start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1662606818 | 1662614422 | t3_x8oxs3 | t5_2to41 | 4 | SuperSnupe: TIFU by going on a date with my friend's crush
[removed]
fliguana: So, what is your plan?
SuperSnupe: I honestly don't have one. This girl gets me like no one else, but I feel bad for my friend.
fliguana: Just say you are breaking her in for him.
When I had this situation,I asked my friend if he is ok. He said it was cool and still spotted the weight.
What is his plan, if you stop? To sulk and dream?
| 4 | 1 | |
1662607090 | 1662608378 | t3_x8p12r | t5_2to41 | 10 | Yodadottie: TIFU By Telling The Man I'm In Love With That I'm Not The Right Woman For Him
[removed]
Boring-Pudding: So, just to recap:
He: I love you
You: I love you
He: We aren't exclusive, though
You: I want exclusive. You need to find a different woman to casually date
He: I don't want to date other people
You: He left me forever
Is it possible he's just at work and you are blowing this out of proportion? It is Wednesday or Thursday, after all.
Yodadottie: If only :((((. This happened just this evening.
Boring-Pudding: Send one text:
"I love you. I just need to know: are you and I just in a fight we can work through or are we through for good?"
This will either get you a reply or give you your answer.
Yodadottie: I sent it. If he doesn't respond by the end of the weekend, then I'll know the answer. Thank you.
| 5 | 2 | |
1662607863 | 1662610428 | t3_x8pani | t5_2to41 | 11 | NerdySquirrel123: TIFU: dirty needle stick
[removed]
RudeSprinkles1240: I've had an insulin needle stick. As you probably know, since the needle only goes into the subcutaneous tissue, which isn't highly vascularized, and you don't aspirate any fluid prior to injection, insulin needles are very low risk for transmitting communicable diseases. I'm sure you'll be fine.
NerdySquirrel123: Yeah I know it’s just a process I don’t want to deal with and it was my own fault really but I appreciate your response
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1662600044 | 1662616740 | t3_x8miaa | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by not knowing the difference between CBT and CBD
[deleted]
WilliamMinorsWords: I, too, go to the shop for cognitive behavioral therapy. I know a place.
This may be the funniest thing I've read in a while.
Telephalsion: I am disappointed that OP didn't just go for the therapy. In for a penny, in for a pound.
Puzzleheaded_Law_919: If ACTUAL CBD doesn't do the trick I definitely will be
WilliamMinorsWords: I bet that therapist has a good story to tell from now on, though
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1662613563 | 1662613931 | t3_x8r69p | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by guessing my schools admin password.
[deleted]
Politirotica: If your admin password is guessable by a literal child, your admin password isn't protecting anything.
Best of luck to you, OP!
darkstar5190: I have seen some of the passwords used in google admin console for these education chrome books. It’s shocking.
| 3 | 2 | |
1662614691 | 1662639928 | t3_x8ritr | t5_2to41 | 1,789 | Normal-Sad-Guy: TIFU by hacking the school computer without knowing how to unhack it.
I am 13M in middle school in America where they gave every kid a shitty chrome books for school. When the pandemic started they let us use our own computer for school but some kids didn't have one, some couldn't afford a computer, and most of us where just playing games. So they gave everyone a shitty Chromebook that you weren't initially required to use until they installed something called Go Guardian which lets the teachers see what tabs you are on and tabs you were previously on. It also shows how long you stayed on each tab. Go Guardian is a Chrome Web Store extension which you can usually remove in like two seconds, but there is an admin account on every computer that forces you to have it installed. You usually can't even attempt to log into the admin account. But if you power wash (factory reset) your chrome book it gives you an option to disable the admin account on the Chromebook, if you know the password. So me and some friend started inputting random passwords. I typed in some random numbers I don't remember what they were. Somehow it worked I had removed the admin account . I thought I was a genius for about 15 seconds until I realized that if the school found out they would put me suspend or even expel me. ( I had already previously gotten in trouble because of the computers from me putting Nintendo SNES emulators that go guardian couldn't see on my computer and from me teaching other kids how to hide YouTube from go guardian. ) I tried desperately to reenable the admin account which ultimately did nothing but delay my end. In the class I was in the teacher didn't use go guardian but my next class was Innovation and Design which is basically technology class. So I went to tech class and turns out the teacher was doing one of her fun little random computer checks where she checks for video games, vpns, secondary browsers, just any kind of shit that the kids did that the teachers know about. She noticed that when she went to the extensions tab that Go Guardian was available to be deleted and so she took my Chromebook back to her desk to "investigate" she called the I.T guy and he figured out that the admin account removed from the Chromebook and rightly assumed that I did it. He then called the principle who after giving me a lecture about how the Chromebook is the schools property and how hacking is a cyber crime I was giver 1 month of lunch detention. Also I am writing this from my pc at home he forgot to call my parents.
TL;DR
Kid guesses school admin account's password doesn't know what he typed as the password gets 1 months of lunch detention.
Update 1: a lot of people where telling me to just drop it or pour water on it and pretend it broke. I could have done that but if I did I would have to pay for it.
bragov4ik: What is lunch detention though? I'm not familiar with US schools, so do they not allow you to eat?
aminy23: Normally kids get 35 minutes to 1 hour as a lunch break.
During this time, they go to the cafeteria, get food, eat it with friends, and then play in the yard for the remainder of the time.
With lunch detention, you get your lunch, and then eat it in a detention room. Usually either a classroom or principals office.
During that time, you would eat, and then sit and do nothing.
TheThiefMaster: nothing, or extra studying/homework/lines.
aminy23: typically nothing.
Icy_Mc_Spicy: When I was in middle school during detention they made us write out school rules from the handbook the entire time
whollings077: we had to do nothing, working was forbidden for some reason
ChiefLazarus86: my guess is that it makes the time go faster, they want you to be bored out your mind so you dont fuck up agian
Muroid: Yeah, if you can just do homework, a detention would just be trading your time now for extra free time later, which would pretty much negate the punishment.
| 9 | 198.777778 | |
1662617887 | 1662690326 | t3_x8siwp | t5_2to41 | 213 | Spiritual-Doughnut26: tifu by talking about my past?
tifu by talking about my past
I was taking to this girl who i really care about and told her about having a mental breakdown recently due to stress like everyone but it's a bit awkward for me since I only have 3-4 friends who i even talk to
One thing lead to another and i accidentally told her that i had attempted sucide 3 times (I'm m17) yes you can call me a crazy teen or stupid goth kid idc but due to some stuff ending everything seemed like my only choice
She didn't cut the conversation or anything but i think i might have ruined our friendship to a point that she might even avoiding making eye contact
Its perfectly fine by me to not be in a relationship but all i want is to spend time with her and just listen to her
What do I do now the people of reddit?
TL:DR i think i ruined my close friendship with my crush by telling her i was sucidal
Iheartchewingice: Talk to her abt it and let her open up most of the convo don't force it on her though.
Spiritual-Doughnut26: So slide it in a regular conversation??
Significant_Pear9047: I would suggest bringing it up. Your mental health doesn't need to be compromised, nor does it need to be made light of. Even thanking her for listening and letting her know that you've learned a lot and have a support network (I certainly hope this is true bc therapy can really help build coping mechanisms so that no matter what the circumstances, you'll no longer see self harm as the solution) and are self aware enough to recognize when you need extra support. Etc. Of course, I wouldn't say this to her if it weren't true.
Serious-Classroom139: Assuming she’s also around your age, she probably doesn’t know what to do with the information you’ve shared and may feel uncomfortable knowing it — I was the girl in this situation once and started avoiding him because I didn’t want to be his only source of comfort or him to become emotionally dependent on me.
Like the above commenter said, thank her for listening but I’d assure her that you have people to talk to and it just came up as an important part of your past — not present (hopefully)
| 5 | 42.6 | |
1662635748 | 1662761146 | t3_x8xqz5 | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost getting killed at work
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: Why do they call it a fork lift if the action generally is spooning things up? (Yes I know it looks like a fork, but it works like a spoon)
BitePale: you never use your fork to scoop things up? (example: mashed potatoes)
AcrobaticSource3: I use a spoon for scooping. I use forks for things I need to jab, like steak or pasta or carrots or a hard boiled egg
| 4 | 11 | |
1662638247 | 1662676014 | t3_x8yknt | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: Tifu by starting my vacuum robot
I told my wife im gonna vacuum the house but then I had to do so much in the field that I was too lazy and just started the robot.
My wife is a passionate grower of herbs, mainly oregano, thyme and rosemary. She got in her harvest yesterday and started drying it on huge cloths. We talked about it when having dinner yesterday and how cool I think this is that we have our own grown italian style spices free of any pesticides. We were both pretty hyped to make our own lasagna with my beef and tomatoes as well as her spices.
When I came back home from the barn I noticed the robot was done and charging. I went to grab it to bring out the dirtcontainer. When emptying the container I noticed a very nice smell. Almost.... Italian. My heart stopped, I gagged from panic. I ran inside to check her linen cloths on the ground. They were swept clean. Quickly I thought about what to do but I am not a good actor so I quickly disposed of the idea to buy spices and just put them there acting like it were hers. I fucked it up. The spices are gone.
My wife will return tomorrow evening and be mad at me but at least I told her. I was honest. She is still gonna murder me I guess. If you find my body and it looks like an accident: look closer! Fk...
​
Tl;dr: My wife dried homegrown spices. I started the robot and vacuumed her spices. Im dead.
NatzoXavier: Just tell her the truth. Most important thing is to be honest. Especially to loved ones.
Colossal_Beer: Always lie.
ardentArcane: "how to lose your SO"
| 4 | 9 | |
1662639491 | 1662665480 | t3_x8z0sr | t5_2to41 | 182 | rabbitt-we: TIFU ep60! Let’s hear em 🫠
harmicistt: Been waiting too long after offered to talk
GuyOne: Raise your hand and I'll invite you on stage :)
harmicistt: How do you raise your hand? D:
GuyOne: Tap the hand button and I'll invite you up.
| 5 | 36.4 | |
1662640102 | 1662758010 | t3_x8z8du | t5_2to41 | 20,345 | fantasiesSuckIRL: tifu by asking my fantasy to come true
Edit to clarify about consent: when I was describing the fantasy, I also discussed how I wanted it to be a surprise, and how I sure I was about it working in everyone's favor.
I've now realized that not all fantasies are fun IRL.
I shared a fantasy with my SO about having him masturbate while I'm asleep and then finishing on my face. I don't know why, but the thought stupidly appealed to me. I asked if he would really do this for me (first mistake). My SO swore it was not something he'd do (because, duh, I'm sleeping, it wouldn't be a good time, and all this logical stuff about it) and for a long time, didn't do it.
A long time later, I was sleeping on my side (second mistake).
Suddenly, a shadow is standing in front of me, but I dismiss it and fall back asleep (third mistake).
Then, I hear fumbling, feel something fall on my face and pillow, but keep trying to fall back asleep.
The *something* on my face and pillow started dripping into my ear, and this creepy sensation made me open my eyes (fourth mistake). Stuff dripped into my eyes, and I rubbed at it furiously, which only rubbed the foul stuff into my eyes more (fifth mistake).
At this point, I'm sitting up, eyes burning and with a nasty earful, asking what the hell is going on.
My SO is using his shirt trying to clean me up and saying, "You asked me to do this."
That's when, even though it was still pitch dark in the room, I realized he had duplicated my dumbass fantasy. Only, in my fantasy, his semen hadn't clouded my ears, my vision, nor had it been smeared (thanks to me) all over my hair, pillow, and blanket.
TL;DR I asked my SO to finish on my face while I slept. When he actually did it, it was awful and more akin to a horror film than a porn
DitaVonPita: That's the issue with CNC. Revoking consent could be an issue.
RubioPaarmann: You can revoke consent anytime prior or during the act in cnc. There's no issue.
DitaVonPita: Unless you're sleeping or otherwise restrained beyond ability to resist. CNC is all fine and dandy until one miscommunication turns it to rape.
RubioPaarmann: In those cases you have to give consent beforehand. And if you're awaken, you can still revoke it.
DitaVonPita: Unless he finishes on you when you're still asleep. And then it's too late.
RubioPaarmann: That's why you consent to that beforehand, and then he will know it's okay to do that, what aren't you following?
DitaVonPita: That's giving consent in advance. You cannot always revoke it during the act. I'm following, you just seem to not understand how consent works. Morally speaking, anyone should be allowed to revoke consent, *even during the act.* However, CNC removes certain safeguards that can make it impossible to communicate that they want to stop. For example, acts during sleep are usually a big no-no, *because* you're not aware enough to revoke consent if you wish to. A miscommunication is all it takes and then there's trauma. I'm not the one who's not following. It's amazing that you're interested in CNC and need all of this spelled out, this should be a hazard you're well aware of. SSC, my dude, SSC, and always do your research.
RubioPaarmann: No, you're measuring other people's relationships with YOUR ruler. Stop trying to make it sound as if it's "not okay" somehow, to us it is, and our opinion is the only one that matters to us. I was purposely being condescending because of how stupid your point of view is. If YOU think there's chance of trauma happening, then it obviously isn't for you. There's ZERO chance that I'll be traumatised by being waken with sex by my significant other, unless it involves some other aspect that I'm never okay even when awake, and the same goes both ways.
DitaVonPita: I actually didn't. I said it's risky. Reread my comments until you get that. Nighty night ✨
| 10 | 2,034.5 | |
1662641394 | 1662669873 | t3_x8zomd | t5_2to41 | 19,741 | NotTrueLove: TIFU after leaving my date alone with my roommate
I didn't come home alone last night. I had a girl with me. She was confident and cute, and to be honest, I didn't expect someone like her to be interested in spending the night at my place considering how socially awkward I was during our entire date. My roommate was in the living room when we entered the apartment. I introduced the two of them before excusing myself to use the bathroom. I poop whenever I'm extremely nervous. I don't know why, but it's been like that since I was a kid.
For most people, the possibility of sex is usually a source of excitement. For an inexperienced, introverted and socially inept person like me, it's often a source of anxiety. Hence, the pooping. I decided to have a quick shower afterwards. Wash away whatever traces there were of my nervous reaction on the toilet. I must have been in the bathroom for more or less 30 minutes. I knew it was weird to disappear like that and I was totally prepared to awkwardly explain my absence.
However, when I returned to the living room, I realized no explanation was necessary. My date was sound asleep in my roommate's arms while he was still wide awake. As soon as he saw me, he did the finger in front of the lips shush thing. I had no idea what the two of them did in the short time I was gone, but I smelled weed and I noticed glow in the dark yoyo toys and hula hoops, which explained why the living room was darker than before.
My roommate suggested I smoke some weed to pass the time. I ended up smoking too much weed and eventually fell asleep on the couch. This morning when I woke up my roommate and my date were no longer in the living room. My first instinct was to check my roommate's room. There they were, literally sleeping together. Most of their clothes were on the floor, except underwear. I tiptoed to my roommate's side of the bed and woke him the fuck up.
The two of us whispered back and forth like we were discussing highly classified information. I accused him of fucking my date behind my back whereas he denied that anything sexual happened and reminded me that he's gay as fuck. Towards the end of our whisper war, I didn't know what to believe anymore. I was too upset to think clearly. By the time my date woke up, my roommate and I were in the kitchen, preparing breakfast in complete silence.
Long story short, my date backed up everything my roommate said. Nothing happened between them. Sleeping on the couch was uncomfortable and my roommate's bed was not. The end. I was outnumbered and desperate to defuse the tension, so I accepted whatever they said. Call me paranoid, but I'm convinced they fucked, which means even a gay guy has more success sleeping with girls than I do.
TL:DR I brought a girl home, left her alone with my roommate to use the bathroom and found her sleeping with him.
KittikatB: You're lucky she didn't just leave while you were showering. I would have, that's totally unnecessary. As long as you wipe your ass (or waterblast it if you've got a bidet) and wash your hands, you're fine. Women understand that men shit, it's not a secret.
Tanagrabelle: His friend probably entertained her in the hopes that his roommate would have happy times. Then she fell asleep and he was like, well, stuck now. And then roomy fell asleep, and she wasn't sober enough to leave. His roommate was stuck in caretaking mode. Which extended to helping make breakfast.
danielspoa: I would let her sleep in the bedroom while I sleep in the couch. Super weird if its my roommate's date, but better than sleeping with her.
AnalogToTheFuture: He's a gay man-- maybe chick was comfortably high, wanted to cuddle, and that was the least threatening choice 🤷♂️ Too awkward to cuddle your passed out stoned date, but gay roommate checks out.
Xijorn: Was it needed to undress everything except for their underwear for them to cuddle with eachother when they have just met?
Representative_Still: This might surprise you but most people take off their underwear when having sex
Xijorn: It doesn't surprise me, but that isn't my point. My point is that it seems pretty odd to undress to your underwear to cuddle with someone you have just met.
Representative_Still: I don’t know, I sleep in my underwear, they went to bed together, seems to make sense. Yeah it’d be weird if they were cuddling in underwear on the couch I guess.
Xijorn: I think the point you are missing is "with someone you just met"
Representative_Still: Have you ever gone out drinking with friends or gone to college? It’s kinda normal for people to crash with strangers they just met in a drug using environment, sex too depending on the drugs. It surprises you they would share a bed after meeting but OP trying to fuck her is normal?
Xijorn: Sure, but these guys didn't meet in a drug using environment. OP took her to his apartment. Unless I missed something where OP states that he told his date that his apartment is one of those environments.
I don't think OP is actively trying to fuck her, however he is preparing for the possibility of it happening. Reading his perspective on the story and his replies to some of the other comments it doesn't really seem like he would be as forward as actively trying to fuck her as he seems introverted and insecure.
My own take on all of this is that OP shouldn't have just bailed without notice on his date and I think the roommate sleeping with her in his bed when they are both undressed is a pretty dick move regardless of whether he is gay or not. I don't really have any blame to put on the girl since her date just kinda bailed. Although I do find it a bit odd to spend the night cuddling with a stranger regardless.
Representative_Still: On the bright side he has already confronted her about this so she probably won’t be seeing him again. I assume they were drinking on the date, possible they were not. When she was passed out he smelled weed, ostensibly she passed out from smoking it and whatever else they were doing, but that’s just circumstantial evidence. It is possible she was dead sober the entire night, just extremely unlikely from the story.
Xijorn: Yeah it's good that they wont see eachother again, it seems like the dude still needs to get some experience and self confidence. Like you said she could've been sober or drunk, but we don't really know that so we kinda just gotta work with what we have here.
Cronerburger: Ya but without info u cant be sure if it was awkward for the girl.
Xijorn: But that also goes for the opposite, without information you cant be sure if it wasn't awkward either. Like I said, before, all we have is the information we were presented with.
| 16 | 1,233.8125 | |
1662641633 | 1665419574 | t3_x8zs3u | t5_2to41 | 818 | goawayitstooearly: TIFU by nearly burning down our new house with a bowl of bananas
We got a nice designer fruit bowl for one of our wedding presents a few years back, and when we moved into our new place put it on the kitchen counter in front of the window, a normal place where fruit bowls might go go. It’s an oval shaped highly polished stainless steel bowl with an uneven wavy edge.
As we were still moving and had tradies around, we never put anything in it so it didn’t get dust on the fruit during work. Our last tradesman to come round was our electrician who is also a friend of ours, so in an effort to make the place look a bit nicer we wiped it out and stuck some bananas in it, dusted the place down and opened up the blinds so it would look nice when he turned up. We headed off to work and left some keys out for him to let himself in.
When he arrived an hour or so later the bowl had done a very convincing job of being an archimedes mirror death ray and focused the sunlight coming in the window onto the bananas so much that they were smoking away happily in the bowl. Without him turning up on time (a minor miracle) we would have had a little kitchen banana fire burning away in our brand new house thanks to our wedding present!
TL;DR: shiny wedding present bowl nearly sets fire to bananas, tradie turning up on time saves day
Banana proof: https://imgur.com/a/H39IKNl
DJvhhf: I am not going to read all this shit
Twist3dHipst3r: Then don’t. It’s three paragraphs, even comes with a TLDR. Is your attention span that low?
DJvhhf: Eat my ass bitch
Twist3dHipst3r: What a truly shining example of intelligence.
DJvhhf: Man shut up
Twist3dHipst3r: Mald harder
DJvhhf: Are you gay
| 8 | 102.25 | |
1662643033 | 1662649263 | t3_x90b20 | t5_2to41 | 8 | maddisonh33l: TIFU by analyzing your own saliva through a microscope in biology class and the teacher recognizes a kicking semen.
[removed]
MrGeekman: It could be worse. He could have called your parents and told them that you gave your boyfriend a blowjob.
Otfd: It's university? Why would they do that.. it's not high school.
MrGeekman: He’s the king and his class is his kingdom. You’d be surprised how drunk with power professors can become. These are the people who will write a textbook and assign it to their class just so they can collect royalties. They’ll give you a bad grade on a good paper just because they disagree with you, to the point where you have to pander to their beliefs.
Otfd: Still that is an adult.
My mom and I am sure many other parents would laugh that a professor felt the need to explain that their ADULT child is having sex.
MrGeekman: Yeah, I know. But it could happen. It’s very unlikely, but it could happen. Hell, if it’s a Catholic university, processors might even be required or at least expected to report sexual activity to parents.
Otfd: Idk man. That seems like a stretch but maybe.
MrGeekman: Yeah, it is pretty unlikely. But there are people who will get involved in the lives of others even when it’s completely unnecessary, unwelcome, unprovoked, and against the law/rules. This is unfortunately especially true with some ultra-religious people. They’ll do it because they think they’re doing the right thing and that God wants it, so they’ll endure any consequences to do what they (wrongly) believe is right.
A devoutly religious college professor might think the students parents deserve to know that their child is involved in sexual activity - even if such a notification could result in their termination if discovered.
Don’t get me wrong - I’m not anti-religion by any means. I just have problems with certain religious people.
A great example of ultra-religious people going too far is Jehovah’s Witnesses who work in hospitals reporting their fellow JW’s to the elders for getting a life-saving blood transfusion - even though such a report violates HIPAA and could cost them their job if their violation is discovered.
| 8 | 1 | |
1662644899 | 1662729840 | t3_x9100x | t5_2to41 | 24 | -Joka: TIFU by wanting to install a doggy door
So yesterday I decided to put in a doggy door in the front door because I was tired of the dogs barking in the morning to be let out. So Denise (my wife) and I got one of our pups and went to Petco, bought the door and headed home. When I got home I rolled my ankle the second I got out of the car like bad , it isn’t broke but I definitely at least sprained it. I decided to just deal with the pain for a bit and put in the door so I got all the tools I would need and marked the spot to cut out and the second I was about 1/2 way through cutting my door basically falls apart. It’s at this point around 6pm. I have a hole in my door that is not going to work with a doggy door. Turns out my front door is an interior door and not an exterior one so it’s all hollow inside. So I’m panicking at this point because we have a storm coming, it’s 6pm and doors are expensive at Lowe’s. I got lucky to find a door on FB marketplace I could buy and the lady selling it was willing to meet me so late so I could pick it up. So my wife and I drove to town in the rain to get the door. My dad was nice enough to buy it for me since money is very tight for my wife and I at the moment so I used his debt at an atm so I could give the lady cash. At the ATM I stopped at I couldn’t get it to accept the total I was trying to get out, so after a few tries I ask the cashier (who has been watching my since I walked in use the ATM) what’s up with it and she told me “it doesn’t have any cash in it”. A sooner heads up would have been great. So I stopped at another store to use their ATM. Drove to the ladies house, load up the door and headed back home. Stopped at a drive through to get my parents something to eat, least I could do after they bought me a new door. Got home to hand my dad his debt card and I can’t find it. So we searched the car frantically to find it and eventually we do thankfully because he was panicking because apparently he has to buy a suit for a family members wedding today and I’m guessing it isn’t going to be a cheap suit. So I call my cousin over to see if I could get a hand installing the new door. He gets there and we take the old door off and get the new one ready to be put onto the frame and realize that the “right opening metal door” is a “left opening wood door” meaning we either install it to open on the opposite side than what the other was or modify the door to mount the hinge backwards to work as the old one did. So we modified it. Few hours later and the door is installed. Thankfully I called him because it would have been 6am and I wouldn’t even have been close to getting it installed on my own, he does that sort of thing for a living and I’m clueless on all that. At this point it’s 11pm and I finally get my foot wrapped.
TLDR: wanted to put in a doggy door, then everything went wrong and now I have a new front door.
Scruffy42: Haha, too familiar. I need a doggy door. Took it down, cut it out. I cut it out on the wrong side, so you can just reach in and unlock the door from the outside... The replacement door was dirt cheap, but solid... Unfortunately this means I can't be bothered to replace it, but it's basically a giant block of wood. Boring and crappy...
-Joka: Man that sucks, so you accidentally cut the top of the door?
Scruffy42: That would have been hilarious! No, I just cut beneath the doorknob, instead of on the other side. So you could just reach in and unlock the door. Rookie mistake to be sure, but I thought it made sense at the time. I'm not sure it matters too much. This doggie door was meant for a larger dog. I imagine a human could fit through it anyway... I'm not going to think about it too hard.
| 4 | 6 | |
1662648713 | 1662734752 | t3_x92ilv | t5_2to41 | 4,255 | DontNumbYourNuts: TIFU by using a numbing cream on my balls before a vasectomy
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but about 3 months ago. Also this is a throwaway since a few friends and family know my main.
​
I have a couple of kids, and after my wife had a rough second pregnancy, we decided against having another. My wife doesn’t do well on the pill, so we decided our best option against having more kids is me getting a vasectomy. So I called a well reviewed urologist in the area and set up an appointment. When I went in for my initial consultation, the urologist said everything was fine except that I have a “hyperactive cremasteric muscle.” (Quick anatomy lesson: the cremasteric muscle is the muscle that controls how tight or loose your balls are.). I asked if that would be a problem, and he said no but that it would probably be a little more difficult and take an extra few minutes per side to do. But he seemed very confident that it would all go well despite this, so I decided to go ahead with it, and scheduled the procedure.
​
Jump forward a few weeks to the day of the vasectomy. I had recently found some lidocaine numbing cream my wife had leftover from her c-section. "What luck!” I exclaimed. "The urologist said it would be a little more difficult, so I’ll just numb up my nuts with this stuff so I won’t feel anything!” I thought naively.
​
So I lather the stuff on before I leave. I get to the office, check in, and decide to head to the bathroom just to see how numb I really was. When I dropped trou and look down…..apparently the cream caused some considerable shrinkage. I’m talking like Costanza getting out of an ice bath in January level shrinkage. I have no idea why, but my balls were seriously almost inside of me. But I gave them a quick tap all around and couldn’t feel anything. “Maybe since I’m so numb this won’t be so bad despite the shrinkage” I idiotically pontificated.
​
I get led into the procedure room and the nurse preps me. I’m laying there spread eagle with a fresh set of iodinated cojones when the urologist walks in. He says hi and looks down and says “uhhhh are you either cold or nervous?” I say no and he slowly says “o….k….it just looks like you’re a bit cold.” He then asks the nurse to raise the room temp and gets started. He hits me with the numbing needle and I feel absolutely nothing. Cool cool cool maybe this won’t be so bad. And for the first side (the left) it really wasn’t. For the uninitiated, it feels like someone squeezing your balls for a few minutes. Then when they grab the vas you get that feeling in your stomach like you got kicked in the nuts, but super intense and only for a few seconds then it’s over. He said it was a bit tougher than usual and took a few more mins than expected but that he got it and clipped it. He asked if I needed time to relax before the next side, and I said no just go ahead.
​
Well, apparently after the first side, my already contracted nuts decided they really didn’t like what was going on and my hyperactive cremasteric muscle went into spasm. My balls, which were previously almost inside of me, had somehow completely retracted. Needless to say, this caused the right side to be considerably more difficult since he had to coax my balls out of their prenatal home. I’m talking like almost a half hour of smashing and pulling and squeezing to the point where I had an ice pack on my head since I vagaled so bad I almost vomited twice. He asked if I wanted to stop and I’m like there is no way in hell I’m coming back so just keep going. He gives up with his incisionless technique and has to make an incision and about 5 minutes later it’s all over. I spend the the rest of the day with a bag of frozen peas in my underwear.
​
For the first few days, the left side was a little sore but got better by about day 3. The right side, however, never got better. It’s over 3 months later and I have constant dull pain in my right nut every day. I used to enjoy running, but can’t anymore because my heel hitting the ground too hard makes my right nut hurt. Certain amorous activities I used to enjoy are now out of the question due to discomfort. All those gentle hits to the nuts which before didn’t hurt (like your kid kicking you in the nuts while in a carrier) now have me keeling over in pain. I’m now taking anti-inflammatories every day, but this also means I have to take reflux medication since ibuprofen causes me to get awful heartburn. If this doesn’t work I’m looking at maybe botox injections or possibly surgery to fix the problem and even with that the results aren’t great.
​
​
tl;dr: Used a numbing cream on my nuts before a vasectomy. This caused the muscle controlling my balls to contract like crazy making the vasectomy significantly longer and more difficult for the urologist. I now have daily pain in my nuts. Don’t numb your nuts.
cjeam: PSA: Don't withhold information from medical professionals performing operations on you.
ms121e39: I opted out of the the pill to relax me, but I took 3 shots of tequila before the operation. All went well and I only felt a few points where the numbing hadn't taken effect. That was hell, but I was happy to lucky the whole time. Also, the doctor had said it's okay to do that if I didn't want the muscle relaxer. I just didn't tell them
fpcoffee: you a dumb mf. alcohol and anesthetic don’t mix
ms121e39: Doctor recommended because I don't take prescriptions whatsoever. It was either take a couple shots or take some Valium, and he was the one who recommended it be tequila, but he said 2 or 3 shots would have the same effect, not to go over that, which I didn't. There was lidocaine on the surgery site but I was awake for the procedure. I don't mind a local, but I'm devoutly against the use of most medications, this was more for the purpose of explaining my own story of not telling the doctor about what I did to prep for my vasectomy.
_TheNecromancer13: "against the use of drugs"
​
"uses alcohol instead"
​
oh the irony
ms121e39: Against habit forming prescription drugs, yes. Is there something wrong with that or are you nitpicking so you can still be right about something?
_TheNecromancer13: Ahh, so you're the type who is fine with using a drug (aka alcohol) that can be abused and bought over the counter, but if a doctor tells you to take a different drug that can also be abused, but it can't be bought over the counter, you suddenly have a problem with it because you view it differently due to societal stigma, even though when you look at the science, they're both mind-altering substances...
ms121e39: You assume societal stigma. I fucking hate how you guys make an assumption and run with it. Gotta explain a whole fucking life story for you guys to understand something about someone.
I was 12, broke my left radius and ulna, was given hydros as prescription. I took one the first day and had a really awful experience. I chose from then on to not ever take a prescription medication again. I threw them away, and 19 years later I did reject a vallium, based on childhood experience, not fucking societal stigma. Can you guys stop using subjective info as a fact?
_TheNecromancer13: You stated that you're fine with using alcohol as a painkiller despite the fact that alcohol is literally the most common drug that people abuse and get addicted to. You also stated that you refuse to use "habit forming perscription drugs" even when you have a legitimate reason to take them. I'm just going on what you said. Nothing subjective about that.
ms121e39: I never said alcohol was used as a painkiller, so yeah, that's yours subjective opinion of what I said. It's in lieu of a muscle relaxer my man. Which I stated multiple times.
I wouldn't try crack either btw, but it's because I don't want to. That's my choice to not wanna take prescriptions
| 11 | 386.818182 | |
1662649394 | 1662693685 | t3_x92ss2 | t5_2to41 | 471 | throwawayourloofa: TIFU by jizzing in my friend's loofah
So it's exactly what you just read, I'm not even dried off from my shower yet. I'm not sure what to do.
I was in the shower, and my friend has been staying here a couple days, for context they leave their loofah hanging on the faucet handle of my shower. Today I went to take said shower and decided to bust one out. I haven't had the chance in the past week or so and with them here, I also couldn't fuck my gf, who also lives here.
Anyway I decided to rub one out since I'd been pent up and horny. Normally a quicky like this produces a pretty low volume nut, more pour than shot. But apparently I'd REALLY been needing this so when I shot, it was a BURST. And against all odds it didn't just dribble, and didn't even get stopped by the shower water training down upon it. It sailed straight past the water and landed on my friend's loofah.
I IMMEDIATELY started trying to rinse it off with the water, but to little avail. I even was trying to pull it off bit by bit, as the heat from the water had all but turned the ejaculate into spider-man level ropes of protein. I don't know how to get it all out. Do I tell them?? Throw it away?? Leave it?? I can tell everyone is confused as to why I'm taking so long in the shower. What should I do???
Tl;dr - I nutted in my friend's loofah and now I'm the one that's fucked
Update: The loofah is gone. I took the manly advice.
sampjennings: Soap, dipshit
Reddit-username_here: The correct answer.
SadBlinxy: Cold water
Reddit-username_here: Yep and soap. Soap grabs that shit and washes it away if you've already gotten hot water on it.
| 5 | 94.2 | |
1662647490 | 1662652670 | t3_x920ig | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing with a very small pokeball
[deleted]
Runengeyst: I feel pain while reading that
thatstevesmith: Yea I’m not sure what was worse
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1662651906 | 1662721036 | t3_x93u0i | t5_2to41 | -5 | [deleted]: TIFU by hitting my husband
[deleted]
rtosser: Husband is an abusive asshole. Never hit animals. Fuck him. Leave.
shadesofwolves: So she's allowed to hit him but he's not allowed to hit the dog?
rtosser: She shouldn't have hit him either. But hitting your dog is beneath contempt and I view as a red flag.
shadesofwolves: Why can you not hold them both accountable?
rtosser: Agreed. My initial reaction was very focused on her husband for contemporary reasons I won't detail here. But there's also nothing excusing her in what I said. He's a piece of shit for hitting a dog.
shadesofwolves: I'm asking you specifically why you can't hold them both accountable.
rtosser: We're done here.
shadesofwolves: Unsurprising. They're both bad people, it's not difficult to say.
| 9 | -0.555556 | |
1662654538 | 1662707824 | t3_x94yi5 | t5_2to41 | 87 | scottertot: TIFU by cleaning out my girlfriend car
Obligatory this happened over the weekend, but came to a head last night.
My girlfriend was mentioning over the weekend that she was wanting to clean out her car. We have a toddler, so sometimes accomplishing tasks can be a little difficult. Toddler went down for a nap, girlfriend took that opportunity to take a 30 minutes snooze as well (toddler life is tough sometimes and you need to get that sleep when you can.).
It was at this point that I decided it would be a great idea to clean out her car. Not a detail job, but grab trash/clothes/things that belong inside the house and bring them in. I took all of the clothes to the laundry room and set them aside to wash. I didn't pay attention to the clothes that I grabbed, I just grabbed all of the clothes.
Last night, we were folding and putting clothes away when she came to a bra that didn't belong to her. She got really inquisitive, as anyone would. I had literally zero idea any details about the bra. I just thought that maybe she had purchased a new bra for herself and I didn't recognize it. It took us about an hour to realize that said bra belonged to her mother. For context - her mother lives in an assisted living facility and my partner often times purchases things for her and brings them in. If they don't fit/work out she returns them. Well, this particular bra was shoved under her seat in the car and she forgot to return in.
All ended up well, but damn that was a super awkward hour of me trying to explain that I didn't know anything about the bra and trying to think of where it came from.
In the end, while it was probably a nice gesture to help clean her car, I will leave all of the clothes alone in the future.
TL:DR - cleaned out my girlfriends car, suspicious bra got washed, awkward moments ensued.
MissyBee63: My FIL was in assisted living too, have your gf write her moms name on the tags or somewhere inside the garment.
Solja87: Those clothes were being returned so she can’t alter them like that.
| 3 | 29 | |
1662659025 | 1662677891 | t3_x96vvf | t5_2to41 | 10 | ardaayan: TIFU not only today but nowadays
[removed]
MusicalHiro: Hey OP, I understand how you feel. I got broken up from a 9 year relationship (fiancé too) this year (27m), so my heart is REALLY shattered for more than a week (still is). You have lots of girls out there who'll be more willing to be with you and with the same hobbies.
Best do something that you like for yourself (go on holiday and explore like I'm doing) it really helps. Asking friends for help is a great idea and they'll support what you're doing. But best let the girl and yourself have some time and see what the future holds.
Atm I know my ex will not want to be back with me in a relationship atm. I don't even know if my ex will come back to me even if I try in the future, but I do feel better for myself as a person and you'll learn from your mistakes.
ardaayan: Man appreciate your comment. I got a new lesson now cuz you're broke up with your 9 year relationship while mine is just 3 months and you're trying to do your best but I am just being miserable. thank you for valuable advices and I wish you good night. Wish I could strong like you
MusicalHiro: Np man, you're just 17, still young, finding yourself, and probably your first relationship.
Happens as a young adult. Like hell, I'm 27 and now I'm finding myself again as well.
Friends with good intentions will really help and push you forward, that's what they've done for me. Just walk on your path and you'll find something you'll enjoy and a better girl will come. 💪
ardaayan: Yes it was my first relationship probably it is why I can't get over it easily. But thank you sir for supporting me and now I feel way more good so far
| 5 | 2 | |
1662659760 | 1662661466 | t3_x978zt | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: tifu by getting my med card
[deleted]
Hikaman: Sure you got weed and not mushrooms or something lol.
Wolf110ci: Yeah it was weed. I bought it from a cannabis store
Hikaman: Yeah I was juat kidding around. But that is a one hell of a strong dose for that long of a break. That's really strong.
| 4 | 4 | |
1662659090 | 1662674395 | t3_x96wxj | t5_2to41 | 98 | Mundane-Criticism239: TIFU by blocking a guy then fearing for my life because of it
[removed]
penkster: I am willing to guarantee this person is not in the military at all, and is definitely not a general at age 34, and also not acting like a prick.
The US military doesn't tolerate this crap, so first thing I'd do if you do think he's military is contact the local office of whatever branch he's in and report him. I will lay money he's not actually in it (show his dog tags? yeaokay).
I'm sorry you're being treated this way, no one should be scared. If you know his name and information, I'd consider a restraining order, or at least make a police report to start an audit trail.
Good luck.
Mundane-Criticism239: Thank you for advice but he showed me the special ID high profile military dudes get and it had the ministry defense stamp with his pic in his uniform so I'm pretty damn sure he is at least a major. And yes the military here have severe consequences on harassment of citizens even by highly ranked soldiers, we have security on campus and they're a big reason why I'm not freaking out (completely) idk about reporting tho since I'm just some girl with no relatives or anything to help me out when stuff gets out of hand. I think I'll report when it's necessary and when there's proof or something to back me up cause again, dude's a general can't just press a heavy charge on him without proof.
Affectionate_Math_96: Okay, you don't have to press charges, but you can make authorities aware of it.
Go to the police and say some military guy was stalking you and ask what you should do if he approaches you again.
That way, they are aware of it and they can give you good advice.
Mundane-Criticism239: Okay I will try to find the nearest police station and ask there. Thank you
polarbear_05: im so glad you are ok right now! I advice you to wear something discreet for the time being and if possible cover your entire body (hoodie, long pants) and don't wear makeup or anything flattering, I hope he isn't in the area you are in rn while you go to the police station or sees you going there and becomes furious. Good luck on everything, I think you should try making friends with some of the elderly people of your area, atleast say hi to them every time you see them and eventually let them know about the dude if needed, I think this will help since they will look out for you and they're usually nice
| 6 | 16.333333 | |
1662663524 | 1662664380 | t3_x98ll4 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally playing CBAT on my class projector while we were watching the Queen’s death broadcast
[deleted]
ThisGuyRightHereSaid: At least it was some good music.
ThisGuyRightHereSaid: Also hilarious IMO
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1662664595 | 1664610530 | t3_x98xtg | t5_2to41 | 54 | wintercomputer: TIFU by playing CBAT in class while we were watching the Queen’s death broadcast
My college has a Wi-Fi that can be used for students, but it can also be used for faculty, over the last year, my college went ahead and decided for security reasons that it wouldn’t be a smart idea to continue that notion of having students and teachers be on the same Wi-Fi connection, so because of that, most of the faculty devices are now on their own connection that students cannot access.
However, not all of the faculty devices are on the new “faculty and staff only” Wi-Fi.
I live in Canada where the queen is head of state.
When the Queen died earlier today, my teacher stopped the seminar and started watching the live broadcasts of the death announcement and had it on the projector. As we all tuned in, I got distracted and just went ahead and decided I wanted to listen to music, not much too it to be honest, just put in my AirPods, and tried to start playing.
I played CBAT and went back to finishing my CS assignment when I realized that I wasn’t hearing the song from my AirPods.
The entire class was hearing CBAT through the projector.
My phone never connected to my AirPods, they connected to the projector on the same Wi-Fi and was playing through AirPlay.
“Nathan’s iPhone, CBAT - Hudson Mohawke”
My entire class looked at me in silence with myself even being asked to leave by professor.
tl;dr: Queen died. Professor put it on the screen in front of the whole class, and I accidentally streamed CBAT and disturbed the entire thing.
Jaerin: Just stop. People are trying so hard to make this a thing...
Dew25423: it's already a thing
Jaerin: Its not. It's been in like 2 reddit posts that barely made it to the front page.
Great-Engr: Lol go listen to the song comments and Tik Toks. Its totally a thing.
Jaerin: Great Tik-tok does all kinds of shit that doesn't make sense. Stealing Kia's is apparently a thing too because Tik-Tok does it. Just because Tik-Tok says people are doing it doesn't make it a thing.
Just say no to tik-tok
Great-Engr: Yeah, let's ignore the explosion of listeners (iirc Cbat last week had barely 100k listeners in total and now its close to 5 million) on youtube and topping the charts on Spotify. Let's ignore the articles on the song. Just go back to living in your bubble.
Jaerin: Except this post got no upvotes and didn't make it past the new tab. It's not a thing
Bbc20cm4u: It’s so much a thing, the artist of this song even reuploaded Cbat to YouTube 3 weeks ago to capitalize on the trend
Jaerin: Trying so hard to make it a thing you gotta necro this post to try again huh?
| 10 | 5.4 | |
1662665695 | 1662685098 | t3_x99g2m | t5_2to41 | 2,936 | user818128: TIFU by taking a picture of my girlfriend causing her to leave me
[removed]
Alymon: Give her some time, if she comes back or opens up communication with you again, apologize and hear her side of the story out.
She may just need time to cool down. Maybe she has a history with someone taking a photo against her will or someone lying to her about deleting a photo that you just don't know.
Zwavelwafel: Why would he need to apologize for taking a picture of his girlfriend? She needs to apologize for acting like a child. Its okay if she doesnt want pictures to get taken of her but just talk it out like (semi?) adults, this is an abnormal childish overreaction to the situation.
Alymon: It's less about taking the picture, and more about lying and indicating he didn't delete it. You don't know her history. You don't know if she has some trauma in her past that his actions triggered. Assuming she's being childish is leaping to conclusions here.
If he wants to fix the situation, he should try to open up communication with her after she's calmed down, and he should just apologize. Period. Then he should listen to her story about why she was so upset.
Y'all are jumping to conclusions based on the word of one side of the argument.
TrixFeer: Someone else’s trauma is not your responsibility, so sick of people using trauma as an excuse. You still did something wrong even if it is a trauma response. Talking about opening up communication? She’s the one that ran away, why should he have to do any of that?
Alymon: Maybe go read his update where he indicates that she was wearing something revealing and they had been arguing a lot lately. I’m not sure he’s the hill you want to die on.
TrixFeer: Or you know she could have stayed and talked about it? How is running away beneficial to any relationship? Still makes no sense
Alymon: The dude lied to her after taking a revealing oh toy of her. It makes perfect sense that she wouldn’t want to speak with him after he disrespected her wishes that much.
TrixFeer: What? Where did it say anywhere he lied to her?
Alymon: “After she asked me to delete it, I said “what if I didn’t?””
That’s him lying to her and being disrespectful. Before his edit, he made it out like she was being unreasonable. After his edit, suddenly more details come out that explain why she might have reacted more negatively than first appeared. What additional details is he still leaving out that he doesn’t want to share?
You assume overreaction without hearing her side of the story, despite the OP admitting that they had been arguing a lot recently, she was dressed in a manor that might be revealing and most people wouldn’t necessarily want pictures of themselves like that out there and he made fun of her being upset and made a joke about lying to her. It’s not a far leap to say she may have been justified in her reaction and the OP isn’t being 100% honest about the situation.
TrixFeer: Saying what if I didn’t is not lying if it is response to her asking him to delete it, it is him asking what if he did not. It is lying if he says oh yeah I deleted it and later says he didn’t. He added those details because people asked, if he was tryna paint himself super positively why would he even say that? He could have just said nah she was wearing a full on suit no skin showing, why did he decide to make himself look worse?
Alymon: He suggested he didn’t do something he did. That’s still a lie even if it’s a stupid lie. He talks about them arguing a lot recently and then he does something disrespectful to her, doubles down when she confronts him on it, and you wonder why she walked out and didn’t want to speak with him? She has every right to not want to deal with it be with someone who doesn’t respect her boundaries or personal wishes.
TrixFeer: Bro what are you going on about, it isn’t a lie if it is in response to a request. It’s a question. I don’t get how you’re tryna say that’s lying lmao. If the boundary was that she didn’t want her picture taken why would she not reply “I’ll leave if you don’t”? Leaving literally accomplished nothing and no communication is childish. If she wants to leave him she should say so, not run away with no explanation.
Also I find it hilarious you’re sitting here downvoting me 🤣🤣
Alymon: It’s a lie. He implied he didn’t do something he did. I’m not going to bicker over this. We can disagree but suggesting she should somehow stick around to talk after the OP admits they had been arguing a lot and that he took a picture in revealing clothing (which most people wouldn’t be okay with) and then disrespected her by making a joke out of deleting/not deleting the picture (whether you think his actions were lying or not) to talk about it is just not realistic. Nobody wants to have a conversation with someone who treats them that way and most people would need time to cool off first.
| 14 | 209.714286 | |
1662649468 | 1662687044 | t3_x92tvp | t5_2to41 | 179 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to breakup with my girlfriend in a way that she felt like it was a proposal
[deleted]
Icy_Engine_7648: I strongly urge you both to seek couples counseling before committing to marriage. Effective communication is essential
Yurtinx: Surely you mean family council because his gf will drag the entire family in so he can be told what a tool he is...
| 3 | 59.666667 | |
1662661063 | 1662667308 | t3_x97vcr | t5_2to41 | 54 | olhud2: TIFU by not knowing who let a Pink thong in my bedroom
Happened a couple years ago, but still a fuckup because my girlfriend still think I cheated on her.
At that time, we were in an appartment for the university. So occasionnaly, some people slept at our appartment after a party. We used to party together most of the time, but one night, while she was gone to see her family, I did a party at my appartment. We had two bedroom and I remember that a couple slept in the other room. A couple days after the party, while we were cleaning, my girlfriend found a pink thong on the floor in my bedroom that did not belong to her. I immediately said that it must belong to one a my body's girlfriend that slept in my room that night, but she was still suspicious. To clear this story and to reassure her, I decided to ask all if my friend that slept at my appartment in the last weeks if their girlfriend lost a pink thong. The fuckup happened there because no one claimed it was her. While I thought asking my friend was a good idea actually raised even more suspicions for my girlfriend. While I explained a lot of times to my girlfriend thar I did not cheat on her, she still think today that I lied to her. Let's just say that it had a huge impact on our relationship at that time, and even today.
P.S: sorry if my grammar is bad, English is not my mother tongue.
P.S2: I'm new at posting on reddit, sorry if I miss important parts.
TL;DR girlfriend found a pink thong that did not belong to her on my bedroom a couple years ago, still think that I cheated on her, even if I did not.
DrSmurfalicious: Let's say it was me.
olhud2: I knew I could count on redditors. Thx m8!
| 3 | 18 | |
1662663337 | 1662719840 | t3_x98js3 | t5_2to41 | 303 | silver_element: TIFU by scaring my wife just by being on the phone
Happened a few hours ago.
I went to pick up my wife from work. Usually I'm on point, today I was a bit later and on the phone with a friend.
I don't know why, but while in a call my phone does not recieve WhatsApp messages/calls and even if someone calls I don't recieve any alert or incoming call sound.
So I was in the parking lot relaxing on the phone, while my wife already left work and tried to call me multiple times and started thinking about calling the Police or ER because she thought I eneded up in a car crash.
Eventually she called a colleague at work to ask of my car was in the parking lot. Came back in tears and gave me an earful for not looking at the phone.
Tldr: late to pick up wife at work, didn't look at the phone, wife left already and thought I got in a car crash since phone didn't even rang.
Winter_Competition40: How long were you MIA? Is she being a tad bit hysterical? It doesn't sound like it's your fault....
silver_element: About 15min. Not my fault and she knows It. She overreacted because I'm always early and playing with the phone so I relpy when she calls or messages.
From my workplace to hers it's about 20/25mins but it's like a freeway with a lot of traffic and speeding cars. Alomost every day there is a car crash so I dont blame her for being a bit anxious.
Poinsettia917: I am a bit confused here. Were you running late because you were on the phone with a friend? You didn’t let her know you were running late? That does make it your fault.
Take a few minutes and set notifications properly on your phone. That’s also on you. Someday she may be in trouble and won’t be able to reach you.
She didn’t know what was going on. She didn’t overreact at all. You knew where you were, she didn’t. Fifteen minutes is an eternity when you’re scared.
You deserved a good lecture.
JimmyRedd: Also he went to pick up his wife from work, but she was already at home or something?
Poinsettia917: If I read it right, she must have either walked or found another way home to get home and didn’t find him there.
Better communication is needed. OP needs to check the notification settings.
EDIT: grammar
silver_element: Yes I need to check the phone settings for notifications.
I left work at 18.15 and usually she's done not before 19.00. I arrived at 19.05 but she already left (walked thoward home) because she finished early at 18.45
By that time I was driving and on the phone (connected to the bluetooth on the car) so I could not check the notifications. And when I arrived I just kept talking on the phone since I thought she was still in the office.
My bad for not letting her know before I was running a bit late.
Now I'll writer her whenever I leave work and when I get in front of her office.
Hungry_Treacle3376: Reddit will accept nothing less than a certified, notorized letter of expressed consent.
| 8 | 37.875 | |
1662666333 | 1662672134 | t3_x99qd6 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Existing_Midnight_31: TIFU by telling friend A’s “secret” to friend B
[removed]
scarpenter42: I would bet that is mad because she thought she could trust you and you betrayed that. If someone tells you a secret you shouldn't tell it to anyone else. Unless of course that secret has to do with safety and then you should get help from an adult.
Existing_Midnight_31: you are right, I should take that as a lesson and don't expect her to trust me again. thank you
scarpenter42: Trust can be earned back though, so it's possible that can be mended. Just take it as a lesson for future scenarios. This is just one of the things you learn in life through experience usually
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1662666737 | 1662674850 | t3_x99wpl | t5_2to41 | 10 | Striking_Major2528: TIFU by losing my wallet
Today started out great. Woke up with my partner, made us omelets, planned to spend most of the day hanging out, doing activities, playing Pokémon Go.
My partner and I had planned on picking up some dabs from a local dispensary - which you obviously need ID for.
Well somehow between my home, the car, and work, I lost my wallet. I checked home and the car, didn’t see it, so it must be at work. Hey no big deal we’ll just stop by work on the way to the park to play Pokémon Go and pick it up. Oops it’s not at work. So I’m like oh well at least he has his wallet and ID so he can pick up the weed order.
He proceeds to inform me that we will not be offering to go inside and pick the order up because I do this too often and he communicated earlier at the house that I should look harder and I was too dismissive and snappy about not looking more.
He said I needed to learn my lesson, and after we are done hanging out I should have to make an extra trip to the dispensary and back on my own so I learn my lesson to “work as a team more”
To which I responded, “you lose your stuff all the time and I don’t make a big deal out of it I just try to help you find and and have a good day, I don’t want to waste time driving back and forth today, especially when you could easily just go in and buy it yourself.”
I proceeded to make my case that this happens to everyone all the time, and we’re having a good morning why ruin our plans, I don’t need my wallet to play Pokémon and hang out, I have Apple Pay and can send him money if I need to from my phone.
And then he proceeded to tell me that he doesn’t want to hang out with me anymore and just wants to go home because I’m a mean person who won’t just hear him out - as we pulled into the parking lot at the park.
So I gave him the keys to the car and said if you want to go home over this than fine, but I’m going to stay and have fun because this isn’t that big of a deal and all I want to do is have fun with you.
So he left and now I’m at the park by myself and I guess my 8 year relationship is truly just ass.
TLDR: I lost my wallet around my house/car - so my boyfriend ditched me at the park and cancelled all our plans.
Devittraisedto2: Sounds like your boyfriend's a toddler
VoidCoelacanth: I'm not sure if it's more insulting to the BF to call him a toddler, or OP because that would make them a pedo-in-spirit 🤣
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1662670352 | 1662746965 | t3_x9bfzs | t5_2to41 | 853 | r2celjazz: TIFU by leaving my work laptop open
So this story takes place in two time frames. This first happened a few months ago. I was at home, just on my work laptop while eating my dinner (both my parents were out). I had left my laptop open at the table, and when I went to work the next day, there were 4 folders that were created on my laptop screen. They were named: “Sexy Stormtroopers”, “Birds I Find Attractive”, “Pictures of my feet”, and “Darth Vader Erotica”. I knew right away this was my Dad who had done this. He’s a prankster, and he even admitted to doing it and thought he was being funny. However, me being the lazy dumbo that I am, I hadn’t bothered to delete the folders.
Now fast forward to today. I had just gotten a new job, and today was my last day at my current job. I had to return my work laptop to IT and gave them the charger and everything. Well, on my way home driving it completely popped in my head that I hadn’t deleted the folders on my front screen. My heart sank for a second and now I’m sure everyone at my former job must think I’m secretly some absolute creep. So much for using them as future references haha.
TL/DR: left my laptop screen open a few months ago, father screwed around with it, and completely forgot to fix it when I returned it back to my now former job.
shadowslh: I work in IT and we love pranks. They probably think you made the empty folders to prank them. And they were probably disappointed that the folders were empty. I know I would have been!
The1BannedBandit: "I find your lack of Vader-themed porn disappointing..."
Ihavepills: Funnily enough, I'd want to see OPs feet pic collection. I don't have a thing for feet, but if someone loved theirs enough to make a folder of them, I'd definitely have to see what all the fuss was about.
Xyncx: I'm here for the birds, myself. What makes one bird more attractive than another?
Ihavepills: Again, not sure if you mean women or little dinosaurs with wings. Attraction is subjective. But if I had to guess (about the ones with wings) I'd say breast size and pretty colours.
Edit: Oh and perhaps their song and dance mating calls. My favourite was a little fat bird in the jungle that is going extinct because his dance is shit :( I can't remember what he was, I'll try to find a video for you!
| 6 | 142.166667 | |
1662670988 | 1662757859 | t3_x9bpxx | t5_2to41 | 56 | Outside_Cod667: TIFU by trying to impress my wife by running into a major hail storm, and then again by thinking that wound was healed enough to go swimming
Obligatory this didn't happen today, but a vacuum was attached to the wound today. This is also the wife's account.
We had an intense storm with some crazy hail. It was the size of a tennis ball and sounded like gun shots as it hit the porch. We could see some especially large hail balls in the yard. Being the dumb kids that we are, the wife and I were both dying to run out and grab one. Because fun. Because pictures. Why not race for even more fun?
Just kidding, of course we won't do that. It's fun to talk about but we aren't *actually* that stupid. That hail would knock us out!
That's what my wife was thinking anyway. She forgot that once I get a stupid, fun, dangerous idea in my head, I'd want to show off for her.
So I make a mad dash, as if I had just seen the golden snitch, and leaped off of the porch like a cracked-out gazelle. Ran a few yards, grabbed a piece of hail, dodged the ice balls being chucked out of the sky, and then... BAM. Went to jump back onto the porch and slipped on the wet grass.
I crawl back inside, determined to give my wife this treasure and prove my love.
It led to a sprained ankle, 3 stitches on the foot, and what appeared to be just severely scrapped skin on my leg.
Well, a month later it's healing pretty nicely. Except that my leg still hurts like a bitch. I just felt weak - that wasn't even the worst part! Get it together! It was occasionally oozing and leaking blood. But it wasn't often, the scab looked fine, and it wasn't infected. We're American so, you know, try not to go to the doctor.
Dear Reddit, I wish that was where my story ended.
Alas, it is not.
This past weekend we went to visit a dear friend and his new wife in their beautiful new home. It was a weekend celebration of their marriage with friends from all over the country.
They also had a pool.
I wasn't going to go in, but my wife insisted and it was hot. The leg is scabbed over pretty well, *it will be fine.*
Friends, it was not fine.
What I didn't know was that there was a gaping hole under that scab. Huh, I guess that's why it never stopped bleeding. The scab got wet and soggy and by the next day, it had come right off.
There was a 2cm gaping hole in my leg. Of course we shined a light through it and it just looked hollow.
I went back to the doctor when we returned. Both the doctor and the nurses were surprised and a bit disgusted by it. There was a student doctor as well, who was especially interested in wound care, so at least she was having a good time with it!
Today is what prompted me to write the FU. Because today I had a freaking vacuum attached to my leg wound, and I have to walk around with a vacuum in a fanny pack sucking crap out of this gaping hole in my leg.
Fret not! We have pictures for you disgusting redditors to oo and aah at, and so that you may provide your Google-doctorate medical knowledge for us! I'll post in the comments with an imgur link, I think auto mods are removing my post because of it.
Pictures start with the hail and get progressively more gross. There is a cat in one of the pictures - you're welcome.
TL;DR: Ran outside in hail storm and slipped on wet grass. A month later, went swimming, and revealed a giant hole in leg. Vacuum is now attached to leg to suck out the gross.
Edit: typos
KittikatB: This right here is why I would never move to America. I'm a clumsy fuck who makes stupid decisions. I need my public health care.
EDIT: I caved and looked at the pictures. You're fucking lucky to still have your leg. Had sepsis or gangrene started?
Outside_Cod667: (Wife here)
haha We do have decent health care (compared to most Americans anyway) since we both work in healthcare. We've had a few medical expenses this year though and medical billing is so confusing. I get bills from like 3 different places even though I went to 1 hospital, because the doctor is from one place and the x ray machine is from another?? Like honestly it couldn't be more confusing.
Thankfully it wasn't terribly infected so no sepsis, we think that a minor infection started after it was opened back up. He was put on antibiotics when the fall first happened. Doctor said it didn't look infected this time, but his swab came back positive so something was starting to brew. The doctor said this kind of thing usually goes undiagnosed and we are glad that we discovered it.
KittikatB: Good to hear that it's not as bad as it could have been. I hope your husband makes a good recovery.
| 4 | 14 | |
1662673220 | 1662705792 | t3_x9cn2y | t5_2to41 | 45 | Devalio: tifu by being a cheating asshole.
Long story short I've (29m) been in a codependant on-off relationship from the most melodramatic hollywood hell you can imagine for soon to be 8 yrs. We have a child (2yr old), who none of us actually wanted (she is the singular love of my life), together. We are not together, mind you.
This summer, after basically giving up on finding someone I could imagine spending my life with, The Powers That Be, dumped the girl of my dreams right into my lap.
Everything was awesome. Right from the start we hit it off. Kindred spirits, the whole nine yards. We'd both been through it and had some baggage, but we enjoyed having someone who finally "got it" to share with. She had just gotten over a violently jealous boyfriend who did a real number on her for years, and I had/have my ex who I wont even get into.
About 3 months in my ex and I have a fight because she mentioned details about her sexlife with her new bf and, surprisingly, I not only gave a shit, but even got angry and told her as much. I can count on about my two asshole hands how many times I've been openly upset with her. She is usually the one throwing a tantrum (yes that's absolutely the right word) while I keep a cool head and eventually gets the situation back on the ground. Or simply leave, beacuse I can only take so much after all these years and it never goes anywhere constructive anyway.
This time: not so.
After losing my temper we are both surprised at the emotions involved and the next day she comes over so we can hash it out face to face (only texting so far) and get back to normal (ish) co-parents. After all these years I still can't bear the idea of my daughter growing up with parents who openly hate each other and so I've worked hard to keep a civil+ relationship with my ex who I, in all honesty, hate almost as much as myself right now.
We meet. We talk. We fight. We calm down. We talk a little bit about the past and some of the stuff was nice. She's leaving, and wants a hug. We hug. Long. The voice I've learned to listen to in the back of my head starts going "woah cowboy". I manage to extract myself and say something like No we're not doing this. She kisses me. And I lose my mind.
I've never really done hard drugs or felt "the urge" that some people talk about when discussing addiction, but it sure sounds pretty similar.
The voice in my head is shoved screaming into a box and I do that terrible, godforsaken, idifuckingotic thing.
The moment its done I know what it means. I want to put my fingers into my brain and squeeze it, pull my hair out until my scalp comes off and light it on fire.
There is no way I can not tell her. Of course I tried. I can be clever on occasion. But not like that. I know I cant live a lie like that, and delaying can only make things worse.
The next day I'm sitting for I don't know how long trying to man up and break this wonderful woman's heart.
And then she calls me.
She's got a message from my ex.
I confirm. She hangs up. We talk later that night. She's gotten her stoneface back on. I mumble some drivel about how sorry I am and all that. I honestly don't remember much of it. What more is there to say? I have no excuses. None that I care to insult her with anyway...
And that's it. We've talked since then. I've given a detailed account of Tragic Backstory tm and all that bs. Didn't matter. I got her to trust me and open up about her violently jealous ex bf. And then I go and 10-up that mf... worst thing that ever happened to her. Worst thing I've ever done.
Thats it.
I keep trying to come up with things I could say to fix things, but I'm having a hard time trying to convince her to forgive me when I can't forgive myself. I hope she's better off, but I also know that we could have been great together. If only I... bah.
I just had to tell someone I guess. If you are reading this, stranger, please; feel no need to be kind.
Tl;dr: Grug no happy. Grug meet angel that make him happy. Grug break angel's heart. Now Grug even less happy.
End me.
Reddit-username_here:
>and I had/have my ex who I wont even get into
Seems like you lied here.
Devalio: How so?
It was just meant as a short way of saying there is a lot of history. Dont know what else you might mean
Reddit-username_here: Because you did get into her.
Devalio: Oh. Yeah
Majestic-Scale-1868: HAHAHAHAH the sudden realisation-
| 6 | 7.5 | |
1662674334 | 1662782591 | t3_x9d3tm | t5_2to41 | 13 | Local_Peak_8291: TIFU by adding a dot to a good night message.
(apologies for the formatting as I'm on mobile and don't have a laptop available)
context : me and my friends usually only use dots at the end of sentences to show if we are pissed off because of something. We chat via WhatsApp only because 1 of them lives far away and we can't meet up all that frequently.
The FU : tbh, i was pissed off today as i was being left on read the whole week by one friend in particular, stupid reason to be pissed off i guess, but oh well, it's the truth. So I went to say good night in our group chat and added a dot to the message, as i wasn't really thinking about the dot thing, it was my fault tho, as i should have noticed.
The FALLOUT : Before i could realize that ifu with that, as she's a little sensitive, she send me a long audio in a pissy voice about how i shouldn't be pissed, as she only left me on read for almost a week
TL:DR : OP adds a dot to a message and friend get all pissy over it
Edit : grammar, my enemy lol
YourMomsBleachedAnus: I’ve never heard of people having issues with full stops
fishfash: some people consider it poor texting etiquette, it can come off as cold; but sometimes people aren't thinking about that, so jumping immediately to "you're being rude" is a bit much imo
Mode-Klutzy: My apologies for proper sentences. 😂
fishfash: exactly, people forget that teachers hammered into us that every sentence has to end in a punctuation mark
SomebodyNobody275: Instead of “procrastination”, picture me adding a gif of SpongeBob saying “Punctuation”.
| 6 | 2.166667 | |
1662651781 | 1662677477 | t3_x93s6z | t5_2to41 | 20 | Master_Football5963: TIFU by being the reason my friend has abandonment issues
So I met my friend (we will call her J) just over 2 years ago through a group of mutuals and we hit it off pretty well. To be honest, we were both interested in each other romantically, so me and J flirted back and forth for a while, and we ended up getting very close. The only issue is that she was fairly inexperienced, and she didn't know how to communicate her feelings, so me being younger, and consequently more stupid than I am now, thought she didn't have interest in me, and after a while things kind of "simmered out" from my point of view.
All of a sudden she introduces me to her best friend (who we will call E). Me and E ended up being interested in each other, and we started talking more seriously, and eventually E and I date for a short period of time. This entire time J and I are still friends and all is good.
Fast forward a little bit, and I realize my feelings for J are still prominent and I was just trying to compensate for me supposed "rejection" by getting with E. At the time of my realization, J was in a fairly toxic relationship with a guy who neglected her, so I waited until she eventually figured her situation out and felt better before I sprung this information on her. She said she wanted nothing to do with me romantically, and I completely understood.
Me and J eventually lost contact because the group of people we were friends with split up, and everyone fragmented and went their separate ways.
Fast forward one year, I've moved cities and was coming back into town. Me and J had recently talked on social media, and we decided to meet up. It was interesting, to say the least. We both looked vastly different, I was almost a completely reformed person, and so was she, and she had just gotten out of another lenghty and abusive relationship with a guy named H. Eventually we go back to her place with a few other friends for drinks and to smoke. This opens doors for us, and we start to hang out with each other when I'm in town and our friendship picked up exactly where it left off.
Cut to present day, I'm heading into town and she sends me a text explaining that she's throwing a party at her place and that I should come. Naturally, I oblige.
The party mostly consisted of everyone there drinking way more than any of us should have. Of course this led to bad decisions, and me and J found our way to the bedroom where she pulled us onto the bed. Me, still having an ounce of sense left in my body, put a stop to everything. I told her this was a terrible idea, and that I wasn't going to do anything with her while we are drunk. She understands and we make her way back, and the night resumes as it was before. (I should note at this point that she is very needy for validation, and she flirts with guys heavily when she drinks, even other guys at this same party, so even though me and her have always had some chemistry, especially now that we were hanging out again, I just dismissed the whole event as her wanted to have her attractiveness validated).
At some point during the night I pull her to the side to try and talk to her, even though we were both still very drunk. Her actions have always been very strange to me, and I've never been able to fully understand why she acts the way she does (such as continuously going back H). I ask J what her problem is, and why she was throwing herself at the guys at the party, and the conversation degraded into her pleading to me, asking if she was hot enough, and asking why she wasn't hot enough for me. I get her to stop and ask her why she would ask me these things.
She said "Do you remember when me and you used to like each other all that time ago? And then you threw it all away just to get with E? I liked you so much, and I couldn't sleep for DAYS! I lied awake at night asking myself why I wasn't good enough for you. I wanted to kill E, and you know OP, maybe I should've just killed you instead."
This is where everything clicked. The reason she was never interested in me, even though she thought I was attractive. She was scared of me ditching her again. The reason she continues to go back to H, even though she is beautiful and he is ugly and abuses her. Because she knows he will never find another beautiful woman who will stay with him. He will never leave her like I left her. The reason she has the constant need for validation. Everything.
The next few days I ask her if the reason she goes back to H is because she knows he won't leave her, and she says yes. I didn't ask her if the reason she is scared of people leaving her is because of me, but I just know. There's no need to ask.
TL:DR I left my friend who I was interested in having a relationship with, and who was interested in having a relationship with me, for her bestfriend. Now she has abandonment issues and she continues to go back to her abusive ex because she knows he won't leave her like I did.
MusicalHiro: Dunno what to really say but does sounds like it's your fault. But if you still like her, then you should help her by pulling her away from the abusive relationship and into YOU.
And assure her you wouldn't go with someone else, even letting her move in may help 🤷
She needs the trust and she definitely needs her self confidence which is where you van help.
This is what I believe
Master_Football5963: It's 100% my fault, and I'm not sure how I feel because I have a lot of different factors moving around in my life right now, and a ton of uncertainty. However, one thing I'm certain of is that I care. I'm not sure I would be the best person to take care of her, but I'm definitely trying to pull her away from her toxic relationship and I'm trying to help her with her confidence. There's only so much a guy can do though, yknow.
MusicalHiro: Hmm I'm not the best in these situations, but does she have any good friends? Preferably female, cause like you said, there's only much a guy can do. I feel like if she has any good decent close friends, it would really help. Like damn, if you have any close friends, she can meet them and gets some close connections. I think she defo needs some good friends to help her move on and start trusting someone better. I dunno if counselling would work, but at least you care for her.
Hard to see how well this will go and hopefully everything will get better for her, but yh, number priority is the trust and self-confidence. Maybe counselling can help too? 🤷
Master_Football5963: I'm afraid the main issue is accepting help instead of ignoring the problem. Getting her to talk about anything serious is like pulling teeth, unfortunately. But yes, she does have one really close female friend, and sadly enough her other close female friend betrayed her and the abusive ex cheated on my friend with this girl, so she really isn't in the picture. I'm gonna give it some time and just see how it all goes, thanks for the help
MusicalHiro: Wow. No wonder she has trust issues. Holy shit, her life is a wreck 😔
Stay close to her man, ya gonna have to get that trust on YOU back and be her number 1 shoulder to lean on, but yh. Do you have any good trustable friends? If so, let her in the circle and maybe that'll help her trust people again.
Will be a slow process but good luck man 💪
Master_Football5963: I'm back and forth in and out of town, so staying close is pretty difficult. But yeah, she's gone through the ringer. I've introduced her to some good friends of mine and she's became friends with them as well. I plan to stick it out, thanks again lol
| 7 | 2.857143 | |
1662677165 | 1662689585 | t3_x9e95s | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU arguing with my dumbass English teacher
[deleted]
WilliamMinorsWords: Bruh
You entirely missed his point.
He was giving you a lesson in using factual sources when you do you work. He was also teaching you how to hold your own in a debate by separating fact vs opinion.
I'm a teacher, and I always wonder how many of my well thought out lessons are totally lost on students and then they go on social media to post about how they utterly missed the point.
misterfriend: There were a lot of things in the first half that really show how kids hate critical thinkers and view them as awful weirdos. The lack of humility or effort to see things from the teacher's perspective is breathtaking. These guys might be the best friends a young person could ever have, but they get demonized for not fitting the expected mould.
Based on the narrative, I'm also inclined to think that the OP was entirely disruptive. Perhaps the teacher allowed it out of curiosity and to allow fair counterpoints to a dialogue.
MystcManzaray: he once read the bible to a class, told a Syrian refuge who was trying to help his buddy write an essay that he couldnt help bc he didnt know how to speak english well, he was the javilan throwing coach for track and said that everyone has to wear sunscreen even people of color lmao this is not him trying to teach this is him irl lmao.
misterfriend: Here's a little homework assignment for you:
There are arguable reasons why he would say or do these things. Can you tell me what they might be?
You really don't see the damage you're doing, and it's a shame. But please, keep submitting reasons for us to dislike him rather than explore your own attitude and behaviour.
MystcManzaray: im sorry what? you justify reading the bible in a Canadian city? buddy think about what would happen if a Muslim started to read the Quran to a bunch of teenagers lmao obviously he is a white privileged male lmao.
misterfriend: Do your homework, then I'll get back to you.
MystcManzaray: haha isn't this called an ad hominem argument? lmao. instead of arguing with reasons u just start insulting the person themselves lmao.
misterfriend: I'm not insulting you. I'm reserving those for the event that you get belligerent with me. I'm asking you to do a little thinking, and so far you refuse to and deflect. Explain to me why he would say and do the things you listed as "bad," to give me a clear idea of why you feel he is a dysfunctional teacher. I'm middle-aged and I would give my left nut to hang out with people who would dare to challenge the incurious.
So, I gave you homework. I think it's fair and respectful, and it gives you an opportunity to pull yourself out of this mess that you're making. Maybe you'll even see why this teacher of yours isn't such a bad guy. You might thank him.
Let me remind you that this is r/tifu. You've taken this opportunity to talk about what your teacher did wrong, painting yourself as "obviously" the hero of the story. Your only mistake was disagreeing with someone, and that isn't a mistake unless you really believe disagreeing with people is wrong. Please tell me that you don't believe that.
MystcManzaray: the fuck up was when i disagreed with him. anyone who has taken his course and gotten a good mark is bc they did not disagree. i told my self to not argue and just agree to what he has to say but i slipped up got mad and now he is deff going to be biased towards me.
MystcManzaray: he did those things the same way any racist would bc he is ignorant and needs to be enlightened. if u search up the best ways to deal with racist ppl it's to teach them that doing so and so is not right. why saying certain things are not okay bc they impact other ppl.
misterfriend: I am neither your teacher nor your friend, but I am a concerned individual who is taking in everything you're saying and realizing just your perspective. It seems that ONLY you can be right. You haven't begun to see where he's coming from, and I don't think you'd even consider having a talk with this man to try to resolve this. You'd sooner double down with an internet stranger than try to make things right.
You want someone to say that you should make his job or life very difficult because he's clearly a creep in your eyes, but I'm not going to. I think you should really try to adjust your mentality as well as your classroom conduct. Disagreeing and even arguing is not the problem, it's the disrespect and entitlement that you have, from my perspective. I am sure you will disagree with that, without a doubt.
Please answer the homework question I have assigned you. If you can't or won't, you get an F and this conversation is over.
MystcManzaray: oh my days. he is the entitaled 1 bc he feels he can read the bible and talk about religion in an english class. if this was a religion class i would be fine with him going on about that but this is an english class. i am literly trying to do the "homework" you have given me, i understand i should not have been disrespectful that was teh fuck up but he made the greater mistake by bringing religion into every convo lmao. ik where he is coming from, hes coming from a racist perspective u can not understand my situation ig since u are clearly not from a minority group. have a good day.
misterfriend: You are mentally lazy, you lack essential critical thinking skills and your character is utterly in the toilet. Knowing nothing about you or how you identify, based only on what I gather in this conversation, I get the feeling that this problem you're having is going to recur. You're going to hurt a lot of people before you awaken from your folly, and you'll apologize to no one after because of the three faults listed that you won't work on.
You may now say I have insulted you, but that's also your grade and I've given you many points that you can work on. Don't be a cautionary tale for others.
May I suggest to you that you have a little humility and go speak with the teacher? Ask him why he says and does the things he does, point by point without interrupting him with your own conjecture? You may find this kind of dialogue both uplifting and informative.
MystcManzaray: u know what sure ill have a convo with him and see what he means. its just i dont understand do u think reading the bible in class is okay?
Lonely-Persimmon2051: How is he a racist for analyzing the Bible and discussing it with the class? Yes it's a religious book but there's a lot you learn from understanding the literature. There's nothing wrong with analyzing religious texts in a literary setting. Nothing you've said makes me think your teacher is racist, all I've gathered from this is that youre ignorant and lack critical thinking skills
misterfriend: I think the racist remark stems from insisting people of colour need to wear sunblock. Which I think is not just appropriate but any adult's duty. He's not worried about tans, he's worried about harmful sun damage to the skin.
That, or his being white makes him such by default.
Lonely-Persimmon2051: I'm black and a lot of people have been surprised when I tell them I don't need suncream. We can still get sunburnt so it's better to be safe. I reckon the teacher wasn't aware or like you said or didn't want to risk them getting sun damage
misterfriend: Some teachers would need to be told to make it mandatory for all, for obvious reasons. I don't know why he wouldn't, based on what I have ever learned.
I really don't know where this guy is coming from, but this is clearly his throwaway account. He wanted to beak off and get people to join his side. Maybe urge him on to try something nasty. I get bummed out by the balls some young people have. It would be encouraging maybe if they were slightly inflective.
| 19 | 1.736842 | |
1662677230 | 1662741047 | t3_x9ea4a | t5_2to41 | 2,546 | Biddo696969: TIFU by making my brother develop the deepest fear for sailor moon.
I (16m) have been watching sailor moon every day since when I was 9. I'm not saying that i would watch it 24/7 and not have the slightest social life, but i would watch it for 1/2 hours while i had lunch after school (i was basically alone in my house except for my father) and so i would watch like 4-6 episode everyday, unless there was a special event. (To clarify: I'm not into sailor moon hentai stuffs nor I find sailor moon attractive, i Just like the show
Anyways, my brother (22) seems tired of this, because now he study's from home and whenever i get back to school or ate lunch when I am alone except for him, he would be forced to listen to sailor moon.
Some days ago he asked me if I could stop watching that stupid show (it's the 14th time i was rewatching it + the movies + I've read all the mangas 6 times) and that i should concentrate on studying/hanging out with my friends.
1. I always study after school, i usually take a 1 hour nap after sailor moon and then do my homework.
2. I always hangout with my friends like 3 times a week except for casualties, and i have plenty of relationship (many girls find me attractive because i am addicted to sailor moon)
After 3 days of continuing asking me to stop watching the show, i snapped. I decided to gather everything i had about sailor moon (and no there wasn't a waifu pillow) and put it in his room while he was asleep.
Yesterday at 01:00 am, i started filling his room with everything: posters, mangas, cd, books. I set his phone's notification sound has the sound sailor moon does when she transforms, and put his alarm clock sound has sailor moon op. I then settled his TV to automatically reproduce sailor moon when he would wake up.
Today at around 8:30 am (I'm not going to school because summer holiday) my brother woke up and he felt hell: he started screaming, his TV was playing sailor moon, i was texting him and calling him while his alarm clock was going off to sailor moon op.
I felt bad for him but now he is okay he has no kind of harm or anything.
However, whenever he sees sailor moon he goes crazy and does whatever to stop every contact with her, puts on headphone with music and cover his eyes.
So yeah, TIFU by giving my brother sailor moon ptsd of sailor moon but at least j can watch the show in peace.
TL:DR my brother pissed me off about me watching sailor moon so i gave him ptsd by filling his room of sailor moon stuffs
RunningLowOnBrain: We do a moderate amount of tomfoolery.
Sir-Viette: Someone needs to start a band called “A Moderate Amount Of Tomfoolery”
SoyMurcielago: And when they tour their warmup can be “Cut the Malarkey, eh?”
Kadelbdr: the band is canadian?
SoyMurcielago: [They sure are](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Band?wprov=sfti1)
Kadelbdr: r/angryupvote
SoyMurcielago: 
| 8 | 318.25 | |
1662679880 | 1662859965 | t3_x9fblq | t5_2to41 | 1,740 | PoopyPoodlePaws: TIFU Betting the Queen would die
CW The queens death? if that isn't obvious
Some backstory:
4 years ago at an online boardgame night on NYE, me and some other friends made guesses on what the new year would bring, things like Aliens, Scandals ect... This became a thing the next year, my Guess was that the queen would die. So for every year i've said that the queen will die this year.
This year, Prince Phillip died, and I realized that this would genuinely be the year she dies, because old people tend to peg it together. Each piece of news about her health made me more convinced, and so I started making countless bets with people, over everything I could all on the idea that the queen would be dead before Jan 1st 2023.
So today comes around, and I find out that many royals are going to her castle, and I know today is the day. I double down, saying today will be the day with some people, I go out and buy a 'Decorate yourself cake' and some red icing, I get home, and Ice it with "goodbye Liz" and a skull and cross-bones. thus I start biding my time.
then comes the news of her dying, and I explode in joy, I'm laughing I'm telling all my friends, and cashing in bets, not everyone has paid but i'm already in triple digits of £££. I am telling people who who, and didn't know I'd made the bets that I was right. it was glorious, I was basking in the glory of being right finally, and the smugness that came with it. It was a good day, I showed people pictures of me with my cake, and I was happy.
Here's the fuck up, I realized that now the news has started dying down, and as I write this, that I have been happier today for those few shorts hours, over an old lady dying than I have been in years. Celebrating 'Liz dying has been a better birthday than my actual birthday for many years, people congratulated me because they remembered (unlike my birthday) me making the bets, we had laughs, and It was a good time. now that it's over I realize I haven't felt genuine happyness in a very long time, including pre-covid.
TLDR; Realized i've been happier over the queen dying, than I have been over anything in years
Cake tax: [https://imgur.com/a/7KlF09p](https://imgur.com/a/7KlF09p)
XXX_BrokenAss123_XXX: Yo whz ppl laughin at queens death am i missin somethin?
RealFarknMcCoy: Look up "colonialism".
Rejusu: So they can get an education on how the Queen was born after British colonialism had largely ended and that it was certainly largely over by the time she was crowned? So they can learn how the monarchy had been reduced to primarily a ceremonial/advisory role with no significant political power when she took the throne? And how the sins of British colonialism should be more aptly laid at the governing powers of the time? Nevermind the fact that even if you want to delude yourself into believing she bore some personal responsibility for it then laughter is still hardly an appropriate response.
If they want to know why people are laughing at her death they should look up "ghoulish".
Ralfarius: The queen was an active participant in colonialism and violent repression. See how the Brits treated Kenyan efforts for independence under her rule. She was an active oppressor, not "just" a beneficiary of oppression.
Rejusu: Exactly how was she an active participant? You think she was commanding the parliament at the time to oppress Kenyans? Or perhaps you think she was out there in the field ordering British soldiers about? Or maybe was she running around Africa with a rifle?
It's amazing how critics of the Monarchy will claim how pointless they are because they have no real power and yet at the same time hold them personally accountable for every atrocity committed by the British government. Meanwhile many of the actual oppressors get quietly forgotten because of this myopic focus on the Royal family.
RealFarknMcCoy: She was in Africa when her father died. She was an active participant in colonialism. I'm sorry you weren't better educated.
Rejusu: I'm sorry you're such a simpleton, no amount of education will fix what's wrong in your brain. Proximity does not equal participation. She was there on a royal tour because her father was too ill to go. It was months before the Mau Mau uprising really kicked off and long before the British government sent in armed reinforcements to suppress it. At best you can accuse her of posturing to keep the people in line, really though she spent most of the time watching elephants by all accounts.
At this point in history the Royal family lacked the authority or the means to participate in colonialism or violent repression. The Queen was never more than an influential figurehead. She wasn't a maker of policy or a commander of troops. But I guess she did make a convenient scapegoat for those people. Why blame the people with actual authority am I right? Nope all the Queen's fault, just forget about the bloody legacy of those that bear the actual responsibility.
But I shouldn't expect an intelligent response from someone who thinks an appropriate answer to the question of how she was an active participant in colonialism is "She was in Africa". Next you'll tell me Albert Einstein was a Nazi because he was in Germany during Hitlers rise to power.
| 8 | 217.5 | |
1662682397 | 1662744389 | t3_x9ga0f | t5_2to41 | 148 | awyIthro: TIFU buttchugging
So the other day I (20M) was getting drunk and decided it might be a good idea to take a bath, I ended up deciding that it would be a good time to masturbate.
I begin to do this when I realize that I should get more drunk, because why not?
I decided that I was tired of the taste of vodka and went into my tool box to grab a funnel, probably about 7 inches long and pretty skinny. I do the deed and quickly realize it burns pretty bad. I probably put about 3 or so ounces in there at that point when I figured I should stop. So I just take a shower and go to bed, at this point my stomach is hurting pretty bad but I ignored it and fell asleep around 9:30 pm
I then wake up at 3:00 am with even worse pain and decide to use the toilet, I notice my shit is just completely liquid so I look down and I’m just shitting straight blood. This continued for about 30 minutes when I decided to wake up my partner (20F) to take me to the hospital. I go to the first hospital and they decide that they can’t accept my insurance so the direct me to another hospital a few miles away. Now I am in terrible pain and felt like I was going to pass out. I got to the ER and they pretty quickly put me in a ER room on IV drip, I’m told I can’t eat at all or drink any liquids. My partner makes me tell them exactly what happened (although rather embarrassing at the time definitely necessary) and he’s impressed, even gives me advice on how to do it right for the future.
They leave me alone after they’ve stabilized me and I end up shitting blood and pissing a ton pretty much every 30 minutes. After awhile they give me a CT scan and tell me my colon is inflamed. (CT scans feel weird as hell) I end up staying in the ER for 18 hours because the hospital was full, so I was waiting on someone to die or get better. At the 16 hour mark I stop bleeding and I’m pretty hungry and annoying that I’ve been there for so long. I do some research and ask about leaving AMA (against medical advice) they tell me I could do that but My insurance wouldn’t cover any of the visit. They eventually get me into an impatient ward where I’m allowed to eat one meal. In the morning I call my insurance and ask they about AMA, they said the do cover it so I told them I was just going to leave.
I end up leaving that morning and got some food. Later on my primary care doctor, on a military facility, tells me the inflammation could be infectious colitis and I might die so I must go back to the ER. (I can’t tell them about the alcohol/ butt chugging because I’ll definitely get into legal trouble with the military)
I tell them ok and go straight to the ER, it’s the afternoon so it took me about two hours to get into a room. I explain the situation to the nurse and he tells me that I’m not and 80 year old diabetic so there’s no way I have infectious colitis and that if they bleeding stopped I’m probably good, they run tests on me and decide to discharge me.
TL;DR Lesson learned, sharp objects + butthole = not good.
PissOffRosss: Wait why I would u get in trouble for butt chugging ? Surely you wouldn’t get in trouble for like regular chugging of alvlcohol ? So why would the fact that u put it up your ass get you in trouble other than the fact that they will probably rip the shit out of you and Call you butt chug for the rest of your life. 😂
Wloak: Doctor/patient confidentiality doesn't work the same in the military for one. A commanding officer can request all of your medical records and if they have reason the doctor will provide them.
Being in the hospital that long it's possible the guy missed duty so his commanding officer could request records to make sure he wasn't AWOL, private hospitals won't tell them anything but a military doctor would.
PissOffRosss: Ok but if he was in the hospital because he needed to be treated even if he missed duty would that not be ok ? Cuz it would prove he wasn’t just like not doing what he was supposed to because he just slept in or whatever ?
Wloak: Number one is that he was drinking underage and would be punished for violating federal law, possibly even court martialed because his breaking the law made him miss service to the country.
Second, and take this with a grain of salt since I've not served but I hear it from grandparents, parents, aunts/uncles, and brothers that something like this will follow you for your entire career in the military. Anytime you're up for a promotion or posting word will get around about how little critical thinking you have and drop you to the bottom of any list. This matters because if you get passed over for promotion twice in a row you can be discharged without any further reason.
Majilkins: Number 1 is not true I joined the army at 18 and was allowed to buy alcohol on and off base, just needed to show my military ID and drivers license. My dad had the same experience while in the airforce.
Wloak: Was that the 1980s before the legal drinking age was raised to 21? The fact that you're in the military doesn't give you a magic pass to buy booze off base in the US.
Majilkins: I joined the army in 2005. I was told if you're old enough to fight and die for this country, you're old enough to drink.
Wloak: That's not a thing, you found one guy willing to break the law for you at the gas station but there's no chance you were strolling in and out of a Walmart with booze. I graduated HS around when you joined and had several friends in the military still using the same people to buy for them in bumfuck Missouri, even know a kid who I graduated with that got booted from the army for repeatedly getting caught with alcohol underage (he had a lot of other strikes against him on top of that though).
Majilkins: Don't know about that. I was buying at Walmart and other gas stations even for my friends who were older. Not to mention I'd also buy on base at 18. My cousin just joined at 18 as well and is buying on and off base. We are given rations cards which allow us to buy on base, and when showing military card off base no one questions it. Now if they need to scan the ID it won't work.
Wloak: You probably just looked old enough and got the cursory id check, otherwise my friends who joined the same year you did wouldn't have been relying on our older friends to buy.
Either way it doesn't change that drinking underage can be used to give you the boot. They'll look the other way a lot but if you're the type of idiot to shove a funnel up your ass and pour vodka in it's probably likely you've done a lot of other dumb shit your CO is tired of
Majilkins: Thing is it doesn't cause you to get kicked. They literally give you rations cards to buy alcohol on base. But yes you do dumb shit your gunna get kicked out
| 12 | 12.333333 | |
1662684375 | 1665728194 | t3_x9h0gc | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by accusing my boyfriend of cheating
So the title is basically self explanatory. My (28f) boyfriend “James” (27m) is basically the man of my dreams. 8 years ago I met him and fell in love.. He checked all boxes of a good, honest man, took care of his children (who I also fell in love with), had his own place, his own car, and everything. 8 years of love, bliss, acceptance, everything. But lately things started to become weird and I couldn’t understand why.
He started to become very secretive. He started giving me one word answers or very short answers. He started to become very protective of his phone (which is very unlike him as we have an open door policy on phones, he has the code to mine and I have the code to his) and whenever he looked at his phone he would smile and when I would ask “what are you looking at” he would say “nothing” and quickly put his phone down. This all started about a month ago.
I told my closet girlfriends and my sister about this and they all came to the conclusion that he was cheating on me. I thought there is no way in hell he could be doing that because that’s not his character at all and they suggested I look up signs of cheating, I did and he checked all the boxes of cheating and to say it broke me is an understatement and they all comforted me. I stayed the night at my girlfriend “Megan” house and all night James was calling and texting me. I finally texted him back saying that I was spending the night at Megan’s house and I’ll be home in the next day or two and he said ok. Two nights later, he texted me if I was coming home today and I said yes. The girls convinced me to go to the house to confront him and that they would be there for support.
As we drive to the house, I walked into the house with him standing there with a smile on his face dressed up to the nine and as he tries to kiss me I back away and my friends immediately enter the house and read him the riot act while I stand there trying not to cry my eyes out (it doesn’t work). As they continue he finally yells “what’s going on” and Megan yells “you’ve been cheating on OP”. Jack then says “I’ve been what? No I haven’t”. Then Megan says prove it. As he tries to talk to me they push him back and tell him not to go near me and I then tell them to let him through and he asks me “do you really think I’ve been cheating on you” and I shake my head and he says “I haven’t” and I then ask “how do I know that, what’s your proof”. He then asks me what today is and I say September 7th. He then says say it again and I say September 7th and again nothing. He then asks me one more time and I say September 7th again and it dawns on me, it’s September 7th our 8th anniversary and then my friends and I can’t believe it.
He then tells me that he’s been planning this for a month and he’s sorry he’s been secretive but he wanted it to be a surprise. Megan then asks about the being secretive with the phone and it being your anniversary doesn’t absolve you of anything. That’s when he says “you’re right”. He then takes me hand looks me in my eyes and says “OP since the day I met you, I knew I found the one, I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with and the woman I wanted to have my children” he gets down and one knee and asks me to marry him. At this point it’s silent and between the tears I say yes and we become engaged and share hugs and kisses. He then looks at my friends and asks if they are hungry and he then cooks food for all of us.
After dinnner he asked what was that and we all explain to him and he laughs. We ask for his forgiveness and he says no problem we are all good and that night me and him share a laugh before going to bed as newly engaged.
TLDR; accused my boyfriend of cheating, confronted him, turns out he was planning our 8th anniversary and asked me to marry him. We are now engaged.
waddle_away: What an odd time to propose
SalamanderPatient901: Plot twist, he was actually cheating and he had the ring on hand always in case the day came she would find out and confront him
Spirited-Raisin1989: or not.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1662687164 | 1662851680 | t3_x9i1h5 | t5_2to41 | 16 | fede123456789: TIFU by being suspicious at my best friend
Before I start, I just wanted to say that this is my first post here and English is not my 1st language, so please bear with me.
A bit of context: I (18M) never really had any friends due to my social anxiety (I'm also on the autism spectrum and suffer from NPD - Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and my house's and school's environment (my father, after getting the news of my mother pregnant with me, left us and my mother is always stressed due to work and she always picks if up on me and I was always bullied since I'm a pretty small dude) so it wasn't very easy for me to make friends. This went on and on over the years and my mental health kept getting worse by school work and looking at everyone having fun with other people while I was just standing there hoping for someone to talk to me since I didn't have enough courage to the point where I had to go to therapy for 4 years and the only thing that really brought me any kind of emotion was playing videogames, which I always loved and still do.
In October 2020, a few months after the pandemic started, I met what would become my best and only friend (A, 21F) because I needed help for an in-game quest and she was willing to help me. After the first day, we kept playing together, sometimes with her boyfriend, sometimes with her friends, sometimes just us 2 but she always tried to make sure I wasn't alone, since I told her about my past and she was sympathetic towards me. She gave me her number and we just started to chat everyday (To be honest I had a small crush on her in the beginning but I never said anything because I didn't really understand what I was feeling at the time, with time she became more of a sister). With that action I started trusting someone for the first time. We kept playing with her friends group, we watched movies together, hell we were even planning a trip together (her boyfriend was manipulative and she left him and I wanted to help her) and for the first time I genuinely felt happy and loved by someone, but I was a frick up: I've never been in a group before, I kept getting mad for small stuff all the time, I insulted them, I just wasn't a really good friend, but despite all, she was there, teaching me calmly what I did wrong everytime and giving me advice on how to be better.
This, sadly, went on until recently: I do some dumb stuff, she tries to help me, rinse and repeat, I just keep doing them even though I tell myself to stop, but yet, she was still there and I kept trying my best to improve as a person. Now I get to the why I posted all of this: last month A said that she isn't feeling well and wouldn't use the phone or her gaming PC a lot and at first I tought nothing of it but I kept seeing her online so I wanted to confront her to understand, but I went cocky with my ego and accused her of lying to me (this wasn't the first time I said something along these lines) and she got very mad and after that, jusg complete silence. It's been almost a month and even after I said I was sorry and still tried to interact with her with tiktoks, instagram reels, etc she still hasn't talked to me since
I feel she finally got tired of me and that the last straw and she doesn't want to hear anything from me anymore. I wouldn't blame her, but at the same time I don't want to lose her. I don't know what to do. I'm confused. She was my sister, even if not by blood. I'm scared. I don't want to feel alone again.
I tried my best to be better and I failed. Even though I maybe deserve this, I don't want to feel the pain of loneliness again.
A, I'm sorry, for everything I did
TL;DR: I was alone, found a friend, screwed up, I'm alone again
Longjumping-Canary22: Sometimes you just live and learn. Walk into new friendships with what you know now.
fede123456789: Can't make any. That's the reason she was the only one
Longjumping-Canary22: Maybe focus a bit on yourself. What work can you do mentally or physically to help you grow into who you want to be? Do those things for now.
fede123456789: Best I can do is getting platinum trophies on playstation. It gives me a purpose
| 5 | 3.2 | |
1662687612 | 1662727574 | t3_x9i7ce | t5_2to41 | 148 | Es_throwaway_junk: TIFU after taking a dump during school hours.
I (17M) was in my TA class. The teacher was smack in the middle of a lecture when I realized I desperately had to poop. I said to myself that I’d wait it out until the teacher had finished, as it was a critical moment I didn’t want to interrupt. Suddenly, I felt it. THE feeling. I nearly shit my pants and stood up, looked at the teacher and said “bathroom” and left. In my blind panic to reach the bathrooms, I realized I couldn’t make it to the CTE bathroom in time. For context, the CTE bathroom has one stall, I use it so I can be alone when I have to dump. I went to the closest bathroom and in my blind panic I went into the women’s restroom. I slammed myself into a stall before realizing there was a girl. standing right outside. the stalls. I clenched my cheeks as tight as I possibly could to keep the leakage inside to let her leave but I couldn’t hold it. I kid you not, I let it rip. The sound that my butthole emitted was grotesque to say the least. I had the biggest poopsplosion that left fecal matter on the walls and coating the toilet. The girl outside my stall starts laughing and I panic. “SHIT. I WAS TRYING TO HOLD IT IN.” THANK GOD I’ve always had an androgynous voice and she couldn’t really tell if my voice was feminine or not. I held a conversation with her about being unable to make it to the CTE bathroom, describing my shits in graphic detail, and waiting. She was skipping class therefore she was not leaving. At one point she asked me “are you at least feeling better?” and I responded with another massive shit sound. She left after fifteen minutes of sitting there violently shitting my guts out. I ran back to class and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.
TLDR: I took a horrendous shit in the woman’s restroom while a girl was right outside of my stall.
comewshmybck: In high school, before football games, a buddy and I used to shit in the girls bathroom. Out the 4 years I played, we must've done this dozens of times. One time some band girls came in and took the most grotesque shits. They had no idea we were dudes.
Edited for spelling, grammar, and phrasing. I'm dumb.
TurtleSage88: Hey I used to have the same ritual with my buddies! Crazy!
comewshmybck: It all started because we realized how much cleaner the girls bathroom was, and once it became a habit we got all superstitious about stopping.
TurtleSage88: Same here! Good times! That was over 15 years ago for me.
| 5 | 29.6 | |
1662690044 | 1662690533 | t3_x9j379 | t5_2to41 | 11 | TVFacialThrowaway: Tifu ; Accidently cummed on my friends tv
[removed]
Coccolona: At 12? I was still playing with barbies at 12
TVFacialThrowaway: I lost my innocence young , found porn at 11
Coccolona: That's sad, actually.
Btw...just noticed your throwaway account name is TV Facial....hahaha keep this account
TVFacialThrowaway: Yeah definitely it ruined my life ever since a young age, probably tmi but am trying to stop. Haha yes I thought it was suiting.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1662690868 | 1662757405 | t3_x9jdxz | t5_2to41 | 71 | throwaway736385828: TIFU by having sex on the couch
This just happened 45 minutes ago…
Wife (31) and I (31) were watching the Buffalo Bills game and things started getting hot and heavy during halftime.
It’s clear that sex is about to happen and she asks if I want to go upstairs. I weasel my way into couch sex so that I don’t miss the start of the third quarter. She obliges.
So I’m sitting on our couch naked from the waist down and she is riding me top. It was a solid performance all around. Things are hot and intense, and I’m lasting for a good amount of time. We both finish and I get up to get a paper towel, and I see my wife inspecting the couch. She then bursts out laughing and says, “Don’t freak out.”
Yup, there was so much grinding that I left a huge skid mark shit stain all over the couch cushion. I hang my head in shame and knock it out with some Resolve.
Needless to say, I won’t be living this one down for a while. Or trying any halftime couch sex again anytime soon.
TLDR: Had sex on the couch; left skid marks.
Fair_Swimming7299: Have you considered a bidet?
Wynotboth: Having bought a bidet I am a now staunch supporter of them. It’s amazing to me they are simply not a thing here. Bidets are awesome! Get one, people! It will change your life and you won’t regret it!!
almondeye3: Best $20 ever spent.
| 4 | 17.75 | |
1662691286 | 1662741900 | t3_x9jjb9 | t5_2to41 | 291 | Consistent_Canary_40: TIFU by ruining my first kiss
So today I (14 M) went about my normal day. Get up, get dressed etc. etc. and go to school. Everything is good so far I got to school, talked to my friends and my gf (13 f (14 next month) and have I end up having good day overall. She just started riding the bus last week and I’ve been riding it all of my schooling from 2nd grade to now (9th grade) so I finally though that since we’ve been dating about 4-5 months now and that I’ve been wanting to wait for HS to have my first kiss why not now? This was the best opportunity I’ve had ever, we were alone with basically nobody in the surrounding seats, and just us talking and having fun being with each other. So after being super nervous and thinking about it, it was my stop and I said bye and realized I missed ever other chance I had so I went for it. The moment I had been waiting for since I’ve thought about wanting to have a real relationship. And I either f’d it up or she was avoiding it, So I went in for it and she turned her head. So after a millisecond of realization I made it into a hug (which we never do) and said bye. I am 1000% sure that she knew what I was doing too so I have now been re thinking what I’m going to do. We basically haven’t talked since and I have a feeling that this could have messed some thing up for us, we have sent a couple pictures back and forth. I’m not sure what to do. Again I’m not sure if this messed anything up for us or if I should bring it up and talk about it. What should I do now? (This is my first post ever so if it belongs in this subreddit or not would help)
TL;DR I tried getting my first kiss and got rejected now I’m not sure how my relationship stands in between me and my gf
It’s been a couple days but we have talked and she didn’t know that I was wanting to kiss her. I found this out without telling her that’s what I was going to do. Anyways we had been talking and we sorta talked about the subject (kissing) i was going to ask her if she was comfortable with us doing that but she fell asleep and I ended up texting her asking (I feel like I should have asked her in person lmk if I should have( I’m new to this) so this is where I’m at now. I will update when she answers and let’s me know tm.
TL;DR 2/full tldr I tried getting my first kiss and got rejected now I’m not sure how my relationship stands in between me and my gf. After a few days I found out she didn’t know that’s what I was going to do without telling her that’s what I was going to do. And I was going to ask her today but she fell asleep while we were talking about kissing in general, and I texted her asking if she was comfortable with it.
Stock_Charming: Son, you're a very young man. I get it the first kiss from any girl is a defining moment in a young man's life.
However, don't beat yourself up about the situation. You showed courage and went for it. I am confident "your boys," don't have the balls to shot their shot.
And, listen. If it doesn't happen with her, she isn't the right one to share the experience with.
God Luck Young Buck!
Consistent_Canary_40: Thanks man. I will try again bc she’s the nicest girl I’ve know and want to make this last as long as possible. This helps a lot and goes a long ways for me.
Stock_Charming: You got this brother! Make it special, plan it. Or if it happens naturally even better. You'll know.
Consistent_Canary_40: Thank you for the idea. But I don’t know of a way to plan it as my parents are strict on me dating. My mom thinks that after/during college is early for dating and should only be when I’m looking for marriage.
Ihavepills: It's perfectly normal for kids aged 14 to date and kiss. I understand your mums concerns but I think waiting til college is a bit steep. Sometimes parents are treading on thin ice when being too strict about these things, because it can lead to kiss doing stuff behind their backs. Although it sounds like you and your gf have respect for your parents wishes, which is admirable at your age and given the circumstances, unless it's more the case of you being scared. Are your families religious by any chance? I wouldn't worry too much about this. You'll need to talk to her and the sooner the better. As someone else said, maybe it was just the fact that you were on a bus with other people around? In any case, I'm sure things will turn out ok. All the best. And keep us updated!
Consistent_Canary_40: Will do and my parents are religious, that’s why she’s strict with me. My dad isn’t but I respect my mom more than my father tbh
Ihavepills: Ah that makes sense then. You're a good kid.
Consistent_Canary_40: Thank you for that I think otherwise sometimes
| 9 | 32.333333 | |
1662692481 | 1662694373 | t3_x9jye0 | t5_2to41 | 13 | fwilkin: Tifu by telling my co-workers I wanted a creampie
[removed]
some-white-dude: So did you get either?
fwilkin: I'll let you know in a couple weeks but I suspect not 😂
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1662695776 | 1662753730 | t3_x9l3l7 | t5_2to41 | 1,232 | SarcasticLotus: tifu by trying to be too honest
tried to be honest and feel like shit about it
I (25m) was faced with a difficult decision today. I have a new gf (32f) and things have been going great, we really hit things off. The problem kinda results from that. Our relationship progressed slightly to some more intimate stuff. And I couldn't help but realize there may be a either hygiene or medical issue. I ignored it for the moment not wanting to ruin things. Honestly afraid she'd get offended and end everything right there. So I waited till later to bring it up. I tried to go about it delicately and just said that I was worried that she may have a yeast infection and that she might want to look into it. Imo it needed addressed if I'm expected to be spending time down there, and while she said she appreciated my honesty and everything was good she hasn't responded to a call or text in a few hours. Usually we talk every night before bed. So. I think today I fucked up by trying to he honest but probably shouldn't have said anything.
TL:DR
There's a smell. I addressed it. Probably bad move
Edit: despite all the positivity in the comments, when we finally talked she did see it as a major FU. Our relationship is taking a step back if it's going to continue at all. She did go to the doctor who did say everything was fine. I honestly don't see how. Being kinda upset at this point I'm willing to admit that it was a strong like just opened pack of salmon smell. I already made alot of compromises to physical attraction with this relationship due to the emotional connection. So now with this issue being a permanent one I may have to reevaluate the whole thing. Thank you all for your help and support.
Icy_Engine_7648: Probably the best move you made. If my dude ever told me that I'd immediately be seen by a doctor. Hopefully that's where she's at, and why she hasn't gotten back to you yet
SarcasticLotus: Thank you. Honestly I thought I was going to immediately be slammed. I'm not great about sensitivity. But I really really tried and am totally terrified that I offended her.
dickbutt_md: Honestly, you should've called off downstairs activity. It's possible to transfer her yeast infection to your mouth and throat (thrush). Then you two end up passing it back and forth. If you detect a problem, instead of diving in you should tactfully let her know that she may be growing a slime mold in her gash and you'll need to reschedule the festivities to some time after she's able to get her basement mucked out.
[deleted]: i love your wording 💀
Persephone1230: I too was touched by the romance.
toefurkyfuckmittens: Well, u/Dickbutt_md is apparently known for his candor but not his bedside manner, so his diagnoses tend to be less than tactful
Persephone1230: I have thought this over carefully for about 5 seconds, and have decided that I must ask what a fuckmitten is. Also why, in the case of toes, it would not be a fucksock.
toefurkyfuckmittens: Hahahah. It's an old weird inside joke and a really long story. I'm not sure 'fucksock' has the right ring to it
Persephone1230: 🤣😂 Point taken. I think that has an entirely different meaning.
| 10 | 123.2 | |
1662691578 | 1662742374 | t3_x9jmyd | t5_2to41 | 122 | AlannahGrimm: TIFU MIA dress
TIFU when I left my dress at a hotel in Ohio. I managed to get all of my luggage down to my car in one go except for my garment bag (which I didn't realize at the time). I literally thought to myself when I left the room, "I should check the room over one more time.... Nah, I am pretty sure I got everything." And left the room and fully checked out. It wasn't until 10 hours later when I was at home that I realized that I could not find the garment bag and the dress that went in it.
I called the hotel but they did not find it (I'm not sure if someone took it or what but I've lost hope that I will get it back.) They were not able to find it in the lost-and-found nor the managers' office (where they tend to hold valuables). I'm so sad that one f*** up resulted in me losing a dress I really loved, but I guess thems the breaks. 😔
Edit: Clarity
TL;DR Always, ALWAYS, check your hotel room again before you checkout.
solstice_gilder: What happens in Ohio, apparently stays.
I once lost a jacket that wasn’t sold anymore. I sleuthed through Vinted! Found the same jacket, but new! So if you are really attached to the dress maybe check that out. Www.vinted.com
AlannahGrimm: I will check that out, thanks!
AlannahGrimm: I looked through the site and managed to find a dress that is reasonably close to what I had! I never would have found it without your recommendation - thank you!
| 4 | 30.5 | |
1662698246 | 1662749993 | t3_x9lxko | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting caught watching kinky porn at my college.
[deleted]
Kaladorph: I wouldn't really call that kinky..
Flossthief: I think two guys fucking their own sisters qualifies as kinky
Kaladorph: I mean.. it's crazy popular and not my thing but it's still just plain old vanilla fuckin. How is that kinky?
Flossthief: It's something that isn't inherently sexual that makes arouses people with said kink
Fucking your sister isn't vanilla (neither is roleplaying fucking your sister)
It's one of the most commonly searched porn tags but it's still a kink
Kaladorph: eh, boring af though.
| 6 | 4.333333 | |
1662700277 | 1662752266 | t3_x9mkxy | t5_2to41 | 10,257 | misminimus: TIFU by accidentally almost getting a happy ending
So this wasn't today, it was way back in 2015, when I dressed a bit more tomboyish. I had just done my taxes at the nearby tax chain and my refund came out to $49, the exact amount those effers charged me in the first place. So I'm stressed about this bs, and decided to get a massage. I looked up "massage" on my phone and huzzah! There's a massage place maybe a block away!
Some very important info about me, I am directionally challenged, and frequently get lost even on routes I'm familiar with. I set out to find this place, which shouldn't take me more than 5 minutes to walk to. And I can't find it. The tax chain was on a main street and the massage place was off of the main street, seemingly on a little alleyway off of a side street. I literally followed Google maps and where the pin was, there was nothing but bushes. After waiting and walking and more looking cuz I'm an idiot, I looked behind the bushes.
And voila! Of course it's there, behind the bushes. I will not be telling you how long I looked for this place.. anywho, I walk up to the door and all the signage is in those cheap individual letters you get from the hardware store that you use for yard sales. Ok whatever, the massage is cheap, I'm sure it's fine.... I go in and the lady does a double take, then looks at me kinda funny. She doesn't speak great English, but she says "massage? 60 minute?" And I say "yes" and she ushers me back to a room.
She seems somewhat flustered about something, but I'm an anxious person and am perpetually flustered so I don't hold it against her. Then she gives me the rundown, under the blanket, face down, and then she pauses, looks me up and down.. and asks the question I will never forget: "You have pee pee?"
Suddenly understanding everything, I stammer "uh no no, I'm just here for a massage!" If it wasn't clear before, I am a woman, and do not and have never had a pee pee. Stunned, and wondering if I should just run away out of embarrassment, the lady takes that opportunity to leave the room. So I get undressed and get under the covers, face down.. and try to relax. Readers, let me tell you, I did not relax that day.
She does the massage, a regular platonic massage, and leaves so I can get dressed, I do and go back out to the lobby, unsure of what I'll find. Well, it's her and an older woman, maybe her mother? This older lady (was not old, just older than the lady who gave me a massage) was extremely amused by my presence, kept asking if I wanted tea, but all I wanted to do was pay and GTFO there. I paid and left as soon as I could, all while the massage lady had retreated to a back room and the older lady was chuckling as she took my payment. I practically ran out of there and called my husband and told him what happened, he couldn't stop laughing and I begged him to pick me up ASAP.
Tl;dr accidentally purchased the services of a happy ending massage parlor, but was unfortunately ill equipped to partake fully.
throw_away_58582057: This probably made those ladies day they probably tell this story all the time now. Your probably their favorite client
ProzacforLapis2016: It's more than likely a sex trafficking hub.
https://collectiveliberty.org/blog/massage-parlor-trafficking-facts-and-statistics/
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/02/us/massage-parlors-human-trafficking.html
https://www.fortheone.one/massage-parlor-trafficking
https://polarisproject.org/blog/2018/06/human-trafficking-in-massage-parlors-a-deeply-manipulated-sense-of-choice/
They probably are taught not to let other women know it's a sex trafficking location, because they may be more likely to report. If I was trafficked, I'd like the client I wasn't forced into sexual situations with the best as well.
Da_Chi: Dang, way to kill our good vibes Friday by getting way too serious with all our funny comments
ProzacforLapis2016: I'd love to joke, and I understand people are just trying to have fun and be funny, but I keep seeing posts like this where people don't understand what those places are. It's okay if people understand where trafficking happens so they don't accidentally support or participate in it. Human trafficking happens, and it's okay to provide sources on how to recognize it and be informed. I'm sorry if I upset you. A few laughs aren't really my priority when it comes to people who are trafficked, though. I hope regardless you can have an awesome Friday.
Edit: You originally commented on how women deserve happy endings as well. Thank you for advocating for women's pleasure too. I know I was a tad harsh in response to that one and you didn't mean to advocate for trafficking, and I added that in an edit.
Da_Chi: Nah, no worries. I didn't take it as you being harsh and this reply now seems much more human as before it just sounds like a bot cutting and pasting trying to shove an agenda down our throats all at once (no pun intended, well not this time).
Seemed like getting my door knocked constantly by someone trying to sell me something or sign their list of whatever they were peddling that day.
Glad you are advocating and trying to shed some light on the human trafficking front. Like I will continue to speak up myself for Women's equality as much as I can!
I will now remove all my down votes for you as I can see you are genuinely not a bot and are passionate about the issue!
ProzacforLapis2016: I'm sorry, I can totally get how you'd mistake me for a bot or a spammer. And ditto, no downvotes for you. I get your perspective. Thanks for being empathetic. Btw, are you over on r/menslib? I'm a lurker there since I don't want the guys to feel like I'm invading their space, but I really love the content I see. It's really informative.
Da_Chi: I'm not on there yet, I'll check it out! Hopefully you get some of your down votes back once people see you weren't just a spammer!
ProzacforLapis2016: I'm sure you'll love it. I'll try not to post the same thing repeatedly next time. The last time I tried to inform people on this sub about this whole thing, it got buried, thus why I posted it in multiple places, but I get that can be annoying. Hopefully it helps someone, though.
Da_Chi: Yea, that's the literal definition of spamming. Usually by a bot or a newly created account just to piss people off.
I hear ya tho, some of my best replies have been buried away but knowing that my dad jokes are funny to me is all that matters!
ProzacforLapis2016: I more thought the individual people I was responding to may benefit from the info, but regardless, scrolling gets clunky with lots of links. Dad jokes are pretty fun. Thanks for understanding.
Da_Chi: BTW, I hope your stone or pencil feels better!
ProzacforLapis2016: Wait what haha
Da_Chi: Cuz it's taking Prozac.
Lapis can be a type of stone or misspelling for pencil too in spanish/latin ;)~
Told ya, my best dad jokes are always buried on the longest thread ;)
ProzacforLapis2016: You've succeeded in making me laugh lol. I'll let my pencil and/or stone know your well wishes.
Da_Chi: Lol, that's awesome to hear! Makes my Friday even better!
ProzacforLapis2016: 
| 17 | 603.352941 | |
1662700919 | 1662703598 | t3_x9ms4u | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by having anal after not getting any action for a few weeks.
[removed]
wesleynl18: Was it worth it?
You4icc: 10/10 would tear my ass again
notanaccounttofollow: Then you did not fuck up fully.
| 4 | 3 | |
1662712099 | 1662854603 | t3_x9mg3a | t5_2to41 | -12 | solstice_gilder: Dude they explained it. No need to be an ass about it. It’s not their job to educate you.
TyphoidMary234: Not when I asked though and only when he started getting down voted but I’m the arse
solstice_gilder: 'What’s the e though?'
'It's a colloquial term Non-binary people use I will not reply further.'
​
That was it. The e doesn't stand for anything in the word enby, it's just a way to type out the acronym for n-b, which stand for non-binary. Which they said. :-)
freedgorgans: It's ok people don't get the genderqueer stuff. They simply see me as a sideshow attraction. Ty for being a reasonable human person.
TyphoidMary234: You’re a sideshow because of your attitude
freedgorgans: You're a bigot I genuinely wish you the worst in life.
Ihavepills: Shit, well aren't you a little ray of sunshine...
freedgorgans: You don't see the deleted parts where this person uses my want to not have to talk about my identity when it isn't relevant. As a reason to dismiss all non binary people. Or the 30 comments daying non-binary people don't exist or can't be gay.
I don't have to be nice to people who never planned to be nice to me. I will not be sunshine and rainbows to people who push me to talk about my identity in irrelevant situations. So, no in this situation I will never be a ray of sunshine. If you agree with their stances I wish you the same.
Ihavepills: No, I didn't see anyone forcing you to talk about it. I did see people asking what the term 'enby' means though, and I can't see the problem with that, I also didn't know until a few minutes ago. I also don't understand how that is dismissing all none-binary people, but again, perhaps I missed something there? You say it's irrelevant and that people are 'pushing you' to talk about it, so why mention it in your post?
Again, perhaps there was something I've missed, but all I've seen is people asking genuine questions because they want to learn so that they don't offend people, and I think you're being quite mean, it's almost like you mentioned it just so you could find comments and then take offence to it. No one here deserves to have "the worse in life" wished upon them.
KittikatB: You didn't miss anything. OP seems to have a chip on their shoulder the size of a giant redwood about being asked to explain something they mentioned in their post.
| 10 | -1.2 | |
1662681603 | 1662713146 | t3_x9fyox | t5_2to41 | 1 | Proper-Bandicoot2790: TIFU today i fucked up by smelling my own sweat
[removed]
Majestic-Scale-1868: So....how is this TIFU again? Ashamed of your own fetish?
Proper-Bandicoot2790: No having a fetish like that is wrong
Majestic-Scale-1868: Lol there are way worse fetishes, this is at least harmless.
| 4 | 0.25 | |
1662711210 | 1662782824 | t3_x9polu | t5_2to41 | 441 | Hennerz204: TIFU by inviting my best friend for dinner
I (23M) have been good friends with N (28F) for 4 years now. We met at my old place of work and became fast friends.
Around 2 years ago I was made redundant from said work place but we stayed in contact and have been messaging each other a couple times a week, sending TikToks etc.
After leaving my place of employment, I stupidly asked her out (which she rejected) but we still remained close friends.
I hadn't seen her since leaving my old place due to COVID and thought I'd ask her of she wanted to go out for a meal and to catch up.
Ever since I've asked her however, she's been ghosting me.
I think she thinks I've asked her out on a date again and doesn't know how to react.
TL;DR my best friends thought I was asking her out and now won't talk to me
pogiguy2020: NO today you found out that she really was not your friend so please move on and act like she does not exist. You can get better friends.
hallelujajaja: She probably also thought she had a friend who didn't see her as such
pogiguy2020: Yeh really hard to know, but he could have been putting off some serious vibes of wanting something more. She is not interested and so she does not want to move forward. However, I would rather someone be honest and just tell me. I can respect that and move on.
hallelujajaja: That's true, it costs nothing to tell the person and it gives both peace of mind
pogiguy2020: I once met a woman and within 5 minutes she asked me if she could be frank with me. I said yes and she proceeds to tell me how when she walked into the room she did not feel any sparks and that she doubts it would work out.
I thanked her and we finished, and I took her home. Yet honest and I respect that.
hallelujajaja: Tbh there were times when I thought if I rejected someone I'd get a world of insults, a few times I was pleasantly surprised with a "I understand, thanks for telling me"
ratchel917: i mean shit, you're not crazy for expecting it. how many women die every day for rejecting men
hallelujajaja: Exactly and apart from these few times I did get unnecessary insults for not reciprocating someone's feelings beyond friendship :/ they think being friends is "leading on"
| 9 | 49 | |
1662712697 | 1662765310 | t3_x9q2kb | t5_2to41 | 16,831 | Cannabis4Cannibals: TIFU telling my mom I'm not a virgin and pranking her in public
This morning my mom dragged me (16m) to the nearest clinic to get an STD test. My first fuck up was getting into an argument with her the night before about boundaries and letting her push my buttons to the point of getting me to reveal that I'm no longer a virgin. I lied. I'm still a virgin, but my mom got me so upset when she threatened to somehow stop me from seeing my "slutty" gf, I wanted to say something that would show her I'm not as innocent as she would like to believe.
My mom lost her shit when I said that and promised to get me tested for STDs first thing in the morning. Fucking overreaction of the year and completely in character for my mother. Challenge accepted, I thought. If my mom was gonna embarrass me, I was gonna embarrass her. When she was asleep, I got my hands on her phone and changed a few settings in secret. Part of me expected my mom would call off the STD test, but nope, there we were, sitting in a busy waiting room based on a lie. The proud expression on my mom's face disappeared when she realized her phone alarm was going off in her bag and it was playing this song:
[Risky click without headphones.](https://youtu.be/Wc5IbN4xw70)
I thought it was an appropriately inappropriate song choice considering the situation. Everyone in the waiting room looked at my mom as she fumbled with her phone and struggled to deactivate the alarm, which I named "MY SON F**KS" btw. A little on the nose, but I wanted her to know it was me. My mom managed to turn off the alarm and make me delete that song from her phone. If we weren't in public, she probably would've choke slammed me on the ground and beaten me to death with the condom dispenser.
I got tested for STDs and I'll know my results in a few days. I'm no doctor, but something tells me all the years I've spent masturbating didn't give me chlamydia. If this is the last you see of me, assume my mom confiscated my phone/laptop for the rest of the day or decade or whatever. It's part of my punishment for what happened in the clinic and other unresolved family shit. I'm practically living in a fucking prison now, but you know what, it was worth it.
**Tl;dr I secretly set my mom's phone alarm to play a sexually explicit song in a busy clinic while my mom waited with me to get tested for STDs that I most likely don't have because I lied about being sexually active to make my mom upset. It's safe to say my mom will not be going to that clinic ever again after everyone heard her phone alarm. As for me, my mom's punishing me for what I did with evil glances and very limited access to all my mobile devices, which is a pain in my ass, but I knew the consequences and now I'm paying for it.**
ItIsThrownFarAway: Tldr: Turns out I had crabs anyway.
Blueroflmao: Over the course of a month i got scabies and a fungal infection
Needless to say, virgin me was very confused and frightened
Klutzy_Journalist_36: Wait.
You got dick scabies and dick fungus simultaneously?
How? And you should never play the lotto.
Blueroflmao: Wasnt dick scabies, but norwegian scabies. Somehow even worse, and over your entire body.
The fungus, admittedly, stemmed from a poor period of time when i was living alone, didnt have a functioning shower and only had access to a shared washing machine. Used boxers for three days before i felt grabbing a clean one was justified.
The scabies... Sometime around new years, i spent the holiday with my family. Me and a friend were going drinking, so we decided he could spend the night. This was a very good friend, so we had slept in the same bed countless times for sleepovers. This time was no different, except he had neglected to tell me he had gotten scabies from someone we both knew.
This led to me, and subsequently our whole family getting scabies.
I can safely say, thay year was the worst year of my life. No sleep, constant itching and stinging, several attempts at treating the scabies, and there was no way i could keep up with lectures and work in that state.
Rosselman: Uhhh, Norwegian scabies is terrible, and usually happen to immunocompromised people. Did you get further studies for that?
Blueroflmao: I suffer from ichtyosis, and it also happens from prolonged close contact with someone who suffers from it, or sharing bed/furniture/clothes.
Its common for entire hospitals, hotels and facilities to be put out of business for extended periods of time while they raid all the furniture and beds and sheets and put every worker and person housed there through the treatment.
Should be mentioned that said treatment often fails because norwegian scabies have recently become almost immune to the cream.
Rosselman: Also, Ichthyosis vulgaris is hereditary, not transmissible
Blueroflmao: Of course im aware of that, my point is it complicated the scabies because the skin is worse to treat and the scanies were more protected from treatment
Rosselman: Ahh, that's what I thought you meant, but wasn't sure and yeah, that's very true. Must be hard, there's still so much social stigma. People still think that skins conditions are due to lack of hygiene.
Blueroflmao: Scabies too comes with that stigma. Of course doctors get suspicious when a guy in his 20s comes in with ichtyosis, a fungal infection AND scabies
Rosselman: Well... Yeah. It does sound rather... immunocompromised.
waluBub: immunocompromised with a skin condition gang checking in
| 13 | 1,294.692308 | |
1662718520 | 1662722179 | t3_x9rowu | t5_2to41 | 33 | MidniteMad: TIFU looking like an assaulter
[removed]
EmergencyLavishness1: How did the other guy know your name and profession? That’s the weirdest part about all this
MidniteMad: Honestly, I have no idea. I also thought that was weird.
| 3 | 11 | |
1662719583 | 1662866279 | t3_x9s01s | t5_2to41 | 50 | unsure_user-1357: Tifu by turning off autolock
It all started when i was binge watching rick n morty, i was halfway season two before i got bored so i went on reddit (where the trouble began). While browsing through my feed, i saw several, lets say exotic, videos and photos which led me to go to some very particular subreddits to see more exotic photos and videos. As you can guess this isnt a great storm of mistakes. Decided to let off some stream in my room so i turned off my computer, and did my business. After i finish and and started to get changed, i heardmy sister leave her room to go open the front door. Not soon after my uncle came knocking and since i have dressed i opened to a picture of some legs being spread, instantly embarrassment hit, and i grabbed and threw the phone on the bed closed the door and let the embarrassment wash over, then i went to my phone and turned on the fucking autolock.
NEVER AGAIN
TL:DR I disabled autolock on my phone and my uncle found nudes on it
someguyontheweb15: Why tf is your family even going through your phone in the first place.
KatiePotatie1986: It doesn't sound like they were. It sounds like he opened his phone and the uncle saw it. But admittedly, it is unclear
unsure_user-1357: basically i left it on the couch wide open and my uncle found it :/
Queasy_Strategy_2405: I'm sure your uncle was proud
| 5 | 10 | |
1662718884 | 1662747796 | t3_x9rsoe | t5_2to41 | 22 | SamV10S: TIFU by dancing in the spa stoned and getting caught by dad's boss
So I (18m) live with my dad's boss (I needed board and they had it), and they have a spa. this particular day I decided to get high before the spa. Well one thing lead to another and I was extremely high in the spa with earphones listening to music, and at some point decided to start dancing... and didn't stop dancing.. for a long time. Anyway I finished my 40 minute long dance and decided to head back inside, I enter and they present to me they have a video of me dancing and ask if I've learnt any new moves! Shit. I try take it light heartedly and laugh but inside I have died (still quite stoned).
Anyway I head to my room and hide in shame for about 10 minutes, and when I came back out to make some toast, I tell them it's hilarious and they should share it to everyone (bad idea), they awkwardly laugh and ask if I'm on the "wacky backy again" followed by another awkward laugh, oof. I try act confused but at this point I' have literally died inside, awkward convo ensues afterwards as I wait for my toast and escape as soon as I could.
TL ;DR danced in the spa while stoned, caught by dad's boss who I board with, telling me they took a video of me and later asking if I'm on the "wackybacky" again.
Foxienerd: What is wacky backy exactly?
Sammiesagirl: >wacky tabacky, reefer, pot, marijuana
Foxienerd: Oh ok. Thank you!
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1662721194 | 1662724436 | t3_x9sgkd | t5_2to41 | 198 | RandomAhole2: TIFU by slapping my girlfriend.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
So my girlfriend (17f) broke up with me (18m) almost a week ago. She named various reasons, but none of them felt 'real' to me. I was absolutely heartbroken and desperately wanted to make amends. I talked out some strategies with my therapist and texted her again yesterday. This time, she told me the real reason.
Our relationship has always been quite sexual, and we tried out some more 'exotic' things together. She was definitely on the submissive side, and sometimes I talked over text about slapping her, and she always seemed enthusiastic about it. So, about a month ago now, when we were playing around a bit on my bed (fully clothed, iirc), I gave her a (from my perspective) light slap on the cheek. I didn't really think too much of it, since we had done stuff like choking and spanking before, and she always seemed good with it. However, she immediately told me to stop. However, her awkward grin led me to believe she was mostly just playing around, and I asked her "stop that?" while slapping her a second time. This was supposed to be just for fun and I wanted to slap her so lightly she wouldn't even feel pain, but according to her, it was even harder than the first one. I feel like the biggest asshole in the world typing this. I did feel sorry for her immediately aft and hugged her, and later I said I would be nicer from now on, but I never really apologized properly. I was too proud to fully admit my mistake, and too ashamed to bring it up again. I feel terrible about it, the emotional pain even more than the physical pain I caused her.
She even gave me another chance to apologize, but due to the way she presented it, I, again, took it more as a joke and apologized half-heartedly. I talked about it with my therapist and I have absolutely recognized my mistake, but she says it's too late now. And I can't blame her. I know she has a hard time trusting people, but I managed to make her trust me, she felt safe around me, and I completely broke that trust. Even more awful is that I didn't take the situation seriously sooner, since I did have an underlying feeling she was still bothered by it. Again, I was too prideful and ashamed at the same time. I deserve everything she did. And that's the worst part. I alone ruined the relationship of my dreams, and she has every right to dump me. She deserves something better. Maybe she could've communicated it better, but in the end, I'm the one to blame. I know there have been other situations where I wasn't grateful enough for her unflinching support and general awesomeness. She was there for me when nobody else was, and I ruined it. And when I finally realized my mistake, I ruined itagain by begging and focusing more on my needs, not hers.
You know who you are, and if you're reading this, I am deeply and truly sorry. More than I can put into words, especially in english. I have changed now and realize the many errors I made. I know this won't change what happened between us, but I beg of you some manner of forgiveness, if nothing else. I don't know how else I can go on and live with myself.
\-A
TL;DR
I slapped my girlfriend because I thought it was okay since we talked about it before, repeated it, then didn't apologize seriously and got dumped. I'm a horrible person, and I deserve it.
Devittraisedto2: Just know, when she said stop, you should've stopped.
You really could've just clarified it instead of proceeding under the assumption that she was still in the mood.
RandomAhole2: I know that now, and knowing that kills me. I truly realized it, but it seems it was too late.
Devittraisedto2: It's a lesson to be learned, don't beat yourself up too much over it.
Its better you learned something than never learned at all. Shit like this happens buddy, just gotta know what the boundaries between you and your partner in the future will be.
RandomAhole2: Easier said than done, especially when she's the first really positive thing to happen to me in years. And I know that I alone ruined it over petty shit like this, even when she gave me more chances than I deserved. Thank you for the encouragement either way, I truly feel like I've changed now.
Heurodis: Hey, you're 18; "the first positive thing in years" is not that dramatic if you consider you've been conscious for less than two decades. I know it feels like a lot because this is all you've known, but you've got a long, long time before you to see new positive things come. Don't worry so much; at least you learned something, and next time you won't (hopefully) overstep your partner's boundaries.
Just a piece of advice: be careful with kinks. Make sure you know when to stop; and don't feel forced to "have kinks." Vanilla sex is no shame, and if being kinky means you are tempted to get abusive, it might just be better to just steer clear from that, rather than ruin other relationships.
LiaraTsoni1: I agree with this. Puberty is a rough time in your life, and you're barely out of it. I only started coming into my own at 18 and grew a lot after that. More good things will come.
Heurodis: (this has nothing to do with the discussion but getting a notification with your username just made my day)
LiaraTsoni1: Awesome! Liara and Garrus are my dream team.
Heurodis: The exact same (though I also often went with Wrex+Garrus in ME1 as well), and that until the very end.
| 10 | 19.8 | |
1662724162 | 1662724605 | t3_x9tea3 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by meatriding drake
[deleted]
Anotherdude342: Who's drake?
LightningCuber: no way you do not know who drake is
OK_LK: Yes, way
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1662724156 | 1662761603 | t3_x9te83 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: Tifu by giving a 14 year old a tattoo
[deleted]
jeffinRTP: What's the legal age for getting a tattoo in your area?
_antisocialmoth: 16 with parental consent
No_Love_1353: So where was the parent? I only see friends mentioned.
_antisocialmoth: Obviously her parents didn’t know about it but I was under the assumption she was 15 going on 16. She doesn’t look 14 and is bigger than I am. Also she hangs out with this girl I know who is 16 so I thought she was older
No_Love_1353: So you didn’t have confirmation from the parent at all? No written note, no presence, no nothing. I hate to say this, but you willingly committed a crime.
_antisocialmoth: I didn’t even know it was a crime I just wanted to help her. She said she was planning to do it to herself but she didn’t know how to even do it properly. I regret it and if I could take it back I would’ve.
No_Love_1353: How the fuck do you get into tattooing without knowing the age laws!?
_antisocialmoth: Obviously I wasn’t thinking straight. Like I said I just wanted to help her before she did it herself and caused more harm. The stick n poke kit I bought online and have used on myself.
No_Love_1353: Wasn’t thinking straight? So were you intoxicated while you tattooed the child?
_antisocialmoth: No of course not I’ve just turned 17. I don’t drink or smoke. I thought I was helping her by covering up her sh scars.
No_Love_1353: Let’s be honest, it wouldn’t be the first thing you’ve done just because it’s popular…
_antisocialmoth: I’m being honest. I don’t smoke and I don’t drink. My younger friends do it but I hate the stuff I’ve seen what it does to people and I am not interested in it. The stick n poke stuff was to only cover up my own scars. That’s the only reason I did hers aswell. If I knew she was 14 I wouldn’t of done it full stop. I genuinely thought she was 15 going on 16 because she hangs around with my nearly 17 year old “friend”.
No_Love_1353: Ok, can you promise me from now on that you’ll only state “you weren’t in your right mind” when you weren’t? Just because you made a mistake in judgement doesn’t mean you weren’t in your right mind. Legally speaking here, that’s a defense(somewhat) for either intoxicated, or those with mental conditions.
_antisocialmoth: Yeah. If I were a believer I’d put my hand on the book and swear on it but I can’t. I don’t wanna do this shit ever again and I don’t plan on bringing it up to anyone.
| 15 | 1 | |
1662727066 | 1662728079 | t3_x9ufiz | t5_2to41 | 14 | Reasonable_Topic699: TIFU by letting a scammer ruin my life
I, 23 years old was about to play some games on steam when I got a message from a friend on discord who’s account got hacked by a scammer i didn’t know at the time told me that I was reported by accident and that I had 12 days before my account got banned. What I didn’t know was that it was a hacked by a scammer by the name of SOLO#3333 on discord and has multiple accounts. This person tricked me into thinking he was a steam moderator and told me that I had to give him a certain amount of money in order to validate my account.
Being scared and not clearly thinking I panicked and literally gave this scammer $5,000. Literally all of my own savings. What makes it even worse is that it was given to me by my mom in order to open my bank account. I thought I was almost done but It wasn’t until I got messages from other friends telling me my account got hacked and I was mad and called him out.
I was so scared about my mom finding that I tried not to tell her and try to work my ass off at my job trying to make all the money back. Eventually some time later she looked into my bank account and saw that I only had $500 in my savings. She got mad asked what happened and I told her how I got scammed.
She got really furious at me and rightfully so because I was so stupid and dumb for being too trustworthy. She told me that we’re closing my bank account and my card will be broken. Words cannot describe how awful I feel.
I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from believing this scam. Mom, if you ever see this, I want you to know how very sorry I am for everything I’ve done to you. I threw away all of your money because of my own stupidity.
I know that no amount of apologies will ever fix everything, nor will it bring you back all the money I lost by letting a scammer take every cent I had and hiding this from you. I’m nothing but a liar, deceiver, heart stabber, cruel and ignorant human. I keep being scared of making you mad.
But all I do is nothing but hurt you more. You will probably never forgive me, but all I can say is Im sorry for not only being so gullible and stupid, but I’m also sorry for never being the good son you thought I was. You deserve to have someone that isn’t a spoiled, ignorant, lazy, spoiled, ungrateful son who spends all his money on games and food and not on what he needs to help his family. I’ve lived half my life and have nothing to show for it.
You deserve a much better person in your life than a total and complete embarrassment in every possible way and a waste of a so called “man” like me. In my heart I beg for your forgiveness, but in my mind I know I don’t deserve it. I’m sorry for lying and hurting you so much. I’m sorry for losing all that money.
TL;DR And I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better son to you. You have been there for all my life and I repaid you by stabbing you in the heart. I wish there was any way that I could take the burden and pain away from you and put it on me. I have no excuse for what I’ve done. I fucked up real bad. Again mom, if you ever read this, please know that I love you, and I’m sorry
Devittraisedto2: Ah I know this scam
"Is this your steam account? someone hacked my friend's account and used this account to make purchases, I reported you but it seems like it wasn't you. If you can help me out contact this person on discord, they're a steam admin"
That alone should've sent warning signals.
Always inquire and don't panic because you'll do irrational things like what you did.
But, one thing doesn't make sense.
*Why did you give $5,000 dollars*
*How did you give $5,000 dollars when that was going to be used to open your bank*
Reasonable_Topic699: That’s the one. But this was also my first time dealing with something like this. Because the previous time it happened I didn’t give any money. I just got a random message and minutes later my old account got taken down without me doing it
Devittraisedto2: Whenever someone asks for money online
**Do not give it.**
Sucks that you lost $5,000 but try and contact your bank or whatever transaction method company it was that you used to try and reverse the payment.
You fell for a scam but there should be a way to at least help you.
dnbmerchant: I agree, Inform the police and the bank/payment system you used.
| 5 | 2.8 | |
1662735078 | 1662735794 | t3_x9xijo | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching music videos with my young brother
[deleted]
Zirtrioxxx: My name is also Spencer
Mil3s-Away: It’s a good name. I prefer it to mine
| 3 | 2 | |
1662736354 | 1663131001 | t3_x9y1q3 | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by staring at my friends boobs
[deleted]
AndrewFishay: I did something similar, I have a tendency to zone out sometimes, basically my eyes kinda squint and though I’m looking at something, my brain is completely somewhere else and what I’m looking at doesn’t even register to me. I met a girl I had been chatting to casually online with a few friends from both sides. We where all chatting away over a few beers and my mind drifted. We weren’t really a match. Anyway, she was quite well endowed and wearing a low cut top. She noticed and I snapped out of my zone, immediately realised I was basically starring directly at her chest like a some kind of transfixed sex pest. I laughed it off and explained myself. Everyone laughed, but yeah, kinda hard to dig yourself outta that one :/ but in all honesty, she was just sat infront of me when I zoned out. Never saw her again, never tried either. The fact I zoned out meeting her said it all, just not a match 🤷🏻♂️
Frankly_Frank_: Sounds like you have a serious case of adhd
AndrewFishay: Yeah possibly, I have laser focus on other stuff, but I do tend to battle to pay attention sometimes and find myself day dreaming a lot.
EwokCafe: Yeah that's ADHD
| 5 | 8 | |
1662736450 | 1662817301 | t3_x9y341 | t5_2to41 | 2,165 | KennyThaKid: TIFU by watching the newest She-Hulk episode
For some backstory, my roommate recently got me hooked into watching The Sopranos. I had never seen it before and knew nothing about it other than it has something to do with the Mob. We’re about halfway through season 3 and I am absolutely loving everything about it.
Now I’ve been seeing all the talk about She-Hulk (the good, the bad, and the ugly opinions) ranging from it being the worst show to the best show ever. I figured I would just watch it myself and form my own opinion. I was three episodes in and everything’s going well, and then I decide to watch the newest episode.
There’s a scene about 1/4 of the way in that starts with The Sopranos theme song and I’m thinking, “oh shit! I know that song, that’d be funny if he was watching Sopranos ha.” Lo and behold he actually was watching it and then a character just up and completely drops a semi-major spoiler out of nowhere that blindsided the hell out of me.
I was shocked, confused, and in anguish. My gasts were utterly flabbered.
In hindsight I should’ve stopped watching the episode then and there in case, for whatever reason, anything else is spoiled about the show. I kept watching. Towards the end of the episode the same character drops an even BIGGER spoiler having to do with one of the main characters of the show. I literally paused it and yelled “WHAT. THE. FUCK.” out loud in complete shock. I sat in silence for a solid minute just registering what I had heard.
I am just sad at this point.
The reason I would give someone to not watch She-Hulk is for nothing if not to prevent major spoilers for one of the greatest shows of all time, regardless of how long ago it finished.
TLDR: Watched the newest episode of She-Hulk and a character dropped two major spoilers for The Sopranos before I got to that point in the show. Am sad.
EDIT: I’ll clarify, I don’t think this spoiler is a reason not to watch the entirety of She-Hulk, that was a [very poor choice of words](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/CalculatingWholeKodiakbear-size_restricted.gif) on my part. But I will say, if you plan on watching The Sopranos, just skip 04:30-04:40 and 17:45-17:55 of episode 4 of She-Hulk.
Adm_Mitthrawnuruodo: That’s the danger you face when trying watching a popular show of yesteryear. I have never seen Lost, and it’s on my watchlist, but I think I’m safe from spoilers because even after twenty years, nobody really knows what the fuck it was about or what was ever happening.
oasiscat: I realized after about season 4 of Lost, that the proof was in the name of the show: the whole point of the show is to just feel Lost. There was no rhyme or reason that the writers kept teasing. After 4 seasons, I was just as Lost as in S1 Ep1. That's when it dawned on me. There's nothing going on. Even the writers were Lost.
I never watched another episode after that...
goodboybane: I stopped after S2 when I realized that the show doesn't make sense, like at all.
SylvanGenesis: I have to say that as someone who finished Lost, these takes are pretty iffy. I don't want to say more as this thread was started by someone who has Lost in the watchlist though.
Mr_Adam2011: I will say, as another who finished lost, it's worth watching till halfway through the last season. If you think it was mess the rest of the run, the last half of the last season is just a train wreck.
williamlee666: Worst ending to a series ever...I binged it after it was already out, and those seasons were LONG...I put so much time into it, and was so pissed as the realization slowly began to sink in at the end that there was no way out for the writers...
hitforhelp: Idk. Dexter is pretty high up there for worst ending ever.
Ricky_Goat_518: Game of Thrones wants a word
| 9 | 240.555556 | |
1662738510 | 1662738862 | t3_x9yxiy | t5_2to41 | 29 | RandomNobody420: TIFU by sexually assulating a hot women accidently
(Note some contents of the story to protect my identity)
Today was a crap day. I had ruined my usual pair of trousers the day before and hadn't had time to wash them before going out, instead I grabbed another trouser but i picked the ONE trouser that was to loose for me to wear! By the time I realised it was to late I had to go to work and change my trousers when I get home. The walk to work was hell I constantly had to pull up my trousers and I couldn't run unless I was holding them up.
I arrived to work 10 minutes late but my manager decided to brush it aside.
Now where the trousers REALLY annoyed me every time I walked I had to be holding my trousers up (which made me look really weird) and sometimes it dropped in front of my collagues. It cost me a lot of time constantly having to walk everywhere and I had to stay after my shift ended to finish off all the things I couldn't.(which cost me 30 minutes)
Another coworker (we're going to name her Emma) also had to stay behind and finished right before me and we were leaving at relatively same time
Now something to note Emma is what you can say is a "attractive women" especially from behind which makes this situation even worse for me
While going down the stairs (with Emma in front) I triped over myself and started falling when this happens at the very same time my trousers went flying down and of course I landed right on Emma WITH my trousers down. I quickly got up and bought my trousers back up and explained to emma that i had tripped over but she still stood up slapped me and walked away.
I looked around and they were no cameras around that would have seen what happened so Emma has no proof of this happening but am still scared what might happen if she reports this. I just hope she didn't notice the fallen down trousers
TL;DR wore the wrong trousers and landed on a busty women's Butt
lublinj2: No belt?
butmcsquishy: Belts are a foreign concept to way too many people.
lublinj2: Wild. I have a few.
butmcsquishy: I own like 8. Each for a different occasion.
lublinj2: Gotta stay high fashion. I WFH so I’m able to “bum it”
| 6 | 4.833333 | |
1662736423 | 1662741497 | t3_x9y2pd | t5_2to41 | 30 | Mil3s-Away: TIFU by scaring my brother
On Wednesday evening I was sat in my room watching Breaking Bad, and my brother Spencer walked in the room. Spencer is 6, which is obviously too young to be watching Breaking Bad, so I paused it. He said he wanted to sit with me, so I turned it off and let him. I asked him what he wanted to do and he said music. So I thought I’d show him some music videos. I showed him the music Video for Dani California (RHCP) and he loved it. A couple other videos showed up after and I asked what he wanted to watch next. I kept scrolling through until he made a choice.
The music video was By The Way (again by RHCP) and is by far my favourite music video of all time. We sat down and watched it, and it got to that part where the guy drives into the tunnel. At that part where he gets the flares out of the back of the car and smiles at Kiedis, Spencer let out a short scream and covered his eyes. I immediately turned it off, but he started crying and hugging me.
After some delicate convincing I managed to get him to stop crying and told him that it wasn’t real and that there’s nothing to be scared of. I got him to calm down, and put a minecraft video on for him to watch instead. That night I woke up in the middle of the night to Spencer, holding a stuffed giraffe and saying that he heard a car and thought the man in the video was outside our house. After about 10 minutes I managed to get him back to bed.
The next night he came into my room again, this time very scared saying he had a bad dream. I sat him down and he said that he had a dream where he was in a taxi with that guy in the video sat next to him. I sat with him for a bit, calmed him down, and told him again that it wasn’t real and there’s nothing to worry about. Not I’m worried that he’s gonna be the same tonight and it’s my fault. And I feel horrible
TL;DR - Showed my brother a music video that he found scary and it kept him up at night for 2 days
WilliamMinorsWords: Just stick with showing him actual kids stuff from now on.
Mil3s-Away: I plan on it, don’t worry
| 3 | 10 | |
1662737343 | 1664419228 | t3_x9yg73 | t5_2to41 | 57 | Soft-Society7402: TIFU by accidentally playing cbat during sex.
so this happened yesterday but i was too tired to make this post.
basically heres what happened.
My partner (20) and I (20) were in the car talking and somehow the cbat meme got brought up. I asked them if they had seen it, and they said “no”. So naturally, I had to tell the story, with musical aid. So I played a bit of the song from spotify while we were driving and told them the story. When we had gotten home, things got a bit steamy, and I realized I wanted to play some smexy music. Totally forgot what we were talking about earlier. Usually when i play music with my alexa i just say “alexa open spotify” and let whatever is playing play in the background while i find the playlist i want. So I asked my alexa to open spotify, and cbat just blasts on full volume in my room, and my partner looked at me with wide eyes and burst out laughing, while i frantically was yelling “alexa stop!!!” Not nearly bad as original cbat guy, but still it was pretty funny when it happened.
TL;DR: i showed my partner cbat to explain the meme, my alexa blasted the song while i was looking for my sex playlist.
Zestfullyclean87: Man you guys are going to be milking that cbat thing for years aren’t you
Soft-Society7402: i get where ur coming from but this is a true story lol
| 3 | 19 | |
1662740500 | 1662752383 | t3_x9zrn7 | t5_2to41 | 52 | uhhthrow_me_away2000: TIFU by masturbating while the queen died
[removed]
BurnerForJustTwice: What were you doing when Jeffrey Epstein died? I don’t think anybody really asks questions like that?
Also, it’s 2022, it’s in to be so sexually explicit. Look at trump. Grabbing people by their vaginas.
KingGuy420: Epstein, no... no one asks that question. But major world events they do. A "What were you doing when you found out about 9/11?" thread pops up on reddit every other day.
BurnerForJustTwice: Yea, major world events. I’m not sure how the queen is relevant. She doesn’t have any political power and the monarchy has a lot of blood on their hands. QE2 is a saint in comparison to her ancestors, but still, what her institution stands for is so out of touch with modern reality that 99% of the world will continue on as usual compared with what happened after 9/11. Wars were started and policies changed. Many many many people died during the attacks and after because of the response to it.
Comparing her death to 9/11 is disrespectful and out of touch.
KingGuy420: And comparing her death to a child molester's is disrespectful. That's a really weird card for you to play lol.
But it is a major world event, whether you think so or not. Her and her death will go down in history. Epstein's is all but forgotten already.
9/11 isn't the only thing that question gets asked about, it was just the first example I thought of. And you asked specifically about the question, so I answered specifically about the question. Hell, sitcoms have done
parodies of the question cause it gets asked that commonly.
BurnerForJustTwice: Lol. Word. Actually I see what your point was in the initial reply. I said “people don’t ask those questions” but I should have said “in my opinion, people wouldn’t ask that question for an event like QE2 death”.
Anyway, I don’t think QE2 and Epstein are as different as you think. They were 1 connection away, ahem, prince andrew
KingGuy420: I've heard people ask that question about Michael Jackson... if you think people won't ask it about the Queen, you're delusional lol.
BurnerForJustTwice: I’m not saying they wouldn’t. I’m saying they shouldn’t. What did QE2 give the world? MJ gave us Thriller, I remember what I was doing back in June 2009 when he died.
RIP MJ. Sha mon
KingGuy420: Ahhh I see what happened here...
BurnerForJustTwice: Shakatuku yea hea Oooo!
| 10 | 5.2 | |
1662743809 | 1663417668 | t3_xa13v7 | t5_2to41 | 36 | throwaway1233444927: TIFU by telling her how I feel
For context, I am seventeen, I'm a senior in high school and also taking college classes to graduate with my AA degree alongside my diploma. She is 16, a junior in high school and goes to an alternative school for people not on track to graduate or have behavioral issues. I was working a temporary job to earn a little money while I was off from school over the summer. She only worked four days of the two and a half weeks that I worked there. The moment I saw her I thought she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my life. I'm not good at talking to people in general unless I'm trying to be funny, especially girls, but I had to talk to her. I had the same shift as her the last two days she worked there and we clicked, I don't know how but we did. There was one point, relatively late at night on her last day that we held hands for a brief moment. It felt like a dream, like I never wanted it to end. After work that night I started talking to her through Instagram, we've been talking every day ever since. She likes me and I like her, I asked her out on a date and she said yes. We haven't gone yet, but she's agreed we're basically in a relationship. We lead opposite lives, but we have so much in common. She is amazing, I can't stop thinking about her. Last night she fell asleep and I was tired and going to bed and I sent a very long message (so long it had to be split up between three Instagram messages) about how she makes me happy and less paranoid about everything and apologizing for being so stressed and anxious all the time, and apologizing for not being good at talking to her. I told her I'm proud of her for putting her nose to the grindstone at school. What I really wanted to say, and what would have been much more concise, is that I love her, but I was worried that if I had said that I would have freaked her out. Well I might have anyway, this morning she saw the message and didn't reply or anything, I woke up about 30 minutes after she saw that and said, "good morning, sorry for that". She hasn't even looked at it yet. She wakes up early for school and that's probably overwhelming first thing in the morning so I'm really hoping she just planned on reading it later. It wouldn't be the first time I sent her a long message as I was going to bed. This isn't my first relationship, but it's the first one that makes me feel good about myself, I cannot fuck it up. I have to hope that my anxiety is messing with me and that as soon as she gets home I'll fet a message that reassures me, but waiting another hour or so is painstaking.
TL;DR: I told a girl I met at work, whom I am basically in a relationship with, how happy she makes me in an extremely long message that boils down to I love you without actually saying it. She saw it and hasn't said anything else to me since. I'm worried I lost her over this and I'm losing my mind over it.
Update: She blocked me. I'm a little distraught at the moment, I tried getting my friend to tell her how sorry I am but I don't think she cares. I'll bounce back it's just going to suck for a bit.
Sephert: You definitely made some mistakes but they aren’t the ones you think. You let your excitement get the best of you and you poured your heart out. Early in relationships this reeks of desperation and insecurity. Women are genetically programmed to reject both of those things. Hard. 2 years into a relationship, and she probably would have loved a message like that. Take things slow when you start a new relationship.
You also don’t know what you triggered with her. It’s possible she has had bad relationships in the past and those guys came off the same way, so it might have made her run. It’s also possible that it just overwhelmed her, and she needs time to process it. Maybe nobody has ever told her things like that. Maybe she’s afraid she can’t live up to your expectations and it put pressure on her. In either case, being clingy and stalkish trying to get an answer out of her is not the move you want to make.
You’re also making things worse by continuously apologizing. “Sorry” is not what you need to be saying right now. It highlights your desperation. Give her a little space. If you work with her again, act like nothing changed. Be the guy that she liked in the first place. Try to forget it happened and put yourself in the mindset that it didn’t happen. Then, let her bring it up. I cannot emphasize that enough. Just do everything in your power to not make being around you weird or uncomfortable. Don’t apologize. You meant what you said. If you apologize for anything, apologize for putting that pressure on her. Emphasize that you were just excited by then possibilities. If you play your cards right, you might get another shot.
Lndrash: >>Women are genetically programmed to reject both of those things.
There's nothing genetic about this.
Sephert: I think we agree that insecurity is like poison to women in general regardless of the reason.
From a natural selection perspective, the insecure guy hiding behind a rock isn’t going to kill the lion or provide food and security for you and your offspring. By virtue of natural selection it actually can become expressed genetically over time because the women who are selective in that way have more genetic success.
Lndrash: Ok Thunderf00t.
If this is a genetic trait bred specifically into le female species, how comes insecurity is considered universally unattractive and/or a character flaw by men and women alike?
Besides, showcasing cowardice in face of danger to your partner and the inability to provide for her, is in no way comparable to expressing your feelings openly and writing a letter to your love interest. How she will react to it, depends entirely on her personality, which is a complex construct created from upbringing, culture, education and countless other social factors influencing you throughout your life.
How many lions your glorious caveman ancestors managed to beat up with their bare fists, sadly holds little relevance in todays society. Besides, most women aren't into animal abuse.
| 5 | 7.2 | |
1662746731 | 1662768776 | t3_xa29tr | t5_2to41 | 24,798 | tifoood: Tifu by naming my husband as “daddy” in my contacts
So i (25f) messed up hugely. I was out once with my friends and my husband called me and after i ended the call they were like “why did you put ‘husband’ as his name” so i changed it to ‘daddy’ after not thinking twice. It was all fine until one day my husband was running abit late, so i type up ‘daddy’ not thinking twice and message him like “im naked in my room for you”. Now heres where i fucked up, i actually sent it to my dad completely oblivious that i named him the same thing when i was in my teens, i never really message my dad because hes not a techy person. Anyways i go to the kitchen and get a drink and my dad just asks me “was this message meant for me” (he lives with us). I was so shocked that i just said nothing and went to my room.
Tldr: i messaged my dad “im naked in my room for you” instead of my husband.
bobkalonger: Change your dad's contact name to "Father" and you won't make that mistake again
Edit: lot of priest jokes in response to my comment...you guys have the personal number of your priest? Seems weird but maybe it's normal? idk
tifoood: I went one step further and named him “biological father”
P1kmac: Your hubby? That makes it weird
mwing95: r/Alabama has entered the chat
ValyrianJedi: I used to always think this was a joke but at this point I've met two sets of married first cousins and a guy married to his step daughter, and all 3 are from Alabama.
And they are all successful functioning members of society down there, not like out in the sticks with no electricity
TheFrenchFryWarrior: Makes it even worse tbh
SleepyMarijuanaut92: It's like if the Goller's were allowed to prosper.
FistyMcTavish: You know of the golers? I live near that place
SleepyMarijuanaut92: Of course I knew them, they're me
Jk though, I'm from N.S.
FistyMcTavish: Same, and I'm high too!
SleepyMarijuanaut92: Smoking my first one of the day. Long day but, a good long day.
| 12 | 2,066.5 | |
1662747223 | 1662774268 | t3_xa2gol | t5_2to41 | 3,462 | Clarybird: tifu by taking an ancestry DNA test
So this was a few weeks back but yeah. I (24f) took one of those ancestry DNA tests and when it came back it showed that I was way too close in DNA to my half aunt, basically showing that she was my full aunt. It also showed family members that shouldn't have come up from my aunts fathers side. My aunt told my mom( 55f) and basically realized my mom's father (my grandpa 94m) isn't actually her dad. My mom had gone 35+ years thinking her (technically) step dad was her actual dad when her real dad died when she was 18. She was obviously super upset about it as I practically accidentally turned her whole life upside down, I feel so awful even though she tells me it's obviously not my fault. She says it doesn't change anything, that my grandpa is still my grandpa, which I wasn't going to think differently anyway. BUT she went to go visit to tell him yesterday because of will legality stuff, just in case he decided to change it and such, and she is so sad because she knows it's going to break his heart because he doesn't know she's not his daughter either. I opened the worst Pandora's box mess of a situation and I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading.
TL;DR: I took a DNA test and found out my grandpa isn't actually my grandpa and now my mom is upset.
Edit because everything is confusing lol: her bio dad is the prior husband and the later husband is the 94yo. She believed she was later husbands daughter when she's actually prior husbands daughter. Grandma had an affair and told my mom at 18 that later husband was her dad. Grandma passed years ago so we can't ask. My mom has 7 older siblings from prior marriage as well. Hope this clears some confusion lol.
Edit 2: so my mom had already told him and he just basically said naw he didn't believe it and that was that. Everything is back to as it was before and I'm glad. Thanks everyone!
Snoo58161: I understand the honesty but I am not sure if you should tell him. Does it really change anything for your mother? He is 94, he shouldn't deal with this stuff but instead have a few more happy years.
Clarybird: The issue is if we keep it from him and his family finds out they could sue us for any money and such he leaves for us in his will.
ElizaS99: Anyone can sue for anything, but they won't have standing because if he is her legal father, DNA has nothing to do with it at this point.
Clarybird: Under this circumstance it would be possible if we 'kept it' from him and he wasn't made aware.
notorious98: You know that courts have ruled against fathers seeking to stop paying child support after they found out they weren't the biological father, yes?
SayNo2BigMarijuana: Because the courts system is anti-men.
notorious98: Next time you're little pea sized brain has a thought, recognize that it's probably that your asshole is leaking again, fuckin goof.
Droidlivesmatter: He's not entirely wrong though.
About child support? Yeah he's 100% wrong. Child support is there for the benefit of the child and as much as it may suck for some dudes, it's fair. Because both parents are technically supposed to equally contribute to that. (I know it can get abused though)
But when it comes to custody of the child? Men get the short end of the stick. That's due to precedent existing. For the LONGEST time, women would get custody of the children, because they would be usually 'housewives' and they were more able to care for the childs needs. It was very rare for, lets say in the 40s.. 50s.. 60s.. etc. for a man to be a stay at home dad.
Also sometimes, men don't ask for custody.
In Canada, custody is about 12.8% shared, 79.3% exclusive mother, 6.6% exclusive father, and 1.2% other (i.e. grandparents/adoption etc.)
Between ages of 0-5? almost 81% exclusive mother. From 6-11, it's 74%
My friend and his ex-wife had a child. They divorced when he was 5. The court gave her 90% custody. (She didn't work, she hasn't worked in years and didn't plan on working)
He fought for a year or so for 50/50. He spent about $90,000 in lawyer fees to get that ruling.
He got to see his child, one weekend a month. (Friday->Sunday). Paying child support and spousal support out his ass to the point where he had to move in with his mom so he could live.
During that year, he met someone else. Landed a permanent teaching job (90k/year salary + benefits etc.) and he bought a home with his new wife.
Meanwhile.. his ex, moved to the slums, smokes like a chimeny, doesn't work, and she beats the child often. To the point the child was begging to see his father, but couldn't. The boy was 6 years old, and has gone through therapy.. and the courts still give 50% custody to her.
Now the new wife and my friend are going to be fighting for full custody. And it's ONLY because he's now married and has a "two parent home" that he has a chance to get that.
Courts aren't fair because they don't get all the information. They can only judge as to what they have and see. I remember helping my friend pay for lawyer fees when he couldn't. My guy was ready to go bankrupt to protect his child. He just got married in a stupid situation to his first wife.
​
Obviously; anecdotal evidence with my friend, and we weren't talking custody, but rather child support. But custody will have an impact on future child support. (i.e. you take on full custody of a child and then divorce)
MidnightAdventurer: >About child support? Yeah he's 100% wrong. Child support is there for the benefit of the child and as much as it may suck for some dudes, it's fair. Because both parents are technically supposed to equally contribute to that. (I know it can get abused though)
Except if the "father" can prove 100% that they aren't the father then it's not fair for the state to ask them to pay for a kid that isn't theirs which is what is happening when the court makes a ruling). If the state is really so poor or stingy that they can't cover it in that situation then you've got even bigger problems.
This may be an unusual situation, but it is the point that started this comment chain
Droidlivesmatter: If you have custody of the child you ARE the father though. Biological or not.
Since you "Stood in place of the father". There's usually a time window where you may be able to get out of it.
And there have been cases where a duped father HAS gotten away without paying child support.
But the truth is, if your partner has a child, and you support that child in some capacity.. and there's no one else. Family law will seek the best interest in the child.
Remember, when it comes to child support, it's not "woman vs man or man vs woman". It's the government standing in as a representative for the child to get the best outcome for the childs well being.
The same way as if a woman abandons the child and tries to run off and a man is alone. They can still rule that the woman has to pay child support. Even in cases where the man finds another woman. (It's just.. very rare this happens because it's seldom women will run away from their own children they birth)
MidnightAdventurer: Sure, if you have custody and are continuing to look after them then you're still acting as the father. If not, then it doesn't matter how much time has passed - it's not their responsibility and it never was. And there's always someone else - the government (at whichever level is appropriate) can and should pay so as to avoid disadvantaging the child while also not asking someone who is the victim of fraud to pay for it.
Droidlivesmatter: So are you saying that, we as tax payers should be the ones paying for the children? And NOT the fathers? Weird.
If you take on the roles of a father, you should be supporting that child. You took it upon yourself to take custody etc. Just because you say "Nah nvm" doesn't absolve you of that responsibility. That's just fucking shit logic there. You'd cause so much more strain on the system by saying "Nah the government should pay for it".
Why am I now responsible with MY tax dollars for someone elses kids?
MidnightAdventurer: I am saying that if the government really wants someone to pay for a child when they can't find the father then they should do it themselves. If you took on the role thinking that you were actually the father then gave up or were forced to give up that role when you found out that you weren't then why should you have to pay for someone lying to you that whole time? (Remembering that we are only talking about cases where the person in question is proven NOT to be the father...)
Your tax dollars won't even notice this amount - these aren't exactly common cases so you're talking about a rounding error on the total budget. So yes, I think you as at tax payer should either butt out entirely and let the "not actually the father" go free or stump up the cash. Personally, I'd rather stump up the cash because it's the best overall outcome for the society long term.
| 14 | 247.285714 | |
1662760864 | 1662762383 | t3_xa7ujf | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my ex
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: > I had found out he cheated multiple times after the relationship ended
Do you mean that you found out after the relationship ended that he had cheated multiple times?
ZestycloseTension561: Yeah, about 2 months after it came out from another one of his friends
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1662762259 | 1663511145 | t3_xa8e2q | t5_2to41 | 3 | articlmonkeys: TIFU high-bonded with my shitty ex
So I (20sf) didn’t realize this was part of my fuckup till last night. Last night while high with edibles and at a concert started celeb crushing on the lead singer and guitarist. I realized I had never really had a celeb crush prior to when I started getting high.
I realized there’s this peak moment of getting high for about 10 minutes where anyone who I can objectively see as attractive sober who’s acting like a cool/nice person becomes actually attractive to me.
I basically had never been high before I met my ex 3 years ago. We pretty quickly started doing nightly smokes with another friend who I see like family. So happy high feelings made me extra close to the ex boyfriend in a way no past relationship compared. Jfc this man was an asshole. Mental and emotional abuse, cheating when I was sick, and other shit. And I couldn’t figure out why I cared so deeply for him that I let him hurt me and still wanted to trust him. I chalked it up to being vulnerable when sick.
Last night I realized how much of it is just being really trusting of people while under the influence. Well shit. At least that ship is over. Boy bye.
Tl:dr: realized weed makes emotions intense not just temporarily for me, high-bonded with shitty ex
nela1x: Sf? Bro I just read X and I’ve no ide what it means in another post
articlmonkeys: In my 20s female
nela1x: Oooh got it
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1662770593 | 1662771153 | t3_xabfpc | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU i backed into my parents Tesla on accident. i feel terrible.
[deleted]
elizabethjanet: You backed into your parents Tesla by accident? Well, it was an accident. Just tell the truth.
Scarboroughwarning: It's either by accident, or on purpose.
| 3 | 1 | |
1662772894 | 1662840878 | t3_xac93j | t5_2to41 | 61 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to my High-school reunion
[deleted]
coolguy1793B: you're only 10 years outta highschool, so what 29 ish? youve got years ahead of you. plenty of time to make changes to get ahead..btw time moves faster the older you get (some weired quantum physics thing) so get at it!
jacantu: The way time feels like it moves faster is because it’s a lot smaller compared to the size of your life. For example, the summers between elementary school seemed like they went l forever because you’d only been alive say 7-8 years. Each year is a significant portion of your life. By the time you hit your 20s, 30s, each year is so much smaller in your span. Imagine being elderly. Each year is such a tiny fraction of your life in comparison.
laziestbanana: I’m sure they knew that and the quantum thing was just a joke
I hope
jacantu: You know, I always hope the same, but you know someone out there is thinking it might be so May as well drop it.
| 5 | 12.2 | |
1662773120 | 1662808509 | t3_xacbvw | t5_2to41 | 14 | Depressednb27: TIFU by having sex with my roommate
Some context: I (27X) live with my fiancee (30F), and another couple, A(25X) and B(25M). We are both polyamorous couples. Me and my fiancee have had sex with other afab ppl, A has had sex with other people, but B has been hesitant to try bc of his past. We've never slept together bc my fiancee and A are cousins, and this isn't Alabama.
However, B approached me and asked if we could try. I haven't slept with an amab person in nearly a decade bc of sexual trauma, but I've healed enough from it that I wanted to try too. Our partners were fully aware and consenting.
Long story short, it was amazing. It felt wonderful to finally be liberated from my trauma, and to enjoy penetrative sex w an amab person. We didn't catch feelings, just enjoyed each other's company. 10/10, would do again.
Here's where I fucked up.
I am a student, and am taking a full rota of in-person classes. I have been absolutely militant with my masking until now, but for personal health reasons, I am trying to avoid it for the next 2 months while I heal. I am fully vaxxed and have a weekly rapid test policy. The ppl I live with were all okay with it.
Today was the first day I was supposed to do a test, but I was so nervous I forgot until after we had sex. Guess whose positive?
I only had a mild headache, which I attributed to only getting a couple hours of sleep the past few nights, but in the last 12 hrs it's progressed to the point where I can barely get out of bed. And now not only is my fiancee exposed as a close contact, but so is B, and A by proxy. If I had just waited, or remembered beforehand, only one person would've been exposed.
Now everyone is sleeping in different rooms as best we can, wearing masks in their own home, and might catch the rona. All because of me, because I put my own needs ahead of everyone else, and couldn't remember to spend 10 fucking minutes to stick a swab up my damn nose and test it.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I just needed to let it out, bc everyone I know is saying it's not my fault. It is, 100%, unequivocally my fault. When I'm well enough to return to school, I'll keep masking, even if it slows my healing. I couldn't live with myself if someone gets ill bc of me.
Tl;dr I probably gave everyone the rona bc I couldn't keep it in my pants
OpenHandSmack: Are these paragraphs or algebra in prose format? All I got was
A 27X + sex \* AFAB to the power of polyamory = (Potential) STD
Striking-Phrase-4163: no STD just Covid.
sdestruct1: There's still time for the other
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1662773376 | 1662776320 | t3_xaceui | t5_2to41 | 132 | JC1812: TIFU Episode 61! Let’s hear em fuck up and stories! 🙂👀
AmazingQuality1193: Tifu by accidentally joining this call
mathymate: Idk what's happening. Why are they fighting? Lol
AmazingQuality1193: I don’t even know bro 😭
Gem_Knight: "I never know!?"
| 5 | 26.4 | |
1662774470 | 1662786895 | t3_xacsgq | t5_2to41 | 154 | valentineburner: TIFU By Buying a Costume Necklace
I did not buy this necklace today, but the incident this necklace caused happened just this morning. I (21f) have been with my girlfriend (21f) for a little over a year and a half. She’s absolutely lovely and we share a lot of common interests, such as horror movies. The thing is, she didn’t grow up watching any of the classics. Which is absolutely fine, it’s actually really fun to be with her when she’s watching a “classic horror” film for the first time. But one she’s never seen is Chucky.
Well about 6 days ago now, I go into Spirit Halloween and they have a replica of the necklace Tiffany, the bride of Chucky, wears throughout the films (a gold necklace with ‘tiff’ spelled out in cursive). I immediately bought it since I love Tiffany’s character and already take style inspo from her in my day to day life.
This morning she comes to my apartment, and into my bedroom. I saw her look on the nightstand and she instantly went pale and silent, and said “Who’s Tiffany” in the most devastated voice I’d ever heard her have honestly. Since it’s been almost a week and I haven’t worn it except for the day I bought it, I forgot all about the necklace. So I just said “Who?”, to which she started crying and saying “Please don’t lie to me, just tell me who she is”. At this point I still haven’t figured it out and she hasn’t told me what she’s looking at so I say “No I mean it, I don’t know a Tiffany”.
She went back into the living room and grabbed her things to leave. She’s had more than her fair share of cheating partners, so she understandably imagines the worst. As I was following her to talk about this further, I look on the nightstand and notice the necklace. I followed with the necklace in hand and explained to her it’s a movie replica, while pulling up a photo to show her as proof. She started crying harder, saying she felt crazy and embarrassed.
I completely understood though and told her i wasn’t upset or anything of the sort, with no context it did seem pretty sketchy. But I’m glad I now have an excuse to finally show her the Chucky franchise :)
TL;DR - My girlfriend thought I cheated on her because she found a necklace I bought from Spirit Halloween that says “Tiff” on it (‘Tiff’ is short for ‘Tiffany’, it’s a replica from the Chucky franchise)
Due-Profession-3563: I thought you were gonna get the amulet and she was gonna freak out that you got her that. Excellent job.
splithoofiewoofies: Girlfriend, sniffling, "Who....who is beezlebub and why is he in our bedroom holding the amulet I picked up?"
| 3 | 51.333333 | |
1662779224 | 1662822657 | t3_xaeea2 | t5_2to41 | 356 | sync_05: TIFU by picking up a really bad habit
[removed]
Significant-Ad-7444: Just come clean, it's better you get your parents involved so they can look out for you and keep you from further self harm. If you and your parents want to keep it on the downlow but still go to the lake you can bandage your arm and say you got hurt or burned or something without much more explanation then that but it's important you get help before it gets worse, catch it early and put an end to it
sync_05: That's a good idea thank you
Nebualaxy: Also wash them with warm soapy water, keeping them clean and dry will help it to heal quicker. Granted they won't be gone by Sunday but it'll help speed up the process.
If you ever feel like harming yourself again please try some other methods such as squeezing ice, snapping hairbands/ elastic bands on wrists or thighs.
You're not alone, talk to people. There's always help and people who care.
ilovelavender13: Snapping elastic bands on your skin isn’t a good method of deterrence anymore. It was given as a suggestion a lot during the tumblr era but it’s often another form of self-harm. If someone wants to hurt themselves, and they think snapping rubber bands, they end up with bruises and blood. It’s not effective. It’s just another mechanism of injury.
| 5 | 71.2 | |
1662850498 | 1662898552 | t3_xaevpc | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: First of all, I understand your points. I understood them long ago. Thank you for the words.
secondly, you're right. the points you made are very much true, and on multiple accounts my mom has said "oh, my dad used to beat me all the time, pahaha." and my dad always tells me sob stories of rural Uzbekistan where he had 8 siblings and shared one shoe. so they obviously are blinded by some kind of stigma. They're not going to change. They've even said it themselves. my mom has told me "Your dad is not the kind of person to change, trust me, I've tried for 16 years.
Third, You're wrong. It's not like I woke up like 2 days ago and thought "I'm depressed." This is a thing I've been suffering through day in and day out for the past I think 4 years. Even my mom acknowledges it and told me my physician thinks I have ADHD.
Fifth, I'm not going to change. I'm not the one that needs to. Like it or not, times evolve, and its usually for the better.
It's not like I'm actively trying to make my life worse. If I had the money, the means, and transportation, I'd love to go to the gym, get therapy, or better myself, but alas, I'm 15.
kwyl: Thank you for reading my response with an open mind and not being so offended by my words that you were unable to point out logically where I got it right and where I got it wrong. Treating others like that will help you go far and garner you much respect in the adult world. I appreciate the additional backstory as well and that has inspired additional thoughts on my part. I'm gonna go ahead with those because I believe you are intelligent and self-aware enough to receive them in the spirit they are intended. It seems your mother is a bit more evolved than your dad. Build on that relationship. The Dr. saying ADHD may be on to something. I believe you have had these issues as long as you say you have. Just be sure you know there is a significant difference between clinical depression and the anger, sadness and frustration caused by untreated ADHD. Please don't saddle yourself with the depression moniker until you try to treat your ADHD. Gaining control of that condition may produce the results in your mental health that you are looking for. If you really feel that your father's behavior is having actual negative effects on you, look into emancipation laws in your area and use the intelligence you possess to make a plan. You say you won't change because you're not the one who's wrong and you are right about that. I just want to know if you changing would result in a happier life for you why would you refuse to do it? Isn't that the same as someone who just wants to be miserable? I will talk to you about all this as long as you want me to. I don't mind.
[deleted]: Well, the ADHD was an observational diagnosis. I'm not one to question professionals, but I think it goes deeper than a quick 30 minute conversation and check-up with a doctor. I also don't want to self-diagnose. For the longest time, I've denied having depression or some sort of mental illness saying I'm just what my parents describe me as: lazy. But I'm trying to understand myself, still.
As for why I'm not changing myself, It's because I cant. Like, I said, I would love to, but I'm simply too young to be taken seriously, and too old to be hand-held. If I do suddenly change, nobody will help, and nobody will notice. Not to mention, I'm still expected to take care of my baby brother 90% of the time, so I'm booked.
where I live, emancipation minimum age is 16. I've thought about that, but its impossible currently. Especially since I need my parents to consent as well.
kwyl: I see your points in that whole reply but I do take issue with your use of the word "can't". Maybe you're are too overwhelmed with the combination of challenges you are facing right now and that's totally understandable. Not once have I denied you are under some kind of intense pressure. Probably too much for a teen approaching adulthood. Don't discount baby steps though. You are right not to just go all in on a quick diagnosis from your doctor. You do need to find some relief though. Why is it you that's carrying so much responsibility for your baby brother? I assumed your mother didn't work because of your one-income household remark. Is that not the case? Also you do have other siblings. Why don't they have to share that burden? Do you think your mother told your father about your concern for your mental health? Do you think she would keep secrets with you from him? Does she go into the exam room with you when you see the doctor? Do you like the counselor at your school? There are many small, under the radar type options you have to begin. I know the whole prospect is daunting in your current situation but begin you must or it will surely never end.
[deleted]: It's not that I'm carrying the entire responsibility of my baby brother. I take care of him with my older sister. I have a younger sister but she's in turkey with my mom. and I try to relax when my dad is gone or I have the chance, but my dad said he wants both of us to watch him at all times. All my dad normally does when we're around is leave him to us, and get him to sleep at night.
My mom does work. She works from home, full time, just like my dad. I made that remark in a different comment with the hypothetical that I call the police or my dad leaves us. I do not think she has once told my dad about my mental health concerns. Otherwise, you wouldn't have made that remark about not doing what a mentally stable person would do when I cried in front of him. even after my dad hit me, I don't think she told him. I have cried in front of my mom. I have broke down and fallen in front of her because I told her "I think I'm depressed" before. And I wholeheartedly believe she has never told anyone. Nor do I think she is taking it seriously. not to mention the fact that my dad has abused my mom before as well.
Last time I went to the doctor, she was not allowed in the exam room. I think however, given the chance, she would definitely go.
As for the counselor, I never considered this an option.
I've heard one too many stories of people going to them, them telling the student its going to be okay and they're just here to hear them out, then afterwards calling the fucking police.
This has actually happened to us, before. My younger sister said something about my mom yelling at her in school or something, and a CPS official came to make sure we weren't an abusive family.
Looking at it now, I don't want to do anything about it anymore. I'm scared, and I'm worried ill only hurt everyone. its messed up, but in the end, ill probably get nowhere. All that's going to happen is I'll continue as if nothing is wrong, my parents will act like nothing ever happened, everybody will forget about it and ill grow up and then feel guilty about ever thinking about cutting ties with my parents.
kwyl: >Otherwise, you wouldn't have made that remark about not doing what a mentally stable person would do when I cried in front of him.
I don't recall making any statement like this. It's late here and I'm tired so I'll re-read our exchanges in the morning to see if I misspoke.
As to the school counselor, it's true they have an obligation to report. Since you have had a bad experience with that before, let's take it off the table. I'm not saying to do something that would blow up the whole family. I'm saying, at the very least, next time you see your regular doctor alone, just ask them about trying to get a solid diagnosis about your ADHD possibility. If left untreated, it can cause serious issues with a persons self-esteem and ability to make visible progress in their life. If you don't get that diagnosis confirmed, ask the doctor what the next step is to formally identify your issue. It may be depression like you think but there are other possibilities that can be treated and completely resolved. I mean like actually cured.
With the family responsibilities, maybe talk to your mom about mixing it up some or making a schedule. You need some free time in your day to still be a kid.
[deleted]: Oh, my bad, I meant to say "my dad". I was autopiloting.
otherwise, i know. Thanks for it all.
kwyl: No worries. Reach back if you want. I hope you find some relief soon.
| 8 | 1.375 | |
1662771672 | 1663073591 | t3_xabtjo | t5_2to41 | 9 | Realistic-Target3947: TIFU by taking the service roads home
[removed]
Express_Historian898: Next time try checking before switching from the right lane to the fast (left) lane on a highway? Seems like you don’t realise you were in the wrong there
Realistic-Target3947: i did check first and i thought it was clear and it’s a 4 lane highway and like i said before i don’t have a lot of experience i got my license in june :/
| 3 | 3 | |
1662785118 | 1662788248 | t3_xag9ij | t5_2to41 | 29 | NukeInMyBunghole: TIFU by inviting someone to my sleepover
TIFU by inviting my friend over to my sleepover.
Characters. OP (me), T (Original guest) and D (Unwanted guest).
I was going to have a sleep over with just me and my friend T, but he wanted our friend D to come as well, I didn’t mind so I said sure. we get to my house and D brought his PS4 for some reason and him and T spent the 3 hours ignoring me and playing games on his playstation, on my TV, at my house, without me.
later on I’m moving into the living room to watch TV and guess what, D brings his Playstation into the living room, pushes my stuff on the floor, and starts playing GTA while whining about how I’m making him sleep on a couch.
TL;DR: I invited two people over for a sleepover and they spent the night excluding me.
SmittyManJensen_: Sounds like I wouldn’t invite them over again.
NukeInMyBunghole: it gets worse the more you know.
Spaciousone: Well now I’m curious
| 4 | 7.25 | |
1662790506 | 1663379234 | t3_xahu3s | t5_2to41 | 73 | Flyingbirrdd: TIFU by telling my friend what I find attractive in someone
The title is pretty explainable so I’ll just give you background information! I (17f) and my friend (17f) let’s call her Sam were discussing our type. I said “I like bushy eyebrows, long lashes and a nice smile” now that could mean many things but my friend jokingly said “Imagine you liked Louis!”(Fake name btw) I had been keeping it a secret since my friend tends to spill secrets so I know she’d tell the whole world about it. She looked at me and got serious and said “You don’t like him.. right?” And then figured it out For a while now I’ve been forming a crush on this one guy in my friend group (18m) but my advances he hasn’t noticed one bit. He’s kinda slow but it’s ok since every time I try he gives me his goofy smile. This would be fine but almost everyone in our friend group has liked him so it just makes the situation odd. Anyways Sam started making jokes then the next day at lunch everyone (expect Luis) was acting strange. They made us sit together and every time we spoke to each other everyone would giggle. This went on for a week until while Luis was walking me to class he asked “hey do you know why everyone is acting weird” I asked him what he meant and he gave examples then I learned they did it even when he was alone ! They’d make jokes like “bet you’re thinking about Op!” And just nonstop talk to him about me. By the time he finished explaining I was already at my class so I said bye and he walked away. I’m so mad I wish I lied and said I didn’t have a type. To make matters worse I told my friend to stop what’s she’s been doing and she said “I’m just trying to help you since if I don’t you won’t ever confess” all this is doing is distancing us.
UPDATE: This took a while to update sorry I didn’t do it sooner! So he rejected me for someone he met online. I was shocked he never told me anything! To make it worse he’s with someone who’s 14 (he said they turn 15 in a few months) while he’s turning 18 in a few weeks. I told my friends and we all dropped him. I’m just wow , I thought he was such a nice guy. Sorry again I wish this update could’ve been a good one instead it turned for the worse possible outcome.
I think I should report him or something cuz WHAT. I wish this was a joke but it’s not
TL:DR
I told my friend what I find attractive in someone she guessed it to be a mutual friend of ours and told all our friends now they are teasing me around him making it awkward and uncomfortable.
MariliaBarros: What your friend did was not cool. Regardless if she was trying to help you get with the guy. I believe you should talk to her and let her know that you won't be able to trust her anymore if she continues to do that.
With that said, just talk to the guy. Tell how you feel and that no matter what he wants to do next, you wish to remain friends.
This weird dynamic is way more damaging to the friendship than you expressing your feelings.
Good luck!
Useful_Experience423: This! I had friends who would do things like this to me and it’s pointless reasoning with their petty little minds. Here’s your action plan:
1. Ask him out and if he says no, make it clear to him that you hope you can both be mature and remain friends.
2. Put everyone else on an info diet. If they get unhappy be clear that it is as a result of their actions and inability to keep a secret. Not being able to trust your friends is painful. They shouldn’t undermine how damaging their actions have been.
3. Find new, better friends, because this won’t be the last time they do this. Take it from someone much older who wishes they had had this advice at a much younger age. Hoping they will change won’t actually make them change their shitty personalities.
Flyingbirrdd: Thank you so so much for the advice!!! Im going to try and do it this week since the atmosphere is just so bad that i rather just tell him everything than him getting more uncomfortable! Thank you again
Useful_Experience423: No problem and I’m really glad you have the strength to break away. I didn’t and I could still kick myself for it now.
Also, if you want to update us on how talking to him goes, I’m totally there for an update 😊
Flyingbirrdd: I’ll definitely update you when I tell him! Thank you again and I’m sorry you had to go through that hopefully you’re going better now!
Useful_Experience423: Very sweet of you, but I’m good - it was a very long time ago now.
Good luck!! 🍀🤞
Flyingbirrdd: Hello! The update is here! :)
Useful_Experience423: Yowzer 😨😳 I’m so sorry about that, but your instinct to report him is right on. Start with maybe a guidance counsellor or trusted teacher, but make sure they know your intention is ultimately to go to the police and you won’t back down. I hope you’re able to update us with good news soon x
Flyingbirrdd: I will but there’s only so much I could do since it’s an online relationship! But yeah this situation really turned bad quickly. I’ll try to update as soon as I tell a teacher of ours! Thank you for the evidence again too !
| 10 | 7.3 | |
1662798089 | 1662913799 | t3_xajvg3 | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by going too far with my gf
[deleted]
remindmetopaymytaxes: If she breaks up with you you’ll absolutely deserve it. How hard is it to take a no for an answer?
My ex told me a story similar to this (did a similar thing, had the same realisation of “oh no, what am i doing” when it was too late). I ignored it, because he was “just a kid” back then. Ended up doing much worse to me. You should check yourself, and probably get some help.
ConstantAd6454: I agree with everything you said. I just don’t know where to go to get help that I need.
remindmetopaymytaxes: Therapy or counselling. You can find it for free these days. Work on boundaries - recognising and respecting them. Remember, you aren’t the victim of this situation and shouldn’t feel sorry for yourself, rather choose to be better.
ConstantAd6454: Thank you.
| 5 | 6.2 | |
1662807894 | 1662823050 | t3_xammlc | t5_2to41 | 45,615 | ThrowawayMyShrooms: TIFU using shrooms in front of my gf
Yesterday my gf agreed to be my trip sitter. I like shrooms and usually I'm a 2g shroom guy, but yesterday I wanted to see what 4g would do. I asked my gf to be my trip sitter just in case I decided to Peter Pan off the balcony or something. At the time my gf seemed really keen. She even joked about getting popcorn, which she actually did.
She ran out of popcorn more or less the same time she ran out of enthusiasm. I spent most of the night doing an invisible hula hoop dance and laughing hysterically. The higher dose definitely hit different. My gf said it was getting late and wanted us to go to bed. We ended up in bed and my gf eventually fell asleep. I was still wide awake and unable to stop touching my Adam's apple every time I swallowed.
My gf woke up to me standing on the bed completely naked and continuing to do the invisible hula hoop dance. She grabbed a blanket and left the bedroom. I have no idea how long I was dancing on the bed, but I must have exhausted myself and passed out because I remembered nothing else afterwards other than waking up alone in bed this morning and finding my gf sleeping in the living room.
When my gf opened her eyes, I was standing by with breakfast and an apology, which my gf was grateful for. However, she broke up with me. Last night was "too much frat boy" for her liking. Apparently she expected an "older guy" like me to be more mature. I'm 22. She's 19. What the fuck. Anyway, she left. I really liked her.
TL:DR Got high in front of my gf and she left me.
NectarineOverPeach: If she was ok being your trip sitter and then got upset that you acted like someone tripping, thats on her. What did she think would happen?
Edit: maybe she did not have a good idea about how OP/anyone may act on shrooms. Maybe OP acted in some upsetting or inappropriate way. No way to know at this point.
tantedbutthole: Could be one of those things that you’ve never done and think you’re fine with, then once it happens you realize that you’re not in fact fine with. Probably sounded ok in theory then when it came to it she was not vibing with it. And knowing he likes shrooms and will do this again, I can see why it’s a deal breaker for her.
EmanantFlowOfficial: A pivot off of this. Why did OP even *want* an inexperienced trip sitter. I only want a trip sitter with as much or more experience than me. That way they know how to calm me down should something go sideways
PositiveNegitive: Yeh I don't understand how the trip sitter is asking 'Can we go to bed now?'
Actually miss that's pretty much virtually impossible right now..
EmanantFlowOfficial: Yeah, this is just a big example of picking an appropriate trip sitter. Like if my friends hadn’t known how to handle my 12-16 dose acid freak out, that may have been a *VERY* different night.
SirJumbles: 12-16!?!? Bruh.
What were the visuals like? Did you, in fact, see Jesus?
EmanantFlowOfficial: I don’t have visuals. I’ve taken the cleanest, fluffiest, LSD and my brain just doesn’t work that way sadly. That’s why this happened 😂 I was usually a two dose guy, but this was my “I FINALLY MADE IT INTO COLLEGE, LET’S FUCKING GOOOO” party and I wanted to trip HARD. That day when I picked up my guy had these gel tabs, not the usual paper tabs and I thought nothing of it because he didn’t say anything was different about them. This was my first mistake. When we were getting the party started I took three tabs and started rolling joints for us later when that would become difficult. After a while it became clear the women were not going to be staying at the party and it was just going to be me and my close friends, so I took yet another dose. This was my second mistake. I would later learn that these gel tabs were 3-4 times stronger than my usual paper tabs. 🤷🏼♀️ C’est la vie.
NetworkingJesus: Yeahhhh when I got gel tabs they were 400ug instead of the 100ug my paper tabs usually were. And they were physically smaller so even harder to break up into reasonable doses lol; I ended up cutting them into tiny tiny slivers with a craft knife. What a dick move to not give you a heads up.
EmanantFlowOfficial: Yeah, I didn’t go back to him for a while 😂
NetworkingJesus: I don't blame ya! Hope you've got a better hookup now if you're still into it :)
EmanantFlowOfficial: I have not done LSD in 7-8 years
NetworkingJesus: Kudos for that; I still trip once every other year or so but way lower doses like maybe 25ug and moreso for therapeutic purposes than partying. Haven't bought in years; still got my stash from the party days lol
EmanantFlowOfficial: You know what I’m an idiot I got time marks mixed up, it’s been about 4 years since I did acid, but I was in a relationship I wasn’t entirely sure of and I was afraid something might come out that I didn’t *want* to say to my partner which probably should have been a sign that I needed to end the relationship but 🤷🏼♀️ I actually have been considering another trip since that relationship recently ended…
SirJumbles: Well, this thread came up, and you have been thinking about it. Universe works in it's ways you know.
EmanantFlowOfficial: Yeah, now I just have to find someone I actually trust who knows where to get it. I live in an entirely different part of the country now 😵
NetworkingJesus: Highly recommend getting a test kit from dancesafe if you do come across some again. You'll have to sacrifice a sample to do the test but it's worth it for the peace of mind and to stay safe.
https://dancesafe.org/product/lsd-testing-kit/
EmanantFlowOfficial: Yeah especially with the number of people just putting fentanyl in places it entirely DOESNT belong. which yes is no where but I’ve even heard of a friend of a friend getting fentanyl laced weed. Like who the fuck does that. I’ll be sure to get a test kit and I never buy just a tab or two. I always try to go for the strip +1 deal
NetworkingJesus: Yeah fuck fentanyl and all the asshats putting it in shit. Stay safe out there :)
| 19 | 2,400.789474 | |
1662820556 | 1662864205 | t3_xaqx0i | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by refusing to turn down my music for my 93 year old grandmother
[deleted]
WilliamMinorsWords: You're 31 years old and this is how you treat your grandmother? What's wrong with you?
SigmundFreud: She should kick him in the nuts.
WilliamMinorsWords: For real. Who disrespects grandma like this?
| 4 | 7.25 | |
1662821210 | 1662834459 | t3_xar5xa | t5_2to41 | 169 | [deleted]: TIFU by gossiping about my own daughter
[deleted]
cascade2oblivion: Yeah you fucked up. Dad's are supposed to protect their children. Sorry excuse of a father.
panosprochords: maybe relax a little, buddy
edit: tifu by misreading the original text, didn't realize he actually called his daughter names and didn't fully read the ending. Apologies.
Arlea: For what? What kind of parent calls their own child such names?
panosprochords: I don't think we should hang someone from the neck for making a mistake if they recognize and fix it
Useful_Experience423: ... but he hasn’t fixed it. He apologised to her, but her name in the community is still tarnished at best and that will have all sorts of repercussions, potentially including who she will be able to marry.
panosprochords: I agree. I misread the original text, hadn't realized he actually called his daughter that. My mistake.
Useful_Experience423: No worries.
| 8 | 21.125 | |
1662818728 | 1662837519 | t3_xaq8hj | t5_2to41 | 13 | EstrogenCarcinogen: TIFU By Having My Ex Visit Me
[removed]
Low_Abrocoma_1514: English is not my first language either and I am so confused were you dating multiple people ? Who's them ?
EstrogenCarcinogen: Sorry, I just dated the one person before I left. When I was trying to get over them, I would drunkenly hook up with people but nothing serious
Low_Abrocoma_1514: >When I was trying to get over them
So there's multiple ?
TheFenixxer: Them/they are used to refer to multiple people or to refer to a singular people without stating their gender. For example, If you don’t know someone’s pronouns use “they/them” in order to not assume their pronouns.
Low_Abrocoma_1514: Now I'm even more confused
| 6 | 2.166667 | |
1662824743 | 1662852417 | t3_xasj7s | t5_2to41 | 90 | Educational-Echo-752: TIFU: I listened to my friends
[removed]
No_Love_1353: Ah, to be 15 again…
gotrice5: The things I would change about myself. Screw worrying and just work on yourself. Most if the time, you won't even talk to half if the ppl yiu knew in HS anyways.
Ilien: 15 years later, I talk with 1 person, semi-regularly. And even that is less and less. Same to uni friends.
Life moves on. It's sad sometimes, but also good.
gotrice5: I've only kept 3 irl friends from middle/hs ive made, but we've been busy with our lives so we kinda branch out a bit. It's sad but its life.
Ilien: Yeah. We used to go out every couple weeks. Then it kind of fizzled. I've since moved abroad and if I see that one person once a year it's like a miracle. Ah well.
Guess we'll always have our memories and past, at least!
| 6 | 15 | |
1662826806 | 1662829309 | t3_xatcsb | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by visiting TwoXChromosomes again
[removed]
andrewta: First don’t go to that sub.
Second…
PM_ur_Rump: Yeah, lol. Like, I have my own issues with that sub, but this guy is screaming out far bigger ones with himself.
| 3 | 2 | |
1662826870 | 1662837982 | t3_xatdpl | t5_2to41 | 18 | fuckdontkiss: TIFU by making my parents think I’m gay (I’m 100% straight) by I put a heart emoji on my male friend’s contact name
[removed]
Lined_the_Street: Wow if this is what your parents thinking homosexuality is then they really haven't experienced much in the world LMAOOO
3pinephrin3: Lol and they have the nerve to tell him he doesn’t know anything about the real world
| 3 | 6 | |
1662829049 | 1662851765 | t3_xau7rh | t5_2to41 | 28 | x657: TIFU by telling my younger sister she is adopted t
[removed]
pauliewotsit: That's a horrible thing to do. Why did you feel *you* had to tell her and possibly destroy the family? Your poor sister...I hope your parents make you stew until you come grovelling back begging forgiveness, it's your parents who should be telling her, not you.
FemaleDogEqualsBitch: Did you at all read this, you fucking moron? The parents weren’t going to tell her AT ALL.
pauliewotsit: Also, go fuck yourself, your username checks out, well, the last word does
FemaleDogEqualsBitch: Lmao suck my cock
pauliewotsit: You mean that nub of a mushroom? Need to find it first
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1662831107 | 1662856988 | t3_xav18o | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching something illegal
[deleted]
31spiders: You’re being dramatic. Further if you have a mental disorder this lack of control may mean you need a medication adjusted. Tell them, maybe don’t be real specific just….hey I don’t know what I was thinking but I clicked on *insert whatever kind here* porn. I think I should talk to someone before things get worse.
Maybe even avoid the cause completely just: “hey I think I need to ramp up therapy again” then tell your psychiatrist.
throw4jklfj: Telling somebody who is diagnosed with a mental disorder that they're being dramatic is a bit of a dick move.
Reddit-username_here: Telling someone who has a dick disorder that what they've done is a dick move, is a dick move.
throw4jklfj: Dicking dick dick dick dickignosed dick dick dicktal dick order dick dicking dickatic dick dick dick dick dick dick dick.
bigleafychode: Dicktales! awoo-ooo
| 6 | 4.166667 | |
1662832635 | 1662913249 | t3_xavmzq | t5_2to41 | 965 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my wife about another woman
[deleted]
queensnyatty: Since apparently no one has bothered to tell your generation this:
It’s not virtuous to share everything little thing you are thinking and feeling. It’s actually narcissistic. You should practice the art of being reserved.
RLDSXD: Only chiming in because the “your generation” quip bothered me enough to.
Since no one has bothered to tell *your* (and every previous) generation this: you’re old and wrong. You had less information at your disposal than us AND less time to devote to separating good information from bad information. Just because you got bullied into being repressed and miserable doesn’t mean everyone else has to be. Open dialogue is a good thing and human beings shouldn’t have to be afraid of being human beings just because they were somehow convinced they should conform to some unrealistic standard set by people who knew jack shit about how the world works.
queensnyatty: Your superior wisdom must be why your generation is so self evidently happy-go-lucky, at peace, and content with life.
Definitely you have nothing to learn from always wrong old people.
RLDSXD: Not superior wisdom; I will absolutely concede that wisdom comes with age (generally) as one accumulates a lifetime of trial and error. However, this means every subsequent generation has the previous generations’ trial and error to sift through and begin their own process of refinement with both a substantially higher volume AND quality of information at their disposal.
We’re smarter than our parents, they’re smarter than their parents, etc. Likewise, our children will be smarter than us, their children smarter than them, etc. It wouldn’t make sense any other way, otherwise we’d die out. It’s a consequence and demonstration of natural selection in action. It’s not that we have nothing to learn from you, it’s that we have plenty to learn from you. The issue is that, from a survival standpoint, it becomes favorable for humans to become rigid and narrow minded as time goes on. Being young is a time to be dynamic and grow, but that’s also dangerous. Youth who make it to adulthood realize “My way worked, ergo it must be the proper way” and stop being reckless in favor of being stable.
We’re probably going to be the same way when we get older. Did your parents not admonish you for the ways you rebelled, yet you turned out just fine? Has this historically not been the case with every generation, with every generation doing slightly better than the one that came before?
queensnyatty: Our generation was considered lazy (slackers) and a bit nihilistic.
This was not entirely unfair. The fights against fascism, communism, and domestically racism animated our parents and grandparents. We didn’t have any grand project like that. There was 9/11 in our middle years, but the reaction got messy morally pretty quickly.
We did (and are still doing) some good things, but there’s no guarantee that every generation will be better than the last along any particular axis.
The nazis were grandchildren of people that didn’t commit genocide. Before the Wahhabists starting spreading their poison capitals across the Middle East were urbane places where women were relatively emancipated. Rome collapsed. Etc etc
In any event my biggest critique of what I’m seeing from people coming of age today is not the self righteousness, that’s annoying but I’m a big boy and I can handle it. It’s the misery. Everything is always so serious and a matter of deep moral principles. No one seems to be having any fun. The people that lived through the London Blitz had more joie de vivre. It’s frustrating to witness.
black_rose_99_2021: Super hard to be “fun” when the world is dying, prices are rising, we can’t buy homes or live anywhere stable, salaries don’t leave any disposable income, there’s global recessions and a pandemic that’s just going to rise costs even more.
I’d have a lot more fun if I could buy a house and have a stable income that meets the cost of living with some spare change for said fun.
queensnyatty: See this is what I mean. Are things worse than they were during the London Blitz?
It’s not external conditions that makes for a generation of perpetually angry, anxious, depressed, and morose buzzkills. It’s a cultural thing.
black_rose_99_2021: Everyone I know that survived the Blitz bought houses not long after. You could even do that on a single income. The blitz was a few years and yes it was most likely horrible at the time. But it ended. But the inability of the younger generation to have stability is lasting decades. There doesn’t seem to be an end, it just keeps getting worse. Culture and external conditions are not independent. Unfavourable external conditions that last decades will naturally create a culture around that. But I would bet that if you could make housing affordable and jobs more secure, the “morose buzzkill” culture would disappear.
queensnyatty: Rationing didn’t end until 1954. In Ireland there were multigenerational households living in peat heated one room houses into the 60s.
This is far from the worst of times. Very very far.
black_rose_99_2021: Let’s agree to disagree on your last point. 🙃
ThisIsWhoIAm78: Christ, your generation is melodramatic, and absolutely great at repeating pithy quips they see on Twitter and believing in them wholeheartedly without a shred of introspection or consideration.
If no one can afford food, a house, have disposable income, blah blah, then why are home sales through the roof? Why is consumer purchasing of luxury items through the roof at all time highs? Why is the car AND used car market purchases at all time highs? Why do I see so many posts her on reddit and Instagram of kids and twenty-somethings on vacations, in their cozy mountain getaways, at the local park in the beautiful neighborhood, always on their laptops and with their ipads, taking a gazillion photos for the insta? Or people buying their third video game console for $500, setting up their gaming room, their $3000 PC, and their in-home theater? Or pictures of all the fancy food they make/order/ have delivered?
Just 100 years ago, people were lucky to have running water and electricity in their homes. Many people today STILL don't have that. There was no air conditioning, no television, often no indoor bathroom, no refrigerators, and people cooked over actual open fires.
People in this country literally starved to death before and after the Great Depression, because there was NO social safety net - if you couldn't find a job, you died. The end. People died in gutters all the time.
Besides that, there were no antibiotics, anesthetics, vaccines, or modern medicine - which is why you lost 6 out of 10 kids, moms died in childbirth or from simple infections all the time. People had just fought a world war, and were about to head into a second one that was more brutal and lead into a half century long cold war with the constant threat of nuclear annihilation.
A few hundred years ago, invading armies could just come and wipe out your village, raping and killing anyone they didn't keep as sex slaves. This was a constant threat and part of daily life. You could be dragged away and tortured to death if someone didn't like you and accused you of blasphemy or being a witch.
If you lived in the country, you had better hope that the rain is normal, and that bugs leave your crops alone - or you and your whole family might all starve during the winter when there isn't enough food. One drought, or wildfire, or flood, and you are possibly dead.
Robber barons in the twenties made sure that workers were more oppressed than today, with huge monopolies, lack of basic rights for workers, and zero basic safety protocols. People died on the job all the time, and the business was never considered responsible. Children as young as 3 or 4 were expected to work full time.
You are sitting in a climate controlled room, tapping on a magic rectangle that connects you to all human knowledge, playing games and communicating with humans all over the globe in real time. If you want food, you tap the magic rectangle and a human delivers hot, nutritious food right to your damned door. You have clean running water, electricity, internet, video games, and safety from natural predators, marauding invaders, and basic diseases.
The fact that you can sit there and bitch about how this is the hardest time in history....Jesus christ. Read up on actual history and then get back to me when you need to worry about having molten lead poured down your throat because you misquoted the Bible or "sinned" by blaspheming.
black_rose_99_2021: I mean, I don’t see consumer purchasing of luxury goods or people buying cars and houses on my social media. It’s not within my circle of friends. I’m not sitting in a climate controlled room, can barely afford our electricity or water with the cost of living rises and my salary not keeping up with it, and in any event, my original point on this whole thing was to comment on the fact that we don’t have *fun* because we literally can’t afford it. None of the things you listed sound like *fun* either. But the comment that it’s a cultural thing to be miserable and not external circumstances when I’ve just been listed at a bunch of external circumstances as to why people might be miserable? What’s that about? Do you think people were having *fun* when they were dying of the plague? Why is it so hard to realise that people might not be having *fun* when their lives are unstable - in a different way to 400 years ago, but unstable nonetheless?
queensnyatty: Yes! There were young people in the hundreds of years the bubonic plague raged through Europe having a lot of fun. They took what joys they could. Then, later on, there were the puritans that had it relatively good, but were miserable all the time because god hated them or something. Global warming, income inequality, and institutional racism is the new god hates us. They are the excuses for wallowing in misery and self righteousness.
black_rose_99_2021: Oh ok, so Gen Z are like the Puritans, so it’s not a new thing or a thing only attributed to the younger generation now that they invented to be miserable when things are good.
queensnyatty: Right, which means there’s a playbook to get out of it. You just need a reformation. A movement that says it’s okay to have fun even though there’s climate change.
black_rose_99_2021: Yeah I mean, the reformation we need is for all those stability inducing things I mentioned. But at least we agree that something needs to change in the external factors so we can get out of misery and it’s not just a “culture”.
queensnyatty: It is culture. In 20 years the climate is still going to be fucked but the kids being born now aren’t goo to sit around being miserable about it all the time. They’ll be out there having good fun sex, drinking, smoking, dancing, playing awesome vr games, making actually funny comedy, etc. They’ll still care about the environment but they’ll be reformed and have a different, better, culture than GenZ. They’ll also probably have re-learned the lesson that you don’t need to share every last feeling and thought that comes into your head—and so social media will likely be far less toxic.
You and the other poster have a choice. You can take some old people wisdom and be ahead of the curve or you can be completely sure that you are smarter than any old foggie could ever be and keep doing what you’re doing.
| 18 | 53.611111 | |
1662834427 | 1662848352 | t3_xawd5k | t5_2to41 | 257 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to feed my girlfriend
[removed]
Cultural-Hippo: bruh why are you blaming him for eating the brownie after you said you didn't like it? that's literally normal. and you bringing up an eating disorder and kinda blaming him for it seems extremely toxic. your boyfriend isn't supposed to read your mind, this isn't healthy tbh
octowerewolf: ???? People upvoted this, she didn’t even say she got mad at him, just she was disappointed and she let it go, people are entitled to their feelings it’s their actions that matter and her actions were perfectly reasonable unlike your judgmental backwards basement dwelling ass response
Cultural-Hippo: you guys are brainwashed this straight up isn’t cute she seems like an overly difficult girlfriend that expects her bf to know what she’s thinking and i’m sorry to break it to y’all that’s not how it works it’s not healthy. this whole post sounds quite manipulative to me
| 4 | 64.25 | |
1662835949 | 1662838073 | t3_xawyou | t5_2to41 | 47 | higherthantheceiling: TIFU / I fapped to cbat and it was the greatest experience ever
[removed]
Ok_Tale_933: What the fuck is cbat
Ok_Tale_933: Never mind, I looked it up. what crap
FadieCD9: excuse me, couldn’t find anything about it, can you give me a hint?
Ok_Tale_933: It was a terrible song, atleast that's what popped up when I searched for it.
FadieCD9: found it, thanks
| 6 | 7.833333 | |
1662839315 | 1662873501 | t3_xay9p2 | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing Pearl Harbor and attack the Japanese with little kids
[removed]
johndeerdrew: How is this any different from cowboys and indians?
kappakeats: Cowboys and Indians is also wildly inappropriate.
johndeerdrew: I said nothing of the appropriateness of the game. I just wondered if they were different. Way to jump to conclusions though.
kappakeats: You: How is this different than x?
Me: It's not, it's just as inappropriate.
You: Way to jump to conclusions!
Me: ???
johndeerdrew: Well look at me sitting here eating crow. I'm sorry. I jumped to conclusions. Please forgive me.
| 6 | 3.833333 | |
1662841760 | 1662851706 | t3_xaz7hq | t5_2to41 | 6 | natsuki151: TIFU by shitting at school!
[removed]
HubblePie: I’ll be taking this, thank you.
Suspicious-File-7368: what will u do with it?
KalessinDB: Pasta.
| 4 | 1.5 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.