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1660987255 | 1661274852 | t3_wt2ty1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | nigxt_lol: TIFU by saying I don’t hate Andrew Tate
PS - I DO NOT agree with / like his views and actions and after doing some research on the dude I realised how much of a piece of shit human he is
I assume you know who Andrew Tate is but by any chance you don’t, He is a multimillionaire, former kickboxing champion now retired, who made his wealth by running a video cam business (video-chat), internet famous for his misogynistic and sexist Jews in women and more, now running a wry successful pyramid scheme.
Last night my girlfriend (16f) and me (16m) came across a video of Andrew Tate while scrolling through TikTok. She asked me if I hate him, because she does; my answer “I don’t necessarily hate him, but I don’t like him and I don’t agree with his ideas, I just don’t have an opinion on him.”
Her answer was “Really? I can’t believe you said that. Massive red flag.” And got visibly upset with me.
In my defence and for some context, I didn’t really know his history of abusing women and potential rape case that is still under investigation. All I knew is that he is another ‘Alpha Male’ trying to take advantage of desperate and young stupid men. I knew him as a clown who everyone made fun of because of his delusional views on women and don’t take him seriously. So therefore I didn’t make an option on him, and every time I would stumble across a video of him I would just laugh at how outrageous and over the top his views are and just carry on with my day without thinking of what’s he’s saying.
After realising my girlfriend was mad at me I told her that he is a genius is marketing and publicity (which he is) which is admirable in a way but I also repeated the fact that I don’t like or support his views or ideas on women or just in general.
Her response was “so you find a woman beater and rapist admirable” which isn’t what I said.
I was caught off guard because I didn’t know about him being accused of rape and serious cases of domestic violence.
I tried explain to her that I didn’t know about the full history of his crimes and that I will do some research on him and make an opinion;
After she told me to educate myself before I say I don’t hate someone (which didn’t really make sense but whatever)
The conversation goes back and forth repeating the same same argument over and over and eventually I had to leave and go home. But right before I left she told me to stfu if I don’t want to annoy her even more which I found unnecessary and rude. But it doesn’t stop there because the conversation carried on text.
To make a long story short on text she sent me a video form Danz Games talking about Tate and why he’s a piece of shit human being (I’ll link it below) in the video Danz compares Tate to Hitler which hit me like a truck because it is a perfect comparison and that’s when I realised just because he is a good businessman doesn’t I mean I should hate him.
After that I apologised to my girlfriend and told her I changed my opinion on Tate and that I shouldn’t say he’s admirable just because he’s a good businessman.
After all that I told her politely to try to make an effort to not swear and insult me when we’re arguing (because she always does that) because it just worsens the situation because I don’t insult the other person in an argument even if I’m right.
And as per usual she took it the wrong way and said I’m turning everything in her which isn’t the case. I can admit when I’m wrong.
After that she ignored my texts and probably still will.
I hope everything made sense and sorry if I made any grammatical mistakes English is not my first language.
I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if I’m in the wrong. Please anyone give me advice.
[Danz reaction to Adrew Tate](https://youtu.be/J3Ups5yT7P4)
TL;DR. My girlfriend asked me if I hate Andrew Tate because she does. I say I don’t necessarily hate him but I don’t like him either and don’t agree with his views in women. I don’t know all the disgusting things he’s done. Massive argument happens. My gf is being childish and not wanting to understand my point of view. She’s mad at me and thinks I’m trying to turn the fault on her because I told her to not be rude and swear at me and insult me when we’re arguing because it makes everything worse. I don’t know what to to. Please help
RudeSprinkles1240: I wish teenaged girls said "massive red flag."
Edit: and what teenaged boy uses "as per usual?"
hills_for_breakfast: I believe OP *is* a teenage girl
nigxt_lol: I’m a dude 🥲😬
hills_for_breakfast: Ah, thanks for the clarification. You identified yourself in the post as (16f).
nigxt_lol: Oh- that was a mistake
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1660988221 | 1660997599 | t3_wt32kx | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: tifu by wearing heels in an air banb
[deleted]
koozy407: Don’t be embarrassed. Everyone has sex. I was painting a 60 yr old ladies house and my guys went to move the nightstand and it fell over. What rolled out? About 7 dildos and one very large fist. A FIST. They hurried up and put everything back but we now knew her kink. It was hilarious.
As far as the dents, this is a little bit more expensive problem…. They will just assume you were getting ready to go out and wore your shoes up there. It may need replacing. I will pray for your bank account🤣
[deleted]: This is a fair point. But it still leaves him with the conclusion that I walked all around his upstairs floors in shoes just out of vanity when he was really clear that shoes were for downstairs only.
He has very light carpets on the stairs and the landing.
The thing was that I knew the shoes weren't dirty as they came right out of a box. But now there's these very clear little 'horseshoes' all over the bedroom.
mostly_kinda_sorta: the issue clearly wasn't dirt. as you have learned the hard way some flooring is layered and will be damaged by heels. I have no idea why they sell flooring that us so easily damaged, and I sure wouldn't use it in a place I planned on renting out. but they did and it seems they gave you ample warning which you choose to ignore. might want to call a lawyer because you are probably going to be hit with a bill to replace the flooring in that room. I have no idea how airbnb liability works stuff like this
umadbraugh: Agreed , I was wondering the same thing about the floor and the material. pretty shitty if you ask me.
[deleted]: If you are saying that the floor is pretty shitty for purpose, then I agree. I've never had this happen before.
But like others have said, there was a clear sign. It was just that I 100% though this was about his stupid cream carpets.
Seriously, who decks a bandb out with this stuff?
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1660989931 | 1661000810 | t3_wt3ic3 | t5_2to41 | 779 | Privilige: tifu by telling my gf a pigeon would fly out of the way of her car
[removed]
Laserspeeddemon: 2mph?!?! I blame the pigeon. That is 100% without a shadow of doubt the pigeons fault.
I mean can imagine a boulder rolling at you at 2mph and you actually die? That's like 3 feet per second. If that happened to me, I'd looked down at myself and be like, "Yep, I deserved that one...sup Jesus?"
Privilige: tbh I do think this one must have had a death wish. I didn't think, when last seen, it was even particularly in the way of her wheel.
jordanManfrey: They're real slow and dumb. Probably a result of hundreds of years of domestication in their DNA
wheredMyArmourGo: So the thousands of years of domestication of dogs and cats just…. Affected them differently? Pigeons are the only animals that have adapted to life with humans by becoming so dumb they won’t move out of the way? Okay bud, sure
jordanManfrey: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestication_syndrome
wheredMyArmourGo: Did… you think that backed you up? Domestication doesn’t make animals stand in front of a moving object as it’s crushed to death. The bird was probably sick or dying. It has nothing to do with domestication.
| 7 | 111.285714 | |
1660996181 | 1661099407 | t3_wt57bz | t5_2to41 | 3,879 | Koniss: TIFU by almost killing my mother secret boyfriend
So me and my family live in a big house together with my single (or at least I thought so) mother, me wife and kids we live at 1st floor while my mother moved in quite recently in an apartment at the ground floor, tonight one of the kids woke me up in the middle of the night, usual stuff no biggies except I hear some strange noises downstairs , sleepy me immediately thought burglars and I sneak downstairs in ninja mode (I’m quite a good ninja) and i managed to get there unnoticed until I realised what was going on and I decide to go back upstairs, now the fuck up i’m in the kitchen almost out of my mum apartment and someone is coming so I do the only reasonable thing and I hide behind a door, so my mum BF decided it’s time for a snack and come in the kitchen and proceed to close the door in currently hiding behind, me being busted the only thing I could think was smiling and go “BUH!” , that’s when I found out the guy it’s weak of heart more precisely when he started to collapse on ground with the start of an heart attack, quickly forward we called the ambulance and sent him urgently to the hospital, he seems to be alright now…
And that was my night.
TL;DR sneaked in my mum apartment looking for thieves, scared to almost death her boyfriend.
ForkShirtUp: Wait, so your first response is to scare a possibly armed intruder like a toddler?
Koniss: Well it works if they’re over 60yo, tbh at that point I already figured out what was going on and that was all that confused and sleepy me could come up with
Wiggie49: wait so you KNEW it was probably ur mom's partner and you still decided to scare them lmao
Temerity6270: OP tried to escape back upstairs after figuring out what was going on. Didn’t intend on scaring the dude, just got caught before OP could make it back up. It was more of a knee jerk reaction than an intentional action.
Wiggie49: Still kinda weird but ok
extermin8or2: He was hiding behind the door and the guy shut the door.... he was being found anyway.
Wiggie49: I don’t get why he hid at all if he knew who it was 🤷♂️
beepybobeep: accidentally running into your moms secret boyfriend, half asleep, and in the middle of the night isn’t the ideal first meeting. I’d definitely hide too for both of our sake
Wiggie49: I guess
| 10 | 387.9 | |
1660995148 | 1661065501 | t3_wt4ws3 | t5_2to41 | 4 | InformationAdept7411: TIFU by drinking coffee
I've been on a 3 years strict diet with the aim to cleanse my body of any drugs (even coffee and tea), I've stopped drinking soda, coffee, tea or any beverage that has sugar in it.
I also started fasting for 12 hours each day for 8 months and stopped eating junk food and focused more on eating healthy foods.
After this severe diet I managed to lose 20kgs and it was a great achievment for me!
After losing that much weight I thought it's time to start lifting weights to gain more muscles..
The thing is, after 1 month of wightlifting my eating routine got messed up, my energy gets drained faster after workouts and I can't even reach the end of the day without being exhausted at 3 pm...
My eating routine got messed up and I got freaked out after figuring out that 1 of my pants that I used to wear doesn't fit anymore... I guess am gaining weight over again..
Yesterday i went out with my friends that i haven't seen for a while to get some coffee, I was against the idea at first but I said why not.. Both of my friends got a strong coffee and my toxic masculinity hit me hard that I said to the waiter to get me 1 too...
After drinking the coffee I didnt feel a thing at first and it wasnt even that good so I got relaxed, after exactly 1 hour I felt a surge of energy getting into my body and I felt something I've never felt for a while..
I started talking at very high speed and my friends couldn't even catch what I was saying, I'm usually introverted and I don't talk a lot but at that time I was totally dominating the conversation.. I got that first coffee at around 5pm.
After gettong home I went to the gym, I was so energetic at the gym too, I did all my sets easily and it felt so good.
After my gym session I went out with another group of friends (9pm) to get coffee and I did it again, I loved the feeling of dominating the conversation, so I wanted to do it again..
I felt the same energy and all and it was fantastic..
The problem is when I returned home, i put on a tv show like always to help me get a sleep, and I watched 1 episode after another and When I looked at the time it was 3 AM!! I've never stayed up that late before and I don't even feel tired, I tried forcing myself to sleep but I couldn't.. Tried music, jerking off.. Working out literally everything and I still couldn't!! 6 am came and the sun started raising and I still didn't get a moment of sleep... And then something weird happenend.. I felt a huge hunger (because of sugar deficit) accompanied with annoying farts and a racing heart... I went to the kitchen got a banana and went outside to get some air..
My body returned to it's normal state but now I'm still awake... (11 Am).. Idk what to do now and how my body will react till the end of the day without getting any sleep but I most certaintly wont alllow myself to sleep during the day to not mess up my schedule...
Note: You can ask me anything about my diet and any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: I drunk 2 cups of strong coffee in a time lapse of 5 hours after not drinking it for 3 years.. I became a walking radio and an energetic freak but now I'll be awake for more then 30 hours...
RunningLowOnBrain: This sounds like an eating disorder. Fasting for 12 hours a day for 8 months straight? Not having enough energy to make it through the day? That's not healthy.
InformationAdept7411: I actually eat whatever I want (keeping it healthy ofc) during the 8 hours am not fasting, getting all sugars/ vitamines and proteins my body needs , I only started messing out when I started working out and my body started needing more food.
catsarebitches: ...then eat more protein
| 4 | 1 | |
1660999329 | 1661018121 | t3_wt66tl | t5_2to41 | 29 | Wellbeallright: TIFU by kissing my boss.
This wasn't today, but it's only been 36 hours...
So, I have a crush on my new boss. He's unbelievable. We get along very well in the office. But I know things won't happen because, well he's my boss.
We were at this public event he and other coworkers took part in. It was fun, I was super proud of him. But at one point later in the evening I lost my restraint due to alcohol and started touching him. First fuck-up.
With my last working braincell I somehow tried to get space between us again and then talked to other guys (and yes of course getting all touchy with one of them,too).
Then late that night there was an accident nearby and I was first responder and gave first aid. Or tried to. It was the first time I had to do this and all while being drunk. When we came back to our group I felt weird and told him as much. He then took me into his arms and comforted me. I felt super secure and thankful.
And then I did the major fuck up. While ending the hug I kissed his neck.
Everything after this is hazy. I don't know what I said, or what he said right after.
And I feel so bad, I mean I practically assaulted him by kissing without consent.
The next day at work was weird. Because of my behaviour or general hangover, not sure.
I am going to apologize for my inappropriate behaviour on monday. It was wrong, it was without consent.
I'm incredibly stupid and in great fear of ruining our business relationship. We are a great team. Or were...
TL;DR Got drunk and kissed my boss's neck while hugging.
Training-Emu-6113: Stop drinking alcohol and getting drunk. That’s your problem.
Wellbeallright: Yes, I realized that. I don't drink often, but when I do I lose control too easily.
That's why I set myself a goal today: Don't drink again. I don't need it.
I hate that stuff like this has to happen for me to take action.
I want to be a better person.
CranesImprobableView: Hey there! Having an unhealthy relationship to alcohol can take many shapes, including not drinking often but not being able to stop when you start or making choices very different to your values while under the influence. While stopping drinking is a great first step, I would encourage you to see a therapist for any accompanying behaviors that show up when you drink. Because unhealthy boundaries or acting in ways that don’t align with what you want in life have a habit of showing up again if you don’t address them. Your self-awareness is really great right now, I wish you the best of luck!
Wellbeallright: Thank you very much.
Yes, I think you are right. I should go see a therapist.
There are quite a few things I should talk about.
A lot happened these past few months. And even more in the years before.
Bad things happened to me. The less I understand why I'm crossing boundaries like the last time.
| 5 | 5.8 | |
1661001358 | 1661018470 | t3_wt6vfx | t5_2to41 | 459 | Blightedminds: TIFU By eating frozen burritos for dinner and making people think there was a gas leak
So last thursday I decided to have some frozen chimichangas for dinner, they were delicious microwave burritos with half slices of velvetta cheese on top. I had my meal, played some video games, and went to bed. The next morning i wake up for school, and the day generally progressed well, by time the last period hit my stomach was a ton of bricks. During english class we were reading a book, and i let out a few SBD’s, next thing i know everyone is covering their face, i mean like half the classroom, the teacher and students had absolutely no idea where its coming from and thinks theres a gas leak in the building, but then after some investigation the teacher second guesses herself because it was only half the classroom. She then sprayed some febreeze and said whoever made that smell should get seen by a doctor. Thanks for reading!
TL;DR
I had frozen burritos for dinner making the teacher and students question if there was a gas leak because i ripped ass so hard
errol_timo_malcom: I fail to see where the FU occurred.
Narrow-Big7087: The fuck up was not owning it and just letting it rip, thereby asserting dominance.
dendawg: Ah yes, letting it rip…the classic Beyblade fart.
| 4 | 114.75 | |
1661004963 | 1661006475 | t3_wt8620 | t5_2to41 | 24 | ImThe1Wh0: TIFU by laughing at Anakin slaughtering Younglings in Kenobi
So my wife and I are a bit behind the times and we were finally getting around to watching Kenobi. We're really enjoying it together and have been powering thru it. I forgot what episode it is but it's for sure the one with a bunch of flashbacks to Order 66. This is the part where I fucked up.
I get it... Watching kids die or talking about it or seeing it... It's a terrible thing. I saw the scene where Anakin is just mowing down younglings and my brain kinda just filled in the gaps a bit.
Imagine sending your kid to a Star Wars audition, only to find out you're going to watch them get murdered. Now imagine just tons of kids auditioning for this role and then the casting crew asking them to pretty much just kinda flail about realistically over and over again.
With this in mind, coupled with people making fill in the blank memes of Anakin killing then for YEARS, it was quite a sight to see in real life. My brain worked fast and I put all that together in a second and started to just laugh hysterically, while my wife watched on in horror and then staring at me with the same face as I laughed so hard, I was holding my gut.
Now my wife thinks I'm some sorta monster and doesn't understand the references I'm making from all the years of memes but it's still funny to me. Please tell me I'm not the only one who laughed at this scene.
Then again, I was the only one to laugh in the theater watching The Dark Knight, when Joker did his vanishing pencil trick...
TLDR:
Laughed way too hard at this scene and now my wife thinks I'm a horrible person for laughing at children getting murdered
Toolbagg: C'mon, that pencil trick is hilarious.
ImThe1Wh0: It was hilarious!! I felt the eyes of everyone in that theater staring at me after a collected *gasp* of horror from everyone the second it happened.
| 3 | 8 | |
1661004931 | 1661045564 | t3_wt85mh | t5_2to41 | 184 | foxandbees: TIFU by sticking hand sanitizer on my vagina while on my period.
I, like many women, have a little bag I carry with me that contains items I need while out and about while on my period. These include but are not limited to, a small pack of intimate wipes for freshening up, tampons, pads, spare underwear, and a pack of antibacterial hand wipes.
Today is the first day of my period and it's always the worst day. Let's set the scene:
I’m at work, I have a 7 minute break in between appointments (I work in a shop where people come in, have an appointment for a service then leave- think: hairdressing, or waxing). I got my period in the middle of a service about an hour and a half ago and I can already feel my pad in full and gross. I run to the bathroom and start to change it.
It is gross.
I don't want to just put another pad on and go and I’m not in the mood to fuck about with a tampon in this very very small cubical.
I grab my bag of period items, reach in and grab the small pack of intimate wipes. I have 4 minutes until my next appointment and my nether regions look like a war zone. I wipe, quickly and thoroughly while also reaching for a new pad and opening it with one hand and my teeth. I frown.
It tingles.
*It BURNS.*
What the fuck?! I look at the small packet of intimate wipes.
**DISINFECT TO PROTECT**
**ANTI VIRAL**
**ANTI BACTERIAL**
**SANITISER WIPES FOR HANDS**
**KILLS 99% OF VIRUSES AND BACTERIA**
**75% PHARMA GRADE ALCOHOL HOSPITAL GRADE**
**15 WIPES.**
14 wipes now though.
Jesus fucking Christ no.
3 minutes until my appointment.
*Please be late. Please be late. Please be*\-
I hear the door to the shop open.
Oh BTW, I work for myself and don’t have a receptionist or anyone else that works here. I had put a “back in 10 mins” sign up on the door but forgot to lock it.
Fuck.
Why is this happening to me?
I drop the wipes of pain and betrayal and reach for the actual intimate wipes. I use 4 before the burning calms down, while cursing every marketing team in the world who decided that little white packets of wipes look "clean" and "professional" no matter what part of the body they are intended for.
I can hear the confused wanderings of the customer. Her unsure steps on the wooden floor wondering why the lights are off and where the fuck I am.
*Please* go back outside and just look at the door.
1 minute until I’m late for this appointment. I slap the pad into place and yank up my underwear. I flush and it’s too late before I realise that this woman is going to think I’m late to her appointment because I was taking a shit. Is that better than the reality?
I put on my professional face and hope it hides the pain and shame. My vulva is still tingle-burning, and the panic and exertion has made my cramps worse.
I completed the service. And sat down to await the judgement my vagina and vulva will inflict upon me. Thrush? Something else? Or perhaps just the continuation of burning betrayal.
I’m sorry old friend. I did not mean to hurt you.
​
TL;DR: Used "75% PHARMA GRADE ALCOHOL HOSPITAL GRADE" wipes on my vagina and vulva instead of normal intimate wipes. Ended up with burning nether regions
KatiePotatie1986: I'm confused as to why a small toilet stall would make a tampon difficult. I've changed my tampon in an airplane bathroom and I'm fat as fuck, so it was super cramped
foxandbees: Congrats. I just didn't feel like it and pads are easier.
Honeypumpkin3754: So why didn’t you use a pad?
foxandbees: I did?
Honeypumpkin3754: Ok….well…. I didn’t read that part😬
ElHeim: I also was confused about the wording. What she wrote is that she didn't feel like just slapping a new pad and go. Later I understood the implied "without first cleaning thoroughly"
Honeypumpkin3754: Yeah it’s a easy mistake. Not sure why I’m getting downvotes
| 8 | 23 | |
1661005149 | 1661041943 | t3_wt88gj | t5_2to41 | 8,222 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my sister-in-law before my wife and I were together.
[deleted]
Emperor_Pod: Wow. Genuine question: when would be the appropriate time to bring that up? Might not have worked well on the 1st date...
ededpesa: Definitely before marriage. They must have had conversations about past partners. Maybe there would be a good time to bring it up
NapalmRev: Do people really care THAT much about previous partners??
Maybe at 28 I'm used to it being none of my business who my partner has been with before so long as they're not infected/upfront about their infection (most people have HPV for instance)
I would never expect my girlfriend to grill me about my previous partners. Most of them are still my friends and friends with my girlfriend. I can't imagine being in a relationship where who you fucked 10 years ago mattering to me at all.
ededpesa: I agree except when it comes to close friends or family
NapalmRev: Could you help me understand why that feels relevant for you? I truly do not understand
ededpesa: Why would you hide that? It's kind of sus when you see these people regularly
NapalmRev: Hiding implies the question was asked and not answered. I'm saying why does it matter to you who your partner has been with before? It's not like your partner is sloppy seconds.
Why does it matter who* your partner had sex with before to even ask in the first place?
Edit*
I'm not trying to be a dick, I just don't understand feeling like your partners sexual history is relevant outside of disease.
That1one1dude1: 1. Because you really should know about your partner’s life history in general. It helps you better understand them as a person, and someone’s sexual history is part of that.
2. Sexual experiences with someone’s closes friends, even worse someone’s close family can make someone uneasy. It’s one thing to have an ex you’ll never see again, but a past sexual partner you’re guaranteed to interact with in the future? It makes people uneasy.
NapalmRev: 1. Someone's sexual history isn't that important to who they are. That's a really odd idea to me.
2. Again, I'm friends with my girlfriend's exes and she is friends with mine. You appreciate similar people in your lives. That's a positive overall in my opinion, not something that makes me or my friend group uneasy...
I appreciate you sharing your perspective even if I don't see this as important to who a person is. I disagree with your perspective perspective however that this is how things "should" be and the implication that who someone had sex with says something about them as a human being. That's a really reductive way of looking at people.
That1one1dude1: I think it’s weird not to care about someone’s life before you met them, especially their relationships and interactions with other people.
How do you know your gf’s exes? I’m assuming you both are in a small friend group that dates a lot within it?
NapalmRev: Their relationships =/= their sexual partners.
Their relationships are relavent in certain times and conversations only. I don't need to know how long she dated everyone she did. She's welcome to give me that information, and I'm welcome to do the same. But I don't prod and ask her about how her previous relationships are.
I met her exes as events that we all attended and got to know them as humans first and foremost. The fact that they dated once upon a time has nothing to do with our relationship.
I'm saying I don't feel the need to interegate and find out every relationship and sexual partner my girlfriend has had. That's a weird thing to feel entitled to information on and screams insecurity. If you don't trust me to be honest and not cheat on you, we have bigger issues than me hanging out with my ex.
That1one1dude1: Sex absolutely has to do with relationships. Letting someone into your home, your bed, your body. Doing so casually also says something about you (neither good or bad) and is something most people are interested in knowing about. It’s a bit entitled to knowingly withhold information most people value even if you yourself don’t.
You wouldn’t feel weird if your best friend made a joke about how he’s lucky he didn’t knock up your girlfriend, and that’s how you found out they had slept together?
Why would they not have told you? It seems an odd thing not to mention, and in the same way you seem to think others take sex too seriously you seem to be just as serious about not ever talking about it.
NapalmRev: I would feel pretty lucky too. That would be a hard thing for them both to go through since my girlfriend doesn't want to birth children. That's an extremely lucky thing for all involved.
Talking about sex is fine. You don't need to know specifically who when and where of Everytime your partner had sex. "I've tried this before with a partner and liked it/didn't like it" is still talking about sex, you just don't need to know who every mention of sex is about. That's weird to feel the need to know Carson was the one giving a good clit rub while he had her bent over for the first time. The important thing is she wants her clit rubbed while she's bent over, she likes it a lot.
Edit to address your edit: If I don't feel entitled to information about someone, someone should not feel entitled about that information from me. If you had previously shown to not care one bit about one night stands (as in OP) there's no reason to think this one night stand was truly important.
It's not hiding anything that's a need to know. Medical checks are important, not the details of everyone you've had sex with and not every detail of every former relationship needs to be gone over. It's weird to feel that entitled to people's history. If you like them now, you like them now. Who they fucked in the past doesn't effect your relationship unless you're incredibly insecure about something and that should be addressed in therapy, not burdening your partner with the fact you can't stop imagining someone else having sex with them. That says a lot about how entitled a person feels to another person's body and personality.
That1one1dude1: “I’m not hiding anything that’s a need to know.”
That’s the thing, that isn’t for you to decide, is it?
I’m glad you’d feel lucky to have your bestfriend have sex with your girlfriend and for her not to tell you about it, but that is not most peoples reaction, and it’s passive aggressive to blame that on others insecurities.
NapalmRev: You asked "how would you feel if you friend made a joke saying he was lucky he didn't get your girlfriend pregnant" and I answered. You're being disengenuous in your characterizations of my responses.
People's insecurities are a negative and harmful thing. You don't inflict your insecurities on others and then claim it's the reasonable thing to do. That's pathetic.
Bless your heart.
That1one1dude1: “Bless your heart.”
So now you’ve just resulted to passive aggressive insults? I should have seen that coming when you began by “just asking questions.”
NapalmRev: You were passive aggressive most of the conversation and I gave you a blessing to hopefully be better.
You don't get to be snide and passive aggressive and get mad when someone is slightly bent about your rudeness. Re-read your responses. You were prescriptive of ways to be and act in every response. You have some weird hangups on who your partner has been with in the past. I hope that isn't an issue for you and hopefully you find a fulfilling relationship and heal some more :)
That1one1dude1: You’ve literally said you find anyone interested in someone’s past experiences to be only out of insecurity. You’ve called them pathetic and you’ve stroked your own ego on how superior you are.
Now you are trying to make personal attacks on me based on how you imagine me, still in a passive aggressive way.
Seriously, stop beating around the bush and actually insult me if you want, but don’t you think you’re espousing some enlightenment because you and your girl like to fuck around sometimes.
| 19 | 432.736842 | |
1661006630 | 1661017929 | t3_wt8sa5 | t5_2to41 | 122 | Misterfrisker: TIFU by dating a man who convinced me he was single.
This has been going on for 3-4 months now but I found out about it last night.
I (29M) have been dating another guy (46M) for about 3 months; we'll call him Dave. We met on an app and hooked up and kept hooking up until we developed feelings for each other.
We both knew we wouldn't end up together because of different paths of life. So we agreed to have a short term, casual relationship that got kinda strong (but still short term) in a month.
He said he couldn't have me over because his sister is staying with him while she looks for a place. Ok no problem. I explained to him that I'll still be looking around for a relationship that can go somewhere but until then, we can have our fun. He said he's not looking around for anyone else, though I said it was ok if he does, just be safe and all.
He was just a fling. Yes I ended up developing some strong feelings that he reciprocated but we knew we would never work out.
He mentioned where his sister works because we met right by where he dropped her off one day. My friend happened to work in the same company and department so I was talking to my friend and saying hey the guy I'm seeing, his sister actually works with you! Small world! She asked her name, but I didn't know. She asked for a pic, but I didn't have one. So that was the end of that. But I did show her a picture of Dave.
Later, Dave and I were on a date and he ended up dropping his phone in my car. When I fished it out for him, I saw his screen and it said "Jane (same last name): I'll take him to the game tomorrow". Oh! Now I know his sister's name.
Next time I met my friend (earlier this week), I said oh! I do have a name, it's Jane! And my friend said that she's worked with her before.
My friend ended up reaching out to Jane at her desk yesterday and said she immediately froze because there was a picture on Jane's desk of Jane and Dave being wed. My friend said nice picture and asked about Jane's husband and the name Jane gave was D.A.V.E.
She noped away and called me telling me this right away. Turns out, Dave was married the whole time. To a woman. That he said was his sister. Dave didn't have Facebook so I ended up looking up Jane's Facebook and yes, there are more pictures and posts to confirm this.
HOLY SHIT! How did I fall for this? He played it so well, was free often enough, I would have never known. And Jane's text for taking "him" to the game? Yea he has kids. I feel so played by him and can't believe I ended up catching feelings. I have a means to inform the wife with a bunch of evidence including pictures of both of us but not sure if I want to do that or just disappear or what. I would definitely want someone to tell me if my spouse was doing this. Barely slept last night and now I'm all messed up.
TL;DR - Dated a guy who was temporarily living with his sister and months later found out it was actually his wife and he was seeing me in discretion. Not sure if I should bring this up to the wife (they have kids together) or disappear.
333H_E: I think you should address the deception with Dave and leave his family out of it. Yes what he's doing is not okay but he's obviously conflicted living a closeted lifestyle. That calls for compassion not condemnation. He has to make his peace with that division in his life, your issue is with the dynamic between you two. Don't hurt the innocents out of spite, your karma deserves better than that.
NukeWarz: OP can't hurt anyone but Dave, Dave is hurting his wife and kids through infidelity. Only Dave. Him being gay doesn't make it somehow okay.
333H_E: My best friends dad lived married raised a family and was a good husband/father. When the kids were grown and out of the house he divorced their mom, came out as gay and spent the rest of his life with a male partner. The internal sadness he had loving his children but not being able to live his true self was pretty harsh. Though by all accounts he was faithful to his vows.
Yes Dave is out on his wife but I think Dave has a similar struggle to be honest with himself. That's his story to tell not op's. OP can choose not to participate now that he knows but outing someone is never a thing done from a good place.
NukeWarz: He can let the wife know about the infidelity without outing Dave as gay. Straight married people can also cheat, and it's equally damaging.
This story isn't just Dave's. It stopped being his alone when he married a person and made more people. His wife deserves to know she is being cheated on.
333H_E: I'm not really sure how one can separate the infidelity from the nature of it in this case. I get your indignation here I just think there's more than that at stake. Dave is struggling with personal identity. So you tell his wife, divorce ensues, dave is outed. It stands to reason dave doesn't have a tolerant support system otherwise he could have lived as gay in the first place rather than needing a "traditional" family cover. So now Dave is ostracized, full of self hate and loathing made to feel his sexuality is inherently bad. Dave od's on meds, no more Dave. The same could be said for the wife, she is now shamed " why wasn't I enough" bad spiral happens which also affects the children.
Does she need to know, yes she does. Is dropping a nuke the way to do it? No, not without a ton of collateral damage. Dave needs some help through the crosswalk to get to acceptance of who he is. Pushing the family in front of a bus doesn't accomplish the same thing.
DeedyScandalQueenie: Here's another scenario - life continues, blissfully unaware for Dave and Jane. Dave finds a new secret boyfriend, Phil. Despite all precautions, Dave and Phil are found out- they'd gone to the game and at the last minute Jane has brought their son to the game. Jane is devastated and ODs on meds. Family unit is torn apart. The kids never speak to Dave again.
There's lots of hypothetical scenarios. I agree the closeted nature does add a layer of complexity, if Dave was cheating on his wife with a woman it would be much more clear cut (scum! Off with his head etc). I think the path Dave has chosen will eventually mean things hit the fan. And Jane does deserve to know, this is the man she married and has a family with. Dave has built a house of cards and the road he's chosen means it's at risk of collapsing everyday, if not with OP then with someone else.
333H_E: I don't disagree with that. I'm simply saying with what OP has told us it's not beneficial to his universal currency to pull the pin on that grenade. Dave may continue and he may be found out but that is squarely on Dave's shoulders at that point. His Karma to balance. Op can encourage Dave to do the right thing, stop living the lie and deal with the issue in house in ways that don't unnecessarily traumatize everyone more than they have to be. Who knows, among themselves ( dave and wife) they may be able to do therapy and find a balance that embraces a different direction for them. One inclusive of Dave's bisexual nature while keeping the peace. But once you add public scorn, ridicule, judgement that option us out the window.
Dave is doing a bad thing but that doesn't necessarily make him a bad person. The fact that there's feelings here and Dave has been comfortable waiting for op instead of just hopping onto the next boy toy says a lot. It doesn't sound like just a homoerotic fetish but a deeper internal struggle.
DeedyScandalQueenie: Dave lied to OP about everything - hard to believe he's "comfortable waiting for OP" - for all anyone knows he could anything from 1 (we know he has a wife) to 10 other partners. Sure, his sexual orientation may be a cause of hidden trauma and exposing it could be detrimental - but this is not the only plausible theory. And Dave being in the closet doesn't negate Jane being cheated on or living a lie. His sexual orientation doesn't mean HE gets to hurt multiple people.
333H_E: I'm not at all saying orientation excuses his actions and I apologize if it translates that way. The premise here is OP asking what he should do. The short version is have a talk with Dave about the betrayal and walk away. End of story, dave's shit may blow up in his face one way or another. I simply don't think it's healthy for OP to be the catalyst of that explosion.
On a side note, I have a friend who was married to a woman who was stepping out on him. Not too subtly either. She was seen all over town by multiple people who of course told our friend. He didn't want to hear it. Ended decades long friendships over people telling him what he wasn't ready to accept. But then, he reached his own point of suspicion and in the most brutally self inflicted way possible he found out for sure. He hid a camera in a Christmas stocking, told her he was going somewhere for a few hours and then parked down the street. Watched his neighbor step over to his house and spend some time inside with his wife. Came home, acted normal and later watched the video. Exactly what you think was on it was. Now he's an exceptionally good guy so he just kicked her out and filed for divorce. I just find it crazy THAT'S the way he chose to find out. Not really related but all the infidelity talk reminded me of it.
| 10 | 12.2 | |
1661008527 | 1661120157 | t3_wt9ifs | t5_2to41 | 8 | nugget_eater_7298: TIFU by going outside at 1am
so here its 1am, couldn’t sleep, using my phone etc etc. i, (14m), had just out my phone away bc it was about to go flat. i then decided, oh, let’s go take a walk around my back yard. y know, normal things a 14yo dude does at 1am. we recently bought our neighbours block, subdivided and sold the front portion of the block with the house on it. anyway, i was walking down there, went into the old carport. since there was still some landscaping being done, there was a bit of builders stuff left, so i take a stanley knife. i have a look at my painting that i started the other day, then took my posca pens to take them inside. i then start walking back. THEN, i heard a horrible screeching noise. it was a mix between someone choking a cat and a bird being possessed by a demon. the new neighbours who moved into the house have a small dog, it could have been the dog (however unlikely). i was absolutely frozen. the noise was so loud, so horrifying and so close to me. i walked as silently as i could back inside and am now laying in my bed fucking traumatised. what the fuck could that have been.
tldr: went outside at 1am heard a fucking scary ass noise
AcrobaticSource3: > a fucking scary ass noise
FYI, an “ass noise” is called a “fart”
nugget_eater_7298: *scary ass, noise
sandbirde: *scary-ass noise
nugget_eater_7298: thanks lmao
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1661009269 | 1661061262 | t3_wt9sph | t5_2to41 | 25 | rainstorm22: TIFU by purchasing from Carvana
Tl:dr at bottom
Backstory: A few months ago, my husband and I lost both of our cars. Both unexpectedly broke down and neither were worth the repairs as they were 15+ years old.
So here’s where the FU begins. In June I ordered a car off of carvana with their financing. I was quoted a max of 8.6% APR and that was about what I was going to be charged for the car. No biggie. At the delivery time, they call and say they’re running behind. Also no biggie. Then they call back and say when they started my car, a whole bunch of warning lights came on. They said they’d repair it and gave me a new delivery time of a week later. Still no biggie.
Fast forward to the next week and they’re running late again. They say they’re about to close and ask me to come pick the car up myself. I’m close by so I don’t mind. I pick the car up and drive it 10 minutes home. The next day, I start the car and a ton of warnings come up. I go through Carvana’s warranty company, SilverRock, and initiate repairs. The repair facility that was recommended took a week to look at the car only to come back and tell me that they wouldn’t be able to repair it and I should just return the car. So I return the car.
I start looking at cars on Carvana again, but the interest rates are much higher than what I was quoted (like 13% APR instead of the max 8.6% I was supposed to have). I call Carvana and ask about the discrepancy. They have me send screen shots to verify my original terms and their expiration date. I send screenshots from my account page where it still shows the terms. They recognize my terms are valid, make note of it in my account, but tell me that only their underwriter can change interest rates. They call the underwriter and the underwriter says that they are only willing to change interest rates AFTER I purchase the car, even though both parties admit the terms Carvana quoted me are valid.
Thinking I just got unlucky, I get a loan through Bank of America (who gave me 5% APR) and purchase a second car through Carvana at the end of July. An hour before my delivery time (on a Monday), I get a text and email that my delivery has been delayed because it failed state inspection. They reschedule for Tuesday. 1.5 hours before my delivery time, I call for an update. I’m told the car will be ready Thursday instead. On Thursday, I get another text and email that the delivery is pushed to the following Thursday (2 days ago).
Thursday rolls around and I call for an update half an hour before my delivery time. They tell me my car has been repaired. My advocate reaches out to me 10 minutes before my appointment time to tell me he’s running half an hour late. Just like last time, no biggie. Then like 25 minutes later, I get a call. My car is too dirty inside for Carvana standards so they offer to order me an Uber while they clean it and then I can just drive it home. I accept.
Then they tell me it’s going to take a while to clean it because it’s so dirty. 40 minutes later I call for an update. They get the advocate who tells me that while cleaning, they discovered that the inside of my car has a bunch of damage that was not reported when I purchased the car. The advocate says he has never seen a car from Carvana that new (2017) with that much interior damage. Had had also not seen a car from them that dirty. He tells me he guesses it was used for construction because of all of the sediment he had to clean out of the car. He also says that Carvana won’t fix any of the damages.
At this point, I don’t want the car. I’m not paying a good quality price for a bad quality car. I explain the the advocate that I don’t have another car and briefly talk about my last experience. The advocate assures me that if I initiate an exchange in 7 days, I can hold onto the damaged car until the new car arrives.
So I picked up the car and drove it home, but now I think there may be other issues with it. When I drove it, it seemed to be having trouble switching gears. Anytime I would get to the point where it should have switched, it just revved really high for like 15 seconds before switching. It feels really off when I accelerate. So now we’re pretty much back to no car and a lot of questions. Neither of us have financed a car before this and I’m terrified of in person sales so I really don’t want to go to an actual lot.
tldr: bought a car from Carvana. It was given to me broken and couldn’t be repaired. Bought another car from Carvana. It was also broken, but was repaired after delaying the delivery. The advocate told me it was the worst interior he’s seen for a car that new from Carvana. I picked the car up anyway (for temporary use) and it seems to be broken. Now I have a broken car and a lot of questions about switching to another car/dealer.
gditchgang: Why did you still go to carvana after the first messed up car?
rainstorm22: I had heard great things about them from other people and assumed the first car was a fluke. Prices were better than other places I looked and I like their return policy. I’m terrified of shopping at a lot so I really wanted to do something all online
RealtdmGaming: Go to a dealership, find a good one, they might be a pain in the ass but there not as a big a pain as carvanas shenanigan.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1661011532 | 1674193170 | t3_wtaod5 | t5_2to41 | 120 | The_Zoink: TIFU By sending a cat dick pic to my work group chat
This literally happened a couple minutes ago and I’m fucking gonna die.
I saw a meme online when I was scrolling on Twitter of a Sphinx cat laying on its back you could see his nuts, and my brother refused to look when I was showing him the picture. So I cropped out the nuts and sent it to my brother so that I could make him uncomfortable
Then I looked at him and realized I did NOT send it to him, because it did not pop up onto his phone screen, it went to my work group chat that has sixteen people in it. so I went back and tried to delete it.
But here’s no option for that. It only lets me delete it on my end and for no one else. So I had to explain myself, send the real pic (cropping out the cat dick), people are laughing at me and making fun of me. my boss hasn’t responded. But I feel like I’m going to fucking die. I Tried calling him and it went straight to voicemail after ringing once. So I really don’t know what to think about that.
I don’t know what to do, I want to just die and I’m worried I’ll be fired over this. And if I don’t, I’m NEVER going to live it down…
Fuck my life
TL:DR I sent a meme of a naked cat with its dick and balls hanging out to my works group chat instead of my brother, and now I feel like dying.
speedycat2014: Need to know what you do for a living to gauge if this is really a FU. Because if you work in a kitchen, that's just a regular Saturday
The_Zoink: I work in telecom and make really good money. If this was just any other job, I would probably just quit. But I’m making more than double what the minimum wage is where I’m at.
So yeah, I’m shitting bricks right now
CarBombtheDestroyer: Keep us posted! I wanna know what the boss says.
Boss just responds with a personal message of them in a fury suit hahaha.
The_Zoink: Looking back at my old posts, I never updated on this lol.
I still have my job. And in fact, my boss didn’t even see it until I apologized to him myself. He was confused, then I said “you didn’t see what I sent in the chat?” To which he said no.
Then he scrolls on his phone, sees the cat dick. And just walks away saying “be careful next time”
It was a horrible experience lol. But could have gone worse
CarBombtheDestroyer: Haha thank for the update
| 6 | 20 | |
1661015046 | 1661116641 | t3_wtc1td | t5_2to41 | 6,182 | ActuallyNotRetarded: TIFU by popping a pimple on my balls
Not today but some years ago and just now cringing at the memory of it all
When I was at the innocent age of 11 I noticed a few bumps on my balls. They weren't painful/sensitive like pimples, but I'm pretty sure they were some kind of cystic thing. They were just a few bumps that were slightly opaque whitish in color suggesting there was puss inside. I didn't think much of it and just figured they'd go away on their own over time.
Fast forward to when I'm 14ish and these things haven't gone away, but have grown in size slightly. I figured fuck it, let's pop em.
I started off with just one, the biggest one, which was probably triple in size to the other 2. I just went in and tried popping it.
You know how normal pimples have liquid puss but there are other types of pimples/cysts/whatever that have a more solid puss? Yeah these had solid puss, so it was pretty hard to squeeze all of it out. I went a little overboard trying to get the last bit out but just couldn't. After trying so hard, I was a bit sore in the area and didn't wanna push any further so I just cleaned up, threw on my undies and went about my day.
Over the course of the day, I felt my balls get more and more sore where I popped the pimple. I just tried carrying on while nonstop thinking about how I couldn't wait to get home and inspect the damage done earlier.
Finally get home, run up to my room, and drop my pants. Ew. It's a lil bloody and a lil pussy (lol). I clean it up to see what I'm dealing with. Looks like it kind of popped itself again? But it's still not over, I still see plenty of puss is still inside. So I grab my trusty tweezers and *open up the little hole that was leaking all day even more* to make it easier to squeeze out the solid puss left over. I felt like I was doing surgery on myself.
Once I opened up the hole a bit more, I squeezed and was able to get almost everything out.....almost. There was still a tiny bit of white left inside that I could see, but just wouldn't come out with a squeeze. I knew I had to get it ALL out for it to heal over well so I didn't give up.
Here comes the grossest part.
So I use my trusty tweezers to poke around in the open hole (wound) and grip the last white piece left over and start pulling. Oh. My. God. It didn't hurt at all, but it was really stuck to the inside of my skin. I had to pull pretty hard - my balls looked like a plastic bag being stretched by pulling on it in two different directions.
So I'm pulling on it with tweezers begging it to come out then
...*snap*. And *audible* noise comes from my balls as I finally pull it out.
I think it was the cyst "sack" or something? Whatever it was, I'm glad I committed to it because afterwards, I cleaned it up and it looked pretty decent. It healed up perfectly over the next couple days.
I cannot describe to you the duality of my feelings of relief and horror as I heard that snap. Whatever. It's finally over.
I ended up leaving the two smaller bumps alone.
TL;DR: I had a big pimple/cyst on my balls. Took two tries to pop it. Second time I had access to the cyst sack and ripped it out with an audible *snap*.
Edit: If this happens to you guys, go to the frickin doctor. As an adult, I realize I could've risked losing my nuts. It's just not worth it!
Edit 2: I for some reason had an immensely compelling feeling to tell someone this story, I think it's because I wanted to share the relief of it all with someone. Or just wanted to gross out a few lurkers I guess. But all you disgusting degenerates put me on the front page. My first time ever having a post blow up and it's about my fuckin nutsack.
Edit 3: A lot of people are asking about the other two bumps. Mentioned this in the comments but, ironically enough, those did go away on their own...
Darksoulpk68: You make me want to pop mines. I have 2 small/medium cysts on the sack and been dealing with these suckas for at least 15 years. Man was it worth it ?
CakeAccomplice12: You know there's this thing called a doctor right?
wolven8: American Healthcare means that we gotta wait a few years until we're sure it's a problem
Sam-Culper: Yeah, but 15
crystal-rooster: If it's just there and doesn't hurt it isn't a problem.
Sam-Culper: That's very much not true
crystal-rooster: It is for 110 million Americans, including me.
Sam-Culper: Lol no it's not. A lot of things that don't hurt will kill you a lot faster than 15 years.
crystal-rooster: Go read the rest of my replies and learn something.
Sam-Culper: Go learn to communicate
crystal-rooster: Whatever dipshit
Sam-Culper: >If it's just there and doesn't hurt it isn't a problem.
Will never be true
crystal-rooster: Check your privilege.
Sam-Culper: Well whaddya know it's still not true
| 15 | 412.133333 | |
1661015603 | 1661024877 | t3_wtc9ml | t5_2to41 | 13 | Bigsassyblackwoman: TIFU by buying hot and ready pizza
yesterday my friends and i wanted to marathon a movie series so i went to go get a pizza from little caesars, i got there and got my pizza directly from the oven thing that they put the pizza in when they finish cooking
i put the hot pizza on the passenger seat and turn off back onto the freeway, and the passenger sign goes off and starts beeping to put on the seatbelt. i figure that it senses a person there because its heat activated or something so i try to get it with my right hand and i pick it up. while holding it, at the same time, some jackass cuts into my lane without signals on and i have to violently brake. to be safe i put the pizza on my lap.
i forgot it was HOT n ready, and i put it directly on my bare legs because im wearing shorts and it immediately starts searing my thighs. i start screaming in pain and i start swerving on the road. instinctively try to fling the box off of me, but i grab the corner of the box and as i fling it off me the box actually opens and half the pizza tumbles out all over the car stick. i go all the way to the right to clean up the mess and im honestly also having a slight panic attack, luckily i get everything back in there and my car is just slightly greasy. im about to turn signal to go back on the road until i notice a police car that was behind me. i guessed he followed me after i started swerving and turned off the road. the officer came out, asked if i was ok, and was kind of confused when i told him about the pizza thing but he ultimately let me go. my friends liked the pizza.
tldr: little caesar sentenced me to death but i got away
fleshjenn: Why didnt you just ignore it?
Its not like the car is gonna shut itself off because you didnt put the seatbelt on.
esulleyy: Have you never experienced a seat belt warning beep? Probably the most annoying thing ever - drives me nuts. I absolutely would have done the same thing as OP just to avoid that irritating noise!
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1661016813 | 1661058188 | t3_wtcqgk | t5_2to41 | 9 | ddon1b: TIFU by breaking something that means a lot to this girl i just started talking to
So I just started talking to this girl I met and we’ve really hit it off these past few weeks. We’ve hung out for hours literally every single day since we met. She’s pretty reserved to most ppl but i’d really open w me.
Fast forward to yesterday and she lets me wear this ring (polished wood maybe?) that means a lot to her (gift from relative). Today i’m cleaning my room and smack my finger against a bedpost (metal). Probably doesn’t help that I was finger drumming a few minutes prior. The ring breaks into three clean pieces. It should be a super easy fix w super glue, but I’m sick because of the fact that it still happened. Repairing/replacing doesn’t negate the fact that I broke something that means a lot to this wonderful girl (she’s probably the sweetest, most genuine girl i’ve talked to romantically). Idk, im gonna call her now. Will post update.
Tl;Dr: broke something of great sentiment to this girl i started dating two weeks ago. easy to repair, but it still happened
UPDATE: i talked to her about and she actually thought it was hilarious that i thought she’d be mad. she’s been giving me shit for the last 7 hours hahaha
sandbirde: If it meant that much to her, she wouldn't have let you wear it. If it does mean that much to her and she still let you wear it, it was a nice but poorly thought out gesture. Letting other people handle precious items of yours is always a gamble, as you cannot prevent them from damaging or losing it. It's a symbol of trust.
Don't try to fix it yourself. Bring the pieces back to her, apologize, and ask her what she'd like done about it. Offer to pay to have it fixed if she wants.
ddon1b: i talked to her about and she actually thought it was hilarious that i thought she’d be mad. she’s been giving me shit for the last 7 hours hahaha.
| 3 | 3 | |
1661017037 | 1661018704 | t3_wtctkv | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU telling my girlfriend I've already seen the spicy photos she was planning to give me.
[deleted]
sandbirde: Dude...you knew exactly what was gonna be at that link. I'm not saying you're some master manipulator. I'm just saying don't play dumb. You made a deliberate and bad choice. I don't know if I'd personally end a relationship over it, but I'd be pissed.
r0ndy: Eh, you send a sexy photo and a link. You can't be mad when someone goes to the link...
| 3 | 21.666667 | |
1661018279 | 1661019395 | t3_wtdaaw | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by fingering a girl on her period
[deleted]
fancy_leftovers: Poor you.
drum-monkey: I thought it was more funny than sad
| 3 | 2 | |
1661019556 | 1661859701 | t3_wtds2s | t5_2to41 | 186 | Buthewasntinacave: TIFU by popping a mole on my vagina
This happened last night. Tl;dr at the bottom.
For context: years ago I discovered a dark spot on the outer lips of my vagina. I initially thought it might be a blackhead. A small squeeze did nothing, so I figured it was just a mole. I have skin that's been prone to growing moles here and there (mostly when I was a kid/teenager) so I guessed it was just another one to add to the collection.
I thought it was an odd place to grow, but thought nothing more of it, and life continued with no changes or worries.
Until tonight.
I was due to go to a party, and had a bit of time to kill so I decided to trim and groom the landscape a little, as I do from time to time. The mole sort of felt a little more bumpy and larger than usual, and for whatever reason, I felt the urge to just give it a gentle squeeze.
Well, it popped. And out came a TIDAL WAVE of blood.
I quickly grabbed some tissues to apply pressure and before I knew it, I had soaked one tissue. Then another. Then another. I kid you not, this thing would NOT stop bleeding.
I tried applying pressure for a solid ten minutes, thinking the bleeding had slowed. I hopped in the shower to clean up the blood off of my thighs and around my lady bits, only to find it was still bleeding after I had gotten out and had run down my legs in a steady stream. I noticed it had also dripped on my carpet.
I was still soaking tissues with blood and at this point was feeling a mix of mild panic and impressed at how this thing was so small yet left such a fucking mess its wake. I slapped a bandaid on it, since I couldn't have it soaking through my undies, and left it alone for a while.
After 2 hours, FINALLY this thing stopped bleeding, and now looks like it did at first- like a little mole. The bandaid was a bitch to rip off. My poor vagina ;(
So I want to say, it was never a mole, but a blood blister I guess? But if anyone has had this happen or knows what it could be, please do tell.
tl;dr: I squeezed what I thought was a mole on my vagina- which ended up being a blood blister that bled non-stop for 2 hours.
knottyboix69: Got a pic of it? I would actually recommend getting it checked out; especially since you thought it grew.
Automatic_River_8180: "Yeah but do you got pics tho" 🤣🤣🤣
RelevantMammoth84: By Naughty Boy X 69 no less!! 🤣🤣🤣
Automatic_River_8180: The word they used isn't "naughty" and oh boy when you know what the actual connotations are 🤮💀
RelevantMammoth84: Well now i'm curious, the ref I have is shampoo for dreds...
Automatic_River_8180: I literally cant bring myself to tell you what it means. I cant morally tell you to google it either. All I'll say is "furry" shit
RelevantMammoth84: I just can't decide wether I'm missing our or blessed by ignorance! 🤣
| 8 | 23.25 | |
1661019445 | 1661028787 | t3_wtdqkw | t5_2to41 | 177 | NotAHockeyGuy: TIFU by bringing an adult toy as a birthday gift to my wife's gay boss
We were invited to a birthday party for my wife's boss. It was at the office they work at, after the workday yesterday. My wife got the invite last minute at work yesterday, and called me to ask me to go run to the store and get a gift. Literally the only thing she had time to tell me was that "You're a guy, figure it out, he's a big Blackhawks fan, and it's a Blackhawks theme party. I gotta run but please get something and meet at 6 outside the building so I can let you in."
I had never met the guy before, the only things I knew about his personal life were that he has a husband and that he founded this small company (employs 30 people).
So, with the limited vague instructions I had, I went to an adult store. I purchased a large, black dildo in the shape of a penis (I was extremely uncomfortable during the checkout process). I mentioned it was a gift so they wrapped it up nicely for me, and I went back home to chill for an hour before getting dressed and heading to her work.
As soon as I got there, I knew I had made a BIG MISTAKE. The entire office was covered with Blackhawks jerseys, pictures, you name it. I did not know, until yesterday, that the Blackhawks were a sports team. I had understood that it was a "Big Black Co#$" theme party, hence the gift. I tried to back away from the room but my wife saw me and called me over to her (she was mid-conversation with her boss) to introduce me. We shook hands and he saw the gift in my left hand and said "Ahh Mike you didn't need to get anything, but thank you! What is it?" as he took it from me. I didn't know what to say so he began to open the gift and a look of shock came over his face. Thankfully, his reaction was to burst out laughing and he thought it was a joke. People all around us began to laugh their asses off. My wife, meanwhile, was mortified - I got quite the talking to.
TLDR; Misunderstood my wife's instructions for a birthday gift, brought an adult toy instead of Blackhawks gear
MudandWhisky: Best possible outcome given the circumstances lol
NotAHockeyGuy: Yes, for a couple seconds I literally thought she may get fired or something...
risingstanding: Don't want her to get fired. Then your only income will come from your dumbass posting on reddit
| 4 | 44.25 | |
1661020122 | 1661213598 | t3_wtdzpv | t5_2to41 | 13 | South5: TIFU went to bed with my gf and ended up like a murder scene
Jess and i were getting frisky and went to my bedroom for some hanky panky, she looked in my nightstand for condoms and lube but noticed a blue pill a friend gave me ages ago, she knew what it was and asked me to take it. I took it, trouble is it takes 30/60 mins to kick in so we went back to watching tv for about an hour. Time passed and an hour later we started up again, she always preferred with the lights turned down so i complied. We got down to it foregoing the protection and getting stuck in. About two minutes later she became very slippery, like extremely so, then i noticed a tangy smell, i flicked the light on…
There was blood. Lots of blood. Covered my hands, handprint on her chest, all over my cock and bollocks, on my legs all over the duvet and sheets, on the pillow and light switch, looked like we had slaughtered an animal in the bed.
Got cleaned up but it kinda killed the mood.
Tl;dr: sexy time, lady gets her period as we start copulating resulting in almost bloodbath in bed. Hence murder scene.
Kimmm711: r/TIFU is getting as bad as r/confessions with the bad porn journal entries. Do better, Mods.
South5: Oi, i actually post something that happened and i get this kind if reaction? Thank you reddit. Thanks a lot. Negative responses all the way. Thank you cynical ppl. Thanks a lot. Why do i bother.
guardian2428: Just look at their profile it's all TV show clips and references
Kimmm711: Yeah, cuz posts & comments solely about video games are better
guardian2428: Not all of us live on reddit. So find the need to post incessantly. I've made maybe 4 posts in a year as opposed to your maybe 12 in a month. At least games require interaction and some type of thinking as opposed to sitting on your grandmothers couch eating cheetos off ya gut while you binge the latest keeping up with crapdashians
Kimmm711: Never watched an episode of that shitshow. Don't live on reddit, either. You gonna dish it out, be prepared to take it is all I'm sayin
| 7 | 1.857143 | |
1661021800 | 1661046669 | t3_wtemh7 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a move to be more intimate with my girlfriend if one year
[deleted]
Lord_Cockwood: How do you cure porn addiction with abstinence?
wain13001: Srsly, abstinence is a treatment for chafing...that's about it.
| 3 | 5 | |
1661022545 | 1661023162 | t3_wtewkv | t5_2to41 | 4 | An3m0s: TIFU by taking away candy from a child
So, I just went to the supermarket to buy some groceries for the weekend. As it's usually crowded and noisy therebI like to bring my in-ears and listen to some music. In front of me at the checkout line were a father and his daughter. As I was unloading my grocery, thinking about some work-related stuff and completely focused, I vaguely noticed her saying something about candy. While they were already waiting for the cashier scanning their stuff I looked up and saw her staring directly at me. I just shrugged it off as children being weird and didn't think much about it.
Then when they were done and my grocies were being scanned, I took off my in-ears so that I could hear the cashier and noticed the father saying something along the lines of: "Sorry, sweetie, he couldn't hear us, he was wearing headphones." I looked to my right and suddenly it dawned on my that I was blocking the shelf with the candies the whole time and the little girl wanted to buy some of them.
I looked back at them, but they were already too far away for me to apologize without shouting through the store. All I could do was standing there, staring at them, thinking "Oh my god, she wanted me to move, but I was wearing headphones, I couldn't hear her." It's just a minor occurence, but I still feel absolutely terrible about it. Apparently I would steal candy from a child, at least by being an oblivious douchebag.
TL;DR: Child wanted me to move so that she could buy candy, but I didn't hear her due to wearing headphones.
Vennishier: I mean at least you didn't actually take candy away from a child. You just stopped a child from obtaining candy for purchase
An3m0s: Technically yes, but the former sounds better as a post title.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1661023098 | 1661028019 | t3_wtf41t | t5_2to41 | 990 | [deleted]: TIFU Update 4; ex friend burns 8k of Pokémon cards
[removed]
Leaddore: "Yes sir, they were just pieces of cardboard, worth over $8000, now if you don't have $8000 in your pocket to give me, I must ask you to leave and only contact me through my lawyer..."
Ok-Watch8193: I had so much anxiety. Like he started calling me slurs when he went to leave.
Toemism: > I feel for his family because **they’re not bad people**. How they raised such a pos like Cole is beyond me. I understand his dads point of view but then again I can’t.
They ***are*** bad people. Cole turned out that way because they allowed it. His dad saying to drop it with no consciences to Cole proves this. His son doing bad things his fine in his eyes as it usually does not directly effect him. Have no sympathy from them at all, they clearly have none for you.
If my son pull something this horrible to someone else, I might not be able to afford to replace it all but I sure as hell would take everything from my son and give it to you and do my best to make it right. That is what good people do.
Ok-Watch8193: I guess I was trying to be optimistic
rhamled: Don't be optimistic, be $8,000
Ok-Watch8193: 🤣🥺 top tier comment
| 7 | 141.428571 | |
1661027837 | 1661105492 | t3_wtguxn | t5_2to41 | 24 | Unsuccessful_Jacki_3: TIFU by telling my brother how I really feel
(I won't be using their real names for private reasons) For context, my brother is 5 years older than me (Tom) and we have a younger sister(Jay). We had a really bad childhood. I won't go into to much detail but at one point we had to go to foster care. We were split up though. After a year me and Jay were sent to go live with our dad 4 states away from our brother. While me and Jay were living with him we were abused and neglected by him for a while. One night he almost killed me and that's when I told the police. Now me and Jay are living with a nice family we were adopted by while our bother still lives with his foster family.
Anytime I try to text Tom to tell him about our life he just ignores me. Always declines my calls and never looks at my text. I haven't talk to him for months until today. I was fed up with him and I called him a bitch. Not in a disrespectful way but in a joking way. (Me and Jay always cuss each other out in a joking way)
A few minutes after I sent the text he calls me. And of course I pick up thinking that I can tell him a few things but as soon as I pick up the phone he's yelling at me telling him that I can't disrespect him like that and that I should be ashamed of myself. I told him that I was sorry and I meant it as a joke but he wasn't taking that. I just hung up and then he texted me telling me that he was sorry for yelling at me and that his life is so hard and that's why he yelled at me.
I saw the text and I decided to tell him how I really feel about everything. My text reads as the following.
'You act like it's just so easy for me. Like I'm not struggling. Just a few fucking months ago I was being abused and neglected by my own father. I wanted to kill myself every single night. I only tell you the good things because I want to look strong, like the bad things don't bother me because I'm still alive. This proves that we don't have a good sibling relationship. Me and Jay are able to say whatever we want to each other and only have it be a problem when it's really personal. I can't even make a joke with you. I was going to have a good day today. I was thinking 'hey,I can talk to my family without feeling fucking miserable.' but no. Things always fucking get to me because I was never told as a kid that I can talk to someone. Now I still bottle everything up because I'm afraid. Both of our live aren't great, but at least you didn't have to live with dad again. At least you don't know the truth about why he's like that. At least you don't know why mom stayed with him for so long. I was just a fucking kid who was told everything to soon. You are able to bottle up and throw away your feelings like it's nothing. Sometimes I wonder if you even want me to be your sister. I wonder if you think that I'm just a waste of space and life. Do you think that Tom. Do you think that I'm just a waste of space. I can't even tell, because of how much you hate talking to me. You won't tell me anything. I'm fucking tired Tom.
I honestly don't know why I told him everything. While I was typing that, Jay decided to text him and told him that he can't talk to me like that and that he should be ashamed for yelling at me even though I told the truth. (She says I'm not wrong for calling him a bitch) He then spam calls her until she picks up. And he told her the same thing that he told me.
I'm not sure if I fucked up that bad but still.
What should I do when he texts back?
TL;DR
lovelyhappyface: Are you seeing a therapist? I’m an old lady and still have issues with my siblings and communication because of trauma. I wish I would have started therapy as soon as I left home
Unsuccessful_Jacki_3: Unfortunately no, I am not seeing a therapist. I can't afford one and I don't want to ask my family about one either. They've already done so much for me and my sister.
lovelyhappyface: Would it be okay if I shared a book recommendation with you?
Unsuccessful_Jacki_3: Sure. I would love one.
lovelyhappyface: Co-dependent no more by https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/codependent-no-more-how-to-stop-controlling-others-and-start-caring-for-yourself_melody-beattie/248965/item/623522/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIiPm27qfY-QIVWWxvBB0C1AlSEAQYASABEgI5m_D_BwE#isbn=0894864025&idiq=623522&edition=1865583
And https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/adult-children-of-emotionally-immature-parents-how-to-heal-from-distant-rejecting-or-self-involved-parents_lindsay-c-gibson/9845889/item/12128827/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7Ji-_afY-QIV7BPUAR0Qaw2ZEAQYBCABEgLpAfD_BwE#idiq=12128827&edition=9288362
You can find the second one at target for $10
Unsuccessful_Jacki_3: Thank you so much. I'll be sure to read these when I can.
lovelyhappyface: You’re welcome. It helps you understand why you do the things you do, and pretty much to help you focus on yourself.
| 8 | 3 | |
1661030073 | 1661088444 | t3_wthoks | t5_2to41 | 2,432 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on a second date with a girl way out of my league
[deleted]
pogiguy2020: If she stayed with you and does not ghost you then this is not a FU really.
FYI just because you think she is out of your league does not mean she thinks that.
cptspeirs: That's apparently true. I think my partner is leagues beyond me. Shit. We arent even playing the same sport. I'm playing American hand egg and she's playing champions league. Or so I think. She vehemently disagrees and will throw hands with me on that point.
Farknart: "American hand egg" wtf
Arrasor: Mostly only played by Americans, using hands, with an egg shaped ball sooooooo.... check out to me.
lewphone: As opposed to kickball? Running around, kicking the ball & randomly falling down.
Stornahal: Nobody randomly falls down in kickball - either the other side is trying to break a players ankle or they spend hours practising so the ref will give them a free kick for outstanding acting.
cptspeirs: "For outstanding acting." I fucking love it.
| 8 | 304 | |
1661029837 | 1661036335 | t3_wthldp | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally spilling sauce on my girlfriends comforter.
[deleted]
JimmiRustle: #SA: Comforter means duvet or quilt.
I was confused too.
Phil_Swift_God: Yes I completely forgot all of those are the same thing thank you!
JimmiRustle: I’ve never even heard anybody refer to it as a comforter before.
Phil_Swift_God: I’m not sure I usually just hear people refer to it as a comforter must be an east coast or American thing. I rarely hear people call them duvets unless they are talking about the cover and I’ve only heard people say quilt when it’s something that’s knitted or crocheted or sewn together by someone.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1661030654 | 1661031508 | t3_wthwgp | t5_2to41 | 17 | throwaway4554935: TIFU by not using the restroom before hiking
My friends and I (M22) decided to go on a 3-mile hike together today. The night before, we had a couple of drinks and a bunch of snacks and this morning we had some sushi and other snacks. Like an absolute idiot who hasn't been on many hikes before, I didn't use the restroom before I left for the hike. About half a mile in, my stomach was bothering me a bit, but I pushed it off thinking I would be able to hold it in. Big mistake.
At the one mile mark, my stomachache was getting worse. The hike was extremely steep and it was really making many of my muscles strain; and by many, I mean the ones that make you want to poop. It was pretty bad, but I really didn't want to go back because then my friends would also need to go back with me because we carpooled together. And, like an absolute idiot, I thought I would be able to hold it in and find a bathroom on the way or something. Bigger mistake.
Eventually, the inevitable happened at the 1.5 mile mark. My body could not hold the floodgates back any longer. I stopped my friends, told them the situation, and rushed to a semi-isolated place in the woods while they kept watch for other hikers. I was barely out of sight of my friends when I felt a stirring in my loins. Unfortunately, I was a bit too late: I pulled down my pants as fast as I could and squatted down behind a tree but the damage was already done (or, partly done). Pretty much 10 seconds after I squatted down, my friends shouted that there were other hikers on the way. There was legitimately nothing in the area that I could use to wipe my ass with so I just had to pull my pants up and try to hike back down as quickly as I could.
I (literally) smelled like crap and felt so embarrassed. We went back to our hotel together and cleaned myself off, showered very thoroughly, and threw out the pair of soiled underwear. I'm now sitting here outside the hotel next to the pool regretting everything. My girlfriend just laughed and told me "Shit happens". My friends have been surprisingly tame with the teasing, but I'm sure that will ensue in a couple days/weeks.
TLDR: I didn't use the restroom before going on a 3-mile hike and had to go number 2 in the woods behind a tree without any toilet paper. Literally the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me in my entire life.
pogiguy2020: The proper thing would have been to use your socks and simply hope no one noticed it. LOL Rookie
throwaway4554935: I had no time to pull off my shoes and socks to do that because other hikers were literally right around the corner... Otherwise, that would probably be a great option
| 3 | 5.666667 | |
1661031499 | 1661100662 | t3_wti7iv | t5_2to41 | 4,550 | PlotinusTheWise: TIFU by crying in front of my little brother about moving
I (16m) am moving due to my mom having another kid with her husband. I was visiting the house one last time to pack some stuff up when I started crying in front of my 10 year old brother. Hard. I've hated every single part of this move since it started. Where I lived was isolated. I had a good excuse not to hang out with friends after school. I had an amazing job that let me customize my entire schedule with a great boss, and not a single co-worker I disliked. There were no messed up people in town, compared to the homeless people in the park who've tried giving me alcohol every time I've walked past them at the new place. There was a great church that let me practice my faith the way I wanted too, compared to the one who's pastor told me my autism was caused by a demon, and adviced an exorcism. But I cried over it. That's the problem. I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I'm supposed to be a man, and suck things like this up, not cry in front of my brother who feels the same way.
TL;DR I'm supposed to be a man, but instead I chose to be weak in front my brother about moving
Yverthel: Dude. You're 16, your life is being turned upside down on you. There is nothing wrong or weak about crying.
I'm a 38 year old man, and guess what?
I cry at sad movies, I cry when I think about friends I've lost over the years, and sometimes I cry because the world is just too fucking much and I cannot deal with it.
So don't let anyone tell you men don't cry, don't let anyone make you feel like less of a person because you have actual human emotions... and definitely don't hide those emotions from your younger siblings, let them see you have real, honest, healthy emotions. That is absolutely the best example you can set for your little brother.
Unevenscore42: Can Confirm! I'm 36 and have gotten to a point where I can feel my feelings rather than run and hide, it was a good feeling the first time I was able to show my feelings. I wish I could have done it sooner. Hiding and holding it in just triples the effect.
DekwaDoes: 38 here. I bawl my eyes out to sad tiktoks... That OTHER people are crying over in react videos ..
Real men don't hide their emotions!
prettyboyfraud: Thank you guys sm
I am 23 and this offers me sm hope
Ik there's nothing wrong with it but people make you feel bad
It offers me some certainty in life when guys older than me confirm such things!! Thanks for THIS.
cinnamonface9: I’m 33, it still wrecks me how Big Hero 6 ending was.
prettyboyfraud: Haha to each his own
I was talking generally
| 7 | 650 | |
1661032294 | 1661082273 | t3_wtihwp | t5_2to41 | 12,425 | Ok-Watch8193: TIFU Update 4 by letting ex friend destroy 8k of Pokémon cards
[removed]
coffeebuzzbuzzz: The only part I think you fucked up on was failing to mention the monetary value of the cards he destroyed. Without that his dad can easily dismiss them as silly pieces of cardboard. However, he will see that when he goes to court with his son. I wish you luck OP.
No_Love_1353: This. Imagine the look on Cole’s dad’s face if someone had destroyed $8k of Cole’s possessions.
xtkbilly: What I'm wondering is this 8k value the total that OP put in to collecting, or the value to replace.
If it's the former, then OP needs try to do research to see how much it would cost to replace as much of it as possible. The value destroyed could be much higher than 8k stated.
DameArstor: He already said that 8k is just the value of the money that he put into those cards himself. The actual value is higher than that due to the nature of collecting things like this.
redditingatwork23: The value of the set itself is probably at least double that lol.
plafki: What was the set? How the hell kid living at moms got 8k to spend on collections... and his cars end up burning... lolwut
redditingatwork23: Easy to collect that much over the time frame he stated. Again, easily done. If this kid has a detailed record of the more expensive cards he owns this other kid is going to get absolutely destroyed in court. After court fee's, pain and suffering, and reimbursement. The kid who stole the cards will be lucky to to be out less than $20,000-25000. That stuff adds up real quick. His parents probably gonna disown him lol.
plafki: "Easy" sure... i asked you which set not if it is easy. U want to explain how op got shadowless base set mints worth of 8k, easily? Lol
solocollection: in the first thread OP said they collected all original cards. no mentioning of shadowless. prolly just the unlimited base set and prices were way lower pre covid than they arw now.
bug_feature:
>all original cards
holy shit. like all 151 first prints? that's fucking nuts! what a priceless loss.
EleanorStroustrup: The original post claims the collection consisted of 15 thousand cards, including all the original cards.
| 12 | 1,035.416667 | |
1661032653 | 1661035430 | t3_wtimgg | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a text as a joke
[deleted]
bobbymatthews84: Your "one of those" guys.
h3rm3s_vault: What do you mean?
bobbymatthews84: It's a whole personality. The type of person to send a text to the guy saying what you did after being told it from the girl, knowing full well what you were doing.
h3rm3s_vault: I totally get it now. However, my intentions were just as a joke. But I didn't know they sorta knew each other. But I get it
bobbymatthews84: We live and we learn. Then we adapt and evolve to become hopefully better, more enjoyable people! We're all just trying to learn how to bring more happiness into the world, replacing the drama! As long as your open minded and willing to change to become your best self you'll be just fine! You already broke the stigma by saying you get it instead of being defensive and stubborn. You'll be just fine my dude!!
| 6 | 4.5 | |
1661032865 | 1661110361 | t3_wtipff | t5_2to41 | 9 | green_highlighter_: TIFU by making a “ur mom” joke
My roommate recently got a boyfriend and to be honest I don’t get along with him all that much. Just something about him and I doesn’t work out, but I try to get along because I see him in our tiny little room everyday.
One time—I don’t remember the context, because this happened a while ago—I said “like your mom huh?” and he got real mad and said something along the lines of “don’t talk about my family.” I didn’t think too much of his reaction because it’s normal for him to react that way.
A few weeks go by, and I’m playing pool with a mutual friend and we get to talking about him. I found out that his mom died two months ago, and I felt so fucking badly. Do I tell him I’m sorry? Does he even remember? We don’t talk much anymore so I figured I’d just let him be. I guess the lesson here is don’t make your mom jokes to someone you don’t know well or you can fuck up like I did.
tl;dr: made a ur mom joke to someone who just lost their mom
pcash40: he definitely remembers you should apologize for sure
green_highlighter_: but do i really wanna bring it up again?
pcash40: then don’t
you know what you should do or you wouldn’t have asked you don’t have to cut the shit with me but be honest with yourself
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1661035672 | 1661036100 | t3_wtjq61 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by not waking up my brother
[deleted]
_conqueror: Your friend being toxic is not your fuck-up
oishii_sushii: Hm I dunno. She can be difficult at times when it comes to delaying meetings, she is a little princess but she is my best friend and we have been trough a lot, good and bad things. Its just, sometimes she snaps.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1661034289 | 1661043172 | t3_wtj8cx | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU by not hiding my charging cord
[deleted]
ouzo84: What type of connector is it using that is so specialised that it can only be a sex toy?
Oliveoil_cant: It’s like a long tube shape. There’s probably other plugs that look like it, but I’m pretty sure it’s mostly used by sex toys. At the very least it’s the same plug type for my mom’s vibrator 😭
misanthrope2327: It's gotta be long so they can penetrate the waterproof outer coating and get in to hit the ~~g-spot~~ charging port.
cosmernaut420: HA HA! Submersible.
| 5 | 6 | |
1661034165 | 1661038059 | t3_wtj6r3 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by dropping a shirt in a parking lot
[deleted]
suzy7517: You kept the car in drive when you were backing out?
hybridginger: Lol put it in drive rather than park 🤦
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1661036951 | 1661167513 | t3_wtk6wn | t5_2to41 | 1,932 | Erens_wife-: TIFU By allowing my 31 year old boyfriend call by 13yr daughter hot
[removed]
Bordo1985: The line ‘Hot for a 13 year old’ is quite disturbing.
She has every right to feel uncomfortable.
Regenclan: I don't know. He is pretty much saying it in a non hey she is hot sort of way. He isn't saying he thinks she is hot, just hot for a 13 year old. To me that sounds like he is just trying to be supportive. He isn't with a buddy somewhere going hey that 13 year old is hot or have you seen my hot 13 year old step daughter? Maybe he could of said I would have thought you were hot when I was 13 or something but maybe that would sound weird to some people too. He did it right in front of her mom too. He wasn't creeping on her out of the mom's sight. Sometimes people just say stuff and don't really mean anything sexual by it. I would look at it in the totality of the relationship. If it's a one off I wouldn't think anything else about it. If he is always commenting on her appearance then it's a huge red flag
JaysusChroist: But think about if the age was really old. "She's hot for 70." That doesn't make me think the guys gonna be cutely supporting grandma. It's the word choice that people are offput by. Bro doing this in front of the mom just means he has 0 social intelligence.
Regenclan: I'm not sure what you mean. If it was a grandmother and she was talking about a guy thinking she was hot and he said well you are hot for 70 that still doesn't mean he thinks she is hot
JaysusChroist: That's exactly what it means tho. He said she's hot so it means he thinks she's bangable for 70. If he meant something else he would probably say cute. It's not hard to think critically.
Regenclan: It just means if he was 70 he would think she is hot. I'm 51. My oldest daughter is 26. I can't even think about someone being hot for me personally at any age around that or younger. If I said a woman is hot for a 25 year old it means exactly that. For 25 she is hot. I wouldn't have to add that descriptor if I was 25 because she would just be hot. It becomes even more different if they are below the age of consent or above an age where most people think a person isn't able to be hot anymore. It's just an oh of I was that age I would think they are hot. It's pretty much a given
JaysusChroist: It's not really a given. You just said if you were 25 she'd be fuckable, if you were 70 you'd fuck grandma. Now think about that for a second. So he's saying if he was 13 he'd try to fuck her? A grown man imagines himself as a 13 year old viewing anorher 13 year old like that. Why not just say "you'll grow up to be beautiful" instead of regressing himself to 13 in his own head? Its a given is an old mentality from when people were more ignorant
Regenclan: It's weird that hot immediately becomes fuckable in your mind. That is probably why you think this way about him. You are overly sexualized and put your own thing onto him. People say things like if I was 13 I would date you without anyone thinking a thing about it. Why? Because everyone knows what they are saying and it's not that he wants to date her
JaysusChroist: Yeah but that's not how it works anymore. Im not overly sexualizing, this guy just doesnt know what makes people uncomfortable. Society has evolved since then. Putting yourself in the mental headspace of 13 as a 30 year old adult isn't how people should be communicating anymore. Just because it's like that doesn't mean it's right. The girl thought something about it, she felt uncomfortable so you can't really say it doesn't mean anything. You're really only thinking of it from the perspective of the guy, not the switched power dynamic from the 13 year old girls perspective.
Regenclan: To which a simple I didn't mean thing by should take care of it. You can't go around life wondering if every little thing you say, especially things that are commonly said and no one takes offense to, is going to offend someone.
JaysusChroist: I think you're missing the part where the girl felt uncomfortable. You can't go around life not caring about if you make someone feel some type of way and then just apologize for being creepy when you should've known better.
Regenclan: It wasn't creepy just because she felt it was. As I said you apologize and go on. You just found out how she reacts to things and adjust your behavior with her accordingly . It isn't at all a should have known better thing. It's a common way of speaking and the vast majority of people wouldn't have a. Issue with it
JaysusChroist: It's not really a common way of speaking anymore though. And a "vast majority" is an overstatement, not many young girls would like it. I work in a school and kids are taught to be more critical in how they treat others because it has an effect on them. Maybe it's common where you live, but its not going to be forever. Times change.
Regenclan: Ok but that still doesn't change anything. If someone takes a phrase a certain way and the other person didn't mean it that way and apologizes then it's done. They now know how that person thinks and doesn't do it again with that person. Again just because a person thinks something is creepy doesn't mean it is creepy. Everyone is different and thinks about things in a different way. The main thing is to not jump to conclusions and apologize if you hurt someone's feelings.
JaysusChroist: I agree but its still about context. Usually that's all fine and good. I'd say that about making a joke someone was offended by. But the thing about this type of situation - a grown man saying something to a little girl - should be thought through more carefully.
Regenclan: As I said. Everyone thinks differently about stuff. It doesn't mean you or I am right. It just means apologize and go on
JaysusChroist: It would be hard to find a 13 year old girl who would be okay with that from their moms boyfriend.
Regenclan: We will have to agree to disagree. Most girls aren't that fragile. They are pretty strong as a matter of fact
| 19 | 101.684211 | |
1661029828 | 1661045022 | t3_wthl9v | t5_2to41 | 41 | sovietslug7797979: TIFU by believing my 10yo
for context, my 10yo is my husband’s from a previous marriage and we get her every other weekend. She stays with her maternal grandparents for the rest of the time. She’s been wanting to start acting, so her grandparents signed her up for acting classes, dance, singing, all that jazz
So my 10yo was in a high-end local production of Cats. She’s been in rehearsals for months and telling me all about how she’s playing Skimbleshanks in the show. Now as a theater kid myself, I’ve never cared for any play written by Andrew Lloyd Weber. But I was excited for her nonetheless. Her grandparents never told us otherwise, because we never asked.
We ended up purchasing a link for a live-stream to watch it at home because we have a toddler that wouldn’t be able to sit through a 2 hour production. With that said, the quality of the video wasn’t perfect so we couldn’t really see the kids’ faces and the stage makeup didn’t help. So when we found Skimbleshanks, the actor was built like my 10yo, and zoned out a few times like her too. Walks like a duck, talks like a duck. you know how it is.
So I sat here, crying tears of joy seeing this kiddo sing so well, and do aerials, some really cool shit I didn’t know my 10yo could do.
It wasn’t until the final number of the final act, that we got a closeup ofanother cat, who didn’t have their own musical number, that looked much more like her than the skimbleshanks actor did.
When the show ended, my husband pulled up a picture that her grandmother sent him of her wig and tail, which confirmed she was, in fact, NOT Skimbleshanks.
TL:DR; I cheered for the wrong kid.
EDIT: I don’t think she lied to us. Maybe something in the cast changed last minute or maybe she got confused.
DeedyScandalQueenie: I had a similar thing a few years ago when my kid told me she went to a school event and got picked for stuff and i watched a video of the recording and realized it wasn't the case. She was only about 6 at the time but then she very tearfully told me it was because she felt embarrassed and wanted to make me proud. It was a school/TV event.
I think be very gentle with your daughter as there maybe lots of reasons and at the end of the day it could be something logistical and it was a changeover on the day or she wasn't the cat in the first place. If it's the latter, it'll be important to her to feel loved and valued so that next time she feels confident should she face disappointment. ❤
sovietslug7797979: Right of course. I guess I was more embarrassed at the fact that I was watching Skimbleshanks kid the whole time that I missed out on seeing her
DeedyScandalQueenie: Oh whoops I missed your whole point 🤣
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1661037854 | 1661128713 | t3_wtkid9 | t5_2to41 | 9 | HonkeyDonkeyThe2nd: TIFU by screwing over my girlfriend of 3 years by falling for my flat mate
So basically, over the last 3 months I have single handedly managed to fuck up quite a lot of the relationships that I had valued the most.
I (20m) had been with my ex (20f) for 3 years. We met at school and ended up going to the same uni together, and whilst our relationship wasn’t perfect, she was a darn good girlfriend. I came out as (ftm) trans about a year and a half ago and she was the first person I opened up to about it. She was there for me whilst I came out to everyone else and she held me in her arms when I would break down from the stress of it all.
Not only was she there for me through that and countless other times, she had been my rock all through uni. I wasn’t the most confident person when we got to uni and I had a really hard time making friends. In the end she introduced me to her friends and by the time we were in second year we had a really solid friend group and I got on really well with all of them. Especially her best friend. The three of us were really close and I felt like they were the only people I could be 100% myself around.
Problem is, about a month before I ended things with my ex I was losing it a bit and started consoling in my flat mate (20f). You can see where this is going. My flat mate and I had similarly traumatic childhoods so we found comfort in each other. I never should have let it get to this point because by then I knew it was too late, but I didn’t know going into it how my feelings for her would grow. I decided that since this wasn’t the first time I’d developed feelings for someone else whilst in this relationship, I needed to end things instead of putting my feelings aside, and waiting for them to blow over like I had done in the past. I also felt like she deserved better than someone who got crushes as frequently as I did.
So I ended things (badly). I really cocked up when I said I wanted to break up because I was sort of rushing it. I was feeling guilty about my feelings towards my flat mate and instead of treating her with the respect she deserved, I blurted it out because I wanted to get it over and done with. To add insult to injury, I did it when she was in the middle of a 3 day exam (and I knew this but had set a date in my mind before I knew, and couldn’t stand the thought of feeling guilty any longer).
Because of the way I had ended things I knew my friends would think I was a monster and want nothing to do with me so I made no attempt to reconcile my relationships there. Except for my exes (and my) best friend who I asked to speak to after about a month - she made it clear she wanted nothing to do with me because I had hurt my ex so much.
Anyway, if you thought it couldn’t get worse, it could and it did. After breaking up with my ex I’m ashamed to say I felt relieved. Over the last month of our relationship, I had begun to feel trapped and claustrophobic so when I had broken up with her the guilt was gone and I finally felt free, so to speak. And by this time I had begun to feel pretty intensely for my flat mate. So yeah, we started sleeping together. We would joke about how we were violating the notorious uni rule (no flatcest) and because we were so wrapped up in the excitement we (but tbh mostly me) weren’t thinking about the consequences.
Long story short, I told one of my friends back home (who wasn’t close with my ex) that I had started sleeping with my flat mate and this ended up getting back to my ex.
After my flat mate went home for the summer I had no choice but to reflect on my actions. I have now come to realise how much my selfish, thoughtless and immature actions have hurt the girl who did nothing but love me unconditionally. I used to think of myself as a good person with ironclad morals. I have obviously been forced to reconsider this.
I’m now in a situation where the guilt that I feel is driving a wedge between me and my flat mate. To the point where the thought of intimacy between us makes me feel sick to my stomach. So I’ve lost my ex, my best friend and friend group AND the person I did it all for. Actions really do have consequences huh.
TL;DR: I left my girlfriend of 3 years because I got too in my head, then I slept with my flat mate which she found out about because I was careless. And sleeping with my flat mate has obviously led to even more of a fuck up.
itsallminenow: Well, the one nugget in there is that you broke up with her before you slept with the flatmate. At least you were decent with that. Everything else, well it's a shit show. At least the ex gets the chance to fly free and find somebody who won't fuck her up like that, hopefully. You live, and you learn.
I was going to stop there, but actually, on reflection, you are 20, you have no commitment to staying the same person forever (no joke intended). You are going to change as people, all of you, and somebody who you knew at 17 is remarkably unlikely to be a lifelong relationship for anybody. Were you thoughtless? Yes. Were you immature about it? Yes. Were you worse than 98% of the people at your age? Probably not. Just learn to be better. And maybe ask for her forgiveness at some point soonish, if you think raising the issue isn't going to make her feel worse. You don't deserve that level of guilt, you were unreliable and disloyal, but you're not a monster. You were just acting your age, if I may lapse into being condescending for a moment.
HonkeyDonkeyThe2nd: Thank you. I really appreciate this.
The one silver lining, I guess, is that I now know how much I hate being this person.
The only thing I can do moving forward is be better.
itsallminenow: > I now know how much I hate being this person
And that is how everyone stops, casts bewildered looks around them, and then picks a different road.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1661038170 | 1661040127 | t3_wtkm7v | t5_2to41 | 18 | hybridginger: TIFU by dropping a shirt in a parking lot
This happened about an hour ago...
You know the story, bought too much, turned down plastic bags because of course I want to be green or some shit.
Anyway, carried an arm load of clothing and a couple pairs of shoes to the car. Started backing out slowly and noticed in my rear view a rainbow shirt in the parking lot. Didn't I just buy that shirt? Whoops! Better jump out before it gets run over.
As I'm halfway out of the spot I figured I would put the car in park really fast and grab it. Well I'm about 3 feet from the car when I realized, oh shit, you dumb bitch, you put the car in drive not park and now it's slowly rolling forward towards other parked cars.
Tried to run back and hit the break. First jump attempt, I tripped and got caught on the door. Slowly dragged myself along the parking lot for a brief moment.
Through the pain, I climbed up and jumped into the car as quickly as possible and FINALLY hit the break. Not soon enough though as I bumped the car next to mine. Alarm starts going off. I'm a mess. Parking lot was crowded and everyone was staring. Quickly wrote down my information and put a note on the door handle and drove off as I was in a bit of shock.
Now I have a rainbow shirt, road rash on my foot and knee from being slowly dragged by my car, and so much shame. I'm down a new pair of sandals (they didn't make it through being dragged) and now I wait for insurance to call me back so I can relive my shame again. FML.
TL;DR - Dropped shirt in parking lot, jumped out of car to grab it, put the car in drive instead of park, had to jump back in before hitting anything. Missed the first time and got dragged by my car. Didn't hit the breaks fast enough on the second attempt and bumped a car in the lot after all that struggle. Feeling shame and in pain.
Finnegan7921: ngl, scrolling thru I read that as "dropping a shit in a parking lot" and had some questions as to the circumstances.
hybridginger: Lol oh gosh
| 3 | 6 | |
1661041410 | 1661079147 | t3_wtlqpv | t5_2to41 | 126 | haske0: TIFU by blasting porn over the car stereo while the wife was driving.
My wife and I have a very healthy relationship but being super pregnant our night time "festivities" has suffered as a result. Although it sucks but I do have my left hand to take care of business in a pinch.
The night before the fuck up I leave for my nightly tennis session after dinner. And per usual, I left the courts around quarter past 11pm. It was a lovely summer night, the streets were empty and the smell of fresh manure was in the air. A couple hours of solid tennis with friends put me in a good mood. I put on my favorite jam and cranked the volume. Soon I was zipping my way home with "baby, baby, baby oh~" playing through the stereo. At this point the wife is fast asleep so I put on my headphones and jumped in the shower. The mid summer heat combined with the residual adrenaline made me want to give my left hand some excerise too. I proceeded to take a quick scroll through my favorite orange hub website and it soon dawned on me that I didn't have enough left in the tank and I needed to call it a night. Now this is where the fuck up actually starts. In my drowsy state I must've minimized the browser instead of closing it.
Fastfoward to the next morning. I wake up and rushed to get ready for work without checking my phone. 20min later the wife and I are out the door on our way to work. This particular morning the wife was the one driving so I chilled in the passenger seat and started aimlessly browsing through the multitude of apps. As I tapped on chrome all hell broke lose. "Yeah, fuck me! Fuck me harder! Yes! Harder! Faster!" The educational video I had left open the night before had resumed playback and is now on full blast through the speaker's as I had not changed the volume since the Bibes was last on. I frantically tried to close the browser and stem the bleeding but the damage has been done. She heard everything…
Remember when I said we had a healthy relationship? Well I certainly put that to the test… Luckily she laughed about it and called me a sick pervert but wasn't mad in the least bit. However she will not let me live this down and would tease me about it every chance she gets.
TLDR;forgot I had porn open in the browser and it auto played in the car during our morning commute.
AcrobaticSource3: So which video do you recommend? Asking for myself
haske0: https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5ff70c4f4a3e3
Here you go my G
TheOldMancunian: Oh well played sir
| 4 | 31.5 | |
1661041471 | 1661102071 | t3_wtlrgn | t5_2to41 | 14 | MeecyMice_: TIFU by being scared of bidets
(Im new to this sub so sorry for formatting and if its not good to be posted here)
Yep.
Backstory: So my whole life ive had stomach issues, most doctors seem to agree its IBS or something like that. So for years ive had troubles pooping. And wiping was a whole hour long pain, my butt would always be bleeding and looking like a warzone from the amount of toilet paper i used. I genuinely became suicidal bc of the pain and time it took.
Anyway fast forward to this year i bought a really cheap bidet toilet set (it only spray water on your butt or coochie, no heating or drying etc). And i have been too scared to use it properly so i would wipe 1 BILLION times then use a lil water at the end to feel cleaner?! I guess.
Until today/yesterday .. for the first time since i got it all i did was wipe the worst of it and use water for the rest. Never in my life have i felt cleaner, and my butt is probably thanking the gods that im not ruining my skin. Im so stupid.
Anyway, please buy one if you dont. It doesnt need to be fancy or anything!
Tl/dr: i bought a bidet this year. Didnt use it properly until today. I have never felt cleaner.
eustaceous: Sorry, ignorant question. Why do you need to wipe so much? Is it like tons of diarrhea or a really gross sticky poo?
MeecyMice_: I think its a mix of me being a germaphobe (if im not perfectly clean i feel disgusting) and my body just not being healthy i guess
eustaceous: Ok. Sometimes when I poo it's super difficult to clean but I can't figure out why.
sandbirde: Not to Internet diagnose, but speak with your doctor about this if/when you can. If it's difficult to clean/takes a while to do so, that's a *potential sign* of IBS.
eustaceous: It happens super rarely but I will probably develop ibs In my life.. I didn't know there was a connection. Ty
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1661043416 | 1661053210 | t3_wtmfcf | t5_2to41 | 24 | hotbIonde: TIFU by thinking I could fix my Dunkin’ coffee
Backstory: Today I (16F) wanted to try out Dunkin’s fall menu because I love pumpkin flavored things. I asked my mom if we could DoorDash it and she said yes, I ordered a pumpkin muffin and the iced nutty pumpkin drink. Yay. It arrives and I sit down to check it out, except it wasn’t what I ordered. It was the most plain, unpretentious coffee ever with literally nothing except for the sugar I asked for to be included with what the drink was already SUPPOSED to have (pumpkin flavor shots & cream). Okay I’m already peeved but whatever, at least I have the pumpkin muffin, right? :D
WRONG.
It was a blueberry muffin. Which I don’t hate, but it’s not what I asked for.
Now onto how I tried to fix it because that coffee had less flavor than a sorority girls personality. I pull out the half & half out of my fridge and open it up. Says it expires in September but I smelt it anyways for safe precaution, and when I say that it had the most vile, wretched, gag-inducing, catastrophic, atrocious, barbaric, ghastly, egregious smell ever known to the modern day evolution of a great ancestor, it did. I started gagging hard enough to scare my cats out of the kitchen, but it said it expired in September so I pulled out a little condiment bowl to taste test it like the average person would after smelling that monstrosity. I’m not fazed because I’ve eaten 2 day old meatballs that have sat out in the past, nothing new to me. Okay, this liquid from satans asshole tastes fine enough so I’ll put some in my coffee! Oh. There are little white chunks now floating in it but I don’t want to pour it out and waste money because it was a large. I’ll just add some vanilla extract and drink it anyways.
I should’ve just thrown it out.
I felt the little half & half chunks infiltrate my mouth and that was enough to throw me over the edge. I start gagging like a courtesan in the back of a VIP club on a Friday night, or like someone’s daughter who went to go hang out at her “gay” friends house. I down it all anyways because I’m a capable young lady. I get about halfway through my coffee from hell before my stomach starts to hurt and grumble. I didn’t poop yesterday so this will be fun. Sign me up for the next Olympics marathon because I could’ve beat Usain by 2.5 seconds with how fast I made it to that bathroom. I threw myself on that toilet and It. All. Unloads. As I sit there reassessing my entire life choices up to this point while Wonkas chocolate river just became real, I think about how I didn’t even get the damn order that I wanted. Being the emotional and hormonal teen I am, I start bawling my eyes out on the toilet. Like hard tears coming down and my snot racing down from my nostrils to see which one can fall down first. It’s like 80°F inside that bathroom so I take my clothes off. There I am, crying naked on the toilet while WWIII extricates from my very asshole and a string of snot drips on the floor. I just wanted my pumpkin items. :(
My stomach still hurts and I don’t think I’m ready for round 2. Stack your bread and go to Starbucks instead, at least they’ll tell you when they run out of stuff.
TL;DR: Dunkin messed up my order so I tried to fix it with half & half but it was chunky, then I unloaded the biggest poop of my life in my hot bathroom and started crying while naked over my heinous mistake.
Edit: YASSSSSSS THEY HAD THE COFFEE. NO MUFFIN, BUT THEY GAVE ME A PUMPKIN DONUT, BLUEBERRY MUFFIN & COFFEE CAKE MUFFIN. I’ve been rejuvenated, thank you to my loyal fans 😘
Purple_Pieman: Your (16f) and you write so eloquently about crying over a messed up drink order and a nasty dump? Impressive.
hotbIonde: I’d like to think my 4.0 GPA has gotten me somewhere in life, even if it’s complaining about my coffee and poop
| 3 | 8 | |
1661043632 | 1661114646 | t3_wtmi4e | t5_2to41 | 35,739 | JBD3000: TIFU by Eating my Girls A$$
So I'm not stranger to eating ass, I know the precautions, always staying clean, but hey people fuck up.
My girl and I are a pretty sexally active couple.
Before I met her I was always an anal guy, and by exploring I helped her find her love for anal.
Now we're just about always careful, cleaning before and after, watching out diets, letting each other know when we arnt feeling well.
We are big into toys, so last week I had ordered a BIG surprise for her that was due friday,
So skip to today, toy comes in and I'm so excited that while we were warming up I decided to go downtown,
I tounge her backdoor deep, like deep deep,
I'm so excited to use out new friend, that I completely forgot she just got over food poisoning.
So skip ahead a few hours and I'm throwing up everything and pissing out my ass
I call my friend who's a doctor and she said that is entirely possible, especially because of how soon she just over it.
Skip to now, I'm lying on a tile floor covered in vomit, listening to "Every rose has its thorn" wishing more than Uncle Rico for a Time Machine.
TL;DR
I ate my Girls ass after she had food poisoning and I contracted food poisoning
Fuhgly: Bro you got food poisoning from eating ass I'm fucking dead
MrPassenki: First ever case of asspoisoning
xpoohx_: This is not the first case of asspoisoning. Ecoli poisoning from eating ass is a real thing.
I cannot believe my germaphobia is grtting this many upvotes.
hellocaptin: Yep, my ex-girlfriend got E. coli eating my ass in high school and ended up in the hospital...
HotPomelo: There was this point about 10 years back, a bunch of high schoolers all contracted E. Coli and the department of health got involved cause they thought it was from a food source. Turns out one of them had to come clean to a dept official that they all had an orgy and ass eating was involved. Dept official damn near feel off his chair.
Alchemis7: I’d be hella proud if any of these kids were mine.
Jibtech: For getting ecoli? or for keeping their mouths shut until they almost called in Scooby-Doo and the gang?
Alchemis7: No, for engaging in an orgy.
CharlieAlright: Something about that just feels wrong. Like, "aww little Becky is growing up! She just got her first sexually transmitted illness!". But in all honesty and not to be a buzzkill, but if you're going to be that flippant about your teenager having sex, at least tell them how to do things safely. Poor kid is raising their damn selves.
Alchemis7: If I only were as virtuous as you and able to draw conclusions.
CharlieAlright: What conclusion was inaccurate? The one where you said you would cheer your teenager for engaging in an orgy in a manner unsafe enough to contract Ecoli? Because that sounds like excellent parenting /s
Alchemis7: You may congratulate yourself!
| 13 | 2,749.153846 | |
1661043837 | 1661125363 | t3_wtmkpy | t5_2to41 | -22 | [deleted]: TIFU by tweeting about one of my followers
[deleted]
nokiabby: Warning: you will piss off a lot of redditors with this. Unattractive males make up a large population of Reddit.
[deleted]: I noticed.
This-Layer-4447: You have every right to reject him for not being your type but you have no right to say you are the standard... cause unless you place in a wbff competition it's very unlikely you are the gold standard.
[deleted]: I never said I was the standard. I just stated that he didn’t meet mine, which I believe is fine because nobody is gonna be everyone’s cup of tea.
| 5 | -4.4 | |
1661045835 | 1661055597 | t3_wtn8uq | t5_2to41 | 45 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #52!🥳 Come share your stories and we are doing game night!
Amanimefan: I WANT THE GAME
bigasslottaclass: This is the game
Amanimefan: ?
bigasslottaclass: Oh my bad I misunderstood your comment
Amanimefan: Oh
| 6 | 7.5 | |
1661042411 | 1661095130 | t3_wtm337 | t5_2to41 | 16 | bowman290: TIFU by unknowingly angering natures douchebags
Actually happened today. On mobile so formatting might be ass.
I have a people reactive rescue dog that I was taking for a walk over our local field. There are a few entrances to this field that get gradually less maintained the further you go.
Get to the first entrance and I can hear kids, so I carry on. Get to the second and I can see a guy running behind us and most people cut down this one so I carry on. Third time's a charm? Nope, people. So I go for the last one.
So we start walking around what is essentially a narrow dirt track and typically someone appears walking towards us. Nowhere to go, so I decide to take me and the dog into the long weeds to let him pass. Dog does great, super proud. So I think, awesome let's keep going. Get about 5 metres and ANOTHER FUCKING GUY! So I decide to repeat in the exact spot. Yeah so...
I'm instantly swarmed by fucking wasps and my arms and legs are being stung to shit. They're all over the dog too (thankfully he's a furry boy and seems fine). Was chased home by the fuckers and am now feeling pretty wired by the whole experience. In a bit of pain but no serious reaction, Dog was pretty stressed. If I hear buzzing in my house right now, I might burn it down. Stay on the path people.
TL;DR stepped off path into weeds while walking dog. Angered a wasp's nest. Got swarmed and stung to shit.
rtosser: Fucking ouch man. I had the tree guys taking down some dead trees and they stepped right on a bald-faced hornets nest, buried beneath the leaves. One of the crew had so many bites he had to go to the ER.
bowman290: Wow that sucks. Feel like I got away easy.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1661052512 | 1661054308 | t3_wtpf33 | t5_2to41 | 53 | AlysaSass: TIFU by not checking the girls at the pool after I went down a waterslide
I went to the neighborhood pool this morning in my old swimsuit, a little bikini top and boy shorts bottoms that are a bit small for me, but still fit pretty much ok, or so I thought.
I went down a waterside at the pool and didn't notice one of the girls was peeking out. I'd hit the water kinda roughly and so I wasn't going to do it again.
I climbed out of the pool and walked by a bunch of ppl who def noticed. Some old couples, a family w some kids who I don't think noticed. One middle aged guy was watching me walk by with an amused smirk and that felt kinda weird. The worst part is some boys who go to my school saw me and commented. That's when I noticed and covered up. I was bright red and left as quick as I could.
Now they're calling me peekaboo in my dms.
TL ;DR I went to the pool and had a minor wardrobe malfunction after a waterslide. Several ppl noticed and I'm mortified.
Snnapy: Maybe its cause i've been awake too long but, what was the malfunction suppose to be here im slightly confused, if it was top or bottom that just went zoom zoom after slide
AlysaSass: My nip was peeking out. So glad it wasn't the whole thing!!
Snnapy: Oh! I thought it had more to do with the bottom part haha. People that saw it had a delight for sure 
AlysaSass: I know that older guy did. He just stared at my nip, he obv liked it
Snnapy:  would've loved to see his face
AlysaSass: His face or my slipped nip? Lol
Snnapy: Primarly his face but hey, who would i be to not take a peak too xD
AlysaSass: I bet, lol. It was kinda exciting after, to think of those guys enjoying the view 🙈🙊
Snnapy: "And that kids was how i discovered a new kink before i met your father", it'll be great story to tell.
AlysaSass: Lol maybe...
| 11 | 4.818182 | |
1661055228 | 1661090427 | t3_wtq9cg | t5_2to41 | 53 | Actually_apples_: TIFU by being curious.
So, me (a minor) and my brother (22), mom (51), and brother's gf (22) went on a flight to Vancouver recently. My dad (54) wasn't able to make it, as he had to stay behind with my sick grandmother.
So we made the decision to go without him. I cried over it the night before but that's not the point.
For a couple years now, I've had intrusive thoughts about one of my parents cheating on the other. They became more prominent when my parents starting arguing more frequently.
Anyways, fast forward to the flight. I've always loved my mom and my main intrusive thought would be that my dad would be the one to cheat. No offense to my dad, but that would never happen because I don't think any woman would really be interested in my dad. He isn't the best but I still love him.
The original plan was for me to sit next to my mom, and my brother and his gf would sit next to each other on the opposite side of the aisle. Then came a lady with her baby and MIL. Woman sat down, offered one of us to switch with her MIL who was a few rows up. I didn't want to sit alone, so I declined. My mom backed me up. So we all get comfy and I'm thinking that it's time to get through the flight.
I'm a curious person, so I'm peeking onto my mom's phone and I see her texting someone. I ask who it is, and she says "Just a friend.". I trust my mom, so I believe her and look away for a bit. I get bored, so I look back. I see her and her friend (We'll call him Andrew) talking about the mile high club. He explains to her what it is, ans she says something along the lines of "Oh, well there is no one on the plane that I would share a bathroom with", adding a couple of laughing emojis to the end. At this point, I'm thinking, oh that's a bit of a weird subject to be talking to your friend about but whatever. I let it slide. I then look away for a second, looking back just to see something along the lines of "That underwear pic you sent me last night, whew".
My heart DROPS. My mind is racing. At this point my mom notices me looking, and asks me to stop. I ask her jokingly with a nervous chuckle, are you hiding something? She says yes, and starts laughing. Then, my mind goes blank and next thing I know I'm being ushered into my dad's seat he was supposed to be in which was next to my brother and his gf, a window seat. She used the reasoning that "oh you will be sleeping and the plane will take off and the baby will cry, you should move". So I guess I do. My mind is racing the entire 5 hour flight. There were no TVs to entertain myself with, so I tried to forget with music.
Skip to us getting to the hotel and a few small things happen before the big one. I see her angling her camera up at a nice angle, taking her hair out. At this point, I know she's taking a pic of herself to send to Andrew. I ask her "what are you doing" and she says "looking at myself". A lie. She gets up and takes a pic of the hotel room, again I ask "what are you doing". "Taking a pic of the hotel room." When I ask for who, she says her best friend's name. Another lie.
Eventually the day ends and she goes to shower. Conveniently for my intrusive mind, she leaves her phone behind and I know her passcode. I look, and I instantly regret it.
I see texts between her and Andrew, sexual ones. I scroll up a bit when Andrew asks if me or my brother have asked about him. She says I did, but she told me he was just a friend. He replies "Good, don't say boyfriend." She tells him she won't. I clear my tracks and put the phone back where I found it. I sink into my bed, holding back tears.
Is my mom cheating on my dad? Did they divorce and not tell me? Why are they lying to me? If I confront them, will they tell the truth? Does my brother know anything? If she is cheating, she's doing it while my grandma on my dad's side is in the hospital which is fucked up. I need advice on what to do, I can't look at my mom the same until I know the truth and what to do with it. Help.
TL:DR - I think my mom is cheating on my dad but I'm not sure.
DonTheMac: So how was Vancouver
Actually_apples_: The vacation just started :'/
| 3 | 17.666667 | |
1661054585 | 1661074888 | t3_wtq28h | t5_2to41 | 138 | KatyvSmith: TIFU by kissing my best friend
This happened today and I don’t know what to do right now. I guess I’m just looking for a place to vent.
My name is Katy (F23) and I’m best friends with a guy, let’s call him John for privacy reasons. John and I met during my Freshman year of college. We had chemistry lab class together, and the two of us would study together after class.
We became really close friends and would often go to places like the museum on the weekends together. Last week, I ended a relationship with a guy who I had been dating for nearly two years. He confronted to me in a phone call that he has secretly been with another woman.
I hanged up on him and spent the rest of the night crying myself to sleep. I’ve never been this heartbroken in my life. I’ve always been introverted growing up, and It took a lot of courage on my part to open up and commit to this relationship. I loved him dearly but it turns out that he didn’t feel the same way about me. On top of all that, I have trust issues, and the whole situation just broke me.
This morning, John came over to my house and brought coffee & donuts for the two of us. He told me that he was worried about me since I haven’t talked to him in nearly a week. The two of us sat on my couch and I started confessing to him about everything that had happened. I ended up crying in his arms as he comforted me. After all I’ve been through, that hug felt so nice.
Without thinking, I leaned towards John and kissed him. He sat still for a moment and just stared at me. I continued to cry and started apologizing to him. I immediately ran upstairs and locked myself in my room.
John left afterwards and I felt so guilty. I felt that I have crossed a boundary in our friendship. He texted me but I ignored his texts, because I felt so ashamed. I’ve lost a lot of friendships over the years, at this point it feels like I have no one. I don’t think John would even want to be friends anymore with a girl like me.
I appreciate everyone for reading this post. I’m doing a little better right now but I just need some time to heal and process all of this. I’m sorry if this post was all over the place but I wanted to share my true emotions. ❤️
Tl,Dr: had my heartbroken after I got cheated on, confessed everything to my best friend, kissed him and now I feel like an idiot.
grindemup:
>I don’t think John would even want to be friends anymore with a girl like me.
That is all in your head. He sounds like a good friend and I am almost certain that he will understand completely, given your state of mind, you just need to tell him.
KatyvSmith: Thank you for your kind words. I’ll try have a talk with him tomorrow. ❤️
PM_Me_Rude_Haiku: Also don't undervalue the healing properties of a rebound fling.
| 4 | 34.5 | |
1661055558 | 1661056227 | t3_wtqd2b | t5_2to41 | 30 | Etrius_Christophine: TIFU by not being the Corn King
Today, I ate 18 ears of corn in a three hour period. My friends and I now have a yearly corn off, in which we go to a farmers market, and buy All the corn. There are two competitions, the endurance corning and speed corning. The prior year’s champion and original corn monarch is my gf, who wove an awesome corn crown and brought a corn skull as the trophy. Two rules, must be a full cob to count, and puking is a disqualification.
I wanted it. I wanted to be the corn king to my corn queen. I knew the competition would be tight, and I had to play my kernels right. I arrived at 5:30, got to work. Three ears, five ears, I had people look at the tracking marks on my arm and go “my god man what have you been doing”, “eating corn”. I got to seven, in a comfortable lead and stopped and chatted and had a lot of fun. Back to corn, my closest competition at five. Two more people show up two hours in, I’m at 13 cobs. One of them decides that they will make an attempt. I pickup the 14th cob and realize I have made a terrible mistake, can’t back out, can’t enjoy the cob. I think I’ll stop at 15, but the newcomer is at 13, and the host at 14. 16, I’m going slow now.
Its time for speed corn. Fastest to no kernels wins. I take a cob, knowing its about endurance. The cobbing begins, and a friend of mine who to this point had had four, starts slobbering on the cob. It sounded like an actual chainsaw, man’s shirt was off. I have a mouth full of corn. Aaaaand.
I hold it down, through laughter and tears, i’m still in the game. 17. The other three contenders weigh boiling more corn, so much butter, so much salt. The latecomer is at 16. The host taps out at 15. I eat my 18th, slowly and looking like I had been given dry oats. The latecomer is at 17, 18, and he starts number 19. I can’t look at corn, nor coat my teeth any further in string.
I watched my gf bestow the corn skull to the latecomer, an honorable and jealous victory.
I’m now on the toilet, and will remain here indefinitely.
TLDR: Wanted to impress gf by eating corn, lost and now my tummy hurts.
Exhausted_Monkey26: ... how to say you're from the rural Midwest without actually saying it?
Etrius_Christophine: Fun fact, this was in the north east, but the host is from Ohio.
Exhausted_Monkey26: .. I have family from Ohio, story checks out. 🌽
Minnesotan here, BTW.
| 4 | 7.5 | |
1661053033 | 1661314186 | t3_wtpkx4 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Scryllarus: TIFU by eating an entire carolina reaper
The specific fruit I had decided to gleefully ingest displayed every single characteristic of being a hell fruit. Horrendously pimpled with a distinctly warped shape, literally reeked of spice, with the spice oils visibly shining on the surface.
I reasoned with myself, "I've had carolina reaper foods before, this can't be that bad. Plus, being able to handle intense spices is in my genes, this will be easy."
This, in fact, would not be easy. It was in fact, however, about to be the worst pain I had ever experienced.
When I first bit into the fruit, it was deceptively tasty, followed by a somewhat tolerable spice. It wasn't until I swallowed it that I had realized my grave mistake. My tongue immediately caught fire, hiccups came in, I'm tearing up, and my whole body is sweating. As it traveled down my esophagus, I felt a heartburn with the heat of the sun. I calmly stroll over to the fridge as to not make a fool of myself infront of the family, on a quest for milk. To my horror, there was none. I frantically searched the fridge for milk products to no avail.
By this point, it felt like something was trying to force its way out of my chest. I considered forcing myself to throw it up, and end the suffering immediately; but I immedately reconsidered. Throwing it up would make me seem weak, and I had to prove my spice handling superiority to the onlookers. And so, I sat in silence. Smiling through tears at my family, who was watching in abject horror at the excruciating stunt I had just preformed. On the inside, I was screaming for the sweet release of death. I drank cup after cup of ice water, eating the individual blocks of sweet, cool, relief, only for the pain to immediately return after a minute.
Then suddenly after 10 excruciating minutes, the pain had subsided - the heat in my mouth had died down, and the chest pain was gone. The firey mess from hell that I had just injested had finally reached my stomach. I thought it was over, but this was just the beginning. I could feel the poison diffusing throughout my stomach. My stomach started aching, crying out in pain as the pepper from hell made contact with the stomach lining. With each movement, I could feel my stomach fluids mixing and agitating the liquid fire, intensifying the pain. Lying down only made it worse. I have no choice but to make as little movements as possible and wait for the pain so subside.
I fear for the future. My body is about to severely punish me for my foolish actions. My burps reek of reaper, there's a distinct feeling of coldness, and every so often I dislodge a seed from my teeth, setting my tongue alight for some brief moments. I regret everything. I don't know what the hell I was thinking.
Edit: it is now 1 am. The mass has reached my intestines and I am experiencing an unholy amount of pain and burning. Full body sweat, and shakiness. I regret everything.
TL;DR
I ate a carolina reaper thinking I could handle the supposed spice easily, and found out that I was way in over my head, and felt a pain that I have never felt before. I deeply regret every decision I made immediately after eating the pepper.
TitanusBlue: I hope you’re doing better! I had a similar experience with a ghost pepper once 😂
Scryllarus: Ghost peppers are nothing for me which gave me a false sense of security eating this abomination of a pepper
TitanusBlue: It was in 2010 when this happened lol I have no issues with them now but How long did it last before everything was finally normal with your tastebuds?
Scryllarus: 10-15 minutes before it calmed down to where I could tolerate
About 30 minutes before it went away completely
| 5 | 3 | |
1661058532 | 1661071204 | t3_wtr8on | t5_2to41 | 19 | AltheatheDreamer: TIFU by eating blueberries
So I (24f) woke up with a sour stomach and very liquid "movement". I was running in the bathroom every 10 minutes for like, 2 hours. I end up puking, all is right with the world. My wonderful husband (40m) goes to 7-11 for me while I lay in bed with our baby (4 month f), who is also not feeling the best.
He comes back with Pepto Bismul tabs, sprite, and a blueberry muffin. Let it be noted that I LOVE blueberry muffins. So I eat my muffin, drink my sprite, and sleep most of the day. All great, right? Nope. We get home from a quick Walmart run and I gotta GO. So I do my thing and when I turn to flush, I look at the damage.
It looked like blueberries floating in the bowl. I figured it was probably blood clots, cuz my GI tract is fucked. I flush and go on with my life. Hour or so later, back in the bathroom. Same thing, more blueberry-looking things. So I grab a medical glove and fish one out, cuz I gotta know if these are truly blood clots, cuz there's a LOT.
So I'm standing there, gloved hand with toilet berry and a baby wipe. Smush it and it turns the wipe purple. So I take a closer look. It's a freaking BLUEBERRY. I'm shitting freaking blueberries. I yell to my husband and I'm like "When tf did I eat blueberries?" And of course, he reminds me of my muffin. This is great.
TLDR; I ate a blueberry muffin and am now shitting whole blueberries.
WhichWayzUp: You're a 24 year old woman married to a 40 year old man?
Teh_Mongoose: Go on, explain why you want the answer to that?
WhichWayzUp: Because let's see if it passes the "acceptable age gap formula:"
Take the older person's age, divide by 2 then add 7.
40 ÷ 2 + 7 = 27.
27 is the youngest appropriate age a 40-year-old should have a romantic relationship with.
Teh_Mongoose: Whew, I'm glad youve solved that. You want to tell OP her relationship is wrong then, or should someone else do that?
WhichWayzUp: Ok.
Hey, u/AltheaTheDreamer, you & your husband need to separate until he's 46 and you're 30, because that is the soonest you two will meet the minimum criteria of the age gap formula.
And you need to study nutrition because eating a muffin to nurse a sick stomach is nutritionally ignorant.
Teh_Mongoose: Well, glad that's sorted. Good work all round people.
ChiSandTwitch: It's amazing to think people like this still exist isn't it?
Like, what the fuck is wrong with having a partner that's older or younger than you?
Fucking dumb as hell comment
| 8 | 2.375 | |
1661054732 | 1661062317 | t3_wtq3xi | t5_2to41 | 6 | laszlolmh: TIFU by being a Creative Writing BFA
This is not exactly today but years in the making. I recently graduated with a BFA in Creative Writing and have always dreamt of becoming a teacher or higher education professor.
I moved back with my parents/family immediately after graduation, as there was no point in living on the other side of the country if I was finished with school. Where I live now, on the west coast, to become a middle or high school level teacher either requires more school, BA or MA in education, or an alternative certification program which just means more school too.
I’ve already done research into ways of getting out of doing any more education, as I don’t have any money and neither do my parents, but everything just seems so convoluted and the results seem flimsy; one potential route and result is applying for a subject matter expert certificate in English, but it still requires that I take a number of tests, which cost money, and apply for the certification, and the certificate would be so specialized I don’t feel as though I’d be as attractive a candidate in the job search as someone with a more generalized education degree.
I’ve also considered doing a general English MA/PhD program at the local university, considering that would help me get closer to my goal of teaching at the higher education level, but if I wanted to teach at the middle or high school level before getting a job teaching higher education I’d still have to become certified to teach at those levels, which as I mentioned would require more schooling.
I’ve got upwards of five years of experience working with programs, previous jobs, which provided mentoring and tutoring and independent life skills services to nuerodivergent college-aged students yet for similar jobs in my current area and jobs related/semi-related to education I’m not nearly as attractive as applicants with their MA.
I’ve applied to over 10 jobs at local education institutions that offer similar jobs to those which I’ve done in the past however I’ve been rejected from all of them. I’ve applied to over 50 jobs in total yet those more than 10 right in my wheelhouse were the ones I was most confident in. With the US being in a recession, and me not being able to get jobs I’m totally qualified for, should I just focus on pursuing another higher education degree?
I’m really struggling with what to do and how to do it, which path or paths to take, so if anyone has any input whatsoever please feel free to comment or DM me.
TL;DR TIFU by achieving a BFA in Creative Writing while my ultimate goal is to become a teacher/professor and realizing I need more education to be successful.
Aggravating-Bee-5163: Maybe consider researching what jobs in various student services departments in higher ed are like, and which might suit you. I would suggest Academic Advising or Recruiting, or various grant programs like TRiO. Much better than part time adjuncting, these are full time with benefits. Get free Master's Degree tuition if you're working at a university with a program you like. Community colleges are a great foot in the door.
laszlolmh: That’s my thinking, I’ve applied to many, many open positions at the local university but haven’t gotten any. I’ve had a few interviews and emphasized how much I’d love to be a part of the program and student life and intend on attending some program there but still no dice.
| 3 | 2 | |
1661061178 | 1661062607 | t3_wtrzut | t5_2to41 | 14 | chorusgirl2012: TIFU by renting an apartment sight unseen
tldr: Property management inspector was either high, drunk, blind, or lied. Either way, I'm temporarily homeless.
You're in for a bit of a long rant here. Gotta get this off my chest.
So for context, I am a college student who attends school out of state. During last school year, my friend and I decided we want to move off campus together. This was all fine and dandy, the only issue is that we would have to search for an apartment online because neither of us would be around our school area for the whole summer.
Midway through summer we finally find a nice apartment that is within budget. It is a cute basement apartment that seems perfect for us. We even have a friend in town who checks out the place and likes it. We sign the lease and get prepared to move in.
Fast forward to move-in day. We get the keys and are ready to move the boxes inside. The first thing I notice is the slight odor that is around our apartment. I originally assumed that it's a bug-repellent scent, (boy was I wrong). Moving around the apartment, I start noticing how dirty it is. Everything is covered in a layer of dust and cobwebs.
I am feeling really down about this new place. There seemed to be so much cleaning work before we could even bring things inside. But then my roommate arrives. We start talking about the apartment's potential and I start to feel a bit more chipper. I think "oh well, we can handle some deep cleaning right".
Then, oh then, I hear the dreaded words spoken by my roommate's dad... "We just found black mold in your bedroom."
I am shocked and confused. Upon further investigation, my bedroom and the room next to it have black mold growing on the wall. Also, the inside of my closet is damp and must have some sort of leak. This is when my mom tells me that the smell I noticed before was actually the scent of mold and mildew. Fun.
We call the property management to tell them what we have found. Mind you our move-in day was a Friday. They tell us they can't send someone out UNTIL MONDAY. They tell us that no mold was found in yesterday's inspection and that all the maintenance people are booked. We start freaking out and asking what the heck we are supposed to do until then. They basically say tough luck and just ask for pictures.
The woman on the phone seemed to not believe us... until they received the pictures. NOW they are apologetic and crediting our rent until we can move in. I think they realized they screwed up big time.
So for now my roommate and I are staying with friends. We have gotten to work cleaning away the layers of dust and spider webs while trying to avoid the molded areas. Classes start Monday. This should be fun.
MrPassenki: There is usually an underlying issue for mold in a bedroom. Try asking the cleaners about it
chorusgirl2012: We believe there is a pipe in the wall that is leaking or that water is coming in from outside because the mold is in the drywall. But won’t know anything for sure until Monday.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1661062834 | 1661063404 | t3_wtsh16 | t5_2to41 | 13 | PerceptionCharming21: TIFU by wiping my shit with a towel and forgetting to put it in the laundry
I am pretty sure I have ADHD, I am always careless and leaving things around. Forgetting what to do next during my day. It's annoying. This story happened a few weeks ago (for context, I live in a student dorm).
I come home, take a pleasant pile of shit. I wipe it with toilet paper. Then later on, I go about my day and decide to hit the shower. I am certain I hit every single spot. I hop off the shower, and proceed to wipe my body, then finally my butt. I love rubbing my butt, and since I have a big butt (esp for a dude), it's a nice feeling to just use friction. So I go back and forth around 2-3 times with the towel. Then, I look down because I felt something...gooey? And it had a nasty smell.
Oh no...I just wiped my own fucking shit with my towel. And it's a small-to-medium sized streak, like someone spread neatly spread sauce over it. I put it down in a bucket and instantly look at myself in the mirror with disappointment and regret at my lack of hygiene. But the story....doesn't end there.
I leave the bucket outside, as I plan to take it to the laundry tomorrow along with my other clothes.
I am sleeping at it's around 10am and I hear a loud ass knock, "ROOM INSPECTION! OPEN UP!". I forgot that there are room inspections happening today. So I get up and put on my rope and rub my eyes in tiredness, not even notice the shit bucket, and go to open to the door. The inspector, a guy we shall call Dan, apologises for disturbing but asks if I can go in to do a basic inspection with the bathroom and vice versa. I said sure and let him in. He instantly notices the shit mark on my towel, and I just die inside in every degree of embarassement. He goes to the bathroom does the check, checks the cupboards and vice versa. Then awkwardly leaves. I feel relieved, maybe be assumed it was chocolate? Idk. Shit happens I guess.
The story doesn't end there...
It's around 11pm and I am ready to go downstairs and put my clothes in the laundry. I get the shit bucket, cover the towel with my other dirty clothes and leave. I go to the laundry room, and there's a girl that I spoke to in the campus a few months ago. She didn't say anything, it was kinda awkward but not at the same time. I quickly realise that I am carrying a towel with shit in it. As she's looking away, I am scrambling to get the clothes in, and as I reach for the towel, the angle of the shit shows as she looks to her laundry machine in the same direction. I know she saw because she made a weird awkward look but tried to hide it.
I increase the rate of putting my clothes in, but keep my calm composure as if nothing embarassing happened. She then leaves after waiting for her laundry to start.
I then leave, thinking to myself "did she actually see? What if she assumed it was chocolate or curry? it was curry, if anyone asks it is either curry or chocolate?". I spent the rest of the night trying to recreate the scene (possibly my OCD) in my room to reassure myself that she didn't see.
I see her friend group a couple of days later and idk if it's me being paranoid but one of them looked for a bit too long and smiled and looked away. The main girl also looked at me but didn't say anything. But yeah, I also finished my laundry and there was no shit in afterwards so that's the positive part. I now wipe my butt properly.
tl;dr
wiping my shit with a towel, put it in bucket for laundry, inspector comes in next day and sees it (awkward), then I take it downstairs later that day to wash it, another girl sees it as I put it, I am embarassed and paranoid about being 'that' guy in campus now,
ThatTotal2020: So you missed wiping everything with the TP, but also missed the opportunity of washing it off in the shower? If you had washed it all off there would've never been a shit towel.
PerceptionCharming21: I know
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1661063894 | 1661102185 | t3_wtsrb7 | t5_2to41 | 4,762 | gae_LA: TIFU by putting hot sauce on my titties
Not today but this happened a couple years ago.
It was April fool’s day and I was gonna hang out with some guy I was seeing at the time.
I was sitting in bed a little high when suddenly I thought it would be a funny April fools prank if I put hot sauce on my nipples right before he came over. It was a very fwb type relationship so he and I both knew what he was coming over to do.
Right when he was at the door I put a BUNCH of hot sauce all over my nipples. And it wasn’t Valentina or Frank’s hot sauce either, it was the el Yucateco habanero xxxtra hot sauce. He could barely handle the sting of toothpaste so this stuff would kill him.
So after a couple minutes we’re making out and it’s killing me my nipples sting so bad but I keep waiting it out. Eventually he takes off my shirt and starts kissing my neck, and I’m gritting my teeth this whole time, it’s hurting real bad now. Right as his mouth moves to the start of my titties he stops to ask me what smells so strongly of jalapeño.
Somehow I didn’t consider the extremly
strong smell of the hot sauce. So yeah that flopped, he realized right away what I had done to myself.
Anyways I spent the next half an hour washing my burning nipples with absolutely no relief. Though, eventually I discovered that butter could soothe my hot sauce burn.
I ended up spending the night with him every so often adding more butter to my nipples while laughing at me OFC.
TLDR: LADIES DO NOT PUT HOT SAUCE ON YOUR TITTIES!!
Edit : I recently realized men have nipples too so ladies AND men do NOT put hot sauce on your titties.
Also thank you so much for all the engagement. I was not expecting so many responses!!!
Though a lot of you do seem very hung up on the “why” aspect ( reasonably so) so I’d like to explain myself. My sex Ed growing up was atrocious and I genuinely thought that since you can put hot sauce on regular skin why not nipple skin. And that was my whole thought process. Yes I am that stupid :)
AccountantOk7335: Yeah dont do that
gae_LA: Who knew nipples had pores?? Not I
creamersrealm: Everyone because of lactation.
angryasianBB: Wait, but wouldn't the milk neutralise the capsaicin?
Does that mean this trick could actually work for breastfeeding women?
Gibonius: They can prank their babies with hot sauce. Checks out.
Foxfire73: Babies LOVE hot sauce!
| 7 | 680.285714 | |
1661063720 | 1661112478 | t3_wtspnl | t5_2to41 | 801 | MrBloodyHyphen: TIFU by shaving my (almost) beard and moustache
So this happened just 5 minutes ago.
I had to get a haircut today and had the worst idea ever. So I was at the Salon and I thought I should get my beard and moustache shaved. It doesn't look bad or anything but I always thought that I might look better without them. I was so wrong. Now I'm 17 so I don't have a 'real moustache and beard' but those hairs you get when facial hair first start appearing on your face. Told him to get rid of my 'beard' (first TIFU) but then I looked very weird with just the moustache so I told him to shave that too (second TIFU). So now I have baby face and I look weird cuz that moustache had been growing for over a year. On top of that I have a chubby face so I look like an actual baby. I should've just let it grow into an actual beard and moustache before doing this smh.
TL;DR - Got my moustache and beard shave and now I have a baby face (ಥ︵ಥ)
Edit - Thanks for the advice everyone and it's been a while since I got those 'fuzzy' hair shaved and I have to say that the look is kinda growing on me. Also I said I have a baby face because my face is chubby and I actually kinda look like a toddler, just much bigger.
-_Flapjack_-: Better to go without untill you get good facial hair trust me.
earthwarder: IF\* you get good facial hair. Genetics can be cruel.
Arcadnus: Agreed. I'm in love with these lumberjack beards, but I'm an Japanese. I got a little paint brush under my jaw, and it's saddening
EsotericOcelot: I always wish we folk with more hair or boobs than we want could just give them to others who want more
Arcadnus: And also, people that have too much and want to get rid of it anyway(I.E, boobs giving backaches, or gf complaining about PP being too big it hurts)would have the option to get their problems yeeted while also being able to capitalize on it... dang, now I'm imagining the black market having even more reasons to kidnap a person for its organs.... ouch
| 6 | 133.5 | |
1661064721 | 1661067055 | t3_wtszdz | t5_2to41 | 31 | Sufficient-Stand-499: TIFU by ignoring a pain near my gooch
I work in a very hot and very busy kitchen, I'm talking busy from 4-11 p.m consistently, and usually around 100-110 temperature wise during the summer. Today was especially hot, it was humid Because of a recent short spout of rain, and it was around 90 outside. As soon as I stepped outside to walk to work I felt this grogginess from the humidity and heat working together to brew this perfect storm. When I got to work I went about business as usual, washing hands filling toppings, restocking veggies, prepping ovens and stovetops. I noticed that I was getting pretty sweaty and spent a little time in the walk in freezer, then the real work started, we got blasted with an early rush and I spent around 4 1/2 hours straight in the hottest, most damp feeling kitchen ever, all while sweating my ass off, almost literally. About halfway through I feel a slight pain, I figure it's a twisted hair and that it'll sort itself out, so I keep on going along walking back and forth from dishes to the stoves and ovens all that time. I get off work and head straight home, by this time the pain was a little worse but I still didn't think much of it. Until right now, I am sitting here in my shower with one of the worst chafes I've ever seen, it's looks gross and feels gross too, along with the pain that's making it stupid hard to walk now. I still have 2 days left until I get a day off and have no idea what I'm going to do, genuinely feels like I might have to call in tomorrow, who tf knows at this point.
TLDR: I work in a hot sweaty kitchen, ignored a pain near my gooch and now have one of the worst chafes I've seen with 2 days left of work.
Geologyst1013: Get Body Glide. It'll save your ass. Literally.
Sufficient-Stand-499: Is it available at like dollar general or Walmart?
Geologyst1013: Maybe. I got mine at Target.
Sufficient-Stand-499: Alright, I'm hoping for the best
Geologyst1013: It saves my inner thighs and underboobs in Southern summer.
Sufficient-Stand-499: I appreciate the advice, hopefully I'll find some soon cuz the way the forecast looks I'm gonna need it
| 7 | 4.428571 | |
1661065459 | 1661118425 | t3_wtt6o3 | t5_2to41 | 15 | I-Was-An-Oops: TIFU by disconnecting my Bluetooth earbuds
Tifu and probably the most embarrassing moment in my life up to this point. I had a long day of traveling,hanging out at an airport having a few beer just dreading my 6 hour flight ahead of me. I was trying to get my Bluetooth earbuds to connect to my iPad, having no luck and realizing my flight is about to board I threw my iPad back into my bag. I get to the crowd of people waiting to board and people are staring at me with a disgust/WTF look and at that point I could hear the music coming from my bag. Of all the songs that could of pop up and played it just had to be “I got bitches” by A2M. As I’m struggling to get my backpack off and rush to turn my iPad off, the song goes to chorus…
“
I got bitches all on my dick everyday
Suckin' on my balls, lickin' on my balls
Bitches, they know, stick it in their bootyhole
My balls, my balls, suck on my balls”
I don’t even know why I even have that song, not any more! There where old people and mothers sending so much hate through there stares! Cherry on top I had to sit next to a very upset mother for 6 hours.
RIP
TL;DR Didn’t realize my IPad playing crud song very loudly amongst a large group of people
Super_Manic: Furiously searches his bag
*turns that shit up*
broengineer: LMAOOOO
| 3 | 5 | |
1661065686 | 1661273672 | t3_wtt8rr | t5_2to41 | 56 | Apprehensive-Hat3377: TIFU when prune juice made me it’s bitch
Prune juice made me it’s bitch
Prune Juice is a MONSTER
So I’ve been struggling with some stomach pains and issues for the last two weeks or so and went to the doctor to have it checked out and they recommended blood work but basically told me I was fine so I just went along dealing with the pain.
Fast forward to this weekend. I went back to the doctor for more stomach discomfort and not being able to go to the bathroom/ having weird bowel movements. I thought I was just having a bug or something but noticed I could not poop at all. This weekend I didn’t poop at all for over a day which is not normal for me and kept trying to no prevail. I had my girlfriend take me to Walmart cause I read online that prune juice is a great natural supplement to help with constipation. I had been feeling very bloated the last few days and just wanted anything to work.
Tonight we left Walmart and I took a brief sip of it in the car. When we got home I drank probably two pints of it thinking it probably wouldn’t do that much and that it would just make me have to poop a little. Boy was I wrong. I’m sitting at my desk after downing almost half of a half gallon and google like and idiot how much should I drink. Google recommended between 4-8 ounces which I went way over on. About an hour later my stomach starts feeling upset and I go to my room to chill out and watch TikTok on my phone
10 minutes later this weird gut sound comes shooting around my stomach. It’s a weird pain almost but my stomach is making crazy noises I’ve never heard. I get up and sit down at the toilet and let out what was probably the most biblical shit I’ve ever had. Literally spewing everywhere. After 10 minutes of hell I hop in the shower. In the shower I was cleaning up with some body wash and accidentally drop it on the ground. I bent down and reached for it only to feel like the gates of hell had opened and I started exploding shit all over my shower.
It’s been roughly 3 hours now and I’m in bed contemplating every decision I made with that drink……
TL;DR
333H_E: I feel your pain OP. I'm about to hit the juice next. The half a bag of cherries gallon of water and tub of granola have not had the desired effect. Wish me luck.
ClasicRed: FYI cherries have the opposite effect of what you were trying to achieve
333H_E: I suppose that depends on individual physiology. Mine is rather strange, they have inadvertently caused that effect in me before. Which doesn't preclude the possibility that they decided to do the opposite in my time of need.
| 4 | 14 | |
1661067268 | 1661067684 | t3_wttnue | t5_2to41 | 1 | lookout122: TIFU deletes old reddit account
[removed]
lufan132: Lol.
Lol.
Lol.
Lol.
Lol.
Lol.
Lol.
That's a lot of lols.
lookout122: Yup bro! Had to keep laughing at myself for my stupidity. And now im back here! Lol
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1661067480 | 1661190084 | t3_wttpvk | t5_2to41 | 6 | JeniRo25: TIFU by using acetone
Hi, English is not my first language so please be patient and if I misspelled something, please let me know kindly so I can learn more, thank you
So I (20F) decided last night that it was time to re-do my nails (hands and toes) because they looked awful and I have a party tomorrow, so I went to get the acetone (or nail polish remover) and a pair of cotton balls to remove the old nail polish, but when I smelled the acetone, it was so strong that it made my eyes sting and water a little, but I didn't think anything of it so I just continue to remove the nail polish
But suddenly, when I was removing it from my toenails, I started to feel my fingers burning (thumb, index and middle fingers of both hands) and super hot when I put them in my face (yeah, I'm not the smartest and put my burning fingers on my face a couple times, luckily nothing happened to my face, lol), but again, I didn't think anything about it, I was just trying to understand why my fingers were burning and as soon as I finished removing the polish I went directly to wash my hands, hoping that it would help with the burning (spoiler alert, it didn't) I put some cream in my hands and went to sleep deciding that I would put the new nail polish today because it was too late already (2am)
This morning when I woke up,.I felt my fingers weird and smoothly but I didn't feel any bump or any signs of a blister, but as the day went on I could feel how the blisters were forming and getting bigger and bigger as the day went by and right now I have 3 blisters and I think I'll have another one by tomorrow (I have another tiny blister in my middle finger on my right hand)
My dad was the one that bought this bottle of acetone and after showing him the blisters and talking to him about what happened, he told me that he bought it in a Chinese shop (in my country is normal to find products from China that are very cheap but also has very low quality, you can find this products everywhere but you can also find an entire shop filled with this very cheap/poor quality products) and he, my boyfriend and I think that the chemicals in the acetone were VERY strong and/or even after washing my hands after using it one of the chemicals stayed in my skin and burned it instead of evaporating in the air like it would normally do
So yeah, now have 3 blisters, one in my thumb (this one is huge and makes it almost impossible to write on my phone) and in my two index fingers (also big but not comparable with the thumb one, lol)
Chemical burns are not fun, lmao
All because I wanted pretty nails for a party, now I have 3 blisters and I start my new job on monday with 3 giant blisters on the tips of my fingers (work from home) so yeah, we'll see how that goes, lol
TL;DR: Decided yo remove my old nail polish, used acetone but the chemicals were too strong because the product is low quality and very cheap and got myself a chemical burn and 3 giant blisters but they will hopefully disappear in the next few days
_Bryant_: Yikes. We put our trust in products we buy, not the best way to find out it's a bad one.
JeniRo25: Yeah, I'm definitely going to be super careful the next time I used acetone, lol
Xrgonic369: I am a chemist. Acetone itself should not do this to you. We regularly use pure acetone to clean glassware and get it all over our skin. Your reaction is not likely to acetone. It’s much more likely there is some other chemical in it that is doing this to you. I advise never using products that don’t list all the ingredients. Without knowing what is in it, you can’t know what you are reacting to and why you are reacting and you won’t know what to avoid in the future.
JeniRo25: Thank you, I've never had this reaction to acetone so it was really shocking when it happened.
In the back of the product just says 4 ingredients in this order: acetone, hardener, VEHICLE (it literally says vehicle in my language, LMAO) and colorant (wich is weird because it's transparent). My best guess is that it is an imitation product with the lowest quality posible, because my mom have bought this product in the supermarket before and nothing ever happened to any of us but this one bottle was the one my dad bought in a cheap shop
But something interesting happened last night at the party, I was telling my friends about this story and how I burned myself with acetone and one of them told me that a few of his female friends/classmates have had the same problem, so yeah, there's that, I don't know what us happening but at least I'm not the only one, but I don't really know what is happening
I'll definitely be more careful with this product in the future, but for the moment I'll just try and take care of my poor fingers
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1661072006 | 1661130427 | t3_wtuvx1 | t5_2to41 | -1 | iFuckBuses: TIFU by cuddling with my best friend at a youth group
I (16M) go to this youth group with my friends Excelsior (16M), Layla (16F), Jay (16M), and Allison (16NB). I am best friends with Allison, and have been for a while. Me and Allison like to cuddle or just lean on each other, whether it be while watching a movie, riding the bus, or when one is browsing TikTok or something.
This starts with us going to the youth group, and use having a good time, throwing frisbees, chucking balls at each other, and eating a popsicle (or seven). After a while, we settle down, and sit on the couch, browsing TikTok, Reddit, or in my case, a public transit server. Now, a thing about Allison is that; they like their rest/sleep, a lot. Allison seems to get tired easily when not doing much, and kind of goes into a "hibernation" state, where they are still alert, but just resting. In this youth group, the building was blasting A/C to the point of it being freezing cold. Naturally, I get a blanket, and Allison wants to share it, and I do. Eventually, I get a bit tired as well, and me and Allison kind of cuddle up like we usually do.
Now, people were a bit suspicious, which is understandable, but as we were both responsive and didn't look like we were, y'know, a state of pleasure, it was put off by all other youth there. We don't think much of it, and we later continue our day. At the end of the youth group, we were separately pulled aside and talked to. Later, we were brought together to talk about it, and we were fucking grilled as to whether or not we were or were not pleasuring the other person. We swore up and down we weren't (me and Allison haven't even seen each other in underwear), and they continued to harass us about us doing stuff that wasn't supposed to be happening, and eventually let us go.
I feel fucking terrible. We normally hug each other being splitting off to go separate ways, but today they made Layla sit between us on the bus and didn't want to hug me before splitting off. Now that may seem insignificant, but I am extremely emotional, and hugs help me a lot. Everything just made me feel like shit. I hate that everyone thinks me and Allison have a sexual relationship, when we do not.
The kicker? I have a crush on Allison, and this has likely put a dent in me getting together with them, and possibly our friendship. I just feel like the youth workers could have intervened differently, instead of making us feel like shit for literally being humans, who often cuddle with another, because humans sometimes needs another persons touch/support. I tried texting Allison to see if they were doing alright, and they haven't responded yet. It sucks.
TL;DR: Cuddled with my best friend, made people think I and my best friend got each other off
**Following**
suagtforutube: This became funny when you said you have a crush on Alison. What the fuck?
Either tell her or dont be friends with her. You do know you are putting yourself up for misery if she doesn't think so right.
Please be casual and do not confess like you are desperate and wanted to fuck her since years ago.
iFuckBuses: I plan on telling Allison I like them soon after Excelsior tells Layla that he likes her.
And yes, I will be casual, and it will likely be in a private space or away from other people.
ilhares: Why are you waiting on someone else to do it first? Sack up and speak your feelings. Worst case is they aren't reciprocated, but either way the air is cleared. If she's not into you, okay. Certainly doesn't have to damage the friendship. Been there, been through it.
iFuckBuses: Made an agreement with my friend so me and my friend don't accidentally ask out our crush on the same day.
ilhares: I didn't give you the downvote (somebody didn't like that answer, I guess), but.. I mean, it is your life. I just don't grok the decision process.
I wish you luck!
| 6 | -0.166667 | |
1661074640 | 1661140193 | t3_wtvkf6 | t5_2to41 | 1,323 | Spiritual-Ad8466: TIFU by not knowing how condoms work
So I \[24M\] am an idiot when it comes to a lot of stuff. I was lucky before with my ex that she was on the pill and she didn't require me to wear condoms, so I never did with her. However, we broke up and I went on a solo holiday to get a break.
Over there I meet the cutest girl ever. I am talking funny, smart, beautiful, elegant, the whole picture. For some odd reason this way out of my league girl really fancies me as well. Fast forward a few days and after a few drinks we are making out in my hotel room. Then she asked me if I have any condoms, which I sadly didn't have, since I never worn them in the first place. She shrugged it off and we basically continued the night without PIV sex.
The next morning I buy condoms and again she comes over. We get busy and when she asks if I have condoms I say yes. Her face lit up a little bit and we frisk each other a little more before I get one. Now the last time someone instructed me how to use a condom was almost 10 years ago on a banana in health class. I figured I didn't forget.
I figured wrong. I kept trying to roll it over my tip and foreskin, but it just kept going back. She was very patient about it, but after I felt my erection getting lost I figured it wasn't worth the hassle and we just continue without PIV again. She was very nice about it.
Now for the next week she always came over and this ritual unfolded so many times. One time it did fit miraculously and we were able to do it, but all the other times I just gave up, giving excuses like the condoms being too small, me having whiskey dick or anything else. I had to go home and that was the last time I saw her.
But it kept bugging me that I wasn't able to put condoms on. Surely something was wrong here. Then I started googling...
What I didn't realize is that you have to make sure you unroll the right side of the condom. I kept struggling because I put it on wrong so it didn't go down. That one time I got lucky is when I accidently had the right side up.
TL;DR, Never had sex before with a condom so didn't know that there is a right and wrong side on it
BartlebySanchez: On top of there being a right and wrong way to unroll them:
Make sure to pinch the tip to not let air get trapped inside, the air and friction will tear the condom.
Don’t use 2 thinking it will double the protection. They will break.
Make sure to have a little play at the end, the little reservoir tip is little, but if it’s on you too tight and you have a large volume of semen production, your semen can travel up the condom looking for the path of least resistance and leak out at the base.
Speaking of too tight: make sure the condom fits.
After you ejaculate, don’t stay inside for long, losing your erection can cause the condom to slip off while inside your partner.
Don’t wallet your condoms, the heat and friction will make them weak.
Don’t reuse them, they’re one and done.
Also, if you put one on, and it comes off, do not try to put it back on, trash it and use another.
If you think that semen ever comes in contact with the outside of a condom, even if it’s the smallest trace amount of semen, trash it. Clean yourself. And use a new one.
Testobesto123: >Don’t reuse them, they’re one and done.
The fact this needs to be said worries me, I just hate the fucking thought of someone washing it and re-using it.
Maddwag5023: Recycling is good for the earth!
I_Thot_So: Overpopulation by stupid people is ruining the planet
Maddwag5023: Nah—it’s not such a bad place. Turn off the news and go for a walk.
NoObstacle: Sounds like you need to watch the news though 😅
aussie_nub: The news is sensationalised a lot. Maddwag is not entirely wrong about turning it off and going for a walk.
We're wayyyyy too glued to it now. We've had less war and less crime for a while now, but people watch and consume so much news that they think the world is about to end.
InsertValidUserHere: fr. like, the news only reports on things that get them money?? if they get attention, it means money, if they get money, they get richer, and they like richer, so they want more richer
aussie_nub: TBF, everyone likes to be richer. All those people that are pro feeding the poor, lowering gas emissions, etc... doing it from their ivory towers.
Honestly, I don't really care if others get rich, except for 2 things:
1. They ruin others as they go
2. They pretend like they're not in it for the money.
Anti-vaxxers that complain about big pharma? They do it to get a larger audience... for more money. Vegans protesting? To draw in a greater audience... for you guessed it, more money. Charities are the same. Activists too. They all just pretend. At least Rupert Murdoch, Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg, Jeff Bezos and the like are pretty transparent about it (Except they stomp all over others as they go, so they fail test number 1).
| 10 | 132.3 | |
1661079341 | 1661080808 | t3_wtwskg | t5_2to41 | 6 | MortalSinsOfSven: TIFU by ensuring my work was good
So I work in a jewellery shop which has a small workshop attached. Whilst we can take pretty much any repair, I'm only trained to perform watch battery replacements and basic solders but have been doing them for several months with no issue.
Yesterday we had a customer come in needing a battery changed. I take the watch, head over to the side room so as to crack the back off and switch out the battery.
Now some watch backs have a hard time snapping back into place so there is a press which can properly apply the back. You simply place a plastic block with the same diameter of the watch face beneath the watch (face down) and then another disc on top, lightly apply the press, and the back should properly snap into place. Now it is crucial to get the disc size correct otherwise the pressure won't be distributed on the casing and problems then happen.
This particular watch was one of the cases where the back just doesn't look right despite hearing the usual snap so I thought I would double check by using the press. So ensues my f-up.
I get a disc which I thought was to size, placed it, the watch, and the other disc down beneath the press. The instant I apply the tiniest amount of pressure to the watch, I hear a small crunch. My heart immediately drops like a stone. I knew immediately what had happened. I flipped the watch over and, sure enough, there was a spiderweb of cracks all over the watch face.
Thank god that the customer was cool with it. I ended up apologising profusely to them and to my bosses. My pay got docked the cost to repair the watch, which was stupidly enough three times the scrap price of the watch.
TL;DR I tried to ensure that I had done my job well. Used a too small disc and now have to pay for a watch repair out of my wage
puppymonkeybaby79: I can't understand why people get their pay docked for workplace errors. Not a very good business practice.
MortalSinsOfSven: We don't do watch repairs in house so it has to be sent away. The cost of which got taken out of my wage which is fair enough
puppymonkeybaby79: I disagree that it is fair. Businesses carry insurance for incidents like that.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1661079591 | 1661127505 | t3_wtwv03 | t5_2to41 | 259 | Lizzy6891: tifu by driving though wet paint on a shared driveway
In fact it was yesterday. But I had my bf's car and the landlord was doing some work outside the shared house where I live. He knocked over some paint, and there was a big puddle of it in the front paved area where we all park. I reversed through it, and then drove out onto the road leaving painty tyre imprints all over the place plus there is still paint in the deep parts of the tyre treads which absolutely nobody is pleased about and somehow has to be got off. It has made a real mess.
My landlord is really fed up with me although I think it was at least in part his own fault for leaving the spillage unattended. It's kind of funny, although it kind of isn't. Mr friends certainly think it's a huge joke. Hmmm.
tl:dr: I drove through a puddle of paint and spread it everywhere on a shared drive, and even got some on the road. It's a hell of a job to clean up, and not all of it has been cleaned even now..
UnadvertisedAndroid: Rent a power washer. You'll probably actually enjoy cleaning it up.
MydoglookslikeanEwok: I think this is 100% the landlord's responsibility to clean. The tenant (OP) is not responsible for the landlord's paint spillage and for their failure to place traffic cones or sawhorses or some sort of blockade around the spill. The landlord should also be held responsible for the paint on the car tires (tyres) as well.
UnadvertisedAndroid: I don't disagree, but sometimes you need to choose your battles. This one is an easy one because a power washer will be fun to use and get the job done. OP can ask the land lord to rent it, but they're not that expensive so even if they say no it's not a huge concession to make.
alose: Fuck that noise. Renting a power washer costs money. Landlord's mistake, landlord's obligation to fix.
UnadvertisedAndroid: Pick. Your. Battles.
You learn this as you mature. Not everything is worth souring a lopsided relationship over. The landlord holds more sway over OP than OP does over the landlord. This isn't worth pushing to see if they realize that.
_TheNecromancer13: I would argue that you should absolutely pick this battle though. If ~~landlord~~ house scalper knows he can get away with not fixing stuff that he's legally obligated to fix, and that if he just refuses, tenant will do it for him, a lot of ~~landlords~~ house scalpers will take that knowledge and milk it for all that it's worth once they realize you'll easily cave. Give them an inch, they'll take a mile.
UnadvertisedAndroid: You're ignoring the lopsided relationship.
| 8 | 32.375 | |
1661080612 | 1661082370 | t3_wtx5sk | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU BY DELETING MY GIRLFRIENDS PHONE
[deleted]
shadesofwolves: You're afraid your partner will be violent with you and you threatened to fight her dad?
🚩🚩🚩
You didn't even mention anything about how you actually deleted the phone.
Devittraisedto2: >You didn't even mention anything about how you actually deleted the phone.
Sounds like there might have been evidence of something there and that's why he deleted it. Guy probably used his gf's fingerprints to open it/knows her password then did a clean sweep.
If that's the case, dude also probably deleted all the backup files, because he wouldve restored all the data if he could.
| 3 | 1 | |
1661081741 | 1661097707 | t3_wtxhen | t5_2to41 | 103 | No_Reaction8122: TIFU by snooping and learning my mum is a meth addict
So background. My mum was abusive she is a single mum but would constantly have explosive anger which generally was directed to my older brother. I was emotionally neglected and would essentially be the comfort for my mum and bro when she would explode and then get sad. Because of these I struggle with anxiety and depression (major depression and anxiety disorder)Up until today it was just “that’s how she is” “she has her own trauma from her childhood” etc. and don’t get me wrong my mum didn’t have the best start in life. But she messed us up a lot. And I try everyday to not have it be my excuse for having my life fail. She hasn’t been employed in almost 10year and because of her rage episodes she kicked me out at 17 and our relationship never truly healed. So now for the mess up. I am back living with her whilst I finish my university degree as cost of living prices exceed my budget. Mum had health issue which resulted in ED visits. I read her discharge paperwork. She had tried to hide it from me or exclude certain pages but I found and read them.. she is a meth user. And has been for our entire lives. I am in a spin now as I look back at every episode, every night I cried myself to sleep asking for it to stop and even the good times are soiled by the fact she could have been high during. I don’t know what to do now. Do I tell my brother? Do I talk to her about it? I don’t know if I can have her in my life once I finish my degree as I want a family and would never allow that shit to be around my kids. All around a shit situation.
TL;DR TIFU and found out my mums a meth addict
EDIT/ firstly thanks for the nice comments! I have decided to protect myself, I am not bringing it up to my mum until I no longer live with her so I don’t end up homeless. I also haven’t told my brother for the same reason, he would react if he found out which would end with her finding out. So for now I keep my mouth shut. Thanks again
Hutchoman87: You did not* fuck up. You finally realized why your mother is like she is. She’s a threat to you and yours long term health. Your brother has a right to know also
hills_for_breakfast: I’m guessing you have a typo there: “You *did* fuck up”
Hutchoman87: Indeed and fixed
| 4 | 25.75 | |
1661081820 | 1661109775 | t3_wtxi8g | t5_2to41 | 78 | Southern_Contest334: TIFU by possibly ruining the best friendship I've ever had
So as with most things in this sub this wasn't today but around a year and a half ago but I need to get this off my mind.
I (26m) have (had) been best friends with, for the sake of privacy call her Jane (26f), since high school. Jane and I would talk almost every day, hang out as often as was possible smoking pot and shooting the shit. Jane has been in a long term relationship for a very long time and she would tell me everything about it, the good, the bad and the very ugly.
Now to the actual TIFU. On her birthday she had been having a terrible day, nothing was going right for her, her boyfriend (who is an utter horror of a person to her) had been ignoring her all day, hadn't even bothered attempting to see her. There's alot I could say but for her own privacy I won't go into the shit she's been through with him. We had been talking all day and I realised how bad her day was going throughout as we'd been talking. At about 9.30pm the same day I told her if she needed the company to talk to and someone to hang out with to let me know and I'd be right there. I never expected her to actually want me to come by but she said she needed it. So I, being what I thought was a good friend at the time, decided to go and try cheer her up and help make her day better as I had many times before by having a smoke and chatting about everything going on in life. This was my first FU.
Before I'd left she was telling me that it probably wasn't the best idea but was happy for me to come round (this should have been my first realisation of things to come). When I did get there she had been having a few drinks and offered me some. I joined her in having a fair few, smoking the devil's lettuce and chatting whilst playing games to keep Janes mind off the day she had. Whilst playing games she was getting closer too me as I was getting drunker and thought nothing of it until she was wrapped around me. My second FU was not realising what was going on, as she was burying her head in my chest telling me how nice I smelt. I still thought nothing of it (being drunk as hell at this point and stoned as hell).
Then came my third FU when she started to kiss me. At first I tried to stop it, knowing she was with someone and had been for a long time, but I'd also be lying if I didn't say it hadn't been something I'd wanted to happen. One thing leads to another and we end up sleeping together.
After the deed had been done she goes to sleep whilst I lay there wondering what the fuck I've just done. This is someone who had been my best friend for years and even though I knew how bad her relationship to that point was had just caused her to make the worst thing you can do in a relationship.
After laying there for a couple hours sobering up and realising just how bad I fucked up I finally went to sleep, as much as I'd wanted to leave I was in no state to drive home. After we woke up, the reality hit her and she said it's probably best I leave as soon as possible, which I did. We talked a little that day and came to the conclusion it was probably best we don't talk or see each other for a while. I tried apologizing telling her how bad I felt that what had happened had occurred but that I no longer trusted myself or her to not have it happen it again. After which we didn't talk for almost a year.
Whilst we talk again now and hang out on the very rare occasion, I miss what I had and know I fucked up. It's never been the same since and I hate myself for it. I feel like a total POS and don't know if things will ever be the same again and I miss her (the way she was before the incident) so much. As far as I know her partner has no idea (not that much has improved in that department, he hasn't changed and is still a horrible person towards her from what she has told me since we started talking again). But I feel like horrible person and wish I could have been more forceful in saying no and stopping it from occurring in the first place.
TLDR; Best friend in a relationship asked for company when she was feeling down and we slept together and now the friendship isn't the same
SaturnDaphnis: Wait… you slept together and a year later she’s still with her current boyfriend?
I’m not going to lie, the girl sounds pretty toxic and this might be a common theme for them to do.
It’s been over year, I don’t think you’ll ever have that same connection again.
She may have actually felt taken advantage of, because you honestly did.
I’m sorry my dude, we all make mistakes and I guarantee this girl does not think about you like you do to her. Don’t show her this like some other people have advised you. You’ll look like a creep.
You’re young and you’ll find something better.
Southern_Contest334: Yeah she is. Even though he ignores her for long periods of time until it's convenient for him.
Maybe you're right that she is, but the longer I've thought about it the more vulnerable I realise she was probably feeling at the time and I should have just stayed away.
SaturnDaphnis: You’re going to be okay dude. Just move on,
Who cares what he does and doesn’t do for her.
I’ve been in an entirely same situation as you.
I will also add she shouldn’t have put you in that situation too, but it happens.
Don’t blame yourself /// don’t blame her. You’ll be good.
Southern_Contest334: This is probably the best idea honestly, thank you
SaturnDaphnis: My pleasure my dude, You take care.
| 6 | 13 | |
1661070097 | 1661099036 | t3_wtuekz | t5_2to41 | 33 | lurking_my_ass_off: TIFU by forgetting entropy exists
TIFU and it was a bad one. Not doing a throwaway because fuck it.
I've got depression, and lately it's been pretty bad. My house is about 2 levels above squalor and I'm basically just hermiting until I get a better grip on life and also I don't have central a/c, so my bedroom is the only cool room in the house. I live in the south so it's the only livable spot till autumn.
Lately, I have been being annoyed by the sheer amount of gnats that have decided to bother me while I'm reading or playing games or whatever. This happens a lot as I'm in the south and the ac vent to the window, no matter how well it's installed, will always have small gaps. I decided I'm gonna bug bomb, so I'd start cleaning out pizza boxes and misc bottles and whatnot from the bedroom because frankly, getting a lil cluttered. Please note, there is not actual food involved*, just empty bags and boxes from places that I got takeout from.
Grabbed a big trash bag and proceeded to chunk pizza box after pizza box into it. There were the occasional bags of McDonald's or raisin' cane's as well, but generally just a lot of pizza boxes.
Got a few bags filled and made a discovery that I think is gonna haunt me for a while... Under a few of my empty boxes was a plastic container. In that plastic container was a large amount of various stages of insect life. Apparently, a few weeks back at the latest, I bought a family sized nugget from a certain fast food joint that touts fresh meat. Turns out, not a fan of these nuggets, so I just set the box off to the side for taking out in a couple days when the trash runs by.
Somehow, I completely spaced on this, and left the box sitting there, and it got covered by another pizza box after another box until it was just one Jenga piece in the trash pile that is my life.
Now, I'm not saying finding the box wasn't horrible, because it was. I just had an "out of sight out of mind" moment and forgot the box existed once it was covered. The horrible thing was... There was no smell. Lots of various stages of insect life. No smell. Nothing. I'm not nose blind to it, I've left the house and come back and never discovered a mystery odor that could not be placed. I'm hoping that the lil vent holes were plugged by the boxes and that's why there wasn't an odor, but that doesn't answer how the gnats got out, so... That's bad and I hate mysteries where I sleep.
Somehow this giant pack of nuggets (of which I had partaken, meaning whatever these are is now in me or part of me) turned into what I can only imagine to be swamp things asshole and there was no decomp smell.
Now, I've cleaned and gotten the box out in a large bag and it's in the can outside, as well as a couple other bags of stuff, but the image of that box is gonna put me off eating anything for a while, and the fact it wasn't smelling awful is gonna keep me away from nuggets for a looooooong time. That shit ain't natural. For a min I thought I had covid, but nope, I can smell other stuff. This is gonna bug me for a while.
Tl;dr : bought a family pack of nugs from a fast food joint and made the horrible discovery that if you forget about them long enough, bad things happen. *I'm standing by the opinion these aren't considered food anymore, following this discovery.
bobby_McGeee: Hope you feel better!
lurking_my_ass_off: Thanks :). I'm doing my best!
| 3 | 11 | |
1661079810 | 1661091714 | t3_wtwxo9 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Inevitable_Effect_41: TIFU by kissing a girl while being in a short relationship
New to Reddit. First post. So bear with me for a little.
From the beginning. I am a Male 25 and few months ago I met a girl lets call her Jade and we clicked an vibed along together. Over the time I have started developing feelings for her. I am the shy type and have very many difficulties expressing my feelings towards a person (mainly because i have been turned down way too many times which results me just shut myself from expressing in any kind of way or form). We had many topics we agreed on or had similar interests with. And one day I was just wondering if she was looking for anything as a relationship. And we had a discussion about it and turns out she wasnt looking for anything. Maybe thats my fault for not telling her i'm interested in her but its whatever. We both went on a holiday and the whole time i was there. She was on my mind. And didn't had the courage to tell her. Being very shy as a person and not having enough courage does alot in that moment of time. Then I did the most stupidest action what a person can do. I've met this girl on holiday lets call her Anna and we had a fun time together didnt do anything serious but it clicked as well. So I decided with my dumbass to be in a relationship with Anna instead of confessing my love and feelings for Jade. Just to get over Jade and move on with Anna. I know from myself that its a dickmove. So last weekend I was at a party with Jade and a couple of friends. We had fun and games and didnt think much of it I saw Jade (she doesnt know i like her) kissing with a mutual friend. I broke down. And since we were sleeping over at the house. I offered myself to sleep on the couch. They were both like no don't worry about it whatsoever. So i was like okay you do you. After that i grabbed my bottle of whisky and started chugging. To the point i was fucked up. After a while Jade comes up sitting on my lap and asks me whats on my mind. To that point im very vulnerable and an emotional wreck. So I tell her that I was a little jealous of what i saw and following with that i was into her from the very beginning and never had the balls and courage to tell her because we were close and didn't want to lose her as a friend. Which resulted me also saying that I wanted to shut down my emotions also because it has becoming way too much for me. At the moment i was speaking that sentence. She leaned in forward and started to kiss me. Yesterday me and Jade went home together because we had the same route on the train. Right when I was about to go we said goodbye. And kissed eachother again on the lips. I know i did something wrong. I just started a relationship with Anna 1 week ago. It felt right kissing Jade because i was already into her. I know for a fact that i used Anna just entirely to get over Jade. I know from myself that whenever i break down i do stupid shit just entirely just to punish myself. So I did punish myself emotionally and mentally just because i fucked up. Im looking for some kind of communication therapy because I can't do things alone anymore. And the more I will do things on my own right now. The more I will punish myself even more. Maybe for the better and some for worse. I'm scared of myself. I am still trying to find a way of telling them both. Even though its never a right moment or a right way to speak about it. I know it will eat me alive if I dont open up sooner or later.
I don't condone cheating. But regardless of the fact that I was emotionally unstable when she was approaching me. And let my feelings take over even though i know the consequences. Its just not who i am.
TLDR; i met a girl few months ago. Started developing feelings. Went on a holiday started a relationship with a total different to get over the girl i had feelings for. And now i kissed the actual girl i like. Now in a fucked up state of being an emotional disaster. And looking for therapy in communication.
duoskimer: When in doubt, flip a coin! No but seriously you got yourself in a real situation here. Honestly it really seems like you want to be with "Jade". If I were you I would just tell Anna straight up that you have feelings for someone else and that you made a mistake and you're sorry for being an asshole. Hope things work out for you my dude!
Inevitable_Effect_41: I have to be open and honest with both parties. Honestly and the consequences are already written for the future. But thats for me to find out.
duoskimer: Then tell them both? Sounds like you already know what to do. Personally you weren't in a relationship with Jade yet so that's up to you if you want to tell her about the other chick. IMO the only person you really owe an explanation to is the one you're in a relationship with. Do what you gotta do though my dude, If your conscience won't be cleared until you tell them both well then get on it! Honesty and communication in the end are the best.
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1661090349 | 1661116526 | t3_wu09q1 | t5_2to41 | 103 | [deleted]: TIFU by choosing a sexual number for my jersey.
[deleted]
Zeitsty: You were an innocent kid. Which is a good thing not a FU. Sure it’s a sexual position but it’s also just a number. Most people are not going to look at a kid in a softball jersey and immediately go there.
I don’t think the adults in your life FU either. In the nicest way, you’re giving this way more headspace that it deserves. It’s really not a big deal.
Bike_Chain_96: >Sure it’s a sexual position but it’s also just a number.
Very much this. It's literally my favorite number because it reminds me of the Yin and Yang symbol, and keeping my life in balance. But thanks to the sex position and me being a guy, people automatically assume I like it because it's sex related
WhichWayzUp: 88 has always been my favorite number because if you flip eight on its side it's the eternity symbol also 88 because I was born on August 8th but then a couple people have pointed out to me that the number 88 has something to do with hitler. Oh well.
yourbadinfluence: Just wanted to add H is the 8th letter of the alphabet. The boneheads that think Hitler was somehow good believe 88 to be code for hiel Hitler. I don't want to promote any Nazi propaganda but it's not a bad idea to know what it means and recognize those idiots that have stickers on their cars, tattoos, etc.
WhichWayzUp: Good to know. Also we must never forget the swastika originated as a Buddhist symbol for peace. So we need to reclaim the number 88 and hopefully eventually someday the swastika as harmless innocent symbols and bring them back to their original state of innocence.
| 6 | 17.166667 | |
1661091013 | 1661174850 | t3_wu0ipv | t5_2to41 | 8 | Small_Piccolo_5895: TIFU
TIFU not really today but lately I haven't felt myself I've felt super bland and boring almost no emotion towards anyone or anything for the last 2-3 weeks I've just felt no emotion other than sometimes sad. Now where I mess up is I have a gf and she sang at a baseball game and a bunch of guys added her and she showed me that I didn't really care but a couple hours after the game she told me she added one of them back and was snapping them she told me the conversation and I believe her she told him she had a bf after him flirting with her Ik she's telling the truth but I can't help but like overthink y did she add him what was the point and it was worse because of how I've been feeling lately I've just had very low self esteem and that made me feel really confused I asked y she added him and she said she wanted to see what he had to say but it still upsets me even though I really don't care and trust her but like something inside of me won't let it go I keep thinking of it and keep getting sad. Ik I'm overthinking and I trust her she's even apologized saying it was dumb to add him and even text him she feels bad about it but should she have even added him or is it just me. Also any advice to help me stop this bad feeling about myself because I'm usually an upbeat outgoing person I just want to be myself again please help. TL;DR.
[deleted]: Agreed, sounds like you’re in a rut and there are so many resources to help. It also sounds like maybe you’re SO is noticing and craving a bit of attention or simply trying to get a reaction out of you to get you to
show her you care. Take it as a sign to better your health and talk with her. Also, be honest and upfront about how you feel. Hang in there, this too shall pass.
Small_Piccolo_5895: Thanks this means a lot I told her how I felt she feels really bad ab adding him back she apologizes but you’re right I’m thinking ab it she has noticed a change in me maybe she is craving a little more attention I told her ab how I’ve been feeling and she thought it was me just being distant she wished I told her sooner but she has offered to help me get past this and she said she’ll be with me 100% of the way it really means a lot for u to reach out with the advice and the words of encouragement thank you so much
[deleted]: This is great to hear, all too often we here bad endings or things going another way. You got this!! Remember the first step is accepting we need to make a change, ask for a helping hand. I say that first hand and it’s made all the difference.
| 4 | 2 | |
1661092494 | 1661094540 | t3_wu12mv | t5_2to41 | 923 | neweaden: TIFU by beating my meat.
I (16m) went to visit my grandparents with my parents
in my home country, I stayed at a separate house alone.
I had 10 or so friends over for the whole night they left
at 6 AM. I went to bed and have done the deed but I
was so tired that I didn't notice that I had spilled some
juice on my shirt. After I woke up I still didn't notice the
stains.
Around 2h after I woke up my dad showed up at the
door to ask if I would like to go out for a coffee. I said
the dog would be alone and that I haven't had a shower.
all 52%
Then he said "Yea look at the stains on your shirt
-hahahaha" I answered with "Yea I spilled something
last night" He: "Yea right" And then he left laughingly.
Now I'm embarrassed and don't know how to handle
the situation.
My dad is really chill and a cool dude, but its still
embarrassing for me.
TL:DR I (16m) was beating my meat and didn't notice that I left some stains on my shirt. My dad came and joked about how dirty my shirt is the next morning.
EDIT: So I went to my grandparents today to pick some of my stuff up. Then my grandpa said is it ok for him to be alone in that house.
My MOM'S answer to that was
"Dont worry, he loves being alone"
That followed with a laugh from my mom and dad
EDIT TL:DR, You were right, he told my mom!
GoinBlind74: I would probably run away from home at this point.
neweaden: IDK what to do mate, I haven't seen him after that but I will see him later.
I hope it wont be that awkward 😅
GoinBlind74: Lol you'll be fine. Not a big deal at all.
neweaden: Yea I mean we are like bros but still.
I'm just so happy that it wasn't my mom who came this morning.
MsBuzzkillington83: Or a grandparent which is where I was sure it was going to go, lol
Enjoy the rest of the trip tho!
neweaden: Hahaha
Thanks I'll try
| 7 | 131.857143 | |
1661091343 | 1661093688 | t3_wu0n58 | t5_2to41 | 39 | AJMcAARON: TIFU by wishing on a magic meteorite
They say to wish upon a shooting star, but what about a fallen star?
In fifth grade I had a huge crush on a girl in my class named Elizabeth, but one day I found out she was “going out” with my best friend Kyle! My eleven year-old heart was broken.
Well, it just so happened that an author was stopping to speak at our school to promote her new book: a book about a magic meteorite that had crashed into her back yard. She said that anyone in her hometown who placed their hand on the rock, and made a wish, saw that their wish soon came true. Every single one of them, she said. All of us young ones were full of excitement, and my mind began to race.
They lined all of us up single-file to make our own wishes on the way out of the gymnasium. I could have wished for anything: money, fame, pizza. But no, I placed my hand upon the dark onyx and thought, *I wish Elizabeth would break up with Kyle and go out with me.*
On the way back to class Kyle told me that he was leaving the next day to go on an extended weekend vacation with his family. *What are the chances,* I thought.
The day Kyle left, Elizabeth and I were sitting next to each other in the auditorium reading our lines for The King and I (I was the prince and Elizabeth was the narrator) when she confessed that she had feelings for me! We were now a “couple”.
I now had everything I wanted, but it came at a cost. Over the next few days I began to wrestle with my mind. *How could you do that to Kyle,* I thought. But then the other half of me responded: *Kyle? He’s only a side character in the play. I’m the prince!* I also began to marvel at the true power that this magic rock possessed. *Does Elizabeth genuinely have feelings for me, or did the meteorite make her have feelings for me?*
The day Kyle got back he saw that Elizabeth sat next to me at lunch instead of him, it was over.
He confronted me, we hashed it out, and we are still good friends to this day, but I still feel bad for these uncharacteristic actions from my eleven year-old self. I think the power of the magic meteorite corrupted my mind…
TL;DR: I used the cosmic powers of the universe to justify being a bad friend.
Edit: [Here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meteor!) is a link to the book: Meteor! by Patricia Polacco
ZenoxDemin: Where is that magic meteorite that clearly works? I might need to go touch it.
AJMcAARON: Wow I actually found the book: [Meteor!](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meteor!)
Hope you find it someday!
| 3 | 13 | |
1661095322 | 1661160543 | t3_wu255y | t5_2to41 | 18,155 | anonsciteacher: TIFU by going to a dodgy massage shop
So this happened about an hour go.
Excuse spelling/ formatting - dyslexic and on mobile
Last night I was in bed and my back was feeling pretty tight, so I jump on google to find a place that does a good Thai massage. I find a place and book the appointment for the next day, this is where I encounter the first red flag ... there's not really a booking system, you fill your details in and just get a generic thank you for booking message.
So today rolles around I haven't had anything other than the first generic email but think nothing off it and make my way. I get to the place and get my next red flag ... you pay by bank transfer, now this one throws me for a sec but I have had a rough day and just want to get on with this a loosen up my back, so I pay and get directed into one of the rooms. The women then tells me in the little English she knows to take my top off and leaves the room, so I take my top off and lay down, bottom half fully dress.
This is where I get the third and final red flag, she comes back in and stright away patts my ass and tells me these need to come off. Next thing I know she had taken my tracksuit bottoms off .. ok.... ow no now the underwear. So there is me unexpectedly naked face down on the table thinking wtf situation have you gotten into now.
She begins to massage me while I am there thinking wtf wtf wtf. I'm a gay man so I am not interested in anymore then a massage and am just waiting hoping its not that kind of place despite all the red flags I have ignored so far. Then it happens about 30 min in I'm now on my back keeping my eyes locked on the ceiling when all I hear is "you want sucky?" I just give a very shy no with a head shake wanting to sink into the ground when she asks again "so no sucky?" "No thank you" my awkward gay ass replies and she moves on.
So the rest of that massage was even more awkward.
Tbh she did give a good massage but no sucky for me thanks
TL;DR: gay man ignored red flags when booking a massage ends up with women offering "sucky"
P.s - I am pro sex work and think there is nothing wotng with it was just not expecting that kind of service
TwoHeadedBoyTwo: This might be TMI but honestly I’ve visited those kind of massage parlors and I’d say a solid 60-70% of the girls give a massage on par with what you get at “regular” ones
Probably_Pooping_101: Is it more or less expensive though?
Vitalis597: Depends.
I've been to a spa in Vietnam...
Great sauna. Wet and dry, great massage... All paid for up front.
Then came the "Happy ending?" question after the massage. For an extra 50k Dong. (actually cheaper than the spa treatment.)
And yes, that is the name of Vietnams currency.
Meta2048: So a quick currency check says 50k dong is $2.14
How much was the massage?
Vitalis597: 150k for the spa and massage.
For reference, I made just shy of 30mil a month, after taxes...
A cup of coffee from any given coffee shop is 20k...
EDIT: Gave myself a MASSIVE paycut...
Shalashaskaska: So what you’re telling me is that for like less than 10 dollars you got a full massage and a blowjob? I’m fucking moving
DerHafensinger: He only made a little less than a 100 dollars a month though
Vitalis597: A grand....
But yes.
DerHafensinger: I dont know if it was a typo then because 3m dong is roughly 130 dollars
Vitalis597: I... Missed a Zero...
Big brain time...
30M VND a month.
| 11 | 1,650.454545 | |
1661101825 | 1661121344 | t3_wu4or8 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Badgamesorry: TIFU by trying to run a gaming business
I've invested several thousand dollars into the game and this business and I have very little to show for it. I've gotten expensive artists, I've tested the game out extensively, I've made pretty advertisements, I've really done all that I can think to do (except buying some 10,000 commercial and trying to put it on TV or YouTube). I was upset at first, but not I just feel somewhat apathetic about my business and my game. I'm just starting to not care anymore. I was going to make some really dramatic post on my social media about how I'm quitting the business and complaining but I think I'll just post here.
Just so you know, my competitors have made similar games that have exceeded hundreds of thousands of dollars in funding. I don't know what they're doing that makes their games so much better than mine. All I can think is that they already had some huge following of people and a lot of upfront money to invest in advertisements. I really don't know. All I know is this: every single time I've posted about my game on some forum I've gotten either ignored, criticized, or downvoted.
It's crazy. I've even changed the price of my game to the point where I'm not even making any profit from it anymore and people still refuse to buy the game or interact with me. Like how do they even know the game is bad when they won't even give it a chance? Anyways, I'm probably going to shut down this game and this business in a few weeks. I don't really see things improving for the better. I have friends that will spend at least $500 a week on new games, but they refuse to buy mine and even try it. Great friends.
Tl;dr I should have never made a game or started a business
PloppyTheSpaceship: I sometimes think about getting into the games industry. I nearly did back in the GBA days (developed a GBA and DS game freelance, the publisher loved it but couldn't get the licence for the IP, also had some very successful interviews which almost became job offers). Decided to stop pursuing it as a job when I found out about how employees are treated in the industry (hint - badly).
Since then - yeah, I've thought about making some indie games. Even made a few prototypes. But I know I wouldn't have a chance, the market is way too saturated and has a load of big players who can just throw money at their games to ensure nothing else succeeds. For an indie game to succeed it's rare - consider the amount there must be out there compared to how many you actually know about.
Plus, I really really hate the idea of ads during games and trying to make people buy stuff. I hardly ever game on my phone, but my eldest son occasionally does and I've seen them - how pervasive the ads can be, trying to fool you into downloading it, holding bits of the game hostage behind a paywall. I find it disgusting (that and having to pay to make any real progress). If I were to develop anything, it would be just a single game you bought on consoles and PC, but having the time and motivation just ain't gonna happen.
individualizada: > I nearly did back in the GBA days (developed a GBA and DS game freelance, the publisher loved it but couldn't get the licence for the IP, also had some very successful interviews which almost became job offers)
May I ask what IP? Sounds like something r/GamePreservationists would be interested in. Especially if you still had the source code/binaries though if it's a game based on an IP I imagine you might be uncomfortable sharing it. You'd be surprised about how many people want stuff like this though.
PloppyTheSpaceship: I guess so, though it'd take some digging to get the rom so I'm not doing that anytime soon (if ever). It was the board game Rush Hour.
individualizada: Oh wow, that's really cool. Even if you're not able to/not interested in digging up the ROM, you should post about that somewhere, I imagine a lot of people would be interested just knowing that the game existed.
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1661102444 | 1661112750 | t3_wu4xmi | t5_2to41 | 124 | Riotzact: TIFU by swallowing 2 pieces of winter fresh gum while it still had its flavor.
So this morning I get on the royal throne to do my business as usual. As I relieve myself I notice a burning sensation. Nothing too extreme, but certainly enough to make itself known.
So I starting thinking back, I had pizza with hot sauce on it for breakfast, but that was way too recently for it to have traveled the whole (hole?) way through me. So I thought back to last night, when I had that very same pizza but with NO hot sauce. Lunch yesterday? Orange chicken from Panda Express, nothing spicy.
Then it dawned on me. Late last night I noticed we had some Extra brand winter fresh gum, so I popped 2 pieces of it in. Early on in the chewing of it, I was sort of repositioning it in my mouth and somehow inadvertently swallowed it.
As I’m thinking it through, it’s still not making sense, I’ve swallowed gum on a small handful of occasions before and this never happened. But then I thought that every other time I did, the gum was probably way out of flavor by the point I swallowed it.
So at this point there is nothing left to do but to put on my Sherlock hat and lab coat and do some good old fashioned crime scene investigation. I stand up, turn around, and lo and behold, there she is. Lodged in there like a buildup of sap in a tree trunk. Case closed.
I showered right afterwards, but I’m in the passenger seat of the car writing this right now and I can still feel it just a tiny bit. That minty fresh feeling, but on the wrong end.
TLDR: I swallowed 2 pieces of winter fresh gum last night while it still had its flavor and this morning it made it burn when I pooped.
whoknowsme2001: Hot sauce eaters are not impressed.
Riotzact: Yeah, I am weak. I can handle a decent amount of spice, but I always feel it more on the back end. Literally.
whoknowsme2001: Us Mexicans just live with the discomfort.
ItsHowWellYouMowFast: That's why y'all aren't called Mexicants
whoknowsme2001: Lol explain please.
jared743: Mexi-can (can do) vs Mexi-Can't (cannot do)
So they are saying that mexicans will power through and get it done regardless
whoknowsme2001: Ahhhhhh I didn’t see the T, my mistake for being dumb. Mexi-cans make mistakes sometimes.
| 8 | 15.5 | |
1661105213 | 1661107066 | t3_wu61f4 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by not resetting my 12 year old phone to not receive my wife’s texts
[deleted]
Rasen_God: No argument is worth spending days, especially when it's with your partner. You're supposed to be there for each other, not at each other.
I hope you two can resolve whatever it is that's been a bother, and become good role models for your children.
Impossible_Job_9023: Well normally I’d agree if I wasn’t already days into it.
jellyworms: As someone who lets arguments go on for way too long, it's not worth it. Figure out how to fix your original problem, but don't cause new ones for yourself. It might be embarrassing but have a conversation where you both agree to get over your fight and talk out your feelings instead of dragging it out and now accidentally dragging your kid into it.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1661083256 | 1663170253 | t3_wtxxnz | t5_2to41 | 14 | ReenTheFox: TIFU by having a fictional group's logo as a sticker on my binder
Huff sorry for the long title.
Obligatory "not today", this happened a few years ago actually but from time to time I'm still wondering how I thought this was a good idea. I apologize in advance for weird grammar, english is not my first language.
Anyways.
A few years ago, when I was around 16\~ish, I was a huge Marvel fan. I wrote fanfiction, drew fanart, played RPs with others online etc. watched every movie as soon as they came out. By the time I started to get into it, several movies had already been out, so obviously I had to watch those first.
At the same time, I developed some obsession with stickers. I had them everywhere: On my binder, my notebooks, even my table. Some time before I started watching the movies, a friend of mine got me one of those random sticker packs for 5€ with 100 or so stickers in it, and I absolutely loved it. In the pack, was one sticker that I instantly fell in love with. Black background, red skull in the middle and red tentacles surrounding it. If you know Marvel, you might actually know where this is going.
So, I decided to put this sticker riiiight on the center of my binder...for german classes.
And instantly got a few weirded out looks throughout the next few days in class. Marvel was all the talk at that time, so quite a few people possibly recognized that logo. But I didn't. Until a month or so later, when I actually started watching the Marvel movies and realized, that this sticker, my favorite sticker, is the logo of "Hydra" (basically the big, bad, radical n\*zi orginasation in those movies)
Look. I know it's a fictional group and that, in retrospect, it's a bit stupid and nothing all too bad.
But I was 16, full of anxiety, and the moment I realized that, I ripped the sticker off of my binder. I instantly got scared and worried if people in my school thought I identify with Hydra etc.
I instantly told my best friend, but she just laughed. The main reason why I got so scared was, that just this school year people had stopped bullying me, mainly because all of the "black sheep" of the class didn't make it to that year, dropped out, switched school etc.
But I was absolutely filled with fear, scared that it would start all over again.
In all honesty. I'm still not sure if the weird looks were because of that sticker in particular or if it was just...the god awful amount of sticker I had on my stuff in general that weirded people out. To soothe myself I often tell myself that the latter is the reason.
Felt like I had to share this though, it is kind of funny in my opinion.
​
TL:DR : Put a sticker of Marvel's fictional organization "HYDRA" on my binder and got some weird looks for it
kletskopke: It is kinda funny! And mayyybe the weird looks were actually normal looks and people not thinking anything of it and it was your anxiety telling you that they must have thought you were identifying with Hydra. In my experience… teenagers generally don’t think that deep. (On the other hand they are quick to judge someone as ‘weird’ for whatever reason).
ReenTheFox: Man in all honesty, I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case. I was incredibly anxious and scared. My class bullied me, yeah. But they also showed from time to time that they simply bully me because i'm an easy target - not because I did anything wrong for real lmao
Teenagers are scary
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1661108645 | 1661111835 | t3_wu7e69 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by using sign language and someone understood me
[deleted]
BigWilly97: I'm not really sure that's racist in and of itself. I mean, black people do tend to have larger noses and it's not racist to acknowledge that any more than its racist to acknowledge they have black skin. If it was meant as an insult then yes racist all day. If it was just curiosity, not racist
Void010101: I have nothing against people color skin and I do fact have black friends. Like I said we were bored and I tend to brought up weird random conversations. It happened
givememoreskin: Ah yes, the classic, "I'm not racist, I have many black friends!"
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1661107438 | 1661146679 | t3_wu6wy2 | t5_2to41 | -2 | harrington0019: TIFU by smoking on my lunch break.
This actually happened last week.
I work a 12 to 9 shift at a call center. It is stressful work and one of the ways I cope is by having a cigar on breaks.
I woke up late and didn't have time to use the bathroom, shower, eat, or etc. I had a gas station chicken wrap and a huge diet coke.
I have three 15 minute breaks and one 45 minute lunch break.
The day had been extra stressful, so I smoked on ever fifteen minute break.
I eat some extra spicy noodles and two diet pepsis for lunch.
End of day I get home and smoke in the car while trying to relax with a podcast.
Nature calls, but instead of going inside I decide to piss in the tall grass. While I pee I feel a fart coming through and let 'er rip.
Diet sweetners are laxatives. Gas station food is questionable. Spicy foods make for a strong BM.
Worse, including the time I spent sleeping, I hadn't pooped in 17 hours
I feel a buck shot of shit splatter my short.
I am 32 years old and have broken my streak of 26 years having not shit myself.
I snuck into the house, tossed my soiled shorts in the bathtub and then used the toilet while the showerhead sprayed the mess.
TL; DR I smoked on every break instead of using the bathroom, ate food that filled the gas tank to the brim, and then shit myself in the backyard.
givememoreskin: Can I ask what is stressful about working at a call center?
harrington0019: I don't feel like explaining everything. If you go onling you can find a lot of horror stories of the verbal abuse call center reps endure
givememoreskin: So, the people that you are bothering with constant and endless phone calls sometimes say mean things?
Ease-Remote: as someone who works at a call center, its people like you who lack common sense who actually bother us, luckily i no longer take calls
givememoreskin: I literally asked what was stressful, they gave a vague answer. And I dont think knowing the difference between a call center (a room full of people talking on phones) and telemarketers (a room full of people talking on phones) is "common sense". I'm sorry for offending you by confusing your career with another that is given flow charts on handling conversations with people over the phone. You're obviously a completely different tier of society.
harrington0019: [I don't owe you a long explaination. ](https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=why+is+it+stressful+to+work+in+a+call+center%3F+)
And yeah, the call environment is real similiar for, but you weren't confusing the two, you ignored that call center could mean anything other than 'telemarketer' and then decided I must be the actual aggressor. Check yourself.
givememoreskin: Bro, your commenting on a post you made about your job answering phone calls for 7.5 hours a day is somehow so stressful you shit your pants. Check yourself.
harrington0019: I don't think you undersrand what this post is actual about. If anything, it is about time management.
givememoreskin: Regardless if you think it's about time management, its about diet.
harrington0019: Jesus, you are just trying to redirect the conversation. You are getting down voted becaus e you made an assumption, made a passive aggressive remark, and then played it off as though you are confused because the environment is similiar even though i wasn't describing and environment, I was naming my work place.
givememoreskin: You are downvoting me...and maybe a few other people that give a shir enough to read this garbage. Just because the extremely small percentage of people who have read our exchange are sliding with you, doesnt make me wrong. They would literally have to give a shit about people who work in call centers. Guess what, that's people who work in call centers.
Let we warn you. Do not use reddit to validate your opinions. This is a website with a limited number of participants. Most subs have restrictions that dont allow expressing opinions that disagree with the overall theme.
I'm not sure why you think in trying to play off my assumption that a call center is telemarketers. I'm not embarrassed, you answer phone calls for a living...I dont give a fuck what you think. Yiu dont know actual stress. Enjoy your life, pants shitter.
harrington0019: K
givememoreskin: Yea
| 14 | -0.142857 | |
1661108782 | 1661109258 | t3_wu7g9v | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally revealed my girlfriend's mom's infidelity
[deleted]
ThinkCow83: Info: were you really dating a boy called Emily? 🤔
Edit - why do do insist on calling your GIRLFRIEND by he, him, his?
woahwoahwoah28: A boy named Emily who is his girlfriend… sus.
ThinkCow83: It's total BS - op needs to do better!
| 4 | 2 | |
1661108184 | 1661121883 | t3_wu77cq | t5_2to41 | 370 | Ermmahhhgerrrd: TIFU by forgetting the chicken
Hey this isn't exciting but it happened today, so points for that? On phone, apologies for formatting errors, yada yada. It's short so no tldr.
I've got the virus. Somehow my wife has managed to avoid getting it, and has only had a few symptoms but she feels ok today. I've been trying to stay out of her way bc obvious reasons, but she sent me a text this morning that if I order the ingredients for delivery, she'd make her famous chicken doodle soup for me. She even wrote the ingredients on the fridge for me and I took a pic. Celery, carrots, an onion, and whole uncooked chicken.
I forgot to get a chicken. For the home-made chicken doodle soup 🤦♀️
2nd instacart order of the day just got dropped off. This soup has cost me about $86 so far.
[Almost 6 and it's almost ready](https://imgur.com/a/2F1F7co) and I'm officially hangry.
Edit 2 it was amazing, as always. She made the doodles a smaller size than normal for me bc my throat is so sore. I could drink the broth alone. Y'all missed out, fam.
Edit 3 I found out by accident I **did** get a chicken the first order. A fully cooked rotisserie chicken. Still a FU tho.
Luuke_Nukem: U mean noodle not doodle?
Ermmahhhgerrrd: They're homemade egg noodles that are in between noodles and dumplings. That's why it's so good💜
Luuke_Nukem: Ravioli ?
Ermmahhhgerrrd: Sorta, ravioli is stuffed tho. They're basically dumplings, just smaller. The soup itself is chicken broth, veggies and the doodles . She tears the chicken off the bone once it's finished, then makes a pile of flour with a hole in the middle and an egg or 2 and makes them. Then she drops them into the soup. It's quite a process, but it really does help you heal from all sorts of things.
Preachinit: We call that chicken and dumplings.
RegularOwlBear: Same, I was waiting for the noodle part.
| 7 | 52.857143 | |
1661115237 | 1661117499 | t3_wu8w2u | t5_2to41 | 5 | buttered_cat: You can't get a contact high from it, and pretty much all those cops that pass out after "touching it" (its not absorbed through the skin...) are just having panic attacks.
The propaganda makes fent out to be a lot more lethal than it actually is.
Unless you are smoking, slamming, or snorting it yourself, being near it won't hurt you.
ThisSorrowfulLife: The fact that this homeless piece of shit had it in his car AT ALL is fucking atrocious. The audacity you have to say the dangers of fent is "propaganda" is absolutely fucking disgusting. You should be ashamed.
buttered_cat: lol, calm yourself sunshine.
The whole "letting random homeless addicts you just met crash in your house" is a separate issue *entirely* to "the homeless drug addicts, to the surprise of absolutely nobody, used drugs".
There is a LOT of bad info out there about fentanyl that leads to people panicking about the wrong shit. If anyone, its them, pointlessly fearmongering about non-extant risks (such as secondary exposure) that should be ashamed.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1661114772 | 1661122995 | t3_wu9tl1 | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by allowing my cousin to have s*x at my place
[removed]
voures: Just curious, why are you censoring the word "sex?"
Stupidclassmates1234: I don't want it to get banned. Happened before
Embarrassed-Bus-8591: You should get banned for not putting a TL;DR
Stupidclassmates1234: Look at the end
Embarrassed-Bus-8591: Exactly my point.
| 6 | 7.666667 | |
1661111164 | 1661247873 | t3_wu8dst | t5_2to41 | 21 | Debleckpenta: TIFU by asking a customer what was wrong with her order
So I work at a call center and mostly handle complaints, today a customer called claiming there was something wrong with her food. She said it tasted bad and that she didn't like it. I asked her to clarify exactly what was wrong with it - i.e. incorrect items, too much sauce, overcooked, raw,etc, and instantly regretted it. We're required to provide as much detail as we can whenever any customer provides feedback about an order or experience they had, but in all honesty I could've just left it as " customer didn't like the food, it tasted bad" so I guess that's what I get for slightly probing.
However...this lady went off on an unrelated tangent and said some of the most outrageous and bigoted shit I've ever heard working here. She said it tasted like Indian food and that she doesn't like Indian food and that it makes her sick. Ok, fair enough, the only issue is that we don't have any Indian food products, but if she was claiming it made her sick I had to take it seriously, so I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt up until this point.
It was like she went out of her way to be as racist and uncouth as possible. She ranted for 10 minutes about how India is a garbage country and how Indians are garbage people despite likely being of Indian descent herself judging by her accent and name. She said she's Canadian and can't eat this "disgusting garbage food" . She said when she ordered last time she was so happy because the delivery driver was Canadian, but this time, when she noticed he was Indian she was very upset and "grossed out".
She said they were unhygienic and unsanitary and that she didn't want them handling her food. She demanded I call the store and tell them not to hire Indians, and that she didn't want to be serviced by "loser Indians with bad hygiene and no ambition". She's a dietician and nutritionist and knows what she's talking about apparently. I explained to her that I would forward her feedback to the store but that a refund was unlikely, we cannot refund a purchase purely on the basis of the customer being unhappy about the driver and or cook's supposed ethnicity. It took me about 10 minutes to explain this to her and she wouldn't relent, demanding they come to her house right now and pick up the food.
Thankfully I was finally able to get her off the phone, and to my utter shock and astonishment, the store did not *refund* her. The manager emailed me a few hours later and said that she also tried to break the driver's debit machine and is frequently racist when they deliver to her.
What the fuck.
​
tldr: customer complains about her food, i ask her whats wrong with it, she goes on a huge racist rant.
gifispronouncedgif: >She ranted for 10 minutes about how India is a garbage country and how Indians are garbage people despite likely being of Indian descent herself judging by her accent and name
Could be Pakistani (fucking hate indians, and reverse is true) or Sri Lankan (I;m from there, and many Tamil ppl fled to canada during the civil war, and tamils in SL dont like Indian tamils that much for...reasons). Maybe its an Indian in denial. South Asians are something else, we'd kill to be white.
Debleckpenta: Nah she told me she was Indian - she has a very common North indian name as well( I don't want to get into specifics in case anyone I know comes across this though). This didn't feel like Indo-Pakistani rivalry, it felt like genuine internalized hatred.
gifispronouncedgif: Totally understandable ive met many Sri Lankans with such hatred for their own culture.
Debleckpenta: I haven't had the pleasure of meeting many Sri Lankans, but that is a shame to hear. I find South Asian culture, history and cuisine to be very vibrant and appealing and would love to visit the subcontinent at some point.
gifispronouncedgif: Yeah I really don't know whats up with that, maybe we've been brainwashed by our colonizers. I mean look at South Asia and the struggle for women and even men to try to become fair. Fairness = beauty. Indian companies are making big bucks exporting these throughout south asia.
| 6 | 3.5 | |
1661120852 | 1661138264 | t3_wuc86p | t5_2to41 | 796 | Caledric: TIFU by beating my meat
Just happened about an hour or so ago. I was in the kitchen getting ready to cook dinner and decided to make some pork chops. Usually when I make pork chops I tenderize the meat a bit, so I placed the pork chops on the cutting board, sprinkled them with some seasoning then got out the tenderizer. During the process of tenderizing I got a little playful and over zealous and started taking large swings pretending I was fighting a mob in a video game... Well I missed the meat and landed the meat tenderizer on my hand instead of the meat.
My meat tenderizer is the kind with the pokey needles... Now I'm sure some of you can see where this is going... That's right I fucking stabbed my hand and there was blood everywhere. The pork chops were ruined, and my hand hurts too much to cook something new.
I am medically retired due to a back injury so my health insurance is absolute crap since I live in the US. So I keep a decent first aid kit here at home, and remembering my combat lifesaver training from the marines, I threw some gauze pads on it... wrapped the bitch up like a mummy and now I'm sitting here slow typing this post with a gauze mitten on my left hand.
TL;DR: Was tenderizing meat for dinner and stabbed myself with the tenderizer.
sethzilla-yo: Following for the next post where you say you have some weird hand infection from the raw meat that was on the tenderizer....
Caledric: I washed the wound, and used iodine to disinfect it as per my training. I think I'll be ok.
DarkStar851: Not much else you really can do for that kind of injury, if you'd gone to the doctor they would've done the same thing and charged you $300 for the bottle of iodine.
ihrtbeer: And $550 for the visit
BreDenny: Plus $300 for breathing their hospital air
ElHeim: And probably $25 on top of that for giving them the stink eye knowing how much they were going to charge you.
| 7 | 113.714286 | |
1661123445 | 1661189409 | t3_wud7dq | t5_2to41 | 75 | Ok-Barracuda-1223: TIFU by forgetting to close a window for over a month
Background: My bf (28M) and I (24F) live in an apartment where the top window in our kitchen always slides down when we open the bottom window. Since I have an extreme dislike for insects, I always check to make sure the top window hasn't slid down yet and adjust it when it does. Due to this issue, we never have this window opened and use the other windows in our kitchen instead.
Fast forward to today, I was making some pizza dough and my bf comes into the kitchen and we start chatting. After awhile of us standing there he notices that there's a wasp (about an inch long) by the window and said he'll take care of it really quickly. While we were looking at it I saw that right next to it was a weird grey muck of dirt that settled in the window and then I realized this wasp created a nest within the crack of the window...
Fortunately my bf happened to have wasp nest spray in his work car so he goes downstairs to grab it. While he's gone I remembered that I opened this window over a month ago due to intense heat wave we were having and kept it opened ever since. I never noticed because I always have the binds closed for this window but I just so happened to want extra sunlight in the kitchen this afternoon.
Bf comes back upstairs to spray the nest and the wasp is dead. While using that spray, a chip of the wasp nest comes out and a giant dead spider flies right out. I freak out and run into the bedroom. Bf said he'll take care of it but out of morbid fascination, I decided to help and I should have stayed out of it.
There were hundreds of dead spiders of various sizes, a few wasps and a bunch of dirt within that nest. After that one peak i went back to the bedroom and didnt come back out until my bf said he got rid of all of it. My skin is crawling as I'm writing this. I will never open that window again after this incident.
TL;DR: I forgot to check if a window was closed for over a month and a wasp made a nest inside my apartment.
ThatGirlWithTheWalk: There's a species of non-stinging lone wolf wasp that builds a dirt house like that. They eat spiders and target black widows in particular.
That was your last line of defense between you and all the black widows trying to get in and feast upon your sweet, sweet flesh....
RandoCalrissian11: Written with humor, but this is basically true. What you described is a harmless dirt dauber and they were killing all the insects for you.
| 3 | 25 | |
1661124212 | 1661124638 | t3_wudhii | t5_2to41 | 8 | WhosMocho: TIFU by making the donut media guy leave my store
Today I was at work at a gas station and we are very rural and don’t have much going on around where I live so it’s pretty common for senators, celebrities, rich assholes to come get gas and get on there way without being recognized or really noticed while they are vacationing.
So here I was; standing next to my coworker at the cash register, and she’s waiting on this girl that’s prepaying gas, and snacks, whatever they are buying. Anyways, I recognized his face while he was standing down the first aisle on the phone. What really gave it away was the famous “Donut” yellow emblem on his hat.
So it’s pretty common that us cashiers chat to each other here and there while waiting on people. So I turn to my co-worker and say “Hey, that guy over there is the donut media guy from YouTube.” Apparently, the girl she was waiting on was his girlfriend or sister, I don’t know. But she confirms that it is him. “Uhh yeah, that’s him.”
The customer finishes the transaction, goes over to him says some stuff quietly and they immediately leave. He sits in his car at our gas pump for the next 15 minutes talking on the phone.
I can’t help but realize that I probably came off as a nutty fan ready to oust him to the rest of the customers that might recognize him.
So donut man, if you see this, I’m sorry for potentially ruining your gas station experience with my big mouth. But then again, don’t wear donut clothes if you don’t want to be recognized.
Edit: He was the main host James Pumphrey
TL;DR I said out loud to my coworker who was waiting on his girlfriend that I recognized him. Potentially ruining his experience at the gas station I work at and I think I made him leave to minimize his exposure to people.
Horti_boi: Which one?
WhosMocho: James
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1661126014 | 1661128654 | t3_wue54x | t5_2to41 | 15 | cutieville: TIFU by fingering a girl
This girl and I had a fun filled day out on the town. Afterwards we got a hotel. Things started getting hot and heavy and my fingers ended up in her pants. One thing led to another and I started fingering her. She was having a grand old time showing the usual signs that I was doing a decent job. A good portion of the way through my nails must have given her a bit of a cut and she said ouch.... and passed out cold. I'm sitting her wondering what the fuck just happened. I call her name and start panicingly shaking her. She's not responsive and I slap her face. As soon as I did this she starts having a seizure. Now I'm freaking the out. I jump out of bed and start to call an ambulance. I'm about to start the call and when she stops and starts making grunting noises. She's giving me this wtf just happened look and I tell her what happened. At first she tells me she doesn't believe me but then said that she has a history of having seizures when she gets hurt or scared. She said that when she has a seizure it's best to let it take its course unless it goes on for a while. I just sat there in that "thank god I didn't finger a girl to death" state. Needless to say our sexy time ended right there.
TLDR: I fingered a girl into a seizure.
sup3rn1k: You hit her in the face and the sudden trauma caused the seizure.
Not your “skills”
chocotacosmatter: No, OP fingering her and cutting her with a nail or something caused the seizure apparently.
| 3 | 5 | |
1661126056 | 1661210966 | t3_wue5pl | t5_2to41 | 16 | SquishySpark: TIFU by fixing tacos with extra protein
I had 2 lbs of ground beef that I bought yesterday to make tacos with for the family. So this evening I browned it nicely, added a few tablespoons from the Costco sized bottle of taco seasoning that had probably been in the pantry for a while, then added onions and bell peppers because yum.
It’s browning nicely in the skillet, so I go to put the taco seasoning away and accidentally knock it off the counter where it hits the floor and spills a little. I get down to wipe it up and notice a couple of bugs crawling and thought it must have been our typical “bugs come in the house because it’s hot as Satan’s balls outside” scenario.
Then my stomach did a somersault when I realized I should check the taco seasoning. Sure enough, it’s *crawling* with spice bugs.
2 freaking pounds of ground beef. I packaged the now-cooked food up and tossed them in the trash, and we went to Whataburger.
My next chore is to clean out the pantry. FML.
TL;DR: Cooked up 2 lbs of ground beef for tacos, and added the seasoning before realizing it had been infested with spice bugs.
Gadgetownsme: Do you mean weevils?
SquishySpark: Probably called different things in different regions. They like to live in the spicier spices like paprika and cayenne.
Gadgetownsme: Thanks! I was just curious. I like to learn about different places.
| 4 | 4 | |
1661126576 | 1661127604 | t3_wuecsb | t5_2to41 | -1 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my wife a new cat
[deleted]
tankavenger: Go get that poor baby back, and name it something close to Jay, she had cats so far. She is projecting on to you for some reason. Name it shay and give that poor baby kitty a home. You wanted to make her feel better and something else deeper is the root here.
PersonalGrowthOk: This is, unfortunately, another plausible explanation. But seriously, just apologize. State your genuine intentions, and how you should've done it differently, and delete this, after you get the insight youre lookiny for, incase she is on reddit.
| 3 | -0.333333 | |
1661126941 | 1661139380 | t3_wuehnp | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU By Inviting My Fiance's Grandma To Our Wedding
[deleted]
respectfulpanda: You didn't fuck up, but you didn't win points either. When it comes to invitations to the wedding on your partner's side, let them deal with the list.
Otherwise, May happens.
thatsoundthough: Also, knowing "Liz has a lot of family drama" should have highlighted potential complications inviting family as a surprise.
respectfulpanda: Yep.
| 4 | 9.25 | |
1661128094 | 1661180433 | t3_wuewz4 | t5_2to41 | 4,470 | brandonallyn: TIFU… I asked my wife if she remembered that time I did something romantic for her… but it wasn’t her.
Ugh, I’m an idiot… Today, I asked my wife if she remembered the time I set up a special movie night with her a long time ago. I was reminiscing about how romantic I was way back when. She didn’t quite remember what I was talking about… So I gave her hints…
“It was a slice of life, romantic movie.”
“It was a series of three movies, we watched them all.”
“At a Community Center, I set up the chairs and the PA system and projection screen.” (the movie was “Before Sunrise” with Ethan Hawke).
She said, “Nope, that was with somebody else!” and then started crying because she thought I was thinking of somebody else. I’m in the dog house! DOH! 🙈
Question for the Reddit community:
Should she be happy that I don’t remember who I was with and I totally thought it was her?
OR
Should she be pissed off at me because I totally got the memory wrong…?
Feedback please.
TL:DR I had a romantic memory and told my wife about it. It wasn’t her.
supermariobruhh: You were reminiscing on romantic things you “used” to do? Why did you stop? That’s what the wording seems to imply. And then you remember something that happened with someone else? She’s justifiably upset, but the good news is you can fix it going forward. Take the L. Have a romantic date planned for her as an apology and figure out a way to do that more often.
brandonallyn: Yea, that didn’t come out quite right. I’m still romantic, and I love her to pieces. Took my love out for a special night tonight - just messed up the memory of that specific memory.
cmori3: You didn't mean to make her feel bad. You had a romantic memory, and you remember her in it because you could no longer conceptualize having those feelings for anyone else.
S4m_S3pi01: You have a Saul Goodman level of spin.
sandwich-guru: I swear, now that I’ve finally started to watch it, all I see are Better Call Saul references everywhere on Reddit
GizmoSoze: It’s not you. I still haven’t seen it and they’re non stop lately.
sandwich-guru: Holy shit right? I thought it was just a weird coincidence lol
NoTrollGaming: i actually remember someone on here mentioning some theory about that and I've noticed it happened with a lot of shows I watched. i just start seeing so many references after finishing
disgustangshet: im watching right now 😳
| 10 | 447 | |
1661129805 | 1661156976 | t3_wufiyx | t5_2to41 | 6 | MsGoogleEyes: tifu by trying jenkem to ease the pain
[removed]
givememoreskin: "My life sucks and I dont know why" you tried to get high off your own piss and shit, moron. I assume you probably make no effort to improve your life as well but dont understand why your not a millionaire with people begging to have sex with you.
MsGoogleEyes: oh. i know exactly why it sucks (im 5’4).
and trust me i do not have money problems at all. my problem is that im invisible to society.
givememoreskin: I'm pretty sure society walks all over you because you're a pathetic crybaby, not your height. But if you want to blame all your problems on your height good for you. Enjoy eating your own shit. Which by the way, is something only a complete mornin would do...and your mental capability has nothing to do with your height. Dumbass
MsGoogleEyes: why u so aggressive?
givememoreskin: You gonna cry? Go smell some shit, quitter.
MsGoogleEyes: no fr what did i do to u?
givememoreskin: I'm having an exchange with a person who, if thier "shitty" plan worked, would be dead right now. Now you want to matter all the sudden? You'll receive no sympathy from me, especially because the great tragedy of your life is your height. Get real.
MsGoogleEyes: i was actually just testing the fumes i wasnt going to do it today
| 9 | 0.666667 | |
1661138694 | 1661192541 | t3_wuily5 | t5_2to41 | 867 | SkyHiro68: TIFU By reaching for my phone while watching my little sister
Ok so I am still shaking and crying over this as I am typing it. If you are one of those TikTok people who do reddit stories please dont do this one. My family uses tiktok and I dont want them to know I typed this. I am 18(m) and I have a sister who is 8 months old I will call her C for the sake of quickness. My Dad has a week long paid trip to Vegas and I was brought to come help with my little sister's (2 of them). My other sister was hungry so my Mom and Dad wanted to take her to get pizza leaving me with C. I had C on the bed next to me and while they were leaving my phone fell onto the floor. After they left I looked away to grab it and C who recently started learning to crawl fell off the bed onto the hotel floor. She didn't hit her head but she busted her lip causing her to bleed from her mouth. I quickly called my mom and started asking her to run back upstairs to help me. My mom grabbed her and starting trying to stop the bleeding and consoling her.
Dad: How convenient that not even 3 minutes after we leave she gets hurt.
Me: You think I did this on purpose?
Mom: Babe it was an accident he wouldn't do this on purpose.
After C calmed down my mom layed her on the middle of the bed because she had fallen asleep.
Mom: Would you be ok watching her while we go get your sister food?
Me: *nods*
Mom: Are you ok?
Me: *bursting into tears again* No
Mom: Do you want us to go?
Me: No
My other sister kept complaining about being hungry so they ended up going to get her food and here I am now crying on the hotel bed typing this.
TL;DR - I reached for my phone while watching my little sister and she fell causing her to bust her lip and bleed
Update - It's the next morning and C is clinging to me more than normal. It's like she knows what happened and is trying to make me feel better. I want to keep the post up so I can read all your kind words when I am feeling down. Thank you to everyone.
For those that are calling my dad and asshole he isn't home most of the time due to work and he is a great father. I think he was just mad that something happened and he let his emotions get the best of him. For those commenting on my mental health. When I was younger I didn't have many friends and the ones I thought were my friend were just trying to get me to do their schoolwork for them due to my constant 90%+ test scores so I had a huge distrust for people. I thought that I was just very unlikable. So when my dad said that it caused me to spiral. I don't have much irl friends but I have a great friend group that I talk to online almost daily.
RoodNewb: Dad of a current four year old.
Trust me in saying, it happens.
My son has fallen off the bed, hit himself off of coffee tables, fallen on steps (not down)...and a ton more stuff I'm sure I can't remember off the top of my head.
Kids sure do the darndest things.
In other words, don't let it emotionally scar ya. It's not too big a deal 👍🏻
Parttime-Princess: I once caught my boyfriends nephew (1 or 2 years old then) crawling as fast as he could towards the stairs while his mom was distracted watching his older sister...
Kids have no regards for safety.
davidgrayPhotography: They're best described as tiny drunk humans.
Upset_Taste_9309: At eight months they are more like suicidal potatoes
| 5 | 173.4 | |
1661139982 | 1661696595 | t3_wuj16m | t5_2to41 | 11,226 | madewithgarageband: TIFU by asking a stranger in the men's bathroom to hold my dick
Okay to preface, I work at a restaurant and after closing last night a few co-workers and I went out to a club. I initially didn’t want to go, but my co-worker \[Judy\] who I’m good friends with dragged me along because she was getting FOMO. We get there late, our friends had already booked a table and they had several bottles of liquor and we get quite trashed pretty quickly. For context, Judy is pretty chaotic and kind of a tomboy and that’s probably why we get along so well. It’s now into the AM hours and we’re both probably 10 drinks in, sweaty and tired and wanted to get away from the loud music for a minute, so we decide to find the restroom.
Now, this is where I first fuck up. I didn’t realize that this club’s bathroom was gender neutral, I saw urinals and I immediately think ahh men. I had assumed Judy split off to go to the womens’ but she actually came in with me, I just didn’t see her. All the urinals are taken and I value my privacy anyways so I hit up a stall and start unbuckling my belt, only for someone to start banging loudly on the stall door. Now first I thought maybe \[the guy in the bathroom who hands out towels in clubs\] was telling me to hurry and I start trying to pee faster but then I thought, no, fuck this guy. I’ve literally only been in here for 10 seconds. So I zip my pants back up and throw open my stall door, to see not the bouncer but some random fratty-looking guy in a Hawaiian shirt staring at me. Feeling confrontational because I was annoyed and slightly drunk, I shout at him “what do you want? You wanna hold my dick?” Only to hear a girl’s laughter through the muffled music. I peek my head out and see Judy just past the door, apparently she had been the one banging on my stall just to mess with me which means I unsolicited just asked a stranger if he wanted to hold my dick.
Epilogue: I felt really bad about the whole situation and thought about apologizing but then Judy told me he tried hitting on her after by using the phrase "I think your boyfriend's gay, can I buy you a drink" at which point I just found the whole encounter hilarious.
tldr: angrily confronted someone who was banging on my bathroom stall door who turned out to be the wrong person.
bitcoinbillionthaire: Lol my friend once asked The Rock in the men's bathroom if he could hold his dick.
Ricksterdinium: Oh i wish the rock could shime in here.
Gatesofvalhalla: sure the Rock will tell everyone how a minor tried to hold his dick....
Ricksterdinium: She looked 18 i swear
dutchkimble: It doesn't matter what you think
Ricksterdinium: I.. was... Joking.
be_more_constructive: "it doesn't matter..." was a catchphrase of the rock
Ricksterdinium: Ah shit. My bad
dutchkimble: Mine too sorry!
| 10 | 1,122.6 | |
1661140565 | 1661141205 | t3_wuj836 | t5_2to41 | -27 | [deleted]: Tifu by beating my meat for the first time
[deleted]
CornyCreeper: You're addicted bro. Beating once in a while and beating 6 times in a day are two pretty different things... There's no problem with the former but the latter can get really problematic if you dont take action early on..
Toxins845: Thanks for the advice any suggestions
CornyCreeper: Control your urges. Whenever you feel like beating, do something else that provides dopamine bcs in essence, that is all it is, a dopamine addiction. The brain doesn't know the difference between habits and addictions, all it knows is that it likes dopamine.
That's all i can say..
| 4 | -6.75 |
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