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1658855635 | 1658927102 | t3_w8pb5y | t5_2to41 | 44 | Xx_FapMaster_xX: TIFU by sack tapping my friend
When I was 13 (m) there was this trend going round to sack tap your mates randomly out of nowhere, then follow it up by loudly blurting out SACK TAP. To this day I have no idea how or why this caught on, but it did and here we are.
I was having a lunch BBQ thing at my house and lots of my classmates were there. I decided that this was the perfect time to make an attempt at this newfangled form of comedy.
My unsuspecting friend who we shall call Brad was standing isolated from the large group of kids was the perfect target.
My plan was simple. I was to casually waltz over, strike fearlessly and ferociously at his groin then proclaim triumphantly the sacred words.
What could go wrong, I foolishly told myself as I began to move in for the kill.
I approached Brad, and went through the motion of swinging my arm into his unmentionables in my head. It was time. I lifted my arm back and went for the fabled sack tap on poor unsuspecting Brad.
As my hand travelled past the equilibrium of the ark I had a moment of realisation. Brad hadn’t wronged me, not done anything to be deserving of the pain I was sure to inflict upon him. Unfortunately for me this lapse in judgement distracted me from the mighty blow, and caused me to run out of momentum moments before collision. Instead of sack tapping Brad I ended up grabbing his cock in what can only be described as the most homosexual display ever conceived.
TL:DR In an attempt to be cool I accidentally grabbed my friends dick
RudeSprinkles1240: "Sack tap?!?!"
I'm sorry, but someone should have told you that it's real name is "sexual assault."
Quarkly95: Not if everyone consents. This hit all british schools, and the vast majority of the time, the tapping of the sack took place within friend groups in which everyone consented by way of taking part.
Also, come on man. Let's not cheapen the term. Next thing you'll be trying to pass off the pocket police as criminal destruction of property or something.
RudeSprinkles1240: Nope.
Quarkly95: Thank you for your well thought out and in depth response. You've truly given me a fresh point of view on this, your theories about this topic are astounding and you've covered them in such enlightening detail here. Bravo, I applaud your courage, eloquence and panache here.
| 5 | 8.8 | |
1658857422 | 1658900115 | t3_w8q2d6 | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my boss think am gay.
[deleted]
PracticeAsleep: And now you know why I don't send dic pics to ANYONE!!!
newkingasour: Well, it'd be nice to have the stories to tell....
PracticeAsleep: I got lots of stories. I let words paint the pictures. But if you insist on sending Pics do not expect this to be your last FU.
newkingasour: I rarely do but i just wanted to keep things spicy
PracticeAsleep: One day you are going to look in a mirror and say, "Him! That's the guy who is my worst enemy." LOL.
newkingasour: I do that everyday, sometimes i feel like a glitch in a program. I really feel like my existence alone as a negative effect on the environment and on people i come in contact with. I try to do good in order to cancel out any negative i might be causing but i feel its not enough. As a result i stay mostly reclusive. I give little advice to people and i sometimes wonder who's space I'm in, what would the person whose space I'm occupying be doing.
I just feel that there's a perfect order that I'm hindering and that there are a few people who sense it. I can tell by the way they look at me or behave when they see me. As a result, sometimes I'll find myself trying to prove that I'm a good guy. A struggle I've not seen anyone else sharing. Its a rough life im living and i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It's one reason i haven't had children yet.
ResponsibilityLive85: It sounds like you're really struggling. A lot of people feel like you do, but just because you feel that way doesn't make it true. I would suggest seeing a therapist if you can afford it. I'm sorry you feel this way.
| 8 | 3.875 | |
1658850032 | 1658858562 | t3_w8mz92 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Hangry_Mister_Monkey: TIFU by scraping my mothers car whilst pulling into my parents driveway.
So what happened was the following:
I just came out of class and was excited to get my 3rd drive, so I hop on into the car as my mother wants me to practice pulling into their driveway, so all goes well and we reach the house gate.
I press the gates button and I start to drive into the driveway. I go slowly amd the gate hasnt fully opened yet, my mother screams to brake, panicked me didnt until we hit the gate.
Put the car into park and ran out to see the damage and get the gate back onto the railing.
The car suffered a 3 inch by 3 inch scrape mark and the gate is fine. I however feel like the dumbest idiot and the biggest failure, I do truly believe this is my fault but my mother has told me not to worry and to next time wait for the gate to fully open and then start pulling in from the street.
So in essence I learned that as a learner hitting the brake is absolutely above all else as to protect the ones in the car.
TL DR:
I scraped my moms car whilst pulling into my parents driveway, felt like an asshole but also learned a valuable lesson.
BlueDaisyCat: Don't be so hard on yourself- you're just learning, you made a little mistake. You didn't hurt anyone, you didn't even make your Mom mad at you. You've had your panic behind the wheel moment- now when you need to react while driving just try to stay cool. You're going to be just fine :)
Hangry_Mister_Monkey: Thanks, I started to calm down about it, luckily the damage was on tha same panel that had to be replaced because of prior damage, so yea.
And thanks to my mother for being so chill about it, literally laughed about it afterwards so yea. But thanks for this message.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658859408 | 1658864908 | t3_w8qn3f | t5_2to41 | 9 | chaos021: Yes, it is. I have friends I've known since I was in 5th grade. Even the huggers in our friend group would find this odd. But y'all do what you do.
Connlagh: Your friend group dynamic isn't the de facto right one.
I don't see the problem people have with OP
chaos021: Duh. I already said that. OP trying to dismiss what I said is what raises my suspicions more than anything else. Like "yea, everybody runs around doing this. Where have you been?" Really?
Connlagh: Ah your a MASSIVE gun enthusiast.
I see what your problem with this post is now...
chaos021: You assume much with those sentences.
Connlagh: I do. And I'd bet a lot on me being right in this instance
chaos021: I'd bet a lot the other way. On a personal level, I do find these assumptions humorous though.
Connlagh: You also think guns are great and touching other guys is bad so Im not really interested in your personal level.
Glad you got a laugh though
chaos021: Touching other guys is whatever you want it to be. It doesn't matter to me so long as everything is consensual.
I happen to like shooting competitions so yea?
Connlagh: >I happen to like shooting competitions so yea?
I just live in a country where guns aren't really a thing. I don't like them anyway. Too many chances for accidents.
chaos021: And that's fine. I'd probably have the same opinion with similar experience. I grew up around farm land where most folks had guns.
Connlagh: Fair.
Ever had a bad experience with one?
chaos021: Me personally? Nah. I have seen some really dumb (read: unsafe) shit at a few public ranges around me so I don't use them any more.
| 13 | 0.692308 | |
1658859281 | 1658862096 | t3_w8quo0 | t5_2to41 | 19 | InternetStrang3r: TIFU by visiting a gore sub
Well I clicked a link to the r/eyeblech sub and by god do I regret it. It’s just like the live leak videos my mate showed me years ago of a poor lady getting cut in half but even more gruesome.
I watched a few videos for some reason; realistically a donkey getting hit by a train should’ve been enough for my weak stomach but I fucked up as my curious mind wandered.
Now my stomach is churning, head is feeling light, palms are sweaty and my legs are a bit weak. Genuinely I took watching a guy smash a pickaxe through his leg irl and blood spouting all over better than I took seeing a few clips of gore online.
I feel like I’m questioning my life, humanity and everything profound. Now I’ll think twice about standing near ledges or being near a road. Seeing a guy get shot in the head and pour his brain juices out was bad enough but seeing a failed suicide attempt with a shotgun was even more unbearable. If you ever wanted to see a school shooting in action then bobs your uncle you’ve got it. Honestly I can’t believe there’s a fan base for this kind of thing that’s not on the dark web. Even more disturbing is the mods who literally have to trawl through this content daily.
Self inflicted I know but something in my brain just made me press on even though I was literally bringing sick up. I don’t understand what I was thinking or why I felt like I had to scroll down.
Please don’t visit that sub unless you really have the stomach for pure gore. Even if you’re bored, curious or just stupid then just be careful.
If anyone has any advice on how to get this icky feeling to go away then I’m all ears.
Thank you :)
TL;DR. I self inflicted torture on my eyes and now feel sick
sandbirde: I did this same thing once. I don't know what I was thinking. Just morbid curiosity, I suppose, and I used to have a much better stomach for gore. I could only make it through 5 posts or so before tapping out and feeling awful the rest of the day.
InternetStrang3r: It really is a weird type of curiosity that makes you start scrolling. I feel mentally scarred lol
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1658859388 | 1658866493 | t3_w8qw9z | t5_2to41 | 26 | hifromplanetearth: TIFU - kayaking is hard
My friends are ok. Some of them are a little brighter than others, but not always by much. Or by enough, rather, to have helped me in this situation.
We were all excited to go on this kayaking adventure together but we didn’t put safety first 🙄
To get a kayak in water, it’s typically best to just find a shore and gently push it into the water.
We arrived on the scene where we wanted to go kayaking so we parked, got all of our things out of our three cars and headed to the “shore.”
The shore though was way further down than we had realized and instead of just repacking our cars (or not unpacking at all until we saw what we were dealing with) we decided to just kind of jump with our kayaks into the water.
Who was the tester guinea-pig?
ME.
I don’t know why I thought that this couldn’t end in disaster, but for some reason, I took the plunge and ended up upside-down in the water and had some scrapes along the way.
The rest of my friends decided to walk down further with their kayaks until they found a more suitable shore to safely depart from 🤦♀️
Anyway, I just used my kayak to meet them there, but I was wet and exhausted for the rest of the trip.
To make matters worse, one of my friends tossed my oar to me and it ricocheted off of my kayak AND MY HEAD into the water so I had to swim out to retrieve it before meeting them.
TL;DR - I DID go kayaking, but I got hurt because I was unsafe about it. But I think my friends got a good laugh out of it...
8ell0: Yeah… I think thinking before acting is a skill that can be worked on here
hifromplanetearth: I totally agree smh
8ell0: Live and learn :)
and it makes for a good story. NO good story started with a salad lol
As long as you benefit or learned something every life experience regardless of outcome will be of benefit.
Keep on living!
hifromplanetearth: Thank you, kind stranger
Will do!
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1658861961 | 1659076417 | t3_w8ry1r | t5_2to41 | 2,312 | idk_yael_ig: TIFU by mentioning I was Jewish online
So I (14f) don’t usually use social media platform like TikTok, instagram, and etc. A friend of mine recently told me to get discord though, and added me to a large server with dozens of random people whom I didn’t know. Most said they were my age or a bit older, and many made immature jokes and stuff but that’s to be expected of kids my age on the internet ya know?
But everyone seemed nice enough. So anyway, I thought everything was going fine until somehow the topic changed to religion. Many of the people in the server started sharing their, well, very strong opinion on religion. At some point they noticed I wasn’t interacting much and they asked me what I thought. I told them I wasn’t super comfortable discussing my opinion, but the real reason was that I knew that they wouldn’t agree with me based on what had already been shared.
They then started bashing on Islam and that made me a bit upset. I told them that it wasn’t fair to treat people like horrible people or terrorists just because of there religion. I also mentioned that as a Jewish person myself who has to deal with harmful stereotypes all the time it made me very upset and uncomfortable. The whole server blew up with people who I thought liked me suddenly calling me a colonizer and a murderer and bring up the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. After sending me death threats and telling me to KMS they banned me from the server. So yeah.
I deleted the app but my friend is now mad at me and saying that she refuses to speak to me for making her look like an idiot in front of her online friends. Looking back on it I should have just ignored the conversation and not said anything but whelp, too late now.
TL:DR I mentioned I was Jewish on discord and now friend won’t talk to me and I keep getting death threats
Edit 1: WOW- I did not expect this to blow up. I thank everyone for giving me advice in the comments and I have spoke to my friend on the issue. I explained it to her in simplistic terms that if she continued to let herself see past all these red flags regarding her “online friends” it would come back to hurt her in the future. She is still being stubborn and not talking to me, but I have the feeling she’s only doing it out of spite if anything. I stopped talking to her, but honestly It’s still really hard because she was one of my only friends for years and now she’s suddenly like a different person. I also found out that she has been posting many EXTREMELY racist and harmful things on social media, which baffled me. I sent her a long message saying that the person I am friends with would never have posted such things, and I can no longer support her if she’s going to continue to act this way. I’m now just waiting on her response, and on the matter of pressing charges, I honestly don’t want the drama of it. Most of the threats were crudely typed and none of the people had any of my information, and I don’t think even my friend would have sunk low enough to give them any of it. I did inform my parents who were disappointed in me for joining the online group in the first place, but they told me they were proud that I handled the situation responsibly and stood up for myself. Sooo… yea-
AllanfromWales1: I suppose at 14 you're probably too young to have crucified Jesus yourself..
make_making_makeable: Didn't the Romans crucify Jesus?
Asking for a friend.
Nivekian13: Roman Citizens in what is now Israel (including Jews because that's who lived there, with heathens and people of other Abrahamic faiths) cheered on a Jewish Socialist Liberal, starting his own branch of Judaism, getting executed by Roman Soldiers. The guy who only attacked people making money off his temple. The guy who emphasized loving his fellow man, hated the Death penalty, and hung out with lepers and prostitutes.
Neenknits: The Temple had an inner sanctuary and and outer courtyard. The outer courtyard’s purpose was to facilitate it so they ordinary people could pay their temple tax and get animals for their sacrifices. In order to make your sacrifice, you had to own the animal. Pilgrims came from all over, including other countries and didn’t always have the necessary half shekels for the temp tax, they had foreign money, and no animals. So there were money changers there, in order to change the pilgrims’ money to let them pay. They also had animals so they could buy them to sacrifice. The other reason they did this *there*, in the NON holy outer courtyard, (the inner courtyard was restricted and holy) was because stuff in the city, the Romans taxed. The stuff inside the temple, in that outer courtyard was NOT taxed by the Romans. So they did it this way to save the pilgrims money, and to avoid giving the Romans even more money.
The people who wrote up the whole turning the tables over thing had clearly never actually seen the temple courtyard, that stuff was written decades later, and, well, it was a game of “telephone” and they got the process in the courtyard wrong.
Nivekian13: *whoosh*
TheGhostofWillyWonka: It's not a whoosh moment, to Jews, what Jesus did in that story was an asshole move because moneychangers we're necessary for Jewish religious practice if you couldn't bring a sacrificial animal yourself. It's important to point out that you were repeating a whitewashed view promoted by Christians that makes Jews look greedy and scummy for just practicing Judaism.
Nivekian13: Jesus WAS A JEW.
​
Jesus DIED A JEW.
​
Christians are just a branch of Judaism. Christian hate toward Jews is probably the most moronic thing to come out of organised religion.
TheGhostofWillyWonka: Jesus was a heretical Jew, yes. That means nothing. Just because he was Jewish doesn't mean he didn't harm the Jewish community.
>Christians are just a branch of Judaism.
Not for 2,000 years. It certainly started as an apocalyptic offshoot of Judaism but Paul made quick work of splitting it (no circumcision, no food laws or any laws really). They are two completely separate religions. The only two ways to be Jewish are to be born of a Jewish mother or undergo a halakhic conversion. Most Christians don't fit the first criteria, and if they fit the second they would no longer be Christian. Judaism is an [ethnoreligion](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnoreligious_group?wprov=sfla1) which means you have to be born into it or convert (a very lengthy and hard process).
Also Christian theology massively contradicts Jewish theology.
If you don't believe me you are free to ask on /r/Jewish or /r/religion.
D4Damagerillbehavior: I see what you're saying and from an orthodox and conservative Jewish perspective, you are technically correct. Christianity does draw on a lot of Jewish practices still to this day, with slight changes in name or in practice.
The practice of Bathing in a pool of water in which a person comes back to the religion by renouncing their sins and committing themselves to the faith. A practice that is administered by a holy person in the eyes of the religious community, is a long standing orthodox Jewish practice that predates Christianity. Our Mikveh is their Baptism and is what Yeshua/Jesus did under John the Baptist.
Easter and the last supper are Passover traditions and meals, although Easter is also mixed with Paganism to convert more Pagans.
So, while the Christians aren't Jews, even according to Galatians (don't have to circumcise, don't have to follow the laws, only importance is to love your neighbor as you would love yourself), it's still pretty obvious that they are an offshoot of the Jewish religion, whether current Jews want to see it that way or not. We're actually quite mixed on this.
Considering that there are Orthodox jews in Israel who have officially renounced all non-orthodox jews worldwide as "not real jews", I think it's safe to say that splitting these hairs doesn't really benefit anyone. I think we can all recognize and respect where each other is coming from, without finding ways to see how we are different.
TheGhostofWillyWonka: >from an orthodox and conservative Jewish perspective
This is the perspective of all of Judaism, not just Orthodox and Masorti.
>Christianity does draw on a lot of Jewish practices still to this day, with slight changes in name or in practice.
Yes but that doesn't make them Jews. Judaism is an ethnoreligion; practice alone does not make one a Jew. You could be the most frum person but if you weren't born to a Jewish mother and didn't convert, you would not be considered Jewish.
>Easter and the last supper are Passover traditions and meals
It's certainly near Passover, but completely unrelated to our traditions. The modern Seder didn't even exist until hundreds of years after Jesus died. That's one reason it's so ridiculous to see things like "Christian Seders" (along with the gross appropriation and injecting idolatry into it).
>it's still pretty obvious that they are an offshoot of the Jewish religion
Agreed but that is very, very different from claiming that Christianity is still a sect of Judaism, which is what the above commenter did.
>I think it's safe to say that splitting these hairs doesn't really benefit anyone.
This isn't splitting hairs though. A totally different religion claiming to be Jews (Christianity is idol worship from our perspective) is different from an intra-communal schism made by fringe groups. That's what 2,000 years of separation and supercessionism does.
D4Damagerillbehavior: >>Easter and the last supper are Passover traditions and meals
>It's certainly near Passover, but completely unrelated to our traditions. The modern Seder didn't even exist until hundreds of years after Jesus died. That's one reason it's so ridiculous to see things like "Christian Seders" (along with the gross appropriation and injecting idolatry into it).
According to Haaretz, at the time of the ascent of Herod the Great to the Judean crown in 37 BCE, the rules of Pesach were relaxed to the extent that the meal could be eaten anywhere within Jerusalem.
"The Passover meal in this form was the meal described in the New Testament as Jesus' Last Supper"
[Haaretz - The Surprising Origin of Passover](https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/2021-03-31/ty-article/the-surprising-ancient-origins-of-passover/0000017f-e155-d38f-a57f-e757d8510000)
>>it's still pretty obvious that they are an offshoot of the Jewish religion
>Agreed but that is very, very different from claiming that Christianity is still a sect of Judaism, which is what the above commenter did.
True. They did say branch of Judaism. It's probably more apt to say whatever Buddhism is to Hinduism, that's what Cristianity is to Judaism.
| 12 | 192.666667 | |
1658863207 | 1658863751 | t3_w8sgz9 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU because my relationship is over for dabbing.
[deleted]
Hieroglphkz: SIX!
BillBearBaggins: This only makes it warm, fuzzy and worth it
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658865561 | 1658868948 | t3_w8tfdp | t5_2to41 | 21 | ryanocerous92: TIFU by moving my appointment.
This fuck up actually happened today, or yesterday depending on how you look at it. Me and my soon to be wife are getting married next month (hopefully), and in the UK you have to give a notice 29 days before the date of your wedding.
Our previous appointment on the 27th May was moved due to work conflict, but no big deal, we have loads of time, so moved it to July.
What we didn't realise was that the appointment had changed from the 27th to the 25th. So we've missed the appointment to give notice by a day by being complete morons and not reading properly. To top it off, I've just looked on the government website, and there are no more appointments until about 4 days before the wedding. And as we all know, 4 days is less time than the 29 days required.
The offices don't open until 9am tomorrow, so I'm going to call them and see what the hell we can do without reorganising another wedding. Wish me luck.
TLDR: Missed my notice to marry appointment, possibly can't have the wedding I've already planned.
Feellikedancing: Wedding celebrant here. Not 100% on UK law, but the simple loophole here is to go ahead with the wedding and just do the legal parts at a later time. I’ve taken several weddings where the “signing of the registry” was actually signing a fancy looking piece of paper for the photo and then officially singing the marriage licence at a later date. You can still party and enjoy your day and no one needs to be the wiser.
ryanocerous92: This is something I honestly hadn't thought about. Thank you! It's so stressful not being able to do anything until the morning so this is a nice bit of peace of mind.
Feellikedancing: This exact situation happens more often than most people realise, you’ll be fine.
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1658868228 | 1658870776 | t3_w8ujzg | t5_2to41 | 9 | Silvarys_edit: TIFU by telling my bf I cut myself
Sorry for formatting, am on mobile. Also tw for self-harm.
I live with my boyfriend of almost 3 years, we’re both 24. He met me while I was in therapy and knows I have depression.
I am currently looking for a new therapist but haven’t had any luck yet. Even though I’m on medication, my mental state worsened recently in the way, that I don’t feel any joy. My thoughts of self harm have increased as well.
Last saturday, while my bf went to the store, I did it, and cut myself on my hand. I wanted to tell him, but couldn’t find the right words, so time passed and I dismissed it.
I had already thought about just not telling him, because of a situation where he had thought I had hurt myself and was really worried.
But I wanted to be upfront and honest with him so today after dinner we just talked and joked around. It wasn’t easy but I brought myself to tell him which in hindsight really killed the mood. He was surprised and kinda didn‘t know how to react. He asked „why?“ but I just shrugged. He made me show him where the cuts are and I did. Wasn‘t even a big deal for me as I was already over it for the time being.
He on the other hand got mad and asked, how I could do this to him as everything was going so well recently. If he‘d notice me trying something again he‘d call an ambulence, for my head rather than for the injury.
He talked about how I betrayed his trust and that he now never knows whether I‘m doing something while he’s away.
I just listened and regretted not waiting for my therapy to start. My bf even said if I cut myself again he‘d probably leave me, because he did not want a girlfriend that is self-harming. It didn‘t help that I was nervously smirking while telling him. I really did a crappy job and threw him in the cold water with my information.
Tl,dr: I told my bf that I self-harmed a few days ago and now he might leave me if I do it again, which I obviously cannot promise.
GuidancePrevious7461: A decent man would be more worried about you and wanting to offer support. He sounds very self centered threatening to leave because you betrayed him and he doesn't want a girlfriend who self harms. He knew you had depression when you got together. Did you ever promise not to self harm?
Silvarys_edit: No, it has never come up before apart from one time I locked myself in the bathroom but didn‘t do anything. He just thought I had self-harmed but dismissed it after I told him I had not.
And yeah, I guess he is self centered when he is scared someone else is taking up so much space, he‘ll be forgotten or something
respectfulpanda: I get his point. There is a huge mental weight associated to a loved one hurting themselves.
Yes, you're the one with depression and I hope you
are able to develop stronger coping mechanisms, but there is also pain in the constant fear that you're going to walk in and find your loved one has hurt themselves further.
Silvarys_edit: Exactly. I get that he want‘s to protect himself by making me stop but it just doesn’t sit well with me how he’s doing it and how he doesn’t step back for my sake. I even feel selfish writing that.
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1658870348 | 1658871009 | t3_w8vfgn | t5_2to41 | 29 | tifu_throwaway555: TIFU by possibly destroying my relationship with my best friend
Throwaway because reasons. This happened this past weekend. I went to visit my (M) best friend (F) over the weekend for my birthday. We've been friends for a long time (around 6 years now) and she is by far my favourite person in the world. It was honestly one of my favourite birthdays ever until it took a horrible turn for the worse.
You should know, one that I have been trying to deal with on my own over these years is whether I love her or not. I had brought this topic up with her in the past but she had clearly indicated that she was not interested in me that way. This has happened three or four times, so I know that I need to deal with it and move on. I had absolutely no intention of bringing up the subject at all, I was content being her friend (or so I thought).
Anyway, this weekend was going really great, until she suggested we goto one of her old ex's place to hang out, just the three of us. She had mentioned things were casual with the ex and I was okay with going there provided we all hung out. I had met the ex from before and he is a fun guy so I didn't really have a problem with it, and most of the night was actually really fun too. Unfortunately, after a everyone had a few drinks we put a movie on and they started cuddling, getting handsy, occasionally making out and just generally making me a third wheel while I was right next to them. I had a very visceral reaction to this. I was jealous, I was disgusted, I felt disrespected and honestly needed to escape. I tried to keep my feelings in check but this went on for about an hour until we stopped the movie and started doing other things together and I felt a bit better. However, in the car ride back to her place (I was staying in her guest room) I brought up my feelings again and had an emotional breakdown. I told her that sometimes I wish I had never met her (I immediately regretted this but once said I couldn't take it back). She was, of course, angry that I still felt this way about her, and devastated that I could say something like that to her. Understandably.
She went off to get ready for bed and I had some time to think, I asked her if we could talk and I could see she was angry, hurt, and frustrated. We didn't have a very productive conversation, I told her I needed space and time from her and she agreed. I told her that I really want to just be her friend and that I am trying my best to do that, and she said she understood but that I had to deal with my shit. The next morning we said goodbye but it felt awful, I wanted to say more but couldn't and I didn't know what or how she was feeling, or even what to say. Anyway, I am currently going through a lot of regret and shame and don't think she will want to continue being friends with me anymore.
​
TL;DR: Birthday weekend took a horrible turn and now my best friend probably hates me.
Nobody957: She's an asshole for using you as a third wheel and believing you can just switch off your feelings.
You're an idiot for going along with her.
Live and learn, mate.
ybuawom: It’s harsh, but this is a true as truth gets
| 3 | 9.666667 | |
1658870491 | 1658938831 | t3_w8vhnq | t5_2to41 | 31 | hoeseph_stalin_: TIFU by having my brother receive my suspiciously labelled parcel
So I ordered a blush (make-up product) sample from a small Instagram shop a few weeks ago which was to be delivered today.
Unfortunately I was at my aunt's,attending her death anniversary when I got a phone call from the delivery man.I quietly and quickly told him I'd send my older brother who was at home,to receive it for me. Called my brother, quickly told him it was paid for and to just go and take the parcel from the man.
Brother asked me, trying to make conversations if it was from Amazon and what it contained.I hesitated and said, "....no,it's...it's from....a......a..... site I ordered from" and then hung up urgently as I didn't want to be rude to everyone there by having a full blown chat in the midst of a room full of people grieving,let alone recieve a phone call.
Anyway,I got home by evening and there it was on my table,an envelope with my name,address and the sender's name written in bold on one side.On the other side was written in bold caps the shade of the blush I ordered ,"PRODUCT NAME : FLIRTY NUDES".
Then it dawned on me.My older brother, another aunt and her friend (whom I'm sharing my room with at the moment) and quite possibly my younger brother too now most likely think I have a woman sending me nudes of herself.Plus in hindsight me dodging my older brother's question about the parcel without explanation during the phonecall doesn't help either.
Can't help but cringe a little everytime I think about it now :(
TL:DR : made my brother receive my parcel that said "Product name:FLIRTY NUDES. It's the name of the shade of blush I ordered.
Nothingtoseehere066: I'm curious about the "death anniversary". Was this some sort of gathering to remember someone who had passed? I've never heard of such a thing. The anniversary of someone's death can be hard for the type of people that mark those dates, but I've never heard of people gathering for it.
hoeseph_stalin_: Yeah where I'm from(Northeast India),it's pretty common to do it especially if it's the first death anniversary. It's sort of like paying respect to the deceased plus a celebration of life we have as we come together at the same time.
We basically get together and pay respect to the deceased,reminisce/talk about the days we spent with them and the life that the person lived.
We spend time with each other,have lunch/dinner together (sort of like a picnic or buffet),have fun together and celebrate life in remembrance of the deceased.
Idk I've always thought it's a beautiful tradition we follow however unusual it might be.
Nothingtoseehere066: Thank you for sharing. I always enjoy learning about new traditions around the world that I have not been exposed to. No matter how much you try to learn about other cultures the things are are regular activities tend to get missed because they are seen as so normal they are not worth mentioning.
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1658874594 | 1658922523 | t3_w8x65s | t5_2to41 | 375 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to prank my sister
[deleted]
koozy407: Oh no my dude, you were not FORCED to listen, you chose to. Gross.
stainedredhands: even if i “chose” its not like i actually wanted to or enjoyed it
koozy407: Why would you choose to listen to your sister having sex?
Successful-Drive-773: It's not like he can just casually get up and be like "have a good night folks" when his sister is getting speared like a buffalo, mate.
koozy407: The point is, he should have left the moment he realized they were going to fuck, mate.
Successful-Drive-773: How, though? The way it's described in the op, it's like they basically just entered the room and got straight to business. If anything, the lesson here is to stop pranking people because you end up with nightmares forever 🤣
koozy407: The moment he decided not to scare them he should have left. Stop defending this queef lol
Successful-Drive-773: If you can figure out how to get out from under a bed In front of two people without being noticed, then you should be teaching ninja classes, G.😁
koozy407: Why does he have to be unnoticed?!? Just get the fuck out. Simple as that. If he would have left the moment they came in and got at it there would have been no issue. Who cares if they see him leave?!? Why is that a big deal? He would rather listen to his sister have sex than run out and risk her knowing about the prank?!? How does that make sense to you?!?
Successful-Drive-773: It makes sense because it seems pretty clear in the op that he was going to, then didn't do it fast enough then didn't have the chance to leave before they started having sex. You're almost framing it like he went in there with the purpose of listening to sex. It's obviously, crystal clear that he just waited a few moments too long to do the prank, then when he realised what was happening it was too late to do anything without seeming like a colossal pervert, so the only logical move was to wait and sneak out when they were done. Not a huge deal
koozy407: No, I framed it as a choice. Which OP commented was correct. What exactly are you arguing?
Successful-Drive-773: That I don't understand your oddly strong reaction. He couldn't just get up and leave. He literally explains that in the post.🤔
koozy407: He physically could though. He chose not to. What do you not understand my dude?
Successful-Drive-773: Do you not understand social cues or something? Imagine if you were having sex and your sibling just popped out from under the bed. Picture it, actually understand the contextual parts of the situation, and then understand that he COULDN'T. By the time he knew what they were doing, it was already too late to just get up, without getting beaten up, attacked, accused of being a pervert or a thief or something by the BF, having their entire family told about him being a peeping tom or whatever.
Fucking reddit, man.🤣🤦 Put aside the constant need to argue with people and actually look at the subtext of the situation.
koozy407: You mean like you are doing?
You aren’t getting it. It never would have gotten to the sex part. Even if they stormed in naked already humping I would have still taken my leave. But hey, I’m just a stranger who doesn’t enjoy sibling sex. You and OP have fun with that.
mrbakerman420: I got a headache after reading your replies
koozy407: Probably make your head hurt more if you knew how absolutely unfazed I am by that. Try some ibuprofen
throwawaypornacc379: Wow comedy excellence every applaud this man
| 19 | 19.736842 | |
1658883915 | 1658956884 | t3_w90q51 | t5_2to41 | 238 | Kadiss: TIFU I just started a new job and tested positive for covid 19.
I’m not sure if this is really a valid TIFU, but here i go. I'm just not feeling very well and some relatives wanted me to take one of those ¡Health tests to make sure it wasn't covid. And the thing popped up positive pretty much immediately. I went to a music festival 4 days ago where pretty much 98% of people didn’t wear masks, and I didn’t either; so I pretty much believe that’s on me I've never been in that situation and I've been at my new job for literally just 1 week and 1 day. I don't know how they're gonna take the news after I inform my manager in a couple of minutes. I’ve also heard a lot of stuff about those rapid tests not being reliable. My uncle is 100% sure is positive and told me it is pointless to try another one of those rapid tests again because it will probably show positive again. I wish they would just ask me to work from home instead of just not showing up, because I don’t know what would be the action they are going to take and for me to work from home, would’ve take up to 4 months before they offer me a laptop or anything like that. I just started my probation time lol
This is just a silly TIFU, I’m sorry everyone
TL;DR I attended a music festival 4 days ago, tested positive for covid, I’ve been working only for a week at my new job, therefore I just started my 60 days probation so I don’t have the right to take sick days and I’m scared. Lol I already had covid last year btw
UPDATE: HR called me and said they’re sending me training material through my email so that I can still get paid for the days I’m not going to the office. They also sent the rest of the team to get tested and to work remotely and told me I could probably go back to the office on Monday wearing a face mask. I’m also getting a PCR test at a CVS today just to make sure.
Puppet_Master2501: You didn't fuck up. Getting sick with COVID or any disease isn't your fault. Tell them you tested positive and need to quarantine. If they give you shit for it, then fuck em. That'd be a sign of a toxic work environment and you tell them that you quit if they're not gonna value your health.
Rodnas1992: So going to a festival or whatever where everybody wasn't using mask Nad the guy didn't use one as well isn't his fault?
BrinnandeBajskassen: Oh yeah we all should just sit at home for the rest of our lives. Cmon.
Rodnas1992: Have I said that? No the dude just had to wear a mask
BrinnandeBajskassen: Doubt it wouldve helped
Rodnas1992: If he had used a mask then he could say he wasn't to blame
defNOTaBlueShirt: I thought you mask nazi types always said the mask is to protect others not yourself? So how would that have helped? Or are y’all back on a “the mask protects you” kick? It cracks me up that there are still people obsessed with masks out there, we’ve been done with that mask shit in Florida for like 18 months now.
Rodnas1992: And you antis are back to be idiots
dupontnotduopnt: They're not saying f masks, they're saying that we have to move on. Back when covid was a huge concern, this absolutely would have been his fault, but things have returned to basically normal. Masks are just not necessary anymore, and someone getting sick in the workplace is the same as how it's always been, so saying that OP is at fault would be blatantly ignoring the fact that we've almost entirely moved on from covid.
| 10 | 23.8 | |
1658884093 | 1658885777 | t3_w90sg1 | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a threesome
[deleted]
ExtremePast: Good copypasta. Read this same story on here months ago.
Nexus772B: Yup - wife and I thought the same. Even found the one we read 6 months ago [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/rvekhk/tifu_by_having_a_threesome_with_my_girlfriend_and/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
SmittyManJensen_: Wow same nicknames and everything. Lazy.
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1658887001 | 1658938788 | t3_w91u0k | t5_2to41 | 331 | throwaway1283947: TIFU by not closing my GF’s door
This one seems pretty self explanatory. My girlfriend and I were watching a movie just enjoying our time together when things began to get a little bit spicy. One thing to another and I am doing a little bit of hand work under the covers. Mid way through my mission I am face over hers about to kiss her when I hear a jokingly, “Get your face off of my daughters.” Now her father and I are fairly close but in a horrified, still knuckle deep stare I look up at him and he begins laughing. I am absolutely MORTIFIED as I believe he has just witnessed me fingering his daughter. He turns around, and as I have been their the last few days he asks “Don’t you have a home?” I jokingly reply something funny to get a laugh out of him and lemme tell you there is nothing more of a turnoff than your girlfriends father walking in on you knuckle deep in her. Needless to say we believe he will knock from now on and we should most likely close the door.
TL;DR My girlfriends father walked in on me knuckle deep in her and somehow didn’t notice.
Playful-Corner-7862: god please don’t give me a daughter 😰🙏
Honeypumpkin3754: why?
Playful-Corner-7862: Because if I were in the father’s situation, despite it being normal, I’d die of… don’t know, I’d just die. 😂
thisliterallysucks: what he said ^^ what if it were a girl going down on your son?
Otfd: Call me a sexiest if you want but it's not the same.. A daughter feels more innocent and in need of protection compared to a boy, probably because young boys want to stick their dick in everything, shit im in my 20's and still want to..
FreighterTot: You're right, you're sexist. Women like sex just as much as men. The "innocent" and "helpless" characterization takes away our personhood. We're not dolls. I'm sure you're a good person so please don't take this as a personal attack, just think about it.
BillyWonka710: Really think it’s not about who wants sex more but what they’ll do to get sex, being a man I can say we aren’t the most wholesome in our chase for sex, some of us can be down right cruel. While this is also true for women, men just seem to handle heartbreak differently and keep it hidden very well, whilst you can kinda see it in a girl..and who wants to see their child heartbroken. It’s kinda selfish protection
FreighterTot: That's sexist too. Men have feelings, men feel heartbreak. The idea that just because they feel like they need to be stoic, that they are totally fine is just the other side of the same sexist coin. In fact Id say that is what leads to this gross behaviour youre talking about.
If you have children, they will be exposed to pain, injury, and the dangers of the world. Both sons and daughters need protection and guidance.
You can have whatever opinions you want. Like I said I'm not trying to insult y'all's character. But those opinions are biased, so if you have an open enough mind to challenge them that's great. If you don't, that doesn't really matter to me.
Otfd: I totally disagree with your first point. I never had an issue embracing my feelings/emotions nor did I feel I needed to go the extra mile to be stoic as I was confident in who I am.
However, the length myself and other teenage boys would go for sex was 100x further then a our female peers. That's a fact.
FreighterTot: If you don't keep your feelings hidden, per the other person's comment, then my first point never applied to you. That is great that you are secure in yourself though!
| 11 | 30.090909 | |
1658884650 | 1659001337 | t3_w90zot | t5_2to41 | 87 | unoriginal707: TIFU by Using Air Freshener Infused Toilet Paper
This entire story is a little bit TMI but thinking back on it, it’s kinda funny. So I had to go to the bathroom while I was at work. I noticed that we were out of the big rolls of toilet paper that go in our holder on the wall, and instead had a normal little roll sitting on the holder. I didn’t think anything of it until I decided to wipe. When I wiped, I was greeted with the most unpleasant warm/burning feeling in my lower half. It wasn’t like excruciating pain, but it was enough for me to think that maybe we had a roll of scented toilet paper instead. Scented toilet paper has been the culprit of most of the UTI’s I’ve had and the toilet paper had a bit of a perfume-y scent, so I chalked it up to that and went on about my shift.
Probably an hour later, my manager comes out of the bathroom and asks me if I felt the previously explained sensation after I wiped. I’d completely forgotten about it, as I hadn’t really felt any pain or burning after going to the bathroom the first time, but being asked immediately brought the feeling back. I told her I did and lo and behold, she was holding one of those wall air fresheners.
It turns out that the air freshener had tipped over and leaked, dripping right on top of our one little roll of extra toilet paper. Every woman that works in our store had used said roll of toilet paper that day because it was about halfway used. I don’t know the medical aspect of this situation but with the way I’m feeling right now, I can only imagine that I’m going to end up with a wicked UTI.
TLDR: Air freshener leaked onto a roll of toilet paper at work and I wiped with it, so now I’m probably going to suffer through a UTI.
CottonCandyKitty21: If you start burning down there, use vagisil! I once gave myself some irritation down there by using cheap scented soap while washing up and made my lady buts raw. Vagisil will be a little uncomfortable at first but after a while it will make the burning stop.
unoriginal707: i actually feel fine today! i’ve had no issues so far and i’m really shocked about it. thank you so much for your advice though, i appreciate it :)
CottonCandyKitty21: You’re welcome! Glad to hear you’re feeling better :)
| 4 | 21.75 | |
1658888663 | 1658890836 | t3_w92gdd | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by jerking of in my sleep.
[deleted]
my__name__is: >a girl (16m)
How mysterious.
Jazzlike_Reaction_43: ??
comingled: The (16m) is the part they're confused about. You said girl, not 16 year old male
Jazzlike_Reaction_43: ahh makes sense thanks for the help
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1658893807 | 1658895787 | t3_w9490a | t5_2to41 | 4 | TARTSII: TIFU by taking 1600mg of ibuprofen
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MorelikeRPClipsGTGAY: Sounds like you got something going on other than the ibuprofen.
TARTSII: Oh no
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658891916 | 1658915181 | t3_w93m8f | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: tifu by shitting my pants for some free pot
[deleted]
Dan300up: What a story…I feel for you. At least you kind of made it home. I had a friend who had been having problems with his bowels, but ended up having an opportunity to have a fancy dinner date and a train ride with a girl from work he really liked. They ate at restaurant in a shopping complex where he had to excuse himself a couple of times during the meal to go evacuate the bowels. The third time he felt it coming, he was so embarrassed he said he tried his hardest to put it off…until he couldn’t. Right at the end of the meal he simply could wait anymore and excused himself a third time. But this time he didn’t make it. Got to the bathroom, did his thing and tried to clean up, but knew there was no way he could sit in a train with her, as he had made a mess of the inside of his pants and undies. Noticing a busy mens clothing store right across the hallway in the shopping centre, he went back to the table and asked her if she would mind waiting a few moments as there was something he wanted to pick up from the store.
He quickly ran over there and and as quick as he could, and in a total panic for them to make the train, grabbed a pair of pants similar to the ones he was wearing, a pair of underwear—and a sweater to keep in the bag after. His plan was to leave with her in a rush, and get to the bathroom of the train, change there, and all would be good. Got to the bathroom of the train, tore off his pants and and undies and threw them out the window. He then opened the bag only to realize there were no pants…he never did figure out what happened to them. He eventually tied the sweater around his waist and came out like that and told her exactly what had all happened. She thought it was hilarious.
Marcel___: omfg that poor man
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1658895566 | 1658899204 | t3_w94ugu | t5_2to41 | 85 | sing_a_rainbow: TIFU by booking my dream vacation through Agoda
I booked a hotel in Okinawa through Agoda. The hotel switched owners and began a renovation after I booked, but they didn't inform me.
As such, there are none of the promised amenities here - not even hot water! There are ants breeding in the bathroom. There is the sound of construction all day. To make matters worse, the beach which is covered in garbage is only accessible through an overgrown garden full of garbage, bugs, and rotting wood.
I planned to stay 8 more nights, but I cannot abide this place even one more day. My dream Okinawa vacation I saved for and planned for has been completely ruined!
Agoda has said that the vendor refuses to refund me, so that's the end of it. I have to pay for 8 more nights of this shithole even though I will NOT stay here.
**Tl;dr NEVER trust Agoda to have your best interests at heart. They only care about making their commission from property owners. Use a better app/website!**
Nlamstel: Dispute the charges. Take photos of the premises and say to your credit card company that the delivery was not complete.
sing_a_rainbow: But the problem is that I paid for the flight with the hotel together. How could the card company decouple them?
StephUhKneeDee: I helped my mom dispute a portion of our cruise vacation a couple of years ago. It’s not uncommon for a single purchase to contain multiple items. Use receipts/tickets to itemize the breakdown of the charge and in your dispute explanation, clarify that you are only looking for a partial reversal.
sing_a_rainbow: Thanks for the advice. I'll try.
StephUhKneeDee: I hope it works out for you!
| 6 | 14.166667 | |
1658894049 | 1658901612 | t3_w94buo | t5_2to41 | 3 | Speeritual: TIFU by engaging with a pretty girl.
I 15 male, am on vacation in a pretty packed tourist destination. It’s our last day at this hotel so we’re sitting by the pool. I’ve been left alone and have been exchanging glances with a pretty girl in the pool who was a little older than me. She comes up to me and asks for my snapchat. Soon after the girl (16f), leaves with her family. My mom is skeptical and thinks the girl is older than she looks. Growing up in that area, my mom knows all the deceptions people try to pull off there. Couple minutes after, they come back but the girl is wearing a DIFFERENT swimsuit. My mom is already talking to security (shes extremely overprotective). The girl and her parents are back in the pool, as my mom shows security where they’re sitting and explains how shady they are. A confrontation begins with back and forth arguing between parents. The mother shows security a high school ID, which I didn’t see but heard. But the who the hell carries a HS ID around with them on vacation at a resort, just to prove their age? Security ends up dealing with them and we leave. I don’t know what to believe since it all seems odd.
TL;DR: sketchy girl asks for my snapchat, security called
Medicalhuman: I thought the title meant you got engaged with a pretty girl
jbuckets44: Or "engaging with" a pretty girl i.e., shagging.
| 3 | 1 | |
1658890968 | 1658917443 | t3_w93a8i | t5_2to41 | 53 | Alainadoeslife: TIFU by breaking my car’s bumper cover clips
So today I (27NB) decided that I was gonna go to the farmer’s market in the next town over. The area that this is in is a busy neighborhood, and trying to find parking when an event like this is going on is a headache. I drove around for a while and FINALLY found a space that I could park in. I pull into it, and pulled too far forward, where my bumper was on top of the concrete things that are on the front of the parking spaces. I just thought it would be a little scratched, so i pulled out just a little bit. But when I did, i heard this noise, almost like a pop sound. I turn off the car to go inspect, and sure enough, the bumper is caught on the metal rod holding the concrete thing in place, and is coming off my car. I kinda panicked. The only thing i could think to do was get my bumper off this thing, and try to force it back into place. I kinda worked, but as I was driving home, it kept coming out of place, and would make this god awful sound while i was driving. I’m gonna have to take it to a body shop tomorrow, and hope this won’t cost too much.
Also, on mobile, so sorry about formatting.
Tl;dr I decided to go out today, parked in a parking space, got my car’s bumper stuck on the metal rod of the concrete thing, and now i need to take it somewhere to get it fixed.
kurokoccheerio: When my mom parks, she always pulls up till the bumper is on top of the concrete there. I legitimately mean always. Every day I hear the bumper scrape as she backs out of the parking spot and every night I hear the crunch as she pulls in till her wheels touch the concrete curb
Janpietklaas: Some people are unable to see these things. It's uncomfortable to stand by and notice what's so painfully obvious for you as a bystander
kurokoccheerio: This is true. However in my case, I'm in the car w her and lemme tell u, it's v loud every time and she isn't hard of hearing or anything. Just doesn't care about it I guess. At least it's not my car
Janpietklaas: One hell of a reason to never let her drive your car. 😃 One day her bumper must fall of right?
| 5 | 10.6 | |
1658899303 | 1658904171 | t3_w961ew | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU I thought kids these days knew what fuck buddies are
[removed]
nsmith0723: Yeah I would be pretty upset if an intimate partner was loaded up with spunk from someone else and had me unknowingly eating it. Pretty god damn nasty if you ask me just getting it as a suprise. That lifestyle is way to damn complicated if you ask me
JayThaGrappla: So the unknowingly part is what bothers you? If you knew it was a cream filled bowl of ass you'd be okay with it?
That being said... how the hell these kids don't know what fuck buddies are?!
nsmith0723: No I still wouldnt really be okay with it, that's fair. Who cares if they know what a F buddy is, it's clearly not the fucking elephant in the room
JayThaGrappla: Well OP should've been more open about not being exclusive. But I'm still baffled by people not understanding the idea of a fuck buddy when you're literally meeting someone just for sexual acts. How do you not know that you're not the only one they're doing this with? And if you get a mouthful of someone's baby batter because they didn't know there was filling inside the donut well...that's a fuckup that you should kind of be prepared for in a, what should be assumed, non-exclusive fuck buddy relationship.
nsmith0723: That's a fuck up that can literally kill somebody
JayThaGrappla: If it's STDs you're worried about..then he'll be fine. STDs can't be passed through oral. Lawyer buddy of mine had a case about this very subject and showed me the studies because I argued with her about it, yeah stupid me for arguing with a lawyer that won her case on this xD. If there were any open wounds in the mouth though, then it would be a problem.
CognizantCrocodile: You absolutely can pass on or contract an STD/STI from oral sex, and you do not need an open wound for it to happen.
You should’ve kept arguing with your friend because you were right
JayThaGrappla: These ones you speak of are ones that are spread from skin to skin contact and not ones transferred through bodily fluids. Herpes and the such are skin to skin contact. Were that the case, a trunk full of cum wouldn't be the culprit for spreading the STD/I. It would have simply been from his lips upon her brown eye.
The case she argued dealt exclusively with STDs passed through bodily fluids. So in that constraint she was correct.
CognizantCrocodile: The ones I speak of are things like Hepatitis B which is very well evidenced to spread through bodily fluids, such as semen
| 10 | 2.2 | |
1658893639 | 1659067994 | t3_w94734 | t5_2to41 | 4 | MCM_nut: TIFU by making QR codes
This started a little less than 2 weeks ago. I was making marketing materials for my business and decided to use QR codes. So, like anybody else, I Googled something like "QR code generator free." I click the first site that pops up. Looks legit, create an account for free, make my codes, and put them in my marketing materials, most of which I had professionally printed. Then I start getting emails from the QR code site explaining that my free trial is ending (when I signed up there was NO indication that I was in a free trial period). Today it clicks: those codes won't work unless I buy them. Duh, why didn't I realize this sooner?! At this point I have two options - either scrap all the stuff I ordered with the codes, or buy the damn things. I decided to buy the cheapest plan this company offers (it's about $130 paid annually.) I'm checking out and my debit card transaction doesn't work. No reason why. I then get a text from my bank stating that they detected fraudulent activity. Big red flag! So I take this as a sign to scrap everything. I researched the company a bit more and found out that they are legit, but they have terrible reviews. A lot of people got suckered like I did. So, in the end I deleted the QR codes I made, and I'm currently trying to permanently close my account. Of course I had to reach out to their help desk, who knows if that'll go anywhere. So, I'm pretty ticked at myself for not properly vetting this site and wasting time and money. Ugh.
TL;DR I was naive about making QR codes, chose a sketchy website, made marketing materials I can't use, lost money.
97screamingcacti: If you use Chrome you can make free QR codes by going to the webpage, clicking "share this page" on the far right side of the search bar, then clicking "create QR code"
MCM_nut: That's a terrific tip - thanks for sharing! Works like a charm.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1658901016 | 1658902083 | t3_w96k0c | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating a lot of beef
[deleted]
hills_for_breakfast: This is really just a “TIAALOB”. Maybe tomorrow it will be a “TIFU” (with the obligatory “didn’t actually happen today”)?
gymshorts2tight: “Today I accidentally ate lots of beef?”
hills_for_breakfast: Yes. That’s a thing, right?
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1658903919 | 1658904625 | t3_w97e8a | t5_2to41 | 16 | throwaway10120002111: TIFU A roomie[18M] just caught me[19M] "enjoying my quite time alone".
As the title suggest, this happens an hour ago. Usually, I thought he went out with the others, I would never quite anticipated that he will came back (he and I are sharing the same bedroom), I didn't have time to pulled up by the time door's wide open. Immediately, after noticing what was going on, he look away and close the door while I swiftly, as well as tried by my best not to get him notice, pulled up my pant. Fortunately, the only saving grace was that he was the only one there. The situation after this is very awkward. After a while, he came in to discuss with me about our courses related project. Then, he leaves. Now, I'm kind of embarrass by this, I skip my class today because of this, and I'm uncertain what will happen in the next few hours. In any case, I will keep you update by then.
TL;DR roommate caught me masturbating, now I'm uncertain what will happens next.
RosieQParker: You're two dudes sharing a bedroom. It'll get less awkward after the third or fourth time it happens.
rarlei: Maybe he will even offer a helping hand
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1658902417 | 1658908351 | t3_w96z61 | t5_2to41 | 1 | BrilliantHungry0: TIFU by putting myself in danger knowingly because I underestimated the situation
[removed]
generic-username0000: "Do you know the way to Bells Canyon?"
BrilliantHungry0: No?
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1658904282 | 1658967319 | t3_w97htn | t5_2to41 | 19,293 | lyscope: TIFU by refusing to give tea to a Chinese senator
I got a job at a fine dining sushi restaurant as what I hoped would be a casual summer job. Today in particular we closed at 10pm however this one particular table was still sitting around at 10:45pm with no intentions to leave soon and I just wanted to go home. Well this table asked for a tea refill and I said that we washed the teapot and I can give hot water instead. Well the guy sitting there got really pissed off at that and started telling me off in english, Japanese, and Chinese to really make sure I understood that I am wrong. The whole table was moderately drunk and I was pretty tired from working 10 hours so I just said I understand and walked away. I even made tea after and gave it to him anyways even though the teapot was already washed!
I guess he never gets told no though because he made the owner of the restaurant come to the table and bow and apologize. The restaurant owner told the Senator guy that this is his greatest shame in 20yrs opening this restaurant and even bowed on his knees. I honestly wasn’t about to bow and sincerely apologize over this because he was being so rude to me so I made a half assed apology and said I’m sorry you feel this way. This guy then proceeds to throw around our server trays and keep telling me off. He already paid the bill so he just left after.
I didn’t know that he was some millionaire Chinese senator come the the restaurant a couple times a year. The other servers told me later all this and that he’s always very drunk and rude but because he is so powerful and rich they just deal with it.
TLDR - I didn’t give a powerful politician customer tea the first time he asked and he threw a temper tantrum.
Edit: Wow thank you for 9k upvotes I woke up this morning to 300 notifications! Reading the comments made me feel better after such a bad shift and I am happy to say I quit today and will be enjoying the rest of my summer as a break. Actually a couple hours after I told them I quit they said I'm fired for this; so uno reverse card?
There are a lot of comments about how this post/I am racist I just wanted to say that this interaction does not represent all Chinese people in fact I am Chinese and rich assholes is not segregated to one race. Any race can be an asshole, for this post I was just describing him as I was pretty phased to find out such a powerful person was angry at me. Also a lot of comments are trying to find this guy so some description I have is he is pretty tall (~5'11?), lanky, with glasses, and with almost shoulder length curly hair. My coworkers told me they forgot his name but said he was "part of the Chinese senator's dinner". But I can't find him anywhere and honestly it's fine I don't need to find him, I'm not working there anymore.
SnowSlider3050: IMO the owner should have given staff a heads up about this guy and asked for volunteers to stay and cater to VIPasshole for extra pay.
[deleted]: Agreed 100% Depending on the industry, some customers may make up a large percentage of your revenue, be able to make your life miserable, or do serious damage to the reputation of the business. If that's the case, you handle them yourself. Otherwise, you put your best sales/account manager/customer service rep, etc on it. Someone skilled with thick skin who understands the situation and us compensated accordingly. Some customers are important enough that losing them will seriously contract your business, maybe reduce headcount, get other customers to stop using you. Of course some customers, despite their importance, are more trouble than they are actually worth. They cost you head count, other customers, don't generate any profit. In which case, you have to protect your business. Be ready to go after _their_ reputation with leaked videos, be ready to mitigate their power by showing they will bring embarrassment to their party/company, go after _their_ livelihood with criminal or civil charges, especially when they are doing something or asking for something illegal, dangerous, or something that would damage the reputation of the business. In which case, they should _only_ be handled by the top level because that is likely a business-ending fight.
Some customers just need to be politely encouraged to use your competitors instead.
UnfinishedProjects: I used to work at a very popular BBQ restaurant and once a year this old folks home would all come. They were all nice enough, but there was always over 100 of them and they would always only tip like $50-$100. For 2-3 servers that had to tip out also, it was not good. The owner didn't care and took them every time because they always paid their bill in full. Everyone would always try to call out that day.
bitey87: That party's an auto-gratuity if I ever saw one.
DrDew00: When I was a server, policy was an automatic 18% gratuity on parties of 8 or more.
dominus_aranearum: Many years ago, I invited extended family to a lunch at Claim Jumper. Maybe 15 - 20 people? I got the receipt, tacked on about 15% - 20% for a tip. It was only later that I realized there was an automatic gratuity on the receipt/bill. Oops.
McGarnagl: Servers love it when this happens. 🤑
PeterGazinya: I feel that it is intentionally misleading when your server does not tell you that the tip is already included, having worked in restaurants when I was young.
lysergic_feels: When I was a server we would intentionally try to get the double grat by like folding the receipt to hide the part that listed the auto gratuity… definitely not ethical
ku-fan: I'm guessing karma will (or already has) catch up to you for that
Justforthenuews: Coold it catch up to people abusing political positions, people who are guilty of sex trafficking, rapists, and corporate assholes that put money before lives before fucking with the rest of us already?
ku-fan: Magic 8 Ball says "not likely"
not_so_magic_8_ball: Cannot predict now
| 14 | 1,378.071429 | |
1658907322 | 1658945203 | t3_w98c2a | t5_2to41 | 2,623 | EnvironmentalDig9431: TIFU by falling for the girl I rejected
Ok so a little back story, I (15m) met this girl, we call her T. T (15f) and I met at a movie night at our school through a mutual friend. The first time I saw her all I could think of is "who is this and how have I never seen her before" she was (and still is) the most beautiful girl I have ever met. We instantly hit it off and it seemed like we knew eachother for years. After a night of hanging out we left and I texted my friend asking for her number. Once I got it, it felt like I was finding a way to talk to her any chance I got. She would wait for me after school and we would walk to the bus I rode and she would continue on walking to meet with her mom. That 5 minutes after school was the only thing on my mind every day. She had a lot of friends (80% of them were guys that liked her) so I guess that's why we never hungout during school but that was mainly because I was a pussy. After months of us talking and FaceTiming every night and hanging out. She made it very obvious she wanted a relationship with me. She was so outgoing and fearless and "advanced" and my dad has multiple failed relationships that put him in deep shit. So I guess you could say. It scared me, so, what do I do when she tells me she wants to be in a relationship with me. I get scared and tell her I can't because "she's not Christian" I am still kicking myself for this till this day and not a day goes by where I don't think of it. But after 3 months of no contact we finally reconnected and now I'm starting to fall for her again. But I think it's far to late for me to salvage anything. I'm sure she'll hate me for ever and never give me another chance because she is a very strong person and doesn't take no shit from no one. So I think I secured my spot in the friend zone for ever
TL;DR I made an excuse to not date a girl I liked and it hurt her a lot. Now I have feeling for her but think I’m in the friend zone forever
UPDATE: so, I havnt done it… I’m at the Grand Canyon and have been busy and she’s out doing stuff with friends so I thought it might be better to do it in person anyway. But the bad news is I get back Sunday so unless it’s better to do it over text. You all have to wait till Monday. Let me know what I should do.
ALSO idk if it’s sone weird hint she’s trying to get across but she keeps playing a song that has lyrics saying “you’ll never hear from me again go cry yourself to sleep” so 🤷🏻 if it is that’s pretty odd to me but we’ll see
Shay_420: Honestly if she doesn't have a bf now or is dating someone else, give it another try! Just tell her straight up what was up and how you felt then and now. I am sure she just thinks it's cute and respects that you telling her now, cuz that shows courage!
EnvironmentalDig9431: Thank you! I think about it all the time honestly but I don’t wanna ruin the friendship but I think imma just do it anyway 🤷🏻
Shay_420: Yhhh just go for itttt, pls do update us on what happens :)
Also I don't think it will ruin the friendship, stuff like this happened to me a few times and I am still very great friends with them regardless of it not being mutual.
EnvironmentalDig9431: I’ll do it tomorrow or sometime within the next couple days and post an update, thanks!
Substantial-Tax-6250: !UpdateMe
marshmallow57892: !UpdateMe
Shinig4mi0mega: !UpdateMe
friendgroupmom: How does !updateme work???? I want to get the update!! Sorry. New to Reddit
Substantial-Tax-6250: I think you just reply „!UpdateMe“ in response to OP‘s comment (maybe post too?)
| 10 | 262.3 | |
1658907729 | 1658916829 | t3_w98fzw | t5_2to41 | 8 | sunnysparklesmile: TIFU by not going to a doctor sooner and now I'm laying an egg
[removed]
RudeSprinkles1240: "One of those little tubes in?"
I'm sorry. I really have no clue what you're talking about. Could you please elaborate?
sunnysparklesmile: Single dose anti fungal cream tube!
MoonageDayscream: Where exactly did you stick it? Antifungal? Which one?
sunnysparklesmile: It gets inserted into your canal. I couldn't tell you the chemical name
RudeSprinkles1240: Ooooooh. Okay. I've never had a vaginal yeast infection.
Edit: miconozole, maybe?
| 6 | 1.333333 | |
1658908706 | 1658927856 | t3_w98p3r | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a guy his dad was basically an A-hole
[deleted]
joescott2176: Cut your losses and move on. No one needs to deal with that kind of parent in a relationship.
Ijoinedtolaugh: Oh he's not my boyfriend. He's just a guy I met amd was really looking forward to spending time with. I found out that he asked my friend out this morning while I was talking to her on the phone. She rejected him and I was cracking up. He was just trying to talk to me. I wasn't looking to date him just really hang out because he's fun and I love to laugh. So it didn't bother me. However, he did make advances at me but I kinda brushed them off. His dad works at the same job just a different position. We were actually gonna hang out at his job at the olace his dad works and I did feel a little uncomfortable about it. I went by myself yesterday and didn't see him (his dad) and the energy was sooo much better. I just realized maybe I am too honest. Maybe I shouldn't have said so much because it is "his" dad.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1658912959 | 1658917523 | t3_w99tmt | t5_2to41 | -5 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my best friend
[deleted]
IsaacQqch: It's not your fault.
You are single, he's with someone. He's the one who is wrong.
You're not the shitty person, he's.
You deserve better.
haydevrz: This. He is the one who should be setting boundaries and respecting his relationship. Of course you decide if you want to engage with people with partners but it's in him to cheat.
DragonClash101: Stupid take. OP slept with the guy while knowing that he is attached, what did she think was gonna happen? She knew that someone was gonna get hurt from this. She even hopes that the guy will choose her. Despite this, you think that OP is not at fault at all? Clearly you have your ass on your head instead of a brain. Newsflash, it's NOT OK for OP to decide if she wants to engage with people that already have partners. If the guy is behaving like this, eventually he will destroy his own relationship, but OP has to make sure that she isn't part of the problem. Instead, OP chose to continue hanging out with him and tempt him further. There's a word for these kind of people, we call them vixens.
When your moral compass is fucked, don't go around encouraging other people to behave like you.
| 4 | -1.25 | |
1658921027 | 1658925107 | t3_w9c5e1 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU eating unknown pills at school
[deleted]
technicolored_dreams: Tldr: there's advice and some good websites at the bottom that will give you enough knowledge so you have no excuse to ever take another mystery pill. There's also a whole lot of warnings from someone with extensive recreational drug experience. Please read it.
For a lot of reasons, that was a bad idea. It could have been a dangerous drug, it could have been something you were allergic to and did not know, you could have easily been caught at any of the activities you mentioned and ended up facing legal charges, it could have been something homemade that had effects you haven't even realized yet, the school could have caught you and expelled you, you could have passed out somewhere dangerous and been raped/kidnapped/woke up with no kidneys.
You don't do unknown drugs by yourself, and you don't take things you don't understand. If you had started to OD, you wouldn't have been able to tell a medical pro what you took. That's a really bad idea. You also could have ended up absolutely anywhere, with anyone. Always have a babysitter if you're going to be impaired.
You truly shouldn't be messing with recreational pharma at your age at all because it really will impact your brain. I know plenty of people who burned themselves out on daily recs and hallucinogens and will never be right. Pharma are dangerous recreationally for adults, and much more so for teens.
NEVER TAKE ANOTHER MYSTERY PILL, EVER AGAIN. Again, that shit is wildly dangerous. There is a [pill identifier site](https://www.drugs.com/imprints.php) where you can put in the shape, color, and imprint from any legit pill and it will tell you what kind it is and what dose it is. ***If it's not on pillfinder, it's homemade and you absolutely should not take it.*** Then you can take the name from pillfinder and go to a different website, [erowid](https://www.erowid.org/) to read about what that drug is, how it works, dosages, and other people's first hand experiences with it. Again, you shouldn't be doing this at all at your age, and I say that as a person who is concerned for your brain, not someone who thinks aLl dRuGs R BaD.
D00m_shroom: I always have respect for those spreading awareness about erowid.that site saved my life as a stupid teenager.all should learn to research a substance thoroughly before ever thinking about consuming it 👍
Drugs deserve much more respect than most people give and unfortunately most people learn that lesson the hard way
| 3 | 3 | |
1658920571 | 1658995133 | t3_w9c04t | t5_2to41 | 12 | Waving_Home: TIFU by sending a female friend a song
So this all started last night when my girlfriend took me to a concert. She had bought tickets since we both have one cheesy song we absolutely love from this guy and apparently the tickets were cheap so she figured, why the hell not. The concert turned out to be amazing, the room contained around 50 people at best so it turned into a small gig. The artist was an amazing singer, had a really good sense of humor, was in touch with his feelings without being korny and filled almost every break by telling the backstory of the song. So far 10/10.
Now at one song in particular he told the story of how he had made a song for a female friend. It turned out she was in an not-so-amazing relationship and he told her how he felt like she was accepting "weak love" in comparison to what she gave to the other person. She told him that she lives for love and would rather have weak love than no love at all. After some time went by however, she broke off the relationship. When he asked her if she found someone new to love so he could give the backstory to the song a happy ending she said "I learned to love myself."
Now this is where I was reminded of a good female friend of mine who I felt like was in a similiar situation. She's a good friend who I've known for around 6 years now, we'll call her Emilee. Now Emilee has been in a relationship for around 1 year. When the relationship started getting serious he sat her down and told her that he had cheated in the past. They had some talks about it and decided to continue the relationship. Cue to around 6 months later and a friend of ours found out he had cheated on her, multiple times. Apparently he had kissed two girls on two different occasions. He also tried to have sex with another girl but when they walked into his bedroom the girl asked if he had a relationship. He replied with something along the lines of "Yes but it'll be fine, don't worry about it." The girl then backed off and nothing happened that night. When Emilee heard this she broke it off with him. However this turned out to be a break as they got back together 3 months later. Now cue to another 5 months later and he cheated again by kissing another girl in front of his house after a party. He told Emilee that "she came on to him." Meanwhile Emilee has been trying to make the relationship work the whole time while dealing with her insecurities. She is now thinking about starting an open relationship.
So this is where the fuck up starts. Now Emilee already had some struggles in the past with friends of her just shitting on her relationship. After the concert was over I thought about how the song was applicable to Emilee's situation and I wanted to send it to her. I thought I had filmed part of the song with the intro speech but turns out I didn't. So my brilliant ass decided it would be smart to just send her the song off Spotify, with absolutely no context other than basically "Had a concert last night. Dude was amazing. He made this one song for a female friend of his, reminded me of your situation."
Now let me tell you, the song with zero context is pretty damn harsh. Here I was getting the whole "taking care of your friends, wishing the best for them" vibes due to his long introduction to the song, meanwhile she was getting a "fuck your relationship, why are you even together?" vibe. Needlessly to say, she was not amused.
TL;DR Thought I sent a friend a song about how she deserves better in her relationship with zero additional context. Came across as a "fuck your relationship" song.
Apprehensive_Cut_868: I’m just really intrigued about which artist you went to see?
haunterdog: I agree and would also like to know the song name?
DanceGuevaDance: JP Saxe - For Emilee
| 4 | 3 | |
1658925477 | 1658925726 | t3_w9dogd | t5_2to41 | 0 | domskii_uhh: TIFU BY FUCKING MY BEST FRIENDS MOM
[removed]
justhappytobeheretbh: r/TIHI
domskii_uhh: No worries
| 3 | 0 | |
1658926737 | 1658927127 | t3_w9e4ld | t5_2to41 | -27 | thepureuser: TIFU by letting my brother's wife cheat on him with me
[removed]
Maleficent-Sundae264: How could you do this to your own brother? You're a home wrecker. And family wrecker too. You need to be honest with him asap. You destroyed his life.
thepureuser: He doesn't know yet
Maleficent-Sundae264: Tell him ASAP. The sooner you tell him the sooner he will heal
thepureuser: But no damage is done
solstice_gilder: That you say this .. just wait it will come out. This is beyond a f u. This is the mother of your nephew? The woman your brother married? How can you look your brother in the eye. Gross.
| 6 | -4.5 | |
1658926839 | 1658929029 | t3_w9e69f | t5_2to41 | 50 | Wiggly_tomato: TIFU by my gf and her mother nearly dying after I caught her cheating
(TW) The caption can be misleading so let me explain the backstory:
Not too comfy going into detail but here's the rundown, Me and my gf (both 14+ & under 18 but same age) have been dating for 17 months. l'm very close with her family so her mom invited me on a beach vacation to a state 8 hours away for about 3 weeks to where they used to live. My mother doesn't approve so my f leaves without me however we are in touch in entire time.
She comes home and for a week it all seems normal until her cousin and sister spill the beans about her cheating, she somehow managed to manipulate them into convincing me that what they told me was a lie. I bought it because her whole family was assuring me that she didn't cheat.
I eventually found the guy that her cousin told me about on social media and it was all true, I found out after I saw the flirting in the comment section and matching profile pictures. This really caught me off guard as my girlfriend has always been the extremely loyal and possessive type.
I demand her Snapchat code and after some digging it was evident she tried to hide the 47 attachments and 10 minute screen recordings of her cheating. Seeing that destroyed my soul and was so painful to see, especially after she strictly denied my suspicions over and over.
So l do what any reasonable boyfriend would do, scold her and prepare to dumb her, that ended in her attempted s001c1d3. Her mother was in the same ER she was sent to and her mother accused me of believing gossip, so obviously I showed her the proof, knowing damn well she's under a lot of stress already and... Her mother has a heart attack.
Her mother knew she cheated but didn't know it was this bad. I never intended for anything bad to happen to either of them! I knew her mother was having surgery and still decided to show her the proof, and now everything's going downhill. Her mom went through her phone and found out we've had a strong sexual relationship and now the family is threatening to show people and post the sex tapes and now me any my girlfriend aren't allowed to see each other anymore.
After all of this we are still together, it's just I don't know what to do from here. Any advice? How do I fix it? I know she cheated but I fucked up in return and ruined her family's trust (unintentionally) and put myself in a position to where me and my girlfriends tapes and nudes could be exposed, so I've decided to stay with her. I just really wanna know what the internet and Reddit people think.
(Sorry if I said smth wrong btw I don't use Reddit)
TL;DR I caught my girlfriend cheating after she strongly hides and denies it, I tell her mom and try to breakup with her… and put both of their lives at risk
EDIT: She just admitted to giving him oral sekks and kissing as well as partake in other things of that nature with him behind my back.
Notacooter473: Her family it threatened to post a recording of underage kids having sex.... that is guaranteed prison time right there...even being in possession of such material is illegal (even if it's your own stuff)...the entire situation sounds toxic...dump the cheat, destroy any illegal records you have, and learn your lesson.
UnadvertisedAndroid: This. Those videos and photos are illegal no matter who has them.
OP: Dump your **extremely emotionally manipulative** GF and let her family know that you have reported them to the police for possessing child pornography plus threatening you with it. I think you should do this because if they think of it, and report you for having it first, you're screwed, so get ahead of them and be the one to report it.
| 3 | 16.666667 | |
1658926360 | 1659010171 | t3_w9dzv0 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by failing a very light bench.
[deleted]
waffleiron-man: I think most people have lifted to failure. when lifting without a spotter don't put collars on bar so you can tip the bar and drop off weights. Learn to do roll of shame to get bar off you hurts like a bitch but beats dieing.
iNJae99: Second this. But also OP was on a smith machine. Can't really tilt the bar or roll it off yourself.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1658929385 | 1658929747 | t3_w9f4yf | t5_2to41 | 27 | New_Bag_3428: TIFU by trying golf for the first time.
First ever post, happened yesterday.
Sorry for format issues, written on my phone.
My best friend (28 M) called me (29 M) up about a week ago to go golfing. We set up a tee time for 5pm after work yesterday. I’m all excited because I’ve gone to the range a bunch (range, Top Golf, Drive Shack, etc.) and am really getting into the idea. My wife (27 F) is really cool about letting me try out golf so I can get outside a bit and pick up a hobby. Our son (2 M) is with my in-laws so my wife can go out with friends and also have time to herself. Life is good.
Tee time comes around, my buddy is apparently running late but hasn’t messaged or called me yet. I get nervous about how the tee time works, so I pay for his round. He’s still not here and I’m on the first tee box, but he tells me to start and he’ll meet me at another tee box. I think, whatever and swing away. I’m now four holes in, friend still not here and I’m getting aggravated at all things golf. So, in my mind, I say “fuck golf I’m going home.” I return the cart, bring my new clubs to my car, and head home.
Get home and find that my wife’s still at home. I’m like “cool, someone to vent to” so I head inside. I apparently hadn’t paid attention to the fact that my friend’s car is also outside, because I walk in on them both stark naked on the couch. Didn’t know the cost of golf was $100, a divorce, and a 25-year-long friendship. FML
TLDR: tried golfing for the first time, got mad because golf is hard, went home to my best friend and my wife boning, getting a divorce.
Zealousideal_Metal56: Wow! The most I ever lost on the course was my temper.....
My condolences!
New_Bag_3428: Thanks, not sure how I really feel about golf yet because first impressions aren’t everything. But I’m sure it won’t bring back fond memories…
Zealousideal_Metal56: Maybe try bowling, instead? Lol
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1658928820 | 1658944356 | t3_w9exau | t5_2to41 | 147 | TheWorstTypo: TIFU when I thought I won over a difficult exec and then insulted him.
I’ve been at this job for almost 5 months. Great job with a really good and well known company
Im an HRBP Director so as usual I have to spend a great deal of time building relationships, showing value, demonstrating I know how businesses work while onboarding.
I was assigned to the Marketing and Data businesses. I have 7 execs altogether - 3 SVPs and 4 VPs
Most of them are really great and I’ve been able to get some good headway with them and they are involving me and I’m watching the trust build naturally as I learn their orgs and start to build talent strategies and workforce modeling plans- but there is one I just clash with.
Let’s call him Andy.
From the start Andy treated me more like a dumping ground waiter instead of a business partner. In our first meeting it was basically “all of our employees are underpaid and you need to fix that” and just this general condescending “you aren’t worth my time attitude”
We got into a heated debate 2 months in because he wanted to change all of his employees to “managers” in title only as a way to employer them. I explained how this idea May not be wise as it’s not true promotions and the title of Manager had a distinct meaning at this company and doing this was a fake way to develop people.
He discovered he had the ability to change peoples external titles through Workday and sent me the list of his employees asking me to update their titles to Manager and help him come up with a comms plan. He didn’t like my disagreeing with him and escalated it to my boss and his boss (to be fair he wasn’t a jerk about it - just asked for their opinon)
Both were on my side and my boss encouraged me to work with him on a better org design and how to really develop his people - but ever since then he’s just been really cold and dismissive and seems to take an almost childish delight when I don’t know something or make a mistake
I discovered some interesting metrics in his attrition and during my last 1/1 with him showed him what I found. I could tell he was impressed and for the first time we had a really good conversation.
He decided to show me one of his plans for an org on his computer and our 1/1 went 30 min over from a great convo.
At the end of the meeting he closed the ppt and I could see his screen saver, a picture of his wife and children in the snow together. One older daughter, maybe 13 and a younger son maybe 8.
I commented that it was a great picture and like any proud Dad he beamed and told me about the ski trip.
I said his daughter looked like a professional skier and complimented the photo
There was a few beats of complete silence and then a cold: “Um- that’s my SON. He just has long Hair”
One step forward, 10 steps back.
TL/DR- in a meeting with a difficult exec, I thought I made progress until I referred to his son as a daughter
AchingKnumbKnuts: That sucks, but that's nothing. I once mistook a guy's wife as his son in a picture on his desk.
TheWorstTypo: Lol is this TIFU or “lemme top your story!@ sub - jk- wow that’s bad
enehar: To be fair, your FU isn't bad at all. People make that mistake constantly.
But it did remind me of a conversation I was having with a guy when I was a bartender. He was telling me a story about a time on his boat. Something about topless women, idk. At one point he mentioned his daughter but I didn't quite catch it. He wasn't connecting his dots very well. A few sentences later and I asked him a question that had something to do with the topless women. He lost his shit because he thought I was asking him how attracted he was to his topless daughter.
TheWorstTypo: Haha awesome story
While I recognize it wasn’t a serious FU - it was to me because of all the progress we made and it just being a silly mistake I could’ve avoided
enehar: That's his fault for being an insufferable and unreasonable excuse for a professional. You would have lost his trust again the moment you sneezed into your shoulder and didn't change your shirt right away.
TheWorstTypo: Do you think that would work! 😜
But seriously - telling other people that their experiences “aren’t a big deal” can be kind of dismissive
| 7 | 21 | |
1658932221 | 1658942391 | t3_w9g9tl | t5_2to41 | 11 | OppositeInner6794: TIFU by getting mad at the girl I'm in love with
she hasn't spoken with me all day today, and I'm scared she's never going to speak with me again.
we had been friends off and on for about a year, and every time we started up talking again it was for longer and we seemed closer, until finally I fell for her.
both of us have our past traumas that we've been dealing with, but I found happiness with her and she said she was happier with me too. however? due to her past experiences with dating she isn't comfortable with dating just yet. I had made it very clear that I wanted a relationship with her, and she said she felt the same but for now we would remain friends.
last night though, she admitted that she text her ex in a drunken dare, and that she had been talking to other guys as well. I don't know how exactly she meant it cause she said she wasn't interested in them at all, and all the cute and lovey stuff that we do together she doesn't do with anyone else. but I took it as I was just another guy in the pile for her to choose from.
I got mad and told her that I won't compete for her and if I wasn't the only option I didn't want to be an option at all. I've felt like shit all day. the signs that she likes me just as much as I like her are all there but now there are just as many signs that say I don't mean anything to her.
I don't know what to think, or do. I had an anxiety attack just thinking about it. I'm fine being her friend, we have so much fun together. it's her life I don't get to tell her how to live it but the thought that I was just another source of flirty conversation when she meant so much to me just won't get out of my head.
this is probably to vent, probably for advice, idk but it's driving me crazy
TL:DR got mad at her for admitting to doing something due to past issues, now im scared she might not talk to me again
drkrthnthspeedofliht: If you like her you can't just be friends with her. That's not good for either of you. Not sure why should we tell you she is talking to her ex and other guys. May be to make you jealous. Who knows. But I do know the only person watching out for you is you. Do what is going to protect you best and if she's playing games then that is better left alone.
Hopeful_Bit1733: Amen. I learned that one the hard way.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1658932749 | 1658998625 | t3_w9ghcj | t5_2to41 | 60 | [deleted]: TIFU by reading my bfs old messages
[deleted]
Level-Candidate-5821: Okay, I have some questions because I see some HUGE red flags. - And for background, I used to be a volunteer in a prison working with Sexual Offenders. First - does he have an age preference?
2nd - Were you about the same age as the girls he is sexting/texting when you met?
3rd - If you know the girls are minors that he is sexting, are you comfortable sharing that with authorities or if you know the girls, their parents. Could you get proof of it to share?
As a heads up, the predators in prison usually have a preferred age range and they dump those who “age out” so if you’re getting to the top of his age band, marriage is probably not a good idea.
Cutiepirl: 1. He doesn't really has a age preference apparently. There were girls that were older than him and girls that were minors or just younger. Some were 16 and everything was legal (still weird but legal here). Only this one was a minor.
2. He was 27 and I was 21/22
3. I don't know if this would do anything because it was almost 5 years ago. They just send nudes. There wasn't much dirty talk and he doesn't have the nudes anymore. So it would be illegal if he still had her pictures but he doesn't
That's what I thought too. What if I get older. Will I get dumped if I am in my thirties... He had a good friend that is in his fortys who prefers 18 year old woman and he never said anything when I ranted about that. But he never says something when I rant about anything so I didn't think about it much.
Level-Candidate-5821: Okay with that info, you didn't FU. But you may be dodging a bullet. A man who keeps dirty texts from old relationships is telling you those still mean something to him. Are you 💯 sure they were old? Could he still be seeing some of these people? We trust people longer than we should in most cases.
Kathy_TV: I wouldn't say that. Just because someone does not delete all messages from Instagram, it doesn't mean they mean anything. I didn't even know you could delete old Instagram messages, for example, why should I expect a partner to do this
Just randomly starting to read old private messages of my SO however is something I would never dream of doing. Especially without asking. That feels wrong.
| 5 | 12 | |
1658938158 | 1660604751 | t3_w9iqby | t5_2to41 | 9,158 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my boss a RedBull
[deleted]
JuicySecret56: Wow sometimes people with adhd calm down with a Red Bull or monster, it can put them to sleep
ETA: I never expected so many responses to this 😂. I know everyone is different and reacts differently to caffeine or any stimulant
PyroTechniac: Caffeine is a stimulant, the same category as Adderall and some other drugs used to treat it, I fall asleep with half drank sodas on my nightstand a lot
Datapunkt: you drink soda after brushing your teeth?
PyroTechniac: I am a man of sheer will
Beachywhale: Drink diet at least. You will regret it if you're drinking soda w/sugar
supersecretaqua: I'm sure you're all researched up on aspartame and other substitutes used in what you're suggesting huh
:)
Beachywhale: Just seeing this now. Aspartame is the most studied food additive in the world. The FDA knows more than your blog research
supersecretaqua: No one said it was dangerous you fuckin weirdo. You just simply and quite literally said you'd regret not drinking it. Which is ***wrong***
Beachywhale: Because the dude is destroying his teeth. No need to get so aggressive, just read the comments above.
Just trying to help, I deal with this type of regret everyday and unfortunately by the time people try get help it's often not possible to fix or financially out of reach.
supersecretaqua: Then tell them to drink water. Your suggestion literally isn't better.
Beachywhale: Yeah it actually is. That's the point I'm trying to make. You will have less health problems drinking diet than loads of sugar soda (diabetes, obesity etc).
I know it's easy to sit behind a keybaord and think you know everything from casually browsing the internet but you don't. Someday you will (may?) look back on things that you were so certain of and realize you were wrong. You are not smarter than people who spend their whole lives studying medicine and science.
| 12 | 763.166667 | |
1658938155 | 1659128447 | t3_w9iqak | t5_2to41 | 1,574 | Stalkerbob123: TIFU by telling my boyfriend I don’t want him to be happy
So my boyfriend and I have been living together for over a year and regularly remind each other that we care a lot about each other and each others happiness.
I’m one of those people who will swap letters of different words while talking. The most recent memory of this was my asking if he had ever heard a giss hoose (goose hiss) though I definitely do this on the regular.
July 23 (as I was KINDLY reminded yesterday) we were talking and I was trying to express my wish for him to be happy and that while I know he wants me to be happy, I don’t want that at the expense of his happiness.
In saying various things across these lines and trying to say I don’t want him to be unhappy trying to make me happy and I want him to be happy, the sentence that came out was: “I don’t want you to be happy.”
I have been reminded of this every day since either in the form of “at least I want you to be happy” or “you don’t want me to be happy” more than once. I know he’s teasing but I don’t know how long this will be my cross to bear.
TLDR: In trying to say “I want you to be happy” and “I don’t want you to be unhappy trying to make me happy” I straight up said “I don’t want you to be happy”
Badhaase: Once my wife decorated the wrong day in her daily planner and sent me the picture of it saying can't wait until our anniversary. I then had to tell her that was the wrong day. After 6 years I still remind her every once in a while.
IronFilm: > I then had to tell her that was the wrong day.
You could have kept quiet and got to celebrate TWO anniversaries! (assuming she'd picked a date which was ***before*** your real anniversary)
BuzzedtheTower: But then he'd have missed out on being technically correct. Which is the best kind of correct
Pehrgryn: Spoken like the man who chaired the committee to review the possibility of changing the color of the rules binder.
BuzzedtheTower: I chose to keep it grey
Pehrgryn: I regret that I have but one upvote to give.
| 7 | 224.857143 | |
1658938820 | 1658940881 | t3_w9j0mg | t5_2to41 | 138 | ardamayne: TIFU by powdering my balls
This happened a while ago, but recent life events necessitated this be made public.
We all know that bathroom cabinets contain hazards, and I'm not talking about cleaning chemicals. We've all gotten shampoo in our eye, we all know conditioner is slippery as greased ice on a tile floor. Even the innocuous and famously self-cleaning soap- not even considering soap's well-known hazards of injury by slipping, illness by accidental ingestion, or non-roped variants precipitating surprise sodomy. My wife has taken to buying hand made bars of body soap from the local co-op, which smell nice and rinses satisfyingly clean- a lot of cheaper or commercial soaps leave a weird filmy feel on my skin that I hate. However, these fancy co-op soaps are made in a big sheet and cut into blocks rather than poured into molds, so the edges of fresh bars of soap are damn sharp. Thus, I am **convinced** I will slice my ballsack clean open whenever I am forced to use a new bar. This is a perfectly rational and evolutionary fear.
But there is one item in my bathroom cabinet that probably isn't in most, and generally isn't considered a hazard to health and safety. Corn starch.
To properly explain this, I have to share something else. In short, there is a reason the doctor tells you to keep a wound clean and dry, though they should emphasize the "dry" part more.
I am, as you may have surmised, (rightly) concerned about my external genitalia and sleep in boxers and pajama pants instead of nude. No shirt, because that'll strangle me in my sleep as surely as the soap will castrate me in the shower. Living in ~~fear~~ a northern climate, during the winter months it is eminently desirable to hop out of a warm shower, towel off, throw on flannel pajamas, and get in bed. Not many things in life can compare to clean sheets when you're fresh out of the shower- 10/10 would recommend. Therefore I am not exactly waiting around to air-dry the nether regions. Unfortunately, karma means we humans must pay a price for small comforts such as this, and eventually I developed some sort of sore in an area one really does not want to develop sores in- right where the upper thigh meets the sack. Both sides. I asked my wife to inspect the problem, and her sharp intake of breath through clenched teeth let me know immediately it looked worse than it felt... and it didn't feel too great. After patiently explaining that I cannot continue to throw soggy balls into flannel pants, she recommended neosporin to protect the affected area for a couple days and then switch to applying corn starch to keep it dry until it heals. She knows about such things- she's basically a witch and has an expansive herb garden- so that's exactly what I did. She even put a little glass jar of it up in the bathroom for this purpose. It worked a treat and the problem cleared up within a week or so. While she meant this as a temporary solution, it worked so well I continue the practice to this day. The issue has not recurred even after I resumed the cardinal sin of UPS- immediate application of flannel to improperly dried packages. My wife hasn't commented, and seems to be okay with it as long as I don't apply from the larger cooking-use container in the kitchen- learned that after some difficulty that involves aggressive eye contact, a pile of corn starch I had to clean up off the kitchen floor, and me going out to buy a new container of it the next day. So I keep that little jar of corn starch up in the bathroom, and since I have a nice labeler, it even bears the warning "Processed in a facility that also processes nuts". Because allergies.
This brings us to the incident. One evening before bed, finishing up in the bathroom after a quite normal shower, I put my electric toothbrush on the charger and reached for my jar of corn starch. To facilitate access, I squat like I'm practicing for an Eastern European Adidas commercial. I don't teabag the jar- application requires a finer touch- so the jar is open on the counter and I steady myself with my left hand while my right hand is busy... applying. Coating the cherries. Battering the chicken nuggets. Dusting the danger zone. Frosting the cupcakes. You get the idea.
Just then, I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and kind of turn, expecting the door to open and wanting to get clear of the door's swing. Instead, as my wife was apparently in a huge rush to use the facilities I occupying, the wooden door I was trying to avoid whipped open fast and caught me the forehead. I fall backward, my left hand knocking the open jar of corn starch off the counter. I'm still trying to figure out WTF happened as she hops over me to get to the toilet. The experience was a bit surreal as I was lying on the floor bleeding looking up at my my wife who was both peeing and apologizing profusely.
So head wounds like to bleed. A lot. The floor was still wet from my shower. Know how some people thicken soups into stews? Thicken gravy? Add corn starch. And I found that little jar on the floor, unbroken and none the worse for wear, though completely empty.
It looks like a small jar, but it has impressive volume. I don't have to refill it often- it's like the Tardis- and of course I had just refilled the damn thing a few days ago. After checking out my head to make sure I didn't need stitches and stopping the bleeding with direct pressure, we looked around to a chaos of white slime decorating the bathroom; pink down my face and hair. I have long hair for a dude, and there were chunks of the mixture over most of my head. I expected to look like a shitty nudist Casper cosplay, but I must have tried to catch the jar with my face whereupon it splashed the rest of the room, so the lower part of my body was miraculously clean and the vast majority of the bathroom was coated. I doubt, even with a week to prepare and a budget to spend on the endeavor, I could have done a more through job if I tried. Besides my head, I had like a *little* on my knee.
After some time to recover, sitting in utter disbelief, I took another shower while nursing the gash on my forehead. My wife, apologetic and concerned through she was, went back to bed after determining I'd survive. Apparently, due to the hour, cleanup was on me. Joy.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, brings us to the real fuck-up of the story, one that is entirely mine. While I dutifully dropped the towels and bath mat in the laundry, I WENT STRAIGHT TO BED right after. No mop, no bucket and washcloth. Didn't clean the floor, didn't clean off the glass shower door. Didn't even stay up to re-dust my junk, just crawled in bed and passed out. Did a shitty job at the bandage and bled all over my pillow, too. By the next morning, that stuff had dried, and it hardens beyond belief- I think I might have had an easier time cleaning up a spilled wheelbarrow of wet concrete. Cleaning chemicals don't do much, I had to re-wet it and absorb it in paper towels, and use a scrub brush between the tiles...
There is a really neat non-Newtonian fluid (pours like a liquid, acts like a solid when force is acted upon it) called oobleck that is literally just corn starch and water- look it up, tons of fun. Easy to make, even accidentally. But don't let it dry all over your bathroom.
​
TL;DR, teabagged a jar of corn starch in the bathroom, got hit in the head and dumped it everywhere, made a huge mess I didn't clean up immediately.
Mathfggggg: That was quite the read, glad your balls are fine though, initially I thought things had gone way worse lol.
ardamayne: I'm hindsight, as described initially it could have veered off and been way worse! There are all sorts of caustic powders, some even in a bathroom cabinet, that can ruin your day. I like a good prank as much as the next guy, but there are limits.
| 3 | 46 | |
1658940357 | 1658973554 | t3_w9jnlw | t5_2to41 | 32 | CharmingReply6928: TIFU never touching my ass again 😭
[removed]
Seeksp: Glad to know OPs mom is F. Important detail.
VirtualDeliverance: These days you can't assume anything.
ZirePhiinix: But if his Mom is M then just call him (her?) Dad instead?
Or are we going to argue for ultimate equality and both men and women can be called mom?
| 4 | 8 | |
1658941184 | 1659038989 | t3_w9jzxc | t5_2to41 | 193 | cantSleepalready: TIFU by believing the mostly positive reviews on google
So my dog got sick like 2 months ago. She had to make blood test for everything. That´s when it came out, she had some kidney problems and other stuff going on. I had to give her a diet for 4 weeks and then come in to make another blood test for her kidneys. My vet that I normally visit makes a break for 3 weeks, so I had to find someone for this time span.
Because I live in a big city, all vets normally don´t want new customers, so I had to look for who would even answer my phone calls. I went onto google and searched for every vet nearby. The first answered and said, he would have time, but I rememberd his bad reviews especially about telling a woman, her dog would have cancer and kidney failure and giving her the wrong medication and also some other bad stuff. So I called another vet, whose reviews were mostly pretty positive (4.7 out of 5). 3 were very negative about her having molt in the doctors office, hurting birds, sticking the needle in the wrong spot.
Because my other vet told me, I shouldn´t believe everything what´s written in the reviews, I thought, okay she seems safe and the reviews are mostly positive, so I made an appointment. The appointment was a few hours ago and when I came in, it smelled weird. I came into the doctors office, where she looks at the animals and everywhere was dirt and dust. Open medication packages, mold on the walls and ceiling. Everything looked really messy like she was a serious hoarder. Newspapers and other papers everywhere.
I didn´t know what to do, so I just stayed, but didnt want her to do anything else than get the blood test done. She didn´t have any employees, so I had to help her with the blood. I had to hold the dog. The problem is, I can´t see the blood of my dog without getting dizzy. So I got a circular collaps of all the blood and had to leave the doctors office. When I came back to pay, she didn´t want to give me a receipt, but did it, because I stayed until I get one. The costs were very low, but I guess that´t the price you pay for going into a moldy room with your pet. Now I have to think about how I can get the results without her treating my dog, because she felt as unconfortable in this dark office as me.
TL;DR: Dog got sick, had to go to a vet for blood test. Believed the good reviews on google and was standing in a mostly moldy doctors office with a doctor, who seemed like a hoarder (Newswpapers, open medication packages, dirt everywhere)
chakabra23: Does this vet even have a valid license to practice?
cantSleepalready: I looked it up, but there seems to be no way in Germany to find out. She has a sign and all, but it seems she doesn´t have a "Dr." in front of her name, which seems a bit odd but you also don´t need one.
chakabra23: Oh gotcha, I assumed it was America. I'm sure it's similar, lots of requirements to maintain licensure. Reporting to the state board would at least trigger an investigation.
As long as pup and you are OK, just stay away from there, and hope you leave a negative review. Good luck!
cantSleepalready: I thought about reporting, but I kind of feel bad for her. It was a really old woman, who could barely walk and the other customers seemed pretty happy with her. I have the feeling, she just does that, because she has to and the other people like paying less money and that she talks to the animals. But my dog didn´t like her at all.
chakabra23: Oh gotcha. I understand better now. Just sounded like a horror show in the original post. I wish for all to do well.
cantSleepalready: It was like a horror show. The room looked like in this series about hoarder with mold everywhere. But the clients don´t have a problem with that and I guess, it looks that bad, because she can barely move.
chakabra23: It's sad that she's doing the best she can with what she's got.
😪
| 8 | 24.125 | |
1658944257 | 1658949028 | t3_w9l9co | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU befriending my SO's stalker.
[deleted]
StumpNuts: She sent you photos of her getting gangbanged and you were still checking on her cats?
Dude...
cyankitten: I’m REALLY REALLY confused about the gangbanging part. BIG time. Like was it photos of her naked - or in underwear/half naked with a bunch of guys with hardons in underwear or naked? Or just a photo of her with a bunch of guys who COULD be just friends and everyone is fully clothed? There’s a HUGE difference between these scenarios. The later one could just be friends - honestly they could even be her gay friends I once had a group of gay guys I was friends with never did ANYTHING sexual. the former one yep is probably a gangbang. Swim wear being the exception if they are by water etc and in swim wear could still just be friends. So WHAT was the content of the photos? Cos she MIGHT have had sex with those guys - if everyone was partially or fully naked etc esp if in a bedroom. But fully clothed and all the stalker COULD have twisted it. I’m morbidly curious which it was 🕵🏻♀️ 🤔
Zetsukorag: Fully clothed pictures, I'm just a gullible idiot.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1658947336 | 1659017214 | t3_w9micy | t5_2to41 | 61 | Kay-cen: TIFU by letting my niece join us drink alcohol
I am 22 female and my niece is 18 female. I have friends that I had know since I was a kid and we all do well and never had a major fight. We always hangout and play random boardgames or tabletop rpgs, so I could say we are a bit of a nerd. Sometimes we would drink if one of us was having a bad time and last night was one of those.
Supposedly only 5 of us was going to be there (I and my 4 other friends, which I should mention are all guys) but my niece who they have known for a while asked if she could join us since she thought my friends were cool.
So she did, at first it was okay, we started the night by playing poker but when the last person arrived (my male friend 20 yrs old) my niece started acting weird. She suddenly wanted to leave my side and sot next to him. She constantly was trying to touch him, and would take his shots from him and drink it. Eventually it got to the point things were pretty awkward and my niece was getting too drunk. So I asked her if we can come home already, and she keeps on insisting that the night was still young.
I told her okay but my friend really didn't feel comfortable anymore, any attempt i try to make the environment lighter failed because she just kept om hitting on him. When she went to the bathroom my friend asked to talk to me and so we left the room for a bit to talk, he said he didn't like how clingy she was and I said okay I'll convince her to go home right now and said sorry to him but he said he was cool just didn't want her touching him so much.
When we came back, she was crying so I approached her and asked why, she said she knows why we left her there with my other friends and she didn't like how we were assuming things about her. She just will not listen to any explanation I provide and all my other friends look upset and don't even try to make eye contact with her.
I told her yeah maybe we should go home now and we can talk about it there. So we finally did, but now it's another awkward situation because the minute we got home we never spoke to each other. We come across each other in the kitchen but we're not even looking at each other's eye. Not sure yet how I can handle the situation. Nothing like this has ever happened in my life
TLDR: my 18 year old niece joined me and my guy friends in a drinking session, she tried to flirt with one of them, got upset when everyone felt awkward, now she won't talk to me at our house
waterbuffalo750: Eh, it's fine. She got drunk, acted a fool, and is now embarrassed by it. Let it go, and it'll be a non-issue in no time.
Hnskyo: Yeah she is probably facepalming herself internally, just talk with her.
No idea what her character is so i cannot say to joke about it or be understanding.
| 3 | 20.333333 | |
1658949164 | 1659039621 | t3_w9n8se | t5_2to41 | 38,882 | Any-Hold5655: TIFU by using boiled eggs to masturbate
This just happened now.
I never thought I'd have to post anything like this, but here we are.
For obvious reasons, I can't tell this to anyone I know, so you're the poor souls to read this.
About two hours ago, I got horny and had the glorious idea to boil a few eggs and find out how many of them I can fit inside my vagina. Brilliant.
Horniness makes us all do stupid things, but I seem to be extraordinarily brain-dead.
So once the eggs were boiled and cooled down, I lay on my bed with the eggs next to me, got out a ton of lube, opened some porn video and got started.
Egg number one went inside just fine.
Egg number two followed with ease.
Egg number three got stuck halfway in, so I started rubbing my clit as I slowly pushed the egg further in.
All of a sudden, I heard a concerning crunching sound.
I removed the last egg and put a finger inside me to find that my worries were confirmed: at least one of the eggs inside me had cracked.
I tried pretty successfully not to panic and thought about what to do.
Fortunately for this context, I have a thing for enemas and recently bought an enema nozzle for my shower hose.
So I put that on my shower hose, started the water and put it inside my vagina with quite an aggressive stream.
I spent about an hour flushing out pieces of eggshells and boiled egg. Lovely.
Once all the broken pieces seemed to be out, I checked again with my fingers. One egg was still in there, but its shell seemed to be intact.
But the egg was all the way back in there, close to my cervix.
I put lube inside of me, squatted down and tried to push it out, but the thing didn't move. I kept trying in different positions, but it seemed hopeless.
After numerous stupid things I tried to get the last egg out, I used index and middle finger of both hands to hold my vagina open while I pushed, and then finally got the egg out, and it was still intact.
I proceeded to go back in the shower and rinse my vagina some more, to hopefully get everything out.
I don't feel anymore things in there, but of course I can't be sure, so I'm a little paranoid.
I am now laying in my bed and typing this. My insides feel.. pretty odd.
But that's what I get for being an idiot.
I don't think I'll ever be able to eat eggs again without being reminded of my immense stupidity.
Moral of the story: don't put things inside you that weren't made to go inside you, and for the love of god don't use eggs.
TL;DR: I stuffed my vagina with boiled eggs, one of them broke inside me. Spent 90 minutes flushing out pieces of boiled egg and eggshell. Yummy.
Yes, I know. I'm smart. And proud.
Pinklady4128: They sell sex toys for that, oh my!
Almost_Ascended: Before opening thread I assumed the OP was male, and had decided to DIY instead of buying TENGA eggs. Was wondering how actual eggs would have worked since they don't stretch...
watsgarnorn: A man most definitely wrote this post. It's fiction.
Aiuner: No… People with fetishes have done so much worse than this. So many far more bizarre food items have been intentionally stuffed into vaginas for the sake of self-gratification. The only thing the inside of a vagina can really feel is pressure.
jnlpt: Yes, that part might sounds plausible, but other details seem made up.
Aiuner: I think you may be underestimating the power of stupidity and/or ignorance for people with these kinds of fetishes who lack the tools or toys to do them safely.
The saying about guys thinking only with their dicks is true for anyone that is sexually frustrated.
I had an ex who once told me something they did while we were dating that was on par with coconut-guy’s stupidity.
Rock_on1000: Omg “coconut guy”, this dude has become a legend on here - and not in a good way 😂
Porkchop_apple: Ok ok who’s coconut guy?
Rock_on1000: I don’t have the link to the post, but maybe someone else can help out if you wanna read it. But, basically, coconut-guy’s TIFU was that he was using a coconut to pleasure himself for multiple days and not cleaning it at all until he went in his room one day and found it infested with maggots 💀
Maybe if you search for “coconut” and “maggots” in the sub, you’ll find it lol. It was a very … interesting read
Porkchop_apple: Oh that’s plenty of info right there. Nasty.
SheepD0g: Nah you should really read that one and the cum box one
fearhs: Don't forget blowfly girl!
Aiuner: Oh no. What’s the story for that one?
fearhs: A young lady and her endearing maggot fetish.
| 15 | 2,592.133333 | |
1658951219 | 1658972260 | t3_w9o2jj | t5_2to41 | 14 | TheBattleFaze: TIFU by giving my immunocompromised mom Covid
Found out just a few mins ago:
I live with my parents, largely because my mom is in bad health and needs my support.
Since Covid came around, I've been very careful. I stopped going out almost entirely for 2 years. My mom is immunocompromised and the last thing I wanted was to have her be one of the stats for number of people hospitalized or worse.
Fast forward 2 years, I relaxed a bit. Covid cases were down until just recently. I've been seeing someone weekly who tested positive for Covid. Of course we decided not to meet the following weekend. We met the weekend after, once he tested negative. Upon coming home, I immediately isolated just to be safe because I did understand there was still a small risk.
Problem is, my mom "lives" in a sitting room we have. That's where the bed is because she can't go up and down stairs well. If I need to get anything from the kitchen or living room, I have to pass her. I did so with a mask during this time.
The day after my date, I had a scratchy throat. Oh fuck. I've been in my room since then, and tested positive today, so I told my mom to do a test. She just tested positive for Covid.
She takes chemo pills and is unsure whether she should continue her cycle or wait, and the oncology dept is closed already today so we can't reach the doctor (yea it's ridiculous). Even if covid doesn't mess with her much, it may mess with her treatment cycle which isn't close to optimal for her health. I could have waited another week just to be sure for my mom's sake, but nope. What a good caretaker I am.
TL;DR - I compromised my mom's health and wellbeing for a damn date.
thebeststeen: Call the pharmacy. I feel like tho as long as she isn’t taking anything for Covid yet she should continue her regular meds until seeing a doctor but a pharmacist will be able to help.
DovahFerret: To reiterate, check with any pharmacy.
As long as you know which medications she's on (the more info the better), just call a pharmacy, ask to speak to a pharmacist about drug interactions, and most pharmacists will be able to provide counseling.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1658951216 | 1658953796 | t3_w9o2id | t5_2to41 | 0 | Real-Composer-6119: TIFU BY GIVING MY FRIEND MY NUMBER
The other day A friend dmed me on instagram asking for my number. I gave it to her because we spoke about it a while back so she could text me the directions to somewhere. I never gave it to her because it was broken when she asked ( i haven't had my phone since like idk this is the 4th month without it, im pretty sure ) I thought she just now remembered, so I told her my phone was broken but she could still have my number for when I get it fixed, so she could still text me ( we couldn't text on instagram because when we got to the place, her instagram would start acting up ). Today I woke up and her account has completely changed and I'm pretty sure she was hacked. Thing is, she asked to use my number to recover her account? Am i fucked. . .
When I say completely changed, it looks like those accounts that after they get hacked, they change CHANGE. Some witchgirl?? has it now, I dmed them and said , " hey u hacked me what " and they left me on seen. I just want to know if my phone is deff hacked, im actually so screwed. I added words so that hopefully this isn't removed because of how little words I used...
TL;DR : i gave my number to a friend but turns out she was hacked. IDK if my phone is hacked now because it's been broken for about 3-4 months.
DragonClash101: What did I just read
Real-Composer-6119: im going through it
| 3 | 0 | |
1658956353 | 1659028943 | t3_w9q5o3 | t5_2to41 | 35 | Administrative_Bus34: TIFU by getting a girlfriend
I have a boyfriend. He was cool with me dating and hanging out with this girl, but we didn't talk much about it before.
We (me and the gf) have been dating for a while, it's a platonic relationship, and she wants to date multiple girls not just me. I plan on getting a place for myself and making my boyfriend move in with me, not my girlfriend.
I do like her, but I don't love her as much as I love my boyfriend. And I made this clear to both, because I want to be honest and I want them to know what they can expect of me. Lately things have gone really well between her and me, so much so that I wanted to make it official.
But when I told him about that he panicked and immediately thought I wanted to replace him. And then I was like shit.... maybe we didn't talk this through enough, and I scared my boyfriend by doing that. He wasn't mad or something, just scared of losing me, and we are going to have a good talk about this in person on friday.
It feels like I really hurt him because he sounds like he is living in the burning house meme saying "I'm fine". He's not fine and I am worried that he doesn't dare to speak up for himself. I don't want to be that kind of person who just walks all over someone just because he doesn't stand up for himself.
I probably haven't thought it through enough and I need to do some good thinking about how I am going to handle this without hurting one or both. I need to be more mindful about my actions.
Also, I am still happy about the fact that she and I are now official. It just feels very overwhelming at this moment because all of this has happened within three hours, and bittersweet because I also hurt someone I love in the process.
TL;DR I got a girlfriend, and then my boyfriend got upset even though he said he was okay with she and me dating.
tracytrainchoochoo: I think I'm too old to wrap my head around this. You have a platonic girlfriend? Is that the same thing as fwb? Please excuse my ignorance.
Administrative_Bus34: It means relationship with no sex.
DariaLoveborn: Isn't that just friendship?
Administrative_Bus34: I guess it comes close, but it has the romance you usually only see in a relationship. I don't often hug my female friends let alone take them out for dinner and walk hand in hand.
| 5 | 7 | |
1658956827 | 1658974294 | t3_w9qctn | t5_2to41 | 602 | luckycharms_889: TIFU - My mum sent pictures of her vaginal prolapse to a florist..
[removed]
niobiumnnul: Can I borrow your mum to send a complaint to Chase?
luckycharms_889: Mate, just take her off my hands.
Smellzlikefish: I'd like her to help me cancel my subscription to Comcast if she's available.
DisposableTires: Honestly we all know Comcast would respond to this with an $800 "complaints handling" surcharge.
| 5 | 120.4 | |
1658959431 | 1658960984 | t3_w9rfd1 | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to a redditor's profile and finding out what sub he frequents.
[deleted]
nataskirk: I had a lady try to me me look sexist for saying that she should have a job if she wanted to complain about her husband making all the income in the house. She said she didn't have enough time "with taking care of the kids and all". So I checked her profile and it showed the single laziest person alive plus bragging about reading 150 romance books a year on top of watching every soap opera on television. I commented saying what I had found a welp full Karen mode ensued.
Grammar-Notsee_: I guess accusations of stalking and harassment ensued.
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1658960473 | 1659042982 | t3_w9rv5w | t5_2to41 | 2,595 | loverofshawarma: TIFU by telling my nephew that rubbing my bald head would make him lucky.
I like to keep my head shaved. My hair started thinning out young and I took the plunge. Always thought i looked better bald. My nephew and niece like rubbing my bald head over when I get it freshly shaved. I love making up stories for them so naturally I told them if you rub your hands on the freshly shaved head, and make a wish it might come true. But it can only be on the same day the head is shaved ofcourse.
Last month The kids were playing ludo ( a dice based game) so my niece immediately took the dice and rubbed on my head wishing for a six. She actually got it, THREE TIMES in a row! Kinda caught me by surprise I had no idea my bald head was this lucky.
The kids were amazed at the magical luck giving properties of my bald head and we all laughed. I thought that was the end of the story.
Today the kids went to the park and told all their friends. They rang my door bell. I opened it to see a gaggle of kids. I shaved my head yesterday and word spread around the neighbourhood. My niblings gathered all their friends to come over and rub my head to make their wishes come true. Most of the kids wanted new bikes! They had all been monitoring my head and waiting for me to shave. I opened my door to a gaggle of excited kids with hopes and dreams in their eyes, staring at my bald head and imagining the possibilities it could open. I had to sadly break their hearts and explain to them how while they are welcome to rub my head for as long as they want sadly it will not get them a unicorn themed bike.
TL;DR - Promised my niblings rubbing my bald head makes you lucky, it spread around and I had to break the hearts of kids who believed it.
Amerikaner83: It only works for family kids
Emergency-Hyena5134: >Promised my niblings
Ok but what the fuck are "niblings"??
loveyourselforelse: i’m pretty sure niblings is like the gender neutral term for nieces and nephews 🥲
Hutchoman87: Never thought of “niblings” as being gender neutral, but more being a quick way of encapsulating them as a whole
JehovasFinesse: If you think about it any way of encapsulating people as a whole is by definition gender neutral which is kind of cool in a boring way.
Ktulu789: Yeah, it's not "gender neutral" but simply a plural form.
prettiestGOAT: It is gender neutral! It's a gender neutral plural.
Like how "ladies" and "gentlemen" are gendered plurals, whereas "people" or "folks" are gender neutral plurals.
Ktulu789: You got a point there!
Since my native language is Spanish, siblings translates as hermanos (and we have sobrinos for both nephew and niece) both words are masculine but the masculine plural includes the feminine gender and all.
It's not that I go about "translating everything" but I reasoned it that way. Thanks for the clarification!
QuickChilli: Hello there fellow Spaniard :)
Ktulu789: I'm from Argentina really
BTW... If siblings is for two or more male brothers... How do you call two female brothers or a mix?
Guide6786: Sibling is either male or female
Brother is just male
Sister is just female.
All can be plural for more than one.
Ktulu789: Ok, I was a bit confused from the thread xD
Yeah, I know those LOL
Thanks for your reply!
| 13 | 199.615385 | |
1658952846 | 1658962297 | t3_w9oqf5 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Taffy-Jones-PI: TIFU by adding memes to a work email
Context before we get started. We have a board that meets quarterly and we get them food so they aren't hungry. This time around they got fried food including chicken tenders and nuggets. If there are any leftovers, we are free to have them the following day.
So we get an email from HR saying there are left overs in the fridge that include chicken nuggets. One of my coworkers sends a funny meme which boils down to, "At a high class resturaunt, still ordering the Chicken Nuggets." I see the email and it gets a little laugh out of me. So I follow up with my own chicken themed joke along the lines of, "Hey can I copy your homework? Sure just make sure to change it alittle bit so they don't notice." Along with two pictures, one of boneless wings and one of chicken nuggets. Funny joke, please laugh.
The conversation dies out and I continue my day. A few hours later, my manager called me into their office laughing. A thing about iphones, is they can't do a preview for an image. Sometimes what it'll do is say the image's name followed by the text of the email. As I sit down he says to check my email on my phone. He had sent me a screenshot of my reply to all users (including iPhone users):
[https://imgur.com/Xbm5Gs9](https://imgur.com/Xbm5Gs9)
I start laughing until he reminds me that iPhone users are the only ones who can see this.....and they are all management level. He kept going, "You aren't in trouble, but draft a little apology email" We then both had a chuckle about it because what are the chances, right?! He said no one caused a stink about it, but it was brought to his attention by senior management. We both have one last chuckle about it and I go back to my desk a little embarassed.
​
I draft up my email and I was told to keep it a little vauge so folks aren't looking for the mistake. But I made my email so vague, that folks without iPhones think that the "inappropriate content" was my arguement about Boneless wings vs Chicken Nuggets and asking my manager what was wrong with it!
​
TL;DR I sent an email at work with an image that had a not so SFW title that only iPhone users could have seen...which just so happen to be exclusively managment.
AcrobaticSource3: Chicken tenders and nuggets? Is this board made up of 5 year olds? Our board goes out to Brazilian steakhouses and Sushi Palaces
Taffy-Jones-PI: It's a volunteer board, so they don't get the big meals. Hence, chicken tenders and Panera bread sometimes.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1658967320 | 1659033834 | t3_w9ujp8 | t5_2to41 | 39 | apenas_cansada8722: TIFU by swallowing pills without water and almost dying of asfixiation
Yeah, that happened. Never thought I would suffocate because of a tiny pill, but here we are. I was lazy and thought I didn't need a cup of water to swallow that motherfucker, since I take meds every single day and have done it before. And obviously, moving from the bedroom o the kitchen is very bothersome.
Anyway, the meds I take are the same size as Tylenol for comparison. I never thought they would get stuck in my throat. But it did.
First thing I feel is pain, like someone just punched me. I couldn't breathe and my chest hurt as well. Had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on a table and then induce vomiting. Then, I laid down on the floor, head inclined to the ground for about 10 minutes.
After almost two hours, my throat still hurts like hell and I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. At least I can breathe and my chest doesn't hurt anymore.
So, dear people of Reddit, please swallow pills with water, milk, juice, wine, piss, cum, I don't care, any liquid you have available. And please learn some basic first aid. The two classes I had on 8th grade just saved my life.
TL;DR: the pill got stuck in my guts and I probably would have died if I hadn't induced vomiting. Please swallow your pills with any sort of liquid.
looncraz: I suffer from eosinophilic esophagitis, food impaction is something that happens to me every couple of days because I am eating something that I think is going down but isn't.
Happened yesterday with an apple, chewed well, seemed to swallow it down fine, then I went to drink some water and realized the apple was still in my esophagus, the pain from the water pushing that through is terrible. Worst part is that I was driving, dealing with that while driving is a master class in staying calm and focused while experiencing significant pain and discomfort.
apenas_cansada8722: Holy shit, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Thank goodness you are okay now
looncraz: Literally just happened to me again while you were making this comment, 😂. I need to stop eating apples while driving methinks.
| 4 | 9.75 | |
1658969562 | 1658979066 | t3_w9vdel | t5_2to41 | 18 | burst_neon: TIFU by standing outside my neighbor's door at 11:30 pm
This happened last night and I guess also today.
So, we have a nice and very friendly cat named Star who loves to travel around the neighborhood. He often frequents others backyards and most people love him. He's got a collar which tracks where he is so we know where he is and if he goes outside of a specified zone. Last night, he had dropped his collar in someone's backyard and I was a bit busy with work so I didn't end up seeing that it hadn't moved for a while and remembered it was getting late.
So I went out at 9, which is his curfew and called out his name and shook a bag of treats. He always comes running but he didn't appear this time. Star knows to always come home by 9 and he's never been out so late before. I spent the next half hour scouring the places he usually goes to but there wasn't any sign of him. I did end up finding the collar since I had it's GPS location and it plays sound. It was behind one neighbor's door to the backyard. I figured I'd come back for it later since Star wasn't there.
I went around the block looking for him and had ask the neighbors to let me in their backyard. Maybe he had gotten stuck in a tree? Our neighbors are super nice and one of them lent me their flashlight and said he'd look in the morning if we didn't find Star. I spent the next hour circling around the neighborhood yelling his name and shaking a bag. It was a pretty weird sight for people walking around. I decided to go ask the neighbor who's backyard had the collar (which I should've done first) if I could enter her backyard. I rang her doorbell, and it's the kind of doorbell that has a camera attached so you can easily see the person at the door. So I imagine a guy in pajamas shaking a bag and yelling out "STAR!" was not something she wanted to see. No one answered the door and I wasn't sure what to do so I left.
Eventually, after circling around once more, I did spot Star heading back to our house and he was completely fine. Gave him some food and he slept for a while. Bad cat. So today, I went and rang her doorbell again to retrieve the collar. She was not home. I was supposed to leave a note at her door but took a nap and completely forgot. She came like half an hour ago to give it back and yelled at me saying next time we appear at her door at late night, she'll call the police and to never let the cat near her house again. Neighbor's to our left were chatting at their doorstep and heard her blow off at me. I apologized over and over but she took her time with her shouting. Eventually she gave the collar back and I went inside, feeling pretty awful. Not too sure if I should let the Star out after this. I'd prefer not to deal with that woman if he drops his collar there again.
TL;DR - Cat didn't come home last night and I went out to find him, stood outside one neighbor's house very late when she didn't answer her doorbell and she saw me through the camera. Next day, she came to my house and yelled at me and threatened to call the cops.
YoshiandAims: Had an upstairs neighbor who constantly flooded our bathroom.
The first time, ran out, and knocked politely on the door (my ex, more politely than I would have, considering, but we didn't know her, it was late, and she heard him knock, so he didn't need to go crazy to get her attention.) came down, but, she refused to answer the door, got on the phone, hysterical because he was knocking on her door...
He started to get more insistent with the knocking, knowing she was right there against the door he could hear her talking on the phone, but, she was ignoring him because he was a man. shouting "SHUT YOUR WATER OFF!! YOU ARE FLOODING OUR APARTMENT!!! PLEASE! SHUT OFF THE TAP!!"
She still wouldn't listen.
It was after hours and the office was closed, maintenance was out for the day... We finally got it settled, with her snottily leaving a note saying "NEXT TIME. TEXT ME."
We... did not have her number. We did not know her. She did not give it to us when she moved in. (we all worked opposite shifts, and she'd been there a very short time) Literally this was an emergency, and knocking was the only solution.
(literally this apartment, water would pour down along the whole length of three walls into the light fixture, and literally touched every F\*ing thing in our bathroom. twice because of this, the ceiling fell into the bathtub (drywall and plaster) even putting a hole in the tub itself.)
Don't let your neighbor get to you. Even in emergencies, people can react strangely.
She should not have gotten your collar and kept it from you. IF she calls the police, you aren't doing anything wrong, let her do it. She will learn her lesson there. You can go to someone's door, and ring the bell to inquire about your cat. Literally it's nothing. (I mean, avoid her if you can, 100% but if it came down to it, the police will not do anything to you, or your cat. She cannot control your cat... it's a cat...)
I'd not let your cat out the best you can, just because if she knows there's nothing she can do, you don't know her, or what she is capable of. Most people understand, that an incident with the neighborhood animals happens once in a while, and unless it happens constantly, it's generally not a big deal... however, some people just aren't that way.
Probably an overreaction to the image, being startled, suspicious... pet scams happen, too, I'll grant her that. But, it turned out to be a neighbor and a real cat, and instead of being relieved, she may have taken it out on you unjustly, just a lapse of judgment in the moment. But, just in case, I'd keep away from her best you can.
Maybe with the neighbors, you are on good terms with, have a quick chat that IF your cat got out, lost a collar again, to keep an eye out, as the woman has an issue with him, and you don't know her well enough to feel at ease with how irrationally angry she got over you ringing her bell over your cat.
burst_neon: God, that sounds awful. I can't imagine how you dealt with the ceiling in your tub.
Thank you very much for the advice, I'll definitely not be letting the cat out anytime soon, but he does get pretty crazy if he's not let out. I talked to my siblings about this, since the cat is basically theirs and they're out of town for a while so I'm catsitting. Star really loves to go their backyard and has dropped his collar there before. Last time, she had returned it without problem apparently.
YoshiandAims: There are some methods out there to help tire a restless cat out and help with roaming.
You essentially engage and play till they pant (like a dog) a couple of times a day. It takes some trial and error though, it helped a lot with a cat we had growing up. It doesn't hurt them, it's weird at first, but, I can say, it helped.
You just have to find the right stimuli and the time. It doesn't usually take forever, and you just do it a few times a day. Youtube might have some videos, or you might have an idea to engage Star already. It's hit and miss, but, maybe
Worth a try. I feel so badly for you both, it was so undeserved! Even if it was a bad day and she just snapped, it really wasn't alright to act like that over a very normal pet, and neighborhood issue. (Ie: A person knocking at your door, cats and dogs slipping free and roaming around) That and to be made to feel unwelcome in the neighborhood. (both of you!) Laughable though, I'll call the police because you rang the bell looking for your roaming cat. Someday, I promise you'll laugh, hard. It took a long time for me to think the vapid fearful college girl story was funny and not frustrating and upsetting. (especially since it happened several times!)
lol, maintenance didn't show up the first time to fix it for WEEKS. Even then, I ended up patching the tub itself, they managed to patch the ceiling though. After it happened more than once, we just kind of assumed it would happen again and if the upstairs neighbors weren't paying attention, we'd be underwater. I hated that place. I was continually nervous to be in that bathroom, the first time was my usual shower time, I'd run late that day, and was finishing up something so I could get on with it (my routine, shower) when I heard the crash. The neighbor girl never improved, sadly.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1658971792 | 1659030726 | t3_w9w76a | t5_2to41 | 20 | idek7654321: TIFU by making oatmeal
Past Me wanted to be cute and store pantry staples in beautiful glass jars. Past Me stuck everything in jars but never got around to adding the equally cute chalkboard labels. It’s fine, I can tell rice from lentils from almonds, whatever, who cares.
Today I went to cook dinner and realized we ran out of white rice. So, I grabbed the brown rice and put it in the rice cooker, and casually asked my wonderful SO to add rice to the grocery list.
“We’re out of rice, really?” She asked.
“Yeah but we have brown rice! It’s in the cooker, internet says it shouldn’t take that much longer. Plus, hey, brown rice is healthier anyway, we should make it more often!” And I started cooking the curry to go with it.
When I finished making the curry, the brown rice wasn’t finished yet. No worries, I thought. Brown rice takes longer, it’s fine. Ten minutes later, it was still cooking. My SO was confused. “I don’t remember brown rice taking quite this long to cook,” she pondered.
“I guess I really haven’t made it in a while. Should be done soon though!” I said cheerfully.
Finally the rice cooker beeped. Finally. Yay!
I triumphantly popped the lid open! Aaaaaaaaaaand it was not rice, brown or otherwise. It was oats.
Apparently you can buy whole, uncut, unrolled oats, which take absolutely forever to cook (hence why we invented “instant” and “quick cooking” oats). Apparently I bought those at some point, even though we don’t even eat oatmeal. Evidently I put those oats in a very cute jar but very unlabeled jar. And months/years later, I made a curry to serve them with!
The oats are both naturally sweet and surprisingly al dente. I was not going to subject my SO to *crunchy oatmeal with curry* so I served the eggplant curry heaped on hotdog buns instead. Like an Indian-inspired, vegetarian Sloppy Joe? Yep. And now I have an enormous pot of slightly crunchy whole oats to eat!!
TLDR: I tried to make my pantry cute with Instagram-worthy glass containers, and today made what I thought was brown rice but was actually oatmeal to go with a curry for dinner and had to serve the curry in hot dog buns instead.
Own_Firefighter_3900: This reminds me of the time I accidentally put salt in my coffee instead of sugar because I was tired.
idek7654321: I’m sure that woke you up real good!!!
Own_Firefighter_3900: It definitely did :D
| 4 | 5 | |
1658974655 | 1658974979 | t3_w9x8hl | t5_2to41 | 8 | Turtle19dan: TIFU by telling my aunts best friend iI love her
This happened Monday. My aunt and her friend have known each other since they were in diapers. I've know her all my life and she's the mother of one of my cousins but she isn't blood related. Everything was cool then a couple months ago, she kept inviting me out of the house because I'm going through a divorce and was staying home a lot. We would go swimming or have lunch or even see fireworks. As time went on I would joke around about NSFW stuff and she'd brush it off and leave it at that. More and more I would joke and she seemingly brushed it off less and less. Now here's where the screw up is, Sunday night we were talking and I tell her "I'm interested" and she says
Yes I know u wanna Bang and I fight that urge constantly cuz it’s wrong and I know it
I tell her "Promise you, if you say no and dont laugh and make it a game, I'll quit.
She replies "I can’t do it ur totally fuckable but ur too close and sex without emotions isn’t something I’m good at. It’s flattering for sure but I can’t fuck up this family more than it already has been"
"Alright, fair enough. Done"
Monday rolls around and I tell her how I really feel and that I want to be with her.
"It's not just about sex, it's about passion. It's about understanding and knowing what we want in life. You have a beautiful mind and soul. This is something not everyone has, not everyone would understand. I've met people with beautiful minds but the ugliest soul, that's heartbreaking to see in younger people these days. You treat everyone right, and fair, with respect and only ask for just that in return. I don't just want to be with you physically, I want to be with you emotionally and mentally. I'm sorry that this is all screwed up, and not what I intended it to be. But you're right and I'll need to distance myself as to not make matters worse."
"Ur basically telling me u fell in love"
"😪 i love the time we spend together. I know how you feel and it's not right. I respect that and will change my behavior."
"If our situation was different i could see it being more. If something were to come of it it would rock the family to the core. U know when we started hanging out my intention was to get you out of the house and enjoying life again so u could realize there was still joy after divorce"
"Til now. Don't feel bad. Im used to it. Now, happiness is a facade"
Idc I’m still going to feel bad I don’t like knowing I’m the cause of ur pain. I’m so sorry 😢"
TL:DR; I told my aunts best friend I wanted to have a relationship with her and we haven't spoken since Monday.
Fnord1966: Someone's been reading pornhub rejected scripts.
Turtle19dan: 🤣
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1658977711 | 1658978834 | t3_w9ybx2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by using biofreeze spray on my hands
[deleted]
Babuey19: The real fuck up was the unnecessary announcement about breakdancing ju-jitsu.
Lexluthor88: Lmao I mean he used to be a breakdancer years ago, and jui-jitsu was recently this year. Lol lots of sore body parts.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1658978146 | 1659046231 | t3_w9yhac | t5_2to41 | 5 | LadyManchineel: TIFU by not checking my email frequently enough.
Im writing this while on ambien so we will see how it goes.
I graduated college in May and I’ve been looking for a job ever since. There were some maybes but none of them worked out. Most were straight up rejections. I’m starting to worry because the small amount of money I have saved up won’t last much longer.
Then last week I get an email the day after applying for a bunch of jobs for a stable job, regular hours, and decent pay. They want a zoom interview the next day. I jump on it, we have the interview, I felt it went great. She said she would pass on my name and I would hear from them within 24 hours.
For the first few hours keeping my phone close in case they called and checking my email frequently. I kept it up for three days. There was nothing. I accepted defeat and told family and friends that I don’t have the job. I start applying elsewhere.
Then, tonight, a whole week later, I check my email for the first time today and there is a email from the morning asking me in for a face to face interview tomorrow morning. But it’s late. I email back quickly and apologize for the late reply, but they won’t see it till tomorrow morning. I say I will be there early and to let me know if it’s confirmed or if the location changes or anything. IFU by not checking my email earlier. Maybe when I didn’t reply they gave the time to a different candidate or just didn’t set up an interview for me at all. I’ll update tomorrow and if this doesn’t get deleted.
TL:DR I didn’t see an email for a second job interview until after the close of business, so I’m going to a job interview tomorrow that may not even exist. Since I didn’t give them a prompt reply, I’m worried they canceled the interview.
Comfortable-Policy70: Send the reply without apology. Go to interview, do not apologize for email. Learn to check email at least daily
LadyManchineel: I do check it daily. I found the email the same day they sent it, but it was just after they closed for the day.
Comfortable-Policy70: Did you go to the interview,?
LadyManchineel: Yes I did, and I got offered the job 15 minutes after I left the interview!
| 5 | 1 | |
1658979224 | 1658983106 | t3_w9yuoz | t5_2to41 | 11 | Redgiantbutimshort77: TIFU by not thinking about college enough
I (15m) have been staying with my uncle for the past two weeks. I do this every summer, except for last year because he got a new job and had to find a different place to live.
Last week he asked me if I know what I want to study in college and do for a job and I told him I had no idea. He kept asking like my answer would magically change but it didn’t. When he asked me why I haven’t thought about college I told him I didn’t know. The real reason is that I have a ton of other shit on my mind and college is just another wave of anxiety. He grilled me for another half hour and it ended up turning into a lecture about how my grades need to be better because they’re average and I can’t be mediocre. Since then he’s been pressuring me to start playing sports again to get a scholarship.
Today while driving to pick up food he asked me the same question, and got the same answer. He asked if I’d thought anymore about college and I told him “no”. When he asked why I said “I just haven’t been”. He got mad at me for being short with him and said my sarcastic responses were disrespectful. I stuttered something about my answer not being disrespectful and he got even angerier and pulled over to yell at me.
I told him that I was just answering his questions and I wasn’t trying to be rude, but apparently that in itself is rude and got another half hour lecture about how I need to plan ahead and not be mediocre. He compared me to my cousins and said at the rate I’m going I’ll never make it in life. According to him, B’s and C’s aren’t good enough and I’m basically a loser. So I have to tell him what I want to study in college and give him details about five different colleges I want to go to, tomorrow.
I wish one adult in my life would understand that I understand how important my future is but I need like a second to breathe. I wish my uncle didn’t have to get so pissed about it. But I guess he’s right. I’m just a stupid mediocre failure.
Anyway instead of researching I’ve been crying in a closet, but that got boring so I thought I’d post here because he’ll probably tell my mom about how much of a loser I am, and judging by the way he slammed the door on his way out earlier I definitely fucked up.
TLDR: I don’t know what college I’m going to and it made my uncle very mad
StephUhKneeDee: You didn’t fuck up, and you’re not a mediocre loser. Grades in high school predict NOTHING of your future success. Focus on figuring out what you love and are passionate about.
You’re 15. When I was 15, I assumed I’d go to law school. (Spoiler alert: I hated college so I definitely did not do that.)
I was 30 when I finally found a career that I love. (And it’s a trade, so my college degree is useless now anyway.) I’ve been in the field for a year so far and I still love it. But I’ve also had other jobs I’ve loved and I assume I’ll have at least 2 other careers in my life.
And by any definition of the word “success,” I’m considered successful. Success and happiness look different to everybody. Your uncle can just gtf right on out.
Redgiantbutimshort77: My family makes it seem like I have to decide my entire future right now, but I feel like I still have at least a little bit of time to figure it out.
StephUhKneeDee: You have *so much time* to figure it out! And then, most likely, you’ll figure it out again!
Overbearing family can be challenging. Hang in there.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1658979587 | 1659305240 | t3_w9yz6f | t5_2to41 | 43 | RideRegular: TIFU by using my school account by accident
This actually happened quite a while ago but I just feel to need to tell Reddit. In about grade 7 I was in the stage of life when hormones started to kick in and I enjoyed pleasuring myself. A lot of the time I would be doing some school work on my computer when I started to feel the hormones but I would just which accounts before searching you know what up. But one time I forgot to switch my account and searched it up on my school account. My school red flags a lot of bad words and stuff like that, so I got red flagged and what made it worse is my mom worked at the school in the office. They probably would have told my mom either way though. But needless to say my mom said to me and my siblings the next day at supper “You guys know that the school can see what your search up on your school accounts right?” That’s when I knew I fucked up. It was just embarrassing.
TLDR - I searched up bad stuff on my computer and I was on my school account and the school saw it.
Bumble_Humble: Incognito does wonders...
hdfhjbg: Don’t think it hide your browsing data from your administrators or internet providers though…
RideRegular: True it does say that it might not
Bumble_Humble: Only your ISP can see / admins
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1658983760 | 1659051967 | t3_wa0crq | t5_2to41 | 548 | [deleted]: TIFU by “selling” nudes to another Redditor
Some guy slide into my DMs offering a lot of money in exchange for explicit photos. We agreed to have them sent via Snapchat, and before receiving payment he required I have an “initial photo session”. In hind sight, my dumb ass should have asked for money up front before sending him things, but I guess I’ve learned my lesson. I sent the most explicit and degrading photos I’d ever taken, and his last request was to film a video of me moaning.
That was the only request I couldn’t comply with, as my family and my nurse were right outside the bathroom I was filming in. He asked why I had a nurse and I told him it was because I was being monitored after attempting to kill myself a few days ago. When I told him that, he got all iffy and said that we shouldn’t be doing this, and he was worried that things might go wrong if we continue the arrangement in the long run. I assured him that wouldn’t be the case, but that if he didn’t want to continue the arrangement it would be fine: all I’d like is compensation for the pics and videos I already sent him.
Well, I haven’t heard from him since. I feel like an absolute idiot and I really needed the money. I don’t know if he’ll change his mind and pay me eventually, but for now I just feel awful, naive, and like filth.
TLDR: I tried to make money off sending nudes. Got scammed instead.
EDIT: Thank you for the overwhelmingly kind responses and for expressing concern regarding my wellbeing. I’m so happy to have encountered most of you good and kindhearted people on this thread.
Itchy__1: Ads are getting smarter
Da5idG: Wow. I thought I was cynical! Now you mention it though...
lilmammamia: That’d be the most elaborate ad I’ve seen, creating all those posts in her history to back up her story…
Da5idG: Yeah, if loads of them weren't sexual related and she wasn't trying to sell nudes...
lilmammamia: Also posts about her dog, tattoos, suicide, depression, mental health, weight gain, more dog, skincare, food, art, photography…
Sorry to OP for snooping, I felt like I had to check for myself…
FantaMeow: Ohhh, she's the angler-fish-tattoo person! Cool
| 7 | 78.285714 | |
1658986977 | 1659089506 | t3_wa1d25 | t5_2to41 | 4,730 | thisissomerandom: TIFU I secretly dated a girl and my parents found out (17f)
This was a while ago but still effects me to this day.
Two and a half years ago (sophomore year), I dated a girl without telling my parents because I was to scared to tell them I was gay (they are hardcore republicans). It was my first relationship. Two months into it, my parents found out and isolated me. They made me delete all my social media, watched my every move, yelled at me, made me feel like shit, etc. I have a twin and she would report if I talked to my ex in class to my parents literally. I was being watched all the time. Then covid hit, so then I was truly alone with no contact at all and stuck at home, no contact not even with my closest friends cause my parents thought I “liked” them.
Fast forward to senior year, it sucked because I lost all my friends since I didn’t talk to them over covid. My parents just threw all of what happened under the rug and acted like it never happened. They just wanted me to continue the perfect life I once had. They thought they could just pause my life and click play again like nothing had happened. I became anxious because I didn’t have a friend group anymore and didn’t have anyone to talk to about my situation. I didn’t go to any events and my grades fell. The day of my graduation I cried because It hit me hard that I wasted my senior year. Im pretty sure I’m depressed but haven’t been diagnosed or anything cause my parents don’t believe in therapy and never signed me up (I asked them twice due to “friend issues” and nothing happened). Basically up to this point my life has sucked because of one decision I made when I was 15. I wish I had just waited until I am 18 to start dating so I could have had a good high school life and just life in general.
TL;DR I am gay and dated a girl without telling my parents, they found out and isolated/punished me. Lost my friend group and I feel like I wasted my junior, but especially my senior year and now I’m depressed.
Edit: thank y’all so much for the kindness. I will be attending college this fall so I will be having a refresh and hopefully navigate and find the right path.
Fav0: That's what america does to people
bignicky222: Should we talk about what Europe does to people. There was this thing back in the 30-40s or the war crimes all throughout europe
ShroedingersMouse: how about sometime in the last 10 years rather than 78 years ago?
bignicky222: Ukraine 2014 dontesk. The involuntary sterilization of disabled underage girls in Australia is still lawful in 2014. The hate crimes against Jews in France.
ShroedingersMouse: Wait, Australia in Europe? wtf
bignicky222: Oof. Ya got me. God forbid I point out something also first world not America. I guess that makes the forced sterilization irrelevant.
ShroedingersMouse: Whatever, nice edit - shouldn't you be off burning books or buying 'christian nationalist' merch? If the best comeback you have is 'yeah but there are shitty elements elsewhere in the world' you might have more of a problem than you realise.
bignicky222: I didn't edit anything I left it as is. Again book burning is a European thing bud. Remember the Nazis we talked about.
ShroedingersMouse: Are you so ignorant you don't know that the book burnings of 80+ years ago in nazi germany are alive and well in modern right wing america?
[https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/feb/04/book-burning-harry-potter-twilight-us-pastor-tennessee](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/feb/04/book-burning-harry-potter-twilight-us-pastor-tennessee)
there you go, educate yourself.
bignicky222: And in modern Europe. Go educate yourself. The Diary of Anne Frank during a midsummer's party, Germany 2006. Lawrence Hill books in Amsterdam 2011. Y'all think everything bad comes from USA but the rest of the world is doing the exact same stuff at all times. You just bury your head
| 11 | 430 | |
1658984422 | 1659078805 | t3_wa0k9x | t5_2to41 | 161 | Muted-Ad-6567: TIFU listening to Smooth Rest Cafe at a friends house
I (M22) was hanging at friends house for a small barbecue, my friends were having a conversation that I wasn’t really interested in so I put in my earbuds and listened to music while I ate. I knocked my headphones out of the jack and at half volume my phone continued playing Smooth Rest Cafe, I pick my earbuds up and plug them back in and continued eating when the person (F22-25) next to me asked me “why are you listening to Russian music, don’t you know what they’re doing to Ukrainian people?” I just say “I’m aware of the thing happening in Ukraine, I just like the music.” She says “Well I appreciate it if you didn’t play that music around me because it kinda offends me.” I tell her that “I just knocked out my earbuds and it shouldn’t bother you anymore because you won’t hear it anymore but I’m not going to stop listening to it right now” she goes ballistic saying that it offends so many people in a crisis and that listening to it make me a supporter of the Russians. I tell her I’m not a supporter of the Russians in the war and just like the music and culture there. She goes on more to the point that I try to finish my meal as fast as I could and leave.
TL;DR a person got offended of me listening to Smooth Rest Cafe and went ballistic when I try to tell her that she wouldn’t hear anymore but I was going to continue listening to the song.
If the grammar is bad I wrote this on a phone.
FBPMOTTIs: I just came home from burning my book collection of Russian classics and reading this made me so angry. Shame on you!
Muted-Ad-6567: Can’t tell if your talking about me or the person that got mad
FBPMOTTIs: Important thing is that you understand your mistake and make amends. Just the other day I was at a friend's house and was shocked to see that she still didn't get rid of her matryoshka. After a little discussion she realized how insensible it was of her and we burned those together as well.
Muted-Ad-6567: It insensitive to have matryoshka dolls?
FBPMOTTIs: Of course it is! What message does it send to have them on display on your coffee table other than you support the invasion of Ukraine?
Muted-Ad-6567: Mate matryoshka dolls have been around since at least mid Cold War, how does having a set of them support a war?
FBPMOTTIs: I imagine a world where people understand culture and politics are the same thing.
I also imagine a world where people can tell sarcasm from sincerety.
Muted-Ad-6567: Mate this is texting not a vocal conversation, I can’t tell if you being sincere or sarcastic
FBPMOTTIs: My bad, obviously you didn't do anything wrong and she is an idiot. Except maybe wearing headphones in a gathering, which can be a bit annoying.
Ktulu789: I can also imagine a world where people understand how to play sarcasm correctly /s 🤣
FBPMOTTIs: What'd be the point then? :)
| 12 | 13.416667 | |
1658989424 | 1659013267 | t3_wa230m | t5_2to41 | 11,418 | genos92: TIFU by using Stripe as a payment processor for my small business.
I used Stripe for about a year to run a small cell phone store in Denver, CO area. In the case of my business, I never had an issue processing my small payments for cell phones, ranging from a couple hundred dollars up to $1000. All of a sudden, we run a charge for $3300 because our primary processor in my business was down, and we had a large transaction to fulfill. Stripe flagged the transaction and is now holding the money from me for "at least 120 days"
It is one thing to say this is a red flag, fine... I hear you... no problem. a transaction multiple times the size... sure. I get it. However A normal payment processor would then query you for documents authorizing the charge, bank statements, financial statements, some sort of procedure to remedy the issue. Stripe provides NO SUCH METHOD TO RESOLVE these issues.
I am concerned because there are reports of Stripe continuing to add "30 days" to the reserve hold past the initial 120 days, indefinitely. One article detailed a hold that was surpassing its 240th day. Stripe is taking advantage of a lack of regulation in this space to steal small merchant's large transactions. They see a big, outlier transaction and lick their chops, hiding behind KYC and "Fraud prevention" To hold your money indefinitely.
You cannot call Stripe. They do not have a phone number. Their support page on their website has Phone call and messaging grayed out. You can only email. If you email, you get robots. Even in the same email thread, a different "agent" (with a different name and everything) answers each time with not prior knowledge of your history. There are no ticket numbers to your support request; nothing tracking it. The robots respond with what is quite obviously a template response.
If you do a little bit of research about this topic, you immediately see this is a prevailing issue. Reports of Stripe taking up to $31,000 are all over the internet! Again, Stripe gives no manner to remedy this. There is NO ONE you can call. NO ONE you can talk to. More disconcerting, it seems that anyone who posts about this issue on reddit gets downvoted and teamed up against by established Reddit accounts, that I have to imagine are owned by Stripe. These account have some established reddit history on them, mainly talking about coding in PERL. It's a little sus.
In my case, I sent my EIN letter, Sales Tax Receipt, Articles of Org, Statement of Trade Name, Certificate of Good Standing, Bank Statements, Website links, Signed transaction receipts, and anything I could think of to Stripe to review. I just received robot-responses; never got anything cleared up.
I challenge reddit to connect me to a human being at Stripe that can tell me how to resolve the issue. I'm convinced It can't be done. This is a big problem and should be brought to the attention of small business owners, and regulators!
​
TL;DR : I used Stripe to process my business transactions. They saw a large transaction come through and used their twisted TOS to steal $3,000 from my small business. They use gray area contract loopholes to be able to hold your money from you indefinitely. While you lose out on your working capital and ROI, they collect free interest on your money; potentially never returning it.
y44k0v: Post on all their social media outlets, thanks for the warning and I hope they release your money soon.
ArltheCrazy: Man, I got upset at my bank when they held a $26,000 for 10 business days cause i needed it to clear so I could pay some vendors. 120 days is criminal. I was able to get the bank to clear the daily maximum amount ($5300) while they waited for the check to clear. I now just invoice for <$10,000 so I can use mobile deposit.
Octarine42: Not a lawyer, but be careful. While I get your reasoning, I’d be concerned about getting jammed up for structuring.
ArltheCrazy: It was because i didn’t have enough in my account to cover the check if it was a bad check. The thing that aggravated me was that it was 2 checks. One for like $5k and the other one for $21k. So if i had made separate deposits, one would have been OK. The teller told me it was up to the branch’s discretion. Originally, they were going to allow $1200 for immediate use and then $5k in 3 business days and then the rest in 10 business days, but i had a bill due in 2 days and needed about $3k to pay it. So they did work with me, but it was frustrating to have to beg to get the daily maximum that they would allow for immediate use. I understand the policy, but also recognized the hack to get around it. Mobile deposit will allow $10k and won’t put a hold on it, regardless of finds in the account. Just hit my 1 year anniversary so still trying to manage cash flow while building reserves and buying equipment. Doing it debt free, baby!
banana_onmydesk: Switch banks. I run a small business and routinely deposit $30-70k via mobile deposit.
CaptainSnazzypants: Sounds like maybe they’re using a personal account instead of a business account.
tagman375: My Schwab personal account allows me to mobile deposit up to 25k, so it definitely depends on the bank, personal or otherwise.
CaptainSnazzypants: Fair enough. Not sure where OP is located. I’m in canada and personal accounts max out at 10k across banks here. Not sure how it is in the US, though I know Schwab is one of the banks with higher limits.
ArltheCrazy: I’m in US. It’s a bank thing. You would think a business account would be set up better than that.
David511us: Our business account used to have a max of $3k per check for mobile deposit, but after visiting a branch and talking to a banker, they were able to raise it to $10k per check. For us, that covers 95% of our check deposits. When they are larger I drive to the bank.
We have been banking with our bank (a large regional one that bought out our old bank) for 13 years.
| 11 | 1,038 | |
1658994930 | 1658997332 | t3_wa3nuo | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU; A simple misunderstanding about the terms of my student loan is likely to run my family financially aground.
[deleted]
iPaintButts: The US is one big scam, and you're a victim as soon as you're born there. I'm so very sorry. I hope you find some kind of loophole or some way out of this. Best of luck
total_balls_up: Australia actually. I could look at how far it sets us back but the mere fact I had the opportunity and got to this point means that my hard work is paying off.
It's a slip, not a fall.
I'll just go back to two jobs for 12 months; I'll pay my dues, no short cuts, no tapping out.
iPaintButts: Your username totally checks out.
Also, I'm sorry about the assuming the worst about this situation, there is definitely still hope in Australia!
Good luck to you, I hope it really works out
total_balls_up: Thanks, just a kick in the nuts when I thought things were going well.
| 5 | 0.4 | |
1658997010 | 1659032879 | t3_wa492i | t5_2to41 | 43 | 14tanhands: TIFU by having a threeway
Recently got into an open relationship with fuck buddy of a couple years and decided to have a threeway. We're fairly kinky and have sex with other people and are quite open about it, but are numero uno for each other. We hang out, drink, have a lot of very hot sex and generally have a great time with each other. Currently feeling like shit cos during the threeway he barely paid me any attention and something that was supposed to be this super hot thing we tried was a major letdown for me. We also don't have unprotected sex with other people but he wanted to fuck her without a condom because we didn't have one.
This is the first time we are doing it together and maybe jealousy is getting better of me but I'm confused about how I'm feeling and don't know what to do. He says he got carried away but it seems to go against everything he's said and done till date.
TL;DR: We had a FFM threeway where my SO barely paid any attention to me and now i feel royally shitty about the whole thing.
Dezmax: You gotta sit down and have a very open and honest conversation. Explain that right now you're feeling jealous. You're valid in feeling that way, but it will mean confronting your own insecurities to overcome that jealousy. If you don't express your feelings now, they'll just eat you up over time and ruin things in the long term. It's all about communication
14tanhands: We did. We sat down and I've told him how I'm feeling in as many words. We have been talking about it but I'm not hearing anything that helps how I'm feeling right now. He 'got carried away' is not good enough. Nor is 'I'm sorry.' I mean, your SO shouldn't be asking for attention when there's someone else right? That's just sad.
Bomtaker01: I'd say getting carried away is a reasonable explanation albeit not very helpful to your emotional state, humans have a fascination for things we don't know or haven't seen before, it's not hard to imagine him getting excited about a new experience, if you'll forgive the comparison think of it it like a kid at Christmas opening a new present, it's shiny and new and the excitement leads them to briefly forget about the other toys they already have
If it is still bothering you though you might want to rethink the being open thing, it might not be for you if this is going to be an issue going forward.
14tanhands: Thank you, this actually really helped. I've never had to deal with jealousy before and we might have pushed too far this time around. Prolly time to take a couple steps back and reevaluate the areas we push.
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1659003601 | 1659004306 | t3_wa649o | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by Getting in the shower with my wife.
[removed]
Mewannafok: Your body, your choice?
bcash101: Just like she can choose to never have sex with him again. Her body, her choice.
SalleighG: Exactly. Choices come with consequences.
| 4 | 10 | |
1659008167 | 1659067158 | t3_wa7k0o | t5_2to41 | 629 | Razor590: TIFU ordered sketchy stuff and the dog blew my cover
Mandatory this literally just happened.
Ok so first of all I have to explain my current living situation. I’m a lodger with a family, and we’re very well integrated and what not. However we’re all very restrictive in terms of naughty stuff due to our religion background.
On the other side of the coin, me and my girlfriend (who doesn’t live with me) have a quite lively intimate relationship. As part of some inside joke she had purchased this officer costume which was just super sexy, but the handcuffs were plastic and pretty much useless to the point we never actually used them. So I bought a pair of proper metal ones looking forward for next weekend. They got delivered today, and the dog of the house decided to inspect the package more carefully. He ripped it just enough to be able to read the label of what was inside. Needless to say, I wasn’t the first one to get the deliveries this morning. Landlord comes back from work, gets the package and reads it: “polished steel handcuffs”. So I had to come up with some fable stories as to why I was ordering handcuffs - probably gonna fail. The banter will be hard!
TL;DR: Ordered handcuffs online, dog opened the package, so now everyone in the house thinks I’m a pervert.
Zupheal: Dont lie, "We use them for sex," and stare him dead in the eyes.
Razor590: The only way!
MyaButtiches: But keep winking at him and emphasize "WE use it for sex".
thedemocracyof: Every last one of us
| 5 | 125.8 | |
1659011586 | 1659011986 | t3_wa8r78 | t5_2to41 | 0 | Enchanto10: TIFU by sitting in the wrong seat in the car
Me and mum flew to New Zealand for a holiday several years ago. I was 11 at the time and it was my first time overseas and we were being hosted by one of mum's friends which she went to school with.
We met my mum's friend at the airport along with her 9 year old daughter and her 6 year old daughter. We walked out to there car, and my mum and her friend put the luggage in the boot.
While they were doing that me and the other kids went to get into the back seat. They got in before me and the 9 year old took the middle seat and the 6 year old was sitting on a small booster seat.
I went around to the other side of the car. When I got there I realised that there was a child seat on that side. The 9 year old is taller than me so I knew it was not hers. But the 6 year old also seemed fine where she was sitting, and I didn't want to make a fuss so I got into what I later discovered was the 6 year olds seat.
I thought that her mum would make us swap, but a moment later her mum came to my door and looked surprised and said 'Oh! Yeah, you can sit there'. I was surprised too. A few moments later she loosened the harness straps up and got me to put my arms through before buckling me in and tightening the straps back up.
We started the 1.5 hour drive, and I played Pokemon on my Nintendo Switch for a while. About 30 minutes later the 9 year old asked if she could see my Pokemon. I said okay and handed her my Switch. She took a quick look but then she said 'Actually, you've had a fair bit of screen time so far, so time to take a break' and turned the Switch off. She then leaned forward and put the Switch in the storage pocket of the driver seat in front of me.
I was annoyed but thought I'd just take it back. But I couldn't learn forward at all and was not even close to reaching the storage pocket. So for the rest of the drive I had to go without my Switch and was quite bored and frustrated.
But the really annoying part is that my mum and her friend thought I was cute in the 6 year olds seat, so for the rest of the trip they kept having me sit in it.
&#x200B;
tl;dr: I sat in the 6 year olds seat for the 1.5 hour drive from the airport to their home, and the 9 year old decided to monitor my screen time and take my Nintendo Switch off me. Then I kept getting put in that seat for the rest of our holiday visit.
clarkology: unbuckle it?
Enchanto10: Didn't want to be in trouble.
| 3 | 0 | |
1659010929 | 1659016714 | t3_wa8ir5 | t5_2to41 | 29 | MrPelham: TIFU by overdosing Magnesium
This actually happened over the course of the past couple weeks with the realization yesterday.
So I am a fairly big guy (5'11/225lbs - bodybuilder build) I've been training for over 20 years competitively in both bodybuilding and powerlifting so I am usually in tuned with my health and most importantly my nutrition. So I usually like to supplement vitamins, as many do. I recently read about magnesium and it's health benefits. I decided to pick up a bottle and I grabbed the "maximum strength" 400mgs. To preface, for things like that I will usually take a little bit over the recommended dosage. I do for fish oil, D3, B's, etc.
So that kind of builds into the FU. I read on the bottle a serving size is 2 pills...or so I thought. So I've been taking 4. So 1600mgs of magnesium, for a couple weeks. Well shortly after this time I started getting extremely bad stomach pains and followed by the squirt shits...for days and days and days. I couldn't put my finger on exactly why. I thought it was my diet, I recently changed a few things but nothing that should cause this issue. So I just went on thinking I'd deal and it would just go away. But it didn't and only got worse. So yesterday, I needed to re-up on fish oil so I checked the dosage on my fish oil bottle and checked the strength. Then I checked the magnesium and realized it didn't say 2 pills, but 1. So then I looked up the effects of taking too much magnesium...and low and behold....the squirt shits and other stomach issues. I also read that the good range is 200-300mgs (some said up to 400mgs). So this morning I took 1 instead of 4. So we'll see how this plays out.
TLDR; started supplementing with magnesium, took 4x's the reco dosage and had bad bad shits and stomach issues for a couple weeks.
inPersona: In my country it is sold as laxative
you can by it as "magnesium milk".
I personally use as deodorant, it is great!
Protean_Protein: Milk of magnesia is a widely available old school laxative.
| 3 | 9.666667 | |
1659012698 | 1659021033 | t3_wa95i2 | t5_2to41 | 590 | ThatRandomDev: TIFU by not wearing a shirt all day
Obligatory, the actual fuckup happened a few weeks ago, but the pain only just ended last night. This also mostly happened because I refused to admit I was wrong until it was to late
I was on a ward campout at a lake. We did boating, kayaking, fishing, swimming, all the lake stuff. Well, since we were outside in the water all day, I just didn't wear a shirt. I did wear sunscreen, just not as well as I thought I did.
Anyway, all day, people kept telling me "put on a shirt, you're all red" and stuff like that. To which I responded, "I'm ok, it's just a super tan, I'm not in any pain" well, we go to bed, and I notice that it kind of hurts getting onto my pad. I don't think much of it going to bed. In the morning, I wake up in severe pain. Oh-ho-ho. I fucked up. I'm covered in burns, all hurting like the worst bitch on Earth. I go to put on a shirt, and oh no, that's not allowed anymore. I go out, and one of the leaders just goes: "I told you so" and I'm just like, "yes, you did"
I end up forcing through the pain and put a shirt on for that day. But the damage is already done. I have to go home on day 2. When my dad gets there, he can't see me, it's to dark. When he's told I'm red as a tomato, he just laughs and says, yeah that happens.
We get home. We have lights on there. He sees me, and just bursts out laughing. My mom comes over and joins in. I am in extreme pain getting into bed, and in the morning, we end up going to the doctors.
My body was covered in first and second degree burns, with striped with regular skin from where the sunscreen made it to. I can't wear a shirt, it's itchy but I can't scratch it, moving to fast hurts me, and my skin it peeling. After about two weeks, the skin is no longer mega burned, but my skin is still itchy, in pain, and peeling. Last night, my skin stopped and I suddenly feel a lot better. Thank God that this is over.
TL;DR: Refused to admit I was wrong and wear a shirt, got covered in burns
zcbdfgrg: Family full of redheads and blondes with pale skin here....never go outside in the summer without loads of sunblock!
ALSO, those long sleeve UV shirts are a BLESSING! You don't overheat, they are comfortable and breathable, and most importantly, they protect you!
ustbota: what shirt, share pls
ThatRandomDev: Yes please do. I've used one and it was so uncomfortable and hot in it. Would love a good one
zcbdfgrg: https://www.uvskinz.com/collections/men
ThatRandomDev: Thanks :)
zcbdfgrg: Lands end also makes a good one!
| 7 | 84.285714 | |
1659013953 | 1659049700 | t3_wa9mo5 | t5_2to41 | 34,032 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining my sister’s wedding dress
I (16f) had a small gathering of 10 people over at my house last night while my sister was out the whole day. (She’s 24; foster kinship.) Someone brought alcohol, things got kind of out of control, and one of my highly intoxicated friends put on my sister’s wedding dress. The dress got a ton of stains all over it and a few tears in the fabric. I was panicking when I turned the corner and saw my friend wearing it. My sister is currently engaged and getting in married in October so it’s not like the wedding has already passed. You can probably imagine how pissed she was when she got home.
I feel awful. She’s bringing the dress in later today to try to get it fixed, and I feel like such a terrible sister for letting something like this happen. I was fully prepared to get punished when she found out there was alcohol, but her ruined dress made everything 10x worse. I’m grounded until the wedding which to be honest is a little long if you ask me, but I guess I can’t be upset since this whole ordeal is my fault. I’m also pissed at my friend who found her dress and decided to try it on. Sooooo now I’m dealing with an immense amount of guilt for ruining my sister’s perfect day. Definitely fucked up…
Tldr: I had some friends over, we were drunk, and my sister’s wedding dress for her upcoming wedding got ruined.
Edit: a lot of you are saying my friend and/or I need to pay for the dress, and I completely agree. I don’t have a job, but I promised my sister I would pay her back when I get the money. My sister contacted my friend’s mom and told her the situation; she is helping to pay too. she got in trouble as well but I don’t know the details of her punishment. I am really angry with my friend, but I DO NOT INTENT ON CUTTING HER OFF! I may need to distance myself for a while, but ultimately she has been a good friend to me and my sister likes her as well. As for the other people who were there, they had no idea about the dress until they saw my friend wearing it and it was too late. They are only guilty of underage drinking and I am still very close with them all.
Also, sorry if I worded something wrong but my parents are NOT in the picture. I live with only my sister. She is my guardian. I love her very much and i don’t like the comments about how she should disown me as a sister or un invite me from her wedding
mickdeb: Your friend should pay the dress reparations
happyends: If the friend is under age her parents are responsible.
epelle9: I think legally, the one that provided the alcohol would be responsible.
The-Verminat0r: For the damage of the dress, no. for the fine for providing alcohol to minors, yes
InfiniteCalendar1: Agreed, the girl who damaged the dress could try to at the very least get a job and save up to pay for damages. But whoever bought the alcohol for minors committed a separate offense.
ActivisionBlizzard: Wait nah it’s chill to give kids alcohol in your own house right? In UK it’s legal after 5 years of age in private residence.
InfiniteCalendar1: In the US the drinking age is 21, idk where OP is but it seems to be implied that it’s not 16 so I’m guessing at least 18. Five is too young though.
yoyo_deorbit:
>Five is too young though.
i don't know if you're imagining uk 5 year olds having a bender, but that's not what's happening
InfiniteCalendar1: What five year old needs to be trying alcohol though?
tiki_riot: I’m sorry, were you never 5? 5 year olds ask to try some every time an adult has a drink lol.
My nan gave me a glass of baileys every Sunday & grandad used to let me drink his whiskey 😂
InfiniteCalendar1: Okay? Want a cookie? Not all 5 year olds try to drink alcohol, stop acting like your childhood is a universal experience. I don’t care about your childhood either.
tiki_riot: Clearly you do care, you seem quite annoyed, you’ve implied an intent behind my comment that isn’t there. Also I’ll have a biscuit if you’re offering, because that’s what they’re called.
InfiniteCalendar1: I don’t care. Lmao I’m laughing at how pressed y’all are over my opinion.
tiki_riot: “Y’all”… oh dear.
InfiniteCalendar1: Yikes, making fun of how people talk. I suggest diversity training
zvii: Keep digging!
| 17 | 2,001.882353 | |
1659017150 | 1659020554 | t3_waavlj | t5_2to41 | 12 | CrazySticker20: TIFU by crashing company car
I 19m got my drivers license last year. Since then i loved driving cars. I bought my first (2007 ford fiesta) car which broke down after 3 months (i have had it checked on the internet and at the mechanics shop and all seemed to be ok, it wasnt). Later that year I sold that car and with a help from my parents, bought a 2005 corolla. Summarizing i drove around 15000km in 10 months
A few months ago i found a jon advertisement in a car rental company. The job was driving around the cars - perfect for me. I made another 15000km in that job.
Today i caused a road accident. No one was hurt which is the most important part. However 3 cars were damaged. I have to pay 1000PLN ticket for causing an accident (around 230USD) and 200PLN (around 45USD) to the company for crushing the car.
I wanted to switch lanes and looked in the mirror and (i dont know how) didnt see a peugeot boxer on the next line. I attempted switching lanes and peugeot crashed into me. Without a doubt my fault.
Money isnt the worse thing. 1200PLN is around 1 - 2 weeks of working for me. The bad thing is I feel bad with myself. Does it make me a bad driver?
TL;DR: i didnt see the other car and crashed into it by switching lanes.
chebolita86: Ive had some close calls man...but yeah this time you were unlucky. Learn from it and move on my dude.
CrazySticker20: i think thats what im gonna do
| 3 | 4 | |
1659016478 | 1659031392 | t3_waalo9 | t5_2to41 | 6 | Emeri5: TIFU by meeting with a new MAJOR customer, an Italian Family from New York, and accidentally asking the VP if the owner of the company was the Mom…
Ya so. She wasn’t his mom. She was his wife. How I could have possibly messed this up any worse, I don’t know. Literally as I met her and shook her hand I asked “so are you the mom? What is it like working with your Son?” It’s not that she looked older at all, I had this pre conceived notion that because she was the president and he was the Vice President, and they were a “family company” that she was the matriarch. Any advice is much appreciated. Oh ya, this was a meeting I had been preparing myself for the past 3 years. Finally got it. The look in her eyes was utter disdain. I talked to everyone I know and they all say I’m fucked. I want to apologize but I think this is like a one strike and you’re out situation. Even if it wasn’t intentional. Worst part is that I went into the meeting with good credit - I had helped them out of a bind and helped them make a good amount of money upfront. I can’t buy them anything because they are wealthy. I can’t do anything nice because I don’t know what they like. What’s a guy to do? Please any advice on making Italians happy. Please.
Now, I hate myself. Ugh. F***. Me.
TL;DR I asked the president of the company if she was the “mom” of the VP. She was his wife.
TheGMan1981: They can’t fire you for asking such a stupid ass question, but you’re probably best off starting that job search now before they make your life a living hell in effort of getting you to quit so they don’t have to deal with the financial impact of letting you go.
Emeri5: I’m the owner
| 3 | 2 | |
1659020781 | 1659111162 | t3_wacc6w | t5_2to41 | 172 | Frequent_Chemist4032: TIFU by being horny.
[removed]
Crookedhorn112: get yourself some aloe-vera skin lotion. go into the bathroom. slather it on your junk then put on some soft cotton underpants. leave your dingus alone for a couple of days and you'll be fine. finally, dial it back a bit junior. Try to be a little less "violent" with your tugging.
Frequent_Chemist4032: thank you dude this is a genuine advice, have a good day
Qadir_a_Deer: Low key try using coconut oil next time you “indulge with yourself”
Thorinth: Just don't use coconut oil too much. You might develop a case of Pavlov's Dong and get an erection when you smell it in I opportune moments! Unless you are into that kind of thing then get your kink on!
Iambro: Hey, maybe he just *really* likes Piña Coladas, ok?
couchfucker6669: But does he like getting caught in the rain?
| 7 | 24.571429 | |
1659021362 | 1659025929 | t3_wacksr | t5_2to41 | 57 | JadedDreamer22: TIFU by forgetting what I had in my carry on
Okay so this didn’t happen today. This happened in 2019. Right before covid hit. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who lived in New York. I would often fly back and fourth between home and visiting him. One time when I went down to see him he told me he had a surprise for me. We were going to Poconos, PA to spend a weekend in the “fuck palace” as Pete Davidson calls it. one of those romance resorts they have. Complete with the heart shaped tub and star lit ceiling. I brought lots of toys knowing we were basically just going to fuck the entire weekend. I was correct, and we had a great time. When it came time to checkout I was in a rush trying to pack everything. So I just threw everything in my bag and tossed some stuff into my backpack figuring I would organize it better before I caught my flight home that evening.
By the time we made it back to New York it was basically time for me to head to the airport. So I grabbed all of my things and we hustled to LaGuardia. We said goodbye and I checked my bag and went to head through security. As I was going through. This old male TSA agent tells me that he can see something in my bag that looks like a liquid. I can go to a private room to have my bag gone through or we can do it at a table close by. My dumbass thinks, there’s nothing illegal in my bag, maybe it’s makeup or a bottle of water. Let’s just do it here in front of the other 200 people going through security. I don’t wanna miss my flight home. So he digs deep into my backpack and pulls out a freezer bag full of toys. A few dildos, but plugs, lingerie, and of course, the culprit. A large bottle of lube. I immediately become beat red. He pulls out the lube and just stares at me. I nervously stare back, eyes wide, I can feel the heat in my face as I become red as a tomato. I say “yeah that must be what set the alarm off, you can throw it out. Sorry about that I forgot it was in there” thinking about how I just want this moment to be over. People are watching this all go down and chuckling to themselves as they walk by us. But old TSA agent isn’t done yet. He wants to go through every toy in the freezer bag. Fml. He pulls out the first large purple dildo, HOLDS IT UP TO THE LIGHT AND ROTATES IT 360 DEGREES. All while saying nothing to me. The silence is killing me. Now even the people in the back of the line are definitely becoming curious as to what’s going on. It’s safe to say we have everyone’s attention. I don’t even know what to do, I just look at him and say “that’s a dildo…” we continue this process with ALL OF THE TOYS. I literally could of died of embarrassment, this was the longest 10 minutes of my life. Finally, he puts all the toys back in the bag and tells me I can continue on. I shove those toys back in my backpack and speed walk my ass out of there. This was probably the most awkward and embarrassing experience of my life. Definitely my most memorable fuck up. Don’t be dumb and make the same mistake I did. Never put liquids in your carry on, especially not a bottle of lube.
TL;DR I forgot a bag of lube and sex toys in my carry on and the TSA agent held them up in the air and showed everyone waiting to go through security instead of being discreet.
ireallylikeducks99: I forget things in my carry-on all the time, no dildos yet but you have inspired me to start. Any recommendations what kind of dildo I should forgot first?
JadedDreamer22: Hmm I’d recommend anything advertised as an XL toy lol 😆 the bigger the better for shock value
ireallylikeducks99: Thank you for the advice!
| 4 | 14.25 | |
1659023013 | 1659042827 | t3_wad8qu | t5_2to41 | 23 | bladestorm1745: TIFU didn’t get a dudes number
Happened yesterday, this summer I’m working at my dads auto shop and I was mowing the lawn.
Now as I’m mowing, the owner of the land next to ours walked over to me and I thought he was gonna give me shit for some reason.
Turns out he was asking if I was contractor, now I’m a teenager and I have 0 clue what he’s talking about till he asks if he can hire me to mow his lawn (or really it’s just a giant field currently). It clicks and I realize he asking if I’m a freelance landscaper (or just some random teenager mowing peoples lawns for cash).
In my confusion and complete disregard for a simple job that could earn me some money I explain to him that i actually work for the shop who’s lawn I’m mowing and he walks away and apologizes.
After that, my dad comes outside thinking the dude was giving me shit but when I explained it to him he said “wait did you get his number?” And it hit me. My dad explained that when he first bought the land a random guy said he’d mow the entire thing for 400$ and the grass we have on our side is very little so I guess I probably could’ve made an easy 400-600$.
TL;DR: didn’t get an old guys number and could’ve made quick money mowing his lawn.
NotTodayNSA5117: Getting a set of like ~100 of your own business cards is super cheap, and you'll be surprised to see that you get more business when you look more professional. Best thing about a card, if someone likes you, they can give that card to someone else who needs a hand with landscaping.
Then there's not even any fumbling over phones, just hand the card over with a handshake, and you'll get the business.
That was just a live and learn moment, and for how it could've been, 1 missed job isn't bad. You've got the right attitude.
hattersplatter: It's weird to me we haven't created a universal way to touch phones together and trade contact info... But yea, business cards are still the best way to give someone your number.
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1659026841 | 1659038487 | t3_waetw1 | t5_2to41 | 233 | Background_Wear6672: TIFU by donating €2 to an online friend's Ko-Fi
I'm friends with someone on a Discord server, and through them I found their tumblr account (it's their art account), they follow me back but I don't know if they know it's me? Today I donated €2 to their Ko-Fi which is in their tumblr bio, I wanted it to be anonymous but it showed my name on the receipt. I looked up if ko-fi shares that information with the creators, it does, and I got an email receipt saying "You just donated €2 to \[friends full name\]@email.com. So now I know their full name, they know mine, they know I found their tumblr, and now they probably think I stalked them! I only knew them by a screen name and I'm mortified that I've breached their privacy by just trying to give them money :(
TL,DR: I wanted to anonymously donate money to an online friend, it wasn't anonymous, and now I know their full name and they know mine.
dahumancartoon: Why is everyone so these days so scared into anonymity? You describe this person as your friend but are worried they know who you are. That doesn’t make sense at all.
Background_Wear6672: I guess I was brought up with "don't tell people on the internet your name or where you live". We're friends as in we have shared interests and both make art, but before this we didn't know any irl stuff about each other
ouzo84: As a general rule it’s a very good idea not to share personal information.
If you ever want to do something anonymously, set up a second email account.
I have two email accounts, a professional sounding one with my name for job applications etc and another with a nickname for EVERYTHING else.
plafki: Poonahslayah88 is that you?
ouzo84: Sssssh ;)
| 6 | 38.833333 | |
1659028817 | 1659161185 | t3_wafnmy | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating a expired chocolate croissant.
[deleted]
UserSomethingOrOther: This isn't a healthy relationship
KarrlyssaIsBored: dont worry she still actually cares about me shes just extremely strict. then again i dont get affected by her she always apologizes and makes up for it anyway
UserSomethingOrOther: You're clearly affected by her when you decide you won't eat until she 'lets' you. That's the start of a slippery slope that you're already on because of her anger issues. You deserve better than that.
>she always apologizes and makes up for it anyway
It's typical for people being abused to defend their abusers. Not your fault, you might just feel like you have to because she's your mom, or you love her, or because things are always okay after and she 'makes up for it' later.
It's one those cycles that just gets worse and worse, trust me. This is much worse than her being 'strict.' You're young, so you have time to get a job and get ready to get out as soon as you're an adult.
I know this might sound crazy to some people as a suggestion, but I've been there, these situations just get worse the longer they go on. The way she's treating you is at best, unhealthy, at worst, abusive.
Hopefully one day you'll realise this isn't okay and that you deserve better.
KarrlyssaIsBored: no its never been severe believe me. she might be a bit way too strict but believe me she does make up for it. i know whats abuse and what not and i wouldnt be like this if she wasnt a good person. im trying to help her get over her anger issues and shes getting help in general but she does care. she gives me great advice and listens to me, she takes care of me and helps me when im sick, she gives me kisses and hugs and compliments me everyday and makes sure that i think greatly of myself and more! believe me im okay. im completely alright, my mother is the smallest issue other than every other issue i have. plus this “i wont eat until she lets me” thing isnt from her. i want to lose weight anyway and even if i did try this she wouldve immediately told me that i should still be able to eat and stuff.
i need to lose weight in general, my doctor told me im overweight and cannot gain any more weight, if i do id risk illnesses and stuff. im trying one of those fasting diets anyway and ive been losing great weight so dont worry! i will still be careful and stuff and believe me my mother isnt as bad as you think she is. theres way more detail to her than only this.
UserSomethingOrOther: These are just more excuses for her abusive behaviour. And I get it, she's been there your whole life. You don't know any different. It's not your fault.
>i wouldnt be like this if she wasnt a good person
You're like this *because* of the way she's treating you. You literally say you won't eat unless she allows you to. Because of her abuse, you won't eat, because you appear to be afraid of her.
>im trying to help her get over her anger issues
You're her child, it shouldn't be on you to help her with a very big issue like this, that she appears to be taking out on you.
>she does care. she gives me great advice and listens to me, she takes care of me and helps me when im sick, she gives me kisses and hugs and compliments me everyday and makes sure that i think greatly of myself and more!
She might care, but that doesn't negate or excuse her abuse and anger issues, and those things playing into your eating habits, for example.
The good times don't outweigh the abuse, they just make it more likely that you don't realise you're being abused in the first place. Especially emotional abuse that hasn't yet turned physical, which it often does.
>fasting diets
Yeah, definitely be careful with these and follow what a doctor says. Especially when you're young. You can lose weight in healthier ways than not eating.
>theres way more detail to her than only this.
I agree that I'm a stranger on the Internet, I don't know everything. I hope it's not as bad as it seems like in your post, but it does seem bad.
KarrlyssaIsBored: i do understand where you come from but believe me theres way more detail to all this. still thank you for your concern.
UserSomethingOrOther: No problem
| 8 | 3.375 | |
1659030525 | 1659053722 | t3_wagd8i | t5_2to41 | 4 | throwaway1012023345: TIFU by going a little too far sexually with my best friend
Title, basically keep it in your pants and keep your friends close but not that close. It fucks things up and now there is a bunch of not great vibes. I can't say for sure yet but it definitely feels like I've completely lost a friend. So I don't know take a lesson from me and try not to fuck your friend-ships.
We've had a good ammount of chemistry for a while and have joked about a bunch of stuff and once it came too it we realized things weren't necessarily jokes. And one thing led to another and here we are, we've talked a little but tension is still tough. I know some space is going to be necessary for a bit.
I'm not too sure on how, or if, we'll be able to go back to where we were. Hopefully one day because I really don't know if I can handle loosing him.
TL:DR
Don't fuck with your friends, stick to the streets, it ruins friendships
Heress_Johnny: One of the hallmarks of a good friendship is communication. If this isn't something you both can get through together then maybe you weren't as good friends as you thought? Just my two cents, hopefully yall can patch things up.
throwaway1012023345: Ya know this is pretty solid advice, thank you
Heress_Johnny: No problem! Been through something similar. Dms are open if you wanna talk about it
| 4 | 1 | |
1659030961 | 1659033035 | t3_wagjpn | t5_2to41 | 3 | Additional_Ad6431: TIFU by using one of my parents-in law hidden condoms
Throwaway account for obvious reasons
So I'm an only child and I live with my divorced mom, I never really knew my dad although he does send me money on my birthdays and does pay child support
About a week ago my parent in-law won a 3-week vacation to somewhere in europe (I don't know the details) and she left 3 days ago, now me being my dumb self snooped around in her room searching for, anything really I found her sex toys and a drawer of a bunch of stuff she hides from me, I'm talking old phones, a goddamn projector (I think it's a b-day gift), shit ton of unhealthy food, (I'm talking candy chocolate etc, she gives me something like a chocolate bar for moving the grass etc.))
Me being my horny self also used my time being alone in the house to spend my time wisely, Alone time and watching TV
Another thing I forgot to mention is that I also found 2 silicon condoms in her room (I've found them before, in a big plastic bag there were about 20-ish), knowing I'm alone for the next 2 weeks I took one of the 2 and proceeded to use it (not while in the act. I just wondered how it felt),
My genius plan was to use it (as in put it on) take it off, disinfect it, clean it and put it back (dumb plan by horny-self), I should have stopped when to open one you had to tear the silicon as the sides of the condom were glued together, but I kept going, after I put it on, felt it, got disappointing as it was very much so underwhelming I took it off cleaned it and dried it with a hairdryer, when I went to put it back into the closet I found it in I realised that it's very much so different from the unused one
The unused one is way more clear and glued together, if I were to put my shitty hairdryed one next to it my parent in-law would definitely notice
After about 30 minutes of condom image scrolling I've found the exact condom sold online (it's apparently a reusable cock sleeve as you can probably tell I'm a kisless touchelss virgin), problem is it would arrive about a month from now, which is 1 week too late, the only one that wouldn't be too late costs me 32€ extra just for shipping, adding the base product price that leaves me with around 40€ and I literally have 0.68€ in my debit card, I have no stable income, and my only way to make money right now is trying to resell a pair of earbuds that I've won from a giveaway (they're 30€ base price I've been trying to sell them for 20€ for the last 4 months), so I am essentially fucked
TL;DR Horny me used one of 2 reusable cock-sleeves (which were stashed away in my parents room) from curiosity with the hopes to not be found out, saw the difference from used and unused and can't afford to buy a replacement one
soccerdad925: Just do the same with the other one and they'll look the same.
soccerdad925: Oh and next time, keep it in your pants
| 3 | 1 | |
1659034092 | 1659060014 | t3_wahup7 | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU By Dropping My Baby Sister
[deleted]
jonjaninja: It's fine, I was dropped from higher than that onto my head as a baby and I only have moderate memory loss issues
AlexD51192: Upvote to counter the people that don't have a sense of humor, clearly this comment is meant to help op feel better. But yes, please own up to what happened.
| 3 | -1 | |
1659034406 | 1659131567 | t3_wahzbq | t5_2to41 | 27 | Sea_Bison89: TIFU and took my dogs medication instead of my morning vitamins
As stated - tifu. Thankfully, I am okay, but feeling like a major idiot. Was in a rush getting ready in the morning. My routine of brush teeth, wash face, take vitamins, call dog over to give her her pills was not that today. For context, my dogs takes 2 pills every morning and night for her incontinence and her heart murmur. In order to remember to give them to her I put them in the bathroom by my tooth brush so I don’t forget. Well this morning I brushed my teeth washed my face and… whoops. As the two dogs pills were being swallowed it hit me what I had just done. Freaking out, I tried to make myself vomit. Couldn’t so I chugged water - tried again. No luck. Tried for a few more minutes. Still no luck. Called poison control and they reassured me that the low dosage was not harmful to me and in the future do not try to induce vomiting because it could make it worse or not even get it all. Now, I have a majorly scratched up throat, still spitting up little bits of blood, and a major headache from trying to induce vomiting for no reason. Learn from me - call poison control first.
TL;DR accidentally took my dog’s medication instead of my vitamins. Attempted to induce vomiting and was worse off than if I did nothing and according to poison control didn’t even need to.
JayElbey: I know exactly how you're feeling.
I did almost the exact same thing with my dog's heartworm pill a few years back. Even to calling poison control. Fortunately, nothing hurt but my pride.
I still hear about it from my wife every now and then.
Sea_Bison89: Yeah my husband came home and joking was like “okay now that I know you’re okay and you’re calmer… what were you thinking?!”
He’ll never let me forget it but at least I’m alive.
| 3 | 9 | |
1659037482 | 1659038155 | t3_waja2u | t5_2to41 | 6 | PapayaEmbarrassed946: TIFU by finding out my 9 year old brother has discord
Hello people of Reddit, so a few months ago I found out my brother had discord, I didn’t do anything then but today I decided to do something; I will try to explain everything in as much detail as possible, please excuse my bad grammar as English is not my first language and I typed this in a rush
So, I saw my younger brother(9m) using discord, I tried to get one of my friends to add him on roblox, ask for his discord and give it to me, but they refused, so I did it myself, I added him then I did something that might have been too far, I sent pictures of him and his family then I explained what I did, he wanted a new account so a made one for him, so now I have his account, Yay, I can see his private messages and can delete the account, I told my friends and some told me I should snitch on him, some said I should delete the account, some said I should just watch and see if something happens, now I don’t know what to do, I’m very stressed as if anything happens to him it’ll be my fault, I know I sound very overprotective but I can’t help it. Please help.
So what should I do? Should I tell my parents? Should I delete his account? Should I keep watching to see what happens and risk him getting exposed to bad stuff? Please help me.
TL;DR my 9 yr old brother has discord and I have his account and can view his private messages, what should I do to protect him ?
Edit: if someone puts those in one of the tiktok voiceover things, tag me, my user is @sleepysbored
Howlsmovingcastles: Talk to your parents, they may not know
PapayaEmbarrassed946: My dad knows and has told him to delete it, he did delete it but reinstalled it unfortunately.
| 3 | 2 | |
1659038958 | 1659126078 | t3_wajwjs | t5_2to41 | 308 | Responsible-Ball-905: TIFU by getting into a console flame war with a coworker
So not even an hour ago I stopped by a coworker's cubicle for a little chit chat. He told me he was trying to buy a PS5. So out of genuine curiosity I asked the typical "oh it's still sold out? Have you tried that Sony direct thing they're doing?" questions.
After all that I suggested getting a mid range PC for the same price. Admittedly it's been a while since I've done any video gaming or computer building myself but last I remember you could get a comparable or slightly better specced PC for the same price as a console. I even threw out the age old upgradeable selling points and all that.
Then, as I turned to walk back toward my cubicle I absentmindedly said "PC Master Race" down the hallway.
Well, I just got an email from HR and have a private meeting in 30 minutes. Pretty sure I'm gonna have to explain that I'm not a nazi...
TL;DR shouted bad things at my office, might get fired
VoidCoelacanth: I don't see this going TOO poorly for you; it was almost certainly another coworker who overheard and reported you based on the "master race" part of it. Just be honest, explain the conversation you were having with coworker and the fully contextualized comment, apologize, and of course promise to never use the phrase "master race" at work again even as an in-joke/meme.
its_bununus: This should be the final solution
still_killing_it: I wish I had an award to give you.
princealbertnyourcan: Yeah, I did Nazi that coming.
| 5 | 61.6 | |
1659040002 | 1659040606 | t3_wakc7g | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU I did not know some guys can give off funky BO during BJ
[removed]
MarmotaOta: Could have showered before, i suppose.
eighteenseventy2: Should have*****
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1659052439 | 1659126839 | t3_wajy6d | t5_2to41 | 156 | roostertree: >if I have changed, they've been good changes. It's true. For the first time in my life I feel stable, I'm making good choices and not in and out of bad relationships and acting recklessly
When you describe yourself thusly, and then add to it the positive responses you're giving to good advice, you prove how much you've grown. And there they are, still gossiping over PM like tweens.
Give yourself a pat on the back. I wish you the best new friends.
[deleted]: >And there they are, still gossiping over PM like tweens.
Tweens also log into each other accounts. Even in the best light Id never trust OP as a friend logging into my account and viewing personal messages.
roostertree: >Tweens also log into each other accounts
Oh please. It's not like there's an entire section of law (cybercrime) that addresses unauthorized access to digital services b/c ONLY tweenagers do it. It's such an adult thing to do—and the consequences sometimes so unreasonably steep—that [at least one person has committed suicide](https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2013/jun/02/aaron-swartz-hacker-genius-martyr-girlfriend-interview) rather than face a courtroom.
[deleted]: Well it was viewed as more of a kid thing, lots of people dont know you can actually be charged for hacking if you log into someone else account. Normally it is for something serious though like a leaked video/text.
I just meant it was childish of OP to do that but probably should have added an /s to the first part.
tegsaan: You can't /s something you actually mean. That's not going to get you out of this bud. That would be such a tween thing to do. I agree that it's not right that OP logged into her account, but in the end it gave OP closure and OP is mature enough to have left it at that and not do anything further. If OP didn't do it they'd still be trying to talk to people who are assholes to them. It doesn't justify what she did, but it doesn't make OP childish either. OP asked and was never given an answer, so OP had to take it into their own hands.
roostertree: > in the end it gave OP closure and OP is mature enough to have left it at that and not do anything further
This. If hacking/snooping has a wholesome version, this is pretty much it. OP didn't weaponize anything she learned. She let herself hurt a little, and then crowdsourced advice on how best to extract herself from these non-friendships.
[deleted]: “I was reading a personal message between friends to see what they said about me” that isn’t wholesome.
Hell if she tells the friends how well will that go over 😂
siefz: good thing they arent real friends :) - and she doesnt have to tell em, and the note your stuck on is perhaps the least important of this entire post. enjoy being sour my friend <3.
| 8 | 19.5 | |
1659033518 | 1659062529 | t3_wahm4f | t5_2to41 | 7 | Potential_Trifle4162: TIFU she feels unsafe with me
So, it was night time, she and her other friend were coming back from somewhere. I was at a movie in the same area as her place. I asked if she was there so we can hangout, she said yes. My friend dropped me at the place they were. We(me, her and other girl) are going to her place. Basically, I had a quiz to attend and I needed a laptop, so I asked her if I can use hers, she said she was fine.
Me(20M) and she(19F) are friends for a long time, we been in casual relationship too. It has never happened before, I mean she feeling unsafe around me. So, I was sitting in the bed with her, attending my quiz on her laptop, she was across of me. Now, her other friend is housemate, they live in same apartment. The other friend said she was tired and had class tomorrow in the early morning, my friend was insisting the girl to stay in her room, idk why, I mean felt the vibe. And its not that, I have slept a thousand nights with her on same bed, never harmed her. Now, the other friend is gone in her room. My friend goes to her room, I am still attending my quiz, she comes back, sits on the bed.
After a while the other friend comes to the room, the other friend again tells she is tired and stuff! and my friend tells her to go to sleep. Here is the catch, the housemate tells her, you called me to sit with you and now you're telling me to go sleep.
At the exact time, I just knew, I need to leave the place. I left. She told me, while I was leaving that she didn't call her. But I left as it was a kind of disrespect!
Idk what was up with her
&#x200B;
TL;DR we were in casual relationship, never harmed her. i was at her place, she called her housemate to sit with us, i think she felt unsafe. i left. she told she didn't call her, i never even asked her if she called her or not.
Clarka3: i mean, she might have thought you were being kind of clingy and invasive that night, and didn't know how to tell you.
She was hanging out with her friend, and you called up and basically invited yourself over. You then proceed to basically just exist in her private space (doesn't matter how often you've hung out there before) and then do your studying, something that isn't a collaborative process and you probably should have done at your house.
She probably thought you were trying to outlast her friend so you could make a move later. I don't know. But honestly if a girl just invited herself over, then proceeded to just sit on my bed "studying", I'd probably be unhappy too.
no offense, but as an outsider reading this story, if I had to study, I'm going home to do it. Only reason me at 20 years old is asking a girl if I can come over is to hopefully get some. Me at 38, still probably not doing it unless we're working on a collaborative project that requires both of us to work together.
Disrespect? Read the room, my guy. Don't invite yourself over next time and take it as disrespect when your friend that clearly has trouble speaking her mind has to try and keep somebody else awake just to "chaperone". Ask yourself what you may have done this night or in the past that would make her feel uncomfortable with this situation. Something tells me this "casual relationship" is an uneven thing, where one of you believes it's more than it is.
Potential_Trifle4162: i didnt exactly invite myself over! we have had a fight before and she wanted to meet me anyways! since i was nearby her place so i asked if we could meet. its same when she is out and around my place she calls me if i wanted to see her ! thanks tho, might have been situation but i try to behave properly around anyone if they dont feel well i leave.
Clarka3: not knowing the full details involved, I can't exactly make a judgement one way or the other.
I would say, though, that going forward be mindful of the area you meet up. Hanging out in a bedroom always has different overtones than say, a coffee shop.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1659044629 | 1659068912 | t3_wam9wu | t5_2to41 | 6 | DatFatCat2018: TIFU by fighting the annoying carrot kid
I (13M) went to a summer beach camp and quickly made some friends (13M). One day, this annoying, short and fat carrot head kid (13M) showed up to the camp. He immediately got on everyone’s nerves by telling annoying, childish jokes, doing annoying, childish things, and looking for attention non stop. This kid is at least a few inches shorter than everyone and consists of pure bone, skin and fat. We came up with the name “carrot cunt” and it bugged him big. Our camp sometimes goes into the water for swim time. This usually consists of us going out past the waves to swim and dive. So this kid continues to seek attention from our whole group of friends during deep swim time, when we go out far into the water, where it is real deep. Our friend group forms a circle and we all discuss what we should do. We discuss diving down to grab sand and dump it on his head, splash him, curse him out, or push him. Then I come up with the idea to dive down grab his leg and drag him to the bottom of the ocean. My friend dares me to do it and I don’t shy away. We count to three and I dive down, deep down, then swim up and get a death grip on his lower leg. Then I swim down towards the bottom of the ocean. I get down about 15 feet then I decide to let go, not wanting to actually get a kill during a public camp. He swims back up fast and, according to my friends, gasps for air and freaks out. I swim up and laugh hard, telling his dumb ass that it was just me, not a shark. He freaks out and slaps me. My friends egg me on, asking if I was gonna just let carrot cunt get away with slapping me. I flip, and beat his head and face with my two fists. He tries to fight back, but I get him light headed then let go and we swim away and have a nice rest of our day. Turns out the little ratting shit told the camp counselors everything and now I got called in and now I am banished from the camp and everyone is pissed. This is not what I expected. But now I’m fucked.
TL;DR. Beat the annoying carrot top kid and now I’m screwed
OKIESMO: Good. Hope you learned a lesson.
DatFatCat2018: Yeah I gotta get dirt next time so they don’t snitch
OKIESMO: Maybe when your brain is done developing. Until then 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
DatFatCat2018: Ok bud
OKIESMO: It’ll be alright babychild
DatFatCat2018: It’s been alright dumbass
OKIESMO: Sounds like it
| 8 | 0.75 | |
1659044314 | 1659046749 | t3_wam5a7 | t5_2to41 | 495 | JustcantResist_: TIFU By bringing my car to the mechanic for dripping pink liquid from its exhaust pipe
This is a pretty funny story actually. I had just finished bringing groceries in from the trunk of my car. My mother had been helping me. Something caught my eye as I was closing the trunk. The exhaust pipe of my MAZDA6 sedan was dripping some strange pink liquid onto the asphalt. I was floored. I had no idea what to think. Since when did exhaust pipes drip pink fluid? I have a mechanic that I’m good friends with down right down the street, so I drove my car a few houses down to the mechanic shop.
Now, I admit I know nothing about cars. But this liquid was some bright pink, almost fluorescent looking crap. I needed an opinion, mostly out of curiosity. The mechanic took a look inside of the pipe and said that it wasn’t coming from inside of the car, since the fluid was just on the edge of the pipe. A few minutes later, my mom had called asking where I went. I explained the situation and she burst out laughing. Turns out, my mom had a purplish-pink Starbucks drink in her hand while she was taking groceries out of the trunk. She forgot about it, and when she leaned over, a good amount of the drink had fallen onto my car and at the very edge of my tailpipe. It’s a silly story, but we all had a good laugh over it. P.S. (Don’t crucify me for not knowing about cars!)
TL;DR: I brought my car to the mechanic for dripping pink mystery fluid from the tailpipe, but it just turned out to be some spilled Starbucks drink.
ninteen74: My first guess before reading the story was antifreeze, which would be serious. Good on you for being cautious though
JustcantResist_: Oh wow, so stuff other than condensation does leak out of the tail pipe? I learned something new today.
ninteen74: If the engine block or heads break, then yes. Those are very bad things.
| 4 | 123.75 | |
1659044467 | 1659046035 | t3_wam7ko | t5_2to41 | 12 | GoatsWithWigs: TIFU by letting a cockroach in the downstairs closet
This happened today, about half an hour ago. A little background information, I’m 20 and I live with my parents and siblings, and I happen to have a very bad fear of cockroaches thanks to the many horrible encounters I’ve had with them as a kid. Well, today was the epitome of my fear getting the best of me because as I opened the door to the garage so I could take out the trash, I suddenly saw an American cockroach on the door, and my first instinct was to just scream at the top of my lungs and slam the door shut as fast as possible, but the roach was faster than the door so it got in. I only had a few seconds to think at this point and my heart was racing, I ran as fast as I could to get a cup to trap it with and some spray to try and stun it, but by the time I got back the roach was already going into the closet right next to the door to the garage, and it crawled between a stack of heavy bins and the wall, it was now completely out of sight and now I have to deal with the fact that there’s a fucking ROACH, of all things, living downstairs now. My dad and I are planning to trap it in the closet by temporarily sealing the bottom of the door and then poisoning it when it gets thirsty. I’m so annoyed at the fact that this cockroach just HAD to be on the fucking door of all places, it’s like it knew exactly what it was doing, like it was waiting for me to open that door, like it knew it would have time to escape into a nearby dark place because of how much I’d freak out, it’s so convenient I want to say that it’s downright diabolical, even though I know that roaches are just insects who probably actually don’t have such capacity. Still, I fucking hate them and they terrify me, I can’t believe that it got in and I just wish I could’ve smashed it with a nearby shoe instead of retreating and freaking out. It’s scary to see a cockroach, but it’s even scarier to see it and then not see it
TL;DR I let a cockroach inside because I was too scared to think straight, it ended up scurrying deep in our storage closet
TheRealReapz: >now I have to deal with the fact that there’s a fucking ROACH, of all things, living downstairs now.
I hate to break it to you, but seeing one cockroach usually indicates there are more around that you can't see. My dad was a pest controller for 20 years and I went with him to some jobs and saw this in person.
>I suddenly saw an American cockroach
How did you know it was American? Did it have a gun?
GoatsWithWigs: I’m aware that cockroaches live in our garage, they just don’t infest our house because our house is way less moist than the garage. Also I can tell it was an American cockroach because of its size and because of the coloring of its thorax, it had a sideways crescent-shaped tan-colored marking which is what American cockroaches have. In general I just know right away whether or not cockroaches are American or German or burrowing just because of how many I’ve encountered in my life
| 3 | 4 | |
1659045885 | 1659047823 | t3_wamsh2 | t5_2to41 | 10 | throwaway028315: TIFU caught naked in uni building
TIFU by sleeping in classroom naked and getting caught by a teacher
fellas i legit fucked up. i decided to her high today and when i say i do stupid things whole high I MEANT IT.
my uni is super hot during the summer, the only exception is the art wing building. i have been sneaking in and claimed and empty, no window classroom as my new bedroom at night.well today i decided to get some cool cool time and legit took off all my clothes while laying on the floor. mind you this fucking classroom has no lock and i have no desk or whatsoever against because i thought i was the only one in the building alone. NO. NO.
just now an art professor /staff/custodian straight iup opened the door. i was NAKED AND HAD NO TIME TO REACT and just said sorry,. i saw her/him WALK OUT ASAP WHILE I WAS STILL PROCESSING FBR WHOLE THINF.
my tits were out. everything. before i had the sense to wrap my shirt around .
I AM MORTIFIED AND NOW SO AFRAID THAT PERSON WIULD REPORT ME AND I WOULD GET KICKED OUT OR WORSE. I am getting my hair dyed to bright pink and getting super short hair and promised myself to not wear any similar outfit to what i was wearing today. I'm fucking mortified . i will be wearing a mask going anywhere now. god i want to kill my self.
this is not a joke, this is so fucking embarrassing and i'm not gettinghigh anytime soon .
but yeah i guess this is funny. so . here you god reddit
TL;DR: caught naked by staff member when i was sleeping in university building (when I SHOULD NOT BE HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE). giving myself a make over to attempt to mitigate the damage. hopefully they do not recognize me.
Simple-Inevitable123: Lmao they didn't see your face and they walked out. They have no intention of reporting you. Be smarter but move on. You're good 👍
throwaway028315: THE THING IS I THINK THEY DID. AND now after the shock i'm 90% sure is one of my art professors next semester that i have to interact with almost on a daily basis. jesus fucking christ i'm so fucked
Simple-Inevitable123: Think of how many face they see a day. They all begun to merge and everyone kinda looks the same... mind you, most people are clothed so you do kinda stick out there... but you said they basically immediately turned around and walked out, right? I doubt your professor will recognize you next semester. And if they do, they probably won't bring it up to you just in case they're wrong
throwaway028315: i am so scared. so fucking scared. but thank you.
| 5 | 2 | |
1659045947 | 1659047009 | t3_wamte1 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: tifu by getting my girlfriend killed
[deleted]
[deleted]: I really hope this a joke.
Ihavelostmytowel: Unfortunately it's like 50/50
[deleted]: Smells like BS to me, but on the other end it's Reddit. Also, what do your powerups do?
Ihavelostmytowel: Just tell everyone I talk too much lol
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1659049115 | 1659098272 | t3_wao26u | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally violating the geneva convention while trying to remove some stains
[deleted]
Various-Set1029: Bleach + H2O2 = oxygen table salt and heat. Toilet bowl cleaner is basically bleach just a lot stronger. Out of the household chemicals bleach is #1 to not mix with anything else unless you know your chemistry.
Abbot_of_Cucany: Many toilet bowl cleaners contain hydrochloric acid. (The acid is good for removing mineral scale). If you mix them with bleach, you get chlorine gas as one of the results.
NaClO + 2 HCl = **Cl₂** \+ H₂O + NaCl
Some brands (e.g. Lysol Power Cleaner) contain hydrochloric acid, which others (e.g. Clorox) are made with bleach, so even those should not be mixed.
Various-Set1029: Yeah that makes a lot of sense.
| 4 | 7.75 |
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