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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1662434074 | 1662470779 | t3_x6zirn | t5_2to41 | 71 | excessiveswag: TIFU by using “Bitter Yuck” spray to get my cat to stop eating my fake plants
For those of you who aren’t familiar with the product, “Bitter Yuck” spray is meant for dogs and cats who like to eat or chew on things that are not food. My cat has this problem, she’s really weird. Took her to the vet after she threw up bits of plastic plants and hair ties she found around the house a few months ago and was told she has feline Pica, and since then I have to hide and keep those items out of reach.
However, she tries to climb to get to the fake plants and chews them relentlessly. I really love the look of nature in my room but don’t want her to ingest plastic so I decided to try out the spray which has a bittering agent as the name suggests to deter them from biting.
Two problems arose:
1. Byrdie (my cat) doesn’t mind the taste at all, it’s just extra seasoning for her I guess.
2. I cannot escape the taste of Bitter Yuck.
I wasn’t careful enough when I sprayed it and any slight touch around different areas of my room, especially the plants leaves a DISGUSTING, and downright diabolical taste on my hands and fingers that literally will not go away. It is haunting me. I’ll lick my lips and taste it. This shit will literally not go away.
After a few days the taste will slightly fade but then I touch a random surface in my room and it’s there again.
God help me.
TL;DR. Don’t make the mistake I did and do not buy “Bitter Yuck,” just don’t. Taste of spray will NOT leave.
ScarletteGalaxy: My dog didn't mind the taste of any of those sprays. I swear it was her version of hot sauce or ranch.
Crazydarkside4: My dog ate the bottle
ScarletteGalaxy: Mine just licked it. Yours wins this round.
Crazydarkside4: He is rather insane!
| 5 | 14.2 | |
1662431230 | 1662542265 | t3_x6yj8x | t5_2to41 | 209 | JBroo: TIFU by passing gas on my friend
Ok so this happened about 13 years ago. To give you some context, myself and four friends were living together, freshly moved out of our parents homes in a student complex. We were all between 18 and 20 and as many students do, we partied.. a lot! Also being students we were often low on cash and at some point opted for no internet in favor of more beer money, and instead would go down to another friends apartment in the complex to use theirs.
So one late morning after a heavy night of partying and drinking bourbon and coke, I went down to check my internet banking at our friends apartment. The people who lived there were out shopping and one of my room mates was quietly sitting on the couch using the internet. To help set the scene, this was a ground floor apartment and behind the couch was a large window where two of our other room mates were having a cigarette in the courtyard. I asked my friend if I could quickly use his laptop to check my banking and he happily obliged. He handed me the laptop and at that moment I felt a rumble in my tummy. This was no ordinary rumble I thought to myself, this was a huge cheek flapper, maybe the biggest I had ever felt. So I placed the laptop next to me and did what any young, dumb, hungover and probably stoned, student would do.. I stood in front of my friend sitting on the couch and turned around. I pulled my pants down, bent over and braced myself for potentially the biggest phart I had ever done! (just so you know this wasn't a normal occurrence for me, this was the first and last time I ever bare ass pharted someone).
Then I let it rip. It was magnificent! The biggest release of gas I had ever done! It felt as if my ass was the size of a coke can. I could feel the edges of my anus flapping as I crop dusted all over my friend. I had a little chuckle to myself and began to turn around with a cheeky smirk on my face. But as I turned to see the reaction of my friend, the smirk was replaced by a look of shock as everything went slow motion. It was like a horror scene, it was too good to be true. There was shit everywhere! I quickly realized that the rumbling in my belly wasn't just gas, but booze poos from a night of too much bourbon. On his lap was the center of destruction, a thick circle of shit the size of a dinner plate. Surrounding that was like a shotgun blast of shit roughly two meters in diameter. There was a big dollop in the middle of the floor, medium sized pieces of shrapnel all over the couch, and an even scattering of small pieces of excrement propelled from my bum hole. As a curly piece of undigested bacon, from my cheap oven-pizza I had eaten the night before, hung precariously from a curtain, my friend and I locked eyes. He stared at me with a look of horror I will never forget. "What do I do?!" he exclaimed, as the trauma of what he just experienced began to set in.
Meanwhile our two other room mates on the other side of the window had just witnessed, with front row seats, me pull my pants down, bend over and shit with a shotgun spray all over our friend. They lost their minds and began laughing, jumping and screaming around the courtyard. I grabbed my friends outreached hands and helped him to his feet and with my pants still around my ankles we ran across the open courtyard and up the stairs to our apartment on the fourth floor.
Over the next few hours we all sat together in our lounge and could not stop laughing. Everyone was on their phones texting and calling their friends telling them what happened. Throughout that week we would constantly (and these days about once a year) remember what happened and uninterruptedly burst into laughter.
TL;DR Thought I had a massive phart brewing, turned out too good to be true and bare ass sharted all over my mate.
Cyb0rg-SluNk: Amazing story.
Is "phart" how the kids are spelling "fart" these days?
JBroo: Thanks! And no haha TIFU flags the word fart for some reason
Cyb0rg-SluNk: That's weird. I'm sure there must be plenty of TIFU stories that start with a fart.
It would be like banning the word "airplane" from r/AITA
thefourthone: > It would be like banning the word "airplane" from r/AITA
Haha please elaborate?
Cyb0rg-SluNk: I just mean; a lot of arsehole stories involve airplanes. People wanting to swap seats, arguments about annoying children, people invading other people's space etc.
If you banned the word "airplane" from AITA, you'd lose a lot of stories.
thefourthone: Okay, hehe i actually didn't know/realize that, that's kind of funny
| 7 | 29.857143 | |
1662436000 | 1662478790 | t3_x7067p | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking Gatorade was the name of a pokemon
[deleted]
TheCanuckler: I'm sorry but Bobopher..?
ExodusGravemind: Yeah exactly, we’re just gonna glide right past the Gatorade part and talk about this lads name
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1662436141 | 1662437460 | t3_x707u9 | t5_2to41 | 13 | TARDIS40TT: TIFU by accidentaly moving some files instead of copying
This happened literally about an hour ago. For context, I am in a university biochemistry lab and was looking at some images of cells taken by a microscope. These images were on a shared OneDrive that our whole class could access. Our group needed to use those images to generate some data, so in my infinite wisdom, I wanted to copy those files onto a shared folder for our group only. What I didn't realise, was that I could move things into and out of the folder, so by clicking "move", I **moved** those files into out group folder, instead of *copying* them.
I only realised this after double-checking, and quickly copied those files back in panic, while informing the lab supervisor. Unfortunately, the OneDrive folder now thinks **I** added those files, which is totally not suspicious at all.
Guess we're just gonna see how this plays out...
TL;DR tried to copy some files, but moved them instead. OneDrive now says that I added them. Totally not suspicious at all...
summertime_fine: as long as you moved them back idk what the big deal is?
TARDIS40TT: The problem is that it says I “created” the files in the folder, not the professor. I’m just worried people might think I’ve done something to them, which I haven’t (or at least, as far as I know)
summertime_fine: I think you're stressing yourself out and overthinking this whole thing. it's really not that big of a deal.
TARDIS40TT: Probably. Worst comes to worst they delete them and reupload the originals
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1662436390 | 1662441702 | t3_x70aso | t5_2to41 | 11 | vada_vada1948: TIFU by submerging myself in a hot tub
I was staying at my grandmother's for vacation. She's well off snd has a pool and hot tub. Naturally I decided it would be a great idea to take a dip in the hot tub.
I eventually decided to drunk my head under. It felt great. I remember wondering if what I was experiencing with my entire body submerged was similar to how a fetus felt inside the womb.
When I got out of the hot tub there was still some water in my left ear. No biggie, that's happened a few times and it's always relived itself within a few hours. I proceeded to take a shower and head to bed because I would be driving back 4 hours in the morning which luckily my grandmother was also generous enough to supply gas for.
In the morning after the water was still in my ear but it didn't hurt at all so I wasn't too concerned. It was a little annoying though so I manually opened my inner ear by pressing down on it and trying to let tye water out. I've done this a few times when the water wouldn't come out, like I've said this has been something that has occurred before. The water didn't drain it but I thought it was no big deal so I went and contained as usual.
After waking up the following morning my ear began to throb in pain. The pain wasn't severe but I could tell that my hearing was more muffled than usual when water got in it. My mother helpfully suggested using hydrogen peroxide to loosen any wax that may be in my inner ear.
Biggest. Fucking. Mistake. The hydrogen peroxide was bubbling and fizzling in my ear but I didn't feel any relief so I again opened up my inner ear to let some inside and hopefully let everything out
That obviously didn't go so well and the hydrogen peroxide also got stuck. At this point it was hurting pretty bad but not enough to severely bother me so I just went to bed hoping it would be over in the morning.
Hah. Hah. Hah. Wrong move. I'm not sure what I should've done but whatever it was, shouldn't have been that. Today my ear is throbbibg and it has spread to my throat. It makes me want to cry but I'll just have to endure because our insurance sucks. I'm not sure what will happen but I can no linger hear out of it and it's making me want to die. 3 pills of 200mg ibeprofen is barely touching it anymore and I'm writing this because I can't sleep.
I've considered checking myself into a mental health hospital because the pain is actually driving me insane but I feel like that would be dramatic- plus like I said our insurance sucks and I'd likely be in thousands of dollars of debt.
I don't care what happens anymore, I just hope it stops. I will be updating when/if anything happens.
TL;DR said fuck it and chilled in a hot tub, ended up wanting to die from the pain it's been causing in my ear
bobstro: Just go to a CVS walk-in clinic or other urgent care. You'll pay a few bucks, but definitely less than the emergency room visit you'll be facing if you don't get it under control. And drain your ears when you get out of the shower, pool, or tub.
vada_vada1948: Are you sure it's only a few bucks? I've never heard of that being a possibility in the US. Even my monthly medicine is expensive.
bobstro: I should have written "... compared to an ER visit". I just looked and it looks like an earache diagnosis will be $99-140. Meds will probably cost extra. It sucks, but I think you're at the point where the longer you wait, the more it will cost.
Definitely check out [healthcare.gov](https://www.healthcare.gov/apply-and-enroll/how-to-apply/) once you're feeling better. It's dangerous to be completely without insurance.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1662436845 | 1662946899 | t3_x70ghd | t5_2to41 | 6 | iloveeatingcheeseman: TIFU Bu attempting to kiss one of my best friends instead of communicating to him that i liked him.
This was actually on saturday and i keep having frequent panic attacks over it and i’m literally losing sleep over this even though my friend reassured me that it was okay… I feel like an awful person for this honesty and i might be blowing this out of proportion honestly but it’s hurting me in the inside. So on saturday i hung out with my friend , M(19) I’m (NB) 21 and we spent the whole day together and we’d hangout often. We would occasionally joke flirt and and play fight so i thought he was totally into me and so did my friends (that doesn’t excuse anything honestly) But at the end of the day we were in his car listening to Metal Gear 4 (a song from the sound track) And i kept on saying “i have something to tell you” and he was like “bruh tell me” and i just kept verbally shutting off. I was so nervous and anxious it’s like the words couldn’t escape my mouth. He continued to head bang after and my stupid ass decided to grab his face in attempt to kiss him and he pulled back so fast and said “WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN?!” after i shifted into a fetal position in the passenger seat with my head tucked into my knees and i kept apologizing over and over i was so scared. I was scared i hurt him or traumatized him. That’s the last thing i’d ever wanna do to anyone especially him. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my entire life honestly. I’m not embarrassed by the rejection but by how the situation went. I feel so awful about it. After i apologized several times he said “it’s okay wanna look at weezer memes?” i was literally a shaking mess.
TL;DR He told me that he wasn’t hurt or anything he just doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings and that’s totally understandable and fine. He did say he was bewildered and taken back a bit. I just wish i executed that another way. I really don’t want this to affect our friendship because he’s a really close friend of mine and i’m scared of losing him honestly. He did tell me that he needed to process the situation a bit more so i’m giving him some space at the moment but i really don’t wanna lose my friend i can’t stop crying about this situation. I can’t believe i did that.
Ironically during the day i told him that in high school a guy tried to kiss me and i slapped him in the face and I basically did the same shit i’m so ashamed of myself.
Formal_Gum: The fact that u went into fetal position manicly apologizing and making him comfort you when u just tried to kiss him unprovoked is kinda shitty tbh and giving victim complex. But I mean u shot ur shot ok fine, now the relationship is different, don’t throw a pity party for yourself
iloveeatingcheeseman: but the relationship between us is still the same so i’m not stressed anymore
Formal_Gum: Yes u almost assaulted him, even if it seems fine don’t take this lightly. Reflect on you actions and take them seriously. And also make sure he truly forgives u and doesn’t just feel like ur unhinged and gonna have a meltdown if he doesn’t say it’s ok
iloveeatingcheeseman: i talked about it with him again and he said that he’s just extremely flattered now😭😭
Formal_Gum: Honestly I think ur just rage baiting and if ur not helping u is beyond me so best of luck
iloveeatingcheeseman: rage bating? you’re so chronically online 😭
Obviously what i did was wrong and next time i’m gonna use my words. lesson learned but me literally having a trauma response in his car- that’s not my fault
Formal_Gum: As stated before, if you’re not rage baiting then u should be searching for real help offline with how u act/react. Best of luck
| 8 | 0.75 | |
1662437553 | 1662518934 | t3_x70p2b | t5_2to41 | 16 | ratatatouille-: TIFU by having my phone in my pocket at work
This happened today, albeit a couple hours ago. So I went to work as usual, blah blah blah. My shift ends and I go to pull my phone out of my pocket to clock out. The screen reads "iPhone unavailable". I had put my phone in my pocket with the screen towards my ass and essentially butt dialed my passcode in wrong so many times that I am now perma locked out.
Normally for me, not having access to my phone for a couple of days wouldn't be too much of a problem, but I moved cities a couple days ago and have no clue where anything is. Ngl I really haven't explored as everything I need is on campus. Thankfully I was eventually able to make it back to my dorm (took me quite a while driving somewhere I've never been) and I sat down at my computer trying to find some sort of solution or way to access my phone. Only solution the internet gave me was to go to an apple store and have my phone factory reset. Which wouldn't be ideal because my phone hasn't been backed up in probably a year or so (bye bye vacation pictures and all my passwords), but at this point I just need my phone back so I can clock into work and contact people, so I guess I'm off to the apple store tomorrow after my classes.
But I only thought it was that easy. HAHAHA the universe once again laughs in my face. Problem number two; the nearest apple store to where I am is 5 hours away and I would have no way to navigate myself there. (It really was a great idea of me to go to university in the middle of nowhere). I live in the middle of nowhere, I don't have any friends or family that can help me, and the ones that can I can't reliably contact. This has beyond stressed me out and I don't know what to do anymore. Never thought I'd say this, but I want to go home.
TL;DR, My phone is locked indefinitely and the only way to unlock it is to go to an apple store, but the closest one is 5 hours away.
abbassav: How are you typing this? Also on dire situations like this you should buy a spare phone (something cheap but which gets the work done) this is why i never discard old phones (which are just old but work well as a backup)
1dabaholic: a computer?
abbassav: Yeah i realised that after commenting, total brain fart moment
| 4 | 4 | |
1662430456 | 1662522499 | t3_x6y96s | t5_2to41 | 662 | gemini8200: TIFU by using my rug as an exercise mat
In true TIFU fashion, this was not today (but 5 days ago). I recent got back into working out at home with YouTube videos. I do a lot of HIIT-style workouts, so I tend to work up a sweat. It was making the vinyl flooring quite slick. I got the bright idea to use the giant living room rug as my exercise mat. Started out great — I wasn’t slipping in my own sweat and the extra cushion on the floor was nice. I did a 45 min long routine that involved a lot of forearm planking and ab work. After I finished, I took a shower and realized my forearms kind of hurt. I shrugged it off. A few hours later, reality set. All the friction with the rug during the workout gave me horrendous matching rug burns on each forearm. The entire next day, the exposed skin just throbbed. It’s been a few days and they’ve now formed giant scabs. Still super painful. I am now aware how often I use my forearms to roll over in bed, get off the couch, get out of the car, etc. I will invest in a yoga mat.
TL;DR - Got burned by YouTube
mojimonster_always: This is hilarious, not to sound mean. But that’s just funny to me because I’m imagining you using one of those rlly rough rugged carpets that you can barely sit on bcuz it hurts and you deciding that it would be a good idea to roll around in that for 45 min XD 😂😂🤣
gemini8200: Oh, there is definitely some hilarious hindsight there!
EmEmPeriwinkle: Please keep an eye out for infections. I've seen people get foot mold on thier face after doing the dirty on a rug.
Doyouspeak: I'm sorry what 🤢
EmEmPeriwinkle: Lol not even the worst I've seen I'm sure I could come up with grosser things if I tried to pull things out of the vault.
| 6 | 110.333333 | |
1662437679 | 1662449952 | t3_x70qm9 | t5_2to41 | 10 | GirlInLife: TIFU by breaking down in Geo
TW I started crying and shaking because my intrusive thoughts got so bad and my teacher noticed. He helped me out but I was still shaking.i couldn't stop. I'm at home now and I still feel bad. I feel like my problems aren't big enough and that I didn't deserve the help. My best friend kept asking me 'what's wrong' and I eventually told her about my parents, suicidal thoughts and self harm. I've been clean from self harm for 12 days and I don't want to break the streak. My year co-ordinator and my teacher couldn't get me to tell the truth although they are both amazing people. I know they are concerned and just want to understand me but there was too much going on. If you are my WHG teacher, I'm sorry.
I just didn't want anyone to be concerned for me but at the same time I did. I want attention for my problems but when I actually get the attention, I shut down and won't say a word apart from I'm sorry because I feel bad.
It's my fault because if I just said how I felt, I'd get the help I need and I'd be absolutely fine but I'm not. I still feel the same. Numb, depressed and guilty.
TL;DR: I didn't tell the truth after breaking down so no one realises I need help.
MadRollinS: Do you feel better having written this out? I hope so. You deserve whatever help you need and it's wonderful that there are people who care about you and want to help you.
Good job on the 12 day streak! You didn't FU at all. You're just having a hard time atm. It's hard to be vulnerable with people. If you can trust them, I think you can try again tomorrow. If not, call a resource line or support line. There maybe group support available online as well where you can stay anonymous and still get help.
You're doing the best that you can and that is good enough. Take care and be well
GirlInLife: Yeah, it felt better to get it out there. Thank you!
MadRollinS: There maybe a reddit sub that would be helpful to you. And you could help others and see how we really aren't ever alone.
SatPixel: I'd recommend r/mentalhealth. Really nice people there who are always trying to help you. Quick note, if noone replies to your posts, it's because the community is huge and sometimes there are just too many posts. I posted a few questions myself (alt account) and got super demotivated when noone replied until someone told me how busy the community really is.
Worth the try and really helped me out. It sometimes just feels good to type your problems out and know that someone read it and wanta to help you....
| 5 | 2 | |
1662437992 | 1662709119 | t3_x70u8t | t5_2to41 | 73 | deplorable_butt: TIFU by having my cum towel discovered
Obligatory this happened over 10 years ago.
I started masturbating and watching porn as a preteen. I was having the time of my life. I didn’t want to walk around late at night to grab and throw away toilet paper constantly in case I woke my mom.
So instead I folded up a long series of paper towels and used that as my cum disposal. Instead of throwing it away I just kept it under my bed.
I used it for a few months. One day someone came over with the their small dog. After a couple hours the dog ran into the kitchen with my mom and I. It had the paper towel in its mouth. She exclaimed, “What’s that?!” I said I don’t know and quickly grabbed it out of the dog’s mouth and threw it away.
The paper towel was… crispy and yellow at that point.
TLDR: A dog found the paper towel I was cumming into and my mom saw it.
EspeciallyGeneric: Can't believe we're getting cum box/wall sequels to this day.
Njorord: I'm sorry, cum WALL?
skushi08: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6jhf15/tifu_by_ejaculating_in_my_bed/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
EspeciallyGeneric: Different one, but that's also a different cum wall
[I was thinking of this](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ey5lhn/tifu_by_letting_mom_find_the_cum_wall/)
| 5 | 14.6 | |
1662441800 | 1662448923 | t3_x720qg | t5_2to41 | 43 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a girl cry then getting her tackled
[deleted]
Thud2: You are the problem here as evidenced by the fact that you say "even though I despise her we are fairly close" and were openly discussing how much you dislike her in public, which is a shitty way to be.
Arcturion: The only way he can still be close to the girl he despises is if the girl doesn't know about his hate. Which their behaviour in the elevator (OP's mortification, her tears) seems to suggest. OP is pretty sneaky at being outwardly pally with the girl while inwardly seething and stabbing her back.
Holy sheet, OP is toxic.
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1662443565 | 1662466655 | t3_x72j8w | t5_2to41 | 43,267 | chamgirl: TIFU by giving shower head.
I (31F) was having a shower and my husband (34M) decided to join. Although it’s normal for us to shower together, we have to share a standing shower with minimal space so it can get pretty cramped. Things started getting a little steamy, and not just because the hot water. I decided to kneel down and give him head. I’ll spare the details because I’m definitely not an erotic writer (sorry!). We finished and he reached around me for a hug with a smile on his face, and then whispered, “I’m going to pass out” in my ear.
In the seconds before the next series of events, my first thought was that he was joking. Then his head hit my shoulder and I was left with a 6’3 man’s full weight in my arms. The shower is wet, everything is slippery, and the next thing I know is the weight of both of our bodies crashing into the shower door, which opened, and out spilled my naked body. I look over - my hand is still supporting my husband’s head whose body is slumped inside the too-tiny shower. His eyes flutter open, realizing that he is on the floor of the shower and his wife is laying halfway outside of it. We both immediately get to each other and repeatedly asked “are you okay? I’m okay, are you okay?”.
Thankfully, neither one of us were really hurt. My husband bit his lip and I have a giant purple bruise across my butt cheek where I landed. He said he remembers having a long dream, even though he was only out for a few seconds. He compares it to when you’re about to die and you see your life flash before your eyes.
TL;DR - I gave my husband a blowjob in the shower. He climaxed, passed out, and we both collapsed in a naked mess, bruising my bum and our egos.
Gonadznstrife: Well... Even with the whole passing out business I'm sure he's still stoked he got shower head.
Just don't give him road head, the results could be tragic.
Shexuja: bump
SashaWoodson: You can still pass out after doing a bump of coke
Drongo11: Not the way i do bumps sir
Ricksterdinium: One does not simply use the nail anymore?
davidgrayPhotography: nah the only hardware store in my town closed a few months ago.
Unless you don't mean THAT kind of nail, in which case, he's a fictional cartoon character from Namek, so you can't really use him for coke
InternationalBunch22: Bro he’s talking about your toenails. You know unless you drive Manuel or something just use your left foot to take bumps.
davidgrayPhotography: Nah Manuel is more than capable of driving himself and doesn't need me to cart him around.
SarcasticallyNow: Well clearly in Mario Cart performance depends on a sinus bump.
| 10 | 4,326.7 | |
1662445273 | 1662449339 | t3_x730jo | t5_2to41 | 4 | No_Appearance4468: TIFU by drinking my team leads’s milkshake
Went to the office fridge and was pretty excited to see the regular COKE, APPE JUICE then all of a sudden I was like ”Yayyy today they have free smoothies as well”
I drank it and threw it in the trash can!!
The day passed my team lead came to me whining, “Somebody drank my smoothie”
I be like “FUCK” Acted cool in front of him and said,” Oh really how come?” He says:” I have been bringing it for years now, this never happened” then goes on, “But how can someone drink it?” Me: thinking what to say :3
TL:DR
**\*While acting cool\*** so he doesn’t get suspicious Added: ”Do you have a name on it?”My heart was beating fast :3 like what if he takes out the footage or something, will I be in jail " :D
TL:DR
How idiot am I, but I pretended I don’t care and said “Dude start putting some Name tags now” And then I did an early pack up at 4:20 PM. I hope that was not awkward at all!!
TL:DR
oldfatboy: I dont believe you, you knew it was someone else's.
Why would they just get one?
You stole it and you know you did.
No_Appearance4468:  How would I have known? I am new to the company.
Detective-Astatine: Technically you’re not innocent. You did in fact drink it then lie after the fact.
No_Appearance4468: I was scared, what if it affects my performance appraisal :o
Detective-Astatine: I’m honestly surprised that there wasn’t cameras. This affects you as a Homo sapien. This speaks to who you are as a person. Just be better.
| 6 | 0.666667 | |
1662448193 | 1662455306 | t3_x73tyf | t5_2to41 | 146 | Cosmixexe: TIFU - I just wanted to play Minecraft and instead saw my Aunt’s Nudes.
When I was (14M) remembered that I purchased Minecraft on my (26F) Aunt's iPhone a couple years back.
I asked her if I could sign in to her iCloud on my iPhone so I can download the game without having to rebuy it, She gave me her info, I signed in to her iCloud and went to the AppStore to install the game. It wasn't working?
I soon realized that I signed into the iCloud Backup by accident instead of the AppStore, I corrected that mistake and began to install the game.
Moments later I received a notification from iCloud saying Camera roll backup is complete.
Out of curiosity I checked my camera roll and what I witnessed changed my demeanor.
It was over 50 nude photos and videos, Ranging from my aunt masturbating, playing with her sex toys, and multiple videos of her having sex with her boyfriend.
I saw every photo and watched every video.
Looking back on it now I can't bare to stomach how truly disgusting I actually was and how much I fucked myself up.
All I wanted to do was play Minecraft and instead was met with something that changed my perception.
Edit: I knew I was gonna spark controversy when writing this, just to let people know I am 22 now I have gone to therapy and keep in mind this was my first time seeing any kind of sexual content
TL;DR: accidentally backed up my aunts iCloud on my phone and saw every last one of her nudes when I was 14 years old.
DannyMThompson: How old was your aunt at the time?
Cosmixexe: 26
DannyMThompson: So despite not being able to stomach it now. How did you feel when you saw it at 14?
Cosmixexe: Well being a 14 year old kid and not having the talk about “sex” or exploring anything on the internet to do with that nature yet. It was shocking that the first time seeing it was someone I knew and it was very awkward and confusing to say the least, the feelings I had were dire.
DannyMThompson: Oh that's wild.
I can't imagine that being my first time seeing sex.
As a kid we always found pornos in the woods, we would get hold of videos somehow and we were tought sex education at 11.
I honestly can't comprehend how that must have felt.
This is why I disagree with wrapping kids in cotton wool and shielding them completely from sex. I can imagine that was kind of traumatic.
Mode-Klutzy: I was introduced by a neighbor about a year and a half older than me, I was introduced and started with that whole “free the nipple” thing and I was 12. This was before instagram got sensitive a year or so later. And kid, don’t be afraid as your curiosity, commitment, and eager studying begins. It’s life, and it’s also life. You are one among millions and millions of people your age and older. Some introduced at say 11 and some introduced at 18, etc. and some were self thought at 13, who knows?!
| 7 | 20.857143 | |
1662448446 | 1662485593 | t3_x73wie | t5_2to41 | 401 | ohotadima: TIFU by brushing my teeth with a filthy toothbrush
Happened this morning a few hours ago, and I'm still cringing.
I woke up and went to the bathroom to clean my teeth. First days of work after a long vacation, I feel really sleepy in the mornings. So this is when my FU begins. I see my toothbrush laying in the sink, grab it, wash a little, put some toothpaste and start brushing my teeth. And then it hits me. Memories start rushing through my head like in slowmo:
1. We head to our two months vacation with family;
2. Realize that we have forgotten a bottle of milk on the kitchen counter;
3. During vacation I buy a new toothbrush;
4. Come back from vacation and see that the bottle has blasted and the whole counter is covered with a layer of dried stinky milk;
5. We start washing it off with wet rugs, the stench is devastating;
6. My wife takes my old toothbrush and washes the counter with it, using dozens of various chemicals to get rid of the odor;
7. After the counter is cleaned, my wife proceeds using said toothbrush for various chores: to mess with some stains, to clean boots, etc.
So here I am. Standing with that filthy toothbrush in my mouth looking at my desperate reflection in the mirror and at my new toothbrush on the bathroom shelf.
I don't know if my wife used that toothbrush to clean the rust from the toilet and at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
TL;DR: Brushed my teeth with a toothbrush which my wife used for cleaning around the house.
ana_portugal86: 
THESILENTPRINCESS06: 
Jameschoral: 
| 4 | 100.25 | |
1662449842 | 1662533181 | t3_x749w2 | t5_2to41 | 190 | sum1fromhell: TIFU by smelling a woman's undies for the first time
For context im 19 and rn im spending vacations at a friends house. His sister's older than me.
It happened yesterday when i went to the bathroom for a quick wash i saw that her laundry was in a corner of the bathroom and with just a glance i could see her bikini panties lying there.
Now she's hot, super hot for me. But i dont have any sexual interests coz that could ruin my relationship with her and my bestf, but I'm a curious guy so i thought maybe i should check out what the fuss about smelling panties is.
And ofcourse my curiosity got the better of me and i did it.
I did not like it and the smell is just hanging around in my head making me feel nauseating as well.
Now im disgusted with myself for doing that, it makes me feel so cheap that i dont wanna see my face in the mirror again.
Ik this is a creepy thing to do obv but i didn't know that until i did it and i understand why it is.
Tl;dr I dont know how i can redeem myself after doing such a bad thing.
JohnnyRussian7: Take comfort in that, now having tried it, you know you are NOT the kind of pervert that enjoys smelling ladies underwear.
HairyNutsackNumber9: dont insult my hobby
_King_Crab_: What a delightful username
HairyNutsackNumber9: thanks :)
| 5 | 38 | |
1662453229 | 1662462994 | t3_x7561b | t5_2to41 | 53 | IntoTheDogHouseIGo: TIFU the name of our dog
English is not my girlfriend's first language and I decided to have some fun with it when we recently adopted our first dog. We were brainstorming names and I suggested "Fellatio" as a joke. My gf liked the name so much, she hugged the dog and said "I love you, Fellatio!". Her reaction was so wholesome, I didn't have the heart to tell her what the name meant like I initially planned.
I'll tell her the next day, I said. My gf posted photos of our dog on social media and mentioned the name without having any idea what it meant. I thought for sure someone was gonna comment on the name, but nope. People loved the photos and no one said shit about the name. It was weird, but I assumed the word fellatio must not be that common. So I let it be.
Fellatio, aka our little hellhound, has been enjoying his new home (and name) for a couple of weeks now, and to be honest, it actually became less and less awkward for me to say Fellatio whenever I was trying to get his attention, even in public. That being said, the truth came out this morning when my girlfriend called me at work to inform me that she and her teenage sister took Fellatio for a walk and the sister asked if my gf was "sucking zee cock" when we named our dog.
My first reaction was to laugh, which made my gf even more upset, especially when she told me that her sister advised her to Google search "Fellatio". The results were not good. I had no time to explain because my gf hung up the phone. I'm still at work. I think it's safe to say I'm sleeping on zee couch tonight.
**Tl;dr Convinced my non English speaking gf to name our new dog "fellatio" without her knowing what it meant. She found out the meaning of the word this morning after weeks of using it as our dog's name and now she's fucking pissed at me.**
Shadow_Galecross: You are a madlad but you could easilly change the dog's name to Gelatio without losing the name's soul
Shadow_Galecross: Jokes aside , I recommend you to be sincere with her. I think she would be glad if you took a moment to explain everything to her , being strong in how you couldn't dare to break such a wholesome moment for her and saying that , even while you are a complete a\*\*hole (I'm not insulting you, and I don't consider you an a\*\*hole , she may have thought that of you after bursting on a laughter) , you are genuinelly sorry about all of this and just wanted to preserve her happiness
| 3 | 17.666667 | |
1662454894 | 1662628778 | t3_x75lx6 | t5_2to41 | 58 | gaeyboi69: TIFU by searching up soapy titty pics on my school account
I (16m) saw a tweet saying “send your bf a soapy titty pic he might be feeling down” so me being bored decided to have a look at it myself I opened google chrome ,not incognito mode as it was gonna be a quick search,and it said safe search on confused I see if this is a settings issue. Nope I look at the upper right corner and see that my school account was logged in I quickly deleted all my search history and signed out. I’ve also have like 10 pornhub tabs and the safe search notification has popped up but I didn’t think nothing of it now I’m wondering if I was also watching phub on my school account too.Don’t know if the school is gonna question me about this but still gave me scare
TL;DR: Searched up soapy titty pics on my school account got freaked out
Shadowlance23: The IT department is probably too busy to care about a one off titty pic lookup. Also, incognito mode only stops the url and cookies being saved in the browser. Your activity can and will still be logged in the school systems.
TheIronicBurger: I knew someone at my school who used his school email for his phub account and got caught pretty quickly lol
Mode-Klutzy: We all know that we all have done this and have our throw away accounts ;)
| 4 | 14.5 | |
1662455947 | 1662458761 | t3_x75wbd | t5_2to41 | -3 | MenuAdministrative42: tifu by texting another girls boyfriend
I (18f) have been friends with this guy (19) since 6th grade and we briefly tried dating freshman year but it didn’t go anywhere, i’d hardly call it a relationship.
Recently me and this guy have started consistently texting again after I told him to not talk to me anymore because I didn’t want his his girlfriend mad. Me and his girlfriend had a slight friendship around the time that me and him “dated” and then they started dating after we decided that being friends was best.
He sent a couple of flirty texts and I shut it down every single time and reminded him that he has a girlfriend and we would continue with a normal conversation. Last night i fell asleep around 8pm and woke up a couple hours ago at 2am and had four missed calls and about twenty texts and basically, his girlfriend saw a flirty text he sent me and said “she can have you”. Him and I believe that the missed calls are from her but we’re not sure. He told me he doesn’t want me involved so i shouldn’t text her but I want to explain my side to her and let her know that I never intended to make it seem like i was a home-wrecker. Everytime he tried to flirt, I shut it down.
My solution was to have him block me and cut ties with me and make amends with his girlfriend. His reasoning for not doing that was “You’re the only person that I can trust with my feelings, i can’t even talk to my own mom about this stuff” but I am pretty adamant about him blocking me because no matter how badly he trusts me, he should trust his girlfriend more.
The reason I didn’t block him first was simply just because I’m a girl so I was giving him things to talk to her about and how to explain it to her without making her even more upset. It hurts that my friendship of 6-7 years will be ending but at this age, you’re dating for marriage, not just for fun anymore so his girlfriend should be his top priority. I let him know that no matter what that I’m here for him and will always be, but I want every message that he sends me to be able to be seen by his girlfriend so she can understand that it’s platonic. It’s just that if I’m the only person he can trust with his feelings, if he’s hiding texts then it sounds way worse than it is.
He has a lot of feelings that he can’t talk about and that I won’t put on the internet but they’re super personal so i can see why i’m the only person he trusts because we’ve been friends for so long but if i were in her shoes, i couldn’t imagine my boyfriend feeling more comfortable with another female. I’m not sure what to do.
TL:DR
I was texting this guy that i have been friends with for years and dated for maybe a week four years ago and he got caught texting me and upset his girlfriend but won’t block me because I’m one of his longest friendships and the only person he feels he can talk to.
koozy407: Girl, if he loves this chick you need to back off. But honestly it sounds more like a predictable hallmark movie and y’all got feelings for each other.
MenuAdministrative42: i promise i have no feelings for him, i just got out of a year long relationship and am no where near ready for feelings for another man. I want to back off but he recently had his good friend commit and he’s been very depressed ever since and he doesn’t have anyone else he trusts to talk to. i told him multiple times to block me but he doesn’t want to.
koozy407: Idk it just sounds messy. I don’t see this chick ever being okay with you which will make it hella hard to be friends. He SHOULD be able to lean on his girl. Sounds like he needs to sort some stuff out. Sucks you being in the middle tho!
MenuAdministrative42: i 100% agree that his girl should be the one he goes to, i hate being in the middle but once he’s done opening up, i’m just going to end the friendship and let them sort it out.
koozy407: Make sure it’s worth ending the friendship before cutting ties but only you can truly know what’s best for you, good luck
| 6 | -0.5 | |
1662459898 | 1662464479 | t3_x76zw3 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU because I wasn’t wearing panties underneath my short skirt
[removed]
thatcoolbisexual: I think it's a little unhygienic tbh. Like.. sitting down in public places where other people sit and just.. why would you show strangers (and CHILDREN) your vagina
OMGlookatthatrooster: Won't someone please think of the children?!
thatcoolbisexual: The children.. and me. I don't want to see people's privates in public and i don't wanna sit on someone's body fluids on public seats😭
OMGlookatthatrooster: You sit ON a skirt, even if it is super short.
thatcoolbisexual: Not really tho, it may cover your butt but depending on how you sit stuff still may be uncovered. (How I know this: short skirt wearer)
OMGlookatthatrooster: My point exactly. Its depending on how you sit. Short skirt =/= automatically nasty.
Anyhow, I don't know why I'm defending an OnlyFans ad....
thatcoolbisexual: Short skirt AND no underwear in a public place = nasty.
| 8 | 1.75 | |
1662461618 | 1662485897 | t3_x77hix | t5_2to41 | 4,109 | fmexposefu: TIFU by forgetting my friend with benefits has a flatmate.
This happened last night, when I (18F) was staying overnight with one of my FWBs, who I'll call Jake (21M).
After we were done having sex Jake fell asleep. Not long after he did I got out of bed to put the condom in the bin and then went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I was very tired at this point and decided not to put my clothes back on. This was about 1 in the morning.
There I was just standing there in the kitchen sipping my water when I heard a door open. I thought it was just Jake so I didn't think anything of it (it's not like he hasn't seen everything anyway).
Then another (fully clothed) guy walks in. Now I remember. Jake has a flatmate, who I'll call Darren.
I had seen Darren once before when I was at Jake's flat, but that was just in passing. I had completely forgot about him. Now he has just walked in on me totally naked in his own kitchen.
At this point I decided to just play it casual. He asked what I was doing and I said I was just staying over with Jake. Then I smiled, said good night and put the glass in the sink and headed back to Jake's room like nothing was happening. I am still absolutely mortified.
TL;DR I was spending the night with a FWB and went to get a glass of water without getting dressed. His flatmate who I'd forgot about saw me in my birthday suit.
BjoerBaer: "One of my FWB" guess its must be hard to keep a healthy memory while getting railed this much.
Edit: I guess I can relate. My Exes used to forget everything that happened during sex, litterly got me the nickname Alzheimer Dick.
ObligationPlastic589: Lol judge much.
No surprise to see 'why am I not getting tinder matches' as your preoccupation.
You will be on incel forums in no time.
BjoerBaer: Lol idk why you are trash talking me. I am not even slutshaming. I can even relate to the girls poor memory. Calling me an incel or about to be is just rude.
ObligationPlastic589: I am not trash talking. It reads like shaming.
BjoerBaer: Did you never had the moment that you can't remember shit after an orgasm?
I am totally honest. If you have a lot of good sex it is hard to keep a healthy memory.
I use to overthink and get depressed. Masturbation is like a reset button to forget what ever bothers you. Sex + orgasm hits harder and makes you forget stuff.
gastrognom: What are you even talking about? Where did OP show any signs of a bad memory?
BjoerBaer: Litterly in the posts title.
gastrognom: Why did you quote "one of my FWBs" like that though? Weird take either way.
BjoerBaer: It implies there are more? Like she has lots of sex what I am responding to?
gastrognom: Got you.
BjoerBaer: Ok.
| 12 | 342.416667 | |
1662464411 | 1662496181 | t3_x78cia | t5_2to41 | 114 | LitteringAnd17: TIFU by accidentally spicing up make-up sex.
Wife and I had been kinda off all day. After finally getting some us time late at night, she asked if I wanted to go upstairs to “make-up”. I did.
Now, I had made dinner which included several hot peppers. I had washed my hands at least 3 times between dinner and the trek upstairs.
She used some mouthwash, as did I put of courtesy, and washed my hands again.
I then drank water throughout foreplay and before.
To get things going a bit quick, I decided to lick my finger to add some moisture to the equation.
That’s where I fucked up.
Immediately she asked what I last touched, citing a sudden burning.
Fun time came to a halt.
Not sure if it was pepper residue or mouthwash.
And after attending to the searing pain, we cuddled and giggled about it.
Make-up=complete, just not the way I anticipated.
TL:DR Jalepeños and mouthwash make for a good way to end any sexual encounter quickly.
Stevethecatlol: As someone who eats a lot of spicy food, capsaicin sticks to everything, water will not move it much if not just make it worse. Milk, however, has chemical called casein, which breaks it down. Sounds weird but... IF, this happens again. Rinse and spit out milk as well as rinse hands THEN wash with dish soap. Must spit out milk or you're just swallowing the capsaicin.
I've had a few accidents like this as well 😂
rynum033: Casein is actually a protein in the milk. Which makes me wonder if you mix up a glass of casein protein powder would it be extra effective at cutting the capsaicin faster or more effectively?
Quick_DMG: As you would be using a pure solution of casein, then yes, providing the amount of casein in the milk isn't enough to break down all the capsaicin immediately.
Imagine it like a hoard of people lining up for a band signing (people are capsaicin, band is casein). One signer, every person is pushing and shoving trying to get their shit signed.
Clone the band members and have a bunch of signers, everyone walks up at once, all signed at once, all leave at once.
rynum033: A modern solution for a modern problem!
| 5 | 22.8 | |
1662464636 | 1662472153 | t3_x78f48 | t5_2to41 | 310 | [deleted]: TIFU By gifting a friend an expensive bottle of whiskey.
[deleted]
frannyfranfran5: Omg, i was worried she drank like a $30,000 bottle of whiskey. But it was a $3,000-$4,000 bottle.
EvidenceOfInnocence: It was this year's release and the only bottle i had of her birth year. Not to mention i wouldn't be sending a 30k bottle via post.
frannyfranfran5: Understandably.
When you said “down payment on a house” my heart sank, thinking it was *tens of thousands*.
3k is still a lot of money though. She should have known better if she knew you were a collector.
EvidenceOfInnocence: Well, with one less bottle on the market the price has just gone up a fraction. The idea was to hold onto it as a future investment, ageing as she does.
I send her a bottle every year, normally a tasty macallan but nothing crazy as i know she likes to drink. Just being a milestone i figured I'd do something special..
At least i get a funny story out of it.
frannyfranfran5: So wait, how much did you spend on the bottle in the first place?
EvidenceOfInnocence: Around £3000 with the intention to let it gather dust.
frannyfranfran5: Thats *a lot* of money to spend on a friend’s birthday gift.
Are you in love with her?
EvidenceOfInnocence: I didn't initially purchase it for her, I got it to add to my portfolio of booze and had a "ah, fuck it" moment of kindness.
No, it's my best friend who I've known for decades and I've only recently been in a position to start giving back to the people who've helped get me to where i am today.
throwawaysbacct1: You’ve accomplished , definitely sounds like she had a fun time drinking it
| 10 | 31 | |
1662466251 | 1662467446 | t3_x78yzw | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: tifu by busting my ass in front of a cat-caller
[deleted]
The_Cold_White_Light: So a man asking you a question is a cat call now?
bbyimbleeding: why would u disturb someone w headphones on to ask where they stay.. after I have him the cig I put my headphones on & made it clear I didn’t wanna be talked to but he kept going. u can tell when a person isn’t just trying to have a nice conversation, believe me
The_Cold_White_Light: I don't doubt that he made you uncomfortable or that he was persistent. Catcalling typically means shouting at you or whistling. Something loud and obnoxious. I'm just wondering if the definition now means any unwanted attention at all or if it still means the same thing.
bbyimbleeding: you’re right. I made a clarification, he was trying to get my attention from down the street but I just stared up & didn’t look at him. Then came right up to me.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1662469186 | 1662471935 | t3_x7a0bl | t5_2to41 | 117 | YoghurtSafe1577: TIFU by getting kicked out before I starter Sixth Form
around February a girl and I got kicked out of a sixth form for bringing half a spliff in (left in my coat pocket), and so I emailed the current sixth form about my situation where they said i needed to wait until the next academic year to enroll
fast forward til now, where ive got a part time job and was anticipating a fresh start. They called me in for an interview as they do with everyone else, but instead of telling the truth, I said that I left on my own accord (which I was told I could say by the previous school as they didn't formally kick me out).
i went to pick up my ID today, in which it wasn't there, and I was taken into a noise suppressed pod where I was told that because i had broken the code of conduct I was therefore not allowed to enroll and there was nothing I could do
TL;DR: got kicked out from one sixth form for a spliff, lied and said i left on my own accord (was told i could by the previous sixth) and was denied a place at the other sixth
ObligationPlastic589: Sounds fair.
You should think about whether it was just the little bit of spliff.
I doubt that a sixth form would kick out someone who was respectful and did the work if they found a bit of spliff on them.
YoghurtSafe1577: i got good grades at gcse and had alright grades in their sixth form, but the person who i was caught with has always been the naughty shit type ever since secondary onwards
ObligationPlastic589: Kids get caught all the time with a bit of spliff. It is usually only the ones they are waiting for an excuse to get rid of who disappear though.
YoghurtSafe1577: true, and i only have myself to blame. let's just hope i get accepted into another sixth ive applied to
ObligationPlastic589: Good luck.
| 6 | 19.5 | |
1662470932 | 1662490001 | t3_x7ao4q | t5_2to41 | 507 | crystala12: tifu by having a threesome
[removed]
boones_farmer: Obligatory LPT for group sex gone wrong stories. First rule of group sex (any sex really, but it's especially important in group sex) is that anyone at any time has the right to stop everything for any reason.
If someone in the group is new to it, it's good to just stop things early on as practice. I promise that it will in no way "ruin the mood" or anything like that. Instead it will make everyone way more comfortable, and willing to ask for things they want or stop things they don't, and help ensure that everyone has a good time. It will also tell you early on if someone has a problem with stopping, and if they do you really should not continue because you're \*really\* rolling the dice at that point, just hoping that they don't start doing something you're not comfortable with.
crystala12: Thanks for the advice. We just really wanted to make her feel comfortable which in result made us forget how to say no. We will be better prepared next time.
jesse950: The safe word is pineapple 🍍
AwsumO2000: Okay, SHOVE THE PINEAPPLE
jesse950: Little Nicky Hitler Pineapple scene comes to mind
| 6 | 84.5 | |
1662469359 | 1662516312 | t3_x7a325 | t5_2to41 | 48 | OneOrgasmIsEnough: TIFU when I (25m) convinced my gf (22) not to delete a voicemail greeting she made during sex
Last night I made my gf cum for the first time in our 2 year relationship. She warned me when we first started dating that it was almost impossible for her to orgasm. She said for some reason it was difficult to cum in her teens and it only became more challenging in her 20s, which is where we are now. I had no idea how bad it was until I eventually used every method imaginable and she still didn't cum. For the record, my gf never complained about our sex life and she never put pressure on me to make her orgasm, but I made an oath to the gods of love that I will make it happen, come what may.
Last night I proposed a random sex idea. Something that might add an adventurous element to our sex life. I suggested that my gf and I create a voicemail greeting on our phones while we're fucking. Something like *sex noises* can't come to the phone right now *sex noises* currently trying to cum *sex noises* I'll get back to you as soon as he/she is done using me. My gf thought it was silly at first, especially considering the limited time window for creating voicemail greetings, but she became more excited when I mentioned the thrill of someone potentially listening to that, even though I made it clear we would delete those voicemails afterwards.
We made multiple new voicemail greetings on both of our phones during sex. It didn't start off as sexy as I imagined due to the stop/start element of having to make new voicemails over and over, but once we found a rhythm, it was all systems go and it was hot. My gf said she was cumming during one of the billion voicemails she made on her phone. It was amazing and totally unexpected. What made it even better was the fact that we had documented evidence of her first orgasm in literally years. I called my gf like a thousand times that night just to hear her "I'm cumming" voicemail. I begged her to keep the voicemail greeting on her phone for at least one day before she deleted all the evidence like she was planning to do. She was against it for obvious reasons, but I asked her to do it for me.
When my gf eventually agreed to keep her voicemail greeting, albeit until tonight, I instructed her not to answer her phone if I called throughout the day. My sole purpose was to proudly relive the orgasm through that voicemail. I called my gf several times while we were both at work. I was being annoying as fuck, I know, but I couldn't get enough. My gf didn't answer any of my calls except one. The one she used to express her anger towards me. Apparently she got so used to me calling repeatedly that she stopped checking her phone whenever it vibrated. One of the missed calls was from her brother-in-law. My gf was convinced he heard the voicemail and she blamed me for it.
I'm not used to hearing my gf lose her temper on the phone. She fucking scared me. I'm beginning to feel like her orgasm unlocked Hellraiser himself.
TL:DR To spice things up in the bedroom I convinced my gf to create a sexy voicemail greeting while we were having sex. Thanks to my insistence that she keep the voicemail greeting for my enjoyment, she missed a call from her brother-in-law today and now there is a very big possibility that he heard her voicemail. Whether he did or did not, my gf is not happy with me at all.
Good_nuff: Maybe don’t coerce women for your sexual gratification. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but we’re people, not objects for your pleasure
RissoldeChocolate: Wtf, thats taking it a bit too far I think.
Good_nuff: Coercion is definitely taking it too far.
I’m glad we agree.
RissoldeChocolate: I'm not sure if reasonable argument can be aplied here... but I will still try!
What part of him trying his best to make his girlfriend sexually fulfilled and then simply insisting that she leaves the voice mail for a day as bit of a risky joke, means that she was coerced and that he is using her for selfish reasons... I trully dont understand how someone who doesnt have a fucked up ego could make such a connection... think about it deeply, and tell me how aren't you the one twisting a dumb embarassing joke into a manipulative and selfish act?!?!?
Good_nuff: She didn’t want to, he begged, she caved.
For his gratification.
Not sure how that’s misunderstood
RissoldeChocolate: Yesterday I invited a friend for coffee... he inicially said he wouldnt come but I insisted so he came.
I'm coerced my friend into doing somthing that he didnt want to just for my own gratification what a monster I must bw.
Good_nuff: Im disturbed how you don’t see adding a sexual element changes things.
RissoldeChocolate: I'm disturbed how adding a sexual element to things makes is automatically a forbiden bad thing, its okay to ask for something and its okay to convince someone to change their mind about something.
Good_nuff: Sexual coercion is not ok.
Period.
Leave me alone. You’re giving me rapey vibes
RissoldeChocolate: Fucking cringe, how dare you even suggest I'd do something like that. Get of the internet you pathetic excuse of a person.
RoseVII: Literally. When is it ever okay to call somebody rapey?
| 12 | 4 | |
1662474708 | 1662512633 | t3_x7c3uw | t5_2to41 | 1,982 | OkAdhesiveness9902: TIFU by eating raw beef
Well this actually happened a 2 weeks ago but i’ve been suffering the consequences. So i (19F) was scrolling through tik tok while making dinner for my family, as i’m scrolling i see a girl (can’t remember her username) eat raw beef and talk about these amazing health benefits. As it turns out i was making steak fingers (fried beef cut into strips) and decided i’d eat a little bit just to see how it tastes. I ended up eating 2 strips and it was good. A day or two later my stomach starts hurting and i brush it off, it’s been 2 weeks and stomach hurts worse now than before i’ve been keeping it a secret because it’s weird to tell someone i ate raw beef i think i have salmonella.
TL;DR: i ate raw beef 2 weeks ago and i think i gave myself salmonella
Opus-the-Penguin: Sounds more like a parasite than salmonella. See a doctor.
TheLegendJohnSnow: More likely to be E Coli. Could lead to HUS (basically your kidneys shutting down). See a doctor and get tested OP.
I_lie_like_a_lot: What does OP mean
ForayIntoFillyloo: Obviously Posthaste
I_lie_like_a_lot: Oh. I use OP as overpowered so my dumbass was so confused
deathsdoor1305: That name is kinda sus ngl
I_lie_like_a_lot: True, but idk how to change it so i'll js stick w it idc
I_lie_like_a_lot: LMFAO I'M BEING DOWNVOTED FOR THIS 😭
travioso304: You ain't lyin lol..
I_lie_like_a_lot: lmfao 😭
| 11 | 180.181818 | |
1662474959 | 1662485532 | t3_x7c7ma | t5_2to41 | 208 | MioisBeautiful: TIFU by drinking so much alcohol that I (24/F) sh*t the bed..literally
I (24F) decided to drink 6 drinks of alcohol because I was feeling really random. Well 12am rolls around and I decided to wind down and get ready for bed. I brush my teeth, shower, clean off my desk and listen to meditation music for about an hour. The hour passes and I have to go to the restroom which is normal as alcohol is a known diuretic. So I tinkle on the pot and clean up, and finslly lay down to sleep.
Everything seems well until I wake up from a "nightmare" where I was locked in a store with no running restroom. For some reason, I REALLY needed to go in that nightmare but I couldn't find an operating ladies or mens room, and I ended up pissing and shitting myself in front of tens of strangers.
I woke up this morning from the embarrassment only to find out that I pissed and shit myself in real world, my white panties were brown and there was almost a puddle of piss in my mattress. I'm at the store now buying some bleach and other cleaning supplies.so how's your day going?
Long story short dont drink if you can help it, and if for whatever reason you *must* drink then do so responsibily. Otherwise you might have a, ahem, mess to clean up after all is said and done.
**TL;DR** - I drank too much alcohol and pissed and shit myself as a result.
trey74: I think the funniest thing here is that you had "six drinks of alcohol".
Also, that mattress will never be clean again. You need to borrow/rent real cleaner that can suck out the urine.
MioisBeautiful: Im not going to lay in it, but im also not going to send a shitty mattress to the dump. That'd just be inconsiderate lol
PokeballSoHard: What a very odd perspective you have
MioisBeautiful: Why is it odd to attempt to clean something of bodily fluids before tossing it?
PokeballSoHard: By all means don't let me hamper what you're doing. But when I throw away trash I typically don't clean it first. Recycling is a different story.
MioisBeautiful: I cant thoroughly clean everything of course but im not gonna just trash something that could potentially be reused
GEM_95: Mine started to mold afterwards.... when I spilled some liquid... after dreaming.... and too much alcohol to be sane. So I don't know if you can really clean it if the liquid got already deep inside. Might be different if you have something like a waterbed 
Edit: Not something I'm proud about but at least do I no longer drink hard stuff since I was 21 years old.
President_Calhoun: > when I spilled some liquid... after dreaming...
I know that feeling. You wake up from a dream and reach clumsily for a glass of water and the next thing you know it's all over the place.
| 9 | 23.111111 | |
1662477801 | 1662478775 | t3_x7dch8 | t5_2to41 | 20 | Popular_Challenge517: TIFU by breaking up with my professor
[removed]
DobbyFreeElf35: Next time you're practicing creative writing, you need to use paragraphs.
smackahoe_chief: It's not her fault, her professor only wanted head and didn't do any teaching
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1662482273 | 1662497794 | t3_x7ddhj | t5_2to41 | 1,555 | DubLParaDidL: Seems like she's pretty self-centered. Entering without knocking is entitled behavior. Assuming the role play is about her is pretty looney. Sounds like she thinks everything is about her. You didn't FU at all, she did
Thyre_Radim: "Assuming the role play is about her is pretty looney"
Nah? OP admits they looked like them, were wearing clothing about something distinctive about her personality, and dyed her hair the same color. It's not an unreasonable assumption lmao.
Bone-Juice: So anyone with blonde hair dressed as a gymnast is automatically about the sister? NGL that's a little out there.
Penkala89: Having your hair done the same way at the same salon she uses would seem like a sus coincidence if the SIL was aware of that part though
Bone-Juice: They had their hair dyed blonde they absolutely did not say that they had their hair 'done the same way' which would mean they also had it styled the same way.
I guess the next time I see someone having their hair dyed the same colour as mine I should lose my shit thinking they are impersonating me...
KweenKunt: Well, she said she had put it up into a bun. A pretty standard hairdo for gymnasts, which would probably also make it look even more like the sister wore when competing.
Bone-Juice: > . A pretty standard hairdo for gymnasts
You said it yourself...
>look even more like the sister
According to your own statement it made her look like a pretty standard gymnast.
ThornaBld: You know perfectly well that’s it’s completely reasonable to jump to the thought sister in law did. It’s a pretty big coincidence to role play as said persons tragic past role while ALSO suddenly deciding to dye your hair the same color as that persons during that role. It’s freaking weird
DickPoundMyFriend: And she said she didn't know about any of that prior. Try to follow along here scamp
ThornaBld: SIL would know that op didn’t have blonde hair till recently, the eff. That’s a lot of weird coincidences, any logical person would have jumped to that conclusion in the moment before an explanation, doesn’t make them a narcissist.
| 10 | 155.5 | |
1662479248 | 1662537593 | t3_x7dxkp | t5_2to41 | 38 | TA_dirtypicstick: TIFU by checking a random thumb drive
The consequences weren’t severe but the emotional scars are.
I was told at school today that we need to buy a USB drive to store our schoolwork on. Since I am a cheap bastard, I decided to rummage around my apartment to see if I had one before I bought a new one. I was looking through the “technology basket” (mostly useless cables, outdated tech) when to my surprise, there lay a USB stick I’ve never seen before. A gift from the gods, maybe? I pull out it and my USB-C to USB-A adapter while I’m in there and pop on over to my laptop to see if it’s empty, full of junk, or full of important stuff. My adapter is borderline junk and it takes a couple minutes of getting it in the right position before it registers and I can open the files.
This was the worst mistake of my life.
It’s full of porn, but it’s also full of everyday photos of a family member of mine. They were in middle school, and they put an ungodly amount of hardcore pornography on a USB and just…left it around for family to find? I have no idea how to feel. My image of this person is forever changed. How can I move on with my life, knowing that they spank it to hardcore breeder hentai? Do I say anything? Do I save the innocent photos or delete the whole thing? I am never gonna emotionally recover from this.
TL;DR I accidentally found a family member’s USB chock full of hentai and hardcore porn. Opinion of them has changed, I am conflicted.
Secular_Hamster: Why would your opinion of someone change because of what porn they watch? That’s like the opposite of the point of having a private life…
penilepretzel: That depends entirely on the porn, if it's legal I don't give a shit, if it's illegal my opinion will absolutely change.
Secular_Hamster: I can’t imagine “hardcore breeder hentai” involves anything illegal lmao
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1662480259 | 1662480822 | t3_x7ecmz | t5_2to41 | 15 | Alarming-Tank-2434: TIFU by forgetting to lock the shower door at my university
Throwaway account because I know people IRL who use reddit and I *really* would prefer them to not find this out.
So, I (19M) live in a residence hall at my university with mixed-gender floors and semi-private restrooms/showers. I have always struggled with memory, but have recently been given some new medications to improve it. I thought my memory issues were over, but I just made the single most embarrassing mistake I have EVER made. I went to take a shower like usual, but didn't quite click the door lock in all the way. Now, my university uses button-style locks on every bathroom, which look very similar open and closed, so I didn't notice. I get in the shower as usual.
My university has a large number of exchange students, and some were even on the same floor as me. In fact, two French students were rooming in the dorm right next to mine. Let's call one of them "Marie". I didn't really think that the showers would be particularly in-demand around midnight on a long weekend, (because everyone would be out partying, right?) so I thought I could take my time drying my hair so I don't soak my pillow (I'm on reddit, did you really think I would be doing anything but going to bed on a weekend?) and stepped out of the shower. I made sure to turn it off so I could save a bit of water.
Big. Mistake.
I tend to do things rather quietly, and that includes drying my hair. I have longer hair, so this process takes quite a while, usually around five to ten minutes. I should also mention that I dry my whole body carefully in an effort to fight some pretty severe dermatitis I've had since my early teens, that has always left me pretty self-conscious and contributed to social anxiety that started about two years after it. So, around this time Marie decided she would like to use the bathroom before going to bed. There are both normal bathrooms and combination bathroom-showers, and because she rooms right next to me, the closest bathroom is the same for both of us.
Unfortunately, this is where I was drying my hair.
For whatever reason, Marie decides not to knock as she reaches for the door handle. I see a glint of silver and am filled with horror as I see my side of the door handle quickly twisting around. I haven't gotten dressed yet, so I quickly jerk my towel down with both hands in an effort to make this post SFW, and succeed by about a tenth of a second. But it's too late to avert the crisis. Before I have time to shout "Stop!" the door is open to the hall and I'm making eye contact with the stunned Marie from next door.
Then we both screamed. I quickly blurted out some apologies and crunched my legs and torso in an effort to ensure that I was as hidden as possible, but it was like trying to take cover behind a piece of string. It was simply too late, but I at least managed to hide the hotdog. The door slams shut and I continue to apologize profusely, not really caring if she can hear me or not. I say to myself that I'll never manage to live this down and quickly dry off and get dressed, and I rush back into my room.
Later that day I am having lunch at the dining hall, and I don't notice, but I'm a mere two tables away from nobody else, but Marie. I feel so much shame as a result of this that when I make eye contact, I turn blood red and quickly spin around and eat the rest of my food looking directly away from her.
I feel so terrible about this. It was a mistake but I'm not sure if I did the right thing and am horrified to think of the social implications. I don't want people to think I'm some kind of pervert, but am worried that that is exactly what will happen. Additionally, the awkwardness is even more horrible because I live RIGHT NEXT TO HER and will probably see her frequently throughout the rest of the school year. I don't know how to forgive myself for this or even if I should, really.
​
Tl;Dr Left the shower door unlocked and got walked in on by my next door neighbour completely naked with everything but my genitalia showing.
Alarming-Tank-2434: If you have any advice for how I can at least get past this, that would be much appreciated. Thanks.
dronzer31: Maybe talk to her and try and laugh it off. Explain that you're sorry for your part in the awkward incident. Perhaps she feels sorry too. I'm sure you two will be able to laugh it off, if you handle it well.
| 3 | 5 | |
1662481980 | 1662483284 | t3_x7f1vo | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending flowers anonymously to the girl I used to date
[deleted]
PrinceFlorfian: Don't message her, just accept that this person is going to think you're a creep and move on. We all have exes that hate us or think we're strange and it's not that big of a deal. Messaging her now would do nothing to change her opinion of you and may even constitute harassment.
Few_Committee5958: But I want to do that by pretending to be someone else who made a mistake.
PrinceFlorfian: That's manipulative, don't do that.
Few_Committee5958: Can you explain? I don’t see how. I am pretty dumb this month.
I would then instantly block her. I just don’t want her thinking that she has a stalker.
Courier sent the flowers meaning that the person who sent it - me - a fucking idiot - did not have to have her phone number.
PrinceFlorfian: Texting people from different numbers and making them believe it's someone else is in itself a stalker act. Ask yourself, are you really thinking of messaging them to make them not be worried that they have a stalker or are you trying to make yourself feel better because you don't want them to believe that YOU are a stalker? I think if you examine that question you will find the latter is true.
Few_Committee5958: It is true. I don’t want her to think I am stalker. You are right.
Is solution just doing nothing??
PrinceFlorfian: Yes, the best thing you can do is give her space and move on with your life.
Few_Committee5958: But she would still think that she has some stalker?
From her point of view, wouldn’t it be better to know that it was someone who isn’t interested in anything than knowing that someone likes her from afar???
| 9 | 3.888889 | |
1662482951 | 1662492779 | t3_x7fg14 | t5_2to41 | 26 | Mundane-River1289: TIFU by lying on my college application and getting in
The college I applied to didn't have an entrance exam, you get in with your school grades and the results of the three final exams most people take in my country (people need to take these exams to get into college or to get better jobs). My results weren't impressive but I got into a college that's focused on english and french, plus I don't have to pay tuition, so far so good, right? Nope, when I apllied they asked me how good my french and english were, english is my second language but I confidently aswered advanced, but when french came into question I lied and said advanced as well (I didn't think they would accept me anyways).
The problem is that I got in and my french is shit, my tutor even suggested that I should drop out and I haven't even started yet, I'm really scared that I'll be the dumbest there.
tl;dr: Said I'm advanced in french, don't actually know shit.
Alkyrian: You have the choice to see that as a FU or to see that as an opportunity to take French classes and prove your worth :-)
« Your attitude and not your aptitude determines your altitude »
Mundane-River1289: Thank you for the advice, will do my best!
Alkyrian: Good luck ! French is my native language and I heard it’s quite difficult to learn for foreigners but manageable.
Like indicated you should try sites like duolingo but more importantly listening to kids show with subtitles is a very good way to make the learning journey more fun !
Bonne chance ;-)
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1662482638 | 1662487351 | t3_x7fbgq | t5_2to41 | 29 | cassandrakeepitdown: TIFU by being lazy and craving fish fingers
As with many, this wasn't today but a few years ago.
I have for as long as I can remember got hungry at about 3am and given I tend to get stoned before bed nowadays, these meals have got progressively weirder.
A few years back, I was staying at my ex boyfriend's shared house and got hungry in the middle of the night. No Biggie, normal, he's used to me going to get food at stupid o'clock so I just hopped up and went into the kitchen. There wasn't much around but then I remembered I'd got some fish fingers the previous week and instantly that became the only food that would do.
Got them out the freezer, put the oven on, then was like "hmm, given potato waffles work in the toaster there's no reason why these won't, they're about the same width". This was 80% laziness and 20% awareness that there was a high chance I'd forget the oven was on and cause carnage. Ironic, really, with what happened after.
Put them in the toaster, was convinced it had worked, so the next day I told my ex about my genius fish finger hack. He was dubious, so I tried to prove that it worked.
Within half a minute there was smoke coming out of the toaster, I turned it off at the wall, still smoke, tried to get the fish fingers out but just succeeded in completely fucking up the inside of the toaster with the knife (it was unplugged at this point) and setting off the fire alarms.
Woke up the night worker upstairs, had to buy a new toaster for the house, had the shits from the overnight attempt for the next day or two and never lived it down.
TL;DR thought I'd found a life hack by toasting frozen fish fingers, had to replace a toaster, apologise to an angry night worker I woke up when I set the fire alarm off, and be appropriately punished by my digestive system
NyePhant: Get toastie bags. Then you can toast your fingers any time you want!
cassandrakeepitdown: Oh my goodness. Would this work? Really?
NyePhant: Yep. Works with cheese toastie, fish fingers, veggie patties, cauliflower.grills, sausages (I suggest using the microwave type), filled pitta and pretty much anything you can grill. You do need to put fish fingers and similar things on multiple times tho.
Source: lived in flat with no oven or grill for several years
cassandrakeepitdown: FanTASTIC! Thanks so much for the tip, with potato waffles they need to go down three times so I'm familiar with the repetition, you legend!!!
NyePhant: You're welcome. Toastie bags are great. I got mine at £1land and they lasted about 4 years with regular use
| 6 | 4.833333 | |
1662478351 | 1662501508 | t3_x7dklz | t5_2to41 | 37 | Slow_Alternative2811: TIFU by letting my dog sniff inside a bush.
Sooooo, today I was walking my dog, per usual. And most of the time if she needs to stop to take a leak, poop, and/or smell around for a bit I do. During mid walk, tell me why in this one particular bush she pulls out a big ass dead squirrel.
I immediately tell her to drop it. Of course she doesn’t. I try to get her jaws open but they were locked tight on this poor thing. Passerby’s start coming through commentary is made. I’m get desperate I start pulling the thing out and let me tell you this is gross dude like it’s all dead and furry and shit. I get a grip and pull. She will not let go. I get desperate and put half the squirrel on a gate, put my foot on it, with two hands on the leash. Bro she had the grip of gods on this thing. Like this critter corpse is getting stretched out now. Now at this point I’m hoping I pull hard enough that this squirrels head just tears off, but my girl made a huge whimper. That’s when I knew she was on that hill to die on there was no way she was leaving without her treasure. Also I’m not going to hurt my dog to drop a squirrel. Also some guy was walking towards and ran the other way. After that I just said fuck it.
So now we’re walking home with this big ass squirrel just hanging out of her mouth. Sigh. I am mad as hell but her tail is wagging like this the happiest day of her life rn. There was someone getting pulled over at the time so me and her just casually walked past the police with this furry thing hanging out here all dangly and shit. And quickly made it home before any of my neighbors spotted me. At the moment my dog is in the back yard doing god knows what to it.
I’ll probably update this later.
TL;DR : Today I fucked up by letting my dog sniff a bush and find a dead squirrel. Ended up walking home with it after failing to get her to let go of it.
Update: When I took her in she just left it outside after all that. It wasn’t all mauled up neither. While she was in I just got some plastic bags and threw it the dumpster. She is unaware of it rn.
Icy_Engine_7648: Tell me she buried it
Slow_Alternative2811: No she just left it on the ground
Crazydarkside4: You are lucky. We live in the countyside, when my dog is with his dog walker, (I am disabled), my dog regularly finds, pheasants, squirrels, deer, fox, etcetc, then he will growl and run to the middle of the nearest field and eat it as fast as he can he is the biggest softy and this is the only time he gets possesive. He doesn't do this for kibble
. The last "snack", was a deer leg including pointed hoof. Thankfully after days of worrying about the point he finally passed it
| 4 | 9.25 | |
1662483406 | 1662520934 | t3_x7fmrg | t5_2to41 | 813 | h0t_doG: TIFU by kicking a kid into a swimming pool.
So me and my family were on vacation. The place
we were staying at was very beautiful and there was
so much to do. This resort also had a water slide, and
at my grown age, I had to ride it. Me and my younger
brother were having a competition for who could go
down the slide the fastest. He went down first and I
had timed him on my phone, his time was 13
seconds. Determined to beat him I sat on the slide
and pushed myself down the slide. I can say that I
was very fast, in fact I was so fast I didn't notice the
kid sitting at the bottom of the slide. I tried using my
arms to slow myself down and I even tried yelling at
the kid to move but it was too late. My feet had made
contact with this poor child's back and he went flying
into the swimming pool. Luckily he wasn't hurt but he
was crying because I had shocked him. I will admit I
started crying as well because his parents were
understandably angry with me. After a while when I
had calmed down they explained that they
understood I was just having fun but that I should be
careful next time I go down the slide. I've not left our
hotel room for two days now because I'm pretty
ashamed of myself. My family thinks it's so funny and
won't let it go. I guess I deserve this.
TL;DR. I kicked a kid into a swimming pool due to irresponsible water slide racing and cried when their parents got mad at me.
[deleted]: so me and my family were on vaccination 💀
Booskop89: At least the resort had great 5G reception 
inorial: pls no
| 4 | 203.25 | |
1662484009 | 1662899189 | t3_x7fwvs | t5_2to41 | 38 | ThinkTwo4410: TIFU by getting caught watching gay fortnite porn in class
Today i fucked up by getting caught watching gay fortnite porn in class
So i (14M) today i was in class and i check my phone and i see my friend sent me something on text. I click on what he sent me and a video of a anime edit. And i wanted to see what it was because he always sends me interesting stuff so i obviously wanted to see it. So i click on it and it suddenly cuts to 2 black fortnite skins having sex. Little did i know my art teacher was behind me and they see what my friend sent me and he says “WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING!?” and i try to shut off my phone but it’s too late. My teacher takes my phone and says “You go to the principals office now!” I try to explain to him that it wasn’t my video and my friend sent it to me. But he said “no exceptions or excuses go NOW!!!” So i go down and he comes with me. I prepare myself for what’s about to happen. They tell the principal and they say “This student was watching gay video game porn in my class!!!” I try to explain to the principal that my friend sent it to me but they for some reason never believed me. They call my parents and tell them what happened and they say i’m suspended for a week for watching gay fortnite porn in my art class. My parents then take me home and beat the shit out of me and i get grounded for the rest of the year. I am writing this on my school computer right now waiting for my next punishment. So moral of the story don’t watch gay fortnite porn in class.
TL;DR my friend sent me fortnite porn, got caught watching it and got suspended
Me0w19: You and your friends are cringe.
ThinkTwo4410: your on reddit that doesn’t make you any less cringe than me
Me0w19: Dont really know about that...
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1662484994 | 1662485227 | t3_x7gbo9 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Ok_Introduction_977: TIFU By Calling Into Work
This happened Yesterday, I'm a day late. Long time reader, first time poster
Yesterday I called in for work at my small-town restaurant cafe for the first time in the year that I've work'd there to let them know I wouldn't be coming in for personal reasons. I texted my primary manager to let her know I wouldn't be able to come in. I got no response from her so I texted a couple of coworkers to let them know I did my due diligence and sent them the proof if there were any questions of a No-Call No-Show.
Around the time the restaurant would've been closing, I got a text saying that I no longer had a job and that I wouldn't be needed anymore from our secondary manger. I was taken aback and asked for a call to see why, I couldn't get a straight answer and I have a recording of him saying he even thought I was doing very well as an employee.
I've never called in before, besides when I was sick and had documentation and had broken my foot. I've never posted on any Sub-Reddit before so this may belong on another Sub-Reddit, I just need to hear others opinions on wether or not I could take legal action. With even more back-up I've work for this company a month shy of a year.
For more context, I live in Texas, an "employment at-will" state, so I'm afraid there's not much I can do besides look for more work, I really just needed some advice and a shout into the void.
TL;DR I called in after a year of exemplary behavior and got let go because of it.
HikerTom: Sounds like they were already looking to let some staff go in my opinion. It was probably just really unlucky timing.
Ok_Introduction_977: That's what I've been told by a few friends and family, some events leading up to this made it feel like they needed to make an example of someone and I just happened to be put on the chopping block
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1662488631 | 1662514078 | t3_x7htrd | t5_2to41 | 5 | RareEncounterThrwawy: TIFU by shareing my friend's story as my own on a Reddit post.
Today I fucked up as title states. I know I'm a bitch for it. She shared to me in confidence very intimate details about a guy she likes. I saw a Reddit post that reminded me of her situation and I told her that she should share hers but she didn't like the idea. Shes very private about it and thinks its nobodys business. Shes very paranoid about the internet and sharing her secrets on it. But I thought it was so perfect so I made a throw-away account and posted about it as if it was my own situation. I made some parts of it up and amped it up a lot and added disclaimers that werent true to separate it from hers but she still figured it out. Now, she's furious with me and I think I ruined the friendship. I'm making this post partly to show her how sorry I am. I dont know why I did that and I kno its so pathetic. If you can find it in youre heart to forgive me I would be so grateful and Ill never do that to you again.
TL;DR: Stole my friends story as my own on Reddit and she found it.
PlantaSorusRex: Sounds like she was right in fearing the internet knowing her secrets. But i bet she never thought a "friend" would do this. Shame on you OP
RareEncounterThrwawy: Shes terrified that the guy shes talking to saw it esp bc of the things I put in it that werent true. I feel awful for it and i deserve it if she doesnt want anything to do with me again. I dont know what I was thinking
luvtummies: “I don’t know what I was thinking”
Well, figure out what you were thinking - something was in it for you. Figure that out and own it. You violated her trust. The least you can do is understand why.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1662488876 | 1663135557 | t3_x7hx7z | t5_2to41 | 6 | stonerul: TIFU by not telling my gf that I had things to do
TLDR: I was busy during a videocall with my gf and made a really bad discomfort face to her
This happened yesterday. I was at home doing homework, the topic is getting harder and there was one thing that I just couldn't understand, after a while I realized that I had a missed videocall from gf. So I return the call to see if she needed something, I never thought that she wanted to talk because i had sent her some memes an messages earlier and she didn't reply. Well, I called her and she told me that she didn't know how to get to a job interview, i helped her looking for the place and the company and we solved the problem. Just after that my mind came back to the thing I was trying to understand but she started telling me something about her day and so on. I was paying attention but I got desperate because i wanted to go back to my things. I knew that I had to tell her to excuse me, that we could talk later but I didn't and then I made a face. I don't know how bad it was but it was bad. She stopped talking and told me that we should talk later. I tried to explain that I was thinking in my HW and she asked me why I dont tell her so I don't have to make her faces. :( I didn't say anything. We just agreed to talk later but we didn't and things have been weird since yesterday.
RodanMurkharr: Oh, to be 16 again.
schweenlad: Lmao
| 3 | 2 | |
1662489676 | 1662490545 | t3_x7i8pt | t5_2to41 | 40 | green__goblin: TIFU by relapsing into alcohol.
My roommate and I started moving in together and she started talking about some things that are not comfortable with me. It unearthed some deeply rooted anger that I had buried for a few months. I didn't say anything and I don't think I acted pissed, but I started drinking, just having a few beers. I fell into the cycle of more mad = drink more. More drink = more mad. She's a heavy sleeper so I don't think she witnessed my drunkenness, but I did text her the next morning that I was upset. I also in my anger posted something pretty bad and violent and got a strike on my account. We talked it out, but I'm still shaking like crazy from the withdraws and my body feels like shit. I'm extremely anxious. I'm trying to quit and I see a new post-move therapist this Friday so I'm excited to get into help and have someone to talk to. I hope it works.
tl;dr I got pissed at my roommate and drank way too much knowing that I am now an angry drunk. I started unnecessary drama and have made it hard for myself to function due to withdrawals.
crowleyoccultmaster: Sounds like you need some external help
green__goblin: I do. I really do. That's why I'm going to therapy starting Friday
Relevant_Translator4: Good luck!
| 4 | 10 | |
1662489235 | 1662490193 | t3_x7i2e4 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by having protected sex
[deleted]
ghost-rider74: And she's pregnant?
firsthandjugular: No
| 3 | 2 | |
1662489807 | 1662568133 | t3_x7iamu | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost taking some sleeping pills while drunk off my ass
[deleted]
Jakenlovesbacon: I dont think you can OD on melatonin like I might be wrong but I think you wouldve been fine
Fractured-disk: Not so much OD but mixing alcohol and sleeping pills can lead to you sleeping for a very long time
Jakenlovesbacon: fair enough, like I said I dont know shit about shit
| 4 | 2 | |
1662490232 | 1670039517 | t3_x7igql | t5_2to41 | 73 | velocity_ken: TIFU By making my mom think I was masturbating in my room
So this happened 2 days ago, I woke up with sharp pain in my balls probably cause of weird sleeping positions
I went to the kitchen grabbed some ice, wrapped it in a napkin and started comforting my swollen balls. I had locked my room cause I didn’t want family members to witness that but my mom tried to barge in my room as usual for some work. She yelled at me to open the door and I asked her to give me 5 mins
After couple minutes I opened the door and went to throw the napkin in washing machine. My mom saw that and probably though it was a cum rag which I threw in washing machine with other clothes.
There was lot of disgust in her eyes but she didn’t say anything and I didn’t realised what it looked like until now.
Tldr:- used a napkin for comforting my swollen balls, mom thought it was a cum rag
misaka-8888: Bro tell the truth and SEE A DOCTOR ASAP. Sharp pain in balls r not good, treat it seriously.
velocity_ken: I am actually alright now and this has happened once before
[deleted]: It’s not normal, you still should get checked unless you want to potentially lose them. I’ve never had something like that happen to me in my entire life.
velocity_ken: I’ll get them checked
[deleted]: It might be a bit awkward, but better to be safe than sorry. They’re important organs.
velocity_ken: Yeah
[deleted]: Make sure you describe your symptoms too. It will help the physician determine what went wrong and how to prevent or treat it.
velocity_ken: I hope it isn’t anything serious cause both times when it happened to me it was cause of weird sleeping positions
Khronosis99: Hey dude so what happened to your boys?
velocity_ken: Perfectly fine lol
| 11 | 6.636364 | |
1662490799 | 1662507496 | t3_x7ip4k | t5_2to41 | 147 | No_Honey_6900: TIFU by giving my brother the sex talk
I (22 F) have always been close with my siblings. I'm the eldest of 12 siblings (both mom and dad side, I'm their only child and they've had children with other people after) the second eldest, my brother, just turned 16, and I caught him watching porn on my laptop. I don't want to delve into the kind of porn that it was, but it was sketchy. Anyway, I know he hasn't had a girlfriend yet, since I consider myself close to him and I sure thought he felt the same way. Two weeks ago, to save him the embarrassment from letting my mom and step dad know, I decided to give him the sex talk myself, especially reminding him about consent and using a condom no matter what. I told him he could ask me questions if he had any in the future. Now, he's asking me how he should pleasure a girl or how to make a girl orgasm. I've answered as matter-of-factly as I can, but friends have told me to stop and that it can fuel something else. I think they're just being disgusting to think that, and honestly, I just want to be a good sister.
​
TL:DR: I gave my younger brother the sex talk and now people think it's inappropriate
PlsRfNZ: You gave him the talk on safety and the importance of love.
For his how-to guide just send him back to the internet, plenty of tutorials there.
Contrary to what all women on Reddit think, the world of internet porn isn't just a single type of r*pe fantasy where a woman is kept as a chained up slave and forced to do things she didn't want to while she begs for it to stop...
Need to amend your search terms...
Hunnybunn2021: Where do you come to the conclusion that "all women on Reditt" think that? Do you know what negative stereotyping means? Cause you have a very odd idea about what women think!
That's the weirdest thing I've seen on this site yet to date.
| 3 | 49 | |
1662492725 | 1662506770 | t3_x7jinc | t5_2to41 | 23 | yesIamthisstupid: TIFU By having a battle of wills with a cat
Okay, I know this, I, am incredibly stupid but here we go.
My cat’s named Robin. Early into covid I rescued him at five weeks old and hand raised him. Due to covid I had a *lot* of time to spend on him. And most of that I spent training him.
People think you can't train cats, but you can if have a lot of patience. I leash trained him, trained him to stand on his hindlegs and beg for treats, and I taught him to touch doorknobs when he wants to go in and out of a room.
Open doors give me anxiety, so I keep them closed. As such I taught him that when he wants to go in or out of a room he should Meow and touch the doorknob. His whole life he has been doing that just fine.
I made a mistake a few weeks ago. Instead of having him touch the doorknob and walk through himself, I picked him up as I saw him go to a door and carried him through. I was going to that room anyways and I thought it was just easier and plus he loves to be carried.
Robin has begun to try and get me to carry him instead of touching the doorknobs. He'll sit by a door, and look at me. He'll reach up my legs, generally indicate he wants me to carry him through. Which is cute, but I can't have to carry him every time, plus I worked hard to teach him.
Generally he gives up after 5 minutes, but it all came to a head yesterday. I went in the laundry room and he asked to come in with me. Generally with small rooms like this, he will ask to leave when he sees me start towards out, but this time he went to the door and looked up at me and clearly wanted to be picked up.
I decided I would stand there to wait till he asked, instead of teaching him that he could scam me like this. But he never did. No. He just kept staring at me.
So I decided if he won't ask I guess he's not coming. I made sure all the detergents and so forth were stashed, and then left the laundry room without him. I thought he'd give in when I came back. But about twenty minutes later and. . . Nope. Just as stubborn as before. So I left.
After half an hour I realized this might take a while. So brought him a travel litter, some water, and a cat bed. I might be having a argument with a cat but I didn't want him suffering.
This started around 12pm and ended about 7pm. I would go in every half hour, sit with him, ask him if he was ready, and he would refuse. A few times he even came and stared at the knob, thought it over, and returned to his bed.
It became clear that he was miserable, and I started to feel shitty. So eventually I 'accidentally' forgot to close the door. I didn't want to give into his demands, but I also didn't want him trapped in there.
Today he was withdrawn at first, and I had to hunt him down in the morning. That’s weird for him because he always greats me every morning. Finally did start coming out more and is very needy. I've gone from thinking I had a funny interaction with my cat, to thinking I’m an ass.
TL;DR I got into a 7 hour long battle of wills with a feline and now he's very upset with me.
Icy_Engine_7648: How dare you traumatized your poor kitty so heartlessly?
yesIamthisstupid: How will I ever repent?
Icy_Engine_7648: Treats
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1662491479 | 1662494633 | t3_x7izyk | t5_2to41 | 38 | PurifiedBanana: TIFU by wanting to eat spicy Doritos
This took place 3 days ago. I had moved back into my parents house for the summer as I'm helping with the family business for the season and needed a place to stay at. Now I planned on staying in my old bedroom which happens to be right across my parents bedroom. The bedroom is supersmall and if I wanted to watch a movie or something, I'd have to do it with my laptop,
sitting on my bed.
So, the time is around 3 am and my stubborn brain doesn't want me to sleep early since the day after I had no work, so i decided to watch one or two episodes of BCS to pass the time and then try sleeping again. One thing about me is that whenever I watch anything( anything that is not nsfw) I always have to eat something. Good thing for me, I had just bought a pack of Doritos earlier that day so everything was great.
As I was pouring the Doritos in a bowl, I recalled a time when me and a friend tried to prank some friends of ours by putting carolina reaper powder into some oregano flavored chips. For some reason our friends had completely ignored the chips so we decided to try them ourselves and see how bad it would be, but to our surprise they were actually pretty good so we ate them all. After that incident I would put some of that spicy pepper powder on chips from time to time since I love spicy food. Anyways back to the original story, I was pouring the Doritos into a bowl and I decided I wanted them extra spicy so I grabbed my carolina reaper powder along and went upstairs to my bedroom.
Now even though it was around 3 am, it was super hot inside the house so I had my air fan open, aimed straight at me, in the minimum power setting. As I sat in my bed, legs stretched and hanging from the small sized bed, I held the bowl in front of me and started pouring some pepper powder onto my Doritos. However, as I was pouring, I noticed that I couldn't see anything fall onto the nachos so I kept on pouring and pouring and pouring. Thinking to myself the powder jar is clogged, I started shaking it aggressively until I finally started noticing some red particles sitting ontop of the Doritos. Satisfied as I was, I started watching my show, having that burning sensation in my mouth as I was eating the Doritos.
Suddenly, as the fan breeze was slapping my face with fresh relief, a realization came to mind. I paused the show, got up off the bed, only to find out that the reason I couldn't see any powder on my nachos wasn't that the jar was clogged, but because the fan was blowing the powder right as it was leaving the jar, spreading it all over my bed. As it was close to 4 am at the time, I couldn't use the vacuum cleaner as it would wake my parents , and I couldn't find any fresh bed sheet. You see, my mother keeps my stuff somewhere burried in the house since this is my childhood bedroom that I visit only in summers and the sheets of my bed and everything are tiny, and the bigger sheets are somewhere in my parents bedroom in which I was not planning on going as a ninja to avoid waking them. Therefore I did the only thing that came to mind at the time, I started scooping the powder with my hands, throwing whatever I picked up in the trash bin.
Obviously I couldn't clean everything with just my bare hands, so there I stood defeated. I then layed down and tried to get sleep my problems away, accepting any consequences that may come. After a couple seconds the effect of the powder kicked in, as I started feeling an immense amount of heat all over my body, except for my private parts( thank god ) and head. Thankfully the burning was not intolerable, in fact it was not a bad sensation, however it did make it harder for me to fall asleep. Couple minutes went by and eventually I did fall asleep, only to wake up itchy all over my body in the morning and for some reason I could see the veins in my abdomen for a couple hours. I told my mother what happened and she was laughing her ass off.
TLDR: Poured pepper powder onto Doritos, air fan made the powder fall on my bed. Couldn't properly clean it cause it was very late. Slept with the powder, ended up burning hot, scratchy and could see my veins in the abdomen.
Hellkat2020: I don’t even know what to say. I’ve never read a post that made me laugh this much. It reminds me of my friend in high school that cut up a bunch of insanity peppers and didn’t wash his hands before he decided to wack off.
PurifiedBanana: Haha glad you enjoyed that, believe me I'm not forgetting this experience. Also my condolences to your friend's junk, that sounds hilariously painful.
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1662493451 | 1662503509 | t3_x7jswh | t5_2to41 | 177 | welwhattayaknow2: TIFU by thinking my brand new work laptop was broken.
I got a brand new fancy laptop for work
because it had been about 5 years since I’ve had any hardware upgrades. Everything was running smoothly and it was so fast, I loved it.
But then it started doing this weird thing where every so often I would be midway through typing something and the screen would just lock. It was so annoying because I would have
to wait for it to lock, then type in my password to unlock, and then have everything pop back up. Honestly, it was a minor inconvenience, but then it started happening when I was doing presentations, and people were getting annoyed with it.
I talked to IT like 5 times trying to figure out what the issue was. They did all these updates, re-installed drivers, we did all kinds of troubleshooting. It went away for a bit and all was good, but then it started again. I called IT, and the guy was like "I have a weird question, do you have your phone near your laptop or any other electronics?” And I told him my phone is close, but not always, and it would just be my watch that is near it.
Well, unbeknownst to me, on new laptops they have magnets in the top and bottom, so when you close your laptop and they make contact it
automatically locks. My mom had got me a new Apple Watch band that closes with a magnet, and when I would be typing it would sometimes make contact with the magnet in my laptop. Apparently it was strong enough to lock my laptop. So here I am thinking I got a lemon laptop when really it was just my fucking watch. Switched back to the rubber watch band and zero issues.
Anyways, we are a small enough company that we contract out our IT services. So TIFU by wasting their time, and some company money, because I had to be fancy with my new watch band.
TL;DR Got a fancy magnetic watch band that kept locking my laptop and wasted a bunch of time and money thinking the laptop was broken.
NostradaMart: wow, an actual, REAL, tifu...Nice !
Hungry_Treacle3376: Please tell me you're joking
NostradaMart: dude...8 out of 10 posts here are now creative writing from 15 y/o...
Hungry_Treacle3376: Sure, but those same people are typically the ones commenting. So it's hard to tell what is and isn't a joke around here.
NostradaMart: well, I wasn't joking, I'm glad someone posted a REAL fuckup.
Hungry_Treacle3376: How is this a real TIFU? First, it wasn't today(not that anyone cares about that), and second OP didn't do anything wrong. They didn't even make a mistake. They did everything they were supposed to do. They encountered a problem, tried to solve it, and when they couldn't they went to the people who could. If anything, this was a fuckup by whoever made that watch strap.
welwhattayaknow2: Maybe I should have posted on TIL? Idk I felt like an idiot so it was a fuck up for me lol
Hungry_Treacle3376: Nah I appreciate the story. I don't mind things getting posted here that don't exactly fit the sub. I just had to say something to the person I replied to lol. Didn't mean anything towards you.
| 9 | 19.666667 | |
1662494519 | 1662496057 | t3_x7k91y | t5_2to41 | 0 | spottedlanternflies: TIFU by telling my class I like to explode
my teacher has asked every student what their favorite activity. most times you hear them say they like to sleep, eat, play video games, drawing, or do sports. no, my dumb ass thought it would be funny to tell everyone my favorite activity is exploding. the reactions were mixed. definitely could tell that everyone was a bit shocked mostly confused while I'm giggling. the teacher asked what I meant by it and my response "I don't know, I'm just built different". my humor is very odd compared to others and being on the spectrum and having a flat effect makes it worse, but also funny. I should've said "oh my favorite activity is listening to Weezer" but I thought it would be hilarious to do that. never again will I do that in my life. sorta regret it but was worth it.
my therapist thought it was funny and so did my mom. but they know my sense of humor more than others.
TLDR: I told my class I like to explode as an activity, and no one found it funny like I did.
kawaiiwitchboi: Ah the unfortunate part about being a comedian and neurodivergent 🥲 Jokes don't always land with neurotypicals. I get that at work lot since I went from a workplace that's *very* depressed, anxious, and nd to one where I'm the outlier
AleGolem: Saying something that's never been referenced before and refusing to explain it isn't comedy.
kawaiiwitchboi: To some people it is. Comedy is subjective, and some people, myself included, find anti jokes really funny.
Please don't shit on other people's sense of humor if you don't get it and it's not hurting anyone. ☺️
| 4 | 0 | |
1662494681 | 1662497582 | t3_x7kbfq | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by awkwardly missing out on a threesome
[deleted]
Specter229: This didn’t happen.
Sam-Trisk: Why do you say that?
UnadvertisedAndroid: Because [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/askreddit/comments/x6vcaf/_/in9286p)
Specter229: They’re gonna start removing their old posts now.
UnadvertisedAndroid: They already did remove some
Specter229: Should make sure they remove the questions concerning women since … they’re a woman … or at least trying to be.
| 7 | 2 | |
1662494736 | 1662521160 | t3_x7kc9h | t5_2to41 | 31 | 97screamingcacti: TIFU by trying a new method of hair removal
Literally just happened, still dealing with the sticky aftermath
So later tonight I (21F) had plans with my bf (21M) to hang out. Knowing what that would probably entail, I wanted to spruce up my downstairs area a bit.
One thing about me is that I get horrible razor burn, especially in the bikini line. So to avoid that, I decided I wanted to try sugar waxing. I saw online that it's relatively painless and is cheap and easy to make at home.
So I followed the directions online and boiled my sugar water the requisite amount of time (or so I thought). I took my sugar wax and let it cool enough to work with it, but every time it cooled enough that I could touch it, it would harden to the point it couldn't spread. I don't know if I overcooked it or what, but there was no way I could feasibly use it without literally pouring boiling sugar onto my lady bits.
So it's fine, whatever, I can go to plan B. I throw all my sugary mess in the kitchen then go to town shaving. Inevitability, raging razor burn ensues. Absolutely delightful.
Here's where the real FU occurs. When I go back to clean up my mess in the kitchen, the sugar wax is hard as a rock, and is EVERYWHERE. The spoon I used is cemented in the bowl of hardened sugar, the pot is full of hardened sugar, the spatula is full of hardened sugar, the stove and the sink are full of hardened sugar, etc. I managed to get the pot, stove, and sink cleaned up (although they're still rather sticky), but the bowl of sugar wax is tenacious. I can't melt it in the microwave bc the spoon stuck in it is metal. I can't break it out without breaking the spoon. I eventually boil some water, pour it in the bowl, wait for the sugar to soften, then yank the spoon out of there, but the sugar won't come off of the spoon or out of the bowl. I put the spoon in boiling water to clean off, and I put the bowl in the microwave to soften the sugar. Once the sugar was melted (and rather burnt) I tried to pour it out into the garbage can, but it was so hot I couldn't hold on to it and I dropped it. Now I have burnt melted sugar on my counter, floor, and garbage can, my entire apartment smells like burnt sugar, and I still haven't cleaned out the bowl.
And to top it all off, my boyfriend just told me he got covid so I can't see him for a while anyway.
TLDR: Wanted to try sugaring to avoid razor burn when prepping for sexy time, failed, ended up with razor burn anyway, my kitchen is full of burnt sugar, and it was all for nothing bc my bf got covid.
htepO: I'm calling dibs on Caramelized Curlies for a band's name.
KTKittentoes: Dang it!
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1662495198 | 1662579688 | t3_x7kj5l | t5_2to41 | 110 | kutuup1989: TIFU by getting curious and discovering I am utterly sterile
So I bought a microscope for examining solder joints that goes up to 1000x magnification.
It works great, but I got a bit curious this afternoon and decided to try it for, well, something else.
I did the dirty deed and "produced" a "sample" successfully onto a slide. I eagerly took a look at 1000x magnification hoping to get a look at my "little swimmers".
Not a single one to be found. Not even dead ones. Just milky semi-clear fluid.
So I waited to “recharge” and tried again a little while ago and got a new sample. Same result. Just milky fluid. No swimmers at all.
Thankfully I don’t plan on having kids, but somehow and for some reason I am utterly sterile.
I would go to the doctor about it, but frankly, I have no intention of having kids, and I’d rather not go for a vasectomy if I’m already without a swim team XD I’d rather have discovered it a little less bluntly, though.
TL,DR: I used a microscope to examine my “man tears” and discovered I am sterile.
Edit: I have no plans to stop using birth control. I have a decent knowledge of medicine from being from a medical family, but I am not a doctor lol
hmbritt: This might sound like a silly question... But did you get your sample by jacking off or a prostate orgasm? If it's from a prostate orgasm, there will be NO sperm in it... Just the Fluid that mixes with the sperm. The fluid is also known as milk, which is where the term milking the prostate comes from.
StCharlesPlace: This is not correct, prostate-induced ejaculate can/does include sperm. Show me scientific research to suggest otherwise.
Edit: this very well COULD be correct, and I am incorrect. Recommend asking your urologist, not google!
hmbritt: This is actually correct... Here's a little something from WebMD.
Prostatic fluid is only one part of the fluid that comes out when the penis ejaculates. The rest comes from other structures, including the seminal vesicles and the urethral and bulbourethral glands. A prostate orgasm will only produce fluid from the prostate gland.
StCharlesPlace: I reviewed the underlying sourcing for that webmd article and couldn’t any that explicitly state that, but yes googling provides plenty of suggestions that you are correct. Is there an r/askaurologist?
hmbritt: Hmmm... I'm not sure actually. But that WebMD is where I pulled that information from. I've also found several other sites that said pretty much the exact same thing. But I used this site because I know it's the most trusted.
I only know the stuff because I write BXB (gay) werewolf books and have done extensive research. 😂 Lol
| 6 | 18.333333 | |
1662497459 | 1662500072 | t3_x7lgor | t5_2to41 | 9 | Glitxytrap: TIFU by sharing my Wattpad account with my friends
[removed]
fenriq: Those are not friends. Also, use better passwords.
Glitxytrap: we just know eachothers passwrods they're not guessable
fenriq: Then you should change all of yours.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1662497997 | 1662590969 | t3_x7lojp | t5_2to41 | 105 | Chef_MungDaal: TIFU by yelling “hog ridah” during sex
[removed]
Lolzthecat: Based
A1A5KA: Trebled
Roblrag: sharped
| 4 | 26.25 | |
1662501095 | 1662587255 | t3_x7mywr | t5_2to41 | 27 | Smooth-Blackberry631: TIFU by telling someone we'll always have tonight
Okay so this happened just over a week ago in the late hours of Thursday night/very early Friday morning.
I was in Vegas with a group of people for a bachelorette/wedding/vacation. This night just happened to be the bachelorette party. So there I was with 3 other girls goofing off in a photo book, in the NYNY hotel having the time of our lives. When we got out of the photo booth we were asked by a group of 3 guys, who were also there for a bachelor party, where to find a bathroom, where instead of actually going they sat and started talking to us. Talking about the Calgary Stampede (we are from Canada so they asked if we had been there before), How we are basically from the same place (they were from the UK), and just making casual conversation. One of these men and I started to really hit it off. His friends and my friends were trying to get us to give each other our numbers or some way to contact each other. Me trying to be mysterious and aloof told him "we will always have tonight" instead of just giving him my number and honestly I regret it now. We did end up taking some cute photos together in the photo booth though.
So, to the handsome man from York with your very cool man bun, if you ever see this just know I regret not just giving you my number and trying to be mysterious.
​
TL;DR Met a man in Vegas, hit it off, instead of giving him my number told him "we will always have tonight"
siverfanweedo: At least you had a poetic movie moment
Smooth-Blackberry631: I mean true, that’s what I was aiming for you know a romantic comedy moment too bad I’m not in one 😂
siverfanweedo: It works both ways.
Hopefully you'll find him and then it maybe can turn into a romantic comedy!
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1662502796 | 1662536007 | t3_x7nnol | t5_2to41 | 34,798 | Savage_Jax: TIFU by taking my friend's fiance out for a drink.
This happened 2 weeks ago:
I (f) met my friend's (m) fiance a couple of months ago when he moved with her back to his home town. The fiance and I got on well enough and we tentatively started to form a friendship.
The night before their wedding, my friend stayed over at his brother's.
I stayed the night at their house with the bride. She had no friends or family in town and I was by default the bridesmaid.
Feeling kind of sorry for her for not having had a Bachelorette party or anyone around, I suggested that we go out to have a few drinks, celebrate her last few hours of singlehood.
She agreed. I ordered a beer and a tequila each for the first round, thinking that we'd start with a shooter, have a few beers and end off with a shooter, nothing wild. I didn't want to be the cause of a severely hungover bride.
After the first tequila hit her stomach, she changed, became more animated, I put it down to just pre-wedding excitement.
No one told me that she was a recovering addict who hasn't had a drink in 4 years. No one.
In the past when I visited, my friend and myself would drink beer and she wouldn't, I always thought that it was because she wasn't particularly fond of beer or alcohol. I have lots of girl friends like that, who will only drink on certain occasions.
But I like beer - (the Hon. Brett Kavanaugh)
The bride started chugging beers and shooters like a fratboy. I tried to stop her, she wouldn't listen to reason. She became more and more aggressive, so I just backed off. Had I known then what I know now, I would've made a bigger effort, even if that may have meant a black eye or bloody nose for me.
As Murphy would have it, she chose the exact moment to go to the restroom as a girl who was doing lines in the stall next to hers. The bride asked and got given. Anything for the Bride, right? 'Oh my gawd, oh wonderful, you're getting married tomorrow, here's another'
The night went downhill from there. She was like a freight train, with me barely hanging on.
She phoned her husband-to-be and told him that the wedding was off, that she's changed her mind.
I felt like dog-shit.
I eventually managed to get her home at around 04h00. He was waiting for her. She screamed at him and he shouted at me.
They postponed the wedding.
I feel so, so bad. I never wanted to cause shit for either one of them.
TL;DR I took my friend's fiance out for a drink the night before their wedding, thinking I was doing a nice thing. Didn't realize that she was a recovering addict and the wedding got postponed.
speakerbot: Did you just quote Brett kavanaugh?
PM_ME_NCIS_QUOTES: Right? That's... Not great
BowzersMom: I thought it was hilarious. He’s a prick and that’s what makes the line gold
halolover48: He's actually a great guy honestly. Wasn't sure but met him at an event a few moments ago and he was the nicest guy.
APsWhoopinRoom: Great guys don't vote to take fundamental human rights away from women
halolover48: Great guys don't take away hugely controversial subjects out of legislative/democratic control simply because it fits their world view
APsWhoopinRoom: Because fundamental human rights shouldn't be up for debate! Every person has an absolute right to their own body, and nobody can take that away from anybody else, and neither can a fetus.
Should we have left things like slavery up for debate too?
halolover48: Except when it comes to other medical decisions like masks, vaccine, and Healthcare providers I presume?
Additionally, why is it a fundamental human right to kill an innocent person that inconvencies someone? Because it fits your world view?
And no, we should embed it in the consitution, as we did.
APsWhoopinRoom: No, despite the strawman argument you've built against me, I don't think think masks or vaccines should be mandated by the government. I believe those choices should also be left to individuals
>Additionally, why is it a fundamental human right to kill an innocent person that inconvencies someone? Because it fits your world view?
Because as the human right to bodily autonomy is defined, a person's right to their own body supersedes another's right to life. Nobody's body should be forced to serve another just so that the other person can live. And furthermore, a choice to have sex does not deprive you of your right to bodily autonomy. Your right to your own body is absolute, even if it means death for others.
halolover48: What a long way to say nothing. If no one's life can supercede mine, should I also have the right to kill my children if they inconvenice me? Surely, in your world I coukd right? After all, they're an inconvenience that is apparently below my life entirely.
APsWhoopinRoom: Frankly I find it disturbing that you take *human rights* so lightly.
>If no one's life can supercede mine, should I also have the right to kill my children if they inconvenice me?
You clearly misunderstood what I said. I'm saying that the other person doesn't have the right to force you to be an incubator just because their life depends on it. It's the same reason nobody is obligated to be an organ donor. Why should a dead person have a greater right to their own body than a living woman?
Children have already been born, if someone doesn't want to be a parent, they can turn the kids over to the state or an adoption agency. Fetuses are only killed if they would be unable to survive outside the body. For abortions where the fetus is viable, abortion means inducing labor rather than killing the fetus. Remember, abortion merely refers to ending the pregnancy. How an abortion is performed depends on what stage the fetus is at.
halolover48: I never said a dead person has a greater right to live than a living women. But that's not what abortion entails at all in the vast majority of cases. An unborn person does not equal a dead person.
And the whole "fetuses are only killed if unable to survive outside the body" part is completely false. Multiple states legalize abortion till birth.
APsWhoopinRoom: >Multiple states legalize abortion till birth.
Are you incapable of reading what I said? **Viable fetuses aren't killed. Labor is induced, and the baby is turned over to the state.**
>fetuses are only killed if unable to survive outside the body" part is completely false
LMAO where did you hear that? Alex Jones? What I said absolutely is true. You won't find a credible source stating otherwise
>I never said a dead person has a greater right to live than a living women.
Are you really so dense that you aren't seeing the comparison there? A dead person has a right to their own organs even if they could be used to keep someone alive. If a dead person has an absolute right to their own organs, why should a woman not have an absolute right to her own womb? Do you see the why this point is relevant now?
halolover48: I have no idea where you read that abortion is done with methods that save viable fetuses 100% of the time, but you might want to read up on that again because it's completely false.
Nearly all late term abortion method involve lethal injections followed by dismemberment to remove the baby. It's horrific.
Google "How many are killed via abortion in the US every year" and you'll find the number in the 500,000 plus range.
Though if you can't figure that out, here's a source from the CDC.
https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm
Now your turn. Find me even one credible source that shows abortions only are performed on those unable to survive outside the body. Just one. Couldn't be that hard if you were correct, right?
And again, fetus =/= dead. No matter how bad you want it to
APsWhoopinRoom: >I have no idea where you read that abortion is done with methods that save viable fetuses 100% of the time
Nobody said that fetuses are saved 100% of the time, but that doesn't matter, because an attempt is always made for viable fetuses. And keep in mind, there are no states where late term abortion is even legal unless it is medically necessary to save the mother. Late term abortions are actually the most necessary abortions.
And for the record, there is literally nothing in your link talking about viable fetuses being killed. It's just talking about how abortion is defined as well as how many procedures are performed each year that meet that definition. Absolutely nothing about the number of viable fetuses that are purposely killed
halolover48: Why am I surprised you couldn't find a source?
Did I expect you to find one for your BS claims? Absolutely not but I'm surprised you didn't even try to sneak one in hoping I wouldn't read it
APsWhoopinRoom: I asked you for a source first, and you still haven't provided one. You provided me with an irrelevant link that had nothing to do with your argument whatsoever. If you provide me with an actual source for your claim, I'll provide you with one in return.
Late term abortions are literally only performed when it is medically necessary to save the mother's life or when the fetus has a fatal disorder/congenital defect. Fetuses that are capable of surviving birth aren't ever killed, but plenty fail to survive despite medical treatment.
halolover48: It provides everything for my claim. It clearly states the definition of abortion, which is to terminate a pregnancy. It doesn't state anywhere abortions are only done on fetuses that couldn't survive otherwise.
And then it clarifies my 500k+ figure.
Give me a source. Just try. Or I guess you can just continue your word salad?
| 19 | 1,831.473684 | |
1662502611 | 1662590022 | t3_x7nl4s | t5_2to41 | 398 | nellyonreddit: Tifu by sending an e-Mail to my teacher (Sorry if my English is bad! It’s not my first language)
[removed]
GrymDraig: The real problem seems to be you getting drunk. Lay off the booze, and you'll stop making such bad decisions.
Amanystya: I mean I was young once, but underage kids really shouldn't be drinking. It can fuck up their development and the sooner they start the more at risk they are for developing an addiction further down the line.
Also OP definitely shouldn't be drinking to the point where she has no self control. It's not going to end well.
Qyro: Drinking at 16 is legal in some countries.
Amanystya: So is child marriage. That doesn't make it ok
throw4jklfj: Because consensually consuming alcohol is the same as raping a child I guess.
Amanystya: You missed the point entirely. Just because laws differ in other countries that doesn't necessarily mean they make sense or are advisable. All of the research shows that underage drinking is detrimental to your development
throw4jklfj: I didn't miss your point. You just made a stupid comparison and I pointed it out. I'm fully aware that mind altering chemicals affect brain development.
123kde: My god, you did miss the point. The point was not to be a direct comparison, it was meant to be an example of why "its legal some places so its okay" is not a valid argument. Theyre not trying to say the two are on a comparable level of bad, but just that "legal=okay" is a really dumb argument because things like child marriage are legal. If you think there are some *other* reasons why drinking at a young age isnt that bad, it should be argued from that point rather than "well bruh its legal"
throw4jklfj: You missed my point.
123kde: No I didnt. You're the one who had the audacity to say they were saying "consentually consuming alcohol is the same as raping a child" which no one ever even suggested, and then say I'm missing *your* point with no further explanation? Are you joking? Or are you just pissed you got called out for making no sense and are just blindly doubling down?
throw4jklfj: Nah you missed my point entirely.
| 12 | 33.166667 | |
1662506771 | 1662580504 | t3_x7p6x7 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by reading my best friend's text to their boyfriend
[deleted]
windingtime: Lord, to be 17 forever
CrazyVest6732: Whose 17?
bluecollarNH: We're hoping you are..
CrazyVest6732: I'm terribly sorry but I'm not understanding the context here for your guys comments, why would you hope I'm 17 forever
bluecollarNH: Because of the obvious immaturity within your story.
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1662512212 | 1662589538 | t3_x7r6i2 | t5_2to41 | 26 | redlightserenade: TIFU by missing the toilet after feeling nauseous after a hookup
I (26F) have been casually hooking up with a new(ish) friend (26M). Last night he texted me to come over because his roommate wasn't home so we could do our thing and we did.
The actual hooking up part went fine like usual but right when I got there we had 3 shots and then after hooking up we smoked some weed and watched TV.
Well at some point out of nowhere I started to feel nauseous so I asked where the bathroom was (normally we hook up at my place). He pointed me in the right direction and the closer I got to the bathroom the quicker it all started coming up.
I completely missed the toilet. I spewed EVERYWHERE and my soul left my body. I was so bummed out and obviously I had to clean it all up because I'm not uncivilized. I didn't cry or die of embarrassment I was just really bummed out.
Poor guy is kinda squeamish so as much as he would've liked to offer to help he couldn't and I wouldn't have him clean up after me anyway.
I apologized and he gave the obligatory "don't worry about it" and asked if I was ok to drive (this was over a course of a couple hours) when I was ready to leave.
He gave me water and I drove home (we live really close to each other).
I let him know I made it home ok and apologized again and he only hit me with a "goodnight."
Now oddly enough I'm not embarrassed. People get sick sometimes and that was just out of my control. Shit happens, ya know? I just don't know if I'll be hearing from him again which sucks because honestly I can do with or without the sex I just genuinely enjoy his company and I don't have any romantic feelings toward him (which is probably why I'm not embarrassed).
I try not to text him every day so he doesn't get sick of my ass and to avoid him getting too attached so USUALLY I'll leave him alone a day or 2 after we hookup but considering the circumstances I'm not sure what to do haha.
I know it's not the end of the world and is just another funny story to add to my repertoire but damn. Sucks it had to be me haha.
TL;DR I went over to my fwb's place to hookup and after taking a few shots and smoking weed I got nauseous and puked everywhere BUT the toilet, causing me to swallow my pride and clean up after myself and go home in shame.
GEM_95: Was this the first time of you throwing up after three drinks and some weed?... With this being the first time not at your flat/house/container but his home.
redlightserenade: So yes. First time getting sick after only 3 shots and smoking and yes first time at his place. I felt 100% fine right up until I realized I was about to puke. Nothing out of the ordinary happened prior. Just a weird thing that happened out of nowhere and I felt just as fine after the fact lol
GEM_95: Then it should be fine.
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1662513906 | 1662528139 | t3_x7rsr2 | t5_2to41 | 237 | Disastrous_Amoeba582: TIFU by getting scammed out of $200 at the gas station
[removed]
Auricius: In case you haven't done it already... Go to the police. The gas station almost certainly has cameras set up that could clearly see the person and the plates on the car, if not he must have driven past a CCTV somewhere nearby at some point.
hazelavender: Would they even bother pursuing a situation like this though?
AhemHarlowe: Nope
| 4 | 59.25 | |
1662515179 | 1662588648 | t3_x7s8y7 | t5_2to41 | 34 | Important_One_8457: TIFU By trying to impress women.
Tifu… I (22M) decided I wanted to head over to my friends house who happened to have been throwing a party. I had had COVID for the past week but was better now, yet I still couldn’t taste. I’m single which led to me trying to impress girls at the party. My friend (21M)considers himself a “spice champion” so every year at his parties he has these competitions. Where we see who can eat the most spicy food of his choice before showing a reaction. Pretty early into the party I decided to walk around drinking a bottle of straight tequila trying to impress women. I couldn’t taste it so I drank much more than the human body can take. I consequently became black out drunk. Then came the spice challenge. Me being extremely drunk didn’t think about what the spice could do to me even though I can’t taste it. So I ate and ate and ate. Also took a small bottle of “da bomb” spices like a shot. Eventually after continuing to drink I passed out. A few sober people realized I hadn’t woken up after a while so they called an ambulance. The spice caused a lot of problems with my stomach and kidneys. Along with all of the alcohol destroying my liver. So here I am now in ICU with tubes going in my stomach and arms. So learn from me and don’t try to impress women without thinking of the consequences from whatever you think is cool. If anyone wants I’ll provide an update on my health before long. TL:DR I was stupid and tried to impress women and ended up in the hospital.
Capable-Site-301: I have never met a woman who is impressed by how much you can drink or how much spicy food you can tolerate.
KTKittentoes: We also usually aren't impressed by fiery explosive shits.
Squigglepig52: What about waxing ourselves to teh floor?
KTKittentoes: I wasn't trying to impress anyone though. It was impressively awful.
| 5 | 6.8 | |
1662516005 | 1662633590 | t3_x7sjhz | t5_2to41 | 14 | tomasvn: TIFU for seeing free goverment aid money
So this happened two days ago. I just go about my day as usual, working after lunch when I get a text message with saying that “I am elegible for government aid support - we are sending money to help you fight high inflation - [link]”.
And my stupid ass saw “free money” hell yeah, I can use some free money. So I open their legit looking “government” website, enter my credentials to claim the money, I open a modal window which says press here to claim your 200$, so I press it and wait. After 5 minutes of waiting I try again, and than again. After 10 minutes of trying I get a call my bank saying that if I know that I have fallen for scam, that they are blocking my bank account for the moment. And that I should go report the crime to police.
After the call I continue with my work, thinking I was scamed only of 200$ that the report could wait to next day. The next day after work when I got to the bank to unblock my account, surprise everyone, the lady at the desk when she was unblocking my account, tells me that I have been actually scammed of 2000$ not 200$. I probably could have save some of my money if I’d have gone to police earlier.
PS. I’d like to add that I work in IT as a front end developer. I should have known better, I am utterly ashamed of myself.
PS2 - This my first post here, there might be some mistakes, sorry, I needed to get this of my chest
TL;DR - Fallen for scam, “goverment aid money” lost 2000$ in process instead what I fought was 200$.
TheWinnerNoob: Bro like how did you fall for this, why would the government fight the inflation with more inflation?
irredeemablesavage: > why would the government fight the inflation with more inflation?
It’s almost like you’ve never actually met a politician…
TheWinnerNoob: I did meet a lot of clowns, i don't get how they are pretty high ranked tho.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1662522660 | 1662607007 | t3_x7uulx | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by ripping my moms $1,000 wig
[deleted]
billbixbyakahulk: I take there are no wire hangers in your closets?
JellyfishFluffy: ...to...abort...it?
I'm sorry, I'm totally ignorant, what would a hanger help?
billbixbyakahulk: Ask your Mommy Dearest.
EM2_Rob: No wire hangers ever!
| 5 | 9 | |
1662504002 | 1662589835 | t3_x7o4lz | t5_2to41 | 6 | gonnadietonightihope: TIFU and ended up making my bff lose his friends
[removed]
LordApples1234: Damn my man threw away all his friends for you and it turns out you don't eventide him the same way he likes you. Hahaha fat rip that dudes gonna be so crushed once you tell him your feelings
gonnadietonightihope: We're friends for 2 years and he only saw me dating girls. He also knows that i dont like boys..
LordApples1234: Man held out hope. Love makes you do stupid things sometimes you'll wait for someone who will never come too you
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1662523759 | 1662523979 | t3_x7v81j | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my boyfriend to FaceTime me
[deleted]
GuidanceLast4605: He said this knowing you could hear it?
wxmh029: Yes. He knew he wasn’t muted and said it.
GuidanceLast4605: Then he’s a royal dick.
| 4 | 2 | |
1662525680 | 1662589115 | t3_x7vtox | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by being an abusive asshole to my ex
[deleted]
MaccGawd: To be honest bruh, you’re not gonna get any sympathy or empathy from most of us on this sub. This is not a sub to vent and admit to criminal and amoral behavior. Get a therapist and work with them on bettering yourself for the sake of yourself and of your future partners. We honestly don’t care much for abusers, but we’ll give you the grace to change. You first step to changing does not start in this sub.
DatDarcForWha: Not looking for sympathy. And I’ve been undergoing therapy like crazy. Thank you for listening to my story
MaccGawd: Good job.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1662527979 | 1662571574 | t3_x7wj9z | t5_2to41 | 265 | waterMelow134: tifu by getting a showerhead
Well most might already know where this is going but I (F 23) just got a new showerhead and well its going pretty good. Backstory, Im currently in a relationship with my boyfriend (M 26) and id say we have a decent sex life. Lately its been pretty dry and boring, not the actual sex , but trying to initiate sex. Its always just me giving head and him not trying to initiate more unless I try to push more. I do make sure both parties are up for it and it seems we both have a good time. But i miss the point of our relationship where we would always have good foreplay and be really into it. After 5 years its just more of get it done. Throughout those 5 years i always thought i finished, thats until i figured out about the showerhead. I was curious on how some women could get off by a showerhead and when i tried it... let me tell you, legs shaking, heavy breathing, and whole body feels light. Ive never experienced that with my partner and probably never will with how things are going. I love going to the shower to experience it again and again. Moral of the story, get a showerhead.
TL;DR I got a showerhead and ive had a better time with it than my current partner of 5 years.
RelativeSituation773: how is this a fuck up? you seem pretty happy about it
electricspacewizrad: By not getting one sooner I guess
sortedin: It's a screw up because she doesn't communicate with her bf lol.
| 4 | 66.25 | |
1662529282 | 1662958764 | t3_x7wx8y | t5_2to41 | 20,062 | MythicExplorer: Tifu by doing weed with a hookup
Last night I brought this girl from tinder back to my place. We had sex, and after she offered me an edible. I figured sure why the hell not. An hour passed and I didn't feel anything so I took a second. And hour after that, the only thought it my head was food, so I started cooking and then my entire reality started falling apart. I forgot the girls name, I was confused about why she was in my house, I was so hungry but couldn't figure out how to actually eat the food I made, and was over all so zoned out that eventually I literally forgot the girl was there even when she was talking to me (I thought it was a hallucination of my inner voice). It took me 14 hours to sober up. Probably the worst hookup story ever and I'm never doing weed again.
TL;DR got too high and ruined the night
Edit: omg yall I fucking get it I phrased it really weird 😭😭 I was in a small religious school my whole life ok I'm out here trying to experience the world asap
Edit 2: she texted for a 2nd date so 😈
[deleted]: >An hour passed and I didn't feel anything so I took a second.
"And it was in this moment I knew I'd fucked up"
Edit: As seems to be the general consensus of advice....
* If you ingest an edible and don't feel it, WAIT
* If you want to speed up the process, take one small draw from a blunt.
mr_remy: I swear this should be on the packaging "despite how you feel 1-2 hours after taking, please do NOT take a second one, it just hasn't hit yet"
Gotta be the #1 weed fuck up it seems lmao, I think most people only do it once.
Bigger_Moist: The only time I've eaten an edible was when my neighbor gave me a 10mg gummy and it had less of an effect on me than a beer did. That's when I realized that I have a decent tolerance to edibles because most people I've talked to get fucked up on 2.5mg
ISNT_A_ROBOT: It takes me a full 100mg to get completely fucked up....
Velocity_LP: The potency of edibles varies GREATLY between people, way, _wayyy_ more than any other route of weed intake. I've known people that get beyond fucked up from 3mg, as well as people that can eat 100mg and still be capable of most normal shit. Sounds like the guy you responded to just happens to be friends with a lot of stomach lightweights.
ISNT_A_ROBOT: I just wish I could get high off of 10mg. A chocolate bar would last me a week.
Velocity_LP: My first time ever trying weed was a 5mg edible. Learned that night that "the munchies" is very much a real phenomenon when I demolished a McDonalds 13-count chocolate chip cookie tote.
ISNT_A_ROBOT: Oh yes, they're definitely real. It also varies from strain to strain. Some types of weed don't make me hungry, but others make me empty the pantry.
depricatedzero: I feel like this is a good place to drop a story about how munchies make you not even care about the food itself
Now there was this food delivery service called Swan that my parents sometimes ordered from. We had a couple big ass freezers in the garage they would store food in. When I was like...16? Maybe? My brother and I got fucking *ripped*. We went in the garage, sifted through the freezers, and pulled out some munchies. Not like an insane overboard amount, exactly. We each had a little individual deep dish pizza, and then we grabbed a box of cookie dough and ab box of onion rings.
Now what we didn't do is check the expiration dates. It's frozen right? Shit's fine.
Dude those onion rings were ***so fucking bad.*** Like they were completely freezer burnt. They tasted horrible. Every single one of them. That whole plate. We made sure. We were really hopeful that one of them would be good but nope. Every single one tasted bad.
The entire box.
Fortunately we had the pizzas and cookie dough
ISNT_A_ROBOT: I used to order from Schwans too! (The trucks have a swan on them) The ice cream bars are fucking fire and so are the potato skins. I’ve still got an account. I might order some right now. They also have really good single microwave meals.
depricatedzero: YEAH! That's it, Schwans! I didn't know they were still around. I might have to check em out haha. I loved just about everything we got from them.
SpootyBank: The French toast sticks were lit!
depricatedzero: Oh man I can remember the huge bag of them! I went and checked it out yesterday, I'm totally doing this
SpootyBank: Enjoy!
| 15 | 1,337.466667 | |
1662530352 | 1662557178 | t3_x7x7sk | t5_2to41 | 64 | earlhickeykarma: TIFU by blowing two job interviews with the same story
I work at a 24/7 corner store which I'm trying to leave. During my first interview at a local sporting goods store, I was asked the same question all friends, colleagues and strangers ask, "what's the craziest thing you've seen there?
I answered the same way I always do.
"My tolerance for crazy is a lot higher than normal people because of this job I've experienced it all. From robberies to weapons, from drug sting to a customer's attempted suicide and now the latest craze is trying to pay for product with onlyfan subscriptions."
The interviewer went sour after that, as if I was the one that created all those scenarios. It was awkward and she ended the interview almost immediately after.
2 hours later, interviewing for flag/sign holder for a construction company. We are outside at a picnic table and this guy is having a smoke. Very relaxed and chummy style interview. I had mentioned that I had just left an interview earlier in the day but I wouldn't be getting that job. We chuckled and he asked why. So i told him. His demeanor did a 180. He said " Yeah you shouldn't be talking about that shit during an interview, its unprofessional." This guy was cleaning his teeth with what appeared to be a business card. He then thanked me for coming by, didn't ask for references and told me not to expect a call.
TL;DR Was asked about the craziest thing that happened at my current job, answer cost me both interviews.
JohnnBGoode: I feel like that's not why you didn't get the jobs
earlhickeykarma: I have there more interviews next week and I plan on lying when asked. How's this? " Actually it's very calm when I work, I usually only see shift workers getting snacks."
If that doesn't help then yeah...might be me.
carl63_99: NO. Handle it like C2BSR said above.
| 4 | 16 | |
1662530415 | 1667504062 | t3_x7x8kf | t5_2to41 | 5 | Artemis4oh: TIFU by leaving a party early
Disclaimer this is one of my first post and am still learning the ropes. Other disclaimer this wasn't today but the night before last and it's long.
This weekend started like any other with the exceptions of it being the first 3 day weekend of the semester, college football starting back up, and one of our friends birthday's being Friday. So yes, you assumed correctly what college students do on that kind of weekend, go on a bender! Friday and Saturday were long in and of themselves with a lack of sleep, hangover, and just all the other small drama that happens over the weekend. Then Sunday comes and this is when my(M20) fu happened. I had found out the night before that my most recent ex(F21) and one of our mutual friends(F18) had been going to the bars and making out (yes other things to, just see red when I think about it.) with men they were meeting. We broke up on good terms and are still friendly and regularly attend the same parties.
(Side note: this relationship lasted 2 months. Long story short, due to personal reasons I needed to end things so I could work on myself. I didn't tell her the truth because I was ashamed to do so. So I gave her some BS. Multiple friends held an intervention for me as I was spiraling downhill fast. The feelings I have for her are very real and I miss her everyday, and hope that when I'm in the place to be there for her and stay for good she will have me for the ride. Obviously she is single and can do what she wants, but that doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. But back to the FU)
Sunday morning, the same mutual friend who was going to the bars with her and who told me about the other men, asked me to bring my pong table, and a couple of the boys to her place, since she was hosting a last minute party. I agreed. I texted my ex and opened up to her regarding what was going on and the real reason I ended things. We had a great conversation, she was understanding and wanted to help. Even made some flirty comments about how she would wake me up in the mornings and wear me out before bed since one of my major issues was getting up in the mornings. I told her I just needed a friend to make casual conversation with, but I really appreciated it and that if we were to be seriously romantic again I'd want to take it slow. She agreed it would be for the best since we rushed last time. I was planning on leaving it at that. Planning to just the occasional text every so often to check on her over the next month or so and If I am happy with how I am and content would consider asking her on a formal date since we hadn't been on one in a long time. I had told this same mutual friend I didn't want to see her because it would distract me, set me back, and make me really depressed. The friend agreed it would be good if I didn't see her for a little while. I asked if my ex was invited, to which the mutual friend said nah it's all people you won't know. I agreed to go, figured worst case was I got to practice some beer pong. Boy was I wrong.
The night started out good, me and a couple of the guys I brought went to dinner and then the bar before the party. Had a good time and then made our way to the party. Party was set up and a couple other familiar faces were there (Acquaintances but didn't really know them) and as more and more people showed up, guess who just walked in the door. You guessed right, my ex. I bolted, trying to leave and my ex saw me and called for my name but I just acted like I didn't hear her and went to check on one of the boys, out on the balcony. She followed shortly after, said hi and saw I was taking care of him. I said I got him no need to worry you can go back to the party. and she grabbed my and and looked at me and said Its okay to ask for help in the sweetest voice ever. I just brushed it off and said no It'll be fine I can handle him(It was my roommate, not my first rodeo with him). We sat out there and talked, he said I should leave and he was just gonna sleep it off. I agreed and said let me finish the beer and I'll go. My ex came out hugged my neck and said she was leaving and wanted to say bye. This is where I fucked up. I left and I followed her out and left my roommate and my other bro (told him to watch my roommate and he agreed). My ex and I talked for a few minutes, nothing big just her wanting to be there for me.
I needed to blow off some steam so I went to some near by trails, threw the Jeep in 4 wheel and just let 'er eat. Hour or so passes, I call the mutual friend and left a voicemail saying I'm gonna pick up my roommate, asking how he is doing. I get a text from her saying "dikmo" so I kept calling to no response. Run into the other friend I left there to watch my roommate and we are about 30 minutes from the party. He tells me that our mutual friend left her own party to have an orgy in her room. He was pissed because she didn't even know 90% of the people she invited and left him to babysit. He grabbed his beer and left to blow off steam too. (important to know he was extremely drunk, I tried getting him in my car but when a mf is 6'2 and a gym buff and your 6'0 and lean and he says he is fine you just let him go. He was at the trail and you could only go so fast on it so I was like he will be fine worst case scenario he gets stuck.
I get back to her place and everyone is outside of her place. She is absolutely balling her eyes out, the 5-6 familiar faces I saw earlier all crowded around her and one comes to me to tell me what happened. He tells me my roommate got beat up because he was protecting the mutual friend from another guy threatening her, her friends and their boyfriends. I rushed to my roommate as I knew he was extremely drunk and probably could barely stand before the fight. Lots of bruising on his face, thought his jaw was dislocated (just turned out to be swollen), broken noise, swollen eye, spitting up blood and a tooth was on the ground and they all left him there. I got him to my Jeep checked on the mutual friend one last time, which she said she was fine just super drunk and upset. I told her about my roommate and she had NO IDEA there was a fight at all. I call my ex as she is going into the medical field and the only Pre Med I know that would be up at 1:30. Picks up immediately as IM rushing to an ER to check for a concussion. She absolutely insist on me having to pick her up. I resisted at first but gave in. We took him in but were forced to wait in the car. We sat in my car for 40 minutes and no word. Surprisingly it was a good conversation, we just caught up and had a few laughs reminiscing. We decided to go back to her place since it was next door and I wouldn't waste gas for AC. We talked for another hour or so before driving back up there to try and take him to another ER because it had been 2 hours and he was still where we left him. Noteworthy, its a little past 3am at this point. We talk to my roommate and he said his head is pounding and he can't get in the car again.
So we left him there thinking he has to get in soon. Keep in mind this ER was DEAD. We decide to check on the mutual friend. We get there, the people we left her with are hanging out in the living room. We walk into her room to find her and her and another guy are down to nothing. She was saving a horse, for reference. We got them to get clothes on and find out that her psychotic ex found out she was with other guys and was going to come and shoot "us". Then we get a knock on the door and its all the guys that beat my roommate up. Long story short they were trying to start more shit and threatened my ex when she wouldn't let them in to see mutual friend. Punches were thrown(They swung first) and had to carry their gangsta yankee ring leader home as well as the guy who beat on my roommate. I got dealt a few blows but was for the most part fine, kept my ex and everyone safe thanks to one of the other guys there.
The guy that went wheeling? Yeah I updated him throughout the night told him to go to my place and just chill and cool off as he is a hot head. He didn't want to but eventually agreed. He did but saw I went back to the mutual friends place and arrived right after they left. He started yelling at mutual friend. We eventually got them separated. My ex and I were stopping her from going to the guys house that beat up my roommate. She was hysterical and drunk. Calling us everything in the book. Made a couple swings at me actually. Thankfully I was able to block it and she could tell she wasn't getting through. Eventually she said she was gonna tell the ex to hurry up and come shoot me or get the other guys to come back and to target me. We eventually "agreed" to take her to those guys place. We actually took her to the top of a parking garage at the place I live. Where she could yell and scream and let out all the rage and vent with just three of us. I've known her for quite awhile and am super close with her and her parents who were in the loop and didn't want her at her place. I wasn't sober so I didn't want to make that decision on my own so with her parents permission and my ex agreeing it was our best option. We took her to the parking garage, get out she is yelling bloody murder, still going in on me and my ex. Tried to tell my ex I cheated on her (Never happened for clarification) and just pulling everything imaginable out of her ass to turn us on each other. She starts shoving me but I am not moving. Even threatened to jump off the parking garage. Couldn't even if she wanted too as the railings were just right so you couldn't climb them without a later. She starts hitting me and I am just taking it letting her destroy my chest and abdomen.
Eventually my friend that went trail riding and the guy she was screwing show up. Friend won't go to my place, Mutual won't listen to anyone, and then we eventually get the call to get my roommate. Its about 6 am at this point. My ex finally gives in and says screw this, lets go get your roommate. So we left them. The dude she slept with took her home and my drunk friend, I'm not sure what he did but it wasn't what I wanted him to do (go back to my place). We got my roommate, my ex drove my roommate's truck to my place we got them settled in for bed and before we knew it, it was 8:30. I took her home and while I wanted more than anything to go up there with her and just hold her. I knew what was best for me was to go home. I love this girl and there's not anything I wouldn't do for her, but I knew I couldn't let myself get any closer that night cause I wouldn't have ever let go. It would've derailed the progress I'd made trying to get to the point I was content with myself.
Now (Today) I am at the point that I might possibly lose the mutual, and my ex. The mutual is mad at me for a lot of things apparently (Don't know what exactly but was only told it was "alot") and wants to meet up in a few days and talk. I know my ex will hear about this conversation, if she doesn't know it's happening already. If I say or do the wrong thing I run the risk of losing my mutual but also my ex. I can live with losing the mutual because she has caused more harm than good being in my life. I can't lose my ex. She is what motivates me to get up and work harder on myself. I want to be at the point that I can be with her more than anything, assuming she would take my back (Everyone including her self says she would take me back). I have been told by ,multiple friends not to talk about this with anyone till mutual and I talk or if I do talk about it, I should with my ex. I trust my ex wouldn't tell mutual what I say to her, but I don't know how my ex would be if mutual and I weren't friends anymore. I honestly don't know who's side she take. Since she agreed with me on every decision I made saying they were our best options, I am led to believe she would take mine but can't be totally sure.
What advice do you have for this part of the absolute cluster I am in rn? If y'all are interested for an update in a few days leave a comment.
TL;DR TIFU by leaving a party
DrG2390: So what happened? I’m super invested now
Artemis4oh: Alright, long story short. My ex and I got back together. We are both super happy and have been back together for almost a month. The mutual we had we both lost respect for after another incident involving her. It came out she constantly was talking shit about my girlfriend behind her back. Saying how she had to be lying about her body count. (If your curious it’s 3, myself and her 2 ex’s. She was in both of those relationships for about 2 years each and doesn’t personally agree with hookup culture) Also making comments about her body. Stating she is too skinny, flat, and “needs to put on a few pounds”. My girlfriend was on her high schools volleyball and softball teams. Receiving multiple D2 and D3 offers for full rides and some D1 for half rides. She decided she didn’t want to play sports in college and decided to go where we go to school now. She has kept up with the gym since and is very fit. Definitely not skin and bones and definitely not flat. We marked it up to the mutual being insecure as she is on the bigger side. It also came out the mutual didn’t want me at the party and only wanted a beer pong table. Also flaunting in my face that my ex had talked to guys while we were broken up. It was pointed out by my other friend who was present with me when she did this that she was being manipulative and going out of her way to make me feel bad. While we are cordial with her my entire friend group including my girlfriend and I, have ceased all or almost all communication with her. The friend who went mud riding is now my residential hobo cause he lost his job and has nowhere to live so I let him sleep on my couch most nights. My roommate who got beat up is doing fine. Turned out his jaw was in-fact fractured and the ER missed it. First couple days were rough with his concussion and had to be supervised.
As for myself I’m still not content with myself but still have kept the progress I made and hoping to keep it up and make it farther along. Biggest things I’m working on are making it to class and the gym.(to be clear I go to class when I have to if not I take notes on my own time as it’s all lectures I usually skip out on even though I should probably go anyways) Work has been great and I’m pretty happy with my social life.
DrG2390: Damn what an epilogue.. I’m happy for you that so many lose ends got tied up and the truth finally came out like it often does. I’m glad you and your ex got back together and got the toxic people away from you guys. Good luck with everything!
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1662532756 | 1662887094 | t3_x7xw1l | t5_2to41 | 996 | Responsible_Newt_827: TIFU by pushing my girlfriend too much
Context: I've been friends with this girl for two years, and we've always been extremely close. We would tell each other how we both know each other too well and how we are perfect together. She had told me she liked me and I had had a crush on her for a while, so I asked her out. She said yes and we started dating.
We were doing incredibly well. We would call everyday, and laugh and talk about a lot of things. We were always happy to be around each other. We talked about our future together in depth and knew what we are going to do for basically everything. She's the best thing thats ever happened to me.
At first it didn't feel like any of my other relationships. We barely were affectionate towards each other and after time it started to worry me. I asked her why she's not very affectionate. She let me know a lot of stuff was going on and she needed time so I gave her that time. Only, I asked her again about it, a month later. She then let me know about it again patiently and told me to wait a month and she should be good. I asked again, and she got upset with me. She told me that I was pushing her and at first I didn't understand what she meant by that. I felt as thought I was just asking for clarity. But today changed everything.
I had made a video talking about stuff that I had problems with in our relationship in a effort to fix problems. But it only made things worse. She got upset with me and let me know that I was pushing her too much and she didn't like it. I then got upset with her because she didn't watch the most important part of the video. I don't understand my reasoning behind it but I kept pushing for her to speak to me. After a couple hours she was open to talk and we played some games while talking. After about a hour and thirty minutes she switched moods and started replying to everything I said with no. I didn't really understand what was going on and then she left the call. She then texted me that I was pushing her too far and not listening to her and so she said she's giving up on trying with me. I'm panicking and don't know what to do. I know 100% that I'm so so so far in the wrong here. I didn't know before but, I just realized how badly I was acting but I don't know what to do. I'm worried that I messed up things with the best person ever. She hasn't broken up with me but I don't know what to do. Any Advice?PS: I'm a girl so its a lesbian relationship.
TL;DRI was so anxious about my girlfriend not being affectionate towards me that I pushed her for 2 months till she gave up on me.
Eseru: I don't think you were being unreasonable with expecting affection in a new relationship. I don't think she's unreasonable to ask for space if she has stuff to work through either.
But, knowing mainly your side of the story, she should have communicated better. When you are in a relationship you do need to talk to your partner about both parties' needs and expectations, not just shut the other out without explanation. It's a bit of a red flag that she gave you a timeframe, did not adhere to it, then put the blame on you for following up.
(I'm assuming you waited a month after she asked you for one, and did not before. If you did the latter, then yes, you were pushing her boundaries)
It's not unreasonable to ask to talk about something that's bothering you about the relationship. A lack of affection is not a small thing in a romantic relationship. As your GF, she should be showing understanding that she is neglecting your needs if she doesn't want to talk about it now, not giving vague answers and blaming you for pushing.
As others have said, this is a dysfunctional dynamic. At best she's simply not ready or you're not compatible. At worst, it's a power play to create a one-sided relationship in her favor.
tsotsi98: Even if OP was pushing the boundaries, her gf comes across as seriously fragile. We are calling it "pushing" but what really happened? OP asked her if she was ready to act like someone in a relationship who likes the person they are with? That's really not that bad and even if it is stepping over a set boundary it's the kind of boundary that people in bad relationships would wish was the only boundary being stepped on.
In a relationship you're going to constantly overstep and upset each other until you know each other and yourselves well enough that you don't anymore. But it takes time, mistakes, forgiveness and communication above all else and all of that should be happening in between periods of complete joy, happiness and a bit of lust. And If you love each other enough the forgiveness comes pretty damn quickly and easily.
Eseru: Since we don't know the whole story, I hesitate to give OP the full pass.
They haven't been together very long. If GF asked for a month for space to work through her issues first before engaging in affection (I'm assuming that's physical), imho that's reasonable. There are many reasons why a person doesn't like being touched.
But, she does owe OP a proper conversation at the end of that and I agree with you elsewhere that the GF probably isn't ready for a relationship.
Imo "it's not that bad" and what essentially amounts to "other people have it worse" is not a reason to deliberately break any kind of properly communicated boundary.
Something that you think is trivial may turn out to be a major trigger for the other person. i.e. a wife asking her husband to never celebrate Valentines Day because it's associated with a major traumatic event for her.
As such, I don't think fragility for someone else should be defined by what you think.
I mostly agree with your second paragraph, but again, "if they love you they'll forgive you" is really no excuse to overstep.
tisnik: A month is huge(!) amount of time to figure out whether you want to be in the relationship or not.
I'm not talking about "living and adopting kids together". I'm talking about being in romantic relationship. If she still doesn't know, she's not a gf.
Eseru: It's not really? They were in the relationship and both wanted to be in it. GF just wasn't ready to be affectionate in the way OP wanted.
Again, based on the post, I'm assuming OP was after physical affection. It is a big part of a relationship, but it's not the only thing that makes it a relationship. If a girl dates someone for years and refuses to have sex before marriage, it's still a relationship.
Different people, different timeframes. If GF wanted a year and OP is willing to give it to her, that's between them. It's not really for us to say when they should be ready to move into the next step of their relationship.
tisnik: If there's no physical affection, then it's just a friendship. They literally didn't change anything except for being more and more annoyed.
OP committed to a relationship that isn't a relationship at all. And if a gf doesn't want to have sex before marriage, she AT LEAST has an exact reason and term why and when.
This gf didn't give op any of those.
Eseru: I'm sure millions of people in long distance relationships would be shocked to realise they were never in a real relationship.
Every relationship is different with every person deciding what is important and in what timeframe things need to happen. I've known couples who didn't even kiss months into dating because conservative/religious backgrounds.
Don't impose on other people your own yardsticks for what constitutes a relationship, was my point.
I think we are all agreed the GF has communication issues here.
tisnik: They HAD sex before.
If not, they never were in relationship. They were friends - if they even were anything.
You can't call someone your boyfriend or girlfriend while you are just friends and nothing more. Exclusive friendship is still just a friendship.
Also, I already replied to the religious comment. They WILL have sex. They have actually exact date when it will happen and they know that it will happen.
Don't impose delusions and made up semantics on specifically defined terms.
Eseru: You were assuming the GF didn't want to be in a relationship based on her asking for a month to work out her issues before engaging in physical affection. Yet it's somehow fine that a religious couple with no idea whether or when they'd marry will have sex.
Also, it is important to most, but sex is not the defining feature. Just ask asexual couples.
I'm not sure where you decided it was a delusion that people have different definitions and timeframes of what it means to be in a relationship. But I see you have trouble accepting different viewpoints so will be disengaging here. You get it, or you don't.
tisnik: I was assuming the GF didn't want to be in the relationship based on her asking MULTIPLE TIMES to postpone that month. OP asked again AFTER that month and she still was playing annoyed and said OP didn't give her any time. She simply didn't want to be in the relationship BUT also didn't want OP to find someone else.
Asexual couples are friends living together because people are social beings and don't want to be alone. And also living together so the other people wouldn't annoy them with "when will you finally find a gf/bf?"
But they're just friends.
People can have different definitions and timeframes of what it means to be in a relationship. But if those definitions don't involve sex, they're not definitions of a relationship.
| 11 | 90.545455 | |
1662539443 | 1662572314 | t3_x7zojf | t5_2to41 | 67 | saltsissue: TIFU by having a talk with my boyfriend.
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Old-Passenger-9065: >i've known my boyfriend for over two years. we've been romantically involved for 10 months and started dating a month ago today.
>i answered my boyfriends call, he told me he lied about 10 months worth of excuses, i might break up with him or we might talk it out.
So only dating for a month, while you were fwb you're mad he didn't make more time? Sounds like he was just living his life and didn't want to interact unless it was for intimate time, I would chalk it up to undefined relationship on your end...
saltsissue: i should’ve mentioned this but we weren’t fwb. we both knew we wanted to be in a relationship with each-other and agreed that we would work on ourselves while not being other people so we could be together. sorry about that
Old-Passenger-9065: Well even so you were both focusing on yourselves and weren't "dating" as you say so I still don't get why your upset. He wasn't officially committed to you then so it shouldn't matter what he was doing before you guys made it official.
His lack of wanting to talk to you this whole time is probably a better indicator of how committed he is to you more than anything else.
hmbritt: I don't know, I think I disagree with this. Even if they were not officially a couple, it sounds like they both intended to go in that direction.... But at the very least, they were friends.... Or supposed to be... And if a friend calls, at a very down point in their life, looking for an ear, advice, help and you ignore it for TikTok.... Sorry that's f***** up! You are not a friend or even worthy of boyfriend material!
I think OP has every right to be upset. Boyfriend outright admitted to ignoring OP for 10 months.... Now suddenly wants to date and become clingy, but could have cared less about OP for 10 months.
Nope, hard pass for me! That would definitely be grounds to walk away. If I wasn't good enough for you then, how am I good enough for you now? And if I am good enough for you now but not previously, how do I know I'm going to stay good enough? Will this person have another sudden change of heart then start ignoring you again?... At least that's how I would feel.
mook1178: That is all based on the assumption that he knew why they were calling at that point.
We don't have enough info to say if he should have known or not.
hmbritt: That is true, we don't know if he knew why OP was calling. But he still admitted to ignoring OP for 10 months.
| 7 | 9.571429 | |
1662546150 | 1662548641 | t3_x81gte | t5_2to41 | 8 | throwaway29484843: TIFU forgetting to put a plate into the sink
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Jackman1337: Only thing I don't get is why you would Turkey instead if cooking ath for you both? Seems kinda weird to me to cook sth for myself when the partner is at home and hungry.
throwaway29484843: She wasn't hungry when I started cooking for myself, so I added turkey to the food
Jackman1337: Ah classic, I know that from my wife :D
| 4 | 2 | |
1662548024 | 1662548869 | t3_x8201x | t5_2to41 | 77 | ThrowDatAss09: TIFU by overrushing a decision and spending a shit ton of money with no chance of getting it back
Sorry for my bad English, it's not my native language. I've been trying to find a tutor who can help me out with my tests because I've been not doing so well lately. So, I tried to find online tutors but most of them were not very helpful. My father told me there's a private coaching centre that I could join (it's very expensive). My exams are 2 months from now and due to this without even thinking about how good is the place, I immediately joined and already paid the advanced fees. 3 days in...I realize I fucked up. The classes were horrible (for me at least), only the one's who are serious about their studies and are geniuses could pull through. But an average student like me is fucked. The issue is they have a no refund policy and won't even consider doing one anyway. I rushed all this because I didn't want to disappoint my parents with another bad grade. I really don't know what to do.
TL;DR - Joined an expensive af coaching centre to study better. But the classes turned out to be horrible and I can't understand most of the lessons. Can't back out of the program due to no refund policy. So, a shit ton of money lost and going to disappoint my parents.
ConvictedHobo: >only the one's who are serious about their studies and are geniuses could pull through
You have two options: disappoint your parents, or grit your teeth, and give all you have to this place
Good luck on your exams
jbarrybonds: You've already lost the money. It's a sunk cost, you can't feel bad about it any more. I understand that you don't feel prepared, but YOU are the only one who can fix that. The best tutors can only teach you what you're ready to commit to learn. Sounds like it's time to commit and hit the grindstone.
You don't have to be top of the class to pass, just do the best you can with the time you have left.
| 3 | 25.666667 | |
1662548946 | 1662587502 | t3_x82al1 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my friend's online friend
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Crunchy_Biscuit: Idk why you were reaching out in this way. it's on you this time
robzaf_10: Ik.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662550961 | 1662581286 | t3_x82y2a | t5_2to41 | 2,235 | NoPlansToPoop: TIFU showering with my dad and my brothers at the gym
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get-bread-not-head: Is this some weird gay-incest fan fic?
No one's dick flops around loud enough to make noise like that while they walk, this sounds like something a horny teenager would write lmao. Is there a r/NotHowBoysWork?
Zarkdiaz: Found the guy with the penis made of bread.
get-bread-not-head: ?
I don't even know where to begin with that
leaf_in_thewind: I think they might be referring to your username. Not sure dough
HorseBoots84: Oh god don't start with the puns, you owe us that at yeast.
hopsinjoor: Look at you, rising to the occasion.
HorseBoots84: I have nothing to *prove*.
Malumeze86: My SIL used yeast from her vagina to make sourdough bread.
shaggypoo: Well did it taste good?
dotslashpunk: the vagina or the bread
Fondlebum: No
| 12 | 186.25 | |
1662551097 | 1662560966 | t3_x82zop | t5_2to41 | 0 | krystalmethaddct: TIFU by getting impregnated by my step-dad:
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lskerlkse: If this is true: you should deeply evaluate whether or not you're both fit to be parents of the child at every age of their life, while considering the negative effects that your history will have on your kid's development
And it's okay to feel like an imbecile. You're young and made a mistake while he's old and should've known better.
daddaman1: Uh..... she's 21 not 12, she knows better too.
lskerlkse: brain isn't full developed til 25
Druark: So? Are you saying people don't know this sort of thing is wrong until 25? Normal people know not to fuck any type of family member by 16 or younger lol
Fairly sure your claim isn't even correct anyway
| 5 | 0 | |
1662522481 | 1662572810 | t3_x7usi6 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Present_Sail1645: TIFU by ripping my moms $1,000 wig
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fuzzydaymoon: Wait so she doesn’t know yet? Could you take it to a local stylist and see if they can repair it?
Present_Sail1645: There are no near me
| 3 | 12 | |
1662558887 | 1662569428 | t3_x85r8x | t5_2to41 | 6 | Longjumping-Bend-593: TIFU by mentioning my ex boyfriend
I 24 F have a boyfriend 26 M. I want to start of saying this all happened around a month ago.
My boyfriend has always been very affectionate to me. Always gives me cuddles and kisses and I love it. However this changed since a few weeks.
The reason behind this? He’s thinking I cheated on him with my ex.
A few weeks ago my friend J who’s always been a bit popular invited me to her 23rd birthday party.
I’m not an outgoing type but I still went because she always showed with presents at mine.
I told my boyfriend about it and he seemed to not mind the idea. I asked him if he wanted to come but he politely declined since party’s aren’t his things either.
The day of the party came and I was getting ready to leave when my boyfriend barged into our room. He stood still when he saw me and looked me up and down before raising his eyebrows.
“Where are you going?” He asked. I was confused. I had told him a week before that I was going to that party that day.
“To j’s party?” I asked like it was obvious. He looked at me like I had 2 heads but never minded came over to me and gave me a kiss on the head before laying down on the bed and telling me to have fun.
I left with a good feeling.
Arriving at the club the party was being held at I saw it was packed. Not like 50-100 people but over 250 people. I freaked out a bit but kept my calm and stayed.
After talking with people for about 20 minutes J came up to me with a big smile and engulfed me in a hug.
“I’m so glad you’re here! Come on I have someone I want you to meet.” She said before pulling me away from the peopleI was standing with.
While walking I texted my boyfriend saying I arrived but he didn’t read the messages. Shrugging I walked with J before we came to a halt.
Smiling she turned around, “this is Blake, a friend of mine.” My smile faltered seeing the man in front of us. Blake, my ex boyfriend.
A few hours later J was gone and me and Blake were still talking. It was amazing talking to him since we hadn’t seen each other in over 2 years and we had ended on a good note.
I fell in love with My boyfriend while being with Blake. My boyfriend and Blake were friends so my boyfriend knew I was in a relationship but that didn’t stop him.
We fell in love and I immediately told Blake not wanting to keep it a secret and cheat.
He had told me he saw the way we looked at each other so he already kind of assumed. He was cool with it but still heartbroken.
We were just talking when Blake brought up our relationship and told me he missed me. I immediately started feeling awkward and wanted to end the conversation when suddenly he started leaning in to kiss me.
I pulled back, told him i’m happy with my boyfriend and left the party.
A week had passed and I never spoke of it again.
Nothing had happened and everything was fine until a week ago.
When J suddenly called me, we were having a normal conversation till she brought up how me and Blake seemed to enjoy ourselves.
She didn’t know he was my ex boyfriend.
I told her straight up that I will never start a relationship with him again and that I’m very happy with my relationship right now.
“He told me he wanted to get back together and tried to kiss me after. I didn’t know what to do we hadn’t seen each other in years and he confessed to still having feelings.”
Just as I ended my sentence the door slammed shut and there stood my boyfriend eyes wide open.
This is where I fucked up.
“He what?” He asked me eyes full of disbelief.
I couldn’t form words, this was an awful situation but I had to say something before he started assuming.
“I pushed him away when he tried to I swear.”
“He was at the party you were at? Why didn’t you tell me he was gonna he there” well maybe because I didn’t know.
“I didn’t know J wanted to introduce me to a friend but I had no idea it was him.”
“And this whole week, you haven’t said anything to me. You acted like everything was okay!” He started yelling.
I know I should’ve mentioned it but I didn’t think it was worth it.
“Nothing happened and I pushed him away. It wasn’t worth mentioning and stressing over.” I casually shrugged.
“It wasn’t worth stressing over?” He yelled again.
The next few minutes he kept screaming and yelling demanding me why I did what I did and why I never told him Blake was coming.
I was done and yelled that I didn’t know for the 100th time when he accused me of lying.
“What the fuck do you mean i’m lying? Why would i lie to you!”
“Maybe you missed him and wanted to have a night with him.” He yelled.
I was so done with him at this point that I out of frustration screamed “Well maybe I should’ve let him kiss me if you’re going to be like this about it.!“
I regretted my words the second they left my mouth. While he stood there mouth agape eyes wide of disbelief.
I tried apologising but he put up his hand turned around and left the house.
He didn’t come home that night. Not the night after that one either. A week ago he came back home. He hasn’t been talking to me since then.
Did I fuck up? I told him I didn’t know and he kept accusing me. It was a moment of anger and I really regret it.
I hope this won’t ruin our relationship because I really love him.
And now he probably thinks this is a repeat of what happened years ago with my ex and now he’s putting himself in his place.
TL;DR: I know I fucked up. And I really wish he would just talk to me again.
9th-man: Yer, you gone fucked up.
I was in your shoes (not the dating your X's friend thing though)
I should have straight away messaged my x that so and so is here which I didn't know and if you feel uncomfortable me being here, I will leave.
But I didn't.
Word got back to my x from someone in the party that so and so approached me and talked for a bit and tried to move in for the kiss, I stopped her.
Didn't tell my x because I thought it would be drama.
Lo and behold, it was the fact I did not tell her. Kept it from her. It ruined the relationship and we ended.
It was keeping it from her that did it.
The fact I did not tell her is the red flag from me.
I do have one question though.
Your friend introduced you to him and left you both to chat.
Then says over the phone to you that you both looked like we're getting on well.
She pulled you from a group that you were chatting with you go and talk to your X. Who I think she knew as you didn't say your X was with a group but was waiting for your friend to drag you to him.
Suspicious.
He is not handling it well as your and his relationship probably happened in a similar way.
The seeds of doubt have been planted.
Especially when you are talking over the phone about it and not with him about it.
You are both immature.
But you did wrong without meaning to. He did wrong too, making assumptions.
But the canvas he has painted of the situation, has roots.
This is a mess. Hope it gets sorted out. Otherwise it's only time until you end.
BiggsHoson2020: STRONGLY disagree with you on this one. Ex tried to kiss her. She rebuffed him. Story ends there. Her only immaturity here is not being confident enough that she did right by herself and her boyfriend.
Women get hit on in public all the time. Boyfriend needs to trust her or he’s in for a lot of rocky relationships.
9th-man: The fuck up was not telling her bf it happened.
As you say... Doing right by herself and her boyfriend.
This is nothing to do with being hit on all the time.
BiggsHoson2020: I still disagree. You don’t need to know everything your bf or gf is doing. If I run into an ex, I’m going to have a polite conversation with them. I might mention it to my current partner, I might not.
It’s not like she’s hiding infidelity. This is a non issue, not worth a shouting match.
9th-man: So you would maybe not tell your current partner that you ran into or met and talked with an X partner..
with her.. he tried to kiss her.. without her consent. What if that happened to you?
Her situation is she didn't tell him, but talked over the phone about the X and her current partner finding out what happened.. a week later.
Mine happened because she found out from someone else. 3rd party.
Because I had your mentality.
Pattern is.. nothing stays secret and certain things should be shared with your partner because if it will create problems down the line. It will be harder to sort out.
BiggsHoson2020: My point is - if somebody told me my partners ex tried to kiss her and she rebuffed him, my response would be “aww how cute.” She wouldn’t feel compelled to tell me something that was no big deal to her because she knows that I trust her judgement.
That’s what this entire thing comes down to. If she implicitly knew BF trusted her judgement, maybe she would have told him and they’d have a chuckle about it. I suspect anticipating his response she figured it wasn’t worth an argument because, as mentioned, rebuffing an advance is no big deal for a woman. Coddling their man’s fragile ego however, seems to be quite a big deal.
| 7 | 0.857143 | |
1662563821 | 1662568572 | t3_x87rnx | t5_2to41 | 14 | Illustrious_Stick_50: TIFU by taking my girlfriend forgranted
im m(18) and shes m(19)
so basically i just needed some place to let it all out i have no social life no friends nothing
all i had was her but i fucked it up like i always do
i cant keep my thoughts straight every time i think about us i tear up i cant do it anymore
i cut myself i punched the wall till my fists were bloody i begged her for a last chance but its fair enough i have enough of those chances but still wasnt able to change myself
it was all my fault i couldnt be the boyfriend she wanted hell i couldnt even do the bare minimum
i took her forgranted but she still was by my side everytime i fucked up i did push her to her limits
she did everything for me but i couldnt keep up
i fucking loved her too much
i cant do this anymore
fuck
it was all my fault
this feels like a dream but its not and i cant fucking wake up
i cant
no one would ever care for me like her no one would love me like her yet i cant do anything to make it right
i cant fucking talk to anyone i have no one left
i dont even know what im writing at this point but il love her forever
TL;DR- i was an asshole and took my girlfriend for granted and got dumped 3 hours ago
SoyMurcielago: At least you didn’t take her for granite
ThePresidentsNipples: Bro your stone cold
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1662566050 | 1662735913 | t3_x88p4h | t5_2to41 | 24,830 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a big black lego penis, and leaving it out on the kitchen table.
Today I fucked up by by making a big black phallus in lego bricks.
I was drinking some beers with my buddies on friday. We were chilling out in my basement, fucking about with my old legos.
We started out building random shit, but inevitably ended up comparing dicks. Who could build the biggest, most realistic one?
After a couple hours, my buddy Eric ended up making the biggest dick. We went upstairs to measure it, and it came out at a whopping 31 cm. Massive.
Shortly after, my buddies left. I was listening to music and slowly extending Eric's cock for another hour. It became an absolute monster. I started making little details on it too, like stubbles on the balls, veins on the shaft, and even a little hole on the tip.
Before I hit the sack, I went upstairs to measure the length of the final product. 36 cm. A missile.
I'm sleepy. Enough dicks for tonight.
Fast forward to sunday morning. Surprise! My fiancée's (super christian) parents came over.
**Big, black veiny, cock still sitting on the kitchen island.**
Mother starts screaming. Starts yelling at my Fiancée to kick me out. Father is livid. They both storm out of the house. 6 hours later they text her they will not support us financially for our wedding, and won't even show up to the wedding.
Fiancée surprisingly thinks it's hilarious. She knew they wouldn't pay for anything, and probably wouldn’t show up anyway.
I can still tell she's a little sad about it. They never had a good relationship, but her parents had recently became more involved in our lives due to the wedding.
Eric's cock is still sitting on the kitchen table, more erect than ever.
TLDR; left big lego dick on kitchen table, fiancée's super religious parents came over. Not happy about it and will not go to our wedding.
#Update:
This post blew up.
I am sad to announce that Eric's dick was disassembled before I got home. My fiancée did not want it on the kitchen table anymore.
I didn't have the heart to announce this to the endless line of people waiting to see my dick.
I asked my buddies if they had a pic of the less detailed, shorter, prototype, but they did not.
Please stop sending me dm's about it. I get an email notification every time.
As compensation, I have tried to build a more *realistic* depiction of my **own dick**. It is posted on my [profile](https://www.reddit.com/user/Mountain-Swordfish-8/comments/x9161r/sorry/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf).
Her parents basically went no contact. As some of you pointed out, it is likely that they were just looking for a scapegoat to avoid supporting the wedding financially.
Although we didn't actually expect them to, they did promise to do so, in exchange for more control over certain things (the invitation list, the venue, food etc..).
Thank you so much for your support!
SaiikeyTookAnL: Any pics of the Lego Dong? Reddit needs to see this masterpiece
[deleted]: Coming after work!
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| 41 | 605.609756 | |
1662567992 | 1662603455 | t3_x89jbj | t5_2to41 | 8 | Icantwithgachaheat: TIFU by getting mad at my nan for hiding my tampons
I (F13) live part time with my nan (F71) after complications with my mum. I have had my period scince I was about 10 science I hit puberty fairly early. I started using tampons at the beginning of this year
I stopped living with my mum about two months ago, and when I visit her house I use tampons, as I used to them, she brought me takpons to keep. I had these for about a month. today, I was looking for them where is usually kept them, in the side of my gym bag, and they weren't there, I looked in my draws and the bathroom yet couldn't find them. my nan was in the living room, I walk in and ask if she had seen them. she stood up and asked me not to get mad before telling me she took them.
I turnt towards my wall and rested my head on it, whilst she ranted about how she doesn't trust me with them and I'm too young and to keep my purity. she eventually brings them out from hidden in the kitchen. I go toward my room without saying anything.
I called my mum(F36) and she said she would talk to my dad (m36)about it. he also lived there with me whilst I was there. I got in the shower and haven't spoken to her scince. I believe my mum or dad have just called.
Ami going to far by ignoring her and telling my mum?
TL;DR I got mad with my nan for stealing my tampons and now shes mad at me
solstice_gilder: purity? what? are we living in the 1500's? You didn't fuck up. Your nan needs to keep her nose out of your personal hygiene business. What does she even mean with trusting you with tampons? what does she think people do with them? You have a right to privacy as any other person.
MarkBenec: Don’t think people in the 1500s were that effed up.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1662566230 | 1662572619 | t3_x88rmy | t5_2to41 | 43 | TH0T_PATR0L_0FFICER: TIFU by linking my Tumblr blog to my CV
So I'm a recent university graduate, and naturally, I am looking for a job. I got a BA in History and have always seen myself in a writing/editing based career. But the writing and publishing sector is ruthless, and entry standards are very high. In preparation for this, I have been polishing my CV, making sure it has a neat, modern format with details of all my work experience and volunteering. It even included a very professional photo of me in my graduation cap and gown in the top left corner.
It so happens that I run a modest writing blog on Tumblr, focusing mostly on video game fanfiction. Anyone who's had the misfortune of being on Tumblr knows that it is probably the least professional social media site out there (even worse than Reddit, frankly). My posts are very informal, mostly bullet point headcanons, more recently I posted a 1.6k word fic about Leon Kennedy from Resident Evil.
At some point, while editing my CV, I thought something along the line of "Oh! I can use my Tumblr writing blog as a portfolio so employers can see what a good writer I am!" and put a big ol' link to it right under my name, immediately advertising it to anyone who even glances at the document. Even above all my qualifications. And then I completely forgot about it.
I only realised today, after I had sent out three job applications to multiple publishing houses in the surrounding area. I only remembered what I had done when I opened up my Tumblr blog's inbox to respond to some requests from my followers. I had just advertised all my cringey fanfiction to three potential employers. Now I can never post on that blog again until I'm secure in the knowledge that I will never work at those places. And even then, the fact that a hiring manager could still be lurking in my blog haunts me.
Moral of the story: check your CV. For any other job seekers insecure in their ability to find employment, I hope my mistake makes you feel better about yourself.
**TLDR**: I linked my cringey Tumblr fanfiction blog on my CV then sent it off to multiple employers without realising
[deleted]: I don’t understand. So you put the link in intentionally or you didn’t?
Yisuscrais69: He did, he just realized after the fact that he did not actually think things through.
[deleted]: … okay.
| 4 | 10.75 | |
1662568708 | 1662571565 | t3_x89tw9 | t5_2to41 | 8 | ComprehensiveCake214: TIFU by implying this subreddit was writing prompts and not truthful
[removed]
Kerfudamapa: What
JLars97: His friend gets to sexually molest him for two weeks, and is realizing he's posting his fuck up about not believing people post the truth, as he's doing it.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1624726570 | 1662571441 | t3_o8ekf0 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Unhinged_Joker: TIFU by saying something inappropriate during a work meeting
[removed]
[deleted]: can you text me?
[deleted]: Please I want to talk to you!
| 3 | 1 | |
1662569449 | 1662598403 | t3_x8a4xt | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling greta thunberg aretha franklin in my college italian class
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YEEyourlastHAW: All i read was the title and I couldn't stop laughing long enough to read the rest
AnonoMussChick: This is how TIFUs should be!
| 3 | 10.666667 | |
1662574331 | 1662634029 | t3_x8c65a | t5_2to41 | 650 | Better-Shape3388: TIFU by hooking up with a girl on my floor
This happened yesterday, I added this girl on Snapchat and we hit it off kinda well, she invites me to her room, which was right around the corner. so we get in she sets up a movie, and we get to talking after a few moments we begin making out, we stop and she tells me, that we are just hooking up, there’s nothing more to it, and that after this we act like we don’t know each other, there is no exclusivity we can be with whoever. I say okay. It hurt a little like but I said okay.
We do the deed, for a good 40 minutes, then she asks me to leave her room, I do then I go to sleep it was super late. So yesterday my buddy finds a party for us to head to I get there dance have fun, and meet a girl I was wearing a white t-shirt so her makeup smeared on my t-shirt, i hookup with her at the party, but then head back on my way back she sees me infront of the dorm lobby and notices the makeup on my clothes, she starts prodding about who I was with I tell her it doesn’t matter but she gets mad, and starts following me. I call one of my friends to help me into his dorm lobby, so she couldn’t follow me anymore, before heading to my room. But she was at my door, I hide in the mens bathroom and wait for her to go back to her room. All in all crazy
Tl;dr: I Hooked up with a girl on my floor, who after a party started stalking me
Update [didn’t know how to post the video so I posted it on YouTube unlisted](https://youtu.be/EyYiEpfgjlI)
Secondary update: she un added me after the convo so
pr1ncesspeaxh: wait so.. the snapchat girl got mad about the makeup on your shirt? or the party girl? or are they the same girl and she didn’t realize her makeup smeared on your shirt ?? i’m so confused
Better-Shape3388: Different girl got makeup on the shirt, the snapchat girl got mad seeing it, I type this as Im in the bathroom again
pr1ncesspeaxh: ohhh.
some girls just like to use the “no strings attached” tactic to play hard to get, not realizing that that is giving the entirely wrong message. i know studies show women are more excitable chasing men who seem like they don’t want them, so maybe she was just trying to get you to fall madly in love with her.
she sounds delusional. i’d try to talk to her briefly and remind of her words before you slept together. “you said you didn’t want exclusivity and we were just hooking up. i agreed, and that’s that.“ or just a plain and simple “we don’t know each other,” as she stated.
good luck getting out of the bathroom OP!
Better-Shape3388: Thank you
jseid: are you out of the bathroom yet? if you see her again you should tell her that you abided by HER boundaries and it's unreasonable for her to get mad at you. ffs
Better-Shape3388: I’m out of the bathroom, and I texted her on snap about it I’ll add an update soon when she replies
FenelussSylvain: Didnt she remove you from contacts?
Better-Shape3388: After the conversation we had on snap she unadded me
Ok-Educator850: She likely unadded you after getting notifications you screen recorded your conversation
GobeksizTepe: Lmao that’s probably so true.
| 11 | 59.090909 | |
1662576159 | 1662577857 | t3_x8cwxh | t5_2to41 | 6 | CarrKarot: TIFU by blacking out because of smoking too much at my boss's house.
[removed]
Marrsvolta: I'd say the whole smoke session thing is unprofessional. Getting your youngest employee so high he passes out is unprofessional.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Grammar-Notsee_: >Getting your youngest employee so high he passes out is unprofessional.
I wonder if they asked him the ultimate question when they invited him?...
"If you went to a party and the next thing you remember is waking up with your trousers around your ankles and cum dripping out of your arse would you tell anybody?"
"Not a chance!"
"Do you want to come to a party?"
| 3 | 2 | |
1662577126 | 1662726184 | t3_x8db6y | t5_2to41 | 841 | mimiukas: tifu by fooling my nephew and breaking his heart
[removed]
Elsecaller_17-5: Oh boy, we got bigger problems if he is calling you mama. I've seen it a few times (I was even daddy to my little sister for a while) and it never ends well.
mimiukas: how is it a problem? he still calls him mom mama
Elsecaller_17-5: I promise you his mom is harboring a deep, deep resentment to you. Especially if this is their first kid.
mimiukas: yea its her first kid, tbh sometimes i feel sorry for her cuz i see how shes missing lots of stuff and when she comes back to the city she gets abrasive to all of my family when its about her son
she stayed her for 2 months during summer break and we all were so tired of her attitude it’s understandable so we try not to get too irritated by her
captnspock: My grandma basically raised me during the day since both parents worked and I called both my grandma and mother equivalent of mama "Amma" in my native tongue. Mom knew and didn't care. She was my dad's mom so he called grandma "Amma" too obviously, but mom also started calling her Amma too instead of mother in law (mayi).
Inform your sister that he calls you mama ask her if she minds if she does gently correct him. He probably doesn't have the vocabulary or know he has to call you something different.
menhyra: what is your native tongue?
captnspock: It's a spoken language called konkani. Doesn't have a script.
menhyra: ohh okay because my language doesn’t have a written script either and i also call my mom amma
captnspock: What's the name of your language?
menhyra: sowrashtra idk how to spell it
| 11 | 76.454545 | |
1662564732 | 1662583713 | t3_x885oj | t5_2to41 | 15 | SESHPERANKH: TIFU by forgetting where my meds were
[removed]
fadednerd: I make the same thing but with THC
If you let almost all of the alcohol evap and then the dilute the cbd/THC sludge with mct oil it's not so hash on the mouth.
SESHPERANKH: Cool thanks. Will pass that along
| 3 | 5 | |
1662585041 | 1662603238 | t3_x8gn05 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Old_Accident_925: TIFU by touching my relative
[removed]
Connect_Cell_2315: And suddenly the aunt appears lmao
AcrobaticSource3: And then everybody clapped
| 3 | 1 | |
1662582490 | 1662595356 | t3_x8fkq7 | t5_2to41 | 173 | According-Fall-5364: TIFU by pranking my friend
[removed]
KingMickeyMe: LOL. Ah, man. Free delivery of pink eye.
neutrino71: Pink eye for the straight guy
| 3 | 57.666667 | |
1662588738 | 1662597223 | t3_x8i6cp | t5_2to41 | 40 | Entire_Gas_8805: TIFU by letting my friend suck my wee wee
Today i fucked up by letting my friend who i’m not sure is gay or not suck on my salami sword. I am pretty sure im straight and am on the verge of getting a girlfriend. it all just kind of happened we had been messing around for a few months but nothing crazy. Then out of nowhere he pulls down my shorts and starts going at it, i didn’t finish or anything i just kinda sat there in shock because it was also my first blowjob. Only lasted about 5 seconds but still enough time to realize what just happened and how uncomfortable it made me. He wanted me to return the favor but i didn’t, then he just left. I see him everyday and i don’t want things to be awkward but i don’t want things like this to continue. I don’t want to end the relationship because i’ve known him for a while. in hindsight i really shouldn’t have been messing around the way we were, we would jack each other off for like 2 seconds. I’ll admit it felt nice but it was all jokes. It was really dumb that we messed around that way but still What do i do? please help.
TLDR: after months of joking around my friend escalates it and sucks my wee wee.
feistyboy72: You know what yo? Relax. Don't worry about definitions and all that shit. You and your friend have been fooling around a bit and I know plenty of str8 guys that like women and that's their thing, but given the circumstances will swing a little. Just don't worry about too much but don't lie to yourself either. Nobody is trying to tell you what you are and if they are, then fuck them. Play it cool with your friend. He's attracted to you but he's not trying to get weird about it. And peep this: if you're gonna dabble in whatever at least do it with somebody you know.. if you're cool most.lilemy he's gonna be too. And it's not like you've robbed a liquor store or hijacked a plane, fr. Relax. Figure it out.
Entire_Gas_8805: i’m not attracted to men tho. I just don’t understand
Donna_Bianca: Possibly not, but every normal guy loves a bj.
Entire_Gas_8805: i feel like i was blinded by horniness
Donna_Bianca: You were.
Entire_Gas_8805: not that i hate gay people or anything i’m not homophobic but i just never really saw myself as gay and don’t really want to. i’m totally in love with this girl but idk how she feels about me and this is kind of confusing me
Donna_Bianca: You don't need to see yourself as "gay", and you shouldn't.
I'm not gay either, but if some hot chick aggressively hits on me when I'm a few tacos past Cuervo time, it's on. 😄
Entire_Gas_8805: thanks this really helps
Donna_Bianca: You'll be fine. Most guys have had a bit of same sex experimentation by the time they are 21. If it's not for you, then your experiences simply confirmed your gender preference.
Don't obsess over it. Your experiences are absolutely normal.
Entire_Gas_8805: thank you
| 11 | 3.636364 | |
1662587477 | 1662650085 | t3_x8hnjk | t5_2to41 | 197 | BarSubstantial9751: TIFU by getting caught having sex with my girlfriend by a stranger at a spa
[removed]
JustSomeUsername99: Why would she hangout and berate you rather than see what you were doing and get the fuck out?
Kelmon80: Given that it's a textile-free mixed spa, it's a good bet this might have been Germany, Austria or perhaps a nordic country - and the mentality of at least those first two is definitely telling strangers off for doing something wrong and breaking the rules, and not get someone else to deal with it. The woman in question was most likely not bothered by seeing the nudity or the sex, but by pure "you don't do that here".
SufficientLime842: In Sweden she would've said "sorry!" And ran away
zysis: After getting a good look first. Yeah perhaps not, I've been in that situation and looked away and said "sorry omg So sorry" and felt awful lol
| 5 | 39.4 | |
1662594393 | 1662594713 | t3_x8ke7f | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing back-to-back enemas with my boyfriend and only one toilet
[removed]
LoneStar2920: Why did he get an enema tho?
captainplanet171: Anal play.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1662594218 | 1662602624 | t3_x8kbqd | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying something bad about my gf
[removed]
Evening-Difficulty17: I'm blown away by why she would get worked up enough to come down hard with rules about a relationship you have with a friend.
That's your relationship with your friend. She doesn't have jurisdiction over it because she is your girlfriend.
I can tell you are young and I was kind of like you too back then. I let my boyfriend have these little wins in things similar to you not calling your friend daddy in order to please him, but it was never enough. By the end of a two year relationship, he controlled my music, the clothing I wore, the friends I had, the extracurricular activities at school and eventually my job and all of these things came as suggestions at first and of course I, willing to please him, changed who I was. It turned into an emotionally abusive relationship that fucked me up for a while.
Don't go down that path. Your girlfriend needs to respect the type of friendship you have with another or she just simply isn't for you or mature enough to have a relationship.
dumbrguy: Thank you for ur comment so much. Other than that she has never really been controlling but it does somewhat bother me when she gets mad abt that stuff.
Evening-Difficulty17: I think standing your ground on this with your friend is a very healthy boundary to establish with your girlfriend. I think the relationship should benefit because she is learning to stay in her lane.
dumbrguy: Yeah ur absolutely right. Thank you so much for ur advice. It’s helped a lot.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1662599281 | 1662633226 | t3_x8m7td | t5_2to41 | 230 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my daughter about my childhood trauma
[deleted]
TyphoidMary234: I’d go see the teacher, make her aware of why your daughter would be saying these things. Don’t go into detail but that you explained why your parents aren’t around. I doubt this is the last you’ll see of this behaviour and you need to work with her teacher to put a stop to it at home and at school.
Remember you are her world, if it happens to you it happens to everyone.
azjayjohn: This is why teachers don't get paid enough, the expectations of a teacher isn't just an educator anymore.
TyphoidMary234: It never was and never should’ve been.
azjayjohn: Their salary says otherwise lol
TyphoidMary234: Education is dangerous to people in power, that’s why the pay is low
roxaltr: You deserve a poopknife
| 7 | 32.857143 | |
1662597737 | 1662635435 | t3_x8ln7h | t5_2to41 | 10,062 | Revolutionary_Lion18: tifu by making a CBAT reference
for context, i live in a rural area, and for the time am saving money by going to a local community college before transferring to a much larger university.
since this is my first year in college, i don't really have too many friends yet, the caveat being a handful of just above acquaintances.
the average class size is relatively small, nearing around 30 for a 'lecture' and 10-15 for your run of the mill courses.
for one of these classes, psychology, my professor likes to use an app for attendance. the app asks whatever questions she assigns, none so far being related to the topic at hand. some previous attendance questions have been "what is your favorite animal" or "if you could go anywhere, where would you go?". rather benign questions that you cant really fuck up. it is also important to note that all of the answers are displayed on the board for everyone to see.
here is where the real story starts.
i walk into class as usual and pull out my phone for the daily attendance question, which was as follows:
"What song would you like to walk into or out of every room to? (Intro or outro)"
Me, being who i am and a rather comedic person, see my chance to make a reference to something taking the internet by storm.
in all my genius glory, i respond with "'cbat', by Hudson Mohawke" and watch as its plastered on the board for everyone to see. only to my disappointment that nobody seemed to notice, or understand the reference. since these submissions are anonymous, i wasn't ashamed at all that nobody got the joke, and enjoyed it for myself.
that is until i noticed what the professor was doing
i watched as she wrote down the name of every song, and added them to our daily playlist, which she plays when we walk into the classroom and until everyone answers the attendance questions. meaning that starting tomorrow, our class will have a personalized playlist each morning to walk into. i feel an immense amount of guilt, as now we will all be walking into this classroom and playing Russian roulette with our ears, and im the one to have loaded the gun.
tl;dr
i fucked up and added cbat to the daily class playlist as a joke
briareus08: Fucks sake. I finally listened to it since it keeps coming up here, and that dudes girlfriend was right - that’s a stupid song to try and fuck to. God damn.
Revolutionary_Lion18: i watched the post and literally until the song played i was like "surely it aint that bad"
it is. it is that bad.
briareus08: Someone elsewhere described it as “sad boner noises” and I couldn’t agree more
Maleficent_Storm_679: Imagine the guy who composed the song seeing that it's trending online but not for the reason he thinks it's for.
Rndrgnvlk: https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/reddit-hudson-mohawke-sex-song-cbat-1234587712/ I think he knows now
MajorasInk: *THERE WAS VIDEO OF THE DUDE DEMONSTRATING HOW TO THRUST TO THE SONG AND I MISSED IT?!???????*
madame-brastrap: Women on TikTok were doing that basically immediately after the story happened. Everyone’s trying it. I think human sexuality will suffer on the whole.
Whatsthisnotgoodcomp: In 100 years people are going to have absolutely no idea why the hell global birthrates dropped 30% for a year before going back to normal
madame-brastrap: Or do we skew into a whole other timeline where this becomes peak sexual performance? It all started out as a joke…
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