start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1659915890 | 1659916301 | t3_witpi2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | abysmaldepression: TIFU by turning left instead of right while going back home from school
For a little bit of context, I had just started school at a completely new school in an area of my town I knew nothing about.
I (at the time 12F) was supposed to be walking home after school because my mom couldn't drive me home. She told me very clearly to follow the people walking and I should arrive at a bridge that goes over the highway.
School finished, so I walked out and observed where people were turning. I soon realized more people were turning left so I followed them. I was very un athletic, and I had been walking in a straight line for a mile and there was no sign of a bridge or a highway. I still continued hoping maybe it was further from what i was expecting.
I finally saw stores and I then realized I was in a whole ass other city. I then saw the river I live next to, so I simply decided to follow the river. I should've just gone back.
I walked 4 miles in a straight line with shoes that had a plastic piece poking into my foot. When I came home, I was drenched in sweat and I couldn't walk.
TL;DR: I followed the wrong group of people while walking back home and ended up in a whole other city. I finally made it back home but I walked 5 miles as an unathletic kid with broken shoes.
AcrobaticSource3: Did you make friends with this new group of people? It would be all worth it
abysmaldepression: No hahaha I was very shy, plus I changed schools a month after (not because of this incident)
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1659915344 | 1660007542 | t3_witihh | t5_2to41 | 4 | Runnergirl868: TIFU by picking a wrong restaurant.
Well this put a damp on my fiancé. We took my kids to an indoor water park about 30-40 minutes away. Everyone had a ton of fun with the first time with me and my kids. He was there a while ago and he said things changed I offered to grab lunch/dinner afterwards. I picked chik-fil-a. He looked up their hours/menu and he said "ugh babe do you know what day it is today?" (It's technically my sister's birthday today but she's super sick and it's the 7th) I said all of those and he said "THE DAY!" my dense head forgettable ass thought it was a Saturday today. Well...burger King for us then. Kids were mad and i knew they needed a snack before dinner with their dad and his girlfriend because they never listened to me for snack at the concessions at the water park.
I've just been craving CFA forever since last year since I had it the first time. I want it sooo bad...and we never go out that way anyway. I understand why they close on Sundays. It really put a fire out in my soul.
TLDR: I picked chic-fil-a for eats and they close on Sunday (today)
AcrobaticSource3: I like the chicken biscuit sandwich for breakfast
Runnergirl868: Can't even get it for breakfast. We done have one in town and it's about a half n hour from me :( also first shift life
AcrobaticSource3: Oh, first shift is rough! I could never handle it. I respect you, friend!
Runnergirl868: At least I could have macdons for breakfast before I go in to my factory job. Macdons half off for me because I work there too because of my flexible schedule.
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1659913749 | 1660110493 | t3_wisxls | t5_2to41 | 77 | doublehelices: TIFU by snacking recklessly
Was having a lovely time playing D&D online, listening to drama. I went to grab a snack—some delicious mini pitas that I buy quite often for eating alone or with a dip. And I sit down, engrossed in the lore reveals, and pop one into my mouth. Bite down.
When I tell you a PUFF of white dust burst out of my mouth, and I didn’t IMMEDIATELY spit it out, dear reader, you may be shocked. Or maybe when you hear I bit down a second time, to the same result. Then I realized the taste was bland. Dusty, wrong.
I looked down at the bag of pitas.
It’s the middle of a hot humid summer. These little bundles of carbohydrates were nearly entirely green with mold. With my friends unaware of my suffering on the other end of the line, I realized I had rolled a natural one on hygiene, perception, and self preservation, and pulled the half-chewed pita out of my mouth.
Very green.
So I spit everything out, tossed everything in the trash, washed my mouth out with water, then mouthwash, then brushed my teeth. I can still feel the dust of mold spores at the back of my throat. I’m in hell.
No regrets. Just want some more carbs.
TL;DR I let my love of pita and investment in hot hot D&D lore distract me from seeing the mold before my very eyes.
cynicalchicken1007: What did the mold taste like? I’m curious
doublehelices: Dust? Kind of bland, like if you took a musty room and dried it out to sprinkle on your food.
| 3 | 25.666667 | |
1659915575 | 1659931290 | t3_witlfb | t5_2to41 | 414 | TheLegendaryMond: TIFU by accidentally teaching my dog to stand on the counter
About a month ago we were moving out of our house. With the kitchen empty and a dog with a history of being able to jump high I thought it would be interesting to see if he could make it up on the counter. I knew he could, I don’t know why I wanted to test it out, but me and my cousin regardless encouraged him to jump up and he did. It was impressive, and I thought nothing of it considering we were moving out anyway.
Well, now we are at a different house. I hadn’t considered my dog learning that one kitchen counter equaled this one, and that since he was allowed on the other one, this new one can’t be any different, right?
Needless to say, the rest of the family had been very confused on this new habit of our dog and I can’t help but feel like I’m the one getting scolded whenever he does.
TL;DR I had my dog jump up on the kitchen counter to see if he could, and now he won’t stop.
moepoofles: We wouldn't mind photos.
TheLegendaryMond: If I catch him doing it again I’ll try and take one 👍
Dense_Vermicelli_929: Yeah. You messed up big time. Pets see you give them praise once for doing something and forever think it is ok. Tape bubble wrap on top of where your dog jumps up or anywhere you don't want your pup (or cat) to go on top of. It usually takes a few times but they usually get the idea. The bigger you pet the larger the bubbles on the wrap. Bigger bubbles on the wrap pop and make noise easier than the tiny bubbles. Good luck!
TheLegendaryMond: This is a good idea! Thank you!
Dense_Vermicelli_929: I hope it works for you and your pupper! It wirked for our dogs and Rambo-cat. Please don't be make sure nobody is mad at your dog for what you taught him/her. And we would all love to see a pic of your pup please!?!?
TheLegendaryMond: Never used imgur before so hopefully this works! The kitchen counter menace is the brown one https://imgur.com/a/iruiyYE
Dense_Vermicelli_929: I am guessing it is the beautiful staffie (pit bull mix?) That is the jumper? If so tie a thick rope over the lower branches of a tree and tie a bunch of knots in it. Ur baby will jump up and catch a knot and spin for hours! Tysm for the pic!! Both of your dog babies are Sooo cute!. We all have made errors in pet training, so don't be so hard on youself. Walmart sells the big bubble- bubble wrap. But use painters tape to hold it in place or it is gonna be a pain to remove the stickies. Good luck and best wishes!
TheLegendaryMond: Thank you again for the tips!
Dense_Vermicelli_929: So'k. You have some beautiful pups. But it looks like BOTH brreds are really energetic ones. Maybe you can find a dog park/obstical course for them near you. When they have run themselves out of energy they will probably just want to cuddle at home. Also look at (treat) activity toys. It will help if they have something to challenge them. Amazon and chewey have some pretty cheap. Good luck with your babies! Keep us up to date. ❤
| 10 | 41.4 | |
1659918886 | 1659995764 | t3_wiuqzx | t5_2to41 | 16 | AnonymousJellyflsh: TIFU by watching someone steal items from a store and I did nothing about it
I (f23) went to my local store, which is very small, to buy a few things and only planned on staying for 30 minutes then leaving. But half way through my shopping, I saw a woman who looked to be a teenager stealing baby products like baby formula and diapers. She stuffed them into her bag and started fast walking towards the door and leaving. I didn’t say anything and just looked the other direction. She left without getting stopped successfully and I felt bad for her, so I kept my mouth shut and didn’t tell employees. But when I was checking out, a few store workers stopped me and asked to check my bags. I knew they were going to look for the stolen baby products that I didn’t have so I let them go through it because they didn’t have cameras and were just making sure I wasn’t stealing.
When they were searching through my bag, they stopped and their eyes widened. I was confused on why, I didn’t think I had anything weird in there. But when they pulled out my orgasm intensifying pills I instantly turned red. I forgot those were in there and I was mortified. They just put the pills back, gave me my purse, and apologized. I dipped out of there after paying for my stuff and I am so embarrassed I don’t think I can ever go back to that damn store. I live in a small town and that is one of the few stores so I might find myself back at that store and I’m not ready to show my face there anytime soon…
TL;DR - I saw a woman stealing and didn’t say anything and the store employees searched me to make sure it wasn’t me stealing and found my orgasm pills. Lord help me.
spliffwizard: How did they know what they were? Even so it's not that big a deal you're all adults embrace it
andrewta: What is an orgasm pill?
one_eye_jack: Dolphin jelly?
Skaub: i hate this fucking site
| 5 | 3.2 | |
1659911330 | 1659947493 | t3_wis0qb | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by responding to a "friend" and set myself up for plans
[deleted]
avsavsavs: #1 this post does not sound like it is actually coming from an 11th grader… #2 regardless you should just suck it up and go #3 i predict you're not gonna and you'll feel shitty because you didn't. i hope u prove me wrong.
tip: take an edible beforehand (a chill vs stim variety)
DookieMajor: Lol. When in doubt, get high! Because that’ll always age well!
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1659919158 | 1659927098 | t3_wiuuel | t5_2to41 | 20 | Throwawayyyy_badgf: TIFU by not eating as soon as I woke up and having a seizure
This actually happened on Saturday, but I only just realised what truly happened today.
So for a bit of context, I'm in the early stages of pregnancy. I've never had much of an appetite, but since being pregnant I've found that I honestly can't get enough of food (which was one of the first markers that made me take a pregnancy test in the first place).
On Saturday morning, I got woken up at the lovely time of 5:30am due to my kitten knocking the tv off the stand (the joys of having kittens). My partner works full-time during the week, and I work nights during the week, so our weekends are really our only time together. We had a lovely day planned, with some shopping, washing, going for a walk and picking up a few baby things.
By 8:30, we were dressed and ready for the day. It's important to note I hadn't eaten anything yet, which I realise now was a HUGE mistake. We got to the first shop and I was feeling a bit out of it, but couldn't pinpoint exactly what was wrong. We got back to the car and I got hit with incredible amounts of pain in my lower stomach.
We decided to go through the McDonald's drive-thru to get me some food and chill for a bit before continuing with our nice Saturday. Well, as soon as we pulled up at the back of the line I got super hot and sweaty, felt like I was about to throw up my lungs, and began seeing spots. I asked my partner if we could just go home and he agreed.
That was the last thing I remembered.
I woke up feeling terrible, to my partner white in the face asking me if I was okay and what the fuck just happened. It didn't compute that I completely blacked out until he told me, and I realised we were no longer in the drive thru. Apparently, I blacked out for about 5 minutes and began uncontrollably shaking and almost foaming at the mouth.
We rushed to the hospital (with my head in a bucket and my eyes closed because everything was way too bright).
They ran every test possible, and after waiting for 7 hours.. EVERYTHING CAME BACK NORMAL!
They had no medical explanation as to why I was hit by intense pain that made me black out and have a seizure, until I saw my GP this morning for a check-up.
I've been seeing the same GP since I was a child, so she knows me very well at this point, including my sudden interest in any and all food. She asked me if I had eaten as soon as I woke up, I said no. She said my stomach was protesting and my body couldn't handle being without food immediately, so I completely shut down. It was made even worse because my body has been loving having all the extra energy from constant snacking for the past month, so when it got nothing, it decided to make my life a living hell.
So let this be a lesson, eat breakfast and don't be like me, or else it'll feel like you have the worst hangover of your life for 3 days.
TL;DR I didn't eat anything when I woke up, blacked out and had a seizure in the drive thru, spent my whole Saturday in the hospital, and then proceeded to be told it was because my body needed energy and hated me that morning.
merganzer: Wait, was it actually a seizure or just fainting due to hypoglycemia?
I passed out a couple of times during my first pregnancy from something similar--if I ever made the mistake of eating something sweet first thing in the morning, my sugar would spike and crash within a half hour.
Throwawayyyy_badgf: They confirmed at the hospital that it was a seizure, hence why they kept me so long. I've definitely learnt my lesson from this!
merganzer: Wow, that's scary! I hope the rest of your pregnancy is safe and uneventful.
Throwawayyyy_badgf: Thank you so much! It was honestly absolutely terrifying and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone
| 5 | 4 | |
1659920346 | 1660066124 | t3_wiv98o | t5_2to41 | 62 | touch_me_more: TIFU by finding out my brother likes men
Obligatory this happened yesterday, but it's only been 10hrs after so it still counts today.
So for context, my brother and I weren't that close, but we were never enemies either. Growing up he liked calling me gay and being homophobic to me. Everyone I talked to he would tell them I was gay and that I would spread the gay disease. He would hurl homophobic insults at me and make me feel guilty. Most importantly, he always called me gay and always tried to convince me I was gay, but I never was.
Last night I went out for a drink with my gay friends and they asked me to try out tinder to look for both men and women, since I'm pretty bi. So I installed it for the first time and since my brother's email was on my phone it auto logged into his tinder account. We never noticed it at first but then all the swipes were men and all the chats were pretty... sexual. We only found out it was my brother after I tried to sign in.
That's when the realization hit me that my brother might be gay. I went home and confronted my brother about it, about why he was on tinder with men. He got mad and started guilt tripping me about how this was my fault and I never should have done that.
At this point I have really mixed feelings. I don't hate him for being gay. I hate him for pining it all down on me for being gay. All the childhood memories of him being extremely homophobic towards me flooded in and I don't know what to feel. I'm not homophobic, I could never hate someone based on their sexual orientation. I just.... don't know what to know and what to think anymore and I just want to vent my mixed feelings here.
tl;dr : I found out my homophobic brother was on tinder with other men and we got into argument for me "snooping around"
toxicglowsticks: It’s pretty common that some homophobic individuals are gay themselves, and use homophobia as a cover up.
sdestruct1: Except the op wasn't gay at the time. So the brother wasn't being homophobic, just a bully.
Kinoesque: OP is bi not gay don't misgender them
kslusherplantman: That’s not gender FYI.
You may want to go back to the dictionary
Kinoesque: Not in my book
kslusherplantman: So you are now equating sexual orientation and gender?
Then you are an idiot
| 7 | 8.857143 | |
1659922479 | 1659923322 | t3_wivzsc | t5_2to41 | 21 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #44! Come share your stories and hang out! Get the popcorn! 🍿
ks1232314: That has to be aud cuz that would be an insane salary
Tattooedbehavior: Truckers get paidddd
ks1232314: Yea but not 105k a year usd
Tattooedbehavior: Yes, some do! You’d be surprised
rabbitt-we: It makes sense, it’s a high demanding job that not many people wanna do
Tattooedbehavior: Exactly, amazing point 👏
| 7 | 3 | |
1659922626 | 1660527304 | t3_wiw1ks | t5_2to41 | 9 | procrastinatium: TIFU by procrastinating on an 4000 word essay I should've started a year ago.
First of all, I know instead of writing this I could be working on my essay but I just can't. This started around December of last year, when winter vacations were about to start my school talked to us about a 4000 word essay we had to submit by the end of 2022 otherwise we would not be able to graduate. This essay can be about anything we want as long as it is related to one of our classes. I decided to write it on anything biology related because at that time it was the subject I was most passionate about, this was a BIG mistake because aside from having to write an essay you also had to do an experiment or use a database.
Anyways, I did not do anything over vacations because I was too busy studying for the SAT, but when we got to school we started having meetings with an assigned coordinator like one week every month to talk about our progress. Every meeting I would lie and make up something I had done over the last month. Eventually when I finally realized that I really should start working on my essay I realized I should not have picked biology as a subject because it is waaaaaay too much work and can't be written in one afternoon. I confessed to my teacher that I had not done any work and I wanted to change subjects, however he just screamed at me and told me I should have been more responsible. I had like one meeting after that but I did not show up to any. Eventually summer break started and I wanted to work on it but I did not know what to write about so I did nothing.
It has been 2 weeks since school started and tomorrow is the deadline for the first draft. If I don't turn it in by tomorrow I have to stay until 5 pm at school every day until I finish it. Also my parents believe I finished it so I have no excuse for leaving school at 5pm every day. Can anyone give me an interesting/sort of specific biology related thing I can write 4000 words on, or can anyone give me the link to a public database for ANYTHING biology related? I just need something I can write 4000 words on, as long as its an experiment example(I can fake all the data) or a database I can analyze. Thank you everyone.
TL;DR: I did not work on an 4000 word essay that we were told about last year and tomorrow is the 1st draft deadline. I have no idea what I can write about so I need your biology related ideas, hopefully with a database or experiment (i can fake all the data)
Valuable-Island3015: Drop out and take the ged test. That’s what I did lol.
cmatwil: Second this but go for the HSE if it’s available. No one cares for a diploma except high end colleges.
Valuable-Island3015: Ged is hse
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1659926437 | 1659955779 | t3_wixcl7 | t5_2to41 | 28 | bexbets: TIFU by oversharing with mechanic
TIFU oversharing with the mechanic
I am a 43 y/o female. I took my car in for new tires. I know the shop owner. I don't know him well. We were in a citizen's academy type class together a few years ago. We are Facebook friends. That's it. Never hung out. He has met my husband. This guy is our mechanic. My husband and the guy are both former Marines. They don't hang out either. Just our mechanic, business aquantince. Shop owner/mechanic, same guy, let's call him Pete. So Pete says to me, in the lobby while I am paying, 'how do you keep your husband in line?" To which I said I don't even try anymore. He's on his own. Pete says, "and yall are married?" I said yes. We don't share bedrooms (beds) but we are married. And Pete gets all offended and says that "what's the point of being married if you don't share a bed?" And I laughed and said oh, we have sex Pete. My husband and I have lots of sex. Pete then says "I don't want to hear about that." And I laugh on my way out the door and say oh yes you do!!!. I felt later like I should have stopped, should have just not gone that far. Let it go at the first question. But then again I feel like the whole conversation was unprofessional. Why ask me how I keep my husband in line when I pay for tires?
Tldr: I shared private information about my marriage with my mechanic but it's like he asked for it
cosmernaut420: I meeeeeeeean, why else was he complaining about not sharing a bed? Is there some other enjoyable activity couples do in bed together that I'm unaware of? He was absolutely talking about your sex life, that's on him.
Specialist_Fruit6600: some people enjoy spooning or just being close to your partner while you relax and read/watch tv…that’s why most couples share a large bed
cosmernaut420: I'm just saying, nobody is inquiring about your bed-sharing status because they think you aren't cuddling enough.
| 4 | 7 | |
1659926968 | 1659937109 | t3_wixisu | t5_2to41 | 10 | Thatalrightguy75: TIFU by doing a skunky rescue
Alright so rewind to my second year at community college. I was finishing up my night class, it was probably about 8:45 and I began the trek back to my car. As I’m walking back I see a fuzzy thing with something on its head. Thinking it was a cute kitty, I made my way towards the little guy. Well…it’s certainly not a cat, rather a skunk with a strawberry yoplait container on its head. Well, I’m actually thrilled to see the skunk, I love them and think they’re super cute! A few quick decisions and I decide this container is coming off. My heartbeat races as I make my way towards the little guy. He’s pawing and scratching and trying to get this thing off. I pin him down, tail and body and slowly and calmly speak “hey I’m going to take this off…don’t spray please!” So the container comes off, and I take a flying leap back…but…too late. That tail shot up so fast and the yellow oil flew at me so fast. It hit all my left side. It only took 2 seconds and the skunk waddling off before I was left choking, eyes watering and burning. The smell? ATROCIOUS! Imagine burning rubber, rotten eggs and a heavy musky base fermenting…the burning rubber was definitely off-putting but by far the strongest of the stench.
The feel as it hit? It burned so badly, like acid. I was actually concerned how much it did. But then I realized, holy shit I just got sprayed by a F*%*g skunk! Of course it’s gonna burn…and reek! As I continue the trek to my car, MUCH MUCH smellier than before I call my folks and notify them. Mom’s pissed but understanding; dad just laughs. It’s amazing how only 15 minutes in the car, all the windows rolled down and fans on full can make a car REEK OF SKUNK…
So when I got home, I did the hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and dawn dish soap remedy. Worked well, but not well enough to get a hug from my gf (at the time) I stunk, and nothing was gonna remedy THAT odor instantly. All in all? A very stinky week! But I’d do it again to rescue the little STINKER, who certainly lived up to his name.
TLDR: rescued a skunk with a yoplait container and was publicly shunned for the next week.
KatKat207: No good deed goes unpunished
Thatalrightguy75: Very PUnished…for sure
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1659929831 | 1659949054 | t3_wiyhc8 | t5_2to41 | 7 | bigtime_napper: TIFU by drinking too much and getting out of control
Context: my girlfriend asked me to join her and her friends for a night of drinks and clubbing, in order to get to know her friends better. We’ve been together a little over two years now.
We had drinks at a friend’s place, and I remember being alright then. However we reached the club, and I had a couple drinks again there but after that my memory just seems erased. All I remember is being fallen down near a store outside the club and puking while she tried to take care of me. And then all I remember is entering my bedroom and falling asleep.
The next morning she told me I just got extremely drunk and wasn’t able to handle myself at all, and was puking a lot. She said it was really hard for her to take care of me, and it was a really difficult situation as her friends weren’t around and random strangers were staring. A friendly couple helped her and got me some water and milk, and helped us into a cab. She says it was traumatising for her to see me like that, and experience whatever she did.
I usually don’t get drunk like that, and am usually able to maintain control. I guess it was just one of those nights. But now a lot of stuff seems messed up, and I feel absolutely horrible.
TL;DR - drank a lot, got really sick and unable to take care of myself, relationship now on the rocks.
Wolf-Legion-30k: Nit sure of your history with alcohol, but it usually takes about one hour for a drink to process, generally (unless they are heavy drinks with lots of alcohol) four drinks shouldn't be enough to get you to that state. All that said, I would be worried something was slipped into one of your drinks, especially with that level of memory haze. Hopefully your relationship isn't that rocky over this, as these things happen and hopefully things get sorted out. I just wanted to drop my two cents on this story.
TwoManyHorn2: Depends a lot on the strength. Like, some places a "drink" might be 3 servings of alcohol in a giant margarita glass...
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1659930388 | 1659935376 | t3_wiynvo | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a joke that went over REALLY badly
[deleted]
DesignerSmile_91: Ok but dating your sister is a really weird thing to joke about….
HonestSoldier7: I know --> the joke was my f***-up.
Funny thing is my therapist said the same exact thing you said, and ended the consultation shortly after lol
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1659931102 | 1659932973 | t3_wiyvzw | t5_2to41 | 11 | C4ptainchr0nic: TIFU by eating icecream and flashing my shitty ass to new roommate.
This one happened tonight. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up a couple hours ago at about 10:40. Had the post nap munchies and saw an empty icecream bowl from my girlfriend on the coffee table which spurred a craving. I made a bowl of choco mint ice cream with a fuck ton of chocolate sauce and peanut butter sauce against better judgement. Wrong move.
20 minutes later I started to bloat and feel funny, and within minutes I could feel everything inside me moving downward through my intestines like a locomotive. Spent the next 30 minutes stuck on the toilet with cold sweats and shaking, with a literal volcano of shit erupting out of my ass. I couldn't even make it to the upstairs bathroom, instead I'm stuck in the half bathroom on the middle floor.
At one point I started to panic so I slid the door open for a breeze and laid on the cool ceramic floor, after a few minutes of finally starting to feel like I wasn't dieing i failed to notice my new roommate come up from the basement to use the kitchen. This bathroom is right off the kitchen and she saw me laying face down with my pants still around my ankles, hugging the floor with my sweaty shitty ass cheeks shining up to greet her.
She looked away and started to ask if I was okay and if I needed her to grab my girlfriend , and I shamefully replied "no, I just ate some icecream" as I slid the door shut and died of embarrassment.
TLDR : Ate ice cream, flashed my shitty ass to new roommate.
TangerineDream82: Are you lactose intolerant?
C4ptainchr0nic: Not officially, but this does happen sometimes when I eat cream or ice cream. Cheese and yogurt is fine. I think it's because I was asleep and warm, then ate something sugary and cold maybe?
TangerineDream82: You might consider chewable lactose enzyme pills. I use them all the time - lifesavers.
I can now eat almost all dairy with the pill.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1659932309 | 1659947592 | t3_wiza1j | t5_2to41 | 31 | Kermitsleftballsack_: TIFU by masterbaiting in the attic
I 22(m) lives with my gf 21(f) in a average size house and one day while my gf was out of town to see her mother I decided to jerk it a bit after getting some McDonald’s I wanted to spice things up by going to jerk off somewhere I haven’t yet and I thought the best place to do it was in the attic (what a mistake that was) as I get up there I turn on the little light on the ceiling as I bring up my laptop and no had been in there since the move so there were many cobwebs as I open my laptop I start jerking it once I finished and close my laptop I see a giant spider and I screamed like a school running down but I was too late it caught up to me and bit me on my hand as I start screaming even more with my pants barely up my gf walks in looking at me screaming as she starts screaming we rush to hospital and check if it was that bad the doctor said I got an a allergic reaction to the bite and that I’m lucky to be alive it’s been about 3 weeks since that and now I’m being released in the 2 days
TL:DR I jerked it in the attic and got bit by a spider
livaltl: But you said your gf was out of town. How did she walk in suddenly?
Devittraisedto2: Conveniently timed GF is conveniently timed
"I sense my boyfriend is masturbating in the attic, I must return home"
mrgreyeyes: "I feel a great disturbance in the Masturbatorium"
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1659932709 | 1660052553 | t3_wizefs | t5_2to41 | 1,480 | molokomilkmaiden: TIFU by asking my boyfriend what his ex's looked like.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while, we actually met in 6th grade (we're both 45 now) and recently reconnected. This morning we were talking about our exes and I actually knew one of them, a very pretty blonde who is actually a very lovely person. He casually asked me if I'd like to see the one previous to her. Not thinking much of it I said sure. She is absolutely stunning, text book bombshell brunette and gorgeous. To be fair, I'm not an ugly woman but relatively plain. Unfortunately I've let my insecurities take over and I'm really struggling. I'm a loving person and good partner, I'm a giver and do the very best I can to be supportive and helpful. None of that is helping my current mindset. Why on earth is this man with me when he could literally do a lot better, at least physically? I know insecurities make people less attractive and add to the inclination to project. He is also incredibly gorgeous and I just don't know how to fix where my head is about it. I'm on the verge of walking away because I know, for certainty he can obviously do much better. He's been depressed and I'm affraid I'm just a filler until he can move on. I love this person and just don't want to be hurt. Ughhh, dammit. Ignorance was bliss.
TLDR my boyfriend is outa my league and I saw evidence to back it up.
Edit-
* Thank all of you who took your time to offer different points of view on the subject. It's been helpful to look at it though outside perspectives. I did not see it as a way of self sabotage and hearing that reflected has given me pause in my motivations.
*For those of you that asked, no I did not directly ask my person about it, I don't believe expressing my insecurities would he helpful. I believe insecurities are an individual problem and at root my responsibility to correct.
Randall-Flagg22: you think your dude is only with you cause of the way you look? we're not that shallow mate, well not most of us
Birtyy: Spot the Aussie... Mate...
ProtoplanetaryNebula: We say mate in the UK too mate.
Droidlivesmatter: Mate... I say it and I'm not from either UK or Aus.
I'm Canadian, I say mate but not eh.
third-sonata: Who you calling mate, buddy?
rhugaboom2: I'm not your buddy, friend.
JoeJoe1155: I'm not your friend pal
hikoseijirou: I'm not your pal, amigo.
Crhonow: I'm not your amigo, compadre.
| 10 | 148 | |
1659933224 | 1659938971 | t3_wizk0p | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by trying to impress millennials
[removed]
lowcarb73: Didn’t you just do this same thing to a class full of students?
I_am_box: OP just created their account though.
lowcarb73: Yeah. This same post with the same gif is posted once a week at least.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1659934017 | 1659954492 | t3_wizsmp | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU telling my best friend I have feelings for her
[deleted]
Disastrous-Guess1959: Pffft man fuck all that yo. You were obviously upfront with how you felt and her response is to lead you on like that? Sounds like this girl likes to play games and is probably thinking she can hold out for someone better or most likely she is crushing on someone who wont give her the time and day. If she is kissing on you and flirting and even saying that you would treat her better than anyone else but doesn't act on it? Yeah she sounds like she is probably making you her last resort.
She must like the attention you give her knows you will chase her. Don't do that to yourself man. Talk it out with her and let her know how what she does with you confuses you and see where she really stands with you on the possibility of your guy's relationship becoming more. If she gets mad or doesnt wanna give you a straight up answer then back off and just stay friends. Easier said than done i know lol but don't let her toy with your emotions like that and if she no longer wants to be friends then you will know for sure that she never cared about you in the first place. It wasn't your fuck up, it's hers for messing with your feeling's like that. Good luck and i hope it works out for you.
shapeshiftr62: Yeah, doesn't seem like OP's fault anywhere and more like she's giving mixed signals and playing mind games.
Don't feel guilty OP, it ain't your fault. She's not showing a healthy attitude with such tactics instead of being upfront with how she feels.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1659935611 | 1659937212 | t3_wj0a4w | t5_2to41 | 12 | Interesting_Listen10: TIFU by losing boner on my first night
It was all good and a happy marriage with the girl I met and we also had dated few months before marriage so the comfort levels are really good and it didn't feel like I am marrying some stranger.
However, when it came to the first night we had our room decorated with flowers fruits and fragrances and started spending time. It's our first night together.
I started making out and was feeling so good and the moment arrived when we asked each other "Are we ready for this ?"
Confidence was so high that we decided yes instantly and I went in for the goal.
Oops, Played well till the goal post and lost my boner right there. Which left us puzzled about wtf just happened.
Had to lie down naked and silent for a while.
Tl dr : lost boner at right time.
Foxtrott476: Don't you worry, friend. It is not uncommon to have this problem. Think about it: Months long build up, the stress you were going through and all the expectations.
Happened to me with my now wife two times in a row because I was so overwhelmed with feelings and a little anxious because I wanted it to be perfect for her.
Don't think about it too much. It happens and it's all in your head. Give yourself some time until you feel comfortable in that particular situation. After all, it was the first time (with her).
Cheers!
BoilmMashmStkmnaStew: 100% this.
| 3 | 4 | |
1659938408 | 1659941348 | t3_wj13o2 | t5_2to41 | 11 | TA3453462346: TIFU by complimenting a random woman's dress
TL;DR A week ago I complimented a woman on her beautiful dress and got called a pervert.
This happened about a week or so ago and I'm still wondering what I did wrong. I biked to my supermarket to pick up dinner for that day. When I was leaving the parking lot, this woman by her car caught my eye because she was wearing a very beautiful and elegant looking dress. I don't usually talk to random people but I was feeling pretty good that day. I decided to compliment her on it. As I biked pass her, I just yelled out "Hey lady, nice dress". Then I see the woman turn towards me and I think she responded "Disgusting pervert!". I don't know why she responded that way. I wanted to turn back around and apologize to her... but then I thought a strange man approaching a woman after being accused of harassment is not very smart. So I just went on my way.
Next_Difference4869: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/wdbkr2/tifu_by_calling_a_nice_guy_a_pervert/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
HeroOfTheWaste: r/tworedditorsonecup
Although I never know if I truly ever believe it. Maybe someone saw the first one and made this one.
Next_Difference4869: Yeah I’m always suspicious I’m reading made up stories but you never know.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1659938424 | 1659979500 | t3_wj140d | t5_2to41 | 12 | V3N0M3: TIFU: by turning my expensive open-back headphones wireless.
It was just another morning, the absolutely horrid sirens of the iPhone blaring asking me to get up. I obliged, I had to go out cycling after-all.
I get up and the first thing I do each morning is to make some coffee. So i pull out my pair of Sennheiser HD599s from the headphone case and plug them in. This is just a daily routine at this point. Put on something peaceful on my open-back audiophile headphones and make myself some coffee. (little background- where I live, these headphones go for $300 USD [converted to USD] and in my country 300 USD is more than enough to live comfortably for a month, so its a lot of money)
I was playing Michael meets Mozart by the Piano guys this fine morning. After plugging in the headphones I drag my groggy ass in the kitchen.
I use instant coffee sachets because its monsoon here and the coffee gets all solidified due to humidity so using plastic sachets is preferable to buying jars.
Now, its a matter of habit, I don't even look down and just pull out scissors and cut the sachet and dump that thing in the coffee mug while the milk heats on the stove.
Today, the scissor met with slightly more resistance, I payed no mind to it as i pressed on groggily, making a mental note that the scissor blades need to be resharpened.
Suddenly, the piano and the cello go silent. I look at my phone and reconnect the lightning dongle. Thats when it dawns upon me that I have inadvertently turned my open-back headphones into wireless headphones.
My heart sunk, day was ruined. Now I'm sitting behind the screen of my phone telling a bunch of internet strangers about my fuck up and looking for replacement Sennheiser wires.
TL;DR- I cut the wires on a very expensive pair of headphones
ahealthyg: Sheesh. Hopefully they’re the kind that have a detachable cable. So they’re not ruined forever
V3N0M3: Thankfully they are.
ahealthyg: I see the cable for around $30 here in the U.S, hope it’s not a lot more there
V3N0M3: 80$ here 💀
ahealthyg: Damn. Which country?
| 6 | 2 | |
1659939043 | 1659980076 | t3_wj1a9f | t5_2to41 | 35 | DeathbedConfessional: TIFU by accidentally outing my very obvious niece in front of her mom.
My (M48) sister (F42) and her daughter (F14) came over to use my pool today. It's the first time I've seen my niece in a while so we were catching up. She JUST turned 14, and my sister was joking / bitching about how she wanted to get her nose pierced for her birthday. So, my sister let her get a septum piercing, just a stainless hoop barbell, no big deal. She also notched her eyebrow. She goes to change into her swimsuit, and it's literally looks like she wrapped herself in a bi-pride flag; pink top, greyish midsection, blue bottoms. Seeing how she looks like the billboard for bi-awareness, I asked her when she came out as bi, no big deal, just being conversational.
Her mom whips around and looks and me and goes "WHAT!?" My niece just kind of shrugs. My sister, on the other hand is asking, "Why would you ask that? What makes you think she's bi?" Um... she's ANNOUNCING it? The only thing she's missing is a bi-pride tee shirt, and possibly her partner(s).
So, oops. My sister called me later and said no damage done, she suspected, but she had no idea what any of that meant. If nothing else, it explained why she seemed a lot closer to her "best friend" lately, and why she always caught them holding hands. If I had known my sister didn't know, I would have been a lot more discreet or not have brought it up though.
TL;DR My niece came dressed for a bi-pride parade, and I commented on it in from of her clueless mother, my sister, outing my niece.
JimmiRustle: Not a fuck up. I wish everybody would be as casual about it like you were.
DeathbedConfessional: Most of my friends are bi/pan, poly, and Pagan. Announcing you're bi is as exciting as announcing that it's Tuesday. So, for us, it's just another part of who you are and we keep on going. I wish it were that easy for everyone.
| 3 | 11.666667 | |
1659939890 | 1659942345 | t3_wj1ine | t5_2to41 | 8 | welcome_2_paradise: TIFU by misremembering the date for the army selection
Excuse my bad English.
Some backstory:
I, 18M, live in Israel where enrollment in the army is mandatory. However, through various phone calls, paperwork and tests we choose where we'd like to serve.
I chose to try to enroll in the navy.
Seeing as I have until March until the recruitment, I got a retail job for the summer and started to take driving lessons. My relationship with my employer is bad as - is,they see me as irresponsible and lazy. I planned on fixing things up with them this week a little bit.
I got the date and location for an important navy selection in a text message weeks ago, but forgot to tell my employer. The date written is 9-10/8 (Tuesday- Wednesday) . I remembered 8-9/8 (Monday- Tuesday)... Cue the fuck up:
The hour after the work schedule was sent, I remembered to tell my employer. They were upset, making it clear I won't make up the hours I missed from the two missing days. That was Thursday. I also set a driving lesson for Wednesday.
Today, Monday august 8th, I woke up at 5:30, drove 2 hours to Haifa, and only at 8:15 in the morning reread the text message and noticed my mistake. Quickly I informed my employer of my mistake, and they were not very understanding. They let me know that even though I'm available today, they had already found a replacement, and they refuse to reschedule again. Therefore I won't be working in the next 3 days.
Also had to cancel my driving lesson.
So a list of fuck-ups:
1. Woke up very early (not a big deal)
2. Wasted 5 hours of my day (not a big deal)
3. Missed a driving lesson (moderate)
4. Made things even worse with my employer (big deal)
tl;dr: misremembered, a date, worsed my already bad relationship with my employer.
JimmiRustle: Service is going to be hell and do wonders for you.
welcome_2_paradise: That's what everyone keeps telling me
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1659942318 | 1659943436 | t3_wj26wx | t5_2to41 | 16 | Luke8508: TIFU by talking about copper pans in my CV
So a few months ago I was applying for a part time job at Subway to save up some money before university. I filled in most of my CV with the standard grades and accomplishments then I got to the hobbies and interests section. I wanted to relate my hobbies and interests to the job, so I brought up something from a book I'd read on Georgian cuisine resulting in my hobbies and interests section looking like this:
"The last book I read was the Georgian Kitchen which focused on the evolution of food throughout the Georgian period and how developments in cookery throughout the Georgian period led to much of our modern food landscape. One particularly interesting part of the book was an anecdote where a person held a dinner party and a number of people died. It was initially blamed on a contagious disease, but it was discovered that a stew had been left in the pan overnight and the acids in the stew reacted with the copper of the pan turning it into verdigris which once eaten poisoned the guests. This event illustrates to me the importance of food safety. As such food safety is something I’d pay particular attention to in any kind of food related job."
It somehow didn't register that this passage made me sound like an axe murderer. To noone's suprise I didn't get the job.
TLDR: I put a section in my CV that made me seem really creepy.
Devittraisedto2: Why did you even think that was a good idea.
Luke8508: I thought that I would only get any benefit from the hobbies and interests section if I related the interest to the job and the copper pans anecdote was the only way I could manage that.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1659945143 | 1659952974 | t3_wj2y1w | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to watch a wholesome anime on the plane.
[deleted]
Basey124: Try attack on titan or seven deadly sins
PlatisUnbreakable: Sds when meliodas starts groping elizabeth😅
Basey124: Ähhhm...
Still family friendly???
| 4 | 3 | |
1659944916 | 1660006423 | t3_wj2vua | t5_2to41 | 1,999 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting intimate with my girlfriend.
[deleted]
Jon2046: I’m sure I’ll get downvoted for saying this but this is why you shouldn’t date women that were abused in the past, it will only lead to trouble down the line for both of you.
FlashMcSuave: You're right, you *will* get downvoted for saying this.
You're essentially suggesting that people who have faced trauma are all used up and that others shouldn't bother to even try to find love with them.
That's a very, very selfish attitude to take. They're as deserving of love as anyone and often have as much to give, they just don't know how.
Or they may not have much love to give. But you know what? *That also applies to people who have not faced trauma*.
Jon2046: What would be more selfish is going into a relationship without seeking therapy and self healing first, OPs post is a great example of this.
FlashMcSuave: You didn't say "you should wait until they have had therapy" you said "never date people who have faced trauma".
Two entirely different things.
And yes, a selfish and ugly thing to say.
Jon2046: I stand by my original statement based on personal experience 🤷♂️
ChaseThePyro: It sounds more like you just shouldn't date, then
Jon2046: That would be true if every woman went through a traumatic experience
ChaseThePyro: You don't talk to women often, do you?
Jon2046: If you’re implying every woman has gone through a “traumatic” experience, I imagine your version of traumatic is extremely different than mine.
ChaseThePyro: Traumatic doesn't have to mean being chained to a radiator and having every bone in your body broken. Sorry you've just been sheltered, my guy.
Jon2046: I’m not sheltered I’m just realistic about what’s traumatic
ChaseThePyro: Forgive me if this sounds rude, but have you considered that women don't feel comfortable talking to you about their trauma?
Jon2046: My personal experience is irrelevant to the point that “trauma” is an over used work and not every single negative life experience a person has is traumatic, it may be shorty but not traumatic
ChaseThePyro: What I am saying is that you may simply be unaware of what women go through because they don't actually talk to you. Possibly because you dismiss and deflect when people are trying to explain something to you.
Jon2046: Unless you’re trying to say that every single woman gets r@p3d/ assaulted then I don’t get what you’re trying to say
ChaseThePyro: I'm starting to think you would be shocked if you found out how many women around you have been seriously assaulted or abused. My sister, my mother, my three grandmothers, most of my exes and women friends. It happens. It happens a lot.
Or you can just keep on your merry little way and tell yourself that either I am lying or all of those women are. Because clearly the issue must be *GASP* MISANDRY!
| 17 | 117.588235 | |
1659954306 | 1659964188 | t3_wj5dvv | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally confessing my feelings to my old friend.
[deleted]
MeanMusterMistard: Tell her you don't, I suppose.
NintendoMasterPlayz: To be fair, she doesn't care about it.
MeanMusterMistard: So what's the fuck up?
NintendoMasterPlayz: The only fucked up is that I wasn't meant to say: 'YES', she asked me this question in the first place.
MeanMusterMistard: Hardly a fuck up though if she doesn't even care, though.
| 6 | 1.166667 | |
1659957045 | 1659963386 | t3_wj65ux | t5_2to41 | 29,052 | NoThemeSong: TIFU when I asked my fianceé to share a secret
**Trigger warning: sexual assault.**
**Throwaway account.**
Last night I (30m) suggested that my fianceé (28) and I tell each other whatever secret we might still have in order to purge ourselves before our upcoming wedding. We were both in bed, almost asleep, so I didn't really expect an answer from my fianceé at that time of the night, let alone a serious one, until she decided to tell me that she used to be a bully in high school.
I laughed when I heard the word "bully" because I struggled to imagine my fianceé being mean to others, even as a teenager, but the more information she provided, the quicker I shut up. At first most of the details she described were fucked up but forgivable in my opinion. Like tormenting girls who couldn't stand up for themselves, hooking up with boys who were in relationships, spreading lies about others, etc.
However, my fianceé mentioned something she did back in those days that made me instantly regret initiating this topic. She said she sexually assaulted multiple boys in high school. One of those poor boys she practically forced to have sex against his will. According to her the boys were all younger and "more vulnerable", which was part of the appeal, as she put it. She made it clear to me that none of it was consensual.
My fianceé began crying and asked me to say something. Not gonna lie, I struggled to speak, but once I was able to open my mouth I asked if she made any attempts since high school to find the boys, who are obviously adults now, and at the very least apologize to them. My fianceé said no and got even more emotional. I suggested that we do what we can to locate the men she's victimized and arrange to meet each of them if they'll allow us.
I made my fianceé understand that I respect her courage and honesty, but I'm gonna need time to process what this means for our relationship going forward. She asked if I'm still gonna marry her and I said I honestly didn't know, which made her promise to go above and beyond to reach out to her victims and reconcile as soon as possible. I promised to be there every step of the way as long as she's not just doing it to save our relationship.
This morning my fianceé gave me the name of one of the boys she sexually assaulted. She found him on IG. She asked me to give her some time to work up the courage to contact him. I understood. On one hand I'm sympathetic towards my fianceé, but on the other hand I'm unable to unsee the monster she had inside of her this whole time. I have no idea where we go from here. Anyway, whoever reads this, you made me feel less alone, so thank you.
**TL:DR Asked my fianceé to share any secret she might still have before we get married, just for fun, which prompted her to tell me she sexually assaulted students in high school and now I'm not sure if there will be a wedding.**
**EDIT:**
*As you have noticed, the moderators have decided to lock my post due to an influx of controversial comments. As a result, my inbox is being bombarded with messages. I'm unable to respond to all of you, but I do want to thank everyone for their input. I still love my fianceé and will do what I can to support her as she deals with what she's done in the past, but at the moment I can't promise if I'll provide my support as a soon to be husband or a soon to be ex boyfriend. Time will tell. I hope the people that my fianceé has hurt have become amazing human beings in spite of everything.*
schulzie420: Leave the serial RAPIST
Mishkabingus: why is this downvoted? she is a rapist and it’s fair to say no one should date a rapist let alone marry one.
Good_Smile: Are you saying that if she was a rapist in her teenage years she is a monster for the rest of her life?
MuggleWitch: Yes. Bullies rarely outgrow their bullying. They become shitty-er but more subtle in their bullying ways.
andromedaArt: mild bullies may outgrow their bullying but this is way way beyond just bullying.
| 6 | 4,842 | |
1659962477 | 1659972867 | t3_wj7w3g | t5_2to41 | 62 | Top_Worldliness5022: TIFU by asking my ex to not play video games with her ex (Mr.B)
So all this started about a week and a half ago when I broke up with my then girlfriend
Although we broke up we still talked because she thought how I broke up with her was unfair and we could still make it work and I accepted us talking because I didn't break up with her because I didn't love but because the relationship had turned extremely toxic and abusive and I couldn't handle it anymore
So fast forward to yesterday, we're talking and it's going great, telling eachother we love eachother, compliments but most importantly solving some major issues we had in our relationship. Notably the one about Mr.B, which was she had cheated on me with him, her ex
She did this twice, the first time was them making out in his car. The second was full on sex on multiple occasions. We had stayed together despite this because I knew the guy was a manipulator and after she explained to me what happened I thought she was at fault for ignoring my insecurities about him and lying to me that nothing was happening, but I thought he had more to be blamed for it and that he clearly manipulated her into having sex
But sadly even after the cheating thing's weren't looking great because she continued hanging out with him and now she would actively compare me to him everytime we had fights and Mr.B would often come text me telling how much of bad boyfriend I was and how much I didn't love her
So of course getting back with her I wanted this settled, and we did she even said how much she was "disgusted by him" and that she wouldn't hangout with him or play video games and that now she barely texted him and was slowly distancing herself but most importantly, wouldn't compare me to him/say he's better
And then, yesterday night, she asked me if she could play Valorant with him because she "needed, like in the literal sense" to rank up. Now because of a typo I thought she was already playing and was asking while doing so, this made me cranky but then I apologized for not understanding but immediately after got cranky again when she said:
"dude you're just insecure cuz you know he treats me better than you ever will" followed by her saying she's not the only one to say that and that I'm pushing him away because Im intimidated by someone putting effort into her, because I "don't put in any"
She ended up gaming with him because I didn't respond "maturely enough" and even after explaining why gaming especially was hard for me even if its just gaming, she just said I was insecure
And today she defended herself by saying "well you can't deny you don't give the bare minimum", to which I said that after all our chats and how much progress we had done and our "great day yesterday" I don't understand how she could think that... She told me "gaslighting much ?"
TL:DR I asked my ex to distance herself from (Mr.B, her ex) if she'd want a chance at us getting back together... Only to be blamed for everything that's happened and her to refuse the boundary I tried to make
TheYungWaggy: Mate... she is a grown woman. Stop deluding yourself, she isnt being "manipulated into having sex with him". You are being manipulated into staying in a relationship with her, when she is obviously getting what she really wants elsewhere and just using you.
She is a total psychopath, and you are being seriously gaslit if what you say is true lol. You have every right to tell her she cant speak to a guy that she CHEATED ON YOU WITH. What the fuck hahahah
merganzer: >she is a grown woman.
I'm not denying that OP should run away and never look back, but I think both of these people are about 14.
TheYungWaggy: Maybe, maybe. But I also know plenty of grown ass adults who are in relationships like this.
Either way, at least we can both agree that the lady is bad news & both parties need to grow up a bit
| 4 | 15.5 | |
1659962443 | 1659964737 | t3_wj7vpw | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a threesum with my gf and her bestfriend
[deleted]
synkndown: That's not a threesome, you just cheated.
Deep_Space92: The worst part, from my point of view, is the kid's future. A kid is mentioned at the beginning of the post but nowhere afterwards. Not the best image to have of your father honestly. A guy who cheated and is wanting to leave the household because "there's better sex over there". I mean come on.
synkndown: The worst part to me is the gf was willing, brought an "acceptable" friend, and the op still went behind her back.
Deep_Space92: That's a fair point, he abused the opportunity that was given. The gf was probably open enough to "revive" the relationship and continue nurturing it, despite having insecurities with her body (which he didn't help with in first place). And then this guy just decides to utterly disrespect here.
| 5 | 3 | |
1659963140 | 1659989449 | t3_wj8409 | t5_2to41 | 117 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting my pants
[deleted]
cam_huskers: I feel like this is the stuff that would have bonded two guys together for life.
kse1239: They were girls. She mentioned she thought it was her period.
cam_huskers: Yes. I understand that.
kse1239: Oh shit lmao. I see what you mean now.
| 5 | 23.4 | |
1659963909 | 1659977640 | t3_wj8dzz | t5_2to41 | 13 | Equivalent-Mood2357: TIFU By accidentally going to a random barber shop
Im underage and my mom scheduled an appointment with one of my neighbours who was a barber to cut my hair. I went into the barber shop, got a haircut, left and when I came home my mom called me and said “so you couldn’t make it to the barber shop”. I was confused by what she meant and said that I just got a haircut. She told me that the barber said I never came to get my haircut done. Then she started screaming at me for going in to the wrong barbershop and waisting the hour of my neigbours time. The worst part is that I knew that my neighbour was supposed to cut me but I thought that she just was busy with something else. Bro how could I’ve fucked this up. How will I have to walk past my neigbour everyday with her knowing that I went to the wrong barber shop. I’m so fucking mad at myself because this mistake is so fucking stupid. I’m so embarrassed.
TL;DR I accidentally went to another barber shop because I’m a dumbass
hammerheadstark: I don't know why your mom made such a big deal. You got a hair cut it isn't like you went and did something else. Accidents happen. This is a very dumb one to get bent out of shape and upset about . Any good neighbor or friend would prob laugh it off.
Equivalent-Mood2357: I live in a country where this laughing off thing doesn’t really exist. They jump to cunclusio s super fast and just think that you’re stupid
hammerheadstark: What country is that?
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1659963686 | 1659965462 | t3_wj8b5r | t5_2to41 | 6 | Master-Whereas-7128: TIFU by celebrating my birthday with a friend.
TIFU by celebrating my birtday with a friend
This doesn't seem a really big deal in general, but I really hurt a friend and I need to get this off my chest.
I (16M) have two friends, Sara (16F) and Alexia (16F) and we all 3 have our birthdays around the 24-30th of august, so, One day I was talking with Alexia about celebrating our birtdays together since they're so close, but we didn't really talk much about It, later that day Sarah told me to do the same and suggested a three people birthday but Alexia didn't like the Idea, we are all inside the same friend group but me and Alexia are part of another group of friends, so, I thought that the most reasonable thing to do was to celebrate one birthday with Sarah and another with Alexia, the one with Sarah will be celebrated with the group that we all are a part of, and the one with Alexia will be celebrated with the other group of friends, the thing is, I didn't really talked this with Alexia, and when I made a whatsapp group fornthe birthday, Alexia priv chatted me and told me that she's sick of being ignored and that she wasn't going to celebrate her birthday anymore, (for context, she's been having a really hard time because of his friends abandoning her and having a f'd up summer). I told her I know I've fucked up and that I will make her have a birthday somehow, I know the way I phrased It Alexia sounds entilted but she isn't, I am just really forgetfull and thought of talking to her about this later, I feel like shit because she didn't need any more shit to gou through and I fucked up goo for her, we were going to a party but she said through the whatsapp group that she isn't going because she doesn't feel well emotionaly, I don't really know how to solve this and I feel like a piece of shit for ruining her already bad summer even more, what should I do?
Pd: I talked to her about the birthday (Alexia) and she said she didn't know if she wanted to celebrate her birthday with the other goup (the one I was intending to celebrate with her) Sorry if this is hard tonundesrtand I don't know how to puti it better.
TL:DR : I celebrated my birthday with one of my friends and, the other friend that I planned to celebrate another birthday with, got mad because I didn't comunicate well enough.
Jugales: Eh, you gotta work with what you've got. You can't choose your birthday. I don't think your FU was terrible and they will get over it. I'm 26 and haven't celebrated my birthday in over 5 years, which tells me this is teen drama.
Master-Whereas-7128: It really is teen drama, but yk teen drama matters when you're a teen.
Jugales: For the time yes, it does. I remember dealing with it like, "I can't wait for you people to grow up" lol. Even still, good job at attempting to remedy the situation. It's not like your actions were intentionally ill.
Master-Whereas-7128: Thank you, yeah I'm sure nothing major will come of this but I still feel pretty bad,she's going to a rough time and I kinda feel like I just pured salt on the wound, but I'm sure It will turn out just fine.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1659933979 | 1659975878 | t3_wizs8f | t5_2to41 | 9 | BFDMod: TIFU by making out with gf in park
So this happened 2 hours ago. Some background information, I have a work van that has a power inverter and the back is Isola from the front with a metal grate. It's not a creeper van, it is a fully wrapped sprinter van.
My gf is leaving for the airforce in 5 weeks so we have been trying to have dates were we have alone time before she leaves. We are both in agreement that we will not have sex anytime soon but we do make out still.
So we decide to set up a small TV and DVD player in the back of the van on the power inverter so we could watch the new minions movie. To my disappointment redbox does not have the minion movie yet so we got "bad guys" instead.
We parked in the parking lot of an empty park and started watching the movie. Spoiler the movie sucks. So we started making out instead. Again, we had zero intentions of having sex.
All of the sudden in the heat of the moment someone bangs on the side of the van and they shined a light through the front window into my face and loudly said that they could see me. This scared the shit out of both of us and I hesitate only a moment before opening the side door and getting ready to defend ourselves if it were a bad person. It turned out to be cops, okay cool. Probably just checking to see why the van is running with nobody up front right?
Turns out that park closes at night and they inforce is stongly. But the cops also thought we were having sex despite us both being fully clothed and the movie playing on the TV. Long story short they ran our IDs and told us that sex in a public location was a felony but they had no proof so they couldn't do anything thank God. They told us it was still a misdemeanor but they let us go I guess?
We both have jobs that require clean background checks and watching this movie in the park at night almost ruined everything.
I understand that it really didn't look good for us but we weren't doing anything wrong besides unknowingly being in the park after closing, that's what's annoying about it.
Needless to say this ended the short date and put us in a really awkward position. Fml
TLDR gf and I got in trouble watching a movie in my work vehicle in a park that we didn't know was close. Then the cops assumed we were having sex despite us being fully clothed and they threatened us with a felony for sex in public.
n3m37h: Wow imagine going to jail and not being able to vote for having consensual sex? FREEDOM! /s
BFDMod: What?
n3m37h: If you are a felon you can not vote, felony charges brings jail time. Unless the cop was just trying to scare ya
BFDMod: All that to not even have sex lol
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1659966750 | 1659967167 | t3_wj9egt | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU when I skipped my first day at my new job
[deleted]
Gunslinger_327: Welcome to the real world bro......
monterreynights: I know man, I just been working my ass off lately my mind is in another place entirely
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1659965941 | 1659986818 | t3_wj93ye | t5_2to41 | 155 | monkey3605: TIFU and had a 6 Hour Erection
As a Prostate Cancer Prostatectomy (daVinci Robot) survivor + 10 years now, ED is a fact of life. After the surgery my (60s M) testosterone got pretty low so my libido was suffering greatly. Neither I nor my spouse are happy with the fact and even with the occasional little blue pill and my nemesis Mr Pumpy with the silicone constrictor ring (even though Mr Pumpy can inflate me to monster cock size, that little fucker hurts and with no blood flow, my dick is cold like a zombie cock - my wife says it's sort of like me fucking her wearing a strap-on dildo) the hardon still doesn't last too long and sex isn't great. So, off we go to find a solution. OTC Testosterone boosters don't seem to help so I look at the BioT Testosterone pellet to get the sex drive back and then some boner pills. Insurance does not cover ED meds but with GoodRX they are affordable. Over the years my urologist had given me different samples and Cialis works better for me than Viagra and trying to plan 2 hours ahead to take the pill sucks so I want the 5mg daily version. Prior to the getting the go ahead for the pellet, my urologist wants to make sure there aren't any physical problems with my ween so he schedules the boner test. Let the fun begin.
I go to the appointment with no information other than I'm going to get a shot in my dick that will make me hard for about 2-3 hours, they will do an ultrasound of the erection to look for physical defects, and to go home afterwards and take advantage of the situation (wink). The tech, a short guy in his 50s, comes in the exam room and has me take off my pants and underwear and lie back on the table. He does a little shot of numbing stuff and then one shot on each side at the base of my dick. Doesn't hurt but does not feel good either, just uncomfortable. He gives it a few tappy taps on each side then says that he will leave the room for about 10-15 minutes, for me to start masturbating, to get up and walk around a bit will help and hands me a few dog eared 1980s Playboys. Really? Well I get busy on the phone and fire up /r/gonewildstories and before you know it I've got the biggest strongest boner since my 20s. Hot Damn! The tech finally comes back to start the ultrasound. He squeezes a healthy glob of lube and proceeds to rub the wand up and down and all around my dick - not gonna lie, felt good in a weird sorta way, then hands me a box of Kleenex to clean up and hands me the post procedure instructions.
The instructions are: go home and have sex/masturbate to orgasm. Orgasms will help do whatever it is that lets your dick deflate. You may need to do this a few times. If after 3 hours, you still have an erection, take 2 Sudafed and wait 20-30 min and your erection should subside. If after an additional 3 hours it has not, take 2 more. If after another 3 hours, call your physician.
I wipe up, get dressed and tuck my bone under the waistband of my underpants. It is starting to feel a bit uncomfortable. My dick skin hasn't been stretched this tight in I can't remember when. I get home and drop trou, walk into the living room, my boner leading the way to where my wife is on the couch. "Looky what I brought home baby! Let's not waste it, plus Dr's orders.. <wink wink>". She's not feeling well (long different story) and says sorry, you'll need to take care of it yourself. :(
Off to the bedroom, lube and reddit and the first one doesn't take too long.
Sidebar, a side effect of the prostatectomy is ... no prostate therefore no seminal fluid therefore, no splooge. A dry cum. No wet spot either but don't let the Dr. tell you any differently, it's not the same. It's still an orgasm but like \~ 50% as good. Kind of like when you were a teenager and you tried to see how many times you could get off and about the 4th or fifth time, you really had to work at it and not much comes out because you have literally wrung yourself dry. Still feels good but not as much? Like that. Back to the story...
Still rock hard. Try again. Now it is starting to get painful to touch the way an overfull zit that is about to pop if you even barely brush it with your finger except it is your whole penis. It hurts to let it hang freely if you stand up. I have to hold it up to my stomach when I walk to keep the pressure off it. The wife has left for her own Dr. appointment so I'm flying solo. Standing up hurts. Wearing anything that touches my dick hurts. Off to Walgreens for Sudafed wearing sweatpants so that I can gently hold my dick up through the pocket. I'm sure I look like some kind of pervert. I eat 2 pills in the car on the way home.
20 min later, no joy. Still hard. Try to beat off again but dry hurts too much, lube doesn't provide enough friction and the pain is too distracting from even my favorite porn that I save for special occasions. Still, I take one for the team and finally get off again but the orgasm isn't worth it and does nothing for the swelling. I'm not waiting another 3 hours.
Of course it's Friday and the Dr. Office closes early. I call and get the answering service who is sympathetic and promises to get the message to the Dr's assistant ASAP. It has been almost 5 hours now and it's then that I realize that I bought TIME RELEASE Sudafed. FUUUUUUUUK ME. Back to CVS this time because I don't want to be seen twice and have to explain to the pharmacist why I'm back for more.
On the way I get a call from the PA. I explain what I did and she says she'll put me through to the Doctor. I perv walk back out of CVS hunched over my dick that is now starting to turn purple and I'm having thoughts of driving to the ER for a different shot in my dick while I eat 2 more of the correct Sudafed. I get home and the Doc calls me.
"You should have called me after 3 hours!"
"Not what your instructions say!" I said, picking them up and reading them back to him.
"Yeah, that could be worded a little better".
"You think? I feel like my dick is about to explode!"
"Well, the Sudafed should start working in about 15-20 min. If it doesn't by 30 minutes, go to to an ER and call me back".
Good news, about 15 minutes later the pressure started to ease and by 30 min I was completely flaccid but boy howdy, still tender. Needless to say, I didn't try to rub one out that night.
The test came back negative, I got the pellet and the Rx for daily Cialis (generic) 30-day supply $9. I'm horny and ready to go all the time now!
TLDR: I got a boner shot, bought the wrong anti-boner meds and had a painful 6-hour erection.
Pharoahs_Horses: After all that time, you walk into that house with a big proud boner and she hits you with "I don't feel well" lol
I'm happy you found a solution of sorts, but goddamn that was funny
bubba7557: Basically explains marriage. She's likely happy the little guy doesn't work too often
froglover215: This may surprise you but there are many women out there who really like to have sex.
farrockaway: Yep. If you aren’t meeting any of them, I’d take a long hard look at what the common denominator is.
klospulung92: No worries, there are dozens of hot singles in my area
| 6 | 25.833333 | |
1659969388 | 1659974003 | t3_wjafy6 | t5_2to41 | 6 | ToxinWolffe: TIFU by going to a party and getting drunk underage.
I (17m) was invited to a party by a coworker last night. We had gotten high before but never anything that involved going out of the safety of a house.
As you can tell by my age, I'm not a legal adult yet and I'm not legally aloud to drink alcohol in the United States. So, due to this, I couldn't exactly tell my legal guardian (my grandma) that I was going to a party. So, I constructed the lie that I was going to a friend's house to play Dungeons and Dragons. My grandma knows what this game is and that it can last for a long time, so I had my ass covered if I needed to stay the night at the Designated Driver's place.
We get to the party, and and for the first few minutes I'm completely sober. Just standing around awkwardly because this was actually my first party. After a few minutes, my friend who invited me to the party gave me a drink- he said it was a mix between fruit punch and some other thing I don't remember what it was called. After about 30 minutes to an hour of being there, I'm completely drunk- stumbling around introducing myself to random strangers I found attractive by saying, "hi I'm drunk!" This is where one of the major parts of the fuck up began. My designated driver and the coworker who invited me to the party asked for my keys (we all took my car because none others were available). I assumed this was to keep me from driving. Next thing I know I see them going outside and driving my car away from the party. I was too drunk to really be worried, but I was still thinking, "Oh if they crash my car I'm fucking dead lmao"
While they were gone, there was a scare that the cops were called. So- everyone was ushered into a bedroom and I hid in a closet. I proceeded to text a random friend if mine about th E situation and she made a joke that when I leave I should make a remark about being gay as a joke. This is just a tangent, not really related to the fuck up. Turns out everything was fine and we were all invited to keep partying. After about twenty minutes of just being a dumbass and failing at flirting, the DD and my coworker got back from the store and dropped off the alcohol. I was a but annoyed, but then the DD ended up acting as my "babysitter" and made sure I didn't end up killing myself going downstairs. She also apologized to me about taking my car, which lessened my mild annoyance.
At around one or so I think, we all eventually ended up leaving. I don't remember if there was an exact reason, but we all just rode back to the DD's place.
Now, it's the morning afterwards. The Designated Driver is awake and coughing her lungs out, my coworker just woke up, and I'm mildly paranoid about I can get the smell of the drink I spilled off of me before I go home today.
TL;DR: I'm 17, went to a party, got drunk, and the morning afterwards I'm paranoid about how I can avoid smelling like I'm an alcoholic.
dlf420: And where exactly is the part where you fucked up?
ToxinWolffe: Making the decision to go
RedEd024: this is the most mild story i have ever read about going out to a party.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1659969523 | 1659974555 | t3_wjaht3 | t5_2to41 | 29 | Sri_K_314159: TIFU by getting a girlfriend and potentially losing all the happiness in my life
I fucked up by getting a girlfriend. I posted this into r/teenagers as well, but thought that this might be a better place.
So, this quite a long story. Also, forgive the formatting and typing errors I am on mobile.
My birthday was on 2nd Aug. Me (17M) and my best friend (17F) were hanging out in starbucks nearby. We had planned to hangout with one another that day, weeks in advance. That day, we both confessed our crush and talked for hours. For background, we live in India, where teenage relationships are not very well received by majority of the parents. Also, we both are preparing for competitive exams, so that means we have to study like hell.
So, after talking for all this time, we decided to be in a casual relationship, as we both knew we would probably go to different universities and that there was no future. Also, we wanted to prioritize our studies and us being best friends over anything else.
Now, here comes the fuck up part. She told her mom that day, and her mom said that she was fine with it. As for me, I was planning on telling my mom a few weeks later.
Yesterday, she didn't respong to my calls or texts at all, and that really got me worried. Its unlike that she wouldn't respond.
So, finally, when we met in class today, I asked her why she ghosted me yesterday (I knew she was reading my messages) and she said that her dad took her phone away. So now, her dad knows that we are in a relationship and he texted me from her number saying that he wanted to talk to my parents one day, and that he would share the details later.
I am really freaking out now, because I know that if my dad were to find out then he would absolutely kill me. I am afraid that he will beat me if he finds out. I am really scared right now. My heartrate jumped to 110 when I read the messages from her dad.
I finally told my mom today, and she is cool with it.she understands that in this age this is normal. I don't know what her parents said to her. I guess I am going to break up with her tomorrow. This is getting beyond what I can handle.
I just needed to say this to someone. Honestly, I am what you would describe as being a total nerd. I never thought that I would ever get a girlfriend. When I did, I was so excited that I ended up telling half of my friends and cousins. Now I feel really bad about telling that to others. Not gonna lie, I am kind of mad at my (soon to be) ex-gf too. She knew that if she were to tell her parents then things could go out of hand, and now, they have.
I am worried about what is going to happen to me now. I think (but I hope not) that her parents would contact my parents and tell them about this. That means, I would very likely get beaten up by my dad, I would have my iPad and phone taken away from me, and the only things that bring me happiness - books on my iPad, and other things like listening to songs on mobile, will be taken away from me.
I use my iPad to study a lot. It has all my books on it, as they are too expensive to buy. But those maths books will be gone now. I am so scared. Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore.
Telling my parents that these things do not affect my studies is not going to work, (I study for 7+ hours everyday plus 4 hours of classes) and I am worried that not only all these things would be taken away from me, but I will go back to my depressed self from years ago (I took a lot of effort to become more cheerful and social, I was bullied a lot in school so i was always depressed and I still suffer with confidence and occasional depression issues), not only that but I can't talk to my best friend (ex gf) anymore. That hurts even more.
My life is fucked now. This is probably the last time I will be using reddit.
Thanks for listening to my rant, I really needed to get this off of my chest, thanks for reading. Any advice is appreciated.
TLDR : I got a gf. She told her parents. And now, I am worried that my parents would find out as well, and all the happiness in my life would be taken away from me, and i would get beaten up. I would probably go back to depression issues, and i lost my best friend. My life will be fucked now.
Edit1 : Just wanted to give a small update. I talked to my girlfriend right now, and I broke up with her. She doesn't know anything about her dad texting me. She had her phone taken away from her. I am not upset about me losing my girlfriend, i am upset about losing my best friend.
sw1ff3: why would your dad be mad if you had a gf?
Sri_K_314159: Because i would get distracted from my studies and will not be able to achieve my dreams - that i wouldn't get into a good university.
sw1ff3: are you asian by any chance
Sri_K_314159: I mentioned in the post that i am Indian.
| 5 | 5.8 | |
1659972937 | 1659977602 | t3_wjbw42 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Plastic-Classic-2766: TIFU by beating my meat dry and injuring it.
I (18M) live with my parents and siblings and this is how i fucked up:
Yesterday at around 6AM in the morning when i was about to leave for the gym, decided it was a good idea to reddit for 15mins. But i came across a post where somebody mentioned a girl’s profile. I clicked on the link to her profile only to find a shit ton of hot nudes.
I got an erection almost immediately and I knew that this would bug me in the gym later. But the thing was it would get pretty late if i went to the bathroom to masturbate because i would have to do a lot of cleaning up and shit later.
I wanted to make it quick and started doing it DRY. Everyone was sound asleep in their rooms so I should have had no worries doing it right there. Right when i was about to nut, this sharp pain hit several spots on my dick. I didn’t mind it thinking it would just go away. I nutted, cleaned up with a tissue, and headed for the gym.
I did whatever i usually do at the gym. But when i returned home at around 8AM, I felt the same sharp sensation i felt earlier in the morning. I pulled out my dick to check, and thats when i saw three huge cuts on my dick as if i have been masturbating with sandpaper or something. I couldn’t even walk properly after that because whenever my dick moved the cuts would hurt even more.
As if that wasn’t enough, today i actually did it with soap thinking it would be fine.
The thing is, it probably need a week more to heal. 🤣
I went to the doctor he gave me some meds and cream to put on my dick.
Now i cannot move from my bed, have my legs spread wide open so they don’t touch my dick.
Im probably gonna be in bed for about two more days so wish me luck fellas.
TLDR: I masturbated dry with bare hands and now i have three cuts on my dick and cannot leave bed for three days.
Scarboroughwarning: Are your hands super rough?
Bare hands should not strip the skin off of other areas of the body.
Plastic-Classic-2766: No, i just overdid it lol
Scarboroughwarning: I'm not even sure why I'm asking this, but... Do you normally use lube, or something?
Plastic-Classic-2766: Yeahhh of course soap or shampoo or sometimes oil
Scarboroughwarning: You're relying on external friction. Modify your technique.
I'm not going to elaborate too much further,.but there are other ways.
Plastic-Classic-2766: What should i do them? start sounding or some shit?
Scarboroughwarning: I have not got a clue what you wrote.
Also, I'm not going to tell anyone how to to best have a wank. It's not attached to me.
Just that, personally, I have never taken skin off
Plastic-Classic-2766: Bro check out r/sounding to understand what i meant.
Scarboroughwarning: You lost me at "bro".....
And no... Sounding is not for me
Plastic-Classic-2766: What is wrong with you. So u have a problem with me saying “bro” ?
| 11 | 0.181818 | |
1659973311 | 1660057932 | t3_wjc1m6 | t5_2to41 | 3,251 | Dry-Bandicoot-4631: TIFU by being a mixture of socially awkward and oblivious to clear signs of hooking up
This happened maybe 10 years ago, during my early college dorm days.
Before I start, I just wanted to add I have never been in a relationship and do not know what flirting is and have 0 awareness. If you want me to do something you have to straight up tell me.
Anyways, there was a girl (solid 9/10 at the time) that I met that kind of blended into my small friend group. We're both shy introverted people so normally, we wouldn't even meet in the first place. Overtime, I started to be more comfortable with her and I thought we got along pretty well. Well one night as the group slowly died down and everyone started to go home. I ended up being alone with her. We talk and she brings up the topic of both being virgins. Now at this point, I have no clue what to say anymore and go to my super awkward insert 'haha' or 'interesting' whenever she talks about it. She then escalated about it and is now talking about how she wants to lose it and her friends back home were joking about not letting her back home before she lost it and hoped that college would be when she does. Maybe a solid 10 minutes of this and 10 minutes of me adding nothing to the conversation later, she gives up and just calls it a night. After that day, she became a bit more distant. Which I remember sucks cause I really enjoyed hanging out with her.
A week after, I noticed my floor neighbor (buddy's room) with a sock on the handle as I went over to the bathroom to wash up. On my way back to my room, I see her heading out of his room and now 10 years later think I have a pretty good understanding of what happened.
TL:DR: Met a girl that I got along with pretty well. Ended up talking about sex and I completely shut down socially. She ended up fucking a buddy of mine instead.
Edit: minor wording stuff.
Also, did not expect this to blow up so much, usually just a lurker. This is my first post and I made a random account for it. I'm glad people enjoyed the story. All I can say is the comment section was a joy to read through and I'm glad you all had similar interactions.
For the small amount of comments, no reason to talk badly about her, she was great even if she just wanted to bang. I enjoyed my time with her (although I'm not sure about her thoughts). I look back at this and just laugh, no matter how much I cringe at it. If I'm not holding it against her, neither should you.
Final note: Women, hints work 0% of the time. (For me at least :) )
rogue_noob: The only reason I'm with my gf (10 years and counting) is because she said something along the line of "I miss having someone to sleep next to and spoon up with, maybe you should come over one night". Anything less and I would have missed it
Edit: as someone pointed out, a lot of us would have said something like "ok maybe" or "I'll think about it". Well, I did that. She said "I'm serious, come over next Wednesday".
She latter told me that she wasn't hoping anything would come out of it, but that she was going in with an open mind. Basically "either we just cuddle and sleep or this good friend become a little more than a friend" and both options were good.
jpeck89: There are those of us who would say, "haha, yeah maybe." And then do nothing about it.
rogue_noob: I did, she said "I'm serious, come over next Wednesday"
jpeck89: I like how she went from obvious hint, to directly telling you the actions you should take.
rogue_noob: I guess she realized how clueless I was about social interactions.
Littleman88: Okay, she gets to drop cutesy hints and send signals because she can read them too. I had not considered this could be a two way street for the relationally challenged, *but now I do.*
She's one of the good ones. 10 years and no ring? I am obligated to ask if there are any signs you might have been missing suggesting she's ready to say "yes?"
rogue_noob: She got a ring, engagement ring, we are waiting for her to finish school before we get married. She just never finish, she's doing a PhD now so there can't be too much more school after that right? Right?
Nathan-Stubblefield: Who is the PhD she is doing?
rogue_noob: Biochemistry. Working on the metabolism of fruit flies and the impact of nutrition on them.
brewsky27: Whoosh.
| 11 | 295.545455 | |
1659974227 | 1659976529 | t3_wjcf7i | t5_2to41 | 5 | Stock_Literature_967: TIFU by texting my ex who broke up with me after 14 days
Not exactly today but I’ve got to talk about this one. We had known each other for about 5 months. We met on a mental health app online and then started texting on iMessage. Initially, we were flirting and then I made it clear that I wasn’t looking for any sort of relationship. We started sexting, and before we knew, we started using nick names, regular phone calls, phone sex etc.
I had my national competitive exams soon but I still spent enormous amount of time with him instead of studying. And mind you, only 5% of people pass this exam.
Right after exams got over, I asked him to be my boyfriend. It was early morning for him so I didn’t really get a good reaction but he said yes. It was nice for 14 days but I wasn’t able to spend too much time with him cuz I had some post exams’ courses to get done with before my results came in. On 14th day, he said he wanted a break. We broke up and it was very painful. Since I wasn’t giving him enough time, maybe I saw this coming. Plus he’s super horny and I wasn’t really doing that with him for quite a while cuz I had gotten super busy. He said he wanted to go back to being friends and I quote, “without the flirting part”. I told him I want to let him go cuz I was heart broken.
My results came out recently and I flunked big time. It was partially because it was my first time experiencing anything romantic and sexual so I was really lost in love.
My exams are in November again. I’m re-taking them. I fucked up by texting him again recently. Last night he was horny as usual and wanted to phone sex. I told him I just want to be friends. But I’m starting to notice that we’re still flirting. I should be focusing on my studies and let him go cuz he doesn’t know what he wants or basically just needs someone for sexual pleasure and sweet talks.
I’m finding it super hard to stop texting him again. I really wanna pass my exams.
Ps please be kind. I turned 19 like 4 days ago and all of this is my first time.
Any tips?
TL;DR being involved romantically/sexually distracts me which made me flunk my exams big time. I’m re-taking them soon but I’ve started re-texting my ex and I’m distracted again. Not to mention he’s basically using me and wants meaningless phone sex.
DevilDog82nd: Mental health apps are dating apps now. Talk about a recipe for disaster lol.
Stock_Literature_967: None of your business :)
MerleFSN: It kinda is - you put it on stage.
I don‘t have a hint though. You‘re undergoing very normal mental development. Be aware that none of this will have this much of an emotional impact on you ever again; you grow somewhat resistant.
Right now setting your priorities straight should be the highest priority. For me at my current age that would be education/carreer-path related successes.
For you you need to prioritize. Be aware there are noticable less regrets for people following the „long run“ (=education).
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1659976124 | 1659976948 | t3_wjd87r | t5_2to41 | 3 | throwaway_ihatepmo: TIFU by watching YouTube at 3am. I saw something truly horrifying which made me not sleep until 6am
It was the thumbnail of an Goregrind iceberg (it's a music genre, which is basically death metal on steroids plus pig squeals)
On that thumbnail, there was the album cover of Regurgitate's "Carnivorous Erection"
I swear to God, DON'T LOOK IT UP. It's NSFL
SFW description: It's a picture of a skull with rotten brownish flesh, it's kinda asymmetrical and the mouth is wide open.
I have seen a lot of corpses and skulls, but this really gives me the "Jesus, I can feel Satan's presence in my room right now" vibes
The worst part is: The album was released in 1994. Before Google. So how the F did the band get this very picture of that severely rotten skull?
I couldn't fall asleep until 6am
I used to listen to this genre of music, and a lot of album covers are just gore. It was a dark time, I thought I would man up if I'm gonna listen to this. Nope. Was wrong. Thank God it was like 8 years ago, nowadays I unironically love classical music and that's it
Another small warning: Also don't watch the video on the history of War Metal on YouTube, because that's where the album cover is used too, basically as a jumpscare (unintended I reckon).
TL;DR : Was browsing YouTube at 3am, came across a Goregrind iceberg video, thumbnail included a NSFL album cover, couldn't fall asleep until 6am, still scarred right now
metapet: lmao don’t google it guys xD
Magicalmercat: Its the perfect time to google it since im about to sleep
| 3 | 1 | |
1659976966 | 1659999298 | t3_wjdkxe | t5_2to41 | 16,173 | fuzzyone06: TIFU by overestimating how loud my new lawnmower is
I (33M) recently purchased a new lawnmower. The one I had for the last few years was a preowned 20+ year old beast that finally died out on me earlier this summer. For a normal sized, non-self propelled mower, that sucker was LOUD. Like, I couldn't run it after 7pm loud without causing a disturbance to my neighbors. Well, I found a good deal on a new one, and I sent my old one to the big garden shed in the sky. This last Saturday, I decided to take it out for a spin.
I donned my suburban dad outfit, baseball cap and all, and tossed on my noise cancelling headphones, turned my music on shuffle, and got to work. And of course, like I do with any household task while listening to music, I started to sing. I figured, hey, loud ass mower, who's gonna hear me? So, for the next 60 minutes, I mowed and sang. I was an adult contemporary powerhouse, singing everything from Michael Jackson, to Post Malone, to a little JPop here and there, to Whitney Houston. I don't care, I'm having fun, and who can hear me? Besides, I'm not a bad singer at all I don't think. Not exactly going on tour any time soon, but good enough that I think I could sing in some low rent local cover band.
Well....turns out my two neighbors who live in the house directly behind and rear left of mine were having a little powow where their kids were out playing and they were just chilling on the lawn...I wasn't paying attention to them. At least, not until I got 85% of the way done and I stopped for a water break. I pull off my headphones, grab a big swig of my water bottle, take a moment to stretch my back, and then I see them...3 of my adult neighbors have lighters in the air waving at me. I was puzzled at first, so I waved back politely. One of them said "great concert FuzzyOne! When's your next show??" I was confused for a moment, but, like the rising sun itself, the light of my humiliation crept across my mind. I wanted nothing more than to abandon the mower, run inside, grab my wife and kids, burn the house down, change my name, grow a mustache and move us all to mexico out of sheer embarrassment. But I held it together, and said (probably a little louder and more high pitched than I intended) "uhh you guys could hear me?" They smiled and nodded. One of them laughed a bit. They were teasing me a bit, but not in a mean way. I said back "oh god I'm so sorry". They told me it was fine and it was fun watching me enjoy myself with the singing and little dance moves I was doing. I stared at a little rabbit den forming in my yard secretly wishing I could just go hang down there with the bunnies. I'm like "wtf how can you hear anything over the lawn mower. I was singing, but certainly not loud enough to be heard past the lawnmower, right?" Welp. I turned the mower on, sans headphones, and sure enough, this thing was way more quiet by comparison. Like, I could do a medium shout over this thing and be heard clearly, whereas the old one I could scarcely shout at the top of my lungs at a short distance to be heard.
I laughed it off with more courage than I actually had at the time and said "well, next show's gonna cost you. I don't give front row seats for free to just anyone." They laughed, I waved, and got back to work, swearing that the next time I work outside it's going to be podcasts or nothing. I figured, ok, it's over, right? Embarrassing moment, maybe they'll make a few jokes about it over the next few months, but they'll forget about it, yeah?
BOY WAS I F\*\*\*IN' WRONG. I sat down to dinner on Saturday night to an alert from Facebook that someone had posted in the neighborhood group. turns out my neighbors talked after the incident, and now they're "inspired" and want to do a neighborhood karaoke night, and they want me to join in and/or emcee. They called me the neighborhood DJ -\_- and now either I have to do this again for a larger crowd, or risk being seen as the neighborhood party pooper. We have 50+ houses in the neighborhood and at time of writing, at least 40 people have commented on the thread expressing interest. I've been trying very hard to stay on good terms with my neighbors for obvious reasons, and they're overall pretty decent folk, but man I am going to need to double up on my anxiety meds for this. Curse me and my magnificent singing voice!
&#x200B;
TL;DR I sang my heart out while mowing the lawn, thinking nobody could hear me. I was wrong, and now people want me to host a karaoke night.
onebeautifulmesss: Mortifying but you must be decently good?! and obviously the neighborhood demands it lol.
I think you should def show up in your suburban dad outfit and don’t forget your headphones!
fuzzyone06: ....I'm gonna need a new hat.
SonOfZaknafein: Yeah, dude. Khaki shorts, white tube socks pulled up, nondescript white tennis shoes and a polo. DJ Dad.
Malenx_: I vote swap the shoes for sandals, keep the socks.
SonOfZaknafein: Can't believe I missed that. Maybe also a visor.
Hom3b0dy: I think a bucket hat would complete the look!
hedgehogsnmoose: If there ever was a time for a Fanny pack this it!
Malenx_: But it needs to be one that has the separate can holder for his second drink. The first of course in hand while he also holds the shaking lawnmower handle.
| 9 | 1,797 | |
1659978018 | 1659979606 | t3_wje0wb | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU showing a nude to a lovely girl I had just met.
[deleted]
pow3rdiap3r: Perhaps this is a learning moment to stop stringing along your ex/enabling the behavior/being codependent and maybe break off contact with your ex..?
drey0710: Oh absolutely, doesn't help that I've flown her out twice. 🤦♂️
pow3rdiap3r: I said codependent right? lol
| 4 | 3 | |
1659979282 | 1659980070 | t3_wjejy4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying expired orange juice
[deleted]
jeffinRTP: So you purchase a food item that has an expiration date and you don't use it till after it expires and you get upset at the store?
Moneyman0X: Not particularly about using it after the expiration date. If it had expired like a week ago, that’s my bad. I’m more annoyed that when I had bought it it had expired already and was still on the shelf to be sold.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1659981922 | 1659989320 | t3_wjfot2 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting assaulted by a microwave
[deleted]
twohedwlf: Man, those hoes sound vicious, maybe they'd be less mean if you let them out of the microwave?
ufaklik11: No, the door would no longer close then. I know hoe is also a synonym for a prostitute but I don't know any other word for it, Google translator suggests the word hoe.
thirdeyefish: As if no one ever had auto correct change a word on them or made a typo in a foreign language. I read it as it was originally and used context clues to figure out what you meant. Your English was not a problem.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1659983385 | 1659986067 | t3_wjgakb | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU when I asked my fianceé to share a secret
[deleted]
GandolfMagicFruits: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/wj65ux/tifu_when_i_asked_my_fianceé_to_share_a_secret/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
[deleted]: I swapped the genders to see how people respond don’t really care about upvotes this account was made about a hour ago and probably won’t be used after
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1659983322 | 1660136831 | t3_wjg9nx | t5_2to41 | 75 | cookiesarenomnom: TIFU by forgetting to close the door all the way
This happened yesterday and I still want to crawl into a hole and die. My job has just single bathrooms on different floors for us to use. Well yesterday I was getting changed at the end of my shift. I had realized I had just started my period so I needed to put a tampon in. Now the great thing is the toilets have bidets. Very nice when you're on your period. The door on this particular bathroom however has a knack of not closing all the way. So when you lock the door you have to make sure the door closes ALL the way. Which I always do, except yesterday, because the universe hates me. So I had taken all my clothes off but before I changed into my regular clothes, I went to pee and put a tampon in. So I'm on the toilet and all I have on is a bra with my panties around my ankles. And since I wanted to clean my lady bits with the bidet, I was in an weird squat moving around to make sure I was nice and fresh and clean all over. Cue the door opening and one of my male coworkers looks me dead in the eyes and screams "sorry!" and ran away. I don't think I can ever face him again. Please kill me.
TLDR: Forgot to close the bathroom door at work all the way, male coworker sees me on the toilet cleaning my lady bits in just a bra.
AcrobaticSource3: > one of my male coworkers looks me dead in the eyes
That’s not the only place he looked at you, I promise
GrindingNeverStops: Once again with the terrible comments. But I can tell the type of person you are by looking at your recent comments, not surprised
AcrobaticSource3: Thanks for the follow! But as I mentioned I will not be sending you feet pics, sorry :(
GrindingNeverStops: So that’s your go to response in this situation…? Lol. Never followed you, never messaged you either. If that is the case post some proof of that 😂. Seek help though, I’m sure no one wants you, and fyi, the “type of person you are” is some extreme feminist that believes men are always doing something sexual when they interact with woman. You aren’t special
AcrobaticSource3: Keep grinding
| 6 | 12.5 | |
1659984994 | 1660001378 | t3_wjgyll | t5_2to41 | 86 | hidden_from_bf: TIFU by getting drunk and telling my fiancé I don't want kids
So this happened last night, I got really drunk (rarely drink) and apparently told my fiancé I don't want kids.
Sober me is not 100% against kids, but I do see the pros and cons. And for me, personally, its a lot of cons (I think that'swhat drunk me was focused on). The time, effort, finances, sacrifices...etc. I'm just not ready for all that. I'm not saying it's impossible, maybe in the future I'll want 1 or 2. But I do see why drunk me apparently went off on one about why having children sucks. I have a kitten who I love and adore. Obviously I cater for him everyday, food, litten, toys..etc. I love him.
So today my fiancé tells me what I said last night and asked me when I changed my mind? As he thought I was always on board with wanting kids. He says he wants children, and he always envisioned our future with children. He thought were on the same page.
Honestly I'm not sure what I want atm. But I tried to explain that I'm neither for or against kids. If I have a child in the future, I'm happy. If I don't, I'm also happy. I think I can be happy with and without a child. I don't think I NEED a child to be happy with my life. He got quite upset at my explanation and now I'm not sure what to do. He said he'd call be after he finished work.
I love my fiancé, and we've been together for over 6 years now. We have spoken about children in the past (hypothetically) and so he always felt we'll have kids. But as I got older I just don't see the point anymore. I keep looking at the overall picture. Yeh they're cute at first, but they are a lot of work. Raising a child is not easy. I used to babysit children all the time. And yes, I loved the little munchkins, but eventually I was happy I could return them to the parents. Maybe I will love my own ones? I don't know. I'm not fully against the idea.
TLDR: I told my fiancé I don't want kids when I was extremely drunk. I don't remember the conversation, but he is now really upset about it.
UPDATE: Thank you everyone for the amazing advice! I finally got to speak to my fiancé and we had a long chat about it. We opened up about how we would want to parent. And I felt due to the terrible parents I was/am surrounded by, I wasn't sure if I knew how to raise my children correctly. We have agreed to do couples therapy and focus on parenting counselling. He still seems upset, but we are talking it out.
DarkAthena: Here's my advice: unless you know in your heart that you won't be happy unless you're a parent, don't have kids. If you believe you can live a happy life without them, then do so. Don't have one until you're ready, in your heart. I might get a lot of hate on this one, but there are so many kids with parents that are not fully invested in parenting.
Don't have kids to please your partner unless you're 100% sure that you want that partner in your life for the rest of your life. If you split up, will that partner be difficult to deal with or work with you for the sake of your kids? So many parents don't put their kids first.
hidden_from_bf: I was raised by 2 people who definitely should've never had children. And I am also surrounded by similar parents. I am just so put off parenting because of the parents I'm surrounded by. I'm 27 now and still think I'm better off single sometimes cos of my parents. But I do think I've found my soulmate here. I 100% agree with the split up thing. I explained to my fiancé that if we do have kids I'd need him to put more in. There's always a parent who does more. And in most cases that I HAVE seen, it's the mum. But I have seen rare cases where it was the dad. He keeps saying he will be that dad. But I just don't know.
DarkAthena: Start with a pet then. If he puts in the effort then it’s a good sign.
hidden_from_bf: I have a kitten, whom he loves. But everyone loves him! 😅
| 5 | 17.2 | |
1659974969 | 1660010775 | t3_wjcqpf | t5_2to41 | 26 | yellowvalentino: TIFU by blacking out
A couple of my friends and I (f19) decided to go to a festival overnight (meaning we would get there at 10 pm and leave at 5 am).
Everyone in the car on the way there pre-gamed so we wouldn’t have to pay for anything there (excluding the assigned driver of course).
This is where I messed up : I drank wayy to much.
I used to have a very high tolerance to alcohol however after an ED I have lost a lot of weight and now I apparently have no idea how much is TOO much for my body.
I remember arriving there and already feeling very drunk however I thought to myself that I’ll simply dance it out of my system.
About 45 minutes later I suddenly felt really sick and then complete blank.
Next thing I know I woke up in a hospital with a doctor yelling at me for how stupid I was and irresponsible and how she’ll call the police on me and make me pay a huge sum of money for her services.
I honestly have never been so scared in my entire life.
I had apparently blacked out hundreds of meters away from the festival and no one knows how I got there or why.
My friends were all rightfully worried after they realized that no one had seen me in hours. Thankfully that happened around the same time I woke up from my alcohol induced coma. This means that I answered relatively fast (thank god I had my phone on me and had apparently left my purse in the car).
Now this is the part that I feel extra guilty about : my friends had to go back to our original city (1 hour away) and then come pick me up when i was let go . Unfortunately on the way back they almost got into an accident and scratched the car on the side of the road. (which my friend is understandably very mad at me about).
I feel like such a loser and really needed to vent.
(PS a new doctor came around the morning and told me that they had no reason to call the police and that she wouldn’t make me pay that much money).
I fucked up big time.
TL;DR : drank too much alcohol and woke up in a hospital while my friends were all worried and scratched their car coming to get me .
SummerAndTinklesBFF: 19 is really young to have a “very high tolerance” to alcohol. It’s not really something to be proud of. A 19 year old blacking out is even more concerning. I hope that you use this as a point of reference in the future and a reminder not to go so hard. Some partying is normal but blacking out at 19 is not. Glad you’re safe.
Rebo2400: U would be surprised. I didn’t start drinking until 19 and my tolerance right away was almost on par with alcoholics. It’s absolutely awful. Some peoples bodies just work that way but yeah blacking out at that age is stupid
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1659986345 | 1660034292 | t3_wjhjc2 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by emailing someone on the internet
[removed]
Ayowolf: Was the story acc true because I just read it and that can't be real right??? It's so fucked
ThisKiwiKid: Link?
Ayowolf: [blowfly girl story](http://blowflygirl.blogspot.com/2009/08/here-is-my-maggot-story.html?m=1&zx=9378b248244f57df)
ThisKiwiKid: Hey yo wtf? I wish I didn’t read that
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1659984982 | 1660041405 | t3_wjgyel | t5_2to41 | 27 | letsbdecent: TIFU by going about being a better friend in all the wrong ways.
I(M23) recently learned that my best friend, Lauren (F26) was feeling excluded from our group of four friends. In the past she invited us over to her place multiple times, but she lives kinda far away (22miles) and always ends up driving to where we are.
So this Sunday we're all meeting up and I chatted with our mutual friend, Kate (F27) that we should all go over to Lauren's place and chill instead of her having to drive all the way to my place. Kate then tells me that Lauren has never actually invited us there and she thinks that Lauren doesn't mind driving and that we should all do what's usual and meet up at my place and then go out. I thought that was a weird response and called her out that we should put in effort and meet her once. I also chatted with our other friend Cory (M23) and he agreed with me.
Now Kate is mad and feeling like we're singling her out for being a bad friend when Lauren is the one who has made the choice to not want to become close friends with her. Then Kate asked "did you guys even ask her if she actually wants us to drive up there?" In my head I was thinking we would just surprise her and do this nice thing but I realized that maybe I should have asked her first. But me having my foot in my mouth said "yeah! Of course she wants us to come."
So I called up Lauren and told her our plans and she got really mad and asked why does everyone suddenly want to come over, and if I said something. Again, foot in my mouth, I said no, we just want to see what's up where she's at and check out the scene there.
After a really long conversation some bits of the truth came out. I think, and I don't know if this is completely true because none of it was said outright, so I'm just again making my own deductions, Lauren is embarrassed about where she lives and she lives there because it's more affordable than where I live (which is also where Cory and Kate live). She doesn't want anyone to come up and now I have to go and apologize to Kate without telling her the whole situation which will probably make Kate more distant with Lauren.
I told Cory about what happened and he said "oh man, you fucked up," and I agree.
I have now learned that I shouldn't just act on my own assumptions and try to fix things when my friends are venting.
Tldr: TIFU when intending to be considerate and wanting for my group of friends to be closer knit, I ended up driving two of my friends further apart.
Sm7th: Sounds like Kate knew
letsbdecent: I'm beginning to think she did. I've gone and apologized to Kate and Lauren. They said they're okay now, Kate is no longer upset with me and said she believes that I didn't intend any harm.
| 3 | 9 | |
1659989508 | 1659990882 | t3_wjiu02 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Ok_Gear_5398: TIFU by going to a party with the ex
[removed]
aggie_fan: TIFU by lying to your partner.
It is weird you lied after she called you out on the ring. If you're willing to lie about something like that, what other things are you lying about?
Ok_Gear_5398: Agreed hence me saying the damage was done.
| 3 | 3 | |
1659990506 | 1659992005 | t3_wjj8fq | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my neighbor think I'm a pervert
[deleted]
zombieqatz: NTA you were in your own car, acceptable place to adjust the bits.
serenview: Wrong subreddit
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1659991261 | 1659992446 | t3_wjjk6m | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by sexually assaulting my sister...
[removed]
smexytesticalia: It sounds like you may be too hard on yourself and are in need of healing. I strongly advise seeking therapy of some sort. Please be careful
[deleted]: I'm already in therapy but I'm scared that if I say something they'll report it...
smexytesticalia: Therapists only report if you are in danger of hurting yourself or others OR if a child is being actively abused. If this was in the past I believe you’ll be okay
[deleted]: Okay... Thank you, I'll talk to her next time about it
smexytesticalia: I strongly recommend getting off Reddit as well. You need proper psychological help
[deleted]: Why get off reddit?
smexytesticalia: Because you may not get the right advice you need. Vent to a professional. I’m not one myself
[deleted]: Okay, thank you so much for not judging, this has been on my chest for way too long...
| 9 | 5.111111 | |
1659990868 | 1660024012 | t3_wjje7k | t5_2to41 | 109 | CapitalSetting7310: TIFU by stopping an entire funeral procession.
I (F20) am literally not going to be able to sleep tonight. This was top 5 most embarrassing things that have ever happened to me.
Today I was walking to work, which is only a 3 minute commute. In our state, we have crosswalks where you push a button and it immediately blinks, signaling all cars on the road to stop and let you pass, by law.
I was almost at the crosswalk when I heard some distant sirens. The road I was about to cross was a lot busier than usual, but I figured there was an event going on in the area.
So I press the crosswalk button, and a few cars pass by me without stopping. “That’s rude,” I think. Finally, a car stops and I cross the street and give a thankful wave. There’s about 20 cars waiting for me as I walk, slowly, across the street.
It wasn’t until about 30 seconds later that it hit me. Not only did I make a huge line of grieving people stop and wait for my stupid ass to cross, I probably received some bad karma from the dead.
So, if you were one of those people, I’m sorry for your loss.
TL;DR Unknowingly crossed a street, stopping an entire funeral procession in its tracks.
hezzyfoofie: I don't understand the whole funeral procession thing. Like what's the point? Seems like unnecessary stress for everyone involved, trying to stick together, get through intersections, etc.
Nivekian13: To show all the people "mourning them", causing traffic.
&#x200B;
Everyone wants a death parade. I wish everyone did it New Orleans style.
Justhere2lurk2: Whats New Orleans style?
Espexer: You pay for it when you go to New Orleans, and it's just you, maybe if your friends were there, and the band you paid for the hour or two when you signed for the permit at the ticket booth up the street.
| 5 | 21.8 | |
1659992458 | 1659993225 | t3_wjk2hd | t5_2to41 | 13 | Thewack246: TIFU giving someone fuel for blackmail
So, I(M) fucked up today. I matched with a girl on a dating app and we started talking. She added me on instagram then said she wanted to video chat on WhatsApp. After a couple minutes of talking and showing some genitals. The call ended and they called me back playing a video of me. I realized it was blackmail and immediately blocked and reported them on all platforms. I changed my passwords and updated all my security settings. Now I am just freaking out. Looking back on it, there were plenty of hints that I should have seen. They didn't fully show the bottom of their face. She was not specific about where she lived. As soon as I hung up the call, they started sending some kind of media that I didn't wait to see what it was. I liked to think of someone that was smart enough to notice when I was falling into a trap. I feel like I am just waiting for a message from a friend saying there is a video of me that they found. I also set up a Google search alert to make sure that if something with my name gets posted I will be notified. Leave this here as a warning to everyone that nudity is always better in person.
TL;DR., got horny and showed way too much of myself to someone I didn't know. Then got threatened with blackmail.
P.s. Any cybersecurity advice is welcome. I am not sure if there is more that I can do other than changing my name and living off the grid.
ocdtrekkie: 1. More than likely, if you don't pay them, nothing more will come of it. There's basically no real value to carrying through with the threat, and most won't. They're looking for quick payouts and there's a ton of people who will pay up without even thinking about it. If you pay them, they can always come back for more later, you can't really make them delete the video if they want to, so there's no practical sense in trying to pay them even once. General advice for any online scam: Just hang up/power off the PC/do whatever they're telling you not to do, and it'll be fine.
2. Probably not a girl. Lot of guys overseas run this scam and they play prerecorded video they're very adept at matching the script of.
3. If the blackmail material gets out, it gets out. Nothing you can do to prevent it, so apart from knowing "it's not likely", there's not really any point in stressing about it. If it does get out, you just say you got scammed once, are embarrassed about it, and move on with your life. Nobody wants to watch you touch yourself and they're not going to want to talk to you about it again either.
Thewack246: I guess I accidentally did the right thing. Thanks for easing my nerves.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1659992855 | 1660065775 | t3_wjk8g4 | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a racist comment in front of my boyfriend
[deleted]
chrisbangss: I don’t know why everyone is saying you have to be intentionally racist to be racist — not true. Prejudice leads to a lot of people doing racist things without realizing what they’re doing. Don’t think that was the context here, but just adding that.
I can’t comment on whether your action was racist or not because I’m not Asian but as long as you openly acknowledged and addressed how it could look, you can let it go. Deal with the present discomfort and move on.
Nobody957: You just said the golden words for yourself - the context.
Racism is defined as hatred, prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or race of people on the foundation of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.'
Just like everything else, imitating an accent is not racist based on context it's being used in, and by that on that definition alone, it just doesn't fit. I've heard so many Americans imitate (my) British accent over the years, does that mean they're racist towards us British and our Tea n' Crumpets? Hell no.
chrisbangss: 1. American/British are nationalities, not races, so of course that isn’t racist.
2. I acknowledged that was not the context of the situation in my previous comment. I wanted to add it as I disagreed with other comments surrounding intentionality.
Nobody957: You know exactly what I'm getting at though. What if it were an 'African-American' doing it? If I walk down the road and put on an Indian accent to speak in, am I being racist? Because despite being white, my family originated from India. There are too many factors and variables to consider, and when you *do* consider them, you begin to realise how straight up fucking stupid these kinds of discussions are.
chrisbangss: If a Black person (I’m assuming that’s what you mean by African American in quotations…) were to make fun of an Asian accent, yeah, that would be racist. You’re not ethnically Indian or racially South Asian, so yeah, imitating an Indian accent could make people suspect you are racist.
I empathize with OP because this is an embarrassing situation. Doing something that’s offensive when it’s an accident and you don’t mean it is still embarrassing. OP knows they aren’t a racist person, so they can move on from this. It was a slip-up.
| 6 | -0.5 | |
1659993155 | 1660001918 | t3_wjkcuh | t5_2to41 | 174 | Icy-Presence-2498: TIFU By looking for people i may knows nudes
[removed]
Whale_Shark_16: Not sure if this is advertisement tbh
Thugalug: Ad for sure, he even linked the website as a comment.
Hay_Fever_at_3_AM: Why did OP go to *that particular* website to look for this acquaintance? The swingers site that it *just so happens* his parents use? Something's fishy.
Icy-Presence-2498: Wasn't looking for anyone in particular just heard about the site from a friend that it's good for finding a local fuck didn't know my mum was into that sorta stuff as she's single and has been for aslong as iv known
ProphetOfPhil: Hey if she's single and consenting then it's not really a problem. Kinda funny how you went out looking for someone you know and you got exactly what you were looking for lol
| 6 | 29 | |
1659996350 | 1660017458 | t3_wjlnj8 | t5_2to41 | 457 | WolfieSammy: TIFU by checking my phone at work
[removed]
ooooooooo10ooooooooo: The cook is right, John needs to mind his own damn business.
Chewbock: Yeah seriously WTF with telling everyone else too
HappyFamily0131: You know what kind of people kink shame?
*Boring* people.
Not just vanilla people. Plenty of vanilla people think kink is neat and just not for them. No: Boring, sucky, people are the ones who kink shame.
Secondborn1994: Some kinks should definitely be shamed
WolfieSammy: As long as kinks don't impact others, not really. Like I'd never do feet, but I'm not gonna judge. It doesn't impact my life if someone does it and I don't have to know or watch
Secondborn1994: I’m not talking about feet I’m talking about violent / sadistic kinks. People can have kinks that even if they can’t actually perform are definitely bad things to even think about
WolfieSammy: It was just an example
Secondborn1994: Your example entirely missed the point of what I’m saying.
| 9 | 50.777778 | |
1660000301 | 1660121246 | t3_wjn7xx | t5_2to41 | 4 | Mobesitas: TIFU for not asking
TIFU for not asking
Okay this is not big but I wanted to share it i(13m) Am on vacation in turkey as a Dutch guy with a Turkish background with my family and i am for context a fat guy 170lbs fat but my face looks quite good for my type like if you saw my face only you would think I’m skinny so you understand that most girls aren’t don’t want me but ok further with the story so I was swimming in the pool and there was this gorgeous skinny British girl and we made some eye contact but that’s it and then a few minutes later she was swimming in front of me en she was doing a bit “extra” like coming like a model out of the water and dancing in front of me and we made eye contact during the most of it and my dumbass thinks Like a hour later when eating did she hint or something cause yk very obvious eye contact and yk I have no skill with girl so my question is girls should I made my move???
Bye
TL;DR a girl made maybe obvious moves but I didn’t get it
mattrogina: Not really the best place to post this imo but I say go up to her and talk to her. Shoot your shot. Good luck.
Mobesitas: Ok I saw her today and had a chat buuuuuuut she had a bf so yk 😢 it’s okay I made a new friend
mattrogina: That’s okay dude. You’re young. I’m guessing this is one of the first times you’ve made the step and that means progress. And sometimes friends are better anyways. Most times friends are better to be honest. Good job.
Mobesitas: I want to thank you so much you gave me the courage to ask a girl
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1660002366 | 1660097779 | t3_wjo01u | t5_2to41 | 3 | StarCounterStayer: TIFU by accidentally being rude to someone with down syndrome
Unlike most TIFUs, this did happen today (shocker, right?)
Anyway, I (25M) was at the gym today. There is also another man (probably my age) who has down syndrome. He usually has a personal trainer who’s guiding him through the exercises. We apparently were using adjacent lockers today and there was only one bench. Naturally I had my stuff on the bench when he entered (I didn’t realize his presence until I turned because he entered the change room after me.) He unfortunately had to leave his bag on the floor, which I felt bad about. As soon as I was done, I said (not in a intentional rude tone) “You can keep your bag on the bench now, you know.” It wasn’t supposed to come out this way, I had totally thought of something else and said something completely wrong. He did say “Oh okay” but I think he looked clearly offended. He probably thinks I considered him stupid. Kinda like how Holly treated Kevin in The Office.
TLDR; Tried being nice to a guy in the gym with Down syndrome, ended up sounding rude.
Skoofer: That doesn’t seem overtly rude to me assuming your tone matched your intention. If you’re really concerned just talk to him and explain/apologize or whatever next time you see him, that’s what I’d do.
StarCounterStayer: Yeah, I’m gonna do that! Thanks!
| 3 | 1 | |
1660011054 | 1660058751 | t3_wjr54r | t5_2to41 | 1,298 | mistermissmistersir: TIFU by kicking my autistic uncle in the head qhile he was asleep
for a little background, i (17) and my family have been living with my grandparents, along with 3 of my uncles (17, 15, and 9) for a while, and i tend to sleep on the couch. my uncle (9), who we'll call jake, is autistic and will sometimes sleep on the couch as well (its a pretty big couch). jake takes comfort in knowing that somebody else is there when he's asleep so he usually touches me with his feet or lies down on mine. this doesnt bother me. i, however, didnt know about this when i first moved in, so when i woke up in the middle of the night to something on my feet, i instinctively tried to kick it off, not realizing it was him. he didnt wake up. he actually didnt really move at all tbh, but i felt so horrible after realizing what i had done. i have no clue how this kid is such a heavy sleeper, but im so glad that he is.
TL:DR i kicked my nine year old uncle in the head because he was alseep on my feet and i didnt know it what him.
gxddbou: Your uncles are that young? Who are you, Greg Heffley?
Charliebambi: Tbf my cousin's (40s) first kid is older than myself (25), simply because my aunt (68) had her quite young and my mum (66) didn't have me til quite late. Surely not that uncommon?!
rt58killer10: My brain cannot for the life of me comprehend this lmao
dizzyhobo: Some people have kids when they're younger, some have kids when they're older and some keep on having them.
[deleted]: And some do both! My dad had me at 26, got a divorce 13 years later, and now has a 2 year old at 46 with his new wife.
| 6 | 216.333333 | |
1660011003 | 1660011555 | t3_wjr4fx | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining an entire ice cream batch at work.
[deleted]
bunker931: Now here's the real question:
What was the white stuff you added in the batch? 😏
AcrobaticSource3: Let’s just say that OP’s boss *really* loves his job
bunker931: His love is quite salty.
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1660011076 | 1660079162 | t3_wjr5fp | t5_2to41 | 23,108 | blucyclone: TIFU during foreplay with my partner
This is still currently happening, we are just taking a break.
So my partner (26) and I (25) were getting in the mood to do the deed. I won't go into the specifics because this isn't a smut piece. It was all going really great and the deed was about to start. My partner got on top of me, took off her top and I started sucking her nipples. I was moving from boob to boob and we are both having a wonderful time. Now one of my partners nipples happen to be pierced. It has been pierced for a long time now and this has never been an issue. However, while I was enjoying said pierced nipple, I suddenly feel something small go into my throat. Yep you guessed it, the piercing. I started coughing like a mad man. Me and my partner like to mess with each other all the time (yes even during S... E... X) so she cracked up laughing until all of a sudden I started spitting phlegm into my partners face and body. I threw her off me and started coughing and spluttering on to the bed and thankfully out popped the bar. The issue was the ball was still in my throat.
This is where we come too now. I have never been very good at triggering my gag reflex, so, my partner offered to help. She stuck her fingers down my throat and up all my spew came (we are still on the bed mind you, it was all rather quick and panicky). Now here we are sitting and, digging through my vomit, trying to find the ball part of her piercing. I'm currently writing this because we are taking a quick break from all the trauma and I said to her this would make a great Reddit story.
TLDR: I swallowed my partners nipple piercing in foreplay and had her help me spew it up on the bed so we could find it.
Edit: We found it, cleaned it and put it back in the titty and then bought a new mattress.
Edit: OK there seems to be a bit of confusion. The ball was stuck in my throat and I had to evacuate it. I vomited on the bed cause I was in panic mode. Also thanks for the suggestion of a mattress protector, we are gonna buy one tomorrow.
adinfinitum225:
>I won't go into the specifics because this isn't a smut piece.
..
>My partner got on top of me, took off her top and I started sucking her nipples. I was moving from boob to boob
Bim_Jeann: Lmaoo I was gonna comment about that also. “I’m not gonna go into detail…” *proceeds to go into extreme detail*
Edit: guys, my use of “extreme” is hyperbole, y’know, to make a joke…didn’t know how offended some of you would get by a comment that is clearly a joke. Get help.
Borderline_deviant: Is that extreme detail? Oh, you sweet summer child...
"I covered her boob in kisses, before licking my way towards the center and her nipple. I massaged her tit, sucking her entire areola into my mouth and playfully nibbled on her nipple. My tounge danced around the nub, and I felt my way around her piercing, a source of pride and joy for us both, when a small piece suddenly detached itself, and I felt it entering my throat..."
MrSnugglez22: I'm tempted to make this even more flowery with romance novel spice.
creepyflyer: You gotta use the word "member" somewhere in there then
Edit: forgot a space
Tivaala: Throbbing member. I don't think I've ever seen it written where it wasn't throbbing.
MrSnugglez22: Turgid is probably the only other pairing adjective that really suits it, but both will get the point across pretty well lmao.
Tivaala: Well you're clearly reading better quality smut then i am :p turgid is a great word but well above the pay grade of my day to day tat.
MrSnugglez22: Oh I know some horny weirdos that write it on the daily, they're always outdoing themselves on the descriptions 😅
No-Yoghurt8157: As I was thinking of said word or looking for it in the comments. Throbbing member and Turgid only ever reminds me of the movie Ten Things I hate about you, principal/counselor writing her novel lol.
CNorm77: Forget the novel. His question about "beer flavored nipples" was enough for me.
| 12 | 1,925.666667 | |
1660012639 | 1660020044 | t3_wjrpwx | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU By accidentally being a racist..
[deleted]
Ephidiel: Imagine crying with 14 downvotes
Corey3500: If my comments don't get any I fell sad lol nothing better than being opposed lol
Present-Concert5153: If Reddit gets mad, you know you’ve done something right.
Corey3500: Hell yeah haha
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1660016094 | 1660029842 | t3_wjswce | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by going braless for my vaccine
[deleted]
SmittyManJensen_: Surprised this story didn’t end with “check out my onlyfans”
Dark_Jester: That's her bio.
JimmiRustle: Link pls. For educational purposes obviously.
Dark_Jester: I don't remember what their username was. But don't worry, you aren't missing out.
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1660016122 | 1660017570 | t3_wjswoa | t5_2to41 | 10 | Witty_Frosting3432: Tifu by ruining a depressed persons business and now getting sued
[removed]
bowlofjello: You’re suing her because she said mean things to you, and she’s suing you because you and other people quit?
That doesn’t even make sense. I don’t think it’s going to go anywhere.
Ratzink: Pretty sure op is suing for not getting paid. I could be wrong though.
bowlofjello: That makes a little more sense.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1659997652 | 1660028711 | t3_wjm65m | t5_2to41 | 4 | Constant_Mess4827: TIFU by using a language exchange app
There isn’t exactly a certain fuck up “event” but rather a combination of small to moderate FUs, thus creating a long lasting cringe effect.
So I have never spoken English out loud before, and I decided it was about time I do that. Not the best idea for someone with crippling social anxiety. I joined one of the chat rooms and when people went quiet I asked them about their hobbies. A girl told me “yeah umm… that’s what we were talking about actually” i was going shitshitshit inside, but outside, I kept saying oh I’m so sorry for like 4 times with different combinations. Everything was going rather smoothly after that, until I forgot the word “broadcast” and tried to get to the same meaning with like 7 different sentences and in the end I forgot what I was even talking about. (There were about 20 other people listening to me murdering the english language in the chatroom)
Anyways, there was another girl in the chatroom and she was the one asking questions and carrying the conversation basically. While I was in the process of responding to one of her questions she just left. LMAO. I feel like I annoyed her so much she couldn’t put up with me anymore and left. She was a nice girl too, it didn’t take me long to make even nice people get annoyed at me. I am in no way blaming anyone here btw, everyone is free to do anything they want after all. So anyways when she left, there were me, some other guy who only spoke like 4-5 words at most, and two other people who remained quiet from the start. There was a super awkward silence going on so I asked said guy about what he does in his free time. FUCK MEEEE where are we, in kindergarten trying to make friends? He said something but his voice was super low so I couldn’t really hear him. I asked him to repeat himself for like 2 times while panicking internally and the guy was already super reluctant to speak so his voice was getting even lower each time. I was dying inside at this point because I was trying my best to understand him and my brain was using all 5 of its neurons. In 3 seconds or so I came up with a BRILLIANT/s idea. I said “Hey I think my internet is dead rn. Can you hear my voice??” He obv responded with yes I can. I then immediately exited the chat room, threw my phone on my bed and ran around our coffee table in an effort to forget my stupid awkwardness. I’m still cringing. If face palm was a person it’d be me.
On the bright side, no info I gave to that app is true, which means it’s not exactly my fault but my virtual profile’s, so that makes me feel a little better. But still, cringe.
TL;DR I used a language exchange app and got in a chat room, ended up embarrassing myself with my legendary language/social skills.
Corrugated_Boxes: English is my first language and I forget the word for teleportation like every time I need to use it 😅 so don’t beat yourself up over that kind of stuff because it happens to everyone.
I’m sorry that you had a bad first experience with the app, but since it’s a virtual profile, maybe give it a go a few more times to get some more practice in and feel more comfortable with it. Also if the girl didn’t want people to respond to her questions, she shouldn’t have asked them or had more patience when you were answering, just leaving was rude. I can promise that those people forgot all about the situation by now 🤗
Constant_Mess4827: Thank you so much for your comment, it made me feel a lot better 🌼
I think I’ll try the app again and if I can’t make it work, I’ll just nuke the acc and create a new one lol
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1660017046 | 1660020975 | t3_wjt7dz | t5_2to41 | 43 | Sad_Experience_7843: TIFU for messing with my brother while watching Naruto
TLDR: 1. A year ago I chose to tease my brother cause he watches Naruto
2.I taught my brother to not be bullied
3.He combined the two in the worst way possible.
Pre-story;
So my (24m)little brother who I’ll occasionally refer to as tiny(11) decided to get into anime and he by chance got into Naruto. (Okay anime def not highest tier anime) Well I wanted to deter him from the show and scare him with the thousand years of death Jutsu(look it up) and act like I’d get him. (I’d never get him cause of the nature of the move it’s literal abuse.)
Least to say it didn’t deter him from the anime. It only riled him up when his friends would anime fight he’d do it most the time failing…
My brother is a shy kid and quit calling him Tiny with recent bullying to change his mentality. I taught him to stand up for himself with his size and how to use smart words cause intimidation is a tool when used well… (he’s as tall as some teens at 11 being 5’4” but we’re broad like he’s about 2.5 why I call him Tiny is cause he’s anything but)
Today:
Now my mom Tiny his friends and I all chose to go to the pool today and they were anime fighting. I’d have to get mad at Tiny to stop doing the thousand years of death. Cause this is literally assault and I’m not okay with it.
Now two teenagers decided to start messing with my brother and his friends they were about half a foot taller than my brother together and they wanted to fulfill the fantasy of being bullies to the shorter weebs at the pool. Normally they would have got them but As explained before Tiny wasn’t gonna let them bully him and his friends… my brother walked up touting his chest said “you’re calling me short?” To the smallest of them (which was maybe 2 inches taller) the teen stood over Tiny. He said “yeah what you gonna do about it” my little brother got this smile that I could only equate to Jirayia’s and said “turn around” well least to say the kid turned around foolishly and my brother GOT HIM. My mom and I watching the altercation we were preparing to jump in but when Tiny got him we almost died laughing uncontrollably. My brother became nearly a fat 200 pound cannon ball moving like his life depended on it while evading his friends my mom and I all laughed at these kids… to the point my mom and I were crying.
Least to say, I had to tell my mom where he learned that and instead of being a proud big brother I have to be occasionally scolding him about it all day.
(Message to Tiny if he become s a redditor: If you ever find this Tiny that was wrong but still I’m a little proud of you)
merganzer: Wtf did I just read.
Dallenforth: Fanfiction
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1660020886 | 1660199867 | t3_wjue1g | t5_2to41 | 662 | DumpsterPuff: TIFU by buying my wife a pill box
My wife (32F) and I (28M) both have various chronic illnesses, and we take roughly the same amount of medications each, morning and night.
We both have ADHD thrown into our chronic illness mix. Because of this, I keep all of my meds In a pill box and fill it up every Sunday. I've been doing this for years and it's very rare for me to miss any of my medications.
Wife, on the other hand, keeps all of her vials of meds in a cardboard box, including ones she doesn't take anymore, and take them one by one. She'll get distracted sometimes while she's doing this, so she either will take the same med twice or skip one by accident (far more likely to skip by accident though).
I kept telling her that she really should have a pill box to avoid missing meds or taking doubles. She told me she would get one but kept forgetting. Finally, last week I happened to be at the pharmacy and there was a pill box on clearance - which happened to be the exact same one that I own.
I gave it to her to have her fill it up since it was Sunday, and to just have her try it out and see if it helps. I worked in pharmacy for a while so I also helped her get rid of some stuff she doesn't take, especially since a lot of it looks similar to other meds she IS taking and could potentially interact.
Starting around Tuesday, I suddenly started to feel like shit. Like absolute garbage. I felt bloated, I was peeing a lot, and I was having tachycardia episodes that were far worse than normal for me. I kept having this awful electro-like feeling buzzing around in my brain.
I texted her that I was feeling like crap, and she also replied back saying that she also felt like shit. At this point I was freaked out that we might have some sort of weird reaction or disease or *something* going on, because it was strange that we were both having these very odd symptoms.
On Thursday, she texted me saying that she had this weird rash and that she felt like she had a fever. I hadn't left for work yet and I went over to my pill box on the counter to take my meds, and I opened it up and saw that my Thursday morning pills weren't there. I was confused and opened up the other pill box next to it, thinking I had grabbed the wrong one. There were meds in there, but didn't look quite right. I stared at them for a second and realized that while very, very similar, the box I was holding with pills still inside of it was hers, and she had taken my medications.
Suddenly everything made sense. Our med quantity AND the meds themselves look almost exactly the same, down to the shapes and colors of the pills. I realized that we've had several days where since the boxes were right next to each other, we weren't paying attention and took each others meds a few days that week.
Then I realized what her rash could be.
I take a drug for bipolar disorder called lamotrigine. There's a warning for the drug for a potential deadly reaction called Steven Johnsons Syndrome, which is where your mucous membranes just go to all hell and you die if you don't get it treated. You have to start that med low and titrate very slowly to reduce the risk of this rash. I take ten times the starter dose.
I called my wife and told her to get to the hospital NOW, and that we had fucked up and taken each others meds. She went to the ER and I rushed over there myself, told them what happened. Thanfully she was able to get it treated before it became a deadly emergency, and she was discharged on Friday. We were so traumatized by the situation that she tossed her pill box in the closet, bought one that looks vastly different than mine, and refused to put it on the counter.
For all the medical people out there who want to know how badly we effed up our bodies with the drugs we take:
I take lamotrigine, lithium, desvenlafaxine, pitilosant, dextroamphetamine sulfate, and diltiazem.
She takes estrogen, spironolactone, escitalopram, Adderall, and buspirone.
0/10, do not recommend.
TL;DR: Tried to help my wife with med compliance issues by getting her a pill box that looks the same as mine. We both take roughly the same amount of pills and they look almost exactly the same. We took each others meds by accident and she ended up in the hospital to treat a deadly skin rash caused by one of the meds I take, and I took her titty skittles (aka estrogen and spironolactone) that effed up my body.
SpacemaniaXu: This must not be Canadian pills because I know what those look like up here and... they absolutely do not look similar. I mean, Lamotrigine up here is in the shape of a shield, there are only two others with that shaoe and they are dramatically different from each other.
I also recommend labeling them with names and add one absurd-shapped supplement to make it extra identifiable.
Still... no wonder you both felt like crap. Absolutely lucky and fortunate that her Lamotrigine reaction didn't get severe.... hopefully she had good dreams...? *my side effect from it*
stauer88: I can promise you the lamotrigine come in all shapes and sizes.
I take 125mg - so 1x 100mg and 1x25mg
Every other week my chemist changes the brand they use so I constantly see the varying degrees of shapes and sizes.
For example,
First week
100mg - large round
25mg - small caplet shape
Next week
100mg - large caplet shape
25mg - small round
Next week
Shield shapes for both.
Not gonna lie, the weeks where they reverse the shapes and sizes confuse me the most!
SpacemaniaXu: I don't doubt that, hense why my comment is for 'Canadian' as the four generics that I've had stocked over the years have all had the same pattern, just variations of color and size.
sweetreverie: That’s because Lamotrigine is manufactured widely across various generic brands in a shield shape 99.9% of the time INTENTIONALLY to avoid dumbass mistakes like OP’s
It’s one of the only drugs that has that shape— actually, I think it might be the *only* one.
SpacemaniaXu: Simvastatin is 5 sided but it's point is more pronounced
Cyclobenzaprine is five sided byt has theirs far more blunted
Dexamethasone is equally spaced 5 sides.
Overall 5 sided tabs are rare, but exist. I think there is at least one more but I can't recall
sweetreverie: I have never seen simvastatin or cyclobenzaprine in either of those shapes and I’ve seen at least 10 generics for each type.
SpacemaniaXu: Google in image:
Teva Simvastatin
Teva Cyclobenzaprine
PMS Dexamethasone
Again, I said similar in concept but still different. To our eyes the difference is clear. To the consumer who doesn't pay attention? Basically the same. I've had far too many patients that I had to sit down and re-educate because of medication confusion, far more than I originally anticipated when I started. At least once a month I encounter an individual who does something that utterly breaks my brain and has me ask myself how has this person not killed themselves yet.
DumpsterPuff: I like how Xarelto looks like little ninja stars. I wish more drugs were shaped like that!
Those stupid trapezoid-shaped trazodone 150mg tabs though, oh man. Idk how the fuck people could even swallow those!
SpacemaniaXu: Uncoated tablets are worst for me. The taste....UGH
| 10 | 66.2 | |
1660022626 | 1660034342 | t3_wjuwwg | t5_2to41 | 92 | [deleted]: Tifu by using technology
[removed]
Roy-van-der-Lee: Commenting to see the dance
Never-Be-Bored: It’s https://gfycat.com/mintygrayindri - which honestly isn’t that bad. Could have been a lot worse
| 3 | 30.666667 | |
1660023049 | 1660039766 | t3_wjv1fs | t5_2to41 | 55 | Gatorsforthiscreator: TIFU by helping my coworker create a Snapchat account.
So, my coworker Jenn (35f) came to me last week asking how all these girls my age (23f) find “cute filters” I told her most likely Snapchat. She replied “well I want to use them! But I hate social media.” I told her she could always make an account and just not add anyone. She asked me to help her set it up, so I of course obliged. No harm in helping her, right?
So I set up the account for her and show her how to use it, then we go about our business… until tonight.
Jenn texts me and goes “Hey… did you tell your boyfriend (whom has no idea she even exists) to add me on Snapchat?”
We text back and fourth after I tell her no and she sends me proof he did in fact add her, two days ago.
This is a very obvious set boundary in my relationship. Neither of us would want the other adding random people on Snapchat, of all platforms, of the opposite sex - who we don’t know.
So, when he got home tonight I wanted to ask him about it. Something in me didn’t want to believe he did that. I trust him. My thoughts shuffled through different excuses he could have but none of them made sense. She had no friends on there. How could he possibly add her ?
So, I began with telling him I trust him and love him but I just have to ask, how and why he added a random female who he doesn’t realize happens to be my coworker?
Turns out two days ago he saw a suggested friend pop up through his contacts. It was my name. He told me he added it and thought at first I had some secret side account. I questioned why he wouldn’t have asked me about it when it happened, he said “because I came to my senses. I trust you”
The fuck up is that I accidentally entered my phone number while setting up her account. Anyone who has my phone number and their contacts synced to their Snapchat would get an add suggestion with my name attached.
On the bright side we both know how to communicate and neither of us at any point made a single accusation against another.
TL;DR ; my boyfriend added my coworker on Snapchat without knowing I knew and was the one who set up the account.
Brandanpk: Should probably give your co-worker a heads up about this FU
Gatorsforthiscreator: She knows
| 3 | 18.333333 | |
1660027499 | 1660047608 | t3_wjw9dl | t5_2to41 | 139 | SpecificWillingness9: TIFU by taunting my cat
To set the stage —
I (30F) knew nothing about cats last year and adopted one. I know. This is an F up a year in the making.
To further set the stage, I missed the whole cat craze online; I didn’t know about the fact that cats are typically a-holes, they knock things over for fun, and are generally all around menaces. I grew up with dogs my whole life, thought cats were very much the same. (I know, what kind of irresponsible pet owner adopts without doing any research….I know….)
But somehow, I end up with this kitten. And the first thing I realize was that she’s genuinely smart. So smart she makes my dog look like an idiot (although to be fair, he isn’t that smart of a dog either, very sweet tho).
So what did I do?
I realize I can harness this intelligence — I could train her. And so this tiny, six pound ball of fluff…I started having her hang on doors.
Just for fun. Then I’d pull it, show her the “secrets” inside. She had a blast.
She would start jumping on doors, hanging on them on her own. I’d cheer her on. Give her a minnow. F’ing idiot.
Because then the chaos started.
Literally no room was safe — my attic, my bedroom — the cat went wherever she wanted. I came back one time from a two day vacation and thought she broke my water heater….nothing was safe, except she couldn’t get through locks.
Which was a real pity for her, because she absolutely loves the outdoors (she’s an indoor cat, but I let her outside with supervision). She loves it so much that anytime the dog went outside without her, she would immediately whack my 40 pound dog in the face (no nails at least, but poor dog).
Suffice to say, neither I nor my dog could be in the backyard without her losing it. And, I can’t leave a free roaming, tiny black cat outside without expecting her to run off and transition to outdoor cat. If I lived in a safe neighborhood fine, but I have run across more than a couple of sad instances with pets, so it’s not a good idea in general for her to be roaming my particular streets.
Now here’s the problem — I have a hot tub in the backyard. A hot tub I very much enjoy winding down the evening with. One that I cannot enjoy through going into my backyard because then the cat will (and has) followed me out through pushing open the door and ripping the mesh divide.
So what I have taken to doing is going out through my front door (which I can lock with a key, whereas my back door just has an inside-only sliding lock) and then circling back to my backyard.
For some reason though, today I decided I was feeling especially petty with the cat (after she had done some typical cat destroying behavior), and decided I would get revenge.
So I walked up to my back door and knocked on it — catching the cat’s attention.
Initially I was delighted because man, cat was pissed.
Ran over and practically slammed herself against the door. Meowing, scratching at it, overall raging mad that she couldn’t get out. She shoved herself against the door frame (which would normally open it), but it didn’t budge. Because it was locked from the inside.
So I laughed to myself, my thirst for revenge duly sated. And spent a glorious 25 minutes in the hot tub.
Of course, then it went to hell.
When I got out — I noticed a thin strip of light. And that’s when my stomach dropped and I knew — I ran, practically slipping on the stone and saw…the door was opened, cat was gone.
There went the rest of my evening as I then spent the next 30 minutes — dripping wet and terrified — running around and half screaming this jerk’s name at 9 pm.
Eventually I found her, mewing and rolling around in front of some dumpsters.
Eventually I wrangle her into a bag and drag her home.
I lock the doors (not before testing if it was a coincidence she got out…spoiler, it wasn’t).
And now here’s the problem — she can open locked doors too.
All because I tried to get revenge on a cat.
Now I’m stuck with figuring out how to switch out my back door or dead bolt it or something, and I really don’t want to think about how much that’s going to cost.
TLDR; I decided to get revenge on my inside-only cat by taunting her outside a locked door. She got mad and figured out how to unlock it. Now I have no way of keeping her inside unless I change my locks.
EDIT: I just want to clarify — I knew nothing about taking on a cat when I got a cat. But I have made a lot of strides since then (though clearly some room to improve). The cat has a collar, a harness, is leash trained and microchipped. Also, the bag described above is actually a cat carrier — I didn’t stop to towel myself off, but I did stop to grab her transporter-thing.
OrangeUParticular: Getting revenge on your pet is pretty messed up. This cat only understands that it wants to go outside and you taunt it. Also, cats do not transition to being an outdoor cat. Once they are indoor domesticated animals, and if they get out and lost they continue to look for safety and shelter. They never return to feral.
Please get your cat microchipped and a collar at minimum. And read about cat behavior. You adopted this animal, it relies on you and deserves better.
SpecificWillingness9: Hi there,
You seem to have made a few different assumptions about my post — I get I used some inflammatory language (like revenge, and pissing off the cat), but at the end of the day it was meant to be a light hearted story about messing up
1) she has a collar (and a harness)
2) she has a microchip (but be honest, who checks the microchip of an outdoor black cat, I’ve run into a few too many that have been hit)
3) the collar is breakaway and she will not stay in it for any longer than a couple of hours
4) I clearly know she shouldn’t be an outside cat, or I wouldn’t have run off to look for her at 9 pm
5) she’s clearly young (I describe her as a kitten when I got her a year ago), so this isn’t an adult cat that I lost temporarily
judeeet: Yeah that dude made it seem like you abused the cat. Cat people aren’t very fun
| 4 | 34.75 | |
1660030591 | 1660045795 | t3_wjx2sd | t5_2to41 | 9 | liquipsy: TIFU by not reading basic directions
I went to hang out with one of my best friends from high school who I've recently gotten back I'm contact with for a little wine and a face mask/spa night/trash reality TV all while we plan my wedding party. Awesome night right? I put on a face mask that leaves my face a little dry and my friend hands me this mask that sounds like a fantastic moisturizing solution.
Superfruits, avocado, olive oil. Generic sounding of course but for a basic girls night why not? I apply this moisturizing superfruit mask and feel like it's seeping in to my skin but not really hydrating it. Whatever, my skin is dry.
So I keep applying more of this stuff and my friend comes back in and goes, uhm why does your face look like that and why did you put so much on? I go to the mirror and realize my face is very red and this stuff I put on my face is actually making me break out quite a bit. Friend looks at the label and realizes I put a hair mask (deep conditioner) all over my face.
I try to wash it off, it doesn't come off. I have washed and dried my face 3 times now and it's still a Slattery pool of grease and my skin feels like it's suffocating.
Oh fun fact, I work as an admissions representative at a college and have to meet with hundreds of students at a major event tomorrow.
TL;DR today TIFU by not reading directions on beauty products and I am now a tomato
OrangeUParticular: I keep thinking of noxema - it removes make up so might help with the goup, and is cooling and skin calming for sunburns and the like. No matter what, best of luck to you.
hubuhodle: alternative if this doesnt work, you can remove your face
| 3 | 3 | |
1660037421 | 1660069458 | t3_wjyusb | t5_2to41 | 1,730 | Far-Hat3075: TIFU not checking the exam room before a final exam
This happened when I was in college.
Went in the usual classroom for a Chemistry final exam.
When I entered, it was pretty busy. But I thought it was normal as people were just settling in.
Everyone already got their exam papers, so I went to the front to get mine.
I was kind of confused when the instructor said, "good luck, you have 5 minutes left", while chortling.
Then I realized that people weren't settling in, they were finished and handing in their papers.
"Did I just miss the final exam which carries 30% of the course grade?" I thought to myself.
I sat down and was about to burst into tears, until I looked at the paper and realized it was for a different course!
Mine was moved to the next room and wouldn't start in another 15 minutes. Almost got a heart attack 😅
No wonder I have never seen this instructor before. I thought he was one of the teaching assistants. Or maybe he was standing in. But now it's clear he's just an instructor for a different class.
Tldr: I went in to my usual classroom to take a final exam, not realizing it had been moved to another room. Thought I missed the final exam when it actually hadn't started. Gave myself a panic attack for no reason.
Konkuriito: my university checked ID when you entered and locked the door when the exam started. They don't do that in college? Doesn't that mean anyone could enter and write your test for you?
Far-Hat3075: Some classes make you place your ID on your desk before they hand you the paper, some check your ID when you hand in the paper, especially if they don't recognize you.
I don't remember classrooms ever being locked. What if you had to go to the restroom? Or if there was a fire and you need to evacuate? And when students are done they can hand in their paper and leave.
Also, just to clarify, the class was about 200+ people, with 1 instructor and many teaching assistants.
So it's probably hard for the instructor to remember every student in his class, which was why he thought I was a student of his and let me take the exam paper.
I didn't recognize him either, but then I thought he could be a stand in, or one of the teaching assistants for another lab section.
Also, this was happening 5 minutes before that exam was about to finish, so it was pretty busy with people leaving etc.
SandInTheGears: If people can show up so late what's to stop the kind of student who blitzes through exams from just leaving really early and telling all the info to someone about to come in late?
HazardousThunder: Well, if the school finds out it’s bad. Otherwise, it would only be about what the first student can remember and how fast they each work.
Honestly, it would never really work. There usually would not be even close to enough time for one student to take the test, even speeding through, then go give all questions/answers to another student, and then that student goes and finishes. There just wouldn’t be enough time in like 95% of tests
SandInTheGears: Ok, not with a pair of normal students and not with, ya know, *all* the info
Now maybe there's a difference in exam structure or maybe we were just doing different kinds of subjects but I'd say most of the college exams I was in there was usually a handful of people finishing up by the half way mark
Maybe one of them goes out, meets up with someone who needs help more than the full time and tells them the keys facts they need. Stuff Like: "Memorize these 7 things and write them down the second you get in, then use this formula here and here, then just put down what you remember from last Tuesday here"
Or a student who knows they're screwed anyway could just throw in the towel after like ten minuets and tell some rich kid what they need to review, for like, money and junk
Or even without any planing, what if one of the blitzers runs into a classmates who's gotten the time wrong and is just hanging out near-by? They've got the perfect opportunity to give them some inside info and review that part of their notes
HazardousThunder: Well sure those things could happen. Nearly all of my exams are a 1 hour block except for finals, which we have different rules for anyway cus finals.
For regular tests/quizzes, at least my school and the schools my friends go to, it really would not be feasible unless the first student is prepared to fail, probably for money like you mentioned.
It’s certainly possible, but to be completely honest it wouldn’t be worth it if they both have to take the same time slot as there are better ways of cheating imo if you are going to cheat anyway.
SandInTheGears: Oh ok the 1 hour thing might be key, think all my finals were at least 2 hours sometimes 3
Still though, allowing someone to just show up whenever seems like a weird policy to me
HazardousThunder: My finals were around that time, like 2-3 hours, but teachers do not allow students in to take finals after about the first 10 minutes or so if the start of the test, at least for my school. I wouldn’t be allowed in an hour after the test most likely and would probably have to try and reschedule or take it early.
There would certainly be ways of doing it, but I would think only at certain schools and with certain professors.
| 9 | 192.222222 | |
1660038747 | 1660040632 | t3_wjz7d4 | t5_2to41 | 22 | Dailaster: TIFU sleeping with my boyfriend
Out of all things to be bad at, I'm bad at sleeping. I have a hard time falling asleep, and when I do I sleepwalk and -talk all the time. Ever since I've started sleeping together with my bf it's been a little better, in that he usually keeps me in bed and makes sure I properly go to sleep again quickly. He's gotten very good at dealing with me, until one particular night I showed him he better stay on his toes.
The first thing I remember was having a great time in my half conscious mind, straddling my lovely boyfriend and full blown making out with him. Tongue and groping included. Apparently Westworld, which we had been watching that week, left a bit of an impression, cause I learned close to his ear and seductively whispered "I would mind if you were a robot". My bf made some vague attempts at responding, half kissing back, half confused by this sudden sexual assault. Then my sleep-brain remembered that we, responsible adults, can't be doing freaky stuff on a work night! I rolled off of him, told him "goodnight" and passed out, leaving the poor boy awake, confused, and aroused.
The friends I've told now think I have a robot kink, and that my bf will at some point surprise me with some sexy metallic bodypaint. I swear my robot comment was intended as reassurance that "even if you were a robot, I'd still love you".
My boyfriend fully recovered, and I think he's secretly waiting for round 2.
TL;DR My sleepwalking brain had a quick make out session with my sleeping bf, had confusing feelings about robots, and fell back asleep, leaving my bf awake, aroused and confused.
Weak_Jeweler3077: You can't muck around on a work night?
That's some next level BS!?
Dailaster: I know that, but sleep-brain disagrees. I think I actually said "ooh, you have to wake up early..." or something. Sleep-brain is a party pooper :(
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1660040861 | 1660248550 | t3_wjzso3 | t5_2to41 | 1,845 | itzflashx7: TIFU by accidentally kicking a kid
So this happen to me yesterday, I was in a public toilet doing a number two when a father and his two kids were in the stall next to mine. I was just sitting there minding my own business when all of a sudden a small toy falls over into my stall. I hear one of the kids scream my toy fell onto the other side as the the father tells him to wait patiently and he’ll get it. As soon as I saw the toy I was going to wait to give it to them as it was a bit out reach but the kid started crying so I thought I’d be nice and just kick it over to them. So once I stood up to try and kick it to them, at the same time the kid sticks his head under the stall over to my side to try and get the toy and I end up kicking the kid in the face. He stays on the floor crying saying that the man kicked me in the face. The father of the kid bangs on wall between us and starts screaming at me asking why I had kicked his son. I nervously tried to explain to him what had happen and then he calmed down and said sorry for the disruption. After all that I finally was able to take a dump in peace.
TL;DR tried to be nice and give a kid back his toy and end up kicking him in the face
GrimmauldPlace12: A lady kicked my daughter in the face on purpose when my daughter stuck her head under the stall. She was like 3 and wanted to say hi. The lady said "get out of here" and kicked her in the face! I couldn't believe she did that. I didn't even have the chance to tell my daughter to get back in our stall or anything.
jro2020: Maybe if you weren't a horrible parent you would have already taught your kid at home not to pop in on people in the bathroom.
GrimmauldPlace12: Oh the horrible one is me? Not the person who purposefully kicked a child? Toddlers are curious ffs. It's not like it was my teenager peeking.
whatalongusername: I am not going to ask for an ID or the age of someone putting their head inside my bathroom stall. Head shows up -> Boot to the head.
GrimmauldPlace12: There's a clear difference between a 3 year old and a teenager 🙄
wmdkitty: Doesn't matter, you don't let them peek under the stall at any age!
GrimmauldPlace12: I didn't "let" her. I was wiping my ass and she got kicked before I even had a chance to tell her no 🙄
jro2020: What part about you should have taught her that already you keep saying she was three not freaking two, is your kid developmentally delayed if so Then you should have accounted for that. Either way you are bad at parenting.
| 9 | 205 | |
1660041542 | 1660128392 | t3_wjzzod | t5_2to41 | 234 | is-it-realy-leveled: TIFU by sitting on the couch
Today me (16M) and a friend of mine (16F) decided to hang out at her place. For context er parents get realy annoied when she leaves her shoes at the entrence.
We bought some pizza and decided to eat it at her place than watch some TV after. We get to her place and ate the pizza before finaly sitting on the couch and watching some TV shows. At some point she takes off her bra and trows it on the coffee table in front of us cause it was uncomfortable. Some time later we hear her parents car pull in the driveway. She realized that she left her shoes at the entrence so she runs to place them in the cabinet they use for shoes while i sit on the couch and keep watching tv. She tries to rub back but trips on the coffee table and falls over me on the couch. So now here we are one over another with her bra on the coffee table as her parents get inside.
TL;DR parents get inside to see two teens over each other on the couch
Ayowolf: Wow your friend must be so comfortable to PUT HER BRA ON THE TABLE IN FRONT OF YOU
is-it-realy-leveled: I mostly dont give a fuck and she knows i dont give a fuck
Ayowolf: Bro I need a guy friend like you😔
roadhogplayer: He just wants some, there’s no guy friends like him. Unless not straight. Lol
Blazegunnerz: Uh, thats a no chief. Its called not being a fucking incel creep who just thinks about tits constantly. Its really not that hard my guy.
roadhogplayer: can tell you’ve never touched a boob since you used incel lmao
Blazegunnerz: Oh no, some internet guy who thinks touching a tit is everything is making unsubstantiated claims im so sad
roadhogplayer: Nice further prove your a nerd, thanks for the help!
Blazegunnerz: Tell that to the ratio
| 10 | 23.4 | |
1660049288 | 1660051440 | t3_wk2gi9 | t5_2to41 | 14 | meatandpotaters: TIFU by going on a date with my ex
I'm moving out soon and looking for apartments. My ex and I dated for 9 years but broke up about a year ago and I told her to never speak to me again. I blocked her and removed her from every service I could have imagined but forgot one.
She saw me listening to Astrid by Glaive on my Spotify because that's a thing apparently and text me out of the blue teary eyed and seeming like she wants to reconnect. We began talking again on and off for the last few months and I'm targeting in exactly what apartment I'm going to be renting and.... She's a concierge at the one I literally just put a deposit down on. I'm still kind of in love with her although it's just so painful to see her and not be together. I wish she never would have contacted me. But so we're texting daily now for the last 2 weeks or so and I invited her out to dinner.
After a $100 sushi dinner we go back to her place and talk for awhile and even cuddle although reluctantly. She works nights and I left to go home.
This is where I wake up the next morning to a text from her telling me she's seeing someone and that he treats her well.
TL;DR got strung along and spent $100 on sushi for my ex who is actually seeing someone
DannyAvocado_: So you took your concierge out to dinner and spent 50$ on her.. You're definitely not going to be losing any packages soon
meatandpotaters: Unfortunately I'm too much of a gentleman and foot the whole bill... Not losing packages doesn't seem like such a bad trade though!
kdog2906: I think the point is that the other $50 you spent on yourself
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1660051013 | 1660055162 | t3_wk32wq | t5_2to41 | 127 | [deleted]: TIFU by pulling the sos string in the handicap bathroom to see what would happen
[deleted]
Connect_Cell_2315: You fucking suck friend
whydoievenhavethis3: Why
TAastronautsloth99: dude you can't take these amounts of drugs and expect to come out without SOME sort of brain damage
whydoievenhavethis3: I know lmao,I'm clean now and I'm trying to do better with my life,real low blow
TAastronautsloth99: you seem alright to me though :)
you stopped bullying your sister and that's a good thing.
| 6 | 21.166667 | |
1660048316 | 1660053247 | t3_wk24fc | t5_2to41 | 13 | NoJoke24: TIFU by doing a side kick in skinny jeans.
This actually happened last week as it was the second day of school. I’m 17F. So I was in first period talking to my friends and one of them brought up martial arts. I told them I do Taekwondo and they kinda looked surprised. I don’t have a lot muscle and I’m rather thin so I’m guessing that’s what surprised them. A few hours passed and my friends are talking about martial arts again and the same one that brought up the topic of martial arts said that I should show them some kicks. I told them I’d love to. I had to wait till 6th period though cause that’s when we could go outside. I started stretching cause I knew the kicks would be harder to do since I was wearing tight pants. Anyways I show them the stances and the fighting positions and this is where I screwed up. We were at the tree line so there was a lot of mud but we didn’t want people to really see what we were doing cause we’re unpopular enough, last thing we needed was to be crazy. I show my front kick and they try it, everything’s good. But then the side kick I pivot my foot and kick, I slipped on the mud and my pants tore. My friends were dying laughing and I was just laying in the mud pile. Ended up having to wear a hoodie tied around my waist for the rest of the day.
TL;DR Ripped my pants and fell in mud in front of all my friends.
Slash_Raptor92: This is why I always used to wear a pair of sweats under my jeans in high school.
3pbc: Never nude?
JimmiRustle: Not while wearing pants
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1660052412 | 1660055717 | t3_wk3lpc | t5_2to41 | 38 | idkmanihatemyself: TIFU by accidentally showing friend my girlfriend's nudes
Throwaway. I 18M have had an amazing relationship with my 18F girlfriend who we will call Alexa. We have been dating for a little over half a year and things are awesome.
Now onto the fuck up...
I have a 18M friend we will call Jay. Who is my childhood friend and he's one of my few closest friends. I and Jay were at his place today playing some PS5, just the usual. He then reminded me of some money I owed him, and so, I took my phone out to pay him. However, I had forgotten a very important thing...that, I was looking at Alexa's nudes before coming over to Jay's and hadn't removed gallery app from recent apps. I accidentally opened the gallery which was right beside my bank app. And there they were, Alexa's nudes on full display in all their glory...while Jay was looking into my phone. I quickly tapped home button but the damage had already been done... and now I feel like a horrible person. Neither Jay nor I spoke anything of the incident to each other at all.
TL;DR: Had girlfriend's nudes in gallery, but forgot to remove gallery app from recent apps. Friend accidentally saw her nudes. I want to die now and feel as if I have broken her trust. FML.
SmittyManJensen_: Jay masturbated to your girlfriend’s pictures.
coucub: He does it as we speak.
SmittyManJensen_: I am too tbh
sorry4staring: if she's cool with one person seeing maybe she's cool with us all seeing?
idkmanihatemyself: 🗿
| 6 | 6.333333 | |
1660021298 | 1660089130 | t3_wjuivo | t5_2to41 | 26 | Juleniumn: TIFU by trying to help a friend's friend and ended up with toilet water all over my kitchen
This has been a culmination of events the past month, but today was the dramatic result of my naivety.
It all started when my (21f) coworker approached me asking if I had a spare room her friend (~23f) could rent out. This girl works in the same building as us but part of a different group. I was super busy that day and decided I'd chat with her for a few minutes to see if she was normal. Her lease was ending on July 31st and the new one begins on Aug 17th so I figured it would be ok. In hindsight, this was the first red flag indicating her immaturity.
The next week passed and I hadn't heard anything from her. I was curious why she wasn't reaching out at all and decided to message her. Again, red flag but I'm really stupid. She confirmed she would be coming and that she didn't know what time but it would be in the evening. She arrived with a man who helped her unload some items. I was very uncomfortable because there was no mention of this beforehand and I didn't know if he was staying too? They leave and she tells me she had to drop her other stuff off in a storage unit. She comes back at around midnight with a different man who helps her unload more things (boxes of clothes). At this point I'm pretty pissed but I decide to just let it slide for now since I don't know her all that well and she is very apologetic. She also sends me money through zelle so I feel like I can't back out now.
Another week passes by and I notice some strange habits from her: 1. Cooks on my nonstick pan using a metal fork 2. Leaves the coffee pot on while empty 3. Doesn't do her dishes 4. Sleeps on the bed without sheets 5. Leaves the bathroom fan on 24/7. The last habit of hers had me really curious. There was an unpleasant smell eminating from her room/bathroom that had been growing for a few days. I figured she just had a weird smell to her and didn't want to be a bully about it.
Yesterday, I go downstairs to the kitchenette area for a muffin when I step on something wet. My instinct was to look up and make sure nothing was leaking from the ceiling and sure enough it was dry. I realize the puddle is actually quite large and is flowing in a thin stream from her bathroom. I immediately start throwing paper towels on it and ask her what's going on. She looks shocked and tells me she will check the bathroom. The floor is apparently completely dry, but I seriously have my doubts. At this point I notice water also has a foul smell to it, so believing this is a plumbing leak or flooding from the heavy rain (unlikely given this is in the center of the house), I disinfect the floor as well. When I ask her if I can check the bathroom, she says no and she will do it herself. I figured she might have something like clothes on the floor and don't want to invade her privacy.
A few hours later, I notice water still leaking from her bathroom. I'm completely fed up at this point and again ask to enter. She continues to insist she's checked and everything is dry, even around the sink. I play it cool and say if it continues into the next day, I'm calling a plumber while secretly planning to investigate when she leaves for work. At night she texts me that it's dry (implying no plumber is needed). Morning comes, surprise surprise, still water flowing out like my tears at this rate. I call the plumber and have them scheduled to come the next day. She's fine with it, she'll be there too for some reason (usually at work during the time I scheduled).
Well here is where everything came crashing down. I enter the bathroom when she's gone and the stench immediately hits me like a truck. How can someone stink up a bathroom that much?? I see a thin line of water near the quarter round of the sink and knew she was lying about not seeing water. I then decide to check the toilet and let me tell you... I have NEVER seen anything so horribly twisted and vomit inducing than what was in there. Days of fecal matter floating in a giant pool of brown gunk that smelled like living hell. I volunteer in an animal shelter and even they DO NOT SMELL THAT GOD AWFUL.
I was fuming. Put on a resprirator and went to work with the plunger (sitting next to the toilet untouched with tape still on it btw). It took close to 2 hrs to get the toilet to semi flush and disinfecting all the floors any spillage might have gotten on. When she got home, I was not having any of it. I confronted her, got her keys, and told her she has until tomorrow to find another place to stay. I expected her to be sorry after I caught her in such a disgusting lie that poses a health risk to both of us, but instead she told me there was no flooding or clogged toilet. What. The. Hell.
I reiterated that I didn't care if there was no flooding from the toilet, she caused damages to my home, lied to me, and I expected her to be gone by tomorrow. Then I turned around and walked to my room. The plumber comes tomorrow and if she ain't gone, by then, I have plenty of time to make her stay with me miserable. For now I plan to keep my mouth shut to everyone at our workplace, but she is a moron, who knows what will happen.
Tomorrow I can hopefully change my locks and put this all behind me, but it's pretty difficult to cleanse my nose from her floating gastrointestinal byproduct. Don't trust strangers into your house, lesson learned
TL;dr I allowed a friend's friend to stay at my place in between leases and she clogged the toilet, kept it a secret, and allowed part of my house to be flooded with her fecal matter. Continues to deny it's her fault and that there was any flooding in the bathroom
ALT128405: Cry me a river!
Juleniumn: Cry me a sewer
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1660054507 | 1660061313 | t3_wk4f9n | t5_2to41 | 45 | mook1178: TIFU by reading a Tampon Box wrong
[removed]
georgiablue42: Not a f up misinterpreting something you have to experience with. I'm impressed that you both thought to ask when it seemed weird instead of assuming with out clarifying and noticed the "drops".
mook1178: I have no problem asking. I knew left and right had to be wrong, but those words got stuck and I could not come up with anything else. LOL
| 3 | 15 | |
1660055612 | 1660116843 | t3_wk4vkb | t5_2to41 | 87 | AshyTheVillain: TIFU: By visiting the lego store with my brother
It's the summer holiday in UK and I hadn't seen my family in a while so I arranged to bring my brother over to visit the new lego store where I live. Sounds fun right?
Well it was... Until he set his eyes on the Millennium Falcon. It was way out of my budget as it was but I decided, "Fuck it, you only get so many chances to build a bond with the family you never see" and thought this would be an awesome project to help him with and something that will keep him preoccupied for a while.
So we left the store with about 2 pounds left to my name and a huge box in tow. Now that doesn't sound like a TIFU, that's just poor money management.
Carrying it home was where it all goes wrong. This box is BIG and I mean MASSIVE. But hey, I'm only going to carry it to Costa and get a drink, it will be fine.
Five minutes painstakingly go by and all I can think of is that the inside of my elbows are burning and gripping this thing is almost impossible, but I persevere and get to the coffee shop. Only after I put the thing down do I realise I've messed up.
As of typing this post my arms are shaking uncontrollably and I'm struggling to hold, let alone lift my drink. I've not only got to carry this giant thing home, I've somehow got to get it along with my brother back to his home 14 miles away on public transport.
Ontop of this I'm currently set up for a ridiculous amount of overtime to cover this and I might be useless at work tommorow.
UPDATE: We got it home on the public transport and both my mum and brother are extremely chuffed. I am too but I've seriously bruised my hips from resting the set on them when my arms get tired. Work will be one hell of a day tommorow!
TLDR; I bought a fucking massive lego set and have destroyed my joints trying to carry it home.
ImagineReality125: Can't he help carry it? If he is old enough to build it, he is old enough to help carry it
Secondly, i looked up the specs....it would not hurt to lift some light weights once in a while, you'll be happier and stronger
But anyway, just rest, ask a stranger for help if you need to, call a friend and lend some money for a cab or to come and help you carry it
AshyTheVillain: He's got hypermobility issues meaning he struggles to grip items, especially for long periods of time. I do currently lift weights too, but I also have mild joint issues that I'm seeing a doctor/doing physio for so I think it's related to that.
The weight isn't too bad it's just carrying it at an awkward angle at 5ft 6 tall meaning my arms aren't too long either.
Getting a taxi in this city during one of the city's biggest festivals is a bit of nightmare too so I'm just working through it.
ImagineReality125: Oh, i hope you get rid of those joint issues soon, but i can imagine that carrying this will not improve that. Take enough brakes, no shame in showing that.
Since the weight is not isue but the size, a possible carrying method is to place it on your head and only things hands need to do is balance it. Looks silly but will help with the carrying process.
Oh yeah....big festivals always result in hellish traffic..... but still, calling a friend to help carry is still an option. most friends would love to get the opportunity to help and all you have to do is buy them a drink in the end and both are happy.
Good luck OP
Akitiki: Carrying things on your head is the way to go. Especially for heavy things- it loads the spine directly. I, a woman with annoying boobs, kinda have to carry larger items this way.
MakeMeOolong: If you aren't trained, that's the worst idea you could've come up with frankly. If you reference is those strong women in African countries, know that they are troopers. Their neck muscles are used to do this from a young age. Trying to imitate them with something heavy without training could cause serious injuries.
Akitiki: I'm talking the way of like ~25lb or so. As in boxes of cakes that I need to walk to the freezer.
AshyTheVillain: Ah in that case the boz of lego I was carrying is estimated to be about 30 lbs on Google so that might not be ideal for me.
| 8 | 10.875 | |
1660055705 | 1660060352 | t3_wk4wve | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex instead of playing video games and breaking my voluntary celibacy
[deleted]
HorseFry: I don’t think you had sex? Licking shoulders and flicking nipples doesn’t equal sex. Just a very awkward experience…
WHeintzKetchup: More happened after that I just didn’t want to go into the details of it
HorseFry: Ah gotchya
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1660057953 | 1660070995 | t3_wk5u4n | t5_2to41 | 40,400 | Typical_Ad_210: TIFU by buying my wife a bra
Yes I FU *again*. I really actually don’t feel I’ve done anything wrong, my wife disagrees.
All summer she has been complaining about her sweaty tits. How she’s ruining all her good bras with cheb sweat. She’s paranoid about under boob sweat lines, etc, etc.
Now this isn’t my first rodeo, so I stuck to just sympathetically listening and nodding at appropriate times. No comments that could be misconstrued as me criticising her breasts or her sweatiness or anything like it. (She’s not even any more sweaty than the average person and her breasts are incredible, but I digress). And absolutely NO way in hell was I going to try to “solve” her problem. Only a husband who is an idiotic masochist would do that, right?
But then last week I got an email from the company she buys her period pants from (each newsletter sign up gets money off their order, so a while back she had also signed up using my email address to get an extra promo code. I don’t have a menstrual product fetish or anything, I swear).
Anyway, the subject line caught my eye. “The Sweat-Proof Bra. A match made in leak proof heaven”. Obviously any sane person would delete the email, but as I said, I’m an idiotic masochist. Plus, the email said this bra would be my wife’s “new breast friend”. Who was I to keep her from her breast friend?
So I checked out the sizes of her other bras and then placed an order. It arrived an hour or so ago. I knew what it would be, so handed it to her unopened.
“Here babe, this is for you”
“Ooh what is it??!!”
“It’s a bra”
At this point I see the glint in her eyes and realise my mistake. Sure enough, instead of the sexy lingerie she was hoping for, she pulls out her large, beige, utilitarian looking “sweat-proof bra”.
Well I’m sure you can imagine how it went from there, and my foolish muttering of “bu.. but the ad said it would be your new breast friend” didn’t help matters. Because apparently*I’m* the only sweaty tit here. I don’t find her sexy anymore. I’ll have you know that those sweaty breasts fed and nourished our children. And just what, exactly, am I getting at anyway? Am I trying to say she has saggy boobs? That she *needs* a new bra? A more supportive one, for her ageing sagbags. This is *just like* me, to try to solve a problem, rather than letting her vent.
So yeah, that went well. She has taken the kids to their swimming lesson and then for ice cream, so I have 2 hours or so to try to salvage things, somehow. Crotchless pants?
Four fucking sisters and not one of them is free to answer the phone. Four iterations of “sorry I’m busy, is it an emergency?” texts. So I’m on my own with this one. I think she’ll be more willing to listen to my apology when she returns. She knows I am a well-meaning idiot. And I think she is beautiful and sexy and deserving of lingerie, not beige, sweat-eating monstrosities.
TL;DR - Please, take heed of my lesson - no matter how much she complains about her tit sweat, do NOTHING.
Edit - they’re just back. She has ice cream for me and a sheepish grin, lol. I imagine we will be laughing about this after the kids go to bed. Like someone said, possibly my delivery, as if it was going to be a great present, contributed to her reaction. As did the fact I haven’t bought her sexy underwear in a long time. And she may well be going through the perimenopause. We have an incredible relationship, she is so funny, kind, caring, laid back, witty and a million other good things. Her reaction was baffling, it was so out of character. Anyway, I’m going to read the kids their stories and put them to bed. They always sleep incredibly well after swimming, so hopefully we can both enjoy her sweaty breasts soon enough, lol.
Ps, please don’t call her a “bitch”, “twat” or any other derogatory term that she has been called here. She is amazing and I love her more than anything.
Edit 2 - Jesus Christ, how long were we shagging for, this really gained traction whilst I was gone. She now knows about the post and finds the whole thing hilarious. Thank you for the funny comments and eff you for the hurtful ones (thankfully this is in the minority).
I didn’t include the company, cos it might seem like some weird ad campaign (although maybe they wouldn’t describe their own products as looking “utilitarian”, lol), but seeing as so many people asked, the brand is Modi Bodi. Not sure about the bras (as yet untried), but my wife thoroughly recommends their period pants
aledba: I know that everyone is different but it really seems like a caring gift
dragonchilde: Agreed! It means not only was he listening, but he cared enough to see something and go "Oh, I bet this would help solve that issue!" and then did it with the intention of helping! It's super sweet and even if it was a miss, that's still a great thing for a husband to do. Way to disincentivize thoughtful gifts in the future.
Mo3: That's typical male problem-solving thinking that for some reason is the #1 misunderstood thing ever
PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL: Wives should do a better job of understanding that problem solving is often a guys way of showing that he cares.
Allyluvsu13: Or guys could do a better job of understanding that trying to solve our problems feels dismissive and often invalidates our feelings.
Dregride: Treating someone's problems seriously is dismissive and invalidating?
Yeah no, its the opposite
Allyluvsu13: I can solve my own problems. I’m an adult. I don’t need my husband to take care of me, I want him to *listen* to me.
GimmickNG: If you can solve your own problems, why the fuck do you even tell your husband about them?
Allyluvsu13: Because…I love him? I like talking to him? Same way he tells me about his day?
GimmickNG: There's a difference between "telling someone about their day" and "venting about their problems". If you do not recognize that I do not know what to say.
Allyluvsu13: You’re under the impression that all I do is vent. Which I have never said.
My husband vents to me too. And also doesn’t want solutions. Sometimes it just helps to get it off your chest.
GimmickNG: Nowhere have I said that all you do is vent.
Allyluvsu13: That’s fair, you didn’t. Sorry.
GimmickNG: Likewise, I'm sorry for being a dick in this thread.
Allyluvsu13: I appreciate it.
| 16 | 2,525 | |
1660059056 | 1660162721 | t3_wk6af2 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Ahorn_Baum: TIFU by taking edibles for the first time
So I did edibles for the time yesterday and because its not really legal in my country yet I bought some hash and made it myself, problem is I didn't know the difference between hash and normal weed and didn't realize how long the high would last (Stupid I know). The evening went pretty well, I ate the last bit at like 2:00 am and went to bed shortly after. I wake up the next day absolutely hammered, like took me 5 min to remember how to open my eyes hammered. Problem is I was directing a robotics competition at my school that day. Not too big a problem I think, I already organized everything, now I just need to be there incase something comes up. So I arrive, still very high and the first person I meet is the principle, who informed me the mayor of my town plus a local news station want to do an interview with me, Sh\*t. At this point I need to admit, my memory is somewhat hazy about what happened the past few hours as I slowly come down from the high but I don't think im being paranoid when I say they were quite suspicious and didn't believe my excuse that I was just tired from all the organizing. Interview luckly wasn't live, if they air it and I find a link I will post it.
TL:DR Did an interview with local news and mayor while high as a kite
Update: My day keeps on getting worse, my father must have found the brownies. I came home and he complained that the brownies on my desk were to dry. Should I tell him or let him find out himself?
Squigglepig52: I once did a job interview the day after I ate a gram of hash to see what would happen.
Passed out in the interview.
Still got the job.
hoosier-daddy-69: how??
Squigglepig52: My buddy who was also interviewing spun a story, while I was passed out, that I had a bad inner ear issue happening, but wanted the job so badly I came in anyway.
They thought that showed dedication.
Lumpy-Ad-3201: Wife wants to know, did you ever tell them that you were baked like a fucking potato, or did it just stay that way forever?
Squigglepig52: I never came clean to them on that, lol.
Lumpy-Ad-3201: That's the right call, she just got very curious about that aspect.
| 7 | 3.571429 | |
1660058203 | 1660078331 | t3_wk5xt8 | t5_2to41 | 471 | NerdvanaNC: TIFU by skipping the 2nd book in a trilogy.
So I'm reading the *excellent* Three Body Problem series by Liu Cixin, and as soon as I finished the first book I couldn't wait to get started with the next one.
In fact, I was so excited I had a brain fart and completely missed the 2nd book (The Dark Forest) and started reading the 3rd entry (Death's End).
The dumbest part was that I actually read ~100 pages telling myself "maybe it starts this way and then it'll all get clearer as I go," but it didn't. I then Googled the biggest thing that didn't make sense and found out, THROUGH A MEME, that I'd missed an entire book.
Now, I'm reading the second book and realizing that I read *just enough* of the third book to spoil nearly all of it. :(
Ah well, it's still a fun ride and I'm having a blast.
TL;DR: Skipped the 2nd book in a trilogy and went straight to the 3rd, by the time I realized my FU I'd read just enough of the 3rd book to spoil the 2nd book.
Enders__Game: I just finished this series and really enjoyed it! It really makes you think about the universe
Squigglepig52: should check out some Baxter or Benford. Same premise - why we don't meet aliens.
I keep meaning to read the 3 Body Problem, myself.
Enders__Game: Are you referring to the Foundation trilogy?
Squigglepig52: That's Asimov. Well, Benford wrote a later one, true.
No - his Galactic Center series.
| 5 | 94.2 | |
1660062207 | 1660086997 | t3_wk7mey | t5_2to41 | 31 | furby-fighter: Tifu by trying to high-five a group of Otrhodox Jewish children
For the record, high-fiving children is literally part of my job. I (F25) work in community health and frequently do health education events. I was at a fair in a town I’ve never been to. For the record I grew up on the west coast and there are significantly more and larger orthodox communities on the east coast, so it’s a community I have not encountered until now. I’ve only been in this kind of job for 5 months.
Anyways I’m in a highly orthodox community and I’m working a health fair. I’ve got a long skirt and I’m covered up in a polo and most other providers are rather dressed for the heat so I thought “hey I’ve got this.” Cue this adorable family. All of the kids are boys, dressed the same, they have tassels (tzitzits!) on the belts and are clearly orthodox. They can’t be older than 8. They’re all super excited about the toothbrushes and they answer all my education questions correctly. I get excited and go “awesome high fives all around!” And they all look at me mortified. The tent of people goes silent. I kinda lower my hand and go “oh that’s okay!” and the mom makes a joke about practicing Covid. I laugh nervously and feel bad because I clearly made them uncomfortable.
One of my colleagues from a different company waits and comes over and explains the no touching the opposite sex practice and how to never do that in this community. I was and still am mortified. I had absolutely no idea. Rule number one is to always be culturally competent and I totally and publicly messed up.
TLDR: tried to high five a group of children in front of all of my colleagues and it was totally culturally inappropriate
undergroundsilver: But this is how you learn in life. Now you have gained wisdom and know more about someone that lives differently than you.
HelloReddit636: And he has spread his wisdom too. Reddit can be a great place
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1660065213 | 1660066386 | t3_wk8vn4 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by flashing the drug screening tech when I didn’t have to.
[deleted]
NickTheNack: Well hopefully your ass was clean
chamberofcoal: Unfortunately, he had just gotten done taking a casting of his ass with poop he pulled out of the gas station toilet. Horrible timing.
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1660066951 | 1660100319 | t3_wk9lph | t5_2to41 | 262 | Least_Brain_2760: TIFU by letting my friends in my house
[removed]
Coco_Dirichlet: Well, you are the idiot for leaving a loaded airsoft gun in your room.
Least_Brain_2760: Like I said, it doesn’t take a genius to know that you shouldn’t play with them indoors. I also told them not to touch them.
crispiy: To say you are very responsible with guns, and then to say you left a gun loaded, unsupervised, and unsecured is in direct contradiction to the previous statement.
Least_Brain_2760: I understand where your coming from. But, I told them specifically not to touch them. It’s not like they were easy to access. They were in my closet. When my friends found them I told them not to touch them.
love2Vax: Be honest, were you showing them off? Because that is a very typical behavior of a 14yo male. How did they find the a.s. guns in your closet?
Once they were found, you should have taken out the ammo, and not assumed 2 other 14 yo males wouldn't play around with them. You knew that they aren't deadly, but that they can still do damage, so this is on all 3 of you, not just them.
Least_Brain_2760: Right hand to god I wasn’t showing them off. If you’ve ever had fellow teens in their room. You know they tend look through your shit.
| 7 | 37.428571 | |
1660062836 | 1660093722 | t3_wk7vuw | t5_2to41 | 3 | abysmaldepression: TIFU by accidentally ending up in the hospital after trying THC oil
For a little context, my parents own THC oil (legally) and I wasn't allowed to try.
This is extremely recent. I have a dissociation disorder and sometimes have periods where I feel like im not alive at all. I wanted to try THC oil for fun. I had never taken any other kind of drug. The packaging said the recommended dose was 0.3 mL and i took it 5 times thinking it would be 0.15 mL.
After a while, I realized I was really dizzy and decided to head downstairs to nap. When I woke up from my nap. Everything was so weird and I didn't recognize anything around me. I felt like I was in a lucid dream or like an "entity" was in my body and it was trying to take control of me.
I panicked and was breathing super fast and crying. I dialed 911 and they came a bit later. I had no notion of time. They came and I couldn't understand anything they were saying and I was apparently super white and sweating. They took me to the ER.
My eyes were flipping back and I had body spasms. My heartbeat was around 130. I was still dissociating.
Never again. Today is the day right after and I still am dissociating. I don't feel alive at all. I lost the notion of time.
Also, turns out I took 15 mL instead of 0.15 mL.
TL;DR: Accidentally overdosed on my parents THC oil and forgot I had a dissociation disorder. Can't stop dissociating.
Spiritual-Custard-51: Just wondering, how was it measured?
abysmaldepression: Syringe, I took 5 times the maximum dose (3mL) thinking it was 0.3mL
Spiritual-Custard-51: Ahh that makes sense then, you thought you were taking only half
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1660068679 | 1660141414 | t3_wkacc9 | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to acupuncture.
[deleted]
127peter: Very frigid person if she’s never given your dad a wank.
cfishlips: Pretty sure that would be an impossibility as op exists.
127peter: How old are you? Masturbating just twice a month doesn’t seem normal to me. More like twice a week
Please go and have a chat with your doctor. This acupuncture treatment is NOT normal and sounds suspicious to me. Are you some kind of religious sect.
notrllyaredditor: The craziest part to me is my mom getting upset. My doctor mentioned multiple times that it’s normal for my age, and not unhealthy unless and addiction forms.
The doctor talked about it for less than a minute, and kept the rest of the process going…. My mom in the other hand acted like the doctor said I was a sex offender or something
Ikll admit I would probably be doing it more if I had more time alone, but who wouldn’t?
but I did kinda have a phase in 10th grade where it could be 4 times a week, and I’ll admit it wasn’t healthy, but I’m past the worse stage of it so I really don’t see the point in my mom making it a huge deal.
at this point in my life I’m looking for a girlfriend and talking to girls.. I wonder how she would react if i had sex
127peter: Look your fretting over nothing. Your libido is not something you should be suppressing. It’s unhealthy. I’ve never heard of an Acupuncturist examining some one LOOKING for disease. I notice you won’t answer if your part of sect or something. I’m guessing you are anti vaxxers.
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1660068735 | 1660150689 | t3_wkad9e | t5_2to41 | 47 | Zaptain_America: TIFU by basically letting my wallet get stolen
So basically, I (16M) take the bus a couple of times a week to go to the gym because no one in my house drives and it's not within walking distance, so I did this today just like always. The issue here is that the shorts I wear to the gym don't have any pockets, so I was holding my wallet for some reason instead of putting it in my bag. When it gets to my stop I rush to get off because I'm on the top floor (Double decker bus, I live in England).
So I walk into the gym and go to get my wallet so I can scan my card to get in, and, what a surprise, I don't have it. I end up calling my mum and realise my phone has no credit, so I call her on whatsapp since the gym has wifi, and I say to her "Mum, I've really screwed up" and explain what I did. Luckily I was able to get my membership card on the app so I scan my phone and am let in.
Literally less than 10 minutes later, I've started my workout and I get a text message from the bank with a code to confirm setting up apple pay with my card. I don't have an iPhone. Some idiot stole my wallet and tried to set up apple pay with it. At this point I'm panicking and try to call the number it gave me for if it wasn't me trying to set it up. Then I realise I don't have any credit on my phone, so I go down to reception and ask if they have a phone there that I can use urgently.
Purely by chance this girl I know from school is there and says I can use her phone to call them, then we realise there's no signal so I give it back to her and say thanks anyway. Then one of the receptionists comes outside with me and lets me call the number on her phone, so I do and I cancel the card.
So now I don't have my credit card, or my library card, gym card etc. and also I've lost my really cool wallet. Well the joke's on them because there was only about £5 in my account anyway.
TL;DR- put down my wallet on the bus and forgot and it was immediately stolen, and I didn't have any credit on my phone to call the bank and cancel it.
Mark00000: Go without a wallet at all. I haven't carried a wallet around for at least 5 years. Everything has an app now or electronic member cards.
Zaptain_America: I thought about doing that but if I for some reason didn't have access to my phone I'd be screwed
| 3 | 15.666667 | |
1660070548 | 1660093996 | t3_wkb53n | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by meeting my long distance boyfriend
[deleted]
Hamsox94: Just for reference, is your bf much older than you? Trying to figure out if that's why they hate him
pseunii: No. He recently graduated and is two years older than me. It’s legal in my state. He said something that my mother wasn’t very happy to hear…
hmbritt: Okay, I need to hear what he said that mother didn't like.
pseunii: Well you see my generation isn’t very cordial. Myself and my friends often insult eachother and use derogatory words with eachother. So my bf and I were comfortable with messing with eachother like that and (jokingly) addressed eachother rudely. I left my phone out in the open and while I was gone, he texted something like “why arent u answering my calls hoe”. My mom saw before I did and she didn’t like it 😬
hmbritt: Yikes. Lol.
I completely get this sarcastic or joking rude comments. But I can see how Mom wouldn't. Only because I know my mom would have react at the same way and did.
I dated this guy back in high school. Before phones, text and stuff like that. So we had to write notes back and forth on paper. At the bottom of each note, he would write a little part from a song, song lyrics.
One particular letter he wrote nine inch nails. I want to f*** you like an animal....
Well my mom found it and that didn't go over well. His parents end up getting called over for a meeting. I was oblivious to the whole situation until I sat there in front of him and his parents. Yikes!. 🤦♀️
| 6 | 4.5 | |
1660070916 | 1660071675 | t3_wkbar3 | t5_2to41 | 16 | No-Resort-7026: TIFU by getting super drunk with my(F) best friend (M) and woke up NAKED.
TIFU.... The other evening, my best friend and I got HAMMERED and went to bed...together....naked...and spooning with hands on my boobs and I definitely felt his manhood. We became best friends because we get along so well. He's much younger than me so he a lot of life to experience. I'm older and at a place in my life where I get excited about a clean home, a good book/movie, and a balanced dinner with an early bed time. Despite our differences, I can honestly say I have never had a better friendship in my life.
When I snuck out while he was still sleeping, I felt like I was doing the walk of shame. We went to bed around 5am and I woke up at 10am. I open my eyes and see both of us naked and immediately panic. We never kissed and we didn't fool around but that level of comfort and intimacy, even drunk, is something we've never done before.
I'm a sexual person but not promiscuous. Truth be told, I've been celibate since November 2021. I think I have a lot of sexual tension and feel safe with him, so things progressed the way they did. I can't stop thinking about it and now my anxiety is out of control. I do remember him saying he doesn't want to lose me as a friend and I agreed. I'm still trying to process what this means for me, for him, and for us.
Anyone ever been in a situation like this? Wtf do I do?
TL;DR- hammered drunk with best... friend wake up naked spooning with him holding my boobs....
thesnapening: Sounds like you were drunk and simply acted with forethought.
Have you seen him since? If so was anything said?
No-Resort-7026: We have not seen each other since. We visit at least once a week and this was a couple days ago. We have resumed texting and sending funny post or videos.
thesnapening: Sounds like it's back to normal, people do weird things when drunk.
| 4 | 4 | |
1660071177 | 1660074716 | t3_wkben7 | t5_2to41 | 10 | ObesePenis69: TIFU by screenshoting my own picture in Snapchat
I’m a 15 year old guy, and this happened to me just yesterday.
I had been talking with this girl on snapchat for a few months, and we were getting along really well. She was really, and I mean really nice, but she did have problems with anxiety. I didn’t really want to bring it up all the time, but I talked with her about it when it was brought up and she was really appreciative of it. We also talked in discord when we had the time to do that.
This happened a day before we were supposed to go to the cinema and actually meet up. I was discussing with her about the seats that we were going to reserve for the movie, and the conversation went along the lines of this:
Me: *sends picture*
Me: hey what seats should we take?
Her: I have no idea haha
So after this I decide to screenshot my own picture that I sent and use the drawing feature, that comes up when you take screenshots, to circle in the seats I wanted to reserve.
If you don’t know, Snapchat can see if you take a screenshot, and it displays at the top of the chat that you took a screenshot
I didn’t think anything of it, so I sent the edited screenshot that I took and said:
“What about these?”
I turned my phone over and waited for her to respond. I waited a few minutes and checked my phone. When I checked snapchat, it said that we weren’t added/friends. I was confused, so I tried adding her back, but it didn’t work. I quickly realized that she blocked me on snapchat and discord immediately after I turned over my phone.
I was devastated, but mostly confused.
I mean, 3 months of talking, just to end it like that? Why? I still don’t quite know why she blocked me, but I think the screenshot is the most probable cause. Maybe because all of the anxiety?
Was it something else? Or was it just a ploy this whole time? It made absolutely no sense at all. Like, we were actually good friends, considering that we hadn’t even met IRL. Plus, we had a lot of respect for each other, so I don’t see why I would get blocked.
TL;DR I screenshoted my own picture that I sent to this girl on Snapchat and she immediately blocked me.
If you might have an idea why, please tell me, thanks.
Wooden-Difficulty796: Listen pal, especially at your age. I'm only m24 myself.
This shit is going to happen. It might be the first time but let me tell yah, it will not be the last.
You may never know why it happened. I have no idea why a handful of real keepers did something somewhat similar to me. It's life and honestly, it doesn't matter.
Clearly you did nothing wrong and that's all you should worry about.
Wasn't your fault bro.
You're going to stress and wonder and worry and it's not gonna be easy BUT you simply just gotta move on. It's all you can do.
Who knows you might hear from her again in a week, or 10 years from now you'll laugh because you could be living together.
It's life man,don't stress just tie your boots and keep looking forward.
ObesePenis69: Thanks man, I appreciate this a lot. And don’t worry, this ain’t the first something like this has happened. But this one was the most odd, so I had to share this. Btw thank you for taking your time to write that comment, you’re an actual legend. I’ll keep going lol. Thank you.
Wooden-Difficulty796: You're welcome buddy.
Just remember it's life. Let them chase you don't chase them.
ObesePenis69: Got it.
| 5 | 2 |
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