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1658182515 | 1658185015 | t3_w2bv5s | t5_2to41 | 7 | Throwaway_urtrash3: TIFU by calling my Mexican friend a slur.
So this story actually has a HUGE timeline. But here it goes.
When dating my ex, he had a group of friends. His one friend in particular who is Mexican, that I loved, I always thought he was awesome.
One time while hanging out with all of them, months into our relationship, I called him the name that our friend group always called him. There was a strange silence and everyone went back to what they were doing.
Fast forward 2 years, I learn what the word was. It was NOT a nickname, but instead a slur for Mexican individuals. I have felt guilty ever since, and it hides in the back of my head.
I don’t know if it’s worth it to apologize now, or if he even remembers it. But I felt insanely guilty. We have reconnected recently so I want to apologize but it might be awkward.
Tl;dr I called a Mexican friend a slur thinking it was a nickname and didn’t find out until years later. No wonder why the room went silent.
superyorch: I think your friend may have already figured out that you didn't know what you were saying. In any case, you may approach it lightly and just mention it as in: remember that time I called you something that I didn't know what it meant? I was so dumb to use what I thought was a nickname, but we're cool, right? That may work. Good luck 👍
Throwaway_urtrash3: That’s what I was thinking, honestly. I was super naive at that time, I did a lot of dumb shit. Right out of highschool, just learning the rules of the world. I know we’re cool for sure, but I plan on touching on it soon! Thanks!
superyorch: I hear you, I was the same through high school as well. But I am Mexican and I can tell you we are cool when it comes.to that kind of tifu 😁
Throwaway_urtrash3: Thanks! And I’m sorry ❤️
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1658188121 | 1658191353 | t3_w2dyev | t5_2to41 | 19 | Lance4494: TIFU by shopping while at work.
This didn't happen today, but a few years ago. I only recently thought everyone might enjoy the story.
so i was working as an overnight patient care technician at a large hospital, mostly drain peoples blood and chat with coworkers all night. on this particular night I was fighting sleep and decided to login to amazon and look up prices for some things, mostly MTG cards, DnD mats and books. Normal nerdy shit. 2 of my coworkers slash friends are another tech and the charge nurse (the person you go to when all hell breaks loose). Eventually its time to go around to the patients and be an asshole to wake them up at 5 in the morning for another round of vitals.
30 minutes later and my patients can go back to sleep. I get back to the help center where we all hang out, only to realize that i left my amazon account open on the monitor. Sitting back in my seat, I start to go back to what i was doing only to notice something, 3 new items in my shopping cart.....
A **fox style butt plug**, a **powerful vibrator**, and a **pair of cat ears**......
Stifled laughter behind me and I already know one of the two or possibly both of them are responsible. It took me the whole next week to figure out that it was in fact the charge nurse who came up with the idea.
Long story short i learned your shouldn't leave personal accounts open in public places, ~~even~~... especially when friends are nearby! had this been someone who wanted to purchase things using my info they would have had no problems. learned a valuable lesson.
TL;DR left my amazon account open at work, only to come back to sex toys in my shopping cart.
BinkoTheViking: I think you meant: *shouldn’t.
Lance4494: yup thats definitely what i meant, thank you
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1658190164 | 1658253806 | t3_w2eoc8 | t5_2to41 | 16 | semiTnuP: TIFU By Eating The Wrong Thing An Hour Before Bed
This just happened. I went to sleep at 11pm local time tonight. I usually wind up on my stomach when I sleep and there's a fan blowing on me to keep me cool. This will be important later. Unbeknownst to me, I had eaten something(s) that really didn't agree with me. It takes me an hour to fall asleep at which point I start to dream. Now, this dream was of a forbidden sexual encounter so I won't go into detail on it, but things were getting interesting when it happened.
Thanks to me laying on my stomach, my ass was situated directly in the wind tunnel of the fan. While sleeping, my bowels let rip with the most rancid, wettest, loudest fart I have ever experienced in my entire life. It was so powerful, I felt an echo of it even in my dream. Of course, this is carried by the fan to my unsuspecting nostrils.
Me and my dream partner freeze in the middle of...things...and look at each other. She suddenly gets up, mutters "I have to go", and practically sprints out the door. Almost before I can process what's going on, the second wave of the smell hits my nostrils and I wake up.
Now I'm sitting on the porcelain throne having an altogether different kind of nighttime experience and sardonically laughing at just how bad this smells. I wish I knew what triggered this but I've got no f\*\*king clue.
Wherever the rest of you are, I hope you're doing better!
TLDR: I ate or drank something I shouldn't have and my farts were so terrible, they made my own dreams abandon me!
AcrobaticSource3: You 100% should be happy this happened before you cummed in your sleep. If you cummed, then your dick would be conditioned to cum every time you smelled a wet rancid fart, just like Pavlov’s dog drooled every time it heard a bell. And cumming to farts is much weirder than drooling to a bell
Cryptocaned: Wut
AcrobaticSource3: You know it
| 4 | 4 | |
1658192430 | 1658223145 | t3_w2fgpf | t5_2to41 | 7 | ebaa_: TIFU by accidentally calling a girl I liked a prostitute:
[removed]
ThirdIRoa: I think this is the wrong sub to tell people you're excited to have a gf lol
ebaa_: I thought the fuck up at the start was interesting
ThirdIRoa: The "fuck up" was just you making a joke, somehow selling by over explaining the obvious, yet still she laughed through your idiocy probably thinking it's cute. You then asked her out and she said yes. The only fuck up was you apologizing religiously for a joke when she asked what you would give for her in the first place.
I would've said a half eaten hotdog and a penny.
ebaa_: No, the fuck up was the joke that could have been misunderstood
Edit: and I actually care for her so I would have probably actually given 200$ for her and even more
ThirdIRoa: And when she asks if you think she's a prostitute say, no you'd be an escort because prostitutes take crack for payment.
| 6 | 1.166667 | |
1658194099 | 1658245166 | t3_w2g1in | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU By Masturbating In My Bedroom
[removed]
JohnDeere714: This is why you rub one off in the bathroom. You get privacy and you can use the excuse of taking a mean shit to explain the time
Quiet_Goat8086: Shower works great. You can play music to cover any sounds the water doesn’t.
JohnDeere714: Yeah. But sometimes you don’t get that good water pressure that can’t break the splooge loose and it gets stuck to the floor. Most showers have white floors are white and dimly lit so now you’re playing in a mine field hoping you don’t step in splooge while you try and wash it down the drain. Jerking on the toilet allows for more precise disposal and cleanup. You can also turn on the fan so people will avoid the area as they fear that the smell of Shit will be enough to knock them out.
rtosser: This guy jerks off.
JohnDeere714: I mean. What else are you supposed to do when you and your gf work two different shifts
guardian2428: Meet for "meal breaks"
JohnDeere714: Her job is almost an hour away from me. Not worth the time and gas for a 2 minute blowie. I don’t last that long but she gets bored quick XD
| 8 | 6 | |
1658195109 | 1658353855 | t3_w2gdx6 | t5_2to41 | 6 | KiraRuby709: TIFU by leaving my spilled water in my metal bedside tray.
CW: gross
For info I'm f15 and autistic so I don't always make the *best* decisions to say the least. To be exact, two days ago is when the fuck-up happened. I spilled water I was drinking out of at night when I was falling asleep, I kicked it on accident with my leg. I have a loft bed and the tray is at the end where my feet are. So being the lazy teen I am, I left it and fell asleep. I woke up the next day and the odor was kinda bad but not overpoweringly bad. It also might be a good idea to say my tray had a lot of junk I left on it (like a lesbian pride button which got ruined ;-;). Some of the stuff included wrappers, small mini bubble wands, a stick that looked kinda like a gun, a stone I painted that was small, some beads, and some bracelets. So today is where the real bad stuff happened. I woke up and the smell was terrible (as my dad described to me later today, rancid) and had chunks of slimy gel looking clumps formed in the water. Half the water probably evaporated by then. I played video games like Honkai Impact and watched Drew Gooden throughout the day, not going to the side of my bed where the tray was because the smell was so bad. I alerted my dad earlier today at probably 6:00 pm because it gotten so bad I couldn't stay in my room. He threw a bunch of stuff off my tray into the trash and cleaned it outside. We left my bracelets but my favorite stick was thrown out. Anyways my dad said it smelled like decomposition as well which is weird cuz I don't eat meat. Anyways how's your Monday?
TL;DR my metal loft bed tray gave off a rancid decomposing smell because I was too lazy to clean my water I spilled off it.
iMali_inqabile: How can water create such a smell
Cryptocaned: The things living in the water from a dirty rubbish filled tray.
iMali_inqabile: Still suprizes me haha
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1658196899 | 1658197417 | t3_w2h0dl | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a nosebleed- resulting in me getting outed as transgender
[deleted]
bigwavedave000: Please excuse my ignorance, I don't know all the transgender lingo. You sound like you have a good support network, and a good core group of friends. You can be whomever you want in this world, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about.
Small-Needleworker91: Thank you, and I agree completely. Hearing it from someone else definitely makes me feel better about it, though.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658199981 | 1658203146 | t3_w2i2ft | t5_2to41 | 6 | Meatgrinder9000: TIFU by Touching My Boyfriend Then Bringing Up My Ex
Ok, for some backstory, I have had very little sexual encounters. Nothing has led anywhere past light groping and making out which I am completely fine with, in fact I prefer it to stay that way. My first sexual experience was really just my ex grabbing my hand and putting it between their thighs. I did a similar thing with my current partner where I put my hand between their thighs while I was asleep, only stopping when I regained consciousness. The whole thing made me wildly uncomfortable, if I’m honest. However, not too long ago I was hanging out at my boyfriends place. We were cuddling casually, his head on my chest while I stroked his back (we were both fully clothed). I noticed he started shivering after a few minutes. He told me that his upper back was super sensitive and, unfortunately, my half asleep self decided it’d be a good idea to keep touching that area. A few minutes later he started shaking more and pulled my hand away, and I abruptly apologized. I felt absolutely terrible for not stopping when he’d told me that that area was sensitive so I brought us to another topic: the night I’d been touching his thigh while I was asleep. I told him that I realized it was because of my ex (who I talked about with some of our mutual friends because of our problems with them— they brought us all to doing drugs and oversexualized both us and themself — so my boyfriend is well aware of who this is and that we don’t like them). His immediate reaction was to make a sour face and understandably got upset. I apologized again repeatedly to which he replied “no, it’s fine, I don’t care, it doesn’t matter.” But after I left he sent me a message about how he felt second hand and something else about my ex. I felt, and still feel terrible for bringing it up, and feel even worse for touching him like that regardless of my mental state. I think I should break up with him not only because of that, but also because I am not in love with him anymore. But I am also upset that he didn’t think about my situation with my ex but rather the fact that he was “second hand”. I don’t know what to do?? He said I shouldn’t apologize because it wouldn’t matter, so what else is there to do besides break up with him?
Edit: JFC, I get it and I’ve broken up with him. TL;DR
FistOfGamera: If you're going to break up with him just do it and stop making his life miserable.
brittmac422: I hate saying this, but, this post seems like it's from a 13 yr old girl (at best). This stuff that was typed up was terrible. This had to have been a joke or something.
Meatgrinder9000: It wasn’t a joke, I was just typing this on the bus, so sorry if it sounds shitty
And also I’m a dude
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1658200622 | 1658203113 | t3_w2ia5w | t5_2to41 | 5 | Flyingfuckware: TIFU by shatting my pants in the school pick up line.
So didn’t happen today but I just felt like sharing my most embarrassing life’s moment.
Last year, I was waiting in my suv in line to pick up my daughter from school with my toddler who was napping. I got there about 45 minutes early bc the line was mahoosively long already (and I was blocked in by 3 lanes of cars so peeling out wasn’t an option) and was chilling until I felt an insidious stirring in my intestines. Whatever, I’ll just hold it. The pressure builds and builds until I try to rip a fart in hopes of relieving a little of the pressure but what had come out was pure liquid shit. In the front seat of my brand new Kia Sorento I’d received as a gift from my husband weeks before. My pants are dirty but I have to go get cleaned up because who can sit in shit for 45 minutes? My kindergartner would freak at the smell and make a scene as soon as she got in. So I make the plunge, grab my toddler, and make a dash into the 50 degree rainy shit fest, abandoning my new, now shitty car. I make it into the school office and the receptionist takes one look at me- one second of deep eye contact before she sends me to the nurse and I go wreck their bathroom unceremoniously and cry on the phone to my husband about my shitty day, my toddler complaining and screeching all the while because of the smell. After the shit storm had settled, I calmly flush my underwear, trudge through the now heavier rain to my car, kid in tow, and continue about the rest of my day. Luckily my seat was able to be cleaned (thanks luxe care)
TL;DR I shit my pants in the car pickup like at my kindergartner’s school. Don’t wait in a line too long if you have IBS.
brittmac422: Well, if nothing else, you are an honest person. Props for that.
Flyingfuckware: Honesty makes me feel better. At least someone else can get a laugh out of my unfortunate shit-uation
brittmac422: Hey there, never said I wasn't in a similar boat. Or poopy boat.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1658200876 | 1658231388 | t3_w2id55 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Switchofftheoltop: TIFU by unintentionally making the grocery clerk at the register cry
Trigger Warning: Topics on Abuse
I was running errands after work today and stopped by the grocery store for a few things to make dinner. Shockingly, the store was empty and the staff at the registers were waiting at the front of their lines to flag customers down who are ready to check out.
I walked up to the next open clerk and tried to jokingly say, “Hey, you look bored. I’ll give ya someone to abuse for a minute.” (ETA: never thought I would have to make these sentences in my life, but apparently I need to clarify.
Whoa, not sure how this got sexual in any way. I worked in retail for years and was trying to jokingly flip the script on how customers abuse employees. Was not implying anything related to BDSM. Seriously, I don’t know how I lead anyone there)
I was not funny in any way and I more than awkwardly struck a chord. In the five feet (1.53m for the rest of the world) it took her to get to the register, she was bawling. Completely in tears.
I felt like a royal douche as soon as I saw her face. The look on her face reminded me of my sister when she was getting away from her worst of the worst. She tried her best to be professional while I showered her with every apology I could. I asked if there was anything she needed help with or someone to talk to. Not necessarily expecting her to trust me to talk to, I knew I messed up big time, but to just find out she was safe or needed resources. I basically forced her into having a panic attack.
The only thing I could think of from there was, besides apologizing profusely, to try to encourage her to take a sick/personal day and find somebody she trusts who she can talk to.
I learned there are some things you just do not joke about, because no matter how naive you are you can still mess somebody up.
I am not associated with these organizations in any way, but if you think you need help (you probably do). If these organizations do not support your area, please do a quick search online or reach out to anyone who might be able to help. You deserve to be treated better.
[National Domestic Violence Hotline (USA)](https://www.thehotline.org)
[The Hotline can be accessed via the nationwide number 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224 or (206) 518-9361 (Video Phone Only for Deaf Callers). The Hotline provides service referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico, Guam and the U.S. Virgin Islands.](https://www.acf.hhs.gov/fysb/programs/family-violence-prevention-services/programs/ndvh)
Please stay safe
TLDR: I tried joking with the clerk at the register, “you look bored, I’ll give someone to abuse for a minute.” I triggered her to have a panic attack. Nobody deserves to feel the way she did. I hope she finds help. I encourage anyone else to find help
Edit: never thought I would have to make these sentences in my life, but apparently I need to clarify.
Whoa, not sure how this got sexual in any way. I worked in retail for years and was trying to jokingly flip the script on how customers abuse employees. Was not implying anything related to BDSM. Seriously, I don’t know how I lead anyone there
AcrobaticSource3: Could you explain what you meant? Like were you trying to suggest some BDSM with her to make her sexually happy? Or did you mean that you would let her be empowered in the store by exercising her authority? Or is there another meaning of the word abuse? I genuinely am curious as to what your meaning is
Switchofftheoltop: Whoa, not sure how this got sexual in any way. I worked in retail for years and was trying to jokingly flip the script on how customers abuse employees. Was not implying anything related to BDSM.
hmbritt: I could see how someone would take that as a sexual comment. However, I didn't. When I read it I actually didn't think anything sexual about it.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1658203112 | 1658203503 | t3_w2j2x2 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Kind_And_Wholesome9: TIFU by developing a hyper-specific fetish
Has anyone watched the films Quarantine, starring Jennifer Carpenter? This movie came out in 2008, back when I was in grade 7, and I just happened to see the trailer for it on tv and I was immediately horny. Her character, Angela, is so hot in a skimpy tank top and you can often see her bra sticking out during the film. In particular, during the ending where she's scared to death about the fact that she's about to get ripped open by a zombie, you can clearly see her entire bra sticking out as she's laying on the floor crying. Her constant crying, whimpering, screaming and heavy breathing turn me on (as a BDSM lover this is my main fetish). Sometimes I fantasize about really dirty things like Scott (the male MC) licking her sweet & sour sweat off her bare shoulder blades, or just getting completely fed up with her crying and pinning her on the floor and choking the hell out of her while she's terrified and begging him to stop. or a zombie attacking her and ripping her sweaty tank top off so that she's wearing nothing but her bra and tight jeans as she's curled up and sobbing and whimpering because she's so scared for her life and she's trapped in a building full of mindless zombies. I've seen Jennifer Carpenter without a top on and shes fit and you can tell she works out, you'd be pretty thrilled to see her shirtless.
Tl;Dr I have this addictive overly-specific sadistic fetish nowadays because of a movie that I saw more than 10 years ago
MyaButtiches: I really hope there's someone one here who's like "yeah man, I totally got you" and proceeds to link a treasure trove of erotica that's exactly this fetish.
Kind_And_Wholesome9: Well I don't cuz it'll mean there are people out there just as fucked up as I am
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1658204694 | 1658241782 | t3_w2jl7l | t5_2to41 | 35,322 | Ajg2122: TIFU by missing obvious signs from a girl at a bar
TL;DR: grabbed a tit, missed a clear sign from a girl.
Obligatory this wasn’t today it was last night. I was at the bar with a bunch of my high school friends who live out of town. When we got to the bar, we met these three people in line who I immediately became friends with, 1 guy and two girls. One of the girls specifically I hit it off with super well.
When we finally got into the bar, I lost them because I went with my friends. Eventually they found me and she said to me, “OP I missed you”. Then we went to get a drink and I admittedly got pretty fucked up. I don’t go out a lot, so when I do I go for it. So im drinking and talking, with her and my friends. When I go back for the third(fourth???) time, she starts getting really feely with me. She was rubbing everyone except the nether regions. And im not talking a simple pat, she had her hands all up in my personal space (I didn’t mind she was extremely attractive). This went on for a solid few minutes until she asked me “hey OP grab my boob”. And I said, “right here in public?” To which she responded, “fuck yea”. So I did, a small grasp of said boob, and she responded “no OP, grab it like you mean it”. So I did. I grasped that shit. You know the episode of SpongeBob where squidward firmly grasps the pole? That was me. If I remember correctly she whispered in my ear that “she liked that”.
Anyways, this was a first for me. Super odd experience. I then say we planned on heading out soon, and she asked where we were going. I didn’t know, so I asked where she was going next. She responded “where ever you are” and grabbed my face. All I could muster up was “oh okay cool see ya”. And then I walked her out, she grabbed my hand and said she had a lot of fun with me, and there she went.
And thus, the virgin chronicles continue.
EDIT: People are asking me to text her and ask to take her out. The one problem is, she lives in Canada and I very much do not. Got the friends number though cause he was very chill and moving here soon, so there is hope indeed. Not much, but some
EDIT2: I’m glad you all are getting enjoyment out of my lack of awareness
postedUpOnTheBlock: Buddy was standing on the main runway at O’Hare international Airport and still couldn’t find any planes.
Aploki: A girl once told me “if you want to kiss a girl, you just have to ask her and she looked me straight in the eyes”. After so many years this is still one of the the most virgin experience ever”, because … I didn’t say anything
FlippyFlippenstein: I once was at a girls place, and she asked if we should go out and eat dinner with her friends or stay at home and have fun. I was a bit hungry, so I went for the dinner. A couple of days later I realized what she meant.
SoundDrill: You were hungry so...
PhoenixQueen_Azula: They say to rub one out before a date so you're thinking properly.
For the same reason, clearly you should eat before going to someone's place.
Guys have two heads and a stomach, and enough blood to run one at a time
IceKing_197: Ah yes the Joe Rogan doctrine. Jerk off, then think about it.
BMoneyCPA: I thought the Joe Rogan doctrine was to platform right wing crazies.
Permanent_Temp: Ahh, yes. Right wing crazies such as Bernie Sanders and the like.
BMoneyCPA: Tell me with a straight face that Joe Rogan equally promotes both right- and left-wing ideologies. It's not true.
Rogan is one of the earlier steps on to right wing conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones.
Rogan has been in the spotlight too long and is high on his own hype.
Permanent_Temp: Well, perhaps “equally” is a stretch, but he sure brings in a fairer array of varying viewpoints than any other single channel/platform/source
BMoneyCPA: He platforms dangerous people and gives them access to a far larger audience than they can get on their own.
It doesn't matter if he promotes the guy who thinks everyone should have access to healthcare if he also helps the guy who thinks all Democrats are literal demons who abort babies to eat them.
The danger of one far outweighs the good of the other.
Permanent_Temp: I would argue that the promotion of multiple sides/viewpoints is more beneficial than dangerous 99% of the time as it allows the audience to reach more informed and genuine conclusions (that can vary widely between individual members of said audience). Alternatively, by only promoting one side of a given topic, regardless of whether it’s *safe* or *dangerous*—as that’s generally subjective anyways, you just feed the uninformed or misinformed people a predetermined narrative.
BMoneyCPA: He could, if he chose, not platform people who spew lies.
Instead, he has them on and treats them as if what they say matters.
It's not that he's presenting two true sides of an issue, he platforms liars. So no, that's not good.
Permanent_Temp: “Spew lies” is a pretty extreme statement. In my humble opinion, especially regarding the episodes that were deemed highly controversial during the pandemic, any guest that deviated from the most mainstream and popular opinion was immediately thrown in the *spewing lies* box. Frankly, a good number of things stated by the people thrown into that box turned out to be more truthful than their mainstream counterparts. While there are certainly moments—or even entire guests—that rub me the wrong way, I really appreciate that Rogan entertains the variety of viewpoints that he does and I wouldn’t prefer that those I disagree with or find abrasive not be allowed the same platform as everybody else. At the end of the day, I think that hearing their different opinions gives me the opportunity to both further ground my own opinions, or change them in cases where I was ill-informed or had just never considered other perspectives.
| 15 | 2,354.8 | |
1658205380 | 1658207675 | t3_w2jsvc | t5_2to41 | -2 | DadNeedsHelpBadly: Tifu by being homeless, having covid, and getting 86d from my favorite coffee shop
A few days ago I had some chills and a hard time sleeping at night. In the morning I took an antigen test and it tested positive. A few hours later I took another antigen and a PCR. I’m still waiting for the PCR. Should be available tomorrow.
Anyway, I work and have had a place for most of the last two years but in the last few months I just didn’t have the income to afford a spot. I was actually only a paycheck away from being able to get a place in august and then….. Well, i got coronavirus. I cannot go to work with it, as we have to test negative. So now I’m out at least a week on my income and it takes two weeks to get paid anyway so, well, with the expenses of being homeless and having to eat out every day, it doesn’t look so good anymore. But enough of my sob story, here’s the fu:
As I was grabbing food next door to my favorite coffee shop I saw a good friend. He came to embrace me, but I told him to stay back cause I just tested positive. We exchanged a few greetings and he wished me well.
The next day, I went to the park to hang out, lay down and just rest. As soon as I needed to use the restroom, though, I realized how disgusting it was. There were people in here shitting on the seats and pissing on everything, stalls, walls, toilet seats and even the toilet paper… So I decided I would just set up at the coffee shop which was only a few miles down the road, wearing my mask and sitting at an outdoor table.
Well, apparently “in passing” my friend had told the owner that I have cv, so the owner proceeded to rage at me and tell me that I should be in quarantine right now. I don’t have anywhere to quarantine and he said that’s not his fucking problem (which is kind of societies view of the whole situation in a nutshell so I suppose I can’t blame the guy) So, now I’m 86d from my favorite coffee shop, still have coronavirus, still am homeless and still don’t have a reliable or clean place to take a shit.
TL;DR
Homeless, got coronavirus, nowhere to quarantine, needed a clean place to take a shit, got 86d from my favorite coffee shop.
RudeSprinkles1240: Obvious bot is Obvious.
DadNeedsHelpBadly: I will trick you humans some day!
| 3 | -0.666667 | |
1658207546 | 1658230219 | t3_w2kg8a | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu in an interview
[deleted]
ItsJustMeBeinCurious: I’ve seen this gif used in about 10 TIFU interview posts…
zeroxking11: same
| 3 | 1 | |
1658209574 | 1658212502 | t3_w2l0ve | t5_2to41 | 5 | throwwwaaeway311: TIFU by causing an embarrassing scene at a friends party
Let me just begin by saying that I'm a 16f and this happened yesterday. I was at my friends house for her party. There was probably 40 or so people there. I had no idea that a girl was there that I don't get along with.
A couple hours into the party I run into this girl and as I'm talking with some people she decides to bring up some issues that happened a few years ago. It was pretty damn annoying and I asked her to please stop, but she of course kept going.
I could tell that people were paying attention to us and they were wondering about what was going on. She wouldn't stop coming at me so I said about leaving the party with her to see what her problem was with me. Then she punched me and I fell into the table with drinks on it causing a big mess and we got kicked out of the party by my friends parents. People started yelling, it was very embarrassing. My shirt was drenched and I was very sticky. Definitely a poor ending to a good party.
TL;DR: TIFU by running into a girl at my friends party that I have issues with. She came at me, wouldn't stop. Punched me, I fell into a table of drinks and caused a mess.
KhaithangH: Never keep someone's punch with you, repay it back ... with full interest.
throwwwaaeway311: I would've if she would have left the party with me
wrcker: But you just said you both got kicked out...
throwwwaaeway311: I meant before that happened. I wanted her to leave with me to fight me before she punched me in the party
KhaithangH: The debts carries forward. Another day , another opportunity
throwwwaaeway311: Yeah you're right about that. I should punch her in the mouth when I see her again
| 7 | 0.714286 | |
1658202440 | 1658238676 | t3_w2iv64 | t5_2to41 | 3 | IslePriestess: TIFU By Fixing My Phone Screen
A few weeks ago, I (26F) dropped my iPhone X and cracked the screen. It was a few years old but it still ran well and I was happy with it.
Unbeknownst to me, my AppleCare lapsed and it would’ve cost about $200 to replace the screen. So I said “F this. I’ll fix it myself”. I got a repair kit off of Amazon and promptly procrastinated on it.
Today was good. Good cup of coffee, I moved boxes to the storage, sorted my clothes and put them away, and decided to lay down on the couch because my scoliosis-riddled back was hurting. Then I thought that I might as well fix my phone screen while I’m still motivated. I was able to pry it off and unplug one of the cords. But when I went to the other…
*Snap*
I looked in horror at the one cord for the camera was now dangling useless. “Dammit. Now I need to go to the Apple store.” So I hauled my butt over there and was seen almost immediately.
Unfortunately, because my phone was an older model, they couldn’t replace it even if they wanted to. It wasn’t their fault the phone was broken, and they don’t sell parts. So my only option was to buy a new phone.
Pissed at myself for getting into this situation, I put in the order for an iPhone 13 and got it within the hour, bidding my old phone a fond farewell.
To top it all off, the new case is bought just came and I need to send it back and get a new one.
I’m typing this on my new phone, but I can’t even be happy about it because it came at my old phone being destroyed by my own hands.
Should’ve just paid the $200.
TL;DR: Made an expensive mistake and can’t even be happy with my new phone.
throwawaysbacct1: My new screen on an iPhone 12 Pro was 40$ with AppleCare coverage … 200??
IslePriestess: The iPhone X was discontinued and I didn’t have AppleCare anymore. Yes, it would’ve been around that much to fix it.
throwawaysbacct1: Hmm interesting , didn’t know the discontinue but wtf why stop making the screens?!? I had an x prior to this phone and I brought it for a screen repair then it stopped working shortly after 🙃
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1658217641 | 1658260429 | t3_w2n5n1 | t5_2to41 | 9 | statfan220: TIFU by seriously overdosing on Caffeine
This all started early this morning (read: midnight/waking hours) when I wanted to keep myself awake at night, to study. I felt that regular coffee was way too weak, so I got a cup half full with warm-ish water and dumped 2 tablespoons of instant coffee (In my country instant coffee has levels of strength 1-5, 1 being a small boost and 5 the strongest.) in it. After mixing it up and adding copious amounts of sugar to disguise the horrible bitter taste, I down it.
This was a bad mistake.
For the first 30 minutes, I felt nothing, I assumed this was how long the body needed to metabolize it or such, but then came the restlessness. It was a hot day and the amount of caffeine I ingested gave me so much energy I had to became jittery and started to exercise just to try and slow myself down, which sucks if you want to work. For about 1hr 30 I basically had infinite energy, by borrowing it from my future self. After the restlessness period, then came the sweats.
I began to sweat severely. This was probably my brain's poison centre going to work, trying to take out the excess caffeine. At this point my heart rate went haywire, switching between high and low BPM without input. 1 hour after the sweats began, they eventually slowed and stopped to make way for the next terrible phase of this ordeal. This was essentially set off by me deciding to chug about 3L of water in 60 minutes.
This was a worse mistake.
Now not only were my heart and adrenal glands suffering, but my kidneys (have to keep working hard to maintain water levels) and eventually brain too (more on this later). As I was now drinking way too much water, it began to dilute the number of minerals in my blood. At this stage, I had intermittent AFIB, High blood pressure, muscle cramps and anxiety was getting to me, and it would get worse.
Water intoxication: after drinking large amounts of water, my brain was getting swollen, as it essentially became "waterlogged" i.e had too much water inside my skull. This was not a fatal amount of swelling, but it was quite bad news. Basically, my body had too much water and not enough salt to regulate it, my cells were taking in too much water and began to swell. At this point, I fell asleep after taking some salt and sodium bicarbonate and potassium. When I woke up my chest hurt a bit and I was dehydrated, I could still feel skull pressure. Never using any sort of stimulant again in my life, or in that case depressants.
TLDR: idiot drinks way too much caffeine, heart goes nuts, drinks way too much water
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: Yes, daft thing to do, I'm glad you're ok.
But I can't help but be reminded of the *Saved By The Bell* episode where Jessie gets addicted to caffeine pills but we all know it was really cocaine.
I'm not saying that's you, but it really strikes a chord.
statfan220: This has taught me:
* don't f\*\*k with drugs even caffeine will mess you up
* its not worth it (the cost to benefit ratio is like 10:1)
I am just glad that my organs aren't seriously damaged, maybe a few weeks of rest would do me good.
Xyeetmeister420X: Dude that restless and tired jitteryness is fairly normal in my stupid GCSE days I made a coffee pot which was 1liter of water 10tablespoons of regular coffee and 8 of instant coffee mixed with a good bit of sugar and tumeric and would drink that all in say an hour.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1658219572 | 1658277756 | t3_w2nn59 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Razkaroth: TIFU by forgetting my Sony headphones (wh-1000xm4) outside... while it rained...
Currently I have Covid and I've been feeling a light headed. This week has been full of mistakes that normally I wouldn't make. This is the latest one.
Today I went to the terrace and my headphone's battery died, so I put them on a little bar on the corner. And I totally forgot about them.
Later today it rained and I remembered my headphones 3 hours after it began raining.
Fortunately the battery was almost totally drained and they were turned off.
I've opened the headphones and put them on a dehydrator (at a safe temperature).
All that remains is to wait and see. They are fairly expensive, so a repair is more likely than a replacement. However It would have to wait a couple months as my budget is already assigned to other things.
It sucks...
TL;DR
I forgot expensive headphones on the rain. And if broken, I'll have to wait a couple months to repair them.
pontiacish: They'll probably be fine after you let them dry out. It might be a good idea to contact Sony and ask if they are any special instructions on how to remedy this situation.
https://helpguide.sony.net/mdr/wf1000xm4/v1/en/contents/TP1000240497.html
I did find some information here.
Razkaroth: They weren't fine, sadly... Either the battery or the pcb that's on that side is fried.
My money is on the pcb as the battery seems to be fine. The repair could be anywhere from $30 to $100 bucks, but probably no more than that.
I'll get them to the certified repair center this week to see how much it will cost.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1658220612 | 1658222647 | t3_w2nw50 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by ordering sex toys
[deleted]
PlsRfNZ: Are they going to open the box with the toys in it? If it only has your name on it, it is just a box with your name on it.
If you bought from any half decent retailer there should be absolutely no advertising on the box. Discretion gets repeat business while "MASSIVE DILDOS AND BLOWUP DOLLS" written on a package handled by lots of people and then handed to you doesn't really.
If they do open your mail you may be able to get police involved as I believe that is a pretty harsh crime in some instances.
Can say that your friend entered you in a contest or someshit and she only had their address saved. Get a genuine good friend to go round and pick it up with that story.
Can say that you wanted to find someone to do the fun stuff with, but then you thought of your ex and his friends and realized that it is better without the possibility of ending up with someone that could be like them...
Time_Implement_1245: I think they would open up any package. The site did say discreet packaging. I'm trying to organise damage control amongst my friends, But it's 10am on a tuesday they don't think it's too urgent ( which it isn't, but it's just stressing me out)
PlsRfNZ: > The federal statute 18 USC Section 1702 states that it is illegal for individuals to open correspondence that is addressed to other individuals.
Up to 3 years in prison or large fines. I can't find a max fine.
Easy way to wipe a smirk or two off their faces.
Time_Implement_1245: I don't think US law can help here.
PlsRfNZ: Apologies for assuming, it is illegal in my country too so I assume it is illegal wherever you are.
| 6 | 1 | |
1658222338 | 1658222890 | t3_w2oc59 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Riche1234: Tifu by sending my work password in a teams chat with 700 people
This happened about an hour ago. I logged on this morning and opened up Teams because I saw unread messages. One of them was in a big Teams meeting with 700 people announcing the agenda for a session later today. I was also prompted to enter my password into a dialogue box to logon to my email. I typed my password and pressed enter, not realising the cursor was still in the Teams chat and I inadvertently sent my password to this huge group. I deleted the message immediately, I would say within 5 seconds, and have since changed my password. I’m fairly new to the company so not many people will know who I am, but I’m seriously hoping no one I work with has seen it or saw it pop up as a notification.
TL;DR I accidentally sent my password in a teams chat with 700 people at my company.
Edited for spelling
2Someone-else: Make sure you change it for any accounts that share the same password as well
Riche1234: Already done, I updated for my work account and VPN. Everything else will be updated automatically
| 3 | 5 | |
1658223531 | 1658257674 | t3_w2omyr | t5_2to41 | 23 | AmIGonnaBeHated: TIFU by not cleaning my belly button.
Its more of a "over the past few months I fucked up". I had stomach surgery a while back and I had closed wounds on my stomach. I've been scared to really touch that part of my body ever after it has healed. Today I'm in the bathroom, taking a wazz, and I think "Man i haven't really cleaned my belly button in a lonnng time". Im on the bigger size so my belly button isn't huge but it's definitely like high medium. So I get a qtip and start smudging around and stuff with soap. I look down and see some dog hair in there. For context, I've got a small white dog that is around me 24/7. I pull the dog hair out and it's a small clump of like 3 or 4 hairs. Ok gross but whatever. I look to make sure I got it all and I didn't. I grab another clump. Its a little bigger like 5 or 6 hairs. Then another. And another. There's just more and more. I didn't even known my belly button went that deep. At this point I have no regard for my scars as I am digging into my stomach to get these clumps. I had so much fucking dog hair in my belly button. I almost puked while I was getting it out. Honestly I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it.
TLDR: Didn't wash my belly button after surgery. Had lots of dog hair crammed in there.
Fit_Ad_7681: Boy am I glad I don't have this problem. It pays off not having a belly button.
Human-Shower3419: Oh no! The clones learned to use reddit!
Fit_Ad_7681: Lol
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1658229515 | 1658230233 | t3_w2q9b1 | t5_2to41 | 19 | mokuna6: TIFU by parking in a handicap parking spot.
Made the mistake of parking in the handicap zones since I was in a rush for work.
Shouldn’t have rushed for work, but I came back to my car with a parking violation ticket saying that my car was permanently recorded and subject to tow.
Thankfully I got out in time before the tow truck came but noticed there wasn’t a fine.
Wondering if they will run my license plate and send a fine in the mail.
The worst part is I got to work at a reasonable enough time and I still got scolded.
Spent the day sulking and being pissed off at everything.
Even got punk tested by a random dude at the grocery store and I didn’t do anything wrong.
This week is the worst man.
I’m doing my best to keep a positive spin on things but this week was a shitstorm of bad events… and it’s not even 2 days into the week!!
Hope it gets better. Hope everyone is having a better week start than I am.
TL;DR parked in a handicap parking spot. Don’t know if I’ll be fined. Fuck my life.
1Sluggo: You should get fined; we need those spots regardless if you’re running late for work.
Splyce123: This. Always this^^
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1658235048 | 1658241426 | t3_w2rz9r | t5_2to41 | 22 | Rad_Ben_Danklin: TIFU for not going to the dentist for the last 7-8 years.
Now this wasn’t intentional. I’m 25 and since getting my wisdom teeth pulled 7-8 years ago I lost my insurance through my parents and my current employer (regardless of me working in healthcare) had shitty healthcare. I basically couldn’t afford going to the dentist. Or a doctor. Or anything for that matter. I tried to eat very healthy and still do. Brush twice a day, floss and use mouthwash. Well that still wasn’t enough.
Apparently routine dentist appointments are the power washing vs the garden hose that is your toothbrush. I have 5 cavities and from grinding and clenching my teeth I need a root canal and a crown.
Thankfully I have insurance now through my new employer, it just sucks to have waited all this time because dentistry is a luxury in America and most insurances don’t cover a lot of it.
I’d also like to note that I had no pain in the last 7-8 years. I noticed a cavity on the front of my back right tooth which is what reminded me that I can now go to the dentist again. But no pain, no issue with eating, cold or hot foods. The grinding I’ve always done when I was little and then I stopped but must have started again at some point.
Lesson of the story, just cause you’re teeth feel fine doesn’t mean they are. DO YOUR ROUTINE CHECKUPS lol
TL;DR didn’t go to the dentist for 7-8 years because no insurance and no pain. Got insurance and saw a cavity, went for a cleaning and need 5 fillings a root canal and a crown.
Randomees: Always go for teeth scaling once every 6 months. You'd be surprised at how much plaque deposits could buildup once time flies.
Rad_Ben_Danklin: Yeah they were scraping at my teeth for a while. I absolutely hate the feeling of it but yeah no matter how good you brush, when it builds up and the only tool is a metal scraper… you know there’s not much you can do at home besides get a full thorough cleaning.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1658235669 | 1658292445 | t3_w2s740 | t5_2to41 | 788 | Livid_Net_8184: TIFU By having a breakdown at work
So I (20 f) was in a car accident 2 days ago. I won’t go into detail of how it happened but my driver side door and the door behind the driver seat are caved in, to the point where they won’t open. Air bags were deployed and the car won’t turn on. Basically my car is totaled. This is the first accident I’ve ever had where I was in the driver seat.
Because of this I’ve been constantly, involuntary, replaying the incident in my head. (What if I had done different, what if my friends were hurt, why didn’t she try to slow down). It’s been on repeat in my head since the impact.
Well, I took Monday off to make sure I answered calls from insurance companies, law agencies, etc, and thought I was well enough to return to work today. Boy, was I wrong.
I forgot how agitated my job makes me. Along we how rude one of my coworkers spoke. Today, that one coworker spoke to me in the rudest tone she ever has so, my brain decided “oh you’re already upset, we’ll here’s the accident of repeat.” I head to the restroom to cry my eyes out. At this point I’ve been sobbing for a good 10 minutes before I’m told to hurry up by the “janitor.” So I try my best to pull myself together and head out.
However, I’m still breathing heavily as if I’m out of breath and shaking. A trainer sees me and taking me to what we call the training room, to discuss what happened with a supposed HR member.
About 20-45 minutes go by. I’ve managed to get my breath steady but I’m still crying, flinching from the imagery of being hit, and trying to honk a horn that’s not there. In the mist of this, the HR member comes to me.
HR: “You’re OP right?”
Me: *nods*
HR: “And you took a drug test about a week ago right?”
Me: “Huh?” (I’m confused because I took this drug test almost a month ago)
Another member who was in the office says the date and I confirm it.
HR: “Well that drug test came back positive for marijuana so, unfortunately, we’re gonna have to let you go.”
I sign a paper that explains that I’ve been terminated, hand in my badge, collect my things, and now I’m at home typing this. I’ve had a stern talk with my dad about how I’m tired of life and just want to end it all again but, he’s never been one to offer support in the way I need it at that moment.
I’ll be looking into therapy, which I also told the trainer that I needed. Just to help me try to get my emotions under control and for the PTSD of the crash since, I tense up at the thought of driving or even being in a car. I’ll also be looking for remote from home jobs as I will be without a car or income for the next 2 weeks to however long.
TL:DR : Car crash leaves me with PTSD so, job uses a month of drug test to fire me after a breakdown.
Edit: Thank you all for the love and support, I know it’s only been about a day but, a lot of your comments are helping me that I’m not alone and I’ll be alright.
Some said the company may have already be looking for a reason to fire. And after thinking for a bit, you may be right. This isn’t my first breakdown at work, it’s actually my second.
Around April I found out that 2 of my great-uncles died a week apart, and I was told by a cousin while I was in the middle of a shift. You may be thinking “oh well they were already old so they’re time was coming” but, that doesn’t change the fact that they died. I even lost my stepmom in November 2021 and my favorite grandpa in December 2021. So I was already having a hard time.
I’ve always cared, loved, and been very close to my family since I was young. We’re always there when we need it. Every family gathering, every birthday, every holiday, all of my family (for the most part) we’re always in attendance.
For that I only missed 2 days of work and after a lot of talking with family and reassurance, I was back as if it never happened.
Now, when it comes to the drug test, no you aren’t missing anything. Yes, I smoke at times. Mainly if I’m still up after 11-12 and I have something important to do in a few hours. Sometimes when I just want to mellow out. But it’s not like I’m smoking everyday. And yes I get it, no matter what I smoked for, I did it, and I just so happened to get hurt at work the next day. So I had to be drug tested. But that doesn’t change the fact that they may have had the results back for a while.
There were already rumors of the company holding drug tests, until an incident occurred where they wanted to fire you. A few employees from my department were sent in for drug test (who were known for partaking in and selling the devil’s lettuce), and were fired less than a week after their drug test. And there are others throughout the company who have had drug tests (again who are known for partaking in and selling it) who were fired months after their original drug test.
But I’m not blaming the company at all, if it came back positive then yea I should’ve been fired. I just feel it’s kinda shitty that they waited till I was already down.
As some of you said, insurance will deal with car and I will be fine. I’m glad that seeking help is something we can agree on because this isn’t the first time I suffer with the constant physical sensation of a traumatic event. But it’s the first time in over a decade. Again, thank you all for the love and support, I’m glad I’m not alone.
Agile_Discipline_958: How long were you at that job? Are you eligible for severence? There's a ton of remote jobs, most that are customer service and with customer service comes a lot of angry, mean callers. It sounds like mentally, you may not be ready for that. Is there any way to get a little loan, even from family to cover you for at least a month? Because it sounds to me like you need serious therapy and healing. Jumping into another job right away may not be the best idea, unless you absolutely have to. If you can't do therapy, reading helps too. I've been through a lot, I know exactly what you're feeling, so if you need to talk. Please message me! Best of luck to you. Just remember things may be bad right now, but they always get better!
Livid_Net_8184: I’ve been there for a little over a year. My supervisor and a few others tried to put in words for me to move up as a trainer or get a better position for me.
Agile_Discipline_958: I would contact them to see if they were comfortable giving you a written letter of recommendation because that will make it easier when applying to a job. If when you apply and you can attach your resume, a good cover letter and letter of recommendation along with it, your chances of at least getting an interview will be much higher.
Livid_Net_8184: Thank you, I’ll be sure to email them
AnalogToTheFuture: Honestly, it sounds like you may have gotten a Traumatic Brain Injury from the crash. Your entire story and breakdown and depression/anxiety are all consistent with it. It's easy to have it missed by doctors unless you use specific words during an exam (they're usually looking for symptoms of internal bleeding or broken bones).
Did you lose consciousness or black out or "see stars" at impact? If so, please mention this specifically to your doctor so they can look into it. It's an "altered state of consciousness" is usually indicative of trauma to the brain.
| 6 | 131.333333 | |
1658237992 | 1658336038 | t3_w2t0n4 | t5_2to41 | 44,413 | RobbieNorfolk: TIFU by letting a delirious woman into my house thinking she had heat stroke. She was a mental patient from the hospital who proceeded to sit on my sofa and masturbate
This happened yesterday in the UK while we are going through the hottest heatwave on record. It's 4PM and I'm minding my own business in my back garden tidying my shed when i hear somebody trying to get into my back gate. I peek through the gap to see an elderly woman looking very hot and distressed, she notices me and starts shouting please help me, please help me. I can't open the gate, so I tell her to go to the front door. I ran through the house and told her to come in and take a seat while I get her a glass of water. She's mumbling gibberish and rocking back and forth. Tells me she is lost. I suspected she had heat stroke and was suffering from delirium and exhaustion. Poor woman, thank god I saved her.
I pop upstairs to get a damp towel and the fan. When I return I find the woman sitting on my sofa, smoking a cigarette, masturbating. Great.
"You can't do that" I yell in bemusement but she carries on, telling me how nice it feels. "Can you lick my clitoris?" she asks, to which I said no way and she needs to leave. "Do you have a dog?" I see my chance to get her out of the house. "Yes I have a dog, come with me" and I managed to get her up and out into the garden.
She collapses onto the floor. Making gagging noises, telling me she's going to die, still with her hand between her legs. It is 40 degrees and I myself am struggling to be fair, so I know she will be in trouble if I don't get her out of the heat.
I call 999, they take 5 minutes to answer, and eventually they tell me there are no ambulances. "Is she breathing... is she conscious... OK then, if she passes out, put her in the discovery position and fan her, then call us back and we will try to hurry up."
She keeps asking for the dog and that she wants us both to make love to her. When I try to move her into the house she keeps grabbing me and trying to kiss me. What the hell am I going to do?
The hospital is a 5 minute walk, so I make the decision to get her there by carrying her or she is going to die from heat stroke. So I tell her I know a really nice dog across the road and I'm going to take her to it. Her eyes light up and she heads with me out of the garden.
I get her to put her leggings on and begin to walk to the hospital while being sexually assaulted the whole way. 999 rings me back and I tell them the plan. The closest door is the ear and throat department or something like that, so I carry her in there where there is air conditioning and sit her down. I shout for help and a nurse appears, she fetches some water and I leave her in their capable hands. They all seemed to know who she was and apparently she had been on the mental ward. As I walk out she yells "Where is this dog to lick my clitoris??" The nurses look puzzled, I shrug my shoulders and walk out.
I return home, lock all the doors and gates, and have a shower to wash the woman's sweat and fanny juice off me. I've not seen her today, hope she is feeling better.
If the mods so wish I can verify the story with video evidence as my house has Nest cameras, but I won't post these publicly for obvious reasons.
TLDR: I let a delirious woman into my house thinking she had heat stroke. She turned out to be a mental patient from the hospital who proceeded to masturbate on my sofa and sexually assault me
Edit 1: Gonna leave in the typo of recovery/discovery, I believe they call that a Freudian slip
Edit 2: Getting lots of requests, so here is a photo from my back garden cctv: [https://imgur.com/a/GtZG37Q](https://imgur.com/a/GtZG37Q) The inside video with sound is much better but will remain unshared, sorry.
Agitated_Year8521: "OK then, if she passes out, put her in the discovery position..."
Lol
hazpat: It's some slang picked up from bloodhound gang.
15liam20: We ain't nuthin' but mammals
RymNumeroUno: Well, some of us, cannibals
jillyyk: who cut other people open like cantaloupes
ornryactor: But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
ForQ2: Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope.
Varcis: But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
ashesehsa: Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes
AllecioWingTSS: Cus I’m slim shady
dooyooeven: *SIM Shady
FTFY
AllecioWingTSS: I’m probably not getting the joke. Please explain
dooyooeven: Because people kept saying this looked like a SIMs game.
| 14 | 3,172.357143 | |
1658239184 | 1658244280 | t3_w2tg70 | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my company £100k and am now suspended form work UPDATE
[deleted]
blackwidowink: Hey OP, I’m glad everything worked out for you, but maybe consider leaving racist terms like “Chinese whispers” out of your story. Take care.
JustSomeUsername99: Yeah, I noticed that too. What does that even mean? Never heard it before...
JustSomeUsername99: Lol. Just looked it up, it's just another name for the game telephone we used to play as kids. No idea why it would have a racist connotation like that.
| 4 | 12 | |
1658239638 | 1658277363 | t3_w2tmlv | t5_2to41 | 741 | uhhh206: TIFU cleaning my toilet and temporarily losing use of my hand
tl;dr at the bottom
I like to keep my house clean during the week, and every Sunday I do more comprehensive cleaning doing things like dusting, cleaning out the fridge, and cleaning toilets.
The toilet cleaner bleach that I keep in the master bathroom was refusing to open, so I decided to grab the one from the guest bathroom. As I was finishing squirting the cleaning gel around the inside rim of the toilet, the screw-top lid fell off and into the toilet. For a split second I considered whether I had anything I could grab it with, but as it slid toward the very bottom, I realized I didn't have time to find out.
I reached into the toilet and fished out the lid, and immediately washed my hands over and over. It was too late. What I thought was just concentrated bleach is -- and this should have been obvious to me, but when do you really think about the ingredients in cleaning supplies? -- extremely caustic. The skin on my hand began to wrinkle and turn pale. I couldn't move my fingers. It was agony.
Nothing I tried helped with the pain, so I just coated the skin in fresh aloe and avoided touching anything. My hand was throbbing with pain but also numb in a way. Akin to an excruciating version of when your foot falls asleep. In the end, all I could do was get drunk and go to sleep with my hand hanging off the bed -- after I scrubbed the toilet with my left hand, of course. Didn't want it to all be for nothing.
It hurts less today and the skin shows improvement, but I still struggle to use my hand. It would have been worth it to just call a plumber.
tl;dr I cleaned my toilet, reached into the caustic gel, and gave myself a chemical burn
Edit: went to the doctor yesterday, who politely agreed that it was a dumbass thing to do but said my hand is gonna be fine. It feels almost normal today.
Splyce123: Go see a doctor.
uhhh206: I actually have an appointment tomorrow for something unrelated, so I'm going to bring it up then.
suzy7517: Call your hospital's Emergency room, ask to speak to a nurse. They may have some remedies for you.
SoftwareEngineerBB: In the United States health care is too expensive for this, even in emergencies
suzy7517: I'm in the USA, they will answer questions on the phone.
rinkimiko: I always get "walk in or schedule an appointment"
suzy7517: That is frustrating.
rinkimiko: It is. Early 2020 my insurance provider allowed free teledoc/virtual appointments through their system.... But the doctors would keep us waiting and often would join and leave saying they completed the appointment. Taking advantage of easy money it would take hours of waiting and rescheduling just to get 10 minutes of a doctor's time. "I have shingles, I feel a flare up starting and I need a refill of my medication" the doctor legit rolled their eyes, said "you're only 26, I will prescribe you medication for herpes"
Health insurance is such a scam here in the U.S.A.
I am now 29 and have had reoccurring shingles since 24 that hurts more and last longer every flare up. Because I am not 50, my insurance won't cover me getting a vaccine that could not only reduce how often I get flare ups but also reduce the pain and severity.
suzy7517: I'm sorry you're going through that. Hopefully they change their minds.
rinkimiko: Thank you. I am in high hopes as I am currently in the process of switching my PCP to one I feel will advocate for me more than my last one (mind you he once told me to mind my weight for my husband)
| 11 | 67.363636 | |
1658187048 | 1664321256 | t3_w2dkxo | t5_2to41 | 181 | Confused_Alpaca937: TIFU By accidentally making a co worker think I’m homophobic
So once again my stupid ass done fucked up at work. So I live on site at my job, we have a few international staff from US and Canada, and it’s safe to say we had a slight cultural break down.
So I smoke (I know it’s bad dw peeps) and I knew one of the US guys does as well so as I’m walking through the staff room I shout “hey mate fancy a fag?” And his face drops… he says nothing gets up and walks off and I think nothing of it, maybe he’s quitting.
Later on another girl (V) with US pull me aside and start on about how I made a homophobic remark and all that. Safe to say I’m baffled, V keeps asking what I said but US is refusing to repeat it.
When he finally goes “YOU CALLED ME A F*G” now it clicks…. I start pissing myself laughing US is getting more and more angry telling me it’s not funny.
Me: “Mate no, I didn’t call you one I asked if you wanted one, like a cigarette, fag means cigarette here”
US: Don’t try and backtrack why would it mean that
V: ermm so yeah I don’t think she was calling you anything that does mean cigarette here, she was literally asking if you wanted a cigarette.
US: wait… you’re being serious? British people are weird, but FYI if you said that in the US you probably be punched in the face.
We all had a good laugh and then he did indeed come to a fag, but hey at least HR didn’t get involved. So happy endings all round
TL;DR I asked a coworker to come for a cigarette and turns out they thought I was calling them a slur
NvEnd: Your stories are fun to read lol, hope life keeps it interesting for you in a good way as well.
AspectRatio149: Happy to see I'm not the only one going on a u/Confused_Alpaca937 bender
Confused_Alpaca937: I feel like I should start a podcast called "how I embarrassed myself this week"
Clerk_Party: You are the most interesting redditor I've ran across, great story teller and damn your life sounds adventurous. Normally I don't get drawn into people's profiles but I had to read more of your posts after the narrating the toy bag post. Have a good life and a great future.
| 5 | 36.2 | |
1658241584 | 1658242834 | t3_w2ucpo | t5_2to41 | 3 | vantae-bts: TIFU..by asking if a coworker spoke Spanish
Okay I know the title seems very bad but bear with me here.
So I have this coworker who I'll call H. H has a very Spanish sounding name. We were doing some work together when a new coworker came over to help us. I'll call him J. J is Hispanic. I had a huge brain farm and asked H in front of him if she spoke Spanish. Obviously you can gather he thought it was a comment about him in a not very good way. So I had to rush to explain I am not racist the question just came out of my mouth at a stupid time. For further context, I am black. H is white and no she does not speak Spanish it was a name passed down to her.
Luckily he understood and seems to have moved on but of all the times to not hold back my stupid questions. We both had a good laugh after everything but the sheer panic amd fear I felt at that moment. I only hope he sincerely understood that I wasn't being racist.
In case this comes up, I asked H about her name because we were discussing our backgrounds when he happened to come over. But of course, he wasn't there before my big eff up.
TL:DR- Asked a coworker if they spike Spanish in front of another coworker who could clearly take it in a racist manner.
GroochCheesily: Please tell me H and J are called Hosé and José
vantae-bts: Haha no but that would've made this so much better!
| 3 | 1 | |
1658242489 | 1658302157 | t3_w2uox0 | t5_2to41 | 4,179 | [deleted]: TIFU; Drove a bit distracted. Something horrible happened. Now I have PTSD.
[deleted]
cakeweefs: First of all, I'm glad that it wasn't worse.
Second of all, I urge you to get to a therapist and a psychiatrist if you're serious about laughing children or round objects triggering anxiety or panic attacks.
The therapist is going to help you long term. The psychiatrist is going to be able to prescribe you something so that you're able to function close to normally in the meantime. The sooner you can get to these professionals, the better off you will be.
Best of luck, OP.
Smirkydarkdude: I know that's the way for some people but I'm not the kind of guy who goes to therapists. Even if it does work, it's just not for me. That said, if they did microdosing... and guided LSD trauma therapy... naaa. Still not for me. But thanks for the kind words and a well meaning suggestion.
J723: You are exactly the kind of guy who should be going to a therapist.
Agnosticwon: The kind of guy who does writing prompts on TIFU?
causal_friday: This is a writing prompt? I thought it was an ad for the all new 2023 Hyundai Santa Fe with automatic braking assist, a polished leather interior, and built-in Spotify music streaming.
Agnosticwon: Sounds like a good writing prompt
causal_friday: That's definitely fair. He's right about time going slower though. Crashed my bike once and "8K demo reel in best buy" is exactly how I remember it.
Aramor42: Definitely true. I remember once when I was riding my bike, I had my elbows on the handles and my arms crossed, kind of like a casual leaning position. Then I hit a bump in the road and I felt that my arms were no longer touching the bike. It felt like time went in slo-mo and I remember thinking "Oh, this is gonna suck real hard". Then it all sped up again and next thing I know, I'm intertwined in my bike, road rash on my knees and hands.
| 9 | 464.333333 | |
1658242620 | 1658341197 | t3_w2uqqo | t5_2to41 | 10,862 | throwawayayayay32: TIFU at work after having anal sex
[removed]
AStirlingMacDonald: When I was in school there was an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous girl in the class. Everyone was super intimidated by her. On the day of our final exam, they separated the desks far from each other to avoid any chance of cheating. We were halfway through when the loudest fart I’ve heard (still to this day more than two decades later) rang out like a gunshot through the classroom. Every head whipped in the direction the sound had come from. It was obvious who’d done it because the desks were so far away from each other. Everyone gave each other shocked looks for a minute, because we were young kids and couldn’t comprehend that someone so beauty would be subject to an ordinary biological function like farting. We turned back to our exams. A few seconds later, the smell arrived. It was like an butcher’s old walk-in refrigerator had died and they finally decided to open it up a month later. Absolutely astonishing.
To the girl’s credit, she started laughing and shrugged it off, after turning a little red in the face.
lecherro: What else can you do????
Boring-Working-5509: Jump out the window would be my go to, personally.
alt273195: Self-defenestration!
Coral2Reef: Autodefenestration
SSTrihan: What amazes me most about defenestration is that it ostensibly happens so often they needed a specific word to describe it.
Pro_Scrub: And that the LD50 is five storeys.
Tastewell: Seriously? How did they do the research on this? Specifically, how did they compile a dataset? I have so many questions.
(BTW; I audibly chuckled at "LD50". "Administered a dose of defenestration" sounds like such a detective-noir phrasing.)
Pro_Scrub: Haha, I don't know exactly how real that part is, but the line comes from a wild noir/comedy novel called "Beat the Reaper" by Josh Bazell, who is a physician.
Excerpt here:
https://books.google.ca/books?id=NrSanW6Am2UC&pg=PT103&lpg=PT103&dq=ld50+defenestration&source=bl&ots=BfdZdnmSyO&sig=ACfU3U1ydbqcSEyAR54sG9XF8bW6o6zIyQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjH8-fp64f5AhUyIDQIHQbzAlcQ6AF6BAgDEAI#v=onepage&q=ld50%20defenestration&f=false
Tastewell: It won't show me the excerpt, but the title makes me think of [Firesign Theater](https://youtu.be/D3zZ_ih0Jpc).
Pro_Scrub: Lol that was a trip.
Dang, let's try again: [This page and the next](https://books.google.ca/books?id=NrSanW6Am2UC&lpg=PT103&pg=PT103#v=onepage&q&f=false)
Tastewell: OK, that looks good. I may check it out. I like noir/comedy. Ever read any Donald E Westlake or Matt Ruff?
Pro_Scrub: I have not, maybe I should. Thanks
| 14 | 775.857143 | |
1658245098 | 1658245627 | t3_w2vp65 | t5_2to41 | 16 | yoboyykk64: TIFU trolling scammers
This happened about half an hour ago, I was bored and decided to go mess with scammers on omegle. Since I was unbearably bored and had a few ideas. So I decided to use pictures of my face which was pretty dumb. And one just kept asking for a dick pic. I was getting annoyed and sent them the shittiest dick pic ever. Not even hard, nor a flattering angle. Keep in mind I definitely knew that this person was not a women but a foreign language speaking scammer. After doing so, since I got the insta account from the omegle bot. Forgot to put my Instagram on private and they got my "contacts." I believe they didn't have anything because the pictures were ultra blurry so didn't bother worrying. After doing so and getting threatened for 300gbp I laughed off the poorly photo shopped blackmail and told my friend. Now that I think of it, it was pretty fucked up using pictures of myself. But these things happen all the time and I didn't do anything very incriminating. And after telling my friend, I decided to tell my gf. She got really mad which is understandable and I could have used pictures from someone else. I really hope I didn't fuck us up because I truly love her. I don't know what to do.
TLDR I may have ruined my relationship with my gf by sending a shitty dick pic to a obvious scammer.
Edit: every single accusation of sexting some random mf is understandable, and I can't convince some of you otherwise. But believe what you want to believe and I won't have a problem with it.
Splyce123: This sounds like a quick cover story to explain to your GF why you've been sending dick pics to a random Omegle account.
You don't sound like the sharpest tool in the toolbox. Maybe leave this stuff to someone else.
yoboyykk64: Agreed
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1658246045 | 1658248205 | t3_w2w29h | t5_2to41 | 31 | _TheKing144_yt_: TIFU masturbating with my door open
Soo this technically happened today, as it was past midnight.
I am (M17) hadn't jerked off in 2 weeks as my cousin was at our house. Didn't wanna risk anything awkward. Thing is, it wa getting really difficult to stop myself from doing so. It was like 30 minutes past midnight, and my little sister and I are alone on the top floor, and there's no way she would see me from the angle my door is at.
Now, we moved houses recently and we don't have AC at our new place yet. So it's hot. Really hot. It was 36°C (96,8°F) in my room last night, so jerking off with my door closed would have been an excruciating experience. So i listened for a bit to make sure no one was close-by, and heard nothing. I then started doing the deed.
At some point, I noticed the bathroom door closing in the corner of my eye. I thought: Oh well, my little sister woke up to go to the bathroom. Again, not that bad, as there's no real way she could have seen me. So I closed my door, a little shook, but was horny enough to keep going. Finished the deed, went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up and everyone was pissed. Now, we're all sick and we all sleep like shit because of the heat, so I didn't think much of it. I just did my things as usual (tasks around the house, took a shower, etc.).
Eventually, I ask my mom why my big sister is so annoyed today. She tells me that the latter saw me jerking off the night before, and even saw me finish. Of course, I'm confused as shit, as I really thought my little sister went to the toilet and there's no reason why she would have been upstairs at midnight, apart from an emergency. Also, I finished a while after having closed my door, meaning she couldn't have seen that.
After some verification and confirmation, I learned that my little sister never woke up: my big sister actually went upstairs to use the bathroom, as my mom was using the downstairs one. I never heard anything because they'd turned off the TV a few minutes prior, making me think they were asleep.
Now she's pissed at me (obviously) and told me she's traumatized (in a serious fashion, not exaggerating). She's never done anything sexual and seems strangely repulsed by the thought of it (she's not asexual, just solo stuff she finds disgusting). It is obviously my fault, but I think she's exaggerating a bit .
TL;DR: I jerked off with my bedroom door open cus it was very hot; my sister saw me without me knowing; now she's traumatized.
MaYHeMXpErT: Ok how did your big sis saw u finishing up if u closed the door before it?
_TheKing144_yt_: She didn't, as I said. She told my mom she did, but I don't understand how it could have happened.
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1658246274 | 1658249903 | t3_w2w5he | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking my friend on a haunted camping trip
[deleted]
Jessbefine: Yeesh,I need to know how he is when he wakes up.
How scary
ezreal6969: Of course, I will keep you all updated
| 3 | 1 | |
1658248068 | 1658298511 | t3_w2wv35 | t5_2to41 | 37 | HighLikeUhAttic: TIFU by not knowing what a booty call was
This happened in college about 6 years ago, but i had to tell it and get it off my chest after reading a similar TIFU earlier today.
Back in my sophomore year of college in Texas, I had your typical night out in the city partying and eventually got back to the student living neighborhood by campus. I saw an older highschool friend and he invited me back to his place for some late night afters at his apartment to keep the party going. I immediately hit it off with a cute girl there and she was really nice I remember enjoying our conversation and laughing a lot. Well i had gotten tired and hungry and all i could think of was the stack of oreos in my fridge next to a large bottle of milk. So i said my goodbyes and walked out.
As I walked out I hear, "HEY OP WAIT UP" and its the same girl and we both happened to live in the same apartment complex as my hs buddy and even crazier she was two doors down from me on my floor. So we walk back. As soon as I get to her door i remember it got quiet and kind of awkward but it didnt really phase me i was just hungry. Since no one said anything for a while and she was just staring at me i just went "Well it was great meeting you ill see you around!" and gave her a side hug and walked to my room. I didnt realize she looked kind of disappointed for whatever reason
The story doesnt end here. I eventually got to my sweet oreos and milk and started watching youtube waiting for my roommates to get home so we can play some smash bros. Unfortunately, i took a huge rip of this bong which made me so sleepy and i got in bed. I end up getting a text maybe 10 min after getting home and in bed and sure enough its that girl. She simply says "Hey OP! I got your number from \*insert hs friend name\* just wanted to see if youre still up!"...
So i read that and in my mind i go "not for long these oreos and weed are about to knock me tf out" so i put my phone down and pass out.
I woke up the next day feeling rested and I see my roommates in the morning playing video games. I explain to them my night and how weird i thought that this girl found my number like that to their response they stop playing video games and start giving me shit saying she booty called me. And my response to that was, "what you mean like a call for sex?"
Yeah if you cant tell i was very inexperienced at that time. I ended up texting her that morning something like "hey sorry i passed out whats up?"
I never got a response or saw her again. I saw my hs friend and explained to him what happened and he just started laughing hysterically. I dont know why i never tried to follow up with her. Most likely i was too embarrassed haha but im glad i got this off my chest
TL:DR - I denied a booty text for oreos weed and smash bros without realizing it
ariphron: Girl brought over a bottle of wine that was called “smashberry” to my house and got naked I was still like “so how are you doing, did you want to watch Netflix like you said” I still regret that day. We just drank wine and watched Netflix. I did not get the hint at the time.
HighLikeUhAttic: Why do we think like this man
ariphron: But I was also following the guy rule of “don’t stick your dick in crazy” so maybe for the best. Last thing I would want is having to deal with her for the rest of my life with a child. So maybe for the best .
Rebeeroo: Gross
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1658248792 | 1658268905 | t3_w2x5aq | t5_2to41 | 10 | Mental-Violinist-275: TIFU when I passed gas around my girlfriends face.
I was tired and mad because of a lot of stuff. Over the past year I've been living with my girlfriend and whenever it comes to cleaning around the house she does not do anything. Some sort of event comes up and we buy a bunch of stuff for it. However when it comes to organizing and setting up this stuff, she disappears and does not help.
She had given me her word on multiple occasions with no luck other than her getting mad at me because I haven't started right away. It ends up being me doing all the work, sometimes doing over and beyond what I'd like last minute so we can meet the expectation of what we wanted. This has led to a lot of disappointing times and it always turns into being my fault. Her excuse is she paid for a lot of it. I also paid for some of it too however she doesn't want to acknowledge that she doesnt really help by buying crap.
I bought a clothing organizer for our closet as we were using totes before. She kept complaining about those totes so I did this which worked for the most part and she even said she can now go through her clothes. However a whole month went by and the room got worse.
Last night I had enough and started to clean because originally I wanted to play on my computer. I made a comment about being the "mad auntie" who cleans everything and she is just the uncle that just sits there half joking. But I was serious. She played it off like I should relax and lay down. I told her originally I was trying to play my games on my computer. This kind of pissed me off.
Earlier that day at lunch time there was some garbage and I was wondering if she would throw it out when she was done. She said that she would. I come home from work and up until the evening the garbage remained. I ended up throwing it out. There would be constant garbage flooding onto my desk. Which I would throw out.
Finally after putting some clothes away I lay down and she gives me some cuddles. Then she started to annoy me with poking and tickling. Not giving a real kiss. She could tell I was annoyed and said she was really getting to me. I asked her to stop buy she didnt right away. Eventually was trying to pull my beard hair out so I gave her tweezers to help. I couldn't tolerate the pain so instead we watch a movie. I fell asleep on her. I woke up from her at the end of the movie and started to kiss. I tried to see if she wanted to have sex and she didnt. Turned over and went to sleep.
For me it was a combination of everything that eventually I got up on the bed and passed gas next to her head. It was the stupidest thing I did. She was mad. Said it was one of the most disrespectful things that I have done. There is probably no justification for it but I've tried everything to address the issue.
TL;DR Girlfriend keeps promising to help out but doesn't, was really upset one evening and passed gas by her face.
Bozigg: Honestly, I don't want to tell you what to do with your life and your relationship, but I'm a firm believer in relationships being an equal partnership. You are clearly pulling most of the weight, and she is definitely taking advantage of your ability to do things even if you don't want to. My last relationship was kind of like that. She was an amazing person as a whole, but things fell into disarray and she would never pick up after herself and that made me feel like I was responsible for the whole household even though the majority of the mess was hers since she worked from home. It weighed on me more and more every time the house/room was picked up by myself, and then two days later it was back to the same old routine. Been a couple months since we broke up, and I'm in such a healthier place mentally since I don't have that added stress constantly in my life.
Mental-Violinist-275: Thank you. I definitely shouldn't have passed gas to her face. It was very immature. I'm trying to find a new place because this wasn't okay.
Bozigg: I wouldn't be overly offended by my SO passing gas in my face. Shit happens, pun intended. What's concerning is her lack of support when it comes to everyday upkeep of your shared living space.
Mental-Violinist-275: That's how I'm feeling, but her anger was definitely more rooted than that. She brought up old mistakes I made which I have not repeated since however it didnt stop her. She pushed it on the fact we didnt have sex however I would have blown up at some point, sex was just the easy gateway to what was actually bothering me. We don't have any other healthy way of addressing issues like her not pulling her weight.
Bozigg: I feel it. It's hard being with someone who isn't willing to even discuss those kind of issues without hashing out old issues. At some point it might just become not worth it to continue working on the relationship if she won't even meet you half way.
Mental-Violinist-275: I talked to her and it sounds like she was willing. She just didnt know how much it was bothering me. I told her I wasnt able to use my computer for my alone time while shes at home.
Bozigg: I'm glad to hear that, but keep an eye out for her slipping back into old ways, because it's easy to forgive especially if you see change immediately. People have a tendency to try at first, but give up slowly over time. Good luck with everything!
| 8 | 1.25 | |
1658249371 | 1658253407 | t3_w2xdlg | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by engaging in hookup culture
[deleted]
XesLanaLear: Gotta be careful of those creepy expirations.
Jokes aside, it happens mate. Trust your gut, whether anything bad was going on or not.
jabanas1: thanks man fixed it and yeah im trying to see it as more of an opportunity to see that i need more self control in my life I should’ve just went to bed lmao
XesLanaLear: Haha, cheers. See? It was a learning experience already.
Makes ya feel better I've done the same in my younger days, but I didn't have the common sense to stop. We just went ahead with the most awkward sex imaginable, I tend to fire off early if I'm too nervous and so it lasted all of 4 minutes.
And then turned out she knew like... absolutely everybody that I did and we'd just never encountered each other somehow, so she promptly spread around how unsatisfactory it was. 😂
jabanas1: Does make me feel a bit better thanks for responding means a lot!
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1658250239 | 1658334277 | t3_w2xq5n | t5_2to41 | 119 | mondaysareturds: TIFU by eating the dinner my 12 y.o. daughter made
This happened last night but I'm just realizing this morning how bad the fu was.
My daughter loves to bake and is learning to cook. I try to be supportive and I've taught her how to make a few dishes and she likes to try new recipes, which I encourage. I realize that she will make mistakes along the way, but that's part of the learning process. Well, yesterday, my daughter got the idea to make savory waffles for dinner. She found a recipe and carefully executed it while my husband helped her out in the kitchen. She served me two waffles and told me different ways I could top them so I decided on avocado and microgreens because it was a cheddar and green onion waffle.
My daughter was so excited to present this meal to me and she even synchronized her first bite with mine so we could taste it together. So the first thing I taste is like a fishy taste but otherwise the waffle is everything it should be, golden brown on the outside and fluffy in the middle. But I can't really taste anything other than the fishy taste. I'm eating this dish trying to figure out why it tastes bad, especially on the crispy outside. I did just recover from COVID and things are tasting a bit off so I thought maybe it's just me. My daughter seems to be enjoying it and she keeps looking at me to see if I like it. I tell her that I like how fluffy it was and that the cheese in the waffle is my favorite part. It tastes bad and I admit I'm a bit of a people pleaser so I tried to eat the better part of both waffles so as not to disappoint or discourage her.
My husband wasn't eating with us, which is not unusual because he's not as willing to try new recipes. He comes by and asks, "how is it?" At this point I'm like the lady from the meme doing mental math. I think I know what the taste was because I usually do all the dishes and I don't recall EVER cleaning the waffle iron. I ask my husband if he cleaned the waffle iron before using it. He must've realized his part in the fu because instead of saying no, he answered "not with water" and I realize that the fishy taste is indeed the taste of a cheddar and green onion waffle cooked in rancid oil/butter/grease left over from whenever the last time we used it. I think the last time the waffle iron was used was like over a year ago. I guess my waffles were the first two cooked and absorbed most of the rancid oil so my daughter didn't taste it? I have since been flossing, brushing, and using mouthwash to get the taste out of my mouth but nevertheless it persists. So here I am the next day repulsed at the mere thought of food.
TLDR I kept eating a waffle that was cooked in rancid oil and tasted awful so as not to curb my daughter's enthusiasm in the kitchen and now I may have ruined eating food
Fantastic_Music2421: There was no FU… you ate something your daughter made for you and was very proud of. The fishy taste is leftover from covid I’d bet… I’ve also never cleaned my waffle iron and it never tastes weird
SallyHeap: I have never washed my waffle iron, ever. It's never gotten rancid. Maybe OP's family uses tons of oil and it pools in the iron.
plasmaflare34: Iron generally loves oil. People often don't. Do you use it weekly? Do you add more than just batter? Some ingredients can make oil Very nasty. Not cleaning something after you use it is a FU, but using it is very much not.
SallyHeap: I use it rarely and I don't use any oil other than what's in the batter recipe. The waffles don't stick and I only ever wipe off the iron with water. But I make nothing except plain waffles in it, too, so nothing melts on it or anything.
| 5 | 23.8 | |
1658251807 | 1658253082 | t3_w2ycoa | t5_2to41 | 4 | eekspiders: TIFU by doing the original choreography to a song instead of the modified one
I will preface this by saying I am by no definitions a novice dancer—I did ballet from ages 4 to 11 before moving on to contemporary dance and in the past 3ish years I've focused specifically on K-pop dances and I practice 4-5 days a week, plus I have gymnastics training on top (I'm 22 right now). This is not a case of the Dunning-Kruger Effect.
(also obligatory "not today," this was yesterday but I'm seeing the effects now)
So arguably one of the most intense K-pop choreographies is the song *Dionysus* by BTS. I'm not gonna get into all the technicalities, but there is a part during the second chorus where the dancer is, to grossly simplify, essentially supposed to [bellyflop onto the floor and catch themselves](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BelovedDangerousHound-size_restricted.gif). That was the original choreography to *Dionysus* that you can still find clips of.
For obvious reasons it's a dangerous move and one of the band members themselves even got hurt doing it. What the artists did was modify the landing so they're only dropping to one knee, thus their body won't have to absorb the force of the impact. [This is what it looks like now](https://pa1.narvii.com/7430/1f731bff3c5b85aecc891613a675968a3893afe4r1-600-614_hq.gif).
Because of the complex techniques in the song, I've been putting it on the backburner for a while because I wasn't confident I could pull it off (plus I'm part of a dance crew, so group consensus matters). In the last couple weeks, however, me and a couple of my crew members decided to try our hand at it with that second modified version. That all went well and we had fun.
But yesterday, I was like "screw it" and tried my hand at the original choreography alone in my apartment yesterday evening. I shoved my furniture aside so I had this wide hardwood space to work on and got to practicing. The first two rounds went fine and I was just getting used to the drop part. But the third round, I got distracted by a bug tapping at the window and didn't fall the right way—basically all of my weight went on my right hand while it was slapping the floor at terminal velocity. The pain was like... imagine if you got in Mjolnir's way. That's all I'll say.
Nothing seemed broken and after doing a once-over I called it a night because *ow that still hurt like a buttcheek on a stick*. This morning, however, I woke up two hours before my alarm to my hand shooting bolts up my arm and this giant bruise covering my entire palm. Since I have work today, I basically wrapped my hand and took some painkillers. It currently aches to type. If it gets worse, I'm gonna get it checked out, but yeah.
TL;DR — I tried to do the more-dangerous original choreography instead of the safer modified version for a BTS song and badly bruised (or possibly did something worse to) my hand because I landed on it with all my weight.
sinevigiliamentis: OUCH! Sorry to read that. Years ago I was being timed for a 100 yard dash, and it was 50 yards to the wall. Hit the wall with my hand, elbow locked. Still hurt so much that night my parents took me to the emergency room. No clear break on the x-ray, but the Dr pointed out that where my arm curved to meet my wrist was convex and should be concave - the result of hundreds of miniscule fractures. That's my long way of saying please do get yourself checked out. There are plenty of surprising ways we can hurt ourselves.
eekspiders: If it doesn't go down by tonight I'll head to urgent care. Thank you!
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658252759 | 1671766918 | t3_w2yq9n | t5_2to41 | 23 | cookiedoughgoblin: TIFU by not hiding my King Bach cutout from my new girlfriend
I have a life size 1:1 King Bach cardboard cutout, alongside an oversized cutlery set and some other less noticeable goodies. My collection is a product of years of in jokes between me and my friends who got me a King Bach meme related item every year, culminating in the life size King Bach cutout this year.
He has been staring at me for months now so I don't even notice him anymore.
A little over a month ago I met a girl who is really cute, we were both genuinely interested in each other and hit it off great. So naturally I invited her over after a couple of dates.
Now understand that I am not the smartest person nor do I possess a lot of foresight, some may refer to me as a moron, that's not to say I don't have my moments but they are few.
All of my collectibles reside in my room on specially designated spots alongside a fair bit of nerd shit i collected over the years, such as Fallout merch, some bobbleheads etc. etc.
She comes over, dressed nicely, we drink some beers, order a pizza and one thing led to another and we're moving onto my room. Surprise, surprise, King Bach is there. Staring. With his stupid comb in his hair. At first she was startled but I quickly explained that no one is in my room, much less King Bach, rather it's just his likeness. The weird looks started and I instantly knew I wasn't going to get any. We went through my collection piece by piece and as I tried to explain why I have so much King Bach related memorabilia she started laughing maniacally. I was beyond ashamed but I felt compelled to explain why King Bach resides in my room, which ultimately did not help. Understand that I am somewhat of a private person, I do not like talking about my friends' in jokes or what kind of memes I enjoy.
Long story short, we did not have sex, but she is a bit more knowledgeable on King Bach lore.
As of an hour ago, I received a text saying: " What the dog doin' tomorrow afternoon?" And I'm just not sure how to respond as this significantly complicates my life because the image of King Bach pops up every time I think of her. Worst part is, I don't even like King Bach, I just enjoy the jokes we make.
TL;DR
A girl I called over found out about my King Bach related collection, such as a life size cardboard cutout and an oversized cutlery set. By trying to explain myself, I ended up looking like a wierdo. King Bach cockblocked me.
Big-Help-5164: I have a autograph hat singed by king Bach if you are interested.
https://preview.redd.it/xzuq1mn91m7a1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=34b44bd3ff6abe9d50a48b7b11ac8eba0188c543
Big-Help-5164: https://preview.redd.it/dvr8zeyc1m7a1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b9e8edee0da94419cbc38bf1963af8d889e0e6d
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1658253257 | 1658380503 | t3_w2yxb1 | t5_2to41 | 8 | NotTypicalPasta: TIFU by having a guy buy me pregnancy test
[removed]
Fit_Ad_7681: Well, are you pregnant?
NotTypicalPasta: Well luckily no. Chances were low cuz we always use protection but you never know with that shit
Slash_Raptor92: Yes, but remember that condoms are only like, 97% effective.
NotTypicalPasta: Ya that's why I said chances are low...
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1658253753 | 1658258068 | t3_w2z4gc | t5_2to41 | 27 | bigboobz7: TIFU by alluding that I was not gay
I (18M) am gay and from Vancouver, CA. I was accepted into a university in the United States which I am attending in the fall. It just so happened that one of my childhood best friends (17F) moved to the same city that the uni is located in about 5 years ago. When I told her the news that I was accepted at the school, she was ecstatic that we would be reunited and asked if I could move down as soon as possible, since we wanted to see each other.
I pleaded with my parents to let me stay with her so I could get settled in more quickly. Being the fresh off the boat parents they are, they refused but let me visit so I could get a feel for the area. Yesterday was the day I arrived and she picked me up from the airport so we could spend the day with eachother. Today, she introduced me to some of her friends and her boyfriend. This is where things start to go a little haywire.
The first thing I notice is that her boyfriend had a noticeable resemblance to me. I’m Brazilian and he’s Puerto Rican, and we’re both very ambiguous/mixed looking. Curly dark hair, similar skin tones, eye color and shape, even height and build. This was a complete coincidence, but I personally believe that it did have an effect on what precipitated later on.
Again, I am as gay as they come. I have had zero attraction to my friend, and as far as I know the vice versa applies as well. That being said, I’m used to people already knowing this and at first glance I don’t “appear gay”. I quickly realized that her boyfriend was slightly uncomfortable with this childhood male friend who looks a lot like him showing up and being very close with his girlfriend. I figured one of three things: he already knew I was gay and it was instinctual, his girlfriend would tell him at some point, or that he would figure it out eventually. I didn’t feel the need to blurt out in front of everyone “btw I’m a homosexual.”
Later in the night, we’re listening to music and Lambada comes on (iykyk Brazilians). My friend and I start dancing to the song. It isn’t necessarily a sexual dance, but it’s definitely more sensual or touchy than what most Americans are used to. His eyes went kinda wide and after the dance was over, he glared at me to the point I was getting very uncomfortable. I brushed it off and continued to be how I usually was with her, which is kind of touchy and close.
I go home with my friend and I get an instagram DM from said boyfriend, basically telling me to back the fuck off. This is where I actually kind of fuck up. My emotions get the better of me as I’m like, “who the fuck is this guy to tell me to back off one of my closest friends??” I could’ve just told him I was gay and ended it right then and there, but decided not to. I sent him an old picture from a party where my friend and another girl are kissing my cheek and I’m holding up a middle finger. When you know the context, the picture is pretty funny; however, because he thought I was straight, it came off like I was being an asshole.
My friend bursts into my room in tears asking me what the fuck I told her boyfriend, to which I respond by showing her the picture I sent to him. She starts bawling even harder and tells me her boyfriend picked a huge fight over the phone while he was DMing me. When she tried to tell him I was gay, he didn’t believe her.
They’ve been texting for the last hour and I sent another DM explaining that I really am gay, just messing with him bc he got so jealous. He never responded to me, but my friend has been a mess over it.
TL;DR: I caused a huge fight in a relationship by being touchy with my friend and implying that I wasn’t gay to her boyfriend.
elhaxxej: good riddance to him, you saved her from a jealous ass
dr_xenon: Exactly this. She got off easy. Better to find out he’s jealous and insecure now instead of three years from now.
| 3 | 9 | |
1658254131 | 1658256389 | t3_w2z9ua | t5_2to41 | 12 | NukelearWarzone: tifu by breaking a promise
I won't go into too much detail but I made a promise to my girlfriend who is the one person in my life that makes me feel good to be me, the promise was that I wouldn't tell anyone about something that happened between us.
I told one friend out of concern bc I felt horrible about the incident. Another friend wouldn't stop asking questions and I told him.
He proceeded to make a little scene about it infront of my girlfriend as a joke. She said she now trusts me less and that's understandable.
I can't stop feeling like I've let her down and betrayed her trust. She said on call that everyone eventually breaks her trust, that is what killed me because I... I didn't want to be like everyone else to her.
I'm a promise breaking a-hole and I deserve it if she decides to have this as a reason to leave me
TLDR: I broke a promise to someone who's important to me and now they don't trust me and I have no idea what to do
StevieSmall999: You did mess up, apologise properly, and I don't mean saying "sorry I did this" I mean look up how to apologise properly, take responsibility for what you did and assure her you'll take the time to be worthy of her trust again. And then, even if this is the moment that is the beginning of the end of your relationship, you have at least learned that you don't make promises you can't keep.
Like be realistic with your promises too, don't promise you'll love someone forever because you won't, don't promise you'll never hurt them because you will. That's life, it happens.
You actively broke her promise, you maybe thought it was for a good reason, to help. You misjudged the severity of the promise and the maturity of your friend. Learn and move forward, everything else you do now is not going to be as helpful as that, especially beating yourself up over it.
NukelearWarzone: Thank you
StevieSmall999: I might sound harsh, but I really do mean that last bit, do not beat yourself up for the next 2 weeks, that's detrimental to what you want to achieve, take a breath, apologise well and then support her. Have a word with your mate if you made it clear it was a big deal, if they can't see they've done anything wrong, re-evaluate that friendship
NukelearWarzone: Genuinely though thank you
I needed to hear that
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1658254923 | 1658259363 | t3_w2zl80 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by missing obvious sign from a girl
[deleted]
disillusionedpotato: Did you keep the seaglass atleast?
Humble_Stuff2289: The only reason I was finding seaglass was for an excuse to talk to the girls.
| 3 | 2 | |
1658257576 | 1658258093 | t3_w30n7t | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by defrosting two ribeyes in the sink.
[deleted]
derande_yo: OP hates wasting food but loves wasting water.
Jerrybeans88: Fair enough. I see the issue
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1658259078 | 1658349858 | t3_w318k7 | t5_2to41 | 41 | iloseyouindegrees: TIFU for not chewing my food properly and having bad stomach problems for the last 3-4 years
So I have been having bad stomach problems for a food 3-4 years, I should have gone to the doctors but I never did because I'm an idiot
I would burp A LOT, a stupid amount. And they would be painful as well
I would also get really bloated and just feel uncomfortable
I thought the problem might be some sort of combination of acid reflux, gluten and lactose interloance... something like that
I genuinely thought I may have a serious problem like cancer in my stomach because it was that bad..... yes I know i'm an idiot for not going to doctors
BUT I just carried on and learned to deal with and still managed to be productive in life, working, exercising, hobbies, getting stuff done etc....
Last Thursday for evening meal I just thought to myself "why don't I eat the meal slower and chew and see if this helps"
And I felt pretty good Thursday evening
Did the same Friday for all my meals and felt pretty good again
I was eating SLOWLY, I was CHEWING my food properly and even took little breaks during the meal
Saturday I felt incredible, Stomach felt great and was feeling skinny and had loads of energy
And that has carried on to Sunday and Monday
So I have obviously found the solution to my stomach problems which is great but I do feel like a twat for not realising this 4 years ago
But this is great news, If I can be productive and deal with life with a dodgy stomach, I feel ever better equipped to carry on feeling great like this
Imagine walking with a painful limp for 4 years and you have an operation and you can walk and run pain free, this is literally how I feel right now
TLDR: I didn't chew my food and ate too fast for a few years causing bad stomach problems but have started eating slower and chewing and now I have no stomach problems
DarklightNS: Wait so i might not have developt lactose and gluten intolerance?
And everything i need to do is chew more? If this is true, this should be a LPT - honestly like i know you have to chew properly but i might just haven't realized what the side effects if not having done it are and consequently i wasn't able to conclude my stomach problems come from this.
iloseyouindegrees: Do you have stomach issues as well? Are you going to try chew and eat slower to see if this helps??
DarklightNS: Thats exactly what i will try to do 👍 Thanks - any advice?
iloseyouindegrees: Let me know how you get on!
My main advice for first couple days.... really focus on the chewing.... don't forget about it
Take small ish bites
If it's a large meal, maybe take 1-2 min break during it
And make sure you are chewing for everything you eat, breakfast // lunch // dinner // snacks....
I would normally eat some toast or sandwich and the whole thing would be gone in about 1 minute, but now it's really natural for me to take a bite or 2, put it down and repeat a couple times... sometimes it takes me 10-15 eat something quite small but it feels natural now and actually quite enjoyable instead of scoffing it down in 60 seconds
DarklightNS: I feel like all the chewing makes me full faster, and i dont feel like eating as much, idk if that is good or bad for now, no stomach aches so thats good -
also btw. what really helped me befor is drinking some kefir, it has a lot of good bacteria to help with our problems, honestly it was the first thing in a while that i found that really helped - but now the longer chewing is gonna maybe actually make the kefir obsolete.
I am just happy and thankful that i can consume cheese again haha
| 6 | 6.833333 | |
1658252896 | 1658291501 | t3_w2ys97 | t5_2to41 | 294 | Sacred4skin: TIFU by turning my gf on at work
Obligatory this happened a few years ago, but I was reminded of this recently and figured it was worth a share. First time posting here and on mobile, forgive me.
At the time, me (24m) and my now wife (28f) both worked at a local AT&T store. She was my manager when I first started but when we found interest in each other she stepped down so we could date without consequence. So fast forward to a slow day, about 5 of us are hanging out in the lobby. For the sake of the story, my wife is obsessed with my hands and I was typing in a computer near her. I guess it made her feel some type of way, so she went to the bathroom to ease herself lol. The fuck up comes when she decided to take a video and share it with me. I guess she had forgot she was connected to the stores Bluetooth speaker playing music in the lobby, and the speaker was in the middle of a table my 2 bosses and another associate where sitting at. As she records her bathroom escapade, the video plays back and you hear faint Mac and cheese noises coming from the speaker. My boss grabs it and pulls it closer trying to figure out what the hell the noise is 🤣 luckily he didn’t guess. Definitely never letting her live that one down
TL;DR
My wife had her phone connected to her work speaker while recording herself flicking the bean
iamtimb: Mac and cheese noises. 🤣🤣 I love that sound!
Sacred4skin: Lmao I wasn’t sure of any other way to word it 😂
Diamondsfullofclubs: At least she wasn't moaning the way I do when I eat mac and cheese.
| 4 | 73.5 | |
1658252292 | 1658330123 | t3_w2yjol | t5_2to41 | 401 | PurpleDuck11: TIFU by eating raw pasta
So this actually happened 15 years ago when I was 16.
I used to have a friend whose mom didn’t care if he and his friends smoked weed. She was the “I’d rather them do it in the house” kind of mom. She was also also single and worked a lot, so my friend would invite his friends over every day and they would sit around and smoke weed. Of course though, a bunch of high teenagers tend to eat a lot, and my friends mom got tired of coming home to no food in the fridge or cabinets, so she decided to start locking them.
One day, I was hanging out at his house and I had the munchies. I had no money cause I was 16 and didn’t work. I couldn’t go home and eat cause I was high as a kite. I decided to see if I could get into the fridge or cabinets, but my friend’s mom had really them secured tight.
All I could find to eat was a box of uncooked pasta.
I wasn’t going to eat them at first, but I was just so hungry and I felt I had no other options. So eventually, I gave in. I sucked on each piece one by one, trying to make them soft enough to chew. It was just about as awful as it sounds.
The real kicker though, is that just a few months ago, I was thinking about this cringeworthy moment in my life when it suddenly hit me…. My friend’s mom only locked up the food, not the dishes and cookware… so I could have cooked the pasta first.
TL,DR: I was stoned and all the food was locked up, except for a box of uncooked pasta, so I ate it. Then realized 15 years later that the pots weren’t locked up and I could have cooked the pasta.
chaosensuesnow: don’t worry. i have friends who eat raw pasta as an entire meal. even when they’re not high.
fabio__90: That's probably just al dente. Or at least I hope...
chaosensuesnow: nope. raw and hard.
fabio__90: Ouch.
| 5 | 80.2 | |
1658260901 | 1658270755 | t3_w31z60 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Karlosmclenn: TIFU by telling my mom and older sister what my other sister did while we were home alone
[removed]
AleGolem: No, using someone else's bed to bang your significant other is not sexually assaulting the owner of the bed. It's kind of rude but that's the extent of it. Your mom is nuts.
Karlosmclenn: What i meant is, my mom thinks the way my sister told me her sexual experiences was sexual assault
AleGolem: Either way she is wrong.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1658260995 | 1658276150 | t3_w320l1 | t5_2to41 | 14 | RedditWithMIG: TIFU by wiping my video editing company's hard drive with 3 Terabytes of unbacked up footage. M
So this actually happened around 10 years ago.
I was working as a video editor for a small boutique marketing company and as always, I would look for shortcuts on my mac that would save me time editing and prepping materials. two of my most used shortcuts were Command-A (to select all), Command-Delete "throw in the trash') and Command-Shift-Delete (empty trash bin).
So one day I was was cleaning up our most recent hard drive so I could back it up overnight. Here in lies the FU. I hit the shortcut to "select all" and "delete all", followed by "empty trash". I usually never do those two commands together but since its all muscle memory, I hit them all in the same motion. As I go back to the drive to pull up the next project I went white in the face. This is the only drive we had that wasn't backed up yet. It had the most current projects and the final assets for many other projects that we had wrapped up recently.
Boy, I was sweating bullets when I had to go to the boss and explain to him what I had just done. As expected, he had a full blown panic attack while I was searching for solutions to recover the data. As some of you might know, data recovery can be very expensive and I had 3 TB worth of footage to recover.
After hours of scouring the entire internet, I found an app that was able to recover about 80% of the footage but it was all scrambled and unlabeled so I had to spent another 3 days going through 2.75 TB of footage, organizing, labeling it and relinking it to the Premiere project files. Luckily it was enough to finish up the current projects. Needless to say, from that point on we switched our workflow and incorporated a RAID hard drive array.
TLDR: I accidentally wiped a 3 TB hard drive with extremely important footage needed to run our business. I was only able to recover 80% of it back.
Headworx66: You only have to learn that lesson once👍
RedditWithMIG: That's for sure!
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1658261329 | 1658262955 | t3_w325k9 | t5_2to41 | 30 | Footie57: TIFU by not killing a bat
This morning I woke up to my girlfriend trying to get her cat, Buttons, away from a mouse at 3am. Turns out, the "mouse" was, in fact, a bat. So to get the thing away from Buttons, she turned on the light and it started frantically flying around the room. So she grabbed the cat and the three of us noped the fuck out of the bedroom while the poor bat was frantically trying to find a way out. After a few seconds of processing what we were dealing with, she decided to go back in to catch it, because she is rabies vaccinated as a vet, and I am not. So she snags it somehow with a sheet and I opened the door for her and she threw the sheet outside and we confirmed that the winged furry mammal was actually outside. Great success!
Untill work this morning.
Of course I was exhausted from being woken up at 3 am and not being able to get back to sleep, so I told my coworkers what had happened. I was informed that when you've got a bat in your sleeping area, it's considered a rabies exposure because it's possible you were bitten or scratched unknowingly (I confirmed this on the CDC website). Apparently bat bites are so small that many people are not aware that they have been bitten. However, if you kill the bat (or for other cases trap whatever bit you) it can be sent away for rabies testing and if it's negative you can avoid the rabies vaccine. But we let the bat go, so I got to spend my afternoon calling insurance making sure I'm covered, waiting around at convenient care, and sitting in an exam room to get a shot in each arm, a shot in each thigh, and a shot in each ass cheek. And then I get to come back a few more times to get a single shot for a few more visits.
Tldr: a bat got in our room, I had to get rabies shots and now my ass hurts
dahumancartoon: Bats are awesome. Killing it would make you an asshole.
Footie57: I agree
| 3 | 10 | |
1658264460 | 1658371039 | t3_w33f5m | t5_2to41 | 23 | xandroida1: TIFU by breaking someone's heart
Okay, I know the title sounds bad, but read my story first.
I am arromantic. That means I can't feel romantic attraction, but as a very touchy and caring person, I always have "something more than a friendship" with some people, but it's always platonic.
I openly say that I'm arromantic, I wear a bracelet with the flag, it's in my ig bio and just scream it every 5 seconds tbh. But I was evidently not clear enough...
I have this friend, who we'll call Lily. I met her just a couple months ago, but we clicked instantly. We had the same interests and we felt super comfy with eachother. We fooled around a bit, if you know what I mean, but we never actually had s3x. I'm also super corny with her and always send gm and gn texts, I call her princess and she calls me prince (corny asf, ik, but leave me alone lol). Anyone from the outside would be sure we're dating.
I never told her I was arromantic, because I assumed she knew, but today I posted a story talking about my experience with arromanticism and she replied:
- "Wait... You're aromantic?"
- "Yeah, you didn't know?"
- "No... I didn't..."
- "Damn I thought you knew since I always say it lol"
- "Yeah, anyways I'm busy rn, bye"
Not until much later talking with some friends I realised just how much i F up. I never even thought that she would ever feel that way so I never held back with openly flirting and stuff. I had hope that it wasn't what ti seemed and she was just in a bad mood (she's usually super cheerful) but today I talked to her in the hallways but she ghosted me irl while looking at me like I'm trash.
She isn't the only one heartbroken, I'm completely devastated because she was one of the most important person in my life. What should I do? Am I really that much of an ahole or was I just stupid? I need help
TL;DR: A girl friend didn't know I was arromantic and was in love with me, It broke her heart when she found out
Bucketdweller: Uh... If you're sending good morning and goodnight messages to somebody and calling them 'princess' and fooling around with them as a matter of course... You might want to reevaluate your designation of 'arromantic'. Sounds like you have plenty of romantic feeling and ideation, but possibly a fear of commitment.
xandroida1: Absolutely not. Feeling romantic attraction is not sending a good morning text. I don't feel anything more than a friendship with her, and I'm definitely not scared of commitment
Bucketdweller: There was a bunch of 'and's in there though.
The relationship you described is not one of simple friendship.
xandroida1: That's why I use the word platonic. But I have no romantic feelings for her, at all
Bucketdweller: I'm not totally convinced you're using those words correctly. The fact that you have evidently engaged in a romantic relationship without recognizing it might mean a few things.
Personally, I would lean toward the possibility that you have not defined the concept of romanticism the same way that most people might.
There is no outside source (this one included) that can help you come to a true conclusion regarding this situation, but from where I stand, either you are a casual but strong romantic who is not seeking a permanent engagement, or I don't know what romanticism is.
Maybe I don't know. I've been around a lot of blocks though, and I enjoy and have enjoyed many types of love, both given and received, as a result. I am an accomplished musician and a secret poet; I understand the language of love. If I dont know what romance is, then I don't know who does.
| 6 | 3.833333 | |
1658266314 | 1658267136 | t3_w345st | t5_2to41 | 25 | Moosebuckets: TIFU by not paying attention at work
I’ve been insanely tired from insomnia and haven’t really slept in a few weeks. I’m essentially just running off caffeine and the endless hope that maybe tonight will be the night I sleep.
I work in ophthalmology (medical eye care) and one of the things I do is refract people or find the prescription for their glasses. Usually I start with the prescription in their current glasses and go from there.
Today I put the instrument up to my patient and told her to read the line on the chart that she had read off in her glasses. She couldn’t read it or the next five above it.
So I check her glasses to make sure I had the prescription down correctly and go back to the room just confused until I saw I hadn’t actually put her prescription in the phoropter.
I had checked her against the previous patients prescription and she was panicking thinking something was wrong with her. She was super nice and relieved it was a me thing and not a her thing but I felt so stupid.
TL;DR I was too tired from not sleeping to notice I had skipped a crucial step in patient care and confused myself and accidentally spooked my patient.
Rosey991: Get some help with insomnia. There’s no tifu
Jay_Stranger: 1 day it's messing up a thing at work. The next it might be a stoplight. Insomnia has to be the most self treated thing I have ever seen in people. I've had 3 different people with insomnia tell me that doctors won't do anything, or that all they need is an hour or 2.
I seriously doubt both.
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1658266942 | 1658273849 | t3_w34eki | t5_2to41 | 5 | Helpful_Time_7944: TIFU by don't telling my gf important things
Greetings users, first of all I am not a native speaker and I apologize for any misuse of language.
Now, I know the title sounds bad, but hear me out.
For some context I am 19 years old and I am studying in college (I started in February 2022) and since then I have been looking for a job, this has been going on for 4, I was lucky in some interviews but I never got anything and when I had the chance to work in a cafeteria do not take it simply for being lazy. I had to move very far from my partner (50km) to study and for family reasons, I told my partner this at the last minute, to which we talked about how I don't tell her the important things, after this we just continue and life continued, she thought that I was still looking for a job, I never told her that I stopped due to fatigue and that I decided to finish the first year of college, after this we continued, until today where we were with some friends in discord and one began to talk to me about work (my girlfriend was with us) to which she heard what I said and it sounded strange to her so we went to talk in private, this is where everything goes wrong, basically crying my girlfriend told me that I did the same thing again, that I lied to her and again I did not tell her about something as important as that, she said that there was no problem with the fact that she does it as long as I tell her, according to what she said she is not upset and she still loves me but that I am no longer someone trustworthy for her . what do I do people? I honestly want to go to therapy to change and improve many of my skills and this is one of them, the thing is, I screwed up, I made her cry, and I lost her confidence, I don't feel comfortable with this anymore and I don't even know if I should go see her because I feel like I don't deserve it, it's the second time I've done this to her and I don't feel good about myself, I want to change things like this but honestly I don't know how to do it without going to therapy and I want to regain her trust in me, I want her to come back to feel comfortable with me in this aspect because I understand her, I understand that she is hurt and I understand that all this is my fault. help reddit
TL;DR
Basically, I didn't tell my girlfriend the important things, I made her cry and now she lost her trust in me, she said she still loves me and things seem "okay" but I'm not comfortable with this
SalleighG: Well, you need to postpone moping around and make an appointment for therapy, and you need to do that unconditionally about whether you are going to break up or not.
If you have not done so already, you should also go to a doctor and get checked for thyroid problems, iron and B vitamin levels, and Depression. When there are medical problems, it can be very difficult to make good choices.
You start treating her better by getting help for yourself, instead of languishing.
Misses_Lull_and_Bye: This is great advice. You can also set aside 30 minutes a day where you each have 10 minutes just talking to the other about what’s going on for you, how you’re feeling, etc with them just listening, followed by 5 minutes of them asking you questions about that and important areas of your relationship - with them just listening to the answers. The key here is the listening. No responding, no getting defensive, no developing any arguments. It’s about listening to what is going on for the other person.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1658150271 | 1658268155 | t3_w1z5w9 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Fw7toWin: TIFU by aggravating my dog who punched me and I almost became blind on 1st day of vacay
Tl;dr: went on vacay, decided to play with dogs ball and she landed a punch to my eye and I thought I was going to go blind.
Okay, so obligatory, this happened last night and I am fine after a little bit of panic.
We are on our vacay in a really nice beachside airbnb. We arrive after a long drive and figure’d we would rest a bit so we chill on our bed and put our little 13 lbs dog on the bed with us.
She is fine and my wife was figuring out what we should do and is talking to me about different places to eat and stuff we can do. The pupper is just laying on the bed playing with her chew toy.
Now, this is where the fuck up happens, I see her ball, without thinking, I make the cardinal sin of throwing her ball up in the air and catching it as I am laying passively conversating with my wife.
Out of nowhere, the pupper jumps what seemed like 6 feet to get the ball in the air and lands a blow to my then open eye. The pain was unreal, and I was tearing up and the eye was red. Blurry vision and now I am panicking.
Decided to get dinner, have some Tylenol and just hit the bed early. Woke up today morning and besides a black and blue eye and soreness, everything seems fine.
Moosebuckets: Oh Jesus Christ. I’m glad you’re okay, we had a patient a few months ago whose dog gave them a massive corneal abrasion from putting a paw on their eye.
Fw7toWin: Oh wow.. what’s a corneal abrasion? I have high anxiety and I seem fine but always worrying what if I am not fine lol
Moosebuckets: If your eye is not in pain, you don’t have one. It’s an abrasion or scratch on the cornea, the clear bit that sits on top of your pupil and iris. The corneal nerve sits there too and it’s essentially the only “exposed” nerve on the body so eye stuff hurts like a biiiiitch.
Fw7toWin: Oh phew.. thank you.. no eye is not in pain, just a little sore.
Moosebuckets: Just use over the counter eye drops if you feel discomfort like Refresh or Systane and use cool compresses on the eye to help with the bruising. Heal quickly!
| 6 | 1.166667 | |
1658271072 | 1658277349 | t3_w360ii | t5_2to41 | 4 | Humble_Stuff2289: TIFU by saying no to a hug from a cute girl because of my low self-esteem
TL;DR: Went on a school overnight camping trip. A cute girl asks me if I want a hug and because of my low self-esteem, I thought she was joking, so I said no to the hug.
This didn't happen today, this happened about a year ago. This was the beginning of Grade 10 when this happened.
My school has these outdoor ed trips once a year, where we get put into groups and we go on 3-5 days overnight trips in the outdoors.
In my group of 7-10 people with 2 guides, my group goes on a kayak trip, where we kayak around to different islands and stay overnight at some of the islands in tents. And, I thought that the girls in my group were both attractive and cute but I was very shy at the time and had low self-esteem.
We kayak to an island where the guides decide that we will set up the tents and stay overnight.
The next day, the guides decide that we go on a hike around the island. On our hike, our group becomes with obsessed with finding sea glass on the beach. When we finish the hike, I go and ask the girls if they want to trade their sea glass with my sea glass. (My friend was encouraging me to talk more to the girls) Then one of the girls, IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE GROUP, who is cute, says "I'll trade a hug for some sea glass."
I was surprised as I barely had any interactions with girls that I didn't know what to say. I also had pretty low self-esteem at the time, so I though she didn't really mean this or some other crap my mind made up. I was so flustered, that I replied, "I think I'm good."
I didn't realize how much I screwed up until I this popped up in my mind yesterday.
eat_like_snake: If you're still focused on missing a potential hug from some rando classmate a year later, you need to go outside more.
It's just a hug. Who gives a shit.
ItsHowWellYouMowFast: Nah, fuck that. Human touch is important and some folks don't get enough of it
eat_like_snake: From a missed chance on a rando? I never said human touch wasn't important. I said worrying about touch from some rando at this person's school is unimportant.
There are ample opportunities for human contact. Go outside, and establish emotional connections with other people. It's not difficult if you're not a creepy weirdo about it.
Stark_Athlon: The OP is bothered about it because the reason for missing the opportunity from this "rando" is due to self esteem issues on his end, which made him want to vent here. You're not understanding where he's coming from. Making connections with people is very hard for someone with a low self esteem because part of the whole shtick is that they don't consider themselves worthy of affection from anyone.
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1658270866 | 1658272484 | t3_w35xqj | t5_2to41 | 29 | Reasonable_Main9872: TIFU by taking an uber home after drinking with some friends
I (18f) currently live with my bf (18m),
his mom, and his sister. I've only been
living with him for about a month, and
everything this far has been great. I get
along with his mom wonderfully, and
his little sister and I are always joking
around and hanging with each other
around the house.
I decided to go to a friend's house last
night for a group sleepover. My bf
decided not to join me, since he had work the next morning. I had been
drinking vodka, maybe had 4 shots
before this friend picked me up from
me and my bfs house, so I was already
a little drunk before I even got in the
car to leave. Once I got to his house, my friend immediately offered me and my other friends some beers, which I politely accepted. We played Xbox and watched some TV till around 3am. Mind you, I was still very out of it.
I suppose it was the alcohol, because
I'm not a clingy person by nature, but by around 3am, I was missing my bf so
much (it was ridiculous, I literally live
with him), so I called myself an uber to
go home. My bf was still awake, so U knew it wouldn't be a big deal. The uber arrived, and the short drive back home went smoothly. I drunkenly stumbled through the front door and down the hall to me and my bfs room, where he was waiting for me.
It was about 4am by this point, and long story short we got to talking and ended up having sex. I was still drunk and extremely tired once it was over with. He left the room after so he could sleep in the living room, because he had to set an early alarm for work and wanted to be considerate of the fact that I would likely be hungover in the morning and need more sleep than him. He told me his mom would also make sure that he was awake in the morning.
What he and my drunk ass didn't realize was that he had left me lying naked till morning, and hadn't told his mom that I came home from the sleepover. The next morning came, and thinking he was asleep in his room she walked in and lo and behold, my naked self was just lying there. In the middle of the bed, completely exposed.
Luckily she hasn't been weird with me since the interaction, but wow was that embarrassing.
TL;DR : I told my bfs mom I was gonna spend the night with a friend, got really drunk, missed my bf so much that I took and uber home at 3am, she didn't realize it, me and my bf had sex when I got back and I was completely naked the next morning, she thought that he was asleep in his room but he went to the living room so his work alarm wouldn't wake me up, she walked in to his room the next morning to make sure he got up for work but saw me lying there naked instead
RacconHero: I'm sorry, but 
Reasonable_Main9872: it was so embarrassing 😭
RacconHero: You'll be fine, that's a cool mom especially since she didn't treat you differently afterwards too. I lived with my fiancé's family for a couple years, and we all had our fair share of embarrassment
Reasonable_Main9872: yeah I'm not too worried about it, she's super cool and I love her so much and it was definitely embarrassing, but she's super understanding and is probably the least judgmental person I've ever met. If it were any of my other exes moms I would be digging my own grave right now lmaooo
| 5 | 5.8 | |
1658270733 | 1658351410 | t3_w35w0d | t5_2to41 | 5 | KeyOpposite8779: TIFU By minimizing my twitter app instead of actually closing it
TIFU By minimizing my twitter app instead of actually closing it
So today my ass was bored in my room n decided to watch porn on twitter then fap since I had nothing better to do
I was still bored after fapping so I decided to bath and go out to chill by the river since I live alongside a river
I get there
Find a seat and decide to open twitter
So the problem is that after fapping I had minimized twitter instead of closing the app
So when i opened twitter it just continued playing the porn video i had been watching😭😭
It was pure Ebony and BBC on there with my brightness on 100😭😭😭
My volume was on maximum and she was moaning like its her last sex
My soul left my body for a second as I tried to cover it up 😭
I almost threw my phone in the river
Luckily, no one was seated next to me and I had headphones on so I was the only one that heard the moaning.
TL;DR. I blame my Post Nut Clarity for causing me to make such a rookie mistake and still feel cringe about the situation thinking what would have happened if someone noticed what had happened
AcrobaticSource3: There’s quality porn on Twitter???
KeyOpposite8779: Yep
The best all categories And great quality
As long as you follow the right accounts
AcrobaticSource3: Okay, you need to share them with me. You can’t just tease a clit like that
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1658271186 | 1658291898 | t3_w361zx | t5_2to41 | 515 | Orangegoat02: TIFU by getting out of bed
Well title is fairly self explanatory I got out of bed at roughly 3 in the morning two weeks ago to go the toilet and either getting out of bed or rolling over to go to the toilet I managed to dislocate my kneecap yep getting out of bed
I try and stand up and think oh my legs cramped up because it kinda felt like that when it dislocated and as you might suspect I cruppled to the floor and then I'm shouting to my parents that I've dislocated my knee
They make there way down the stairs to and open the door to my room and low and behold they see my knee my dad goes to get ice and call 999 who tell him to call 111 and he does and they put him on hold and my mum calls them about 20 minutes later and is informed that if an ambulance were to come it would take 6 - 8 hours to arrive and I'm not comfortable sitting on the floor for that long so they advice that they try and take me to A&E
So cut to me being helped down the stairs with each of my arms around there shoulders and I'm a taller than both of them so that was a struggle and then we finally get me into the car at about 4 in the morning whilst I'm trying to not throw up from the pain.
On the way to A&E (the UK's equialent to ER) there was this bumpy road that hasn't been repaved despite all the other roads around it being repaved and it's not great bouncing around with a kneecap has rotated 90°
When we arrive at A&E they put me in a wheelchair and I wait for a while and then they gave me fentanyl and gas and air the fentanyl was probably a bit excessive but after a minute or two of having the gas and air they relocate my knee just like the click of a finger back in place
They promptly wrap my knee in 3 layers of bandage and wool and then I went home and went to sleep
Since then I've had an x-ray and an MRI scan which showed inflammation round the kneecap and bruising around the bone after seeing a physio they said that 40% of people need only physio to recover and others need surgery which has a recovery period of roughly 9 months
TL:DR I got out of bed to go toilet at 3 in the morning and dislocated my knee which resulted in a trip to A&E and a lot of physio-therapy
Edit: specified what A&E is
Charming_Geologist32: Whwre do you live? 999 111 and A & E have me scratching my head.
omnichad: That would definitely be the UK. Probably. Except I don't know 111.
Charming_Geologist32: Oh okay. I'm American. I assume it's similar to 911 for emergencies over here. Is A & E like ER over here? Emergency Room.
Deus_Ex_Mamita: 999 is the same as 911, 111 is like the urgent but non-emergency line for medical stuff
Charming_Geologist32: Oh okay
| 6 | 85.833333 | |
1658273199 | 1658361351 | t3_w36t0g | t5_2to41 | 49 | MeAndMyWhiskeyBowl: TIFU by being an oblivious teen on Valentine's day
Obligatory this did not happen today, but back in the distant year of 2014.
So, let's set the mood.
Young highschool me (16 M) was friends with this girl called Kate (16 and not her actual name) who I had a massive crush on and who i'd known for the past 4 years up until that point.
At first we were just classmates that had only talked about once or twice during the entire school year, but after repeatedly bumping into each other outside of school (same extracurriculars, same group of friends and hangout spots) we actually hit it off and became pretty good friends.
We started hanging out more inside and outside of school and we always tried to be around each other or at the very least text at some point throughout the day. Also important to the story, we took the same route home every day after school, because our houses were not far from each other.
There was the occasional flirting, play-fighting, hugs and subtle glances, but shy introverted me always chalked it up to her being friendly (in my defense she was part Canadian) and also, I always thought that she was wayyy out of my league so it never crossed my mind that she could actually be interested.
Which leads me to that fateful Valentine's day of 2014.
We had just finished school for the day and were getting ready to start our usual route back home. Our group of friends decided to hang out at school a bit longer that day so it was basically just us two.
The conversation below is word for word whatever happened that day and it's been burned into my memory ever since I realized what happened.
Kate: *while pulling me closer and hugging me* Huh? Seems like it's just the two of us today!
Me: Yep, I think -insert Couple1 and Couple2's names- were going out somewhere together and the rest decided to sit around the bleachers and relax I guess.
Kate: Really? Glad to hear that! We can walk back home by ourselves if you want.
Me: Yeah, that's cool.
Kate: Sooo... I've been wanting to say to you Happy Valentine's OP.
Me: *confused* Umm what are you talking about? I don't have a Valentine Kate.
Kate: *sure as ever and smiling at this point* I'm pretty sure you do though!
Me: *knowing that I'm definitely single and wondering why she thinks I'm hiding it from her* Nope, sadly I don't have one haha.
Kate: Well then anyways, Happy Valentine's from me!
Me: Ohh thank you Kate, that's sweet!
Kate: ...
After that embarrassing conversation, Kate thought that I had basically rejected her and she slowly started to distance herself, ultimately leading to us growing apart.
Meanwhile, it took me 2 months to realize what a huge dumbass I'd been and to this day I remain oblivious, just not as much.
TL;DR Childhood crush of mine set up herself for accidental rejection on Valentine's day by dropping subtle hints on an oblivious young me.
MinamoAcademy: A minute of silence for our fallen soldier
AcrobaticSource3: Lol, not related to this post, but I always thought “fallen soldier” was a euphemism for a dick that lost its hardness due to lack of action, and didn’t get to ejaculate
ZirePhiinix: Bro, you need to watch less porn.
AcrobaticSource3: Make me
ZirePhiinix: HAHAHAHA... This is gold! You do you bro.
| 6 | 8.166667 | |
1658273484 | 1658316716 | t3_w36wpk | t5_2to41 | 6 | BleeboBlop: TIFU by allowing a scammer to blackmail me with fake nudes.
I (17m) added a random girl on snap chat, she asked for my Instagram and ended up following me, if "she" even is a she anyways,, repeatedly asked for dick pics and sexting, to which I refused, so then she put a normal picture of me next to a picture of a penis, saying that it was mine(which it isn't), and threatened to send it to my friends and followers if I didn't pay her 200$ and shortly after reduced it to 50$ (desperate I guess?).
I freaked out and first said that I can't send anything because I have no bank account or money but then decided to just block them on all accounts, I also put a story that there was a fake account spreading a fake image.
Now here are a few problems, I'm afraid they already sent something or will be back and threaten me again, I was already embarrassed because the story might make it seem like I'm just denying it, they also made fake threats like telling the police because they're a minor, at first she said she was 18 and I also said I was 18 even tho I was 17, and I never sent a pic in the first place.
I have become paranoid since, I changed my username, I privated my Facebook account, it made me feel so stressed out about how easily my life could be ruined without doing anything, how a person can crop a random dick and pretend it's mine and try to spread it around and blackmail me and accuse me.
I asked a friend and they say nothing has been sent, I'm afraid that this person won't leave me alone or that somebody has already received it, I have been very stressed and paranoid since then, this person lives in another continent, so I really can't do anything about it. I haven't heard from this person since blocking and most likely nothing has been sent, even though they said they had screenshoes of my followers, I just stay paranoid and the thoughts in my head leave me on edge.
TL;DR, I was asked for dick pics, even though I sent nothing I was blackmailed and threatened to pay 200 bucks or they would send a dick pic next to my pic claiming it was mine and I was sending it to a minor.
shadesofwolves: How can they blackmail you when they have literally nothing on you? Just ignore them.
BleeboBlop: That's what I thought, until they put a random dick next to my image and threatened to send it to my friends. I did end up blocking them.
shadesofwolves: And at that point, they'd be the ones pretending to have an image of a 17 year old's genitals. Even if image *was* of you, they'd be the ones holding it, an under 18 sexual image.
So either way, they've nothing on you.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1658273793 | 1658339631 | t3_w370mt | t5_2to41 | 274 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking one of my dads favourite airsoft guns
[deleted]
bongart: Surprise him. Be honest with him for once. Tell him, before he finds out on his own. Offer to pay for it to get fixed, and offer him what you have.
Don't wait any longer. Every day, is a day he's gonna wonder why you didn't tell him sooner.
He will appreciate the honesty, especially if you feel like you are going to "hell and disappointing your father **again**" He will appreciate the honesty, because this will be something new... you facing up to your responsibilities, instead of trying to hide them.
throwaway398469000: I think I will tell him now it would be better if the weight of this situation would be off of my shoulders
VulgarTheClown: I agree. tell him what happened and that your sorry and that you looked into the cost of fixing it and you'll pay for it but you dont have enough right now. im sure youll be forgiven.
| 4 | 68.5 | |
1658277499 | 1658365988 | t3_w38dmi | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling the guy I'm dating that I love him.
[deleted]
sandbirde: the "love me" sounds like it might have been a typo, but i don't have the full context.
that being said, that response sounds okay to me. he isn't shutting you out or rejecting you. it's casual in tone and it expresses empathy. i'd ask him to clarify his current feelings (yknow, if he's comfortable with that, wants to slow down, whatever), but you guys sound like you have a great connection! don't stress too hard.
CorsicaAqua: He has sent me "i adore you" afew times the first time I said I like you too. The second time i searched up the meaning and it basically said it was another way of saying I love you. I questioned if he knew what it meant and asked him if he wanted to take it back, he said of course I know what it means and I meant it. So with him saying "love me" it didn't accure to me that it could have been a typo. Thank you so much for the advice it means alot !!
3D-Printing: I think he loves you! He just may be a little shy.
CorsicaAqua: We are spending afew nights in a hotel together this Sunday and I have a feeling he is going to tell me that he does then as I did confront him about the "love me" thing and he said it wasn't a typo and he made a sexual remark 😅 "ill have you saying i love you when ....." ( ill leave the rest for your imagination)😅and I replied with I dont think im going to say it again untill I know ill get it back in return because I don't want it to be one sided but there is no rush and he replied with smirky faces.
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1658278625 | 1658300409 | t3_w38rwh | t5_2to41 | 14 | Throwawaypawgywife: TIFU by turning my aunt into salma hayek
So my aunt was a wonderful person. Brilliant, smart, and incredibly funny. She was (like my mom) the fiery latina type, never scared to go to bat for what is right and wo is wronged. I remember gong to visit her for one christmas (she lived in spain) and I was sad about my then boyfriend- now husband dumping me. She was making biscuits (cookies? idk how you call them) and smacked my head with the back of a rolling pin. She said in broken english "we no cry about boys. Cry again and me hit you again. We strong women who fight goats barehand. " She was a walking meme and her husband was the absolute saint that kept her from going nuts at people. They were the perfect equilibrium and I miss them dearly.
So now onto the fuckup. I will stay purpusely vague because otherwise they will be very easy to identify, having been on the news and all. A few years back, my aunt, her husband and two of their three daughters met a tragic death. We mourned them for a long time, and really their whole village was struck with greif as it was a small town and they ran a pretty well known hotel.
A few years afterwards, my mom was digging throught her photo albums and found an old picture of auntie, looking absolutely stunning. Her sister decided to make a post on facebook (when it was still alive haha) saying how it has been a few years and everyone still misses her bla bla bla. And then people started pointing out in the comments how she looks soo much like young salma hayek. People were saying there's no way it was her (she got skinnier and older since the picture) and she looks absolutely stunning and like salma hayek's twin. We obviously knew of the similarity, but we thought it was funny people were getting so fired up in the comments.
Well tonight i digged the photo back up to look at it and remembering the whole story, went to check on pics of young salma hayek. And there was my aunt ! pinned on pinterest as young salma hayek. I went down the internet rabit hole and found out a facebook page had published it years ago claiming it WAS salma hayek, and people ofc believed it. Hilarious, am I right?
TL;DR: Published a picture of my aunt who looks exactly like salma hayek. The internet now claims it's the real salma. Can't argue with the internet .
seylavee: Now i'm googling for photos of Salma that do not look like her. Is this it?
https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2F64.media.tumblr.com%2F2e3613938528a8a2ea87c2f802741a61%2Ftumblr_pgy19tJQy21rkmsyao1_1280.jpg&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fstmrzz.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F630513450532093952%2Fyoung-salma-hayek&tbnid=niyhyHH9Pd1yxM&vet=1&docid=bckergN2zG-9fM&w=750&h=713&source=sh%2Fx%2Fim
Rebeeroo: This link just goes to a whole bunch of pictures of her (the actress).
seylavee: Whoops...updated.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1658278903 | 1658287896 | t3_w38vkb | t5_2to41 | 483 | Flyingfuckware: TIFU by not listening to my husband.
So my husband was on his way home from work today and the man said he’s starving, so i start chopping veggies in a hurry to make hot pot with. He had initially asked to pick food up which I adamantly pulled the old “we got food at home,” He gets home and our meal is going splendid considering he wanted a burger instead! I truly thought I’d outdone myself- but when I pick up my spoon to take another bite of my tofu, there’s a caterpillar smack dab in the fucking middle of my spoon.
I almost ate a caterpillar. I sent myself into full hysterics mode (thanks, health anxiety) and immediately called poison control to make sure I didn’t just poison my husband and I, to which the operator had a good healthy chuckle. Fml.
TL;DR listen to your spouse. Wash your vegetables. I almost ate a worm.
apexncgeek: I have literally never heard a woman say that before.
Flyingfuckware: Todays your lucky day. I should’ve listened. I may put my pride aside and listen more.
apexncgeek: Lol
Cheeseburgers are never a bad idea
Der_andere_Baron: Fuckin Randy.
apexncgeek: Frig off Ricky
Der_andere_Baron: Glad you got it lol.
apexncgeek: Huge huge tpb fan. I've watched every single thing they've made three or four times now. was literally leaving a comment about some guy looking like bubbles when you left this comment.
Der_andere_Baron: 😂 awesome
| 9 | 53.666667 | |
1658279948 | 1658353847 | t3_w398jj | t5_2to41 | 22 | verba_antiqua_amo: TIFU by spraying menstrual blood across someone else's white bathroom
So I 21F have rather heavy periods, and I got tired of blood appearing everywhere, so I got the largest menstrual cup I could find. I was babysitting this kid at their house, and all of a sudden, I realized that a bloodbath was eminent. So I go to empty my cup in their white bathroom with a plush white carpet. The menstrual cup is large and I am not, so it kinda popped out of me, launching blood across the bathroom. The wall, the toilet, the carpet, everywhere. I kinda cried. To make it worse, my menstrual cup fell in the toilet. I washed it best I could, but the thing needed to be boiled. Then I tried my fucking best to try and make it look like no one had been murdered in their white now with red splotches bathroom. Every time I thought I got it all, I would notice another splotch. And their poor carpet. I got all the blood out, but someone is going to walk in and be like, why the fuck is the carpet wet. I swear, your toddler who is being potty trained did not pee on it. I swear it is fine. Don't ask. Now I am just crossing my fingers that I won't get a yeast infection.
TL:DR Had a menstrual cup disaster and sprayed blood all over some poor family's bathroom
Defenestresque: >And their poor carpet. I got all the blood out, but someone is going to walk in and be like, why the fuck is the carpet wet.
How the hell did you manage to get blood out of a white carpet so it's not noticeable that quickly? Bleach? H2O2?
Don't feel too bad. You handled it like a champ and it's likely that the kid's mom will understand.
verba_antiqua_amo: Cold water gets it out pretty well
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1658279579 | 1658314519 | t3_w393xb | t5_2to41 | 42 | Jehovah_thikkness: TIFU by trying anal for the first time; the first time I got drunk...
Story time!! This is embarrassing. So I’ve never been drunk before (I’m 18f), but my boyfriend (19m) has an offered to let me get drunk with his supervision. (He’s super caring so don’t think he’s being creepy lol. I was worried about being stupid since I went balls-to-the-walls nuts when I got my wisdom teeth out) anyways, so we went to his very chill grandparents house, drank like 2 1/2 12% nasty ass Sheetz bootleggers, and I proceeded to down it. My boyfriend also drank a little with me, but wasn’t as drunk as me haha. Anyways, I got pretty fucked up (at least I think idk) and decided I wanted to swim in the pool there. My boyfriend told me I could only if I sat on a floatie, so I did for a while, then when we were done we got out and hopped in the shower together. Now, I was already feeling a little promiscuous before I was hammered, so naturally I wanted some good ol shower sex. After some convincing, my boyfriend and I got it on. THEN, I got bored or something so I asked him if we could try anal. Mind you previously both of us couldn’t bring ourselves to do it cause it’s kinda weird when you think too much about it, lmao. Anyway, the alcohol must have helped with that. So I turned around, place it where it’s supposed to be, and he pushes in. OH MY GAWD. The PAIN. I clenched so hard he couldn’t get it out, and there was this little freak out scenario until I realized I had to relax. After getting it out, I cried a little and he apologized and helped me get dressed and laid down. He told me he felt really bad about trying it when I was drunk, and I assured him it was consensual and I really didn’t mind even though it hurt like a bitch. And THEN, we decide to inspect the damage and his dick is very sore, a bit red, and feels a bruised according to him. So I feel terrible.
After I sobered up, I realized it probably could’ve been avoided with a bit of lube.
TL;DR ~ tried anal the first time I got drunk in my boyfriends shower and man it hurt like a bitch so I clenched down and bruised his dick.
I hope you laugh at this so I can feel better
KalessinDB: **Regular** shower sex is bad because the water washes away your natural lube. Regular anal already requires external lube. That's a double whammy!
Staffregiment: Shut up
| 3 | 14 | |
1658282753 | 1658319602 | t3_w3a7ic | t5_2to41 | 2 | SlowCrates: TIFU by prioritizing work over my health
I work for a small business, they don't provide health insurance, and they have kind of a cutthroat "sick day" policy.
I've had some bad luck with my health lately. In a decade before covid I got the flu 3 times. Well I've either had the flu or something like it 3 times since spring. The first time hit me on a friday, so I was sick all weekend. Called in sick on monday, had tuesday off, came back wednesday still sick, but functional. The next time I got sick was on a monday, ended up missing 3 days that week. A couple weeks ago I had food poisoning/allergies, so I thought I had the flu again, missed one day. When you miss 6 days, your raise ceiling is lowered 25%. You miss 8, it's lowered 50%. You missed 10 in 6 months, you're fired. I was at 5, with 2 months to go.
What happens? I get sick last tuesday. This time it feels like Covid -- the body aches are unbearable. So bad that simply moving my eyes made me flinch. Bad fever. Dry cough. I walked like an elderly person when I needed the bathroom. I missed wednesday and thursday, then I lucked out and got someone to "Take" my shift friday so it only counted as two sick day, bringing me to 7. I took that opportunity to go to urgent care because I wasn't getting better -- I was getting worse. Now in addition to fever, my head is killing me. It was getting difficult to eat. At urgent care, a bright eyed and bushy tailed physician's assistant suggested allergy medication and ibuprophen. I told her I felt the same kind of discomfort as I did when I had a sinus infection after covid a couple years ago. She said the allergy medication should prevent me from needing antibiotics. Okay, sure, I'll give it a shot.
I pretty much lay in bed all weekend, sticking to a regular schedule of taking these supplements, and I DO start to feel a little better. I think I'm finally coming out of it, so I tell my bosses, who were frustrated with my recent health issues. They're stoked I'm coming back on monday. Well monday is 100 degrees and my job is extremely physically demanding. I push through it the best I can. I get through the day. I get home.
If you've ever exhausted yourself like that while sick, you might know the horrific drop in comfort you have immediately afterward. It's as if I had no energy left for basic life support systems. Everything started to hurt. My sinuses flared up. My head was spinning. Fever came roaring back. My head hurt so bad I heard my voice whimper when I wasn't trying. Luckily I had today off work so I used that time to contact my primary care team and told them the situation. Did one of those e-visit things, and a doctor sent a prescription of antibiotics to the pharmacy.
But they also told me I needed to rest. I didn't even acknowledge that, because I was so focused on not losing my job, I just wanted to shovel pills in my mouth, go to sleep, and wake up ready to get back at it. Not because I WANTED to, because I HAD to. But I did tell me bosses that while I am willing to work if I'm needed, they recommended that I REST. They tell me to check in with them in the evening/morning to let them know how they're doing. But when I looked at the schedule, they had me scheduled for a longer than usual day. Also, rather than going straight to the job site, or straight home from a job site, I would have to go to the office before and after going to the job sites -- carrying equipment up and down a flight of stairs due to a coworker having lost their license and needing to car pool. (Normally we either pick up or drop off). So I asked my bosses if they could play with the schedule giving me a regular amount of work rather than extra work, and I also suggested maybe it wasn't a good idea to car pool with a healthy person right now. (I mean, it's common sense, right?) So they responded with the most dry "Stay home tomorrow. We'll figure it out."
So now, in addition to making myself sicker for work, my vague attempts at looking out for myself have put my livelihood in jeopardy. I'm probably going to get fired.
tl;dr: Didn't listen to my doctor's recommendation to rest, got sicker, work is still pissed off that I mentioned needing rest. Probably going to get fired.
atlcog: Are you in the US?
SlowCrates: I am, indeed.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1658284168 | 1658372497 | t3_w3aphw | t5_2to41 | 13,356 | ThunderTRP: TIFU by logging back into my old NSFW twitter account
[removed]
rhomerman5: Wait he’s your best friend and you haven’t seen his dick? I question just how close y’all are.
Please_Not__Again: I have not seen any of my close friend's dicks and they have not seen mine ....
rhomerman5: You’re not real best friends until you’ve seen each other’s dicks. Although maybe nudity is more likely in my friend group
Please_Not__Again: But like, I haven't ever sought their dicks out and neither have they. If any chance arose I'd look away as that ain't something I am curious about
forbins: You need better friends.
Please_Not__Again: I'll take that in jest but did you spy on your friends to see them naked? Did you go skinny dipping? Did they change in front of you? I'm genuinely curious what situations you got yourself into that said "Yep, that is my friend's dick"
forbins: Idk man. Locker rooms, sleep overs. Then college roommates. But mostly drunk shenanigans.
rhomerman5: 100% drunk shenanigans! But other just random situations. Ever had a Texas belt buckle sprung on you? Also this one time my best friend was legit concerned with some bumps on his balls so me being the good friend that I am took a genuine concerned look at his balls and told him his hair follicles were nothing to be concerned about lmao. You might also know that my best friend is nicknamed my husband and was given that nick name by my wife.
forbins: Lol. What’s the Texas belt buckle?
rhomerman5: Apparently it’s managing to pull your testicles and only your testicles out of your pants hanging over your belt buckle. Makes for a decent distraction during beer pong
forbins: Sounds like below the belt bangs.
rhomerman5: Could very well be the same thing with a different name
forbins: No i just made that up
rhomerman5: Lol
forbins: Lol
| 16 | 834.75 | |
1658278313 | 1658291362 | t3_w38nz0 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Parker_Salem: TIFU by being indecisive
A few days ago my (nonbinary 16) close childhood friend told me that he had feelings for me. I of course was shell shocked, I had feelings for him a while but but he has a partner so I moved on and have even had my friends start setting me up on blind dates. While I was in my home state last week he asked me to come over and revealed to me that he is poly and has feeling for me, he hadn't told me but he had two partners all along. I asked him to give me time to sort out my feelings and he gave me that time.
Two days ago I came home to the state I live in now and he asked for a response. I still didn't have one and asked for a little more time, which he gave me. I have had my mind so fixed on this tht I have genuinely been worrying my friends because, I the usually talkative down to earth friend had not said a word as they talked, whenever they asked about the trip I would choke up and refuse to say more than it was fun. I still talked to him every day but he refused to say a word without me starting the conversation and I stayed heavily away from the topic of if I like him.
Today I sat and genuinely gave myself time to consider every detail, from whether I would want to be in a poly relationship to all of our history together. I decided that I in fact would like to give it a shot, I typed out the text about it but right before I could send it I received this text. "Hey about earlier i just wasn't excepting a more relationships i just was dying to tell you and it hurts keeping it inside but i meant everything but i really would like to stay friends i talked to my partner about it neither of us are looking for more people thank you for everything it means a lot ❤️" (I apologize for his atrocious spelling, punctuation, and generalized grammer that was copy and pasted) I deleted everything I had written out and simply said, "Yeah dude it's fine of course we are still friends".
I feel like there is a stone in my chest, I wish I wasn't so indecisive especially because I have the feeling that he simply said that because he had some of my friends here text him asking why I wasn't talking and choked up when asked about the trip. I know I placed myself into this situation and it's my fault but I feel like I can't breathe, my anxiety is so fucking endlessly high, I feel as though I just fucked myself over on so many levels and I wish that I would have come to a conclusion sooner.
TL;DR: I was indecisive and accidentally caused the boy who I have feelings for to decide to just stay friends
Dark_Jester: "No worries, of course we're still friends. And hey, if you ever are looking for more partners, I don't mind giving it a shot."
Parker_Salem: He knows I am way to anxious and formal to say something like that
Dark_Jester: Their perception of you does not prevent you from saying something. If this is what you want, write it in your own words, and let him know. Otherwise, he may just assume you are never interested. It's entirely up to you what you decide to do though.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1658286060 | 1658321458 | t3_w3bd2t | t5_2to41 | 20 | Available_Repair609: TIFU by going 11 years deep in my wife’s Facebook messages…
I’m drunk and my wife left me in charge of her phone before she has to wake up for work to see if anyone messages her from work. For some reason I decided to see if anyones been messaging her of FB. Well, that turned into me starting from the beginning of her FB time, about a year before we met. She was 16 at the time and I’m mentally fucked up from reading some conversations.
There’s a whole slew of things from random adds from guys telling her she’s hot, her giving her phone number to peoples she never really had any contact with, to flirty leading on text messages from her, her planning meet ups with guys she’s barely talked to, her talking to 20+ year olds when she was 16. I went through pretty much ever emotion you could think off, I laughed, I cried, I got pissed off, I was happy, and now I have all this noodling around in my brain not knowing how to feel and I have a migraine and can’t sleep.
She now, 11 years later, doesn’t seem like the innocent church girl I met and I’m pretty sure I didn’t take her virginity even through she tells me I did.
I love her and this doesn’t change anything at all, but I feel like I was duped.
TLDR: I snooped 11 years back on my wife’s Facebook and found a different person then who I started dating and now I have a head ache.
NostradaMart: she trusted you with her phone. hope she dumps you as soon as she wakes up, dimwit.
Available_Repair609: Listen, we’ve been together for 10’yesrs married for 5. She’s not “breaking up with me”, A, it’s a little more difficult than that, B, she’s an adult and wouldent give a fuck. Thanks for your input though.
NostradaMart: if you think she doesn't give a fuck about her privacy, you'll be the one surprised ;)
Available_Repair609: I’ll debate there’s no privacy in marriage, then I’ll double down and say that if I asked her to show or tell me she would have.
NostradaMart: Reading behind her back and asking to be shown are not the same things.
Available_Repair609: So, you’re not my wife, and you’re not part of this marriage, I think I know how my wife would react better than you would
NostradaMart: and yet...you look angry at what I say...truth hurts a little ?
| 8 | 2.5 | |
1658292005 | 1658370377 | t3_w3db0j | t5_2to41 | -2 | Username_WS: TIFU by being dumb during a relationship/breakup
The breakup did not happen today, but in March; however, it still affects me today. As for the background, this was my first relationship. It was between me (16m) and my then girlfriend (15f). There are many f*ck ups to my story.
The first of many mistakes was my ignoring of obvious signs. My downfall starts with falling in love. We would talk for hours about anything and everything. I loved it and she did too. But I start to notice things. She would always smile when she would see me, however, she stopped she would just keep a straight face and look away from me. I brushed this off as me being paranoid. However, our conversations got more and more one-sided with me being the dominant talker. She stopped responding with interest and instead responded with just acknowledgement. I also ignored this.
My second mistake comes directly after the first. I was on my phone looking something up when I get a text notification from her. The preview reads, “I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks…” At this moment I knew she was breaking up with me. My heart sank as I read her reasoning.
It roughly went, “I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks, I’m breaking up with you. Some of the things you do make me uncomfortable and I can’t take it anymore. I should have gotten to know you better before we started dating”
I could only think to say one thing, “Ok. I wish you the best.” My response has haunted me for months. I think it was one of the dumbest things I could have said.
Third mistake happened before the first. I kept jokingly pressuring her to take the classes I was going to take. I think I had her convinced to take some of them. Now I’m worried that I’m going to be in the same room as her for an entire year.
My fourth mistake was deleting our text messages, so now I cannot possibly find out what I did to make her uncomfortable (because I still don’t know what tf I did) without talking to her.
This brings us to now. I don’t know if I should ask her what I did to make her break up with me or what. So I guess just wish me luck.
TL;DR: I was in a relationship until I was broken up with because I “made her uncomfortable.” This led me to respond in the moment without knowing what I did wrong. I then deleted our texts giving me no way to find out without talking to her. And now with school in August I’m scared that I’m going to spend an entire year with someone who I’d wager doesn’t like me too much.
onebadmex66: You just admitted how you ruined your relationship. You had her convinced (almost) to take all the same classes you were in. You sound very controlling and “wishing her the best” was the only smart thing you did. Now leave her alone and get some psychological help because your idea of a relationship is serial killer fucking creepy.
Skippy1221: LOL you havent been around much if you think a teenager convincing his gf to take the same classes is "serial killer fucking creepy".
onebadmex66: Uh huh. You do you Bundy Ramirez Dahmer.
| 4 | -0.5 | |
1658294014 | 1658305546 | t3_w3dxdl | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: Tifu by agreeing to a talent show before knowing the details
[deleted]
Crosshairqueen: Didn’t you already post this?
Lumpy_Radish_2489: Could’ve sworn I read this a few weeks ago!
Crosshairqueen: Me too! Except I don’t think the gender was revealed?
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1658292406 | 1658330132 | t3_w3dfk5 | t5_2to41 | 51 | djerej: TIFU by drugging my mom by accident
Well, this happened just now. My mom got out of the hospital yesterday after she had surgery on her foot. She can't walk yet and got somewhat strong pain.
She just asked me to give her one pain pill from the kitchen, and as I looked around, there was only one pack of painkillers. I asked her if that are the right ones, and she nodded. So I gave her the pill with a glass of water.
Well, it turns out that I just gave my mom a 40 mg pill of oxycodone from my stepfather, who is terminally ill. Since she is somewhat overweight, it should definitely not kill her, but I rly can't get over the fact that i gave my mom opioids.
She said I should not worry since she told me that the pill I gave her is the right one and that she feels only warm and cozy right now. I hope that she will just have a nice day and will sleep very hard later.
TL;DR: I gave my mom a strong opioid after she asked me to give her one of the pain pills from the kitchen.
piefanart: call the doctor to double check that shes okay to have that in her system.
djerej: Good Idea, I just did that, and she told me that it should not be a big deal, she just should stay in bed and to drink some water every hour. What a relief.
jackieblueideas: I was going to say to give her water. It might help with the hangover later.
| 4 | 12.75 | |
1658294674 | 1658296192 | t3_w3e47j | t5_2to41 | 8 | DarthNirnroot: TIFU by not wearing gloves. A cautionary tale 🙃
Cautionary story time:
When cooking with peppers and or chili paste, WEAR GLOVES! 🧤
I made enchiladas for dinner tonight and in my recipe it called for poblano peppers and chili paste. I didn't bother wearing gloves and about halfway through making said enchiladas my hands started to feel like they were on fire. 🔥🔥🔥 I tried washing my hands with cold water multiple times. That didn't help. Panicking I turned to Google and it said to wash my hands with hot water and dish soap, coat with vegetable oil, and wash again. Washing with hot water was like washing with hot lava. 🌋 😭 (I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy) This worked for about 5 minutes and yet the burning persisted.🔥🔥🔥
Once again I turned to Google and it suggested soaking my hands in milk. Because I'm lactose intolerant (oat milk doesn't have the ingredient I needed) I don't have any actual milk in my apartment so in my panic and pain I went to my neighbor's apartment and ask if they had any milk. Bless my neighbor for she had milk.🥛
The only thing helping my burning hands at the moment is soaking them in milk and letting it dry on my hands. My hands smell like rotten milk and I am traumatized lol. WEAR GLOVES YALL 🙃
Enchiladas turned out BOMB tho 🤤
TL;DR: I didn't wear gloves while handling peppers and chili paste so my hands were on fire. The only thing that helped was soaking them in milk and now my hands smell like sour milk
Aran33: Are you sure they were poblano peppers? How spicy was that chili paste, because poblanos are like slightly over-caffeinated green bell peppers. Either the paste or maybe some kind of allergy/irritation level?
DarthNirnroot: Yes they were poblano peppers and it was ancho chili paste
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1658296312 | 1658336300 | t3_w3el4m | t5_2to41 | 132 | Mukhrizthedodo: TIFU by not locking my door
This happened not more than 20 minutes from me making this post
I'm feeling a little under the weather, didn't go to school because of it, and decided "My mom's at work, I could use this as a chance to rub one out"
So in the midst of my session, right before I climaxed, I hear a knock on the door. My instinct kicks in, and I pull my shorts up, but couldn't get them up all the way because the chair I'm sitting on was obstructing the motion. Before I even had a chance to say anything, the door swings open.
My mom asks "Are you masturbating?"
Up until this moment I'd never been caught in the act. I thought about how I could respond to this question bestowed upon me, and the only thing in that I could answer in that moment, was a single syllable
"ya" I responded, utterly defeated.
She then speaks to me with the door slightly ajar, as if it would make a difference in the current situation. Clearly she wasn't expecting that response. She too, had panicked and was stuttering at almost every sentence she said after, asking if I'd wanted food, as she was about to order some.
My relationship with my mother even before hand was not exactly the best, we'd been having moral conflicts about past trauma, and how I'd been dealing with it, and this is certainly NOT the way I'd like to be seen by her at any point in time
​
TL;DR: Mother walked in on me slapping the sausage, now more awkward than ever
OmnipotentHype: >My mom asks "Are you masturbating?"
Should have answered "Who the fuck starts off a conversation like that? You *just* walked in here!"
Mukhrizthedodo: PLEASE I WAS SHOOK TOO MAN
BombeBon: Shocked... you were shocked... or surprised
| 4 | 33 | |
1658296509 | 1658320883 | t3_w3en5u | t5_2to41 | 28 | EpicManiac: TIFU by referring to a video game boss as “Grandpa” right before my actual grandpa passed away
To preface, this was a FU that happened a few months ago that finally caught up to me last week. I’m still a bit emotionally drained from my grandpas passing, but I figured it was rather funny in hindsight, so I figured I’d post about it as a way to feel better about it all.
I’ve been playing this one MMO for years (FFXIV), and in the game there’s an insanely difficult superboss that takes hundreds of hours of coordination, skill, effort, and a good mindset to beat. It’s a 20 minute long fight where you and 7 other human players can’t make a single mistake in execution, or else you have to restart it. Because of its difficulty, I set aside several hours a night fighting it, like training for a triathlon but more dorky. Because I set aside so much of my free time, all of my friends know about it since I barely have time to hang out with them anymore until it’s dead. Thankfully they’re super understanding and very supportive of this endeavor of mine.
The boss also happens to be a VERY old man. Because the boss is an old man, I decided to call him ‘grandpa’ whenever I referred to him to my friends. They’ve even started doing it too! Conversations about him go like this:
“Hey man, wanna come over tonight?” “Can’t, I have to fight grandpa.”
“How far are you in killing grandpa?”
“We’re almost there! He’ll he dead in no time!”
I actually got so used to calling him that that I actually started saying it to friends who DIDN’T know what I was referring to, resulting in them being very confused when I said I had to go “stab grandpa in the face” or “go to the nursing home to kill grandpa” or whatever other line I wanted to use when referring to the boss. To be honest, it was hilarious... at the time. Ok, well, it still is. Just maybe not in this context.
A few weeks ago, I got word that my *actual* grandfather was in horrid health and expecting to die very soon. Just last week, he passed. You can probably tell why this is a FU by now. After the initial shock and grief, I told my friends “My grandpa died” (over text, so no voice inflection to clue in my seriousness) and rather than condolences, they *lost it.* They laughed and cheered and said to me me “You finally did it???” And “No way!”. I was very confused before realizing what just happened. I then had to sour the mood by informing them that it was my actual grandpa who had passed, not the boss.
The chat went completely silent. No one said anything for at least 20 seconds, followed by the simple notification of “multiple people are typing...”. My friends started fiercely apologizing, but I just laughed it off. Obviously it wasn’t their fault, I could have just as easily mentioned it was my actual grandpa and not the boss, but in my defense I wasn’t exactly thinking about the game in that moment.
Overall, this was definitely a fuck up, but I do still think it’s pretty funny. My grandpa was a wonderful man, and I feel like my only actual FU was not getting to see him more often before his passing. Also, I can’t really fight the boss without being reminded of my real granpda. Considering I need total concentration during the fight, that doesn’t do me any favors. But if you spin it a more positive way, I guess this means I can see him whenever I want to, even if he’s the villain I’m fighting. Grandpa was always a good actor! Whenever he finally does go down, I’ll honor it to you gramps. I miss you.
Tl;dr referred to a video game boss as grandpa to my friends for 2 months, when my actual grandpa died everyone thought I had finally beaten the boss instead of my real grandpa actually passing away.
SomaFarkreath: ramuh extreme im assuming? yea fuck that trial sorry for your loss tho
EpicManiac: Dragonsong Ultimate, the old man is Thordan lmao
| 3 | 9.333333 | |
1658303614 | 1658307023 | t3_w3gl42 | t5_2to41 | 2 | shit_at_mtb: TIFU by telling my whole year that someone left when they didn't.
It all started when my friend who I'll call "Hank" said he hated our school. He said he was going to leave the school at the end of the year. This is important for later. Over the course of the next few months he kept mentioning that he hated the school and he wanted to leave next semester. Then the semester ended and I went on holidays for 2 weeks.
I got back to school today and the night before a friend told me Hank had left the school. I had heard from a friend that Hank had left the school and I thought it was true. So when the teacher was asking where Hank was I said "Oh he left." I said this to every teacher I had today that asked about it. I then proceeded to go on about my day. I had essentially spread the news around the entire year group that Hank was gone. Some of the teachers changed groups and such because of it. I have made a mess with this situation.
I don't know what he's gonna do about it when he comes back. He was just sick with COVID and I feel like I'm drowning. He's gonna be so angry about it so yeah I'm fucked.
TL;DR I told my whole school year someone left when they didn't and then the teachers changed all sorts of thing like seating plans assessment groups and all the stuff he was involved in. I have fucked up big time.
​
Edit: fixed a stupid oversight (instead if saying "A friend told me Hank had left the school" I wrote "the night before Hank left the school"
icedtea4all: It's honestly small beans on your part. The teachers probably should've verified with the school admin if he really left. Plus, if he wasn't so negative all the time, you probably wouldn't have been so quick go believe it either, right? Hank and the teachers are the main mistake-makers of this story 🤷♀️
armyfreak42: I'll give you this, you're a gold medalist at mental gymnastics.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1658304705 | 1658305513 | t3_w3gvcl | t5_2to41 | 0 | piatsathunderhorn: TIFU by getting sick
TIFU by getting sick.
Sorry for weird formatting I'm posting from my phone.
Today was supposed to be my girlfriends graduation ceremony but I woke up feeling like shit (common cold I'll be fine) and she decided she wants to stay and take care of me instead of going without me, but I can see in her eyes how sad this makes her. I feel so fucking terrible that I couldn't just suck it up and go. She keeps saying it doesn't matter and it's not my fault but she's fighting back tears, I feel like such a selfish dick. I took some medicine and said I could go but it's already too late if we left now we'd miss the ceremony. I'm now lying next her in bed and we're both trying not to cry.
That's all there is to say but I haven't hit the minimum character limit yet sooooooo character count character count character count.
TL;DR my garbage immune system ruined my girlfriends graduation because I can't go and she really wanted me to go with her.
Buderus69: Why did she have to stay to take care of you? It's the common cold not space-aids, I don't get it.
piatsathunderhorn: Because she wants to make sure I'm okay because she loves me, and she wanted me at her graduation with her. So now that I can't do that she said she would rather take care of me then go without me. But it is clear she really wanted to go.
| 3 | 0 | |
1658304643 | 1658365081 | t3_w3gus1 | t5_2to41 | 37 | FlashWayneArrow02: TIFU by not knowing that region locks on games still exist
I have a British PS5 with a British PlayStation account, but I keep buying a shit ton of games from GameStop when I visit my parents in America. The discs always work fine when I insert them into my PS5, and I never bought any DLC for them, so I never knew that your DLC has to match the region of your disc.
Well this morning, after spending 30 minutes staring at the ceiling, I said fuck it and spent 20 quid and bought the Dark Souls 3 Season Pass for a copy of DS3 I acquired for seven bucks at GameStop. I let it download onto my PS5, then came back to check if it works.
It didn’t. But Twitter was blowing up saying that PlayStation servers were down, so I figured it was a connection issue. I went away and came back later to the same issue.
After posting on Reddit, I found out that the region has to match on the disc and the account. I couldn’t believe it at first, until I stuck in my Chinese copy of Bloodborne, and saw that the Old Hunters purchased on my British account doesn’t show up on it. (The Bloodborne disc was a gift but I already had access to it through PS Plus, so I never used the disc).
So, unless some Sony employee shows sympathy for me, I’m out 20 quid for no reason. My only options are to buy the Season Pass again on an American account, or to buy an European copy of Dark Souls 3, either digital or disc.
What’s even worse is that since I barely use my PS Plus catalogue and don’t plan to resubscribe to it, if I ever wanna play the Old Hunters DLC again, I either have to purchase it on an Asian account, or buy the Bloodborne base game again on my existing British account.
I get why region locks exist, but it’s also very fucking inconvenient. Especially since my friends choose to gift each other games, and they could be bringing them from anywhere, China, India, America, Australia, Germany, and mismatching DLC purchases would basically mean wasting money.
Also, Sony, please label your goddamn discs more clearly for regional restrictions. My Chinese Bloodborne uses a different age rating system to my Indian Cyberpunk copy, but they’re both locked to Asia.
TLDR: I thought you could put UK DLC on an American Dark Souls 3 disc and wasted 20 quid.
AZymph: Theres honestly no reason to have region locked disks in the modern era. Since most games need a day 1 patch anyway, that's where the region differences should be applied.
ZirePhiinix: The reason is to get more money.
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1658307449 | 1658349159 | t3_w3hk2c | t5_2to41 | 648 | DankAssPotatos: TIFU by rolling my car 5 times to avoid hitting a squirrel
Obligatory this was Sunday afternoon, not today.
So I drive (drove) a 2004 Ford Expedition. It was my first car, my dad gave it to me when I turned 18. I'm 20 now, and I've avoided getting in accidents since I got my license. I'm usually a pretty safe driver, but I was a little bit distracted that day.
I was off work Sunday because I had been out late the night before and knew I wouldn't feel like going to work that day. So I woke up early and started my day by playing some video games. Around 1 o'clock, I'm getting thirsty so I decide to head to a nearby gas station. Needed gas for work the next day anyway, so I go buy a drink and use my last $30 to get about a quarter of a tank. It's only about 3 miles from my house, but most of the distance is on a rural highway.
I get the gas and drink no problem, and I'm about halfway home when something bad happens. I had looked awya from the road for just a second to pick up my drink and take a sip. When I look back up, something small and fast is darting right in front of my car. I didn't know what the fuck it was and it caught me off guard, so I quickly swerve to the right to avoid it. Of course, when you're going 45 miles per hour in a big SUV, fast turns are bad. So I quickly try to correct back left to avoid running off the road. Bad move. I overcorrect and spin out. The last thing I remember clearly is hearing my tires squeal and feeling the car spinning out. I remember thinking "god, I really hope I don't flip". Next thing I know, the back left tires gets caught in the mud on the side of the road and sends the whole thing airborne. I flew for about 10 to 15 feet before hitting the ground. All told, the car flipped about five times, which is the estimate a cop who happened to be coming my way when I crashed gave.
I wasn't wearing a seatbelt at the time because it was just right down the road from my house. I got tossed around and ended up sitting on the backrest of the passenger seat. I'm a bigger dude so I was stuck in the car for about half an hour while they cut open a portion of the roof to get me out. All told, I was remarkably uninjured. I have a few bruises and scrapes, a cut on my foot, and got a fishing hook stuck in my head, but I made it out alive and intact, with no major injuries. Worst part is that now I don't have a car, and trying to buy one on a fast food salary isn't very easy.
Craziest part is that my dad and uncle were randomly coming to the same store right after I wrecked and came across my car. They were freaking out, but I was telling them I was fine. There's pictures of me stuck in the car smiling, with blood all over my leg lol.
Still, me and the squirrel both made it. Next time I'm just gonna run it over though. It'd save me a lot of trouble.
TL;DR: To avoid killing an innocent squirrel, I flipped my SUV 5 times and walked away more or less unscathed.
cutiestnoodle: I mean I cried when I thought I hit a raccoon and im still traumatized, I'd do the same but instead I'd be happy i got hurt instead of the animal. I can't have a dead lil bb on my conscious
-Raskyl: So..... do you own a cat? If so.... there are most likely a lot of dead babies that you are indirectly, directly responsible for.
cutiestnoodle: I own two, they're indoor cats.
Why so critical?
Just bc I'd be more willing to hurt myself than an animal whys that bother you?
-Raskyl: Because choosing to total your car and possibly injure others or cause massive amounts of property damage in order to avoid "dead bb's" on your conscience is dumb, if they arent human. And there are most likely already hundreds if not thousands of creatures that you are responsible for killing. Because we're human, and that's what we do. Stepping on them, littering objects that choke birds, eating animals, feeding them to our cats, etc. We kill things.
cutiestnoodle: Idk why you're so mad bro, im just saying if it was me or animal I choose animal. That choice isn't right for everyone and I respect that but it is for me. I'm not saying I'd kill someone to save an animal, just me.
You sound like someone who swerves into them just bc "lol theres so many of them anyways". Plus how much do you litter and feed animals to your cats? That's kinda fucked
If your cat caught and ate that's one thing but your phrasing makes it sound like you're deliberately killing animals and just feeding it to your cat. You know you can just buy cat food
-Raskyl: Lol, im not mad, i just think its dumb. And your assuming an awful lot, and it sounds like your the one that is mad. Projecting that i try to run over animals, etc. Sorry if the reality of you having been directly responsible for the deaths of tons of living creatures hurts, but it doesnt make it not a thing. Do you not feed your cats cat food? Because you guessed it. It contains the remains of animals.
cutiestnoodle: I'm just confused about why my personal choice annoys you so much. There are times when there's nothing you can do but if there is I'm gonna do it. It's just me. You don't have to agree but it's the way I choose to live
-Raskyl: Your personal choice to swerve for a squirrel could put you through someone's house, crushing their young child that was sleeping in a crib against the wall your SUV just plowed through because you didn't want to be responsible for running over a squirrel. It's happened more than once, just in america, let alone the rest of the world. That's why it upsets me. I've actually seen it happen in my home town. Someone swerved to avoid a cat, ran through a fence, across a yard that had children actively playing in it. And then smashed right through the wall and into this families living room. Tens of thousands in damages and could have easily killed someone. All to avoid a cat. It's fucking stupid.
cutiestnoodle: There it is
1. You shouldn't* be driving that fast in a residential area
2. Where I live most travel is back roads that practically no one lives on, and if they do its miles off the road.
If someone did that, I agree that's fucked. But in the middle of no where where I live it's not an issue if you're going the speed limit.
Like I said in this very situation it's me OR animal. Which where I live is very possible situation. Not driving through someone's house. Which again is insane. In that situation I would say there's nothing you can do, hit the cat and pay your respects and take it off the road. It breaks my heart but it was the most rational decision to make there, in my opinion.
-Raskyl: "There it is" ??? There is what, a valid reason to *not* drive how you think you should?
Also,
1. Not everyone lives in suburban neighborhoods with children at play signs and 25mph speed limits. There are tons of homes along 55 and 45 and 35 mph roads, tons of them.
2. Just because it's not likely to happen most of the time, doesn't mean it won't happen. Also, if your mindset is "it's fine, it won't happen" that's super dangerous because it does not allow for the fact that it can happen.
And you don't usually get to make an actual decision in these instances. You don't get to go "oh, a critter in the road, let me look and make sure it's completely safe for me to swerve and avoid it, ok, I looked left, and right, ahead of me, and behind me, were good, I can swerve".
No, just no, that is not how it works, people react instinctively in situations like this. And you seem to be actively programming your instincts to swerve. That is dangerous.
vancityvapers: You can argue until you're blue in the face, it's a waste of time. Some people, when rejected or hurt by people develop an unnatural relationship with animals.
You are 100% right, they are willing to endanger other peoples lives to save a squirrel or raccoon, but for everything you point out, they will have a reason it doesn't apply to them.
No point in wasting your time, you aren't dealing with somebody based in reality, you are dealing with somebody controlled by their emotions even when it creates risk for others around them. It is the epitome of selfishness dressed up as empathy.
cutiestnoodle: I'm so confused by this statement, I agree you shouldn't endanger OTHER people to save an animal. I was saying in a situation in the middle of no where, where I live, if it was between me hitting a deer or something or swerve into a ditch and potentially endanger myself I would choose myself.
This person's talking in the city and driving through someone's house. Not the same. At all
vancityvapers: >but for everything you point out, they will have a reason it doesn't apply to them.
You act like you have this master control of your reflexes. You will react based on instinct and how you have trained your brain to act.
It's foolish to think that you have magical control over how you react in an emergency situation. The reason the armed forces, or martial arts training focus so much on repetition is so that when you react to something when your logic and reasoning centers are shut down, is so you make the right call.
What are you going to do when you don't expect anybody to be there, but it turns out somebody was walking on the side of the road in dark clothing to get home, and you swerve to miss a squirrel but end up taking out a 17-year old that had their car break down?
I have lived out in the sticks in Montana, and had to walk the 90 min home 3 times that I can remember. It could never happen to you though, right?
cutiestnoodle: I'm not saying I'm fucking magic. I'm saying in a blank world, there is nothing there, only me and an animal I would chose not to hit it. You're both adding factors that no one was talking about.
I agree that that person shouldn't have drove into another person's house to not hit an animal but where I live if your house is close enough to yhe road where someone could drive into your house from swerving from an animal you should have been driving safer and it's 100% the drivers stupidity and fault.
People park on the road where I live and you can't see around everything perfectly clear, so you have to go slow meaning you have the time to make that choice. Also I know there are times you CANT make that choice and it is what it is, but how you take care of that situation is what matters, IN MY OPINION. Not everything is black and white. When I would drive the back roads more often I would be a little bit more risky but with the knowledge of if something or someone pops out of no where I will do anything to make sure I'm the only one hurt in that situation if need be.
That's all, there is. I'm not pretending I'm a God or have the moral high ground. It's my preference and it's how I chose to live. 🤷♀️
I'm allowed to love animals and respect them, just because you have a different look on it doesn't mean mines wrong
| 15 | 43.2 | |
1658312610 | 1658322572 | t3_w3iw7d | t5_2to41 | 3 | angsty_dude: TIFU for letting a drunk girl post stories on my phone and now basically every girl I know seen me naked
Well not today,but Saturday night. I'm a dude, long story short last night me and a lot of friends had a party going and doing instagram stories and stuff and a girl who is my friend started posting them with my phone. Around midnight went to have a shower to sober up and her and another lady friend(both pretty drunk) entered the bathroom and filmed me for like 15 seconds and put it on my profile's story. They used a "censored sticker" but as you know the sticker is static so while it covered everything for like 3 seconds when I turned around my penis and everything is fully visible for like 10 seconds. Didn't realize this till next morning when I woke up and saw it. Around \~40 girls/women seen the story. Never felt such shame and don't know how to cope. Haven't answered any dms or reactions to the story and thinking about hiding from all social interactions for like a month. Pretty sure screenshots/screen recordings were made
​
Sorry for my english, not my first language
TL;DR Someone didn't know how to use instagram sticker and now everyone seen me naked
NDALLASFORTY: At least now you'll know who likes you for your body, not your mind or spirituality. If you don't get the reactions you expect (when you emerge from wherever), you'll know it's time to hit the gym and maybe invest in some Extenze.
angsty_dude: I don't know what Extenze is but will look into it. Mostly "laughing reactions" because the ones filming were also laughing hysterically..probably the gym is not a bad idea
NDALLASFORTY: I apologize for the rude reply angsty. Ignore the extenze, not worth googling.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1658313213 | 1658491774 | t3_w3j21i | t5_2to41 | 35,792 | Waste-Associate5773: TIFU by asking my friend when her brother was diagnosed with Autism
So I (27f) was chatting with my friend T (23F) over coffee today and she mentioned her brother (14m) I've met her brother a few times, he's a nice kid but socially awkward.
I work in Disability services and her brother has a lot of autistic traits, his mannerisms, he avoids eye contact, he knows a lot about very niche subjects and she's also mentioned how he hates change and needs to be told way in advance if plans change.
So T started talking about her brother and how he is having trouble making friends at school, during the conversation I asked her when he brother was diagnosed with Autism. It was kind of comical how the coffee she was about to drink stilled Infront of her mouth and stared at me.
She paused for a few moments before asking "what do you mean?".
It was my turn to be confused, I said "your brother has autism... Doesn't he?"
She got really quiet and kind of reflective. I sat there nervously, after a while she replied "I've never really thought about it, thats just how he's always been."
The conversation slowed after that and eventually we both left the cafe but I'm confused where to go from here.
It's part of my job description to notice these things, should I have kept my mouth shut or will this not end as badly as I think
TL;DR I asked my friend if her brother was autistic when he isn't
canuck_2022: Sounds like the brother has never been evaluated. She seemed to be really considering what you said. I don't think you messed up here. I think you may have given her food for thought that she is now considering. Many people are diagnosed much later in life because someone else suggested the possibility
raelik777: My wife and I have two autistic children. We were never diagnosed ourselves... but we recognize certain behaviors in our children that we had ourselves, and it became much more apparent after bringing it up with our own parents. People think autism just comes from nowhere, but it doesn't. It is ~~absolutely~~ probably mainly genetic, we've just failed to diagnose it until relatively recently.
EDIT: I figured I'd add this, since there are a few naysayers replying to me in the vein of "no autism gene", which is basically true. However, there are several known genetic mutations that lead to autism (Fragile X syndrome, mutations of the ACTL6B gene in parents who are silent carriers, gene duplication in chromosome 22) and whole-genome studies have been done that indicate that changes areas of noncoding DNA responsible for regulating gene expression lead to structural variations like sequence inversion, deletion, or duplication (such as that in chromosome 22) that are linked to autism. Interestingly, in many of those last cases, it appears that those variations are often inherited from non-autistic fathers. The human genome was only fully sequenced back in 2003, and really that just marked the beginning of our journey to understand the role our genetics play in our biology and neurology.
birdmommy: I agree. Growing up, there was always ‘the weird kid/the kid who was obsessed with <thing>/the antisocial kid’. I suspect some of them would get a diagnosis and some help today.
kniki217: I agree to a point but we shouldn't just assume all weird/shy kids are autistic. I have really bad social anxiety that I have had literally all my life. When I was a kid, I would pretend to be asleep so people wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't order my food until I was 12 and that's only because my mom made me and I had anxiety about it. Once I would get to know someone though, I would open up, talk their ears off, and have normal friendships.
sorashiro1: There's plenty of other things that share symptoms with autism, like adhd for example
allawd: I don't know if there's a study, but those two disorders seem to have more comorbid traits (including non diagnostic criteria) than people realize.
Also, early intervention has been shown to make a huge difference in their adult life. Similarly, life experiences can lead to massively different behaviors as an adult.
TagsMa: So as far as I can work out, the Venn diagram of ASD, ADHD and PTSD is basically one giant circle, with the severity of them all depending on things like brain chemistry and epigenetics.
tiki_riot: Oh def! BPD too, although I wonder if that could actually be an extreme form of PTSD? 🤔
TagsMa: Are you talking about Bipolar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?
Bipolar yes, I can see that as an extreme form of PTSD or c-PTSD, with a genetic component triggered by external forces.
tiki_riot: Borderline, I though Bipolar was BD? Anyway, I’ve seen it suggested that Borderline could be an extreme form of PTSD, which makes sense to me, but there’s so much overlap with so many things & changes in criteria after more research, it’s so interesting!
TagsMa: So from my understanding (and this is dredging up some old research from a good few years ago) while Borderline has a trigger, which is usually trauma but not always, for worsening behavioural patterns, the underlying issues will have been present since birth.
Again it's been a while but from what I read it falls into the same category as things like antisocial personality disorders, so you have a genetic component, an area of damage to the brain and a upbringing or trauma component. You only see the worst of it with all three components present, however with only 2, you will see some elements of it within a person's behaviour over the course of their life.
And that last part is the most important dx criteria. The whole pattern of behaviour over the course of their life up to the point they are investigated by a clinical psychiatrist over around 6-8 months of evaluation.
tiki_riot: That’s really interesting, kind of like it’s laying dormant? So if a person isn’t subjected to traumatic events, they’d be much less likely to trigger the Borderline?
TagsMa: Yeah. But then it's like that with a lot of genes.
Also, BPD is way over diagnosed, usually by a GP, PCP or CPN who sees someone with c-PTSD/PTSD or mania, can't deal with the symptoms and so slaps a BPD label on them to disguise their own inability to help.
tiki_riot: Definitely, especially women
| 15 | 2,386.133333 | |
1658313369 | 1658319546 | t3_w3j3mz | t5_2to41 | 9 | lulu_123321: TIFU by blocking my boyfriend everywhere and now he never wants to see me again
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ivenrael: If it bothered you as much, then you should be happy about the result. No problem there you waited long enough, *BUT* haven't you tried to help him through his tough time? Did you actually ever meet? You couldn't be living in a distance as you share the same college.
lulu_123321: He never talked to me thats why i got frustrated
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: He doesn't know how.
It's a two way street. Call him.
lulu_123321: I did tell him multiple times to talk to me but he never did thats why i was hurt when he told me that his mental problems were going on for a while and they only got worse. It made me feel like he didnt trust me enough to tell me ik i should’ve been understanding and be there for him but i let my emotions get the better of me and its my fault thats why i posted it on the TIFU reddit
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: You're doing the right thing. You didn't fuck up and neither did he.
Give it a few days, or maybe a week, and give him a nudge again.
lulu_123321: I dont think its a good idea for me to talk to him if he wants to he can talk to me but i just cant rn im not in the right mental state to talk to him i dont want to hurt him further that i already have
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: You're a good person.
Wait a few days. Give him a little space, and then drop a note to see if he wants to talk.
You haven't fucked up. You're doing everything right.
| 8 | 1.125 | |
1658317136 | 1658418723 | t3_w3k5fp | t5_2to41 | 1,385 | I_Am_YungAce: TIFU by taking pre-workout then passing out
Back story here - I have neglected my body for the last 2 years and let myself get away and gain lots of weight. I gained 30-40lbs and not happy with myself
I bought some stuff to take the initiative to work out. I have neve tried pre-workout before so decided eh why the hell not. This was my 3rd week back at the gym & I saw the pre-workout sitting there and decided why not so I took a whole scoop and popped it in my mouth. It was like chewing on Styrofoam and packed a wallop. It was like dumping an entire bag of sour patch kids in my mouth... it was pretty sour. I then grabbed my gym bag & headed out at 3:30am to hit the gym (I work nights and that's like mid day for me) I get there and there is 1 vehicle outside, so I think to myself "Perfect, can't embarras myself if there's nobody to watch." At this point the pre-workout has been in my system long enough and I feel like im on crack. I'm super amped with way too much energy. So I hit the weights HARD, barely any rests between sets super intense for 45min. Never ever done that before. Towards the end of my last set I feel like throwing up, so I cut it short and as I do some giga-chads walk in the door. At this point my vision is so blurry I can't even make out their faceand my stomach is churning. Thank God someone was there. I start packing up my stuff and head towards the door. I make eye contact with one of the giga-chads and he says "how's it going man..I. are you feeling alright" I was trying so hard to play it cool but something wasn't right. All I could make put was "No I worked out too hard..." then I folded like a bag of bricks. Next thing I know I'm sitting against the wall with an ice cold water bottle up to my mouth and 3 of the giga-chads coming to my rescue. They're all attempting to get my attention but my brain & mouth is not registering. After what felt like eternity I said "I'm okay" and they let out a sigh of relief. I started to come to and they helped me get up and sit down on a nearby bench then they told me I was out for a few minutes and were about to call 911. I told them I worked out a little too hard, way than I normally do. So after some good laughs I sat there for 10-20 minutes until I came to fully and knew I was safe to drive home. I felt so embarrassed that I nearly gave myself a stroke and these 3 poor gentleman a heart attack thinking I was dying on them.
Tldr: took some pre-workout, sent it a little too hard at the gym without resting between sets for 45min and proceeded to pass out & give 3 gym bros a panic attack.
Edit: Holy crap... this blew up
I'm in good health for you all that were wondering. I was down for a day with some headaches and nausea but cleared up after some rest
MEI72: Did you get any giga-chad digits?
Also, what preworkout?
I_Am_YungAce: Haha no they seemed cool tho
it's some c4 pre workout explosion
PotatoWifiGamer: C4 is pretty much just a little kick of caffeine, but make sure you're mixing it with water still.
TinyKong_: The key here is explosion, normal c4 is fine for me but my partner buys the explosion one. I didn’t realize the “my skin is on fire” effect until I had the formula with extra beta alanin.
I would have done anything to get that feeling to stop. I went a for a big run after weights last time to try to get it to ease.
BustingBigRocks: I have always thought that was the point? Push weight as hard as I can or run as fast and long as I can to make the itch stop. I don't want to look like I have bugs in my skin while I work out so I workout harder
TinyKong_: It is the point, I just prefer to feel overly caffeinated hah.
| 7 | 197.857143 | |
1658319248 | 1658431561 | t3_w3kt1u | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking at my friends twitter profile
[deleted]
CaptnSave-A-Ho: So I'm guessing from the context clues here that anime is just cartoons and hentai is the porn cartoons? I've heard people talk about both and I always figured they were basically interchangeable. Now I'm starting to wonder if I ever mislabeled them...
Drestlin: what are you, 85?
WhisperedEchoes85: Or they just have zero interest in anime or hentai...like most mature adults.
Drestlin: sure, miyazaki, satoshi kon, urasawa, stuff like legend of the galactic heroes - stuff for children or immature adults.
it's like saying that books are for kids because children books exist.
WhisperedEchoes85: >sure, miyazaki, satoshi kon, urasawa, stuff like legend of the galactic heroes - stuff for children or immature adults.
You recognized my distinction of mature vs immature adults--
>it's like saying that books are for kids because children books exist.
--and then threw it right out the window to make your point. 🤦♂️
Drestlin: ...substitute that for "books for immature adults", jesus, way to miss the point.
WhisperedEchoes85: You are still dismissing the fact that I said "most".
Taking offense to *my* opinion doesn’t change it.
Drestlin: "Most" means nothing, both my parents watched anime and they are in their 70s now (and most of their generation did, here).
Let's not pretend you were doing anything else but calling people immature here.
WhisperedEchoes85: "Most" does not mean nothing just because you need it to in order to prove a point. NONE of my family has ever watched anime, so by your logic, that means NOBODY does. Take your strawman argument elsewhere. I stand by what I said whether someone likes it or not. That is my right as a human being, whether or not you like that, too.
And just to drive my point home, here you go. Notice how the numbers drop as adults MATURE.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1095757/anime-movie-opinions-us-by-age/
Drestlin: Favorability of anime movies in the U.S. 2020, by age group
The US is not the center of the world. You started getting \*some\* anime (mostly the for kids ones) during the 90s. Ofcourse you have that skew :D
My parents' generation watched them in their 20s, millennials grew up with them. you'd literally have to go to people 80+ to find somebody who hasn't watched any and don't even know what they are.
WhisperedEchoes85: The US is the second largest consumer of anime in the world with Japan being the first. The numbers are a good indicator.
| 12 | 0.583333 | |
1658320600 | 1658342841 | t3_w3l9dz | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU my beating my meat in the living room
[removed]
Infinite420Question: Am I the only one that wouldn't have stopped?
Anyone else agree with me?
Anyone at all?
Hello.....?
Flaregon: In for a penny in for a pound ah...
I get your logic, and I'd also be amazed if you could still keep it up 😅...
Infinite420Question: Last time it happened she just laughed the whole time. Women don't understand, some guys are into cock shaming
Flaregon: The more you know....
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1658323032 | 1658324680 | t3_w3m459 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by crapping on my wallet.
[deleted]
Fit_Ad_7681: If it weren't for the fact that most women's pants don't have (usable) front pockets, I'd tell you to get a ridge wallet. It's more comfortable than sitting on a leather one you have to keep in your back pocket, but again, requires front pockets.
OhYeahIsBigBrainTime: Im doomed to continue pooping on my wallet i guess
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1658324944 | 1658342835 | t3_w3mtf2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | cailloulovescake: TIFU by helping my cousin's with a prank
So, where to begin...
I recently came back to my home-country for summer and I've been here for 3 weeks, give or take. It's been okay for the most part aside from the fact that I have cousins straight from the pits of hell. And when I say from the pits of hell, I mean it. They're constantly playing shitty pranks on people for no reason which has made a lot of the locals lives hell. Last year, they set someone's car on fire and then brought a hose to snuff out the fire. However, this wasn't out of the kindness of their heart, as one of them had the idea to pretend as if they're helping put the fire out, and instead spray the hose on the car owner and run away when the time is right. You might be thinking that they'd be arrested by now, but laws are pretty loose here and cops don't give a shit as long as you put some money in their wallet.
Anyway, back to the story. So the same cousins that played the fire prank decided to play a prank on our relatives who recently arrived. They have two daughters, aged 11 and 2. The 11 year old is beyond anything I've ever seen, always screaming and throwing a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. Anyone looks at her the wrong way? Screaming and hitting. Get within 2 feet of her? She cusses you out. You get the jig. Anyway, my cousins got fed up with her and decided that they've had enough. They made plan that while the annoying little shit was sleeping, they'd smother poop on her face/clothes and put some under her bed to make it seem like she shit herself and it got on her. They asked me if I wanted to join, and usually I would probably decline. However, I was fed up with her shit (lol) and agreed. Our family owns a 2 farms close to our house, so gathering the poopy material was easy. Once we had it, we waited until it was night time and everyone was asleep. No one really sleeps with their door closed and this stingy little shit was especially scared of the dark. She also stole the room I was sleeping in before my relatives arrived, which was gonna make the satisfaction of the prank even better. We crept in and began the deed, we used gloves to scoop the poop and placed some gently on her face as to not wake her. We were all dying and it took everything to not burst out of laughter like a fucking balloon. After we were done, we heard footsteps coming into the room. Everyone was alert, well everyone except me. I was on the far side of the room conveniently, and that meant I wouldn't hear anything. Everyone ran out of the room and I was left there confused as to why everyone decided to just run. As I prepared to exit as well, the mom entered the room.
&#x200B;
She flicked on the light, and let me tell you, I've never heard anyone scream so loud. She sounded like a banshee getting buttfucked by a sheep at the same time, my ears were ringing like crazy. She immediately started screaming and I tried to calm her down and make up an excuse, but she wasn't having it. Her daughter promptly woke up shortly after and proceeded to cause a tantrum too. 20 minutes later and all the family members awake, I was blamed for everything. My parents were trying to convince the little shit's mom to not call the cops and to not have the dad murder me in cold-blood. I got the beating of a life time that night, threats like I've never received before, and now my whole family hates me. And to top it all off, none of the cousins involved got in trouble because I can't even tell anyone what happened as no one wants to listen to someone who smothered shit on a kid (even though it literally wasn't me). It's been two days and all I get are dirty looks from my own parents and people hugging their kids closer when they see me. My life sucks.
&#x200B;
TL;DR : Went along with plan of smothering shit on annoying cousin while she was sleeping, got caught and was the only one that got in trouble. Kids are now scared of me, parents hate me, no one talks to me anymore and I'm treated like shit (lol).
Background-Falcon-74: “My life sucks” says the one who agreed to partake in an activity where human fecal matter would be smothered onto another human
cailloulovescake: I was standing there witnessing the act happen, and the girl did a few things that weren’t mentioned in the post to deserve the prank. You also missed the part where no one else took accountability except me, who did the least out of everyone.
Background-Falcon-74: Nobody deserves getting actual shit smeared on their face. Also is she the cousin you “dropped from 20 feet and caused mental disabilities”? What’s up with that?
cailloulovescake: I don’t recall saying they were dropped from 20 feet, and no, completely different cousin. That’s not what this is about anyway.
Background-Falcon-74: You literally made that post not too long ago on r/confessions https://www.reddit.com/r/confession/comments/jz2fn6/i_dropped_my_little_cousin_20_feet_off_the_floor/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf. Did you forget?
cailloulovescake: Ok? I didn’t deny the existence of the post? All I said was I don’t remember saying 20 feet but I obviously remembered wrong. What’s your point..?
Background-Falcon-74: I was curious about it since it was deleted
cailloulovescake: Oh, sorry if I came off as hostile.
| 9 | 0.555556 | |
1658326721 | 1658413708 | t3_w3ni6h | t5_2to41 | 3,689 | BiggDripper2606: tifu by looking up rule 34 bugs
Yesterday I (23M) fucked up by starting my day with connectivity issues on my phone, this was frustrating for me because I have important messages to send relating to my line of work, I had to reset the router and went about my day as usual. When my mother who is the account holder for our wifi got home from her shift I let her know about the issues and me resetting the router and she informed me that she had removed old devices from her wifi because they had been going on sketchy sites(this is important for later). All was well and I went about my day as usual.
Later that day my friend and I were talking and he had begun to mention how frustrated he was that people were making porn of one of his favorite characters, I told him about rule 34 and he didn't believe me. I recently have been playing hollow knight and if you've played that game you know there is a character people are very thirsty for. I told him there porn of a bug in hollow knight and In his shocked state, he asked to see it. Sensing the value of the humour in this situation I began to search up "hollow knight white lady r34" now this is where the fuck up starts.
Typically when I go to explicit site my malware protection asks if I'm sure I would like to proceed to the site, this time was different. In a moment of muscle memory I hit a button labeled "send request to account holder" this is when I knew I fucked up
When my mother woke up this morning she texted me letting me know that my account had been placed on "high security mode" by mistake. And I had the pleasure of attempting to convince my mom I'm not sexually attracted to animated bugs.
Tl:Dr: I accidentally sent a request to look at bug porn directly to my mothers phone
Edit: the parental controls were not intentionally enabled but rather were turned on by mistake
No-I-Dont-Exist: I saw the title, and the first thing I thought was Hollow knight…
Tastewell: Mine was "A Bug's Life", quickly followed by "Bee Movie". Predictably and disturbingly, there is porn of both.
uwupotato9206: "If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions."
MagicHamsta: Welcome to the internets, I are a magical hamster and shall be your guide today.
daking999: "Hey Google"... "Search for magical hamster porn"
MagicHamsta: D:
daking999: Time to start an onlyfans my furry friend.
MagicHamsta: Onlyhams.
| 9 | 409.888889 | |
1658328246 | 1658329167 | t3_w3o3wv | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by snooping…… again
[deleted]
the_cat_whiskerer00: If you're concerned about your health, you could make an appointment to see an OBGYN. There you can safely explain why you're worried and ask for advice as well.
Sad_Avocado8236: Noted and thank you
| 3 | 4 | |
1658335790 | 1658676659 | t3_w3r845 | t5_2to41 | 369 | ninjuhturdel: TIFU by having sex with my wife and ending up in the hospital
So, I'll start by saying this happened 2 days ago, but I'm still dealing with the emotional stress. For context, my wife is pregnant. Very pregnant. (38+ weeks)
It was a night like any other, taking it easy after a long day. Our 2 children (my stepsons) are asleep and we're watching a movie in bed when things get a little hot and heavy. Mind you, it's a good idea to continue sex during pregnancy, so we've had a pretty healthy appetite for it. (She can't get pregnant twice, right?) We finish up and she disappears into the bathroom for a while, and I'm just lying in bed, waiting for her to return. I notice it has been a while since she's left, and I start to feel a bit uncomfortable -- like my brain knows something that I don't. Eventually, she returns and says that she, "didn't mention earlier because she wasn't sure, but she has been having contractions all day." I stare in disbelief for about 30 seconds before asking if we should go to the hospital. She decides it would be best if we go.
Next thing you know, we're running around the house like crazy... packing last-minute items, putting together a few baby items we hadn't assembled yet, and installing a new car seat in my car while we wait for my MIL to arrive. (To watch the kids while we slink into the night to the hospital) She shows up in record time, and away we go.
One 25m drive in the car later, we're at the hospital. We get signed in, are assigned a room, and wait for the nurse to check everything. Turns out she's 3cm dilated and 50% effaced. She's also bleeding lightly and losing pieces of her mucus plug. All the tell-tale signs are there. So, 2 hours into this, the nurse tells us to take a walk around the hospital floor for an hour, hoping to kickstart the birth. Nothing. We're eventually told to go home and wait it out. So now it's been almost 2 full days since the incident and still no baby. Turns out early labor can be a long, exhaustive process.
Tldr; I made sweet love to my very pregnant wife, and possibly accelerated her giving birth
sprocket1234: Give her an orgasm, they help induce labor
ninjuhturdel: That's precisely how we ended up at the hospital at 1am.
sprocket1234: So do it again. She is already dilating, effaced and mucus plug loosening. Continue the process and speed things along.
ninjuhturdel: 😏
Longjumping_Fox_9937: OP, you have a sacred mission: give your wife as many orgasms as possible in the next week to make her last days of pregnancy as happy as possible. GO.
ninjuhturdel: *sweating profusely, chugging Gatorade* Challenge.... *Gasp*..... Accepted
Longjumping_Fox_9937: OP, have you welcomed your newest into the world yet?
ninjuhturdel: Unfortunately, no. We're still trying to push things along 😏. We have an appt tomorrow, so hopefully she has progressed. Friday is technically the due date, so very soon! Thanks for checking on us!
Longjumping_Fox_9937: Rooting for you both! Hope you’ve had time to go buy more Gatorade.
| 10 | 36.9 | |
1658338361 | 1658339944 | t3_w3saw4 | t5_2to41 | 44 | Advicethrowaway99535: TIFU by accidentally swigging a glass of vodka this morning
I (18F) had a wild morning, thought I’d share my fuck up with y’all. It’s nothing serious just funny 💀
So I have an appt early morning which ended in me getting diagnosed with Bipolar and Autism and so I thought that it would be a nice relaxing activity for afterwards to sit on my deck and get some sun with a nice, ice cold glass of preworkout.
I grab some ice and a water bottle that was sitting in my room. I mix it all up. I am so mf excited for this delicious refreshment as I had only had one sip of liquid the whole day up until then. Naturally, I go at it with a nice fat swig. I pause. It tastes… off. Oddly sweet….
Then it hits me that I had a water bottle of peach svedka in my bedroom. I live with my father and had to keep a straight face as I swallowed straight vodka in front of him. I literally poured myself an entire glass of vodka at like 10am.
Unfortunately for me, I did not eat anything today and am a generally tall and slender woman, alcohol hits me like a brick under the right conditions. And… that chug… I feel it coursing through my blood as I type this. Luckily don’t have to do anything.
Lol plz kill me.
I keep burping up bitter peach.
TL;DR — poured a glass of WHAT I THOUGHT WAS WATER and it was vodka
fomoco94: Being on an empty stomach you probably should have just threw it up before much was absorbed. Too late now.
Advicethrowaway99535: I’m fine so far like I am present 💀
Bubbagumpredditor: May as well finish the glass....
| 4 | 11 | |
1658340258 | 1658359191 | t3_w3t2vg | t5_2to41 | 13 | twotall88: TIFU by nearly severing my thumb tip repairing my condensate drain on my AC.
Update: https://imgur.com/a/Eqn6Xdl
So, I'm coming up on about 18 months or more of DIY basement renovations and I'm in the home stretch with having the laminate floor 100% completed. We decided to throw some of our surplus flooring in the utility room that is about 15'x5' (4.6mx1.5m) that has a second refrigerator, a small chest deepfreeze, a sump pit, and my furnace and AC unit.
The company that installed the AC/furnace unit before we owned the house ran the condensate drain line directly on the slab into the sump pit and it was tight so I had to cut and raise it to give room for the laminate to be under it. No problem, got a solvent union fitting from my local Ace Hardware store and installed it and... the double 45° unions (think 3/4" (2cm) PVC pipe going into a 45° and another 45° right after it with no appreciable pipe in between it) above my repair started leaking. Must have been a weak joint to begin with so it cracked when adding the solvent union and getting clickloc flooring under the pipe.
So, another trip to Ace for a 2' (0.6m) section of 3/4" PVC and two 45° unions. I get back home and cut out the bad unions.. .only the PVC is old and brittle as PVC gets and it left it super jagged. I get my razor blade pocket knife with a fresh titanium coated blade in it and start going around it cutting down the high points to make sure I get as much bite as I can.
The trimming is going fine and I'm almost done, it's a bit jerky because PVC doesn't cut smoothly even though it's easy to cut. I've been doing a good job being extra careful and then muscle memory kicked in...
I must have put my thumb up like I was cutting an apple with a paring knife and it slipped... You guessed it, my thumb started gushing blood and now looks like it has a joker's smile on it... I did the right thing and just applied pressure until it stopped bleeding and put a bandage on it. I managed to break it open once shortly after it stopped bleeding by stabbing it into something on the floor as I was picking up cloths.
Went back to the pipe and finished the repair shortly after because my AC has been running constantly and fills a 5 gallon bucket with condensate in less than 8 hours so it had to be connect.
18 hours later now and no longer need a bandage. Still looks like my thumb is smiling at me when I look at it. I'm pretty sure I'll never have touch sensation in the tip again but it's not going to fall off. Pictures to follow after I get off work.
TL;DR repairing a non-pressure PVC drain line with a razor blade to clean up the jagged edge and even though I was being careful managed to nearly cut off the last 1/4" (6.4mm) or so of my thumb tip. I'm OK, my thumb will be OK but that is a big oof.
because_of_ghosts: A friend of mine is a supervisor at an Ace Hardware. People coming in four or five times a day for the same thing because the first couple didn’t work. He said they often come back injured.
twotall88: Lmao. At least I didn't cause the additional issue. The joint shouldn't have failed
because_of_ghosts: Haha I get that. I hate home repair work for that reason.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1658343379 | 1658428890 | t3_w3ud1w | t5_2to41 | 14 | IndianCorrespondant: TIFU by writing an emotional love letter to a female coworker who wrote a prank love letter.
So there is this coworker (W24) who was always so friendly and Caring towards me (M24). We were like jim and pam from the office series. We regularly prank each other and our coworkers. I always thought she liked me. Maybe I mistook our stupid friendship to be something more. I'm damn sure she isn't as "friendly" with others.
One day she wrote to me a love letter. Gave it to me in front of all my coworkers. I thought it was personal and that it had meant something. She probably never intended it that way. I'll tell you the contents of that letter in short.
---so basically she felt something the we entered each others lives. She can't imagine a life without me. She loves me,.. and wants to know whether I'll support her---
She wrote it in hindi, which i translated into English. Some words may have been lost in the translation.
I was embarrassed to give a reply right then. she showed visible disappointment when I didn't reply with a letter.
I wanted to give a reply right then, but was embarrassed to pour my heart out right there and then.
So when I reached my apartment that I shared with some friends and co-workers, I started drafting a letter to her. It took me hours to complete the whole letter. It was long, sensitive and emotional.
So what I wrote in short is:
--- I talk about myself being a weird and self-conscious person. I tell her that I'm an emotional soul and act tough. I proceed to say I felt the same connection, the same weird energy in her. If she was to accept me for all my stupidness, I would be luckiest person in the universe.---
I gave her the reply as a text message on WhatsApp. She proceeded to take a snapshot and post it as her Story. She hid me so I never saw the story.
The next day when I came to office this was what everyone was talking about. When we went for tea break, she proceeded to ask me about the letter and some of the personal stuff I wrote there.
I just kept to myself, faked being to tried of not getting any sleep because I watched some stupid movie. I wasn't even able to make Eye contact with her or anyone. I was so fucking embarrassed.
Some of my male coworkers recognised that I was being uncomfortable and proceeded to change the topics and save me.
I just wish the last two days of my life was a fucking nightmare.
TL;DR :- My coworker wrote me a love letter, just for fun. Me being the fool I am took it as a genuine one and poured my heart out in a reply letter. When she showed that letter to all my coworkers which had some embarrassing personal details, I just wanted to die right then. I feel like I want to be suked into the earth and die.
GreilyMoon: this is exactly why I've never been in a relationship. I have pretty low self confidence and always assume that every confession or invitation is just a prank. I don't have enough energy for that shit. This behaviour is extremely stupid and childish. You didn't f*ck up. You deserve better
IndianCorrespondant: I should have thought about it better. when she gave me this letter in front of my colleagues I should have known it was a prank. The fault was mine for thinking it was serious. The fucking fool I am.
elephantthrow: No, it means you're human, with real emotion, that people with no soul are out to manipulate.
What she did resembles a prepubecent mentality to get attention.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1658347224 | 1658372123 | t3_w3vx7k | t5_2to41 | 57 | Heissennbberrg: TIFU by going along to pick up weed the same day my buddy got his driver’s license.
This is an oldie but I think about it often and I don’t know where else to post it. This happened 15 summers ago. We were young idiots and I don’t condone any choices made throughout this entire story.
My friends and I were all 16-17 at the time. So my buddy Mark passed his driving test and got his license, perfect now we have wheels to go grab some buds. He was free to borrow his mom’s SUV anytime (at least that day was no problem). A few more of us gather at another friend’s house before we head out with Mark. The others are John, Andy and myself. Since there were 4 of us we had enough cash with us to grab an ounce no problem, so we went to a different dealer a little further away. The fastest way there is the highway so that’s the route we chose. Getting there and getting our stuff was no issue, it’s the ride back where things went sour. It’s about a 50 minute drive each way.
As soon as we start heading back Andy pulls out his bong and we get ready to pack some bowls for the cruise home. John doesn’t toke much and didn’t want any, and Mark was driving so he didn’t either. Just Andy and I will be toking I guess. The thing is, Andy was hittin poppers on the way up so I fucking hate those and he knows it. So he just straight up pours the gunk ass black death popper water out the fucking window in the middle of the freeway! And of course… the car right behind us clearly takes all of it because here comes 4 crackheads in a 3-color Chevy cavalier racing right up by Mark’s window. Let me tell you man, they were trippin balls at us so hard it was immediately obvious what had happened..
Panic ensues as they attempt to run us off the road on the rightmost lane, we come to a complete stop. Then as soon as one of them jumped outta the car Mark put it in reverse, quickly backed up and then scooted around the guy, we took off like mfers. Meanwhile there are people zooming by us and honking like crazy. Bout 20 seconds later crackhead booboo and his crew came racing up again, this time they swerved extremely fast at us (I think trying to pit maneuver?) and he missed completely.. then spun out in the middle of the highway!! So fucked up man
At this point John and Andy are white as ghosts and silent, I’m screaming and deciding if I should call the cops or not but Mark won’t let me because his dad’s a cop. We are going 170kmh at this point and weaving between traffic and I just feel like I’m in a dream. Such a shitty day, once we finally got off the highway and the dudes didn’t find us again we all just went tf home and didn’t hang out to get high anywhere. I’ve never seen Andy since that day lmao. Mark, John and I are still tight.
Sorry if this is a sloppy post I did it on my phone during a work break.
TL;DR: buddy poured old weed/cigarette bong water all over some crazy’s car on the highway
woolsocksandsandals: Isn’t poppers amyl nitrite?
Heissennbberrg: It’s tobacco and weed together. Really gives you a rush especially if you aren’t a regular tobacco user
clitoreum: Where are you from where poppers means that? Genuinely curious.
TossNWashMeClean: Not OP but in Oklahoma we'd call them "snaps"
Chickensandcoke: Same in Midwest and the south in my experience
| 6 | 9.5 | |
1658347505 | 1658356867 | t3_w3w1jg | t5_2to41 | 19 | cathunter420: TIFU by calling a girl fat
So (M, 24yo)I've been talking to her(F, 32yo) for around a month on a website. We are kinda getting along well with each other, talking about many things, very compatible.
Base on what I heard from her, she was kinda insecure about her look, through talking to her, I tried to comfort her making her happy or at least confident about her appearance, then she seemed to be OK with that. Today we decided to meet each other in real life, had a meet-up and stuff like that.
We talked a lot, kinda interested in one another, but we only considered this as a friendship. At the end of the day, she asked me if she was fat, then I said yes, she was kinda upset and disappointed but I knew that she was trying hide her feelings of disappointment.
At that time, I realized that I fucked up, I then beat around the bush to distract her. Now, she's ok but that emotional damage is still there, she sometimes mentioned why I called her fat. I'm so messed up!! I eventually offered her another meet-up to compensate that, she said yes which is a good thing. I'm so sensitive to my word choice rn, I'm afraid that history would repeat itself again omg!!
TL;DR: I called a girl fat and she's upset, I made a grave mistake.
MyDadBod_2021: Why would you tell her that?! Especially knowing she is self conscious about it... /smh
Schwiftified: Maybe because she’s likely actually fat? She shouldn’t be seeking someone that is going to lie to her about her weight and asking questions like that. Now, on the flip side, there’s definitely a way to answer her question honestly without being so abrupt about it. Maybe, “If I’m being completely honest, yes, though I find you incredibly attractive and wouldn’t change a thing about you” or something along those lines.
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1658349013 | 1658350155 | t3_w3wn03 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU By letting my cat stay in the room
[deleted]
dfapredator: I thought this would end with sack scratches so all in all not to bad
sendyslayer: It definitely could’ve been worse!
| 3 | 6 | |
1658351305 | 1658362873 | t3_w3xkp8 | t5_2to41 | 248 | [deleted]: Tifu wearing tight shorts to yoga
[deleted]
BlackberryHaunting74: Wow sounds like a nightmare lol I'm imagining if I we're a guy and this happens to me. I would run straight home and burry my face in my pillow
Johnnydigi003: He definitely buried something into his pillow
| 3 | 82.666667 | |
1658350095 | 1658377007 | t3_w3x2r7 | t5_2to41 | 919 | hsjehhsjuz: TIFU by scanning a QR code
I, being horny was searching around reddit and I found some, shall we say “questionable” discord channels. I joined one and it had some other channels which were similar,linked. One of these had a QR code. I scanned it. Which was a mistake. I auto joined a random server which was in my library for all of 5 seconds before vanishing. A bit weirded out I ignored it. About 5 minutes later I start being spammed with warnings from various servers. I ended up being flat out banned from one and muted on a few others. And my heart was was about 50 bpm higher than normal. I had to go through so many channels deleting messages and apologizing everywhere for the mistake. It worked one one channel. Muted or banned on the rest. And this is the best opportunity. I could have had a lot worse happen, like having personal data stolen. But for all I know o could have.
TLDR: spammed discord links in multiple channels resulting in a lot of apologies bans and mutings.
McGundam1215: You got lucky you didn’t get hit with ransom ware especially if you logged into your discord account on a desktop
hsjehhsjuz: Yeah. I’m very glad it wasn’t worse. (It was just invites that were spammed)
NostradaMart: time for safe mode reboot and antimalware+virus scan.
Dank_Beams_: It's probably not necessary but if it's on your computer and you don't really have anything you care about just do a factory reset. Then you don't have that doubt if you missed anything.
emeraldkat77: Just an FYI, that doesn't fix some kinds of infections. But by the sound of things, it seems less like a true infection though, but could've changed permissions if on a PC (which could then allow extremely serious infections in).
Source: I've done infection removals for an AV company for nearly a decade.
Dragnskull: inb4 your name is "Jim" and you work for "Microsoft" and have the heaviest Indian accent imaginable
| 7 | 131.285714 |
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