start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1657871186 | 1657877947 | t3_vziwth | t5_2to41 | 101 | frischance: TIFU by making it look like I ejaculated with such force I ripped a hole in my trousers
Tldr at bottom
TIFU by making it look like I came so hard I ripped a hole in my trousers.
This happened about 17 years ago when I was in year 7.
So I was in year 7 my first year of "big boy school" and I was getting on well. I was in drama class and we had to pretend to step over a river.
So I lifted my leg to step over and heard a ripping sound, I look down and see a big hole in the crotch of my black school trousers!
Mortified I look around and luckily no one noticed, I glance to the clock and see there is only 5 minutes until end of lesson so I awkwardly stand with my legs together hiding the hole.
5 minutes later the bell rings and everyone leaves. I scurry off to the toilets by my tutor room and frantically hunt through my bag trying to find something to fix my trousers when my hand stumbles upon a cylindrical object.
Elated I pull out my trusty pritt stick (for those of you who don't know it's a cylinder of thick white glue used to glue paper together)
In a blind panic I start rubbing the pritt stick all over the tear and push the two parts of fabric together. They kind of stuck but not well enough.
I then realise my fuck up.
I now have a hole in my trousers surrounded with thick white lumpy sludge that's rapidly turning crispy. It looked like I had ejaculated with such force I had ripped a hole in my trousers! Fuckkkk!
So I ran to the office and told them I wasn't feeling well.
About 15 minutes later my mum arrives to take me home slightly annoyed about having to leave work but worried about me being ill.
On the car ride home I turned to her and confessed I wasn't sick, as the annoyance started to take over her face I told her why I called her. She nearly crashed the car into a bridge from laughing too hard!
So there it is how I fucked up by making it look like I can cum with the force of a fire hose.
TLDR: I ripped a hole in my trousers at the crotch in school, tried fixing it with pritt stick and ended up with a hole surrounded by crusty white stuff.
___Phreak___: I've done the same thing at work 3-4 times.... it doesn't get any less embarrassing.
frischance: Lol see I learned my lesson about pritt stick the first time haha! You should invest in a emergency sewing kit or stretch trousers :p
___Phreak___: I work in retail, they tend to go unexpectedly at the seams. I've had the inner thigh go... and the seam on my ass. Oh.. I actually had it once between the legs... that was a breeze though :D
frischance: Haha mate you poor thing!
| 5 | 20.2 | |
1657880608 | 1657881856 | t3_vzl9t2 | t5_2to41 | 3 | the_facetimed_wife: TIFU by being on all fours while my husband facetime with his boss
[removed]
d_an1: Sounds like you're trying too hard to write the next 50 shades.
MidiGong: Not hard enough tho
| 3 | 1 | |
1657881458 | 1658075404 | t3_vzli1b | t5_2to41 | 26,611 | SignMeOutNow: TIFU learning sign language (update)
**The Recap:**
[Original post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/vslrhh/tifu_learning_sign_language)
The new man in my mom's life is Deaf. My mom really likes him and so do I. It's safe to say they're in the honeymoon phase of their relationship, and as the teenage son of a single mom who's now madly in love, it's both great and gross at the same time. The gross part I'll unpack in a moment. My plan was to surprise new guy on his upcoming birthday by revealing that I've secretly been learning sign language for months and my first unspoken words to him would've been "happy birthday" and "welcome to the family".
**The Gross Part:**
I came to realize that learning sign language in secret came at the cost of understanding my mom and new guy whenever the two of them low key used sign language to talk dirty in my presence. I've lost count of how many random times I've caught my mom using her "discreet" sign language skills to let new guy know how deep into him she was and how much deeper into her she would love for him to be once they were both in bed.
**The New Plan:**
The wet vagina incident I alluded to in my original post was one of too many examples that prompted me to abandon the birthday surprise and set in motion my plan to inform new guy and my mom sooner rather than later that I understand enough sign language to follow a basic conversation or at the very least interpret individual words to make sense of simple sentences.
**The Update:**
Instead of informing new guy and my mom that I've been learning sign language on the side, I decided to ask new guy to personally teach me sign language in his free time. That way no one needs to know, other than thousands of strangers on the internet, that I understood my mom and new guy whenever they were talking dirty. It was the best approach I could think of that would encourage new guy and my mom to keep their sign language nonsexual around me and spare us all an awkward situation.
That being said, I didn't let them off the hook that easily. My first sign language lesson with new guy happened two days ago. He's actually a really good sign language teacher when he's not being seduced by my mom. He even promised to teach me swear words. Towards the end of the lesson I asked him about some of the things I've seen my mom sign to him. In order to sell how "new" I was to sign language, I first had to pretend-struggle how to make the wet vagina sign in front of new guy.
It was almost impossible to keep a straight face when I noticed the growing horror in new guy's eyes as soon as he realized what I was trying to communicate. He was quick to intervene and prevent me from finishing the vagina sign, which prompted him to reveal one of his first golden rules - no skipping ahead to pro level sign language. Apparently my mom's vagina falls under advanced sign language skills and therefore will not be addressed at all.
Speaking of my mom, she's been keeping her sign language relatively safe-for-son since my interest in learning sign language went public. However, this morning I did catch her complimenting new guy's butt in sign language. It was weird because now that she knows I'm learning, she feels the need to teach me too. And based on what happened this morning, she seems to think it's hilarious to teach me words like "nice ass". Just when I thought I had the upper hand.
This is still an ongoing fuck up, but not as bad as before. I hope.
**Tl:dr The guy my mom's dating is Deaf. Because I like the dude, I decided to learn sign language in secret and was planning to surprise him on his upcoming birthday by communicating in sign language. Little did I know that secretly understanding sign language would expose me to disturbingly intimate conversations between my mom and the new man in her life. As per my update, I decided to ask new guy to teach me sign language so that everyone in the house is aware that I'm learning and avoid having intimate sign language conversations in my company. Part of my plan backfired thanks to my comedian of a mother having some fun at my expense by Jedi teaching me how she compliments new guy's "nice ass" in sign language.**
Embarrassed_Roof_560: Please keep updating. i wanna know where this is going
SignMeOutNow: >i wanna know where this is going
Somewhere unspeakable if you ask me.
M002: Just don’t break your arms while signing
Cherego: As long as he doesnt use coconuts to sign something it should be fine
swr3212: And don't put them in a box and try to burn it, the...coconuts won't leave a good smell.
youtubecommercial: If the smell is too bad you can grab some jolly ranchers.
IainttellinU: Haven't heard of the jolly ranchers one
youtubecommercial: Sorry I had to introduce you to it
IainttellinU: Its fine, you haven't because I still don't know what it is atm
| 10 | 2,661.1 | |
1657883734 | 1657894148 | t3_vzm5i0 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by boarding an international flight while experimenting with natural deodorant
[deleted]
twotall88: Umm... if you want to try actual natural deodorant I would suggest a mineral stone. The salt kills the bacteria, your pits don't get sticky from lemon sugar, and it never causes irritation unless you have a cut/scrape in your pit.
Use it directly out of the shower while you're still soaking wet. Rub it all along the underside of your arm up to the elbow, the corresponding space of your ribcage and your pit. Presto you have minimally to not smelly arm pits and none of the silliness of lemon juice:
[https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GMPEVRK/](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00GMPEVRK/)
I switched because the Old Spice anti-perspirant was causing this weird white/yellow buildup on my pit hair that wouldn't come off without shaving.
P.s. the sugar in the lemon juice would actually feed the bacteria if the acid is weak enough making you smell like death.
P.p.s. If you miss your shower and are in a hurry then wash your pits with soap and water, it literally only takes like 2 minutes and before dry off use the mineral stone.
CrunchyAdventure: Anti perspirant is different than deodorant though. One stops sweating, while deodorant is just a smelly, semi solid.
I don't understand why people switch to natural? They don't mind or enjoy the smell of their own body odor?
twotall88: If you use the mineral stone correctly and shower regularly like every day or skipping one day here or there, you don't have body odor.
I've been on the natural stone for over a decade and I only ever smell (source: wife) if I'm on day 2 or 3 of no shower. I may have untypically low body odor levels to start with but it's very effective.
CrunchyAdventure: That's pretty awesome, friend. Why the switch though? Someone in your life with scent sensitivity?
I haven't encountered many people in my life that switched to natural deodorant. The couple that did have admitted they enjoy that type of smell, so I only assumed (big oops) the same for everyone 😅
For me, I like the scents of deodorant /cologne ( I'm basic lol) and like to have those little wafts of smelly goodness appear through the day. It's like a nasal treat, and I just can't scratch that itch with no scent/body scent.
twotall88: It was a long time ago but I think it stemmed mostly from the buildup on the hair and the trend that was going around saying antiperspirants are unhealthy.
I'm not really into scents like cologne or deodorant either. I did recently use some old spice deodorant when I was in a pinch and it irritated the shit out of my pits.
| 6 | 2.5 | |
1657885189 | 1657903990 | t3_vzmkfh | t5_2to41 | 438 | pookiebear6969: TIFU by accidentally speed bagging my boyfriend's family jewels.
This happened almost 12 years ago. I was heavily pregnant with our second child. We own a small cleaning business where we mostly clean overnight rentals. I'm the bathroom cleaner(self appointed job) because I'm just better at it. I'm in my 7th month of pregnancy and absolutely can't bend over to clean tubs anymore. So we agree to temporarily change routines till after baby arrives and I'm back from maternity leave. He's leaning over a tub scrubbing away and yells for me to please bring him a small roll of trash bags on my way through the house. I go grab some and walk in the bedroom door and he's still leaning over the tub with his back facing me. I get this fantastic idea to throw them at his butt. Because why not? It's the perfect opportunity to be playful with the objective of my affection.
So I underhand toss this small roll of trash bags right at his butt. They hit him right on his family jewels. He just sort of grunts and then falls over making strange noises. I didn't realize my mistake and thought he was joking. He's always over dramatic about anything I do to him because it makes me laugh. So he's on the floor red face and sweating. Making injured animal noises. So naturally I start laughing and promptly tinkle on myself because I'm extremely pregnant. After about 2 minutes to 3 minutes I realize that he's in fact not joking. So the next 10 minutes I spend trying to apologize without laughing again and making sure he's okay.
TLDR; Actually smashed my boyfriend's family jewels with a roll of trash bags and tickled on myself from laughing too hard.
jjenkins_41: Speed bagging sounds like putting a condom on fast. Had to read the whole story, cause was confused as to why you'd need to, if you were pregnant.
thomas_deans: I thought she meant punching like those boxing bags that swing back and forth.
iBN3qk: That’s what I thought, like a cat batting a dangling thing.
| 4 | 109.5 | |
1657885120 | 1657898160 | t3_vzmjqp | t5_2to41 | 27 | Ultopsso_YT: tifu by shutting down my pc using the physical restart button
Well i fucked up big time....
So today i was jus vibing to music and it started to lag and freeze so i decided to restart my pc using the physical restart button it started having this problem, D:/Windows/System32/Logfiles/Srt/Srttrail.txt
I tried for 6 hours, watched all sorts of tech support vids, none worked,
Recovery, troubleshooting, system disk bs, uninstall updates, safe mode, command prompt believe me i tried everything, hell even safe mode couldnt make it boot up.
I was getting frustrated as fuck. so out of frustration my dumb fuckin ass thought about just formatting everything and reinstall windows again...
Now now before yall start rioting in comments, i know what happens when u format (C:) i knew this but i thought no problemo since its not working ill jus get windows reinstalled
And there it was. I formatted everything and rebooted
When i rebooted it started saying your pc/device needs to be repaired 0xc00000f you'll need to use recovery tools, contact an administrator
I cant do anything now.
I have fuckin deadlines and a lot of work and this shit happens ffs help
TL;DR Dont format Local Disk (C:) and remember not restarting ur pc normally is harmful
twotall88: Modern computers and Windows operating systems really are not affected negatively by a hard restart. What you experienced was a storage drive failure most likely though it could be another hardware issue.
Are you using a HDD or SSD?
Ultopsso_YT: I got both hdd and ssd
I think something important got corrupted when i hard restarted it
twotall88: The fact that your computer was lagging and freezing indicates it was already experiencing a drive failure. I had my custom system crash to a halt with an SSD for the operating system and a 1TB HDD for extra storage. I tried everything from reinstalling windows to anything else I could find online. Then when I unplugged the slave HDD from the system everything suddenly worked fine and I couldn't get the OS to recognize the drive as a external drive from that point.
All this to say, even if an HDD isn't the primary drive that has the OS installed on it, if it fails it can cause the entire system to not work even if the SSD is perfectly fine.
Ultopsso_YT: Ill test the hdd later then
PM_TELETUBBY_PORN: Here to plus one this comment thread. I remember that code many years back and it was indeed from my HDD taking a shit. Replaced it, and things ran smoothly again.
For what it's worth, sorry for the loss and frustration and untimely inconvenience. Hope it all works out for you
Ultopsso_YT: Thx man
| 7 | 3.857143 | |
1657885166 | 1657894599 | t3_vzmk7y | t5_2to41 | 22 | annapandax3: TIFU by not wrapping my tampon before throwing it in the trash
TW: blood and just… gross
I’m currently on a family trip and we’re sharing 1 bathroom with 5 girls and 1 boy. 2 of us are on our periods. We all went out for dinner and took our turns to shower after.
When it was my turn, I was already in the shower and I forgot to take out my tampon. Usually when I use the toilet, I wrap the bloody tampon in tissue and toss it. But in a rush and too lazy to come out and wrap it, I just fling the thing in the bin bare, thinking I’d remember to do it when my turn is over.
I didn’t.
It is now 5 hours later and I finally remember, go back to the scene of the crime, and it is now gone. Someone was grossed out that they disposed of it properly and I’m not sure who it is. I’m so embarrassed. I want to apologize to whoever saw it but I also want to avoid bringing it up. lol
TL;DR: In a rush and threw my tampon in the trash thinking I’d remember to have the courtesy of wrapping it up. I didn’t. Went back to cover it up and it was already gone.
KoroSenseiOwO: My boyfriend's sister's girlfriend kept leaving her tampons unwrapped in the bathroom trash and the dogs kept bringing it out and chewing on them right in the middle of the hallway and I would get so mad. I got tired of picking it up because that's fucking disgusting, touching something that's been in another girl's vagina, so I would go and ask her to "hey your tampon is on the ground in the hallway and the dogs are sucking on it, can you please wrap it up better next time so I don't have to look at it?" It took me asking like 5times before she stopped throwing them away in there. It was messed up because they had their own bathroom in their room so it made no sense she couldn't throw it away in there
annapandax3: That’s so nasty and inconsiderate. 🤢 I’m sorry.
KoroSenseiOwO: Oh they don't live here anymore thank god, me and her did NOT get along at all. That just being a very small reason for me not liking her, but yeah no, it was so gross😷
FretlessMayhem: As horrific as this is to consider, did the dogs ever get sick or anything? I can’t fathom how I’d react if I found my dog engaged in such behavior, but I know I’d be concerned.
| 5 | 4.4 | |
1657887226 | 1657964320 | t3_vzn7t9 | t5_2to41 | 25 | IdiotsThrowaway1373: TIFU I just logged into my exes account on instagram a few minutes ago…
Im 15 btw, so is she. We broke up maybe 3 months ago, and I was bored and curious. She made a new account after her old one was hacked, so I used her new username and old password and I thought she would have changed her password or something but she didn’t and it actually signed in, idk what I was thinking, I havent slept in two days and maybe Im going crazy. I hope there was a carbon monoxide leak and I was hallucinating or something. I fucking wigging out right now. Shes gonna know because instagram tells you where people signed in from and shes gonna see my location and tell all of her friends and her new boyfriend that Im crazy. I mean I definitely am crazy but not it that way. It was a long distance relationship btw. And if your wondering I signed out instantly.
TL;DR: signed into my exes account out of curiosity thinking it wouldn’t work but it did work and now shes gonna know.
Edit: Is there a way to make it so she won’t know??? Oh my god Im so fucked
Double edit: Theres no way of undoing my mistake, I fucked up, and I guess Im gonna get fucked up.
MVSugar: You didn’t accidentally sign in to her account you very specifically and purposely signed in to her account. It’s probably going to be a good life lesson to have to deal with the aftermath of this—you need to make it a good lesson.
You fucked up, what happens now is what happens. Own it and work on your issues.
RissoldeChocolate: Life lesson is all about not giving your account details to people. She gave you her account details then shes responsible if you log into her account, it was trashy to do, but i dont understand why people feel the need to share personal credentials with parterners. People confuse intimacy and trust with control and privacy invasion.
MVSugar: No, she is not responsible for his behavior. If I give my husband the lock code for my phone that is not an invitation to go look around in my phone. Plus we don’t know that she gave it to him so much as he saw and knew what it was.
If she gave it to him with the idea that he was allowed to log in and access her account then she can’t be too surprised that he did what he did. However his intentions in doing so weren’t good so he needs to own that.
People share these things for a number of reasons, some good and maybe some not so great.
RissoldeChocolate: He said he didnt even look arround has he wasnt expecting it to work, so i dont think its that bad. I did dumb shit when i was a kid, it just sounds cringe to say: "you will learn a life lesson from the aftermath" sounds a bit too dramatic for something as irrelevant as checking if you still knew the credentials to someones account.
You said husband! Different from distance girlfriend of short term. If you give your facebook password to someone you met online a month ago then you arent very smart. I dont really know how long they were dating, but still, not married.
cloud9ineteen: There's a guy sitting in federal prison for exactly this. When a baseball executive left st Louis for Houston and set up a system, this other guy with the Cardinals got curious and tried to log into the Houston system with guy#1's password from when he was with the Cardinals. Turns out it worked and he kept doing it and looking at scouting data and stuff.
"Former Cardinals executive sentenced to 46 months in Astros hacking case" https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/former-cardinals-executive-sentenced-to-46-months-in-astros-hacking-case/amp/
RissoldeChocolate: but he acctually did it, the guy in the poat said he didnt use the information to win the lottery
cloud9ineteen: My point is I had your password from a different account is not an excuse for unauthorized access. And unauthorized access is a crime and absolutely in the wrong. You are getting downvoted because you are excusing this seriously wrong behavior.
| 8 | 3.125 | |
1657891012 | 1657892811 | t3_vzoi8v | t5_2to41 | 5 | scorpix6907: TIFU by being a depressed me bag
I (15m) got dumped in June by my girlfriend of 2 years and instead taking care of myself i sat in my room
Last night my gums in the back of my teeth swelled i thought they'd comedown if i got to sleep woke up this morning and it was infact worse
So I got up brushed my teeth and when I spit ohh lord when I spit it looked like a thirteen year old on their first period in the middle of a shit this concoction of plaque last months dinner and blood stained my sink for the 5 seconds that felt like hours the pain of my gums draining while my wisdom tooth dug in the cut was unbelievable
i got a cup of water gurgled shaked swished and spit my sink looked like a murder scene my toothbrush being the blade that had done it while the blood water slowly drained from the sink my white gorgeous interior was a red crimson mess my blue toothbrush being pinkish from brush to stem hand looking like a surgeon without a glove
Worst part gums are still swelled and I can't eat maybe it because of my third wisdom tooth growing in I have no clue I live in the mountains so it's hard to find a dentist but I'll have to so i can find out wtf is happening
TL;DR was a depressed meat bag for a month bad hygiene brushed teeth so much blood
weebeardedman: >I (15m) got dumped in June by my girlfriend of 2 years causing me to sit and my room and not be hygienic
No, you 100% caused this yourself. Your ex didn't do anything to prevent you from taking care of yourself, you did.
Seek therapy and an oral hygienist.
scorpix6907: I did phrase that like it was my ex's fault didn't I lemme fix it
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657893038 | 1657931915 | t3_vzp8bk | t5_2to41 | 61 | ThrowingThisAway372: TIFU by thinking with my dick and sending nudes to a (most likely) pedophile
I’m using a throwaway for this.
I’ll be calling the (most likely) pedophile: “they” or “impostor”
I (14M) suddenly got a DM from another Redditor claiming to be 15f.
This impostor said that they were bored and that they were taiwanese and. They eventually asked where i came from, what i was doing, and for a picture of me (i sent this, it was a harmless innocent picture of me anyways. I have a picture of me on my main account too.). And later they also asked me to switch to this encrypted chatting app called “Wire”, this is where everything went downhill.
I made a wire account and texted with this impostor, the impostor eventually sent a picture of themselves which most likely wasn’t even them. I used google reverse image search and didn’t find anything so of course it had to be legit, right? Wrong, i’ll get to that later.
Eventually they asked me to send a picture of myself again. After doing this the requests got worse. I got asked to send a picture in my underwear, and i did. And then after that i got asked to send a picture of myself NAKED. This is where i got my first suspicion. So i asked this Impostor to send a nude picture themselves, they did. This picture was basically the same girl as the previous one, i inspected this and even did a reverse image search and found nothing. So i send the nude photo (without my face, all of the non-innocent photos i sent do not have my face in them.). Then i got asked to send the same photo but without my face, i was cautious and got suspicious again. I asked if they could take a picture of themselves while holding a spoon. They attempted to gaslight me by saying: “oh, you don’t trust me 😞.”, the gaslighting didn’t really affect me but they said that they couldn’t do it right now because she had guests downstairs.
Not much was said after that. I basically went to the toilet to do a number 2 and had post-shit clarity, i realised that i was being a fucking idiot.
I used every reverse image searcher available and eventually found out that the first and second picture they sent was indeed NOT THEM. It was from this chinese or taiwanese site posted by some woman. I felt bad, dirty, disgusting.
I am going to block them and delete my wire account.
I always thought that i was “too smart” to end up in this situation. But I didn’t realise that i was in this situation until it was too late.
The worst part is that this Impostor is mostly on r/teenagers. r/teenagers has a serious fucking pedophile problem.
TL;Dr: sent nudes to what was (most likely) a pedophile while thinking it was a hot taiwanese girl.
emailusernamepasswrd: Dude internet 101: don't send nudes to people you don't know, and even sending nudes to people you *do* know can backfire severely.
Available_Platform: Could have stopped at "internet 101: don't send nudes to people"
Alternative_Age3903: Or ‘’internet 101: don’t send nudes’’
A bot could end up receiving them and mass distributing them
SotonAzri: "Internet 101: Don't send/share any personal information including but not limited to: address, legal name, picture of yourself, nudes, credit card information, etc"
| 5 | 12.2 | |
1657893204 | 1657912676 | t3_vzpaey | t5_2to41 | 2,629 | istheqthea: TIFU by almost castrating myself, getting covid, and losing $100.
TIFU FOR SURE. This FU has been happening since Wednesday morning and continues today.
A little backstory: so when lockdown started I switched my workouts generally from the gym to resistance band HIIT training workouts at a local park along with running etc. Anyway I get a surprisingly good work out with the bands but the one thing that is very hard to simulate, I find, are deadlifts (at least of any value without doing a billion reps) that said I still do them. So here's where the FU comes in - Wednesday I go to the park and I anchor my 100 lbs. resistance band using a 3 inch webbing strap around a bench. To that strap there is a carabiner attached and through it runs the resistance band with me up above doing my deadlifts etc. (you can see where this is going...)
To my surprise, the WEB STRAP of all things, fucking breaks, thus slingshotting the carabiner, which is obviously still attached to the resistance band, straight up into my scrotum at about 1000 miles an hour (not likely an exaggeration) - VERY r/accidentalslapstick in hindsight, but I digress. I was in shock, and by shock I mean medical shock, not like "oh this is shocking!" but I knew it was VERY bad because I could just feel the pain as deep as possible in my body and I was shaking and freezing all of a sudden.
Somehow I manage to get in my car and head home where I inspect the damage AND IT IS BAD. The entire area is already black and swollen. I mean my right testicle in particular got it hard but the whole area is wrecked to include my shaft which is swollen and purple (no that's not a line from r/gonewildstories by the way) and has a weird bulge of fluid in it near the base where it got hit.
Anyway, like everyone else I check the web and they say give it an hour or so and if the pain recedes it's probably just bruised, but if not, get to the doc immediately especially if you develop a fever, which I don't. So I follow the other self-treatment course of Ibuprofen and icing it. And shuffle off to try and sleep for a bit. Well, I wake up and it does feel better. Not in any shape to do much but hobble around but yeah, better. So I live to fight another day I think and continue with the pain meds and icing.
Well that day comes on Thursday. I'm up early and the pain is still VERY present so I call the nurse advice line at the V.A. (I'm ex-military) and they take until around 10 a.m. to call me back. Well, describing this to the nurse, she just keeps saying in a hushed voice "I can't even imagine..." yeah, I know, right?
Anyway, she basically says go to the doc. Right now.
So I do. It takes forever (as all emergency room stuff often does) but I get looked at with continual reactions of "I can't even imagine..." or similar every time I tell the story. I get an ultrasound and there's damage to my right testicle. The tech is saying it's probably just bruised but there's also this huge mass of blood that urology will have to make the call about.
Anyway, urology looks and says, oh yeah, that shit is DEFINITELY a rupture. So now it's surgery time, right? They might have to remove my testicle but they hope they can just cut out the dead/damaged portions and sew the little fella back up to continue the good fight. So they immediately start prepping me for surgery and part of the process is a covid test.
You can see where this is going...
So they come down with the gurney to take me to surgery and all of a sudden there's a whole kerfuffle about something and they take the gurney away (without me on it) so I'm like what is going on. Someone says something about covid and that they're having to reclean the operating room to do the surgery. And I'm like, ok, delay. At this point it's almost 7 p.m.
Well come to find out, I'M THE ONE WITH COVID! Totally asymptomatic this time, but I'm triple-vaxxed, plus had covid with symptoms in march. So yeah, good times so now I might not even be able to be operated on. But, to their infinite credit, the docs are like "Fuck this, we deal with covid all the time - we're all vaxxed, bring ol' Black Balls the Pirate in here and let's get him fixed!"
Anyway, finally they get me in. Shave off part of my right nut, sew me up and send me home to five days of quarantine and a month's recovery before I can lift anything over 10 lbs.
Oh and the best part? I was supposed to be getting my first tattoo today and because I have covid I can't, in good conscience, go to that appointment knowing I'm positive, so I lose my $100 deposit by cancelling.
Good times.
TL;DR Used a resistance band to work out, wrecked my testicle and found out I had covid while being prepped for surgery on my nuts which meant I had to skip my tattoo appointment and lose my $100 deposit for holding the spot.
Edit: Thank you all for the well wishes! Much appreciated!
ouzo84: Contact the tattooist and ask if it can be rebooked, tell them they take whole tale and they might be sympathetic
Walnuss_Bleistift: For a medical emergency they might allow you to transfer the deposit to a new appointment. Tell them you had emergency surgery.
(Ps I would recommend that even without the covid, do NOT put the stress of a tattoo on your body while you're dealing with the... other issue. Tattoos are painful and very stressful on the body, especially if you've never had one and don't know what to expect. Wait for that sucker to heal up!!) Hope things get better for you soon, friend.
istheqthea: Cheers! People keep asking what the tattoo is gonna be and I say "well I'm going to tattoo a giant bruise on my scrotum...."
Definitely a conversation stopper.
Walnuss_Bleistift: Get a broken web strap tattooed next to it!!
istheqthea: 😂
| 6 | 438.166667 | |
1657893504 | 1657899895 | t3_vzpe68 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by adding onto the already $450 that I’ve spent over the course of about a month trying to get a package of lsd sent to me
[removed]
IndigoBlue7609: Posting all your criminal efforts on the internet should be your next "TIFU" (by admitting to federal crimes online) post. IDC if you enjoy your psychoactives, personally, but outlining your activities in trying to obtain same, let alone by mail, makes me think you should probably protect the brain cells you still have while you can....
[deleted]: If he had any brain cells he wouldn't have fallen for the ol' gift card scam in the first place.
SS_Cream: yes, i’m perfectly aware that i’m extremely stupid on multiple accounts, but he threatened to send the cops to my house after i tried in the beginning to back out. i’m only still paying him because i just want this to be over and done with and not have to deal with this shit anymore
SS_Cream: i didn’t understand at the time that i couldn’t actually be prosecuted for anything yet, so i saw the sentence “i’ll have no choice but to send the cops to your house” after i had already given him my shipping information, and immediately just assumed he was telling the truth
gary4life: Sorry it really sounds like he is scamming you and has been from the start. I'd ask your friend who gave you his info what is up with this guy. It seems like he knows you're scars and gullible and just keeps adding on new excuses and $ amounts.
| 6 | 1.666667 | |
1657893288 | 1657894874 | t3_vzpbfz | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by pressuring myself to grope a girl
[deleted]
[deleted]: OP, this is some rapey shit
chrisXlr8r: Nah. Told her plenty of times to let go or say no. I even told her that a lack of response would be assumed to be consent several times. If I was rape-y I wouldn't have done that.
Also I didn't even want to grab her boob. In fact I was panicking because I *didn't* want to do it. Now I'm not gonna say I'm the victim or something like that because I know it's my fault. But you can't really say that it's rape-y
[deleted]: It is pretty rapey, especially the 'I will take silence as consent part of it'. That is the most rapey part (other than your glee at recalling it some years later)
chrisXlr8r: Well yeah the silence part does make sense. But it wasn't just silence. She had my arm pinned to her. I wanted her to let go of my arm. That would've been a response too and she didn't even have to say anything.
She wasn't high or drunk she definitely had the capacity to consent or not. If anything she had a larger capacity to consent or not she was at least 2 years older than me. Her 15 and me 13. I didn't force her into that situation.
The reason why I have glee recalling it is *because* I know I didn't assault her.
Also in future months she'd have me place my hands on her thighs and rub them and told me that her neck is one of her "spots". If she felt uncomfortable she wouldn't have just been giving me unsolicited advice on what she's into and having me do them.
| 5 | -0.6 | |
1657888118 | 1658908349 | t3_vznify | t5_2to41 | 6 | KoroSenseiOwO: TIFU by trying to buy a baby heartbeat monitor
So I'm pregnant and it's my first time so I have a lot of anxiety about it, mostly just me freaking out because I don't feel him kick me when I'm working and I'm worried something is wrong. Which I know probably isn't the case but still, I can't help it. So I decided to get a heartbeat monitor so I can have a lil peace of mind between my doctor appointments.
My boyfriend let me use his debit card to get one because he gets paid before I do, but he fell asleep before I could find one I liked, which in hindsight, I should've waited until he woke up but I was excited.
Well I ended up locking his debit card somehow and he was stuck at the gas station this morning because he didn't have the gas to make it to work and had to call someone to pick him up.. it's like 6:30 and this happened like 20 min ago and I feel HORRIBLE. His bank doesn't open till 9 so he's basically fucked until he's able to call them and explain what happened.
TL;DR I tried to buy a baby heartbeat monitor while my boyfriend slept and ended up locking his debit card and making him late for work:(
K1llG0r3Tr0ut: When my wife was pregnant her Midwife strongly suggested we do not get one of those heartbeat monitors. She told us that women who get them freak out when they can't find the heartbeat with it. My wife ignored her suggestion and got a heartbeat monitor. It was dandy at first but, sure enough, one day she couldn't find the heartbeat with it, freaked out, and off we go to the ER just for them to tell us everything's fine.
Solid tifu story though, probably could have explained a bit more how you got his card locked (wrong date, wrong name, too many attempts, etc).
KoroSenseiOwO: I think it was the too many attempts that locked it, I tried like twice and it didn't work. I probably should've just left it alone after the first fail! And yeah I get scared when I can't find his heartbeat too but I try not to worry about it too much, I just lay down and wait until he kicks me again. I'm pretty sure I just don't feel him when he does kick while I'm actively moving around doing stuff!
And sorry I just seen this comment, I'm not on reddit much
| 3 | 2 | |
1657857666 | 1657899234 | t3_vzf4jj | t5_2to41 | 3 | Fishy0307: TIFU By trying to do art and craft
I have a problem with any thing related to art and craft that is to believe that I can do anything, even if I know nothing of that type of art. I've already started to do watercolor and crochet because of that. Last night, I thought " Why not start a new thing?" After looking up a bit, I've found what I wanted to do and decided to go buy the material the next day, now today.
So I did that before going to work and came back from work at 10 pm. I ate a little and decided to go start doing my project. Since my room is an absolute mess and that my desk's chair disappear of my room, not that I would have been able to do something on my desk, I've decided to go on my bed with a small table.
I also have another problem that is to lost everything in my bed. Sometimes I loose my phone and I have to take all of my bedsheets of to find it (I have like five bedsheet and sleep with all of them every night). By trying to do my project, I've lost something.
That wouldn't have been a problem, but the craft that I chose to start was embroidery, and the thing I lost was a sharp needle. I've look in all my pillow that I have, all my bedsheets and my table(just to make sure I wasn't just dumb and it falls in a crack) but didn't find it. I even shake my sheets and pass a magnet on them but I still didn't find the needle.
I work tomorrow morning, so I cannot just not sleep, and I also know that, with my luck, there a high chance that I ended up finding the needle in the middle of the night because it would hurt me. Let's just hope I'll be lucky enough!!
TL:DR: I've lost a needle in my bed, by trying to do embroidery, right before going to sleep and still didn't find it.
Edit: I'm pretty sure, because with me there is never zero risk, that I just find the needle! It was beside my bed at a place I never walk, so my feet are happy for that. Is there a chance that it wasn't the needle I've lost and just another one? Totally. Was I looking for something else when I found it? Yes. I've I lost my phone two time during the process of finding the thing I was looking for? Also yes. Am I a big ass mess? ABSOLUTELY!
MashedSpider: Maybe tidying your room should be your next project?
Fishy0307: That what I'm planning to do lol
| 3 | 1 | |
1657899171 | 1657906293 | t3_vzrjvc | t5_2to41 | 8 | FuckthefuckingCCP: TIFU anal dipping
[removed]
ortolon: Got dangit, Bobby...
Squigglepig52: 6 am, and already the boy ain't right.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657899901 | 1657904177 | t3_vzru1c | t5_2to41 | 38 | thewobblejobble: TIFU by showing a cashier/waitress my shit
First time poster, I hope this doesn’t violate rule number 4. But anyway, on to the story:
I have been dealing with constipation recently. It has been around a week now, which quite put me in some discomfort. Anyway, today I had breakfast in a nice bakery. I live in Germany, where bakeries often have space to sit-in and eat, and, of course, nice German bread. I ordered and took a seat. I had buns with jelly, bread with cheese and a big cup of hot chocolate.
After I was done eating, I soon noticed the long-missed feeling of having to poop, so of course I went to the bathroom and got my business done. But… when I was done, I detected to my utter horror that the toilet flush did not work. Fuck. I just couldn’t let my turd, which was exactly the size you would expect after one week of not pooping, sit in the toilet and walk out the door, right?
So I decided it was best to go to the counter and explain the problem. Mind you, I was not the only customer and the customers kept coming, so I just couldn’t wait until they were gone. There was still the possibility that somebody would visit the bathroom in this very moment and see my giant pile of digestion. Well, I had no other choice but to tell the employee (whispering, I hope the other customer didn’t hear that) of the bakery that the toilet flush was out of order and wanted to ask politely for a bucket of water or something, in order to solve this problem myself. But before I could even ask, she said *“Oh no, not again!”* and went straight to the bathroom, with me following in terror. *Did I close the toilet lid?* No, of course I didn’t.
The lady was probably expecting I only peed, but she was certainly not expecting to find a pile of shit that size after she has seen me, a 1,57m/5.15ft female. She gasped, then closed the toilet lid really quickly before fixing the flush.
**Tl;dr**, I went to the bathroom of a bakery and realized too late that the flush didn’t word. Lady who worked there wanted to fix the flush and saw my giant turd.
awpiiii: Any person would've left, but not you mein deutsche freund, you were responsible for your shit and I respect you for that
thewobblejobble: Thanks. I really regretted my decision and actually wondered why I didn't just leave silently.
awpiiii: It's fine OP, it was out of your control anyways
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1657900863 | 1658031455 | t3_vzs7o7 | t5_2to41 | 30 | Stripbadguy: TIFU by watching a woman strip
I was on a live-stream today and I was talking with this woman who said she was doing strip shows. She asked me if I wanted one and I said yes. We went to Snapchat and I had my camera pointed at the wall I wasn’t showing my face. We talked and she did a strip show. After a while of talking she asked me if she could see my face.
I told her that I try to keep my regular life separate from the stuff I do on livestreams. She got really upset and said that she was going to put me on blast and get her revenge on me for what I did. I wasn’t trying to make her upset I just didn’t know she cared if she saw my face or not. The whole time she was stripping she never asked to see my face.
Right now she has taken a lot of screenshots of our conversation and she’s saying that she’s going to expose me or something. I’ve told her that I’m sorry over and over again. She asked me if I recorded what she did and I swore that I didn’t record. I really didn’t. She stopped responding and now I guess she’s going to try to get some kind of revenge. She keeps saying she’ll stop her revenge if I just show her my face.
Tl;dr I watched a woman strip without showing my face
halvora: I doubt she will get any revenge, she probably wanted to see you face to screen record and blackmail you. You did a good thing.
raelik777: 100%. She is trying to blackmail you. She's ALREADY trying to blackmail you, but without having a picture of you it's completely toothless. Do not give in, and just block and ghost her.
| 3 | 10 | |
1657902190 | 1657946439 | t3_vzsqfp | t5_2to41 | 16,130 | lissie_ar: TIFU by telling my kids “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time”
TIFU by telling my kids “don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time”
I have 4 boys. It is important for me that they understand that they are responsible for their actions. I always tell them their actions have consequences, good or bad, and they need to remember that especially when they make bad choices. A few months ago I put my 6yo in time out for doing something he knew he shouldn’t have done. He has adhd so he’s very impulsive and always getting himself into something. He was crying about being in time out. So I told him that when we knowingly and purposely make bad choices we don’t lie about it or try to hide it we accept responsibility, accept our consequences, then move on with our life and make better choices. Then I said it.. “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” A few days later he didn’t want to do his homework. I told him if he didn’t he would be grounded. He said “for how long?” I told him for the rest of the week no TV or Nintendo. He said “ok that’s fine” and he didn’t do his homework. Now he questions everything and does the time for his crimes. Lol “Eat your vegetables please” “What happens if I don’t?” “No dessert””Ok” “clean your room” “what happens if I don’t?” “No tv or Nintendo until your room is clean” “ok” “Don’t eat that candy” “what happens if I do?” “You won’t participate in family movie night” “Ok fine I won’t eat it.” I’ve caught him a few times telling himself “nah, maybe I shouldn’t do that” so there’s some progress. Lol
TLDR; Told my 6yo don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Now he questions the “time” for everything and sometimes even accepts it.
Zaynara: when the punishment for a crime is a fee, its legal for the rich! he is rich is time and doesn't mind spending some, lol smart little bugger.
byneothername: This is like when a daycare starting adding a small fine for a late pickup and suddenly more parents were picking up their kids late and paying a fine. They had to revamp the system.
Zaynara: ... just keep increasing the fine a buck a week or something, start raking in the $$$!
archiangel: Ours is a buck a minute past closing. I’ve ubered (-$15) to avoid being 5 minutes (-$5) late. Which I realize as I’m typing this seems backwards, but I also really don’t want to be THAT parent 😅
WhisperedEchoes85: Any Uber driver with a half a brain would not allow any unaccompanied minors in their vehicle. It's against the TOS and no insurance (Uber's or the driver's) would cover anything if they were ever in an accident. You could also be held liable as the parent since you agree to the same conditions.
Just a heads up.
planetcesium: I think they mean they ubered to the daycare to get there in time, not put their child unattended in an uber.
WhisperedEchoes85: Yes, that possibility exists. But so does the scenario I detailed. Without further information, I see my comment as "Just a heads up"... as I said.
soberintoxicologist: “I’VE ubered to avoid being late.” How did this lead to that? It feels more like you just wanted to say something regardless of whether it was relevant or not.
WhisperedEchoes85: "I've Ubered" implies that they are the driver. We know that's not the case, based on context, so that's not it.
Considering the statement is slightly ambiguous, the best we can do is narrow down the possible intended meaning(s). "I've Ubered to avoid being late" must, then, mean one of two things:
1) They ordered an Uber to bring them to daycare, retrieve their child(ren) and bring them home.
2) They ordered an Uber to retrieve their child(ren) and being them home.
Now, why did I assume the latter? Because (as a driver), I know that you will never be able to book a round trip with a stop for $15. It's simply not possible. And, even if I assumed wrong, my statement has value seeing as jt was made in a public forum where anyone can see it and someone else may have been unaware.
My comment may have had no value to *you*, but it still carries inherent value in general. Can you say the same about yours? Or perhaps
>you just wanted to say something regardless of whether it was relevant or not.
soberintoxicologist: No, people don’t interpret “i ubered” as “I ordered an Uber for my child in daycare.” You interpret “uber” as a verb to mean driving because you’re a driver, this is projection. Your assumption is just so outlandish that it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
WhisperedEchoes85: So I'm not free to interpret something but you are? Got it 👍
soberintoxicologist: That conclusion is actually right in line with your displayed interpretation skills, believe it if you need to. But I think it’s pretty clear that your interpretations are not in line with others and that you’re blatantly ignoring context for the sake of being argumentative based on your upvote/downvote ratio on your original comment. Now you’re making yourself the misunderstood victim. It’s a whole ass vibe. Not a good one, but one nonetheless.
WhisperedEchoes85: **I explained how *I* came to *my* conclusion. I explained why my statement had value even if my conclusion was inaccurate. I've made it clear that it had no ill intent.**
I actually do have a medical diagnosis that would explain why my understanding may have been skewed, and if I wanted to be painted as the victim, I would have explained that, but that is none of your business and shouldn't affect how you choose to interact with others.
You have chosen to take offense to something trivial, try to paint me as an idiot, and ignore my explanations. It is absolutely clear to me that you have nothing better to do with your time than practice your keyboard warrior skills. I'm not sure what has happened in your life to make you feel the need to do that, and I won't even make assumptions because that is not my place. Regardless, I hope your day ends better than it started.
If you would like to continue this conversation with an ounce of respect and decency, I'm all ears. Otherwise, I'm done defending myself from your unnecessarily poor attitude.
The_Power_Of_Three: Speaking as a third party with no investment in this fight:
*Stop.*
You are 100% in the wrong here, and you're being a total ass about it to boot. Just take the lesson and try to do better in the future.
WhisperedEchoes85: To be clear, this was what got that person all heated up:
>Yes, that possibility exists. But so does the scenario I detailed. Without further information, I see my comment as "Just a heads up"... as I said.
I made a comment informing parents that they could potentially find themselves in some trouble if they weren't aware of something. I literally did nothing more than a PSA that harms absolutely nobody, but could help even just one person.
This person decided to take it upon themselves to ridicule me for trying to be helpful.
What am I to learn from this?
| 16 | 1,008.125 | |
1657902108 | 1657915504 | t3_vzspaz | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my S/O access to my gmail account and she found old nudes
So yeah, i gave her my gmail so she could watch amovie i rented on youtube. and im ngl, a few years ago on tumblr i paid for nudes and they were sent there and i starred them. i genuinely forgot that they were there as i rarely check my mail. she was logged in on my gmail on her safari app and she
found them there. back in 2020 we broke up for somewhat the same reason only it was on snapchat. but thats a story for a different time. we came back to each other late last year when we were both going through a rough time. and been "together" ever since. with various visits back home and here
at the base i live at. (i'm in the army) i have changed my ways for a long time and the past is thrown in my face a lot. ever since 5 AM we've arguing back forth over the phone and texts. i really wish i wasn't such an idiot and could change the past but i can't. maybe i deserve it?
TL;DR my S/O found old nudes in my gmail account and has been arguing with me all morning
eat_like_snake: >paying for nudes
Bruh, you can find porn on the internet for free.
pewpew_89: There really is porn in the internet? And it’s free? You’re kidding right?
Some people want specific/weird/rare kink/noneofyourbussines stuff and may pay some money for it.
eat_like_snake: If your paraphilias are so extreme that they can't be covered by the wide variety of things already out there, readily available, I feel that's better taken up with a shrink than paying for some thot's OF or whatever.
And yes, people can do what they want, but I can and will still judge.
Comprehensive-Buy443: Exactly !!!
| 5 | 6.8 | |
1657904519 | 1657916185 | t3_vztmpe | t5_2to41 | 10 | THE_dumb_giraffe: TIFU by using a substitute for lotion as my first time with lotion and now my dick burns
Yes this actually happened today, and it's still going on
I'm a 15 year old teen. And like any other teen, I have a wank from time to time.
But I have never needed to masturbate with lotion or anything, I don't know why, so I never used it or any substitue of it. But today I was exceptionally horny and decided to use some lotion for the first time.
Now, the Fuck up starts here.
I had no lotion at home, so I decided to find a substitute. I found this hydrating cream and thought: "That'll do fine".
So, I put some of that cream in my hands and get to business. And once I'm done, I feel a little itch on my dick, which turns rather quickly into a burn.
Now, I'm just stuck with some hyper-religious parents who hate masturbation like it's Satan and a burn in and on my dick.
TLDR: Masturbated with a hydrating cream, turns out I should not have done that and now my dick is burning, and my hyper-religious parents are gonna kill me when they find out I've been wanking
slarti54: I more concerned that your parents inspect your penis at 15 - otherwise how would they know?
THE_dumb_giraffe: Oh they don't know, I haven't told them,where have you read that?
slarti54: my hyper-religious parents are gonna kill me when they find out I've been wanking
THE_dumb_giraffe: Well I said it cause if it didn't fix itself I would have needed to go and tell them to see if it's THAT serious
| 5 | 2 | |
1657905070 | 1657910565 | t3_vztuk4 | t5_2to41 | 98 | throwaway7789982oi: TIFU by accidentally unmuting on zoom
Today I decided to attend my professor's office hours online as I had some questions leading up to the exam. Unfortunately due to the fact of our exam coming up, that meant lots of other people also had questions and attended.
Some other background information, I suspect I've had a uti for a couple days and wanted to make an appointment. So there I am, sitting back in my chair while unknowingly not muted on zoom listing out all my piss symptoms to a doctor while everyone else hears in horror. I wasn't looking at the zoom so I didn't realize it until after the phone call ended.
Worst part is this will be recorded and uploaded for the rest of the class to see. Hopefully my prof is tech-savvy enough to edit it out but I don't have high hopes.
TL;DR: I was unmuted on zoom and ended up listing all my uti symptoms to a doctor, that all my classmates and professor heard.
oniontomato3: Urine big trouble!
Alternative_Touch798: Damn
| 3 | 32.666667 | |
1657904425 | 1657912384 | t3_vztl98 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my friend that my coworker thinks he’s hot
[deleted]
PowerPixel01: I think the best thing you can do right now (imho) is to talk it with your coworker, that you're interested with him but you said that they can "have him" only nervously. If your coworker is comprehensive enough, it should be fine. Then you can tell your friend your feelings about him. Honesty is the best way to avoid crumbling under either lies or regrets. :)
DC15seek: Naaa let's the boy gets with the friend like the dude possible thought hey I like hanging out with this girl but since she friendzone me twice and told me about her friend who was the girl I like and thinks I'm hot I'm going to erase these old feelings with my friend and mark her as a friend and nothing more and hope the girl that thinks I'm hot be my possible gf like it's better for the girl to keep the dude as a friend please let's the man try your friend
PowerPixel01: I mean, it's never too late. You won't get anything with a mindset like that. Better be honest and if he's a real friend, he'll understand. Life isn't always good or bad, so why not try honesty ? Would it really be better to keep these feelings bottled up ? No, it would be more toxic than anything, imo.
Thanks for the downvote, tho. :)
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1657910041 | 1657977350 | t3_vzvs2x | t5_2to41 | 26 | Keeganat0r: TIFU by using a pumice stone on my feet and stank up the whole bathroom
Obligatory on mobile. Anywho, today I used a pumice stone on my feet cuz they're a little more dried out than usual alright whatever, no big deal. Grab the pumice stone thingy, it's like one of those that's got the cheese grater looking thing on the other side and like an emery board and a brush for wiping away all the dried skin, which more just ends up flinging dead skin all over the place in a damp foot skin mess (lost you yet? Gag...). So get scrubbin and our bathroom mind you is in a room with my cats litter box and our big fat Maine coon took a big ol duece while I was grabbing scrubby. It stank pretty bad so I put my shirt over my nose and got scrubbing those feetsies. Yes I could've just gone in another room but didn't feel like it. About halfway through the smell started to get a little weird, like moldy cheese. Didn't think too much of it and finished scrubbing and put on my slides and proceeded back to my room where upon entering I thought I could smell cat shit on my shirt which was a little sweaty cuz it's hot AF where I live and I just got out the shower so it was humid in the bathroom plus I thought I could smell it on my hands when I wiped my long ass hair out of my eyes... Shit, the smell from the cat must've stuck to me cuz my wife says she can smell something too. I tread back upstairs to investigate thinking, maybe it's the pumice stone. I sniffed it and almost gagged. We keep it in the shower and it's like a good year or so old but we hardly ever use the damn thing so I dunno maybe nasty water was in it or something. But yeah, remember how bad I said the brush was? Moldy cheese smell all over the bathroom, my slides, and my clothes. Re showered and scrubbed my hands with body sugar and everything I can find and it's still not going away. I can smell it on my hands, hair, everything. Ready to try tomato sauce and vinegar at this point. Gonna go super clean the bathroom now I guess.
Tldr; Used a moldy pumice stone on my foot and stank up the joint, tried to blame my cat.
My_Cat_Louie: If you got a bottle of lemon juice, rub that all over.
You can also take a bath with a little bit of bleach. Sounds extreme, but think about it. What do you put in a swimming pool? Chlorine. So your pretty much in a mini pool but in your bathtub.
candledog: Bleach contains chlorine but pools do not get filled with bleach. Be safe
My_Cat_Louie: I learned this as a treatment for eczema
Randalfin: And athletes foot. Any type of fungal infection really, a half a cup of bleach in your bath water can do wonders.
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1657904648 | 1657975020 | t3_vztolc | t5_2to41 | 483 | etoilesadventures: TIFU by forgetting three kids at the school
Mobile, English isn’t my mother language etc.
I work at a sports themed summer camp where we take kids from their houses and spend the day by doing various sports themed activities everyday. Anyway, I was pretty ill (sinusitis is sometimes a hell) and I was working under heavy painkillers and muscle relaxers. So you can only imagine how my brain was. I was supposed to be taking care of 25 kids in the shuttle I was responsible in. It was also the first day of the new kids, their name cards did not arrive yet and.. well, the inevitable happened and I mixed not one, not two but *three* kids and took *three* children that were supposed to be picked and dropped off by a different shuttle. I’ll call the kids Edward, Caleb and Joshua (not the real names) for convenience. Halfway to one of their house, my coworker calls asking “Uh, where the hell is Edward?” My brain goes all panic mode. At that moment I didn’t realize *yet* that I had two more kids over in my bus that weren’t supposed to be there. We were close to Joshua’s house so I thought to myself I’ll drop him off, and meet with them back at the school. All good,, right?
We drive to the Joshua’s house and the mother asks “Hello, where is Joshua?” I smile, turn my back and realize Joshua is not there… I turn to the driver and say “We f’ed up big time.” The mother, understandably, is pissed. I was already late for drop-offs and on top of it this happened. She corners me and demands an answer and berates me saying we trust you with our child yet you fail to get him here. I try to think of a reasonable lie but there is no way I can get out of this situation. All I can say is “Yes m’am, I apologize m’am” and the mother asks for my manager’s number saying there is no way to excuse what I did. She causes another 15 minutes of delay by refusing to let the bus go. My manager is trying to do her best to calm her down on the phone by saying “M’am, they didn’t forget your child at a random location, they’re back at the camp.” Mother called the father and said “OK, we’ll pick our kid up.” while he tries to calm her down saying these stuff happen.
I make my way back to school, my other manager calls and says “How the hell did you do such a mistake?” and literally closes the phone without awaiting an explanation or giving me directions lmao. He just called to say this. I drop the other kids off and take the kids I was supposed to have and make our way back to our original route, drop the kids off and lie to the parents saying “We are like an hour late due to heavy traffic and roadblocks” etc. Didn’t get fired though! (yet)
EDIT: I was not driving under the influence of such meds, I don’t even have a license—being the bus attendant to help picking kids up and dropping them off is part of my job.
TLDR; Working at a summer camp, mixed three kids up at the drop-off and didn’t realize til we made our way back to kid’s home.
Lameduck0123: I wanna know who’s prescribing pain killers and muscle relaxers for sinusitis
etoilesadventures: *it was self medication, which is a whole other TIFU*
sterfri99: You don’t need a lecture, as you saw the consequences of your actions. But when self-medication interferes in your work life to this extent, especially when you’re responsible for children, you need to take a step back and make a lifestyle change. Good luck, mate
Spectre92ITA: Tbf, when he's that ill, he should be allowed time off. The self medication is bad, sure, but the majority of the blame is on OP's company for forcing them to work while debilitated really. I was a manager somewhere before and I'd always allow for sickness when it was something as mentally debilitating as that. Might be blunt but people who can't think or focus are just a liability at that point and it's only humane to try and give them some time to recover and get in touch with their GP to find a suitable solution to keep them alive while they work, especially when in touch with the public.
etoilesadventures: Plus, it’s not a job where I sit on a desk and fill out paperwork. I didn’t mention this but I work in a non-english speaking country and all our classes are in English—it’s more like an integration program for foreigner children; who are usually children of ambassadors and high-ranking academicians. Been working there for almost 2 years now and these ocassions sadly weren’t the first (thank god first fuck up of mine) and not the worst, and really, I don’t think my boss is aware that of the risk.
*So imagine a lawsuit coming from such powerful families.*
Efficient_Macaroon27: They would have to sue the school and not you. You'd have been at home if they had let you off. Even if not, the business has to take the blame.
| 7 | 69 | |
1657913760 | 1658031201 | t3_vzx6v2 | t5_2to41 | 312 | withoutalone: TIFU by cursing around my aunt!
Well I just wanted to effect this out in the universe because I don’t know where I’ll be in the next hour or so. A little backstory, I’m currently living with my uncle and his wife, my uncle is cool, my aunt is not. I came before covid because my uncle had a heart attack and needed someone to look after him. Now that he’s doing well she wants me out immediately, my uncle thinks that I should stay until I find my own place. She didn’t have the greatest of upbringings and she has always projected it through being selfish, commanding and not understanding those around her. She’s tried numerous occasions to accuse me of things, the worst thing was that 10k had gone missing, she used it for various things, a retirement party, a diamond ring, a new AC unit and a replacement refrigerator, but was adamant that I had taken it. Even though all of this is ongoing my uncle trusts and believes in me, but he’s also afraid of his wife. The house is pretty toxic, I literally stay in a room with the door closed for 80% of day until I sneak to get food (my own of course), use the bathroom etc. Today she had been walking around so I hadn’t be able to go to the washroom for the past 3 hours, so I tried leaving the room and ran down the steps, she happened to be coming up and startled me andI let out an “oh shhh” and walked back to my room, not directly at her, but I was genuinely surprised. She called me out on it and it was literally the only words we exchanged for the past two years. So now I am awaiting my fate I don’t know if this was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I become homeless or it may be a minor thing that will effect me for the next few days. Anyhow wish me luck, I’m almost there…I secured a place and getting out within two weeks, they don’t know about it yet and since she’s actively looking for ways to kick me out I shouldn’t have made such a mistake. TL;DR: Moved across the country to care for uncle, nursed him back to health, covid hit and I have no place to go, my uncle wants me to stay, my toxic aunt falsely accuses me of things and wants to kick me out, I’ve been living in a small room 80% of the day, I typically sneak to use the washroom, today I ran into her and let out a curse word, she heard it, called me out, now I’m waiting to see if she’s kicking me out. Update: Not sure if I’m allowed to update such an old thread, but if I am here it goes. My cousin hasn’t talked to me since last week, this week he stared me down like he wanted to fight, I didn’t pay my mind to it, stared right back at him and went on with my business.
jarcur1: I like how his TLDR added a cousin who is clearly an important piece of this story. But d, if this gets you kitchen out, consider it a blessing.
As a matter of fact, if you want to really turn the family against this ain't, here's an UPLT:
NEVER tell them that you've secured a place and either key them much you out with within the two weeks, or wait until you can move in to the new place and go hard and loud on them, explaining that your rather be homeless than stay here another night.
Then storm out, walk a couple blocks, then get to your new place.
Hell, it might just give your uncle the fortitude to stand up to his supposedly overbearing wife.
BuzzedtheTower: Between this post and another one, it is seeming like people are forgetting how to TLDR.
jarcur1: Or what TIFU means. Both of them are kinda like you fucked up by committing a pretty mundane act. Spice it up Reddit!
TL;DR: Some people have a much blander idea of what "fucked up" means.
Edit: grammar
BuzzedtheTower: I agree. TIFU should be something like "I accidentally fucked my cousin in the ass when we were high on coke." Not, "I accidentally said shit and now I'm in trouble"
SacredSpirit123: Except that’s flagrantly against sub rules, falling under ‘heavy drug use’ and ‘obscene sexual content, especially incest’ in the sidebar rules, meaning that your example would be taken down in moments.
BuzzedtheTower: Ok, I didn't mean it literally. It was a hypothetical of a real fuck up and not something dumb
SacredSpirit123: Ah.
| 8 | 39 | |
1657914153 | 1657926378 | t3_vzxbz7 | t5_2to41 | 38 | emrawrrr: TIFU by walking home by myself at night
So I'm a 16f and a couple days ago I was at my friends house hanging out with a few people. I got there pretty early and it was fun. They all live within a few minutes of each other and don't have far to go at all. I live the furthest away and it's a 30 minute walk.
Well it was around 10pm and I left my friends place to walk home. I kept my earphones out and tried to walk fast. As I was about halfway home I ran into a couple girls that don't like me and they are a lot bigger than me. I'm super thin.
They started getting closer to me and laughing at me. I went to just run away and they pushed me down and hit me in the face a few times. Stole my airpods and I got a busted lip. I really didn't know what to do and just went home and my parents took me to the hospital.
TL;DR: TIFU by walking home alone at night, getting jumped and getting a busted lip and stolen headphones
SmittyManJensen_: AirPods are traceable via the “find my” feature on your iPhone. Report them stolen to the police and provide the tracking information to them.
BBBHMM: Agreed with this. 100%!!!! If they have a iPhone they FU.
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1657916469 | 1657923535 | t3_vzy6px | t5_2to41 | 8 | RemyVampVuitton: TIFU by getting caught vaping at work
This happens 15 minutes ago and I am so embarrassed I think my life is over. Today the building is pretty much empty. My boss also almost never comes out of his office but he still has to walk around the corner to get to my desk. I was on a lengthy phone call and was pacing around an empty office next to my desk. I was listeing to a bunch of contract numbers and out of boredom instinctually pulled my little juul out and took a puff. At that EXACT moment my boss had come around the corner to say goodbye for the day. He always looks annoyed so I couldn’t tell if he was upset or not. He said “you can’t do that in here” but still said have a good weekend. I just started this job and I really like it did I ruin everything?
TL;DR
Boss saw me vaping in an empty office, tbink I ruined my whole life now
Flaxscript42: The key is to not make the same fuck up twice. In fact, if you can stop yourself from doing this again, you have just given yourself a new performance metric to meet and exceed!
No_Comfortable_8852: This is a great Behavior Therapist answer. Kudos.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1657918533 | 1657933546 | t3_vzyxx7 | t5_2to41 | 37 | CoffeeAndCats2000: TIFU by teaching my toddler her first swear word
TIFU when I was flying back from a small Greek island with my MIL and my 2 under the weather children. (Baby was teething and sister had a high fever the day prior so was in recovery mood not covid we went to a Dr and got tested, she got sun sickness ) My husband took the ferry back w our car. So he was not with us.
This older French guy and his wife were unhappy bc in the waiting room we chose to sit in the corner by the window instead of in the main area that had ac. We took three seats one for each of us and I had the baby in the stroller.
They came and complained that we were taking up too much space. Moved my stroller w my baby in it. Into a corner in which it got stuck then complained when I had to get it out. I said nothing. Fine they hate kids but I was not going to start and argument in a small airport.
Then going threw security he happened to be ahead of us. This time my toddler was in the stroller being a toddler loudly talking about everything and the baby was strapped to me. He turned around and kicked my stroller. With my CHILD on it. A man standing next to us was like “hey now” and I very loudly said “you are such an asshole” then I loudly told the whole plane why he was an asshole in a loud discussion with the guy and my Greek MIL. Who ranted in Greek so all the Greek workers on the Greek island were very aware of this guys behavior and were glaring at him.
My toddler ended up sitting in front of him on the plan and she kept looking at him and telling MIL and I that he was an asshole. When we landed and took the bus to our baggage claim we were right next to them. My toddler noticed and loudly said “mummy it’s the asshole”
I am so careful w the words I use in front of her, and try to do gentle parenting. However this guy kicking my stroller w my CHILD in it made me so mad that I lost my temper. And Now my daughter can swear in English.
This can go either she thinks his name was Asshole. Or she knows I was calling him a name and will call me that one day.
Such a parenting fail.
[telling my husband I corrupted my daughters language](https://imgur.com/gallery/l0aYUTQ)
TL;DR I lost my temper and called a grumpy old man an Asshole and now my 3 year old knows the word.
Slothy13eva: If it makes you feel any better, when I was 2 and sitting on my grandfather's lap I proudly said fuck and mentioned that my father uses that word. Our entire family laughs about it now
-Daunting: When I was about 4, I met a great Aunt for the first time. Apparently I’d picked up some stuff at school, because when I think my grandad asked what I thought of her, I apparently came out with “she’s a funny fucker”… no words. Kids say the most hilarious things.
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1657920130 | 1657920936 | t3_vzzj74 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Savings-Welcome165: TIFU by asking hte barista for her breast milk
[removed]
algoporlacara: Who looks for a girlfriend on reddit man.
bewst_moar_bewst: Same folks who look for sex on tinder/grindr/etc.
algoporlacara: I don't think so, one is a place designated for it, the other isn't.
bewst_moar_bewst: /r/r4r would like a word.
algoporlacara: Damn, there really is a sub for everything 😩😂.
| 6 | 2.166667 | |
1657922830 | 1657923943 | t3_w00is6 | t5_2to41 | 15 | thisthrowawaybb5: TIFU by giving a homeless guy money to buy me alcohol
I'm a 17M and a couple days ago my friends and I wanted to drink. Now my dad and my friends parents are too strict and wouldn't buy us anything. None of our older siblings were around either. We had the money gathered up and I found a guy on the street near the beer distributor and asked him if he'd go in and buy us a few cases and bottles of liquor.
At first he didn't want to, but after asking for a few minutes he agreed. So I gave him the money and told him what I wanted. About 20 minutes or so goes by and he comes back out with nothing saying that they wouldn't sell it to him since he didn't have any id.
He was then arguing that we should let him keep some of the money because he went to do it for us. He didn't wanna give the money up so we let him keep $20 and left. So all we ended up doing was losing 20 bucks for the night with no drinks. Kinda fucked up my night.
TL;DR: TIFU by finding a homeless guy, asking him to buy us alcohol, he wasn't able to and he kept some of the money.
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: Yea, kinda wish he pulled a knife and robbed you.
Just casually begging dude to commit a felony.
thisthrowawaybb5: I had no other options
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: Other than trying to get some random dude caught up in a felony, you had no other options.
Like. Not drinking. Option 1.
thisthrowawaybb5: You act like he would've got caught lol.
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: Aite kid. Well, if we're ever in the same area, I'll buy you a few thousand dollars worth of liquor. Just bring the cash. I definitely wouldn't make it a point to rob you
thisthrowawaybb5: It would be funny to see you attempt to rob a dozen 18 year olds
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: Some homeless dude just did it.
thisthrowawaybb5: Ehh that was given to him though. But whatever
| 9 | 1.666667 | |
1657922875 | 1657972199 | t3_w00jc7 | t5_2to41 | 15,680 | Craniumulumuh: TIFU by getting my grandpa into Video Games
I (m/18) recently built my only living grandfather (m/ 80) a low spec gaming computer to forestall his light dementia, when i get a frantic call from my grandmother screaming that he had spent over 500 dollars on a combination of "Bluestacks Emulator" "Thunder Game" and "Cowboy Western" Am currently in shock on how one could spend 500$ on Clash of Clans gems and Golden Eagles when I never even mentioned those games and only installed Red Dead and some casual card games on it. He must've spent at least an hour opening loot crates in War Thunder and another 45 minutes opening in some Call of Duty game before he got banned from World of Warcraft for "some odd reason" he says he'll be going back to the casino to "get his money back" and just now stormed off.TL/DR; My Grandpa with dementia ragequit a video game so hard he's driving away. Update 1: He seems to have taken some edibles across state lines
Clarification 1: I set his Google to Safe Search so that he wouldn't spend money on "phone girls" like he used to back in the day. Update 2: Just Remote Accessed his computer and changed all mentions of his card in browsers to an empty Visa Prepaid card. Clarification 2: Banned from WoW for "Harassing Chinese Account Farms" Clarification 3: I did ease him in with the puzzle games and sports games but this was months after the fact that he became a cold blooded gamer.Final Update: This was apparently all made up by my uncle while drunk during a prank call I'm sorry. Was genuinely worried because this was all in character for him.
Final Clarification: The Prank call was from Grandpa.
KGrizzle88: Man this stuff scares me. Having my future old self reverting back to my degenerate ways because of dementia, man that would just suck.
tubaman23: Dude wtf I didn't even think about that. I thought of it as your mind just starts disappearing. If my brain at 80 decides to delete the last 60 years of existence, my degenerate 20 year old ass would ruin me
flamingoeater: Shit. I'd be there with you. Buying coke and whipping out my titties while binge drinking, apparently.
KGrizzle88: Right just imagine how taxing that activity alone would be, like good lord.
Tiny-Room-9318: AT 80.... whipping out titties dropping to your knees and sniffing more white powder than you’ve had in the last 60 years combined... you gonna die.
Nezrite: But what a way to go?
dudemo: I was recently diagnosed with carcinoma cancer. The prognosis is not good.
In my short life, I did everything right. Married the love of my life, adopted two beautiful children, saved money where I could, invested well, and had enough fun to be paraplegic for well over half my life.
Know what I regret most? Not whipping out my titties more. Know why? Because. It sounds goddamned fun.
Nezrite: More than half the US states allow women to be topless in public - Banana Boat those babies up and get to strolling!
I'm sorry for your prognosis and I hope you're able to make the most of every day, ideally having some goddamned fun every one of them.
Catshannon: Plot twist they are a guy
dudemo: Indeed. I am. Doesn’t mean I can’t whip out my titties to have some fun, does it? Fuck man, I’m dying of cancer for gods sake.
Catshannon: Other poster was talking about beaches having rules about topless women so I said plot twist as a joke. Dont here many men wanting to whip out their titties and regret not doing so.
I mean as dudes we can go shirtless pretty much any place which is great in summer.
Sorry to hear about your prognosis wish you the best.
Hopefully now you can plan for it and go all out.
did you make a bucket list?
dudemo: Never had the chance. I was diagnosed in December. So I went to Germany with my wife. Two month later it’s in my lymph system, and spread. Palliative care now, my guy. I’ve made my peace with it as best I can.
KGrizzle88: Maybe we can all catch each other on the flip side. Enjoy the remainder of the ride bud. 🫡
dudemo: For sure. I’m holding the door personally for my wife. I’ll have legs that work, too.
Really, what gets me by? The thought that I’m not the one going away. ***All of you are!*** Chew on that for a while. I don’t die. The world does when I do.
firefly183: Look at you leaving a wave of existential dread in your wake! We surely won't forget you now :p.
I mean it, when my time comes I'm asking Afterlife Customer Care, "Where's u/dudemo?!". And, sir, I expect to see some titties when they send me your way. Don't let me down! Keep shining your high beams down on us all! <3
dudemo: Deal! Like Oprah…
You get some titties! You get some titties!
| 17 | 922.352941 | |
1657922539 | 1657926350 | t3_w00evf | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my crush I liked them
[deleted]
weissmanhyperion: There is no help for you, the ball is in her court now. You can only wait. She will choose to say yes or no, you could set an arbitrary time limit but if she doesn't say yes within a reasonable amount of time then you know the answer is no.
Everything else is just fluff, oh I don't want to do long distance, I just got out of a previous relationship. If she doesn't say yes then it is a no. Thats the bottom line, once you drop off the baggage do not pick it back up. Chances are she might hit you with a "ive been thinking about it for the past *whatever amount of time*". DO NOT let her tie you down like that, you need to move on after the rejection. I'm not saying don't be friends and completely cut her off, but you need to move on and find someone else. You cannot just put your whole life on hold for one person.
Don't say you like her as a friend. You enjoy her company because you are interested in her. If you did not want to pursue a romantic relationship then you would feel otherwise. There is nothing wrong with that but there is a huge difference between enjoying someones company than liking them as a friend.
weissmanhyperion: You could enjoy someones company for many reasons, it could be you guys have similar backgrounds. You guys can chat all day. There are millions of reasons why someone enjoy someone else's presence in a platonic way.
Liking them as a friend means you are interested in her but don't want to ruin whatever you've got by asking her out. Thats not good because you gone into the relationship with a goal in mind and that is not to be friends. You put yourself in the friend zone.
weissmanhyperion: I would say a majority of people cant distinguish between enjoying someone's company and liking them romantically. So they put the two together, hence "liking them, but as a friend." Its the worst thing you could ever hear from your crush.
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1657925353 | 1657928835 | t3_w01fea | t5_2to41 | 5 | CasPlayersSuck: TIFU by hitting a child with my car
[removed]
jeffnethery: Accidents happen everyday. You should have stopped and helped the injured child. You would never have be charged if you didn't do anything wrong.
because_of_ghosts: That’s super not true and you shouldn’t share false information. You should look up a couple things: Murder, Manslaughter, Vehicular Manslaughter, or Negligent Manslaughter. If you kill someone on accident due to negligence, you’re going to prison.
jeffnethery: If OP was negligent or distracted or speeding or intoxicated, then OP is at fault and would be charged. If not, we would need to know more about the circumstances to render judgment.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1657929911 | 1657942868 | t3_w03019 | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing the deed after playing with my dogs.
i (22m) am allergic to dogs but i have 2 dogs that my allergies really don’t have a issue with because i’ve had them sense i was 12. my dog is a pit bull and he is 10 years old so i rarely get to see him active anymore so when i get the chance i’ll play with him to keep him active. i’m really only allergic to the dog spit it gives me hives and it’s really itchy. this morning i just got home from a business trip and haven’t been home for 4 days at this point i had my cousin keep the dogs for me. when he dropped them off my dogs where jumping on me exited to see me and they drooled on me no problem i’ll just take a shower and it will all be good.(it wasn’t good) at this point i haven’t had the chance to do the deed in probably 2-3 weeks and my girlfriend(20f) is still in college so i’m all out of luck so before i shower i do the deed and hop in the shower and clean myself. after i get out of the shower i dry off and put some clothes on. about 10 mins later my cock starts itching like crazy and i really don’t think anything of it. my arms and legs are itchy too then it clicks. i take a look down under my pants to see my penis looks like a uncooked hotdog because of the hives and it’s starting to burn because i’ve been itching it a lot so now for this whole day i’ve had a hotdog for a penis that burns like the pits of hell with no chance of stoping it at this point.
tl;dr: i did the deed after playing with my dogs that I’m allergic too and got hives on my penis.
YokoPoko56: Lmao. This beats the time that I had to take a bic lighter to my dickhead to get a tick off of it.
[deleted]: no i think yours beats it you got lime disease in your nuts bro
Jason_Kirby: Take some Benadryl my guy damn
| 4 | 11 | |
1657930887 | 1657974178 | t3_w03bra | t5_2to41 | 6 | juniperFlower19: TIFU by sitting on my sister 😅
So I’m Sam I’m 19 and my sister April is 10, she was laying on the floor watching TV (stranger things) and I came downstairs in my Pyjamas and wanted to watch it with her. She had already started the episode and was a few minutes in which was kind of annoying but it’s whatever. I came in tho and decided since she was laying down I decided to come in and sit down on her back as she was facing the TV as a small punishment (mainly as a joke) so that she wouldn’t do it again. I stretched my things out and covered her arms as I ate my cereal as she was underneath me. I asked if I was heavy and she said kind of in a bit of a struggling voice although she didn’t seem to mind that much and it was actually kind of comfy so I continued to sit and unintentionally shuffled forwards. This is when she started kicking my back with her heels. I told her to stop but I just got harder so o looked down to see she was struggling and moving her head around a-lot so I asked what was wrong and she kept trying to push up and was kicking harder. I finally shuffled back and she let in a huge breath of air leading me to realise that I was crushing her chest. Now keep in mind I’m quite a heavy girl at 230lbs so this was understandable. She didn’t seems to mind when I was further back on her tho so I continued to sit for the next 2 episodes to her dismay.
Tl;DR: I sat on my sister and almost suffocated her.
redbucket75: People are overreacting. People who haven't sat on elementary school aged kids in the prime tv watching spot don't live with elementary school aged kids.
juniperFlower19: D’ya think she’d be able to carry me, I walk her to school often but it’s been gettin real hot lately and i get tired af.
redbucket75: Worth a try
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1657931383 | 1657936296 | t3_w03hif | t5_2to41 | 17 | Taraxoxo6: TIFU by telling my dad that I don't work
Let me start this by saying I'm a 25f. I haven't worked in a few years and I've just been living with my boyfriend. He's been able to do well enough to provide for us and I really don't enjoy working so it has been good. My parents and family have all been working. A couple of days ago I was over my parents house and my dad asked me how things were going and after I told him that I haven't been working for a long time, he was pretty mad right away.
He started telling me how he's upset and he believes I should be working like the rest of them. I tried explaining my reasons to him, but he didn't wanna hear me and just kept getting angry with me. I finally told him to fuck off and left their house. I probably won't be talking to him for awhile after this and I kinda feel like I fucked up by going over in the first place to be completely honest. A few people I've told about this have had mixed reactions with me.
TL;DR: TIFU by telling my dad that I haven't worked a job in several years, he got mad at me. I told him to fuck off and left.
Eskaminagaga: He's just concerned about you. Having large gaps in your employment history is not good if you intend on working later. Also, if you had been working all this time, you could have been saving up to purchase/pay off a house and earn equity.
Taraxoxo6: With this economy, I'll never own a house lol
SdotPEE24: I'm a black man from Detroit, at one point my mom, sister and I didn't have a home of our own and we had to stay with family. I'm now married with 2 kids, almost have my first brand new car paid off within 4 years, wife has been working part time the last 2 years, and I just bought a 2nd home.
Because it's hard you aren't going to try? Sounds like a cop out to not put in the effort. Yes it's hard, and expensive, you will be rejected which never feels great, but a defeatist attitude will get you nothing.
Taraxoxo6: Wow, that's awesome that you have achieved all of that. I'm genuinely happy for you.
I guess part of it is I've never really had the strongest work ethic, drive, etc. Then it seems very hard too so I guess you are right.
SdotPEE24: Hey you know what the problem is, now you just have to work on fixing it. Nothing worth having comes easy.
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1657931870 | 1658076417 | t3_w03nc1 | t5_2to41 | 4 | FuzzySplitz: TIFU by bagging groceries
I (16M) am a new bagger at a local supermarket. An old man comes through the cashier, acting generally strange, and smelling really strongly of cigarettes. He aggressively throws me one bag and says “bag” and the cashier starts scanning his groceries. First of all, this guy has wayyyy to many groceries to fit in his one bag. Not only would it overflow, it would be really heavy for an older man, and crush groceries under it. Along with this, he has fresh meat and produce, which shouldn’t be bagged together, cleaning solution that shouldn’t be bagged together, and eggs that would get crushed by everything else. I so largely regret just asking him “would you like the meat, bleach, or eggs bagged separately?” Instead, i just instinctively started bagging with other bags, and filling them up (he had a ton of groceries). The plastic bags i used cost him 10 cents, and when he realizes this he goes berserk, screaming “i want my 10 cents back you p*ssy *ss sh*t.” He goy super pissed and stormed out. Its only my second day, thoughts on if I see this guy in the store again?
Tldr: guy gets pissed i used extra bags to bag his groceries
Kawaiito: where i'm from grocery stores work a bit different than what u described but when i worked as a cashier i had to encounter all kinds of weird ppl.. just don't overthink it and keep doing your job.. as long as this stays off ur personal life it won't be an issue
i would still report it to someone higher up just to be save and if he really comes back, recognizes you and starts raging again u already got the backing of your workplace.. at least that's how it should be
as others said get used to this and keep it at ur work ~ gl on your job :)
FuzzySplitz: Thank you :)
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1657933134 | 1658091494 | t3_w042hy | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting my 'special sock' in an otherwise empty draw.
[deleted]
End2EndBurner: Not that there's anything wrong to play for the other team but why would you name it "John"
RentBoyDave: In my head I considered him more a friend than a lover. Not that I cum in my friends.
Eurus-Holmes-: Damn we can’t be friends anymore John :(
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1657935316 | 1657939345 | t3_w04rw5 | t5_2to41 | 38 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #31! Come share your stories and hang out!
PheonixGalaxy: u/JC1812 I’ll give this talk my free award if you sing
JC1812: 😅
PheonixGalaxy: Do it please 😂
JC1812: Later!
PheonixGalaxy: Excuses!
| 6 | 6.333333 | |
1657935202 | 1658060316 | t3_w04qlg | t5_2to41 | 840 | FortiethAtom4: TIFU by trying to empathize with my coworker.
This happened a couple hours ago.
I am a college student, and before today I had no job. Thus, I am poor. Backstory over.
Today I began my new part-time job as a dishwasher at a local restaurant. They were desperate for extra hands, and I needed the cash to fund my endless random hobbies.
I get there dressed in a blue polo and white shorts. For anyone not in a restaurant-type job: those are terrible choices. So I'm off to a great start.
The manager kind of sort of explains how the whole dishwashing process works. I nod, then mess it up immediately after he walks away. Luckily there's another guy with me whose name I have forgotten, so I'll call him Joe. He swears like a sailor but is the nicest man I've met on the staff thus far. Teaches me the entire process front-to-back and helps out between prepping dishes in the kitchen.
Eventually Joe and I hit it off and begin making conversation as we work. By this point the restaurant is closing, so we're dealing with a big pile of pots/pans/utensils left over from the kitchen. Suddenly he looks at the clock and starts rushing a bit. I think he saw me react, so he chuckles and says he needs to "get the hell out of here" within the hour. I chuckle, too, and politely reply, "Well, we all want to get home. I can understand that."
He gives me a look. "Oh, no. I'm just going back to jail."
He's got a giant monitor on his ankle.
Whoops
TL;DR: I try to politely empathize with a coworker rushing to close the restaurant, expecting that he wants to get home. Turns out he's in jail with a curfew.
Edit, I guess: I understand that this isn't a real FU now, just an awkward situation. I had my second shift just an hour ago and Joe and I are friendly as ever. I was just worried that I had appeared condescending by implying I had a home to go back to and he did not. Thankfully that doesn't seem to be the case.
Maybe I should've just stuck to telling my friends the story instead of posting it on Reddit for a hundred people to tell me the same things. Why am I even posting this, anyways? Karma, I guess? Bandwagoning? Whatever. I hope you enjoyed the story, at least.
VeranoEte: No fuck up here. You just a massive dose of the real world. We were all once young and naive too, it happens. Sounds like you handled it well. But don't let this warp your impression of him and start to treat him differently. For you this is a begining and for him this is another chance but we all meet at some point in life.
implodingseahorse: Yes, please don't treat him any different now that you have that knowledge of him. The world is already cruel to people who want a second chance anyway.
Little story time. I was at a greyhound bus stop that is in the same town as a prison in Texas. Prison bus shows up in the parking lot, let's out a bunch of women with their little mesh bags, and leaves. They come in, everybody is avoiding eye contact. They stand in front of a vending machine and struggle for a few minutes, laughing among themselves and looking around. No one near them was acknowledging them, like they're frickin invisible. So I walked my butt to them and explained to them how to see the prices for each thing and what to do. They were very friendly and explained how this is so much different from when they went in. I said my goodbyes and they was that. They were just trying to purchase what I assume was their first snack after prison, and everyone just assumed the worst. idk if they are good people or not, all I know is the world already ignores them as it is, and makes their life more difficult, even if they are trying to do something as simple as learn how to use a vending machine.
woahwtfisthis: Props to you for being a good person
| 4 | 210 | |
1657939431 | 1658087616 | t3_w063ia | t5_2to41 | 2,311 | BarGroundbreaking720: TIFU by rushing to lose my virginity
I’m 18 years old and graduated this year. I got accepted into CAU (Clark Atlanta) so that’s where I was planning to go in the fall. I’m really excited about college too, i’ll be the first in my family to go to.
I’ve never really had a real relationship barely even a real damn kiss so when I graduated a VIRGIN i knew i had to make something shake because what the hell. Everybody else around me was having fun and here I am.. barely even having a first kiss.
I decided i was going to ask my friend to take my virginity since we were both going away for school and probably wouldnt have to see each other for a while if it was awkward. I ended up asking him at a birthday party my friend had and he said he was down.
Couple days after that I went to his house and it happened. It wasn’t what I expected and very very overhyped but it was fun i guess, if we don’t talk about the excruciating pain..
Everything was fine after that and me and him just continued as friends. It wasn’t weird or anything. It was fine until I noticed I was a couple days late for my period. I just let that go because my period doesn’t always come on time. It was going on 9 days late so I just took a test and it came back positive, took another one, positive. I didn’t believe it so i went back to the store and bought 4 more.. all positive. I just sat on the floor and cried.
WHY TF THE ONE TIME I HAVE SEX I GET PREGNANT?! Why did i have to be so fucking unlucky? I just scheduled an appointment with an OBGYN and cried for days lol.
Today was my first appointment. I did a urine test and got my first ultrasound. It was so little. I cried i’m not going to lie lol. I’m measuring at 7 weeks and 3 days. I’m so nervous but excited at the same time. I haven’t told anyone yet. I really don’t think i’m ready for a baby but i’ve got plenty time to think about it and consider my options. I kinda know I want to keep the baby but I still haven’t told the babies father yet so idk.
I still want to go to school but I don’t know. I want to try to take a year off but I might just go and thug it out and take the year off after I have the baby, IF i have the baby. idk. Kinda think this is my dad teaching me a lesson from above lmao. He always told me to wait for marriage.
TL;dr Was a virgin until senior year, asked a close friend of mine to take my virginity after we graduated and now i’m pregnant.
Pyrollusion: So let me get this straight: You planned on getting layed and you knew when you wanted this to happen and you didn't do anything to prevent pregnancy?
What the fuck are they teaching you about safe sex over there?
Didn't you waste a single thought on the possibility of getting pregnant? Holy shit, multiple people failed in this story and this includes you, your parents, your teachers and society as a whole. This is a tefu.
GeneralSecura: And she's going to college so she's supposed to be pretty smart. Bloody hell.
roostertree: Ignorance and intelligence are discrete traits.
One can know how to think and also not have all the information they need to avoid life's pitfalls.
Oglark: Also in some states there is no real sex education.
Anything-Still: I'm sorry u can say this as many times as u want, but in the back of my mind im still thinking there's the internet.... kids look up porn but they cant look up "how not to get pregs"?
PanzerKommander: You see that requires discipline and common sense that most kids lack.
roostertree: >PanzerKommander
Opinions being what they are, the Nazi perspective is rarely a valuable one.
PanzerKommander: Can't find a flaw in an argument so you attack a disposable user name?
roostertree: Disposables are formatted differently. But nice try.
Say, did you call yourself the commander of a WWII German tank and nat zee that coming?
PanzerKommander: All Reddit handles are disposable. Actually, so is all social media. The only thing that isn't is person to person contacts.
roostertree: And here you are, u/PanzyKommandzy, proudly ACKCHYUALLYing with your lovely Nazi handle that's as disposable as every Nazi.
PanzerKommander: So you are incapable of making an argument or using critical thinking skills gotcha.
Actually, kinda like the OP, assuming the story is true
roostertree: >you are incapable of making an argument
Oh please. You didn't even have the guts or wherewithal to directly criticize OP. You directed your crit to another commenter, and even then made an oblique generalization about what you think a person like OP might be like. Such a strong and well-reasoned argument.NOT
I am not surprised a Nazi wannabe is that kind of weakling.
PanzerKommander: Actually, I did, you just choose to comment on my other response to another redditor because it was higher up in the feed.
Though, with your lack of abilty to form an argument, I must say I'm not surprised you can't even do a bit of research. Critical thinking and the ability to find new information go hand in hand.
roostertree: Yeah, let's find free time and "research" a Nazi username's comment history. Does a wee Nazi have feelings of self-importance today?
I don't like cheap shots, but when you obstinately lean into a concept you can't spell ("lack of abilty \[sic\] to form an argument"), it's not a good look. That kind of lack of attention to detail will disappoint "superior" Nazi bosses, at least by their reputation.
PanzerKommander: Still no coherent counter argument? Still can't think for yourself? Still can't see past a shallow username? Wow, you do a great job of being extremely similar to what you claim to hate...
roostertree: O child, what did I claim to disapprove of other than Nazis?
Remind me of the brilliant argument that started this thread. Hint: There wasn't one.
PanzerKommander: Let me think... I think I said that OP lacked the discipline and common sense to properly research how to avoid being pregnant in the age of the internet, despite \*planning\* on losing her V-Card.
roostertree: No, you said "You see that requires discipline and common sense that most kids lack." It's not an argument, just an observation. And a deeply ignorant generalization at that. Typical.
I have a poem for you.
Today is a brand new day
Find a way to go away
| 20 | 115.55 | |
1657940610 | 1658011116 | t3_w06h0v | t5_2to41 | 34 | mrdalo: TIFU by trying to go to a Motley Crue concert
So two and a half years ago Def Leppard and Motley Crue announced a stadium tour hitting all the major MLB stadiums. I’ve been a big Crue fan for years and quickly arranged for my friends and I to go. Bought 4 tickets and then… Rona happened.
I mentioned to my parents several times that I got tickets and complained about how the show was delayed twice but it was FINALLY happening this year. I think my mom only heard “he likes Motley Crue” and for my birthday got me tickets. To the show I already had tickets for. My mom was super excited though and told me she got me meet and greet passes for the bands and that the seats were “premium”
As we got closer to the show I ended up selling my tickets for a loss because my friends who were supposed to go two years ago cancelled. They forgot it was even happening and had other commitments.
Finally the day of the concert I pay the obligatory $50 for parking and walk to the stadium with my mom. I ask her where the meet and greet is and she gives me the printer paper tickets out of her purse. I quickly notice the tickets aren’t in her name and the price for each ticket is $149.50. Way too cheap for a VIP package. Plus the tickets were purchased from something called “ticketnetwork”. I access her email on my phone and see she purchased them from this strange vendor and got a very uneasy feeling. I found her original invoice for the tickets and noticed how much she paid- $1213 for two tickets.
I told my mom I didn’t think the VIP package was legit. She had no emails mentioning it and no instructions on how to take part in the VIP areas. We ended up going over to the box office and found a super helpful agent who thankfully confirmed our tickets were real but the VIP meet and greet wasn’t happening. He encouraged me to check the VIP tents to see if my last name or the name on the tickets was on their lists. I checked with them and the names were absent.
My mom was gutted. She spent $1213 on $300 worth of tickets. I offered to take her out to eat but she wasn’t having it. We got in line and it was 82° outside. My mom told me she was going to leave the line and stand in the shade by the gate until I caught up to her. I looked over every few minutes and noticed my mom was collapsed against the gate barely holding herself up. I rushed over to her and told the security guard to summon a paramedic. We ended up taking her to the stadium medical center and she had super low blood pressure and acute dehydration. They gave her 2 bags of iv fluids and sent us on our way.
Then we finally went to the seats my mom purchased. They were nice enough to wheelchair us over and it turns out the seats my mom got were way worse than the ones I gave up for a loss.
We ended up staying through the beginning of Motley Crue, the only band I was there to see really, but their audio mixing was AWFUL and painful to hear. So we left early and drove the 3.5 hours home.
She’s ok now but it was definitely scary. Just sucks my not computer savvy mother tried doing something nice and got taken advantage of.
Tl;DR Mom got me tickets for a concert I already had tickets for, ended up getting scammed for $900 and then had a serious medical emergency because she didn’t drink any water all day.
Kqhbabies: Give your mom a huge hug for trying. Even with everything she tried hard to do a good thing for you. Seen Crue 3x, they were awesome. Sorry your show didn't meet expectations.
mrdalo: Even the local publications took Crue down a peg by calling out the horrible audio mix. We were among a stream of people leaving the show early because it was so bad.
Kqhbabies: I have been to those concerts. The let down of disappointment after spending the money on tickets, gas, and everything else.
mrdalo: The art of the sound check was lost that day.
Kqhbabies: Maybe the Crue needs new crew.
mrdalo: Crëw
| 7 | 4.857143 | |
1657941421 | 1657942101 | t3_w06qfl | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by not knowing my headphones disconnected while I was watching TikTok
So this JUST happened. Every Friday night my husband plays online games with his friends. I spend this time dicking around on my phone. Now. I just recently got TikTok. So lately, I spend Friday nights scrolling TikTok. We both have wireless headphones. His are noise cancelling, mine are not. He has a mic to talk to his friends. So partway through scrolling I take a break to go pee. Come back, throw my headphones on, keep scrolling. I watched a few videos by this mom of autistic kids that I follow, flipped to the next, and it's a cosplay thirst trap thing that opens with "Oh, you're dirty". I stop and go...*Wait...Why is it so quiet? Wait...oh shit ,my headphones aren't connected! Oh shit. It's not that it's quiet, it's full volume. The autism vids were just really loud and I could hear them better.* And the whole time I'm realizing this, the thirst trap video is still playing. And I realize my husband wouldn't be able to hear it....BUT HIS FUCKING FRIENDS CAN, BECAUSE HIS MIC IS ON.
And now I can never look these people in the face ever again. Please kill me.
TL;DR: Accidentally played thirst trap dirty talk full volume for all my husband's friends.
sld126: They’re jealous.
crowleyoccultmaster: I'm jealous.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1657942634 | 1657944976 | t3_w073pg | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my girlfriend
[deleted]
TangerineDream82: Are you serious? Your relationship is so frail that after years of being together, asking a simple question results in a breakup?
Is this like normal for people in your generation?
roulettedares77: Right? She was just looking for a reason and he gave it to her.
Some-Change4587: Yea the more i think of it there wasnt really any effort coming from her at the end of it. I shouldve realized lmao
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1657939383 | 1658029238 | t3_w062yr | t5_2to41 | 163 | yakaw: TIFU by going outside on a sunny day while on 2 different antibiotics.
We're on vacation in North Carolina. Yesterday while fishing with my nephew, he caught a hardhead catfish. I was taking the hook out to release the fish, when it squirmed and got me in the hand with it's pectoral fin barb. About 1-1.5 inches into my hand, right through a ligament. Turns out hardhead catfish release a venom when they barb you, and I got a good dose of that because the fish was stuck in my hand for 5 minutes, stuck in the ligament. It hurt like hell for the rest of the day. Easily 9 out of 10 pain.
I sweat it out for a few hours but eventually went to the ER, got a Tdap booster and they also gave me an antibiotic shot and 2 different high dose antibiotics to take orally for 10 days. Apparently hardheads are notorious for causing bad infections.
Today I went out to the dock fishing for a few hours. It's a covered dock, and I put sunscreen on. Still, I'm sitting here at 10PM with sunburn on my arms, neck, face, and legs bordering on 3rd degree burns.
I'll upload photos in the comments when I get better cell signal.
Be safe out there this summer. If you fish, handle the catfish carefully, especially saltwater species and other venomous species - hold their belly, under their pectoral fins. Don't get near the spines/barbs on their back either. Also, avoid the sun if you're on antibiotics - especially if it's high doses of multiple different antibiotics. Apply a *ton* of sunscreen if you have to go out.
TL;DR TIFU by going outside on a sunny day while on 2 high dose antibiotics, thinking I'd be fine fishing for a few hours since the dock is covered, so I was in the shade. Don't do what I did. I'm very badly burnt.
Crazy-Space5384: Yes, the usage guide for a specific antibiotic I had to take recently explicitly warned about heightened sensitivity to UV radiation. I take this stuff seriously and stayed indoors.
yakaw: Yeah, today I'm back outside but I covered myself in 70spf sunscreen. Really lathered it on. Unfortunately nobody is told me about the risk, until I googled it after I got burnt.
Sydewynder4WS: Something else you might want to try, if you don't want to have to deal with reapplying sunscreen, is uv protective clothing. I burn very easily and whenever I'm out on the water I wear a uv protective hoodie from Simms. Thankfully I am the same size as the mannequins at a small outdoor shop nearby, so I can get them at a discount when they change the clothing displays each season. There are also gloves and long sleeve shirts without the hood available from a number of companies.
| 4 | 40.75 | |
1657944046 | 1657944860 | t3_w07j77 | t5_2to41 | 23 | Whyworkonlyfew: Tifu by dying my hair
So yeah know how some people just let the intrusive thoughts win sometimes? That was me like an hour ago.
I decided that I needed to redye my hair yet I didn’t have time to go to the Beauty store to grab some more hair dye so I decided to use what we had at the house.
Now don’t get me wrong, the colors alone would be very pretty however my brain decided to part the seas like Moses and split dye that shit. So that’s what I did.
With purple and blue hair dye. Now I’m case you haven’t caught my flow there was a meme a while back with some dude from what I think is adventure time or something, he was a bird, and twilight sparkle. The main colors??
BLUE and PURPLE. So now I’ve got to walk around knowing full well that I have a fucking meme on my head.
I decided I’m not going to tell anyone about this and if my teenaged coworkers are not able to see it than I’m in the clear I guess.
Anyway, if you’re gonna do some stupid permanent stuff maybe make sure that the colors don’t correlate to a fucking meme.
TL;DR, I dyed my hair in the fashion of a fucking meme with a god damn bird and a unicorn singing airplanes for who knows why.
Brandanpk: Mordecai from Regular Show is who you are thinking of
P.s im a 28 y/o man. Your teenage co-workers will 100% know
Whyworkonlyfew: I’m close enough I think. Thanks for the insight though
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1657934519 | 1657972253 | t3_w04irg | t5_2to41 | 5 | mistakeimade: TIFU by not telling my “girl bestfriend” my brother walked into the room
[removed]
thebunnywhisperer_: Info: so are you actually romantic and just don’t want them to know?
Gacsam: Conservative means wearing chastity belt all your life doncha know? That's how they made op
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657946011 | 1657953822 | t3_w084de | t5_2to41 | 23 | l0stintheabyss: TIFU by eating a low sugar protein bar with a big meal
My(27F) boyfriend(32M) and I are trying to bulk, so about two weeks ago we decided to buy costco protein bars that have 2g of sugar, 10g of fiber, 20g of protein, and 2g of Erythritol. When my boyfriend tried one he thought they were disgusting and I thought they were okay. So, I decide to eat them regularly for the next two weeks. I start to notice by the second week that I haven't been pooping as often as I usually do, but I don't think too much of it. Today, I ate a protein bar with a glass of milk and decide to eat a huge plate of spaghetti with another glass of milk. After 30 minutes I start to not feel so good. So I go to the bathroom, hoping to get it all out, but nothing comes. Just gas that burns my butthole each time it exits my body. I get up to rest and get a slow rhythm of constant farts that feel hot and wet, like you can't trust them.
It's now hour 8 of this, and the room I decided to stay sequestered in now smells like the pine scentsy mixed with fresh diarrhea. I took Pepcid 5 hours ago.
TL;DR I've been eating protein bars with Ethryitol (sugar replacement) for the last two weeks, and this last one has been giving me fiery gas for the last 8 hours.
L31FY: You're lucky you can eat that stuff. Any of those artificial sweeteners that end in -tol like erythritol I'm apparently slightly allergic or at least very intolerant to because I get violently sick in the sense I get massive diarrhea, extreme cramps, nausea, and a severe migraine until it has exited my system. This is somewhat congruent with other things I've been unable to ingest to an extent so I truly believe it to be a food allergy or intolerance on my behalf.
eatshitake: I can’t tolerate them either. I had one sugar free Werthers and I was ill for two days. Does anyone know why they affect some people so badly?
Buckabuckaw: Werther's uses maltitol, which is well-known as a laxative agent.
eatshitake: I know that, I'm asking why sugar alcohols make some people ill. This isn't a laxative effect, it's more like an allergic reaction.
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1657948199 | 1657948619 | t3_w08qpc | t5_2to41 | 24 | catfuckingahandbag: TIFU By Frenching My Partner
So I'm in my 16th week of pregnancy, and for whatever reason the both of us are insatiably in the mood maybe 3x more than we were before. We've always had a very good open and honest sexlife.
Getting onto my fuck up, I saw my partners lil man was set to go so I become topless, and he starts to caress and squeeze my breasts. Of course this leads to a very hot and heavy make-out session (am I allowed to go into this much detail rn???) Well as we're making out and scratching our clothes off of one another, becoming primal, he starts to French me, which is only for when we're both in the mood for it. It feels great. So I consent and let him into my mouth. I sucked his lip, suck on his tongue, we tongue tango and I'm getting so into it I don't even realize it but I'm drooling at this point. Have you guys ever seen NSFW anime where the characters are making out and there's a literal line pulling of spit/drool? That's exactly what happened. It just felt so *so* good. I was ready.
After the deed he tells me to please not spit in his mouth. I told him I'm really sorry, it was drool, it won't happen again, I just have never gotten that deep into the frenching before and was drooling while it happene, also panting and I thought, ONLY in the moment that it was really hot. He did not. Which I respect and vowed to never do again; I felt terrible because he just continued and never said anything. I said "I brushed my teeth when I showered! I'm sorry ;^;" He was understanding, said it wasn't like that, and even chuckled
TL;DR-I became a literal hentai girl making out with my partner and it ruined the mood and he didn't tell me.
Emergency-Upstairs58: I want this. I don’t know why, but I do
ShutUpForMe: 0 calories, irrational smh
| 3 | 8 | |
1657951423 | 1657975019 | t3_w09ml9 | t5_2to41 | 5 | thegetfitkid: TIFU I fell through my A/C vent and created a massive hole in my student housing
I live in student housing atm and we had taken the vent covers out of the floor because the ac doesnt work and its sweltering hot. The A/C doesn't even seem to work at all without doing so.
We're currently moving and I couldn't see my feet because I was moving a box and I accidentally stepped in one and my foot broke right through... into my roommate's room and caused a large hole in the drywall. I'm anticipating a huge cost for this probably into the thousands. Although my roommates insist that they don't think it was me (they weren't home) the damage pretty much perfectly lines up to where I fell through. My roommates say I shouldn't say anything and that they're just gonna submit a work order, but I was thinking of going and admitting it. I don't have the money for the repair. I'm in school and I work at a coffee shop so I have no clue what to do I don't think I could even sell enough things to afford to pay for it and that aside most of the things that I have, I need for school. We were so close to getting out without even the slightest bit of damage and I feel like such a dumbass.
Do I be honest and probably get charged or be dishonest and also be charged? Does anyone have any sort of idea of how much this could cost?
Tldr; I fell through my vent and into my roommates' ceiling and probably caused thousands of dollars of damage.
Fit_Ad_7681: >I'm anticipating a huge cost for this probably into the thousands
I'm not making fun of you, but I'm guessing you've never dealt with a drywall repair before. The materials to fix it are very cheap and your landlord likely has most of it lying around already. Between materials and labor, I'd guess it's probably going to be no more than a $100 job.
thegetfitkid: No no that helps me feel better, I guess when my roommates sent me the picture I immediately assumed the worst haha
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657953974 | 1657982273 | t3_w0aalg | t5_2to41 | 8 | Convenient_account: TIFU by getting drunk
TW puke, eating disorders
Not a major one but I’m still not proud.
Last night I was out with friends drinking. Always been strong against drinking until I was 17. Weird for a Scottish person Ik. Been dating my current partner for a year now. 19 and I rarely vomit. I hate vomit. It’s close to a phobia for me. Last time I was sick I had to have been 10 or so.
Last night my partner came out with my friends to be the sober driver. Friends all got a taxi however so it was just us driving home. The level of drunk I was wasn’t new and I felt amazing. idk what the issue was but they had to pull over so I could vomit.
It was embarrassing. I hated the feeling but I’m grateful I was too drunk to feel it properly if that makes sense. They were there supporting me, patting my back, reassuring me. Hell they even called me hot mid puke to keep my ego from deflating. My first time vomiting from alcohol and it had to be infront of them.
When we got home my partner got me water, made sure I got in my pyjamas, brought my dog into my room to sleep with me, supported me through my drunk tears of how I have “anorexia”/“Bulimia” from vomiting (I have been diagnosed with disorderly eating but not anorexia or bulimia). They kneeled next to my bed until I fell asleep, telling me how much they love me. How they wouldn’t choose anyone else over me.
I don’t deserve this person. They are so kind and caring. I’m the hottest mess you’ll find; a mentally ill light weight drinker with mummy issues.
Felt so ashamed to have to be taken care of. It’s the small things I wish I could have done last night if I was sober. Walk them to the door, give them a proper goodnight, care for them like they care for me.
It was a good night and it was all good until we got in the car. Dancing, laughing, music, the usual Friday night club scenario. It wasn’t even motion sickness. My body just wanted to embarrass me. It definitely helped with the hangover but I wish i came home alone in a taxi so they didn’t have to see me like that.
I don’t want them to view me any worse than I already see myself. I wish i drank less. I wish I got drunker so I couldn’t remember it. Either work better than the anxiety I have right now.
Ik it doesn’t seem like much of a fuck up but it feels that way. It feels like such a big fuck up. Normal 19 year old activities I guess but I hate it.
TL;DR I puked last night infront of my partner and I hate myself for it.
altacc28824728: They? U only have 1 partner right?
Convenient_account: Yup, just the one
altacc28824728: Oh haha i got confused cause u said they and them but its just pronouns
| 4 | 2 | |
1657947979 | 1658178367 | t3_w08ohg | t5_2to41 | 28 | Emergency-Upstairs58: TIFU by eating a pomegranate
To start off, I take a pre/probiotic and it usually speeds up my morning poop so I don’t have to go right when I get to work. Well today I forgot to take it, so when I got home, I took it. All was well…until I decided to eat an entire pomegranate (just the seeds of course). This pomegranate was probably the biggest I have ever seen and it was the first time I have eaten one in years. So I take out all the luscious seeds and sit my ass on the bed and eat them all. Now I was fine…for about 20 minutes. Then I swear the whole world was going to war inside my stomach. I RAN to the bathroom.
Now this happened in 3 stages. First declaration of war, a decent warning poop. Healthy, firm, lovely. Then my stomach made a noise that I have never heard before. My whole body started getting hot, I was sweating. That’s when I knew I was in the trenches. The next round of fire was your typical diarrhea. Terrifying, explosive, but relieving. I thought it was over. So I wiped the sweat from my brow and sat there to rest for a minute…but the war wasn’t over. My body convulsed as the rest released in a liquid matter. I questioned all decisions in my life that lead me to that exact point.
After it was over, I just kind of sat there, covered in sweat, avoiding tears, knowing my family would be happy that I didn’t pull an Elvis and pass away on that toilet…but I was surely close.
TL;DR I ate a pomegranate for the first time in years and I took a crap that I thought would cost me my life.
whiskeygambler: The real reason that Persephone had to stay in the Underworld was because she spent the next several days pushing out the pomegranate seeds that she had eaten /s
Emergency-Upstairs58: well damn 😦
| 3 | 9.333333 | |
1657955484 | 1658005439 | t3_w0aout | t5_2to41 | 1,311 | Abezethibodtheimp: TIFU, because I picked up a crow wrong
This happened an hour ago, and I feel like a jerk to birds across the country :(
Background necessary: I like crows, I live near a park.
So I was walking in the park. Mid morning, the moon still peaking through a golden sky, dying remnants of sunset caressing the encroaching baby blue.
In the road, barren and empty, I see on small black bundle of life: a baby crow sitting serene on the pavement.
I approach, slowly yet surely getting closer. And as I take my final steps towards it, it sits, staring with innocent, clouded, sapphire eyes, up at me.
I lean down, and gently stroke it, soft feathers beneath a soft touch, and yet it merely leans its head into my hand.
The next moments are spent bonding. I then scoop it up, and it furls into my hand. Eventually it hops off once again, but it comes back for gentle strokes once more.
Then I pick it up funny. It squawks. It’s parents squawk. Hell, I squawk. I freak out, put it on my hand and cringe at my extreme dumbass-ery.
It’s chill now, but the parents sure as hell aren’t.
It flys off. I walk away. The parents start SWOOPING AT ME??? I walk faster but they can fly so no point really.
I get away, but here’s the thing. Crows hold grudges for a minimum of about 2-3 years. That is my dog walk park. I am, politely speaking, thick as shit.
Like, it WAS really magical until I screwed up.
Tl;dr: I mishandled a wild bird, and got swooped at. The birds in question hold a grudge.
EDIT: a few people mentioned it’s not cool to pick up baby birds. I fully agree! On a more serious note, as someone who has had some experience looking after corvids, seeing a baby one fluffed up and not moving when being approached does give “this bird is unwell” vibes. That being said, it is totally uncool what I did, I got caught up in the moment, and I’ll watch myself better in future :)
UPDATE: the birds are cool with me again, I’ve been giving them cashews. Hooray! Thanks y’all :)
myaudiobliss: They hold grudges, true, but you may be able to make peace. A few hot dogs, couple large fries, a dozen soft boiled eggs... They'll love you again
KiloJools: Cashews are a very high value treat that are high in fat (good in this case) but are much easier to keep in your pocket. Never leave home without em!
ToppinReno: There is no difference in difficulty in keeping cashews or eggs in your pocket.
Now, retrieving on the other hand...
Blueroflmao: Man i aint bout to shove hardboiled eggs down my pocket.
Ill go with a packet of cashews any day of the week over EgGs
WidowMaker42O: Bruhhh..... just sew some egg pockets onto your pants. It'll change your life!
Blueroflmao: Ive heard of those, do they work like the spaghetti pockets? If so i might have to try one!
cincymatt: Toss’m some tots!
| 8 | 163.875 | |
1657957741 | 1657975817 | t3_w0b95f | t5_2to41 | 44 | Krispcrap: TIFU by carrying in groceries
TLDR: I'm clumsy, tripped on steps while holding glass. Left murder scene on porch.
I am one of those people that's so clumsy it's worrisome. If I was in an episode of House he'd probably assume it was a symptom and it would turn out I had a brain tumor or something. Because of this I'm very prone to bumping into things, tripping, and I've cut myself on many a sharp object. Prior to this incident I cut my finger open while trying to open a can of beans. At work I'm on probation from handing blades or anything sharp. Never again will I attempt to carve a pumpkin!
I went grocery shopping and bought a bottle of wine for wine and cheese night. All I had to do was climb up two steps of the porch, enter the house, and put the wine and groceries in the fridge. No problem right? I trip on the first stupid step, smash the wine bottle, and get a quarter inch long shard of glass in my hand.
I somehow pull the shard out without passing out, blood is everywhere. I lay there on the two porch steps rethinking my life choices, contemplating how i got here. My sister went to get a rag to put pressure on the wound as I began leaving two dark red hand prints on the cement.
While I didn't pass out, I really don't remember much of the incident. I came to in the bathroom throwing up, shirt soaked in wine. We cleaned up the glass and threw a paper towel with a Guinness on top to hold it down until we can figure out how on earth to get the stains out.
My grandma came by and washed my hand with baby shampoo and threw a bandaid with neosporin on it. Now I'm out of work for a little bit, I'm in a lot of pain, and I'm terrified of carrying, holding, or opening wine bottles.
QuevedoDeMalVino: Well sorry about your misadventure. But about clumsiness, have you consulted professional advice? Maybe a neurologist or a psychologist could give some help. At minimum you would get a diagnostic. Hopefully all you need is to learn some techniques to stay on top of your movements.
Im_still_T: There are inner ear disorders that can affect balance, thus rendering someone "clumsy." So def worth getting checked out if it seems to be an issue.
| 3 | 14.666667 | |
1657959002 | 1657959186 | t3_w0bkcw | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU By Posting Pornographic Content Of Myself Online
[deleted]
DannyAvocado_: Delete it? And if they come to you, provide the documentation they need.
Limp-Pool9601: Tried to, and while it did delete publicly, its still there. Tried to delete the account as well but it said the account would have to stay active until the situation was resolved.
| 3 | 3 | |
1657959559 | 1657961913 | t3_w0bp7r | t5_2to41 | 5 | Corvus_Manufaktura: TIFU by thinking Reddit was "cool"
So, this fuck-up has been going on for more than six years but the realization came in the past two weeks.
I signed up for Reddit a bit more than six years ago to promote my knifemaking hobby. However, I moved towns, went from a house to a studio (parents' house to university) so knifemaking fell to the wayside, and so did Reddit. I kept my account so that if someone sent me a meme or post, I could still view it or leave the occasional comment.
Then, about two years ago, a friend of mine started sending me memes and funny posts from Reddit very frequently. At the time, I always went to 9gag for memes but I was getting fed up with the site: the "hot" section was full of people complaining about their lives, depression and suicide were the "trend" there and most of the content wasn't even funny. So I thought "okay, so 9gag is definitely not for me anymore" and I quit.
Seeing the interesting content I was being sent, I got curious about Reddit. The content I received was either very entertaining or something genuinely interesting, hobby-related and people seemed very well-adjusted in the comment section. So I started browsing the site, joining various subreddits, etc. But something wasn't right. Negativity was rampant, people were constantly putting themselves down, being miserable was the norm, long story short, it was 9gag all over again.
I always used to get angry for a few months because of people "ruining reddit". Then, in the past few weeks, I had an "awakening": maybe... maybe Reddit has always been this way and the only reason I was annoyed by it was because I came here with the wrong expectation. I thought it was a place for well- or at least better-adjusted people than on 9gag to discuss all the interesting things they know or do in their lives. So every time I saw a post / comment about how people just stay inside their house or aren't happy with where they are in life, I got annoyed.
Now I'm trying to remedy my situation by leaving all the "community" themed subreddits like r/AskReddit, r/unpopularopinion, etc. and joining more hobby / tech / space and nature focused subs.
TLDR; Got myself annoyed by thinking Reddit was "cool"
minowux: You think you will see intellectual questions or arguments on subreddits like the ones you mentioned but you end up seeing the most degenerate people of world and think to yourself "damn,are these people even real??" and get depressed.I totally agree with you
Corvus_Manufaktura: Yeah, the "I have no life and hate myself, look at how relatable I am lol" comments really got insufferable after a point
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657960862 | 1657962970 | t3_w0c0ee | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by kissing my gf
[deleted]
MrParo91: Wtf she's 14 and she's saying things like that, TBH this would be setting off many alarm bells in my head. I'd be like really sweetheart who was the man who tried too go fast with you in the past?
Useless_Redditor2005: I questioned it last night and she said she’s really tired and just said goodnight, I’m hopefully going out with her today so I’ll try talk to her about it in an open kind of way
MrParo91: I hope you enjoy your day! My advice focus on having a good time before asking that question.
Useless_Redditor2005: Ok thanks, her sister kinda has to tag along so I’m planning on either going to play basketball or going down the sea front to get doughnuts and ice cream and such
| 5 | 1 | |
1657965652 | 1658005056 | t3_w0d5n6 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Effective_Bet8943: TIFU Found where kid lived just because he sent a rooster pic.
[removed]
Majin_K: I would definitely tell this kid's parents about his behavior and the fact that he's sending unwanted pictures to strangers, including a child. You didn't fuck up. He did.
Effective_Bet8943: Thank you, it was 4 children younger than 12.
Majin_K: Good god, that's horrible. Definitely report this guy.
Effective_Bet8943: I think I will, I’m just sad to see that my friend would take sides over somone he has know for 8 years.
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1657965984 | 1657982465 | t3_w0d8kw | t5_2to41 | 919 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my female friend that my wife thinks she’s attractive.
[deleted]
joereadsstuff: I think your friend's fiancé is a no-fun prude.
Maiyku: This is kinda my takeaway.
Everyone involved was having a good laugh about this until it got to the fiancé. Sounds like someone has some trust issues and OP just happened to unknowingly trigger them.
Datmuemue: we dont know what either of the relationships look like, so why jump to the fiance being a prude?
Maiyku: Personally, I was siding more with the “No-fun” part of the comment, than the prude part.
mm172: Believe it or not, not everyone finds "hey, remember that coworker I interrupted our evening together to text for no good reason? Of course you do; I haven't shut up about him since I started the new job. Well, anyway, turns out his wife is totally down for a drunken threesome with me and him, even though she knows I'm in a committed relationship. Funny, right?" entertaining.
Vitalis597: Oof.
Talk about projection. You added a whole paragraph there that was never mentioned previously.
mm172: Other people have been more than happy to offer up equally unsupported but negative speculations on why the fiancee's reacting the way she is. I'm just saying that if my partner were playing out the cliches of a budding emotional affair at work with someone I'd barely gotten to know, but kept telling me not to worry because she couldn't possibly be attracted to him, I don't know that I'd have much sense of humor about discovering there actually *would* be someone available for her to fuck by getting involved with him, and that he thought she should know that for some reason.
Vitalis597: And you, like so many others, keep on saying that it's the guy who wanted to fuck the woman.
It's not.
It's the guy WIFE.
Seriously. You people need to learn how to read before making comments like this.
mm172: >It's the guy WIFE.
Who is *still* not the fiancee. And the guy clearly doesn't have a problem with the idea, so why should the fiancee be comfortable encouraging this friendship where she's an afterthought at best and an obstacle at worst?
Vitalis597: "However she's very gay. Gold star lesbain gay"
Seriously.
Read the post.
Not what you wanna get pissed off by.
BetaState: So because the coworker is gay, comments from OPs wife and potentially anyone else’s wives who want to fuck the coworker should be OK and laughed about?
If it was two straight female coworkers and one’s husband made the same comments would you react the same?
Vitalis597: Bruh
You wanna move those goalposts some more?
Where did I ever say everyone should get round and laugh about it?
What I DID say, since apparently you're struggling with the whole reading thing, is that it's not the guy who wants to fuck anyone.
How fucking dense are you? Where are you getting all these extra words from?
Why can't anyone on this god forsaken site read what it written instead of what they want to be angry about at any given time?
BetaState: > OPs wife and potentially anyone else’s wives who want to fuck the coworker should be OK
> is that it's not the guy who wants to fuck anyone.
I think you need to read "what is written" as well "Bruh".
| 14 | 65.642857 | |
1657967661 | 1658014506 | t3_w0dnl3 | t5_2to41 | 6,366 | throwaway38399934: TIFU by seeing my cousin naked
I'm using a throwaway account because I just can't risk it. Let me make something clear first. I live in a third world country, and my family is naturally conservative. Me and my extended family lives in a 3 story house, and I'm the only male cousin. I have 6 female cousins and we're all on good terms with each other. We're not conservative, but we have to be a little in front of elders.
This happened more than a week ago. We were going out for dinner (me, cousins and some elders) but one cousin (let's call her Y) didn't go. I forgot my car keys somewhere and I was searching the whole house. I went upstairs, entered my cousin's room and she was on the phone with someone, butt naked. For a second or two we both didn't know what to do. My feet froze and she went into shock as well. I turned around, grabbed the door handle, closed it on the way out and ran outside. I haven't talked to her since then. Obviously I haven't disclosed this to anyone in the family and I don't intend to tell anyone in the future either. But I just can't get that sight out of my head and it's driving me insane.
What's crazier is that I look at her like my own sister, and my family wants us (me and Y) to get married. I've been giving excuses and delaying stuff ever since. Firstly because I don't want to marry my cousin. Secondly because I know she already likes someone. Its been more than a week as I said and we haven't talked to each other directly since. It is awkward enough for my other cousins to notice but they're not asking questions, at least now.
I had a really good bond with Y. And I'm sad that this messed things up. It is my mistake though. I should've made some noise when entering their house. But in my defense, I didn't remember that she wasn't going.
Can anyone help?? Me and Y were close before this and she's the only person who I could talk to freely because she's understanding and all. She shares her secrets with me too but idk if things will be okay between us after this. Just a little context, I'm an introvert and I'm super shy. I already have trouble talking to girls.
Tldr: Accidently saw my cousin naked while she was videocalling someone and we haven't talked since.
Edit: Ok since I can't answer all of the comments I'll try responding here. First of all, I'm not into her. That's just something I can't even imagine in my head. We grew up together ffs. Stop asking how she looked like or smth. It's gross.
Second, it might be easy for the lot of you to directly address this issue and apologize as if nothing happened. You have to realize here that where I live, sex education is a taboo. Guys are mostly shy around girls. My cousins and I grew up in a conservative household so naturally they're all a bit shy towards me. I'm the only guy so this makes things trickier. On top of this, I'm super awkward and I don't have a lot of experience with girls. Even if nothing happened I would still find it difficult to initiate a conversation with a girl. Let alone apologizing for seeing them naked.
The best course of action that I can see from here is that I'll message her an apology. I don't want to make her awkward too. Of course, I'll assure her that I have no business in her private life and she can trust me with this. I'll tell her how I see her as my own sister and I hope this incident doesn't impact our relationship negatively because we can open up to each other from time to time, acting as support for each other.
Also, I didn't knock because I thought there's no one there. Thank you for the advice! I've been feeling like a piece of shit since this happened but I honestly have no ill intentions. I just want that image to get out of my head. I think apologizing will help me move on from this. I'll let you guys know what she says.
Edit 2 (update):
I went against many of you by texting her. I didn't apologize or anything, I just asked her to talk to me in person (through text). She said she'll tell me when it is possible. After a few hours she sent a text saying "Go go go" which meant green signal xD.
It was awkward in the start. I apologized for barging but she understood that I didn't know. Y just asked me to keep this a secret and I could see it in her eyes that she trusts me. I told her that whatever happened happened, and I want to move ahead of it. I told her that when she feels comfortable she can tell the family about the guy and I'll fully support her with it. She didn't say much but she looked relieved. We ended up cracking a few jokes and overall it worked out better than I had expected. This morning, the awkwardness between us was there but it was barely noticeable. I could see that we're moving past this.
I really want to thank everyone who commented. Even those who were joking or whatever xD I hope someday I can gather enough strength to show this thread to her. She's not on Reddit so I'll have to open this and hand her my phone xD anyway, thank you for showing concern! Especially those who went out of their way to message me. It really warmed my heart.
UBetcha84: Shit happens. I saw my girlfriend’s sister naked once and we apologized to each other for having it happen and we moved on.
Apologize and get over it.
Charming_Geologist32: So...did...did they look similar?
UBetcha84: They looked similar and while her sister looked good (which I’ll never say to my woman) my girlfriend is way better looking.
wilddreamer: You’re a smarter man than I, I got caught accidentally checking out my boyfriend’s sister’s ass. 😂
My only defense was “I know she’s your sister but I turned around and all I saw was ass, okay? My brain shorted out for a second.” For context, we were sharing a hotel room to get ready for his other sister’s wedding, and I happened to turn around right when she bent over 🫣 (and at the risk of getting my ass kicked, his sisters *are* stunningly pretty 🤷♂️)
CoolmanExpress: Just saying, if any of my friends said that to me about my sisters I’d kick them out immediately. That’s such an uncool response.
Similarly I’d never make a remark about one of my friend OR spouses family like that, that’s just disrespectful.
creamyismemey: Depends on closeness and how you guys normally screw around imo I have friends where everything is fair game and others where family is off limits just depends
CoolmanExpress: That’s a fair point. Obviously they know their man better than me and jokes are jokes. I’m sure for some people it’s okay but generally I expect my friends or S/O will treat my family with the same respect I do, so seeing that comment irked me a bit. But that’s a me problem lmao!
creamyismemey: Wish everyone was as calm as you was just arguing with a narcissistic asshole over nothing because he couldn't take some slight criticism but I feel you 100% it irked me at first too but then I was like mmmm I can't say much lol
CoolmanExpress: No worries! I’m certainly not always a pleasant person on the internet but I try to stay level I don’t like negative back and forth online just don’t have the energy!
Stay cool brotha or sista hope your day is going well!
creamyismemey: Hope your day is going well too😁
| 11 | 578.727273 | |
1657969187 | 1657986007 | t3_w0e1dt | t5_2to41 | 20 | Outrageous_Patient19: TIFU by destroying my aunt's S22 Ultra
[removed]
KLWSS: Be honest and try get it repair nothing else you can do use ur pocket money, Christmas money etc. it shouldn’t cost that much for a repair like 289 I think online it states. Do some lawn mowing or part time job etc?
Outrageous_Patient19: Due to inflation and my country being absolute shit, it's like 1K for the repair but no worries I'll be honest, face the music and pay for the repair.
KLWSS: What 1k lol that’s crazy but I guess this can be as a lesson to buy screen protector and a case from now on.
| 4 | 5 | |
1657972503 | 1657980070 | t3_w0eyik | t5_2to41 | 6 | Sgabonna: TIFU by realising that Earth is Hell.
[removed]
jsveiga: There's no hell, there's no heaven, you can't rationalize fairy tales.
Sgabonna: You don't need to believe what I've said to embody the message. Try where possible in your life to give selflessly without expectation of a return. Don't judge others, as we all fall short of perfect. Love yourself, so that you can love others. And once you find love for others, then love try to love thy neighbour as ones self.
Lots of love ❤
CovidPangolin: Your imaginary friend isn't real and you can't prove it is.
Sgabonna: But would you want a community that acted selflessly or selfishly more often?
CovidPangolin: selflessly, maybe those christians would learn to shut up about their dumb book club.
Sgabonna: Haha, just because a person follows a faith doesn't mean they've figured out themself, nor how they could best behave within a community.
CovidPangolin: Stop shoving your religion in other peoples faces.
Sgabonna: Sorry, I thought it might be interesting.
CovidPangolin: Nah, because its meaningless to everyone who doesn't believe your book.
Sgabonna: It's A book, whether you want to act selfishly or selflessly on a daily basis is something we can control in the present regardless of the book.
CovidPangolin: Then stop shoving your religion in other people's faces and go back to the appropriate subreddit.
Sgabonna: You may become the reason I make another post here.
CovidPangolin: Atleast the story about this dumb conversation is real.
| 14 | 0.428571 | |
1657973275 | 1658025231 | t3_w0f6sb | t5_2to41 | 12 | Gwenroyal: TIFU by giving a Lyft rider my phone number
So this happened a few weeks ago but now it has gotten out of hand. I started back up driving for Lyft at the end June. Which I was happy since my there gig jobs had gotten slow due to everyone jumping into them. Well one night I am doing my runs and get this lady, we'll call her CB. Well CB is going to the ER all the way into the next county. Not a problem as it will be a decent pay to get her there. Things get weird as she explains that she is nervous being alone in the ER. My dumb ass understanding that fear says I would stay with her if I don't get a ride. Well she asked if I could turn off the ride and she would give me an extra $40-$60 to sit with her plus take her home. To which I found the last trip option and pressed it.
I wish I could say the wat wasn't bad, but no it was terrible and she insisted I talk with the staff since she claimed they don't listened. So after a few hours CB got some meds and I made sure to drive her to get something to eat and other essentials (not on my dime). Well here is where I FU, CB tells me she lives alone and has no friends. Which I can understand since I moved right before the pandemic and don't have friends here either. We exchange numbers to see about hanging out sometimes. I felt sure nothing bad can come of this.
If that were the case I wouldn't be posting here. After a week she has blasted my phone wanting to drive her out to random places I am not interested in. She has even called me back to back when I have riders in my car. I hang up of coarse since I am not going to ruin the ride experience over something I could fix when free. But now CB is texting me late at night asking if I am on the job. My husband is tempted to take my phone and go off on CB, but I don't want to be a jerk to someone who might be struggling. What should I do?
&#x200B;
TL:DR-I gave my phone number to a Lyft rider and now getting spammed with request for free rides.
Awome512: Block her ass. If she just wanted free rides, then don’t talk to her again. Absolute scum of the earth.
fomoco94: Where does it say the rides are free?
Gwenroyal: She literally calls me and text me outside the app for rides without mentioning payment. She even stated she was on a budget.
fomoco94: You didn't state that in your post.
Gwenroyal: Well sorry I forgot to add it.
| 6 | 2 | |
1657960414 | 1657976733 | t3_w0bwko | t5_2to41 | 5 | R_Shekinah9: TIFU by switching of the power
Okay, I know it sounds extreme, but, in my defence, the smoke detector wouldn't stop beeping fire alarms every minute. It was driving me crazy! And had I known it wouldn't work, I would have never done that.
&#x200B;
Fair Warning, this is a long post, we're talking almost 700 words long, and I wasn't the only one who screwed up.
&#x200B;
Basically, I was home alone when all of a sudden, the fire alarm went off. I rushed downstairs, turned off the heater, flapped a towel around it and pressed the green button. Then I hear a beep and another one. Before I know it, there's another fire alarm and rinse repeat.
&#x200B;
I tell my dad about the fire alarms over the phone, and he tells me the smoke detector is sensitive even to dust particles from the oven that he plans to clean, but it needs heat yada yada, and that he'll be home late.
&#x200B;
Multiple alarms later, I was practically losing my sanity, crying and screaming at the smoke detector. It went off every minute!
&#x200B;
I found this slide thing and pushed with all my might. The cover was hanging on the ceiling, but there was no difference except it couldn't shut up. I pushed it back up before trying to look on my phone.
&#x200B;
I decided to temporarily switch a power key in a power system that every house has to disable before taking the battery out. But not even switching out the entire power could disable it. I finally found something that could help. It suggested gently but firmly removing whatever was holding the cover. It took me a while because of the alarms, it also was tricky, but I finally managed to. Then another one, but I could easily take out the battery after somehow stopping it. I let my dad know via text, though in hindsight, I didn't explain how frequent the alarms were.
&#x200B;
So hours later, my dad and siblings were home. He taught that I only removed the battery, even though I did mention the cover.
&#x200B;
Anyways, there was an issue with the oven like it didn't work because it wasn't on. You know when you unplug a microwave, so you reset it. That happened to it. Unlike a microwave, this oven needed to press two buttons and the same time, but we didn't know what they were, so my brother and I took turns pushing random buttons until our dad intervened.
&#x200B;
It took me a while to realise the problem and that I indirectly caused it, and my dad was angry, causing me to annoyingly not explain myself. He reached my mum, who's overseas and told us that she drew the symbols of the buttons on the cardboard paper on the fridge. I pushed those buttons for several minutes, waiting for it to start, and my dad was doing his thing of venting to himself about me right in front of me.
&#x200B;
He said something like "she" ruined his plans and, worst of all, my dad realised that had something to do with alarms, and my motive was so I could be on the laptop all day. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make him angrier. I didn't stop pressing until he found some youtube video saying to press three buttons, and that worked.
&#x200B;
So the takeaway, the power switch doesn't stop the fire alarms, but the silence button doesn't flash.
&#x200B;
And to save my dad the effort to make an account and post here.
**You really should not have ignored my protests about replacing the battery before putting the smoke detector cover back by admittedly following my advice on how to do it. Only to find out, I wasn't bluffing about the fire alarms going off every minute. Didn't it go off before you asked me how to put it back? Also, taking the cover off instead of only removing the battery wasn't extreme. You should know because a missing battery didn't stop the beeping, and my brother/your son from getting me to remove the cover, again. I wonder what mum will say when she hears about it?**
&#x200B;
TL;DR
* The smoke detector's fire alarm kept going off every minute.
* I resorted to temporarily switch off the house's power (ineffective) before removing the cover and battery from the ceiling.
* Hours later, my dad was majorly pissed off because the oven wasn't working cause of that.
* It took forever to figure out how to reset it.
* Also, I told him how to put the cover back even though he screwed up by not replacing the battery, only to find out I wasn't bluffing.
* For more context, please refer to my almost 700 work recount.
PIKEEEEE: A little confused. You shut your breaker off for a fire alarm that uses a 9v battery?
R_Shekinah9: By fire alarms, I meant the alarms coming from the smoke detectors (didn't know they were also called breakers), that do use a 9V battery (actually looked it up). I hope that clears things up.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657978388 | 1657982275 | t3_w0gss2 | t5_2to41 | 17 | dumbdumbnobrain: TIFU by sending a random girl my nudes
Starting it off I, 19 M, had been talking to this girl i had met on facebook dating. She seemed nice and we exchanged a few words and she asked for my number, not only did this come off as a red flag for me immediately but i asked her if she had snapchat or any other social media and she said she prefers iMessage. Reluctantly i gave her my number and was waiting for her to text but never got a response so i thought nothing of it. Fast forward to 4AM, im laying in bed browsing all my social medias and out of nowhere the girl text me and says that she cant reach my number and to add her on snapchat instead. Great i thought to myself, it all kinda worked out how i wanted it to anyways. We started talking and she asked me if i wanted to dirty talk and i asked her to explain, she said that she wanted me to send her a picture of my dick and in return she would send me some nudes. (I have forgot to mention that not only am i sleep deprived at this point but i also had been smoking some weed earlier) i asked why she asked me for this and that if she wanted it she would have to send something first, well me being high i thought i was just paranoid and that maybe im just tripping. Turns out that i indeed was not tripping. She had sent me screenshots of our entire conversation and i had not gotten any notifications that she had screenshot anything. At this point i start to panic a little bit because obviously i didnt consent to her saving the pictures and she even told me she wouldnt, guess my gut feeling was right earlier and i shouldnt have brushed off my paranoia. She goes on to say that if i do not pay her $300usd that she is going to send my nudes to all my friends and family and even public groups on the internet. Me being high and tired i say fuck it and ask her that if i actually sent her $300 she would delete it all and foolishly i believed her lies. I gave her $300 in bitcoin because she wanted to BS wtih my money and plain out rub it in that she was blackmailing me. After i sent her the money she goes on to say that i need to pay her boss now and it would be $500usd and at this point im not having it, i tell her she can go right ahead and send my nudes to everyone and that i would be reporting her to the police. I took screenshots of her usernames and reported her on all the apps for sexual harassment and nudity that shouldnt be on platforms. A few of my family members have gotten a message from her with a blurred video in their request to chats on instagram and now im $300 short and i have no clue how many friends and family have my nudes.
Tldr: I sent nudes to a girl i met online and she blackmailed me for $300 and sent some if not all my friends and family my nudes.
Throwaway account obviously
-ThePuma-: Remember kids, never put your face in a dick pic
Skaughty23: And put Disney music in any videos
Reddit-username_here: Let it go, dude.
AcrobaticSource3: I can’t tell if you are arguing against u/Skaughty23 or quoting “Frozen”
Reddit-username_here: Yes!
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1657981984 | 1658013291 | t3_w0i0xr | t5_2to41 | 181 | CrackMonkey15: TIFU by telling an innocent kid to fuck off
This actually happened today!
So last night my partner and I went to an open bar event through my work, obviously taking full advantage of the open bar we’re hanging out our arses to say the least and on a minor comedown but we won’t get into that.
We have a pretty chill flat on the 9th floor and never really have any issues. Buuuut for whatever reason the neighbours’ kids decided today is the day to play knock down ginger, ding dong ditch or whatever you want to call it.
It’s safe to say with the state we were in this morning their timing could not have been worse. These kids knocked and knocked intermittently for 15-20 minutes, my partner went out to tell them (politely) to stop. This worked for a whole two minutes.
At this point it’s stressing me out.
I decided to wait at the door looking through the peep hole so I could open the door before they knock this time and tell them to do one. Less than a minute later this kid comes walking up to knock on the door, which I opened and quite sharply said “can you just fuck off now?!” .
The kid was shook. Worth mentioning he’s probably like 8 years old and wearing a full Spider-Man costume, I feel a wave of immediate remorse.
This is where it gets worse, not only was this kid visibly upset but he was actually coming to apologise for his friends that were knocking on the door. Fuck sake.
So I went back to tell my partner what just happened and she informed me there was no kid in a spidey outfit that she saw… the kid was being genuine and I’m a piece of shit.
TL;DR after some relentless ding dong ditching I caught a kid about to knock on my door again and told him to fuck off only to find out this kid was coming to apologise for his dickhead mates. I feel terrible.
FactoryV4: Well it seems the problem stopped after your interaction. Forget about it. The kid probably did already.
Alarming-Peach6349: Imagine getting downvoted just because you're right.
FactoryV4: It happens. Seems everyone thinks they're perfect or they need everyone else to be. People today are so soft and emotional.
| 4 | 45.25 | |
1657982787 | 1658012799 | t3_w0iamd | t5_2to41 | 4,254 | Unlucky_Caramel7627: TIFU Got high and drunk and did ass play.
Obligatory this happened the 36 hours ago. I'm on mobile so excuse me for the formatting
Me and my lady friend got high: Speed, MDMA, GHB. drank copious amounts of alcohol and then proceeded to fuck each other brains out for the rest of the night.
Towards the end of the activities we got into ass play with me on the receiving end which I love but I am still somewhat inexperienced and only did it to myself.
The fuck up: I was really enjoying myself but the alcohol and drugs where hindering my ability to accurately judge my limits. She was fingering me and I believe a dildo was involved. I kept asking for more and that woman went to town on my ass.
She was four fingers in trying to fist me and then I felt it a sharp pain.She went too far, my ass couldn't take it anymore but the damage was done. I asked her to stop but I could feel the soreness.
The aftermath: It is now Today and I have trouble walking, sitting down is a nonstarter, I'm still shitting lube and a little blood (I don't believe I have internal bleeding just microtears in my anus/sphincter, the same as when you're constipated with a massive shit and when it finally comes out and you wipe and it's like red-pink).
I really hope this whole ordeal will be over soon wish me luck.
Tldr; got high and drunk, lady friend tried to fist me couldn't accurately judge my limits now my ass is sore like a motherfucker.
imtheplantguy: who taught you how to do drugs?
Isgortio: I don't even do drugs and I know it's best not to mix anything and especially don't mix it with alcohol, not unless you're planning on sudden death.
Hiseworns: Weed + Alcohol won't kill you (unless you drink waaaaaaay too much, but you can do that without the weed) but the hangover might make you wish you were dead
single_malt_jedi: >Weed + Alcohol
Makes me vomit every time.
Hiseworns: Damn, for me it can be a very fun evening, provided I don't need to do things like stand up. The next morning, however, isn't worth it
single_malt_jedi: Its not a problem these days, I haven't smoked in well over a decade. No matter how I mixed, no matter what ratio, I always puked.
binaryimage: It took me 20 years to figure out the formula for crossfading..and still fuck it up sometimes.
gudy2shuz: "Crossfading"
As a person who has enjoyed the formula and a former DJ, I'm in love with this term.
| 9 | 472.666667 | |
1657983237 | 1658046937 | t3_w0ig7j | t5_2to41 | 10,830 | Fresh_Tea4417: TIFU by having my brother walk in on me doing the dead
So basically I’m (16M) in a different country and haven’t been able to jack off for a while cuz I have to share a room with my brother (18M). Good news: he and the rest of the family a gonna be leaving the house.
I’m in my bed and start doing it. I don’t have my blanket covering me cuz imma be honest, the cool air feels nice.
Suddenly I see my brother from the corner of my vision as he opens the door and comes in. Turns out they hadn’t actually left yet and that he was just outside the room for a bit. I quickly cover myself with my blanket and act like nothing happened.
He saw that I had no pants on (cuz my dumbass thought it would be a good idea to not cover myself) and asks where my pants are. I say that I spilled water on it so took them off for a bit and he doesn’t say anything else.
Managed to slip my pants back on under the blanket. 99% sure he knows and I want to die. I thought this stuff only happened in shitty pornos. Be careful people, unlike me.
TL;DR I thought no one was home and got walked in on. Kill me now. (It was to fucking hentai as well)
brianinwi: "Doing the dead" hahahah!!
komei888: Jerking it to necrophilia
Your bro does not want to be involved
jackduloz: He’d rather die
God-of-Tomorrow: That would just mess up op even further
beyonddisbelief: Halloween in Alabama!
B0neless_Tiddy: *HallowBama intensifies*
katanakid13: Happy BamaWeen, stepbro!
sgt_happy: _Whoa-oh Black Betty, BamaWeen, Whoa-oh Black Betty_
| 9 | 1,203.333333 | |
1657983566 | 1657984717 | t3_w0ik7q | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming my friend wasn't into me
[deleted]
Lopendebank3: This is not your fault. However cringe as it is buy her flowers maybe?
Hey_Peter: Don’t do this.
| 3 | 2 | |
1657985070 | 1657987660 | t3_w0j3jn | t5_2to41 | 19 | Sashawildgurl: TIFU by not seeing adult actors as regular people
[removed]
Slevinkellevra710: "Maybe I'm upset that there are women perfectly ok with getting railed and slapped by guys on video but they've never even given me a handjob."
This is the root of it. You're jealous that you can't get laid, and hate women because of it. You're angry that a woman can do porn and still deserve a good life. Like somehow they're evil. Yet you clearly WATCH porn. You must think it's ok for you. But somehow it's not ok to MAKE the thing that you like to watch.
It's really telling that you use the words "railed and slapped." Obviously you're watching porn that learns toward BDSM if there's slapping involved. So, combined with these other factors, maybe you want to abuse women because you hate that they won't have sex with you?
Sex is just sex. Go get a hooker, and you'll realize it's not any good if you don't have a connection with your partner. You really really need to get some mental health treatment, and explore your attitudes towards sex and women.
Don't be an incel nurderer. This is exactly how they think.
SadArm4678: >Obviously you're watching porn that learns toward BDSM if there's slapping involved.
I would bet he leans towards the humiliation porn. Not the BDSM bondage and spanking side of the spectrum.
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1657986807 | 1658009753 | t3_w0jprm | t5_2to41 | 5,467 | sunshine_dreaming: TIFU by wearing a cute sundress for my husband's birthday
This happened Thursday.
I put on this cute and comfy sundress to go out to eat with my husband. It's the kind that is smocked at the top so I wasn't wearing a bra- just my panties under this long, flowy dress. Very cute. Anyway, we go out to get in the car and we see the neighbors mowing their yard and we stop to talk for a few minutes in the grassy strip between our driveways.
The chit chat turns into a more involved conversation about our shared fence line, and before I know it we've been out there talking for about 30 minutes or so. After this, we leave and go about the rest of our evening, oblivious to the damage.
At 6AM the next morning I wake up. The backs of my legs are burning like fire. I groggily go to the bathroom to discover a softball sized area on the backs of my knees is totally eaten up with insect bites. I start pulling out cortizone and benadryl from the medicine cabinet and I am attacking the areas as best I can. I start to move up my thighs, where I discover the inside of my thighs near my crotch is also completely covered in bites. At this point I start to get nervous and lift up my T shirt, which reveals a stomach, sides, and lower back that is completely devastated by bites. I start screaming curse words as I realize the extent of the damage.
It gets worse.
I finally was brave enough to pull down my panties.. and as you can probably imagine every square inch of my crotch area is covered in fucking chigger bites. I'm talking mons, vulva, ass crack, the crease where thighs meet, the whole thing. I want to die and I start crying.
By this time my husband has woken up and he comes to the bathroom door. I'm screaming "LOOK IT'S EVERYWHERE," we take off my clothes to see the full extent of the damage. I also have them inside my belly button, on my armpits, on my neck, and on top of my boobs. We then look him over and of course he has them all over his legs as well. Not as bad as I do since his clothes prevented them from going up any further. Unfortunately for me the sundress didn't provide any protection.
PS I got some prednisone so hopefully that helps
&#x200B;
TL;DR: I wore a sundress and became a chigger flesh buffet
Edit: thank you everyone for all the home remedies!! Will definitely be trying the aveeno bath which many of you recommended.
Also just want to reiterate my comments about clothing are relevant in that the insects had no barriers as they crawled upward...
WhichWayzUp: Weird. Are chiggers a bug that we can't see or feel when they're on us?
domine18: Yeah, they are really nasty little things. Don't know what has happened till screwed. The neighbor mowing is screwed also. Luckily easy to treat. If you have access to pool. Go swimming. The chlorine gets rid of them. OP will need to treat yard to get rid of them.
sunshine_dreaming: Thanks for the tip
domine18: Go to home depot and get diatomaceous earth (not poisonous). Spread it around will get the chiggers and other bug as well.
boarder2k7: For reference, this is not poison. It is an inert natural substance (some people even eat it) that kills insects by being abrasive. It nicks their exoskeleton and causes them to dehydrate and die
domine18: Yeah sorry, not poisonous just deadly for small insects.
boarder2k7: Yup, just good for people to know it's safe to use for insect control around children and pets
WiryCatchphrase: You want food grade diatomaceous earth if using around kids and animals, and you should never inhale it, it's a mineral product and talcum powder is an example of geologic sources getting a bit of contamination.
You can add it to your animals food to keep insects out, and it can help with some parasitic infections, and provides some additional minerals.
Itchy-Profession-725: For what it's worth, we are plagued with spotted lantern fly here in PA, diatomaceous earth does not work on them I blasted a bunch on some juveniles that were on some plants, they walked around covered in DE till they molted, or it rained. A few weeks at least
St3phiroth: I was told that DEworks best on hard shell insects. It gets between the shell and their insides and basically sand papers them to death as it dries them out.
Spong_Durnflungle: I heard that it can kill bedbugs
St3phiroth: I hope I never need to find this out.
| 13 | 420.538462 | |
1657991468 | 1657992968 | t3_w0le1w | t5_2to41 | 589 | Maarleyyy: TIFU by trying to fist bump my niece who is missing her arms
I am genuinely so embarrassed right now.
I (15F) have an older brother (29M) who has two kids. For the story I’ll call the older one James (9M) and the younger one Amy (4F). My brother had his kids with his now fiancé who I’ll call Ashley (29F), my brother and my parents never really got along due to my moms past treatment of him and such so we don’t talk much and I’m not around his kids a lot. I met James when he was 2 or so and a few times over the years and Amy when she was a few months old, but there’s one detail I left out: Amy was born without her arms. I vaguely remember my family talking about concerns about her future because of it but it’s never stood out to me because I see her around once every two years or so and my family views it as a touchy subject.
Now that the backstory is over I can get into the main story. Yesterday morning my brother and his family drove down to go to the beach with my family so we could do our once every few years catch up and have some fun. When we got there I was immediately put on babysitting because I’m the only other kid there and the adults wanted to have a break. The kids wanted to build a sandcastle so Amy stayed back to babble about what she wanted it to look like and i did all the heavy lifting to make it and James helped shape it. After we finished Amy yelled for our family to come look at our beautiful creation and we got the whole “it’s great! Good job kids!”. I decided to give the kids some good old fist bumps for their hard work. I went for one with James and he reciprocated, and me, being stupid, turned to Amy and extended my fist for a bump. I paused and Amy just stared at my fist, confused on what to do. My whole family looked at me mortified as I tried to think of what to do to save this interaction so I fist bumped the little nub she has and nervously laughed. She giggled and kept babbling about the castle before my dad silently pulled me away to speak about what happened.
I have never felt more embarrassed, I never want to show my face around my family again.
TLDR: you know that video of the guy trying to high five a kid without arms? I did that with a fist bump.
Nngor: Why? You treated her normally, if anything you should call out nub bumb. The fact everyone is acting weird about it bring negative attention and should be embarrassed.
I hope someone with a disability will answer this to back up statement of you did nothing wrong treating her normally.
Maarleyyy: Thank you, I was super worried that I had fucked up because I’m technically supposed to be grounded right now because of it but stole my phone back 😭
My family’s super weird about any kind of disability (weird stares, “oh they are so brave for taking care of them!”, etc.) so I’m glad to get an outside opinion
sansevierias: Sounds like your parents need to work on themselves..
The girl shouldn’t be treated as a leper, treat her normally
| 4 | 147.25 | |
1657992861 | 1658060476 | t3_w0lwg9 | t5_2to41 | 33 | -danime-: TIFU by forgetting to sign up for an university exam
I followed this course of development policies in the last trimester. I was very interested in the topic and I participated actively in all the lessons.
I've done 3 different projects for this course: a group presentation, an individual presentation over a country of our choice (I choose Bangladesh btw, very interesting country) and a short paper.
The only missing part was the written exam, which would have been on the 18th of this month.
I completely forgot to register for the exam. I'm a complete idiot. The deadline was 2 days ago, and I totally missed it.
The next session will be in September, but it doesn't matter: to be counted as attendant and to have the projects taken into account the last chance was this one.
I wrote the professor a mail, hoping in her compassion. Otherwise I'm screwed. All the work done for nothing.
Still waiting for a response, wish me luck
TL;DR: I forgot to register for an exam, and all my work done in the past 4 months will be lost
bloodmonarch: Its no biggie if its a few days to a week. Sometimes life happens and we cant register on time, be it real life obligation, sickness, family matters, etc etc
Usually you do message the secretariat/admin which handles the exam registeration+logistics instead of the professors though, but they probably would tell you what to do exactly for your university.
-danime-: Luckily she answered positively to my e-mail, and I will be able to take the exam with all the other students
| 3 | 11 | |
1657996776 | 1657999046 | t3_w0nbno | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing the Knock, knock, KGB slapping joke on my colleague
[deleted]
Samasher17: Buddy, you're not in school anymore, and that shit doesn't fly in grown up land.
Dallenforth: Unless you're thier boss in a private company
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1657997072 | 1658000066 | t3_w0nfjw | t5_2to41 | 14 | KaptainChunk: TIFU when I saw an old coworker at Walmart, and loudly saying Chrisssss like Herbert the pervert from Family Guy
Edited to add: This happened a week or so ago.
I used to work at a theme park with a few hundred employees. It’s not uncommon to see someone you know from there, at Walmart. The fuck up happened when I was in the cat food isle. I hear the unmistakable laugh of Chris walking by. Chris is a very large gay man. With a baritone voice and laugh. So much so that you could honestly never say I didn’t see/hear you to him.
It’s been a few years since I’ve seen him, so I pop out the isle. In my best impression I loudly say Chrisss*whistle*sssss. He stops, turns around confused, and then chuckles when he realized it was me. So we’re standing there shooting the shit for a minute. He has his work shirt on and is with two younger teenagers. Then we part ways, I run into them again at the self checkout. His phone rings, he answers, oh not much, I’m working right now. I gesture a see ya later as I’m walking out.
Here’s the fuck up, Chris was recently arrested(after I saw him at Walmart)for multiple counts of sexually abusing a boy at the facility he worked at. It’s a safe bet one or both of the kids there with him was the boy. So here I am like damn, what are the odds of this?
Tldr: I jokingly impersonated a pervy old man’s voice. To an actual pervert, while he was with the kid he was most likely diddling. A week or so before he was arrested.
GrindingNeverStops: I really doubt he would have that job if he was arrested for it… plus if it’s recently wouldn’t he be in prison
KaptainChunk: This was before he was arrested
Remarkable-Plastic-8: You probably should have clarified that because it reads like he was arrested before the Walmart incident. Which makes what you did extra fucked up.
KaptainChunk: Thanks, fixed it.
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1657997725 | 1658026302 | t3_w0no3y | t5_2to41 | 7,384 | Anonymoushero1221: TIFU by pointing out that Shark Week starts tomorrow
I saw a TV commercial this morning for Shark Week, starting tomorrow hosted by the Rock yada yada yada...
Anyway I texted my girl "Shark Week starts tomorrow ;)"
I was very confused by her reply of "uhhh that's kinda creepy...." I asked her lol what do you mean and she didn't reply. A couple hours later she got home and she was acting weird. Kinda like she was avoiding me. Eventually I confronted her and asked her what's going on, why is she being so strange, and she immediately started going off about how its really creepy that just out of the blue I started tracking her period and even sending her a reminder about it and I'm like hold the FUCK on what are you talking about?
Turns out that she is actually expecting her period tomorrow, and thought that "shark week" in my text was some sort of euphamism or slang for her period. LOL WHAT?
So I showed her that no, literally Shark Week is starting tomorrow on TV, and we had a good laugh.
**TL;DR told me girl Shark Week starts tomo she thought I was reminding her about her period**
edit: even more ironically, apparently Shark Week doesn't start until next week I just saw "Sunday" and assumed tomo. And for people acting like she was over-reacting don't read that much into it - she uses a tracker app and always tells me anyway and just based on context of our relationship it would have been out of character for me to actually be reminding her of her period. It wasn't so much as "you're a creep" as it was "you're acting differently than usual" that she felt. It's just a silly misunderstanding drop the judgment.
sturmeh: Shark week is pretty well known to mean the week a woman experiences menstruation, because Sharks are out to get blood.
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shark%20week
arlondiluthel: This is the first I've heard of that usage.
Smokedeggs: Yes, I’m a woman and has never heard of this.
Murmer_: What??? It was the euphemism for me and friends in middle school (early 2000s)🤨
Smokedeggs: I guess I’m old haha
CavingGrape: Nah bruh I’m *in* high school and ain’t never heard of this
Kalinsub: Too young
CavingGrape: I’m a senior….
Who has had two partners who have periods…..
And both of those were long enough for it to come up a couple times………..
Prolly would’ve heard it by now if it was a common term (in my area, it may be common elsewhere ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯)
Kalinsub: What I mean is your generation probably doesn’t use it. Shark week (from National Geographic) used to be a lot bigger and more people talked about it, leading to it being used as a colloquial
CavingGrape: ohhh yeh that makes sense
| 11 | 671.272727 | |
1657997527 | 1658047720 | t3_w0nllt | t5_2to41 | 5 | throwaway234928374: TIFU by planning to meet up with an online friend
[removed]
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: Block him now. If you’ve shared any personal information with him let your parents know - tell them you know you’ve made a mistake and you’ve learned from it, you’re scared and need their help and support, not criticism.
If you can’t tell your parents tell another responsible adult that can mediate with them to keep you safe.
sisterburner: \+1 to all of this, I'll also add that while internet friends \*can\* be legit, I most definitely would never agree to meet up with someone after just a few days, and especially not while you're still a kid. Wait until you're older and your creep radar is better developed! And you probably don't need the reminder at this point, but I'd also recommend not telling people the truth about your personal details, just as a default rule - lie and say you live one town over or just say you don't want to share that information, whatever you're comfortable with - there's nothing to lose and everything to gain by making your privacy and safety priority #1
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1657998202 | 1658014464 | t3_w0nuep | t5_2to41 | 41 | phob-00: TIFU by not letting my employer fire me
This hasn't happened today but it's an ongoing series of events started about 4 weeks ago.
About a month ago, after a long research, I (F/24) had finally found a job that I considered very pleasant and made me happy. Everything goes well, co-workers like me and are happy to have me on board, until on my day off I decide to take my mountain bike down to a nearby village (important detail, 'cause this place has really bad roads and is covered in gravel) with a really nice beach. I'm in a relatively pretty good mood, and I'm acting like a dumbass showing off to my partner going fast and just being really careless in general.
And then obviously **bada bing bada boom, I fall.**
For someone like me who had never seriously injured themselves, that was the end. I got pretty hurt, I was in so much pain everywhere - turns out later I had fractured my elbow and had a number of other pretty inconvenient bruises. I'm the kind of person who normally plays it cool when they're in physical pain but that was way more than I had ever experienced.
ANYWAY, going back to the job, I let my supervisor know what happened through their personal number. They're super nice, and at that point I'm realizing I can't do anything with my predominant arm/hand, from writing, to wiping my ass, even getting dressed is quite problematic. My body is taking a lot of energy for me to heal so I definitely can't work.
I get hold of a unfit to work note, and I organize a meeting with the supervisor - said meeting being "I'll pop into work while you're there so we can chat about the situation and I can show you the note".
*Bada bing bada boom, there's train strikes for a whole mf week.*
So I message them, letting them know I don't have a way to come see them that day. The message I got sent back, was basically the equivalent of someone breaking up with you via text. The supervisor said they were letting me go for not showing up that day (except for the meeting I organized myself, I wasn't supposed to be working on that day, and I was badly injured as well).
Now, if there's anything I hate more than seagulls, it's definitely injustice. I'm *angry*. I can't cycle anymore, I can't wipe my ass, I'm not getting any sick pay, and I've also lost my job. F\*\*k that.
Someone smarter than me would have just tell them to get f\*\*ked for doing this, but me? Well, me needs to be Batman and save Gotham Town from bullies like that, so I put together a whole lot of evidence of what happened and ask my partner to help me write down a professional email telling them they can't do this. Thanks to my boyfriend magic hands, and some threats of actually getting legal help, they come back to me apologizing for the misunderstanding and telling me I can go back to work once I'm better, according to the sick note terms, 4 weeks.
So I'm like, I just have to hold tight, heal, and wait and everything will be fine.
Obviously not. Found out today that they've given me literally one shift per week, probably hoping I'll get annoyed and leave, and being on a zero hour contract they're actually allowed to do this. And I have not used this time to find a different job, so now I'm absolutely broke and I'm having to go back somewhere where I'm clearly not wanted, 'cause angry me didn't think it through. Dammit.
&#x200B;
TL;DR Got in an accident with my bike, my newly found job tried to fire me straight after (probably to not have to pay me any sickness), I threated them to go legal ways, they took me back but now they're not giving me any work leaving me in a bad situation anyway.
[deleted]: Constructive dismissal/discharge, my man. The material terms of your role have changed to your detriment following an injury. This is illegal.
phob-00: Yeah but I don't think there's any way for me to win this at this point.
[deleted]: Stick it out, getting a second job as you have little shifts to do in your current one. Let the lack of shifts carry on with correspondence, demand a reason why, ask how it can be changed, etc.
After three months of documentation you challenge them with legal action.
phob-00: I mean that all sounds magnificient, but how many times is it actually worth it to go through with things like these?
NostradaMart: every win matters.
| 6 | 6.833333 | |
1657999234 | 1658003225 | t3_w0o7kr | t5_2to41 | 16 | Local_Townhater89: TIFU by going out for a walk with my umbrella that looks like a sword
[removed]
HerbieVerSmelles4247: Lies.
Local_Townhater89: wdym?
HerbieVerSmelles4247: Your story is made up.
| 4 | 4 | |
1658000029 | 1658005677 | t3_w0ohoz | t5_2to41 | 27 | dark_mind7: TIFU by being a heavy sleeper
So my girlfriend, Amy, stayed the night last night. We had just came back at like 3 am from a night out on the town and she had work tomorrow and home for her was too far away so she stayed over. She woke up, somehow, at 6:30 am to head off for work. I woke up when she said goodbye, kissed her by, and she walked downstairs while I practically passed back out. Around 15-20 min later she wakes me up crying, angry, and hysterical about being late and I'm confused as hell.
I got up and followed Amy out. I realized she was stuck as her car was in the outside garage and she didn't know how to open it. I opened it and she drove off like a bat outta hell as she was already very late for work. Later she calls to talk to me and it turns out that during that 20 min i was out she locked the door before she left, as that's what she does at her home, but then couldn't open the garage. Then she proceeded to call me a bunch of times and bang on both the main door and the back door to no avail. She got in by the dog door attached to the main door and unlocked the door that way. Thankfully, as I have no idea when I would have woken.
Now, here's what you need to understand. I am a decently heavy sleeper, had a couple drinks, and only got 3-4 hours of sleep so I was sleeping like a log. My room is on the second floor and the walls are well insulated. Plus there's this big plug in fan in my room and we had that on full blast. So I could not hear ANYTHING outside my room. And worse yet is my phone was on silent so her calls did nothing. (Idk why it was silent probably hit a button last night Idk).
Luckily she got to work and didn't lose her job. Unluckily this combined with a bad workday has rendered my dear lady very moody and grouchy and I don't think she wants to talk to me for awhile. I can't blame her for being so mad as I would be too but it still hurts. I don't think anyone was specifically at fault but its not a good situation all around.
TL;DR Girlfriend was locked out and I slept through her attempts to wake me and she got angry and was late for work.
69pleasebanme6969: Sounds like you slept like a rock. You collect four pebbles, all roughly the same shape. Then you draw a circle on the concrete, roughly a yard in radius. Place a large rock in the center and sit on either side of the circle. Stare deep into each other's eyes, and imagine the largest rock you can. Then you chuck the four pebbles at each other. The game ends when you run out of pebbles or when the other person collapses.
JamieDrone: ⁉️
| 3 | 9 | |
1658001249 | 1658020471 | t3_w0oxgv | t5_2to41 | 7 | Turbulent_Place_7064: TIFU by having a perv grandfather and neighbours
[removed]
Grammar-Notsee_: >I know my grandfather does this but what can u do lol
Lol? And that's amusing?
Turbulent_Place_7064: Nah . My bad it s just the way i type usually . Soz
Turbulent_Place_7064: Even an apology gets downvoted . Damn
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1657997486 | 1658039743 | t3_w0nl12 | t5_2to41 | 494 | ver03255: TIFU by unintentionally leading on a colleague that led to an HR memo
Long post ahead. TLDR version at the end.
I (26M) have been working as a manager at an ad/marketing agency for 2 years. I have a coworker (28F, let's call her Julie) who's also a manager for a different team, and she's been with the company for 5 years. We often work closely together because our teams' workflows are closely related.
Unbeknownst to me, Julie has had a hard crush on me since I started.
I'm very secretive of my private life at work, as I'd like to keep my professional and personal lives separate. No one knew outside my team and direct bosses that I have a long-term girlfriend whom I actually live with. Since Julie never really asked me, I didn't voluntarily give this information.
Last Monday, our teams had to work on a highly urgent project that we need to present to the client's board by Tuesday 9am. Our subordinates worked at the office until around 10pm, then Julie and I had to stay later than that as we had to make sure everything was done perfectly (quality control is part of our job). As it was getting late, I suggested that we work in a nearby cafe instead. I texted our boss about this for his approval, which he gave, and he even said that dinner and coffee are on him.
We finished at around midnight. Julie lives about an hour away, and she doesn't have a car, so her only options were either the bus, a cab, or an Uber. However, with a car collision nearby holding back the traffic and the heavy rain flooding the streets, it was clear that the earliest she'll get home is about 2am. We tried booking an Uber for about an hour, but she can't book anyone.
I then offered for her to just stay the night at my apartment (which is just about a 10-minute walk) so she could at least have a good night's rest before our morning presentation, which she agreed to. It was only in that conversation that she found out that I have a girlfriend.
She was LIVID. Apparently, Julie assumed that all this time, I knew about her crush on me and that the feeling was mutual. She thought that everything that happened that night was me finally making a move on her, and that the night would lead to us hooking up. She said she has never felt more humiliated, but I was just confused the entire time because I never intended for any for this to happen. In the end, she just booked a hotel room, which our company reimbursed.
The next day (or more accurately, later that day), before our presentation, she talked to me to apologize. Our presentation went smoothly, but I did feel that she's been kinda awkward around me. I thought that was the end of it, until Friday morning when we got a company-wide memo from HR saying that all work must be done inside the office. We could just have food delivered for company reimbursement, and everyone staying beyond 10pm would be eligible to book a room at a nearby hotel if they choose to (the company will reimburse, but they must prove that going home would be difficult or unsafe).
They also talked to me about the incident, and I recounted everything to the best of my abilities. I even showed them my text conversation with my boss to prove that my only intention was to finish our work (plus my convo with my girlfriend when I asked her approval if I can ask a colleague to stay the night because she can't go home due to the situation). After about half an hour, the HR officer told me I have nothing to worry about, adding that the entire thing was a total misunderstanding. My boss even joked about it during our meeting, but I asked him not to mention it anymore as Julie might get uncomfortable.
EDIT: Additional info: Over the week, Julie and I haven't really been interacting too much as our teams worked separately on backlogs that were pushed back due to the urgent project. I have no plans of bringing this up anymore, and I only hope that our professional relationship doesn't suffer too much because of what happened.
EDIT2: Okay so some new information has come to light. Apparently, Julie never reported to HR. She was just ranting and telling the story to some of our colleagues over lunch and I guess it became office gossip and reached HR, who then took action. Julie was just as embarrassed as I was about the memo. I don't know how accurate the story that reached HR was, but I appreciate that they talked to me to straighten things out. Also, apparently everyone in Julie's team, some members of my team, and some of our bosses knew about her crush on me. Maybe I'm really just thick or uninterested for not picking up on this.
TL;DR - A coworker who didn't know I have a gf has a secret crush on me. We stayed late for work and I asked her if we could continue working at a cafe instead. When she couldn't find a way to go home, I asked her if she wanted to stay the night at my apartment (with my gf). She thought I was making a move, but found out I have a girlfriend. She was mad, then apologized, but HR got wind of what happened. They then sent a memo related to the incident. I also had a talk with HR. Everything's fine now, though.
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: You didn’t FU, she did. Firstly by making assumptions, then by reporting you to HR for doing nothing more than ensuring a colleagues safety. HR has done the right thing to protect people from themselves here.
Drestlin: Why in the name of god would she report him?!?
FOR WHAT?!?
"I THOUGHT THAT HE KNEW I WAS INTO HIM AND THAT I WAS FINALLY GETTING SOME INSTEAD I DIDN'T OMG"
&#x200B;
?!?!!?!?!?!?
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: Exactly. She thought she could get him into trouble for taking her out and inviting her back to make her feel better about feeling embarrassed. HR is protecting people like her from themselves - and people like OP who was just doing the right thing by making sure his colleague knew she would be safe at his as his girlfriend was there.
JimiSlew3: That's worst case. I think she went to HR to have her story on file in case he went to HR with a "she did X to me". Anyway, it worked out.
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: There’s been an update since. Seems her own ranting was probably the cause
| 6 | 82.333333 | |
1658003185 | 1658071871 | t3_w0plwc | t5_2to41 | 17 | FakedKetchup2: TIFU by learning that the plastic-like material I was hacksawing was not plastic and that I’ve inhaled asbestos dust
So I have this old motorcycle manufactured in 1950s (jawa 250) and its a total scrapyard material. I needed to modify the switchbox on the tank, so I dismantled it and opened it up. The switches were unusable and the whole switchbox ruined, so I thought let's use the enclosure and throw put the electronics.
I needed to get some material off so I started sawing it off with a hacksaw, as I was doing it, a lot of dust came off. Nothing special, what was out of the ordinary doe is that after a while I started feeling itching in my lungs.
I thought tmaybe it's fiberglass and not plastic so I stopped and went outside. The pain went away and I didnt give ot too much attention.
It’s been 3 months and Ive just randomly figured out how asbestos looks and that it was used in electronics at the time. how much time do I have left?
TL;DR I accidentally inhaled asbestos dust when sawing off a piece I at first thought was plastic.
ZeroSum10191: Go to the emergency room, notify city hazmat
Coyoteatemybowtie: It's asbestos not some crazy disease or radiation. Do not go to the er, call the doctor you will be fine. The city will not care, half the cities buildings are full of asbestos.
Gimmil_walruslord: I know a few places where homeowners can abate the stuff themselves and just pitch it in the garbage because there are no laws agai to it
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1658003714 | 1658061719 | t3_w0psjc | t5_2to41 | 449 | Candlesticksnape: TIFU by taking my cat for a walk
I have an indoor cat who originally came from Greece. She’s been dying to get outside the last few days because we’ve had warm weather.
I decided put her harness on and take her into the communal garden at the back of the flats where I live, there’s lots of shade and grass and she was really enjoying herself, sniffing and investigating smells etc.
Now, she’s usually a laid back little cat but something spooked her and she LOST HER MIND and suddenly I was flying a kite rather than walking a cat. She somehow Houdini-ed herself out of then hardness and bolted into a bush.
Now me and the cat are seriously bonded so I sat near the bush and just talked softly to her and she was doing the occasional “MOOW” back to me. After a while I released this wasn’t having the desired effect so I realised I needed to get into the bush to see if I could grab her. Now this bush is like lots of bushes, thorns, the lot. So I am getting scratched to pieces, twigs in my hair etc. At that point she pops through the metal fence into the housing development behind us. I immediately run about a mile to get there (there’s no access from our flats, you have to go out to the main road and back up) I get there and the cat is just sat there staring at me.
I go to pick her up, and she goes MROW and pops to the other side of the fence again. Eventually I manage to coax her back through and I tell her to follow me. For some reason she understands this (?) and starts trotting along beside me. Cool. We get to the road and I have to pick her up. Amazingly, she lets me and I’m walking down my road clutching this cat counting the steps until we are home. Suddenly a bloody Tesco delivery van speeds past and the cat LOSES HER SHIT AGAIN into yet another fucking shrubbery.
This shrubbery is like, dense. I can’t even see her. I’m losing it at this point. I love this cat so much and I just don’t know what to do. I’m basically screaming and crying her name into the shrubbery. What I didn’t realise at this time is that I am covered in blood. I already had a bleeding head from the first shrubbery incident but what I didn’t know is that the idiot cat lacerated me escaping the Tesco van and let me tell you she managed to claw her way through my arms and my leg on her way down. So as I am screaming her name into the shrubbery with tears and blood running down my face. My arms have blood on them and my
leg is literally dripping with blood and neighbours have started to gather.
Also, I should probably mention her name is “Rat”. I should also mention she chose the one shrubbery with a fucking underground wasps nest in it and just to really rub it in a wasp just flies straight at my arm and stings me, which leads me to shout “JUST FUCK OFF BUSH.”
So basically the neighbours, including some groups on their balconies witnessed a mad woman wearing a white T-shirt covered in blood, with bits of tree in her hair shouting and crying “RAT!” repeatedly at a bush before swearing at it.
Anyway, I did eventually manage to sweet talk the cat out of the shrubbery and get her back upstairs. She is fine. We are not talking though.
TL,DR: Took my cat for a walk, she got spooked and escaped twice and after much blood and injury seen by my neighbours I am in shame. Cat is fine. I am not. But she’s not going outside for a long time.
UBetcha84: At that point I would just say fuck it and go home. If the cat wants to go home it’ll figure it out.
GreilyMoon: I can't even imagine doing something like that. My cat is part of the family and I would literally die for her.
UBetcha84: Did you read the story? She was covered in blood screaming like a lunatic.
But if it makes you feel better, I was joking.
GreilyMoon: woah, no need to be so hostile. yeah my cat wouldn't be able to survive out there so yeah I would be very worried. And if u don't get some scratches from time to time, do u even have a cat?
| 5 | 89.8 | |
1658005993 | 1658067594 | t3_w0ql8x | t5_2to41 | 463 | Kolset_: TIFU by wording a post so bad my account got suspended for the Sexualization of Minors
It was actually around 3 days ago but on r/askreddit I made post asking some where around the lines of "When did society normalize that people shouldn't be
involved romantically or sexually with minors?". I just wanted to know when it started to get criminalized and also when majority of people started to look down on it, but looking back at it the post was worded horrendously. It had just randomly popped into my head so I searched it up and I couldn't find anything definitive so as one does I asked reddit.
I made the post and after maybe 2 hours i got 10 comments and they were all saying "Is this a real post" "Are you being serious right now?" "Huh??? 🤨📸📸". I started to panic because I was being looked like as a weirdo so I deleted the post. A couple hours later I got a notification saying my account is suspended. Im honestly incredibly surprised that a post "sexualizing minors" only got the user suspended less than a week, but at least I didn't get perma banned because of a misunderstanding.
Im also a 17 year old minor.
TL;DR: I got my account suspended because of a misunderstanding of how I worded a post so bad when asking "When did society normalize that people shouldn't be involved romantically or sexually with minors?".
Alarming-Peach6349: You just wanted some information but instead you got put on a list
C_Hawk14: Some questions warrant it, some don't
Alarming-Peach6349: It's not like OP was asking how to make mustard gas.
BloodLust2321: whats mustard gas
hogboger: Poisonous gas used as a weapon during WW1 that can be made from bleach and ammonia.
X7123M3-256: Mixing bleach and ammonia does not make mustard gas. It makes primarily chloramine gas.
hogboger: I have found articles supporting that it does and doesn’t but most articles also say it makes chloramine gas. I am currently trying to figure out what is what.
X7123M3-256: Bleach is sodium hypochlorite (NaOCl) and ammonia is NH3. [There are several reactions that occur when they're mixed](https://sciencenotes.org/mixing-bleach-and-ammonia-heres-what-happens/) - so while the main product is usually chloramine, you can also get chlorine (another WWI chemical weapon) and even hydrazine (a common rocket fuel), all of which are toxic.
But mustard gas is a sulphur compound - C4H8Cl2S. You can't get that as a product from starting materials that don't contain sulphur (or carbon for that matter). Also, the name mustard gas is a misnomer - it's actually a liquid at room temperature.
| 9 | 51.444444 | |
1658005403 | 1658017133 | t3_w0qdu6 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU colossally by not proofreading my email
[removed]
IndependentPede: I really wish people 1) weren't so sensitive and 2) wouldnt take an honest typo to heart so much. Don't we all have bigger things to worry about than a typo? For what it's worth I wouldn't have held it against you.
throwaway5736295: I agree, but often times people are cruel to special needs kids or anyone disadvantaged, and you end up assuming people mean the worst. It was an obvious typo, but to her it is just a likely an awful comment disguised as a typo to be sneakily rude. I'm sure she's experienced all kinds of snide passive remarks before as the teacher of special needs kids.
Of course that's not the case, but you get used to that stuff when you hear it so much it can cloud your judgement or keep you defensive.
| 3 | 4 | |
1658006563 | 1658009692 | t3_w0qs9x | t5_2to41 | 78 | KnightPlutonian: TIFU by flying with Air Canada
So my significant other and I had a tripped planned to go to the UK. Because of a few of her friends' work situations, there were several acquaintances that would be there in the same period of time, some of whom she hadn't seen in years, and mixed with our general desire to visit and see the sights had given us a persuasive reason to finally travel. Air Canada ended up having the best rates, and as Americans the name hadn't been on our radar as an untrustworthy brand, so we booked with them. It was a relatively close booking purchase and hence was fairly expensive, but we thought it worth the expense for the experience, especially since we'd share it with friends.
After a week of prep purchasing things that we thought we'd need (neither of us had traveled outside the country since we were children, and this was our first trip in quite awhile as well) and reading about different local customs and things to be aware of, the day of travel finally came. Our tickets had a small but reasonable layover of a bit over two hours in Vancouver, which then had a direct flight to London (which seemed odd as the best option, but travel routes I guess). We combine what would normally be two carry-ons into a single checked luggage for "convenience" and set off for the flight.
Problems start almost immediately. As we're on route to the airport, we receive a notification that the flight has been delayed half an hour for unspecified reasons. Not a big red flag, it happens and we ended up being a little late departing so this would give us some extra time getting through security. We get to the airport, check our bag, and get settled in to wait for the newly timed flight. During this time, it gets delayed two more times at the gate. We're starting to get concerned, as now our lengthy layover is pretty cramped, with only about 15 minutes between our plane's scheduled arrive and boarding time starting on our next flight. I figure, we've got a late boarding group so we should have plenty of time to walk there before our numbers are called, and this ends up being the last delay at the gate, so we get on the plane with that cramped schedule in mind.
Doors close and we taxi to the runway when the next big problem hits: our captain gets on the intercom and tells us that due to some issue at the airport in Vancouver, we'll be waiting about 20 minutes on the runway to take off. This has us very concerned about showing up late to our next flight, so we flag down a flight attendant and tell him of our predicament. He says he has no way of contacting the airport from the plane, so I request that he passes it on to the gate when we land and dock in Vancouver so they don't take off without us, and receive a very flippant, noncommittal response.
We then sit on the runway for well over half an hour.
At the time our next flight starts boarding (for which we get a text notification, thanks), we finally take off. We're fairly sure we're missing our next flight completely, but we've both had connections changed before, so we do our best to stay calm. After we land, we run for the gate for our next flight. I feel brief relief on seeing the airplane still connected to the loading dock, which turns to abject shock as I watch them close both sets of doors, interior and plane, as we approach the gate. We get to the gate, panting and sweating, and wait in line for a set of completely uninterested gate agents to tell us the plane's doors have been closed and no passengers will be allowed to board; yeah, no shit, I watched you do it.
Fine, what's our rebooking, we ask. They give us a mumbled number for a British Airways flight less than an hour later, and we leave to look at the screens for the next flight. It turns out, the flight number they gave us doesn't leave until early the next morning. We go back to the gate to ask for clarification only to discover every agent has disappeared and I see them chatting amiably on a cart pulling away in the distance. They're too far away to catch and we technically have a flight number, so we just walk to the gate for our new flight. We get an email on route from Air Canada with the new flight, but with the exact same seats as our previous flight which we both find highly unlikely. So when we get there, we start looking for a gate agent to get proper tickets.
No one is present for the next two hours.
During that time we briefly go on a scouting run to see if we can find a desk for another flight, only to discover this is the only British Airways flight in apparently the entire international terminal, so we just have to wait until the flight comes in and the attendants man the gates. We finally walk up and ask for our ticket, please. British Airways pulls out a sheet of paper with lines going all the way down, grabs a pen and crosses out two lines, and tells us in effect, "Air Canada didn't clear this with us, we are overbooked and not accepting any Air Canada passengers on this flight".
Shit.
Alright, so is there a different rebooked flight for us?
No, we did not accept you as customers; everything should be handled by Air Canada.
What about our checked bags?
They are being handled by Air Canada, ask them.
Can we get some hotel vouchers then, since it's unlikely we're getting a plane tonight?
Ask Air Canada, you are their passengers and therefore their responsibility.
Etc, etc, etc.
Okay, we head to a lounge run by Air Canada with a group or two in tow. Apparently, we were not the only ones that had been fucked by Air Canada tonight. We arrive at the lounge to see a crowd of people, maybe fifteen to twenty people strong, talking heatedly to an Air Canada rep we'll call Ronaldo in front of the lounge entrance. At this impromptu rally, we receive the following information:
Firstly, ours was apparently not the only flight to have been delayed that missed the connection to London. There was at least one more that had similar delays from Air Canada, with many passengers missing the same connecting flight. Ronaldo, naturally, refuses to accept responsibility for this; this is "outside the airline's control". The fact that only Air Canada customers have been inconvenienced is unhappy circumstance. Hmmm.
Second off, Ronaldo lets slip that they had evidently tried to late book ***30 passengers*** last minute on the international, 10 hour British Airways flight, with at least six that I confirmedly knew of from our flight being less than 30 minutes from the flight's original boarding time. Air Canada saw no issues with this and somehow lays the blame firmly on British Airways for not accepting us. I guess this explains the completely full paper I saw the British Airways gate agent crossing lines off: it was every Air Canada passenger trying to get to London for the whole evening, apparently.
Lastly, Air Canada had preparations to deal with us: booking all of us on an Air Canada flight leaving the following evening, more than 24 hours after our original departure time and 14 after our original arrival time. They would, in their infinite grace, be providing us with hotel and meal vouchers for that time, we simply had to exit the international terminal and enter Canada, then go to their check-in desk for them to sort that out.
This had naturally properly fucked our travel plans now. The weekend we had planned to hang with our working friends was now going to be completely eaten by travel time and jetlag. We would, at max, have a few hours of hopefully conscious time to connect with our friends and do what we could before they had to turn in for work for the next week. A significant portion of the reason for the trip, completely removed.
Maybe we could salvage what was left, though, we optimistically, basically manically thought at this point. After patiently watching the Ronaldo get rightly torn into by the mom of a 9-year-old traveling for her birthday, we, along with a small crowd of people, follow the guy to an elevator to get shipped into Canada. On the way, we ask about our checked bags and where they were, to which he responds that we will be getting them back at carousel # when we left the airport.
Turns out, if you want to enter Canada, you've got to fill out a Covid form with supporting documents. I don't have any issues with this, since I brought our vaccination documents expecting a similar check (in London, though), but the Customs agents are starting to leave, and it seems like the border is closing. Me and my significant other race anxiously through the forms, and thanks to a very kind Customs agent who held her spot open, becoming the literal last people to cross into Vancouver that night as they shut the gates down directly behind us.
So we proceed to the baggage claim where we were told we could retrieve our checked bag, only to walk a circuit of it and see no bag. We go to the baggage claim desk for Air Canada, which is surrounded by a fortress of lost or unclaimed bags, to talk to a guy I'll call Sandy P (which is only a first name). We did not get his name at the time, nor for a long time after, but he'll be back. Sandy P has clearly picked up this job to lounge about. He chats amiably with his coworker, trading jokes and gentle barbs back and forth, before asking us for our bag tag. He takes a look at his computer screen for less than a second before telling us that Air Canada did not have our bags, and that British Airways were supposed to have taken possession of them. I inform him of what has happened, what Ronaldo said, and why they should be in their care, to which he waves a hand dismissively and gives the same answer. I press him on it, and he annoyedly finally uses his computer, only to repeat the same exact response and let me know that apparently, they are at Pier ##, whatever that's supposed to mean. He tells us to go to the British Airways check-in desk in the terminal, and with no other options we leave to go there, exiting the one-way exit from Baggage Claim into Canada.
When we arrive, they are similarly confused, but a manager helpfully comes out and shows us a baggage document, at least letting us know they were still in Vancouver and hadn't been shipped anywhere else. She reiterates that they should still be in the care of Air Canada, and gives us directions to their desks. The first set of desks we arrive at are completely empty; apparently, every Air Canada employee walked off the millisecond their shift ended, while we were stuck talking to Sandy P and performing an interrogation for the most basic answers, so we continue to a second set described by a security guard. At least this desk is manned by Air Canada employees who seem to have been briefed, either by management or previous passengers that have gone through, on what we were dealing with. We see some becoming-familiar faces of previous passengers from the crowd, as well as a gentleman who's standing off to the side, already having been helped.
We talk with an employee about our next steps, and she tells us that they can get us a meal voucher immediately but that we'd have to wait for a hotel voucher until they could confirm one for us. When asked how long we might have to wait for the voucher, she can't provide a specific time, saying it might be in 30 minutes, in the morning, or not at all. The gentleman gets asked if he's been helped, and I overhear that he's been similarly waiting for his hotel ticket, so I move on to how we could get our checked bag. The employee frowns, checks her system, and says that it should have been at the baggage claim. It takes almost half an hour of discussion with her coworkers and a few managers for her to come back and say we'll have to go to a help phone outside Baggage Claim so an employee can escort us to get our bag back.
Sometime during that waiting period, the guy who was waiting got his hotel voucher sorted out, so we return to the question of a hotel voucher for us. She tells us we can wait to get the voucher and room from them or we can buy our own room that will be reimbursed by the airline. We ask again about the estimated time it would take to get a voucher, and she again reiterates that she can't make any promises on timeliness. I ask how long the gentleman was waiting for his voucher to get a broad time estimate; sure, it would probably take longer, but it'd at least give us a ballpark. She tells us that he had been waiting as one of the earlier people from our flights that had come to the desk. ***Two and a half hours ago.***
It's nearing 1AM, so I'm thinking our chances of getting a hotel through a voucher is effectively none. I'd already seen people sleeping on the benches, and I'm betting a significant percentage of them were from our situation. We decide that there's no way in hell we're waiting up for a hotel room that exists only in the conceptual sense. Even after hearing that refunds can take 2-3 ***months***, we decide that it's probably best to take the shuttle and search for a hotel room ourselves. But first we have to get our checked bag back, so we walk back to the now-shuttered baggage claim gates and get on the help phone. Guess who answered.
Sandy P, winner of the most useless worker award, picks up the phone and asks for a name and our bag tag number. We still didn't have his name, since he introduced himself as the Air Canada desk, but I give the information to him. He recognizes either my voice or the number and starts berating me that he'd already given us the information and that it was with British Airways, and I reiterate what the gate agent had told us. To defend himself, he then tells us that he doesn't have access to our bag location because it turns out when he said they were on Pier ##, what that meant was that they had literally left the bags for the passengers who weren't connected out on the tarmac of the airport. They weren't brought to the baggage carousel like we were told, they were just sitting out in the elements, and he's not authorized to go out there. At this point, I've got no idea what to do, so I send my SO back to the helpdesk we were just at and ask Sandy P for his name, so I can relay who he was and what he was saying to the employee we just talked to. He refuses to provide it, and immediately tells me he's going to talk to a coworker before putting me on hold.
Like a fool, I stay on hold for about 20 minutes before giving up on the hope that he's actually interested in doing his job, and hang up to call my SO. She lets me know that the people at the helpdesk had gone, and she was now in domestic baggage claim talking to someone we'll call Manny, who has confirmed that he can help us. I hang up and make my way to her and Manny. After talking with a coworker for a few minutes, he confirms the first employee's instructions to go to the help phone at international baggage claim and ask for help there. When we tell him we did this, he finally gets me a name for international baggage guy, asking "So you talked to Sandy P?", a name which matches with the appearance and accent of the person we talked to, and we confirm it. He agrees to walk us over there and figure out what's going on, and takes a distant lead as the most helpful person we'd talked to all day by doing so.
We arrive at the gates and Manny drops us off outside, since we can't go in without authorization cards like his. He walks through and we settle on the benches for what I was sure was going to be an hour of waiting; not more than 20 minutes later, Manny and Sandy P both walk out the doors pushing two cards laden with multiple bags from our flight, with an angelic choir and ray of sunshine pointing my gaze directly to our checked bag. Through social cues, we manage to gather that Manny is Sandy P's manager, and evidently, Sandy P did in fact have the authorization to grab the bags from the tarmac, the lazy ass. My SO points out afterwards, though, he has removed his previously present nametag. I gratefully thank Manny (and in my relief forget to rake Sandy P through the coals and restate his name to his goddamn face), and we get to waiting for the shuttle to the hotel area.
There we meet our runner up for most helpful person of the night, an employee for the airport, who tells us a couple things. First, the shuttle runs a quarter before and after the hour, and we can follow him on the bus since he's headed that way anyway. Secondly, apparently the reason everyone is getting screwed is because during the pandemic, the airlines laid off a significant portion of their employees and could not rehire them in time for the travel season due to a combination of authorization delay after hiring and hiring at the same rates as they were paying previously (basically minimum wage) for grueling work. And finally he gave us the locations of a few hotels to check with if the one he was staying in ended up not having any open spaces. The bus for the quarter after the hour (2:15AM at this point) ends up not coming, and our newly found friend calls the driver he knows who lets him know that the quarter past isn't coming, and to wait for the 2:45AM bus instead. It's a little chilly, but there's effectively nothing we can do, so we grin and bear it and eventually the bus comes and we finally make it to the hotel district.
We check with the first hotel where we say our goodbyes to the silver medalist and check with their front desk, who gives us the bad news that they have no spaces. So we start wandering the streets of Downtown Vancouver at 3:00AM like the haunted spirits of the damned, making our way from hotel to hotel as described by the airport employee, with each giving us a negative response that they are completely booked. Just as I try to get to grips that we might have to rough the night on a bench somewhere, we hit our last hotel, where a fast talking clerk tells us that he has one room because of a cancellation only minutes ago. He browbeats us into effectively bribing him for the room, and we secure lodging at drastically overpriced rates and immediately crash.
The next morning, I get to work. We had refused a rebooking of the same flight at the helpdesk the previous night since, by this point, not only had we missed out on the opportunity to meet up with our friends, but it was almost assured that baggage agents in the caliber of Sandy P would be handling our checked bag not only to London but also on the way back, so we try to book a rental so we can simply drive our way back home, which would take less time than even an average trip and flight from the airport. Over the course of two hours, we call about 10 locations, each of which inform us that they have no cars for a one-way trip to rent that day, and check online to confirm that this is correct in their websites as well. So we unwillingly call a shuttle back to the airport, because we are going to have to entrust our safety, sanity, and stuff back to Air Canada so they can get us back home.
We get there and talk to the gates only to be told that we will not be getting any free return trip home, since we refused to continue to our original destination, and we hear the bureaucratic nonsense again that British Airways should have been responsible for accommodations and reimbursement. I'm not too worried about that, since I've got an Air Canada meal voucher in pocket to prove that they claimed responsibility for our well-being, whatever, I'd like to get home. We instead get the news that Air Canada will happy take us back home - by using the portion of our return ticket from London. At this point, I just want to be home with our stuff, so I accept. Every agent we talk to in the process confirms that we've been royally screwed over, and to check Canadian consumer law about reimbursement, which was pleasantly cathartic to hear, and (after several delays, naturally), we board a flight from Air Canada and finally, mercifully, get our stuff and go home.
Which brings us to the present, where after 3 hours on the phone I'm hearing that our unused flights can't be refunded through their system and have to be reviewed manually because they're still keeping up the front that British Airways is supposed to have taken responsibility for us, which has somehow screwed the entire ticket in their system. I've got only a website form regarding reimbursement and compensation because evidently there's no phone line or office where I can talk to a person about it. And now I'm looking up Canadian consumer protection laws and maybe a lawyer to see how much Air Canada has fucked us.
In summary, fuck you Air Canada bureaucracy, fuck you Sandy P, and fuck you Ronaldo, I hope you all go bankrupt. Thanks, Customs Agent, Manny and Shuttle Guy, I hope you find a moose made of gold on your properties. And to the dozen other employees, agents, and other folks who helped the best they could, I hope you get a surprise extra side with your next food order.
**TL;DR: I decided to fly Air Canada and had a once-in-a-lifetime trip cancelled, our stuff almost lost, a bunch of money burned, and our mental health shredded by stress**
MaciTako02: Dang I feel really bad for you. Which ass did Sandy P pull his job out of?
KnightPlutonian: If he were just taking it easy, honestly I would have been fine with it. It was the fact that he didn't put in any effort and actively refused to help me in any way until I accidentally brought his manager over.
| 3 | 26 | |
1658006654 | 1658010670 | t3_w0qteq | t5_2to41 | 33 | pugglet_97: TIFU by convincing my boyfriend he had monkeypox
First off I apologise for formatting as on mobile. And this was last night.
Over the last few days my bf has started getting these spots filled with clear fluid. They got worse and worse, some going massive and yellow and just spreading.
He messaged me fairly concerned and sent pictures of them. I half joking suggested monkeypox as it did match the pictures (and he did have some of the other symptoms) although he hadn’t done any of the risk taking behaviours or been in contact despite being out of the country. Well he took me as serious and woke his flatmate up to drive him to A&E.
A&E took one look and said “yeah this does look like it” and proceeded to put him into isolation. This morning the doctor came round to review and agreed with the nurse assessment and sent him to infectious diseases. They also agreed it did look like monkeypox. There was talk of keeping him in and isolating until they could test on Monday until they asked him “Have you ever had chickenpox”. My bf responded “he had not”. He was promptly discharged home.
This idiot had chickenpox and had spent the night in hospital for no reason.
As I result I had no sleep due to stress(neither did the bf) and his flatmate now hates me for the fact he was woken to take him to hospital when he had work and so I’m now banned from the flat.
TLDR : boyfriend spent a sleepless night in isolation in hospital thinking he had monkeypox, it was chickenpox.
DoIKnowYouHuman: Now follows a public service announcement on behalf of UK healthcare professionals: if you suspect you have monkeypox the current guidance is to contact your GP, local Sexual Health Clinic or call 111. DO NOT go to a hospital or other medical establishment unless advised to do so by a healthcare professional
pugglet_97: I could have killed him. I asked did you at least wear a mask. He did not. As a student nurse j was livid with him for that
DoIKnowYouHuman: And yet you’re the one banned from his place :/ men are strange creatures!
pugglet_97: Flatmate blamed me so that’s just how it is :(
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1658009942 | 1658066204 | t3_w0rysi | t5_2to41 | 3,183 | Technical-Dot9189: TIFU by asking my teenage sons what DP means
So, picture the scene: myself (46F) and my 2 sons, who are 14 and 16, are sitting watching TV. Specifically a programme called Mythic Quest, which they wish to see as it has people associated with It’s Always Sunny. We agree it’s not great, but it’s good to have on in the background whilst we browse our phones, or I do some crafts.
So I am sitting with my embroidery and one character on the show speaks of a new video game feature called “Dinner Party”. She makes a live stream video advertising this and the programme shows Rob McEl in his office saying “please don’t say DP, please don’t say DP”, and of course she *does* say DP.
Being the innocently-minded person I am, lol, and also a non-native speaker of English, I have no idea for what this DP stands. I presume something to do with gaming. But my sons both sort of laughed when they heard it, so I realise they know the meaning. So I ask them.
I didn’t even take my eyes from my embroidery to ask, but when I feel the tension in the room, I look up and see them both blushing profusely. My eldest stammers that he is “not sure”. So of course I pretend to believe them and we move past it.
Later I look it up on my phone and learn that it stands for “double penetration”.
I am mortified for asking my sons this question! I should have learned, because some weeks ago, I received a strange message on Reddit asking if I was a “MILF” (how even does one answer this?!), and I asked one son what a MILF is, as I didn’t know this term. He was very embarrassed and I felt so badly for asking this to him. This question is nothing compared to the DP question, I think, but still very embarrassing.
From now on, I will just Google EVERYTHING!
TL;DR - I asked my sons what DP is, presuming it was something to do with video games. Turns out it’s “double penetration”. Whoops.
dust-bit-another-one: I had the privilege of answering my MIL when she asked what a pearl necklace was one time…
CunnyMaggots: I had to explain this and road head to my ex's dad not once but twice while playing CAH. He was sure Roah Head was the name of a heavy metal band and a pearl necklace was definitely jewelry. *sigh*
Technical-Dot9189: I still don’t know what a pearl necklace is, as to me it is what Lisa Simpson wears around her neck! Another thing to look up online for me.
Ah, road head I do know. Well only recently did I learn the term, but it seems instinctively I knew the concept 😳 Because I tried once very many years ago, when my husband and myself were first married, to please my husband in this manner whilst he was driving. He was not at all impressed, and pushed my head away. I think I actually cried, lol, because I was feeling so very rejected by him. Later we had a HUGE argument about it, because he was horrified I would try this act when he was driving. I thought I was being spontaneous and I don’t know, I thought he would enjoy this, as every other time we engaged in this act, he loved it. But he was very angry with me for endangering people on the road by distracting him whilst driving. At the time I felt so very upset, but looking back I see that he was right. Imagine if someone was killed because I was doing that and we crashed our car. In my defence, I was only in my 20s and very inexperienced at the time, but still. Anyway, I cringe now when I hear this term “road head”!
Unevenscore42: Backwoods roads are perfect for it. Though I have also seen it on the freeway from my vantage point in a big rig
Technical-Dot9189: I will never forget during our argument over this issue, my husband shouted that if we had gone over a pot hole I might bite his cock off!! These words have stayed with me for so many years. I’m surprised it’s so common.
Unevenscore42: This is true. One does tend to slow down. I don't know how they managed at 60mph.
Sunzoner: Quite a few dont. At least one guy died trying it with his escort in my city.
Unevenscore42: That sucks...
Bike_Chain_96: Yeah she did
Unevenscore42: But did he finish?
Bike_Chain_96: Was his name Joe?
| 12 | 265.25 | |
1658011139 | 1658020487 | t3_w0sdxv | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a link to my porn Reddit account to a group chat with my family…
[deleted]
fleshjenn: Tell them it was actually your sisters and you were just trying to get a family intervention started before she falls further down her destructive path! Lol
Hudson_the_meme: OP, please do this
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1658014717 | 1658017570 | t3_w0tksg | t5_2to41 | 15 | 0c4t_br4inz0: TIFU by getting too drunk at a party
TDIF something happened at the party i went to and idk what to do
boring title and i know people won't really read this, but i need help and advice.
it was after prom, everyone had parties and stuff that they were going to and i had one with some close friends.
originally i was going home around 3, but then it turns out it would have been a lot for my sister to pick me up at that time (she has a 4 month old so- managing sleep and other things around the little one is difficult), so i ended up being allowed to stay the night.
so my brain goes 'hell yeah, let's get smashed now'. where as my original plan wad only a cider.
two shots of straight vodka, two and a half ciders, sone peach schnapps and some sour apple stuff later i am completely gone.
i don't remember much, just bits n bobs like when we started to play truth or dare.
some of us were sober or not as drunk, which was cool. and some (like who will be very much mentioned) were very very very much gone like i was.
i wake up the next morning and get told that apparently one of our guy friends and i ended up making out after he touched my tits n stuff. luckily my friends butted in and separated us and then he went home immediately after.
but i have a bf.
i need to tell him this, even if i don't remember it. and i want to because i feel guilty as shit.
i love him to pieces, and i know i wouldn't have done anything like this but i'm a people pleaser and i feel like with how i got told i was acting when drunk, i probably went along with whatever.
how should i go about this ? i know there's a risk of him never trusting me again, and i wished my bf had been at this party, too.
i really want to spend the rest of my life with my bf, and i'm worried so much.
TLDR: made out with a guy when very drunk; dk if it was forced, can't remember it, but i have a bf and i need to tell him bc i feel too guilty.
EDIT: i told him today and it went well :} he said he still trusts me and doesn't hate me for it, nor is he angry-
he said if anything, he trusts me more as i told him instead of just keeping it to myself.
he said he also almost expected it, as stuff like this happens at parties with anyone so he doesn't mind-
Hbimajorv: Why were you at a party without this bf you wanna spend the rest of your life with?
Bad_Trip_Bears: ??? Why can't she go to a party without her BF? I agree it's a mistake, but your line of logic only has a place in codependent toxic relationships.
The mark of a healthy relationship would indeed be one where each individual can live their own life and experience life, such as on occasion doing things separately like going to a party alone. Her decision to go to a party without her BF should not be what we are challenging.
Hbimajorv: You missed the point. If she wants to be in a committed relationship she needs to be able to manage her alcohol intake, if she can, sure go have a good time, if not, she should probably not go partying without him. If for nothing else than her own safety. People make mistakes but trust is built not just given, and this kind of thing breaks that down.
Edit: plus it was after prom. A huge event at that age in life. Common sense says couples would be together at any gathering after. It's just... Odd
Bad_Trip_Bears: Firstly, this isn't the sentiment at all that came across in your initial post. I didn't miss "this" point, it wasn't even observable to be missed. An objective view of your initial reply was plainly about challenging going to the party alone..
Thanks for the extra context though. Now you have made your point plain and observable so I cannot miss it further.
If this is your point, I still disagree. It sounds like she is young, and you presume she "knows" her alcohol limits and how to manage it. Often in life we learn by making mistakes. This might be this case in point for this. When I was younger I learned in a similar fashion for alcohol. Oops. That was too much.
Further, her Alcohol limit and behavior is nothing at all to do with her boyfriend. It's about HER. Its not about going to the party with him/without him. Even if she was single she could still feel remorse/regret on this as a drunken behavior, absent any relationship. It's about addressing the behavior, understanding what caused it, and how to reduce/eliminate a repeated incident. If your take is "well don't go to parties without your BF then" - I really don't know how you problem solve other areas then. "Car broke down and I was late for work." Well, don't go driving without your BF in the car then!
/S
| 5 | 3 | |
1658014792 | 1658038233 | t3_w0tlp8 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Either_Dragonfly_956: TIFU by making a joke about a Black protagonist
I know what the title sounds like, but please hold your fire until you read the full story.
My brother, cousin, and I went to the movies earlier today, and we saw a preview for the Disney movie Strange World. Like the title of this post says, it has a Black protagonist, or at least someone who appears to be the protagonist. I don't know what compelled me to do this, but I joked to my brother, "Wow, Disney's first Black protagonist! How revolutionary!" The point of the joke is that nowadays, everytime Disney makes a movie with a POC protagonist, they make such a big deal about it and how inclusive they are.
But instead of laughing, my brother informed me that the two families on either side of us were, in fact, Black.
The joke no longer seemed funny to me. I felt so embarrassed, and I started wondering if my comment had been in poor taste or had somehow been offensive. Thankfully, neither of the familes said anything and they didn't even look over at us, so I just hope they didn't hear or didn't care. I'd hate to know that I offended them.
TL;DR- I'm never making an edgy joke in public ever again lol.
NostradaMart: yeah...the story doesn't make it better.
Sad-Echo-6838: literally what I said as I was reading
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1658021369 | 1658022339 | t3_w0voub | t5_2to41 | 38 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #32! Come share your stories and hang out!
lola-skumpy: literally all of the haul and unboxing videos piss me off
Puzzleheaded_Disk700: They're so useless
lola-skumpy: right?! like literally no one gives a fuck
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1658021408 | 1658283076 | t3_w0vpbd | t5_2to41 | 40,062 | captainwhitelightin: TIFU by masturbating after my wife had our son, now she thinks the house is haunted.
So I have recently become a father. My son is a week old and I have been home with mom and baby the whole time. Needless to say I was getting a little restless at home even with the lack of sleep that comes with a new kid.
For obvious reasons my wife and I couldn’t pass the time in the bedroom as normal. Mainly due to the expected impact of childbirth. My son’s huge head didn’t help things. So I decided not to bother my wife and sleeping baby and slipped off to the bathroom with phone and lotion to discreetly take care of business.
Perusing my go-to site I find the video of choice. First thing that pops up is an ad of a girl yelling “Oh Baby” with the volume on my phone at full blast. I quickly turn it down and proceed to business.
I return to my wife in the living room and all I see is shock on her face as he holds my son looking worried. I ask “what’s wrong” fearing she is mad at me for taking care of business solo. She looked at me dead serious and said “Something whispered ‘Hey baby’ to our son after you left and now I’m freaked out.”
For some background my wife believes in ghosts/spirits as crazy as it sounds. She has told me about seeing odd things in our house and believing she heard people talking before. So this did not help and she is even more worried with our new addition.
She is currently burning sage through our house to ‘remove the spirits.’ I don’t have the heart to tell her I was just horny and she overheard me watching porn.
TL;DR: I tickled my pickle with no volume discipline and an ad played where the actress said ‘baby.’ Now my wife thinks our house is haunted and ghosts want to talk to our baby.
CrazyDuckTape: That feeling when hiding a perfectly natural need is more important to you than your wifes mental health.
scaffnet: She believes in ghosts, her mental health is already compromised.
Rom839: At least she's not using porn and lying about it.
scaffnet: It’s perfectly fine to keep porn use to oneself. It’s not perfectly fine to believe in ghosts to the extent that you do what she did.
Darazakaraz: And how do her beliefs negatively affect anyone but her?
scaffnet: Well for starters, it’s negatively affecting her spouse and their relationship. If she passes on these beliefs to her child, she will be causing the child to feel unnecessary anxiety and stress about something that isn’t real.
Darazakaraz: >Well for starters, it’s negatively affecting her spouse and their relationship.
No its not. Where does op say that?
> she passes on these beliefs to her child, she will be causing the child to feel unnecessary anxiety and stress about something that isn’t real.
If is a theoretical, not a certainty. Its just as likely the child, if they adopt the belief, will simply respect death more.
scaffnet: What does believing in something that isn’t real have to do with respecting death?
Darazakaraz: You completely ignored -
>Well for starters, it’s negatively affecting her spouse and their relationship.
>No its not. Where does op say that?
You should try answering that
And because belief in anything death related brings one to recognition of mortality. Seeing people die in my youth has led to me accepting my future fate, and the fate of all that are mortal.
Encountering, or believing one has encountered, anything related to death instills a recognition of fatality.
scaffnet: And you completely ignored, “what does believing in something that isn’t real have to do with respecting death?”
Darazakaraz: I literally just explained it, read.
scaffnet: No you didn’t. You went off on a tangent. Explain how believing in ghosts, freaking out about ghosts, running around in your house burning herbs to get rid of ghosts, has anything to do with accepting your future fate and the fate of all that is mortal.
Darazakaraz: Listen very carefully
Encountering, or believing you ahve encountered, death or whatever comes after can get you comfortable with the most inevitable truth of all: we all die.
Ghosts are spirits of the dead. If they exist or dont doesnt matter; the act of "encountering" them can get one used to their own mortality, something most run from. But over time one can grow to acceptdeath and not fear it like so many do today.
Also, nice moving the goalposts. Original question - "What does believing in something that isn’t real have to do with respecting death?"
Oh and you still have completely ignored -
>Well for starters, it’s negatively affecting her spouse and their relationship.
>No its not. Where does op say that?
Answer where OP has said that please, in quotes.
scaffnet: Byeeeeeee
Darazakaraz: So no ability to respond to actual points? I expected as much
scaffnet: 
Darazakaraz: Doin your mom
scaffnet: 
Darazakaraz: Doin your mom
| 20 | 2,003.1 | |
1658021619 | 1658036006 | t3_w0vrs0 | t5_2to41 | 33 | Smokey-Walker: TIFU by finding out my parents were swingers
[removed]
judycandy: Damn, i know for sure my parents ain’t swingers bc they literally don’t have any friends or interact w much people
cossacksman: Where there's a willy, there's a way.
Rob_AMG: Willies, Willies, I like Willies.
| 4 | 8.25 | |
1658021418 | 1658064576 | t3_w0vpgx | t5_2to41 | 12 | ZetaMakesThings: TIFU by Boycotting the Fast Fashion Industry
[removed]
throwawaysbacct1: I’m confused? You make your own clothes & they end up in the same spot
Is the fight against pollution or human extortion of labor?
ZetaMakesThings: Why can the fight not be against both?
throwawaysbacct1: they will end up at the spot
ZetaMakesThings: Okay? So what? I can still chose to not want my clothes to be made with slave labor, so what if they end up at 'the spot'?
throwawaysbacct1: Jeez it was a question have a nice day xx
ZetaMakesThings: Yeah it was a question that didn't make any sense so I was confused
| 7 | 1.714286 | |
1658023301 | 1658024327 | t3_w0warb | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by ratting on my sister because I saw her Reddit post and now she’s been sent away.
[deleted]
peternal_pansel: I would say y’all need Jesus but it’s really sex ed and therapy.
DoIKnowYouHuman: The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
| 3 | 6 | |
1658029662 | 1658030856 | t3_w0y7x2 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by throwing my life and my career away
[deleted]
Potatotornado20: Eventually you will figure things out cos it sounds like you have no choice.
InfluenceHistorical1: I know idk what to do rn
Potatotornado20: Do whatever in 5 years time you can look back on and be proud that you did it.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1658031428 | 1658034143 | t3_w0yquk | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: tifu by cleaning my bathroom
[deleted]
Mysterious_Nature193: Wow, you're a walking miracle.
Just out of curiosity, which of the crazy things you've ingested taste better than expected?
Vastlyunpopular2: definitely the paint. solid 4/10
hand sanitizer tastes the worst -20/10
bleach is 1/10 and tidepods 2½/10
| 3 | 1.666667 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.