start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1662177859 | 1662186040 | t3_x4l1th | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating an edible
[removed]
-Ernie: First edible was 400mg?!
Yeah of course you tripped balls, lol.
WrathOfVishnu: I only smoke now which is a much better way to deal with my anxiety 😂
| 3 | 3 | |
1662182565 | 1662184596 | t3_x4mfrf | t5_2to41 | 20 | SavageKitsune762: tifu when i snuck a girl into my house so we could be on my roof
I (15m) fucked bringing my friend(16f) into my house so we could chill on the roof. For major context, i am aromantic and not interested in this friend in any sexual or romantic way, entirely platonic. We were hanging out by these connexes (shipping containers near a church) and having a blast talking about things we share an interest in. One thing we instantly clicked on was exploration and roofs. She said she had never been on a roof before. I said i have a roof thats easily accessible. What i didnt say there and then was that we would have to sneak in past my sleeping grandma and make it to my 2nd floor window to get to the roof. She thought it was a good idea because my roof can be gotten to easily, and she likes being on roofs. So we agree to go on my roof when everyone was asleep.
12:36 am rolls around and sure enough, everyone is asleep(my mother rarely sleeps sue to her insomnia and MS) i message her and say everyone's asleep, wanna come over? She says yes. I tell her ill wait outside for her, so we can sneak into the first floor window(this window connects to the downstairs master bedroom, comes more into context later) we make it past my grandma(medium/light sleeper) and make it to my room. My window is really loud, so you can hear it open from 100 feet away. We get onto the roof, and we vide for like 5 minutes before she starts feeling nervous (she has serious anxiety issues which doesn't bother me) so we slowly get down, as i guide her to my window. We get to my room, she breathes a sigh of relief, then asks if i want to go to the connexes(again, also called shopping containers) i say sure.
So we get downstairs(damn those creaky ass steps) and we make it to the master bedroom. Problem arises, this is where to goes from 10 to 100 real fucking quick. For reference, that master bedroom has the only bathroom downstairs, and bothe my mom and grandma suffer from things that make stairs very very painful. So everyone uses that bathroom. My mom is apparently using the bathroom and i stop dead in my tracks, my mom almost caught me with a girl in the house, so i tell my friend(for anon reasons will be referred to as Friend) to back up very quietly. She whispers why. I tell her its because my mom is in the bathroom blocking the chance fo us to get out of the house. I tell her to hide in my moms room(my mom and grandmas rooms are downstairs) and she says she needs to get out NOW because she is starting to have a panic attack. Then the dog(little asshole ankle biter dog) starts barking like crazy. Then my mom discovers Friend, hiding in her room. I escort Friend out the house and then try to explain why she was here. My mom didnt take "hanging out on the roof" for an answer and thought we were having sex. I had never thought about or fantasized about that shuff about her(platonic relationship) and now im probably gonna get the ass beating of a lifetime.
TL;DR got caught with a female friend in the house and have to explain that we weren't having sex
Edit: added paragraphs
SavageKitsune762: I need advice on how to unfuck this situation
Hk-Neowizard: Start with some paragraphs. Seriously, much fewer people will bother reading a wall of text than otherwise would
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1662185064 | 1662235621 | t3_x4n50a | t5_2to41 | 44 | Fernando_536: TIFU by playing “Glimpse of Us” by joji next to my girlfriend
[removed]
CovidPangolin: 15 year olds need to stop making tifu posts, your lives are boring as fuck.
Fernando_536: It’s a good thing I’m 10 years older then 15
CovidPangolin: Lmao, nothing to show for it.
AMATHYST_MLX: Solipsism be like
| 5 | 8.8 | |
1662185550 | 1662187071 | t3_x4n9q7 | t5_2to41 | 12 | RREDWOLF83: TIFU I think my friend tried to sleep with me
[removed]
koozy407: Don’t freak yourself out. If she did want sex, she will give another sign. It’s not like you missed your one and only chance. Try texting a flirty comment and go from there. Good luck.
RREDWOLF83: Yeah I guess you are right. But like I said we are close so a lot of things us 3 did could come off as couple things. Like I random scratch her back, give her foot and back massages. Hell I have seen her boobs and “made out” with her during a drinking game.
koozy407: I’m a chick and putting myself in her shoes and I’m 99% positive she is DTF BUUUUUUTTTT it does not sound like she wants a relationship or feelings with you. So as long as you are cool with that, shoot your shot
RREDWOLF83: Even if she is a lesbian and hasnt been with a guy in years? She did say that she wanted to f**k a chick when I came back from home earlier last week. Dont get me wrong I am game but she also told me that she and my best friend confessed their “love for one another
koozy407: She sounds like a girl that enjoys herself and that is 100% okay!! Just be careful and don’t catch feelings. You also have to decide if possibly fucking up the friendship is worth it
RREDWOLF83: Thats fair, her and my best friend are doing fine I guess. Also I didnt realize I was replying to the same person each time so sorry for the duplicate replies. Should I pursue or just let it play out, we are playing paintball tomorrow and then going to my best friends (We will call her D) for a drinking game. D’s GF is trying to hook my good friend (A) up with her boss. But A said she probably wont be interested
koozy407: I really think you are thinking too much about this. Go to the party, play the drinking games and have fun if something happens it happens and if not, no biggie. When we think too much and force things it usually never goes right
RREDWOLF83: I tend to overthink a lot and miss read things, I really do appreciate it. This helps, I may actually use it more
koozy407: Man, if you can master this at your age the world is in your hands. Good luck and BREATHE. Shit has a way of working itself out:)
RREDWOLF83: True True, Thanks again. Now bed time
| 11 | 1.090909 | |
1662185664 | 1662186226 | t3_x4nat6 | t5_2to41 | 18 | sunset__view: TIFU by jokingly saying I wanted to kms via school email
Okay. During my 7th period I was emailing a friend who moved from my school to another one in a different town not so far away. While we were talking to each other, I was doing my math homework. It was difficult for me to process, and I was taking my best guesses. I leave the app I was doing it on for a second and I go back to Gmail and email my friend saying "oml my math homework is so hard I wanna kms".
I think nothing of the email and that nothing scary or nerve wrecking will happen. Boy was I wrong.
After school I was looking at my mom's acoustic guitar that she left in the hall, and she called me over saying "[OP] did you email a highschooler?" I'm confused for a second and I say no and that I only email my school friends and teachers. She then mentions that I said in an email that I wanted to kms. I get nervous, and I make up an excuse saying that someone told me, and I forgot who, that kms meant correct myself but you replace the c with a k, and they didn't tell me the actual meaning. I also tell her that the person who told me spelled correct like that all the time for fun and games, and that I could too. Then I tell her that I never had intentions of offing myself, which is true. And that I meant I wanted to correct myself on my homework.
So then she opens her phone app and reveals all the spam calls and voicemails from the district the school and the town my friend is in saying that I said what I said in the email to a highschooler and if I needed any help to call the police. The person I was emailing was in middle school, not high school. My mom explains to me to not trust some people and what they say because they can turn out to be lies(something like that). After the explanation we call the school and request to speak with the counselor. She left a few minutes before we called so the person on the phone says she can put the Vice Principal on the line. My mom agrees to that and while talking to the VP I explain my lie of "Someone told me that kms meant correct myself with a K instead of a C", but I didn't lie about the part where I never had intentions of killing myself. During this conversation I tried so hard not to cry, and to fight it I tried thinking of Vocaloid memes or cursed images, or basically anything that will make me burst out laughing. The call eventually ended and I go to my room to process what the fuck I just did.
So now I'm gonna try to be careful about saying anything on my school email. I wanna start using my personal email to talk to my friend, but their chromebook doesn't let them use any other email other than their school one.
TL;DR: I emailed a friend saying my difficult math homework made me want to kms. My district, school, and the town nearby kept calling my mom and leaving voicemails explaining what I said in the email, and me and my mom called the school and confirmed with the Vice Principal that I'm okay, and I lied saying I thought it meant "korrect myself" to which it didn't. I'm gonna try to be careful now.
Amerikaner83: You learned that some things are not to be joked about.
You also learned you've got people who truly care about you.
Scared_Weekend_7979: I would also like to add that there are some things that should not be said over professional communication systems like school/work emails. Those systems are 100% being monitored by the overlooking faculty that is providing the service.
| 3 | 6 | |
1662188671 | 1662224919 | t3_x4o3b2 | t5_2to41 | 1,760 | [deleted]: Tifu by keeping her face covered with my shirt while having sex
[removed]
lycheelu5: This is literally gross and disgusting and she’s never going to forget it
InternationalBunch22: Yea her behavior was right?
ThisIsWhoIAm78: "Ew, your dick is so small. Also, can you turn the lights off? You're too ugly for me to have to look at while we fuck."
How you think brosef is reacting to that? Still funny?
Delicious_Throat_377: Any sane person would walk out, not start smashing things like crazy
ThisIsWhoIAm78: She broke two things, she didn't smash shit like crazy. You all are acting like she trashed the whole house. She could have broken that stuff while drunk and trying to get dressed and arguing with him. I have no idea. I want to be clear, don't ever deliberately smash anything, but she was drunk, devastated, and humiliated. She wasn't exactly sane in the moment.
Delicious_Throat_377: A lot of mental gymnastics to prove her innocent
ThisIsWhoIAm78: No, that's called empathy. You should try it sometime.
Delicious_Throat_377: Nah i have enough empathy. I just don't insist on proving insane people sane.
ThisIsWhoIAm78: You have three lines in a second hand story on TIFU and you can clinically determine this woman is "insane"? Wow, you're fucking psychic? Amazing! Also, what form of "insanity" would you classify this as? What would you diagnose her with, based on a long pattern of behavior from her, her history, relationships, and physical exam?
"We were drunk. I treated her like a sex doll. "She began to sob uncontrollably." Does he comfort her? Feel bad? Naw, he tells her, "It was just a prank, bro!"
She now is getting up, sobbing, and trying to get dressed while he tries to stop her and convince her to get back in bed and continue the sex, since he hasn't come yet. She feels dirty, humiliated, and used. She lashes out and breaks something - intentional? Maybe. She wants to hurt him the way he's hurt her, which is an incredibly human reaction even when people are sober. She leaves.
Yup, sound like insanity to me too. Man, you were right. Total lunatic. She should have laughed, shut up, kept her face under the shirt, and thanked him for the dick afterward. Maybe cleaned his apartment for him and cooked him food before quietly leaving, knowing he wants her gone before he wakes up. THEN she would have been a decent woman (unless she's had sex before of course, then she's just a dirty whore). Amirite?
Delicious_Throat_377:
>Amirite?
Yup. She's insane. Just like you.
ThisIsWhoIAm78: Hmm. Clearly a perspicacious man, I am impressed. The "No u" comment is really cutting to the core. What wit!
See ya, Delicious throat 377. I'm guessing you're about 14 years old, and I'm done mentoring teens for the day.
Delicious_Throat_377: See ya
| 13 | 135.384615 | |
1662189244 | 1662189692 | t3_x4o8p2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting in Taco Bell
[deleted]
andnom: Sounds like you had a shitty day…
dell_55: I did message the host around an hour ago asking for TP. Didn't mention the explosion. I sterilized the place.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1662180817 | 1662204347 | t3_x4lx4t | t5_2to41 | 51 | Beautiful_Fishing569: TIFU for watching anime at a birthday party
[removed]
bobbyisgayhehe: Damm I bet they thought it was something diffrent
SwimmingCount: Sadly a minor ecchi scene can be misunderstood as a hentai anime by normies out there such as what happened with OP
* scoffs superiorly *
bobbyisgayhehe: Times u will be Jude as a week
| 4 | 12.75 | |
1662189743 | 1662191279 | t3_x4oddq | t5_2to41 | 13 | NotSundayy: TIFU my girlfriend of 3 years just left me
My girlfriend of 3 years just left and I don’t know if was my fault or something else is happening.
Context: me and my now ex were dating for around 3 years. We’ve been dating since freshman year and I thought she was the one. She was amazing and we genuinely loved each other. At about a year in I didn’t put in enough effort into the relationship because I was obsessed with playing my games and she broke up with me. We eventually consoled and got back together for another 2 years.
Until about a week and half ago, out of nowhere she decided she wanted a break, I was panicked and caught off guard, I knew we hadn’t been seeing each other as much over the summer but that was because we both had part time jobs and now that the summer was over we were going back to school and going to see each other every day. i met with her in a park later and asked what she wanted and it was just that she “needed space and to see if she actually wanted to be with me or not”. I felt initially really horrible and all of our mutual friends seemed like they took her side over something. Her reasoning was she didn’t feel loved and I had done this before so she didn’t trust me and said I gave her trust issues. Somewhat later we decided to walk out dogs together as they get along. I ended up going back to her house and ate a little food before I pulled her aside and kissed her. She was upset but seems to be playful and said “I wish I didn’t have to do this break” and she kissed me back. A few days later she decided that the best course of action was to take a break and stop talking to each other entirely and hope that we’d figure something out. I gave up after 38 hours because it was miserable and definitely wasn’t healthier than what we had going on. I asked her if she had made up her mind and she said yes she didn’t want to date me ever again. I was upset later that day removed her from all social media, but I felt wrong so I called her and asked why she did it. She kept the same story I did it twice, she wasn’t sure I wasn’t gonna do it a 3rd time and she didn’t want to find out. she said she had still loved me but couldn’t ever get back with me. We decided that we would just be friends because we still have a lot in common and still very much make each other laugh. After school had ended Thursday we decided to go to target and buy some things and hangout. I liked hanging out with her again even just as friends. But come to find out today she just wants to stop talking to me all together. I agreed.
I was upset and asked around one of my friend said she had already been planning a date with this new guy but only to use time for something.
I thought rebounds this early are very bad and I thought the obvious. I’m sure she cheated at one point and the guilt inside was hurting her. I asked another friend what he thought and just said not to think about it and to just “move on”
Please help me Reddit I want to know if you think she cheated or what I did wrong. I’ll answer any questions in the comments I just can’t sleep over this.
TL:DR my girlfriend of 3 years decided to just break up and give no explanation.
theonlyone38: Bro, you lost her the first time when you stopped caring.
You don't get second chances with women. When you lose her, you lose her for good.
Stop looking for reasons to reassemble something that is dead. Its time to let go.
NotSundayy: I just want to be friends with her at least but she seems adamant that that’s not going to happen even though when we were the healthiest she said she would always be by my side
theonlyone38: Friends? You broke her trust. Why would she need to be friends?
People break up and need time before you throw the word friends around. That just isn't respecting her boundaries at this point.
NotSundayy: All I did was my job, and let her work on hers otherwise I saw her all summer when I could because I loved her
theonlyone38: I know you're hurt, but the more you push the further you push her away now.
If you truly want to be friends, leave her alone and respect her wishes. Then you can mourn the loss of the relationship without coming off desperate and clingy.
You need a period of silence now that this chapter has ended.
NotSundayy: Thanks
theonlyone38: You're emotional and hurt, so be careful when you speak to her going forward. Don't let emotions be sole driver of how you handle things. There is a bit of logic to this as well.
I mean someone just told you that they don't want to be a part of your life, and while they do mean a lot to you, have a little bit of self respect to be able to say: hey I can find someone that does want to be a part of the *rest* of my life.
I know its too early to consider that, but in time you'll be thankful that someone that wasn't happy didn't stay unhappy. Much like you will do, in time.
| 8 | 1.625 | |
1662191717 | 1662195123 | t3_x4ovga | t5_2to41 | -12 | [deleted]: Tifu by having freaky time with a girl
[deleted]
127peter: Most 16 year old would be proud to have oral sex with a willing girl and everyone knowing. To be clear did you ejaculate ? And was it just you who had oral with her and did she enjoy it
Ablaze_Lift: Yeah i only gave oral and that was the whole thing and yeah she did
127peter: Sounds to me like your really immature. Are you masturbating yet ? When I was 16 I’d have come with her help or without it. Maybe you were repulsed by it? Certainly a weird tale.
Ablaze_Lift: Well i didnt wanna loose my virginity and i was definitely not attracted to her at all, it was all a drunk mistake bc i definitely wouldnt have even gone to hers sober
127peter: Stay off Reddit. Your completely immature
shadesofwolves: OP, ignore this person.
| 7 | -1.714286 | |
1662191680 | 1662216701 | t3_x4ov4m | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by Contributed to two kids losing their dog
[removed]
JMochs23: You can't play the 'if' game, especially when it's not your fault. Yes you hit the dog, and yes the dog ended up passing away, but the blame lies only with the one left with the responsibility of watching the dog. She didn't do her job and now 2 kids lost their pet, and you're left feeling responsible having been unwilling involved in a terrible, unfortunate, and completely avoidable situation! It's nice that you feel bad as it shows the good in you but don't take on blame that's not yours to carry. Grieve as you may but don't carry the guilt of someone else. I hope your heart heals quickly and that this doesn't have any lasting effects on you. Sorry this has happened to you and I'm glad you are otherwise ok
[deleted]: I know, I couldn't sleep so I posted to help with the guilt and it did help a bit. It was avoidable 100% and serves as a lesson to our family. I always drilled it into everyone to keep our pup secured and they've gotten upset about having to triple check gates and doors before letting him run around our back yard. Thank you
JMochs23: I completely understand. When I was in my late teens I watched my younger sister's Chihuahua get run over by the neighbors and it was brutal. The guilt I felt knowing I would probably be the one to tell her was immense and yet it was our mother that let it out by itself to go to the bathroom. Needless to say that was the last time any of our pets were let outside without a leash or at least a runner!
Like I said, your post shows the good in you and if posting helps to curb the guilt in any way then have at it. Whatever it takes. As long as you know it's not your fault. Again, I'm sorry you had to go through that!
[deleted]: Sorry to hear that.. horrible. Thank you again
JMochs23: Thank you as well
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1662192358 | 1662256752 | t3_x4p1f6 | t5_2to41 | 4 | so-boo-sentual: TIFU by smoking on the school bus and almost died
It’s nothing much but, I really did mess up with this one! This was almost about a year ago, I had just turned 16 it was the end of the school day and me and my friends were getting on the bus, one of them had a wax pen and I decided to hit it about 12 times on the highest setting- when the school bus pulled off from the school about 15 mins after we all got on the bus the high hit me really fast like too fast and I started to panic, i had my head out the window while the bus was moving and everything. I had my Apple Watch on and it started going off like crazy saying that my heart rate went over 100 bpm I guess and I decided to get my phone out and look at my heart rate and it was up at 189 😅 which made me panic even more cause my friends were scared when I said that and they said that heart rate wasn’t good at all and I should be in cardiac arrest. I told the bus driver that I was having a panic attack (which I was but she didn’t know from what) and I needed to get ASAP home- she took me home first (I genuinely thought I was going to die so I convinced myself if; I was I needed to be next to my mom lol) while I was walking to my house when I got into my building the panic started to happen again so I walked passed my door to go back outside and at that point I really thought I was going to die again and convinced myself once again that if I stayed outside for fresh air (which is what I needed) that my mom was going to find me dead on the porch so I went back to my door and it was locked, so I pounded on the door and my mom opened it and asked me what was wrong, I lied at first but this is how the conversation went:
Me: Mom I had a panic attack on the bus, and it keeps on happening and I don’t know what to do
Mom: what did you do? Did you eat today
Me: I didn’t do anything and yea I did but it just happened and I wanna go to the hospital
Mom: you should be fine your probably just stressed just calm down and relax
Me: ok
While I was talking to her the panic went away, but after I got done talking I told her what actually happened because I started to panic again (I convinced myself once again that I started to panic cause I lied and this was god punishing me and trying to kill me for what I did *my real thoughts*) and she laughed at me so hard and told me to go to my room and lay in my bed and sleep it off cause she wasn’t taking me to the hospital now. I deserved that- I ended up going to my room and falling asleep I ended up thinking that I died again and I actually think I did for real this this time because I ended up waking up in the middle of my sleep but I didn’t really wake up, I wasn’t in pain anymore but I was in like a dark place but I didn’t feel alone and I wasn’t scared I was just there in the dark place waiting for something then I woke up in shock sitting up gasping for air and it was I kid you not the next day (A1 SLEEP) I fell asleep around 4pm and woke up the next day around 10am lol, I was way too high… the following Monday (this happened on friday before the weekend) I didn’t get on the bus and took the city bus to school and I proceeded to do that for the rest of the year… I was traumatized to even get on that bus anymore… I’m sorry if this is like all over the place lol, the only memory’s I have is the important parts of that day lol!
TL;DR: I got REALLY high on the school bus and thought I was going to die
AdRevolutionary2583: Haha I’m glad she didn’t get you in trouble. The best consequences are natural consequences so I’m sure you learned your lesson well
so-boo-sentual: Oh yea I definitely learned my lesson! When I tell you I never smoked again- I never smoked again 😭
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662194021 | 1662204487 | t3_x4pgb3 | t5_2to41 | 10 | crypto4life07: TIFU by telling my wife to ignore the criticism by society :)
We were celebrating our 3rd year Marriage anniversary, having a nice dinner date and not sure how we got into a discussion around feminism/sexism topic. I have been always aware of my wife being extremely angry towards this topic.
Our view differs in a particular way, My wife is of opinion that men and women should not be considered different at all and my view are all labels are ok, we should just teach our kids to treat everyone equal despite the labels (Men-women, white-black-brown, desi-oriental...all are labels and lables are ok but saying one label is better than others is NOT).
Anyway, I felt she was getting heated about me not agreeing to her idea that labels should be removed from the society.
She : Society thinks Women's brain is inferior to men.
Me: Screw with this kind of society. Anyone who thinks along these lines is dumb
She: You are saying this because you are a privileged male!
I admit this completely threw me off the topic. And I thought of a closure.
Me : It doesnt matter if I am privileged male or not. In the end, everyone should believe that what they have (brain/way of thinking) is unique, different and should absolutely not take any criticism when others tell them that they are not good because of Labels. Difference is good.
Not sure how but this blew her off to the point she started screaming at me at max volume.... She said only a privileged male can say something like this and this is extremely hurtful that I am trying to tell her what to believe. Only males do that to women and tell them what to believe!
My wife has been into Budhdhism a lot, reads books, podcasts and philosophy. I tried to somehow contain the damage by saying that this is what Budhdhism also says that to believe you are complete and nothing is wrong with you. That literally made her explode more.
​
TLDR ; I told my wife, that all of us should believe that we should ignore our sexist society's criticism and I caused a massive fight :(
​
post comments note:
Reading all the comments, it feels bad in a way to be on the good side.. its almost awkward.
I have realized that there is anger but I never imagined how much of it is. But thinking about the end goal, I wonder how to fix this anger. We all have our share of world treating us unfairly, some of us absorb it and dont let us get to it, and some do and again, everything is ok. I believe things has been getting to her.. and real things that have happened. That built up anger makes her explode when I don't get her view. It comes as if I am not listening and perpetuates this anger even more. Its weird cycle. I have found peace in understanding that the world will remain unfair and I either active go out there and do something about it or just deal with it and make sure that I treat others equally.
I do believe massive disparity does exists in society and just everywhere in the world. But instead of putting it straight up to male vs female, I believe its human nature and power dynamics. The powerful tend to dominate weaker in most situations and I think historically men have always exercised more power. I dont know what is the solution, and I am not in a position to do anything about (govt policies, education are some ways to fix it) but a discussion between husband and wife, a group of friends arguing over it just another equivalence of keyboard warriors fighting for nothing.
I am sure there are plenty with valid anger about unfair things with no justice done, how did you cope up with it in the end? Coping up doesnt have to mean that you accepted defeat.
​
​
Buddleia01: But men and women are different both mentally and physically. That said, labelling people is a shit thing to do.
FlamingButterfly: I feel like you missed the point of what OP said about labels.
Buddleia01: >and my view are all labels are ok
I think not.
FlamingButterfly: So an African American can't be labeled as what they are? I feel like you have huffed so much glue that you read into what OP said and took it as an attack. A large part of the world has to have labels applied for society to function properly.
crypto4life07: As much as we will try to remove the lables, they will be always essential to our advancement. Adults vs toddlers vs babies vs newborn. Those are labels too. Basically every classification is label and I genuinely dont see how we can function efficiently without classifying things. We do learn from classification and we make progress.
​
Issue happens when we get into a mindset that my label is better than yours. That is what needs to go.
Focusing on labels is just waste of energy and misplaced efforts.
FlamingButterfly: I fully agree, I was a history major and the amount of times I saw labels used as a way to put yourself above someone was sickening.
| 7 | 1.428571 | |
1662202389 | 1662213850 | t3_x4rkz6 | t5_2to41 | 2,249 | [deleted]: TIFU By sexting with a potential cyber criminal on video
[deleted]
The64YearOldWalrus: Get one step ahead and put a video of you popping your jolly on Facebook
struggling_student45: i'll go two steps ahead and dm my followers a film of me nutting on cam
hot-sauce-on-my-cock: Who's cam?
struggling_student45: Mine. Also, your username is very appropriate here. Edit, my bad english. Cam is somebody that I used to know
Python119: >Also, your username is very appropriate here
THE FUCK WERE YOU DOING ON VIDEO???
struggling_student45: A string of strange requests came from the other party let's just say.
MINECRAFT-BEE7: Let’s hope it’s not a classmate/ coworker who wanted to fuck with you man.
struggling_student45: Dw i found him/her on Reddit haha
MINECRAFT-BEE7: Big W boss man. Congratulations on this certified hood classic W
| 10 | 224.9 | |
1662203226 | 1662208649 | t3_x4rt4q | t5_2to41 | 37 | TheNazgulCannotCum: TIFU putting my brother in charge of the projector
[removed]
Slimjuggalo2002: This is hilarious! If I am you, I am planning a long, cold revenge.
allxOld13: I'm thinking about a performance or new song on baby brothers problems with constipation;-)
Slimjuggalo2002: Sure. On his wedding day.
allxOld13: 🎵 Un bebé chiquitito quería cagar
Trataba y trataba y no podía cagar
El hermano, su amigo lo quiso ayudar
Y un pomo de laxante lo hizo tragar 🎶
Taratatan tatan El himno del cagón
Repeats.
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1662203485 | 1662204210 | t3_x4rvno | t5_2to41 | 50 | Legendarystuff16: Tifu by making a worker think I was a racist even though I was trying to make his job a little easier
So this happened around the time of expo 2020 and I (13m) was eating in a place with delicious hotdogs and boba and we had finished eating. My bad was on the table when a worker came to clean the table and take everything away. So here is where I might have fucked up. I saw him wiping the table and since my bag was in the way I thought that it would make it harder for him to clean and he would eventually ask me to move it so I picked it up and put it in my lap. I instantly felt bad because he ended up saying “it’s ok, I’m not gonna steal it”. I still feel very guilty about it and tried explaining but he laughed as if it was a joke which was a good sign but I remembered people can laugh when they are hurt so I felt even worse.
TL;DR worker came to clean my table but I moved my bag to make it easier and he said “it’s ok I’m not gonna steal it” and I came across as racist
v0kk3r: Not your fault, you acted with kindness in mind.
Legendarystuff16: I know but I still feel guilty
| 3 | 16.666667 | |
1662205873 | 1662237442 | t3_x4sk52 | t5_2to41 | 737 | Sir-weasel: TIFU - by displaying porn in a meeting
OK, so this actually happened 20 years ago (god I am old).
I used to work in the insurance industry in the UK. I was on a large multi faceted project to help the aging company change.
One part of it was assessing the competitors online presence and present it. In the room was the greater project team (60+ people), my boss, my bosses boss, my bosses bosses boss and the HR Director.
I didn't want to present to a crowd like that so I volunteered to man the laptop/presentation.
Everything was going well and the crowd were asking decent questions. Until, one guy...let's just call him Cunty McCuntface, says that we have missed a whole sector. Insurance aimed at gay people. He mentioned Pink insurance. This got the directors interested and discussion going.
I thought I would be helpful and bring up the website of the competitor. I typed Pink.com.....the website is actually insurepink.com.
Pink.com is hard-core porn, which I was now displaying on a large screen projector for all to see. I realised my mistake and fumbled to shut down the browser. Accidentally clicked on one of the images in my panic.
The room is now silent, looking between me hammering on the computer to try and shut down the site and the porn on the screen. I am sure some thought the weird 20 year old has decided to surf for porn, while forgetting the projector.
I finally get it shut down, turn to a room of baffled people. At the time I didn't "do" public speaking, but now the room wanted an explanation.
So with a very red face I try to explain, that I opened a pornsite not an insurance company because Cunty McCuntface mentioned Pink insurance.
There was a brief silence and then the room erupted in laughter.
In one mistake, I became the urban myth of the office "did you hear about the guy who displayed porn to the whole management team?" Though it was interesting to hear how the story "evolved" over the following months. Ranging from "pervert" to "elaborate quitting event"
Funnily enough, I moved to engineering not long after that.
TL;Dr - displayed the wrong website to everybody and it was porn
i_lie_except_on_31st: Lol. I feel you. Had a guy freak out because he wanted to visit dept store gaylands.com
He forgot the "n".
penapox: gaylandsn.com?
ariannarose11: gaylads.com
penapox: oh nevermind i’m just dumb
| 5 | 147.4 | |
1662207148 | 1662213094 | t3_x4sybm | t5_2to41 | 66,152 | goinggoblin: TIFU by telling my gf to go goblin mode on this dick
Really messed up. I showed my gf videos of animals going goblin mode because it’s one of the best meme types. They just start running around and go nuts. We have a dom/sub relationship with me being dom. Awhile ago we were getting down and I start choking her and told her “I want you to go goblin mode on this dick”. I swear I could pinpoint the exact moment all of the moisture left her body. She asked me to stop so I did. She left the room and locked herself in the bathroom to “question her life choices” and now things are awkward. We haven’t had sex in weeks. She ignores the memes I send her. The last thing she said was the internet isn’t real life and she’s having a hard time finding me sexy anymore. I don’t know how I can recover from this.
TL;DR was fucking my gf, told her to go goblin mode on this dick. Turns out that’s the worst thing to say if you do want someone to go goblin mode on you.
Mind-Your-Language: I mean.... There is a song that might put her back in the mood... It's a long shot but it's worked for some 👀
goinggoblin: Wait really?
make_t0tal_destr0y: Yes, [I think this is the song they’re referencing](https://youtu.be/KAwyWkksXuo)
Chasethemac: Holy shit I laughed my way through that tifu without listening to the song. It's been days and I just now listened to it lmao.
shiloh_jdb: Backstory? Or link to what’s being referenced?
Chasethemac: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Here you go
ifallupward: I needed that laugh. Anyone know what the deleted comment said? It has a bunch of awards and now I need to know ...
AnApexPlayer: Something to do with clowns I think
_ser_kay_: “A clown falling down the stairs” actually.
bloom_splat: Inflatable?
| 11 | 6,013.818182 | |
1662207825 | 1662249626 | t3_x4t5v7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Sir-weasel: TIFU - accidentially presenting porn in a meeting
OK, so this actually happened 20 years ago (god I am old).
I used to work in the insurance industry in the UK. I was on a large multi faceted project to help the aging company change.
One part of it was assessing the competitors online presence and present it. In the room was the greater project team (60+ people), my boss, my bosses boss, my bosses bosses boss and the HR Director.
I didn't want to present to a crowd like that so I volunteered to man the laptop/presentation.
Everything was going well and the crowd were asking decent questions. Until, one guy...let's just call him Cunty McCuntface, says that we have missed a whole sector. Insurance aimed at gay people. He mentioned Pink insurance. This got the directors interested and discussion going.
I thought I would be helpful and bring up the website of the competitor. I typed Pink.com.....the website is actually insurepink.com.
Pink.com is hard-core porn, which I was now displaying on a large screen projector for all to see. I realised my mistake and fumbled to shut down the browser. Accidentally clicked on one of the images in my panic.
The room is now silent, looking between me hammering on the computer to try and shut down the site and the porn on the screen. I am sure some thought the weird 20 year old has decided to surf for porn, while forgetting the projector.
I finally get it shut down, turn to a room of baffled people. At the time I didn't "do" public speaking, but now the room wanted an explanation.
So with a very red face I try to explain, that I opened a pornsite not an insurance company because Cunty McCuntface mentioned Pink insurance.
There was a brief silence and then the room erupted in laughter.
In one mistake, I became the urban myth of the office "did you hear about the guy who displayed porn to the whole management team?" Though it was interesting to hear how the story "evolved" over the following months. Ranging from "pervert" to "elaborate quitting event"
Funnily enough, I moved to engineering not long after that.
TL;DR - clicked the wrong website in a meeting, killed my career, became an urban legend within the company
Old-Passenger-9065: 20 years ago was a different time I remember around that time we busted the maintenance guy jerking it in the basement and a few months later at the Christmas party management awarded him with a MASTER Bater award in front of all. About a year later he was fired for sexually harassing and stalking a housekeeper.
Select_Remote5138: that got dark quick
| 3 | 3 | |
1662206049 | 1662215101 | t3_x4slzz | t5_2to41 | 3 | Sir-weasel: TIFU - by presenting porn in a meeting
[removed]
randomclouds90: Don't forget the power of "alt+tab" my friend.
Pcprof: Alt+F4 will close the window
randomclouds90: Oh, learning something new today haha. Thanks!.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1662212707 | 1662214424 | t3_x4ussk | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU By accidentally mentioning to my little brother that my mom wasn't allowed on a theme park ride
[deleted]
justyn122: Not to be an ass. But maybe she can use some of that embarrassment as motivation to not be so fat.
Theweirdposidenchild: What the actual fuck
justyn122: I'm sure it'd slightly "insensitive"
And yeah it's shitty you shamed her. But you know what else is shitty? Losing your mom to some stupid illness that she got because she was over weight and is fixable.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1662214015 | 1662214599 | t3_x4v9tp | t5_2to41 | 4 | ObsessedSasha: TIFU by thinking I had a chance with a celebrity
[removed]
Devittraisedto2: Did your other account get banned or
Because you're definitely the same person who was desperate for Sasha Grey and it only took you a few days to realize that's not possible.
\> I know I'm a loser and a creep and I'll probably never amount to anything.
Absolutely correct, you're fixated over a celebrity who will never give you the time of day unless you donate to her.
EnigmaticGentleman: I sincerely doubt he is the only person going insane for her.
Devittraisedto2: Considering the timing and the similarities between the two posts, I do believe this is the same person.
| 4 | 1 | |
1662214418 | 1662272513 | t3_x4vf8n | t5_2to41 | 3 | jaeotu: TIFU By smoking outside
Not sure if this post is worthy for this sub, but here I go. I (M15) was smoking on rooftops outside houses, careless when I got a photo taken of me sent to me, obviously the teenager I am I panicked, it being sent to my mom was scary but the fact someone took it just creeped me. I was analyzing buildings realizing where it coulda been but, I was confused and scared. Later he begins messaging calmly saying he was joking and that he was scaring kids like me, I calmed but I was just... creeped. He knew my socials too. Leaving aside that he can "BlAcKmAiL" me, I was just scared he took the photo. Should I be panicking like I am? I need comfort... Is this harrasment??
.........
TL ; DR Someone took photo of me smoking and anonymously sent it..!!
MrParo91: My reaction regardless of what you were doing. Would be too ask the guy, why are you taking unauthorized photos of children and then contacting them.
Ktulu789: And then what? Go to court and having their parents know? So entitled and so short minded.
He needs to stop smoking altogether. It's at least, a waste of his money, and for a teen, that's a lot xD
MrParo91: Why would he need to go too Court? Also I'm pretty sure a creep taking photos of kids and then contacting them is gonna trump typicai behavior from a teenager.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1662216659 | 1662217397 | t3_x4w8o8 | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking nobody was home
[deleted]
[deleted]: Omg... your roommate now thinks you're Mr 1" looooooool. Go get it hard and show him otherwise
locotech707: I would
[deleted]: Loool imagine he does... "look look look, it's actually 2"!!!! Loool
locotech707: Still better than 1" lol
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1662216327 | 1662247310 | t3_x4w49r | t5_2to41 | 63 | Saranghaix: TIFU by getting my dog a new dog bed
Lemme preface this by saying that I love my corgi with all my heart, he is my fluffy baby and I wish only the best for him. For my birthday I asked for toys and a second dog bed for him (one in the living room and the new one for my bedroom) - and it's been wonderful seeing him with new stuffed toys and another bed, except for one thing... I no longer get to sleep with him.
A lot of people lovingly gripe about their pets stealing half the bed, the pillow and blankets etc. My dog is very affectionate and for the past two years our nightly routine has been cuddles until it gets too warm, upon which he relocates to the foot of the bed, until we wake up and it's a quick morning cuddle before the day begins. He will stretch himself in the most inconvenient positions, lie on my neck, immobilise my legs, bite the pillows and I love him for it.
Now, however, the cursed new dog bed has foiled our routine - it's comfortable, too comfortable, and he now jumps off the bed to sleep alone after our initial cuddle! I went to sleep hugging my stuffed penguin last night for the first time in years (anything fluffy and cute is for all ages, fight me). I am absolutely devastated.
I truly do wish the best for my dog, but the cheeky corgi who normally refuses his dog bed to steal the couch like a real human is no longer sleeping with me on the bed :(
TL;DR: Got my dog a new dog bed in our bedroom, and now he prefers sleeping alone over cuddling with me on the bed.
TallChick66: If your bed is big enough, you could put the dog bed on your bed.
Saranghaix: That's a good idea! I'll try it tn :)
Limp_Lunch_5836: lmk if it works!
Saranghaix: It worked great! Now he has his own little section on my bed and stays there all night. Still no cuddles though - looks like I've truly been replaced by a dog bed 😭
| 5 | 12.6 | |
1662216220 | 1662226019 | t3_x4w2wl | t5_2to41 | 26 | Gideonstar: TIFU- Gave a good friend a loan.
So the usual disclaimer this didn't happen today, i lent a good friend £2500($2800ish) last December.
Im from the uk and he is in America.
I got made redundant from work and didn't need the money straight away, he needed a new pc and him being a very good friend(known and talked daily for 7-8 years) i thought it was a no brainer, sent him the money on PayPal.
And he agreed to pay weekly which he did.
Until two months ago when all of a sudden he stops making his weekly payments and blocks me on every social media plus steam, discord, and my number, he has also blocked my husbands socials.
Now i need the money to pay for visa application for my husband And im truly fuck as he might get deported.
Im really Lost of what to do next.
TL:DR Gave money to a friend he removed me from his life.
opschief0299: Never loan money unless it's a relationship you're willing to lose.
Gideonstar: Yeah i know that now.
| 3 | 8.666667 | |
1662218387 | 1662317191 | t3_x4ww3l | t5_2to41 | 120 | [deleted]: TIFU by biting my phone
I know how stupid this sounds, but just hear me out.
Okay, so, I’m a stupid 14 year old girl who was trying to climb a tree. I had no pockets, so I decided to hold my phone in my mouth so I could use both hands. Well, then, you guessed it. The screen cracked a very reasonably sized crack. To add insult to injury, (quite literally,) I swallowed some of the broken glass. It was only a little bit, but enough to scare the shit out of me thinking that I’d get internal organ damage.
So, as any 14 year old girl who just swallowed some of their phone screen would do, I went to my dad.
My dad was absolutely IRATE. He had justifiable reasons to be this mad, as I had just broken my phone screen for the second time within a week. The other time, I dropped it on some gravel. He took it to T-Mobile (which I highly recommend as a phone carrier, amazing coverage,) and they were able to fix it for just $15.
I didn’t tell my dad how I actually broke it, because he’s someone who HATES predictably consequences. I was mostly concerned about the little bit of glass in my stomach, rather than getting the phone fixed. He is currently hoping for my late abortion once I told him what happened. I’m still upstairs contemplating my potential death. I’m pretty sure I’d make it in top 10 world’s most stupid deaths, “Number six, we have Savannah ____ who kicked the bucket when attempting to carry her phone up a tree in her mouth, swallowing glass.”
TL;DR, I bit my phone while climbing a tree and I swallowed some of the screen glass.
Edit: thank you all for the advice to a slow person like me lol
Link5261: If the piece was small and not very jagged, your body may process it with some discomfort. If it has not yet passed and you feel a sharp stabbing pain or cough/defecate blood in the next 72 hours, cast aside your shame and contact your dad for the legitimate medical emergency.
As for a tip on holding fragile objects in your mouth: lips, especially when not slathered in balm, wax, saliva, etc, are about half as good at gripping objects as fingers. Depends on the phone for just how heavy that would be though. Much simpler to get a carry bag you can tuck it into such as a purse, hip hugger, backpack, messenger bag, etc.
SomeFeelings88: I feel like there are a bunch of jokes embedded in this ‘lips are half as strong as fingers’ statement
Are your lips huge? Are your fingers tiny? Who told you this?
Link5261: Not half as strong, but about half as good at gripping. Especially helpful is curling your lips inward to cover your teeth and then clamping down like a gummy bite.
SomeFeelings88: Thanks for the clarification 🤣
| 5 | 24 | |
1662219724 | 1662230928 | t3_x4xf0r | t5_2to41 | 342 | TopherB-1978: TIFU by eating the Sun
I (male 44) have always loved spicy foods and hot sauces. Whilst I never felt the need to exhibit my machismo through self destructive acts like the Carolina Reaper challenge, I was quietly confident in my tolerance of spice. Until today…
Visiting a local chilli festival, I had been enjoying cheeses, meats, crisps, nuts, jams, chutneys and sauces. Some mild, some hot, some very hot. Almost all absolutely delicious.
As I came to my final stall, I noticed some small children eyeing up the offerings, and the stall holder carefully and quietly moving the chilli gummi bears out of sight. When the kids had left, they came back out and I got to enjoy a sweet and hot treat. So far so good. Working down the line of other sauces available for sampling, I finally came across a raised platform in the center of the trestle table. Where the rest of the stall was decorated with red fabric and bright colorful ribbon, this little platform was unadorned covered in nothing but a simple black cloth. In the center of this dark circle was a lone pot. Adjacent to this tasting pot was a simple sign. “At customers own risk!”
I had seen signs of this type all around the festival. I was undaunted. I was a man who could stand the heat, and I was not going to get out of this kitchen. I took a wooden sampling spoon in my hand (the proffered cocktail stick I considered to be for amateurs) scooped a cautious sampling and popped it into my mouth.
First off I was pleasantly surprised and almost disappointed by the tart fruitiness. Ha, I thought, so much for “at own risk”.
Then a distinct smokiness as the chipotle component made itself known. Perhaps this was not such a disappointment. This was actually pretty good. Then the prickle on my lips let me know that the heat was about to come through. Yup. There it was. The prickling sensation spread across my tongue. Right to the back of my throat. Not bad! The prickling gave way to a stronger heat. Alright!
But where I had expected the heat to persist and then plateau, it continued to build. I was beginning to think that perhaps I had made an error when my nose started to dribble snot and my eyes to tear and stream so hard that I couldn’t see.
A drink. That’s what I needed. I looked at my empty water bottle, and turned to my wife. “Please get me a drink?! I can’t actually see to walk to any of the bars.” Grinning sheepishly at my own situation I waited for my drink and for the heat to subside.
Instead the heat remained, but now it was accompanied by a crushing pain in my abdomen. This pain was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Not exactly sharp or stabbing, but certainly more than just an ache, I can only liken it to the imagined experience of swallowing a large sphere of ice, and the resultant black hole of sucking pain that might ensue in the center of my body.
As I started to sway and sweat with pain, feeling disorientated I accepted the cold beer and slumped down on the grass, concerned that I might actually end up being physically sick. I continued to sip on the beer, breathing shallow and fast, concentrating on just not throwing up. Concerned looks were passed between my family members. Was Dad ok?
Five minutes later I became convinced that the nausea was going to exceed my threshold for containing it, so staggering back to my feet I started towards the portaloos at the edge of the field.
Arriving at the toilets I was close to giving up, when suddenly the pain simply vanished and in that same instance each and every pore of my body simultaneously liberated every drop of sweat available. My shirt was instantly soaked, and the gentle breeze immediately chilled me to the bone. But I didn’t care, because the relief from misery and pain was euphoric. I practically skipped back to my family, beaming smiles to everyone I passed. I had survived. It had not been an experience I would relish repeating, but it was one I would always remember.
I did then begin to consider what the delayed results of my experience might be. What might I feel when that condiment from hell finally made its way all the way through my body to be released back into the world? Just as the worst horrors of my imagination began to crystallize, the singer on the live music stage began to belt out the classic Beatles’ song “Here Comes the Sun”.
For those interested the sauce was called “Who Dares Burns: Extreme Prejudice”
TL;DR Ate a spoon of hot sauce so strong I nearly collapsed.
Calm-Seaworthiness69: I've had that same experience. That pain in the abdomen from one bite is a whole new level. It's interesting they were able to get the flavor of the sauce before the heat kicked in.
TopherB-1978: The whole experience was a bit surreal. My mind was just capturing it a layer at a time. Sweetness, smokiness, heat…more heat…Jfc still more heat…aaargh!
Calm-Seaworthiness69: And then a little longer and your stuck on your throne with the ring of fire.
| 4 | 85.5 | |
1662216701 | 1662308282 | t3_x4w97q | t5_2to41 | 221 | MemoryExternal9619: TIFU by miscommunicating with my closest friend
When my college started, I joined a week late and didn't know anyone except two friends. I joined their friend group. There was a girl in that group. We didn't talk much, just hii hello.. for around 1.5 months. Then we started talking, and I felt just great hanging out with her. I just wanted to spend more and more time with her. During the 15-day vacation, I felt bored at home and missed her a lot. After the vacation, I thought I had a crush on her and should tell her. Then, after a week of thinking, I concluded that I shouldn't tell her as I didn't want to be in a relationship with her nor was I physically or romantically attracted to her. But just the next day, after making a conclusion, we met and spent the day together, and I couldn't control myself and told her I liked her and how much I liked to spend time with her. She just said nothing would happen to us over friendship, and I was feeling very anxious and changed the topic. Yepp, that's where I miscommunicated and made her think that I wanted to be in a relationship. For me, she was my closest friend, but for her I was just a friend, and I had no problem with that, but the miscommunication I caused just made everything awkward because she just acted like nothing happened, and I don't want to talk about that topic because I will mess things more.
TL;DR I told my closest friend I liked her in a way that sounded like I wanted to be in a relationship with her, ruining our friendship.
checkerboardpants: Brother - you’re in denial. You like her. Just because she’s not your type doesn’t mean she’s unattractive and I think that’s where your misconstruing things. Regardless, she doesn’t seem to care you brought anything up so just move on as friends.
Worrying too much.
JimmyRedd: Yeah, how can you have a crush on someone but not in a physical _or_ romantic way?
Nintazz: In the aromantic community it's called a squish.
FinishFew1701: Interesting. Explain more
SilasTheFirebird: You know how when you're in love with someone and you want to hug or cuddle them?
It's like that, but platonically, like hugging a close friend or family member. You love them, but not romantically.
FinishFew1701: I'm having a real hard time wrapping my head around this. If I love familialy,, I love them deeply and have no issue with physical touch- real true hugs-that sort of thing. Like how I can't love my grandkids enough.
But a female (as I am straight) friend, crush, interest, lover, I cannot separate the great feelings I have for them (at any stage) and an entrenched desire for touching that is a veiled attempt to discover if there is/could be more. I guess I'm pretty concrete in that love is touching, undoubtedly, but there are only two types. Set me straight
| 7 | 31.571429 | |
1662222173 | 1662222394 | t3_x4ye6w | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: tifu see you in hell haribo sugar free gummy bears
[deleted]
Mr_Grinch91: https://www.amazon.com/review/R2JGNJ5ZPJT4YC?ref_=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=7ac75cec-f72f-4c95-a162-3a25eb19d3ee
algoporlacara: First thing that came to my mind.
| 3 | 1 | |
1662223851 | 1662227882 | t3_x4z1lt | t5_2to41 | 11 | Gold-Caregiver3504: TIFU by waiting to long.
TIFU by waiting to long.
I (14m) confess to my crush (14f) that I like her 3 months ago and she liked me back. Wonderful. We are in the same friend group and whenever we would hang out, her friends would push or nudge her towards me she would freak out and run away or grab her friends and put them between us. I thought that meant she wasn’t ready to hang with me alone so I decided to wait. Until one day I was tired of waiting so I tried to invite her to go to out to our local amusement park. She didn’t know what I meant and thought I meant the group and went on to invite them as well. We ended up not going cause every one was busy. Fast forward a month of texting each other how our day was and such, she leaves on a trip out of state and the worst part of it all is she comes back when I leave to Mexico. When we get back we hangout in our group and she is really distant. We went to an ice rink and when ever I got close she would skate away, didn’t even look at me or say hi or bye, but everyone else she hung out with and even made a handshake with my best friend. I was devastated. She’s is beautiful and kind and she gets along with my family wonderfully. Both our family are immigrants to the USA so they have a lot in common as well. Another week of hanging but ignoring me, I ask her 2 best friends if I did anything wrong. The first says I did nothing wrong and she just moved on and the 2nd said I didn’t take her on any dates so she lost interest and when I told her friend I thought she wasn’t ready, she said she was and was waiting for me to make a move. Now I sit here balling my eyes out, she’s my world we helped each other when the other was sad and we were there to see each other at our happiest. I definitely still love her but she doesn’t anymore. I just need a place to vent What should I do ?
TL;DR
Me and this girl were talking and she lost interest in me because I never made a move but I still love her. What should I do?
MadRockthethird: Sounds like she's feigning disinterest to get you to make a move.
Edit: changed interest to disinterest
Gold-Caregiver3504: Sorry I don’t understand there’s a typo
MadRockthethird: I'm sorry I should've said feigning disinterest
Gold-Caregiver3504: So should I move on?
TransitionBroad6996: if you're sure enough that she doesn't love you anymore then you should move on.But you can talk to her about it,ask her why she's distant and cold.Good luck and I hope things work out for you 2: )
Gold-Caregiver3504: Thanks:)
| 7 | 1.571429 | |
1662224239 | 1662320234 | t3_x4z6wz | t5_2to41 | 15,347 | GrandeFodedor: TIFU by Pavlov conditioning myself to get a boner every time I see the ocean
I(22M) have had a crippling fear of the ocean since I was a kid, the fact that I live on an island doesn't help that at all, with the years the fear only got worse, so at the beginning of the pandemic I had a great idea. Since I would not be going to the beach for a long time I started my master plan, every time I have sex or masturbated I would put ocean sounds in the background, so the memory of the situation would overpower the fear of the ocean, and it seemed like a great idea, so I did it, every time, no skips for the last 2 years.
So yesterday I put that to the test, after 2 years of doing this it was time to see if the experiment had any results, some friends were going to play volleyball at the beach and I decided to go with them, but the moment I got out of the car, and heard the sound of the waves it was my end, rock hard, instantly, no questions, everyone was getting out of the car, and I was just stunned, just stood there, reflecting on every decision I ever made, every wave crash was like a punch in my balls, every seagull sound a shock through my whole body, I tried to stay in the car, but my friends started to mock me, so I put on 2 extra shorts and just sat there watching my friends play while I was trying to pray for any higher being, align my chakras, hypnosis, anything to make the monster sleep, but nothing worked, and worse, the fear was still there, everytime I looked at the ocean, my stomach would sink, and my phallus would get harder, it was hell, the dichotomy of the human existence every 30 seconds. So I got back to the car with them, everybody asked why I didn't play, didn't go in the water, and I couldn't get myself to explain to them that on top of my fear of the ocean, I Pavlov conditioned myself to have the biggest boner imaginable just by listening to the sound of waves.
TL;DR: started having sex listening to ocean sounds to drown my fear of the ocean and ended up Pavlov conditioning me to get a boner every time I listen to waves
SimonTVesper: look at the bright side: whenever she wants you in the mood, just out on some soundscapes.
_King_Crab_: Nah this is better
https://youtu.be/KAwyWkksXuo
TheLightKyanite: STOPPP IT’S EVERYWHERE I GO
chrisbru: I learned about this 20 minutes ago and it’s now been in 4 consecutive threads I’ve clicked into. Inescapable.
cake_molester: But what is it tho
P0werPuppy: A guy posted it saying he fucked up by playing it during sex.
She isn't turned on by him anymore, because even now he's turned the music off, he's still fucking to the rhythm.
Ninjayac: Check out u/tylerlife s newest post
P0werPuppy: I've seen it already. Big oof.
Edit: it got fucking deleted.
Accomplished-Ad-9996: I didn’t get to see it before then, what did he say?
P0werPuppy: His gf broke up with him because of his "sexy" time music.
| 11 | 1,395.181818 | |
1662224414 | 1662357121 | t3_x4z9cz | t5_2to41 | 14 | Ucat2BKittenm3: TIFU by being too sex positive
A bit of background on me, I am a mid twenties lady who is bisexual and used to work at an adult toy store so to say I am comfortable talking about sex is an understatement. Now onto the fuck up that happened last night.
Some of my friends and I were out at a local bar when I notice a woman standing near me. As I am a friendly critter I start chatting with her and compliment her outfit to which she begins showering me with praise. As we talk more and more I begin to realize we have a lot in common and ask for her number. In my mind I am so stoked because I find it really hard to make friends and the conversation between the two of us was flowing so smoothly. She was clearly intoxicated but I was sober so I asked if she would like to join me outside to smoke some weed. She obliged and we made our way outside to where there was a bit of a line forming to go into the bar.
We begin smoking and she asks me why I don’t drink so I explain that I take meds that don’t mix well with alcohol. Seemingly excited she asks me if I’ve been having trouble cumming since starting the medication (this is a common side effect). Now I know what all of you are thinking but I’m over here super stoked to meet someone this open with their sexuality, so I happily exclaim that I CAN cum while on these meds and did so before arriving at the bar. We then begin in depth discussing our orgasms, what makes us tick, wether or not we can cum with partners etc and ask her if she’s tried using sex toys. She says she has some but none of them really do the trick. Now here’s where I fucked up.
Like I said in the beginning I used to work at an adult store so I have a lot of opinions/knowledge about sex toys. It was literally my job to find people the right toys for their body and needs so I am invested as fuck in getting this stranger to be able to bring herself to orgasm. I enthusiastically suggest that I bring my box of sex toys over to her house so she can see different types of toys and figure out what she likes best. In my mind this is a completely reasonable thing to do with a friend so imagine my surprise when she asks me if I want to help make her cum. Shocked as shit I ask if she is hitting on me and she laughs and tells me she has been all night.
Now I’m not 100% on how this next part happens but imagine me, high as fuck suddenly finding myself being pushed against the building and kissed passionately. The whole time I’m internally screaming because I genuinely wanted to be friends and was not expecting this at all. To make matters worse the line for the bar has now incorporated us making out and people are standing in front of and behind us to try and get in. I end up breaking off the kiss and we go back inside where I promptly grab my friends and get the fuck out of there.
So if you’re anything like me, for the love of god DONT offer to take all your sex toys to a strangers house unless you want to fuck them.
TL;DR Thought I was making a new friend at a bar so I offered to show her all my sex toys.
127peter: Sounds like a made up post
Ucat2BKittenm3: I wish it was but I’m not that creative.
127peter: Sounds like the only help you need is to stop smoking.
heat200: Ah, I just love to see a fresh cup of justice served in the early hours!
127peter: ??
| 6 | 2.333333 | |
1662228192 | 1662228816 | t3_x50p9y | t5_2to41 | -1 | Rebeca6669: TIFU, Reddit. I (23F) did something truly, absolutely horrible.
I know I shouldn't have. I know that, for my entire life, I've held back. I've managed to go on without doing this nearly every day since I heard about it, because I knew if I did, I would be corrupted forever. I knew that it would ruin me, a little bit, and that it would leave me forever changed, forever a shell of the woman I used to be.
I should tell you all something before I continue. I'm known as an incredibly thought-out woman. I spend my time making decisions that I think are for the best, generally, and I prefer to spread joy in the world. I like feeling happy, I like making others feel happy, but sometimes I just can't hold myself back. Sometimes I have to sit down and do something that's just, disgusting and terrible.
I hate it every time I do it. And today, reddit, I've done something truly terrible, something I can never take back, and something I will never recover from. My friends won't ever see me the same way again, my family won't even talk to me anymore, and I'm not sure if I can look at myself in the mirror.
I used to live every day like it was my last, I used to wake up in the mornings feeling happy, I used to enjoy everything that I did, but I just. I can't stomach this, I can't stomach my own actions, I can't handle the person that I've become with this one singular act. All of my time on this planet, wasted, because of one shitty snap-decision that I'll never recover from.
I guess I'm making this post as a way of apologizing for my actions, or as a way of trying my hardest to actually sit down and get all of my thoughts in order. A way to clear the air, so to speak, with myself, if that makes any sense. I'm sorry that this has gone on for so long. It's just so incredibly hard to sit down and actually say out loud, but, here goes. Today I fucked up, by making a Reddit account.
TL;DR I made a really bad joke and it ruined my relationship with a new group
taterz1021: Yikes. Be careful. It starts with making a Reddit before you know it your starting an Only Fans and snorting Coke
Rebeca6669: It's a slippery slope, I've been told. I'm never going to recover from this.
taterz1021: RIP old Rebeca!
Rebeca6669: I already miss her. She was so kind. So beautiful. So understanding. Her friends respected her...
| 5 | -0.2 | |
1662230109 | 1662253863 | t3_x51fs7 | t5_2to41 | 61 | [deleted]: TIFU by holding back masturbation and having pain in groin area
[deleted]
periperichipstogo: I thought the OP was someone I know because I just heard this happen to someone else 🤣
He apparently does not ahem empty his pipes regularly enough (like goes weeks at a time) and got a massive infection built up. He was having insane unbearable pain. Ended up on antibiotics (after an entire day in the ER trying to get answers) because the infection ended up developing from not erm draining the tubes.
If the pain continues even after you finish, you should go be seen by a doctor to make sure you don’t have an infection too
Apollyom: thank you kind for sir for giving me the justification to do it at least 3 times a week.
periperichipstogo: Lmao you’re welcome. His doctor told him to do it every day or at least every other day.
So an apple and a jerk a day keep the doctor away I guess?
Bigfops: Buy an apple corer and you can kill two birds with one stone.
periperichipstogo: Well I’m a girl so not for me but 😂😂
Isn’t an apple corer razors?? 😳😳
Djsimba25: It's so you can fuck the apple
periperichipstogo: 😳😳😳
| 8 | 7.625 | |
1662230664 | 1662231186 | t3_x51nhk | t5_2to41 | 4 | CantLoveSasha: TIFU by thinking I could control my life
[removed]
JustWantedAUsername: If you describe your future partners as dumb and average looking youll probably end up alone. Heres the thing, anyone who is good at anything worked their asses off to be so. Suggesting that every artist or skilled individual was born with the talent takes away from all the work they had to put in. Your right, youll probably never be a lot of things, but its because the effort required to get to that point is beyond what you are willing to put in. I wouldnt stress about one job turning you down or firing you. There are a million factors that go into these decisions. I suggest you dust yourself off and look for a company that will respect the skill set you cultivated with schooling. You may not be a master right now or even what a lot of places are looking for, but you dont come put of college with all the exact skills needed for every job in that line of work. You start small, develop your skill set and work your way up. You can do it.
JustWantedAUsername: Oh also, being personable is also a skill you have to develop. Nobody is born with a good personality. You have to work at that as well. Im in my late 20s and im still working on that.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662229993 | 1662252230 | t3_x51e4m | t5_2to41 | 1,516 | denkipb: TIFU by thinking I got spanked by a ghost
This happened a couple of years ago, but I just discovered this subreddit, so here we go.
My gf and I had been dating for a couple of months and were on a long road trip, so we decided to spend the night in a motel, in my country, it was pretty common to find hidden cameras or people spying on you through two way mirrors, but this particular one seemed decent and had “fancy suites” with jacuzzi and other amenities for a few more bucks so we decided to try it out.
We get to the suite and it was pretty big, had a small dinner table, couch, minibar, etc. Basically a small apartment. I noticed that there was a door right in the middle that said “Service staff access only”, tried to open it but it was locked. A couple of hours go by and we decide that it’s sexy time, I turn off the lights and when I closed the curtains, it got pitch black.
We get down to business and go prone bone when suddenly I feel a spank, not only did I feel it, I heard it, so I jumped out of bed, gf asks what’s wrong and I said “someone touched me” while rushing for the lights, I trip and fall, my gf yells “omg, there’s someone here!” I’m trying to find the switch while bumping into things, In my desperation I hit my toes with a chair so I grabbed it and pushed it over, suddenly my gf yells “go away!”
So now I’m thinking this guy is trying to do something to her, I make my way back to bed, adrenaline is pumping hard, tell her to get down as I swing punches left and right, she finds her phone, turns on the flashlight and I’m like “where that mf at?!”. We’re scanning the room, I slowly walk towards the lights, turn them on and the room is upside down but there’s no one else with us, now I’m thinking all sorts of things and start panicking because in my stupidness, it was a ghost.
I ask my gf if she’s ok, if “it” hurt her, she says she’s ok, and asks if I got hurt during the fight, now I’m confused and tell her that I wasn’t fighting anyone, I felt a spank and that’s what startled me, she starts laughing hysterically and says “that was me!”, turns out she flexes her legs in a weird way but that allows her left foot to reach my right cheek with enough strength to feel like a spank from a full grown adult. Now I feel stupid, embarrassed while she’s laughing and giving me shit for fighting a ghost.
TL;DR: gf and I got a nice big motel suite, felt a spank during sexy time that made me jump out of bed and got me fighting furniture while trying to reach the light switch, gf tells me it was her but was too confused with my initial reaction to realize what was going on
Goose2_0: Wait... So did she actually see someone in the room?
ryc4d0: No, he probably made a noise when he fell, and she thought that the "intruder" had fallen lol.
FeelDT: She was clearly making fun of him the ole time he was struggling.
ryc4d0: She fooled both OP and me then lol.
| 5 | 303.2 | |
1662232025 | 1662288282 | t3_x526bm | t5_2to41 | 1,316 | buriednotmarried: TIFU by telling my new fiance the truth.
So I've always been *crazy* commitmentphobic. I told my boyfriend when we first started dating that I didn't believe in marriage, so he shouldn't ask. Well... it's been 8 years now and I've come around on the idea, finally. It was so awkward- I told him, "You remember how I told you not to propose? That I'd say no?" And he nodded and I said, "Well... if you ask. I'd say yes."
His *face,* you guys. Shining like the sun! I didn't know how much he wanted to! He's always respected my boundaries, and never pressured me once, so I had no idea this was what he's wanted this whole time! And honestly, I appreciate it so much. He knew I had a lot of trauma to work through and he's given me space to do that, which makes me want to marry him even more.
He proposed on my birthday, and it was so lovely. Things have been so sweet between us since.
Which leads us to yesterday night. I'm telling him how much I appreciate him, how, if I'm going to do something so scary, finally, I'm so glad it's with him. How I'm ready to face my fears. And he said-
"I never believed in love in first sight until I met you. I've known since I laid eyes on you that you were the woman I wanted to be with for the rest of my life." After all the thanks, he asked me, "Did you feel the same way?"
Ya'll. I am playing it over and over in my head. If I had hesitated for just ten damn seconds, maybe I could've said something artful? But without even missing a beat I said-
"Honestly, I thought you were too pretty to have a thought in your head. I wrote you off completely until we were talking at (a party months later!) and I realized you had some substance." He pointed out that I had met him dozens of times between the night we first met, and the day I realized he wasn't an idiot... And because I wasn't at all thinking, I agreed!
He's been laughing about it since but I wish I could crawl into the deepest hole I could find. There is definitely someone less damaged who deserves him more than me.
​
**TL;DR** Told my fiance he was too good-looking to be anything but a complete idiot. Then doubled down and told him he just didn't say anything intelligent for over a month in between our first meeting and when my opinion of him changed...
Synn0289: Sounds like he understands you...this is rare.
ChonkPolice: Medium rare I'd say.
Junior-Frosting-9485: Ah yes, just how I like my women, medium rare
Sterling_Thunder: Calm down Hannibal
SirVanyel: Cannibal* But close!
ics-fear: /r/woooosh
| 7 | 188 | |
1662232447 | 1662243456 | t3_x52c15 | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming in a tinder girl's mouth
[deleted]
El_Burrito_Supremo: You definitely blew it.
SageCactus: I see what you did there
Melodic-Ad7271: I saw it too.
| 4 | 6 | |
1662232765 | 1662305255 | t3_x52g9u | t5_2to41 | 749 | _BreakingGood_: TIFU by becoming addicted to something without even knowing what it was
So this is a weird one.
I bought a big package of a zero sugar "juice" like product. Like 64 bottles total. I started off drinking a lot, maybe a bottle a day. Then after a while I cut it down to maybe 2-3 bottles a week. But then after a while I just started getting really bad headaches. I had no idea what could be causing my headaches, I thought it was just me staring at my computer or phone for too long, so I'd get out and go for a walk, but it never really helped.
I just lived like this for a while, just random really bad headaches. Sleeping helped a little bit but nothing else would really get rid of them.
Then one day I'm sitting there having breakfast and I randomly decide to read the ingredients in the juice bottle (I was wondering how they make it sweet without adding sugar), then I notice it "200mg of caffeine per bottle." WTF.
TL;DR I was completely unknowingly becoming addicted to caffeine, then going through withdrawal, over and over again. I probably went through caffeine withdrawal 3 times a month.
_BreakingGood_: For those thinking "How could you not notice it was the juice?"
It was because I felt fine as long as I was still drinking it. If I drank a bottle for 7 days, I felt fine for all 7 days. I only got a headache if I *didn't* drink it for at least 2 days after having already drank some. I also wasn't tracking my intake like "Ok I had 3 bottles the last 3 days, I'll have another today." It was "I want some juice today."
hitbyacar1: 200mg of caffeine is like a large cup of coffee so it’s not like *that* much caffeine
JacksonD22: What?? A cup of coffee is 80mg of caffeine… 200mg is a lot of caffeine at once. Might as well be considered pre workout.
hitbyacar1: A large coffee at any of the major chains has 200-400mg of caffeine
JacksonD22: That’s just simply not true, maybe if you got no ice with shots of espresso you could get a large coffee to 400 mg but that’s going to cost you an absurd amount of money. A cup of coffee is a cup of coffee 80 mg per 8 oz.
hitbyacar1: https://www.caffeineinformer.com/complete-guide-to-dunkin-donuts-caffeine-content
Dunkin - 300mg in a large
https://www.caffeineinformer.com/the-complete-guide-to-starbucks-caffeine
Starbucks - 410mg in a large
https://coffeeaffection.com/how-much-caffeine-in-peets-brewed-coffee/#How_do_Peets_coffees_caffeine_levels_compare_to_those_of_other_beverages
Peets - 267 mg in a large
JacksonD22: One very specific roast had 375 and every other roast was under 200. But nice try though. Like I said 8 oz = 80mg. You can scale that up however you like.
hitbyacar1: A large coffee isn’t 8 ounces though, a large coffee at Starbucks is 24 ounces.
JacksonD22: Hence why they have 200mg of caffeine, i would guess it’s around 20 ounces. I wouldn’t recommend more than 400mg of caffeine a day to anyone frankly. The biggest energy drinks you can get barely reach 300.
| 10 | 74.9 | |
1662234507 | 1662234766 | t3_x533je | t5_2to41 | 2 | DriedUpSemen: TIFU by embarrassing myself in front of my girlfriend and her friends by saying I would, "drink the milk out of Donald Trump's man tits."
I fuuucked up.
Me and my girlfriend were at a get together with four of her friends that I didn't know at all. I was very nervous, as I am not the best socially, especially around new people. Believe me, they could read me like a book and tell I was very nervous and uncomfortable, particularly my girlfriend. At one point, one of her friends even asked if I was feeling alright. I felt like such a weirdo, being eyed on by all those people.
My girlfriend being the nice person wanted to help calm me down, and wanted to help me get to know her friends better, and for them to get to know me better. So she came up with an idea. She told all of us that we should all play a game where we announce to each other our "dirty secrets", just for fun.
Everyone loved that idea, and everyone was really excited. Blyme, I was even excited too, and thought that this could be very fun, and a good chance for me to get "redemption" in front of her friends, and make them laugh.
After the rest of them went on saying their dirty secrets, it was finally my turn. I was really nervous, but I knew if I said something hilarious, whilst making them all laugh, they wouldn't see me as a "weirdo" anymore.
"Okay Jeremy, what is your dirty secret?" they asked me.
"Well. It is. Very strange." I said, while making a funny face, in an attempt to insert some physical humor.
I came up with what I thought was something so random and clever, that it was bound to make them roar with laughter, I even had a hard time keeping a straight face due to how funny I thought it was.
"Well! I find Donald Trump very attractive, and if I was ever given the chance, I would suck the titty milk out of his fat man tits." I screeched, barley being able to contain myself due to how funny I thought the remark was, even piercing a bit of laughter.
Well let me tell you, they didn't feel the same way.
Instead of laughing like I thought they were, they just stared at me with a weird look on their faces, like I was some sort of freak. I began to panic, and realized I had to make up for them not laughing, so I tried to save face by adding in a sly remark attached to the Donald Trump comment.
"I mean, come on! Have you seen him on the news? I want to be Melania in a heart beat, give me some of those Donald Trump Titties, I want some orange milk! HONK HONK!" I said in a funny voice, while making a breast grabbing gesture, and licking my lips.
I surely thought that they were going to pour in with laughter, but they didn't. It seemed like if anything, it seemed to worsen things for whatever reason, as they were now even more silent, and just looked at me with more disgust. Awkward vibes and silence began to flood the room. I was even more of a nervous wreck then before, and it didn't help with the silence. I was still confused that they didn't even let out a peep, while I could barley hold myself together while saying those words, due to how comedic I thought they were.
After nearly 15 seconds of pure silence, it was finally broken by my girlfriend who in a rush, explained to the others that we should go. She grabbed my hand with force, while looking very angry, and left the house and went straight to the car.
The car ride was even worse, as it was as silent, awkward, and embarrassing as before. She dropped me off at my house and peeled off. I have thought about texting her and apologizing for making an ass out of myself, but I don't know what I should do.
TL;DR; Made a joke about wanting to drink donald trump's titty milk, and ended up looking like an awkward weirdo in front of my girlfriend and her friends.
DekuTrii: Comedy is tricky.
DriedUpSemen: You could say that again. I mean, I thought I had superb delivery, as well as great physical humor jumbled in. I guess they didn't get my sense of humor.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1662235063 | 1662244702 | t3_x53awl | t5_2to41 | 21 | onemorestripe: TIFU by spending $20k without talking to our neighbors
So this was a communal fuck up at work but I'm posting on my account (hi MJ!). We go through tons of cardboard at work. We import and export door hardware. Before covid, we always had a guy in charge of flattening the cardboard and taking it to the dumpster for recyclables. It's a law where I work. Since the pandemic, we had about 75% turnover. I went from a customer service rep to head of accounting (not relevant, just bragging). Subsequently, we raised the salary of new hires by 50% because we were falling behind on orders. This is important because management couldn't stomach paying someone $15 an hour to crush boxes.
Coincidentally, our warehouse condominium association chose to let the contract with the waste disposal company expire. This is key because we used the same disposal company for our recyclables. So if the association lets their contract expire, then the disposal people are no longer allowed in the condominium and they can no longer take our recyclables and our contract is null and void (pretty standard contract in my industry).
Here is the communal fuck up: we decided to buy a bailer to crush all our cardboard. We reasoned that with a simple investment, we could go from spending $300 per month to making $100 by selling the bails of cardboard. We bought the bailer for $20k. It was on the higher end because we reasoned that it would pay for itself eventually. The CEO agreed and signed off from the beginning.
Then the new contract came in the mail. Our association had negotiated with the new disposal company and got them to agree to a communal cardboard dumpster for all the warehouses to use. Seems the other neighboring companies were having the same issue and decided to speak with the association instead of buying expensive equipment.
It gets better. Remember when I said the bailer would pay for itself? The company that we use to collect our bails is experiencing one of those worker shortages where people don't want to do back breaking work for minimum wage. So our pick ups are super delayed. The bails get stacked and take up space in our warehouse. We started using the communal dumpster because we need every inch of this warehouse for storage. The bailers sits in a corner quietly mocking us.
TL;DR: we spent $20k on a bailer that we didn't need and the "worker" shortage is making sure we won't be getting a return on our investment any time soon. All because we didn't talk to our neighbors.
DraconixReviews: Just call your local walmart and ask to speak to someone from claims and get the company from them that takes bales. No need to worry about worker shortages then.
RelicBeckwelf: When I worked there back in the day, Walmart took their own bales. Shredded it down and used it as void fill on online orders.
| 3 | 7 | |
1662235020 | 1662271431 | t3_x53acl | t5_2to41 | 2 | Internal_Teaching_80: TIFU (update) by going on a double date / half blind date with my nephew
Hi guys,
You all know the story when I went with my cousin on a double date and the chaotic situation I found myself in. I posted the story on reddit with the exact same title as here, so read that if you haven't already.
Well, this is what happened after I posted the story here on reddit:
Nobody noticed it, they didn't use reddit. But they al use Tiktok. So thank you guys for upvoting the fuck out of my last post, sombody took it to tiktok (:.
A friend of the fat girl (no offence) saw the post and showed it to the fat girl, laughing about the story. Little did she know that that story was about the fat girl. The fat girl told the girl I date and she became mad at me.
She told me how I can't post personal things and can't describe her friend as fat and ugly and told me that she would only talk to me again if I apologized on reddit.
Well,
Sorry fat girl. I am sure that you will find someone who thinks you are as beautiful as my girl. And sorry for sharing it on reddit.
Babe, can you text me as soon as you see my apology tysm
TL;DR the fat ugly girl with a monobrow saw my previous post on reddit and snitched it to my girl and now I need to apology
Icy_Engine_7648: Link to the first story?
pomikaki_ad75: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x1sgnn/tifu_by_going_on_a_double_date_halfblind_date/
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1662236013 | 1662237384 | t3_x53ne9 | t5_2to41 | 8 | DullGood9107: TIFU by finding out that hearing loss is fatal
[removed]
everydayasl: I am a Deaf person to a 5th generation Deaf family. Most of our ancestors lived to nearly 100, so, what I have read is certainly bull-fucking-shit!
SnooHedgehogs1524: No you're a zombie. It's double tap time.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1662236234 | 1662245549 | t3_x53qda | t5_2to41 | 34 | odiobananas: TIFU by wearing white to my cousin's wedding
Obligatory happened about eight years ago, but I only just realized it.
For background when I was a teenager, I was very unaware of social customs. I had a very small friend circle and we were all awkward nerds with very little social life outside getting together to watch anime or play video games. I wore hoodies and jeans every day and did not subscribe to fashion trends or anything like that, so when my family was invited to my cousin's wedding out of state, my mother was the one who helped pick dresses for me and my sisters (only my little sister was fashion forward, the rest of us succumbed to trusting the mother on clothes). My mom narrowed down the selection of JCP dresses to two or three, one of which was an all-white summer dress that she really liked and I didn't totally hate. Definitely couldn't be confused for a wedding dress... but it was white. I wore it to the wedding and then never wore it again.
No one said anything day of, or ever afterwards, so I didn't realize it was a no-no for weddings (because hello, nerd girl has no idea about these things and it was my first wedding). Fast forward several years and I notice that my cousin is very short whenever I try talking to her. I figured it was just because we were never super close, as she's several years older and just in different places in life. I only ever saw her on family vacations. Come to find out she's never that short with any of my sisters or other family members, only with me. I thought it was weird but honestly it wasn't important enough to try and figure out.
After ages of reading AITA posts and bridezilla stories about wearing white to other people's weddings, it hit me like a brick, just in the middle of the workday. She's mad because I wore white to her damn wedding! Understandably so!! I can't believe my mom let me do that.
Tldr; I wore white to my cousin's wedding when I was a naive teenager like eight years ago and I think she's been upset about it ever since
honeykino: To be fair tho if it was that long ago and you were just a teenager she should've let that shit go by now. Tbh I never understood Bridezillas who let every little thing ruin their wedding day. You would think they'd be more concerned with enjoying the actual ceremony and not who wore what in the crowd observing.
odiobananas: In all fairness she didn't let it ruin her day... that I know of. I mean I feel like if it was THAT big of an issue with her someone would've said something, I think it's just a little thing she held onto subconsciously.
And, since we were never close to begin with, I could be reading into it too much because of the eight years delayed embarrassment.
honeykino: I didn't mean to sound so aggressive in my original comment, so I see where you're coming from. But it does seem weird that you would be singled out in the way she talks to you. Either way your mom definitely should have avoided the white dress. I don't think its that bad of a fu tho
| 4 | 8.5 | |
1662236859 | 1662243369 | t3_x53ygt | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing everywhere
[deleted]
Acetabulum99: This...is new information. How in the world does a waxing change this? The only thing I can guess is that with no pubic hair your sweat will not dissipate as easily and you end up being a bit more sticky. Your urethera can't change position...so im guessing the labia could In theory not separate as well due to the sticking, and then you've got like a diversion dam working. Kinda like a guy with the V pee the morning after sex..or masturbating.
Can someone with lady parts help me better understand this? Am I close or?
RudeSprinkles1240: Nah. This doesn't happen at all.
Acetabulum99: I'm gonna agree with you. This seems suspect at best.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1662236894 | 1662275655 | t3_x53yx0 | t5_2to41 | 38 | FruitLoopsAreAwesome: TIFU During Midnight Olympics
**For clarification:** My partner can't stop laughing as it happened again. She thinks all of you will enjoy this. I'll post a link to what happened last time below.
My partner and me are finally engaged. We celebrated last night with a family dinner. My daughter is incredibly happy that her step mum will finally be her legal mum. After dinner, my daughter is desperate to visit one of her best friends in the neighborhood. As it's the weekend, I tell her to call and if they're happy to let you stay over, grab your stuff and see you in the morning. She grabs her stuff and leaves to see her school friend after she gets a yes.
With the house now empty, my partner and I have a glass of wine. We're so turned on, we go to my office which is the one room no one will enter without permission. We get naked and engage in what can be described as midnight Olympics. During the sport, I end up pulling a muscle in my hip. We're in our forties and this isn't uncommon. This is the second time I've pulled a muscle in my hip from hard humping.
We clean up and head to the doctor. Sarah, (a wonderful human being and incredible doctor), takes a look at my record and just stares at me. I tell her it's fine to laugh. The three of us are all laughing our asses off at the situation. Another weekend where I end up injuring myself and now resting.
TL;DR: Pulled my hip muscles again during humping. Doctor asked me to follow the guide for older couples and stretch before the fun starts.
**Link to what happened last time:**
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/q27zph/_/
Antielixir: Where you trying to bump in a specific beat perhaps?
Vegetable_Property56: Maybe to the sound of dolphins?
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1662236982 | 1662240112 | t3_x53zyr | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally leaving a porn tab open
[deleted]
MuscleManReddit: Wanna know who else left a porn tab open?
My Mom
zero_cool702: Classic
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1662239251 | 1662256029 | t3_x54usa | t5_2to41 | 10 | Acutor_: TIFU- By laying down with my gf and trying to build our relationship
So I (19m) and girlfirend (17f) wanted to spend the night together, her birthday is in 2 weeks so I've wanted to make this month special for her. Now idk if I'm even going to be able to see her on her birthday. Basically my family is out of town for the weekend and my girlfriend wanted to spend the night, just cuddling no wrestling or demon time. I wanted to talk to her about our relationship and we did we talked and laid down and fell asleep together. Thing is one of my family members we'll call David came back home and broke into the house and stayed there the whole night, (David basically lives at my house, they aren't homeless either, they just stay here and doesn't pay the bills or provides anything), to watch us and make sure we weren't doing the demon time, her parents didn't know and my parents didn't know. But we both knew even that we had pure and good intentions our parents wouldn't. So we lied, well David I'm going to guess told my mother, which in turned called me and was going to show up at my gfs house to tell her parents. My gf told her mom, and I confessed as well. A night meant to build and give our relationship progress might be forced to a hault because I wanted it to grow.
TL : DR I wanted to spend the night with my girlfirend and build our relationship and we got caught.
marct309: Like those parents wasnt banging in the back of a hatchback at 17. I am not saying every teenager male or female needs to have sex.. But if they think they are ready and want to try it, it's better for the parent to prepare them than to ignore it.
- said as a parent of a 17 year old girl.
Acutor_: We didn't want to have sex. Just fall asleep in the same bed, arms wrapped around eachother.
marct309: And your parents was freaking out thinking you was right?
Acutor_: Basically we knew they'd, decline if we asked to sleep over, so we lied that we were at friends houses. I lied to david, but they told my mother even tho they didn't know I wasn't lying. Said they wouldn't say anything.
marct309: Meanwhile my daughter spends every other weekend with her boyfriend. Granted she is almost 18, more mature than any teenager I know, isn't ready for sex, but is on birth control just in case.
Acutor_: My girlfriends birthday is the 27th she'll be 18
marct309: Yea... Its the parents. Sometimes they try to raise kids stricker then they acted. Sorry bud..
| 8 | 1.25 | |
1662239320 | 1662294917 | t3_x54vpv | t5_2to41 | 50 | cupshitterthrowaway: TIFU by telling my girlfriend to shit in a cup
This happened just under three years ago. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. People know me by my username and I want to preserve what’s left of my girlfriend’s dignity.
My girlfriend and I study at different universities. We got together before we graduated high school and have been together since. We manage long distance just fine and have always had a healthy relationship, communicating regularly. Also, it’s worth noting that we can talk about anything. We’re very close - best friends as well as partners.
On to the fuck up. I’m in my room in university accommodation in another city. She’s in hers. She tells me over messenger that she’s in trouble. She desperately needs to poop but both the bathrooms are occupied. She can’t hold it much longer. Being a little bit of a prankster, and knowing she would of course not take me seriously, I casually suggested that in her desperate state, she (and I quote) “do it in a cup”.
Radio silence for a few minutes. She gets back to me in a panicked state. She says she took my advice. Not only that, but the whole endeavour had gone wrong, and by some major miscalculation, she had managed to miss the cup and get some on the floor.
I wasn’t that gullible. I knew she was pulling an uno reverse card and pranking me back. Oh, how wrong I was. I’ll spare you the evidence which was presented to me but I’ll have you know that it was conclusive and incontrovertible. She really had tried to shit in a cup, and missed the cup. Months later, she would move out of this room having left a subtle stain. A literal shitstain.
Needless to say, I was flabbergasted. I couldn’t fathom that she had actually gone through with it. I told her as much. I was met with an Anakin-esque response… “wait a minute, this whole operation was your idea”. Anyway, she started panicking and spend the evening covering her tracks and cleaning up. This was no doubt the last time she would take advice from me. If your friend asks you to jump off a bridge, you probably wouldn’t, but maybe you’d shit in a cup. I don’t know what on earth possessed her to follow through with my suggestion, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and I don’t blame her.
I tried to alleviate her embarrassment. “It’s fine” I tell her. “We’ve all been there”. I tell her that in similar situations I have peed in glasses when there has been no alternative. She replies very pertinently that peeing and pooping are different ballparks. I gave up on trying to console her, because we both knew this was a low point in her life.
Fast forward and we’ve been together for over half a decade now. I still bring it up from time to time and we laugh about it together.
TL;DR
Girlfriend needed desperately to shit. Messaged her to do it into a cup. She did, and on the floor, leaving a stain.
algaesuede: Tale as old as time
AcrobaticSource3: True as it can be
jkelly161: Same as it ever was really
| 4 | 12.5 | |
1662239004 | 1662244975 | t3_x54rak | t5_2to41 | 25 | Callme-cameron: TIFU by letting a spider stay inside my house
I don’t like to admit it, but I’m really afraid of spiders. Whenever I encounter one in my house, especially in my bedroom, I’ll freeze up and panic a little inside. Touching them makes my skin crawl, no matter if they’re alive or dead. Basically, I’m not the best when it comes to handling spiders.
Earlier today I saw a pretty large spider on my bathroom wall next to the shower. At the time, I decided to just leave it considering it was on the other side of the room and I sure as hell wasn’t going to get near it if I didn’t have to. I didn’t think I would ever see it again and was too scared to pick it up without some kind of container, so I thought I would just let it be someone else’s problem.
Fast forward to tonight. This all went down around 10 minutes ago. I had to go to the bathroom, and decided to take off my jeans and underwear while I was using the toilet because it was more comfortable and I expected that I would be in there for a while. I left my pants on the floor next to the toilet and continued to use my phone while I was doing my business. It was already dark outside by this point and I hadn’t turned on the bathroom light, so I was sitting in near total darkness besides my phone screen.
By now, I had forgotten about the spider. I just finished as usual and went to put my clothes back on. It was when my leg was about halfway into my pants that I felt something crawling on my thigh. All I could make out in the light from my phone was a dark shape moving quickly up my leg. Absolutely mortified, I tried to brush it off with my hands, all while flailing my leg around like an idiot. In my blind panic I leaned back on the shower screen and almost fell into the bath. The whole scene played out like a comedy skit. I turned my phone torch on to try and get an idea of what the hell just happened, and there it was. What I assume was the same spider I had seen earlier, standing by my feet. I immediately got out of there as quick as I could and I’m still recovering from the adrenaline rush.
TLDR: A spider got into my jeans while I was on the toilet because I was too afraid to put it outside earlier.
Teknuma: This probably won't help. Most spiders you see in your home live in the walls. They probably won't survive outside. They come out more often this time of years for mating reasons.
If they totally freak you out than keep a vacuum around ready to go.
[https://pestpointers.com/reasons-why-spiders-are-inside-your-walls/](https://pestpointers.com/reasons-why-spiders-are-inside-your-walls/)
Affectionate_Law3590: You're a monster 😂
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1662239809 | 1662245435 | t3_x552b7 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting me ex stay the night and phart on me
[deleted]
MajestaHazel: I have never in my life seen someone smell fart with a ph…
Scarboroughwarning: I've never seen anyone spell spell with an "m".
Seriously though, I 100% agree. Ph.... Lol
MajestaHazel: Welp. You can tell by my autocorrect what I usually say before “fart” 🤣
Scarboroughwarning: You're an animal!
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1662239702 | 1662268973 | t3_x550vg | t5_2to41 | 20,509 | Helovessav: TIFU by eating my man’s ass
I am a very sexual person i do really enjoy sex but as a clean freak and a girly girl i never had the thought to ever do something like this. I was giving him head like usual he always enjoys and has the same reactions and body languages. But this time, this time his body languages were a little off. He kept pushing my head down to his balls which is always something i do while I'm down there. As I'm playing with them in my both he pushes my head down more to his asshole. We make eye contact i simply asked him "are you trying to tell me to do what i think you're trying to tell me to do?" He said "yes". Without hesitation i start doing what i do best and oh my godddd how much he enjoyed it. As I'm doing it i feel how loose and relaxed his asshole is getting and i see he's going to climax. He reaches climax and as he ejaculates he lets out the biggest fart on my tongue. I never in a million years would've thought to myself that one day I'd literally taste a fart. I truly did this to myself. But, hey I'm not complaining atleast he was pleased. TL;DR
Shenanigamii: I was 69ing my ex one time and she let one rip in my face...I felt the wind in my hair. I've never tasted one though. Could you describe it for us that would rather not experience it personally?
jimginge: "I felt the wind in my hair" 😂😂😂😂
FlamingButterfly: 
Can you fart with all the colors of the wind?
axebodyspraytester: I think the only color of that wind is brown.
DudesworthMannington: Unless you eat some corn
Pretzels4Algernon: Oh, is that the blue corn moon?
GalacticExtinction: No but it *is* why the grinning bobcat grinned...
I-hate-picking-name: What about singing with all the voices of the mountains?
SkeletalOctopus: Can you *prrrrrt* with all the colors of the wind?
FlamingButterfly: Can you prrrrrt with all the colons of the wind?
| 11 | 1,864.454545 | |
1662242078 | 1662355783 | t3_x55ww9 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Sauciicaramel: TIFU I'm Tylers girlfriend and i have something to say.
[removed]
jezus317410: There is no fuck up and no update. Just attention seeking. Your attempting to shame your boyfriend for useless internet points from stranger's.
Rum_n_Nuka: Searching for the name 'sauciicaramel' just brings up a low performing Onlyfans account.
Slurrpy01: Clout chasing hoes man, she's tryna cash in on tiktok too
Rum_n_Nuka: As far as I can tell, she's not related to the story at all.
Slurrpy01: I truly wonder what it's like to just make up shit for no reason at all
| 6 | 1.333333 | |
1662243455 | 1662244325 | t3_x56f0l | t5_2to41 | 3 | Alternative-Eye-7750: TIFU By trying to get back together with my ex girlfriend
To day I fucked up by trying to get back to together with my 25male ex girlfriend 24female. For a little bit of back story when me and my ex were, both 19 I slept with her mom48
My ex who I’ll call Jen walked in on me and her mom sleeping together I’ll call her mom Amy.I had went over Amy’s house while Jen was at work to hangout until she got out of work well me and Amy started talking eventually we started flirting ,and then slept together. Jen had walked in on us and all hell went lose she stared screaming and breaking things and throwing things at us while crying she called her mom a slut and a whore. That’s all I remember before she left and went nc.
Well about a month ago me and Amy broke up yes we stayed together she said that she found out from her sister that Jen had kids twin baby girls and wanted to try form bond with her grandkids and wanted to see her daughter. I didn’t even know Jen had kids and asked Amy if she knew who the dad was she told me I wasn’t going to like it,but after a bit of pestering she told me it was my cousin.
Tala 24 Female she’s trans mtf I did a lot of thinking and called Jen and asked her if could get coffee and talk she was hesitant at first but agreed I tried making small talk but she told me to hurry up and say what I had to say because she was busy so I told her how much I missed her and .How much I wanted to get back together she just laughed In my face and asked if I remember what I did I told her yes and told her I was sorry and feel like shit for it.For some reason I felt like there was hope and asked if we could get back together she told me no and said she had a family now that she was happy and to leave her alone.Before she left she told me to tell Amy to leave her the fuck alone and she wanted nothing to do with her and told me the same thing.
TL;DR TIFU by trying to get back together with me ex girlfriend
djn24: 
Alternative-Eye-7750: I promise this is real this whole situation is just a really big mess🫠
| 3 | 1 | |
1662232437 | 1662837142 | t3_x52bx9 | t5_2to41 | 84 | ForeverInBlackJeans: TIFU by eating the worlds spiciest tortilla chip
Last night I decided to do the Paqui One Chip Challenge. For those unaware, it’s basically just a tortilla chip coated in an insane amount of powder made of Carolina Reaper and Scorpion peppers. For an added twist, this year’s version turns your mouth blue.
The following is a journal of my experience:
I realize that some other people have written about their experience with the OCC and I truly wish I had read some of them prior to doing it myself last night. But alas, I am a dumbass.
I will qualify this post by giving some context for my spice tolerance. I LOVE spicy food. I LOVE fresh hot peppers. I have grown everything from jalapeños to cayenne peppers all the way up to ghosts and Carolina reapers. I have indulged in them all raw right off the stem, and cooked with them in excess.
The food I cook for myself on a near daily basis is too hot to serve to guests. I have to make a deliberate effort to reduce the level of spice I add if I have guests or no one can eat my food. I use Extra Hot Franks Red Hot as liberally as one would use ketchup.
I eat spicy food almost every day and have built up a tolerance much higher than anyone I know IRL for sure. I have a reputation amongst my friends and family for being “dead from the neck up” or having an “ass/stomach/mouth of steel”.
Ok. With that out of the way, let’s get to this chip.
I have eaten the Paqui ghost pepper chips many times and consider them to be reasonably mild. I expected the OCC to be a very intensified version of that. I was wrong. So wrong.
First of all, this thing tastes absolutely disgusting. Truly one of the worst tasting things I’ve ever eaten. The flavour alone is enough to make you puke (more on this later.) It tastes like poison. Maybe what I expect motor oil to taste like. Just awful.
The “heat” is a weird point to talk about because I didn’t actually find it to be hot at all. Excruciatingly painful? Yes. But the pain is nothing like the spicy sensation you get from hot sauce or chilli peppers. I wouldn’t call it spicy. It just felt like a horrible chemical burn in my throat and on the tip of my tongue. It’s what I imagine it would be like to drink gasoline. Extremely painful but not “spicy”. No gradual build. No hum or sting. No aromatic flavours. Just unbearable burning. Nothing pleasant about it in the least.
My bottom lip started quiver and my ear canals felt like they were punctured.
I initially reached for water which helped for a brief second as I swallowed but the pain instantly returned as soon as the water left my mouth. I then went for the (non-dairy) milk and wound up guzzling half a carton in seconds. After a minute or two the burning began to subside and was far more like something I would call “very spicy” but the immediate indigestion from the chip mixed with the large amount of milk was a recipe for disaster.
My immediate thought was to try to poop it out right away but while sitting on the toilet I started to burp. I grabbed the garbage can off the bathroom floor and violently vomited blue milk into it and on the floor. I projectile puked so hard I overshot the trash can.
The flavour of the chip coming back up was so disgusting that it caused me to puke even harder.
Then the stomach pain started. Usually when I think about cramps I think about my lower stomach area. But with this chip, the pain was in my upper abdomen and up between my ribs. In addition to being cramped, I had a strong cold burn in my abdomen that felt like the sensation caused by very strong mint gum. I got the chills and started chattering.
I should mention this all happened around 9:30PM. I had eaten a good hearty stir fry around 7:00 so my stomach was certainly not empty.
For the next two hours I continued to shake, chatter, shit, and burp that god awful flavour.
At 11:30PM I puked again. REALLY hard. Probably the hardest I’ve ever puked in my life. And out came my entire dinner with chunks of blue tortilla chip in it. Again the awful taste caused me to barf more while I was actively barfing. Barfing from the flavour of your barf is a truly unique and terrible experience I hope to never relive. Bringing the chip back up also reignited the burning in my throat and mouth to a level I absolutely did not want while already feeling so sick.
At 12:00 I dragged my sorry ass into the shower so exhausted I barely made it out. I literally puked out every ounce of my energy.
I crashed just after 1:00AM, still very nauseous and thinking I might puke again, and thankfully was able to sleep through the night without incident. I was terrified I was going to wake up and vomit everywhere or even shit my bed. Neither happened.
I woke up at 7:30 this morning with some mild lower cramps but generally feeling much better. When I pooped the cramps were relieved but to my surprise I was actually constipated probably because I’m dehydrated from puking so much.
Then came the ass burn. This is not the time to scroll on your phone while sitting on the toilet. Wipe and get it off your skin ASAP. The acid was burning not just my butthole but my butt cheeks and any other skin it contacted. I fully expected to find blood in the toilet, but thankfully there wasn’t any.
It’s now 9AM. Nearly 12 hours have passed. I feel a lot better but I know I’m not in the clear yet. I’m going to try to eat as bland as possible today and hope that I’m fully past this in the next few hours, but I can already feel another acidic poop brewing.
Basically, eating this chip is not a spicy experience. It is not an interesting test of your heat tolerance (as I hoped it would be). There are literally no good reasons to do it. It is just self induced food poisoning… or more accurately, capsaicin poisoning. Yes, that’s a real thing. Look it up. And I paid $9 to make myself sicker than I’ve ever been.
Be smarter than me. Don’t do the One Chip Challenge.
TLDR: I ate the worlds spiciest tortilla chip which turned out to be just self induced food poisoning. There is no novelty to it. 0/10 would not recommend.
5th_degree_burns: I did this too and did not have anywhere near this experience minus the b-hole scorching liquid poops. Bidet ftw.
cactus_deepthroater: Yeah, I did this 3 days ago. The spice was too much to handle, I drank two bags of milk, and ate five packs of rockets, then it was gone, that was the end of it. Although it did literally burn my face when the powder touched my cheek, but even that only hurt for about half an hour.
5th_degree_burns: I'm sorry, I'm not an everyday Redditor. Can you define what a bag of milk and a pack of rockets is? I am very curious.
I live in the US. I've only ever seen milk in cartons and plastic containers. Literally no idea about rockets.
cactus_deepthroater: Look up "rockets candy" they are powdery candies that come in a roll, they are pretty good. In the US they are called smarties.
And in canada we can buy jugs or cartons of milk, but the most common way to get milk is in a pack of three bags of milk. The bags are a long tube that you put directly into a reusable jug and snip off a corner of the bag to pour the milk.
5th_degree_burns: No kidding. Thanks for the info. TIL
| 6 | 14 | |
1662242838 | 1662269168 | t3_x566wq | t5_2to41 | 6 | Alternative-Eye-7750: TIFU By trying to get back together with my ex girlfriend
To day I fucked up by trying to get back to together with my 25male ex girlfriend 24female. For a little bit of back story when me and my ex were, both 19 I slept with her mom48
My ex who I’ll call Jen walked in on me and her mom sleeping together I’ll call her mom Amy.I had went over Amy’s house while Jen was at work to hangout until she got out of work well me and Amy started talking eventually we started flirting ,and then slept together. Jen had walked in on us and all hell went lose she stared screaming and breaking things and throwing things at us while crying she called her mom a slut and a whore. That’s all I remember before she left and went nc.
Well about a month ago me and Amy broke up yes we stayed together she said that she found out from her sister that Jen had kids twin baby girls and wanted to try form bond with her grandkids and wanted to see her daughter. I didn’t even know Jen had kids and asked Amy if she knew who the dad was she told me I wasn’t going to like it,but after a bit of pestering she told me it was my cousin.
Tala 24 Female she’s trans mtf I did a lot of thinking and called Jen and asked her if could get coffee and talk she was hesitant at first but agreed I tried making small talk but she told me to hurry up and say what I had to say because she was busy so I told her how much I missed her and .How much I wanted to get back together she just laughed In my face and asked if I remember what I did I told her yes and told her I was sorry and feel like shit for it.For some reason I felt like there was hope and asked if we could get back together she told me no and said she had a family now that she was happy and to leave her alone.Before she left she told me to tell Amy to leave her the fuck alone and she wanted nothing to do with her and told me the same thing.
So that’s how I fucked up today someone plz tell me how to un fuck my fuck up because I really do miss her and just want a second chance. TL;DR
jlenko: Dude.. move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
dsk_daniel: And all those fish have moms
jlenko: Maybe he should NOT fuck the mom. Just sayin’
dsk_daniel: Obvs this guy’s MO is fucking MOMS
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1662245069 | 1662245347 | t3_x5707u | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying something out I saw on r/funny with the wife
[deleted]
[deleted]: Your first mistake was browsing r/funny
nightwalkerxx: Nothing is funny on r/funny. I always knew but this, this right here, proved it.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1662246529 | 1662249385 | t3_x57jab | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU By breaking up with my partner while still loving them.
[deleted]
Educational-Glass-63: What's to love about him? He cheated on you, not once but twice and that's what you know for sure. He begs forgiveness, you give it to him, he moves you to a new city and he decides you bore him so he moves back home to mommy and daddy's. He doesn't sound like he cared too much about losing the baby either. So I feel bad for you but you need to understand that you need to take it one day at a time until you find out that you are worth being loved, him not so much.
[deleted]: To be honest, I think I just love the person that he was at the start, the one I could trust and count on, I guess I kept waiting for him to change to the way he was. You are right, it may be hard to move on but I can’t continue trusting someone who doesn’t deserve it. Plus you are right, when I lost the baby he didn’t cared at all, he said he was sorry and left it there, no comforting of emotional support after it
Educational-Glass-63: Well I am sorry for the pain that loss caused you. And I know this is easy for me to say and hard for you to do but please have faith in you and day by day it will get easier. Make some new friends, put on your makeup even if you are staying home and find joy in the little things. Best of luck to you and know that at the end of the day, this is his loss, not yours🧡
[deleted]: I used to draw and write a lot, I think I will get back into it… and I still believe the little soul of my baby is somewhere waiting for me again and for that I will do my best to have a better live ❤️
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1662249952 | 1662280505 | t3_x58qd6 | t5_2to41 | 27 | KlutzyLavishness8325: TIFU by thinking I was safe to jerk off
Okay before I get into this I’d just like to say this is not one of my finer moments. Anyways, it was the middle of the afternoon and my family was wanting to go out to eat Mexican food for dinner. While I (18M), wasn’t feeling it because a: I was tired, b; I wanted some alone time, and c; I wanted a specific type of alone time. Long story short, my family tried and failed to get me to join them and they left.
As soon as they left I hopped straight on my laptop and decided to work on prepping some mods for my friends and my’s realm in Minecraft that we’re starting later tonight. Well, some time passed and some more, and after picking out several good looking mods (yes we’re playing bedrock edition don’t judge us), I decided it was time to engage in my other type of “alone time.” Well I’m not gonna go into detail for obvious reasons, but let’s just say I was petting the snake for a decent amount of time while sitting on a bench just right of the hall way to my room and left of the dining room. It was going great, and I was almost done when I thought I heard a car door slam, so I looked outside really quick, didn’t see the car my family took, and then decided to go back at it. Well obviously I didn’t look hard enough because just as I finished I heard the side door open and my family start to walk in. Panicking, I reached to grab my lube and dart into my room butt-ass naked and did until I got there and realized it was a sweater, so I hurried back to the bench and snatched the lube and went to my room again, sadly leaving my mom, dad, and brother to notice me running off naked while my clothes were left on the floor. I wish the story ended there, but, my family having easily deciphered what I had done, started singing some shit along the lines of “playing with my ding-a-ling” until I locked myself in the bathroom. With nothing else to do, I just started blasting “Heat of the Moment” by Asia well I got in the shower knowing my brother had probably already told our groupchat everything. Oh well, as embarrassing as it was, I’d rather get caught jerking off then have to explain why there was lube in the dining room.
TL;DR- got caught jerking off just shy of being in the dining room.
AcrobaticSource3: Just own it, dude. Anytime you leave the room, you should say, “I gotta go jerk off, I’ll be right back”
KlutzyLavishness8325: I think I’m gonna try that from here on 😂
Mode-Klutzy: “Ima go sing to a snake” or “ima go coax a cobra”
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1662243369 | 1662340964 | t3_x56dwr | t5_2to41 | 135 | ThrowThisAway6272849: TIFU by getting into a car accident
Hello!
You are looking at the first person to crash a new RAV4 XLE Hybrid (awd) 3 months into driving it. It was front end damage only but engine is still good, shop said it’ll take 8 weeks or longer bc of part shipment and repair. Miles were around 2200. No one was injured.
To say I’m disappointed in myself is to say the least, I made a bad u turn in a neighborhood and ran into the side of a construction truck that was driving nearby (only had a scratch and a punctured tire). It feels so bad bc I had a feeling that I shouldn’t do it in the moment but I went against my gut and thought I was confident.
That’s all I will be saying about the accident details bc I am grieving and I just feel like such a moron for doing a preventable mistake. I can’t get over my shame and it just feels bad knowing I crashed my first car 3 months in getting it. I’ve been driving for like 6 years and this is my first accident and it pains me that my new car is in the shop.
Any advice on how to move forward? Or any stories to help me feel better about my mistake lol
tldr: i got into a car accident 3 months into having a car, grieving hella rn haha
perrytheply: I got into an accident 3 years ago about 5 months into driving, it’s gone, I’ve been paying for something I haven’t had for 3 years. You still have yours, consider yourself lucky. I still have another 2 years of paying it, been using the trains and Uber to get to work, spend roughly around $70 a trip if I decide Uber to work and back.
MasterSoda360: Were you driving uninsured or something?
ldrrp: Prolly no gap insurance
MasterSoda360: That's some serious depreciation for 5 months of ownership.
ldrrp: Most of the depreciation happens the moment you drive off a lot. (Precovid). Nowadays u drive off the lot and sell it for double msrp if it wasn't marked up
| 6 | 22.5 | |
1662249356 | 1662442996 | t3_x58j0a | t5_2to41 | 404 | Diversityismydrug: TIFU for ghosting my friend group for nearly three years and finally realizing they miss me
Today, I got a voicemail.
I move a lot. My parents aren’t even in the military, but they can’t seem to stay in one place for too long due to one random excuse or another. I am also a hyperactive, impulsive, self-destructive individual—haha!
This has led me to have something called separation anxiety about any and all friendships. (I’m basically that new puppy who will pee on the bed because I don’t want to get out of sight.)
The term “third wheel” doesn’t begin to describe the type of isolation I feel when my brain decides to take any perceived reaction as a negative one. Any slight pinch in emotion, lack of eye contact, casual sigh, or unenthused smile keeps me up. But about this, I tend to internalize my issues so people don’t think I’m clingy or overly annoying.
So as most of my friendships go, I make friends, see they are closer friends with other people, start to get anxious, and self-destruct in time for me to move again and start fresh.
Well, come middle school I start to develop a new friend group again. This was the start of 7th grade and the school I went to integrated schools from other districts, so generally people didn’t know each other either. This was good for me since it became a big orgy-fest of interactions. It wasn’t until 8th grade that my closest friend group started to take off.
These people became my closest friends in life. Most of us shared a science class together and the other people I was close to shared similar friends and classes with me.
Freshmen year, we had multiple clubs together, hung out almost daily every morning and afternoon, and established our “goblin group” after starting DnD together. We were tight, but more and more people joined our group and that’s when the anxiety started creeping up again.
Come pandemic, we communicated exclusively through instagram and had a group chat to keep each other company. But that’s when my anxiety started to creep up to newer levels.
I had no classes with them. Clubs were cancelled due to covid, and we couldn’t hang out in the mornings anymore due to new standards. I was swamped with homework, and our group just got bigger and bigger.
I would cry myself to sleep thinking I was an expendable unit and had multiple thoughts of unaliving myself and even tried with a hairdryer cord.
During this time, my sibling was also feeling depression due to grades and made an attempt to “run away”. School got involved and my parents said we have to move back to a state I lived in before. They made multiple excuses but none of them were good.
We pack up. I ghost everybody on instagram. Leave the middle of sophomore year to rural-ass Tennessee and accidentally make friends with the one person everyone at the school hated.
I had no one else. Spoke to no one the rest of sophomore year and half of junior year. Wore a mask even though no one there “believed” in masks or COVID. Everyone knew each other already. I was physically and mentally isolated from everyone because I thought I was hated.
Around junior year, I joined theatre and finally made some friends again. And senior year, I now have a couple friends I can talk to consistently.
Present day, I’m in a better place. I get a voicemail today from an unknown number and what do you know, it’s my old friend.
I was never kicked out of the goblin group chat in these three years. People still try to contact me on instagram. They did miss me. I missed them.
I screwed up, and now I want to talk to them again. I don’t want to be alone again.
Tl;dr
got major anxiety and thought I was hated/too boring so I ghosted my closest people. Turns out they still think about me three years later.
CozyBlueCacaoFire: If you're male, get screened for adhd.
laziestbanana: > if you’re male
??
Definitely seconded, I have ADHD and relate heavily
CozyBlueCacaoFire: Female adhd manifests differently than male adhd. OP is likely male and has adhd with congenital factors.
Edit: I love how I get downvoted when I literally have congenital adhd, have done a fuckton of research and see it every day.
laziestbanana: It \*tends\* to manifest differently, but not necessarily. If someone is showing/feeling symptoms of possible ADHD, they should probably get tested. Sex should have nothing to do with that.
CozyBlueCacaoFire: There's a reason males get diagnosed at a higher rate. Go read up on that.
RealSlimSpoder: Doesn't mean that OP shouldnt get tested if they turn out to be female.
CozyBlueCacaoFire: I'm not saying that. I'm saying OP is exhibiting classic signs of adhd found in males and should be tested.
Women tend to exhibit different signs, which is why they get left behind.
laziestbanana: Oh, the irony
| 9 | 44.888889 | |
1662251962 | 1666168992 | t3_x59exl | t5_2to41 | 9 | Medical_Mix6379: TIFU by inviting my dad to a get a drink
So i won't make this long.
Today my brother got invited to a dinner with our mutual friends so he told me to come with him even though they didn't invite me or anything ( apparently they told him to bring me). We were having dinner at my friend's house and like 2 hours later my dad was in the area so he came to "check on us" so i told him to come take a drink not thinking he'd stay. Anyway, he was drinking and talking and he started saying some annoying disrespectful stuff about women when there was a girl with us. Even if there wasn't any girls what he said was kinda offensive to me. Talking about women's bodies in a bad way and my friends agreeing to it made me mad and i started shaking i don't know why. So i told my brother to give me the bike's keys to go home and told him to go with our dad and he refused. I told my dad to take me home with his care and he refused cause "he was having time and didn't want my permission to stay" and when i told him that he shouldn't be talking about women in that way he said "it's over 12 am everything is allowed" as a joke so i kept going and he got mad and said "uh excuse me you didn't give me the papers of what i am allowed to say and what i am not allowed to say" so i got furious but i didn't say anything else. I grabbed my stuff and then my friend offered to give me a ride home. And here i am typing this at 3:37 am.
I don't like my dad anymore, it's not the first offensive racist thing he says. And i feel like shit for just being his son and for having those asshole friends.
TL;DR
negocpu4: You sure are fun at parties.
Medical_Mix6379: Lmao , I'm everything but fun.
negocpu4: Yes it's quite noticeable.
Medical_Mix6379: Thanks for the insult!!
negocpu4: You welcome. Too bad it probably won't help you.
Medical_Mix6379: It won't for sure.
ruff12hndl: I think what he's trying to say is let it go dude. Also move out. You and your dad's relationship is obviously strained but that dude raised you and you won't truly know how much he loves you until you have one of your own. If you move out and man up he'll have a new found respect for you and probably respect your opinions more. Right now you're both probably at the end of each other's rope, proverbially speaking. I know I was with my dad at 19, pretty common I'd say. So between your brother fucking next to you and your dad being a prick, it's time to step out into the world brotha.
Medical_Mix6379: Well since you mentioned it I'm moving out in the end of the month, and i am 19 too which is similar to your story.
| 9 | 1 | |
1662253244 | 1662256675 | t3_x59ukg | t5_2to41 | 9 | all-that-went-unsaid: TIFU by ruining a friendship because I didn’t talk to them over the summer
My friend contacted me yesterday with the infamous “can we talk” message. So for about 3 hours on a phone call they talked about how much I hurt them by ghosting them throughout the summer and giving them dry responses when I did respond. To give perspective into the type of person I am, I value time alone maybe more than I should; I’m very comfortable with it and I enjoy doing my own thing. The reason I didn’t talk to this person (and many other people) over the summer was truthfully because I did not feel like it. It’s shitty but friendships are not as high on my list of priorities as it is on some other people’s list. I also just hate texting and calling. And it was summer, I wanted to try to do as much as I could by myself before school started again. (Just wanted to say none of these are excuses for my behavior, just explanations into who i am)
Anyways I started not responding to people’s texts literally right when school ended. To this one friend specifically, I didn’t respond to some messages for, at most, like 3 weeks (I was not singling them out of all my other friends. Except the one time they asked abt my AP score and I just didn’t want to talk abt it and left them on delivered for 2 weeks, only to respond w “mid”. yeah that was immature and stupid). They expressed that they wanted to talk and tbh I just didn’t respond. Which I fully take as me being shitty, I know lol. I could’ve done it and I chose not to, and it was really fucked up that I didn’t try harder.
What really took me aback was how much it affected my friend. When I don’t respond to someone for a little bit usually they get the sense that I don’t really want to talk (which is how I would feel if someone didn’t respond to me for a while). So i was really surprised when they told me that they cried multiple times over this and it contributed to them having a really shitty summer. This situation also contributed to them getting closer to one of our mutual friends solely because they vented to said mutual friend about me, and they helped them thru that. The mutual friend now doesn’t think very highly of me anymore. Overall, the call was very much them going through every single interaction we had during the summer (thru our texts, when we saw each other at summer parties) and explaining how it made them feel and how much they overthought it all. I was fully in the wrong, and at some point in the summer I realized (before the phone call) that I needed to apologize to this person, but the apology never got written. I think a lot about what the would’ve changed if i just wrote the damn apology when I should’ve (or better yet, just tried to be a better friend). I shouldn’t have let them be the one to reach out first, though, I should’ve done something sooner and apologized. When I explained why I didn’t respond for a long time, my friend admitted to it being disappointing because they so badly wanted it to be a more valid and noble excuse. I was/am disappointed in myself too.
Some other things that they said that surprised me was how deep they’d get into describing how much I hurt them, like they said they saw a tiktok that was like one of those advice things that said smth along the lines of “if they wanted to text you back they would’ve”, and that made them cry. And then they listened to a song that made them cry about us. It got deeper than that, can’t remember all the details. Another thing they said was that every time they’d try to not text me they would eventually cave and do it anyways and be mad at themselves that they did that. Once they got to like a breaking point it sounded like, they also made one of those Focus modes on their phone solely so that if anyone (specifically me) wanted to talk to them then they just wouldn’t b able to get thru to them.
While on the call they sent me the text they wanted to send to me back then after ghosting me for a bit, but decided not to send it:
“I’m so sorry I’ve been ghosting you I can’t express how I feel very well and knowing that we’re on unstable ground and not on the best of terms really hurts me and I don’t want it to continue like this I hate not being able to talk to you for fear of getting hurt”.
I wish they sent it because I truly didn’t fuckin realize how much I hurt this person until that call, and it was just too late already.
We’d originally gotten close back in December/January, and they said that they’d considered me more than a friend (not romantically) at that point and that rattled me because I just didn’t see us as close of friends to the extent they did. They said I was the one person they felt that was truly like them and could fully be themselves around, or something similar. And i just didnt realize i meant that much to this person. I feel awful and I apologized for my behavior on the call.
Before the call ended they said they hoped I’d cry a little over this and basically just do some retrospection and never do this to someone again. But what kind of broke me was how that even with the hell I unknowingly put them through, they just could not say I was a bad person. That really fucked me up.
Towards the end of the phone call with what I suppose is now an ex-friend, i proposed that I wouldn’t initiate a conversation during school or over text until they wanted to talk to me, so they kind of had the power of whether or not we would continue a friendship. They agreed. We have most classes together this coming semester so that should be a fun situation to be in.
There’s a lot im leaving out from that call/our history but that’s the gist of it. I’m glad they called me out on my actions, i deserved it and I should’ve been awhile ago. After the call I texted my best friend (someone else who I always have a hard time responding to quickly) and basically apologized for being a shit head of a friend by not responding well/quickly.
I’m going to try to be a better friend for others in the future. I know I have serious communication issues. I really fucked this one up. Anyone have advice for being better at communicating? Or anyone ever fuck up this bad before?
TL;DR: I ghosted my friend over the summer and was dry when i did respond, we talked on the phone yesterday and they called me out on how much my behavior hurt them, to which I didn’t realize the extent of until then.
TileTone: I have issues with object permanace, which also effects other things like me remember to talk to people. And it has the same effect as what you're describing.
Unless someone reaches out to me first I am quite known among my friends to just not talk to them for sometimes months on end. I know they exist but without some reminder I just don't update people of things. I also don't have any social media, just a phone and discord.
The biggest thing for finding friends wether you just enjoy alone time or you simply can't remember to keep in touch is to befriend people who are OK with this, or do the same things regarding contact with people. Which to be honest, is harder to do when those people also are reclusive hermits.
all-that-went-unsaid: Thanks for this. The best friend that i mentioned in the post is a lot more understanding of me not responding to msgs (whether I forget to or am just not in the mood to chat), so I hadn’t rly been confronted like this before.
TileTone: How busy your day is heavily effects that too Imagine, it does with me,
It's good you have at least 1 understanding friend.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1662256504 | 1662257385 | t3_x5axfq | t5_2to41 | 25 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Episode #59!🥳 Come share your stories and have fun! Also, JC is married. ❤️🦋🥰
manda-mayhem: Wait but isn’t this talk about how “today I fucked up” ?
JC1812: That and stories in general and just chatting.
manda-mayhem: Okay okay the success story threw me off haha
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1662256101 | 1662345595 | t3_x5aslo | t5_2to41 | 58 | nice_skeleton: TIFU by almost getting trafficked in LA
I'm sorry in advance for all the Grammar errors.
3 years ago I ended up in LA on meth, (I'm sober now, no worries) I was with my sister staying in a 1 star motel after pulling an insurance scam that paid us $1,200 each. We stayed up all night giving ourselves stick and poke tattoos and trying to find more drugs. Around 6 30am I went outside to smoke a cigarette and as I'm sitting outside this old lady comes outside and starts talking to me. She invited me back to her motel room to do meth and I'm like HELL YEAH BRO, so we go to her room and we're doing drugs and talking, shes an escort. Now let me tell you this lady looked ROUGH. She told me she charged $60 a date. She asks me if I want to go to the casino and offered to pay for me to play (which was sus already because shes an escort who charges $60 a date but im on drugs and have been awake for awhile so i didnt even think about it.) and I'm like.. idk man, I'm enjoying the drugs. Shes quiet for a few minutes, and she's like ya know you're really tall, you look like you could beat someone up. And I'm like yeah you know it dude. So she says well. This bitch stole my dog! You want to help me get it back?? And I'm instantly like YES, I didn't even ask to see the dog or anything, I was just like YASSS DOG. So we go out to her car, and its a NICE car. Way too nice for her. And I'm getting in the car when my sister calls me to tell me they found more drugs at another motel so were checking out of this one, so I didn't go with her. I only realized later that she was about to sell my ass. Literally.
Tl;Dr Almost fell for the dog line while on a bender in LA
possiblyaneggthrow: This isnt ur fault, and is actually against one of the rules, as is isnt your fault
nice_skeleton: I mean it really is though, I went to LA to do drugs.. I know what sort of stuff goes on in LA
| 3 | 19.333333 | |
1662257069 | 1662264677 | t3_x5b45g | t5_2to41 | 23 | Meghy44: TIFU: getting in a fight with a girl on reddit
Ok so this girl posted about the viral post that had girls nipples poking through their shirts and basically she was mad. Any man that replied she would reply “oink” or pig emojis at them. I started standing up for the men in the comments (who btw weren’t doing anything wrong except sharing their opinions) and she started getting mad at me and started sending me pig emojis. So I in turn called her a bitch (a female dog, yes I know I can’t do that but still bear with me) and she reported every comment I replied with. So now I am currently banned from the subreddit in which the fight happened. ALSO she has been reporting posts I’m posting in other threads! I posted in a gaming thread and she got it deleted! Now I would understand this in some ways I was being rude but after some stalking I discovered this girl is extremely transphobic and has called people ugly on reddit. So not only has she been reporting my account no matter what I do but she is not a good person on top of it. She’s almost gotten my account banned at this point and I don’t know what to do because it’s not even my fault and I’m gonna get banned because this girl hates me! I just tried blocking her account after getting all the evidence I needed to hopefully get her account banned and now I can’t block her account which scares me because she’s definitely gonna get me banned. Over calling her a bitch. That’s all I said. Whilst she’s said transphobic comments, called people ugly, AND insulted me. I have all the evidence if you don’t believe me not that it really matters this is just me being a whiny girl but it’s really annoying.
TL;DR: A girl got mad at me on her post and is now trying to ruin my reddit life by constantly reporting everything I do.
MadRollinS: Piss off a mod who thinks their shit doesn't stink and see how that goes. Lol.
Get a new account. It's just Reddit.
Meghy44: to be completely honest i just wanted to out her to a ton of people because it’s pissing me off. i’ll get a new account if so be it.
MadRollinS: Well post the user name here and we can all report her. Lol
Meghy44: if she does more things to me i will but rn i’m just gonna leave it cause i’m the bigger person 🤷🏼♀️
MadRollinS: Taking abuse and letting the bully win doesn't make anyone "bigger". But it's just Reddit, so, whatever. They're already the smaller person for caring so much about online nonsense. (assuming this is a true story, which it may be, or not. I don't care either way.)
This is my 4th or 5th reddit account and I didn't ever post anything with one of them. I just wanted the user name to be mine. :-)
Meghy44: exactly it’s just reddit. i can make a new account, i care too much about social media anyway. she’s just a bad person and i’m not gonna resort to the same actions she did anymore, it’s gotten me in enough trouble.
MadRollinS: It's a shame that there are so many people who only have a social life on line and/or take out real life damage on anonymous strangers instead of getting help.
Meghy44: i mean it’s one thing to report me for calling her a bitch but reporting my post in another thread so that gets deleted is honestly upsetting.
| 9 | 2.555556 | |
1662253390 | 1670660555 | t3_x59wf1 | t5_2to41 | 15 | RavishingRed07: TIFU by also reading the TIFU by playing the same song for 2 years during sex with my gf post...
I have no idea how to add the screenshot here or how to link the TIFU, but I'm sure most of you know what I am talking about by now. Honestly I want going to post without adding that stuff, but slept on it and figured why not just post it. There are spoilers in this post. So I read the TIFU post the day it was posted. Multiple fucks ups followed... I'm F 33 btw.
1. I was laughing so hard I was crying and my stepkids asked dad to check on me because they were worried.
2. I didn't tell him then what was so funny and decided to text him, "Come perform the Hudson Mohawke on my satin panther" followed by the fire wink kiss face. (Thanks to one of the commenters) Eventually he came back in the bedroom and I asked him if he received the text. He hadn't.... Because I sent it to my brother on accident! He hasn't responded back. He also knows my husband and I have a very open sex life and is definitely too scared to ask about it.
3. I had to know what the possible rhythm to this song could be, so I decided to allow my husband to try sexy time. I say it like that because, I just popped out a baby less than 3 weeks ago. Terrible idea, but I had to know if it would be as funny as I imagined. The jury is still out on that one.
TL;DR TIFU led to multiple bad ideas. At least I wasn't in more pain than his girlfriend of 2 years.
oats_and_cakes: Waiting for the results :)
RavishingRed07: We had a family get together and I read both my brothers the original post... After many beers of course... My husband and brothers started dancing to the song trying to figure out the rhythm which was way too much of a visual... My family drinks too much and are fucking weird haha
| 3 | 5 | |
1662260660 | 1662262323 | t3_x5caig | t5_2to41 | 5 | Burnt_boiy: TIFU by trying to call my mom.
So earlier I was trying to call my mom who lives across the country from me. But I had her old number still on my phone and I didn't realize it. So I went to call her but it was my mom's old number and so I hung up as soon as I realized and no one answered. I called my mom's current number. But like 15 minutes ago I was watching TV and my phone started ringing and it was my mom's old number and so naturally I panicked and declined really fast. Then after that I blocked and deleted the number cause I was super embarrassed and am still super embarrassed. I have never declined a call that fast. A normal person probably would've answered and explained everything but I'm not normal so like yeah I'm dumb. I've never been so embarrassed in my life to be honest. I'm now listening to music and trying to get over the embarrassment of the whole situation. I'm almost a grown man but I apparently don't know my own mother's phone number lol. TL;DR
AcrobaticSource3: “TIFU I declined a chance to let the universe’s randomness lead me to a new friend”
Burnt_boiy: Lmao
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1662262929 | 1662301649 | t3_x5d0l4 | t5_2to41 | 668 | shameless-3: TIFU by being a ho (again)
Well, this was awkward. My 33 year old sel(f) has given up on finding true love and I'm enjoying the best of the worst of tinder both in confession and conversation. The city I live in is definitely filled with single women and most of the single guys are just tools who flex and then simp and meaningful relationships seem like an allergy that a few people disclose from time to time but otherwise isn't even part of the process. In my process, friends with benefits is the term, or maybe it's just fuck buddy, er something even less formal than that, depending on the guy.
So it is without shame I must report my latest FU resulting from being a ho. I matched with a guy on tinder. We waste little time discussing how not into serious relationships we are and how free we are last night after we're done being not free.
In retrospect, there's one thing he did that hit my subconscious but at the moment it didn't even surface in my conscious mind, and that was he called me K (my name starts with K, obviously, okay). People called me K in college. Like 10 years ago. It's like once a year somebody calls me K now.
So we meet up and it's dark and hot and I'm like this is terrible let's get into air conditioning, he offers his apartment and 20 minutes later we're making out. In the middle of being pushed against his wall he says "I've thought about you so many times, I wondered if we would ever meet again"
HOLY SHIT. I FUCKED THIS GUY IN COLLEGE. TWICE.
I literally felt like everything I knew about life was boiled like heroin and injected into my veins and I got this insane chill unlike anything I've ever felt before. I stepped back uncontrollably and got a better look at his face and yelled "HO LEE SHIT" and covered my mouth while trying to... "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING???" and he was like, "oh I... thought you... wait you don't remember me?"
I explained that I was crazy and took a sleeping pill the night before and this just did not connect in my brain.
I'm a proud ho if you couldn't tell. But there comes a time in every ho's life that even they feel like maybe they are too much of a ho for their own low expectations of themselves and I think completely forgetting somebody to the point that you don't have any memory of them anymore, is one such moment.
The consequence of being a forgetful ho seems to be that we're going to meet up again tomorrow and laugh some more about it.
Tl;dr Met a guy from tinder who I actually hooked up with in college but I completely forgot that I ever met him, until he reminded me.
PM_ur_Rump: Invite me to the wedding.
unsung_hero88: lol him marrying her would be the dumbest decision he's ever made in his life. He better not
Sigmud_Freund: There are relationships that involve mutually consensual ho-ing around with others. Even marriages. So it might just be the perfect arrangement for OP, if it works with said dude. This in turn is a bit unlikely, given how fragile we men usually are with stuff like this, I'd say.
ZipMap: "there are" stop the cap, these never work out
elpajaroquemamais: They do.
patticus: No, it never does. I mean, these people somehow delude themselves into thinking it might, but... but it might work for us!
elpajaroquemamais: Nope. It actually works for some folks.
thehatter6453: I know a couple who have been together for ten years, married now, who have always done it. They're very happy. Apologies if that contradicts your peer reviewed research
elpajaroquemamais: I think we agree? I’m saying it can work.
thehatter6453: I responded to the wrong comment because I am a massive fucking idiot
| 11 | 60.727273 | |
1662262218 | 1662329905 | t3_x5csdh | t5_2to41 | 43 | DemonKnight83: TIFU: Just do it yourself
So I´m moving in with my mother in law after after getting kicked out of my apartment (owner wants to sell). The housing situation where I live is really bad. NOTHING is available unless you´re willing to auction body parts. To add insult to injury, I´ve been up to my ass at work (mostly cleaning up other people´s shit messes that need to be cleared so I can do my own work) and got backed up against a wall in terms of moving out (we´re talking 80-90+ work weeks for a few months now so it´s been a real struggle and the teaching term has started). So my gf and I hired a "cleaning service" to come in and take care of wiping down walls, floor boards, windows, and such so I could return the apartment in pristine shape. For once, we´ve decided to externalize a task or two because we just can´t handle things at the moment (it´s been a rough few months). This is rare as we usually just do these things ourselves. We´re not rich and we really prefer to do things ourselves. But we decided to suck it up.
Ultimately, we hired a "cleaning service" in our area. I estimated time for a cleaner to do what was left at 4-5 manhours. We specified that certain things did NOT need to be done (ie the oven, the refrigerator, etc) as we had already done some things or had made other arrangements. This was clearly communicated. Now, despite being a professional with a #fancy\_ass\_degree, I´ve done clearing jobs since university. I don´t mind cleaning. I don´t mind shoveling shit. I have nothing but respect for folks working the service sector. We just as simply ran out of time and all we really wanted to do was leave the apartment in better shape than I found it (owner didn't give us a clean apartment when we moved in a few years back. And she just had a baby so I thought it would be a nice gesture so she can sell this place at the top of the market and not have to worry).
Turns out, the "company" that my gf and I hired was totally incompetent. They screwed us around on scheduling (Red flag #1) and when they finally showed up late, they jerked around for a few hours and had a grand time by the looks of it. They left the job site at some point and when we stopped by to check on the progress after work, we found our apartment in a bit of state of CHAOS, no one around, bottles of alcohol all over the place, and music blaring! They even took the spare key from the lock box (WTF? Why?). We contacted them and they agreed to come back and not consume more alcohol and keep the noise down as our upstairs neighbor has a sick infant. So we left to deal with other moving-related-errands. They returned (with even MORE alcohol according to our neighbors), broke a light in the bathroom, spread glass ALL over the apartment some how (literally. In the kitchen sink. The kids room. the living room. The entry way. I even cut myself while cleaning up their glass mess), called us and tried to blame their mistake on us (the light was too loose! even though it´s a bitch to remove!). My gf stayed calm and was 100% reasonable and kind (she´s a saint). They freaked out when she asked them if they were insured for damages and they basically just said "f you", packed up and left. They told us to just keep our money. I guess that answer the insurance questions.
A few hours go by and the "CEO" of the company then proceeded to shit post about my gf on Facebook for being an "unreasonable b1tch" and that he gave his employees "permission" to drink on the job (in OUR apartment) so what´s the big deal? (WTF?!) After getting hate from un-involved persons, he deletes the post and then blocks my gf (who has been nothing but polite and understanding).
Fast forward 12 hours and we´re back at the apartment to try to salvage the situation. I dumped about 14 hours into re-doing substandard work and mitigating any damaged while my gf went to work on a Saturday to play catchup. Turns out the broken light is discontinued but this turns out to be the least of my problems... the chemicals left on the stove top and some other surfaces from them just "up and leaving" left permanent damage that we´re now on the hook for that.
Stove top: ruined.
Kitchen counters: ruined.
Stainless steel ventilation hood over stove top: ruined.
Bathroom light: still broken.
Window blinds in the living room: destroyed. (HOW!?! How did you do this?!)
Fridge: cleaned spotless (#impressed although we said NOT to do this. We´re tossing this 25 year old fridge!)
Total damage: north of $5000.
​
So there goes my security deposit ... and about two months of salary on top of that. And the apartment needs to be ready by Monday morning. Great.
So after spending 10 hours frantically trying to unscrew the situation, I go to message the guy on Facebook and it turns out that I´m blocked too! (without even having a single bit of correspondence!). So I sent him a series of six SMSs just after midnight (he had previously communicated around this hour so why not?!) outlining a number of professional conduct, health and safety, and general "people skills" critiques. I told him that we need to know what chemicals he used to used to mess up our stove top and an email address where I can correspond with an attorney in CC.
I´ll spend the better part of tomorrow (Sunday) trying to repair the damage which will cost me a few days of displaced work next week. Good thing that as an academic my time is worth ALMOST nothing. #NOT\_BITTER #top\_talent
​
TL;DR Life lesson: don´t admit your overwhelmed and hire a service (not matter how basic the task). Just burn yourself out and DIY. It´s cheaper. It´s less hassle. And it will probably get done properly and you won´t have to pay 10X (or more) in terms of damages.
(Also, as a GenX'er, I know how the post office works. You won´t be able to hide from a certified letter so easily. And I´m sure my lawyer will also be pretty damn persistent as well.)
Edited for a number of spelling and grammatical errors. I was tired AF when I wrote this up.
Whitestride: Yeah I'd be the dickhead who brings that shit to court, fuck that, the service was not done and to make matters worse shit broke cause of it, also drinking and driving??? Da fuck.
Benjito_Radix: Maybe there was a designated driver (which I doubt) but is it even legal to drink alcool on someone else's property even without their accord? Since it is not in public? I feel like it should not be allowed but I also feel like it's a grey area.
thebearinboulder: NAL but this should be common sense. The boss may be an idiot and claim he doesn’t care but when they’re on your property then you have the final word. Disregarding this can be pretty expensive for the client, e.g. if they smoked and broke a non-smoking clause in the lease.
As for not caring if his employees drink on the job… no. They’re doing manual labor, using potentially harmful chemicals, and driving to and from worksites. There’s liability issues with all of that and accepting alcohol or drug use would make it infinitely worse. Hell, that may be why you got the impression that he doesn’t have business insurance - companies won’t get near him because of the high risk.
Benjito_Radix: Thanks for the reply. I totally agree, this is wrong on so many levels. This is why wanted to know the weight of these actions, legally.
This guys is a work of art. You pay to have someone else have a party in your home and thrash the place, basically.
I really hope OP is able to have something good come out of it, that boss and employees need to be held accountable. And that is even without mentioning his try to shame the customer on social media...
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1662266353 | 1662272878 | t3_x5e2v7 | t5_2to41 | 6 | radman180: TIFU by speeding on public roads
Today I fucked up within 30 seconds of sitting down in the driver's seat of my new friend's Honda Civic Type R.
I'm a car enthusiast, and with that, I luckily get to meet people with some pretty cool cars, and even sometimes they let me drive their cool cars. Today was one of those days for me. We started by driving around town, he warmed up his car a bit and showed me some of what one of the newer Civic Type R's could do. Then he pulled into a gas station and basically told me to sit down into the driver's seat and drive it back home.
I was ecstatic to try out one of the cars some dealers wouldn't even let me test drive, so after about 10 seconds of getting to know the clutch and the car, I pulled out onto a quiet side street (with no traffic, and TONS of forward and side visibility) and put my foot down. Screeched through 1st gear, into second, into third, and as I was approaching the top of 4th gear, I see an unmarked Ford Explorer light me up.
To preface this I should say I'm generally a great and safe driver. I never do ridiculous speeds on public roads. I save that for the track and autocross events where it's safer and sanctioned.
That being said, within about 30 seconds of sitting down in the driver's seat, red and blue lights were on behind me, triple digits on the dashboard, my heart was pounding, my foot hit the brakes, and I had ultimately accepted that it was possible I was losing my license today.
I looked at my friend in the passenger seat and I told him I was gonna pull over. I looked in the rear view mirror after getting back down to the speed limit and didn't see lights anymore. I didn't even see the cop or any cars at all. I kept slowing to pull aside (I wasn't going to double fuck up by running), but still no cop. Hmmm... I kept following the GPS for a few miles under the speed limit for about 5 more minutes and nobody caught up to me. No Ford Explorer, no lights, nobody pulling me over. I don't even know how I dodged that bullet. I really didn't deserve to. It would have served me right to have faced my consequences.
Anyways, I'm realizing I could have fucked up way worse if I had lost control or hit someone. I'm just glad my story wasn't worse today and in the future, if this wasn't the world's way of telling me to keep it on the racetrack, I'm not sure what is.
TL;DR I drove too fast 30 seconds into a test drive, cop saw me, let me go, I realized I shouldn't ever do that again.
jjwslot: Just remember this, you can't outrun the radio.
radman180: I was NEVER EVER going to run.
jjwslot: Last ticket 92 in a 65 in my 09 VW GTI traveling to meet my girlfriend at the time. It was worth it. I am in a Corvette C6, now. But, I am older and better behaved, now.😉
radman180: Oh nice! Which C6? I'm thinking about a C6 Z06 with the LS7 as a project car to get into LS engines. What are the pros/cons you've felt with your C6? Have you had any issues/reliability? Etc?
jjwslot: I have an 06 base with an LS2. And it is as base as it gets. It's an automatic 6 speed with paddles. I am rewiring the paddles so that the right paddle is upshift and the left is downshift. The original paddles upshift when you push forward with your thumb on either side. Downshift by pulling toward you with your fingers on either side. I have no idea why they went with this completely oddball setup. My GTI was normal right up left down. You can see why it's messed up when you're moving and think you're upshifting but are really downshifting. Yikes.
I think the C6 is the sexiest of the Corvette designs. People complain about the harmonic dampener going bad. But, those people leave their cars sitting for six months every year and any day there are clouds in the sky. Storing your car is not good. Flexible parts need to be flexed or they become brittle a lot quicker, the balancer is a good example. The other issue is the fuel sensor in the one tank, there are two fuel tanks, becomes stuck or clogged and your fuel gauge will drop to empty around half a tank. Be sure to reset your trip meter so you know how many miles you have driven as a precaution. Corvette guys are worse than Ferrari and Lamborghini guys in babying their cars.
I daily mine. They are meant to be driven. I think my Vette is better than the GTI in the snow. You can't go out in the deep stuff an inch or two isn't bad. And it's fun. I wanted a Corvette since I was 5 or 6. It was 40 years, if I knew how happy it would make me to be in it, I would have bought it a hell of a lot sooner. The amount of performance per dollar is incredible. When the C6.Rs came out to race in the GT classes, every other maker pulled out. There is a good video about it by Donut on YouTube. The 6's are great and everyone is holding on to them. Look in the fall/winter, the deals are better. Good Luck.
| 6 | 1 | |
1662266922 | 1662325090 | t3_x5e90p | t5_2to41 | 8 | Questgine: TIFU by accidentally playing porn audio over my car’s Bluetooth while my wife and kids were in the car
So earlier today, my wife and my 8 and 5 year old daughters were going out to get haircuts. Since they would be gone for a couple hours, I figured I’d have a little me time while I’m home alone. I heard the car pull away and proceeded to bring up porn on my cell phone. Strange, there’s no audio. I’ll try another video. Nope, must be something else. That’s weird, I’m connected to the car Bluetooth AND OH MY GOD. I look out the window and there’s our family car, still sitting in the driveway. My phone connected to the running car and was broadcasting over the car radio.
My wife hasn’t come back or called yet, so I might be ok. But if I’m not there will be hell to pay with my wife, and I probably scarred my daughters for life. Why didn’t I make sure they pulled out first?
TL;DR: went to watch porn when the wife and kids left and accidentally broadcasted the audio over the car’s speakers via Bluetooth.
c_queerly: That’s so disgusting and traumatizing for both your wife and kids. I would be so heartbroken and concerned for my children.
Mode-Klutzy: It’s called human error. You ever butt dialed or fumble for your phone dialed? Just as bad imo. Wife should find this comical like Murphy’s law. Everyone needs some alone time, I’ll bet even you do!
No_Love_1353: Ever buttdialed while you wanked?
Mode-Klutzy: No but almost accidentally hit the “cast to tv” button, I go ape shit frantic spam the cancel button. Now what’s absolutely hilarious is that we have 3 tvs castable in our house (guest room my room living room). There were 4 or 5 on that cast to list 😂. Now sometimes I ponder the depths of Reddit as it’s the only in app reliable source that doesn’t direct me to safari. Yeah I almost accidentally share 1-2 things each “session”.
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1662266052 | 1662727933 | t3_x5dzoj | t5_2to41 | 33 | iajshdflkasdjhflkasd: TIFU by searching up my mom on tiktok
I'm a high schooler, and definitely in tiktok's target audience, been using it since 2019, etc. A while back my mom showed me a video she made that she thought was funny, and I took note of her username. Today I looked it up, and at first it was normal. I took note that she was using the same # in all of her videos. I decided to take a look at the # and I see it has over 60k views on it. I see many different accounts posting to it but one thing is in common with all of them. They were all shot in my house, and they are all 100% my mom. She has made it clear to me and my siblings that she does not post her face in any of her videos but she does not care about anything below her chin being on the internet. Half of the # was flooded with videos of her twerking and doing things of the same manner (I was just scrolling through the thumbnails but they were all practically the same thumbnail as the first one I clicked on). I'm genuinely so embarrassed because we have a very tight bond and this is so awkward to even think about. I checked the comments and all of them are men > 40\~ and it's really weird to read these things that they post knowing they are talking about my mom. She is in a very happy relationship with my father and she is very close with all of me and my siblings. I know posts like this typically get posted to tiktok (especially this subreddit, from what I get on my FYP), and I don't know what videos my mom gets, but if you see this, I love you mom, but seriously, consider deleting that, there are some creeps on the internet. (Also I swear to god I am not giving you guys any of her account names.)
TL;DR:
I saw lewd videos of my mom on tiktok and am incredibly embarrassed
ItsFrosty33: Your poor dad
No_Love_1353: It would be worse if mum was replying to these 40+ guys.
iajshdflkasdjhflkasd: EVERY COMMENT SAYS LIKED BY CREATOR UNDER THEM 
clartred96: >She is in a very happy relationship with my father
Not really man, no.
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1662268410 | 1662313812 | t3_x5eon7 | t5_2to41 | 7 | loaxming: TIFU by threatening my ex
all fake names.
so this happened about 6 weeks ago.
i dated this guy, gavin, for a few months. march 2022 - july 2022.
gavin and i met at work. we work for the same grocery company, but in different departments. he works in the curbside department as a personal shopper, and i work in the department that deals with prices tags, signs, product placement, inventory, coupons, ads etc. over a year ago, my department manager, caleb, assigned me to train gavin in my department, in case we ever needed extra help. that’s how gavin and i met. we became close friends for a year, before i ever developed feelings for him. i confessed i started to develop feelings, but he rejected me. we remained close friends after that for a few months, and i got over my feelings for him, but then he told me he started to develop feelings for me. then we started dating. he refused to make me his girlfriend but wanted me to be exclusive to him. he just wanted to take things extremely slow, but wanted me all for himself. this rubbed me the wrong way, and fell like he wanted to keep me for himself without the commitment, but I respected him wanting to take things slow, and agreed to do it his way. After a few months of dating, with no issues, he randomly decides to break up with me. His best friend is a mutual friend of mine, and she told me that he said I was too independent, and not submissive enough. He was intimidated that I was self-sufficient at such a young age. I’m 22, and he’s 31. i’ve had the same job since I was 16, and since I was 19 I’ve had my own house and car. He got his first job at 29, and just moved out of his parents house. I felt like he was just intimidated by me. I decided that I was better off without him, and needed a man who wasnt too insecure to being with me. The day after we break up, Caleb who I previously mentioned is my boss, is also a very close friend of mine, calls me saying that Gavin is texting his girlfriend, kayla, Saying that I said she’s going through a rough spot in her relationship, and that if kayla wanted to hit gavin up. I never Told Gavin anything about Caleb and Kayla’s relationship, and it made me really angry. Kayla, caleb and I are very all good friends, And it upset me that Gavin was lying on my name. It also made me a bit jealous that Gavin was trying to hit up one of my friends. Caleb was very upset, saying all sorts of bad things about Gavin. I told caleb that I would take care of it. I called Gavin to confront him about the situation, and told him to stop lying to MY friends about me, and to stop texting Kayla or else Caleb was gonna fuck him up. Gavin apologize and it said he would stop texting them. The next day I sent Gavin a lengthy apology, saying that it wasn’t any of my business who he texts, and I shouldn’t have spoke to him the way I did. He read it but never responded. two weeks later I go to work and I get called into the office of the main boss. He says Gavin submitted an HR complaint that me and Caleb were threatening violent acts against him. I truthfully explain the entire situation to my boss, and he puts me and Caleb on a paid suspension. After two weeks, HR decides to fire both me and Caleb. (I am a single mother to one child, and Caleb is a single father to three children. We are both sole providers for families) our boss was very upset over the situation. he said if it was up to him, he would fire Gavin and keep me and Caleb, but unfortunately if they look at it black-and-white, we did threaten him, and this is a corporate company. HR thought that legally the best move would be to fire me and Caleb, as a precautionary in case something were to happen to Gavin. Me and Caleb are now jobless, and I don’t know what to do. I worked for this company for six years. this is my first job. I don’t understand why Gavin reacted in such a petty way. Am I the asshole for the way I spoke to him
tl;dr: ex broke up with me, started texting my guy friends girlfriend. my guy friend and i were mad, and i called him and told him to stop texting her or my guy friend is gonna fuck him up. we all work for the same company, so my ex reports us to hr and me and my guy friend got fired.
kalysti: I regret that this all endangered your child, but, in the end, it was you yourself who endangered your child. You acted like an undisciplined, selfish schoolgirl, and you are just too old and have too many responsibilities to do that.
Don't become involved with people you work with, and never, ever threaten anyone with violence, whether at work or not. You may not mean it, but in the world the way it is today, they certainly have the right to take it seriously.
No man is worth endangering the welfare of your child, ever. Focus on growing up yourself, being independent and responsible, and giving your child the best possible life you can give them.
AuntyAntonella: Ouch. Have you never FU?
kalysti: I haven't ever threatened violence on someone. And I certainly never threatened to have someone else be violent. If I were going to be violent, I wouldn't talk about it, I'd just do it myself.
I haven't ever contributed to someone else losing their job, either. This woman has been working for 6 years. She isn't a child. Instead, she has a child. Grown ups with children need to put those kids first.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1662268801 | 1662269146 | t3_x5esl5 | t5_2to41 | 33 | Jtrich: TIFU by accidentally charging over $1,000 to my brother's card.
So this happened maybe an hour ago and I'm definitely still drunk.
Context: I live with my brother and his wife in Downtown (Midwest Capital City) They're somewhat well-to-do and order Uber eats, grub hub, instacart, what have you, a lot.
My brother my SIL and I are fairly intoxicated tonight, not too irregular. My SIL handed me her phone out of the blue and I see the order screen for one of the aforementioned Instant ordering apps.
Assuming that my SIL was about to place an order, I decided that it would be funny if I added a lot of "inappropriate" items to the cart (mind you we're all adults), thinking that she would see the HILARIOUS items, we would all have a good laugh, and she would take the items out of the cart and place the order. Unfortunately my assumptions were not correct.
As I'm adding the items to the cart I start saying them out loud, to spur a reaction from my brother and SIL.
"15 boxes of trojan condoms... 10 pack"
"10 bottles of prostate medicine."
"10 bottles of 'T' booster."
yada yada yada...
My SIL takes the phone back and seems unamused. I was super happy with myself, thinking - drunkenly - that I had just pulled off an epic prank 2022 style. I start laughing and giggling over the prank that I just pulled and my SIL mentions that it's not funny because the delivery driver is already on their way.
Me: "Wait what?"
Brother: "Yeah I just got a fraud detection alert sent to my phone."
I'm still slightly confused before the realization sets in...
My SIL had already placed an order and was being kind enough to see if I wanted to ADD anything else to the order. Turns out... As soon as you add the item to the cart, after the order has been placed, the additional total is INSTANTLY taken off of the card/account that the order is linked to.
The total transaction ended up being a little over $1400. \~$200 of which was part of the original transaction.
My SIL ended up cancelling the entire order after many many minutes of pure panic and regret in my brain. This is ultimately the solution to the problem that I have created, but creates many problems itself. While my brother and his SIL do well financially. An unexpected $1400 transaction will kinda throw a wrench into a lot of people's day-to-day lives.
Sorry for the long post and it may be boring this is my first post to the sub.
TL;DR
I accidentally added around $1200 to my SIL's instacart order... I didn't meant to... I'm just drunk.
Glen_Myers: 
Jtrich: I'm glad you understand.
| 3 | 11 | |
1662274869 | 1662301838 | t3_x5ggac | t5_2to41 | 1,453 | ExtremeLopsided4285: TIFU by telling my gf I feel like a wallet
[removed]
MuggleWitch: Reddest flag, friend.
Most women I know myself included feel the need to pay. Why would we have jobs, incomes and savings and not offer money?
We also understand that our partners need a break from paying for us. It's a negotiation, meaning, we discuss what we can buy/afford. I (f, 33) decided a long time ago, I wouldn't make my partner buy anything I couldn't personally afford.
ZipMap: >We also understand that our partners need a break from paying for us
Why should tbe man pay anyway. You said it yourself:
>we have jobs, incomes and savings
So we have "equal" income status (employee) so we split evenly, right? Why should your wallet stay full?
coveted_asfuck: Every relationship is different. People come from different income backgrounds. So no it doesn’t always make sense to split everything evenly. It’s very dependent on the people in the relationship.
ZipMap: Ok let me rephrase: Since both people work, why would one bear more weight than the other?
T0NZ: People make different amounts of money? Is this that hard to understand?
ZipMap: So what ? Should I pay more because you decided to be a nurse instead of a software engineer?
dreamcasttrash: IMO if you are going to have a relationship with a wage disparity you should split things based on percentage rather than dollar value. It’s the only way to keep the lower income person from being pushed over their limit. Otherwise date someone who makes similar to what you make so it’s not an issue.
ZipMap: I don't live a lavish lifestyle so their income is more than enough for me not having to pay more than they can carry
dreamcasttrash: There is a huge difference between a software engineer not living lavishly and legitimately low income people. I think if you are legitimately living at the lower income persons level then fine 50/50 is acceptable but you should be honest with yourself and your partner when determining if your lifestyle is something they can afford.
ZipMap: Ok obviously I need to reframe a bit. As long as no one is steuggling, why should one pay more than the other
dreamcasttrash: The reason would be so that both partners have the same opportunity to save money regardless of where you choose to recreate or live assuming you cohabitate.
ZipMap: Why shouldn't your opportunity to save be related to your income?
dreamcasttrash: Because you are in a relationship where you presumably care about the other person.
| 14 | 103.785714 | |
1662275606 | 1662294911 | t3_x5gno2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | OxymoronFromMars: TIFU by going out to dinner with my best friend’s coworkers
So this happened at about 7pm tonight (it’s midnight now, so I guess it was technically yesterday). I took a 6 hour train ride up to see my best friend. She moved far away to help manage her husband’s store up north and had a hard time transitioning from being a city girl to living a rural life. She found a good part-time job and made a lot of new friends, which happen to be her coworkers.
I didn’t realize what they’re group dynamic was like, but they have overt sexual banter amongst each other that I suppose is to establish rapport in some way? I thought it was weird, given that they’re her coworkers, but I didn’t think too much of it otherwise.
So we all met up at a pizza parlor and I meet 4 of her closest coworkers. I didn’t mind all the sex jokes at dinner and actually had a good time chatting.
Of the 4 coworkers that were there, 1 showed up late and arrived after dinner. He pulled me to the side and told me that my best friend had told him a lot of stories about me. I have an interesting life story, so I thought maybe she mentioned some of my childhood trauma (which I am comfortable talking about and have done several panels on my life story for psych wards, women’s shelters, substance abuse centers, and high schools). But to my surprise it was not about my childhood, but about MY sexual escapades. And it was about my most shameful hook-up from when I was 23.
When I was 23, I drove my best friend up to an army base out in the desert to meet up with a guy she had been seeing. He got permission to leave base overnight and I dropped them off at a motel and they asked me to go and pick up some White Claws for them while they had some one-on-one time. So, at 3am, I drive over to a lonely gas station and there was a sign on the AM/PM convenience store saying that they were taking a half hour break (I guess that was their lunch break) and saw a guy waiting outside to pick up some smokes. We end up talking and I hopped into his car since it gets pretty cold at night in the desert. One thing led to another and we ended up driving away and parking on a hill, which turned out to be someone’s driveway. He was unable to get an erection, so we made out and gave each other oral sex. I thought the most embarrassing moment is when I had one leg out the car window while he was crouched down by the passenger side eating me out and this sweet old lady pulled her car up next to ours to inform us that we were in her driveway. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that I had no idea he was high on coke the entire time and while I was kissing his sweaty body, at one point I was licking his sweat and wondering why it was giving me such a rush, since I’ve never been one to lick sweat off someone… even saying it is embarrassing.
We part ways and I get back to the motel with no White Claws, since it was then 5am. For the next two days of our trip I couldn’t sleep and after being up for 48 hours, I ended up puking my guts out before finally passing out in the motel.
So, knowing that all the coworkers are very close and enjoy raunchy stories, I found out that all the coworkers knew this information before they had even met me. I still have to spend the rest of the Labor Day weekend with my best friend and her coworkers and I’m embarrassed beyond belief.
TLDR; I went out to dinner with my best friend’s coworkers for the first time and they all knew that I had a one-night stand in the desert and got high off of coke sweat, unbeknownst to me at the time.
AutisticPenguin2: That's a rough introduction, to be sure!
How did they act about it though? Did they treat you weird because of it? Did it come up in conversation?
OxymoronFromMars: They were all very nice, I just didn’t find out that the rest of the party knew until the last coworker showed up and told me everything while my friend was saying goodbye to her other coworkers. He left shortly afterwards, so the conclusion of the night for me was that everyone knew about my most embarrassing hookup and no one uttered a word except for the one guy, who then said goodbye and left. Knowing my friend, she probably told him to mention it right at the end. Of course, she thought the whole thing was hilarious and reassured me that her coworkers don’t think any less of me, but how could you not question who I am to have done such a thing? I like to say I don’t judge others, but I’d definitely raise some eyebrows to a story like that. I just didn’t want that story to be their first impression of me. If I got closer with them, I could see myself sharing the story, but I’d rather have it come from me on my terms. I’m eventually going to have to tell her that at some point over this weekend.
AutisticPenguin2: I agree that having this shared without your knowledge and consent is a breach of confidence - if your friend wants to tell the story, have them anonymise it. You should absolutely have a word to your friend about this.
But if no-one said anything about it, if no-one was acting weird around you, if the first clue was someone at the end of the night having a quiet word with you just to let you know, it sounds like there isn't much judgement going on.
I've hooked up with a guy the morning after a party - we both crashed the night and in the morning we snuck off and hooked up in the bathroom. The entire household knew what was going on. We were not as subtle as we thought. Sure I didn't get a contact high from his bodily fluids, but we all have moments when the horny takes over. I really don't think you need to worry about it that much.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1662278328 | 1662313323 | t3_x5hcz5 | t5_2to41 | 2 | BorderInside: TIFU By Putting My Bloody Hand in Communal Food
TIFU by putting my bloody hand in my housemates food. Here’s some background. I’ve been sick for the past week and over the past few days I have had tons of bloody noses. I’ve bled everywhere and all the time. In the shower, on the toilet, on the bed, on the sofa, you name it I’ve bled there.
Tonight, some housemates wanted to watch a movie and I thought I would be nice to make some popcorn. I found the popcorn kernels, but couldn’t find a cup, so I reached in with my hand and put them in our popcorn machine. The only problem was I didn’t see the massive streak of dried blood running down my entire hand from wiping my nose. But my housemates did. They were not pleased.
TL;DR I put my bloody hand from my bloody nose in my housemates food. They were not happy about it.
Mrgrieves74: What the hell is wrong with you? You couldn’t feel warm blood dripping from your nose down your arm? This is a stupid ass post. What are you gaining from this? Stupid idiot.
BorderInside: It had been bleeding on and off for several hours before and had dried on my hand. Does not make this any less stupid, but it’s not like I didn’t feel it, more like just forgot to wash it off after
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1662278962 | 1662280096 | t3_x5hj3m | t5_2to41 | 10 | deeznutzz34: TIFU by getting my master plan leaked
[removed]
Horti_boi: My IQ dipped reading this. Are you 10? Edit, ohh, you’re karma farming. Do it with some finesse please.
Creinium13: This kid has not discovered his penis yet.
Jesus fuck. Go find some lotion junior.
Horti_boi: Hahaha, that’s savage lol
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1662279878 | 1662283222 | t3_x5hrpf | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU/My (F/53) Gf Told Me (M/55) Today, That Our Love-Song Is A Huge Turn-Off For Her.
[removed]
Kaidu313: Anyone else think this is just Rip off of [that other tifu? ](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
The storytelling format is almost identical.
Arcturion: Good catch.
Either this is a straight up karma fishing attempt or OP is the most unself-aware guy on earth.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1662281426 | 1662284205 | t3_x5i62k | t5_2to41 | 15 | bring-grimm-back: TIFU by eating the 2022 paqui one chip challange
I often eat spicy food, a lot. Spicy food is my favorite type of food. ButI bought the 2022 paqui one chip challenge today. Although it wasn’t that spicy to me, the flavor was absolutely awful. It tastes like satins ball sack. It was the worst flavor chip I have ever had, it tasted like ash and dirt. It was absolutely vile. What was worse than that? The poop. Soon after I ate the chip I had a pain in my stomach telling me I needed to poop. I ran into the bathroom and I exploded like a fire hydrant. I broke out in hot sweat and ended up having to strip naked and tan myself too cool off. The diarrhea was awful, it burnt so bad I was almost crying as soon as it touched my butt or any skin around it, it felt like acid burning my skin. The same thing happened about 5 minutes later. Now I’m in bed and have a cold cramping sensation and burping up bile. Fuck this chip. It’s more of a chemical burning feeling more than spicy feeling.
Important to note: I have an interview tomorrow early AM as-well, Hopefully I am ok by then😭
TL;DR I ate the paqui one chip challenge and it burnt my asshole
TraditionalSuccess12: U got fire poop before digesting the chip?
bring-grimm-back: Apparently, although I might be exaggerating the am out of time it took, it might have fully digested, it jsut was pretty fast before i was on the toilet, I am currently on the toilet
TraditionalSuccess12: Show proof your on the toilet rubbing your nipples with your dick in your hand softly moaning my name
(I realized your dick may be one of those inside out ones)
bring-grimm-back: I don’t have a dick
TraditionalSuccess12: I guess i didnt edit my comment fast enough
| 6 | 2.5 | |
1662283164 | 1662305414 | t3_x5imit | t5_2to41 | 55 | CyberMaddie: TIFU by not checking the washing machine
Long time lurker, first time poster, on mobile and terrible with English. Yes, it is my first language. This happened two hours ago. NSFW to be safe. Onto the FU.
Where to begin. So, earlier today I was in a rush to get my clothes in the washer and get my shower done so I could get some gaming in. I threw my clothes in, showered and then started the machine. And like the genius I am, I forgot about them. It was about 6/7 when I showered and 1 am when I remembered to check them.
So I go into the bathroom, pull them out and start hanging them up. (Dryer is broken, so yay.) Now, to preface this next part, I live in the country. And there's a lot of mice coming over from the field across the road. My grandma's cat, the one who practically lives in the bathroom, loves to chase them around.
Well somehow one of her little chases ended with the mouse hiding in the washer. The very one where I threw my clothes. And as I'm grabbing my last item of clothing I see it. A very, very drowned and soaked field mouse.
I am a bit of a germaphobe, so after some rigorous scrubbing of my hands and upper arms, I grab gloves, clean the washer, run a vinegar solution through it twice and then finally feel safe enough to rewash my clothes.
TL:DR; I didn't check the washer when throwing in clothes, did not realize that a mouse had sought refuge within from the feline demon. It ended up being it's doom as it took a watery rollercoaster from hell. I still feel like I need to scrub the living daylights out of my skin and my clothes will likely not be dry by the time I leave in the morning.
xxDooomedxx: Thank God. I thought you were going to say the cat was in the washer.
CyberMaddie: Thankfully no, she was too busy trying to bite my toes. 😂
Auroraburst: Well, you did steal her kill! 😂
CyberMaddie: Very fair! lmao
| 5 | 11 | |
1662283218 | 1662336645 | t3_x5in2u | t5_2to41 | 698 | DoneWithDad4Good: TIFU drinking with my girlfriend's dad
A few nights ago I (19m) had dinner with my gf and her parents at their house. It was my first time meeting her family. The evening was going well up until the private man to man moment between the dad and I after dinner. He offered me a beer and proceeded to ask me more questions about my life. I was doing a decent job of sounding somewhat sensible, but then the dad offered me another beer. I'm not that big on drinking alcohol. I'm a lightweight. It does not take a lot to get me drunk. By the end of beer 1, I was no longer feeling like myself. But I didn't want to look weak or whatever in front of the dad, so I accepted beer 2 and hesitantly continued drinking.
Towards the end of the second beer, I was uncharacteristically comfortable asking the dad inappropriate questions about his life, specifically relating to his job as a prison guard. I wanted to know if the dad inspected the asses of inmates to check for contraband like in the movies. The dad said "too often". I drunkenly joked about never having seen my own asshole let alone the asshole of another guy. I pointed out to the dad that he must have seen more male assholes than most gay men. The dad said nothing. There it was. The hint. You're crossing the line. Stop talking about assholes. Sober me would have recognized that and shut the fuck up. But alas. The sudden silence between the dad and I lasted too long for my liking so as a joke I decided to let the dad know that I would find out what my asshole looked like from my gf aka his 18 year old daughter and report back.
At the time I didn't realize what I said, but I remember the dad replying in German. The family is German. I don't know if the dad was talking to me or to himself, but whatever he said sounded ominous. From that moment onwards I could tell the dad's attitude towards me had changed. He stopped asking me questions and kept the conversation between the two of us to a minimum. In fact, the most enthusiastic question from him to me eventually became "how far is your Uber?" What haunts me even now is something my gf casually mentioned days before the dinner. She said there was one way of knowing for sure if her dad liked me and that was if he showed me a framed photo he proudly keeps in his man cave of him with Jackie Chan when they were both much, much younger than they are now.
I never saw the Jackie Chan photo.
TL:DR I drank more alcohol than I should have with my girlfriend's dad and drunkenly told him that I'm gonna let my girlfriend aka his teenage daughter inspect my butthole just like he inspects buttholes every day while working as a prison guard.
TolkinLovecraft: Have you checked yet, or found out what your own asshole looks like though? You might as well at this point
DoneWithDad4Good: Visibility unclear. Requires machete.
Card1974: [I gotcha](https://i.imgur.com/j5MLVcA.jpeg).
blaktronium: Nobody is clicking this
NerdHerder77: You're missing out.
blaktronium: You're right it's the good machete, not the ass hair swamp I was expecting
NerdHerder77: One of us! ONE OF US! **ONE OF US!!**
| 8 | 87.25 | |
1662284082 | 1662298648 | t3_x5iv96 | t5_2to41 | 100 | [deleted]: TIFU by showing my new classmate my long hair
[deleted]
Tanagrabelle: Perhaps she's on the spectrum?
Foxrex: Perhaps she has poor boundaries?
Tanagrabelle: Perhaps both?
Foxrex: Totally.
| 5 | 20 | |
1662284874 | 1662287319 | t3_x5j2k4 | t5_2to41 | 3 | KindDingo4191: TIFU By not realizing a standard STI check doesn't typically include a Herpes screening unless you insist it be done.
Why do I know this now? My Partner of 7 years was diagnosed with HSV-2 earlier this week and was absolutely devastated when she found out that her annual STD check, which she anxiously waited for in a minor state of panic every year, never checked for herpes because her answers of being in a long term relationship for most of her life should indicate she is not at major risk for infection. That's a great intention, but every single guy she dated eventually got busted for cheating and she would go her own way and would wait in fear until her next annual to get a check.
We both feel like we were responsible for the others infection, but thinking back to when I was a kid I am pretty sure I am the one to blame. Every winter since i was 5 I would get these "cold sores" around my mouth. I then called up my mother to see if she remembered me getting them and she informed me she has it too; and I can remember the exact moment I infected myself when I was five. Mostly solo when I was a kid I would get a bit over zealous with her and demand attention/affection. One Saturday morning I wanted a kiss from her, to which she replied " Not today baby, I have this thing on my lip." I kissed her anyway as I was already up in her face and walked away. The cold soars went away around Jr High and I haven't had any since.
The CDC recommends not to test patients for Herpes unless the patient meets the criteria for testing. 75% of people carrying the virus never show any signs or symptoms.
That's right folks! Because there is a "stigma" surrounding the lifelong disease that may trigger major depression, feelings of despair/worrying, and suicidal ideations after discovering the subject is testing positive for HSV-1 or HSV-2, they simply decided it was better not to test everyone when screening for STI's, but only if you meet the recommended criteria for testing or **insist you be screened!**
This is completely asinine in practice for a highly contagious disease that about 14% of Americans are already infected with.
I enjoyed High School, partying till I collapsed, several orgies - 1st was my sophomore year of High school (1999?), last one was around 2007, in addition to other wild, drunken one night stands and questionable hookups I had before reconnecting with a girl I knew in High School 7 years ago. It makes me sick to think that I may have infected others for the past 20 years not to mention the most important person in the world and there's not much I can do about it.
Now I have to prep myself for the conversations with those former lovers that are still apart of my life and hope they can forgive me.
I feel I have been betrayed by the healthcare system in the US. The annual STI check I sporadically requested for the past 20 years was only testing for Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and HIV/AIDS: When the results came in I was verbally assured that I did not test positive for anything, and never actually looked at the tests that were run.
[https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/screening-recommendations.htm](https://www.cdc.gov/std/treatment-guidelines/screening-recommendations.htm)
\- † Type-specific HSV-2 serologic assays for diagnosing HSV-2 are useful in the following scenarios: recurrent or atypical genital symptoms or lesions with a negative HSV PCR or culture result, clinical diagnosis of genital herpes without laboratory confirmation, and a patient’s partner has genital herpes. HSV-2 serologic screening among the general population is not recommended. Patients who are at higher risk for infection (e.g., those presenting for an STI evaluation, especially for persons with ≥10 lifetime sex partners, and persons with HIV infection) might need to be assessed for a history of genital herpes symptoms, followed by type-specific HSV serologic assays to diagnose genital herpes for those with genital symptoms.
I am a bit upset about this whole situation and hope that my unfortunate story helps at least one person that may also think they have a clean bill of health like we did; The CDC's assumption that ignorance is bliss has lead to the possibility of unknowingly infecting others on a massive scale.
TL;DR For the past 20yrs I thought I was clean; found out I've never been tested for Herpes.
ChronicallyToast: Sorry to hear that OP.
KindDingo4191: I suppose things could be worse, but I am super disappointed that we won't be able to start "living the lifestyle" unless we find others that are also carriers. It also feels like a bad idea altogether; infected people mingling with other infected people. Makes me think we will end up with something worse.
| 3 | 1 | |
1662289304 | 1662339853 | t3_x5k9rr | t5_2to41 | 1,068 | ihaveredditonachrome: TIFU by reading a book
[removed]
mathheadinc: Does your mom cook? Does your mom realize that cooking is a form of chemistry which is science and therefore, in her eyes, a form of “witchcraft”?
Don’t ask her to her face. I don’t want to get you into more trouble. Just want to show how faulty that reasoning is.
ihaveredditonachrome: ...
why do i have an urge to tell her this-
like-
i want the satisfaction of her seeing that see promotes 'witchcraft' as well.
Revenge will be sweet.
mathheadinc: Another question: why would God give us the ability to cook (which is in fact chemistry/science) to feed our families if it is in fact witchcraft (spiritism) which he condemns?
ihaveredditonachrome: This. This is my trump card.
You sir or ma'am,
have just assisted me in my quest to expose her as a hypocrite and Karen.
My mother is a cooking fanatic.
mathheadinc: Not HER, the false teachings. Your only goal is to calmly refute untruths. I repeat, CALMLY!
ihaveredditonachrome: but i kinda wanna expose both of them at the same time
mathheadinc: Also, keep in mind that your mother may have been coerced into these beliefs. You may actually be helping her!
ihaveredditonachrome: Possibly, but I do doubt it. She always tells me what I'm doing wrong and how to do it right, even though I did it right, and she's doing it horribly wrong.
mathheadinc: Also, you said that “usually she’s pretty nice”, so I want to believe that there is hope for your relationship with her.
Arrasor: Hah you wish. That's a common tactic of abusers, there are always "nice" moments in between abusive bouts to give false hope. "They are still redeemable", "I just need to please her/him and the nice moments will increase", "this situation is not THAT bad since they are still nice to me sometimes". Carrot and stick, tale as old as time.
Edit: typo.
mathheadinc: There is nothing in any of my comments that suggests this teen should appease the parent.
Staying calm is a health advantage to everyone. Thus, my encouraging this young person to stay calm is for his/her long term advantage.
| 12 | 89 | |
1662289720 | 1662331274 | t3_x5kdvu | t5_2to41 | 8,935 | Naive_Inevitable8818: TIFU by taking a shower with my girlfriend
[removed]
jefftatro1: I'm 17 and am showering with a girl, then I "forgot" she was there.
PJ_Plays: I had "never" showered with anyone before tho
FluffyCloud5: I'm confused, are you implying most 17 year olds have showered with someone else?
PJ_Plays: nah, you dont "forget there is someone else" if you have "never showered with someone else before"... in fact, it'll constantly be in your mind entire time
l337hackzor: Two most likely outcomes are raging shower boner or it cowers in fear the whole time.
Either way you are right, how could you forget she was there? You'd probably be laser focused on her hot bod or focusing on trying to look good (it's been 20 years but I feel like this is what I'd be doing at 17)
trailrunner79: My dick would've been so hard at 17 I wouldn't have been able to pee
CluelessSurvivor: You can’t pee when you’re hard?
illarionds: Not well.
ArltheCrazy: It’s kinda up in the air.
That_Fooz_Guy: Hahahahaha damn it 🤣
| 11 | 812.272727 | |
1662290179 | 1662614333 | t3_x5kiod | t5_2to41 | 50 | iDRSmyGME: TIFU by Missing the Cup
So per doctors orders for the past week I haven't ejaculated. (Taking stupid drugs that may effect sperm count).
Felt pretty good about making it 2 weeks and today I was due for a semen analysis. Got to the clinic met with reception and shortly after was sent on my merry way to a small room with a cup. For about 5 minutes I'm standing there trying to wack one out and ain't nothing working.
It's up but I got no material or imagination to work with and I sure as hell ain't pickin up an old probably crusty nudie mag.
Another 5 minutes go by and I'm almost there and then a loud bang on the door from the receptionist to ask if I'm alright startles me and I pretty much painted the wall white... I Walked out took the cup with me and left without saying anything.
TLDR - went to get sperm count check and the receptionist spooked me while I was rubbing one out and I blasted the wall.
riverrabbit1116: So, receptionist is into banging. Is that included or is there a sir charge?
ImMoreManThanAHorse: you mean surcharge?
riverrabbit1116: I mean a charge for banging the sir. . .
ImMoreManThanAHorse: oohhhhhh my bad
| 5 | 10 | |
1662291367 | 1662295128 | t3_x5kup0 | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by bruising myself
[deleted]
InstallWizard: Seek professional help.
VinPossible: Yeah my dude get u some therapy some woooo saaa. Or ommmmmm. Whatever scented candles.
InstallWizard: 
VinPossible: ^ that. Reddit to the rescue
| 5 | 6.2 | |
1662295054 | 1662301789 | t3_x5lzal | t5_2to41 | 23 | skroobler: TIFU by throwing up on my bf's dick
[removed]
InstallWizard: But did you finish the job after cleaning up?
skroobler: yeah, we went a bit further...
TheIronLunng: Someone give her an award! 👏
AcrobaticSource3: I think she already got an award...in her mouth
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1662295180 | 1665680081 | t3_x5m0qq | t5_2to41 | 11 | Tinatworinker: TIFU by ruining a beautiful paint job
TLDR: I spent 2 weeks making my used car look brand new, only to ruin it in 10 minutes.
My mechanic found me a sweet deal on a used car. I was extremely sceptical at first, because it is a 1197 Ford Escort with only 19,000 miles on it. He checked it out and says everything is in order. He does not see any real wear on the car. It only needed new tires because the ones that came with it had dry rot. I brought the car home and began the 2 weeks long process of cleaning 25 years worth of mildew (from sitting in a barn) out of the car. After many hot and sweaty evenings and weekends of scrubbing and cleaning, he body and interior of the car came out beautiful! Once I removed the terrible after market tint from the windows, it looked to be a pretty nice car.
My only problem was that there were these rubber strips that ran across the middle of the front and rear driver's side and passenger side doors. (I guess to protect the doors from getting dinged by another car door in a parking lot). These had a stripe of mildew that nothing I had around the house would remove.
I went to Amazon and ordered a good mildew removing spray and a nice scrub brush. They arrived yesterday. I was so excited to go out and finish making the car look new! I sprayed the spray, scrubbed the strips and watched the back stripe disappear. I was so proud of myself! I took a step back to take in the whole picture...
...and saw the horrible, orange rust drips coming from underneath the rubber strips all the way to the bottom of the door! They look like bright, ugly tiger stripes. I tried EVERYTHING to get them off! Even scrubbing them with rubbing compound doesn't work! They have become like a part of the paint job!
I was SO CLOSE to achieving perfection. Then I completely ruined the car! My only consolation is that it's only on the passenger side. If I park correctly, I hardly ever have to look at that side of the car.
bajatg: Uhhh, that must be tough. I sent my '85 Mercedes on a deep clean of interior, and after a few weeks paint on the driver side door panel came off... So I get you.
Can we see the before and after of the whole car?
Tinatworinker: I didn't take before pictures. Nobody wanted that memory!
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1662296969 | 1662302494 | t3_x5mm5p | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by spending time with my girlfriend’s friend in a closed room when girlfriend was in the house
[deleted]
looncraz: Your girlfriend needs to learn to trust you. It also doesn't sound like you're "entertaining her advances," you're ignoring them.
A three-way conversation to bridge that issue may or may not be beneficial, but if your gf can't address it calmly with you and K then that's another issue altogether.
Kcnflman: A three way! Perfect ice breaker!
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1662297207 | 1662303621 | t3_x5mp7h | t5_2to41 | 90 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to be sexy and whisper during a hook up
[deleted]
RGBeee: My boy went home with blue balls...
complexbanana_303: I felt SO BAD… he insisted it was ok but I probably apologized a million times. I honestly would have gone through but my floor is generally very quiet and the fans in our rooms aren’t loud at all… definitely going to see if his roommate will be gone tonight though😂
| 3 | 30 | |
1662298735 | 1662325647 | t3_x5n7un | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating mcdonalds right after my stomach pains went away.
[deleted]
Mordyth: Do they not have doctors where you're from?
Terrible-Ad-3093: as if my dad would let me see a doctor
Mordyth: Wtf? What kind of shittu ass fucker of a dad do you have that lets you put up with stomach pain for that long and not take you to a doctor? FFS
Terrible-Ad-3093: read my comment with an explanation
Mordyth: Ok I did. You know what? Fuck that. Is your dad a doctor? If not, go see a doctor
Terrible-Ad-3093: lmao I agree with you man, but my dad's a brick wall especially when the whole family's on his side
Mordyth: I don't understand how you can't just walk or take the bus yourself? Surely you're over 16 or 18?
Terrible-Ad-3093: I'm 15 are 15 year olds legally allowed to go to like urgent care.
Mordyth: They are in my country.
| 10 | 3.2 | |
1662298110 | 1662303206 | t3_x5n06j | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by Getting Heavily Drunk And Almost Dying
[deleted]
Adestimare: To be fair, I feel like the worst part of the story is those asshats not calling a fucking ambulance.
Sure it worked out in the end, but they didn't know that for sure. They might have let you die, just because they are afraid of the repercussions.
ok-dude-: Yeah man, the reason they didn't called 911 was brcause they asked me what 5 + 5 was and I said 10
| 3 | 2 | |
1662299213 | 1662327167 | t3_x5ndwh | t5_2to41 | 4 | kristyiskool: TIFU by having Wattpad on my phone
Me and my friend were playing games on my phone. As you probably know Wattpad is a reading app but people use it mostly for the smut. Anyways I asked her what game she wanted to play on my phone next and she saw that I have Wattpad. She asked me why I had it. I don’t want people to know what I read so I lied and said I had it to read a recommendation I found on TikTok. She accepts the lie and we continue playing games. A few minutes later I tell her I’m going to the bathroom and when I come back a few minutes later she has a horrified look on her face. I ask her what’s wrong and she says to me “I just went through your Wattpad. Why do you have so much smut saved?…” My dumbass forgot to lock my phone. I don’t know how to feel around her anymore. I feel that my privacy was completely ignored. She also won’t shut up about it. But I think it’s my fault because I shouldn’t be reading that stuff at my age (12). What do you think?
TL;DR TIFU by having Wattpad on my phone
Abdull_sensa_scipola: I mean, Just uninstall the app and switch to watching porn
MaccGawd: You’re really recommending watching porn to a 12 year old? Do better, bruh SMH.
Abdull_sensa_scipola: I mean She already was Reading It so its no big deal, plus i personally ( my Friends too ) started beetwin 10/11/12 so its normal
MaccGawd: You can acknowledge that children consume that shit, but you shouldn’t recommend it to them. I’m not anti-porn, but it can be very harmful to young viewers.
Abdull_sensa_scipola: Ik i was Just trying to answer her problem, like porn? Reading It May cause you to get caught, watching It leaves no proofs of your fun
| 6 | 0.666667 | |
1662299496 | 1662323652 | t3_x5nhi9 | t5_2to41 | 69,340 | TylerLife: TIFU - Posting on Reddit about our sex life with CBAT and now our relationship has ended
Ok this exploded more than I expected, and has been a bit overwhelming with the messages but thought I’d give an update.
The attention hasn’t been exactly positive and this hasn’t been the best thing to happen for my relationship and it’s now sadly ended.
I didn’t expect it to blow up so much, I should of used an anonymous name instead of my real name and our real ages.
There aren’t many 25 year old Tyler Life’s who are in a relationship with their s/o for 2 years who is 20.
Unfortunately her younger sister recognised this and showed her parents who wasn’t happy at all and made the situation extremely awkward.
What made it more awkward, and cemented the fact that it was me, is that they recognised the song. Once at a family dinner we were discussing music tastes and my ex girlfriend stated that I have an odd taste in music. Everyone laughed and pressed me to play something from my phone of what I like as music, to which I then blessed their ears with CBAT.
Her father laughed and said it was terrible, I guess we all have different tastes. Although I nodded in agreement at the time, I was thinking in my head that this is a great fucking song.
We are over now and I am moving on. I already revealed my face on tiktok, but with the amount of hate I originally got I decided to say I didn’t have it and backtracked.
I don’t think the song is that bad and I had no idea she didn’t like it until recently and as soon as I did I stopped. I didn’t force her CBAT, not all can handle CBAT, I know it’s different.
I know a lot have asked for face reveal and playlist. My playlist I actually burned onto a CD and have been using my CD player. But I’ll go on YouTube and try link all the songs in one playlist and share.
TL;DR Made Reddit post and finished our relationship
Locke357: I'm still convinced this is actually god-tier guerilla marketing for the artist that made Cbat.
Everyone wants to know how you F\*\*\* to that song. How do you follow the rhythm? It's really slow and awkward for sexytimes X\_x
Wireeeee: But why would the producer need marketing for this random ass song they made, when he’s made songs for Kanye freaking west
jerimiahf: Marketing is anything that makes your product go viral. Doesn’t matter if you’re top of your game or doing it as your first event - if it works, it works.
Btw the song is absolute shit, but I think we all know this isn’t a true story.
lpat93: Song is a fucking banger. Hudson Mohawk literally helped define Edm trap music with heat like this.
Ranik_Sandaris: It sounds like a hamster on ketamine being fucked by the terminator.
Jabrono: That’s what he said, a banger.
Raichu4u: I feel like you guys are just playing the contrary and gaslighting us into what obviously is such a bad song lol
Jabrono: I fuckin love that song buddy, ever since I heard it on Workaholics. Just like literally every other song or genre of music, it’s not for everyone. When you get older you’ll hopefully realize how pathetic it is to gatekeep music.
not_a-mimic: I believe that all music has its place and appropriate time of utility, it being a song to fuck to isn't one of them.
Jabrono: Oh yeah no, its not a song I would choose to fuck to lol but shit idc what others want to fuck to. Still confused about how that lasted two years without her saying anything
not_a-mimic: Maybe she tried really hard to like it and just got caught up in one of those weird romcom situations where she's in too deep.
Jabrono: That’s a valid idea, but two fuckin years lol I could imagine a couple months maybe but two years is kinda on her. And now her dad knows and has heard the song, she’s never going to live that one down haha
| 13 | 5,333.846154 | |
1662294846 | 1662336313 | t3_x5lwur | t5_2to41 | 56 | Cherego: TIFU by eating from a buffet on a wedding
So actually this didnt exactly happen today, but 23 years ago. I was 7.
While attending a wedding of a family member I went to the buffet to check out what could I get there. I could see something that looked like a grapevine, but the fruits were nearly white. Thought thats pretty cool and curious me wanted to try it. I picked some and started eating it. I totally couldnt figure out whats that and it didnt really taste like a fruit. For some reason I still picked a handful of them and ate one after another while walking around.
After some time while still eating them an old couple came to me asking "Do you really like that?", his wife then said: "Ah if he likes it, let him."
I played it cool and said yea its fine and moved on. After thinking about what do they mean I recognized it actually looks and tastes like butter! My brain pranked me due to the butter prepared like grapes in a grapevine. I just ate a handful of butter and still had some left. Instead of just throwing the rest away I didnt want to admit I did it on accident and decided to eat the rest of them. But now knowing that its actually all butter, I started gagging while eating them and felt aweful. Many people were around me seeing me there eating butter while gagging and nearly directly after I ate the last one I threw up all the butter at once, humilating myself in front of everyone and my whole family.
Tl;dr Eating a handful of butter and throwing up on a wedding
single_malt_jedi: >Eating a handful of butter
Need to introduce you folks to my niece who will open the fridge and take a bite out of a stick of butter. My sister has to hide her butter or she will, throughout a day, eat an entire stick.
itslexxiiii: help this is hilarious
single_malt_jedi: Yeah, she is an odd child.
| 4 | 14 | |
1662291256 | 1662316831 | t3_x5ktjc | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my gf my spirit animal is a Cheetah.
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: She wasn’t laughing because “cheetah” sounds like “cheater”. She was laughing because you are too quick during sex
Heathy94: Not really
| 3 | 0.333333 |
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