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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1660434811 | 1660440364 | t3_wns65b | t5_2to41 | 45 | Dizzy-Sprinkles1465: TIFU by going home for lunch
didn't happen today but in April of this year. I (17F) had been living with my grandparents since January so I could go to cosmetology school. the school was around 15 minuets from the house and we got an hour lunch everyday, so I would occasionally eat at home.
one day I was debating if I should wait out the hour in my car or drive home and eat real quick. I had a gut feeling that I should stay, but i was really bored and hungry so I took the drive.
long story short, he asked to see me naked for 100 bucks, and "all the smokes I want" (he would buy me vapes) I didn't know what to do. I felt so cornered. so I said okay and got TF OUT OF THERE (without doing anything). I kept my composure until I had left the neighborhood and then i lost it. I ended up calling my younger cousin (who he was picking up that day) and told her what happened and that she should NOT get in the car with him.
she broke down and the school got involved, and i was removed from the house. I no longer talk to either of them or anyone from their side of the family because they don't belive me. once I turned 18 a few weeks later my friends took me in but because they live an hour away from the school I had to drop out. the worst part is my dad had to find out what a monster his dad is. I feel so sorry for him. I kind of fucked up the whole family.
TLDR: went home for lunch and my grandpa asked to see me naked, effectively rendering me homeless and getting me kicked out of school
insensitivecow: You didn't fuck up your family, he did. He is a predator. You did nothing wrong.
Dizzy-Sprinkles1465: I can't help but feel like I set things up to go this way. I've always been rebellious and I dragged him into it when he would cover for me when I snuck out or was smoking. from the first time he caught me out at night things had continued to escalate until.. this. if I hadn't let things get so out of control he mightve never had the balls to ask something like that and my life and my family's life would be completely different from now.
insensitivecow: Regardless of how rebellious you are/were, that is absolutely no excuse or invitation for this behavior. He is an adult, and he is supposed to be there to guide you, teach you, and protect you. As for covering for you sneaking out, that was his choice to do that rather than address it or discipline you(appropriately, of course). It is does not justify what he did to you. There is no excuse.
I'm so sorry this happened to you and that you feel it is your fault. Trust me, you did nothing wrong in this situation, and you even protected your cousin from possibly being targeted as well ❤️
| 4 | 11.25 | |
1660440887 | 1660454809 | t3_wnu5z8 | t5_2to41 | 186 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #47! Come share your stories and hang out! Get the popcorn! 🍿
beckydr123: IScoopPoop scooped his own poop?
SpookyKoi: He’s a fed
beckydr123: What?
Leon_Rekkar: 🤣
beckydr123: I didn't get it (r/woosh)
Leon_Rekkar: It's an inside joke
beckydr123: Oh ok
| 8 | 23.25 | |
1660441122 | 1660442594 | t3_wnu8pe | t5_2to41 | 10 | Aquatic_Salamander: TIFU by accidentally getting in a small accident with a biker
So I went to a Mexican restaurant drivethru here and the exit is at a curve and there’s apparently another exit down to the right that I didn’t know about.
I look to the right, no one. Look left and wait for traffic and once it finally clears up, I look right and start going, as I see a guy on a bicycle coming right towards me and I froze up as we collided.
I pulled out and was still in shock and pulled over and he started coming over and yelling, rightfully so. I was super nervous as this has never happened to me before and I never thought it would. He said give me $20 or I’ll go through insurance, and I wanted to do what he asked but didn’t have cash, so I asked if we could pull back somewhere and I can get some. He was very pissed but said follow me and turned back into the parking lot.
That wouldn’t be an issue HOWEVER there are dozens of businesses in there and I lost him by the time I pulled back on the street and did a Uturn. I was scared shitless because I didn’t know what would happen if he thought I ran and called insurance to say that.
I look everywhere and said fuck it and went in Home Depot to get cash and looked again, as I accepted defeat and started heading back, I see a cyclist in the distance coming by, I wave but he didn’t acknowledge me until he passed and he yelled HEY and was mad again, I paid him and he cooled off and left like that. I’m still shaking as I type this lmao
Tl;dr collide with cyclist, he tells me to get $20 for him and I almost lost him completely
NomadChief789: When I saw biker, I though you meant a guy on a Harley. I’ll be damned if a bicyclist holds me up for anything.
Aquatic_Salamander: I was just panicking because I’m new to this area and never had anything like this happen before, could he still call insurance or try anything even after this? I’ve just never been through this so I’m still kinda nervous
NomadChief789: I certainly understand your point of view. No need to defend yourself.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1660441053 | 1660445195 | t3_wnu7vu | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by cheating on a Community College Math Placement Test
[deleted]
theedgeofoblivious: I did not cheat, and my SAT and ACT scores put me into Calculus when I had not taken trigonometry.
Trust me; take trigonometry. Don't make the same mistake I did and try taking the higher class.
You should still be able to register for the lower class, and then they wouldn't have a reason to care if you cheated on the placement test, because the higher score didn't benefit you in any way.
Don't cheat again.
cracked-hutan: never again... this feeling is awful, and I don't know how people live past it
true_suppeee: Organicchemistrytutor has good videos on math. Tbh cal one is not very hard. I may or may not have done something similar to what you did:)
| 4 | 7 | |
1660445302 | 1660489360 | t3_wnvldr | t5_2to41 | 356 | shaq_420: TIFU by telling my wife to STHU
TIFU and told my wife to sthu and i feel kinda bad about it. So my wife has developed this horrible habit of cutting me off when I talk. I don't mean interrupting me to add to what I'm talking about. I mean literally cutting me off mid story to talk about something else completely not related or to start her own story. I keep telling her how its rude and she either denies that she's doing it or blows it off. Today I had long day at work and was already irritable so when I started talking about what I wanted to do for my bday yesterday she just cuts me off . 1st time I let it slide. Continue my story does it again. This time I bring it to her attention and she denies it and tell me I was done talking... 3rd time I finally lose it and yelled "I wish you'd sthu and let me finish talking for once." Literally just came out without me thinking and obviously the mood is ruined for the night. I feel like she was wrong but I do feel my reaction was over the top and I took my long day at work out on her.
TLDR:got tired of my wife interrupting me and told her to sthu so now she won't talk to me and the night is ruined.
Silly-Goose-is-Loose: If it bothers you but actually she doesn’t realize it’s happening when she cuts you off, she may have other things going on - for example, high anxiety or adhd
Talk to her and what’s bothering her. If you can, set it up where you can stop her and confront it when she interrupts - but get her permission in advance so you don’t run into todays situation
shaq_420: Sounds like good advice. Thanks
conservadordegrasas: Get her permission lol
prismbreaker_: Others are downvoting, but I lol’d too. The amount of pussyfooting on Reddit is an embarrassment sometimes.
A spouse is consistently rude and dismissive and all of a sudden the other spouse “needs permission” to address it? Or the spouse who finally had enough of that shit is for no logical reason acting all timid on Reddit for yelling once after having his feelings and ability to speak trampled (over his birthday, no less)? Good god, man, sack up. The limp-wristedness is nauseating.
Silly-Goose-is-Loose: Woah woah, no pussyfooting or limp-wristedness here dude - it sounds like OPs wife is just completely ignoring him and tuning him out when he’s talking and then being an absolute bitch when he calls her on it.
But it also sounds like if he doesn’t talk to her outside of one of these moments and come to an agreement that he’s going to call her on the interrupting then they’re going to remain in this cycle and their marriage won’t work. I.e. permission.
The lady sounds like she has issues, is difficult to deal with and is absolutely self-involved - probably a Narcissist - and the only way to win is to play the game
prismbreaker_: I’m sorry, did you get permission from me first before you went on this spill?
Silly-Goose-is-Loose: Touché
| 8 | 44.5 | |
1660445346 | 1660490551 | t3_wnvlux | t5_2to41 | 80 | throwaway8274357: TIFU by getting touchy with my friends gf
This took place a weekish ago. So I (21m) went to hangout with a few friends. It was me, my two buddy’s (21m & 23m) and one of their gf (24f). After we finished fucking around for the night we went back to one of my friends houses. The two guys went outside for about 20 minutes to do whatever, while me and his gf looked for something to do when they got back. While they were gone me and my buddy’s gf cuddled and that led to fingering. We stopped a minute before they came in and I totally sobered up instantly and just have felt regret since. I’m not the type to even look at my boys gf in any sexual way. Idk how it happened. And before you say it, yes I know we are fucking stupid but we were cross faded and completely fucked up. I know that’s not an excuse, but I just needed to get this off of my chest because it’s eating me alive. I also want to know if I should tell my buddy and just claim that I and his gf fucked up even though I feel like hiding it forever? I disgust myself..I’m sorry bro
TL;DR: Me and my friends got drunk and I ended up fingering my friend’s gf while he was outside. Idk what to do with myself now.
NextEmperor97: No don’t tell your friend. It could fuck up your friendship over a gf that is more than likely temporary. Tell him when they break up lol
slapshots1515: I hope to never have “friends” like you
NextEmperor97: I wouldn’t be in a position like this in the first place lol. But they were obviously not in their right minds and it’s not worth ruining a friendship over
slapshots1515: My man, when your fingers are inside of my girlfriend, it doesn’t matter what mind you’re in. I’ve been blitzed off my mind before and yet somehow I don’t find it hard to avoid that.
NextEmperor97: This is more about himself than his friend, To clear his own conscious. He tells his friends he fingered his girls, potentially ruin his friendship and ruin his friends relationship with his girlfriend. Sweep it under the rug and never bring it up.
slapshots1515: My dude. This is the sort of thing that ruins a relationship or friendship because it should. Again, I have managed to never put anything in one of my friend’s girlfriend’s vagina. It’s a really, really low bar to ask for.
NextEmperor97: So you’re a Kantian
slapshots1515: What would be wrong with that if I were?
NextEmperor97: Kantian ethics are impractical and just stupid in general. Sure telling the truth seems like a the “moral”thing because truth and right have become almost synonymous but in this case the truth will cause a lot more damage for everyone involved. If OP can’t handle the guilt then go ahead and tell the truth, I can’t predict the outcome but this needs to be first discussed by OP and the girl about how they’re going to tackle this incident if at all. In all likelihood they’ll probably agree to never bring it up. She’ll one day dump him for unrelated reasons (or maybe related because she seems quite unloyal) and maybe this situation will be bought up then but for now keeping quite is the logical approach.
NutNougatCream: It is very rare for stuff like this to stay a secret. It is far more damaging for the bf to find this out way later in life. I wouldn't want to stick anything else into that gf after one of my friends put their fingers in her. Better to build another friendship and relationship than to stick in an obvious unloved situation. Just read an article about a 99-year old man divorcing his 96-years old wife after 77 years of marriage after he found out she cheated on him 60 years ago. It's not cool to keep things a secret.
| 11 | 7.272727 | |
1660446957 | 1660447817 | t3_wnw3sz | t5_2to41 | 6 | WhiteFox2098: TIFU by sharing too much much information
This is my first time posting plus this just happened so im still a little shaken so bare with me
So to preface this my gf(16f) and me(16m) work at the same place and met at work.
Now things between me and my girlfriend who we'll call Maddy are kind of weird because she tells everyone we're dating and then when talking 1 on 1 she says she's not ready to date but when asked why she just says she wants to work on herself first. I get that but I don't understand why she doesn't want to tell everyone but that's besides the point.
So yesterday at work Maddy, me, and another coworker who we'll call Jordyn were working together. We a work part time at a theater which is usually dead so we spend most of our time talking and hanging out. I'm reading a book and at some point the convo between Jordyn and Maddy turns to me, I don't know much about what was said but I hear my gf say "I would twerk for you" while she's looking at me Now being 16 and hearing that made me happy but I didn't think much of it. Fast forward to today I was texting a friend who im really close with, who we'll call Amaris, now me and Amaris are pretty close and she also works at the theater with us and we've shared some pretty dark stuff with eachother and I trust her. We share relationship stuff all the time so she knows the story between me and Maddy. So I was talking to her today and remember what Maddy said yesterday and told her about what she said yesterday and how it made me really happy. Amaris thought it was nice that I was gushing over Maddy like that and told her about what I said.
Maddy texts me a few minutes later really angry about how I told Amaris that she said she would twerk for me. She's really angry and goes off on me about hows it's not ok to share stuff like that and how I completely broke her trust. Personally I'm a pretty open person and I didn't think it was that major of a thing before telling Amaris about it. But nonetheless it hurt Maddy and she's really mad at me now. And I'm pretty hurt to cause she said some harsh things over what I thought wasn't a big deal. My heart feel like it got absolutely bashed and I'm scared about what's gonna happen with us.
Anyway sorry for the rant I just need to talk about this somewhere without it affecting my real life
TL;DR I told a close friend about something intimate my gf said, gf found out and is very angry with me.
lecherro: Ok... Your 16. She's 16... There really shouldn't be that much intimate stuff between you. But,just in case this is something that lasts, this is a minor thing. Girls get mad. They get mad at some silly shit, like this. Apologize and let it lie. If this is a huge deal alms you can't laugh at it??? You won't last that long any way. You've both got lots of life ahead.... Don't sweat the petty things.
WhiteFox2098: Yeah I didn't think it was a big deal until she started talking about how I broke her trust now I dont know if I'm in the wrong or not.
I still sont think it's a big thing to share especially since I'm so close with Amaris. I'm going to try and smooth it over tomorrow
| 3 | 2 | |
1660450146 | 1660452274 | t3_wnx2zi | t5_2to41 | 22 | Blueroses_2000: TIFU by messaging a friend at night
More like 2 nights ago I messaged one of my older friends while drunk. We have a strange relationship, as he uses me to complete school work and other things which feel out of bounds of a “normal” friendship. Anyways, I was wasted and decided to confront him about using me for school work.
It didn’t end well, I ended up crying and making a fool of myself. I basically was a a-hole about how I went about it and he didn’t respond well. I was also very emotional, as I have other things going on in my life that were upsetting me, and I kinda took it out on him. For example, calling him a dick and a user, instead of explain my side of the situation.
*Side note* I am very emotional in these situations as I have been manipulated by someone else before. That also didn’t end well, and I feel like I’m just repeating my old habits/mistakes.
Fast forward to today, I regret how I did things but I meant what I said. I don’t want to ruin our friendship anymore than I already have, but I would like to bring up the conversation again. I don’t know how well it’s gonna go this time, hopefully better than last time.
TL/DR: I message a friend while drunk. Said some stuff I meant about him abusing our friendship, but did it in a horrible way. I feel like shit, but meant what I said.
quequotion: End this "friendship" now. Today, right now.
Take control of your life. Be that asshole you think you need to be to protect yourself: pro tip, it's not being an asshole at all, this is how *everyone else* is; only abusive, manipulative, *actual assholes* will pretend to be offended. When they come crawling back, step on them.
Blueroses_2000: I will try. I just finished mending the fences with my friend and will probably wait a little to try and get him out of my life.
quequotion: The longer you wait, the harder it will be.
You want to end it on good terms, fine, end it now.
There's not going to be a "good" time.
This person is not your friend. People like this are not friends to you.
Blueroses_2000: It’s not even that I want to end on good terms. I just need a mental break and when I’m actually ready I’ll do it.
| 5 | 4.4 | |
1660452717 | 1660454889 | t3_wnxua4 | t5_2to41 | 7 | alleymind: TIFU by accidentally saying something racist
I was out with my mom and a few of her friends at like an all ages get together. We all know each other fairly well. These are my moms friends, so she’s close with them, I just tagged along this one time. I know everyone, but I’m a lot younger than them. I’m 23F, everyone has teenager kids, so you get the idea. Anyways, I just got a new tv and needed someone to hang it. One of my mom’s friends volunteered her husband (their daughter and I are friends) to help hang my tv for me. It was very generous, and my mom goes “she’ll buy you a burrito” dude likes burritos, and I, just wanting to show my appreciation was like, “yeah, I’ll get you a horchata, chips too”. I meant it like okay typical meal that comes with a burrito. But of course, the man is Hispanic, and after saying it I was absolutely mortified. No one said anything to me like they were upset, but I felt so terrible, and can’t stop thinking about it.
I’m absolutely mortified, I called my mom like on the verge of tears and she just couldn’t stop laughing. So yeah.
TL;DR offered to buy a guy a horchata with his burrito as a thank you for hanging up my new tv.
Foojangles: It he wasn’t offended by burrito then why would he be offended by horchata?
alleymind: He very well could’ve been offended by both tbh
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1660454663 | 1660494917 | t3_wnyebe | t5_2to41 | 25 | analgesic1986: TIFU: by going to rapids right after my wedding ceremony
TIFU by going to some rapids right after my wedding
So today I got married to the love of my life- had a great ceremony with tons of friends and family and rings where exchanged.
A hour after the ceremony my friends wanted us to go down this rapids on tubes. I spoke to the wife and she wanted to see the water so she was down to go so we went!
We get to this rapids and I go down with a tube.. thought I was going to die. I fell off the tube right at the start so I hung onto that for dear life. I get stuck in a spot where the water seems to be sucking me down so I just hold on the tube and eventually I’m released and get to shore.
I go to my new wife to make sure she was watching me Cus well I’m pretty fucking awesome annnnndddd I lost my wedding band in the water.
I was married at 430 and the band was lost at like 8ish
Also I’m half cut right now so don’t bother correcting my grammar it’s my wedding day ok
TLDR: got married, went to rapids right after and lost my wedding ring in under 5 hours
shakaspeare: Legit reread this wondering when you mentioned the weddings musical band….then realised you lost you wedding ring, not a bunch of musicians.
HmmWhatNameToPick: Imagine the aftermath. The survivors grieving the loss of their bassist. The drummer rocking back and forth. Lead singer making it all about him, as usual.
analgesic1986: Woulda be a sight
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1660461672 | 1660513827 | t3_wo0aue | t5_2to41 | 651 | [deleted]: tifu by always having to be perfect
[deleted]
ChiSandTwitch: So, first thing first, use a swear word. Just spell it out online and don't be afraid to say it. It's just a fucking word after all.
Secondly, relax for a second. You don't have to do the job you've got lined up, from the sounds of things you're pretty damned smart, so you can do whatever you want to do. What is it that you really want?
Thirdly, you're your own human. Stop worrying so much about what everyone else thinks or wants, it should be up to you. You're old enough to make your own decisions, smart enough too. So use that brain of yours to do something for _you_.
Fourthly, go let your hair down. Have a drink, go to a party or a bar, take a trip just for you, do something that scares you. Doesn't matter, just break your routine.
Fifthly, and this is the big one - don't worry. It's all going to be ok.
UncommonHouseSpider: I would add that we all feel the same existential dread in some way. Learning how to cope with it is part of becoming an adult.
ChiSandTwitch: Agreed
| 4 | 162.75 | |
1660463191 | 1660631179 | t3_wo0p06 | t5_2to41 | 21,060 | Nutsinyamum: TIFU by confronting my girlfriend about cheating on me
[removed]
hidden-in-plainsight: My ex cheated with 7, I caught her with 1.
Feel fortunate that you didn't marry this girl and THEN find out. Or had a kid with her and then found out.
Many scenarios where this could've been worse my friend.
Me ex stabbed me instead of wrecking my car. Choked me and tried to blind me. And thats not even touching on the emotional or sexual abuse.
I'm glad you are out of that horrible situation. At least you can fix your car!
Plenty of fish in the sea my friend. Just be upfront about expectations in your next relationship, communicate, which is the key to success by the way, and im sure you'll find true happiness.
Nutsinyamum: Forget about me bro, are you good?
Bike_Chain_96: I'm with OP on this; you good homie?!
Nutsinyamum: That’s what the fuck I’m saying, praying for my boy
ResortFar6638: Same here, JFC she stabbed and tried to blind him?! That’s horrifying
P12oooF: Dude would have gone to jail for this. Doubt she even got in trouble...
hidden-in-plainsight: Of course she didn't get in trouble. I didn't dare try to call the cops, she was a master gaslighter and would've had the cops wrapped around her finger just like she had me at the time.
keenox90: Big mistake that you didn't go to the police. Maybe it's not late if you still have proof. Don't let her get away with this.
DryWeekends: According to many civil cases in Reddit from fellow reditors going to court against your ex lands you with prison time or a hefty fine against you, because women can't harm their male counterpart in any way. According to American judges from Reddit Story's.
keenox90: It's on the internet so it must be true. Stop discouraging people to seek help and justice. Maybe he isn't even from US.
P12oooF: You act like men don't legit get laughed at or called gay when they are assualted and/or graped. Stop pretending its some myth on the internet. Tf is wrong with you. And you think its worse in the US?
keenox90: Stop putting words in my mouth. I did not say that. I said men in these situations should go to authorities.
Regarding US, please read what comment I am replying to and (again) try to understand what you are reading and stop putting words in my mouth.
| 13 | 1,620 | |
1660453284 | 1660469107 | t3_wny0au | t5_2to41 | 142 | Theo1290: TIFU by not knowing the difference between hdmi and dp cable
I've had a prebuilt pc now for 4-6 years, when I first got it I knew jack and just put whatever cables were given into whatever ports they fit and figured out how to turn it on. Had both the hdmi and dp cable plugged in until some months ago, when I realised I should just take out the hdmi and leave the dp in.
Today, I realised that I don't need to buy a 120+ hz monitor, I already have one. I went to the display settings to try and figure out what monitor I have, and saw the option to change from 60 hz to 144 hz. I was very confused as I knew I'd checked it multiple times before and thought I had lost my mind, until I realised I couldn't change the refresh rate because the hdmi cable was plugged in all this time.
TLDR: Had hdmi and dp cable both plugged in for years, couldn't change monitor refresh rate from 60+. On the plus side I no longer need to buy a new monitor.
xXTheBigBearXx: Unless you had both the HDMI and DP connected to the same monitor, simply having an HDMI plugged in shouldn't prevent you having 144hz out over DP
Theo1290: I did have both connected, but I assumed the hdmi was the issue from having disconnected it and a quick google search.
xXTheBigBearXx: The worst part is, HDMI can do 144hz, but you have to have the correct version of HDMI, in both your gpu and the cable, and it's not very easy to tell if what you have is compatible
| 4 | 35.5 | |
1660469097 | 1660487450 | t3_wo282z | t5_2to41 | 11 | Kakashi4life1: TIFU by not keeping it in my pants
Okay so I’m 15M and I’m pretty horny but a virgin so not sexually active and I never did anything before, I went to a party for my 80 year old step grandpa, and some of my family friends/cousins were there, and I was chilling with my family friend 17F and we were talking and she suggested a sleepover since she was going back to new York in 3 days and I wouldn’t see her again, we sorted it out with my mom and my grandpa because she was staying at my step grandpa and grandmas, so me and her were assigned a room and she got the top bunk and I got the bottom, and we played super smash bros with her brother n law and then played never have I ever and things got spicy
I had smacked her boob on accident and she had said to me if I wanted to touch it I could, now my first thought was BOOBIES??? I can finally touch them??? Oh fuck yeah I like boobies let’s touch em, I touched em, needless to say, boobies, and I liked it and it was my first time doing that, now later things got more spicy and she had asked if we wanted to try watching porn together when everyone was asleep and I said sure because well more boobies and possibly head and what horny motherfucker doesn’t want that, and I asked if it was okay if I touched her elsewhere besides da boobies and she said yes so I touched her pussy and it was wet and I was like BROOOO THIS SHIT FEEL TIGHT ONG ONG, and we had talked and said we were okay with mutual masturbating later, which is a cha Ching for me
So later nobody is sleeping but we’re in a part of the house where we are chillin and no one will see so she climbs down and I start fingering her and she starts giving me head and now at first it was really amazing but then she used to much teeth and I’m like okay lil pirahana so it was cold and she doesn’t know what she’s doing either, so we did that for a bit but I got nervous and sent her back up only for her grandma to finally fall asleep an hour later finally
So she comes back down and we try again and I eat her out and it tastes like metal instantly, so I’m tryna find a position to get comfortable while I eat it but the taste was not what I expected and it really threw me off, and she’s giving me head and it’s not what I was expecting and I was also very tired so it was hard to get hard because it’s like 2am so there was that and we just go back to mutual masturbation for a bit and it was okay but I couldn’t cum because I was so tired and it was so embarrassing Becuz she kept stroking and I just sat there chillin so eventually she just said she was tired and left to bed she said it was fun tho but I feel like I made it a bad first experience and that it was awkward for both of us and it wasn’t what either of us expected
TL;DR I couldn’t keep it in my pants and now I think I made shit awkward and ruined our friendship
memestar20: I will say, everything that happened is normal.
except for the fact that a 17 year old was touching a 15 year old. This is not okay
TechnocraticWardance: Why not? A two year age gap isn't an uncommon thing i teenage dating/sexlife.
memestar20: just because it’s not uncommon does not make it okay. It is not okay
TechnocraticWardance: It's actually the optimal outcome. They are within the same age group, so it's completely acceptable.
If it was a 30 year old and a 17 year old, there'd be a problem. A two year gap is not, by any means.
JimmiRustle: Technically speaking if she was 18 and he was 16 she’d be in a ton of trouble but 15 and 17 is gucci according to the law (in the US afaik).
I don’t really see what the issue is with a 2 year difference. I’ve had an, admittedly short, relationship with a 12 year age gap and we both had fun. No harm no foul.
SteakMenu: Most places have a Romeo Juliet law that covers a 4 year gap with restrictions like over the age of 16 or something along those lines because some people start dating in highschool and are in different grades and it's one thing I feel the govt in USA has done right
TechnocraticWardance: At the end of the day, trying to stop teenagers from fooling around is close to impossible. Which is the main reason for a Romeo Juliet law.
The system would otherwise be flooded with charges for teens, because of basic instinctual behavior and raging hormones.
| 8 | 1.375 | |
1660469781 | 1660500296 | t3_wo2edn | t5_2to41 | 340 | Low_Salt4124: TIFU by asking my girlfriend what's wrong
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armyfreak42: Things will never be the same, relationships change over time just as people change over time. The fact is you are having problems, because you felt you needed to lay down an ultimatum because your needs aren't being met and I suspect she is in a similar position. So unless you two can be open and honest about that just move on because the relationship is only going to deteriorate as one or both of you become resentful.
Low_Salt4124: We have had open and honest and really difficult conversations over the past week, it's been almost every day. I know exactly how she is feeling and she knows how I am feeling. But this feeling if the relationship is not going away. What should we do next?
armyfreak42: Feelings are important, but if neither of you are feeling good in the relationshipthen there is an underlying reason. If you can't identify it, you can't work to fix it. If you can't fix the problem then don't cling to a dying relationship, get out while you're both on relatively good terms. You can still be friends, or maybe even give the relationship another shot later down the road. But staying unhappy will just lead to worsening outcomes.
Low_Salt4124: Is there another way we could use to identify the problem?
armyfreak42: Couples counseling
Low_Salt4124: That's quite expensive, thank you for your advice
L4anK: Relationships are difficult. Working together to solve the issue is always important. If you're both actively working to fix things then that is progress. Just like life, relationships aren't a straight line up. This sounds like it may be one of the first major slumps, making it feel like there's no more progress and questioning whether it will keep going down. The fact that you came on here to ask what you should do means that some part of you wants to salvage the relationship.
Now do remember, it is a two way street. She must be willing to talk and identify what's causing this distance and it sounds like she is. It's good that you guys have been talking. Just don't expect things to be fixed immediately. It's a work in progress. You're both growing and learning together.
I do think that you should rethink the ultimatum. Giving her conditions to stay with you is pushing constant pressure on her to be what you want, making her worry about her every decision instead of just being comfortable being around you. It doesn't mean you can't voice your concern over things that were bothering you, but one year in you should expect to be accepting of each other's flaws while also be willing to compromise for each other. You can't force someone to change, they have to be willing to. If I had to guess based on the information I have, I'd say that's ultimately what's creating that distance. There's a barrier there that doesn't allow her or maybe you or both to be your true selves around one another without judgement.
As for tools to use for identifiers, I can't give you a straightforward answer. Nothing practical at least. All I can offer is guidance to understand what is happening as I laid above.
All in all, keep talking, and most importantly, keep listening. Work together through the good and especially the bad.
| 8 | 42.5 | |
1660470497 | 1660477225 | t3_wo2ktz | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to an escort and entering the wrong apartment.
[deleted]
Ace_Quarter: I'm surprised how well the other guy handled it. If some random guy came into my house I'd be really fecking confused.
WestEndLifer: Probably not the first time its happened.
| 3 | 10 | |
1660472134 | 1660501990 | t3_wo30ig | t5_2to41 | 51 | white_butterfly1: TIFU by ignoring my stomach cramps I've had on and off for over a decade.
TLDR: Turns out I have crohn's, whoops.
For about 13 years now I've had issues randomly with severe stomach cramps that cause me to not be able to move while they happen. I don't really remember them being set off by anything in particular but when they happen they fucking suck. Last Sunday they were getting to the point where I couldn't get off the floor when they happened and I was going dizzy and lightheaded from the pain. After 2 days my SO forced me to to the hospital to get it checked out as we thought I had appendicitis, following a series of checks by a few doctors we pretty much confirmed it was and I just had to get a scan before the op to see how bad it was. Fast forward to after the scan results come through and I'm told that I won't be going to surgery but instead will be going to visit the gastroenterology team in the morning (this was about 11pm...). The next day after a BUNCH of blood tests had been checked and the gastro team had looked over my scan and abused my stomach it turns out my small intestines are inflamed and swollen (hence why they thought it was appendicitis because of the location), they start asking me a bunch of questions about family history of stomach disorders, how often I get diarrhoea, do I have issues with certain foods, how much dairy I eat etc. After a good half hour discussion my doctor asks if I have ever heard of Crohn's disease and goes on to explain that all of the underlying issues I have such as being quick to fatigue, difficulties gaining weight, cramps, instant reactions to certain foods all lined up perfectly to be diagnosed with it.
We're waiting on 1 more result but they've said the reality is they can confirm my diagnosis without it and now I'm stuck with it. The worst part for me is that my favourite foods are spicy foods and now I'm not allowed to eat them.
atocide: I read the first sentence and wonder why anything other than seeing a doctor existed after.
white_butterfly1: They don't happen that often. Plus, being a young guy I always thought I was invincible.
| 3 | 17 | |
1660473593 | 1660508116 | t3_wo3e7u | t5_2to41 | 7 | Environmental-Age842: TIFU by getting a dui
Pretty much exactly as the title says.
Not here for sympathy, or anything else. Just Wanna get it out of my chest before I tell my parents.
They day started out like any other Saturday weekend. I ate breakfast around 10am. Suddenly before noon my mom lets me know one of my really close grand uncle passed away from medical complications.
I never meet said granduncle but I'm really close to my granduncle children and brother. My uncles for lack of clarification.
So I'm devastated for my uncle's pain. I processed to join them in mourning for most of the day. Untill I go out to distract my self. I processed to get home late at night. I get stop for speeding resulting in a DUI arrests.
It's incredible the amount of self awareness I have of how much I fucked up
TL;DR : I got my first DUI
ASHNTEL: First DUI !?!?!!! No sympathy for anyone who gets behind the wheel of any vehicle after drinking,have seen the impact first hand of the aftermath of a drunken driver. There should be a zero alcohol level when driving,and you were speeding,even worse. Hope you get shafted in court, a harsh lesson but justified
respectfulpanda: Shafted? Nah, I just hope the law treats them the way the law should.
I don't believe in mitigating circumstances in a case of DUI.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1660472879 | 1660499014 | t3_wo37ej | t5_2to41 | 7,146 | blue_wittgenstein: TIFU by being naked in nature
This happened less than 24 hours ago.
Yesterday was a warm summer day. A friend and I (28 F) went to a nearby canyon. After some time in my hammock, I felt like exploring the area and enjoying the sun, so I started walking upstream. I passed by some people, greeted everyone and found a sunny spot with just a few people around.
I noticed some people across the river were naked (not too uncommon in this part of the Alps), so I thought... why not do the same? I had swum naked in this river before. That's where the TIFU started.
After doing some yoga and stretching, I noticed an interesting rock formation. The climber in me thought it would be fun to climb it solo (without equipment) while naked. I also thought my boyfriend would kill me if I did because of the risk of climbing solo without supervision and the possibility of getting scrapes EVERYWHERE. So I was there, assessing the rock, when a girl I had seen with her boyfriend downstream ran up to me.
"Would you step down and talk to me for a minute?", she asked, as she courteously helped me down.
I was caught by surprise and only had two hypotheses:
A - She is thrilled to have found another girl who feels comfortable being naked around people.
B - She and her boyfriend saw in me the perfect opportunity for a threesome.
Either way, I felt very flattered and at ease. "Let's see what this stranger wants from me!"
"You're so beautiful!" She took her jacket off -- mmmm! -- but then offered it for me to sit on. It felt like the most surreal round of speed friending in my life... and I played along. We had some small talk, nothing unusual, then she looked at me and asked: "Is it possible that you had some shrooms?" Still not fully getting what was going on, I said no, which she first didn't believe, and proceeded with the conversation. I admitted the thought that this would be a beautiful yet dangerous place to do acid did occur to me, but I was sober af. Then she stood up and her boyfriend appeared.
"She's sober!", she told him with great relief.
Only then it downed on me. Trying to play down my embarrassment, I said: "I just like being naked. This is who I am *sober*." I think they were almost as embarrassed as me.
I thanked them for being so caring and willing to help. They left as quickly as they appeared.
TL;DR: Naked girl contemplates climbing a rock solo and almost gives innocent onlookers a heart attack for acting like she is on shrooms.
latnGemin616: Talk about subverted expectations:
* Nude in nature = good
* Nude rock climbing = not good, _and where I thought thisTIFU was headed_
* Nude talking to complete strangers doing a QOL (_quality of life_) check = _pleasantly surprised_ by the ending and how non-chalant OP was being nude around others with no trepidation or shyness
Catnip4Pedos: What you didn't realise is had she answered "yes I'm on shrooms" the girl would have shouted her boyfriend "quick, we've found one, grab the sack" and we never would have heard the story of the missing Alps girl.
Edit: lol I can't reply to anyone in this thread because the person above blocked me for no actual reason. Abusing reddit block function.
blue_wittgenstein: Not true. She showed legitimate concern about my safety. It's sad this would have been a plausible ending in some countries.
RadioactiveTF2: In some country’s? Do you live in a magical place where no kidnappings ever occur?
Berloxx: Oh you know what she meant.
RadioactiveTF2: I do. But it seems to me like shes implying that it couldnt/wouldnt happen where she lives which is pretty small minded if you ask me.
blue_wittgenstein: In broad daylight with people around?
In my country, we know that kidnappers come in white vans ;)
RadioactiveTF2: Yes, in broad daylight. Not something to be overly wary of but if you’re going to be hanging out alone and naked you should atleast be aware of the possibility. There are predators out there, and they dont all have a free candy sign.
blue_wittgenstein: I appreciate the concern.
| 10 | 714.6 | |
1660477168 | 1660550656 | t3_wo4dhf | t5_2to41 | 225 | relatableslime: TIFU By Coughing At Work
So I started a new job and was very excited. im M (28) and I work as a janitor. the day started off as usual as always I come in and start to clean. I get up pretty early so its kinda hard to get ready in the mornings. Anyways I was at work talking to a coworker when I had the sudden urge to cough. I didnt realize what was to come. after the cough I finished the conversation and went to walk away when I started to feel a warm soft substance running down my leg.... Yes I POOPED MYSELF. what makes it worse is im in front of my new coworker trying not show what just happened I then run to the bathroom and to my luck there was no toilet paper so I had to improvise. I grabbed my underwear and tried to clean my self up when I realized "how am I gonna get out of here? I then just booked it to my supervisors office when I then explained what happened and I can tell he was trying to hold back the laughter. he told me to go home get cleaned up and come back. at this point I dont know if I should go back...
TL : DR coughed and pooped at work
No_Host_2021: I am constantly amazed at how many men poop themselves. Do we need to raise a health concern?!
Like 1 in 10 women has Endo, 1 in 10 men poop themselves?!
Honestly though, go back and don’t worry. Apparently it’s a thing. Maybe think about what you ate the 48 hours though and see if there’s a trigger?!
nooneinteresting-1: Don't forget poop knife while you at it
No_Host_2021: Oh yes!!! I had forgotten that, thank you for the reminder!
| 4 | 56.25 | |
1660477560 | 1660481839 | t3_wo4hcx | t5_2to41 | 17 | hampster_cum_stain: tifu by taking a break
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arlondiluthel: Seriously: look into the labor laws in your area. Many of them **require** a certain amount of time off per shift, depending on shift length (I remember when I worked in fast food I'd get scolded if I didn't take my 15-min break in either the 3rd or 4th hour of the shift).
hampster_cum_stain: So technically as a sub contractor labor laws don't pertain to my work.
arlondiluthel: That's fucked.
hampster_cum_stain: Yeah the other company is pretty ok. But yeah I'm losing money and not getting breaks I'm just done. I've got 2grand worth of tools and a forklift certification so I can literally make the same or more and have a better work environment.
arlondiluthel: Shit, you could probably start your own business doing smaller-scale work on *your* schedule and do better with your own complement of tools and a forklift cert.
hampster_cum_stain: I live in a lake town in Oklahoma, I've been thinking about doing some handyman work but it's just getting the funds, for a better work vehicle, some better equipment. I've actually been waiting on a settlement from my accident. And I'm only 19 so it's hard to get a lot of jobs because people think ' younger guy probably inexperienced"
arlondiluthel: > younger guy probably inexperienced"
Ah, yes... The classic ageism conundrum.
hampster_cum_stain: Yeah it's a shit show sometimes.
arlondiluthel: I have the opposite problem: I still feel like a "newbie" in my field despite having 14 yrs of experience LOL.
hampster_cum_stain: That's shitty I've had issues with new guys who are older using seniority and shit until they realize that I can do the job better than most of our guys. I've just got off the phone with my boss and he said the super apologize and is paying me for the full night.
arlondiluthel: That's wonderful! Glad things worked out
| 12 | 1.416667 | |
1660479016 | 1660669363 | t3_wo4x05 | t5_2to41 | 48 | throwaw3344555: TIFU by being a drunk lunatic
My life was great until last night. I still live with my parents, we got along good. Just started dating the girl i have had a crush on for several years. Now it's all in hot pieces.
Last night was nothing special, my parents were out of town, my girl was already in bed since she had work in the morning, so i decided to meet my friends and drink a few beers. Nothing unusual, but at some point me and my best friend decided to get as fucked up as possible. So we took his dads 50% percent liquor and finished the whole bottle. After that i decided to go home, and that should have been it.
But for some reason unclear to me, my drunk ass thought it would be a great idea to visit a hooker my friends told me about. I kind of have been curious to pay for sex and experience that whole hooker thing before, but 1) it still disgusted me a bit (at least sober) and 2) i really can't afford it. Didn't matter for my drunk self though. So i took all the money i had at home, got in my car and drove half an hour to get there.
As i got there i had a good time tbh, she was a nice lady that made me feel special and attractive and wanted. But as you know that's her job and since she was good at it, i ended up paying way too much. She teased me with little things and kept asking for more money every other minute, and since there was an atm next door i spent a month worth of my income in total for that whore.
But fucked up as i was, i didnt care for that at all, which makes me hate myself now. Of course, after she sent me off i got back in my car and drove myself home.
I was really out of my mind, so it amazes me how my (new) car didn't get a single scratch, but still i'm so pissed at myself, i could have easily killed someone or at least get pulled over and lost my license.
But the part where i completely screwed myself follows. This morning i woke up full of regrets and hatred for myself, scrolling through my phone to think about something else, only to discover that i appearently snapped my gf a pic of the hookers naked ass in the middle of the night. Understandible, she refuses to talk to me since she saw this, and i don't know how to carry on with my life now...
TL;DR: i got drunk, drunk drove for half an hour to waste a lot of money on a hooker, and snitched on myself to my gf via snapchat
Zestyclose-Drama-385: So if she's a "whore" what does that make you?
Frankly_Frank_: A customer?
Zestyclose-Drama-385: Or a whore fucker??? He's no shining example of morality either so maybe he's also a whore? Shall I go on?
Frankly_Frank_: Well no he isn’t a whore because he ain’t selling sex he’s just buying the service. Weather he’s right or wrong the lady is a whore/prostitute he may be a whore fucker but that’s not the same as being a whore.
Zestyclose-Drama-385: A whore isn't just a prostitute....it's a two part definition according to Merriam-Webster...he fits the second part perfectly. Either welay she was desirable to him until he blew his load and realized all his money was gone. So I guess there is one difference, she's a smart whore.
| 6 | 8 | |
1660481764 | 1660589459 | t3_wo5rjo | t5_2to41 | 5 | remos14: TIFU: by smoking on company time
To add a little pretext -I work in a company where You're not allowed to smoke weed neither on company time or on your free time(legal in my country), you eve sign a document stating if you get caught smoking it could lead to jail time. Before I got this job I've been smoking weed pretty regularly and have had a hard time quitting ever since I got this job.
My boss is one of the best bosses I've ever had the good fortune of working with and we're very good friends. A few months ago he found out I was smoking weed during my free time, and being the awesome boss that he is he decided to let it slide as long as it doesn't interfere with our work and I don't do it on company time. As I've said I've had a hard time quitting and lately I've been getting high while on the clock but so far it hasn't led to any performance drops on my part. Here's where the fuck up happened: yesterday my boss called me to his office and told me that he knew about me getting high on the clock and told me he's furious with me for betraying his trust like that and that he can't trust a word that comes out of my mouth right now. I don't think he will report me but I'm devastated that I led to this breakage in our relationship and I don't know how to earn his trust back.
I know it's completely my fault but still I want so bad to fix the situation I even told him I'm quitting right now and will go to rehab but he still says it doesn't matter anymore and theres now way he'll ever trust me again.
Tl; Dr
Smoked on company time and my boss found out and now he can't trust me or anything I say.
SupportNegative5645: How could smoking lead to jail time if it's legal in the country?
Nemair: Depending on his work he might be endangering people if he's not focused. That could be cause for jailtime despite the act of smokingbis legal.
zedsdead79: This. Even though it's legal in Canada, and usually drug testing except for certain jobs is illegal....there are jobs (think public safety, pilots, etc.) where it's essentially forbidden all of the time (unless, for the police I think? if you were on like a 2 month vacation).
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1660484250 | 1660486645 | t3_wo6lop | t5_2to41 | 78 | Vadr13: TIFU by letting my hormones get the best of me.
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Money-Target-4983: Man Im 20 and still got mine.
ShakeAffectionate: 21 turning 22 soon and still got mine. From what I’ve heard, it’s best to wait, truly.
Money-Target-4983: Idk. I feel like an empty shell at this point. I just dgaf. I regret that I didnt make it sooner thats it but it Hurts sometimes.
ShakeAffectionate: Well I mean as someone in the comments here said to OP, you’re putting it on a pedestal. It’s best to wait to have it with someone you care and love.
| 5 | 15.6 | |
1660484380 | 1661308682 | t3_wo6n9g | t5_2to41 | 14,560 | JumpKicker: TIFU by using scented lotion to masturbate
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but started many many moons ago, but is something I still deal with today.
When I was a young curious lad in high school I figured one day I ought to check out what all this fuss with Internet porn was about. I remember watching it a few times before actually deciding to masturbate for the first time. Cool kids call this "edging" today; I guess I truly was ahead of my time.
On to the FU, I had no idea what I was doing, and I remember always hearing jokes about masturbating having something to do with tissues and lotion. Aha! Lotion! My family has always had a massive stash of that stuff because my mom practically lived at places like Bath and Body Works. Thus began the great lotion heist: I found my parents stash, grabbed the first one in the cupboard and hid in my room. I felt a little like Gollum from LOTR, I had found my precious and I knew we were going to have great times together. Oh boy, we did. I used up the entire bottle, lathering my member up every time I did my shame dance.
Now, if you know anything about the kinds of lotion you get from a place like Bath and Body Works, you know they have a very strong scent. You may also know that scent is a powerful marker when making memories.
So as I began my pubescent adventures of smacking around my flesh obelisk, I was enveloping myself with an extremely powerful aroma of... cucumber. The FU here is I inadvertently conditioned myself to get horny whenever I smell that very particular cucumber smell. Because I smelled it so much when I was horny and playing hide and seek with my wang, now whenever I smell that cucumber scent I get horny. It's a two way street baby.
It's a fresh smell, I get why they put it in a lotion. Luckily for me, it abides by what I dub the "banana runt" phenomenon. There is a very consistent way faux flavors taste or smell that is very different from their real-life counterparts, yet completely undeniable. Banana runts are very recognizable but don't taste anything like a real banana. Cucumber lotion doesn't smell like cucumbers to me. It means I'm not biting my lower in the produce aisle, but I'm also not making new scent memories to associate with the scent either.
It was really awkward in high school for a while because it was obviously a lotion scent my mom used, but since I've been an adult out on my own it's become a useful tool. If my wife puts on cucumber-scented lotion, it's game time.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
TL;DR - used scented lotion to masturbate for years when in first started, now that scent makes me instantly horny when I smell it into my 30's
DirtyKateDPP: So what you're saying is you get horny cause your wife smells like your mom?
JumpKicker: Big oof.
tikeu10: Freud want to know your location
digitaldigdug: Freud would say he chose the cucumber scent because its a large phallic shape and therefore a masculine power symbol. This of course would feed right into the Oedepius complex.
peanutbutterwife: Wasn't Freud also hopped up on coke, like, all the time?
Rational-Being-9253: Not just any coke, laboratory-grade pure cocaine. Straight to the nose. You should check out the book *The Freudian Fallacy* by E. M. Thornton; she explains how almost all of his later, nonsensical theories are most likely derived from manic drug highs.
peanutbutterwife: I wish you were joking, but I know that you're not. How did so much stock get put into Freudian theory? Like I'm genuinely curious how we keep coming back to him when he was out of his mind bonkers high on coke? I'm genuinely going through some cognitive dissonance.
Rational-Being-9253: The book explains it better than I do, but the short answer is most of it is somewhat grounded in truth, he had previously established himself as a credible scientist, he was able to weaponise a narrative of himself as a new scientist of the younger generation being oppressed by the old conservative prudes in charge of psychology, and he was an exceptional writer, especially while inebriated. Everything fell into place at the right time, and we’re still stuck with so many of his misconceptions today.
peanutbutterwife: Thank you. I will definitively read the book. My psych 101 lessons of yesteryear only focuses on teaching the mode of thought, not how he got there. That should tell you how long ago my freshmen college courses were...
| 10 | 1,456 | |
1660487895 | 1660498779 | t3_wo7vxs | t5_2to41 | 148 | WeirdChubbyGinger: TIFU by leaving a sex toy out
So this wasn't today, it was two days ago but I've only just properly recovered.
So I was invited out for drinks with a load of work friends, at first I wasn't going to go as I had finished work late and was tired but thought why not and headed out into town.
Lots of drinks went down and we were all having a good time, until we heard those dreaded words "last orders". We decided the night was still young and just because the bar was closing it doesn't mean we have to finish drinking so I suggested to continue the drinks back at my house.
We all get back and the drinks are flowing, we're all having fun. Two of the girls go to the toilet, and about 30 seconds later call me into the toilet. Very confused I walked in and one said "might want to hide that" and pointed at the sink. And there it was... My fleshlight sat in the sink. I completely forgot that I left it in the bathroom once I had cleaned it and oh my days was it awkward.
They played it cool and said fair play, I respect that etc but it was still embarrassing. I popped it behind me and snuck it to my room.
Thankfully no one has mentioned it since... Yet...
I'll definitely be checking the bathroom next time I go out for drinks.
TL;DR went out on a night out and invited all my work buddies back for drinks, forgot to hide my fleshlight that was on full show in the bathroom sink for all to see.
krijgziektes: As a kid i had limited access to internet, so i downloaded loads of porn onto my ipod touch.
Icloud synced it all to my mom's photo library
JamieDrone: LMFAO
| 3 | 49.333333 | |
1660465407 | 1660505535 | t3_wo1a6e | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by not staying awake like I planned.
[deleted]
Nunyazbznz: Sounds like you needed sleep.
Mr_Mysterious08: I did indeed- but now I’m really upset because he doesn’t have much time off like that. He’s working 2 jobs and doesn’t necessarily have a stable living environment. I just wish someone would’ve told me he was coming.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1660491353 | 1660500371 | t3_wo96h6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling in love with my Best Friend/Business Client and hiding our Relationship from her SO
[deleted]
finedirttaste: Give the girl an ultimatum: him or you. If she doesn't say she's going to break it off with the guy, you walk.
TIFU_throwaway3000: I feel like that goes against everything i talked about in my post? I fear she feels crippled by decisions that she can't make until October. If I get her an ultimatum, her mental state would fall off a cliff. It's specifically why I have never asked for a decision. It wouldn't work dude, not bad advice — I think it would apply to most situations, but not this one.
Maybe in person. So I can look at her face and read her emotions. If she comes here to see me, and it feels like we're still doing the dance and not trying to get to the bottom of it, then I'll walk. I won't have a choice. IF she still can't open up when it's just the 2 of us alone, face to face it's never gonna work. Ever.
finedirttaste: You know the situation best, but you're alone and playing understudy. Seems like you're the only one that stands to be hurt by her indecisions.
TIFU_throwaway3000: Yeah. That's the truth, but her partner (if he's real) is also a potential victim. If things work out with me, he'll be devastated to learn it was me considering all the reassurances she must give him that there's nothing happening (he knows I exist, but only professionally, he doesn't know KNOW though). If it doesn't work out between us, then I'm hurt because of everything that's happened. However, I wouldn't be surprised. This isn't pointless. Talking it out. I may not do what everyone wants me to do, but I'm guarded. I have the privledge of seeing the situation from many POV's and not only mine. If I never talked to a single person, it would have never occured to me that what we were doing is considered cheating because I was too close to it. I understand the bias that I have, and my desire to believe that thigns are more complicated, but I know that. And that's pretty good to be aware of your biases. It'll still hurt, but it won't be catastrophically painful.
finedirttaste: Put your job first, because losing a job/client over someone who was never yours would be the worst of all worlds.
TIFU_throwaway3000: Now, THAT'S something we've actually talked about. We both agree, regardless how messy it is or how messy it will become, we came together initially because we have the same creative goals and so we do in fact have a profound respect for that part of our relationship and we don't really mix the emotions there. In my post, I wrote that was my hesitation, but I've come to learn we could still be good clients. She pays me very well, and I can do virtually anything I want, I'm able to do for her nobody else can professionally, we compliment each other there like PB&J and not much could be said or not said personally that would stop that. We just wouldn't really speak to each other, my job is already pretty autonomous, we only communicate because we like each other. It's completely not needed, I have clients I never spoke too haha.
| 7 | 0.714286 | |
1660492915 | 1660505582 | t3_wo9rm1 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a haircut
[deleted]
q_t_puella: two things, if possible get a wig to cover it and maybe find a competent hairdresser even if it costs more money next time
Eli5678: In my experience, the best haircuts I've gotten have been the cheap places. $20 haircut and I'll tip $10 cause $20 is cheap.
Pauzhaan: You are a guy. Totally different.
Eli5678: I'm a guy now, but i was a girl at one time (I'm trans lol). My shittiest haircut was this fancy place my mother took me as a child. I had long hair and there was a 3 inch difference from one side compared to the other.
Pauzhaan: Cool. I’d love to have a drink with you. I have a few MTF friends & they are open & fun. If I know anybody who is FTM I don’t know it. I have a lesbian friend who only goes to barbers.
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1660493419 | 1660500390 | t3_wo9yqi | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: Tifu: I got what I deserved
[deleted]
rosiofden: Have you ever been screened for ADHD? Honest question, I'm seeing some parallels here.
BillMagicguy: Yeah, I'm on meds for it and working on it with my therapist. I think that was in the post.
Pauzhaan: Neglecting pets is super huge for me & my daughter is the same way. That could have been the last straw.
BillMagicguy: It is for me too. I loved those pets and this is definitely not a normal event. It was fully deserved to be the last straw.
Pauzhaan: You learned the lesson then & will be a better person now…
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1660496890 | 1660527043 | t3_wobalv | t5_2to41 | 55 | minhokami: TIFU I just shat myself in front of my girlfriend.
Just as the title says.
For a context - last night I was home alone and got really sick waking up in the middle of the night running to the bathroom and threw up violently followed by explosive diarrhea.
I decided to eat nothing today but a banana since I still felt a bit sick to my stomach, buy I may have fucked up when I drank a Monster energy drink, uou know, to fill my sugar level.
Fast forward I am cuddling with my girlfriend after 'bed wars' naked and I felt like I needed to slip a fart so I did. To my horror I felt a liquid get out of my butt hole and decided to run to the toilet.
I hear my girlfriend laughing from the room. Some of the liquid diarrhea managed to get on the bedsheet and I was sitting on the toilet with terrible stomach pain and my girlfriend was laughing at the shit I accidentally released on the bed.
Ashamed as hell I had to make up the bed and take some meds for stomach pain. Hope this never happens to me or anyone ever again.
TLDR: drank an energy drink after throwing up and having a diarrhea and I shat myself without wearing underwear after sex.
apexncgeek: It happens. Everybody gets sick Everybody Poops
-the_official_FBI-: not everyone drinks monster when they’re sick tho
| 3 | 18.333333 | |
1660499320 | 1660544913 | t3_woc7w9 | t5_2to41 | 8,300 | Pandawisdom: TIFU by snorkling without training, proper gear, and warm-up. Near death experience.
I (27m) am a big guy with a sedentary lifestyle. Went on a beach with my family the other day. My uncle and cousin asked if I wanted to snorkle with them. My overly confident self said yes and borrowed one of my cousin's snorkle gear while wearing my jeans shorts.
It went swimmingly (yep) for about 15 minutes or so then they suggested to loose our life vest so that we can go deeper. I said yes without understanding that you need proper training to do this and they've done it since they were children, not me.
We proceeded without it and all of a sudden i found myself not being able to keep up. I triend swimming faster but suddenly water got into my snorkle. Fuck. I went up as fast as I could. I took the snorkle off and a wave hit me. We were about 70 meters away from the beach. Water was about 6 meters deep.
I PANICKED.
I tried yelling but more waves hit my face.
My uncle and cousin couldnt hear me because they were ahead.
I turned back and swammed like there's no tomorrow to the beach. More waves hits me. And all of a fucking sudden with its impeccable timing,
CRAMPS.
Both of my calfs are seizing. I don't know if it was adrenaline or luck. I managed to swam 50 meters to safety while having cramps on both legs.
My uncle and cousing went back shortly after realizing I was gone. I went on playing with sand for the rest of the day to calm my nerves.
So please everyone, if you're going into the sea. Have at least basic trainings and gears with you. Dont fuck around.
TLDR: over-estimated my swimming ability. Went snorkling without proper gear and training. Got cramps, almost died.
Edit: I know wearing jean shorts to swim is stupid. That's why I'm here.
And also thank you for the kind words. Some of you guys are really supportive. I really appreciate that. I decided not to give up snorkling or scuba diving. Will definitely get a proper lesson and gear beforehand.
Edit 2 Electric Bugaloo: Huge part of my FU was caused by my sedentary lifestyle. I found a good gym on my way back from work and gonna sign up tonight. Thank you guys.
Edit 3: Both my uncle and cousin had fins. I'm starting to think either they really were unaware of the dangers or put me in harm's way on purpose.
purduekid207: Glad you're ok. Swimming in open water can be terrifying. I've dealt with waves and currents and always figured as long as I have my snorkel, I can just lay there and breath. Wrong.
Last year in Greece, I was taking a shortcut across the bay. It hit me just how deep the water was (maybe 10 meters) and I could feel my mind and body starting to freak out. It was all mental, but my heart was racing and I felt like I couldn't catch my breath. Luckily, there was a boat anchored nearby. I made it to the boat and just hung on to the rope for about 10 minutes until I could calm down and finish the swim.
adinfinitum225:
>It hit me just how deep the water was (maybe 10 meters)
It always surprises me what freaks people out about the water. Most of the spots in the lake we take our boat to and go swimming at are at least 10 meters deep, and at least 20m in some spots
morosis1982: But you are within easy reach of a boat that you can hold onto?
adinfinitum225: Most of the time. But so was the person I replied to, even if it wasn't their boat.
morosis1982: The difference between 'my boat' and 'luckily there was *a* boat is not small.
adinfinitum225: Even still, unless the water is less than 2m it doesn't make a difference. You take a break and then you keep on swimming. They emphasized the depth of the water in their comment.
morosis1982: The chance someone will be able to save you in 2m vs 20m is a big difference.
adinfinitum225: Not really? Unless there's someone trained and watching most drownings are unnoticeable. Most of the drownings at the lake we go to are in the the 3-4m drop offs, and at public parks with other people around.
morosis1982: Yep, because if someone who can help notices you drowning and can save you, then you don't become part of that stat.
That's literally survivorship bias, or perhaps anti-bias.
To know if that makes any sense at all you'd need to know how many almost drowned but were saved, and then as a percentage of saves vs drowns at each depth. Pure numbers are not enough, as most people regardless of ability will be at the shallow end, as it were.
adinfinitum225:
>Yep, because if someone who can help notices you drowning and can save you, then you don't become part of that stat.
And where does the depth of water come into that? Unless you're saying that there's more people in the shallow water, so what really matters is how many people you're around
morosis1982: It's easier to save someone in 2m that 20m. Partly because of likely proximity to shore, but also because first you may need to swim down to get them and many people won't be able to swim further than a few metres *and* be able to drag them back up, and get them to shore.
| 12 | 691.666667 | |
1660503613 | 1660505558 | t3_wodvfu | t5_2to41 | 38 | tongroy: TIFU by not turning on airplane mode.
TIFU by not turning on airplane mode on a ferry. I (15M) am currently traveling in Europe for vacation. I was in London and the next part of my tour was in Amsterdam. I took a ferry for that connection. On the ferry, my cell carrier charges for data and texts. $15/MB and $0.50/Text. Now the bill is around $360 and I don’t know how to pay it. I could have avoided this all with a click of a button. Of course, my friends happened to text a lot during my ferry. It sucks because I can’t even do anything about it. I didn’t even have my phone on me to turn it off. I’m so annoyed because had I listened to the tour guide I wouldn’t have to go through this mess. I don’t make a lot of money from my job to pay this bill in a timely manner, and my parents won’t pay it for me. This sort of ruined my vacation even though I have been trying to put it off. Why does this have to happen to me?
I hate my life.
TL;DR: I didn’t turn on airplane mode on a ferry ride and now there is a ridiculous charge on my phone bill.
FIVE7_O_RAHRAH: I didn’t know that could happen .. It was a simple mistake tho , don’t beat urself up over it 💯👌🏽
tongroy: Yeah, it charges that much because it is a satellite connection. I know I am still young and have a long life ahead of me but this is a super big bump in the road for me.
FIVE7_O_RAHRAH: Nah I definitely feel you , I’ve been there before so don’t feel too bad , hard times don’t last forever, always remember that 👌🏽💯
tongroy: Thanks I appreciate that!
FIVE7_O_RAHRAH: Anytime My G 💯🤘🏾
| 6 | 6.333333 | |
1660503786 | 1660577596 | t3_wodxve | t5_2to41 | 608 | throwaway3829203: TIFU by insulting my only friends child
[removed]
Ratzink: It sounds like you're going through extreme grief. This isn't a fuck up it's you being human. Try some counseling and call your friend and apologize. Explain like you did here. If they aren't jerks they'll understand.
awe018: "threw my phone and flowerpot at him"
Would they really be jerks for leaving?
All my sympathy to this guy but would someone really be jerks for not understanding why they got phone and flowerpot at them?
I really hope they understand the situation and be with OP.
Ratzink: I wasn't saying they were jerks for leaving and not understanding why the stuff was thrown at them. I was saying they would be jerks if they didn't understanding about her passing. Sometimes people react in anger to stuff like that.
Edit for clarification
awe018: Oh! Thanks for the clarification. I was genuinely confused.
| 5 | 121.6 | |
1660504543 | 1660541844 | t3_woe88k | t5_2to41 | 25 | Haumea207: TIFU by saying some bad things to my wife
Me(33) and my wife(28) got married 6 months ago. It was an Indian arranged marriage. We didn't get much time to get to know each other before marriage. Due to family pressure and other circumstances we got just 3 months from the day we met till our marriage.
But we were sure from beginning that we are completely different people, from our likes dislikes to our personalities.
I'm happy just to sit with her, but she needs to have long conversations.
I'm an introvert, she's an extrovert. This has caused lot of issues in our marriage.
I've always felt guilty about not meeting her expectations, like i'm facially and verbally very less expressive. Not able to carry the conversations with her. She had expressed these problems multiple times with me, I've tried to improve on these, but it is difficult to simple change ones character.
Inspite of all our differences we love and care for each other.
Sometimes my mind goes to some dark places. Due to some very silly issue my mind went there today and while talking to my wife on phone (she is at her parents house for sometime), I said some bad stuff about her (which I have been feeling for some time).
This escalated very quickly and now she feels that we should get a divorce. She has also promised that she'll never express anything with me ever again.
I think I've ruined our relationship.
I don't want to lose her. Feeling lost right now.
TL:DR : I said some bad stuff to my wife and I think I've ruined our relationship.
DizaleYo: TIFU by being forced into an arranged marriage to someone I didnt really know. There ya go champ
respectfulpanda: Not necessarily forced to have the arranged marriage.
Haumea207: It was not forced as such, but the expectations, comments and behavior of family and society will make you accept it.
DizaleYo: I wholeheartedly apologize as I was uneducated about arranged marriages. I thought that the participants had no say in the matter and it was forced upon them by family and societal norms.
Haumea207: Some of the marriages are like that, but things are changing.
The pair get to meet and discuss atleast once before they finalize about each other.
It obviously is not enough to decide if they are good match for each other, hence the problems.
| 6 | 4.166667 | |
1660506624 | 1660507821 | t3_wof0hx | t5_2to41 | 7 | littlexxprincess: TIFU by putting a used needle into my arm
Technically, this happened last night.
My friends and I were drunk and one of them decided he was going to tattoo himself- this was normal as all his tattoos were done to himself and he does this regularly.
I dont have any tattoos, and I asked him if it hurts. He asked if i wanted to feel and i said sure why not.
I took the gun and put it on my arm, it didnt draw blood and it didnt make a mark, it was unplugged and today you can see the faintest, tiniest red dot. However, my whole arm is extremely sore and aches. BUT I get body aches when im hungover so i have a predicament on my hands.
It doesnt hurt to push on the site, and theres no lump or bump under the skin. I have pretty bad anxiety tho and cant help but feel extremely stupid that I did that.
My friend has bo blood illnesses and gets checked so he knows he doesnt, but i still fucked up pretty badly.
If anyone can calm my nerves, that would be great.
TL;DR- i pushed a used tattoo gun into my arm and it didnt mark, but its really sore and im scared i have a disease.
fliguana: Ask your friend if he is HIV+. If not, you are ok.
littlexxprincess: He doesnt have HIV, so i was fine last night. It was the over googling i think that got me. Thanks for your help!
Bubbagumpredditor: Hiv hepatitis monk ypox siphilis teatnus and ever other damned thing
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1660508509 | 1660510188 | t3_wofqlx | t5_2to41 | 3 | feetaremypassion69: TIFU by trusting the AITA subreddit
[removed]
armyfreak42: Why the fuck would you expect support from a subreddit dedicated to judging whether or not people are assholes?
feetaremypassion69: I was expecting someone to tell me what I could do to fix things if I was the asshole. Instead I got mocked for my fetish.
armyfreak42: Again, AITA hasn't been a place for rational advice ever. You went to the wrong sub if you wanted advice and feelings to be accounted for. I wouldn't go to r/videogames for advice on refinancing my home. Yeah, you fucked up.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1660508584 | 1660582867 | t3_wofrmc | t5_2to41 | 65 | aristopoieo: TIFU by letting out a burp that broke the sound barrier.
Hi, first post on here! Hopefully formatting makes sense!
This happened about a year ago. Me (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) have been dating for about 5 years ever since we were both 15 and things have always been amazing between us - i don't want to get sappy but he's a really great person. He has helped me heal from so many things and whenever we're together i always have to find the nearest tree or wall to lean against because my stomach hurts from laughing too much.
Anyways. All of that just to let you know that i always feel very relaxed and comfortable around him, and while that is generally a great thing, it also ended up being the reason of my TIFU moment.
One day we were out on a little date and we decided to have lunch at a burger place which is amazing. I got mt favourite chicken sandwich with fries and coke, which was so good i scarfed it down like an animal not realising how FULL i was getting.
After my meal i started feeling a bit weird - nothing serious, just very very stuffed and like i needed to get some air out.
Now, i am not very gifted when it comes to ass ripping or stuff like that, but goddamn i can let out the best burps you'll ever hear. I genuinely take pride in that. I usually burp as i please when I'm alone and no one's nearby, but for the sake of politeness and looking good for my man i always refrained from burping in front of me.
Well... That day i ended up feeling so comfortable and relaxed that i let out the NASTIEST MOST LOUDEST FUCKING B U R P that you could ever imagine, and i swear it broke the sound barrier. Lasted a good 4-5 seconds. It just totally slipped out, i couldn't even realise what i was doing. I was just like... BUIUUUUUUUURP.
But boy oh boy did i realise what i had just done AFTERWARDS. I was mortified. I was so embarrassed i could barely speak. My boyfriend on the other hand was pissing himself next to me and told me that "other men were probably going to stay away from him because he clearly one-upped all of them with that". In the end we were both laughing and I've been happily burping ever since. He doesn't mind and he actually does too sometimes. I'm actually the grosser one in the relationship!
TL;DR: i accidentally let out a huge burp that broke the sound barrier in front of my boyfriend. Boyfriend metaphorically went into cardiac arrest from laughing too hard. I've been happily burping ever since!
Amerikaner83: That sounds not like a tifu in the least... though your bf may be questioning his manliness
aristopoieo: Oh he definetely isn't! He's a pretty manly dude whose manliness doesn't reside in burps lmaoo
RicLan26: I think your post could go on r/MadeMeSmile, I laughed so hard I even got a tear in my eye. There's no TIFU, but a great on-going love story.
aristopoieo: Aw thank you! I let my boyfriend read this and he says thank you too! Your comment could also go on the same sub 😊
| 5 | 13 | |
1660510819 | 1660514410 | t3_woglx9 | t5_2to41 | 56 | SnooBananas3247: TIFU by letting my crush know I have a crush on her in the most embarrassing and cringiest way possible
Fuck Snapchat, fuck the internet, my internet particularly, ruined my fucking day in the most fuckiest way possible. I accidentally sent a story that I wanted to send to my friends about her, but I deleted it on time. BUT THE FUCKING INTERNET WAS SLOW, the story actually wasn’t deleted. The stupid fucking internet crashed the systems when I tried to delete it. AND WHEN I CHECKED IN AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS, SHE SAW IT ALREADY ALONG WITH A COUPLE OF MY FRENS.
FUCK FUCK FUCK
IM DOOMED. THE STORY WASNT JUST “I luv u” or similar shit, IT WAS TOO SEXUAL.
Embarrassed, doomed, tf will she be thinking? Me as a PERVY DTF WERIDO???
.
.
.
Not long another I saw another huge misfortune. I made a separate custom story for my crush long ago, it was called “😻My Cutie😻”, thinking that Snapchat is safe and secure. And that no one can see the custom story’s name. After this mishap. I started doubting this too. I added my lil brother to the custom story for a while to see if he can see the custom story’s name.
Annnnnnd:
Another bitchass moment for a brain dead dingbat like me. HE COULD VIEW THE FUCKING STORY. So ALL THIS MOTHAFUCKIN TIME SHE COULD FUCKING SEE MY STORY’S NAME CALLED “😻MY CUTIE😻”
I felt like a dick…
As a near intofuckingvert, this felt blatantly damaging.
Iam actually very depressed.
.Help
TL;DR my crush saw my Snapchat story I didn’t wanna post that I have a crush on her in a very weird and pervy way
Edit: (she never said anything about the story’s name, maybe she was deliberately ignoring it? I can’t even talk to her now)
respectfulpanda: Perhaps you could talk to her parents, explain what you really meant, and have them advocate on your behalf? I mean to really solidfy the FU as being the worst way possible?
Keep us updated on what the parents say.
PM_ur_Rump: Lol, this reminded me of a friend of mine, super nice guy, but total self-inflicted incel.
He's had a thing for some girl he grew up with forever, a family friend. One time, while camping, he was telling the story, again, of how they were always supposed to get married eventually or whatever, when he got to the latest bit about her cutting him out after some interaction gone wrong.
He kept saying he "just needs to talk to her parents, they'd clear things up with her"
Everyone there, men, women, the people in the neighboring campsite, we all were like "noooooo God damn it, just no. You talk to her if she chooses to talk to you again, or you suck it the fuck up and move on. Involving her parents was guaranteed to make it worse. The least sexy/romantic/whatever thing he could do was that."
No matter what he just kept repeating, "no, I just need to talk to her parents, they wanted me to marry her...."
Needless to say, he's still single...... Ladies?
respectfulpanda: Yes, that is skin crawling.
PM_ur_Rump: He's his own worst enemy. Girls have actually pretty much thrown themselves at him, as he's not bad looking or out of shape, and he's fairly well off and quite outgoing socially. He's just a bonafide "nice guy" in the worst way. He would literally still be trying to woo a girl after she has gotten naked in front of him, said "take me now" then gotten bored and left, lol.
Hell, one time, we were at the mountain (we are snowboarders/skiers) and were partying in the lot after lifts closed. He likes to try to impress/take care of everyone, so he had a projector out, playing old ski movies and such. There was a decent crowd of friends and random people who had joined, and he decided it was a good time to put a cringy YouTube video about "The Hot/Crazy Scale" on the big screen. I'm pretty sure *nobody* got laid that night. You could hear vaginas snapping shut echoing off the mountain.
| 5 | 11.2 | |
1660511073 | 1660512117 | t3_wogpj4 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking up with my boyfriend
[deleted]
Magnedeus: Man you really stepped on his heart, with cleets no doubt. Dude poured his heart out to you and you just threw it all away. Not gonna call you horrible for doing this, but I'm sure this is really gonna hurt him a lot more than it's hurting you.
thebeardedgreek: You are kinda calling her horrible even if you don't say it, which I don't think she is. People can make mistakes in love without being monsters.
Magnedeus: Can you really say this is a mistake on her part? everyone has their reasons for ending a relationship. Even if we judge them, the choice is ultimately theirs.
thebeardedgreek: Yes, she made the mistake of not being more clear that she wasn't sure what her identity and orientation are before inviting him over.
Also, before you develop this kind of infatuation with someone you would be better off learning more about them. If she's wrestling with this part of herself, he would have been better off learning that and waiting for her to figure that out before letting himself fall so hard for her.
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1660515074 | 1660616041 | t3_woi87x | t5_2to41 | 877 | FarIncident7308: TIFU by sending my mom my Gf and I’s sextape.
Yes this really happened. My gf (22) and I (22) are in the car with my two buddies. We are about 1hr from my moms place and I was messaging my mom pictures of our day out. The 3rd image was a sextape of my gf riding me balls flying and everything smfh. I don't know how i could be so stupid by sending the video but thats just a classic case of I'm an idiot. See the worst part is my gf and mom are extremely close. They always hang out now I fear she'll resent us both lol.
As soon as I realized I put my phone on airplane mode and the video bounced back minutes later. I've never even had to have THE talk with my mom she's always been calm and cool about everything but seeing my erect pp on camera might just spark the worst conversation of my life.
We are now speeding to my mums so i can
hopefully intercept the message. I never go on my moms phone so I don't know how the hell i'm going to explain that I need to use it. I don't even live at home anymore.
My two friends find this hilarious and are no help whatsoever its been straight jokes all ride back. I need an excuse or some sort of damage control advice before i get disowned.
TL;DR accidentally sent my mom my gf and I’s sextape now we’re playing need for speed to intercept it before she noticed.
Edit: Got home to her sitting on the couch with my father… luckily they were consumed with dancing with stars replays and hadnt touched her phone. I told her theres new apple settings that are invasive to personal data LOL and then let the video deliver to her phone and deleted it. All clear crisis averted and yes im a dumbass
Edit 2: All you speaking on my grammar seem to be forgetting I SENT MY MOM MY SEXTAPE GRAMMAR WAS THE LEAST OF MY CONCERN. I rather keep it authentic!!
Thanks for the silver you made me feel better knowing someone got a kick out of my idiotic mistake lol
HonestCup20: Plot twist:
Mom replies "Looks like you two having a great relationship, are you both still coming over for pasta later? Uncle Bob will be in town! <3 "
FarIncident7308: my race doesnt have no uncle bobs but tbh i could see her making a joke like that in future lol if I was a parent i wouldnt care just delete and move on but a lot of the boomers don’t even know of phub sooo tough convo
HonestCup20: why the downvotes? seems like OP is cool with the joke here. geesh people.. odds are you got some downvotes just because you mentioned "race" in your reply.. it's a trigger word here on Reddit.
FarIncident7308: yeah idk why theyre butthurt i was just joking race does not determine a name you snowflakes💀 thanks for the backup u/HonestCup20 🙏
HonestCup20: I got you! too many lurking Karens out there to not have eachother's back in times like these.
| 6 | 146.166667 | |
1660515332 | 1660600157 | t3_woibos | t5_2to41 | 5,719 | distalented: TIFU by waking up at 7am with the intense urge to take a shit.
This story isn’t very long so it got removed for being too short so here’s this-
I had awoken to a rumbling in my stomach accompanied by a dull yet sharp pain. I roll over in Bed to see my clock read 7:23am. I rolled out of bed, and rush to the bathroom as I can feel the soft serve attempting to make a couple scoop in my pants.
When I get to the bathroom I pull my underwear down and plop my fat oversized ass cheeks on toilet seat, and prepare myself to drop the browns off at the super bowl. This is where I realize I’m light headed, I tried to catch my breath while I pushed but my half asleep brain didn’t think much of how dumb straining while already lightheaded is.
And just like that I awoke on the floor, pants around my ankles, shit on my ass, eyebrow partially split open, tongue bit, glasses scratched, and a sore nose. I’m not sure how I fell, what I hit my face on, or how long I was out. I awoke to a family member knocking on the door saying they “heard a noise and wanted to make sure I was ok”. I had responded stating I was fine, I got up wiped the blood off my face, and looked at my tongue which hurts the most.
After that I finished my business and went back to bed, slept for 6 hours after that, and everything is fine and I’m just lucky it wasn’t worse.
TL;DR: fainted while taking a shit, woke up with a split eyebrow, bitten tongue, sore face and scratched glasses.
DanPluto: Damn. I know someone who had that not too long ago. Better get yourself checked, it could be a sign of something else.
distalented: I would if I wasn’t dead broke, I’m thinking it was a combination of getting up fast and pushing too hard, hopefully that’s all it is
BravestSloth: Had the exact same thing happen to me. Urge to shit in the middle of the night, passing out while straining on the toilet. Woke up to my wife on the phone with 911. I declined the ambulance ride once they arrived as I was able to shit and felt a lot better. Wife insisted I go to the hospital to get checked out and this is what they said it was. No medication, no advice on what to do and was probably just a combination of straining and getting up too quickly to shit. This is $2000 later with insurance.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vasovagal-syncope/symptoms-causes/syc-20350527
YerAwldDasDug: Christ imagine having to pay for healthcare
KanedaSyndrome: Those Americans are honestly insane. I don't know why they insist on doing this to themselves. Same with the whole education thing, imagine willingly reducing your talent pool by gatekeeping higher educations with money.
Jumajuce: Imagine living in a country where the government intentionally doesn’t vote in the best interests of the people for their own gain and have rigged the elections to prevent their removal from office?
Well that’s what it’s like here. The rest of the world really needs to stop pretending “those Americans” are driving this train because the people who stole all the money locked us out of the engine car a long time ago.
KanedaSyndrome: Yeh I know that there's a lot of you that wouldn't want it this way.
In general your election system fucks you over with the whole "the majority vote isn't really the vote that counts"
Jumajuce: “In general your election system fucks you over with the whole "the majority vote isn't really the vote that counts"
Literally more than you know.
>When the preferences of economic elites and the stands of organized interest groups are controlled for, the preferences of the average American appear to have only a minuscule, near-zero, statistically non-significant impact upon public policy.
>The failure of theories of Majoritarian Electoral Democracy is all the more striking because it goes against the likely effects of the limitations of our data. The preferences of ordinary citizens were measured more directly than our other independent variables, yet they are estimated to have the least effect.
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/perspectives-on-politics/article/testing-theories-of-american-politics-elites-interest-groups-and-average-citizens/62327F513959D0A304D4893B382B992B
KanedaSyndrome: Yeh, it's untenable.
Jumajuce: Our government statistically does not give a shit about what we think. The real focus that people from other countries should be talking about isn’t how Americans consistently vote against their own best interest, but how Americans are being held hostage by our own government utilizing an over armed police force, the destruction of public education, and an active decades long brainwashing campaign. I would challenge any one who thinks Americans are voting against their own interests to present any population that could withstand the corrupt government of arguably the most powerful nation on the planet that is actively working against its own population to usurp democracy and create a financial dependence on the lowest possible standard of living.
KanedaSyndrome: Ok, it honestly sounds like you need a rebellion. All things said, a lot of Europeans are aware that a lot of you didn't choose this system and would pick another one if given a real chance. In general, the entire Lobbyism thing should be made illegal, it's bribery.
Jumajuce: I look at it this way, most of us forget that the United States isn’t even 250 years old. Most countries have gone through several governments, multiple political reforms, uprising‘s, revolutions, collapses, etc. The United States has gone through exactly one Civil War and its entire history. It’s not unreasonable for a country as young as the United States to be on the verge of major political change, the problem comes from this major political change occurring in the modern era in a country where that change will impact global trade and power structure. for all the flag that people give Americans most people don’t consider their ancestors had to go through this exact thing hundreds of years ago so that they don’t have to worry about it now, we didn’t have that chance and that’s probably what we’re looking at today. My only hope is that it all happens smoothly.
Also hopefully I’m not coming off as an asshole in this, it’s just that it’s tiring to say the same things repeated over and over again by people in other countries who don’t actually consider the historical or political situation we’re dealing with in the states.
KanedaSyndrome: You're not coming of as an asshole, so no worries. I appreciate your insights.
| 14 | 408.5 | |
1660517470 | 1660530360 | t3_woj4zj | t5_2to41 | 3,138 | [deleted]: TIFU by ultimately ruining my marriage
[deleted]
FleurSalome: That lie from your daughter and remark from ex are pretty shitty ; but DUDE you don't kick out of your house a 6 month pregnant wife !
WeeBo2804: With twins. I feel like that needs to be mentioned. That’s pretty much equivalent to full term pregnancy.
Longjumping_Fly_4662: Twin or no twin shouldn't matter.
YRUZ: regular 6 month pregnancy is already shitty enough not to kick someone out.
twin pregnancy is even shittier.
cnyfury: Would you say that if the wife had hit the child tho? I mean op shouldn’t have been so quick with the boot but nobody should be hitting kids.
YRUZ: yea, i can absolutely understand that and in the heat of the moment, i'm not sure i wouldn't kick her out.
but rationally, leaving your two kids with a woman who you believe to have just hit your other kid is a bad decision, even if it was true. either way, kicking her out might ensure you’re never gonna see any of them again.
cnyfury: Yeah he should have got the whole story first. I sure don’t envy him and hope things work themselves out. Shitty situation.
| 8 | 392.25 | |
1660517612 | 1660520290 | t3_woj6rs | t5_2to41 | 457 | strawberryblond00: TIFU By stretching in my aunt's living room NSFW(Medical descriptions)
So there I was, out of town visiting family; I didn't want to skip my stretching regime as uni cheer season starts in less than a month and so after lunch I picked a nice spot on the Persian rug to start warming up.
Everything was fine, I was at the end of my session, had gone into the splits already half a dozen time but just wanted to push one last one for the fun of it and show my cousin who's been very curious how flexible I have become.
I stand proud right foot forward and go "Hey look at this!", unbeknownst to me my left foot has left the rug and is now on the marble floor just off to the side, I go for it maybe a bit too enthusiastically and going into my splits I slip, my whole body weight falls side ways on my left knee. There's a loud pop and I'm on the ground gasping for air not even comprehending what has happened yet, but I look down and my knee cap is all the way to the side and my foot is now facing a very very wrong direction.
Now, I'm very lucky to have a doctor as a mom, but I have to say, no amount of reassurance and professional personnel in the room would have made it hurt any less; In the twenty minutes that followed I almost blacked out multiple times from the pain, and when the ambulance finally arrived there were no medics or nurses on board just volunteers, so no one can put it back and no one could give me anything for the pain.
At this point I'm shaking and I've been told bright red in the face as I just sob in shock on the floor.
Trip to a&e was horrible and all they gave me was paracetamol, the dislocation ended up being reduced by my mom actually putting in the splint (as the volunteers didn't really know what they were doing) and thank god for that! After hours of crying in pain I finally managed to see an ortho who proudly told me they never ever give anything for reduction unless it's hips. He was very nice though as he drained my now blood filled knee with the biggest syringe I had ever seen.
So now I have a full leg cast, a probable complete tear of a ligament which will need in surgery and I am in horrible pain, I'm using crutches but they're surprisingly tiring, also I can't put my leg up or down on my own! So someone has to help me do that at all times, and oh, since the cast starts on a very point of my upper thigh it is also almost impossible to comfortably sit on the toilet!
TLDR. Stretched on a bad surface, ended up falling and completely dislocating my knee cap, and probably tearing through a ligament. Best case scenario I'll be in a full leg cast for at least a month.
Edit: So many people were sending me dms and being overall really curious, so I thought I would briefly post an update and say I finally got an MRI and the ligaments seem intact! I managed to sprain every single one and I have 3 fractures, but it's overall really great news! Thank you so much for all the love you've shown me in my fuck up!
JustWingIt0707: You most definitely popped either your MCL or ACL. You're right fucked for a while, you are.
strawberryblond00: Honestly thought it would be the LCL because of the area, but yeah either of them even if I hopefully don't need surgery who knows how long it'll actually take for it to heal.
Made me laugh! No one today wanted to openly tell me I'm a bit fucked even though it's pretty obvious especially for an athlete.
Thank you!
JustWingIt0707: I tore my ACL clear through, and I had a partial tear on my MCL. I elected to have a third of my patellar tendon grafted to my ACL, and I had to learn how to walk again.
strawberryblond00: God that sounds so rough, I'm so sorry and I feel your pain at least partially. I've heard the ACL is one of the worse things you can tear, is the recovery over? Kudos to you really, I'm on day one with this thing and I don't even know how to sleep.
JustWingIt0707: This was about 20 years ago. I recovered within a year.
| 6 | 76.166667 | |
1660521250 | 1660598767 | t3_wokh7k | t5_2to41 | 256 | -thenorthremembers-: TIFU by smoking weed instead of communicate with my date
Long term user and ex-abuser, I’ve learnt to manage my usage of weed with the help of therapy too. I haven’t used it to manage anxiety for years, but today I was feeling way too anxious for an upcoming exam, and since I was scared the girl I’m dating could see somehow less of me, I deliberately chose to roll one, instead of communicating my feelings; I then kinda panicked and told her what I did.
She’s full on rage mode, and said she’s confused since she doesn’t feel like I might be stable enough. I feel heartbroken. I know she has troubles trusting people, and I know I’ve hurt her. Now she is not talking to me, and I feel like there’s nothing I can actually do. I know this is not gonna happen again at all, I’ve felt so bad, but ofc I also understand her fear of me doing it without telling her, I know how addictions work.
TL;DR managed anxiety by smoking weed, now my date won’t talk to me.
jbarrybonds: I work in behavioral health as a Certified Recovery Peer Advocate, and I'd like to say that you had a lapse in judgement, but that does not make you any less valid of a person than you were before.
On one hand, anyone in recovery should work on themselves before they worry about a relationship. It's like the saying you can't learn to love someone else until you love yourself.
On the other hand, you explained you were struggling and you made a decision without her input, then informed her of the choice you made. This is, in my opinion, extremely forward and honest, inviting her into your journey of recovery. She could support you, or she could drop you. If she drops you, then she's not the one for you at this part of your journey.
-thenorthremembers-: Thank you so much for your reply.
I’ve been in therapy for more than 5 years, diagnosed CPTSD and OSDD and other stuff. I have done so much work and even chose not to have relationships for more than a year, because I knew I needed to focus on myself, and I did.
I really learnt to manage my ex addictions, don’t drink or smoke to cope and absolutely not in huge quantities. It wasn’t even something I felt like I needed to control each time, it got pretty natural for me.
I’m really heartbroken, knowin that I might have ruined the truly first relationship I had with someone who I felt sincerely so close.
jaypaw28: You didn't ruin the relationship. If she needs whoever she's dating to be completely in control of their mind is she okay with them taking antidepressants? Blood pressure medication? Migraine pills? Seizure meds?
All you did was take a drug to help treat one of the medical conditions it is used for and you were fully transparent about it as well. You did absolutely nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with smoking to help you deal with really bad anxiety flare-ups on occasion. Just be mindful of your frequency of use and if you notice it returning to levels you aren't comfortable with seek out some alternative methods and take steps to remove stressors before they appear.
Again, you did nothing wrong here. If she's worth your time she'll understand that and if not she's doing you a favor.
-thenorthremembers-: That’s ironic, since I actually take prescribed meds regularly LOL
Thank you for your reply, much appreciated!
jaypaw28: Np, I'm on stuff for my thyroid, cortisol levels, and plenty of other stuff!
While I agree with the general consensus that you deserve better treatment from your partner and she's currently showing some red flags, if you're deadset on patching things up try pointing out the medicine route. People get prescribed weed for a myriad of things including anxiety. If she isn't comfortable with that then she shouldn't be comfortable with any other medication either.
Best of luck!
| 6 | 42.666667 | |
1660522257 | 1660524540 | t3_woku4r | t5_2to41 | 12 | Bagel-Meister: Tifu by throwing a dog toy at my sleeping sister
This just happened like 15 minutes ago, I (M18) had just baked a pizza for myself while I was watching a movie, went into my sister’s room (F17) to see if she wanted any. Saw she had her eyes closed and called out to her. She responded no, and I asked if she was tired. She said that yeah and she was going to take a quick nap. After hearing that I saw that my dog had left it’s rubber ball toy in her room. The toy is not hard by any means and resembles a “JW Pet Hol-ee Roller Dog Toy”. So anyway, I picked it up and just felt like tossing it at her face just to mess with her. I threw it, and it was a complete bullseye, hit her square in the face, and no I didn’t chuck it at her or anything, it was a light toss. She then starts yelling and I’m laughing my ass of a bit cause it was pretty funny.
I then leave and go back to my movie and food. I took 3 slices from the pan and left the other 5 on the counter. Fast forward 5 minutes and she comes out of her room, grabs the maple syrup for pancakes, and proceeds to pour it all over my pizza, and I gotta be honest that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile😂 Even now I’m still laughing about it. I then gave her a hug and then put the syrup pizza on a plate and put it in the sink where I sprayed it with water for a bit then put it in the microwave, good as new.
TLDR: threw a dog ball at my sister she ruined my freshly baked pizza, funniest shit I’ve seen in awhile. I love sibling antics.
twohedwlf: I'm inclined to say spraying the pizza with water would ruin it more than the syrup.
Bagel-Meister: I had a slice of it, tasted fine🤷🏻♂️
AutisticPenguin2: Did you try it with the syrup tho
Bagel-Meister: Some of the syrup remained and to be honest, it was pretty good. However I don’t plan on putting maple syrup on my pizza in the future.
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1660522987 | 1660557756 | t3_wol3av | t5_2to41 | 1,616 | emta_official: TIFU sending a faceapp photo to my friend
This has happened recently and I really don't know what to think about my friend but I guess I caused him to think like that. It's more like my friends FU but anyway.
So I (22M) was messing around with faceapp doing funny faces and filters and wanted to use the female filter on my own face and ridiculously sent to my friend(27M). We both laughed and impressed by the app because it was doing pretty well.
My friend has a bit of incel thoughts in himself and gets angry when we talk about women and such (judging people by their looks and IQ level and blaming women for not having sex). Whenever I sent a girl filtered photo of myself he afterwards said can you send mine? So I did and applied the same filter on my friends face and sent him. He was so shocked and decided installing faceapp on his phone and kept sending me his "girl" version faces and photos. I was finding a bit awkward because he's saying like "omg I'm so sexy" stuffs which seemed a bit sus.
After a couple of hours later he told me that he doesn't need women anymore and he finally understands that his desire is not women, but himself, getting interested "sexually" interested in his filtered version because he thinks he's sexier than women. Also he said he will use Photoshop to make more "realistic" on his body and face which sounded creepy. I think he's jerking off on his filtered version and thinking nothing but himself revealing that he's has a very narcissistic personality. Now I don't think I'm able to be friends anymore because he always mentions how he looks beautiful and sexy. 💀💀💀
TLDR:I sent a faceapp photo of my friends face, he lost his interest in women and decided to get interested in himself and jerk off on his girl filtered version photos.
shesavillain: He’s about to turn into buffalo bill
PavlovzDogs: "Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard"
chriz_sevenfold: So that’s where that’s from lmao
PavlovzDogs: They also parody it in clerks 2:
https://youtu.be/-Bsbw1qCPGE
phillybookwoman: You have made my day! LMAO!
PavlovzDogs: Such a good movie 😂
| 7 | 230.857143 | |
1660526628 | 1660553309 | t3_wome6x | t5_2to41 | 16 | hiddensat: TIFU by not setting a password for my voicemail
I haven't used my voicemail in years so I didn't even know I had to set a password. Until today it had the default one. Unfortunately, I realized too late that this is something you must do, because if you don't, scammers can change it themselves, use it to hack your WhatsApp account (maybe Telegram as well) and then try to get your friends to "loan you" money.
This happened to me today and as soon as I found out I went to Instagram and posted a story to warn my friends about it. Turns out it was happening to several of my friends and acquaintances at the same time.
Fortunately, I was fast enough and none of my friends were scammed using my identity, but one of my friends transfer the scammers $6K because his "farther" asked him to make a transfer.
I haven't been able to get my WhatsApp account back, because I also hadn't set the 2-step verification code in WhatsApp so the scammers set it themselves. Now I have to wait 7 days to be able to change that code and regain access.
TL;DR I hadn’t set a password for my voicemail and scammers used it to hack my WhatsApp and try to get money from my friends.
DeepFudge9235: Tell your friend to watch out for recovery scammers that are scammers too.
hiddensat: What are recovery scammers?
DeepFudge9235: So once you are a victim of scammers like your friend who lost 6k the scammer that got them will tell other scammers to contact the victim and they will claim to be able to get the money back for a fee. But they won't and just take more money. So don't believe them.
From scam sub I belong to:
AutoModerator has been summoned to explain [recovery scams](https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0102-refund-and-recovery-scams). Also known as refund scams, these scams target people who have already fallen for a scam. The scammer may contact you, or may advertise their services online. They will usually either offer to help you recover your funds, or will tell you that your funds have already been recovered and they will help you access them. In cases where they say they will help you recover your funds, they usually call themselves either "recovery agents" or hackers. When they tell you that your funds have already been recovered, they may impersonate a law enforcement, a government official, a lawyer, or anyone else along those lines. Recovery scams are simply [advance-fee](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance-fee_scam) scams that are specifically targeted at scam victims. When a victim pays a recovery scammer, the scammer will keep stringing them along while asking for increasingly absurd fees/expenses/deposits/insurance/whatever until the victim stops paying. If you have been scammed in the past, make sure you are aware of recovery scams so that you are not scammed a second time. If you are currently engaging with a recovery scammer, you should block them and be very wary of random contact for some time. It's normal for posters on this subreddit to be contacted by recovery scammers after posting, and they often ask you to delete your post so that you both cannot receive legitimate advice, and cannot be targeted by other recovery scammers.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Scams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
hiddensat: Good to know. Thank you! I’ll tell him about it
LittleMoffle: Yeah so my aunt got scammed for 50 pound and panicked. Then when her 'bank' contacted her saying scammers had access to her account and they'd set up a secure account for her, she ended up giving over the rest of her money....
| 6 | 2.666667 | |
1660527415 | 1660529185 | t3_womo7p | t5_2to41 | 5 | R_I_P_Technoblade: TIFU by discovering roblox r63
Short and sweet, I went to google Roblox r6 (the original Roblox body) and saw Roblox r63 so I was curios and clicked on it is not good, google it if you want but it is very sus but to save you the effort the exact Wikipedia quote is " ROBLOX free-models that contain pornographic content hidden inside of them, bypassing filter. " seriously you guys get some help.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
ok now I'm going to put a bunch of random letters so that the moderator bots will let this pass:adafsafafafdfdfdfdfdfdfdfdfddafdafSFHsgfiuGFAufg;UFGuhgsadfhusa;fhusaghas;ghsa;fhds;aighsauoghasjghasjdkfghakdsfgha;ihugas;hugajfhga;sjfghjasfdk;ghajdkfghdakjgha;sdjfghsafjkgh;dakjgfha;kjdfghakfjghak;dfjghasdk;jfghfas;djghak;jghasdk;jgfhasjkfghajgfha;lkjghfa;jdsghfas;jgh;asjgdha;jdsghf;asljkgfha;slkgha;sjghas;ljghfas;jlgha;slkjghas;ljghsa;ljkfhga;aslkjghsas;lkjhgas;ljgfhas;ljgkhas;jlghfa;sljgkhaagjuapjog\[pojag;pasjuepoijpojsaokljdf';lagjlg;saj;l'gfjdlg;jas';jgsal;djg;'lsajgfl;'asjg;sljdg;lagj;ljsgdl;gjl;gjfda;ljgsl;'jasdjlgf;;asldgjl;asgjsa;lgjlas;jgfaksjgr'opjgfa'kjagdjgapssda
TL;DR don't google roblox r63, or do i don't care
Dark_Jester: That was far more mundane than I was expecting. My guy, look up Tub Girl.
EtiennedeWilde: Nooooo don't
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660529087 | 1660537252 | t3_won9t0 | t5_2to41 | 68 | [deleted]: TIFU by lying to the my coworker about clogging the toilet and getting called out.
[deleted]
The_new_Char: I’m finding it very hard to believe this story.
someawfulbitch: Me too, because the title says the fuck up was in lying to a coworker, but the story doesn't mention talking to a single fucking person between wrecking the shitter and the next day, when the footage was watched.
someawfulbitch: Well, I take it back, you said you were "swearing bullets", but I don't think that meant "lying about pooping" lol
| 4 | 17 | |
1660531325 | 1660575194 | t3_woo20a | t5_2to41 | 366 | TheDarkShadow369: TIFU by taking my sister out to eat...
This FU literally happened today, and im scared for whats next...
Every sunday after i finish work, i go to this bar or restaurant my father works a. while he's working, I usually get myself a dish called penne vodka, as well as buffalo wings for takeout for my sister.
well, my sister had finished work early today and i had to pick her up and i didnt want to stop home, so we both agreed to go to the restaurant. everything was going fine and all, and we got our signature dishes. the minute my sister got her dish however, she must've swallowed a piece of the chicken and it got lodged in her throat.
some people might say "why don't you make yourself vomit?", and she did, but it wouldn't budge from her throat. due to this complication, she was taken to the emergency room and as of now, she is currently gonna have to undergo surgery to either force it into her stomach or remove it bit by bit...
TL;DR took my sister out to eat, she got chicken lodged in her throat and now she's gotta undergo surgery.
Gorrila_Doldos: Sounds like a her problem now my guy
TheDarkShadow369: just needed to get some stress off my chest, thats all.
Gorrila_Doldos: I get you, wouldn’t of happened if you didn’t take her etc. She ate the chicken like a machine but didn’t remember you can’t chew bone
charlie_talks: it didn't say anything about a bone
| 5 | 73.2 | |
1660532180 | 1660558997 | t3_woocr3 | t5_2to41 | 281 | Xenton: TIFU my first time eating Edamame
It's not some exciting story of accidental incest or catastrophic defecation as most of the posts here, but it's one of the less pleasant things I've ever done.
Edamame beans are eaten like peas - you eat the individual seeds or peas, not the pod.
See I didn't know this.
No, I looked at the strange, hairy, wrinkled pods and thought
"Well, let's try something new today"
Turns out, the new thing I tried was eating hairy, bitter, plant leather.
Imagine if trees had a scrotum and that scrotum were left in the sun for 3 weeks. Now imagine you just put a handful of them in your mouth...
...In front of 5 other people, who have all stopped gently popping the peas out one-by-one to stare at you as you chew your pods, with difficulty. The incredulity on their faces a mirror of your own as you struggle to understand how anyone can eat this. See it hasn't dawned on you yet that this is wrong.
Instead you keep chewing, the hairs are in your teeth, your body won't even let you swallow because it's still a solid mass of half chewed cellulose.
Then come a voice - gentle and concerned - from across the table:
>You don't... Eat them whole.
Imagine you pause chewing - and just stare. You don't know what to do now. You're in too deep to remove them delicately. You know you won't be able to swallow without vomiting.
There's only one choice, the unceremonious napkin spit.
You try to salvage whatever dignity you have left, turning your head to the side as you spit the vile and inexplicably furry mass of bitter plant into the oversized napkin.
The table is silent. The napkin a scrunched up ball to the side of your plate, wet green shapes visible within.
You take another pod, carefully remove a pea.
It's not bad.
TL;DR:
You don't eat the pods.
J0EP00LE: You never know I saw a thread on here once about people eating all kinds of things, like unpeeled kiwi, apples core and all, bananas with the peel on…absolute monsters, I bet some monster out there eats the whole pod and likes it.
Schlubbyshrub: Kiwi skin ain't so bad. I ate a lot of it when I was a kid. Not a ton of flavour, just a weird fuzziness. My grandpa eats the entire apple minus seeds and stem, and while not a monster, definitely has some strange food loves
Charliebambi: The apple minus seeds and stem seems normal. What am I missing? Do you remove something else?
LibbyGoods: Haha, I think you’re confusing stem and core as the same thing. Unless you think eating the core is the normal way in which case I have some bad news for you
Charliebambi: But if you remove the seeds aren't you also automatically removing the core? Unless grandad went to the effort of picking out each seed one by one, in which case wow
Juggletrain: Theres only like 5 and they usually fall out once you get there
Charliebambi: Fair enough! Thanks for clarifying
| 8 | 35.125 | |
1660533957 | 1660554822 | t3_wooz3m | t5_2to41 | 11 | Apprehensive-Bit-667: Tifu by staying up later than I usually do.
[removed]
_sahib: As bad as that is and i feel sorry for you, i hope you understand your dad also needs someone. If he doesn't get sex after his marriage is done, he can get depressed and bitter and won't be able to take care of you properly
Apprehensive-Bit-667: Yeah, I can't stop my parents from having relationships its just hearing everything and my dad talk like that really.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1660530645 | 1660535334 | t3_wontkv | t5_2to41 | 3 | _GenderNotFound: TIFU by almost fainting in my kitchen
Obligatory "this didn't actually happen today." Obligatory "posting from my phone, sorry for spelling errors."
So I'm about 185 pounds, and I'm trying to make better eating habits for myself and lose some weight. I'm trying to eat less chocolate, more variety of foods, more healthy food, and only eat when I'm hungry. I've been self medicating with food since i was a kid due to depression and childhood trauma. I've started doing it more since the pandemic started though. I didn't really have much to do and I was very stressed out so I ate a lot. I didn't even realize how much.
I was overweight for years before the pandemic even started, and I often said that I should lose weight or made a mention of how I wanted to lose weight. I never acted on it, however, and believe me, I had a laundry list of excuses. The pandemic being the newest one.
However, I moved out in April and now I live alone. I've decided I want to be a better version of myself. I often use my mental health and more recently, the pandemic, as an excuse for a lot. I decided as soon as I moved out I wanted to start working on a plan to lose weight.
My most recent part of my plan has been trying to eat less often so I can make my stomach shrink and I won't need to eat as often. So, two days ago when I got hungry I didn't eat for a couple of hours after that. I eventually got up to make kraft dinner. I even ate a tiny snack, a couple bites of something I had in a container.
I felt really lightheaded when I got up. I went to the kitchen and put my kd in the pot. Everytime I got up from the couch to stir my kraft dinner I felt lightheaded. Then when I was stirring in the powder I felt really sick and I could hear the TV getting faint and a rushing in my ears. I put the kraft dinner in the bowl and rushed back to the couch, even laying down for a moment and letting it cool. I felt much better after I ate something. I will not make that mistake again.
Tl;dr: I'm trying to eat less often to try and lose weight but I waited too long and almost fainted.
Lord_Cockwood: Decreasing portion sizes is a good idea if you keep eating regularly. But decreasing portion sizes and then prolonging the meals irregularly just messes with your blood sugar levels.
Either eat small portions when you physically need it or try eating absolutely nothing at all for a while. The first two maybe three days you'll feel pretty awful but after that your body will have gotten used to the ketosis and you'll feel fine maybe even great. The pounds will vanish like crazy and you'll experience a mental clarity that is hard to describe.
_GenderNotFound: So when you say "for a while" how long do you mean? I've actually been considering doing some kind of cleanse, intermittent fasting, not eating for some time, stuff like that. I've read you should talk to your doctor first with that stuff.
| 3 | 1 | |
1660540094 | 1660766493 | t3_woqwx5 | t5_2to41 | 3 | reunionlame: TIFU by not going to my high school reunion
[removed]
ComprehensiveDust8: Your bullies will probably avoid you or apologise for their actions.
m4xr3b0b4nd: LMFAO those motherfuckers don't feel they've done anything wrong their whole lives.
ComprehensiveDust8: One of my bullies apologised to me, so it can happen.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1660547556 | 1660680994 | t3_wot14b | t5_2to41 | 74 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying a THEY/THEM shirt and getting ghosted
[deleted]
Booskop89: Imagine being so incredibly narrow-minded you tell someone they can't have certain friends. Newsflash: you can get along fine with people you don't agree with on certain points.
Even more so, it's incredibly boring being around people that agree with you all the time. Having a strong debate sharing opposing views can be a really refreshing experience, at least if you're not a little snowflake that can't handle different opinions.
LukZett: im sorry bro but being friends with ppl who cant respect basic human rights isnt really that great. i agree that sometimes its helpful to stay friends so u could maybe convince them, but at some point theres just nothing to do anymore but to give them a reality check and show them that being a bigot has consequences. with your logic, you could justify being friends with nazis
dieG0SU: Now I’m a nazi to, I’m down bad today
Dark_Jester: He . . . He didn't say you were a nazi. Man, with this level of reading comprehension, she dodged a bullet.
dieG0SU: Im just joshing
Dark_Jester: You're pretty bad at it, man.
dieG0SU: I have my days
Dark_Jester: Your joke was that you're a nazi now. That was it. It wasn't playing off anything because no one called you a nazi. You just stated you are one for no reason and that was a joke . . . somehow.
I don't think you have your days. I think this is pretty much the extent of it. This is your comedic peak.
flashpointprdx: You are insufferable.
Dark_Jester: Lemme guess, you're a Republican.
| 11 | 6.727273 | |
1660557770 | 1660633738 | t3_wovplg | t5_2to41 | 38,537 | TurtleTragedy: TIFU reading a manuscript my ex gf wrote
A few days ago I (28m) got an email from my ex gf (25) with the subject line: "I did it thanks to you!". The email had an attachment. The attachment was a manuscript. The manuscript was an autobiography written by my ex gf. The title of the autobiography instantly took me back to the time when my ex gf and I were still dating.
I was sexually inexperienced back in those days whereas my ex gf had more than enough sexual experience. We enjoyed talking about past relationships and what the sex was like. It was never "a thing" in our relationship. Just casual conversation. My ex gf had more stories to tell and all of them were entertaining. I remember joking about how she should someday write a book. We laughed, made love, and a few months later, our relationship came to an end. It was sad, but alas, life continued.
We're now back in the present. I finished reading the manuscript an hour ago. There were 72 chapters. Each chapter was about an individual person my ex gf had known sexually. No real names were mentioned. Only character labels. Like The Surfer, The Biker, The Jock, The Older Man, etc. Some of the stories and "characters" I actually remembered based on the details my ex gf shared with me during our relationship. Others were totally new. But new or not, it was fun to read. Until I made it to Chapter 39. My chapter. "The Turtle".
Keep in mind, all the sexual partners my ex gf mentioned in her manuscript had something specific about them that made the sex memorable for her. For example, The Surfer always smelled like the ocean, which never failed to turn her on. The Biker had gang tattoos from the neck down, but the one tattoo that always made her rip his clothes off was his pet hamster tattoo. Then there was me. A guy who couldn't swim, let alone surf, no tattoos, and with practically zero sexual experience at the time. What was so memorable about me?
Well, according to my chapter, the answer was my "adorably small penis". My ex gf described how she had almost forgotten what it felt like NOT to choke during oral, before she met me. She compared my penis to the head of a baby turtle, thus my chapter and character name. Based on what I was reading, not only did I have the smallest penis compared to all the other people she's dated, but I also had the only penis that somehow managed to look "too innocent" for sex.
It didn't come across as if my ex gf was purposefully trying to insult me, but come on, I think most people can understand what a sensitive topic penis size can be to any guy who's not hung like a horse. I still need to contact my ex gf and provide my feedback, but I'm gonna need some time to process what I read. It's not every day someone writes a book about your small dick. Welcome back, insecurities I didn't think I would have at this age.
TL:DR Jokingly encouraged my ex gf to write a book about her adventurous sex life when we were still together. She wrote a manuscript years later and recently sent it to me. To my surprise (and horror), I was in said manuscript, and so was my "adorably small penis".
Bob_Underdunk: The misogyny is strong in this comment section
RealityLivesNow: It's a misandrist fiction story.
There's nothing wrong with calling it what it is.
Corintio22: How is it misandrist?
I agree this comment section is wild.
RealityLivesNow: The idea that "small penis shaming is ok but big loose vagina shamimg is not ok" is one of the most common forms of misandrist hypocrisy around. And the influence of all that anti-male propaganda in the media is quite obvious in this thread.
Caderino: Big loose vaginas don’t exist, that is why people take issue with it, not because of misandry, not because of double standards, but because it is a myth.
RealityLivesNow: I already covered vagina size distributions among the general population here many times. Vaginas vary in size from person to person in every dimension just like everything else does. Including width/tightness/looseness during arousal.
Vagina size is not a myth. Some fully aroused vaginas are naturally smaller and tighter while others are naturally larger and looser.
Vaginas are not "all the same size". The dimensions and shape of the human vagina are of great importance in medicine and surgery. And the tendency of many people to have an issue with mentions of vagina size but not penis size is absolutely due to normalized sexist double standards. That is as obvious as could be.
Caderino: *I know that vaginas are not all the same size* I know that they vary from person to person. The fact is that vagina width starts off smaller than the average size of a penis width, and they expand and stretch around that during penetration.
RealityLivesNow: If nothing else people should know that vagina size varies too and references to vagina size should be seen no differently than references to penis size. Otherwise it's nothing but hypocrisy.
Caderino: Vagina size varies. Not enough to make it feel loose to anyone. Saying someone has a loose vagina is stupid because vaginas don’t feel loose. Saying someone has a small penis at least makes sense if they have a small penis. You can say someone has a larger vaginal opening than average but it doesn’t make it loose.
RealityLivesNow: It's semantics. "Loose" compared to another and "small" compared to another is the same exact thing: An opinion-based comparison. They are either both wrong or both right.
Caderino: Small is compared to the average size. You need something to compare it to. This is a factual thing that you can say; i.e “my vaginal canal is smaller than average”. What you can’t say is that their vagina is loose if it fits around a penis. That doesn’t make sense, and it actually doesn’t correlate to size.
RealityLivesNow: The idea that you "can't" make comparative size/tightness references about vaginas but you "can" to that with penises is just based on common hypocrisy. There is no logical consistency to that.
Caderino: Are you being dense on purpose? My comment literally says you can make comparisons with both. What I am saying is it makes no sense to call a vagina that fits around a penis “loose”.
RealityLivesNow: I'm just saying the same standards should apply to both genders. If you agree with that then we're on the same page. If not then we are not on the same page.
Caderino: I do agree with the fact that you can say a vagina is larger than average, as you can say a penis is larger than average.
This is why you can call a penis small.
Saying a vagina is larger, which is fine, is not the same as saying that it is loose. You need to find a new descriptive word because what you are saying is incorrect.
RealityLivesNow: Loose Definition
Merriam Webster Definition
loose
adjective
1d : not tight-fitting // loose clothing
3a : not dense, close, or compact in structure or arrangement // loose soil
5a : not tightly drawn or stretched : SLACK // a loose belt
Loose is not an "illegal word". It is a comparative adjective exactly the same as the word "small". The idea that any adjectives can be applied to penises but equivalent adjectives can't be applied to vaginas is just based on hypocrisy.
Caderino: If a vagina fits around a penis. Which they do as they stretch to accomodate the penis. It is touching all sides of said penis. This means that it is: not loose. This works with the definition. Bigger does not = loose. It might be looser or tighter by comparison. But it is not *loose* if the penis snugly fits in the vagina because the vagina has expanded to fit it inside.
I did not say it was an illegal word, but I suggest finding a new one because using it makes you look like a woman hating person with no experience being around vaginas in their life. All you are doing is trying to provoke people and it is really, really sad. I suggest you get therapy, honestly.
RealityLivesNow: Why don't you apply the same logic to people calling penises small?
Small penis shaming language is one of the most common and predictable forms of misandrist hypocrisy around. It is man-hatred openly visible at all levels of mainstream entertainment in ways that are almost completely forbidden towards women in the exact same media sources. The hypocrisy is truly insane.
I understand that many women recognize that the word "loose" applied to vaginas is the exact equivalent to the word "small" being applied to penises and that they don't like it. But there doesn't seem to be the same attempt to forbid the word "small" towards male genitals that there is to forbid the word "loose" towards female genitals. Even though they are both just comparative adjectives only differing in which gender they are typically applied to.
I not trying to provoke anything. I'm speaking against widespread normalized hypocrisy. Nothing more.
Caderino: If you have an issue with small penis language, make noise about small penis language. Don’t turn that annoyance at penis-shaming culture into anger at women. Don’t try to make them feel bad about their bodies. Don’t perpetuate a stupid stereotype about loose woman because it makes you feel better about people making jokes. What you are doing is not helping anybody.
RealityLivesNow: There should be consistency instead of hypocrisy.
That's all I'm saying.
The same logic should be applied to all genders whatever that "logic" may be.
Caderino: How about nobody puts down others based on the genital that they were born with? You should stand up against people shaming genitals, not participate in it if it makes you upset.
RealityLivesNow: That would be great.
If mainstream media someday adopted some kind of consistent gender equal policy on this it would surely be beneficial to everyone.
Caderino: Great! So if that’s what you would like, why are you making jokes like “an organ is a small instrument in a cathedral” when you know that it perpetuates a negative stereotype about women and their genitals?
*be the fricken change you want to see in the world*
RealityLivesNow: Mainstream media is absolutely loaded with the idea that
"Good men have giant genitals but bad evil men have medium or small genitals."
And every sort of anti-male genital hypocrisy reference imaginable. Present in every other tv show, movie, song, magazine, and popular online entity around. Yet none of the equivalents are normally "allowed" with genders reversed. And nobody is even "allowed" to talk about that hypocrisy.
It's pretty easy to be critical of someone making a point about hypocrisy when that hypocrisy is so widely common that it's about as normal as seeing grass when you look outside. It's much harder to stand against hypocrisy when it's the equivalent of charging a tsunami with a sword and shield like it is with normalized misandry.
Caderino: You are being wilfully ignorant to claim that the reverse doesn’t happen just as often in mainstream media.
It has been “allowed” since media began. I think something you might not realise too, is that most small dick jokes originated from other men. That’s what toxic masculinity is. Women didn’t start these jokes.
So… you think the solution to hypocrisy is being a hypocrite? And you think that you’re a hero for belittling women and making jokes about them that you know hurt you when they’re made about you? Geez.
RealityLivesNow: Mainstream media does not normally allow the same sort of comments with genders reversed. Which is a pattern easily visible in the media on nearly all genital related subjects and beyond. If you find an exception it is extremely rare. And that is not easy to do.
Caderino: It does. And it’s not rare.
RealityLivesNow: The censorship boards would eliminate an "evil woman with a big vagina" comment insinuation from a movie faster than a tornado would take a kite to the stratosphere. Same with anything else truly comparable towards women. That's why it's so completely hypocritical with practically anything genital related in the media.
Caderino: No they wouldn’t, I’ve seen it in many films
RealityLivesNow: Any chance you could give an example or two?
I've tried to find such things in mainstream movies and tv to see if it is ever allowed. It's extremely difficult to find any true comparables towards women that have been allowed in mainstream movies and tv.
-Living-Dead-Girl-: you need therapy
| 32 | 1,204.28125 | |
1660557956 | 1660600931 | t3_wovree | t5_2to41 | 301 | tdsa123: TIFU by closing an ebay auction early
I was selling a 2ds (no games) on ebay because I wanted to get rid of it and CEX wouldn't take it. Yesterday I did an auction with a starting bid of about £20 and after a while I did get a few bids offering 30 and stuff.
This morning I got an email asking how much it was. The lady was claiming that her daughter wanted to buy it with her birthday money. I didn't really know how to answer the question and anxiety started to kick in also I just wanted to end the whole process, so I accepted the highest offer at the time.
I kinda feel like a jerk now and am worried I disappointed someone. Now I don't know how to respond.
I understand this sounds strange or dumb but TBH I just needed to get this off my chest so I can focus on some work stuff so thanks for listening.
TL;DR I sold a thing on ebay but ended the auction early because I'm too much of a coward to answer a question.
AZymph: The high bidder at that time was probably ecstatic being able to buy it without having to watch for sniping the rest of the auction, no FU here no worries.
WhichWayzUp: The last-minute ebay sniping makes me furious. People are awful. Yeah I haven't touched eBay since 2005
M1ghty_boy: If you can’t beat em, join em.
That’s what I’ve unfortunately had to do
WhichWayzUp: I'll never forget a Columbia brand winter coat I wanted to buy for my toddler as we were about to move to North Dakota, super cold winters there, I had the highest bid and everything looked good
then I came back to find someone had sniped it from me. I was absolutely devastated.
The only thing left I could find in a pinch was some other Columbia high-quality comfy but ugly-permanently-dirty yellow coat (I hate the color yellow) and my first child wore that through a couple winters and then my second child wore it, it showed up in so many family photos, the kids are precious & adorable but that damn coat, ugh.
BinLazy: They’re not greedy or heartless, they just know how to use the tools available to them. They paid more than you were prepared to.
WhichWayzUp: I had the highest bid and I would've gone higher if necessary but the sniper sneaked in right at the last second. God forbid I walk to the kitchen for a second and come back only to discover someone sniped in. Yes almost 20 years later it still makes my heart rate rise I am certain no one needed that coat more than I did, extremely tight budget, moving with a baby -30° F winter. Most eBay people go in there just to buy cheap stuff and resell it for higher price. I hate that. I go in there when I genuinely need something.
Stetzj18: Like a previous comment said this is why you also put in the highest you're willing to pay. It's an auction not a shop. There are many cool things I have found at second hand thrift stores did you try those?
No_Love_1353: Got the feeling that socialists don’t understand auctions at all.
TrickyLG: If you were in an actual auction house, and had to leave before the end, wouldn't you leave your highest bid with the auctioneer?
| 10 | 30.1 | |
1660559279 | 1660559964 | t3_wow4p2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Gullible-Swimmer6430: TIFU by breaking my finger on the left foot.
EDIT: My toe is broken, not finger.
I apologize upfront for my english, it's not my first language.
Actually it happened yesterday.
We are on a hiking trip through Tatry and Maly Fatra (Poland, Slovakia, Czechia). I am on 2 week vacation with my family (wife and 2 kids). Yesterday we stayed in hiker camping site and they have a lot of playgrounds, including urban footbal field (soccer field). I saw kids playing there. Decided to join them. Wife said be careful, I said I'll be fine playing barefoot. As I should expect with kids playing, they would kick the legs and that exactly what happened. One of them struck my foot and breaking my toe and crooking it. It was 09:00 pm when it happened. So I assumed that nothing would work for medical assistance at that time and we were in the mountains.
Today I woke up from huge pain in my foot. Looked at it and saw that the broken toe turned a bit blue at the base of it and is swollen. I said to my wife that we need to go to the hospital seeking help.
Now I am in the Slovakian hospital waiting for assistance in the middle of my vacation.
I am feeling guilty that I ruined holidays my wife was waiting for a year. She is saying that it is ok. After treatment we are going back north on 16 hour drive.
TL;DR TIFU by breaking my toe on my left foot. Decided to play football with locals in the middle of my vacation, barefoot. Resulting in injury and ending my vacation sooner than expected.
Browndog888: Thinking you broke your toe, not your finger.
Gullible-Swimmer6430: Yes, im stupid 😅
Browndog888: Not at all. They both hurt the same when you break them.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1660563191 | 1660577237 | t3_woxacv | t5_2to41 | 81 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my boyfriend he should be more grateful for his parents
[deleted]
BernItToAsh: This isn’t your fault, but, you also simply cannot know whether or not a person’s parents are awful when you’re not there. More about manners than a true fuckup, but you very possibly could be triggering real trauma.
Jolly-Jelly-5766: we grew up together, im 100% positive his parents are amazing or else i wouldn’t have said anything! he just likes being home so them even taking him on this trip was annoying to him.
TheYungWaggy: Ultimately, your relationship with his parents is not *his.* Nor is your relationship with your own family a factor in how he feels towards his own.
And whilst it's rough that you haven't had the best familial relationships growing up, that doesn't mean that he can't get annoyed by his own family. That's what families do, actually; they annoy each other.
It reads, to me, like you *are* invalidating his feelings because of your past trauma. Unfortunately, though, real life doesn't work that way - just because you've "had it worse" it doesn't mean that he can't have gripes, and if you want to be in a relationship with someone you need to realise that.
Hell, my parents were (physically & emotionally) abusive to me growing up, and my girlfriend has a very positive & open relationship with hers... but I still accept that her family can be annoying to her. I don't tell her she "can't complain" because I got the shit beaten out of me when I was a kid... that's just insane.
You are supposed to be a team. You are supposed to help each other with your issues, not whatever is going on here. He came to you with an issue, and you told him he's better off just keeping it quiet?
Like, if you have cancer and I break my leg... breaking the leg still hurts. I can still complain that I am in pain, even if you are in "worse" pain.
It's genuinely cringe how many "nice guys" there are here saying you should break up with someone, judging his entire character, over one isolated incident (where we've only heard one side). Le reddite moment.
Virtura: By this post he has spent a week on vacation with his parents and spent the time communicating with his gf, who has neither stable parents nor vacations, complaining about it.
One isolated incident or not, he's an immature brat with no consideration to how his gf might be feeling as he tirades against whatever tortures he endures on holiday.
TheYungWaggy: Ok, again; you don't actually *know* the relationship he has with his parents. You don't know *what* he's complained about. You are, again, basing this judgement of a stranger's entire character on a 1-sided, 200-word, reddit post that doesn't actually mention specifics. It doesn't exactly speak wonders for your own character that you are so quick to judge, matey.
Maybe they've been having really loud sex every night; maybe they've been getting hammered and keeping him up, or waking him up at the crack of sparrows; maybe they've been inconsiderate in some other way. All are valid reasons to complain... although, it doesn't really matter, and we don't actually know.
But, ultimately, just because they are on vacation together, it doesn't mean that they can't be irritating?
And, again - one person's lack, especially if you are in a *mature, adult relationship* \- should not mean that the other cannot honestly express their feelings.
If that's the case, then OP isn't ready for a relationship - because people *do* argue with, and get annoyed at their parents, and being able to speak to your partner about what's bothering you is a crucial part of any healthy relationship.
Whereas, in regards to the OP - well, we have seen firsthand that they are immature. If they were a functioning adult, then they wouldn't have posted this on reddit for validation... I've never felt the need to ask internet strangers to weigh in on my arguments with my partner...
Virtura: It seems to me that your assumption is that the whole week that he has been complaining she has not been attempting to be sympathetic, your post reads as if she snapped at him day 1 and she has been invalidating his feelings this whole time.
Her post reads like its been emotionally exhausting for her to hear how terrible a time he is having, on vacation, in another country, with his parents.
It seems as if they are teenagers, 16 or 17, whereas your posts I would guess make you mid 30s. The difference in emotional healing between your experiences and hers are probably decades if I am correct in my assumption.
Lastly; "one person's lack, especially if you are in a mature, adult relationship - should not mean that the other cannot honestly express their feelings" except for hers, right? Because she was wrong for being upset and emotionally worn down?
TheYungWaggy: I'm trying not to make any assumptions, as far as possible, which is why I'm not casting aspersions over people I haven't interacted with.
We can only know what's in front of us - i.e. the words that OP has written. We can't know how valid they necessarily are, because OP is a stranger & this is the internet, but we can know the intent of the post - which is to garner sympathy and validation for a fight with their partner.
I mean, it seems a bit hypocritical to me that you are claiming "Well, she's only young! she doesnt know any better!" after calling her partner an immature brat 3 times over? If she's "just a kid" then so is he?
I'm mid 20s, but yes, point taken to some degree. A decade can make all the difference with regard to this stuff, sure, and it's already a minefield even if you are more emotionally mature. And, of course, the degrees of trauma can vary; hell, I know that even though my folks were bad to me I could've had it a lot worse. I rarely went without food, or didn't go to school, or whatever.
However, *being immature* (in age) doesn't mean that acting immaturely is *okay,* or that we should accept/encourage it.
Regarding the last point; the difference is that she *is* trying to shut down his conversation. From what's been said, he has accepted that she has trauma, and that she's had a rough go of life, but stated that he still has his own issues.
He hasn't said "You can't express that opinion!" but *she has.* This is like the tolerance paradox; "You can't have an opinion or express your feelings" is not an opinion that is protected, because it infringes on the other person's ability to express *their* opinion.
No-one has said she was "wrong for being upset and emotionally worn down"; but it emphatically *is wrong* to tell someone that they aren't allowed to express how they feel.
GLDFLCN: How about reading carefully next time before you go on a tirade and write an essay based on assumptions and misinterpretations. She never told her bf he couldn’t express himself.
TheYungWaggy: Try reading, yourself, mate. I've just commented on what's been said.
To go back to an earlier analogy, if you broke your leg and came to me complaining, and I am currently a cancer sufferer, does it mean I get to tell you "Oh come off it, you've only broken your leg! There are people out there who are in far much more pain"?
No, of course not.
Also, relevant comment from a guy with anime tits as his profile pic
GLDFLCN: What does my profile banner have to do with this topic though? Trust me, I’ve read everything you’ve been saying “mate”.
Mr. “It doesn’t exactly speak wonders for your own character that you are so quick to judge” Waggy
What are you trying to accomplish with that comment about anime?
Furthermore, repeating your poor analogy doesn’t fix anything because that’s not what the op did. She never told someone they couldn’t complain because they don’t have the same experience. But I’ll respond anyway, cause why not right? Let’s say I did go to the hospital in your scenario and a cancer patient saw I was being dramatic about a broken leg. If they said to me “hey I know it hurts but be lucky you don’t have cancer”, or something along those lines, I’d say, “you know what you’re right.” No bruised ego, nothing. I’m not that sensitive. They’re acknowledging my situation but they’re reminding me that it’s not the end of the world.
| 11 | 7.363636 | |
1660563599 | 1660568240 | t3_woxetf | t5_2to41 | 50 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting a tin of Vaseline in my vagina for 5 days
[deleted]
177215: This is just reminding me of a cards against humanity card called "the hot dod u shoved up my vagina 3 days ago"
177215: *the hot dog I
uglybudder: The I dog hot
177215: The I got shot
| 5 | 10 | |
1660567943 | 1660613124 | t3_woyx2n | t5_2to41 | 13 | RedLovelyRed: tifu by having dogs that are arseholes
So both of these events happened last week. TLDR at the bottom.
Some background, I have 2 dogs, both rescues. Brice is 8 and we've had him for 5 years and Onix is like 1ish and we got him in October last year. Brice has bad separation anxiety and gets locked in the bathroom bc he had a bad habit of pooping in the basement, even if I was only gone for 10/15 minutes. Since we got onix, we kennel the pup and keep the old man out (usual in the same bathroom and he hasn't pooped since) now we had my little sister in law move in till she goes back to college to my partner's clothes are now in that bathroom so onix is kenneled in the kitchen and brice is left out. He has slowly started to act out again and I should have taken his warnings seriously.
Last week I left the dog for maybe 30 minutes and then waited to get started on my chores (fu #1) I finally went down to the basement and saw that some of my boxes were knocked on the floor, wtf I think to myself. These boxes aren't light, one of them is literally full of rocks so I know I would have heard them fall if I was home. I step on the floor to start picking everything up and realize there's about 2 inches of water on the floor. Fuck, the drain is backing up. The top box has all my family and baby photos in it...
Now I'm 99% sure this is how it went down: brice, upset at being left alone, decided to go take a rage shit in my basement, ran full speed down the stairs, hits the water (he HATES water) scares himself, turns tail as fast as possible and knocks the boxes over.
I go back upstairs and start making room on my kitchen table for my pictures to be laid out so I can dry them. (Fu #2) in my haste I wasn't paying attention to the shelf I was putting things on, I shook the shelf *just* enough to knock over a glass jar and it lands on my pinky toe, breaking it. (Starts to swell and turned a nice purple later that day)
All pictures were saved and it could have been a lot worse. Turns out it was the sump pump. I had our buddy who is a plumber come by before he went to work to change it and I was taking pictures of him the whole time but my biggest regret was not getting him on video testing the new pump. (Fu #3) he plugs in the new one, it immediately disconnected itself from the pipe and sprayed him in the face with about 2 gallons of water and I stood there laughing hysterically until he unplugged it. And I had to clean all that water up too.
Now the second event: FIL just got a new house with a double lot, fenced yard. We went to go check out the place and brought the dogs. FIL says, just leave the door to the garage and the door to the back open and they can run in and out as they please. I'm like sure, why not. Seems reasonable, its nice out he doesn't have the AC on.
Later I go out to check on the dogs and see brice all the way in the back eating grass, damn cow, I tell him to stop and he comes running. "Why do I only have one dog?" I ask brice. I start yelling for onix, whistling, clapping etc, like a goddamn crazy person. No dog. Well the door has been open maybe he is inside laying on the bed, I walk through the house, still no fkin dog. FIL and my partner come outside with me. I tell my partner to bring the squeaky ball so he does. We're all 3 outside yelling, whistling, squeaking the ball. FINALLY Onix comes running from some bushes behind the shed. And when I tell you I was so mad bc I was standing RIGHT there yelling and he didn't even move or rustle the bushes at all. I was trying to figure out how a dog that struggles to get on the couch hopped a 4ft fence. (He had extremely weak back legs when we got him and he still struggles sometimes)
I'm so relieved I didn't lose my dog that I haven't even had for a year yet. That floppy faced bastard scared the hell out of me.
TLDR: dog #1 inadvertently broke my toe by trying to shit in my flooded basement, dog #2 decided to play hide and seek and almost won making me think I lost him.
177215: How is your toe my dude. Shit must've hit the fan hard that day
RedLovelyRed: Toe is okay, keeping it wrapped and ice and ibuprofen. It hurts and then it doesn't. Everything could have been a lot worse honestly, it could have been sewer water, my pictures could have ruined and it could have been my big toe or a finger lol.
177215: Yeah. Least that glass jar didn't shred your leg or some other shit
RedLovelyRed: Seriously! My toe broke its fall so it didn't break. I think I'd rather have a broken pinky toe than glass everywhere
177215: I hope your day is doing real better now because someone good must have made up for that
RedLovelyRed: Seeing my friend spayed in the face helped. Even though I felt bad for not helping him. And knowing both dogs are safe makes it all better too
177215: Yeah, loosing a new dog would've been like the cherry on the shitcake that was your day. That dog is wierd as hell for just silently waiting in the bushes
RedLovelyRed: Idk if he fell asleep, or thought it was a game then realized with the increased panic in my voice that he did something bad and didn't want to come out and face it, or what 💀
177215: I guess it's just dogs being dogs
| 10 | 1.3 | |
1660567424 | 1660577798 | t3_woyqm9 | t5_2to41 | 56 | 2bfexx: TIFU by sitting on a spider while masturbating
I swear I just can't anymore with these bastards!!!
This just happened right now. Got a new sex toy delivered today and was crazy to try it out. So I laid in my bed and made myself comfy, and as I was just getting into it something suddenly pinched my ass. I freaked out and slapped the shit out of the mattress, and some black bug came flewn out and landed on the bedside. Went down and inspected it closer just to find out it was some nasty ass motherf*cking SPIDER that I apparently suffocated with my butt!!! And I swear it bit me, as the site is still burning slightly. Yeah, do I have to mention I am arachnophobic?? My heart rate is still over 200, so please forgive me any language errors I can't still even think clearly. Man I'm nearly crying, just let me die already...
Here's a pic of the spider slowly dying next to some lube, which I'll probably never need again as I'm going celibate for the rest of my life: https://imgur.com/a/PrtClY5
*edit: Finally went to get it with the vacuum cleaner, and that lil POS disappeared somewhere, surely hiding in my bed again. I can't do this shit anymore!!
*edit2: Spood still missing, so I ended up vacuuming half of my room like crazy. Had me calm down some at least, and my ass is also fine again. Bf came home and guessed it's probably some wolf spider.
*edit3: Ugh, when looking at the photo it seems the spider may have lost one leg somewhere in my sheets which grosses me out ... damnit, now I feel like changing them as well!! Guess my week is already ruined. :p
TL;DR Was sitting on a spider while flicking the bean and it bit me in the ass.
miikaachuu_: Spectacular or Amazing?
2bfexx: Didn't ask the spider but probably neither of us liked it
miikaachuu_: It was a Spider-Man reference
2bfexx: Oh man totally missed that! Wish it'd been Spiderman at least tbh
| 5 | 11.2 | |
1660569519 | 1660589726 | t3_wozhjk | t5_2to41 | 106 | Am_HumanBeing: TIFU by kissing my kitten
Obligatory this just happened
I recently adopted two kittens and took them to the vet today for their vaccinations.
While there, I asked the vet if they had something for fleas as I’d found some crawling around, and he obliged by applying some dropper medicine. They were so well behaved despite being afraid and I was very proud of them, so when we got home I immediately fed them and gave them words of encouragement.
The smaller of the two came up to me and I couldn’t resist, so I gave him a quick kiss on the back of his head… right where the vet had applied the medicine.
The first thing that hit me was a bad taste, a ‘you shouldn’t have done that’ taste, and my mouth started tingling intensely and feeling cold
In a panic I ran to the kitchen, grabbed what I thought was the soap bottle because of its yellow contents, and squeezed soap into my hand to rinse my mouth.
It wasn’t soap. It was, courtesy of my asian household, cooking oil repackaged.
My adrenaline brain then kicked into action with some very sound logic: “If the oil is in the soap bottle, then the soap is in the oil bottle!”
Ignoring the green dish soap right within arms reach, with drool running down my chin and oil coating my hands and everything I touched, I opened the cupboard and searched for our cooking oil bottle before realizing that what was in there was still just oil as well.
Dismayed, I spat on the floor, and ran to the bathroom to finally rinse this stuff out with whatever I found there. I could have spit into the kitchen sink. I could have used the green dish soap. I do not know why I didn't do either.
My mouth is fine now and the kitties are asleep, I just have a huge mess to clean up, and am stuck with the sad realization that I’ll be no good during times of emergency.
TLDR: I kissed my kitten where the vet had applied anti-flea medicine, it made my mouth numb-ish and I panicked, used oil as soap and made a big mess trying to fix my mistake, and now have a big mess to clean up.
Illustrious_Side5085: Why the hell do you store oil in a soap bottle?
Am_HumanBeing: why is there a plastic bag full of plastic bags? why is there frozen fish in the ice cream tub?
Strange, strange laws of an Asian household
pnksnchz: Fish in the ice cream tub 😭 lmao that was my childhood.
Though we keep our oil in mayo squeeze bottles instead lol
| 4 | 26.5 | |
1660570278 | 1660586832 | t3_wozrk8 | t5_2to41 | 1 | PROTTON_was_taken: TIFU: By pirate copying on my school laptop
So, my school has this system where we get a computer to use for free, if we follow a few rules such as,
do not destroy the computer (we will have to pay for a new one).
And some other rules, of which I don’t remember. Now sometimes we have to go switch it out or get it fixed if anything happens, that makes us unable to use it for our homework or schoolwork.
Now me and a few friends knew this, but we were kinda bored in class (My grades aren’t bad, I am one of the most active in class, and they weren’t affected by me playing). We saw that you could download these free Nintendo Roms and other files/softwares/games, for emulating and playing.
(These games aren’t even being sold anymore, so the only thing making it sorta illegal, is that they are locked behind patents and trademarks)
So, we just started downloading a bunch of different stuff and it seemed fine.
Whenever we had to get our computers switched, we scrambled the copied files and then, went to the tech-guy on our school.
Today I forgot about that…
My computer got logged off the internet and I couldn’t get it back on (common, but for some reason not easy to fix glitch our computers had). now at first it was okay, I could still play Mario lol. But, I couldn’t receive any messages of homework or anything from my teachers. I told my teacher and she told me to go ask the tech-guy.
I removed anything suspicious on my desktop and closed Mario. Then, I went to his office and at first he just checked the basics and told me to try logon again. Now since it didn’t work, we had to restart the pc.
First thing that pops up is Discord and internet download manager telling me it needs a new serial number.
He closes it and doesn’t say anything, whilst I a bit to hesitantly and scared say “just close the applications”.
Now he doesn’t actually comment on any of that, but he also searches for different applications where Citra and possibly Simpsons: Hit and Run, might have popped up. Luckily he doesn’t comment on any of it, whilst I am just thinking about how to stop him from helping me.
He then asks if I shouldn’t just be fine with getting a new one, since I shouldn’t have any private stuff on it anyway. Now
I just say yes, as there isn’t much else to do. I ask him if they reset it through the standard windows inbuilt function. And he answers no, and that it should be done through my communes program, since it is easier to use and pre-downloads certain programs we need on our school.
Now all of this stressed me out, so I even forgot to ask him, if I could get a new cable for the new computer. Since my previous cable was lost and possibly stolen, which means I am using my dads cable for charging right now, and he is mad at me for not asking for a new one.
So, idk if my schools is going to call my parents and tell them I am pirate copying
a few games, or if I am lucky off. Anyway my parents will probably be annoyed, I didn’t ask for a new cable. It was just to embarrassing, in some sense.
TL;DR:
I got a new computer on my school, since the other one didn’t work, now my school may contact my parents for noticing my pirated games. Anyways my parents will be mad at me for not getting a new charger cable for the new computer.
thesnapening: Buddy I would start praying.
Nintendo are NOTORIOUS when it comes to copyrights they've sued quite a few people.
PROTTON_was_taken: I haven’t even thought of that.
But since I am only a consumer and not a ‘dealer’ I think I should be fine, but yeah hopefully it is okay.
thesnapening: Fingers crossed but roms are still illegal and nintendo have taken legal action before.
| 4 | 0.25 | |
1660567513 | 1660621901 | t3_woyrp5 | t5_2to41 | 15 | baconsingh: TIFU by giving myself tinnitus
So this happened last Wednesday and I’m still very angry at myself.
I was in Budapest last week on vacation and I saw that lamb of god was playing. Being a fan of theirs for years I saw if tickets were available, and they were. So I bought a ticket and went.
Now, I’ve heard advice in the past that you should wear ear protection at concerts, but I totally skipped this part when I went to the concert.
I had front most standing. Great show, not going to lie, but after I got home, my left ear felt very heavy and had a ringing in it.
I’m not a huge concert goer but in the past the ringing has subsided in a few days. However, almost a week later, it’s still ringing in my left ear.
I hate myself, and I feel like I’ve destroyed my life over something very trivial.
I got back home to canada on Saturday, and I’m going to see my family doctor later today to see if I can get an ENT or audiologist appointment, because truthfully, I’d rather kill myself than live like this.
Tldr went to a concert but didn’t wear ear plugs, got tinnitus, hate my life now.
RedemptionXCII: I went to an ac/dc concert eith my dad in Toronto a few years back and stood right at the stage beside a HUGE speaker and amazingly never had my ears ring. Great concert.
Last year however, I had impacted wax and it made my ear ring like CRAZY for almost a week and a half. It went away eventually but fuck I wanted to jump off a bridge.
baconsingh: Damn that really sucks :( how did you find out it was impacted wax? Did you go to an ent for it?
RedemptionXCII: At rhe time my doc wasn't seeing people because of the 4th or 5th covid wave. They were doing triage over the phone. Told them I couldn't hear very well on one side for a while, then at all really after that came the pain.
In all honesty they assumed it was impacted wax, so I was told to put olive oil in my ear in the meantime until they could take me in. After a week it went away on its own, so I guess the wax had moved or fell out which is what they said could happen anyways.
baconsingh: Update, been to the doctor today and she told me that my ear drums are fine and there’s no rupture. The tempanic membrane on the left, which is where I had more ringing, is stuck to the inner ear, and I have wax build up in my right ear.
She asked me if my nose gets blocked/if I get stuffy nosed and I said yes (I get a very stuffed nose every morning, and have to clear it out at any cost in both nostrils).
She gave me a nasal spray to use 1 time for 10 days. She said that should help get the membrane unstuck and potentially stop the ringing.
She gave me ear drops too to put in my left ear but only for 2 days.
I was instructed to put few drops of oil into my right ear to loosen the wax.
I really really hope this gets better.
RedemptionXCII: Rest assured my friend at least you know it's nothing super serious. I hope everything she's given works out for you.
baconsingh: Fingers crossed!
| 7 | 2.142857 | |
1660572140 | 1660574944 | t3_wp0gzq | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a 14yo drive my car.
[deleted]
CamoTuxedo88: I hope you learned a lesson about what being a pushover can do to fuck up your life.
Learn to say “No” and really mean it. It’s a basic skill that’s necessary to keep you from being taken advantage of for the rest of your life.
Pleb-Society: Appreciate the truth friend, hopefully I can actually put this into practise
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1660572035 | 1660576321 | t3_wp0fh7 | t5_2to41 | 35 | _sahib: TIFU by looking at people's mouths while they talk
Obligatory this happened yesterday
So a little background, in the past few years i have noticed a strange but seemingly harmless habit of mine. Where during a conversation i keep looking at the person's mouth instead of their eyes while they are talking. It doesn't matter if they are a man or woman, randomly i would just start starting at their mouth for a bit
I usually look at them in the eyes when I'm the one who's talking but for some reason it's different the other way around
So yesterday i was reading a TIFU post where at a point a girl is discussing with her friend about a guy she likes and the friend asks the girl if the guy was looking at her lips during the conversation because if he did then it meant that he wanted to fuck her. And my realization kicked in...
though She did say her friend was just messing around, i still got a bit concerned and decided to do a google search
"what does it mean when a guy is looking at your mouth/lips while you are talking?"
and lo and behold, the following is the first result and it's NOT the only one:
"He is looking at your lips
If his gaze keeps slipping down to your lips while he's talking to you, it's a sign that he is admiring you, fantasising about you and might even want to start a stable, long-term relationship with you"
Well... FUCK
I can't begin to imagine how many women i creeped out in the 3-4 years that I've noticed this habit. I'm sure that i creeped out many guys as well with this but im more sad for the girls. I feel horrible but I'm guessing I'll stop doing it now lmao
TL;DR: realised a strange but seemingly harmless habit of mine of looking at people's mouths during conversations might be giving them the wrong impression
RedemptionXCII: I do the same thing, It helps me understand people better when I'm chatting with them. So screw what anyone else says.
You're better off to be staring at a person's mouth, rather than their chest anyways.
_sahib: That's kind, thanks for telling I'm not the only one :)
RedemptionXCII: No worries my friend.
| 4 | 8.75 | |
1660572633 | 1660623973 | t3_wp0nxt | t5_2to41 | 11 | guess_im_dumb: TIFU by innocently giving a guy my number after his mom died
So I was recently, yesterday, donating some blood. I get pretty anxious and my phone was almost dead so I was just staring around. I look around and the man I'm donating next to has a red face and tears as we make eyecontact. I am confused so I just smile a little and wave a little half wave with my available arm. One of the phlebotomist come over and offer some tissue and says "What's going on?" with a weird lighthearted voice. I thought this guy was just having some reaction or was exhausted or something, so I snickered thinking the phlebotomist and him are joking around. They seemed almost fimiliar. It didn't look like crying and more of eyes watering, like he was tired. Really. Another lady had come by previously and asked him to keep his eyes open. Made sense to me.
Come to find out....his mom had died and his little sister found the body. I felt HORRIBLE. I thought he was tired and I was laughing with a little pleasent smile - "oh his eyes are watering" and his f*cking mom was dead. All the phlebotomist were clearly thrown off too and some were joking with him or straight up walking past him and commenting stuff like "oh I don't want to get you crying." He had no comfort, so I thought I'd talk with him. He talks a bit but turns out he's a little hard of hearing. Oh yeah, I'm a 20 y/o female and he is probably like 45. He can't really hear me which I thought was ideal so then I could just listen and suport him that way because as soon as he was finished he had to go drive to the state over to attend to the whole situation. He was almost done and was clearly in a hurry so it seemed like the right thing to do to help in the time left.
Suddenly, he pulls out his phone mid-sentence while talking about his brother that JUST DIED a month ago. He says something like "Do you want to put your number in?" Now hear me out, I am socially naive I give you that, BUT WHO THE F*CK MAKES A MOVE AS THEY FIND OUT THEIR MOM DIED AND THEIR SISTER FOUND THE BODY A MONTH AFTER THEIR BROTHER DIED AND THAT SAME SISTER FOUND THAT BODY. I really thought nothing of it and I 100% thought it was so that we could converse and he understand me. I was shocked when after that the whole back and forth stopped. I was like "huh, why did he want my number." And then I started to fear every action I took.
He left and didn't text and I was comforted. I was feeling like I had understood everything well and now could rest easy knowing I helped a guy who's mom died :)
Then I woke up to him inviting me to "grab a bite" if I don't "have a man" when he gets back. Back from what...I'll remind you - A DEAD MOM. What do I even do? I'm not going to go and I never meant to give him like a sympathy flirt or anything. I'm just one human being trying to comfort another. Egg on my face I guess.
Like I told my dad, the only thing worse then being next to a stranger when they find out their mom died is having to turn down a stranger after their mom died 😔💔
Any advice? I haven't responded yet because I literally just got this message and am feeling a sorta numb regret. I realized now that I suppose I'm dumb 🙃. I still really don't compahead that this is what he thought was happening. I hate the world we live in where I can't try to support a fellow human being without it turning into some sort of odd mating ritual.
TL;DR While donating blood a strangers mom died and I wanted to be nice. He's hard of hearing and asked for my number - I thought innocently to talk right then and there. Woke up to a dinner invitation :,( How do you turn down someone who's mom JUST DIED??
Edit: I ended up just saying along the lines of "thank you but I'm actually seeing someone. I just thought you might need someone to talk to and I've been through something similar. It can be hard. Sorry if I gave the wrong impression." Thanks to everyone that gave advise and I then muted the conversation and most likely won't have the courage to check it for a while °~°
127peter: Me thinks you have an overactive imagination.
guess_im_dumb: How so?
127peter: Because it’s fictitious. I don’t believe you.
guess_im_dumb: Oh, I hear you. I'll pm you a screen shot. I don't know if it's overkill but I don't mind
127peter: Screenshot of what ?
guess_im_dumb: I sent it already, you should be able to see the pm
Apollyom: I'm confused why you didn't just imgur it, and post to the thread.
guess_im_dumb: I have no clue how to :/
Apollyom: i guess name checks out
guess_im_dumb: Lol yeah whatever :) I don't know if some ignorance about a random app common among redditors compares in importance to my level of incompetence in socializing normally and safely with others but yeah
Apollyom: a website that has existed for 13 years, to make it easy to share photos online, isn't just some common app among redditors, i used it long before i ever came to reddit.
guess_im_dumb: I don't socialize often rather on reddit or else where. Some are true hermits. I don't know about any of that stuff. Social media's and the like are too intimidating for me, but to each their own. I won't judge you based on my specific and limited set of reference points. Arbitrary and unnecessary.
| 13 | 0.846154 | |
1660574518 | 1660637689 | t3_wp1euj | t5_2to41 | 13,780 | [deleted]: Tifu by getting a boner during a wax
[removed]
johnstonjimmybimmy: I’ve heard the boner part during a wax is common and actually tightens the ball skin and makes it easier to get the hair off.
I don’t believe you gizzed though. But funny story.
Richard_Thickens: No. You gizz with your gizzard.
You jizz with your j̶ genitals.
almgergo: So is it pronounced gif or gif?
Richard_Thickens: It's supposed to be a "j" sound in .gif, like the peanut butter.
Edit: GILF (Grandmother I'd Like to Fuck) is the "g" sound.
APearce: *God himself* could tell me that and I would still fight him.
*Graphics Interchange Format*. The G is pronounced like the G in Graphics.
Richard_Thickens: Well, here's the thing. If the 'g' is followed by an i, e, or y, it generally makes a 'j' sound (eg: giraffe). If followed by a different letter, the 'g' sound applies. Of course, in English, there are always exceptions, like 'girl'.
However, the developer of the format, Steve Wilhite, has released a statement on the matter, confirming the former pronunciation. So, by both standards, the former pronunciation is preferred.
APearce: Except the G isn't followed by an I, it's followed by an R. Because it's the word "graphics".
Jif is a peanut butter. GIF is Graphics Interchange Format. I recognize that the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid ass decision, I have elected to ignore it.
Richard_Thickens: My point is that the acronym's pronunciation is dependent on the spelling of the acronym (which sound follows the 'g'), not the original word, or that would have been a very silly thing to point out.
Many acronyms have pronunciations that differ from the words that comprise them. Take 'ASAP' for example. Nobody pronounces it with the 'a' sound from the words that comprise it.
Edit: The. "JIF is a peanut butter," comment is wild. Homophones are words that share a pronunciation regardless of spelling, such as 'JIF' and 'gif'.
APearce: And what next? Is God going to lean down from Heaven and inform everyone that it's pronounced "Jod"? Where does it end? No, it's GIF. I recognize that both the rules of English and the creator say it should be Jif, but nobody follows the rules of English, especially not English speakers, and the creator doesn't get to drop that bomb years after people have been saying GIF.
Richard_Thickens: Addressing your first question here, no, "Jod," isn't accepted because the second letter is 'o' and there is no precedent to suggest otherwise. These days, we could probably agree that an even less common word, "elegy," might meet a similar fate in the mouths of those who hadn't heard it spoken aloud. "Los Angeles," naturalized from Spanish, makes use of the same sound for the same reason (despite whatever Pixies' Frank Black says).
| 11 | 1,252.727273 | |
1660574759 | 1660595372 | t3_wp1i4a | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by punching my date.
This happened last night so the embarrassment is fresh. I had been seeing a woman last summer, we had a nice time and were romantic etc but, She was moving away so we kept it casual. We kept in touch and two days ago she moved back. I went and picked her up and we went for dinner and drinks and back to my place to stay the night.
I have been a daily cannabis user for 10+ years but 22 days ago I quit THC (I have an app that tracks it). Since then I have had crazy dreams/nightmares every night. Last night I was having a dream that some guy was blowing weed smoke in my face at a party and I was furious. In my dream, I wound up and punched him as hard as I could in the face...Well it turns out my IRL self acted out the punch and from the sound and feel of it I threw a pretty sweet punch and it definitely connected. It's hard to explain but I sort of saw myself doing it half in a dream and half awake. The room was pitch black and I was convinced I had punched her right in the face. She woke up instantly and said, "OW WHAT THE HELL" I was mortified obviously and apologized profusely. It turns out I slugged her in the arm (thankfully I guess) I explained what happened and we laughed about it for a few minutes. She was 100% fine and took it like a champ but, damn if I've never felt so bad! We are going to see each other this week she only asked that I try not to punch her again, fair enough.
Ps, last week I had a dream I was being mauled by a Cujo-looking dog and I woke up flailing, thankfully I was alone. Weed is all fun and games until you try and quit.
TLDR; Had a crazy nightmare and dream-punched the shit out of my date's arm IRL.
Synn0289: I've read a few post about quiting weed and how it has effected people in odd ways.
I smoked for 20yrs strong. Past 5/6yrs I just dip my toes in it from time to time, mostly social gatherings. The only effect I ever had was trouble sleeping for the first couple days. Even after I stopped cold turkey after 20yrs.
[deleted]: It's not my first time quitting but, every time I get night sweats, insomnia, super irritability and nightmares etc. it sucks :(
Synn0289: Damn. Can't lie, glad I never experienced that.
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1660562337 | 1660635344 | t3_wox0tq | t5_2to41 | 21 | Frequent-Animator-21: TIFU not telling my roommate about my panic attacks and passing out in public on my second day of college
I (18F) just left home to move to college. To say it has been difficult would be an understatement. I miss my family, especially my little sister, and I miss my dog. My dad was the only person to help me move in because my sister has school and my mom is recovering from a recent surgery.
Move in went relatively smoothly, and I really lucked out on the roommate situation. My roommate is truly wonderful.
Even though my anxiety was super intense, I tried my best to attend all the welcome events offered during my first few days. It was super busy, but I got to know a lot of people and spent time with my roommate. It was fun, but towards the end of the night I started to feel a panic attack coming.
Now, my panic attacks (the really bad ones) consist of me either passing out or vomiting. I usually can get to a safe place and get on the floor before I lose consciousness, but not today. Of all fucking days.
On the way back to the room with my roommate after hanging out in one of the lounges with some new friends, I start to feel my anxiety rise in my chest. We get in the elevator and my ears start ringing. At this point I am unable to speak and my vision starts to get spotty. The only thought going through my mind is, “get
to the room and get on the floor"
Unfortunately, the minute I step out of the elevator I pass out. I’m blacked out for MAYBE 5 seconds, on the floor in front of the elevators. My roommate is saying my name and asking people around us for help (apparently, I wasn’t awake). There were TEN people in the lounge that watched me faint, 4 of which were the RAs. The first thing I hear when I come to is one of the RAs shouting “CALL 911!” The only thought going through my mind is, “holy shit I can’t afford an ambulance ride and it’s a total overreaction”
My roommate and one of the RAs help me to a chair, and the first thing I am able to say is “I need a trash can” because once I understood that they might call 911 and blow things out of proportion, I started to freak out.
The SECOND the bin is set in front of me I proceed the vomit absolutely everything in my system. At this time, all the students were kicked out of the room and there was only my roommate and the 4 RAs.
Once I vomit I am completely fine. My vision is back, I can talk, and my anxiety has subsided. For the next 20 minutes my roommate and I have to CONVINCE the RAs not to call 911. Finally, they decide to write an incident report instead of calling the paramedics.
To say I am MORTIFIED would be a gross understatement. Not only did I have to explain my crippling anxiety to 4 RAs (I am medicated and in therapy, so I’m working on it) BUT THERE WERE ALSO STUDENTS WHO SAW ME FAINT.
I finally was able to get back to the room, shower and sleep. It’s been 3 days since and I am still in complete and utter shock. Passing out and vomiting on the second day of college due to a panic attack is now my most embarrassing experience.
TL;DR failed to inform my roommate I was going to have a panic attack, therefore I freaked her out and everybody around me when I passed out and vomited.
zeaulo: Is there any cause to your panic attacks? Possibly check it out so that it doesn’t become an issue in the future.
Frequent-Animator-21: I have bad anxiety and depression. I’m getting help, the past week with move in was a little much for me though.
| 3 | 7 | |
1660576452 | 1660579112 | t3_wp25kv | t5_2to41 | 29 | Particular_Different: TIFU by having an anxiety attack at a party
On Saturday me, my girlfriend, and some freinds all went to a party. The party was for my girlfreinds best freind, so we had been really excited for it. I usually dont like parties, which I’ve told my gf numerous times, but i was actually really excited for this one. But as soon as i got there i was reminded of why i hated parties so much. The loud music, bright lights, feeling uncomfortable and just flat out bored. It was extremely overwhelming and i disliked it so much. I expected myself to dance with my girlfriend and be with her, but when we got there she had seen some friends she hadnt seen in a while and spent most of the time with them and her best friend. I completely understand that and she deserved to have fun and be with them, so i sucked it up. Cutting to the chase, hours go on and im getting more and more overwhelmed by everything at the party and stressed and i go out for a walk and begin crying. As soon as i get my composure back i go back inside and leave. My girlfriend thinks i was mad at her that she didnt spend time with me and wants to talk. She apparently got super mad and is extremely angry with me, and thinks im a dick when in all reality i had an anxiety attack. Now today were gonna talk and i feel our relationship is in jeopardy all because i had an anxiety attack.
TL;DR i had anxiety attack at party and my girlfriend thought i was being selfish, relationship in jeopardy.
scha07: Hey man you having an anxiety attack isnt something that you fucked up at all. I have anxiety but that isnt me fucking up. Thats a part of who you are and the people that are worth being in your life will understand that. You’d be surprised how much information about anxiety is out there now and how much more aware the public is about this. In my experience if you are open about it and just tell people hey i just need to step put and get a breath of fresh air, they wouldnt think twice about it. Ive told strangers i get a little anxious sometimes and youd be surprised how hard the general public will try and accommodate. People are typically good at heart if you let them in on whats going on.
Just know that you having anxiety isn’t a bad thing about you. You have to own and understand your body better and it will make things more clear
Particular_Different: Thank you i really appreciate it
scha07: Of course you arent alone out there so dont feel that way. I bet there were other people there probably feeling the same exact way too its just hard to tell when you get stuck in your head. Breathe in and exhale deep, count to ten in your head and it will usually calm your heart rate
| 4 | 7.25 | |
1660579964 | 1660808074 | t3_wp3krp | t5_2to41 | 211 | MyCrowPeeNes: TIFU by smelling my son's hair.
My wife has a very low sex drive. She does not like being touched too much, she keeps a pillow between us most of the time. A few times a month she relents and we use a Magic Wand to get her to orgasm. I am not trying to complain here but she is just not super into it. A few times a year that all changes.
She will make plans that ensure there are no kids in the house, no deliveries scheduled and the pets are all put up. She will lay out sheets and pillows in the living room and melt a cup of coconut oil. She will put on porn where women get covered in oil "massaged" and then have anal sex and we do the same. It is all very exciting.
Over years the smell of coconut oil has become a HUGE turn on for me. As a middle aged man, not every erection is really solid, unless it happens to come from that scent. Especially when she smells it to and gives me a wink.
This weekend my son and his friends we playing with putty and got a bunch in my son's hair. My wife worked it our with coconut oil. He then took a shower and was supposed to wash his hair but cannot be trusted to do what is asked when it comes to cleaning himself so we smell his hair after showers. When I smelled his hair, that scent was super strong and my wife gave me a wink. Now I have an instant rock hard dick. I do not want this erection and am VERY uncomfortable with this situation. My wife knows exactly what is happening and can see my discomfort. She knows, and she says "OK honey, give Daddy a hug and get ready for bed." I love my son but I did not want to hug him right then. I feel super gross.
TLDR: Wife and I use coconut oil as part of our sex lives. I smelled my sons hair and got a rock hard erection and I feel gross.
gustofwindddance: Have you ever considered your wife is in the closet?
MyCrowPeeNes: We both know she can play with either team. It's not a secret and we are all happy with our choices.
gustofwindddance: Good!
If you don’t mind me asking has this affected the relationship negatively?
You mentioned that she “relents” when it comes to sex and that doesn’t sound like it would be pleasurable for either party.
MyCrowPeeNes: No real negatives, we get to share in talking about attractive women. She knows her body better than any straight woman I have ever been with.
When it comes to libido she just does not care about sex and does not feel a pull towards it. She knows I do and does not want to love with a "mopey zoo lion" so she makes time for me. Once things are moving she has a great time.
Everything is consentual, but she does have more sex than she wants and I have less than I want. Her lesbian friends got really hard for her to be around after we met so over time we stopped hanging out with them.
ravenwolfstar: What does the lesbian friends have to do with absolutely anything?
MyCrowPeeNes: I had typed out a lot more and deleted moat of it. I just failed to remove the last sentence.
| 7 | 30.142857 | |
1660581238 | 1660588437 | t3_wp44az | t5_2to41 | 301 | Best_Human_: TIFU by walking 2 miles to the Grocery Store in the scolding Sun
I don't have a car, so I normally get rides from my roommate, but today, since my roommate is at work, I decided to walk to the store since it was only 1 mile away.
BIG MISTAKE.
Walking to the store was no problem, there were some dangerous crossings and I kept getting swarmed by bugs, but I could handle it. I could feel the high frequency waves from the sun penetrate my skin, so I knew I would have a sunburn.
When I got to the store, I was a bit tired, but I bought I items I needed and left. I had 10 bags.
The moment I knew I messed up was when I left the store carrying my goods. The handles of the plastic bags were digging into my skin leaving red lines. My muscles were aching, and I had 1 more mile of this.
I slowly walked back to my house, the bags hitting my legs as I walked. I had to stop a few times to take a break.
When I finally got home, I dropped everything by the door, went in, and just laid on the couch. After a few minutes I got up and drank multiple cups of water in less than 1 minute. It was the best water I ever had.
TL;DR: I thought walking 2 miles to the store would be no problem, didn't realize I would have to carry my stuff on the way back.
krba201076: I don't have a car either. I either get my stuff delivered or get small amounts whenever I go out. I catch the bus.
Best_Human_: I wish there was a bus in my area.
krba201076: I am sorry. It sucks not having transportation.
| 4 | 75.25 | |
1660582969 | 1660586033 | t3_wp4upu | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by agreeing to polyamory and I’m pretty sure this is the end of my relationship
[deleted]
127peter: Who is they ?
anonymousenbee123: My partner uses they/them pronouns
| 3 | 1 | |
1660583644 | 1660585934 | t3_wp54wz | t5_2to41 | 13 | Iamcalledchris: TIFU By nearly cheated on my partner drunk but didn’t.
[removed]
jeffinRTP: A lot depends on your partner but nothing happened, I'm assuming, so someone tempted you, and you refused.
If your partner is not a jealous type you can point out that's a sign of your love for them.
If they are say nothing.
Iamcalledchris: To be honest matey I think I just feel kind of ashamed. Needed a place to voice it. Thanks for the feed back. Hope you have a lovely week.
jeffinRTP: Venting helps, even to strangers.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1660587729 | 1660636877 | t3_wp6ugw | t5_2to41 | 18,065 | djinn2552: TIFU by showing my girlfriend a TIFU post
Obligatory bit of backstory, my girlfriend and I both use Reddit quite a bit and browsing/sharing TIFU's has been quite a common occurrence for the last few weeks. This morning, I woke early and saw the top post, [TIFU reading a manuscript my ex gf wrote](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/wovplg/tifu_reading_a_manuscript_my_ex_gf_wrote/), and I personally thought it was pretty funny and wanted to share it with her.
This is where the first fuck up started. We generally tend to joke about anything, and I've never put jokes about dick size off limits. Now I'm not particularly packing very much heat, but I'd say average or slightly below average is a good estimate. I'll sometimes make some sort side comment about being on the smaller side, but all in good fun (obligatory disclaimer, we have a healthy relationship and active sex life, with very little insecurity). **However**, I decided today that it was a great idea to introduce her to this post with the context that I felt some camaraderie with "The Turtle". She laughed, we enjoyed the post, thought we were good.
It was most definitely not good. I decide to continue with our morning routine and try and get a little bit of morning action. Immediately after starting, she starts laughing, the type of laugh where you start tearing up. So much so that she has to run to the washroom in fear of peeing the bed. Now I'm standing here, dick in hand all confused and wondering what's happening. Well apparently, she can't stop thinking of my penis as a head of a turtle and is now incessantly and almost uncontrollably is running a bit where everything I do is now turtle related. Most notable mentions:
* "Let me wet my cove so the turtle can come back home"
* "Unsheathe your head from your shell"
* *While fucking:* "Turtle really knows how to move like the waves of the ocean"
* Moaning "Master Oogway" in my ear
* "Rub my clit like Oogway and his water droplet"
* *While in missionary:* "I feel like a beached turtle on their back as well"
All of this while still breaking down into laughter over and over. It's been 3 hours and sex is still unsuccessful.
**EDIT/UPDATE:** I showed my girlfriend this post and she's having a blast. We decided to do some experimentation... *for science of course*.. and I'm somewhat proud to say that I have now tried having sex while tied up with BDSM rope in the rough attempt to make a turtle shell on my back.
3/10 - worth trying, could be worse, probably never again.
TL;DR Showed my gf a TIFU post about comparing a small dick to a turtle, and now it's impossible to successfully have sex because she can't stop thinking about turtle sex analogies.
Edit: Had sex as a turtle.
pogiguy2020: Buy a damn turtle outfit and bang the crap out of her.
NorCalAthlete: TMNT / April roleplay. Problem solved.
PepijnLinden: Cowabunga it is
PlatonicMaleTouching: Cowabunghole?
wherethebicenroam: As long as pizza is involved.
Minister_of_XXX: Cheese that booty an eat ass while she chokes on some big garlic breadsticks
wherethebicenroam: I'll pass on the marinara this time.
Loyaso: Get the creamy garlic then.
HeadFullaZombie87: That may be a sign of yeast infection 😬
wherethebicenroam: At least it’ll have that bread smell
fade2black244: I'll take a side of ranch, please.
SlickHand: A fellow surf and turfer, eh...
| 13 | 1,389.615385 | |
1660589732 | 1660592026 | t3_wp7nzk | t5_2to41 | 6 | Understand101: TIFU liking an old post of my crush
[removed]
Fieldsoffilm: You can message her if you feel like you should explain yourself and to see how she feels about it. You have to be ok with the possibility of her ignoring you if she really wants you out of her life, though. If she does feel creeped out, your message will only add to it and that needs to be the last thing you send her. No follow ups. She will reply if she wants to continue the friendship.
Or you could just leave it be. The old saying goes, "if you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was meant to be". This way, she can hit you up if she wants or you will know where you stand if she doesn't.
Understand101: Thank you for your response, but I feel really hesitant sending her anything unless I make sure it's the right thing to do.
Fieldsoffilm: Was it an embarrassing pic to like? Like one in her swim suit or something?
Understand101: A selfie of her inside a car. Decently dressed up.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1660589501 | 1660591219 | t3_wp7kow | t5_2to41 | 0 | Tangelo_According: TIFU: idek how exactly, but I think i threw away my chances with a 10/10 girl.
I (17m) made convo today with a girl (17f) I met last week and…
Last week, we both happened to be doing abs in the studio section and our our foam mats were next to one another. So I leaned over and made a joke about the class that was going in front of us and how all the mothers and older ladies (and older men) were squatting down and giving us a great view.
To my surprise she packed up laughing. She seems nice, is good looking and of course has a great sense of humor.
Today I approached her at the end of my session and we greeted them she made a joke about whether I’m here to watch the old ladies in the studio classes again. We laughed and then I told her I had a proposal. If I could make her laugh/ smile she’d buy a smoothie and if she didn’t I’d buy her one. She agreed and I told the joke. I couldn’t tell if she was flirtingly laughing as she had her hand over her mouth or if she was doing it out of pity, as after I said “ha you smiled” and she smiled and said “nooo it wasn’t proper smiling” and what appeared to be a nervous/awkward walk away. As the class was starting and she needed to move out of the way.
So anyway, this turned more into me asking for opinions on whether she seems interested in me or not but yea.
Ladies what do you think? And How do you want guys to approach you.
TL;DR I approached a girl and can’t tell if she likes me or not so need advice. Also how do girls prefer men to approach them (if they don’t mind men doing so).
lilaluli: You could try to approach her again, maybe apologize in case you made her uncomfortable and ask if she would like to grab a smoothie anyway. Be honest, if she seems a bit unsure you could tell her you were a bit nervous or awkward because you found her attractive. Good luck! You can do this!
Tangelo_According: Thank you! It’s all probably worse in my head anyway ! Enjoy your life!
| 3 | 0 | |
1660590369 | 1660601855 | t3_wp7xle | t5_2to41 | 25 | No-Way-6986: TIFU bei being onest about my feelings
Literally, 2 hours ago I FU big time. 2 Months ago, I had a big fight wit my now Ex. It was all about a new car. Next day I had a big Summer Party and I connected with a coworker from another departament. Some time later, he asked me out. I was like, well I deserve a fun night, why not... FF today. We had a lot, and I mean A LOT of fun last month. We had plans for today, and he told me on last second he doesn't know if we can keep it. Shit happends, no worry, but after I waited all day long for an answer I got one at evening. Meanwihle, I had played some darts and I won like 3 out of 4 games (team games) and I had some shots without eating whole day. I was so drunk I wrote him he hurt me and I need some time out. Now, my head is more clear and I realised how much of a bitch I was, I want to take it all back or maybe to write it in some other form... well, I will say sorry tomorrow and I hope I will get another chance to clear the air and maybe talk about why I reacted so nuclear when it wasn't his or my fault for change of plans...
TLDR I blurtet my heart feelings when I was drunk and I messed up something nice.
[deleted]: I feel like a boomer reading these abbreviations and I am 20
Foxzomo: I thought ff meant forfeit
BanichanX: I still don't know what FF means ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
Fun_Use1160: Fast forward?
BanichanX: Then wouldn't it be "FF *to* today"?
No_Love_1353: People that use abbreviations try to cut out as much as possible…
| 7 | 3.571429 | |
1660594152 | 1660596442 | t3_wp9iay | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by grabbing a hot pan
[removed]
clarkology: smear butter all over the burns
negocpu4: Are you serious? That is like the worst possible thing you could do with a burn or any kind of wound, there's a 100% chance that shit will get infected.
clarkology: fine....crisco then
| 4 | 0 | |
1660594830 | 1660601060 | t3_wp9sjl | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by getting my Xbox accounts suspended
[deleted]
angusmccoy: Lol, best thing you could do is ignore it rather than stoop to a lower level and get played like that. People that send a shitty message should get a report not a reply
jreal6: Yeah ik I just really wanted to use the roast tho
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1660595102 | 1660667520 | t3_wp9wi5 | t5_2to41 | 5,023 | 1PUTTZ: TIFU by Being a Grown Ass Man on a Hotel Water Slide
We were vacationing and staying overnight at a mid-range hotel. I enjoy a good soak in a hot tub and maybe even a dip in the pool after to cool off so we chose a place that had both. What I didn't know is that attached to the pool was also a water slide!
As I enjoyed a nice soak, I watched kid after kid gleefully corkscrew down the slide and gracefully plop into the water like a duck jumping into a lake and swim off. I decided I wasn't leaving without at least one trip down the slide - so up I went. When I got to the top, it looked much higher than it appeared from ground level. But rather than doing the walk of shame back down, I sucked it up and went for it.
Aside from all the warnings about liability etc., there was a sign that said make sure the area is clear before you slide. So a quick check and it all looked good. I even did the luge boost to maximize my enjoyment. About half way down I realized I was going very, very fast. Like almost upside down in the tube fast.
When I hit the water, instead of plopping in gracefully like all the 50lb kids, I came rocketing out of the chute at maximum warp and skidded across the pool like a hydroplaning orca. Unfortunately I also I took out 3 unsuspecting kids in the process. When I finally got myself upright in the water, I made sure everyone was OK. Then I noticed the parents faces who were looking on, which can only be described as horrified, amazed and disappointed. I also managed to give myself an enema, an atomic wedgie and a chlorine nasal cleansing.
Needless to say, I quickly packed up my stuff and exited the pool area. Luckily we were checking out early the next morning.
TL;DR: A grown ass man uses the hotel water slide and underestimates the velocity at which it would eject him into the pool area. While skipping across the water, he takes out 3 unsuspecting kids in the process, much to the horror of the onlooking parents. Gets free enema.
Chocolate_poptart: Even as kids we all knew that once you are out of the slide you GTFO before the next person rocks into you.
NorCalAthlete: Yeah, that’s a painful lesson that you only fuck up once before learning it for life.
Cap_Designer: Or in this day and age, 10 or 12 times
ballrus_walsack: Helped along by head trauma
gyph256: And the head trauma.
Ryxor25: And the head trauma.
ballrus_walsack: But… why male models?
| 8 | 627.875 | |
1660602905 | 1660625610 | t3_wpd474 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by recovering my dad's sex tape from 15 years ago on an old handicam
I was feeling nostalgic and thought of checking out old photos. So I took out some old cameras. My dad in his prime (20 years ago) was fond of cameras. He had 3 handicams (we were too poor to afford even one at that time but he still managed to buy them). And I am not sure if they are actually called handicams, I just remember that my dad used to call them that.
So I found all 3 of those. They weren't working (batteries dead probably) so I took out their SD cards and plugged them into my laptop with a card reader. I also found one more sd card in their case.
All 4 of them were barely 8 GB in size.
I thought I would see at least 1000 files comprising of videos and photos from our Europe (Portugal, Spain and France) trip we did together in 2008. To my surprise there were barely over 150.
I definitely remember clicking more than that. So I used Recuva (file recovery tool) to scan through those sd cards. Yay I found over 300 more.
I immediately recovered them. Most of them were videos so I knew my entire Sunday would go in watching them. I wasn't complaining though.
So I started playing them. They were in mpg format and my default player couldn't play them without lag. So I installed vlc. Then, it was all fun and games, or so I supposed.
So there I was 24 year old me, refreshing my memories of Europe and the fun I had with my dad and his supposedly female 'colleague'. She too accompanied us and I always thought she used to do so to discuss work (I was 9 lol). My dad was divorced and my custody was entirely on him. (My mom left to another country).
As I was playing these videos in order, I found this one video. It started off with nothing but a bed. It looked horrible, probably the cheap hotel we were staying in. I did remember we used to book 2 rooms, one for me and dad and the other for the 'colleague'.
And there comes my dad! I would be happy to see this, IF HE WEREN'T NAKED. Then came in his colleague and they did the thing.
I immediately stopped playing it and was embarrassed as hell, even though I was alone at my house. I skipped over to other videos but after a while I just had to see it.
I really don't know why am I so embarrassed at this. This is basic human behavior. My dad has a life and he obviously does things nature has programmed us to do. But still, finding this clip after 15 years is very shocking.
Now at that time (15 years ago) , I was a little upset that mom wasn't there for me, and I used to blame my dad. But he did everything he could to raise me, Provide for me. He never left me out. He could have gone alone with his colleague to Europe, but no he took me. Infact, he never used to leave me alone unless he went to work, and at that time I was usually at school. He Always treated me like a friend.
This video I found did make me think, and I thought maybe I should ask him. Whether he was responsible for the divorce. But then I realized, Sex isn't something 'criminal'. Humans have needs and that's okay. After a few hours of thinking I realized something, I am asexual so this definitely will hit me harder. I don't understand sexual attraction But I know for a fact that my dad has always done so much for me.
This thingy I found is completely okay for him to do.
So I deleted that video and erased everything from those sd cards (I used another tool called Eraser) which ensures that those files would no longer be recoverable.
I would probably visit him someday now (probably next Friday) and tell him that I love him, no matter what. 💕
Peace out..
Apologies: English is not my first language, so you'll definitely see semantics and grammatical errors.
Using Throwaway account because I have posted my pictures on my main account.
TL;DR I was embarrassed to find some old sex tapes of my dad and didn't know how to react at all.
Narrow-Big7087: C'mon! You watched the video because you thought the "colleague" was hot! 😏
slerdnut: Gross. OP already said they're ace, so why did you feel the need to say that?
SethMalcolm1: it's called a "joke" don't know if you've heard of them.
slerdnut: Yeah I have I just prefer the funny ones
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1660537883 | 1660684824 | t3_woq8a6 | t5_2to41 | 25 | EntrepreneurBig1129: TIFU by checking out my dad's replica katana.
TIFU by checking out my dads replica sword. Today is was checking out my dad's replica katana and I couldn't get it in the sheath so I took of the the handle abit but it slipped off entirely. I tried to but it back but I put it in the wrong way. I really got it in and then I realized it was on the wrong way. I tried and tried but it won't budge . I haven't told my dad this and I need to some how get it back on soon. PLEASE HELP! Pics of the sword in it's current state https://photos.app.goo.gl/ha9xoPopupDPDdgs9 I've tried pulling at, I've tried prying it but it won't for the life of me pull off. I just need to learn how to get it off. I don't know what it's called or what it's from. I'm a 13 m my dad's a 47 m just in case you were wondering.
Wags43: Turn the tables and get mad at your dad first. Say "I can't believe you'd leave that sword where I could reach it! Im just a kid, and you know I would be very interested in a cool looking sword, I could have really hurt myself! Just wait until I tell mom!!!"
This whole mess actually is your dad's fault for having the sword in a place where you could reach it, and he wouldn't want your mom to be upset with him. Get him to realize that and you might weasel yourself out of trouble.
ozmofasho: At 13 he should know not to touch something that's not his
Wags43: And all 13 year olds do exactly what they're told? Kids will be kids, they make mistakes and do all sorts of things they're not supposed to do. Even OP knew not to touch the sword but did it anyway. Many children are drawn toward exciting, dangerous objects but they lack the discipline, knowledge, and skills to handle those objects properly. For safety, the sword should have been secured in a way that OP would not have been able to obtain it by himself, and it's the dad's fault for not doing that.
I own several firearms, knives, and even a replica sword similar to OP's dad. I fully expect my children to be curious and excited about them and I fully expect my children to want to play with them. It is absolutely my responsibility to protect my children from mishandling these weapons, especially if they try to sneak and handle one while unsupervised. Every one of my weapons are locked in some way to prevent child access.
This event is different than if OP banged up his dad's guitar. A sword is a dangerous weapon; many replicas are sharpened and can inflict serious or fatal wounds. That's what makes it the dad's fault in the first place. Had OP banged up his dad's guitar while playing on it without asking, then it would have been fully OP's fault.
ozmofasho: I agree with this statement. I thought you meant well he's a teenager there should be no consequences because kids will be kids kind of thing.
| 5 | 5 | |
1660607021 | 1660906021 | t3_wpepip | t5_2to41 | 16,666 | [deleted]: TIFU by finding my boyfriend’s spank bank
I (33F) wondered if my boyfriend (41M) had a spank bank so I asked him. He told me he did. When I asked if he kept nudes from exes, he said yes. We got into an argument about it because I think it’s weird. He said he doesn’t know a guy that doesn’t do it. While that might be true, I still thought it was weird. I asked him why he had them, and if it was because he wanted to remember the good times or something and he didn’t answer. I asked if he used them recently and he said not since we moved into our new place, which was within the last 3 months. I told him I didn’t care if he did his deeds to porn, but to nudes of exes was a different story because it was more personal. I told him I appreciated how honest he was with me and even though I had my opinions, it was ultimately his business.
Fast forward a few weeks later, it had been eating me up inside. I’ve always been curious and he’s always been so closed off about sex. I decided to snoop. Now before you come for me, yes, I know this is an invasion of privacy. Yes, I know this is fucked up and I know I will need to break things off with him, but here me out because it’s doomed anyway and I’m breaking things off.
I know my way around technology and used to use that knowledge to get access to things that I shouldn’t have access to. Take that how you want. I ended up finding his spank bank, and then some. I found out that he had a folder dedicated to a familiar name. It’s a common name, but I dismissed it and kept going. Turns out, it was an old boss who really screwed me months ago on a job promotion. He had a whole folder, just for her. I had no idea he hooked up with her, let alone, they seemed to have had a whole relationship. On top of that, there were so many files from other women in a separate folder, including my own pics and videos.
I had been thinking about this for a few hours now. I can’t tell what I’m more surprised about, hooking up with my ex boss and not telling me about it, or that he led me to believe this entire time we’ve been together, that he’s an inexperienced, nerdy guy that never got dates or women,when in actuality, he gets many women and it’s the exact opposite! I also want to add that he has a type: blonde hair, blue eyes, big tits. I am a brown woman, jet black hair, fat ass, mediocre tits. I’m not his type, my guys.
I feel like he’s settling for me. I feel like I never knew who he really was. I am shocked that he fucked my ex boss. It’s going to be weird living out the rest of this lease after we break up.
TL;DR: I found his spank bank and he fucked my old boss. He also used to get lots of sex when he led me to believe he didn’t.
Edits: I wanted to clear some things up before I posted the update.
I wanted to break up with him because I fucked up and violated his privacy by snooping. I agree with the lot of you. It was fucked up, way worse than finding old nudes. Kinda like cheating because of the trust thing.
When I say inexperienced, I meant that he was inexperienced with relationships and inexperienced with kinkier sex. I love kinkier shit. For whatever reason, he only liked vanilla stuff and whenever I wanted to explore other things like toys, props, etc, he would say he’s never tried and would never be into it but, boy did those pics prove that wrong! A lot of people are asking what led me to believe he was inexperienced. Uh, him. It’s his words! He said it. It’s not what I’m looking for. I’d like for him to be more comfortable with his sexuality, but that’s his own thing to work with. I take what he gives because it’s good enough. Honestly, I’m pretty open-minded so if he had been any level of experience, I would’ve still gave him a shot because his beard and his nose feel great, if you know what I mean.
Am I insecure? Yes. Everyone is insecure though. Did I let my insecurities cloud my judgement? Also yes. But because I let myself do this, I feel as though I have to leave. He doesn’t deserve this. Yes, I do have some work to do on myself.
Someone called me a prude. I love sex. I love talking about sex. I feel most comfortable when I feel sexy, like I’m in my element. Possibly trauma response, but that’s a different conversation.
I don’t care that he looks at porn. I encouraged him to watch porn with me. It’s just not everyone’s cup of tea and I get that too. These nudes are of exes. Past relationships. I know this because he said it himself when I asked if he kept nude pictures from past relationships. That’s the part that sent me spiraling. To me, it’s like a trophy that he can revisit, but with an emotional aspect because he was connected in real life to these women.
A lot of people are saying I just want to be a victim. I don’t believe I am a victim. I believe he is a victim of violation to his privacy and violating that trust. That’s why I feel like I have to break up with him, because I did that to him, because I think it’s the right thing to do.
For clarification, there’s only 2 folders. One folder is dedicated to ex boss and the other is a general folder where the rest of us are. I’m not hell bent on deleting my pics/videos. Hell I wanted them from him so I could post them on my OF. I’m on the side of “I sent them, I knew the risks” but I look damn good in those.
The truth about him that I was looking for: I felt like he was hiding something. When you know someone for as long as we’ve known each other (4 years of friendship before we started dating), you can tell when they are hiding something. He knew every single time when something bothered me, even if I lied and said it didn’t. There’s no doubt in my mind he knew it wasn’t resolved when we argued about this. I felt like he was hiding something, like maybe there was someone else. I didn’t feel like this the whole time, only when he worked with my ex boss a few months ago. They are both directors in their line of work, so they will have conferences and team builds with other directors. That was the time when I felt like he was hiding something. I only became curious of him keeping nudes when he took video of the bj I gave him earlier that day. I wondered what he did with it and if he had done it before with other girls. The truth was that I thought he was hiding something and when I went snooping, I found out that he had relationships with my ex boss and revisited her folder when he worked with her last. I don’t think he’s over her, but it doesn’t matter because he chose to be with me. I’m not shy and I’m pretty curious, so I ask when I curious. Idk why I didn’t ask to see them. When I think about it, I should’ve just asked.
People are saying it’s a red flag that he’s 10 years older than me. Wtf. He’s not, and regardless, we’re both consenting adults and met/became intimate while we were well into our adult years. I’m the bread winner in our relationship, although he is very much capable of taking care of himself. There is no unfair power dynamic here. He’s a director at his company that he works for and also have two other businesses. I have my main job, my OF, and I have several other projects that generate streams of income. We both bring to our relationship. We chose to be with each other. No manipulations. I’ve also dated men older than 40 when I was younger, and those were red flag relationships.
Did I miss anything?
Update: we talked. I came clean. I told him that I know I violated his trust and I shouldnt have snooped and I understand if he didn’t want to be with me anymore, so I was breaking up with him. I told him I’d stay in a hotel or something if he didn’t want to be near me after this but I couldn’t allow him to be with me when I’m so fucked up. He told me I was reaching and he didn’t feel like his privacy was violated. He said he had nothing to hide. He knew my capabilities and said he expected it years ago, but was surprised that it didn’t happen until now. He asked why I didn’t just ask him and I told him that I didn’t know. I didn’t have an excuse. He asked if I ever felt like he lied and I told him about a few things. I brought up some of my findings and he said he was telling the truth when he said he wasn’t into it. He said he lied about his inexperience because he didnt feel like it counted since he wasn’t into it. He said he didn’t want to break up and felt like he could move past it because it wasn’t as big of deal as I have now made it but if I couldn’t get past it, then so be it. He said he didn’t know he liked girls like me until he met me and crushed on me the whole time we were friends, even with all of my crazy. He told me he thought those girls he dated before was what he was supposed to like because of where he grew up. He said he wasn’t settling for me because of his reasons that I’m not writing out. I asked him to sit in on my first therapy session with a new therapist (because my old one died from Covid). He said he’s think about it because it’s not his thing. I guess we’re not broken up, but time will only tell.
I still fucked up though. I’m not dismissing it. I should probably add in here that I fucked up by posting this on fucking Reddit.
throwaway_my_fone: I actually find it weird he thinks it's normal for guys to keep nudes of their exes. I have zero nudes of my exes.
moistnote: If someone is in a relationship and sends nudes, hooray. When you break up, you don’t have rights to those nudes anymore. It’s like digital consent I guess.
slavnar95: Not true, legally, or reasonably. If you dont want people to have yo ur nudes... dont fucking send nudes.
moistnote: I wasn’t saying it was legal, I was saying it was ethical. Since when have ethics and laws ever coincided?
HolyGig: If you either give the picture or give consent for the picture to be taken, its their property now legally and I don't see anything morally wrong with them keeping it privately either. If their were any ethics violations done here it was OP when she raided his computer and looked at private photos that were meant for him even if they were from previous relationships.
Obviously if they are sharing it with others that's a different story
Babydisposal: You're afforded privileges in a relationship like physical contact, living space access, communication methods,(seeing them naked is probably a safe assumption i think) and I feel it's good form to consider pictures sent in a relationship as one of them. It shouldn't have to be stated explicitly and communication should be made about keeping them if you want to. Sure it's legal but that doesn't make it not douchey and gross.
LeonardoMagikarpo: Lets say your boyfriend sends you a pic intended just for you. Later you break up with that boyfriend but never asks you to remove said picture. Why is it douchey to keep said picture if you never share it with anyone?
DreamGirly_: The picture was shared for use within the relationship. After the relationship ended, that consent is no longer valid. (I am very bad at putting this into words.)
If you give your partner a worn sweater that smells like you, and they still keep it way after you broke up - or worse, regularly smelled it. Would you be weirded out?
LeonardoMagikarpo:
>The picture was shared for use within the relationship.
When you send a picture to someone you're giving it as a gift to them. Would you throw away literally every present your ex ever gave you?
>After the relationship ended, that consent is no longer valid.
I don't understand why that'd be case unless the ex specifically asked for the deletion of those pics.
>If you give your partner a worn sweater that smells like you, and they still keep it way after you broke up - or worse, regularly smelled it. Would you be weirded out?
I'm interested in the douchey part not weird part. & no, I wouldn't consider that douchey.
Babydisposal: You're assuming the person wants you to keep private pictures. Pictures that if they fell into the wrong hands could be bad for them. You're no longer with that person why should they trust you to keep their private images safe and private? Why would they want you looking at them naked? How is looking at a picture any different? If a person wouldn't be naked in the same room with you, you probably shouldn't be keeping pictures of them without explicit permission.
LeonardoMagikarpo: You're assuming the person isn't okay with it.
If they're not okay with it, just ask for deletions. Remember it's that simple. I'm arguing for the instances they say nothing.
& if you no longer trust your ex, does it matter if you asked them or not? You can't trust that they'll keep their word anyway.
Unless they say otherwise I'll assume I'm supposed to keep & cherich any gift a loved one gave me.
DreamGirly_: > Remember it's that simple. I'm arguing for the instances they say nothing.
I think we're all arguing about what should be the default.
In my opinion - and the other person who responded - the default should be deleting pictures that were shared because you were in a relationship, but wouldn't have been if you weren't. Unless you have explicit permission to keep them.
In your opinion, the default should be that you get to keep anything anyone sends you forever regardless of what the nature of it is or the context of receiving it. Unless you have specific instructions to delete them. And yes, I consider keeping those kinds of pictures douchey.
Since you don't seem to consider the sweater thing douchey, tho it's unclear to me whether you'd find it weird, let me give another example.
(Assuming you are a man) imagine you gift your partner a dildo made with one of those clone-a-willy kits. A perfect copy of your penis. After your relationship ends, they still keep the dildo - or worse, regularly use it. Would you *find that douchey*?
What about being in a new relationship with someone who still has (and uses) a dildo copy of their ex's penis?
LeonardoMagikarpo: Should be:
What I think the world should be is partners talking about it when they break up & then respect eachothers wishes.
I'd say asking your ex if it's ok to keep their nudes is moral.
Not saying anything & keep them is amoral.
Keeping them even though the ex asked me not to is immoral (douchey).
Dildo:
Not douchey at all. If she likes it so much, who am I to judge. So long as it doesn't affect our relationship she can masturbate to a house full of doll replicas of her exes for all I care. She's with me & not her ex afterall.
Babydisposal: If you were given an apartment key would you not return it after you break up?
LeonardoMagikarpo: A key gives you access to their physical property & private space, & have no other function so I'd probably give it back without my ex asking for it, or ask them if they want me to keep it for emergencies depending why we broke up.
Edit: Now, would it be amoral to keep a key but never use it to enter her apartment if your partner never asked to get it back?
I'd say yes.
Babydisposal: You're just claiming things as amoral and saying they're not douchey because they're not directly immoral according to you. That's why it should be a question and not an assumption that you get to keep something so private. Your opinion of what's moral and immoral is not necessarily how they view the same thing.
LeonardoMagikarpo: Cause Morality is subjective as every person has differing views of what is moral.
I view it as an amoral action to keep a gift if it doesn't hurt anyone unless you're asked not to.
You somehow view it as immoral because? No one is hurt if you keep the gift. No one is hurt if you jack off to it in private. So why is it immoral?
& that's why communication is key. If you don't like something you tell the other person. How else are they supposed to know?
If I'd date someone with a similar morality system as my own & decided to not tell them I'd keep the gift I would've done the correct assumption. In what world would that be immoral?
Babydisposal: Something doesn't have to be immoral to be douchey. Presumption is the issue here. You presume that sending a nude photo is a gift rather than an act of intimacy and that says a lot about how you view people.
LeonardoMagikarpo: Could you give a couple of examples what you consider douchey but not immoral? Maybe I've used those terms wrong. So far I think I've always seen douchey & immoral go hand in hand, even if it's just a minor douche move & not something egregious.
Look, I think it's both an act of intimacy & a gift. I will also always personally ask if it's ok to keep nudes, because that's the moral act imo. But I wouldn't call someone immoral for never bringing it up.
> that says a lot about how you view people.
May I ask what you think that view is?
| 20 | 833.3 | |
1660536002 | 1660615747 | t3_wopmss | t5_2to41 | 4 | kfizz21: TIFU by looking at my phone while driving (a warning to anyone out there).
To preface, this happened Thursday. I just got the pictures from my mom today and it brought everything crashing down to reality.
I went to a Pinegrove concert Thursday night in ATL. Great concert, one of the top 5 concerts I’ve been to in my entire life. Here’s the FU. I was driving back home (I live just north of ATL) and still had work that needed to be done for a bid due Friday morning at 8 am. I had received a couple of unit rates to use in my bid via email during the concert, and while on the interstate I was reading the unit rates and trying to do the math in my head towards what my bid was going to be.
I have an express pass for the interstate here in GA, so I got on the express lane. However, one exit before mine, it splits left to continue on or right to get on the exit. While looking at these emails, I went right thinking I’d gone left. I look up from my phone to see a concrete wall approaching me at 80+ mph, and I barely have time to let go of the wheel before impact. I slammed into the wall at full speed (the investigator estimated a roughly 70G impact), and somehow climbed out (with the help of two onlookers who pulled me out).
The cops brought me home because I had a full on panic attack at the scene and they couldn’t see anything wrong with me. However, when my parents got here they took me to the ER. I got out sometime Friday afternoon, after several full check ups and CT scans. No broken bones, no internal bleeding. I’m very bruised, and a have a moderate concussion because my head hit the steering wheel over the air bag. But I’m only alive by the grace of God. I should not have walked away. And it’s a hard lesson to learn, but one that’s vital to all of us. Always be careful. Life can change in an instant. Be grateful for the time you have with the people you have.
TL:DR;[don’t text and drive, you could kill yourself or not get as lucky as I did.](https://imgur.com/a/Z1wbmTQ)
drewed1: .... You mean 7 G? 70g would have liquified parts of your body
kfizz21: 7G is the equivalent to a 15 mph hit. No.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1660596495 | 1660609199 | t3_wpahhf | t5_2to41 | 2 | SirCireSotelo: TIFU by being insensitive to my wife’s recent trip to Walmart
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blannco: Nah. Your wife was doing some weird shit with that. Sounds like something driven by some insecurities or something. Or maybe she lost half her foot and your just being a dude going “doesn’t look that bad”
SirCireSotelo: I assure you her foot is still intact. But I don’t really know how much it’s bothering her. I asked if she was okay and when she told me - yeah - and I apologize that happened.
Ultimately I think she wanted to vent about the whole situation, but I wasn’t receptive to that.
blannco: Well they call it venting cus she’s just blowing air. Wouldn’t worry bout it
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1660607549 | 1660623038 | t3_wpewr2 | t5_2to41 | 23 | oLuaan: TIFU by breaking my fiancés mug
So, today I fucked up. My fiancé has this mug she loves dearly with a penguin on it and I defied her wishes to not use i. As the mugs were dirty and I was lazy and it was clean (Yep this is where I should’ve stopped and grabbed a dirty one and cleaned it to use but I didn’t), I then proceeded to make a coffee in it and then went to set it on the coffee table, I then went to let my dog out of her bed and she got the zoomies, she was flying from one end of the house to the other and during this little bits of chaos she knocked the mug off of the coffee table, it’s not the dogs fault it is my fault for defying my fiancés wishes and using her mug and then breaking it on her. The mug is still usable, it’s just missing a handle to hold on to. I did what I feel most people would do, kneel in the coffee and scoop up all of the broken ceramic pieces and set them aside, I believe I have all of the pieces picked up and have thought of a way to piece them back together but I fear that the stability of this handle is diminished since my little mishap this morning. TLDR: I used my fiancés mug which she said specifically not to and ended up breaking it.
Any suggestions on how to fix the mug?
Somon0: There's an art form called Kintsugi where you use the shattered pieces and glue them back together with gold. Doing that will guarantee that this whole mess is a lesson to you. It's also pretty to look at 
oLuaan: I’ll start mining for it now!
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1660612465 | 1660613147 | t3_wpgplq | t5_2to41 | 10 | IntroductionTrue5006: Tifu by masturbating at 3 am
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v0kk3r: I think you might have a little teeny tiny case of premature ejaculation. Perhaps you were a little too excited?
IntroductionTrue5006: Yeah, i might be a premature guy surprisingly depending on the position and i just wanted a kick nut
v0kk3r: Cheers, we all on require a quick fix at times.
IntroductionTrue5006: Thx for understanding
| 5 | 2 | |
1660613809 | 1660617638 | t3_wph759 | t5_2to41 | 50 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #48! Come share your stories and hang out! Get the popcorn! 🍿
Technical-Airline170: These people are real weird…
granny-godness: We're on reddit... Weird is being polite
Technical-Airline170: Are you the one that got butt hurt for me saying that you were getting stupid?
granny-godness: Nope, I agree with you, however I belive that's the fun of it. It is stupid and that's fun to us
| 5 | 10 | |
1660614694 | 1660616526 | t3_wphimp | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by not talking to a girl who was probably in to me
[deleted]
Gagakshi: She probably didn't want some stranger hitting on her at pizza hut.
You did the opposite of fucking up.
Unlucky_Advantage481: Pretty sure she was flirting with me but okay... I caught her staring at me multiple times.
Gagakshi: Because she smiled at you?
Unlucky_Advantage481: Look, clearly you haven't been in that type of situation so I'm not gonna bother.
AmadeusKurisu: Yet you posted on here.
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1660613731 | 1660620113 | t3_wph66d | t5_2to41 | 448 | dark-_-thoughts: TIFU but trying to be my own tech support for my Nintendo Switch.
My SD card got corrupted and so I was trying to redownload my pokémon games and it just was not letting me. One of the recommended steps to fix it was to factory reset the console and if that didn't work I was going to have to send the console back to Nintendo to get swapped out. I didn't remember that I had been trying to get my first shiny charm in a pokémon game by completing the pokédex and I literally transferred every single pokémon I could from pokémon home into pokémon sword.
They are all gone. My event pokémon, my shinies that I lucked out and found randomly or from pokémon GO, my legendaries, my special starters from linking pokémon home to the sword and shield. Months of progress on the first pokémon game I've owned since I was a child playing Pokémon Crystal. I'm not even sure if I want to replay the game at this point. The only reason I noticed is I just bought Pokémon Legends Arceus and I was trying to find my shiny Cyndaquil that took me 7 months to find the first time.
Tl:Dr: tried to be smarter than the equipment and lost all of my progress on my Pokémon games including shinies and legendaries.
pelagius_wasntwrong: Wait, your external SD card got corrupted so you factory reset the console itself? Terrible idea.
You could've just taken your SD card out and taken it to a local PC repair shop for data recovery. A corrupted drive doesn't necessarily mean data corruption. You could've likely saved your progress.
dark-_-thoughts: I bought a new SD card and I couldn't get the games to install on the SD card. Every time I would try to install it would pop up with Data corruption without even trying to download.
pelagius_wasntwrong: Were you installing from a physical disk or from a digital copy from the Nintendo store?
dark-_-thoughts: Digital download
pelagius_wasntwrong: Was the drive formatted properly?
dark-_-thoughts: I bought a brand new SD card. Put it in, formatted it went to download the games from my home scree. Gave me the error, So I cleared it from the home screen with data management and went and tried to redownload it from the eShop. Got like two different error codes and went through the steps I found online. The step before factory resetting the console was to try different SD card or downloading the game from the eShop directly to the console without an SD card inserted. Neither of those worked. Factory reset did but in the process I lost everything without realizing because I'd been working on this problem for about 2 hours total time but over 3 days because I had to buy another SD card.
pelagius_wasntwrong: Do you know if your saves were located on the original SD card or on the console's native storage?
dark-_-thoughts: Pretty sure console's native storage because I got one of the games to reload and that was the one I had a physical copy of and it had all of my progress before I factory reset the console.
pelagius_wasntwrong: Do you have an NSO membership?
If your saves were located on the console's native storage, then that game's save data would have been yeeted along with the other games' save data.
dark-_-thoughts: I do have a Nintendo switch online membership. I don't understand your statement. But I do know that I went back into my settings for data management to see if I could pull my cloud data for my different games and couldn't find anything but on the home screen if you press the plus button it gives you options and that lets you pull your backup data. Unfortunately, Pokémon sword. The game that I know had all of my Pokémon on it does not support backup via the save data cloud service according to the settings.
pelagius_wasntwrong: This warrants the fattest F in the chat.
RIP Pokémon progress.
The only thing you can do at this point is take your switch to a local computer repair shop and see if they can do data recovery on it to get your save back. It's not entirely guaranteed to work, but I think it'd be worth a shot if it means that much to you.
dark-_-thoughts: It's just time. Eventually I'll get back to it. And I got friends who play who can send me spares that they have of some of the things I lost.
McGundam1215: Ok this is gonna be a really dumb question but it usually clears cache jams in data, did you try powering off, not going to sleep mode, the switch console first? It was that or you had a duplicated run file in the save and the console couldn’t understand which to pull and that point you have to clear cache or format. But most times with a new card you should remove the new card, shut down for 30 secs, reboot, then shut down again insert the card then boot up and your card caches should be cleared between the two boots
dark-_-thoughts: I did not power cycle between swapping cards which could have been the original issue. Good to know now but it is fixed even if it cost
McGundam1215: Yeah my brother created a second run file on a DS, he was using my emerald he had about 80-90 hours logged and he went to clone a couple Pokémon doing the trade glitch. It created a double run file in the Emerald cartridge and he was forced to wipe the game. To this day we still talk about the revenants of my brothers undoing by trying to cheat the game. Pretty sure his Rayquaza, Alakazaam and Dragonite were all level 100 when he wiped.
He returned the game to me a broken trainer
| 16 | 28 | |
1660616513 | 1660641265 | t3_wpi628 | t5_2to41 | 159 | Hot-Tone-7495: TIFU by going outside my brothers window and scaring him
TW: cancer-other illnesses and genuine expression of fear.
(This happened two weeks ago) I’m 23f he’s 22m. We watch game shows together every day because we’re lame and it’s fun. He’s had cancer for a year now and is nearing the end of his chemotherapy, hes in remission so we’ve been spending a lot of time inside and the game shows are a nice escape, since Covid limits our outdoor activities.
So I’m a smoker, As I was going outside, I noticed my brothers bedroom window was open. He was napping, It was mid day and we usually play around this time so I go to the window and whisper-
“*brother*, this is your sleep paralysis demon. Come play game show.”
I spoke low and said it twice. We’ve done shit like this forever so I had no idea what was to come. Usually he just wakes up, says shut up hoe (lol) and we watch tv.
He wakes up screaming. Like blood curdling screams. I run inside to wake him up and he pukes. He’s panicking so hard so I shove him in my car and rush him to the nearest ER (like 5 blocks away). He’s in hysterics the entire way there.
A few hours passed, my moms there now (we all live together, she was at work) and the dr comes out to tell us he got a cut that was infected and he had sepsis, was hallucinating, and was on heavy antibiotics. He was in the ICU for four days, and when he came home he said he kept hallucinating me in his hospital room with my baby, like we were just hanging out. On top of it all he can’t go to his next chemo appointment until he’s sepsis free.
TLDR; I’m an asshole who probably made myself my sick brothers “sleep paralysis demon” and also extended his chemo treatments by 2 months.
Edit: I want to add that he’s good now, next month will be his final chemo appointment, and he’s no longer septic. I know it was good that I got him to a hospital but I really do beat myself up for not noticing signs earlier, I thought his weight loss and other symptoms were chemo related. FUCK CANCER.
lamb2cosmicslaughter: You saved your brother. Hands down. You didn't give him sepsis and if you didn't bring him in then he could have actually died at home. Good job. Take yourself out for a good dinner. Bring brother when you can. But celebrate for yourself. Again good job.
Hot-Tone-7495: I think so, but I wish I didn’t do it in such a weird way. Either way I’m glad he tripped out because he’s on the mend now and we’re still on for a concert early next year!
AssumptionRough8124: Blessing in disguise
| 4 | 39.75 | |
1660621569 | 1660627966 | t3_wpjwul | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by being led on, lied to, and having it rubbed it my face
[deleted]
Sparri4122: Dude, I’m super sorry. You clearly didn’t deserve this and this chick would have to be dumber than a bag of hammers to not know this would hurt you. It’s even more infuriating to know that she was willing to mess around with you instead of being upfront about having a boyfriend. I feel for him, too; he doesn’t deserve this either.
She’s obviously not someone worth keeping around if she treats people close to her like this. Keep your head up, and rest easy knowing your time will no longer be wasted on someone who won’t respect it.
To your comment: be as you as you can. People will come along who will appreciate you for it. When you find them, they will always show you the value of being where you’re wanted.
Capable-Site-301: Maybe not dumb. Just so totally self-centred and self-absorbed that she can't even think about anyone else's feelings but her own.
CivilMidget: This is exactly the situation. I am far from the first and will very much not be the last.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1660606516 | 1660699176 | t3_wpeitz | t5_2to41 | 4 | Few-Recognition-9265: TIFU by being friends with a asshole,
This did not happen today also this is a throwaway for obvious reasons., Infact a couple months ago, so this is were the TIFU starts, I friend this guy called "redacted" AKA REDACTED, He was nice for a couple of months, Until I join his MC server, People didnt like me, They killled me alot.
but lets skip for all that, so one day I was hanging with another friend called "REDACTED" And I decided to show my face to the dude, and this part is bad. After I was done, I got a dm from REDACTED AKA REDACTED, And he sent a Image of my face, Pretty fucking annoying, and this "friend" sent the image to other people, and another "recent" incident, He leaked one of my friends' IPs. pretty fucking weird, and they wanted to send him a dildo or some shit. and the friend who got his IP leaked (REDACTED) Wanted to kill himself. as he also had his face leaked and edited. And he isnt a great guy, so if you see a guy called REDACTED, dont friend him. TL;DR: Ended up being friends with a asshole, and getting my face edited and leaked.
No_Love_1353: [REDACTED]
Few-Recognition-9265: \[REDACTED\]
coolgamer_554: \[REDACTED\]
| 4 | 1 | |
1660623217 | 1660666726 | t3_wpkgrt | t5_2to41 | 4 | Unfair_Discount_1645: Tifu By paying before sex. TL:DR
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AllanfromWales1: A story as old as humankind. I got scammed in a similar way back in 1973. Not Reddit, of course, but the effect was the same.
Eggymule86: Take a walk down memory lane and tell us the story? I’m sure op might feel a little better if you described trying to get your end away before the internet.
You never know he might think himself lucky?
AllanfromWales1: 18, virgin, never dated a female, decided the best bet was to lose it with a prozzy so I'd be less desperate with any girlfriend I might get. Went to Soho in London, saw a street woman and asked. She took money upfront then said to meet her back at her place where we couldn't be seen going in together. You can guess the rest.
| 4 | 1 | |
1660623178 | 1660764752 | t3_wpkgbj | t5_2to41 | 394 | pennyforyouraccount: TIFU by reading my partner's blood sugar in the creepiest way possible
Okay so it's not the biggest fuck up you'll read today but I'm very very embarassed. Today my partner finally got access to the Freestyle Libre, which for those who don't know is a device used to monitor blood sugar. Lots of diabetics use finger prick tests but the Libre is a little implant that sits in your arm for two weeks and you can use an NFC capable device to read the blood sugar. It gives alerts when low and alerts when high. It's way better, it lets you monitor the trends way better etc
My partner just had his first low alarm as I went to bed so I picked up his phone and scanned his implant, sugars low, 3.9. I can't scan his implant on my phone, only get updates, so I had to go round to his side of the bed and pick up his phone to do it. So I went downstairs to grab him some sugary snacks, bring them up and THEN gently wake him up and tell him he's low... and that went pretty well...
He then went to the bathroom, had some sugar, then went back to bed. I'm still awake about an hour later and stupidly think "I gotta check if his sugar has come up". But in the course of that hour, I've gotten butt ass naked and my hair is bedraggled and a mess because it's hot and humid so it's looking scraggly as hell. So I quietly sneak round to his side of the bed, gremlin over him basically looking like baba yaga but with more tit, lean over to scan the implant and he wakes up, elbows start flying and he screams, thinking a cryptids come to mess him up. Luckily every blow missed me except the blow to my pride and I had to skulk back round the bed like some kind of grudge/ring girl monster with an anxiety disorder. There is nothing worse than doing a stupid and being naked while you do it.
TLDR; I hovered over my partner and woke him up in a really creepy way, while trying to do something helpful, and nearly got elbowed in the face for it.
Aduke1122: Dexcom CGM doesn’t have the need to scan to check sugar levels, it automatically gives you the reading every five mins, which is a blessing, my 13 year old child is a T1 Diabetic, if the Libre doesn’t work out, try the Dexcom for sure! This made me laugh 😂
PlzBeInLondon: Libre 2 doesn't either as you can get a patched libre app and use xDrip
pennyforyouraccount: What what what...?
PlzBeInLondon: Probably can't link direct on here, but if you navigate to r/diabetes and join the discord, we have a huge happy beet family haply to help you out
| 5 | 78.8 | |
1660609262 | 1660665176 | t3_wpfj1n | t5_2to41 | 76 | YourInfidelityInMe: TIFU Lube in his TSA-approved squeeze bottle numbed my butt
Aloha.
I’m currently on my Hawaiian island getaway. I hate it. I know this is a first world problem, but I gotta complain.
There is a group of people staying at the resort for a destination wedding, and I had been sexting on the DL with one of the guys in the wedding party. I get it, it’s a wedding and it’s Hawaii. People get erect the instant they step off the plane. Super erect. I get it.
Our harmless sext flirtation built up to sex in my room this AM. I have to say, it was bigger than what the dick pics suggested. He only sent close up shots, never any with a tape measure or objects for scale. But he must be aware of his unusual size, because he came prepared with his own lube in a TSA-approved squeeze bottle.
Apparently, there are numbing lubes on the market and he always uses it with his Tinder dates. My bum was not so completely anesthetized that I couldn’t feel pressure, but it definitely eased the deep passage of his fantastic D.
In retrospect, I’m not sure numbing is a good thing. Yes I was able to take all of him with the lube. Yes I was able to let him be as aggressive as he wanted. But what was in it for me? I had some sensation of pressure around my hole but it wasn’t pleasurable, per se, and numbing didn’t dull the deep sense of discomfort whenever he hard-thrusted. To make things worse, he kept reapplying and squirting more in my gape, so not only was my bum numbed, his D was desensitized as well, from tip to base. Stuffing my mouth with his anesthetic D during ATM was the cherry-on-top of the shitty sundae. I couldn’t taste anything, not his spit, not his precum, not the lube, nada. I don’t know how he managed to keep a raging erection with a desensitized D, but he did. For a long time. Too long.
After he left, I headed down to the pool to cool off and stretch my hips in the water. While I was in the grotto, sensation in my bum started returning. I did not know that pool water can burn so much, like thousands of little ants nipping at my hole. I never bolted out of the water so quickly in my life.
When sensation fully returned in my butt, I realized that my eyes had been far bigger than my butthole. Boy does it hurt now. To add insult to injury, my neck started to hurt. I don’t know if I got out of the pool too quickly and sprained my neck, or if it was from his random hair pulling and stepping on my face earlier. Or both. But the right side of my neck started to hurt. I had this once and the only thing that worked was a muscle relaxant. And I don’t have any here.
Night snorkeling to see manta rays? Nope. Tomorrow morning’s snorkeling trip to see reefs? Nope. Long jogs on the island? Nope. Tinder date tomorrow? Nooope. The only thing that is going well at this point is that sensation in my tongue is finally returning, so I can actually taste the virgin mango daiquiri. Other than that, my island getaway is officially ruined.
And the fact that he’s with his group right now at the bar, enjoying his drinks, laughing, having a good time, stealing glances and messaging me annoying little sexmojis…while I’m stuck here with a burning butthole, a crooked neck, and canceled plans…all of it just make me even more angry.
TL;DR: I shouldn’t have allowed him to numb my butt. If it doesn’t fit, you must quit. Mahalo.
GoingByTrundle: ... people step on eachothers face during sex?
Stabileseitenlage: How else you can get sucked your big toe while you're are in doggy, thrusting in an ass like tomorrow is the end of the world?!
| 3 | 25.333333 |
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