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1657711355 | 1657715561 | t3_vy0ukd | t5_2to41 | 149 | Zakkattack86: TIFU by assuming I was alone
This actually happened yesterday morning. I usually get to work at 4:30am and I see no other signs of life till around 6am. I work on the 5th floor and there's 3 functional elevators. When you push the button to go up from the lobby, it's usually the first or second elevator that dings and opens. I've never seen the third one open which is a service elevator with a front and rear entrance.
This particular morning, I push the button, and the service elevator opened. I thought nothing of it and got on. As soon as I planted my feet into my riding position, I felt a massive rumble in my stomach. Knowing full well if someone were to enter the lobby, there's no way they'd make it to my elevator before it closed and left, I went zero dark thirty.
I proceeded to crack off a no reserve, unclenched, extremely aggressive demon slayer. It literally made me chuckle at how loud and ferocious it was. As quickly as it came, my flawless victory was short lived. That smile on face was nowhere to be found when I heard a faint cough from behind me and the rear service doors to the elevator opened. I turn around and staring into my soul was a sweet looking older lady with her purse to her side and holding a brown paper bag which was most likely today's lunch.
Without breaking eye contact, I quickly tried to break the awkward silence and said, "Good Morning", only audibly came out as "GerregfMorwe". I knew full well she heard every piece of profanity my ass just spewed. She nodded and proceeded to join me in the pit of hell. Not a single word was spoken after. She got off on the second floor and never looked back. If it was your grandmother, I'm so sorry.
​
​
TL;DR - I farted very loudly when I thought nobody else was around.
Lurkerphobia: She was probably annoyed you were there because she was going to do the same thing and now she had to hold it in.
Zakkattack86: This made me realize there's a chance that she farted at exactly the same time I did, heard only her own, and was just as traumatized as I was when the doors opened. Oddly, this make me feel better about it, even it means our chem trails became one.
3pbc: > our chem trails became one.
A love story for the ages
Zakkattack86: 
| 5 | 29.8 | |
1657714135 | 1657716447 | t3_vy1o9z | t5_2to41 | 11 | tturtle205: TIFU by taking a joke way too far
So need and someone in my friend group tend to regularly get into playful insulting matches but this time I greatly fucked up with this insult. I feel like such an asshole literally shaking with self hate. I had knowingly said to my friend that is one of the best people I know and will had in life, completely ruined by me saying "I wish you could lose weight so there'd be like of you" and I feel way fucking worse because I decided to follow through with "guess we're done." I honestly feel like total shit. I will definately apologise tomorrow but I'm sincerely thinking about removing myself from that friend group. Someone like me should be around such good people so I'm not sure whether to apologise and then just leave that friend group or stay because both feel wrong.
Feel free to insult me I fucking deserve it
TL;DR
I insulted a good friend and now I'm unsure whether to leave that friend group after apologising or staying.
PhotographOther7832: definitely apologize apologize apologize that is fucked up even if you didnt mean it i personally have been on both sides and it is not fun on either dont leave the group because when i was the one insulted by my best friend if he left the group even if an apology was before it would still feel awful call him and apologize and talk about it and damn i sound old as fuck
tturtle205: I'm sorry you've been through that but thank you. I will definitely apologise. I will see how the group interacts with me then I might decide to stay or leave
PhotographOther7832: thank you make sure you are sincere about it because ik i have tried to apologize over something similar and ended up sounding like a asshole lol
tturtle205: Yes I honestly feel like I couldn't not be sincere right now.
Thank you for your understanding and advice this has helped a lot but I do still feel shit about it
PhotographOther7832: Your Welcome
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1657714439 | 1657726472 | t3_vy1rm3 | t5_2to41 | 21 | existnlangst: TIFU by overestimating my capacity to handle edibles
I'm a retired Army veteran with a 100% disability rating. I am in constant pain from injuries overseas. A few months ago, my drinking was getting out of hand. I was drinking heavily to numb my pain and to quiet the noise from my PTSD. Recently, after eliminating drinking, someone recommended I try delta-8 gummies. I've never had any THC items but I was assured it would help with pain and they are legal in my state.
I took one gummy and waited 10 minutes before saying screw it and taking the other. After an hour, I was extremely high. Tried to sleep it off only to find I'm still high. The upside is that my pain is bearable. The downside is that I have to go to work and I have several big projects to manage today.
I thought I could handle this as I used to drink a 750ml bottle of whiskey in one night. But I overestimated my capabilities and and still high. Today is going to suck
TL:DR - thought I was hardcore and took a double dose of Delta 8 gummies for the first time last night and now I have to get to work for several big presentations. I am still high and struggling.
SteakMenu: Don't look at it like oh shit I'm still high, look at it like oh cool I'm still high! Your outlook on life will determine how things unfold
existnlangst: Ok good to know. This is strange for me. First time I've ever gotten high and I work as a contractor in IT.
SteakMenu: Gotta say 2 gummies is ballsy having never been a smoker before that and you didn't even call in sick! Everything they taught me in dare has been a lie
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1657715073 | 1657716386 | t3_vy1ypa | t5_2to41 | 86 | TickledRedd: TIFU by touching myself with a Scoville rating of approx 5000.
This fuck up happened about 6 hours ago, and boy is she a doozy.
I thought I'd make the brave decision to do some adulting today, cook a healthy dinner, prep some lunches...the fun stuff. So as I'm cutting my veggies, I bravely cut and stripped my jalapenos with no fucks to be given about gloves. I was so exausted today, it didn't even cross my mind...ripped the cores out with my fingers and all: Fuck up #1.
About 5 mins later, sautéing my regrets, my eye gets an itch, I forgot that I only gave my hands a quick rinse since cutting those mean greens : Fuck up #2
I itched that poor eyeball so fast, with immediate anguish. My eye was on fire, I suddenly remembered that I fucked up bad by not washing my hands thoroughly...but you see, Fuck up #3 is that in my haste to calm my burning eyeball, my hopeless brain squirreled and ended up just quickly washing my hands, then delt with the fireball in my eye socket. Cold, soaking wet cloth and some rinses and we're golden! All good (foolishly thought). Finish making the meal, clean up, watch a movie and before you know it, a couple hours later and time to finally attempt sleep. I have a tendency to masterbate frequently, so as with most nights I go to bean town and start rubbin er down....about a minute in I realized my Final Fuck up: I didn't scrub all around my nails, just did my routinely 'after you use the washroom' hand washing... Y'all, my clit is ON FIRE. Burning inferno. Flaming c*nt. Holy fuck I swear the initial hit of the burn had me seeing my afterlife. The horror of immediately remembering for the second time, in less then 3 hours, that I have touched the most sensitive parts of myself jalapeno juice. Biggest rookie mistake I've made, and jalapenos are cooked with often here.
So, now I'm laying here in bed, with hands so well scrubbed they're damn near raw, in all my flamming crotch glory with a cold cloth on my nether bits, writing my humiliation out as I wait for the fire to settle down enough to pass out.
TL;DR I didn't wash my hands after cutting jalapenos, touched my eye, hours later touched my lady bits, now suffering with multiple infernos.
Edit: I apologize, phone did me dirty with formatting this into a run on paragraph.
wiffleplop: I’d like to be able to say that I bet you won’t do that again in a hurry, and I’m probably right. Give it a few months or years though, and it’s entirely possible. Get well soon ;)
TickledRedd: The trauma from this event will definitely have me WAY more cautious for the foreseeable future 😂
| 3 | 28.666667 | |
1657717162 | 1657755214 | t3_vy2n8n | t5_2to41 | 3 | No-Statistician-7753: TIFU installing an aquarium heater
So my aquarium heater just arrived (ordered from amazon) and it was hard figuring out how it works. Some time later I manage to turn it on. Now I want to check on it so I pull it outside the water. Could've Fu'd there but didn't. Now this shizo Is ON outside the water, so I go to insert the hot stick back in and...
BANG! the glass just explodes and a piece of it falls into the water. I immediately take everything out. My 200 IQ Tried to put it back in, but it was making the sound you'd hear before a tnt detonates so I decided to pack everything up.
I'm gonna pack everything up, and try to get a refund or a replacement. That did not go well.
Also, the goldfish are fine. It was a single piece of glass and so I removed it and everything is fine. I might not get a refund/replacement (that thing cost 160 EGP) so that would be bad. This definitely stressed out the fish and some tiny pieces of glass might still be in there.
TL;DR: aquarium heater exploded while trying to put it back into water while on.
Botebog67: After 25+ yrs of all kinds of "tropical" fresh water fish cultivation I can honestly say that heaters are an unnecessary component to your setup. Unless you live around Yukon or are raising expensive sensitive salt water varieties. UV filter/ lamp though is the best investment ive made for a healthy, crystal clear evnironment.
WesTheFishGuy: I disagree, some fish need around 80° which can't be achieved without one
| 3 | 1 | |
1657645216 | 1657725197 | t3_vxg26f | t5_2to41 | 21 | Atizok: TIFU by sharing my gf's netflix account on my tv
TIFU by sharing my gf's netflix account on my tv
First of all, sorry for my English it's not my first language
So this wasn't technically today and more like quite a couple years ago, back then I (23M) was with my still current gf (23F) just chilling out watching Netflix on the TV of the bigger living room of my house, this is not quite usual because my parents are usually around the house and we have a more private basement downstairs, however I think that day my parents had to go out of town so I had the house pretty much for my own.
At that moment (and still) I didn't have a netflix account, however my gf did have one which she shared with all her family (two uncles and her mom), so she loged in with her account on the big TV of the living room, we did the netflix and chill move and that was it, however this is where I fucked it up, I may have forgotten to log off the account after that, which shouldn't be a problem in a normal situation but that is where my dad comes into play.
First of all, He is usually a really chill and reasonable man, who pay his taxes, go to work and just is great at being a dad and a respectable member of society. However He sometimes have really dumb and pea-brained ideas. I don't know how to explain it. It's just like a spark ignites on his brain and he decides to do the most stupid and foolish thing he comes up with at that time.
So there is him, next morning watching TV as usual and just decides that the best thing he can do to spend his time It's to check on Netflix for no fucking reason (again we didn't own any Netflix account at that time), and finding out that he could watch free TV series, without at any point wondering how he is able to do that at all. This isn't that bad at its own, what its pretty dumb, Its he decided to add his own profile on the account with an username like Dicktron69_xxx, (I dont remember the actual name he used but something like this).
Imagine my surprise when my gf sends my screenshot of her account with that profile at display of her entire family to see. At the end I loged off the account from the TV and she erased that profile, but we aren't still quite sure if anybody from her family could see that.
TL;DR I didn't predict the caothic nature of my dad when my gf shared her netflix's account with me,
Livid-Imagination-68: And did you ask your dad about it lol
Atizok: He told me that as the TV was brand new, of course the netflix would be included with the TV, because thats how the world works, although fair enough, That day I also had to explain him that Prime video was available because we had a premium Amazon account and not again because it was included with the TV. In his own words "I dont understand how if the app is installed on the TV , I can't see all the TV series I want, this is bad design "
| 3 | 7 | |
1657719406 | 1657720767 | t3_vy3fhq | t5_2to41 | 4 | GuitarrGEEK: TIFU by shar✝️ing on roomates face
[removed]
fuckhumans_2020: omgg poor him💀💀
GuitarrGEEK: that shit must’ve felt like fire maybe he will actually set me on fire
fuckhumans_2020: i mean he should😂
GuitarrGEEK: you think i should be set on fire just because i pulled an amber heard on him
fuckhumans_2020: lmaoo not amber heard😭
| 6 | 0.666667 | |
1657675551 | 1657836143 | t3_vxr1h4 | t5_2to41 | 6 | valkrianrose: TIFU by getting myself blacklisted from the local OBGYN
Let me start from the beginning which is long to better explain what lead to TIFU. Also men of reddit, please feel free to skip this.
Late last year, I went to my local OGBYN to get the pap and for a concern I had for light spotting and pain on my left side. I was told it was normal and was pretty much given antibiotics and ignored. Now my period has never been regular, like I barely get it six times a year and being in my 30s thought maybe I should look into this as my hubby and I are thinking of having a kid sometime.
Earlier this year, I had to leave work early due to sudden pain on my left. Honestly I thought it was PMS cramps and gas at the time, boy was I wrong. My left side felt like it was on fire and the pain was slowly getting worse till I ended up puking my guts up in the bathroom from the pain. This happened on a Friday which is important. Went home, in so much pain that I just curled up on my couch and went to sleep. I don't recall grabbing my things or my jacket but I do remember sending a video to my hubby proving that I was in the car and heading home. According to him I looked really out of it and deathly white. Well that entire weekend, I was in pain and going through tampons every 10-15 mins with a lot of nasty included. (No need to get graphic) Come Monday I'm feeling better but still pretty rough, make an appointment and go in a few days later. My hubby goes in with me cause 1) I asked him cause I needed him to be there for support and 2) to see if they were treating me like crap or it was all just in my head.
Oh my cotton socks it was not in my head. We arrived at 2:20 and do not leave until 4 pm. They pull me back to do the basics and I ask if my hubby can come with. Nurse rudely says he does not need to be back there but then adds he come in later. Like okay, I just want my emotional support person who happens to be my hubby. Basic stuff done, they tell me to get him myself, I do. Not happy at this point but whatever maybe she had a rough day who knows. Hubby comes in, older nicer nurse comes in to get the paper gown for me. Doc finally comes in, does the pap (I was not prepared for this) tells me to get dressed then we'll talk.
So the way we were sitting, I'm in one corner and my hubby is on the opposite side by the doc's desk so the doc is in between us so we can see each other and have an eye on his facial expressions at all times. Doc starts in on how I was demanding to know why this and that these things happen or some things might be missed. First of all, your nurse practitioner ignored my concerns and here we are. We think I may have had a miscarriage at my workplace that may have been prevented had y'all done your job right the first time. Second I just want answers at this point. We go from pushing birth control, I don't want it, to listen how many times do I have to say no to birth control? We end with doing an invasive ultra sound and for me to come in during my next cycle for blood work. Now my hubby, he is a gentle laid back person but he almost comes unglued by the docs comment about me. As I mentioned I don't get normal cycles so I tell him this and he fires back that's not possible and those period tracker apps don't work. We end it there and go to the front. Nurse at the front tells us that I need to call when I start so they can get me an appointment at the hospital for the blood work. My hubby comes unglued in the car at their treatment and disinterest in all of this. he also verified that no, I made the correct call to bring him with me and that he was appalled at their attitude.
Now about today, sorry y'all from the long run down. So I started my cycle today, its been a few months since my last one. I call the office and tell them why and that I would prefer to have the blood work down in the afternoon. My summer job starts early and is 30 miles from town. They call me back on my way home and we're getting the ball rolling, every things going well until they ask me if I'm tying to get preggers. With the way things are going yes I was on alert by that. We go back and forth on why do they need to know and I remind them that in my file it says word for word. "I'm married if it happens it happens." Nurse gets made and finally says we need to know it affects what type of test the Doc will order. Well why didn't we start with that in the beginning? Get them to finally agree I'll come in tomorrow for the BW in the afternoon. They also say they will be telling the doctor about my refusing to answer their question to which I'm like do it. Tell him I'm concerned about this and why you needed to know. FANTASTIC! I'm now grumpy at this point.
BUT WAIT! THERE'S MORE!!! Call me back about ten minutes later explaining that it has to be the morning, and we go back and forth. Then they tell me if I come in the morning, they'll draw the blood and send it off to the hospital but if I want the afternoon, then they have to send me to the hospital. But wait, your nurses told me months ago that I would be sent to the hospital for this why are you now saying that it will be done in house? We go back and forth on this again, fine I'll come in on Thursday morning. Then they say that they forgot to tell me something. Oh hey you need to fast. Ummm wait I have an eating disorder and I will be in a lot of pain if I don't eat something. Before I even ask if there's something that we can do, the nurse is already getting mad at me again. Then she goes I'll have you speak to the doctor about this, alright fine I don't want to deal with you anymore.
I'm on hold for what felt like forever, honestly it could have just been a few minutes. Well here's where I fucked up. Say's that he's been by the nurse this whole time and wants to know why we are having such difficulties. I counter back why is your staff treating me like garbage? Immediately says based on that sentence, I am no longer seeing you as a patient and will ask that you seek medical attention elsewhere. Let my office know where and who to find your files to. Me being pissed at this point asks if they can mail them, no, I can pick them up? Yes, cool I'll sign whatever damn paperwork to get my files. Have them ready for me tomorrow.
Side note, I'm driving an hour away this Friday to get my bloodwork done. Could I have handled this better? Most likely yes. AITA, again yes. But I feel like they pushed me to this point.
​
TL;DR - TIFU by arguing back on trying to get some bloodwork done and asking why I was being treated like garbage and got blacklisted from the local OBGYN.
RockLobsterCakes: Nah, it will be better to go elsewhere. Patients come first in the medical field. If a patient is in pain, you listen. I’d rather drive an hour to get better healthcare then have people who give subpar care bully me.
valkrianrose: My original plan was to get everything done at my old OBGYN then take all the info and get a second opinion which is now happening a little sooner than I thought. Still salty about the fact I have to pay them $35 for my own files.
RockLobsterCakes: It’s the last time they can squeeze you for $$. You’re free of them now. I do hope you get some relief and this new doctor listens. It took a long time for me to find one of those, but they do exist.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1657722150 | 1657723430 | t3_vy4f09 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking my step brother caught COVID, accidentally made him tell everyone he got Herpes…
[deleted]
My_Cat_Louie: Mononucleosis is NOT a type of herpes. It can be contracted just drinking after someone. If your family thinks it herpes, you need to clarify because that extra shitty to let them think that.
Now go apologize.
Calixtas_Storm: It is actually a strain in the herpes virus family (specifically it is human herpesvirus 4, or Epstein-Barr virus). It just isn't the typical herpes virus strain (genital, or herpes simplex virus) that most people think of when they hear the name "herpes." And like you said, it spreads through saliva, it isn't only spread through sexual contact.
Definitely should not be spreading other people's personal information, it was not their business to tell. Definitely would apologize to the brother and also stop eavesdropping and telling people what they think they may have heard
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1657722197 | 1657724556 | t3_vy4flf | t5_2to41 | 12 | FriarTuckeredOut: TIFU: Stolen Lunch
TIFU: This happened to me just now. I brought some food to work yesterday, but then ended up getting free lunch and from The Honey-baked Ham no less. So, I left my food in the fridge overnight. I got to work today and I went to the fridge and to add something to my lunch for the day. It. Was. Gone.
The people in the lunchroom were like “hey u/friartuckeredout, you can put your lunch anywhere, it’s okay.” I told them someone had taken my lunch, and one coworker said that had happened to her before.
I am enraged and I immediately send an email to HR and detail my woes and my coworker’s. I text my wife and tell her of the injustice that has befallen me. She is outraged as well.
I google how to catch a lunch thief at work and it recommends looking at coworkers trash cans. I begin to do this. And then, it occurs to me. I was late yesterday and in a hurry to get in to work. I put my food in my backpack with my laptop didn’t I? Did I take it back out? I check my backpack and there it is.
I rush to my email, HR has replied and included the entire leadership team. I am dying. I text my wife and tell her this: “Never mind it was in my backpack for 24 hours. Wish I hadn’t sent that email to HR now” that’s when I notice it was an iMessage, my wife doesn’t have an iPhone. I sent it to a coworker. A coworker who likes to gossip. It’s only a matter of time.
TLDR: thought my lunch from yesterday had been stolen, I complained to HR, found my lunch in my backpack, accidentally texted a coworker about it instead of my wife.
Cthulhuwar1ord: I’ve never had anyone steal food from me other than something like an apple. But if it happens to me the next day i’ll bring a decoy lunch with super hot peppers grounded up or something
FriarTuckeredOut: I was making all kinds of devious plans. Ghost peppers would have been in the equation.
| 3 | 4 | |
1657707788 | 1657889096 | t3_vxzvmd | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: tifu in online class
[deleted]
Mrcrispyeggroll: Weirdo
imnewonredditso: That i am.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1657725160 | 1657764449 | t3_vy5kqd | t5_2to41 | 72 | xibb: TIFU by brushing my baby’s hair
So last night (I guess last night IFU) I wanted to take some cute photos of my baby, but his hair was looking like it somehow got hit by a typhoon on a bender, we’re talking Jimmy Newtron style cowlick meets Krusty the Clown patterned hair. The little Safety First hairbrush with its flimsy plasticy bristles was no match for this hair, we needed a real heavyweight for this wrestling match. We needed the real GOAT brush. So I head over to the bedroom and release the real goat hair brush from its prison cell aka our dresser drawer, where it lives its forbidden life, hidden away from our youngest but fattest cat Leo, and I brush my baby’s hair into something resembling a respectable, balding peach.
Now, here is where the FU happens. Rather than do it myself, I asked my husband to please escort the goat hair brush back to its prison cell, so that our criminal mastermind loaf of a cat Leo does not find his assault weapon of choice. You can all guess what happened (aka didn’t happen).
Fast forward to 3:30 AM and my baby’s hair is starting to furl up again but more importantly he decides 3:30 AM is a great time to host a screamo concert for the entire ~~prison~~ apartment complex. I haul my tired ass over to him and sit him in the ~~drunk tank~~ couch for some ~~sobering~~ middle of the night refreshments. Unfortunately, the screamo concert attracted the wrong kind of crowd and my oldest but floofiest cat decides to start a mosh pit for 1 by knocking everything off the coffee table, including the forbidden GOAT hair brush my husband “put away”. In my sleep deprived state I neglect to return this prisoner back to its cell (again), but eventually the screamo concert ends and we all (minus the goat brush) head to bed.
And then the real prison riot begins. The screamo concert had been a diversion. Leo, the fat bandit, was able to acquire his assault weapon of choice. He runs wildly, holding his goat hair brush between his sharp fangs. He knows security is nearby, so he evades capture by jumping into a cell-one with bars about 2” apart on all 4 sides-yes, the crib, and he begins his riot by running around in circles clanging the wooden handled goat hair brush against the wooden rails. CLANG CLANG CLANG. It’s a scene we’ve all seen on TV. Baby startles! Baby laughs!? CLANG CLANG!! Security runs towards the crib, but the fat bandit has escaped, still clutching the goat brush between his fangs. Eventually, we manage to tackle the fat bandit and retrieve the goat brush. I sigh, and take a moment to contemplate whether I need this to brush the Jimmy Netwron cowlicks out of my own Krusty the Clown patterned hair. And that’s when the fat bandit’s older but floofier accomplice reappears, aiming his loud meow directly at baby Jimmy the Clown Jr. This is a stick up. He demands treats! Treats now or I meow in baby’s face!! And this is how I wound up wide awake since 3:30 AM, a prisoner to 2 cats, a baby, Jimmy the Clown hair, and a goat hair brush. The most terrifying part is, I don’t know where I put the goat hair brush. If I ever manage to get back to sleep, it’ll have to be with one eye open.
TLDR: neglected to put baby’s hair brush away despite history of loaf cat wanting to murder it. Loaf cat found the brush in the dead of night, ensuing a police-style chase while he banged it on every surface (including my baby’s crib) waking everyone up. Featuring bribery by my floofy cat, who threatened to meow at my baby’s face after the hard work of getting him back to sleep unless he was fed treats.
Aremathick: A wonderful read. Well done...I guess thanks for your husband's FU
xibb: I mean I had at least 2 clear opportunities to put the brush back. I knew the risks. I payed the price for my laziness. I’ve now been up for 18.5 hours on 4 hours of sleep 😭
Aremathick: Sigh If you want to get things done, do it yourself I guess 🤷🏾♂️
| 4 | 18 | |
1657728994 | 1657731831 | t3_vy74ha | t5_2to41 | 1 | Teenage_Dirtbag_05: TIFU by saying period blood is disgusting
i (17F) am a cosplayer on tik tok. and if there is one thing i can tell you about the cosplay community is that they are RUTHLESS. you have no room for mistakes, no matter your age. one fuck up, and you’re done. you might as well delete your account because your comment section is going to be filled with hate, no matter how long its been.
i got lucky. thankfully, this all lasted about 2 days.
so, one of my mutuals made a joke about the roe v wade overturning, which isnt bad but the execution was terrible. they held up a used tampon and used the audio thats like “did you know you have rights? the constitution says you do!” that one. so, in a moment of stupidity, i commented something along the lines of “thats disgusting, im unfollowing.” they made a video replying it saying stuff like “oh no, what will i do?! (sarcasm)” they told me to grow up and yada yada. that video got probably around 17k views. people WERE NOT happy with me. i got hundreds of comments attacking me. they said things like “oh your scared of tampons” “grow up” “its a natural bodily function” overall just being annoying. some 14 year old joined my discord sever and just send google images of tampons. dumb. people unfollowed me for it, and some cosplayers i even looked up to were hating on me.
TL;DR: i almost got cancelled for telling someone that its gross showing your used tampon on the internet.
nevernor: It was a form of protest against abortion bans though, right? Not just someone randomly saying "here is my tampon".
"Used tampons" as protest against abortion laws has been done before...
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/women-are-sending-used-tampons-to-the-governor-of-texas-in-protest-of-the-new-abortion-rule/
Teenage_Dirtbag_05: it wasnt rlly protest? i wouldnt say? it was more just a joke i think
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1657729978 | 1657797466 | t3_vy7irt | t5_2to41 | 4,245 | [deleted]: TIFU by committing "Domestic Terrorism" in the name of a prank and possibly participating in the greatest story ever told
[removed]
CODERED41: What I got out if this is that Marks a dick.
Vespasian79: I get this feeling too, maybe I’m not understanding the fear or whatever? but it’s seemed they were all friends I feel like I would get over it and not want people to see jail time?
Atiggerx33: Were they though? OP says he's introverted and his first descriptor of them is "Mike's girlfriend Jane, and his two friends Mark and Carrie", OP doesn't say "my two friends", which suggests he didn't feel close to them.
I had a feeling that Mark and Carrie were more Mike/Dave's friends, and more acquaintances to OP (like they shared mutual friends and would recognize each other at a party and say hi, but OP wouldn't have called them to hang out 1 on 1).
So to them OP is just this shy guy they met a few times who showed up in the middle of the night with a gun to traumatize them, they could have gotten seriously injured or killed in their panicked escape (they were drunk, panicked people desperately climbing a waterfall, it's pretty impressive that nobody got hurt). Considering Mike and Dave threw OP under the bus and claimed to not be in on the prank Mark wouldn't think "I was pranked by a friend and it went wrong", he likely thought "that weird asshole showed up with a gun and could have gotten us killed!".
Idk, I'd forgive a close friend for something like that and laugh about it with them some months down the line (provided nobody actually got hurt); I wouldn't want them in jail. I'd know them well enough to know they didn't actually mean me harm and just did something incredibly fucking stupid. I'm not sure I'd forgive someone who I considered a relative stranger or an acquaintance though who showed up randomly (as far as they know since they didn't know others were in on it) in the middle of the night with a gun and threatened to kill everyone, including my little brother, as a "prank". That's not a great early impression, and if I don't know much else about that person (we don't have years of friendship) I'm gonna be freaked. How do I know they aren't actually mentally unstable? They're crazy enough to think that threatening to murder people while waving around a gun is "fun prank", so that doesn't exactly bode well.
Vespasian79: Even still I ain’t gonna talk to cops if they explained it was a prank. I’d be like okayy y’all owe me so food and alcohol but I wouldn’t talk
Atiggerx33: I'm saying they might have wanted to talk to cops because they didn't really know OP well before and genuinely thought he was a psycho after this. I don't generally support involving police in things unless you want someone dead. But in this case I could understand involving police if Mark is genuinely thinking "this guy is fucking psychopath, he's armed, and I'm terrified he might hurt me or my family"; I'm not sure they'll actually help, but I understand the hope that they would.
If a relative stranger pulled that prank on me I can't say I'd be fearful like that even after I knew it was a prank; I've never been in that spot so I'm not sure. Like idk, if they think threatening me and my little brother with a loaded firearm as we piss ourselves in sheer terror is "some good fun" then I sure as shit don't wanna hang around them long enough to see them pissed.
That wasn't OP's thought process at the time, he did a stupid; but it's kinda hard to get over that impression of someone, and generally isn't worth hanging around them long enough to find out if that impression was accurate.
CODERED41: I’m just saying he’s a dick bc he left his bro out to dry lmao. Not all that ^
| 7 | 606.428571 | |
1657731090 | 1657734496 | t3_vy7yxt | t5_2to41 | 18 | LazarianV: TIFU By Sitting down to use the bathroom while on vacation
So, this literally just happened. I'm on vacation with family about 4 hours from my house. We are all sitting out on the back porch talkimg and suddenly, I feel the need to poop, so I excuse myself to go inside to the restroom. While sitting down, I feel the urge to pee as well and normally, I just let go and nothing bad happens. Well today... bad happened. I hear liquid splashing to the floor, look down and notice my stream has decided to majestically arc its way between the bowl and seat of the toilet, christening the floor and my only pair of shorts I brought with me with urine. To make matters worse, said family has just re entered the cabin and now I have to shamefully pull up the shorts of which the ass is soaked with urine after I desperately try to rinse them out as best as I can quickly, as one of them needs to use the bathroom. FML
TLDR: On vacation with family, more came to visit from nearby and I went inside to poop and wound up accidentally peeing on my only pair of shorts I brought in the process.
kiper31: At least You hit the target with no 2, right ?
LazarianV: Lol, yes. Thankfully. And to my relief, while sitting on the can, intensely embarrassed and wasting time posting here, my dad said they were going to all head out and asked if I wanted to stay here or go with them. Usually he'd insist I hurry up and go with them all. For a mercy, I am alone and was able to wash/rinse my shorts and walk up to the loft room in solitude instead of shame and am laying down and will likely be asleep when they return.
1Sluggo: See, they won’t know. Accidents happen, don’t beat yourself up.
LazarianV: Very true. They always seem to happen at the worst times though.
| 5 | 3.6 | |
1657734094 | 1657819900 | t3_vy95b4 | t5_2to41 | 314 | Noogatuck: TIFU by looking in the wrong place
Today, while eating my lunch, brown rice with beef, I had a large, nay, gargantuan booger in my nose. I could feel it, it was there. I planned to ignore it and deal with the situation later, after I had finished my lunch. Unfortunately however, without warning, a violent sneeze struck me and the booger left my nose and flew I presumed, directly into my food.
I spent 5 minutes analyzing every grain of rice and piece of beef, determined not to eat the gigantic, monstrous piece of snot that had hardened within my nasal cavities. But after tirelessly searching, I gave up. Hunger overcame me and I ate the rest of my food, all of it. I was filled with shame knowing I had consumed a booger. For alas, I was no longer a young boy where such behavior was considered "amusing" or "adorable".
But, not five minutes ago, I discovered where the fateful booger had lodged itself.
​
In my topo chico, as I swallowed it.
tl;dr I sneezed out a giant boog and then looked in all the wrong places.
AcrobaticSource3: I am not exactly sure how you discovered the booger
Noogatuck: Did I mention its gargantuaness?
AcrobaticSource3: Yeah, but how did you detect it when swallowing it? Rice and beef probably have the same size and consistency of a booger, no? And a booger the size of a grain of rice indeed would gargantuan, so how could you tell them apart? I’m also not imagining your booger to be bigger than that, because a booger bigger than a grain of rice couldn’t fit in your nostril without impairing your ability to breathe
suncrusher85: Topo Chico is a drink, so, you know, liquid. Liquids should not have solid chunks.
VaultDweller77: Maybe it wasn't a bugger, just a stranded maggot or something
[deleted]: if your having doubts you can definitly tell by the taste
| 7 | 44.857143 | |
1657735782 | 1657776764 | t3_vy9sqh | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking a woman was trying to help a homeless person but was actually asking me out
[deleted]
ilikeyouforyou: As the other commenter said, she'll likely walk past you again or on the other side of the street to avoid you. So you'll need to be proactive and wave her to come talk to you.
She's likely been watching you a few days.
raffaele2406: Happy cake day!
ilikeyouforyou: Happy cake day to you too, my twin sister-brother-postop-preop! 😘
raffaele2406: I love your nickname, fellow terrestrial 🥳🎉
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1657737642 | 1657743961 | t3_vyaiid | t5_2to41 | 23 | AllPurposeNerd: TIFU by slipping in the shower.
So I'm in the shower before work (I work nights), cleansing my filthy human form, everything is normal. It's your typical 'standing room only' shower with shelves in the corner for soaps and razors and such. I've been using Head & Shoulders for decades because my puberty came with really bad dandruff. Side effect: my hair has always been unusually nice, to the point that people will regularly compliment me on it. We have the big 32 oz. bottle with the pump top. So I pump the pump top one half pump, dispensing what is typically an appropriate amount of shampoo plus conditioner for myself. I don't even remember exactly how I did it, but around the same time my soap hand had reached the top of my scalp, my free hand gently bumped the pump top.
This caused the bottle to fall from the shelf, tumble one-and-a-half times, and land directly on the pump top, causing a bolt of Head & Shoulders classic clean to shoot directly into my open eye.
Now... it didn't burn at first. It was just so shocking I just kept my eye closed while I struggled to process what was happening. Then suddenly I wished I hadn't closed my eye. Suddenly I was peering through a spyglass into the tenth circle of Hell. Thankfully this could only have happened in the shower so I was immediately able to rinse it out, but I think I might have tried to wipe it with the soapy hand at one point. Idunno, the critical moments of the incident are still a little fuzzy.
It's been just about an hour and I can only hope that the redness and swelling have subsided to the point that nobody at work will question it. But it still doesn't feel good. I don't have any eyedrops in my house so I'm gonna try plucking some nosehairs while looking at pictures of my ex.
tl;dr: I knocked over the shampoo bottle and it squirted directly in my eye.
twilightsgraces: I got head and shoulders in my eye once (not suds, glob of shampoo) - you need to go to the eye doctor. I had a chemical burn on my cornea that required drops every 2 hours for days because of head and shoulders....
AllPurposeNerd: I don't think it was on my cornea long enough to really do damage, but my conjunctiva is not well. I'll have to go to an urgent care later. It is steadily getting better, but I'm a little worried what the morning will bring, like I wake up and my eyelid is adhered.
^((Is conjunctiva plural? Is it really my conjunctivus?)^)
twilightsgraces: Conjunctiva covers the entirety of the mucous membranes around the eye (I know animal medicine, not human medicine). I washed it out immediately, but it was instant burn the moment it hit my eye per the doctor.. My eye was crusty for days, had to warm compress it to open it every morning. Hopefully, you dodged a corneal burn!
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1657738241 | 1657739019 | t3_vyaquy | t5_2to41 | 8 | Every_Job_1863: TIFU by insulting my freinds sunburn
context: My freind 'Felix' got a sunburn the other day. I don't know how bad it is because they've only texted me, but they say they're uncomfterble.
also, Felix is the host of the GC.
So this happened a few days ago. I didn't think it was that serious at the time, but now its been long enough that i'm thinking this is worse than initialy thought.
That day, i was in the GC texting with Felix and 'Micheal'. Micheal showed a photo of themselves with a concert ticket, then quickly deleted it and reuploaded it.
I was confused and asked why they deleted it. Micheal and Felix said the second photo was censored, and that i should look up why you should censor photos with concert tickets. (Felix mentioned it has to do with barcodes)
I'm guessing my first mistake was just glazing over the google search resaults, because i just assumed you could dox someone with a ticket, and not just steal the ticket.
Felix said to clarify, "cause someone could steal it". And Micheal sent "Like (my name)".
(i've always wanted to go to a concert).
I made a half joke, half confused statement saying "why censor it, i've been to your (Micheal's) house before"
(again, i thought tickets contained personal info).
Felix and Micheal said it's not related to what they were talking about. (In retrospect its probably because we had different ideas about what could happen if a concert ticket was shared).
There's a back and forth for about a minute with me saying its related and them saying its not.
the following is an exchange between me and my (ex?) best freind Felix:______________
"i can't with you goodbye"
"enjoy that sunburn😒"
"fuck you"
"fuck off"
______________________________
It was rude to use Felix's sunburn as ammo, but i was upset by how stubborn they were, and then Felix says they're dealing with me?
What suprised me was Felix saying fuck you, because they never say that. I wasn't prepared for the escalation and i dug my heels in.
After i give myself a minute to cool down, i tried DM-ing Felix to apologize. Because normaly when i clash with a freind, it doesn't last long and it's chill after. (like healthy freindships)
But when i sent my apology, the app said they *blocked* me. And now im like "wow, they're mad"
I backed out of the DM and noticed that *they kicked me from the group chat.* This was when i started to get that death feeling in my stomach when i get really worried.
(btw, we can't see eachother in person for a while because of distance)
I then messaged them an apology on Snapchat (bad in hindsight) and they blocked me there to.
At this point it felt like i was in a thunderstorm and was wearing a metal pole for a hat.
.
.
.
A bit later i asked some of my other freinds questions like what happened, am i exhiled (half joking), etc. The only person who responded was Micheal.
I asked them if everyone hates me now because none of them have responded in a while. They said "i'm not realy sure idk". I thanked them for acknowleding my existence and they said ofc.
And that was the last i've heard from any of them. Micheal hasn't even replied to "how was your day".
I sent them all (obviously execpt Felix) a message saying i won't bother them until i'm invited back.
.
.
.
I'ts been about half a week now, and i havn't recieved any sign of life from them. I'm now considering that this is permanent and i'm currently looking at ways to find another freind group.
I like them alot and me and Felix usualy get along realy well. So i'm realy confused by their overeaction, and why everyone else is ignoring me.
Honestly don't know how to feel about this or what to do, so i'm asking strangers online. lol 😅...😔
TL;DR: My best freind was short with me and i was rude about their sunburn in response. they said Fuck you and have blocked me and kicked me from the freind GC. No one else is talking to me. i think its an overeaction but i'm not sure.
UPDATE: i was able to talk 'Felix' on another app and they said they need some distance for a bit, and that i'm free to talk to my other freinds. only person talking to me is still 'Micheal'. i'll update this when its been 'a bit'
Xexist: This doesn't sound like it has anything to do with a sunburn
Every_Job_1863: thats why im so confused, and i don't think its about the concert ticket because that was just mindless small talk
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657738684 | 1657740292 | t3_vyax0i | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by wasting $8,000 on functional medicine
[deleted]
welcometothemaschine: Wait… what do you mean by low-normal vitamin b and ferritin?
It’s either normal or it’s low.
haphazardhues: You can be on the lower end of the "normal" range of things, and it can still cause issues.
welcometothemaschine: If it’s still in range, it’s still considered “normal”
Don’t forget, those values are determined by your geographical location and age, and the average of “healthy” individuals. So, what may be normal to someone else, may not be normal to ylu, that’s why ranges can vary. As long as it falls in between low and high, you’re good.
| 4 | 3 | |
1657741114 | 1657743364 | t3_vybv9w | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by existing I guess
[deleted]
Combologo: I usually don't say that.... But man, I never saw a bigger first-world-problem-post than this one.
SnappySnakez: Do you think theres a better subreddit than this, I was thinking of putting on r/wellthatsucks instead but I didn't. Yet I know that the people in this sub have way worse issues than this. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing, but this is probably one of the worse things that has ever happened to me which is why I wanted to rant about it.
Combologo: Yes, that's a good thing dude...
I can't think of a place where you could post it and not sound pathetic... The basic message is "I am a privileged whatever, living at my family's, can do whatever I want, don't have to work, and am totally f'ed off because I slept too long, with not even an appointment I have missed or anything. Oh, and I don't even care enough to use my phone as an alarm.".
C'mon, I think the real TIFU is that you thought this is an issue to rant about and to share with the internet.
SnappySnakez: I don't understand why I sleep so long, I'm not that privlleged dude. I'm 17 and live in a trashy ass neighborhood, I live with my grandparents because my parents couldn't take care of me. I was looking for advice on how I can wake up natrually or some shit. Clearly, my life just fucking sucks or some shit.
Combologo: Nah you are right at the beginning of your life and can control if it will suck or not.
You just need to get your a** up and get into the habbit of actually doing something, like another guy already replied.
You are in a little slump right now, you need to pull yourself out there ASAP.
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1657741135 | 1657894175 | t3_vybvjv | t5_2to41 | 45,558 | JustMonikaJustDdlc: TIFU Asking my Tinder date to choke me.
(This Happened a few weeks back, only posting now since the condition has finally cleared up.)
I've just recently started getting back into the dating scene. Met up with a guy from tinder that I'd been chatting with for a few days for drinks. Things were going very well, there were no awkward gaps in conversation, we were both into alot the same things, he was really funny, and it didn't hurt that he was also super fucking hot and in shape.
Maybe 2ish hours in he asked me if I had any plans afterwards. When I told him I was probably just gonna go home and watch Kenobi, he asked if I "wanted someone company" while I did. I said fuck yeah and we headed back to my place, where needless to say we did not end up watching Kenobi, or at least not very much if it before we dropped the pretense, started mashing lips together, and clothes started flying off.
Something to note about me is that I love roughness and love getting manhandled. I understand that's not for everyone, but that's what I like. This guy was very sweet, and very gentle with me, but at this point I'm very much into it and trying to get him to go harder. Spank me, pull my hair, etc. Finally he's got me prone from behind and I'm calling out for him to choke me, since I know it'll drive me over the edge. He's very reluctant, but eventually relents.
I had expected him to just use one hand on my neck, but he ended up using his whole arm, kind of like how they do in ufc fights. It was very tight, but he was putting almost no pressure on it, so I could still breathe relatively normally. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's the best way I can think to describe it. Wanting it to be tighter I kind of teased him by saying "C'mon don't be a pussy" trying to be sexy but also letting him know to choke me harder. He obliged, and it was the tightest I've ever been choked. I could feel my whole body shaking as I started to orgasm, the next thing I knew I was jolting awake and gasping for air.
It's not the first time I've passed out from being choked, but this guy was urgently trying to get me dressed and to a hospital. I thought he was overreacting until he got me in front of a mirror and I saw that one of my eyes was filled with blood. Like imagine all the parts of your eye that are white are all just blood red. It didn't hurt, but needless to say it freaked me out pretty badly.
To wrap up this overly long story, I spent about 4-5 hours awkwardly explaining what happened to multiple nurses and hospital staff, explaining that I had asked him to do it and that he wasn't abusing me. Which I imagine was hard to believe given the appearance of my eye and the bruise starting to form around my neck. Long story short, the doctor let me know I had popped a blood vessel in my eye, and that while it looked bad, it was most likely superficial and would clear up in a few weeks.
He ended up driving me home, but ended up not responding to any of my calls or texts the following day. Found out he ended up unmatching me on tinder as well. So yeah, pretty sure I traumatized him and blew that opportunity at a relationship.
TL;DR: Ended up asking my tinder date to choke me, ended up passing out and popping a blood vessel in my eye, had to explain that I'm just a kinky weirdo to hospital staff, and likely traumatized my date to the point he wants nothing to do with me.
Edit: Just wanted to take a moment to update this post and clear up some things.
1. I completely acknowledge that this situation was 100% my fault and I really do feel awful about what happened, but there's not a whole lot I can do.
2. I had already reached out to try to make amends the day after the incident happened. As much as I would love to properly apologize in person for everything that happened, it's clear that he dosen't want to speak to me, so I'm going to respect his wishes on that.
3. No, I'm not "going to therapy" because I have a kink and got caught up in the moment because I was horny, or for any other contrived reason you come up with .
4. Please stop assuming I'm super into BDSM I'm really not. I just enjoy a little roughness and bring choked. I do appreciate the people giving solid advice though.
5. He might have been reluctant to choke me, but he was still very much a willing participant. You can call it victim blaming or whatever, but some of you are very cavalier with your use of the word rape and sexual assault.
Will update if I think of anything else.
I_might_be_weasel: I'm guessing he realized how unwise it was to have violent sex with someone he just met and is now terrified you're going to press charges.
kneeltothesun: Probably best to have the kink discussion before you have sex, instead of springing it on them in the middle of the first experience. Especially if your partner doesn't know how rough is too rough. It's unfortunate that he would have payed the price, for what was for the most part, her mistake. I wonder how many cases like this exist... He should also be aware that if he kills her, he can still be charged with manslaughter, regardless of intent.
I_might_be_weasel: Without her defending him, no one would believe him, anyway. Hence why I'm guessing he's scared of getting in trouble.
kneeltothesun: Yeah, and even if they did believe him, he'd still be charged, if she died ultimately. She probably won't make that mistake again, but having this situation logged with the hospital will ensure if it happens in the future, there is precedent for the defense. It's easy to forget how fragile the human body is, especially a woman, so I guess he learned a valuable lesson as well. Dating scares me now, that's all I know.
powerangerpink: Dating scares you now? Oh dear lord.
kneeltothesun: Oh dear lord, dating is very violent compared to a decade ago. Sorry, it does. When I was largely dating, kink wasn't as widely accepted, and you wouldn't likely have something like this sprung on you in the first encounter. So yes, darling, I am.
powerangerpink: So you think this single anecdote of an abusive woman is indicative of the entire dating scene? Well, *darling*, perhaps it’s best if you don’t.
kneeltothesun: I think it's certainly indicative of the dating scene, and it's not the only case. I see it on reddit all the time, and really, how do you know if I haven't experience something similar..or my friends? You don't. I think what I said initially in this thread, conversations before kink, is important. And your righteous anger, and projection, won't change that. Read further, if you like, but you'd be wrong.
powerangerpink: If you read either of my comments and think I have *righteous anger* over your assessment of the dating scene, you’re far more egotistical than I initially thought. It’s not that deep.
But if you’re using Reddit anecdotes as evidence for your belief, I’m concerned for you.
kneeltothesun: lol okay, that's why you're still here, arguing over semantics, so you can feel righteous. Usually people's judgements, and insults to people on anonymous forums have a lot more to do with what they think of themselves, than others.
I think it's important to converse about hitting people, biting them, or choking them, before you just do it. Simple as that. Keep your little hissy fit up though, it amuses me. What make you think you can discount other people's fear, experiences, and observations on the risks in dating? Let me guess, you like kink.
powerangerpink: Lmfao you’re fucking weird, dude. You’ve concocted a whole ass story about who I am so you can have an argument with yourself. 😂
kneeltothesun: I'm not a dude. Someone's scared women won't want to participate in their weird kink.
powerangerpink: Well that’s embarrassing for you. Quite the projection.
kneeltothesun: funny, I feel it's embarrassing that you're still here, arguing nothing. Keep it up, I'm loving it. I guess you have a hard time getting women to participate in your kink. lol scared other dudes will scare them off, or are you just flirting with me? ;)
powerangerpink: You’re not very observant, are you?
kneeltothesun: Are you asking for more of my attention?
powerangerpink: You can’t resist coming back for some reason, which is hilarious considering I’m not who you think I am lmfao
kneeltothesun: lol you replied to me, and I'll just continue on and on, until you can control yourself. I love watching people devolve, unable to stop.. Maybe you'll learn about yourself. I can go on, and on. I have to work all night :)
powerangerpink: Man, the irony here is hilarious lmao
kneeltothesun: back for more? are you in love with me, now?
powerangerpink: Don’t flatter yourself. I don’t play for the same team 😘
kneeltothesun: Lol well in this dating "market", you might have it sprung on you! sis
powerangerpink: You’re not even making any sense lmfao. I’m sure a woman will bully me into dating her while I’m not on the market. 😂 Gg, *darling.*
kneeltothesun: Lol who knows, you could just be in the middle of your first sexual encounter, and boom a woman. Much like if boom, you're slapped, or boom, you're choked, or bit. Probably would suck. I guess you forgot about the issue you were arguing over in the first place. lol you're def narcissistic
powerangerpink: Lol man. Your hypocrisy just never sours. You’re *so close* to getting it.
kneeltothesun: not a man, sis. Didn't we speak about this? I think maybe you'll go longer than any man at this. Sometimes narcissistic women are just worse than narcissistic men. I'm already here working, might as well. I think you're just coming here on your off time lol
powerangerpink: You’re seriously fucking weird, dude.
kneeltothesun: Lol but here you are, pot, meet kettle :)
powerangerpink: You seriously don’t have any mirrors, do you?
kneeltothesun: lol I'm holding one up right at your face.
| 31 | 1,469.612903 | |
1657744434 | 1657788510 | t3_vyd5r2 | t5_2to41 | 96 | Okeano_: TIFU by letting our subreddit turn into r/AmITheAsshole#2
[removed]
Diet_Coke: I think we should have a 2 out of 3 rule:
☐ Today
☐ I
☐ Fucked Up
If you can't check at least 2 of these, it doesn't belong.
andrealessi: Today I ate a sammich.
Childeater8: #OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
| 4 | 24 | |
1657728966 | 1657756103 | t3_vy7433 | t5_2to41 | 19 | Hawkholly: TIFU by buying a 3DS
Obligatory not today. This was in 2011.
I was 12 years old and in love with Nintendo consoles. The 3DS had been out for a few months at this point, but I didn’t have one yet because my parents had wanted me to learn how to pay for things myself and save money.
So I worked really hard at school to earn some money for good report card grades, did extra chores around the house, saved money from my birthday cards, and I’d saved the $249.99 to get the 3DS by around August 9th or 10th.
We went to Target, I found the color console I wanted and paid for it. I was ecstatic.
Then about 3 or so days later I found out that they dropped the price from $249.99 to $169.99.
Y’all.
My 12 year old soul was CRUSHED.
I’d worked so hard to save up that money but if I had just waited a few days I could have kept some of it and bought some games or something. I was VERY upset.
Yesterday, I was talking to my boyfriend about this, and he asked me if I at least got into the ambassador program. I asked him what that was.
Yeah…it was a program for people who bought the console before the huge price drop and they got like 20 free games downloaded on their 3DS. All you had to do was go on the Nintendo eShop one time before the price officially dropped.
My mom had told me not to buy anything online, so I never touched the eShop until like 2014. I also didn’t even know about the program.
So yeah, 11 years later this incident managed to slap me in the face once again. 20 free games just gone. Sigh.
TL;DR: Bought a 3DS about 2-3 days before an $80 price drop. Could have gotten 20 free games as an incentive for doing so, but didn’t because my mom told me not to buy stuff online.
frenat: Sorry to add some fuel to the fire but there was a short period of time after they announced the price drop but before the ambassador program ended where you could buy the 3DS at the lower price and still be an ambassador. The price drop was announced early in the week for August 12 and many Walmarts dropped it right away. I bought mine on the 9th,
Hawkholly: Aw man!
I wish there was a way I could still get them. Oh well
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1657746870 | 1657757983 | t3_vye3py | t5_2to41 | 891 | Better_Guidance_465: TIFU googling bf's dads screen name
Using a throwaway. TIFU by googling my bfs dad's screen name. I'm trying to be vague because this could potentially damage my relationship and my bf has reddit. I saw my bfs dad's screen name on an app and decided to also look him up to see if he had other social media's we could also friend on. My first mistake was using Google because I should have just used the social apps I intended to find him on in the beginning. Basically I found something I shouldn't have and out of curiosity I clicked a result and ended up seeing my bf's dads dick and other videos. I can't stop thinking about what I saw and I am ashamed from clicking because I just can't unsee it. I wish I could tell his dad to not use the same name for everything but it just wouldn't be right coming from me obviously.
Im not sure if it matters but my bf and I have been in a relationship for about a year and I have become pretty close to his family so thats why I intended to connect on social media with his dad because I have done the same for his mom and sisters.
TL;DR I googled my bfs dad's screenname and saw his porn.
Ok-Consideration-248: My ex husband and I would sometimes pop into his parent's house to do laundry (usually his parents were at work during this). We lived in a small apartment just down the road, so easily walked there and it was more convenient than buying a washing machine. We would usually hang out in their guest room while we waited on the laundry. The guest room had a bathroom attached, and when you walked out of the bathroom the bed was immediately to your right against the same wall as the bathroom door. My then-husband was in the basement switching the laundry, and I thought this was a good opportunity to have a private bathroom moment. After a long poop, I walked out and to my horror saw my father in-law masturbating to porn on the bed. He didn't notice me right away because he had headphones in his ears. I wanted to run out of there unnoticed but I had to pass him to exit, which he would see, and I knew it would be extremely weird to just walk/run past and leave. So for a second I started heading back to the bathroom. Then I realised how fucking weird that is as well. My face bright red, I awkwardly screamed "Oh my god I'm so sorry". And then I left as he covered himself with the blanket. This has never left me. But I did not tell a soul.
This_Space_For_Rnt: Hahahaha!!!!
Ok-Consideration-248: It really does sound funny, but it was NOT. Haha.
This_Space_For_Rnt: Can you laugh about it now?
Ok-Consideration-248: I just laughed so hard about it while recalling the story with my (new) husband.
This_Space_For_Rnt: Omg what did he say when you told him the first time?🤣🤣🤣
Ok-Consideration-248: He laughed and sympathised but mostly had so many questions.
This_Space_For_Rnt: 🤣🤣🤣idk who I feel worse for, you for having to explain it all or him for having heat the story.
| 9 | 99 | |
1657747408 | 1657747966 | t3_vyeb59 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU realising there's another way you can hold hands with someone.
[deleted]
MelodicTour2: I'm thoroughly confused
TheGMan1981: One persons arm always has to be in front of the other persons arm when walking side by side holding hands. OP has been selfish and always taken the more comfortable hand holding position her whole life, and she should be ashamed at the discomfort she has inflicted on all the poor souls that have held her hand all these years.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657745711 | 1657753451 | t3_vydn91 | t5_2to41 | 30 | Zoomii555: TIFU by catching my dad eating a late night snack
This happened last night, and I won't lie, it hurt to see. Some context about my dad, he's a functioning alcoholic with some sort of eating disorder. I want to clarify, he's never been abusive to me or my mom when he's drunk, but knowing he drinks is kind of important for context. He had a very traumatic childhood with truly evil parents who abused him physically and mentally, which has led to him becoming an alcoholic. My dad also wasn't allowed to eat dinner, and when he was allowed to eat he was told that every bite that he ate was "a waste of food". If he didn't eat fast enough, his dad would literally take his plate from him. Now, as a man nearing 60, he has a hard time controlling himself around food. He's pretty overweight, and frequently eats late night "snacks" that he definitely shouldn't be eating.
Last night, my dad, as usual, had too much to drink and fell asleep on the couch. I was in my room watching a movie, and my mom had already gone to bed. At around 10:00 pm, I heard my dad get up to go to the bathroom. His nightly routine is to usually wake up, go piss, and go to bed with my mom. I try to listen out, because he usually leaves their door open and my mom keeps it shut so our puppy doesn't wander the house at night and mess something up. However, he didn't go to bed, so I left my room, looked down the hall, and saw that the kitchen light was on. I also busted him in there the other night, and made him go to bed. I went to go get him again last night.
As I approached the kitchen, I stopped and decided to see what he did. You can see into my kitchen at night through a reflection in the window, so I stopped and watched. He had the refrigerator open, and he got out a circular container. He opened it up, and began to CONSUME the contents with his bare hands. Quickly, I realized that he was eating COLD EGG NOODLES, with his bare fucking hands. I stepped into the entrance of the kitchen, intending to stop him. He didn't notice me though, he was FOCUSED on the food. I've never seen anyone eat like he was, it was like he hadn't eaten in a week. Handful after handful of cold egg noodles.
I backed out of the kitchen, retreated to my room where I grabbed my cup, and returned to the kitchen under the guise of refilling it. At that point he had put the noodles away. I got him to go to bed, returned to my room, and spent a couple of minutes processing everything. This morning, I called my mom and told her about it, and when she got home I explained further. Tonight, I'm planning to record him if he goes in the kitchen. I actually hope he does something like this, so that MAYBE I can show him the video and get him to realize he has a problem.
TLDR; Caught my dad eating cold egg noodles with his bare hands, eating like a cave man that hadn't eaten in a week.
xscumfucx: Are you sure he’s not sleep-eating? When my Mom was drinking a lot she’d wake up in the middle of the night + eat cheese. Sometimes she’d eat slices of cheese which wasn’t usually noticed but other times she’d eat shredded cheese out of the bag + make a bit of a mess or leave something out. She also enjoyed Dorito’s + I once followed a trail of them into the attached garage where she was sitting. She had no memory of these incidents.
Zoomii555: I had no clue that was a thing, but that would make sense. When my mom complains that he never comes to bed until late at night, he always says that he does go to bed. We always thought he was just being sarcastic, but maybe he really does think he goes to bed.
Not to mention, during these "in-between the sofa and bed" times he has this really weird look on his face, and he gets mad easily over super small stuff.
xscumfucx: Is it one of those looks where it’s like the lights are on but no one’s home? There were times I’d explain something to my Mom when she was in a messed up state + it’d be like one minute she’s totally aware + following what I was saying + then the next she has no idea wtf we were just talking about. She often didn’t remember the next day. One time when I was ~14/15 she decided she wanted pierogis. It was already dark out but the restaurant was only a 10 minute walk down the road, if that, + it was open 24/7 so we decided to walk to the restaurant together. It started out fine but when we were ~halfway there she started + would not stop babbling on about how much she wants these pierogis + keeps repeatedly asking me “do you think they have pierogis?!”. I kept reassuring her that they did. I’m getting very frustrated at this point + also concerned because we’re walking down a fairly busy highway, she’s not paying attention +, I’m holding onto her so she doesn’t take a tumble. We finally stumble in, plop down in a booth +, the waitress comes to take our order. All of the sudden she doesn’t give af about pierogis. I was more than a little pissed. I then had to hold her hand + walk her back home. It’s funny looking back on it now but at the time I was clenching my teeth because I knew if I yelled at her she’d turn into a puddle of tears + I can’t carry a puddle back home.
Zoomii555: It's just kind of this blank look. I did some more research on sleep eating and the similar night eating. He doesn't fit the bill 100% for both, it's more like an in-between.
| 5 | 6 | |
1657752489 | 1657756460 | t3_vyg9ri | t5_2to41 | -36 | hiruru1: TIFU by thinking with my dick
So I'll just start this off by saying I'm a 16M. A few days ago I was hanging out at my friends house. I was having a good time and then these girls came over. One of them was kinda chubby and she started talking to me. She wasnt exactly my type or anything, but after chatting for a little while I left and hooked up with her in her car. I feel like I get with girls like this just out of being horny.
I fucked up because she's been wanting to hangout again, but I'm really not interested in her like that. She's told some of her friends about it and they've been coming at me about how I only hooked up with her and cut her off. It's been annoying. This isn't even the first time this has happened to me either. I wish I would grow out of this mindset and move on.
TL;DR: TIFU by hooking up with a girl that I wasn't super into and now she's wanting to keep talking and other people found out.
Comprehensive-Buy443: That’s called a practice girl. You’re supposed to fuck girls like that while you’re young so you’ll be swinging dick like a pro when you’re in your 20s. Tell her she gotta learn how to keep your business between y’all, but other than that you didn’t fuck up. Keep up the good work shordy.
hiruru1: I've had another guy tell me this too.
Comprehensive-Buy443: Sounds like that guy knows what tf he’s talking about 😎 just be nice to the ugly girls you fuck. It’s only problematic if you’re then mean to them on top of it, but don’t let anybody guilt you for being the cool homie that lays some dick and doesn’t get too emotional about it.
hiruru1: Yeah thats how it went down pretty much. She just was coming on to me and it was a wrap.
Comprehensive-Buy443: The downvotes im getting are from men who didn’t learn how to fuck when they were young And then got embarrassed for nutting hella fast in college. Trust me - you are on the right track. Be nice and respectful to her, but you’re basically on the right track already
| 6 | -6 | |
1657752283 | 1657753587 | t3_vyg6vx | t5_2to41 | 14 | Mobile-Helicopter-73: TIFU by ordering more stuff than needed at work
I just got off of work today, and today I fucked up. I bought way more supplies than we needed.
I got a lot of pallets of material, more so than we need, and we have to see if our supplier will take ~5 and let us get them back in over time, because we simply have no space to store them due to a new project in the back that’s taking up space.
It’s horrible. The suppliers don’t seem to really care and don’t seem to want to help us try and sort this out, and there’s so much of the stuff that we really are screwed.
I had to increase the minimum order quantity from the supplier from 150 to 500, and this is thousands of dollars here.
I’m so thankful that I have others trying to help me out, and while the warehouse people seem to be understanding, I know if I bring them bad news it’s gonna be hell. I’ll have to wait to get a response from the supplier tomorrow if they’ll even take it for us (we’ll have to pay extra but it’d solve this problem temporarily)
God I’m a fucking moron
Tl;dr:
Bought a lot more shit than needed at work, suppliers not really wanting to help,
BADoVLAD: Most suppliers will do it with a restocking fee. Shit happens. Keep your chin up and good luck!
Mobile-Helicopter-73: Thank you! I hope they’ll decide to do it for us…
BADoVLAD: I am back in school now but had plenty of goofs in the 20+ years I spent in the "real world"...this really isn't all that bad on the whole. Hopefully next year this time you're just laughing at yourself for the mistake and I bet that's the case.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1657747735 | 1657756874 | t3_vyefm9 | t5_2to41 | 20 | Need-for-geese: TIFU by cosplaying to see the latest Thor movie at a small local theater, in the middle of a heat wave, after my mother had been diagnosed with an incurable illness
Technically last week, the day of the release. My partner came with me. I never got the chance to do this kind of things when I was young, and he didn’t need a lot of convincing. I dressed up as Loki, he as Thor. My costume included a rather cozy cloak with fake fur attached. His was quite more cumbersome. Some parts were, in fact, made of metal, such as the breastplate, and very heavy.
In case you don’t know, this is not exactly a serious movie, but a central part of the plot involves one of the main characters being diagnosed with advanced stage cancer. My mother has recently received some spectacularly bad news from doctors; not the same illness but it’s high on the list of “worst diseases ever”. To say everyone in the family has been mildly traumatized might be an understatement. I must also say that, before watching the movie, I had read the comics and knew what to expect, but decided it was a great idea to go anyway.
Now, I’m aware people usually do this cosplay thing at premieres, but I had always assumed people only get invited because they know someone who knows someone (turns out there are ways of getting on lists to attend one). In any case, this was a last moment decision and I hadn't done any research or got invited anywhere so here we are.
The day of the events, I decided to try to cheer myself up with a good dose of liquid courage. This started early in the morning. Shortly before leaving, a wave of sorrow hit me and my mood turned very, very sour. I was rethinking everything. This suddenly sounded like the most stupid idea in the planet (and rightly so). My partner tried to comfort me and convince me to go. It took a while. The previous drinks were most likely not helping my mood at all.
We ended up leaving rather late. The fastest way to reach the movie theater was on foot, but a good chunk of the way was just asphalt with no shadow in sight. The heat was unbearable and my partner suggested to take the public transport instead. I declined, because it would take longer, and convinced him to walk. Halfway to our destination, I was coping remarkably well with the heat. My partner wasn’t so lucky. He informed me that he was being slowly baked alive inside his armor. I reached my hand to touch his breastplate and you could indeed fry some eggs on it. I was becoming seriously concerned at this point. But we were halfway there! Better to press ahead and try to reach the movie theater and the blessed AC.
We finally arrived at the theater, still alive. Everyone was already inside. We entered the room right as the movie was starting. As one might expect, we were the only ones who had dressed up.
I started to tear up the first time a hospital room appeared in the movie and pretty much couldn’t stop since then. At some point, I run out of tissues and sneakily reached for the end of my partner’s cape to dry the remaining snot and tears.
We left for home as soon as the movie ended. My partner was trying to cheer me up, telling me that he had seen children looking at us in awe and that some people had given us a thumbs up as we passed by. I can see myself moving to another neighborhood on the opposite end of the city.
TL;DR: went in cosplay, for the first time in my life, to see a movie at a less than ideal location, underestimated how badly a tragedy in my family has been affecting me, almost caused someone to get a heatstroke, arrived late, turned what should have been a fun day into a crying fest.
KarrieMichell: Sounds like you are going through a tough time. You probably made some good memories for the people attending. Don't feel ashamed of feeling down during the movie.
And show your Thor a bit of extra love to make up for the walk.
Take care of yourself. *Hugs*
Need-for-geese: Thank you for the comment. Cute cats, btw.
>And show your Thor a bit of extra love to make up for the walk.
I will. He's been a gift in the midst of all this.
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1657754215 | 1659206344 | t3_vygwn6 | t5_2to41 | 41 | SquishySpark: TIFU by answering the phone with a joke
I received a phone call tonight from my niece’s (25) number. She lives 15 minutes away, and my husband and I have been helping her the last few years to get on her feet. I answered the phone with “Bob’s Mortuary, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce”.
It was her boyfriend using her phone to call me to let me know she slipped, fell, and hit her head on the bathtub and is bleeding profusely from her temple.
Now he’s waiting for the paramedics, I’m waiting to hear where she is being taken, and I had to call her mom (my sister) who lives across the country.
I’m hoping it’s just a minor concussion, I know that head wounds bleed profusely. I’ll try to give an update when I find out more.
TL;DR: Answered the phone with a joke response, turns out my niece is being taken to the hospital for a head wound.
**UPDATE** She is fine. She has vasovagal syncope in response to pain. Basically she faints due to a sudden drop in blood pressure when she experiences unexpected pain. They think she had an ovarian cyst burst which caused the pain which caused her to pass out. She got two staples and is about to be discharged.
AcrobaticSource3: Wouldn’t it have been awkward if her boyfriend called to tell you that your niece died?
kakashi-hataakee: Lmfao💀
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1657754974 | 1657757007 | t3_vyh6is | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by not realizing a joke was a joke
[removed]
andku23: That feeling when you don't realize a comment is a comment smh....
mcdonalds8592: idk what this means
andku23: Try read through the post again, there's a minor typo I think
| 4 | 1 | |
1657755740 | 1657758372 | t3_vyhg8k | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: Tifu by overhearing my mums conversation
[deleted]
redbucket75: You'll get over it
TheChuck76: Under it
Close to it
Behind it....
Alternative_Touch798: In it
TheChuck76: 
| 5 | 3 | |
1657755870 | 1657809637 | t3_vyhhvz | t5_2to41 | 62 | Lil_FlipWhip: TIFU by taming a stray cat
So this just happened a few minutes ago. I just got back from a midnight gym session. I was going to lock my front door when I saw this young, grey cat. Me being a cat lover of course opened the door to greet the little guy. At first he was a bit hesitant, but after a few minutes it let me pet him. So I start petting him and now he's in my house. I didn't mind, but I couldn't let him stay in my house all night, so I take him to the front door. I pet it for a little longer and decide it's time to close the door and call it a day. I go and sit on the couch for a while and after some time I needed to turn of the lights at my door. That's when I noticed that the cat is still waiting at my door and it won't leave. Even while writing this he's still there. I guess it's my cat now lol. Still need a name tho.
TL;DR: I started petting a stray cat and now it won't leave my front door.
Fit_Ad_7681: Looks like you're stopping at the pet store tomorrow. Make sure to get the little guy to a vet for his shots too. Also, don't get the cat declawed.
I'd offer a name suggestion, but I'm horrible at coming up with names.
Lil_FlipWhip: Pet store it is. I'll take the cat to my cousin, the local vet. And are there really people who declaw cats? I've never heard of that, why would anyone do that?
Fit_Ad_7681: Yes, there are. Unfortunately, I'm not proud to admit this, all of my cats are declawed, but we did it before we knew better. After knowing what they do, I'd never get another cat declawed again. I think a lot of people though look at it as "I don't want my stuff scratched" and don't think about the wellbeing of the animal. I say if you don't want stuff scratched, you shouldn't get an animal.
Childeater8: What does it do?
Fit_Ad_7681: Imagine having the tips of your fingers broken at the knuckles and cut off. That's how they declaw an animal.
Childeater8: :(
| 7 | 8.857143 | |
1657756038 | 1657756646 | t3_vyhk3v | t5_2to41 | 13 | 11Luski: TIFU in my lab by dropping 130$ lab equipment because I RAN INTO A WALL
TIFU in my lab. I work in a biochemistry laboratory as an undergraduate student and was making gel plates for SDS-PAGE (gel electrophoresis). The part where I fucked up is I was wrapping them up in paper towels to keep them hydrated and to be stored in the fridge. I was so stupid as to not look where I was going and my shoulder ran into the portion of the wall as I turned around and I dropped one of the 4 plates. The plates are made of glass and ended up shattering. One set cost about 130$. I’m not sure what to do, as there are many plates and nobody saw it, but I’m extremely guilty because that would be not being honest. I want to tell my Professor, but I’m honestly embarrassed and scared. He’s a very chill guy but I don’t want him to be upset with me.
TL;DR - my stupid brain dead self was moving too fast and not looking where I was going, dropped 130$ gel electrophoresis plates, and now I’m stupid embarrassed because of how it happened.
ocdtrekkie: $130 is nothing, just be upfront, apologize, and own it. People screw up at work to the tune of thousands of dollars all the time.
I work in IT and you can't really say you work in IT until you've made a mistake that cost your employer a couple thousand bucks.
Lying at work can cost you a job, accidentally anything at work will probably be shrugged off.
11Luski: Absolutely will. Thanks for the kind words and advice. This is my first time messing up, and it’s just really embarrassing, but I guess I just have to understand that mistakes and accidents happen. I just feel so dumb if he asked me “how?” And I said “i ran into a wall..”
ocdtrekkie: If he's chill, he'll think it's hilarious. Just own your fails and try to do better.
Also, remember your worth: Even at minimum wage, $130 is like, a day of work, tops. Even if you aren't getting paid for the work you're doing, consider that whatever your training is, it's probably worth more than a day of work. It's just not a lot of money, and unless you are prone to frequent expensive mistakes, they'd rather laugh at your mistake once and then move on.
Trust is super super important in the work world. $130 down the drain is spare change, but an untrustworthy employee is absolutely unacceptable. Honesty is ALWAYS your best policy at work.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1657757769 | 1657759553 | t3_vyi5cj | t5_2to41 | 8 | Fr3nchT0astCrunch: TIFU by assuming my brother was getting frisky with his much younger roommate
First, some background info. My brother is 29. He's currently single, although he's been with three different ladies in the past, though he fell out with all of them due to some...issues they had. Not too long ago, I found out he has a roommate (19F). They are not in a relationship; they merely live under the same roof. But keep in mind there is a big age gap between them, and she is still a teenager - that is important.
As far as I'm concerned, they've been living well together. My brother has never complained about her, so obviously she must be doing something right. The trouble is, my brother is often away from home because his job requires him to work very odd hours. As such, his young roommate is often left to herself.
One day, however, things got a tad bit strange. While I was walking past my brother's house, I heard...suggestive noises. I'm sure you can tell what I'm referring to, seeing as there's a NSFW tag. My brother's car was there, but I thought nothing of it.
Well, fast-forward a couple weeks, and I found out that my brother's roommate took a pregnancy test and sure enough, she is pregnant. I saw my brother later that day, and I basically asked him, "What the hell?", because all of the evidence pointed to the fact that he had impregnated a 19-year-old despite the fact that he will be turning 30 next year.
Unfortunately for me, despite all of the evidence being stacked up against him...he was innocent. The *actual* father is some loser kid that got expelled from the school I went to for getting into a...severe physical altercation with another student. And to top it all of, he's *younger than her!*
That poor kid (don't feel sorry for him, he kinda deserved it) just ruined his life...and now my brother hates me because I actually thought he was the one who impregnated her. It's going to be very hard to restore my relationship with my brother after this one!
TLDR: My brother has a 19-year-old roommate whom, due to a series of coincidences, I assumed he had impregnated...but he really didn't, despite everything pointing to him.
Inevitable-Exercise5: Assuming you didn't talk to other family members or friends before talking to him, I doubt he'll be mad forever. Buy him a case of his favorite beer.
ForkShirtUp: Dude, he is 29 and can buy his own beer
Inevitable-Exercise5: ? It's an act of apology.
| 4 | 2 | |
1657761704 | 1657763380 | t3_vyjh8s | t5_2to41 | 5 | DylantotheJ: TIFU by not taking time with my beef ribs and choking.
I went to an all you can eat sushi restaurant with my friend and we ordered our food and started catching up.
I ordered my usual Kalbi which is thin Japanese beef ribs. I love it because it's always very tender and soft. I was tearing it with my teeth when the entire flesh came off the bone and the rubbery end got lodged in my throat.
I was trying to swallow but it just was not going down, my friend was in deep conversation while I'm trying to discreetly cough the beef out with no luck. I wasn't sure what to do and then it hit me I'm choking and I've never choked a day in my life. The coughs were becoming more intense like I wanted to throw up.
I knew I was at a restaurant so I didn't want to throw up and upset the other diners and I didn't want to make a scene either. I contemplated hard and decided it's every man for him self, and I had to do what I must.
I held a napkin over my mouth while I reached as far as I could with my other hand and successfully pulled out the lodged piece of flesh. All the while my friend is totally oblivious to what had happened.
As a lot of time has passed I decided to just throw it out there "hey remember when I was choking" and he was like "wait what?" and I was like " yeah it was so surreal you never think it's going to happen to you until it does" and he was like "I thought you were just randomly coughing, dang didn't know you were chocking". We had a good laugh and I was taught a good lesson in consuming my food carefully.
TLDR: Was eating beef ribs (kalbi) as the entire flesh came off the bone and got lodged in my throat. Choked for the first time and had to save my self LOL.
AcrobaticSource3: Can’t blame you, meat tastes good
DylantotheJ: oh yeah I love it, it's one of my favourite dishes at sushi restaurants.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657761785 | 1657817818 | t3_vyjibc | t5_2to41 | 197 | EntrySouth5962: TIFU Reading my partners journal
Me (m) and my partner (they/them) have been dating for almost 3 years now. Our anniversary is coming up but I noticed it wasn't on the calender. Our relationship hasn't been the best and that's no fault of just theirs. They've been changing a lot and I don't feel they think we're changing together.
I love them more than anything and I just got this off feeling the last few days and my curiosity got the best of me.
I have never broken their privacy before and I don't go through their phone but this curiosity became all i could think about. I pushed it off for a few days but I gave in and saw a letter to me.
It's basically a break up letter
and now I'm debilitated and scared. I don't want to address them about it but they deserve to know what I did and I just don't know what to do about the future of things between us.
Happened an hour ago and I can't stop crying, obvious throw away but I'm just at a loss and hoping reddit might have an honest answer
Thank you
Tl;Dr
Read my partners journal because I got sucked into overthinking and saw a break up letter. Don't know what to do.
CatMost4839: Your grammar is wrong bro ..fuck is up with you Americans
EntrySouth5962: Uhh? Im not writing a book in venting online grammar is the least of my concern you shmuck
CatMost4839: Calling a singular person "they/them" repeatedly ..bruh
saltysammyhammy: Oh so youre just a bigot
CatMost4839: I must be ..is a bigot someone who practices proper grammar?
saltysammyhammy: Considering they/them to refer to someone in the singular sense IS proper grammar, no.
CatMost4839: No that would be he/she/it/that
jared743: Which is correct?
Person A: "My co-worker was tough to deal with today"
Person B: ["Oh, what did they do?"] or ["Oh, what did it do?"]
If you said the second choice, you are wrong!
Kazuuma_Satou: That's basic speech dumbass, not some fucking revolutionary plans you found in your parents basement. Who the fuck would call a human being an it? Oh waaaaait, it would be mfs like you , wouldn't it?
jared743: Did you mean to reply to me? Or the person i replied to?
Kazuuma_Satou: No, obviously you silly, the person you replied is light-years ahead of you, I have no need to correct them!
| 12 | 16.416667 | |
1657762563 | 1657774233 | t3_vyjrpa | t5_2to41 | 11 | throwwwyawayy9089: TIFU by telling my bf I think I'd beat womens mma fighters in a fight
So I'm a 25f and my bf loves watching mma. Well we were watching it together recently and there were some womens matches on. I was looking at the size of some of them and was saying to him that I think I'd be able to beat them in a fight. I'm a lot heavier than the ones I was seeing and dont see how they'd be able to beat me.
He was getting kinda annoyed and telling me that I'm wrong and all of them would kick my ass in a hypothetical fight. I was going back and forth with him about it for a little, but then just stopped. He's saying how he doesn't wanna watch it with me anymore because he just enjoys watching and not getting in those types of discussions which sucks, but I guess it's his opinion. I've still been thinking about this though.
TL;DR: TIFU by telling my bf I think I'd beat womens mma fighters, he got upset and doesn't wanna watch with me anymore.
ryden_dilligaf: ....thousands of hours of training, vs. "I'm bigger, that counts for something."
Something as simple as punching is infinitely more powerful from someone who actually knows how to land an effective one vs someone who has a few pounds advantage.
throwwwyawayy9089: Wouldn't the punch be less effective on a heavier person?
ryden_dilligaf: Depends, obviously there's weight classes for a reason, but being heavier is a mild advantage compared to accuracy, speed, knowing where to punch, how to land a punch, etc. Doesn't take that much force to knock someone out.
Also if the weight difference we're speaking of is mostly fat and not muscle, you're going to be very slow to react to basically everything they throw at you.
throwwwyawayy9089: I'm not exactly sure how much of body weight is muscle vs fat, but the weight difference isn't just all fat
bubba7557: No you're correct. You have 80-90 lbs of fat more than them
throwwwyawayy9089: Correct on what?
bubba7557: You implied your 60 lbs weight difference wasn't all fat. I agree. You have more than 60lbs of fat on those professional athletes.
| 8 | 1.375 | |
1657763925 | 1657801637 | t3_vyk7gl | t5_2to41 | 96 | chrismoltisantii: TIFU by telling the guy I like I fantasize about him
Long backstory short, I've (23F) had a thing for this guy (22M) for a few months now but he has a girlfriend of 8 years so I just decided to never tell him and stay friends.
Yesterday, I had pretty major back surgery so I was heavily medicated. I couldn't sleep and apparently he messaged me to check up on me and we ended up talking all night. I don't remember ANY of this happening and we do this a lot so I didn't think anything of it, until i reread the messages this morning when the meds wore off.
Apparently I told him that I think of him when I masturbate, and how much I fantasize about having sex with him AND that I'm not threatened by his girlfriend. I'm so ashamed of myself and he probably thinks I'm a freak but this is not even the worst part.
He now wants to book a flight to "catch up with me" (we live in different countries but we met several times because we have mutual friends, which is how we know each other) and somehow I was still sober enough to tell him that he shouldn't because well obvious reasons.
Luckily we didn't exchange any pics but I'm so incredibly ashamed of myself I truly don't know what to do
TL;DR I told my crush who's in a relationship I masturbate to him and now he wants to see me
I_BUTTER_MY_POPTARTS: Seriously just because someone’s been in a relationship for 8 years doesn’t mean it’s a forever relationship. Especially at that age. If you think you know him well enough why not see what happens?
If you know it’s just for sex then it’s probably not a good idea. But if it’s a real crush and you’re into him for real take a shot. Could be a very good thing. Probably just going to be so-so though.
Taken_Username_Again: Are you really advocating breaking up an 8 year old relationship?
NorthBall: I thought the post implies he's willing to fly over and cheat on the GF which would then mean that relationship is kinda fucked already
(Unless said GF approved of it ofc)
KimJongIlLover: Sounds like perfect hubby material to me! /S
| 5 | 19.2 | |
1657764948 | 1657781253 | t3_vykjs9 | t5_2to41 | 2 | SilverLucket: TIFU By not moving my files over
I'm not too sure if this belongs here, but I felt like I might as well try.
TLDR: I didn't move video files recorded in HD to my external hard drive, I got kicked out of my game.
I record videos while I play games. Even if I don't post them on YouTube, I like to have an OBS in the background just in case I am in multiplayer playing with friends, and we catch something hilarious.
Typically, I move my files over as soon as I am done for the day, so during the night I don't have issues getting on and playing in the morning.
This morning I started my recordings as I usually do, then I started playing Minecraft with a friend of mine.
Next thing I know, I get a message from Minecraft saying there is no longer any space for Minecraft to use.
Long story short, I am waiting for my 1 TB of videos and other junk to move over to my external HD. At the time of writing this post, I have 53.2 GB free, and Minecraft will not allow me to open my world until there is space.
Why is this a big F-Up? I also do animation and was going to work on a model at 9:30, but I will have to wait for this large video to transfer over.
I thought with 20 TB of space, I would be set, but I guess that only works if you utilize the space correctly.
Sorry for any poor grammar.
LegendOmegaX: What's the capacity on your internal and how much free space to you usually have?
Are you recording in FHD or just HD? What framerate have you set the recording at?
Also, TL;DR at the bottom of the post.
SilverLucket: My internal is 6TB, 2TB are 1TB SSD X2, and a 4TB Hard Hard-drive. I been meaning to change its location of savings to the 4TB hard drive, and honestly, I think it's just HD, at 60-120 FPS. Though it only took an hour to move the 1TB over to the external 8TB hard drive, that is mainly because of the face it is a hard drive.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1657770795 | 1657950017 | t3_vymew8 | t5_2to41 | 6 | TheLexus_: TIFU by Ruining a 9 year friendship.
I (17M) have know my best friend (16F) for 9 years. We met at school and we both had no friends so I decided to talk to her and, to my surprise, she was very nice! We got along immediately and in a matter of weeks we became best friends... As expected I developed feelings for her and, to my surprise(again), she had feelings for me too!
Even tho we where just dumb kids we decided to become a couple :) We were both extremely happy! We hung out almost every day and talked for hours on the phone, however things didn´t go well towards the end. 2 years went by and we broke up due to us constantly fighting (keep in mind we were 13 and 14). We didn´t really like each other after our break up so we stopped talking to each other. After about 4 months we started to talk again and within 2 weeks we were best friends again (we both made it very clear that we would only be friends), She had a boyfriend and I... well I didn´t have a boyfriend but I had a girlfriend.
Our friendship was platonic and we were happy that way. Until I told her I had feelings for her (bruh) and she told me she had feelings for me too (wth was wrong with us). We dated for a few months and broke up again lol.
We stoped hanging out and talking for a good 2 months... UNTIL WE BECAME BEST FRIENDS AGAIN.
We became best friends for the third time last year and I finally felt like we would stay like this forever. I was maddly in love with this girl (let´s call her Sophie) but I ended up heart broken... I was misserable and due to my constant negativity, my "friends" stopped talking to me so I had no one... Except for my best friend who helped me through my "depression" (wasn´t depression but it was the worst period of my life)... This was a couple of months ago and I am ashamed of my self because once again I had feelings for my best friend.
To be honest this time I didn´t want to fuck things up (I only mentioned the times were we got together as a couple but there was many times were I told her I had a crush on her and she didn´t and vice-versa) so I decided not to tell her for a while until I finally gave up and told her.
For the first time she didn´t take it as something funny or addorable. She simply avoided me. 2 days later she told me this "look, I guess I will always have feelings for you... I think you are the one, however we can´t be together again, not now at least. Sorry" I didn´t really react, I just accepted it, and I honestly felt good because she just told me she has feelings for me, right? RIGHT?
Well, we went to a party yesterday and she... Well she kissed my best friend (I don´t know how to explain it but it was more than a kiss and less than sex?). I do not know why I decided to confront her I had no right. She didn´t take it too well and now she won´t talk to me. I now it might seem like just another fight given than we´ve been through this like 10 times but after 9 years I know her more than herself and I know this time something was diferent.
We will not be friends again and it is my fault for 1: telling her I´m in love with her and 2: confronting her about the kiss.
I love her so much and she is all I can think all the time. I lost her and now I literally got no one (I still don´t have friends since my only other best friend stopped talking to me after the kiss).
TL;DR I told my best friend I´m in love with her and now she refuses to talk to me. She was my only friend and I feel misserable.
Icy_Objective7453: Thank you for this story  it was very entertaining. I have no advice tho I'm still figuring the same things out too 🤣 just less interesting
TheLexus_: good luck mate :)
Icy_Objective7453: Did you sort things out or is it still the same =]
TheLexus_: I asked her what was wrong and we had a long talk. She told me things won´t be the same anymore and not in a good way :( She told me I am the one but she don´t want a relationship rn
Icy_Objective7453: Aaw shuck 
| 6 | 1 | |
1657773493 | 1657806079 | t3_vyn8cn | t5_2to41 | 12 | Im_in_admin_hell: TIFU by getting my company summonsed to court for unpaid council bills - UK but advice from anyone please!!!
Hey, a first time poster here. I also posted this on r/WorkAdvice, but also here to see if I can get a response quickly so thank you!
Please please be kind, I know everyone's going though stuff and so am I so please just be kind even if you think I'm wrong. All I need is advice from more experienced people in working life to help me correct this huge problem.
A bit about me: I've recently turned 22, haven't worked growing up due to difficult to handle family circumstances, just a bit of little volunteering here and there, school then uni and graduated last year. I'm an administrator at a charity organisation in the UK. I've never done administration before, never done courses on it and didn't study it at uni. We have also been short of a Finance Manager and the person that deals with the finance in the interim is only part time.
One of my job roles was to open the post, which comes like once a week, some weeks it doesn't come, sometimes it comes twice and it doesn't bring the same type of mail each time eg bank statements, tax invoices etc. It can be a lot of junk too.
I have been sending them the finance letters by taking a photo of the post and sending it to the finance email. Sometimes I would show the physical letter to the person doing finance if it's a reminder. When the old finance manager was here, he asked me to give him the letters by hand so I did but don't know where he kept them as he has now left and only stayed a month.
Yesterday my company got a letter from court about being summonsed for 2 outstanding payments. I'm freaking out and don't know how to tell my manager as I've been looking through my phone and can't find more recent pictures of any letters. Ones I did find, I had sent but I'm worried I'm missing some and didn't send them. Some picture on my phone don't show that I have emailed them but I could have sworn I did!! It seems that the old finance manager and the person that was holding on, hadn't paid them.
On the back of the letter it says you can still pay the outstanding bill before the court date so at least there's a solution but what I am really worried about is my manager being very angry at me and embarrassing me in front of all my colleagues by telling them what happened. Like bringing it up in the team meeting when everyone is in or lots of different people taking me aside to talk to me or just talking to me in front of everyone and really loud and it will be really bad on my appraisal as well. I'm freaking out as I'm not sure if it's completely my fault.
This one time, I showed a physical reminder to the one who is part time and she didn't know what tk do so she said leave it for the new finance manager (instead of her figuring it out and paying it) so I did, and I don't think it had been paid. That might have been April about then. I also sent an outstanding bill to the finance email and I don't think it had been paid either?? Or noone saw it as it much have gotten lost in the emails. Ugh!
We have a new finance manager and I'm wondering if I can just pull her aside and ask her if I can trust her to pay it and not tell my manager about it as I'm scared by what will happen.
I was meant to post this last night but all the stress had me fall asleep. Panic setting in I guess. If anyone can give me advice on how to get around potentially being in trouble before 8am GMT that would be amazing. I'm literally begging. PLEASE and thank you!
TL;DR the finance department with no finance manager, missing images of post that is from the council for unpaid bills, I can't find them in my emails I can find some pictures on my phone. Showed a reminder to the person that took over in the interim and they told me to leave it til the new finance manager starts. Court has summonsed my company for unpaid bills. Can be sorted but it could affect my job and I really don't want to be in trouble. Advice needed by 8am GMT. PLEASE!!! Thank you
DeepFudge9235: Don't hide it from your manger, it will bite you on your ass.
In this case honesty is the best policy. Don't sugar coat anything.
It's time to pull up your adult pants and tackle this head on. Remember the owners and those above you threw you into a position you weren't qualified for and you are trying you best.
1. Call a meeting with your manager be professional
2. Layout the items you do know and the items you don't
3. Work with you manager to solve the immediate issue(paying the fines)
4. Ask for assistance and next steps how they want it handled and get it documented in writing to CYA.
5. Don't ask anyone especially a new person to hide anything.
You will get through this and don't worry about what you think the manager may or may not do. Stress you have been trying your best given no direction and how you can work with the manager to resolve this.
Good luck
Im_in_admin_hell: Thank you for your quick response! I appreciate it. Any advice on how to word it?
Most of the letters are either on the old finance manager's desk or I had taken a photo of them and then like a month later, thrown them away and deleted the photos for space on my phone once I have informed whoever is dealing with finance. I'll gather everything I can and show them.
DeepFudge9235: Then you state you originally had photos of the old letters from the old finance managers desk BUT once the new finance person took over and was given the letters from the old desk you deleted the files to save space.
This is your opportunity to ask for the future to avoid this issue why:
1. There isn't a network drive you can upload the photos to it's not on your phone
2. Why are the old documents scanned and pdf's created instead of pictures. (Heck I just Adobe scan on my phone to create PDF's all the time and upload to a cloud drive)
That's basically all you have. You tell you manager you can change procedure going forward but for this issue on hand, we should pay the fee and go through anything else outstanding to see if anything is missed.
Also finance the person in charge should send updates to the boss, have a designated areas for all mail that the boss has access to, nothing destroyed until it has been digitally saved.
Good luck
msolok: Yeah, something needs to be done to fix this broken process. Using a personal phone to take pictures of letters and invoices, sending the email from the phone and using the phone as storage is, quite simply, crazy.
The documents should be being properly scanned, the PDF of the invoice stored in a backed up network location, and the email with attached form should be being sent from a work device using the corporate email system, and these sent emails should be being filed for future reference if needed.
If the current process you have been doing is the actual business process that is in place, it needs to be changed immediately. It is far too ameteur for any organisation to be doing in this day and age.
If the process you have been doing isn't the official process, but a shortcut, stop it and go back to the process.
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1657773053 | 1657809061 | t3_vyn3pl | t5_2to41 | 9,428 | gothixgutz666: TIFU/ i punched my girlfriend in the face
[UPDATE]- since so many seem concerned that this is a story of domestic abuse/violence. it isn’t, it was all by accident. we laugh about it every single time it gets brought up and let me just remind u that the events happened while someone was half asleep.
i am the girlfriend, i am just telling probably the funniest incident between me and my boyfriend whomst ive been with for a year.
me and my boyfriend were laying in bed one night, mind u he falls asleep much faster than i do. he sleeps like a rock but has very vivid dreams, he does the usual sleep talking and moving around. but this night in particular was different.
i had finally gone to sleep and my boyfriend was moving as per usual. he was probably having a nightmare and ends up waking me up with his moving and mumbling. i turn over to face him and next thing i know, my face is met with his fist. right on the nose and my sleepy tired voice goes “ow babe :(“ to which he replies half asleep “im sorry babe, i thought you were Johnny Sins”.
the next morning, here is the story i am presented with:
“Babe, i had such a weird dream. Johnny Sins was in it and he kept trying to (fuck) me. it woke me up a little and i thought he was in the bed so i started throwing punches.”
My boyfriend thought i was Johnny Sins.
TL;DR / my boyfriend has vivid dreams and woke me up one night by throwing a punch at me. the next morning i learn he was having a dream that Johnny Sins, the pornstar, was trying to fuck him and thought that i was Johnny Sins when he was woken up and half asleep.
ajtrns: +1 for "whomst"
Dapppyy: Whomst've
George7520: Whomst'ven't
DietHumanity: Whomst’ve’nt’d’re
placeholder1998: This one hurt my brain and I'm still not at the answer
AzraelTB: Y'all'd'nt've believed the shit I saw on reddit.
placeholder1998: Y'all'sh'nt've posted that (I did mess up a little while doing this see if you can find where)
| 8 | 1,178.5 | |
1657776522 | 1657781559 | t3_vyo3jw | t5_2to41 | 9 | xQcPlace: TIFU by agreeing to go to the beach.
[removed]
Tapdancer556011: Fwiw, I don't think you're a pedophile. You and P are just a couple of horny teenagers. My advice is to go with your grandma and help her. P will do what she wants to do and so will her sister.
If P ends up being in the same place as you, absolutely do not fall in lust again. Run if you have to. Teen years are the most confusing and uncomfortable years of our lives. Mostly go with the flow and don't do anything you can't feel 100% comfortable with.
Credentials, I was a teenager once and I've raised 3 kids who are in their late 20s to mid 30s. I'm 66. Life gets clearer as you age but you'll be fine at about 22-24ish. Guessing.
xQcPlace: I really appreciate you saying that. I’m just scared if my family found out because I don’t think I could ever have the same kind of relationship with anyone in my family
| 3 | 3 | |
1657778233 | 1657779346 | t3_vyoknd | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by leaving my s*x toy in the bathroom that my parents use
[deleted]
LoopyMind: What a absolute useless story, tell us what the things are!
Emotional_Double_600: Ugh fine
slurs818: .....
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1657780282 | 1657781903 | t3_vyp4hi | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by unintentionally hinting at a (completely untrue) racist family history.
[deleted]
raven080068: I bet you don't have many friends left, if any
MersWhaawhaa: Yeah. Have to agree. Who wants to be friends with someone like that. Waste of time and emotional investment.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657780562 | 1657785438 | t3_vyp73x | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu wearing pajamas in the elevator
[deleted]
___Phreak___: Surely the real question is why did you leave your hotel room in nightware in the first place. Have consideration for others and dress yourself next time.
koozy407: Pajamas in a hotel elevator? You mean, being comfortable on a vacation? How dare he!!
MaleficentPizza5444: Since he can't contain his erections, yeah how dare he
koozy407: Hey, man that’s his funeral. All I was saying, it’s a hotel, people wear pajamas.
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1657782539 | 1657795853 | t3_vypov5 | t5_2to41 | 9 | onenightblunder: TIFU by commenting on my GF’s Friend IG photo
It was very late at night around 3AM.
In a conversation, between me, her and her friend, he accidentally slipped out that she is bi-curious and being a straight guy I felt a sudden discomfort knowing that.
I was pooling with random insecure thoughts and couldn’t sleep. I am still struggling to for that matter.
So I went on Instagram (I rarely use that app) and saw one of her good friends posted a picture of him with a girl.
I wrote down a very insensitive comment “…you change girls like I change my underwear…a new one every week…”
Which I thought was funny at the time but later I got to know he has deleted it.
I mentioned this my girlfriend and she flipped immediately.
She has been not talking to me and ignoring my messages. I tried to say sorry several times. I don’t know if I am even sorry. I just don’t want to be lesser in her eyes and this is fucking me up.
She says “you dont even know him, i do and i dont like why you made this weird comment”
I don’t know what I am doing and why I am doing.
I think I wanted to be mean to him for no reason. Or maybe I wanted to piss him off and drag my attention to a new issue.
I also messaged him stating that I shouldn’t have done it. It was very insensitive of me.
Maybe I just wanted to vent out. I don’t know.
I am lost. Kindly guide me what to do about it. How should I handle this if she talks to me again. I love her and I am 100% transparent to her even about my fuck ups. Not intending that she should ignore it or just go with it. I like her honest reaction to this.
I need to make sure what I understand by this so I could tell her why I did this.
TL;DR
TIFU by posting a mean comment to my girlfriend’s close friend IG picture and she hates me for it and stopped talking to me.
Update -
We talked. She said she is obviously angry because the guy I commented on has insecurities of his own and my comment is hurtful. He also tagged her friend (in the photo) and she might also have read my comment.
I am starting to think about running away. I even skipped work because I couldn’t function.
Fuck
NaaastyButler: My brother in Christ it is 2022 why you gonna make a scene because a dude thinks about weiner every now and then.
onenightblunder: I don’t get it? How did you made this assumption? I never mentioned any gay person in my post.
ThisKiwiKid: Your wording can make it seem like the male friend is bi-curious.
I still don’t get it tho, is your gf bi?
Either way, what you did was petty and immature. I’m gonna guess you guys are <20
onenightblunder: My girl is bi-c not the guy.
Im 25.
I need help. I know it was immature. I still dont get the petty part. I need to understand what I am feeling.
ThisKiwiKid: It’s petty because you don’t get anything out of it, it’s just saying shit about someone to make them feel bad.
Even if she is bi, it doesn’t mean she’s going to cheat or is trying to date other girls. It just means she likes both males and females and at this point in time she is in a relationship with you.
You sound like you’re a bit insecure about your relationship so you should talk to your girlfriend and try sort out your insecurities
onenightblunder: Yes yes that’s exactly what i feel. I’ve mean to her friend. And I am insecure. I’ve been reading a lot about bisexuality lately. I know that their sexuality never changes but they still are loyal if they say that to their partner.
I trust her in that sense. But the “curious” part is what really keeps my mind occupied. I dont want her to not miss out an opportunity to find out if she has a thing for the same gender but what if she finds it out better and moves on.
I dont want to lose her. Its eating me up.
| 7 | 1.285714 | |
1657783745 | 1657800911 | t3_vypzx1 | t5_2to41 | 11,314 | HopelessPieceOfPasta: TIFU By telling my bf about my back up plans for the future
TIFU by telling my bf my back up plan for my future
TIFU by telling my bf that I'd join the military if I didn't find a passion.
Me and my bf were taling about our future and we started taking about our hobbies and passions. He loves all things science more specifically about chemistry. He loves it and talks about it with stars in his eyes and he olans to make a career out of it in the future.
I don't have any.
I'm not passionate about anything like that. I don't have any hobbies. I play video games and enjoy the occasional arts and crafts. But nothing that I could talk about for hours and hours with so much enthusiasm as he does.
I told him that and about my back up plan to just join the military and make myself useful in some way. That I had nothing else and that I shouldn't just be wasting oxygen.
There was a small silence.
I just hear in the smallest voice I've ever heard him speak in that I almost didn't hear it.
Please don't leave
I looked up at him. He looked so sad and maybe even scared. Like I was going to evaporate right infront of him.
I quickly apologized and reassured him that it was my very very last option and that even then there was a large chance that I wouldn't do it anyway. He just hugged me and said that he'd take care of me and that I could take my time finding my passions.
We sat there holding eachother for a while
I never want to be the reason I see him make a face like that ever again.
TLDR: I told my bf that I'd leave for the military if I didn't find anything to be passionate about or a reason to stay. He thought I ment that I'd leave him too. I now have changed my back up plans.
Inshabel: I'm 37, and kinda jealous of people with a passion, I work in IT and it's fine, but sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I really had a passion for something.
smilemaster8: My one passion is skiing/snowboarding but the pay in that field is really meh so I plan to go into IT as well :)
Inshabel: Oh man I do love snowboarding (and videogames) so I can't really say I don't have passions, just no passions that translate into a way to support my family very well.
smilemaster8: Exactly the same xD and game dev is like a really shitty job too :/
Inshabel: Yeah and the country where I live has like, 1 big studio :P
smilemaster8: Let me guess, The Netherlands?
Inshabel: Bingo.
smilemaster8: Haha lekker man. Ja ik ga HBO-ICT studeren binnenkort :p
Inshabel: Succes!
smilemaster8: Dankje! Ik kan niet wachten tot Februari, m'n laatste keer wintersport was 2019 😔
Inshabel: Oof, ik kon gelukkig dit jaar weer.
smilemaster8: Tja zusje had corona 🙄
| 13 | 870.307692 | |
1657789400 | 1657797184 | t3_vyrclq | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my gf if she would break up with me
[deleted]
PepsiCoconut: I dont think you fucked up.
imjustbrowsing123: Yeah definitely not a fuck up. This just seems like a rational conversation. Two completely different worldviews and OP had a convo seeing if it was a deal breaker... I wish more people had these types of conversations rather than waiting for the next holiday party to explode.
theadventureofa: At that moment it really felt like a fuck up 😅, like I ain't trynna lose her or anything and it felt like I was being unreasonable by asking her if she wanted to break up over something like that. That's why I thought it was a fuck up
PepsiCoconut: None of us are perfect, but i’d wager thinking you fucked up is a bit too far.
theadventureofa: Allright thank you very much😅
| 6 | 3.666667 | |
1657790163 | 1657896591 | t3_vyrjav | t5_2to41 | 731 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on my partners phone
[deleted]
[deleted]: This is the worst Hinge advertisement I’ve ever seen
Grumzz: You could definitely say that this guy is.. unhinged
Sorry, I couldn't resist!
Op, I'm truly sorry that he did that to you. As if the cheating wasn't bad enough. At least you know it has nothing to do with you and everything with him being a fuckwad!
[deleted]: It’s okay but your joke is basically just *tinder* for a pun fire.
Grumzz: Yeah I knew I would bumble eventually
[deleted]: This whole thread should just be thrown in a grindr and forgotten about
AggressiveCap7063: Or light a match to it cause there is plenty of fish in the sea
Grumzz: That parship may have sailed already
[deleted]: Hopefully it didn’t happn yet
| 9 | 81.222222 | |
1657792570 | 1657846893 | t3_vys48q | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU Tipping 150% to an UberEats Delivery Driver
[removed]
electricgyro: Mistake on your part initially yes but overall it probably helped feed his family that night or the next night anyway so is it really a mistake or an unintentional charity?
electricgyro: EDIT: I'm disappointed about this OP. Im glad someone posted the original post though and I would say the same as I did prior to the real poster of this. I'm gonna leave this here in hopes that any future reddit "plagiarizer" sees this and realizes that they will be called out. This is a sick thing to do and only a twisted individual would think this entertaining of some degree.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657795824 | 1657796553 | t3_vysyrc | t5_2to41 | 2 | CDriveChase: TIFU by going down Applewhite Road (Donkey Lady Bridge)
Let me start this off by saying, while you might think i'm bullshitting you when I say Applewhite Road, I'm DEAD serious. It's a real place, and it's terrifying.
This story is 100% true and happened about 7 hours before I wrote this.
Me and my sister, who we will refer to as S from this point on have been going on "ghost adventures" to haunted places recently, and tonight we decided to go to "Donkey Lady Bridge" (more of a park) to check it out. I brought along with me my camera (Canon Rebel XSI, old but serves me well) and a lighter and 2 flashlights (one for me, one for S).
As we made our way there we joked and listened to the radio, and when we arrived, it was still slightly light outside, but getting dark FAST.
When we turned down the road, we started to realize that maybe this place isn't exactly what we thought it was. We pulled in and saw 2 people outside a truck, basically all over each other. They soon left after we pulled into a tiny little parking lot and got out.
It was PITCH BLACK. I'm talking, NO light. It was a full moon, but there was basically nothing to show for it because of the thick woods blocking the light. I pulled out my camera, put my lens on, and got to work taking some shots.
Oddly enough, the lens would auto-focus in and out but it would refuse to take shots half of the time, which only ever happened one other time in the time i've used it, and that was when I was taking a shot of a treeline thing at the haunted railroad tracks (shane rd.) last week. It kept focusing in and out, like it was trying to hone in on something that wasn't there.
We walked into the park (there was a no trespassing sign for after sunset for a fine of $500 but we didnt care, we drove an hour to get there.)
We walked down the road and I continued to ATTEMPT to get shots with my camera, to varying degrees of success. Most of the time the red eye would flash on what it would attempt to focus on, and then nothing would happen because it would keep trying to focus on something that wasn't there.
By this point we were both pretty shook up, and we felt some presence watching us. We heard clicking and clacking noises (might be hooves?) and we pressed on into the woody area onto a bridge where I attempted to get a shot of the water to no avail.
We pressed even further in and I even managed to get my camera to get some pretty mediocre shots of signs and such.
(When I say it wouldnt take pictures, I dont mean it took blurry ones, I mean it wouldnt take them AT ALL.)
A pickup, like the one before, showed up, and pulled in front of the gate we jumped over and just sat there for a good minute or two, then left. Close call for us, because we thought we were caught.
After a few more minutes of this, S started to freak out. As I was taking a shot of a sign, she started becoming visibly stressed.
The following is a transcript of our brief dialogue before turning tail and BOOKING it out of that park and speeding away back home. (Not EXACTLY accurate, but the important details are there.)
S: C, we need to leave, NOW.
C: It's fine, just chill, my camera just started working, lemme get a few more shots and then we can leave, because this place is creeping me out too.
S: Come on we gotta go, I feel something watching us.
C: It's probably an animal, or it could be a skin(.... word cuts off here as the superstition is that you shouldn't say it. Normally I wouldn't care but for this place, damn if I wasn't gonna follow that rule.)
After I responded to her, she jumped and we BOTH heard breathing INCHES from our ears. We both looked at each other and booked it as fast as we could out of that park, hopped in the car, and headed home.
While this story might sound like complete and utter bullshit to you, I assure you 100% of it is true with no exaggeration.
The pictures I took (12 of them on camera, one on phone - though i'm not sure where one of the camera pictures went) and a video are all stored on a google drive link I will leave in the comments, as I'm not sure about this sub's rules on links, and I don't want to have to completely re-write this post.
TL;DR Today I fucked up by going into a haunted place and probably pissing off like 50 skinwalkers, PLUS almost being caught by park rangers. I'm totally haunted now.
AllanfromWales1: > ..a skin(.... word cuts off here as the superstition is that you shouldn't say it.
Then in the TL;DR
> ..and probably pissing off like 50 skinwalkers
Oh well, that's you fucked.
CDriveChase: I said it in the TL;DR because I dont care to say it if I'm not in an area like that. I added those parentheses to show that I cut myself off in talking. And yes, most likely I am fucked LMAO
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1657801335 | 1657802230 | t3_vyul9g | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by saving a topless woman from drowning
[removed]
geefunken: Literally reads like a badly acted, 90s teen comedy movie.
SubtleName12: American Pie Presents: Pearl Necklace
| 3 | 5 | |
1657803586 | 1657819147 | t3_vyvbgq | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by faking fridge temperature recording logs at work.
[deleted]
NostradaMart: you're so fucking stupid, change jobs, people like you should NEVER handle food.
Blueroflmao: Normally id say this is harsh
But i wholly agree. These routines are there, and are strict for a reason. Dont fudge this shit because it can go very very badly if it does. I wouldnt want to be responsible for botulism or a brain eating bacteria/amoeba being spread to a few hundred customers.
This is a lucky TIFU because you seriously fucked up and got lucky with someone catching it in time.
Dont laugh this off, dont joke about it, and dont play it off like it wasnt serious. Learn from it, and do your fucking job from now.
Fit_Ad_7681: Outside of the serious health and safety concerns, if this hadn't been caught when it was, a whole bunch of food would need thrown away. Not only is that a waste of money, but a waste in general.
Blueroflmao: Yep. Let us please not ignore the fact that this is in fact a serious fuck up and shouldnt be laughed about.
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1657804333 | 1657813811 | t3_vyvkxo | t5_2to41 | 156 | Houseton: TIFU by having a spicy bowl of cereal and milk
This just happened. I'm eating a fiber cereal to keep myself regular, yay older age, as I have has issues in the past with it, but it's dreadfully boring on the tongue so I drizzled some local honey on it. Now the honey in question comes from wildflowers so it is very aromatic and sweet. My thought was a little cinnamon on it could counterbalance the flavour profile (not that I know what that is, but cinnamon and sugar go together so I thought honey and cinnamon would too).
I'm cheap and buy cinnamon already ground, which comes in a resealable bag. I usually use old spice jars to make it easier to put on or in food as pinching it is messy.
I grab the jar that I thought contained it. I know that cinnamon can be overpowering so I only lightly sprinkled it on my cereal. I thank my past self for that. Turns out, that the jar in question was cayenne pepper not cinnamon. It's morning and I'm not fully awake and it looked about the right colour in the dim light.
I grew up poor so I don't waste food if I can help it.
I can still feel the spice on my tongue writing this.
TL;DR
Accidentally put cayenne pepper in my cereal this morning thinking it was cinnamon, mouth still warmer than a Louisiana summer.
wherethebicenroam: If you're not expecting it, I can definitely see how that would throw you off.
I actually put spicy honey on my fiber cereal!
jrandoboi: Is that something sold in stores or do you do something to make it spicy?
wherethebicenroam: You can definitely make your own, but [I actually get mine through Heatonist](https://heatonist.com/collections/h1v1m1/products/nugget-honey?_pos=2&_sid=f63309211&_ss=r).
It's got a jarring price tag, but I think it's worth it.
Noodleeeeeter: Oh son of a whore I miss that place.
wherethebicenroam: Yeah, I was a monthly subscriber for a while. Stocked up on sauces and still have unopened ones.
That Nugget Honey is stuff of legends, though.
| 6 | 26 | |
1657806280 | 1657884196 | t3_vyw94h | t5_2to41 | 4 | Muted-Ad-6567: TIFU by telling my friends gf to “quit overreacting”
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sacco645: You honestly don't sound fun to play with.
Muted-Ad-6567: We only took building materials, not any guns or actually good stuff just building materials.
sacco645: Stop trying to justify stealing from your friends. Raids aren't a core part of the game. They're a core part of public servers. To bring that into a private one with friends that clearly didn't want it and you guys didn't discuss it beforehand.
Your fuckup wasn't that you admitted to doing it or anything like that. Your fuckup was raiding a friend.
Muted-Ad-6567: We weren’t even good friends, plus raiding was allowed by the rule on the server
sacco645: It doesn't matter if you're good friends. If raiding was allowed that's a slightly different story. Still if you were the only ones raiding people, you come off as an assembly. Especially if you act pompous about it.
Your fuckup wasn't telling someone to stop overreacting. It was being a dick. Learn and move forward instead of trying to justify it to yourself.
Muted-Ad-6567: I only told her to stop overreacting and she used race insults, if I’m a dick for raiding she’s higher up on the scale.
sacco645: You hadn't said that before, so it seems fishy to bring it up now. Not saying I don't believe you, but it's suspect.
Justifying your own bad actions with someone else's still isn't acceptable. Take personal accountability, especially when you're the instigator.
Muted-Ad-6567: Yeah yeah.
| 9 | 0.444444 | |
1657808767 | 1657813842 | t3_vyx5ty | t5_2to41 | 15 | iKickel: TIFU, I am being blackmailed by a random instagram account.
Okay so first off I know I am an idiot. I couldn’t help it I’m a horny dip-shit. So just like other people that this has happened to. They DM you on instagram and want to talk and then it moves quickly to Snapchat as they are asking for a dick and sending you nudes. (Saying they will not screen shot you and you stupidly agree.)
They then comeback so fucking fast that they are going to send the pictures of your dick your whole friend list and make you go viral, unless you send them 500$. My heart hasn’t dropped so fast before. I ended up obliging with money, but since I am a recent college grad and still looking for work, I have no money to pay.
So, I obliged with paying them 45$, worth of bitcoin, of which I randomly scraped together. The person must really believe me because they moved the conversation to Telegram an app like WhatsApp. They have a phone number connected to the account and they sent me their bitcoin block chain address to send the money to.
So I am not a complete idiot. I looked up the block chain and have some information. They are still pursuing money from me and I still do not know what to do. Do I call an FBI company with this block chain information, they have made over 17,000 doing this shit. I want to help the next horny idiot out and get this person dealt with. They keep saying the company needs this money.
TL;DR: I am in need of any help. I have a US phone number for the instagram account and a bitcoin block chain number/account. Can anyone help me out, I don’t really know what to do.
dechtera2: Just wow,
No no one is going to help you retrieve crypto lol.
Also pretty sure this has been posted before too.
iKickel: I know it’s been posted there was just not many helpful information. I just don’t know if someone can like get the account info. Idk I’m just looking for help
NostradaMart: no, you're fucked. accept the loss.
iKickel: Cheers
| 5 | 3 | |
1657809049 | 1657844176 | t3_vyx9s0 | t5_2to41 | 22,246 | Noir_A_Mous: Tifu by unhinging my jaw while eating in front of a coworker
So my body is kinda weird, I'm double jointed in many areas of my body. I'm double jointed in my fingers, toes, wrists and, you guessed it, jaw. This let's me unhinge my jaw with a slightly audible poping sound when I do. I also dont have much of a gag reflex and grew up in a household where whoever finished last has to do the dishes so I'm also a fast eater, using my strange body to more or less just swallow food so I wouldn't half to do the dishes. This was normal for me until I started dating and learned that to some people it's actually quite unsettling to see.
However even though I try not to eat like this in public I will still eat like this when I'm at home, with people I know or if I think I'm alone.
So at my work I usually take lunches later than everyone else and thus I'm usually by myself when I eat. UNTIL one of my coworkers had taken a later lunch than even me, shes a gal I had gotten along with for a while however she had come in while I was in the process of STARTING to shove my 8inch, fully packed, extra meatball sub sandwich into my gaping maw. With an audible pop my jaw unhinged and she just stood there, not making a noise, watching as I just packed this sandwich into my mouth like some sorta demented serpent in human skin. I didnt notice her until I had already gotten the sub more than halfway in my mouth. We made eye contact and just stared at each other, I felt like a little kid caught with his hand stuck in the cookie jar until she just walked out of the break room.
It's been over a week and she still won't look me in the eyes and barely speaks to me.
TL;DR: I unknowingly unhinged my jaw in front of a coworker while eating food, now she barely talks or even looks at me after seeing it.
Edit: wow theres a lot of ya jumping on this, a couple thing really quick.
1. I do chew my food, not always as well as I should but I do chew it. I promise to chew it better from now on.
2. I'm not doing a video, I'm not comfortable showing my face and the last person who was a little too excited about what I swallow had a particular fetish that started with a v that I'm not into!
3. Some of yall are very kind and it's nice to see that yall care about a stranger so much. I promise to talk to a doctor as soon as I'm able, might not be soon cause I'm not in a place with free healthcare and these gas prices are insane.
Edit 2: This got a LOT of traction for some reason. Some of y'all have been greatly concerned about my well being and even sent a thing to reddit about it. I'm alright my dudes, I honestly didn't know this was really a problem or could be a sign of something dangerous. I'm alright dudes and I promise I'll go to the doctors as soon as I'm able and get checked out.
1. Some of yall have been really kind with your suggestions and support. I promise I'll get checked out.
2. As some of you pointed out double jointed isnt a thing, I didnt know that, it's just what my family's always called it so I just kinda assumed that's what it was.
3. I'm going to be muting this cause I walked away from it and I've got over 200 notifications, to those of you I didnt reply to I'm sorry.
PS: I hope you all have a great day and btw I'm totally not a snake man guys.
FlamingButterfly: Dude you gotta stop eating food so quickly, your digestive system will start to hate you.
Noir_A_Mous: You're probably right but it's hard to break a habit
FlamingButterfly: While being able to deep throat an 8 inch meatball sub is impressive your digestive system won't agree in the future.
Noir_A_Mous: That explains my ibs a bit
Vast_Reflection: Ahh, so your body already has started to rebel. I’d talk to your doctor about this.
Noir_A_Mous: Nah I've had ibs since I was really little, my guts have always been sensitive to certain foods and I get gassy easily, though eating like this probably doesnt help
FlamingButterfly: Still would be best to cover all of your bases, swallowing food without chewing it properly can create its own issues down the road.
Noir_A_Mous: Thank you internet stranger!
FlamingButterfly: It's best to not ignore health issues, while it is normal to hope that by ignoring problems they will go away it never works. At least try to cut it down to 2 inches at a time of an 8 inch sub and properly chew your food, it might do you well to have a more restrained way of consuming food. And you're welcome dude, I hope after this day I never have to talk about deep throating an 8 inch meatball sub.
Angdrambor: I'm just astounded at the number of strangers who have come out of the woodwork to lecture OP on his eating habits.
FlamingButterfly: Deep throating 8 inch meatball subs can become rough on your body.
Angdrambor: Who are you trying to convince? This thing is obvious to everyone, including OP.
FlamingButterfly: I was just bored at work and felt like making the comment again, no need to be a stick in the mud.
Angdrambor: No need to clutter the comments with harassment of OP.
| 15 | 1,483.066667 | |
1657811564 | 1657812408 | t3_vyy8ah | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu by wearing a robe
[deleted]
CountrySax: twigs n berries for lunch
wildadragon: That's for breakfast, meat and potatoes for lunch
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1657813018 | 1657814280 | t3_vyysgb | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: Tifu by sending a dancing girl gif to my class
[deleted]
Deadknickers: Just say, “whoops sorry wrong link, that was meant for brother/sister/cousin/friend/whatever, here’s the proper link”
I personally would just find it funny and not say anything, but I’m an introvert and overly polite. Others will find it funny and probably comment but if you don’t make a big thing of it I’m sure they’ll not be bothered
boniemonie: This is the way I would play it!
| 3 | 2 | |
1657812219 | 1657833646 | t3_vyyhcd | t5_2to41 | 8 | Zyrocks: TIFU by cutting my GF's ear
[removed]
anca21m: With a snowball? How was the cut?
JMochs23: It likely wasn't so much a snowball as it was an iceball. When you spend time making the 'perfect throwing snowball' you end up glazing over the outside of it and then it becomes a very dangerous projectile
Ocean_Spice: For real, I don’t think people realize how bad snowballs can actually hurt. Especially anywhere near your face.
| 4 | 2 | |
1657812963 | 1657815772 | t3_vyyrpb | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by slapping ass.
[deleted]
LordBruschetta: You MIL wants you.
Rover267: How
LordBruschetta: I don't know
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1657813620 | 1657835596 | t3_vyz0k3 | t5_2to41 | 1,190 | The13Beast: TIFU by killing a mosquito on my wife's face
This was actually years ago but I just read a story that reminded me of it so here we are.
My wife and I were walking through my parents' garden and talking about what we were going to do about our little dog's health problems. I look over and there's a mosquito on her face so I (gently yet firmly) smash it before it bites her because 1) she's terrified of bugs in general and 2) has very sensitive skin so a mosquito bite would be a huge mark for days right on her face. Well, as soon as I smash the bug she looks at me, eyes wide, and reaches up and touches her cheek. That's when I realized that we were disagreeing about something and, from her perspective, I just smacked her in the face! All I could say was "NO NO NO NO! MOSQUITO!" Thankfully she quickly realized that made more sense and started laughing.
TL;DR Killed a mosquito on my wife's cheek during a mild disagreement and for a few seconds she thought I smacked her.
Ill_Interaction_9621: This happened to me before and she completely missed the mosquito and did not hold back on the slap. Boy, was I livid 😅
AlmostChristmasNow: Are you sure that there was a mosquito at all?
Ill_Interaction_9621: Oh yeah we were outside when it happened, so at least I saw one flying around me. I don't think it was intentional though
| 4 | 297.5 | |
1657816620 | 1657880211 | t3_vz07e6 | t5_2to41 | 351 | BreakfastStrict6204: TIFU by accidentally giving myself an enema at the lake
I'm using a spare because I'm still so embarrassed over this entire thing. Okay I know the title is a bit out there but trust me it is so much worse than you could imagine. This happened a week ago at the time of writing and no I'm still not okay.
I (19 F) decided to join my family in going to the lake over the weekend. The entire way up I was telling my brother's girlfriend how excited I was that I convinced my parents to bring up the tube so we can go towed tubbing around the lake. This as I would soon learn would be a huge mistake.
The first day went fine, we swam, went diving, fishing, and all that fun stuff. The second day started off simple enough, breakfast on the shore fishing off the boat it was nice. Once packed up we decided to head out for activities that I would soon come to regret. Airing up the tube those of us who were planning on getting on in rotation (only allows 2 people at a time) were getting ready, putting on sunscreen, finding life jackets that fit, and taking off jewelry and sunglasses. I was ready, I love going tubing it was so much fun, sure you are sore for a few days after but what could go wrong? Everything. The exchange student and I were the first to go up on the tube, I was giving him a few pointers at first since it was his first time and my dad's only goal with that tube is to put both people in the water. We went 3 times together, I managed to hold on for dear life the first 2 times while that poor kid went flying, it was like watching someone jump out of a moving plane, he was having fun and we were all laughing throwing up the flag and going to retrieve him. The third time however I could tell my dad was frustrated I managed to hold on the last 2 times and he wanted to get me in the water. This part is mostly a blur to me, it all happened so fast, kicking up the speed and making the turns sharper knocks us sideways, the tube flipped and we both went flying. While the exchange student landed as harmlessly as you can for hitting the water at 40 miles an hour I did not, the pain was unimaginable, my swim bottoms gave me the worse wedgy of my life it felt like the force and fire of a thousand suns hit my butthole and at the same time, it felt full which I didn't understand still I was standing on the boat again. All I remember while getting back on the boat is my butthole felt like it was on fire and I loudly announced that over and over again, once the adrenaline ran out about 5 minutes later it hit me. I needed to go to the nearest bathroom. I could tell something was wrong as I clenched my cheeks as if my life depended on it. They all laughed at me until my mom could see the cry for help in my eyes and that something was wrong and that's when she said," Did you give yourself an enema?" I could feel my face drop, cheeks clenched, as realization washed over me. I hit the water so hard and in just the wrong way the lake water was inside me. Panicked I could feel myself losing strength in the battle to keep the literal shit storm back, begging my dad to hurry back to the marina for the bathroom. Sara without realizing what happened was excited, she said she would join me to go pee. I sent her a text telling her what happened and that I'm losing strength, I could see her face drop in horror as she read that text. Once at the marina I sprinted for the bathrooms which luckily had no lines, 2 occupied and 1 out of order, as soon as one of those doors opened up I shot in there, with no care in the world, locking myself in it was like opening a flood gate, it was a horrible feeling, the cherry on top of it all is the fact I'm lactose intolerant and had twice my daily allowance of dairy before this entire incident. The entire rest of the trip I was too scared to go back on the tube, the one thing I wanted and begged for, I had to clean my bottoms in the sink after all and they were white, and until I reached home I hadn't realized that not only did I get an enema with lake water but that I ripped my butthole. It wasn't a large amount of blood but enough blood to make me realize why everything hurt so much. I'm still recovering, I did get pretty sick the first few days after the incident and I still feel some discomfort when sitting and such but that's my story on how I fucked up.
&#x200B;
TLDR: I have the worse luck and managed to hit the water in just the wrong way to not only get water up my booty but to rip my booty as well
EDIT: Guys I promise my dad isn't an asshole, he did apologize and didn't mean for anything like this to happen (obviously) he feels bad about it but I promise he's not a bad boater we all just wanted to have fun.
EilEirAvt: You saw a Dr to make sure you didn't get an infection or parasite from the lake right? Someone died from a parasite in an Iowa lake recently, make sure your safe
twotall88: [https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/iowa-beach-closes-visitor-infected-life-threatening-brain-eating-amoeb-rcna37575](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/iowa-beach-closes-visitor-infected-life-threatening-brain-eating-amoeb-rcna37575)
as of 3 days ago they have not died. But, there are only 5 known cases that survived the brain eating amoeba.
Fishwithadeagle: The chances of you getting naegleria fowleri is quite small, and would come from water up the nose, not the bum
twotall88: I know, I was just responding to u/EilEirAvt for stating that someone died from it in an Iowa lake recently. They aren't dead as of 3 days ago.
EilEirAvt: My local news reported on it wrong then when talking about lake dangers (where I live all our lakes are apparently becoming infected with a deadly algae, we knew it was in 1 lake but as of recent its begun to spread and its killed multiple animals and made people sick)
But the main point would be, you never know what lives in the water so stay safe.
twotall88: I grew up in Iowa in the 90's, what you're describing is nothing new. I remember being barred from swimming in local lakes all across Southwest and Southcentral Iowa every few years because of excess levels of cyanobacteria (blue-green algae).
It sucks but that's part of life when you have poor sewage and farm fertilizer management in runoff water.
| 7 | 50.142857 | |
1657818540 | 1657834682 | t3_vz0yhr | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by ignoring my friends of 10 years+?
[deleted]
bowlofjello: Be an adult and talk to them again. What’s the point of losing friends over literally nothing.
MyFutureAhead: What do u mean "literally nothing". The could have gotten into dangerous situation, drunk girls alone in downtown. Friends don't abandon like this.
bowlofjello: Blame drunk people for not taking care of other drunk people? It sounds like OP walked to another bar so how does she know she wasn’t the one that left everyone else?
OP can’t get upset for situations she puts herself in. Unless someone has already agreed to be the DD/ keep an eye on everyone I wouldn’t get shitfaced while going out because I don’t trust other drunk friends to keep me safe.
And then to play the silent treatment with people who probably have no idea she’s upset about anything is wild to me.
If you want to do adult activities like going out to bar hop you have to do the adult thing and be responsible for yourself because obviously others won’t be.
Maybe that’s just what I’ve learned myself living in a largely populated and dangerous city as a young woman. Idk. Gotta learn it sometime I suppose.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1657821969 | 1657845977 | t3_vz29wo | t5_2to41 | 37 | Jaybird_arts: TIFU by setting my father's pastor on fire
Edit: i messed up a word. Happens to me sometimes but pasture is the word i meant.
This didn't actually happened today but it hasn't been 24 hours so yeah. As the titles suggests a fire started in the pastor. So i am aware i started the fire but it was a complete accident. Let me walk you through it.
Every two weeks i have to take trash out to the burn pit. Do to the dogs going to trash pit and ripping trash up and dragging it to the front yard we had to light the trash and watch it. We have to watch it for 20 minutes to make sure it doesnt spread. Which i did. It wasnt windy at all so once it got to that point where if i left it alone nothing would happen. Right?
I went to do other stuff. Water the dogs at the cabin that is a mile away because it is a hot and they drink a lot of water. Then when i got home i went inside and the power went out. I let out a big sigh and went back outside to figure out if the breaker flipped off or if a storm was coming. (Where i live if a storm is near power goes out. I dont know why it does that it just does) then when i walked to the breaker i saw a orangeish hue lighting the the side of the house. My first thought was "wait is that the fire? Shouldnt it be out by now?" And i walk around the house to see the pastor is on fire. Not a bad fire but bad enough to send a panick. I was freaking out because i had have to run back and forth to the outdoor water source with a water cooler because we didnt have a hose. After 5 times doing that i came to some common sense and called 911. It took 2 hours for the fire fighters to get here and you can just imagine running back and forth 15 times with a water cooler trying to keep the fire from reaching the house and trying to put out the bigger area of fire and nearly gettinh burned in the process not being fun. I had to call my dad after they got there and i sorta fucked up my phone sound in the process which i did get fixed by shoving it into rice afterwards.
I am now on fire ban and my dad is more or less disappointed in me. I still can't get over the fact he said "i am kinda glad you couldn't start the truck because i bet you would have crashed it into the house"
If you read all of this I want to state one finale thing before you go to jugde me for being irresponsible. At least I'm not my brother who did the same thing 11 years ago intentionally and when he came to his senses he just had a hose (we had one back then but not anymore) and way more on fire then i did and he didnt even bother calling 911. I do take accountability for what happened but besides my dad when i sat down to explain what happened they say its not completely my fault because it was just an unfortunate situation and i should just be glad i didnt get hurt in the process. They also said i should be glad the damage wasnt more then it was. Only about 2.5% of the pastor was on fire and just be clear our pastor is huge so 2.5% is a lot in my opinion.
TL;DR
[deleted]: Ohhhhh you mean pasture?
Setting a pastor on fire is kinda different lol.
Jaybird_arts: Thanks for pointing that out. I have a bad time spelling and mix up words sometimes with something else
[deleted]: No problem it was a funny. Just dont do it in real life!
| 4 | 9.25 | |
1657825844 | 1657842893 | t3_vz3qnk | t5_2to41 | 33,207 | OhmyGODZAZEZ: TIFU by accidentally facetiming my boss while deep in my wife's cheeks at 1am.....
[removed]
JohnDeere714: Ur not getting fired. He’s too scared
ukchinouk: He’s sat in his office trying to get the courage to ask for a three way
JohnDeere714: Trying to figure out a way to get the footage
ironroad18: "Come into my office and have a seat."
"On the one hand you showed me some totally inappropriate video of you. But on the other hand you have stamina and girth, just the type of man we need here at Johnson and Johnson."
JBaecker: Gonna be Johnson and Johnson…..and Johnson by tomorrow.
freshprinceoftheair: What about Johnson & Johnson’s Johnson?
gxddbou: …the hell do they make at this company!?
ItsGroovyBaby412: Jealous Husbands
| 9 | 3,689.666667 | |
1657829722 | 1657874161 | t3_vz3pbv | t5_2to41 | 8 | AnthonyDawnwalker: Oh he for sure won’t proposition me because I’m a guy also and we are both married! I’ve known him for almost a decade, hopefully he won’t mention it and we will just forgot it!
Devrij68: If I were your boss I would laugh my ass off and you'd never hear the end of it. I would get years, YEARS of fun out of it, and God have mercy on your soul if I ever got you for secret santa
HappyTimeHollis: Sounds like a sexual harassment case would be coming your way very quickly then.
Devrij68: In the UK we have a culture of ballbusting (commonly referred to as banter), and if I even got a hint that said colleague was genuinely not okay with having the piss taken out of them, I would immediately stop. I don't give a shit if my guys are out there hustling for some extra cash (I mean I like to think I take care of my team and push for raises so they don't need to, but extra money is extra money). It goes both ways and my guys would absolutely rinse me for anything embarrassing that happened to me (and would ensure it became a running joke).
That is something you can only do with good friends, which my team are. I wouldn't do it with a new hire or someone I didn't know well enough to have established their attitude towards the work environment and relationships therein.
So please don't assume I am some crass asshole because I posted an offhand comment on Reddit about how if I were the dudes boss I would have dispelled awkwardness with humour.
| 4 | 2 | |
1657828548 | 1657832967 | t3_vz4rs0 | t5_2to41 | 7 | xizzeyx: TIFU by driving over a green traffic light
For Context:
I (17F) got my license last week. I‘m from Germany and until turning 18, you must drive with a registered person above 30, who has their license for at least 5 years.
Since I don’t get to drive often (Mom works until 9pm, and that’s when my step-dad goes to work and needs the car) my mom wanted me to drive to our nearest supermarket which is maybe a five minute drive.
I drive and pull up to a intersection with a traffic light (we‘ll say TL1) which just turned red. So I stop and wait. 10m to 15m later there’s another traffic light (TL2) (for some reason) which is always switching at the same time as the one I‘m standing at.
After TL2 I need to turn right, so as TL1 turns green I signal right.
It didn’t have an arrow, so I needed to look out for cars in front of me. I looked, didn’t see anything and turned.
I‘m barely in my lane, when suddenly another car passes me, which already confused me for several reasons. (It was only one lane for that direction.)
Then someone honks at me, and a motorcyclist also drives up next to me, gives me a gesture like „wtf?“, pulls up before me, brakes and again does it.
At this point we‘re like 50m from the supermarket so I turn into the parking lot and I park there. Mom goes in and I wait in the car. I‘m at loss what I did wrong. I signaled, there was no one that had the right of way, and there was only one lane after turning. Even if I signaled left, I was on the right lane. I also considered if TL2 immediately turned red after I drove past TL1, which would have been 5 seconds at most. Mom also didn’t see anything I did wrong.
My mom comes back, I quit thinking and drive back. I then see the traffic light is turned off. (You can probably see where this is going.)
After the whole incident I immediately told my bf about it after pulling into the parking lot. I looked at the time I sent the message: 8:02pm.
The fucking traffic lights turned off seconds before I turned.
TL;DR: Traffic light turned green, then immediately turned off without me realizing it, resulting in me taking the right of way and almost causing an accident. Now I know why a last glance is so important.
AirExplosive: What do you mean by the lights turned off? Why would a traffic light be off?
xizzeyx: Lol in Germany they turn off at night in some places/corners, and we have signs which only count when lights are off
dirttoad: That sounds more efficient than keeping them on at night with lower traffic. Id assume it also helps with light pollution to an extent? Thanks for explaining!
marius7963: Everything true, but the moment it turns off is always a little risky
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1657830390 | 1657837011 | t3_vz5hen | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by underestimating how hot it was going to be inside the venue and passing out :/
[deleted]
Drink15: Weed and alcohol will dehydrate you. Even if you are not smoking or drinking, always bring water to a concert or buy some. I thought this was well known but I was wrong.
dumplingluvrr11: no yeah. i'm always on top of water and make sure my friends have it too. i usually bring water or have it at all times but it was cash only and none of us brought cash :/ everyone at the concert was either drunk or super high too
this is the first time i ever fainted at an event and my last forsure
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657822076 | 1657834710 | t3_vz2bd1 | t5_2to41 | 207 | rde42: TIFU by eating an ice lolly
This just happened. Not a major FU at all, but amusing.
I have been at home all day. It's hot, and I haven't been wearing a shirt. Keeping cool with fans and an ice cream and an ice lolly later on.
My wife arrived home and the first thing she said was "WHY do you have a big love bite on your neck?". Panic. I've been on my own all day, apart from my son WFH in his office.
I go look in the mirror. Yep. Large patch that looks like two love bites in a dumbbell shape, each part about 1.5cm across. The interesting thing was that it was symmetric about a fold in my neck; if I put my chin on my chest, the two halves matched up.
It was a stain that had doubled when I looked down. My strawberry ice lolly had somehow shed a small piece of coloured ice that had somehow rolled down my chin and onto my neck.
I got a piece of dampened kitchen roll and scrubbed. It eventually came off. The downside was that there was a small spot hiding there, and I lopped the top off it. Blood everywhere; I am sitting here with a load of bloodstained tissues, but I think it's stopped now.
TL;DR: dropped a piece of ice lolly on my neck, wife thought the stain was a love bite. Scrubbed it and bled extensively.
Trick-Landscape5581: Ouch. I think at that point I would probably just wash it off in the shower.
rde42: It didn't bleed until the stain was off. Didn't realize how much effort it needed.
| 3 | 69 | |
1657834332 | 1657900364 | t3_vz70el | t5_2to41 | 2,166 | claraboldlygoes: TIFU by telling someone to have a great day.
Obligatory this wasn’t today, but rather several months ago.
I live in the South in the USA and am a manager in a restaurant. The owner of our restaurant like managers to speak to every guest who comes in, which is difficult considering it’s a large, popular place. So I have my normal routine, I ask how everything is, inquire about a dish and see if they like it and then say have a great day. Specifically, if it’s a group of men or mixed gender folks I say, “Have a great day, guys!” (Gender neutral). If it’s a group of just ladies, I say, “Have a great day, ladies.”
Normally it doesn’t go much further than that. Not every customer wants to chit chat, which is fine with me.
Well on this day, I was speaking with two ladies who were very clearly a couple and they were just having a great time and loved everything, so I returned to my customary exit line, “Have a great day, ladies!”
Except that’s not what I said. Instead, I mixed the two options together and somehow said, “Have a great day, gays!” In an extremely cheerful voice.
I absolutely panicked and smiled and they (thankfully) misheard me, I think, because they happily said, “You, too!” And I power walked away.
This was months ago, but it still haunts me, lol.
EDIT: Just to be clear, I do say “ya’ll” and “folks” and “everybody” and “you guys” and “gentlemen” and all kinds of stuff. I talk to a lot of people. And I have been trying to stick to “y’all” more often since this. Just sometimes you talk to your eighth table in about 10 minutes and your mouth goes haywire.
TL;DR: Instead of saying goodbye like a normal human, I told a lesbian couple to “Have a great day, gays!”
PavlovzDogs: This is some calling your teacher mum or dad type shit. Love it.
jbrew1192: Did this twice. Once when I was young, second time I was in High School. She was a younger, very attractive, AP World Lit teacher, she told the class to do something, I said, “yes mom” she asked me to repeat myself, so seductively, while biting lip I said “I said, Yes, Mommy.” She turned tomato red, got super flustered. We had a talk after class, that regardless of how funny it was, it was inappropriate. I apologized and unfortunately, nothing else happened and I went about my day.
thermight: But this is how you own it.
jbrew1192: I’m all about owning my mistakes
thermight: During the 'talk' it would have been incredible if you just flatly said "No offence Teacher, I wasn't even trying to flirt... I slipped and had to cover it up. Sorry you were just fodder" LOL
jbrew1192: no, I definitely was trying to flirt😂😂 it was my senior year, she was only like 21, not a huge age gap, I used the mistake as a door opener, but it got shut, basically said if I wasn’t a student, the chance would've been there tho😂
thermight: haha, well when opportunity presents itself...
| 8 | 270.75 | |
1657819045 | 1657890968 | t3_vz15e0 | t5_2to41 | 22 | Rosesreallysmellike: TIFU by eating bad tacos
Okay I know what you’re thinking. “Haha food poisoning so funny 🙄” this story is soo much more than that, just stick with me.
The taco place across from my work knows I like the more unique tacos (lingua, tripas, etc) so they always have something like that as a special because we go a few times a week.
I won’t say I haven’t gotten sick in the past, but they’re damn good tacos so I always go back. Yesterday I think I finally met my match.
We literally haven’t even buckled our seatbelts when the rumbling starts. My brother just looks at me and says I have to walk back if I even think about doing anything. I rumble more but make it back to work, and then I stand up. The floodgates literally let loose and I am lucky that I grab my shorts in time to catch everything.
All the other guys are out at lunch so I waddle to the bathroom to dispose of the evidence (boxers only thank goodness!) only to find every single trashcan on my way absolutely full. Thinking fast I grab some plastic wrap from the shipping department and bundle everything up nice and tight.
As I’m heading to the back to throw my ball of shame in the dumpster all of the guys start heading inside. As casually as I can, I Kobe that dishonorable ball into the dumpster and hear the *worst* splat you can imagine. Every head turns to look at the EMPTY dumpster and sees the plastic ball completely unravel like a blossoming flower, my offense on full display. I had to come home early.
I almost had to take my pregnant wife to the ER because I made her laugh so hard she started having mild contractions.
TLDR; I ate bad tacos and tried to hid my accident from my coworkers only for everything that happened to be on display.
Scottsman2237: I’m imagining the crème pie splat from old cartoons.
Rosesreallysmellike: Since the dumpster was empty it literally sounded EXACTLY like a pie splat. I was expecting a thud, throughly disappointed.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1657838389 | 1657846640 | t3_vz8k66 | t5_2to41 | 2 | TheHandsomeBoby: TIFU by prank-calling a pizzeria without knowing the cashier was a hacker
This weird story happened about 4 years ago.
When I was 12 years old, I had a wonderful day. I got my math exam result, and I got a pretty good mark, I found 50 bucks on my way back home, and overall, I just felt amazing that day. Even a little bit cocky. I thought it would be funny to prank call a local pizzeria (and afterwards cancel the order). Worth to mention that you had to go there and get your pizzas, after ordering by the phone. As I finished I laughed really hard, because I didn't expect my voice to sound natural.
After 30 minutes, the same number called me again. Here's our conversation:
Cashier: "Hello? am I talking with \*my full name\*"
Me: "Y... yes, who are you and how do you know my name?"
Cashier: "It doesn't matter yet. Do you think it's funny to prank local pizzerias? "
Me (tried to play it cool and act like I didn't order a pizza): "No, I don't think it's funny. Why do you ask though?"
Cashier: "Are you sure you didn't order 3 pizzas as \*fake name\*? You should pick them up, your house at \*my street name\* is pretty close"
Me: "Uhhh, but I didn't order anything"
Cashier: "Alright, enough games. Let me talk to your mom \*my mom's name\*"
I handed my phone to my mom, they talked for 10 minutes, and then my mom hung up.
She looked pretty mad and asked me to get dressed and get the pizzas. Luckily I chose a quite cheap pizza store, so I didn't pay as much as I expected to pay.
For the next two weeks, I ate only pizza, until I finished it all.
I still don't know how he got all of that information about me and my parents, but since then I stopped underestimating the power of the internet.
TL;DR: I prank-called a pizzeria without knowing the cashier (that answered my phone) was a hacker. He somehow found my (personal) phone number, full name, and my parent's information, and threatened to call the police if I didn't pay for the pizzas.
Lord-Wombat: None of this shit happened and you know it
TheHandsomeBoby: I'm dead serious about it. It's not that rare or hard to be a hacker
NostradaMart: actually it is THAT rare and THAT hard to be a hacker. you don't know what you're talking about.
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1657839226 | 1657840593 | t3_vz8v8l | t5_2to41 | 1 | NickTheNack: TIFU by eating chicken wings
Heres the story of the most wild thursday in my life. Obligatory not today, was last year.
Anyways, i worked at a resturant in the kitchen and decided to have some wings for dinner. Bout an hour later we are closing up and im feeling a little bubble gut coming on. I keep closing and just out of no where, i sneeze. I immediately realize the mistake, standing there wide eyed with the only thought being "oh no". i straight up shat in my shorts. i run off to the bathroom to clear the rest of my system, clean up, and throw my boxers in the trash. As im leaving the bathroom with trashbag in hand, my sous chef comes up like "what you got there", so i have to explain to him that i dont care what he says, im going home cause i shit myself. he gets a good laugh and lets me leave.
i get home, shower, change, all that good stuff. when i check my phone i see a text from my ex, the classic "wyd". im feeling better so i just tell her i just got home. she says she got stood up for a date and was at the bar, pretty buzzed, and horny. being a guy, i head right over. we have some drinks, then went back to her place for some good ol american fun.
tldr, ate wings, shit pants, got caught with a bag full of shitty shorts, got laid
CorrosiveAlkonost: Are you on good terms with your ex?
NickTheNack: We were at the time
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1657840015 | 1657865129 | t3_vz95rh | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my hook ups age.
[deleted]
snoozyd00zy: I mean it would be fine if you were like 30 and he was 26 but you guys are in different stages of your life even if it’s only 4 years apart so idk
Nelmeow: Thissss is what makes it weird for me. I'm a whole adult paying taxes, getting a teacher job, and just being an adult. At 19 I was partying all the time in college and had no responsibilities other than school. To me, this guy is still a kid to me despite looking every inch of a man so it breaks my heart that I like him so much.
CrimsonAvenger35: That's just basic shit that you're doing. In what ways do you assume a 19 year old isn't capable of those things just because you weren't?
Nelmeow: Dang meanie, I never said he wasn't capable, all i said was we're in different life stages and he's young and impressionable
CrimsonAvenger35: I think you're both probably learning what it is to be an adult more than you realize
| 6 | 0.666667 | |
1657840511 | 1657923861 | t3_vz9cgx | t5_2to41 | 6 | Delicious-Ladder-365: Tifu by ruining a friendship
Recently life has been the worst it ever has for me. I've been having suicidal thoughts almost every day. I have 3 really close friends who i've been going to throughout all of this. Recently i've noticed them distancing themselves, which I understand. I've been taking a lot of my problems out on them. I thought they gave up on me. So I thought it would be a good idea to show them how bad I really needed them. I sent a photo of my badly deep cut arm to a group-chat with them. One of
my friends in there had previously told me that the topic of cutting is a really sensitive topic to her. I never should've sent that photo. Its the most selfish fucked up thing I could've done. They are all upset with me, which I completely understand. They have told me they forgive me, but I can't even forgive myself for this. I really messed up.
TL;DR I sent a photo of my cut arm to a group-chat, and I think it ruined some friendships.
crowleyoccultmaster: You definitely need help, but I wouldn't involve those people anymore your actions have been way out of line. Idk where you currently live, but I'd recommend admitting yourself to a mental hospital if that is a viable option.
Alberta_Flyfisher: Admittance or at the very least find a therapist.
I agree. OP needs to stop laying baggage on their friends and find professional help.
Those friends will be there in the end. And really if they aren't, they weren't good friends to begin with. Thing is, friends can only be supportive to a certain degree. They didn't sign up to be a therapist or a head doctor of any kind. They simply care. But there WILL be a breaking point.
So OP, let your friends support you. But don't rely on them to keep your head straight. It's unfair to them, you won't get what you need from it and eventually no matter how caring or supportive said friends are, they will distance themselves from you eventually.
Self harming and suicidal thoughts aren't anything to be ignored or played down. Go find the help you need, PLEASE. Too many people decide not to get help and they either wind up dead, or living a life with no positives. Both are equally sad outcomes.
OP. I challenge you to give us an update 6 months from now and let us know how you are getting along.
| 3 | 2 | |
1657840806 | 1657926161 | t3_vz9gac | t5_2to41 | 121 | Shot_Barracuda9521: tifu i think i ruined my brothers lives
So today me and my step-dad were arguing over petty things and it kept going for a while eventually he got physical and things went south (im not hurt) he said he is moving out but i dont know what is going on. If he moves out i dont know how my brothers are going to react and how my mother is going to cope with the situation. We dont have lots of money as it is and now we are going to have alot less. I dont know if my brother are going to accept what happens as it is or if they are going to take it all out on me. I also dont know if they are going to turn out like me and have to struggle with things becaise of separated parents. I am currently staying with my dad but i dont know what is going to happen at home. If anyone has any advise please share it because im scared and crying right now.
tl;dr
ExploringMiSexuality: Hey little bro,
You're not completely alone. Many of us experienced this sort of thing growing up. Please don't put this on yourself. It's not your fault, your parents are responsible for their own actions, and that includes your step dad.
It's not particularly normal to be physically violent with other people, despite what we see online and on television. It's better to talk and understand each other, especially with people who should care for each other.
I'm sorry you're suffering, it won't always be this way. Do you have any teachers you get on with well? I know it sounds scary because you don't want to cause trouble, but if you're having a hard time I'd suggest talking to a teacher you can trust. Explain what's happening, say you don't want to cause trouble, tell the teacher about what's happening at home. I know they sometimes can appear like annoying old people, but teachers are human too. They often care more about you than you will ever realise.
laroo28: Teachers are mandatory reporters for any kind of abuse so saying you don't we any to cause problems won't necessarily work.
ExploringMiSexuality: Pick your arguments man, sometimes you should keep your mouth shut because you're harming people.
| 4 | 30.25 | |
1657842127 | 1658102385 | t3_vz9x0s | t5_2to41 | 7 | bumbleblast: Tifu by getting written up on my first week for the absolute dumbest reason
So I work in a juice shop, I’m new, and my manager asks me to get cut mangoes from the walk in freezer, next to the peaches. So I go into it, and I’m completely lost, Which one is the mangoes and which one is the peaches??? They looked pretty similar and aren’t specifically labeled. So now I’m panicking.
Do I go and ask my manager which is which??
Do I just wing it and hope for the best??
I decided not to do either… I thought it would be too embarrassing to tell my manager I didn’t know what cut mangoes look like, so instead I get out my phone and search up “what do cut frozen mangoes look like”. And just then my manager enters the freezer and sees me on my phone to what she thinks is me texting, I try to explain myself and they get more mad and threaten to send me home. So I just quietly accept my write up in my first week at work. FML seriously
TLDR: I didn’t know what cut mangoes look like and my manager catches me searching it up, she thinks I’m texting. And it’s too embarrassing to tell her I was looking up mangoes. Gets yelled at trying to explain myself
HonestCup20: lol you must be a teen.. and had the "oh shit" look on your face for literally doing your job. you probably looked guilty AF. I'm 36, if she walked in on me looking up cut mango's to see what they looked like, i would of looked at her when she walked in and said "yah, i know it's taking longer than expected boss, i'm seriously looking up what cut mango's look like, i have no fucking clue and i didn't want to bring you peaches. plus i don't see a label on any of these boxes." this would of stopped your write up and been honest, and probably would of got a laugh out of them as you don't know what to look for as a noob.. but now you're just going to be seen as a person who's trying to find alone time to text and avoid work.. you'll have to try and change that image around in the future, be a good worker and just immediately ask if you don't know, easy as that. nothing wrong with not knowing something you're new at.
bumbleblast: I know. I feel horrible because now I’m gonna be seen as a terrible employee and my managers will be on my ass about everything, she emailed all other managers too, it was/is awful
HonestCup20: she probably HAD to email them. it's something every company has, it's probalby a policy that all write ups are then shared with other managers. so they all know whats going on, esp if they are employee swapping for manning isseus.. smaller companies with staff shortages have to do stuff like this all the time, so there can't be any secrets about which staff memebers are slackers, or can't open/close, or smoke pot out back and smell like weed all the time, those who are late all the time, or "sick" all the time, or you know, the ones that are rare - completely reliable (can be called on a minutes notice, who can be trusted with keys to open/close on time, cash out registers on their own, keep working when nobody is watching, and simply put: manager material). but to be honest these type of jobs are just stepping stools to get to a good paying future job that has real benefits and pay scaling that's worth your time and day. I'm in cyber security and make a over $70/hr.. i started my first job as a teen in a local mom/pops pizza place where i made lots of mistakes, but i was also very reliable and they loved me for it. only $5.75/hr there. so cheer up, it's all good, and keep a positive attitude, learn from your mistakes, admit when you're wrong or don't know, and always try your best, you'll be fine.
\~Random Internet Dad
bumbleblast: Here’s the thing though, I don’t smoke, drink, vape or anything, so being perceived as the “troublemaker, unreliable” kind is really upsetting because that’s not who I am at all. My manager is rude to all her coworkers and any time I tried explaining myself she’d consider it speaking back, and she’d threaten to send me home. I just had to stay quiet and accept whatever she said, even if it wasn’t true
HonestCup20: so honestly.. i would start putting my resume into other jobs in the area, get out of there. you don't wanna work for this type of management and you don't need to. just keep dropping your resume at new places that pay equal or better, until you get a new job, then give them your 2 weeks and head out of there.
| 6 | 1.166667 | |
1657842344 | 1657890841 | t3_vz9zpj | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling one of my bsfs a sister
[deleted]
Longjumping_Fox_9937: Mmmm, this might be better over at r/relationshipadvice? I don’t think you necessarily fucked up here.
Amazing-Quantity9394: yeah, maybe. Ill post this there too. In my mind its a fuck up. Not a huge one, but if im right and ive been accidentally placing hurdles in one of my closest friendships, itll be a hard thing to accept and fix
Longjumping_Fox_9937: Well, I’d say some outside perspective might help! This random stranger thinks that this is likely more miscommunication? I’d honestly just, you know…ask your friend if you offended or hurt her. Just get to the heart of the matter so you can know one way or another and go from there.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1657844839 | 1657932259 | t3_vzausj | t5_2to41 | 23 | BringinItDirty: TIFU by taking the girl home from the party who won the Lap Dance Competition
Sooooo.... my buddies and I were having a party at one of our friends houses which usually is always a good thing. We had a lot of things going on and planned, hired bartenders and staff to assist. Well one of the events towards the end of the night was a lap dance competition and the winner won some cash and a bottle of liqour. I was one of the "judges" or stunt laps lol. It was a great line up and full of talent so me and my buddies were in for a great night.
Well long story short the girl who won the competition was really cool and we clicked while she was doing her thing and she had a cool vibe. I offered to take her back to one of the bedrooms at my buddy's house but it was occupied by a great dane who met me at the door when i tried taking her in. So long story short, we leave to go back to my place and while we are getting down she requested Digital Bath by Deftones and the mood was set. Needless to say Ive never been in this situation before but while we're going at it she tells me to choke her! So there I am looking down at her with her legs by my ears, and I oblige.
Now let me remind you ive never done this before and a small detail may be that im a 6'0 male 220lbs and shes about 105lbs and 5'1. It started off slow but then she would mutter out, "tighter!" so I began to constrict. Before I know it, I'm experimenting by watching her eyes roll back a few times while smiling and asking for more. So there I go, tighten up and her eyes roll back then shut. My brain goes blank for like it seemed to be 5 hours while I watched her lay there silently. All of a sudden i stsart to freak out internally thinking I just killed her! What the hell was I going to say or do about this?! Thankfully she wakes up and kinda gasps and immediatly looks at my and slaps me in my face and asks me why in the hell did I stop? Wow.... I was confused and turned on and weirded out all at the same time.
Thankfully I just rolled with it and we went back into it. Slowly I start hearing her start to sniffle and then break out into a rolling cry/sob. Now what the hell did I stumble uppon now guys? Well it seemed that I was going no where fast now and I was going to be getting in trouble somehow, but when I asked her what was wrong she said she was crying because she had broken up with her ex. She assured me that everything was fine and she wanted me to keep going. Well dont tell me twice, I continued and enjoyed every moment of it (even if it was a bit awkward for a few seconds lol).
She ended up going home in the morning and now Im kinda wondering what the fuck, but with a smile.
&#x200B;
TL;DR / Random girls who are winning lap dance competitions might have some hidden deamons and will leave you with good times/stories.
&#x200B;
Live life baby!
oakland8211: Howd u fuck up?
BringinItDirty: Ended up fucking this chick for like a month, then i found out why she reall was nuts.
I fucked around and got hooked on her.
DrG2390: So why was she really nuts? I’m curious haha
BringinItDirty: Lol, well it turned out she was married (she said they were seperated) and she was still living with his parents. She was just nuts, like off the wall and then she got possessive but then got mad that I was still talking to her. IDK man it should have stayed a one night thing but we all live and learn.
DrG2390: Hahaha fair enough… kinda weird she was able to live with dudes parents after they “separated” though
BringinItDirty: The guy was in the army somewhere and he had her and his kid staying there. I was in the army at the same time lol, ive heard of weirder "arrangments" people had.
| 7 | 3.285714 | |
1657843391 | 1657886301 | t3_vzacyp | t5_2to41 | 12 | Civil_Chick: TIFU by staring my procedure prep two hours from my home.
[removed]
Tapdancer556011: I've had a double colonoscopy and my prep was awful. Up all night, even sleeping on the toilet. That was years ago. Now they have Cologard, a test you can do at home if you're at low risk. After finding out that your innards are in stellar shape, you might want to look into it.
Couldn't help reading your post aloud to my husband. We both died laughing cuz we've been there 🤣
Mode-Klutzy: Somehow I pulled an all-nighter no tiredness no sore rear, hell, my legs didn’t go numb more than twice for less than 3 minutes. But I was chained to my John by the laxatives.
Civil_Chick: Lol...yours legs going numb... I had that a couple times at home. One of my cats kept getting on my lap and taking naps as I was sitting there moaning.
| 4 | 3 | |
1657846649 | 1657914921 | t3_vzbgsx | t5_2to41 | 144 | Teh-Not-The: TIFU by going to the convenience store
Today, I went to work with my grandma. I’ve been doing this more often because 1. She owns the store and I grew up there, and 2. It’s summer time and I have no plans. A block away from her store is a small convenience store owned by a bunch of Arab man that I’ve known forever, so I usually walk there to get snacks. When I went in today there was a different cashier, but I payed no attention to it. I set what I wanted on the counter, and when I look up, the cashier is staring at me. Not just a small glance, but hardcore STARING at me; this is literally what he looked like-😳. He scanned my things WHILE STILL STARING AT ME, and I handed him my cash and left. I didn’t even wait to get my change. Mind you, I’m a minor and this dude is a middle aged man.
TL;DR I had popped a pimple on my face earlier and it was a little red, but this man had THE AUDACITY to stare at me like that and make me hella uncomfortable.
whitecollarwonder: He's probably not used to women without a hijab on yet. This is not a mess up it's literally just culture shock
maloneliam98: TF?
whitecollarwonder: My brother in Christ are you unaware of religion?
maloneliam98: No but it seem im more aware of the religion than you are...
| 5 | 28.8 | |
1657847251 | 1657849933 | t3_vzbo1s | t5_2to41 | 14 | PissedCryptoDad: TIFU by putting my kids' college fund into Crypto
I am a 47 male dad who got into the Crypto hype last year. I was learning about investing and crypto. I thought I knew what I was doing so at the time and was thinking to myself "I can pay for my kids' college AND still be wealthy." I was planning to use this potential wealth to take my family on vacation and get my wife's student loans paid off as well as our mortage.
At the start it was going great. I was using my own money. I started with 1000 I was willing to lose and I pretty much tripled it. I showed my wife and she was happy about it. I told her I was gonna put our kids' college fund into crypto so we can triple that as well. She was hesitant at first but like anyone who just thinks investing means there is little risk and all it takes is time, she agreed to it. Once I put it in and after two months it wss tripled. I got greedy. I didn't pull out of crypto like I should have.
Fast forward today, I am now down 47% what I invested. The college fund was around 68K. My wife is threatening divorce and I haven't told the kids yet. One is suppose to go to college starting next fall and he expects it to be fully paid off but instead he will be needing to take out loans.
What should I do? Should I pull out what remainder of the fund is left or should I hold it and just hope crypto goes back up to the original amount of the fund?
tl;dr I put my kids' college fund into Crypto and I am down 47% of 68K. My wife is threatening to leave me and my oldest kid doesn't know he will be instead taking out loans this Fall instead of a full easy ride.
ghablio: First rule of any gambling is to pull out *your* money as soon as possible and play with house money thereafter.
IMO (and I know it's not popular in some circles) crypto is closer to true gambling than a traditional investment is. Partially this is due to the volatility and how fast you can make it big or lose it all. Also due to the fact that many crypto schemes have no legitimate backing and are just tokens for the sake of having tokens (i.e. there is no real thing represented by the token, no work having been done and/or no real good that is owned).
Still unfortunate, and I don't know that there is a win in this situation. If you pull out, you will cut future losses to 0, however you still 'lose' because of the possibility of crypto rising again and earning you money. But consider this, what is the mindset of a gambling addict? "If I stop playing I can't win", "what if the next hand is a big one", "everyone wins *eventually*".
I think the safest way to go is to pull it all out, and honestly I'm shocked that you didn't pull out on the drop from 3x value until you were at nearly half of your initial "investment" (I realize this could have only been a few days or a week, but from your story it seems like it was longer). Realize the "diamond" hands thing is usually promoted by people who aren't truly going to be ruined by losing the money, or people who have something to gain through your loss (similar to a casino promoting that one last run on the slot machine).
What about pulling the money and putting it into 5 year investment accounts to recoup some of it around the same time your children are graduating? They would still need loans, but could get a lump sum paid down soon after graduation which would still be an incredible financial advantage over most other students. Those early payments, similarly to a mortgage or any interest accruing debt, are worth far more than the amount of the actual payment as they dramatically decrease the amount paid over the life of the loan.
Also, 68k likely wouldn't fully cover schooling unless they did at max 4 years at a smaller in state university. If they go to a big name, and especially out of state, then that 68k may only be one or two years of tuition for a single child without scholarships or grants
PissedCryptoDad: Thanks for the advice. I will be pulling out what I have in now and putting into an investing account.
I also know it wouldn't cover it fully but both of my kids are academically gifted so their scholarships will help pay a lot of it off as well. The 68K was really just for the remainder. We may apply for a grant but we may also make too much a year to qualify.
johnkasick2016_AMA: Definitely look into your options for federal/state grants. Invest the remainder wisely while continuing to contribute as much as you can to the college funds if you intend to keep true to your promise. Your children can take out loans now but you can still pay for it over time.
Right now I-Bonds are a great way to get a guaranteed ~9% after 12 months, read up on them if interested. Otherwise, broad ETFs are the way to go.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1657850782 | 1657858532 | t3_vzcuax | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU for making my brother puke like an exorcist
[deleted]
sick_hearts: Don't you mean like he's possesed? The exorcist is the person that does the exorcism.
[deleted]: Yes I meant that, thanks for the correction
| 3 | 6 | |
1657849111 | 1657890920 | t3_vzcaf5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Fit_MedManiac: TIFU by not skipping leg day
I (25F) had been weight training at the gym fairly regularly for a year until the pandemic started, then I started to do bodyweight and band-assisted exercises until I was able to go back to the gym around 4 months ago.
I had never deadlifted until a friend taught me how to do it safely and I was able to increase my working weight in this exercise, nothing too impressive but it makes me proud (going deadlifting around 115 lbs for 4 reps in March to 128 for 6 reps right now @ 141 lbs of body weight).
The gym I go to is usually crowded, so it's kind of hard to find a good place to deadlift, but I can almost always make it happen.
Two days ago, I went for a lower body session that included deadlifting at the start of the session, I was about to start my last set when a middle-aged woman with two teenagers set up a preacher curl bench behind me and start doing bicep curls. I didn't thought much of it since they weren't really on the space I was using, so I start my set and when I'm about 6 reps in, mid-rep, the woman walks behind me to teach one of the teenagers how to curl, pushing me slightly to the front, which set my whole movement off and made my back hurt. I finishing my set (only had one more rep to go) and I continued my workout session.
My back kept hurting throughout the night, especially when I wanted to bent down or stand up, however, some pressure along the muscles that were hurting did the trick for me and I felt so much better.
Yesterday, I went for an upper body session and everything went well, I still had some pain, but I would just apply pressure to the muscles and I felt better.
This morning I had no pain, so I decided to go for a squat-focused lower body workout. However, even though the session was squat-focused the second exercise was a Romanian deadlift, and I thought I could handle it because I use less weight that with my normal deadlift. Oh boy, I was wrong. I was on excruciating pain on my last set, and now I can't even twist my back to look behind me, bend down, stand up, put my pants on or go up a flight of stairs without feeling an awful pain in my lower back.
TL;DR: I hurt my back deadlifting two days ago, and I hurt it again today doing Romanian deadlifts, I can't move without feeling pain.
Longjumping_Fox_9937: Ooooh, ouch ouch ouch. Massage? Chiropractor?
Fit_MedManiac: I'll get a professional massage today. Chiropractors aren't really a thing in my country
Longjumping_Fox_9937: I hope it helps. I’ve had a terrible back for years — it’s so debilitating.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1657853874 | 1657904636 | t3_vzdvl1 | t5_2to41 | 40 | pale_blue_womp: TIFU By Drinking 2 Day Old Nightstand Water.
I was really thirsty before bed, but didn’t feel like walking to the kitchen for water. I tend to let old cups with some water left collect on my nightstand until there’s no room left, then I take them all to the kitchen. This time I grabbed one of the cups and took a big gulp. Something big and hard went down my throat. I almost gagged. Then I turned on the lights and I saw various dead bugs in the other cups! Never seen bugs in the cups before. We don’t typically have bugs in the house. Not sure if it’s bug season or what, but I for sure drank either a spider or one of those worm looking things that has pinchers on the front. I can’t even right now. Going to bed. FML y’all.
TL:DR: I drank an unknown bug out of old water on my nightstand. Gag.
Longjumping_Fox_9937: Well. This is getting added to my nightmares. Thank you for that.
Chavakno: I have a bathroom cup used for water while brushing teeth. After brushing my teeth I sip from the cup, rinse it around my mouth (all this time I've been looking up), and spit into the sink. As I spit I simultaneously pour out the rest of the cup and glance down into the sink, only to momentarily spot the outline of what looks like a spider get washed down the drain with all the liquids. To this day I'm not sure if it was in the sink, in the cup, or in my mouth and I don't wanna
Longjumping_Fox_9937: Why have you descended upon my comment to further torment me thus.
phezhead: I no longer drink straight from cans after I got a roach in one. If I can't see into a container it's not going in my mouth
Longjumping_Fox_9937: I DID NOT NEED TO ENVISION THIS UGH I CAN FEEL IT IN MY MOUTH.
phezhead: It was a small one fwiw
Longjumping_Fox_9937: This helps absolutely not at all.
| 8 | 5 | |
1657856668 | 1657923768 | t3_vzeswc | t5_2to41 | 689 | taintsauce: TIFU by trying to feed the snake without adult supervision
So, this literally just happened minutes ago. My wife is out of town and our ball python needed a tasty rat. Our snek has been pretty chill since we got him. A little derpy, but hasn't been a problem aside from trying to live on his back for a while. It's important to know that she's the reptile person. I take care of the little guy, but only as a backup.
I've fed the little dude multiple times and have never had an issue. It should be noted that we never feed him directly in the tank to avoid biting issues, rather we pull his ass out and put him in a separate cardboard box for feeding. We call this Murder Box.
Anyway, I put a previously-frozen rat next to his heat lamp to warm up a bit and about two seconds later I remember that this isn't a great idea since it puts him in food mode. Having been in this exact situation before, I get Murder Box ready and open the top of the tank to grab the little guy. I learned a valuable lesson in the speed of (allegedly) cognitively impaired snakes at this time. In the blink of an eye, that little shit was latched onto my textin' thumb and trying to do the ol' python thing and suffocate my hand.
It was at this point I knew I Fucked Up.
So, I'm standing there in my kitchen, slightly drunk with a hangry snake completely enveloping my good hand, trying his damnedest to eat my thumb. It's 11:00 at night. This is not the ideal time to be snek'd. It was at this point that I learned a second lesson:
Do not try to unwrap the snake. They will take this personally and bite down harder.
Walking around like a panicked idiot, my right hand held up like some weird reptilian statue of Liberty, I went into the living room and grabbed my phone to call my wife with my free hand.
"The subscriber you're trying to reach has a voice mailbox that is full"
Now the shit is getting deep.
On the third try, she finally answers. "Uh, hon', I don't know how to tell you this but the snake is eating my thumb and I don't know what to do, please help me." <Huh? What?! Babe it's 11-> "HON', THE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE IS EATING MY MOTHERFUCKING HAND!!1!11"
I subconsciously shook my snekified hand to drive my point home. The snake did not like this.
Once the initial confusion passed, she helpfully guided me into getting my hand back. PRO TIP - ball pythons don't really like hot water. If you find yourself in this situation, put the tap on full blast hot and put the snekified area under it. They will let go and drop into the basin for recovery.
TL;DR: Hangry snek thought my hand was food.
EDIT: Since it wass being asked for in the comments, SNAKE TAX: https://imgur.com/H3F2FGy
caremal5: I thought it was cold water you were supposed to use in that sort of situation..
GillyGoose1: To prevent severe injury to your snake, it is cold water that you're supposed to use 😬
Cypheri: Too cold can be dangerous as well as it can put them into shock. Room temp is best.
GillyGoose1: Thank you, I actually intended to write 'tepid' but for some reason wrote cold instead haha.
Cypheri: No worries. I just try to make sure things are as clear as possible for anyone who might misunderstand and make mistakes that could hurt their animals.
| 6 | 114.833333 | |
1657858938 | 1657860471 | t3_vzfj7o | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU Tipping 140% to a Pizza Delivery DriverS
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mdhunter99: Bruh I tipped my barber $30 on a $20 cut. I was sober. Didn’t realize it until I got home.
WhichWayzUp: What, did you pay with a $50 bill but you thought it was a $20?
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1657859312 | 1657970399 | t3_vzfndm | t5_2to41 | 561 | Mysterious-Report-20: TIFU: I drank from a natural stream
I am usually pretty smart about stuff outdoors but not today. It's actually a pretty short story...
I got lost on a 3-mile hike and it turned into an 8-mile hike. On the way back, after finding my way, I ran out of water because I was unprepared for such a long hike. I was still about 1 - 1.5 miles from my car and came upon this really clear flowing stream. My dehydrated mind got the best of me and I unscrewed my water and drank 2 cups (measurements, not full bottles of water) to just tie me over until I got to the car.
I know you aren't supposed to do this and it is one of the stupidest things I have ever done outdoors. It's just when you are thirsty, any water looks enticing.
I am now experiencing slightly abnormal symptoms like a headache and other things.
&#x200B;
TLDR: I was thirsty and drank from a natural stream during a prolonged hike
Shartyshartfast: ‘Other things’.
Mysterious-Report-20: nothing diarrhea related yet, just feeling sluggish and no appetite
DuePomegranate: I think you're over-reacting. You feel this way because you slightly over-exerted yourself and were also dehydrated for a bit.
Before clicking I thought you would have giardia and be shitting yourself in agony.
randoTwT: Its starting to sound actually like lyme disease, which is caused by ticks in grassy or wooded areas.
P41N4U: Lyme disease takes a while to show symtoms. We talking days to a month here...
randoTwT: The shortest time being 3 days and we don’t know how long ago the hike was, sometimes people post year old stories on tifu. But this one was clearly recent as op is still suffering symptoms.
TheYungWaggy: There is literally *no way* anyone can diagnose Lyme's Disease solely from a headache and fatigue. That could be a billion different things. Seems very irresponsible to "diagnose" someone like this
randoTwT: And loss of hunger and dehydration. Four of the main symptoms and they were potentially exposed to the tick. Again i am NOT diagnosing, i am not even certified to do so, just saying if i had to guess for 10$, lyme disease.
ocean_man0420: >i am NOT diagnosing, i am not even certified to do so
Proceeds to diagnose
randoTwT: Actually i made a guess i didn’t say “i diagnose you” i just said “i think” i did not say “you tested positive for” i infact said “i think” so thanks for the reply and downvote! I see absolutely nothing wrong with me making an assumption at 2 am and receiving uncalled for backlash! At this point might as well hold a sign saying “i am always wrong” so people stop assuming i think i know everything cause its not every second that someone tells me that i am a dumbass or am a fucking idiot because i made an inference and they had an opposing opinion so Thanks!
ocean_man0420: You should really consider getting that sign, also youre welcome bud no problem at all :)
randoTwT: You’re* and thank you again!
ocean_man0420: Awh bless your little cotton socks
| 14 | 40.071429 | |
1657860409 | 1657860743 | t3_vzfsw9 | t5_2to41 | 4 | neovb: In the grand scheme of life, no, this was absolutely not a FU. Sure you hooked up with someone who "wasn't up to your standards" but sounds like you had a good time nonetheless. Don't worry about what your friends think - I suspect at least some of the regret youre feeling is a result of your friends (half of whom are probably jealous) making a big deal out of nothing. Trust me, you will do vastly more things that qualify as a TIFU the older you get. I speak from experience. Think of it this way: at least you didn't get her pregnant.
SaltMarshGoblin: >Think of it this way: at least you didn't get her pregnant.
u/neovb, as far as he knows. So far.
neovb: Well said!
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1657861800 | 1657863611 | t3_vzgdv5 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Megrr36: TIFU by telling my big sister I don't need her
I guess I'll just start with I'm a 16f and she's a year older than me 17f. She's also a lot bigger than me, always been more aggressive and been the type to wanna look out for me and stuff like that.
Recently I was having a bad day and she came over asking me how it was going and everything. I snapped and told her I don't want her thinking she needs to be there for me or feel like I want her to be there for me cause I don't want it. She just sat there silent for a couple minutes and then left my room.
She hasn't talked to me since this happened and it's been about a week now. I feel like I fucked up by snapping and yelling at her, but I kinda feel like I did the right thing by saying it. A lot of people have told me I'd regret it and I was wrong too.
TL;DR: TIFU by telling my big sister I don't want her looking out for me or thinking she has to be there for me anymore. She hasn't talker to me since
lecherro: Sounds like you need to have a good talk... Sister to sister. Explain to her how you feel. Be honest,but be respectful. IDK what your reasons are for not wanting her there to watch over you, or if that's just BS and you really do want her there but maybe not so close. Either way you need to talk. It can be hard as hell to be honest to someone you love.
Megrr36: I really just dont like her wanting to "protect me" or "look out for me" I don't like the idea of it either
Other people I know act like she should be there for me too which sucks a bit too.
Lux_Brumalis: I get it - if she is always looking out for you, you don’t have room to learn how to look out for yourself. Doesn’t mean you don’t love and appreciate her! You just might need some space to develop your own survival skills and coping mechanisms. Nothing wrong with that! Just make sure she knows how much you love and appreciate her, and the fact that you need space sometimes doesn’t change that!
| 4 | 2 | |
1657863111 | 1657903582 | t3_vzgs2h | t5_2to41 | 68 | epbol722: TIFU by punching a kid in the face
TIFU by punching a kid in the face.
I work with kids full-time, and for the most part I love them. I would never purposely hurt a child. That said, I punched one of my students in the face today. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
One of my kids was wearing a baseball cap and said, "I bet you can't knock it off my head in one try!" Why did I rise to the bait of a 7 year old?
My stupid self balled up my fist, swung upward, the KID MOVED (probably amazed that his teacher was actually taking a swing at his face) and I hit him square on the nose.
Needless to say I told his parents (and later my boss) what happened, and as I was crying embarrassed tears of shame the dad laughed at me and told me not to worry. He said he has 7 siblings and one more bonk on the nose won't phase him. My boss found it less amusing, but said that as long as I told the parents and realized how foolish my actions were then that was that.
Now that I'm home and overthinking everything I am sure they'll change their minds and this boy will hold a grudge forever and my boss will decide I am unhinged and fire me. I definitely should have known better.
Just very embarrassed and I want to know if other people have f-ed up in their classrooms and can relate.
Will I get fired?
TL ; DR - I am a teacher and I accidentally punched a student. His parents and my boss took it in stride, but I feel absolutely awful. I would love to hear from other teachers so I can try to put this into perspective.
Friendly_Dot_1673: If it makes you feel any better, I'm a social worker and I choked a client to the point of unconsciousness. It was not an accident.
DowDoverDoi: You can't bait us like this, Friendly\_Dot\_1673!
Friendly_Dot_1673: My bad, busy day. Story in comments.
DowDoverDoi: Ty.
| 5 | 13.6 | |
1657869193 | 1657886616 | t3_vzif12 | t5_2to41 | 7,797 | ExecutiveAlpaca: TIFU by accepting a FaceTime from one of my employees...
[removed]
BinkoTheViking: “So…..how about that raise?” *stroke stroke*
ExecutiveAlpaca: He's definitely getting a promotion, that's all I'm going to say.
MrVolborus: >his dick (Jesus christ the size of that thing)
Care to explain 
iamapersonmf: D
echosixwhiskey: 8=======D
Edit: thank you u/mmikke
mmikke: You did it wrong. It's eight equals D
| 7 | 1,113.857143 | |
1657870621 | 1657877256 | t3_vzirwk | t5_2to41 | 153 | dragonsaregnarly: TIFU by shitting my pants.
I must say, this did not happen today, it happened about a week ago but I have finally accepted it and decided to find the humour in it.
I am a young professional, just graduated college, got a job, and moved to a new city. I decided to go out to a bar and have a couple drinks and mingle with other people in my new city. I had a great time and met some really cool people. However, when I left to go to this bar I walked there, it was roughly 2 miles but I didn't mind because I wanted to soak in my new home. I was horrendously over served at this bar and definitely should have taken an Uber home but decided to walk instead.
It's about 3 in the morning, and I decide to cut through a universities campus because I'm drunk and for some reason think that it was a good idea, I'm about a half mile into my adventure and my stomach starts to hurt, totally expected after drinking to excess. I brush it off and continue my journey.
About ten minutes later I realize that this was no normal belly ache and my bowels were about to explode, I desperately look for a place to relieve myself but realized I was on a college campus, at 3 AM, cameras and cops everywhere and I didn't want to get arrested for shitting in public my first couple weeks in a new city.
I did not decide to shit my pants, it just happened, and it was not just a little bit of poop, I mean I shit my pants, I will spare you the details but it was so messy that my shoes had poop on them.
I walked home, defeated, covered in shit. I took my shoes off cuz I was literally squishing the poop liquid when I was walking.
I thank the Lord that I was alone cuz that would have been a really good way to lose a brand new friend.
I washed my clothes immediately and cleaned myself like I was covered in blood.
TLDR:
New to town, went out for drinks, had too much, shit myself walking home.
klaad3: Happend to me 8 years ago after a fart decided it wanted to fill my shoes. It always sucks when the counter for how many days since you last shit yourself gets reset.
mr_mcpoogrundle: >a fart decided it wanted to fill my shoes
I can feel these words
OkVolume1: Commenter could feel those words and they filled his shoes.
| 4 | 38.25 | |
1657871675 | 1657960966 | t3_vzj0vn | t5_2to41 | 87 | Valentss8987: TIFU by sneezing with pudding in my mouth
TIFU by sneezing with chocolate pudding in my mouth. Living in Arizona, my allergies are fairly agitated, this is relevant later in the story. I was devouring a snack pack chocolate pudding, mouthful by mouthful in my living room. I was laying down and all of my family was around me, including my dog.
Now, this took place around mid-day when my allergies were at their worst. I took in a monstrous mouth full of chocolate pudding, and then I felt it. I was anticipating a sneeze, I could not swallow my chocolate pudding at the time and I would soon regret this. This sneeze was the most prodigious sneeze I have ever snoze. I spewed chocolate pudding EVERYWHERE. I'm talking about a full 360° range of motion. My entire family, ceiling, and walls were coated with viscous chocolate pudding. My dog went from a white lab, to a chocolate lab, quite literally.
My parents were completely pissed, and my efforts to cover my sneeze with my arm were futile. I'm writing this as I am in the shower, due to the fact that I was coated with it as well. I am just worried about how I will face my family when I am finished. I am thinking about moving out because I will never be able to face them again, that is the gravity of the situation. I will also never be able to eat chocolate pudding again while I have allergies.
TLDR; spewed chocolate pudding all over my family because of a sneeze, thinking about moving out because I will never be able to face them again.
EmmaEsme22: If you're in a situation where your family is gonna be so unbearable because you did something that was frankly, out if your control, then... Yeah, if it was me I'd look to leave if that was in the cards. But, I get it, as someone who left home at 18 and didn't look back, so...
Valentss8987: Im 19 and don't have the best relationship with them so...
EmmaEsme22: I'm sorry to hear. Not everyone has a great family life. Some people don't get that. If you can make it on your own, don't be afraid to look into it. It went well for me, there was one time I quit my job and it took a hot minute to get another... But I would have rather lived in my car than go home again.
Valentss8987: I have many other supportive people in my life, so I think I will be well off :)
EmmaEsme22: That's wonderful, glad to hear it. Wishing you the best outcome!
| 6 | 14.5 | |
1657869076 | 1657876213 | t3_vzidup | t5_2to41 | 6 | Express-Credit7949: TIFU by apparently missing a whole class course
I'm just a college student in the Philippines just going about doing my trimester and video games just to get all this over with. We've just about started summer vacation for a few weeks now and I just received my grades right now this morning, and they've been due for almost a week now. I'm finally relieved to see it in my email as my mom just fears the worst each and everytime about everything, such as when I told her before that my classmate (from a different strand if that matters) already got her report card around Tuesday. She thinks I flunked something or missing a grade, but I've since sent an email about to my teachers/college about it, and all we had to do was just wait, no need to stress out about anything. I doubt it changed anything on when they'd give my report card.
I now show the grades to her and... lo and behold, suddenly in my first cluster of courses, I received a 5.0 on the midterm grade followed by the 1.25 on the final term grade. The Final Grade lists that course as 5.0 and there was a Remarks column (that I only take for granted/ignored til now) that says "Incomplete", while all my other courses were gived "Passed". There wasn't a total/overall grade on the bottom counting it with all my other courses' grades which is the basis of if I passed that semester or not. Except in the very bottom of the report card that says "to follow" (all undercases and all that). Before I continue, I simply think this was just a placeholder, not something they'll discuss with me before finalizing my grade, I bet if they'd correct it, they'll just finally do their decimals and put in my grade. This college just aren't as formal as they make themselves to be even when priding themselves as an international school.
I just realized while writing this that some of y'all are probably like, "Okay damn, you just missed a whole course, too bad, but it's not the end here you only flunked one" or something like that idk. But the thing is I'm in this college through a scholarship. I need to maintain a high grade to stay here, otherwise my parents are gonna have to pay for tuition, etc. for a college they can't afford for me.
Imagine the look my mom gave when I showed her the report card first. Her worst fears had probably been realized. It was only at this point did I realize, when I was so sure I've done everything I could during this academic year my best, and didn't even think about being scarce with any subject since high school, that mom pointed a very damning grade. She demanded what happened here, and immediately said "Did you not pass anything here in Individual and Dual Sports??".
I quickly said no. I did pass something. I have the evidence in my computer. I'll talk to my prof about it. I'll send them an email about my incomplete grade, and all we have to do is just wait it out and everything will be arranged. She pretty much took all that, as she knows I've had problems like this before and have managed. She calms down a bit but still wants me to get to solving it ASAP and won't stop repeating that I needed a high grade to maintain my scholarship and all that and other things I should apparently worry about.
Except I didn't have anything. I did not know at all about this course. I think they just must have given me a course I wasn't supposed to be in, as many of my batchmates just have different courses because of different strands.
But something in the back of my mind, I knew there must be something I'm missing. Why is this Sports subject here?
I checked my email from 3 months ago on April where they sent us emails of various courses I was going to attend and pass my outputs on. And of course, there was listed with its Google Classroom code in a seperate column, Individual Sports.
I just missed a whole course.
I swear, to this day and since, all the way to my grave, that I've never seen, never forgotten a single course like this before. The simple answer of course is that I did miss it, but I swear it wasn't there before.
I went to a fellow BSIT student I've talked the most throughout the year, and was unfortunate as I was to hear it, he did attend an Individual Sports course. There was an inkling of hope here though. That guy was late and joined the Google Classroom class two weeks late. He also said there were all sorts of issues and absences in that class. The reason the Final Grade was set to a great 1.25 was because there was just so much people absent on the later synchronous sessions and many people having complaints about the outputs that she decided she didn't have time to deal with that. Or something. I don't know I wasn't there and didn't ask my classmate too much. I was so glad to hear all that, and came up with the email that I'll just claim I did not see the course, nor did the prof or fellow classmate catch me up on the course. I've since sent that email.
However, I know it's a lost cause, they'll just say I did see it and are making excuses, or they'll do absolutely nothing about it, or at least say they can't do anything about it. Absences weren't all that special with this course, just about every course had at least half a dozen absent students.
I've been actually closing and reopening my college gmail to get some details on this post as accurate as I can make it to be, as I didn't want to keep it open and have mom see it as she passes by, I don't even dare to hope that it's fine she'll miss it when I minimize it. She might grow suspicious about this all. And the thing is, everytime I reopen that college gmail, I sink and I'm scared so much and hope I don't see a reply on my email cementing what's coming for me.
Here I am sinked in my seat, making a throwaway account, because I just don't know what to do. I'm so much gonna fail, and I don't know what to do with myself atm. Just stuck at home with my family at home. Mom has since left, and said she won't tell dad about it until I fix this issue, just like every other problem I have (and honestly mostly haven't) fixed before with a solution that I've said she thinks I'm doing. Have about August 15 'til I can fix this mess (hahaha) as that's the last day of before enrolling for the new academic year, and before August 30 where the new school year actually begins. Probably missed a few things, so probs won't mind questions, just really typing out what's on my mind. I've just dug myself deeper if she finds out its worse, that I was simply playing too much videogames (which I honestly do, but to miss a class code because of it?) that I didn't care to check on classmates or properly look at my documents to miss a small class code, and not that it was entirely a professors fault.
TL;DR I, a college boy with too much time in his hands, miss a Google Classroom class code and missed a whole course, failing to keep up a good grade for scholarship. Told mom, who saw the grade on the report card, that I was there and simply just need to ask my prof they missed some of my midterm outputs, which I totally did not do in the first place and digging myself deeper. Since sent an email to the prof about this whole misunderstanding, but will most likely fail to maintian my scholarship and have some very sad/mad parents soon.
EmberCat42: I don't know how the college system works in your country but personally I would go talk to a counselor about this (or whoever helps students sign up for classes). There may be a chance that they know other people have had problems with this course and they can remove it from your record. I don't know if it's possible, but it doesn't hurt to ask. Best of luck to you!
Express-Credit7949: It's the assessment form that gets me if I talk to a counselor! It's basically all the important stuff like how much money my parents have to spend like tuition, my basic student info, and of course the infamous class codes. It's just written there among all the other codes I couldn't have possibly gotten from anywhere else and they might argue I just purposely missed this to skip a whole course. Although, I did notice in the email that it's called **revised** in bold, before giving the .pdf. Hopefully that's something I can use.
God I just can't believe I'm gonna get axed by a random course my strand isn't even all about. I finally added in the class code, it worked, and it's just talking about sports, while the outputs just seem to be essays, e.g. what would the ideal sports area look like for you, so you can't even say it's like PE to get homebodies up and running.
As I was writing this comment, I've actually got a reply by the prof, and simply said to just ask, yes, basically the counselor. Wish me luck.
| 3 | 2 | |
1657874615 | 1657877406 | t3_vzjqxf | t5_2to41 | 14 | Samalam02: TIFU by stress eating
Bonus points I guess, this happened within the last 24 hours and the effects are just getting worse.
I stay home to watch my boyfriend’s three kids. Lately the stress has been getting to me, and I’ve been forgetting to take my antidepressants for the past week so I’m not in a great place mentally right now.
I recently got the nexplanon implant, which apparently can increase your appetite. As someone who struggles with anorexia/ no appetite I saw that as an absolute win, until today.
The stress combined with actually wanting to eat lead to me snacking constantly all day. I actually ate breakfast for once, then spent the rest of the day unable to satisfy the unfamiliar feeling of wanting food in my stomach. I ate spicy cheese its, Oreos and milk, goldfish, Doritos, and another bowl of cereal. Then to top it all off, I wanted something sweet but we didn’t have ice cream so I settled for raw cookie dough.
I fell asleep around 7pm by accident and woke up around 2am with intense stomach cramps, and had gas passing every 5-10 seconds. I thought for sure, I must have to use the restroom after so much food right? No. With every push the pain increased and after about 5 minutes of trying I gave up.
Now I’m laying on the couch drinking a Powerade (hydration, yay!), passing gas, and driving myself nuts with all the possibilities of what could be wrong. Too much food after only eating a meal every day for years? Possibly. Too much junk and not actual food? Maybe. Salmonella from eating four raw cookie dough pieces? God I hope not. It’s now almost 3:40am and I’m tired, but the pain is making it difficult to fall asleep. I guess I’m just gonna have to get to tomorrow and see if it’s still bad then. I read that salmonella will pass on its own, although it does sound horrible. I’m hoping the pain is just my body being really confused with the sudden increase of food.
Tl;dr: I have an eating disorder that makes me have no appetite. After getting a birth control implant and reaching my limit of stress my need to snack increased tremendously, possibly throwing my body into shock with the sudden increase of food. I’m in pain.
StephUhKneeDee: Oh man, that sucks. I’m sorry.
Try replacing the Powerade with actual water. Unless you’ve been vomiting excessively, the additional electrolytes in sports drinks don’t make up for the sugar content. (Especially since you binged on sugar yesterday.)
That doesn’t actually sound like a super excessive amount of food, so likely your body just doesn’t know how to process it right now.
Salmonella seems unlikely; most raw cookie dough sold in stores is treated to reduce the risk of salmonella.
Try giving yourself a gentle stomach massage while you drink water. Move clockwise, starting down by your pelvis. This is the direction your intestines move, so it can help increase digestion.
Hang in there! Feel better and be kind to yourself!
Samalam02: I’m actually drinking Gatorade because I have really low blood pressure. I did drink a cup of water when I woke up though. Do I rub from the pelvis all the way up to the actual stomach or just in small circles? Thank you for the advice
StephUhKneeDee: When I learned abdominal massage in school (I’m a massage therapist), we started at the right side pelvis and moved with tiny counter clockwise motions in a clockwise direction, pelvis to right rib cage, across to left rib cage, back down to left pelvis, and then repeat.
I’ll admit it’s not a technique I use on clients, like, ever, but I did some quick googling and it seems to be the common technique.
Samalam02: I’ll try it, thank you so much!
| 5 | 2.8 |
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