start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1662844327 | 1662846540 | t3_xb06qp | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to a nude beach in Israel as an uncircumcised guy
[removed]
IndigoMichigan: > GF not a nudist
...
> likes to be naked in public
...
OP, I have a great deal on this bridge I'd like to sell you!
Bubbagumpredditor: There's a difference between nudist and exhibitionist.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1662847767 | 1662849811 | t3_xb1hbf | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by not listening to my partner.
[deleted]
XPOY_Y: Definitely not a TIFU...any guy would react the same way unless you don't really care about your partner.
I think you handled it appropriately, you showed your gf that you cared and informed your friend of his employees inappropriate behavior.
BrolyParagus: I literally finished reading and was like "wait, I'm still waiting for the part where you fucked up?" lol.
| 3 | 2 | |
1662845005 | 1662890352 | t3_xb0ftz | t5_2to41 | 37,826 | Confused_Alpaca937: TIFU by narrating to HR a search through my bag of *toys*
*EDIT*. For those of you asking yes this the same manager than had to sit in on the "crying wine fort" thing and yes same HR lady
NSFW
So I live at my work, really common in my field, and my work have a really strict drug policy, we work with kids who stay on site while we live on site so 100% understandable, lemme start with saying I don't do drugs especially not anywhere near my work.
I live on site for around 10 months of the year, I'm in a completely separate staff block at least 100m from the nearest guests. Being a grown woman and all I have a bag of *toys* and a lot of other stuff
Now recently someone got sacked for smoking weed on site and since then any mention of drugs will get you a full room search (allowed in our contact)
So on my day off today I get a knock at the door, it's HR and my manager (J)
They say they're here for a room search as someone's mentioned my name when taking about ex colleague, cool I haven't got anything to hide.
Until
J pulls out the rucksack from under my bed and the conversation goes as follows.
Me: ermmmmm you might not want to open that bag
J: why what's in it
HR: ARE WE GOING TO FIND SOMETHING IN THERE?!?
me: I mean yes but It isn't drugs in asking you to not open that bag for all our sakes.
J: what stupid shit have you got in here
HR: WE NEED TO LOOK THROUGH EVERYTHING! INCLUDING THIS BAG SO TELL US NOW WHAT ARE WE GOING TO FIND.
Me: If your determined can I at least empty the bag for ermmmm..... sanitary reasons....
J has a mix between sheer disappointment and trying to to cry with laughter as he clocks what I'm talking about
HR: AS LONG AS WE SEE EVERYTHING AND YOU DO IT IN FRONT OF US.
ME: *proceeds to empty an entire rucksack filled with so much shit, like I'm sure I'm keeping ann summed in business at this point,
This poor 60 year old white lady is fucking shook as I'm stood there pulling out all sorts some of which I don't even know what it's for.
At this point it's like a minute of silence so my STUPID FUCKING BRAIN decided to NARRATE the contents of the bag.
Me: ermmm so here's another ermmm dildo..... It's blue... The other is pink.... This is a door jammer it goes in the door..... This is ermmm lube... I'm sure you know what that's for, this one smells of strawberries, this is for two women I think, but I'm not 100% sure I got it in a Xmas calendar.
J IS HOLDING BACK TEARS
HR: Please stop, now, just stop, I think we're done here.....
So yeah can't wait for my end of year review.
FML
TL;DR I for some reason decided to NARRATE the contents of a bag filled with sex toys whilst HR searched my room.
Shibby523: Well, at this point I think you can safely store drugs in the bag and not have to worry about it being searched again.
Confused_Alpaca937: Every cloud and all 😂😂
GWJYonder: To be safe you should store it in your lesbian Christmas lube bottle. "Oh yeah this is from Mary and Jane, real big in the lesbian erotic products community".
spunlikespidermike: I think it's a Christmas lesbian dildo not lube. But I could be wrong.
pwsm50: I read this as, "I think its a Christian lesbian dildo not lube". And now I feel the need to start a line of Christian sex toys.
ill_nino_nl: Nice now I have an image in my head of a cross made out of dildo’s
crunchybitchboy: How about [this](https://www.etsy.com/listing/993403543/holy-crucifix-dildo-14-inch-long-dildo?click_key=fe4d7ae313747144da43a5ab112813206f839033%3A993403543&click_sum=1c3b7d59&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=crucifix+dildo&ref=sr_gallery-1-4&frs=1)
Pl4gu3d0g: That's one way to cum for Jesus.
SlickHand: "I can feel it! I can feel the Lord coming inside me!" - some Christian somewhere probably.
Pl4gu3d0g: For research purposes, I'd like them to get in contact with me.
SlickHand: Just to see the rapture on their faces and place your hands on them as the embodiment of Christ enters their holy of holies, yeah?
Pl4gu3d0g: Yes.
Absolutely not because I would like to finally use this Jesus costume I bought in 2020.
SlickHand: Ohh.
After you watch them get off the first time you could encourage them to do it again. You could call it the second coming.
Pl4gu3d0g: Exactly! It's almost like you're reading my mind!
SlickHand: Communicating through the thoughts of the Jesus dildo. Did you feel the Lord entering you?
Pl4gu3d0g: Only on the sabbath!
SlickHand: Hallelujah! Praise be...
| 18 | 2,101.444444 | |
1662843775 | 1662861945 | t3_xazz8t | t5_2to41 | 4 | Remarkable-Time-3643: TIFU on the hotel elevator
[removed]
AcrobaticSource3: Did you ever get your laundry?
Remarkable-Time-3643: Yes I did, I sat in my room for about an hour
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662853557 | 1662903821 | t3_xb3lq2 | t5_2to41 | 4,754 | Anti-social_______: TIFU by opening my front door and letting my neighbors kid in
Let’s start off with some context I am 15m their kid is 18f. I’m sharing this story cause i don’t know what to do. I’m also pretty sure she has a mental disability of some kind. not a bad thing of course but please read to understand.
It was still summer and I was in my room relaxing playing guitar when my doorbell rang. I went to answer it and this girl appeared at my door she was really short (i’m 5’6 1/2) and I had to physically look down to see her. I had never met this girl before in my life I didn’t know her name or age or anything. She asked if she could stay at my place from the time she arrived (5 6ish pm) until 9-10pm cause her mom and brother weren’t home. I was iffy about that so I never gave a straight answer I just agreed to hang out with her for some time. I let her in which was my first mistake. She wouldn’t stop touching my face and hugging me to where it crossed the line of innocent. It was like every second she had to have a hand on me in some way she even tried to pull my shirt up. She was saying stuff like she’d date me and kept trying to get me to go to her house (ex: her: “wanna popsicle?” me: “no not right now but if you want one i have some in the freezer if you want one” her: “no the popsicles at my house” me: “no, thank you”) It came to the point I was so uncomfortable I lied and said it was my brothers birthday and that we had plans to get her to go home and when I told her that she said stuff like “can I come?”, “I can fit in the trunk i’m really small!”, “please?” eventually I convinced her to go home and I walked her home. Since then she has not left me alone. the day after she just wouldn’t stop calling me. she gave up calling and just started coming to my door instead. it’s been over a month since and she hasn’t stopped. What do I do?
(edit) i forgot to mention she found where my brother works and started working in the same building (different businesses) they can only cross paths if they wanted to and my brother really doesn’t see her anyway cause of the hours he works.
(edit 2) I appreciate all the helpful feedback! i’m gonna try to get in contact with her parents i’m just not sure how cause no matter how i approach conversation with the girl she’s gonna take it as an invitation and is just gonna be up my arse more. I’ll keep you guys updated!
TL;DR: My neighbors kid came to my door one day and hasn’t stopped since even tho we asked her to.
IdiotThatReads: Omg no, this is in no way okay on her part, tell your legal guardian or hers and stay away from her, possibly ask her to stop contacting you?
Anti-social_______: i don’t have any parents but i told my brother and grandma and my brother did asked her to stop but still she continues to show up and she even got a job where my brother works now.
XXX_BrokenAss123_XXX: Cant the cops do somethin with that sounds pretty illegal to me
Anti-social_______: last thing i want is to bring in party’s that don’t need to be involved. i wanna be able to resolve everything without adding people like counselors from school and the police. i just need to figure out a way to get a hold of her parent to make them aware of what she’s been doing while they’ve been at work
All_names_taken-fuck: You and your grandmother go to her house and speak with her parents and tell them what’s happening.
Anti-social_______: i was hoping to get their phone number and talk that way cause my grandma almost never leave the house unless it’s for a doctors appointment, i just need to figure out how to get her parents phone number
PJVJR: If you know her name (if not your brother works with her and should be able to get it) look her up on Facebook and see if her parents have accounts as well.
Anti-social_______: i only know her first name
Leethawk: If she works with your brother then he should be able to find out.
Anti-social_______: my fault on the wording cause it came across wrong, they work in the same building but different businesses so they really don’t cross paths unless my brother goes into the business she works at.
| 11 | 432.181818 | |
1662854612 | 1665325374 | t3_xb3ytu | t5_2to41 | 1,340 | Sudden-Particular-3: TIFU by calling my brother about a lost ring.
This happened this afternoon, it's nighttime now, and I'm still fucking laughing about it.
So, ever since my siblings and I were little, I was the one that could lose an elephant in a prairie. I was unimaginably good at losing stuff, and then needing my brother's help to find them. Luckily, my older brother (I'm the second oldest, out of four boys) could *always* find anything I'd lost.
I mean, *always*. Even if all three of us were searching, we'd never find whatever it was that I'd lost until my oldest brother got involved. I ended up gaining some notoriety as the guy who could lose his own head one day, and my brother earned the reputation of the family's Finder Of Things(™).
Well, now, we've all moved out, my oldest brother is fresh out of university and living across the country, while the other three of us have sprawled throughout the country (but none outside) for our respective universities. Still, we maintain daily contact through texting and calling.
Today, I lost my ring. It was a gift to me from my girlfriend, and very dear to me, so I was expectedly distressed about it. I turned the world upside down, my girlfriend was calling up friends whom I'd visited in the morning to see if I'd left it there, it was overall an awful situation. I'd called my mum to whine at her about it like the mama's boy I am, and I was frankly on the verge of tears.
After all other ways had proven fruitless, I decided to relieve the pressure by calling my oldest brother in jest, to ask him if he could find my ring.
That I did. I called him, he answered. I told him my problem, we laughed a little. Then he pointed out that I had been cooking a lot after I'd gotten back from my visit (he knew, because I like to call with him when I'm cooking to fight boredom), and said that maybe it'd fallen in the sink or in the first drawer on my kitchen cupboard, since that's where I keep my cutlery.
The sly bastard was right. I checked in my drawer, and ~~alas~~ behold! My ring. He laughed his ass off, almost dropped his phone, I sulked in my self-pity and accused him of sorcery, I thanked him and we hang up. Later, I get a call from my other brother, the third youngest, during which he makes fun of me for not being able to find a ring that my brother found from across the country.
We share a laugh, I tell him to go fuck himself (affectionately, of course), and we hang up. I thought nothing of the interaction. My older brother had probably told him during their daily catch-up.
That is, until the fourth brother called.
My youngest brother advised that, if I looked in the second drawer, I might very well find that chest of gold that grandpa hid (a running joke in my family). We laughed together, I told him to go fuck himself, it was all good. I was starting to suspect that my oldest brother was making a bit of a fool of me to the family, but it was funny, and it was only brotherly banter, after all.
That is, until my mum called.
Now, fun fact about my mother; she lost her left ring finger in an accident. And, of course, she told me to look in the first drawer of my kitchen cupboard, maybe I'd find it there. I couldn't tell my mother to fuck off, I'm a good son, but I approximated. Still, it was just mum, I thought.
That is, until my dad called.
Same deal; "haha, you lost your ring, and your brother found it from across the country, you moron." My dad said I might as well ask my brother where my brain is, he oughta find it, sincez clearly, it was missing from my skull. We laughed, I wondered to myself if, maybe, dad would be the last to call about this, and we hang up.
Okay, to make a long story short, he was fucking **Not The Last** BY FAR. I could sit here numbering the family members, friends, acquaintances and common contacts that called for days. When the last person called (my aunt, my dad's sister), thus started the texts.
Now, I have every single family member laughing at me collectively in a groupchat, and I have a very, very big family. My girlfriend has been added to said groupchat by my brother, and up until an hour ago she was laughing her tits off at my dad's (admittedly hilarious) remarks about the whereabouts of my brain.
I don't think I'll ever live this down. Please help me.
**TL;DR I lost my ring, called my brother, who currently lives across the country from me, and he guessed correctly where it was. Now the entire family is making fun of me in a collective groupchat, and I'm regretting my life choices.**
50R14: Sounds like you have a dope family!
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d like to hear about other lost and found stories!
Sudden-Particular-3: Oh, Gods, I have so many. None nearly as funny as this one, but I could probably write a novel with all the things my brother's helped me find.
Affectionate_Star_43: Late to the party, but I just had a similar one last week. Husband calls panicking because he's tearing our place and his car apart looking for his wedding ring.
Me: Is it where I found it last time, by the toilet? The cat might have pushed it off the counter again.
Him: Let me see...no.
We'll guess what else is next to the counter...the garbage can. Found it 5 minutes after I got home. He was gonna throw it away!!!!
Sudden-Particular-3: We're kindred souls, your husband and I. Brothers in losing stuff.
| 5 | 268 | |
1662859971 | 1662861584 | t3_xb5rle | t5_2to41 | 91 | JC1812: TIFU Episode 61! Let’s hear em fuck ups and stories! 🙂👀
HoAdanac: This is a black hole of cringe
UnseenTimeMachine: I just fell into it hahahahaha its like all the people I feared are on reddit really are hahahahaha
-Sean_Gotti-: What the fuck are with these peoples voices?
u/CircusMonke wtf this is a brag not a fuck up
| 4 | 22.75 | |
1662866023 | 1662885243 | t3_xb7qvc | t5_2to41 | 47 | Throwaway_Stowaway99: TIFU by forgetting to lock to bathroom door
Throwaway because I don't want this on my main. Anyway, this wasn't actually today (on reason is because this happened to me more than once on different days) but one day I went to the bathroom to take a shit and during the middle of it my great aunt opens the bathroom door because I forgot to lock it and she was able to see my privates a tiny bit but not a lot because my hand was covering most of it and my aunt just closed the door and left. Then the other time this happened I was finishing janking off and when I was wiping the stuff off my dick when my great aunt yet again opens the bathroom door thinking it was unoccupied since I forgot to lock it again but this time my aunt was able to see more, she could see my privates and the stuff I was wiping off of them and then my aunt closed the door again probably way more disgusted than last time and we never spoke of what happened ever since..
TL;DR
I forgot to lock the bathroom door twice and both times my great aunt went in thinking the room was unoccupied and saw me pooping and finishing janking off
Bubbagumpredditor: Maybe she'll learn to knock
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Who knocks before using the bathroom? That would be so tedious.
gabsaur: I usually do if the door is closed, since it being open/ajar is usually the sign that it's unoccupied and I don't want to be waddling around holding a wee in when it turns out the bathroom was never occupied.
This is mostly since I walked into the bathroom in a friends house to find him pooping when I was a teen, and I don't want to experience that again 😂
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1662869006 | 1662870154 | t3_xb8p28 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Fearless-Regular-662: TIFU By sharing ghost story’s with my best friend
[removed]
SirSamuelDaBean: How old are you....
Fearless-Regular-662: 13 why
SirSamuelDaBean: Sounds about right, whenever you look back towards that moment in the future, try not to cringe too much.
Fearless-Regular-662: Ok?
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1662870763 | 1662901011 | t3_xb98ke | t5_2to41 | 23 | prn790: TIFU by fighting when I don't know how
I got my ass kicked at a friends party last night and had everyone see
So I'm a 15f and I was at a party last night at one of my friends houses for her birthday. When I got to the party there was about 20 or so people. I just got a drink and was going around finding people I knew.
As the night was going on, I was hanging with a friend of mine and she was showing me pics of a vacation she went on. I couldn't really hear her that good because there was super loud music playing.
I noticed this girl that I didn't know was sitting behind me controlling the speakers and music. After a few minutes, I turned around and asked if she could turn it down cause I'm trying to talk to someone. She just looked at me and laughed, saying no I'm not.
She told me to leave if it was annoying me, then she punched me in my stomach. I don't really know how to fight and am smaller, but I just went with it anyway and she kept hitting me a few more times and then I got told to leave the party.
TL;DR: I got into a fight when I'm smaller and don't know how to fight. Got hit in my mouth a few times, bloody mouth and kicked out
Kearfyob: There's 3 sides to every story. I wonder what the other girls account is. Sorry you were injured but I always wonder what really happened when I read stories like this on Reddit.
Flossthief: "told this bitch to leave if she didn't like my mix; then I punched her in the stomach and beat her ass"
I don't think op is a bitch but I feel like that's how women who fight talk about other girls
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1662876377 | 1662944332 | t3_xbau1o | t5_2to41 | 15,607 | Anon_in_paradise: TIFU by having sexy time in paradise
Alt account for reasons… actual fuck up happened yesterday…
So my wife and I are currently in Bali at a cliff-side, 5 star resort in Nusa Dua (that’s enough details).
We do not get out much as a couple, with working like crazy and have kids. However, we decided to book a trip to Bali and decided to leave the kids with family. First adult vacation since our honeymoon!
We went all out in this trip, spent way more than we normally would on a vacation. We got a penthouse suite on the top of a cliff. It has its own infinity pool and completely private. Since we’re on top of a cliff, overlooking the ocean, we have ultimate privacy.
My wife and I are fairly reserved individuals and not too adventurous in “certain areas.” Well, we took this opportunity of having a private outdoor pool and ultimate privacy to explore the more “adventurous” side of our marital life…
It was really fun and exciting, that is until I looked up and saw a group of paragliders slowly passing over our heads (the sit-down kinds where a pro leads and your just a passenger).
Now, we are both probably the whitest people you’ve ever seen, so I’m sure we looked like a couple of reflective, shaved yetis bouncing sunlight in their direction, like survivors on a deserted island trying to wave down a passing airplane.
We both panic as we notice them circling back around to get a better view. In her panic, my wife tries to submerge her whole body underwater, but horizontally and face-up. Giving the passerby’s a full view of her pasty-white goodness. I immediately tell her to stand in the water, but it’s too late, they’ve seen it all.
Now every time we see paragliders floating around, my wife relives this memory and dies a bit of embarrassment… if you were paragliding yesterday in Nusa Dua and saw a couple of white people going at it, I hope you enjoyed your views!
Tl;dr: wife and I got caught being adventurous in our cliff-side resort suite by a group of paragliders, then my wife panicked and showed them all her goods…
JustSomeUsername99: Someone you've never met and will never meet in your lifetime. They have no idea who you are. Who cares!!! Get back to fucking!
VaranTavers: This message was written from a paraglider.
iPod3G: “Continue swimming naked. Aww, come,on!”
/ChiefWiggum
Zyker: Alright, we'll open fire.
Bean_Juice_Brew: I just imagined the paragliders furiously masturbating while flying overhead
Dusty-old-bones: "I think a bird just shit on me."
"Don't think that was a bird..."
"Damn It! It's the Pervert paragliders again!!"
Arena-Grenade: Who else but quagmire?
Racing_Reporter: Giggity-giggity-gigigigigi-giggity.
Arena-Grenade: Hmm..Thats pretty short \s
Racing_Reporter: With Quagmire you'll never get the short end of the stick!
| 11 | 1,418.818182 | |
1662875419 | 1662896319 | t3_xbakh3 | t5_2to41 | 1,050 | [deleted]: tifu by miscalculating
[deleted]
ToanGreenlow: I took a calculated risk... But man am I bad at math.
lurrur: Happy mutual cake day!
ToanGreenlow: Gasp! Reddit sibling! How long you been here for? Six years for me now.
Also happy cakeday!
(Fun fact, I only just now realized my actual birthday is in 11 days)
lurrur: Four years for me!
Happy almost birthday, haha!
ToanGreenlow: I'm an OLDER Reddit sibling! 😆
Thanks!
| 6 | 175 | |
1662879183 | 1662882162 | t3_xbbm8l | t5_2to41 | 17 | gentleman_but_nasty: TIFU on my birthday when I blacked out for split second like something entered or exited my body
[removed]
Atrejuuu: ok so in my youth this happened to me and some other friends as well, for some more than others. its nothing you wont survive, the falling is the most dangerous part. sitting down, fresh air and water was a good call, though a sugary drink helps too. but as they all say here still see a doctor for bloodwork. its malnourishment in some sort, youre missing something or youre having low blood pressure which combined with cigsrettes, alc and weed and not eating well made this happen
gentleman_but_nasty: How old are you? How often did you black out? Do you have any habits?
Atrejuuu: it was between 14 and 19 for most of us, though it can happen when youre older as well (26ish now). habits well yeah, smoking shit tons of weed, drinking not regularly, normal smoking a lot, and not eating the whole day because all money spent on weed and only eating when you came home in the evening and raid the refrigerator. all healthy and sporty people
gentleman_but_nasty: Did you ever feel dizzy now?
Atrejuuu: no, but ive changed those habits quite harshly^^ not smoking anything anymore (btw maybe younjust inhaled too much as well, if youre hitting bongs or take big puffs theres not much air coming into your lungs).
though drinking way too much and eating more than i should, there are problems coming with that, but no fainting^^
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1662881016 | 1662906246 | t3_xbc4ft | t5_2to41 | 97 | AfghanStreetRat: TIFU by going to eat Chinese Hot Pot right after having food poisoning
[removed]
meloneohnekerne: At least you know how to use pads now xD
SerentityM3ow: Not nearly as hilarious as sticking them straight onto your ass! Lol
hogtiedcantalope: Less leakage
To be fair they don't show this part in pad commercials on tv
| 4 | 24.25 | |
1662887533 | 1662983203 | t3_xbdvlr | t5_2to41 | 50 | ClintBarton7: TIFU by falling for a woman for 1,5 months, who was just looking for friends
Never written here before, so we’ll see how it goes. Sorry for the long text, TL;DR at the end. Please excuse my punctuation skills.
I (25M) have never been in a relationship before. Tried a few times, but always fell in love with friends or people who just weren’t interested (fair enough, no one has to date me, just saying that I tried and failed). I tried online dating in 2020 and we all know how that year went.
Since this year mostly sucked (I am kind of successful at work, but my personal life has been pretty messy), I decided to try again. Made a decent profile with nice pictures and earnest, nerdy comments on 3 apps (for anyone interested, I am ok-looking, thin and very nerdy).
This time it actually worked. I matched with several women (several catfishes from Indonesia, but also several real women) and wrote with them just to get used to online dating. Most wouldn’t answer after a while (I try to be very sweet, interested and funny, but I can’t really flirt) but I tried to see it as writing experience and never get my hopes too high.
That is until I met HER (19F). We matched and clicked instantly. Both very nerdy (Star Wars, Marvel, HP) and started writing A LOT! I have never exchanged that many messages with anyone. We met once and instantly made plans. I have a list with about 10 things we were planning on doing. And although I tried to remain realistic, I started falling for her (I wasn't in love, but I could picture us very well getting there). We just had toooo much in common (stuff we like, our birthdays are one day apart, we even pose the same way in pictures).
Even while we were both travelling, we exchanged a batch of texts, pictures and videos in the morning and evening (mostly talks about our days and what I thought was light flirting). Although we’re both very busy (she’s about to graduate and prepares her applications at very prestigious universities and I have two jobs and study in an exciting but soul sucking industry), after a month of not being in the same city, we instantly met again. On Wednesday we went to a museum and I brought her to a buddy’s movie premiere which we both enjoyed. As I have never been in a relationship and never been on more than two dates with the same person, I was starting to get anxious. Should I have put my arm around her during the film?
I didn’t, but thought that I’d have the chance on Saturday. I planned on showing her a beautiful church ruin, that while being in the city centre, is pretty unknown, followed by showing her a couple of sights and tell fun facts about them, followed by going to the Lego store and building two minifigs that should represent us. This might not sound like the most exciting “date” but I thought it would be perfect for us. We both like culture, history and she enjoys listening to my fun facts (of which I have many).
The Lego store visit was great as well. We looked at beautiful sets and built figures. Me, a nerdy dude with snowboard and wand (her addition) and her a pirate captain with a very scary popsicle. We laughed, had a lot of fun and made plans to go to the cinema today. I walked her to her subway, even making a small detour to stay with her, and when I saw that her train was to arrive in two minutes, I asked if it would be ok to hold hands.
She seemed a bit startled, but agreed, so we sat down and waited. It was kind of awkward. It had taken a lot of courage to ask and although she agreed on holding hands, she didn’t seem to be quite into it. The train arrived, we hugged (good hug though) and she left.
I remained with a feeling that I had messed up.
I went home, when I received a couple of links from her (Star Wars trailers that were released yesterday) followed by a longer message in which she explained that she wasn’t looking for a boyfriend right now, since she had a lot on her plate and had to focus on that. She would still like to remain friends and go to the movies today. I apologised for making things awkward by holding hands and asked if I should have done things differently. She answered that she liked me and I was being sweet and hadn’t done anything wrong, but couldn’t tell if it would have worked out between us in less busy times.
All in all she was very sweet about it (I have been told in much more hurtful ways that I am not boyfriend material) and I don't blame her at all. But I am incredibly mad at myself. I feel like such a fool, exchanging thousands of texts, hundred of pictures and gifs, and not even noticing that the woman I was talking to, was just looking for a friend. (To be fair, her profile said she was looking for friends and long-term relationships. I just never thought about the former category or clarifying what I was interested in).
And now I am just sitting around in self-loathing thinking that, if the most intense dating and flirting with a woman I have ever had, turned out to be mostly one-sided, that it’s never going to work out finding a girlfriend. To be clear, I am not an incel, nobody has to like me and I do have close friends from both genders, which is what is so irritating to me. I have no problem getting people to like me, but I just can't seem to bring it to the next level.
I am just unsure how I am ever supposed to find a relationship and feel so depressed now, which sucks, because I used to be so happy every time her name lit up on my screen these last few weeks.
TL;DR: Met a girl online, we were perfect matches in several categories, wrote for 1,5 months, had three dates, I realised I was falling for her, while she was just looking for a friend, which I failed to notice. I feel like a fool now.
somethingquirky-01: I'm sorry you've been hurt. You sound like a decent person and I hope the right person comes into your life soon.
I really appreciate that you asked to hold her hand and that you don't feel entitled to a woman. That shows great maturity and self-respect.
What many women want is for a man to be self-sufficient; not just doing the housework, but financially, sexually, and emotionally. A whole person with his own interests, drive and who can take care of himself so that she is a complement to his life, not a substitute for inadequacies. That creates a much more wholesome, meaningful relationship because the two support each other. So many women will find this attractive.
Good luck to you.
Loempiamole: Sexually self-sufficient? Does this mean what I think it means?
hallelujajaja: Yes you're right, it means someone who isn't looking to date just out of sexual frustration
Figgy20000: If someone doesn't want to have sex with you after a month they'll never want to have sex with you more than once a month. If you care about physical affection whatsoever that's a huge red flag and you need to get out of there way in advance. Lesson you should learn in life sooner rather than later, avoid people like this like the plague. I'm super happy that OP took his shot sooner rather than later, this girl might be fun to be around but clearly isn't long term relationship material.
hallelujajaja: That's just not true, people don't jump onto the sex wagon straight away for many reasons then they do once they've established a relationship.
But yeah a girl who is "fun to be around" can be a friend too, not everyone wants to be in a relationship?
Figgy20000: If you're on a dating website isn't it heavily implied you're looking for a relationship? You shouldn't lead a guy on for 2 months before letting him know what you're really looking for, which is just a friend.
Then again he also shouldn't have waited 2 months to tell her what he's looking for as well.
| 7 | 7.142857 | |
1662895972 | 1662931008 | t3_xbg8kb | t5_2to41 | 835 | kyiswerldy_: TIFU by potentially hurting my cat.
[removed]
slyfoxie: Aww he'll be fine. He's just upset.
Used-Ad8789: The cat will be fine. I don't know about OP tho
PheonixGalaxy: OP probably will never emotionally recover from this
| 4 | 208.75 | |
1662897467 | 1662961104 | t3_xbgoa1 | t5_2to41 | 27,160 | throway-ra-advice1: TIFU by sending my girlfriend a dank meme about 9/11
English isn't my first language so please don't roast me if I make any grammatical mistakes. I'm 25 F and my girlfriend is 23.
Today,I was scrolling on Reddit after I woke up. I saw this dank meme saying something like "when you're chilling in the World Trade Center and you get airplane wifi". Now normally I make a lot of s*icide jokes or depression jokes due to the fact I'm depressed and I can relate to it, but I wouldn't make jokes about such tragedies. So I save the meme and send it to my girlfriend, with the captain "eh this is a bit too much".
This is where things started going downhill. I had to use the bathroom quickly and when I got back, she send me two voice messages, one a few seconds longer than the other one, but the point she was trying to make was the same: "well the idea with the planes was fake anyway sooo". I write back only a bunch of question marks. She writes back, no it's fake. I start thinking it's a bad joke or something so I send back more questions marks. More voice messages come from her, how architects and engineers all say it's impossible and there was something else going on, most likely "bombs detonating" in the towers and all that.
I genuinely don't know how to respond to all this. She's really smart and doesn't believe in any conspiracy theories, she's vaccinated etc. Never gave me any reason to suspect she'd think something like that.
Tl:dr send my girlfriend a dank meme about 9/11 and she's convinced it's "fake" that a plane could go through a building and there's "something else" going on.
MoobyTheGoldenSock: > doesn’t believe in any conspiracy theories
I’m betting she believes in at least one.
MyActualNameIsCarl: Jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams. /s
JSONWebbSpaceTokens: well it doesn't, but what it is *more than capable enough* of doing is making them bend like wet spaghetti.
SlickBlackCadillac: Which makes sense for all the steel above the fires failing. But not all the steel below the fires. Cold and strong.
SethB98: With oh, just tons of extra unsupported weight dropping in on it. Thats kinda really simple physics at that point.
The steel affected by heat is weakened, the rest of the structure cant make up the difference considering it still weighs just as much, with the extra weight of a plane shoved on top for good measure. Once the top, with the least support, falls in then all that weight cascades downward, which you can see fairly clearly in the videos of them collapsing. Its the exact same way the building would fail from any structural inadequacy at that height.
They didnt just poof away, its a very specific and visually striking process. Morbid to watch, but the videos are useful.
SlickBlackCadillac: The rest of the structure doesn't weigh just as much. You cannot tell from looking at the buildings from the outside, but they are actually built like inverted pyramids. The steel on the lower floors is way thicker and thin out as you move towards the top. So the top section is the lightest section by far.
Also consider the fact that the buildings were not chock full of people, 200 pound bodies. These buildings were more that strong enough to support the top section failing. Something else was in play.
SethB98: You can believe that all you want, but thinner steel at the top would also have a hard time supporting the extra weight of the entire plane AND the weight above it being supported by the damaged beams. If ANYTHING in that system fails, all of the unsupported weight will build on itself. If you think there's any point in that building that can genuinely and safely support its own weight up in the air without the entire system working correctly, you're just incorrect.
Sky scrapers are one of the most ridiculous feats of human engineering, and they need a truly incredible amount of math, science, and infrastructure to be well maintained just to stand in perfect condition. If we stopped maintaining them, theyd be the first buildings to fail in a modern city. Its a very fragile structure, in comparison to a traditional building, and pretending it would support itself just aint it. They're meant to be pretty shows of wealth, not defensive installations.
Removing several floors worth of supporting structure in any building and expecting it to stand freely under its own weight is needlessly hopeful, to believe a skyscraper could do so is beyond silly and shows a distinct misunderstanding of architecture.
-TL'DR if actually understanding how that went down isnt important to you and youd prefer physical evidence-
All of that aside, you can still watch the video and clearly watch it collapsing downward on itself from the top, and see the dust and debris rolling over as each floor gives in turn going downward, as opposed to the full structure failing at once from deliberate structural failures below. There is not a conspiracy theory available that better explains that than just taking Occam's Razor and saying a fucking plane hit the building and damaged its internal support.
SlickBlackCadillac: Occams razor is interesting. It is just a philosophical tool. And Occams razor doesn't apply if the proposed simplest explanation isn't adequate. Which it is not.
That said also, anyone planning a conspriacy theory would use apply Occams Razor BEFORE you get to. They would plan for it to look like the simplest explanation. I.e. one shooter killed JFK.
SethB98: Mate, if youve convinced yourself of all this, far be it from me to change your mind.
SlickBlackCadillac: Yeah I know today is 9/11 so it is on everyone's minds, but I think of 9/11 and research it constantly all year and every year. I am super interested in it and seeking the truth.
14corbinh: Kinda sad that you do all that research and still cant understand the simplest amount of physics surrounding the attack
SlickBlackCadillac: What am I missing? That planes hitting high on 2 sky scrapers brought them completely down? and WTC 7 as well?
14corbinh: Stack dominoes on top of each other and knock just the top one down and tell me what happens
diegofloyd: That's not even close to being similar.
SlickBlackCadillac: I agree. I am glad he at least tried to answer. A lot of times people will throw a line out like "you don't understand the physics. Clearly". Then you challenge them to explain it and they respond by insulting my character and/or intelligence (ad hominem attack). People like this are not good debaters or seekers of truth. I don't give two damns about reddit "karma" because I understand that both super idiotic comments and super genius, ahead of their time comments are fringe and therefore unpopular. I am pretty confident which end I find myself on given my actual lived and real life experience.
| 16 | 1,697.5 | |
1662901404 | 1663381206 | t3_xbi107 | t5_2to41 | 455 | thowaway12345676: TIFU for having sex for the first time
TIFU for having sex for the first time and she was only on the pill.
I need to get this off my chest. Two days ago I met a pretty girl on the train and then bumped into her yesterday and we hit it off. One thing led to another and we ended up back at my place. I didn't have a condom on me and she told me that she was on the pill and that it was fine. At the time it made sense but later on I realised that I should definitely have been wearing a condom. I didn't go as far as to c\*m inside her but I'm still scared shitless of the outcome. Do I have to worry that she might get pregnant? I've read the information online and it says that there's a really low change but not 0. I don't know how I managed to fuck this up so badly but I don't know who to turn to about this. Is there anything I can do to calm my nerves a little bit? Does anyone have any experiences that can relate to this at all?
TL;DR I had sex for the first time and she was only on the pill. I didn't c\*m but I'm worried about the consequences
Edit: I've asked her to go and get a plan b pill just to be 100% sure everything is ok. I'll go and get tested in a few weeks to be sure of nothing
periperichipstogo: …..maaaybe schedule a drs visit in a couple weeks for STI screening and don’t raw dog girls you just met on the train
hogtiedcantalope: Better than those bus floosies
kochameh2: i'm more partial to train tramps myself
MusicOwl: I’m only going with car chicks
JejuneEsculenta: Board Betties are where it's at...
Forever-Learning-: I exclusively fuck women on planes.
clush005: I only fuck Floosies on Ferries 🤷♂️
JejuneEsculenta: Also, don't forget the ever hawt Babes on Bikes...
AdSafe5841: Boobies on bridges
Lined_the_Street: Hot balloon hotties
| 11 | 41.363636 | |
1662906546 | 1662936254 | t3_xbjzih | t5_2to41 | 14 | Timely_Banana_1901: TIFU by letting people influence me
So I'll start of introducing myself I am just your normal 14 year old teenager, and sorry for my bad English.
I live in Belgium in an rather small city.
My family was never good with money with us almost ending homeless multiple times.
My mom and dad were divorced right after my birth, and they never came along after.
My dad is a heavy alcoholic and smoker same for my mom she is a alcoholic but not as bad as my dad.
I have a brother 17m who sadly does weed.
From the age of 5-9 I was a bully until I moved cities.
I am a introvert so making friends on my new school was hard so I was a target for bullies.
It got pretty bad with me ending up with sh (self harm) and a depression at the age of 11 which led into 2 years of therapy.
When I went to secondary school it ended I had a little friend group with two 13m and two 12f and myself then 13m.
The fairy-tale was short lived as I went to a other school.
And it really went down when three friends I trusted peer pressured me too break into our old school with them.
The school I am in right now has a pretty bad reputation, because most of the people there do weed and that's illegal in Belgium.
And the bad influence there got me I don't do weed but I turned into a complete asshole.
I talked bad about one of the 12f that we will name Caro to the other 12f Romy.
I saw Romy yesterday and I was a complete asshole against here saying that she had to "shut the f up" and more.
I liked Romy and I have told her that multiple times and got friend zoned multiple times.
Today I gave her bottle back that I accidentally took with me as an symbol of the end of our friendship, and because of the situating I turned back to sh (self harm)
I am ashamed of myself I'm crying while typing this because I am disgusting of myself.
Little more info: I'm very easy to manipulate and I trust people way too soon before I really get to know them I can't handle too much pressure so peer pressuring is an easy way too make me do things.
TL;DR basically me being a shit friend because of a bad school that made my friend hate me.
KarmaInFlow: Youre 14. Just get really really good at math or coding. In 10 years you will have a good job, make lots of money, and be independent. You can then get away from toxic people, surround yourself with good friends, and women will want you no matter how doofy you look because you're stable.
This is the way.
murjo06: I’m a programmer. I make what is considered a lot of money. I have good friends. I don’t have a girlfriend :(
KarmaInFlow: I forgot to mention you have to find a way to let the gold diggers know you have money. Easiest way is buying lots of overpriced drinks for people at bars.
murjo06: Ok to be fair I don’t have a girlfriend, but I really like this girl, we’re currently friends. I’m planning to ask her out sometime soon. But, if I could choose between being single and having a gold digger gf, I’d stay single. It’s better to not have a relationship at all than to have a forced one, and especially so if the other person doesn’t love you. I just don’t work that way. Some people do and quite frankly I don’t care. Do what you think is right
KarmaInFlow: I agree bud. Fuck gold diggers. Some people dont care.
Suprblakhawk: >Fuck gold diggers.
The only thing gold diggers are useful for.
| 7 | 2 | |
1662907336 | 1662959022 | t3_xbkb5l | t5_2to41 | 301 | BUMBUMM11: TIFU By pushing my stepdad
Let's start off with some context. Me(15m) have been living with my mom(33), my half-brother(5m), and my stepdad (40m) for the past 5 years. During these 5 years, I spent almost every day getting yelled at, called names, and criticized. I never understood why I got this treatment. I've done things I'm asked to do most of the time. I've never had a bad attitude until recently, and I've always done well in school. Somedays I just feel like I can never do anything right and I feel useless sometimes. He doesn't do anything besides eat sleep and scream, and then he acts like he does everything in the house. He and my mom have gotten into many arguments about commitments to our family and to their relationship and that usually snaps him back to reality for a couple of days but then he goes back to how he was before. The worst part is that he needs my mom to take care of him financially and take care of his own son. I found myself taking every chance I got to not be home even if it was just for one day. I love my mom and my brother a lot and it hurts seeing them being treated this way. My mom works long hours and still does all the cooking and cleaning. I do whatever I can to help but it still doesn't change the way my stepdad treats her. In more recent times I find myself avoiding and resenting him, and I hate myself for it. Not because I care about him it's because I've never wanted to hate anyone before as much as this. I find myself questioning if I would even care if he dropped dead at this moment. In more recent times. My stepdad had gotten really sick to the point of kidney failure giving him less than 5 years to live. My mom has been having to drive him to the hospital and back. His mood has changed a little bit and he acts less like a dickhead and more like a respectable human being, but I can't help but think he acts like this because he knows my mom is the only person who will take care of him. We ended up moving into his dad's house and we now live with my step-grandpa. We've been living here for about a month and stuff seemed to be doing fine until around the last week of august were he could not get off my ass. Just then I thought we were finally an ok family he started passively calling me names. saying things like "why are you even here" or "you're so useless". He never says it to my face but he says it whenever I'm around him. This is when I reached my boiling point. I thought moving into a new home would mean the start of a new beginning, I thought him getting sick would mean a change in his heart. But no deep down he's still the same person he was before. Ive reached my boiling point and I've started ignoring him, and whenever he would start yelling at me I would talk back. I realized that he never cared or liked me. So why should I? I don't care if he's sick. If he's gonna treat me like shit why should I be expected to care about him or whatever he says or does? I know I'm in the wrong for acting this but I just stopped caring about him he's a piece of shit. And then we had a big argument. I was in the middle of my game and my mom told me to go to bed. We respectfully agreed that I would go to bed after this match. It was the weekend so I was staying up a little later than usual. Not even 5 minutes later my stepdad practically yelled at me to get off the game and I told him that my mom and I agreed that I would go to sleep after the match. He proceeds to unplug the power cord to my PC and begins yelling at me about how I don't do anything. I begin to tell him that he treats everyone like garbage and I don't have to listen to him because he's a stranger to me. This is when he got physical. I'm usually a calm person when unprovoked and I never resort to violence after but today was different. he proceeded to put his hands around my neck so I pushed him back causing him to fall down. He tried again and the same thing happened. I screamed, "Fuck you, you piece of shit, your a dick head and a hypocrite". This caused my mom to intervene asking what happened. Unfortunately, before I could explain my stepdad told us to leave and said he doesn't want me there which made me laugh. I was laughing because I know he needs us he's financially unstable and he can't work or takes care of his kid. Anyway, a couple of days after and I'm starting to realize that I just set my mom back 10 steps. And I got a really bad scolding and a reality check. My mom says we might be able to go back and even if we were she might not be able to bring herself to. I can't help but think about how stupid I was to be rebellious and to stand up for myself. As of right now, my mom
and I are living at my cousin's house, my brother at my aunt my stepdad at his dad's. I feel like I should apologize for my step dad but I don't know if I can be genuine enough if I'm being honest. I don't feel remorse about what I did to my stepdad. Only for what I did to my mom and how I've made hers and my life worse.
TL;DR I was emotionally abused by my step dad and I decided to stand up for myself. which resulted in my mom and I getting kicked out.
Edit#1 I didn't have many chores to do except clean up after myself which I did for the most part. I did forget sometimes but it wasn't anything big. Usually, you have generic items you tend to forget about while watching tv or something like an empty cup or your binder.
Edit#2 I would be criticized for not doing things fast enough. right away or good enough. like not throwing away all 3 heavy garbage bags at once kinda thing. Or not washing the dishes quickly or right away.
Edit#3 My mom has had talks with my stepdad about how he treats me but he usually reverts back within a week or so.
Edit#4 my mom works long hours so she's not home most of the day. so it's just me and my brother and my stepdad most of the time.
note# I know I wrote a whole book but I just needed to get this off my chest and I have no one to talk to.
andytstith: Oh no, you ripped the albatross off your mother's neck, freeing her from a life of misery. How dare you.
InfiniteScreams: Do my eyes deceive me? Is this a Kate Bass poetry reference?
andytstith: It's a deep cut, isn't it?
InfiniteScreams: It’s one of my absolute favorite poems in the world; I wish everyone had the pleasure of discovering it at some point!
andytstith: Hopefully through this comment, we are helping many more discover it.
| 6 | 50.166667 | |
1662912013 | 1662925261 | t3_xbm749 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Successful-Cricket83: tifu by missing the most obvious hint ever
[removed]
justenskinner: Do all 16 year olds talk like this? Less gym, more punctuation.
Successful-Cricket83: Nah i dont feel like that. + reddit isnt school so I wont edit this text and mark every noun, verb and adjectiv
Im sry.
brova: The way you type and communicate makes you sound like a imbecile child... which I suppose you are, given the story. Sounds like the girl lucked out.
Successful-Cricket83: Why directly insult? Im sry if I cant tell the story proper in English. Its not my motherlanguage i tried my best writing it. Idk why you directly need to insult other people. I know some parts sound a bit stupid and dont throw the best light at me but I tried to bring it over and make people laugh about my stupidness at missing the hint.
brova: Sorry, I don't mean to insult your english if it isn't your native language. But your story really reeks of male insecurity and immaturity. Don't go to the club looking for a fight and then doing everything in your power to be disrespectful to those around you.
| 6 | 2.5 | |
1662913385 | 1663040089 | t3_xbmrro | t5_2to41 | 4,192 | cupofteathrowaway: TIFU by acting like a hoe after works drinks
I can't really believe that I did this. I haven't felt really upset because I'm not sure if it's sunk in.
Essentially I went to a work drinks with some of my colleagues and I gave one a hand job on a bus on the way home and fucked another one in the back of my car outside my flat (guy two walked me home from the bus, don't know if he saw my wanking off guy one).
I was very drunk but I've never behaved this way when drunk before. I'm pretty shocked at myself as I consider myself to be asexual but this is one-night stand and fucking in a public place with two people I work with in one night. I cannot understand where it came from.
I felt very upset and quite suicidal that night which I'm not using as an excuse but I'm just confused and shocked.
I haven't heard from either guy since and I've only just reached out to them to check in and see if we're good or not.
I don't know why I did it or how to react to it.
I'm hoping it just gets ignored as a weird or wild mistake and we can move on from our lives without dwelling on any of it.
Tl;Dr - I gave one guy a handjob and fucked another in the back of my car after works drink. I work with both guys.
​
Edit: Guy one has rang me in reply to my text and we're both happy to move forward from it.
Edit 2: I'm feeling a lot better after just hearing some opinions and talking about it. I think it's a one off blow out, I was feeling pretty overworked. Think I could do with drinking less. I regret I did it with colleagues but I'm not feeling awful about it anymore.
Edit 3: It's not a consent issue guys, I don't think I was spiked or that there were any issues with consent at all. I appreciate all the support and concern. I think I will speak to a therapist as I have been feeling low recently but I also think this was just a dumb bit of fun blowing off steam. Thanks for all the encouragement, I don't feel so alone anymore with it.
Thud2: Things happen, and the repercussions are rarely as bad as our imaginings. You made a mistake move forward and don't dwell on it. If someone decides to be an asshole about it that's *them* being an asshole. You just made a mistake. Years from now when you're on your deathbed I'm sure you'll be looking back and saying damn that was the last thing I should have been worrying about.
Fthewigg: Two sexual acts with separate coworkers in public on the same drunken night might be something to dwell on and ask yourself why you’re doing it.
cupofteathrowaway: Yeah it's not the smartest thing I've ever done. I think I was sad and looking for a distraction.
Wasatcher: The part I'm hung up on is where you consider yourself to be "asexual". Alcohol tends to remove our inhibitions. It kinda sounds like you're not asexual at all, you're just really good at suppressing your sexuality when sober.
Vivistolethecheese: Dude what is up with the aphobia in the comments, it means not sexually attracted to people, it does not mean you can't do sexual acts. If what you're saying were true then consent wouldn't be an issue when intoxicated.
slapshots1515: Not everything is a phobia, and no one I’ve seen is equating asexuality with celibacy. No one I’ve seen is even being intolerant of OP being asexual should they choose. They’re simply pointing out-and understandably so-that it is a bit peculiar for an asexual person to have the desire to commit multiple sex acts in a night. Not impossible, and not that OP can’t still be an asexual, just that it’s somewhat noteworthy, and by definition it is.
Vivistolethecheese: They were drunk dumbass
slapshots1515: You seem pleasant. Alcohol doesn’t magically make you into a different person, FYI.
Vivistolethecheese: It chemically changes your brain, I'd say that's pretty close
waxonwaxoff87: It removes inhibitions making people more impulsive. It doesn’t put new ideas in your head that weren’t already there. Anything unleashed from there is what dwells in the margins.
Vivistolethecheese: Do you know how alcohol works bud? I can send you some resources
waxonwaxoff87: No need I am a physician.
Vivistolethecheese: What kind? Last I checked physicians didn't deal will alcohol, physicians and psychiatrists did. Also, nice history of aphobia centrist! Hope you know the right answer.
waxonwaxoff87: I am an anesthesiologist. I deal with drugs that alter consciousness and memory.
Not everything is a phobia. You can disagree with someones subjective view point without having an irrational fear which is the actual meaning of phobia. The word has nothing to do with hatred or bigotry.
Edit: now seeing that you say physicians don't but do deal with alcohol. I am very confused by this and assume it is an error. Physicians deal with alcoholism all the time. It is a common problem.
Vivistolethecheese: You continuously saying that being asexual is invalid, making pun of the sexuality, and making fun of people who identify as such, along with being transphobic on multiple occasions with the defense of "just speaking the truth" as a 'rightful centrist"... That's aphobia, and definitions are much more complex bud.
waxonwaxoff87: When did I make fun of anyone? Or that asexuality is invalid? "Continuously" ie I commented a couple times that people creating elaborate explanations amounted to sounds like they just have a low libido rather than asexuality which would not reveal itself as high risk sexual behavior when intoxicated, ie when inhibitions are down. Asexuality is not a conscious process by definition, so the loss of inhibition would not reveal sudden intense love for sex. If you have to consciously tell yourself that you are not sexually attracted to something that is called repression.
Take your victim complex elsewhere. You have no moral high ground here.
Edit: Also I am getting the impression that you are a comment stalker that actually looks at people's histories. That is just creepy and weirdly obsessive that you can't deal with the discussion at hand and so try to go off road. Stick to the discussion at hand or bow out.
Vivistolethecheese: How is it creepy to look at comments? You made them, if you don't want people to see them, either don't make them in the first place or deleted them afterwards. It also seems as if you've never met an asexual person, because libido has nothing to do with it. I believe I've mentioned before, it purely has to do with sexual attraction. That means you can be asexual and have a high libido, or be sex repulsed, you can have multiple kinks, be interested in certain aspects of sex, watch porn only for the plot... Etc. I
It's a spectrum, like most things.
An asexual person doing a sexual act while under the INFLUENCE (key word there, called that for a reason) does not invalidate their sexuality. You do not know what a random internet person thinks, feels, or experiences to such a t that you can diagnose them in a field you have 0 experience in. You drug people, you're told the effects, and you're told the amounts.
waxonwaxoff87: It is very creepy to post stalk people and try to throw anything you find on the wall to make it stick. Rather than deal with the current discussion. It is a shallow tactic and is very weird to be so committed to being right. I could be the most horrible person in the world. That doesn't mean I am wrong when making a factual argument. Learn from this.
There is a difference between deciding to have sex with someone despite 95% of the time having zero interest, and having a few drinks then jerking off a stranger on the bus and immediately another in the back of your car. That is going from 0-60 pretty fast. I am not even making an ethical judgement here. Just pointing out logical inconsistency. Clearly the OP has feelings they aren't acknowledging.
I anesthetize people and deal with people in various altered states of consciousness, impulsivity, and disease states. I do it everyday for years. I have experience in what people repress and what comes out when you take away their inhibitions. You can act coy and try to minimize what I am a medical expert in all you like. It is a losing argument.
Having high libido is incongruous with asexuality no matter how you wish to parse it. Having romantic attraction is not the same as sexual attraction. An asexual by definition experiences little to no sexual attraction. Watching porn for the plot insinuates that the sex is just something happening in the background. The actors might as well have been playing tennis. Again that is very different than getting drunk, jerking off a stranger on the bus, and then having sex in the back of your car with a different person immediately afterwards. I can disagree with someones subjective view of themselves without being hateful, denying they exist (a stupid argument because clearly they wrote this post), or wish them ill.
| 19 | 220.631579 | |
1662913495 | 1662999457 | t3_xbmtcy | t5_2to41 | 83 | Cass69420: TIFU by going through my dads drawers
I 16f was looking through my dad's drawers to find one of my band T-shirt’s because my dad has a tendency to mix up our shirts when he sorts wash. Instead of finding my shirt I find an abundance of pills, I was freaking out thinking he was a druggy, but it turns out the pills in those bottles where stamina pills for ‘bedtime’. Which is fine, I don’t care, but when I say an abundance I mean 30 bottles of this stuff. I’m kind of confused because he always claims he has no money, but somehow has $500 for stamina pills. What’s even more confusing is he somehow figured out how to use his phone to type in his credit card info and do all the other stuff to get these 30 bottles mailed to him, unless he carried around 30 bottles of this stuff in the middle of a Walmart which I highly doubt. What sucks the most out of this whole thing is the reviews suck ass. I looked this stuff up and the reviews are horrible, they don’t work at all so my dad spent $500 on a bottle of shit.
TL; DR my dad has 30 bottles of stamina pills that is worth $500 in total even though he say’s he’s dirt poor
Aqlt: Don’t go through your parents bedroom drawers, kids. Every teenager learns this lesson at some point. You’ll always regret what you find.
mfiirk: My wife and I have a lockbox under the bed. My son was obsessed with what was in it till I told him “what couples keep locked up under the bed are probably things you really don’t want to know about and would require therapy if you found out.”
He hasn’t asked since.
yung-hoon: This would make me so curious I'd end up breaking your box, using your toys on myself and leaving them on your bed for when you come home.
mfiirk: My son is at that awkward age where sex terrifies him. I’ve been working on normalizing conversations around this. And I’ve told him he needs to be comfortable asking us all the questions because he and his friends have shit for brains on this particular topic. Example: one of his buddies has already told him not to swim with a girl cause she could get pregnant.
yung-hoon: Sounds like he has the right mates. Making sure he plays it safe 😂
| 6 | 13.833333 | |
1662913714 | 1662996997 | t3_xbmwem | t5_2to41 | 203 | throwaway626181o: TIFU by filming myself jerking off on cam
[removed]
AwkwardSquirtles: If you're in High School then tell them that they're in possession of Child Porn. Even if you're only just over 18, they don't know that.
throwaway626181o: That's a good point. I am 17, so it is illegal probably to have that
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Yes, This is the way!! If they post anything they're facing so much trouble! (Look up strafboek artikel 240b). Just tell them you're a kid and they'll have the scare of their life. And if you want revenge, file a police report, so they'll be fucked either way...
throwaway626181o: Yeah that seems like a good plan...
One problem though, I don't know if they're in the same country as me. I don't think so, because the messages are all in very bad Dutch, so it is probably google translated, so they are probably not in the Netherlands
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Well luckily CP is forbidden in most countries so hopefully the police will still go after them and collaborate with the police of the country their in to get them. It might be naive thinking of me but there's only one way to find out. CP is a very serious issue and I'm sure the police will try their best to help you.
I just want to add: don't pay them a cent. I wouldn't do it out of principle, these criminals don't deserve money and they sure as hell don't deserve yours! If they end up posting the pictures, it's not the end of the world for you. Keep your head high, your back straight and if anyone ever mentions it, own the fact that they tried to blackmail you but you wouldn't budge. You didn't give a shit what they would do with the compromising pictures and you're a badass for not giving in to this weak ass attempt to extort you!
Godspeed king💪🏻
throwaway626181o: Thanks man, I really needed to hear that. Bullying is quite a thing at our school and when one of them finds out about those pics, I am dead for the rest of the year. That's why I was/am so scared about this shit
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Understandable, bullying was also quite common at my highschool so I totally understand how scary it is to be blackmailed! But you also mentioned your a senior, does that mean you have one more year to go? In that case the worst case scenario is that you'll have at the most one year of bullying ahead of you, but honestly most people will forget or stop caring after a month or two (maybe sooner even). And I for one think it would be a badass move to just own up to your mistake. As long as you don't feel any shame they can't bully you for it. Just tell the bullies you had a good nut and ask them if they liked seeing your dick and if they want to see more lol.
throwaway626181o: That's actually really good advice, man, thanks. Definitely gonna consider just owning up to it.
DixieChampagne: Oh, I suffered well my share of bullying in school, especially high school, but the subject matter and so-called reasoning are usually different, and girls' methods tend to be more passive-aggressive. I was slut-shamed for YEARS by someone whom I considered a very close gf. I guess the reason I tolerated it was my need to see her learn that gaining one's worldliness would not make her any less valuable to a potential spouse: By the mid-1980s, the only person that comes to mind who had to prove she was a virgin was Princess Diana, As you can tell by my language, I didn't view parting with that brief portion of my life as a loss, exactly.. That chick started playing all holier-than-thou and spreading rumors about my sex life. If asked, I confirmed that shit whether it was true or not just for grits and shins. Sure, I was having sex and lots of it, but she didn't know any of my partners, and the truth was far wilder than her fiction. I'm just so grateful that her judgemental ass wasn't at our 30th Reunion. Now that she has three children and a divorce under her belt, she might have been forced to face some ugly truths, and not by me.
Because you seem like a very nice young man, and I found it recently, I'll post a yearbook pic of mine. I think it's from sophomore year. This way, you will know what a certified Slut looks like as a teenager so that you, too can be mean, cruel and judgemental with few repercussions. You're Welcome! (J/k, I know you're not that way, but I'll post the pic.)
| 10 | 20.3 | |
1662914286 | 1662923259 | t3_xbn4nw | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking by boyfriend how I could bribe him to watch Downton Abbey with me.
[deleted]
HutcHJC: I have had so many thoughts about this and no one can really know.
Many men have 3-some fantasies. I did. I’ve never had one but our relationship is as solid as the day we married, if not more so.
Would you have said yes to camping if that was first? He may have been looking for a no.
You asked for an unreasonable request. He was unreasonable but you stomped on him. I don’t get it. You know he’s been in abusive relationships. I feel like you set him up knowing the position he’s in. If you had said reasonable, then sure.
I’m not saying this was intentional. But look at what you said. Instead of going off (I’m inferring and maybe I’m wrong) on him you could have had a discussion.
Starting relationships are tricky. If the words you said above are accurate, then you asked for that type of response.
drugs4therapy: how is sitting down and watching tv with your girlfriend unreasonable?
HutcHJC: She asked him to name something unreasonable…
"What would it take for you to watch Downton Abbey
with me? You can get an unreasonable request of me if
you watch it with me"
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1662919498 | 1662922896 | t3_xbp8ex | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU my girlfriend caught me looking at other girls
[removed]
denadirawi: Dang I’m sorry :( that’s scary for sure and understandable. It’s actually quite normal for people in a relationship to find others attractive and to look at them. Hell it’s even common to like develop crushes in a relationship (before anyone says anything I’m just quoting my therapist) but relationships are a lot of work, they’re hard for sure and have a lot of commitment. I will say that the first thing that I’d recommend is to calm down. Freaking out is going to cause a lot of anxiety and might cause a bad reaction out of you and her. So I’d recommend to reflect on yourself and figure out why you’re looking at others. Sometimes you might feel something is missing in the relationship and you try to seek out what it is in others. So try to figure out why you’re doing what you’re doing and how to change it. With her, give her some time, allow her to calm down and do what she needs to do, give her some space, and once she’s ready to talk about it you guys can sit down and talk. But don’t yell when you do talk, don’t freak out, stay calm and be honest. Being honest and upfront with your feelings is definitely a vulnerable time but it shows that you care and are willing to put yourself into that position for the sake of your relationship. If you need any more advice hmu! Good luck!
BIzck: Thank you a lot I never really saw it that way before but i’ll definitely think about whats missing and talk to her about it when the times right thank you again
denadirawi: For sure! I’ve had similar issues like this so I understand where you’re coming from
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1662919701 | 1662923347 | t3_xbpbcv | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by not helping two girls right away when my bff’s friend was harassing them
[removed]
Mathamanian: You ruined his life — apologize to Josh.
frickityfrackles: praying you just forgot the tone indicator at the end...
Mathamanian: /s
| 4 | -0.75 | |
1662926707 | 1662937890 | t3_xbs7ty | t5_2to41 | 42 | Nofriggenwaydude: TIFU by finally confessing to a councillor and ending up in protective custody
Tw- sa / abuse
A few years ago I was drink spiked in Mexico and almost died. Came back to my home country and confessed to a doctor what had happened. Flash forward a few weeks later and we match on tinder. End up in a 1.5 year relationship with the same doctor. He can be “difficult” and my friends and family aren’t very fond of him but I am smitten. No one knows he was my doctor first it’s a big secret between us.
After a year I get pregnant and the doctor becomes extremely abusive. Always critical cutting me off from friends/family/any new opportunities. Says conventional medicine is bad and I shouldn’t have ultrasounds or prenatal care. I am constantly ‘in trouble’ lots of name calling, yelling, kicking me out of the house but I chock it up to work/pandemic stress and stick it out and try to make it work for the baby. After all he is a doctor who loves me and his patients and is just stressed right ?
It escalates. During seggs I beg him not to do certain things to me, but he continues to do them anyway. It was painful and scary and I would even cry in bed to him but he doesn’t care and this happens about 3 times before I completely shut down and we stop having seggs.
Eventually I lose the baby, end the relationship and leave. It was so hard but looking back thank god. On the way out he confesses that “the only reason I kept the relationship going with you is because there is a clause in my medical license oath that says if we stay together for 2 years, I will not get into trouble. I was abusing and angry to try and make you break up with me and get rid of the baby.”
I am shocked and everything makes sense now- how it started so good and deteriorated so quickly, why he wouldn’t listen to my sexual boundaries, etc. We break contact for a year and I promise to keep his secrets and feel sorry for both of us but decide to move on peacefully.
One of the worst sa incidents was when I switched careers. He had been insistent that I become a “stay at home mom” and when I refused and started a new job because finances were tight- he freaked out. I sat in severe pain on the first day at the new job but pushed through it.
I work in aviation and lost my best friend colleague in workplace accident and was off work for 5 weeks this summer. I also stated a new loving relationship. The ptsd started to take hold and I realized that it was hurting so bad to try to get back to work and also having a negative affect on the new the new relationship.
After being blocked for a number of months he starts messaging again out of the blue and my new boyfriend isn’t happy. But at one point the dr had broken into my Facebook and I was terrified of him and the power he had, he also has a huge family in town and they are all nice people so I am stuck and don’t know what to do.
I went to a councillor and confessed everything to ask for advice on how to get back to work and not let the ptsd affect the new relationship. The councillor cried and said she will have to call the police as this is mandatory to report even thought when I went in they promised to keep it confidential.
I was put into protective custody while the cops and councillors decide what to do and the new boyfriend super randomly dumped me before I even got to tell him the truth about what happened. So scared and alone and still love you d.c but also accept that I absolutely don’t want him to have to go through all this with me. He deserves the best and this situation is terrible.
Tl/dr - went to a councillor and the story was so extreme that I was put into protective custody and it basically ruined my new cherished new relationship.
scarpenter42: Did you report the doctor?????? He should not still have his medical license
Nofriggenwaydude: This is real this isn’t a joke or lie
scarpenter42: I didn't think so. So did you report him????
| 4 | 10.5 | |
1662928022 | 1662928796 | t3_xbsrau | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by exploding all over my ex's life
[deleted]
twohedwlf: \*Carefully backing away\*
solstice_gilder: 
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1662928425 | 1662994272 | t3_xbsx99 | t5_2to41 | 2,945 | cixotking: TIFU By asking my gf about her exes horse d*#k
was talking to my gf last month about our sex life just being curious on if there was anything i could improve on.
Big mistake on my part since we both had a few already and my girlfriend becomes brutally honest. I have performances issues already . And i finally finished a couple days prior being proud of myself i asked her does she get off. I was hoping she was gonna say she loves it and does ...
Turns out she had been faking it for all this time ( we have been dating for 9 months). Now we both love each other and i dont blame her for any of this. I asked and i received.
I then proceeded to ask her so you dont O at all??? She then muttered no when her ex just slipped it in she did. I said what did you just say????!
Realizing what she had said we started arguing. Asked en quee the f up question. I asked really he must have been huge and she said like a horse.
I havent tried anything since and she assures me that it doesnt matter because she does love me more than anything. I know she regrets saying it and she keeps apologizing...
But i can't even get it up. (for ref im 6.5 in") not that it matter but damn how big was this guy?
TL ; DR drunkenly asked my gf about our sex life.
Got a huge horse like humbling experience.
itstotallynotjack: two things you never do:
1. engage in a land war in asia
2. ask your significant other about exes size
cixotking: Fuck cant believe i did the worse one
Tsubodai86: Time to hit up the bad dragon website and get your lady a Sleipnir.
Djdubbs: Can’t second this enough. If your relationship outside of sex is healthy and you want to stay together, but she has trouble climaxing from PIV with you, look into using toys together.
God_Emperor_Leto_II: Or, he could, you know, find someone more physically compatible who also doesn’t lie to him for 9 months. OP is well above average, it’s the gf who is the outlier here.
maohvixen: While faking it isn't ideal the majority of women are actually pretty much unable to orgasm from PIV and also heterosexual women have the lowest rate of orgasming across both men and women of differing sexual orientations so maybe she is an outlier as far as size goes but I'd imagine that's not the only reason (although faking it does make it harder for op to improve.)
TheApocalyticOne: I think that's the the comment is saying- his girlfriend prefers the larger size, and just likes it better to the point that it made her orgasm from penetration alone.
CrossXFir3: Well unfortunately for her, that's going to limit her options and quite frankly imo is a stupid thing to be looking for. There are solutions beyond "go find a guy with a bigger dick"
TheApocalyticOne: For sure, I totally agree- but I also think that if OP is gonna keep thinking about and holding on to her comment, it may fester resentment on his part and ruin their sex life even more if he's overthinking every time
| 10 | 294.5 | |
1662929313 | 1662930732 | t3_xbtab5 | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU By accidentally allowing my gf to drink my pee
[removed]
Devittraisedto2: \> She reached without any hesitation and gulped for like 3 seconds and then was like WTF IS THIS PIS\*
***how does she know the taste of piss***
iIIegally_blonde: It was probably warm 😩
| 3 | 0 | |
1662930030 | 1662941534 | t3_xbtlgr | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU by using toothpaste as lube
[deleted]
ThatsThatCue: I feel like for teenage males this was a right of passage for a lot of us.
AquaSherbet: Troubling thought.
| 3 | 15.666667 | |
1662912503 | 1662938485 | t3_xbmec3 | t5_2to41 | 31 | yokedeggs: TIFU by ordering sex toys before going out of town
My wife and I left town to visit family. Just days before, we had ordered some “collars” (not the kind for dogs). We asked my mom to take care of the house as we have dogs and fish that need to be fed. As a part of that job she would take in any mail we got. The collars arrived in the mail (in discreet packaging, so we weren’t worried about mom finding out) and my mom set them on a side table in our living room. Our dogs have a thing for eating things left in low places. Mom leaves the house for the night, comes back the next day, Lo and behold, the dogs have gotten into the package and used the collars as temporary chew toys, which my mom then had to collect and place somewhere away from the dogs. Only found this out because, while still out of town, I called my mom about something unrelated. She says the dogs ate the mail, but avoided mentioning the package. I texted her asking if the dogs ate the package. We are both terribly embarrassed (my mom is a conservative, shy-ish woman).
TL;DR ordered sex toys, mom received the package while I was out of town and dogs ate the package to reveal the toys to mom
Zirtrioxxx: I love dogs what kind of dog do you have?
LilacCrusader: Yup. Dog tax is the most important part of this story.
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1662880974 | 1663012470 | t3_xbc417 | t5_2to41 | 32 | Spider222222: TIFU by telling my old tutor about Inside Out 2
Ok so this happened today I was sitting with my old tuition tutor who taught me for 9 years so he is like a brother now and we hang out often, watch movies together, play video games etc. For the most part he is a chill dude and I enjoy his company and we have fun.
Yesterday was the D23 expo in which they announced the sequel to Inside Out which is a very famous and beloved Disney Pixar movie and one of my favourites so anyways naturally I am excited and decide to tell him so I do and he tells me that he has never watched the first one so he opens Youtube to watch a trailer and this is where the f*** up happens
He opens a trailer which is basically the them having dinner and setting the foot down scene, you know when Riley is being rude to parents and not listening to them with some text in between anyways he watches the trailer laughs in-between, all seems to be going well but then oh boy then as soon as the trailer finished he opens his mouth
He says this is a very dangerous movie for Kids to see cause it teaches them to not listen to their parents and breeds disobedience and starts to give me an whole lecture about it, I tried to calm him down that he was just taking the scene out of context and needs to watch the whole movie to understand that She listens to her parents in the end but he says the ending does not matter cause these scenes still exist and so its a really bad movie and I kid you not he literally said that it would be better to let kids watch the adult animated movie Sausage Party than this
Now tbh if it was someone else a freind or a stranger man I would have set their mind right right there and then , I would have let them know how stupid they are and Inside Out is nothing at all like he is making it seem like but as this was an Old teacher who has although now turned into kinda a freind there is still a certain level of respect that I maintain for him soo I kinda just kept imagining letting him have a peice of my mind lol but ultimately kept quiet and let him rant when he was done I just quickly changed the subject but oh boy was that a rant
TL;DR. Told my old tutor turned friend about the sequel to Inside Out and then sbowed him a trailer for the first one only for him to go on a rant about the movie is teaching kids disobedience and even Sausage Party is better than it
mecaka: Pastor at this super fundamentalist Christian camp I went to every summer as a kid once said the same thing. About the opening of *Finding Nemo*. I was like 14 or 15 at the time and side-eyed it then but it’s a really weird opinion to have about a kid’s movie.
Spider222222: Yh man I mean come on its a movie watch it and have fun why are you trying to find conspiracy theories in them I mean I am a Psychologist so yh movies and other media do have subtle messages and stuff like that but not like this its mostly product placement or tricks to get you like the movie more etc.... extreme messages dont exist in kids movies
Btw what did the guy find wrong with finding nemo?
mecaka: Nemo arguing back to his dad and outright disobeying him to go touch the boat. When there’s literally immediately dire consequences straight after. He doesn’t like that he’s depicted being disobedient at all even if it plays out to have consequences and can thus teach a moral. He said he pauses it when Nemo starts swimming for the boat to go over the scene with his young kids (they’re probably teens now though) and re-explain why disobedience is a sin. 🙄
Spider222222: Lol wtf man people are dumb I swear it slike their sole purpose in life is to find problems in things I mean like how stupid do you have to be to think like this
I am really shocked that people like this still exist
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1662930214 | 1662936535 | t3_xbtocc | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU: and sabotaged my chance of having a Threesome
[deleted]
AlexJonesInDisguise: Why did she call you into the bathroom if she was still going?
beige4ever: Rule #1 of going to the potty in strange places: never go alone
| 3 | 1 | |
1662937238 | 1663021960 | t3_xbwhof | t5_2to41 | 3,122 | AardvarkPatient5596: TIFU / I realised I am deeply in love with a co worker, But I have slept with his married cousin in the past.
*false name used for story purposes*
Bit of a background. I Female (19) Jess work for a big corporation. when I started working there I became quite close to a male co worker call him Tom, Male (28), we always flirted at work and I eventually got his number and we spoke privately and occasionally hung out outside of work, I later found out that he was soon to be married, we had an argument and lost contact but still remained civil due to work reasons. We eventually became friends with eachother again and attended a work event ( drinks) together which is where I was introduced to his cousin, jake, Male (27) We all were having a good time and remained at the venue for multiple hours, eventually my friend Tom becomes upset with me due to me speaking to other male colleagues and leaves, we speak about this privately later and agreed to discontinue our friendship and whatever else was going on.
over a course of some time I become quite close to Tom’s cousin, Jake, we spend a lot of time out of work alone and there was a heavy attraction there but I never thought it would become anything beyond that point, At this stage because I became close with Jake I ended up becoming friends with Tom again. One thing led to another and we ended up hooking up on two occasions (Myself and Tom) I eventually ended things with him as it was against my morals. (Too late)
A few weeks later I ended up hooking up with jake and it became a regular thing (fwb), Now I have been spending nearly every day with Jake and I care for him deeply and we have decided to become exclusive but not official (at his request). Though he is very close to his cousin and since things are starting to get serious I can’t help but but feel guilty I haven’t told him about my experiences with his cousin Tom, and I don’t think I would be able to progress things without telling him.
I want to tell jake because it’s the right thing to do, and I know Tom would never tell jake of this as he has a soon to be wife and it would be ruined if jake found out, But if this ended up being long term I couldn’t live with that secret
Now the guilt is getting to me and I want to tell jake so we could potentially be in a healthy relationship, but I know if I tell him about Tom I could potentially destroy a marriage and also my relationship with jake. Though I think I might be falling for him so I’m in a really tricky position, I’m fairly young still so I don’t have much experience with these type of things and never expected that I would fall for him.
today when I was lying in his bed gazing into his eyes I felt horrified that I may Love this man that I have done this to, sleeping with a friend is bad but sleeping with someone who they are family with is even worse. not to mention this guy is married ( the original guy Tom not Jake) so will be shock horror to him (Jake) if I ever brought the past up.
EDIT:: I thought I might add this for a bit of further backstory. The marriage of Tom’s is arranged via family. though I genuinely think they may be falling in love now
EDIT: country is Australia and the cousins are originally from a foreign country… I also do not have any contact with Tom anymore, Only Jake
EDIT: Jake, whom is the only one I am sleeping with currently sees a future with myself and has asked me if I would be interested in being official. I NEVER had feelings for Tom. unfortunately Jake 100% does not know that Tom has slept with me as our workplace community is very close, therefore everyone would have found out, He also adores Tom’s wife so they likely would be already separated if he knew..
EDIT marriage explanation: Tom and his wife are legally married, Though due to their religion the actually ceremony hasn’t taken place though it is very soon to happen
FINAL EDIT;conclusion:
here is the long awaited resolution to this story but I can assure you it wasn’t as interesting as some may have expected. I Told Jake everything, he was a bit annoyed that I had waited so long to tell him and had lots of questions, we talked everything through, it was rough but we are still seeing eachother and both are happy :) He is pretty upset with his cousin but I think things will work out. Thank you for everyone’s help
tl;dr : I slept with two cousins, both of whom are my co workers and one being married, Now I don’t know what to do about my feelings towards one of them and have realised I made some pretty bad life choices
Tanagrabelle: Assuming I have all this correct, you just tell Jake that you were with Tom before him. That way, if Tom starts getting weird at Jake and you, he will know why. But yeah, that you got intimate with Tom after he was married is liable to be a big issue, particularly if your relationship with Jake goes sour.
Trapdoormonkey: What if jake knew and they’re both playing with a 19 year olds heart?
Nvrfinddisacct: Then she has learned a valuable lesson to 1) not fuck dudes with fully developed frontal lobes while hers is still coming together and 2) not to fuck coworkers so your professional life can remain stress free.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: Is it wrong to also recommend not fucking people unless there is some sign of exclusivity? Cause if she didn't sleep around with Tom but was just good friends, most of this could probably be avoided.
and when I say most, I mean
A: Not sleeping with a married dude (He is also a POS)
B: Not getting played by an almost-30 year old cause she is easy
PebblesmomWisconsin7: Hold on here. She’s young but is an adult and what she did isn’t illegal, it just got messy. Sex happens sometimes and this is merely a “whoops”.
She is admitting she made a mistake, and because she cares about the guy. They are ALL complicit here in this mess and she is actually the youngest one. And seriously if everyone waited until there was “some sign of exclusivity” which is unrealistic in today’s Tinder culture, that’s still no guarantee shit like this won’t happen.
Do not pile guilt on a young person who made one mistake and is trying to move past it.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: >Sex happens sometimes and this is merely a “whoops”.
I'm gonna have to stop you there Pebbles Mom from Wisconsin, she said she slept with the dude multiple times until she found out he was getting married. Why is it so wrong to tell our daughters to not fuck guys unless they are your boyfriend?
My sister follows this rule and so far her experiences dating have been either A: Dealing with a guy who was semi-interested but left shortly after not getting into her pants
and
B: Dude is cool as shit and we meet him and know he is awesome so they date and do whatever
Everyone she takes serious, we end up meeting and give her the green or red light and she avoids the messy trauma. Even on a personal level, my fiance has only had 4 partners since all her relationships were long term and she has almost no emotional baggage compared to all the other women I entertained before. There is nothing wrong with telling women to give it up only to the men that take them seriously. They avoid so much of the ghosting, emotional manipulation, etc. that goes on and the multiple women in my family are proof of that from an anecdotal perspective.
PS: We aren't trying to dogpile her, it's advice on how her and other women can avoid these absolute shitshows in the future. A little self-respect goes a long way.
PSS:
>And seriously if everyone waited until there was “some sign of exclusivity” which is unrealistic in today’s Tinder culture, that’s still no guarantee shit like this won’t happen.
Please be realistic. Obviously nothing in life is guaranteed, but if I keep going into bad neighborhoods against the advice of the people around me, I can't be surprised if I get robbed right? We want to mitigate bad experiences and trauma and expecting exclusivity mitigates a HUGE amount of emotional abuse and trauma of getting pumped and dumped by shitty low-quality guys.
rinkimiko: If women and girls have to follow this rule of... *Checks notes* almost abstinence, why can't men and boys follow it as well and just generally be more respectful to females.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: >If women and girls have to follow this rule of... almost abstinence, why can't men and boys follow it as well and just generally be more respectful to females.
I never said I disagree with this in the least bit. In fact, I 100% agree that this almost abstinence for both genders is absolutely the best way to go since it means both genders are raised to appreciate and foster more meaningful relationships
but
Women oftentimes don't understand the sometimes insatiable need for sex that comes from the amount of testosterone men have by default so for this to be a sustainable model, women would need to acknowledge and accept that there will be plenty of times where porn will be part of the equation but she would need to take care of his needs even when she isn't up for it at the moment. This is part of what can be considered the female duty in a marriage. Feminists will call this misogynistic and stifle the conversation as much as possible while people like my fiance knows it's part of life and wants to keep me fulfilled so that (per her words) my eyes don't wander.
Regardless, when we don't treat men's urges with any kind of importance and a key part of the needs in a marriage, then nobody should be surprised by the army of un-married horndogs walking around nightclubs to get laid.
Edit: Also just want to add that taking care of female needs absolutely has to become part of the conversation but just from an evolutionary perspective, guys more often act out sexually cause of the relentless push of testosterone so their need for sexual release might have to be classified as essential when it comes to the relationship.
rinkimiko: Also
You're disgusting.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: If you aren't married and want to be, maybe start asking your male friends what they want from a marriage and ask them what a dead bedroom is.
rinkimiko: Been married for 7 years thank you very much. I don't keep many male friends that aren't also friends with my hubby, out of respect to show my eyes don't wonder despite not always having my sexual needs taken care of. My husband gives me the same respect. At one point years ago we agreed upon an open relationship so my needs can be fulfilled but I didn't friggin cheat on him and when I saw he was hurting we decided to keep our relationship exclusive to only us. We went to therapy, I take better care of my mental health and even though there isn't a lot of sex, there is intimacy galore. Every touch, every back rub, every cuddle and bum squeeze (I do most of the bum squeezing, at first he didn't like -too insecure- it but he likes the massage), every time I run an errand and come back with a small token (his fav drink or candy bar) for him. There's so much more to a relationship than sex.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: Open relationship literally means he is out getting laid to get his needs met which kinda proves my point?
But whatever, you do you.
rinkimiko: I was the sexual one, not him, he is greysexual (mostly not sexual except maybe a few times a year) whereas I was a multiple times a day person.
open relationship is NOT cheating. Cheating is laying behind your partners back without their knowledge and consent. And when I saw that it was hurting him despite him consenting we communicated like loving adults and agreed no more outside relationships or experiences.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: So you are clearly the exception and it's harder for you to understand when I'm speaking about people's experience on average meaning what the vast majority of people experience. You are an outlier in the grand scheme of things.
rinkimiko: [I'm not the exception](https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare#1) you're just an uneducated misogynist.
Shady_Yoga_Instructr: WebMD is a meme, how about some actual research
[https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0503\_5](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1207/S15327957PSPR0503_5)
>The sex drive refers to the strength of sexual motivation. Across many different studies and measures, men have been shown to have more frequent and more intense sexual desires than women, as reflected in spontaneous thoughts about sex, frequency and variety of sexual fantasies, desired frequency of intercourse, desired number of partners, masturbation, liking for various sexual practices, willingness to forego sex, initiating versus refusing sex, making sacrifices for sex, and other measures. No contrary findings (indicating stronger sexual motivation among women) were found. Hence we conclude that the male sex drive is stronger than the female sex drive. The gender difference in sex drive should not be generalized to other constructs such as sexual or orgasmic capacity, enjoyment of sex, or extrinsically motivated sex.
[https://peplau.psych.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/141/2017/07/Peplau-2003.pdf](https://peplau.psych.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/141/2017/07/Peplau-2003.pdf)
>These four general differences between women’s and men’s sexuality can illuminate specific patterns of sexual interaction. For example, in heterosexual couples, it is fairly common for a partner to engage in sex when he or she is not really interested or “in the mood.” Although both men and women sometimes consent to such unwanted sexual activity, women are more often the compliant sexual partner (see review by Impett & Peplau, 2003). Each of the gender differences I have described may contribute to this pattern. First, the stage is set by a situation in which partners have differing desires for sex, and the man is more often the partner desiring sex. Second, for compliant sex to occur, the more interested partner must communicate his or her desire. Men typically take the lead in expressing sexual interest. Third, the disinterested partner’s reaction is pivotal: Does this partner comply or, instead, ignore or reject the request? If women view sex as a way to show love and caring for a partner, they may be more likely than men to re- solve a dilemma about unwanted sex by taking their partner’s welfare into account. In abusive relationships, women may fear physical or psychological harm from a male partner if they refuse. Finally, sexual compliance illustrates the potential plasticity of female sexuality. In this case, women are influenced by relationship concerns to engage in a sexual activity that goes against their personal preference at the time
There is even differences pertaining to when HSDD is involved.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8623679/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8623679/)
>As HSDD incorporates different biological, psychological and contextual factors that influence women’s sexual desire, these factors may be assessed differently by men and women. Several studies have found that men are more focused on frequent and intense episodes of sexual drive than women \[21,22,23\]. Some studies have claimed that gender differences in sexual activity are context-dependent \[23,24\]. For example, Petersen and Hyde found these differences are smaller in cultures that have more gender equity \[25\]. Nonetheless, the majority of research in this area portrays a clear gender difference regarding processing sexual content: men process erotic information and words faster than women do, while women have a more complex organization and memory of relationship-oriented words \[26\]. Women’s sex drive is primarily energized by emotions connected with intimate relationships so that women tend to describe their sexuality as satisfying when they have a close relationship with their partner \[27,28,29\].
[https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22268980/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22268980/)
>Hierarchical multiple regression results indicated that women's sexual desire was significantly and negatively predicted by relationship duration after controlling for age, relationship satisfaction, and sexual satisfaction. Men's sexual desire, however, was not significantly affected by the duration of their romantic relationships. These findings suggest that men and women may have different experiences with sexual desire as relationships progress and that sexual desire might be affected by different factors depending on one's gender.
But sureeeee, I definitely hate women according to you.
| 17 | 183.647059 | |
1662941977 | 1663015622 | t3_xby7jz | t5_2to41 | 34,963 | Fivegallonfuckbucket: TIFU my girlfriend went blind after sex
My girlfriend came over to hang out before work today and we had a bit of fun, we might have gotten a bit carried away because when we’d both finished she looked a bit dazed and confused. I asked if everything was okay, and as she was staring into the middle distance she said “I can’t see anything.”
She then told me she has a condition that causes her pupils to dilate when she’s crazy stressed or anxious and it causes her to temporarily go blind. (It’s called BEUM according to Google) apparently as we found out today, rough sex can trigger it too.
She has to drive to work in an hour and currently can only see hazy stars 😬
At least I can legitimately say I fucked someone until they couldn’t see straight!
TLDR: girlfriend went temporarily blind after having rough sex and can’t drive to work
GlitteringJello9162: I thought your aim was off and shot her in the eyes.
MystcManzaray: no joke i actly got worried ... can sperm make you go blind?
Edit: asking for a friend . . .
GlitteringJello9162: Pretty sure there are no documented cases in any medical journals of anybody going blind from taking a load to the eyes. If that's yours/ your partners thing make sure the receiver has cumbrellas before catching one on the face.
PretendThisIsMyName: Do I even wanna know what on earth a cumbrella is?
no_gold_here: Safety goggles, obviously
Budif-: Last time I took a load to the face he managed to cum UNDER my glasses and still hit me in the eye. No cum on my actual glasses.
SpazSkope: Glasses and oral go surprisingly well together
ShadowAdam: I'm not sure if you have ever worn glasses and went down on a woman or not but, I can assure you that they do not pair well together
SpazSkope: I have good eyesight but foggy glasses on a blushing face surfacing from under the covers… Yoooooo 🥵
ShadowAdam: See that's what you think, and what I was thinking BUT, if they clamp their legs down a lil too much or push down too hard when on top and your either gonna be in a lot of pain or have broken glasses 😂
SpazSkope: Luckily I’m usually on the receiving end. I’m sure the glasses can be inconvenient but that shit just turns me on like crazy. All I’m saying is if y’a tie your hair and don’t remove your glasses you just cut the intercourse time by like half no joke. Readjusting them in the act is a sure fire way to make my grown man ass moan like a bitch 🤣🤣
ShadowAdam: I belive there was a misunderstanding lmfao
"If you have ever worn glasses while going down ON a woman"
As a straight man I'll keep that advice in mind tho ig
| 13 | 2,689.461538 | |
1662941797 | 1662948006 | t3_xby58t | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing an accidental friendship test on one of my friends in our gc.
[deleted]
Tato7069: Don't worry, they only put good posts in those tic tok videos
infini98: 💀💀💀
| 3 | 3 | |
1662945664 | 1662982829 | t3_xbzi2w | t5_2to41 | 1,766 | bigtiddyliddy69420: TIFU by opening up to my mom
My (16f) mom (53f) didnt have the best relationship when i was a kid. We still don’t, really. For a bit of background, my parents are wealthy and have been my entire life. I’m eternally grateful for what my parents do for me, but where having wealthy parents gets tripped up or misunderstood by people is the emotional aspect of it.
For me at least, my parents have always tried to buy my happiness. My entire life has been my mother buying me things to keep me happy and out of her way. I never grew up with much of a sense of money preservation as a result. Even now my mom will still buy me things if it means im quiet and out of her way.
If i try to talk to her about the emotional absence I’ve been slapped in the face with my entire life, i end up getting guilt tripped. Because of this, I’ve just learned not to open up to her. Honestly, I’ve never tried to outright forge a relationship with her and that’s on me.
Today i asked my mom if she would take me to a craft store and she told me i had to contribute to the house (even though i do all the chores). One thing led to another and she called me spoiled. I blew up at her and went on and on about her buying my happiness and not being there for me emotionally. I never realized how much this affected me until i talked about it, I’m crying now thinking about dome of the stuff i said.
Like i said, we’ve never had a good relationship, and the things i said just further drove a wedge between us. I know i should have just talked to her calmly another time instead of unleashing this on a victim of generational trauma. I don’t think she even realized how i felt at all, and that what hurt her the most. I know she’s going to be affected by what i said in the heat of the moment and i don’t know if ill ever forgive myself for hurting her like that.
TL;DR. I lashed out on my mom for essentially buying my happiness as a child when she didn’t realize he was doing so. I hurt her with my words in the heat of the moment, she is a prime example of generational trauma and struggles breaking that, yet i still lashed out on her and drove a huge wedge between us.
UPDATE:
She came into my room and sat down with me to talk about it. She said what i told her hurt, but specified she didnt mean i had to apologize. She said it opened her eyes and asked me to be vulnerable. After crying for about twenty minutes, she hugged me for a long time and let me decide to pull away. we’ve been hanging out and talking since.
Another update lol:
I helped her with some pretty hefty paperwork for this program my neighborhood had last night while we watched a movie. We talked about it more in depth and it was like a breath of fresh air. i could see on her face she was hurting, but not because of me. because of what she’d inadvertently done. It all still stings a bit for us both, but i think if we keep communicating like we are itll improve from here. Thank you all so much for your kind messages xx
Coco_Dirichlet: First, you are still a kid.
Second, if they are so wealthy, why are you doing all the chores? They should pay someone to do the house chores. It's OK to have some chores, but you shouldn't be taking care of all the house just because they aren't around.
bigtiddyliddy69420: chores arent a big thing in our house. theyre not something thats worth grounding or anything we take super seriously until i ask my parents for something. there are some chores which are decidedly mine and others i just sort of cover when they need doing. our house isnt that big, anyway.
FeelingFun3937: Not meaning to pile on… but since you’ve had a breakthrough moment of maturity: Are you sure your parents are “wealthy“… or are they just underwater in debt (like most Americans) because they throw money at problems instead of dealing with them? I don’t know any wealthy families without large houses and multiple houses.
bigtiddyliddy69420: we bought a house that wasnt big to save money. houses in my area are crazy expensive. i think we got a pretty good deal for a 3 story house. my parents work in high positions for pretty big companies, plus my mom has a small jewelry business on the side.
Please note that “wealthy” does not mean “rich”. We do well and live comfortably, but my dads a money saving fanatic so it keeps my mom and i in check lmao
FeelingFun3937: Sorry. Dictionary def of wealthy: adjective,
having a great deal of money, resources, or assets; rich. <<<
Sounds like you are from a middle class American home. Good for you for knowing the terms of your parents’ mortgage at age 16! 😀
bigtiddyliddy69420: youre splitting hairs rn💀 feels like youre arguing just to argue. my parents mortgage doesnt matter right now. it wasnt about their mortgage to begin with. this entire thing is about emotional neglect.
FeelingFun3937: Sorry about the neglect OP. there’s a certain level of neglect that truly wealthy people exert on their kids by letting them be raised by nannies and shipping them off to boarding schools. I’ve seen this; but it seems not to be your experience. So many parents of any income level are not capable of providing kids the attention they need and crave. I hope this breakthrough makes things between you and your mom better in the long run.
interchanged: This is such a weird gate you're trying to keep
FeelingFun3937: Sorry you read it that way. I’m here trying to help, and getting the background facts straight helps me do that. Please feel free to read my comment history. ☺️
| 10 | 176.6 | |
1662946783 | 1662947896 | t3_xbzw3a | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by sexually assaulting a partner of mine despite them saying they hate it days before
[deleted]
69assaures_rex: The fuck did I just read??
LurksAroundHere: That he's apparently E's sister? -shrugs-
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1662948331 | 1663126967 | t3_xc0fa8 | t5_2to41 | 70 | alyciamarie98: TIFU by trapping a stray cat in my hot car
This is my first post on Reddit, I thought it was a worthy post. Also, I’m a little traumatized so I apologize for any grammar issues. My brain is whirling. For context, I live in an apartment complex in Georgia, USA. It gets freaking hot in the afternoons here.
Last night my husband and I got back from a wedding late, and I closed my trunk using the button on the hatch of my car. Apparently something was sticking out of my trunk because it didn’t close all the way. Again, it was late and I was tired so I didn’t bother to make sure the trunk closed all the way (won’t make that mistake again). When my husband and I went to leave this morning we were getting in his car and we noticed my trunk was slightly open. After closing it, I asked him to take a quick glance in and make sure none of our resident apartment cats had gotten in for a nap. We checked it over, didn’t see anything unusual. We went about our day.
This evening we were getting out to get some dinner and decided to take my car instead of his since it has good gas mileage. When I opened my car door I was immediately met with a pungent “wet dog” smell (or wet cat in my case) thought maybe I left a window cracked and water got in when it rained this morning. I was going to let it go, but I glanced in my passenger seat and noticed some sort of sick mess that was obviously not there last night when we got home. Not sure if it was vomit or diarrhea, I wasn’t interested in investigating. My mind was already jumping to conclusions. I immediately started searching my car. I finally opened the door behind the drivers seat and noticed sad little black toe beans sticking out from under the seat.
My theory was this poor kitty jumped in to escape the rain, and likely died from the afternoon heat. We didn’t see it this morning I guess because when we closed the trunk it climbed under the seat and wasn’t visible. That’s where I found it. Regardless, I feel so sad and guilty that it probably died in such a terrible way but also extremely disgusted by the bodily juices and smell in my car. The car is getting detailed tomorrow. But yes, big sad, big nasty. That is all.
tl;dr: I left my trunk open over night and when I closed it this morning I trapped a cat in it. The poor thing probably died from the heat and made my car smell like ish.
Lazy_bonzi420: I’m also from Georgia, so I understand the heat you’re talking about. Don’t beat yourself up too much, you had no idea the cat was going to hide so well and you also didn’t intentionally trap the cat, it was an honest accident. Animals unfortunately are very sneaky, and you did what you could to try and prevent, and fix the issue when you noticed an animal had an opportunity to sneak into your car. I’m sorry this happened OP
alyciamarie98: Thanks for the kind words. I have a cat myself, so it makes me sad to think of how it may have died. Definitely feeling guilty, but I will be triple checking if my doors/trunk are closed from now on.
Lazy_bonzi420: Something that may help, depending on your vehicle, (like this works pretty well for a sedan or hatchback but not necessarily an SUV) is to line the bottom of your trunk with aluminum foil. If you’re prone to forgetting your trunk, or live in an area with a high concentration of stray/feral/outdoor cats, this can help keep them from going in your car because the noise and texture freaks them out and they usually won’t go back in. My grandma (who had a PT cruiser) did this because she had a lot of stray cats and sometimes couldn’t get back down her steps to close her trunk right then, so that’s how she kept them out. She would just replace it once it got worn out from use (like grocery bags on it).
Lord_Jefe: I put aluminum foil on a top shelf where I had a Lego model. Went out, came home, Lego all over the floor, & cat asleep on the
aluminum foil. Every cat is different in likes & dislikes. Just know aluminum foil isn’t for every cat.
As to OP, I feel terrible for you. I know how it’s twisting your guts in a knot. I live in VA, & for us the heat finally cooled down, but I know in GA is still misery.
You can’t blame yourself because you didn’t know. You couldn’t know. I’m pretty sure if there is a kitty afterlife, that cat wouldn’t blame you.
If you feel truly terrible, donate some money to your local animal shelter in memory of that cat.
| 5 | 14 | |
1662948029 | 1662952672 | t3_xc0bhd | t5_2to41 | 4 | Artistic-Lychee-3385: TIFU vb trip
[removed]
TileTone: You're only 1 year older, certainly no harm in this.
Your future self will want go back and punch your younger self likely if you don't give it a chance at least.
Lets says you guys are together by the time you graduate though. I'm sure as long as both your parents are relatively normal and you and her have a healthy relationship they shouldn't have a problem with continuing said relationship that was preexisting before you graduated.
Artistic-Lychee-3385: Well the issue with that is that I’ll be graduating early most likely and probably go out of state for college, while her plans are going to the Air Force
TileTone: At the least you two can enjoy the time you can together.
Artistic-Lychee-3385: Yeah that’s true but aswell I don’t want to be like her ex they had a healthy relationship just he went to a different school, she is a really nice person and I feel like she deserves the best
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1662954714 | 1662992470 | t3_xc2jg8 | t5_2to41 | 97 | throwaway9876335: TIFU by watching a documentary with my boyfriend
Throwaway because he knows my main account
I (16m) and my bf (16m) have been together for 3 months now, last night was our anniversary, he came over with a disc copy of the 12RODS documentary (something I've been wanting to watch for a while now) And I was very excited, we cuddled on my soon to be hell, the couch, and started to play it.
We got about half way through the docu and into another live segment and as they played I admittedly got a little excited about Ryan, I for whatever reason turn to my boyfriend and say "Ryan is really hot".
He laughs about it and we continue watching.
A little while later he sits up and looks at me like he wants to talk. I end up pausing the documentary even though I was really getting into it and he starts talking to me about my fetishes. I don't find this weird because it's not the first time we've talked about stuff like this.
I ask what sparked him to start talking about this as I was itching to get back to the documentary and he says that my comment on Ryan inspired him.
Nothing could've prepared me for what he said next, he quickly asks this question "On the topic of what we're into, how do you feel about bugs?"
I looked at him almost disgusted and ask what he means. He goes on a tangent about how he actually doesn't mind the idea of having sex with an insect as long as they have human intelligence and I shouldn't judge so fast.
I continue to stare and he ends up getting up and leaving with the disc.
I feel like I really fucked up here.
TL;DR my boyfriend admitted to wanting to fuck bugs because I said Ryan Olcott was hot
cosmernaut420: That's a man who wants an ovipositor.
Don't google it.
VirtualDeliverance: I googled it. If the interview is true, you should rephrase your comment as "there's a man who built an ovipositor, and many people who want it."
cosmernaut420: We both know the guy with a bug fucking fetish keeps it for personal use. Probably handcrafts his own enormous gelatin eggs.
I warned you.
VirtualDeliverance: That doesn't remove the fact that he's making money out of it because there are other people who pay him to sell that to them.
| 5 | 19.4 | |
1662955357 | 1663262299 | t3_xc2rad | t5_2to41 | 1,374 | Aanaron: TIFU by offering to take my gf on vacation.
My gf(f24) and I (m26) are in an LDR while she finishes school about 4 hours apart. I haven't been able to visit her, because my car is too old and broken down to make the drive. I have a new car on the way, so I was planning a trip down.
There is a mountain resort about an hour away from her, and about 30 minutes closer to me. I thought it would be fun to rent a condo there for the weekend and we could do a mini vacation.
When I suggested we meet up there rather than her shared apartment she got mad at me for "not being willing to visit her and making her meet me half way when she has to come all the way to me". For context I live between her and her family and she only ever visits me when she goes to see her family.
Now she thinks I'm not committed and wants to take a break while she thinks about the relationship.
Tldr: Offered to meet my LDR girlfriend at a resort that happens to be 30 minutes closer to me rather than visiting her at her place and now she's thinking about ending the relationship.
kalysti: Sounds like you missed a bullet to me. Your offer was fun and caring. Old woman tip: Don't waste yourself on someone who is an obsessive relationship accountant. It's too stressful.
Sesquatchhegyi: Old guy's tip: unless there was a huge misunderstanding: run, my friend.
Even if she did not appreciate the getaway offer and if I would have created more nuance for her, "rethinking the relationship" after your move is a huge red sign.
Bigfops: Another old guy: She was looking for an excuse, sorry young dude. LDRs are tough. When you go visit her, be prepared to turn around and come home. last thing you want is to get dumped on a Friday and have a bus ticket for Tuesday.
edit: word.
cbeaugar: Middle age guy tip: all the above 👆
KarathSolus: Dude who's made some mistakes revolving around women and distance: This tracks.
im_thatoneguy: Guy who got rejected the day long distance was finally over getting flashbacks.
RiderTiger: Same… met on college campus, LDR over the summer, first day back on campus and she breaks up with me…. Over text
jnickpeters: Smells like infidelity
MNCPA: *Smells like teen spirit.*
| 10 | 137.4 | |
1662963571 | 1663013331 | t3_xc56ta | t5_2to41 | 19 | Sea-Injury-6138: TIFU by putting bleach on a white cloth in a coloured load
just like the title says, I've been doing laundry for past few days- except my cats, when stressed like to pee on things, their latest victim has been a white towel. Earlier I was doing laundry and took out the clean load, putting it into the clean bin. Mom took it out and pointed out bleach stains- me feelinf like shit and panicking bc I just put in another load that had a white cloth with cat piss and bleach w it. All I said was "Oh." and went to lay on the couch, when she went back into her room however- I opened the washer but low and behold the thing was already filled with the wretched water. I was taught to put bleach on white clothes/cloths thst smell bad, am I going to ruin my coloured clothing I put in with it???
my story telling talent is shit, and im tired and grouchy. Mega L I took today
edit: the towels smell fine BUT MULTIPLE SHIRTS AND SPORTS BARS HAVE PINK DYE ON THEM HELP
TLDR: yesterday I put in a white cloth and bleach to get rid of cat piss smell, not knowing it would damage the black on another clothing. Now I did another load, not knowing until it was too late.
Longjumping_Carry448: In the future you shouldn’t put bleach on something with cat pee on it. Cat pee is very high in ammonia and ammonia and bleach do NOT mix well
Sea-Injury-6138: OH LORD
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1662971366 | 1663075493 | t3_xc7arb | t5_2to41 | 18,443 | DudeWheresMyCuteCar: TIFU calling my best friend "cute"
A few weeks ago my sister (22) and I (20m) were discussing my best friend (20m) behind his back. I don't remember how the topic came up, but my sister was addressing the fact that my best friend at some point in time said I looked cute. I didn't think anything of it, but my sister was of the opinion that most straight guys don't call other straight guys cute. This conversation was happening in front of my sister's friends and all of her friends agreed. I argued that my best friend was straight as fuck AND pointed out that a couple of my sister's friends actually knew that first hand. I closed my argument by calling him cute too, which raised a few eyebrows, but no one questioned my sexuality. At least not to my face.
All of that changed yesterday when my best friend posted photos on IG of him kissing his male roommate with the caption "the cat is out of the closet". Albeit shocking, I was really happy for him, but I instantly remembered the cute conversation with my sister and I hoped she and her friends would've forgotten about it. They didn't lol. My sister and her friends ambushed me as soon as I came home yesterday and couldn't wait to show me photos on their phones of good looking guys and asking me to rate their cuteness, and they made sure to put the following in air quotes, "from a straight guy's perspective". Thanks to my sister's big mouth, my parents also got involved. My mom's talking about taking me shopping for pants that will make both of our asses look great. Even my dad is joking about having another sex talk with me since the first talk was the "heterosexual version."
Lesson learned, shut the fuck up.
Tl:dr I defended my best friend's heterosexuality when it came under scrutiny, only to find out that my best friend is actually gay and now my sexuality is under scrutiny (albeit for laughs).
GsTSaien: Ok but straight guys can say that other guys are cute though. I mean... well I am not straight... but uh.. ok yeah maybe my own experience isn't really going to refute what they are saying.
Jokes aside, I guess it depends on the context. Him telling your sister he thought you were cute is a bit suspicious... you using it to defend a homie is much less suspicious.
Darkforge42069: I mean you can if you don’t mind everyone thinking you’re gay sure nothing PHYSICALLY stopping you from saying anything tho
Sonoflyn: why would I mind people thinking I'm gay? It's not my problem if they're too stupid to characterise people correctly, and there's nothing wrong with being gay.
Darkforge42069: Sure that’s your opinion you can have it but some people do care about what others think especially when it’s not true
Sonoflyn: my point is that virulently defending your straightness makes you sound both homophobic and incredibly insecure, both of which usually lead to being made fun of even more. I often joke about my sexuality, yet nobody I know of seriously thinks I'm gay.
Darkforge42069: No that’s the thing I DONT go out of my way to correct people because I can’t be bothered it’s just annoying when everyone treats you differently and just assumes you’re gay because of something you said a single time so why even risk it and just not have anyone talk about you at all?
Sonoflyn: Idk just sounds like you really don't want to be seen as gay, which I don't really understand. Tbh I care a good amount about what people think of me. There are a lot of things I don't want to be seen as. But they're all things I'd consider to be bad.
Like imagine you liked a song from an artist you're not a fan of, but don't dislike in any way. Would you refrain from saying you like the song, lest someone says you're a fan of the artist?
Darkforge42069: Well yeah obviously I don’t want everyone thinking I’m gay and treating me differently because I’m not I feel like that makes sense for just about anything.
Sonoflyn: So you wouldn't say you like the song? Would you also not say that you liked a meal that didn't have meat in it, because people might think you're vegetarian? What about walking places? People might think you enjoy hiking.
Where do you draw the line? And why is being gay on the unacceptable side?
Darkforge42069: Well I draw the line where people begin to treat me differently for that assumption yes I would be annoyed if everyone assumed I was vegan and treated me as such no matter what that literally goes with anything if people start going around saying I go to the gym everyday for 3 hours that would be weird because I don’t and don’t want people talking to me about it same goes with playing a video game or something I literally just don’t want to be treated differently for something that has nothing to do with me is that not fair????
Sonoflyn: No that's fair. Your original comment just really sounds like you're assuming that everyone ought to have a problem with being seen as gay.
I think most people don't have a problem with just clarifying stuff like that, if there's a misunderstanding. Like the only scenarios I can think of where it might be relevant is getting hit on by a guy, in which case you just clarify that you're straight, or getting harassed by homophobes. I would probably just argue with the homophobes and call them out, but it's understandable to want to avoid that kind of conflict.
It's just not a good look to go around saying stuff like "sure you can do that, if you think it's okay to be seen as gay". It discourages people from being open about their sexuality and makes you look like a homophobe, whether you are or not.
Darkforge42069: I didn’t mean it like that I meant if you’re okay with going around and being messed with for it which in my experience is what happens and I’m not very confrontational so if someone refuses to listen to me the first few times I correct them or don’t believe me and continue to mess with me I’ll simply give up so I meant it more as like if what people say about you doesn’t really get to you then that wouldn’t be much of an issue really but as someone who isn’t like that I’d rather not risk it so I’ll stick to complimenting friends in private now all the downvotes on that original comment make a lot more sense lol
Sonoflyn: Yea I get what you're saying. Just trying to tell you how the comment looks and why I was arguing you. I'm glad you understand now.
In my experience people don't usually react negatively to guys complimenting each other, but obviously that varies a lot depending on what people you're around. I think it's a good thing that ought to be encouraged. Both because it can be used as an opportunity to call out homophobia and because I think it's a good thing to normalise in and of itself. A lot of male friend groups tend to be kind of toxic and guys complain about never getting compliments. Men becoming more supportive of each other is a big part of fighting toxic masculinity, which is good for everyone.
Darkforge42069: Yeah that’s my bad I didn’t mean for it to come off like that at all sorry
| 15 | 1,229.533333 | |
1662977581 | 1662982349 | t3_xc8ybz | t5_2to41 | -6 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking out this woman a second time
[deleted]
twotall88: "reconnected at a high school reunion" which would indicate you're at least 23 but you're acting like you're 14.
RissoldeChocolate: What a pathetic thing to say to someone. That comment showed more imaturity than anything OP said.
twotall88: Indicating someone is acting as a child acts when well beyond the years of childhood is not immature. I do feel I have potentially struck one of your nerves though :\\
RissoldeChocolate: I can infer you're imature by your comment the same way you also decuced it and claimed it so surelly from OP's post. Imaturity isn't calling people out on childish behaviour. Imaturity is shown when you read a post about someone's strugle and the only thing you can say is an empty and biased comment. Imaturity, is knowing you have no interesting thing to say or advice to give and you still throw out insults and unpleasent assumptions about other people.
| 5 | -1.2 | |
1662980248 | 1663068439 | t3_xc9q13 | t5_2to41 | 3,805 | Outrageous-Fun-9992: TIFU by leaving the door open while masturbating.
I 17m was on my PC late at night like I usually am, and my cat scratches at the door to get in. I my cat in and keep the door open a little so she can get out. At the time I think that I will just close it later. Time goes by and I forget about the door and I start masturbating to porn. I start getting into it and all of a sudden right as I am about to climax I hear screams from my Mom. She woke up to go to the bathroom and saw my door was open so she came inside my room. She could see the porn, my dick, and everything. After she screams I panic and close the porn and cover my dick all while she is still yelling at me. She kept saying stuff like "I didn't raise you like that" "What the hell is wrong with you" "What you are doing is disgusting". All the yelling wakes my Dad up and he convinces her to go to sleep and let it go until tomorrow.
I didn't get much sleep that night being worried about what she was going to do tomorrow. I woke up and went downstairs to see my Parents, grandparents, and uncle all sitting in the living room, they asked me to come sit down and that they wanted to talk. My mom told them all about what she saw and asked them all to come over to do this. They started talking about how it's not healthy, my grandparents kept talking about how it's a sin and that I will go to hell for it. My grandma even started crying. They kept asking me about the porn too, what type of porn it was, I guess they were worried that it was something illegal? I explained to them that it was just normal porn and nothing bad, they said that porn is going to rot my brain. The talk lasted about 40 minutes before they finally left, I kept quiet during most of it except when I was forced to talk. After they left I didn't say anything to my Mom and just went straight to my room. It's been about 2 hours and I still haven't come out or spoken to anyone. I will never trust my Mom again after this.
TL;DR My Mom caught me masturbating and told my grandparents and uncle about it and made them come over to tell me how it's unhealthy and a sin and that I'm going to hell.
hcollector: Sounds like your mom is still stuck in the 1800s. Does she also believe that masturbating makes you go blind and that every sperm is holy?
jaycuboss: 🎼 Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great…. 🎶
stunafish: 🎶*if a sperm is wasted...*
_PossibleSpecialist_: Just store it in a jar under the sink so you can use it later
LloydIrving69: 😂 I remember that. I showed that to my sister and we were both like what the fuck…?
The_Unreliable_94: The.. um.. [MLP](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/pony-cum-jar-project) thread?
LloydIrving69: Nah that looks really weird but not that. Some dude was cumming in a jar when he didn’t have sex with his wife. He misconstrued what she said once. She told him she enjoyed swallowing. He misconstrued that to mean she would be okay having his cum in every dinner. He put cum in food he cooked (I believe he specified it was just when it was him and her). She found the cum jar and once he told her about it she immediately filed for divorce
The_Unreliable_94: That's a lot to take in.. can't really blame her for opting for a divorce.
LloydIrving69: Yeah it’s a big no no. We all make jokes about “secret sauce” but this guy actually did it and did it to someone who didn’t consent, even if it was his wife. He posted about it on Reddit then his wife found the post and it just got even worse
ChaoCobo: >and then his wife found the post and it just got even worse
Oh my god can you PLEASE link me to the thread? Specifically the wife’s response?
LloydIrving69: I’m sorry I am not good at finding old Reddit threads 😅 it was posted around the beginning of august I believe
| 12 | 317.083333 | |
1662986869 | 1662998040 | t3_xcbxsp | t5_2to41 | 60 | shayfores: TIFU by asking my crush about a relationship
I (18m) have a crush on this girl (18f) in my college. So yesterday I expressed my feelings to her by saying that I find her cute and attractive. She blushed, smiled and said thank you. Then I asked her out. She said she'll message me when she reaches home cause she's confused right now. But she didn't message. So I did, asking her out again. She said that it would be awkward cause we have talked only once. So I called her. She said she can't talk right now and she'll call me later. But then she called a day later saying that she was busy with some work.
I was extremely frustrated cause she was not responding clearly. So I was a little passive aggressive in my tone & suddenly asked if she wants a relationship or not. And she said no, she's not looking for it. My friends said IFU bad. Now I regret it cause I still have a crush on her and she seemed interested UNTIL I asked about the relationship. This was my first time asking a girl out and I regret it a lot.
Please tell me how can I make this right. And English is not my first language so sorry for the grammatical mistakes.
Tl;dr - I (18m) asked my crush (18f) about a relationship instead of focusing on just asking her out.
freecain: You can't make things right. She wasn't interested you, and continuing to pester her will not change that fact.
When you asked her out she said she would reach out to you, and she didn't. If she was interested in you, she would have. You didn't even wait a day. And your message doubled down, AFTER she said she was confused. She wanted time to think, because maybe she had been on the fence. That probably pushed her over.
She then tried to soft let you down. That was pretty clear - and "awkward" should have been the bold and highlighted word - she doesn't' feel comfortable with you.
Instead you focused on "talk" and called her. So, now this girl who tried to soft let you down, and has said she doesn't feel comfortable with you is being called by you? She tries to soft let you down again (and avoid confrontation) by saying she will talk later.
She did call you back a day later - so MAYBE at this point she was still on the fence despite the previous day. This part was confusing - why did she call you to tell you she was busy? (If I had to guess, she was again, trying to soft let you down, saying she was too busy to date, not too busy to talk - but we only have your account).
At this point, you probably could have salvaged a friendship. Instead you went agro (I'm guessing she didn't view this as passive aggressive, but straight up aggressive) and asked if she wants to be in a relationship (not even go on a date - you're jumping steps?!?)
In short - you ignored very clear signs she wasn't interested and pressed in ways that would make someone a little interested RUN away. What you should have done was wait for her to reach out to you. If she didn't, continue to be polite and drop the idea of dating her until she gives you some clear sign she's interested in you.
What can you do now? Move on. You're 18, and this is the first person you've ever asked out? Well, you're going to strike out a bunch, so learn to accept a soft no, and not push. Sometimes people really aren't ready to date right now, and if you keep pushing, when they are ready, they won't come back around to you.
shayfores: Wow. Thank you so much for the detailed advice.
Some things- I first asked her if I can call her cause the "no response" was killing me. And she said yes. That's why. And when I called her, she said she was busy and SHE will call later when she's done with the work. And when she called later a day, that's where I went a little agro. After the FU with the relationship asking, she actually offered to be friends, so that's a good thing.
And yes, I agree. I was extremely insensitive and have a lot to learn about relationship ethics.
freecain: Give her space, and yourself space. Don't avoid her, but don't go out of your way to hang out with her either. I remember people doing both the avoidance (which can be viewed as skulking because you didn't get your way) or the full throttle trying to be their best friend when a bit of space is probably better. If you're actually mature, you'll be able to say hi in passing, and not freak out if you have mutual friends you're hanging out with together.
When asking people out - it's best to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. When you get to know a person, especially someone you think is perfect, you'll find there are personality quirks, or interests that just don't mesh. If you're head over heels and they are luke warm, you will get steamrolled into trying to be the perfect person for them... which inevitably fails. If they want to be with you more than you want to be with them, you won't get to know who they really are. If you're both excited, things just work out better. It's not about the perfect person, it's about the person who works perfectly with you.
Last advice dump: If you want to attract people, you have to learn to be the best person you can be. This means learning new things and skills, being interested in people and things around you, and taking time to try to understand what other people are thinking. It doesn't hurt to stay in shape, practice good hygiene and pay attention to how you dress - but don't get obsessed with this either.
shayfores: Dude you're a legend. I'll keep in mind everything you said. Thank you so much.
| 5 | 12 | |
1662990978 | 1662995826 | t3_xcdi09 | t5_2to41 | 99 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my bf I don't like his dad.
[deleted]
BurnedPsycho: >I'm also questioning my overall future with him because he is too attached to his family while I do not see myself being close to anyone but him. Also, he wants to get married, have a family, kids etc. Give his father grandchildren. I don't want kids,
You don't want kids, and he want some... That's a subject to clear at the beginning of a relationship, because that's the kind of irreconcilable incompatibility that breaks relationship.
Do you both a favor and move on.
Interesting-Umpire37: We did discuss it at the very beginning, and he said it wasn't a dealbreaker since he really likes me. However, now I feel that he'd probably be more at peace with someone whose values align more with that of his family's, if not his.
ConferenceOk1110: Having kids or not is a deal breaker in any relationship. It defines yours and his future life. "I really like you" is something that might work if you're madly in love.. but those feelings subsides and then reality checks in..
If he really wants kids and you really don't.. It's better to end it now. It will not last.
Interesting-Umpire37: I believe you're right!
| 5 | 19.8 | |
1663000410 | 1663123078 | t3_xchf3v | t5_2to41 | 1,287 | nosequeponeraquijiji: TIFU by getting drunk and trying kiss everyone
Sorry for my bad English, Spanish is my first language. Me (16F) was on a meet up with some friends and we were planning on drinking. As soon as I arrived, I started drinking. I have a really bad tolerance to alcohol so got drunk really fast, I wasn't the only one drunk there but I was the drunkest. We went out to the park and there I drank more and got really drunk. There I kissed my (16F) friend. We went back to the house of one of the group and while going there I fell to the ground, I was very unconscious. An hour later, after arriving I was still very drunk and I tried to kiss almost everyone, but asking for consent , not just doing it. Some minutes later I choked someone (not really trying to kill them or anything like that) for recording me. I also cut myself playing with a knife some minutes after that. I don't remember much of what happened tho. My friends don't talk to me anymore and ignore me, even the friends that weren't there. I know I really messed up, should I apologize to them or what should I do?
TL;DR : I got really drunk, tried to kiss all my friend group and now they don't talk to me and ignore me, even the ones that weren't there when it happened.
Edit: I apologized, the guy didn't seem to care a lot and told me it wasn't that bad, I asked if I was too aggressive, he told me a little bit but not to worry and that he was ok - My "friends" are still ignoring me, but I think it's the best for them and me
HairyNutsackNumber9: drunk herpes speed run
nosequeponeraquijiji: HAHAHAHA INDEED 😭
Lieutenant_Raepfist: I'd like to add drink a bottle of water between every 2 alcoholic beverages, and learn to pace yourself. It takes a while for the alcohol you drank to truly kick in.
DanteRex: That’s bad advice. He should avoid alcohol at all times. He sounds rapey af and a danger to society. I’ve been dead drunk many times and never did any of those things. Alcohol doesn’t magically make you an ahole, that is already in you, it only enhances it. Alcohol is not a reason to excuse responsibility. Morality still exists when you are drunk.
Lieutenant_Raepfist: OP is female and 16 years old. She has a lot of time to grow and learn. I don't understand how my advice was bad. If you're going to drink at a young age, you should at least learn to do it responsibly. Pacing yourself and staying hydrated is a good start. Partying smart is the way to go.
By the way, I've seen people do some crazy shit while blackout drunk they wouldn't normally do. It can severely alter judgement and perception.
Your entire comment really confuses me.
DanteRex: Because you blame alcohol for the actions of people. This person obviously has deeper issues that were brought out under the influence. They should handle those issues first before drinking at all because they seem to be a danger to themself and others.
I’m sorry if you’re confused. If someone chokes someone to death while drunk, they are still responsible for their actions.
Suspicious_Voice6964: You also don’t understand how alcohol works,if someone gets blackout drunk their brain is not functioning properly giving them little control.
DanteRex: And you don’t understand how morality and laws work. Being black out drunk will not excuse you for being in jail for committing crimes. Sounds like you probably use alcohol as an excuse often for your own idiotic behavior.
Suspicious_Voice6964: I never said it’s an excuse that will get you out of jail. Anyone with eyes and a brain can see that a blackout drunk person can’t control their actions. Genius.
| 10 | 128.7 | |
1663012776 | 1663051935 | t3_xcmgyn | t5_2to41 | 520 | saskiesmf: TIFU by looking in the state patrol tent after a major accident
EDIT: the man killed his wife before committing suicide[UPDATE: man killed his wife prior to his death](https://www.channel3000.com/madison-police-now-investigating-incident-on-west-side-as-homicide/?fbclid=IwAR100hVEW9QF2QLeFDskTF9oq_GH7vXdr_CGvjPmj3TOXT5QFaSve27DUls)
Yesterday, I was stuck on the I-90 for 2+ hours. Not how I wanted to spend my day, but when I was able to watch an entire episode of Breaking Bad at a full stop, I realized whatever happened ahead of us was severe.
Was overjoyed when things finally started moving. I wasn’t the one driving, so once we were passing whatever happened, I was looking around. By this point the incident was over 2 hours ago. But there was no car debris in the road. None.
I then peered in the state patrol’s white tent. Shouldn’t have. I saw a body. Very nauseous, shaken up after that. I haven’t seen a body before
Come to find out this morning, a man had walked in front of a semi. Link attached.
TL;DR Don’t look in white tents after an accident that holds up traffic that long. Don’t.
[article](https://www.channel3000.com/multiple-roads-impacted-by-crashes-across-madison-area/)
Man-Pon: Few years back I lived on the 3rd floor of an apartment that faced the main road. I was on the balcony smoking one night when I saw a motorcycle sliding down the road right under me. Sparks everywhere and then came the tumbling body just sliding and flipping. I ran down and got to her before her two companions made the U turn (there was a long median) as I ran up to her, her forehead was split down the middle completely exposing her brain and it looked to be swelling thru her skull. Her dad slid on his knees in the street and her husband immediately started cpr. Cops came and I went back to my place. Spent the next few hours watching them block off the scene and do their investigating and what not. And she was right under my balcony the whole time just lifeless. Next day a cross popped up on the side of the road with flowers and stuffed animals. Mom of 3. Fucked me up for a while
saskiesmf: Can’t imagine man. Saw an accident right after the incident in my post with a baby with an injury and a stolen car. I’m a paranoid person in general. Makes you think :/
Wataru624: I will never forget the classic security cam footage of the man stealing a car at a gas station, getting nearly to the road, and then swerving back around, leaving the car and blowing up on the person who's car he almost stole because they left their infant in the car lmao.
SturmPioniere: Leave babies in your car if you don't want it stolen. Got it.
Wataru624: "This mom has One Secret Tip child traffickers don't want you to hear. Kidnappers hate her!"
| 6 | 86.666667 | |
1663008776 | 1663032282 | t3_xcky7s | t5_2to41 | 480 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my girlfriend she cannot use my pillow to cry
[deleted]
Formal-Marsupial-588: Yeah, you FU big time.
You're apparently are unaware that pillowcases exist and they can be washed?
Good God, don't have a kid ffs. They're constantly oozing something from whatever orifice.
jfc 🤦♀️
mikaytheeasterbunny: You are taking this wayyyy to seriously my guy. She was trying to ease the tension and throw in a joke to make her girl laugh, i don't think she really meant anything by it. And why bring up having kids? You have no idea if that's in her plan at all, why bring that up?
Formal-Marsupial-588: First off, I'm not "your guy".
Second, holy fxck can ppl not read the room and understand that sometimes a joke really isnt a joke?
Third, if OP is bugged by bodily fluids, ffs don't have kids.
Like, this is legit advice my dude.
KatiePotatie1986: I have nephews and used to babysit. Child puke/poop/snot/etc, is just *whatever* to me, while adult puke/poop/snot/etc is basically vomit-inducing. And I know a *lot* of other parents/adults who feel the same way.
Formal-Marsupial-588: Well I guess call me when the post is about someone taking a shit on a pillow?
ffs
KatiePotatie1986: You said "don't have kids." I was explaining why that was a dumb statement. But apparently you lack reading comprehension skills.
Formal-Marsupial-588: Even more apparent is you being an absolute toolbag. But go off bro.
And again, do et me know when we're talking about someone, *anyone* taking a shit on a pillow.
Mkay?
| 8 | 60 | |
1663016518 | 1663499434 | t3_xco359 | t5_2to41 | 151 | ConfessionCandidate: TIFU by taking home the wrong cat
My cat, Tibbs (a large black, fluffy cat and rather snotty) went missing 3 or 4 months ago now. My step dad had left a window open after just moving into a new house and he escaped from there. Keep note that he's supposed to be chipped and when I first rescued him, he had the most hysterical meow in the world. Had me and my family in stitches on the way home!
2 months into his disappearance, I came across a post on Facebook, a lost and found group for cats that was around 10 miles away which should have been the first warning. It was him, Tibbs. He was very skinny and matted on the post but that's to be expected after being missing for two months and traveling in the UK's extreme heatwave. The poster expressed their concern for this and mentioned that they were petite enough to be female. I didn't buy it.
I messaged the poster right away, certain that it was him. She was very kind and absolutely lovely, sending me pictures of him and notifying me when he was back at her house. I left immediately to retrieve him and once I got there, had him bagged up and got in the car, I noticed something off. I had noticed it before but I was just too excited to get him back.
Once I had started driving, Tibbs was different. His meow wasn't funny, it was normal and once I actually gotten home, he had pissed and shat all in the cat carrier which is entirely unlike him - he's a bold and brave cat.
I took him to the vet 2 days later which isn't my usual vet as I'd just moved house (the reason he got lost in the first place) for a check up since he'd been out on the streets quite a while. I told them all of his information, hoe he was chipped, neutered and well, a boy.
This cat was a not chipped let alone even a boy, she was just a random stray. I was devastated but didn't let on that - the vets didn't even pick up on it as I played it off as just being a mistake of her past owners. They weren't very good vets anyway, they seemed bored and weren't paying attention to most things I said.
I didn't mind, not at first. I was just thrilled to have a cat but that was until today.
Her name remained the same as old Tibbs, just Tibbs as I didn't know what else and again, to not raise any questions but honestly, this cat HATES me. I've been trying my best, I've fed her high quality food, given her space, attention and affection, a ton of toys too but she's just not that type of cat. My family loves her, they do but I don't want her. I want to scream at how stupid I've been, now I have to take care of this cat who doesn't even enjoy my company and would rather stay outside.
I miss Tibbs. I don't know what's happened to him and it's so heartbreaking, what if he's dead? Injured? Alone? I just want him back. I want him to lay on my chest again and purr like mad for no reason just like he used to. I want to hear his silly meows again. I don't want this Tibbs.
TLDR: My cat went missing and I "found" and took home the wrong cat. Thus cat hates me and I just want my boddy back.
Auxkin: Dude give the cat back to whoever rescued it and let them know your mistake so they can keep looking for the actual owner, or post the cat yourself with the details and try to find its rightful owner. The cat clearly misses its old owners just like you miss your cat. How would you feel if Tibbs was scared with a stranger missing you and they just kept him because they couldn't own up to the fact they made a mistake?
ConfessionCandidate: She doesn't HAVE owners that's the thing, that's why I can't give her back to anyone. She wasn't micro chipped and was unhealthy as hell when I picked her up (extremely matted fur). I've searched lost and found pages for anyone missing her, I've posted there but just no sign and the people who gave me her couldn't take her in as they had cats of their own. That's why I imagine she was a stray beforehand as strays are unfortuanately quite common over here
I'm stuck, I would hand her into a shelter but again, my family is perfectly happy with her. I've pushed but they've just called it "a sign" that we should keep her. Excuse me? "A sign"? Genuine nonsense. I'm thinking about just coming forward to a shelter with this cat anyway, tell them the whereabouts she was found so that they can help me find her owners (if she had any). I know this will make my family hate me but I feel as though it's best for this cat and i
FFXIVpazudora: I mean, there's a middle option. Continue to search for your cat, and foster this cat until you find the owners. But it may very well not have any, it might have just been a stray.
If you mean just notifying the shelter you have the cat, not necessarily dropping it off, then tbis would be a good thing to do, even if your family might be sad, if the cat is missed by a family, it would only be right to return it.
If my pet was missing, I'd search forever :/ I don't see how your family could fault you for that.
| 4 | 37.75 | |
1662992725 | 1663122070 | t3_xce7ew | t5_2to41 | 141 | JustTheT1p_0: TIFU by tricking a kid into drinking my excretion.
This TIFU happened back in 2010 but it still weighs on my mind.
Back in 2010 I was in Kabul Afghanistan. Every Thursday and Friday I would spend 12 plus hours in the gun turret of a humvee while we went on many escort missions moving officers and other military personnel from one base or FOB (forward operation base) to another.
Something I need to point out is that the army chow halls over seas are amazing. They feed you like it might be your last meal. (It very well could) Before every mission day at breakfast I make sure I grab a backpack full of Gatorade and rip its ( army version of monster) for my extended road trips.
This is where the FU happened. I had to pee, really bad. I probably drank like 3 Gatorades and 2 cans of rip its by lunch. We can't exactly just pull over and piss in the middle of Kabul city so I just took an empty bottle and filled it up. After I was buttoned back up I did not want to keep a Gatorade bottle of piss because it can look very similar to yellow Gatorade.... You wouldn't want to accidentally drink piss right??
Before I sum this all up I need to explain one more detail to help you understand how all these events became such an unfortunate accident. Many soldiers carry a bag of candy. They throw them to the afghan kids to help keep local relationships good and some times these little kids will warn you of bombs and stuff planted on the side of the road. So very often in small neighborhoods a group of kids will run behind your convoy In a hopes of getting a sucker or some kinda candy or a nice drink.
So holding my piss filled bottle I chucked it behind me not thinking a thing until it dawned on me I made a serious mistake. I looked behind us and sure enough a group of kids were on our tail hoping to get a snack. The fastest little one grabbed that bottle and took a swig before the other local kids could catch up and steal his spoils. The last thing I saw was him spit it out and throw that piss bottle at us before we went around a corner.
If you read this little dude I'm so sorry. It's been 12 years and I still think about this massacre.
TL;DR: I pissed in a bottle and threw it out of my humvee in Afghanistan and a child drank it.
PracticalApartment99: Okay, I was about to be really pissed, because the way you phrased the title makes it sound like you did it on purpose. I’m glad that you didn’t. :)
infini98: Happy cake day!
PracticalApartment99: Thank you.
| 4 | 35.25 | |
1663023837 | 1663070120 | t3_xcr1f6 | t5_2to41 | 8,743 | Thunder-Tiger: TIFU by sending my son’s teacher an explicit picture
[removed]
shankandhosel: I don’t think you know how TL;DR works
peachweasel: TL;DR I think you're right.
nivvera: TL;DR Yes.
BureikuHare: TL;DR indeed.
Seekat_777: TL;DR I agree
ChaoCobo: TL;DR That is something that I can confirm I believe to be true.
Ill_Diamond_1794: TL;DR That is undoubtedly an axiom with which I am most certainly familiar, given the necessary context.
Boj-Act-254: TL;DR I bet he needs to ask the teacher how to use it.
Thin_Combination_669: TL;DR His dong was certainly not long
UncertainlyUnfunny: TL;DR - *tiny lingam, doesn’t Reddit*
| 11 | 794.818182 | |
1663024497 | 1663042494 | t3_xcraaz | t5_2to41 | 9,109 | Defnotanarmy: TIFU by asking about my friend where her little sister was going.
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Due-Profession-3563: Ummm.. What country is this taking place?
ac1084: This stuff is more common than people think in the US too. Ask your female friends if they dated anyone "older older" when they were in school. Or ask any youth pastor lol.
MSCOTTGARAND: My ex's sister was 15 and dating a 24 year old and eventually got pregnant at 16. Her parents were apparently cool with it until he dumped her and they had to take care of a child with a child. Great fuckin parents, boy did I ignore those red flags.
ceitamiot: As a parent, that man or woman would never be found again.
stg103: Seek help.
Edwardteech: You mean like a couple friends and a shovel?
stg103: No, like mental help. You seem to need it. Desperately.
Edwardteech: I'm not the guy you replied to.
Raencloud94: Seems like they may be the ones who need help
Edwardteech: Can't find enough friend's.
| 11 | 828.090909 | |
1663024420 | 1663042764 | t3_xcr9b8 | t5_2to41 | 42 | ftsimou: TIFU by getting caught on my weird kinky act by my brother
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Emmiesmom1969: This started when you were only 7yrs old?
ftsimou: I didn’t know what I was doing ofc, I thought of it as a game then. But yes, I remember clearly cuz my mom caught me and got mad at me.
Emmiesmom1969: Did something happen to you when you were younger or did someone do something to you?
ftsimou: I don't think so
bubba7557: Some children are naturally curious about their bodies with no trauma needed to instigate that curiosity. However, getting shamed when discovered can create feelings of shame or intensify the curiosity. Really sounds like you were a curious kid and mom didn't handle that well. Don't be ashamed of your kinks, but maybe lock the door if you want to keep them private
| 6 | 7 | |
1663027991 | 1663114307 | t3_xcskkm | t5_2to41 | 853 | Little_Increase416: TIFU at important job by having a panic attack
I (M, 35) was going through rough patch in my life. A lot of things went really wrong over last two years, and it was getting worse and worse. My employer want bankrupt, my brother got cancer and I helped him through countless rounds of chemo over two years. He died in pain eventually and I had to organize funeral. Day after funeral russians invaded and I lost everything I had but my wife, dog and a car.
While helping my brother with his sickness I started a business. It was not much, but honest living. My wife got a job in Canada so we moved here. I lived in Canada before, so adjusting is was not that hard.
Things at my business went south. It slowly degrades, and I am under constant stress to provide for my family. Wife is very stressed at work. It does not pay too much and she has very hard times as it consists of mostly meetings and while her English is fine, it is very mentally taxing for her to speak and listen it whole day. Also, holding 3-5 hour meetings a day is hard.
So anyway. I started looking for a job and found amazing opportunity. Company was looking for someone to basically run internal department same as my business. It is great job, with 5 times wife and I makes today. Large corporation, with clear career path, bonuses, benefits... Some stability I desperately need this days.
Everything went amazing. I blazed through half a dozen interview and just had my last interview with 'leadership'. So, all goes great, we have nice energy, I answer typical behavioral questions and interviewer asks about some challenge in life and how I overcame it. So I try to say how I started my own business but choke up. Words just doesn't leave my throat and all I can think of are last years - lost home, withering brother, friends dead by war. So I was unable to speak for couple moments, heavy breathing, sweating. I am not well. Asked myself out to bathroom and threw up. Only other time something like this happened was before a high stakes test at school. I returned to the meeting in a minute but chemistry was way off after and we wrapped up quickly.
Later HR called me to tell that they decided not to go through with my application.
That's that. I don't know how to tell my wife, she'll be home soon.
TL;DR
I had panic attack at important interview hoping to turn around my life after couple years descent.
Icy-Goat: I’m sorry the past few years have been so hard. I’d give this company an email including anyone you met along the process (interviewers, HR dept) and explain what you said here. That the question reminded you of the past few years, give a brief overview, and explain that you’d love the chance to interview again.
Little_Increase416: Thanks so much for kind words and advice.
RicLan26: You got this! We all are rooting for you to get the job, best of luck!!
HitMeWThatMemeShit: yes OP!!! please update us!!
| 5 | 170.6 | |
1663033353 | 1663042770 | t3_xcuisw | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my bf c*m on his own face
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mekanub: At least his skin will be nice and soft
persistentpoppy: Wait what?? Tell me more
9th-man: Sperm is great for the skin.
persistentpoppy: Oh, go figure!
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1663034127 | 1663045279 | t3_xcustv | t5_2to41 | 20 | Sunnie_Flowers: TIFU : by not washing my hands well enough..
The other night my bf 22 (M) and I 22 (F) we’re making dinner. On this night, we decided to make spaghetti and we decided we were going to make the sauce at home instead of buying the sauce you usually buy in the can at the store. We had already planned on doing this days in advance so we had all the ingredients from the tomato’s to the onions and so on.
I am a mail carrier and had been given 3 different types of peppers the day before from a customer. Not knowing what kind of peppers these were, I asked my bf if he wanted to use them in the spaghetti when we make it. We both enjoy spicy foods, so of course he agreed!
Fast forward to the next day:
We get out our ingredients to make dinner. The Tomatoes to be boiled, deskinned, and cut in half. The peppers to be sliced thin and deseeded. Mind you we only used maybe 4 slices of each pepper. So anyways, we cut the onions and mushrooms and add them to the pan. We boil everything in the pan along with the other odds and inns ingredients you need to make spaghetti sauce. Then we boil the water for the noodles and cook the sausage, put everything together and eat dinner.
After dinner we hang out, watch tv and he plays his game. As this is happening we started messing around. He touches me and things start to get a little handsey. We both know where this is heading so we get ready to do the do and really show eachother how good dinner was. 😉😉
I notice something a little weird going on down there in my girl parts and ask my boyfriend if he washed his hands after dinner. He says yes and we wait a moment trying to think about what might be going on with me. I get worried and ask him to wash his hands again and I wipe myself off.
Afterwards, we reluctantly try and continue. AND Then… EVERYTHING started to burn! On us both!! Nervous, we RUN our asses to the shower, and jump in. We wash and rinse everything thoroughly, multiple times. As this is going on, my bf starts screaming.. “MY EYE.” He got it in his fucking eye!! I’m just standing here watching him in pain trying to help him whatever way I can. Eventually we get everything to stop burning. When we get out we wipe everything off and wear our robes to let everything.. Yanno ‘air dry’ 🤷🏼♀️
Both of us are exhausted at this point, so we go upstairs and lay down. Since we were wearing our robes we’re practically undressed laying skin on skin. Of course we try again.. because why wouldn’t our horny asses! It’s going good, we’re both enjoying ourselves until.. one of us starts burning AGAIN. For the last time we wipe off and lay down and don’t try anything for the rest of the night.
Lesson learned.. WEAR GLOVES IF YOURE COOKING especially IF YOURE COOKING WITH PEPPERS
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
TLDR; Made spaghetti sauce with spicy peppers, got spicy with partner, hands were not de-peppered well enough and burning ensued. Reluctantly we tried 3 times before we gave up. Because of this we had to take a shower and wipe off multiple times. Although we didn’t learn our lesson the first two times we sure as hell did the third time around.
f1del1us: You put your onions and mushrooms in at the same time?
Sunnie_Flowers: We didn’t use mushrooms and onions
f1del1us: > So anyways, we cut the onions and mushrooms and add them to the pan.
Sunnie_Flowers: Idk where you got that from
f1del1us: You literally don't even recognize your own words? Lol
Sunnie_Flowers: I didn’t even post anything
f1del1us: [LOL](https://youtu.be/b0mOY7OMHh4?t=179)
summercampcounselor: Wtf is all this? Did they copy and paste from somewhere else and not even read it?
Creinium13: This is the kind that’ll legit accuse you of cheating because she dreamt it.
My friends, we are dealing with a level 10 psycho hose beast.
mobosin: Wtf you mean you didn't use onions? This statement is fundamentally wrong, both in cuisine and in reading comprehension.
| 11 | 1.818182 | |
1663036153 | 1663059413 | t3_xcvj3v | t5_2to41 | 103 | Mountain_Air_8228: TIFU by trusting my spouse & best friend
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NixxyTheKitty: This exact thing happened to me a year ago, but idk if your partner was physically screwing around with them, but mine was. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
My husband cheated on the day of our wedding anniversary with my friend. Tried to fuck her in my mom's minivan of all places lol. Did everything but the actual fucking. Apparently she has a forever period which is the only thing that stopped her from letting him. Idk.
Well a year later and things look very different for us. Things have been a lot better, surprisingly. Only recently, though. I don't know what my point is other than I feel your pain and I'm so sorry. I really hope things get better for you. I'm a recluse these days. People generally suck. Everyone only seems to care about what feels good in the moment regardless of consequences.
Edit: changed from "husband" to "partner" when referring to OP's partner. Not sure why I thought it specified gender. My bad OP
wetspaghetti420: Super interesting, I assumed OP was a man and spouse was F, but hey you know what they say about assuming
NixxyTheKitty: Oof now I feel bad. I don't think the post specified. My bad if I assumed OP. Definitely a moment of projecting there.
Mountain_Air_8228: No need to feel bad, I kept the genders neutral on purpose. Let's just say out of the two couples involved (mine & my friends), there was both a wife & husband involved. So either way, everyone is essentially correct!
| 5 | 20.6 | |
1663064937 | 1663065849 | t3_xcxo91 | t5_2to41 | 4 | BacilQadir715: Bruh you do know that she killed herself to put it bluntly
Laue: Claimed to want to. Am I supposed to feel empathy for some random mean woman who alienated her own family on her own free will.
And instead of trying to make amends, decides it's easier to just die.
Hell, this might just be creative writing and the author is amused by the responses.
NotBreaking: However mean it might sound, but I do agree with you. We dont have the whole story, and one slap is definitely not the reason your husband did this. So instead of being a coward and going the easy way, be an adult and fix things. Get help.
Laue: I am of belief that not only this is not mean, it is rational. Be wary of stories which try to get an emotional response out of you, but try to present themselves as nonfiction.
NotBreaking: Agreed.
BacilQadir715: I generally would agree with you
BacilQadir715: However this one seems different
| 7 | 0.571429 | |
1663043116 | 1665454052 | t3_xcxvuz | t5_2to41 | 126 | SchZoe: TIFU by submitting a summative without realizing it was a summative
I (17F) am a senior in high school and only need 1 history credit left until I have everything I need to graduate.
For my final history credit I decided to take US history. On Friday, our teacher assigned us a simple assignment to create a social media presence for a founding father of our choosing and I chose Benjamin Franklin, there wasn’t a specific reason as to why I chose him, I just decided too because I thought it would be easiest. For the social media presence I decided to make him a Twitter and a Facebook page (these accounts obviously don’t exist we used websites called “Twister” and “Fakebook”).
Here’s where I f-ed up, I decided to take a fun approach to most of the tweets and Facebook posts. Although, I did base it around true facts, I used non- school- appropriate language which in the end I regret deeply. I decided to add hashtags as well because I feel like Benjamin Franklin would pop off. One of the tweets read as followed “Found a fine lady in Paris, don’t tell milady back home #affair #Syphilis” and “Wtf George Washington read my pigeon note I wanna know if the war is popping off #bluecoat #throwthetea” and here’s one in which I was taking a picture of for my friends in which I saw the summative word in the title of my, teacher created, slideshow.
“Just tied a key to a kite and saw a bright flash #shittingmyknickers”
TL;DR: I used inappropriate language in a summative assignment in which I was supposed to take seriously, but did not.
grinning_imp: That. Fucking. Rocks!
Benny F *was* like that.
I would give you an A.
SchZoe: I got an A+
grinning_imp: Fuck yeah! Way to go!
| 4 | 31.5 | |
1663043211 | 1663123385 | t3_xcxwxh | t5_2to41 | 4,305 | beepmeepsploop: TIFU by leaving butter out
This happened today and I am currently dealing with the aftermath. I wanted to bake some banana bread this evening, which calls for a stick of butter at room temperature. I left a stick, in the wrapper, on the counter and left for work thinking nothing of it.
I have a bengal cat that loves all food and gets into everything and anything. I’m usually very good at not leaving things out for him to get into but today I just didn’t think about it. I got a text this afternoon from my husband who is wfh saying that he was very snuggly and not eating his lunch and to make sure I kept an eye on him while he goes out with a friend tonight. As soon as I got home I gave the cat some scritches, noticed he was eating a bit and got started getting my mise en place. Where tf is the butter? This is where I realized my fu. I looked down and saw a butter wrapper licked clean. I quickly googled if cats can eat too much butter (not great, but not vet worthy) and steeled myself for a messy litter situation.
So tonight, while my husband enjoys seeing the Gorrilaz with his friend, I’ve been cleaning up buttered shits and washing my cats ass. Cat is currently snuggled on my lap, still butter drunk. This will be a long night. The smell of butter hits different now.
Tl;dr: cat ate a whole stick of butter and it has to end up somewhere.
Edit: can’t forget the cat tax. Pic of the face of regret last night and sleeping it off this morning
https://imgur.com/gallery/N0IDZQX
superstitious722: We had one of the dogs get into a tub of Vaseline. Thoughts and prayers lmao
VegQuaker: Ex boyfriend's dog ate a tub of Vaseline and some coffee grounds from the trash in the same night.
Oh lordy
AndrewFrozzen: Was that coffee beans or powder?
I'm just curious that's all... Tho that's fucked up, I hope it is fine now!
WesternDramatic3038: Sounds like it was some used coffee grounds
VegQuaker: Correct.
That dog ate so many things and was able to get into allegedly dog proof things.
Stomach of steel. RIP Emma
WesternDramatic3038: Had a 13 lb smooth fox terrier consume a 3oz bar of 90% dark chocolate, and not only did he not throw it up no matter what we did, he shat it out peacefully that night like it was nothing. I don't understand dogs, man. He lived 8 years after that still, to the ripe old age of 19 before finally passing to a stroke. Miss the rat bastard
ZiggyWiddershins: I had a little 13 pound dog that ate one of those very large Hershey bars (not sure of weight, but larger than two king size bars).
Forced her to swallow a couple capfuls of hydrogen peroxide (at the advisement of the vet). Puked it all up. Lived another 5 years.
VegQuaker: This dog ate little light bulbs out of a decoration and none broke and she pooped some bright ideas 💡 on the lawn.
Also ripped out some old flooring and ate a little.
Everything was edible to her and she never had the expected troubles from it. She amazed the vet and lived to an old age and died peacefully from old age.
ZiggyWiddershins: Yeah, some animals eat anything. One of my current cats swallowed a hair tie of my daughter’s. We saw a black hair tie hanging from the ol’ balloon knot and pulled it the rest of the way out. Heard a little snap from the stretch of pulling it out and a little yelp from the kitty.
She’s okay months later. Probably important to keep small things out of reach of cats. And in regard to hair ties, the ones without metal are probably best to prevent sores and scrapes in the intestinal tract.
Edit: a word.
| 10 | 430.5 | |
1663039170 | 1663070152 | t3_xcwk7r | t5_2to41 | 92 | SkatesandNails: TIFU by suggesting bridges and towers.
Tonight (9/12), my son had his first night of middle school robotics. The kids didn’t have access to the shop but needed to 'build something' in the remaining 2 hours they had. They only had paper.
When searching for ideas, I suggested to my son (under my breath because parents aren't supposed to help) a bridge or a tower. I had done team building activities of building the highest or strongest tower at work and thought it could be fun for the kids.
Right off the bat, the kids didn't like the idea of a bridge and decided to make towers. Half of the team jumped on this idea.
The rest of the kids hated this idea and decided they wanted to make airplanes.
Then someone decided it would be fun to fly the airplanes into the towers.
They re-created 9/11.
After a few minutes, they actually realized this and started chanting 9/11! 9/11!
TL;DR I suggested a middle school robotics team build paper bridges or towers to work on some engineering skills and they recreate 9/11 by adding airplanes to crash into their towers. Then they cheered.
true_suppeee: Take a look at Arduinos. They are cheap microcontrollers that can be used to make robots.
laplongejr: From what I understand, they weren't allowed to use electronics? I don't get what the robotics class was meant to be
GrimResistance: https://imgur.com/KBVihRd.jpg
| 4 | 23 | |
1663050391 | 1663052324 | t3_xd01gs | t5_2to41 | 12 | Outrageous-Prompt-36: TIFU by giving out my snap while in a relationship
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LukasKhan_UK: Where was the lie? You broke up with your boyfriend and some guy took a picture of a party?
Outrageous-Prompt-36: For context we broke up after the party occurred for unrelated reasons. My only worry is the fact I “technically” gave out my Snapchat because I was still in a relationship. But technically didn’t since we had had eachother on snap for 5 years.
LukasKhan_UK: Yeah, still don't get it
Outrageous-Prompt-36: Yea I get it it’s a little confusing. I just had wanted to see other peoples opinions on it
LukasKhan_UK: Opinions on what?
There is no fuck up. You were already acquainted with the guy on Snapchat, and he took a picture of a party.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Outrageous-Prompt-36: Do you think by saying what my name was after he asked for my Snapchat was a wrong thing at all?
LukasKhan_UK: No. He already had you on Snapchat.
Outrageous-Prompt-36: Thank you for your opinion it’s had helped me feel tremendously better
| 9 | 1.333333 | |
1663048269 | 1663455058 | t3_xczfuq | t5_2to41 | 318 | TreeSapTrish: TIFU by yelling "FREEZE SPELL!!" at a stranger at our gym.
So I (23f) climb at a gym, and just to set the mood, i was wearing a witchy hat and black almost medieval style dress (i don't dress like this often). Important to note, i have incredibly bad hearing, and probably should've done something about it by now. After climbing, my boyfriend (25m) and I were talking about LARP (Live action role play, basically hitting people with fake swords), and we were complaining about spells usage and how boring it is for someone to just yell "FREEZE SPELL!" A bunch, and the other person has to just sit out of combat for a minute or whatever, and it's just boring.
Now. There was a man nearby, and i thought he was listening to our conversation, and he said something to me, which i thought to be "true that!". And in my mind, i was like oh, he gets it. And I'm really social, and comfortable talking to strangers, so I turned and included him in the conversation. I said "Yeah, right?! Like "Oooh freeze spell!" And now you can't do anything. Isn't that boring??" The guy kinda looked confused,
My less social boyfriend apparently started walking away in embarrassment, unwilling to endure this painful scene. The guy said something, i don't know what, and we parted ways with a friendly "G'night!" And i went on my merry way to catch up with my boyfriend, not thinking anything of what just happened. We wanted to look at Gri Gri's (climbing gear), so i thought he just really wanted to go look at them, and that's why he left.
Once i got over to the climbing supplies section, he looked at me really funny, and said "That guy had no idea what you were taking about." I was like, "what do you mean?" And once he replied, my soul left my body. He said:
"The only thing he said to you was "nice hat""
I haven't been so embarrassed since highschool when my ex flashed my whole ass to our Japanese teacher.
AND. And. When we were walking to our car, the guy was getting into his, and he said something to us as we walked by, and i (completely not knowing what he said), confidently said "have a good night! :)" And got in our car. Upon getting in the car, my boyfriend was giggling, and i said "what?" And he just says "he said, "bye Wizard!"" And i couldn't help but think it's hilarious at this point. I need hearing aids.
Edit: i didn't wear the dress and hat climbing, it's what i was wearing to work, and i changed to climb, changed back to leave.
Reason for witchy attire: it was my mom's dress and i love it, and the hat looks really good with it for obvious reasons lol
TL;DR:
I yelled "FREEZE SPELL" at a stranger, thinking we were bonding over a hatred of LARP spellcasters, but he was actually complimenting my hat, and now he just thinks I'm a wizard.
Hiro4ntagonist: I think we need to hear the story about with the Japanese teacher next
TreeSapTrish: That one's a pretty big fuck up T_T
ifuckedyourgf: What subject did she teach?
TreeSapTrish: ... is that a real question?
ifuckedyourgf: You don't have to say, I was just curious.
TreeSapTrish: Sorry sorry, i was just confused because i said he was a Japanese teacher lol i thought you were trolling
| 7 | 45.428571 | |
1663052396 | 1663078738 | t3_xd0keu | t5_2to41 | 0 | alvitooo: TIFU by asking my bf to show me his penis
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MillennialToast0: You're dating a literal child? I can't think of anything more childish than asking to see a "willy" as if you were 8 years old and on the playground.
alvitooo: actually no bc british ppl say willy even when they’re adults
Ill_Diamond_1794: Can confirm. They really don't...
Edit: Source: British Adult Male...
alvitooo: u can not answer for all of them, i hear it a lot but maybe u don’t say it
Ill_Diamond_1794: I mean, it might be a local dialect thing but I can near guarantee that 95% of the male population dont say willy when referring to their dick, cock, nob, todger, pecker or wood lol
alvitooo: okay that might be true
| 7 | 0 | |
1663058267 | 1663063384 | t3_xd245k | t5_2to41 | 6 | six6ofspades: TIFU by cheating on my bf
My boyfriend S and I have been together for less than a year, it’s been a rocky relationship but good all together, I love him very dearly but he has one flaw, he is a very very very bad kisser, I’ve been trying to improve his kissing abilities but it’s just not working he still is very bad at kissing, (I’ve told him before too but he is just not improving) he also has a very busy schedule bc of college and we don’t really see each other too much, the thing is that I was at a party today and this guy O who I’ve found very atractive for a while started talking to me (mind I was sorta very drunk) and one thing led to another and we made out at in the bathroom. I feel so bad and I’ve told a friend who’s advice was to see what I wanted better but I really really really like both in different ways, I like O in a carnal way and S in a sentimental way and I kinda wanna keep them both. what should I do?
Update: most of you will be relived to know that him and I broke up today. I told him what happened and we were on the phone for about two hours, we cried we laughed I apologized (a lot) and we decided that we still love each other but maybe we just weren’t fit, we decided to stay best friends, I explained how it was all purely my fault and how he deserved someone better than me who shared more things w him than I do, I’ve convinced him that not all woman are shit and encouraged him to explore more and meet someone else, there’s no hard feelings we really love each other and even tho I’m still sad and hate my self for what happened I think things played out the way they were meant to and it’s all fine! And for the people sending me death threats and saying real mean shit, yes I fucked up and I accept it but I don’t think it’s okay to say stuff like that on the internet, you don’t know anything about the person in the other side of the screen, please don’t say this stuff as it’s harmful and it may end in a tragedy sometime. With all of that said thanks for the genuine help I revived y’all are amazing!
TL;DR: I cheated on my bf and I don’t know who I like anymore
kalysti: I understand how you feel, but there's no excuse for cheating on your partner. There's no excuse for hiding it from him, either. Best to sit down, tell him what happened and why. He might finally understand what you need from him and let you show him what to do. He might get angry and break up with you. He might ignore it and nothing will change.
Your friend is right, though, that you need to make some choices, yourself. Don't continue to cheat on someone you care about.
six6ofspades: I just don’t have the heart to do so, I’m his first gf and he’s one to think one partner for life I love him so so much really but being w him has become much of a routine, I just don’t want to ruin his life and O has been real sweet w me checking if I got home okay and talking to me about how he likes me and flattering me but he does have a history of cheating so idk
Ill_Diamond_1794: Kind of ironic you talking about history of cheating in negative connotations dont ya think?
six6ofspades: No yeah that absolutely came out wrong, it sounded hypocritical af, is just that I can’t find a life partner in O bc of this since it makes me sorta insecure, I absolutely take full credit in my actions and I’m totally TA is just me not finding stability in O
Ill_Diamond_1794: Fully understand that. Echoing the words of others. Leave S, but be totally honest as to what's happened and why. He deserves the closure as much as it would hurt.
Fuck O if you have to to satisfy the carnal urge, its most likely curiosity of being being with someone else as opposed to anything deeper honestly.
Find a whole new partner that isn't either of them but share both qualities
| 6 | 1 | |
1663064450 | 1663091250 | t3_xd3sib | t5_2to41 | 29,410 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my virginity when I was 31, now a decade later still paying for it.
[deleted]
Gibbydoesit: I thought it was child support lol anyone else?
HollyTokelightly: The relief I felt when reading that it’s just a never ending infection and not a child… 😅
tisnik: Right?! Would cost much more money and much more problems.
Vidimus_Vicimus: As a father, I'd much rather have a child. Long term medical issues are not cheap. While children aren't either, they are a never-ending source of joy. Worth every penny.
Yeah, they might get on your nerves at times. But they won't keep you from getting laid like a decade long yeast infection would. They might cause embarrassment, but nothing like dropping your trousers and scaring away a woman with the smell. They will cause you pain also, but nothing close to the physical and mental pain this person is dealing with.
Edit: since apparently it needs to be said, there is nothing wrong with not wanting kids. I was speaking from personal experience and with my preferences in mind, obviously.
bismuth92: Your children don't keep you from getting laid? Huh. Mine do. By the time we get them into bed, we're too exhausted to have sex.
Vidimus_Vicimus: Of course she does lol. But not as much as OP's issue would. I have 50/50 joint custody and a busy work schedule. Makes it hard to date but I just plan things when she is with her mother.
bismuth92: Fair, I wasn't trying to criticize, just making a joke about parenting.
Vidimus_Vicimus: All good! Kids are definitely exhausting. How old are yours? If you don't mind my asking. My daughter is 7 and somehow insanely sweet. Polar opposite of myself as a child. I was a little smartass.
bismuth92: I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old. They're darlings, but bedtime can be a real struggle especially if my wife is not home and I'm doing it alone.
Vidimus_Vicimus: You are in the thick of it! At times I miss that age but I definitely prefer a little older. Pretty cool to have full conversations with someone you helped create.
That being said, it's also nice when they can't walk! I struggled getting ours to sleep also. That bond they have with mom is strong. But that may change down the line! Mine is a daddy's girl now.
Best of luck to you both. Parenting is tough but so rewarding! (I'm preaching to the choir)
| 11 | 2,673.636364 | |
1663064303 | 1663313792 | t3_xd3qyx | t5_2to41 | 115 | LoveHurtsLiterally: TIFU writing love letters to a girl
Throwaway account. Recent events have taught me it's better for me to remain as anonymous or under the radar as possible.
Yesterday at school I executed my plan to steal the heart of a girl in my class. I kept it old school and wrote several anonymous love letters that were signed with a different letter of my name. I made sure to be in every class before any of the students or teachers so I could secretly plant the letters where neccessary. My crush found the first love letter under her desk and immediately shared it with her friends. I tried to look as innocent as possible because I could see them scanning the room for potential suspects. I was easily overlooked. I'm a nobody at school.
Planting the other love letters became an extremely stressful experience because the girls were on the lookout for suspicious activity. I managed to plant 2 more love letters and together it revealed 3 letters of my name at that point. Based on those 3 letters, my crush believed she knew exactly who it was. She was completely wrong, but the guy she confronted happened to have the same letters in his name and he harrassed her before. The two of them got into an explosive argument in class and forced our teacher to send them to the principal's office. My crush returned to class alone. The other guy was sent home.
I had more love letters left, but for obvious reasons I could no longer continue. I went home feeling really guilty for not telling the truth. I couldn't even sleep. I knew what had to be done, so this morning I decided to go to the principal and come clean. He called my crush and the other guy (who was now back at school) to his office and explained the situation. I awkwardly apologized and that was the end of it. On our way to class, my crush said I wasn't her type at all and the other guy promised to fuck me up.
*TL:DR I wrote several anonymous love letters to a girl in my class and indirectly framed another student who ended up getting into trouble with my crush and eventually the principal. I confessed to writing the letters and now my crush has made it clear she's not interested in me whereas the other guy made it clear he intended to hurt me.*
GsTSaien: Do not confess to people like this, meet people first. It is ok to have a crush, but you don't love this girl you barely know her.
You should first try spending time with someone you are interested in, and then you can make a move if you are interested and feel chemistry. What that is depends on context but you can always go for something safe like asking out on a date. The trick is to already have a bit of chemistry and not be a total stranger coming up to someone and telling them you love them.
Lifedeath999: Sorry, I can kind of be a social idiot, but as someone with zero relationship experience, do you think you could explain what the big difference between a love letter, and asking someone on a date is? They sound the same to me.
Hairy-Pirate111: the problem is that he’s confessing to someone that doesn’t even know he exists
Lifedeath999: But how is that different than asking a stranger out on a date? I’m not even trying to argue here, I’m just legitimately confused.
Hairy-Pirate111: the anonymity is creepy. its like trying to confess to a stranger online but worse. knowing that someone that you don’t know has been watching you for long enough that they fell in love with you is just unsettling. you can’t tell if it’s a prank, a trap, or some kind of sicko that can’t show his face. in the first place, confessing with anonymity says a lot about your character already and it doesn’t look very good especially if the recipient doesn’t know you.
Lifedeath999: You know, that makes sense. I hadn’t considered that. I think of letters as having a known sender, but as this post clearly shows, that’s not necessarily the case.
| 7 | 16.428571 | |
1663072658 | 1663767253 | t3_xd6f06 | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on a Tinder threesome date
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Curious_Bag_579: Finally. Glad you made it out alive
Born-Watercress7043: Hey, what happened???? Please lol
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1663075963 | 1663130715 | t3_xd7pai | t5_2to41 | 11 | Reddit-is-anonymous-: [ Removed by Reddit ]
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Yivanna: If all of this is accurate you are perceived apropriatly.
Reddit-is-anonymous-: Yeah, I posted all of the details because this is reddit and who cares.
Most girls act civally with me, so I was surprised.
It is what it is I guess
RingsOfPowerAMA: They act civil because they're afraid of you
Reddit-is-anonymous-: I doubt it. I am tiny, and have no power. I am smaller than 85 percent of males my age
If they are afraid of me, then so be it. Doesn't affect me.
BTW: my definition if civil is uneccary contact. Some girls willingly engage in contact with me. This is rare but still happens
In the beginning of the year girls used to try to talk to me but i terminated all conversations with girls in the school.
One girl asked me how my day was and when i didnt respond she seemed sad. We were waiting in a line. She didn't have to talk.
Also nice username
RingsOfPowerAMA: You're completely oblivious to the danger you pose.
Reddit-is-anonymous-: Hmm?
Answer as to why they interacted with me. Because i have been pondering at that, and am curious myself
RingsOfPowerAMA: You've been suspended lol
YoghurtSafe1577: what was the post about?
RingsOfPowerAMA: Essentially how much of a creep they are to women but it was like they saw it but it didn't register as a bad thing. They made threats to women and acted surprised and annoyed it was taken seriously.
| 10 | 1.1 | |
1663084520 | 1663194758 | t3_xdb8qy | t5_2to41 | 552 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting my job before my wife while her grandfather-in-law is on his deathbed
(For context, my (28M) wife (31F) has some significant physical disabilities on top of serious anxiety and PTSD, which has made it difficult for her to find and hold down a job--even working from home or doing side gigs has not been fruitful. She only recently got full-time (temp to hire) work while I've been holding the fort for nearly a year with my job and Doordash. We have a lot of expenses to cover (rent, utilities, student loans, groceries, stuff for our cats, credit card bills, car repairs, a friend's wedding we RSVP'd to and a gift for said wedding...) and our savings are nearly gone from us being in the red so often despite it all. Our days are demonstrably numbered if only one of us is working, even with how much I make; this has led me to some serious "work first" tendencies that are hard to shake. Also, we have only one car and I'm the only one with a license, so I need to take her to and from work)
Anyway, the incident: my wife's grandfather is on his deathbed, and she needs me there for emotional support when she says goodbye. Her family has a long and documentable history of abuse but she wants to be the bigger person basically. Last night I called my supervisor, told him about the situation and that I don't know if/how this will affect my schedule this week, and he just said to keep him posted as soon as I hear anything.
My wife tried everything to reach her boss, even driving back to her workplace several towns over, and still didn't hear back. Because we didn't hear back from her boss, we didn't know if she was still required to come in today. So I woke up assuming it was business as usual just to be safe. I got dressed, fed the cats, etc while waiting for her. She came into the kitchen still in her PJs waiting to hear back from her boss, at a time when normally she would be ready, and let me know to put her lunch back in the fridge for later.
Only then did I realize, "shit, she really is out today." I called my supervisor as we came out the door to let him know I would be late coming in. Then the argument started; she thought I called out of work already. I told her I still need to go into work to make ends meet regardless of what happens. She said that it didn't matter and that I need to be there for her emotionally. (I had also put my new job first when her other grandfather passed away, but she mostly let it go since I was still establishing myself there.) I offered to call my boss up and tell him I need an emergency day off, but she said the damage with her was already done because I had failed to listen the first time. We kept going back and forth until we got to her workplace.
While she was in there, true to my word, I called my supervisor back. In my haste to rectify the situation I had said the GFIL had died, and I don't know if that will come back to bite me on Thursday (see below). Either way he said it was no problem. My wife came back to the car, saying she had caused a scene when she broke down crying and is worried this will affect how others in the office will perceive her (but said her coworkers could vouch for her).
Following a silent trip home, my mother-in-law (one of the only decent people from her side of the family, currently staying with us for a few weeks) was confused to see us, thought we would be at work...and tells us we're unable to see the GFIL until Thursday anyway. So not only was what I did thoughtless, not only do I need to ask for Thursday off as well, what we went through this morning was ultimately futile. My wife and I ended up in another argument where she said I cared more about money than our marriage.
Part of me thinks she may be right; this wasn't the first time. In October 2020 our new cat got a small laceration on his toe, she had to bring him to the vet, I couldn't call out of work, I had to have my best friend drive her that morning. Our cat turned out okay but she still needed me there for emotional support--and I couldn't be there because, as the sole breadwinner even back then, I put making money first. She has never let me forget that.
But I remember one day back in May 2017, a few months after we started dating, she was getting thrown out of her father's home. As soon as she messaged me, I immediately called out of work and came to her rescue, consequences be damned. Sure, I was living with my parents at the time, but I am clearly not the same person I was back then. I really doubt just how selfless or emotionally mature I actually am, especially compared to back then. When so much of yourself changes over time, does your partner still love the same person?
For her sanity and mine, I think I need to seriously consider getting a separation before I do any real, permanent damage. I've come too close to that before.
TL;DR: Father in law is dying, we don't know exactly when, wife took work off to see him, I let my boss know what was going on, due to miscommunication and my failure to listen I did not explicitly ask for the day off until this morning, things blew up because I prioritized money. There is a precedent where I did the same thing, but when we first started dating I did the right thing in a similar situation, and I'm considering bowing out with what dignity I still have left.
wgm4444: This honestly doesn't sound like you have a relationship with a functional adult.
TheDeathOfAStar: I will say for certain that I would take any kind of relationship over being alone, ever. OP was living with his parents, and we all should know what living with our parents does to our confidence in finding a partner, especially as a male.
Toxic relationships be damned, they're better than being alone.
&#x200B;
P.S. I would edit this, but I'll refrain considering I misspoke. I didn't catch my own hiccups:
I meant a "toxic relationship" to be a non-abusive one. Mistake 1
This choice was supposed to be implied as forever. Mistake 2
oopsie
Wardides: > Toxic relationships be damned, they're better than being alone.
No?? No, they are demonstrably not.
I'm sorry to say, if you would *actively* choose a toxic relationship over no relationship when you have the choice of either, you have some attachment issues.
TheDeathOfAStar: You guys like to connect dots that don't exist so it can fit your narrative.
If you *only* had two choices that: To live life completely alone, or to live life in a toxic relationship, you would choose to be alone?
I really wonder how many of you have ever known what being alone is like. Perhaps I worded it wrong, but it wasn't really something I thought about when commenting.
iamnogoodatthis: By "completely alone" you just mean without a romantic partner - you can still have friends and family you know. And yes, I would choose to be fairly happy alone rather than miserable with someone awful
TheDeathOfAStar: >By "completely alone" you just mean without a romantic partner
No
> you can still have friends and family you know.
Thanks!
>And yes, I would choose to be fairly happy alone rather than miserable with someone awful
Completely alone is pretty self-descriptive here so, no.
iamnogoodatthis: But why is that the choice? Is there only one other person on earth?
TheDeathOfAStar: It's a metaphor meant to question our own mortality, but it was misconstrued.
If there was only one other person on earth, and that person was toxic (but not abusive in any way), would you choose to be alone or together? Together as in a romantic relationship.
iamnogoodatthis: That's pretty contrived and not very relevant to everyday life (what is toxic in this post apocalypse survival scenario?) but I'd probably at least try with them. We can always take a break and come back to each other, so long as condoms remain effective - not risking that until we have the whole survival thing figured out.
TheDeathOfAStar: You're right, thanks for being a decent person about it.
| 11 | 50.181818 | |
1663087693 | 1663097975 | t3_xdckzp | t5_2to41 | 137 | Nanski4747: TIFU by losing all my friends in a single day
Today I fucked up by losing all my friends in a single day. Let me explain. So, I’ve had this online friend group for a little over 6 years now at this point, and I’d think it’s safe to call them my closest friends. One day, we met this girl, let’s call her, Jessica. Jessica was a little shy at first but slowly came out of her shell, and eventually worked up the courage to ask me out. This was around February of 2021. I wasn’t surprised that she did because she had been flirting with me for over two months beforehand. Anyways, I say yes, and we end up dating for about a week before I broke things off with her because I didn’t feel ready for a relationship at the time, as I was severely depressed.
I end up meeting this girl, let’s call her Nena, around a month later and we start dating. Nena breaks things off with me about a month later, and that was a nasty breakup but that’s a whole different story. Fast forward to about August of 2021, Jessica and I start getting close again, but at the same time I was talking to another girl, who ironically had the same exact name as her. So, Jessica #1 tells my best friend at the time that she still had a crush on me, and I told my best friend that I’m not sure of who I liked and who I didn’t. And then I started dating Jessica #2, but it didn’t feel right like at all. I told myself to give it a month or two and see how things end up. At the end of those two months things still didn’t feel right to me, I didn’t have an attraction towards Jessica #2. So, I broke things off with her around November of 2021. This is when things became painfully obvious to me that the whole time, I was in love with Jessica #1, and no one else.
Now that my feelings were clear, and I had everything figured out. I was ready to tell Jessica #1 that I was in love with her. And then… She gets a girlfriend… that’s not me. I decided to keep my feelings out of the way, because if she was happy, I was happy… sort of. One night, around the end of December 2021, me and the entire friend group was video calling. I remember being atrociously jealous because Jessica’s girlfriend was also in the call. After said video call, Jessica messages me on discord and asks what was up with me. I told her that I didn’t know what she was talking about, but she pushed further and said, I know you better than you think, somethings up with you. We went back and forth for about an hour, saying how telling her would only make things worse… etc. etc. I eventually cracked and told her everything, then she confesses that she was never really in love with her girlfriend and how she was using her to get over me. Then she started getting concerning, i.e., suicidal. Because she loved me but couldn’t hurt her girlfriend. Long story short, she ended up in the hospital, and afterwards she broke up with her girlfriend.
Then started our “situationship”. (A situationship is a relationship but not officially). During the month of January 2022, we did everything a long-distance relationship would, falling asleep on the phone together, playing games together, talking every second of the day, etc. etc. Then I fucked up. It was February 2022, and me, Jessica, and my best friend were in a call together. They were all poking fun at me as they usually do, but today it was getting a little... annoying. So, I said something about it. I told Jessica that her making fun of my ADHD wasn’t cool and it was poking at my insecurities. She ends up becoming incredibly apologetic and I said, “it was okay just please don’t do it anymore” I thought everything was fine, until my best friend messages me and said, “do you know what you did?” I said “What I did? Are you serious?” and she goes on to say, “Shannon her grandfather is dying, she needs support now more than ever and you’re here starting an argument with her?” We argue a little bit more and then I eventually go to bed and forget about it. I woke up to a long message from someone in the group basically saying that I “need to grow up and mature” and then they kicked me out of the group.
TL;DR, I fucked up so hard that I started an argument with her while her grandfather was dying, and it got me kicked out of the group and a lost all of my friends in a single day.
shesavillain: What does her grandfather dying have to do with her making fun of your ADHD and not stopping until you got mad? She was too busy laughing to grieve for her grandpa but now she gets snapped at and someone wants to mention her dying grandpa as an excuse?
r3dm0nk: It all looks like 16yr old relationship problems honestly.
Nanski4747: 19 y/o problems actually
r3dm0nk: Same thing.. not that big of a difference. Been there, done that. Don't worry too much.. :)
Nanski4747: ill try not to... but all i've been doing is trying to say sorry to them and they don't want to hear it lol
r3dm0nk: Mistakes happen. Don't overuse the word "sorry" though - better to say it once with honest than a thousand times because of desperation. Itll lose it's power.
I also dont think you did something wrong. You defended yourself. Don't let anyone step on you.
| 7 | 19.571429 | |
1663112605 | 1663119754 | t3_xdmf4w | t5_2to41 | 7 | kandle_no: Tifu by agreeing with what my friend said
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MystcManzaray: A true friend talks shit to your face but says good stuff behind your back.
Just be nice to everyone and whenever someone says smth rude say it bluntly to there face that "hey thats mean bro"
kandle_no: Rebecca talks shit behind other peoples back so I’m guessing she talks shit behind my back but I could be wrong
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1663115272 | 1663123731 | t3_xdnd5w | t5_2to41 | 103 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling for my best friend
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twats08: what kind of videos did you have on your tiktok profile that he thought were romantic?
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeea: There was one from a WHILE ago that had the #crush? and another where I said he was pretty. They were meant in a joking way but definitely had some truth behind em.
MightyKrakyn: They were *disguised* in a joking way. I hope that’s clear to you, because it seems it was clear to your friend. Be honest with yourself and others.
| 4 | 25.75 | |
1663119616 | 1663312115 | t3_xdoxrd | t5_2to41 | 3 | ihatemyselfforthis__: TIFU My horrible porn addiction
I (M18) have been dating my absolutely beautiful and wonderful girlfriend (F18) for 2 years. I always had this addiction even before dating and when we started dating I thought it was gone for good and then it started to surge back up after 6-8 months, I even followed a lot of models and such on insta, tiktok, etc. and I promised her I would unadd them and such because I’m in a happy and wonderful relationship and I did unadd them… but then I started adding them carelessly again and my love for her never changed, but as soon as she found out back in June of 2021, nearly 2 months before our anniversary, she was hurt badly and I caused that. She lost confidence, a lot that she struggled to gain as is and I made it 100x worse. We started having sexual intimacy when we were 17 because in our state that is the legal age, but again,
I love my gf with my whole life, but being horny by myself just makes me do very stupid things and it hurts her and I know it does but I lost so much resistance to that urge and I hate myself for it. She forgave me somewhat because I did everything to show her that I never meant any thing to hurt her and her feelings and I was being selfish and wrong for using other women (ones with big breast and ass, something my gf compared herself to which weren’t close to how she looks) which what hurt her.
That her bf, the one who’s supposed to protect, care, love, and be her partner through thick and thin, hurt her like this. When she saw the accounts I followed after I first broke my promise to unfollow them, I had a 2nd twitter account, joined discord porn servers, pornhub, anything that showed legal porn I saw and watched it and I can’t control myself any better currently.
Her bday comes up and she asks again why did I break my promise to her when I followed all those thirst trap accounts again on tiktok and when I explained that I was just horny and had what I saw from them made me horny, she got upset at me again and we went 2 weeks with little to no affection, and texting and talking to each other was hard and I felt nothing but stress and guilt for putting her through that and hurting her. It’s a miracle she still has the heart to love me back even after that which don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of toxic relationships that have been told on reddit and my situation isn’t anything abusive, it’s just one huge mistake that I want to bury but I can’t because I lack self control like a dumbass. This isn’t bashing her on anything because she’s the victim and I’m the dumbass, but I want to treat her right like how I always said I would, but I made many mistakes that she isn’t even aware about and I want to tell her, but I know this will break her heart again and I don’t want that, but it’s even more wrong to bury the truth with me.
Just today I bought nudes from someone on twitter because again this addiction came back after like 8 months of it being gone and I don’t want to put her through this again considering this time it’s a lot worse. You would think I would learn even after being scammed by some sellers I would stop but I didn’t, I lost maybe around $100 in scams and I didn’t stop, I would stop for 2 weeks and delete all the accounts, but then sign back into them cancelling the 30 day wait time from them being deactivated for good. I bought nudes from girls all because I was horny and we are happily sexually active with each other, there was a point where it was fine to have sex again because she didn’t feel like she was having sex because of pleasure and no reason, but because we love each other, and I ruined that again but she doesn’t know it yet.
I deleted all ways I was able to look at porn, from deleting my reddit account, blocking porn sites, deleting my old discord, deleting my twitter porn account, deleting the porn snap account, everything. I don’t want to keep any secrets from her, I love her too much to just keep this hidden, she needs to know, and I’m telling her all the truth, not a single detail left out. She has explained before that she doesn’t want to date someone who’s sees women like this let alone find attraction to other women other than her, and this is a very justified reason and I broke it again and I don’t think I deserve a third chance from her because it’s eating me up every time I do it.
I try stopping but I convince myself “just one more time won’t hurt” and it’s back to repeating it. I need help to break this addiction but idk how else to do it other than deleting everything because it hasn’t worked for me and trying the whole “workout when you’re horny” didn’t stick.
The reason I’m making this post is for several reasons: To get advice or another perspective from some one, help to break this childish addiction, and to see if someone else has had this happened before. I am the problem and I am seeking for my resolution here whether this is the place to do it or not, I love her too much and I still think we are meant for each other because we’re each other’s best friends and despite when I first broke my promise, she said that even though she was really mad and upset at me, she couldn’t stop loving me and I truly don’t deserve her, but I want to at least do what’s right.
I’m not covering my ass with this and I want her to know, but I am scared of course of her reaction because this is just mistakes I kept making all because of horny immaturity. If she somehow still manages to love me even after this, I think she deserves someone better because I let my own addiction harm my relationship all because I lacked control. Our 2 year anniversary just past and I still went through with buying someone’s nudes today just to get scammed. Please shares thoughts and opinions or advice, I want to be better.
TL;DR, I broke my promise again to not be attracted to girls online and this time I did it worse than before. My gf who I love dearly, was heartbroken the first time I broke this promise and isn’t aware of the second time yet. My issue is I am worried of her reaction, this has been eating me up and I’m ready to face the consequences, but I’m not ready to break her heart again.
Interesting-Month-56: This is way too long. You’re 18. You watch porn. Your GF is inexperienced and suffering from Christian indoctrination.
She needs to back off and you need to stop lying about your basic human needs. Lots of women out there that do enjoy sex and porn without the guilt.
HyperCasualListener: He’s 18 and buying nudes online while also having a girlfriend. Let’s not act like this is the girlfriends fault here
ihatemyselfforthis__: I agree with you, my post stated clearly she is the victim and I am the problem, I want to give her my honesty and also explain in a way that doesn’t break her heart too much that I made another big mistake all because I couldn’t break a horrible bad habit.
Her reasoning for being upset from this isn’t wrong, I am supposed to be her partner, her love and support, and I failed at that again. So I came here to make the post asking for help because I can’t do this alone because I keep breaking it, I wanted to hear advice and opinions on this because surely this isn’t some first in the world to happen situation. And yes lots of women do watch porn and have sex without guilt, she is like that as well, the issue was buying unnecessary nudes from random girls on twitter and keeping it to myself for 4 months.
As well as she explained her dislike of porn, but she isn’t against it if it’s used for reference (show sex positions, sex tips, basically something helpful and not used as a outlet of pleasure) and I agree with her thinking but I am seeking help now because I no longer trust myself to break it myself.
Interesting-Month-56: | not used as an outlet for pleasure
This is what I’m talking about. I understand that you have a view of it that says you are doing something wrong. And IMHO that view is unhealthy, whether it’s you or your GF.
Porn is fine when viewed for pleasure. Life is short and why not enjoy the things you are hard wired to enjoy?
Feeling guilty about it and lying, that’s bad because it sucks the pleasure and joy out of life.
I think you’re being too hard on yourself and both of you are way too focused on policing things that aren’t important. Clearly that’s not a popular opinion here, but it’s mine.
ihatemyselfforthis__: Naturally you’re able to have your own opinion and everyone else can have theirs. I gotten the comments poking fun at my problem that I created, had people give genuine feedback, and people who critique my post’s grammar (which I know now that I need to make sure I am near perfect on sentence structure and paragraph breaking).
It may not be important to you, but this subject is on my gf’s belief and discomfort with me hiding or openly “drooling” over other girls when I have her. Thank you for having your opinion although I may not agree with it, I appreciate the time you took to type something nonetheless.
| 6 | 0.5 | |
1663119233 | 1663185485 | t3_xdospn | t5_2to41 | 4 | ihatemyselfforthis__: TIFU My horrible porn addiction
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evanejhall: Ok, first off edit the post to paragraphs so it's easier to read, I personally don't care but other people do.
Second. I have been in your shoes. Only difference is, I made a promise to myself that I would never pay for it. I broke that promise once, haven't since.
Third, Do NOT change yourself for any reason or person except yourself.
Fourth. This is just going to be the start of the problems. I can only tell you what's happened to me and my dad because it's happened to us both.
(A) she will leave you, let her. It's going to be hard, really hard. I came close to taking my life, or going to jail for doing something stupid hard.
(B) she will accept it, and you, you can go to programs she can help you and will either support or resent you for as long as you're together, this is what happened to my dad.
I am married to a woman that did not break it off with me, and my dad is divorced, not because of porn, but because of the fighting and backstabbing from it (it's a long story)
Fifth. You are young, 18? I can give you three examples of relationships that survived middleschool, highschool, college, adulthood and parenthood. That pain you feel in your heart? A little bit above your stomach? For her? It's your body's genetic response to get it on and have kids. Love isn't a feeling, it's a choice. I would suggest to not be the one that breaks it off, but how you bounce back will determine what kind of a person you will be.
If you're spending money on it, and truly want to stop, there are programs out there that help, have helped me. But what really helped is time.
I had a ring for my ex, she was my world, we had been together for 7 years. We were each others first for everything. I was her support, but she wasn't mine.
She left me out of nowhere, when I really needed her. Parents were divorcing, lost my job, got kicked out of my house. I was at my lowest and she hurt me, and to rub it in, not even a month later she got with some guy. I suspected she was cheating on me. Still do. I want literally insane, like losing my mind, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat right.
When I finally got her to admit why she left, she told me it was because of my addiction.
I was thoroughly depressed.
I got a job. Worked hard, got two jobs, started a business, bought a motorcycle, bought a truck. I put everything into just rebuilding myself and investing in myself. My mental health got better, and I met my now wife, she accepted me. Even with my porn addiction, I still do every now and then. Her reasoning was, if it's not controlling me, and her needs are met. It's better than me cheating on her. She's even watched with me sometimes, at least when we were younger.
My point is. If she sticks with you and grows with you, great. If she doesn't, then the struggle is just starting and if you need help don't be afraid to ask, because you are not the only one going through this. Literally ask anyone. Your body is genetically wired to do the things you do for a reason, don't try and stop it completely just put it to better use.
Best of luck brother.
ihatemyselfforthis__: Thank you for your feedback and advice and insight. Although my view of love isn’t the same as yours, it does not mean the points you made weren’t helpful in some ways. I’ve never, never, done anything physically harming to her, and when I did something unintentionally to her that was bad or toxic she did call me out for it and I immediately changed because I am not perfect.
The point I know she’ll be upset about mainly is buying content from twitter sellers all because I treated it as if I was buying nudes for my pleasure and not so much because I have attraction to that type of preference. I love her with every ounce of me and more and we have discussed if we ever broke up for some problem (like this situation for instance) then if we do love each other, then we better fight back to earn them again. I will speak to my parents on this in a serious manner because I want to stop but I desperately need help. Porn is practically a drug of pleasure to me and I can’t keep using it.
I talked to another guy who responded to my post saying my addiction sounds like hyper sexuality as well, which I can see as well because I am sexually active with my gf and we are ope and consensual to all intimacy. But when I’m horny alone, and I want to visualize us doing it, I use porn as a reference and imagine it’s us, where I got it wrong is buying from sellers who imagining it’s my gf and I in the content I just bought stupidly. I do expect her to break up with me, I wronged her a second time, and part of me doesn’t want her third chance to make this work because it feels so wrong to just be let off so calmly. There’s no doubt I love her, but as soon as I felt this bad habit comeback I just couldn’t stop as soon as I crossed that line again.
I want to stop most of this feeling because I still want to have a more tamed sex drive for her, but I don’t trust myself anymore to try and fix this by myself, it has not worked and I came here asking for help and insights. I appreciate all feedback (more so the ones that explain why she should break up with me other than just saying “bReAk Up”)
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1663120454 | 1663135813 | t3_xdp8io | t5_2to41 | 6,468 | CwispyChickenTime: TIFU by taking random doordash orders on my porch
So for context, me (18) M and my family have been having an issue where we get random Doordash orders on our porch. The first time it happened I assumed it was a mistake, and after no one claiming it for 2 hours, we just decided to take it. Then randomly every month, another would appear. After the second meal we called doordash, they told us it was most likely a glitch and not to worry about it, ever since we've just taken the orders as a stroke of luck, until today.
Now out my window I see someone deliver some food, same thing happens. I go ahead grab it, my brother starts to eat a cheeseburger and fries, and right as I'm about to dig in we hear a knock on the front door. Of course we panic and throw everything back in, and I see a short, about 25 year old guy, he's nice and says that their house number is the same as ours, and that our addresses get mixed up, saying how he even brings us our packages.
We both apologize and he leaves saying "Enjoy your night!" So I hand him back all the food with the exception of the fries and burger, he leaves and I thought that was the end of it. About 5 minutes later comes another knock, I answer the door and a woman about the same age and stature as the other guy shows up. Visually upset, she asks about the burger and fries that were inside the bag, my mom shouts a no as she walks upstairs, and my brother shrugs it off. I step outs
ide with her and apologize saying that he ate it and that they didn't want to fess up, I asked if she would want us to pay her back and she tells me no. She then points to her house and tell me we get her orders. I tell her sorry, and that we thought that the orders were random, she then says I don't believe you in an angry tone and walks off.
Now I'm watching a movie feeling like shit for taking their food, I'm wondering if there's anything I can even do to make it up to them but I'm guessing there isn't. TL;DR I kept taking doordash orders I thought were a glitch, and got confronted by the people who were ordering.
Edit: Thanks for all the advice and help guys, I figure if it escalates I'll buy them a gift card, but it seems that I should just report it and go about my day
Edit edit: To answer some more comments, they have the same number, but not same street. We moved here about a year ago, to my best knowledge, I have never known that they have brought any packages over or have we received any of theirs. We have never known or expected their to be a house with the same number nearby or even exist.
The first order I received I left out, two hours went by and it was sitting outside so that's when I called dd support, who told me "it's most likely a glitch, we'll refund them the full amount, enjoy the mixup!"
Finally the recipt does not come with an adress or name, in my experience. I don't wanna just put all this new context here to avoid accountability, but I thank everyone as I understand the situation a lot better now, thank you all!
Tjchowder: I low key love it when door dash messes up my order. I call door dash to get a full refund, then drive to store and ask them to remake the food. I get 3 meals for free this way (the messed up order + the refund + my actual order)
ooooooooooooolivia: Does doordash reimburse the store when they remake it? If not, you should really stop doing that, the store is probably taking a loss on you to avoid an outburst
There are plenty of valid and legal ways to get free food that don't result in innocent people doing it just to appease you
Tjchowder: So far it’s only happened with Chipotle and they offer to remake it. Every time it’s happened it for sure Chipotle’s fault. They put the wrong order in the bag
ooooooooooooolivia: Yeah I don't condone that. Chipotle did screw up, but you got refunded in full for the mixup and got free food. They're being incredibly polite but this does force employees to do extra work and probably hits the store in profits which is unfair
They would probably make you a free burrito if you just made up a story entirely, at least from my understanding
Tjchowder: I take the messed up order to the store to prove what happened. The bag is marked with my name and my order but inside the bag the items are marked with someone else’s name. They can’t take the food back so I end up with both orders. I don’t know if DoorDash reimburses the store
ooooooooooooolivia: I'm not saying you aren't proving it, just that I think they'd do it without real proof at all. If you're not paying money, it's not fair to ask them to make food
Tjchowder: I see what you’re saying. I think it should be up to DoorDash to rectify the mistake, not Chipotle.
ooooooooooooolivia: They did, you got your money back. Doordash doesn't have to pay you back, let you keep the food, and give you your order on top of that. You literally profited and still want more from them
Tjchowder: I just want the thing I ordered. Refund or not.
ooooooooooooolivia: So order it again???
Tjchowder: I think I explained that I did. Except I didn’t have to pay for it the second time because the store made a mistake
ooooooooooooolivia: Yeah if you didn't pay for the food you don't deserve it. You are fortunate to be able to keep the wrong order for free
Tjchowder: I am fortunate. I’m grateful for that. That’s why I shared
| 14 | 462 | |
1663121715 | 1663160252 | t3_xdpoy3 | t5_2to41 | 179 | DesperateBug4589: TIFU By putting capsaicin inside my girlfriend
Obligatory throwaway account. This happened about 2 months ago. Okay, so me (M30) and my gf (F21) have been really wanting to tell people this story but we’re really private about our sex life. I’ll preface this by saying I’m somewhat of a spice addict, I seek out the hottest sauces and do most of the spicy viral challenges I find. In this case I found the “Buldak Spicy Ramen challenge”. I got extremely excited and emptied out my afternoon to endure this challenge. I cooked the noodles and the spice consists of a sauce and powder combo (I think you can see where this is going). I endure the challenge like a champ and play it off like it’s no big deal to my partner.
Less than an hour passes and not only am I still feeling the residual heat but now I’m feeling the heat of the moment, so we go into the bedroom and start with our normal routine of foreplay, a few minutes pass of me violently fingering her when she starts to complain about feeling pain. I pull away, scared that I might have caused a cut inside of her. She then sits up and all I hear is a louder “OWWWW”. I ask her if she’s okay and all she can say is “DID YOU WASH YOUR HANDS AFTER THE RAMEN”
Now in my defense, I did, but, there was some residual powder or sauce or whatever the hell the spice devil put in that ungodly mixture of a spice. So now I have no idea how to fix this, and all she says is “IM GONNA GO TAKE A SHOWER CAN YOU GET ME SOME MILK”
So my poor girlfriend sat in the shower, with a burning vagina and water and milk in between her legs hoping to find some relief.
I guess the moral of the story is, don’t just wash once, wash until the skin on your hands is stripped clean.
Oh to add insult to injury, last week we went through a 1-2 week dry spell, and we went to go have sex and get into it, she straight up started having a gnarly nosebleed anime style. Not realizing it until we both tasted iron. Glad she still loves me
tl;dr: ate spicy challenge, didn’t wash hands enough, fingered gf with spice covered fingers and had her crying in the shower with milk and water
RoddynotRicch: 30 and 21? How long you been dating 🤨
DesperateBug4589: Here comes the usual weirdo. 5 months, chill out.
Aware_Economics4980: You’re 30 dating a 21 year old and calling him a weirdo? Lol
DesperateBug4589: gf here: last I checked it’s two consenting adults.
Automatic-Cellist910: It still says a lot about OP's immaturity.
As does this thread.
Crazydarkside4: My late partner was 38 and I was 21, we got along fine. He passed away 8 yrs ago but he was amazing and definitely not a predator, he worried about the age gap, I didnt.
enava: I like how you got downvoted 
Crazydarkside4: I hadn't noticed! I am not sure why, but to be honest I have a huge amount going on in my life (can be seen on my profile,) I will just shrug and move on.
| 9 | 19.888889 | |
1663124314 | 1663125262 | t3_xdqlk3 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with my Girlfriend
[deleted]
ckirby7: You're 19 and they're telling you who you're allowed to date? Are you very religious or something? Absolutely no offense meant by this question
Skipp_To_My_Lou: OP's parents own the house; most likely OP is, leaglly speaking, a tenant at their pleasure. If he doesn't like their restrictions on bringing guests into the house he can move out.
Serious_Oil1889: Sounds like he’s a tenant at his pleasure.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1663123313 | 1663216235 | t3_xdq99p | t5_2to41 | 1,497 | adleyyyy: TIFU by becoming the whipped nipple man.
The title may or may not be what it sounds like.
This concept came to me (18M) in a dream, my muse reaching out to me ever so gently, us too far to touch, but just close enough for her to hand me a can of Ready-Whip whipped cream and whisper to me what I must do, despite any drawbacks.
And drawbacks there were. For when I woke up alongside my lovely girlfriend (19F) and made my way to the kitchen, prepared to complete my quest.
There was no whipped cream. I knew what I had to do; the tunnel was vision setting in, some blessed sixth sense leading me almost magnetically to the bathroom. Turning the lights on, in a case which my gaze may first gravitate to the toilet, the sink, or my girlfriend's skincare products, it did not. I found myself drawn to a fresh can of Barbasol.
Before I knew it, there were two dollops of shaving cream on each of my nipples.
My girlfriend, long since awakened from her slumber, awaited me in the kitchen. It was time to complete my goal.
At that point in time, it felt like I was made for this. Like I was destined, no matter what, to become the Whipped Nipple Man. And so, out of the lavatory I marched, prepared to fulfill this newfound prophecy. I stood tall, strong, puffed out my chest in the doorway of the kitchen, and bellowed more triumphantly than a man who has won over the world:
"I AM THE WHIPPED NIPPLE MAN."
My girlfriend, being the majestic individual that she is, snorted with quite an emphasis and slurped the shaving cream off of my left nipple.
Before the sensation had gone through the processing of my nervous system, I was dragged off of my throne by a distressed gargle, one of a woman who had just swallowed approximately two and a half tablespoons of high-strength aerated soap.
As she began to fall ill within the next few minutes, the shaving cream still standing in its resilience, not unlike the ACD after the nuclear bombing of Hiroshima, I had no choice. I had to dial poison control.
I was met with nothing but laughter on the other line.
"Just give her some milk, kid. It's okay."
It did not seem okay, for I may have been more distressed than my girlfriend as I poured her a glass of Lactaid and wiped off the remaining evidence of the crime. She is not mad at me, but I feel extremely guilty.
TL;DR: Wanted to put whipped cream on my nipples. Used shaving cream instead. Girlfriend licked it off. Poison control was dialed.
erriuga_leon27: Not only is your fu hilarious but I learned that shaving cream is just aereated soap.
ErikTheAngry: Depends.
There are actual shaving soaps, those are hard though. You use a brush to get it all creamy and wet, same way you'd do so to a woman.. gentle, patient, rhythmic rubbing. Avoid the CBAT rhythm though, I hear it's success is... limited.
But most shaving creams have no soap in them. They're a lubricant, primarily.
Barbasol, mentioned by name, only produces shaving creams.
Noidremained: wait, you're supposed to use a brush on women?
activ8r: Obviously. What have you been using?
Noidremained: uhm...the poop knife
| 6 | 249.5 | |
1663145156 | 1663222187 | t3_xdwo56 | t5_2to41 | 148 | [deleted]: TIFU by logging out of my Google account
[deleted]
Realistic-Flan4289: i think it is retainable, you just need to contact some IT shops that can help out.
NorthBall: I'd try Google support as well
Prudent_Contribution: Google doesn't have support for anything except their paid products
NorthBall: Ah, yeah kinda makes sense in a way (still sucks tho)
Prudent_Contribution: It sucks a lot. I lost access to my Gmail account because it was suspected of being hacked or something so it made me reset the password. I did the password reset thing and it wouldn't let me reset it because I didn't have my 5+ year old university email anymore which I used as a backup. I spent forever trying to get Google support to talk to me but it just doesn't exist.
Eventually went back to my university and asked them to make me an email for a day so I could get my Gmail back, which they did.
| 6 | 24.666667 | |
1663150783 | 1663206653 | t3_xdy7fk | t5_2to41 | 64,096 | MightAsWellNotFuck: TIFU after masturbating for 6 years straight
I (28m) started having sex in my mid teens, but stopped having sex in my early 20s, specifically after my first real relationship came to an end. I was 22. I never thought it would affect me as bad as it did for as long as it did. But from 22 until recently, I've been avoiding relationships, even casual hookups. As you can imagine, I did what most people do when they're alone and horny, I masturbated. For 6 fucking years.
A few weeks ago I finally said enough is enough and decided to start dating again. After several unsuccessful dates and almost reverting back to my antisocial ways, I managed to make a connection. She was cute, funny, covered in freckles and I loved it. Towards the end of our first date we agreed to continue the fun at her place. Based on our body language, sex was definitely on the table. One of my biggest fears was cumming almost instantly due to the 6 years of zero sex.
However, the opposite became my biggest challenge. I wasn't cumming at all. I could practically see the seasons change while I was fucking. That's how long it felt. After thrusting longer than I've ever thrusted in my life, I pulled out and apologized to my date. She seemed as relieved as I was to stop. We were both complaining about being sore. I explained my 6 year situation and made her understand that she did nothing wrong. It was all me.
She understood and said it must be "death grip". I never heard of it before, but when she explained it to me, it made sense. I Googled how to overcome death grip and the number one treatment plan was masturbate less. I opted for not masturbating at all and guess what? It didn't help. No money shot. I had sex with the same freckle-faced girl for 3 weeks and I think her vagina fucking hates me. Yesterday we were supposed to meet up but she called to tell me she's no longer interested in seeing me because I've made it uncomfortable for her to walk properly.
I masturbated this morning just to see if I can still cum and the answer is yes. I've literally trained my dick to hate sex and now I seemed to have lost a potential girlfriend.
Tl;dr Avoided sex and masturbated for most of my 20s and now I'm unable to orgasm during sex and I'm losing potential relationships in the process.
**EDIT:**
**SHE CAME. HOLY FUCK. I didn't think that information was relevant until I summoned the council of female pleasure in this thread.**
Coleforge: The real protagonist of this story is Freckles and the fact that it sounds like she had you jackhammering her to death for three weeks.
To quote Jack Black "You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes it's not right to do."
ClarityFractal: Sometimes you’ve got to make some love, and fucking give her some smooches too
Poody81: Sometimes you’ve got to squeeze; sometimes you gotta say please
motornix: Sometimes you gotta say "Hey,"
Shadyacr2: I'm gonna fuck *youu*
-FeistyRabbitSauce-: ^*softly*
DaveBelmont: I'm gonna screw you gently
RelentlessExtropian: I'm gonna hump you, sweetly.
jetpacks_was_yes: I'm gonna ball you
DISCREEETTTLLLAAAAAYYYYYYAYY
IdiosyncraticRisc: And then you say hey i got you flowers
Friweika: And then you say wait a minute Sally
Sienilinna_R: I think I've got something in my teeth
ewilsey: Could you get it out for me?
THATS FUCKIN TEAMWORK
HiSpartacusImDad: What’s your favorite posish?
Joe_Rapante: That's cool with me, it's not my favorite, but I'll do it for you.
StarshipCommand: What's your favorite dish?
mondayfridaymonday: I'm not gonna cook it, but I'll order it from....
TheRigo_00: ZANziBaar!!
hanscaboose92: And then i'm gonna love you completelly!!
EyesWideArtToronto: I don't normally "continue a thread" with comments but, with this, I had no choice, and, I HAD to sing everyone's individual inclusion...
Storytime:
Highschool, senior year, not allowed to have more than 2 spares per semester so I picked up a throwaway class, grade 10 art.
Spent a lot of time getting to know the cute/hot-as-hell senorita seated on the right next to me because... hormones.
Getting to know her.
Making her laugh.
Art skills improving.
Impressing her and everyone else with my artistic progress.
Thinking about making a move (ask for a date/hangout).
Guy on the left of me puts earphones on my head...
"Just listen."
Who is this?
Who is Tenacious D?
They fucking rock!
I like rock?!?
Ftw, this is the guy I saw get blown away in "The Jackal"??
🎶 "But then, I'm going fuuuuck you haaaaaaaaarrrrd.
Haaaaaaaaaaard." 🎶
Forget girl.
Get lost in Tenacious D.
Get lost in Rock.
How do I get to Zanzibar???
Thank you Kage and Jables for musical masterpieces that I will be sharing with my kids someday. It all will start with, "School of Rock" as their introduction and end with the, "Pick of Destiny".
Zestyclose_Royal_591: You ruined the song for a story that’s not really relevant
EyesWideArtToronto: I love that atleast one person read it and that that one person was you!
That is awesome.
Now go and try to find a way to be awesome too Zesty.
QSquared: I mean, I didn't read it but I did think you ruined the whole flow for your own dick sucking event. I get it tho, you need to ruin things to feel better about yourself, clearly, based on the way you responded to this dude.
EyesWideArtToronto: As long as you got it, I'm happy.
Enjoy your day bro!
😉
QSquared: Got what?
EyesWideArtToronto: In your comment...
You said, "I get it tho..."
Also, did you get that I was very moved to see a small part of the reddit community expressing the love that Tenacious D is capable of cultivating in a fanbase with the song that made me fall for them?
I hope someday to, like OP, to commence a proper, unrelenting jackhammering of sensuality to a freckle-faced lover while I blast that song for my neighbours.
QSquared: So when you say you are happy I got it, you mean my own conclusions?
Cool. Good onya, I guess.
Just feels weird thing to say but to each their own.
Also dunno what you are going on about in the next paragraph so I kinda stopped reading half way through, sorry, I tried 3 times but legit couldn't will try again later if I remember, my ADHD legit be like this sometimes.
EyesWideArtToronto: Thanks for attempting to read it!
Have a great day.
QSquared: So was that correct?
| 30 | 2,136.533333 | |
1663157077 | 1663158930 | t3_xe07ac | t5_2to41 | 223 | rabbitt-we: TIFU Ep 62! Let’s play a game 🎲
spaghetti_bags: How do I get on the chat
rabbitt-we: Raise your hand
spaghetti_bags: I would if I knew how to do it lol
MrBloodyHyphen: There is a hand icon on the bottom of your screen if you're on mobile
IvanPines3106: I suppose he’s asking in desktop
| 6 | 37.166667 | |
1663155615 | 1663241057 | t3_xdzpdm | t5_2to41 | 93 | 47292tif: TIFU by being a drunk idiot who agreed to kiss someone in my friend group
So, I and a few friends were drinking before leaving for the club. I hadn't had anything to eat that entire day, apart from a sandwich just before I went there. After drinking the equivalent of 8 vodka shots within 2 hours I started feeling unusually drunk. But no, "I, am a man, therefore I have to continue." So I did. After another 5 vodka shots we left for the club. To strangers I can perfectly pretend I'm sober so no issues in getting in. A few more drinks at the club and about 45 minutes later I went to the smoking area to borrow my friend's vape pen. My other, female, friend was telling me how that night l she has kissed all of her girl friends and one of the guys without a girlfriend. I, jokingly said "so it's just me". My memory is a little bit fuzzy after that but the conversation went something like this "so you want a kiss?" "Well I'm not going to say no" and she did it.
Nah, cringe. And I should learn when to stfu.
Perhaps unsurprisingly the whole vibe is weird af now, she is trying to avoid me (but not the other guy who she is much closer with), I am NOT into her which it appears people might be thinking now and to just avoid this conversation I am pretending that I do not remember any of the night out, including the location of the venue we were at. Yeah, immature I know but the best I could come up with on the spot. I doubt they believe me anyway, I am not the best liar.
And to top it off, 1 day later she had a cold, which I too am beginning to suffer for it. All of that because of a stupid kiss I didn't even want.
Tl;dr a friend and I kissed, we created a cringe situation and as a price I got a cold.
BackgroundSimple1993: I’m not one to judge people’s drinking habits but please be careful when you haven’t eaten much. My sister had to go to the hospital in an ambulance because she didn’t eat enough and blacked out because she had alcohol poisoning.
As for the kiss , i hope it all blows over for you
47292tif: Don't usually drink without eating but I was busy that day and it is surprisingly easy to forget to eat, especially when you have to cook yourself lol. Thanks for the reminder though, I have just ordered fries to properly line my stomach before going out this evening!
BackgroundSimple1993: Yeah my sister had the same issue lol
Good idea! :)
47292tif: Hope your sister is okay. We all learn from these mistakes!!
BackgroundSimple1993: Yes thankfully she was okay , only
In hospital a few hours and had a gnarly hangover but she was okay :)
| 6 | 15.5 | |
1663159659 | 1663161568 | t3_xe13za | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting blackmailed, and stealing from a register at work.
[deleted]
HateBananas17: Pathetic story and writing
ArsenicAcid01: It’s almost like I said I was a 16 year old. I’m not going to be the best at writing. My bad if it’s not to your likings.
HateBananas17: This wasn’t “I’m not going to be the best at writing cause I’m 16”, it was atrocious. Glad you deleted it!
| 4 | 1 | |
1663160675 | 1663222612 | t3_xe1hgq | t5_2to41 | 254 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my current gf that I've been having dreams about my ex of 10 years ago
[deleted]
swestsniper: If this sub has taught me anything it’s that sometimes u just gotta keep your mouth shut.
SidewaysFancyPrance: Leave the past in the past. Don't make the common mistake of thinking a person wants a 10-year-old apology, because you're doing it for you, not for them. They're already long over it.
-Eule: Yeah it's common when people have an epiphany about someone else they expect the other person to miraculously be on that same wavelength at the same time in life - just never works like that. Gotta let sleeping dogs lie sometimes.
| 4 | 63.5 | |
1663162269 | 1663206262 | t3_xe238e | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: tifu by bringing a joint to school and finding out my schools been stalking me
[removed]
greatdevonhope: That's shit but it's on you I'm afraid, but it's ok. You did stupid stuff and got caught. The schools actions are shitty but I'm sorry, you said school checked yr bag so why on earth would you take weed (even if it's only a joint to school). Learn from it and move forward. Take yr consequence from yr parents (sucks but I assume you want to earn some trust back). It's not as bad as it seems now.
d0ll3tt3: i know it's a fault of mine but i never expected them to open my lunchbox as they never do it to anyone.
what bothers me more than the suspension however is how the school casually brought up pictures from my private instagram and pictures taken of me outside of school, and slutshamed me in front of my parents
Yellowbellys-finest: Private Instagram? Sounds like an oxymoron
LurksAroundHere: Right? Always silly to hear how kids continue to think pics posted on the internet are somehow *private*.
Life lesson - If you post *anything* on the internet, you need to have the expectation that it can come back and bite you on the ass someday.
| 5 | 11 | |
1663164286 | 1664299574 | t3_xe2vbt | t5_2to41 | 3,624 | This_User_is_nice: TIFU by masturbating and being recorded without knowing by my GF's parents
Mandatory it wasn’t today’s kind of fuck up but a few months ago.
So, back a few months ago, I visited my girlfriend’s place who lives with her parents. They have a dog, a very cute shiba that can be a bit naughty so they installed a camera in their living room that they can access to via an app to keep track if he’s not trashing the house when they are not there. The camera has been off for a while since they’ve not been on holidays in a long time and they even said that to my face, straight up. It is also worth nothing that I’ve been dating the girl for 2 years now, her parents know me very well, I’ve always been well behaved and no reasons whatsoever to doubt me or my intentions.
That brings us to my fuck up. When I visited them, I had a lot of work to do for my studies. I had this presentation in history class to do who took me longer than expected and I had to do it urgently for the next day so I excused myself to my gf and her parents and said that I needed to use the living room to pull an all-nighter. I wanted to let my gf sleep and not bother anyone. So I did just that, use the living room and work on the couch. Mind you that the dog camera is placed right above me, in a weird angle on the wall. I work on my presentation but around 11:30, I feel a masculine urge to just beat my meat in order to focus better. I didn’t care to do it on my gf’s parents couch, I just wanted to do it. I did a quick check at the camera just out of guilt and make sure that it wasn’t too risky and it seemed turned off, just like they said. I proceeded to do the deed while thinking of my girlfriend naked and after a few minutes like 5, my spider sense activated and I feel like I should check the camera again. When I looked again, a blue dot was lit up on the camera and I swear it moved its angle to get a better look on my computer screen. I froze in horror and quickly put my junk back in my pants but I didn’t know what to do. I figured that the best way to proceed was to continue working on my presentation to show that I wasn’t doing anything illegal like stealing them.
I had to work till 4am under the camera’s surveillance. I wasn’t particularly discreet since I took a few more glances at the camera at random moments of this long night. Sometimes the blue dot was there, sometimes it wasn’t so I guess they were not watching me all the time. The next morning was really awkward, I didn’t want to face them so I faked that I was sleeping till 11am but my gf called me to get downstairs. They seemed to fake that nothing happened which weirded me out even more since they obviously knew that I knew. Her dad asked at what time I went to sleep the other night and that was it.
To this day, I still don’t know what they saw, if they kept the footage, if they intend to tell my gf that they saw me masturbating in the living room which would most likely piss her off. They still act friendly towards me tho but I have trouble looking at them in the eyes.
TL;DR: I masturbated on my GF parents' couch under a camera that was supposed to be turned off for years, surprise surprise turned on when I was there, now I can't look at them straight in the eyes
PeterParker72: Man, whether I think a camera is off or not, I’d go to the bathroom or something because you never know.
skankhunt402: Yeah plus don't jerk off on other peoples furniture that's mad disrespect
McDummy: If you only knew how useless that advice is, there are crime scenes with DNA from every country.
Trikids: What?
McDummy: it's really a guessing game in the crimelabs...Micheal Jackson's been dead for years yet fresh DNA of his pops up every time someone dies listening to bootlegged music of his.
Trikids: I have 2 concerns, what does that have to do with jacking off on some one’s couch? And secondarily why would Michael Jackson’s DNA be present on bootleg music of his considering that it would not have been distributed by him or any companies that he associated with?
McDummy: Hey I'm just the messenger, but If I had to guess I'd say Jackson's ghost is jacking off on people's furniture. as far as how the music somehow kills the listener and skeets? your guess is as good as mine. ask that Ring girl she might know.
Environmental-Tea4u: Username checks out
McDummy: Yes, I am the messenger mcdummy for dumb is as dumb does.
| 10 | 362.4 | |
1663171698 | 1663209038 | t3_xe5vje | t5_2to41 | 5,051 | Limp_Mayo: tifu: by sleeping with my buddys ex.
technically it was a buildup from the last 3 weeks and shtf today. So for context my buddy (18 m) had this gf (F ) that we went too school with and all of us had a couple classes together. Well they dated for about a year and broke up abruptly. According to my buddy it was a mutual decision. Well anyways about two months after I break up with my ex, so me and F talk after my break up and I start getting some details I never heard about my buddy. Stuff like " he was verbally abusive" and " he was very jealous and didn't want her doing anything without his permission" which I thought was weird because I had known my buddy for well over 7 years. So about 3 weeks ago F ask if she can come by that she had a bad day at work and would like to smoke some weed and chill ( which we had done many of times). So we're sitting on my couch just lighting up my bong and she says " you know your buddy could never satisfy me in bed". I was taken a back because before this there had never been sexual tension or anything between us, hell I was even good friends with her older brother. So long story short high me said " well that sucks " thought that was the end of that until 20 or so minutes and she tells me to unzip my pants. So this has been going on for the past 3 weeks. Today was fucked up because my buddy comes to my place out of the blue and noticed her car in my driveway, he walks into my living room to see me and her naked making lunch. He flips shit saying stuff like "bros before hoes" and "how dare I do that to him" it's been about 4 hours since and he's not responding to my text and he's bashing both of us on his snap. " He's been saying shit like he was still in love with her " our friend group is very diverted on the matter because a couple of the people had already known and the ones that didn't have been told that I'm a bad friend and a backstabber. I'm kinda distraught because I do like this girl and since it's out in the open I'd like to take our relationship to the next level, but I don't want to throw away a 7+ year friendship.
TL;DR my buddy's ex and I have been hooking up for the past three weeks. Today my buddy walked in on us naked together in my house he's been bashing us both on snap. So I'm stuck between a girl that I really like and a friend of 7 years.
SergeantSanchez: I don’t know what’s going on here, but don’t ever sleep with a buddys ex unless you know the facts yourself firsthand. If hes your boy and you feel you know him better than that, its up to you to follow up *as his boy*. A woman can tell a lie just as good as a man. Not only that, she sounds like a red flag playing thotscotch like that.
Limp_Mayo: I think it might just be because I'm the only one that hangs out with her. After the whole ordeal with my buddy she really hadn't been in the friend group, idk if she did it because having a shoulder to cry on was the main reason. She might have used me to piss of my buddy .
Jbrowne93: You still should've talked to your friend. You let your dick do the talking for you as opposed to discussing this with your friend of 7yrs.
jaydoes: Laughing, I am NEVER getting permission to be with a SINGLE girl from any other guy, not even a buddy. He needs to face up to the fact that relationship is over.
Jbrowne93: Wouldn't say it's about getting permission, it's about understanding where his friend stands emotionally/mentally with the girl before he jeopardized a friendship of 7yrs without understanding where his friend was in this situation. 7yrs of friendship should have more understanding than someone he's occasionally hung out with over the last year and regularly gotten high with. Pretty sure his buddy is feeling majorly let down by a friend he expected more from.
jaydoes: I would agree with this if they had just broken up recently but when we're talking months later, there's no claim. With his buddy just walking into his house unannounced, it seems like there's some problems with how his friend sees things.
Jbrowne93: Days, months, years it doesn't explain how someone may potentially feel about someone bro. There's no telling how much the guy cared about her. Regardless of a claim, a real friend will approach their buddy and make sure they're okay with the two of them engaging in a potential relationship. 7yrs is a friendship most people strive to not take advantage of or ruin for a girl. It seems you have some problems of understanding the way things played out and you're okay with doing the same to one of your friends lol.
jaydoes: Sorry, unless you consider ex gfs to be some kind of property that you have dibs on, this is not how it works. Both are single and have been for some time. I dunno where you live but where I am, women are free and independent humans who can make their choices without the input of a distant ex bf.
Where I am the general rule is that once your friend and his gf are clear of each other, she's fair game. We never saw women as some sort of possession that you have a claim over for ever and ever. That's completely rediculous.
Jbrowne93: You're still acting as if a girl is claim of possession or property. The more you discuss this the less I care to point out the obvious to you. The OP here ruined a friendship of 7yrs by getting into a relationship with this girl when he could've had both relationships if he actually talked to his friend about it first. It has nothing to do with her being free game or anything like that. It's a realistic mindset to think maybe his friend still has emotional ties to someone and even if he doesn't it's a better mindset to clear that out than to potentially lose both relationships in the process. I'm from the US but that honestly has nothing to do with the situation. I understand fair game in dating an ex of a friend but a real friend will consider their friend of multiple years over potentially losing that friend. Maybe that's just me but a friendship of that long is better than any ex gf or girlfriend. Plenty of women out there and a real friend of years is hard to come by.
jaydoes: The problem with this logic is that if it were true you would basically need every guys permission to date his ex that you knew. Recent breakups yes, months later no, just get over yourself would be my response. Plus, if a guy walks into my house to create drama over a month's old breakup, he's not my friend.
LoveThyself3: Not at all. This is about communicating with a long term friend you’ve known for a while and seeing how they feel about things like this that could potentially hurt them since you never know. He said that he’s not responding to him after that whole ordeal but do you really expect him to feel anything else? Walking in on your friend of 7 years having sex with someone you had a relationship with. He doesn’t even know the buddies side of the story and he is now making decisions on a biased rationale. Hearing the buddy out first would be a better idea. Since he didn’t even consider that then that’s just his hormones (dick) making the decision and not his brain and when that happens you can agree with me that things almost certainly will go wrong.
jaydoes: I think if the friend still is feeling possessive of an ex gf, months later, that's his issue. He clearly doesn't know how to let go of the past. And the fact that he will walk into his friends house without knocking to create drama over an ex from months ago is further proof he has a problem with what is.
I agree that if he knows his friend is like that he could expect a problem. But since they both waited months before anything happened the real problem seems to be the friend. The fact that the two are talking about a relationship now, indicates it wasn't like he was just banging his friends ex for the fun of it, but they actually liked each other. Neither of the couple went out of their way to create drama. They actually tried to keep it quiet. This is all on the friend and his inability to accept reality.
LoveThyself3: I didn’t really mention anything on possessiveness and I guess your focus is on his romantic feelings but ours is on the long term friendship and putting ourselves in his shoes. There’s nothing wrong with that but I would value a long term friendship and trust with a friend. You’re saying he has to get over it but many people don’t get over it and that’s also completely fine. Some relationships mean a lot to people and you never know what actually happened between them two so you can’t be the one to make decisions for how he feels. I just personally wouldn’t do that to another person because it very likely feels like betrayal. Sure he isn’t a part of her life but he is a part of yours since he is your friend. Not considering his feelings and only hers is a shitty way to go in my opinion.
jaydoes: I would completely agree with this if we were talking recent breakup or if the guy were openly dating the ex and trying to show up his friend. But in the case of two people quietly trying to potentially have a relationship and trying not to make a big deal about it, it's really no one's business but theirs. This idea that friends have some sort of squatters rights to all their exes in case they might want to date them again, is pretty misogynistic.
LoveThyself3: That’s not what they had in mind at all. At this point you’re projecting your personal views on the guy assuming he’s “claiming her” or as such. It will be a big deal especially since she complained about his friend to him so the past is already involved in their soon to start relationship at this point. It’s no ones business sure but he has every right to be mad and OP shouldn’t be surprised in any way. The discussion was never about who “claimed” her but the way you are responding makes me assume that you wanna make this whole situation about that. Again that’s not the idea here at all and no one really thinks his buddy has rights over an ex. It’s a simple gesture to show you care about whether you really care about your friends feelings or if you’re willing to throw that away for a relationship. Simply because you never know how someone might feel and there’s always nothing wrong with caring about those around you (especially if you have 7 years in your friendship) I guess we can see that you answered that for yourself with your response.
jaydoes: I don't know how you completely twisted what I said around to mean the opposite but yeah, it's as simple as she's been single for months now, she is free to do whatever she pleases. There is no rule that once you've dated someone no one else can touch her.
LoveThyself3: Sure there’s no rule for anything in this situation but it’s just being a decent person by communication especially if you have a valued friendship with that person.
jaydoes: For a reasonable amount of time, sure. The idea that this is an endless thing for all of eternity, is where it goes wrong. Once you're not a couple anymore and your friend has observed a reasonable "mourning" period, there's no claim anymore. Everyone is free to do as they please. I've never actually had a friend who thought like this. In our world, you stay clear until the mutual entanglements have been cleared and then everyone does as they please. There's no, oh I dated her months ago so now she's marked and no one can touch her. You handle your shit and then you get over it.
| 19 | 265.842105 | |
1663179383 | 1663189559 | t3_xe93mm | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: tifu by getting arrested
[deleted]
pdxscout: You should delete this.
Dallenforth: Unfortunately the internet never forgets
https://imgur.com/a/o1UeOeD
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1663180590 | 1663222700 | t3_xe9lck | t5_2to41 | 679 | Clean_Professional19: TIFU by agreeing to be my best friend’s girlfriend
Before I start I want to say that English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes.
I (15F) and my best friend (13F) have been friends for almost a year. We met each other online and we tell each other everything. She is a lesbian and I'm bisexual. Today she confessed to me that she has a crush on me and asked me to be her girlfriend. I said yes because I didn't want to hurt her feelings
because I know she is afraid of rejection. Honestly don't have feelings for her and I only like her as a friend and her friendship means the world to me but
I don't want a relationship. She also told all of her irl friends and her parents that's I'm her girlfriend now and they congratulated her. Her parents even want to visit my country now since we're dating. I know sound like a terrible person and you guys would hate me for what I did. I want to break up with her
and be honest with her but I don't want to hurt her feelings since I want us to continue being friends. Do you guys have any advice?
TL;DR I agreed to be my best friend’s girlfriend but I don’t have feelings for her and I want to break up without hurting her feelings
bryeds78: There's no good way to do it at this point... have to be honest. Tell her that you realized you said yes to not hurt her feelings and that you want to be close friends. You can't control her feelings. Remember. She's 13. You're also only 15. You're both very young. It's surprising to me that a family would encourage a 13 year old to invite someone they are "dating" to visit their country. It's one thing to have them over for dinner when you go to the same class, it's something completely different when you're that age and you're talking about international travel.
Be honest, be open. It'll hurt, it'll sting, but it's the truth. There will be lessons to learn and I am sure people will feel hurt and said, but it's a part of life and it's a learning moment. Good luck, I hope it goes smoothly. Just remember, she's 13, she'll be fine. You're 15, you'll be fine.
1dabaholic: international travel is very very common outside the usa buddy (which i’m guessing this is)
koeseer: i don't think a 15 years old is allowed to travel internationally to visit their girl/boyfriend.
PuzzleheadedAd6574: You'd be surprised then, people of all ages are allowed to fly internationally to do whatever they so feel as long as it isn't breaking a local law.
candie_bits: Im suprised a lot of people are that rich
Prudent_Contribution: Depending where you are a flight in Europe is like $80
candie_bits: Thats how much a flight cost when you book your ticket before 1 week and your traveling within my country. But its probably just me not wanting to spend alot of money
| 8 | 84.875 | |
1663138691 | 1663515317 | t3_xduyww | t5_2to41 | 135 | Meirix713: TIFU by leaving a bottle of water out and ruining myself and my boyfriend financially
Edit: I typed and posted this last night but had to wait for mod approval until just earlier
This happened yesterday. Now I know what you're thinking, and no this isn't a "$10,000 in the hole wallstreetbets" style of ruined financially, but it does leave us in a much worse spot than we were before.
About a month ago my boyfriend and I got a puppy. We'd been talking about it for quite a while, I didn't want one, he wanted one and eventually talked me into it. Since then since he works and I'm in school full time from home the puppy has become 100% my responsibility even when he's home. I can't work for a few reasons, mainly struggling badly with depression and chronic anxiety. A puppy to take care of was the last thing I needed, but that's a rant for another time. She wasn't super cheap and he'd been saving up for a while, so bringing her home took a good chunk of our savings and now she's over doubled her cost in damage I've been really involved with her since then working daily with her training and such, but she's a breed known for their energy and destructiveness when bored. I take this into account and try my best not to leave her alone out of her crate for too long, but leaving her in there isn't a good option either since she'll cry and cry and we live in a badly soundproofed apartment.
On top of the overwhelmingness of a new puppy that I wasn't prepared for, my boyfriend fell at work last Friday and popped his knee out. We aren't 100% sure how bad or permanent the damage is yet, but he's now had two visits and two separate x-rays since then and has been referred for an MRI. The good news is it was a work injury so hopefully workers comp will kick in, but we haven't heard anything about it so far and they take their sweet time. The bad news is I'm now taking care of a full apartment, cooking, cleaning, caring for an overly energetic and stubborn puppy, and caring for another overly energetic and stubborn puppy with a bum leg (my boyfriend). This may not seem like a lot to some of you, but with my mental health being in the state equivalent to Texas right now Im really struggling to stay on top of it all.
Now that I've written a small essay in backstory, on to the fuck up. Since all of the above, the only income we have right now is a small monthly stipend I get from the VA for being enrolled in school, which I now can't do either because TIFU and left a bottle of water on my desk. I had to run from my computer to help my one legged boyfriend do something that I don't even remember now, but he called my name across the apartment so I didn't think about the dog or what was on my desk and shuffle-ran to help him. When I got back, there was my puppy with my half eaten sandwich now on the floor and a smug look in her eyes. I wasn't too upset, it was my fault for leaving it there. But when I looked to grab my water only to see it tipped over now empty dripping off the desk, the full fear of God hit me. Sure enough, over half the bottle was now dripping into my open top computer case, spilling over everything. It's fried. Everything I have is on that computer. Everything I need for myself, my school, my boyfriends medical crap, everything. All gone from one single badly placed water bottle and a puppy.
I'm a computer nerd for a hobby, and enjoy relaxing at the end of the day with a few games. I pulled it apart immediately and let it sit for a day with a fan on it all praying all night it would be fine, but of course, it's never that easy. After troubleshooting for most of the night and a new power supply, which was the only part I could afford to replace, it still wasn't booting up all the way. I've deduced I have a brick for a graphics card, and after plugging my boyfriends card into mine, it still doesn't work. It boots and pretty colors turn on, but the monitor won't light up plugged into either the card itself or the motherboard. Which means at least the CPU or motherboard is fried too. If not both. I haven't been able to bring myself to test the hard drive because if that's borked too then I'm quadruple fucked. If I replace the same 3 parts in that I have now without downgrading, I'm out at least a grand. On top of it all, while typing this up trying to relax in the bath after breaking down over how expensive it will be to fix and all the money we don't have, my boyfriend has informed me that the puppy threw up all over the floor of the closet after eating half of a pizza that he left sitting on the coffee table unattended. So now I have to go clean that up.
Rant over. Sorry for the mess of a post but I just can't think straight and needed to vent. On mobile so apologies for poor formatting and typos. Thanks for reading, kind words of encouragement are welcome, I definitely need it right now!
TL;DR
Got a new puppy I wasn't prepared for. Full time college student. Only income from my boyfriend working and a small stipend from school. Boyfriend whacked his knee on the pavement and I've been overwhelmed since. Well, I was overwhelmed before, but now it's triple-fold. Puppy knocked the water off my desk directly into the only nice thing I have, my PC. Now my boyfriend can't work and I can't do my schoolwork. Puppy then threw up pizza she got into while I was trying to take 20 minutes for myself to relax after this shit show of a weekend and type this up.
tardersos: I just can't believe he got a dog that you didn't want and he doesn't do anything with the dog. I would be pissed. I'm generally not a confrontational person and I get the feeling you aren't either, but there are times when you need to put your foot down and say "hey take care of your fucking dog"
Meirix713: Ive tried. The agreement we had when we got her was that I would take care of her during the day and work with her training, and he needed to take her out for potty when he was home. His reasoning quickly became that he works all day and pays for everything and he's tired when he gets home. I'd have to tell him she needs to go out when she starts sniffing around for a spot to pee, and he wouldnt do it in a timely manner. Because she's still being potty trained it's crucial to be fast. I didn't feel like I should have to tell him to do it in the first place but if I don't it didn't get done and if I did it didn't get done fast enough.
I wish I could put my foot down harder but if I had told him to take care of the damn dog there would be potty and poop all over the house and it would be me who cleans it up because again, it wouldnt get done if I didn't.
tardersos: > he works all day and pays for everything and he's tired when he gets home.
Just tell him you'll remember this because in a few years it'll be you making the money.
I understand where he's coming from with that, but he shouldn't have gotten a dog if thats how he's going to look at it. I also understand its too late for should haves, but I know if my gf got another dog without considering what I had to say and then made me take care of it, I'd be pissed.
Meirix713: Him royally fucking up his knee has thrown a wrench in the whole who takes care of the dog argument, and I've told him he's lucky that I had already pretty much given up on asking him to help when that happened lol
Every relationship has it's faults and this post definitely makes him out to be the bad guy, but we've had a few discussions about it so far and he says he knows he's been in the wrong about it. As his knee heals he'll be doing more but time will tell.
On the plus side, she's AKC registered in my name now so 🤷
Perkinstx: Get rid of the dog, he's not living up to the agreement, and you don't have to put up with that, if it causes a big fight leave, this won't be the last time he puts you in a situation that you didn't want to be in
Meirix713: I get where your coming from, though the main point of the story was supposed to be losing my computer lol, I guess I used it to rant a bit about everything. I currently rely on him financially but don't see myself wanting to leave regardless. There's a lot of stressors for both of us outside of what the post touched on.
As for the dog, I don't want to get rid of her. I love her more than I thought I would and even though she's a wild and untamed puppy she's been better for me and my mental health than I expected. She holds me to a pretty strict schedule that I can't ADHD my way out of and I've seen more sunlight in the past month than I have in the past year lol
Perkinstx: I hope you start to see the problems here before it's too late
Meirix713: I definitely see the issues here and I'm well aware of both of our toxic traits. I'm a firm believer that people grow together
Foreign-Cookie-2871: Not always. My ex bf only grew the moment I left his ass. I didn't leave because of immaturity alone, but that helped (him). I talked to him recently and he feels much more fulfilled.
Your bf is behaving lazily. He's also behaving in a manipulative way, and it doesn't seem he's trying to help (however he can, help doesn't need to be physical) even now that he's home
| 10 | 13.5 | |
1663184626 | 1663186258 | t3_xeb9mu | t5_2to41 | 12 | AyooStory: TIFU by telling my boyfriends mother she’s the reason we ever broke up.
[removed]
RudeSprinkles1240: You're a 40 year old man, aren't you?
AyooStory: Why would you think that? No hate I’m honestly just curious. Is it the way I type? English isn’t my first language so it’s possible
RudeSprinkles1240: I comment that on every post that claims to be from a young woman. It's my own private little joke.
AyooStory: That’s a relief haha I was worried that maybe I’m too official in the way I type. Thanks for explaining
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1663161027 | 1663236149 | t3_xe1m90 | t5_2to41 | 42 | n3684q: TIFU by getting spicy chill on my sausage
M (26) Hi folks, I'm a long-time viewer/listener (shout-outs to R/Slash & Storytime for getting me through my afternoon transits back home and some tough times with consistent fun content). I've always wanted something to post...but I didn't think this would be the story. :'D
I was visiting a friend's family home in her home country with another friend. We were cooking lunch. I was chopping the vegetables (including the chili peppers). The chilis we were using were somewhere between a 6-7 on the Scoville scale (so definitely not the hottest things out there, but hot enough). I needed to go pee. Having had previous experience with garlic I washed my hands before going (and after of course). When I went back to continue chopping I felt a tingly sensation that rapidly grew into a burning one. I asked one friend "could you chop these? i need to go shower." I went washed off and thought all was well. Oh, my sweet summer me. The pain returned fast. I went a second time, and my two friends were having a laugh at my expense whilst cooking. When the second time did not work, the friend-with-whom-we-were-staying's sister, who is a trained nurse, got some milk out of the fridge and handed it to me. We burst out laughing (laughing helps with pain). I get a glass, fill it up, go to the shower and begin to use this milk as a body wash on my wiener......ahhh blissful relief followed shortly thereafter. This story was told to all family members that came round for food that day. Remember kids.....if you think you've washed your hands of the chili, there's probably still some there.
TL;DR - I got chili on my wiener and had to clean it with cow's milk and my friend's entire direct family had a good laugh at my expense.
AcrobaticSource3: I was hoping that the sister would start sucking out the chili. Were you?
n3684q: That would have just spread the chili around it further!
| 3 | 14 | |
1663186689 | 1663192463 | t3_xec463 | t5_2to41 | 274 | [deleted]: TIFU by never having seen Star Wars and ruining it for my friend.
[removed]
Due-Profession-3563: Oh damn that is some sweet sweet funny right there. Poor kid. But that's pretty funny.
Jakubada: kid is scarred for life. but a great laugh anyway :D
jaggoffsmirnoff: It always works out in the end.
| 4 | 68.5 | |
1663185117 | 1663262819 | t3_xebgsy | t5_2to41 | 6,694 | madpiratebippy: TIFU by ruining my boyfriend's proposal by being disabled.
[removed]
MercurialMal: Who in the fuck *twerks* or grinds on people to Heilung to begin with? Smh.
madpiratebippy: Someone looking for a cover to be able to bully someone while keeping it all deniable.
It’s the exact same thing middle school girls do when bullying. Which sadly I got plenty of experience with as a kid.
InternationalBunch22: You’re now projecting your childhood trauma onto this.
Aminar14: No. She's really not. This isn't music you grind on someone too. At all. It's weird behavior for a Heilung concert. And this isn't an invisible disability. The walker is a dead giveaway to give the person a bubble.
InternationalBunch22: Even if it is true she is literally projecting her middle school bullying experience onto this now, when she even earlier said in the original post that the girl was most likely doing it cause she felt comfortable.
AffectionateTitle: …felt comfortable encroaching on her space.
It’s not really projecting to make a comparison. She said the woman exhibited a behavior that is a lot like bullying when OP was young.
Projection is the most silly misused buzzword on Reddit. Apparently making any deduction from your past experiences is just projection.
Projecting means taking traits that *you feel you yourself have* and projecting them on someone else. If you’re going to accuse someone of something at least use it correctly.
InternationalBunch22: Ah well I don’t think it was just a comparison. I think because she was bullied in the past in that manner, she thinks any kind of instance like this is someone trying to bully her even if that isn’t the case. Perhaps projection isn’t the right word, is there a word or term for that if projection doesn’t fit?
AffectionateTitle: > I think because she was bullied in the past in that manner, she thinks any kind of instance like this is someone trying to bully her even if that isn’t the case.
And where do you get that idea from?
InternationalBunch22: What do you mean where? From her comment. It’s not like that can be a factual observation just like hers can’t bet, as I said it’s how I felt. Is there a better word tho? I’m being serious don’t think I’m being facetious with that question
AffectionateTitle: So? Why does what she observes or perceive have to be fact? That’s how she perceived that behavior and that is often a tactic bullies use. And based on other context clues, why is what she said such a poor hypothesis?
You’re more willing to believe OP is delusional and “projecting” than you are that what she said has an inkling of truth? Than believing that she knows what antagonistic behavior looks like? Why?
InternationalBunch22: I believe her perceived intentions of the other girl are delusional yes. Why does it matter? Because if her perception is wrong then she is painting someone out to be a bully who isn’t. Literally have people in this thread saying they’d look for that girl. Can you see how that kind of talk could be dangerous, especially if that was never actually the girls intention? If I’m a bully for saying something about it so be it. Now are you going to answer my question man about the word man?
AffectionateTitle: > I believe her perceived intentions of the other girl are delusional yes.
Why? She put up with this girls behavior all night— Do you think she can’t perceive when she’s been bullied purely because she has a history of being bullied?
> Literally have people in this thread saying they’d look for that girl. Can you see how that kind of talk could be dangerous, especially if that was never actually the girls intention?
Did you read the OP? Did you read what that girl *said* to her? She was intentionally being rude and physical.
Also dangerous? Oh come on that’s a bit hyperbolic don’t you think? This isn’t the Boston Bomber.
InternationalBunch22: I do believe that may be possible yes.
And also as I said before the girl was in the disabled section, perhaps the other girl was disabled too. She was rude when the OP said something to her which sure wasn’t nice but doesn’t mean she was bullying her the whole night.
Don’t you think Boston bomber is a bit of a exaggeration? I’m just saying that type of talk and instantly taking someone’s word for it can lead to bad assumption.
AffectionateTitle: “You’re milking this” and gesturing to the walker and not giving the person space is bullying. That is not simply rude—that is ableist bullying. It doesn’t matter if she is *also* disabled, she was bullying a disabled person based on their apparent disability.
> Don’t you think Boston bomber is a bit of a exaggeration? I’m just saying that type of talk and instantly taking someone’s word for it can lead to bad assumption.
No you said it was *dangerous*—I proposed something that was actually a danger. If it really isn’t dangerous and just leads to a “bad assumption” then that was silly to assert on your part. I only matched your hyperbolic assertion with a matching example.
Also why should I “help” you find a word to peg this girl with? I’m not your linguistic sensei. If you feel it’s so necessary to put a label on OP you can do the footwork of finding one that actually fits.
InternationalBunch22: Doesn’t really fit bullying too me but whatever floats your boat.
Semantics
Be a petulant brat for all I care, if you don’t know the word just say it simple as that man 🤷🏽♂️.
AffectionateTitle: Maybe you’re just projecting
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