start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1658528612 | 1658552751 | t3_w5n86e | t5_2to41 | 12 | Time_Bodybuilder4573: TIFU by having a prefrence
I (13m) went to the mall with my friend(13f) and our moms (both 38f) So we walked off from our moms and went to just walk around and talk, eventually we walk past a group of maybe 16-19 year olds no older or younger id say and they were speaking about their friend being trans and on estragine (idk how to spell it forgive me if its wrong) after walking a bit longer in the direction of our moms idk why but i said its cool how their friend is trans and amazing how they can open up to their friends about it and she for some reason i dont know asked if id date a trans person and it just so happened the group was near us and overheard when i said "no i dont have anything against them but id prefer a biological girl over a trans one."she said ok and not three seconds later one of those people in the group asked me why i have to be transphobic me being confused i asked what the fuck are you talking about and removed their hand from my shoulder and tried to walk of before being called all types of insults and transphobic, not wanting to be in trouble me and my friend tried to walk away and get to our moms but we were just being surrounded and followed so eventually they stop after like 4 seconds of bombarding me they walk away i told my mom on the ride back home and she said people like that have nothing better to do and are close minded fools (i feel its important to note she meant the people harrasing me not trans/lgbtq people) my friend says its just what 2022 is and im lucky i cant be irl canceled my idiots her mom says we shouldnt speak of lgbtq people in public which i feel in 20220 is what non lgbtq people should be doing. this will me downvoted to shit which i know for a fact and i will be called a transphobe. TL;DR i was called a transphobe for having a prefrence.
Manicmoustache: I think an important question is why you would prefer a biological woman?
Often people who say "I wouldn't date a trans woman" are doing it because at some level they don't see trans women the same way as biological women. This can be transphobic, so it might be helpful to question why you think that.
Time_Bodybuilder4573: Exactly what i knew would happen i dont know why i just prefer a bio woman but its like in this world you cannot have a prefrence
Manicmoustache: Certain preferences come under question because they can result in discrimination against marginalized groups. Without justification, I can't really say that I think that your preference is valid.
Do you understand why someone that holds the same preference as you might be a transphobe?
Time_Bodybuilder4573: no because its a simple prefrence i dont dislike trans women or trans people i just would simply not date a trans woman so because you say im a transphobe for a simple prefrence can i call you a "straightphobe" or say you unvalidate my poinion because im straight? because if i was trans saying what i said it would be a different story is there truly no double standard? edit: typo
Manicmoustache: I never said you were a transphobe.
I asked if you understood how someone who was a transphobe would have the same preference as you.
Would you defend someone who explicitly said that they were a transphobe who had the same preference as you?
Time_Bodybuilder4573: no because i dont hate nor dislike trans people i dont get how a prefrence a simole prefrence can be a problem
Manicmoustache: What about if someone has a preference against black people? What if that person runs a business and decides that they don't need to hire any black people? Is that just a simple preference?
Time_Bodybuilder4573: no thats racism are you not getting it i see trans people just as people i dont care if youre trans or not i just would not date a trans woman IT IS A PREFRENCE why is it so hard for people to be excepted if they arent lgbtq but have a simple dating prefrenc?
Manicmoustache: Because transphobes would do the exact same thing.
It can be seen as the same as hanging a confederate flag in your window - you might just like the way it looks, but most of the people who do it are racist.
You have to be careful with things like this - every action has a context and the context that your preference has is that it's often hidden behind by transphobes.
Time_Bodybuilder4573: ok what im getting is a prefrence that can be transphobic is comparable to racism? and also i am black so i experience racism almost daily either at school or out somewhere else nearly everyday i get called the n word by a white person is it fair for me to say your white your probably a racist because in my experience they are almost all racist?
Manicmoustache: No - I talked about actions, not characteristics.
Time_Bodybuilder4573: well i see now that is true maybe i got ahead of myself i apolagize for that but you did compare my prefrence to racism which is a long shot in my opinion im not saying trans phobia is not a big problem or anything which people have taken that my words as but i belive they are two complete different things
asmith33195: They are completely different, don't let this sully your worldview. People are people and as you said- you can have preferences. The commenter is asking you- very terribly and accusingly - to do some soul searching and make sure it isn't because you don't think trans women are women. Gender is weird and so broad, saying you would not date or are not attracted to trans people sounds like you're painting every trans person one color when they are so different from each other. Maybe saying "I have not met a trans person I am attracted to or want to date so far" would make more sense and maybe say what you're trying to convey a bit better- that not one trans person has piqued your interest so far. You're fine in your preferences. Everyone is fine in their preferences and it isn't up to anyone to police your preferences, or reasons for them, other than yourself.
I hate it when people compare transphobia to racism because it sounds like they're trying to erase how racism plays in our daily lives and across generations. They are similar in some regards- access to job opportunities where you are physically present, looks and opinions from the general public, access to healthcare and bodily autonomy rights- but that's where it ends. Our experiences are unique just like theirs are and there is no reason to compare struggles.
You sound like a good kid. You should be proud of putting yourself out there like this.
| 14 | 0.857143 | |
1658527878 | 1658630083 | t3_w5my08 | t5_2to41 | -1 | [deleted]: TIFU: by turning on iCloud photos
So I own an iPad and my little brother used to. Back when he still had his I turned iCloud off for photos because I didn’t want him randomly deleting my stuff or looking at it. He recently got a computer because his iPad just started turning on and off until it died and recharging it wouldn’t fix it. His also had a hole in the screen that let you see the inside of it so I don’t really know why he was surprised by its death. So we just got rid of it. Just now, because my storage is running low and turning it on would save some I turned on iCloud photos. Then I went to look at my pictures. It. Was. Horrible. I got all of the pictures from my brother’s iPad. (We had the same Apple ID) He had a lot of pictures which isn’t really surprising considering him. The worst part was the recent stuff. It was One Piece porn. Or at least I think it was I only watched a season but the art style looked similar. For a few seconds all I could do was look at in utter shock. I know this is just classic hormonal boy stuff, or at least I hope it is, but it’s still so gross. What makes it even worse is that that stuff was there from not long before his iPad died. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at him the same way ever again (I probably will). I kind of want to confront him but then again I remember when I had a phase like that (I’m ace) and if my family found out about it would have jumped off a bridge. If someone else has gone through this please share ways for me to cope with my new knowledge.
TL;DR: I found out and saw the porn my brother watches.
namnbyte: What exactly do you think it would accomplish to confront him about watching porn? Do you really think he would stop and never do it again?
As I see it, as an 35y/o male, the only thing that will lead to is basically you awkwardly talking about different porn with your little bro. With no point to be made.
Just leave it, it's nothing uncommon or wrong with him
[deleted]: I obviously know it wouldn’t do anything aside from embarrassing him that’s why I’ve not told him about my findings, it’s just that the only way I know to deal with stuff is confronting it
namnbyte: Either way this isn't your task to manage, if anyone it's his parents that should do it, if anyone. This time you simply have to find other ways to deal with it, and deal with it by yourself
[deleted]: Thank you for the advice
| 5 | -0.2 | |
1658530743 | 1658537476 | t3_w5o1nn | t5_2to41 | 30 | Cat_Momma_0215: TIFU by giving slowly giving myself serotonin syndrome.
Technically this happened yesterday and took a few days to build up. So ever since i was about 14 I've dealt with anxiety, panic disorder, and depression and have been on prozac for it. I went up to 60mg of prozac over the years. Im 22 now. Well another thing about me is I SUCK at remembering to take any type of medication even normal medications. (I had to switch from birth control pills to the shot because i would even forget those and aggravate my endometriosis) So i would only take my prozac half the time if that. Many people in my family have hounded me to take my medicine because the severe panic attacks i have were happening more frequently and when asked if i took my medicine i shrugged. Many times i had to be forced by my mom or boyfriend to take my medicine and not the whole "I'll do it later" bs. So this past week i decided to do good for myself and use one of those days of the week medicine boxes that have night and day on them. And i was doing good taking them everyday. (Prozac is my night medicine). The first few days i was just super sleepy and i told myself its just my body trying to get used to this medicine again. Well about midnight on wednesday is when things started going down hill. I was what i thought was feverish and chills and i could barely sleep. I called out of work that day and has my sister stay with me because i did not want to be alone. That night i took my medicine again. Not a good idea. The next day was horrible. I was agitated, jittery, and my chest was pounding. I called my dad to bring his blood pressure cuff because i felt so weird and usually if my dad feels similar to this his blood pressure was usually up. Well at first it was hard to get a reading but then when it did it was only slightly elevated. I went to my dads because he did not want me by myself. I was feeling so terrible and like i had 18 cups of coffee or something. We called my doctor and i was able to get in. At the office my heart rate was 106bpm. I explained all my symptoms to the doctor and then he asked how i take my medicine. I admitted that i don't take it like i should. That's when he said that my body was not used to this high of a dose like it was previously. He said i had too much serotonin in my body. I later looked it up and if i had not caught this as early as i did i would probably be in the hospital. Serotonin syndrome can get as bad as having seizures or coma. I never thought my horrible habit of not taking my medicine as prescribed would do that much damage. Im still a bit weird today but i feel much better. I've been reduced down to 20mg now. Please please remember to take your medicine as prescribed or it can end up very bad for you.
TLDR/ i almost overdosed on prozac cuz im an idiot that cant remember to take their medicine
RudeSprinkles1240: I'm glad you're okay. That could have been bad.
Cat_Momma_0215: Thanks. I luckily caught it early cuz my dad thought it was one of my panic attacks but i was like no this is different. I know how my panic attacks feel and this was not it.
| 3 | 10 | |
1658529930 | 1658561538 | t3_w5nqm5 | t5_2to41 | 154 | sendy_side: TIFU by microwaving my dinner naked
Well it goes about how the title would lead you to believe. Please excuse any grammatical mistakes as im on mobile, also never posted here before so I hope this doesn't go against the vulgarity rules. Now to the fuck up.
The set up for this is that I travel for work, and they put me up in a hotel while I'm away from home. I choose to buy microwavable meals instead of going out to eat, because it's much cheaper. I got off work, hit the gym, took a shower, and, like normal, didn't put clothes back on. Popped my dinner in the microwave, some spicy penne and meatballs dish. Cooked it per the instructions, pulled it out the microwave and sat it on the little table that hotel rooms have. Coincidentally waist height (that's important). Before I could enjoy my meal, however, my phone went off so I walked across the room to check it. My wife had sent me some, shall we say, spicy pictures. I was excited about these pictures, having been away from her all week, so I replied, sat my phone back down, and walked back over to my dinner, which was still visibly steaming. I heard my phone buzz again, turned around, decided it could wait 3 minutes for me to eat, turned back around and the worst thing that could have happened, happened. My dick bounced up from the movement of my hips as I was turning, and settled back down was I was facing my dinner. Sadly, with how close to the edge of the table I had placed my steaming hot microwavable meatball dish, this meant there was now an unplanned sausage in the midst of these meatballs. It. Was. Hot. The heat didn't hit me at first, but after I looked down and saw what was going on, I yelled, jumped, realized there was still burning hot spaghetti sauce on the underside of my shaft, tried to frantically wipe it away, smacked the head of my still mostly erect member, screamed again, and scrambled, cussing all the way, into a cold shower. The commotion alerted my coworker who is in the hotel room next to mine, and he came knocking on my door and calling me to see what was going on. After I had cleaned up and cooled down, I explained to him what had happened. He almost died of laughter. I the called my wife, hoping for sympathy. No. She almost died of laughter. Now I'm sitting here, typing this out, with a slightly burnt dick and shame in my heart, my dinner ruined and growing cold in the trash can. I can only imagine what the guys at work will be calling me come Monday.
TL;DR, I was cooking a microwavable meal naked with a boner and accidently dropped my dick in the steaming hot food, then smacked it trying to get the sauce off. The guys at work and my wife know and find it hilarious.
thelibrarian_cz: Why did you throw out the food? 🤣
sendy_side: It was a reminder of my fuck up and brought shame upon me. Also I couldn't look at it the same after violating it the way I did. Or maybe it violated me?
micro012: eat the thing that wronged your penis, as revenge. thats how you assert dominance.
[deleted]: This is the way
| 5 | 30.8 | |
1658532904 | 1658572656 | t3_w5ouxk | t5_2to41 | 8,979 | PenMachineGuin: TIFU by jizzing over a house fly
[removed]
Reticular_Impulse: I think that's enough internet for today.
rashman6969: I’ve always cringed at people that leave this comment, but this is actually it
Cold_Zero_: I think that’s enough internet for today
zero989: Enough today for internet think I that's
imatacoguy: Internet today for enough that’s think I
itsjimbob: Today internet enough I think that's for.
Logan20th: Think I for internet that's today enough.
BBQ_Beanz: .ʜϱυonɘ γɒbot ƨ'tɒʜt tɘnɿɘtni ɿoʇ I ʞniʜT
GreenstarX922: I kniht s'taht hguone rof tenretni yadot
i_lik3w0m3n: ɥƃnouǝ ʎɐpoʇ ʞuᴉɥʇ I ʇǝuɹǝʇuᴉ ɹoɟ s,ʇɐɥʇ
| 11 | 816.272727 | |
1658533409 | 1658535675 | t3_w5p1h8 | t5_2to41 | 1 | EAT_UR_VEGGIES: TIFU by having sexy sexy sex
[removed]
RudeSprinkles1240: And then you totally shat yourself. A volcano came rolling out of you and it smelled bad!
EAT_UR_VEGGIES: Great assumption! Due to my strong body odor (I don’t clean myself or brush my teeth as that detracts from my ability to tell my totally awesome and real sexy stories) I do not need to “shit” myself as I already smell musky enough with my big boy smells to attract the women.
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1658533975 | 1658617581 | t3_w5p8n1 | t5_2to41 | 9 | throwaway07232022: TIFU by accidentally showing my tool to my coworker
Emotions are still pretty high.
Near the end of my shift I went to the restroom to pee. I had to go bad so I simply ran in and handled my business forgetting to lock the door. After I peed I just had the urge to rub one out and went to town. Midway through it I heard the door being jiggled. I turn off my phone with my left hand but have trouble hiding my tool in my pants with the right one so I motioned to put my phone in my pocket in order to free it up and put away the tool. I wasn’t fast enough and my coworker walked in, saw my face, saw my left hand with the phone near my waist and my other hand gripping my shaft with the head exposed, said omg and closed the door. In the moment she said omg I said oh shit. Her face was in shock and uncomfortable she was simply an innocent victim from my mistake and carelessness. I felt immediately guilty and put up everything and went straight to my car post washing my hands and having to pass her along the way out of necessity. I’m super embarrassed as I think of her as a good work friend who is several years younger. I naturally have a guilty conscience and feel worse since her sibling is a good personal friend as well. Even though I know her my job is at risk and I know the dynamic has changed. But I don’t want to communicate with her from now on as a result of the shame. All bc I didn’t lock the door or at the very least turned away from the door and yelled during the jiggling of the door knob.
TL;DR coworker saw my firm tool bc I didn’t lock the restroom door.
AcrobaticSource3: > After I peed I just had the urge to rub one out
Interesting, guys have told me they prefer to rub one out first and then pee because the pee helps clean out any excess semen
mooknbitz: Depends on how full the bladder is. If it’s full up it gets in the way. That said, I’m sure there are a few people who like the urge to pee and flogging sensation, but they are lunatics.
AcrobaticSource3: I learned in school that guys actually can’t get a full erection when they have the urge to pee, something about how the urethra works
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1658532925 | 1658534961 | t3_w5ov7p | t5_2to41 | 15 | ViperSlayer261: TIFU by saying my friend’s laugh sounded like Peter Griffin.
This happened about 10 minutes ago. Me and my best friend since 2018 were talking about Stranger Things and making jokes about the characters, cause why not. Specifically, we were talking about Eddie and Steve and laughing like the idiots we are.
My friend has many mental illnesses and insecurities about himself stemming from emotional abuse, and so his self esteem is fucked and he despises himself. I have a shit memory so I don’t exactly remember what led up to it, but we were doing scenarios with the characters and I made a joke. He laughed, and I said that his laugh sounded like Peter Griffin. My friend absolutely despises his laugh and has said that multiple times to me, I haven’t ever made fun of his laugh in a mean way, but I slipped up and forgot, sending him into a depressive spiral. He’s been bullied all his life for his appearance and my comment just broke him. He started sobbing and talking about his insecurities and how he wants to look different as I tried to apologize for my fuck up. It doesn’t help that he is transgender and hates his body enough already, not to mention his parents keep calling his voice, laugh, and body weird. I feel so fucking idiotic right now.
TL;DR: I said my friend’s laugh sounded like Peter Griffin and uncovered years of insecurities and trauma related to his appearance. You know, like a dumbass.
Kemel90: Sounds like your friend needs professional help. You just slipped, it sucks, but it's not your fault. Try to low key steer them in that direction if that is an option at all.
ViperSlayer261: I can’t do jack shit to help him with anything anymore. I managed to help him convince his parents to let him go to therapy but I didn’t think it’s helping..
| 3 | 5 | |
1658530161 | 1658567641 | t3_w5ntr2 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Better-Elk5585: TIFU by eating a milkshake
Well. It happened. Drinking dairy has finally come back to bite me in the ass
Backstory: I just had wisdom teeth surgery about a week ago, I'm cleared to eat real food now but I've been taking it easy and eating mostly soft things like yogurt, jello, etc.
Because of this impromptu softs only diet I have not shit in a week. I was so bloated but I thought it would clear up and I would poop eventually and everything would be fine and dandy. I think you guys know that it is not fine or dandy.
Today my grandma went into town, I stayed home because I was having a chronic pain flare up and was taking it easy. Before she left I asked her to get me a milkshake on her way home. Thank you grandma I love you
Time comes and I get my milkshake, contently eating my wonderful chocolate dairy confection. I finish and then I feel it. The Rumbles. I think we all know what The Rumbles are. I sigh and make my way to the bathroom, standard procedure, I know I have a sensitive stomach and it's a 50/50 flip between whether dairy is gonna bother me. I sit down on the toilet and then my bowels start moving as normal. Then the pain hits. Oh my god. My asshole felt like it was being stabbed and torn. Holy SHIT. I'm gripping the little wicker shelf that's older than I am for dear life.
Then relief. The first bits are done, I wipe and oh GOD JESUS CHRIST. THERES FUCKING BLOOD. I know I'm on my period but I have s tampon in. The only source of blood has to bee from my asshole. Then the second movement. It hurts SO BAD. the shit is hard and it's coming out so slowly I pray to God for forgiveness, I apologize for leaving the faith, I apologize for being a little goth freak, I repent for all my sins. And then, done, its all over. I am done shitting.
A whole week of shit, hard rock solid shit. In the bowl. The water is red with my blood. My ass hurts so bad I waddle back to the room after I wash my hands. I feel 100 pounds lighter. But unfortunately I'm still feeling the stomach cramps as I lay in bed writing this. I'm afraid that this is only the beginning.
Tl;Dr: had wisdom teeth surgery, didn't shit for a week. Ate a milkshake and had a bowel movement of rock hard shit that made me bleed.
booklost: FYI, if you were taking an opioid for pain during this time there's a really good chance that was the cause of your constipation.
Better-Elk5585: Yeah I was on an opioid called narco I think?? So that probably contributed lol
| 3 | 5 | |
1658536849 | 1658538007 | t3_w5q8ru | t5_2to41 | 33 | Character_Garden9828: Tifu by scarring my little sister very badly
Today me and my friends went out in our little town with my little sister since my mother wanted me to take her and we had a pretty normal day. Towards the end me and my frinds being idiot teenagers decided to do stupid things like rideing My bike around with fire works attached to it, ding dong ditching, and other stupid things teens do. We got the cops called on us and they showed up and this scared my sister along with the other things we had done and she went from whinnying to crying pretty fast. After the cops showed up they told us to go back home and not do what we we’re doing, on our way back my sister didn’t talk to any of us much which was strange since she has never met a stranger. When I got home I left my sister alone for a little bit until around dinner time when i tried to talk to her and ask what she thought of the day In whivh she responded with something along the lines “i don’t want to be around you and your friends anymore you are scary.” I don’t know why and I know that she is pretty young but this absolutely just tore me apart, just the thought of my little sister not wanting to be around me and thinking I’m scary just messes with my head. I don’t know what to really do but I think she may get over this in a little bit. TL;DR
edit: scaring not scarring sorry autocorrect messed that up
icedtea4all: Ohhhhhhh, *scaring.* You scared me, too.
Character_Garden9828: Autocorrect is a hoe, sorry
icedtea4all: You're golden.
Character_Garden9828: Yay!
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1658560053 | 1658561440 | t3_w5n5nw | t5_2to41 | 49 | HandoJobrissian: Doesn't feel very good when you're on the recieving end, does it?
Hawk3y305: i never did anything to anyone else lol, ive been laughing with how dumb you talk, keep it up
HandoJobrissian: It's interesting the course you've taken after being told you were wrong.
Hawk3y305: i was told i was wrong, am i? yeah. i admitted that, tf y got a problem w? i genuinely dont know at this point. im glad u find my course interesting lol ik in extremely interesting
HandoJobrissian: You seem awfully aggressive and defensive for someone who is in the wrong and could have avoided everything by simply saying nothing at all.
Hawk3y305: u could also avoid wasting ur time by not replying to me lol. ur getting mad over here for no reason meanwhile in laughing my ass off w my friends on discord. im not being defensive btw literally said i was wrong, and my friends say hi
HandoJobrissian: im literally playing mario kart and eating chips, I'm very far from mad. Sorry you feel that way. I hope you learn how to communicate properly in the future.
Hawk3y305: OMG NO WAY!! U DIDNT PROPERLY FORMAT "I'm" OMG GLOBAL EMERGENCY AGDJDJDHGVFSGSF
HandoJobrissian: Uh, ok. Sure. Whatever the hell you just said.
Hawk3y305: yep im right ur wrong ahahahha ofofjshbdbzn i hate working and men bc im a lazy asshole jagdgux
HandoJobrissian: okie dokie, then
Hawk3y305: btw to be on the receiving end is quite enjoyable as u asked earlier but im sure ur uncle made sure u knew that omg where r ur periods and punctuation and capitalization? omg this is so sad, go post me on another subreddit pls i want attention
HandoJobrissian: At this point, you're just speaking pure gibberish I'm gonna be honest with ya.
Hawk3y305: omg the capitalization is back thank god and no pfff this is my harvard edumatcatdd phd in words and im actually super smart omg idk wym jibersh keep wasting ur time its super fun
HandoJobrissian: ok
Hawk3y305: ok
HandoJobrissian: yuh
Hawk3y305: yuh supa kool
| 18 | 2.722222 | |
1658538301 | 1658830405 | t3_w5qqk5 | t5_2to41 | 132 | Scubapro54: TIFU when saving 2 drowning people
So this happened yesterday. I'm out fishing on an inlet during a strong incoming tide. I got my lure stuck on some rocks, a hint I should have taken notice of. While Im putting a new lure on I notice 2 women struggling against the current. They get sucked into the inlet and are quickly in over their head. I see them doing the death stroke so I stripped down to my underwear, run down the rocks and jump in. It was way more shallow than I thought and hit bottom hard. At the time I thought wow, that sucked. I swam over, grabbed the lady who looked to be in the most trouble and dragged her back to where she could stand. Sprinted back to the other lady snd dragged her back too. I stopped to catch my breath and then the adrenalin started to wear off. My ankle was fucked. I went to the emergency room this morning. Its not broken but it's bruised and swollen and I can barely walk. No good deed goes unpunished. I should have entered the water in a more safe matter.
TL:DR Messed my ankle up jumping in the water to save some people.
IAmDaChip: Did they give you sex as a reward
GANDALF_7691: You're mixing up the real world and your fantasies
rameshjhokla1234: man what a karen. Let the dude ask something, its fun
Jism_Prism: You don't even understand what a 'Karen' is
rameshjhokla1234: ok sure, if you say so
| 6 | 22 | |
1658539016 | 1658616107 | t3_w5qz79 | t5_2to41 | 3,754 | stellarmagnus: TIFU by shaving my ass before a colonoscopy
So a couple days ago there was an AskReddit asking anesthesiologists what was the weirdest thing they heard a patient say before going under. One of the top upvoted comments said a young female patient had sat up and said "I shaved my asshole for you!" before laying back down and going under. I am 99% sure this was me. Let me explain.
I've been having daily constipation for almost a year now and would occasionally see blood in my stool, even after I started taking a stool softener to control the constipation. I've also been getting very painful cramps often accompanied with diarrhea about once a month for the last four years, so I went to see a GI to hopefully get an answer. Before anyone asks, I'm trans so even though it seems like period cramps, it's (probably?) not. Anyways after having to convince the GI who assured me it was probably just IBS, to at least order a colonoscopy to rule out anything serious, I ended up having the operation back in February. But you're not here for my unexplained medical problems.
As I mentioned before, I'm trans, so I'm very hairy down there thanks to all the testosterone I used to have in my body. I usually like to keep everything trimmed because I'm very conscious about my ass seeming gross, especially if someone is going to be digging around back there. So the day before I started prep, I used my body hair trimmer so my asshole wouldn't like like an overgrown jungle and that it wouldn't get super disgusting from having to completely empty out my bowels for the next two days.
After having to endure the misery that was prep and having to drink a massive amount of what tasted like sour milk (the lemon flavoring was a mistake), I went in to have my colonoscopy. I'd only been under once before and that was a long time ago, so I was a little bit nervous about what I might say or do. My ADHD brain says the weirdest shit even when I'm sober. I barely have a filter, so you can imagine I was extra worried.
Well, when I got to the operating room and started to be put under, I started thinking about all the prep I had to do and the fact that someone was about to shove a camera up my asshole when a random thought came to my head. "I shaved my asshole for you!" At first I couldn't tell if it was something I had said out loud, but no one seemed to react, so I assumed it was just an internal thought. Apparently it was not. When I saw that AskReddit comment, I froze because I immediately recognized those words.
And if you're wondering, the colonoscopy went well and they didn't find anything except for a noncancerous polyp. Oh well, I continue to suffer with no answers to my issues. I also apparently have a high metabolism, and woke up in the middle of the procedure, so that was fun. I'll have to tell the anesthesiologist about that next time, and maybe I ought to warn them that I tend to say some weird stuff before going under.
TL;DR I trimmed my asshole before a colonoscopy because I'm very hairy down there, and apparently I ended up saying to the anesthesiologist just before going under that "I shaved my asshole for you!"
ProfessorAnusNipples: Well, now I want to know if it was you the person from AskReddit was talking about. Send a message to the person who posted the comment. Ask them what city it was in or some other specific detail, if they’re comfortable telling you. I need to know. We all need to know.
TaoChi27: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/w3vre0/comment/igzsil9/
Magnaflux_88: Absolutely this. Let them at least see this thread.
kindersaft: You don't think this person made it up because of the ask Reddit thread?
Zpik3: I think it's made up. Have a hard time thinking that a doctor would tell a story about a "female" patient if there is a nutsack you gotta slide to the side to get up the ass, no matter how much they'd adhere to preferred pronouns with the patient.
sfxpaladin: Did you ever consider OP could be post op? Dumbass
Zpik3: They aren't because I checked post history. Dip-shit.
fbipandagirl: Wow, just because OP didn’t post about being post-op, it must mean they’re not!! Amazing!!! /s
Zpik3: No, because OP DID post about NOT being post-op you fucking dolt.
Since you have trouble reading, let me copypaste for you:
"Most recent thing I've noticed is that my mons pubis has gotten somewhat more pronounced, not visibly but I can definitely feel a mound as I slide my hand down my pelvis. There's also a little dip right above my genitals. I can actually push my finger into it as if there's a hole behind my penis, but haven't really explored it much because I'm worried about potentially causing pain or damage.
My genitals have not only gotten slightly smaller, but have also changed shape. My penis was already pretty small (when not erect) to begin with, but now it's almost always at about two inches length. My scrotum kind of wraps around it making a little pocket for it. If only I could stop having erections, I'd really feel like it's just a very large clitoris."
I'm no doctor, but this sounds pre-op to me.
stellarmagnus: I had no idea there was going to be so much enthusiasm over what kind of genitals I have. You people are strange lol
Zpik3: Honestly it's not about that, you have whatever you feel you should have, none of our beeswax.
It just turned into the only "proof" to give to an (imo unrelated) argument.
Sorry to have to crosspost your personal stuff like this... I kinda feel bad about it.
| 12 | 312.833333 | |
1658539611 | 1658540409 | t3_w5r6hk | t5_2to41 | 9 | NikShumaker: TIFU by walking home during a thunderstorm
Posted this a while ago on r/michigan. Here's my near death experience!
Well, shit.
So, I almost died.
For context, Northern michigan just got hit with a severe thunderstorm. I think if you are reading this you know that already.
School ended for the day, and I thought this was going to be a storm with just heavy rain, so I decided to walk home. Two blocks couldn't be that bad, right?
I was wrong.
I started walking, and roughly 20ft away, lightning struck. I shit myself, but kept walking. I passed the normal 4-way intersection and started to get pelted by hail. I kept walking. I passed the alleyway near my house, and immediately, the weather kicked up to the point that I couldn't see 4ft in front of me and I was being pushed forward.
Then I knew I fucked up.
I started running, and ducked behind a neighbors car for cover.
The storm decided to play with me.
I ducked behind the car, and a tree branch fell over top of me. The only reason I was fine was because my backpack took the impact.
So, lesson learned, overconfidence is a flimsy shield.
TL:DR
Death in the shape of a storm showed me that I, in fact, am a total idiot.
bscross32: Eyy, stories to tell the grandkids who'll squirm and say yep, I've heard that a thousand times. It's the spice of life!
NikShumaker: True. A deadly spice though.
| 3 | 3 | |
1658539462 | 1658550476 | t3_w5r4of | t5_2to41 | 40 | enochs_got_issues_: TIFU by Watching my Parents have Sex
This was last night, around 23:00. It is currently 13:02 and I have not moved from my hiding spot since this took place.
So, my(13m) family has decided to take a week long vacation to Gulf Shoals lake in Arkansas, on a 50 foot long house boat. The rest of the boat doesn't matters just the top portion at this point.
Inside of the interior of the boat is a latter, leading to upper most room. The upper room has a small door that leads to the roof of the boat (think the door from Coraline.) From the roof, you can see the back deck and swimming platform.
Now, I had decided that I wanted to go up to the roof and stargaze. So, I went to the roof of the boat. I was not supposed to be up there at the time, so I was trying to be as silent ad possible. As I crawled away from the hot air blowing out of the AC on the roof, I stepped on a loud bit of the roof and froze. My dad went out to see what it was but, fortunately, didn't catch me.
Instead of deciding to go back inside, he began to fish. After a few minutes of him trying and failing to catch a fish, my mum walked out, asking what the hold up was. I couldn't quite catch the entire conversation, but soon, my mum was putting her hand down my father's pants.
The way I was positioned was that I could see them perfectly, illuminated by the back light, but they couldn't see me unless they were looking for a person in specific because of how dark it was. And I couldn't move, because if I did, the roof would make the loud noise again and I decided that listening to my parents have intercourse was better than having to get whipped with a switch on the bank for being on the top of the boat for too long. I was already there for too long, so Satan knows what they would have done, knowing I had watched them have sex for as long as I did.
So, I stayed there, struggling to focus on the stars and dragonflies having midair fights above me instead of my mother's muffled groans and my father announcing how close he was.
Once they were done, they went back inside to their respective parts of the boat and I stayed on the roof, waiting for them to go to sleep and contemplating if life was worth living after the horror I was forced to witness for nearly thirty minutes straight. After an hour, or so, I decided to crawl back into the upper room, lock the door and stare at the bugs on the wall for the rest of the night.
I'm currently watching The Addams Family series and adding this to my 'Notes of Things to Tell my Therapist' journal. I don't know where to go from here and I've never regretted not following one of my parents stupid rules more.
TL;DR I was stuck on top of a house boat and forced to watch my parents have sex for half an hour
Narrow-Big7087: > ~~TL;DR I was stuck on top of a house boat and forced to watch my parents have sex for half an hour~~
TL;DR Now I know what floats my Dad's boat: my Mom
FTFY
TheChuck76: As always the gold is in commenilike yours buddy,cheers!!
DQ5E: I like that, commenilike, can i use it?
TheChuck76: Lol,yes you may,sorry , usual cellphone shenanigans
| 5 | 8 | |
1658540361 | 1658541818 | t3_w5rfs9 | t5_2to41 | 41 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #35! Come share your stories and hang out! Happy Friday! :)
Axeleg: How do you get allowed to voice chat? I had input into living into Aus lol
JC1812: Click the Raise hand icon.
heavenlybois: Lemme speak pls
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1658541002 | 1658555180 | t3_w5rnl2 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU By staring a fight with some stronger than me
[deleted]
RSwordsman: You know there's a saying out there, "You win every fight you're not in." It's not too late to back out. I read the title thinking "Eh well martial arts are all about beating someone stronger than you because you shouldn't need it for someone weaker." But you're describing this as like Mike Tyson versus Mike from *Stranger Things* and there's no reason to subject yourself to that if you think you're gonna get murdered. If you tell him never mind and he still fights you, it's assault and battery rather than mutual combat.
syfyjoe: I completely agree with you however it's gotten to the point nobody will say anything or even try tell him to leave. I will happily take this beating for this monster to have something legally put against him
RSwordsman: > to have something legally put against him
I only studied the laws for FL when I lived there, but there two people are allowed to consent to a fight and nobody gets in trouble with the cops. It might be similar where you are in which case all you'd get is congratulations for being brave.
syfyjoe: I may may need to study the law but if it comes to him getting banned from every establishment in town its worth it. Thank you for the reasoning and for the advice
GFingerProd: The sanctity of your local bar isn't worth the ass kicking
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1658541786 | 1658544787 | t3_w5rx19 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Ms_BloodnGore: TIFU by forgetting where I left a used tampon
[removed]
Silvyrn: [Context gave this meme new life. ](https://i.imgur.com/jYyhIcR.jpg)
Eraevn: Thanks for that, reminded me of an old Tumblr post from back in the day about a girl who would freeze her used tampons to make a tea (twilight craziness) and some random bit about someone mixing their menstrual blood into pasta sauces.... more scarred from those memories than from this poor ladies story lol
Silvyrn: Lol. Glad to keep the nostalgia going.
also thanks for reminding of this cursed fan fic
[schadenfreude-gets-pizza/marenara-sauce](https://www.fimfiction.net/story/441129/1/schadenfreude-gets-pizza/marenara-sauce)
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1658544919 | 1658617928 | t3_w5sy9z | t5_2to41 | 9 | Insane_Vendetta: TIFU by reading a text wrong
This happened like 30 min ago. I had a really great date earlier today with this wonderful woman. During the date she was telling me the hobbies she has and the other things she does in the side to make a bit of extra money i.e. cut hair, makes and sells enchiladas that sort of thing. I jokingly replied "what no only fans?". She looked at me with a blank look on her face and said, "What? What is that?" I was flabbergasted and didn't really want to explain onlyfans to her on our first date. So I kinda side stepped it and we went about our date, had a great time then I took her home. After I got home I sent her the "I had such a great time, I hope we can do it again soon" to which she replied "me to, what was that thing you asked me earlier about" again I begrudgingly replied with "Onlyfans". A few min later she replied "you think I'm web cam material?" And i told her "absolutely, you looked hot as hell today" to which she replied "so, you want to pay me" this... this right here is where I misread a text and dug myself into a hole that I don't know if I can get out of. You see mine reader, what my brain read was "So, what you want to pay me?" And me thinking we're having some witty playful joking banter replied "Well, what you chargin?" And she replied "Oh My God". Not OMG, she spelled it out. That should have been a red flag but my dumb ass replied "lol, what?" "I think you'd be worth it." Then followed it up with a "Too far" after she didn't answer for a few min. Then after a few more min of no reply I finally went back and re-read the conversation... and that's when I relaized I fucked up..... bad.
TLDR: Misread a text message and totally didn't catch the text tone and fucked up my chances of a second date.
Rosey991: Not really your fault. Lmao
Fit_Ad_7681: I don't know, while unintentional, he did kind of imply that he thought she should be on online prostitute.
Rosey991: She brought up only fans first, she brought up the pay first.
Fit_Ad_7681: He brought up onlyfans on the date, then dodged the question of what it was. She did bring up the pay thing first though.
Insane_Vendetta: I did bring it up, but it was 100% a joke, a joke she didn't get. But maybe that is bad form. Guess it depends on the personality.
Fit_Ad_7681: I'm not saying you tried to say something bad, I'm just saying that's likely how it looked. We all make mistakes, don't beat yourself up over it.
Insane_Vendetta: Yeah, just gotta move on.
| 8 | 1.125 | |
1658544763 | 1658580158 | t3_w5swec | t5_2to41 | -2 | ckyeet: TIFU by confessing
Obligatory did not happen today, but the effects are still being experienced today so i guess it still counts.
I (M) have a crush on my college classmate (F). I talked to her about a subject last May 15, since I liked her, being a classmate was a great chance to talk to her and that was when we started talking since we just hit it off right away, I was lucky.
A few weeks pass, we still keep talking and now I think that she likes me as well since she goes out of her way to talk with me. (I'm kind of dense with these situations). With that thought in mind, I thought about confessing on my birthday, which was somewhere in July.
I did confess at like 1 in the morning and then slept because I was scared to confront what the answer would be. To my surprise, even though the answer was not what I wanted, I was fine with it.
We talked about some of her past experiences in romance right after that day and such. It turned into a venting session for her and I was there to listen to her. (We all did this through facebook messenger since we haven't met irl due to online classes as well as she lives 1 to 2 hours away from me.)
Then the monday cones after all this, she suddenly goes quiet, and I get worried because it may be because of what I just did. Few days pass and she tells me that she was not "mentally stable". I understand, I sometimes deactivate my account when I want to disconnect.
But there's something like a wall now that was put up during that period. I can't seem to just casually talk with her now since I keep thinking that I may be a bother and that she doesn't actually like talking to me. (She did assure me that she did like talking to me and that I wasnt a bother but people may say things to not hurt you, right?)
Fast forward to now, we've barely talked now that vacation has come. When we have conversatioms, it just gets cut off because she does not see my reply, and will not see it until I send another message like the next day.
I do hope she will be ok, if she says she is not. I'm just kind of disappointed in myself since she was the first person I admired after two years of being not social with other people and now I just probably lost my chance by being me. Also, I want to say that her answer to my confession was ok for me, it did not leave saltiness in me since i liked being her friend as well.
Tl;dr: I like girl, we talk. I confess on my bday which was a month and a few weeks after May 15. After confession, she goes quiet, says shes not stable. After that, i feel a wall has been put up and trying to make a conversation is now hard.
IAmDaChip: Nice guys always finish last😞
ckyeet: No, i dont have that kind of mindset
IAmDaChip: It was just a joke. Holy shit y’all downvote anything💀
| 4 | -0.5 | |
1658545046 | 1658545847 | t3_w5szqv | t5_2to41 | 4 | LQQKup: TIFU by eating the rest of the churros
Happened just now and I wish it hadn’t…
Took my wife on a date day before I leave for work for a week. Had a great time at the salon getting her hair washed and dried, a wonderful time at the aquarium and a great dinner at this taco place. We got churros for dessert but she was pretty full so only had a few bites. I had half the dessert as I usually do in a situation like this given that I make up 50% of our family. We took the rest to go home.
When we got home, I mowed the grass, came back inside and took a shower. I heated the churros up and took them into the living room where she was sitting. I started eating what was left. I then quickly approached finishing what was left. In this, I incorrectly assumed she was still full from dinner. It didn’t even cross my mind that she would want any due to how full she said she was at the restaurant. I got to the last bite as she realized what was happening. She burst into tears. She was not happy that I didn’t ask her if she wanted any. It was a genuine mistake…if I thought there was a percentage chance she wanted any, I would have shared what was left. But I was in cinnamon and dough heaven and my otherwise good judgement was clouded resulting in my failure to check in and see if she wanted any. And now I have to re-balance the churro scales.
TL:DR - wife and I got churros for dessert. I ate my share at the restaurant. She was too full and chose not to eat her share. I incorrectly believed she was still full and ate hers later that day. She cried and I feel awful.
AusGeo: You'll think twice before doing that again.
ls952: No sex for OP for months /s
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658544778 | 1658585573 | t3_w5swkf | t5_2to41 | 24 | guess_who_09: TIFU by drying my wife's favorite cat.
Obligatory, this happened about 5 years ago.
This one is short, and fucked up. At least for me it was.
I hate folding laundry. Therefore, most mornings before getting into the shower I throw the clothes I'm going to wear for work into the dryer with a wet cloth or ice cubes to get the wrinkles out. That being said, my wife is a borderline crazy cat lady, and we've had at minimum 3 cats since we've had an apartment that allowed. One of these cats was her absolute favorite cat ever, but he was a mischievous little man, and would get into everyrhing he possibly could. I'm sure you see where this is going.
After I came down from my shower I opened the dryer to what I can only describe as something that's haunted me until this day and I can never forget. I had to call my wife panicking and ran him out barefoot to my car to the nearest vet ER only to be told the inevitable. My wife of course came shortly after and was completely devestated. I will never forgive myself for this accident, and it still upsets me to think about. I currently own 4 cats and 2 dogs, and constantly have nightmares about the different ways they could die.
TL;DR: I killed my wife's favorite cat and have PTSD from it.
Quiet_paddler: That's brutal. Have you given yourself proper time and space to process what happened?
guess_who_09: I'm not sure what you mean by that. It's been 5 years, and my wife forgave me. I've seen one of my animals die due to my negligence, and that's now always in the back of my mind.
emveor: Processing it also means forgiving one self. Either an accident or by being careless, it helps to remember we are not the same person we were back then, we learn and evolve, and punishing oneself over things in the past is pointless
Quiet_paddler: This!
| 5 | 4.8 | |
1658545414 | 1658545809 | t3_w5t4b6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not using the syringe enough post-wisdom teeth surgery
[deleted]
Hollowplanet: Wasn't the blood clot supposed to fill up the holes? I never heard of a syringe.
Jazzlike_Buy6331: It filled the top ones… but no, the bottom two remain open…
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1658546508 | 1658632375 | t3_w5tha2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU I took my moms vibe And can’t put it back
[deleted]
Vladmirfox: Uhh why not just buy your own?
bellas_mommy: Desperation
ali4truth: Why is this getting downvoted? Haven’t we all done stupid stuff when horny?
LittleBoiFound: Not that.
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1658539203 | 1658547813 | t3_w5r1gq | t5_2to41 | 31 | throwbecausenaked: TIFU by waterboarding my friend on her patio in an inflatable pool to recreate a TikTok.
OKAY I dont know if I should be embarrassed or not but years ago I hooked up with this cute guy from tinder it was like a short lived hookup and we went our separate ways lol.
So fast forward to tonight. I'm waterboarding my friend to make that IM THIRSTY..... bucket of water to the face.... REFRESHING tiktok right.
So we're in a decent sized inflatable pool we filled with large buckets 🪣 on her condo patio. I'm DUMPIN massive buckets of water on her face and we are being absolutely unhinged losing it laughing on tiktok live.
My turn comes and I am terrified because I just poured like 4 buckets of water on my friends face to get the shot and she's now standing over me like an absolutely maniacal drowned rat with a grin like the cheshire cat and I’m yelling in between laughs like I KNOW UR GON FK ME UP... I KNOW IT. IM SCARED AHAHAHHA
This must have gone on for like 10 rounds of just absolutely drownin each other in buckets of water. I swear it gets in every hole in your head. I see this man on the patio eating his pasta and we’re like whatever play it up never gonna see this person again.
The universe let out a fkn cackle at this point like HA U THOUGHT GIRL because GUESS WHO THE MAN CRACKING UP AT US WHILE EATING HIS PASTA WAS. MY GODDAMN TINDER DATE FROM YEARS AGO BRUH.
He messages me on instagram saying he couldnt see the pool and thought we were just “Two birds torturing each other” and he was like yeah watched it all go down quite funny that.
TL;DR my friend and I were waterboarding each other dumping buckets on our faces to recreate a TikTok and a one night stand I had watched from his patio without me knowing 😹😭
myaltaltaltacct: I think the appropriate comment here is "small world".
throwbecausenaked: Hahaha truly 😭
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1658549747 | 1658712602 | t3_w5ujy9 | t5_2to41 | 5 | patrick505883: TIFU by stealing my parents liquor
(This is a long one, TLDR at the end)
So it was a normal day of grinding the Cayo Perico heist on GTA Online. I had been sober for like a month now. My parents left to go to shopping for groceries, and so my ass had the brilliant idea to look for the liquor which they had hidden for a while now. While I don't feel comfortable disclosing my age, I must admit that I am well below the age of 21, the legal drinking age in my country. So anyways, I am now in my parents room looking for the alcohol. Closet after closet, drawer after drawer, with no bottles in sight. I try one last closet, and what do you know. The all too familiar sight of my parent's liquor collection. I had a backpack and so, I start loading the son of a b\*\*\*\* up. I took a small bottle of beer, a big ass bottle of whiskey, a small bottle of gin, and a giant bottle of rum. I had put the rum and the whiskey into my backpack and I couldn't believe it was that easy. And just as I was thinking that to myself, I hear a door slam behind me. My sister (an adult) comes in and says "What the f\*\*\* do you think you're doing?". I stood there speechless. She took away the alcohol and told me that what I was doing was wrong, but promised not to tell my parents. And so just like that I got off the hook, with no consequences.
​
But I didn't leave it at that.
​
I am still quite spooked by the situation, so to calm myself down I decide to go and bake cookies in the kitchen. Meanwhile, my sisters are in the living room (which is directly connected to my kitchen with no door or wall so I am completely in sight) watching the office. I could see how focused they were on the TV, and so I realized that now was my second chance. Can't believe alcohol has such a grasp on me that I would be possessed to go to the same place I got caught and try again not even 15 minutes later. So, I yell to my sisters from the kitchen "Hey, the cookies are in the oven, I'm gonna go on a short bike ride while I wait". I open the garage door and close it without leaving so that they'd think I had left. I then proceed my way upstairs, and I managed to do so without making a single sound. I then crawled in the floor into my parents room to avoid detection. I proceeded cautiously to the closet and upon my arrival, I stuffed the mini bottle of gin in one of my pockets (I have large pockets) and the bottle of beer in the other. Then I carry the whiskey in one hand and the rum in the other. And so, I proceed my way downstairs, again without making a single noise. I then open the garage and quickly put the alcohol in a hidden area and quickly closed the garage door to make it seem like I was coming inside from a bike ride. And holy shit, my crazy plan actually worked. Or so I had thought. My sisters were completely oblivious as to what I had done, up until this point. Red flag No.1: I took the cookies out of the oven and simply went to my room without even looking at them, causing my sisters to believe I was preoccupied with something else, which I was in fact. Red flag No.2: I walk out of my room with a backpack, but not just a backpack, the same backpack I had been caught with once before. Quite an unsuitable choice if you ask me. Red flag No.3: I entered the garage which was in full sight of the living room that my sisters were in, with the backpack on. I entered the garage and waited about 5 min. Nothing happened and so I assumed the coast was clear. And there I was, yet again, stuffing my backpack with these drinks. Then, from inside, I start to hear footsteps coming. I immediately take everything out of my bag and rush to the cabinet, but by then it's too late. My other sister comes in and sees my reaching the bottle into the cabinet. She says "I already saw it, may as well just admit it". And so that's what I did. I come inside with my sister and my other sister (the one who had caught me earlier) was standing there, looking at me menacingly. She started talking to me about how I could die from this (alcohol may not seem too dangerous, but she's right, and on top of that I'm very underweight and I take medications which don't go well with alcohol) and she began telling me the story of her friend, the same age as me at the time, same scenario. Her friend was on a medication which was dangerous when mixed with alcohol and as a result, her very own friend from school had died at my age from alcohol poisoning. She kept on going on and on and on, until eventually she said "Addiction is serious, it can't just be broken that easily". To which my dumbass responded with "Yeah, as if you'd know". And holy s\*\*\*, she ripped me a new one. She started jumping up and down, screaming at the top of her lungs, so loud it could've shattered glass, that she would know because she lost a friend to the same exact stuff that I had been doing. She then calmed down and broke out into tears. I instantly felt a wave of guilt come over me, as I had never seen my sister like this. And so the three of us, me and my two sisters, had came to a synonymous conclusion that I needed urgent help. It was decided that they would tell my dad (laid back and chill) but not my mom (harsh and at times abusive). I tried to convince them otherwise but after a few minutes, I accepted defeat and gave up. And so my parents then came home and asked from help bringing in groceries and that was the end of it.
​
But guess what, it wasn't actually the end of it.
​
When I did this was when I knew my addiction was bad. So I had brought in a few items but then lagged behind the rest of my family. Eventually, everyone was outside getting groceries from the car, while I was inside, alone. I rushed up the stairs, and ran to the closet and grabbed the giant ass bottle of whiskey. I didn't grab anything else but the whiskey was good enough for me. I ran back into my room, put it in the backpack, and ran it downstairs. I put it in an unfinished part of my basement, behind the heating insulation on the walls. I came back upstairs and resumed taking in groceries. And just like that, I had finally won. And I'm always proud when I win. But this time, I can surely say that I am not proud, I have never been more disgusted to be in my own skin. I've struggled with opioids, nicotine, marijuana, etc. but never had it been this bad. I have sank to a new low. And so here I am, writing this post, while everyone in my family is asleep. And the second this is posted, I am going to sneak downstairs and pour myself a glass of that whiskey. If I do or don't get caught, I will make an update to this post. I am already regretting pouring this glass and I haven't even done it yet, but I need something to feel normal, like myself, something to relieve the sad truth of the good, intelligent, wholesome kid that I used to be that has now been masked by this cold, cruel, mentally unstable drug addict and alcoholic. I want this to end. But this will never end because I want more.
(TLDR: Got caught stealing liquor twice within the span of 30 minutes, almost got let off the hook but eventually parents found out. But I tried a third time and succeeded in stealing whiskey.)
TyrantXulu: Sounds like you need your lil punk ass whooped and grounded. Period. Mic drop.
patrick505883: You are absolutely right, and I already did.
TyrantXulu: Sorry to be harsh dude but once you get out in the real world no one is going to sugar coat things for you anymore. Best of luck to you dude. Take it from someone who started drinkjng and smiking way too early that its not worth the damage you do to your body, its not worth the constant money spending, its not worth getting to 25 years old and looking back and wishing you could get that time back and do something that matterd instead of wasting away being an underage drunk.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1658551073 | 1658680437 | t3_w5uz4u | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to the strip club
[deleted]
CompleteTransition26: I applaud her earning a living to support her child but damn!
brunchez: Didn’t ask
CompleteTransition26: ??? Do you tyically pop into threads that don't address or concern you in any way to insert a passive aggressive comment that doesn't make sense?
brunchez: Yes
| 5 | 0 | |
1658551231 | 1658551943 | t3_w5v0zy | t5_2to41 | 34 | jodiek_3: TIFU by listening to my mother
This actually happened about 3 hours ago
My mom and I left our house to get lottery tickets because the drawing was tonight ($660 mil). With me driving, we decided to make a couple more stops including subway for my dad and sonic for us. So we get milkshakes and had a good idea to take a backroad and drink them before we got home so no one would know we got ice cream.
The backroad speed limit is 20 mph then turns into a 35 mph. I turned left onto the backroad in the 20 mph zone and of course some asshole was on my tail in a matter of a minute. I'm still respectfully went the speed limit and below; some to spite the asshole and some to keep my mom from being dramatic as hell. So five miles down the road, asshole was still on my tail, there's another speed zone change but this time 35 mph to 45 mph.
Cue the FU. Like me, she had been commenting on how close I was being followed. She said "I dare you to punch it as soon as you hit the 45!" So naturally, I accepted the dare and that gas pedal met the floor. I made it to 63 mph and look back to see a great cloud of dust had enveloped the asshole driver. Lo and behold, the beautiful blue lights that you can't stand to see.
"DAMN IT, *mom's name* YOU GOT ME PULLED OVER!!!"
"No I did not!!!"
*cue her spotting the lights*
"Shit jodiek_3!!! I'm sorry!!!"
Of course I started laughing about the whole thing and pulled over. The kind sheriff let me go without a ticket due to my honesty and not being scared of getting a ticket. My mom even said she would pay half if I got one. We explained the whole thing and he was understanding but told me to let them pass and get in trouble.
Probably one of the best days I've had in a long time.
TL;DR- Mom told me to speed and I listened. Got pulled over and luckily let off with a warning. All because of some milkshakes.
___Phreak___: Not sure it's a fuck up if it's "Probably one of the best days I've had in a long time"
jodiek_3: It definitely was a fuck up because we both know better than that. The result of us being ding dongs and laughing at each other for an hour certainly was not the fuck up lmao
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1658551910 | 1658566558 | t3_w5v8h2 | t5_2to41 | 35,692 | jkozmetsky: TIFU by misinterpreting the phrase “Netflix and Chill”
So this happened 6ish years ago, when I was a freshman in college…
One night, some friends and I went on a double date. I took a guy I just met off tinder as my date. We went out to eat and bowl afterwards, and the night was going well. On our way back to the car, he offers to take me back to his place to Netflix and chill, and you guessed it, I didn’t know what that actually meant. I said sure let’s do it. We’re still walking with my friends and I tell them to go on without me, that I’m going with my date back to his place to Netflix and chill.
They looked concerned, and they’re like “Are you sure? You just met this guy.”
And I’m like “Yea, yea, we’re just going to Netflix and chill, no worries.”
Probably weirded out, but knowing I’ve done risky things before and trust that I’m fully aware of my actions, they let it go, and told me to just text them once I got home. So with that I was off with this guy to his apartment.
When we got there I was a little sketched out, and by that I mean the apartment looked kind of sketchy. I shrugged it off as we walked up the stairs of his apartment, silently hoping it looked better on the inside than it did on the outside…
Well everyone…there wasn’t much to look at on the inside, because there was no furniture save for a couch in the living room and a mattress in one of the rooms.
So there I am, standing at the doorway of this desolate room, and instead of being worried about the possibility of being murdered, I asked my date where the TV was.
“TV?” He asks.
And I’m like “Yea…to watch Netflix. Why else did you bring me here?”
And he laughed, and luckily for me it wasn’t the murderous kind, but the “bless your heart” kind of laugh. He then promptly explained to me what he actually meant by Netflix and chill.
I was so embarrassed, that to make up for my confusion, I gave up my virginity that night. (edited)
I came across this [meme](https://viralviralvideos.com/2015/11/16/i-thought-we-were-watching-netflix-2/) today and it reminded me of that night.
TL;DR College freshman me didn’t know what Netflix and chill meant and lost her virginity because of it.
aoechamp: To be fair, Netflix and chill usually does actually start with Netlfix…
Quirky_Apricot9427: Pretty sure it starts with netflix, not netlfix.
photo_synthesizer: Lol why all the downvotes...they're right😆
Pengwan_au: Because no one cares about spellng mistakes
peepay: Well I do...
And you made one yourself ;)
thanksbank: And thats the power of having a voting system
Sploitspiller: *that’s
vincent3878: Risky comment
horaceknows: Lotta folks willing to lose a lotta karma to feel cool here.
DESTR0Y_you: Yea, thay willong ti losa a lotof kama to be damn straight
KacperP12: yeah*
KacperP12: Yeah*
| 13 | 2,745.538462 | |
1658553098 | 1658555206 | t3_w5vm67 | t5_2to41 | 20 | tifub1234: tifu bad and I may lose my job tomorrow
I'm a sales associate at a clothing place
Today before closing two men came in and bought a bunch of clothes. It rang up to over 1,200 USD. They paid in 20 dollar bills.
The man was counting it out in front of me. I was picking it up in stacks and recounting it but slowly so I wouldn't mess up. The man got annoyed by this and started counting faster. The second man was also trying to talk to me at the same time. After it was all counted out I started gathering all the stacks together and the first man quickly grabbed most of it up. My dumb self didn't think anything of this and started checking the money I had to make sure it was real. I then asked for the rest of the stack and did the same.
When we were closing amd counting the registers, mine was short. A lot of money. We freaked and started doing the process for everything we should. I started telling my manager about exactly what happened step by step. That's when we realized the man did not hamd me all the money that was counted out.
I'm probably gonna lose my job. I feel like an idiot. In the moment it didn't seem obvious but now it's pretty clear. Guess I'll see what happens in the morning. Wish me luck.
TL;DR: I wasn't careful enough and got scammed out of almost a grand. I will probably lose my job
DeedyScandalQueenie: Is there cctv?
tifub1234: Yep. It's clearly on the camera (even though it's shitty quality) of the guy taking up all the money.
DeedyScandalQueenie: I would try and get a copy of the CCTV for your records. This won't be the first or last time this pair tries the scam and will likely target similar shops/places around there. The store should be able to get the money recompensated by insurance - chances are they have it. The insurance will be very interested in cctv footage. While it may not come to much immediately with the police chances are they will show up sometime or another and a theft complaint with the footage might be worth it.
This was a targeted scam- while it's a painful lesson, it's one most people in hospitality come across at some point. Stay steady - mistakes bring a sense of shame and failure but this you fell for a trap rather than making an error so don't be too hard on yourself
tifub1234: The higher ups are going to watch the cameras and will probably notify the stores around as well. Usually what happens. Unfortunately scams and theft are extremely common where I am. I was briefly told about these types of scams but never have come across it myself. But within the small talk they made, they told me they were from another country and just visiting. I just hope that the other person that was with me working isn't also punished. I'm not sure what will happen until tomorrow. Even if insurance covers it, because I was not careful enough, they may deem me too incompetent. Which is fair in my eyes because I should have been more careful. But all I can do is move forward.
DeedyScandalQueenie: I think you'll be okay in the end - there's no guarantee that anyone else would not have fallen for the scam either. I don't think you were incompetent and I don't think it'll come across that way, fingers crossed you get to keep your job
tifub1234: Thank you. What ever happens, happens. I'm still pretty young so I'll just have to swallow my pride and take it as it is.
| 7 | 2.857143 | |
1658552622 | 1658558344 | t3_w5vgv3 | t5_2to41 | 82 | [deleted]: TIFU making my own cocktail.
[deleted]
Not_soBasik114: Ehrm… Time for a little visit to the ER don’t you think ? 
SalleighG: Depends where. Most varieties of slugs are not toxic (but some are.)
Not_soBasik114: Oh ok I didn’t know that. Thanks for the info I appreciate it
SalleighG: https://a-z-animals.com/blog/are-slugs-poisonous-or-dangerous/ looks like their parasites can be a problem though!
UnluckyChemicals: Parasites are nasty and hard to catch get yourself checked though better safe than sorry(speaking from experience)
| 6 | 13.666667 | |
1658553283 | 1658558697 | t3_w5vo6e | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: Tifu by listening to a 6th grader
[deleted]
6lula_bil9: ummm it may have started as a joke but I don't think it's ending as one
___Phreak___: Mummy, how did you meet daddy? 😂
| 3 | 3 | |
1658557968 | 1658558772 | t3_w5x27e | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by (jokingly) calling my girlfriend stupid when we were playing a game.
[deleted]
Silvyrn: Sounds uptight
___Phreak___: Are you sure she understood what you said?
Realistic_Bad1111: I didn’t mean it as anything other than a joke. One that wasn’t really my usual sense of humor and was at a bad time, but she understood what the joke implied and what I said- even though I didn’t mean it like that. Just kinda spoke before thinking.
___Phreak___: I meant that she seems a little slow 🤣
| 5 | 0 | |
1658560638 | 1658562999 | t3_w5xt9v | t5_2to41 | 9 | ishavedthegrundle: TIFU by giving myself a bro-zillian and may have jeapordized my wife and I having a Free Use agreement
This happened earlier this week.
Back story:
Been married ~15 years, have too many kids. My wife and I have struggled to find a good groove with sex during most of our marriage for a number of reasons (me not properly providing her love languages, painful sex for her, heavily religious upbringings, and too many kids).
2 of the 4 are doing much better... Still working through the religious stuff and the kids aren't going anywhere. We have finally been hitting a good stride the past 9 months or so and it's been great. Like REALLY great. Certainly some land mines along the way, but I'm a guy and an idiot and sometimes get one track minded and... Yeah.
One of the things that she really wanted to explore is free use (I know, I'm crazy lucky here). For a few months now we've talked about it, had days here and there, explored potential boundaries, and she wanted to set a date to go 100% into it. Yeah buddy. It wasn't until this time that I started to realize why men manscape. I mean, she was working to get down on it at anytime I wanted. Seemed right to have a clean area all the time, without coarse pubes and a bad smell... So I decided to be respectful and mow the garden.
Now he's the thingy. I'm not crazy hairy, but I've got a good amount. And I've always wondered how it would be to poop without having hair between around my b-hole. I've talked about it for years. I'm thinking now's the time. I can try my hand at a clear scrotum while also having a hair free crack? Perfect. Throughout the day I ask my wife about where to stop shaving (she likes the butt hair and doesn't mind the happy trail). The lines were drawn and plans were made. I wouldn't try trimming first, I'd go all in.
Here's where the eff up starts:
Apparently I never said "Hey I'm doing this" out loud. My wife new I didn't like my crack hair, but she didn't know I was full on ready to start shaving later that day.
At bedtime we get the kids into bed. She goes in with the two youngest to help then settle. I head to the bathroom, get the clippers and a mirror, and start going to town.
First time bro-zillian. Man. This is tough. I'm not flexible. Nor have I ever seen my b-hole. But there it was. I was concerned about cutting anything, so I was going pretty slow.
I got most of it cleaned up and then I went into the shower for the main event with a razor. At some point while I had my penis in hand, stretched for a clean shave on the shaft my wife walks in (we have a clear glass wall shower) and says "oh I didn't know you were doing that tonight" (should have realized my eff up here and taken a step back, but nope, full steam ahead). I said yep! Was excited to try it out (or something dumb like that)
I was going much slower than expected because, you know, first time with a sharp knife and genitals. It took way too long. My wife would poke her head in and we'd chat for a second and then she'd leave. All was casual conversation - she asked if I needed help shaving my crack (I know, a real gem), if I was having body image concerns from the porn we had started exploring (yes, she's amazing, on both accounts), and just general questions about "why make this decision so quickly?" Nothing rushed, no irritation in her voice. I realize I didn't properly tell her I was going for it, but she didn't seem irritated, just surprised.
Finally I'm done. I finish the shower, clean up everything, then head into the bedroom. I don't know why but something about giving myself a bro-zillian got the motor running real strong so I'm dropping heavy hints. It was after about 15 minutes my wife got tired of my comments let me have it. Here's what's been on her mind:
The entire 60-90 minute time I'd been doing my "porn makeover" she's been trying to do her incredibly difficult 90 minute physical therapy that will hopefully prevent her from having crazy invasive hip surgery. She hated doing it, but knows she needs to. While trying to do said therapy she was dealing with the kids getting it of bed or needing help, including one incredibly difficult child that I normally manage the entire going to sleep routine with. I had made sure he was in bed, but didn't wait long enough to go to sleep. Her therapy is hard enough. Add in this particularly difficult child and it's the end of the day, her patience was running very thin. Then her mind starts wondering why I'm making such a rash decision without at least telling her I was going for it or waiting until the kids were 100% settled before beginning my journey to shaved manhood. Now it turned into not just making her might difficult, but me ignoring my parental responsibilities to achieve some kind of sexual satisfaction on my own (a big no-no in our adventure together). I'm a big idiot. Night ruined. Game over until later. Right? .... Right?
But wait... There's more.
I'm very understanding and apologetic. I explain my logic and how I did something so selfish and stupid. I take my penance and know this was a big screw up, so she might have a hard time getting in the mindset to be physical for a few days. It did. 4 days exactly. But tonight when she asked if I was game to get down I said I wasn't really in the mood. Yeeeep. That's me. Still an idiot.
The thing about the week was we were both kinds of "off". Entirely my fault for sure. And when I'm in trouble I tend to get distant. I tried very hard not to be, but I'm sure I was too do6ne extent. Over the 4 days we just didn't have our normal closeness so I just didn't feel like I was there. I just needed some tender snuggling or holding or something to get it jump started. Probably doesn't help that my junk is in a terribly itchy stage of regrowth. And I'm really self conscious about it since it caused this whole mess, plus I can't forget about it because it ITCHES SO BAD. It's a constant, itchy reminder. If I could I'd somehow freeze time or avoid sex until all the hair is back and I can start this whole thing over. Obviously not possible. But I felt off so I told her I felt off and wasn't sure I was game tonight.
Oh boy.
That was like 2 hours ago. She's asleep now. Shortly after saying she needed to take an ambien to get to sleep because her mind was spiraling about concerns about our marriage. And I'm in the couch in the other room so I won't disturb her while I'm writing this.
So that's me. From free use to "concerned about our marriage" in 4 days flat. Speed run anyone?
TLDR: I selfishly ignored parental responsibilities to give myself a smooth undercarriage, which caused my wife to be concerned about my motivations behind our sexual journey together. Now I'm on the couch.
thelibrarian_cz: Yeah, once I started using OneBlade(or any generic trimmer with similar head) stopped using razor almost completely.
I feel trimming it down to 1mm is absolute best - the area doesn't look like prepubescent teenager and you don't get any scratches or any itching.
Note: you still need razor for the sack and the base of the tool(you at least get part of optical illusion going🤣) but that usually don't results in much itching.
The B area is the same, trim, don't shave. The purgatory that follows complete shaving is not worth it 😅
Adragongentleman: But usually It stops itching when It becomes regular because It doesn't irritate the skin that much, the first time though, It's going to be torture
thelibrarian_cz: Yeah, I think razor is always going to be razor 🤷♂️it's gonna cut you
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1658551012 | 1658635076 | t3_w5uygn | t5_2to41 | 14 | iKidnapBabiez: TIFU by singing itsy bitsy spider through the baby monitor camera
Happened a couple months ago but just found out the repercussions from it today.
My daughter's are 5 and 1½ish. I put a ring camera in their room a few months ago because the baby kept getting out of her bed and playing in the room they share. So this camera has night vision, audio, great picture, it's awesome. I kept noticing that when I'd look at the live view my 5 year old would quickly lay down and close her eyes. When I would talk into the camera my one year old would get upset. So one day she was throwing a whole ass Oscar award winning tantrum and she's never been a fit kid so I wasn't sure what to do. So I sang itsy bitsy spider and instantly she gets up from her 10/10 Disney princess sprawl over the chair and starts doing itsy bitsy spider. Then she goes to bed and I'm like hell yeah I'm killing it at this mom thing. Well somehow my 1½ year old could also tell when I looked at the live view and would start doing itsy bitsy spider.
So I realize a light comes on when I'm looking at the live view and I try to turn it off and can't figure it out. Called ring and they said there's no way to turn off the light. I asked if I could just cover it with electrical tape which I have 7 rolls of and they said yeah that's fine so I do it. Few weeks go by and I'm thriving, I can spy on my kids in peace and they don't know. One night our Internet has an unplanned outage and we had to set the camera back up. Next night we forgot to charge our wireless nightlight and all of a sudden the night vision isnt working. So I ignore it for a few weeks because we usually have a nightlight and it isn't worth trying to fix it. Last night my husband forgot to charge it again and I was met with a pitch black picture. So I call up ring and try to figure it out and she told me to check a setting that said infrared lights or something and it still didn't work and I was like huh that's weird. Then it dawns on me that I'm a complete moron. I go in and remove the pieces of tape from the little red lights on top of the camera and I can see again.
I'm not a complete idiot, I did know what those lights were but in the moment I just didn't think anything of it and covered them "just in case". I tell the woman on the phone while laughing so hard I almost peed myself what I did. She can't contain her laughter at how completely stupid I am and ends up sending me an email about our call and says through her laughter "you're the best thing that's happened to me all night. If you have any other problems please respond to that email and I'll call you because I'd love to talk to you again." Yeah right. They're never hearing from my stupid ass again. I did instantly call my mother and tell her. Told my husband, my roommate, and my brother just because I thought it was hilarious.
TLDR: put tape over infrared lights on my camera because my 1 year old is smarter than me.
fallingkaleidoscope: This is a great story, I had a good laugh reading it lol
Good luck with rh nightlight and such, this totally sounds like something I would do lmao
Take my free award, stranger
iKidnapBabiez: Haha thanks. Glad I could give you a good laugh cause I felt super dumb
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1658574711 | 1658602160 | t3_w61jti | t5_2to41 | 26 | CommunicationOk79: TIFU by asking a man with scars on his face if he played the Joker
At the time, I was eight years old and obsessed with the Dark Knight, which had come out a year earlier. In the movie, the Joker had a Glasgow Grin.
My parents had taken my sister and I on a trip to Scotland because we have ancestral ties there. We were standing in line for something when I noticed that the man behind us had two very distinct facial scars that looked identical to the Joker's.
My idiot child brain immediately decided to ask the man if he had played the Joker in the new movie.
To this day, I remember how upset the man looked at the question. His face just fell and he looked devastated. My mom immediately grabbed me and started apologizing, I think my dad and sister were too horrified to say anything, and the man just mumbled that it was okay.
We immediately left the line and my parents had a long talk about why I don't say thongs like that. To this day, I can't watch the Dark Knight without cringing. Scotland was a beautiful place full of friendly people...and I probably ruined this guy's day, so that has stayed with me more than the views did.
TL;DR - asked a man with scars on his face if he played The Joker in the Dark Knight movie.
swcult: I guess that’s what your parents get for letting a 7 yr old watch a PG13 movie
DuckfootPrude: The horror.
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1658576598 | 1658577134 | t3_w622b7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to prove a point with my girlfriend
[deleted]
UtopianShot: You ever heard of the saying "Don't fight fire with fire"?
Hope you've learned your lesson.
genricburneracc: Well, it wouldn't be a tifu if there wasn't a lesson to be learnt, would it.
UtopianShot: Youd be surprised how many dont learn from their mistakes
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1658576870 | 1658743037 | t3_w624yy | t5_2to41 | 7,130 | hoosyourdaddyo: TIFU by letting Amazon almost turn me into a criminal
This happened yesterday. Amazon had opened a new ‘Amazon Fresh’ store in my area.
One of the features of these stores is that you can scan into the store, collect your items and walk right out without having to scan the items or go through a cashier.
I have used this system many times over the past few weeks, so I’ve grown used to just putting things in my backpack or pocket and just walking out.
So yesterday, I’m at lunch and pop into a Walgreens to pick up some items. Out of the habit from shopping at the Amazon Store, I pocketed the item and started to walk out the store. Luckily, I stopped myself and bought the item the traditional way.
What’s funny is that the store has police watching for shoplifters, and I literally almost shoplifted right in front of them, I wonder if they would buy my explanation. Personally, I blame Jeff Bezos.
TL:DR Used to shopping in store where you just grab and go, almost accidentally stole from a traditional store.
sourtaxi: A friend of mine did self checkout at Walmart scanned all the items put them in the bag and left. Thought the price seemed low but shrugged it off. Apparently she realized later at home when she tossed the receipt. Couple items beeped but didn’t register. She’s terrified now that they are going to watch tape and come after her for theft because some story online says they do that.
I laughed at her cause I’m doubting they care about her accidentally stealing a $5 block of cheese.
Tony49UK: I had a mate of mine who would go into supermarkets, just after they introduced self service tills. Would pass the items over the self check out. But would make sure that the check out didn't see the bar code and would just ring them in as potatoes. As they were the cheapest thing per kilo. Where he really went wrong, was using it to get alcohol and not even putting one item through legitamitally. So that a cashier had to authorise it. So they saw him walking out with a load of beer which had never been authorised.
Ackilles: Had they authorized it, they would have seen all the potato charges.
Either way, worked out for the best!
Tony49UK: You put the first alcohol through, trigger the store employee call. Get them to authorise it. Then put the rest through.
ManiacMedic: At that point, you're paying full price for the alcohol... so wouldn't it be best to use the potatoe trick on your prime rib or whatever and just legitimately purchase your beer on a separate occasion? Doing the beer at the same time just forces attention on you while you still pay full price for it.
1. Potatoe trick for normal groceries.
2. Return an hour later because you "forgot" to pick up beer.
3. ???
4. Profit.
^^also ^^maybe ^^just ^^don't ^^steal?
PhantomTissue: In order to come out on top, sometimes you gotta take a hit or two. You want free alcohol? Find the cheapest bottle there is, then pick up the ones you ACTUALLY want. Scan the cheap one first, pay the 15-20$ it’ll probably cost, and walk out with the four 65$ bottles you actually wanted.
Just keep an eye out for the receipt checkers, those guys’ll get ya.
ricavier: In the US at least, receipt checkers can't do a thing unless they actually saw the theft. I always just keep on walking without acknowledging them even though I've paid for everything.
rathlord: You can also just not be that guy and let them check your stuff. It’s their job. And while yes, you’re correct that legally they can’t stop you, they can tell you that you’re not allowed to shop in their stores if you won’t follow the policy.
Sometimes things don’t have to be illegal for you to avoid doing them, you can just do it because you’re not a dickhead. Don’t be a dickhead. Receipt checkers keep grocery costs down for everyone.
ricavier: It's **my** stuff. I'm trying to peacefully do my own business and they want to hold me captive so they can go through my shit and treat me like a thief. No
thehatteryone: That's a selfish (not in a judgemental way) choice. The more people who choose that, the more that store is "the one that doesn't check receipts", the more that it will attract thieves and prices will rise to cover it. Others currently go through that hassle/mild inconvenience to get you the prices you pay, under the terms both you and they have signed up for by shooing there. It's all good if you were the only one ever doing it, but people are what they are, and seeing you do it will no doubt embolden others to make this tiny act rebellion
ricavier: I don't think it's selfish. I value the freedoms we all have in society to go where we want when we chose, and to be secure in our personal property. I won't accept violations of those freedoms when I haven't done anything wrong because I believe they're more valuable to society than lower supermarket prices.
thehatteryone: > to be secure in our personal property
So does the store owner. So while you have no right to be in their store, they allow it in exchange for certain terms being adhered to. Don't like those terms ? Then you are absolutely within your rights not to enter another's property, handle their goods, and to shop elsewhere at greater financial expense, but a lower cost to your freedoms. I'm sure you trade your rights and freedoms daily in exchange for other things you value, that's how society works, but this one seems complicated to you.
ricavier: It's quite simple. As soon as checking my reciept becomes a requirement to shop at walmart I'll go to the more expensive store. I never said I had a right to shop anywhere
thehatteryone: And the more people who just breeze on past the checker, the more likely it'll become a requirement. That's why I said selfish, it probably won't affect you greatly, you're sure to have several more years of it not be a requirement, but you'll be disadvantaging more people long-term by forcing their hand to make it something they have to enforce rather than just apply as hoc
ricavier: I want to live in a world where everyone pays a few dollars more for their groceries and can then leave peacefully. I believe that would be a better society for everyone. (Not that that's the only answer of course, Walmart could implement countless other strategies)
thehatteryone: Thing is, those receipt checkers aren't a zero sum game. They stop not just people who have stolen something, but stop people who might chance it from daring to steal. Take them away and it becomes less of a risk to try getting away with it. In terms of other options, some minimum wage person stood at the door is very likely by far the best value of many options to help deter shoplifting (again, it's all money that goes onto your bill, ultimately, and I'm pretty sure walmart will be carefully calculating the lowest cost way to prevent the most losses).
I'm all for rights and freedoms. I'm also more than a little fond of messing with security systems and processes. But I don't pretend I'm the hero for doing it, I know I'm being a bit of a jerk when I sidestep or coerce some process for my own convenience (and it's probably not obvious to people around me). And it may well be you live in a nice area where there's no real losses, and neither the receipt checker nor their manager care who they stop, as long as they check a few people to keep corporate happy. But it might be that kid's livelihood depends on them stopping all sorts of people (or maybe people like you, whoever you are), to avoid their manager firing them. Alternatively, walmart can be funding the R&D to make super-cheap, super-effective CCTV AI systems that can track anyone, from a long distance and interpret then log all their activities in some giant database, something all sorts of people and places will then install - is that better for your freedom ?
| 17 | 419.411765 | |
1658582249 | 1658757531 | t3_w63tt2 | t5_2to41 | 11 | throwaway327454: TIFU by not properly muting my phone
I (15F) was on the phone with one of my guy friends (15M) just chatting. We had been talking for hours about random stuff and I realised I had to pee. I told him where I was going and since it wouldn’t be long I would just mute myself and we could talk after. He agreed so I took my phone into the bathroom and muted myself and, not wanting to listen to him talk while I’m trying to pee, I turned off my phone volume so I couldn’t hear him. I put my phone on the side of the sink right next to the toilet and peed. Once I had finished I wiped, flushed, washed my hands etc and picked my phone back up to unmute myself, but it wasn’t on mute. I panicked and asked my friend if he heard anything and he said “yeah I heard you”. I asked if he just heard the flushing or something to try and see if it wasn’t as bad as I thought but he said “no I heard literally EVERYTHING. You don’t exactly piss quietly”. I wanted to die of embarrassment. I told him I thought I muted it and he just said “well obviously you didn’t”. We tried to go back to talking like before but I couldn’t get over the fact he heard me and made up an excuse to leave. For the whole day now he’s been texted me that its fine and its natural and sending me peeing memes to try and lighten the mood and make it less awkward but I just feel so uncomfortable about what happened. I know he’s trying to make me feel better but I still feel like an idiot for it. We joke around with each other a lot, so I can already tell he’s gonna keep bringing this up for a while.
Tldr: went to go pee while on the phone, thought I muted but didn’t, friend heard EVERYTHING
rickybdominatingmc: Sounds like this guy likes you ngl
throwaway327454: Really?
rickybdominatingmc: Seems like it he wasnt grossed out by it and is lightening the mood i think it could be something there
throwaway327454: I feel like he’s just saying that to be nice tho
rickybdominatingmc: Could be but maybe keep an eye on how he is with you maybe youll notice something just something to think about
throwaway327454: Well I’m definitely going to look for it now, that sounds interesting
| 7 | 1.571429 | |
1658583965 | 1658599637 | t3_w64epy | t5_2to41 | 11,881 | synonymtoastcrunch2: TIFU by having sex on my period
EDIT: QUIT GIVING ME MEDICAL ADVICE. I don't care what plan b does to me, I've never had a side effect and I'm just gonna keep taking it. Your advice is falling on deaf ears.
I have a FWB that I've been sleeping with for nearly 5 years now so period sex is like no big deal. He couldn't care less about it, he's only ever upset that he can't eat me out if we do it on my period (I won't let him lol).
I recently started using a menstrual cup instead of tampons because I just can't justify creating that much waste anymore. For anyone that doesn't know what that is, it's exactly what it sounds like. It's a small silicone cup that you fold up and stick inside your vagina. It expands and catches all the blood and then every 6-12 hours you dump it out, rinse it off, and re-insert.
Okay, so, he wanted me to come over yesterday and I said I was I'm on my period and he said "who tf cares?" so naturally I went over to his place. I'm on birth control and he always buys me a plan b, so I usually let him finish inside me. I don't wanna hear how irresponsible that is, I don't care.
We had sex and he finished inside me. I went to the bathroom to clean up and I put the cup back in. This was around 8pm and I usually dump out the cup when I wake up and and when I go to bed so I just went to sleep with it in.
Went to bed, woke up today, went to the bathroom and pulled out the cup. I was immediately hit with the most horrifying smell ever. It smelled like something died inside me. I had to look inside the cup. I saw that it was a lot more pink than normal and thicker too. I dumped it in the sink instead of the toilet cause I was afraid something was wrong and I wanted to look at it.
I was literally gagging at the scent. I was trying to remember when the last time I dumped it out was. I thought maybe I left it in for 24 hours instead of my usual 12.
And then I realized that it was literally period blood mixed with 12hr old cum. It never occurred to me that the cup would catch whatever cum was still inside me. This is the first time we've had period sex since I started using the cup. Before this I just use tampons so any cum that was left inside me would have been soaked up in a tampon and tossed an hour or two later.
But this cum got to just marinate in that little silicone cup and it created toxic pink sludge.
I don't even think boiling this cup will be enough. I think I need to buy a whole new one. I just had to dig out a 6 month old tampon from my purse to use because I was too disgusted to put the cup back in.
TLDR: Inserted a menstrual cup after getting cream pied, the cum and blood mixed in the cup and created the most awful smell I've ever smelled in my life.
EDIT: There seems to be some confusion. I didn't leave the menstrual cup in during sex. I took out the cup, we had sex, I cleaned up, inserted the cup, took a shower, went home, went to bed, woke up the next day and took the cup out again. I did not have sex with a cup inside of my body lol
EDIT 2: I'm not taking plan b every weekend or anything lmao. We only have sex once a month, maybe two months. And he doesn't cum in me every time. I probably take less than 5 plan b's a year now. Quit telling me I'm ruining my reproductive organs cause o don't care if I do lol
EDIT 3: Lots of comments about my unplanned pregnancies. The first one was an accident when I was living with my ex. I had a miscarriage, and then while I was recovering my ex took advantage of me in my very vulnerable state and I got pregnant again. Literally less than a week after miscarrying my first baby. I'm not just an irresponsible whore who loves getting knocked up or something. People also seem to be confused about how I've had a FWB for 5 years and I don't get the confusion. We talk like once a month to plan when we wanna fuck and that's it. No emotional or romantic connection, it's just sex. I didn't realize that it was so uncommon to have a fwb for so long lol
itsjustmefortoday: If you're on birth control and using it correctly then you don't need to use emergency contraception. If you're that worried that your birth control won't work (for instance if you've been sick or missed a pill) then use condoms for three or seven days (depends on your pill).
synonymtoastcrunch2: I'm on nexplanon, it's just that I've had two unplanned pregnancies (one miscarriage, one full term baby) and I am NOT trying to have another one. I'm just paranoid af
passthepepperplease: Lol, why people are down voting you for making decisions about your reproductive health is beyond me.
Marcuche96: Two unplanned pregnancies, one miscarriage and one full baby? Stated that she doesn't care about how irresponsible her sex habits are but still "paranoid af about getting pregnant"? I don't know man. Why people are down voting her is truly beyond me too.
Edit for the simps not getting the point.
grey-skies171: No. 1 miscarriage + 1 full term pregnancy leading to the baby = 2 unplanned pregnancies 🤦🏻♀️
Marcuche96: The key words in my oc are "unplanned" and "pregnancies". Yet Redditors do their thing and focus on the technicalities to post a seemingly witty reply to feel better about themselves.
The woman is being down voted likely because of her recklessness and "don't wanna hear it, don't care" mentality leading to 2 unplanned pregnancies. There, I spelled it out for you.
grey-skies171: She's had 2 unplanned pregnancies, she takes birth control and takes plan b after having sex, how the fuck is she being reckless? You seem like you have 0 idea on this one. Take a back seat.
Marcuche96: > You seem like you have 0 idea on this one
And you do? You're believing TWO unplanned pregnancies are the result of effective birth control use AND plan B after sex? Wow.
grey-skies171: As a woman who had an unplanned pregnancy while on 'effective' birth control? Yes! Here's a fact for you, no birth control is 100% effective. Who knew?!
Marcuche96: From my other comment:
"Law of big numbers: even contraceptives with 99.99% effectiveness means that there's still gonna be that 0.01% of unlucky people to which "these things happen". This however, isn't my point, which either went over your head, or are trying to use technicalities to comment and feel better about yourself."
Yeah, "who knew".
grey-skies171: No, you're just literally trying to put down OP because that's the only way to get some form of joy in your life.
Your point was wrong. That's why noone has agreed with you.
Marcuche96: Ok.
| 13 | 913.923077 | |
1658585917 | 1658587301 | t3_w653hi | t5_2to41 | 7 | TheMushies: TIFU by creating a Cofftea
Today I did what no man should do.
I wake up after a solid 15 hour sleep. Walk downstairs, put my cup under the coffee machine, two sugars in that bitch and press the button. It grinds up the beans and I walk off to roll a smoke. I come back after rolling to pick up my first, my only, freshly grinded cup of joy for the day to find a pg tips floating around like hollow turd in my should be coffee. Its been there for a solid 5 minutes, it's released its bullshit into my cup. Its danced and mingled with the coffee, it has bent it over and birthed this new variant of fuckery in a cup.
Do I concede and remake the drink? No.
I'm slurping that boy right now and it's ruining my day drink by drink.
TL:DR Made a cup of coffee with a teabag in it. Tastes like treacle. 3/10 would not brew again.
PrivateDickDetective: Who sleeps for 15 hours?
hannaj0bananaj0: *raises hand*
PrivateDickDetective: You do you, playa, but most people can survive on 4.
I don't see how you haven't developed bed sores yet.
TheMushies: I usually get around 4 a night during the week on average. I have to put the 15 hours down to shit happens ay.
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1658586229 | 1658637321 | t3_w657k1 | t5_2to41 | 375 | bunsnick3627: TIFU by inviting a coworker to dinner
This is from yesterday but: I (16m) work as a waiter at a local restaurant chain, I’ve been working there for about 4 months now and have been getting to know my coworkers better, I was talking to one of my coworkers (16m) about my family. I was telling him about my brother (13m) being away at baseball camp and how I was happy that he was coming back, and he ended up asking about my other siblings, I had mentioned how my parents were trying to get my sister (9f) involved in something since my brother does baseball, my other younger sister (13f) has painting lessons, and I take piano lessons, so far my parents have tried various things with her but nothing has worked, they always ask what she wants to try, she tries it and after a few months, doesn’t like it and quits. After quitting violin lessons, she wanted to try gymnastics next because some of her friends do it. I mentioned this to my coworker and he said his brother (13m) does gymnastics and has since he was a kid and really loves it, he asked if maybe he could give her some tips, I said sure and asked him if he wanted to stay for dinner, after calling our parents he made plans to come over.
When he got there, he was with his younger brother and I welcomed him in, no one else was home, but they were coming soon, my parents came home first with my 9 year old sister, who was back from the gymnastics place, then my brother came home, my grandmother has picked him up from camp in the morning and then spoiled him by taking him to some antique shops to buy baseball cards and jerseys, my sister was home last from a friends house, the boy had seemed a little nervous when he met my brother but I didn’t think anything of it, my brother told me he knew him from school, then when my sister came home, the boy quickly asked if he could spend some time playing with my brother on his PS5. Again, I didn’t think anything of it but his reaction to my sister felt weird to me.
My coworker had gone to check in on his brother to see how he was doing, he said that he was acting really strange when playing with my brother and then my coworker had asked his brother to come to the bathroom with him, in the bathroom the boy started crying about how my sister and her friend group bullied him during the school year, calling him names and homophobic slurs. He said that he didn’t really tell anyone about it and he was scared around her. No one in my family knew this, when they got out of the bathroom, my coworker came to me and told me what had happened, I told my parents and I heard them scream for one of the only times in my life, they yelled for my sister and when she came out they scolded her and made her apologize to the boy and are now trying to decide on their next steps. I apologized to the boy to because I didn’t intend to put him in an uncomfortable situation. The night was mostly peaceful after that, my sister had to eat in her room to make the boy feel safer.
TL;DR I invited my coworker and his family over not knowing my sister had bullied his brother, brother was acting uncomfortable, eventually told my coworker what happened, my parents were very mad to find out daughter is a bully
Shinrahunter: This goes one of two ways.
1. Your sister feels ashamed due to this telling off and tells her friends to leave him alone next time or....
2. That boy is fucked and his bullying only going go get stepped up.
I hope for him it's case no.1 because being bullied is horrible.
Caimthehero: At her age it is most likely going to be number 2. Children don't have the same capabilities of a complex morality system that adults do, they don't start to develop it until at least puberty. Her peer group is going to have more of an impact on her development at her age unless her parents have been very strict up to this point and it sounds like they haven't been. Legitimately the best thing to do to restrict this behavior would be a change of environment to get her to leave those "friends". Moving schools would typically work but friendships can die from just not being in the same classes or after school activities
Shinrahunter: True. In my experience (growing up in 80's/90's NW England) the best way to deal with bullies is to stand up to them. I spent a good half of a school year standing up to my bully, to the point that every break either he'd find me or I'd find him and we'd fight. Bearing in mind this was primary school (5-11) and I would have been about 7-8 at the time, he was a year older.
I was in and out of the principal's office numerous times and it only came to a head after I'd drawn blood after he tried to choke me. His older sister then got a hold of me and after that he stopped so I stopped in return.
It was a weird situation because his mum worked at th ecrosswalk ouitside the school as well at at the highschool I then went to and she was really nice.
Scoobz1961: Quick question, what does working at the crosswalk mean?
Shinrahunter: Haha, I just realized how weird that sounds.
We call them lollipop men & women. They stop traffic for kids to cross the roads on school routes.
I don't know what they're called on other places.
phezhead: Crossing guard in US (at least Texas)
| 7 | 53.571429 | |
1658590987 | 1658591486 | t3_w66yqv | t5_2to41 | 13 | DueReplacement3496: tifu by destroying my dads pool pump
today I fucked up me (16m) was swimming in my family's pool and water started to spray out of the pump me who had already started to panic tried to tighten the part where the water was coming out instead the leverage of me trying to open it totally destroyed the pump and a huge Part of it came off and not only did it just come off it snapped off because the plastic broke and to somehow make this worse my dad isn't even here he won't be home until midnight because he's on vacation and I called and texted him and he hasn't responded yet. any advice as too what I should say too him when he gets back so he doesn't explode into thousands of piece because he's so angry with me, I'm not sure how tell him if he doesn't get my messages before he's gets home TL;DR i destroyed my dads pool pump and he won't even be home until midnight because he's on vacation
lady-ish: Sounds like the pump was already compromised (as evidenced by water suddenly spraying out). If your pool equipment sits unprotected out in the sun and other weather, the pump won't last beyond 5 years in many cases.
Make sure everything is off and the valve is closed so you don't lose any more pool water. Your dad might be angry, but this isn't your fault. Replacing a pump is easy (yes expensive, but it is an expected cost of having a pool).
DueReplacement3496: Everything is off and I took both of the hoses off the pump and into the pool so no more water leaks out fortunately the sand filter part is okay so it isn't all destroyed
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1658592408 | 1658617622 | t3_w67ig7 | t5_2to41 | 494 | BushyEyes: TIFU by being chronically dehydrated
This has been going on for the past few months and I just now realized and resolved it.
I’m terrible at drinking enough water and I also walk a decent amount. I don’t have a car and I walk on average 13,000 to 15,000 steps a day. I own a shop so I’m usually carrying packages to USPS or the UPS store, sometimes 15-25 pounds of packages. I was drinking like a tiny drop of water per day but drink tons of coffee so I figured that was good enough (reader, it was not good enough)
Anyway, the past 2-3 months, I’ve had headaches every single day, my rotator cuff has been killing me (if I turn the wrong way or reach the wrong way, it would shoot pain up through my neck) and I was dizzy. If I turned over in bed too quickly, the room would feel like it was rushing in on me.
I started getting freaked out after a couple months of consistent headaches and dizziness. I had this horrible fear that I had developed a brain tumor which made me not want to go to the doctor because I was afraid of my prognosis.
I started googling and I was getting everything from kidney failure to diabetes to brain tumor. My dad asked me “are you drinking enough water?” I thought about it and realized I only pee like 2-3 times a day, so I googled chronic dehydration and decided to immediately increase my water intake. Within 2-3 days, the headaches and dizziness were gone and my rotator cuff is back to normal.
The downside is, I thought I had an iron bladder cuz I never woke up during the night to pee but turns out I never had anything in it, so now I’m waking up peeing every night.
TL;DR: got so dehydrated I thought I had a brain tumor, [mom thinks I’m an idiot](https://imgur.com/a/7U5V5B0).
Fit_Ad_7681: One thing that really helped me with this same issue was carrying a refillable water bottle everywhere. Usually when I'm working, either at the office or from home, I'll look at it randomly and just take a drink. Also, as gross as it might be, pay attention to the color of your pee. If it's yellow, up the water intake. I do wish I didn't have to wake up every night to pee though, but I'm glad I don't have dehydration issues.
n21lv: Colour of your urine had nothing to do with your health, there are studies debunking this myth. Same with dehydration
Fit_Ad_7681: I'm just saying, when I'm not drinking enough water, my pee is always dark yellow.
n21lv: It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. Our body is perfectly capable of telling us when we need to hydrate
Fit_Ad_7681: I didn't say it meant a problem, it's just a good indicator.
n21lv: It might be, but colour of urine is also affected by other factors, like what you've eaten or drank. [Check this link](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/urine-color/symptoms-causes/syc-20367333#:~:text=Normal%20urine%20color%20ranges%20from,likely%20to%20affect%20the%20color.)
Fit_Ad_7681: This article literally says "Normal urine color varies, depending on how much water you drink. Fluids dilute the yellow pigments in urine, so the more you drink, the clearer your urine looks. When you drink less, the color becomes more concentrated. Severe dehydration can produce urine the color of amber." That's literally the point I was making.
n21lv: You're not seeing my point though. I'm saying that equating darker urine colour to health issues is judging a bit too early, because urine colour is affected *not only by hydration*, so using it as an indicator that there's something wrong with you is also a bit wrong. The article describes cases when you should worry, but most people seem to be worried even when their urine is simply yellow. In most cases there's no need to be obsessed about the colour of your urine unless it's really dark or cloudy
Fit_Ad_7681: I'm seeing you're point, you're putting words in my mouth. I never once said anything about health, only that darker urine is usually a sign you need to drink more. I understand that different medications, food, conditions, etc. affect the color/hue and that somebody doesn't need to run to the doctor because their urine is darker than normal. I simply said, if your urine is a darker color than normal (I know I used yellow, that's normally the color of urine in most people afaik), you should probably drink more. Nowhere did I say anything about health or being concerned. We are both trying to express different, yet similar points here.
n21lv: You should drink more if you're feeling thirsty, it's that simple. If you're not feeling thirsty, you're probably fine. Being thirsty is not the same as being dehydrated, but ads made a lot of people believe what you're "dehydrated" when you're simply thirsty.
What you keep repeating is that our organism, a highly sophisticated and self-regulating system, is somehow unable to tell us when we need to consume more water, and that we need to use a urine colour chart to determine that. Don't you wonder how humans managed to survive for so long without those charts and knowing that they might have some "incorrect" urine colour?
Fit_Ad_7681: I haven't said that or alluded to it once, again, you are putting words in my mouth. I can go several hours without feeling thirsty, or I relieve the feeling with a small drink of water, yet I still know I need to drink more despite not feeling thirsty. If you go back in time, people didn't live lives similar to what we do today and often had better diets without needing told we aren't getting what we need. Again, like I've said multiple times already, but you keep arguing against, if your urine is darker than usual, you should probably drink more water. I've been told this by every doctor I've ever seen in my life. I don't understand where you're getting these other points from as I never made any of them, yet you keep bringing them up. I understand the human body has ways of telling us that we aren't getting what we need, but those often come after it's been a problem for a while (ie. Headaches, muscle cramps, etc.) that doesn't mean there aren't other signs to look for before it gets to that point to tell you that you need to act (not just feeling thirsty). And again, I haven't said anything about health despite your insistence on bringing it up. I also didn't say color means anything other than it can be an indicator, not that it means anything specific, so please stop bringing that up too.
| 12 | 41.166667 | |
1658593111 | 1658612393 | t3_w67s1r | t5_2to41 | 14 | Dontlikepromiscous: TIFU by having sexist views about women
[removed]
Fnord1966: Nobody liked you last time you posted this incel shit, nobody likes you now
AquaSherbet: What did it say?
Fnord1966: He was complaining about women doing stuff like only fans, and how he'd be upset if guys could pay his girlfriend to do things she wouldn't do for him for free... Like he's ever had a girlfriend in the first place.
How they're not as valuable because they're selling themselves. Typical grandma's basement incel stuff.
AquaSherbet: Gross. Shall I fetch the lead pipe?
Fnord1966: As satisfying as that would be, I think a poisoned sex doll would be more appropriate.
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1658593255 | 1658714834 | t3_w67u0r | t5_2to41 | 2,107 | AtomicVaughn: TIFU by getting horny
Happened a couple of hours ago, I came inside from doing yardwork. Hot showers always make me horny, so after showering I was walking around with a half chub. Going to make supper I decided to make breakfast burritos. After doing all the food prep and combining all my ingredients I cooked the eggs. Then I pan fried the onions, tomatoes, peppers(jalapeños and sweet bell peppers) and meat(bacon). I washed my hands afterwards because obviously thats what you do. I ate and washed the dishes when I was finished. Going to my room, I began to masturbate. I wont get into the details but after a couple minutes I started to burn. My head felt like it was on fire and it was turning red. Thats how I realized my soap fucking sucks. Because i ended up with jalapeño and other juice residue on my cock.
TLDR; Made supper, my hand soap sucks and when I went to masturbate I ended with a swollen cock
Edit: Never did I think my misfortune would blow up like this, thanks for the award, glad you all could get a laugh outta it!
calm_gigachad: I thought you're going to fuck the burrito
Fahxxu: came here to find this
eastbayted: Found this and came
CreativeNameByMe: Wrong subreddit to do that on.
edit: i didn't get the joke
SomeonePayDelta: *Coconut guy enters the chat*
CreativeNameByMe: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PLEASE I WAS ELECTRONS AWAY FROM RECOVERING FROM THAT
| 7 | 301 | |
1658592755 | 1658595500 | t3_w67n79 | t5_2to41 | 48 | killme__killme: TIFU by not installing rods for curtains and having neighbours see me naked
So I (17f) moved to a new house with my parents a few weeks ago. My room is pretty close to the road and you can pretty much see everyone in the neighborhood from the windows. The house is pretty but we got really bad luck. Everything started getting broken ever since we came here so a lot of stuffs haven't been fixed yet which aren't the top priorities including installing rods for curtains.
I never felt like it was needed so soon so I didn't ask them to get it installed asap because, idk what's called but I think it's like two way mirror thing but not completely like it. I think my parents also forgot because they have been very stressed out lately with everything. Anyway you can't see anything from outside but I can see everything even if my windows are closed. So I thought it was pretty safe.
And I had been doing everything without the curtains. 😭😭From masturbating changing clothes, taking nudes whatever I wanted.
Tbh idk how dumb I can be to never notice that but tonight I needed to run some errands and coming back home I saw the lights of my room were on and I could see EVERYTHING. I mean, EVERYTHING clearly from the windows. From my bed, computer desk, my dressing table etc.
So anyway now I know why that creepy dudes on the opposite side of my house keep staring at me whenever I go out which I thought was because they were just creepy. And I'm embarassed af and frankly I'm scared too to be alone at home now.
Also sorry if it's messy and unreadable. I fucked up badly and I'm scared, can't even type properly. Sorry for the bad English too.
Tldr : I am dumb. Everyone possibly saw me naked from the windows and It's all my fault because I thought windows without curtains would be safe.
Fragrant-Party3192: How could you not notice this? Are these normal windows or semi-transparent? Also try keeping a weapon in your room. I once was scared to stay home for a completely different reason and kept knife, axe and a gun in my room.
ellilaamamaalille: American solution to any problem, gun.
Fragrant-Party3192: I actually live in Europe and in my country guns are illegal. Its an airsoft gun, but nobody is gonna ask when i point it at them.
| 4 | 12 | |
1658595717 | 1658599819 | t3_w68r9p | t5_2to41 | 21 | MyButtIsMyMystery: TIFU By Not Taking Out The Trash And Accidentally Creating A Swamps Of Degobah SItuation (TW: Gross)
(TW: Do not read if you are eating, squeamish, or easily grossed out)
Let me preface this post by saying that I suffer from Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome a disorder that mainly causes vomiting episodes if I become overly stressed or anxious along with other symptoms that I will not discuss I also keep a fairly large trashcan in my room as I practically live in it due to a multitude of reasons. On with the mess up
I don't know exactly when it happened but at some point I had an episode and got sick into my bedroom trashcan and in my more than likely sleep deprived state just stuck the paper towels I used to clean up what little mess there was on top of the main mess and went to bed, proceeding to forget about it. Since then I and my family have noticed an odd smell in the house that comes and goes and we've never been able to locate the source. Just recently I started to come out of a major depressive episode a little bit and decided to clean up my room some to help me further feel better, I got to the trashcan and noticed that it faintly smelled like the weird smell we had been smelling so I decided to take it out and hopefully end the mystery of the smell, when I lifted the bag: All. Hell. Broke. Lose. The cheap dollar store bag essentially disintegrated and everything that was in it spilled out into the trashcan, unleashing a horrible smell that can only be described as the swamps of degobah overtop of some rotting animal that had been soaked in skunk spray. I immediately began to cry and loudly gag before running to get one of the thick black trash bags my grandma uses for her garden wast, putting it over my trashcan and dumping it, which was my second mistake as it stirred everything up and made the smell ten times worse. I grabbed the nearest can of air freshener and proceeded to spray the whole thing into the bag and garbage can this did nothing good for the smell and only proceeded to make the room and house smell like an ocean of nasty, my saving grace came in the form of the second can of aerosol that sported a different much stronger scent, which mostly covered the smell. I managed to get everything into the bag while holding my breath before running outside and disposing of the bulk of the nightmare, before retuning inside, washing and sanitizing my hands twice. I got back into my room and discovered there was a part two to this living hell as the trashcan smelled just as bad if not worse than what I had just taken out. At my now awake and horrified grandma's suggestion I took it into our guest bathroom and poured most of a bottle of Dawn into it before running scalding hot water from the shower into it while she got my grandfather up and they opened every door and window while pointing ever fan we own outside and cranked the ac up as high as it would go to try and help with the smell that had permeated the house. Meanwhile in the bathroom my efforts were fruitless and the smell and nasty had soaked into the plastic and forever cursed the trashcan with it's horrible stench. I decided to just throw it away before going to town with the air freshener trying to get rid of the smell. Cut to now an hour later the house smells like Island breeze with whiffs of the swamps of degobah 2.0 coming though, my cat is hiding under the porch to avoid the smell while giving me me dirty looks, my grandma is in the garden sitting between her rose bushes to avoid the smell, my grandfather went to get more febreeze and oder elimination packs, while i'm on the porch contemplating my life choices and writing this.
tl;dr: I got sick in my trashcan and forgot about it, leading to the swamps of degobah 2.0 when I went to go empty it and learning why you're supposed to empty a trash can right after you get sick into it.
SidTheGoblinKid: *cackle-cries in CVS*
MyButtIsMyMystery: What?
SidTheGoblinKid: I've had similar experiences with vomiting and forgetting.
MyButtIsMyMystery: Ah I see
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1658595914 | 1658614051 | t3_w68txc | t5_2to41 | 10 | burner279: TIFU by looking at Twitter
while on the phone with my girlfriend I was looking through Twitter and a bit about myself I'm a sociopath that looks for things like what I saw just because I'm not supposed to see it and the thing I see don't hurt because of my lack of empathy so I had no reason to think it was a bad idea I've done these things before and it never hurt. doing what I usually do I looked at #gore out of curiosity and impulse I don't know what I expected but it wasn't what I saw I figured "it won't be that bad it's not like people will put real gore here"(obviously I'm a new Twitter user) now I won't say what I've seen because passing that on would be exposing Reddit to these things but let's just say I can't get what I've seen out of my eyes and it's like its burned into my brain this is by far the worst thing I've done or looked for I'm usually someone who looks for things I shouldn't be seeing and its never effected me as this did. my girlfriend helped me out a bit but it's still there and currently, I wish I had never done it I don't care what I have to give up I wish I never did and now its a burden to my girlfriend because she knows too I'm a sociopath so it's not hitting as it should be but it's not a feeling I'm used to. currently, I've been unable to stop seeing it everywhere look it's in my dreams in my heart and it is killing me I'm waiting for my girlfriend to wake up but I needed to get it off my chest again I'm a sociopath it's not normal for me to feel at all when it comes to this. I just try and see things because I can but currently I'm rethinking that way of living my curiosity has cursed me and now I don't know where to go from here I love my girlfriend for helping me stop shaking but it's not fully gone and I don't think it will be for a while. the hard part wasn't seeing it or knowing it happened the hard part was because this is something I almost had happen to me so seeing what could have been my fate was scary so yea I fucked up today and I'm glad I got things off my chest.
TL;DR i looked through #gore on Twitter and I regret being curious because now I'm traumatized from the things I saw and don't want to ever be curious again.
arcelyte: Anyone else find this difficult to read? OP, punctuation and run-on sentences. Look them up.
its_pho: They’re prolly just panicking dude, chill out
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1658596179 | 1658597766 | t3_w68xlu | t5_2to41 | 17 | J33f: TIFU by taking a stalkerish picture of my bosses wife ... and then group texting it to him
Alright ... this is a wild ride, so buckle up.
I'm in the Army. We moved a year ago to a new position and things have been a little rocky here and there, but for the most part the gig is great. I've hung out with my Chief and his wife and others and their wives, but I've never seen my immediate supervisor's wife. In almost a year, never once seen her and apparently she's extremely reclusive, due to body issues and some health concerns.
So for the past year, we've jokingly said that his wife is locked up in the basement at his place, under the stairs. All in good humor. He laughs, we all laugh. No big deal.
One day about a month or so ago, one of my coworkers chuckles in a joking fashion — and we're **ALL** in the room *(\* this is a keynote)* — and he asks if we all want to do a BBQ at the Supervisor's house and he immediately says, "Absolutely not." And we have a laugh, and I said, "Is it because we'd discover she's locked up in the basement?" Or something to this affect and we all chuckle and then the coworker says, "I've got $100 bucks to the first person who gets a picture of the boss's wife — for confirmation of life." And we all have another laugh. Typical work banter.
...
So we're headed over to stay with some friends and have an adult party while the kids have their party and play some games and we stop off at the grocery store. I'm in the car with the kids, while my wife runs into the store real quick for something.
She comes back out and opens the trunk of the vehicle and says my name hurriedly, and I turn around. She says, "Look out the front of the car. Isn't that your boss?"
And I look forward and sure enough, he's leaving the grocery store., and I said "Yeah."
And she says, "Look in front of him! That's his wife. He almost ran into me inside the store and didn't even recognize or remember me at all."
And I turn around and I'm like — Oh man! Now's my Chance! And I pull my phone up, zoom in, and fire.
*Mind you .*.. I'm in a car, in a parking lot facing another car and they're in the other aisle and we're in a different one. So I'm shooting a photo through the windshield of one car, through two windows of another car — and I get the back-left side of her shoulder and head. Horrible picture. Barely could even make out who it is.
So, I open out group text - which is literally all of us. Same people who are always talking. Always in the room joking. And I text, "Where's my $100!?" And then I send the poor quality photo and he responds that "this isn't cool" and I could have come over and said Hi to them.
Didn't think anything of it, until I'm being "written up" (*counseled*) the following week, because of unprofessional behavior.
/////
It turns out, when he got into the vehicle and plugged his phone in, that it connected and prompted across the dash that "someone" owed someone $100 and his wife asked who he owed, and he said no one and opened the text to find a picture of his wife and she's looking at it and is completely mortified by this creepy stalker picture -- and that she's just a joke to us all and that this is some sick game.
\\\\\\\\\\
I feel horrible about it, because it wasn't ever the intention. It had been something of an inside joke because of the team and a year of saying this — but the execution was botched and taken out of context.
It's just been gnawing at me and I figured that this was the best place to get it out of my head.
Maybe help someone else out who jokes around and has a good time with their boss — be sure to put your own limitations on that relationship and be cautious. I think if it was any of my other teammates or past bosses, the relationship is vastly different and I failed to *'read the room'.*
TL;DR - It's been a year and I've never met/seen my boss's wife. I managed a picture of her and sent it to our group chat, because it's been a running joke that she doesn't exist or is chained up under the basement stairs. It wasn't received well...
caseyjnz2: I think getting written up for unprofessional behavior is sort of singling you out for a whole slew of unprofessional behavior by everyone in the text simply because somebody's feelings got hurt by crossing an arbitrary line. I'm not condemning you for the unprofessional behavior. This stuff occurs everywhere and doesn't get any attention. It's all fun and games until.....insert incident here.......
J33f: Moreover, I was written up about a year long joke he’s been apart of, because I made *his boss* upset — I agree with you; it felt that way, but alas … boundaries.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1658600758 | 1658688550 | t3_w6ankj | t5_2to41 | 599 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying to my teacher that I like someone else in front of my crush.
[deleted]
HandoJobrissian: As a retired teacher, wtf? This was not something your teacher should have even asked, let alone hounded on. That's not appropriate whatsoever. That's shockingly creepy behavior.
SubtleName12: FR, complaint needs to be filed with the board.
TheAnimeBean: Now now, don't get too hasty. This is just a teacher trying to be friendly and be "involved" in their students lives. Every teacher does it to some extent. They meant no ill will im sure of it, just that in this instance, it had the rare occurrence of having a negative side effect.
You're going very far to want them to file a complaint. I'd say only do that after you address them and tell them not to keep doing that. THEN, make a complaint if they persist.
luctoni: Well teachers must know they are no grown ups, so they should be careful what they ask a child. They get cornered very easily
TheAnimeBean: Yes... but this question is an innocent one that basically everyone ask someone who single or in school. The question isn't out of the ordinary and bears no I'll will. A question like this is often very simple to the vast majority.
The teacher had no way of knowing that something like this could cause problems since it almost never does.
Simple, innocent, and very generic questions. Your parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, etc... anyone would ask you this and even ask follow up like the teacher did. Just unfortunately this had the very rare situation of cisong a slight issue.
I'll repeat this to people as many times as I must.
The teacher didn't do anything truly wrong, and especially not on purpose. They did NOT do anything improper or unprofessional (teacher training actually trains you to learn to connect with students and such), and they DEFINITELY DO NOT need to be reported, reprimanded, fored, or anything of that sorts. Just tell them it caused an issue and to stop... simple as that.
Dra5iel: The problem is this wasn't an innocent question to get to know a student better. This was a forceful invasion of privacy. The teacher asked multiples time despite negative answers and kept badgering the student until the teacher got an answer they liked. They did this publically in front of other members of the class. Then on a seperate occasion publicly brought up the issue again prying into the students affairs and asking for more details.
At the very least the conversation shouldn't have happened in front of the class and the teacher should have stopped after receiving the first answer.
TheAnimeBean: No, this is exactly how people tend to ask about a love interest. They push for an answer In a friendly way. It's like when someone wants to know a secret they find out you're keeping and so they beg to know more.
This is not a "forceful invasion of privacy", this is typical human behavior. This was the teacher trying to show a genuine interest in a kids life. And when she brings it up again is another common tactic used by people to be friendly with others, showing that she remembered their last conversation and actually cared about his response. Thus conversation is just like a teacher asking a kid about how their parents are doing and when they say sick, the teacher asking if they got better on a later date.
Also that wasn't badgering. She asked like 2 times, back to back.... Not bugging him about it for days on end or anything od the sort. She asked like how you would ask if someone is hungry and when they say no, you ask them are they sure.
You and everyone thinking otherwise is giving this situation a crass exaggeration.
individualizada: > No, this is exactly how people tend to ask about a love interest. They push for an answer In a friendly way. It's like when someone wants to know a secret they find out you're keeping and so they beg to know more.
r/arethentsokay Not everyone talks cryptically or dances around topics of conversation or says no when they mean yes and encourage the other party to push for something or whatever you think "normal human behaviour" is. No means no. Perhaps it would be different if the other party in this situation were a close friend of OP's, but they weren't, they were their teacher.
| 9 | 66.555556 | |
1658602741 | 1658683230 | t3_w6bdyi | t5_2to41 | 9,080 | Turbulent-Local-6013: TIFU by realizing I have been praying towards the north magnetic pole instead of Mecca
tldr at bottom.
​
Some time ago, I immigrated to America with my wife and kids. In my home country, it is tradition to mark the direction of Mecca with a sticker so that muslims (like me) know which direction to face when doing our 5 daily prayers.
My landlord has been very kind and has provided me with resources such as prayer mats and information on how to stay halal (he is not muslim hough). Thus when I saw a small arrow with a building sign, I took it as the prayer direction. after all, the building must be the Kaaba (in Mecca) and the arrow is just the marker identifying the direction. RIght? Right? Well, being a good muslim that I am, I decided to consult a second source, my teenage son! (he is way better with technology/English than I am)
Our conversation went something like (simplified a bit):
Me: Son, can you find the prayer direction?
Son: Hmmm, Hmmmm Give me a moment to finish my homework and I will be right on it.
1-2 hours later:
Son: Look dad! I have downloaded the Mecca App that always points towards Mecca (laughs mysteriously)
Me: Thanks!
Well, the app pointed towards the same direction as the symbol on the wall which totally eased my mind. Well this was not to last: My landlord had came over to replace our dryer and when I thanked him for being so thoughtful, he just told me that the sign was pointing towards the exit! He was pretty nice about it, especially given the fact that I had missed something so obvious. I caught him grinning a bit though when he was leaving.
​
And it turns out that my Son had been lazy and had just showed me the compass app on his iphone. It boggles my mind that the exit is also towards the north pole. How coincidently convenient.
​
I'm not mad or anything. I don't think my prayers in this time i'll be invalidated or anything. I just hope that my landlord doesn't take me as a total fool!
​
tldr: I have been praying towards to the north magnetic pole instead of mecca because my son pranked me and used a compass and I mistook a symbol placed there by my landlord.
algoporlacara: So... Have you noticed any difference?
Turbulent-Local-6013: not that I know of.
Plastic_Flounder_208: That should give you more answers than you’re prepared to hear
Hamzeh14: What do you mean? It will obviously make no difference the direction he prays. That’s not why Muslims pray towards Mecca.
Plastic_Flounder_208: Come on man. If makes no difference because Allah is about as real as the virgins welcoming his deceased followers.
rogue_jester: why you so pressed about who this man prays to
Plastic_Flounder_208: Not pressed but hardly helps humanity does it. We’ve out grown religion. Time to move on.
Hamzeh14: Let me ask you a question. What makes us argue over the existence of god? Do you think animals ponder their existence as humans do?
Plastic_Flounder_208: Animals ponder their next meal. Religious people….I don’t know if they ponder much more than they are taught from a young age.
Hamzeh14: That wasn’t the question. I mean why do we even think about who created us or the universe and everything. Not just religious people, but atheists too.Why do we even have opinions about that. Do you think animals think about their existence, of course not, like you said they think about their next meal due to their instinct, but why are we different?
dclxvi616: The only reason I have opinions about it is because there are so many people I have to share space with that are convinced that the earth, the universe and everything are the products of creation. If these people weren’t around to interact with, obviously we could spend much less time on the topic of creation. There have been several species of Great Apes that appear to ponder their existence. No need to ask what makes us different from those animals, we *are* those animals.
Hamzeh14: No we aren’t. You genuinely think we are the same as animals? Do you think animals could possibly have this conversation we’re currently having? No all they have is instincts. Humans have hopes, goals, guilt, happiness, sadness.
Oomba73: You've seriously never seen a happy or sad animal besides humans?
Hamzeh14: Are you seriously equating the simple feelings of animals to those of humans? Animals only have instinct that’s it
Oomba73: So now you're saying they have "simple feelings", but then imedietly retract that in the same statment by going back to instincts. Remember: you're the one who said only humans have emotions.
We can never truley know what another person or animal is really feeling, we can only make assumptions based on observation; their behavior, communications, and our own capacity for empathy. Those are admitedly subjective, but there is a LOT we can objectivly measure.
Aside from the numerous studies which continue to suprise me about how much greater the capacity animals have than previously assumed, our brains, particularly those of other mammels, function on nearly identical principals. To put it into basic terms for the sake of simplicity; when stressed the level of cortisol in the our blood and brain increase, when a 'positive' act it completed or received dopamine is realesed. Drugs can be administered to alter our concious experience in realativly predicable ways. Our enviorment inside and ouside our body/brain has a great deal of influence on ourselves. Who is to say it isnt all just instinct?
Hamzeh14: By simple feelings I meant their instincts. And I don’t see any point in continuing this argument when you can’t even see the emotional and mental differences between a human and an animal.
Oomba73: I never said humans did not have some form if unique capasity over other animals. In my biased human opinion, language is a huge trait that makes humans unique. That being said, it is unclear that we would even be able to recognize non-human languages much less actually decipher them.
It is clear now, however, that your own biases cloud your mind as what has been an honest good faith discussion has been interprted as an argumentative attack on your world view. You never brought anything to support your opinion, all you did was declare it as obvious and if others dont see it they're blind, that is bad faith. I guess humans aren't as smart as you think.
Hamzeh14: I see your point, and I may have been too defensive. But there’s a reason that humans are the only ones that have built such advanced societies and technology. Anyway I’ve forgotten why this discussion even started.
| 19 | 477.894737 | |
1658604093 | 1658627531 | t3_w6bmwo | t5_2to41 | 8 | PurpleConversation69: You’re acting like I knowingly went to work infected with Covid. I did not know I had Covid until after work that night. My work decided to fire all unvaccinated employees and make the call center vaccinated only. We were working from home up until this point.
When I went to work, I feel fine other than my throat being a little sore, but as I said before, that’s normal for me at the end of every work week. I take anywhere between 40 to 70 calls a day and work 4 days a week. I did not have a fever when entering the building and again my muscle pain is pretty regular too. I can’t really remember a day in the past 7 years where I haven’t woken up in pain. Pain is a daily part of my life, nothing felt off about my symptoms.
I immediately reported the test to my supervisor. I reported my positive result to the health department and haven’t left my apartment since finding out.
I’ve been fully vaccinated for over a year. I met the requirements for early vaccination because I have two risk factors that put me at risk for severe infection or death. That is also way after I tested positive. I was immediately put on antivirals.
fomoco94: As far as I'm concerned, you did knowingly go to work infected. You have a sore throat, a test is needed, regardless of if you think it's normal. u/Splyce123 is right, this (and the antivaxxers/antimaskers) is why this cycle is here to stay.
angstyart: Bitch if I tested every single time I had a sore throat I’d be clogging the test labs with useless spit. They already have to process the daily submissions of healthcare and social worker staff. Don’t be a dickhead unless you pay lab workers overtime.
fomoco94: Ever heard of a self-test? You can't be that ignorant...
angstyart: Ever heard of not everyone having access to them on a regular basis and them existing in a non-infinite capacity? Idiot…
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1658607023 | 1658702961 | t3_w6cykg | t5_2to41 | 2,590 | Spider222222: TIFU by not asking for price before ordering and not knowing Steak terms
Ok so this happened like 2 days ago I went to this very fance steak house woth my family of 9, none of us had been there before so did not know what to order so my brother takes a look at the menu and finds something called Wagyu Steak and says it looks good but says no price is listed it just says grams or something
So we order like 5 of them and a whole roasted chicken, the food comes and we all eat its really tasty and everyone has a nice fun time and enjoys themselves
You might be like oh everyhting went so well where is the f*** up well that happened when the bill came
The Bill came up to like £450 and we all were absolutely shocked like really? What was so expensive? And lo and behold the fricking steaks were like £75 each apparently it was imported from Japan or someplace, well fortunately I had enough money to pay as was saving money for something else
But we all could not stop stress laughing later that we just spent flipping almost £500 on steaks like man that is a lot money that could have been used for something more useful than food which you will shit out later anyways, still we never expected steaks to be that damn expensive, it was our first time eating like proper steak but still holy damn
TL;DR : went to a really expensive steak house and ordered £450 worth of steaks without knowing price or steak lingo the paid with money saved for something else
Neenknits: There is a basic rule, “if you have to ask the price, you can’t afford it”. If the menu doesn’t list the price, it generally means it’s extra expensive. “Market rate” usually means extra expensive.
EuphoriaSoul: This reminds me of a quote from the co-founder of Instagram. He said the definition of wealth isn't millions and billions of dollar. The definition of wealth is to be able to go to any restaurant and order anything off the menu not giving a crap. It is kind of profound yet douchie at the same time. Personally I can only do that with max 2 $$ sign in Google map/yelp on my pay day...
Jameschoral: That’s how I roll when I’m in Las Vegas. I usually fund my trips with gambling winnings and end up spending it at high end restaurants.
spiderskizzles: Sure! lol ;)
Jameschoral: It’s true, I was taught how to play cards at a very young age by my grandmother and had an economics teacher in high school who created his own blackjack system similar to the one used by the MIT team in 21 and taught it to us.
I’m very strict when I gamble. I leave my wallet in my room and only take money that I’m prepared to lose. I play single deck blackjack and a few other card games, and try to find a full table to play on. I usually go down with 20-30 times the minimum bet I’m willing to make, and I never vary my bet. Additionally, I never play my winnings - when I run out of my initial bankroll, I’m done. I usually walk away either even or ahead, and then use that money to spend throughout my trip.
spiderskizzles: If you can beat Vegas reliably then shouldn't you move to Vegas and be a professional gambler?
Neenknits: That isn’t beating Vegas. That is allocating how much you spend on the evening’s entertainment, and quitting at a sensible time. You can’t win big that way, or even a lot, not consistently. But, it is a safe way to fund your evenings on vacation, and not be expensive.
spiderskizzles: This guy said he has a bespoke card counting system that he learned from a high school economics teacher blackjack guru. He said he is funding his entire trip and eating fancy dinners off his winnings, which is thousands of dollars of winnings. He implied that he can do this every time he goes to vegas.
You are talking about something else entirely, and much more reasonable.
Jameschoral: My teacher had a bespoke counting system, which I’ve tried and is annoying as fuck, and takes all the fun out of playing, and which the casinos are on the lookout for. I play basic single deck blackjack strategy which pushes the overall odds into your favor, and doesn’t require you to keep count on a multi-deck shoe.
It’s not considered counting because the cards change every hand if you’re playing on a full table.
Im sorry if you think I fund my entire trip by gambling every time I go; my winnings mostly just cover my spending money or a few nice dinners.
Neenknits: Just playing slots, you can take a modest amount of money for an evening’s entertainment, and use it to pay for food, drinks are covered by the gambling, and gamble. And either when time is up you have money left, or you stop when it’s gone. The machines are set such that you generally can leave without loosing it all. That feels like winning, even though technically it’s not. It’s just how much your entertainment of gambling cost.
Jameschoral: The Nevada gaming commission mandates that slot machines must “theoretically” pay out minimum 75% of wagers. This means that the casino is making a 25% profit on every dollar you put in, regardless of the jackpots that are won. There’s a reason why a casino has a dozen card tables and a thousand slot machines; the odds of winning are horrible and they generate the most revenue for a casino.
Besides, I don’t like playing games where you have no control of the outcome.
| 12 | 215.833333 | |
1658607175 | 1658690093 | t3_w6d0gd | t5_2to41 | 268 | [deleted]: TIFU by pleasuring myself with the baby camera on
Before you ask, this is a throwaway account, and no baby was present in the room at the time.
Lately, I have been looking after my baby nephew, his crib is in my bedroom as my brothers bedroom has no space for the crib, and the crib has a baby camera attached to it.
My brother took his baby out for a stroll earlier today, giving me some much needed womanly time to myself, if you know what I mean, I finish up, shower off, and head downstairs to join mum for some TV time...
Only, when I get downstairs, my mum is in the kitchen doing the dishes, and on the TV is casted live footage of the baby cam in my room, which has half of my bed in plain sight. My heart sinks, but my mum doesn't say anything to me, doesn't even look at me any differently, and I hate not knowing if she saw me doing it or not.
TL;DR: I may or may not have fingered myself on camera for my mother.
EmptyTh0ughts: If I would of seen my daughter doing this I would not pass up the chance to humiliate her. (That's just the great mom I am.)
*She comes down stairs
I hoped you washed your hands after that abomination.
You got pretty good hand technique, dear.
Did you get everything fingered out up there?
Now I know why you never cum out of your room.
Yeah my daughter hates me and is probably scarred for life. I am a deranged human being.
If she did see it she'll just pretend like she didn't most mom's like to spare their kids the embarrassment.
Edit: Spelling
Background-Falcon-74: You must’ve never had a mother
EmptyTh0ughts: No not a good one anyway! But I have a relationship with my daughter that we razz on each other and I would not of missed the opportunity to get her back for all the embarrassing things she's done to me but I would of never told anyone or made it an issue after that. I can't believe I got so down voted even my daughter thought it was halirous. But whatever I already know I'm strange.
DragonRuins: People on reddit are way too sensitive and can't handle any kind of razzing IRL. The best relationships I've ever had were ones where you felt comfortable enough to mess with each other
EmptyTh0ughts: Thanks I was starting to feel like an ass, but after my daughter read it and laughed and said it was funny I was like forget what others think. Her opinion means more to me then anything.
DragonRuins: That's what matters the most. I couldn't imagine any of my other friendships without that kind of fun on a daily basis
EmptyTh0ughts: Exactly me and my friends screw with each other all the time. Prank each other, give each other embarrassing nick names. It makes things fun, especially at work where the day can drag by.
| 8 | 33.5 | |
1658608665 | 1658609863 | t3_w6djau | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a girl trick me in to getting her pregnant and now my life’s ruined
[deleted]
arlondiluthel: I'm no lawyer, nor am I familiar with UK/Aussie laws, but this feels multiple levels of illegal (to be fair, you trying to force her to take a morning-after pill isn't any better, even if she didn't actually consume it).
Ok-Mode-7902: I didn’t force her. I asked her to take it and she did so but reluctantly after giving excuses like “let’s see what happens” and “I’m not ovulating so there’s no point” I said please just take it just incase, you know I’m not ready for kids so she said fine and we went to buy it. If she’d refused I would have never had forced her.
arlondiluthel: Fair. If there's a legal avenue to take, make sure you include all of that information, in case she tries to claim you tried to force her.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1658608857 | 1658620451 | t3_w6dluc | t5_2to41 | 10 | LingonberrySilver: tifu by almost hooking up with my friend
TIFU by almost hooking up with my friend
So me (M20) and my girlfriend (F19) broke up around a month ago and we're both still processing the whole thing. But unfortunately horny almost won last night.
I had my ex and my friend (F21) over last night. (context me and my ex are trying to be friends) and everything was fine. We all played guitar hero, had some drinks, went to wawa and all was grand. The sleeping arrangements were that my ex was in the basement, my friend took my bed, and i slept in my parents room cause they went on vacation.
I left my phone charger in my room and ended up going to my room to grab it. and me and my friend started just talking for a while. eventually we started making out and getting touchy feely and I had to stop things cause i felt guilty about where things are going. However i want to hookup with my friend and i know they feel the same way.
Like do i let my morals about how fresh the breakup is prevent me from booking up with me friend? I have confused feelings about the whole things.. any advice?
TL:DR I almost hooked up with my friend after breaking up with my gf less than a month ago and I have mixed feelings about the whole situation. plz give advice
Edit 1: btw im not looking to date my friends. either one hookup or a FWB thing
OriginalPeach8152: Haha that ex would've thought it was 1906 in San Francisco if that was me.
tacosauce93: Wooowww
OriginalPeach8152: Suppose it's probably a bit much to expect her to feel the collective pain of 3000 deaths.
tacosauce93: They say it ain't the shake of the quake, but the burning fire of desire that kills you.
| 5 | 2 | |
1658611160 | 1658617501 | t3_w6efya | t5_2to41 | 43 | neurofungus: TIFU by not washing my hands BEFORE going to the bathroom!
So as I'm getting things ready for dinner, pizza to be specific, I'm getting all the toppings ready before I throw the dough. I've chopped the mushrooms, peppers and finally the jalapenos. I think to myself, before I slice the tomatoes, I should really go to the bathroom as I've been holding it in for a little while and well, that's not good. I think, I'll be right back to go to the bathroom and unzip and do my business. I finish and wash my hands well. Go back to the kitchen and I don't get through the fourth slice of tomato before this burning feeling in my penis begins. That's when I realize that the capsaicin from the jalapenos was still on my finger tips when I went no.1. I tried putting yogurt on my member, washing with soap and water, but nothing seemed to help! Oh the agony! It's finally subsided, but I'm hoping that sharing my story will help me remember to wash my hands BEFORE and after going to the bathroom. Thank you for reading.
TL;DR: I didn't wash my hands after chopping jalapeno peppers, then went to answer nature's call. Burning ensued
RudeSprinkles1240: I've done that and I don't have a penis.
Opus-the-Penguin: ...anymore.
RudeSprinkles1240: Noooooooo. You don't have a vagina any more.
I have never had a penis.
| 4 | 10.75 | |
1658615795 | 1658715586 | t3_w6g61h | t5_2to41 | 14,182 | p-heiress: TIFU by catching my boss cheating on his wife
My boss (M) has been a co-owner of our franchise for about 5 years. His wife (E) is our office manager. They have 2 kids, one being barely a year old. It's just three other people in the office. Me, and two female coworkers (A & R). Thursday afternoon while A was on lunch, I went to ask my boss about something, and I instead found him making out with R in his office. He had his hands wrapped around her waist, grabbing her butt, and her arms were around his neck. They immediately pulled back and tried to play it off.
The next day, my husband and I had to stay home because he was exposed to someone with Covid, and we were both ill. I messaged E and told her we needed to talk in person, but she said she's out of town until next week and to call her, so I did. I told E about what happened, and she was in shock. M called my phone a few hours later while I was in the shower, and my husband answered. M asked that I call him back, but I couldn't bring myself to do it because of how bad my nerves and anxiety were after everything that happened. Today, I went to check my work email to see what was on the agenda for Monday. I was locked out. Tried to log into our scheduling website, and I couldn't get in there either. I messaged M, and he said I was no longer employed because of "excessive absences" even though termination would be the 3rd offense, and this was the 1st. I work in an "at-will, right-to-work" state so now I can't even do anything about it.
TL;DR caught my boss cheating on his wife (my manager) with a coworker. Told the wife and now I'm fired for a completely unrelated reason. Can't do anything about it.
Edit: I did already contact a lawyer, minutes after I found out I was terminated. They said there's basically nothing I can do.
Edit2: a lot of people are mad I "made their marriage my business" but when an affair is happening 10 feet from my desk in an office I'm in 40 hours a week and I work with all three of the people involved??? That's my business now. I didn't ask to walk in on them. It just happened. Maybe people shouldn't conduct their affairs where they work. But that's too hard for some of you to wrap your minds around.
skeetmand00: Right to work doesn't mean you can be wrongfully terminated. If you talk to a lawyer I'm sure they can advise you better. I'd call the department of labor and report a retaliatory termination.
MikeNoble91: >Right to work doesn't mean you can be wrongfully terminated.
[No, they don't.](https://www.ncsl.org/research/labor-and-employment/right-to-work-laws-and-bills.aspx) Right to work laws are about whether employees can be required to pay union dues.
[At will employment](https://www.ncsl.org/research/labor-and-employment/at-will-employment-overview.aspx) means that employers can fire employees for almost any reason, and it also means that:
>At-will also means that an employer can change the terms of the
employment relationship with no notice and no consequences. For
example, an employer can alter wages, terminate benefits, or reduce paid
time off.
Unfortunately, it looks like OP is kind of screwed.
Magnusg: Well there are certainly reasons you could sue if you were terminated in an at will state, but unfortunately your boss being mad at you for sticking your nose in his relationship, whether morally right or not, is not one of them.
Algur: This is a retaliatory termination, which is illegal.
Booker_the_booker: Yeah. And if OP was working at a large company, it’d be a different story. But for a company with 3 employees, a lot of these labor laws don’t apply. Lawyer didn’t take the case because there’s no money to be made.
sdf_cardinal: It’s a franchise.
Booker_the_booker: Sigh that’s not how franchises work.
sdf_cardinal: Sigh. I understand that but it’s not some 3 person small business being run out of a garage we’re talking about.
Lawyer might have not taken the case because they are lazy / not enough money for them… not
That there is not a case.
Mnawab: Bro your not a lawyer, stop assuming the lawyer is lazy lol. She probably lives in America and In America corporations have all grounds. Especially in red states where the fire at will is a very popular state law
sdf_cardinal: Bro. Chill, this is Reddit. This is how this website works.
Also people still win wrongful termination suits in red states. Franchises have policies for their franchisees that they must adhere too. She may have more avenues and I wouldn’t quit just because one lawyer said no.
Booker_the_booker: If you think OP has any chance of getting the corporate company to take action for something like this, you’re being very naive. Her boss is the owner of a franchise location, it’s not like he’s the boss of a corporate run entity and is employed by the brand. For all intents and purposes, her place of employment will be considered a small business with less than 5 employees by a court or lawyer for a case like this. I know it’s frustrating to hear but OP doesn’t have much recourse here. Her fastest way to get back into a good situation is to file for unemployment benefits and find a new job. Pursuing this further would be waste of time and resources.
sdf_cardinal: If the employer didn’t follow company/franchise policy that can impact them.
The employee may not even want $ and may have other motivations (letting the franchise know that this guy is a piece of shit and fucking his employees — which is probably a policy the franchise has).
Yet you’re fostering this myth that small businesses somehow get a pass from this.
Edit: All I’m saying is she needs a second opinion.
Booker_the_booker: Not a myth. Reality according to the circumstance. Why don’t you try calling a number of lawyers and finding out for yourself. Make sure to include the fact that you have no idea whether there actually are any fraternization rules for a franchise owner, just hopeful there might be. (Even if there was...maybe a “don’t do that anymore” warning would be the extent of it? A large corporate company is not shutting down a business location and bringing negative attention to their brand for something like this. And if they did, the franchise owner probably has better chance finding a lawyer to take that case than OP does with hers). Don’t leave out the fact that the actual business your filing your complaint against has less than 5 employees.
You are probably grossly overestimating what OP would get out of a lawsuit. Yes the moral victory seems important when it’s someone else’s problem. But when it’s your time, hours from your life being wasted trying to possibly win a couple months salary or maybe get your job back at an office where the boss fucking hates you....it’s probably not worth it. Pretty unlikely a lawyer will take a case like this.
sdf_cardinal: Ok. Thanks for your input. Have a great weekend
| 15 | 945.466667 | |
1658618049 | 1658662859 | t3_w6gyvx | t5_2to41 | 847 | Careful-Note-5534: TIFU by misusing the “Bug Bite Thing”
You guys have probably heard of the Bug Bite Thing. It’s basically a suction cup that you put on mosquito bites to make them stop itching. Today I was bored, and while I was sitting on my couch my Bug Bite Thing was conveniently on the coffee table right beside me. For whatever reason I decided that it would be wise to stick the bug bite thing on various different parts of my body, unfortunately including my face, even though there was no bug bite on my face. I accidentally suctioned too hard and it got sort of stuck on my face. Instead of being smart and just releasing the suction, I decided to pull as hard as I could. This resulted in a giant purple hickey all over the entire right side of my face and my entire family is asking me who did it to me. I was hoping that maybe people would think I just had a black eye, but no, it is easy to tell that is a hickey. I could put makeup over it but I have no idea how makeup works so unless I get somebody to do it for me I think that is out of the picture as far as solutions to this problem. Thankfully none of you guys should have to worry about this happening to you because you guys probably aren’t as stupid as me.
TL;DR I stuck a suction cup on my face and got a giant hickey for everyone to see.
icedtea4all: I'm so glad this story didn't go where I thought it was going to go.
Careful-Note-5534: So am I.
CorrosiveAlkonost: Well, at least you didn't suck out an eyeball or worse, some poop.
chronoboy1985: If he managed to suck poop out of his eye socket, I’d say we’ve gotta helluva product!
| 5 | 169.4 | |
1658622673 | 1658626546 | t3_w6ijrl | t5_2to41 | 23 | Supportivehubs: TIFU by barfing on my wife and mother-in-law's hopes and dreams
So my wife's mom was staying with us for a while near the holidays, and they were doing their own thing, so I ate a couple edibles. I was careful to follow the dosage on the package since I'm not a frequent user. I barely ever even drink, but edibles just sounded fun for some reason that night.
I relaxed and talked to them for a bit, then went and watched a show in the other room, waiting for it to kick in. A nice high started about an hour later. I ate some snacks and hung out. But then it turned worse. My mind started racing like I've never felt before. Self-narrating at a hundred miles an hour, in involuntary circles. Thinking down rabbit holes so fast I couldnt keep focused on music, TV, or reading. I tried going outside, going to a dark room, meditating, and nothing worked.
I looked up "how to sober up from edibles" and ended up eating a spoonful of cinnamon, and doing a few other bizarre things I found online, to no avail.
So I sat down at the kitchen table, where my wife and her mom were doing some project with posters and magazines. I started trying to tell them about my predicament but couldn't get it out clearly or convincingly. I said something like "Guys I'm too high. Can't I not be high now, please? It doesn't feel good anymore." That took several minutes and a tremendous exertion of focus to get out.
Then, all of a sudden, I projectile vomited the entire contents of my stomach onto the kitchen table, my lap, my wife, and my mother-in-law. Stunned, they suddenly understood I actually didn't feel well. So they had me strip my clothes off, wipe myself down, and go to bed.
In the morning, they asked how I was feeling, and I said much better, and apologized for barfing on them, and that my wife was left to clean it up. My wife explained that it was kind of funny, and something of a bad omen. Because the project they were working on was making "vision boards", like a collage of their hopes and dreams and goals and aspirations for the coming year. And I puked all over it.
TLDR: Got too high on an edible and barfed all over the table where my wife and her mom were making vision boards of their hopes for the new year.
Edit: Since some people think this is fake, [here's a conversation with my friend the next day, with timestamp. ](https://i.imgur.com/kDDj8N6.jpg) Only inaccuracy was the timeline I guess. It wasn't the "coming new year", it was just after new years.
1Sluggo: Your account is 21 minutes old; so you created an account to tell an unbelievable story?
Supportivehubs: Yeah a throwaway account. I thought it was pretty common. I don't normally post on reddit so I don't know what farming karma means. I didn't think karma really did anything. Do you get extra features or something?
This did actually happen, not sure what I'd gain by making it up.
1Sluggo: Did I say anything about karma farming? If you don’t normally post why bother making a throwaway?
Supportivehubs: Oh that was the other guy that said that. I made a throwaway because I'm a grad student and my other account does have some post history and can be traced back to me. In my field they do character and fitness investigations and using weed can be a problem. Plus it takes like two seconds to make a new account, why wouldn't I?
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1658621262 | 1658627156 | t3_w6i2q0 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking too much...
[deleted]
[deleted]: Own it.
Jwoff11: This. You’ll tell this story and laugh in a few years.
QuteFx: Already laughing!
Told my bro and he gifted me a bong and we hit up the dispensary for the goods for my new bong!
| 4 | 2 | |
1658622766 | 1658633263 | t3_w6ikuq | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: tifu by being lazy and using my PJs as a pad.
[deleted]
NukeWarz: lmao is he not aware of what your body does?
Foxrex: And the purrrfectly fine cat on the counter?
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1658624872 | 1658646280 | t3_w6j9wo | t5_2to41 | 637 | TrumpsFartGas: TIFU by realizing I'd donated an ornate jeweled butt plug to a Parkinson's charity store
[removed]
idkwhatimbrewin: This TIFU requires a pic of said ring holder for full effect 😂
jenny10002: Yeah I’m a little confused how a butt plug could double as a ring holder.
thetdub: It does kind of hold your ring.
froggyforest: incorrect. your ring holds it.
thetdub: 👆the words I was looking for!
| 6 | 106.166667 | |
1658625365 | 1658719767 | t3_w6jffu | t5_2to41 | 1,125 | throwaway-the-hair: TIFUpdate by giving my ex money to surprise my boys
This is a proper update to my original post so before you say “you posted this a million times”, my posts have been re-uploaded on multiple subs, tiktok, facebook, youtube. It's annoying but I cannot control it. This is MY update and I updated on another sub but thought I would share it here because it’s the OG.
My first post was about how my ex stole money, destroyed my non verbal twins communication tablets, and was going to get away with it. I had to go to three different police stations to report it and despite what two cops said, I wasn’t going to “call it even”. I officially filed a report on my destroyed property. I filed in civil court and knew it was going to take awhile but I wasn't giving up. When the repo man came knocking on my door looking for my ex I gave him the address to her new place and where her new job was because no one would “rat on her”. It took less than an hour for her car to get towed. Sweet, petty revenge.
I received a call from an officer asking me if I had been paying my girlfriend's insurance and wanted confirmation that it was up to date. I told him I didn’t have a girlfriend but it sounded like it could be my ex. She had gotten pulled over and she couldn’t provide her car insurance card but she said her bf (me) had been paying it. This bitch actually thought I was still paying it. I told the cop no, she had stolen from me, and I had cut ties with her.
Long story short she was in Possession of a Controlled Substance, driving with no insurance, driving with a suspended license, and FTA/THEFT 4TH. The last charge was because she was stupid enough to still have the tablets in the car despite them being busted. The serial numbers matched and while I’m not getting them back, it’s a criminal charge vs civil now.
I looked up her arrest record and found out she has an alias of “T BONE”. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Something I knew nothing about and can’t help but want to thank her for stealing from me because I wouldn't have walked away. As pathetic as that is, I met her right after my daughter died and I ignored the red flags. She was excellent at hiding things because I never saw her take a drug once, little did I know I was living with T Bone the thug.
TL:DR; A proper update about my fuck up for giving my ex birthdy money for my twins. T-Bone the tablet destroyer got arrested and charged!
Nice_Ebb5314: Are you going to get full custody of the kids?
ThisIsWhoIAm78: He always had full custody, he's a single father.
Nice_Ebb5314: I didn’t see that posted in here, I just saw they had a back post for the other posts
ThisIsWhoIAm78: Honestly, it all sounds like a LARP. If her car was repossessed, what was she pulled over in? If she got a new car, why would she assume OP would be paying insurance for it? That makes zero sense.
throwaway-the-hair: > Honestly, it all sounds like a LARP. If her car was repossessed, what was she pulled over in?
I went no contact with her after she stole from me. Would you like her number to ask her yourself since you are so invested??
Also your other comment saying once the bank repo's the car it goes straight to auction is wrong. There is time to pay and get it back but again, idk what car she was driving.
ThisIsWhoIAm78: No there isn't. Your time to pay is BEFORE they declare you have defaulted on the loan - usually 90 days of grace period (though it can be as little as 30). But once they've set it up for repo, you're done.
I'm not that invested, but I can spot inconsistencies and ask questions when something smells fishy. I also note that you get super defensive and aggressive when anyone questions your tale, when initially I just asked a simple question and you failed to answer. Once I called BS, you suddenly jumped in and got pissy. Listen, YOU'RE the one who is making the claim that she had her car repossessed because of you, hahaha, and then she got pulled over in her car and thought you'd still be paying her insurance. And why would she be driving around with two broken tablets? And why is her license suspended? And seriously, repo men can find her with no issue. They will take it straight from your workplace - they actually prefer to nab it in public. I had a coworker whose car was just gone one afternoon, and it had been repossessed from a closed, gated parking lot. And trust me, they have private search databases that pull from current public records, they KNOW where she lives and works. Like, none of this makes any sense. It's clear rage bait, and it worked. A shitty woman, special needs kids, poor vulnerable man, terrible behavior from shitty woman, then sweet revenge that is hilarious and totally what would happen in real life. 🙄
You'd have been better off keeping it simple and not trying to milk the story for more and more attention.
throwaway-the-hair: > But once they've set it up for repo, you're done.
Are you seriously saying people don't get a small window of time after a repo to get the car back? A quick google search says you are wrong and I've had two cars repo'd and both times I was given a chance to pay. You are clearly living in your own world.
You are pissy because I didn't respond to your initial comment fast enough like you stated in a previous comment.
I don't have to "milk" anything. I get multiple messages and comments a day asking for updates, so I update. Reddit karma isn't real, you can't do anything with it so please f*ck off.
| 8 | 140.625 | |
1658626407 | 1658627793 | t3_w6jrrw | t5_2to41 | 42 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #36! Come share your stories and hang out!
Archangel935: Dawg i’m just here **EXISTING**
TallDarkandWTF: Ya done fucked up
Archangel935: can’t catch a break fr‼️💢😩😩
| 4 | 10.5 | |
1658627251 | 1658628187 | t3_w6k1dt | t5_2to41 | 15 | Dwestmor1007: TIFU by not paying attention to the conversation
Obligatory this literally just happened. So I have bad social anxiety. I Have a hard time speaking to pretty much anyone and most people think I’m odd because I have few social skills. This weekend we were visiting my husbands estranged family for the first time in 3 years and pretty much only the 3rd time I’ve ever met them total. Despite the estrangement I still want them to like me especially now that I’m pregnant and would like my child to have them in their lives at least a little bit.
It’s the last night, I’d managed to do fair job at appearing normal thus far but have often felt left out of conversations so I’ve just been inserting whatever “interesting facts” I could here or there. We were all sitting around the fire and I was barely paying attention to the conversation playing on my phone. I hear my husband say something about fireflies. My brain seized onto that with a vague thought of “oh I know a fact about that” so I try to become a part of the conversation but inserting a weird “fact” about fireflies that I learned somewhere….I honestly wasn’t paying attention and I should have been because what my husband said was the very fact I spouted…except it wasn’t a fact…it was something that had been in the movie we saw last night as a group. A “fact” that everyone had roasted mercilessly afterwards and my husband was saying it as a joke…and my dumb brain had forgotten where I’d heard that “fact”. So I just straight face said a ludicrous fact as if I was some sort of authority…one that we had all literally laughed about for a good 10 minutes the night before that anyone believed it or would say it in conversation.
Now I can’t look at anyone, I’m beet red, and using Reddit to avoid looking at anyone. Please god let this chair swallow me.
TLDR: wasn’t paying attention and absent mindedly spouted a “fact” that was something we’d all made fun of the night before.
firey21: I do this sort of thing on purpose lol. Drives my wife crazy.
Dwestmor1007: Say wrong facts or set her up to do it?
firey21: Make up facts and she believes them and has repeated them before.
Dwestmor1007: Absolutely diabolical lol
| 5 | 3 | |
1658630543 | 1658698655 | t3_w6l379 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Helpful-Speaker1772: tifu by sleeping with my best friends girl
Tifu by having sex with my best friends ex
My Best friend and his girl where havin alot of drama the last few weeks and they didnt do good with eachother. They broke up a few days ago and we where all together with a few other friends. We drank more then abit to much and they had more problems at that day. We had alot of fun anyways and kept going through the night. My friends told me to sleep in her room as we were partying. We then got on the way to go sleeping. We had a few flirts with each other on that day an decided to do a lil bs by teasing eachother. It went to more then that and we slept with eachother. One hour into that act someone knocked... It was my best friend. We then got out of the bedroom and they talked with one another. Later he came down to me and the other friends. Her face was white as a ghost and my friend looked more then pissed. He wanted to talked with me outside. We talked and I didnt apologized bc there was nothing to apologize to. I knew it was shitty and i deserved everything he wanted to do to me. We talked and then I asked him to punch me (bc i obviously deserved it). I fainted for a split second and was totally fine with that. We then talked about what we do now and he told us what he is gonna do. He wants both of us to stay in his life and get our shit together ( We both struggle alot with depression and trauma and I am very much a person who goes for someone if there is the slightest bit of attention bc damn I aint got that shit in years). I will start talking to my old therapist in a few day and try to be better than that. I still think it mostly killed our friendship but I hope he still stays with me even if he cant trust me no more. I am thankfull for having him and still stabbed his back that bad. I am not a good person by one bit and if there is more hate and anger from other people i totally deserve it in any way.
TL:DR.
SadBoyGreed: do you know what tldr means?
Helpful-Speaker1772: Actually idfk.. Is my first post and dont know shit tbh
SadBoyGreed: 😭😭 its cool bro it stands for Too Long Didn't Read. basically the shortest possible version of the story lol
Helpful-Speaker1772: Oh ok thanks i jist put it in bc the bot told me to so. And its actually as short as I can get it
SadBoyGreed: Say happy cake day bitch
jethita: Happy Cake Day
SadBoyGreed: thanks 😁
| 8 | 0.5 | |
1658621691 | 1658672035 | t3_w6i7wd | t5_2to41 | 162 | Brotega87: TIFU by getting a massage and peeing on myself
Obligatory I'm on my phone and posting. This happened quite a few years ago, but I finally have gotten the courage to post it.
I was 25(F) and it was my first pregnancy. When it comes to my body, I am extremely shy and not very confident in my appearance. I've been this way since I've been a child.
The pregnancy was mostly uneventful except at about the 8 month mark when everything started to hurt. My back felt like an elephant slept on it every night.
My mom is a licensed massage therapist and owns a salon and spa. She was mostly retired, but kept suggesting I get a pregnancy massage by her. I had some reservations, but finally agreed when the pain was unbearable.
The day of the appointment I anxiously made sure I was free of most hair. Just that task alone made me almost want to not go through with it. Shaving in the last month of pregnancy is like trying to wrestle with a wet bag of potatoes.
At the time I thought that if overly prepared that nothing could go wrong. Right? Wrong. So wrong.
I arrived and my mom ushered me into one of the open rooms. The table was already set up with sheets, the speaker was playing some calming nature noises, and there was a slow burning candle that gave the room a cozy feel.
I was excited. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad and I would finally get the relief I needed. Then my mom uttered the words that felt like a slap to my face.
"Take off your clothes and I'll help you onto the table."
How dare she? Didn't she know how insecure I was? My body had changed and she had the audacity to try and help me? Not today, mom.
I brought my hand up to my chest and gasped like she had offended each generation of family that had passed.
"No way," I whispered. "Please get out."
"Oh stop. I'm your mom and I'm just trying to help you-"
No my lip is quivering. "I can do it myself."
Realizing that it was now my hormones speaking to her and not the rational individual I typically am, she put up her hands (bless her) and started to back out of the room.
Pregnancy massage tables have an insert where the woman can hopefully squish her boobs and stomach so that they happily rest in a hammock. Before shutting the door she let me know to lay on my stomach once I was done getting undressed and she would be back in 15 minutes.
I was determined to get undressed quickly and haul myself onto this table. In my haste, I could've swore she said back first. I took a few steps back, bit my bottom lip, and let my stubbornness and hormones propel me forward. I jumped, similar to a wet noodle, a triumphant smile on my face, when suddenly I felt the hammock cradle my butt.
I fell into the hole like a pile of rocks, my arms and legs both straight up into the air, and the sheets wedging me in like hardened cement. I desperately tried to get out, but it was impossible. At this point I quietly start calling for help. I didn't want to yell because this was still my mom's place of business and I didn't want to cause a scene.
What felt like an eternity later, she walks in and pauses. We both lock eyes and at the same time burst into laughter. I'm trying to explain to her what happened, while still laughing, and praying she could pull me out.
She's trying and now we're laughing harder. At 8 months pregnant, and my limbs pressing to my body like a folded taco, I start to pee.
"I'm peeing!" I cry-laugh.
Now she's crossing her legs while still trying to pull me out. I'm finally free and standing there, stark naked, while trying to clean myself off. Once everything was clean, including myself, we started the massage which was wonderful.
Not only did my mom see me naked and stuck like a turtle, but she also witnessed me peeing on myself. I'm a mom to 4 now and no longer care what anyone sees.
TL;DR got a massage while pregnant and got stuck in the table. Ended up laughing so hard I peed and needed to let my mom see me naked to pull me out.
clpds1989: Hahah! I regularly get massages due to my neck and back problems. My massage therapist has told me she's seen everything and I don't need to shave.
She's said to me quote: "Sweetie, I massage fat hairy men. As long as my hands aren't getting caught in your hair, I'm golden." 🤣🤣🤣
I'm still also very self conscious about anyone seeing me naked. I use this as practice as someone who sees me naked on a semi regular basis 😂😂😂😂.
Btw, you don't have to be fully naked. You can keep your underwear on.
Brotega87: Now that I think about it I might've kept my underwear one, but sadly had to take them off because....pee. Then I gloriously went home with a nice breeze
My mom used to tell people the same thing. She does not care how they look or how hairy they are 😂
| 3 | 54 | |
1658631758 | 1658767095 | t3_w6lh0d | t5_2to41 | 18 | torehislip: TIFU by pulling away from a kiss
Today my bf came over and we sat down to watch some TV together.
Mid watching, we started touching and then we kissed. It was a long kiss, but it went a bit longer than I wanted it to, and after sometime it became a bit awkward as he was moving his mouth around while still kissing me.
I got uncomfortable and gently started to push him, telling him to go back but he didn't, so I pushed him hard and pulled away myself.
However, the reason he had held on for so long was that his lower lip had somehow entangled itself in my braces and he was trying to get it out. When I pulled away it tore his lower lip quite a bit and he started bleeding.
I apologised to him a lot and he says it's not my fault but I wanna make it up to him somehow, any ideas?
TLDR: Pulled away from a kiss not realising my bf's lip was caught in my braces, ended up tearing his lip
KinglyQueenOfCats: >I got uncomfortable and gently started to push him, telling him to go back but he didn't,
If he didn't say anything to you or indicate to you there was a problem, I don't think you're at fault. If you're not comfortable in a physical situation, it is fine to remove yourself.
He could (perhaps should) have brought his hands up to untangle from the sounds of it too.
You said sorry. Don't think there's anything else you need to do, though ice cream could be nice.
torehislip: He said he did try to tell me with gestures but my eyes were closed. And he agrees that I was uncomfortable so I pushed him off so he's not angry with me but I still feel terrible
KinglyQueenOfCats: If you asked him to get off and he heard you and didn't even make a "mrrpldj" in response or touch you in some way to indicate something was wrong, it doesn't seem he tried to tell you.
It's OK to feel mildly guilty, but be careful you don't take on too much responsibility for what happened. Be realistic - it was an accident that was no one's fault. In general, society teaches AFABs (and some AMABs, but it's quite a bit less common) to take more responsibility for others' physical and emotional states than they're actually responsible for. Actively working on that mindset is what will help future generations to not be under the same burden. Accidents happen, deal with them, but don't take on more responsibility than you're actually responsible for.
truckingman2022: Are you ignorant? A mgndjdk to indicate somethings wrong bro you must be 12 part of the new generation that talks bad about men grow up quit trying to be tender to a woman who loves her man go back to your iPad and let the men do work out here boy
KinglyQueenOfCats: ?
If you can't speak and/or your gestures are unheeded, you make a noise. Obviously, stating "my lip is caught" would be the best path, but when one's lip is stuck one is not always clearly articulate. If you can't use words, you use noise and tone to get someone's attention and convey something is wrong. Hence saying "didn't even" (ie at a minimum) rather than "clearly he should have".
I am utterly disinterested in OP as a romantic/sexual target. But she needs to know that accidents happen and we learn from them; she did not intentionally hurt him and she was in discomfort so since she has apologized she is good to go. He has taken responsibility for his part, so she should let him take that responsibility.
truckingman2022: I didn’t say you was bud your fantasy doesn’t matter to me but don’t use this post to try to manipulate an already ruined generation with your non sense that being said maybe the poor guy was embarrassed and was trying to do it silently and seem like everything is okay it’s what men do all the time not that you know anything about us as men your a non binary or whatever you call yourself I don’t care but like I said I don’t care about your ideology because it’s wrong it’s either man or woman get it
KinglyQueenOfCats: "quit trying to be tender to a woman who loves her man" pretty clearly implies designs on said woman (who, BTW, is likely to be in high school based on the wording and the braces so I would hesitate to call her a woman or her boyfriend a man).
It's perfectly all right for bf to have tried to deal with it silently by himself. However, that does not make it OP's responsibility to fix, which she is trying to do.
What makes you think I'm nonbinary? Or that I know nothing about men?
>I don’t care about your ideology because it’s wrong it’s either man or woman get it
What about toddlers? What about intersex folks (people born with ambiguous genitalia or with different internal genitalia than external, eg testes and a vulva)? Folks with penises and breasts? Given all the different body configurations, how can you delineate between men and women without asking how someone views themself?
truckingman2022: Soo all people with braces are 15? Is that what your getting at bud? Listen pal I ain’t here because you wanna live in a fantasy world where everybody can be anybody I have my belief and if you have a vagina your a woman if you have a penis no matter how small your a man get it
KinglyQueenOfCats: >Soo all people with braces are 15? Is that what your getting at bud?
Nope, that's why I said "based on the wording AND the braces" (emphasis added). I know folks who got braces in their late teens and had them through their early 20s, but most who get them any older than that go with the clear non-metal braces that others' lips don't get caught in. But yes, it is possible that OP is older than late teens, but relatively unlikely.
>I have my belief and if you have a vagina your a woman if you have a penis no matter how small your a man get it
Technically a penis is merely an enlarged clitoris. Did you know that's one way doctors determine boy or girl? If the clitoris is longer than some set amount (I believe it's an inch, but I could be misremembering), the doctor designates the baby as a boy; shorter and they set it a girl.
There have also been quite a few controversies in sports due to women with vulvas and vaginas having abnormally high amounts of testosterone and it turning out they have undescended testes inside.
truckingman2022: Who cares about medical stuff man I don’t care how educated you are good for you I don’t go showing mine because I like to be simple but to you I think it’s thrilling to show your stupidity because you revel around no wallow around in educational stuff learn that there is only two genders not 100 different genders but I’m done here because you just don’t get it one day god will sort you out and you will stand before him to be judged
KinglyQueenOfCats: It is up to God to judge and up to humanity to respect others. If telling someone their identity is wrong hurts them, God wouldn't want you to do that. God made them feel that their gender identity was different than their genitalia might appear, so we should respect that. If God thinks they went about it wrong, as you said - God will sort them out. And if God things disrespecting their identity is wrong, then those who do that will be judged as well.
truckingman2022: Omg dude stop right now I find your ignorance in a religious topic profound and absolutely disgusting don’t you ever say god accepts all people no matter their gender read the Bible a woman is below man and shall never talk to a man like your generation does and a man goes and works and provides here’s how it should be maybe go read a Bible you will figure out how to be a good housewife
1.GOD
2.MAN
3.CHILDREN
4.WOMEN
KinglyQueenOfCats: So you've gone from saying I'm nonbinary or a boy to saying I'm a housewife? How interesting. What gender do you think I am?
I've read the bible quite a few times as well as parts of the Torah and even researched bits of the quoran and other religious texts. If you're a Christian, Jesus said "let him who has not sinned cast the first stone" about an *adulterous woman*, an act that goes against the *ten commandments*. If Jesus could say that with regards to her, don't you think he would say similar things of live and let live about everyone who isn't hurting anyone or anything by their choices? In her case, she could be said to have even hurt her husband - yet Jesus said to let her be.
truckingman2022: I don’t really care your part of the issue with society causing young males to be over ran by females and that disgusting a man should be proud of his masculinity not ashamed of it because I don’t believe women deserve the right to talk to men the way they door think about it how many shitty women cheat on their man just because he’s too emotional or attached?
KinglyQueenOfCats: >disgusting a man should be proud of his masculinity not ashamed of it
Could you rephrase this? I don't understand what you're trying to say. I never said anyone should be ashamed of their masculinity, though frankly, it's just as ridiculous for someone to be proud of it. You might as well be proud of yourself for having blue eyes or brown hair.
>I don’t believe women deserve the right to talk to men the way they do
Anyone can talk to anyone else however they like. If they're rude, they probably shouldn't be. But someone speaking their mind or contradicting, regardless of their gender or the gender of the person they're talking to, has that right.
>how many shitty women cheat on their man just because he’s too emotional or attached?
Not many. The majority of straight women would be thrilled to have an emotionally cognizant partner. And I'd guess that both the percentage and number are much lower than those of straight men who abuse their partners for being too emotional.
At the end of the day, everyone has the right to present themselves how they want. There are bad women who will judge another for their presentation just like there are bad men who will judge another for their presentation. My goal is to educate folks to hopefully minimize those numbers - whether female, male, or whatever.
truckingman2022: Dude do you have a wife or husband if so how do they feel about you and do you have kids? If so what would they become if you taught them your uneducated ridiculous non sense you spout out
KinglyQueenOfCats: You were just telling me how educated I am. You'll come across better if you pick a script and stick to it or actually refute a single point.
They are and will be amazing humans who respect other humans while holding true to their self and their own beliefs. They won't think that someone is wrong just because they made different life choices than they're familiar with and will instead fight to better the world and individuals' lives in it.
truckingman2022: That’s not how life works bud we all seek guidance through the lord and live by his requests and if you are anything but pure then your an abomination that’s just a fact your beliefs have ruined your religion therefore you don’t deserve to talk about religion with your shit science talk now you wanna have an adult conversation then dm me and we will go further into this conversation if not quit commenting back because you will not and never will get a win
KinglyQueenOfCats: >we all seek guidance through the lord and live by his requests
You do realize there are quite a few atheists around right? While you try to live by his teachings, you ignore the most emphatic ones - respect others' ways of life lest your own be called into question.
>f you are anything but pure then your an abomination
Friend, this is pretty much the opposite of what Jesus taught. Make sure when you seek Jesus' guidance, it's actually *his* guidance that you find. He taught tolerance and forgiveness.
>your beliefs have ruined your religion therefore you don’t deserve to talk about religion with your shit science talk
If your beliefs cannot stand up to scrutiny, they're not very strong beliefs. Science strengthens my beliefs and shows me more of the wonders God created.
Finally, either God is all knowing and all powerful or God isn't. If God didn't want a certain identity to exist, it wouldn't exist. Embracing the person God made you is how you honor that creation, not by trying to stomp it into some mold that some preacher told you is the right one.
truckingman2022: Your really pissing me off with your insolence and ignorance to think you have the upper hand on me is arbitrary and ridiculous like I said you wanna talk then Private message me
KinglyQueenOfCats: Please give me an example where I displayed insolence and/or ignorance. As far as I can tell, I've remained courteous and factual
| 22 | 0.818182 | |
1658632052 | 1658690525 | t3_w6lk9s | t5_2to41 | 3,069 | Kemomiwiwane: TIFU by masturbating after my vasectomy.
There’s some backstory to this, so let’s start from the beginning.
This happened last summer. My wife and I bought a duplex early September of that year and did massive renovations. The biggest renovation we did was redoing the entire basement. It was a complete job because the basement was gutted. New bathroom, family room, bedroom and office.
That summer after the renovations were complete, I had some issues with my heart and the cardiologist I was seeing asked me to wear an EKG monitor for two weeks, press the button on it every time I had an episode, write down the time and what activity I was doing on a chart they provided.
I asked him if it mattered what I did while wearing the monitor. I work doing physical labour full time, have two small children to take care of, play in a softball league and had a vasectomy lined up.
He said the more you do, the better because they will be able to see how my heart responds to all of it. He also joked by saying that he’s sure he will get a very strong read during my vasectomy.
The day of the minor operation comes and all goes well, I guess. (That’s a whole different story) I was told by the nurse after the vasectomy that it’s best to not ejaculate for at least one week.
The next couple of days while icing the boys, I was reading about post vasectomy ejaculation. Read that the first time could be painful and there’s potential of blood in the semen. That kind of freaked me out and I made it into a much bigger thing than it had to be.
Exactly one week later at midnight I was alone in the basement while the family was asleep and decided to get it over with and masturbate to see what happens. Again, I made it into something that gave me anxiety when it probably should not have been a big deal.
As I’m getting to the “big finish”, I had the most awkward feeling. It felt like as the semen was coming up, it broke through a seal that was in the shaft and it was pretty uncomfortable. I finished in some Kleenex and walked to the bathroom to see what was inside (I was expecting to see a decent amount of blood with the sensation I felt). I couldn’t look right away because all of the lights were off.
I get to the bathroom, turn on the lights, open up the Kleenex and there’s nothing but cum. At that moment however, I get extremely light headed. I walk to the toilet to throw out the mess I made and as I bend over I pass out and smash my head into the wall.
When I come to, I’m sitting on my toilet and I hear what sounds like water running out of my faucet but my bare feet are completely wet. I look on the ground and notice that water is pouring out of the toilet because as I passed out and smashed my head, I happened to crack the tank with all of the weight of my back as I fell ass first on to my toilet seat.
I slowly get up in a daze, confused how to proceed, as I hear my wife coming down the stairs asking what the hell that noise was.
After explaining to her the best I could what had happened she just said “Jesus Christ, go lie down on the couch and let me clean up the mess.”
As she’s cleaning she tells me “don’t forget to press the button on your monitor, I’m sure your heart did something weird during all of that.”
So I did, got the chart, marked down the time and wrote “fainted after masturbating.”
Plumber had to come and completely replace a brand new toilet with another brand new toilet which cost us $800.
TLDR Got a vasectomy, masturbated for the first time a week later, proceeded to faint and break my brand new toilet while doing so.
EDIT: Some of you find it crazy that I spent $800 to replace our toilet. That was for the toilet and installation. My wife took my embarrassing moment as an opportunity to buy a higher end replacement.
It was definitely the most expensive masturbation I’ve ever had.
ckhk3: Whyd you faint after masturbating though?
jaejin0417: Few guesses:
1) I'm going to guess orthostatic syncope based on the limited information provided. It was most likely him getting up after masturbating that caused him to have a syncopal episode. Orthostatic Hypotension is a pretty common cause of syncope, especially as you age.
2) Put himself into an arrhythmia - He didn't divulge his cardiac history, but he has a CAM monitor which is typically given to patients with a possible rhythm issue (Afib, SVT, etc). So him ejaculating could have put him into an arrhythmia which dropped his BP, causing him to have a syncopal episode
​
All just ~~stipulations~~ speculations
theresfireinhereyes: SVT here. Can confirm. Orgasms are a surefire way to trigger an episode. So fun.
Kemomiwiwane: I haven’t been diagnosed with SVT specifically but when I get an attack it’s almost always during the middle of the night while sleeping. It wakes me up, I deal with it and go back to sleep an hour later and feel like shit in the morning. It’s been fun.
That was the first and only time I had an issue while having an orgasm.
theresfireinhereyes: Does your heart race outta your chest then it just stops? If so I can share a couple fantastic vega maneuvers with you I rely on.
Sleeping episodes are the worst. They're also, in my experience, the most painful and last the longest/hardest to get rid of. I've had SVT since I was 2 and I'm 33 now so I've done all the things, learned all the things, tried all the things.
I hope you get a formal diagnosis! Honestly if it's SVT, that would be better than many conditions. You can't die from it (unless you have one specific type) it's just fuckin annoyingggg.
ETA: you can't die but definitely stay away from toilets. I call it "fight the faint" for a reason!
Kemomiwiwane: Yeah, heart races out of my chest, get very anxious. Feels like I’m going to die from a heart attack.
Now that I’ve seen some doctors and know that it’s not fatal, I’ve had a better time managing it.
One doctor told me about the valsalva maneuver, works like a charm. Just hard sometimes to do it at 3am while groggy from just waking and battling the attack.
theresfireinhereyes: I'm sorry you're in our club. You really do feel like you're gonna die. How it isn't fatal is insane to me, I'm grateful of course. I finally saw an episode while hooked up to a heart monitor at the hospital few years back, 300+ bpm. How is that even possible?? Mind boggling.
What maneuvers did your Dr teach you? I know one done two ways that stop mine in about 30 seconds or less. I will swear on the medicine syringe till the day I die!
Kemomiwiwane: The valsava maneuver. You basically press down on your stomach like your trying to pass a stool while constipated. It works every time and puts your heart rhythm back to normal after a couple of minutes.
theresfireinhereyes: Ok yeah that one's tried and true. Next time try this:
Take a medicine syringe and put the tip in between your lips and try to blow the plunger out, you can't but the pressure of trying to do so works like a charm.
If you don't have a syringe, use your thumb. Thumb in mouth like you're sucking your thumb, create a good seal and blow, works just like syringe. Thumb's what I do when I'm doing something like driving and don't have my syringe on me.
A random ER Dr showed this technique to me and it was a game changer! I've tried SO many techniques and this one is by far the best. I wish I could find that dr and thank him.
Kemomiwiwane: Thanks for the tip, I’ll definitely try it out. How long do you have to blow for? I don’t want to pass out again!
And I forgot to say 300 bpms!? I never got that high!
theresfireinhereyes: The main goal is to blow long/hard enough for it to stop. Blow in 5 second increments if necessary till you get comfy with the process. I blow anywhere from 5-15 seconds.
Sidenote, definitely practice while in a safe place jic. No toilets! Lol that way you can go down safely if needed.
| 12 | 255.75 | |
1658632494 | 1658636552 | t3_w6lpdw | t5_2to41 | 27 | missiika_: TIFU by falling for a scam
Here’s where my fuck up started with a little back sorry first,
I’m a new business owner, I set my business up on google a few days ago.
I had a person call me and say there were from “google.” They told me I needed to verify my business within 24 hours or I would lose my business profile on google. What made it seem somewhat legit was they asked, if I received the post card with the code to do it, Which I did, but it was at home and I couldn’t get the code. (Spoiler: when I got home there was no code) Then they said they were able to do it on there and and set it up.
Finally, They said I needed to pay a fee to keep my business profile active. When they ask for my card , and I even said this is a spam, the guy was able to send me his information through google which made it seem legit so I gave him my card info. Like an idiot. Once I saw the invoice all I saw was red flags and googled the receipt name where everything I was worried about was verified. It was a scam. I’m so embarrassed and pissed. The worse part to me is it was taken from my bank account in USD and I use CAD.
Receipt read:
G-HYPER Local
Hi, *op name*
Your payment has been made successfully. Attached is a PDF copy of your invoice receipt.
Billing period: 2022-07-21 to 2022-08-21
Total amount paid is: USD 99.00
The above charge will appear as GHYPERLOCAL on your credit card statement.
Toll Free Number +18009866470
Need help?
If you have any questions,
Please contact us no-reply@ghyperlocal.com or call us on 18009866470 at anytime.
PH: 18009866470, Google Receipt, 6738 Darylane Drive , Dublin,
Ohio 43017, UNITED STATES
This happened earlier this week. I feel so angry at myself for not trusting my gut.
TL;DR rep from “google” called me convinced me I had to pay for my business profile on google. I gave them my card information willingly.
SalleighG: Can you dispute the charge?
missiika_: I think so but I called the customer service line for my bank and they said if have to go into the actual bank to file/dispute the charge
Rare_Cauliflower1850: DM me your banking info and I’ll take care of working with your bank to correct the fraud /s
That sucks
missiika_: Ahaha! Yeah no. There was a lesson and I’ve learned it.
Edit: it really does suck though hopefully it goes smoothly when I get to the bank
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1658638219 | 1658642020 | t3_w6nfyh | t5_2to41 | 8 | Mau2314: TIFU by sending a voice message to my best friend.
For context well call best friend “F” and friend with the hots for her “B”, so it all started yesterday when I was chilling home and received a text from a friend in common with F, saying that if I wanted to go the club later that day, to which I replied yes, not knowing who was going.
So time to go to the club arrives and I head there and everyone arrives (F wasn’t going) and its all good at this point, so we start drinking and chatting, and I start to talk to B and as I said I know he has the hots for her, and as the talk goes on B tells me F and him haven’t talked in 2 months and not knowing what will happen because of this ask why did they get in a fight.
B procedes to tell me how one night after a party B, F and a random dude go back to B’s house and kept on drinking and later when they were tired and about to sleep, B says that F can use his room and B and random dude will sleep on the couch, and as they were sleeping, F sends a text to random dude to go to the room (we all know what they were going to do) and B says it’s ok, now this is where shit hits the fan, as B realized what was about to happen he got jealous and bursted into the room and demanded they stop it, (don’t know in what part of the process did B burst in) to which F gets really mad and procedes to leave B’s house.
Now I thought nothing of this and told B he had fucked up, and we just kept on talking and drinking normally, so the night finishes and we all head head home normally, and as I arrived home still very drunk btw, I started recording a voice message for F saying how the night was an all, and in the message I mention laughing at B and his glorious actions what he had told me, plus all that happened throughout the night, finished the message went to sleep and woke up to a bunch of messages from F telling me that I was a jerk and an idiot for laughing at her and that I betrayed her and she hadn’t told me this before because she knew I would laugh at her, when in reality I laughed at B, and told me to fuck my self and that she wants nothing to do with me now, as I read this I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t laughing at her but instead at B, and she still won’t talk to me.
TL;DR: I sent a voice message to my best friend laughing and now she won’t talk to me
dunstyy: you didn't really fuck up imo, i think she overreacted
Mau2314: Yeah most likely, but fuck me right? Jajajaja
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1658641262 | 1658659642 | t3_w6oafw | t5_2to41 | 498 | rileysopalgem: TIFU by never getting rid of a letter from my ex and admitting I thought about leaving my wife
[removed]
Livid_Violinist_1876: You're ex GF wrote the letter while you were engaged to your now current wife. Despite the letter, you proceeded to marry & have kids - and, I assume have been faithful since. While the letter was "saved", or simply (mis)placed in your mostly unused garment pocket, if anything it served as a reminder of the on/off drama you experienced in that past relationship - as well as a reminder of the RIGHT choice you made on that day in marrying your wife & each life event thereafter. Stand in this. Give your wife space to process - imagine if the table was turned, you too might requestion - stand in your commitment to your vows, wife + family during this time. Your wife will come back - offer to have a "burning ceremony" of the letter and be tender in loving reassurance each day thereafter. It will all work out.
LifeIsVanilla: IDK, if my partner said they didn't even consider running off before our wedding I'd be kinda thrown off. While I'm not religious so mostly just see marriage as a tax and estate thing it's still meant to be for the rest of our lives, it's not something to just dive in without tons of thought and consideration. But I'm both a guy and, far more importantly, not pregnant(probably), and of all insecurities I hold jealousy has never been one of them.
orchidlake: Depends, I'd say.... OP seems to have married his wife pretty quickly, but in my case, I'd probably be thrown off if my husband would have been uncertain given that by the time we married we had been together for around 5 years, engaged for 3, and in the process of finally ending our long distance relationship to turn it into a real life one (marrying enabled me to be with him through visa but it's also something I had been wanting). With how much time had gone by and how much work and money was put into it I'd probably be shattered if he somehow was able to hold doubts because I had absolutely zero (and for me it was a life-changing move).
I'm not religious either and in my case marriage served to help me get a green card to be with the love of my life but GC or not I would have married this man happily (and sooner if I could have, lol). For me it's more of a "level up" of the relationship (dating > engaged > married) and having that "specific ring-wearing status" is fun to me. Also at least to some extent keeps assholes off my back. While I've had a guy ENTIRELY disregard me being engaged and suggested that I should fuck him and my fiance "doesn't have to know" I've (thankfully) yet to meet someone that tells me to cheat on my HUSBAND lol.
LifeIsVanilla: Thats a more unconventional situation though. You already had such a repertoire that the moment to second guess things had long passed, it was probably right before you first met, if he travelled to you it was probably right before he got on the plane, if you travelled to him probably at the airport. It's the moment where you know the next step you make isn't just a step, it's when you know you're all in, no matter what. That one would come from their own actions though, in this case it came due to a ghost of his past popping up at such a time. What's similar is that while the other option presented may have been considered, it was already not really an option, but ya still gotta really doublecheck and face yourself and choice with honesty.
If I was presented with such a situation, I would purposely consider it. Because if I didn't I wouldn't be making the step forward with the confidence it deserves, that they deserve. If I 3 kids into our relationship found out my wife considered running off with her ex that she hadn't had any communication with at all aside from received a letter from the most it would garner from me is an inappropriate joke. It's in the past, and was before kids, so it's not like there was a weird "abandon our family" thing. I might care more if they actually had regular communication on top of it, but only in a concern of affair, cause it'd be real not okay to continue communication after that... but that wasn't the case.
orchidlake: Yeah I meant more that second-guessing RIGHT BEFORE THE WEDDING on its own isn't a requirement imo but if the general point is for the partner to have re-considered things at **any** point beforehand I see no issue with that either. I can't say I personally remember having real doubts with my husband, we had known each other for several years by the time we started dating, the only questionmark we had left is if we work out iRL as well as online so while there were no real doubts or second-guesses there was a whole "well, let's see if our chemistry is the same face-to-face" so we were realistic about it but not paranoid or particularly doubtful I'd argue (then again, it's been well over a decade, so memory's quite blurry, and I wouldn't remember doubts if I ever had any! But I do remember being heads over heels for this man and that hasn't changed)
In OP's case they had been together a year before getting engaged and married and I'd say even after two or so it's perfectly valid to second-guess a massive step such as marriage. Doesn't even need an outside prompt. It's rather nice that he went forward with it and didn't look back (seemingly) and he got his second-guessing out of the way so quickly, tbh.
I do think OP's wife is overreacting myself but I can also understand acting in extreme emotion (esp. considering the stress around having yet another child and the shock of things) but I wouldn't say it's a FU from OP to have had a lil dusty piece of paper from his very rich past (that existed in his life before his wife did) in a pocket. Pre-marriage and pre-kids and ESPECIALLY thoughts and feelings from years ago that weren't even acted on should not be a problem
Teadrunkest: The fuck up isn’t really the letter it’s why he admitted after finding the letter.
orchidlake: I don't see honesty as FU
Teadrunkest: You don’t tell your pregnant wife that you considered leaving her for your toxic ex before the wedding.
Not every honest thought is necessary to speak out loud.
orchidlake: So what's the option? Lie and live with the lie forever? Or lie now and then admit to the truth when she's not pregnant?
OP didn't come out with it out of spite or hurt her for his amusement. Wife found it. Wife presumably read it. Wife then asked **several questions**.
Why ask questions that you either can't handle the possible answers to --or questions you want to be lied to about? Should OP really be blamed for answering a question TRUTHFULLY? How is **that** healthy?
Is our standard seriously "Lie to your (pregnant or not) partner even if they ask you"?
Teadrunkest: Yes. Because this lie means literally nothing, but the truth isn’t exactly super helpful for your **pregnant hormonal wife** to hear after she just found a letter from an ex **asking you to get back with her right before your wedding.**
| 11 | 45.272727 | |
1658643788 | 1658644648 | t3_w6oy7m | t5_2to41 | 16 | eaglekineagle: TIFU by reminding my MIL that she thinks I have sex with animals right after her cat's funeral.
My Mother In Law had a cat for almost 20 years. A wonderful, sweet cat. I'm gonna start with the primary fuck up, then go into detail on the secondary fuck up.
So sometime last week, MIL's cat (Sweetie) was really sick. She (the cat) had passed away in my MIL's arms while her and FIL were trying to get to the vet. She was devastated, understandably, and we all decided to give the cat a proper burial and memorial.
We all buried her in the garden together, said our goodbyes, and went inside for lunch and tea. MIL was telling us stories about the cat. She found her as an abandoned kitten in 2004, she was under their deck and MIL would feed her, made her cardboard box shelters, and eventually brought her into their home, and into their family, and named her Sweetie.
I didn't have a lot to contribute to the stories and memories, but I did have one memory:
Around the first time I met my fiancee's parents, about 2016 or so, they invited me over for dinner. I got the borderline interview from the FIL, talked about my family and heritage with my MIL, we were all getting along pretty well, a great start, I thought.
Sweetie, the cat, came up to me when fiancee and MIL were preparing dinner (my fiancee wanted to impress me with a really great salmon dinner with the caveat that she would assist) and Sweetie hopped right up in my lap.
Sweetie really, really liked having her back scratched. I was scratching her back, up and down her spine and she was going apeshit. She was doing mouth clicks, trilling, purring like crazy. The harder I scratched, the more she liked it. This was right when my MIL walked in to see if I needed anything.
"What the hell are you doing to my cat!?!" I looked up, shocked and confused, and just muttered "I think she likes it."
Bad choice of words. You see, in my intense scratching of sweetie's back, and her position on me, my MIL thought the worst. Sweetie was rocking forward and back, with my hands looking like they were moving her, and to the less innocent mind, it looked like I was fucking this cat's brains out.
Fast forward back to last week, I thought it was a good idea to brighten the mood by bringing this up. I imagined that we would all giggle, talk about how silly Sweetie was, bond over a funny memory.
"Hey MIL, do you remember when you thought I was having sex with Sweetie?"
Nope, instead it was the equivalent of pulling the finger out of the dam of rage and emotion. MIL started wailing, she called me an asshole and stormed out of the room sobbing, FIL's jaw dropped and fiancee looked at me with a death glare of horror and confusion that I'll never forget.
I realized the issue later. I had never actually clarified with MIL that I wasn't boning her cat, all I had ever said was "I think she likes it" and my MIL kept that to herself, thinking I was some major housepet pervert, a cat fucking, beastiality crazed lunatic. I haven't had a chance to explain it yet, they aren't taking my calls.
TL;DR: Mother In Law's cat passed away, I brought up the time she thought I was having sex with her cat, but never told her I wasn't, brought it up after burying said cat, now she's pissed and fiancee's parents now probably think I fuck animals.
mayormcskeeze: Dude. It's cool. You don't have to pretend.
eaglekineagle: Lol apparently "cat lover" has a new meaning
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1658644371 | 1658645510 | t3_w6p3kc | t5_2to41 | 24 | Common_Tumbleweed_71: tifu one night stand
Today I fucked up by going to a one night stand. Went to his place mmm maybe 2 hours ago, I'm home now. It started great, we cuddled and watched anime. Then we begun to proceed, to started by going down on me, then put on a condom and there we went. 10 minutes later soft. He keep going despite his buddies lack of interest. He got soft 3 or 4 more times. Fingering or going down on me in those moments. By the second soft I was kinda over but figured I'd keep going. Well it ended really abruptly as he was fingering me and said "okay. My friends are coming over and will be here soon". I was not upset to leave. He walked me to my car and as I was driving away realized I had some discomfort going on down there. Got home and undressed only to find blood in my panties...
TL;DR I fucked up by having a one night stand with a guy that caused me to bleed
EDIT: just adding for anyone who may be confused it was not my period, I have been on birthcontrol for over a year now and my period has been consist since getting on it. I'm not due for another month
illwill13: I'm guessing there will not be a second night.
Common_Tumbleweed_71: Definitely not
| 3 | 8 | |
1658645110 | 1658697271 | t3_w6pa8k | t5_2to41 | 147 | jennysoftpaws: TIFU by not wearing a mask to work today.
I'm at a cashier at a local and popular grocery store. Our company doesn't require masks anymore and I started relaxing and not wearing a mask to work. Well today a customer happens to come in my Lane and tells me he has covid. I did not wear a mask to work today. He was wearing a paper mask but it doesn't do much to relieve my worry that I may have caught covid today. I have a 76 year old roommate that I have to worry about. I didn't remember that I checked someone out with covert until 2:00 a.m. I wrote a note to my roommate to start wearing a mask here and at home and I'm going to wear a mask and use a home test kit after I Google how soon I need to be tested after I think I got exposed to it. So now I'm worried and I'm going to sanitize all surfaces in the morning. I also told my roommate in the note to sanitize his hands a lot. I have right to worry because I don't want anything to happen to him. I just want to cry out of anger and frustration that someone didn't isolate themselves and put people at risk by going to a public place like a grocery store while he has COVID-19.
Tldr; chose to not wear a mask today because it's been a while since the policy eased up about wearing masks at work. Checked out a customer with covid. Now paranoid and want to cry.
___Phreak___: You wearing a mask wouldn't have protected you from somebody else, they only protect other people from you.
jennysoftpaws: Well. Sure. But this doesn't give me peace of mind right now. Thank you for trying to make me feel a little better if that was your goal. I'm less scared for me because I'm young and healthy but my roommate is 76 and is very vulnerable. I'm just a little afraid right now.
Tanagrabelle: Also, the whiny anti-maskers are full of it. Wearing a mask does protect you AND it prevents the other person. Yeah, that person's was probably not overly useful, but don't let the babies' tantrums get to you.
macaronithecat: Protection to yourself from wearing a medical or cloth mask is minimal. Its main purpose is to protect others by limiting your transmission. I'm all for masks, but let's not get carried away here. Op's overall risk of contracting covid based on the story is minimal anyway.
Far_Resort5502: Factual statement gets down-voted. Jfc people are stupid.
| 6 | 24.5 | |
1658645350 | 1658660064 | t3_w6pcge | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting high and having anal sex with my wife
[removed]
shinzul: I've gotten bacterial infections a few times (epididymitis) from exactly the same... activity... with my wife.
I've gotten it down to a system where I use lots of lube (obviously) and immediately after go wash up in a quick shower. Make sure to get all up in there and clean underneath whatever skin you have. Then make sure you have a good pee as well to flush out the pipes too - bacteria gets in that you gotta get out or you'll have a bad day.
Worst part for me is all the judgy looks I get from doctors and nurses as if I have an STI - they always insist I get tested, it always comes back negative because my wife and I are ~~celibate~~ monogamous and neither of us have STIs. I'm like, doc, we just like to go in the back raw from time to time, leave me alone.
edit: haha woops
fortyeightD: I don't think celibate is the right word
shinzul: haha you're absolutely right... posting before I've had my coffee 🙂
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1658647888 | 1658659326 | t3_w6pziv | t5_2to41 | 69 | throwawaypaint06: TIFU by putting paint on my vagina
This is a throwaway because I am absolutely mortified and embarrassed.
I (24F) am having a late night of relaxing, and like any other single woman I sometimes get in the mood for... You know. So, I went to my desk where I usually do the deed, and all my lights were out except for my phone. I opened my desk drawer and grabbed what I thought was my lube bottle without looking and poured the bottle out into my hand. I applied it on my vagina and I felt some burning. This normally doesn't happen so I was pretty confused. I turned on my lamp and looked at my vagina and saw it was yellow. I looked at the bottle I was holding and it was actually yellow paint. Turns out I put my paint tube after painting a week ago in my top drawer instead of my bottom drawer for some reason. It's safe to say I freaked out and went running to the bathroom. For 20 minutes I was cleaning out my vagina. Luckily I only applied it to the outside of my vagina and not inside, but I'm still pretty scared. After I got all of the paint off I could I wiped it and have now been searching stuff like 'acrylic paint in vagina' online to try and figure out if I'm good or not and what to do. I feel like such a idiot. What the hell do I do??
TL;DR : I'm a big idiot who accidentally used yellow paint as lube, queue a long shower and lots of panic
PutridButtPiss: urine is sterile and I like the taste
Marcel___: wtf, how is this relevant?
orchidlake: imma take a wild guess... but it's **yellow**..... so u/PutridButtPiss might be conditioned to that visual stimulus.
| 4 | 17.25 | |
1658649070 | 1658651927 | t3_w6q9mp | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU I had a wet dream on my gf's bed while house-sitting
[deleted]
koozy407: 5 hours isn’t enough time to wash sheets? Bro, I could hit the laundry mat across state lines and be back in 5 hours. Your story sounds totally made up for karma. Do better
golfingclubb: Enough to wash them, not to get them dry it's not the best weather in Norway to just hang sheets and let them dry
koozy407: So you washed them for her after you slept in them and now they are drying. That’s what you are suppose to do when you sleep in someone’s bed. I don’t know why this is even a thing
golfingclubb: I mean I sleep in her bed almost every night with her, just it's bad that the weekend she leaves this happens
koozy407: It’s the polite thing to do when you house sit, stay the night, want to surprise a loved one etc. My point is, you should be washing the sheets regardless so she comes home to a clean house.
| 6 | 1.166667 | |
1658649921 | 1658652317 | t3_w6qh8o | t5_2to41 | 9 | Zestyclose-Court-265: TIFU by going to a party
I went to a party today, intending to get drunk and hookup with someone. What happened next was a rollercoaster of a ride. Essentially, I went in early and shotted 5 drinks of vodka immediately, automatically becoming tipsy and on the way to become wasted as hell. It got even worse with the fact that after a while vapes and cigarettes were introduced, and it was apparent that I was wasted as hell. Eventually, I ended up not even being able to walk and was staggering all over the place, getting so bad that my friends had to restrain me onto a couch and make sure that I don't trip over the stairs.
So my friends thought it'd be a good idea to call my parents, who didn't know I was drunk to come and get me from the party, so they did, and my parents were on the way quickly and I had an extremely short amount of time to sober up, worst part is that I almost smoked a cigarette but my friend knocked it out of my hand. Once I got into my parent's car, it was normal for a while but eventually my mom got sus and asked me to breathe into her mouth. I did, and she automatically knew that I had drank, and now she hates me and is extremely angry at me. Worst part is, because I got so wasted any chance at a hookup was fucking gone.
​
TL;DR - Went to a party and got drunk, got caught by parents and wasn't able to hook-up either
Lord_Cockwood: Your mom's kinky, I like it
Zachariahtucci: "Breathe in my mouth, son. Your father doesn't like when I'm off that vodka"
| 3 | 3 | |
1658653358 | 1658691293 | t3_w6rbez | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by downloading Tinder while in a relationship
[deleted]
InstallWizard: Sounds to me she was looking for a way out and found it.
420goattaog: Tf? He cheated dude. He was looking for a way out. Not her.
InstallWizard: Masturbating is cheating?
420goattaog: While talking to another person besides your partner? Yes. It is.
Srudge: Accorsing to the post he didnt talk to them, he just looked for a profile pic and jerked off to it
Which is fucking creepy and disgusting, but i wouldnt call it cheating
But yeah this douche deserves everything hes gonna get lol
420goattaog: Well I guess it isn't that clear because the way it sounded in my mind was that they did talk for a few minutes. Either way, downloading tinder itself is a scummy thing to do in a relationship, whether he went through with anything or not. He definitely does deserve what's coming.
OMGimAnoobLOLOL: It seems your cognitive bias towards disliking Tinder has jaded your perception here. It's almost like we read a different post and it certainly seems enough to distract you from her motivations.
Nothing here even hints he interacted with the other person, just found a picture to j-off too.
His wife wanted out of the relationship and took this opportunity to run for the hills. Using his previous porn habits to leave the relationship is too blatant. She probably has a dude set up to blow her back out already.
DodgyBogan: That last comment hurts a little and makes me cry. But it could be true.
dualtine86: You’re a creep, going on tinder to look at women’s pictures to wank to. Why not use porn, people who actually want their bodies to be used for this purposes.
Jigalojoe: he is not a creep. he is a human being. where do uou get off calling a man that who is here asking for help. you have no right to kick this man when he is down. you ate not a nice person but s i see it you are not perfect either are you. respectfully and sincerely.
dualtine86: He is not asking for help, he asking people to justify his actions. That is very creepy behaviour and if you can’t see that, you should reflect on yourself.
| 12 | 1.333333 | |
1658655123 | 1658663159 | t3_w6rqpz | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my gf her dildo was broken
[removed]
420goattaog: I dunno man. Sex where me and my boyfriend laugh about the stupidest things is the best.
Silvyrn: Once popped on a album by Canadian comedy folk singers. By the time for play ended, and we started doing the deed, the song started, the pill, its about birth controll, she lauft her ass off
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1658653547 | 1658666187 | t3_w6rcyx | t5_2to41 | 104 | dm_ur_clit: TIFU by jerking off too soon after circumcision
Brand new account since many people know my main account. The TIFU really did happen today - a couple of hours ago to be exact. I had to get a circumcision two weeks ago for phimosis. The surgeon had strictly advised against sexual activity for 4 to 6 weeks after the surgery. Consequently, the last time I jerked off was a day before my surgery. This is the longest period of abstinence ever since I started masturbating in high school 3 decades ago. 2+ weeks of non-ejaculation clouded my judgement. I was horny and just had to rub one out. Although worried, I felt it would be okay and so though it hurt a little I started masturbating. What with the pain and altered sensations and edematous tissue, I was simply unable to come. I should have accepted that and stopped there but my orgasm deprived brain would not allow that and so I kept at it for some 1.5 hours. I finally gave up without climaxing and stopped to examine the damage. To my horror I discovered that I had ripped most of my stitches off. Although most of the wound has healed, there are now 1 to 2 mm deep gaps in the tissue where the stitches were and they look red and angry. To add insult to injury, I used an old moisturizer lying around as lube and must have massaged quite a bit into the wound. I am now worried about infection and wound healing especially since I am diabetic. My entire groin is sore as well and I am finding it difficult to walk. I really hope everything fixes itself.
TL;DR: Horny me jerked off too soon after circumcision and ripped the stitches off my wound.
DragonClash101: I'm gonna be honest with you here. Unless you are fully healed from the surgery (which I doubt so), you're most likely gonna have to redo the stitches or risk ending up with an ugly looking dick.
dm_ur_clit: I am desperately hoping it won't come to that. I washed with soap and put on an antiseptic ointment that was given to me immediately after surgery.
DragonClash101: Tl;dr: The best you could do now is to not mess with it any further. I'm not sure how things work in your country, but you should head down to the hospital where you did your surgery (hopefully your surgeon is on shift) and get it checked as soon as possible.
I just want you to know that you're not alone. I was once in your exact same situation, except for the jerking off part. Instead of that, I just kept having lewd thoughts, and getting hard was enough to undo the stitches for me. Back then I thought that maybe the stitches only came off because the wound was more or less recovered, so I didn't think much of it. Big mistake. Halfway through the night, the wound reopened and I began bleeding out of my dick. I panicked like crazy and went straight to the A&E (emergency department) of a nearby hospital. Ended up getting new stitches on my dick while fully conscious (no anaesthesia at all). Most traumatic experience in my life so far, my parents even said that they could hear my screams from outside the operating theater. But my case ended so horribly because I ignored it when the stitches came off, and I left it alone for a few days without getting an expert's opinion.
I don't usually like sharing my embarrassing private story online, but I want you to know that you shouldn't beat yourself up over this mistake, as well as what you should do moving forward. Now that I have experienced it myself, I hope that I can potentially help you avoid such a disaster. Go get it checked. If your doctor says that it's fine, great. If your doctor thinks that you have to get new stitches, arrange for it (WITH ANAESTHESIA) as soon as possible. Don't just wait on it, it's not worth the risk.
dm_ur_clit: I did speak to my surgeons office and they have asked me to come in tomorrow if there isn't too much bleeding (there is none so far). In any case I'll go tomorrow and get it checked out. I am terrified of getting stitches as it is let alone without any anaesthesia but I know it's a price I have to pay for my stupidity. Thank you sincerely for sharing your story to reassure a stranger although it is embarrassing to you. I shall follow your advice and that of the other well wishers in this thread.
DragonClash101: That's great news! It's unlikely that your doctor will make you do the stitches without anaesthesia if it's not an emergency. All the best to you man, fingers crossed that it's nothing too serious. I'm sure that this incident has completely erased any dirty thoughts you might have for a long while 😅
| 6 | 17.333333 | |
1658657326 | 1658658514 | t3_w6s9k1 | t5_2to41 | -2 | The_UndisputedElite: TIFU by thinking I won't catch covid because I have heightened immunity
Now, I'm not an anti vaxxer or anything. I do pretty much every thing they have told us to do like masks and hand washing. I've been around 20 different people with covid at work and even when one of them coughed in my face whilst drinking coffee - I somehow didn't get ill.
I'm also a super taster, so I have a much more sensitive taste buds than the average person. And I read a study a few weeks ago saying how for some reason super tasters have a higher immunity to covid too. It all seemed to make sense to me.
I came home from work yesterday and didn't wash my hands. When I realised I thought "oh fuck it, not like I'm going to catch covid"...I can't believe I actually thought that. Today my entire body is aching and coughing like I'm a smoker. Took a test and finally positive. Dude at work has been coughing for 2 weeks badly, he's taken 2 tests per day like company policy says to. But he still hasn't been to a doctor. Going to try and make my manager send him for an appointment before letting him back to work.
TL;Dr got cocky thinking I'm so much more immune I won't catch covid, and didn't wash my hands one time. And now I've ended up getting covid 2 days after telling co-workers I haven't had an illness this entire decade. One guy said I jinxed it and now I'm going to get covid, well for once he was actually right lmfao.
raven080068: Bahaha good one trumper
The_UndisputedElite: Yes, a left-wing British man is definitely a Trump supporter...
Laudanumium: It's the internet man, you can be everything you want to be !
The_UndisputedElite: Yeah, he's obviously choosing to be a clown.
oldfatboy: Got to say I would be really pissed at the twat that coughed in my face and pissed at the prick who hasn't been to a doctor having coughed fortwo weeks.
The_UndisputedElite: Oh I am. I have holiday booked for next week and I always have to take a loss of earnings to do so because of how little hours are in my contract.
I genuinely thought to myself earlier if I had the money spare to take him to a small claims I would. He's an all-around moron who causes many problems on a daily basis. He's close to being forced out of the company and given most people have been booked in for holiday this month we're short staffed as it is. Someone else had to cancel his holiday because he caught covid 2 weeks ago. I'm just glad I've not paid to go anywhere on holiday, just a week off to spend with my family.
| 7 | -0.285714 | |
1658659168 | 1658752301 | t3_w6spms | t5_2to41 | 86 | Bwyanfwanigan: TIFU by picking up a motor
Tifu by picking up a motor I bought for a boat. Disclaimer, this was yesterday, but is ongoing.
I think I might have screwed myself in multiple ways this time. So, a few years ago I bought an old boat with three motors. I blew up one, another is missing a lot of parts, and the third is so old I can't get replacement parts. So a buddy had a 3 71 Detroit diesel running out of a crane for sale. I bought it. Yesterday I borrowed a trailer and picked it up.
Problems so far
1. It's way big for the boat. 118 hp vs 37 hp.
2. It doesn't have the right bell housing or transmission.
3. It's old. I mean like from the forties kind of old, I might not be able to get parts.
4. I'm not sure I can get it off the trailer.
At my boatyard there is a pit with a cross car that moves sideways so we can roll boats down different sets of railroad tracks to store them. I need to back this trailer onto this crosscar to get under my hoist. It appears that the tires of the trailer are too far apart to get across the crosscar, or they might be right on the edge. I was too tired yesterday so I just gave up. I'm going there this morning to try and unload the thing, wish me luck.
If I drop the trailer into the pit we can all look forward to another tifu
TL;DR I brought a motor I bought to my shop and might not be able to unload it.
racingkain1: Need more details on boat. Cause a 3,71 detroit is WAY wrong for almost any boat unless youre doing something custom.
Bwyanfwanigan: It's a 26 foot navy motor whaleboat from 1968 and I'm going to use it to wheel wash my railway, and maybe fish a couple times a year
racingkain1: 4-107 - roughly 545lb
3-71 - roughly 1,525lb
Bwyanfwanigan: Didn't Tim the tool man Taylor always say go bigger ruh ruh ruh?
racingkain1: Well sure... and bigger is almost always better. Unless it sinks your boat....🤣
suitably_unsafe: "I don't think you should do that Tim"
| 7 | 12.285714 | |
1658660715 | 1658677959 | t3_w6t3xh | t5_2to41 | 0 | ihadtogototheER82: TIFU by making a huge play doh buttplug
So yeah i was cleaning my house when i found an old piece of play doh and i thiught to myself, why not make a buttplug with it?
So i made a giant buttplug and my stupid ass didnt think that i had to dry it before using it, so i put it in my ass and took it out, boom half of it was gone. I tried shitting it out and i couldnt, and thats when i decided to make a doctors appointment, oh god was it hard explaining that i got half a play doh buttplug stuck inside my anus, and he told me to go to the ER. My parents were called and i was super embarrased. You should have seen my moms face when she found out. After a long night in the hospital they finally got it out. My parents had to drive me home and it was awkward af
Tl;dr made a play doh buttplug and forgot to dry it, had to spend the night in the ER
ihadtogototheER82: Also i tried this before but with lego, same thing happened
D34TH_5MURF__: I feel like we should compile a list for you of things not suitable for use as butt plugs.
WarlordSDC: A whole pineapple
tombo4321: It's fine as long as you don't use the rough end.
Continuing the theme, his mum's head.
KP0900: that shampoo bottle
Narrow-Big7087: According to Adam Sandler it’s best at a medium pace.
| 7 | 0 | |
1658663557 | 1658664373 | t3_w6tvr9 | t5_2to41 | 15 | junebug_8317: TIFU by responding to a random girl in target when she yelled “Marco”
Obligatory this happened 2 days ago but it keeps popping into my head making me feel like an ass.
So I was out on a shopping trip at target picking up some household items, I had my 5 year old in tow and were making our way to the school section (since I broke my daughters backpack on her 2nd day of school). I hear a girl call out “MARCO” from a few aisles over and I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t so I yelled out “POLO”. I yell again “I’m sorry I couldn’t help it I’m not who you’re looking for”. The older lady in front of me walking in my direction is laughing pretty loudly as she notices I am not involved with this game directly. We move on, making our way to the school section and after 15 minutes of my 5 year old trying to figure out what freaking backpack she wanted since of course now that school has started they no longer have her sonic backpack she had, we head to the other side of the store for other things. As I’m walking I see one girl with her leg in some kind of brace/cast in one of the motorized shopping carts, another girl in crutches and the third with nothing visibly wrong . As it turns out the girl in the motorized cart was left behind and the other 2 wandered off, either on purpose or accident I’ll never know. I’m not sure who was calling for who but the girl left behind was having a fit over the fact she’s embarrassed about the Marco Polo incident. I’m assuming the other two left on purpose and decided to mess with the one in the motorized shopping cart with a fun game of Marco Polo since she would never reasonable catch up to the other two. I kept walking so I didn’t hear much of what happened but she was definitely not a happy camper and rethinking her friendship with the other girls.
I never thought I would be kept up by the thought of destroying a couple of teenagers friendship or even the reason for an argument but here we are. I hope they made up. Ultimately I know they’re at fault for ditching her but I definitely poured salt on the wound by joining in.
TLDR I added tension to an already crumbling teenagers friendship group by responding to what I think was their not so fun game of Marco Polo
apexncgeek: Naw, it's funny and I would have done the same many people would have. It's not your fault how they chose to react obviously they didn't have a very good friendship to begin with.
junebug_8317: Hindsight is always 20/20 and they were borderline bullying her so it instantly made me feel bad lol but i agree most would have done with same.
apexncgeek: Imagine the whole store replying. That would have been awesome.
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1658664397 | 1658806951 | t3_w6u4ur | t5_2to41 | 17 | Imaginary-Location35: TIFU by not knowing about my vaginal fornix [Semi-Update on ER bullet incident)
My original FU: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/tzxstq/tifu_by_ending_up_in_the_er_bc_of_a_bullet/
I posted about lodging a bullet vibrator in my vagina. I attempted, and failed to remove it. I needed professional medical help. There were a few comments suggesting my post was fake, my vagina was huge, and even comments that it wasn't REALLY stuck (that I could've gotten it out on my own).
I admit I was a little confused about how this actually occurred myself. I couldn't figure out a comprehensive explanation, but I knew I felt it in the way, back of my vagina. I couldn't grasp it due to how far and how narrow the area around it felt. It was almost like I was poking it or just able to grab it using a pincer grip. It was in an unreachable area (based on my body).
Well, that was because I didn't understand my own anatomy (and the existence of my fornix). It was in my posterior fornix (the way, back depending on your angles).Thanks to the reddit user who commented on the original post suggesting that was what happened. I have had my boyfriend hit this (probably mostly in doggy) and just never knew what it was.
For those of you who don't know, the vaginal fornix is past the cervix and can result in serious pleasure for women (and penis tips that can reach it based on angles/ length). Also known as the A-spot (anterior fornix) for the G-spot comparable pleasure it brings.
A link for those who want to know and feel more, do some fun research: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en/article/434wxb/this-is-how-to-hit-the-other-g-spot-the-a-spot
More instructions: https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/a-spot#positions
TLDR: I got a bullet vibrator stuck inside me 3 months ago, but didn't realize where it was exactly (my posterior fornix) because I wasn't aware of my own autonomy.
WayneCider: Next time put the bullet vibe in a condom before inserting it so you have a handle to pull it out. My wife's favorite spot is when I rub her posterior fornix with the head of my cock. Super quick and powerful orgasms and I love how it clamps down tight right around the mushroom cap. What works great too is wearing a vibrating cockring while she grinds it deep
Imaginary-Location35: Mmm. Clamping is not optional. What position is best for getting to it? My partner is average and I want him to get to that area every time.
WayneCider: My personal favorite is standing missionary with her lying on the corner of the bed while I'm standing. I have a clip, can I post a NSFW GIF in this sub, or should I PM you a link?
Imaginary-Location35: You can post here if you like. Thanks
WayneCider: It's sort of like this, but both feet on the ground.
https://www.redgifs.com/watch/biodegradabledeadlyamericanpainthorse
Same angle, sort of like he's pointing straight down. Keep your legs wider open than hers. The main point is you need to be wide open so the tight area isn't impeding his cockhead from sliding in.
Yeah, this spot is my obsession ::sigh::
Imaginary-Location35: Good thing to be invested in. I may become obsessed.
| 7 | 2.428571 | |
1658665890 | 1658675106 | t3_w6uks3 | t5_2to41 | 2 | QueenArya69: TIFU by forgetting that I'm an awful person
My friend lives in another country and was about to come home after 3 years of not visiting. The distance has made some changes in our relationship but we still talk 1/2 every week. My friend wasn't always the nicest and me and others would would often comment on that ( when she lived with here ), but this all changed when she moved away because we all here grew apart and didn't communicate so often.
A few days ago I heard a rumor spreading around about her that was really f#cked up and I didn't believe it. It was about consuming dr##s. I wanted to be the good friend and told her everything ( who told me, how they told me etc.. ). My friend confronted them and long story short the other party told everything I have been saying trough the years. I don't think they did something bad tho. I see it as a defense mechanism.
Now I don't speak neither with my friend from the other country nor the ones I had here...
TL;DR I told a rumor I heard and caused a massive fight where all my gossiping was revealed.
ccrunnertempest: This doesn't make you an awful person. Maybe could have used more tact but not an awful person. Maybe just asking her if she was consuming would have been the way to approach it.
DiceCubed1460: Gossipping about your friends behind their backs for YEARS really DOES make you an awful person
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1658667373 | 1658671737 | t3_w6v0ir | t5_2to41 | 2,953 | [deleted]: TIFU sitting on my cousin's lap during a long car ride
[removed]
DoIKnowYouHuman: I would strongly advise against sharing this story at his wedding, unless it happens to be your wedding too lol
catdog918: *Sweet home Alabama intensifies*
DoIKnowYouHuman: Great now I got banjos playing in my head
Serpenyoje: You must know a very different version of that song
DoIKnowYouHuman: I was thinking more the film…although I don’t think the film in my mind is the film with that name, what’s the film with the creepy banjo music playing to scared campers?
Serpenyoje: Deliverance!
DoIKnowYouHuman: Thank you!!! Is that even set in Alabama? It’s not is it :(
rattymcratface: Deliverance is set in Georgia
DoIKnowYouHuman: Thank you!!! TIL a third thing!
cfdeveloper: turn off your computer before you learn a 4th thing; reddit brains can't handle that
DoIKnowYouHuman: Ahhh FFS I didn’t know the limit was 3 things, TIL a fourth…damn it’s happening, my knees are weak, my arms are heavy, WHAT DO I DO? HELP!
cfdeveloper: ask your mom to make some spaghetti
DoIKnowYouHuman: What’s a “mom”?
| 14 | 210.928571 | |
1658669353 | 1658672982 | t3_w6vnd9 | t5_2to41 | 59 | MildlyIntestingTeen: Tifu by using masterbation as anger management and provoking the menstrual gods.
[removed]
SeaTale6353: My girlfriend has had the same thing happen to her in the sense of masturbating invoking the menstrual goddesses, what you're going through sounds really horrible, as do your parents. Honestly, I think they'll mostly just be concerned, but not know how to approach it the right way, especially as religious people twist things to suit their world view, so they might see something you've done as sinful or something stupid. Overall, I think you're just in a really stressful situation, but it's good you got that off of your chest :)
MildlyIntestingTeen: I’m ugly crying right now. How did wanting some alone time lead to being cast out of my home! I’m still trying to work out my sexuality and now I’m going to a freakin catholic correctional school wtf is that. Agh it’s all hitting me now.
SeaTale6353: It doesn't seem right at all, there's absolutely nothing wrong with who you are and while you might not have a choice with the school, you can make sure to remember that, I guarantee there will be other people struggling with their sexuality too, but it's not sinful or wrong, you were born the way you are and your parents seem like a bunch of nasty old fucks with backwards views that only care about themselves. As long as you have a phone, you can always talk to people.
MildlyIntestingTeen: I have no idea what the phone situation will be
| 5 | 11.8 | |
1658668424 | 1658673396 | t3_w6vcnp | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking hand sanitizer
[deleted]
jrandoboi: Hand sanitizer doesn't have "alcohol" in it, but rather a type of alcohol that is toxic called isopropanol. The drinkable alcohol is ethanol, so you basically did one of the things people did during the prohibition days. Your lucky your eyes still work, and I'm glad you're in a better place (mentally).
bipolargecko: Thank you for explaining that!
| 3 | 7 | |
1658669389 | 1658686274 | t3_w6vns6 | t5_2to41 | 38,905 | temujin94: TIFU by laughing at a woman's unfortunate demise in a full auditorium. [NSFW]
This happened a few years ago, it was my first week of university studying law. I met a young guy a few years younger than me let's call him Dave, in my class who I spent most of the first week with.
It was our first ever criminology class and it was a new lecturer a woman in her mid 20s and the lesson was in a auditorium of nearly 100 people. She began by explaining the difference between manslaughter and murder and begin to tell us of a real case example.
The lecturer who ended up quite red in the face explained about a couple engaging in some form of roleplay and eventually ended with him fisting his partner. A signet ring he was wearing caught inside her and she unfortunately ended up bleeding to death.
Now comes the fuck up, obviously after this story there was a very awkward silence. Dave thought this break in noise was the perfect time to ask me a pertaining question in his innocence. 'I get why that would be considered manslaughter but why does she keep saying fisting instead of punching?'
The question was so hilariously innocent at the worst ever time. I'm now sitting cry-laughing unbelievably loudly after this absolute horrible story. It was 100 times funnier like a joke at a funeral because I knew how surreal it must be for everyone else in attendance of me laughing so hard I can barely breathe.
TL;DR: Woman that died from being fisted caused me to cry-laugh in front of 100 people because my friend thought that fisting was synonymous with punching and asked a question about it at the worst possible time.
gerusz: I suspect lawyers and attorneys working criminal cases will have to develop a robust and rather dark sense of humor. You might just have a head start.
Silent_Hastati: Doctors and morticians have the funniest dark jokes, I'm sure lawyers aren't far behind.
JarlBallin420: Don't forget nurses
injustice_done3: Or military
CrowWarrior: Or vacuum repair technicians.
leadwolf32: Nah their jokes just suck
CrowWarrior: We keep our jokes clean though.
chaigulper: Boring
Halluxus: So you've seen The Gray Man. 😂😂😂😂
chaigulper: Actually, no.
Mobile-Entertainer60: Don't. You're welcome.
| 12 | 3,242.083333 | |
1658666933 | 1658675937 | t3_w6uvqo | t5_2to41 | -17 | fabulousjackulous: TIFU by texting my gf I want to break up and deleting it immediately afterwards.
I (22M) texted my girlfriend (21F) that I wanted to break up because we were in different emotional and planes and we’re headed to different paths in life. And I was sorry for doing this to her on text.
But I deleted it afterwards because I never felt that way.
Truth is I have been diagnosed with borderline depression and suicidal two days prior by my therapist. Because I told her that I bought sleeping pills and wanted to take my life.
I always felt a little depressed but nothing very extreme, but it got worse each day, I hated myself, waking up was a nightmare. I always wished I could never wake up from my sleep.
But whenever I was with my gf, everything felt perfect, almost too good to be true, I was scared of opening up to her, telling her about my depression. I was scared of becoming a burden to her. This fact made me felt terrible. So I decided to break up with her by the phone.
Nevertheless, she already saw the text I sent, but deleted. She called me and we talked everything out with complete honesty, but deep down inside me I think I fucked up big time and ruined an essential part of my relationship with her by my impulsiveness. She told me that she can’t completely trust me anymore.
Tl;dr: I am borderline depressed and suicidal. I never talked about it to anyone and a week ago started therapy, the same week that I bought sleeping pills. I felt like a burden to my gf, who never knew about my depression. So I decided to break up with her per text. But I deleted it afterwards. Nonetheless, she saw the text and I opened up to her in all honesty. But she said she can’t trust me completely, because I didn’t open up to her about something so important. So now I think I fucked up with the most important person in my life.
nicholi119: She sounds toxic. Her reaction to you being depressed and suicidal then briefly decide to break up with her over text and delete it is to tell you she doesn’t trust you. Not to help you or at least get you help, but to make it all about her. Yeah, run far and fast dude.
himan1240: She sounds like a normal person. My sister attempted to take her own life without telling anyone what she was going through and now we can't completely trust her on her own and have had to take measures like locking up all of the medications and such. Are we toxic for that?
nicholi119: If he had said she couldn’t trust him to be alone, then that would be different. He said that she told him she can’t trust him completely since he didn’t tell her about something important. In any case, when my mother tried to kill herself and I found out, I was horribly upset and wouldn’t let her out of my sight for awhile. But the difference is I didn’t tell her I couldn’t trust her, when going through something like that you show support and strength. Your first words to someone being “I can’t trust you” could push them right over the edge again. Why would you want to even risk that?
| 4 | -4.25 | |
1658673485 | 1658676096 | t3_w6x2wb | t5_2to41 | 10 | Throwmedown909: Tifu Selling my bf big bong collection
Little back story, bf has been collecting rigs for years. I am a bit ignorant on the costs of everything to do with that sort of thing. He says he would like to maybe sell them to start a new collection, so I packed them up. He gave me a price list for each one for the flee market since he had work.
Here is my mess up, I set up and I am ready to price them when I think “well no one is going to buy this stuff so high!” I re priced them for a “fair” price, atleast I thought. My table was packed with buyers, I sold out within 4 hours!
I fold my table pack up get home and I’m so excited for when he gets off work. Until he asks me how it went and how much he made or sold being ready for atleast half his collection to be home. I give him the money and tell him we sold out, he was very excited until I gave him $676.
I somehow screw him over beyond belief, saying now I owe him over $4k?!? Here is a small pov from how I thought I helped!?
. Puff Con? He priced at $450 for what he said was the collection. A charging base, some interchangeable glass, the things you put your weed in, a electric stick and travel case. I sold for $100.
. A bear bong he priced for $140 I sold for $25. It was so small!!!!
. A collection i believe called Smaug?
3 bongs for $270 I sold for $80.
Then there was more named bongs and rigs I sold for $10/$15 each. Accessories for $5/$10
Is he over reacting?! He doesn’t want to speak to me and that I broke his trust!?! I think he is being ridiculous I got his collection sold fast?! I don’t understand some advice please.
TL;DR sold bf collection for $676 total apparently owing him money now and will not speak to me.
EDIT: I get that I have messed up in some way but omg I think you guys are over reacting!! He is not replying to me. Suing should not be a option, I will consider paying him a portion on payments if he would answer me and consider my POV.
GrottySamsquanch: This can't be real, but if it is. You fucked up. He already gave you FAIR prices & you WAAAAAYYYY undercut him.
Throwmedown909: Very real sorry to say. I wish it wasn’t, I just don’t understand how! I’ve never smoked nor purchased anything for him or it.
kisskit_buiscuit: Why on earth would you change his price list? This is beyond idiocy
Throwmedown909: They looked idk not worth it in my eyes and we sold out!!
kisskit_buiscuit: Why the heck were your eyes relevant when you knew nothing about the stuff? It wasn't yours to price down. Why didn't you bother asking him about prices if you weren't sure they were right? If I was your guy I'd sue you for damages right after dumping you.
Throwmedown909: I think suing is much? If he thinks they are worth so much then why didn’t he sell them his self?!! Why did he want to get rid of them then?! I believe I helped him
ninpho2246: You believe you helped him in losing a good bit of money. That's why you came here to write a story on how you fucked up.
You fucked up and know it.
| 8 | 1.25 | |
1658673799 | 1658674925 | t3_w6x71z | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU: Losing my Virginity to a Water Slide
[removed]
Eldhannas: Prevoiusly posted on July 12, 2021: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/oitao3/tifu\_losing\_my\_virginity\_to\_a\_water\_slide/
emoney017: I knew I’d read this exact same shit, word for word, before
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1658674903 | 1658702884 | t3_w6xlp8 | t5_2to41 | 57 | MVPGhosT1: TIFU by leaving a cosmetic bag in the bathroom when a girl was visiting.
A couple of months ago, i moved to a new apartment. A friend of mine made a funny bet that i get 1 month time to have sex in the new apartment otherwise it will be cursed and i’ll never get laid there. I accidentally found a female cosmetic bag that the previous tenant had forgotten. So i put it on display in the bathroom to prove to my friend that i got laid during the time period. I didn’t want to lose the bet :”)
Time passes and i have a girl that i really like coming over yesterday. Everything is chill, the mood, the music and the drinks all going good. She says she wants to use the bathroom. Shortly after she comes out and says she has to leave. Today morning i get a message from her that we shouldn’t meet again, she doesn’t feel comfortable and that i should be ashamed that i am cheating on my girlfriend and playing her. She apparently saw the cosmetic bag and thought i have a gf.
TLDR; i lost my chance with a girl i like because i left a cosmetic bag in the bathroom to win a bet.
tobyfinny: Is it possible to play it off like you just love getting pampered?
MVPGhosT1: Pretty hard to pull off, considering that my routine lacks all body care products and usually there’s only a toothbrush and shaving razors in there
31spiders: Volunteer at a community theater quickly. Tell her you brought a friends makeup bag home when the show did strike.
OR just tell her the real deal with your buddy corroborating the story.
Rebeeroo: "It's ok, I just made a bet with my friend that I would get laid..." I'm really sure she'll totally understand that.
31spiders: Yeah but you tell her the whole story. “It was left here by the previous tenants but he bought that I had a girl over. I’m not really that kinda guy anyways, no one is going to be looking for it. Take it along toss it wherever you want. Sorry I know it looked bad but I never had a girlfriend while I was seeing you….you can even ask my buddy about it he’s in my contacts under XXXXX”
| 6 | 9.5 | |
1658676309 | 1658687022 | t3_w6y4kc | t5_2to41 | 4 | UBetcha84: Tifu by not bailing my fiancé out of jail and calling her parents about her legal situation
Late Thursday night my fiancé calls me from jail and tells me what happened. I won’t get into details here, but she’s definitely innocent and the cops were being bastards as they’re wont to do. She doesn’t have a record of any kind and what they’re claiming she did isn’t even remotely anything like she could ever possibly do.
I digress. I ask her what’s up with my step son as I want to make sure he’s ok but she’s so distraught I don’t get an answer.
Friday morning I call her parents to see if they have the kid and they don’t. They ask why, and I tell them what’s going on and they flip out. They tell me they’ll make some calls and I work on trying to resolve the legal situation. I even call my uncle who is a cop to see if he can use his connections to help resolve the situation, which it turns out he can’t cuz the state patrol initiated the arrest and they could give a fuck about a regular uniform city cop.
Eventually, bail is announced and all I need to get her out is $2,000, which I don’t have but I try my damndest to get together. I call other people to see if they can chip in, I call to see if I can get a co signer as some bail bondsmen allow pay arrangement as long as you have steady employment for a year, which I also don’t have.
Saturday comes around and I get a call from my fiance who it turns out one of her friends ended up bailing her out.
She calls me screaming at me about how I’m a terrible person who was just going to let her sit in jail, and she never told me to call her parents and now her mom is in the hospital with heart issues cuz she’s so worried about her daughter and it’s my fault she’s there. I’m also not the father of her child (who it turns out was at a friend’s house and was safe) so his safety isn’t my concern.
I ended up telling her if I’m really that bad a person I want the ring back and if she wants to break up to just let me know. She responded by saying that it’s fucked up I would leave her during a difficult time and allow her to be put in prison and I told her that’s not what I said.
Anyways, court is Monday and I’m unsure if I’ll go to support her.
Tl;dr: Fiancé did something stupid, got thrown in jail. I didnt bail her out and called her parents and she’s mad at me about both.
Edit: Because I got a logical response about not being able to give an opinion because of being vague, she got arrested for fleeing the police, which in my state is a felony. She felt she was in an unsafe location to pull over and attempted to find a better place, and apparently the cops took this as evasion. She probably should’ve called 911 to say what her intent was or pulled over and asked the police to move to a better location. Something better than what she did.
Fit_Ad_7681: If I'm understanding this right, you waited until the bail was announced, correct? Then you started exploring your options to pay the bail after you knew what it was, but her friend showed up first to pay it? I'm not sure where you went wrong here. You didn't have the money immediately and needed a little time to pull it together.
For the parents, unless she told you explicitly not to tell them, you did the only logical thing. It sounds like she very much over reacted to this whole scenario after getting out. In her defense though, you ending the engagement was probably not the best reaction either. You should have at least let things cool down then talk about it before making a rash decision like that.
UBetcha84: You have the first part correct. When I called the required number early Friday there was no bail announcement and it wasn’t announced until close to 3 in the afternoon.
I didn’t actually break off our engagement, I just was saying we should if that’s how she feels about me.
Fit_Ad_7681: I understand now. The way I read it made it sound like you did. Either way, probably not the best thing to say in the moment, but I get that it got pretty heated quickly.
| 4 | 1 | |
1658678307 | 1658682835 | t3_w6yv24 | t5_2to41 | 122 | yourdadisabean: Tifu Talks Episode#37 Got a story to share? Come and share on Tifu Talks!
00Moonie00: This guy is immortal
PheonixGalaxy: 😂
00Moonie00: Fr, and a good storyteller too
PheonixGalaxy: I guess he was in quite a pickle
| 5 | 24.4 |
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