start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1659385498 | 1659385962 | t3_wdri0l | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by swiping on my girlfriend’s phone NSFW
[deleted]
GrindingNeverStops: I’ve seen this exact post before, plus looking at all the posts you’ve made recently it’s pretty obvious you just want karma/rewards
k4rmeh: I was just thinking this, I have read this exact post also
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1659386677 | 1659391565 | t3_wdrzgs | t5_2to41 | 30 | TheHoppyCamper: TIFU by honking at people running a red light
Was driving back from work today when I hit a red light about 10 minutes from home.
Its one of those lights that all the locals know because it takes forever to turn green, so when I saw it go from green to yellow to red right as I pulled up all I could do was sigh
A few minutes go by and I see the light finally turn yellow on the cross road
A few cars ran the yellow as usual and then it flicked to red. Taking my foot off the brake I started to inch forward in anticipation when another car, followed by another, and another drove straight through the red light.
It was now green on my side and at this point another car went through so I slammed on the horn and held it as two more cars went by. The cars behind me chimed in and then I saw it
A hearse, followed by a minivan and other cars full of grieving family members staring right at me in rage and grief as they passed through the intersection.
They had their hazards on and all but since I was looking at the light and not the cars I had completely failed to notice
All I could do was take my hand off the horn and hang my head in shame as the rest of them passed through and my light turned back to red
Ive never felt more ashamed in my life
TLDR: I made an already traumatic and sad funeral process even more painful and frustrating for those involved while on my way home from work
Edit: when I say I hit the horn, what I mean is that I reallyyy laid into that thing
Edit 2: there was no police escort but I was under the impression that funeral processions get the right of way regardless
AdHouriTor: Since when does going to a funeral mean that you can ignore traffic laws? Not a fuck up in my opinion.
That is just asking for an accident.
TheHoppyCamper: Funeral processions at least here always have the right of way. They are often accompanied by a police escort at the start and rear but that wasn’t the case with this one. I simply missed the hazard lights and window flags
AdHouriTor: Oh yeah, here that would be highly illegal.
1Sluggo: Where are you? I’m in Cincinnati and funeral processions always have the right of way, regardless of the light color. Usually they have a cop to help control the flow.
AdHouriTor: UK and there's no such thing here. Could even imagine having to doubt every green light just in case there was a procession.
iHomelessMonkey: If my light was green and I knew theirs was red I would be fucking seething
| 7 | 4.285714 | |
1659387410 | 1659387756 | t3_wdsa9f | t5_2to41 | 8 | Celestialfridge: TIFU by making the spiciest meal I've ever eaten
So got home, had some left over rice from dinner the night before, had some jerk seasoning I'd picked up when was BBQ season and never used it.
So throw together some frozen southern fried chicken toss in half the jar of seasoning put in the oven then mix up the rest with some yogurt as a sauce for it and at this point I try it.
Holy shit it's hot, at this point chickens nearly done and rice is ready so put it together and eat it, because momma didn't raise no bitch, two mouthfuls in I'm sweating, tearing up. Persevere through it and can't feel my face.
So now I'm on the sofa slowly melting and panting while necking a litre of milk and trying not to break down in tears.
Any advice greatly appreciated to deal with what's gonna be a painful morning.
TL:dr accidentally ate all of a jar of jerk seasoning and to put it lightly am in pain.
twohedwlf: Why would you think half the jar is the correct amount to use?
Celestialfridge: It wasn't a huge jar and had just made my partner some pesto pasta and was on autopilot I guess.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1659382595 | 1659394711 | t3_wdqbfn | t5_2to41 | 8 | because_of_ghosts: TIFU by telling a story that hurt someone’s feelings
TIFU by telling a story that made someone feel insecure.
I’ll probably get banned from the sub for this but I have nothing left to post here.
Yesterday I posted a story about the worst experience of my life. Lots of people liked it (and overnight with a bit of sleuthing one Redditor was able to find out my name, and the names of the people involved. I thank that redditor for asking me directly about it rather than publicly. I’m genuinely impressed (though in my original post I had said the year and the city I lived in as well as my position on the school newspaper, I imagine it wouldn’t have taken long to track me down).
Unfortunately, about 7 hours after the post went live, and around 6k upvotes, the post was removed. I was not told that it was being removed, nor did I receive any notification that it was removed or even why it was removed. I only found out from direct messages.
In the intervening couple of hours, I was DM’d and asked by (now close to 100) a number of people for the story. I provided it. A few asked why it was deleted. I messaged every mod of the sub I was able to, as well as reached out to the Reddit admin team about it, though no responses has been provided. A search of the top posts of all time in the sub reveal quite a few like mine, some several years old. So it seems I didn’t violate any sub rules.
Then someone suggested that the post was removed because one of the mods is an incel. I don’t know if that’s true, but only an incel would see a story like that and get caught up on one small, ultimately unimportant detail and say to themselves “this could never happen to me so it could never happen to anyone”.
So for the people who are familiar with mods who go on power trips (probably why this sub has gotten so shitty in the last couple of years, and NONE of the rules are enforced except arbitrarily) if you want the whole story, I’ve been sending it to anyone who asks and will send it to you.
tl;dr posted a story that got too popular, sub mod got jealous and removed the post, provided no explanation why, and refuses to respond to appeals.
Update: to the dozen or so people who have messaged me since this post and are now sharing this story far and wide, you’re all the absolute best.
Update 2: after 24 hours, the story has gone out to something like an additional 100 people. I’m pretty stoked.
To the sub mod that’s been watching this and downvoting any comment anyone posts…that’s just sad. Get over it.
Pain4444: What subreddit is this that you posted in?
because_of_ghosts: this one.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1659391383 | 1659391835 | t3_wdtvvw | t5_2to41 | 36 | crlikesjazz: Tifu by ruining my moms vacuum
Backstory: I (17m) had a huge water jug in my back seat for marching band rehearsal that spilled while I was driving. I figured it would be alright if I let it dry. It wasn't. It formed a bunch of mildew which I sprayed vinegar on to clean. As I was cleaning it I realized it smelled shockingly similar to vomit. I remember I had thrown up in the exact spot 9 years ago. I realized I was cleaning up resurfaced vomit. I figured baking soda would help to soak it up so I put a generous amount on it. The baking soda was now stuck in the carpet so I used a brush to soften it and make it vacuumable. HUGE MISTAKE. The baking soda caked on the edges of the vacuum hose and I am now freaking out while writing this because she'll be home in about 20 minutes. She already had a stressful day at work and now she has to come home to this. Of course when I try to clean it has to backfire.
TL;DR: I vacuumed up baking soda paste whoched caked on to the vacuum cleaner
crowleyoccultmaster: Bro why did you cum in the vacuum?
crlikesjazz: HUHH
| 3 | 12 | |
1659387337 | 1659402852 | t3_wds990 | t5_2to41 | 489 | ValyrianJedi: TIFU by missing a meeting because I flew to the wrong city.
I have to travel a boatload for work, something like 100+ nights a year in hotels, so it can kind of all run together and I don't pay a ton of notice to it anymore. The office handles the bookings and all so I really just have to show up.
The main places I go are NYC, Dallas, Seattle, San Francisco, and Atlanta, with a couple random others thrown in.
I had a few day trip hitting Dallas and Seattle so got on a plane this morning, flew to Dallas, hopped off, and grabbed an Uber to the hotel I usually stay at there. Figured I'd lounge around and get some work done for a bit before a late afternoon meeting.The hotel said I wasn't supposed to be there until two nights from then. Turns out that I was supposed to be in Seattle. I had layover in Dallas, and just out of habit saw the Dallas Airport so hopped out and grabbed an Uber instead of catching the second leg of the flight... I did not make the meeting.
TLDR: I thought my layover was my destination so skipped a flight and missed a meeting because I was on the wrong side of the country.
adapt2: I would take it as a vacation and go out on town to enjoy. Screw the meeting.
ValyrianJedi: Eh, it was literally 100 degrees, so getting on to Seattle ASAP seemed like a much better plan ha.
missestater: Hate to be the one to say it, it is also about 100 here in Seattle. We have had a record breaking week of heat.
ValyrianJedi: Huh. My weather app is showing it in the high 70s
missestater: Today is the first day it did not actually hit 100. It’s been a super hot week. They callin the heat dome
| 6 | 81.5 | |
1659391876 | 1659393039 | t3_wdu2wb | t5_2to41 | 43 | Peachfuzz124: TIFU by asking my girlfriend for risqué photos
It all started around a month ago. I (15M) asked my girlfriend (15F) for some photos, non nude, just teasing photos. It was all chill until this morning.
I got a text from my dad saying “we need to talk” so I asked him what it was all about and he basically said he knew that I had asked my girlfriend for photos.
I asked him how he knew and he said my mother (43F) texted him saying that I had asked. My dad doesn’t mind he thinks it’s normal to be curious and stuff.
So I texted my mother saying she’s not only cheap, but low. And said that my life is my life and she needs to keep her head out of it. She said that’s she’s dammed either way so I asked if that means she’s going to hell anyway
But she also texted my girlfriends mom saying the exact same thing. So my girlfriend told me she said this and showed me the texts and my girlfriend said that she felt forced to send those.
I felt so betrayed because one of my best friends just threw me under the bus like that. I was so hurt I couldn’t even process anything.
My dad ended up calling me saying that she’s probably just saying that as a defense to not getting in trouble. I later asked her and she said she did feel pressured and that she felt forced to send those.
We aren’t going to break up but I feel like this will make our relationship start to decile a little.
So now her mom is mad at me my mom is angered I’m absolutely livid about this because it’s not her life and she should keep her nastay ass out of it. She should have never texted anyone saying that.
My mother texted my girlfriend saying I blame said girlfriend for things which isn’t correct at all.
Now my girlfriend feels like a slut and whore for sending those photos.
TL;DR: I asked my girlfriend for photos of her in a bra and my mom went through my phone and saw those and texted everyone saying she saw those
Edit: My parents are divorced
Upvotes4Trump: Dude you're 15. Your mother has every right to be all up in your business, and I would have beat your ass if I was your dad and you talked to your mother that way. Have some respect. I've been in your shoes, andnwhen you get older you'll understand your mother's job is not to be your friend, it's to protect you and raise you right, and she will NOT be perfect at it, but shes doing her best. One day when your mother is gone you'll look back at how you treated her and you will feel terrible about it.
You should apologize, tell her you love her, and Express to her you would like more personal space, apologize to your girlfriend and to her mother for being young and dumb and that you didn't think through your actions.
apexncgeek: If I could upvote this 10 times I would.
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1659394552 | 1659456742 | t3_wdv4gu | t5_2to41 | 146 | Wild4fire: TIFU trying to improve cooling on a laptop I intended to sell...
I've got a laptop I intended to sell and two days ago, I thought "let's clean it up a bit and while I'm at it, I might as well replace the thermal paste". Well, I have some Thermal Grizzly Conductonaut (liquid metal thermal paste) so I used that. Completely forgetting that it is NOT to be used with aluminum heatsinks.
Guess what material the heatsink of the laptop was made of...
So today I went to replace the SSD with a larger one I had, but thankfully I hadn't put the cover back on the laptop yet. That's why I was able to see a lot of brownish sandlike stuff. Examining the laptop, I discovered the heatsink had literally disappeared. The liquid metal thermal paste had reduced the heatsink to dust. :(
I am not happy now.
The TIFU is perhaps tempered by the fact that there seems to be no damage beyond the reduced-to-dust heatsink itself, so with a replacement I've already ordered I might be able to get things up and running again. Otherwise this TIFU is going to need a follow-up later on.
---
TL;DR used liquid metal thermal paste on aluminum laptop heatsink, heatsink literally reduced to dust :(
---
UPDATE two weeks later: the replacement heatsink has finally arrived. Just installed it and the laptop lives again! :)
trapperjohn3400: Liquid metal in a laptop is a no no anyways because the constant moving around of the laptop will shake it out and cause shorts
Wild4fire: Thankfully it doesn't really work that way. Liquid metal thermal paste is quite sticky so that helps staying in place. Also I used Thermal Grizzly Shield, a non-conductive coating to protect important stuff near the CPU.
Juggletrain: I'm no expert but I choose to believe the dude that didntbjust melt his heat sink
Gordwait: Maybe the paste just dissolved the aluminum?
Mercury will dissolve gold for example..
Juggletrain: That's likely, Aluminum burns at 3600+ Fahrenheit, and aluminium burns at 2000 degrees celsius for all you metric people out there.
Probably a chemical reaction in that case.
| 6 | 24.333333 | |
1659392280 | 1659397621 | t3_wdu8oe | t5_2to41 | 136 | WistfulAether: TIFU by not paying attention while making a smoothie
So I make a smoothie for lunch pretty much every day, with more or less the same ingredients in it: some frozen fruit, yogurt, juice, ice, and protein powder. I was rushing making it today, because I was trying to get back to a multiplayer game I was in the middle of. I was at the very end of my protein powder jug, which comes with a little plastic scoop to act as a reasonable serving size for the protein. I put the powder in and I thought I put the scoop back in the empty jar.
When I turned on the blender, I noticed that there was something stuck rattling around. The blender I use is nearly 10 years old and often has trouble blending these smoothies, and so I didn't think anything of it, it was probably just some ice, so I stopped it, shook it a bit, and tried again. After doing this one more time, again still trying to rush and not giving it a second thought, eventually everything blended together just fine.
I poured it, and immediately upon drinking some noticed some crunchy bits of something in the smoothie. This is where I think most people would think to not drink it, but I somehow thought that again, it was probably fine, just something that didn't blend perfectly. The fact that I had some trouble blending reaffirmed this idea, and it tasted fine anyways.
It was only after about 3/4 of the drink (the full thing is around 24 ounces) that I looked more closely at the smoothie and realized that whatever those bits were did not look like ice, or anything I would normally put in. This is when it dawned on me what it could be, so I went over to check and surely enough, the plastic protein powder scoop was gone. I somehow not only managed to not realize I was blending it in the first place, not even be possibly suspicious of it, but then not question the obvious plastic chunks in the smoothie until it was almost gone, basically eating the entire thing.
I did some googling and it seems I'll be fine, but I am honestly still in disbelief that it didn't occur to me sooner, and I feel insanely stupid, I'm just glad it wasn't something much more toxic that I dropped in there without thinking, based on my lack of awareness it could have been anything. I suppose that is one way to get rid of it.
tl;dr: blended the plastic scoop from my protein powder into my smoothie, thought it was just ice and drank almost the entire thing
Gorddammit: Speedrunning microplastic uptake over there eh?
technicalitrees: They're levelling up to macroplastics as we speak
| 3 | 45.333333 | |
1659398325 | 1659410731 | t3_wdwinm | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting part of a Christian cross stuck in my bladder
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: The first lesson they teach you in Sunday School is to not use art projects for masturbation. We’re you absent that day? I recommend you post this story, word for word, to r/Catholicism to see what advice they have
laziestbanana: Advice? It has happened 20 years ago
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1659398486 | 1659406526 | t3_wdwl1j | t5_2to41 | 6 | _IceWizard_: TIFU by telling my GF I wish she was slimmer
Obligatory; this happened a few days ago. However I'm still in the recovering process...
I told her that I wish she was slimmer like the idiot I am, and honestly idk why. I love her deeply and I accept her for who she is, inside and out. I couldn't care less if I saw her tomorrow and she looked 50lbs heavier. She's still and will always be the person I want to support and and be with each and every single day. And it was the same for her too.
But now that's changed.
We've talked and she's told me that she doesn't feel the same love we shared before, and I can't but help cry at the thought of how much I've fucked it up for us.
She's willing to make it work still and still wants to talk, text, go on dates, and be affectionate together, but at the same time she said she can't promise anything.
I'm going to give it my all and be the best I can be for her and myself, but part of me can't stop thinking about how if this doesn't turn out for the best, I screwed up the greatest thing I had going for me all over some stupid comment I made towards her body. And thought of it scares me. A lot.
A few things I want to mention before anyone asks:
- She's not at an unhealthy weight by no means at all, she has a slight chub but nothing that would make her ever seem "unattractive" to me (not that I would find an issue with it to begin with)
- We've been dating for almost a month now but we've known each other for many years and very open with each other.
- If you feel the need to insult me for being the dumbass I am, let her rip. I definitely feel like I deserve to be called out on my choices. But at the same time, advice and personal stories that you think would help me is greatly appreciated.
Thanks ya'll :)
TL;DR basically called my gf fat and now she doesn't feel the same about me anymore
z-eldapin: Chub?
You clearly haven't learned your lesson.
_IceWizard_: I'm just calling it what we've called it together in the past. Sorry
AngrySchnitzels75: I’ve had that said to me.
I know it’s healthy to express your views in a relationship but this is a dealbreaker kind of fu. There’s soo much pressure on body standards these days and I don’t think it’s gotten any better in the half century I’ve been alive, tbh.
Do you really want this girl, this relationship? You’re going to have to show her you love **her** and not the ideal weight you expect in life, imo.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1659399734 | 1659401896 | t3_wdx150 | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by Masturbating to my Best Friend
[deleted]
doctorhino: You realize her Mom just made it up, there is no witchcraft.
lazyboy9898: EDIT #2: I'm not trynna create drama so whatever, idc
crispy1989: Built-in human biases make us extremely susceptible to belief in this kind of thing. There are a great many logical fallacies that are easy to fall into and are well-known as the actual "explanations" for paranormal stuff.
That being said; if this actually is real (it's not), [they can easily make a crapton of money](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_prizes_for_evidence_of_the_paranormal). If this is actually real, it would be completely insane to not go for these prizes :)
lazyboy9898: Yoooo, that's wild! Imma make them prove it and get myself a cut, haha
crispy1989: Please do and report back! If they refuse, you'll know they're just making it up (if they belief in it themselves, there's absolutely no reason they wouldn't go for this). And if they agree, then you'll find out once and for all experimentally if they're delusional. Either way, this will be a great way to figure it out.
lazyboy9898: Ya know, I might legitimately convince them to go. I would love to see them claim a prize. From this moment onwards, I am 100% a believer (i want that money)
I will share with you the results if we follow through
crispy1989: "Belief" of any kind is rarely if ever good; all ideas, assumptions, and conclusions should be tested experimentally to determine the likelihood of truth. And the great thing about this experiment is that it provides valuable insight regardless of whether they want to follow through or not - a refusal to participate provides nearly as much information as the experimental result itself.
| 8 | 3.875 | |
1659398257 | 1659402512 | t3_wdwhsq | t5_2to41 | 32 | Technical_Watch2137: Tifu by brushing my teeth with anti itch cream.
I am visiting my boyfriends grandparents house and I didn’t bring my own toothpaste. I thought it would be a waste of bag space since I’d only be here a couple of days and they have toothpaste.
So I just open a drawer in in the bathroom and see a large tube of what looks like toothpaste and get to brushing. I was thinking wow this doesn’t taste like usually tooth paste but chalked it up to old people stuff. When I’m rinsing and spitting it out it won’t come off my teeth or out of my mouth like usual toothpaste. At this point I actually read the tube… anti itch cream.
I freak out and start brushing my teeth over and over with actual toothpaste (in the drawer over). I go back into our room crying with amusement and embarrassment and tell my boyfriend what happened. He laughed at me a bit but I for sure found it funnier.
TLDR: basically the title plus me crying with laughter and embarrassment.
semiautomaticmind: When I was climbing Mt Aconcagua (*from the Chilean side*), on the day of our summit attempt, we had to wake up in the wee hours & start our ascent in the dark.
One of the guys in my group had started brushing his teeth when he started screaming; instead of grabbing his toothpaste, he had grabbed his tube of IcyHot.
Technical_Watch2137: HAHAHAHA NOOO much much worse 😭😭
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1659403061 | 1659452994 | t3_wdy84b | t5_2to41 | 2,405 | burneracc183873: TIFU by ordering 100 plastic guillotines from Alibaba
Context: Alibaba is a site where you can bulk order items straight for the manufactures so if you find something you want tonnes of really cheap with a bit of pricy shipping, it’s perfect. Everything is usually sold in sets of 100, 500 and 1000, with every increase making the product cheaper.
Anyway, i downloaded the app for my phone while without my inhibitions at a party. I somehow got onto the topic of explaining what Alibaba was to a guy and so downloaded it to scroll and show him. Later on i headed to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink basically just watching my thumb tap over things on the screen until i caught sight of these baby pink and portable guillotines, £0.5424 pence each. I immediately fell in love and had to have them, so i decided i’d order 10 because i was sure my friends would love them too. I manage to tap my way through the complex system of Alibaba, signing myself in, scanning my card, talking to the seller etc etc. After some expensive shipping i leave the bathroom with a big smile and whisper to my friend that i have a surprise for her later in the week. The night continues but i don’t make any more purchases and eventually find my way to sleep.
I wake up, go about my day until i get a notification for the shipping of my 100 tiny £0.5424 pence guillotines in the afternoon. I remember everything but am confused about the quantity so i check my balance and yes. I had really bought 100 of them. 10x the amount i wanted. So if anyone needs to cut paper on the go, let me know and one can be yours from £0.5424 pence once they arrive on Thursday.
TL;DR: I now own 100 portable guillotines
brisbydog: I need to see a picture of the wee pink guillotine please
Stt022: I looked. In my mind it was a finger size guillotine to chop a cigar (or a finger) but looked like a miniature beheading device. I think it’s just one of these:
https://m.alibaba.com/product/1600132529454/12-inch-Paper-Trimmer-Office-A4.html?__detailProductImg=https%3A%2F%2Fs.alicdn.com%2F%40sc04%2Fkf%2FH88434df6747c480eba64911391fc25b0R.jpg_200x200.jpg
Emergency-Hyena5134: OP what the fuck!
You didn't buy guillotines. You bought paper cutters! How do you fuck up the most important part of your story? And not just once, but you said it over and over. Fuck OP!
WhisperedEchoes85: Did you even look at the item description in the link?
Also:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/guillotine
>a shearing machine or instrument (such as a paper cutter) that in action resembles a guillotine.
dialemformurder: Yes, but your definition says "that in action resembles a guillotine", and OP's does not. A guillotine paper cutter has an arm with a blade that chops down to cut paper, and OP's has a fixed blade that slides along a ruler. It does not have any action remotely like a guillotine.
WhisperedEchoes85: You're being too pedantic.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paper_cutter
>A paper cutter, also known as a paper guillotine or simply a guillotine, is a tool often found in offices and classrooms, designed to administer straight cuts to single sheets or large stacks of paper at once.
>A variant design uses a wheel-shaped blade mounted on a sliding shuttle attached to a rail.
>An even simpler design uses double-edged blades which do not rotate, but cut like a penknife. While cheaper, this design is not preferable for serious work due to its tendency to tear paper, and poor performance with thick media.
dialemformurder: Hmm, I'm not sure. I'm not the one posting multiple definitions, when the actual point of this thread is people feeling disappointed that OP is talking about boring paper cutters instead of bizarre miniature beheading machines.
WhisperedEchoes85: >I'm not the one posting multiple definitions
You *are* aware that many words have multiple definitions, right?
>when the actual point of this thread is people feeling disappointed that OP is talking about boring paper cutters instead of bizarre miniature beheading machines.
Yes, that may be the point of this thread, but it stems from ignorance of one of the modern uses for the word "guillotine". It would be like insisting that the word "skirt" can only be in reference to an article of clothing, even though it also applies to the lower branches of a tree or even the portion of my driveway between the curb and street.
Willful ignorance and the refusal to acknowledge modern applications of words does not make someone clever. A guillotine is more than just a machine used for beheading people, and insulting OP for having a better understanding of that is simply juvenile.
dialemformurder: Where did I insult OP? I'm honestly just so confused by the hostility here.
WhisperedEchoes85: You didn't. I was referring to the general context of this portion of the thread that stemmed from someone else saying;
>OP what the fuck!
>You didn't buy guillotines. You bought paper cutters! How do you fuck up the most important part of your story? And not just once, but you said it over and over. Fuck OP!
I suppose I could have chosen my words more carefully. I apologize.
dialemformurder: OK, thank you. I thought you were calling me juvenile, not the other poster. And others are criticising me too, I think because they think I'm the person you quoted above? It's been a wild ride.
I know guillotine is correct; my point was just that a paper trimmer is a less exciting purchase than what I (and apparently many others!) assumed OP had purchased at first. And I say this as someone who owns two roller-type ones and a chopping-type guillotine. They're very useful, but oh, it would've been a much more amusing story if OP had purchased 100 minis of the other type!
WhisperedEchoes85: Lol to be honest, I might have offered to buy a few if it was what most people were thinking. I could keep one in my shop, my office and even my kitchen!
I think the problem with everyone's reaction is that they are all (or mostly) Westerners. In much of Europe and elsewhere, paper cutters are called a guillotine. There's nothing inherently wrong with that ignorance aside from the hostility that stemmed from it in many of the comments. Ignorance is only an opportunity to learn, not a opportunity to be so hateful.
dialemformurder: I doubt this post would have as many upvotes if it weren't for a lot of mistaken assumptions about the word!
There's a (paper cutting) guillotine next to my desk that's almost large enough to behead a person, and still I thought of the other version first and clicked thinking "What on earth?? I have to know more about these mini beheading machines" lol.
| 14 | 171.785714 | |
1659403682 | 1659403881 | t3_wdygku | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by not listening to a guy on tik tok
[deleted]
Infinit_Jests: >>*scarred
>>*you’re
declanspilar: thanks, will change
| 3 | 0 | |
1659405102 | 1659485288 | t3_wdyz5f | t5_2to41 | 31,297 | YuckEyo3s5: TIFU by accidentally telling a girl to give me a blowjob
This happened around a week ago.
I was having rehearsals for marching band for the entire week. I made a friend who we shall call butt. She has the seat next to me when we are rehearsing our music and we hit it off pretty well since we have similar interests. She is a very good player but she does not play loud enough. I tried to help her by jokingly trying to get her mad by saying some silly insult such as “you don’t know the answer to 5x5”. It became a bit of a running joke between us.
At the end of one of the rehearsals we were talking and I said “you don’t know what 5x5 is”.
She preceded to say, “I’m going to kick you”
I responded with “No blow me”
Her eyes widened and she started to turn kinda red. I realized what I said and tried to save myself by saying “I meant blow at me”, but the damage was already done. I put my head in my hands in shame and apologized profusely. Luckily she knew what I was trying to say and was cool with it, and patted me on the back saying that it was ok. It could’ve gone a lot worse, but luckily it didn’t.
TL;DR: I accidentally told a girl to blow me during a casual conversation.
vercertorix: (Getting older just by saying this) Back in my day, “blow me” and “screw you” were common comebacks.
Altiverses: Wait, it isn't popular to say blow me anymore??? I don't understand this TIFU. I am not even old by any means.
LackedSaucer938: I'm pretty sure people I know still say these things lmao. Lick my balls is super popular
Ruzenu: The kids nowadays say ligma balls
LackedSaucer938: What's ligma? Oo
Jupike9000: Joe Mama
RhombusKP: What's bofa?
holeymoley62: Steve Jobs
Riku_70X: What's SawCon?
Chonkie: Candice.
IlikeThatToo: Who's Mr. Jeblowme?
supaczech: You know rhydon? The evolve of rhyhorn?
Antartix: Do you like flowers? Plant Tulips.
Dark_Reaper115: Have you heard the lastest D&D creature? The Mind Goblin?
wheelow: Do you prefer snowbunnies or slawbunnies?
Theory721: Are those skiing in the French Balsagnes?
| 17 | 1,841 | |
1659405321 | 1659457998 | t3_wdz1xh | t5_2to41 | 294 | Few_Employer189: TIFU by beating my father
My father (51M) and my mother (45F) had a huge fight while I was playing games, they used to fight a lot when I was a kid and well tbh those fights are the only thing that I remember from my childhood, I'm not really close with my family, Since I was 15yo I found part time job after my school, I'm not good with making friends so although I didn't need money and I should've focus on my studies I found a job just to get out of the house and not spending time with them but it doesn't mean I don't love them, after all they're my family.
When they start fighting my legs and my hands starts to shake constantly and I get very nervous it happens almost every time I see a fight anywhere like publics, at work and etc. today when they start fighting I just couldn't control myself and stay in my room so I got out to check on them and ask them if they can solve it by talking or ... but they didn't even listen to me. As I was standing there panicking and my heart was coming out of my chest my dad starts to beat my mom and that's when I totally lost the control.
I grabbed him and pushed him against the wall but he didn't care and was pushing me so he could run back to my mom and beat her again. I don't know why but I started beating him and while I was doing it I was thinking about every time in the past that he beaten my mother and ruined my life. After a few punches I let him go and took a few steps back because my legs were shaking so hard that I couldn't stand straight and I couldn't breathe either. Then he start telling me about awful things my mother have done.
He said that she cheated on him several times but he got over it because of us. I was shocked and quiet. After several minutes thinking I said "It doesn't matter what she have done a real man will never hit a women so be a man and deal with this situation like a man" then I leave the house and haven't come back yet.
I believe in what I've said but this feeling is crushing me inside. I've hit a grown ass man and made him cry and break his pride. He was a drug addict since I remember. I've never spend time with him and haven't made any memories with him. Every time I wanted to tell him what I've been doing that day or how I'm doing with my life he just said it's bad time and I should leave him alone. He didn't bought me much stuff I worked 3 years for my gaming pc and stop giving me money at the first year of high school I'm currently paying for my college and everything else. He basically never was in my life but now I feel nothing but shame and dumb and guilty. I have no idea what to do with my life at this point.
TL;DR I had to fight with my dad in order to stop him beating my mom and found out the most respectful woman wasn't who I thought she was.
Edit: I'm sorry if this post is not TIFU material. But ever time things like this happened in my family me and my brother would've step back and let them fix their issues as every one told us when we were kid. This time was different and my brother texted me few hours after I left the house and told me our mom is leaving. They both haven't called me this time and somehow I think if I didn't stand up there they would've work something out maybe because my brother haven't grow up yet.
Edit: As I said I don't have much friends, last night when I was writing this post I was just trying to get it off my chest. But now I realise that there are people like my father out there in the world but I can see that there are people like you guys out there too. Just knowing this fact makes me keep going and stand for my life and my brother's. Thank you all for your kind words.
AsOneLives: You did the right thing and should not feel bad. You should be proud. Plus, you’re just blindly accepting the word of a woman-beater and someone who was basically not in your life. I would not trust his word. I would also beat him worse if anything happens again. Shit, I’d probably do it just because at this point..
Few_Employer189: I'm not even close to believe a single word from this person
I haven't had chance to talk each of them so it's still a question in my mind
But believe me, beating a family member can't feel good anytime at any situation
AsOneLives: I grew up a little bit with an emotionally abusive/intimidating “father.” An alcoholic. I heard them fighting a lot. I would go to bat for my mom. I picked up a bat against my “father” and was ready to smash him with it at like 13. He was made to leave in that situation. I would never feel a thing about hurting that man. He’s a piece of shit who never helped us, was rarely around, and was abusive when he WAS around. He’s not a father to me. So, I don’t share your feelings. I would GLADLY hurt someone who hurts my mother.
Few_Employer189: Yeah I'm stuck between the same thing you said and mine
I also feel nothing and also feel bad
I don't even know how to explain
But thanks for sharing
AsOneLives: I hope you’re able to sort your feelings out on it and feel better soon
| 6 | 49 | |
1659405793 | 1659406256 | t3_wdz85b | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a joke in really poor taste
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: > it matched the other jokes being made
What tf were the other jokes???
maranobols_2: So my other friend was joking to r\*pe my friend who was on call with his girlfriend and that's when I said "you're not being r\*ped until you say no" and then yeah
| 3 | 1 | |
1659405554 | 1659406098 | t3_wdz4vf | t5_2to41 | 21 | slapmewithafishpls: TIFU by telling a large courtroom I do illegal drugs
TIFU by loudly admitting to illegal activities in court
So I had jury duty today and was summoned early this morning. Now over the weekend I had been consuming some minor psychedelics to relax and seek inner spirituality. Anyways, I show up and we sit down and they start the selection by telling us that it’s a criminal drug case. I get a lil nervous just cause I technically do illegal drugs, nothing hard, just stuff that’s from nature most of the time. They start asking questions, and near the end they ask if any of us have any relation to drugs. This is where the TIFU happens, I think that it will be perjury if I don’t say that I do them, so without thinking of the other possible consequences loudly state in a courtroom with the cops, the judge, and multiple lawyers, that “I do recreational marijuana and psychedelics”. The panic instantly hits me as silence fills the courtroom. The lawyer looks at me and asks if I get the marijuana from a dispensary and I say no, then what kind of psychedelics and I tell him everything (figured I’m in the hole anyways). Answered some questions like with who and when, wether or not I buy them. He then awkwardly reminds me by asking “you do know that’s illegal, right?” And I nod my head yes. The other lawyer then asked if it would affect my judgement in a meth case and I say no, and they proceeded with the juror selection. I sat and basically waited to be put in handcuffs at that point, but luckily that never happened. Needles to say I wasn’t chosen, when I got outside I quickly googled if I could even be arrested and luckily I can’t for just admitting it. Gonna have to learn to keep my mouth shut.
TL;DR I admitted to doing psychedelics and I wasn’t even the one on trial
AcrobaticSource3: “I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too!”
slapmewithafishpls: Lmao, after I answered other people said stuff like “I used to be an addict” or “my family member did/does them” and I got more of a scope of what they were actually looking for lol
| 3 | 7 | |
1659406173 | 1659407538 | t3_wdzcv9 | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU When I saw I had fired and promoted the wrong employees at my old job
[deleted]
FruitLoopsAreAwesome: Advice for the future, say something. Some poor soul is now fixing your mess. By making them chase you up, they're now even further behind. Now that's all done, whatever you do in the future, all the best.
TheWorstTypo: Please remember - doing work past a time where you are terminated is illegal - I have no way of reaching out to anyone that worked there and will explain if they reach out to me.
It s super easy to judge - but this isn't an advice column it's an admission of our mistakes.
FruitLoopsAreAwesome: I wasn't saying do work past your time. I was saying if you make a mistake and leave it, to at least mention it. If you can't, that's understandable.
TheWorstTypo: Ah, sorry I should clarify. I didn't realize the mistake until today, after I had been "termed" from the system. All of my access was disconnected, I just saw email strings. There was nothing I could've done to fix it, I just saw the repercussions
| 5 | 8.4 | |
1659409857 | 1659486882 | t3_we0n8z | t5_2to41 | 10,271 | Current_Tonight_8883: TIFU by sending my boyfriend a sext
So I recently started dating this guy and we're madly in love. We've been together for two months and have spent practically every day together since we started seeing each other. A few days ago, he went back home to Toronto to visit his parents who I haven't met yet. While he's away we've been texting occasionally throughout the day but mostly just casual conversation about what we've been up to throughout the day. So when he sent me a text with a picture of a big shower with the caption "imagine what we could do in here", I texted back "you could f#@k my brains out", thinking it would be fun to have a little flirty text conversation. Unfortunately for me, timing has never been my strong suit and when my text message came through he was in the car with his parents and his phone connected to the blue tooth and proceeded to display the text for the entire car to read.
Safe to say, I've made a great first impression...
TL;DR I thought it would be cute to send a sexy text to my new boyfriend while he is away visiting his parents. It was not cute because his phone connected to Bluetooth and his parents saw my text and now the first time I meet them they will know me as the text message girl. Sooooooooo embarrassing!!!
SLJ7: 100% his fault for sending you a suggestive message and then connecting his phone to the car without turning on do-not-disturb.
BigZmultiverse: MAYBE, but not enough info was given here. OP could have replied like 6 hours later for all we know, which would make some level of sense then. What, is he just NOT going to allow himself to receive calls while driving because of a suggestive message he sent way earlier that morning?
BooDexter1: Well yeah you shouldn’t be on the phone whilst driving.
kniki217: Bluetooth is a thing
Vitalis597: "Hands free" and "distraction free" are two completely different things.
Zpik3: True, but if you can hold a conversation with a passenger, you can talk on a headset.
Vitalis597: And now we've changed from "texting" (reading and writing) to talking on a headset.
Don't move the goalposts again, thanks.
Zpik3: I don't think that was the argument?
If it was, my bad.
But i don't see how bluetooth will help with typing and reading.
Vitalis597: Op received a text that displayed said text on a screen...
To read.
And he sent a text... With a picture....
Which you can't talk your phone into doing.
Soooo....
Zpik3: Then why on earth did you specify reading and writing?
Vitalis597: Nice edit.
No it didnt.
Read it again. Op said it SHOWED. For them to all READ. On a DISPLAY.
And I said reading and writing (your pre-edit question) because that's what texting is. Read. And writing.
Zpik3: Yeah, wasnt sure, had to check, edited again.
Recheck my comment and we can keep this going.
How does bluetooth help in your writing?
Vitalis597: It does not.
You have to pick up your phone and/or use STT to write then send the message.
Thus, not distraction free.
So... Still, using your phone while driving. Which you should not be doing. Ever. For any reason.
Unless you wanna die and murder some people with you. In which case: Fuck what you think.
Zpik3: Then why specify the writing TWICE?
Vitalis597: Why not?
Why shouldn't you say things that are stupid to do multiple times? Is it upsetting you that I'm calling out ignorant twats who like to risk everyone's lives because they don't know how to pull over and use their mobiles in a stationary position, as opposed to the much more reckless idea of texting while driving? Which incidentally has a MUCH higher mortality rate.
Zpik3: >Why not
Well as we just said, bluetooth does nothing for the writing part.
Vitalis597: Thus making it unsafe to do while driving.
Agree or disagree?
Zpik3: No we agree on not typing. But this whole thing started from the single sentence "bluetooth is a thing", to which you responded with a rant, spwcifically citing "writing".
And I still don't see the connection.
Vitalis597: No. I specifically said "It's HANDS free not DISTRACTION free."
Do you have ANY issues with people not paying attention when they're driving?
Zpik3: But how does that relate to bluetooth? And where does the writing come in?
Are you typing on your carscreen?
You shouldnt do that while driving.. even changing the radio can get risky.
Vitalis597: Okay so now it's clear you're just being deliberately dense.
Have fun with that ig. I'm out.
Zpik3: I mean... You are incapable of admitting you made a mistake by mentioning the writing.
I just wanted to see what lengths you would go to avoid having to admit that.
I must say you were commendably obstinate... But I guess that was to be expected.
| 23 | 446.565217 | |
1659412673 | 1659437391 | t3_we1l52 | t5_2to41 | -1 | Equivalent_Green_481: TIFU By showing my Offspring Affection.
[removed]
Equivalent_Green_481: For those who don’t get it: Play hollow knight
[deleted]: No
OkNecessary9926: No 2x
| 4 | -0.25 | |
1659416837 | 1659427966 | t3_we2wex | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: Tifu by sending a gif to my entite class
[removed]
ssssxcxddx: I feel like I saw almost this exact post a month or two ago.
Actually, I’m certain that this is a copied post lol.
PCDub: Agreed. That was my first thought
LtButtermilch: You see this post with varying personal every day from fresh accounts...
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1659410613 | 1659427350 | t3_we0wnd | t5_2to41 | 17 | Justasilentreader: TIFU by getting a tip from a cabbie
Mandatory didn't happen today but i still cringe to this day when i think about it.
This happened around 12 years back when i visited USA for work. As a 22 year old coming from a South Asian country, i was naive and didn't have much idea about the tipping culture so prevalent in the USA. In my country, tipping is not encouraged and a few and far cases would be a restaurant not a cab for sure.
So one fine Monday morning, i took a cab to work in the lovely city of baton rouge . When i reached my destination, the fare was something like 25.35( made up figure).i paid him something like 30 bucks and waited for my change. He said he doesn't have exact change. I checked my purse but since it was my first day, i didn't have any coins on me. The cabby handed me 5 bucks back and muttered," looks like I'll end up tipping you". Ignorant me thought it was some kind of America humour, smiled, took my money and deboarded. I noticed that the cab guy had a weird half disappointed half annoyed look on his face when he took off.
It's only after many years that i realised how deep the tipping culture is. And dinggg... The entire conversation replayed in my mind and i realised what i did.. So dear cabbie, if you are reading this, I'm so sorry for ruining your day. I didn't know.
TL;DR - Didn't know about the tipping culture in the USA, ended up getting a tip from a cab for riding with him.
shamirk: Same story - when I landed in the US from India in 2003, I paid the cabby the exact $45 for the cab-ride to my hotel, and didn't even think to tip him. He was probably used to FOB foreigners though.
Justasilentreader: I know right!.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1659415849 | 1659421353 | t3_we2lpk | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling one of my friends to flash the turtle in the zoo in order to wake them up
[deleted]
Wermillio: I’m sure the turtles wouldn’t have minded your suggested method of waking them up
niceandsane: You bet your sweet ass they wouldn't.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1659417491 | 1659418121 | t3_we338a | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking the rules of the internet
[deleted]
InflamedLiver: Hint: random people will never message you for sexting
dadis2cool: It really didn’t click until you put that way.
| 3 | 2 | |
1659423307 | 1659461140 | t3_we4pa5 | t5_2to41 | 11 | sneakysneaks_: TIFU by letting a mouse into the house
I live in an old house with no AC, and the ongoing heat wave has been brutal. This afternoon I had the back door open to try and get some airflow going, and a tiny field mouse ran into the kitchen and went right under the stove. I noticed it only because my cat started swiping around under there and I was able to see a little brown furry thing scurrying away. After desperately trying to coax it out and swipe it towards the door with a yardstick, it disappeared and I gave up. My husband was adamant that the mouse be removed from the house immediately, put a few traps around a few different spots in the room, and we went about our day.
I didn’t realize what kinds of traps he used until it was too late. They were fucking sticky traps. The unfortunately very effective and absolutely awful, murderous, torturous kind.
At around 2am as I was cleaning up the kitchen, I see the cat swiping at something near one of the traps. The fucking thing gets stuck to his paw (only for a moment-he pulled it off about 3 second later) and finally I see the tiny little guy squeaking for his life and breathing so fast I can’t believe he didn’t die from a heart attack right then. I wish he had because what I had to do next was much worse.
The poor little thing was obviously terrified, completely immobilized, and very clearly needed to be put out of its misery. So I took it outside, apologizing profusely all the way, and smashed it with a cinderblock. Probably overkill but I didn’t want to take the chance of not killing it on the first try and prolonging its suffering.
I feel like a murderer. I killed that baby mouse just because it was just living its mouse life and accidentally wandered into my house. After I got done sobbing on the phone to my husband while he was at work (he was very sympathetic and felt horrible I had to deal with it) I begged him never to get sticky traps again.
I never killed anything before in my entire life. Snuffing a little life out like that and then just throwing it in the garbage felt so cruel.
TL;DR
A mouse came into the house and my husband caught it with a sticky trap and then left which meant I then had to dispatch the poor little soul.
GlassPanther: Glue traps are HORRIBLE and cruel ... and especially dangerous in houses with pets and small children. Please don't use glue traps 😔😔😔
sneakysneaks_: I agree. I would never EVER have used them, and I didn’t realize my husband had gotten glue traps until my cat pulled it out from under the stove and I saw it first hand. I wish I had looked when my husband place them because i would’ve thrown them out right away. :( after the mouse was caught I threw every single one of the remaining traps in the trash. Thankfully they hadnt caught anything else.
GlassPanther: One of the most understated problems with glue traps is that they don't always stay where you put them. Imagine if the mouse had only gotten his tail stuck to it and then pulled it out ... like you said your cat saw it and was like "oh hell yeah ..." and it only stuck to his paw, but what if he had tried to eat the mouse? Next thing you know it could have suffocated your cat. :( :( :(
sneakysneaks_: You’re totally right.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1659424289 | 1659425977 | t3_we4z1d | t5_2to41 | -1 | whaheheckk: TIFU by telling my boyfriend I’m not into the stuff he is into (TLDR at the end)
Me and my bf have been dating for almost a year and we just had one of our "late night convos" which happened to be about our sexualities and kinks. He shared something with me and I am completely supportive of it, I'm going to love him and support him no matter what and I told him that. But I also told him I'm not into it. I told him I will do whatever it takes to
make him happy, even that. I told him I love him so much and I will always be here for him no matter what he likes and how he feels, I want to make him feel comfortable in his body, I want to make him feel loved, so i'll do it even though it isn't my thing. He got upset
and didn't want to do it anymore because "I didn't like it." It doesn't matter if i like it or not, I want him happy and i'll do it. Who knows, maybe I'Il like it? He started apologizing for oversharing and trying to "go to sleep"
so he doesn't have to talk to me. I like him sharing stuff with me, it makes me so happy that he can trust me. I
don't know how to make up for it, i should've never said it. Tomorrow i'm going shopping and i'll get everything
we need for it and make it happen, i hope that helps.
TLDR: TIFU by telling my boyfriend i’m not into one of his kinks which i’ve never really had to deal with, so maybe ill like it though its too late now
cr1msonxo: You're a beautiful soul and you deserve much better, that's all I'll say.
GeekyTricky: Don't listen to this guy.
Everyone gets a little defensive when they share something personal and don't get the expected reaction.
Just leave it alone for a couple days, so he patches the wound, then circle back to it.
I see two ways to deal with it.
1. You don't want to try the kink: then simply tell him that you were happy he shared that with you and how much you love him. How sorry you are that you didn't feel the same way, but that such differences happen, and that you won't let them get in the way of happiness.
.
2. The kink doesn't sound great, but heck, why not give it a go just to see: start the same way, how happy you are that he shared, and how much you love him. That you thought about it, and although you don't like the *sound* of his kink, you think it might be interesting to try a little bit (see if it sticks). Set some ground rules and safe words, try it progressively and make sure you feel safe and comfortable with anything that's happening. Make sure he understands that you are stepping out of your comfort zone, and it might never happen again.
These are my two cents. Anyhow, good luck.
cr1msonxo: OP said that she would try it out and regardless the dude told her "nvm sleep". Whats the use of sharing your kinks when you aren't mature enough to handle rejection? Alright if OP isn't up for it dude should have said okay sorry lets see what's next instead of shutting down the whole conversation completely. You're on the same mentality level as OP's boyfriend sadly.
GeekyTricky: Ad hominem.
My point that rejection hurts and people get defensive when hurt still stands. If you are unable to cope with that, it is okay to search for your partner based on how they handle rejection.
However pushing this **very personal** take on relationships onto others as though it were mainstream does not feel healthy to me.
cr1msonxo: She's asking an online forum about her relationship and random strangers are shooting it out of their asshole. Welcome to the internet.
GeekyTricky: Yes and other random strangers try to give some counterbalancing stuff.
Hopefully as she looks through the comments she'll find something that can be helpful.
| 7 | -0.142857 | |
1659426559 | 1659463365 | t3_we5jww | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a guy and hooking up with a married man for 7 years now...thinking of telling his wife.
[removed]
StripeyButt: I don't think it's your place to reveal anything to his family. If he feels like he wants to then let him. It's not your place to bring someone else out of the closet. That's their choice to make.
[deleted]: Are you kidding me? This man whose being married for 30+ years is all of sudden going to tell his wife that he's having a affair with a GUY for 7 years now. Please. Let's bring ourselves to the real world. He wouldn't tell her even if the world came to an end
StripeyButt: Does he want to?
What will you telling anyone accomplish? Will he be okay with the outcome and you 2 will live happily ever after?
[deleted]: I'm not trying to live happily ever after with him. I never once stated that. I'm being considerate of the wife.
koozy407: No you aren’t. You are trying to get back at him by ruining his family do not act like you’re doing some great thing for his wife.
[deleted]: Get back at him for what exactly? He's never hurt me.
koozy407: Oh, so you have absolutely zero reason to do this?!? Okay. You seem real swell.
[deleted]: I've clarified a million times that I'm trying to do right by coming clean to his wife. That's what I would want if I was the wife.
koozy407: That doesn’t mean it’s what she wants. You’re trying to do what you think is right for someone else’s life, do you hear how stupid that sounds? If you actually cared about the family and wanted them to know you would give this guy 24 hours to come clean to his family or else you are going to. You’re not giving him that chance you’re taking it in your own hands to make sure what YOU want to happen happens.
[deleted]: Do you hear yourself? What woman wouldn't want to know if her husband is cheating? Wtf.
koozy407: I’m a woman. I would want to know from him not his little toy. If you truly cared about her and the family and that was your intention and telling them, you would give him the chance to tell them. But you’re not wanting to do that because you want to make sure that you control the narrative do you see how unbelievably controlling and selfish you are being?
[deleted]: If he tells them and they find out about me and later come to me asking why I didn't say anything, what would I say then?
koozy407: Lmao no one in that family is going to come looking for you, nobody gives a shit about you. This is their family, their business and you need to stay out of it. They don’t want answers from you. I don’t know why you think you’re some big part of their story but you aren’t.
[deleted]: I'm pretty sure they would want to know exactly who he was cheating with. I mean I would..
koozy407: Well, you are obviously a sick individual and this comment thread only proves that. I’m telling you right now this woman will be humiliated she doesn’t wanna see your face. These kids will hate you they don’t wanna see your face they don’t want answers. They will deal with him, not you. You don’t matter to them. You never will.
[deleted]: Of course it's easier to judge anyone but yourself. That's why I'm getting attacked the way I am. It's mostly men who probably have cheated on their significant other and hope they don't ever find out.
koozy407: Well I’m a woman and I can say for a fact she does not want to hear it from you.
[deleted]: You aren't the voice for every woman out there.
Horror-Mongoose-138: What if she is?
[deleted]: Not possible.
Horror-Mongoose-138: What if she’s a Lorax? Instead of speaking for the trees she speaks for the womens? You don’t know.
[deleted]: What world are you living in?
Horror-Mongoose-138: Well.. I’m not having relations with a married man and agree that no one wants to hear from the person who’s having an affair with their partner, so a different one than you I suspect. Like the other person said, what you want to do just shows you want control over the situation. If you really cared you’d just walk away.
[deleted]: I'm doing what's right to correct the situation.
Horror-Mongoose-138: Keep telling yourself that.
| 26 | 2.038462 | |
1659424921 | 1659441929 | t3_we54vx | t5_2to41 | 3 | No-Worldliness-3350: tifu by calling my mom back
[removed]
[deleted]: It’s like reading a text equivalent to a strobe light.
Catnip4Pedos: They saw a gay and there mum said call me, then they lost the gay
I think that's the story. Weird story. Not sure how they know the man is gay.
| 3 | 1 | |
1659430737 | 1659446039 | t3_we6nz0 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Manfrenjensenjen: TIFU by inadvertently letting my ego cause me to forever lose someone very important to me
It didn’t happen today, but today I find myself awake in the middle of the night again, wondering how it all went wrong…
I was in a crazy, unexpected and intense long-ish distance relationship with a pretty goddamn amazing woman for a period of several years. We had unusually spot on sexual chemistry, each kinda complimenting the other’s quirks, needs, kinks. We were pretty much from different worlds though, and there was a fair amount of an age difference, but you wouldn’t have known it, really. Fought like rabid badgers on occasion, had some high drama every now and then. But generally speaking, we really felt *right* together.
For most of our relationship, talking to her was all I wanted to do. I’d look for a message from her first thing in the morning, and when there was one- I’d feel like a goofy lovesick teen.
When we were able to get together, it was like some kind of a dream. Those times together irl were some of the sweetest, happiest episodes in recent memory, though I probably pushed too hard for us to get together more often, and logistically it was difficult. I should have been more understanding of that.
It wasn’t perfect. We both did some less than trustworthy things once or twice, we both took the other for granted occasionally. Sometimes we’d let negativity from our normal life seep in and poison what was normally our escape from all that.
Then Covid happened and I don’t know- like everyone one else, we had our fears, went through our own shit. Slowly seemed to be putting up walls between us. Reaching out for each other less and less. More time would pass between messages. Calls became fewer. Meeting obviously faded into an impossibility. I became rather maudlin about everything, assuming it would be years before we’d see each other again. Taking for granted how much she enriched my life regardless of whether I saw her in person or not. I closed myself off little by little. Allowed insecurities to dictate how I treated her. Allowed my selfishness and ego to keep her from receiving the love and attention she deserved. Let my increasing bouts of depression push me further into myself and away from her.
Then one day several months ago, in the course of a normal conversation, I wrote a nominal response to something she said, just a regular everyday conversation - I wrote it but I didn’t hit send. So it sat there in draft form. I’m sure the conversation wasn’t anything significant. We weren’t arguing, in fact we’d recently discussed how we missed each other, and maybe soon we could hang out for the first time since Covid.
But no, my response sat there unsent. I had recently turned on notifications, so I always knew when she responded. Days went by- nothing. Weeks went by and not a word. What the fuck? Did she ghost me? Were all my insecurities accurate? Was she just looking for the right time to make her exit? Did she find someone else, and was trying to spare my feelings. Was this our inevitable end that I was too dumb to see coming?
Well, needless to say, when I looked and saw that it was in fact ME that was responsible for all this, I about lost it. Now it’s literally been months, and because of my ego, my stubbornness, I’ve become a self fulfilling prophet of dumbassery. I ghosted her, ignored her. Probably made her feel like shit, and now it’s too late to fix anything. I’ve certainly lost her for good. Probably lost her to someone who’s got their shit together way better than me. I hope they appreciate what they have, she’s something special and I’ll never forget her amazing presence in my life.
TLDR: allowed a once in a lifetime relationship to end because of a potent mix of stupidity, ego, bad decision making and insecurity.
No-Peach2925: You can always explain ?
Be prepared for an answer you might dislike, but in the end the best way to get it out of the way is to just face the hard time.
Results might sometimes surprise you.
Manfrenjensenjen: I dunno, my gut tells me this time I fucked up beyond repair, and she’s gone ahead and closed off all methods of communication between us and truly moved on.
My guess is I’m stuck with this situation because I caused it, and I need to accept it. I guess writing all that stuff down and getting it out was a first step in coming to terms.
Thanks for your suggestion, though. It’s appreciated.
NostradaMart: your gut is stupid and is what put you there in the first place. listen to no-peach.
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1659431993 | 1659433004 | t3_we705b | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by swiping on my girlfriend’s phone NSFW
[deleted]
Anotherdude342: Another repost? Calm down. This is the 4th time I've seen this now, including yesterday.
MissIllusion: It was pretty fast for them to update with no comments
tamadli: I forgor to crop text 💀
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1659432660 | 1659436279 | t3_we76k0 | t5_2to41 | 41 | tamadli: tifu by having a threesome
[removed]
Auroraburst: This sounds like HER fuck up honestly. She said it was ok and it sounds like she has double standards.
If she can bang a girl without your permission why is you ASKING if it's ok then stopping when you realised she was bothered crossing a line?
kyss24: She said it was ok in the moment. These sort of things need to be discussed with clothes on in a non-sexual situation. She said OK because she didn’t feel like she had any other choice. It was already happening.
Auroraburst: Whilst that's true, I feel it's unfair to say that and then breakup with him. Particularly as I doubt that he explicitly said it was ok for her to start making out with her friend.
There is a clear lack of communication here.
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1659438762 | 1659440355 | t3_we8wz1 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking through my GF phone
[deleted]
solstice_gilder: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Instead of sneaking on her phone, you should have just asked her.
Zima2k: I know, i should have, i didn't think this trough, i honestly feel like shit and i regret this so fuckin much
algoporlacara: Do you regret having looked because it was "wrong", or because now you know she's not faithful but can't face it?
Come on man she's playing with you, time to make up your mind.
| 4 | 3 | |
1659440885 | 1659449166 | t3_we9l28 | t5_2to41 | 11 | DirectionPotential79: TIFU by sexting and getting attached to a guy who was apparently in a relationship
I (F19) met this guy (M19) online. We were just chatting about random things and then he decided to call me. He told me he was single and I believed him. On the call, we talked about mostly innocent things but towards the end he sort of turned the conversation more sexual. We basically did you know what over the phone.
It was fun and I liked him until he confessed that he has a girlfriend but would still like to talk to me. I was mad and told him I would message him later because I had things to do. The night came and I ended it. I told him that while I liked him, I cannot do it. I wished him well and to make good choices.
Here is where I know I went wrong. He messaged me the next evening to tell me about his night. I know it was wrong and I have attachment issues but I replied to him. He started sexting and while I was unsure, I still replied and went with it. The night ended and he didn't message me anymore. I sent a message the next day ending it for good.
I know I was wrong and I feel like absolute shit. I do not know who he is or who his girlfriend is so I cannot do much regarding that matter now. I just want to fix things and be a better person now but the feeling of guilt is just eating me alive. How do I fix this and move on?
TL;DR I did stuff w a guy online and got attached. He confessed that he was in a relationship and I ended it. He messaged me again and I gave in and sexted. I ended it again for good but feel like shit
Catnip4Pedos: Hi there. Would you like my number. I probably am not in a relationship and probably won't message at night for sextings.
Bubbagumpredditor: They should take mine instead, I am definitely not in a relationship and I 100% won't sext at night.
I am CLEARLY the better choice.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1659436096 | 1659445300 | t3_we84wk | t5_2to41 | 6 | thrownawaynotyet: TIFU by making my friend think I'm in love with her and possibly ruining our friendship
Obligatory this happened Saturday/Sunday but I haven't had the energy to type it out because I'm feeling pretty low. Details and names changed/left out because I have a feeling she or someone else might see this and figure out who I am. For the main people in this story, we're in our late teens and I have practically zero experience with serious romantic relationships. That should explain a few things...
So I attended a certain festival earlier this year. While playing some games, I met a few people who I became friendly with. Mainly this one girl who I felt I hit it off with from the start. During that first festival we mostly made some small talk and played some of the same games, but we exchanged contact details and stayed in touch after. It didn't take long before we'd planned to meet up, which required a 2 hour journey and hotel stay on my part. I had a great time getting to know her and as far as I know, she did as well. I'll be honest, she's sweet, funny and kind, and we share interests that I don't share with any other friends. I felt that she's the kind of person that I would want a relationship with, and I also got the impression that she may be into me because of a few things that were said and done. Regardless, I'd had a great time seeing her as a friend and we'd planned to talk, play video games, etc which was great.
Now to the fuckup. It's been a while since we met up, but this past weekend we did at yet another festival (this was planned, not just randomly bumping into each other). We hung out for most of the days, staying up through the nights and having a fantastic time. I'd planned to talk to her about meeting up again and where she wanted things to go. The problem is, I really don't know how to express these things in a good way.
So on the last day I told her I wanted to talk to her about something in private when we had some time, which she agreed to. Unfortunately, things never really end up going the way I imagine. By the time I finally said something, it was 1 AM. I asked her about meeting up and whatnot, to which she said she would have trouble traveling to see me but would love to start off by talking and playing games online, etc, but that I could always tell her if I wanted to meet. At this point I confirmed in my head what I'd started to notice throughout the weekend: she's not into me. I figured I'd skip the part about dating to avoid awkwardness but of course she realized something was up and I wasn't telling her everything. Still, things went on as I didn't really want to speak up.
As the night progressed, I became increasingly tired and decided to head out early to get a few hours of sleep. She walked with me for a bit and my tired self decided that this was it, now or never, I should say this 2 minutes before she needs to head back. So I did. Except, I didn't really say what I wanted to. Instead of me telling her casually during the day something to the extent of "Hey, I really like you and wanted to ask if you'd be up for going out sometime as more than friends? If not, I'd really like to continue as friends", it became this big thing where I awkwardly tried to find the words to explain that I'm potentially interested in more, making it sound more like I was confession my feelings in a really weird way. She basically told me that she really likes me as a friend and wants to continue that way, but I barely got a chance to respond before another person we'd been playing with decided to come by and join us. I asked if we'd see each other in the morning to which she replied she'd be in touch so we could say goodbye properly before she leaves. I got a hug and said goodbye as best I could, not knowing if I'd actually see her or not.
Cut to morning. I get up, pack my things and get ready. I wait anxiously but never get a text or call. So I text her, asking if she's done packing. Nothing. I call her because she's leaving soon. Nothing. I look around for her but eventually give up and head home. In the evening, I sent her a text about the whole thing, hoping I could at least hear her thoughts. It's been two days, and while she sometimes takes a lot of time to reply to texts, I'm pretty sure this isn't that.
Safe to say I fucked up pretty badly because she's an amazing friend and I was so happy to finally have someone who shares those interests.
TLDR; I misstook a friend's behavior for flirting and then turned a casual question about whether she'd be interested in a date into what sounded like an awkward confession of love, at a festival far from home. She told me we'd meet up in the morning but never texted and now doesn't return my texts or calls. I'm still holding out hope that she'll come around to it soon and we can go back to how it was before...
Catnip4Pedos: comment edited to stop creeps like you reading it!
thrownawaynotyet: Oh, of course! Why didn't I think of that?!
Catnip4Pedos: comment edited to stop creeps like you reading it!
thrownawaynotyet: Hah, I wish I could blame anxiety! Unfortunately I'm a very outwards-going guy who works on the stage... That's how we connected on the first place. I'm just not good at this specifically.
But, of course, Reddit always has amazing advice!
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1659442564 | 1659459881 | t3_wea5cl | t5_2to41 | 5 | random20190826: TIFU by ruining my vacation by clicking the wrong buttons repeatedly
I work from home in Ontario (Canada) for a company in California (US). In October, 2021, I had let the company know that I would be taking time off for the weeks beginning 8/7 and 8/14. I found out in January that I would get 3 weeks of time off. I then added 1 more week to my time off. which means the week of 7/31. To preface, my company requires that employees select time off one day at a time, not an entire week. The same applies to when I cancel approved time off.
I decided to attend college part-time because my employer refused to give me a raise for almost 3 years despite high inflation and worker shortages (lots of overtime available, as well as work on statutory holidays, which has an additional 50% pay for the day in addition to holiday pay. This means if you make $20 an hour, it would be $50 per hour on a holiday). I started classes in May. Because I am disabled, I needed to talk to the college accessibility services to set up accommodations, so I took 1 hour off on 5/24. I knew that I needed to take more time off, and thought that I needed to cancel 1 week's worth of vacation. I thought I cancelled the week of July 31. I needed to take 2 hours off for an presentation that was due 7/20. I was forced to take 1 day off on 7/8 due to a nationwide Internet outage (Rogers Communications).
Yesterday (8/1), I went to work at 10 AM and the login failed. I immediately checked my schedule and realized that I still had time off for the week of 7/31 and the week of 8/14, but not the week of 8/7. I immediately cancelled the time off for the week of 8/14 and attempted to get time off for the week of 8/7. I work from Monday to Friday, for 8 hours a day. I ended up being granted time off for every day other than 8/8. I escalated it and it was denied. My vacation to Montreal is supposed to start on 8/6 and end on 8/11. My company does not allow me to log in from anywhere other than my home and my job has a fixed schedule.
So, it looks like I am not going on vacation despite having booked for the hotel, but the rest of my family is still going. I should never have cancelled any time off in the first place, even if it meant that I may have had some extra (unpaid) time off.
​
TL; DR: I cancelled the wrong weeks off from work because of school and may not be able to go on vacation as a result.
mcbelisle: How do they know your computer won't be at home? Bring it with you.
NostradaMart: easyly...with ip tracking. I'd still say bring your computer on vacation and it's fixed.
mcbelisle: Yeah use a vpn
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1659442876 | 1659444648 | t3_wea92d | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my sister to do it herself
[deleted]
arlondiluthel: She played you.
CandyBananaPie: I did kind of leave her there for 20 minutes. She also had that account for years too so many of the things in that account must have been really important to her in a way.
arlondiluthel: If she "got over it" that quickly, she was using emotion to coerce you into doing what she wanted you to do. Oldest trick in the book.
| 4 | 1 | |
1659443888 | 1659450922 | t3_wealf1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | omegantbk: TIFU by getting drunk at my sister's house and saying i want sex.
[removed]
TheScruffyStacheGuy: You're worried about a good boy image in front of your family and yet, do coke and get blackout drunk with them? I don't think they think you're the man you think they think you are... Wow what a sentence right? But think about it, it sounds convoluted and silly but I'm serious. Also are you worried about premarital sex and the shame of sex in general because of religion? Because I'm sure good Christians don't do coke... You seem really confused about your own identity, how you profile yourself in the world and how you wish to be perceived by others...
Feline_Jaye: "Coke" is short for "Coca Cola". He's mixing his drink, not doing lines 😹
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Aaaahhhh that makes much more sense hahaha, I thought he was doing shots of wodka with lines of coke on the side😅 alright that renders a lot of what I said irrelevant I guess... Thank you for clearing that up lol
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1659427672 | 1659448358 | t3_we5usw | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by following u/Distasteful_T around reddit
[removed]
NostradaMart: dude you're cringy on an epic level ...don't be a stalker, you ass.
isavedjesus: Oh you thought it was cringey? It's because it's all very literal. I hoped it was so over the top one could tell I was being intentionally extra. I was trying to mock myself, did it not come across that way? This one was pushing it...Using rhe "FOLLOW" Button and all. Fucking cringey reddit and their skeevy buttons. You think that's bad, wait till I wallpaper it with dick pics!
isavedjesus: Can I follow you around? That sounds like more fun. I won't have the concerns regarding number of fucks given. 
| 4 | 0 | |
1659447499 | 1659539019 | t3_webxjy | t5_2to41 | 10,495 | HotKnifeUpAss: TIFU By Smoking weed In Jamaica
[removed]
battmannxyz: I got so worried reading your story until I got to the end.
Those feelings are normal, and it's so lovely that you got to fall in love all over again! That's what its all about.
Sorry that you pretty much died from weed tho, it is a rite of passage.
Darkwaxellence: I thought he was going to die for sure [6]
Hvarfa-Bragi: I knew he'd be fine because I've been there too many times and that's why I'm [0] now :(
GammaEmerald: What’s with the numbers?
NoLifePotHead: How stoned they currently are. 0-10, 0 being sober. You see it a lot on subs like r/trees
orthomonas: This is how I'm going to interpret reference marks in academic papers from now on.
[deleted]: This is how I will interpret data arrays in the future.
orthomonas: That explains so much about The Matrix.
[deleted]: Lol.
| 10 | 1,049.5 | |
1659447972 | 1659460502 | t3_wec422 | t5_2to41 | -6 | Firm_Rice_9372: TIFU by trying to not have an affair
TIFU by trying to not have an affair
A little bit of context: I (18M) have been with my girlfriend (18F) for over 2 and a half years. I don't like to admit this, but our relationship has gotten pretty worn out in the last 6 months and I am not sure if I still love her. But I couldn't imagine my life with anyone else so I am trying to reignite our relationship.
I have been traveling in Canada (I am Brazilian) for more than 6 weeks and have discovered new things about myself and new people of course, and I think I just found the most perfect girl for me. She (18F) is also Brazilian, and differently from my current girlfriend, we have soooo many things in common, same musical taste, the same sense of humor, same hobbies and we are even going to study the same course in college, she is so loveling, caring, intelligent and so beautiful that I couldn't help but fall for her.
This is where things get complicated. In the last week we have been pretty close together, like, going everywhere together, holding hands, she grabs my arm randomly and we listen to music together, and I confess I made that happen and I wanted it to happen, but I knew that this was very wrong and was going on a bad way.
So yesterday she invited me to a cinema and I went thinking all our little friend group would be there, but it was only her. We watched the movie and she tries to do some not-so-obvious moves on me and I get away from it all. As we were going back to our homes in the subway we listen to music together and I laid my arms around her, as we stop at her station she gets up and tries to directly kiss me and I just said "no". She gets a little surprised, accepts, and goes on her way.
10 min later she messages me saying that she might understand something wrong in our relationship and was sorry for any inconvenience, and I tell her why I couldn't kiss her, that I have a girlfriend and all. She gets (obviously and with the right to) super angry saying that I should have told her this earlier and that I shouldn't get so clingy with someone I don't want anything. She said that she just wanted to enjoy her last moments here and it didn't have to be something serious (she is going back to Brazil in 1 week)
Now I just don't know what to do, I can't sleep because I keep thinking about what I should have done and what can I do now. Maybe I should give her a try, but it would be straight-up cheating, and I can't just break up with my current girlfriend as she is very emotionally attached to me and is afraid that I leave her or cheat on her.
I feel stuck, stuck between What I should do, What I can do, and What I want to do, as none of them align with each other and none seem right alone.
I am not asking who is wrong or right as I am definitely the wrong one, I just want to get help in what I should do now.
Should I enjoy my last moments here too and then keep on with my life as if nothing happened, should I keep with my promise of never cheating and ignore her for the rest of the trip, should I break up with my girlfriend and try something new? What should I do omg? I think I'm starting to get crazy
Note: I had never had any other romantic relationship other than my girlfriend and this girl, so I am very unused to this type of situation.
TL;DR I am in another country and a girl that I really like tried to kiss me but I refused because I already have a girlfriend, but I didn't tell her that. Now I am in a very strange situation and very confused in my own feelings.
Eig8t86: Ok bro, never let a girlfriend stop you from finding a wife.
xgamer444: The downvotes tells you this player knows the truth. Fuck the haters.
Eig8t86: Not a player, just watching fuckers do each other dirty.
| 4 | -1.5 | |
1659450742 | 1659455422 | t3_wed8dl | t5_2to41 | 55 | RockyTop42: TIFU by doing too much for a girl I really liked
For the past few months I’ve been working in a restaurant and I found one of the bartenders really attractive. So naturally I started talking to her when I could and tried getting to know her a bit better overall. It got to the point where I could tell she was getting more open to talking to me based off conversations and I started thinking that I had a good shot at things.
Once it got to the point where I felt comfortable enough, I built the courage to ask her if she wanted to go on a date. She said yes, but due to ambiguity of the work schedule being dropped and our unknowingness of when we would work, we just never got around to it. Ultimately we hung out in groups a few times outside of work but never just her and myself. Later I found out she was going to school at the end of July, so I knew my window to make a move was closing.
Aside from the occasional times where I would ask her on a date, I figured “why not make one last play to try to really show I’m interested?” I overheard her talking about what kind of flowers she really liked, so I bought some for her and thought it’d be a nice gesture to give them before she left. I left them by her car with a note wishing her luck back at school and some other things. In retrospect, should’ve given it to her in person but I digress. Turns out that she didn’t even thank me for them and I was left wondering why I just did that in all. A week or so passed and I just got a text from her, not about the flowers or myself, it was asking about work. All that physical and mental investment for nothing really messed with my head.
TL;DR - I really liked this girl who I worked with, but she was leaving for school not too long after I met her. I asked her on dates, none happened, so as a last shot got her flowers to shoot my shot, but ended up flopping in the end.
Weil65Azure: Sorry but... If you're gonna get someone a gift, it isn't really a well-meaning gift if you're expecting thanks/romance out of it.
I'm sorry this didn't work out. But it sounds like your gift thing was an attempt at getting a rise out of her. Not an actual "good luck with school" gift. Seems like it had an agenda.
Seems like she saw through that, and decided not to confront you about it.
RingsOfPowerAMA: Couldn't have said it better myself, and I'm amazing
tylerrayskeet: I love this comment.
*round of applause*
| 4 | 13.75 | |
1659452760 | 1659538755 | t3_wee2wm | t5_2to41 | 228 | [deleted]: TIFU by not following my commands procedure for drug testing
[deleted]
laurabun136: You are voluntarily in the Armed Forces, which relies on everyone following commands to do the job and stay safe while doing so.
You wilfully disobeyed orders.
You should report yourself and take whatever punishment is proper for your failure to follow commands.
If you get kicked out, that's your problem and your own fault. If the Navy means so much to you, you wouldn't have cheated. Yep, you FU.
Otfd: He didn’t cheat though?
laurabun136: He effectively cheated by disregarding set policy. He might have not been the one submitting a specimen but he allowed others to cheat.
Otfd: Not really. You make it sound so bad, he was uncomfortable looking at the guys dick. I think he should’ve said something before agreeing to do it. But regardless I’m sure explaining he would be fine.
laurabun136: It doesn't matter *what* he was uncomfortable with. He had a job to do and he didn't do it. And I don't think "I was afraid to look at his weenie" is an effective explanation.
Otfd: You would be surprised how often people can be like understanding if you're honest.
But whatever idc.
laurabun136: I don't care, either. But you'd be surprised at how many people will try to get away with more and more. 'Nuff said from me.
Have a great day!
| 8 | 28.5 | |
1659454891 | 1660343728 | t3_weez96 | t5_2to41 | 10 | WILL_THERE_BE_MATH: TIFU by taking a joke too far and possibly damaging relationships
Posted from mobile so sorry if formatting is weird.
Backstory: I started a new job last month and needed to move across the state for it. On my first day of orientation I met this girl, B, who was also just starting. I immediately thought she was cute and so I set out to get to know her better. I learned that she was new to the state, having also moved for the job, and as a result she also didn’t know anyone in the area. We started talking and really hit things off, quickly becoming friends. We started going for walks together and hanging out. I attempted to formally ask her out one day, and then found out that she was actually in a long distance relationship with her boyfriend of almost 2 years. I was definitely disappointed, but I really enjoy hanging out and talking with her, so I asked if we could still be friends, to which she agreed. (I mention this so it is clear that she is aware that I was interested in her)
Through one of our conversations, I learned that she wanted to get into Stardew Valley (great game btw) and I encouraged to get the game. She found herself struggling with the game mechanics, so I went over last week to play co-op with her and help her understand how things work in the game. For those not familiar with SV, you build relationships with NPCs by giving them gifts, with some characters liking certain gifts more than others. She was starting to get mad, saying that the characters should just be happy getting any gift at all. This led me to make a joke about how by that logic, she would be happy to receive a super random gift, like a potato, which I then tell her I would give her the next day. So, as a man of my word, the next day at work, I showed up at her desk and gave her a potato, which she found hilarious. I wish this is where the story ended, but if that was the case, I wouldn’t be posting here today.
The F up: The next day her mom came to visit B for the weekend, and thinking it would be funny, I decided to deliver a potato to her apartment so she would be forced to explain it to her mom. I had an empty amazon box that I put a potato in, along with a piece of lined paper with a crudely drawn heart on it, and dropped it off outside her apartment while they were out shopping. Upon their return, she found the box and (I believe) found it really funny how I stuck with the joke. B and I have a similar sense of humor, so I assumed she would know and understand that the heart was part of the joke, and not anything more. Her mom, however, didn’t see it that way and upon seeing the heart, accused B of cheating on her boyfriend with me. I quickly apologized to B for taking the joke a bit too far and causing her mom to think of her as a cheater. B told me that she cleared it up with her mom, so I assumed everything was fine and back to normal.
Last night and today: B and I regularly message each other, and last night I noticed that her normally longer messages had all been reduced to one or two word responses. This seemed out of character for her, so I asked her if everything was ok. She told me that “right now isn’t really a great time” and how she was “still angry about the whole thing this weekend”. As far as I was aware she had thought the potato delivery was funny, so honestly I had no idea that she was actually angry about it. This morning she told me that she has a lot going on, so she would appreciate it if I gave her some space and didn’t message her for a while. This is super disappointing to me because she had quickly become my closest friend in this area where I don’t know many people, and now I may have lost her as a friend because I took a joke too far. So here I am posting this, down one good friend whose life I inadvertently made significantly more complicated.
TL;DR: Took a joke with my friend too far and may have inevitably led to issues in her relationships with both her boyfriend and her mom.
Potatotornado20: Sounds like it got to her bf and now he’s trying to break up with her
WILL_THERE_BE_MATH: Honestly I really hope not, since she had mentioned how supportive he was of her while she dealt with stuff at school, and from everything she said he’s a pretty good guy.
Raisen22: What should you do is contact the guy instead, because i feel the entire situation was created by her mother instead.
Did her mother hate the bf for some reason? did she is basically a controlling parent to your friend?
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1659462286 | 1659463690 | t3_wei3pg | t5_2to41 | 12 | andeargdue: TIFU by poisoning my dog
I just realised what I did and I feel awful about it!
My dog, Daisy (10F black lab) is the kind of dog who will knock over a child if that child had food; she just *loves* food. So it was weird yesterday when she only started to eat her breakfast at around 2pm. That night she threw up all her breakfast and dinner at around 8pm and 4am.
She loves to eat socks when no one was looking so I thought maybe she ate one and had a blockage! Took her to the vet, paid over €100 etc etc. got home and thought to myself “well I don’t want to give you a full bowl of food so maybe just one of your new dental sticks!” That’s when I realised it:
THE DENTAL STICKS!!! They are made of crickets so the bag says “don’t five to dog if dog is allergic to shellfish” (are crickets shellfish? Idk). She hasn’t had one at all today and she’s 100% fine! Perfect health!
Turns out that was the only new food in her diet and I was the one giving them to her.
TL;DR : TIFU by poisoning my dog bc it turns out she is allergic to the new tasty dental sticks I bought for her
Various_Succotash_79: The chitin in a bug's exoskeleton is the same as a shrimp's exoskeleton, that's why the allergies are similar.
Glad you figured it out!
andeargdue: Ah! There we have it! And yeah thank god it got sorted! I was so scared T.T
| 3 | 4 | |
1659464300 | 1659507307 | t3_weiye5 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Optimal-Pie-1293: TIFU by having a threesome
Me and my gf were really really drunk last night and we had a threesome qith her friend and me and my gf ere only going along with it coz we thought each other wanted it eventhough we didn't and now were taking a break but she the love of my life and I Hurt so much I'm so sad I feel sick pls I need help what do I do
Anyone pls help idk what to do and neither does she we don't want to break up but if that what had to happen for her to be happy I will do that but if there's any alternative pls help me
She's the love of my life and um willing to do anything to make her happy both of us agree that it's not our fault and that it was the alcohol but the worst part is that I was kissing her friend when she wasn't even in the room and I don't even like anything about her, since the start of the threesome I didn't want to take part but I thought my gf was happy and she thought the same thing
Tl,Dr me Andy gf had a threesome and we regreted from the start it and we don't know what to do and I fucked up even more by doing things when she wasn't even in the room
Auto mod u better not take this down for the third time I'm in too much pain to deal with your shit
Update:both of us feel that I'm the one who cheated and we have now broken up weather that be permanent or not idk I just hope she finds someone better
Update2: were back together as I had left out a fee details as I thought people wouldn't believe my story If I added them here but bringing those reasons to light she was able to forgive me and we are back together (not officially since she asked me out first so now she's friendzoning me until we meet in person and i can ask her out)
AllanfromWales1: > Tl,Dr me Andy gf..
So what did you get up to with Andy while GF was out of the room?
Optimal-Pie-1293: When she wasn't in there we were just kissing but I still feel horrible about it I had the most power in stopping that situation but I did nothing even though u wanted to stop
AllanfromWales1: I strongly doubt that I'm the best guy to advise you. My wife and I have had threesomes - both MFF and MMF - over the years and generally enjoyed ourselves without it ever being an issue. But that's us, not you.
Optimal-Pie-1293: But the difference I think is that we were all very drunk and had not planned this i do t even remember how it started
AllanfromWales1: If it's such a problem for you, maybe be more careful what you drink?
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1659464374 | 1659529452 | t3_weizgr | t5_2to41 | 328 | Sad_Shower3009: TIFU By underestimating the Greek sun and being stupid/forgetful
So I decided to come on holiday with my family to Greece thinking it will get me out of my bedroom where I wfh and am lazy. At least if I go on holiday I can enjoy the sun.
Well here is where is all goes wrong… and I’m sure someone is looking down on me with hatred. So we arrived at an all inclusive hotel where I completely forgot about my bag and left it on the coach, the bag itself and the contents inside were worth at least $1300…
It took me 3 days to get the bag delivered to my hotel whilst not knowing if they would find it or not. Well on the literal day I get the damn bag back, I get severely sunburnt on my feet (which have now blistered…) and shoulders for forgetting to put sunscreen on these parts. Oh I’m also sunburnt on my upper lip which is a complete nuisance.
My right ear is also completely blocked from where water has combined with earwax and hardened.
Man I hope I can heal this crap and I’ve definitely learnt to get air tags and put sunscreen on my feet and lip…
TLDR: TIFU by forgetting my expensive bag on a coach and not knowing it’s whereabouts for 3 days and then getting 2nd degree burns from the wonderful sun. Oh and a blocked ear from sea water.
Burnt_and_Blistered: Poor muffin. The horror.
Your earwax hasn’t hardened with water, that’s not how it works. You have swimmer’s ear. Ask the concierge for a referral to a doctor who can Rx drops.
For the sunburn, try an NSAID every 4-6 hours for inflammation and cool compresses. And keep the burnt areas OUT of the sun.
Sad_Shower3009: Does the sunburn medication require a prescription? I’m just wondering about getting a doctor in Greece, I’m worried it’s gonna cost a fortune or be a pain to find one
Tulkas4242: NSAIDs aren't prescription, think ibuprofen or aspirin. You can get those at any drug store.
I'd also suggest a skin moisturizer with aloe. Something like Gold Bond Healing. Put that on the sunburn and it'll help it heal.
Get well soon fellow redditor
Sad_Shower3009: Thanks for the advice guys! The only thing I’m missing now is ear drops, I have over the counter ear wax removal but it isn’t doing much. But as-long as the ear doesn’t hurt I don’t mind waiting till I’m in my home country.
SacredSpirit123: It’s an infection / inflammation, not earwax. Swimmer’s ear.
Sad_Shower3009: Ah shit okay I see
Ragnavok: Have you managed to get the ear drops?
Sad_Shower3009: Na, my ear pain has stopped so I will wait 5 days for my holiday to be over and go to the doctor if the issue still persists.
Ragnavok: Atleast pain is gone, I wish you the best of luck and I hope you enjoy your time in Greece.
Sad_Shower3009: Thanks haha, my sunburns are healing now too
| 11 | 29.818182 | |
1659465409 | 1659468399 | t3_wejex6 | t5_2to41 | 314 | [deleted]: TIFU by finally making a move on my cute neighbor 1 year too late
[removed]
i_say_uhhh: Make friends with her and try to visit every once in a while, but text as much as you can
ItsYaCarboiii: Nah I can't deal with long-distance relationships. We did exchange numbers and added each other on social media accounts, however. I also offered to help her with loading/unloading and moving in general, but she said the company where she's about to work offered her help with moving, and contractors are gonna take care of everything
SirVallanstein: Yeah but you can still help her pack her shit 😏
ItsYaCarboiii: Yea I can offer to add one more package ;)
SirVallanstein: Go get it and hope she doesn't bring one back in 9 months.
ItsYaCarboiii: Lmao this actually got me laughing out loud fr. I honestly would've given you an award if I had one rn (no packages for you though)
Edit: well, would you look at that. I actually did have an award to give
SirVallanstein: Glad to be of service. Hope your next neighbor is a hottie you don't skip out on.
| 8 | 39.25 | |
1659465216 | 1659560112 | t3_wejc4a | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by parking in a reserved spot
[deleted]
Unevenscore42: Today I met a non-karen.
MissedallthePoints: Two non-Karens. One with a polite note helping to educate, and the other one who took the note into consideration and modified their behavior. I bet this is what the 1950s felt like.
Unevenscore42: Truly.
| 4 | 11.5 | |
1659467016 | 1659471652 | t3_wek27g | t5_2to41 | 93 | Southern-March1015: TIFU by sleeping at my friend's home
This weekend I fucked up by accepting the invitation of my friend to visit him and sleep at his place.
This friend, let's call him P, isn't a close friend, more like a collegue from my previous job. He is now working in a different city between my current home and my parents' home. So I thought it was a good idea to just visit P on my way to my parents and do some tourism. BUG MISTAKE.
I arrived to P's house late at night. His house was dirty but I thought it wouldn't be that big of a deal and he was letting me stay for free. The first night was ok, I was really tired and didn't think too much. We woke up earlier and left to the beach.
On the second night, I realized some weird stains in the blankets. So I decided to inspect the bed...IT WAS FULL OF BED BUGS. Not only that, I looked around and found bed bugs all around the house, where my luggage was already on the floor. I left P's house as soon as possible telling him that my family needed me to be there earlier. Because the guy doesn't even realized the problem with his house.
I'm not going to talk more with P. Bed bugs almost ate me alive and I had to throw plenty of my things and be extremely careful with the rest so I don't bring them to my parent's
TLDR: I went to sleep to my friend's house, it was full of bedbugs and I realized too late.
PS: Sorry for my english, I'm not native and I'm writing in the phone. Yes, the bug mistake was a typo, but I left it because I like some foreshadowing.
double_chili_cheese: Easier to just throw all your clothes and luggage away than to deal with bed bugs.
croatiancroc: Luggage, yes. However wouldn't washing the clothes get rid of bed bugs?
apocalypticcow: Washing in hot water, and a hot dry cycle. Hot as possible for both. After that, keep them in black plastic bags until you can get the place treated.
OP, if you do bring them over, find yourself a pest control company that uses Apprehend. Usually only takes a one hour treatment and maybe a week or two for it to take full effect.
Bed bugs don't carry diseases through their bites like mosquitos or ticks do, so it's really just a matter of putting up with them for a while.
Southern-March1015: I throw most of the things I couldn't clean such as the suitcase. I put my things in plastic bags with pesticide and fortunately my parents have a washing/drying machine. Some of the clothes didn't survive the heat but it's better than bed bugs. My biggest doubt is what to do with my laptop, I have it outside in a plastic bag letting the sun heat it. I'm really scared, but at the same time it's a expensive thing so I don't want to throw it.
I hope it doesn't get to that point, but I will remember Apprehend, thanks!
apocalypticcow: Laptop should be okay. They do like to find cracks and crevices to hide, but in an already active infestation they generally have those already. Usually in the baseboards and behind electrical outlets. They like to find and stick to the areas that give them active food, so I can't see them hiding out in the laptop.
If you want to be excessively sure, you can find a lot of powder pesticides for bedbugs. Leave the laptop in a circle of the stuff beside your bed overnight. Any existent bugs will make their way to you, crossing the line and wiping them out. Home Defense Max is my recommendation for most crawling pests, but I don't remember if it takes out bedbugs too. Great for ants and spiders, though
| 6 | 15.5 | |
1659467653 | 1659471825 | t3_wekbpr | t5_2to41 | 48 | throwaway2910123: TIFU by being overly competitive
This happened last night. I'm 20F. I don't know if he has reddit so if you recognize yourself please don't read this.
Last night I went to a party at a friend's house. I got really really really drunk, like I-haven't-drink-in-a-month-but-now-I'm-sipping-vodka drunk. (Sidenote: I'm not from the US and drinking at 20yo is perfectly legal here).
The culminating point of the party was when we all went in my friend's hotthub. Obviously no one had brought swimsuit so we *obviously* were all naked. We're all pretty chill people so it didn't felt weird or anything. At one point, some people were fighting in the hotthub and I was driven close to my friend, "C" 24M.
I'll preface this by saying that C and I are pretty close friends, we often make sexual jokes, have a cringy humor etc. But I've always seen it as purely humorous and platonic. Well, when he came close to me, C tried to make me uncomfortable by being overly touchy. Problem is, if you try to make me cringe my reaction will be to try to over-cringe you. So I too became overly touchy and we kept trying to make the other one uncomfortable until one of us would quit, kind of like an heterosexual game of gay chicken. Another problem is, momma didn't raise no quitter so as he put is hand on my inner thigh, I too put mine on his. When he moved his hand further, so did I. I then accidentally touched his dick. It was fucking hard. My heart skipped a beat but my overly competitive dumbass kept my hand on his inner thigh.
I had the upper hand (lol) so I told him we should stop it and we both took our hands off each other. Immediately after I asked him if he could bring me back to my house like he had previously agreed to (not a flirting technique, it is just genuinely unsafe for a woman to walk alone at night, especially if drunk, and the other people present didn't know the neighborhood). He said yes, but that we had to wait a few minutes because of "you know what". Oh boy I wish I didn't knew.
We waited a bit then put our clothes back on, I said goodbye to the other people there and we left his house. On the way he talked a bit about what had just happened asking if I really didn't cringe at all and I told him that I didn't. I don't think I was lying at that point since I was too drunk to think straight, the embarrassement only came with the hangover. When we arrived at my place I told him goodbye and thanked him for bringing me home. I kissed him on the cheek like we usually do, and was about to go when he said "one more?" And kissed me on the lips. I don't know why but I kissed him back, it felt logical for some reason. But I didn't feel anything. Like, the only reason my underwear was wet was because of the hotthub, nothing else.
He then suggested we go hang out somewhere, I didn't really understood what he meant by that but I said no, we should leave it at that. I asked him to not tell what happened to the others and he told me not to worry. I went inside and just went to sleep.
I don't see him that way, I'm not attracted to him, I have no feeling beside friendship for him. And yet I now know what his dick feels like. Fuck.
TL;DR : Went to a party at a friend's house, ended up naked with him in his hotthub just because. Then accidentally touched his dick while trying to embarass him. It was rock hard. He brought me back to my house and kissed me. I don't see him that way. Fuck.
Mathfggggg: Well that's a dangerous game to play with your friend... I don't know you two but still.
throwaway2910123: Yeah I realize it now. I don't think I would have done it while sober. I'll be more careful the next time I drink
Mathfggggg: Honestly listen I don't want to be that guy that gives unwanted advice but I doubt alcohol was the only factor there, at least on C's side, as a guy I can tell you that feelings and hormones tend to make the line between friendship and a bit more really thin, add alcohol and walking that line straight is complicated, you said you were used to treating each other like that, I would personally talk that shit out and see where he is or where he wants to go, you know just so you both know each other's expectations.
I don't know either of you I'm just talking out of my own experience but I played this game, I got hurt and I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one hurt and honestly I don't know if the game can end without atleast someone getting hurt.
throwaway2910123: He has a girlfriend and they're in an open relationship. So I don't think he has any romantic feelings towards me. At most he feels sexual attraction, but I don't reciprocate. It was the first time one of our jokes went this far, I'll definitely won't engage in those in the future. If he tries to make advances again I'll have a discussion with him.
The whole thing was just a quiproquo, I didn't intend anything beside a joke, but I get how my behavior was ambiguous from his point of view so I won't reiterate the experience. Thank you for your input!
Mathfggggg: Well, no problem hope my past mistakes are of any use to you! Best wishes to you and your friend, also... Be careful with alcohol!
| 6 | 8 | |
1659467869 | 1659575689 | t3_wekewx | t5_2to41 | 34 | Broncs5280: TIFU buying football tickets
This actually happened today, the local football team sells 2,000 1/2 price tickets for each home game. This makes up less than 3% of seats at the stadium so as you can imagine they sell out pretty fast. As soon as they went on sale I put myself in the queue for every game, without double checking their schedule, and bought the first tickets I could for me and some friends. Only after purchasing did I realize I had bought tickets for preseason game number 3 meaning I get to drink $15 beers while watching players that probably won’t even make the team in a game I’d probably only 1/2 watch on TV. Worst of all I was far enough in front of the queue for games against division rivals that would have been awesome to go to.
TLDR didn’t pay attention now I have to go watch bad football in person.
Arthuro_27: Can't you use TicketSwap to get rid of them?
Broncs5280: 1/2 price tickets can’t be exchanged. Thanks Ticketmaster.
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1659469568 | 1659475213 | t3_wel4jb | t5_2to41 | 113 | [deleted]: Tifu by not wearing underwear to go to the hotel lobby
[removed]
AllThePrettyPenguins: Take the win bro, you just made their day and will forever more be known as The Elevator Dude
RLucas3000: One lady referred to him as Captain Packed-With-Peanuts.
AllThePrettyPenguins: Lol yes even better
| 4 | 28.25 | |
1659469900 | 1659562704 | t3_wel9ei | t5_2to41 | 33,747 | paigescactus: TIFU me and actually right now
So I work at a tire shop and go home for lunch. I love pickles, so much and just found out about zesty dill spears. They’re so freaking good. Well at lunch I open the jar and scroll Reddit. Not to long I realize I’m down to my last spear. I was so bummed out and thought man they should give you more but whatever. So I chug the pickle juice cause it’s delicious and head to tbell and back to work. My fuck up is I did not know that pickle juice in high quantities Is a very fast acting laxitive. My butt is a literal faucet right now and the whole shop is laughing at me. I’ll consider it a win if I make it through the shift without any accidents. So I hope y’all learn from my mistake.
TLDR: drank a whole jar of pickle juice and have severe diarrhea and stuck at work.
Yes I wash my hands
shartnado3: Need to borrow my username for a bit?
paigescactus: How much you charge?
shartnado3: $1 per Karma
paigescactus: Deal
i_poop_alot: I’ll go 75 cents per.
paigescactus: You might have a payday coming up. Ppl enjoy this shitty situation
0opsypoopsy: 50 cents.
say-wha-teh-nay-oh: This is the best one.
twats_upp: Zihuatenejo? Edit spelling
naturally0dd: I'm getting Shawshank vibes
twats_upp: It was a SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION.
| 12 | 2,812.25 | |
1659472086 | 1659989955 | t3_wem6ka | t5_2to41 | 19 | WearyKing4453: TIFU by ordering a used item on Amazon
This happened just an hour ago and I am in disbelief and honestly kind of laughing! I cannot believe this just happened.
Two days ago I ordered a set of silverware off Amazon. I had somehow been losing mine piece by piece until I had no knives and one or two forks and like three spoons. I was excited because they were less than half price because they were a returned item. (Please don't say it's gross i'm sure they weren't used or they wouldn't be resold, and it said like new. I am trying to leave an ab*sive situation but i'm financially controlled and I just wanted to treat myself; they were $15)
Well! I got a knock on the door and excitedly went to get it. I opened the package and it was there, with the "thanks for giving this product a new chance!" sticker and all. Looking back, I should have realized when I picked up the package but clearly I didn't 😅 So I go to open the box, fiddling with the type and finally get it cut, though I noticed the key cut through so fast I didn't even feel it. I open the box, super excited and ready for my new silverware ANNDDDD..... IT WAS EMPTY!!
I'm talking like the styrofoam is there, the repackage tape was there, the box, everything but the silverware!!! I took out the foam, wondering if somehow they are hiding a set of knives, fork and spoons underneath it 😭😭
I am SO confused. On top of this, my package still doesn't say delivered, so I can't talk to support yet. And even then, will they even believe me?? This doesn't sound real. "Hey I got a package and the amazon box was sealed but somehow the actual product box was open and empty, even though the package had the resealed sticker. How, you ask, did the silverware somehow vanish from inside a sealed box when I assume the box goes straight i'm being repacked into the amazon box? Why I have no idea! But I swear it's true!"
I have pictures! But I'm super hopeful that they believe me because I was so looking forward to this new set! The story though, it feels so beyond fake I couldn't believe it.
TL;DR
I treated myself to a set of silverware from Amazon with the little extra I had and the box showed up on my doorstep EMPTY. Still feels fake.
itport_ro: I am a customer of Amazon before the time when other conationals of mine did their best t get our country in a cone of shadow and I ordered a DVD set box from USA (3 disks in the case)
I got it, sealed (the dvd case)
I opened it and... first disk was missing!
Called them and reported the issue, the support person logged my report and told me during the same call, that a new case will be sent to me, free of charge,- which actually happened.
During the call I asked where shall I send the one with the missing disk and they told me that there's no need to send it back.
Which makes me believe that you will get either the money or a brand new set.
Success!
WearyKing4453: They did issue a return! I found another set at a very similar price so when it returns to my account I hope to get that one! Very much a success! Just not what I expected lol
itport_ro: Glad for you, congratulations! Hope to get what you want, this time!
WearyKing4453: A funny yet tragic update. So I reordered and then two days later it was canceled because they didn't actually have the product anymore. I order a different set and all the spoons came scuffed and bent. I was able to keep that set however and get a refund and i will be ordering a new set and will just have a lot extras. In a way it's worked out quite well!
itport_ro: Really glad for you! Keep it up! :-)
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1659473619 | 1659581600 | t3_wemt6f | t5_2to41 | 16 | Charmingstargazer: Tifu by drinking milk
Oh god, as I type this my stomach feels like an active volcano. I (16F) have always had an issue with milk, I’m pretty sure I’m lactose intolerant, however it’s never been anything past a small inconvenience if I want to eat a whole cheese pizza I wouldn’t even think about the after effects as it would usually come out in the form of a few toots and it would be over, nothing life changing enough to force me to change my diet. Well last week my grandmother came to the UK on holiday and my dad wanted to show her where we normally shop which ironically we do at Costco. It was on this dreaded day that my butterfly effect started, my father stated, “hey OP we’re in the milk section why don’t you
get some lactose free milk? It’ll do your stomach some good” and alas as the teenager I didn’t see anything harmful in this, if anything it was an opportunity to start taking lactose out of my diet and start making choices that would stop the small inconveniences in my life. And so, like the dumb child I was, I agreed and got enough cartons to last the week. Normally she shop in Costco once a month so I just wanted to check out how the lactose free milk worked with my currently frail and weak body. Speed up to the end of the last week of my dignity and the lactose free milk is finished, I’m a bit disappointed that my fartless week is over, but it is what it is. So this morning my dad asked me to do a quick shop at Iceland because while my grandma was here the eggs,bread and milk ran out. So like the young explorer I am I ventured off to Iceland ready to check of the items from the list, and honestly if I moved a bit faster I wouldn’t get exhausted so quickly, (I had to buy four large milk cartons and my house was walking distance from the shop but far enough that it would take some time)and I probably would have gotten home faster, maybe I would have had the energy to make a proper meal instead of a bowl of cereal with the normal milk. I strongly believe that the week I spent lactose free was the reason for this natural disaster. Oh god, only a few moment minutes after I finished the bowl, by stomach started to ache and swell like a dead whale body beached on the water bank waiting to explode, I was in so much pain it was agonising, I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy. Never. My stomachs went from normal to 9 months pregnant in a matter of minutes I felt what I could not describe as a fart nor a shit getting ready to leave my body and I took the chance… fart once twice thrice. At this point I considered myself lucky until I felt it. I knew that if I let it rip one more time, my joggers would be permanently coloured brown so I bolted. The bathroom is just over F feet from my room and that may have saved me from falling fron grace any further thanI already had. First it was an orchestra of fares, all long lasting and pungent to say the least - I then finally Let out what felt like a cannonball of shit before a waterfall left my passage rit was a horrendous explosive messI was crying as I felt the last of my dignity leave me and I was too afraid to look at the monstrosity that left my body.I was smart enough to bring my phone with me and made the hard decision to grow a pair and call my loving father only when he answered did I loose my composure andstarted laughing mirthlessly I was a hysteric mess of laughter before reality hit me and I started to cry like a baby who had just been named Edwin or Margret. These tears of pain only lead my farther to rush to the bathroom and in the time I spent opening the door and huddling into a corner like the coward I was a snail trail of liquid poo followed my every step causing the toxic smell to leave the bowl and enter the air so needless to say this was the most shameful moment of my life and it worried my father so much he tried to force me to go vegan because of a google search.so,i maybe the first lactose intolerant individual to take it seriously.
Tl/dr i stayed away from milk for too long and had explosive shit in my bathroom
Update: turns out I have celiac disease I have no clue house it went unnoticed for 16 years :D
Affectionate-Sea4375: Go find yourself some lactase enzyme capsules. It helps some of my siblings
Setthegodofchaos: I second this
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1659473918 | 1659479578 | t3_wemxiw | t5_2to41 | 155 | idklolol10293: TIFU by telling my dad he makes me suicidal
this is all really messing with me right now, sorry for bad grammar and if this just doesnt make sense.
i (15f) have always struggled with problems regarding my mental health, from as young as 8. my father has known this yet refuses to get me help despite my multiple suicide attempts.
he’s a loud, alcoholic man. he preaches about me being able to talk to him yet proceeds to get physical and yell at me when i try to talk to him (he also used past attempts against me in arguments)
earlier today, me, my dad and my brother were all sat outside together. i was wearing shorts that were fairly long but rode up my thigh when i sat down, my dad saw my fresh self harm. i freaked out saying it was just a scar but he proceeded to pull my shorts up, seeing all of the fresh cuts. this resulted in a sort of fight, my dad started yelling at me while my brother was criticising me in the background. my father hit me multiple times, got a wooden broom and threatened to hit me with it, i was a sobbing mess at this point when he asked me why i do this, i screamed it was his fault and that he makes me want to kill myself. (i could tell this hurt him, when i looked at his face he looked like he was about to cry)
he instantly went on a yell rant about how he works so hard for us, which is true. he does alot for our family. and that all im doing is hurting him, he refused to let me go back inside afterwards saying that im “not to be trusted alone”
he went inside to use the bathroom while i was left outside with my older brother, in short he basically just criticised me saying i hurt our dad and that i’m just attention seeking, that hurt me.
atm im being forced to share a bed with my father and go work with him. ive been thinking and i feel terrible, while my dad has his flaws that do somewhat contribute to my poor mental health its not right for me to say that. i feel terrible, but i also cant apologise because it feels like he refuses to see how much he hurts me on a daily by treating me like a live in slave and constantly screaming at me for minor problems. he loves me dearly and i know that more than anything.
i saw my strong father cry for the first time ever and it hit me hard
TL:DR dad saw selfharm, freaked out. i told him it was his fault, he cried
Capelily: **You are in danger.**
Talk to a trusted adult *who's not your Dad* and tell them the things you've written above--or better yet, show them this post.
You need good, caring people to help you find your way out of this horrible mess.
Please reach out to them asap. And *do not tell your brother.*
StubbornKindness: This. For God's sake OP, speak to someone trustworthy about this
| 3 | 51.666667 | |
1659478681 | 1659479960 | t3_weowq1 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Spook-Fox: TIFU by trying to help a new student
I will never attempt this again
TL;DR Hello everyone, and if I'm lucky hello Rslash! I love listing to your podcasts on Spotify when I'm at school!
Now this did happen a few months ago I don't exactly remember when, and it will become apparent why a fifteen year old doesn't remember when exactly this had happened.
So a bit of back story, growing up I've always been bullied throughout school, and it gave me anxiety, depression, paranoia, and PTSS (post traumatic stress syndrome), and I did eventually get expelled but that's another story that I can tell if you all are interested.
So starting the day off we got a new female student who I'll refer as SJ (stupid jerk, I would use cuss words but I want to make Rslash's life a bit easier) and everything was going fine untill the end of the day, enter a black 17 year old boy who I'll call AJ (assaultive jerk) and he decided to pick on the new student by taking her water bottle. I, knowing how it feels to be picked on, tried to get the bottle back, and made the mistake of trying to restrain AJ, he punched me very hard on the left side of my face around my jaw area 10 times (it was confirmed by another student) surprisingly he didn't knock me out our hurt me physically, but I was really really shaken up (also one important thing to mention is that I'm autistic and I've never been assulted) once the teachers got him off me, I felt hot, just heat spread throughout the area I was hit, no pain, just a hot temperature feel. I started pacing clearly shaken up badly and hurting mentally, a teacher offered a hug and that's when I broke down, I started to cry and I hug her and she comforted me, a teacher was telling the other students to leave the class but I said it's okie you don't have to make them leave. I eventually calmed down, and unfortunately my parents did talk me out of pressing charges which I do regret, and he only was suspended for three or four days, and when he returned he saw me, pointed at me, and said "there's that b*tch"
And you might be wondering why I called the new student SJ, well that's because she never thanked me, never cared, and actually picked on me some.
I am not looking forward to going back too school in two weeks I haven't even been out for three months. TL;DR
sngle1now2020: The statute of limitations hasn't expired, I bet. "There's that bitch" might get admitted at a trial to prove intent.
Spook-Fox: I also should mention I'm 5ft 10 inches and he's a good 3-5 inches shorter, but, idk the laws of Ohio and assault, I had talked to an officer a few days later i was called a bitch and he said I couldn't
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1659479910 | 1659481514 | t3_wepe27 | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating dairy
[deleted]
RacconHero: First of all, .
Second of all, you could get some Lactaid pills, it will help you with dairy digestion next time.
i_like_unicorns_and_: Really???? Apparently everyone I am with knew this and didn’t tell me! 😂😂😂
RacconHero: I was once like you too. I mean who could say no to ice cream, you just gotta poop out the consequences afterwards anyway  but for real so, keep some on hand, it will help a lot
i_like_unicorns_and_: You really are a hero!!!!
| 5 | 3.6 | |
1659484129 | 1659488337 | t3_weqzza | t5_2to41 | 30 | dalmie: TIFU by assuming my stomach was indestructible
I love spicy food. And I mean, the really spicy stuff. I always ask restaurants to dial it up to 11 and use red peppers and various sauces liberally in my own food and have never had a problem with it in the past.
Well, I turned 30 several months ago. From a few months ago, At seemingly random times, I would find myself suddenly nauseous for no apparent reason and couldn’t pin it on anything I could remember. It would last 30 minutes or so then die down though at it’s peak I would have to heave over the sink but never actually vomited. I chalked it up to my body just looking for equilibrium.
Anyway, last week at the farmer’s market I got a beautiful pint of “really spicy” mango habanero salsa. A few days ago I got some chips and decided to dig in - and this is when things began to go haywire.
I ended up eating about half the pint. No biggie. Good stuff. My mouth was burning but that was par for the course. About 30 minutes later, the nausea hit hard. After sweating and heaving for a good amount of time, I found myself vomiting up all that salsa and chips as my stomach begged for reprieve from the burning. And I came to the realization- my days of having an iron stomach are over. It’s done with my shit and won’t tolerate unhinged consumption of capsaicin any longer. Those nausea spells from the last few months were the warning signs but I didn’t put two and two together.
As I mull over this life changing turning point in my life, the second half of the habanero salsa sits on my fridge, waiting.
TLDR: I ate half a pint of habanero salsa with chips and vomited them up hard sometime later, bringing me to the revelation that my days of spicy food for days is over.
OceanSupernova: I feel your pain! I love really hot food, I've eaten the hottest pizza on the planet at 13,000,000 scovilles (I begged for death a few hours later but that's beside the point). Think I did some real damage long term because now even a spicy curry can cause me to have stomach cramps.
I've found a way to cheat though by having a bowl of full fat natural yogurt before I eat something mega spicy. I get to enjoy hot food and my stomach has no idea I've even devoured that thai curry so hot my lips are numb and my face is sweating.
dalmie: Thanks for sharing that yogurt trick. I need to find ways to get around this!
StanfordTheGreat: Dude or dudette. get a work up. This sounds more like chronic gastritis. If you don’t actually get it looked at, you end up at risk for a bunch of GI cancers. Most of it is nipping your stomach with ppi or Pepcid till it’s way knocked out, then avoiding Triggers. I had the same thing- my trigger? Peanut butter. Back on the ss spicy express
dalmie: Good advice. Thanks🙏
| 5 | 6 | |
1659481642 | 1659508688 | t3_weq28x | t5_2to41 | 4,376 | RoughRaptors: TIFU By Accidentally Stealing A Human
This was last night. I went to a nearby taco/burrito truck to get some dinner. As I get out of my car, a homeless man asks me for a burrito from where I'm headed to. I say no, sorry, and keep walking. I live in Washington State USA, and there's unfortunately a lot of homeless people here. As I get in line to order I feel bad, so I ordered an extra burrito to give to him as I went back to my car.
As I'm waiting for the food, the homeless man showed up to the truck with some money. I stand up, go up to him, pull him aside and tell him that I already ordered him a burrito. He didn't speak much English and he spoke softly so it was tough to communicate, but I got him to sit down and I waited with him. He tried to get up a few times to pay but I kept saying that I already ordered and it's going to be here with my food. It was all very confusing for both of us. Somebody overheard this and came up behind me and handed me a $5 bill saying "Here's my part". It was super nice of him and unexpected, but not the weird part of the story.
While waiting for the food, a family comes up to the truck to order with a homeless man and he orders a burrito. I'm a little confused because I only saw one. So, who do I have? Wtf? I am incredibly bad with faces, and when I got out of my car the first man who asked was a bit far away so I couldn't see much of him. I finally realize that **they** have the person who asked me when I got out of my car. I ended up just stealing a fucking person out of line line to get food and sat him down, in his eyes, randomly. He was probably so confused and it's why he kept trying to pay.
So the food gets ready, I open the bag, hand him the burrito, and tell him to have a good night and he says thanks. I leave and go back to my car, he leaves and...goes back to his car. Yeah, this was just some dude. He happened to be pretty old, a little dirty, and had troubles getting around (if you saw him you would think the same). He still needed help, that was obvious. With the little bit we spoke, he seemed to have it pretty rough. I don't regret it so it's not a major FU it anything, but holy shit I am massively embarrassed. I am still cringing from last night.
tldr: confused a random guy with a homeless guy from earlier and stole him temporarily to sit at a table and gave him food
Trick-Landscape5581: Well, stealing somebody to give them food is a lot better than what some people do. in all seriousness, it was still very nice of you.
Ifldequiremesdf: Anyone steal me anytime for this reason, PLEASE
Trick-Landscape5581: Oh baby, I'll steal you right now.
Charming_Love2522: I'll steal you so hard
Trick-Landscape5581: So hard you'll be seein stars.
RockstarAgent: Starry eyed surprise gone wrong
| 7 | 625.142857 | |
1659485048 | 1659536183 | t3_werclv | t5_2to41 | 33,238 | SlimVali: TIFU by going on a date with a girl from Tinder who seemed way too good to be true and not seeing the red flags.
I (23M) was talking to this girl (23F) for a week on Tinder and Instagram. She was gorgeous and she seemed very fun and outgoing but she did have a investment girl boss vibe to her (and that's ok but I should've seen it coming).
I asked her for a coffee date and she says yes, we meet up and she looks good but not exactly like her photos, no problem there let's see if we connect I thought.
The first 10mins goes great, conversation is flowing and I ask her if she wants some coffee (after all we're at a coffee shop on a coffee date), she says no, because she had some earlier (first red flag, I mean who goes on a coffee date but drinks some just before the actual date?)
A tells me to go and get one for myself if I want. Alright no problem, I go and get my coffee and when I come back, there's another girl at our table.
She says, hey this is my partner (we'll call her B), I was working with her earlier. That's when it hit me that this wasn't a date lol.
B starts asking me questions about my job, my studies and asks me If I would listen to their business plan so that I could make more money each month (lmao).
So she takes out a notepad and starts explaining me their business model and how much money I would make If I would find 3 other persons who would find 3 other people themselves, etc.
I straight up tell her : "So this is like a pyramid scheme right? This ain't no date?" To which A responds : "Oh it is a date but you seemed like a cool person to become our partner (lmao what) and this isn't a pyramid scheme, it's multi-level-marketing (MLM)". Okay so exactly the same thing. I couldn't believe that this was happening to me.
Oh boy, so I sat there for legit 15 more mins and listened to them explain to me how I could make up to 5k a month if I were to get 100 people to join this business.
I told them I had to leave to go to the vet with my dog. They didn't seem happy that I wasn't interested in their MLM lmao. I laughed so much on the way home that I was crying.
TLDR : Went on a coffee date with a gorgeous girl from Tinder and when I went to get my coffee she texted her business partner to come and pitch me their pyramid scheme business model for 30mins.
Edit 1 : Thank you so much for the awards, upvotes and comments! I did report A's profile on Tinder as spam as soon as I got home. The product they were trying to sell were some vitamins, proteins, Omega-3 tablets and some "very good collagen" lol.
throwaway_2567892: Turn the tables and start offering IT services for their fast growing business at the low low rate of 100 dollars an hour.
But wait there is more. For each additional person each hour of IT support will cost 50¢ less, up to a max of 50 dollars per hour.
Please not this only covered support and not any type of gear, or design.
NoOrdinaryBees: TBF, that is a low, low rate.
Yourgrammarsucks1: You're crazy. That's $200,000 a year. A helpdesk 3 level employee is like $85,000. And I'm being kinda generous.
AussieEquiv: https://bizfluent.com/how-5954570-calculate-charge-out-rate.html
Charge out rate /= wage.
StevenTM: If you’re a one-man IT shop, charge out rate == wage.
mistersausage: No, because of not getting any benefits and paying self employment tax.
StevenTM: So.. it's brutto wage. Which is what "wage" usually refers to.
Y'all can't do basic math to save your lives
mistersausage: Eh, usually when people talk about "wages" in the USA they don't include benefits, the payroll tax covered by employer, retirement, health insurance, etc.
StevenTM: I don’t know where you’re getting this from. It almost always refers to brutto (before any taxes, including retirement and health insurance), and includes benefits.
mistersausage: Ask a random person on the street how much they make, most will just tell you their salary not including any of that. It's why the hourly rate of a consultant/contractor is usually 2x what the non benefit wage is of a W-2 employee.
StevenTM: People in the US literally almost never use netto wages when discussing wages. If you ask a random person on the street in the US what they make, they’ll tell you their yearly brutto (including benefits and before any taxes)
| 12 | 2,769.833333 | |
1659485901 | 1659581035 | t3_wero0w | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to shave with Scissors
[deleted]
because_of_ghosts: I didn’t want to read this, but I did. I knew what was going to happen anyways and I still read it.
lunalily22: I made the same mistake
RudeSprinkles1240: Me too.
Setthegodofchaos: Me three
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1659487251 | 1659599232 | t3_wes5my | t5_2to41 | 94 | One_Science8349: TIFU by accepting the Death Nut challenge at work
I work in construction (this is important later) and lately the various hot food challenges have been making their rounds through the staff, with hilarious fallout. So far I’d managed to wave off the challenger with smart ass comments but today, for some reason, I felt the urge to take part in a display of great might. The owner of the nuts hadn’t bothered bringing them to our morning meeting because he figured he’d gotten to anyone stupid, I mean brave enough to accept, but I quietly indicated interest and that old man scampered off so gleefully to collect his nuts you could almost hear the cartoon scramble track playing in the background.
I took the nuts and tossed them in my mouth, chewed them completely, then sat there holding the masticated fire in my mouth for a few extra moments to puff myself up and frighten away potential predators before swallowing it down. Yeah yeah, I know now you’re supposed to do them one after the other, oops we’ve all done it wrong. Heat spread through my face, into my sinuses, and down my throat to a small pit just under my sternum where it remained. I gasped and choked for a minute or two, wiped away some tears, then got back to work. I mean it was HOT and it wasn’t fun, but it wasn’t that bad. I got some serious kudos and I’m pretty sure I grew some hair on my imaginary testicles.
Day progressed as normal, I ate a yogurt because gut health is important and it was probably a good idea to put something else in my stomach besides coffee and 13M Scoville peanuts. I really was fine until around lunchtime. I didn’t feel like eating, but I joined some coworkers to unwind for a bit and shoot the shit. I wound up in the middle of an impromptu meeting with a superintendent as we started talking about a material issue and potential impacts, paths forward.
At the other end of the table, a young man was describing how horrible the challenge had been for him and that it made him puke. I felt it coming. I swallowed several times, but the mention of vomit, an unsettled stomach, and the commingling scents of multiple and conflicting meals pushed me over the edge.
I stood up, announced “I no longer feel comfortable continuing this conversation” and calmly strolled into the bathroom. Where I proceeded to spend about thirty minutes spewing as quietly as possible into a trashcan I could barely contain in my grasp because I was actually dripping in sweat. Sometimes I got a break from a dual orifice evacuation and faced the oddly blessed relief of passing pure capsaicin bile or ass piss individually.
Ever shit so hard you feel the need to strip naked? It’s only happened twice in my life before today and both instances were food poisoning related and involved medical intervention. I was dizzy, soaked in sweat with tunnel vision starting to form, dry heaving, shaking, and wondering if I’d finally managed to kill myself with a poisoned peanut.
As the edges of my field of vision started to close in, I came to the realization that I was not in a good place to fall out or die. Various scenarios played out of the potential possible outcomes and only through sheer force of willpower did I manage to practice my breathing exercises in that hellscape of a pepper polluted bathroom and pull myself through the literal shitstorm.
I emerged from the freshly cleaned and Lysol soaked bathroom ten pounds lighter and head held high because not only did I survive the death nut challenge, but I also did not become the topic of a site wide safety stand down.
TL;DR summary, I did the death nut challenge at work and nearly passed out while passing my colon.
dai-the-flu: "I no longer feel comfortable continuing this conversation" took me out
CMDRissue: "If you'll pardon my absence gentlemen, I no longer have the intestinal fortitude to continue discussions related to this matter."
Lucigirl4ever: >I feel more drama is needed "Death is coming for me, I shall meet it head on."
| 4 | 23.5 | |
1659489029 | 1659489650 | t3_wesseu | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my virginity to my professor, and probably destroyed her marriage
[deleted]
athensugadawg: Gotta ask, did you get your degree?
RandomHero3129: It's what we're all wondering.
| 3 | 3 | |
1659488971 | 1659571012 | t3_wesrnn | t5_2to41 | 19 | DrGildersleeve: TIFU by telling my mom I wanted iced tea spoons
Defiant did not happen today, but I continue to feel the effects daily, more than 2 decades later. My spouse is currently stirring spaghetti sauce with a tea spoon, which we will then try to use to serve the sauce, bc neither of us wants to wash another utensil.
My mom used to use Betty Crocker points to buy things. She started a silverware set for me as an adolescent. She calls me one day in college asking me what i wanted to finish out the set. The style I had liked when she started was going out, so she needed to order the rest now.
Did I want iced tea spoons? Wtf? I didn’t know. I had homework, classes, a fee babysitting gigs, and rugby. I was a depressed college student with access to nothing but an illegal hotpot and a school meal card (trust me, i recognize my privilege with the latter). My world did not consider useful utensils for everyday life after college. Yeah, sure, iced tea spoons.
FF 2 decades we have the whole set of silverware, including iced tea spoons. My spouse uses them for EVERYTHING. Darling, HOW are you eating cereal with an iced tea spoon when there are a gazillion other, more appropriate spoons in our kitchen?
And why oh why? Why do you stir things on the stove with a damn iced tea spoon?!?! We have… PLENTY of more-suited spoons.
I will spend a few extra seconds, and a few drops of tomato sauce, spooning out my sauce and meatballs with an iced tea spoon. Because it’s ridiculous how much I love my spouse and appreciate their cooking and I love my mother for her heartfelt consideration of me as a potential adult. Who does things like drink iced tea.
TL; DR Tell my mom to buy iced tea spoons; spouse torments me with them
grixit: Iced tea spoons are great. I use them to scoop ice cream, to load ice from container to glass, to mix pancake batter, to get the last of the mayonaise out of the jar and spread it, same with peanut butter, to scoop drippings from a baking pan, and to eat watermelon. And even, stir iced tea.
DannyPoke: ...Might need to buy some iced tea spoons to get the sweet sweet bottom of the jar spreads.
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1659494581 | 1659495175 | t3_weuqon | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my daughter cancer
[removed]
Corey3500: Of course you could prevent this by not telling a pregnant person to smoke in the first place, this just baffles me but you do you, good luck to your daughter I wish her all the best and I hope this has made you quit 👍
electric_cat_YT: if you want me to quit clearly you don’t understand how much i love doing this thing
rollypollyover: Yeah we could tell that you love it more than your daughter
electric_cat_YT: i love my daughter a lot also :(
rollypollyover: Ah I now see I have been j’baited and will stop interacting with this post any further. If you’re reading this now don’t bother giving attention cause that’s what this post is begging for. GL with life ig
electric_cat_YT: what does that mean ??
| 7 | 0.571429 | |
1659497030 | 1659500622 | t3_wevl1n | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by joking to my girlfriend that she’s only with me for a green card
[deleted]
lite_crumpet: Women are gonna eat you alive.
I would say she got upset because you are correct.
Even you know it , that is why its on your mind . Its called a fraudian slip
snausagesinablanket: >I would say she got upset because you are correct.
Winner winner chicken dinner.
OP dodges a fat bullet again.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1659498962 | 1659550348 | t3_wew845 | t5_2to41 | 1,438 | Aedrone: TIFU by having an embarrassing realization about Donuts.
Not sure if this belongs here, but here you go anyways.
Not today but pretty recent. Me and my wife were in one of our many local donut shops grabbing a bite for breakfast. She orders her usual Ham, Egg, Bacon and cheese croissant and decides she also wants donut holes. We checkout, leave and get in our car. As we sit in the car eating, I ask "I wonder why they're called Donut Holes, and how they're always the same size." She says "What" very deadpan. I tell her I'm being serious and then she asks me a question that immediately makes me realize my stupidity. "Babe, what's in the middle of a Donut?"
Needless to say I didn't answer the question and she couldn't stop laughing the whole ride home. She told her family. I'm never telling mine. Now her and her family poke fun at me every time they video chat. BTW I'm 24 fucking years old.
TLDR - Realized why they're called Donut Holes and now I get made fun of for it.
Edit: It seems I've confused people internationally. Donut Holes are supposed to be the cutout of the middle of a Donut. Y'know, because there's a hole in a donut, well most donut shops sell little donut balls called Donut Holes. I don't think they're actually made from being cutout but the name implies it.
tggfurxddu6t: Timbits
Superpokekid: Munchkins if you're from the Northeastern freedomland.
Vyper11: I’m from northeast and we have way more Tim’s than dunkins depending on where you are
Walnuss_Bleistift: What is Tim's?
Vyper11: Tim Hortons. They’re generally a gigantic chain of Canadian coffee places like dunkin but depending on where you are they have a lot of places in the US too.
Walnuss_Bleistift: Oh gotcha. There are none in my area of PA (that I know of...). Idk why but I always thought Tim Hortons was more like Hardee's or Carl's Jr., I didn't realize they were a coffee chain!
KaelAltreul: I know one opened up in Allentown, PA... and it's terrible. Was good the first month though.
Walnuss_Bleistift: Oof. I'm pretty close to Allentown - I'll have to ask my friends who live there about it.
KaelAltreul: It's at the arena. I lived on 6th and Hamilton, but they bought my building from me and built a giant glass monstrosity and I left Allentown as fast as I could haha. I think it's still there.
| 10 | 143.8 | |
1659499301 | 1659565709 | t3_wewc9w | t5_2to41 | 8 | JubileeJonez: TIFU telling my brother I am bi
Hello boys, girls, and everyone in between!
This is a true TIFU. Buckle in folks!
I (F,33) am moving across country for work. My company is paying for a moving service. The only stipulation is I cannot pack any food, drinks, or plants. (RIP my plant babies)
Tonight I cleaned out my liquor cabinet. I cleaned it in the most economical way, by drinking all the contents.
While polishing off a bottle of bourbon my brother (35, M) sends me a picture of a cartoon we watched as kids. He asked if I remembered it. My drunk ass said, “Yes! That’s how I figured out I am bi!”
If anyone wants to know it was “Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School.” There was some light bondage and I had the biggest crush on Phantasma. Don’t judge, I was four years old.
Minutes after the text I get a call from my mom. She’s not upset that I’m bi. She just wants to know which of my roommates were actually roommates and which ones were well… more. So freaking awkward.
My dad, who doesn’t exactly understand bi vs lesbian, is yelling in the back “I knew X that you knew in college was gay!”
It’s been tons of phone calls between me, my parents, and my brother. The fun just won’t end.
TL;DR
Brother sent me a screenshot of a cartoon we watched as kids. Told him that cartoon confirmed I was bi. My parents are having a field day.
I also had I huge thing for April O’Neil. When she got tied up by Shredder or Krang I knew I was bi and into BDSM. Didn’t learn the exact terms until I was in high school.
jsc315: This is so wholesome. As annoying as this can be, I can just feel the love in this family. It's honestly made me smile. Congrats
JubileeJonez: My first award! Thank you!!!
jsc315: No problem. I really loved this story.
| 4 | 2 | |
1659500899 | 1659575320 | t3_wewv5c | t5_2to41 | 355 | Smilwastaken: TIFU by trying to carry soda while riding a bike
So, while this didn't quite happen today, it DID happen 2 days ago.
I was riding my bike around town when I decided I wanted to get some food for when I got home. I tried to go to Wendy's but, alas, the inside was closed.
So after biking home from Wendy's, I decide to make a quick pitstop at our local gas station, where I buy some soda and a pizza. I put the pizza on the rack I have attached to my seat and carry the soda in my hand.
In hindsight this was a really dumb move. I had thought it would be fine of course, my gas station is literally right next to my house. But unfortunately, it wasn't. Cause literally 30 seconds later.
I lose control of the bike.
Now, had I have had two free, open hands I likely would've been fine. Unfortunately I only had one, so I ended up making a hard ride, and falling off my bike right onto the curb with my chin. I had a very deep gash and blood literally went across the street.
Long story short, some cool guys come to see whats wrong, run to the fire department (yes I managed to fall right next to the fire department) and they stop the bleeding. I go to the ER, and after a few hours of waiting I get 4 stitches on my chin and a splint for my left wrist, which I had managed to hyperextend but thankfully not break.
So yeah, that's how I ended up with 4 stitches and a splint :)
TL:DR
I fell off my bike and landed on my chin while carrying soda, leaving me with 4 stitches and a splint
TraderJ03: Sorry to hear that bro, hope the pizza was ok
Smilwastaken: Shockingly it was unharmed
phoenixink: Can we please see pictures of the injuries and/or pizza
Smilwastaken: Pizza was already eaten, but I can upload the picture my dad took to Imgur
[https://imgur.com/a/tlOulwW](https://imgur.com/a/tlOulwW)
its fairly graphic, so watch out
Content_Company5592: Oof! That’s sore. I’m glad you still got your pizza though
Smilwastaken: Thank ya, it surprisingly didn't hurt as bad as my wrist
| 7 | 50.714286 | |
1659508803 | 1659509333 | t3_wez872 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: Tifu by mixing up a song
[removed]
ihaventgotany: Just own it. Lean in. Go out there and do it better than they expect.
ThatLove: Do the best out of them all, be their lead dancer, and after that you get a group of friends to dance with
| 3 | 2 | |
1659509277 | 1659509771 | t3_wezd3e | t5_2to41 | 35 | bodakorange: TIFU by going to do my bosses expenses and realizing that my Door Dash orders have been charging to her corporate card
I truly hate my life and myself. The other day I went to go pay my bosses expenses and I realized that not one, not two, but THREE of my personal food/grocery orders were charged to her corporate account. I’m already terrified of her and now I need to go ask for her corporate bank login so I can pay off the charges and deal with the expenses. According to one other assistant that’s the protocol but I’m also afraid of asking BA because my other boss routinely doesn’t send me his receipts and his card gets shut off so they already are on my ass. Will I get fired? Not sure. But haven’t been able to sleep in days over this one. And next week is my 1 year. Rookie, but not so rookie, mistakes.
I can't have salt rubbed in this wound. This is probably my worst nightmare but there is really nothing I can do about it other than fess up and try and make it right.
I think I might be the worst assistant on the planet but also this job has quite literally sucked the soul out of me.
TL;DR I accidentally have been putting my personal purchases on my bosses corporate card.
schooner-of-old: I don’t understand…it’s a simple mistake that is easily rectified?
bodakorange: It’s more having to deal with my boss rather than the actual act of it. I know it’s not truly a big deal in the scheme of things but I’m scared of her reaction.
hhseem: Do you work for Miranda Priestley?
bodakorange: More or less so, yes.
hhseem: Ugh, good luck!
| 6 | 5.833333 | |
1659515858 | 1659524234 | t3_wf16cz | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my bf from another account
[deleted]
ihih_reddit: I'm interested, what you like about him? Or what's causing you to stay with him?
Head-Philosopher133: he treats me amazingly and is always there for me no matter what and i love him. the only problem is that he keeps lying to me about things because he doesn’t want me to leave him
ihih_reddit: Thanks for replying! That makes sense, but I guess it's up to you to decide whether it's worth staying with him or not after all of this
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1659517612 | 1659565150 | t3_wf1naj | t5_2to41 | 54 | simonduarte: TIFU by meeting a possesed girl from tinder.
Okey so i got the insperation to share this story by another post i read.
This happened about 1 year ago. I(m 24 at the time) had just broken up with my gf and was lookin for some easy hook ups on tinder. I proceeded to start chattin to this really gorgous girl Who had previously been a model. She lived like 1.5 hours away tho but it was not really an issue. We decided that i should come to her since she had an apartment for herself.
When i met her we really hit it of well fast. She was funny and talkative like me so we did not have any uncomfortable silences. Still i tend to get a bit stressed out so we had already planned on takin a few drinks at her place.
When we started to drink however things went South and i mean really South so fast. She had bought a bottle of vodka so maybe you can guess what happened. Also i understood that she had adhd and had some serious medication for it(dunno if she had taken some).
Well now over to what became a fucking horror movie for me. We were laying on the sofa and all of the sudden she starts to say "how can you say these things to me and be so mean". I did not know what the hell she was talking about cuz i had not said a thing. Uncomfortable by her starting to weep about it, i went to use the bathroom. She followed after me and in there she started to literally hit me in the face multiple times. I grabbed her hands but then she leaned forward and bit me really fuckin hard in the arm like a rabid dog. I told here to calm down or else i was going to get the fuck out. This is were things took another turn cuz she started saying sorry and crying like hell. I thought that she maybe was just really drunk and if we chilled a bit on the sofa and gave her som water she would calm. Oh how wrong i was. We went back to the sofa and she started to, like a maniac, saying back and forth that "she loved me" and "she hated me". She went also all schizo again and started talking to herself and answering question that i had not asked. She started to become aggressive again, and the things she said was like the once before that " i was being so mean to her". Now i was so stressed out that i had sobered up completely and thinkin how the hell i should get out of there. I was actually fearing for my life as the kitchen was in the livingroom and she had knives all over the place. I felt like she was not far away from actually being capable of grabbing one. Then she started hitting me again and i was like "nah fuck this im out of here". she started to become a demon and yelled at me while she was hysterically crying. I ran to the door with my things and she ran after me but i got out. The last image i have of her in my brain is her in the doorway crying while lookin possesed.
Now i had another problem tho as i was in a Town ive never really been to. Luckily, like 20 mins away my friend and his gf lived. He wasnt home but he said that i could just stay there for there for the night.
When women now try to bite me for sexual reasons. I Remember that woman and freeze almost. So yeah. Not fun.
TL;DR. I met a girl on tinder and she became to drunk and started to hit me and also became kinda schizo. Feared for my life so got the fuck out of there.
Throwawayskrskr: Getting bitten for sexual reasons an OP freezes for 5 secs like a deer blinded by the headlights. then proceeds like nothing happend.
"No babe, I wasn't freezed for 5 secs... what are you talking about"
Firewolf420: [OP, colorized. 2022](https://c.tenor.com/f3aKhmd2T_MAAAAC/vietnam-horror.gif)
| 3 | 18 | |
1659514109 | 1659523758 | t3_wf0p2s | t5_2to41 | 25 | dontlooksosurprised: TIFU ruining my arm for damn french fries
This is a TIFU today and also every day for the last 2.5 weeks. It’s an ongoing battle I lose with my arm to the french fry disaster of ‘22 and every day the devil is doing his work in the trenches to show me there are indeed levels to hell whenever I think I’ve reached the bottom.
Our fated story begins as I said, roughly 2.5 weeks ago, when I foolishly gambled with my skin by raw-dogging my entire arm and hand into the scalding air fryer to flip those f*ckers over, too lazy to use a utensil. Well friends, I payed dearly. My arm right under my wrist hit the scorching iron and instantly claimed my skin as a casualty. I threw ice on it (not good) and tried antibiotic and butt paste via Reddit’s words of wisdom.
Something of a glitch in the system, but these methods failed me and by the following week I was confirmed to have a sizeable patch of some sort of MRSA from the burn wound. Alrighty, so I get some topical crap and if a red line starts up my arm, I oughta start the oral antibiotics.
Sure enough, as the demon burn marches on haughtily come the next morning, lo and behold the red line of death up my arm. I try to stay calm and immediately start the antibiotics. However, after 3 days the redness and swelling spreads as the grotesque hole where my burn was deepens. My skin feels like a flaming army of fire ants are tap dancing day and night, and a fever graces my miserable presence.
No good. Aaaalrighty, off I go back to the doctors and get a new antibiotic and shot of antibiotic. They also draw a line around the growing inflammation and say if it spreads by evening to go to the ER. Aaaaand as they said, so did it happen!😩
Relaying all this to the ER, I found that God is not the only one who works in mysterious ways here on earth. So, too, does His counterpart; and fulfilling his role to the fullest was an ER doc that couldn’t give a single damn. He disregarded everything I said was happening and he wasn’t worried about the infection spreading past the previous provider’s line or the fever.
To get me to outta there, he ordered me a new topical antibiotic to use in addition to the meds. *aaaaaaaaaaaalrighty then*. So I decide to return home to perish in the comfort of my own bed and kept on with the new meds regimen as a Hail Mary.
Now, 6 days later, the injury sight was looking much better. Just kidding. It was looking much *different*. Now I had my entire arm covered in a medieval looking plague rash that itches as much as it hurt. Fantastic. I have a weak stomach for the disgusting and at this point would find no greater pleasure than to set my arm to fire and call it a draw….but…I have shit to do that requires both arms (sigh) so back into the doc I go.
Turns out, I’m allergic to almost every antibiotic and topical medicine out there, and before this, I’ve never had a single known allergy to anything. So now I must restart this grueling process with an all new regimen of meds and must toss the dice of fate to see where this neverending rollecoaster of pain will take me next. Anyways, f*** airefryers (or my laziness or whatever). This past month is turning out to be a real peach
TLDR; 2.5 weeks ago burned my arm on air fryer out of sheer stupidity/laziness, got infected with MRSA, has gotten worse every few days and all meds have made it worse until recently…in which case the wound looked better but now my arm is infested with the worst rash of my life. Doc says I’m allergic. We’ll see🤦♀️ hope it resolves soon. The french fries were not worth it
Beginning_Win1274: Errm, allergic to what? That’s not how it works I believe, allergy should go away sometime after exposure. If I was on your place I would search for a second opinion.
ThinkCow83: Allergy to the antibiotics I'd guess!
Beginning_Win1274: Could be but what he is talking about sounds like some serious infection.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1659520376 | 1659521670 | t3_wf2emb | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by being new to Reddit
[deleted]
deteleted: just create another account, what is reddit karma really good for anyway
FunkyTown313: Yep, reddit karma has no value.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1659521443 | 1659665666 | t3_wf2pua | t5_2to41 | 8 | Temporary_Bonus2536: TIFU BY TELLING MY RELATIVES MY MOM AND I FOUGHT
Context: growing up, my mom and I always had a rocky relationship. I resented her since my whole childhood was spent taking care on my siblings. Im 21 F, and the eldest of 7. My dad and my mom always fought, and it would always end up her running away from home, my dad coming to get her, my mom getting pregnant, giving birth, them fighting again and her running away from home.
Anyways, my mom and I got closer again when the youngest, twin brothers, were 3 years old. She was always around already, and was attentive of us.
Lately, we have been fighting again. Im still a college student, but I got into freelancing to support my wants. I had no problem giving my mom a portion of my money when she asked, since it was just always spent to buy food for us. Im not the breadwinner per say, but my dad was only a minimum wage earner, and the money I earned was a big help for our everyday needs.
Then my freelancing job got stopped, and I was only living off from the savings I have left. My mom has been irritable because of this, and since then has been calling me greedy when I say I dont have any more money left.
Last month, we got into a fight. She got fed up because I declined giving her money, and at that time I was scolding my siblings (the twins) for breaking my laptop. I needed the laptop since I was an engineering student and was planning to find clients again for freelancing. She got so angry at me saying I was a nobody and I didn't have any rights to scold her children. She hit me with whatever she could find- her hot coffee in her hand, her fists, water, chairs, hammer, and stuff I dont even remember anymore. I didnt cry, I was just angry at the whole situation. Why would she hate me for not having money? Im still a student. Why didn't I have rights to scold my siblings? They broke my laptop and they're just my siblings too!
The next day I was called by my aunt to attend my half brother's graduation. (Same dad, different mom) My aunt, a rich businesswoman, was the one who paid for my brother's college, and my uncle, a priest is the one paying for my college. She asked why I had a lot of green and blue bruises all over me, and I spilled that my mom and I fought. I asked her a lot of times to not tell anyone, since the fight was just a family fight. She promised to keep it a secret.
This is where I fucked up. Today my mom came home very angry at me why I told our relatives that we fought, and she's specifically angry that I told everyone that we fought because I didn't give her money. She hit me so hard and kicked me and I felt so guilty because I love my mom and she said she felt so embarrassed hearing about it from others. She's still my mom and I realized I f*cked up that I told my aunt, who apparently cant keep secrets and told everyone about it. I realized the next time this happens, what happens inside the house should just be kept inside the house.
TL;DR My mom I fought and I told my aunt about it who spread to my relatives. I felt guilty because I love my mom and she felt embarrassed that we fought about money and I shouldn't have told anybody our fight.
SamZDDixon: Love, you're being abused. Sure it's ok for your mom to be upset about not having more money for food but she should not be hitting you, *especially* with anything harder than a slap. You're 21, a grown adult, she shouldn't be trying to 'discipline' you anyway. And from what you've written, it sounds like you were more of a mom to your siblings than your actual mom so it makes sense that you would discipline them, especially after they've broken your belonging.
I'd find some other relative you can live with, and tell your oldest sibling to be careful around your mom because once you're gone I don't doubt she'll go after them next. Please stay safe OP and get out of there as soon as you possibly can
Edit: added the word not
Bax_Cadarn: Just wanna point out You missed a "not" in "she should be hitting you".
SamZDDixon: I think I tried spelling shouldn't and auto correct just said no and I didn't realize at the time. Thanks <3
| 4 | 2 | |
1659523009 | 1659528222 | t3_wf368u | t5_2to41 | 69 | WheelBite_: TIFU by scalding my dick with boiling water.
So for a little bit of context every morning I get up and make a cup of tea for me and my girlfriend. And I had got up about 45 seconds prior to these events taking place and hence, was extremely naked. This morning I decided when I put the spoon in to stir it, to actually just ram it in the cup at a million miles an hour. Out came what my imagination can only describe as 100 gallons of boiling hot (and we're talking fresh out the kettle) water flew out.
I could swear time stopped for a second as i watched this water fly from the cup, through the air and hit the ridge of my nob end (that’s where the head meets the shaft for anyone wondering) I danced around writhing in pain for a good couple of minutes but in the end all was well. And no serious injuries were sustained.
TLDR: boiling hot water splashed out of cup, onto dick ouch burn pain
Edit: thanks for the concern, but my dick is fine lol
FunkyTown313: Wait, you make a single cup of tea for both you and your girlfriend to drink?
I find this story completely unbelievable.
WheelBite_: Yeah mate, global tea bag shortage can’t be out here drinking one each
| 3 | 23 | |
1659521968 | 1659559646 | t3_wf2vcv | t5_2to41 | 24 | Atlxel: TIFU by formating a phone and deleting important footage in it
So, just a fyi, I'm a type of person who acts on emotions first before thinking it through properly. It's a bad habit that I'm trying to shake off but it comes and bites my ass every so often.
So,Im interning at this production house and I'm halfway through my internship. The production house had a rule of backing up all files after filming.So far it has been alright and the company got a gig to make a new smartphone commercial. And in order to plan for the shoot, we were given commercial modes of the phone to test it out. Due to it being an android phone, most features and apps gotta be logged into with a Google account to function and I volunteered my own personal account as a temporary solution. I got the confirmation that no one was gonna snoop through my stuff like emails and social media from my boss so I thought all is fine. The filming went pass by with zero hiccups and some shots had to be done with the phone to show off it's camera.I assumed the phone was given back to the smartphone company after the shooting.
After the shoot, I asked by my boss to work from home due to my roommate getting covid and my bosses ain't risking me coming in. While at home, the other intern had his hands on the smartphone and accessed my personal stuff like my Instagram and Gmail. He even screenshoted it to me. I was shock and asked him to stop it,which he did. I,in the heat of the moment, thought in order to avoid it from happening,I just remotely log out of my phone through Google. It didn't work fully cause the intern then screenshotted my Insta to me after I asked him to. I then learnt you could remove all logins with the find my phone feature and erase all data. I, still not thinking it properly, decided I'll do that and all problems solved.
3 hours later and a phone call from my boss. He was asking why is the phone formatted and where did the footage go. I then told him there should be a backup and he said it wasnt made yet cause there was another shoot with the phone occuring later at night. After realising that,I told my boss that I nuked the phone cause my privacy but was scolded for not at least telling him before nuking it.
I was then told there was a meeting later with me,my superior and my boss regarding my future at the company.
TLDR: I formatted a smartphone used for filming with the footage still inside, thus in the process risking my internship.
UnadvertisedAndroid: Lean heavy on the fact that your coworker was snooping through your private things and fooling around with them which made you anxious about your privacy. That person deserves some of the blame, if not all of it. What they did was extremely unprofessional.
If your boss won't shift some blame, if not all, to them, he's an asshole you don't want to work for anyway.
Pepe_thelord: I second this.
| 3 | 8 | |
1659526392 | 1663184222 | t3_wf480i | t5_2to41 | 14,088 | FinnicKion: TIFU by having my father discover a personal toy.
Today I had one of the most embarrassing and possibly funniest interactions with my father. My parents are pretty laid back people and honestly I’m lucky just to have parents like them in the first place. So to set the mood, I just got off a night shift this morning at about 5:30ish. On top of this being a stressful week and long night I have also been abnormally horny (must have reached my breaking point) most likely due to the dry spell I’m in. This isn’t a normal dry spell though oh no this is California drought scale, to give you an example the last time I was with a woman was about 3 years ago.
So I decided to change things up a bit and just got a Fleshlight about a day ago because A: the hand wasn’t doing it anymore B: my buddy has one and says they are amazing and C: I have a better paying job ergo more disposable income. So back to the deed, I got home, put my stuff away, and started to get the urge, I closed my door and locked it just incase, unboxed my new Abella Danger special and lubed it up for blast off, by god it’s a toe curler and I recommend it for any man. After the deed had been done I got my stuff together both mentally because what I just experienced was beyond normal and physically I then went to shower to clean up after work and clean the fleshlight at the same time. Now I’m very tired and after my experience with the fleshlight and a hot shower I’m ready to go smoke a bowl and get to bed. In my groggy state I forgot the fleshlight in the shower which was the catalyst to a very embarrassing but hilarious talk with my father.
I’m still having a sesh but he initially texted me saying I left something upstairs which is when I realized that I had left my fleshlight in the shower. He didn’t read the side and didn’t know what it was so when he jumped in the shower he thought it may have been a new body wash and decided to open it and check it out. Well I run upstairs, into the bathroom grab it, and back to my room face red as hell. I get out and all he says is I should have at least been a gentleman and escort the poor lady to my room. I told him it’s been a while and he said he understands and if something is bothering me to just talk about it with him and added on a please don’t horrify your mother by letting her find it.
TLDR: I got off a night shift, decided to try out my new fleshlight, had a shower and left it in there by mistake, my father found it and we had a bit of a laugh.
Edit: This blew up a little lol, I just woke up and agree with pretty much all of your comments. I’ve been very lucky to have him as my father and an equally awesome mother. My father was very understanding with both my sister and I when we were young causing all sorts of hell. The biggest thing he stressed is to talk about our issues and not hold them in because in the end it isn’t worth it. He had us relatively young and wanted to make sure we didn’t do the same unless it was on purpose at which point you should have a plan together. He did a lot for us in our youth, dirt bike rides in the country, trips to Algonquin park, always at our sports games, handyman extraordinaire and a strong shoulder to cry on in those difficult times. I hope to be like him some day and to all those who don’t have parents like this or parents at all just remember that everything you have done in life is through your own hard work, determination, and wits, I hope you all have a wonderful life and can be amazing parents in the future if you so decide. Anyways thank you everyone, have a great day and remember to always be a gentleman.
PizzaSandwich2020: Funny shit dude, and hey! Your Dad is a true bro, you're lucky to have dude like that raising you.
_Typhoon_Delta_: I wish I had OP's dad...
giantsquid510: Wish I had a dad
107970Sage: wish i had
bigbossbaby31: I wish
JustTiagofcc: I
Biac0n: .
afswdffd:
| 9 | 1,565.333333 | |
1659527558 | 1659540027 | t3_wf4lvc | t5_2to41 | 1 | Tough-Membership-925: TIFU by destroying my friendship
So this TIFU is today, and it was pretty bad in my opinion.
I am generally a happy-go-lucky type of guy in my school and some things just don't bother me even though I know they are possibly dangerous.
Though, under the surface, I am quite a depressed, antisocial type of person in my household.
I have been frequently stealing a lot of small items from some of my classmates, and I would pocket them in my own house.
It's been pretty messed up, like I have enough things to survive, but the jealousy inside me just overrides and takes them.
So today I was going about my usual stuff, and during my lunch break, pocketed some money from one of my good friends. I thought they didn't notice, but they did notice their money was gone, and immediately suspected me. I eventually confessed and gave it back.
He has not talked to me in about a week, and I'm starting to worry I ruined a friendship that could last a lifetime. I feel like I shouldn't have done that, but my mind is just saying "I don't care, it's completely fine without him" even though he is normally my supporting pillar.
I don't know what else to do. How can I get him back?
TL;DR : Friend left me for some other people, for stealing some money from him. I fucked up badly, but I want to apologize.
be-incredible: Reread your own post - you’re rationalizing being a pretty despicable person…
Yeah, you fucked up - it’s completely on you, you need to stop rationalizing it.
Tough-Membership-925: I know, but I'm trying to make it up here, it's the first for me
be-incredible: You shouldn’t be trying to make it up to anonymous people, you should be trying to make amends with your friends and work on becoming a person that they can trust. That’s the problem - they can’t trust you.
Tough-Membership-925: I'll try, how can I get people to trust me?
Anonymousman1524: Don’t steal. Idk why you’re leveling pickpocketing, this isn’t skyrim
Tough-Membership-925: It's hard to get rid of a habit yk
| 7 | 0.142857 | |
1659527846 | 1659698465 | t3_wf4p86 | t5_2to41 | 48 | fleaffy: TIFU my relationship with the girl of my dreams because of my anxiety and depression.
My SO of 2 years decided to break up with me because she is tired of my constant emotional meltdowns and that she is tired of constantly being on alert by which words she is using around me to not make me anxious. She was a perfect human for me. She always let me do whatever I want and go wherever I want(I was the same) we never ever had a fight with each other we always had a great time(atleast for me) I was and still am deeply in love with her. I didn't expect this breakup, I thought we were just going to talk about our usual problems(she never looks at her phone when she is outside and I get really anxious I feel like something bad is going to happen to her whenever I can't hear from her,her grandmother passed away a couple weeks ago which she loved very much).
Help, how do I cope with this? I don't want to breakup with her but I don't want to force her to a relationship.
TL;DR: My girlfriend broke up with me because she is too tired of my emotional meltdowns.
gundam2017: As someone with extreme anxiety, you have o get help. You'll never stop lashing out, getting overwhelmed, being cranky, until you get meds or therapy or both. I'm lucky my poor husband waited 6 years for me to find what worked. I hope you can do the same.
Remember this is the anxiety talking. Go to your PCM and start meds.
fleaffy: I was on meds, I stopped doing them because of her. She was always with me even if I had an anxiety attack because of her, she helped me get over it afterwards. I am really bad at talking about my feelings to my psychologist or even to my friends she was the only one I can talk to about them.
solstice_gilder: Yeah but that’s too much to lay on one person. Get professional help. You need to do this with you. Your girlfriend is not your caretaker. Sounds harsh but it’s the truth. You cope by working on yourself!!
fleaffy: I never wanted to lay it on her. I was always telling her to be open with me and tell if something was bothering her, she wanted me to quit taking meds as I mentioned she was worried about their side effects. I never saw her as a caretaker I was and still am just in love with her and want the best of her. My anxiety is severe and I really think and worry about anything even if there is no chance of it happening but I never ever thought of what would happen if I broke up with her or vice-versa, I never thought about it that's why it was so sudden for me.
solstice_gilder: alright but take responsibility.
| 6 | 8 | |
1659515671 | 1659530671 | t3_wf14lx | t5_2to41 | 69 | bemi_san: TIFU by forgetting to close the back door overnight.
Yesterday it was super warm and usually when it's hot I open the back door and a window in the living room, it gets a nice breeze rolling through and cools the house down, so I did.
I also have a 12 month old baby who has started crawling *a lot*. I had to go into the kitchen for something but she kept trying to follow me so I closed the door that leads into the kitchen while my husband watched her in the living room. When I came back, having opened the door to walk through it, I automatically closed it behind me. So the back door was open, and the kitchen door was closed.
I completely forgot the back door was open. Not just unlocked, but *wide open*. We went to bed.
Fast forward to this morning, my husband got up with the baby as he always does and took her downstairs for breakfast. I was woken by a lot of shouted swear words.
During the night what we assume to be a fox had found our open door, helped himself to the contents of our bin, discarded most of it onto the floor as well as a lot of whatever he'd eaten the night prior.
Lesson learned, always check the back door is closed.
TLDR; forgot the backdoor was open and was ransacked by a wild dickhead fox.
OkapiEli: I thought the baby had crawled out the open door. The fox is not the worst outcome here.
bemi_san: Definitely could have been worse.
| 3 | 23 | |
1659529122 | 1659529589 | t3_wf54q4 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Olb34: TIFU by getting beaten by a bat
First off, this is a mobile post so formatting will be nearly nonexistent and this fuck up happened 8 hours ago and has just resolved itself.
So some background, i M ( 20 ) and my girlfriend F ( 20 ) have recently moved into our first apartment together and it is a bit run down to say the least. We've repainted and fixed some things with approval but nothing crazy like dry wall for instance. Some of the issues that are out of our scope are the watter damaged cabinets and holes around the emergency exit and chimney ( foreshadowing ). These are being worked on but the local contractor is less than reliable.
Now to 10 minutes before the worst night yet in this apartment. I am taking a wonderful before sleep sit on the throne at about 1:30 AM. When my girlfriend screams that a bat has flown through the hall. I believe this to be a joke and continue with my business until she runs in to cut a loaf short. To my dismay she wasnt joking a bat is running rampant and she looks to me the clueless shitter for guidance. So i dump out our clothes hamper and chase it, not the right move hes now pissed.
We pause and to strategically google what to do and realize he has no real means of escape. So we open all the windows and try to encourage him to please exit stage left. But he decided that he was pooped after being chased with a hamper and plops down in a corner.
Now i am not afraid to confront animals and i have a healthy respect for the danger and intelligence of them. So i wanted to remove him safely and relocate him. So it seemed like a towel would be fine to set over him and scoop him up. Well he was not about it and he crawled at the speed of light and i screamed like a newborn kitten. Grabbed my pants as i had been running around in boxers and ran out the door to where my girlfriend was hiding.
So now we have windows open bat crawling around and me and my girlfriend in the stairwell. Im putting my pants on so the neighbors dont think im any weirder than a girl screaming about a sky puppy to please get in the basket. I then realized the only thing in my pants is my phone and the doors locked. The bat however is smacking off my furniture as we can hear him through the door.
Luckily my neighbors down stairs are my sister and brother in law. They should have a spare, nope. Maybe some tools or a ladder, nada. We have paper clips and a dream, so we get to work youtubing how to pick a lock. 2 hours pass no hope, we call every locksmith , our land lord , our parents. Everyone is asleep at 3:30 AM and we live in the middle of nowhere so a locksmith is out of range. The lockipicking is getting no where this ancient dead bolt is too touch for our rainbow paperclips.
Out of juice we run to the gas station for drinks when i get the idea to remove the plastic ends of the arms of a pair of cheap sunglasses. ( i believe lockpicking lawyers did this and gave me the idea ) long story short 4 hours pass and this while better didnt prove successful. Finally my girlfriends step dad picks up the phone gets us an extension ladder and we crawl in the second story window. Just in time to be late for work, defeated as i had already called in and had 10 minutes to get dressed. I am writing this to you as i am now 1 occurrence closer to being fired, all because a bat had bested me. He intimated me , ran me out of my home, claimed it as his own , and cost me a days wage and a step closer to being fired. All because of some holes in the roof that were promised to be fixed weeks ago.
TL;DR : New apartment has some issues, namely holes in the roof around the chimney. I am cut short on the toilet because a bat jump scared my girlfriend. I bravely rush to protect her by using a basket to capture the bat. That failed he takes a break in the corner, i see this as a time to scoop him up in a towel. He crawls out from it at mach jesus, i clad in boxers grab my pants and run out slamming the door behind me locking myself out with just pants, shirt, slippers, and phone. Downstairs neighbors and siblings bring paper clips that fail as lock picks. A trip to the gas station provides cheap sunglasses to be broken into better lock picks. Still fails , we call everyone to get some help. None comes until jours later lock picking till my girlfriends step dad brings a ladder over and we get in the second story window. Having already called in to work i write this story in defeat warning you of the power of bats.
DancingShadowLight: If you open a window bats will generally find their way out they don’t like being trapped inside anymore than you want them in your home
Olb34: Yeah, that hindsight came in shortly after the initial rush. But by then he sat on the ground and i thought a cover and scoop would work. The more you know, he was very cute but when hes flying all around sound judgment is hard haha.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1659530380 | 1659559402 | t3_wf5ke6 | t5_2to41 | 37 | sonic521: TIFU by not being more specific with my mum
i got my period yesterday and messaged my mum while she was at work to get me pads, she came back home later and told me she forgot and would get it later, i messaged her again to remind her to get me pads, she came back home later that night and told me she’d get it tomorrow because she forgot.
so i was basically just sitting in my blood for the entire day, there wasn’t any toilet paper anywhere either because we had just run out that day and my mum also forgot to get more. (she really forgetful sometimes and she’s always out for majority of the day, so i guess she didn’t really remember about it)
she finally said she’d get me it this morning. when she came back home she told me it was in the car and to go grab it, but when i looked in the car it wasn’t there. i went back to her and told her it wasn’t there, she went to grab it for me from the car and came back and told me she doesn’t know how i missed it because it was on the seat. she handed me a note pad!!! i remember seeing a bright red note pad on the seat but didn’t think much of it.
earlier this year i would ask her to buy me lots of note pads because i needed it to study and write notes since i had exams coming up. english isn’t her first language so that probably played a part in the confusion also.
so i’m probably going to have to just go to the store myself because i feel too embarrassed to tell her. it’s kinda funny but i also cried a little lol
TLDR; i asked my mum for pads because i was on my period, she misunderstood and bought me a notepad instead
Booskop89: May I ask how old you are because any age over 12 you should've just gone to the store and bought some yourself instead of "sitting in blood the entire day".
sonic521: i didn’t go to the store because the store closest to me which has period products is around half an hour away by walking, i didn’t want to have to walk in pain and discomfort, all while still bleeding, i have no money either. i was also under the assumption for the entire day that my mum was going to buy it for me, every time she said she forgot, i reminded her to get me it and she said she would, but when she came back home last night, i was too embarrassed to keep asking her.
when i mentioned at the end of my post that i was embarrassed and was instead going to go the store by myself, it was lighthearted and i wasn’t being serious, although i should’ve made that more clear in the post, that’s my fault. i said that because at the time i was mortified and didn’t want to have to speak to my mum about it again, i mean that’s the entire fuck up, me feeling too embarrassed and ashamed to voice my needs in a direct and understandable way.
i’m painfully aware of the fact that it’s gross and i should’ve done something about it, but i have learnt from it and i’m the one that had to deal with the consequences, the situation is all sorted now.
Booskop89: I did not read sarcasm in that statement indeed. Sorry if I came across harsh.
sonic521: ah don’t worry about it
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1659534452 | 1659536258 | t3_wf72qm | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by not muting my mic at work on teams.
[deleted]
ImAnActionBirb: A few years back, I was still new to WFH, and brand new to this new team after getting a great promotion. I knew how to mute myself, and thought I was on mute. A little tidbit about our meeting program at that time: your mic flashed red when you were talking.
I let rip three motorcycle farts. Like, I was impressed with myself. They tore through the air like the reverb at the rave when the beat drops. They vibrated the chair, desk, and me like your mom’s favorite dildo.
A few seconds later, I went to speak on the call, “un“muted myself… and realized I’d been unmuted the entire time. Good first impressions always last!
Wiggy_0000: Hey my dog keeps playing with a toy my mom gave her for Christmas (thanks for that mom btw) and it’s a pig that grunts but it sounds like farts apparently over the mic on calls. So when it’s my turn to talk I have to be really mindful because one of my coworkers thought I was just ripping some big ones while talking about updates.
| 3 | 7 | |
1659535798 | 1659561224 | t3_wf7m9h | t5_2to41 | 18 | Nervous-Push-8918: TIFU by wiping my butt too hard
(Well started almost a week ago, but still affects till today since didnt realize until 2 days ago why it continues, throwaway for obvious reasons)
So last thursday or friday I went to the bathroom after eating some very spicy food and well had to wipe quite hard to get everything clean. For some reason the next bathroom break felt the same --> again wiped very hard.
I started getting this burning/painful sensation that I still had something stuck there so each time I went to the bathroom, and sometimes little bit after that too, I wiped really hard (even digging a little bit) to get it all out. Wellp, asked my mom on monday (+checked my countrys online "self diagnosis site", both said it's from wiping too much and that should use a bidet and dampened toilet paper +not dig so deep).
I've now been doing that for few days and it no longer is sore all the time but itches now (which isn't fun, but i guess a sign that it's getting better), also interferes with my activities less now.
If I had known right away that wiping too much was the issue (and that even if it feels like some is left, u still dont need to dig deep to make it clean enough), it would have saved me a lot of headache.
TLDR: Wiped my butt too hard for multiple days, wiped more to try to ease it, wiping was the cause for the pain.
Slash_Raptor92: What exactly is a bidet? Does it replace a toilet or do you use in conjunction with a toilet?
Nervous-Push-8918: Water instead of paper to clean after using bathroom basically (for me, where i live every bathroom has a mini shower attached to the sink, which can be used as it)
djluminol: I had a friend/coworker who papercut his butthole at work because of the poor quality tp there. The cut got infected and made boil like puss blister near his butthole. Of course I only learn this a few weeks after the incident when disaster occurred. So one day about two weeks after he cut himself the blob pops while he helping a customer and he's got ass puss dripping down his leg while trying to make a sandwich. In the end it turned out ok because his butt puss healed alright and now you know it could have been worse.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1659538555 | 1659539205 | t3_wf8prd | t5_2to41 | 17 | Objective-Estimate92: TIFU by putting Vicks Vapor Rub in my hair
TIFU real bad. Last night I noticed my son (4)really scratching his head, so I pull out my phone flashlight and look at his head and yep. Lice. Okay no problem. I can’t run to to the store it’s too late and I don’t have the car. No worries, still gonna wash his hair, used dish soap to really just clean everything. Pulled the stuff of his hair, and then my head started to itch.
It’s worth noting here that I love my hair. It’s a short curly black mullet. Sounds dumb but it has taken me a long time to find a hairstyle that feels comfortable for me. And even though my boyfriend checked me and I was clear, I just grabbed the Vicks , went “this is like petroleum jelly” and slicked that shit on my hair. Like down to the root. Then I made sure all the clothes toys and bedding he had touched was in the washer and put clean sheets on his bed.
By the time I got the kids cleaned and in bed, I’m exhausted forget what’s in my hair and pass out for the night. Now it’s morning and y’all I’m fucked. I washed with dish soap like it said online and very little came out. My hair oily to the touch, this and faintly smells of Vicks. So I’ll probably be getting a haircut. Yay.
EDIT: 4 washes later and it seems like head and shoulders+ vinegar is working, but I’ll probably have to do 2 or 3 more, but hey I don’t have to cut the mullet!!
TL;DR I panicked at lice and now have Vicks vapor rub stuck in my hair.
BeetleGoose17: Hi! Before you give up I would try a few things. Do you have any baking soda/cornstarch? Try sprinkling some in and seeing if the grit can get some of the petrolatum from the Vicks out. Once you get excess out go ahead and coat the hair in it. Then wash with dawn soap!
BeetleGoose17: Petroleum/latum isn't water soluble which is why you're having a hard time getting it out. Also make sure you condition well afterwards as this process can be drying?
Objective-Estimate92: Thank you for the advice! I’m about to go try the baking soda, and see if it that helps get it out. Right now I’m just combing with a fine tooth comb, trying to get some out
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1659541661 | 1659545073 | t3_wfa0av | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by finding out my favorite adult actress is a twitch streamer
[deleted]
DrSmurfalicious: >I just want to talk to someone I admired in a way for s long time.
You sound a bit too attached to her. And on the verge of some sort of entitlement, like she owes you a conversation. I don't think that's what you meant, just, you know, be careful so you don't slip in to that line of thinking. And regarding her previous career - let it go, son, let it go.
JustHere2RuinUrDay:
>You sound a bit too attached to her
Yuuup
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/wfa2qv/i_struggle_with_parasocial_relationships_and_i/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/wfa5ep/i_struggle_with_parasocial_relationships_and_i/
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/wfa7nr/wibta_for_bringing_up_a_persons_sexual_past_in_a/
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/wfa1vo/i_think_im_struggling_with_my_feelings_for_an/
FineMetalz: Seriously u/Sashaturnup, what's the point of creating a new account and spamming the same post 5 times? She's moved on and has a new job. If you can't process this, please talk to a therapist or call a mental health hotline
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1659546897 | 1659568258 | t3_wfc90q | t5_2to41 | 1,138 | PM_ME_UR_HIP_DIMPLES: TIFU by making my girlfriend think my stomach was too sensitive for their West African food.
This is from this morning and many others this week. My gf is from Barbados and her family is Ghanaian going back. I’ve eaten African food, Ethiopian and South African Braai, Moroccan couscous, etc. but I was excited to get into some west African food.
So she’s been straight up calling her grandma in Barbados getting Ghanaian recipe advice and making amazing dinners for weeks. She’s teased me for not being able to handle spicy food (even though by my friends standards I eat really spicy stuff) with my sensitive palate so I’ve challenged to her to kick it up.
Not to give too much detail but I poo on an incredibly precise schedule every morning about an hour after coffee. She knows this because she kisses me goodbye before she goes to work when I come out.
Fast forward to a few months of dating and she looks bothered by something today. We have the NRE running strong and haven’t fought or anything yet, and even though we don’t live together we’ve seen each other 99% of mornings. Anyway, conversation went like this.
Me: “is everything okay?”
GF: “yeah, it’s nothing” <—— (because of course she says that)
I can see that’s not true so I press a little
Me: “you can tell me, you can feel comfortable telling me anything. Did I do something wrong?”
GF: “if my Ghanaian cooking is making you sick you can just tell me!”
Visibly emotional because of the effort and vulnerability of showing me part of her childhood
Me: “why do you think it’s making me sick?”
GF: ”you have tears in your eyes every day!”
What she doesn’t know if that I’ve been masochistically watching tearjerker videos and reading moving stuff every time I’m on the toilet (“moving” no pun intended). Like the algorithm for everything thinks I’m a menopausal spinster or something. Jenny Jinya comics, crying dads over good news, kids fighting cancer and stuff. So I well up with tears every time and appreciate things in my life more.
TL;DR my girlfriend thought her spicy food was making me poopsick everyday because of my teary mooring eyes when really I was welling up over cats and surprising parents with cars and stuff.
I explained and we had a good laugh. I thought it was sweet that she thought I would poop my pants until I was in tears everyday I’m order to spare her feelings.
Ghanaian food is really good btw
Ehzabeth: Lmao this kills me because my husband shits on a schedule too and I used to think he just hated hanging out with me every morning on the weekends. Nope, that’s just his hour of bathroom time hahaha
killingtime1: Wtf an hour on the toilet???
aroundmedianoche: thats a solid way to get hemorhoids
Reddithias: how does extended bathroom time cause hemorhoids?
aroundmedianoche: Hemorrhoids can develop from increased pressure in the lower rectum due to: Straining during bowel movements. Sitting for long periods of time on the toilet.
do0tz: 50 minutes are spent on Reddit, 5 minutes spent playing the daily solitaire challenge. The other 5 are pooping.
Apprehensive_Pug6844: #r/oddlyspecific
do0tz: 🤷♂️
| 9 | 126.444444 | |
1659548531 | 1659583629 | t3_wfcye2 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Upbeat-Search2194: TIFU for being horny
Yep throwaway, so basically I have been super horny lately and I decided to get on grindr and try to meet someone, I found this person without a pic and they messages me like a bunch of people as well so I was answering and things got steamy and they had some girls nudes so they kept me going, I was sleepy and horny and she asked for a dick pic and I like an idiot thought that would be a good idea so I sent it, and now they are trying to track me down on insta and blackmail me, my insta account is brand new but I have like 3 followers should I just delete that account or any tips in general, I don't think they know much more about me other than my face and my dick I guess...
Idk I'm supper worried anything helps
TLDR: I sent a dick pick to some scammer thinking it was a hot chick and now I'm possibly being blackmailed
Edit: already deleted the account and all the friends I'm not sure how they found the account even but im just on edge in case they do it again and the people I had there one of them was my cousin so ya know, no one wants to send a dick pic to their cousin unless they are in Alabama... (Also fixed mistakes)
DarkAthena: I didn't know there were girls on Grindr. Ya learn something new every day.
glutenous_rex: Cis females are definitely not the target audience of the app, but they pop up now and again... Generally just trawling for dick pics.
Dependent_Ad_5035: OP was looking for trans women and cross dressers not cis women
glutenous_rex: I'll let OP clarify that, but yi stand by my comment about cis women on Grindr regardless.
Dependent_Ad_5035: He did. He said he was looking for “trans/sissies”
glutenous_rex: Yeah it wasn't showing all comments when I went to respond. All the same, comment still valid.
If it makes you feel better though, you're right.
Edit: typo
| 7 | 2.142857 | |
1659549928 | 1659578235 | t3_wfdjx2 | t5_2to41 | 1,888 | tossit1213: TIFU (twice) by being a lazy neckbearded slob
Obligatory, this happened within the last 20hrs.
I'm alone for a bit, family is all on vacation elsewhere, so it's just me at home. I was working from home, on a teams call. I've had to piss for 25 minutes already, but my headset doesn't stay connected as far as the washroom, so I can't go. The meeting drags on and on, and my eyes turn more and more yellow.
Finally, I can't take it anymore. I stand up from my desk, grab an empty pure leaf iced tea bottle and piss onto it. I double and triple checked I was on mute, the camera was off, and I was out of camera view as well. First fuckup was my dick fell out of the bottle, mid stream. Like an unkept firehose, I pissed ALL over the floor, over a bookcase, all over the wall. My header fell off and I pissed on my headset. Fuck. I grab some paper towel and Lysol wipes and clean up. A few hours later, after finishing work, I put the bottle on my kitchen counter (it's where we put our recyclables until someone goes into the garage to throw them in the bin) and head out for the evening.
I return home a few hours later and smoke a bowl in the garage, getting ready for bed/downtime. I pop into the kitchen to tidy (I get a lot of cleaning energy when stoned), and clean the dishes, put my shit away. I see the bottle of pure leaf on the counter and it's half full. Instinctively, I down the bottle. I down a mouthful and immediately spit it out, all over the clean dishes, the counter, the window, the sink, fucking everywhere, AGAIN. I ran to the afore mentioned bathroom, gargle water, and brushed my teeth. Then, I cleaned the kitchen top to bottom, rewashed all the dishes, the floor, the cupboards, the fridge, fucking everywhere. It took me 45 minutes to be satisfied I had it all cleaned up.
Moral of the story, don't be a lazy neckbearded asshole. Go to the fucking washroom.
TL; DR:. I pulled a Bear Grylls and drank my own piss.
Prinz_: Where do you work that you can't just say "BRB" in the teams chat and quickly go to the restroom? Wtf
tossit1213: It was important to be listening on this one. I normally do just say brb. This one though if I interrupted everyone would have paused. I was dumb.
No-Nrg: You said you turned your camera off and were on mute when you pissed in the bottle. How would anyone have known if you walked away to the bathroom for 45 seconds?
GeraldBWilsonJr: Don't be mean. OP has clearly suffered a severe case of stage 11 derp brain. His brain has thoroughly become derp.
tossit1213: Yarp
GeraldBWilsonJr: That shit happens sometimes, I don't know what to tell you
tossit1213: Way she goes
methodangel: Pro-tip, use voice to text transcription like Otter.AI in your phone, hit the bathroom, and then you can read exactly what went on when you stepped away.
| 9 | 209.777778 | |
1659550943 | 1659612532 | t3_wfdz2f | t5_2to41 | 18 | Puzzleheaded_Line944: Tifu by nutting in a girl on her period
I’ve been in contact with my ex recently after we broke up a few years ago. we’ve mainly been hanging out mainly smoking and talking while listening to music and after driving around and smoking fat we eventually decided to explore a forest nearby it wasn’t anything special but she came on to me out there constantly holding my hand completely stopping n just hugging my tight, grabbing on me etc. so we go back to the car However during makeout or whatever I couldn’t get “it” up idk if it was all the weed mixed with the fact that while I was horny my dick ain’t wanna be anywhere near her but I figured once clothes came off I’d shoot up but nah 😭 I was still on soft and I didn’t wanna make her feel bad so I jerked it a little too much n pre-came in her as soon as I got it hardish enough to try putting it in… That ain’t ever happen before n idk what to do oh n to make it worse on the way back home we got pulled over by the cops for “speeding” and she said she was on her period
TL;DR we explored tried fucking n got pulled over jus read it it’s not that long
Edit: I ain’t from the suburbs I’m sorry my school’s ain’t have good teachers like y’all’s do so if yA lL gOT a ProBlem wIt Bad pUnctuAtioN tHEn FUcK YOU N sUcK mY SoFt DiCk!😊
nothingbutmistakes: Boy, for a whole story about a period, it was severely lacking an awful lot of them.
OkVolume1: I question why it was written.
| 3 | 6 | |
1659551746 | 1659573718 | t3_wfeba8 | t5_2to41 | 10 | Shootthemoon4: TIFU By being the creep coming to someone’s workplace
I would like to say that this thing that I did was something that happened actually many years ago, but I never told the story until now. What’s frightening is I did not know I was being a creep, I thought I was trying to check on somebody to see if they’re OK.
On a gay dating app back in 2014, I had met this guy and we hit it off online and we were preparing to meet up he even told me his work place that I can pick him up from. On the day of that we were supposed to meet his profile disappeared and I didn’t know what happened, I didn’t realize that he had blocked me. So me being a genius on trying to figure out what happened I went to his workplace and asked about him and the people that were working there went to go fetch them but they came back and said that he’s busy.
I thought OK then I guess he’s OK I just wanna talk to him and I waited in my car outside of the parking lot waiting for them to close so that I could talk to him. I saw him but he was escorted by somebody to their car and they drove away and I was left in a dark parking lot wondering what the hell happened. Why was I being treated this way? I never came back after that but sometime had passed before I realized that I was being a creep!
I feel like I have to actively tell myself that way I did was wrong, because part of me feels justified doing that. In my head I think why would someone tell me information like work and name and tell me that they want to meet up and they do this? Why didn’t they just say that they were not interested? Why didn’t they just block me at the first chance? Ever since that day I didn’t do anything like that ever again, I just eat the loss and move on but it still hurts just the same trying to understand.
But even with my feelings on it, I have to keep a clear head and do the right thing for others by not doing something as stupid as what I did making somebody feel like they were in danger.
TL;DR- I realized that I was the creep going to somebody’s workplace after being unknowingly blocked after arranging a time to meet up to figure out what’s going on.
lecherro: I don't think you were being a creepy creaky person. If the guy told you to pick him up there, then that's what you thought he wanted. What it sounds like to me,is that this guy as in the closet. He a going to go thru with the date, and at the last minute decided to ghost you instead. Maybe he wasn't ready to be in the open. Now is you'd kept going back to the office until you were able to talk to him... That might have been a bit stalkerish. But it didn't sound like that is this case. It signs like he just couldn't go for it for some reason. People are strange that way. This s not your bad.
Shootthemoon4: Thank you I’m glad that I didn’t go back it has taught me a lesson on how to present myself, but I do know that if somebody likes out like me despite giving confirmation to come and meet somebody I generally don’t, not unless they reach out to me confirming that they are going to be there.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1659555030 | 1659619747 | t3_wffoo6 | t5_2to41 | 12,562 | stole_ur_sweetroll: TIFU by cooking a pepper I bought at an amish farm.
This happened yesterday evening preparing dinner at home.
Taco Tuesday is a celebrated holiday in our home, this year we bought a variety of pepper plant starts from a local amish farm intending to try some new flavors.
I went to the garden and plucked a smaller Jalapeño and one bright red pepper i had not yet identified.
Now I new this mystery pepper was at least as hot as a Jalapeño because of the smell when I cut the top off. I decided to go easy and only diced two thin slices of the pepper.
So when my oiled pan has heated up enough I tossed in the cut onions and peppers and began to swirl the pan to heat them together as usual. Suddenly I was aware of an extremely dry cough forming in my throat, and I turned away from the stove and cupped my hands over my mouth and nose out of instinct...
The dry cough wouldn't let up though and I was becoming more and more aware that the pores on, and around my nose and mouth were burning. I stepped outside the kitchen and heard my girlfriend coughing the same way I was in her office which is located on the other side of our house.
I realized I had basically made pepper spray and fumigated the whole house with it in only a few minutes. I rushed her, our daughter, and both dogs outside.
With tears streaming down my glowing red face, nose running, just looking a complete mess i stumbled back out to the garden to look for a name tag on the red menace i had unleashed on our home.
[Caribbean Red Hot...](http://chili-plant.com/chilli-varieties/caribbean-red-habanero/)
300,000-450,000 Scoville heat units. For comparison, jalapeños rank between 2500-8000.
I spent the next hour with a milk soaked rag on my face until the burning stopped, at least I never touched my eyes.
TLDR - cooked a random pepper I got from amish folk, fumigated my whole house and family with fresh made potent pepper spray.
NickTheNack: See that Ezekiel, now he knows what hell will be like
Queequegs_Harpoon: 🎶 A local man stole my pepper plant last week
I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
Now he knows what it feels like to be burning in hell 🎶
Zogamizer: But I ain’t never punched a tourist, even if he deserved it
An Amish with a ‘tude - you know that’s unheard of.
PoliteCanadian2: I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat,
And my homies agree I really look good in black.....fool
Malaeveolent_Bunny: If you come to visit you'll be bored to tears
We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years!
Terminator7786: But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
We're just technologically impaired
LordDVanity: There’s no lights, no phones, no motorcars, not a single luxury
bernerbits: Like Robinson Cuh-rusoe it's as primitive as can be
LordDVanity: We been spending most of our lives,
Living in an Amish Paradise
funnystuffmakesmelol: It's hard work and sacrifice living in an Amish paradise!
LordDVanity: How did you mess up. That’s the first chorus, not the second one. You let us down
funnystuffmakesmelol: I'm drunk.
bernerbits: Rumspringa?
funnystuffmakesmelol: Nah kronenberg lol
| 15 | 837.466667 | |
1659555426 | 1659585269 | t3_wffuoq | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by offering fwb setup to a close friend... while I'm in a relationship..
[deleted]
Agret_Brisignr: Go fix yourself and do better, that's all you can do. You already apologized, leave it all alone and go improve yourself
Boj-Act-254: Thanks mate
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1659555725 | 1659557391 | t3_wffz3g | t5_2to41 | 16 | CPN_toast: TIFU by bumping into my Xbox with a game still inside
This won’t be as interesting as some posts here but this ruined my day.
So I’m currently in quarantine in my basement( I live w/ my parents) and I found an old Xbox that had a bunch of old games. One of them is skate 3 and I was going ham. I got bored of playing for 2 days strait so I attempted to change the game to COD black ops 2 and I bumped into the Xbox enough to move it, and I heard the sound of the disk slipping out of place. I frantically open the disk holder thing and low and behold my disk is half way in the Xbox. I take it out thinking nothings wrong and put in COD. Later I get bored( after getting destroyed) and try to put skate back in. And I read the disk is unreadable so I take it out and see some fingerprints and wipe it down pop it back in and it happens again that’s when I knew I made a big f up. What do I do now Reddit?
TL;DR I bumped into my Xbox 360 and now my game doesn’t work. Anyone know how to fix?
Classy_Pegasus: You'll probably have to get the disc resurfaced (if that makes it work at all). Typically when that happens, it leaves a pretty bad ring of a scratch. If it being resurfaced still leaves it unreadable, you may have to replace it. Skate 3 is pretty cheap now at least.
CPN_toast: I’ll probably have to buy a new game because it’s a load of scratches
Classy_Pegasus: Yeah, that really messes up games bad. Years ago I stupidly decided to move my xbox while it had a game in, heard that awful grinding and just immediately thought "well that disc is fucked". And sure enough, it was. Luckily I had 2 copies of it for whatever reason. At least you also learned something with your mistake😅
CPN_toast: The thing is my brother did the same thing with my Minecraft disk a couple months back and these where both mistakes. Oh well hope I can find one as cheap I as got this one
Classy_Pegasus: Ah well... Accidents happen! Haha
I just googled "skate 3 xbox 360" and everything that came up was super cheap. $6 plus $5 shipping (US price) was the cheapest that showed up without really digging around. I'm sure you'll find one no problem. Best of luck to you😊
CPN_toast: Thanks for the tips
| 7 | 2.285714 | |
1659557120 | 1659581757 | t3_wfgk4a | t5_2to41 | 41 | Kind-Ad-3336: TIFU by thinking i am the only one in the house.
[removed]
TempestHerox: Holy shit, two heads were exposed that day
gregorio_20: Bald heads.
| 3 | 13.666667 |
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