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1659883539 | 1660291083 | t3_wihdkb | t5_2to41 | 7 | dirtydiaperdumpster: TIFU by tripping over a gate
I (F19) used to be, and still am, pretty weird.
For some context, my little sister and I used to share a room. We also had a few cats and dogs that would always try to get into our room, so we had to start putting a gate up. Now the first time we put a gate up, the animals were able to jump it, so we put it up a bit higher and shoved a towel underneath to keep them from entering that way. They stopped jumping over it as much, so we left it at that. Also, we live in a trailer, and in front of my doorway is the heating unit. I forgot what it's called, but it's a floor-to-ceiling heating thing with vents all over it.
When I was 14, my little sister and I were messing around in our room. We had stuffed our shirts and pants with pillows and blankets to make us as big as our clothes would allow, and we jump around running into things and each other. I wanted to show my mom what I looked like, so I went to leave the room.
That's where TFU began. The gate that was up was level with my lower stomach, so I had trouble getting over it a lot of the time. Trying to get over it while my clothes are stuffed with blankets and pillows though? That was a HUGE struggle.
As I stepped over the gate, my pants got stuck. I didn't realize it at first until it was too late and I was already falling. I didn't know how to stop myself from falling, so I stuck my hand out to try to use the vent thing to stop my fall. Big mistake! I flopped onto the ground just fine but immediately knew something was wrong. I looked over and saw my pinky. Blood was pouring out of the tip of my finger.
My sister takes down the gate and comes out to see what's up. She saw my finger and just stood there. I told her to go get mommy and to tell her that I cut my finger open. She ran to get our mom. While she did that, I went into the bathroom to rinse my finger. When the blood was gone, I had seen what had really happened.
When I was falling, I managed to slice my pinky open on one of the grates/vents on the unit. It had nearly sliced a whole chunk of my pinky off. I didn't even feel a thing!
I continued rinsing it and messing around with the meat flap that was there. It felt like ages before my mom came in. When she looked down and saw my pinky, she started freaking out. She told me that my sister told her that I just scratched myself, so she wasn't quite expecting to see my pinky sliced open.
My mom asked me if I wanted to just put a band-aide over it or if I wanted to get stitches at the hospital. I was honestly fine with a band-aide, but she knew it wouldn't heal properly with the way that it was. She went and just took me to the ER.
We arrived, did the paperwork, and it took about 30 minutes until we saw someone for my finger. The nurse came out and called us to go back with her. She led us to a room and had me sit on a bed. She dragged over this large light to look at my pinky. We had wrapped it up with paper towels at home just to prevent blood from getting everywhere, so while she was removing it, that's when the pain really kicked in as it was just pulling and pulling and pulling at the meat.
The wrap came off and we all saw what was underneath. The tip of the meat from my pinky was already starting to turn a deep purple color. It was so gross to look at. The nurse decided that we weren't going to do stitches, but instead superglue it. I had never heard of that happening until I had to get it done!
The nurse lifted a bit of the pinky meat up and put this brush type of thing that had the glue on it inside of the wound. She rubbed it around a bit and it started to sting. I had forgotten that superglue can feel hot sometimes, so that was a surprise.
Afterward, she pushed the flap down and then put a fairy strip over it, and then wrapped it with some gauze. We got out as fast as we got in.
Fast forward a few months, and it had healed fine-ish. The only issue is that it healed in a way that makes my pinky look like it has a large wart on it. I could've had just a line for a scar, but because it was glued, it left a bit less room to heal properly and it's just a puff on my finger. I'm now very self-conscious about it and I'm always trying to hide it. My mom and I both think it would've been a lot cheaper and a lot easier to just use a band-aide and make it as tight as it could be on the skin. So yeah! Just a warning, never trip over a gate while stuffing your clothes, especially if there are sharp things in front of your door.
TL;DR- Tripped over a bedroom gate from being stupid, sliced my pinky open, had it glued back down, and now the scar looks like a wart!
Flimsy-Imagination71: wtf superglue?
dirtydiaperdumpster: Mmmhm. It was the kind of super meant for deep cuts. Smelled like regular superglue and had the heat aspect as well.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1660244031 | 1660277960 | t3_wlz49k | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a weird comment to my friend that came off as flirty when im in a relationship.
[deleted]
Cdnguy526: Er.... I think you are okay? I mean platonic means non sexual, so it doesn't seem like it would be that flirty of a message.
Proof_Ingenuity_7413: true but i jus feel bad bc it came off weird 😭
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1660253781 | 1660337377 | t3_wm2zxs | t5_2to41 | 21 | anaccidentaloffender: TIFU by (possibly) jerking off infront of my neighbors
TLDR at the end.
This is a throw away.
While this fuckup technically happened over the last week I only realized it last night. So last week I moved into a first floor apartment, in one of the biggest cities in the US, on a very busy intersection. The apartment is a small studio with large windows that face the street and are conveniently right next to the building entrance.
At first I was unsure of the apartment because I was scared of creeps looking through my window but both the landlord and former tenant (separately) explained that the glass was tinted. During the day when you look through the window you can't see anything unless there is a light right up against it and thats all you can see, just the light bulb. I checked and double checked and triple checked this. I'm a very anxious person.
Over the last week I've been slowly moving in, bringing a car load of stuff over each day. I currently have a lot of stressful stuff going on in my life so between that and the move I would be exhausted at the end of each day. I would be too tired to cook and too tired to pick up food so I would always have food delivered. im also new to the area and don't know anyone yet. All of this meant that I never went outside at night.
To relieve some of this stress I would usually shower and then masturbate before going to sleep. I also generally like to sleep naked and after i dried off from the shower I wouldn't put clothes on until the next morning. This became my nightly routine over the last couple days.
Well last night I realized that I hadn't moved my car to the other side of the road, which is something I have to do for the streetcleaners depending on the day. so I ran out to do that quickly and as I walked out and passed my front windows I almost shit myself because I. could. see. into. my apartment. For some reason it never crossed my mind to check what the visibility looked like at night and that is where I fucked. up. Apparently at night the whole room is completely visible when the lights are on and since I'm still moving in there's no curtains up. just my bed and a TV.
So for the last 5 nights when I was naked walking around, cooking, watching TV, unpacking and best of all jerking off. Anyone that walked by my apartment saw me clearly through my windows, while I thought I was in a completely private space.
This is easily the most embarrassed I have ever been in my life. If anyone saw me (which atleast one person absolutely did) they must have thought I am some creep. I haven't even been here a week and everyone on my block probably has seen me naked or knows who I am. I dont want to live here anymore but have a 1 year lease. fuck me.
TLDR
I jerk off every night and walk around naked. Thought my first floor street facing windows were tinted and provided privacy. They did not. Now I'm waiting to be put on sex offenders list.
ExoticButters79: Well this was slightly better written this time compared to last times this exact story was posted.
If this really happened you would have at least had a visit from the landlord, more likely the police. Keep uo the good fiction tales.
DM-Shadikar: The police are never going to visit and tell someone to stop jerking off in their own apartment... If you don't want to see, don't look in the windows.
ExoticButters79: Are you joking. You can literally be charged with indecent exposure and more if someone sees you.
DM-Shadikar: No you can't... It's your private property. If people look in and get an eye full that's on them.
ExoticButters79: You might want to brush up on law and recent cases that have gone through the courts my dude. If a person can see you, in your house, from a public right away, you are not afforded the argument of "I was in my house, it's private property.
RandoCalrissian11: Yes you are. It’s perfectly fine.
| 7 | 3 | |
1660258046 | 1660258290 | t3_wm4nzj | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by not wearing underwear
[deleted]
QUIBICUS: Depends on how big your dick is?
lonesome_game: 3 centimeter defeater
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660250096 | 1660522991 | t3_wm1j3w | t5_2to41 | 127 | [deleted]: TIFU over investing in colleague without healthy communication
I(35M) was struggling with depression, self hate and low self worth issue for last 5 years, so I keep my connection in office very limited (with only team mates) and I had very poor people skill. from last year or so, i've started lifting myself up with the help of psychologist/books/whatever means I could. with that help, i became optimistic I'd started building good physique, cultivated good habits and as a second step, started connecting with different people from my office and I was kind of winning at it.
but there was this girl(< 30F) in my office who sits near by which I always thought was interested in me (mostly nonverbal). and i got attracted to her due to her simplicity. So, whenever I had chance to talk to her I got pretty nervous and could not freely talk to her (so forcing very awkward sentences). this fear of loosing opportunity got into my head so much that I I became obssessed with her and desperately wanted to tell her my journey and make her understand reasons for my poor/communication/romance skills.
I overinvested in connecting with her so much that I ignore the signs that she has started pulling away and hiding behind desks and people just to avoid me, so again as a last attempt, I started sending her emotionally driven whatsapp /text msgs etc. which she obviously hated (now entirely overtly).
I know this is typical nice guy behavior and its ultimate romance/attraction killer but I was so afraid to lose connecting with someone (her) I lost my sense of self.
So now I totally feel like piece of s\*\*t. and so afraid to see her in office tomorrow
**Edit**: Thanks guys for the support. like most of you suggested I understood I've burnt that bridge and need to give her space. This hurt like hell and my immediate response was directed towards self destructive behavior. but I'll talk to my therapist asap. For coming days, I'll try and be content with myself (with purpose and things that matters) and building healthy relationships with myself and people around me and creating friends.
TL;DR overinvestment result in worst romance story.
Darryl_Lict: You should try to connect with people on a human level without regard to their age or sex. Try to develop normal personal skills and once you figure that out and gain some conversational skills you can start making better friends and then work you way up to a relationship.
18-1-14-4-15-13: You’re not wrong at all Darryl, but what if you can’t talk to people at all? Very rarely I can talk to someone I’ve never met before like an actual person cause it’s like my brain just turns off. This isn’t just with people I’ve liked or had an interest in, just everyone
Darryl_Lict: I used to be a lot more reticent. I think it was because I was the youngest kid in a big family and really insecure. I was lucky enough to be able to go away for college, and had a chance to develop social skills, although it took forever to do it. Gradually I managed to figure it out and be more social, but I got a lot better after college and then met a bunch of gregarious roommates in grad school. It's a damn long process, but I don't have social anxiety any more, so that makes it a lot easier.
Just walk before you run. When I'm traveling I notice that old people in bars are more than happy to chit chat and my opening line is always "Are you from around here?". Either they are or not, and if they are in town, I ask them how it used to be. I'm a pretty good traveler, so I can actually make some comment about where they are from if they don't live there. In any case, you've got to practice and try to get a bit of conversation going. Don't worry about it if they don't want to talk, and try again next time.
| 4 | 31.75 | |
1660261526 | 1660272720 | t3_wm5z6m | t5_2to41 | 21 | caseyfrazanimations: TIFU by not cleaning my work truck out
Technically yesterday, but I faced the consequences of my actions today... I am a UPS driver and a lot of the time after a long day I hop out of my truck exhausted ready to go home, but completely forgetting to grab my trash out of the truck and go home. Well today one of my co-workers approached me pissed off telling me that "I left trash in his truck" and "nobody wants to touch your garbage". So I went to his truck and grabbed my 2 tea bottles of garbage and threw them away. I agree, I wouldn't want to touch peoples trash either so I promptly apologized... Then later on while driving on route today I realized I didn't throw away my piss bottle and he texted me flipping out how I'm a disgusting POS, then called my phone to inform me how much of a disgusting pos I am. So yeah, I'm gonna remember for the future to clean my truck out at the end of my day.
TL;DR I left 2 tea bottles and a piss bottle in my UPS truck and my co-worker wanted to kick my ass.
Both-Pop-7957: Why not just use the facilities at one of the stops? That's fuckin gross thing to do unless it is a dire emergency and when that happens you get rid of the bottle right away.
caseyfrazanimations: I deliver out in the country, and I couldn't dump the pee because I was in someones driveway. Also we're pushed to just keep moving and waste little time so I ended up forgetting because I got caught up in the heat of trying to get done.
Both-Pop-7957: If you get that pushed by an employer I feel bad for you.
caseyfrazanimations: Make the big bucks for a reason :/
My coworkers tell eachother to "just stop giving a f*ck"
Both-Pop-7957: I guess if that's the goal that makes sense.
| 6 | 3.5 | |
1660261838 | 1660267811 | t3_wm635a | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU; by looking like a total perv around kids.
[deleted]
asphaltere: A well told story, though a bit unrealistic
Smirkydarkdude: Well I don't know how well it was told but I agree with you. My life is a gigantic FU and most days I don't even believe it and I'm living it.
| 3 | 2 | |
1660265182 | 1660265852 | t3_wm7aj4 | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending something indecent to the prime minister!
[deleted]
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: Why tf do you have the PM in your snap?
CorsicaAqua: Lol I don't thats the thing I don't have many friends on Snapchat and famous people come below my friends on snap like a recommended thing ahha I'm not weird I promise
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: I'm just waiting for the update. "Boris screen recorded my clam"
CorsicaAqua: Loll I hope that never happens 😅
| 5 | 7 | |
1660264063 | 1660322618 | t3_wm6w95 | t5_2to41 | 31 | Double-Baby-4535: TIFU by "poisoning" my husband with some brownies I made...
No, not those kind of brownies.
Over the weekend, the family was supposed to go to a block party, so I made a big pan of brownies to take with me. We were out of eggs but I didn't want to go to the store. I used an egg substitute, and the brownies turned out perfectly!
Due to a poorly timed thunderstorm, the party was postponed. Brownies won't keep for two weeks, so I let the family have some. My husband has been going to town on these brownies over the past couple days. Two nights ago, he woke up with bloating and stomach pain. Couldn't go to the bathroom, and "felt like he had a watermelon stuck in his lower intestine." He was like that through the whole day and kept getting worse to the point where I was ready to take him to the ER.
I went out to the store to get him some gas-x and laxatives hoping one of the two might help. While grabbing a few other things, I pass by a bag of ground flaxseed. Put it in my cart because I'm running low after using it to replace the eggs in the brownies I made, and it occurs to me that I may have just figured out what's wrong with my husband...
It turns out that too much flaxseed can cause gas, bloating, constipation, and stomach pain... Whoops!
TL:DR - I made brownies using ground flaxseed instead of eggs. My husband ate too many and ended up with major stomach problems
Edit: added in the middle part of my story which somehow got cut out before it posted (probably by my toddler messing with my phone while I was trying to write this out)
Fancy_Introduction60: Probably would have been worse if you had made "those" brownies!
I didn't know flax was a good sub for eggs! Good to know.
Hope he's feeling much better.
insufferableninja: Mayo is also a good substitute, for those of us that don't keep flax seed around
Fancy_Introduction60: Funny you should say that.
My sister is an awesome cook and baker. She told me her "hack" for making cake mix taste like home made. Substitute the eggs and oil with mayo.
This was years ago, a true IFU. I didn't have mayo, but I DID have miracle whip, so I used that instead. OMG it was AWEFUL. My husband said it tasted like it should have served on a bed of lettuce 😂😂😂.
I have never lived it down. Now were talking about 30 years ago!!
insufferableninja: 😂
Fancy_Introduction60: BTW, I don't bake anymore! I wonder why 😂😂
| 6 | 5.166667 | |
1660267034 | 1660337713 | t3_wm7yzb | t5_2to41 | 380 | Alternative_Put_1065: TIFU by telling the delivery man that he has the wrong address.
I currently live with 6 people, each with their own jobs and money so as you can expect we get a lot of mail and packages to our house.
I was waiting for my food to be delivered when I heard a knock on the door. I go to answer it and see the delivery man outside holding a package. He asks “does this person live here” to which I responded with a no. The address was correct but the name didn’t belong to anyone living here.
My food eventually arrive and one of my housemates are on the phone with a friend wondering where their package is. I realized that they had the package delivered in their friend name and since I didn’t know I sent the package away.
I haven’t told them that I sent the package away thinking it was a mistake. Hopefully they’re able to get their package.
TL;DR: I told the mailman that a package belonging to my roommate didn’t live here.
Kitttieluv: The polite thing to do would have been for your roommate to let everyone know they were expecting a package under some other name so you knew it was coming.
KBunn: Or maybe going to answer the door himself when it rang?
| 3 | 126.666667 | |
1660266382 | 1660321612 | t3_wm7qf7 | t5_2to41 | 2 | lemon-orca: TIFU by leaving my sister alone at home
A bit of context - my (17m) younger sister (15f) has show choir boot camp this week. It's very physically demanding and has left her coming home absolutely exhausted. She hasn't even eaten dinner the past two nights, just went straight to bed after soaking her feet in a hot peppermint oil bath. Last night she fell asleep while her feet were still soaking.
Now here's where I fucked up. My little brother (10m) has jiu jitsu three nights a week. Every now and then I go and watch him. Tonight was one of those nights. I went to my sister's room before I left to tell her what we were having for dinner, mentioned that I'd be at our brothers jiu jitsu practice, and left. Halfway through watching my brother wrestle with other ten-year-olds and listen to an old dude laugh at them whenever they fell, my sister called me. She was hysterical and asked me where I was and why the house was so dark. I reminded her that I was with our brother and asked what happened. Apparently when I told her I was leaving, she was just falling asleep and she didn't hear me. She woke up and had a panic attack when everything was quiet and no one was home. I apologized, called her a baby (jokingly) she told me to fuck off (jokingly) and hung up. The first thing she did when I got home was flip me off.
TL;DR: My sister is an idiot and woke up thinking I abandoned her, so she freaked out.
Kaladorph: Sounds like a her problem not a you problem. You didn't fuck up at all. She's old enough to handle being home alone. Cut the umbilical cord already.
lemon-orca: This was more about me fucking up by not making sure she knew I was leaving, not to mention she was definitely delirious seeing as she's been at boot camp for 9 hours a day every day this week.
Kaladorph: Nah. She's old enough. And how is a 15 year old in boot camp?
xxZenjixx: He said "Show Choir Boot Camp". Did you just read the title and skip to making rude comments?
Kaladorph: Nah. I read it at work. Must have missed that. But that's even less of an excuse lmao
| 6 | 0.333333 | |
1660268097 | 1660285547 | t3_wm8crt | t5_2to41 | 12 | Hemakster69: TIFU by using my visa on the internet
Hi I am 19 year old boy in highschool I live with my parents we are a broke family my parents are both working 24/7 to pay for my education they are doing there best to make me fell like a middle class kid and I am grateful to them the problem started last month my mom is hiding money from my dad to explain shortly my dad doesn't love my mum he doesn't care about her he always selfish only cares about himself he doesn't want to pay any of the pills he says that since my mom is working she should pay all our pills he doesn't live with us he lives in another city he comes every weekend so my mom hides money from him to make us look like we don't have any money so he would at least pay some pills so last month I told my mum that I need her money to put it in a bank so my father won't find them she was sceptical but agreed I took all her money and put in a bank account I'm new to banks so l put the money in the bank got the visa and wanted to check if it works so u bought a game of google play it worked used again to buy steam gift cards from a website and it also worked left it and didn't check on it today I wanted to buy something for my mom so I used the visa and it told me I don't have enough money I checked my account and it was empty I called the bank and they listed of all the purchases made by my card I know that ifu by using it in that website I can't brith sinc then if my mom knows she would die I think I am going to die if anyone knows a way of making money fast in about a month tell me I am dying I should have checked my account every now and then I shouldn't have signed with it in the internet if it's not my money I probably used my account in an website that i don't remember Ifu and don't know what to do about it
TL;DR I took my mom's money and put it in a bank account my money got stolen if my mum know she would die and I am looking for a way to make that money back even if It requires skill
ChronicallyToast: You just need to talk to the bank. Fraud can be reversed.
Hemakster69: I talked to the bank and they told me that the money was used in a website called (riot Dublin) searched it and found out it's a bar in Ireland and told me they couldn't do anything about it
ChronicallyToast: What country are you located in?
Hemakster69: Egypt the money that was stolen was around 500 $ since one dollar is nearly 18 to 20 egp and my parents combined make less than 1000 bucks a year
Satorainius: You are probably wrong. It is not a bar it is riot games in Dublin. They make games like league of legends rune terra tft and Wildrift.
That money was probably used for ingame purchase in one of their mobile games.
| 6 | 2 | |
1660267957 | 1660368442 | t3_wm8ayn | t5_2to41 | 200 | GiantAnteater8: TIFU by signing a waiver to leave my tour group and explore Beijing zoo
Obligatory this didn't happen today, and is a rather long story.
My mother (40f) and I (23f) went on a cheap trip to China, that included tour guides, flights and accommodation. One of my most anticipated parts of the trip was going to Beijing zoo, i really love the zoo, make it a point to visit whenever I go on holidays. I was so excited to spend my day exploring this zoo.
The bus trip there seemed to fly by but looking back probably took 1.5-2 hours. When we got there everyone unloaded and we started into the zoo, but not the main entrance, off to the right. It was nicely panda themed and busy, and the tour went through, we saw beautiful giant pandas, spent maybe a half hour there and they circled back to the end of the panda section and to a gift shop, where they announced the zoo tour would soon come to an end.
I was flabbergasted! A whole zoo but the tour only went through the panda section. I went to our tour guide and asked to stay longer, pleaded to see the whole zoo, he was adamant that couldn't be done and we had to leave soon, but I kept it up as did my mother. Eventually he goes off and makes a phone call to his superior? perhaps,
He comes back and says okay, you can leave the tour group but you will have to sign a waiver to leave it, mum and I agree and sign the waiver, he hands us a business card of our hotel so when we are finished it would be easy to direct a taxi there. Sweet I thought, and we parted ways with the tour group and set off on our own towards the main entrance. Now I'm not well travelled, and coming from the panda section that was busier and had a good number of tourists, i was also not prepared...
The main zoo was very quiet, not really any staff around at all, i also grossly underestimated the size of this zoo. Very quickly as we meandered through the rows and rows of cages and animal species, we realised how much we stood out, there were not really any other tourists in this part of the zoo. As we kept walking and encountered more people it started to get creepy, we would turn around to look behind us and a group of people would scatter with their phones out, some bolder and would continue to photograph or record us. Others would come up next to us and take selfies, we had a few instances of weaving through the zoo to lose some older gentlemen that were following us around.
Oh how the turn tables, it's like we were the interesting animal. I swear we walked through that zoo for nigh on 6 hours, and we hadn't even covered a third of it, let alone the aquarium. I could of kept going but it was getting on in the day and my mum was pretty tired at this point so we wrapped it up.
We walked out the front onto the busy streets of the city and hailed down a taxi, we showed him our card for the hotel (Oh yeah can't speak a lick of the language) and he promptly shook his head and drove away, so we hailed another who also refused, and another. This continued for maybe an hour or longer, why were all these taxis refusing to drive us? I was starting to panic, we must of looked pretty flustered because we had a man in an unmarked black car drive up to us, asking "taxi?", to which we strongly declined shooing him off and saying you're no taxi mate.
I was desperate, imagining scenarios where we had to go to the police, or find some sort of embassy, not knowing the language and only having this stupid hotel card. Again we tried, went up to an old taxi guy pulled over, we showed him the card and he shook his head, but this time we pleaded and begged him to please take us, it took some convincing but eventually he agreed! I was so happy, and off we went.
The drive took forever... i had no idea where we were, the signs are in Chinese, the place was huge. We drove for maybe 2-2.5 hours (staying in Tianjin). It was well dark by now. The taxi man starts pulling into a hotel, indicating we had arrived, and my heart skipped a beat again. It was the wrong hotel, we had no clue where we were, and at this point refused to leave the taxi. Both us and the taxi man were trying to overcome our linguistic barriers, he probably telling us to fuck right off, and us trying to tell him it was the wrong hotel, showing the card again. A hotel assistant comes up to the taxi to ask if we need help, him and the taxi guy start talking profusely, the taxi guy gives the bellhop our hotel card, and now they are both trying to figure out where to take us.
They must come to some conclusion because we start off again in the taxi for another maybe 10 minutes, and relief, it's the right hotel. The taxi fair only came out to about $45 AUD or thereabouts, we tipped profusely and enjoyed being back in the comfort of the group.
TL;DR ... Signed a waiver to leave tour group and explore Beijing zoo, got secretly photographed, tried to leave but no one would drive us, finally found a driver who took us to the wrong hotel, but ended up safe and sound.
Infamous-Magician505: By reading your post I came to the conclusion that you're not that bright.
GiantAnteater8: And by the looks of your profile, neither are you…
Infamous-Magician505: btw how many ants could you eat in a minute ?
GiantAnteater8: At least 20
Infamous-Magician505: isn't that quite slow for a giant anteater 😕. You must be hungry, don't eat me though, I'm not an ant 🤗😏
GiantAnteater8: I’m sure you could magic your way out of an anteater attack, the old switcharoo
Infamous-Magician505: magical ant 🐜
| 8 | 25 | |
1660269972 | 1660272032 | t3_wm90ir | t5_2to41 | 4 | sinfonisa: TIFU by making a laxative and drink it as juice
Yesterday night, the little chef inside was a little anxious, so I made a juice of papaya, pineapple and oats, thinking it would be a nice juice and because those were the only fruits I had at the moment. In the beginning it was nice, it was thick as I like and had a nice flavor cuz the papaya was ripe.
What I didn't know was that this shit is mixed to clean up the colon. And I drank like 3 cups of it.
So there I was, in the middle of the night sleeping placidly when a huge urgency of going to the bathroom hit me on my digestive system. Hit me really hard and it end up empty my intestine. I would have been really funny and alarming to see me at that moment, I felt I was gonna die. What made it worse is the that I have flu and due this I thought it was COVID, but it isn't.
TLDR: Papaya and oats are mixed to clean the colon, didn't know it and drank 3 cups of it.
dylc: But your colon is squeaky clean
sinfonisa: Ohh sure it is
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1660270855 | 1660272212 | t3_wm9by4 | t5_2to41 | 5 | demscaresxronnie: TIFU by neglecting my hair until it was too late
*This story does get long winded and moderately disgusting*
I (16M) have long, curly hair that is partly bleached (this detail will be relevant later on in the story)
Earlier today I came to the realization that over the span of a week of sleeping on my couch, my hair had become so severely tangled that it looked like there was a small rodent right in the middle. Now **please** don't think I was refusing to brush it for fun, I was doing it out of a pure sentiment; my best friend (16F) was staying over for a week, we were sleeping in the living room and I only get to see her about once a month, I absolutely didn't want any time to be deducted from our hang-out-time.
*"It takes me too long to dry it! I'll resist a week"*
I was confident since as a stinky preteen lad I'd definitely gone longer than a measly week without brushing my hair, what could possibly go wrong?
**Everything went wrong.**
I don't know what it was about my silly little couch cover that caused my hair to rebel with it's every fiber, but after only a day I could already tell there was some unusual tangling going on. Mind you I had it in a bun, not free roaming or anything. By the third day I realized it was gonna be a pain to brush out later, by the sixth I recognized I had a problem.
On the seventh day I was done, I felt disgusting, I wanted to take out the clump that had formed at the back of my head. So I looked at my friend and I told her *"My hair is out of control, wanna see how bad it got lol?".* I would not be laughing out loud for much longer.
We went into my bathroom and I kneeled in front of the bathtub, uncomfortable but of course I wouldn't have to hold the position for too long. So I took my hair out of the godforsaken bun, and immediately I hear the piercing sound of her laughing at me.
How hilarious.
So at 4PM my calvary begins, I give it a preliminary shampooing, rinse and begin to hack at the clump, which was about the size of a small apple for reference. 30 minutes later I managed to free some of my unbleached hair, as the bleach is at the very bottom of my head. This progress gave me some hope for my predicament, I was hoping to get it done quick.
4:45PM, my arm are tired and my friend is feeling particularly sadistic, so she makes the ungodly decision to give brushing a shot, another terrible mistake on my part. This girl momentarily decided murder was her calling and her life of crime would begin with me as her first victim; she almost breaks my neck, attempts to scalp me and nearly drowns me with the shower head alone.
I take back the hairbrush, I am not yet suicidal.
5:15PM rolls around and the clump has decreased to a plum size mixture of 75% blonde hairs from my underdye and 15% black hair, I grow relieved, my shirt is fully wet and it has to come off, my knees look like I fell 5 flights of stairs in the half kneeling position. My friend has left her criminal impulses behind and has now taken to watching cat videos, on my very own phone to add insult to injury.
By 5:50PM I am **done**, not actually done, mentally done, most of the black hair is out but the bleach is stubborn. Despite everyone's advice I refuse to cut my hair, the denial is strong, my love for my hair is slowly but surely crumbling under the immense pain my scalp is in.
As of 6PM I give up, the yellow clump is too tough for me, I am half expecting it to contain one of these porcelain bejewelled eggs that rich elderly people collect. Alas I chop it off and by all that is holy let me tell you that shit will be found by the alien race that exterminates us in a few thousand years, they will take it and put it in some museums like a cursed blonde bezoar.
We put it in a protein bar box and attempt to set it on fire, it's too wet to burn, we decide it has proven itself and it's now buried in my backyard. Hours later we went out to dinner and I had to pretend as if I had not just felt the effects of the hair rupture on my scalp. I eat my pizza holding back tears. I am a changed man.
\*\[\****TL;DR:*** *lived through 2 painful, painful hours of hairbrushing, humiliation form my very best friend and some new trauma all because I refused to do it sooner.\]*
pnksnchz: When I was sick I was too low energy to wash my hair for a while and it also got clumped really badly. I had long, very thick, and dyed hair. At the same time was when it would start falling out, so I would also refuse to brush it out and wash it because it made me super depressed to see clumps clinging to the hairbrush. After like 2 weeks, we shaved it all off and it was one of the saddest days of my life
demscaresxronnie: I get not brushing because of hair loss, it's not the same but I struggle with anorexia and I've experienced some bad fallout :( it's one of the reasons I decided to grow my hair out in recovery
pnksnchz: I hope you’re doing better :)
Growing hair out is a MAJOR pain. For me, at least. It’s been about 15 months and it’s only about an inch past my collarbones, AND it floops outward like I’m in the 70s 😑 I can’t even put it in a decent ponytail lmao
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1660271515 | 1660329471 | t3_wm9k5z | t5_2to41 | 12,521 | KILL-SWITCH12: TIFU by forgetting to register for an exam I've been studying for for 3 years every single day.
That’s it. That’s fucking it.
I have studied for this exam for the last 3 years every FUCKING DAY. When I checked the internet for registration dates, all I saw was “Last date – August 12” and what did I fucking do, I waited till August 12 which is today. Today, I went to their website to register and then I see that the last date to register was August 11 which is yesterday and the last date for FEE PAYMENT is today.
There’s absolutely nothing I can do. I just have to hope they extend the registration dates.
I want to die.
This is why you should do everything ASAP and not procrastinate it till the last day.
TL;DR I googled registration dates and saw “Last date – August 12” and waited till the last day only to realize that the last day for registration was August 11 and the last date for FEE PAYMENT is August 12, which is today.
EDIT: UPDATE: OMG GUYS THE DATES HAVE BEEN EXTENDED AAAAAAAAA
emmerjean: I did something similar. I don’t know what exam it is but mine was a final nursing exam. I showed up to the wrong campus, was like 30 min early so I waited in my car. When I realized my mistake it was too late to drive to the other one. I had to go to one I wasn’t signed up for and flubbed my way into it by insisting there was some sort of technical error. I’ll send positive energy your way. Good luck to you.
KILL-SWITCH12: THE DATES HAVE BEEN EXTENDED THANK YOU FOR YOUR POSITIVE ENERGY AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
stronesthrowaweigh: Please tell me you have already registered
shreyanshksp: Registration are open till 8 PM IST( Source= I am giving the same exam).
Kneegr0w_pass: Is it CAT?
shreyanshksp: JEE Advanced.
MatthewCrawley: I googled it and have no idea what kind of test it is
-Another_Redditor-: It's the exam that many Indians devote like 5 years of their life to prepare for, and which parents expect you to pass if you want to not be considered a failure at life
Basically a 6 hour exam with some of the hardest physics, maths and chemistry questions for a 12th grade level
MatthewCrawley: I’m glad my country just uses a random test you can’t really study for and peoples economic situations to determine that instead
shreyanshksp: It's really tough out here, I have been preparing for this exam for last two years in a multi-million dollar coaching institute which prepares students just to crack this exam. In India there is literary cities like KOTA dedicated where millions of students come from all across the country just to study. Selection percentage of IITs is 1% i.e. 10k students get accepted in 23 IITs across country out of 1mil. It might be the toughest PCM exam out there for highschool students.
runmothafuka: all the best bhai
| 12 | 1,043.416667 | |
1660275453 | 1660361989 | t3_wmax0e | t5_2to41 | 767 | 1ithe: TIFU by slightly overreacting a bit maybe
So I’m sitting on the couch and I’m reading, just about to go to bed. My fiancé, we’ll call him L, is already in bed. It’s 10:50 pm. All of a sudden, our glass storm door creaks open and our front door starts to open with it.
In three seconds, I’m across the room slamming the door shut with all of my body weight screaming “L SOMEONE IS COMING IN THE HOUSE!!!!”
In TWO seconds L is down stairs at the door holding it closed and politely asks the strange person to leave by yelling at the top of his lungs “HEY MOTHERFUCKER GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM OUR GODDAMN HOUSE”
Silence.
Then quietly “did you guys order a pizza?”
“HELL NO MOTHERFUCKER”
Adrenaline starts to fade a bit (for him, not me I’m still losing it) and he takes a look outside. There’s a car with a Domino’s pizza sign on it. Sooo…. long story short after we finished freaking out, calming down, laughing our butts off, then calming down again, I called our local domino’s and apologized for the misunderstanding. After a lot more laughter and a little bit of explaining, she assured me all was well and domino’s wouldn’t black list our home. I *miiight* have slightly overreacted and freaked myself, innocent pizza boy, and my fiancé out in the process. My nickname is Kat, but tonight it is Scaredy Kat. I still feel bad. Goodnight y’all.
TL;DR I thought a bad guy was coming to get me, and as a result of my assumption my fiancé almost beat up an innocent young man for bringing us surprise pizza. We were all quite scared.
Edit: No, we didn’t order the pizza. And we actually found out who mistakenly ordered it to our house!
Edit #2: I keep getting messages about this. *We did not order the pizza.* I’m sorry, I thought this was made pretty clear to everyone (esp. poor pizza guy) when the question was asked in the story and L responded “HELL NO MOTHERFUCKER”
TurkeyDinner547: What kind of hungry person forgot they ordered pizza? Also, keep your doors locked ffs.
1ithe: This is the real advice. I’m notoriously horrible about locking things for two reasons. One, I grew up in an area where no one locked their doors and everyone left their keys in their car in the driveway. Two, I’m an absolute idiot and think that because I got away with not locking anything when I grew up and moved to more risky areas, I can get away with not locking anything in my relatively safer neighborhood. It’s something I’m working on. You can bet the doors are locked tonight though!
King_Joda: Where did you grow up? Not being creepy, just need a new car
1ithe: Part of the reason it’s so safe is that the cops pull people over literally just for driving at night. There’s nothing to do, it’s a small town with no crime. The cops get bored. You do NOT want to go there. It’s on a mountain and a lot of locals in the valley say “I don’t travel X Mountain.”
Sea-Membership-7671: But I thought it was safe?? Do they say not to go there because of the police? Or are the townsfolk werewolves? Also, how often do you forget that you ordered pizza?
1ithe: Lol I clearly stated (or rather my fiancé did) that we did NOT order a pizza in the story! I don’t know how so many people are missing it! It’s the bit where the pizza guy asks if we ordered pizza and my fiancé informs him that “HELL NO MOTHER FUCKER”, we did not.
As for the small town, yeah generally people don’t go there at night and avoid it in general is because of the cops. Driving 5 mph over is a ticket. A lot of people drive 5 mph over.
Sea-Membership-7671: Haha ok just making sure :), it was just weird how so many people were asking and you were just ignoring them. Even in some of the comments you replied to it was like you completely ignored their question about ordering the pizza so I just had to ask for myself xD ty for answering!! I love the whole story btw, congratulations to you and your fiance!!
1ithe: I responded to most everyone who asked :) but when this all happened, it was already 10:50 and I was about to go to bed. I posted this on Reddit and went to sleep lol.
Sea-Membership-7671: Ooh I guess I didn't read all the comments then! I only saw the ones that didn't mention ordering the pizza you replied to, and then there was like one or two that mentioned the ordering of the pizza and other stuff and you didn't really reply to the pizza part of their comment! I figured as much cause you had replies like 4 hours after the post was made and then again like 12 hours after the post was made lol
| 10 | 76.7 | |
1660278799 | 1660282211 | t3_wmc0b3 | t5_2to41 | 28 | Longjumping-Film-619: TIFU by trying to hire an escort
Throw away for obvious reasons
I (21M) was bored and very horny one day and met this girl from Hinge, and she offered her services. Great, no problem, I have a little play money saved up, let's play. This is my first time doing this, so I had no clue what red flags to avoid (I know, I should've done my research prior to this), and she talked about a deposit for a booking, great, sent that. She sends me some very interesting videos that excites me, then she tells me I need to speak to her boss, okay I guess? He talks about some deposits so I sent those too, everything should be fine now right? Well, no, the night I was supposed to meet her, I get to the place and she said for me to wait a few minutes cause she's at her friend's house, no problem, I got time. Then she proceeds to say "Hey my friends want to come too so you're going to give them $1500", and I tell her, "No, I'm paying for your services, not theirs, they're staying home." I message her boss and tell him about the situation and he says "You're right about her friends, but you have to give her $1k for stressing her out, and she will see you immediately", to which I say, "No, I've already paid my fee to spend the night with her, I don't understand what the issue is." He then says "You can't get your refund sir until you see her, and she will get your deposit back to you." Long story short, she keeps requesting $1k from me, and I just ended up going home saying "Fuck, why am I so stupid?" I went to r/Escortclientsonly and the second thread I see is "Never send deposits first!", well shit... so now I'm down $6k.. good thing I hit 90 hours this week and it's almost time to collect rent from my tenants lol
TL:DR I was thinking with my dick and ended up losing $6k because I'm horny. Don't be like me guys gals and other pals, do your research first before looking for some fun
SnareXa: *almost time to collect rent from my tenants lol*
and with that one line you lost any sympathy you might have gotten lol
Longjumping-Film-619: yeah it does sound pretty scummy but I'm saying that because there's some income coming in at least, not a lot but something. But I get what you're saying
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: "there are people worse off than me that I can use to pay for sex"
| 4 | 7 | |
1660278660 | 1660284617 | t3_wmbyo3 | t5_2to41 | 19 | TheRealAwesome8: TIFU by getting my fingernail ripped off and a hole drilled in my thumb
A few days ago I was welding a piece of scrap to hone my nonexistant welding skills and me being the bonehead that I am, melted my whole ground clamp rendering it useless. So like any other person, i bought myself a nice shiny new one straight from the great factorys of china. It came today and the only thing I needed to do was drill the hole in the copper lug for the bolt to slide into. When i put the copper lug into the vise and started drilling, everything went great. Pilot hole drilled perfectly. Next up, the final diameter which was a 10mm drill bit.
Now for the epic FU.
Remember I said that I was drilling into a lug for a ground wire? Well, the wire was STILL ATTACHED. Guess what I was holding while drilling? Yup, the damn wire. As the drill was just about to punch through to the other side, it got caught. Not even half second did it take for it to reel my finger like an episode of "Wicked Tuna". Pulled my hand away and glanced down only to see a stream of blood squirting from my finger. Damn near passed out from all the blood. 2 agonizing hours later I finally take a look at the picture I had the nurse take only to see whats left of my thumb that could have been mistaken for ground beef on a stick with red food coloring to top it off. So kids what did we learn today?
DONT PUT YOUR DAMN HANDS NEAR RUNNING MACHINES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tldr I got my finger thoroughly shredded by a drill press and will never have a left thumb fingernail again probably
eyehatetofu: I use a handheld drill and drill press almost daily. I've lost a fingernail in a similar situation. Complacency can be brutal.
TheRealAwesome8: did it regrow?
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1660281163 | 1660285385 | t3_wmcqzf | t5_2to41 | 77 | Illustrious-Ad-7131: TIFU by getting a buttplug set
My GF (23F) and I (24M) have been together for two and a half years now. We have loved together for one year and everything is going great. Our sex life is amazing and everything is going smoothly.
I’m on reddit a lot and since I’m a horny mf, I researched a bit about sex and came across buttplugs and how they might enhance experience for sex. It caught my attention and I was kinda curious to see what was it all about.
I kept that idea on the backburner like ok that’s something that’s an option, but don’t wanna deal with that right now.
A few weeks ago my gf did the fake pegging while I was picking something up from the floor. She does that sometimes and it’s good fun. I always ask her if she’d want to actually do it, her answer is kinda no or maybe a sarcastic yes. So this time I said well maybe we could get some buttplugs and get me ready and she was like oh no yeah I don’t think so no.
There was a few twists in the plot, but last Saturday she said that we could order me some buttplugs. I said well yeah okay. And we did. I ordered a three piece set of them and some lube.
The package arrived yesterday. She instructed me to wait before trying them until we’re both home. I did. She was excited about them when she came home and so I went to the bedroom and tried one. She peeked in told me to show her. I did I was laying on the bed and I sort of showed her my ass. I didn’t sense anything wrong at that moment.
Later at lunch, she kindof joked kindof didn’t by saying oh no he gaaay he gay af. I was laughing, but then I saw that she’s kinda shook.
Turns out she’s convinced I’m gay now. She told me it’s the image of me with something in my butt that just clicked something in her.
She was shook for the rest afternoon, but she acted normal when we went shopping and when we were hanging out with friends.
Later in the evening I just had to finish something up for work when I hear sobbing. It’s my gf. I asked her what it was and she said it’s the thing with the buttplugs. I tried consoling her, but she was mostly apathetic towards my attempts.
She ended up sleeping in the living room and hasn’t said a word to me when she took dogs on a walk. We always walk them together btw.
So yeah that’s it. I didn’t even enjoy them that much. It was just the excitement of doing something a bit naughty and new. So that’s a shame. I just want to throw them away and never think about that again. I mean I 100% won’t use them while she’s near or maybe ever.
I’m expecting her to calm down. But yeah it’s still kinda crappy. We have to pack for pur vacation today and haven’t even started yet and she is in a bad mood plus she just got her period.
TLDR my girlfriend is convinced I’m gay because I got a buttplug set and when she saw me try one, she got convinced I’m gay
Horti_boi: She sounds like she needs a little prostrate education. G spots aren’t only for chicks
Illustrious-Ad-7131: Damn right haha
Horti_boi: I mean, she’d be right being a little sus if you were looking lustfully at large penises lol. However, a buzzing inanimate object in your back passage is fine
Illustrious-Ad-7131: It wasn’t even buzzing haha just an inanimate object.
Horti_boi: Ohhh, buzzing is another level my friend
Illustrious-Ad-7131: Haha god forbid she actually knows I’m enjoying it.
Horti_boi: See the trick is to buy her a little buzzing gift that you can both enjoy. Just wash it between swapping it between your bottom and her vajayjay and share the love.
Illustrious-Ad-7131: I actually got a couples vibrator in the same package. She’s not big on toys. And we haven’t tried it yet. I hope her period and her overreaction stops soon.
| 9 | 8.555556 | |
1660287159 | 1660474543 | t3_wmefzt | t5_2to41 | 2,085 | SaberHaven: TIFU by assuming an autistic girl knew we had a thing going on
[removed]
StuTaylor: 50yr old autistic guy here
I was shocked to be told later in life how many woman fancied me.
I never got the cues and flirting and always thought we were 'just friends'
I've had married woman tell me later that they really liked me when we were in our in late teens/early 20's
I never had many relationships and to find out years later how many girlfriends I could have had was really frustrating
Dheorl: Based on the number of “TIFU by not realising a girl liked me” posts on here, I think this is a thing universal for most guys
ModernLeper_22: I’m a 52 year old woman and I would have no clue. I’m single again and still clueless. Mind you exceptional ugliness is a bit of a barrier too lol
no_talent_ass_clown: I'm roughly your age too. Post-menopausal women have superpowers!
1. We can be invisible if we want! Simply dress comfy and watch as you blend into the scenery.
2. We can make anything uncool simply by saying or doing it! I, personally, have stopped several words from spreading any further. Yeet!
ModernLeper_22: I’ve been invisible my entire life. I was always the one standing at the bar on my own or crying in the toilets. I had a really bad and noticeable strabismus till I was 27 so no guys came near me, unless it was for a bet or they were too drunk to notice. Now it’s because I’m an old hag
Nah, I still keep up with music and I know a lot of stuff. Unfortunately most men our age haven’t listened to new music since the 90s
I’m going through a pretty major depressive episode partly because of it. Especially because my ex got together with his dream girl from school about 5 seconds after we broke up but were stuck in a house together during lockdown in secret for 14 months.
I can’t even get a second date. Last time the guy texted me 15 minutes after he left me to say there was no ‘romantic connection’. I hadn’t even left the pub. I burst out crying, asked him if it was because of my ugliness, then got drunk and posted about being an ugly old hag, backed by pics of Sloth from the Goonies. I have now deleted my socials
no_talent_ass_clown: How's your hair though? And your figure? I know you have best qualities, what are they??
ModernLeper_22: My brain
| 8 | 260.625 | |
1660289438 | 1661669589 | t3_wmf28m | t5_2to41 | 20 | InteractionFancy3747: TIFU. I've noticed my wife being weird and was told my wreck I was in 3 months ago that I was drunk. 🙃
The "TIFU" happened in the past.. On
May 13th, 2022... was truly a day things changed for me, my brain, my car, and my relationship with my wife and family. It all went down hill for me. I was severely stressed out after issues with my work, family issues with my brother in law who is married to my sister, home repair issues, and probably even more. Well on the day before I just turned in my notice to quit work, the day was rough but maybe a godsend? No no it wasn't. That month was also the 1 year anniversary of my dad committing suicide. I just was not in a good head space and learned a while back that the men in my dad's side of the family all have bad luck with alcohol. Who would have thought... well my wife finally let me know what most likely happened the night I thought I blacked out when driving home from work really happened. Apparently coworkers had offered me rides home and more and I turned everyone down. Instead I decided to be an idiot and risk the drive home while drunk. Well lucky me huh? I should have died between the TBI, broken jaw in two spots, neck and back vertebrae fractures, my fractured elbow, and a deflated left lung. The cops had my medevaced to a ER where I spent 5 days knocked out trying to save my life. I had some crazy ass hallucinations during that time. When I finally come to, the nurse was coming into my room to give me more meds, check my vitals, and shave my head. I had a sensor put in my skull area to monitor my head after some bleeding pressures. After that it was time for my transfer to a rehab facility for two more weeks. After a few weeks I began noticing my wife acting distant to me amd was curious as to why. Today I finally confronted her and learned the truth of what happened. Now that I know what happened I just want to do and know what to do to save my relationship and marriage with my family. I'm so far thankful that I'm as of today 3 months clean from alcohol.
TL;DR over the past few weeks my wife had been distant, finally confronted her and learned the truth about the night I wrecked driving drunk.
InteractionFancy3747: Update: learned my wife started to cheat on me, we are being respectful to each other but are separating when we can get the paperwork done.
Gr8gaur: So she doesn't want to reconcile ? How long she's been doing this ?
InteractionFancy3747: As far as I know since April.
Gr8gaur: And she straightaway asked for divorce ! What was her plan had u not caught her ?
InteractionFancy3747: Just to keep the lie going.
| 6 | 3.333333 | |
1660295072 | 1660333332 | t3_wmgk0k | t5_2to41 | 28,339 | NotHurtButHigh: TIFU my entire night
First throwaway account I've ever created. Never thought I'd need one until now.
I'm a 19 year old guy and what I'm about to share happened two nights ago.
I'm not good at writing stories like most of the people who share their experiences on this sub, so I've taken a page out of the greentext handbook and listed the events:
1. Girl on Tinder invited me to her house.
2. Sex was implied.
3. I've never had sex.
4. I asked my roommate for advice.
5. Roommate suggested I smoke weed before meeting Tinder Girl.
6. I said okay.
7. Roommate realized he was out of weed and made a new suggestion: shrooms.
8. I said I've never had shrooms and asked if it was safe.
9. Roommate said: "safe as long as you're not chronically depressed or some shit" and advised me to eat the shrooms with a chocolate bar to mask the bad taste.
10. I said I didn't think I was depressed, but that might change once the night was over.
11. Roommate supplied me with 2 grams of shrooms, which was mild according to him.
12. I ate the shrooms with an orange and booked an Uber to take me to Tinder Girl's house.
13. Uber driver's head was bigger than any human head I've ever seen, but it was too soon to confirm if I was experiencing shroom vision or meeting an Uber driver who happened to have a really big head.
14. Uber driver's massive head was even bigger by time we got to my destination.
15. It was indeed shroom vision.
16. The moment I saw Tinder Girl in person, I noticed she was pregnant, 6 months and 22 days pregnant based on the details she provided before inviting me into her house.
17. Tinder Girl apologized for not telling me about the pregnancy, but assured me the dad was no longer in the picture and sex was "suuuuuuper healthy" for unborn babies.
18. I said I always wanted to have a threesome and laughed hysterically.
19. I didn't understand what was so funny, but I was unable to stop laughing.
20. Tinder Girl gave me a glass of water and asked if I wanted to sit down.
21. I sat down on the carpet and noticed a handbag with a bird on it.
22. I realized that if I concentrated on the bird, I could see it moving in slow motion towards the corner of the handbag.
23. I have no idea how long I was staring at the bird, but at some point Tinder Girl managed to contact one of her neighbors, without me knowing, to come and escort me out of her house because my presence was making her uncomfortable.
24. I walked home in the middle of the night because I was afraid I would end up with another big headed Uber driver.
25. I got home with my virginity still intact, wondering what would've happened if that bird made it to the end of the handbag.
Next time, no drugs lol.
***TL:DR Girl on Tinder invited me to her house to have sex. Being a virgin, I asked my roommate for guidance. He suggested shrooms. I ate the shrooms. Got high on the way to the girl's house. Found out the girl was 6 months pregnant when we met in person, which was a massive red flag that I ignored due to the condition I was in. Pregnant girl realized something was wrong with me and became so uncomfortable she called her neighbor to kick me out of her house and leave me on the street in the middle of the night.***
Failfish2015: Your roommate must've known what he did lmao, what a dickhead
NotHurtButHigh: He always has weed. Always. He knew what the fuck he was doing.
Dizzy-Sprinkles1465: 2g is an intense dose.
FOR YOUR FIRST TIME.
JayAllOverYourBees: ?? Splitting an eighth with a buddy isn't *that* intense, is it?
I'm genuinely asking, because anything less than an eighth just makes me feel on edge, but I mean, I've done a lot of psychedelics over the years.
So I've kinda forgotten what it's like.
passive_paranoia: This poor bastard took an 8th alone for his first time tho.
JayAllOverYourBees: 2g isn't an eighth. 3.5g is an eighth.
He basically did a little over the "classic first trip dose" of shrooms, which is a half-eighth (1.75g) and your buddy takes the other half-eighth. Or your girlfriend if you're the luckiest lil teenager alive.
I'm not saying it wouldn't have been a good trip, I'm just confused that someone would call 2g intense.
Cyaral: Are you by any chance neurodivergent? Because some drugs barely work or work differently on us. My meds would be a good time for a neurotypical, but just make me more functional/awake.
LesterOfTheWeevils: Is this why cocaine doesn't work for me?
TaoChi27: I'd be hard pressed to run into someone who says: "Whenever I buy coke, it never works for me".
I'm led to believe you try other people's coke. I'm further led to believe your other people's have incredibly shitty coke.
Cyaral: Oh no, cocain is actually one of the most known drugs that "dont work" for ADHD folks - some actually self-medicate with it either consciously or subconsciously. AFAIK its because cocain raises the serotonine level - and ADHD means low serotonin levels in the brain, so a "normal" dose of coke just raises you to neurotypical levels (similar to some actual ADHD meds).
Addendum: I dont do recreational drugs, but I am fascinated by molecular biology AND have ADHD myself, so once I googled why coffeine doesnt really cut it for me, which led to a research rabbithole.
TaoChi27: While I'm not doubting you: do you have legitimate scientific studies to back this up for further reading and are you willing to share here?
Cyaral: Much of it was also just talking to my doc but I can give you some sources:"ADHD subjects may use stimulants as a way to manage symptoms of impulsivity, restlessness and inattentiveness by obtaining a “calming” effect arising from an increased, specifically dopaminergic transmission (which is dysfunctional in ADHD)."
"Cocaine inhibits the reuptake of dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin from the synaptic cleft, enhancing the stimulation mediated by these monoamines \[39\]. The net effect, in non-ADHD individuals, is a global psychomotor activation involving increased arousal, euphoria and increased vigilance and alertness. Cocaine acts on the systems that appear to be damaged in ADHD patients which are, in fact, the primary target for the pharmaceutical treatment of the disorder."
Spera V, Pallucchini A, Carli M, Maiello M, Maremmani AGI, Perugi G, Maremmani I. Does Cannabis, Cocaine and Alcohol Use Impact Differently on Adult Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder Clinical Picture? J Clin Med. 2021 Apr 2;10(7):1481. doi: 10.3390/jcm10071481. PMID: 33918432; PMCID: PMC8038274. (Quotes are from this source, as it is more general than the second source that only looks at two cases - but the first quoted the second one for this part, so it had to be included)
Mariani JJ, Khantzian EJ, Levin FR. The self-medication hypothesis and psychostimulant treatment of cocaine dependence: an update. Am J Addict. 2014 Mar-Apr;23(2):189-93. doi: 10.1111/j.1521-0391.2013.12086.x. Epub 2013 Sep 13. PMID: 25187055; PMCID: PMC4227391.(As well as the original article this is an update to)
TaoChi27: Interesting, what kind of effects does alcohol have on you? If any at all?
Cyaral: Regular I presume? I dont like many alcoholic drinks so I rarely drink, or if I do I only drink 1-2 drinks. (Despite how common addictive behaviour is for ADHD folks I am a goody two shoes. My relationship to food, video games and coffee is fucked but all else is alright). Never got to the level of blackout or headache. If I drink with my friends I havent seen much difference between their and my reactions though.
LesterOfTheWeevils: Alcohol is pretty standard, although I despise the loss of control that goes with it. I got drunk with my friends from about 17-20, then stopped drinking nearly completely. Not from some kind of prohibitionist rhetoric or anything, I just once again, cannot stand not being in control of myself. Some of my worst memories are being absolutely drunk off my ass, so I stopped.
That being said, I definitely smoke a about a gram of weed a day and play a shit load of video games. I've gotten the "you should probably see a doctor about being on the aspergers/autism spectrum" and I just finished an ADHD test that said its likely, but I'm like 35, and I've adjusted (to greater or lesser extent... Still working on not writing people books in text messages) to life fairly well, soooooo....
Not to toot my own horn here, but I consistently test with a very high IQ, and I can see math and hold numbers in my mind better than most... I always kind of wondered if I was just a messed up human being that learned to adapt because I can see cause and effect very well (most times, these days... When I was a kid, terrible shit flew straight out of my mouth without a second thought, until I saw the socially awkward reaction creep into the room).
Cyaral: My doc told me the reason Im "kinda" well adapted even without meds (got dxed at 24) and managed to finish school and my bachelors degree is also because Im smart. It seems to be able to counterbalance ADHD at least a bit.
That being said: JESUS FUCK LIFE IS SO MUCH EASIER WITH THE RIGHT MEDS!
| 17 | 1,667 | |
1660295724 | 1660369890 | t3_wmgq09 | t5_2to41 | 15 | maytas2601: TIFU by sneezing while eating my girlfriend out
This has got to be among the most embarrassing moments I’ve been a part of. So yesterday night, my girlfriend and I had an amazing dinner with some alcohol. That, coupled with the high of winning a couple of games on PS5 gave us enough momentum to take things to the bed and get down to business.
My girlfriend usually takes a little more time than usual to orgasm and I like going down on her so it’s a win-win for both of us.
Yesterday while being in the moment, I started to go down on her and she pulled the blanket up to cover herself and me (it was a little cold).
A little detail, generally when I go down, I start by kissing her on her neck and slowly make my way down, kissing her all over.
Yesterday, in the heat of the moment, I made a beeline directly down below.
I don’t know if it were the cold(her one leg was partially out of the blanket), the 3 day stubble down there, or the fact that since I didn’t go down my normal route and hence was not stable enough for the oral - my nose felt itchy.
Tried controlling it for a couple of mins but couldn’t hold back and ended up moving my head out to sneeze a couple of times.
We had a good laugh about this post that while cleaning up but Safe to say sex was ruined and so is the week as she promised she’ll not let me forget this for sometime.
TL;DR - TIFU by sneezing while giving head to my girlfriend, ruined sex and had a laugh about it while internally crying.
slarti54: If sneezing ruins sex, you're doing it wrong.
Boxofcookies1001: I like it when my gf coughs/sneezes and I can feel her cooch squeeze down. Adds a different layer of randomness.
slarti54: Covid has had some upsides.
Ag3ntS1: r/cursedcomments?
| 5 | 3 | |
1660293844 | 1660298605 | t3_wmg895 | t5_2to41 | 5 | throwaway181pp: TIFU by being insensitive to a disabled person
TLDR: Watched a wavywebsurfvideo about a disabled person, showed the clip of Zilian and the other streamer misunderstood the other streamer as tryig to disprove him, and I said something incredibly insensitive to him.
I was watching a wavywebsurf video about ZilianOP (the one where he interviewed him and stuff) but before he actually interviewed him, he showed a clip of Zilian explaining himself and another streamer watching Zilian explain himself.
Thinking that the other streamer (on the right side) was trying to disprove him. When the other streamer said along the lines of “June 9th, 2012, he was disabled outside, not on stream”, I accidentally said “Yeah, so?” and it just went wrong. I immediately regret it, and teared up for a bit. I tried reassuring myself that I misunderstood it, but I still feel like at fault.
ActualBruh_Moment: Wasn't Zilean the dude just standing up from the wheelchair like Jesus gave him a miracle?
Also this text is really confusing and not good to read.
throwaway181pp: Yea but he cleared some things up in his interview with wavy
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660302262 | 1660372694 | t3_wmihwx | t5_2to41 | 6,294 | OhNo_WhatDidIDo: TIFU by calling my girlfriend fat
This occurred two nights ago, and all is well now, because unlike romantic comedies would have us believe, communication is a real thing. However, this does not stop my feelings of abject mortification when thinking of what transpired.
&#x200B;
Some background: My girlfriend and I have been together for one year, and I think she is adorable and sexy. She is also objectively overweight, but I've always loved the Rubenesque figures, and I find the softness such a turn on. My girlfriend, however, is always down on herself for not looking like whatever Instagram model is on her feed. She does exercise about thirty minutes every other day, and eats relatively healthily, which may not be enough for her to lose weight, but maintains her current stature. As far as health goes, she has good blood pressure, blood sugar, and her labs are a good clean bill of health (I say all this because Reddit can sometimes interject on people's best interests before reading the whole story).
&#x200B;
The incident: Two nights ago, we were having sex (yes I know, TIFU is basically erotica these days). She was riding me, and I was transfixed by the jiggle of her belly, and the wobble of her hips. It was a wonderful sight to behold. In a moment of unadulterated arousal, my lizard brain moves my hands to squish her belly as I grunt out,
&#x200B;
"God, you're so fat!"
&#x200B;
I can immediately see what I've done, but the moment is too late, and I've shot my load. She rolls off of me, goes to the bathroom, and proceeds to climb into bed and hide her body beneath the covers. Now, she is no idiot, she knows she is overweight, but to be reminded of it in a moment where she was trying to feel sexy was a breaking point for her.
&#x200B;
I cuddle her as soon as she allows me, and whisper how beautiful I think she is, and how sexy she certainly is. She said that while she knows she could do more to lose weight, it can be tough with her current schedule (she's in medical school at present). I reassured her that while I find her current figure to be the most divine creation, if and when she wants to dedicate more time to losing weight, I'll be there for her; however, as long as she is healthy, I really do love every curve, dimple, and roll on her.
&#x200B;
She told me that me grabbing her belly caught her by surprise and immediately brought her out of her sexy state, but now that she is 100% sure I find it a turn on, she is happy that I love it, and will let me continue to do so (I'm ecstatic).
&#x200B;
TLDR: I grabbed my girlfriend's belly during sex and called her fat.
Otfd: Lucky you.
My girlfriend would've literally murdered me.
Fishliketrish: Yeah as a girl i would’ve had to kill you then myself. This woman is a keeper lol
Nuicakes: Ditto. I wouldn't have even spent the night. Telling a woman that she's fat is like telling a man that his dick is small.
(Edited to add).
Yes, I know that it's perceived as easier to lose weight vs change anatomy but I'm trying to express the level of hurt in both statements.
I_wanna_b_d1: I get what you're saying and I think the comparison of how much each comment hurts is valid but don't get it twisted. It's not a perception that it's easier to lose weight vs change anatomy....men cannot lengthen their penises while the vast majority of women can safely and comfortably lose weight if they choose to do so
UrbanMuffin: This is pretty irrelevant though, for what Nuicakes is conveying. Them being able to lose weight does not make it somehow more justifiable to say those things, and while it is possible to lose weight, that doesn’t mean it’s not much harder for some people than others. There are a lot of things that affect people’s ability to lose weight, like medical problems that affect the metabolism, medications, a food addiction, mental illness or depression/grief, chronic pain, autoimmune disorders etc.
I_wanna_b_d1: Meh, it seems pretty relevant. Those things make losing weight harder sure but not impossible - whereas dick size is purely genetic
UrbanMuffin: No, it’s completely irrelevant to what they stated. You’re just trying to make it relevant like it’s some excuse to treat one differently from the other because one can’t help it. This is like saying poor people can easily and comfortably become wealthy when they’re starting from a much greater disadvantage. Like telling them to just be rich, because it’s *possible* to be.
It’s also genetic to have some of the things I listed too, that influence weight.
ETA: You just repeated what I said about it not being impossible, but can be much harder. Just to clarify again, I’m not saying they can’t lose weight. I’m saying bringing this up serves no purpose when it comes to men and women finding those things insulting to them.
I_wanna_b_d1: Yea you're right about it being irrelevant to her point about the insults feeling equal. That said it's only the absolute delusion of people like you trying to claim losing weight is anywhere near equivalently difficult as a poor person trying to become wealthy... like what does that show about your mindset that you think that comparison is remotely valid. It's not nearly as hard to lose weight as people make it out to be, it triggers me to continually see it being framed like this impossible task when people just lack the discipline to eat healthy and exercise
UrbanMuffin: Oop, there it is. The last two lines are what I figured you were getting at. Which completely ignores the more in depth struggles of weight loss that may be due to mental health, medical issues environmental factors, and genetics so you can continue your lack of empathy. You want to judge them harshly and also feel justified in doing it. I’m not even going to get in to a big debate about the comparison. It was a comparison for a reason, because it was addressing a similar reaction, and people also say stupid things like this about the poor too. It was making the point that not everyone has equal footing. Also, losing weight is not particularly comfortable or easy for people. It’s hard work and effort, it’s a lot of self discipline. Give credit where credit is due. Just keep in mind you’ve been arguing back and forth this long just to excuse you feeling entitled to insult women for being fat.
*If it was as easy as you claim to know, it wouldn’t be a national epidemic now.
I_wanna_b_d1: I never said it was OK to insult people for their weight nor did I say it was easy to lose weight. I just pointed out that the OP I responded to was making it seem as if losing weight is somehow harder than gaining penis size. I don't know if you know much about male anatomy but there is not really any way to grow your penis. Meanwhile you CAN lose weight, anyone can despite all these factors you're listing as excuses. Not easy but achievable for literally anyone - if you disagree then you just don't understand the science behind weight gain and loss. This particular topic bothers me because people love to make excuses for their weight instead of just accepting that either they lack discipline/won't make the effort/make ill-informed and poor efforts to lose weight. Any other malice you ascribed to my comment is a result of an imaginary person youre arguing against in your head because never did I say any of those things you're claiming.
| 11 | 572.181818 | |
1660303534 | 1660306958 | t3_wmivpg | t5_2to41 | -2 | attoica: TIFU by posting a comment
So the other day, actually not today, I saw some comments in a sub that used "slum", which to me it may be offensive to poor people. Then I said something.
And I got like 100 downvotes or more maybe, some salty comments and the tasty part, a preacher.
This preacher, let's call it PR, first saying that I was intended to do so because I did not fit in, saying that I may have something to do with Autism. And in the DMs, to everything I said PR's like "Huh-huh, that's bullshit". I was mad then I typed some mistakes, then PR said every of my words was not "coherent", was not English and doesn't make sense maybe, because PR is a "native speaker", who has never come across someone PR has difficulty communicating with. When I was joking PR's like "your joke is lame". And when PR got offensive and nowhere to go, PR said "I was just joking, see, I can do that, too". I suspected PR was gaslighting but PR thought PR was so great to help me out, by using judgement to destroy my confidence.
I feel like there's a need to post the chatting history, please wait for that. But here are a few of the highlights(All quoted from PR, but I added spaces and mad it into paragraphs to make it look better):
> you're projecting that you want people to be downvoting you because that's easier to cope with than people downvoting you and it making you mad because you don't want it
>
>so to pretend you want it makes you feel better
>
>to pretend you're proud of it
>
>it's a coping mechanism, not a mental illness
>
> It isn't, at all .It's about you, and how you interpret things. That doesn't mean I've judged you
>
>
>
> autism could make this misunderstanding.
>
>Trolling could make this misunderstanding (intentional deception where the misunderstsanding isn't actually true but you're pretending it is)
>
>english not being native for you can make this misunderstanding
>
>or lastly you ARE native english but whoever taught you it failed you and you don't understand it that well those are the 4 root causes for this level of misunderstanding on your part
>
>there is not a single thing ambiguous there
>
>it has to be one of those
>
>if it isn't, then maybe you're actually intellectually disabled, but I don't think you are so I didn't include it in the 4
>
>because you're too smart for that
&#x200B;
And a little debate(Similar edition like above):
>PR: also calling autism a mental illness and a disease is super offensive and not okay
>
>Me: And I never said Autism is a disease.
>
>PR: you did.
>
>Me: No.
>
>Quote it.
>
>I did not say "Autism is a disease".
>
>PR: i mean, if we're going to be literal, you just said "Autism is a disease." TWICE
>
>but if you can not be super fucking literal for like, one second, and read the context clues
>
>when did I say you had a mental illness or a disease? QUOTE IT
>
>see? I can do that too
Me: But if we are being literal, there's a not before it.
>
>Then when did I show lack of awareness and acting weird?
>
>QUOTE IT.
>
>C'mon.
>
>We can do this all day long.
Well actually PR did say some nice things like I was bullied though but PR thought I deserved it or something like that, so screw it.
**TL;DR: Posted a comment, got downvoted to death(Not literally though) and gaslighted/insulted by a freak(Maybe) for hours.**
crowleyoccultmaster: And who exactly is supposed to care about this?
attoica: You may say that to literally everything people said to make them feel bad about themselves, it's just mean, you POS.
crowleyoccultmaster: Dude nobody cares that you got down voted in a Office sub grow up and touch grass
attoica: I don't think that's tolerating that is a grown-ass will do though, I just wanted to share a freak maybe, so why I have to care that, bro, don't think being insensitive is cool when others may have made you into one and tell others it's good.
I know I sounds like a bitching guy, but that's what I want to say tough.
| 5 | -0.4 | |
1660304585 | 1660342908 | t3_wmj6zk | t5_2to41 | 53 | throwaway87220: TIFU by only having anal sex for 2 months
Throwaway for obvious reasons but years ago I was not on any birth control and didn't want to risk getting pregnant so I thought the next best thing was to do anal. I had a FWB situation going on and it was possibly the best thing ever.
Anyway, nearly every other day we were meeting up and I suggested anal sex. He loved the idea & it wasn't bad. It was actually p amazing. We kept having it. And having it.
Then a few weeks in I started to notice that even going to the bathroom I would near orgasm. Didn't think much of it, but continued.
After two months of this, going to the bathroom was so intense. I decided to go to the doctor to make sure I didn't do any permanent damage etc, explained what was happening and if having anal sex was the cause.
I never really got a definite answer but he said to lay off of it to see if I can use the bathroom in Peace.
Nope.
And it's been 10 years. I can't ever go to the bathroom in Peace.
TLDR: Had anal sex so often, probably did some damage to make going to the bathroom so sensitive that I can't use the bathroom without nearly having an orgasm.
Intelligent_Union261: 
Dexter1759: 
throwaway87220: People can have an orgasm while pooping. It's a thing. Sadly I think mine caused by actions I made 10 years ago.
RudeSprinkles1240: Yeah, no.
| 5 | 10.6 | |
1660305173 | 1660312842 | t3_wmjdgq | t5_2to41 | 136 | Huertss: TIFU by using beads to masturbate
Sorry if there will be any grammatical errors in this post, English is not my first language.
So I'm a typical boy who is very prone to being controlled by my own dick. I'm also the type of person who likes trying out new things. That's what got me in this situation.
A year and a half ago I was thinking of other ways to make masturbation more exciting. Then I came up with the most ridiculous idea I could ever thought of during that time. I got a toothpick from the kitchen, went into the bathroom and inserted it in my urethra. I thought it would me painful but maybe because it was small, I didn't feel anything.
So I went ahead and searched for something bigger that I can use and found a cotton bud. I did the same thing with the cotton bud but it took me longer to put it all inside since I don't have access to anything that will make the insertion easier except for water.
The insertion wasn't pleasurable per se, but it was the thought of doing it that made me excited. So I finished doing the deed, cleaned myself, and searched the Internet to see if what I did was actually a thing or I'm just some weird pervert.
Turns out there are other people who do it too. That's how I discovered sounding. So I researched how to do it right. I found out its better to use metal rods since they are safer and easier to use, fortunately we have some metal chopsticks at out home that resembles a metal rod. I picked one and used it everyday when I shower, the only problem is that I have to be really careful when I sneak it inside the bathroom and where I hide it because I obviously don't want others using it, and I started using soaps as lubricant since I still don't have access to actual ones.
Fast forward to today, I was thinking with my other head again and wondered if I can use bigger beads since I already have a year and half of experience. A month before I discovered I can use beads and put them inside my urethra and just push them out from the underside of my dick, though I don't stuff them past the base where I can push them.
So I did what my dick told me and used bigger beads. The thing is, these beads are not a perfect sphere, these ones are basically spheres with "bulging waistlines". I don't know what the name of the shape is but it looks like a ball being compressed between two things.
So I inserted them with the bulging side positioned vertically (sorry I'm pretty bad at describing things). Before adding more I tested if I can get one out and fortunately it came out. I inserted six of them and jerked myself off. I started panicking when not a drop of semen came out, meaning I've completely blocked my urethra.
I tried the same method I used when I tested the first bead, pushing it from the underside. Unfortunately they were too packed inside me and I have to push them out individually. I can make some space between the first bead and the other five but I was I afraid it would go down deeper than the base of my dick (I'm not exactly "gifted" so the odds of that happening is big).
I tried it anyways but it didn't work so I panicked even more. I prayed to God and promised not to do something as stupid as this. I was worried I have to confess what I've been doing for the past year and a half to my parents and have them drive me to the hospital. When I thought I have to face my parents or cut my hole bigger with either a knife or a small scissor, I remembered that we have 2 ear picks at home that can fit in me. So I tried that and it somehow helped. I tried pushing it out and I almost screamed in both pain and a relief when I managed to push it out. After that, the other 5 beads came out easier.
I'm now resting in my room thinking what could have possibly happen if I didnt manage to push out the beads.
TLDR: Got too horny, inserted 6 beads in my dick, wasn't able to push them out for atleast half an hour, managed to push them out and pondered all my life decisions that led to this incident.
crowleyoccultmaster: If this sub has taught me anything it's people really love putting shit up their dick for some reason
Exzerofive: Or assholes.
crowleyoccultmaster: Oh yeah already knew that I mean putting shit up your ass is amazing
SkinsPunksDrunks: I love shit in and out of my ass.
| 5 | 27.2 | |
1660307375 | 1660307945 | t3_wmk30g | t5_2to41 | 5 | Pascalle112: TIFU: Gave myself a serious ear infection.
This wasn’t today, it was about 5 years ago.
TLDR: don’t ever scratch your ear canal with you finger nails. Or you risk the ear infection from hell with weird green gunk.
**BACKGROUND**
When I moved states (in Australia) I assumed my ear itches were due to the increased humidity, or pollen maybe.
After driving myself crazy with the itchiness I went to the doctor.
I was referred to a dermatologist - my GP refused to believe what they thought I had.
After enduring a rather painful and weird scraping of my ear canals, and waiting for the result.
The dermatologist informed me I have Psoriasis.
More scraping revealed the **only** place I have psoriasis is my freaking ear canals!!!!
I tried every drop, cream, topical application that was approved or expected not to impact my hearing.
Heck I even tried coconut oil!
Exclusion diet, everything!
Hot compress, cold compress, warm shower, hot shower, cold shower, blocking my ears so no water got in when in the shower.
Nothing worked, one of the drops actually gave me an allergic reaction and my face swelled up.
Went for a holiday back to my previous state to see if that helped, no surprise it didn’t!
So as of now, there is no fix, soothing options, nothing I can do to stop the damn itching!
**My TIFU**
Post diagnosis, and attempts to manage the itching, I did my best to accept this is my life now.
I did use my pinky finger to gently scratch my ears when it was bad, not the best idea I know, didn’t think about it.
One night I was woken up by the damn itching! I was half asleep, and crammed my pinky finger in my ear and scratched like there was no tomorrow.
I felt relief! So I went back to sleep.
Woke up in the morning, ear felt hot and a bit weird but no itching!
Later in the day, the pain started - took panadol and moved on.
By nighttime my ear felt like I was being stabbed.
Took some more panadol and went to sleep.
Woke up a few hours later and my ear felt like it was being stabbed and closed.
So I as the stupid person I am, took a tissue and tried to squish it into my ear.
I was rewarded with super pain, I screamed a little and then looked at the tissue, rewarded with bright yet deep green gunk.
More panadol and straight to the doctor the next morning.
To say I caused a scene is an understatement, to get the scope thingy in my ear, the doctor had to pull my ear open.
In my infinite stupidity I had scratched my ear canal with my nail. As we all know nails are full of germs.
So my momentary relief resulted in a seriously infected ear canal that was now almost closed.
**Aftermath:**
I have a decent pain tolerance, I’ve had stitches with no numbing, fillings without pain relief, no pain relief post gallbladder removal surgery.
OMFG, the pain when I had to put those drops in!
4 drops, 3 x a day.
I had to pull my ear open and that hurt, then I had to actually squeeze the drops in.
I felt every single second as that liquid made its way into my ear.
The first time I did let out a scream, my neighbour came over to check on me.
I couldn’t really explain, so I just gave her the thumbs up.
The second time, I had to give myself a pep talk:
“Ok, breathe, suck it up biatch, just do it, harden the f*ck up! Do it! Do it now!!!”
I also slapped my legs a few times - maybe I can divert the pain, trick my body into not feeling the drops.
Over and over again until I had the courage to squeeze the drops in.
Didn’t do a damn thing!
I still yelped and screamed.
I also had to try to get the weird gunk out, so I rolled up tissues into a point, like a weird spiral thing, then gently probed my ear to absorb the gunk, and get it out of my ear.
My neighbour came over again, and this time I was capable of explaining the issue.
**what I do now**
* I keep cotton buds, q-tips for the Americans everywhere.
* they’re in every bag I own, there’s a box or sealed bag of them in every room, there’s a packet on either side of my bed.
* yes I know everyone, doctors, and even on the packet not to use them for this purpose.
It’s still better than the alternative.
TLDR: don’t ever scratch your ear canal with you finger nails. Or you risk the ear infection from hell with weird green gunk.
Edit: Credit to u/FastWalkingShortGuy for suggesting I post this based on a comment in another thread.
UberKunt: Thank you for your service
Pascalle112: I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or an insult.
Either way, thanks for the comment.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660309304 | 1660320973 | t3_wmkqki | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by not voicing my discomfort about getting a cat
[deleted]
CaramelRatking: Why do you feel like you can't leave the kitten alone? Cats are known for being able to take care of themselves. Just make sure it has food and water and clean litter and everything should be fine.
CaramelRatking: Be sure it has toys so it plays with those and isn't messing with your things
Nuncuck: He has toys but unless I’m promoting him with them he goes for cords and the couch armrests
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1660311280 | 1660315505 | t3_wmlfkd | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU.... Wasn’t today... but a couple weeks ago... by backing the into a trash can the first time my SO let me take the car without him...
[removed]
Wabinatorx: Holy shit. You really need the TLDR for this one. 3/4th of this is context that really doesn't add to the story.
Aerionne: I can't even comprehend the title
LatterTowel9403: I couldn’t track it either.
| 4 | 4 | |
1660313241 | 1660321167 | t3_wmm618 | t5_2to41 | 23 | NotMyGrindr: TIFU by not calling the police immediately
About a week ago, I was leaving a friends house after picking up my bong. On my way home, I pass a local joint that had like 50 bikes all out front. As I pass the bar, some of the bikes start coming out. I get into a lane that is a single lane and eventually turns into a intersection where you can keep going straight or make a right. I decided to make a right and to be honest I can’t recall if I had flipped my turn signal on or not but at that second a loud THUD happened and a bike had hit my car and flipped along with two people. It was a man driving and woman passenger. Had a few bikers pissed off and getting in my face after I pulled over. I can still hear the screams of the girl writhing in agony. They said that she had broke her arm. At least they were wearing helmets. I should also note that only two spoke to me in English. One pissed off guy and one telling me its not my fault, I should relax, call the cops and let them sort everything. I understood what the other bikers were all saying though because even though I look white I’m half hispanic. A few bikers told me to just get out if the car works and isn’t badly damaged. They told me they didn’t want police involved because the biker who hit me had been drinking. The situation shook me though because someone was hurt, my insurance is already through the roof from prior accidents, I had a bong in the car and a little bit of weed and didn’t expect for a freaking accident to happen. Everything just happened so fast. Since the bikers friends got my information because my idiot brain gave it to him, I was worried they would later try to claim hit and run so I ended up filling a police report not far from where the accident happened. Cop was super chill. Long story short, my transmission is busted and im worried this may come back to bite me in the future. If only I had called the boys in blue earlier.
TL;DR Got into an accident with a motorcycle. Car got ruined and I’m scared I may face some kind of charge for not calling the cops soon enough.
slarti54: And you've also learnt a lesson about turn signals
browtfareyoudoing: What's a turn signal?
slarti54: Ah, a BMW driver.
browtfareyoudoing: The dealership said I wouldn't need them
AcrobaticSource3: Yeah, turn signals are an accessory
| 6 | 3.833333 | |
1660314631 | 1660341313 | t3_wmmpbv | t5_2to41 | 8,326 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaving my husband’s ass
[removed]
theBlackkSky: This is the most interesting thing I read on internet today. Quite a marriage you guys have 😂
BridgetheDivide: You didn't read that post about how most people don't have an internal monologue?
GerBear_: That has to be BS though
uglybudder: I don’t have an internal monologue… I saw that and found it interesting that most people just in their heads talking to themselves
Illustrious_Front669: Dear lord, I wish I had a mute button! So damned noisy, it's distracting
uglybudder: My wife’s the same way… always in her head about stuff. When she asks me what I’m thinking and I say nothing … I mean it.
It’s always interesting to me when someone tells me “let me think about it” when making a relatively simple choice… I’ve already considered pros cons and made an immediate choice but they apparently need to do some chess in their head.
Illustrious_Front669: I follow my intuition on most things, as I have ADHD and anxiety, so I overthink literally everything. I'm fascinated by the thought of people out there who can literally have a silent moment. If I skip my meds, it's like a freaking rave! All chaos and disjointed thought/idea messes. And occasionally, my brain will misfire and I'll switch languages, though I speak English. But to have sweet silence? To dream the dream
uglybudder: It’s not silence… I still think… just about what’s right in front of me and my current tasks. I was diagnosed adhd when I was a kid and I know for a fact Ritalin helped when I was younger… I’ve thought shots getting on aderal or something but I just haven’t talked to a doctor in a long time to do so. I haven’t been on anything since I was a kid so I’m used to functioning life without it… I just wonder if I’d have better quality of life if I could focus better. I don’t have random thoughts distracting me but I definitely struggle to stay on task with stuff. It’s easy to get distracted by my environment
Illustrious_Front669: I'm on Vyvanse, and it's a game changer. I used to just wing it in life, and was constantly fixing my screw ups. Now, it slows me down enough to come up with a game plan, and not be trapped in trying to survive. I was diagnosed around Christmas last year, and have always battled anxiety and depression because I knew something about me was different, but nobody caught it. Women get misdiagnosed more often, as it's harder to catch the signs. I guess we're just naturally neurotic messes?🤣 And yes, it's a joke for those who are wondering
uglybudder: I do need to try something and see if it makes a significant difference.
Illustrious_Front669: It's funny. Taking an amphetamine to calm down. I should have known when coffee actually made me sleepy and relaxed. But most medication works the opposite. Makes surgery fun! I woke up mid surgery and punched my doctor because it hurt. NyQuil will keep me up for days, all jittery and such. My meds have given me space to catch up to my racing brain
uglybudder: Oh I’ve had lidocaine wear off at the dentist too fast several times, I drink coffee every day but it takes a lot too make me feel caffeinated. I don’t think I have it as bad as you do it seems.
Illustrious_Front669: I was up to two pots of coffee, plus 7xl coffees a day before medication. My liver and kidneys asked for a divorce
| 14 | 594.714286 | |
1660319731 | 1660341149 | t3_wmoqzq | t5_2to41 | 5 | jenjersnap: tifu by getting divorced and going to school to make a better life for my son and I.
Today I (35f) am completely broke, and not sure what to do.
TLDR: Divorce has financially ruined me and I’m going to have to take a break from school so I can financially take care of my son and I. I’m just so frustrated, stressed, and defeated. I’m not sure what to do. Does anyone have advice?
My divorce has been actively in the process of settling for over a year now, and it has cost me so much. I am not talking just about lawyer and mediation fees (which has already cost me about 6k), I am also talking about purchasing items for the townhouse I’m renting for myself and son (couches, mattresses, bookshelves and books, rugs, crafts for my son, cleaning supplies, and the list goes on). Essentially starting over from scratch, minus kitchen stuff and wall art.
Before our divorce I was already enrolled in classes at BSU, but they didn’t start until after we separated. I was determined to finish the goals I had set for myself, I know in the long run school will be beneficial to helping me support my son, and that’s my number one goal right now. However, between giving up serving shifts for school and sick days whenever myself or my son gets sick (and any parent knows that when one of you gets sick the other is bound to also) I am now broke. I’ve taken out a hardship loan and a 401k loan to help support us, I’ve had to sell my car and downgrade, and I’ve had to embarrassingly ask my ex for help (which he did not provide). I feel like I’ve accessed every avenue I can, even asking friends for help, which in this economy isn’t looking very possible.
The only things I can think of doing is taking a break from school and working overtime. I may even go to health and welfare to see if I can get some sort of assistance until the divorce is finalized. I’ve pondered starting an OnlyFans or Footfinder account just so I can stay in school. I’m looking for random odd jobs like cleaning houses, hoping I can find a way that’s not sexual to make money from home.
I’m just so frustrated with the system in place when it comes to divorce. How is it my ex husband who I supported for 7 years, who makes about 3x what I do, and who bought himself a new corvette after our split doesn’t have any financial responsibility to me or our son until the divorce paperwork is finalized.
I’m just so frustrated, stressed, and defeated. I’m not sure what to do. Does anyone have advice?
fmlyjwls: Take a break from school right now. Yes, higher education can lead to a greater income, but you need everything you can get RIGHT NOW. School will be there next semester. Are you paying for daycare? Do you have family close by you can lean on? We take care of my grandson so my daughter and her husband can work full time. Yes, what your ex is doing is shitty. A good man would stand up and address the situation. Is there any chance for alimony?
jenjersnap: Unfortunately I don’t have any family in this state or within 1000 miles. I also can’t afford daycare, so I’ve been leaning on my best friend (who has 5 of her own kids and obviously so cannot always help) and I lean on my sons half brothers mom to help me watch my son when I work. Luckily he will be starting school again soon so I won’t have to worry about that too much now. No alimony, but my settlement will help tremendously once the divorce is finalized. Unfortunately I’m in this limbo right now between getting kicked out of my home before my divorce is finalized.
My phones just got turned off also.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660320016 | 1660327051 | t3_wmovec | t5_2to41 | 1,014 | NotTrump_Throwaway: TIFU by Accidentally Keeping and Sharing Nuclear Secrets (TOTTALLY FINE)
[removed]
im_wudini: What in the fuck is even happening here? You stole nuclear secrets and took out loans from mobsters and.... someone wants some papers back? Golf?
edit: this went so far over my head and I'm sad I didn't get to give it the laugh it deserved.
shorterthanyou15: I'll give you a hint: there's a certain past president that loves golf and may have.. allegedly... maybe... stolen nuclear secrets, that were discovered during a certain raid recently. Hmm I wonder who it could be??
im_wudini: jfc. whoosh. ty.
suspect108: hahahaaha, it's cool man, I appreciate the laugh at your expense :). But you're laughing with us!
im_wudini: lol rough day at work -\_-
&#x200B;
cheers!
suspect108: No worries, mate. I was really loving how passionately upset you were!
| 7 | 144.857143 | |
1660319823 | 1660334144 | t3_wmosay | t5_2to41 | 48 | Sleepysadjob: TIFU by dozing off at work
I just started a new job and on my first day I fell asleep during a meeting. I know that I fell asleep because I remember waking up and one of my coworkers told me that I started snoring.
The second day I dozed off during a training class for new teachers. One of the faculty alerted me that I was dozing off and tried to help me. I don’t know if they reported me or not.
Yesterday I was sitting at my desk and then I noticed that the students were all looking at me. I didn’t know why, but I had my suspicions. I asked one of the students if I had fallen asleep during class and he said I was snoring.
I really don’t know what to do. I go to bed early but I keep having these sleeping episodes. I never know how long I’m asleep either. I can be sitting straight up in my chair and then the next thing I know I’m waking up. Im pretty sure my students are going to report me. I feel like I’m just waiting to get fired at this point.
Tl;dr I keep dosing off at work
Traditional_Bus3511: You might want to ask your doctor about this
ApachePrime: As someone who struggled with similar issues my entire life, and found a lot of relief after a sleep study: THIS IS THE BEST ANSWER.
| 3 | 16 | |
1660315220 | 1660321473 | t3_wmmxgf | t5_2to41 | 5 | Ih8ua11: TIFU on my last day at the office
I've been interning at an office for the summer and the time has finally come for my last day. Today also happens to be the day I am responsible for throwing a bachelorette party for a good friend of mine. I have a few things I've been told to print by other bridesmaids , and I've made the plan to arrive early at the office before anyone else to get this done. Most people work from home on Fridays, and the people that do arrive at the office usually get there late. It was the perfect plan. I arrive at 8:45, the lights are still off and immediately get to my email. I print out ten copies of our itinerary for the weekend, chose to do it on the nice thick paper. Then, I proceed to print out ten copies of the games one girl has provided. When I finally reach the printer I notice that all the pages are in black and white and double sided, which wasn't going to work. Now I've got a bunch of sheets in my hands with dicks and vile words that I need to dispose of. Can't very well throw them in the trash or leave them at my desk, best to get rid of them before anyone else gets here. Now, I'm not very experienced with office shredders, specifically heavy duty-definitely worth a few thousand dollar- industrial shredders, as this is my first ever office job. I assume this is the best way to destroy the evidence, so I try and put the pile into the shredder. It struggles, so I divide the pile into a smaller section and try and put it back in. It starts violently beeping, red lights flashing. I try and pull out the papers. This is when I know I've goofed. They won't come out. They are stuck. I pull and pull but the larger part of the paper rips, leaving a stub of the stack sitting right at the blades. My heart is racing FUCK I try and turn it on again. More beeping. I grab a letter opener and try prying the sheets out. NOT WORKING. I turn the power off and try to pry the top of the big white box. With some manhandling I manage to pry it open and grab the stubs of evidence remaining in the shredder. Assemble Humpty Dumpty back together and try and turn it on again, except now, it doesn't turn on. I frantically push all the buttons and nothing. You can still see bits of paper jammed in the shredder. I grab my shit, turn off my computer and run out of my office with the remaining evidence to throw out outside. I stroll back in at 9am like nothing happened. Can't wait until they have someone come to fix the shredder and he pulls those pages out. Small office, they will likely deduce it's me. Hopefully no one tries to shred anything today.
TL;DR I broke the office shredder on my last day with a bunch of papers that say "drink if you own a vibrator"
AcrobaticSource3: You should have tried flushing papers down the toilet! I hear that is a technique used at the highest levels of government on the highest security level documents
Ih8ua11: I'll try that next time!
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660306200 | 1660323862 | t3_wmjpi5 | t5_2to41 | 4 | lokachaka: TIFU by opening the door.
So, I live with my mom and my sister. And my dad does not live with us. And we just had a house fire. Exposition complete. I'm taking a nap at around 5 p.m., and my mother gives me clear instructions to not let anyone into apartment. Got it.
Around 20 minutes later, I hear the secret knock on the door. (knock once, knock twice together, knock again, and then again). I spring up from my nap, eager to complete the secret knock (by knocking twice together). I knock back, and then look through the eye hole. And its my dad. Whoopsie. Don't worry though, the fuck up does not end there. I open the door thinking, "Ah I'll just tell him they are not here". I open the door, and tell them they are not here, and he asks for something to drink. And then gets something to drink. Or maybe he gets something to drink while also surreptitiously slipping a key into his pocket like a magician. I'm not sure. I am not yet a qualified sleight of hand inspector.
After my brain fog clears, I realize that I did the thing. And, in a display of integrity that I will NEVER be so stupid to do again, I called my mother to let her know. I don't know whether I should end it here, because it kind of keeps going. But here is an addendum to the story. No more than 2 minutes later, my mother does the secret knock on the door. Yup. Thus, had I simply stalled for like 5 minutes, she would have been able to deal with the situation herself. But no. Come on in dad, the water is wonderful.
&#x200B;
TL;DR They said don't let anyone in and I let the one person they didn't want in, in.
AcrobaticSource3: This feels like the set up to a murder movie
sanjayandsnake: This is the worst version of “last night was like a movie”
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1660321974 | 1660342214 | t3_wmpnyf | t5_2to41 | 9 | HTTYDFan96: TIFU by dropping a rump roast
Actually this happened yesterday. I was making a roast for dinner, everything was going well, iron skillet was seasoned, oiled, buttered and heating up as I seasoned the roast. In my haste to get it seared and into the oven, I forgot to turn the heat down. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was dropping the roast. I lost my grip on the roast, so instead of lowering it gently into the skillet, it dropped straight down. This caused oil to splash everywhere. Most of it getting on me.
And by everywhere, I mean everywhere. I have burns on my wrist, smaller ones on both hands, under my chin, by my lips, one under my eye, and on the top of my feet. None of the burns are severe. I'm applying burn cream regularly, taking tylenol.
I'm a very talented dumbass. I've burned myself cooking before, but never this bad. I'm just worried about what the people at work are going to say when they see my face, because according to my husband, I look like I fell asleep at the beach and did a very bad job about applying the sunblock.
Even with the burn cream and tylenol, I'm still sore, but the pain is no where near as bad it was yesterday.
TL;DR: Lost my grip on a roast and dropped it into a pan with hot oil. Burns everywhere.
Incendas1: Why didn't you go to a doctor for burns? They're not to severe, but multiple burns are sometimes an issue, especially if you couldn't tend to them all quickly
HTTYDFan96: One, our car is in the shop. Two, no insurance. Three. I have a fully stocked first aid kit in my bathroom and was able to tend to them. Last but not least, when I went to the ER the last time for burns, I was treated like a drug seeker and they didn't even examine me
Incendas1: American? Jeez
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1660324252 | 1660324821 | t3_wmqju3 | t5_2to41 | 32 | Bun-the-hun: TIFU by masturbating at 5pm
(disclaimer: this is my very first Reddit post and I am not even sure that this is the right r/)
Tifu, or tbh I can't tell if I did. Some settings, I am a 22 years old guy and currently staying at my family's house for the end of summer till my studies pick back up again and move into accomodation.
For the last few days I been able to stay in my room quite comfortably without being interrupted in till today.
I for some reason got comfortable enough to start jacking off a new one at 5pm in the afternoon because I was confident enough that no one would walk into my room without knocking.
Thinking sense there are no children living in the house and I being the youngest it would be safe for me to crack on in my own space, now you might say that I should have locked the door. And I would have if they didn't remove my lock after I left.
So in the middle of me doing the deed my older brother walked in on me, said "sorry" and clothed the door just as fast as he opened it.
After 2 minutes he knocked telling that we were supposed to go out at 7 to have dinner outside (something that I told my mum earlier I wouldn't be going to, which she confirmed and said will let my brother know)
Now this being the first time that this has ever happened to me, idk how I am feeling exactly. I first laughed at the situation, then I felt proud? Like hey I am not a kid anymore so I need my privacy. Especially sense I always been treated like I am too young to know anything.
Now tho, I don't know what to do. I mean I haven't left my room yet (other then to clean up) and I haven't seen him yet.
This is something I should be having the talk with XD
Or am I supposed to act like nothing happened and he didn't just walk on me doing the deed.
I like to point out, I wasn't watching anything. I had a video of a gameplay, playing in the background in case I make any noise.
TL;DR my older bother walked on me masturbating and idk if I should have a talk with him now or what.
livinlikeriley: Behave normally. Your brother may joke with you. At least you were caught by your brother and not by your mom or another female.
Door has no lock and you just what, face the door.
Bun-the-hun: Ik  but the bed literally faces the door. But thx for the advice.
Hey if he brings it up I could call him a pervert
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1660326590 | 1660406603 | t3_wmrghd | t5_2to41 | 1,028 | persunx: TIFU by using my new water pick in the shower. A cautionary tale.
obligatory; this happened about 3 weeks ago and my shower today triggered a little ptsd memory. It dawned on me that this might be a fun one for this group.
Long back story aside, I was told by my dentist to use a water pick if I suck at flossing regularly, which I do, so I bought one on Amazon. It had good reviews and more important it could be used in the shower. As I had a 3 to 5 minute window where I had to wait for a medicated shampoo to do its thing. That time will now be water pick time instead of just standing there with my eyes shut wiping away the streams of eye searing liquid that was my shampoo. I was excited at the opportunity to be efficient with my time and my health, its an old person thing.
Fast forward to the moment things went wrong. I had practiced using it at this point. Push the power button three times to turn it on and off. There were 5 speeds of water blasting and an extra large liquid tank. The thing was a mess to use but my teeth and gums never felt better. I found my gums pretty sensitive early on so I stayed in the low numbers for the "Pulsing Power" on this device. I love the whole experience up to this point. As I went to shut it off I pumped the power button 3 times. But my eyes were shut and the power button was right below the POWER button, so instead of turning off I ended up increasing the blasting power to full blast and shot a load of Luke warm shower water into my lungs faster than I knew what was happening. I crumpled to the floor on all fours as my body fights to figure out what just happened, I'm trying to breath IN but there is no more room for my lungs to do that, but they are not breathing out yet and the convulsions are making my body slip around in this dingy tub like Bambi on the ice. All while this is happening the water pick has gotten lodged between my legs and is blasting lazers of water at my balls and taint adjacent regions. That skin curtain has not received such intense attention before. Finally. . my lungs stopped panicking and gave me back control and the tank of the pick ran dry. All in all this probably lasted no more than 15 to 30 seconds of agony.
I opened my eyes to retrieve the water pick from between my calves only to be met with hot lava vision. As I had all but forgotten about the shampoo in my fight for life. I slam my eyes shut for all the good that did and found my way back to my feet to rinse out my eyes and then wrap the whole mess up. I have since learned not trust that my fingers are on the right buttons.
TLDR: choked on my water pick and got shampoo in my eyes and learned a lesson in what not to do with a water pick.
Brewser2017: As a water pick user, who has accidentally hit the wrong power button and turned my gums into a painful bleeding mess, I recommend one that has the power levels on the tank rather than on the handle. Game changer!
Sorry about your balls/taintregion, eyes, lungs, and all else that has been violated by the waterpick
companybuttondown: I just started giggling during a group call. I'm getting death eyes.
Trollamp: Bad bot. You stole this comment from u/cakeweefs
cakeweefs: Good human.
| 5 | 205.6 | |
1660329976 | 1660344549 | t3_wmsrku | t5_2to41 | 170 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a trust fund kid.
[removed]
Brandeeno2245: Okay quick question are you working full time as a actual employee or just helping out and for how long are you actually working?
tripleg121: I’m a full time employee and have been for almost a year and a half now. I would be going to part-time because college is starting now though.
Edit: 40 hours per week.
Brandeeno2245: So I looked it up and yah your dad definitely violated the law big time if you worked for the company prior to turning 18
tripleg121: I mean that’s been a thing but there are ways to get around it which I agreed to. I don’t have a grudge against him but the way he’s using the money against me is putting me in a chokehold.
Brandeeno2245: It doesn't matter you were a minor therfore legally you could not officially agree to work for the company and your father broke a labor law which could have been a fine or even potentially jail time because technically since he owns the company he willing exposed you to hazardous chemicals which since your his son could be argued was child abuse, he also cannot legally withhold payment for any reason other then a breach of contract which again buying shit from CVS is not a valid breach of contract, if he wants to make threats about money hit him back with if you don't fulfill your obligations to pay me as a employee at the company then I will be forced to report the company to the department of labor and Industry
tripleg121: Yeah that makes sense. But he wouldn’t be withholding payment, I would be getting “fired.” And I’m not sure if there is enough reason for me to go after him on such a large legal scale. But thanks for the info.
Brandeeno2245: Then it wrongful termination which is a sue-able offense as well as I'm sure a fine.
jbob172: Yeah, light the dad, and his business on fire! Fuck that guy!
I don’t think I gotta, but /s.
Brandeeno2245: I mean if he's breaking laws I'd only imagine his safety regulations are a bit lax, the waste he's disposing of will probably do it for him.
| 10 | 17 | |
1660330898 | 1660333056 | t3_wmt4iq | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by intentionally ignoring a "EMPLOYEES ONLY SIGN"
[deleted]
qawsedrf12: are you sure you should be attending college?
TropicalTrapF1r3: Lmfao it was my dumbass moment I guess. I definitely learned my lesson
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1660331774 | 1660423158 | t3_wmtg1n | t5_2to41 | 130 | piddIepie: TIFU by booking a “tranquil getaway” when neither my bf or I are “tranquil” people
So, yeah.
TLDR: Bf and I wanted to get away from my Christian parents expecting the worst, instead the trip was great and we instead lost $300 dollars as struggling students, blew up my family in a huge emotional breakdown, wasted $100 in gas, wasted 6 hours of one of our last nights together, and got bug bites and bruised egos. We could have stayed home to watch Bleach.
My boyfriend (25M) and I (24F) have been long distance while I finish grad school, so we get to see each other maybe three or four times a year. This has never been an issue, as we typically stay at each other’s apartments, but it became an issue last Christmas when we had to stay at my parent’s house.
My parents are very Christian.
My bf and I are not Christians. We are also avid gamers and nerds, and we’ve been spending our time playing games and watching anime
so far. This is where the divergence begins. Last Christmas, we were newly dating and weren’t as good at communicating or as strong in our relationship as we are now, a year later.
Bf stayed in a different room. For a couple days this was fine, but after about a week, whenever my bf and I would get “too close” or spend too much time “in the room” (either his or mine, even with DOOR OPEN,) my parents would start to be more passive aggressive, short, irritable, and would give us dirty looks. My mom would also “check on us.”
We spent the next TWO WEEKS uncomfortable and on edge. It wasn’t fun and caused a communication breakdown for like a month after.
Cue to last week— My bf is coming to my parents’ place again, and we didn’t want to repeat what happened. We start to look up some “tranquil getaways” in anticipation of the need to get away from my parents for at least a night to recharge. We find a cool day spa at a hot springs up in the mountains, but it’s nearly $500 for about 4 hours. This is above our price range. We instead decided that it would be a GREAT idea to book a relaxing AirBnB!
What an idea. I was feeling unusually bold and told him my parents could pound sand, and that this was a great idea. We could get away, have alone time, and it was cheaper. We found a cool place for $300, booked it, and moved on.
Now at my parents’ house— It’s going great. Nobody has said anything about us being “too close,” we’ve been watching anime ON MY BED, hanging out in our rooms, etc. Save for one morning my mom was iffy, we’ve had a wonderful time. So wonderful, that we forgot about the AirBnB until 7PM the night of our reservation.
The plan was to tell my parents earlier in the afternoon, and then leave, because I truly believed based on my past experiences with them, that it would be best to save the information until right before we left. I believed that it would keep the week leading up to the trip a lot more drama-free. This was my biggest fuck-up.
I went to tell my mom immediately before we left, who looked gutted and disgusted that I was leaving to spent the NIGHT away, alone with my boyfriend. But she said “okay.” I knew she was mad. About 30 minutes into the drive, my dad texts me. We pull over, and now I have two 30- minute phone conversations with my parents apologizing for not telling them earlier, having them tell me that I’m sinning, and that if I “wanted to hide it, maybe it’s actually problematic.” Their attitude is what was problematic, but I digress. We made it through, ended the calls, and continued the drive.
About an hour later, we hit road construction. Huge traffic jam for miles. We end up standstill. Both of us start to question whether or not this is worth it. Surely it can’t be that bad, right? Plus, we can’t waste the money. We have to follow through.
Traffic lasts for approximately TWO HOURS. The drive with no traffic was supposed to be two hours and 30 minutes. Total drive time is now at least four hours.
As we approach the mountain roads, we start to get nervous. We start laughing because we feel like we’re living a previous experience, it starts to feel like we’re going clamming again. During the winter. In Washington. We spent $80 on clam gun materials, wasted 6 hours of driving, spent time in the freezing ocean spray, and caught no clams. Total pathetic defeat.
Both of us are laughing, driving up this mountain to this AirBnB, as we realize the parallels. We could have turned around. Instead, we continued, because we really wanted to make it work.
We finally make it there. It’s dark, wet, and muddy. We have to walk up a hill in the wet grass to get to the location. We get there, and to be fair, it’s a gorgeous AirBnB and truly an objectively nice place. We step inside. We’re relieved to finally have made it to the destination, but neither of us looks comfortable.
We sit on the bed, and due to the location and the weather it was really damp. After a bit it became very sticky and uncomfortable. We open up our phones to play our mobile game. Barely any service because we’re at a tranquil getaway in the mountains. We sit in silence for about 10 minutes, then decide that we’d be too uncomfortable sleeping there, and we have no idea what to do with ourselves without internet. We had ice cream at home, warm beds, and internet. Why did we come here? Neither of us are outdoorsy people. We barely go outside. What were we thinking?
We get up and admit defeat, and leave.
We drive the whole two and a half hours back crying laughing. Not only are my parents probably still upset at us, and now think we’re sinners, but we essentially wasted $300, wasted six hours, wasted gas, and wasted an entire night trying to get to this tranquil getaway that didn’t fit either of our styles.
We should have gone to the spa. We should have seen the signs earlier, and we learned a very expensive lesson about our preferences.
Mikenic16: You are 24 and your parents still influence what you do to that extent? Yikes
piddIepie: big yikes, i agree.
sucks when you’re brought up in that environment though, because it does leave lasting damage. therapy is helpful but sometimes can’t totally fix the years of conditioning.
work in progress!
ShySweetss: We have almost practically the same parents, except mine have relaxed over the years. I remember when I was 21 yo moved out and had went out to go to get some groceries at 8:30pm. My dad called and said "Don't you think it's a little late for you to be out? You've got school tomorrow."
I was 15 mins from home. I was in Grad school at the time. While getting my Bachelors they wanted me to call about 6 times per day. It was intense and overbearing. I almost suffocated. I hope you get out of there soon!
piddIepie: the good news is typically i live 9 hours away in a totally different state, so this usually doesnt happen when we see each other. it just seems at christmas and over summer its easier and cheaper to fly to where my parents live so we go see them together.
it be like that 😕 im so sorry about your parents. it can be so hard sometimes, and its much harder when few people understand the mental games theyve played on you.
hopefully youre doing much better now!
ShySweetss: I'm the happiest I've ever been! And Im so happy you're able to get away and enjoy your freedom most of the time. Hopefully they ease up overtime.
| 6 | 21.666667 | |
1660335512 | 1660533568 | t3_wmuvxt | t5_2to41 | 2 | Gazzo69: TIFU by peeing into a soap dispenser at a restaurant
Hey guys, okay so I have read many hilarious and thrilling tifu stories and also some opened up how it took them weeks, if not years to do so, so here I am.
When I was around 15, my family and I went to the mountains to go hiking. For a horny teenager who just discovered drinking, that was tremendously boring. Especially because the mountains were usually covered in snow and I knew that place for lots of fun and sports.
So anyways.. One sunny afternoon we met for lunch with the owner of the apartment/ chalet we always rented. Beautiful restaurant in the middle of the mountains right next to a lake and amazing food. After lunch and boring conversation, I went to the bathroom to kill some time and see if there is anyone more interesting I could do. After peeing and seeing a soap dispenser where you can take of the lid (oh, it was actually before i peed!) I thought it would be an AMAZING idea to pee into the bottle instead of the toilet. So I peed so that soap and pee would be about 50/50, shuffled the bottle and then finished my business. Do not ask me why I did it, and what I thought why this was funny or even worth doing, but yeah, the soap dispenser was now filled with my pee. Accessible and ready for everyone coming after me.
Suddenly someone then knocked at the bathroom door so I (nervously and quickly) placed the dispenser where it has been and tried not to make anything look suspicious.
When opening the door, it was (or had to be) the owner of the apartment wanting to use the bathroom. I nervously smiled at her and left the bathroom.
Nowwww I was scared that she would no 1) recognize the pee and no 2) come to the conclusion that it was me.
When she rejoined it didn't look like she had recognized it which was a BIG relief, however, she kept smelling her hands in a confused and disgusted way and it got increasingly harder not to burst out laughing/ start sweating.
Everyone was fine eventually, I have to admit I didn't really like her anyways, because she was always grumpy, not very friendly and not a typical loving sweet host.
One could say that I didn't fuck up, but it felt like I did at that time and to this day my siblings and parents don't know about the incident lol. And I don't know if she knew.
tl;dr I peed into a soap dispenser when the host of our holiday apartment came in after me and used my pee soap
FullWrap9881: Please explain why you thought it was a good idea to urinate inside of a soap dispenser
Gazzo69: I don't know man. Puberty and creativity. I did this only once.
FullWrap9881: Last time I checked Puberty doesn't make people pee in soap bottles
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1660337227 | 1660338101 | t3_wmvjc9 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying to my GF
[deleted]
letterheadzephyr: You're well rid of her. Nicotine isn't the healthiest thing in the world, sure, but it's not fucking heroin. Her response and attacks imply, at least to me, that those are things that she dislikes perceiving about herself and she knew twisting the knife would hurt.
She needs therapy because something as small as nicotine and a white lie set her off, which is off into the deep end if you ask me, and so do you - for different reasons. Emergency services are incredibly mentally taxing and it's not shameful to destress with nicotine, but you should see a therapist to start working on your work trauma, which is very real. You're better off without her being controlling - if she really wanted what was best, and not just to control your habits, she would have helped and supported you, not flown into a cruel rage at the slightest hint her control over you was not absolute.
I hope you find someone who is, and realize what a bullet you just dodged.
Brandeeno2245: Please op listen to this person you really deserve the best and she ain't it.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1660337773 | 1660338268 | t3_wmvqxu | t5_2to41 | 30 | WinterTiger123: TIFU by burning my shoulders with capsaicin
For a bit of background information, I have an intense pain in my shoulders shooting up to my neck caused by impacts from playing rugby. Recently the pain had gotten too insane to tolerate so I’ve tried to find some solutions. My mum had read about using capsaicin as a pain reliever for muscles, and bought capsaicin oil online. We were hoping this might’ve been the cure for my pain, boy were we wrong.
Just before bed last night, I took a handful of this oil and rubbed it into my shoulders. Initially, the only pain I felt was some fairly intense heat on the palm of my hand. But then like a fucking semi truck, satans spit scorched my shoulders and I collapsed from the pain. Years of pain and turmoil and nothing has been able to put me on the ground screaming like a child such as this.
Initially I thought this was maybe just was what to be expected and tried to head to bed. Then I felt an itch on my balls and without thinking scratched with same hand I had used to apply the oil. In 3 seconds my crown jewels had turned into two eggs on a frying pan. I felt the lives of millions being consumed by this hellish liquid.
Two hours pass by after lying in excruciating pain after having gotten the capsaicin in my eye and face, I decide to take a shower. This couldn’t have been a worse decision. As soon as the shower water meets my skin, the burnt areas went from Beyoncé to Scarlett Johansson levels of hotness. I continued to shower screaming not realising it was only making it worse.
Once I realised what was going on I run in my parents room half naked screaming my fucking lungs out. My mum started slapping my head thinking I had gone mad until she realised what I meant by screaming “spicy oil”.
Turns out the cure to capsaicin is liquor. Soon as my mum poured some brandy we had in the fridge on the affected areas the pain dropped by 80%. For 7 hours (22:00 - 4:00) had I been suffering in pain, and at 7:00 the next morning I was driving 3 hours to catch a flight to meet a few friends.
Now I’m here at the airport contemplating if I should avoid the sun or not as my shoulders look like satans asshole and trying not to fall asleep on my ass from exhaustion of screaming and pain.
TL;DR - Pain in my shoulders from rugby, tried to relieve with capsaicin, burnt my dick
Jonny7421: Well at least you forgot about your other shoulder pain for a bit. Silver linings and that.
Hilarious story.
WinterTiger123: That’s one way you could put it haha
| 3 | 10 | |
1660337913 | 1660339279 | t3_wmvsum | t5_2to41 | 70 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking a student to tell the worst day of her life
[deleted]
RetroBerner: Maybe don't ask ANYBODY about their worst day. You could ask about their best one instead.
Teacherbuska: You're right. And I haven't asked since that day.
| 3 | 23.333333 | |
1660340674 | 1660346547 | t3_wmwvlc | t5_2to41 | 8 | yeetus_that_feetus_4: TIFU by leaving my hotel room
Bit of context:
I am currently staying in a hotel in the south of England, a cool 3:30 hr drive from my home town to visit a flying school I’m interested in enrolling in.
The hotel I am staying at uses a keycard system to enter each hotel room, as-well as operate the electricity in the room, by placing the key in a slot by the door.
I have diced with death a few times in the last few days, running out and sprinting back to catch the door at the last second after again leaving my key in the breaker box by the door, so you would think I had learnt my lesson (or atleast gotten a spare key).
However I hadn’t.
So, after a good 2 hours of canoeing down a river, I stumble back to my hotel room to run myself a lovely cold bath. My friends are staying across the hall to me and text me just as I was about to get undressed to come help them with there kettle (turns out the plug was off).
So after getting re-dressed, exiting my room, “fixing” a kettle and walking back to my door, it suddenly hits me.
I have locked myself out, with the bath still running.
(Now this isn’t your run of the mill hotel bath, this thing may aswell have been called the “fill-fast-900”, and I had remarked at its speed just prior to receiving the text.)
So suddenly I find myself sprinting down a hotel corridor, hoping to god I can sprint the 3 floors down to the reception on the other side of the hotel before the poor souls in the room below me get some unwelcome flooding.
As I round the corner to the front desk I see quite frankly the biggest case of the universe flipping me the bird.
3 pilots are currently midway through a very nice catch-up with the receptionist, and they show no sign of being done any time soon. So begrudgingly I barge into there very peaceful conversations to hurriedly ask for a key to my room urgently all the while panting and apologising, explaining my situation between breaths, only to sprint off immediately after grabbing the key.
So now less than 12 hours before I am to embark on a 6 hour tour of their facilities, I sit in my room regretting my life choices
(Luckily with a dry floor due to my quick legs)
TL;DR
Locked myself out of my hotel room with the bath running only to have to interrupt my potential future flight instructors at the front desk while frantically asking for a new key.
Ratzink: That was a fun read!
yeetus_that_feetus_4: Thank you!
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1660342458 | 1660342932 | t3_wmxkom | t5_2to41 | 9 | millifish: TIFU by thinking my drug test was a week later than it was
Look this is going to be a short story, I been smoking week for the first time with some friend thought I had a two week buffer and now I'm in the middle drug test. The last week I had was an edible last Friday night. I drank a bunch of water throughout the week. And right now I just drank a shit ton of water to hopefully delay my results. The last 2 weeks were my first time smoking/eating weed Anyways I'm probably fucked, what chances you give me?
Now I have to fill 750 character. I live in California, it's legal but the Federal laws are fucked. I'm freaking out a bit bit maybe my first edible has already left my body, it's been over 7 days. I'm trying to stay positive at least. I have no idea what will happen if I pop hot, maybe I can blame it on a vape I didn't know was weed?
TLDR I'm fucked on a drug test
Aw_Frig: You knew when the drug test was ahead of time?
millifish: Eh it's complicated, but I only go into a physical work space once a month for them so that's the only time they can drug test me, was trying to keep that 2 week buffer, because I knew it was a possibility I got "randomly called" to get a drug test
Aw_Frig: And you got randomly called? Do you know your organizations policy on drug use? Maybe they don't even care about cannabis. Or maybe they just don't want you coming in high
millifish: Not randomly called, I meant randomly selected, others did it too, but I was one of the list of names, and also yes they do care about this stuff
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1660342384 | 1660343219 | t3_wmxjlp | t5_2to41 | 77 | Elcor_Hamlet: TIFU by being to lazy to walk 20ft
I play PC video games, and drink while I do most nights. I don't feel the need to walk to the bathroom every time I need to go, I just use the beer cans. So that after I intake an alcoholic beverage I can output the result back into the same can. Very efficient.
Now the fuck up happens when after a night of drinking I wake up late for work today. Again don't want to go to the bathroom when I need to get dressed immediately, and there are plenty of good cans on my desk after all. Quick release, quick dress, out the door. Forget about everything.
Come home after a long day, sit down at my desk and need a relaxer. I am pleasantly surprised to find I didn't finish one of the cans last night.....Guess it was just a matter of time. I knew sooner or later this would happen....being right still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
TLDR: drank my own golden rain
deco19: Doesn't your room fucking stink?
Fomocowboy: Of course it does. If walking to the bathroom to piss is too much effort, a shower is definitely out of the question!
ZeroLurkThirty: And there you have it, best comment spot already taken.
| 4 | 19.25 | |
1660342993 | 1660425194 | t3_wmxs9k | t5_2to41 | 119 | Olfway18: TIFU by putting my laptop onto my lap
Small bit of context; I am a TF2 player and trader through and through. I'm on holiday right now so I brought my laptop in order play and trade
What I was unaware of is the fact that my laptop gets very VERY hot
I had put my laptop on my bed, without thinking of how the bedsheets would affect the flow of air and cooling and then thought, "hey... I'll just put this on my lap as the fans are a bit loud"
So without checking I put the laptop onto my lap... It was extremely hot
So hot as in I managed to burn my thighs and having to run them under cold water for the past 20 mins..
I'm sure it's ok, but I'm a bit of a worrier and as I'm in a foreign country, I'm terribly anxious about the health care here! But as I said.. I think it's ok?
TL;DR: Laptop got far too hot, somehow thought it was a good idea to put on my lap, and burned my thighs and had to apply lots of cold water, in a foreign country.
phillipjhart: Running cool water over first degree burns (red skin but no blisters) until they stop stinging is the appropriate treatment method. Try to wear loose clothing to keep from irritating the area too much and you'll heal up just fine.
the1andonlytom: Kinda unrelated but, as a non english speaker i never understood the difference between first, second, and third degree burns. Is first like less than 10 and second less than 100 or something like that?
phillipjhart: To clarify, in this case the word "degree" indicates a classification system not a temperature range.
the1andonlytom: That's stupid
foxjohnc87: Not stupid, since the word degree has an alternate meaning that's unrelated to temperature.
| 6 | 19.833333 | |
1660344148 | 1660400522 | t3_wmy8ax | t5_2to41 | 5,350 | Living_Tie_9270: TIFU by overreacting when my gf passed gas
I was laying in bed with my girl friend and catching up on our day. Every thing was great until, in the middle of our conversation, she decides to break wind and it was the worst thing i have ever heard/smelled. It was so bad to the point that i suddenly jumped out of bed to escape the smell. in the process of doing so, i hear a “pop” and immediately dislocated my shoulder.
just when i thought it could not get any worse, i started to lose my vision and i fainted. I woke up 4 mins later to my girlfriend hovering over me crying because i was shaking when i passed out and she thought i was having a seizure.
As soon as i woke up i immediately throw up because I was so nauseous from the pain. In a sling for a few weeks, I can’t believe this is the reason why.
TL;DR: my girlfriend passed gas and it frightened me so badly that i jumped up from bed and dislocated my shoulder, fainted, and threw up everywhere.
Tiger_Widow: Jesus poor girl lmao. Imagine this from her perspective. I mean it's not gonna give you much confidence is it 😂
xgamer444: She's never gonna fart again
Guilty farts have got no rhythm
Though it's easy to pretend
I know you're not a fool
The_Truth_Believe_Me: Should have know better than to spray a friend
And waste the chance that she's been given.
So she's never going to fart again the way she farted on you.
godisaturkeysandwich: Duh nuh nuh nuh NUH NAH NAH NAH BLAH DA DA BUH BLAH DA DUH
Rockyraccoon04: Tonight she farted so damn loud
Dislocated my shoulder, barfed and passed out
Maybe it’s better this way
We hurt each other with farts we hide away
We could’ve farted loud together
We could’ve been in this cloud forever
But now who’s going to fart with me
Please spray
HonestAbram: This weekend is off to a great start! Thank you for your flatulence.
SnakePlisken603: Don’t you mean… great shart?
HonestAbram: I flushed that opportunity away. Touche!
| 9 | 594.444444 | |
1660348417 | 1660359574 | t3_wmzrz5 | t5_2to41 | 72 | rabbitt-we: TIFU Talks Episode #46! Come share your storiesss 😜
superorangello: This is dumb. Nobody is telling TIFU
rabbitt-we: We went into a truth or truth game atm haha If you have a TIFU, please raise your hand
superorangello: Had it raised for 20 mins
JC1812: I don’t remember seeing it.
| 5 | 14.4 | |
1660348759 | 1660390720 | t3_wmzwb5 | t5_2to41 | 6,136 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my wife she can date women
[deleted]
waverider1883: First, I'm kind of in the same boat as you. I would be okay if my so was seeing another woman but not another guy. My reasoning behind it is there things a woman can give her that I can't, if you catch my drift...
Second, it sounds like she has been talking to the ex bf behind your back for a bit. That's not okay by any standard.
Finally, if she wants to be poly and you don't, you may be headed for an impasse in your relationship. You could allow it and either be okay in time or become jealous and resentful. Or you could say no and either she learns to live it or she becomes resentful. Finally, she could end up cheating which would definitely ruin the marriage.
I would not want to be in your spot right now
beyond-boundary: I would not care if my wife is fucking with another woman. As long as it is not a guy. and again Me avarage Joe on reddit.
onenaughtygirlplease: Why? She may very well fall in love with her.
beyond-boundary: she can love both.
onenaughtygirlplease: Yes. That's my point. So why would you let a bisexual partner sleep with a woman, but not a man?
beyond-boundary: man and woman different. I would not want any dick enter my wife's. but anyway this is just my opinion.
onenaughtygirlplease: Of course they're different. Statistically, a woman would give me more orgasms in a relationship, and most women don't orgasm from penetration anyway.
So what's the real reason? What's the difference between a dick and female fingers/a female tongue/a strap on?
Also, you do realise, bisexuality is not only about sex, do you?
beyond-boundary: i do not care about sex. I got jealous even when my gf talks with other guys. but when she tells me about how hot other girls are. I don't feel anything. One time she asked me nudes pics of girls I send a lot.
onenaughtygirlplease: Is that because you don't see relationships, sex and love between women as legit?
beyond-boundary: You are right. they can love but i do not care.
onenaughtygirlplease: Why? If she's bisexual, these things are legit to her and exactly the same as with you.
You wouldn't care if you let your wife sleep with another person and she'd leave you for them?
beyond-boundary: That is another case. If she does not love me anymore, she can leave. Like any other releationships. I will be sad of course. But no jealousy.
onenaughtygirlplease: That sounds pretty sexist, to be honest.
beyond-boundary: I do not know what that word means and do not care. You americans like to call others with these words like sexist, facist. Idk why r they judging and naming every other decisions.
onenaughtygirlplease: I'm not American and I don't believe for a second you've never heard the word "sexist".
beyond-boundary: I have. but idk what those words mean. I think those words are for offending me like calling gay hate man homophobic. no?
| 17 | 360.941176 | |
1660349181 | 1660379166 | t3_wn01zh | t5_2to41 | 27 | FrostForest1928: TIFU by coming out as Asexual
My first ever serious relationship ended today- and I just wish it wasn’t like how it happened. Me (18F) and my… ex (18M) had been dating for nearly 2 years now. We are both each other’s first serious relationship, and he’s really helped me understand a lot about myself, and relationships. But whenever the question of taking it to the next step, of doing more intimate things, came up- I always froze up. It was always “I don’t know” or “I don’t think I’m ready” I just never had a strong desire to do anything. My anxiety about the subject was so strong I would often cry talking about it with him. He brought it up a lot, but never really pressured me into anything. He just wanted to help me be as comfortable as possible and was willing to do anything for that. This ended up with me thinking I was Demisexual, which means I don’t feel sexual attraction until I already have a close relationship with a person. But the most recent strategy he tried to get me more comfortable was to ask myself “why” … why I would want to be more intimate. So I did and quite literally came up with nothing. The only thing I could think of was for Pleasure, and that wasn’t a good enough reason for me. So this culminated in me piecing together on my own time that I’m Ace. We planned to go eat out today as my treat for him finishing up his summer school and graduating. when I picked him up I started talking about my day like I always do. I was enthusiastically talking about the recent thoughts my neurodivergant brain had come up with- one of which being the fact I never had a gay awaking (I’m bi-Romantic) and the realization that the reason I never did was because I was Asexual. The second I casually mentioned that I could see a turn on his face. He said “but I thought you were Demi?” And I then explained what I’d realized with the “why” questions. I could see a look of worry and disappointment on his face as I started to drive us to the place we were gonna eat. It was silent, I tried to make conversation cause I hate a silent car… but he wasn’t responding like he normally would. When we got to the parking lot I asked him hat he was thinking about and we got to talking. He brought up how he valued the Intimacy of sex and was worried it was a dealbreaker for him. This ended with us driving to my place without getting food and talking about if this was gonna work out. We decided in the end that it wasn’t. And that’s where we ended it.
I wish I hadn’t brought it up so casually, it made me feel so bad that that’s how it ended. A slip of the tongue leading to a serious conversation that ended it all. Yes it would’ve ended eventually because of me being ace but it should’ve started as a conversation, not a detail in a story about an old favorite tv show character of mine. Now I’m hungry af, sad and single for the first time in Awhile.
TLDR- I came out as Asexual casually in passing conversation not realizing it was a dealbreaker for my now ex bf and instead of gettin a congratulatory dinner for him. we ended up breaking up after a long conversation.
Bryanole27: Sexuality can be an ever-changing and fluid thing. Why are young people so concerned about definitions and labels? So desperate to fit into a box at 18 years old vs exploring and changing as you get older.
No disrespect, as a 40 year old man, I ask this sincerely.
housevil: Sexuality is a spectrum. It's a paradox to think of any sexual activity as 'normal.' It gets better but it also gets vastly more complicated.
Bryanole27: Agreed, which is exactly why people should avoid labels altogether. But to the contrary, it seems people are borderline desperate for a label and/or definition. At 18, your hormones are barely even getting off the ground and are nowhere near there final form.
FrostForest1928: I’m sorry but I find calling growing up “achieving your final form” extremely funny.
But really I get what your saying and thank you for being so polite And respectful with your concern.
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1660350900 | 1660381214 | t3_wn0nxi | t5_2to41 | 23,592 | indignantlyandgently: TIFU by giving my husband a 23andme kit for his birthday
TIFU by giving my husband a 23andme kit, because he found more than he was expecting.
He never knew who his father was, just a physical description and first name. His mother didn't bother tracking him down when she discovered (months later) that she was pregnant.
He wanted to find his father and mentioned he wanted to do a kit someday. So, when they went on sale, I picked one up for him. We sent it off the same day it arrived, and this week got the results.
A first cousin! Another cousin of his father's! And other cousin matches from that family. It was exciting, until one of the cousins sent him a message. 3 messages into the exchange they revealed that the family, and his father, has Huntington's disease, wishing my husband "good luck and God bless."
He's been referred for genetic testing and isn't showing any symptoms right now, but damn. We have kids. He didn't expect anything like this.
Tl;dr: bought a genetic kit for my husband and now he has a 50/50 shot of having a horrible, fatal disorder.
Edit: I realize now that, despite our initial intense shock and dismay, this is the opposite of a FU. I was blinded in the moment by an oppressive sense of guilt. I deeply appreciate all of the kind words and advice offered in this thread. I definitely didn't come here expecting so many supportive responses.
pnwWaiter: You didn't change the fact of if he has it, and any preparation is better than none. Maybe there's studies he can be a part of, and that could change everything. Best of luck and science to your family
indignantlyandgently: This post and comments like yours have helped me realize maybe I really didn't FU. If anything the FU was not doing a kit sooner. Thank you for your kind words.
Rbnanderson: Life insurance before you go to that appointment but here's hoping for the best
indignantlyandgently: Didn't even think of that. Thank you, and thank you for your kind words.
calimotolife: Repeating information I’ve heard delete this post for insurance reasons
Randommaggy: If OP lives in a country where such things is a necessity.
Edit: quick post history check indicates Canadian so OP does not have to worry about messing up their husband's and kids' chance of getting healthcare at a reasonable price.
fourthfloorgreg: Life insurance is not healthcare.
bishopbyday: No. It's financial peace of mind for the survivors when everything else is going down the shitter.
round-earth-theory: And it's impossible to get when you've been diagnosed with a terminal illness.
ITS_ALRIGHT_ITS_OK: And we're right back at "this American life"
Dragonvine: You know Canada doesn't have public life insurance, right? You still need to buy it and you still won't get a good plan with that diagnosis.
ITS_ALRIGHT_ITS_OK: I didn't know because I don't live in Canada. I doubt any country has public life insurance. However, I'm old enough to remember when preexisting conditions fucked with your health insurance in the states. Like a decade ago.
Why would Canada, or anyone else, agree to pay every life insurance policy? We all die and they'd be a failed business super quick.
I'm not naive. I know the broad strokes of health and life insurance in normal countries. America (and I mean the USA. Yes I know there are plenty of countries in the americas) is like the mother animal that eats her kids to survive and we all look on in horror. That's what the OC screamed at me, and if I'm wrong, I'd love to be corrected.
Dragonvine: Of course life insurance doesn't pay out everyone, that is why life insurance sells terms. They are betting that you will survive the term you paid the premium for so they don't have to pay you out. They won't give someone that they think should die in 10 years a 20 year policy, because they would have to pay out.
That is why OC is saying to get life insurance before that doctor's appointment. If they know he has the disease because a doctor diagnoses it, the insurance company would know and therefore wouldn't get a surefire payout.
It has nothing to do with healthcare and nothing to do with America.
ITS_ALRIGHT_ITS_OK: You're right, I got sidetracked and projected it onto you. Not fair.
However, AFAI, you can get life insurance even with a terminal illness just like you can get one as a smoker. It will cost you out the wazoo, but it's still available.
| 15 | 1,572.8 | |
1660351008 | 1660435024 | t3_wn0p9p | t5_2to41 | 27 | abisma_l: TIFU by asking an old friend where the sheets were
Tifu by going to Walmart and asking someone I(24F) used to be friends with where the sheets are. She(25F) does work there in that section of Walmart. I didn't say anything rude just "Hey where are the sheets?"
She told me where they were and now I'm getting notifications that they're saying their going to take legal action against me.
The friendship ended over a month ago because I told them to stop sharing my personal medical information to people I don't know and then they sent hate mail to my other friend blaming them. Then said I hacked into a discord account to get the screenshots when I definitely did not.
Someone invited me in and told me to look for myself at what they said. So I did and that was shitty of me I guess because privacy. But also don't be telling people what I'm diagnosed with and my medication. Also they were talking really badly about me like how I'm man obsessed because I hung out with a guy. Also how I'm not really attracted to women because I've never had sex with one. But hey intimacy is scary I'm waiting for a patient partner and have only dated asexual women. I then said hey we need to talk about this because there seems to be an issue with our friendship we should acknowledge.
Then they sent our mutual friend who let me in hate mail and threatened to kill themselves and said it was my fault that they would. Thankfully they didn't. It ended with me blocking her and thinking oh well shit happens let's just live our lives.
So over a month later with no contact I thought why not show that it's okay to be peaceful and we can interact without drama. What's the big deal it's just asking where the sheets are?
I am a fool.
Anyways now I may be sued or have a restraining order against me because I asked an old friend where the sheets were while they were working. But hey now I know where the sheets are in that Walmart.
TLDR I went to Walmart where an ex friend works. Asked where the sheets were. Now I'm maybe being sued.
PicklePillz: This lawsuit holds as much water as a colander.
WhisperedEchoes85: So does this post... there *has* to be so much more that OP is intentionally withholding.
abisma_l: To be honest the maybe missing piece is that this person has done a lot more to me in the past. Like treated me like a doll and would freak out if I didn't behave the way they wanted me to. I'm obviously not perfect and have hurt their feelings by ending the friendship but it was toxic. The last thing they said to me was a link to their go fund me.
WhisperedEchoes85: They may be very narcissistic, but who knows.
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1660352590 | 1660357612 | t3_wn19f3 | t5_2to41 | 49 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving girl I was dating hickeys all over
[deleted]
meestaShin: lol. Now you know better, or at least I hope you do. Control yourself, boner boy.
Unlikely_Kale_2144: Do you think she's pissed?
meestaShin: who knows? You should ask her yourself. I don't know her. lol
| 4 | 12.25 | |
1660354187 | 1660358837 | t3_wn1teb | t5_2to41 | 54 | BIGCraigConroy: TIFU By getting my back waxed before a trip
Happened a while back.
Two of my best friends were finally getting married, they had been together for 10 years and decided they would tie the knot. They were going to do a destination wedding to Mexico, needless to say we were all very excited and couldn't wait to get down there and party in the tropic heat with all the free booze we could handle, with the added perk of seeing our friends get married!
After a year of waiting with anticipation, it was finally here, we were one week away from our Mexican holiday. My wife suggests that I wax my back, according to her my back "looks like a brown T-Shirt with holes in it". After a while of denying, I finally give in, why not, a smooth back couldn't hurt.....were my famous last words.
My appointment was Tuesday, holy shit, that fuckin sucked. No matter what anybody says, woman go through the most heinous shit for beautification, hat's off to you ladies, turns out I'm a pussy. Wednesday I wake up, back is itchy, wife tells me that it's normal for the first little bit, especially since I had a rainforest growing on me, cool cool, I ignore it.....it's get's worse and worse as the day progresses, wife tells me to suck it up. I do.
Thursday arrives, my back is now itchy, and slightly burny....huh. I think whatever, woman go through this, I can too. I'm about to shower, I'm standing in front of the tub waiting for the water to get warm, wife comes in, stops in her tracks and gives an audible gasp. I figure she just stubbed her toe or something as we have a tile that's slightly lifting in the bathroom, turns out she gasped at my back, which at this point has broken out into the gnarliest looking hellscape of what appeared to be acne mixed with herpes. God fucking damn it.
Smash cut - I'm in the doctor's office being told I have a particularly bad case of " Folliculitis ". I get some antibiotics prescribed to me, ones that are on the more powerful side, along with a list of things I should try to avoid for the next two weeks, which include:
\- Heavy exposure to sunlight
\- Alcohol (because of the antibiotics)
\- Pool water - as the chemicals can make it worse
Basically the main three things I was planning on doing the following week. I was so fuckin pissed. I still went to Mexico obviously, holy shit salt water stung real bad.
P.S - To top it all off I lost my glasses within the first 45 mins of being at the resort.
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TL;DR - Got a heavy case of folliculitis a week before a tropical destination wedding, had to avoid swimming in the pools because of the chemicals and alcohol because of the antibiotics I was prescribed.
totcczar: I think the moral of this story is that your wife would like you to find a way to deforest your hindchest.
BIGCraigConroy: I used "nair" one time.....you ever scrape old stucco off a ceiling?
totcczar: Dude, as someone who gets nods of respect from silverbacks at the zoo, I understand. I've tried that too, and until that day, I had no idea Nair could scream.
Givemeurhats: This trio of comments is just great. I like the use of hindchest
| 5 | 10.8 | |
1660355346 | 1660356171 | t3_wn27rw | t5_2to41 | 26 | ausmankpopfan: TIFU By agreeing to have a Netflix and chill session with the lady I had been talking to online for over a week
This actually happened last night .
I had been talking to a lady online for over a week and we got on well she had sent me a photo I had sent her one .
The whole time has just been nice normal chatting no hint of what was to unfold
It was Friday night and I asked her on a date to the movies she suggested we Netflix and chill at her place or mine I said ok I'll come to yours
Well she lived in the next town over about 50kms away
She give me her address and I drive to the house when I get there I see a number of cars out the frot so I call her nothing.
I message a couple of times and then call again and still nothing so I get a bad feeling and drive to the nearest supermarket
When I get there she apologises and she was in the shower
I asked about the cars and she says they are her cousins and partner who has left them there while going away
I drive back message her and she says she will be right out but then said if we have some fun will you help me out with a little reward
Now alarm bells go off .
She says she won't come out and let me in if I I'm not happy to reward her
I say we can talk about it in person when she comes out and she now says I must somehow send her money before she will come out.
Now full alarm bells
It is at this moment the door of the house opens and 3 people come out and walk to my car asking what I'm doing in front of the house.
They have been having a party and here I was a random man at front of their house
After a minute or so of a very stressful situation and conversation they calm down and accepted I was a duped idiot
Tldr drove 100 kms round trip to a house with people who I didn't know after being scammed by a week-long conversation.
Almost had issues with house Occupants for a total scam
Edit those of you downvoting me why?
pogiguy2020: You are lucky you still have all your organs in tact and did not wake up missing a kidney or something.
ausmankpopfan: Trust me I have been thinking exactly that and stuff like it since last night actually scared me
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1660355495 | 1660411453 | t3_wn29mn | t5_2to41 | 84 | Starkiller_303: TIFU by going to a massage parlor
This happened 10 minutes ago. I was feeling out of sorts after a long week. A coworker had off-handedly mentioned that a nearby massage place sometimes offered happy endings. I decided to check it out. I went in and honestly had a really nice massage. However, the 2nd half hour of the time was basically half edging the whole time. So when she finally offered to give the boys some attention, I gave her a shrug and the "might as well" face. This somewhat attractive woman in her 40s with hands strong enough to crack walnuts started going to town.
About 90 seconds later I have quite the explosion. I don't know why it was pointed just so, but I got the first large rope right on my face.
The masseuse can't contain herself and let's go and starts laughing uncontrollably. Now I'm mid-orgasm and my member has no one steering. I release another 4 ropes. Pointed nowhere in particular. Now it's on her, mostly on me, on the floor.... it was a warzone.
THEN. She falls off her stool and thumps loudly against the wall. Still laughing. Fast forward the most embarrassing 10 seconds of my life, and another masseuse opens the door to make sure her coworker is okay.
Que everyone awkwardly looking from person to person for a few seconds. The new lady's jaw actually dropped. Then she starts laughing too.
At this point I just want to melt into the wall so I grab the hot towel and start to clean myself off as I turn towards the wall. Oh great. There's some massage juice there too.
I wipe my beard off and dress quickly, leave an awkward tip and peace the fuck out of there. Now I'm sitting in my car, typing this as my beard still smells like cum.
Tl;dr: went to a happy ending massage parlor. Ended up shooting my load on my own face as two Asian women died with laughter at my expense.
ElectricPaladin: That happened to me once. Not the massage parlor, but jizzing on my own face. I had a girlfriend once misjudge the angle and get me in the eye - it hurt like the Dickens. I'm glad I didn't have a beard.
scinfeced2wolf: I've had hit go up my nose before.
| 3 | 28 | |
1660359758 | 1660404033 | t3_wn3paz | t5_2to41 | 1,333 | Pickettfence_8: TIFU by finding out my mom found my vibrators.
I’m not going to say my age for various reasons, but my F, 43F mother found my vibrators that I had hidden away. I stashed them inside a pillow in bed, and they’ve been there like that for over a year. I recently went off to church camp (ironic), and was gone for a week. While gone it’s now clear to me that my mom cleaned my room, really cleaned my room. When I got back I noticed the pillows we’re empty, and my vibrators we’re gone. I started panicking and searching my room up and down. While finally looking in my bedside drawer low and behold my 2 precious vibrators laid. Not only we’re they put THERE but they had been very obviously CLEANED. Do you know how embarrassing that is, having known your mother cleaned your vibrators? I mean finding them is one thing, BUT CLEANING THEM? This women is on crack. Since I noticed she hasn’t said one word to me and I pray to god that she never does.
Edit: So you guys are coming for me for them being dirty, which i completely understand, but you at least deserve an explanation as to why. I use them at night, and after each time I use them I can’t wash them immediately. I live in a house of 7 kids, and my two parents, so it’s hard to sneak two vibrators into the bathroom to clean them at night. I usually clean them the day after. Sometimes I forget, which i know isn’t great, but it happens. I could tell they we’re cleaned because they still had water droplets on them, and we’re a little wet.
TL;DR - While away at church camp my mom found my vibrators, moved them, and cleaned them, before putting them in my bedside drawer.
PLEASEHIREZ: As a guy, if I find my hypotehticsl son's cum sock, I'm going to throw that bitch out, and put a clean fresh one in it's place.
MrGeekman: Why do some guys cum in a sock? Why not use toilet paper and flush it?
Eldhannas: I have never questioned why my sons have rolls of toilet paper near their computers. Sometimes you just need to blow your nose while gaming, right? ;-)
shady__redditor: With mobile phones nowadays, there is no excuse to not just do it on the toilet. Fast cleanup.
pragnienie1993: Porn obviously looks better on a 55" OLED screen than it does on a 6" LED, so there's that at least.
Nero3k: Back in my day you had one moldy Playboy that you had found in the woods and you were forever grateful.
MadMaui: Why was there so much porn in the woods back then?
onyxaj: Less chance that your religious zealot parents find it and demonize you in front of the entire church.
| 9 | 148.111111 | |
1660319701 | 1660366530 | t3_wmoqke | t5_2to41 | 14 | felicityrose5: TIFU by overestimating my parenting abilities
On Wednesday, I picked my kiddo Alex (8) up after 12 days. Alex goes annually to spend time with extended family, which also gives spouse and I some kid-free time. Alex has been diagnosed with composite ADHD, which we address with medicine, a routine, and behavioral therapy. (This is relevant.)
Yesterday, I made plans to take Alex and two of their friends (Parker, Morgan) to a large scale water park a couple of hours from where we live (a rain check from earlier in the summer). It was the first morning that I needed to do our usual routine, but we were excited about the trip, and I was out of the habit of checking the pill boxes. About a third of the way there, I realized that I forgot to give Alex the morning dose of medicine AND to bring the afternoon pills. I made the executive decision to say screw it, I’ll deal with the consequences… it can’t be that bad.
(Ron Howard voiceover: She didn’t know how wrong she was.)
Background: It had been two years since we started medication for Alex. It usually wears off in the afternoon shortly after school lets out, but we give it on the weekends to maintain a routine and, honestly, it’s much better for the whole family. Alex even comments about how it is easier to think and accomplish things while on the meds.
This was the first med-free day I experienced since we started treatment. During the car ride, I played a movie for the kids, and Alex was interjecting every minute about the movie (quoting a line, giving away the plot, etc.) to the point where Morgan repeatedly asked Alex to be quiet.
When we got to the water park, it took 20 minutes to get Alex sunscreened (the other two took 5) because Alex kept jumping around. Once inside, Alex was touching every surface, walking into people, climbing on off-limits areas and generally ignoring everything I would say. Alex would run far ahead or lag behind while walking from attraction to attraction. Asking them to stop would work for 0.2 milliseconds before they bounded further ahead of us. Alex was in timeout for a total of 45 minutes on the day (out of the 5ish hours we had), during which Parker and Morgan were hanging around or playing in one of the wave pools.
When it was time to go, I was so stressed, I bought a large funnel cake to “share” (I let the 3 kids have decent sized pieces but stress-ate the lion’s share). The drive home was punctuated by shushes to Alex to keep from spoiling another movie.
The rest of the night was a blur to me. We were mentally and physically exhausted from the day, and my spouse handled the bedtime routine. It was a hard day that was 1000% my fault, and I will never ever forget Alex’s meds again.
TL;DR: Forgot to give kiddo their meds on their first day back. I decided to power through the parenting but overestimated my abilities.
Infamous-Magician505: May i ask why you are using a third person to address your kid ?
Bubblesnaily: OP is using gender neutral terms and could be doing so for any number of reasons.
Infamous-Magician505: I think she's a part of Alphabet Mafia
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1660363780 | 1660402589 | t3_wn50ut | t5_2to41 | 13 | pgkpgkpgk: TIFU by blowing up a bathroom in a club
This happened a few hours ago and tbh it’s not that bad, I just feel bad. But me and 5 girl friends decided to do a slutty-girl night in downtown Austin. It started with dinner and a few cocktails. The second cocktail I couldn’t finish because it was too sweet and I think that’s where the problem started.
We move to a bar where I have so much gas. I decide not to hold it in and do a few silent but deadly rips. That outdoor bar was BOMBED. At some point we move back indoors (with me crop dusting all the way to the door) and I decide to try loosing all my gas at once in the bathroom. Club bathrooms aren’t great but I could tell when I walked in this was more than gas… I set up the my seat protector and then blew my brains out my ass. To paint this scene: I’m wearing the skimpiest outfit of all the girls, my best friend could probably pinpoint all the rips I was doing outside on me, and there was one of those awkward bathroom attendants just listening in on me trying to camouflage my sharts with toilette flushes.
The night goes on and I pretend I didn’t just drop a deuce in my clubbing outfit. The night was fine, but fuck that was uncomfortable.
TLDR: was dressed super skimpy/sexy, got an upset stomach and had an Octuple flush in a club bathroom.
ThatOhioanGuy: I know your pain. I have UC which is like Crohn's and I've been in similar situations at some gay bars...sometimes you gotta just laugh it off.
AcrobaticSource3: I have IBS also, and it sucks, never know when it’s gonna creep up on you...or creep out of you
415manwithagun: Does it something actually creep out without warning? Sorry you have to go through that.
AcrobaticSource3: It varies. Sometimes my ass explodes. Other times, I suddenly feel a subtle wet sensation down there. Sometimes it’s my period and sometimes it’s shit. And then there’s everything in between
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1660367507 | 1660370492 | t3_wn662c | t5_2to41 | 46 | GemJess: TIFU bed bugs ruined my family
TIFU I bought a second hand bed about 2 weeks ago it was a really good bed and it was cheap and since my partner had not long lost his job due to unfortunate reasons just as we broke our bed and we've barely been getting by as it is so we thought we were really lucky to find this bed. Roll on a week later I start getting lumps all up arms and im like wtf it's so itchy and annoying but I thought since here in the UK we had a heatwave it was a heat rash or something that'll clear up soon but it didn't and then my partner got it and he was just as equally confused as me about it but then literally juat 5 hours ago im lay in bed and a damn bed bug crawls up my arm. At this point I freak out but try to stay quiet as my 9 month old is in our room in his cot. I get up and inspect the bed to find literally hundreds all inside the headboard I have to just run out the bedroom because I am in shock and I sat in our front room. When I hit me. I really fucked up getting us that bed because now we have to pay for pest control, a new bed, a new mattress for our baby, basically wash every bit of clothing in the house on the highest heat. With my partner losing his job we are literally broke we have nothing until benefits kick in at then end of the month and then it's a case of we have to pay for all that shit to be dealt with and then try to feed ourselves but of course we won't do that I would rather go without so my baby can eat and thats how its got to be sometimes. I really, really fucked up. I'm sat here crying, im full of bites, my partner is full of bites and worst of all my baby has bites on him. I feel like the worst person and parent on earth right now I have single handedly bankrupt us and officially going to make us starve until we can figure something out.
TL:DR I bankrupted and ruined my family by buying a second hand bed and got infested with bed bugs
EPscumbag: After my encounter I wouldn’t wish those demons on my worst enemy. The good news is if you catch the source early you can eliminate them (throwing out the original source) otherwise waiting a few weeks will allow them to spread
GemJess: We've had the bed about 2 and a half weeks do you think we could be okay just throwing out the bed and hoovering the carpet daily? I hate to think they've spread around the whole place we live in a 2 bed flat so they could have access everywhere really
EPscumbag: Yes, their mating cycle is kind of long so likely haven’t spread from their original spot yet. toss the bed/box spring/head board ASAP. Baby bedding too, just to be sure. Dry your clothes and linen on highest heat. They nest close to source of food and are attracted to Co2 so hoover couch/ chairs anywhere you spend time sitting.
GemJess: Thank you so much for your advice I really hope it works you might of just saved us from financial ruin
| 5 | 9.2 | |
1660364083 | 1660491467 | t3_wn54ba | t5_2to41 | 360 | TheHolyThighness: TIFU by flirting with this guy
Background: Back in April, I went through a really nasty breakup after dating this one guy for two years. Back in June, I decided that I wasn’t really gonna care as much anymore and just go with the flow and see where things go. I wanted to safely experiment with people to see more of what I liked.
What’s going on currently:
I have a very flirty personality and kind of started flirting with this guy, didn’t really expect anything to happen due to past experience with him. Usually kind of a jerk to people but very interesting to me in “other” aspects. I did not expect him to actually flirt back. He would drunk text me from time to time flirting with me but I never thought he had too much interest in me.
After about a week of texting and flirting things ended up happening and he became a lot more into me. As we talked more and more he’s also seemed to get more into me like when talking about relationships he mentions how great of a girlfriend he thinks I probably am or when I talk about how I love cooking for my partners when I am in a relationship he started listing off all of his favorite foods. He also was asking me my intentions with him on if I am on the market for more than just a fwb because in his words,” I’m my experience women don’t usually pay this much attention to a guy unless they like that guy a bit.”
Overall, I think he’s interesting in many ways and I do enjoy talking to him but I by far do not want a relationship. I should be leaving in about a year for my next step in college and I especially am not into long distance stuff.
My especially main issue is that a very close guy friend of mine was trying to get with this guy I’m flirting with. (I asked permission first before even trying to flirt). The guy was only wanting my friends body and is very straight up about that while my friend wanted a relationship. I showed my friend the texts and he was just like,” Damn you reeled him in and you weren’t even trying.” Now the situation is reverse where the guy wants the relationship and I don’t. I feel bad even though my friend is fine with it.
TLDR; With permission went after a guy my friend had previously wanted to be with and now he wants to be with me.
AcrobaticSource3: Solution: threesome
TheHolyThighness: Would be slightly confusing in the act of it lol. They both have the same name.
AcrobaticSource3: That’s good, it would be less confusing, and you don’t have to be worried about saying the wrong name!
TheHolyThighness: I have since told my guy friend about this post and your response of threesome. His joking response was,” big brain moment. I call middle!”
AcrobaticSource3: Lol!
| 6 | 60 | |
1660372297 | 1660416154 | t3_wn7j11 | t5_2to41 | 31 | lambchopstrawberry: TIFU by soaking my feet in listerine for too long
I tried a listerine and white vinegar soak that I saw on tik tok. It's supposed to make the dead skin on your feet come off super easily. The ratio was 1 part
listerine, 1 part white vinegar and 2 parts water. I was planning to just let them soak for an hour or 1.5 hours, but I did it while I was working from home and got so busy I couldn't find time to take my feet out to scrub them, so I just let them stay in there. I thought it would just make it that much easier to scrape the dead skin off. I ended up leaving them in the mixture for 3 hours.
My feet turned blue but I guess that's normal. I scrubbed my feet with my pumice stone and the dead skin came right off. When I went to wash my feet after I saw that they were even more white than they were before. I could
also still smell the listerine coming from my feet. So I soaked them 3 times after in warm water for 10 minutes each scrubbing them with soap and a scrub
brush each time and changing the water each time.
The blue is gone but my feet still have white patches that weren't there before, they also have this cool tingly feeling like they're still soaking in listerine, and they still smell like listerine. I’ve put coconut oil on them twice but my feet absorb it so fast they feel dry in 5 minutes and smell like listerine again.
Can the white skin go back to a normal color? Or am I now going to have super dry nasty feet?
I couldn't find anything on the internet on what to do so any recommendations would be very much appreciated.
TL;DR: I soaked my feet in a listerine/vinegar mix with water for 3 hours and my feet look worse than they did before the soak. I also still can’t get the listerine smell out of my feet and I’m scared I ruined my feet.
MikeyMBCA: Yeah, the Listerine and vinegar soak has been around a hell of a lot longer than Tiktok. My grandmother did this when I was a kid and I'm damn near half a century old.
A couple of tips:
Use the brown Listerine. No dye and it has alcohol in it, which helps it work faster.
Change the ratio to 1 part each of Listerine, vinegar and hot water.
20-30 minutes soak time is all you need.
And the O'Keefe's Healthy Feet cream is fantastic after you scrub off the dead skin. But it is kinda greasy, so don't walk around on Linoleum or tile. You WILL wipe out.
KatiePotatie1986: No joke, wasn't listerine originally intended as a foot soak? I swear I read that somewhere years ago.
Squigglepig52: Also as a douche.
Yes, for there.
KatiePotatie1986: Lysol was advertised as a douche as well.
solstice_gilder: I can only imagine the burn …
| 6 | 5.166667 | |
1660372520 | 1660374466 | t3_wn7l6k | t5_2to41 | 34 | theSong_Thief: TIFU by playing video games in class
Alright, it’s not as bad as it sounds, or at least I think. So I had a dream last night and it strongly reminded me of something that happened not long ago and that I will begin following the consequences in a few weeks.
The setup:
So I (minor, female) have recently moved from Australia back to my blood country, the Netherlands. This was about half a year ago. We found a school for me and off I went.
I’m one of those shy people who loosens up once you get to know them, with strong puberty in the making. I never really fit in, mainly because I joined halfway through the school year and because, well, I don’t try anymore. I also like to hang out with boys more than with girls, because, well, I’m not interested in that one celebrity who just got married or that new makeup set that just got released. I just want to do something (some people call me hyperactive). For that reason I have started sitting next to the boys. Also my class has a 1:2 ratio for boys:girls.
The fuck up:
So our school uses iPads a lot for our school work, and internet is… ummm. Tempting. They have two solutions for that.
1. Stalk your iPad
2. Block all games from your iPad
I can’t see my games yet I see my classmates playing video games. So I’m like ‘if they haven’t been told off, I probably won’t, right??’ Spoiler: wrong. So I download a vpn that everyone uses, activate it, watch an ad, update some other app that controls my apps, and bam, I can play my games. So I play my games during class that I’m probably not supposed to do that in, and I’m all good.
Around a month or so later for me doing this, I’ve been sitting next to this one guys who is really nice and just a great friend overall, I play a game during French, the teacher finds out, it’s humiliating, bla-di-bla-di-bla. My mentor finds out, tells my mum, who tells my dad, and my family kinda knows it too. Many teachers have seen me game too, and together they formulated a plan.
The punishment:
I was not allowed to sit next to my friend for: well idk. They say he is a bad influence and that I’ve changed.
The thing is, I haven’t changed, I’ve just shown my true colors!
The problem is, I don’t this kind it’s fair, many other kids game and they don’t get punished. So why me, the girl from Australia, who has literally no other friends than him, has literally some of the best grades in class, and is still dealing with the fact that she moved!? I don’t even know if it was a fair punishment! Could someone please enlighten me?
TL;DR I played video games in class and now I can’t sit next to probably my only friend anymore.
Basey124: I don't know if it's fair, but I think from the perspective of your parents etc it looks reasonable.
Maybe u can talk to your parents and explain them your situation. That it's hard for u to find friends and that he isn't a bad influence at all... they could understand u if u are able to make this point
theSong_Thief: Thanks for the advice! I’ll see if I can tell them!
Basey124: Please write an update, if the situation changes :)
theSong_Thief: I will!
| 5 | 6.8 | |
1660367627 | 1660391529 | t3_wn67d3 | t5_2to41 | 47 | Arkader4108: TIFU by scheduling my IELTS (English language test) on a bad date and now my gf wants to break up TT _ TT
So.. the FU happened this morning.
I am in my senior year and plan on going outside of the country for my master's. My Gf has similar goals and we were happily working together on it...
The applications needed an English language proficiency proof in the form of a test and we scheduled it on the 26th of this month.
She had suggested we do it on the 28th but I planned on travelling that day, so a little bit of convincing and we were now doing it on the 26th.
All was good, tests got booked and we were preparing..... Until this morning.
We have a system of college campus placements here which means that the college brings in companies and kindof makes sure they get a job.
A company that we both planned to apply to ended up scheduling it's dates such that the interviews fall on the same day as our tests, so boom : (
(Also, I ain't allowed to talk to the company because it's under the college placement rules)
And as you might be wondering, my gf proceeded to get mad at me and call me an ill fortune and decided she wasn't interested in me anymore. She's had a pretty rough few years in middle and high school where marks = happiness, so she's extremely oriented to throw me out if I hinder her progress in the more materialistic sense; so yes, I am now on the plank, waiting to be pushed off.
tl;dr: I made my gf pick an exam date with me, which led to it coinciding the day the only company we wished to apply to had scheduled their interviews. Now she's mad and idk what to do.
Arkader4108: I agree ...
Update: I met her and talked it out. Turns out she just wants me to stay away from her in major stuff like giving tests together or maybe studying together etc.
I guess that's alright and we're not breaking up : )
Nevon47: It seems abit harsh the way she treats you. Its not like you intentionally to make her miss the recruitment. What if next time it happens to be that some recruitment day falls on her test day and not yours? She will definitely blame you for not doing it together and will mostly likely force you to join her to miss the day to show you love her or sth. Becareful man.
Arkader4108: Interesting views. I'll keep these in mind for what what happens next
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1660375339 | 1660376241 | t3_wn8csy | t5_2to41 | 9 | LostSadYoung: TIFU by getting drunk with my gf.
So last night I (15M) went out with my gf (15F) as she was originally meant to meet her friend but she never came out so I met her instead.
It was going great until she had 1 too many shots and got extremely drunk, bare in mind that I had 4 by this point and she was on 6 of some over strong vodka.
So we were sat on a field just chilling when we decide to play truth or dare, it starts off mild just mainly truths and some silly dares until it gets to my dare and I get hit with "I dare you to fuck me right here". I said no I can't, it's in the open and it feels wrong to do it because of how drunk we both are. (We have dont the deed many times before sober btw)
She persists so I try to but it really didn't feel right so I told her that, she instead says "Fine I will just suck you off then" and proceeded to do so and asked me to eat her our if I wont have sex, I obliged but after I had finished. It really set it what I did.
I feel like I raped her even know I made sure that she was 200% sure about everything at least 6 times and she was that drunk that she started throwing up and couldn't remember that it even happened which is worse.
To add a cherry to the top, her friend that she was meant to meet came down to the field we were at whilst looking for her and happened to stumble across me holding back my gf hair and helping her to be sick but with no clothes on at the bottom half. She came rushing up to me and asked why the fuck she has no pants on, I explained and she told me that it really doesn't look good on me and I agreed.
TL;DR my gf got near blackout drunk and wanted to have sex with me so I did and felt like I raped her Then her friend found us with her bottoms off and her being sick.
Update:
So everything is fine between me and my gf now, she said that she can remember asking me to do things and she told her friend that. And our relationship is way better than ever now so everything has worked out good.
Basey124: At 14... wow
Ähhm I think u both fucked up, yes...
I think the best would be talking with her, about everything:
- What happened
- how u felt
- how u think it looked like
- and how u wish to proceed
LostSadYoung: I'm hoping that I will be able to and I'm hoping that her friend didn't make me out to be an extremely bad person because she was going off on me about how bad it looks and how I should be ashamed.
Basey124: This could be solved too, if you talk to her. If u can't talk to her, write her. Like u did in this post...
LostSadYoung: I know, I'm just waiting for her to wake up as this was literally this morning at 3 am.
Basey124: Let us know how it went... :)
LostSadYoung: I will do, I hope it goes well.
| 7 | 1.285714 | |
1660377423 | 1660415705 | t3_wn8wwc | t5_2to41 | 137 | LadyMegbeth: TIFU by sexually propositioning my married former boss
It's been years since I've seen or communicated with this man. We are superficially connected on social media, but that's it. When we worked together, I always felt sexual tension any time I was in his office or interacting with him in any way. It was so strong \[like to the point of causing my body temperature to rapidly rise in his mere presence\], I assumed it was mutual. Welllllll, I was wrong.
Over the last few years I've been having increasingly intense recurring dreams about him; it's always the same theme of me bumping into him at a hotel bar during a conference, flirting, and trying to convince him to spend just one night with me. I can tell he wants to, but he resists because it's so wrong, which of course turns me on even more.
Anyway, this morning I awoke from another one of these sexually frustrated dreams and for some reason decided to contact him out of the blue to let him know - just in case. Is it magical thinking? I dunno; I just felt that I would have regretted it if I didn't unveil my secret crush. Maybe he and his wife are swingers or something?
They're not. After I awkwardly communicated my crazy, he gently let me know that he had no idea that I 'have always had the hots for him', he's 'happily married', his 'needs are met', and he 'wouldn't want to jeopardize' what he has because it is 'too important' to him. 😬
He let me down with class and grace, of which I probably don't deserve. I was impressed - and then exceedingly embarrassed after the thrill of it all wore off.
TL;DR I professed my sexual attraction to my married former boss because of a recurring dream in which I'm trying to seduce him at a work conference; making a fool of myself, of course.
Hamoct: his wife must be hotter
l187l: Or maybe he just loves her...
Hamoct: I wonder how many sexual harassment trials would be if the genders were reversed
l187l: Wtf are you talking about?! The post is about a women who told a man how she feels. How is this inappropriate? You need help...
FASClNATlON: Somebody downvoted me for facts, but if the roles were reversed 😂
l187l: Umm facts? Where did you get your facts from? Because she never said she asked him to smash... She said that she told him about her crush on him though... Maybe you're just so fucked up in the head that you don't even know what reality is.
FASClNATlON: She told him what she wanted (made a sexual advance) and he said “I’m happy married, and my needs are met” if he said that, he knew she implied she wanted to have sex. How’s this any different then a regular “hey, wanna bang?” Text?
l187l: Yeah... I forgot. It's rape if you talk to women. You're totally right.
In the real world, sex is the topic of a lot of conversations. You internet creeps are the ones that make it weird and cringy.
FASClNATlON: I’m not sure you understand what I’m saying because your context is lost on me. I’m calling out a double standard… I don’t know what you’re talking about
l187l: I'm saying there's nothing wrong with her behavior regardless of gender.
FASClNATlON: Yeah bruh, you really can’t just say “I find you sexually attractive” to people you hardly know. That’s not okay. I didn’t guess nor wonder. That shits mad weird. Try that in person 😂 see how far you get
| 12 | 11.416667 | |
1660384977 | 1660387592 | t3_wnawp8 | t5_2to41 | 11 | redditadmindumb87: TIFU: By turning my B which was upgraded to an A back into a B.
I took a college class I sorta struggled but the professor and I got along really well. The main reason I struggled is cause one test I bombed really hard. Well after the semster ended I had earned a B in the class.
The professor made the decision to bump my grade up to an A because he felt like I understood the concepts and I did well on a lot of his tests just one test really missed up my grade (I got a 40% On that test).
I bragged to a class mate, who was upset they didn't get the same treatment so they filled a grievance with my college. This apparently went up to the dean, the dean reviewed the information and apparently decided my professor was not being fair in his grading policy by upgrading my grade (Apparently I was the only student he upgraded a grade for)
So my professor got in trouble and my grade got reverted back to a B.
Had I just kept my mouth shut I'd have gotten an A :(
TL:DR my professor was extra nice to me I bragged, he got in trouble my grade got converted back to a B :(
A few notes
* I did not ask my professor for any favors, he decided on his own
* I did legit earn a B and I was perfectly fine with that grade...an A would have been nicer.
Last-Gasp100: Sometimes in life someone does is a kindness and not others. Be fuckin humble next time
redditadmindumb87: Lesson learned
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1660385764 | 1660506603 | t3_wnb4eh | t5_2to41 | 20 | Domidoms: TIFU by going to a comedy show
I (35f) have friends staying at ours for the Fringe festival. I went to see a comedy show that turned out to be all about ADHD in women.
They went into detail, in a comedic way, about a lack of object permanence (a running joke I have with my fiancée that I don't have object permanence), the lack of concentration, the forgetting things like friends or items they love (I do this all the time and forget about activities I'm into because I've not done it for a while, objects I have, friends that I've not talked to for a while), the interrupting conversations (something I have to really concentrate on not doing so I'm not bursting in to conversations but at the same time it feels like if I don't say in that moment then I'll forget so it's hard for me), how they can zone out of conversations (which I also do), how they struggle to do boring repetitive tasks and there is a lot of procrastination and mind focussing on other things (oh my god, this!), and about logically focussing on other things that aren't the main point (the thing I've been told my ENTIRE life is how I need to get my priorities straight).
My brother is ADHD and acts very differently, running around, restless, breaking things, it was not an easy childhood as a sibling to an ADHD sibling. I guess we were so focused on him that it was never a consideration to test me too. Also, didn't know until the comedy show that women having ADHD presents differently
Ahh, anyway so yes. I guess thank you to the comedy, it is more than I expected from a comedy show called 'thank god fish don't have hands'. Well I guess I'm off to find out how I get an ADHD assessment in Scotland.
TL:DR: TIFU by going to a comedy show and finding out I'm probably ADHD.
Basey124: It isnt necessarily bad, if u know about it know. U can take care of it and deal with it in a way u a comfortable with
Domidoms: It was a bit of a shock, still in shock, it's a good thing though apparently expensive for the assessment but yeah, if there's ways to improve I'll take them. Just at the moment, still in shock. Wasn't expecting anything more than laughs from a comedy show.
Basey124: Understable, but you will get through this time!
Domidoms: Thank you
| 5 | 4 | |
1660389360 | 1660472318 | t3_wnc47c | t5_2to41 | 40 | ActualPimpHagrid: TIFU while talking to a colleague in the US who just came back from maternity leave
[removed]
Booskop89: <sarcasm> Wow, what a huge fuckup, I can't believe you did that. </sarcasm>
Don't sweat it, just apologize if you and/or her think it's neccessary...
Also, according to [this](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/maternity-leave-by-country) website Canada doesn't have maternity leave at all. I guess companies provide for it, or you're insured for it? A lot of other countries seem to have better arrangements for it?
HmmWhatNameToPick: Your own source shows Canada has 16 weeks of leave.
Booskop89: When I sort by "Min. Leave (wks)" Canada has no number. In the column "Optional Leave (wks)" it shows 5? Not sure where the 16 comes from...
Also, "% Income Paid" is set to 0.00% next to both of those columns...
HmmWhatNameToPick: When you click on Canada in the map, it shows
Type: Maternity
Min. Leave (wks): 16
% Income Paid: 47.70%
Optional Leave (wks): 35
% Income Paid: 52.00%
Total Leave (wks): 51.00%
Avg % Income: 50.60%
When you scroll down to the table, you have to sort type by maternity, not paternity. Paternity is what you said with the optional leave weeks of 5. When type is maternity it shows 16 weeks min., 47.7% income paid, optional leave 35 weeks, income paid 52%
Booskop89: Alright, my bad then. Thanks for clearing that up :)
| 6 | 6.666667 | |
1660394694 | 1660415246 | t3_wndoyl | t5_2to41 | 5,804 | Village_Capable: TIFU by letting my Mother use my phone
This happened yesterday and still a bit shaken by it, My mother who I thought was a nice woman found out about my girlfriend who I have been dating for 4 months now, i was hiding the relationship because I knew or I thought I knew how she would react until yesterday, she went and snooped on my phone and found out about me and my girlfriend. She wasn’t mad but she said the most disrespectful thing I’ve ever heard from her, my girlfriend is Vietnamese and African American and I thought she would accept that but she said that I was desperate, and I could do better, and even asked why is she black. I was heartbroken and I don’t know what to do or say. And she has yet to apologize for her words she even called me disgusting for liking her, I told her I love her and she just laughed at my face I don’t have anyone in my family who will support me. And I told her when we move to Canada there will be people like her there and she looked baffled and even said “No there isn’t bobo (stupid) “ I never knew she can be like this, I resent this family
TL;DR my Mother is extremely racist
senanthic: I mean, I live in Canada. Lots of mixed-race people here. Mom might want to fix herself before she runs into trouble with her attitude.
testiculius-caeser: of course she’s not gonna react so ostensibly in public
PreApocalypticTime: ostensibly doesn't mean what you ostensibly think it means
testiculius-caeser: I know, i just really wanted to use it there and it felt right
PreApocalypticTime: and yet it is not
testiculius-caeser: i just checked the definition, surprisingly my usage falls under the definition:
“stretched out to view” aka conspicuous
PreApocalypticTime: you can convince yourself of anything to protect your ego. no one can stop you.
testiculius-caeser: I take it you didn’t google the word or fully understand its roots. I’ll leave you to it
PreApocalypticTime: [this should help](https://www.wikihow.com/Admit-Mistakes)
testiculius-caeser: [my last attempt at helping you](https://searchengineland.com/guide/how-to-use-google-to-search)
| 11 | 527.636364 | |
1660397055 | 1660479174 | t3_wnegza | t5_2to41 | 261 | Codeinehaze: TIFU by trying to give children a fun activity over summer break
I work in a nursery, we have two session times with some children staying for one session and going home (around 12pm) others starting at the second session and leaving after and children who stay through both sessions. I was recently (on friday) given the task of cleaning out our junk cupboard which is a room filled with resources, games, books, toys etc.
Whilst sorting through the cupboard, after the first session had ended and some children had went home, I happened across a pack of miniture 'grow your own' eggs that you dissolve in water and then grow an animal from.
Now, Friday was the last day that our nursery would be open before the new term starts and our preschool children move to reception. I figured it would be fun to give out the eggs to the children who were being collected at the end of the second session. They could grow them over the time we're closed and share photos and drawings with us via an app we all use. I counted how many eggs there were and made sure we had enough for the children going home from the second session onwards.
Fast forward to the end of the session and i was unable to give the eggs out but a colleague said they'd help and hand them out instead. All was fine.
This morning i decided to check the app to see if we had any uploads of eggs...
Instead i was greeted with messages from parents complaining that their child hadn't been given one, that their child had smashed the egg because the parent didn't know to put it in water, (instructions were given) that siblings were crying because the parents had told them they could ALL have one, and more messages. Not one parent said thank you and honestly I'm wondering how on earth a spontaneous attempt at giving children a fun experience has turned into such a crying fest.
Anyway, yeah TIFU. Fully expecting an email from the manager to tell us all that we cannot give out any spontaneous gifts to children anymore 🙃
TL;DR
'Grow your own' eggs cause chaos with entitled parents at nursery, spontaneous events most likely banned.
pzzia02: Parents tend to be shit for some reason i say keep doing it and email al parents first if they complain refer to the email and say oh well and maybe do them in pairs of 3 or something to alleviate the sharing issue which honestly is bs these parents with their share everything is stupid
bobattac: I feel like they don't get paid enough for that lmao
pzzia02: Nope i know but she probably didnt get paid ebough for the initial stuff either
HandoJobrissian: None of us get paid enough. Toys and activities come out of pocket, most daycare costs only cover keeping the building running and the lights on.
| 5 | 52.2 | |
1660400218 | 1660402633 | t3_wnfk6r | t5_2to41 | 17 | throwawaysplat473: TIFU by letting my grandparents call my dad while he was out with friends.
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TurkeyDinner547: Sounds like your dad was looking for some breathing room during a long visit from his parents, and calling pestered him while he was trying to enjoy a few precious hours out of the house. Perhaps he could have been a bit more polite, or you guys could just not have bothered him simply because you're bored. Everyone has a breaking point, after all.
doctorhino: Then he shouldnt have given a time he would be home and just said all night. He is a grown adult leaving people wondering where he is instead of just saying I'm going to stay out until 1am now, don't wait up.
TurkeyDinner547: Well obviously the time ran a bit long. The last thing you should do in that situation is to start calling and pestering him like he's a teenager. If he wants to be late, he's earned that right. Don't wait up means don't wait up.
doctorhino: He didn't say don't wait up, he said I'll be home at 10 at the latest. Calling someone to find out where they are doesn't mean you are treating them like a teen, if he can't take a simple call and tell people his plans he is being obtuse.
Sounds like he was drunk and beligerant. Not just trying to have fun.
TurkeyDinner547: Like I said, he could have been more polite. But I suspect his parents and child had worked themselves into a worry state, and from his perspective were being a bit overbearing. Agree, he should have called to say he would be out later, and then probably would have been chastised for drinking at the pub, hence the avoidance. These things happen.
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1660404299 | 1660404885 | t3_wnh33u | t5_2to41 | 4 | BigDaddysLady: TIFU My man's idea if we find money
[removed]
Basey124: This is a double standard situation. He can't expect that someone is giving him his money back, while he is planning to keep found money...
It's still kind of silly to talk about this kind of _"what if, if something happens"_
BigDaddysLady: His point is that no one ever gives him his money back so why should he give back theirs.
What ifs give us a lot to talk about and it's fun.
Basey124: Yeah I understand that it's fun, but me and my gf learned that it also could lead to problems. That's why we just talk about the silliest what if problems xD
Well he got his money back one time, but I can relate him. Even I wouldn't handle it like this
| 4 | 1 | |
1660404566 | 1660405691 | t3_wnh6n7 | t5_2to41 | 89 | [deleted]: Tifu by having to go shit in a porta potty and getting splashed
[deleted]
Basey124: This is a true _fu_! I don't know about any sicknesses, but it's disgusting.
I can relate this way to much, cause its happened to me too one time... I didnt got burns or something. I just had a _loooong shower_ afterwards
dingdongiamstupid: Believe me, I'm thinking about a second shower and kinda still hoping to wake up from a nightmare.
Basey124: Relatable, but hopefully u will forget it in a few months and never read about in on reddit that reminds u about it
Just saying
dingdongiamstupid: I'm just really hoping the porta potty blue chemicals killed whatever was in the soup, and my body will kill anything that was not killed by the soup, you know?
Basey124: I believe anything was killed by that soup. That's why there is this soup, but I don't know anything about how its functioning, so it's just a bold guess mixed with a lot of hope
dingdongiamstupid: From what I've read it should kill everything in the soup. Key word should. And most of the icky stuff from other people like viruses die without body to body contact a.k.a anywhere but the body.
| 7 | 12.714286 | |
1660405925 | 1660407840 | t3_wnhoqq | t5_2to41 | 16 | Badfriend112233: TIFU by throwing a two hundred year old coin down the toilet
When living in europe you can find some interesting and very old things on the ground if you're lucky. My dad's found several old coins just walking around in the countryside, which I have finally gotten around to cleaning. These past few days I haven't been getting any sleep and, alongside being hungover, I think I had a truly Big Dumb moment this afternoon.
So I'm cleaning the coins. They're pretty roughed up, both copper and I'm new to this so I'm trying out a few different methods and checking up on them often. One is a [1796 Carlos iv 4 maravedis](https://www.google.com/search?q=4+maravedis+carlos+iv&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwilu_OEkcT5AhW2gc4BHYCSClEQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=4+maravedis+carlos+iv&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoECCMQJzoHCCMQ6gIQJzoFCAAQgAQ6CAgAEIAEELEDOgsIABCABBCxAxCDAToECAAQQzoICAAQsQMQgwE6BAgAEAM6BggAEB4QBToGCAAQHhAIOgQIABAeOgQIABAYUMkJWM_DAWCYxgFoAnAAeACAAXCIAdoRkgEENi4xNpgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nsAEKwAEB&sclient=img&ei=WsP3YqWmI7aDur4PgKWqiAU&bih=571&biw=1189) and it looks about as clean as I can get it for now, so I wash it in the bathroom and dry it in some toilet paper and put it on the counter. I think. Obviously here is the fuck up. I have no idea what I did with it after that, it's like a blank in my memory. I clean off the plastic plate I was using to contain the coins, research a different method to clean copper, get out a cup and get started on the other, dirtier coin (probably an 1800's diez centimos coin).
In that time frame the first coin goes missing. I think that I grabbed it when it was inside the tp drying off and threw it in the toilet 🥴. I have searched my apartment in all the places it could be and cant find it. I even went it the toilet with a glove on and dug around the tp but it wasn't there, but idk maybe the weight of it pushed it down the slope of the pipe?? I only noticed it was gone when I finished with the second coin. Gah I flushed the toilet afterwards too so idek I can't even think straight. I really hope I put it somewhere stupid, but my apartment is really small and in my heart I think I know that it's gone.
TL;DR I very likely threw a cool old coin that looks like a pirate dubloon into the toilet in a spaced out moment. Like when you throw out garbage and then immediately rub your eye or something. At best, I simply lost it.
Basey124: Well well, that is something u can't change anymore.
Badfriend112233: I know...I just hate myself a little bit rn lol
Basey124: And its reasonable. You will survive it _somehow_
I believe in you! xD
| 4 | 4 | |
1660406877 | 1660517277 | t3_wni1yd | t5_2to41 | 72 | pandashrock22: TIFU when my parent’s dog ate my rubber
Obligatory didn’t happen today because wasn’t discovered until next day.
My partner and I are watching my family’s golden for the week and he’s the best. He’s 8, well behaved, has a great life. If he doesn’t get enough love during the day he may rip up the bathroom garbage but that’s it...
Well last night my partner and I are out for 3-4 hours, I feel bad he didn’t get his daily W in but it’s usually not a big deal. I did forget to shut bathroom door but normally it’s not an issue.
Come home, there’s period products and toenail clippings all over the bathroom floor from the waste bin , I’m like whoops and just clean it up no biggie.
Next day he’s a little antsy when I take him for his walk, but nothing out of the ordinary. I knew there’d been a condom at bottom of the trash but as it wasn’t on the floor I’d assumed he hadn’t gotten to it.
All of the sudden, mid-walk he just starts popping. No warning, no sniffing, literally middle of the sidewalk, and to make it worse, I’ve forgotten a bag.
I noticed there’s some plastic in the poop I’m thinking that’s bad but he’s a big dog, I know he’ll be fine.
I grab a stick just to get the poop off of the sidewalk and into some dirt so I can come back for it but nobody’s gonna step in it.
Well I flick a little harder than I meant to and the poop flies apart mid-air, my condom flies out and overshoots the dirt and is just in the street.
Cleaned it up and all but I feel SO BAD.
TL;DR: Dog ate bathroom garbage, swallowed condom, pooped it out on the sidewalk in my neighborhood.
Comments, go crazy.
v0kk3r: If he pooped it completely you're good. You'll be surprised in the amount stuff your dog can ingest without harm.
pandashrock22: I was very surprised, it looked exactly the same, just went clean through little man’s digestive track
hennythingcanhappen-: My dog once swallowed my head band and she passed pretty the whole thing, but it did get a little stuck when it was 90% of the way out and I had to pull it the rest of the way 😭
| 4 | 18 | |
1660407636 | 1660566115 | t3_wnick7 | t5_2to41 | 27 | notintelligent23: TIFU by calling my best friend a whore
I (20m) told My Best friend (19f) She's a whore, let me explain.
(English it's not My first language si sorry for My writting) I met My Best friend during the pandemic, we were in the same university bye they end off 2020 we first start talking because we need to do a class work, she's the best thing that have ever happened in my life, I love her more than anything, she has helped me in a lot of things, whenever I'm feeling bad, I'll go to her and she makes me feel alive, she makes me happy.
The problem started 3 days ago, we were together with a friend of mine and out of nowhere she left with another man to have some beers before class, I was upset because we already have talk about him, that I dislike that man and she said that she wouldn't go out with him, after class we were talking, everything was fine between us, but out of the blue I told her that if she wants to go out with him, she can go, but she can't talk to me if she's gonna leave me for him, it was a stupid comment, and rude as fuck, after that I told her that while she is going out with some guys, she needs to stop acting in a certain way, because for the group of friends she hangs out with, she's a whore, which they have told her while they're drunk, but I'm not to good with words, so what she heard was me calling her a whore, after that conversation I left thinking that I didn't do anything wrong.
The next day I went to her and I tried to hug her, she said that if I touch her again she would stamp my head against the wall, after class I started walking next to her trying to ask her what was wrong (in my stupidity I didn't known anything) she finally snaps and screams at me "leave me alone", it broke my heart.
Yesterday I finally get that she explains me what happened, and I feel awful, she says that is for the best that we stop our friendship, I don't want that, I tried to explain to her what I meant, but she won't believe me and I can't blame her. She told me that I was the only person that makes her feel better, and it broke her heart that I used that same word to describe her, I'm an idiot, I know it, but I can't live without her, she's the only person I love, the only person I ever love, and I don't want her to go, what can I do for her to forgive me? Or at least talk with me?
TL;DR I called my best friend a whore and I may have lost her forever
Edit: So, I don't know what the fuck happened, I just talked with her and she says that we will never come back to being friends, after that I showed my feelings to her, I told her everything she meant to me and advice her one last time about everything I could think of, after that she told me that she would never stop talking to me, and that I will always will be my friend, I don't know what the fuck happened, was she playing with me? Did I cry and think about everything I have ever done while she wasn't that mad?
I'm glad that it's more or less fine now, but I don't know what to think, I think is better that I take it and let it be.
EvilTodd1970: You were fucking up all the way. You say she's a friend, but you act like a boyfriend. You should accept that you're not her boyfriend, and you're not in control of her. If you are truly friends, you will find a way to reconcile the friendship. If not, you're only 20 years old, there will be others.
Midtownpatagonia: Yah OP has a weird complex. “She can’t talk to me if she’s gonna leave me for him”. Like wtf dude?
She’s a human being. She can do whatever she wants. Friends just give opinions. They don’t control them. That’s not only weird but abusive. If you dont like someone who she is attracted to then just make adjustments to when you hang out with her. That’s actually real life. The world doesn’t revolve around you dude.
Honestly, the advice that i would give you is to grow the fuck up. And i hope one her friends tell hers that you got some sort of power trip over her.
That or just reveal your feelings. I don’t know but i get a sense that there is a reason why you feel so powerfully about who she wants to do and date. My money is on that you have something for her.
Or you’re a kid who just needs to grow up. It can be both.
notintelligent23: I understand, I think I may be in love with her, but I will never tell her, I think is the best I grow the fuck up like you said, I don't know how...
Midtownpatagonia: Umm. Talk to her. Why would you want to sign yourself up for a life of pain of not knowing. Honestly, this is the biggest part of growing up. You kind of have to walk away from people who intentionally or unintentionally cause you pain.
Worst thing: she said she doesnt feel the same way. Obviously, there is nothing wrong with that. But you can make a decision of distancing yourself and moving on. It would probably solidify that you cant actually do anything about her love life because its clear that she doesnt view you that way. At least you know and at least you can move on. But the way you gotta to do this is learning that the world doesnt give a fuck of what you want— you kind of have to ask for it and see what the universe decides for you. You have to accept that. Talk to her tomorrow.
Or it may be exactly what you wanted.
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1660407740 | 1660431476 | t3_wnie0f | t5_2to41 | 116 | Ok-Seaworthiness5949: TIFU by using a vibrator while having sex with my boyfriend
My boyfriend (21 m) and I (22 f) have been together for about 3 and a half years, so we have plenty of experience doing the hanky panky together. On this particular night, which happens to be last night, my boyfriend and I got pretty drunk. He's more of a heavyweight and on a scale of how drunk we were he was around a 6/10. I'm more of a lightweight and I was closer to a 7/10. We were just sitting on the couch watching a movie, enjoying our time together. But then one thing lead to another and things were getting hot and heavy. Just the usual stuff, I would stand up to grab some water he would pull me down onto his lap and start kissing me. After this goes on for a little bit he eventually asked me if I wanted to take things into the bedroom. Of course I agreed because... he's like crazy hot, and I love him. Once we get in the bedroom we start making out and he takes off my clothes. At this point I was super excited. I lay down on the bed while he gets a condom from his drawer. I frantically take off my bra and remember that I brought my vibrator with me (that my loving boyfriend gifted me on my last birthday). I grab it out of my bag and put it next to me on the bed, I look up at him with wide eyes as I anticipate what is coming next. We begin to "do it" and after a little while I ask him if it's cool that I use the vibrator, and of course he says yes. So I turn it on and everything is going amazing. This continues for about 10 minutes, and then things begin to get rougher, and don't get me wrong, I love rough and it felt amazing. But there was one problem. See, the vibrator is somewhat soft on the outside, but under the top layer it is quite hard. Now, this vibrator is pressed on my clit as my boyfriend is pounding me, which is essentially causing me to be punched in the clit by the vibrator. We were both a little too drunk to notice, and since I have a pretty high pain tolerance and didn't feel anything but pleasure. But once we finished, that's when I noticed. When my boyfriend stood up to dispose of the condom I felt a warm and painful sensation on my genitals. I asked him to come look and see if something was wrong, so he checks it out and says that he doesn't notice anything. I obviously go in for further inspection for myself and see that the entire left "lip" is swollen to about twice the size it should be. I pointed it out to him and he was quite surprised once he realized. Fortunately it was no big deal and we now know to be more careful with that. We had a good laugh about it and once I woke up this morning it was practically back to normal. Just don't make the same mistake we did.
TL;DR
I used a vibrator while my boyfriend and I had sex and ended up with a swollen "lip" from the thrusting, punching the vibrator into my clit.
BigPum: “ he’s like crazy hot “ yet she said he was 6/10!
ScotnCan: I too was confused by this. At first I thought it was odd she rated him a 6/10 and rated herself a 7/10.
vilidj_idjit: haha same mistake 😆
| 4 | 29 | |
1660408528 | 1660526901 | t3_wnip3o | t5_2to41 | 25,433 | FutureRobotWordplay: TIFU by being too open-minded on a post looking for roommates.
TIFU by being too open-minded on a post looking for roommates.
Pretty much the title. My post looking for roommates in NYC said "open to 420+/LGBTQ+/pets+/whatever just be normal." I thought I was being open and accepting. Pay your rent and don't be creepy were my basic parameters.
So, a heroin addict moved in and shortly after a girl I had never seen before overdosed and died in my apartment.
Later, the roommate told me that he assumed the 420+ meant hard drugs were good to go. That's why he moved in. I didn't mean 420+ like that.
Now I've seen a dead person and bags of needles and a dead person in a body bag, in the same night.
I guess it was her second time doing heroin. She was hammered drunk. They gave her Narcan but it didn't work well enough apparently.
The roommate was a surprisingly good dude and a friend. He is clean and sober now.
I'll never have random roommates again.
Don't do drugs, kids.
TLDR: posted looking for roommates saying 420+ whatever was fine and roommate's friend overdosed on heroin and died.
TechnoVicking: I wonder what pets+ would mean. A pet goat? Multiple horses to fit in a bedroom? A hundred pythons?
FutureRobotWordplay: I was thinking tarantulas
TechnoVicking: Nah, those are chill enough to count as fish. Just vibing inside a glass, doing nothing.
ButWhatIfItQueffed: I bundle all "cage pets" in the same area. Lizards, Snakes, Spiders, Rats, Guinea Pigs, all basically the same animal as far as size and noise constraints go.
Godzuki17: Guinea pigs can be loud af at times though with their squeals. I had one when I was in high school.
Cagy_Cephalopod: Seriously. I'd take a quiet reptile over a cute, fuzzy noise generator any day.
eggrollin2200: Sometimes when I let my lizard out to roam, she’s so fucking quiet I briefly forget until she walks up to me 😂
turret_buddy2: "Hello owner. Id like to go to my home now."
"oh fuck, I forgot I owned you"
eggrollin2200: No but seriously, I’ll be playing botw and suddenly look up and go “o_o where is my lizard?”
orangpelupa: Lizardfroz?
eggrollin2200: Did you just give me an idea for her Halloween costume
orangpelupa: hey! share the photo when you gave the costume! if you don't mind
| 13 | 1,956.384615 | |
1660410838 | 1660458015 | t3_wnjkpq | t5_2to41 | 539 | luckaeweb: TIFU by using an image from Google on my website.
I got slapped with a copyright infringement claim and ultimately had to settle for $750 for an image I never intended to use.
I started developing a website in WordPress about 8 years ago, and during that time I grabbed an image off of Google image search as placeholders while figuring out the layout.
The image never made it onto the live website, but I never actually deleted the demo page I used it on or thought to hide it from search engines. The website has gone many revisions since then, and ultimately I completely forgot about any of these early draft pages.
Well, the organization that holds the copyright to the image managed to use tools to find that image still sitting on my server 7 years later, and I got contacted by their law firm that they wanted over $2000 in damages.
The law is definitely on their side, it was a stupid lazy error on my part, and take this as a warning that you better have a license or permission for every image you use on your own websites.
TL;DR: I got fined $750 for using an image from Google search on my website.
chaz0723: So they sued you or did you just willingly fork over money? Seems like a cease and desist should've came first.
luckaeweb: I never received a DMCA, just a letter from their attorneys offering to settle or take it to court. I sent them some details and asked them to drop the claim, which they refused. They were willing to negotiate it down. The minimum fine in court would have been $750, plus legal fees. So, I settled out of court.
geekmug: They are willing to negotiate it down because the ROI of you handing over $750 after a few emails is amazing. In contrast, a court would require them to actually establish facts that they own the copyright and that they had damages, which would require a lawyer to represent them, and that costs real money compared to a secretary sending you a few emails. In the end, it would be difficult to justify going to a court for less than $10k or even more in some cases.
luckaeweb: $750 is also cheaper than me hiring a lawyer to defend myself in court. 🤪
redwolf587: I think the person above you is just saying that they would lose money than they would make (as it would be a difficult legal case), and it may have just been a threat. As you said, lawyers cost money, same for them.
ravenwolfstar: Exactly this and I think the case probably could have been easily dropped just by having the demo page taken down. You didn't make any money off that demo page lol.
| 7 | 77 | |
1660410083 | 1661266457 | t3_wnjala | t5_2to41 | 6 | CommaHorror: TIFU By telling TJ Miller to "suck my Cheez Whiz"
There is a bit of a back story to this story. Last summer I was working at a very tiny little sandwich, shop. It was the middle of the summer last year and like all small mom and pops stores we had an equipment issue on one of the hottest days of the summer.
We have a massive grill, fryers and a conveyor oven in a tiny tiny ,tiny building. Our hood/exhaust fan belt had snapped and it was literally over 120 degrees in the building. I am pretty, sure I was hallucinating.
Anyhow two gentlemen come in and they both reek beautifully of money. One has a massive gold hip hop chain on, and they just have that swag about them that screams, “our life is fun, and we don’t work in a 150 degree kitchen”. They both had masks on so I couldn’t get a good look at them. I’m behind the grill and our cashier is talking to them. The tall one with the gorgeous goldilocks sounds just like TJ Miller. But no way would TJ Miller be in this town-let alone on a Wednesday.
After a few minutes of talking-the two gentlemen walk out of the store and the cashier comes back to the kitchen and shrugs, “they wanted Cheez Whiz”.
Without looking up from the grill I decided I should say, “did you tell them they can ‘suck my cheez whiz (and even did a Stone Cold Steve Austin 'suck it' motion)”. As I am saying this I look up and see the tall guy still in the lobby, staring at me. He then asks about Italian Beefs and I tell him our other location has both of those. He sounded so much like one of my favorite actors/comedians I even asked the cashier if the guy looked like TJ Miller (I pulled up a photo online to compare). She said, “yea maybe a little.”
I continue my shift and think nothing of it.
Fast forward to the next day and another cashier is talking about how his mom was super, impressed with a comedian at the Comedy Club here. Again, I don’t think anything of it (I usually don’t think much if you can’t tell) and continue on my shift. Then maybe an hour or two later the same cashier says, “hey guess who my mom saw last night at the comedy club” and I immediately had flash backs to Goldilocks sucking my cheese whiz. “Fuck it was TJ Miller wasn’t it?” “Yes”.
I then reach out to our other location and find out that TJ and his friend went there, got some sandwiches and took their manager to the show with them and got his stupid hot, sauce. That should have been me.
TLDR: TJ Miller came into my restaurant and never left. He stayed around to hear me suggest to the cashier that he can suck my cheese whiz. He then went to another location and pampered their manager all night.
godROFL: I don't understand the, commas.
ItzMercury: check his username
godROFL: Lol, missed that.
ItzMercury: yeah i, was a bit confused at, first too
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1660413663 | 1660423432 | t3_wnkmex | t5_2to41 | 68 | CodArtwork: TIFU by accepting a verbal job offer and ending up unemployed
TLDR: Got a verbal offer that I accepted, told my boss that I’ll be leaving for this job, company that offered the job eliminated the position and now I’m unemployed because my current employer isn’t renewing my contract and has already hired a replacement.
Since graduating college in May I have had an exceptionally hard time finding a job in my field of data analytics. Being a new graduate I don’t have industry experience, so out of every 50 or so entry level positions I applied to which almost all list 2+ years of experience required, I get about 1-2 interviews.
After my 120th or so application I hear back from a company that wants to interview me, great! The initial phone screen is a breeze and I’m immediately scheduled for a “real” interview in the next few days. This was a technical interview, but I was surprised how basic it was for a position asking for 2+ years of experience seeing as I learned the answers to all of their questions by the end of my sophomore year in college. I pass that with flying colors and I’m scheduled for a second interview with the data team lead.
The second interview goes even better than the last and by the end we have great rapport and are having more of a casual conversation than an interview. I’m then scheduled for a final panel interview to be conducted by a few other key members of the data team to vet me as a candidate and hear about my experience.
This third interview goes super well, and by the end of this one they explicitly tell me how much they like me and how I would be a great fit for the company and their team. I’m over the moon with how well this process has been, especially due to the massive number of no replies I’ve gotten from previous applications, as well as rejections before even getting an interview.
Fast forward two days from the final interview and I get a call from HR. They tell me that the company is going to send me an offer the next day if I’m still interested, and if so what day I can start! During this call they tell me that by the end of the second interview it was a yes, and the third it was a strong yes. They tell me that I did a lot better than other candidates did, and how much everyone enjoyed talking to me and how they were excited that I would be joining them if I accepted.
This is my first real job out of college so of course I’m going to accept it! I tell them that I’m very excited to receive the offer and will send it back to them as soon as I can!
And then nothing. Radio silence for days. I figure things are just moving slowly and I’ll get my offer by the end of the week. It doesn’t come, so I email HR. They tell me that things are still “processing”, and to just hold tight. By this point I’ve already told my employer who knows I’m looking for a new job that I’m going to be leaving for this one because they assured me that I was the best candidate and they wanted to hire me immediately. Because of this, my contract will not be renewed which expires at the end of the pay period, 8/15.
I finally get another update last night about the “processing”, and they tell me that the position that I’ve gone through three rounds of interviews for and presumably others have too is being “paused” and they’re no longer hiring for it.
After months of searching for a job and finally finding one that seems like a great fit where I love the people I’d be working with, it’s back to the drawing board except this time I’m even more stressed out because come Monday I won’t have a job anymore.
tuf77678: Dude you never give your current employer notice until after you’ve signed an offer letter and HR from your new employer confirms your background check cleared.
You just learned a very valuable lesson, unfortunately, the hard way.
CodArtwork: Correct, that’s why this is a fuck up
tuf77678: Just making sure you know how you fucked up so it doesn’t happen again.
CodArtwork: Thanks dad
| 5 | 13.6 | |
1660416777 | 1660417808 | t3_wnlruo | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by seeing my friends new girlfriend naked
[deleted]
treywarp: Idk what's weirder, the fact that he video calls her and they don't talk or the fact that it'd be so terribly awkward that you accidentally saw your friend's girlfriend naked that you couldn't tell him. Idk what to make of this
LucoGamer: It’s a new relationship and I’m sure they’re trying to set the foundation, didn’t want to drop that on them both and maybe cause them to break up or something
| 3 | 11.333333 | |
1660418092 | 1660418875 | t3_wnm9hx | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU By Having the Wrong Last Name in my Phone. Got accused of Cheating with my SILs ex
[deleted]
sandbirde: She's ruining her own damn relationship with him by jumping to conclusions and very blatantly trying to drive a wedge between you two. You don't have much love for her, and it's clear she feels the same about you. I don't have specific advice, but I say you're blameless. That being said, if you're the only one who realizes what happened at this point, explain it to your husband before your SIL has a chance to define the narrative. I'm sure he'll think it's equally ridiculous, but it's still better to hear it from his wife first.
HappySavy22: Ironically, my Husband new John Smith from High School so there wasn't much explaining to do. He is wholeheartedly on my side and furious at his sister for even bringing it all up like she did.
| 3 | 11.666667 | |
1660419488 | 1660479168 | t3_wnmrdb | t5_2to41 | 212 | Viewsfrom125th: TIFU by spending too much at the strip Club
I spent too at the strip club on my first time
This happened last night, I just woke up from it all.
Last night, I went out for drinks with a friend from my old job. We reflected on working together and how things have changed on his team. It was great catching up with him. We definitely needed to blow off some steam. After getting sauced, my guy turned to me and said: "Do you want to see some titties?" I quickly obliged. I had never been to a strip club before and I never really saw myself going to one. I'd probably never agree to go if I wasn't a little buzzed.
We get there and I instantly knew I was going to have a long night. The girls that were there were class. My friend had been to that strip club a couple of times before, so he was giving all the pointers and tips. He was telling me what to look out for and giving me great advice. All of that went out the window when this one shorty went on stage. My friend told me that this strip club has private rooms but they are a pretty penny. After about 8-9 more rounds of beers and a couple more shots, that trip to the private room was looking doable.
I started chopping it up with one of the girls there and I lost all function in my brain. I decided that I'd go to the private room with her. She tells me that would be $600 bucks for 30 minutes. I said fuck it, anything for you. I have been single for a couple of years now and for the last couple of years I've been finishing school and trying to figure out how to break through in my industry, so I said: Why not have some fun?
I had a great 30 mins. She tells me there is a Champagne room where there are no cameras and we could have more "fun". She tells me that would be $1,400 bucks. I said say less. I was not thinking straight at all. I had too much to drink and I was fucked. I tried to complete the transaction on my card but my bank thought it was a fraud transaction. The bartender told me that happens a lot and just use the ATM. I legit showed the bartender my bank account to show I had the money. I was not thinking. I go to the ATM and I take out another $600 bucks. But my bank put another lock on my card because I reached my daily transaction limit. I didn't know my account had one of those because I barely withdraw money from my card. I explain to the bouncer what happened at the ATM and he told me that happens a lot and to go to the BOA outside of the club. I left the club and went to the BOA and waited 15 minutes until it reached midnight to take out more money. But yet again, my card said I reached my limit of daily withdraws.
That is when it hit me, I was really going to drop 1.4K on a stripper. I finally snapped out of my horned-up nightmare. I couldn't believe I spent $600 bucks on the stripper and I was about to give her another 1.4K. I was going to great lengths to pay her out. I quickly thanked the heavens that my bank didn't let any of those transactions go through. I called my friend and I got out of there. I don't think I will be back 😭
TL;DR: I got sauced with a former coworker and I got fleeced of 600 bucks by a stripper. I almost spent 1.4 until I snapped out of it. I finessed my bank into giving me all my money back tho.
freeprince1982: You're lucky those stops are on your card. 600 for a dance is highway robbery. I've seen 20-50 for a dance and I've seen it go up when it's busier because you know supply/demand. But, $600 for 30 minutes is just stupid. Next time stay home and fap, my guy.
Viewsfrom125th: Copy Copy
I’m never stepping foot in a strip club again😭😭
I’m retiring early
K9INE-92: Bro just stroke the chicken at home
Viewsfrom125th: Noted
I’m not going to go there anymore
K9INE-92: Or buy p-hub premium cause 2k for some 🐱is wild
Viewsfrom125th: Bruv… I’m deadass never stepping back in that place
K9INE-92: She had you entranced like she was some witch and you were in her spell😂
Viewsfrom125th: Bruv….. she had me good. She won but never again. This is my first and last time going to the strip club
K9INE-92: You was like a kid on Christmas who don’t even realized they got coal😂 so happy at first but then so so sad and disappointed
Viewsfrom125th: I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I don’t even recognize myself. Afterwards, me and my mans walked by our old office and all I remember us saying were: We got too fucked up and We spent too much money.
K9INE-92: Looked in the mirror and was like “ no fuckin way I did that shit, so fuckin down bad”
Viewsfrom125th: Dummy fr
She caught me while I was in a vulnerable spot and I was down catastrophic last night
K9INE-92: Yo mans set you the fuck up 😂
Viewsfrom125th: Bro fr
I was thinking the same thing
He’s an expert at this stripe club shit and I’m just a rookie and he threw me into the wolves with steaks tied around my neck.
K9INE-92: Bro though he was going to get the complimentary two man 😂
Viewsfrom125th: Bruv……
This is hurting my heart LMAOOOOO
I got fleeced BAD
K9INE-92: Just don’t fall back into this shittery come the holidays Cause then you really gone be fucked up😂
Viewsfrom125th: Hell yeah, I’ve retired early. I hanged up my jersey.
| 19 | 11.157895 | |
1660420209 | 1660545429 | t3_wnn0m0 | t5_2to41 | 16,684 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my house, ruined my marriage, and my entire life.
[deleted]
SHODANs_insect: I wonder if we're getting a very limited perspective here.
If OP is the sort of guy to demand people cut off contact or will smash stuff when angry, then there's quite possibly some context that would reasonably explain why she might want to keep an ordinary and healthy friendship secret from an unreasonably jealous husband.
I'm not saying that's what happened, but just assuming that she was unfaithful and he was unproblematic is quite an assumption given this story.
Ragtatter: This is my first thought too.
No matter what she did to "deserve" it, no matter if she was fucking thirty dudes behind his back, raging out and destroying her things is absolutely an act of violence.
After that point, it doesn't really matter who did what to lead up to it. He got violent.
She needs to get the hell out of there.
proteins911: I can’t believe the number of people here excusing OP’s violent episode. OP sounds dangerous
Ragtatter: Iirc reddit's user base is mostly male. Many of them see it as "just destroying objects". Not as a terrifying, violent episode that guarantees she'll likely never feel safe around him ever again.
Most of them have never been in a situation where a partner has made them feel physically unsafe, and that lack of perspective shows.
Personally, I'd never want to salvage things with a cheater. Divorce them and get out of the relationship. But terrorizing them is not okay.
Gilganjun: A ridiculous take. Trying to push the blame onto the husband when it's the wife who caused the issue to begin with. Every action has a reaction and it's very understandable for anyone to throw a temper tantrum and break a few objects when they just found out their marriage partner is cheating on them.
The person they love and were committed to in a lifelong marriage. Can you begin to imagine the shock to the system and the pain he felt. Instead of addressing the fundamental issue of a wife seeing other men behind her husbands back, you're completely ignoring the woman's conduct and focusing on the man's completely justifiable reaction.
He broke a few inanimate objects that are easily replaced but that was only after she broke the trust of their marriage which may never be repaired.
Ragtatter: If you're coming away thinking I said she's perfectly blameless or that cheating is fine, then you've got rather poor reading comprehension.
Cheating can be emotionally devastating. Cheaters are scumbags, full stop.
However, a person lashing out because they "have a temper" is much, much, much more likely to kill you, even accidentally.
At this point? He needs to get out of this relationship for his mental and emotional well-being.
She needs to get out of this relationship for her physical safety.
If the sexes were flipped--if he were cheating and she trashed the house in a violent rage, my advice would still be the same. Break it off and get out of there before things escalate.
Gilganjun: It's a poorly formulated opinion. Taking one isolated incident, which was a reaction to his wife cheating, as some sort of base standard of the way they commonly interact.
It's blindingly obvious from his post that he was retrospectively shocked by his own rage and that it isn't something which ever happened before. Just like finding out his wife is cheating hasn't happened before. But many people would react in a similar way when confronted with news that their wife or husband is cheating, despite it being way out of character to behave like that.
The poor guy has been made to feel that he's not allowed to express anger his wife cheated. As if he's being stripped of all his humanity and has to repress all emotion. It was a hugely abnormal and painful moment in his life. You're pretending as if it's an everyday thing and then formulating your entire opinion based on that misconception.
Ragtatter: Expressing anger and behaving violently are *not* the same thing and should not be conflated. His anger is absolutely justified. Going on a prolonged violent rampage absolutely is not.
His own comments and replies have made it clear that this was *not* a single isolated incident, and that he had already established a pattern of violent behavior. Screaming, destroying things, throwing things, punching walls, etc.
In reality, there are two possible scenarios here. The first is that he got angry, and chose to behave in a violent manner to terrorize her. If this is the case, he's not a safe person for her to be around, because the next time he gets pissed off he might get violent again, and it might escalate.
The other option is that he is completely out of control of his own behavior when he's startled and upset, which is an even *more* dangerous situation than him making a choice to be violent, because in that scenario not even he can predict what he'll do. If this is the case, he's not a safe person for her to be around, because the next time he gets pissed off he might get violent again, and it might escalate.
In either case, it only takes one "out of character" incident that goes further than he means it to for her to end up dead. Staying would be foolish.
He needs to leave this relationship for his menial health.
She needs to leave this relationship for her physical safety.
Edit: Fixed a typo
Gilganjun: You're trying to enforce your idealized view of how someone should express their anger in a situation where they've just discovered their wife is cheating on them. We don't live in a perfect world where everyone can be in complete control of their emotions in extreme shock situations like this. It's just fanciful idealism which seeks to strip the OP of all humanity and emotion.
Behaving violently is indeed an expression of anger. In fact, it's one of the most natural expressions of anger at our very core as animals. We see displays of aggression and violence across the animal kingdom, and especially among mammals like us. For this poor guy, his animal instinct kicked in and resulted in him smashing a few objects. Big deal. His wife cheated on him so it's a totally understandable, and human, reaction.
The whole issue of his temper tantrum is just a diversion from what should be the focal point on this discussion - his cheating wife.
Ragtatter: The fact that you seem to think it's impossible to express anger without acting out in a violent manner says quite a bit about you, none of it flattering. Get help.
Gilganjun: You're being obtuse with that remark. Yet you're clearly intelligent enough to know better. Expressing anger without violence is common but in an extreme shock situation, it's also common to exhibit uncharacteristic violence.
It's not as if she scratched his car or broke his phone. You know what caused him to enter a blind rage yet you're choosing to ignore it. That's being wilfully ignorant. Focusing on someone who broke a few objects after his wife cheated on him. As if breaking a few inanimate objects is worse than breaking apart a marriage. Where is your empathy.
Ragtatter: >Where is your empathy.
Tucked behind my good sense, right where it belongs. I'm ignoring what triggered the blind rage because it is not relevant to what needs to happen now.
You seem to think I'm siding with the wife and assuming she's a saint. I'm not. I have no love for cheaters. If we take everything he says at face value (we shouldn't, it's just one half of the story), then she is a terrible person.
However, the instant things turn violent is when it is time for a relationship, *any* relationship, to immediately end. Before someone gets hurt. It doesn't matter what someone did to "deserve" violence. It doesn't matter how "out of character" the violence was. (Though based on the other replies he's made, this wasn't out of character at all--destroying all the furniture in the house was a logical building of other violent acts he had been committing. He'd been throwing things and punching holes in walls. This is a clear pattern of escalation.)
Once things turn violent, *that* is what the discussion has to be about. At that point, everything else is irrelevant and the focus needs to be on dissolving the relationship with the least amount of damage done to both parties.
Complaining about cheating in a relationship that has turned violent is a bit like complaining about termites in a house that is currently on fire. Would the termites have taken the structure down? It doesn't matter anymore, *the house is on fire, get out.*
Some people will try to reconcile with cheaters; personally I wouldn't and I don't think anyone should, but an argument can be made for it. But there is no good reason to *ever* reconcile with someone who has been violent in a relationship. If they have done it once, they *will* do it again, and these things do not get better over time.
Break it off on good terms if possible, but still break it off. Staying with someone who responds to their anger with violence is just asking to become yet another statistic.
If we take his word that she cheated on him, I feel for him. I really do. That's awful that she did that to him. Shame on her for destroying the marriage. But physical safety trumps hurt feelings every time.
Gilganjun: I took the time to read what he actually said about punching a wall and throwing a few things. You conveniently forgot to mention that he only did that *after this situation started with his wife and the guy.*
You have *completely fabricated* a narrative just so that you can use inflammatory phrases like "pattern of violence". There was no such thing throughout the decades of their marriage. The handful of incidents which were directed towards *inanimate objects* only happened very recently, ***after*** his wife started showing strong signs of cheating with another guy and ***after*** she disrespected her husband by not cutting off contact with the guy immediately.
I'm glad I took the time out to read the thread though because it shows that either you are a dishonest interlocutor or, as i suspected originally, you have completely misconstrued the situation so your entire opinion is based on a misconception.
Ragtatter: I didn't bring up when the violent behavior started because, again, it *isn't relevant to what needs to happen next*. The salient point is that it was not one "isolated incident." It has built up over time, even if that time period is short. This having been a sudden, fast burn actually makes the situation more dangerous, not less.
You seem to want very, very badly for this to be about blame, and you're so focused on whether I'm blaming the "right" person that you're not hearing what I'm actually saying.
At this stage, *it doesn't matter who's fault it is.* The house is on fire, everyone out.
I'm not saying she's a saint. I'm not saying he's a monster. I am saying that this *relationship* has turned violent and needs to end. Fault is irrelevant. Why it turned violent is irrelevant. It IS violent now and that is what needs to be addressed.
Nobody deserves to be cheated on by their spouse--no matter what the justification is for cheating. Nobody deserves to live in a violent home--no matter what the justification is for the violence. Even if said violence is just aimed at inanimate objects.
We are at the point where one party is either choosing destruction, or is unable to prevent themselves from destroying. The situation has gone from bad to actively dangerous.
Do *you* think they should stay together at this point?
ETA: I believe his remorse about trashing the house is genuine. I'm sure he absolutely regrets it. He probably felt terrible about the smaller preceding incidents as well. Unfortunately, remorse following an incident does not inoculate an individual against acting out again the next time they're upset or feel justified. Regret is generally not predictive of things being safe from now on.
Gilganjun: I'd agree with everything you just said ***IF*** he'd actually been physically violent towards ***her***. But he **never** has. He showed aggression towards inanimate objects a few times in the past few days. Never before throughout decades of marriage.
So you're prognosticating a scenario in your mind which follows the logic that because he punched a wall, it'll inevitably lead to physical violence towards her. That's just a wild guess on your part but you're banking everything on that as being some sort of inescapable outcome. You have misconstrued the situation and preassigned the label of "violent abuser" or "potential violent abuser" to an innocent man. He has **never** been violent to **her**\*.\* He punched a wall and broke some objects. That's it.
*Let me put it another way..* By your logic, anyone who owns a punch bag, and takes their stress out on it after they had an argument with their partner, they're a potential violent abuser and their partner is in grave danger. There a lot of people who have punch bags and pound on them, full force, after a heated argument with their partner. And not even in a scenario where their partner has been caught cheating. Just over some minor disagreement, people will go hit that bag with everything they've got.
An inanimate object is not the same thing as a human being. If someone hits an inanimate object, it doesn't mean they will ever hit their partner. A few loose screws might but the vast majority won't. So it's unfair of you to presume those things about him based on him hitting / breaking a few inanimate objects. You are jumping to wild conclusions which is leading you to misconstrue the situation.
Ragtatter: Two questions:
First, do you honestly not see any difference at all between using a punching bag for its intended purpose, and flying into a blind rage (your words) and destroying your and your spouses belongings?
If the punching bag is just being used to burn off agitated energy in a nondestructive way (just like people will sometimes go for a run after an argument, or do other activities-- I know a dude who vacuums when he's pissed), then no this isn't a red flag. Now, if they're having a meltdown and hacking the bag up with a chainsaw because they're angry, then yeah that's a violent episode and you need to get out of there.
What OP did was not just working off energy-- it was a deliberate, *destructive* act meant to punish or intimidate. The line is an easy one to see. He knowingly did damage. Maybe he felt justified. Maybe he felt she deserved to have her things demolished as punishment. Maybe he wanted to scare the hell out of her. Maybe he just completely lost control. Either way, it's not even in the same time zone as the dude playing with a punching bag.
He was lashing out *at her* by destroying her things. It is not unusual for this type of proxy aggression to escalate from destruction of the spouse's belongings to bodily harm.
It doesn't actually matter how many years of peaceful marriage they had before the violent episodes started, or how recently they started. What matters now is that this relationship now contains violent episodes.
Second question:
Do you think they should stay together?
Gilganjun: That incident happened immediately after he'd discovered she'd lied to him about not being in contact with the guy anymore. What sort of reaction would you expect? He just found out his wife is seeing another man behind his back after promising him that she had stopped.
Probably felt like his life had changed forever in a flash. World felt like it was collapsing in on him, his wife was lying to him about another man. A lot of people would flip out at that point, guys or girls. If there had been a punch bag conveniently to hand, he may well have taken his anger out on that but since there wasn't, some of their belongings served a similar purpose. Big deal. He **never** hit her. Just objects.
Maybe there was an element of purposefully damaging some of her belongings to get back at her but that's a very human reaction too. He wanted to transfer the pain she gave him back to something which belonged to her. Her violence had already damaged their marriage. So the violence originated from her and got transferred to him. Action/reaction. But he **never** hit **her** at his lowest point so it's unreasonable to assume he ever would.
To your second question.. Now that the initial shock has subsided and he's got it out of his system by destroying some inanimate objects (for lack of a conveniently placed punch bag), he should give his wife the opportunity to be truthful and explain why she lied to him about another man. He has the right to know what really happened and how far things went. Chances of them staying together depends to what extent his wife deceived him and how far she went with the other guy. If she slept with him then the relationship is likely unsalvageable. If she didn't, and she's truly sorry for what she did, they could probably give it another go and chalk it down to a bad patch. Marriages have survived much worse than an extramarital kiss.
MendoShinny: Punching holes in walls is a relationship ender. It doesn't matter what led to it.
Get help.
Gilganjun: An oversimplification, generalization, overreaction. Punching walls isn't something uncommon. 100's of people are even hospitalized for punching walls each month. Many more wall punchers won't get injured so aren't counted. If only all those people owned a punch bag, they would have punched that instead. Many punch bag owners have saved themselves a wall-induced hand injury with that wise purchase.
| 20 | 834.2 | |
1660420646 | 1660433015 | t3_wnn65t | t5_2to41 | 673 | PlannedPain: TIFU by proposing to my partner in Mexico
Obligatory, this happened last week and is a continuing saga…
Last week I (M44) took my partner (F44), her daughter (12), and my sons (12, 16) on a vacation to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. I got 2 suites… one for the kids and one next door for the romantic couple. In addition to typical plans of surfing, swimming with dolphins, zip lining, etc., which we’re all amazing… I arranged a very special surprise… a romantic private dinner at sunset on the beach for my partner and I.
Beforehand I talked to my partner’s daughter and told her I wanted to ask her Mommy to be my partner forever and for us to all be a family together. I asked her if that would be alright and she said “I approve.” I also talked to both of my boys and made sure they were fully on-board as well.
Everyone was excited about the plan so I told them they’d be able to see us from the balcony of the hotel room, but that I also wanted them to come join us at 8:00 so they could be there when I would pop the big question.
Dinner was perfect. A private chef served us an amazing bottle of wine followed by a terrific salad and delicious authentic enchiladas with beans and rice. And then our kids came down almost perfectly on time. They’d all taken it upon themselves to shower and do their hair, and had replaced their swimsuits (my partner’s daughter wore an adorable dress and both of my boys donned slacks and polo shirts).
With a picture-perfect sunset over the ocean behind me, I got down on one knee (in retrospect, that’s when I first felt the storm inside beginning to rumble, but let’s ignore it for now, just like I did in the moment). I told my partner that I was madly in love with her, that I loved the family we’d built together, and that I wanted to share a million more adventures together with her. Tears of happiness overflowed as I asked her if she’d be my forever and she said “yes!” We spent time hugging and kissing each other and hugging and chatting with each of our kids as the sun set.
My partner’s daughter asked what she should call me now and we agreed on step-dad (I tried for “the coolest, most awesome guy in the world” but she thought that was too wordy). My 12yo acknowledged our commitment by similarly calling my partner his step-mom. We shared a wonderful dessert with the kids, had one last special group hug, signed la quenta, and began walking back to our room for what I expected would be a night of romance and passion to celebrate an amazing evening and our love for each other. I was soo badly mistaken.
It started out with a little rumbling and feeling flushed. But by the time we’d gotten the kids tucked in I was curled up in a ball on the bed sweating. I went through no less than 7 pair of underwear that night and left a trail of liquid shit from my bed to the toilet that only became truly visible in the light of day. But the worst of it has got to be the smell… I mean, shit never smells like cinnamon and candied apples, but this stuff is a whole new level of liquid evil that would make a dead man retch—all happening right next to the woman who just pledged to spend the rest of her life by my side.
It’s been constant and consistent ever since. Every. Single. Night. I even packed extra underwear for the flight home, just in case I couldn’t get to the lavatory quickly enough. As we returned to my partner’s home in the U.S. I evaluated my condition and decided I was finally in the clear. My partner and I showered away the travel germs, snuggled into her bed together, and drifted off to sleep… for a couple hours… and then my bowels became a Trojan horse of personal betrayal… while I peacefully slept next to the love of my life they exploded, spewing disaster and carnage that ensured complete destruction of all things holy. I had to wake her up to tell her what had happened and watch her face as the disorientation of peaceful dreams was replaced by a horrific reality.
I was rightfully banished to sleep on towels in the basement after that. And I slept at my own home the next night. We’ll see what the future holds, but as of now have yet to consummate our love and new commitment to each other.
TL/DR: I romantically proposed to my partner in Mexico, got a horrible case of diarrhea, and proceeded to shit all over everything.
EDIT: Thank you to everyone for the humor, kind wishes, and suggestions. A couple things to clear up… 1) I’ve lived in Latin America and I’m well acquainted with Montezuma’s revenge, which is extremely prevalent, and which we took precautions for. We don’t drink any unbottled water, including brushing our teeth. We even make our own ice from bottled water. We also stayed at a resort that is supposed to have a solid filtration system and use only ice made from purified water. Still, we take whatever precautions we can and know that it’s possible we’ll catch a spot of this. Thing is, every time I’ve had Montezuma’s revenge, it’s been a 48 hr type of deal that has me vomiting and running a fever in addition to the current symptoms. But they don’t typically go for a week like I’m currently facing. 2) I agree it’s not normal for this to have gone on so long. I’m taking Pepto, Dulcolax, and have Imodium ready and it doesn’t seem to be fixing anything. I want to consult a parasitologist tomorrow. Can anyone tell me how to find a good one? 3) minor edits to the text above to fix grammatical errors and wording.
Either-Cover-6667: Probably Montezuma's revenge......not supposed to drink water there
PlannedPain: Yep. I thought I was ok drinking the wine though
RainbowDarter: Ice cubes surprise a lot of people.
They're usually made locally.
ElHeim: If OP had ice cubes on his wine he deserves all the revenge he's getting.
RainbowDarter: I was more thinking that he probably had an ice cube in another drink or a fresh salad that was washed in the local water.
Or even ~~crushed~~ brushed his teeth with local water. That can be enough exposure.
Edit: autocorrect did it to me again
ElHeim: I know, but this is Reddit :-)
I hope you meant "brushed his teeth" though, otherwise I'm mildly interested in this new extreme activity.
RainbowDarter: Shit. I really hate autocorrect
| 8 | 84.125 | |
1660424481 | 1660425144 | t3_wnoj51 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Uglygurllouisiana: TIFU getting blocked by this woman I was trying to talk to
[removed]
Erynnis_: If this is true, get some help
lecherro: Plus one...
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1660424630 | 1660437064 | t3_wnol67 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Chiakiii1: TIFU by FREEZING my dick (nsfw)
[removed]
Clorizzle-star: It seems like you might be both a terrible person and an idiot.
You don't know what you did wrong having a wife and girlfriend at the same time? Is this post just a joke or are you just awful?
Chiakiii1: It's just one of my buddies stories. He's kind of something. Man typed this out himself and told me to post it. He didn't wanna have reddit.
| 3 | 3 | |
1660425044 | 1660426570 | t3_wnoqkv | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling asleep and forgetting to turn off the garden hose
Well, more like YIFU I guess? But basically, me and my fam have two houses. The second one is currently undergoing huge makeovers so none of us live there, but we do go there, spend the afternoon and do 'small' work like watering the plants, mowing the lawn, setting up mole traps and refilling the pool when it empties itself (there's a leak at the bottom that is yet to be fixed, so water level can halven in four-ish days).
At my mom's request, yesterday at 10 PM I went to the second house because the lawn was drying up and I had to water it, and refill the pool if it was under optimal level. And so I did. Pool was at least 40cm under its optimal level, so I calculated it'd need like 2 hours to fill properly. I threw the hose into the pool after watering the lawn and went inside to rest for a bit and browse stuff on my phone.
Problem is, it was late at night and I had done a lot of physical effort for the day, so I fell asleep in less than 10 minutes. I woke up at 9 AM, walked outside and, to my horror, I had forgotten to turn off the hose. The pool was obviously overflowing a LOT, and the entire garden was FLOODED. Not a good sign, especially when there's currently water restrictions in my country. Water bill is gonna be an absolute nightmare this month.
TLDR I literally flooded my garden.
LexiGrace1998: Oh no!! Sounds awful. Do you have a basement that could flood?
[deleted]: Fortunately not, at least.
LexiGrace1998: Silver lining!
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1660426763 | 1660484319 | t3_wnpcy8 | t5_2to41 | 103 | ElectroSnivy: TIFU by confessing to my best friend
I [21M] met my best friend [21F] during a summer internship, and we hung out a lot. She and I were able to talk about deeper things and I felt like I could open up to her. I came from an abusive family, and I'd never experienced what love was before (romantic or otherwise). I never had anything like a hug or positive affirmation, and was born because my family wanted me to make money and take care of them. I've felt attracted to other girls, but she was the first one to make me feel this desire to be vulnerable and unconditionally kind to another person.
I've spoken with my therapist and understood that I should think carefully about my feelings, since it's easy to become very attached to someone if you're emotionally starved. After some time thinking, I decided that my feelings were from more than that, and I felt this way not just because she was nice to me.
I already had a feeling she didn't like me romantically, but I decided to tell her anyway since I didn't want to have any regrets, so I told her I liked he on the final day. She said she already had someone she liked, and just wants to be friends.
I cried in my room for a few hours before traveling back home. When I was waiting for a train I had a bad experience. My vision felt blurry, my body felt heavy, and and I felt like I was top of a slope heading down to the tracks. I was stumbling forward until someone snapped me out of it by telling me I was going to fall onto the tracks.
Yesterday when I got back home, I slept. Today I woke up and my body felt like a wreck, and I felt extremely depressed. My heart felt like it was going to burst, I was crying and hyperventilating until I passed out. I woke up in a hospital bed, and apparently I had experienced a stress induced heart attack.
I feel like an absolute loser. I'm told by people that I'm smart, and I've been able to do a lot despite having a horrible life for my first 18 years. And yet, something as simple as being rejected by a girl, who was honestly pretty nice about it, was enough to put me in the hospital. I feel like a broken mess of trauma and mental illness, and I can see why she didn't like me back now.
Tldr: Confessed to my best friend who I knew didn't like me back, got rejected, and landed myself in the hospital.
(Also apologies if this isn't the correct place to post this kind of thing, I know it's a bit intense)
Extreme_Sorbet622: It's a physiological need for most people. The difference is that you've never been able to take it for granted. It's not that you're a broken person or whatever. Your body just hit its limit.
You know the concept of hydraulic shock? It may be weird to think about, but water flowing in a pipe has momentum just like any other moving thing. When you suddenly stop it (like when a barrier drops in the pipe), the system can get damaged from the pressure wave that follows.
Right now, you're like a massive reservoir with nowhere to release all the pent-up water inside you. All that water with all the pressure from the water stacked high above it. You weren't given an outlet. When you thought you found one, you tried to use your pipe to your friend. A barrier that you weren't expecting fell into place, and the pressure wave damaged your system.
True, it wouldn't have happened to almost anyone else. But their reservoirs aren't like yours, even if the pipes are all made of the same stuff. Their water level is low, not nearly as much pressure or momentum behind the water flowing through. They had chances to release, you haven't. You give the same system a worse input, you're going to get a worse result. That's just inevitable.
———
I'm not saying this just to make you feel better. Look at my history, I'm not afraid to call out when someone lacks a spine. But that's not what I see here. I'm not going to tell you to buck up or get over it. But you now know the nature of the challenge you're facing, and can come up with strategies with that in mind.
1. See that the reservoir you have is different. You’re operating under different constraints, don’t expect to be able to move like others can with all that water weighing you down.
2. Understand the implications of Point 1. You can’t let out your water the same way others can, at least not yet. You need to find safe outlets and don’t put yourself in a situation where someone’s barrier can cause a system collapse again. Manage your expectations. Recognize things that could trigger a breaking point.
3. Safe outlets. Maybe hugging a blanket/pillow/stuffed animal? Joining a club where you can let out a small amount of water talking about something minor, like an inconvenience you had that day?
Sure, you're in a tough spot. But you now know more about the problem, and can at least partially work around it. If love is what you want, don't abandon it because you don't know the form it'll take or because you think this is some immovable object. I hope things work out for you.
ElectroSnivy: Thank you for the kind words, this makes a lot of sense to me.
Extreme_Sorbet622: Of course.
| 4 | 25.75 | |
1660425649 | 1660429339 | t3_wnoyj7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Lil-Thug: TIFU by being A dumb sleep deprived dickhead
[removed]
Xanthiras: Over thinking it, pretty sure she'll have shaken it off already
Lil-Thug: I do get told I overthink a lot ha, hope your right here. Thx for the comment!
Xanthiras: I can't blame you, I do it myself. But you have to sort it in a way of, 'is this worth stressing over?'. If you're not having to deal with them anytime soon, then drop it, they'll likely forget.
From my experience, most people don't have the memories of elephants.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1660426174 | 1660491692 | t3_wnp5b6 | t5_2to41 | 9 | matthewhockey: TIFU by asking my grandparents why my parents divorced
[removed]
AcrobaticSource3: Your dad is Tim Curry? Cool!
matthewhockey: Had to look up tho that is and was like ohh that’s the dude in home alone
AcrobaticSource3: And very important, Rocky Horror Picture Show
| 4 | 2.25 |
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