start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1663195403 | 1663196259 | t3_xefp2x | t5_2to41 | 9 | Ashwie16: Tifu by breaking up with a religious person
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MrPierced: Bullet missed there 😁
Ashwie16: That’s what I was thinking but I kind of feel bad because someone told me that I’m being disrespectful to his religious beliefs
MrPierced: How ? His beliefs are hos not to be forced onto others or disrespectful to others. He can believe in what he wants and should not be disrespected for that but NO ONE has to agree or put up with his disrespect.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1663194413 | 1663201140 | t3_xefb5s | t5_2to41 | 15 | museumthrowaway1980: TIFU by accidentally defacing museum property?
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invictussaint: This is literally Harry Potter. Shut up.
mafiaknight: Ah. That makes so much more sense. It’s not just some ridiculously rambling endless tale, it’s a shitpost version of harry potter!
invictussaint: Literally my first reaction was "Um ACTUALLY that was ink 🤓" because I never got rid of my stupid middle school urge to do that. This was wiiild.
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1663204630 | 1663205730 | t3_xej48a | t5_2to41 | 15 | Catzillaaa: TIFU by pretending to be my friend
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rusty6899: You put the phone down.
Catzillaaa: I’m trying 😕
heeyyyyooo: Sounds like some R Kelly stuff going on here, you are teens and he’s 3-4 years older. And you being silly enough to send him pictures of yourself as if you are your friend shows how immature you are. I’m assuming you are 15 or 16 which makes this guy a pedophile and what he is doing is seriously illegal. Bring this up with an adult that can help fix this situation before it gets significantly worse.
Catzillaaa: I’m gonna try to end them tmrw
| 5 | 3 | |
1663206247 | 1663210510 | t3_xejor9 | t5_2to41 | 18 | holodomorhappened: Tifu by winning a fight
For clarification, I, (m 19) am in high school. I should've graduated but I flunked super hard and got held back a year. Anyways, I am one of the "weird kids" I'm made fun of for dressing (apparently) like an emo kid, listening to vocaloid, liking little kids cartoons like unikitty and craig of the creek, among other things. Not to mention that I'm a skin and bones thin 5'9 dude who's as pale as a vampire. I'm not very hot, to say the least. I rambled a little, but basically theres this group of kids at my school. We'll call them Ryan, Miley, Daren (for dude karen) and Alex. Me and Alex are actually pretty chill, he's friends with my boyfriend so maybe that's why. But the others? Oof. The others HATE ME. Especially Daren. I'm not sure why. Either way, today at lunch I was with my boyfriend and a few of my fellow weird kid friends when I suddenly got soaked. I look behind me to see Daren and Miley standing behind me. I'm not sure where Ryan was, but for some reason he wasn't there. Daren had poured his water on me!
Now Daren was laughing. Miley was too. But then Daren started whipping out slurs, which I think caught Miley off guard. He called me the f slur and the n slur. I'm not sure about the n slur though. Like I've said I'm not dark at all. Not even light skin latino, I am snack that smiles back cracker jack white. And Daren isn't black either! I think he's Irish actually! Anyways, I'm sitting here, soaking wet and being called slurs. But then he turns to my boyfriend. For reference, my boyfriend is a transgender but extremely well transitioned. The only thing that makes it obvious is that he wears a LOT of trans pins. I think they look cute, but clearly Daren didn't. He called my boyfriend the t slur and shoved him to the floor. At first I was frozen, then everything sorta went red. The next thing I clearly remember is seeing Daren bruised with a bloody nose as my boyfriend hugged me and my friends held me back. Then the principal dragging me to the office and screaming at me. I didn't feel bad until I found out that I might've concussed him. Somehow they knew that fast I guess. And now I'm not allowed in the cafe for the rest of the school year and I'm probably getting held back again.
TL;DR
I whooped a racist and homophobic kid's ass now I'm facing the consequences. :/
John1225: No, what you did was wrong. It's never okay to assault someone for hurting your feelings. Grow up and stop watching cartoons
goodforabeer: So you missed the part where the guy shoved OP's boyfriend to the floor?
John1225: And? The threat was over, he acted out of revenge
PrinceDietrich: No, he defended someone he cares about who got assaulted.
| 5 | 3.6 | |
1663216157 | 1663247286 | t3_xen40k | t5_2to41 | 25 | Pretty-Extension5927: TIFU by complimenting a woman's boobs on Instagram
Long story short I'm a local rapper (Portland, Oregon) in my early 20's and I make a living doing shows and gigs and freelance music work. I'm bisexual and at a lot of clubs (Particularly Candy lounge and sanctuary club) and shows I tend to get down with men and women of various ages and sizes nightly. I also run a decent sized Instagram page for my city where I post my raps, performances, music videos, promotional items, tour dates etc. Most of the women particularly (Men being an entirely different subset of game) that I get with have a very particular way they enjoy being talked to that I've engrained into my brain. Well there's one girl I went to high school with who started following my Instagram page.
She watched a few of my stories and hearted them so I figured she had a mild interest in me. I checked her profile and there was nothing but photos of her in push up bras, videos of her twerking and her bio said she was a "bad bitch". So considering I thought she was very attractive and I've been with plenty of people like her before I DM'd her extremely confidently by saying "You have nice t\*\*s". She responded immediately by saying "You're gross! Get a life! Pathetic excuse for a man!" and then she blocked me and put out a warning about me to all of her friends online. Her father then Dm'd me saying he was going to split my head with a tree branch if I ever did that again.
Jeez alright, I guess flirting sexually with 19 year old's above the age of consent is now a severe crime warranting death.
TL;DR I thought I had a shot with this girl on Instagram I went to high school with, so I complimented her boobs on Instagram and she blocked me and caused a huge panic over it.
​
EDIT: For those saying I'm lying, [here's a screencap of the conversation.](https://imgur.com/a/BRZgm3U)
​
Update: I apologized for the incident and it's forgiven now. I realize now this was a trashy bad thing to do.
Mp32pingi25: You thought you had a shot. So your first thought was “hey nice tits” on fucking insta. Are you fucking 15? I see you said early 20s but no way or this shit is made up BS
Pretty-Extension5927: I mean the brain doesn't even really develop fully until 25 so why would this surprise you. If you think I'm bad you haven't met 90% of people my age lol.
LurksAroundHere: I always love when people trot out the old "brain not fully developed until 25" line to excuse stupid behavior. Yeah, it may not fully finish developing until then, but it doesn't mean you had a whole ass blank slate before that. 25 is just the finish line, the 24 years preceding that should be where your knowledge has built upon itself over the years. If not, then you're just a 24 year old sucking on a binky and crapping themselves in a diaper.
Pretty-Extension5927: I am basically a 24 year old crapping himself in a binky and sucking on a diaper.
Lined_the_Street: And that excuses idiotic behavior...how?
| 6 | 4.166667 | |
1663156795 | 1663236485 | t3_xe03gf | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU my fertility test
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Auroraburst: I'm sure they've dealt with worse than a pot of cum
roodeeMental: That's very kind of you to say
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1663232931 | 1663265845 | t3_xerx6j | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying a 3 day water fast
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[deleted]: You need water though, for like everything. The point of fasting isn't to hurt you, it's to clear your mind of your next wanton desire so you can focus on what's important. You can survive for 2 or 3 weeks fine without food, but it'll be very irritating. But you shouldn't go more than half a day without water.
[deleted]: I did drink water. A water fast is when you go without food but still drink water
| 3 | 1 | |
1663240543 | 1663245714 | t3_xeu4jd | t5_2to41 | 54 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeping into the Women's Only section at the gym
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Meowplayz: Bro i started reading it and just as i did it got deleted fucking hell
Nobody957: Basically he took a peak into the lady's only section of the gym when it was very early hours because he thought nobody else was there. After talking to his sister, he was intruiged that they didn't have a squat rack in their area of the gym. When checking it out, he was spotted by a woman he hadn't seen was in there and realised he looked like a total creep because the womens only area was ajoined by the the womens changing area. Innocent, yet very embarrassing mistake.
Meowplayz: ah thanks u very much
| 4 | 13.5 | |
1663252015 | 1663348362 | t3_xey7tu | t5_2to41 | 8 | ThatMrZ: TIFU by telling my partner to have 10% less self worth
For a bit of background to hopefully have this make a bit of sense and point out I’m not a total jerk. My partner (24F) and I (29M) have been together for a bit over 3 years now, and we’ve known each other for almost 5 years. We met at work, grew closer as friends when we started working more closely together (her and I basically were the backbone of our team for a good while until we both left to find better jobs). We started dating while we worked together and kept the relationship going afterwards because things were going well, we liked each other enough I guess to not say see ya even after we stopped working together, so that’s great. We have a lot of the same interests, music taste, food taste, etc. It makes for a fairly easy going relationship.
We don’t really fight the typical way you imagine couples to argue or fight over things. We’re both passive people for the most part, she deals with a lot of anxiety and absolutely hates confrontation (I don’t like I either but two different degrees). Communication isn’t the best on either side, but it’s something we continue to work on and try to improve as a couple looking to continue to love each other should. It’s all about communication and working on things together right?
Here’s the fun part, she’s right goofy, in the most adorable way possible. It’s kind of hard to describe, but man I wish I just had a go pro on basically all the time to capture her just being herself because the content is pure gold, and that’s one of the things I love about her, is just how straight up goofy she is, weird sounds, kicking motions all the time, waiting for the microwave dances, these are just the tip of the iceberg. I wish everyone could experience the full ham experience, but sadly it mostly goes unrecorded or unnoticed, as mentioned she deals with a lot of anxiety and doesn’t do too well in social situations, much prefers to listen and enjoy being in the background rather than being the focus of attention.
We have fun with small groups of friends, we don’t really party or do drugs, only drink casually.
I also consider myself to be a bit unconventionally silly or goofy, and while we share a lot of similarities in this regard with how our personalities are, we also differ a bit too. My stuff is a bit more vocal or open I guess? Dry comedy, weird one liners, stuff like that.
You may be thinking; get to the point fam this is taking forever, well if you’ve stuck with me this far, here’s where the TIFU kicks in, we also like to joke around a lot, I love pointing out the goofy stuff she does to her and questioning what it is because I love the background story. I love hearing her say silly things like that’s the dance she does when she’s waiting for me to tie my shoes, etc. We’ll joke around in public too, for the most part just between us because we don’t want to involve random people in stuff, but we have a good time when we are together, such as when we do groceries.
Last night after we cleaned up from supper we went out to do groceries which we try to do on weeknights because it’s less busy and typically that’s when we’re both free based on our schedules. I work three jobs and do some extra curricular activities too, so weekends can be tough both time wise and with more people at stores. We finish up in the store and for some reason we get on the conversation of her having an OnlyFans account, I bring this up jokingly sometimes because oh my gosh is there a potential to make straight BANK, she’s got a butt that puts watermelons to shame, this thing is an absolute beauty and should probably be illegal (if nice butts were illegal). Safe to say she’s got a wonderfully beautiful posterior if you’re into that sorta thing, and that’s not even including the fact that it’s conventional, comfy wherever you sit. See, that’s the beauty, a butt that you’d see Indiana Jones try and switch a bag of sand for in the Temple before having to try and escape, you could post content without anyone knowing who you are, and still make straight bank because there’s a market. Heck, I’d pay to have her putt deli meat on that relic, but I’m a weird guy, so there’s that market I’m talking about, and who doesn’t love a nice butt?
So as we’re putting away the groceries in the car and the cart in the cart area, I, a little more loudly than I should have say that her not wanting to do an OnlyFans wouldn’t be a problem if she “had about 20% more confidence” and that she “just needs to have about 10% less self worth”.
ENTER RANDOM NPC. As these two things come out of my mouth, this other person comes walking by our car and to my partner’s information heard me loud and clear, because while I missed all of this, the person proceeded to look at my partner in her beautiful eyes, then shoot me the absolute sharpest of daggers because of what I just said. In all fairness, yeah that sounds really bad and should I choose my timing better and probably even my words? 100%, but my partner knows that I would never push her to do anything she doesn’t actually want to or meaningfully tell her she needs to have less self worth. On the contrary, I think she’s one of the most amazing women I’ve ever met and even though our relationship hasn’t been perfect, she’s the one person I love the most and want nothing more for her to be happy, loved and have her feel confident about herself which is why I try to also compliment her as much as I can think of in my tiny scattered brain.
So circling back, I notice none of this but when we get into the car, my partner tells me what happens and my instant thought is overthinking (because that’s what I’m famous for in my own head) is I overthink EVERYTHING. You name it, it’s been overthought or obsessed over. I was recently diagnosed with OCD which kind of explains some of the things I never understood but I digress. So now, there’s this person that may or may not have recognized one of us, that DEFINITELY thinks I am an absolute trash person who thinks nothing of his partner. So not only will I be stuck thinking about this for months on end because it won’t really exit my head and overthinking all the stuff surrounding it, but I’ve now given an absolutely awful impression of myself and mine/my partners relationship to some random person, and when all you do is overthink, you worry a lot about what people think about you (even strangers) so this hits home hard.
The good news is, my partner and I are fine, we laughed about it, watched one of our shows last night and went to bed together as we normally do. Bad news, some random person probably thinks I’m one of the worst things since sewage backup.
TLDR; Joked with my partner about her setting up an OnlyFans to make bank, to do so she’ll need 20% more confidence and 10% less self worth. Bystander heard me, apparently looked at me like she wished I was dead, and now I’ll overthink this for an eternity and always be that total manure pile in their eyes.
robotnique: The comment doesn't even make sense to me.
As near as I can tell you think she could do it if she was a bit more confident but valued herself less? I guess because having an OF is shameful?
Unless I'm am misinterpreting.
The_Man_87: Yeah that's the joke he was trying to make
ThatMrZ: ^
| 4 | 2 | |
1663254406 | 1663305188 | t3_xez62b | t5_2to41 | 30,000 | ta817273859: TIFU by needing Circumcision and my Fiancé leaving
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DarkRoseXoX: So quick question as a 22 year old who is now facing existential crisis.
Where do you live where you are marrying at your early 20s
ta817273859: A very shitty studio apartment on the bottom floor.
Zagar099: Seriously, why are you being downvoted for this?
Imagine thinking everyone should be living in an entirely unsustainable not to mention extremely costly house instead.
People are so strange.
thefunkygibbon: Because the question was most likely aimed at where in the world not what kind of house do you live in....??
Zagar099: Maybe they should've articulated their question better then? Idk. Not his fault they weren't clear in their question.
thefunkygibbon: Pfft well given the context why would it matter what sort of house they lived in?? Think about things before going all gung-ho on the keyboard
Zagar099: Sorry I don't consider it at all important whatsoever what country or even state the guy is in?
Why does *any* of it matter by that logic?
Silly.
It makes sense to bring up his apartment because that is more about where someone is at in life than what fucking place they were born in.
Tomii_B101: The place they are born gives huge context because in different cultures (usually lesser developed countries) people get married a lot earlier
Zagar099: And plenty of idiots here in the states also get married young- so again, not really relevant.
schaweniiia: Well, yeah, hence the question. Coming from (certain parts of) the States is dead giveaway. Not everyone on Reddit is from the US and has that cultural norm of being engaged at bloody 20.
Zagar099: And again, he answered the question. It was just a poorly phrased question. "Where in the world do you live" would've been far more apt and this entire comment chain wouldn't even exist
DumpsterCheez: What a strange hill to die on...
Zagar099: Guess so
| 14 | 2,142.857143 | |
1663266955 | 1663268192 | t3_xf48un | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by admitting to myself that i might still have feelings for my ex
[deleted]
ocdtrekkie: Here's my personal opinion, and I know it probably hurts to hear it: You may not have a future with your current partner. Actually getting back with an ex is also probably not a good idea: If he ditched you once, he probably will again. (Don't know the ages in question here, but this really just isn't a good recipe for success, generally.)
But like... is marriage in your future plans? If so, would you marry someone who doesn't appeal to you more than like... anyone else you've ever met on the whole?
I had sort of an ex who was very fond of me for every other reason except... absolutely no physical attraction to me whatsoever. She may have thought I was sweet and warm, and she said she loved me, but if she was thinking about other guys and wanting other guys... obviously not the formula for a lasting relationship. It absolutely hurt at the time (especially my poor ego), but I can't really be upset with her for making that call and being honest about it. (My first relationship dropped me without explanation and that ate at me for *way longer*.)
I am presently married, and the *most important thing* for me to know before I even got serious with the relationship was "is this person better for me than anyone else I've ever met." Your partner, whether you are looking for marriage or a long-term partner of some other sort, deserves to know, to be confident that you choose them over other people. I have absolutely no desire or interest in any ex, and that's not out of spite, it's just... I like the person I married way more than anyone else I've previously dated!
And here's the problem: Cheating isn't strictly a physical activity, and it doesn't even require flirting. Cheating can also be emotional, where your feelings and deeper thoughts are being shared to someone who isn't your partner.
It's admirable you don't want to hurt him, but if your head and your heart isn't with him, you are hurting him, because he deserves to be his partner's first choice. If he isn't, the *least* hurtful thing may be to let him find someone for whom he is their first choice.
Not saying you should make that call in the next five minutes, but you also shouldn't lead your boyfriend on long-term if you feel in your heart there are other people you might like more out there.
Ill_Paulie: Wish I could award this because this is way better than what I would have said.
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1663274332 | 1663519029 | t3_xf7aw6 | t5_2to41 | 110 | kosaisk: TIFU by eating raw flour.
TIFU by eating raw flour.
This morning I (15) was in a rush because I always am and I usually struggle to get out of bed, my mom had bought me my favorite coffee creamer yesterday so I decided to make coffee for the first time in a while today. (This is why I forgot coffee w vanilla creamer doesn't need sugar.) It was 6:10 and my bus arrives at 6:16 and I wanted oatmeal too so I tried making both at the same time which resulted in liquid oatmeal and FLOUR IN MY COFFEE trust me I realized it was flower once it plunked in there but it was already 6:14 so I was like yk what? And I grabbed a spoon and scooped the floating chunks from the coffee and went on my merry way to school drinking my chalky coffee. Now all I did know is that raw flour = bad but not why. Had I known, I would've just poured it out. So come 3rd period my stomach starts lightly cramping and I felt odd so I got curious, "What happens if you eat raw flour?" Doom. Food poisoning apparently. but luckily I got bored of the coffee beforehand and poured it out, yet that does not get rid of the fact that I've drank half of it already. I go on with my school day not feeling the greatest and w/o an appetite, I am now home and nauseous. My stomach isn't necessarily weak when it comes to coffee or anything but I'm so scared and worried and only because I don't have the mental stability to go through hours of throwing up and shitting, will I be okay??
TL;DR I accidentally dumped flour in my coffee and just drank it. Now im oddly nauseous.
GrayDonkey: Any chance you have celiac disease or are gluten sensitive? Normally a bit of flour won't do that.
kosaisk: I do get somewhat sick after eating flour tortillas to the point where I gag a little bit after eating them, but that doesn't mean I stop
cccccchicks: That is not a normal reaction to eating unless you are over eating to the point of nearly vomiting, in which case don't do that.
To be blunt, I'd strongly recommend mentioning it to your doctor when you can, as as eating things you are allergic to or otherwise can't digest can harm your long term health even if it isn't dangerous enough to kill you.
To answer your actual question, there are a number of stomach bugs you could have caught, but you probably haven't. So try not to worry too much unless you actually get ill. Usual rules apply if you start vomiting etc.
kosaisk: I'm 100% sure I don't over eat or force myself to, so i will definitely keep this in mind when I go to the doctors again and cautiously stay away from certain things, lol I just got done eating a breakfast burrito
| 5 | 22 | |
1663274579 | 1663360634 | t3_xf7ei9 | t5_2to41 | 63 | [deleted]: Tifu by accidentally helping my friend's stalker
[deleted]
byRuly: OP reaches to Amy after her gym session to tell her. She doesn't believe him, tells him not to contact her again. She then tells Eric, who burst out of the house. As soon as he leaves, Amy searches and finds his stalker info from the past, realizing the mistake she has made.
Eric goest to OP's house, to kill him. Amy, who had rushed to OP's house to apologize, finds him there, and in a turn of events, she ends up killing Eric.
Having saved his life, OP develops a crush on Amy, dumps his GF and asks her out and they live happy ever after.
Roll credits. The film is actually not that bad.
JSmellerM: But Eric isn't dead. He is in the hospital and appears to be braindead. The minute OP and Amy declare their love for each other he opens his eyes and he only has one plan on his mind. Get revenge on Amy by seducing OP. He succeeds and OP and Eric live happily ever after while Amy starts to stalk Eric.
zysis: Plot twist: Amy is actually Eric's father in drag, he pulled the whole charade off because Eric left the house with dirty dishes in the sink.
| 4 | 15.75 | |
1663276362 | 1663278906 | t3_xf85fu | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my girlfriend about my crush
[deleted]
GiiWiiniskwezensak: You didn't FU by telling her about your crush, you FU when you said you intentionally wanted to hurt her.
Moosebuckets: This
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1663277390 | 1663363200 | t3_xf8k6q | t5_2to41 | 170 | neighbourlyguyy: TIFU by smiling naked at a 5 year old
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Original-Trust-1665: ...buy blinds...use them
WayTooLazyy: Don’t think OP can afford such expensive things 💀
Original-Trust-1665: Spare bedsheet and some nails. Heck chuck the bedsheet over themself! Let the neighbours think youve got an odd ghost fetish
| 4 | 42.5 | |
1663281024 | 1663439507 | t3_xfa0ef | t5_2to41 | 14 | Loud_Ad_3737: TIFU by skipping class and getting wrote up
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FrontierLuminary: A person with such poor writing skills should not be skipping class.
Referrals are not going to ruin college for you. Don't skip class though.
Loud_Ad_3737: Lol this is online I would write more sophisticated in school and/or for important things
ardentArcane: I didn't think using paragraph breaks and basic full stops was "sophisticated".
It is extremely difficult to read as is.
Also, your attitude really needs some work. More to the point - college is going to be a lot more self-motivated study. They are not going to be super enthusiastic about having someone who goes "well I wasn't in the mood to attend class today so I didn't go", completely aside from anything else. Getting written up is going to be the *least* of your worries if you pull this kind of stuff in other situations in life.
Loud_Ad_3737: My bad if I’m coming off rude I didn’t mean to sound like that and also thank you for the feedback on my writing
ardentArcane: Mmm, less rude and more thoughtless, perhaps.
At any rate, it would not be a bad thing to bear in mind for future. Taking this kind of action now is one thing, but please learn from it, since if you do something similar in a more serious situation such as when you're a working adult, consequences to such a response could easily end with you losing your job - even if it is just the one time.
Loud_Ad_3737: Thank you, I’ll try to learn from what you’re saying. I’m pretty sure it would benefit anybody who is reading your comment
| 7 | 2 | |
1663285479 | 1663318823 | t3_xfbmzh | t5_2to41 | 8,871 | tonightifuckedupp: TIFU by investigating the noise in the kitchen
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HealthyLuck: Does he use sleeping pills? I’ve heard of people sleep-eating while on certain meds.
waetherman: Yes Ambien is famous for causing sleepwalking, especially if used with even small amounts of alcohol.
SpotfireVideo: Ambien is so bad, it killed Roseanne.
Swearimsober: You can pry my ambien from my peacefully sleeping hand
BeatitLikeitowesMe: You just need some good edibles that have cbn in them
sunshinefireflies: CBD?
eggrollin2200: Cbn causes the sleepy effect, and is actually a separate cannabinoid than CBD! I just learned this very recently haha
sunshinefireflies: Oooooh. Thank you :)
eggrollin2200: No prob! If you wanna get into an internet hole about it, a lot of stuff comes up just by searching “cbd vs. Cbn.” Have a great weekend!
sunshinefireflies: Aww, thanks internet sis :) you too!
BeatitLikeitowesMe: Pro tip- cbn generally is more consistent with its sedative effects when paired with even a small amount of delta 9 thc. Insanely better for the body than ambien
sunshinefireflies: Ooooooh.
*interested despite having zero access to specific gummies in my country lol
| 13 | 682.384615 | |
1663288002 | 1663309317 | t3_xfcixc | t5_2to41 | 317 | canipleasedisappear: TIFU by masturbating on a zoom call
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Schtevo66: If anyone heard you’d probably have an email from HR by now, think you’re in the clear
TangerineDream82: I wouldn't be too sure about that. Not everybody is a narc.
jaydoes: But if I was a co worker I would write I heard that on a t shirt and wear it to the next zoom meeting. Haha
mcnathan80: Just play CBAT while everyone's waiting for the meeting and see who starts sweating...
jaydoes: Haha
| 6 | 52.833333 | |
1663273519 | 1665612343 | t3_xf6ysv | t5_2to41 | 274 | Crazy-Dog-Society: TIFU by telling my best friend “I love you”
Ok so I completely fucked up here but here we go.
Me(22F) and my boy best friend(25M). Our moms have been best friends since childhood so we have known each other pretty much our whole lives. We are pretty close and stuff like hugs, him carrying me etc. aren’t something new to see us doing.
Recently I have started feeling him more as a friend which I kinda find annoying… The reason I find it annoying is bc he is my friend and I don’t want to ruin that friendship. Not only my friend but one of my closest and best friends. Back when we were teens he liked me for a while but after some time he made it clear he didn’t like me and he started dating others. We have never dated and at that time I was into another guy.
Saturday night he invited me out with friends at a bar and I accepted the offer. Headed to the bar and we drank a couple if drinks. The night was going pretty good. Then headed to the house of one of the other boys(29M). There we smoked some weed and drank more alcohol. By an hour later we were all waisted and high. We were about 12 people. Near the end someone(i don’t remember who) offered to play spin the bottle or truth. We played both. This is all I remember when we were there.
When we had to go back home I was COMPLETELY waisted and didn’t know what was happening around me. My best friend was probably the most sober of us so he called a taxi and got me home. I live on the fourth floor with no elevator so he had to give me a piggyback ride. All I remember is that I was blurting our random stuff and words that made absolutely no sense. I remember at one point I blurted out “I’m in love with you” or some shit like that. He stopped for a sec and then asked “what?”. My drunk self repeated what she said and we continued going up the stairs.
When I woke up in the morning I saw that he didn’t even spend the night over which is what he usually does when I’m alone and this out of earth. I went to the bathroom and while brushing my teeth all this came back to me… Needless to say I was HORRIFIED… I’m not gonna be surprised if I have done even more awkward shit in the past. I didn’t call him or text him the whole day. He did message me that day however(Sunday)if I was ok and if everything is okay. I have told him that I’m okay and asked him how he is and what he’s up to. He has left me on seen…I’m not sure if I can ever look at him in the eyes. He hasn’t contacted me in 4 days and I’m not sure he ever will… Mutual friends have been saying that when they offer to call me to hang out or something he always finds an excuse to leave and people are asking me why he is avoiding me as it’s becoming too obvious… I can say that I have royally fucked up…
The TL;DR:
I’m in love with one of my closest friends. Saturday night he invited me out to a bar to drink with friends. Ended up waisted at a friend’s house. He carried me to my apartment and My drunk self blurted out “I love you”. He hasn’t contacted me yet. It’s been 4 days…
KHALIL390_YT: We need updates. I feel bad for you tbh and I don't get why he did you like that ?
Crazy-Dog-Society: Just posted an update 😊
Bruh_No_Logic-2022: Where? I wanna see the update
Crazy-Dog-Society: Its on my page
Bruh_No_Logic-2022: I found it, thank you though. 👌👌
| 6 | 45.666667 | |
1663289777 | 1663291780 | t3_xfd4wx | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally hoeing out in college now I'm stressed
[deleted]
pisspaw: Sorry but gotta ask. How can you have multiple best friends? Lol
bffrPL: idk, theyre my bros, the homies
Blizzard_the_seal: hell yea theyre the bros!! u can definitely have several best friends its very cool
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1663293142 | 1663380929 | t3_xfebom | t5_2to41 | 14,791 | spiderlooroll: TIFU by wiping my butt with spiders
TIFU by wiping my butt with spiders
It happened today maybe like an hour ago. My spelling and grammar may be all over the place because this is so gross.
I’m staying for free at a family friends granny flat on holiday and am very grateful. The host is an elderly man with some blindness so I’ve been doing a bit of cleaning for him here and there as well as enjoying quality family time.
Most places in Australia if even slightly neglected will find a spider moving in. The bathroom in the unit I’m staying is not often used and had 4 daddy long legs when I got here. Daddy long legs are mostly harmless so I let them be.
Cue the fuck up. Changed the loo roll today and didn’t notice till after I wiped that there were black spots and a little NEST OF SPIDER EGGS ON THE TOILET ROLL.
I showered immediately and scrubbed all aspects of my anatomy (vagina and butt). I’m PETRIFIED I’m going to have a spider crawling out of my vagina oh my god.
TL;DR
Staying in an old unit, didn’t realise the toilet paper was a spider crèche and wiped with it after going to the toilet.
Slimjuggalo2002: Spiderman: A New Moist Home
Hazlitt_Sigma: Spider-Man 2: Up In Your Hoohoo.
Pottymouthoftheyear: Spider man 3: fuck, fuck, fuck, I can't see.
Emiluvik: Spider man 4: Shit, shit, SHIT
exrayzebra: Spiderman 5; help they’re crawling in me and alive
Hazlitt_Sigma: Spider-Man 6: Damn, They Were Actually Ticks
Director’s Cut with 3 hours of extra footage.
PsycDragon: Spider-Man 7: My ass is taking me to heaven!
eatenbyalion: Spiderman 8: my shits can procreate
Doodlastic_Dinkaling: Spiderman 9:Search for the egg
Hazlitt_Sigma: Spider-man 10: A big fat hen.
| 11 | 1,344.636364 | |
1663306003 | 1663327170 | t3_xfilag | t5_2to41 | 2 | throwaway4141241: TIFU by posting photos of me in makeup as a trans woman
[removed]
wanderingdev: Fuck her. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Miserable people want to make everyone else miserable too. :( I'm sure you looked great.
VirtualDeliverance: Yeah, she deserves to get fucked. Literally.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1663309877 | 1663333004 | t3_xfjq6x | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU BY TELLING MY EX’s GF THAT WE SLEPT TG
[deleted]
Zerychbrx13: A good question to ask yourself in those kind of situation is : why? Why did you do what you did? And to dig a bit until you find something that make sense.
Often times people do thing "without thinking" and afterward are at a loss on why they did it or what to do with the consequences. Well most, if not all, of the times there is a reason we do thing, sometimes it's obvious, sometimes it's not, sometimes we consciously make a choice and sometime not. But in almost all instances there is a reason.
If you want to stop making those kind of choice, find the reason why. Possibly with the help from a therapist if it's possible.
Anyway goodluck and of course, stop contacting any of them going forward.
mh0506: They said they were at their absolute lowest mentally, needed support, and the bf was there, so that’s probably the why. What they said in the post.
Zerychbrx13: That why she thinks it was remotely okay to do what she did. And I get that, but that's not the reason why it was something that would make her mental state better. What was so good in doing what she did? OK you were feeling pretty bad but in what world would letting your toxic ex crawl back into your life and then sleeping with him is supposed to make you feel better? And why would it?
That's obviously for OP to answer for herself.
mh0506: The thing about mental illness is that you may do things while actively understanding that it’s not morally correct objectively or safe for you. She kept in contact with the ex which is why he was able to manipulate back. Yes OP needs therapy, I just had an immediate reaction to your response because I see a lot of people respond to obvious mental health crises with “figure out why you did a wrong thing” rather than understanding that the whole time, OP was prob going “this is so wrong this is so wrong” and still texting bc they’re mentally not in a good place. Idk just my thoughts.
Zerychbrx13: Yes I get that, again the purpose of defining the why is not to say what OP did was wrong. There is no moral judgment here. That's not the point and it's absolutely counter productive in what seems to be the situation.
The purpose of the why is to understand the needs OP tried to fulfill doing what she did. Once you are able to identify that, thing get a bit easier.
BUT all that is supposed to be worked step by step in a safe environment, not alone in front of you computer. Hence the advice to seek therapy.
And again feeling like shit is not why she did what she did (both time), it's what led her there sure but that's not just it.
mh0506: I highly doubt OP is even seeking things that as you said “make them feel better,” but instead are doing self punishing activities that they know are wrong and don’t want to do. You said “what was so good in that” as in you thought they went through it logically and arrived at that plan of action. That’s all I’m saying is there sadly probably isn’t a true why.
Zerychbrx13: There is almost always a why, even if it is "I think I wanted to do something that would hurt me". That's better than he was here and I was feeling bad.
But there is usually more, at least that's my experience as a therapist.
As for the "went through it logically", I am not saying that in the moment, there was anything logical about what was going on. But it's also clear in the post that this situation has been evolving for some times. It's not just "I saw him in the street and we banged on my sofa 5 minutes later".
Anyway I belive there is more to it and that it would be very interesting to explore it for OP, in a way that make her understand how she works and what she needs when she's feeling like she did back then.
Self destructive behavior are often brushed as juste incoherent when they have (again GENERALLY) more sens that what we think (and OFTEN a pretty specific purpose).
| 8 | 1.875 | |
1663312157 | 1663318908 | t3_xfkdc0 | t5_2to41 | 23 | todatIFU: TIFU by yelling at my boyfriend
Me (22M) and my boyfriend (21M) have been dating for a year now
We both strongly dislike yelling due to our childhoods, we usually communicate our feelings and we have not had any issues so far
Hes insecure, he hates being called annoying.
Yesterday we were calling and I think he was playing a game. He started joking around calling me a whore, I started to joke around too, calling him a whore and a slut. Im pretty sure he wasn't listening because he was laughing and saying whore no matter what I said or asked. Eventually it got annoying.
I yelled at him to stop being a bitch and calling me a whore, that he's annoying and can't just stop when told to.
After that I kept going how annoying it was and I think called him annoying about 5 times while saying so
He went quiet, after a few mins I heard him get off the game and get in bed.
He's extremely distraught over me yelling, I apologized a bunch of times, he says it's okay and it was justified but I know that it wasn't okay and he isn't doing well.
He hasn't said a word to me today, besides a quiet good morning
I don't know how to make it up to him, he told me he's hurt and that he wants some space.
TL;DR Yelled at my boyfriend for joking around calling me a whore, he isn't speaking to me now
PorkAndMashedPotato: >I yelled at him to stop being a bitch and calling me a whore, that he's annoying and can't just stop when told to.
>After that I kept going how annoying it was and I think called him annoying about 5 times while saying so
Wait, are you leaving out the part where you tell him to stop? Or were you both joking around and then you immediately jumped to calling him a bitch?
todatIFU: That's the first part of my fuck up, I was jokingly telling him to stop but it turned into a more serious "stop" and he didnt realize it, I don't think he noticed my change in tone
PorkAndMashedPotato: I see. Do you love this guy? Because you called him a bitch and went on a rant about how annoying he is. I could never imagine doing that to a romantic partner. Sure, fights can be normal. But name-calling and swearing at someone in a serious manner is not a good sign for a relationship. It's downright cruel.
He should've stopped when you told him to stop, yes. That much is true. If your inside jokes tend to go off the rails like this and he has trouble with understanding tone, perhaps a safe word is in order? That way you and he can immediately know when the joking is over.
Next time you're angry, if you have the urge to start name-calling, just walk away. Then come back and discuss the issue when you have a cooler head.
Try to see this the other way around. What would it be like if he called you a bitch and then went on a rant about how annoying you are?
Also, your TL;DR is going to send the wrong message without the added context that being called a whore is an inside joke you're both in on.
todatIFU: I do love him, a lot. I'm angry at myself for yelling at him and what I said wasn't genuine, he isn't annoying to me and a simple misunderstanding doesn't make him a bitch in my eyes.
He can't tell between tones, hes never sure if someone is serious or not, knowing this I can't blame him for not understanding, I also feel like I could've said It directly instead of continuing saying stop. Usually our jokes don't go too far, this is the first time in months that it turned nasty
I'm never usually angry, I'm learning to calm down and communicate first rather than go straight to yelling
I'm not him, I don't feel the same things when insulted, he has a softer spirit, I don't.
Thank you for letting me know
PorkAndMashedPotato: Hey, acknowledging a mistake is further than many people get. You've apologised for this and now you both can try and move on from it.
Has he tried getting tested? He could potentially be somewhere on the spectrum if he has significant trouble with tones of speech.
todatIFU: He does suspect hes on the spectrum but he's scared of actually being diagnosed.
I never understood this reason but I try to understand and be supportive
PorkAndMashedPotato: I recommend softly encouraging him to go through with it. It's understandable that he would be afraid to do it, and he may even reject the answer that comes of it if he doesn't like it.
But it's much easier to deal with something when you know you're dealing with it. And it may lift a weight off his shoulders. Might be worth getting the take of others who are on the spectrum to see the positive and/or negative effects *knowing* has had.
todatIFU: Thank you.
Once he's ready to talk I'll bring it up and encourage him to see a professional
| 9 | 2.555556 | |
1663320613 | 1663321543 | t3_xfmm5x | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a sleepy but horny mf
[deleted]
BeerMeka: And he also didn't delete....
throwawaycustf: plss
BeerMeka: I'm sorry...
throwawaycustf: If he didn't then it's also the karmaaa I'm too horny for my own good 😔😔
BeerMeka: Aren't we all.... 😂
throwawaycustf: sadly....
| 7 | 3.714286 | |
1663316178 | 1663394381 | t3_xflfvf | t5_2to41 | 3,948 | SkeishDaLain: TIFU by accidently suggesting that I may be harvesting the organs from my co-worker when we meet up next month
**Context ->** I **(M)** work as a Software Developer on a company that employs people from many countries in Latin America, but the base of operations is in Mexico. Most of my direct co-workers live in places like Colombia, Chile and Argentina, while I do live in Mexico. One of my co-workers **(F)** will come visit next month and we are plan to meet up and go for drinks and have fun during her stay.
​
Yesterday I was on a virtual meeting where we were going to plan what to do the following sprint. I was the first one to join and then the co-worker in question did also. We started talking about work stuff and then I asked her what kind of stuff were her and her husband gonna do when they came to Mexico next month. She was a bit confused and I just asked if she was coming alone, to which she responded '*Yes, did not have enough money to buy tickets for both.*'
We continued our conversation while others started to join the meeting. I was trying to be nice and fun at the same time, so I was going to say something that suggested that she should prep her stomach for the Mexican food (since it's particularly spicy for foreigners) and her liver, for the amount of alcohol we will probably ingest. **But I had a brain fart and mixed everything...**
Instead of anything even close to what I was thinking I said. "So, are your organs ready for the trip?". Everyone was silent and she was extremely confused. Some parts of Mexico, in case you don't know, have a reputation for being dangerous and some foreigners have lost organs. It clearly sounded like I was going to harvest her organs when I met her for the first time in person... This was not my intention but that's the way it kind of came across, sadly.
I immediately noticed what I said and I tried to explain everything. Thankfully, she is a good sport and just laughed while everyone else was giving me shit for it. I cringe so hard every time I think about it and, now, every time we are on a meeting together, I feel so bad. We are cool but I can't contain my own cringe.
​
**TL;DR ->** I asked a co-worker if her organs were ready for her trip to Mexico where I am supposed to meet her for the first time. To make things worse, I just asked her if she was coming alone.
lufan132: Congrats on hiding your ties to the cartel. I was worried I'd have to kill you.
spunlikespidermike: I'm going to have to kill you for not hiding your ties to the cartel.
Pablinski21: Then I'm going to have to kill you for not hiding your ties to the cartel. (I'm not cartel boys)
Captain_Khora: I'm not cartel either but I'd be down for a suicide pact
ArmadilloNorth7211: Count me in! Now I definitely won't die alone.
Take THAT, high school bullies!
spearc: This got dark damn fast. 😧
Det-JakePeralta: Title of MY sex tape
nem012: Be honest... the lights were off from the beginning.
Det-JakePeralta: Well. The lights actually started off. Then I turned them on. She saw me and it got dark pretty quickly.
nem012: Yeah, I know the feeling. The birds usually faint at the sight of my bare loins, also.
It's a gift - and a curse.
Det-JakePeralta: Perfect for harvesting organs. Bringing it back!
nem012: I've always known that it was gonna end like this. Just let me grab some hepatitis and I'll be on the way!
Det-JakePeralta: A or b? Haha, C what I did there? Sorry to be a Dbag. Alright I'll reverse it and C my way out bcuz I'm ashamed of this
nem012: Bwahaha. You win. I'll buy your DVD.
Wiring the money now. (600 Dinar and not a Fils more)
| 15 | 263.2 | |
1663327384 | 1663503426 | t3_xfom08 | t5_2to41 | 38 | tohru-is-crazy: TIFU by telling my friend i maturbate
[removed]
eatshitake: Is this a religious/cultural thing?
soakedace: Yeah, I wondered this as well...
OP, not the advice you're looking for but it's just masturbation like... it's not bad.
If your current religious beliefs forbid it, and you're that devout ik sorry you have to feel that way - but just you're not doing anything wrong.
Idk what else to say. As for advice with your friend, just move on I suppose - harder done than said I'm sure but I think you'll make it work. I don't think there's anything you can "do" to change the situation.
tohru-is-crazy: thank you very much i started to think that as well but my depressed side just pushed it aside. thanks for the advice
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1663332914 | 1663368850 | t3_xfqkai | t5_2to41 | 18 | Kingbranos: tifu by not saying anything when I was ft my girlfriend
[removed]
Ultronomy: Sounds like something that would make for the worst day of your life at that age. Also, she cheated on you or did I misinterpret? She’s your first girlfriend, thus she must be the one who cheated on you. If that’s the case, best idea is to learn your lessons, and leave her. Though I know how your brain works in that age and how that seems impossible lol.
Edit: misread OPs post
Kingbranos: No shes my 3rd girlfriend
Ultronomy: Ah sorry, misinterpreted. Either way, you were going to have to hang out with her and her friends eventually. I hang out with my fiancés friends all the time and her with mine. It’s not really a weird thing, just seems like that when you’re young and insecure. Best of luck.
Kingbranos: It's our first date
imbavoe: So u two are dating and haven't been on a date yet? Have you seen each other IRL at least?
Kingbranos: I met her this Monday
Mikeyann: How do you get into a relationship with someone before even having one date? What is happening
Kingbranos: It's called internet
Mikeyann: Let me rephrase, how do you get into a relationship with someone you haven't even gotten to know, aka, went on dates with, virtual or real tbh.
Kingbranos: She broke up with me
| 11 | 1.636364 | |
1663228389 | 1663347498 | t3_xeqphq | t5_2to41 | 53 | Abaddon8666: TIFU by having a very poorly timed argument
[removed]
Crazydarkside4: Try understanding why the word isn't used in the first place even between friends, because the wrong person can overhear, and they don't know the joke.
I have an adult child who has had that word thrown at them a lot and trust me it fucks them up. Even now they are adult independent and bloody amazing. But overhearing that word or seeing certain looks hurts.
Next time don't say it, or grow a set of balls apologise. Don't bother explaining context it won't matter.
Abaddon8666: Context always matters, that's why I put it there. If something happens it's for a reason. Sorry you found my story offensive. It wasn't meant for that, it's meant for laughs like what me and friends got from it.
Crazydarkside4: It matters here yes. However I meant if you were going to apologise to someone, they won't care why you were laughing and bandying the r word around.
I have been walking with my child and heard people laughing and joking, muttering things like r, and spas, etc. Not !want towards us at all. However my child didn't perceive it that way, they thought they were being laughed at. Just saying sorry, would have helped.
I didn't find your story offensive I just wanted to show it through that girls eyes.
| 4 | 13.25 | |
1663346857 | 1663374050 | t3_xfwg79 | t5_2to41 | 2,444 | lbean23: TIFU working for FED-EX
First time posting here. Normally I just browse this subreddit for the interesting stories, but I feel like talking about what's going on.
I struggle with anxiety BAD. Like I can't even go to new places or meet new people without being stressed or freaked out. When I first applied to fed-ex it was due to desperately needing to pay rent. The thing that's killing me now is that I'm terrified to drive the massive trucks. I almost got ran off the road driving the bulky bitch, so I pulled off to a gas station, and now I'm just sitting and shaking. I feel completely useless and like no job is ever going work out. I'm terrified, I don't want to hit anyone with this truck. What do I do?
TL;DR I have way too much anxiety for the job I got hired for and almost got in a wreck.
Edit: a little bit of info I should have added. I do have driving experience, but it was for a small pizza place in my city. The change from driving a little ass car and working with close friends has been rough. I want to try again after I've gotten some extra training. Seriously thank you all🥰
AskAboutMyCoffee: How did you immediately become a driver? As far as Ive been told that's extremely rare.
UltimateMonky: He's probably working for Ground not Express. Ground is contractors, they'll put you in a truck as soon as you pass a short driving test.
lbean23: Yeah it's Ground and I'm a contractor. Never took a driving test though.
Trav3lingman: Box trucks are easy. Just an oversized pickup. Don't rush and watch your mirrors and you'll be golden
BrokenImmersion: Its not about how easy it is dude. Op has really bad anxiety should probably work on it and get some medical help for it
lbean23: Thanks you get it! I'm going to talk to my doctor about trying something different for anxiety and depression. I want this to work out and I'm going to try.
LonelyGamer1337: Sounds like your Amygdala is a bit overactive. You'll need Benzo's to help shut it off so you can function.
They suck and make you sluggish/drunk feeling but it's better than being so tense the slightest thing makes you flip.
Consult with your doctor as this isn't healthy behavior and will cause extreme stress or other mental/
health related issues later.
lbean23: Definitely going to the doctor to talk about different meds, but in all honesty fuck benzos :)
LonelyGamer1337: I'm not a fan of them either, Ive just accepted the fact I'm going to live a short miserable life riddled with anxiety.
| 10 | 244.4 | |
1663354305 | 1663382479 | t3_xfzmv9 | t5_2to41 | 221 | Burner_For_Reason: TIFU by shitting my pants
[removed]
bhillen83: Gotta lay off those sugar free Haribo gummy bears bro.
johnysmoke: Are those the ones that go right through almost the same consistency they go in?
bhillen83: From what I have heard much more liquid coming out.
johnysmoke: Had a nextdoor neighbor my freshman year of college, this was 1993 if I remember correctly, he had what I remember as 5lb bags of these gummy bear things his mom would get him. Some nights we'd smoke weed, order bad pizza, eat these things by the handful, and play Doom. Even at 19 those things and the cheap pizza would wreck me the next day. I swear the gummys were impossible to digest and just slid out in close to the same consistency as when I consumed them. I think I finally learned to avoid them after a few sessions, but that memory still lingers.
bhillen83: That sounds like a blast!
johnysmoke: Starts with a blast, ends with a splash!
| 7 | 31.571429 | |
1663354479 | 1663415852 | t3_xfzpgp | t5_2to41 | 3,115 | Turbulent_Jury_9104: TIFU by taking down my schools security system down
I am currently in my geometry class typing this story after being in the office all lunch
I (15 M) saw a peice of paper taped on what I thought was a security camera and being 6'3 decided I would help out my janitor by jumping and grabbing it for him for reference the sticker is 10 feet in the air
After not getting it the first day I decided I would do it once every day during passing period and my entire class who has to go down the same hallway would cheer me on to get it.
Well today for some reason I was really hyped up and I fully sprinted and got the piece of paper in between my index finger and thumb and I took the "camera" down with it.
Well after I got it off the ceiling I put it down to go tell my favorite (shout-out big Sean) security guard because I was definitely seen and a snitch took the camera.
After me and the guard got the camera from the snitch and walked to the office I find out that the camera is a motion sensor that is close to $1000 to repair.
But what I also found out is that the security system is like Christmas lights meaning that one goes down in a building ALL GO DOWN IN THE BUILDING. But let me say my school is separated in 5 huge buildings and the performing arts is the biggest (the one I accidentally took down) while in the office my counselor asked if I was OK and I told her "No when I get home either my mom is killing me or I'm killing myself" and then I realized I shouldn't make those jokes to the person who has the power to give me manual counseling and I jokingly said "wait redact that statement."
After all is said and done my vice principal said "that I was funny while telling the story" and that I don't have to be suspended .
TL;DR taking down schools security system and got close to 1000 dollar fine. And men be going into counseling
SwimSufficient8901: That is not how security systems work.
Turbulent_Jury_9104: That is exactly how they explained it to me I am just repeating it
SwimSufficient8901: I'm not disputing you, but if they try to make you pay $1000 for it, they are scamming you.
Turbulent_Jury_9104: I understand that you aren't being mean or anything but we probably aren't educated enough to say sum like
SwimSufficient8901: I'm a technician, I install systems like this for a living. Make them show you an actual invoice from the company, or get stuffed.
Turbulent_Jury_9104: Ok
stevedaher: He’s right.. cameras are not daisy chained. One camera down is just one camera down. If you caused damage to where the camera was fixed to, then maybe the cost of one camera and repairs to plaster etc, might be $1000.
terrorpaw: You can definitely daisy chain them, and that could mean a lot of cameras are (temporarily) down but that's just because they're now unplugged. It will not be a $1000 fix.
stevedaher: Been in the industry 20 years and never seen cameras or PIRs daisy chained.
rogue_noob: He said they can be daisy chained, not that is was common (or even smart) to do so. I fully believe that you wouldn't have seen it ever simply for the fact that it is an incredibly stupid way to build a security system.
stevedaher: I’m even trying to work out how you could daisy chain them. They have to report status individually, so unless there’s some kind OSDP style system to identify the individual location not sure how it would work.
rogue_noob: Maybe they only know "there's a problem in building X" and nothing more precise than that? Wouldn't be smart, but that doesn't seem to stop them. But they are probably lying about it and it's only one down.
| 13 | 239.615385 | |
1663358112 | 1663427898 | t3_xg180u | t5_2to41 | 1,171 | Mobile-Guess-9541: TIFU by accidentally throwing away my phone.
Obligatory: this actually happened yesterday.
I (16F) was having lunch yesterday at my table and somehow the topic of my bookbag came in the conversation. As I removed and flaunted about all the stuff I carried around school, I noticed there was some dirt in the bag, so of course, I went to the trashcan did a little shake of the bag while carrying it upside down. While doing so, I heard a little thump in the trash can, so I did a quick glance, didn't think I saw anything unusual and I carried on with my day.
Now, it's about an hour since lunch ended and I'm walking home from school. I remembered that I should probably remind my mom that I have work today, and instinctively, I went to retrieve my phone from my bag. To elaborate, my bag has a pouch that's almost like a pocket of which I place my phone and other miscellaneous items in there. So when I'm trying to reach for it, I realize my phone isn't there. I check inside the bag. No luck. Maybe it's stuck in between one of my folders. No luck.
At this moment, I'm starting to panic and racing back to the school to look for my phone. During this, all the possible situations fly through my head. At first, I thought someone stole it, then thinking about a bit longer, it didn't make much sense. Then I thought that I might've left it on the cafeteria floor and that was precisely the moment it hit me. The trash can, the upside down book bag, and the thump.
Now I'm panicking even more. When I get back to the school, I explain my predicament and of course, it seems like no one would help me. Most likely all the trash bags were already taken from the cafeteria and put out into the dumpster where they cannot allow students to search due to it being a safety hazard. Later, when my mom came along with me to see if anything could be done. One of the VPs explain that the custodians could try to look for it and I could check back tomorrow, but it sounds like school lingo for "Yeah, you ain't never getting that phone back."
Now my mom's mad at me for being the careless person I am. I lost a way of communication between my parents and friends. I lost all the things that I kept on there including my work schedule. I cannot sign into my email because of Google's two-step verification that is mainly accessed on my phone. And now I'm a dejected mess who's really trying to smile and make a joke out of it all, but I can't.
TLDR: Accidentally threw away my phone and it's now in a dumpster which I can't even search since it's a safety hazard.
**UPDATE**: Today is Saturday, which would mark about two days since that infamous day. My mother and I decided to go to the school's dumpster with some gloves and a mask to search through the trash, making about halfway through the dumpster before ultimately giving up. We tried calling my phone multiple times, but we weren't able to hear a thing which I think was really the thing that we stopped our search so early.
And no, we didn't dumpster dive. It was about 9 to 10 am and I overestimated how many people would be present. (Turns out people have practice and games on Saturdays-wow, what a revelation.) I don't think I even have the guts to go dumpster dive either way.
So, we simply bought a new phone, just about two weeks short of my now old phone's one year anniversary. I just have to pay the money back later. Also, to my surprise, I was able to retrieve everything from my old phone, which was honestly my biggest concern.
In the end, thank you all for the advice and the hilarious anecdotes that really made me feel better about myself. Even with all the toxicity that exists on this site, it's because of you guys that make this all worth it!
nykdel: Did someone try dialing the cell phone's number to see if a ringing noise comes from the dumpster? At least then you'd know if it was really in there or not.
Mobile-Guess-9541: We didn't really try since I told the faculty my phone was on Do Not Disturb mode, so it would practically be useless sadly since I was trying to be a good student.
gskul: Find my phone overrides do not disturb
angelerulastiel: Also it does provide fairly accurate location service usually. In my house I can tell the difference between the garage, main part, and back part.
jpkd_9: How often do you lose your phone?
angelerulastiel: Inside my house? Sometimes. My kids lose theirs in house on an almost daily basis.
| 7 | 167.285714 | |
1663359503 | 1663375578 | t3_xg1sxm | t5_2to41 | 480 | Prestigious-Lab-5311: TIFU by telling a friend that I fell in love with that I couldn't be friends with them anymore
I (M19) told a really close friend of mine (F19) that I couldn't go on being friends with her since I let myself fall in love with her. I've always had a small crush on her since freshman year of high school but in the past 6 months I really fell hard (harder than I think I've ever fallen). I've really thought this out and think that this is the best decision to make for my overall mental health but some part of me thinks that what I've done is actually fuck up a good situation. Her and I have always been pretty good friends since we met and I feel like a bit of an a\*\*hole for basically telling her I wouldn't interact with her anymore since I didn't feel that our friendship would ever turn into a romantic relationship. I also feel like I've taken the toxic route by giving her the ultimatum that we can either be romantic partners and give that a shot or be nothing. part of me would rather be nowhere with her still as my friend than anywhere without her. All of my friends that don't really know her think that I've done a really brave thing by pouring my heart out and risking everything I have with her but the emotional pain that I feel is telling me otherwise. She told me that she needs time to think about all this but that wait is killing me and I just want to text her and take back everything I said. It's been really hard not talking to her at all bc everything I see on social media reminds me of her and I want to send her things that I know will make her smile. What makes all of this much worse is that she actually had a massive crush on me at the same time that I was starting to have feelings for her and I chose to do nothing at the time because I had just stopped doing stuff with one of her friends and I didn't want our relationship to end up being a rebound situation for me since at the time she was much more into me than I was into her. I don't exactly know for sure if this is a fuck up yet (although it sure feels like one) but I am in immense emotional turmoil and I'm kind of looking for a little bit of advice on how I could maybe go about dealing with this mentally. Who knows maybe this could turn into one of those happy endings that I never seem to get.
TL;DR: I told a really close friend that I was falling in love with her and now I think I fucked up one of the best friendships I've ever had because I was selfish in telling her in the first place. I'm feeling really emotionally damaged and could use some sort of reassurance (I know that isn't exactly what this subreddit is for but it is the internet so please have some mercy on me)
willowgardener: The ultimatum is the big fuck up. That's perilously close to pressuring her into a relationship. If she starts fucking you out of fear of losing you, she's not going to enjoy it, which will kill any relationship you have. If you find yourself in a similar situation in the future, you don't need to make "forever"-oriented statements. If she's not into you, you just need a few months to reset your expectations. If you tell a woman "hey, I have feelings for you, but I really care about our friendship and I feel like my expectations are fucking up our friendship. I need some space for a few months so I can reset and treat you with the respect and friendship you deserve", she'll likely feel really good about herself and you because you're willing to make a sacrifice to preserve your friendship and respect her autonomy.
Alexexy: "Perilously close"
Im pretty sure it's plain perilous lol.
Its hard for me to have sympathy for this dude since it seems like he tried manipulating the girl into a relationship and pretended to be her friend the whole time. Fuck that noise. If he really cared or if they were really friends, he would think more about how it would make someone he cares about feel instead of resorting to blackmail then trying to karma farm on reddit.
Squidvalley69: This is not blackmail. This is setting boundaries. His boundary is that he has feelings for her and doesn’t think he can just be friends. He acted in a completely healthy way by being honest with her and himself.
Alexexy: Think about how he comes across and realize that.OP is probably not the most reliable narrator in his own story.
He started off being friends with her and was friends with her for 3-4 years. The way this dude acts is not how I expect ANY of my friends to act towards me. The dude was treating his friend like a romantic time bomb. If sexual attraction or the idea of having sex with someone is the only thing the relationship hinges on, its not a friendship.
Squidvalley69: It’s one thing to have a crush on her like he mentioned and another to “fall harder than he thinks he’s ever fallen.” If it’s gotten to the point that he’s this into her, I think he absolutely acted in BOTH of their best interests by making his feelings clear.
He made it pretty apparent in his post that his feelings for her are so strong that it’s too difficult to spend time with her just as friends. Would it really be better to just keep staying friends with her in the hopes that she’ll start feeling the same way?
I absolutely understand where you’re coming from, I just think feelings are messy and not always black and white, and sometimes when emotions are involved you absolutely have to act in your own self interest and try to do what’s best/emotionally healthy for yourself.
Alexexy: I'm willing to concede that he probably wasn't honest with himself and with her, thinking that she would either come around eventually.
The lack of honestly is where all of this stems from. He led her on thinking that they were friends and then put the friendship on the line because he couldn't put up with his own self deception.
Squidvalley69: Wow I’m sorry but what a pessimistic view of this person. You can’t control if you have a crush on someone, and he obviously TRIED to be just friends until, according to him, it was damaging his mental health to try to pretend that his feelings hadn’t grown.
You are the one encouraging him to be “self deceptive” by remaining in a friendship that is damaging to his mental health.
Alexexy: You can't control who you have a crush on, but if you are honest, you can tell them early on and see where it goes from there. He didn't do it for whatever reason and was friends for her for 3-4 years while having those feelings fester.
Feelings aren't a choice, but being honest is.
So now the guy has known the chick for 3-4 years at this point and he found literally nothing else about her that would encourage him to stay friends with her aside from the lingering possibility of them one day being romantic. Like all this time spent with a person and the entire relationship hinges on romantic feelings.
He was NEVER friends with this woman, didn't think about her as anything more than a goal, and managed to hurt himself in the process.
Like I understand where you're coming from because I been in situations like the OP. The thing is, we always try to make ourselves out to be the heroes or the victims even when we hurt people we supposedly care about.
Squidvalley69: I can’t take your comments seriously because you’re literally putting words/intentions in his mouth and ignoring what he’s saying in his post, and instead assuming the worst and playing armchair psychologist, assigning the worst intentions to his actions even if they contradict his words.
Alexexy: It's called reading between the lines and I'm more surprised that u don't think that a 19 year old is capable of lying to himself and to an online audience trying to garner some sympathy.
Squidvalley69: No you’re just being an unhelpful asshole.
| 12 | 40 | |
1663360333 | 1663365218 | t3_xg2569 | t5_2to41 | 26 | Green-Future-9084: TIFU: I said a horrible word that I never meant to say
[removed]
zlam_: I know it’s easier said than done but please don’t beat yourself up for this. You were not slurring somebody whatsoever and were just quoting them. Your friend also reassured you that it’s okay and they aren’t mad at you.
Anyone who gives you shit about this is just looking to bully and be mean. I’m not sure what grade you’re in but kids in high school/ middle school just fucking suck 90% of the time. And I promise you this will blow over way sooner than you think. If you need anything you can message me!
Green-Future-9084: Oh my god thank you so much and thank you for offering your time
zlam_: Absolutely! I truly mean it (:
Green-Future-9084: Still this means a lot to me it’s been a white when someone other then my parent has offered this much kindness to me
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1663363151 | 1663488317 | t3_xg3b0t | t5_2to41 | 32,009 | throwaway_stinkystar: TIFU by buying my boyfriend spicy toothpaste
A few weeks ago, I (29F) was browsing IG and came across an ad for spicy toothpaste. My boyfriend (28M) is a fiend for anything spicy, so I decided to buy him a couple of tubes. For context, he does stuff like the one-chip challenge (which I still don’t understand because everyone dies attempting that challenge, my BF included). Fast forward to yesterday and my boyfriend and I decide to go out with a few friends for drinks. We spend a couple of hours bar hopping then decide to head home.
Once home, things start to heat up but before getting too dirty we paused to clean up. I hop in the shower and he brushes his teeth. Now, my BF likes to go down on me, front and back, if you know what I mean. This night he decided to tongue punch the back door. While he was going to town, I felt some heat back there but didn’t think much of it. Next thing you know he’s sliding his hot dog in my hot dog bun, at which point the mild heat turned into extreme heat. Unbeknownst to me, my boyfriend enjoyed the spicy toothpaste I got him a few weeks ago and was using it on a regular basis. I guess what happened is the tongue punching left some deposits of ghost pepper flakes around my stinky star and his hot dog sliding in and out rubbed it in causing a pretty intense burning sensation.
This is where the fuck up happens, I was drunk so I thought it’d be a good idea to put an ice cube up my butt to cool things down. I go to the freezer, grab an ice cube and slide it up there and wouldn’t you know it, it gets stuck. Although it’s ice and would melt in no-time, I start to panic, my boyfriend comes to see what’s going on, takes a close look at my butt and bursts out laughing. I start to crack up too and as a result, the ice shoots out of my ass hitting him in the eye. We both fall on the floor laughing our brains out. His eye is a little sore today, and for those who are wondering, my bunghole has recovered.
TLDR; bf ate my booty after brushing his teeth with spicy toothpaste, burning my asshole. I proceeded to put ice up there which shot out and hit him in the eye.
tubaman23: I chose the wrong day to wear my eyes
Hey_Peter: Just wait - let me get some ice…
blahblahrasputan: Spicy ice.
TwahtSwatter: Spice?
PB_Bandit: **THE SPICE MUST FLOW.**
mongoose51Z: LONG LIVE THE FIGHTERS
Eneshi: HE WHO CONTROLS THE SPICE CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE
KataiiCmdr: HE WHO CONTROLS THE PUMPKIN SPICE CONTROLS THE WHITE GIRLS
Eneshi: WHERE THE WHITE WOMEN AT?!
MasterConnors: Thank you, Blazing Saddles.
| 11 | 2,909.909091 | |
1663361052 | 1663470294 | t3_xg2fza | t5_2to41 | 805 | Crazy-Dog-Society: TIFUpdate by telling my best friend “i love you”
Og post: [TIFU by telling my best friend “I love you”](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xf6ysv/tifu_by_telling_my_best_friend_i_love_you/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Ok so I didn’t think I would make an update and it would be this soon but after 5 days of silence he finally messaged me this morning. The message said “Hey, are you free today?”. I was literally gonna fall of the bed as soon as I saw it. I responded with “Yeah” “Why you asking?”. He said that we needed to talk and my HEART DROPPED. A second after that my phone started ringing. It was him… I was staring at my phone for about 6 seconds and then picked up. The conversation went quite normally which kinda scared me…
Around 3 hours later I role up to his place. At first it was awkward silence then we sat down and he apologized for leaving me on seen for 5 days and that he was just processing some stuff. He then asked if I remember something from Saturday night. I lied and said “No” and he repeated the whole night. Turns out that I don’t remember it exactly…
When he was helping me up my apartment there were 3 other people and one of his friends asked “what” not him… Turns out that this is now an ongoing joke in between those friends. I started crying and apologizing over and over again. He hugged me and asked if I really meant what I said or was it just some shit that I blurted out for no reason. After I calmed down I realized that its now or never. And I told him everything, my feelings, what I remembered, how long etc. The whole time I was shaking and sobbing.
Well….to my biggest shock he said he knew…. He said that he had known for a while since I have been acting more clingy and strange than usual. He also said that he never stopped loving me ever since he confessed when I was 16 and he just tried to forget me by dating other girls and doing shit like drugs and alcohol(he’s been sober since 2017) but he was never able to so he just stopped with all that and gave up and that’s also the reason he hasn’t been dating anyone since 2018.
We hugged each other and stayed like that for about 10 minutes-me crying him smiling. We ate, watched a movie and I spent the night at his place. Fist time we slept in the same bed since we were 10. Ig now I have a boyfriend…?
The TL;DR
He messaged me, I went to his place he told me how the night actually went and that there were 3 other people when I said that. I confessed and he confessed. Now I have a boyfriend who Ik won’t trash my apartment ;)
Edit:I knew from the beginning that I was gonna make typos. Was it bc of fast typing or I just didn’t know how to spell the word doesn’t really matter that much. Pls don’t correct me I know I have mistakes. English isn’t my first language.
Edit: I don’t think that this is important but he knows that I become more clingy and behave differently whenever I like someone and he has noticed that in the past… Talk about knowing your now girlfriend well 😂
amaberc27: He confessed when you were 16 and he was 19….
Crazy-Dog-Society: Yes? And….??
Infamous-Magician505: he means pdfile
Crazy-Dog-Society: How is a 19 year old a pedophile…. I mean I understand if I was 12 but…It’s only 3 years…
Infamous-Magician505: Hey i just made clear what he said. I'm truly happy for you OP, don't forget to update us when you get married.
Crazy-Dog-Society: I’m sorry if this response came as if it was directly at you. I was just clarifying that it isn’t really logical for him to be a pedophile as even now he is acting like a 12 year old boy 😅. Again I apologize and I didn’t mean to offend you.
“Don’t forget to update us when you get married” I truly hope that happens and I will definitely update 😂😂❤️
Infamous-Magician505: Good good, just curious, it's totally ok if you don't wanna answer, Where are you from ( country/ continent).
Crazy-Dog-Society: Europe and I’m from the Balkans(Slavic) but I currently live the US since I study vet medicine here. If your interested my boyfriend lives here too and he is in law school.
Infamous-Magician505: absolutely amazing, enjoy and don't forget ups and downs are a part of life
| 10 | 80.5 | |
1663365560 | 1664210966 | t3_xg4a5q | t5_2to41 | 315 | TA_NumTwoPencil: TIFU but a math joke saved my butt
So, I'm sitting on the toilet...
Back up, I guess lets set the scene first. The past few days I've been feeling a bit bloated, but its not *that* strange around this time of month so I brushed it off as just a normal thing. It didn't occur to me that I'd recently switched medications, and didn't bother to read the potential side effects. I was now on two different medications that can bar me from visiting the white throne. It hadn't been an issue before, so I didn't even worry about it. This is not how side effects work. Sitting at my desk, I'm finding myself getting more and more uncomfortable and eventually I end up leaving and going home, fighting the mounting pressure in my guts.
I get home, go right into the bathroom, sit down and.... nothing happens. Then, ever so slowly, I feel this crowning achievement opening me up from the inside. I'm hunched over, heaving against this monster that is just not moving. At this point my legs are going numb and my ass is damn near bleeding. I grab some toilet paper and do a bit of exploratory damage probing. This thing is hard as clay and twice as big as its designated exit. A hesitant wipe tells me that there is no way I can get this thing out of me. But its too late to stop, you cant put the toothpaste back in the tube as they say.
At this point I'm panicking a little bit. I feel like I'm 2 inches dilated and my evening has just started. My ass is so stuffed you'd think I'm trying to cheat at chess. But then, amidst the panic and confusion, an old math joke came to mind:
"What did the maths teacher do when she got constipated? She worked it out with a pencil"
Oh no. No no no. There is no way this is happening. But taking stock of my options, I don't know what else to do. There is no way I'm going to be able to fight this battle on my own. So with great shame, I waddled out of the bathroom and rummaged through my bag until I found my weapon of choice.
Proper positioning and tactics are the key to winning any fight, and the toilet has been an unproductive battleground so far, so I knew I had to change strategies. I opted for the shower, with the water turned on full blast. Carefully, I bent over and took a cautious stab with the pencil. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this one shits you not when she says that it was like trying to drive a tent stake into rocky soil.
But at this point, I am committed to this fight. I know what happens if I lose. So onward I went, digging out more gravel than a Minecraft streamer. All my trepidation was gone, all my embarrassment and guilt. There comes a point where you cant afford to feel fear, you have to act. And I was there
I dug. And I dug. Until there was nothing left to dig. And then, when I was done, I turned the shower to max heat and I scrubbed myself down multiple times. I got out of the shower. I cried. And then I came on here and told all of you.
Because it was funny as fuck.
TLDR: New medication made me severely constipated. Like a good maths student, I worked it out with a pencil.
bay879: ±1 for "cheat at chess" topical reference
ShawnStrike: please elaborate what that means
bay879: [https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2022/09/15/chess-anal-beads-magnus-carlsen-hans-niemann/](https://www.pinknews.co.uk/2022/09/15/chess-anal-beads-magnus-carlsen-hans-niemann/)
| 4 | 78.75 | |
1663342129 | 1663556674 | t3_xfue6x | t5_2to41 | 479 | CapsuleCorp87: TIFU: By using a condom with numbing lubricant
This literally happened about 30 minutes ago.
So I've been seeing this girl for a few weeks after getting out of a decades long relationship. It's been very casual, nothing sexual until today. We've hung out a few times, gone for drinks, she's slept over but we didn't have sex because I'm not super in a rush. When it happens, it happens.
Well it happened. **Then it didn't.**
So we start getting hot and heavy, foreplay galore, we're both super into it when I hear the magic word: "Condom?" I reach over and retrieve one from the night stand and gear up for battle. Now, before I proceed any further, disclaimer, I did not purchase these condoms. They were given to me by a life long friend after my recent break up and I made damn sure they hadn't expired, but didn't examine them much further than that at the time. I probably should have.
We start doing the do, everything is great, and then all of a sudden, the unthinkable happens, the flag is starting to go half mast. What the fuck? This isn't right. We're both very into it and I'm absolutely not nervous, but now I'm starting to panic a little which obviously is not helping. So she senses that the winds have stopped blowing and suggests we both get a drink of water since we just woke up anyway. Cool. Makes sense. Hydration before fornication. So we both drink the water and she tells me "Okay well take that thing off and I'll make sure we get this back on track." So I whip off the protection and she proceeds to perform certain sexual acts involving her mouth. So she's trying her best but it feels kinda... lacklustre in sensation. Which is odd, because I (and pretty much everyone) are a big fan of this act, but still, the flag shall not be raised. So internally I'm now screaming at myself to rally the damn troops and raise that flag like it's fuckin' Iwo Jima.
And then all of a sudden she stops and says "My mouth is numb." So I reply "Numb? What do you mean numb?" and she says "Like I've been at the dentist. I can't feel my gums or my tongue." At this moment, I am now perplexed. What the hell is happening and why is there bad voodoo emanating from my dick? But then she says "What kind of condom was that?" I stop, I think about it, and realize I'm not entirely sure besides the brand and the expiration date. So I grab another of the same brand from my nightstand and lo and behold, they are "*extended pleasure*" condoms. For those out of the loop, that means I basically just slathered my unit in novacaine.
Now we are both in our mid 30s, and in no way need this kind of sexual aid to hold our own, so to speak. At this point we both lose it laughing because what the hell else do you do in this situation. My equipment is currently still under anaesthesia, her mouth still feels like she's waiting to get a tooth pulled, and neither of us can take the current situation seriously anymore. So we pack it up, she heads off to work and I start brewing coffee before my shift because there's nothing else to be done. I sent those condoms straight to hell, and I hope they burn there.
**TL;DR: Went to sleep with a girl for the first time, unknowingly used a numbing condom, lost my erection and numbed her mouth. We both had a good laugh, at least.**
S_A_R_K: If things work out you'll have a great story for the kids
CapsuleCorp87: Actually she already has 2 kids and can't have anymore. And "So this one time your step-dad's dick didn't work." Doesn't make a great thesis statement.
DaStevers: Bruh other than STD why the hell you need a condom in the first place if she can’t have anymore?!
somethingquirky-01: Not all contraception is 100%. Better to be safe, plus the STD thing is really important.
DaStevers: “Can’t have anymore”
Pretty much just STD
| 6 | 79.833333 | |
1663368145 | 1663412678 | t3_xg5bfi | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: TIFU - Breaking the ice with external auditor
[removed]
AcrobaticSource3: > wear all protective gear
They meant condoms
buttered_cat: "if the auditors coming, better double rubber"
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1663373518 | 1663439690 | t3_xg7c9j | t5_2to41 | 78 | Sv3t_92: TIFU by saying No to my crush
I (F15) fucked up by saying No to my crush (F16)
We both go to the same school have the same exact schedule and the same friend groups
A few weeks after we first met I developed feelings for her quite quickly
fast forward 2 months later I confessed my feelings to her
And it went great!
At first she thought i was trying to prank her or making a really mean joke
But after a while she said she liked me back and we started talking nonstop ever since then
I was too shy to talk to her in person at school
except a few times I would smile at her or hand her a gift i got for her
So here’s where i fuck up..
We were talking earlier today and she asked me to go out together for the first time
up until this point we haven’t hung out alone together
And as much as I would love to do so
I’m a very shy person i wouldn’t know how to act around her
Plus she was already telling our friends that we were together and I felt like this was going too fast
So the second she asked me to go out I immediately said “No thank you”
And you can tell that completely caught her off guard
I tried my best explaining that we have never been together alone in the same room for over 5 minutes so that seemed a bit rushed for me and I would like to wait more
Even tho she tried to hide it i could tell she was upset at my reaction
She tried playing it off saying “it’s okay never mind”
I felt awful for saying no but was also relieved she understood
I tried talking to her a few times after that but she keeps either ignoring me or giving me short answers
I understand that she’s a bit insecure and maybe me saying no to her made her think i was actually just playing with her
But I noticed a few hours ago that she unfollowed and removed me from all of her socials
So I’m guessing she took that very personally
I feel like an absolute dick for saying no and ruining this for myself
I wish I would’ve just said Yes
TL;DR
So basically i said No to my crush after she invited me to hang out and she got upest and broke things off with me and honestly i deserved it
Useful_Experience423: Okay, if you are actually ready to date this girl then send her a short text apologising and letting her know that you let your shyness get the better of you, but that you regret it and would like to take her out one-on-one. Maybe you could try a movie or activity (mini golf? IDK, think of something *she* would like to do) where you have something to focus on and talk about, instead of putting all the pressure on yourself.
If you can’t handle that then text her that you’re sorry and thought you were ready to start overcoming your shyness, but unfortunately you were wrong and need more time before you’re ready to date anyone.
Either way it’s honest. That’s what’s needed to fix this, because she is bound to be feeling foolish for letting you (in her mind) lead her on for so long when you either can’t or won’t hang out with her as gf / gf.
Sv3t_92: That’s such good advice thank you!! I will text her now and let her know how i feel i hope it goes well :)
Useful_Experience423: Good luck, OP! I really hope it goes well for you 🍀😊
If you feel like it, it’d be great to have an update in a few days. If it goes well, I’ll throw you a virtual congratulations party with cake and champagne. If it doesn’t, I’ll throw you a virtual commiseration party with cake and champagne 😉
Sv3t_92: Lol that sounds great either way!! I sure will update you on what happens💗
Useful_Experience423: Looking forward to it! 💛
| 6 | 13 | |
1663378251 | 1663379001 | t3_xg90qi | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU Talks Ep 64! Let’s play a game and share stories! 🎲(Also, JC is married! 🥰)
[deleted]
PheonixGalaxy: Y’all like hot pockets?
DisasterSimple349: Bro got me the Philly cheese steak kind and it was worth every inch of that burning lava.
PheonixGalaxy: Pepperoni and mozzarella for me
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1663387608 | 1663423505 | t3_xgc56s | t5_2to41 | 122 | fearandloathingomc: TIFU: By telling my grandma my books releasing
Ok so upfront i swear to god this isnt self promo. To be safe im not even going to mention the name so mods please dont ban me.
Anyways 2 days ago my grandma called my dad who told her I have big news. She then immediately calls me and asks what it is. I being the moron I am and being distracted with playing total war warhammer 2 didnt think and just said the thing that happened on monday which was that my book got a release date. Grandma gets excited and says she wants a copy and all that. Ofc i find out later the big news my dad was referring to was the less big news of i got a 1$/hr raise at my day job.
My grandma is great and i love her very much but heres the thing, she is 1) very sensitive and 2) a massive gossip. She finds out things and everyone from california to ireland will know as well within the day. Just to put a cherry on top of this i don't want anyone in my family to know i am publishing a book let alone read it.
Sure some of it is the classic author curse of I cant stand my own writing and kinda am deeply ashamed of my own work for whatever reason. However the big reason here is the book features parental abuse and rape and honestly the parental abuse aspect of it is very transparently based on a dramatized version dad before he got help. He still has anger issues dont get me wrong and as a matter of fact he literally threatened to kill me the day before this happened over an argument over a tv show we watched together in an attempt to rebuild our relationship but hes gotten better and like i said were trying to rebuild.
My second issue here is also that if you read between the lines and know me pretty well you can kinda easily put together what this is based off of and put one and two together and realize i was raped by my first girlfriend when i was a teenager. I know this because 2 beta readers who are close friends pieced it together and asked very gently about it.
Truth be told it isnt a secret. I finally admitted it happened 5 years ago now to some really close friends and a girlfriend and a lot of people had suspicions apparently. I also wouldnt really be able to write about it if it wasn't. I also dont have an issue with random people knowing it happened if they can figure it out just because i feel its worth someone coming out and saying "yes this happened to me" so others who have lived through it know they arnt alone.
However i never talked about it with my family nor do i want them to know. Its going to sound weird but i have intentionally kept my family very distant from my life. They dont meet my friends, my girlfriends, or anyone and they dont get any news of what im doing. The single exception to this is my grandma who gets to meet my best friend and if i ever get into a serious relationship shell meet my partner.
Yet because im a room temp iq dingbat i have now tripped over myself and basically put myself into a situation where i have to give a book that spells this out somewhat plainly to my grandma who will subsequently run her mouth to the whole family and ruin my relationship with my family or break her heart by not giving her a copy. I have spent the past day and a half trying to think of some way out of this but honestly cant.
P.S. advice on fixing this would be nice and also please dont judge this post as quality of my actual writing. Its midnight, im exhausted, and on my scuffed phone. Im not exactly trying my best to write very goodly :)
TLDR: I wasnt paying attention when talking to my grandma and let it slip i have a book coming. Said book talks about things that will put a strain on my family and put me in a awkward spot. Said grandma wants a copy and will most likely talk about the book and therefore share it with family spreading said strain
Charlisti: Can't you find some tame book that's mostly unknown and just say it's written under another name? And congratulations with your book and the raise:)
fearandloathingomc: The issue with that would be the release date and that most books have a picture of the author in the about section
Charlisti: Dang didn't think of that :/
| 4 | 30.5 | |
1663413590 | 1663806274 | t3_xgjuyq | t5_2to41 | 1,471 | PitchuHachuArt: TIFU by taking the recycling out
Trigger warning: blood, injury, throwing up.
So, mandatory this happened last Wednesday night.
Me and my partner are not good at basic adult stuff like taking the recycling out every week. This week, after looking at the many bags, we decided we had to take all of it out and start adulting better.
Feeling motivated, I decided I would start while he was finishing preparing dinner.
We live on the second floor of an apartment building. I took two bags and headed out. Once you exit the building you have to go down a final set of stairs before reaching the sidewalk. That's when this crazy story started.
I'm clumsy, so I just fell down these stairs and landed on one of the two recycling bags.
First thing, I hear glass breaking in the bag.
Second thing, I feel something wet on my wrist.
I look down, and I am pouring blood out of what seem to be a very deep cut on my wrist. I immediately think, oh no, I cut my artery. I will die. If I stay here, I will die.
The adrenaline kicks it. I run up the stairs, enter the building, run up the second set of stairs. All the while, blood is flooding everywhere. I kick the door of our appartment open and I yell "PARTNER CALL 911" over and over again.
Understandably, the partner runs toward me very confused. Sees the blood on me, on the walls around me, on the floor, sees that I am holding my wrist very tight. Freaks out and starts calling 911.
I have never been in such a state of panic. I will die, I say out loud that I don't want to die.
We sit on the floor while he is talking with the 911 person. I don't remember what they were talking about. At some point, partner has to stop to throw up. He is not scared of blood but he told me afterward that he was truly terrified that I was going to die, and that that amount of blood was something he hadn't seen before in his life.
I start fainting. I can't keep my eyes open. I feel nauseous. I hear partner telling me to open my eyes and answer him, but I can't move, open my eyes or open my mouth.
Suddenly I start throwing up and that wakes me up. It's around that time that 4 giant firemen arrive and start taking care of me.
It seemed like I missed the artery but my wrist was still really fucked up so I had to go to the hospital to get stitches.
The rest of the story isn't as interesting, we spent 12 hours waiting to see a doctor and we came back home exhausted and traumatized. I have the most disgusting cut and stitches on my wrist and I will have a cool scar to remind me of my failure to take some recycling bags outside.
And I won't be allowed to help with that task anymore. So... Yay?
TL;DR I took the recycling bags out, fell on one of them that had glass in it outside, and proceeded to deeply cut my wrist, bleed everywhere, convince myself and my partner I was going to die, made both of us throw up, spend 12 hours in the ER, and now I am not allowed to take the recycling bags out every again.
atrast_vala: this is something that would absolutely happen to me. im so accident prone people tend to take knives from me
Fancy_Introduction60: My daughter has banned from using box cutters because I'm an accident looked for a place to happen!
My funniest accident, got tangled in my sisters dogs leash. Fell over sideways, still tangled in the dog leash.. I've fallen and I can't get up came to mind. This was at a family Bbq 2 years ago and I still have the scare on my ankle from the leash. I was really sorry rhat nobody filmed on their phone!
At 71, I fall even more than I did when I was younger. But, I've always been clumsy!
atrast_vala: wow, im 37 and ive had several concussions, have several scars from dumb injuries. i wonder if i'll even ***make it*** to 71
Fancy_Introduction60: I'm living proof that you will lol.
Only 1 concussion, cracked ribs, torn ligaments, cut ligaments, cut myself with a bunch of different things. I even had part of a chimney fall on me! Mind you, I was tearing it down from inside when it happened. Yup, so many dumb injuries!
My mom took me to the ER so many times, as a kid, I think they knew my name.
atrast_vala: haha wild! i've also cracked my ribs falling into a sink while very tired and hungover. i forgot all about that! i couldn't cough, sneeze or really even move for over a month
Fancy_Introduction60: Cracked mine when I got pneumonia (sp?) and cough so hard ribs cracked!
I've never fallen into a sink, but I have fallen into holes a lot!
atrast_vala: my god i hope i never cough to hard i crack ribs. you seem like a damn tank!
Fancy_Introduction60: I kind of am a bit of a tank! But a small one. I'm 5' 2" and was about 140 lbs when I cracked the ribs. Since they don't do much with cracked ribs, I just had to grin and bear it. But hey, I've been in labour so pain was a lot easier.
I have some lung damage because my dad was an anti vaxxer, before it was a "thing". Had whooping cough, along with several other things kids got vaxxed for back in the 50's and 60's.
atrast_vala: hot damn the more you say the more of a tank you show yourself to be! i had all my shots as a baby, had cancer about 8 years ago but thankfully im ok now :D
Fancy_Introduction60: That's me, Mrs Tank lol. I was using power tools at 6. Had to cut wood for our furnace. Used a band saw to cut up scraps to feed to the furnace. Never got cut on it though.
You beat the big C, that's great. My dad decided he didn't want chemo for colon cancer. Weird thing is, it wasn't what did him in.
atrast_vala: power tools scare me! i did help my dad chuck logs into our basement as a young child though, so there's that haha. :P
thankfully mine was caught in time! it was ovarian, and i ended up having a hysterectomy, but it beats being dead.
im sorry to hear about your dad! :(
Fancy_Introduction60: I love love love using power tools! I have my own..
Wow, ovarian cancer is one of the worst to find. Yup, having a hysterectomy sure does beat being dead!
My dad died almost 20 years ago! What did him in was congestive heart failure. He was diabetic and a heavy drinker. It caused dementia and a host of other medical issues.
I was actually more heart broken when my dog died a few years ago, than a was with my dads death. He was "gone" for at least a year before he died. He had a few moments when he knew what was going on, but most of the time, he was in some weird fantasy world. He actually insisted that he'd just returned from visiting my sister in San Francisco (we live in Canada), but he hadn't visited her for over 10 years!
atrast_vala: wait wait wait.
alcohol can cause **dementia?!** i love to drink and my grandma passed due to dementia...😳.she was also "gone" about a year or so before she died. dementia is one of my biggest fears. its the saddest, most depressing decline a person can go through. she wasnt a heavy drinker though, she used to like to have 2-3 beer in the evenings after supper and her and her husband would watch the news and then the evening game shows with a couple beer. i used to be a heavy drinker but my stomach and heart dont quite like it these days, so i have to be more careful and end up drinking less. as my nan used to say "getting older's no fun!"
Fancy_Introduction60: If you're diabetic, yes! It's the worst! But dementia can also be a factor in alchoholics.
My husbands grandmother died on her 100th birthday. She was as sharp as a tack until about 2 weeks before she died, when she slipped into a coma. She had 2 glasses of sherry, every evening for at least 50 years! So, clearly, a bit of drinking isn't going to cause dementia unless there are other factors.
My mil had alzheimers, she kept losing herself day by day. It was horrible. Both her brothers had it. I want by husband to get the dna testing to check for it, but it's a hard no.
He's pretty sharp at 71 and does all of the cooking, a skill he already had, but now it's a lot more complicated! He cooks for 6 of us. It's one of the things that can delay the onset of dimentia..well, clearly I can't spell lol..
We share a big house with son, dil and grandaughters. He does the kid sitting when my son and dil are working. She's a midwife, so is on call half the time and babies seem to want to arrive, in the dead of night. She often comes home at 8 am and needs a good long sleep.
He also cleans the house, does almost all of the yard work and does most of the grocery shopping. He never slows down! I'm a total sloth lol.
atrast_vala: wow he seems super spry and definitely doesnt seem to have dementia anyways! my nan kept an immaculate house untill she didnt. she kept clutter around that she never ever would have and would leave things out that she never would, she;d keep seasonal decorations out past the season, and stuff like that. it was heartbreaking.
im kind of a sloth too, but i only have a 2 bedroom apartment to keep tidy and that isn't really hard at all. i do spend waaaaay too much time on computers though haha. have been since 1990 :D
Fancy_Introduction60: He has more energy than people half his age! We don't walk together because I can't keep up. He's always been like that!
He does all the cooking and cleans up from it. I keep telling him to just leave the mess for son and dil to clean up, since it's their kitchen he cooks in. Dil keeps telling him the same thing. He always tells me, "if I don't do it know, I'll just have to do it in the morning". He reminds me of the typical jewish/italian/greek/polish grandmother.
I tend to be a bit of a hoarder, had a really hard time getting rid if stuff when we downsized. Our old house had all sorts if odd little places to stash things. The new build has about half the space for us while son dil and grandaughters have lots of space. We have plenty of space if I was better at getting rid of stuff.
atrast_vala: hahahaha he seems like an interesting fella! usually people dont like to walk with me because im super super slow. people need to be slow walkers like me or have patience to walk slow with me! usually i tell the fast walkers to go ahead of me and ill catch up. im used to trailing behind others haha.
"if i dont do it now. ill have to do it in the morning" is EXACTLY what i say to get myself to do dishes and cleaning TODAY rather than tomorrow. i CANNOT leave dishes in the sink overnight, i go crazy. usually if i leave dishes in the sink others worry a bit because it tends to mean im not feeling well.
i hoard stuff too! you never know when you might need something! be careful though, it can get out of hand easily.
Fancy_Introduction60: He is pretty interesting, and he has a great sense of humour.
As to hoarding, seems everytime I get rid of something, a week later I need it! My husband got rid of so much stuff when we downsized, now he's regretting some of the tools he got rid of. Discovered he needs a lot more of them then he thought we would need!
atrast_vala: yes, you never know what you may need! i cant tell you how many single shoe or sock i throw away, thinking the other is lost, only to find the other missing one later!
Fancy_Introduction60: Yup, dryers eat socks lol! I've never misplaced a shoe though. I don't have many pairs, so it would be pretty hard to misplace one. The only time my shoes go missing, is when one of my grandaughters "borrow" a pair to go outside. That's going to stop soon, at 11 and 8 they already take larger shoes than I do.
atrast_vala: i had a LOVELY pair of sandals my mom got me, and when i packed them away for the winter, one got misplaced in our storage room somehow and by the time the next summer came around, i couldn't find that other one! it stuck around for a couple summers though. i kept thinking the other sandal would be found somewhere and it never was-until i threw it away! then i found the other one. saddest thing is, i haven't been able to find a pair of sandals that i've liked as much since! :( r.i.p sandals
oh at that age kids go through clothes SO FAST! i didnt think kids grew up fast until i got to see my brothers grow up! im 11 years older than them. perfect age to start babysitting! haha :)
Fancy_Introduction60: My oldest grandson is already 5' 5", his dad is 6' 2" so we know he's going to be tall. He just outgrew another pair of runners last week. The oldest grandaughter is maybe an inch shorter than me.. today.. in a few days, who knows, she'll probably be taller than me lol. I just migh start stealing her shoes, she has at least 20 pairs! Her sister has even more! She gets the hand me down shoes and she LOVES shoes..
atrast_vala: if they take your shoes and wreck em, take theirs (but dont wreck em, kids wreck stuff). 6'2 is so tall! i'm 5'4, i couldn;t imagine being so tall!
Fancy_Introduction60: They actually take good care of my shoes. But I "steal" their shoes and they don't even notice lol.
I'm 5' 2" and have nephews that are 6' 4" and 6' 3". Imagine how short I feel when I stand between them! My husband is the shortest of 6 boys, he's 5' 10". All the rest are 6' 1" and up!!
atrast_vala: wow i would feel like a dwarf at even my height! my brothers are short- 5'5- and they had to be on grownth hormones as pre teens and teens. they hated it but it really helped, otherwise they'd be your height still
Fancy_Introduction60: My nephews are also cops! When they're in full gear, they are HUGE! Ran into one at a local festival several years ago, you know BC (before covid). He was patrolling and stopped to chat. It's so weird, because I remember him as a toddler!!
atrast_vala: haha wow, cops! i wouldnt want to mess with those guys! thankfully im not a troublemaker and lead a pretty simple life with my husband and my two cats
i know that feeling i remember my little brothers being toddlers and theyre 26 years old now! kids just grow up too fast
Fancy_Introduction60: They're both great cops! I might be a bit biased, but they both work really hard. I'm a trouble maker myself, but not in anything illegal..
One has been working a cold case, kind of off the side if his desk so to speak. Teenager killed in a drive by shooting, was in the car with parents. Target was a local gang guy. Family were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Nephew updates the parents every time he gets a new lead. I don't think he's giving up on this one.
Both have received several community awards for the work they do.
atrast_vala: thats awesome for them! so many cops seem to be corrupt in some way, im glad there are at least a few good eggs in there, the police force as a whole dearly needs it.
Fancy_Introduction60: We seem to have some pretty upstanding cops on our Police force. But, like any police force, there's always going to be some bad apples.
atrast_vala: yes! unfortunately its always the bad apples that stink the most, get the most attention and ruin it for all the others! it seems the tides of change are turning within the police force for the better though. :)
Fancy_Introduction60: Sure hope so!
| 33 | 44.575758 | |
1663431471 | 1663453955 | t3_xgqopq | t5_2to41 | 20,749 | oxygenerationloss: TIFU by hospitalising my 9 y/o brother
Typing this out from the waiting room; I feel so guilty and my mum won't even look me in the eye.
Today, My (17M) brother (9M) wanted to play on my Xbox in my room, which I (reluctantly) said yes to, but since we moved in last week, my room (which is small anyway) is still mostly full of boxes so there really isnt much room to move at all.
He was sitting on the floor playing Minecraft and I was sat on my bed doing a Superman puzzle when my mum called me into the kitchen to help her reach something. This is when I fucked up.
So, as I said, there isn't much space in my room, especially at the end of my bed where the tv is right next to my door, and as I tried to squeeze past to leave to go to my mum in the kitchen, I accidentally bumped into the tv stand and the worst thing possible happened - the TV fell onto my brother.
He started screaming and everything up until now was one big blur. My mum came running in, shouting, asking what happened, and calling for my dad, while I just stood there, watching it all happen from outside my room. It was like I was frozen. My mum screamed at my dad to phone an ambulance, but I couldn't see my brother, so I took a step forward and saw that his head was bleeding and at this point I was really panicking. My dad told me to go downstairs and let anyone who knocks on the door inside, so I did. I waited by the door, and a few minutes later, Paramedics knocked on the door, so I let them in.
My mum went in the ambulance with him, while my dad and I followed in a car. We got there about 15 minutes after my mum did and I heard her tell my dad that my brother will be okay, but she still refuses to speak to me, even after I asked her what's going on with my brother, and I haven't heard anything from a doctor yet and its been about half an hour now.
Sorry if this is difficult to read, I just feel so guilty and anxious for hurting my brother.
TL;DR: My brother was playing games in my room and I accidentally dropped a TV on his head, putting him in hospital.
UPDATE 1: My dad and I are home now, my brother's going to be fine, but possibly staying overnight at hospital just to be safe and my mum's going to stay with him. My dad has told me my mum's not angry, she was just scared for my brother and I've spoken to her on the phone, it's all good. I've tidied up my room and moved the TV so it's safe now and I bought some snacks for him when he gets back. Thanks everyone for the kind words, I will update when he's home again!
UPDATE 2: He's home!! My brother is going to be absolutely fine! I gave him some of the snacks and loads of hugs, he's doing great. :)
Here are some details I've seen people ask about in the comments: Yes, the TV still works (miraculously) as it landed on carpet. The TV was just a small flat-screen (I don't know the right terminology for it but it's really tiny as I dont have the space for a bigger one). The reason my brother's head was bleeding was because the plastic in the corner of the TV is what hit his head, which i think scraped his head, leaving a (small) cut. Seeing blood (even a small amount) made everyone panic, which is why he went to hospital and my mum gave me the silent treatment. It was scary.
impairedblur: i understand your moms frustration but this is not the way to handle the situation. guilt tripping a kid that you clearly see didnt donit on purpose is lowkey evil. thats how trauma is burned even deeper. talk to your dad if he is more understanding.
Slurms_McKensei: This, op. No harm was done really (i work in an ER, heads bleed VERY easily and in large volumes), but your mom seems intent on spreading some.
MrLRG: I don't think intent is a fair way to phrase that. OPs mother is panicking and is processing something shocking. It's almost certainly an emotional response, not something manipulative. "Intent" comes off as the mom acting with malice, which I don't think is really representative of what is most likely the case.
Edit: phrasing
Sugarbean29: But she shouldn't let her emotional reactions control her, especially when its resulting in ignoring her other son who also is also experiencing emotional turmoil and *isn't* the adult in the relationship.
Calfer: If humans all had perfect emotional control, the world would be a much different place.
If mom is in shock/processing/worrying then she has a right to do that. It sounds like dad is a little more able to parse his emotional response. It's how mom acts once she's processed that determines whether she's being reasonable or not. If she acknowledges her fear and has a mature conversation with her near-adult child, then I'd say she's doing fine. If she shuts down and starts blaming OP for what happened, then that's absolutely not okay and I'd advise OP talk to his dad about getting mom talking to a therapist.
Not everyone can shake off the initial reaction right away - especially when that response is based in fear.
Sugarbean29: I'm not saying she doesn't have a right to feel what she's feeling. Her feelings are valid, just as everyone's are.
But she chose to be a mother.
And she's choosing now to harm her son by ignoring him and his trauma. By allowing her fear and emotions to control her, *for well over 45 minutes* even **after finding out** younger son will be fine. The moment she had no more reason to feel fear, she should have responded to older son's questions and assured him everything would be fine.
It was over 45 minutes since the event happened. Mom should be able to control her emotions by then.
Calfer: Seriously? She may have been worried about a brain bleed, or something equally serious that could have resulted in her kid's death. I would be shocked if she processed that in less than an hour. Some people can compartmentalize first and process later, others can't.
I was a camp counselor and one of my campers experienced a seizure and fell down a set of stairs. I shut down because I was so worried about her, and was scolded by another counselor because of it. I couldn't compartmentalize so I spent time doing things away from the other campers for a while until I could normalize my response. I chose to be a counselor, but I wasn't pre-prepped for that kind of an event; no one is.
Being a mother doesn't overridde the fact she's a human first. In fact, it's the reason I'm arguing compassion for her. The thought of losing a child is terrifying, and I can empathize with that even as someone who is childfree.
Sugarbean29: I empathize for her. But not more than I empathize for her son.
I agree that not everyone can be prepped for certain events. But that doesn't excuse he ignoring him after finding out younger son will be fine.
Why would she still be worried about possible complications if the doctor didn't tell her there was cause for it?
The moral of my comments is this: feelings are valid, but they don't justify actions when those actions hurt others.
She's hurting OP by ignoring him. She is literally the parent here and should be able to control herself at least enough to not ignore him. Her actions, regardless of the feelings behind them, are causing him additional hurt.
The other counselor was right to scold you (I won't say to the extent, cuz I wasn't there). You chose to be placed in a position where you were responsible for the lives of others, and failed to act because of your feelings. I'm very sorry that happened to you, I really am, but you at least had the wherewithal to acknowledge you needed time alone to process, and not inflict any additional hurt to anyone else.
Mom doesn't seem to be doing that, which is the problem.
I think people often forget that you can say that what someone is doing is wrong, for scientifically factual reasons, without saying that the person is a bad person.
I'm not saying she's a bad mom. She is a bad adult/parent in this situation, but I only have this situation to go off of. In this one situation that were being told about, mom is not doing a good job of being a mom to her older son *now that the immediate health and safety of her younger son have been stabilized and confirmed fine*. Her feelings don't justify that. They are a factor that we can acknowledge and understand, but they don't make her actions *OKAY.*
Calfer: To be honest, I don't think you have the perspective required to understand the position I'm presenting.
I hope you have a lovely weekend, but I don't feel we'll come to any agreement on this topic. Maybe we'll be more aligned in the next comment thread we find each other in. I appreciate the clarity with which you've presented your view, but cannot agree with your assessment on how quickly she should be recovering.
Sugarbean29: I respectfully disagree that I don't have the perspective. I do understand the position you're presenting, I just disagree with the level of responsibility expected from the parents (I should've said this in my previous comment, but dad should also be stepping in to console older son, especially if mom isn't able to - she's not the only one appearing to fail OP here).
Thank you, I hope your weekend goes well also.
I also hope you've been able to heal from that event as a counselor.
KonaArabica: This was the first constructive conversation I’ve ever seen on reddit with two mature individuals that knew when to stop discussing and we have people downvoting god I love the internet
| 12 | 1,729.083333 | |
1663443296 | 1663446360 | t3_xgvhh6 | t5_2to41 | 16 | WhyShouldITellUAll: TIFU by crying on a date
[removed]
SleuthRevolt: You're fine! You should take responsibility for your own emotional state by getting into therapy. It is totally understandable to me to cry with relief when you've found someone who could be your person, I wept when I told my now wife that I loved her and wanted to date her, but you have to show her you're not expecting her to carry you emotionally because that's a major problem in het relationships.
Icy_Engine_7648: Therapy
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1663464939 | 1663467308 | t3_xh3lpt | t5_2to41 | 62 | JC1812: TIFU Talks Ep 64! Let’s share some stories and have fun!
Kyokuza: I fucked up by getting excited that me and my partner are having a boy, not a girl. She was adamant it was a girl and I was a little too excited while watching our child on the monitor .. did a in your face kind of thing cos I wanted a boy 🤣
UpstairsHeavy513: 🤦🏼♀️🤣💀
Well, congratulations on your son, though!🤣
Kyokuza: Thankyou !
I bought her and her mom some tickets to go to Spain as an apology 😉🤣
UpstairsHeavy513: Yeah, no…. I’d say that, that MORE than makes up for it! And good on you for being a good (unofficial) son or daughter in law!
Kyokuza: Getting married in two months ! So will be very official come the due date haha
UpstairsHeavy513: Omg CONGRATULATIONS! Is baby boy here yet?
Kyokuza: He is due around February/March next year. Assuming there aren’t any complications!
UpstairsHeavy513: Well let’s hope for the very best!
I will warn you, a baby absolutely changes a relationship… but if my husband and I got through it before our son was born- you absolutely can too! We got married when he was 4. It was actually so amazing to be able to have our own son IN our wedding.
But seriously, a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS on your wedding AND your sweet baby boy!🥰🤗
And on life totally going your way right now! You have many, many happy years ahead!!!
| 9 | 6.888889 | |
1663466232 | 1663532165 | t3_xh41di | t5_2to41 | 223 | idrinkriesling: TIFU by almost burning my apartment down.
I (25 M) was making a croquembouche AKA cream puff tower for a friend’s potluck. We live in the same apartment building, so I was to bring my dessert downstairs. I had a longer day than I normally do during the week; after 7:30 AM lecture, I went to play tennis for a couple of hours, club meeting at noon, and trained a friend at my gym at 2:00. I didn’t really get to start working on my croquembouche until around 5:00.
By this time, I am rushing quite a bit. Eventually at 9:30, I finished gluing all the cream puffs together with hot caramel into a tower and proceeded to move downstairs to the potluck. I was greeted amicably and in amazement from all my friends and hanged out for a bit. I get a frantic call from my roommate saying where the fuck am I and if I forgot something on the stove. Shit. I rushed upstairs and there it was- my pot of sugar turned into a fossil and apartment in post-smoke apocalypse. I felt so bad that I spent six hours today to clean it, but it still has a lot of burnt gunk on it, so I decided to buy him a new one. He was definitely mad initially, but he seems understanding. I was so tired from the day’s event that I completely forgot to simply turn off the stove. I’m still beating myself up over this, but I’m glad I’m the end no one was hurt and that I replaced his pot.
TL;DR: Forgot to turn off stove and pot of sugar burned and almost burned apt down.
Leo-Percepied: Yeah this is a big fuck up. The cost of a pot is irrelevant. I've seen the results of kitchen fires from leaving a stove unattended and it's not pretty. You're lucky your roommate was there. Pay more attention; next time you might not be so lucky.
NEVER LEAVE A STOVE UNATTENDED WHILE COOKING. It's the leading cause of kitchen fires according to the USFA. Always double-check you've turned it off. Add cleaning the pan to your routine of you can't remember to turn it off. Thank you. Hopefully lesson learned.
Swift747: I've accidentally left the stove on over night once. I guess the UK has better stoves
beesandsids: If you didn't have anything on top of it or near enough to it to catch fire then it will just get extra hot but it could also cause an electrical fire from being switched on for too long.
Djsimba25: No that's not how stoves or electrical fires work. People cook things on stoves for really long periods of times. Like simmering chili all day.
beesandsids: I mean sure, but any appliance left on for too long can cause an electrical fire in the wrong circumstances. It's not really about the stove itself, it's the wiring of the house that is usually the problem. A friend of mine lost their house to a fire that started because of this exact reason, which is why I brought it up. You're right that the stove itself probably wouldn't catch fire all on its own.
| 6 | 37.166667 | |
1663482126 | 1663526649 | t3_xh90me | t5_2to41 | 17,328 | [deleted]: TIFU By Taking A 3 Day Vacation... Only To Be Dumped By My Fiancee
[deleted]
excessCeramic: If you’re at month 10 and you can’t handle staying at your own house, this is the correct conclusion of that relationship.
OlduvaiMan: What are you talking about? I'm a father and routinely *fly hours away to get some sleep*. OP is an absolute clown, and clearly the AH in this situation.
Also, who complains about getting sleep because of a cat? I've got two kids (oldest raised since 2 but not my biological child), including one permanently disabled, and a cat and I sleep fine whilst working a ton from home.
OP, if you're reading this, you're an absolute dick and have no excuse for your behavior. You signed up to be a father to these kids and then showed them almost immediately that you'll bail on them at the first chance so you can focus on yourself.
EDIT: Clearly upset the Reddit incel hive-mind that thinks it's reasonable to get into a relationship with a single mom and then *fly away* to get some sleep. You people are freaking ridiculous and Reddit deserves the hate it gets.
EDIT 2: Shocking, OP posts this same thing with more background about how they are an asshole in another sub, and then deletes it when people there shit on him and you all are white-knighting this absolute loser.
Lightor36: You sound like the most toxic boomer that everyone thinks of when they call someone a boomer.
Your logic ignores all nuance and is a weak attempt to justify how you live your life.
OlduvaiMan: Not a boomer.
Tell me where it's acceptable for someone to get into a relationship with a single mother, that they acknowledge in a separate post is going through a tough time mentally, to take a flight to their parent's house to sleep for 3 days because they can't handle children.
I'd love to see the mental gymnastics required to make that make sense, and I'm guessing you aren't a parent in this type of relationship.
Fukled: Oh no 3 whole days? That's like almost forever!
OlduvaiMan: So, *flying to your parent's house to get some sleep at 36 years old and voluntarily in a relationship with a single mother* makes sense to you? You're as emotionally stunted as OP then.
Fukled: My wife was a single mother when I met her. We've both taken our own solo vacations many times over the 13 years we've been together.
OlduvaiMan: Read their other post about when he took this trip and the reasons behind it before you get on OP's side.
Fukled: Seems to me they're probably both not good for each other and this is the best possible outcome. I'm just not willing to put it all on the dude like you are.
OlduvaiMan: The fault for him is that he entered the relationship *knowing* that she had kids and then got engaged. You can't make a commitment like that to an entire family and then bounce randomly when you're sleepy, that's why he's at fault.
If you aren't ready for that life, then don't date a single mom.
drallafi: Actually he can, and he did.
OlduvaiMan: Cool, then I guess we should support him for being mid-30s and acting like a complete tool. This site is moronic.
drallafi: Agreed. Taking care of one's needs is indeed cool. Glad you finally came around.
OlduvaiMan: I'm assuming you read his other post with more info that he now has deleted because everyone on another sub piled on him? Then he made this post to make himself feel better, and you are jumping right on the bandwagon for an absolute prick.
drallafi: Why assume anything?
Ask me if i read his other posts.
OlduvaiMan: Why ask given your weird defense? You either did, and have an absurdly MGTOW-like take or you didn't and are defending him without knowledge.
drallafi: *"Why ask when i can assume?"*
Lol. Yeah, that tracks.
OlduvaiMan: "I form strong opinons without any backing and am proud of it"
Lol, Yeah, that tracks.
drallafi: What do you mean "Without any backing?"
Did you not read his original post? (See what I did there?)
OlduvaiMan: You're digging your own grave with this asinine comment. Thanks for proving my point though.
drallafi: So... wait.
It's not clear from your response.
Did you not read his original post?
OlduvaiMan: Shockingly I did, so at least one of us can read.
Good luck in High School.
drallafi: Nice!
So would you consider your opinion to have been formed "without any backing"?
OlduvaiMan: You've given me plenty backing for my opinion on you, so thanks!
drallafi: Right on. We're almost there.
So tell me what is the difference between you forming an opinion based on Reddit posts, and me forming an opinion based on Reddit posts (this should be good).
| 26 | 666.461538 | |
1663487348 | 1663697949 | t3_xhahpf | t5_2to41 | 631 | [deleted]: TIFU. getting to personal with a online friend
[deleted]
redditdiarrhoea: Tell your gf op. Loads of people feel this way and it's upto her whether to accept it or not but u owe her this, and if u use the right words it won't go awry
lightryuk123: Problem is I don't know how too tbh
HoAdanac: Beware that she may break up with you if you do. If you don't think you are fully trans, and thus no other lifestyle is acceptable, you may want to keep quiet about this. You could very well not fit in to her sexual/relationship preference if you are trans.
TruSiris: And and so good fucking riddance.
Dazzling_Log_4770: Good riddance. Thats very understanding of you.
TruSiris: Me? My point is that you should 100 percent be transparent with these types of things with your partner because otherwise you are lying to them about something that may be a deal breaker for them. If your sexuality is a deal breaker for your partner then they are not worthy of being your partner and good riddance to them. Plus there are plenty of other people out there that will love all of you and not just the butchered persona you present for their approval.
| 7 | 90.142857 | |
1663513487 | 1663526150 | t3_xhj17u | t5_2to41 | 15 | Ka1_Dev: TIFU by standing in the way
[removed]
poormanw0rds: Somebody gonna get a hurt
Ka1_Dev: It's illegal to hit your child here.
poormanw0rds: Dont think its legal anywhere..
Ka1_Dev: America it is you just got to have a valid reason.
Infamous-Magician505: Why did you stand there though ?
Ka1_Dev: Well he went down there before and I was standing there and he was fine, but I do have suspicion it was a rock that was in the way not me. It was only when my family was watching.
Infamous-Magician505: take your punishment and give him a good massage as a sorry i guess, that's what i did 😅
poormanw0rds: Hsppy ending?
Infamous-Magician505: Yeah, she's my gf afterall
| 10 | 1.5 | |
1663523413 | 1663530863 | t3_xhn7qj | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by seriously injuring my little brother
[removed]
Ok-Sea3403: Is he ok now? Any longterm damage ?
[deleted]: Thankfully he’s completely fine. All that happened was that he lost I think it was 3 teeth a bit earlier than he should have. I’m so thankful for that though
Ok-Sea3403: Ok, yeah if nothing is permanent then it’ll just be something everyone laughs at in like 10 years. Except you. You’ll probably cringe.
I shot my brother in the back with a BB gun point blank when I was like 7 and no one ever brings it up now but I got in big trouble when it happened and I think the bb is still in his back.
Siblings just kinda hurt each other, it happens. You obviously didn’t mean to and he’s ok now :)
Yeschefheardchef: Once let my buddy shoot me in the leg with a bb gun but instead of a bb we jammed a cut in half Q-tip down the barrel (to this day I couldn't tell you why). Homeboy pumped that shit up as much as he could and practically pressed the barrel to my calf. I still have a scar from where the plastic end of the Q-tip was sticking a quarter inch into my flesh.
Ok-Sea3403: This is why women live longer
| 6 | 3.166667 | |
1663589498 | 1672327544 | t3_xhvguq | t5_2to41 | 5 | uuuuuuuuuuggh: I'm calling you names because I'm bored and you've fallen for the exact dumbass lies so-called "MRAs" want you to believe.
I 100% believe all women. Until a rape allegation is PROVEN false. Because I know how first hand how dangerous men can be :)
InternationalBunch22: Then you do not know how the legal system works in the slightest. There’s this little thing called, innocent before proven guilty. So sad how people forget one of the most simplest things these days and are so quick to condemn somebody. Since I’ve been on the other end of it I see the reality, you’re just sitting on the sidelines tryna tell me the rules of the game.
csvxkrmp: leave her alone bro, you both make good points (maybe more you than her) but she sounds like she’s been through it with a guy so she will have preconceptions that will most likely not change till she’s matured more.
uuuuuuuuuuggh: I'm in my thirties babe 😘 my opinions come from years of experience
csvxkrmp: I never asked how old you are, I said when you’ve matured more. And my point has now been proven to a much higher degree so thank you.
uuuuuuuuuuggh: Damn, that's me *got*. I'll never come back from that insult. Might as well just die. Rip.
csvxkrmp: You take EVERYTHING as an insult. How much more bitter and insecure could you be?
uuuuuuuuuuggh: That was sarcasm, you dumbass.
csvxkrmp: it’s the fact that you saw it as an insult, not the rest of you comment :)
uuuuuuuuuuggh: I didn't see it as an insult. I'm winding you up because I'm bored at work and apparently it's working.
csvxkrmp: you say that but the facts are that u wrote out a whole story to vent but now ur getting called out ur getting annoyed. plus, you took a smiley face as a sign of being wound up which is realllllly reaching loll
uuuuuuuuuuggh: Coming back to carry on an argument three months later? That's definitely a sign of being wound up lmao
csvxkrmp: called not being an avid reddit user as yourself. too many weirdos which you aren’t exactly but ur definitely mad lol
| 13 | 0.384615 | |
1663550653 | 1663568165 | t3_xhy0dj | t5_2to41 | 818 | LavishnessNormal8420: TIFU by selling the wrong product
[removed]
AngrySchnitzels89: Hang on. Manager did the job but didn’t pick up on the difference in LT commercial tyres vs civilian tyres? How can they fire you when he was equally responsible?
I’d just offer to put them on marketplace, for the boss.. They’ll get some money back, if you don’t happen to be able to offload them at a discounted price to your next suitable customer.
Maybe try to think of any regular mechanics that send their customer cars to you for similar tyres? Ring them, let ‘‘em know you have some in stock if they need ‘em.
Mistakes happen. Hubby’s a mech and if your boss is ok he should understand.
CatchSufficient: The manager will blame the lesser, it happens all the time. Sure he is partially responsible, but higher ups don't really care about that.
triggerismydawg: Eh, I made a huge mistake years ago (missed a trial date). The client (a very large insurance company) told my boss they wanted me fired. Boss said no and told me “ look, I appreciate effort. It was a mistake, let’s move on.”
CatchSufficient: Well he is a keeper, but I know of a few people who is more concerned with their prestige and are willing to throw their people down to keep their integrity.
quatity_control: Yeah, so the few people that you know of doesn't justify labelling all managers crap.
CatchSufficient: I didn't label "all managers" crap, I'm saying we live in reality and here just enough managers are crap to form a pattern of weariness when dealing with upper managment.
Grow up
quatity_control: Your personal experience isn't really a qualified opinion.
Learn up
| 8 | 102.25 | |
1663561551 | 1663565225 | t3_xi1rh2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Longjumping-Royal-12: TIFU by telling my bf I’m into certain content.
[removed]
pow3rdiap3r: I mean what did he pick? Was it all women identical to you?
Longjumping-Royal-12: no i have small boobs and we picked people with big boobs
pow3rdiap3r: And are you offended?
Longjumping-Royal-12: no but the problem is that i’m bisexual so i didn’t care you know
pow3rdiap3r: I cant see why that matters.. Seems he might just be insecure because he's not the only type you're interested in.
| 6 | 1.333333 | |
1663551578 | 1663610299 | t3_xhycat | t5_2to41 | 2,608 | GoodbyeBlues: TIFU by accidentally convincing my wife that I'm a blimp aficionado
So yeah this just happened. All because I saw a post on the front page that mentioned there were only ~25 blimps in the world.
I genuinely don't even know how the conversation went because I was just mindlessly scrolling and hanging out with my wife, but somewhere between showing her the post and mentioning that the blimp was one of only 25 still in existence in the world, she became convinced that I knew that fact off hand. Around this time, her bullshit senses started tingling, but for the wrong reasons. She thought I was messing with her (which I admittedly do a fair bit of, in good fun of course) so she looked it up and confirmed that there are only ~25 blimps in existence. And hey, I already mentioned how I enjoy messing around with her, so who am I to let this golden goose slip me by? So yeah, I hammed that shit up to see how far I could take it. Made it seem like a totally normal thing -- like yeah, I just really fucking dig blimps dude, idk how it hasn't come up before.
She grilled me a bit more, asking for one more fact about blimps. She totally almost had me here, but fortunately I had skimmed through some comments just before showing her the picture. I told her the difference between blimps, zeppelins, and hot air balloons. And for good measure, I brought up the difference between zeppelins and blimps. Then I ranked my favorite aircraft (fuck helicopters).
Anyway, she seemed really, really happy to discover something new about me after knowing each other for so long. I think I may have to learn to love blimps in order to not let her down.
I've spent the rest of the night researching blimp and other various airship facts in order to keep this thing going. Turns out, blimps are actually pretty cool.
TL;DR: I showed my wife a picture of a blimp and she became convinced that I've been hiding my interest in blimps from her for years.
grafknives: There are only 25 blimps, so how many blimp aficionados can be there? 40, 50?
You are in quite the elite club :D
HmmWhatNameToPick: You're underestimating the coolness of dirigibles, and airships in general, based on rarity. Classic mistake.
DocPeacock: What qualifies as a dirigible? Is it anything that diriges?
HmmWhatNameToPick: Anything powered and steerable, including blimps and rigid or semi rigid airships.
DocPeacock: Why aren't they called rigidibles
HmmWhatNameToPick: Well now that's an interesting point. Turns out blimps have no rigid or semi rigid structure. All gas. Original Goodyear, that was a blimp. Farmer's Insurance and current Goodyear blimps aren't actually blimps.
roundbadge2: Goodyear "blimps" are semi-rigid airships built by Goodyear engineers and techs in conjunction with ZLT Zeppelin Luftschifftechnik.
Source: \*ahem\* [goodyearblimp.com](https://www.goodyearblimp.com/)
HmmWhatNameToPick: Yeah. That was in 2014. I mentioned the current ones weren't actually blimps.
[https://www.cleveland.com/metro/2014/03/embargoed\_ship.html](https://www.cleveland.com/metro/2014/03/embargoed_ship.html)
roundbadge2: I missed where you said 'original'. I think you were editing while I was writing. Anywho, all good. I'm about 10 miles from where N2A is currently flying right now.
My \*ahem\* was just making fun of my own statement that they weren't blimps, then referring to that particular website.
| 10 | 260.8 | |
1663586417 | 1663638197 | t3_xi964w | t5_2to41 | 15,824 | Far-Word-4088: TIFU by opening up my relationship
[removed]
SusanMcDangles: Holy fuck what a struggle to read
nononanana: I thought they said they could have sex with their friend but their friend couldn’t have sex with them. It made it sound like they were having some weird one sided sex. Like only one person is allowed to thrust. I spent way too much time trying to comprehend that sentence.
Staaaaation: >I could have sex with protection my friend couldn't have sex with me at all.
The TLDR is crystal clear, but this sentence still makes absolutely no sense to me. If you got over the hump, care to break it down for me?
Edit: as /u/johnwickenergy suggested, OP must've left out an "OR" after "protection". Either that or OP worded "their partner said fuck no" in the strangest way possible.
Edit 2: For everyone having a "revelation" that these are gay couples, in what world are both people not "fucking each other" when gay people fuck?
Jean_Cray: I think it means the rules that Op and their SO came up with state OP can have sex with people using protection. The rule OP's friend and friend's SO came up with state that friend can not have sex with the OP. Hope this doesn't add to the confusion. It is the way I made sense of it.
Edit: change her to friend
Staaaaation: That could be. Doesn't that result with nobody having sex though?
Dr-Nefarius: Exactly. That's why you need the third friend to jump on the bed while the other two lay there inside one another...
LadyBug_0570: I laughed out loud at this visual.
raelik777: It's even funnier because it's a real thing. Look up "soaking" and "jump-humping".
LadyBug_0570: WTF????? 😲
This a thing people do?
raelik777: Mormon teens apparently, as a 'loophole' to get around chastity beliefs. They seem to think that if there's no intentional 'thrusting' beyond the initial penetration, that it isn't really sex. If a third party happens to be causing them to thrust because they're jumping on the bed, then they aren't breaking any rules!
LadyBug_0570: 😑
I... I don't even know what to say about that.
raelik777: Welcome to the club! All you can do is laugh.
LadyBug_0570: But like... what's the thinking even before the third person starts jumping? She tripped and fell on his already hard dick?
raelik777: Who knows, the leaps of logic required to come to that conclusion boggle the mind.
LadyBug_0570: Well it seems there are some communities where "I was walking without panties on then slipped, tripped and landed on his dick" is an acceptable excuse for cheating.
raelik777: LOL that sounds too much like the "I slipped in the shower and it just went up there!" excuse that guys have used for years going to the ER with some large phallic object stuck in their ass!
LadyBug_0570: 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Lots of clumsy people in the world, I guess.
I'm clumsy too, but somehow never landed on a man's dick. Especially without panties.
raelik777: I'm willing to bet if you did, you wouldn't have a friend handy to jump hump ya either!!
| 19 | 832.842105 | |
1663603389 | 1663606188 | t3_xigilc | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a gun joke in my swimming team groupchat
[deleted]
fruityc0wboy: Well, you’re American. People take that shit extremely seriously regardless of the intent. 100% should have known better.
GlobalMonke: I’d say since they’re an American, they have more right than most to both say they are *and* actually be practicing their second amendment
fruityc0wboy: I didn’t say it was right, but I’m American and have heard literally 100s of stories of this exact thing happening. How are you an American HS student and NOT know this was going to happen to you?
GlobalMonke: No, you’re right, but it’d also likely be even *more* illegal to be in possession of a weapon if it *wasn’t* America. But I suppose we live somewhere that access to weapons for children is so prevalent that the populace can’t even fathom that showing off a toy gun isn’t really equivalent to making threats of any kind
flintzeh4kingstar: Yeah, but I think we (people who live outside of America) would take it more as a joke than most Americans
GlobalMonke: Agreed, hence my “But I suppose we live somewhere that access to weapons for children is so prevalent that the populace can’t even fathom that showing off a toy gun isn’t really equivalent to making threats of any kind”
| 7 | 4 | |
1663606647 | 1663616105 | t3_xii07g | t5_2to41 | 34 | yourdadisabean: Bean is Back! TIFU Talks! Come and share your stories!
Obvious_Marita26: The ADHD habit😂
Maleficent-Reach1917: I think so! I’m trying to get Diagnosed, trying to get help to focus!
Obvious_Marita26: Well at first I thought I had ADHD, I still think I do, but I'm not going to get myself checked lol, I'll just live with it until it ruins my life
Maleficent-Reach1917: I’m pretty sure mine is getting in the way of life with all the stories I can tell, and the reactions here haha
Obvious_Marita26: Wanna be friends?.. I'm 17btw..
Maleficent-Reach1917: I can be a Mentor
Obvious_Marita26: Works either way. 🤝🏽
| 8 | 4.25 | |
1663613253 | 1663649241 | t3_xikzeb | t5_2to41 | 3,348 | [deleted]: TIFU by going in my mums/moms wardrobe
[deleted]
grabityrises: >s3x toys (v1br@tor , d1ld0,etc).
i understand you are 14, but seriously, speak english
urmumleftfoot: I didn’t know if we were allowed to use words like on here I checked the rules after I wrote it but couldn’t be asked to change it
Falsus: M8, one of the most popular threads in the history of this sub is about a guy who fucked a rotten coconut.
Avium: And it's been immortalized as the downvote icon...
ElliotBlackblade: Really?
Avium: Which part? The [coconut story](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/) or the fact that the downvote icon in [old reddit TIFU](https://old.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xikzeb/tifu_by_going_in_my_mumsmoms_wardrobe/ip5k697/) is a coconut?
Either way: yes, really.
ElliotBlackblade: The app I use doesn't show the icon so guess I'll check later, but sadly I already know the coconut story
Avium: When reading stories like that one - and Swamps of Dagobah - I'm glad I'm an aphant.
And then the Vagina Bacon woman took pictures.
ElliotBlackblade: Should I be glad to haven't read that last one?
Avium: It's not so much of a read as a pictorial. A woman had a large chunk come out of her during her period...reddit convinced her to fry it.
It smelled like bacon.
reddit didn't quite manage to convince her to eat some.
| 11 | 304.363636 | |
1663625333 | 1663687560 | t3_xiqdh2 | t5_2to41 | 4,329 | Educational-Desk666: TIFU by working out for the wrong reasons (TW: BDD)
I (21M), had grown up rather skinny and had a love-hate relationship with working out due to Bigorexia; something not often talked about in the fitness community. I go to the gym everyday of the week and have for the past few months. I finally had motivation to continue working out when I realized I only want to go to improve my health and not to get bigger to satisfy others. I go to 2 gyms; gym 1 (private gym) if I want to be able to be loud and not disturb others, and gym 2 (public gym) if there’s equipment gym 1 does not have.
I work in the trades and have been trying for months to get in to this union, talking to many people to see what I can do to get in. Today, as I got to the gym 1, I receive an email telling me that I just I missed the intake and I will have to try again in January. This was the straw that broke the camels back, apparently. After struggling to find love, not be able to move out of the family home, and much more, this snapped me. I felt an anger, a fury, run through me, like my blood boiled, and immediately broke down. At every chance, it seems something is always holding me back.
When I worked out this time, it wasn’t out of the idea that I’m going to feel confident and love myself. For me, this was more like punishing myself. “If I lift heavier and get bigger, people will take me more seriously, and they won’t see me as some young boy, but a man. Maybe then employers, women and friends will truly want me and I won’t be worthless”. Obviously saying it now, the logic doesn’t track. In the mirrors, all I can see is a boy without an ounce of muscle. The only silver linings were I shattered PR’s and set new weights for sets, and that I’m lucky I didn’t get hurt in that pursuit.
I share this because it is often overlooked. BDD is not exclusively for people who are overweight or skinny people, hating their bodies and wanting to be skinnier. Young men and women are hit with male and female body expectations all the time in movies, ads, art, any kind of media, and can also take a different dark path to attain that shape, like pushing their body’s too far in the gym or taking gear (steroids). It may sound tone deaf or as not a big issue in some peoples eyes, but it’s also BDD, so it should not be invalidated, people. Please, if you know someone who works out, acknowledge their progress. You don’t know how much it means to them even if they come off nonchalant about it.
TL:DR - Got to the gym and received a rather bothersome message, in turn causing me to frenzy, and may be developing bigorexia again.
Edit: Thank you for the immense support everyone, truly. This post was more meant to raise awareness for a different form of BDD that isn’t after discussed or heard of often. I do have a therapist I talk with weekly about things. Mainly one thing, the only reason I ever go to the gym now is because I enjoy how it confident it makes me feel getting a good pump in! Only today did I have a bad day doing it and slip up to put it lightly, but that’s all it can take sometimes. I don’t throw labels on myself ever, this is just what I’ve been told by my therapist when discussing it with them from the past, and will be talking to them next time I see them. Again, thank you!
YoshimitsuRaidsAgain: I have bdd unfortunately. I’ve lost close to 200 lbs, but some days when a shirt doesn’t fit quite right, all I see/think about is my 370 lb self. It sucks, but it does keep me honest about training. Even days like today, where I’m nursing a sore shin from conditioning and I’m sick, all I can think about is how much this is setting me back.
I’m to the point now where I don’t even enjoy my time off.
Flokii-Ubjorn: TRIGGER WARNING FOR BDD.
I feel you. I had BDD in my youth because i was so skinny and by college i was ripped as shit, but I was always nursing some injury or other, and I was devoting most of my free time to the lift, pushups every hour just really overboard. Then after a bad breakup and ending my time in the Territorial Army I struggled with a few things and went to drinking and no exercise at all. I put on so much weight so quickly.
Fast forward to a few years ago I met the love of my life and we agreed I would lose weight, but I became so conscious of doing it well that I underdid everything, I got super healthy but kept the weight. A few weeks ago we broke up for various reasons I won't go into but bodyweight was a part of it and now I'm killing myself st work, after work, when I should be sleeping all over again and I know its wrong even writing this, and I really hope this is not a trigger to anyone else but now I'm seeing real progress, I've lost 9kg in a week so it becomes hard to listen to how I'm doing it wrong. Yes when inwas undergoing it I should have done more, but now I'm doing it overboard again and consequences be damned.
wasteabuse: Put your emphasis on a longer term goal like lose .25kg a week for 12 weeks then reassess. The duration is the goal. It's harder to stay vigilant but you don't need extremely fast weight loss and it's healthier and more sustainable to lose weight more gradually and forces you to step back a little and look at the overall picture.
Flokii-Ubjorn: I agree and I know you're right but that's what inwas doing and it wasn't enough. Sorry, no I just feel like it didn't I know over 2 years it was 2 and a bit stone and a healthy lifestyle and attitude, but everything else is crumbling and now I feel like a bystander. My body is in overdrive even though I know its not the right way.
EbonBehelit: >I agree and I know you're right but that's what inwas doing and it wasn't enough.
It wasn't enough for *your ex*, not for you.
Everyone has their own timeline for success, and trying to live by someone else's is going to cause you nothing but suffering -- *especially* with weight loss, which is something that mandates life-long changes and should not be rushed.
Flokii-Ubjorn: I really appreciate what you're saying, my weight is a symptom of a larger cycle of self destructive tendencies which is why it bothers me in the sense it wasn't enough. Like the list of not caring about myself was what got to my ex in the end, and only though her leaving have I fully realised it. She tried she really did, I didn't. That's why it wasn't enough for me. Still sound wisdom though so thanks. Hindsight is 20/20.
twiztedmindz33: From someone who is very self destructive with an addictive personality (I never can find a balance so I always overdo something i.e sex, food, gambling, drinking, drugs, risky behavior) and my traumatic brain injury makes it worse.
I've realized that it's my own self worth and esteem that is the underlying cause mostly. Due to toxic relationships in my past, emotional and verbal abuse, it changed how I felt about myself and what I thought I deserved. Idk if this will help but maybe start with your self worth, may help. Even if it doesn't, believing u deserve good things in life regardless of any faults u have (esp if willing to work on them) could really change your life .
Positive thinking and using positive words versus being negative about things and focusing on the negatives instead of positives also effect your mentality so just some thoughts to tell u what works for me and may help u. Good luck 👍
| 8 | 541.125 | |
1663617015 | 1663629450 | t3_ximobl | t5_2to41 | 208 | [deleted]: TIFU by returning a wrongly delivered package to the house instead of the post office...
[deleted]
murtygurty2661: Jesus where do you people live?
It's entirely normal anywhere I've lived to deliver mistakenly delivered mail to neighbours if they are close.
Usually you just ring the doorbell they answer and it's a little good deed for you to be happy about
djfudgebar: The problem with that is now the mail carrier doesn't know that they fucked up. If you just leave it in the box with the flag up they'll find it the next day, realise they made a mistake, fix it and hopefully be more careful in the future. This way is also less work for you. No need to write on it either, we hate that.
murtygurty2661: We just ring up our local post office and let them know the mistake if we get post delivered by a neighbour it's an easy fix.
Edit: we also don't do that whole "flag up/down thing" post goes one way and you have a key to open it.
djfudgebar: Ahhh. I take it you're not in the usa
AnnieJack: I’m in the USA. I’m also living in an apartment. No little flag on the mailbox. My mailbox has mail for me. I guess I could put a small package in there with a sticky note saying “outgoing mail”, but really I’m supposed to take misdirected packages to the post office, I think.
There’s a tiny mail slot for outgoing letters.
djfudgebar: Personally I would leave the package wherever they delivered it to and put a note in the outgoing mail saying it's there.
AnnieJack: Good idea. I’ll do that if it happens again.
| 8 | 26 | |
1663615925 | 1664201158 | t3_xim6vy | t5_2to41 | 87 | Rippper600: TIFU telling what I thought was a light joke, but Wife thought it was disrespectful & I probably embarrassed her.
This weekend we met up with some friends, some very old and some new. Little context first, my wife's friend, I have actually known since elementary school, but they only became friends in high school.
We played some games and had some drinks. All was going well when one of the newer friends asked if my wife learned, or heard about me from her friend since we had known each other for so long. That is when I thought it would be funny to blow hot air up everyone's butt and claim that "oh all the girls knew about me in high school." But in reality I only had one solid girlfriend before dating my wife and now we've been together for over a decade. I should have stopped there, while everyone rolled their eyes at me trying to claim I was "talk of the town". But for some reason I decided to also add the detail, a realization I guess, that the only women I did get any luck with all worked together. And I had earned 3 of their numbers, hence here comes the next joke "I must have been doing something right \*wink \*wink". Again I think everyone knows me for so long that its obvious I was just exaggerating how much of a ladies man I was. In actuality, very tame, very boring dating life I feel. My body count is 2. Wife knows this. No mystery. Oh and we been together for so long. All reasons I didn't think none of it would be taken seriously.
Well. 24 hours go by and my wife tells me she felt like I didn't need to share that with our friends. She felt like they were looking at her for a response. As if "how can your husband could be saying this stuff". When she told me, I felt terrible, I couldn't believe I made her feel that way at all, and that she didn't tell me until the next day and let it sit with her for so long. I tried to explain it was all in good fun, and I only told those jokes because the people we were with know me, and already know my history and know its all hot air. But, I totally just apologized and owned up that I embarrassed her, and I never would want to make her feel embarrassed like that. She told me to not feel sad about it. She even gave me a kiss, and told me she really didn't think about it all day.
It still messed with me all night. I still feel bad about the way I made her feel. I think I will have some flowers sent to her work.
TL;DR: bragged how I was such a "ladies man" I was back in the day to some friends in front of my wife as a joke. Wife did not appreciate it.
KimmyWex1972: Apologize (as you have) and sending flowers is a nice touch. People screw up, it's a thing.
The BEST thing you can do, however is to never do anything to make her feel that way again going forward. Actions speak louder than words. She'll get over it.
Rippper600: Lol “never”? Na I will probably embarrass her sometime again. We aren’t perfect
KimmyWex1972: True true... but you can try your best lol.
Rippper600: I Will!
| 5 | 17.4 | |
1663637198 | 1663663188 | t3_xiv2t1 | t5_2to41 | 5,709 | Korafaa: TIFU By Putting Anime Stickers In My Phonecase
For reference, my friends last year came into school with a lot of... how do I say this... provocative anime girl stickers. We all laughed our asses off while shuffling through all of them, each one of us stealing a couple from the pile. Now, I didn't want my family or any teachers to see my new stash, so I slipped off my phone case, put the stickers in along with a drawing a friend has made of me and a sweet note from another friend I had in there, and closed my phone back up.
Fast forward a year or two to today. This morning I was a bit frazzled due to other school obligations, causing me to be pretty careless with my phone, leaving it behind. I only realized this halfway through my fourth period after I had some time kill, wanting to pull out my phone and mindlessly scroll as I waited to be dismissed. Of course, I couldn't find it in the typical pouch I leave it in, or anywhere in my bag after dumping everything out.
Confused, I went back onto my laptop and used Google's, "Find My Phone" feature to try and figure out if I maybe left it on the bus or in a previous class. After realizing it was in the same building as my locker, I sighed out of relief as I had been at my locker that morning. I would just go to my locker quickly before heading to the cafeteria. I only had another period after this one, not too bad of a wait.
I was only about 30 minutes into my class period before lunch when I received a very omnious email from my school's dean. "I believe I have located your phone. Please come to [dean's room number] to retrieve it.".
Of course I sort of started to panic, as I thought it was in my locker. Apparently it wasn't, and now our school's dean had it. My mind kept jumping to the same question; how did they know this was my phone? I have a pretty generic lockscreen with a pass code, and nothing on my case indicates who's phone this is.
After retrieving my phone, I turned it on to check any new notifications I had. I then turned my phone over, noticing a change. That drawing my friend had drew of me typically poked out of the camera hole a bit, leaving a white strip of paper just under the camera. Confused, I popped of my phone case and noticed the trinkets inside had been mixed around... including those nifty anime stickers. The dean had seen those stickers. Those nifty ol' stickers.
TL;DR: My dean saw the NSFW anime stickers I had in my phonecase after I lost my phone.
LurksAroundHere: Dean is probably just thankful you're not one of those people wearing full blown anime/manga porn hoodies in public. At least you knew to keep yours hidden.
__Vanilla_Milk__: Even though the Dean had no right to go through the phone and it’s case in the first place. Infringement of privacy.
WarpTroll: If the little slip of paper was barely seen it was probably checked for drugs.
__Vanilla_Milk__: It’s still infringement of property due to the 5th amendment unless written with a warrant to state other wise for the search given to the party being searched. You cannot look through another person’s things without writing a written report and you are in the wrong if anything happens otherwise.
The-Verminat0r: But do we know if this person is in America
__Vanilla_Milk__: Look, I’m not here to be attacked or be questioned. I stated the facts for America (guessing it would be their native land judging by how good they are at English). To give advice on what to do in that case. I’m getting downvoted for facts and I don’t know why everyone is so pressed about my Reddit opinion. 🤩
Snifflypig: Uhm, America isn't the only place that speaks English
__Vanilla_Milk__: I know that. Just saying. Stop being pressed about fucking advice. If you don’t like it skip over it. Plain and simple. Stop letting a fact/opinion ruin your day.
r3dm0nk: Stop letting downvotes ruin your day mate
Atlesi: The orange arrow is like crack.
| 11 | 519 | |
1663643429 | 1663673787 | t3_xixe1g | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU depression + possible relationship = massive fuck up
[deleted]
perfect_fitz: Everyone on Reddit says you need therapy for anything. But, seriously get therapy. You sound completely unstable and I'm sure he sees or feels that. You can't be love someone else unless you love yourself first etc etc.
Silver-Mix551: As I've said 3x now, I'm in therapy
perfect_fitz: It's not working then.
TiaxTheMig1: It takes time.
Hufax: And cooperation
| 6 | 10.333333 | |
1663644128 | 1663707760 | t3_xixn1e | t5_2to41 | 1,611 | rodgolpe: TIFU by trying to step off a moving treadmill in a running shop
I'm running my first full marathon (26.2 miles) in October to commemorate my 50th birthday and raise money for the adoption agency that united me with a little boy in 2018. I decided to treat myself to a pair of "real" running shoes from Hanson's Running Shop in Royal Oak, MI (USA).
An associate brought out a pair of Brooks Glycerin GTS 20 (iirc). After I walked up and down the store aisles, she tells me I can try them on the treadmill at the back of the store, to which I reply, "Really?! That would be AWESOME!" (Note that I do not typically run on "dreadmills" due to my admittedly irrational hatred of them.) I cranked up the machine to 8.5 (whatever that means), realized that was a bit too fast, and pressed the [Off] button. After ~30 seconds, it was still g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y slowing down. 8.3.....8.1.........7.8......wtf -- just stop already! So I'm thinking to myself, "Really experienced runners must have a cool way to just ride off the back of these things." And so... I tried 😑
I slowed my pace just a little so I was running almost at the back of the treadmill deck. Then I tried like a 90-degree turn, expecting to casually complete the 180 as I glided onto the floor. Uh, WRONG. Instead, my feet were thrown off the back while my upper body slammed down onto the treadmill deck. As it pushed me toward the end, I tried to regain my balance to stand. But that made me roll over back onto the treadmill, which triggered my reflex to balance, which made me roll over... And repeat. Like an old rag in the dryer.
As this was happening, I felt compelled to call out "It's me! It's me!" As though the store associates might be wondering "What was that banging sound? Perhaps I should investigate." But, upon hearing my assurances of "It's me," would go back about their business and spare me the embarrassment of acknowledging what I had done.
A few seconds after I stood up, the associate appeared and asked if I was okay. I said yes, and then noticed a line of blood on my baby blue shorts, and realized my left little finger was bleeding. I quickly cupped my hand to catch (and try to hide) the blood from dripping. As the associate tried to remount a Running magazine cover I'd knocked off the wall, she asked if I liked the shoes. I told her "I think I need a wide." And later, when she asked if I wanted to try a different pair of shoes on the treadmill, I answered, "You know, I just don't think I run the same on a treadmill as I do outside."
To exit as coolly as possible, I purchased a full price pair of Hoka Clifton 8, 10.5 wide. And no, they don't fit properly. And HELL-to-the-NO, I ain't goin back!
TL;DR
I fell off a treadmill at a fancy running shop, bled onto my shorts, bought a pair of $140 shoes just to exit with a tiny amount of dignity, the shoes don't fit, and I refuse to go back to the store.
Edit: love the 💀 award 👌🏻 thank you!
merganzer: Treadmills can actually be quite dangerous. And 8.5 mph is a pretty fast pace if you normally do long distances. You're lucky you weren't hurt worse. If I need to dismount quickly, I normally step onto the sides while gripping the bars.
A note on the Brooks Glycerins: I bought myself a pair a couple months ago as a rare treat, and while they fit fine in the store, I haven't been happy with the long-term use (I'm working up to a 50k/~31mi race, and they wear funny on my toes on the downhills). The Brooks Ghost 14's I got last Christmas, however, are still great, if very worn at this point.
rodgolpe: I considered hopping a foot onto each side. This one even had handrails on the sides I could've more easily hopped onto like a pommel horse vs. what I chose to do. Not sure what possesses me sometimes.
I bought Ghost 14's in 10.5 online and sent them back. That was another factor in me going to this shop. I normally run 5-10K @ 7:30-8/mile and wanted something with more cushion for this big step up in distance.
plilq: You think of distance in kms but speed in miles?
CommissarCiaphisCain: Short races in the US are called 5K or 10K, not 3.1M or 6.2M. So runners also refer to them in metric. But since we still use imperial for most of our measurements, we think of speed in MPH.
Note: this is just an explanation, not a statement on the US still using imperial measurements.
rodgolpe: I remember installing Windows NT Server back in the day and Microsoft framed the choice as "Metric or Standard"? 
Because nothing says "standard" like "according to [5% of the planet](https://www.reddit.com/r/theydidthemath/comments/2cjiau/selfpercentage_of_the_world_that_uses_metric_by/)." /s
| 6 | 268.5 | |
1663673547 | 1663677058 | t3_xj6ayx | t5_2to41 | 981 | Adept_Hotel5859: TIFU. I dozed off and killed my Dad
[removed]
Rosey991: This is not YOUR fault. This is actually fucking medical malpractice.
Adept_Hotel5859: Thank you for saying that. It means so much to me. I've been blaming my self for almost 3 years can't sleep and can't even cry.
Rosey991: Please please. Its genuinely not your fault, that nurse didnt do her job. Please look if you’d like into legal stuff
Adept_Hotel5859: Thank you but I'll keep on carrying the guilt for a bit more, it reminds me that he was here with me.
Jetztinberlin: I hope you can find a healthier way to carry your dad with you. That guilt is only the tiniest and last of all the moments of your life together. What about you is like your dad? He is there. What did he teach you? He is there. I doubt he'd want this to be the way you keep him with you, friend. Wishing you healing on your path forward.
ETA: From what you describe, if it was only a few moments you dozed off, it's very unlikely this was the cause anyway. It sounds like it might have just been your dad's time. I'm sorry, and again... I hope you can forgive yourself and heal.
Adept_Hotel5859: I've been trying a lot of ways but it was all in vain.our favourite way to bond was cuddling with each other and talk about life, I know it sounds weird when 2 adult male cuddle but my Family cuddles a lot no matter how old you are. I just have no one to talk to right now as my siblings have their own lives to live and also I am single and few close friends that are far away. But thank you for your Good wishes. Hope you all the best too.
Kittae: Im impressed at how hard you fought. You really went to war for him. I hope your guilt can become pride in that.
| 8 | 122.625 | |
1663675316 | 1663675625 | t3_xj6wvm | t5_2to41 | 34 | rabbitt-we: TIFU #65! Only three more to go 👀
TheOLDuserr: Do you guys dare me to raise my hand? I’m in school 😂
Jagzorin: tifu by talking during class
TheOLDuserr: No I’m in breakfast. I only wanted to scream into my mic lol
| 4 | 8.5 | |
1663657723 | 1667966391 | t3_xj1u3y | t5_2to41 | 7 | Tight_Chocolate_2696: TIFU by purposefully sleeping with a young man's wife, ruining his entire life and being completely evil.
And yes I have a tiny dash of proof down on in the post.
Long story short, I \[25M\] have extremely severe bipolar disorder. I have been institutionalized many times for it, to give you an idea of it's severity there was once a time when I was driving my car and I got an extremely energetic urge to drive it into a pole out of sheer rage from thinking of a past event. ***Today's fuckup started because of a chemical issue I would assume.*** Last week I had to stop taking Latuda, as it was destroying me. So I switched to Zoloft, and yesterday it started kicking in. One of the common things for these meds for me is that they tend to at first trigger REALLY brutal manic episodes before things get better, which is where today's (Yesterday's) story starts.
I was playing a gig at a bar in Portland Oregon with my bandmates, and this really nice looking young (Probably about 18 or 19?) Mexican girl approached me and said she liked our stuff. She had a wedding ring on and she noticed I was staring at it and said "Are you going to rob my stuff or something?" laughingly. Well something really dark just kicked in and I felt the energy of a million men course through my veins and felt completely invincible. So I asked her if she was married, she said yes. I asked her if she wanted to come back to my apartment, she was nervous at first but I convinced her to come. One thing led to another and we had sex, particularly she performed oral on me. INSTANTLY after I was finished, I regretted what I had just done. Particularly because I felt the energy and ego in my brain completely flood out of me almost like a cartoon. I kicked her out of my apartment and started pacing around my apartment freaking out. Almost like clockwork, 4 hours later I got some very angry DM's from her husband who easily found me on Instagram. Basically threatening me and telling me to pull up at his place.
Well the adrenaline and mania from being confronted by a man WAY larger then me caused me to revert back to my previous energy. [So I said the following things to him](https://imgur.com/a/eUUMkuy) in response. According to his friends who I share mutual friends with, he's plotting on assaulting me when I least expect it and knows everything about me and his family wants to kill me too (I'm a very skinny white guy, less then 140 lbs 5'7, the husband is over 6'4).
Just another example of how this disease will destroy your entire life.
***TL;DR I decided in a fit of manic rage to sleep with another man's wife and then challenge him to a duel.***
ZirePhiinix: Maybe you should get help instead of posting on Reddit.
Tight_Chocolate_2696: Another ignorant ass comment
AmphibianPotential66: You are a profoundly terrible person. The real TIFU was when your mother decided to not abort you
NegativeJuicePlaza: Hey chill out
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1663638984 | 1663695539 | t3_xivquv | t5_2to41 | 97 | Just_Listen4931: TIFU by killing my roommate's succulent
Today has been a day of bad karma irl so I just want to get this off my chest. Hopefully y'all can help me find ways to smooth things over? I brought some flowers to my dorm and my roommate has multiple containers (trash really) with dirt in them. I knew one was for growing a succulent because I could see a leaf in it so I didn't touch it. I chose the small one (like a ketchup cup) and checked it to see nothing was in there before taking an empty one and putting the dirt in there. I didn't find a succulent leaf in there and it was just dirt so I thought it was ok.
Anyways, I watered the dirt and left my flowers there, no thought about it.
Then I come out of my room a few hours later and see my flowers are moved and there's something new in the living room. I knock on the roommate's door (who normally swipes stuff) and asked her what it was. Then I asked why my flowers were on the middle of the table. She opens the door and tells me I ruined her succulent because I got it wet, didn't ask her permission to use her containers and basically screwed up. I touched something that was hers without asking-that's fair. She wasn't super angry but definitely upset. I feel so bad! I didn't know it was that important! After we spoke I sat in the living room feeling like shit. I feel like I should just be careful in common spaces and wait for this to blow over. fml.
Context: I cut the tip of my finger today chopping potatoes (oozes). My water bottle cracked down the side so when I tried to fill it up, water got everywhere. Later I noticed that water got all over my backpack and notes. Ink stains are everywhere and I spent an hour with a hair dryer to dry them all. I heard my roommates talking about my dishes (which I always do within 24 hrs, barely 4 since I used them. I think it was just asking whose dishes were those). Then the succulent. Then same roommate asked about the towel I used to clean up the water from earlier and I had to explain that also. I think one of them moved it bc I left it on the edge of the sink to dry. Tried to faucet but it's a long towel and you couldn't use the sink or the towel would droop into the sink where dirty dishes were.
TL;DR: bad karma catches up and I kill a plant
ElectroStaticSpeaker: The FU here is determining that your roommates stuff, which you allude to as trash, is free game for you to use for whatever you want. Why didn't you just buy a container when you bought the flowers? Roommate is justified at being annoyed about this as letting it go could encourage you to continue just claiming ownership of whatever else in the house is also hers.
Just_Listen4931: Absolutely. I will say when I allude to it being trash, it is literally garbage. It's not something I don't like, it's literally plastic cups or things she stole from a Culvers or something. Not saying what I did was justified because I know I am wrong.
Also, the common space is full of stolen signs, door name tags, branded stuff, etc.
E.g. 2 wet floor signs, a move in cart, a jimmy johns sign, a children at play sign, our floor identifier on the stairs, an exit sign, etc. All of these just appear and I don't get a say in it either. Mostly idc. Also, the three of them decided they want the living room to be a hang out spot and expect me to buy lights for it. They already have a meme tapestry above the couch.
ElectroStaticSpeaker: So ... you guys like to steal things?
Just_Listen4931: Not me. One of my roommates takes that stuff and it just appears.
| 5 | 19.4 | |
1663686428 | 1663727559 | t3_xjbajr | t5_2to41 | 18,533 | throwaway12389894: TIFU by getting WAY to Drunk and being Intimate with my Grandfather
Firstly, let me clarify that this did not happen today, but yesterday night. I feel so ashamed and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do as of writing this. I also want to say that English isn’t my first language so I’m sorry if the grammar isn’t perfect. I (21F) and my extended family had a family reunion yesterday because we hadn’t seen each other in a long while. I was traveling with my mom (48) and step-brother (14) to meet up with my dad and his father at his apartment. Before I go on any further I should mention that my dad (44) isn’t my biological father, and his dad (my “grandpa”) is quite young (59). My biological father left me when I was very little, and I have no contact with my family on his side. So anyways, everything was going smoothly that evening. We were having a few drinks and laughs, when my mom suddenly felt unwell and had to go lay down. As this was kinda late in the evening, my dad decided to go with her. At this point, there was only me and my grandpa left at the dinner table (my brother had to go to bed early because he had early football practice in the morning.
I don’t know who started it, but I know both me and him had too much to drink, and he started talking about his youth and how he used to try to pick up girls at the bar. I don’t know why, maybe because I was wasted or something, or the fact that we were sitting in a very dimly lit room but he started to look more attractive, especially when he was talking about his youthful days. (I can't believe I'm telling you this).
As I mentioned earlier, I don’t know if I made the first move, but I do remember us sneaking to his bedroom giggling and us making out in his bed, and not so much after that. When I woke up I was alone and this feeling of sudden remorse and guilt hit me. It all felt like a horrible fever dream. I was afraid what would happen if my parents found out.
I found out a couple of hours ago that my grandpa had told my parents that I had fallen asleep in his bed in my drunken slumber yesterday, so he let me sleep in his bed, and he had slept on the couch (the plan was originally for me to sleep on the couch).
I do not know what I will do if anyone finds out about this. This is obviously a throwaway account and no one in my family is on reddit as far as I know. This is by far the worst thing I have ever done, and it probably could ruin our family. I’m writing this at home and it’s gonna be really awkward in any future visits to my grandpa.
Tl:dr I got way too drunk on a family reunion and got way to intimate with my grandpa
TheStarfleetWizard: I've seen enough internet for the day, thanks.
HouseOfAplesaus: This is the first historical Reddit post I’ve seen being born. Will it beat poop knife? No but it’ll do.
TheWildBush: Did you not see CBAT like 2 weeks ago?
camp-cariboo: That damn song is still stuck in my head.
coffeebuzzbuzzz: I made it my ringtone.
Wireeeee: How to get fired from every job speedrun
coffeebuzzbuzzz: Ironically someone at my work was playing the song and I thought my phone was going off. He was surprised I knew what it was.
AttachedSickness: Was it the guy that fucks to the song?
coffeebuzzbuzzz: Omg no this was a 17 year old McDonald's coworker lol.
| 10 | 1,853.3 | |
1663699242 | 1663729947 | t3_xjgtbb | t5_2to41 | 24 | NungaFakeer: TIFU by holding a woman down with my legs and groping her in a country infamous for rapes.
[removed]
panbert: Saved her from frostbite? At 18 °C?????
SmugglingPineapples: It's an old trick:
*"Help! I think my dick has frostbite. Somebody rub it warm for me! Emergency!"*
^(Works approx 0 outta 100 times, according to 9 outta 10 cats... who can't show their faces because they're dentists.)
NungaFakeer: Haha, thank you for this.
| 4 | 6 | |
1663706766 | 1663710764 | t3_xjk2ni | t5_2to41 | 7 | Last_Scallion_3180: TIFU
[removed]
snowletterH: Whats the TL;DR
Last_Scallion_3180: Too long don’t read ig? The rules said to mention it if the post is too long?
snowletterH: No it’s fine, just a shorted explanation or a TL;DR would be nice
Last_Scallion_3180: Im sorry i didnt understand what you meant
snowletterH: TL;DR= to long, didn’t read. Basically a shorted explanation
Last_Scallion_3180: Ohh thanks!
Minute-Ad-2148: No you don’t understand.
You need to put an explanation with TL;DR. It is for people who don’t want to read your whole post but still understand what happened.
Edit your post and add:
“Tl;DR - Showed my teacher CBAT and now might be in trouble”
Or something like that.
I would have given you a hard time about this… but at least you read the rules!
| 8 | 0.875 | |
1663728690 | 1663787722 | t3_xjsqog | t5_2to41 | 1,689 | LettuceOk6155: TIFU by causing my best friend to have a mental breakdown
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YouSaidWhaaaa: Fam, I ain't never heard of two dudes taking a shower together.. Unless they weren in prison.
Mekazuaquaness: Yea the story is pretty sad but this part of the story is still very sus
YouSaidWhaaaa: On my soul, i'm interested in how they learned that they were okay with being nude together.
*platonically* of course
LettuceOk6155: Where I'm from with sports you gotta shower in locker rooms and shii, you get used to it after a while
YouSaidWhaaaa: I'm shocked that I didn't even think of that. That makes a lot of sense.
LettuceOk6155: The more you know 😭
rogue_linguist_x: The nude thing aside, everything else in the post screams this is a breakup. You really need to take a step back and evaluate what your relationship really is, because this is most definitely not just platonic friendship.
Here's a thought experiment, let's say nothing happened between you and A Friday and things were still in the status quo. How do you think A would react if you got a girlfriend?
LettuceOk6155: Geniunely glad you asked. I have a past of self harm and so I have scars all up down my arms and thighs right. He always used it against me during arguments. So one time I told him I was talking to a girl and idk if he was already pissed off about something else or if it's like what you're saying but he goes "Good luck with that you made yourself too fucking ugly with those scars". So make of that one what you will
| 9 | 187.666667 | |
1663760986 | 1663764277 | t3_xk2pcu | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by chatting with someone on Reddit
[deleted]
marct309: You sure you didn't get catfished?
laziestshark: I don't think so, we've been chatting for a while and she never wanted anything from me... Just friendly
marct309: Hurmph.. It's the internet seems fIshy to me. Maybe you made that 1 angry response on Reddit and said something that offended her and she blocked you. Who knows.. It's not your fault as you reportedly didn't do anything creepy. Keep your head up the darkness doesn't linger forever and you will find your way out.
laziestshark: Like I said she was waiting on a reply from me and when I went to send.... She was gone! I'll get over it but damn I was really liking chatting with her!
marct309: Just to let you know.. I didn't ghost you as well! I had to run my kid to school. It happens my guy. Move on to the next one!
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1663762970 | 1663814176 | t3_xk3fjh | t5_2to41 | 27,698 | itsmelancholydan: TIFU by mistaking my drink bottle for my vodka bottle
TIFU by mistaking my vodka bottle for my drink bottle.
I (F27) have had a really tough couple of years (as has everyone). This has resulted in me becoming a heavy drinker and I often use drinking to get through my daily life. Recently I have been drinking quite a lot to get through the stress of work and daily surviving. Today, in a rush to get to work I reached for my vodka bottle instead of my drink bottle without thinking. My normal drink bottle is made out of glass and looks pretty similar to a vodka bottle. When I got to work and went to get a drink I pulled out my vodka bottle in front of all my colleagues in the middle of a business meeting. Luckily with quick wit I passed it off as a joke but proceeded to drink the vodka throughout the day (don’t hate me I’m desperate). Despite the honest mistake it made my day so much better. However I think my coworkers weren’t so convinced….
My boss has called me in for a meeting this afternoon. I have no idea if it’s about the vodka bottle or something else but I am freaking out about what he might say…
TL;DR
I mistook my vodka bottle for my glass drink bottle and proceeded to drink it at work and now my boss wants to see me.
Update: I had the meeting with my boss which was about the vodka. Fortunately they know how hard the last couple of years have been and will let me stay provided I get help and fix myself up.
DonQOnIce: You drank it after that? Yeah, they all know you did. Good luck. Maybe you should admit to your boss you have a problem, there may be programs for employees.
WVSmitty: Yeah. Admit you have a problem with Alcohol and most companies do have a program or something.
Drug = Not so much.
OP - you can't hide the smell of alcohol. It comes out when you exhale/breathe. Mints/gum/cigarettes cannot mask it. If you talked to anyone during the day, they knew you were in the vodka.
Your_Daddy_: Yeah - there is a myth that vodka is odorless - but if a person is swimming in it, the pores in your body give it away. Some people can hide it pretty good, but booze is hard to hide. A stoner can get blazed and hit they eye drops and cologne and get away with it. The boozer will have all kinds of stories about how hard life is, inevitably bringing attention to their addiction.
ediblesprysky: > A stoner can get blazed and hit they eye drops and cologne and get away with it.
I mean... eye drops maybe, but that smell is pretty hard to hide. Usually you'll just smell like a shitload of cologne, and also weed.
Edit: Okay guys, before you reply, please try scrolling down. You don't have to tell me all the ways to consume weed without smelling like weed. I can assure you, it's been well covered. Also some of you probably still smell, even if you think you don't.
beka13: I don't know why smokers are in such denial about this. Cigarettes or weed, people can tell.
epelle9: Weed much less than cigarettes though, at least if you wait till the smell clears out.
Cigarettes take hours, weed takes a couple of minutes
omgudontunderstand: it absolutely does not and people who think it does are incredibly naive
Yupperdoodledoo: Not if you go our\side and smoke 1-2 hits. It’s the huge hitters you smell.
omgudontunderstand: i promise you it lingers for at least 10min, and cigarette stink absolutely does not linger for hours. smoke sticks.
Queensquishysquiggle: Unless the are smoking in an enclosed area.
omgudontunderstand: this is a weird “unless” honestly, all smells stick around in an enclosed area, not just smoke. i get the point you’re trying to make but it’s just the opposite of the comment i was responding to.
“unless you’re outside” “unless you’re inside” smoke smells stick regardless of where you are. of course airflow affects the duration of the stink
Queensquishysquiggle: Think about it, if you chainsmoke in and indoor area, it's going to stick around for awhile because it's having more time to settle in instead of being swept out. But I do lyft and if I get an unexpected ride closer when I'm smoking, I always apologize and ask if it smells like smoke. They always say, no it smells nice. (Currently on an apple pie air freshener kick lol).
omgudontunderstand: i did say “of course air flow affects the duration of the stink” to be fair
| 14 | 1,978.428571 | |
1663776059 | 1663987106 | t3_xk8wex | t5_2to41 | 500 | Mil3s-Away: TIFU by talking shit about my teacher while she was right behind me
Wee bit embarrassing this one. Today I (16M) was sat at the back of my maths class with my friend Jake in P3, my last lesson before lunch. My teacher, Miss McDonald, is probably the most uninteresting person I’ve ever had the misfortune of meeting. She teaches things in such a boring way that you immediately forget everything she’s said after 10 seconds of her saying it. I’ve referred to her as ‘Mini McDonald’ not because she’s short (which she is), but because she is obsessed with using the whiteboards we have on the back of our planners (that we have to bring to every lesson)
One things she’s bad at as well is helping people. If she sees you with your hand up, she will look your way and then do a lap around the class in the opposite direction, stopping off to help people who don’t have their hands up. This was the case today. I had my hand up for at least 10 minutes and she was still nowhere near me, so I decided fuck it I’m just gonna try do my work at the same time. I still kept my hand up while doing it so she’d eventually make her way over. For at least another 5 minutes I sat there with my hand aching like mental, before I sat up, swapped ands and said this, word for word, to Jake:
‘Jesus Christ Mini McDonald, will you hurry your speccy fucking four-eyed arse over here’
I expected Jake to be laughing as he would normally, but instead he just stared at me. I then turned around to find Mini McDonald staring at me, right behind me. She shouted at me to say that again. I said nothing, so she grabbed the planner and told me to ‘get out of the classroom right now and wait for me outside’.
I’m not a guy who gets in trouble a lot but I’m also not afraid to speak my mind at all. Mini McDonald went on a screaming rant about respect to me, before giving me two weeks of detention, sending me to the class next door, and phoning my mum during lunch. So I’ve got all that to look forward to now.
TL;DR - I said something about my teacher without realising she was right there
LadyOfHouseBacon: Apologise. Then ask for a time where you can talk about the concerns you have in class.
It can be frustrating to not have the whole story, but as a teacher, sometimes you have to juggle a lot of stuff. The kid's she's helping who don't have their hand up might have OnePlans/special learning plans, maybe she's subtly dealing with bad behaviour or time wasting, maybe she has a system of working her way around the class to make sure she gets to see every student in a short time span. You say she's bad at helping people, but you actually observed her helping a variety of people.
However, you can also be proactive about the issues you have. Rather than use your energy making up nick names and making your friends laugh at the back of the class, explain to her that you are struggling, and could she help you? Explain that you find it difficult to focus in class, and that you would appreciate it if she could check in with you at the beginning of the 'student activity' part of the lesson to make sure you understand. These are reasonable requests that she can respond to, but she was right to be upset overhearing you say something like that.
Artemisa_vv: This is a good perspective that can be applied to good teachers that are trying their best given the circumstances.
Without knowing OPs country/area/school system it's hard to say good teachers are the norm and therefore they deserve the benefit of doubt. They're definitely not the norm where I grew up.
Over-Kaleidoscope281: You could also just not be an asshole to people as well regardless, pretty good rule to live by.
Artemisa_vv: I assume you've never said anything impolite about someone to a friend?
In this story OP just got unlucky by having that someone overhear their venting.
Over-Kaleidoscope281: Oh I definitely have, that’s called being an asshole.
I’ve also learned to stop doing that because of how shitty it is as I grew up.
> In this story OP just got unlucky by having that someone overhear their venting.
Nah, he’s a dumbass and insulting people who are trying to help them who also get insulted daily by other dumbass kids.
7AndHalfInch: Most teachers don't give a single fuck about their job, her ignoring op while he had his hand raised for 15 minutes while she helps other students that didn't even ask for help is just an asshole move by her, she probably already had something against him if it was actually 15 minutes
Over-Kaleidoscope281: Lmao you’re 18, I know plenty of teachers who care about their jobs. Get the fuck out of here child
| 8 | 62.5 | |
1663777355 | 1663864056 | t3_xk9i0p | t5_2to41 | 4,243 | Warm_Joke: tifu by killing a shark
So I'm going to keep this short
I was going shark diving with scuba gear for my first time ever yesterday because I was afraid of sharks before and I had to train to get over the fear and be ready and not get a panic attack and do anything dumb while swimming with sharks
Anyway after we got there and jumped in the water it was really beautiful of course and we just chilled with fish until the first shark came and I was really nervous but eventually I pat it's back and I was comfortable around them I don't think these were great white sharks because they weren't aggressive
So after a while and we were bout to head out one of them bad boys comes straight at me I got really scared and didn't know what to do but then I remembered the guy on the boat told us if a shark comes at you just hold its nose and direct it to another direction
After I held its nose I was still really scared so I quickly tried to direct it to another direction but accidentally flipped it upside down and it didn't move after that at all
Completely still after like 10 seconds I thought about petting it's bellie but realized they get horny like dolphins and rap me underwater
So yeah we left it like that and left and it was not moving
Now I didn't really pay attention to the fact I flipped a shark untill today my friend told me that sharks get immobilised and die after some time after getting flipped
So yeah I might have accidentally killed a shark
Also not English so if English is bad don't mind me
TL;Dr might have accidentally killed shark
xyander64: Quick google says sharky will sap out of it in 15 minutes and go about his day like nothing happened
Warm_Joke: Hopefully
conme: It's something called "tonic immobility" and the shark will definitely be fine.
single_malt_jedi: Orcas use this technique to kill sharks
ababyprostitute: Rabbits use this technique to escape predators
Potato_palya: How does a rabbit flip a shark?
sylpher250: 1. Hold it by its nose
2. Flip
3. ???
4. Post TIFU for karma
Warm_Joke: You got me
| 9 | 471.444444 | |
1663785997 | 1663860557 | t3_xkdbe4 | t5_2to41 | 59 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting ex and her boyfriend
[deleted]
Virtura: What are you, 13 years old? All of you need to grow the fuck up. Find better friends and learn some independence.
Brightman0103: I am 17 apparently and i do realise the fact that i desperately need new friends that's why i didn't feel regret breaking up things🗿
Crazydarkside4: This happened to my son, for slightly different reasons and the ptsd he had previously became much worse.
He lost his entire friend group in one day and it really screwed him over. Do you have any other friends you can talk to?
You are right that when things get this toxic it is better to move on, it doesn't make it easy to do though. It isn't about growing up, it is about realising that this was destroying you mental health.
Stay strong and don't look back, find some one to talk to. Explore groups on discord that have the same interests as you and gently dip your toes in the water.
Brightman0103: It didn't matter to me much because I am a little introvert. But yea the fact does hurt a lot tbh. I am quite fine and thank you for your advice . I appreciate it
Crazydarkside4: That's ok, I just didn't want you to think you were "being like a 13yr old". You arent!
| 6 | 9.833333 | |
1663793281 | 1663798356 | t3_xkgjcy | t5_2to41 | 0 | samiwords: TIFU by looking through my friend's little brothe's google search history
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jmukes97: Why on earth would you do that? Let the kid have some privacy, Jesus.
samiwords: We were just curious about the topic, and we had the opportunity to look it up on her little brother's browser history. im sorry :/
| 3 | 0 | |
1663801783 | 1663903439 | t3_xkk66z | t5_2to41 | 9,543 | ThatsElDuderino: TIFU by picking up a small baggie of weed off the ground and taking it into my place of work..
I walk to work and go home for lunch everyday. Last Monday I was walking home from lunch and took my regular route through a parking lot that backs to a local BBQ place, and is used by many of the restaurant staff.
While walking I spotted something shiny and purple on the ground between two cars so I stopped to check it out, and when I reached down to see what it was, I found a small bag with a label saying "Purple Punch" and when I turned it over it was a couple of grams of decent looking bud.
Here is where I fucked up - I just put it in my pocket, thinking "ground score" - cool. The parking lot being right next to the BBQ place meant that there was a big smoker pumping out aromatic hickory smoke, so that was all I could smell.
Well, I got into the office (I work for a local government at the Government Center) and about 5 mins later start smelling a really strong reek of weed, and thought, "who the fuck smells like weed?" DOH! It was me! Shit! This cannot abide. I pulled the offending package out of my pocket, wrapped it in 3 plastic bags, throwing in some orange peels, and then put that into a sealed travel mug and buried it under my desk.
Nothing ended up happening, but even though legal in my state, I have a semi official job and it would have been a really bad look...
Tl:Dr found a bag a super stinky weed and brought it into my governmental office smelling up the place...
InstallWizard: Was it any good?
ThatsElDuderino: Actually yes. And will last me for as good long while....
DWright_5: A couple grams? So, a good long couple days?
ThatsElDuderino: I'm an old dude who only smokes on the weekend at the disc golf course, so yeah...
DWright_5: I’m old too! Eight months ago I gave up 80% of my drinking and replaced it with weed. No doctor would recommend that you regularly inhale smoke, but I’ve lost 60 pounds and am now thin. There were some other factors, but that was the biggest one. I don’t have any alcohol in the house anymore. I go out a couple evenings a week to my local watering hole to see friends, but it amounts to dramatically less drinking than I used to do.
BrothelWaffles: Middle age dude here, y'all need to get on the dry herb vape train. Your lungs will thank you so much, even if you're only an occasional smoker. I recommend a Dynavap.
ReddiGod: Fuqn millennials... I'm 38 and I use a bong like a real man... It's the only way you can get Fat Bong Rips... With a bong, lol
TheKidHandsome: Rookie 😏 edibles man. Edibles. I quit smokin for the most part. Get off work, eat an edible, grab a shower, eat dinner with the family, put the kids to bed, and by the time I hit the couch and put my feet up, I’m wrecked. Lol
bhutos: My problem is the length of time it lasts (good and bad thing) and the amount I need to ingest which gives me a crazy hangover the next day. Sometimes a vape to be stoned for an hour or two is what you want over having enough edibles that you're buzzing and can't sleep until 3am and then have trouble walking straight when you wake up.
TheKidHandsome: True. I get that. I ate a couple Gummies the other night. Thought they were duds. Hit my vape a couple times and went to bed. Woke up the next morning FUCKED out of my mind. I had a staff meeting at 9am, and I was blitzed still at 8. Lol it was awful haha
bhutos: I don't do it very often so it's not a tolerance, but I process edibles differently and need large amounts to get where I want to be. Like, I'll have 500mg staggered over a few hours. Something about having that much, maybe even all the associated other chemicals seems to really do a number on me the next morning. Unless I start at like 2pm and sleep through the worst parts it's pretty bad. Like, worse than an alcohol hangover in some ways although less nauseous.
TheKidHandsome: Ah man that sucks. I really enjoy the feeling from edibles more than smoking. Doesn’t matter if it’s indica, sativa, or a hybrid. When smoking I prefer a sativa. But it only takes a small amount of edibles for me. So a gummy, MAYBE 2, and I’m okay. Idk what happened the other night. Lol
bhutos: I mean, the hangover sucks but 500mg edible is way more productive than a joint IMHO. It's almost a bit closer to a trip, will keep you awake forever and you can get a ton of stuff done if you're using it for creative pursuits. It's why i'll still choose to do it when I have a big enough chunk of responsibility-free time. But both ingestion methods have their pros and cons. I mean I'm a lightweight when it's smoked, doesn't take a lot and I enjoy that sensation as well even though it's shorter.
TheKidHandsome: edibles put my ass down lol within 2 hours or so, I’m ready to hit the sack
bhutos: Not me man, don't get me wrong, sometimes I'm a bit tired but really 95% of the time it's a super wired staring-at-the-ceiling-until-2am thing like you accidentally took a quarter or half an adderall with dinner. Enough that even if you're tired you're not going to sleep and just have to wait it out. I'll have 500mg over 2-3 hrs and that gives me oodles of time to do stuff.
TheKidHandsome: That’s wild haha 😂 pretty cool tho to be honest.
bhutos: I dunno man.. I'm kinda jelly of people that take 50mg and get a more typical stoner experience. Gotta say, it's probably also the stuff I'm having. The more refined stuff seems to do this, I HAVE had home made cookies once or twice that felt a bit more like a joint than this. But yeah, my digestive receptors are hella whack compared to vaping or whatever.
TheKidHandsome: I’m the other way around. I hit a vape once or twice and I’m toast. Couple gummies are just right. Or a good shop brownie or cookie.
bhutos: I'm new to vaping, honestly it's also a bit weak and different. I use a dry herb vape and try and spike it by putting THC oil on the herb. You have to really go at it for ages to get the same effect as a single long bong hit.. Like slowly sipping water to hydrate vs chugging. I haven't tried a purely synthetic non dry herb vape though.
TheKidHandsome: Well, due to my work, I can’t do anything illegal, so I hit a head shop for delta8. Gummies, vape, etc it’s all about the same. I smoked real bud for years in my early 20s, but quit due to govt work. Now I have govt clients. So long as it’s not illegal, I’m good to go. Delta8 is legal, so it’s what I used to quit drinking and shit. But damn is it potent.
bhutos: Oh snap, I've never tried it or any of the weed analogues over the years. Delta8 isn't legal here so I guess there isn't really a case for trying it. Honestly, I mostly did it as a teen and only got back into it after a 15-20 year break. I just can't abide the dangers of smoking at my age when I have a family etc.
TheKidHandsome: Completely understand that!
| 23 | 414.913043 | |
1663820515 | 1663993208 | t3_xkr8ax | t5_2to41 | 1,146 | BetterCallYourMama: TIFU by not confessing my feelings to my bestfriend.
I (19M) have always had feelings for my bestfriend (18F). We were in school together for 6 years and she was my very good friend from the start. I gradually developed feelings for her, but I was never gonna tell her as I thought we were too young and immature and it won't last for long. But as time went by, my feelings for her only became stronger and stronger and our friendship too. She is the person I can tell my all the problems to and she shares literally everything with me too. In lockdown we both spent most of the time chatting with eachother and watching shows together. We bonded like hell in those two years. But by talking to her I clearly knew she didn't feel the same way i felt about her. So I didn't confess my feelings to her because her friendship is more important to me than anything else.I didn't want to loose her by bringing this up.
Fast forward to the college times. We didn't get into the same college and it hurt me so bad that we were gonna split up. She got some wonderful friends from the start and I am as lonely as I can get in the college. I am one and a half year into the college and still don't have any good friend. But she has a very good friend circle and few of them being her best friend. When she told me she had other best friends in college, it stung me like hell, which is kind of selfish but I just couldn't help myself. She told me that no matter how many friends I have, you are my best friend for life and no one could replace you and I believed her. But due to us being in different colleges and her having good friends she often hangs out with, we didn't talk as much as we used to. But still we'd talk ocassionally on Insta and WhatsApp and talk on long calls once or twice in month and share everything.
Fast forward to a week ago, she called me and said she had something very important she wanted to share with me. She said that one of her best friends(let's say Andy) told her that he liked her so much and had feelings for her. But she said didn't think about him that way. Andy said I just had to tell you, the more I talked to you, my feelings for you would just become strong. He said that he didn't wanna loose her because of this but he couldn't talk with her for some days. She said Andy was genuinely a good guy and wouldn't take advantage of me and wouldn't just fool around. But she was afraid if their friendship might get ruined if something was to happen to their relationship in future. She talked to her other friend about this and she said that they are perfect for eachother and everything would be fine in the future. Don't worry too much. Andy's friend also called her and told her that don't overthink it and if you like him just go ahead with it. She said them she needs some time to think and she'll give her answer after some time. During this whole time(our conversation) I was just thinking please don't say yes. She didn't yet. But I didn't know for sure what was gonna happen. After couple of days we were having a casual conversation and this topic unfolded and she said that she was gonna say yes to him. And I felt this big shock and I didn't move an inch for 5 minutes. I felt like crying. I have never felt so broken. I couldn't let her know how I felt, so I said I was so happy for her. She hasn't said yes yet but she is going to in 3 days. Now I can't help but wonder what would've happen if I did confess my feelings. One thing I know for sure is that she wouldn't unfriend me because our friendship is too precious for her.
I already wasn't so happy with my life and now I had to live with this. AND I don't have anyone to share this with. I am so depressed by this and there's nothing I can do about it.I don't even have friends in college so my mind would divert. I'll just have to bury my feelings and I have no idea how am I gonna do that and the hard part(their relationship) hasn't even started yet. I don't know how am I gonna watch them together. I welcome any advices.
PS : I know I am too young for this, and I have so much to experience in life and this isn't the end. But can't seem to help myself.
TL;DR : I didn't confess my feelings to my bestfriend thinking it'd ruin our friendship and her other bestfriend did and she said yes and now I have to live with it.
Arcturion: Not a TIFU. You still have her friendship, which is "more important to me than anything else".
>But by talking to her **I clearly knew she didn't feel the same way** i felt about her. So I didn't confess my feelings to her because **her friendship is more important to me than anything else**
BetterCallYourMama: Yeah but I came to realisation that if I confessed to her she wouldn't left me. We'd probably resolve things. And she might just have said yes.
jaxeking: I'll be honest, this reply is entirely childish, and wholly hey selfish view of looking at the situation. It sounds to me like the friendship wasn't what mattered most you, it was your hopes for something eventually happening. And now that you have found out that at least in the short term nothing is going to be happening for you, your realizing how much you didn't care about the friendship, you only cared about the possibility of a relationship. Seriously measure your priorities, you're in college, you have possibilities, and at the very least you have the ability to make friends with women, which means you can develop the relationship further with a bit of practice.
Edit: replies to reply is* damn voice to text
Noidremained: >It sounds to me like the friendship wasn't what mattered most you, it was your hopes for something eventually happening.
If that was true then he wouldn't want to stay friends after getting a rejection
jaxeking: He never got a rejection, that's not something that ever happened to him, what are you talking about
Noidremained: no, it hasn't happened yet because he hasn't asked her out yet
| 7 | 163.714286 | |
1663821729 | 1663904238 | t3_xkrmvf | t5_2to41 | 3,043 | MediocreSection2459: TIFU by talking about tyre prices
I (51m) fucked up by talking about tyre prices.
Background. I'm an amateur motorcycle racer. I race a 600cc Yamaha. I have some sponsors and one of them provides me tyres at a considerable discount which makes racing a whole lot cheaper.
I was discussing tyre choices with another racer who was telling me about some different tyre brands and pricing. He mentioned a particular brand (Bridgestone) and the prices he got them at retail.
I was surprised as the retail price was what I get my discounted tyres at. I mentioned this to him and thought nothing of it.
A few hours later I received a phone call from my sponsor accusing me of talking about it. Apparently the guy I was talking to mentioned it to someone else who called the national distributor and threatened to cut his supply for selling tyres on the cheap.
Now I don't have a tyre sponsor.
The tyre brand i use is really good (Pirelli)
I should have kept my mouth shut.
Tl;dr : big mouth idiot blows a good deal for himself.
ouzo84: I get that you lost the sponsor which really sucks, but wasn’t your tyre supplier screwing you over by saying they were discounted when actually that was the retail cost?
Edit: oh, different brand. So a discounted Pirelli is worth the same as a full price Bridgestone.
smeijer87: And now the whole world knows.
Trapdoormonkey: He just doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut?
ouzo84: He’s already lost the sponsor, what else can he lose?
DanTrachrt: His other sponsors
MediocreSection2459: On a throwaway account? Hardly. No one knows who I am or where I am.
DanTrachrt: Hardly a throwaway account. Just skimming your comment history I can tell you’re from Australia or maybe New Zealand. You’ve also posted comments close to track days and listed at least the city, along with previous bikes you’ve ridden, and almost certainly lean conservative. No one on Reddit is as anonymous as they think. There can’t be *that* many 51 year old male Australian motorcycle racers riding a 600cc Yamaha using Pirelli tires who just lost a sponsor. I bet if I dug into your comment history, plus if I had knowledge of the field (which a sponsor would have, I do not), it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out who you are.
MediocreSection2459: Ok then.
Trapdoormonkey: Hope you learned another lesson.
| 10 | 304.3 | |
1663835800 | 1663918980 | t3_xkvr25 | t5_2to41 | 7,390 | Excellent_Ant_3401: TIFU by being a coward and not being truthful to my parents about dropping out of uni
Since my grandma died in fall last year I ( F25) have been on a continuous downwards spiral due to my mental health failing me hence why i also dropped out of uni earlier this year. But instead of actually getting help i just festered in my misery in hopes i can find a way to resolve everything without getting anyone else involved and becoming a burden on someone else. Obviously i didn't find a way because that's not how this shit works and instead it just got worse and worse and i just withdrew from all my social circles that could have helped me out.
The thing is I am the child of very strict parents that pride themselves on having such a well performing and absolutely not mentally ill self sustaining daughter ( i wish). We actual got into huge fights in the past when ever i didn't perform that well in school so in my delusional mind I thought if i just ride the depressive phase out and just re-enroll everything would be alright and my parents would still be proud of me and never be the wiser .
Well that didn't happen either and since my parents are claiming some financial benefits because of me being a university student they asked for a certificate of enrollment a few weeks back to keep on getting those benefits. I always talked myself out of having to present it (like blaming some server issues on not having it already) despite those moments being the perfect opportunities where i could have come clean. However today is the deadline of my lies working. And anxiety , my delusional mind and a good chunk of cowardice kept me from cleaning up my mess while also robbing me of sleep. I actually haven't slept in a few days . And what happens if your mental health is already shit and you don't get any sleep ? Exactly you do something very very stupid .
And the stupid thing i did was actually sitting down with a brain fueled by pure fear of owning up, started up photoshop an committing forgery actually sending it to my father's email.
Yhea i committed a crime just bc i am too afraid to tell my parents that I am actually not okay .
Anyway my only hope now is that my father doesn't read his emails before the evening so that i can numb myself enough to actually get to them to confess everything
Tl:Dr Went into a downwards spiral regarding my mental health. dropped out of uni without telling my parents , didn't get help in hope i could just ride it out and re-enroll and instead of just fessing up i committed forgery in a depressed no-sleep delusional stupor.
Excellent_Ant_3401: UPDATE: bc all are still on the clear it up train.
So I went to my parents, went worse than expected.
I mean at least i don't have to expect legal issues since my dad didn't send off the papers so that is out at least off my mind.
However I am now disowned for being too stupid and a disgrace for the family .
He postive aspect of this i will no longer have to fear disappointing them since well we are going completely separate paths no .
They also first wanted to get a lawyer to get me re enrolled but since I declined that since you know i dropped out by my own choice bc it was just too much they went the disownment route.
Ngl tho it feels kinda great to be out of that family but also pretty lonely.
Chav: Do you have your own place or a job?
Excellent_Ant_3401: I have my own appartment job is the next thing I have to work on . Currently still living off my savings i had from before even attempting uni and they start to run low especially since I no longer get student benefits ... Since I am no longer a student
Avauru: Given everything that’s happened, I doubt you have much in savings but if you have the equivalent of a few grand or can get that much at short notice (not borrowing from lenders, but possibly from a sympathetic friend or relative), and you don’t have immediate family, uni, or work obligations and can move out or sublet your living space, here’s what I would do.
Take a month or two or three or more and travel to an affordable and interesting and warm region like Latin America or Southeast Asia, where after the initial plane ticket and upfront costs, your life will be very affordable on the small savings you have. I suggest you use this as an investment in your mental health and an opportunity to recalibrate. If you have friends already overseas or willing to travel with you, even better, but even travelling alone to somewhere relatively safe like Indonesia or Vietnam, you’ll feel better immediately and then you’ll have time to think about the situation that led to all this shame and “disowning”, and what you’ll do next.
You may not think this is possible if you haven’t travelled much but it’s a matter of having a small amount of money, a valid passport and a plane ticket, and that’s it really. I’ve done this myself (including escaping to paradise last year during the lockdowns) and despite my diagnosed major depression and ADHD and so many suicidal thoughts, plans and attempts over the years, I’m still here. I really related to your post and wanted to reply to you directly in the hope that you’ll take a physical break from your surroundings and enjoy some warm climates, good food, beach time and adventures, meeting new people from around the world.
Your parents “disowning” you sounds like histrionics, but their response is proportionate in their mind to your breach of trust. In reality, it isn’t. Blood is thicker than water and certainly should be more of a tie than whether or not someone was honest about continuing their studies. Hopefully if you’re away for some weeks or months and come back and speak to them again, they will have softened. If not, it sounds like /r/RaisedByNarcissists will be the next sub you post to - hopefully after having some time in a cheap and cheerful country and giving you the restoration you are so obviously crying out for right now.
PM me if you want more specific advice. You don’t deserve the situation you’re in and I’d be glad to help more specifically and directly if my words have meant anything to you. Not a scammer or manipulator, just a fellow tormented soul who has begun to learn the strength to resist the indifferent cruelties of this increasingly fucked world. All the best, and please make your next steps constructive and sensible.
rexx2l: honestly not the worst advice, though i will mention the actual quote is "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" - what you've written is exactly the opposite of what the quote initially meant lol. I'm sure she'd appreciate the real quote too if by any chance her parents don't come around, since found family really is more valuable than blood relations. the ones you choose are the ones that matter.
Steropeshu: I thought that extended version of the phrase was made up by the internet?
Avauru: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blood_is_thicker_than_water
> Blood is thicker than water is a proverb in English meaning that familial bonds will always be stronger than other relationships. The oldest record of this saying can be traced back in the 12th century in German.[1]
Further down the article:
> Two modern commentators, author Albert Jack[11] and Messianic Rabbi Richard Pustelniak,[12] claim that the original meaning of the expression was that the ties between people who have made a blood covenant (or have shed blood together in battle) were stronger than ties formed by "the water of the womb", thus "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb". Neither of the authors cite any sources to support their claim.[11][12]
| 8 | 923.75 | |
1663948514 | 1663984132 | t3_xm1b1l | t5_2to41 | 2 | troubleis1: TIFU by thinking my mother in law was my wife.
[removed]
Limp-Reaction-3131: Lmao that’s fucked. Not sure how you’re going to live that one down, hopefully you all see the funny side of it soon enough.
troubleis1: I dont think its gonna be soon tbh
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1663963978 | 1663969924 | t3_xm7xap | t5_2to41 | 11 | speaking_moistly: TIFU by straining so hard I LITERALLY had a stroke - which may have left me with permanent eye damage.
[removed]
Czernobog78: Man you really can’t catch a break. Are you doing ok? Sorry to hear you are having this issue.
speaking_moistly: Right? Wtaf
Czernobog78: Underlying medical condition or side effect from a medication. You don’t have to tell me and you can DM if you would rather not plaster it all over Reddit.
speaking_moistly: Likely side effect of birth control pills
Czernobog78: I’m really sorry. I hope your are ok and that they can get you sorted. Hugs from an internet stranger.
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1663975852 | 1664025135 | t3_xmcqh2 | t5_2to41 | 40,603 | 6benshapiro9: TIFU by cumming in the sink instead of sinking in the cum
The story starts at a party at my parents’ house. My friends and I are chilling, getting drunk, and smoking weed. All is calm until one of my friends starts retching. We walk him to the bathroom but he doesn’t make it to the toilet and ends up puking in the sink. No big deal, we thought, after spending like 10 minutes cleaning the sink everything seems to be fine. Weeks passed and I’d all but forgotten about this incident. When this took place I lived in a rather hot country, so instead of jerking off in the bathroom (which would get incredibly hot), I’d do it on my bed and wash the splooge off of my hands in the sink. I’d keep doing this for a couple months until I went on a vacation with my family for a week. When I got back, my bathroom emanated this unholy stench that I could not locate the source of. I didn’t think too much of it and used a lot of air freshener and moved on. I also noticed that my sink wasn’t draining properly, and any water in it would take a couple minutes to go down the drain (how I hadn’t connected the dots by this point is beyond me). I asked my mother to call a plumber to fix my sink. The next day the plumber shows up and I show him to my sink and that’s when shit truly hit the fan. He opened up the pipe and it immediately started oozing this toxic mixture of puke, cum and maggots. At this point the stench was so harsh I was about to pass out. Plumber man couldn’t handle it and threw up in the toilet. I thought that this was the end, that plumber man and I were done for but no, my hero, my knight in shining armour Mr. Plumber man manages to get everything out of the pipe and flushed it down the toilet, his eyes watering and throat retching. The stench finally began to die down. It was all over. I tipped him with everything I had in my wallet. That plumber had been coming to our house for ages but I never saw him again. Godspeed Mr. plumber man. So now that the story is over what have we learned, I for one believe the main takeaway is that if someone asks the question, “would you rather cum in the sink or sink in the cum?” You should confidently respond with “sink in the cum”.
TL;DR i unintentionally created a biohazard in my sink’s pipe and nearly killed myself and a plumber because of it.
Edit: TL;DR (again). Stinky semen sink. Credit goes to u/zarkdiaz for coming up with this one
Edit 2: I know drain cleaner exists, the pipe was one of those shitty plastic ones and if I used drain cleaner the pipe could’ve melted and I did not want to take any chances.
Edit 2.5: i got pipe experts in the comments telling me how edit 2 was wrong, ok, thanks for letting me know. If I had known back then I would’ve used drain cleaner, but since I’m not a pipe prophet I consulted Google and the [first result](https://www.superterry.com/chemical-drain-cleaners-safe-pipes/) said it could damage the pipe. To all those I’ve offended with this scandalous statement I sincerely apologise, but please air out your grievances with Google.
Edit 3: [Context for the title](https://youtu.be/uXdM-BI6ODI)
huntingskeleton: What in the actual fuck did I just read
Axe_Care_By_Eugene: Need a TL DR for the TLDR
Zarkdiaz: TL;DR Stinky semen sink
ILoveBeerSoMuch: you’ve piqued my interest. feelin frisky today, ill give her a go.
edit: strong no
SethMalcolm1: lmao
SethMalcolm1: Why do I have 25 upvotes for saying "lmao"? Is reddit really this easy? lol
josvm: Yeah just have to comment quickly on hot topics thats literally how you get points
TheLaughingMelon: Whenever I want free karma I sort by rising and comment anything on every post possible.
Then sit back and profit.
Edit: Redditors mad cuz I revealed the secret 🤣
civgarth: r/PenguinOfTheMonth
TheLaughingMelon: They're so cute 😍
| 11 | 3,691.181818 | |
1663977648 | 1664061227 | t3_xmdez3 | t5_2to41 | 1,282 | Ok_Wallaby4377: tifu by ending a relationship
This story happened yesterday but I feel like it still
fits here. I (M15) broke up with my girlfriend (F15)
yesterday, and since then I've been a nervous wreck
and I've cried more than I did in out entire year long
relationship. I still have a few of her sweaters, and
a ring and bracelet she gave me for our one year
anniversary. I've seen her smile more in the last 2
days than I did in our entire relationship, and part of
me thinks that breaking up is the best thing to do.
She thinks that it was just the wrong time for our
relationship and I agree, however I also know that I'll
never forget any of the amazing memories I made
with her. Back at Christmas we went snowmobiling
on a frozen pond and watched the sun set, and I
know that I will never be able to forget that day. She
told me that she wants me to be happy and get with
other people until we're both ready to be together, but
I can't deal with my overthinking that she'll get with
someone way better than me. Her friends and family
didn't like me very much, and I don't understand why,
because my friends and family absolutely love her. I
told my stepmom about what happened and I could
see she almost cried because she knows how much I love this girl.
TLDR, I ended my relationship to make someone else happy. Any advice?
AdjustYourSet: 
And so will you.
You're 15, if you didn't break up with her it would be weirder.
Ihavepills: Wait... Why *did* they break up? What is the reason? Genuinely confused with this one.
Ultimate_Decoy: The vibes I'm getting from how OP wrote it, it's either: OP's girlfriend did not feel the same way that OP did which makes the attraction one sided, or she was pressured by her friends and family to break up with him cause he said they were not fond of OP for whatever reason.
If she seems to be smiling more after the break up, it seems like it's more of the former. Sorry to sound like an insensitive ass, but it's high school. It's full of peer pressure, raging hormones, and puppy love.
CortexRex: He broke up with her.
deannasbluefish: Go back and reread the post. Yes, he did, but for reasons she came up with, unfortunately. Sounds like she was kinda manipulating him into it. Could be for good reasons or otherwise.
CortexRex: Sure. Im not arguing with that. This seems pretty mutual. But the person I replied to said she broke up with him
kevindurant: No they didn't
| 8 | 160.25 | |
1663862599 | 1664143771 | t3_xl5f76 | t5_2to41 | 187 | boon2537: TIFU by wasting 3 days of my life getting marinated for a crypto scam
This post is on a long side but trust me, it’s worth the read. Would you kindly stay awhile and listen.
\[edit: this post getting stuck 24h+ in the waiting for mods approval hell probably killed what's left of this post already little visibility potential. But my stance remains the same: if this post could save even one person from getting scammed, hours of effort I put into writing this is worth it.\]
**Act I – A Fateful Encounter**
“Hi, are you a friend introduced by Mr. Robert,” a random person messaged me. It’s bold of you to assume I have friends; I politely say no. We briefly exchange pleasantries, but she keeps expanding the conversation. My sus meter is ringing, but I keep replying to her anyway (she looks cute). The conversation flows rather naturally and a part of me hope she is real.
After she adds me to her personal account, I check other pictures of her. I see a very pretty Asian lady sitting in a fancy restaurant, the same person as the initial account. And another picture, I see her in a park with a kid, I assume her child. That eliminates a “hot single” scam angle from my mind, why would a scammer put up a picture with a child?
​
**Act II – The Marination**
For the next two days, we talk about our hobbies, covid policies, the economy, etc. Somewhat engaging and enjoyable conversations. She gives an impression of a successful woman out of my league, who is secretly lonely. Then the topic drifts to trading/investing and she mentions she has been trading binary options on crypto profitably. We talk more about trading and crypto for a bit since I’m genuinely interested. She then offers teach me and, of course, I gladly accept.
“Good morning!” That’s a message I’ve not received in a while. I tell her that I find some left over bitcoin on Binance worth around $200 (she wants me to check if I have anything to get started). She says we can just start with that. We talk a little bit more throughout the day then she asks me if I have a computer near me. Why would she ask that, maybe she wants to start her tutoring early? I turn my laptop on, excited to learn more about crypto trading.
​
**Act III – The Tipoff**
Instead of a zoom call, she sends me a link to a trading platform. It’s clean looking. The prices displayed are accurate. I click around and the biggest fault I can find is some blank tutorial pages. It seems functional, but has some jank, like a Ubisoft game at launch. I ask her why she recommend this broker/platform and she says because this exchange can do binary options trading. That is true, since binary options trading is kinda jank, many brokers don’t have it.
I’m a click away from registering but something compels me to dig further. My initial Google search yields some news article talking about the platform, and automatic scam reviewer sites saying that it might be a scam. Maybe people talk about it on reddit? Only one result on reddit shows up. The first thing I see is “New Scam,” awesome. The scam described in the post matches my situation perfectly; my heart sank, I’ve been fooled.
​
**Act IV - The Inquisition**
Perhaps I should have followed along with the scam and try signing up to the fake platform, if I want to do a better investigative journalism. But I’m so livid at the time, I have to vent to the scammer right away. I tell her how impressed I am with the scam attempt. She quickly deflects and gets insanely defensive. If I have a shot every time she says “trust,” I would not be writing this post.
I’m on a half trolling, half venting mode at this point. I keep requesting a video call, which never happens. Then I request a screen share to see her trades, which never happens. When I question the validity of the fake platform, she only gives misleading answers. She doesn’t know how her bread and butter, binary option trading, actually work (I quickly look it up before her “tutoring session”). After almost two hours of the Spanish Inquisition, she finally gives up.
The end game of the scam is to get you to put huge money into the fake platform, and when you try to cash out, you won’t be able to. GG no re. Fortunately for me, no damages are done except wasted mental energy and time; I even find $200 in my back pocket. I consider myself lucky for coming across a reddit post detailing the scam. The scam is insanely elaborate; I can see people lose money on this.
​
**Additional Context**
Right after I’ve realized I’m getting scammed, I thought this story has to be shared. If this post could save even one person from getting scammed, hours of effort I put into writing this is worth it. Initially, I wanted to post the entire interaction to r/sadcringe. But that would be like a series of 50 images. No one’s gonna read all of that. Sitting down and writing everything out for r/tifu is a better medium.
Still, I want to share my ENTIRE interaction with the scammer so that the fortunate or smart people who never get hooked into a scam can see how it might go. I’ve put everything into this google doc with some annotations, for prosperity.
\[to be added in a comment, the Reddit spam filter understandably doesn't like links\]
​
Here are my highlights:
1. I’m still cringing about this
>Me: Pretty, owns a business, knows finances, and always learning. I’m glad we’ve made accidental friends lol. I’ll keep learning and share what I’ve learned too :P
2. Looking back, this is a pretty twisted joke
>Scammer: lol, I have time to share my experience with you and teach you, but after you gain, you remember to ask me out for dinner.
>
>Me: I’ll definitely take you out to a nice steakhouse lol
>
>Scammer: Really? lol, I’m worried that you won’t recognize me after I take your earnings
3. Engaging with the scammer after figuring it out is probably not the most productive thing to do. But it’s kinda fun, especially when you need to vent
>Scammer: IQ Option is a stock exchange, understand?
>
>Me: You should know I know how to Google by now
>
>Scammer: Your use of Google has nothing to do with me, understand?
>
>Me: Well, it’s hurting your business for one
4. A scammer probably will try to hack your other accounts, especially if you sign up on the fake platform (don’t use one password for everything)
>Scammer: Can you give me your Instagram account and let me know if you are a real person or a fake person. If you don’t, we will end the conversation.
>
>Me: Oh shit, I’m a scammer all along. Epic twist
>
>Scammer: Yes, you are a liar.
​
\*\* If you have made it this far, thanks for taking the time to read my cautionary tale. I hope this post is somewhat entertaining to read and makes you aware how scammers are adapting to the ever-increasing technologically literate demographics. Feel free to leave a comment, upvote, and share this post. Cheers!
​
**Further Reading**
>\[to be added in a comment, the Reddit spam filter understandably doesn't like links\]
Buzz words to trigger Google searches: Line scam – TIONRT – Binary Options – Crypto scam
​
TLDR: I let my guard down and thought that I found a new friend who could be my trading mentor. Turns out I’ve been marinated for 3 days to transfer money to trade on a scammer’s website. I dodged a bullet but we need to make more people aware that this kind of scam exists. Fuck scammers.
boon2537: **Additional Context: ENTIRE convo**
[https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kRmkIJsPMwT6rQWbug88yB1FyLa40KfXubswT0qicWw/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kRmkIJsPMwT6rQWbug88yB1FyLa40KfXubswT0qicWw/edit?usp=sharing)
**Further Reading:**
The same scam. Unfortunately, the victim lost $50,000 - [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/mu7a1k/tifu\_by\_falling\_for\_a\_tinder\_scam\_and\_lost\_50000/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/mu7a1k/tifu_by_falling_for_a_tinder_scam_and_lost_50000/)
The reddit post that opened my eyes (u/RuleFit9882, thanks for posting your comment inthe thread) - [https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsapp/comments/qskljl/new\_scam\_keywords\_annie\_wrong\_number\_crypto\_yibit/](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatsapp/comments/qskljl/new_scam_keywords_annie_wrong_number_crypto_yibit/)
An earlier iteration of the scam. Scammers also target women,of course - [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/khq05d/tifu\_for\_falling\_for\_a\_guy\_on\_tinder\_during\_covid/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/khq05d/tifu_for_falling_for_a_guy_on_tinder_during_covid/)
throwawayggfghvg: Thanks for sharing the entire convo. It's pretty interesting seeing how the scammer operates / builds trust with you.
| 3 | 62.333333 | |
1663983286 | 1663984102 | t3_xmfg9e | t5_2to41 | 25 | JC1812: TIFU Talks #66. Let’s have some fun! :)
DLaVieEnRose: What is this
SMS128: Hahahaha Srsly Can y’all see me? Where am I What is this lol
DLaVieEnRose: I'm not even a part of this sub and it sent me a notification lol
SMS128: Lol whatever it is—— it makes me feel like I’m a part of something for a minute and now I’m like 5% less lonely. 😂😂
| 5 | 5 | |
1664034310 | 1664036063 | t3_xmw6t2 | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by showing my mother a porn video of myself
[deleted]
[deleted]: Loved the no throwaway comment. Fuck it embrace it, be you.
vonnegutflora: It's a porn account though.
Platinum-math: Hey, shes gotta reach her market base somehow.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1664046669 | 1664052160 | t3_xn1bxo | t5_2to41 | 95 | yourdadisabean: Tifu Talks is live! Got a story to share?
yourdadisabean: I aM a SiGmA mAlE aSk Me AnYtHiNg
NaturesFire: How do I get on the mic
PheonixGalaxy: You have to be a sigma male to get on 💀
NaturesFire: How do I do that ?
PheonixGalaxy: First delete Reddit
NaturesFire: Why?
PheonixGalaxy: It’s too late they got him 😢
NaturesFire: How so , he's adding plenty of people to his show, he can add me and I can host shows
PheonixGalaxy: I’m making a joke that some people on Reddit are neck beards
He’s chill though just click the raised hand button and wait
NaturesFire: Ok it's just the hand emoticon right - you're in there I'm sure I'm naturesfire - did I do it right
PheonixGalaxy: Yep
| 12 | 7.916667 | |
1664038285 | 1664239461 | t3_xmxu3d | t5_2to41 | 7,798 | OrdosDeluxe: TIFU by playing Musical Statues with my daughter and her friends
So my daughter (3) is starting to make friends in the new area we've moved to (we've been here about a year, but she's not really been old enough to go out and play on the street yet). They're a great group of kids, and they mostly get on great (minus the usual childhood based tantrums).
The one she sees the most is Sarah (name changed, 5). Sarah lives just a couple of doors down, and they are constantly in and out of each others houses. My daughter met a lot of kids on the street through Sarah, so it's been a bountiful friendship for her.
Today, a bunch of about 6 of them was playing in our garden. They were doing the usual stuff - playing on the trampoline, playing football, chasing each other etc. Eventually I suggested a game of musical statues (where you dance whole the music plays, and freeze when it stops). Everything was going ok, and I started letting the kids pick their favourite songs to play.
We got the usual fare of Disney song demands , nothing that unexpected. Until Sarah - she asked for "Let's get down to Business", which YouTube had clarified for me as "Tiësto - The Business". To be honest, I hadn't heard the song before, and because I was starting and stopping it, I didn't really pay any attention to the lyrics.
Later I walked the girls round the block and took them home - when I got to Sarah's house, her parents asked me in for a coffee and a chat about what they'd got up to. I filled them in, and told them about Musical Statues as well. I asked Sarah "Sarah, how did you know that song? I haven't heard it before." Before anyone else could talk, she said without skipping a beat: "Mummy and Daddy play it in their room when they lock their door, it's loud!"
It took a minute for the penny to drop for me, bur Sarah's mum's face going red sped the process along quickly! I hurriedly bundled my daughter out, and when I told my wife about it, she laughed her ass off at my misfortune as I laugh/despaired into my hands.
TLDR - A game of musical statues with the kids revealed the music that my neighbours like to fuck to.
EDIT - Saw all those CBAT comments, had no idea what that was until I clicked one of the links. Holy shit, that is ear cancer.
InadmissibleHug: So, I looked it up.
great tune, I can see why they might like to bang to it.
But.
I don’t know if I could after seeing the music vid.
Also
It’s only 3 mins long.
Crc_52: Probably not as good as cbat tho
InadmissibleHug: Oh god, I’d only just forgotten about that
TheW83: You must never forget.
Mrsensi11x: Is it reddit legend now? Up there with the 2 broken arms guy, the maggots girl and the swamps of bogadah
cavaliereternally: Don't forget the jolly rancher
AnnualDegree99: And the potato
No_Cause_324: Does anybody have the links to these? Only one I know of is cbat.
davieon: DON'T! Especially not the jolly rancher story. Do yourself a favour, don't read it. Forgot it exists. Keep your innocence.
No_Cause_324: Its too late, that was the first one I searched for lmao
FionnagainFeistyPaws: I knew the story, and forgot, so I'm looking it up again!
droppedmybrain: How'd it go?
FionnagainFeistyPaws: My brain went "oh yeah, that" and that was it.
I am disappointed that my reaction this time is nothing compared to the first time. I've become far too jaded.
| 14 | 557 | |
1664113513 | 1664131768 | t3_xnns30 | t5_2to41 | 3,909 | tskclst: TIFU parking my girlfriend's car
TIFU parking my girlfriend's car
I'm not quite sure if this is the best place to post it, but I'm feeling guilty enough that it seemed fitting. My girlfriend (25) lives about an hour away in a small town. She was going out of state for the weekend for her friend's bachelorette party and had to use the airport that's only a few minutes away from my apartment. We figured she would just pick me up from my apartment and I would just drive her car back.
All was going perfect, I had made her some coffee since she had to drive an hour to be at my place by 5:30AM, I dropped her off, then drove back to my apartment complex. Well about a week ago they had sent out a notice about guest parking and that fines would be handed out to anyone parked in the complex who wasn't a tenant. They specifically said the road in front of the complex was the only area for guests to park. So of course that's exactly what I did, i went out of my way to make sure her car was parked on the right side of the road even.
She was having such a great time over the weekend, and we really opened up a lot to each other emotionally and talked about how excited we were to see each other at the airport. On her last full day of the trip, I had gone to run an errand, and driving back I saw she had a green paper tucked under her windshield wiper. Initially I was annoyed thinking it was a warning to move the car because they specifically said it was guest parking. I went to check it out and someone had hit her car. The paper was an incident report. Without even thinking about it, I sent her a picture of the damage and the papers on who to call and I feel like I really just ruined her weekend.
She's already so stressed about money and now she's worried her rate will go up and I feel absolutely terrible. What's even worse is the incident happened the day she left and I didn't leave my apartment until two days later. I don't even understand how it happened because it's a wide street, wide enough for at least 4 cars I'd say. They hit the front of her car, so they had to have been literally all over the road, but her car was the only one parked there and it feels like had I just moved it forward a few feet this would have never happened.
She's been acting a little distant since I told her about it and I really feel like I ruined the good time she was having. I go to pick her up in a few hours and the anxiety is eating away at me. I was really looking forward to rushing out to hug and kiss her when I saw her but now I'm afraid she won't want to even talk on the drive back to her car. Honestly any advice on how to make it up for her would be helpful. I already told her I could pay for repairs, but with her rates going up, I don't know how much it will help.
Update: I picked her up from the airport and I could tell she was exhausted. The ride over to my apartment was a little quiet, but I really think she's just tired, she had to wake up at 3AM to get to her flight today. But we looked at her car and she looked at the debris and laughed saying that it seems like the other car got more damage. We loaded up her car with her bags and next thing I knew two hours had passed with us just standing by her car while she told me about a terrible book she read on the flight, how regretful she is that she let her friend paint her nails blue (she's the more butch-esque one out of the two of us, it's definitely a look 😅😂) and it was like everything was just fine! She even said herself that she had intended to see the damage and go because she was so exhausted, but it's like as soon as we started talking she woke right up 😁 I definitely got myself worked up over nothing, but I thank everyone for their advice!
TL ; DR My girlfriend was going away for the weekend on a trip. I parked her car on the road where guests are supposed to park and saw someone had hit it. I think I ruined her weekend by telling her what happened on the last day of the trip. But everything turned out just fine when she saw the damage and I think seeing it in person reassured her that it wasn't as bad as she was thinking.
WhyNot-POR: How will her rate go up if the incident is not her fault? Or am I missing something?
tskclst: I think it just happens in general when a claim is filed. I tried looking it up to put her mind at ease, but I think it really depends on the insurance you have
Three_Fifty: If you're in the US don't put a claim through your own insurance. Only go through the insurance of the person who hit her car. Her rate shouldn't go up from this.
Gwingle: ~~This is the best advice here. She will be fine. Other person's insurance should pay it.~~
[I was wrong, check this comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/xnns30/tifu_parking_my_girlfriends_car/ipv15sn?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
ThisIsWhoIAm78: No it's not. The other company won't pay until forced to in court. If she goes through them, she'll be waiting months to years for any repairs or money.
If she files with her own, they get her fixed right away, and they *always* sue the other company in court to get reimbursed. They will then return her deductible and any additional fees she may be owed.
Gwingle: Okay, but she's worried about her rates going up. And it sounds like the car is drivable in the meantime.
ThisIsWhoIAm78: Her rates won't go up. And she will literally have to take the other insurance company to court to force them to pay - that's what your OWN insurance company does on your behalf.
You think it's gonna be cheap to hire a lawyer and sue the other insurance company to try and force them to make her whole?
FutureRobotWordplay: Her own insurance company wouldn't even sue! It's not cost effective. Maybe you are confusing arbitration or subrogation, but either way, stop spouting nonsense as if you have any clue what you're talking about.
ThisIsWhoIAm78: Her insurance company would absolutely take the other company to court to recoup costs. They likely will end up settling it, sure, but I DO know what I'm talking about.
FutureRobotWordplay: You are clueless. I worked claims for five years in several departments. You don't know anything.
ThisIsWhoIAm78: I've had 4 no fault accidents over the years, and they always played out the same. You trying to tell everyone an insurance company will happily pay out all claims to non-customers by blindly accepting fault, and pay in an expedient manner? Lmfao. Give me a break.
FutureRobotWordplay: Where did I say blindly? Hitting a parked car is pretty clear cut. I've handled thousands of claims, but I guess you're the expert, so keep spouting your uninformed opinion.
Edit: unless you're in Michigan, then you'd be partially correct.
| 13 | 300.692308 | |
1664115661 | 1664128811 | t3_xnoni5 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my fiancé we need a break.
[removed]
Thud2: This whole post is just so fucked up it's amazing
Skrawberrycake: Is it ??
Thud2: You're submissive to your man? This is okay sexually if you choose, but in life... Just no.
Skrawberrycake: Only if he gives me that energy yes. Most women can agree that certain traits bring out their feminine side more .
Thud2: But you don't feel you have to do as he directs you in life do you?
Skrawberrycake: Nooo lol that’s just controlling not the same thing
Thud2: Glad to hear. I know the other kind can be fun
| 8 | 0.875 | |
1664111303 | 1664169105 | t3_xnmxrf | t5_2to41 | 103 | Tiled_Deepslate: TIFU by cutting a chili pepper and going to the bathroom afterwards.
Today I fucked up by cutting up a chili pepper for my breakfast. I forgot to wash my hands. I then went to the bathroom after eating and touched my junk without washing my hands. It started hurting instantly. It hurts so much😫
Don't be like me, make sure you wash your hands.
Edit: About 10 or so minutes later, the pain is starting to go away, leaving only a warm sensation.
Edit: Now about 20 or so minutes later the pain is almost completely gone, warm sensation is still there.
Tldr; Went to the bathroom after cutting a chili pepper. I am now in pain.
(Breakfast was two eggs(fried with runny yolk, salted), a piece of buttered toast(cut into two triangles, and the chili pepper.)
Edit: I also blew my nose and accidentally touched my nose while doing it (hadn't washed my hands yet) and it hurts as well.
Useless_Person_Here: Try accidently rubbing your eyes and then see (or don't see) what happens
Tiled_Deepslate: I already did that a couple hours later and it hurt like HELL. (I'm fine now tho)
Useless_Person_Here: I remember doing something similar to my eyes when I was making some spicy noodles and all I can say some milk was wasted and many tears were shed and alot of anxiety over blindness was casted over me
ammonium_bot: Did you mean to say "a lot"?
^^I'm ^^a ^^bot ^^that ^^corrects ^^grammar ^^mistakes.
^^PM ^^me ^^if ^^I'm ^^wrong ^^or ^^if ^^you ^^have ^^any ^^suggestions.
^^developed ^^by ^^/u/chiefpat450119
Useless_Person_Here: Sigh, goodbot
| 6 | 17.166667 | |
1664113482 | 1664148848 | t3_xnnrno | t5_2to41 | 281 | uhh_idk_22: TIFU by craving pancakes
Today I fed up by wanting crisp cinnamon pancakes for breakfast.
I woke up and my first thought was cinnamon pancakes. I couldn't find the pre-made mix so I, in my idiocy, decided I would make them from scratch. My recipe called for milk, as it should, but here's where everything goes wrong.
I initially thought it looked way too chunky, but oh it's probably because I mixed it wrong, right? It smells weird.. that's because I just need to cook it, right? They won't cook correctly? Oh it's fine! I mean what do I know, I've never done this before. Why did I ignore the signs..
Time skip to 2 consumed pancakes later. I thought they tasted off so my initial thought was I did something wrong, but then I noticed.. the milk had gone bad about a week ago. Kicker? I found the premade mix in the cupboard. I can already feel my stomach doing cartwheels.. I am currently writing this in terror for my bathroom and stomach.
TL;DR I wanted pancakes, and ignored all the signs. Now my bathroom and I are in for a milk-fueled nightmare.
Edit: i could have sworn I did edit this earlier- but anyways, it's been a day and the smell still lingers, my stomach feels better, and I've thrown out the milk! It's morning now tho.. I'm thinking eggs for breakfast this time
Slash_Raptor92: I've drunk milk a day older than that and I was fine.
Parttime-Princess: Some milk stays good for longer.
After the Best Before date, you always need to check smell, sight and taste. If one of them is off, don't consume.
It can start rotting the day after the BB date. Or 10 days. Depends on the pack of milk.
Slash_Raptor92: Yup, all true. And I always check. I just seem to have good luck with milk because all of them seem to last at least five days longer than the BB date. This year I switched to almond milk which has no dairy.
uhh_idk_22: Please transfer your luck to me- all my milk goes bad so quick
Slash_Raptor92: Sure, but you have to find a luck transfer ritual.
| 6 | 46.833333 | |
1664099654 | 1664292467 | t3_xnj49q | t5_2to41 | 53 | angryOct: TIFU by loosing my best friend for sexual desire
A little context is needed to understand the story. Me and my former best friend had a story and sexted even after that story ended. Our sexual chemistry was very high and i always told her how much i liked her body. But our friendship was above it, i trusted her blindly and so did she.
Fast forward to some days ago, she broke up with a guy she was seeing that i also know and told me she didn't want to do anything, i was going out to drink with my brother and some friends for a special occasion so i told her to join us, but there were a few issues. We live in two different near towns but the trains stop at 9 pm, she wasn't in a great mood and so i convinced her that we would have make her feel better, that she could sleep with me in my king size bed and that i would have listened to all her problems like I've always done.
Everything was basically perfect, we drank a bit too much but she was taking her mind off that problem, knowing some new people, doing some drunk karaoke. Normal things but with a great company so they become enjoyable and everyone had a great night. When it was time to sleep i told her if she wanted to talk about her problems, it was something around 3 am and we spent at least an hour speaking, she cried a lot but it was okay, i hugged her for a while and also managed to make her smile in the end. Time to sleep.
That's where I fucked up everything. She had on my favourite lingerie (i have seen her many times, even have pics of her in it), we were laying on the bed, her fucking perfect ass was off my dick just by 2 inches and at some point i slid my hand under her shirt and kissed her. Worst choice of my life. She said nothing, and still is not doing it. And she's right. I fucked up our years long friendship for nothing, betrayed her in the worst possible moment and i didn't even realized it right away. The only sentence she said to me is "some actions don't need words after" and i think that's the end of it all.
I already miss her and don't know what I'll do, i feel like shit and I'm considering going to therapy because i feel what I've done is something that i need to fix. I want no one to ever feel like she felt and look at me the way she did. But I'm afraid being sorry will never be enough.
TL;DR my best will never speak to me again because I tried to fuck her in one of her weak moments
Spiritogre: You guys were sexting while she was in a relationship?
angryOct: Yes, she said it was okay for both of them.
TheFugglyDuckling: You don't need therapy you're just feeling the consequences of making a predatory move on your vulnerable friend. Just be honest with yourself...but hey to each their own 💁♂️
Defdyer1985: Predatory move …. She sexts him , sends him dirty pics and wore lingerie, if those are not all either red flags or purposeful teasing nothing is, as long as he stoped as soon as she didn’t respond positively then there is nothing predatory about it
Update : I’m sorry this is really eating at me in todays culture, but that would be like if he woke up to her blowing him and he kissed her and she is like wtf stop trying to rape me.
1. You should never have sex or try for the first time with some one when either of you are drunk male or female .
Besides that you did nothing wrong and anyone that tells you other wise is exactly why we are failing as a society. It’s okay for women to sexualize men and hit on men but as soon as a man does it back to anyone you are a predator no wonder most man choose not to even interact with females anymore
RandomDerp96: To me the literal only issue was him touching her without former approval during a massively difficult time for her.
And that's a huge thing to fuck up.
The sexting was mutual, the flirting was mutual.... The situation was not mutual.
Had he waited I'm sure they wouldve done it some other day.
But no, he had to go for it the day she vented to him and cried her eyes out.
Defdyer1985: This part I do agree with like I’m imagining her all crying and snotty and him trying to kiss her lol like seriously bro give her a day or two
RandomDerp96: You kinda downplay it a lot.
It is with absolute certainty a tremendous breach of trust.
Honestly, if I had a fwb situation.
And had a super stressful event happen.
And went to that friend for EMOTIONAL support.
I would never talk to him again if he tried to initiate sex in that situation without me doing the first steps.
It's just not a good look at all.
If I can't trust you in my most vulnerable times..... Can I trust you at all?
Same applies to my romantic partner.
If he tried to get me to satisfy him while I'm going through a bad time, he would not like my reaction.
I'm very forgiving in majority of cases.
But obvious breaches of trust and being used are the 2 things I can't easily forgive.
| 8 | 6.625 | |
1664094228 | 1664186656 | t3_xnhkdz | t5_2to41 | 36 | Suspicious-Law-: TIFU by masturbating in my hotel room
I (25M) was interrogating my friend (26M) after watching him walk away in an angered expression while I was dancing with a woman in a nightclub.
I excused myself after not seeing him for a while. I then proceeded to look for him, fucking asking if they saw him to practically everyone in sight, in random stores and in the club itself. I couldn't find him, so I came back.
When he eventually enters the hotel lobby, he told me that it's about the woman. When we got back in the room, I interrogated him but he wouldn't say shit. So he went to the bathroom then I could hear these whimpers and moans and fuck, I start getting hard and imagining I was with him in there.
I was so disgusted with myself. So I got back to my room and I was so fucking horny that I couldn't even go to my bed and so I jerked off with my back against the wall and it was so good and I was so close when I heard the door creak open and my friend walks in.
He got surprised and slams the door and I came all over my hand. I don't know what to say to him now. Any advice?
TL;DR : My friend caught me masturbating and I don't know what to say to him
AcrobaticSource3: > I then proceeded to look for him
Yeah, this is where I stop believing this story from a 5 day old account. You didn’t try calling him? We’re in 2022, not 1922.
Anyway, in the unlikely event that this story is true, next time, you take the woman and fuck her good and long until you cum. Depending on your refractory period, you would be able to get hard for a bit, so you won’t be able to masturbate in hotel room in front of your friend
Useful_Experience423: Also, who can just walk into another person’s hotel room?
Xper1men7al: They were sharing a room. “When we got back… he went in the bathroom” cmon. 🤦♂️ the real problem here is 1. Idk why but OP seems to be hiding his sexuality from his friend so idk how good their friendship can be… and for all we know his friend likes him too and thats why he got mad when he danced with a girl. But what do i know. Im just an idiot
Useful_Experience423: Then I honestly don’t get the embarrassment. So they both got caught? So what?
| 5 | 7.2 | |
1664106234 | 1664162739 | t3_xnl3br | t5_2to41 | 14,553 | thekeeech: TIFU by answering my wife's call on loudspeaker
Obligatory "this wasn't today" start. It was actually a fee weeks ago now.
I am a father to 3 kids and a husband to 1 wife. Me and my wife have a young daughter of 3 and I have two boys of 13 and 11 from a previous relationship.
Me and my wife have been together for 9 years now and our "bedroom relationship" is as strong as the first day we started dating so I'm quite lucky in that respect i think. We often like to dirty talk in the bedroom and are quite adventurous but we don't talk about sex or anything like that when the kids are around for obvious reasons.
Anyway, one night I had picked up the boys from DnD that they participate in once a week. Me and my wife had been discussing a redecoration we'd be doing that weekend and she said she would investigate some stuff and call me later if she finds anything while im out and to discuss what we'd eat that night.
So my phone rings while I'm driving all three kids home and because we have a new model of car that has CarPlay I can just answer the phone over the speakers.
I don't think my wife realised I was driving back as she started discussing food for the evening and then asked what i wanted to do tonight. I said hmm not sure what do you fancy and before I knew what was happening she blurted out "I want you to fuckin rail me once the kids are in bed".
Guys I must have gone white as a fuckin sheet and I've never hung up a phonecall faster in my life. She didn't call me back so I knew she'd realised what had happened. All I heard from behind me were the exaggerated screams of my two mortified sons as they tried to process what they just heard.
I got home from a largely tense car ride and gave my wife the look of shame that she immediately returned to me and my boys rushed upstairs without a word.
We had to have a very awkward conversation with them after that and needless to say I did "absolutely fucking rail" her that evening or any evening until they returned to their mother's house.
TL;DR My wife spoke about her sexual desires on the phone and didn't realise she was on speaker in a car full of kids
EDIT: A lot of people were confused by the "1 wife" comment. It just sounded funny to me after I said 3 kids. It's not that deep guys haha
UPDATE for those asking: Me and my ex don't get along well at all, she's not very pleasant woman in my opinion. BUT there have beennko repercussions as not yet so I'm hoping my boys have decided to keep it to themselves haha
cognitivetriad: This is one reason I tell people they are on speakerphone before the discussion starts. Also, if someone isn't already on speakerphone, I ask if it's ok first. I learned the hard way 🤐
dogmanatemybaby: Yep, had to explain what a “spank bank” was just last week because I didn’t get the heads-up.
melodyrn: Can you explain here?
StarGirl696: A collection of good porn for when u want to jerk off.
selfcontortion: I always thought it specifically meant mental images that you think of when masturbating.
nullstring: Depends on context. Some people can't get it off based on mental images (anymore). But they will save images or videos they come across for further use. This is also a spank bank.
Vosz_: Everything is a spank bank if you try hard enough
OtherNameFullOfPorn: Paige, no.
| 9 | 1,617 |
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