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1664089990 | 1664262108 | t3_xngd7p | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by forming a relationship with my mum's husband.
[deleted]
opschief0299: It's a distinct possibility your mum knows something in your past that happened to you that you don't remember.
Fayde_Artemis1999: Hmmm. I'm always open to looking at different perspectives as I'm too much in my head. Thank you
opschief0299: You know, that was very wise of you to say. I guess what I was getting at was maybe what happened totally triggered something in her? And it might be something completely valid, because what a mother with a healthy mindset wants more than anything is for her children to be okay. Might be worth investigating between you two in a chill environment...
Fayde_Artemis1999: My experiences from the father figures were abandonment and being ignored. Thank you again
opschief0299: I'm so sorry. Men today don't understand their importance to a daughter. They say that a little boy learns his tenderness from his mother, and a little girl learns her self-worth from her father. As a society we have totally jacked up the parenting roles and ignored how they can benefit children. Just call me old fashioned I guess
Fayde_Artemis1999: No, I have been told that my past experiences have affected me apparently, but I always begged to differ
| 7 | 4 | |
1664144319 | 1664144912 | t3_xo0uyj | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: For having naturally curly hair even though I'm Chinese.
[removed]
NotOnTheRun666: As someone from East Asia with naturally curly hair and a BF with even curlier hair and also East Asian, I wonder where she got her information from.
WildHetero: Possibly Wikipedia
NotOnTheRun666: 
| 4 | 1 | |
1664171358 | 1664212916 | t3_xoalfm | t5_2to41 | 38,864 | Amazing_Talk_112: TIFU by accidently hooking up with my former youth pastor.
This actually happened about a month ago, but I needed to recover mentally first.
I (24) temporarily moved back home for summer after graduating college.
One night I was bored and I went on tinder, I matched with an older guy, (37) but he was pretty good looking and we actually got along well, next day we decide to meet up. I felt like I recognized him from somewhere but it's a fairly small town so I didn't think much of it.
We meet up at a local bar, and well, one thing led to another and we ended up having sex in the back of his car. I was leaving the next week so I didn't really care what happened.
Next day is the only Sunday my mom has had off since ive been there, and she wants us all to go to church.
Guess who's doing the sermon that day? He immediately recognized me, and we make awkward eye contact for a second.
Then it hits me..
He. Was. My. Youth. Pastor.
I hadn't seen him in almost a decade.
I have no idea if he knew who I was right away or not, and I'd rather not know. I left in a hurry after the service.
Oh and I found out later he was married. So there's that.
TL;DR I was bored and went on tinder. I matched to an older guy and we hooked up. Found out the next day he was my old youth pastor.
BlondeBobaFett: This pastor in a small town is tindering with his face in photos 👀
datDANKie: pastor in small town has a tinder account with his face on it.
so everyone in that town who has tinder sees this married guys face.. ok....
pissingstars: That’s where I think this post is bs.
No way a small town guy in his position is playing it that stupid and loose.
liberal_parnell: I think you're giving small-town pastors WAAY too much credit. I live in a small town full of great god-fearing husbands, and their girlfriends.
Carnificus: Sure, but you're telling me church gossip isn't immediately putting this guy in its crosshairs? In a small town that's gonna make the rounds quick
AceMosaic: Bad gas travels fast in a small town
thegreatdune: Well I wouldn't want to tell tales out of school.
ReverseCheezel: I'm not one to kiss and tell.
ColonelBelmont: Did she gives attentions to your buttshole?
UndeadJoker69420: I have no idea what was happening but this comment was my favorite
ColonelBelmont: Here you go... https://youtu.be/Q47Uq96lILA
UndeadJoker69420: Welp now I have to binge the whole show
Horton_Takes_A_Poo: It’s a journey. The skids put a lot of people off of the show especially in the earlier seasons, so if you don’t like their scenes don’t judge the whole show by them because everything else makes up for it. Personally I just skipped a lot of their scenes in the early seasons because it can be over the top compared to the rest of the groups of characters. The skid characters are much better written in the later seasons though so stick with it.
Also make sure to watch the spinoff Shoresy that came out this year. It’s a different style but just as hilarious and *great* for hockey fans.
My3rstAccount: Sweet, a spinoff
| 15 | 2,590.933333 | |
1664206159 | 1664223041 | t3_xomj10 | t5_2to41 | 17 | InfiniteCalendar1: TIFU by bringing a dab pen to a concert venue
To preface: this happened on Saturday night.
I went to DC with some friends to see Zedd, this was my first EDM concert and I had never been to this venue. Days prior to the concert I was looking info on what to expect at this venue, and their website didn’t have a list of what you can and can’t bring. I saw some people saying they were able to bring in vapes, so I thought I could get away with bringing in my dab pen as weed is legal in DC as well.
I did hit my pen a few times while waiting to get in, and I tried to hide it deep in my bag under my wallet, my dumbass really thought they wouldn’t look that far. When I had my bag searched I was told I couldn’t bring in the cart but I could keep the battery, so I either had to throw it or take it back to my car. However, I took the metro because driving in DC is scary so I had to throw it. I got that cart last Thursday so I had barely used it, $30 down the drain right there.
During the concert I definitely smelled weed so I assume some people were more successful in sneaking that stuff in, and my friends were telling me I should’ve hid it in my shoe. Now I know if I ever go to this venue in the future that I can’t just bring my pen. I was honestly being a dumbass. But at least I still have the battery component so I’ll just get a new cart.
TL;DR I brought my dab pen to a concert venue in dc thinking I could get away with it as weed is legal there, only to have to throw away my new cart. $30 down the drain.
Lined_the_Street: This always amazes me. I must be a master at sneaking shit in or something cause I've never been searched. I was asked once to turn out my pockets (the pants had seven different pockets lol) but it didn't matter. If it fits in my shoe/boot, there's where it goes.
InfiniteCalendar1: I’m more surprised you’ve never been searched
SugaredCereal: They don't search shoes. Just went to a venue with friends, they put it in their shoe.
InfiniteCalendar1: Yeah I realized that’s what I should’ve done as I mentioned in my post
SugaredCereal: I'm with you, I wouldn't have known about shoes if I didn't see someone do it in front of me. 😂
| 6 | 2.833333 | |
1664221448 | 1664389430 | t3_xotkds | t5_2to41 | 108 | EmptyAlarm3894: TIFU by giving my classmate number to a stranger
Sorry if there are any misspellings, English isn't my first language.
Hi! I know that the title might sound horrible but hear me out. Me(15M) gave a classmate(15F) number to a stranger to a stranger, well not actually a stranger, he is from our school in the 10th or 11th grade.
Today after class ended we headed for the park near our highschool, I exited the school the last because I was going to the bathroom. After I exited the school I was trying to catch up whit my friends but they were way too ahead and I didn't want to run because I have a leg issue. On my way to the park some dudes (they were 3) stopped me and asked if I know a girl from my group, I responded yes, she is from my class and they seemed happy. they got me to a retrieved corner and asked me for her number and nane, when I was trying to cut off the conversation they got me by the back of my head in a way that I couldn't run, but in a somehow friendly way and asked again the same thing. I got scared because in the past I got beaten up by some guys and needed hospital care. I gave them her number and name(like an idiot) and then made my way to the park. When I arrived there I saw my friends and made my way to them, but when I looked behinde I saw that 3 dudes looking at me in a kinda scarry way. I made my way home and texted one of them that I got to go home. When I reached my destination by classmates blew my phone up whit texts asking me why I've did that, saying that "they could get harmed by them, kidnapped" and some other bad things. I respond to them saying "that 3 guys weren't friendly at all and a bit aggressive", they say that I am a asshole for doing that and a duck for leaving.
What should I do?
TL;DR: I gave a classmate number to a stranger from our school and my friends blew up at me calling me an asshole.
Edit: she is cool whit it but still a little upset. I explained to her that I got beaten up before and she understood me. Type for all the comments.
mental_mchaggis: Never give out a number that doesn't belong to you or without permission! Learn your lesson from this please and if your friends don't talk to you again deal with it, this was a dick move my friend.
Popbobby1: Yep. Next time, just get shanked, cause your safety doesn't matter.
mental_mchaggis: Guess her safety doesn't matter either then, he didn't know what would happen to her but hey as long as your OK that don't matter. Complete idiot!
Popbobby1: No, but don't put yourself in danger to protect others. Being a vigilante is stupid, not commendable.
mental_mchaggis: So potentially put someone else in danger just so your ok? No thanks wouldn't survive 2 days with myself if I was that pathetic guy!
Popbobby1: r/iamverybadass
mental_mchaggis: Is there one for pathetic little bitches like you? I can't fathom the fact that you think like that 🤣🤣 Must've been brought up wrapped in bubble wrap 🤣🤣.
It's not acting tough fella, the fact you'd be willing to put someone else in potential danger tells me all I need to know about you! Just another snowflake who's ran away from confrontation your whole life...PATHETIC!!!
| 8 | 13.5 | |
1664225154 | 1664279777 | t3_xovall | t5_2to41 | 33,069 | hiti72: TIFU by telling me zookeeper girlfriend (22f) not to worry so much about her hygiene...
I (25M) have been dating this woman for a few months now, and honestly we get along really well.
About a month ago, I met her for dinner one night at a semi-fancy restaurant around 6pm. She arrived a little bit late, and was really apologetic saying "Oh gosh sorry, I probably smell so funky right now, I tried by best to wash and scrub but I know it wasn't enough."
She **was** pretty stinky. She works as an animal caretaker at the zoo and had to stay late that night, so I understood. That night was the first night I really noticed her stinking of animals.
It was strong at the same table (something between old fish and a ferret cage, yuck) and rather unappetizing, but not the sort of thing you could smell across the room, so I saw no reason it should ruin the dinner.
So I tried to reassure her and said "aw no you don't." She said "Oh don't lie, there's no way I smell ok right now."
So I said "I mean I guess there's a slight smell, but it just shows you worked hard...I've never been one of those weak-stomached guys who's going to complain about that, I really don't mind, honest, I'm used to animal smells anyway."
To my surprise her eyes lit up and she said "Wow, really, you're serious? That's so reassuring to hear," and starting opening up about how hard it was to make sure she always smelled good. That she'd often have to scrub for half an hour after work to even be somewhat presentable and sometimes even that wasn't enough, changes of clothes and boots, that she had to sometimes pick which days to schedule dates with me or run errands based around her off-days, or which animals she'd be working with that day, to make sure the stink wasn't too bad...
I said "wow, I had no idea it was that tough." I asked how other keepers dealt with it and she said most were single or dated within the profession and it was rare to find someone like me who genuinely didn't mind! So I reassured her that yeah, she doesn't need to be overly concerned about that with me. I could tell it meant a lot to her.
But I think this turned out to be a big mistake...
Over the past month, we've seen each other more often, and she's usually smelled okay, but there have been 4 or 5 occasions where she's smelled horrible. 10-20x worse than that night in the restaurant. These have been house dates and not at restaurants/etc. I have to breathe lightly to even try to stomach it, and it really kills my mood and leaves my house reeking.
tl;dr Told my girlfriend she didn't have to worry about her smell so much, she took it as a major green flag due to her line of work, now I either have to really let her down or resign myself to living in olfactory hell
tithica_h: As a zookeeper myself, I think this will be something you want to think about when it comes to the long-term future of your relationship?
I never had any success dating outside the profession, and this was one reason why. Right now, she can pick and choose when to see you and center it around when she smells ok.
When you're living together though? There are going to be days when she stinks like hell. Probably much worse than anything you've experienced so far.
We get the same talk from zoo guests all the time. Warning them about the strong smell at some places in a behind-the-scenes tour, and they go "pfff, no problem." Turns out it usually **is** a problem.
Will you be willing to deal with that? That are certainly some days where my husband doesn't want to be around me after work, but at least he's used to gross smells as a animal keeper himself, and understands it as a fact of life.
A_lmir: Why isn't a shower able to get rid of the smell?
Genuinely curious as I've never worked as a Zoo keeper.
Sweetnsaltyxx: I heard somewhere that the heavy, unpleasant smells are oil-based so they stick around longer. As such, they're harder to clean.
DonkeyOfWallStreet: The worst part is it's in your nose so as you clean you can't tell if you smell any better or not.
Sweetnsaltyxx: Idk which is worse: going nose-blind or having the stench in your nostrils 24/7.
pnwWaiter: Partially trying to just high jack the top thread;
Year back when I got pepper sprayed, I was told baby shampoo was formulated really to break down the oils - wouldn't that be able to help?
AgentInCommand: I bet Dawn dish soap works wonders too, but no one is showering with dish soap
Luke_canna: Mechanic checking in, can confirm dawn dish soap is the tits in the shower for breaking down oil and grease and smells. I’ve been doing it for years, as have many others in this trade tho that doesn’t make it good
Steezywild12: Zookeepers would have to shower with dawn every day & probably use over their entire body, thatd prob do a number on your skin’s natural oils
Luke_canna: Dawn IS my body wash……. I use it everyday
Steezywild12: Hahaha do you have any acne or super dry skin?
Luke_canna: One question, little bit of acne or smell like literal shit all the time?
Steezywild12: I’m not arguing that it’s not better than the alternative, just wanted to know the effects of dish soap on skin daily
🫡you keep this country rollin do whatever you need to do big dawg all respect
Luke_canna: Haha yea I moisturize after I shower so I have a bit of acne but soft skin but like the other guy said I don’t know if mechanics are the best example we clean our arms with harsh chemicals daily lol
Sagemasterba: I use orange Gojo, or the the green Lava bar I steal from work (unopened) . On weekends its the 37 in 1 from the dollar store cool blue whatever. My wife has gone nose blind to my refinery / chem plant work clothes, tho we use seperate hampers and never wash my clothes at home. So I smell orange and cool whatever, you know the blue deodorant every brand has.
My skin is super soft. It all has moisturizer in it and pumice.
CringeCoyote: Orange Gojo is the best, it feels so good on your skin too.
| 17 | 1,945.235294 | |
1664241950 | 1664326312 | t3_xp2dk0 | t5_2to41 | 6,305 | FancyWarMan: TIFU by accidentally introducing my neighbours’ 7-year-old daughter to Cradle of Filth
First of all, for the younger users among us or anyone who may not be familiar with Cradle of Filth, they’re an extreme metal band who were popular in the 1990s among certain sects of the metal community.
Now, let me set the scene. This afternoon I was settling down in my flat here in Swindon, England after a long and exhausting morning spent helping my brother with some painting and decorating at his new house. I decided to put on one of my favourite albums of all time which happens to be by Cradle of Filth. Not feeling like wearing headphones, I decided to instead connect my phone to my bluetooth speaker. With bluetooth successfully connected, I went to Spotify and put on the album.
The opening track, a particularly brutal composition of dark, growling, scary, good old fashioned extreme metal, began to play. “Strange” I thought… I noticed the sound seemed to be particularly quiet and muffled in spite of my speaker being turned all the way up. So I ramped the volume on my phone all the way up to maximum, and finally the music was of reasonable volume. Still pretty muffled though, so I began to suspect my speaker was starting to wear out and in need of replacement.
I laid back on my sofa and cracked open a drink. I was knackered from my busy morning and in dire need of some rest.
About two minutes or so into the song, it suddenly cut out and I heard a loud wailing coming from my next door neighbours’ flat, followed by “MUMMY! DADDY!“ and some panicked cries. Worried, I put my ear to the wall to try to hear what was going on, and although I couldn’t make out every word, I heard the little girl telling her parents that some “scary noises“ suddenly started coming out of her speaker and that she couldn’t turn it off. My heart immediately sank as I realised what had happened. Turns out when connecting my phone to bluetooth I hadn’t selected my speaker at all, but somehow accidentally connected to the speaker belonging to my neighbours’ sweet, innocent seven-year-old daughter.
The crying and wailing continued for a good twenty minutes afterwards, as her parents desperately tried to console her. Eventually, by the sounds of it, they were successful in doing so.
Am I going to go next door to explain and apologise? Maybe someday. But that day certainly isn’t today. Today will be dedicated to digging myself a hole in which to hide in shame for the next ten years.
If anyone‘s curious as to what the offending song was, here it is: [https://youtu.be/9nKuXPDtlLU](https://youtu.be/9nKuXPDtlLU) Now just imagine this song suddenly and completely unexpectedly blasting out in a seven-year-old girl‘s bedroom at an almost deafening volume. Oh man, I’m never living this one down.
TL;DR: I accidentally connected to my neighbours‘ bluetooth speaker instead of my own, and scared the life out of their seven-year-old daughter with an extreme metal song.
Volistar: Lmao 'a certain sect of the metal community'
Just admit you like vampires bro no one is gonna judge ya.
Edit: lmao I'm glad 500 other people had the same laugh I did!
Aganihm1: That made me chuckle, I knew somebody who always had CDs of Black Sabbath, Judas Priest and Cradle of Filth lying around in her car. She was most definitely part of the metal community, but at the same time a devout Jehovah's Witness. Does that count as well? 😋
BadeArse: I seem to remember Cradle of Filth had a song called Jesus is a cunt. Wow.
pukingpixels: You think that’s bad, check out Anal Cunt, with such hits as I’m Gonna Give You AIDS, Pottery Is Gay and Hitler Was A Sensitive Man.
ActualMassExtinction: Don't forget the Dayglo Abortions, with such hits as _Argh Fuck Kill, Dogfarts,_ and _Sit on my Face and Bleed_.
pukingpixels: Also good. I’m an audio engineer, years ago I recorded an indie metal band called Bathed In Blood. Can’t remember all their song titles but the ones that stick out are The Fetus Will Eat Us and Uncle Daddy And The Family Secret.
slabrangoon: Don’t forget Cannibal Corpse with ‘I cum blood’
ZeePirate: Fucked with a knife
Entrails ripped from a virgins cunt
Stripped, raped, and strangled
Addicted to vanginal skin
The guys sure had a way with words…
Periachi: Necropedophile
Frantic Disembowlment
Etc.
Gotta love Cannibal Corpse.
ZeePirate: Some of them are decent songs too lol
Periachi: They are. Cannibal Corpse is unironically a good band.
ZeePirate: I’ve yet to find a real heavy death metal band that has a perfect album. Like some earlier thrash and “light” heavy metal
A lot of there stuff is filler like other bands did. Instead of perfecting an album. Likely sponsorship pressures
But overall a good list of songs
Periachi: Not sure if they fit your criteria, but Death. Sound Of Perseverance baby.
ZeePirate: It’s not perfection to me.
It’s great but I can skip a few of the songs.
Periachi: Understandable. No worries man!
| 16 | 394.0625 | |
1664296130 | 1664305914 | t3_xplgh3 | t5_2to41 | 43 | gatlinsgunner: TIFU
[removed]
Drgnmstr97: Sadly you are not going to be happy until you figure out how to end your cheating ways with John. Your relationship with your BF will end because, well you are a toxic individual that is going to destroy him. John isn't going to make you happy because he is a toxic individual that cheats on his partners.
If you would like to figure out to get some long lasting happiness in your life, never contact John again, break up with your boyfriend and get into therapy. Figure out why you are such a toxic person and see if you can fix that. As you destroy more and more of your soul by cheating on your partner you become someone that cannot find happiness. It's not really that elusive but some people have a difficult time getting to the point that they can be a safe partner to be with. You are currently not.
gatlinsgunner: I know that once is too much but i only technically cheated with John once and the first time i saw John again after 4 years, i was single. This really did destroy my soul. I’m my own worst enemy, I feel so bad for my boyfriend and i really want to tell him. I’m sorry…
Drgnmstr97: "I only technically", wow. You know what you did and have done. Technicalities only matter in games and computer programming. You know exactly how you have broken relationship rules over the years. And don't think because you were not in a relationship at the time John was that YOU were not cheating because you know what you were doing was wrong.
If you want to be a better person then make better choices. Continuing to make these choices is going to make you someone you would rather not be.
gatlinsgunner: I’m going to. I’m sorry, i get hung up on details but i know it is not okay at all and that i fucked up and it’s only dawning on me now that 2 years ago it was in fact cheating despite being broken up. I really am thankful for your advice.
| 5 | 8.6 | |
1664296504 | 1664418151 | t3_xplmgj | t5_2to41 | 80 | FoxyBamboozler93: TIFU by spending all of our money by accident
So, for reference my partner F27 and I NB29 are on income assistance aka welfare because both of us have bad mental health and can't work because of it. I have severe depression coupled with anxiety and my partner has extreme social anxiety. So neither of us is able to work.
To make things easier, we get our monthly benefits split into two cheques; one at the end of the month (usually just over $200) and the other around the middle of the month (around $175) the remainder of our benefits gets paid into our rent for us.
My fuck up happened just this morning. I'm already exhausted and not doing well.
So, basically, we got our welfare in the bank via direct deposit and so I decided "Ok, I'll pay some of what I owe into my phone bill since its behind and I kinda need it." Harmless. I normally pay into our hydro and our phone bill before we go get groceries.
In hindsight, I really shouldn't have done this upon first waking up but I've done this in the past and nothing has come of it. Anyway, I digress.
I decided to pay through my phone provider's app. Then, I THOUGHT I put an amount of $50 to pay, and then at the end of the process of verifying my payment info and on the checkout page when it was done - mind you, it didn't give me a review page where it should have been like "Hey! Are you sure you want to pay this amount? Does everything look correct?" NO! IT JUST WENT THROUGH AND SAID "Thank you for paying $215.18"
NOW I'm awake upon seeing that amount. I HAD JUST ACCIDENTALLY PAYED THE ENTIRE OWING AMOUNT THAT I WAS GOING TO PAY OFF WITH A COMBINATION OF GST AND CARBON TAX AND NOW ALL OF OUR GROCERY MONEY IS GONE!!!
I did the smart thing and went to the customer service chat to see if I could fix it.
I made my point and let them chat rep know that it was important and that it was food money. (I understand it's my problem not theirs as to any reason why I need money back)
He said he understood and he really wanted to help. We went through the chat process and he even talked to his supervisor apparently.
In the end of it all, he said there was nothing he could do because I paid what was owed and there was no actual credit on the account. He couldn't just refund what I paid so I could pay my intended amount and be on my way.
Nope!! So, I'm obviously flabbergasted and trying to come up with something to say to try and work something out.
I guess I took too long BECAUSE HE LEFT THE CHAT AND THAT WAS THE END OF IT!!!
SO NOW IM HERE HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK BECAUSE I FUCKED UP AND I CANT FIX IT!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO AND I CANT STRESS ENOUGH THAT I HATE MY PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER!!
I also called the bank a little bit after to see if they could do anything but since I didn't pay through my banking app itself they can't fix it either.
So, that's it. I've fucked us.
Luckily, my partner has been SUPER understanding and super gentle with me. I'm so lucky to have her. This experience has toyed with my suicidal thoughts and my partner has been helping me calm down all morning.
TL;DR I spent all of our grocery money on one bill when I only meant to pay some of it for now and now we have no money for food.
yayayubsea: You will be okay. Especially since your partner is being supportive. But why can't you guys work?
FoxyBamboozler93: It's because of our mental states. Her social anxiety is too bad to handle many of the available jobs in the job market. She's afraid of a lot of things happening and it's dibilitating.
As for myself, I've found that my depression and anxiety are so severe I can't handle being in a work place or dealing with people. I suspect it's from my upbringing by my mentally and emotionally abusive family. I've only been no contact with them for a couple years now, so I've still got a long way to go.
We both were on treatment, but our dr cut us off our medications a few months ago and we just haven't been able to go in for stupid reasons.
nobervu: Trying really hard not to victim blame, but you don't work or otherwise have responsibilities and you can't find time to go into the doctor at all? Stupid reasons prevent you from going? Am I misunderstanding?
I also don't know why you hate the phone company. You were behind on payment and paid to get it to I'm assuming a neutral balance. I don't know any company that would refund money so someone could once again go to a negative balance, even if the payment was on accident.
FoxyBamboozler93: For our dr, the issue is that we missed two consecutive appointments because once we were running late and missed the bus that would take us to where our dr is, and that day the buses were slow and there wasn't going to be another one in time to get us there. Unfortunately, we also didn't know anyone who could give us a ride there.
The second time, something came up at the last second and they wouldn't let me reschedule. And the policy at this clinic is that if a patient misses two consecutive appointments they have to pay a fee of $50 before they can make another one.
As for the phone company, I've just had bad experiences with them before, is all. Nothing major though, just things that were minor that combine into annoyances.
Apologies if this all sounds like excuses and excuses, but I literally don't know how else to explain myself.
nobervu: It's your life and you do you, but those do sound like excuses. Unless if something was life or death (or close to it), there seems to be no reason to continuously postpone your doctor visits.
1. Running late? That sounds like a personal problem and bad schedule management. Unless there's something you're leaving out of your work-free schedule, there should never be a reason to run late outside of a health reason.
2. What could come up that's so important you have to cancel your appointment (you don't have to answer, I just can't think of a good reason why you would after you had already missed previous appointments)?
3. So you're saying you CAN make another appointment, you just don't want to take responsibility for the 50 dollar fee since through nobodies fault but your own, you missed two appointments with little to no notice.
I was moderately sympathetic from your first post, but this one just made it sound way worse.
laplongejr: > So you're saying you CAN make another appointment, you just don't want to take responsibility for the 50 dollar fee
I took it as OP *doesn't have the money to pay for the 50$ fee* if they can't even afford food and were running late in bills.
nobervu: But again, this is all self inflicted. Be irresponsible, suffer the consequences.
Throwaway1588442: Poverty begets poverty
| 9 | 8.888889 | |
1664307126 | 1664335629 | t3_xpq9qb | t5_2to41 | -3 | ForkyOutlet: TIFU by almost locking my car keys in my trunk
[removed]
Ok-Bowl6780: fullstops weren't invented yet huh?
ForkyOutlet: bro cry about it, it's litteraly first post Idc about punctuation
sdave001: Or spelling. Or grammar. Or reality.
ForkyOutlet: why does it matter so much on reddit
sdave001: Because Reddit is for grownups. Perhaps you should stick to Minecraft.
| 6 | -0.5 | |
1664364900 | 1664365560 | t3_xqa9n4 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by realizing I found a technique to masturbate without a boner at the age of 6
[deleted]
Cakepopface: Sorry, I neither have a wiener nor do I know how kids wieners work, but... How does that work? What did you do? Did you just touch it and it felt good? Wouldn't anyone say something if you'd touch your penis in front of everyone?
BreadSimulator: I have a weiner and can also recognize when
A weiner-haver is posting shit to get attention in order to make the weiner hard, which is what OP is currently doing.
Cakepopface: Aaaand the post is gone
BreadSimulator: Lol, I rest my case
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1664383332 | 1664387210 | t3_xqhmi7 | t5_2to41 | 2,506 | throwawayscuteanimal: TIFU by being weird on surveillance cameras
[removed]
discustedkiller: Its fine no one was watching it. But i got to ask why did you think it a good idea to sit on a pencil sharpener?
jadegives2rides: The vibrations baby
discustedkiller: oh ok ,wait holdup what
aziruthedark: Yeah, I assume it's one of them new ones, powered by that new fangled batteries.
LifeIsProbablyMadeUp: You mean it uses that e-lick-tricity?
FrenchBangerer: Yes, there's a company called "The Electric Lighting Company" and they say that soon we may extinguish our gas lamps once and for all.
Sounds like utter madness to me but what do I know about such recent developments and matters?
*Installed electric lighting to my house just after commenting. Took more than 2 mins.
SpacePolice04: Hey You Guys!!
Agondonter: Props for generational humor!
| 9 | 278.444444 | |
1664425749 | 1664497173 | t3_xqy87f | t5_2to41 | 247 | [deleted]: TIFU By trying to look for forgiveness and fix the past.
Some backstory so you can understand. I dated a girl (let’s call her “J”)a long time ago , me and J were a long distance relationship, long story short it didn’t last , after we broke up , I treated her very badly and I’m ashamed of things I made her do. It’s always in the back in my mind what I’ve done to her even to this day I was horrible person.
I’m currently with the girl of my dreams(let’s call her “Z” ) me and Z have been dating for 5 years , we even have a kid, a baby girl. Words can’t describe how much this little girl means to me. Having a girl made me realize what I did to J was truthfully awful and not okay what’s so ever, I kept thinking what If someone did the things I did to J, to my little girl. It made me feel guilty beyond I can describe.
Ever since then, I’ve been trying to say sorry and seek forgiveness to J, but she kept blocking me whenever I tried to talk about it. and I completely understand why. But in the back of mind was always that guilt.
Fast forward some more, couple of days ago, I was on some nsfw subs because reasons. I came across this post that mentioned J’s username. If anyone had her nudes. This made me feel some way, I’ll say this right now(it’ll be important later ) I still have feelings for J but as someone who just cares about her well-being and not in the romantic way whatsoever. I have my life and she has her life now I don’t want to ruin what I have. Anyways, I just wanted to tell her what I saw because if that was me I would like it if someone told me, and if possibly apologize for my actions.
I told j what I saw since she had me unblocked and she told me she knew about it and thanking me for letting her know. Then I asked if we can talk, she asked about what , I told her I want to apologize for what I’ve done to her and how her life was going. She told me fine and she’s been dating some guy for couple years or something, I was generally happy for her. She asked why I wanted to say sorry because that was 6 years ago since we broke up and I did those things to her. I told her it’s always in the back my mind and guilt was terrible.
I told her I cared for her but like this “I still have feelings for you “ , but I didn’t say what kind of feelings, that’s my fault honestly but I thought it was pretty clear. Those “feelings” , I meant were friend feelings, honestly. And 100% don’t want to do anything with her, I just wanted us to be okay. I was seeking forgiveness so I could just move on and not have that guilt back in mind anymore.
That night I texted her, I fell asleep and Z worked late that day, she came home , and she went through my phone (she said she had a bad feeling), she knows my passwords because I have nothing to hide. She’s beyond more then enough for me, she’s my best friend, I only want her and nobody else. Z’s honestly the best girlfriend and the best mother she can be to our little girl. I’m grateful she stuck with me so far. She saw my messages with J , like i said I only sent her “ I still have feelings for her “ but not those feelings, and she saw that. Z thought I was trying to cheat with her with J but that’s from the truth. This guilt has been killing me for the so long.
Now we’re in the biggest fight in our relationship. Idk what to do, I don’t want to lose my best friend. I feel so awful. I’m being honest when I say I just wanted me and J to be okay that’s it , be bygones be bygones. I didn’t want to pursue anything with her. J has her life and I have my life. I didn’t mention Z or my little girl , to J. I didn’t have enough time to tell her (she had to stop texting me at 10 for some shit idk) and I was gonna build up to it. I really don’t want to lose my best friend. I don’t wanna lose my family. I just wanted this guilt gone. If anyone has any advice that would be helpful. Please and thank u.
Tl;dr: I told my ex that had feelings for her but didn’t mean those feelings and now my girlfriend and mines relationship is on thin ice.
GothicGingerbread: How can you possibly not realize that absolutely no one, upon seeing "I still have feelings for you", would assume you meant simply that you care about her welfare?
TheShroudedWanderer: I feel like this post is to just cover his arse if his partner looks through his phone again
SecretAgentBoobz: That’s 100% exactly what this is. Its fucking manipulative and gross.
He decides to demand validation from this girl about his guilt, despite her communicating very clearly she wants no contact from him via repeated blockings and no responses. Then he trojan horses his way back into her life and tells her he still has feelings for her?!!?
He has a long term relationship with someone else, AND A DAUGHTER with that person. WTF
collegeblunderthrowa: > He decides to demand validation from this girl about his guilt, despite her communicating very clearly she wants no contact from him via repeated blockings and no responses.
Yep. I was seeing red flags long before the "feelings" part because of this. Someone doesn't want to talk to you, *move on*. This is ESPECIALLY true if it's someone you wronged. Take the message and move on. If you don't, all you're really saying is that your apology is about YOU, not the other person.
There's someone I wronged when I was younger. It's been over 30 years, I still carry some guilt. I left them a message once to open the door, many years ago, when I first started truly growing up. They didn't respond, and that's fine. They owed me nothing. I moved on.
I know they now live a happy and fulfilled life, and I'm glad for that. **I** may still feel guilty, but if I tried to tell them that now, who would I really be doing it for, them or myself?
Wouldn't hearing from someone you didn't want to hear from just bring it all back again? Sure seems selfish to do that, unless they invite it.
If I truly wanted them to be happy, I'd leave them alone. And that's what I've done. I have a good life. There's no sense in complicating mine or theirs just so I can feel a little relief.
OP doesn't care about this J. OP cares about *himself*. It's clear as day.
And yes, this post is purely about covering his tracks.
| 5 | 49.4 | |
1664462220 | 1664498222 | t3_xr9hey | t5_2to41 | 48,073 | WeFuckBackHard: TIFU by accidentally teaching my roommate's parrot to sing CBAT. My roommate doesn't know yet.
**Bird audio hyperlinked at the very end**
I am so dead. My roommate is out of town camping until the end of the weekend and he's going to kill me when he finds out.
Ok, so we all know the story with [CBAT](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/x35iu6/tifu_my_20f_girlfriend_of_two_years_told_me_the/), no need to go into that. My roommate is out of town for a week, and I have the whole apartment to myself. Four days ago, I (29m) asked my gf (29f) if she would like to enjoy some delicious fun time while blasting CBAT. Her and I are both super weird, and are open to doing this kind of dumb stuff. To no surprise, she laughed and said yes. I just thought it would be funny to experience. To my surprise, it really wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. It might be that the love I have for her is so powerful, that it left only about 5% of my brain power focusing on the dolphin sounds in the background.
The next day we decided to go at it again, only this time CBAT was a surprise for her. After a few minutes of kissing, I turned on the music and we both started laughing hysterically before getting it on. I even lasted longer than the day before, which I now regret.
Here's the problem which I stupidly did not even take a second to consider. While my roommate is out of town, I'm taking care of his parrot who dwells in our living room, which shares a very thin door with my bedroom. This is no ordinary parrot. This is a chattering lory (same bird as that red one on youtube who goes "wuewuewue"). This bird does not shut up. He makes so much noise that I've naturally learned to ignore him after a year of living with it.
Anyway, somehow it never even crossed my mind that these parrots learn words and sounds and mimic them surprisingly accurately. Before leaving for work yesterday morning, I made some coffee and sat down in the living room for a bit just relaxing and closing my eyes. All of a sudden, I hear the first few notes of CBAT in perfect pitch and rhythm. I opened my eyes and this little dude is staring me dead in the face. 5-10 seconds pass, and I hear it again. I just grabbed my things and left for work immediately. I had to escape, figuring I'd just find a way to fix this or explain this later. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I'm just dead. My roommate isn't weird like me and he hates when I say silly things to the bird. When he comes back this weekend, I'm worried he's gonna give a notice and leave.
Any advice on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. I'm sweating as I'm writing this.
And no, for privacy reasons, I will not be posting a video of the bird.
TL;DR I tried intercourse with my gf twice while blasting CBAT just for the experience, and my roommate's parrot learned the song. My roommate doesn't know about this yet.
EDIT: When I get back home from work today, I will sit by the bird and record audio.
EDIT 2: Hyperlinked CBAT above for those who haven't read the story.
EDIT 3: [Here’s the audio you skeptics](https://voca.ro/16NdnZIFs0d4). Enjoy CBIRD. God help me.
ElectroStaticSpeaker: If no video we at least need audio to prove this is real.
EDIT: Thanks for providing the audio! Pretty funny.
omniverso: Agreed.
Proof or Ban
lolno: r/wallstreetbirds
Shatenburgers: You are now a moderator of r/wallstreetbirds
CreativeChromago: wait i wanna be one so i can abuse my power
Shatenburgers: Make a post and I’ll mod you
CreativeChromago: done
Shatenburgers: Congratulations! You are now banned from r/wallstreetbirds
NyanIsSus: Make me a mod so I can do nothing but randomly pop In maybe once a week, or day, or month and say the word bird to someone.
Shatenburgers: > Make a post and I’ll mod you
NyanIsSus: Bet.
Shatenburgers: Congratulations! You are now banned from r/wallstreetbirds
mondo165: Time for reverse psychology. You should ban me from r/wallstreetbirds
CreativeChromago: welp hes gonna ban you lol! he actually made me a mod so ur dead
| 15 | 3,204.866667 | |
1664535913 | 1664648351 | t3_xryfjc | t5_2to41 | 3,275 | BikerJedi: TIFU by not knowing what a gallbladder attack was and thinking it was back pain for 10 years, and my not managing my care better.
EDIT: Today I apparently also fucked up the title. Sorry.
A number of years ago, I was at a red light and a woman texting and driving broke by neck and back in four places when she rear ended me. I'm only alive because I was in my SUV and not on the Harley. (I also can't ride anymore as a result, but whatever.)
Since then, I've had horrible back pain. It comes and goes, and is managed with regular massage, a TENS unit and some medication. Sometimes the pain would hit me right in my lower to mid back, but it felt deeper than that. I'd be unable to sit, stand or lie down - everything hurt. I'd be reduced to tears most of the time. I had one at work and had to be taken home in a wheelchair to the car and a co-worker drove me home. This happened 3-6 times a year, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night.
I'm not sure I can describe how bad these attacks were - it felt like someone beat my lower to mid back with a baseball bat. They were literally debilitating and I would often fall asleep sobbing from the pain. Even the heavy duty opiods the VA had me on like Morphine barely touched the pain.
Along with all that, the 13 different drugs the VA used to have me on really messed up my stomach, and I had a bunch of issues with loose stool alternating with constipation and cramps. I always had diarrhea around these attacks but never put two and two together, because I didn't really understand what a gallbladder does. That was the first part of my fuck up - not knowing that.
If you don't know, it stores bile so you can digest fat. Without it, the fat just goes right through you, giving you loose stool or worse. Just like in your kidney, you can get gallstones. Those stones can block the duct, causing a buildup of bile. This entire time, I was experiencing a gallbladder attack, where it was having trouble doing its job because of the gallstones, so it was becoming severely inflammed, triggering the back pain.
Why wasn't this discovered sooner? My GP at the VA was treating my pain, and the specialist was treating my stomach issues. Guess who didn't talk to each other often enough? The revolving door of doctors at the VA kept me from having docs who talk to each other. That was the second part of my fuck up - I should have been on the different newly hired GP who I saw twice a year to read back through my notes and get caught up. Instead it was take vitals, renew meds, referral to specialist, out the door until six months later to meet a new GP when I came back for my bi-annual check up.
They removed the galbladder several years ago. When I woke up in recovery and the doc came to check on me, he told me that mine was the worst gallbladder he had seen in years. He described it as "riddled" with gallstones and said he was amazed I wasn't having more attacks.
I can't even tell you what a relief it is to not have the attacks anymore. It was well worth the change in diet and having to give up some foods. It also causes you to need the bathroom more than before but again, to hell with back pain.
EDIT: If y'all enjoyed this little tale, I'll put in a shameless plug for /r/militarystories, where I also write.
TL;DR: Thought my back pain was just back pain - it was gallbladder attacks caused by fatty foods and I didn't put two and two together or manage my revolving door of doctors correctly to diagnose this.
nudul: Sending healing hugs. I have 4 slipped discs (have done for roughly 12 years) and 8 years ago, I started with really bad pain in my back. I felt like I was being stabbed through my ribs.
Don't feel bad about not putting it all together. I went to A&E 3 times. And 3 times they sent me home with no diagnostics or follow ups telling me it was 'just trapped wind'. I lost track of how many Dr's and nurses I saw each time I went.
I finally got an appointment with my own GP who hooked one finger under my rib as some kind of test, and when I screamed loud enough for the receptionist to run in to check all was okay, the GP stood back, said 'I'm getting you a place on the ward, it's your gall bladder'.
I went back to the hospital, this time directly to the ward who sent me for an ultrasound. The lady doing the ultrasound found 23 gallstones, a blocked duct and a collapsed gall bladder. They took it out within 24 hours.
When the specialist went through all my meds, it turns out the high dosage of tramadol and voltoral that I took at the time for my back pain had caused it.
All to say, don't feel bad for not putting together what doctors and other health professionals aren't often able to diagnose.
balashaitankasaala: That thing he did by hooking his finger under your rib is called eliciting Murphy’s sign. It causes you to catch your breath mid-inspiration because your inflamed gallbladder came into contact with the finger and caused you pain.
Just a med student dropping a random fact lol. Glad you got it taken care of. Acute Cholecystitis hurts like a bitch.
eyesRus: I had gall bladder symptoms (pain after eating with pain in right shoulder), and a positive Murphy’s sign upon examination. Had an ultrasound, and it was WNL. Any thoughts what could be happening?
nosuchthingasa_: I’m not a doctor, but I also had gall bladder issues for years that were missed because it was gall bladder disease and not stones. The gall bladder itself didn’t function right, even without the presence of stones. This was finally diagnosed by a special imaging test where they give you the substances that cause your gall bladder to contract after you eat some radioactive food so they can try to force the gall bladder to do its thing while they scan you. My gall bladder had stopped working right, so the symptoms were essentially the same without the presence of stones that an ultrasound would find.
Maevoline: I believe the special imaging is called a HIDA scan
https://www.mayoclinic.org/tests-procedures/hida-scan/about/pac-20384701
nosuchthingasa_: I think that’s it! It’s been years, now, with a lot of other medical issues, so I didn’t remember the name off the top of my head. Thanks!
Maevoline: My fiancée linked me this post because I was in the ER last weekend with (suspected) cholecystitis and that was one of the tests they're recommending before they remove mine. This is like the 3rd or 4th time I've been in that pain - not fun!
nosuchthingasa_: Yeah, it was way worth it for me! I hope you find some relief!
| 9 | 363.888889 | |
1664548155 | 1664559576 | t3_xs2t7u | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a violent joke on r/gaming
[deleted]
furriosity: Joking about a school shooting is always a bad idea, especially given that there are 2 trials concerning school shootings going on in the US right now.
HighlightFun8419: yeah, but a permaban on a major subreddit? give him a 7-30 day ban to think about his choices and let him back. I totally understand why he's frustrated.
furriosity: And I totally understand why a sub would have 0 tolerance for this. It's extremely stupid
HighlightFun8419: i'm not disagreeing with the stupidity. but at the end of the day, a joke is just a joke.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1664545506 | 1664571581 | t3_xs1rg8 | t5_2to41 | 15,168 | Any_Payment_707: TIFU by putting my sex toys in a bad hiding spot
Hi so I (19) live at home with my mother, father and brother (29) (not putting my parents ages because I don't think it's that relevant). I'm taking a gap year and have a girlfriend (22F) who visits my house pretty often.
I've gotten some sex toys from her as well as from target when we went there on a shopping date and my dumb ass thought it would be a great hiding spot to put them all in a swimwear bag in my drawer.
Now I'm aware that my mom likes to snoop but I never thought she would ACTUALLY OPEN IT to find out about the contents, and this all happened when I was on a tour in Europe with my schoolmates. Me and my friends went to a sex shop there and bought toys back to America and I added that to my swimgear bag.
After I got back from Europe and settled in back at home, my mom came into my room, opened my draw and pulled out the bag and sat down on my bed next to me to have a talk with me.
Let me tell you my face was so hot from embarrassment I could fry an egg. She told me about how "you're old enough and I respect your privacy but you know don't do it too much its bad for your health!" and has left me mortified. In my swimgear bag, I also have my actual swimgear in it and my mom asked me where it was so she could wash it along with the rest of the laundry and I just stared at her shaking my head after the conversation and she was like oh.
This also isn't the first time that's happened. She found the one I bought in Europe and told me not to buy anymore because its unnecessary and I just tried to move the conversation forward as quickly as possible.
Now when I say this isn't the first time, I mean that my parents have probably accidentally heard me and my girlfriend being "too loud" in the middle of the night which I feel so bad for them hearing. She had a talk with me about that too and basically repeated the same thing about the sex toys. So now its something I think about from time to time and remember the embarrassment.
tldr: i hid my sex toys in a bad spot and my mom had to have a talk with me after discovering them
edit: im also not financially stable
edit 2: there was a reason as to why I didn't want to put my gender so now I removed it thanks to assholes messaging me about how there's only two genders
TCGislife: She respects your privacy yet she snoops in your shit? Smdh.
Any_Payment_707: she barges in on me in the bathroom too
TCGislife: 😐 how are you still living there.
Any_Payment_707: I'm broke lmfao
BloodTrinity: Broke but able to go to Europe, wild
Any_Payment_707: my parents funded it lmao
The_Unreliable_94: Living off your parents instead of getting a job I see.. when I was your age (almost 9 years ago) I was out grafting and saving as much as I could.
So_inadequate: Please stop being like this. You're from 94?I'm too. You know this world is harsh for young people, ourselves included. Don't act like you're better and talk about "when I was your age". It looks bad on all of us.
The_Unreliable_94: I forgot to mention that I've basically got no savings and plenty of debt after going self employed twice in 1 year.. 3 years ago.
fezzuk: Yeah been there dude, but don't take your shit out on other people.
It's not some 19 Yr olds fault that their family can afford to let them have good experiences their younger years, while yours was hard.
I'm sure you would want the same for your kids, it's what most of us strive for.
The_Unreliable_94: My younger years weren't exactly hard. I had plenty of savings and then made a big mistake at 24, got into a good place financially at the start of this year and I'm now back to a few grands worth of debt at the age of 27. Most of it should be paid off this time next year and I'll be going from saving £300 a month to over £600 and I'm aiming to have a mortgage by the time I'm 30-31.
fezzuk: Ah yeah, dude been there. Got a one bed at 36, after making a lot of money on one business, losing all on another.
Now for the first time jn my life I'm an actual employee with paid holiday & shit, no money but enough for the mortgage ect.
But you kinda came across as an arse early, don't start sounding like a bitter old man at 31 it's not healthy and you just sound like a monty python sketch.
https://youtu.be/VKHFZBUTA4k
The_Unreliable_94: >don't start sounding like a bitter old man at 31 it's not healthy
I sound like a bitter old man now and I'm not even 28.. I'm taking after my older colleagues too much.
I also got an ad for a leather belt under that sketch 🤣
fezzuk: Well you need something to beat your children to sleep with.
The_Unreliable_94: Fortunately I don't have kids, but I'll keep the idea on the back burner just in case! /s
| 16 | 948 | |
1664553616 | 1664560552 | t3_xs51xn | t5_2to41 | 911 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking questions about why my mom is going to therapy
[deleted]
AllanfromWales1: Absolutely not a TIFU. You did NOTHING wrong. He, on the other hand..
misssunshinefairy: Yeah the FU part is mostly me asking all these questions and finding out on my 21st birthday of all days :')))
taladrovw: Better sooner than later
BustaLimez: I mean grandma could have waited one more day. Not the best memory or reminder of your birthday lol
| 5 | 182.2 | |
1664543275 | 1665160602 | t3_xs0x36 | t5_2to41 | 160 | Von_Mix: TIFU by boofing 70% ethanol hand sanitizer
for the uninitiated, boofing is when you put a substance up your ass. there are various reasons one might do this, in my case it was to avoid throwing up hand sanitizer, as i had drunk it many times before to that end.
now i'm a smart little coookie, i thought i could beat the game. unlike everyone else, i knew the ingredients in this. ethanol and phenoxyethanol. i had boofed 5 squirts diluted in water already, it mildly worked. this time i decided to skip the water so it would be more concentrated, but i'd have to use the hand sanitizer bottle directly as it sticks to the side of any container you move it into. i went for it and got a good amount in my butt. instantly i felt the need to shit but that's what happens when you boof anything so i thought nothing of it. i hold it for 5 minutes then dilute the contents of my colon with water as i assume the gel is too viscous making it more like a solid and harder to hold. this is where it all goes wrong. after about 15 seconds i can't handle the urge to shit anymore and let loose on the toilet. it was messy.
i didn't realise until a little later, but putting a caustic chemical up there gave me bad diarrhea. the thing though? there was nothing in my colon to push out, so i just felt like i needed to shit really badly but when i went to, almost nothing came out. i would be on and off the toilet many times until i managed to get to sleep. for 3 hours. i woke up at 2 am and i needed to use the toilet again and again. the feeling wouldn't stop. it was barely a tiny amount of some liquid substance every time and left me still feeling like i needed to go. unlike a normal time when you boof something and it lingers for a few hours, this was different. this didn't seem like it'd ever stop, incapacitating me with the constant and extremely uncomfortable urge like after a night out at taco bell. it was torture but i tried my absolute hardest to sleep it off to no avail. i thought i had probably excreted a lot of sodium during this, because i was so tired but completely restless, my mouth was dry, and i couldn't pee despite drinking water.
eventually i eat some food to get my electrolytes up a tiny bit, but as my body is adjusting i start to think about what i'd actually done to myself. maybe this wouldn't go away, incapacitating me until tomorrow? or god forbid i've done permanent damage to my colon by putting 70% hand sanitizer up there. what if the constant feeling never goes away? or what if... i have to have a colostomy bag??? or i develop ibs??? like, at the very least my colon lining had been damaged badly. by 6 i get to sleep and wake up at 8 to eat breakfast. i threw up most of it. i needed to shit again so i did. then a few minutes later again. back to this... but it actually subsided shortly after with no further symptoms other than mild phenoxyethanol intoxication. safe to say i am no longer taking my rectum for granted, and i am thankful for how forgiving it was to me on this occasion.
TL;DR boofed hand sanitizer, got a free trial of IBS
Gatecreeper88: >now i'm a smart little coookie
Survey says.... no, you're really not. Seek treatment for addiction OP
Von_Mix: it was ironic, should i use tone indicators next time
Treyen: Is the addiction ironic?
Von_Mix: im not addicted to alcohol although you could call me somewhat of a poly user. ive been drunk 8 or so times in my life but i dont enjoy it, just the fact it changes my feeling. either way though i don't get why people are downvoting me for a genuine fuck up just because of the absurdity of it
QuartzPigeon: If you're calling yourself a "poly user" of alcohol you're definitely an alcoholic lmfao
Von_Mix: im a poly drug user in general. alcohol is one of those drugs. this is normal teenage experimentation, i just take it too far sometimes
RustyPShackleford: Bachelor's in Addiction Studies chiming in....this is not normal, the excuse of "experimenting" does not make it normal. Please seek out help.
Von_Mix: i havent taken any drugs since this post, how the fuck am i addicted 🤣
RustyPShackleford: I'm not saying you are. I'm just stating that I've studied the subject and I just simply want you to know, that behavior is not normal. In fact, it's very dangerous on many levels. It's even more so dangerous when you try to normalize not normal, dangerous behaviors.
Von_Mix: sorry i jumped to a conclusion there. i know how i use drugs is not normal. i used to snort vape juice.
| 11 | 14.545455 | |
1666662625 | 1666798273 | t3_ycst8m | t5_2to41 | 6,409 | GoatCheese240: TIFU by lying about my weight to my dentist.
This happened two months ago, not today.
I put off getting my wisdom teeth pulled until my mid 20’s (needed dental insurance.)
I’d gained weight, was not proud and was working it off. Naturally, I said I was 180lbs instead of 225lbs.
I had impacted teeth and needed full sedation. They pushed IV propofol and fentanyl and said I’d wake up feeling loopy.
I didn’t though. I stayed awake, white knuckle gripping the chair moaning in pain. The oral surgeon kept saying “stop moving your tongue” as he held my head still.
I was awake enough to realize that there’s a lot of joking around and laughing among staff during procedures. I unfortunately, was not having a good time.
When the procedure was done, they wiped the blood off my face and left me in the room to “wake up.”
I immediately stood up. The tech said “woah take it easy you’ve been out for 30 minutes.” I replied “damn it only felt like 20” with cheeks stuffed with cotton.
TLDR: I was self conscious about my weight gain and I was severely punished for lying about it.
ravioli___formuoli: I can see taking off 15 lbs or so but 45?! You were asking to be awake for that surgery 😂
Snizl: i mean, its just wisdom teeth. its insane to me, that it is so common that people take the enormous stress full anaesthesia has on their body to get out of some awkwardness.
yesthecornisreal: This isn’t full anesthesia technically, this type of anesthesia is called twilight sedation. You’re technically always still awake after (which is why the doctor was giving simple commands), most people just forget what happened after receiving the treatment. This is normally done for wisdom teeth procedures that are *not* a simple teeth pulling. I had this done for my wisdom teeth surgery, my teeth were still completely in the jaw bone and had to be extracted by cutting them out. Not something that should be experienced with just a little novocaine.
Azzacura: My wisdom teeth on the right side were cut out & broken in pieces *without* sedation, because apparently it's possible to be resistent to certain types. 7 needles in the top, 5 in the bottom, and I still felt the whole thing
It was the worst time of my life, and I would only wish it upon my worst enemy
AlmostChristmasNow: Local anaesthesia or actual sedation? If local anaesthesia: have you ever had your connective tissue checked? I’m pretty resistant to local anaesthesia because my connective tissue is genetically fucked up (probably Ehlers-Danlos-Syndrome).
Azzacura: .....holy shit I didn't make the connection between Ehlers Danlos and anaesthesia. I have hypermobility, EDS isn't proven yet but my doctor suspects I might have more than just hypermobility.
I was talking about local anaesthesia, how do I go about getting my connective tissue checked? My country has free healthcare, but you have to be a walking encyclopedia to get the care you need because no GP will refer you to specialists for anything until it's either life-threatening or you know more about it than they do....
AlmostChristmasNow: Personally, I made a list of EDS-symptoms I (and immediate family members) have (a combination of stuff I found on the internet and on this subreddit) and read that list to my GP, who referred me to a geneticist. Idk if you already know that, but there are several different types of EDS, and some symptoms are only associated with some types (and of course everyone is different and has different issues/ different severity of symptoms).
Azzacura: I do know the latter part, but I've been too lazy/busy to look up more extensive lists than the first one I found when my (temp, my perm doctor was sick) doctor told me I had hypermobility. Up until that point I always just considered the stuff I could do like a party trick haha.
AlmostChristmasNow: Oh yes, the party tricks. I was in my twenties when I figured out that arms aren’t supposed to feel longer when you lift something heavy. I’m so used to subluxations especially in my shoulders that I thought it was normal, something everyone does and just doesn’t talk about. The horrified looks on the faces of people with working connective tissue when I say that are hilarious.
Azzacura: For me it's being able to bend my knees backwards quite a bit, falling asleep sitting straight with my ear on my shoulder (neck in a 45 degree angle), and my fingers popping out of place that I didn't realize wasn't normal until I got this diagnosis haha.
The reason I went to see my doc was because I had a partially torn meniscus that got stuck between my knee joint sometimes, preventing me from stretching it fully (the way I was used to). The doc asked me why I came because my knee *was* extending fully. And he got a horrifed and then fascinated look on his face when I showed him hot much farther I could extend my other knee. He hadn't seen someone with hypermobility before apparently, so he asked if I was ok with a full examination, and that's when I learned that a *lot* of stuff that seemed normal for me were far for normal. It was super helpful for me to get a doctor who was aware of the condition and fascinated by it!
Edit: I was made aware of it at age 25 btw, after having related medical issues all my life 🤦mostly problems with my achilles tendon
AlmostChristmasNow: I’ve had issues all my life too that never made sense, I was considered lazy because I could never run as fast as other kids my age and was in general bad at stuff that requires a lot of strength (basically everything to do with sports). Now I’m kinda angry that none of the 10+ sports teachers I had in school never noticed something wrong (I was trying, I just couldn’t do that stuff).
Btw, if you do have EDS: make sure you stay hydrated. One of the symptoms is to not feel thirst as much as you should, so it’s easy to become dehydrated because you don’t notice. (And making sure you stay hydrated is of course important regardless of diagnosis.)
Azzacura: I do my absolute best to empty a 1,5l waterbottle every day but keep forgetting to drink 🤣 I thought that was my ADHD, but I see now that there is definitely some overlap.
And I too am kinda angry at nobody catching on earlier that something was wrong. I played a competitive ballsport at national championship level (we were champions 5 times out of 8 seasons) but had to stop playing every other month on doctors orders to just "get some rest for 2 weeks so the muscles can restore themselves" and played in a LOT of pain for years. I'm mostly angry at my mother for never taking me to a different doctor, and for never questioning their "diagnosis"
AlmostChristmasNow: Yup. I was almost diagnosed at 5yo. I got the mandatory doctor check-up before starting school; the doctor noticed my fingers were unusual and suggested marfans (which really freaked out my parents because of the diminished life expectancy associated with it, especially because the doctor didn’t say it during the appointment and instead left a message on the answering machine on that Friday afternoon). So I got checked for marfans, but after that was ruled out nobody looked further, so it took until I was in my 20s and rewatching Grey’s Anatomy (that one episode really changed my life) to notice something was wrong.
Azzacura: I've only watched a couple of episodes and was actually going to start rewatching all of it next week haha, can you tell me more about the episode you mean so I can try to find it and watch that one first?
AlmostChristmasNow: It’s season 13 episode 4. They have a patient that they think is an alcoholic, but Richard dislocates her shoulder accidentally, so they realise something is going on with her (and that she’s not an alcoholic), and they diagnose her with EDS. (And when Richard dislocated her shoulder, I looked down at my own, subluxed it and finally realised that that isn’t normal. Then I started googling.)
| 16 | 400.5625 | |
1666656093 | 1666691803 | t3_ycqlrv | t5_2to41 | 15,884 | Fragrant_Mine_177: TIFU by my gfs mom finding our condoms and her ultimately finding out we’ve been having sex.
So, to sum things up quickly, I often spend the night at my gfs house. We’re both 17 and have been dating since we were 15. Me and my gf didn’t start having sex until about 5 months ago, and with both of us being virgins before hand, this is still somewhat new to us. This all started when my gf invited me to her homecoming dance, we’re long distance, so it’s easier to stay the night after late night events and such. When I do stay the night, I stay in the downstairs guest room, where as my gf stays in her room upstairs. My gfs mom doesn’t mind if we stay up late, however she expects us to be in our own rooms by the next morning. So I drove up to my gfs house for the weekend, and the homecoming dance went great, afterwards we stopped by Walgreens to get some condoms, we didn’t want the purchase being tracked through our cards so we payed with cash. Everything was fine afterwards, the movie was great, and we returned home and eventually had sex. I hid the condoms in the drawer of the night stand in the guest room. I somehow figured this would be a good spot, since usually no one goes into the guest room except me when I’m staying. The next day, my gf had work at about 4 in the afternoon, so I planned on leaving after she left for work. As I was getting ready to leave and packing my stuff up, my girlfriends mom walked into the guest room and was just talking to me. There was a random charger plugged into the wall and she asked if it was mine. I responded with no, and she responded by picking up the charger and wrapping it up, she then opened the drawer where the condoms were to place it in the drawer, my face turned ghost- white, however she simply threw the charger in the drawer and closed it. I assumed that she just didn’t notice the condoms. I continued packing my stuff, talked to her mom for while (she was in her usual good mood), said goodbye and drove home. Of course I was freaked out, but I was relieved she didn’t see them. However, flash forward a day later, and my gf just texted me that her mom had a long talk with her. It turns out she did see the condoms, she just played it off as if she didn’t. She told my gf that I will not be spending the night quite a long time, and that she’s not mad, just very disappointed. Here’s the worst part though, her mom told her that she has to tell her dad. Her mom and dad are divorced, and to keep it short, although I visit both of their houses, her dad is much more strict, and will definitely be pissed at me after he finds out. So here I am typing this, knowing that things are about to be pretty bad. I’m not sure what’s going to happen from here, but it’s definitely not gonna be good. Any suggestions on how to make this better? Luckily at least her mom is still allowing us to have contact, and has agreed not to tell my parents, I’m not sure how things will turn out with her dad though. Wish me luck, I’m gonna need it :/ will possibly update.
TLDR; gfs mom found my poorly hidden condoms and found out we’re having sex, gf is being forced to tell her much stricter dad, things are a mess.
pcash40: i know this seems like a big deal now, but it will seem like a fond memory in a couple of years i would act scared and not sweat it too much and say sorry lol
CupResponsible797: Fond memory? That’s some downright abusive shit. Mom trying to interfere with 17yos having sex is so fucking creepy. The only appropriate reaction here was “good job for using condoms, keep it up”.
A person like this should not be allowed to have children.
we_appreciate_power: Mom not wanting underage sex under her roof is completely her right. It’s not creepy.
JaysusTheWise: At least they're doing it somewhere safe. If it wasnt in the house they'd find somewhere else to do it.
While its not something thats not easily discussed as a parent, if these 17 year olds are having sex with condoms then theyre doing it right, trying to make them stop will only result in either resentment or them doing it anyway, just somewhere that probably isn't as safe as a house.
Theyre pretty much adults at this point, trying to control them will just result in the opposite.
we_appreciate_power: I’m not denying that, but to call her creepy is an unnecessary stretch.
CupResponsible797: How could parents interfering with a 17yos perfectly normal healthy sex life possibly not be creepy?
Although I suppose that many Americans also think it’s not creepy and weird to restrict things like abortion access, so I guess that’s just how you people are.
Amiibohunter000: How the fuck did you rope abortion into this? You are all over the place with your comments and seem to be taking it somewhat personally. Your obsession with 17 year olds’ sex lives is creepy
CupResponsible797: Both explicitly relate to the same human rights principles wrt. reproductive and sexual rights.
In civilised nations a 17 year old has the right to make independent decisions about their sexuality, about things like abortions.
It’s inappropriate for parents to interfere with a teenagers sex life for exactly the same reasons it’d be inappropriate for them to interfere with them getting an abortion.
Also, in most cases there would be no legal way for parents to enforce this. They can’t trespass their daughters friends given that she’s a legal tenant, and you generally can’t evict your tenants for having sex.
Amiibohunter000: The homeowner can 100% trespass someone if they are on their property unwarranted. A 17 year old child is not a tenant.
That’s besides the point. It’s not creepy for a parent to not want their children to have sex in their house. It’s just not. Is it archaic and probably counterintuitive to their goals? Probably. But it’s far from creepy lol
CupResponsible797: As an occupant without a lease explicitly forbidding such, you are allowed to have guests and the homeowner in fact can not trespass them in most jurisdictions.
> Is it archaic and probably counterintuitive to their goals? Probably. But it’s far from creepy lol
Why do you think that trying to enforce archaic ideas on your children’s sexuality is not creepy?
Rockw00d: You can't possibly be serious in thinking that the parents don't have the ability to determine who enters their home. With your logic a 13 year old could have all their friends over for sleep overs 7 days a week and the parents would have no right to stop it.
CupResponsible797: Of course they do, you can't have your friends over for sleepovers every day of the week because then they're no longer guests, and inviting someone to habitually live in the house is strictly different than having a guest visit you.
If you were suggesting that an underage child in lawful possession of the property is unable to invite guests onto the property, you'd be wrong.
If you were suggesting that parents could forcefully remove their kids' friends from their home, you'd be wrong.
> You can't possibly be serious in thinking that the parents don't have the ability to determine who enters their home
It sounds like you're arguing on the basis of how you feel things *should be* and not how they are. Lawmakers have not bothered to carve out a separate legal framework for children in this context.
Rockw00d: I obviously used an exaggerated example, but you completely ignored the point I was making. Children simply do not possess the same rights as adults.
CupResponsible797: Okay, so I suppose you can point out some relevant legislation that codifies this lack of rights?
Or are you just assuming, because it feels like things should be that way?
And in fact, this has nothing to do with the kid's rights. This has to do with trespass laws and whether or not a person is guilty of trespass when invited onto the property by an underage occupant (which they obviously aren't).
Rockw00d: Sure... 17 year olds can't vote. 17 year olds can't purchase a firearm. 17 year olds can't buy alcohol or tobacco. 17 year olds can't hold political office. 17 year olds can't make pornographic material. Enough examples?
CupResponsible797: What does that have to do with trespass legislation?
Also, for what it's worth, in many states 17 year olds can hold political office. And if we look at a more local level, 17 year olds can probably hold political offices in *most states*
Vermont has no age requirements for governors, Vermont and Montana have no age requirements for the upper or lower house. There are 11 states which impose no age limits on attorneys general and 16 states which impose no age limits for the secretary of state.
Rockw00d: My point is that children do not have the same rights as adults. They cannot tell their parents who is and isn't allowed in the house. You don't have to be trespassed to stop someone from coming over. Use some common sense. Sure the child can invite someone in, but there is nothing stopping the parents from kicking the person out and punishing the child. By political office I was referring to the specific requirements laid out by the constitution for the presidency and Senate, since you asked for clear examples of "lack of rights".
CupResponsible797: > They cannot tell their parents who is and isn't allowed in the house.
It's fine, because trespass laws have nothing whatsoever to do with what kids tell their parents.
> You don't have to be trespassed to stop someone from coming over.
How so?
> but there is nothing stopping the parents from kicking the person out and punishing the child
How do you legally kick someone out without trespassing them?
> since you asked for clear examples of "lack of rights".
Relevant examples.
Rockw00d: You are really into this trespass thing, and yet you don't seem to have a grasp on how it works. The owner of a house (who is living there and not just a landlord) can trespass a person if they choose. When that person is notified of the trespass, they can not legally come back even if a child invited them. Could a 10 year old invite a trespassed adult onto their parents property? Of course not. Neither can a 17 year old.
CupResponsible797: > You are really into this trespass thing
Because it is more or less the only way to legally remove someone who isn't behaving in a disruptive manner from your property.
> The owner of a house (who is living there and not just a landlord) can trespass a person if they choose.
There's no general rule that the primary occupant has more power than the other occupants here.
>When that person is notified of the trespass, they can not legally come back even if a child invited them. Could a 10 year old invite a trespassed adult onto their parents property? Of course not. Neither can a 17 year old.
You're mistaken. Even if one person in lawful possession of a property trespasses you, another can still invite you in.
It gets vastly more complicated when we consider the fact that there's no contract between the parent and the child. This opens up very complicated questions that'd normally be addressed in a tenancy agreement, without a contract it's up in the air whether or not the child might be the exclusive tenant of their own room for example.
Rockw00d: You are trying to be extremely legalistic but lack any common sense. Children are not considered equal occupants of a residence. It legitimately blows my mind you think parents can't stop their underage children from having people over to their house. This may be the stupidest argument I've ever had on Reddit, and I'm done now.
CupResponsible797: What do you think will prevail in court if you injure someone while kicking them out of your house after they've been invited in by your child? I'd go with the legalistic arguments.
| 23 | 690.608696 | |
1666717894 | 1666861396 | t3_yda4gr | t5_2to41 | 41 | ghostredditorstempac: TIFU: By trying to discreetly treat a burn... on my finger
[removed]
Leighgion: I think the real FU is not reassessing the relative importance of tennis practice in your life.
ghostredditorstempac: Hehe, I can see where you're coming from. At this point, tennis is probably one of the greatest things that's keeping me alive (not suicidal).
I'll even go as far as to say that it saved my life
Leighgion: I assumed it had special importance. Look at it this way though: by not easing off, you’ve seriously compromised your ability to play until that hand heals up.
ghostredditorstempac: Bingo! That's exactly what I was thinking. Although I can't play Tennis right now, it doesn't stop me from doing Injury Prevention Exercises, which is really important and a commonly overlooked factor of being a tennis player
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1666720364 | 1666803867 | t3_ydb5cd | t5_2to41 | 20,573 | emperorarg: TIFU by letting my cousins infant son play scrabble and ruin my cat.
My cousin has a 2.5 year old son and they sometimes come to visit me. His son like to play around with my scrabble set and fortunately isn't dumb enough to put them in his mouth. A few weeks ago, when he came with his parents, he immediately went for my scrabble set and wanted to show me some of the new words his mom had taught him. Simple words such as Ant, Bat, Cat, and Dog etc.
I've had my cat, Missy, for 5 years and he has seen my cat in his multiple visits. On this visit, I asked him to spell my cats name and he misspent the name is "Misy". When I showed him that he missed a second "s" he huffed at me.
Later as he was still playing alone, I saw that he had arranged the word "NINNU" on the board and was giggling to himself while looking at my cat. His dad asked him why he was laughing and he said that the cat's new name is "Ninnu".
My cat rarely ever responds to her name, Missy, but the moment she started getting called this, she started looking at whoever said the name and doing a "MRRRP" sound.
All these years I've been trying to get my cat to learn her name and she has decided that this is her new name.
​
TL-DR - Infant cousin was playing scrabble and arranged a few letter blocks to form a new name for my cat, a name that my cat always responds to.
Update- forgot to pay [cat tax](https://imgur.com/a/FJUO8wR)
Also by cousins son had his mom sitting next to him pointing out the letters.
RiffRaffMama: Maybe it's not a new name. Maybe it was her name all along and *you* were the one who got it wrong?
SophiaF88: Exactly. The kid just knows the cats *true* name.
morostheSophist: ~~~~~
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey—
All of them sensible everyday names.
There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter—
But all of them sensible everyday names,
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum—
Names that never belong to more than one cat.
But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that you never will guess;
The name that no human research can discover—
But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable
Effanineffable
Deep and inscrutable singular name.
--T. S. Eliot, "The Naming of Cats"
~~~~~
Kid gave the cat its second name, I think. 'Missy' is definitely the first type of name.
The kid is probably too old to learn the cat's true name, as he can speak. Language forever colors our interpretation of the world.
The_Vat: There needs to be a fourth, which is the full formal version of the cat's family name which is only used in disciplinary circumstances.
e.g. Doug the cat is spotted on the kitchen bench, which is forbidden..
"Douglas Witherington Smythe-Jones the Third, remove yourself from the kitchen bench immediately!"
HangryIntrovert: And they have to be three or four names long, with either a suffix or a title. Or both.
Mine also respond to "sir." As in, "Sir! What in the particular fuck do you think you are doing? Yes; I thought not." (In this case, "sir" is punctuated by the THUDUMP of a cat quickly removing himself from the off-limits location.)
Catinthemirror: >And they have to be three or four names long, with either a suffix or a title. Or both.
[Lord Blueberry (aka Blue, aka Boobers, aka Mr Boo, aka Mr B), Founder and CEO of Half-a-Stache Enterprises, Purrveyors of Fine Invisible Motorcars for Cats.](https://imgur.com/gallery/qgxDOy0)
wuzzittoya: Very dignified!
Catinthemirror: He's ancient now, skinny and creaky, but still just as dignified!
wuzzittoya: Yes. Love loving my pets into old age. ❤️
| 10 | 2,057.3 | |
1666604188 | 1666624565 | t3_yc6v75 | t5_2to41 | 17,575 | [deleted]: TIFU being horny and getting scammed by a Reddit user
[deleted]
3bag: Report them to reddit.
Also, if you go to your bank's website you could fill in a fraud form.
Something like this: [https://www.tsb.co.uk/fraud-prevention-centre/how-to-report-fraud/](https://www.tsb.co.uk/fraud-prevention-centre/how-to-report-fraud/)
You might get your money back for goods not recieved. (Personal video service)
TuliBean: This. You paid under false pretense and that is a crime. Seriously, if a dude asked for $10 for gas then dips out and gets beer, that's technically a crime they can be charged for
d3gu: Pretty certain it's against reddit rules to hire sex workers over the chat but here we are.
laplongejr: Would you rather lose money or a Reddit account? Especially given the Reddit one may be lost anyway.
outlawsix: Uh i would rather keep my reddit account than $10
laplongejr: Yeah but the account already broke TOS so involving the bank wouldn't change the result on that...
outlawsix: a) its not against the tos, b) reddit isnt scanning your pms for messages to camgirls
laplongejr: The comment I'm answering to is saying OP may lose their account for solliciting, so OP shouldn't put a complaint to their bank. My point is that calling the bank won't change anything to that and money is important.
d3gu: "I tried to buy boobie photos on reddit from a stranger and they didn't send me boobie photos, help me bank please, I only have enough blood to power my brain OR my penis".
No doubt he will be politely told to eff off.
laplongejr: "I paid somebody for services not delivered, which is illegal"
-Heis3nberg-: Dude come on and be realistic. We all know the bank wouldn’t do a damn thing.
Some people here are incredibly naive or must be like 16. I can’t believe you’re actually trying to argue this.
laplongejr: Now I'm confused. Are you claiming chargebacks don't work?
-Heis3nberg-: Wait, you’re confusing me now. What made you think I “claimed” that? Were we arguing about chargebacks or were we talking about whether the bank would realistically give you your money back because you got scammed?
laplongejr: We're talking about reversing payments because of a scam by undelivered services. That's the definition of a chargeback procedure, I think?
-Heis3nberg-: No, we aren’t. We’re talking about how realistic it is to contact the bank in this particular situation, not in general.
Sorry, for the confusion, but it’s time to start being realistic and in this case, it is not realistic. I’m not going to argue any further if you’re not going to be genuine.
Ciao
| 16 | 1,098.4375 | |
1666659185 | 1666705798 | t3_ycrna0 | t5_2to41 | 1,115 | coolneatrad: TIFU by taking care of a mouse problem
Not today, but several years ago.
One morning I was making an omelet, and just as I plated it a little mouse startled me. Now, living in a country house I was no stranger to mice. I gave it the old short step and verbal report, shaking my fist for good measure. To my shock, this mouse was _completely unfazed_ by this primal display of dominance. Committed to my intention, I brought out the other arm, hulking up my shoulders in order to appear even larger. This seems to have worked, and the previously complacent rodent recognized the authenticity of my threat and yeeted itself coherent to my vector. I chased it into the bathroom, bounding after it with ridiculously animated steps. As soon as it crossed the threshold, I pulled the door shut and contemplated my next steps while my pulse returned to normal. Remembering that cats eat mice, I found my trusty feline and cracked open the door just enough to add her to the situation. Now with my ears as the only tool to monitor, I stood outside and listened. After what felt like an eternity, there was a scuffle, a chase, silence, a few crunches, and there I stood outside the door satisfied that I had _taken care_ of the problem and could now go enjoy my omelet.
A day later another fearless mouse appeared, and though I won’t bore you with the details I took care of this problem in much the same way. I had a plan, a method, it was _easy_.
Another day later, sitting at the table. Housemate enters the dining room, who had just returned from a several day trip.
_”Where are my gerbils??”_
Sharp breath in through clenched teeth as I instantly made the connection to the friendly mice.
Another housemate had been tasked to feed his gerbils, had forgotten, and the poor animals escaped out of necessity to meet a very unwelcoming housemate and murderous cat.
I had never seen or known of the gerbils until they met their fate, and very regretfully had to inform the housemate of what had happened.
TL;DR
I didn’t know my housemate had gerbils, they escaped, and I fed them to my cat thinking they were mice.
MarudePoufte: That’s unfortunate about your roommates pets, but on the bright side you have an undeniable gift for the written word!
phizzlek: You’re telling me you didn’t cringe at “yeeted itself coherent to my vector”!?
Cthonos: Agreed, the whole post is overwritten
phizzlek: It has ‘school creative writing class’ vibes. People seem to love this on Reddit though so perhaps we’re out of touch!
Cthonos: Think you've hit the nail on the head with that, maybe half of the posts I see on here make me cringe; they feel like they were written by edgy 14 year olds.
| 6 | 185.833333 | |
1666661213 | 1666843788 | t3_ycsc6s | t5_2to41 | 211 | marshall105: Tifu by assuming a kid has paint on her face
So today after work, and I was getting ready to leave, one of my coworkers has her two daughters playing around while waiting for her, and when I was about to leave, I saw one of them has red marks on her face, and they were holding a paper with coloured heart shape, which was red. so I just assumed she had accidentally coloured on her face, so I jokingly asked what happened to you face? But then she went silent, and when I got a bit closer, I realized they were not paints from markers, but they were rashes, I suddenly felt horrible, and instantly apologized to her, and I went to her mom and explained what happened and apologized to her as well, and went back to the kids, explained that I thought they had paints on her face, and apologized again, fortunately the kid handled it like a champ and were understanding, and we just chat a little about how their school went and I made sure they were not upset anymore, then I left, I felt so bad while my other coworker laughed that I actually “went there”…
TLDR: I thought a kid had paint on her face and made a joke, but it turned out to be rashes, and I looked like a jerk.
CharieRarie: Ooops! I feel for you, but it was a genuine mistake and you apologised.
I asked a child at work if she had bumped herself, as it looked like she had a bruise on her forehead… “No it’s a birthmark!”
Thankfully she wasn’t upset, she just laughed at me and said people ask her a lot.
sigmund14: A: "Did you hit your leg somewhere, looks like you have a bruise"
B: "No...? Not that I know of."
---
If you have bruises from seemingly no reason, go to your doctor, might be something (leukemia, ...).
Ramona_Flours: im just on aspirin
| 4 | 52.75 | |
1666361898 | 1666428988 | t3_y9ux05 | t5_2to41 | 8,264 | FpNotFound: TIFU by giving up my dream since I was a child for my curriculum.
​
For as long as I can remember, I've been dreaming of going to Spain as an exchange student.
A couple of years ago, I became fascinated with Spain thanks to its culture and the online friends I made. Going as an exchange student would help me get into a good college.
I'm now in 11th grade, and I finally managed to get a spot in an exchange student programme directed to students interested in studying in Spain for a semester.
I was able to convince my parents about it and we started the payments this month.
The thing is that I am on the robotics team, which attends regional and world FIRST tournaments. I am in the programming area, and this year I decided to apply as a driver in this off-season. I didn't think I would get in, but in the end I did, and I participated in a competition in which my coaches saw that I had very good potential and talent in the area.
On the third day of the off-season tournament, my general coach pulled me aside and asked me if I could cancel my exchange programme and stay for the new season to participate in the world tournament. I refused since that programme has been a dream for me. However, he told me about the possibility of getting a scholarship at my dream college just by having my participation in a FIRST competition on my resume, plus that would make me the first female driver on the team.
He managed to convince me, and I started the process of getting my money back and cancelling the programme.
I had never regretted my decision until today... which was my deadline to cancel my exchange programme.
57 minutes ago, I entered the page and, right before I could click cancel, I broke down in tears.
There was no turning back
I've been sobbing for the last hour non-stop.
Have I done the right thing?
I regret my decision, but part of me knows that I would have regretted it just as much if my decision had been the other way around.
​
//Hey ppl This is an eddit:
i forgot to mention that my school requires students to participate in an exchange program to be able to graduate :c
I'm already trying to convince my school principal to open a programme for fall 2023 (which would be my last chance to go since January-July I have FIRST competitions).
TL;DR:
I've been dreaming of going as an exchange student to Spain. I was accepted into a programme, but my robotics coach persuaded me to stay because he believes I have the potential to compete in a world tournament. TIFU by giving up my exchange student dream for a spot in a robotics team
ChooseWisely83: You can always try and do a semester abroad in college, plenty of folks do it.
FpNotFound: I’m really looking forward to that, but unfortunately I’m in a high school program similar to IB which requires me to have an international experience to graduate from high school.
Coctyle: So how do you even have a choice?
FpNotFound: Not really:c
QuarantineTheIdiots: Can you do the exchange programme next year?
FpNotFound: Yes I think I can, I’m trying to convince my schools director to let me participate in fall 2023 but they’re not sure
Lets-B-Lets-B-Jolly: Get your robotics instructor to speak with the director about why he encouraged you to drop the exchange program and how it benefits your school. Someone in his position would have better luck getting you in next year's exchange program.
Another option would be to petition the school board to have the exchange appointment requirement changed to add a requirement to compete in an international team that involves travel, since this would also promote experience in the world and in other countries.
FpNotFound: That actually sounds like a good idea! I’ll tell my coach. Thank you!
jibjab23: As a threat you could tell them you'll program the robot to speak and only recognise commands in Spanish
fuckwatergivemewine: My name is Iñigo Robomontoya, You killd my programmer, prepare to die
jibjab23: You could certainly go with this but I was thinking more the annoying girl that speaks Spanish like she's practicing what she learnt in class on TikTok
fuckwatergivemewine: "Houla me jamo roboticah. Qeres rodar, levantar manouh o dispara projectill?"
BarryBadgernath1: "Por Fayver" -Peggy Hill
| 14 | 590.285714 | |
1666312852 | 1666554968 | t3_y9f1d4 | t5_2to41 | 78 | FrontAd8693: TIFU by downloading malware onto my laptop when I tried to get a game
I’d heard of a website where you can get “free” games and decided to try it out. So I clicked on the download link and then clicked accept on all the subsequent pop ups asking me to download other things. Next thing I know I have a whole bunch of new sketchy applications and no game. Then to make matters worse a pop up came up with no way to remove it. New browsers were opening, a very sketchy weather app appeared along with a bunch of other weird applications like false anti-virus software and whatnot; it was terrifying. There was rogueware, Trojan horses, all that kinda stuff. I freaked out but luckily a tech friend of mine helped me to remove everything by going to settings, downloading applications to scan etc… Definitely won’t be doing that again (P.S don’t use IGG games if you don’t know technology, trust me)
TL;DR: I tried to download a game and ended up messing up my laptop
axewhyzedd: Use uBlock to block the ads and Ovagames to download the games
FrontAd8693: I think I’m just gonna get games the legal way now 😅
axewhyzedd: That's the best way to avoid viruses then 😅
laplongejr: Note that some legal games can still cause damages to a computer. Notably, a dreamcast game loaded a virus when plugged into a computer to access the bundled screensaver. And some legal games anticheat system is borderline acting as a rootkit.
axewhyzedd: I heard Valorant's Vanguard Anti Cheat was acting as a rootkit. Not sure if it was true though.
laplongejr: Well, it is a question of control. An anticheat, by definition, is a software that needs to strip control from the user to give it to its developer.
A software bundled with a *malicious* piece of code to "strip control from the user to give it to its developer" is the practical definition of a rootkit.
So it depends on what is or isn't malicious, but computers don't care about that.
| 7 | 11.142857 | |
1666486616 | 1666504874 | t3_yb3sk6 | t5_2to41 | 874 | Lonely_Balance_4804: TIFU by going through my boyfriends phone.
Let me just start this off with saying i’m not that type of girlfriend. i’ve never felt the need to go through anyones phone i’ve always been trusting that my boyfriend will know his boundaries and if he crosses them then it’s kind of game over, he’s a grown man he knows right from wrong. Anyways, recently we haven’t been doing the deed often at all maybe once or twice a month, we are both in our 20s and i’m aware i have a higher drive than he does but i feel like a married old couple. we come home from work, eat then sleep that’s it.
So this was playing on my mind a lot and i expressed to my partner about the lack of activity between us and he said his same old excuses that he always says when he doesn’t want to, he’s tired, his back hurts, he’s just not in the mood etc etc. but for some reason i just wasn’t happy with this answer i just had a feeling, probably insecurity - his constant rejections just made me feel like he doesn’t find me attractive anymore because ive gained a little weight or the honeymoon phase has worn off.
So being a typical insecure female my mind instantly went to the conclusion he must be interested in someone else, whether he’s actually meeting up with them when i’m at work or if he’s messaging them etc but i just had to find out. so i went through his phone after he fell asleep, at first i found nothing, not even a message to a female friend he doesn’t like anyone else’s photos or anything! so i felt really stupid but at the last second i opened the browser, and was met with pages upon pages of p*rn.
Weird stuff too, things like “sh*male” and p*gging. i was in shock. the man who on countless occasions has turned me down because he’s not in the mood because of his famously low s*x drive is actually very active when i’m away. the shock overtook me a little bit and i got upset thinking this was confirmation that he no longer finds me attractive and he has to watch this type of stuff in order to release instead of doing literally anything with me? ive calmed down now it’s been a few days but ive been very snappy with him lately just can’t get the thought out of my head. i want to talk to him about this just to ask why but i know when. i ask him he will be embarrassed and then have a go at me for going through his phone rightfully so. i wish i never looked. Any advice on how to approach this?
Sorry if ive done this wrong i really only use reddit to view.
TL;DR i went through my partners phone and found something completely different to what i was looking for. now i can’t look at him the same.
DayumnDamnation: Maybe you should bring up the pegging stuff or something like that so he can be open about his desires. Maybe if you do him he will do you.
DayumnDamnation: Maybe suggest watching porn together. And don't be afraid to masturbate in your own bed even if he is right next to you. If he wakes up he might join you.
Lonely_Balance_4804: yeah, that’s true i think i need to do more to start sex and stuff, i’m just hesitant now as whenever i have made efforts to start it they’ve been clearly rejected but i think if i just start on my own i know he likes that, and then lead into doing whatever he wants to do. i’m definitely a pillow princess so i guess it’s my turn to give him what he wants instead of him doing all the hard work
Unique-Operation9766: It can be super fun and satisfying to be the one who initiates and is on top ;) If he says his back hurts, offering to give him a back massage while you both are naked is very fun, especially if you insert your flaps in his butt cheeks
rengothrowaway: Excuse me, but how does one insert one’s flaps into another’s butt cheeks? Am I missing something?
Unique-Operation9766: Chuckle. Spread his but cheeks and sit your puss on that spot.
rengothrowaway: Huh. TIL. Thank you for the explanation.
Unique-Operation9766: Maybe I'm just slap happy at this late hour, but your comments are cracking me up.
rengothrowaway: I am very slap happy atm, and also somewhat slow, I guess. The flap insertion act sounds pretty straight forward as you describe it, I just have never heard of such a thing, and couldn’t quite picture it. Is it a move you made up? Maybe I’m not as experienced as I thought, lol. Happy to make you laugh though!
Unique-Operation9766: Hee hee ;) I guess I did! (And can orgasm that way)
| 11 | 79.454545 | |
1666317063 | 1666318940 | t3_y9ghwc | t5_2to41 | 76 | throwway_1768: TIFU by confessing to my girlfriend that I wasn't actually a virgin
My girlfriend and I have been dating for 1 year. The majority of this was long distance. We only moved to the same city a couple of months ago. She is a virgin. Sex is something she does not take casually. She always joked about me not being experienced enough sexually. I did clear it up once that I have had some experience in the past and she brushed it off saying that it was so long ago it's like i never had any. She'd joke about me being a virgin from time to time and I could never gather the courage to bring up that I'd had sex in my previous relationship. I'm not sure why i did this. I think it was partly that my girlfriend believed that I wasn't completely over my previous relationship because any mention of it would upset her.
The topic of me being sexually inexperienced came up when we were drunk and then I confessed that I'd had sex with my previous girlfriend. Even this happened in the worst possible way, with her having to prod me after an uncomfortable silence.
Very understandably, she's decided to break up with me. I understand that it's a violation of her trust in me on so many different levels. This is a person who put in so much effort into loving me and this is how i pay them back.
TL;DR Lied to a long time girlfriend about being a virgin, ended up confessing when we were drunk and this broke our year long relationship overnight
Edit: To the people saying she's breaking up with me for not being a virgin, that isn't her issue. Her issue is that I lied to her about something she feels strongly about. The reason she's breaking up with me is because she can't trust me on anything anymore. Which I feel is fair, however harsh it may sound.
maurtshop: it's kinda scummy that you lied (by omission) about it for so long but like, you did allude to it in the past and she just ignored you. and if she ended a year long relationship over this one thing maybe you, uh, didnt fuck up as hard as you think you did. just a thought.
throwway_1768: I don't really know at this point. She just doesn't trust me anymore. She thinks it's disrespectful that I didn't tell her about it. All of these are feelings that I don't think are uncalled for.
maurtshop: i mean, did you explicitly say you were a virgin? did she ask? or did she make that assumption? i get youre going through it but it feels like you're leaving something out here.
throwway_1768: She never asked the question directly and I never said anything about it either. I wasn't sure if she was joking about me being a virgin till a few months back when I realised she'd assumed this for the longest time. Even before this, I'd tried telling her once that I'd had experience in an indirect way and she brushed it off. We never had a direct conversation about it.
maurtshop: yeah no dude that's a really weird assumption to make about a person. if it's that important to her and she didn't establish that out the gate esp when you tried to clear it up then.... idk what to say she just doesn't sound particularly mature or good with communication. you should've been more clear earlier for sure but i understand what an awkward sitch it put you in. i know youre going thru it rn but ngl it sounds like it wouldve imploded one way or another. not entirely your fault
throwway_1768: That's the thing, she's told me that it wouldn't have come to this if I didn't lie about it. I don't think she can get herself to trust me on anything anymore
maurtshop: that doesn't sound true tho. you guys both messed up, the communication here is just not it. you really really shouldn't be blaming yourself entirely when she didn't clue you into any of this. you're not a horrible person, you just sound like youre in your 20s
| 8 | 9.5 | |
1666536163 | 1666706712 | t3_ybjgr7 | t5_2to41 | 10,438 | Realistic_Attempt606: TIFU by calling my brother a Bastard
I f(18) have 2 brothers m(16) which I'll call MB and a younger brother m(12) ill call YB. I always butt heads with my brother MB, yesterday I cooked smth and was hoping there would still be some left, I was mildly disappointed when there wasn't. My brother was eating In the dining room when I asked him if he had any, he ate 2 portions, now I was even more disappointed. He should have only had one.
I heard my youngest brother YB come into the dining room, he yelled at MB cuz apperently he also ate the food YB made for himself. When I checked the kitchen for leftovers I found that someone drank my juice. I asked MB if it was him, he admitted it was. I then called him a Bastard, I said it half jokingly cuz I was kinda annoyed, he then smugly called me a *fucking whore*.
This wasnt the first time he called me such, so I texted my mother that he did it again.
I was cooking soup in the kitchen when my Dad came in and started berating me for calling him a bastard, and I asked him if he knew what MB called me. (I also burned my hand pretty badly on the soup I made, but that doesn't matter).5 minutes later Dad came down and said the next time we called eachother such things again he'd take away my pc.
2 hours later I wanted to go to my pc to do homework but it wouldn't turn on. I discovered that my power cabel was missing, I immediately got very furious. Its a very expensive pc and I don't want anyone messing with it accidentally breaking smth. I texted Dad that he should immediately return my cabel to me. To which he answered that he didn't have it.
So it was MB that took my cabel, turns out Dad took his pc while I was cooking the soup. And MB took revenge on my because I was the *catalyst*. I told him to immediately go to him and take the cabel before I confront MB myself, the last time my brother and i got in a fight he tried to break my Door down with a wrench.
Dad went to my brother, who refused to give the cabel back, so after a while, Dad started yelling that he'd take the router if MB didn't give the cabel back.
So now we reached the present, Dad took the router with him to work and will only be back on Friday, my brother still has my cabel, and I'm crying in my room out of anger. SORRY for Rambling a bit
So. TL;DR I called my brother a Bastard, he took my Pc cabel to punish me and my dad took the WiFi router to work till Friday.
rdicky58: I though the FU was going to be discovering he was an actual bastard
anshixx: Yep
nourhassoun1997: Yep
avalanche1228: Yep
ballrus_walsack: Yep
Alypius754: Yep
jakcspellgood: Yep
RobustEnigma: Yep
FamouslyUnknown: Yep
shahriar_wayne: yep
sophriony: Yep
FachtnaNuadha: Yep
scottyman112: yep
NexyPants: Yep
Ultronomy: Yep
Adorable-Carpenter95: Yep
redecided: 
Yep.
DavyWithTheGoodHair: Yep
nah-knee: Yep
Alandales: Yup
dr_whohouseholmes: Yep
BigJackHorner: Yep
HawkeyeJosh: Yep
SpoooodaLs: Yep
sir_darthcyan: Yep
AgentCooper86: Yep
T-Bear_0053: Yep
DynaSaurz: Yep
WildBoy-72: Yep
VIVEKKRISHNAA: Yep
pineappledreams-wg: Yep
baguette_AU: Yep
| 33 | 316.30303 | |
1666731583 | 1666817995 | t3_ydflts | t5_2to41 | 4,141 | [deleted]: TIFU by obsessing over a single outfit and causing a boyfriend to breakup with me.
[deleted]
Court-Baker: That seems like a shallow reason to break up with someone. It seems to me like you are better off.
Its better to find someone who loves you for who you are rather than what you wear.
CookiesLikeWhoa: To play the devils advocate:
SO is also free to seek those they find attractive.
I would get the uproar if it was something they were unable to control (height, birth mark, skin tone, etc.) but fashion seems pretty reasonable…
BangBangMeatMachine: I have a few issues with this take:
1. You don't break up with somoene you like and find attractive because of one bad outfit, even if they suddenly start wearing it all the time. You talk to them about it. You say "hey, you're great, this outfit is not great, maybe mix it up?" and move on. Someone who immediately jumps to break-up is either too stupid to understand that clothes can be changed, too impulsive and irrational to be worth dating, or...
2. It really seems like the fact that OP was willing to wear something not intensely girly made this guy see her differently. Like, he wants to have some perfect fantasy girl who only ever wears dresses. This either points to someone who is fetishizing femininity to the point of not really seeing the person he's dating as a real person, or he's so insecure about his sexuality that a woman in pants is too close to a dude for him to be comfortable.
Yes, he's allowed to want what he wants. And we're allowed to think OP is better off without him.
CookiesLikeWhoa: You make a lot of negative assumptions about SO.
I don’t think that’s arguing in good faith.
BangBangMeatMachine: Okay justify breaking up with someone over an outfit rather than just talking to them about it.
f1newhatever: The thing is, you don’t have to. If he was cheating, fine. But he gets to break up with her, he gets to make that decision and frankly doesn’t have to justify it to a single person. It isn’t inherently wrong to decide you no longer want to be in a relationship with someone.
BangBangMeatMachine: Yep. He gets to make the decision. And I get to decide it's unreasonable to break up with someone over an outfit.
f1newhatever: Fine, but you’re the one demanding someone *justify it* lol
BangBangMeatMachine: Only because that person refused to engage with any of the substance of my comment and accused me of arguing in bad faith just because I shared my impression of the situation. If they think my speculations were out-of-line, I want to know why they think it's reasonable to break up with someone over an outfit.
HurricaneCarti: They accused you of that because you made a ton of assumptions over a reddit post lol the OP even said there’s multiple reasons for the breakup
BangBangMeatMachine: Wisdom often looks like guesswork from the outside. Maybe you've never met anyone who fetishizes femininity, imagining the objects of their attraction as perfect sexy dolls, but there are plenty of them out there and they are the only people I know of who would suddenly feel like their attraction is gone because their GF dared to wear boots and pants for a couple days.
f1newhatever: You’re calling yourself straight up wise now? This all sounds like so much projection from your own personal experience.
It’s a *possible* reason but it’s far from being a perfectly fair assumption. I wouldn’t like seeing my bf in the same exact outfit every day of his life either.
BangBangMeatMachine: So you'd instantly break up with him? Or would you maybe have a conversation about it first, like a sensible person?
f1newhatever: Not even remotely the point I’m making, just saying it doesn’t make any sense to assume it must be a feminization fetish, which sounds like something you’re projecting about/have been a victim of, but… is absolutely not so common that it makes sense as the most likely answer.
BangBangMeatMachine: I mean, that's why there was an 'or' before it and I presented another entirely different explanation in addition.
Also, this isn't exactly the same, but very similar. Check out this whole discussion, if you think this kind of thing isn't common:
https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/y4sjoh/i\_wanna\_talk\_about\_the\_reverse\_misogynists\_and/
| 16 | 258.8125 | |
1666316186 | 1666731881 | t3_y9g77r | t5_2to41 | 3 | East_Independent_657: TIFU by sending Nudes
TIFU by sending Nudes
I apologize I advance for any grammar errors and other things like that as I am distressed and a little drunk.
Hey guys, this one might belong on TIFU. But there is definitely a legal component here I am an (M22) and was on a dating app called POF and matched with a Woman who let's call Ashley who was defiantly out of my league and her profile said (22f). The Person had a Houston area code and after asking where I was claimed that they lived in the same town as me (It is Not Huston). So I was a little thrown off but I moved forward as I don’t mind messing with porn bots on these dating apps. About a few days into messaging back and forth things got more sexual and we moved off the app and exchanged nudes. I have done this with a few other women on this app. (Me being the fedora-wearing kind of gentleman I am I always delete the nudes after I have finished.) And I didn’t think anything was different with this one. Well, yesterday the phone number that was associated with the girl started calling me and I was at work so I asked if I could call when I got off. She said sure and about 10 minutes later this number starts blowing up my phone and I was confused as hell. About 5 minutes later I start getting a bunch of texts from the number Ashley had given me from someone claiming to be Ashley’s father and that I was exchanging nudes with a 15-year-old. And amid all this chaos of this dude blowing up my phone while I was working, he started demanding 400 dollars for his wife’s medical bills. So, at this point, I assume that I was getting scammed and blocked the number. Then I get a call and text from someone who claimed to be from the PD Department in the town where I said I was in the original message. This Number was a Georgia area code again not where I live. So, I pick up the phone and listen to someone give me a rant on how I should be in jail, but I was that Ashley’s father was so graciously offering me a deal. And at this point, I’m freaking out because I know guys who have gone to prison for similar things. And so, I end up staying on the call while Ashley’s alleged father berated me on how I destroyed his life and he needs all this money for his wife’s medical bills cause Ashley had shoved her out the window or something along those lines. So, He gives me an ultimatum I give him whatever I have over cash app and make payments to help him with his wife’s bills or he will file a police report and get me thrown in jail. I ask him to put the officer back on and the officer gets on the phone. I ask the officer for the badge number cause at that point I would much rather just get rid of the whole situation, but I want to make sure that this threat is real and that I wasn’t getting scammed. The “officer” refuses to identify his badge and will not give me anything else other than his name “Detective Sanchez” Ashley’s father got back on the phone and started telling me I need to pay up and this is my last opportunity cause 400 is a lot cheaper than the court fees and “getting my ass destroyed in Prison”. So, I ask him to put the officer back on one more time and he does so I ask him once again to identify his badge number as he identified himself as an officer and he’s supposed to by state law he once again tells me he won’t identify himself as he only is acting as a mediator in this situation. Well, I Make a bluff and say that I need his badge number to confirm his identity to make sure I’m not being scammed, and I also drop that the call was being recorded. About 3 seconds after that the line goes dead.Well, I’m freaking out right now cause I don’t know how to handle this. And my gut tells me it was a scam but worried as hell. So it was the best put-together scam I have ever seen or I’m screwed so I figured id ask Reddit for advice as a 3rd party cause I can’t think straight.
TL;DR: I either am screwed Or this is the Most Advanced Scam
meco03211: [Not so] Fun fact! I know someone that was involved in a scam like this. Except he used it on underage kids. He's now serving decades in prison. It only took one person coming forward to police to unravel a child porn ring of like a couple dozen people.
Not saying it's the same here but maybe these people have been successful elsewhere. Could be helpful if you felt up to going to the cops yourself with this info.
hueybourbon: In jersey? A former co-worker of mine went to jail for posing as his teenage son and soliciting nudes.
| 3 | 1 | |
1666502051 | 1667138494 | t3_yb8vi2 | t5_2to41 | 54 | throwaway98271673: TIFU by fighting back when my sister attacked me
To start off I'm 15 and my sister is 17. My sister is super controlling and always has been she was always there to attack me and my other sister let's call her L and the 17 year old B. L and are playing volleyball outside at 8pm being quiet of course but having fun when B pulls into the neighborhood we go inside and she comes in berating us over being outside and I tel her off telling her she's not my mother and that she's 2 years older while she's walking upstairs with her stuff and does the same thing as I do but L wants approval from B so much that she will switch up on anyone for her. B comes back downstairs and gets close to where I'm sitting and begins yelling that she will be at my ass because she is in charge according to her. So tell her don't care what she thinks and stand up and she starts complaining I'm in her space because she was standing in my space to begin with I'm about 3-4 inches taller than her and I'm stronger so tell her to just back off and she pushed so I restrained her arms and she started trying to ick me so kept covering my balls with my knee never attacking her and end up tossing her just hard enough to put her in the opposite direction of where I'm going. She begins yeling and throwing things at me so swing and hit her arm and she starts yelling that she will call the cops and believe her over me. And tell her to just go somewhere she ends up in the kitchen and grabs a knife and waves it around. L was asking if she should call the cops and chooses to call out aunt instead she was there fast as we were still yelling at each other and tries to break it upL tells the story as attacked first was in the wrong the whole time while B told her story first and she admitted to pushing me first and trying to kick me. I had to take a walk and now my family is spamming me telling me I'm wrong I don't know what to do anymore I'm so done.TL;DR
felcher_650: Hey dude man I have an older sister who was bigger and stronger than me till I was about your age, we would fight sometimes physically and she would win. I don't condone violence but one day I won and she stopped fucking with me. Maybe today was that day for you my man.
throwaway98271673: Here's a little update she's been doing the things you've mentioned as she doesn't get physical with me but still loves to yell and scream thanks for the comment
felcher_650: Good shit man glad it's kinda working out for ya
| 4 | 13.5 | |
1666483305 | 1666563856 | t3_yb2n9m | t5_2to41 | 268 | WorriedOwner2007: Tifu by getting lost at a cross country meet
I (15f) had regionals Today in cross country. I had run at this course before. The first time I had been tailing my teammate up until the last half mile. I honestly wasn't paying attention to anything but her. I was planning on getting 26 minutes or faster for the meet Today.
I ran the first loop fine, once again, following someone. I was set to run a time somewhere between 26 and 27 minutes.
The second loop, however I was not so successful. Everyone was either far ahead of me or far behind me at this point. I got to the part where you were supposed to go back into the woods. I had no clue where to go.
First I tried running in a direction that looks like a path. It was a dead end. I tried another way, and this was wrong as well.
At this point, I gave up on finding it on my own, because I didn't want to accidentally cut the course.
I spent a few minutes yelling to to the top of this hill I had run down asking where to go.
Finally some coach heard me and yelled for me to run back up the hill. He told me to follow the path then go downhill and cut into the woods the same way I had the first loop.
I then had to re-do a half mile that I had already run.
I passed a teammate, got back down the hill, and realized I didn't remember how I had gotten into the woods for the first loop.
I paused, and waited a minute or two for the teammate to catch up to ask her which way to go.
She vaguely told me the way, but I went very slowly because I wasn't sure if she was right, or if I understood her.
Finally I got to the woods.
At this point, I just ran the rest of it relatively slowly because I have a foot injury, and didn't see any reason to injure it more if I wouldn't even get a good time.
I finished with a time of 40 minutes.
My parents spent around the last 10 minutes of it extremely concerned that I had gotten injured, and were about to go try to find me.
Tl;dr got lost at a cross country meet, ruined my time, emberassed myself by seeming stupid, and worried my parents
KansansKan: Runners shouldn’t have to guess where the course is.
DrunkLastKnight: Sadly I think its done on purpose, almost no meet I ever did was clear on markings especially if 2 sections are close to each other.
PuddleCrank: Every serious meet I have ever run, (high-school and College XC) had someone to direct traffic at every course fork, and was clearly marked. Some two team friendly on Tuesday probably not well market, but never a serious meet.
DrunkLastKnight: I only did cross in high school so can’t speak for anything outside of that while there were people at various points of the track I don’t remember all too often someone directing to make sure a wrong turn wasn’t made
Then the kicker other people were like we ran through the course and I’m like once isn’t something that is going to allow me to remember every twist and turn.
| 5 | 53.6 | |
1664614741 | 1664627424 | t3_xsqh9u | t5_2to41 | 1,902 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a boner during Grandma’s funeral
[deleted]
Cijj: Well, you were looking up NSFW material during your grandmas funeral.
You should’ve just cried. I don’t get the whole “pushing to not let that happen” thing anymore. Just cry sometimes, it feels good and it’s a necessary relief valve for your emotions. You know, like being horny just for other things.
jeromebettis11: If you're about to cry and don't want to, stop and think about baseball
loosecanon413: Context clues tell us OP is a Brit. So maybe cricket or something. Or maybe baseball will still work? Perhaps its boner-killing powers know no international boundaries?
dadjokes502: Margret Thatcher naked on a cold day
| 5 | 380.4 | |
1664615617 | 1664634087 | t3_xsqpyj | t5_2to41 | 201 | pettyclassymolassy: TIFU by kissing a guy on the cheek
TIFU by kissing a guy on the cheeks and then running away
So, I (20F) met this guy (23TM) on a dating app, like almost a year ago. We went on a couple of dates and it was mostly nice but then I shifted cities, and he shifted cities so nothing much. Recently, I shifted to a new city for my job and he was also there, and we went out a few times. It's mostly been decent, and I genuinely felt like he has no romantic interest in me. We just hung out as therapy friends (?) and talked about stuff with other people in our lives. The last date we went on was a little different, tho. We went to a nice garden, it was kinda romantic? We had street food, made impromptu plans, flirted a little bit. All in all, it was going great. Somewhere during the date he asked me if I was up for a kiss, and it really took me by surprise because I had no idea he was actually romantically interested in me. We were in a public place, so nothing really happened. But, and - here comes the fuck up - towards the end of the date, I was kinda sad to be leaving, and while we were in the train, I kissed him on the cheek. He was taken aback, and I. Well. I ran out the train. Legit. Ran out. Ughhhhh. I feel so cringe and wierd and teenagy about it like it was really really stupid. It was, like a stupid impulse? Idk. I apologised about it on text, and said that I should have asked first. He said he was okay, but idk. I felt like it was very invasive, and we were in a train so there is judgement of other people as well, idk. Like he said the people in the train were viewing him weirdly afterwards? (We live in a largely traditional, conservative, homophobic country, and this was in the ladies compartment) And anyway I feel like a dick for 1. Not asking and 2. Running like an idioit afterwards. Ugh. I apologised multiple times on text, and he said he was ok, but I don't think he is. We haven't talked after that and I think it's going to stay that way.
TL;DR : I kissed a guy i really like on the cheek in the train without his consent, and then ran away like a school girl.
UPDATE: Thanks for your advice guys, I realised that just me apolgising was making it wierd. He said he actually liked it and was smiling all the way home. We met again like, yesterday and kissed :)
Stock_Yesterday_4601: "largely traditional, conservative, honophobic country"
Poland, guessed it right?
pettyclassymolassy: Nope, not poland. We could play a guessing game about where this is, but the list of homophobic countries is too long :(
Stock_Yesterday_4601: let's do it then.
Lebanon
pettyclassymolassy: Nopes! Keep trying
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Give me a hint. Where is it located? Europe, Asia, Middle East, somewhere in the Americas?
pettyclassymolassy: Asia
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Philippines?
pettyclassymolassy: Nopes :D
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Malaysia
pettyclassymolassy: Nopes
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Indonesia!
pettyclassymolassy: No, but you're on the right path
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Oh man, I don't know. It's harder than I expected. So, it's in Southeast Asia?
pettyclassymolassy: South Asia
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Bangladesh!
pettyclassymolassy: You're so close!
Stock_Yesterday_4601: India
pettyclassymolassy: Bingo :D
Stock_Yesterday_4601: Duuude, it took a while, much more than I expected as a geography nerd :)
I always felt Indians all type like one. It's not a specific nation/country issue or something stereotypical, it's probably true for all countries, including my own. But for India it's even more 'hive-mind' when it comes to English, sorry if that sounds weird. This thoughts were the ones that kept me guessing like this, haha.
| 20 | 10.05 | |
1664615864 | 1664841928 | t3_xsqsea | t5_2to41 | 14,225 | Lord_Joshlee: TIFU by knocking on my gf(F20) parents door without them knowing me
OK, so I've been dating this girl for quite a while now, and things got really slow since she's in the military and has no time to meet up quite often which is fine, i work. later on our relationship our connection had been going down slow because her phone broke and she's broke so she'd dm on ig once a day from her semi-broken without sim spare phone she got from her friend which she uses their internet. So a week before the holidays in my country, I've visited her in her camp and we'd agreed to meet up in the holidays since we haven't had a proper chill time together. So things went on and she haven't contacted to me at all all the week and I got worried, that's where it went down and because that i had urge to meet her since we agreed meeting in holidays, so I came up with the idea to visit her, check on her if she's ok. and so on i dialed my one of my best friends(F24) and I asked her advice, my friend advice was: "Im not sure if shes into this kind of stuff but since she likes surprises and presents as you said, i dont think there should be any problems." So I came to her place with some chocolate and roses and knocked on the door and her father answered after few knocks and did sound kinda pissed and did not even opened the door to me, he asked who I am and told him my name, then he replied: E*** is not here, does she even know you?
I replied with my name and left my gift near the door.
2 days Afterwards she dm that her Instagram account has been blocked and she had no contact with anyone for the past week and she is really pissed and it's was inappropriate and she said that it was kinda creepy and obsessive since she, as she claims that we spoke about that kind sort of things and she did expect me to wait till she text back.(I am not denying it since im more aware now)
She did say that she got yelled by her father and it made the situation very uncomfortable for both of us since her intimate peaceful relationship with her parents got provoked.
I did indeed apologized and told her it was a one time mistake, she did accept the apologize but she did ask for some space to "restart"
After awhile of thinking a remembering the things we spoke about i got to a conclusion that I need to stop overthink, overreact and relax more often. Because those things can effect your mental health and relationships .
I never knew that thing like this will happen and my motives were very pure. I did not consider her legitimate privacy space and I just let my instrutive thoughts win and I did things without thinking twice.
Edit: you guys seem to doubt some information regarding my post, well we did in fact have FaceTime and whatsupp connections through out the first 3-2 months
TL;DR
I went to my gf parents home and my gf got yelled at because of me
ts2706: I think its time to move on, she doesn't seem that in to you im afraid.
xlpxchewy: Facts here, idk what quiete awhile means but I would imagine 2-3years+? And her father doesn't know you. BAIL
Lord_Joshlee: Almost 6 months
405134: Sometimes we accept the love we think we deserve..but based on your little snippet of how things are going.. you definitely deserve much better! I’ve heard a lot over the years “relationships are a lot of work. They’re hard work” and while I agree that this can be true sometimes, it’s not true all the time. The best relationships I’ve ever been in were easy going and a breath of fresh air. We cliqued, we were on the same page and it wasn’t a constant battle just to be together
tblqwlqv: Why did those best relationships end?
405134: My high school bf and I were 2 peas in a pod, we dated for 4 years but we both got accepted into different colleges that were very far apart. We decided the long distance thing would be too hard, but always left it open ended that we could/would get back together if we were ever living in the same area again.
The other relationship technically didn’t end, since we got married.. but we did divorce years later. He developed a bad drug problem and became a totally different person. Mean for the sake of being mean, blew through all our savings and in the end refused to get help for his problem, so for my mental well being I left that relationship.
Gernia: Ah, good on you for getting out. Drugs often change people and draws out all kind of evil and manipulation.
Hope you are doing better :)
405134: Yup yup , doing much better! I was very depressed for many years when the relationship started to fail and ultimately ended in divorce. I absolutely felt like he was my soulmate, my best friend and the drugs made him act/look unrecognizable. It was a painful life lesson, but I learned that “love” was not enough to make a relationship work. Love is not enough. All the love, devotion, loyalty I showed him.. none of it made a difference and he was choosing the drugs over me , day after day and it broke my heart. Each day that went by I would be like “are you going to try to fight for our relationship today, or are you choosing drugs today?” It made me profoundly sad , how could it not? And I wasn’t going to cast him aside for the drugs alone, he had a problem, I recognized that and if he tried to get help, even a little then maybe we could’ve managed to make it work. But then his personality started to change too, very mean and abusive
CatchyNameSomething: 
405134: Aw I love Boo!
CatchyNameSomething: I left my ex because of a drug problem that made him mean for the sake of being mean. I completely understand the place where you were and where it took you, broken heart and all. You can only do what you can so that one day you don’t ask yourself “what if”. You exhaust all possible ideas from crying to raging until the only one left is giving up. I’ll never forget that. I’m now married to the best guy for me and I’m blessed to have him. Been a long road. 🤗
405134: I’m glad to hear it ☺️
CatchyNameSomething: Happy for you too.
405134: I don’t remember where I heard this quote but it resonated with me (especially if your life has been unusually challenging) : “Life is a heck of a thing to happen to a person.”
CatchyNameSomething: That’s a good quote.
| 16 | 889.0625 | |
1665627147 | 1665707887 | t3_y2mlg4 | t5_2to41 | 5,000 | Educational_Glass_47: TIFU by wanting to cuddle with my friend
I (18 F) am neuroatypical and relatively averse to touch. I don’t hate it I just want it to be done as soon as it’s too much. It’s become a real joking point between me and my friends to say “you trying to hold my hand?” Or something along the lines of “wanna cuddle bb?” (It’s all a joke and we’re aware of that) but I was watching a horror show with one of them (m 19) and he pulled the “awe you wanna cuddle?” But I actually said yes this time. I proceeded to think about it all night and have come to the conclusion I have feelings for him. I refuse to put our friendship at risk so I’m gonna push it deep down.
TL;DR-I constantly joke about being romantically attracted to my friends but now I actually like one of them ….damn
Edit: there’s a lot of reasons I want to avoid telling him but a really big one is he said he has no interest in dating anyone *inexperienced* you all know what I mean.
Big-Hig: Life goes by to quick to not give it a shot. I married my friend 15 years ago still going strong.
jaythepizza: My friend confessed to me, then left for the armed forces and got a boyfriend immediately
Charming_Magazine_59: ok how are you both doing
_Typhoon_Delta_: jaythepizza has found a new friend, which he happily married and now has 2 kids. Lives in a cozy condo in California, works in financial sector.
Whereas the friend who left to armed forces was shortly sent to Vietnam and to this day is MIA
Charming_Magazine_59: is that true?
_Typhoon_Delta_: no
bamboojungles: Yeah he doesn’t work in health services not in the financial sector.
Letter-Past: I'm afraid none of it was true. \_Typhoon\_Delta\_ is one of the most gifted con artists the world has ever known. Growing up a penniless urchan in Victorian London will do that to a person, though
buyingwife: Is that true?
pokeamongo: Yes it’s true, this man has no dick.
| 11 | 454.545455 | |
1666741283 | 1666805044 | t3_ydj7si | t5_2to41 | 67 | whatshereforme: TIFU by asking my mom what my father ex wife told her
for context; my father never spoke of his ex wife who ill be calling ST. we knew he was married before but he never told us why they broke it off. well if you look at my other post you'll see my rant about me hating my father, that will kinda help you understand why i call him father not dad .
anyways my sister was telling my mom about the things my father use to do when he got mad at us (me, older sister, older brother[ brother wasnt his kid tho]). he would scream and say he wishes he didnt have us lol. and i brought up how his ex wife ST texted me a few days after he upped and left explaining how she should have warned my mom and how my father would talk to her(she never told me what he said tho) and how shes sorry and hopes we get better. well ST texted my mom and i asked what did she say and my mom dropped a FUCKING BOMB about how my father would call ST crying telling ST how much he hated his new life and how he would love to spend weekends with her. of course ST hated him because she would come home and be fucking smoking crack and snorting coke. (I NEVER KNEW THAT) and ST went on in details about where he would sit and call her.
i regret asking what she said. that makes me even hate him more because i went through hell my childhood having to hear and deal with getting told "i wish i never did this" or "yall are fucking annoying" or getting screamed at and things getting thrown around or near me.
TL/DR; TIFU by asking my mom what my father ex wife told her after he left
TuliBean: Your mom FU telling you. You don't deserve the v weight of or ins and outs of this. Please, remind yourself it isn't about you. There was no perfect combo that he got wrong. Your life and experience is valid, but this is their FU. You're surely a great kid if she has that trust. But that was also a lot you didn't have to and should never have heard. My stepmother told me in detail about my dad's infedilty when I was only a little older than you. About 20yrs later, I can't believe shit. I tried telling her as an adult about a series of sexual assaults she or my dad could have prevented. She did not even react, just said to call My dad. Yeah, no.
whatshereforme: i can understand but ive been wanting to cut my father out my ife since july 2020 but my sister has been wanting to see him(only for money). i have cu thim out my life this july after his wedding that i forced to go to by my sister(who im thinking about also cutting out my life for a different reason) and i know it should hav estayed with my mom but it doesnt make a difference because he is OUT my life for good, it gave me a much more bigger reason to not let him eb in my life. also what he did while i was in 8th grade put a bad tol on my mental and emotional health and he would make me cry a lot during school and a bunch more things.
TuliBean: When you are older, it will help to get him a little more. Didn't mean you're all compassionate about whatever, but you'll start to just see him as the fcked up adults they are. It's all going to come down to the story you tell yourself. You're over him and he can keep his money -that's my oldest brother, but he also wnt challenge my dad on anything. I do, but also for the FIRST time in adulthood my dad is helping me a fair bit financially as I deal with insane other shit (but also am helping him with some stuff too so it's ok with me). So instead of my dad's an Asshole, now it's that followed by 'because he left home tooo young, was 2 or more years younger than his peer, bullied, assaulted by other kids, then went to medical school at fsu where you are also treated like shit. So he made a lot of bad choices and has character flaws he won't allow himself to see and surfers because of it. He's probably very confused and I know is sad his kids aren't closer to him. Cry me a river, right? I know I am smart and resilient and there's a lot he did to make my childhood hard and ways he absolutely should have protected me, ways he's let me down. But It also helps me understand Parts of myself that need work, and now there is shit I will make sure to do as a parent and plenty to take note never to do. You can break the shtty dad,trauma cycle! Today just be glad and enjoy the parts of hs you can. You can't get away with some of its much longer. [As I thinking of being on random peoples property so my friend and I could roll down the massive hills. Super weird for me to do now.]
whatshereforme: well hes gonna die before i even turn 25 hes a drinker. but i really can do this on my own. my father took $500 and left my sahm with only 100 bucks, took the only good car and vanish, my mom is my only hero. he only showed me how much of a "man" he is
TuliBean: Moms are badass. Friend of mine had a kickers career an her ex cheated with an attorney who showed him how to takeall her money. She lost her job because the owner took another job, so while all that falls apart leaves her with a7 yr old and $5. Dad's can sometimes just totally divorce themselves from reality while Moms only wish they could long enough to pee in peace.
| 6 | 11.166667 | |
1666744273 | 1666795695 | t3_ydk8xg | t5_2to41 | 7,495 | Fit-Raccoon776: TIFU by ordering pizza on my boyfriends phone
Hey so i (F19) and my boyfriend (M21) have been together since we were teenagers and have told everything to each other for a bit of background.
Today I messed up by ordering pizza on my boyfriends phone so whenever my boyfriend got home from work at around 5 PM, he asked me to order pizza so I promptly got on his phone to order it, but had to look up the number and when I did, I saw that he had a tab open with car stuff on it and I didn’t want to delete that so I went to click on the new have one clicking on a new tab. I found that he had a porn tab open and me being curious. I clicked on it after further examination I realized that it was piss porn I’m not gonna go into detail about what the video was however to say I was distraught is an understatement. I didn’t freak out on him. I just simply asked what this was and he proceeded to turn bright red, grab his phone, his and his keys and wallet, and go out the door. He hasn’t been answering my text or calls, and I’m not sure what to do.
TL;DR When ordering a pizza, I found piss porn I want to tab that my boyfriend had open.
UPDATE!!!!!!
He got home about an hour or so ago and we talked through everything over pizza and pepsi. We are completely fine now and i won’t go into to much detail about what happened but we are already making jokes about it (he made the first one) and everything is ok!!
ANOTHER UPDATE!! Before anyone asks yes we tried it and neither of us were thrilled about it he was excited to try it at first but then realized that he didn’t actually like it. THATS WHY WE ARE MAKING JOKES. Also the fact i said when we were teenagers, we got together whenever i was 14 and he was 16 so that what i meant by that. We’ve been going strong 5 years tomorrow. Thank you to everyone who gave their input.
TuliBean: Probably embarrassed. I also know guys who jack off to shit they'd actually never want to do in real life, just like seeing extremes or something. You didn't fu, he did by leaving.
mittynuke: He probably would like this in real life
Apprehensive-Hand915: What makes you say that?
mittynuke: Why would someone be looking up images and videos of sexual fantasies that they wouldn’t want to experience personally? No idea why I’m being downvoted, I thought this was kind of obvious.
ForgotMyOldAccount7: Plenty of people look up stuff they'd never be interested in doing. The idea might be appealing for them to watch, but they'd never actually want to be involved in it.
mittynuke: I guess but if I had to put money on it I’d bet OP is interested in trying this IRL
ForgotMyOldAccount7: Why would you make that assumption?
mittynuke: Just an assumption. I don’t know OP, I don’t know the boyfriend. I just assume if someone is looking at kink porn they probably have a greater than zero percent interest in that kink. That’s why it’s a bet (“put money on it”) and not something I’m saying is definitely true.
ForgotMyOldAccount7: But you'd only bet on something if you're confident that you'll be correct, right? Again, people look at plenty of things they have no plans of doing in real life all the time.
mittynuke: Yeah, but there’s always a risk of being wrong with a bet. I just think it’s more than likely OP’s bf is into this. I don’t have a scientific analysis. Just a feeling. Could be completely wrong.
ForgotMyOldAccount7: So, going off of *absolutely nothing,* you're confident that you're correct and would be willing to put money on it. Don't you see how silly that sounds?
mittynuke: Isn’t that the nature of betting? I didn’t say I’d put all of my life savings on it. But I’d put $50 or something like that on it. And I’m not going off “absolutely nothing”. Dude is looking at kink porn. My assumption is dude is turned on by that kink. Not enough to stake my life on it but enough to put a couple bucks on it. I don’t think that’s an unreasonable bet at all. But I also suck at gambling and never do it because I don’t like losing money so this is more hypothetical than anything.
| 13 | 576.538462 | |
1666745649 | 1666748202 | t3_ydkppl | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing
[deleted]
opschief0299: You're high right now, aren't you?
Purple-District-2577: Lol no. I wasn’t high. I don’t smoke weed. I just vape
opschief0299: Aha! Just what somebody who's high would say!
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1666501602 | 1666518671 | t3_yb8qje | t5_2to41 | 431 | Aurielie_: TIFU by forgetting I ALSO have a microphone
To keep the intro short, I'm a sales analyst for a business many people may be familiar with and I'm at a lot of board meetings as it's the corporate end of things. Lately, it's been a hybrid work environment so a lot of are meetings are hybrids. We're outfitted with microphones for this occasion. Little bluetooth clip-ons like you'd never notice on your favorite YouTuber. I'll be frank, I hate the company but they pay my bills. That aside, when you have a bunch of bald eggheads in a room talking numbers for hours it can get pretty dull. I'm usually very good about this sort of thing, and there's no hitch
Today however, I just wasn't having it. We had a board meeting in which a lot of the talk was about if the hybrid/full-remote workplace was a good idea and somehow (I zoned out, I genuinely missed this part of the argument), these eggheaded bastards landed on no. I heard that part and kind of shrunk in my chair because the opportunity to be in the comfort of my home really does balance out how much this job makes you want to commit unalive. I don't give my input on things usually, I tend to let the execs duke it out but they genuinely for a moment seemed like they'd drop it and that was strike one.
Next, pay. Oh the greatest point of contention. A lot of facilities the lower-tier execs visited were in god awful disrepair and if there's anything these folks like to do, it's not take accountability for giving the workers what they need and clear-cut metrics to achieve. Pay cuts were talked about and it's convenient that the bar was drawn at my level (Sales Analyst I) and below. I excused myself and **thought** I'd left my microphone in the room but actually still had it on me as I went to the restroom. Didn't need to use it, thankfully. But I did heavily vent how stupid of a discussion that was, pointed out how asinine it is that they'd cut everyone's pay but their own alongside calling certain folks by name a variety of descriptive nomenclature..really flexed that writer in me... I really **went in**. Until I dropped my microphone that is, literally. Yeah, it was on me the whole time. Debated hard about going back. Honestly thought they'd fire me over PA or something. But no, they talked it up in there until I returned and said:
*"Ms. Aurielie\_, it's clear you feel very strongly on the matter given your colorful expression, what would you suggest we do when the facilities are failing to meet our expectations?"*
A part of me defecated from the soul for a moment. This is a really good job, and I'd hate for what was meant to be a candid outburst to be something that ended it. They made it clear they understand my frustrations and would hear me out, but I did get a bit of chewing out from our superiors who got second-hand embarrassment from hearing what I had to say. Did throw in some spineless namecalling. My heap of paperwork is high, luckily none of it corrective action adjacent. I did propose much better alternatives, and I wish I could disclose the brand so the workers could thank me for *potentially* saving their pockets but there's no telling if they listened. I'm still a little shook up from it, it is probably my greatest blunder in life so far lol.
TL;DR - Forgot clip-on mic was attached when I expressed vehement disagreement for corporate executives boneheaded plans. They heard it all, I am in the doghouse but still employed!
Lactobeezor: Hope it doesn't do you any harm but these ass hole company's need to here things like this. If you are going to cut pay do it from the top down.
Aurielie_: Amen. It's not been awful but I definitely can feel the malice in the mountain of paperwork lol
otas1: Start searching for a new job? If you find something better good if not you are at least still employed.
Aurielie_: Oh yeah, I've definitely got a couple of contingency plans lined up
| 5 | 86.2 | |
1666743063 | 1666823782 | t3_ydju19 | t5_2to41 | 102 | tocbsc: TIFU by having a mint with my lunch and going to the other side of campus
This happened when l (18M) was waiting for my brother (18M) to get out of class. We both go to college, but my class ends earlier. My class ended earlier than expected so I decided to go to Chick-fil-A for lunch. I was already feeling like I needed to go before that, though.
I also carry a pack of mints with me because I like to go through them. I go through them practically like candy.
I order my Chick-fil-A, got it quick as the building was relatively empty. Keep in mind I am a big guy, so I like me some chicken nuggets. My drink for this meal was a large Pepsi, about the same size as those gas station cups you use for the ICEE machine. My food was good, and I downed the Pepsi rather quickly. I had a mint to cover up my breath from the food as my parents were on the way. I know the way around campus well enough to find my way to each building, so I knew which building my parents would arrive at.
Suddenly, I feel my stomach rumbling.
Oh, boy. I guess the mint caused a reaction with the soda while it was coming down, because I needed to go. I quickly got up, deciding I needed to go somewhere secluded to take a shit. I left Chick-fil-A in a hurry after seeing some of my friends who were leaving campus. I saw that the library was close, and despite some of the bathrooms barely being used, I assumed this would barely be touched too.
I entered the library, immediately bolting towards the elevator. I hit the button for the fourth floor as fast as I could, knowing that it was a quiet study room. Someone with me was going to the third floor, but for some reason when the elevator got to the third floor, it didn’t close that fast. The ride was fast getting up, but damn, I needed to go and it wasn’t holding in any longer. The door opened, and I was within safety’s reach
I made my way to the handicap stall so people couldn’t see my agony. I stand over the toilet, my pants down, but it was too late. My shit was fighting to get out of my tightly clenched cheeks, and my shorts got caught between my legs. Luckily, my ass was over the toilet, so I was able to get it on as soon as shit started coming out.
Unfortunately, that explosive shit didn’t all land in the toilet after I realize that it somehow missed my pants. I turn around and notice that shit hit the porcelain behind the seat and partly on the wall. I grabbed toilet paper and those brown paper towels and did my best to cleanup the shit.
Here I am, sitting on the toilet in my house, remembering there is a bathroom in the Chick-fil-A. I could have avoided all of this if I remembered about the bathroom.
TLDR: I took a mint after drinking Pepsi and eating lunch that my bowels were trying to shit it all out like those explosions. I speed walked all the way to the library, hoping I could make it to the bathroom. I couldn’t hold it in until I sat down, so things got explosive on the back of the toilet and wall.
Lost_Pomegranate1680: Wouldn't cause a reaction like that, much more likely to be food poisoning from the CFA. Or just all the oils, or any number of other things.
​
It's like saying if you eat pop rocks and soda too close together your stomach will explode. Nothing bad actually happens, and it definitely won't rocket through your whole GI system and shoot out the other end. Much more likely you effectively dosed yourself with a laxative (the sweeteners in mints are almost all laxatives)
TheW83: If he downs those mints like candy I'd suspect they probably have malitol in them. The same ingredient that has cursed those who have happened upon certain sugar free gummies.
tocbsc: I don’t know what’s in an icebreaker but I gotta have that fresh breath
TheW83: Dude the main ingredients are sorbitol and malitol. You're giving yourself severe diarrhea. I suggest limiting consumption to a few per day. A few icebreakers, not a few packs.
| 5 | 20.4 | |
1666411632 | 1666488796 | t3_yadm8m | t5_2to41 | 10,085 | tobleroned: TIFU by letting my friend pepper spray my nuts
So it turns out I’m a complete idiot. I have a kink for ball play and pain and my mate bought a bottle of pepper spray for self defence. And smart me thought it would be a good idea to have him spray my groin.
He sprayed my groin and I immediately vomited 3 times and spent the next 30 minutes in the foetal position in the shower with cold water running over me. I am currently curled up in bed and my entire upper thighs to belly button are red and burning. The pain comes in intense horrible waves.
TLDR/ I’m an idiot who didn’t think a very strong and obviously painful self defence weapon wouldn’t cause excruciating pain on the most delicate part of my body
Edit: people seem to be wondering if my friend was a consenting partner in this. Believe or not I did not just ask him to pepper spray my nuts with no context provided. He is well aware of my kinks
ZedBaby: Yep. You are *indeed* a complete idiot 😂.
DickButtDancer: You’ve been tobler-owned
swanson_skim_milk: LMFAO if I had awards this would get one!
suited2121: There, now you can buy some awards.
swanson_skim_milk: Holy shitballs thank you!
Arena-Grenade: Holup, what just happened?
IGotMyPopcorn: Gold Award comes with Reddit Coins.
ashleebryn: I don't understand any of it 🤷♀️
Mwahaha_790: Same tbh
| 10 | 1,008.5 | |
1666766486 | 1666822886 | t3_ydr462 | t5_2to41 | 20 | Accomplished_Run4389: TIFU by getting suspended for 2 days by my front office in school.
I (13M) am an African American student at (lets call it radio junior high.) who had got suspended for 2 days here. I was in math class minding my business until my teacher had told me to go to the main office, which posed no problem to me. As i went down there, the people of the front office had stopped me and made me get a new ID (yes, we have id's.) so i had asked them if i could maybe do a different alternative and call my mother to let her bring the Id here, even then, the Id isn't that important. So, although i was talking to them in a calm manner and not showing any signs of rebellion, they had threatened to call the police on me without thinking twice before calling my parents. This is where i started getting angry, and even then now the black peers agree that could have been a racially motivated action. They then told me to sit in the office conference room because of that, leading into more anger. They had then called my mother who had came over to the school didn't even let me talk for most of the part, so i tried to be the bigger person and stand up in my seat and she got furious at me, telling me to stay in my place because i am but a child/teenager. So because i also talked to my dad about it he is furious at me too and i cant go to any fun school events for a bit, and because my mother is also African American.... im sure you can piece the parts together. but this moment alone made me contemplate my skin color and almost made me have suicidal thoughts because i had to also go get my stuff from my math class and because i have a horrible way of controlling my anger, i stormed into the class just stomping and saying things that were muffled under my voice, and because of that behavior people had distanced themselves away from me because i showed aggressive behavior, which is completely my fault. It also took a toll on my mental health and thinking if my peers hate me, if i am unwanted at this school, etc. Could i admit that i was wrong in parts of this? For sure. Could me, my peers, and even my own parents say that what they did (almost calling the police on me for no reason.) is F'ed up? For sure as well. So TL;DR I Almost had the police called on me because of an id and now i have restrictions for a bit now.
Ill check back in a bit to see if i got feedback.
justl00kingthrowaway: I seriously doubt the legitimacy of this post.
Accomplished_Run4389: it is very much real.
justl00kingthrowaway: Sorry still don't buy it. You write in a voice that I can't imagine any 13yro would and not even like an You sound European to me. Nothing is wrong with your sentence structure or grammar but the tone it just not fitting the person you say you are, It's just off. And if anything you should post this in a teenager subreddit to be honest. If true then it is TIFU but you would be better severed in a age appropriate forum. I'm from a time in which there weren't police in schools and I never had the threat of police being called. I did some stupid shit that today would of had me arrested.
Accomplished_Run4389: One of the greatest compliments i have ever received, somebody thinks im older and not black because i actually have good literature! But i can agree with the teenage subreddit part though.
justl00kingthrowaway: You know there are black people in Europe? Just kidding but I didn't really think about that part of your story. And there you go again. Who says "because i actually have good literature" it doesn't sound right in my head as an American but then again English is my second language, bad English is my native tongue.
Accomplished_Run4389: its cool.
| 7 | 2.857143 | |
1666495220 | 1666718193 | t3_yb6ogi | t5_2to41 | 33 | Zealousideal_Ice_480: tifu by asking my friend to marry me
it started a few months ago when i first became friends with my ex's best friend, we started to hang out alot and one time we were at the mall and i asked him if he wanted to sleep over at my place, he said "sure", when we got there we were just hanging out playing card games, board games, talking yk. later in the evening i asked him if i could hug him because at that point i hadnt yet and i wanted to know what it was like, and i hugged him and we went back to talking, playing games. we were talking, i was sitting cross legged and he was laying down beside me, and he reaches his arms out, im very confused because he didnt seem like he enjoyed physical contact very much. he then grabbed me to cuddle with me, im shocked but i had a little crush on him so i let it happen, after awhile of switching positions and whatnot he asks me if i want to kiss him, i was stunned and i didnt say yes but i didnt say no, he started to kiss me and i stopped him after a moment and said it felt odd to me, then we went back to cuddling. we continued to chat and stuff and when we both decided to sleep we cuddled through the night. the next day was somewhat awkward and when he left he texted me saying "last night was just between us right?" i responded saying "yes, ofc" we hung out a few more times before school started again and we sorta drifted apart. i also got back together with my boyfriend at that point. 3ish months have passed since i last hung out with the dude and i broke up with my boyfriend again for good, i asked him if he wanted to hangout again sometime, he said "yeah sure" and we hung out at his place, it was really awkward and we just watched tv together, when i left i had said "it was nice hanging out again, ive missed you" with a smile, he said it back but very blankly and hesitantly, at the point almost everyone i knew was like "he wouldnt cuddle with you and crap if he didnt like you". a few days later he asked me for condoms then once i said yeah sure ill bring some for you, he said "ty love you" and i was out with frends i told them and then they dared me to ask him to marry me, as an obvious joke. i did it, but he didnt take it as a joke, he responded with "wtf no, im not fucking into you". i know when to take a hint so i stopped talking to him.
tl;dr: i thought my crush liked me, in reality he doesnt even want a friendship with me
SegFaultX: I think it was more so that you aren't even dating or anything and you just asked him to marry you out of the blue, so he thought you were one of those crazy stalker girls.
Zealousideal_Ice_480: true but im 14, so too young for marriage or a proposal to mean anything, its always jokes yk?
BobIsAMediocreGuy: 💀💀💀
bro is 14 and gets more physical contact than me
Right-Association-51: 14 and has an ex, I’m not even there yet 💀
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1666492109 | 1666579123 | t3_yb5nia | t5_2to41 | 3,025 | wsiw123: TIFU by not having foresight before a two week vacation.
(Typing on mobile if it matters)
It is the wee hours of the morning. Partner and I arrive home from a two week trip abroad. Before we left, we powered down the entire house because it seemed like a good idea.
(Do you, reader, have the foresight we lacked?)
We enter and it’s great to be home (but not great to have to get back to reality) but I notice an unusual smell.
We powered down the house. The power that kept the fridge and freezer running. I open the fridge and it’s unpleasant but not horrible (we are at least smart enough to get rid of food before leaving the country for an extended period of time). THE FREEZER….why must we have been so stupid. I open it and immediately a rotten smell fills the air, I catch a glimpse of the horror inside (the mold) and my partner quickly tells me to shut the door.
Of course coming back from abroad means we have some house chores to get done tomorrow (laundry and unpacking) but a deep fridge clean and disinfect was not something we planned for.
Tldr- turned off our homes power before leaving abroad for two week. Come home to rotting freezer and fridge situation. We goofed real bad.
Update and more context if anyone is interested.
The day of the flight was a super hectic day and cutting the power wasn’t ever in the plan but after we turned off the gas we randomly thought to turn off the power (it was a thoughtless decision and there was really no motive) and we were both so exhausted that neither of us was able to think of the clearly obvious reason not to do this. Major brain fart moment but life goes on and we’ll be fine.
There are no cold winters here (but boy do I miss those) so pipes were not a concern…only the fridge.
Worst case scenario, we upgrade the fridge to what will be our future family fridge (we would likely need to make this purchase in the next few years anyways). We’ll call a technician to see if we can replace some parts that we couldn’t get into to clean and go from there.
Anyways, this was a big dumb but we can laugh about it and in a week from now all will be normal again and we’ll get this funny memory to look back on.
Also, there were some sleep deprivation grammar errors that I touched up.
Stay healthy, friends.
adapt2: Never turn off heat during winter no matter how long you won't be home for. Unless of course you are sadistic and enjoy watching water pipes burst.
zhantoo: Or you live a place where it will not get anywhere near cold enough for this.
ifyoureallyneedtoo: Or you live in a place where the energy bills will bankrupt you.
Usof1985: If you're taking a 2 week international vacation then you can probably afford to leave the heat or A/C on minimum settings while you're gone.
DestoyerOfWords: Yeah, you don't have to make it comfortable inside, just get to the point of not messing anything up.
Usof1985: Exactly, heat can really mess up electronics.
NotAlwaysATroll: Most electrical components are rated for use at upwards of 120 centigrade. While extended periods of higher temps can cause component life cycles to shorten its pretty unlikely any typical heat will cause issues.
Usof1985: SSDs are usually rated with a max temperature of about 70°C. HDDs are even lower at alloy 45-50 on average. LCDs have even lower max ratings.
Sure the processors and capacitors will survive but you could be causing permanent damage or shortening the life of storage devices and screens. It might not instantly die but I can tell you from personal experience that sustained heat will damage electronics. I lost a fantastic monitor because my A/C went out one summer and my room stayed about 130°F for a few weeks. I know other people that left TVs in storage units only to pull out non-functional screens.
InternationalBunch22: Thank you for teaching me something I should’ve already known.
Usof1985: You're welcome, it's not really something you think about so it's understandable too overlook. I've left my smartwatch in my car charging before and come out to it being shut off from overheating.
InternationalBunch22: Now that you mention it I’ve had that happen to me once or twice during the summer.
Does heat like that also affect the battery health on electronics?
| 12 | 252.083333 | |
1666468062 | 1666551311 | t3_yawsa0 | t5_2to41 | 12,128 | Ok-Watch8193: TIFU Card Collection Ending Update
https://rareddit.com/r/tifu/comments/wrmbvx/tifu_update_reporting_ex_friend_who_burnt_8000/
For those wanting past posts just look up Ex friend who burnt 8000$ worth of Pokémon cards rareddit.
For those patiently waiting for an update here I am.
Starting off, maybe two weeks after my last post I was assaulted. I was in the hospital for a few days but all in all it was minor fracture on my rib and a broken finger. This was done by Cole and a friend of his.
Cole was arrested and I was just terrified of all of the attention I was getting from the people in my life. News articles and YouTube videos. It didn’t take long for it to swirl around my school. I deleted most the posts but you can find them still.
I never wanted this to blow up as much as I did because the attention that it got wasn’t really worth it. For everyone who messaged me asking for an update I gave it to them. Telling them Cole was arrested and that he’s being charged with assault.
I thank everyone who messaged me and helped me and wanted updates etc.
For the justice everyone’s been waiting for, the courtroom wasn’t all that, it wasn’t like the movies where there was an Aha gotcha moment. Cole painted me as an obsessed monster, that he did me a favor as his true friend. Because Cole was a first time offender for the assault he got a year probation and a fine. In the small claims court he was ordered to pay 6k back because it was all I could technically prove he destroyed. The police actually pulled the video from his laptop and in the video you could see heaps of cards being burnt. But because they couldn’t be properly identified there wasn’t much that could be done.
I’m not angry anymore, At first I was destroyed but after everything that’s happened and all the media I knew there was people out there who cared.
I know you’re reading this, the internet knows you as Cole, I’ve done my best not to doxx you and I’ve done a pretty good job. You took something you knew I loved and destroyed it, when in reality the only thing you destroyed was our friendship. I forgive you for what you did, I won’t ever forget what you did. But go ahead, create a video on your YouTube explaining your side of events. I bet it would go viral, is that what you want? To go viral? Make a video, send me the link and I’ll post it here for everyone to see. Let the people make their own decision on who the real monster is. I mean there is two sides to every story right? Anyway, good luck and I hope both sides of your pillows are always warm.
I started recollecting Pokémon cards. I mean it’s in no way as impressive as it was but I’m rebuilding it. I’m also making a lot of new friends, applying to colleges, moving on. I know this isn’t the pro justice pro revenge ending everyone wanted. But it’s the ending I was given.
Thank you all for staying with me, for the 10 million people who read my original post, thanks for listening.
TLDR: Cole gets a year probation and a fine while I move on with my life.
Freecook4Sale: Glad things kinda got worked out for you.
Ok-Watch8193: They’ve worked out mainly, however Cole said he wants to post his own side of the story on YouTube. So if he does post it I’ll link it here. Thanks for the kindness ❤️
alwaysmyfault: Assuming everything you said is true, I can't imagine there's any kind of video he could post that would make himself look good.
"Yeah, I burned his Pokemon cards! So what? It's a kids game! He needs to grow up!"
I don't even play/watch/follow Pokemon, but I know that there are millions of people who do, of all ages.
"Yeah, me and my buddies beat him up, but he had it coming! He shouldn't have ratted me out for burning his stuff!"
Good luck getting anyone to take your side when you beat the shit out of someone.
Ok-Watch8193: Well if he does post I’ll let you guys have your own opinion. I mean, I did nothing wrong whatsoever. I mean you could say I was a little obsessed with Pokémon, and yeah I might’ve been a clingy friend, but I never did anything to hurt him because I thought he was my best friend.
pileodung: Being a clingy friend doesn't justify someone burning your property
Chronox2040: Piece of shit didn’t even attempted to pay back and for sure won’t. It might be that he even pocketed the valuable ones, burned the bulk, and will resell what he kept later in the secondary market and make profit out of it.
ScumbagLady: Off subject kinda, but what is this "secondary market" you speak of?
Sincerely,
Woman holding on to some good cards but could use the money
erikk00: Ummm eBay? There's probably better marketplaces dedicated to specifically Pokémon cards but eBay will easily convert your cards to money.
ScumbagLady: Oh I was thinking you meant that they were about to be going up in value again. I want those 2020 selling prices back before I part with my mega Charizards.
I was really kicking myself for missing that window. Now there aren't as many people bidding up the prices like there was then.
| 10 | 1,212.8 | |
1666779454 | 1666779719 | t3_yduf5s | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my girlfriend
[deleted]
Pandering_Panda7879: In this whole text, the only punctuation mark you used is one single, lonely question mark. Why?
UnkownKatYT7: I hat punctuation it just annoys me I thought about putting it in but thought no one would care
| 3 | 0 | |
1666738326 | 1667191790 | t3_ydi65f | t5_2to41 | 61 | onefootback: TIFU by calling my mom a bitch
TL;DR at bottom
i’ve (16F) been falling behind with my school work lately and my parents have really been on my ass about it but especially my mom ever since my teacher called her about my overdue work. because i still have like 3 assignments that i have to do, today immediately after school she made me sit and stay at the dinner table until i was done working on my homework.
the issue with that is i had made plans for after school with my friends and stupidly didn’t think to ask for permission to go until the day of. of course when i asked her if i can go she said no and despite my begging it was still a no. i spent like 10 minutes trying to explain to her that i could just finish the rest of my work when i get home and i can still get it all done today but she was literally having none of it and was starting to raise her voice (out of annoyance i guess) which is something i really hate.
at that point i was feeling disappointed for having to cancel on my friends such short notice and annoyed because i couldn’t go even though i thought of a compromise. while she was leaving the room and when i assumed she was no longer in ear shot i called her bitch under my breath by mostly in a whisper, she didn’t come charging into the room or anything so i thought everything was fine and dandy.
fast forward a little bit to my dad coming home, everything was fine at first, my parents let me go from the table to my room to do my work because everyone was downstairs making noise and i was actually working on my stuff. so anyway, i’m doing my work when all of a sudden my dad comes into my room asking me how i’m doing and being all nice at first which is why i didn’t think anything of it, and then he starts asking me happened earlier.
i was genuinely super confused at first because i had forgotten about all that so i responded in a way that he interpreted as “playing dumb”. he told me not to play dumb and said that he had heard i called my mom something, this is when i was like ohh shit inside my head. verbally though, i just asked him what he’s talking about and he started going on about how i called her a bitch and i have no right to be talking about my mother like that and he’s gonna teach me how to be respectful and blah blah blah.
once i realized the extent of the situation i had gotten really defence and was obviously scared shitless, i started saying how she calls me a bitch all the time and i didn’t mean it and basically any excuse i can think of cuz my dad is scary when he’s mad and i just wanted to get out of it. he was hearing none of it and ended up beating me with his belt which i saw coming but still hurt like a bitch.
and to top it all off he made me apologize to my mom for calling her a bitch and she didn’t even accept the apology she just said like the next time i call her some shit like that she’ll fuck me up. super shitty day but at least i’ll remember to keep my mouth shut because arguing with my parents is like arguing with a brick wall
TL;DR - called my mom a bitch because she wouldn’t let me go out with my friends, dad fucked me up
dicklover_276: I don't know, this is really 50/50. on one hand, I don't agree with spanking but on another, you didn't do work and still expected to go out? I don't know about other people's parents, but you don't get rewarded for not doing work. again, I don't agree with your parents reaction to everything and from the way you describe your dad, they probably don't treat you that well but actions have consequences.
Kuriousknight: It’s not spanking when’s she 16 and a grown man hits her with a belt. It’s assault. It’s abuse. Do not minimize it by calling it a spanking.
dicklover_276: I mean sure, but she's a child and she did something wrong and received a punishment. I don't agree with him hitting her but for some households, that's the punishment. if it was a closed fist or anything like that then yes, 100 percent abuse but it wasn't.
Far_Software7936: The not letting her go out and the dad lecturing her about language was enough punishment, if they stopped right there they would’ve been good parents. This was abuse. Assaulting your child in any way shape or form no matter the circumstances in abuse. It doesn’t do anything
dicklover_276: I agree that the lecturing part was enough, but, again, thats the way they chose to punish their daughter, my opinion doesnt matter. People parent in different ways, if spanking works for them, it works. You can't control the way people parent and can't say they're abusive if they don't do it that way you do it.
Far_Software7936: I can’t control it, but clearly it doesn’t work as they have done it many times it sounds like from what OP said and it didn’t change behavior, and I can say they are abusive, they are. Hitting your children is abuse, it’s not a “parenting style” it’s abuse, not everyone has to do it the way I do it, but they don’t gotta be abusive.
dicklover_276: Okay, I so agree that OPs parents treat her badly because no kid who is treated well would ever describe their parent as scary but I don't think it's the spanking that makes them abusive. A majority of people spank their kids, including my own parents, but that doesn't mean its abusive. I don't think spanking is effective but I also don't think it's abuse or assault
perkasami: But she wasn't getting spanked. She was getting whipped with a belt by a grown man that is supposed to love, guide, and care for her, and it's apparently not the first time. She's clearly apprehensive and scared of him when he's angry. She says that her mom has been calling her a bitch, so she also seems to be regularly called demeaning insults and cursed at by at least her mom, another person who is supposed to love, guide, and care for her. So she's being physically and verbally abused. It's no wonder she's not very engaged with her school work.
Edit: I do think spanking is abuse, though. If they're too young to reason with, why are you hitting them? If they're old enough to reason with, why are you hitting them? It's wrong to hit your spouse to correct their behavior, so why is it okay to hit children? You don't hit your employees to correct their behavior, so why is it okay to hit your children?
dicklover_276: Okay, I agree with everything you are saying here. OPs parents are abusive not only emotionally but also physically. I kinda realized that I've been being biased because I didn't want to admit that my parents may have been abusive.
perkasami: Nobody wants to think that about their parents, especially if most of the time everything else was fine. Chances are they didn't know any better. But we as a society do know better now. There are far better parenting techniques that never involve hitting/striking/spanking children.
| 11 | 5.545455 | |
1666705222 | 1666782641 | t3_yd53wq | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing Cbat for my wife
[deleted]
twotall88: Spam bot or trash poster.
tpb772000: Sorry that I am a trash poster. Cant all be goats.
twotall88: Lol, maybe start with writing an original post
tpb772000: Well this originally happened to me cause I was joking around.
| 5 | 0.2 | |
1664674572 | 1665947836 | t3_xtc2cq | t5_2to41 | 17,067 | throwaway2647352: tifu by not going to the toilet at sixth form / college
Ok just for some context: My therapist said posting this somewhere anonymously might help me move on/accept/forget what happened because I was so upset about it
This happened last week and whilst it’s still SO embarrassing I guess in a way it’s funny now since this could happen to anyone. Also no, I’ve never shat myself before this apart from as a child, which is why I was so upset.
So on Tuesday I’m in college 9-4, so I can’t just not eat until I get home like I usually do to avoid needing the toilet whilst at college. I ate mcdonald’s at around 11:30 and by 12 I needed to shit. This was even worse because I had no lessons until 2, but not enough time to go home and poo and get back in time since I live pretty far away.
I’m far too awkward to poo in a public toilet, but as we’re walking around my stomach is starting to really hurt and I keep on having to fart. As we are walking back to college it’s starting to get unbearably bad and now my friends are starting to notice me acting weird. At this point I start looking for toilets but as I only just started college in september I didn’t know where any where, so I just said that I feel sick and i’m going to go home.
I panic and literally waddle to the nearest bus stop, where ONE OF MY OTHER FRIENDS WAS, so of course she starts talking to me and then sits next to me on the bus. I try to stay calm and hope this like feeling of urgency will pass but it literally started coming in waves of pain and stomach cramps.
Now the embarrassing part. Around 15 minutes later we are like halfway to the bus station and this absolutely horrible feeling came on that I just couldn’t hold it in. I hadn’t shit myself but my body sort of involuntarily pushed and it was like poking out which felt absolutely horrible. It smelt so bad and the worst part was it was slightly touching my underwear so I had to like awkwardly hover over my seat. I’m sat there overthinking feeling like i’m about to have a panic attack because I feel like I can’t hold it any longer and at this point i’m texting my friend (who’s sat literally next to me) saying we need to just get off the bus because I NEED the toilet and she starts laughing because of the smell so I got off and she followed me.
Now people in the street are all staring at me because I literally keep grabbing my ass through my jeans and am walking like I’ve shat myself. I’m in tears from how bad my stomach hurt whilst my friend is almost crying laughing at me and I just knew I wasn’t gonna make it to the nearest toilet (5 mins walk).
I just stood still out of desperation and started to fully shit myself and I physically couldn’t stop it. It felt absolutely disgusting especially because I had to walk to some toilets. It was so bad that a literal turd slid down my leg and onto the floor IN PUBLIC.
I cleaned up as best as I could, threw my undies in the bin and tried to hide the stain on my jeans with my coat.
Then I got the bus home and properly got it all off me in the shower before throwing the jeans and socks away.
TLDR: If you need to poo, don’t try waiting until you get home because sometimes you just can’t.
thebeststeen: Have you mentioned to your therapist how strictly you force yourself to avoid public restrooms? This seems at the center of this problem.
throwaway2647352: I kinda did mention it when I was rlly upset and told her the entire like shat myself story but not really specifically mentioned that. However she did say that If I need to go I should go in public because it’s unhealthy but I don’t think she knows how anxious it makes me if I have to go and don’t wanna do it in public, mostly because the only times I have done it (which were in school) were mortifying and led to the whole school knowing I went to the toilet and laughing at me for it
iAstonish: This might sound pretty direct, but in pretty sure shitting your pants in public is going to be more mortifying and lead to more people laughing at you than just using a public toilet.
Don't mean to sound rude, I understand anxiety can be crippling, just suggesting to look at the alternative
bugbugladybug: This is a very good method for dealing with anxiety in these situations.
It was a method I used in therapy to avoid suffering through catastrophisation and intrusive thoughts.
Just working through ,"what's the worst that could happen" questions are what helps tackle these ideas.
Poop in a public toilet, what's the worst that will happen? Grown adults who don't give a fuck maybe have a laugh about the banging shit someone did then never think of it ever again.
Hold it in, what the worst that can happen? You crap yourself in public, in front of friends and it's gets remembered a little more.
Neither of these are life altering events and won't be continually brought up, but I know what one I'd prefer.
taulover: To be clear, in this case it's not adults because OP specified sixth form/college, which in US would be equivalent to junior and senior year of high school.
ColeSloth: Typically a junior in highschool would never have over 2 hours between classes so I'm super confused now.
yedhead: I’m guessing OP is from the U.K..
Here in the U.K. after you finish secondary (high) school at age 16 most people go to either sixth form or college to do your A-Levels (aged 16-18). Which are the qualifications you need for University. You normally pick 4 subjects to do your A-Level exams in and so you only go to those classes. Some days might be split up or some days you might not have to go into college at all, everyone’s timetable is different.
FrenzalStark: Most might give the wrong impression, it’s roughly 50/50 between those that go for further education and those who just leave school.
yedhead: Since 2015 (Education and Skills Act) you must be in some form of education (be that A-levels, apprenticeship etc) until the age of 18. According to [this](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-49249684.amp) article, over 75% of 16/17 year olds are in full time education.
pawsandtales: basically you have to be in education, employed, or training. There’s an exception which is if you’re chronically ill and probably some other things too that have escaped my brain rn.
If you’re in none of the aforementioned categories you’re classed as NEET (Not in Education, Employment, or Training) and have to see some education workers - I can’t remember their job title but the ones i saw were utterly useless. They’re supposed to help you consider options like finding a job, the right college course or taking level 1 or 2 courses (for context, l3 is equivalent to gcses). They did none of this for me and sorta just berated me for being ill
lillian20102: You can join the army at 16 after your GCSEs
pawsandtales: genuine question but isn’t that classed as a job/training/apprenticeship?
lillian20102: I believe it would be classed as training but after the initial training period of I believe 2 months it just becomes a normal job
pawsandtales: is joining the army classed as NEET? I don’t think it is but a quick google is not helpful
lillian20102: I’m not 100% sure all I know is my brother in law started basic training at 16 after finishing school did his couple months of training and then only did training every so often as you would any job
| 16 | 1,066.6875 | |
1666753251 | 1667731691 | t3_ydn8gr | t5_2to41 | 138 | Dangerous-Tangelo-49: TIFU by giving myself a possible yeast infection trying to clean myself for a new partner
As the title describes it, TIFU by possibly giving myself a Yeast infection trying to get clean for a new partner.
I have been talking to this new beau for a few weeks now. They’re an awesome person and very much my type. I was really trying to get it on with them this weekend, BUT there was one thing in my way, my menstrual cycle. It was towards the end of it so I thought I could just warn them about the situation, and then clean myself really well with some good soap and let that be that(that was obviously not the case). I must’ve cleaned myself TOO well, and maybe left some soap in there on accident as I was trying to shave at the same time, because the next day I woke up in SEARING pain. TMI but my vulva and everything else my mother gave me felt like I had just slapped it onto a freshly oiled Sunday morning fried chicken skillet. The shower following did not compare to this, it was worse. As of today it’s been two days of tip-toeing around my home while I wait to see my doctor.
And no, I did not get my happy ending, they didn’t text back.
Update: yeast infection and bacterial vaginosis, I have learned my lesson the hard way y’all, and thank you to everyone who gave me advice on this. I pinky swear everyone and the lord I will NEVER do this again.
TL:DR My pussy lips are currently kissing the devil himself after trying to clean up for a hot date.
DifficultCurrent7: Look for a product called FemFresh, it's a soap specially for intimate areas and some can even be used as shaving gel.
For next time.
Tbh if your new crush was scared off simply because a little sculpting went wrong and they couldn't wait like a week, they don't sound very worth it.
heckinnhecks: DO NOT use femfresh inside, that product is the bane of my existence.
The only thing that should be going near your coo coo is warm water and sensitive soap on the OUTSIDE only if you absolutely must. In fact warm water should be enough especially if you're the type who always ends up being extra zealous.
Sincerely a pharmacist who has seen so much thrush they could open a damn bakery.
Off_You_Trot: Femfresh is great but why do people keep using soap and stuff inside? I thought that was common sense lol
heckinnhecks: It's not and femfreshs marketing is very bad. It misleads people into thinking they can use it inside. Also just a rip off because for the outside you just need a mild soap.
Off_You_Trot: They do make mild soap and when did they ever say you can use it inside??
heckinnhecks: I'm just telling you my experience as a pharmacist. People don't read the small print. It's obviously a mild cleanser but it's a marketing ploy and there is no evidence its no better than warm water. Their entire premise is to prey on women's anxieties. You do not need to smell fresh down there and if the smell is poignant/abnormal you need to see your pharmacist or doctor for actual treatment.
Many gynaecologists have concluded the product range is unnecessary and potentially dangerous because of the lack of information. However I would say this is an area that still remains relatively unexplored and more systematic studies are needed. Though I'm not entirely surprised by this as often women's health is pretty under researched.
| 7 | 19.714286 | |
1664704309 | 1664710021 | t3_xtksqs | t5_2to41 | 27 | DesperateFix1939: TIFU by calling my boyfriend back.
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devnullius: 1 hour of masturbation?? Something is wrong 🤣
revdre: Or making up sad internet stories for karma?
DesperateFix1939: Lol, ppl make up these type of stories?
revdre: You of all people would know that 😂
DesperateFix1939: Guess so huh, you can believe me or not, Idrc
| 6 | 4.5 | |
1666569650 | 1666666615 | t3_ybwtn6 | t5_2to41 | 66 | Mochi_Dog11: TIFU by keep asking Shake Shack for a refund
Last week, I ordered shake shack and picked up the food without knowing they messed up my order (wrong fries). So, the other day, I went back with the receipt and talked to the manager about it. Due to some unfortunate events, they only do pick-up on that day. The manager then asked me to order the fries via app (UberEats) and he will process the refund, which should go back to my account within a week. If not, I can come back and ask for him. I said ok, although I didn't even want fries that day but sure. The manager was friendly and helpful. I was happy lol
I waited for over a week, but the refund never came. I know the $$ was small, but I'm pretty broke and live close to the store. So, I went back and looked for the manager. He said he was surprised the refund didn't show up and asked if he can get me anything today to make me happy. I was like umm not really. He then said he can give me the refund now at the cashier. He punched in the fries, asked me to swipe my card, then gave me the receipt saying refund for 1 order of fries. He said the refund should reflect on my account now and I might even get two refunds. Somehow, I thought I'll be getting another fries today (since he gave me the receipt and put in the fries order). So, I sat down and awkwardly waited near the cashier, which was quite busy. After 15 minutes, I realized that maybe I misunderstood. So, I went back to him again and told him I'm confused about whether I was supposed to get fries today (?). He was like "oh do you want fries? I can get you fries." LOL
I was so embarrassed about the situation. A few minutes later, I walked out of the store with fries. However, I checked my bank account and I did not see any transaction today. It was like the transaction didn't happen. Did I misunderstand the process? If I didn't go up and asked for the fries, I was probably back to square one of not getting any refund. If anyone has any insights on this, feel free to comment.
Before this, I thought I did the right thing, but now I'm just confused and embarrassed. The manager was awesome. I probably won't go back to that Shake Shack ever.
TL;DR - Went back to Shake Shack twice to ask for a refund for fries. Might misunderstand what the manager said and wait for the fries that never came. Had to go back and embarrassingly ask for the fries out of confusion.
Motor_Garbage_5280: how much are fries at shake shack??
Mochi_Dog11: Mine was $8 🥴
peepeehamn: Jesus those are expensive fries. This whole time I'm like, "Whatevr, cut your losses, how much could it have been, like another 2 bucks?" But for 8 bucks, yeah I guess I'd also try and get a refund on principle as well.
ExtremePast: Fries at shake shack in NYC are $3.99, direct from the shake shack app. Not sure what this guy was ordering but he mentions Uber eats, where all the prices are jacked up. The new "hot ones" fries come with cheese and bacon and spicy sauce and those are 7.59, but that's definitely more than a standard order of fries.
Shake shack employees also get a full slate of benefits and paid more than minimum wage, so eating there costs more than say, McDonald's. The food is also higher quality.
Mochi_Dog11: yep, I got the hot ones and paid UberEats price lol
cuckycouple42069: Hold up, you live nearby but order Uber eats on a tight budget?
Mochi_Dog11: Uhh no it was the manager who asked me to order via UberEats pick up because they don’t allow walk-in on that day. He said he will process refund via app.
cuckycouple42069: Sounds like you’re caught in the middleman loop, so there’s the shake shack point of sale system processing the refund which has to go through Ubereats (still confused why they’re involved) and then your bank/card company, most refunds are not immediate (as LITTLE as 30 days in some cases) and your case has multiple stages. The main fuck up in this story is how much time you have spent seeking a refund over getting the wrong fries but sounds like you’ve come out ahead with bonus fries
| 9 | 7.333333 | |
1666750439 | 1667101372 | t3_ydmbgg | t5_2to41 | 69 | thefuckouttaherelol4: TIFU by going back to my own apartment
So my kid's mom and I are separated, but we still get along, are friends, whatever.
I went over her house to take a nap.
Kid's mom says hey, hope all is well, and leaves to hang with her friends or whatever.
I wake up from my nap, figure I shouldn't over-extend my stay, and go back to my own apartment.
Fall asleep again.
Mid-way through sleeping at my own apartment, I hear at my door a little *tap-tap-tap*... *tap-tap-tap*...
I almost didn't answer because I thought maybe someone was checking to see if I was home and casing my apartment for a break-in, but I relent, open the door, and...
THERE IS MY TODDLER FUCKING CHILD LOOKING ABSOLUTELY MORTIFIED.
With tears running down their face and seemingly coming from their very soul, "You and mommy... forgot... about me!!! waaaaaahhhh!"
Thank goodness I lived in the same apartment complex as my ex, because it was like 9:30 PM in the middle of winter, so very much already dark outside.
After some frantic calls to my ex to figure out what happened, it turns out she wasn't aware that I was so sleepy when she had left. Apparently my ex had explained while I was in my half-awake state that our kid was home and I allegedly agreed to watch them or take them back with me if I left. I mean... I believe her, but of course remember none of this, even to this day.
I then had to hear for the next few years from my kid how sad they were that we "forgot about \[them\]". Uh no we just didn't communicate well, but glad it turned out all right and CPS didn't have to get involved.
tl;dr: Went over my ex's to sleep. Went back to my apartment. Turns out my toddler was at my ex's and thought we tried to abandon them for years after that.
AcrobaticSource3: How old is your kid? Can you calm their nerves with a white lie, like saying you were playing hide and seek? I normally don’t advocate lying or kids, but it might make them feel better and not feel abandoned
bismuth92: Next time you play hide and seek, your kid leaves the apartment...
AcrobaticSource3: Hahahaha, unintended consequences, certainly
| 4 | 17.25 | |
1666802684 | 1666911073 | t3_ye2p6w | t5_2to41 | 862 | comingforyourpickle: TIFU by stalking my partner on social media
.
.
I (20F) have been with my partner (22M) for a year. I know it’s not been long but in that time we have lived together for almost all of it. I had a difficult situation with where I stayed and he was trying to move out to so we spent almost everyday together and stayed at each others houses until I eventually moved in with him.
Now this started circling around February time , I had said there’s a cool way to view your Instagram activity and wanted to show him not thinking anything bad or suspicious in the slightest however he started acting weird and declining. Long story short I found out he was stalking his ex , after the initial shock I thought well let’s be honest we all have snooped. Maybe a month or two later I was taking a selfie on his snapchat and notice some girls name I never heard before. I hand him the phone back and start jokingly asking if there’s anything he wants to tel me. And that’s how I found out his ex has been in contact with him for roughly a week. Now this was a different ex but that’s quite a inconvenience he didn’t bother mentioning it. We had a talk I stated my boundary clearly and that was that. As far as I’m aware she hasn’t contacted him.
Well it just feels like one thing after another. We have finally moved out I’m going through my bank , trying to set everything up and I remember we had created a spreadsheet day before breaking down our finances and bills etc. I loaded up his computer , now to avoid confusion I have been on his computer before for Netflix and stuff it was never a issue , I try searching for the spreadsheet but geniuenly cannot find it. I’m looking through the files and find one called pictures, I thought all his cute baby photos will be there and his pets too. I start looking through them seeing him younger some family and work photos. I scroll down and I’m met with screenshots of naked girls one of them being his friend ( her photo was only of her shoulder and face with no bra on, looked more like use your imagination kinda thing) and among them many photos of his ex naked. None of them were taken since we started dating and I understand there was a past before us. We spoke about it he said he had feelings for his friend way before we met and they had talked about it and decided to stay friends. He deleted all the pictures.
This is the part I think I’m the asshole. I have a eating disorder and things that have happened in our relationship (some because of him some not) that have made me quite insecure about my body. The girls he had pictures of and his ex’s were very skinny and I’m more towards the chubby side.I am healthy but at some point I stopped being confident in myself. This has made me be more cautious , convincing myself he’s just with me because it’s easier. Today I went through his profile on Twitter and noticed he recently followed a onl*fa*s account and quite a lot of his following on instagram too is girls who make onl*fan* content.
I don’t know what to think. We’ve spoken about it before and he must think I don’t notice it. He’s honestly a really good guy , he has done a lot for me and I can tell he truely cares about me. I don’t think he would ever cheat on me , I don’t even think he speaks to other woman. He’s reassured me so many times , I’ve made mean comments about his behaviour and even went through his social media before.
I just feel like I’ve made my boundary clear and it’s been broken so many times.
TL;DR TIFU by looking through partners things and now feeling like shit.
Edit : okay just to clarify haha , I wasn’t snooping at the time I was on his computer. I could use it, never was a problem. I didn’t have any reason to be snooping at the time. I’m not “lying” , I was curious there would be family pictures , maybe cute pictures of him growing up and pictures of his cats. And majority of them were It’d be fine if it was a photo album tho right ? But a folder is off limit?
. Y’all weird for assuming that.
JagoKestral: Alright so I don't see where people are saying he's breaking her boundaries.
No where in this post do I see a moment where she says she communicated any specific boundaries to him. Also, the things that are making her feel bad or hurt really aren't all that bad. The worst thing here is having been in contact with his ex for about a week before she found out, and that's really not so bad without further context.
Snooping after an ex to see what they're up to? A little weird, but no more so than any other weird shit a normal person does. Having old nudes? Listen, I could *not* describe my pictures folder on my pc. People tend to drop shit in there and forget about, and it's pretty common for people to forget they have nudes hanging about. And lastly, onlyfans? People look at porn, at least she knows the porn he's linking at is ethically sourced. I don't see any mention of a porn boundary in this post at all.
I must be missing something here.
Edit: okay she stated a boundary about talking to an ex. None of the other stuff comes anywhere near that.
harvestmoon360: Idk there's a lot of defending her bf here. To me the things he has done are not okay and it's okay for her not to be cool with his actions.
However, I agree, she definitely needs to voice these boundaries, especially since the bf aparently doesn't know he shouldn't keep nudes of his exes and his friends while in a relationship.
JagoKestral: Again, though, that implies that he was actively aware of the nudes, which he very easily might not have been. I know for a fact my partner has in the past had some nudes that she forgot about because they were buried in literal years of other pictures. Based on the information you have no ground whatsoever to say that he was doing anything with those images.
And again, onlyfan is just *porn.* Literally no reason to be upset about that.
harvestmoon360: Forgetting about something doesn't mean it's okay. And maybe you and your partner consider nudes of exes fine, but clearly the OP doesn't. And yes onlyfans is just porn, but the bf is specifically following these girls on instagram so it's a little more in depth than just porn.
He shouldn't have to walk on eggshells around her, of course, but this is an already insecure girl who is young and probably a bit inexperienced in relationships. I can clearly see anyone in the same situation being upset about all the things he has done.
JagoKestral: "You didn't know that you had these because they're literally years old and any reasonable person would also forget about them, but you're a bad person for having them."
You sound like an absolute control freak and I feel bad for anyone who dates you, genuinely.
harvestmoon360: Did you even read what I said...
And that's real mature of you, insulting me because I'm not agreeing with you.
JagoKestral: You literally said that forgetting something still makes it wrong. And it's not an insult, genuinely, that's my impression of you. It's very honest.
harvestmoon360: I said it doesn't make it okay. She's allowed to be bothered about it. A lot of people would be.
I'll give your condolences to my partner then.
JagoKestral: You should, and that's still absolutely absurd. You're literally saying it's okay to be mad at someone for something *they didn't know existed.* How can you not see how mental that is?
harvestmoon360: They're his pictures. Maybe he forgot about them, but he does know they exist.
Again, I didn't say she has a right to be mad. I said she's allowed to feel bad about the fact he didn't delete them when he entered a new relationship. Look humans are emotional, and maybe it's not rational, but at the end of the day she feels bad about the fact he kept them, as many people would.
I'm still not going to agree with you so I wonder why you're still replying and still insulting. Xox
JagoKestral: Again, not an insult, just facts.
Do you honestly think the person anything human being thinks when they leave a relationship is "oh, I'm so hurtm better go delete those nudes I haven't looked at in 3 months!" And you didn't say it's okay if she feels bad, you specifically says "that doesn't make it okay." You put the onus on him as though he did something actively against her, which he didn't.
That's not even the to mention you seemingly thinking that people in relationships aren't allowed to look at porn. It's not an insult to point out that level of control isn't healthy.
| 12 | 71.833333 | |
1666806477 | 1666833731 | t3_ye48s4 | t5_2to41 | 35 | Character_Freedom_36: TIFU by finding out my bf has a foot fetish
I am at a loss for words guys. Me and my bf are very open with each other with all things. We are into some things that aren’t vanilla at all so it’s not like I’m shaming. So the other week my bf and me were goofing off and as a joke I touched his “thing” with my feet. I was giggling expecting him to push them off or say ew or something. But when I looked at him his face was bright red. I moved and asked what was wrong he said nothing and covered himself with a blanket. I was concerned but didn’t say anything. The next day I was looking something up on the computer and I was already suspicious of him so I was checking the search history. I actually didn’t find anything but I decided to check his phone. I had it while he was in the shower and in his private browser he had 4 TABS OF FOOT PORN/FETISH SITES OPEN. He was also subscribed to someone’s only fans who only posted feet pics. Its been a few days and i have no idea what to say to him. I now notice how much he looks at my feet. I’ve started wearing socks more because it makes me uncomfortable. What the hell do I do.
TLDR- I put my feet in my bfs ring as a joke. He got red and acted suspiciously and didn’t tell me to move. I checked his private browser and found for porn among other things. I haven’t talked to him. What do I do?
-I just want to explain some things. First I am allowed to be on his phone as he is mine. If he would’ve seen me with the phone he wouldn’t have cared at all. Also I do not mind about the fetish (I’m into some crazy sh!t to) but it isn’t something I think I’m into. Last I’m going to talk with him today. Tell him I don’t mind the fetish, just that he hid it and was subscribed to someone’s site.
nanny2359: The real problem in your relationship is that you're creeping on his phone when he's in the shower.
It is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what his fetishes are. He chose to keep his preference to himself and you completely ignored his boundaries and privacy.
What the fuck is wrong with you
Character_Freedom_36: In my relationship I have full access to his phone as he does mine. However I wanted a chance where he couldn’t delete anything. Also idc that he has this fetish i just wanted to know how to approach the situation.
nanny2359: >I wanted a chance where he couldn’t delete anything.
So you knew he wanted to keep it private, and you didn't care. So selfish and nasty.
>how to approach the situation.
Do him a great favour and excuse your disrespectful ass from his life
Character_Freedom_36: As his gf of 5yrs i have a right to know his fetishes. I have the right to know which parts of my body turn him on. And not to mention, it makes me kinda uncomfortable. Especially since he was subscribed to someone else’s 0nly fans because of it.
nanny2359: >i have a right to know his fetishes.
No, no you do not
You make me want to vomit. You sound abusive
Character_Freedom_36: Then vomit
| 7 | 5 | |
1666376060 | 1666400993 | t3_ya0jit | t5_2to41 | 1,612 | Deadpan_1: TIFU by finding inappropriate pics of my SIL on my bothers old phone.
I didn’t realise that it was possible to create a hidden folder until about a week ago and up until this point i had never been bothered to try and figure out how to do it. But today i decided to try figure it out as i’ve seen a lot of people talking about it and got curious.
I wish i hadn’t.
For some added context, i’m 18(f) and i have an older brother 22(m) who was kind enough to give me his old phone as he decided to get the iphone 14. I now have his old iphone 13 (yes i’m giving him money for it).
Anyway, i spent ages trying to figure out how to find the hidden folder and i’m honestly embarrassed at how long it took. I moved a random picture into it as i was unsure if it even existed without pictures in there. So eventually i find this folder and it’s locked so i try using face ID to unlock it, doesn’t work. Instead i have to put in my password which isn’t a big deal and i do so. What i was met with has traumatised me and i’m gonna need therapy or something. I won’t go into detail about what was in there, and honestly i don’t fully know as i’ve never swiped off of something so quickly in my life. My brother did a full reset on the phone before he gave it to me so i don’t understand why the contents of the folder weren’t also wiped along with everything else. I’m disappointed in what is very clearly an oversight on apples part and i hope they realise this is an issue before any other younger siblings are traumatised too.
TL;DR It doesn’t delete the hidden folder when you reset your phone. Do it manually or risk traumatising your old phones new owner.
Edit: Didn’t think my wording would be criticised so much lol. I wrote this as if it were something i was sending to my friends and so certain things are exaggerated, such as me being traumatised and needing therapy (i thought that was funny but apparently it stigmatises sex - this is reddit calm down). I understand people have sex, i’m not surprised, they’re married. I would just prefer not to watch. If that’s weird to you then you’re weird to me. Anyone suggesting i was actively seeking out nude pictures of my family, you’re even weirder. Also i love my SIL and this doesn’t change that, again, i was joking.
Edit 2: From my understanding, you have to go to settings to make the hidden folder visible under utilities for it to be there, which i did before i even went into the photos app. So because of that, i was under the impression that that was me “creating” the folder, or at least making it visible under utilities and therefore usable. I also moved a picture into the folder before opening it (or even finding it) again, this was me attempting to “create” the folder as before that point i could not find it. None of this was an excuse to snoop (the phone had been fully reset so how anyone could come to that conclusion anyway is their own fault). In my mind, I had “created” the hidden folder before going onto the photo app as i turned it on in settings. -I’m talking about the hidden album in the photo app, not some random folder on the phone (even then my immediate thought would not be that my brother stored nudes in there because again, the phone had been reset to its factory settings).
Valkyriemome: You realize that married people have sex, right?
And that a LOT of people have sexual preferences?
And the words “consenting adults?”
So, you found some kinky pics, and now you need therapy? Either 1) you are a naive prude, or 2) this was beyond normal kink.
If 1) completely not a FU. More an AH.
2) no one has any reason to believe that 1) isn’t the case because you’ve been too vague.
Deadpan_1: I’m aware. Clearly you’ve never accidentally come across sexual pictures of members of your FAMILY
thrwaway9932: I saw the dick of my father once. Walked in on him while he was changing. It was just hanging, free and in open air.
Men have dicks. Women have boobs and the other thing. Big deal if you saw the ones in the family.
Jeez, people need to grow a pair about accidentally witnessing private body parts. It's really not a big deal, and just a humorous situation.
LordSwright: Now imagine seeing your mum bouncing on that erect dick......
Not quite the same now is it
Edgy-in-the-Library: I've walked in on that once as a fresh teenager and I did not enjoy that memory; nobody ran screaming "ewwww, families have sex!" though.
It's like OP doesn't know that families used to fuck in the same room as the rest of their family members back in smaller shared quarters homes...gross? Yes. World-ending and depression enducing, eh- that's a choice.
A fuck up, sure. Not an excuse to be that theatrical over finding photos they sought out to see anyway, which is the weirdest part: looks for secret files, finds secret files, is then upset over contents of secret files not meant for OP; OP becomes defensive for acting like a fool in the first place.
Perhaps this is a form of TIFU inception OP was not prepared for, lol.
Deadpan_1: The phone had been reset. I did not “seek out” explicit pictures. I assumed the folder would be empty, which it should’ve been considering the phone had been fully reset before being given to me. Why would i go looking for the folder if i had ANY idea there would be pictures already in there?
Also i’m aware people have sex. This isn’t news to me. I just don’t want to watch.
Secthian: Watching implies some active will on your part to continue looking and taking in the scene. If you “watched” that’s on you.
You saw something (normal) you didn’t want to, that purposefully wasn’t meant to be seen by you. C’est la vie.
Delete and move on with your life.
Deadpan_1: Holy shit be more pedantic
Secthian: Grow up.
Deadpan_1: The edit on the post literally explains everything and yet you’re still sat here arguing with someone over a reddit post. Touch some grass and move on
Secthian: Your edit did not speak to my point re watching.
Also, since you are being condescending with everyone here who is disagreeing with you, not sure why you are so keen on telling others not to argue on Reddit. The irony is palpable.
Deadpan_1: Why tf would i re-watch anything in there? And that’s because people on here are making it seem like i’m purposely trying to find nudes of my family members and it’s weird
Secthian: So you’re upset that strangers on the internet are not responding how you had hoped? My dude…
Deadpan_1: Dude why are you so bothered??
Secthian: I ain’t bothered, son. I am just responding to you and you keep coming back for more.
| 16 | 100.75 | |
1664730361 | 1664815575 | t3_xttyix | t5_2to41 | 14,797 | Welfgong: TIFU by deep cleaning a silicon toy
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Moosebuckets: They make anal safe dildos that don’t cling to smells. You can also use condoms and an enema beforehand. Lmao why the fuck would you BAKE it?!?
Znuff: The only materials that poop smell won't stick to are metal and glass.
Everything else is fair game for the "oils" in human poop.
Avalonians: Not smelly.
Unbreakable.
Light.
You can only pick 2.
nanobiteu: Metal can be all 3.
NinjaN-SWE: Yeah, soft would've been better instead of light.
ZsZagreb: Ever hear of gallium?
EiichiroKumetsu: always wanted to have liquid metal inside my ass
Bdr1983: Try mercury. It cures syfilis, or so they used to think.
EiichiroKumetsu: idk why but i always thought they injected the mercury into the penis lol
Bdr1983: They did.
EiichiroKumetsu: shit.
Bdr1983: Yeah ...
| 13 | 1,138.230769 | |
1666811339 | 1666819138 | t3_ye65mj | t5_2to41 | 154 | Independent-Cheek-93: TIFU by not taking middle school seriously. And now my mom is cutting all ties with me, my sister's and my dad...
[removed]
WilliamMinorsWords: I'm so sorry. It's not you, it's not your fault. Your mother sounds like a very selfish person, who is blaming her own failure as a mother on you.
Nothing anyone says it's going to make you feel better, but I'm a mom, and I'm giving you a long distance hug in place of your mom. I wish you well. Please know this is not your fault. Please try to look up.
Useful_Experience423: She also sounds chronically depressed. I hope she gets help.
| 3 | 51.333333 | |
1666813966 | 1666838054 | t3_ye76tv | t5_2to41 | 20,292 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my boyfriend what his kinks are
[deleted]
Revolutionary-Alarm6: sounds like intrusive thoughts, just happen to be linked with more explicit sexual content.
some people tend to have them really often, like seen someone waiting on the subway station and thinking about pushing them when the train comes or being pushed by a random stranger. Or when a person sees a baby and think "what if i take the baby and throw/drop it". Or when someone is yelling at you and you imagine yourself punching them in the face, etc.
He said he would never act on these thoughts and he even felt comfortable opening up about it with you. I understand it's weird, but honestly a lot of people think bad stuff from time to time — the fact that there's guilt about even having such thoughts and being sure he would never act upon it is what matters imo.
mythicavanger: This was my first thought as well intrusive thoughts are the worst
SalFactoR: But even if you had those intrusive thoughts, you wouldnt think of it as your kink. I think this is more than that.
suitabletreachery: if it is his kink, and she genuinely is into CNC herself, i don't understand why it should be an issue. CNC for the vast majority of people is just the practice that comes from a rape fantasy so nobody actually gets raped. i genuinely don't understand how you'd arrive at cnc without having a rape fantasy to some extent yourself
also, not everyone can identify intrusive thoughts, or even knows they exist. a lot of people with OCD have pedophilic intrusive thoughts and become terrified that they're a pedophile even though they would never harm a child nor have any actual attraction to them. they have intrusive thoughts, don't necessarily know that's what's happening, and assign meaning to them.
and tbh if you don't know how to recognize intrusive thoughts it's a reasonable logical assumption, regardless of how much shame it makes you feel, where else are you supposed to think your thoughts come from if not uoum
DConstructed: Because a kink still doesn’t mean “rape me when you get angry”.
It doesn’t sound like a kink more like it’s specifically linked to anger like punching someone in the eye in a fight.
That means that the times he is likely to want to do it would also be times she in reality does nor consent. It’s no longer CNC play it becomes anger linked rape.
So they probably aren’t on the same page any more than a sub who likes occasional spankings wants to have the crap beaten out of them by an angry partner.
jaydoes: I agree but that doesn't mean he will ever get so mad that he does rape her and in some cases it's actually de fusing. He might get mad, have that thought and instead of getting madder, he thinks she is soo aexy when she's mad. Instant de fusion.
DConstructed: IMO the time to act out a violent or potentially harmful kink is when you aren’t angry.
There’s too much of a risk of losing control and doing something regrettable if you are actually in a rage.
I was addressing this before
suitabletreachery:
“if it is his kink, and she genuinely is into CNC herself, i don't understand why it should be an issue.”
The issue is that he told her he had those thoughts when he was angry.
Not as a general “let’s act out a scenario for fun”.
jaydoes: I agree my point is that having that thought doesn't make him a ticking time bomb. You need more evidence than this before deciding he's a rapist biding his time.
DConstructed: Show me where I called him a ticking time bomb or anything like that.
jaydoes: I was referring to the the middle of your post, but not just that some other posts are implying this is warning sign. I was referring to comments in general, not especially yours.
DConstructed: So this?
“It doesn’t sound like a kink more like it’s specifically linked to anger like punching someone in the eye in a fight.
“That means that the times he is likely to want to do it would also be times she in reality does nor consent. It’s no longer CNC play it becomes anger linked rape.”
It’s not specifically about him being likely to rape. It’s about the timing.
If he only had these thoughts when he is angry that is the wrong time to act out anything.
Because what suitabletrechery suggests is that since the OP is into CNC it shouldn’t be an issue as though they share a common kink.
But it isn’t a common kink if he specifically wants to do this when he’s mad.
jaydoes: Where I think this isn't accurate is the idea that because he has the thought when he's mad, it makes him more likely to do it. I don't think that's the case, everyone has thoughts that they get some kind of gratification out of it but they would never actually would do it.
DConstructed: Maybe not. But it’s reasonable for the OP to be distressed that he might be wanting to hurt her when he’s angry.
Because a kink for something that is roleplay when you do it isn’t the same as someone doing it in real life.
jaydoes: Thats the exact argument I would make for why it's not a big deal, it's totally not the same thing.
And here's the thing to me. If she was saying her bf is aggressive with her in any way, I would have said, dump him and get out of there. But she's saying he's the sweetest most thoughtful bf ever. And in fact, she's the more sexual one not him. In this case, the only lesson to be learned here is if you're not prepared for the answer, don't ask.
| 15 | 1,352.8 | |
1664771498 | 1664850180 | t3_xu9j4h | t5_2to41 | 8,693 | UsedBoysTissue64: TIFU by calling my Mexican boyfriend a “support animal” and getting fired over it
[removed]
Morkros: It's weird to call your boyfriend 'mexican support animal' and out of context it is racist. But beside that, you're a bit dumb i guess, that's all lol.
UsedBoysTissue64: Is it the fact of calling him an animal as what’s racist? Or just the fact I put Mexican?
fredsam25: There's more to him than his nationality, right? You could have said "my handsome support animal", "my tall support animal", "my furry support animal", "my mini support animal"... etc, any other attribute, but you made it about nationality/ethnicity. That's the racist part. Even if you are not "racist", you can still say racist things. If you keep saying them, even after being corrected repeatedly, then maybe you are a racist.
Borghal: >but you made it about nationality/ethnicity. That's the racist part.
Bruh that's not racist by itself. It's just an attribute much like the others you mentioned. And nationality =/= race a lot of the time.
It only becomes racist by being part of some negative context. Which, in this case, is pretty debatable. I don't know anything about support animals from Mexico being a negative stereotype.
fredsam25: It may shock you to find out that it's possible to pay someone a very positive and yet racist compliment. It doesn't need to be negative to be racist. It merely needs to unnecessarily include an element of race/ethnicity/nationality.
Borghal: You're running on a completely different and weird definition of racism, man.
The root of racism is taking a generic sterotype about a group of people and applying it to individuals without any further evidence.
That is racism. It's a simple but strong definition.
fredsam25: I see others already showed you how you are incorrect. I'll just leave you with this, there doesn't need to be any ill intent for things to be racist. Asking someone brown "where are you from" is racist, being surprised that someone foreign speaks English well is racist, taking a photo of yourself eating a taco bowl on Cinco de Mayo and posting it to your campaign website... Well you get my point.
Borghal: > 'll just leave you with this, there doesn't need to be any ill intent for things to be racist.
Of course. I didn't say anything about ill intent in my comment either.
>Asking someone brown "where are you from" is racist
That's one of the most ridiculously american things I've heard in a while. Why on earth would it be racist to ask **anyone** where they're from?! It's one of the first questions you ask anyone when getting acquainted.
Getting offfended because someoen asked you where you're from. *My word*. You truly must live in a different world.
And as for the language, you should never be surprised someone speaks English well. Everyone and their dog does these days. But if you're a Slovenian and meet an American who speaks well Slovenian, surprise is defnitely an expected emotion.
fredsam25: Because it assumes they are not from here based purely on appearance.
And just because having racist emotions is common and expected, doesn't make them any less racist. Would most people be surprised to see a black person living in China, speaking Mandarin? Yes. Would it still be racist to ask him where he's from? Yes. His family could have been in China for generations, but because of his skin, you don't see him as Chinese. That's racist. Common and expected, but racist.
Borghal: >His family could have been in China for generations, but because of his skin, you don't see him as Chinese.
You're mixing race and nationality, I think that kind of muddles the situation.
>Because it assumes they are not from here based purely on appearance.
That was a rhetorical question on my part. It's only racist when *specifically construed with racist intent* (e.g. by singling out the only "different" person in a group conversation). It is not racist when used in a normal context (i.e. upon meeting someone for the first time).
You're very focused on the idea of asking someone in a racist way, but that's not what you initially said: "Asking someone brown "where are you from" is racist". No, by default it is not. You have to ask it out of context for ti to become racist.
fredsam25: Your intent has nothing to do with if something is racist.
Borghal: Wait, so you're saying that singling out someone different looking with that question is *not* racist? That doesn't sound right.
fredsam25: I'm saying if you intend to be racist or not intend to be racist is independent of whether your words are racist in it of themselves. If your words use race/ethnicity/nationality unnecessarily to frame someone as other, they are racist.
Borghal: > I'm saying if you intend to be racist or not intend to be racist is independent of whether your words are racist in it of themselves.
And I was saying that "where are you from" is racist only if you go out of your way to use it in an unusual context, such as asking a single specific different-looking person out of a whole group.
>If your words use race/ethnicity/nationality unnecessarily to frame someone as other, they are racist.
Technically correct is the best kind of correct, I see... if I refer to my colleague as "the Finnish colleague" because he's the only foreigner in my team so his nationality is the most distinct feature in regards to my team, that is racism by your definition. But it's not really relevant to discuss this technical form of racism because it's nothing offensive either.
fredsam25: You are saying his nationality is the only practical identifier? You could use his clothes, how long he has been on the team, his like for heavy metal music... etc. It is racist to default to his nationality to differentiate him. Now is it very racist? No. But it's still racist.
| 16 | 543.3125 | |
1666819911 | 1666858542 | t3_ye9l65 | t5_2to41 | 76 | [deleted]: tifu by sharing gallery with my partner
[removed]
KittikatB: Intimate pictures? Do you just mean photos of them together, or nudes? If it's the latter, that's concerning because it's illegal.
VizzyTarg: Few were them kissing and the video chats screenshots were revealing.. but it's a screenshot so not that clear.. but i can picture it clearly in my head tho.. he was smiling in them
KittikatB: Firstly, this is a lesson in dealing with the fact that your romantic partners will usually have a past with other partners. In time, you will too. It's completely normal and something you will have to deal with. Still having photos from past relationships isn't a terrible thing, your boyfriend likely still has good memories of the relationship and it's okay to keep mementos of that time. He wasn't taunting you with them or anything.
Secondly, any revealing photos are illegal. He shouldn't be taking them, possessing them, or sharing them with you. He needs to delete those. Don't take any of yourself either. Teenagers have been charged with producing, sharing and possessing those kind of photos.
THE_ORIGAL: They are both underage tho...
KittikatB: It's the age of the person in the photo that's the crime, the age of the offender is irrelevant.
THE_ORIGAL: So, let's say I'm a 12 yo girl and I want a dick pic from a 14 yo boy, who is my boyfriend. So I get the photo and I can be fined or even sent to some kind of jail for having a picture of my older boyfriend's genitalia, that he willingly sent me? I just can't really imagine the situation where the judge would be like "Yeah, you fucking predator, go to jail!"... maybe it's illegal, but don't think they take it too seriously...
THE_ORIGAL: Okay guys, I just had a question... no need to be so aggressive with those downvotes...
In my country this doesn't gets charged, especially not jail time... I'm guessing you guys are from the US, I'm not.
THE_ORIGAL: In case you are wondering, I'm 17 and my gf will be 17 in a few months.
| 9 | 8.444444 | |
1666320545 | 1666393286 | t3_y9hpms | t5_2to41 | 1,646 | Educational_Glass_47: TIFU by wanting to cuddle with my friend [update]
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/y2mlg4/tifu_by_wanting_to_cuddle_with_my_friend/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
^Link to original post
First of all everyone was so so sweet to me and really supportive and I wanted to say thank you. Also here’s that update everyone was asking for.
We had a conversation and talked about how we felt very clearly. He had caught on to the idea that I liked him but after a few days and we both thought about it separately (before the conversation this is what we talked about) it wouldn’t be the worst thing but we wouldn’t seek it out. We realized it was mostly pressure from people we knew and that whole “I kinda want a relationship” thing. So after talking it out we decided that no, we won’t work together nor would we be comfortable taking that step in our relationship. And we’re both ok with that. I genuinely think it’s mostly that whole “cuffing season” thing of everyone getting into relationships at once and we happened to have been spending a lot of time together.
So unfortunately for everyone saying to update after the first date: there’s not going to be a first date. Just a healthy friendship where we’ve promised to bring these kind of things up in the future if it becomes a problem jeopardizing our friendship.
TL;DR: I told him I thought I liked him but turns out we’re both just lonely being at college
buttlickka: Honestly, being as young as you are (I’m 38 and still feel like I’m only just figuring things out) you have shown maturity that I absolutely didn’t have at that age. Probably because I’m a male and a big boof head. Stay true to yourself mate it will never fail you.
BIG HUGS! Hahaha
-SheriffofNottingham: can confirm. I am 38 and don't know anything
UniqueUsername718: You’ll figure it all out when you turn 39 like me. Lol, jk. I too don’t know anything.
Brevemike: Not to worry. By the time you hit 50 you won’t remember not knowing anything.
No, seriously..I can’t remember anything now.
dracul72: Being fifty I can relate.
spider-bro: Relate to what?
OldManRaving: Who is this?
the_exile83: Where am I?
| 9 | 182.888889 | |
1666496193 | 1666830885 | t3_yb702u | t5_2to41 | 140 | Nugget_Army: TIFU Forgetting a girl is deaf and starting a game of Marco Polo
This happened two days ago
I was at my girlfriends house and she lives with a lady who has a daughter about 9 and this night the daughter had a friend over who happened to be deaf.
After a while the girls started a blind pillow fight and I joined to make sure everyone was safe ish but sill had fun. The deaf girl was getting closer to the stairs so from the couch I called out "Marco" to let her know where we were.
And as soon as those words left my mouth I immediately remembered that she was deaf and I muttered "shit" and just pure silence after.
Bryanole27: So did she lose or win? I can’t remember how that game works…
AdmAdvisor-07: Bruh last time I checked you can’t win a game you started already lacking
| 3 | 46.666667 | |
1666831452 | 1667409845 | t3_yedwum | t5_2to41 | 199 | tifuthrowaway3738: TIFU by getting to curious and searching up something from tik tok
Long story short i was scrolling on tt when i saw them trends the slide show ones with the you are my enemy. well i scrolled on and saw this picture of a girl getting fucked i got curious to see if this was real so i searched up the name. it leads me to some dodgy site im not horny just was curious. well i forgot i had my school account logged in. So now the school will see Big Black Horse Cock destorys petite women.
tldr saw porn on tik tok searched it up now scared for my life because i didnt log out of my school account
AcrobaticSource3: Poor petite woman :(
Hudson_the_meme: Press F to pay respects
F
lijahbear_gamingYT: F
Cdrew101: F
Sad_Construction4512: F
| 6 | 33.166667 | |
1666831955 | 1666890045 | t3_yee3a2 | t5_2to41 | 17,340 | Kiwi218: TIFU by not disclosing my sex addiction
So I (F24) have been going out with this guy Mike(M27) for about a month. We haven't done anything besides making out and handjobs. this is where the tension lies, I wanted to wait a little bit before I had sex with him. You didn’t understand why. I told him I just wanted to wait for a little bit longer. I am ashamed of my addiction. I am seeking therapy for it and I'm working on my truma. I don't know if I'm ready to go full blown with him yet.. And at this point I don't know if it's healthy for me even to be engaging in any sexual activity. Well he's somehow found out. He told me that I should have just told him. He said that since I have this addiction I should be fine with sleeping with him. I don't want to fall back into old habits and idk if i am ready to go full sex with him yet. I am willing to do other stuff with him just not penetrative sex .But he still pressing me about the sex matter. I don't think I'm ready now. I don't think I'll be ready for a while. Our relationship is kind of strained right now. I really like him, I just don’t know what to do.
​
After a flood of commets, I will be inviting him over and talking to him about all of this. I will keep you guys posted
This is the next day. So let me just explain what happened. He came over and it did not go well. I voiced my concerns and he just trampled over every single grievance I had. He called me some very nasty names. (WHICH IS NOT NEW TO ME) And during the middle of the fight he had to go to the bathroom. He was in there for about 30 minutes. I think we're probably taking a shit but I don't know. When he came out he was crying, saying that he doesn't want this to be the end of us. He just doesn't understand how I don't want to be intimate with him. he said since I've had so many partners in the past it's noy going to be a problem. I once again explained my addiction to how it materialises in real life. He said since it's a relationship it's not going to happen like that. (If people want me to make a different post about how I struggle with my addiction and explain how it is and was for me, I will). He was basically bawling saying that he doesn't want this to be the end. I said I cannot have a relationship and also have sex right now. I said just give me some time. He says he doesn't have time and if I'm not going to give him sex he should just leave. Then I told him to leave. He ended up getting very angry and called me a slut. And I told him I'm not the one that's begging for sex. Then he left. So yeah and this is my story.
​
I saw a comment that made a really good point that I did not mention in my original post. To clarify when he found out I did explain what it looks like to be a sex addict and how I was like. Multiple times I asked him if he understood what I was saying. He said he did. I even explained what it was like for my past partners. I couldn't go an hour without sex at one point. He said he understood every single time I asked. I don't blame anyone that left a comment saying that he was misinformed. Because you don't have the information that he was informed.
TL;DR: I broke up with my boyfriend because he didn't understand my sex addiction
InflamedLiver: If he’s **more** interested in sex than the relationship itself, you pretty much have your answer right there
edit: for those struggling with reading comprehension: sex is important in a relationship, but not the primary reason to be in one.
threelizards: Also, If he’s more interested in sex than he is the real damage it could do to your recovery, he’s an ass and you deserve better
jay1891: Yeah like if you replace it with any other addiction say and your partner was encouraging you to drink or take hard drugs you would say he was an ass, end off.
Halloween_Christmas_: Came to say this-- if the subject was alcohol, and he kept pushing her to "just have one drink" with him even though that's not how it works for problematic drinkers, he's a huge AH and this case is no different. OP, I'm glad you're protecting yourself and your health. You deserve a fantastically-understanding partner who will do everything they can to support your health ❤️🩹
Benny_Lava83: Good luck finding someone completely OK with the potential absence of sex the rest of their life. That's a horrible situation for her, sure, but that's a fucking hell of a big ask of anyone. It's almost absurd to suggest this dude is some kind of scum for that.
Halloween_Christmas_: I'm not familiar enough with a sexual addiction to know if OP will still be able to engage in a healthy sex life or what treatment looks like for her to speak on that, but I agree with you. I also would not be able to live in a sexless relationship so I wouldn't expect that of this guy. If OP does need a sexless relationship to remain healthy and he isn't on board, he absolutely should amicably leave the relationship as incompatible, 100%.
jay1891: Another one who can't read the post it literally says she was waiting to ensure there was some sort of relationship rather than pointless sex. Many people with sex addiction can get back to a normal sex life same with porn addiction etc. once they have therapy. Especially if said addicition is linked yo a trauma it is normally a side effect of the untreated condition. Nowhere has anyone said the relationship will be completely sexless as demonstrated by her offering everything but penetrative sex as she goes to therapy.
Halloween_Christmas_: I can read fine. What I meant was I'm sure every sex addict is not the exact same, so I'm not sure if OP will even get to the point where she feels like she can have a healthy sexual relationship with this guy, but it's fantastic that she's prioritizing herself and her sobriety/treatment.
jay1891: She is wanking him off after a month is that not a sexual relationship. It just another example of a guy expecting more as he had heard others did and the relationship was no issue until he found out her past. He is a little baby whose masculinity has been hurt because the girl he sees as promiscous now chose to make him wait and no projecting his insecurity as having sex with her will give him a gold star in his mind.
Halloween_Christmas_: Hand jobs don't seem to be enough for her pushy boyfriend so... She clearly discusses that he wants intercourse and she isn't ready yet 🤷🏻♀️
jay1891: I just think its wrong in any case to make out that a woman is weong for choosing to wait anytime flr sex
Halloween_Christmas_: I would never think a woman is wrong for choosing to wait. That's absolutely her right, it's her body. And I am proud of her for sticking to her boundaries of no intercourse with him until she and her medical team determine she's ready for more.
Her boyfriend also doesn't have to stay, but that's his choice 🤷🏻♀️
jay1891: Her boyfriend doesn't have to stay, doesn't stop him from being an asshole which she could do much better than and he will face the same issues with multiple women. If you truly believe being asked to wait longer than a month for sexual intercourse is grounds for anyone to get in a sulk and end a relationship then you obviously are not mature yourself, I could understand if it was years but you're talking a month a relatively short amount of time. What happens to say in the relationship if she got ill or she has a baby is she back on a four-week timer to have sex otherwise the guy is in their right to be out.
When you hear nurses talking about like how many men are acting like petulant children when told women can't have sex for a period after giving birth and even seeing women post-natal who are needing assistance as their partners can't wait. When your seeing an increase in anal tears in young girls and i am talking under 16 in the UK due to the pressures being put on them etc. I don't get why anyone is trying to excuse the entitled behaviour of whiney twats who make up the male gender constantly.
mellvins059: The thing is he was already ok with waiting, he was already doing it. Now he has to wait until she has a breakthrough in therapy? Who knows how long that could take. She also was never honest with him about this at any point. He didn’t learn about this from her. It’s a fair expectation that if you have a relationship with someone there will be sex involved and if that’s not something you can offer you are invariably just fucking yourself later when your partner becomes upset you deceived them.
You say he’s just an asshole for pressuring her, with some unhinged and entirely discontented rant about anal tears, but what I hear is that the boyfriend is freaking out about something he doesn’t understand because all of a sudden he doesn’t see a future with a girl who he really likes (otherwise he wouldn’t have waited around for her) and doesn’t want to have to make a difficult decision.
jay1891: If it is how your presenting the guy wouldnt be demanding sex if its a girl he likes and scared to lose her. Demanding sex with any girl after a month isnt going to get you far if she has implied she wants to wait for any reason. The first red flaf even before finding out about tje sex therapy is that he was pestering despite saying she wants to wait. It is clearly the the guys ego has been hurt as making him wait seems a slight to him. Normally compassionate humans when they like someone dont try to pressure another person into having sex a month in like they been waiting some considerable period of time especially when discovering something like that. Ive had tamogotchis as a kid survive longer than a month and this guy is making out like it is some injustive lmao
mellvins059: 1. Sex is a big part of relationships for people, even if it isn’t for you.
2. She has been deceitful the entire time about and he didn’t even find out through her.
I can understand both perspectives and you also have to consider you’ve literally only heard on side of it so it’s hard to reach conclusions. Still at least just based on this neither of them come off particularly great.
| 17 | 1,020 | |
1666829301 | 1666974549 | t3_yed5vu | t5_2to41 | 84 | slightly_sad_apple: TIFU by stashing p00pouri in my backpack
I, (17) have a general rule I stand by of "when you gotta go, you gotta go", but im not a jerk obviously, and I don't want to stink up any school bathrooms. I've struggled with intestinal problems for most of my life, so this rule seemed especially important to me to keep me on a somewhat healthy schedule.
To solve this dilemma, I put a small bottle of p00pouri in my bag, so that if I ever had to...go...I could do it without shame.
For context, p00pouri is the name brand for a type of spray that you spray into a toilet bowl being doing your business to mask the smell of it. It works pretty well too in all the years I've been using it. I figured it was a smart enough item, and I put it in a small pocket on my backpack.
I've had this bottle in my bag for about a month now, and I've used it maybe twice. Really came in handy for a bit, until this week. I usually put my car keys in the same pocket as this p00pouri because my backpack doesn't have many pockets. One day when grabbing out my keys, I noticed they were wet, and smelled very strongly like chemical citrus. I knew immediately...we had a problem with the poopouri.
The p00pouri was found at the bottom of the pocket, and almost completely empty. And my backpack reaked of citrus. By the time I had realized that it had spilled, it was giving me headaches for days, one that I'm still nursing right now. I finally got around to cleaning it all up, but it still smells so pungent. I can't get rid of the citrus scent, and I don't dare tell anyone what I had done.
I ended up throwing away most of the stuff I kept in that same pocket, such as pads, deodorant, and an old pair of sunglasses. Where my backpack doesn't smell like citrus, it now smells like clorox wipes.
All I hope is that no one noticed, and if they did, they don't own the same scent of p00pouri...
Tl;dr I put p00pouri in my backpack, it spilled everywhere, and now my backpack has a headache inducing citrus scent to it.
Lord_Cockwood: That's not "your" rule. That's a law of nature. When you gotta shit you gotta shit. Very considerate of you but at the end of the day it's a bathroom. That's what they're there for. But if you're still concerned maybe switch to matches.
EvilNinjaApe: I don’t think public restrooms will take kindly to matches. I know I’d panic a bit if I smell that when I entered.
| 3 | 28 | |
1666837320 | 1666858377 | t3_yefy4d | t5_2to41 | 31 | Flaming_tiger: TIFU by showing a friend my penis
[removed]
Scared_Weekend_7979: Wtf is this 😂😂
ForkShirtUp: OP(Joyshe) secret desire for penis
scar12346: Remember, the e is silent
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1665621709 | 1666837885 | t3_y2knex | t5_2to41 | 107 | Sayuri_olg: Tifu by giving my 70 yr. old teacher a book
So I'm a freshman in high school and I only have 3 teachers and I only see one once a week but the teacher I'm going to talk about | see at least twice a week (Tuesday and Wednesday). So last week told my teacher about a book that I read and really enjoyed it was verity by Colleen Hoover and if you read her books than you know that her work contains……certain work. And she told me that she was
intrigued by the book since it's a dark mystery. In that moment I was just so happy that she was so interested into something I told her about, but I forgot about the specific parts that you wouldn't
want a teacher, especially a teacher that you see twice a week. So before I got to her class I grabbed the book, still forgetting about the parts, I took it to
her after class and after a little chit chat I left and the moment I stepped out of her class I remembered all the smut I've ever read but specifically in verity and all I wanted to do was cry and rip my hair out. I can already hear and smell the awkward conversation we're going to have.
TL: i gave my 70 yr. old teacher a book that has smut and we’re probably gonna have the worlds most uncomfortable conversation after
Edit 1:
So I keep getting told that this isn’t a Big deal so here’s so information I left out. I HEAVILY ANNOTATED this book I’m talking about: highlighting, underlying, adding commentary, and tabbed I did everything to this book and about the comments I’m not talking about light comments i mean things like “oh lord” bad.
ZiegenSchrei: I think she might know what sex is and that is rather prevalent in media. How old are you bro? This shouldn't be a concern
Sayuri_olg: Damn who hurt you today I’m just I don’t want to hear it from my teacher I’m aware that she knows what sex is but a lot of teachers always have something to say about young people doing something and she’s that kind of person so yeah and what does my age have to do with this!
ZiegenSchrei: Because this sounds exactly what a child would be worried about, since its not a big deal like, at all
Sayuri_olg: No it’s not something a “child” would be worried about Maybe to you but to someone who doesn’t like hearing that they shouldn’t be reading something just because of their age yeah it’s not a big deal but it’s not something I want to deal with
ZiegenSchrei: In that case let me give you this advice: Do not worry about it, its not even worth sweating over, everything will be fine
Sayuri_olg: You don’t understand I HEAVILY ANNOTATED this book. I put my own thoughts, highlighted, i TABBED this shit
Chemical-Hawk3835: Can you give an example of an annotation you are particularly concerned with?
Sayuri_olg: In one scene it talked about the character riding the love interest face and I tabbed it and put “oh yes love to see that” I’m mortified right now
Chemical-Hawk3835: If I were your teacher I'd chuckle at that.
Is it embarrassing? Probably for many people it would be.
But sex is a natural part of life. And part that should be embraced, not surrounded by shame.
You were open and authetic, I think your teacher will appreciate that
Hopefully you look back at this fondly later in life.
| 10 | 10.7 | |
1666838072 | 1667183432 | t3_yeg7n4 | t5_2to41 | 2,339 | krispello666: TIFU by not knowing I have curly hair for my whole life…
So this is more of a: today I learned I have been f’ing up everyday for the past 30 odd years.
My whole life no parent or hairdresser ever said anything about my hair type, they just treated it like every other hair and styled it in whatever way was currently trendy (straight or blow wave).
Well I finally started questioning my hair type as since I did the greatest shave last year I found my hair can be quite curly after washing it. Found a new more experienced hairdresser who confirmed my suspicions that yes I do in fact have CURLY hair.
This means that for 30 years my curly hair has been brushed daily and treated like any other hair type which is a huge no no. It is no wonder my hair is so damaged and has been falling out so much. I feel like such an idiot.
TLDR: found out after more than 30 years my hair is CURLY
EDIT: to answer some repeating questions/comments:
1. I admit in my post that I feel like an idiot, it is a TIFU for a reason.
2. My hair was too long and thick to wait to dry so my routine was to towel dry, brush and put up in a ponytail or plait and often this wasn’t done while standing in front of a mirror. My morning routine was brush hair and put up in ponytail or plait, also often not done in front of a mirror most of the time. So majority of the time if I was looking at my hair it looked thick and wavy.
3. I am frustrated with my hairdressers because i tried multiple times to discuss what I could be doing differently to help improve the health/condition of my hair and all they would do is try to sell me expensive shampoo and conditioner.
4. I suspect my mum is in denial about her having curly hair as well based on some comments she made about her own hair. She brushes and straightens her hair each day.
5. Once I have given my hair time to recover from it’s horrible life of daily brushing and i have gotten used to styling it as curly, I will hopefully come back with a before and after pic for those interested/asking.
Honestly did not expect this post to get any attention and it has been reassuring hearing how many people have had a similar experience.
Fisho087: Haha I completely get this. I thought I had the worst hair ever and I was the only one with my hair type because I never see anyone else going around with a cloud of frizz on their head. It was only until I stopped dry brushing that I realised “oh… I’m meant to do this”. No wonder I’d never seen it before - no one had told me *not* to brush my hair or blow dry because that’s what everyone else did!
EndlessLadyDelerium: My hair is super frizzy. I'm forty and still don't really know how to make it look good short of using straighteners.
Ollive_Oyll: I just learned and I'm 35! Top tip is don't dry brush it. Comb it through in the shower with a ton of conditioner, but no brush should go through it dry.
Scrunch a bit of curl cream/mousse gel through it soaking wet and it'll clump the curls together.
The curly hair subs are very helpful!
TheFirebyrd: See, this is killing me to keep reading this, because if you want long, healthy hair, you have to brush or comb it when it’s dry. If you do it when it’s wet, it stretches out and gets damaged. Bushing when wet is horrible for your hair. And this is from various long hair forums and the like, so a similar resource to that you’re citing.
Ollive_Oyll: You don't use a hairbrush when it's wet, you comb it with a wide comb or finger comb it. Brushing curls ruins the pattern.
Curly hair care is different to straight hair care.
TheFirebyrd: You said brush. Even combing when wet damages hair, though. It stretches it out and thins the hair strands so they break later when they’re dry. Doesn’t matter if your hair is curly or not, it’s what hair does (and I have wavy to curly hair so I know very well curly hair doesn’t have a magical property that changes how it handles being run through when wet).
If you want to prioritize curl pattern over stuff like length and health, it’s your hair, you can do what you want with it. But brushing or combing when wet is well known to be bad for hair. Your hair would be better off if you gently combed it before you washed it so it was already detangled when you got it wet, at which point the curl reasserts itself and then you can do the routine to emphasize your curl pattern.
Ollive_Oyll: You have a different hair type to mine. Unfortunately I cannot get a brush, or comb, through my hair when it's dry. It must be wet for me to gently finger detangle it, shampoo it, then comb it through when it's full of conditioner.
On certain hair types, the potential for breakage is higher dry than wet, it's the lesser of two evils. I could comb mine dry when short, but it's too long for that now.
This is unrelated to curl pattern by the way - my hair is very thick but most importantly, coarse. Coarse hair is hard to work with but it doesn't mean we can't have long hair.
TheFirebyrd: If it’s related to having coarse hair, you probably shouldn’t be telling a bunch of people whose hair type you don’t know that this is the way to do it because dry brushing is damaging. You should be putting more qualifiers in, because following your suggestions would damage many people’s hair.
Ollive_Oyll: Apologies that you feel that way - you sound really angry and also like you're taking this personally. Brushing dry, curly hair ruins the curl pattern and creates more damage than combing/finger combing/wet brushing it wet. Not much else to say really.
Here is some info for you:
https://www.carolsdaughter.com/blog/hair/hair-care-tips/how-to-brush-curly-hair.html
https://www.bustle.com/p/how-to-brush-curly-hair-the-right-way-according-to-expert-39659
https://onlycurls.com/blogs/tutorials/denman-brush-technique-for-curly-hair
https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-take-care-of-curly-hair#caring-for-curly-hair
TheFirebyrd: Yeah, it’s irritating to have you saying that everyone who doesn’t have straight hair should be doing what you do. What you do is damaging to many people’s hair. If you were to specify that it works for your course hair instead of just recommending it to everyone regardless, that would be different because then you wouldn’t be leading people to do things that may damage their hair. If I were to follow your suggestions, I would destroy my hair and be looking at a minimum of five years to return it to what it is.
You can find just as many links to back up what I’m saying.
https://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/beauty-hair/hair/news/a46471/why-you-shouldnt-brush-hair-after-shower/
https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/beauty/hair/a33470/never-brush-wet-hair-myth/
https://blog.thelonghairs.us/why-not-brush-wet/
https://www.vssassoon.com.au/blog/5-things-you-should-never-do-wet-hair
Ollive_Oyll: I read your links and they don't say what you think they say - one of them even tells you that it doesn't apply to curly hair. They are also based on straight hair, not curly. It would be more helpful for you to find curly-haired resources.
You think I'm telling people to get out of the shower and use a hairbrush on wet hair.
The method is to put your hair under running water/in a bucket/in the bath, finger detangle it and use a wide toothed comb when it's full of conditioner.
I'm only responding for the sake of anyone reading this thread who wants to keep their hair curly. There are lots of different methods depending on hair stype/porosity/curl pattern etc but the most common denominator is that they will all tell you not to dry brush it.
TheFirebyrd: What you’re describing would destroy my very fine, very long, very not straight hair. Even carefully detangling it before I get in the shower, the most gentle of finger combing with conditioner pulls my hair with the tangles it has just in the 30 seconds since I detangled it. If I jumped in without combing it first, my hair would be in a giant mat that can’t be separated without completely destroying it, because it tangles if you look at it funny and it catches even more when wet.
I’m not saying don’t do what works for your hair. I’m not even saying not to say what works for your hair. I’m saying you should add some qualifiers to what you say instead of telling someone whose hair you know nothing about other than “frizzy” to do what you do, because you don’t know enough to know if it’s good information for them or not. If you just added something like, “For my curly, coarse hair,” before you list instructions, that would add enough that someone with different hair would be able to know it might not be appropriate for their circumstances. A hair mistake can take years to rectify, so steering someone wrong can have pretty devastating consequences.
| 13 | 179.923077 | |
1665902794 | 1666091060 | t3_y59vjz | t5_2to41 | 18,344 | Denny12212: TIFU by sending pictures of myself
So i had met this girl online and we had started sexting and flirting, everything seemed fine. Little did i know. She then started asking for nudes which i declined because i just didn’t want to. I finally submitted and sent them, i was then bombarded by aggressive texts and emails asking for me to send money to her otherwise she’ll send it to all my family and friends, she even showed me my family’s facebook pages. I cannot stop panicking and overthinking, i have a very good job and im scared i could literally lose it all over this. Does anyone have any advice on what i should do? I cannot stop panicking.
I deleted my email account and any social media she had and i’m hoping it all blows over and she doesn’t go through with it, she was initially asking for £1000. I have considered just paying her to avoid the troubles but £1000 is £1000 which i can’t really afford. Do i go to the police for blackmail? I mean is it even bad if family and friends see pictures of me? ( i’m just trying to justify it )
TL;DR, i sent nudes and now if i don’t pay them they’ll expose me
9th-man: Once you pay.. it won't stop.
Report report report.
ErisInChains: This is a scam dude. Check out the scam sub.
Furrybumholecover: This one's been around for a bit too. There have been quite a few posts in this sub about it happening over the last year. I even had a family member (who's married) fall for it, only I'm assuming they didn't pay. We all got messages from strange accounts saying something along the lines of "Hank is a pervert! Did you know he's into these types of things?!" With a link of some sort. They left similar comments on our publicly available posts too. Luckily no one clicked the link, deleted/blocked the accounts and he played it off as somehow work related. That someone had hacked his email. I knew, I told no one. His freak shit is his own dumbass freak shit.
Don't worry OP, most people won't give a fuck that you sent your dong to a consenting adult.
the1slyyy: No one clicked the link
Highly doubtful
CaptainFriedChicken: I mean, do you have family members dumb enough to click random links on social media?
SawDoggg: 100%. My family will give the internet all the answers to all their banks security questions just to find out what fucking flavor cotton candy they’d be
cybergandalf: I got blueberry.
CreativeUnsername-No: I got blueberry and $10000 withdrawn from my bank account
mandiealleskan_: I won an iphone 14 aswell, hasn't arrived though
Citizen44712A: If you send me dollars 500, I can my manager call shipping and sent it right away yesterday urgent
TyreesesCup: Do you accept PayPal?
QueenMangosteen: No sir, only bitcoin or Western Union. You is not serious.
| 13 | 1,411.076923 | |
1666858376 | 1666916532 | t3_yem5v0 | t5_2to41 | 805 | MistorMiss: TIFU by not realizing how many clothes I had hoarded over the years
I have been cross-dressing for almost a decade, and I have also lived all those years in close quarters with my parents and sibling. I live in a small place with relatives, but I had managed to keep things organized, but the fact that some items became out of easy reach as they accumulated made it hard to keep track of how many clothes I was gathering. This is where I knew I was fucking up, but the thing is that since most of the stuff was so well hidden I lost track of how much I had because realistically I wasn't going to move dozens of pounds to access my oldest outfits, so the hoarding took place silently over the years.
Skip forward to today, I moved into a a new place that is much larger. It is until now that I'm organizing the barrage of things that I had that I realized what a fuck ton of clothes I have. I have been looking for places to donate the items that I will purge, but haven't had much luck so far. I was thinking of just going to Goodwill, but I have heard of that they aren't very responsible with donations, specially with bras.
**Edit:** thank you to those who offered advice. I'm finding good local places to deal with my dilemma.
**tl;dr:** Upon moving I realized that I had gathered a unfathomable amount of female clothes as a closet cross-dresser. I need to purge clothes to a reasonable amount, but I am still figuring out the best way to donate or recycle the spare.
DeGroove: Donate the clothes (including bras) to a local charity. If they ask what you’re donating just say clothes. They don’t know who’s or anything else unless you volunteer the info so don’t.
I’m, personally, not a fan of donating to Goodwill.
Goodwill is listed as a non-profit company but the prices they charge in their secondhand stores says otherwise. You need retail money to shop there and that’s of no service to someone in need.
BoozySquid: Goodwill's charity is intended for the good of their workers, not the good of their shoppers. There's plenty about the organization that merits criticism, but don't look to charitable thrift stores to be the cheapest. The idea is that their sales turn into job training and placement.
kittykate1994: They pay their disabled workers sub minimum wage.
BoozySquid: Yes. And they pay their executives very, very well. and some cherry pick their goods for valuables and then sell them outside the community in which they are donated in order to maximize profits. Some have been found to vastly overinflate the values of donated goods for people seeking tax writeoffs. Like I said, the organization has problems.
But the concept of Goodwill is to give disabled or challenged workers an opportunity to develop work skills that might make them suitable for other jobs, or just give them meaning in an environment where their issues won't cause them to get fired.
kittykate1994: They could do that and still pay the going rate. Disabled people are the only people you’re even allowed to pay below minimum wage.
BoozySquid: I don't think you're grasping my point. I don't disagree with you.
| 7 | 115 | |
1665756079 | 1665774170 | t3_y3usbs | t5_2to41 | 4,818 | hornybastard25: Tifu by asking out 2 women at the same time
Tifu So I’ve been talking to a girl for a while now and we’ve had a few casual hookups but I’m pretty sure she wants to get more serious about it. so I decided sure I’ll give it a try and see how dating goes as I haven’t been in a relationship for a while now. Having been in a pretty casual relationship with her all year I’ve grown to more like her as a friend than anything else but it was weighing on my mind a bit so I thought that it was a good idea. So I sent her a text asking her out to the movies and I didn’t hear back from her for most of the day and then she said she couldn’t go out tomorrow night because she’s going to a party. Now this second girl that I’ve asked out I met last week but I had a fair bit of fun with her when we were together. So when we where texting her earlier she was putting out that she liked me and I definitely have feelings of attraction for her however deep that goes. So I asked her out to go clubbing tomorrow night and she said that she was going to a party which happens to be the same party that the other girl is going to. (they know each other through a mutual friend).
UPDATE
For now it seems like they haven’t spoken so I’m in the clear for now. Thank you all for the advice I’ve taken it on board and come to the conclusion that while it’s not wrong to talk to two girls at once making a decision is definitely going to be in the near future.
TLDR
I asked out 2 girls on the same night but they’re busy going to the same party and I’m pretty sure I’m stuffed.
IJVares: I think I may be getting old cuz I really don't understand the appeal of hooking up with random people and also; You are in a "casual relationship" with a girl for a year, whatever a casual relationship is, and you "had fun" with another? Do I understand it correctly? Excuse me but is that the world we live in now?
GhostNinja1373: Sadly yes thats the dating world and it gets worse...some people have many people they are in "casual relationships" or just in general flirting with multiple people.
I had some girls flirt with me only for their boyfriend to walk in a few minutes later as they order food at my work place. So theres that too. Dont forget the people who are in relationships while still having adating profile in one of the dating apps...lol
IJVares: If so then I guess I shall get a house in the mountains and never come out again
walkerisduder: Pretty much where I’m at in life
ModernLeper_22: I plan to be a hermit in a cave. As long as I have wifi so I can have decent music. I’m on the ‘dating’ scene for the first time in 25 years and it’s soul crushing
IJVares: Yeah I tried dating the past year but honestly, I give up. It took me by surprise how many times I've been berated after not wanting to go to bed with a guy on the first date. Maybe I'm unlucky but it's just not worth it anymore.
And today I saw this post. I just feel bad for the girl that probably thinks she's in a serious relationship. Aeh
ModernLeper_22: Nah, you are not unlucky that’s the way it is. Steep learning curve. And how can you be having casual sex with someone for a year? Make it make sense
The only way it makes sense is that OP wants to sleep with as many girls as possible. I know he’s 18 and horny but that’s not a healthy attitude for either him or the girls
IJVares: It's impossible for it to have sense, but it's scary that for some people it's becoming a new norm. Not only scary, but just sad
jap_the_cool: Its very very very much dependant on social norma - I live in germany and dating is something completely different here. Maybe you should get out of your bubble and check out whats happening in other places/countries.
IJVares: Hello neighbor
| 11 | 438 | |
1664829739 | 1664895704 | t3_xuuupx | t5_2to41 | 10,362 | youngaries14: TIFU by accidentally peeing in my sneaky links mouth
Let me preface by saying I’ve always had a weak bladder since I was young and lately whenever I cough, sneeze, or gag I pee a little, it’s usually only ever a little squirt but it is bothersome. I’ve gone to the doctor about it and they can’t find a problem and just suggested I do vaginal exercises. That being said, last night I (22f) was hooking up with my sneaky link (32m). After switching through all different types of positions he asked to 69 so we started getting to it. It was going great until I gagged a little too hard and let out a little squirt right into his mouth. I immediately got off horrified and was ready to just get dressed and leave out of embarrassment. He immediately wiped his mouth and then asked if I was good. I’m still not 100% sure if he actually knows what happened or if he’s just a trooper and it didn’t bother him but after that I told him I didn’t want to do that position anymore and we just continued on like nothing happened and the rest of the time was great.
TL;DR
I was 69 with a guy I hook up with and gagged a little too hard and peed a little in his mouth. He didn’t seem bothered by it but I’m very embarrassed.
(Edit)SNEAKY LINK EXPLAINED HERE I have been seeing a lot of people asking what a sneaky link is some people use the term differently but, for my situation it’s just someone who we text each other late night to hook up, no strings attached, we don’t tell anyone about each other. Also we’re both very much single. If booty call helps you understand better then fine. Also wanted to add thank you cuz everyone is making me feel so much better about the situation. It does work in my favor that I am a bit of a squirter and he’s made it happen so maybe he thinks I did. I do feel a little bad and I also think it’s kind of funny. He probably wasn’t bothered by it he’s 32 so I’m guessing he’s seen some stuff in past relationships or hookups. I also know sometimes our bodies do things we don’t expect I’m not ashamed, it was just definitely embarrassing in the moment. No more 69 for me!
AndrewFishay: I’d say he thinks he made you squirt a little.. Poor guys probably proud of himself 😅
thehumblebaboon: it's the same thing man. I hate to break it to you.
Arashi5: The action isn't the same, releasing urine involuntarily due to sexual stimulation is different than releasing urine intentionally or involuntarily due to incontinence. All three have different causes. Squirting is a genuine sexual response. He didn't make her squirt just because she peed.
Edit: Let me put this way, are spitting and drooling the same action? They both cause saliva to leave the mouth. But one is deliberate, one is not and is typically a response to a stimulus, hence the distinction.
thehumblebaboon: There is no doubt there! intention or action doesn't really change what it is though.
urine by intention, incontinence, or by pleasure is still urine.
There is no shame in it though! Sex is messy in of itself, and there is no issue there! and anyone who has an issue with it probably shouldn't be intimate.
I have no issue with squirting!
it doesn't make it not urine though.
Arashi5: I never said it's not urine, but her urinating due to incontinence is not the same as her squirting. One is a medical condition, the other is a reponse to sexual stimulation.
You replied to someone saying "he thinks he made you squirt" with "it's the same thing", but what happened here isn't the same as squirting because it wasn't a sexual response.
thehumblebaboon: You are being obtuse.
It is the same thing. intention doesn't change what it is!
Urine is urine. there are no if, ands or buts.
If i went to the bathroom on purpose, yet wet my bed at a different time. its still urine.
Idk why this is a difficult concept.
Arashi5: I've said like three times it's urine, but urinating intentionally and urinating due to sexual stimulus are not the same action. If a woman intentionally pees on you, you didn't make her squirt, she chose to pee. If her body forcefully expels urine because of sexual stimulation, then you made her squirt. Squirting is a specific sexual response that did not occur in this post.
addymanny: if you reread all the comments you replied to none of them are disagreeing with you
CrazyK2222: Because she is arguing a point she herself made that no one else is arguing about.
The first point, it being piss, is agreed by everyone and that's what the conversation was about, then she brings up her other point but nobody even acknowledges it because no one was arguing about that.
☕️
Arashi5: He didn't mention piss, he said "It's the same". It's unclear if he meant the action or the product, and the product isn't relevant to a person's pride about making someone squirt, which was the topic he was replying to.
If a man is proud of making someone squirt, and then he is told they didn't actually squirt, they peed because they have a bladder condition, would he still be proud of himself? No. The liquid isn't relevant here, and it's very weird that people like to yell "SQUIRT IS URINE" when it's completely irrelevant to the discussion. It's like they're proud of themselves for figuring out the liquid that comes from the bladder is urine.
bluepand4: >He didn't mention piss, he said "It's the same". It's unclear if he meant the action or the product
Almost every other person picked up on "it" meaning the urine. I hope that finally clears it up for you!
Arashi5: And why is that relevant to a man feeling pride over making someone squirt, which that comment is in reply to?
bluepand4: Because in the end, it's all the same piss... he's saying it doesnt matter. you are too focused on the process but everyone is just talking about the product
lets use your spit and drool example, if you got your spit on me , its still gross if you got it on me, regardless of the method it was produced
HugoToledo_USA: Geez! So now the spit fetishists are the reviled! What a sad world we live in. 🤤
(Yes, that was a joke but, um, you are aware saliva is often expressed during more than a couple of sex acts, right? I’d venture to say most humans don’t find it gross.)
😁
| 15 | 690.8 | |
1666933745 | 1666965028 | t3_yfd5bt | t5_2to41 | -39 | basicbarb21: Says the person who has an imaginary friend in the sky.
[deleted]: You’re already in Hell and you don’t even know it
Kayback2: And you're here too, so how has your god helped you?
[deleted]: Everything I have I owe to Him. I’m not worthy tbh. Society is decaying because we largely abandoned God and morals in general
evilocto: Seek medical help I think you'd really benefit from it.
[deleted]: Good one low life redditooor 🤣
evilocto: Lol says the guy believing in sky fairies.
[deleted]: Imagine thinking that’s an own. Redditoooors are so rekt
evilocto: It's stating my opinion and how old are you four? Please learn to use English properly, like a normal human being.
[deleted]: When they don’t have an argument they call out the spelling. That’s how you know you’re lost
evilocto: It's not spelling, you just write like a child thinking it's cool. Show some maturity and you will look less like an idiot.
[deleted]: NPC tier shit talking
evilocto: Facts hurt your feelings aww.
[deleted]: Fluoride brain
evilocto: Lol wow what a scathing insult, however could I ever recover from that.
[deleted]: Facts hurt your feelings aww
evilocto: My god you don't even understand sarcasm.
| 17 | -2.294118 | |
1664838522 | 1665173500 | t3_xuyfry | t5_2to41 | 1,213 | ikilledfncrepairman: TIFU by Buying My 8yo Niece Granny Panties
I Bought My 8yo Niece Granny Panties
This happened on Sunday.
My sister has just moved back to Ohio from Texas. This was the first birthday party and it meant a lot more than just a party for an 8yo. It's the first time we've celebrated with them, she's 8yo, it's a big deal!
I have 4 kids who are 10, 9, 8, 7. When we walked into the dollar store, intending only to buy a bunch of cheap makeup, my 7yo suggested we get her a bra as a joke - along with the real presents. The others agreed that this would be hilarious but decided 3xl granny panties would be even better. I agreed and said we should get her some other gags as well e.g. beef Jerry, lightbulbs, dish gloves etc.
We get a large bag that says "Happy Birthday!" and a small canvas "Princess Bag". I spend $74 at the dollar store on all kinds of makeup, brushes, a few gag gifts, bag of balloons, some tissue paper, a $.99 pink table cloth and the two bags.
We put all of the good stuff in the Princess bag and laid it at the bottom of the big bag. We stuffed the table cloth onto the princess bag to create a false bottom. We layered each gag gift between colorful tissue paper. The kids and I had a Blast putting this together, laughing the whole time. We got her a TON of makeup, it's what she's into and her mom said it was okay.
We arrive at the party only to realize we'd miss the gift opening portion. Due to a soccer game that couldn't be missed, we left before any of it happened. The kids weren't devastated but it was easy to tell they were disappointed. I didn't want to be a special case and have my niece open our gift apart from everyone else's so I had my sister and her husband promise to video.
Low and behold, after driving 40mins to the soccer game, we finished just in time to drive 40mins back and join the gift opening. The kids insisted we make the drive so we did.
At this point in the day, I'm wishing I hadn't said anything about it. I mean, I no longer needed a video. I was a little frustrated by the drive but this reaction was going to be worth it. Tons of laughs from kids and adults, I'd give the kids all the credit and everyone would commend them.
Well, as you know by now, it didnt go as planned.
My niece didn't get confused or pause for any of the gags but rifled through them quickly. She didn't pretend to like any of the gags, like the videos you see on YouTube. She didn't even pull half of the gags out of the bag. She was digging through the bag hastly looking upset and annoyed. Meanwhile the room is completely silent, no one understands what's happening. The one girl I had told ahead of time is pointing at me and laughing silently. My young children can feel the room change and know this is going South; so much so that my oldest two jump up to try to explain to her that it's a joke - just as my niece reaches the bottom row of the gags. She pulls out the three pack of 3xl granny panties on a hanger and chucks them across the room in one fluid motion. She did it so quickly that many people had no idea what it was or why it happenend and began speculating out loud. She runs out of the room, down a hallway, and out of sight.
My niece, then, locks herself in the bathroom for a long time while my two daughters plead with her to see if there's anything else in the bag, explaining that the good stuff is at the bottom. Meanwhile I'm Explaining what's happened to the adults and taking 100% of the blame.
Everyone left right afterwards while my niece still had tears in her eyes. One of those traumatic experiences that, I think, she'll remember for the rest of her life.
Did I mention that it's also the first time I've seen or talked to my parents in 3yrs?
My sister insists that it was funny and my niece is going to be fine. My brother in law laughed the whole time because he could see in the bag but I definitely effed it up for the birthday girl, the other guests and my parents.
Tldr: bought gag gifts for 8yo girl. Ruined her bday and maybe her life.
Edit: Obviously it wasnt funny. FWIW We didn't leave with everyone else, my four children and four nieces played for another two hours. I apologized immediately. I know we don't know each other and that this was my TIFU but the assumptions are really sad and I'm frightened by my peers thought processes. Who among us wouldn't apologize to an 8yo girl you've traumatized?! Some of you are projecting some really evil stuff. I feel awful for those of you who have been hurt and found a way to make the story about you. I'm sorry if this story triggered those awful feelings.
This was careless mistake and is being compared to malicious patterns. I am very close with my sister and nieces. My family, the kids specifically, is the main reason that they moved back. We've never celebrated a birthday together but we're together far more often than many of my local family members.
As critical as this thread became, I'm most surprised that no one has ridiculed me for "subjecting my children to 160mins of car ride over an 8yo's birthday party." I mean, where's CPS when you really need them?
My tifu wasn't funny but it wasn't malicious or cruel. It had the potential to be funny and if any of my kids had been on the receiving end, they would have thought so... it was their idea and I helped before taking 100% of the blame when it went wrong.
For those saying it was a bad gift, gtfo. $60 gets you a TON of "big girl" makeup. She's got a dozen nail polishes, half a dozen lip sticks, half a dozen color pallets, brushes, sponges, a nail dryer, body spray, and more!! It was 100% her favorite gift and was the ONLY thing she paid any attention to for the fillowing 2-3hrs. Kiss my ass
noinnocentbystander: The real crime is dollar store makeup. There’s some good brands but overall a lot of them are low quality and contain chemicals (look up Claire’s makeup headlines). For $74 she could have gotten an eyeshadow pallet, brushes, lip gloss, and a fun highlight pallet. That’s the reaaaaal problem 😂
sihaya_wiosnapustyni: > are low quality and contain chemicals
... everything contains chemicals? Even you? Carbon, hydrogen, sulphur, oxygen, iron, magnesium...
noinnocentbystander: Are you daft?
sihaya_wiosnapustyni: Why?
noinnocentbystander: Your "why" is all I needed to know lol have a good day!
sihaya_wiosnapustyni: Your 'cHeMiCuLz!!!11!!123' was all *I* needed to know...
noinnocentbystander: Ok smarty, here's the link, please try to tell me that asbestos is totally fine to have in children's makeup. Please, I cannot wait for your bullet points. I also can't wait to hear where asbestos is inside of our bodies. I'm looking forward to it
[link here](https://www.businessinsider.com/asbestos-in-makeup-chemicals-in-beauty-products-2019-3)
sihaya_wiosnapustyni: Originally you mentioned "chemicals" in general and not any specific chemical substance. A face powder, for instance, without chemicals, i.e., without zinc oxide, mica, titanium dioxide, hematite, et caetera, would be simply nonexistent.
It is about as asinine as claiming that mushrooms are harmful and when people disagree with that opinion you suddenly be like "oh yeah? then explain to me how exactly death caps are safe to eat!". Playing chess with a pigeon, in other words.
| 9 | 134.777778 | |
1664398282 | 1665605663 | t3_xqo1ag | t5_2to41 | 66 | Ponyoarrietty: TIFU by amputating my own finger
I was preparing a delicious dinner for myself, the recipe required me to finely sliced some herbs, parsley to be specific…
Now, I’m no stranger to the kitchen, I enjoy cooking, so I was chopping this parsley with some speed. I will admit that I perhaps underestimated how sharp this kitchen knife was and that I without doubt was not protecting my fingers in the proper way whilst chopping.
I suddenly felt an intense and very painful feeling at the end of my index finger, I assumed I had just cut it slightly so started running it under water…it was at this moment I knew I had fucked up… blood started filling the sink and it felt oddly cold and sensitive. I couldn’t really see my finger through all the blood but upon closer inspection of the knife on the side I could see the end of my finger lying on the blade.
After initial reluctance to go to hospital to seek medical attention I realised the blood was not going to stop pouring any time soon, despite my makeshift bandage of a microfibre cloth and parcel tape…
So went to accident and emergency only after seeking a doctor’s opinion over the phone.
On the plus side I was seen outrageously quickly, but it did involve the wound being cauterised which was like blinding white pain.
Anyway, I’ve been told it should heal to be totally back to normal but the take away message here really is knives can ruin lives and fingers. Be safe out there.
TL;DR I cut the end of my index finger off whilst chopping parsley.
Izal20077: Wait like an entire section of your finger? 😦
Ponyoarrietty: It was a good hunk off the tip. Including half my nail. Will try and link a picture if you’re into fairly gross looking injuries…
zaeviairl: I don’t think that’s really amputation.
Ponyoarrietty: Well as I’m not medically trained and don’t know what is considered an amputation, I chose the words the medical staff had used with me at the time to write this post. Apologies if you felt it was incorrect to label it an amputation.
zaeviairl: I’m not trying to be rude I just feel like it’s a little bit exaggerated. To me amputation is a full limb but i guess there’s not any other word for it.
Own-Marionberry2357: Amputation is the correct term for removal of a limb, or finger, or toe. There may even be other appropriate uses that I’m not aware of. We just use it most often with limbs in the media
| 7 | 9.428571 | |
1664864360 | 1664902334 | t3_xv7c49 | t5_2to41 | 429 | Quinn_eth: TIFU By Calling My Friend's Mom A Hoe
Yesterday at lunch, my friend and I, (I will call her Anna)were kind of joking around, we were in a good mood and it was all light-hearted. Then, without thinking, I said, "Your mom's a hoe". I was quite surprised I said that as it came out of my mouth so suddenly, and I am never that type of person unless I feel comfortable around someone.
Her reaction? Well, it wasn't that bad in person as she kinda laughed it off a bit, but she kinda looked awkward. I thought that things were fine, just a little slip-up joke that nobody understood.
At home, I was tending to my usual duties, when a received a text from Anna. She said that she was confused and she didn't know how to react--she also mentioned that it wasn't a nice thing to say. I was quite shocked that I received this text, and I did not even expect a negative response from her. Anna's use of internet slang is quite trendy, and she sounded like any other gen-z who goes on TikTok, so I thought that she would be familiar with the "your mom" jokes. I understand that from her perspective, it is my fault, but from my perspective, it's all misunderstanding.
This morning, she was in my English class, and our seats are placed right next to each other. I explained that the statement was not intentional, and that it was not supposed to be genuine. She gave a neutral response: Ok.
We stopped talking for the rest of the day and I am here racking my brain out because I don't know if she still want to be friends. I would give her time to think, but it's giving me a hard time and I can't focus on my schoolwork or have a good night's sleep.
I am in need of advice to mend our friendship.
TL;DR I made a "your mom" joke and my friend won't talk to me anymore. What do I do?
EDIT: Forgot to mention that I did apologize through text yesterday, however she left me on read.
EDIT: Today at lunch, she went up to me and explained that it wasn't that big of a deal and that she wants us to still be friends. Thank you for all the advice, I was planning on asking her straight up, but I decided to give her time which resulted in this.
uninvitedfriend: Did you apologize, or did you just explain why you copied the jokes you saw on tiktok? Because if you just explained, she might feel like you were telling her why she was wrong for being upset.
Quinn_eth: I did apologize, she left me on read.
6ft9man: Did you just vsay "I'm sorry"? Or did you write an actual apology that was genuine, showed true contrition, and that you realized what you said was completely off base?
Quinn_eth: I did write a genuine apology. I said that I am someone who needs a filter on some days because I wouldnt be thinking straight, and apologized for causing her harm. I asked for forgiveness, and that is when she left me on read.
6ft9man: You apologized for causing her harm instead of apologizing for being a complete ass? Saying you need a filter sounds like you're trying to give an excuse and push some of the blame by subcontext (i.e. "you know I have no filter some days. I didn't intend to hurt you with my words which were clearly said in poor taste, but you know I'm like that, so I don't know what you're expecting.")
A proper apology comes in several steps:
- Acknowledge what you said was wrong.
- Take full responsibility for your actions.
- Explain that you understand that what you said was absolutely hurtful and was completely out of line.
So a proper apology would look like this: Hello (name). I wanted to sincerely apologize for calling your mother names like that the other day. It was completely out of line for me to make those comments and I understand now how hurtful my words were. I know sometimes I can be completely thoughtless when I talk and I am trying to be better about that. I can only hope that you can forgive my thoughtless actions and we can continue to be friends.
I get the feeling that this is part of a long pattern of behavior on your part, OP, and this is far from the first hurtful thing you've said to someone. If you ever intend on keeping friends long term, you need to figure out how to make some serious changes in the thoughtless and hurtful things you say to, and about, others.
kingdaume: OP wasn’t a complete ass though. They made a normal, innocuous comment and apologized when it became clear they’d offended. Should have been the end of it.
What OP shouldn’t have to do is resort to *groveling* for their friendquaintance’s forgiveness when 1) it was such a tiny offense, and 2) the kid won’t even explain why they got so incredibly bent out of shape about it.
These comments are treating OP like they pissed on their mom’s grave — *little* over the top, no?
What’s truly crazy to me is how comfortable *you* felt slinging that final assumption about OP’s social life. Utterly baseless and, ironically, *rude as fuck* to say to somebody you don’t know!
6ft9man: They did something that caused injury to a friend. You own up to it and apologize. You have no idea why she's acting like that. For all we know, her mother may have been unfaithful to her partner. Or maybe mom is sick. Or there's abuse. None of which she's required to tell anybody. So, if you say something that causes pain, apologize for it.
Also, that's not groveling. That's simply giving a full and complete apology.
kingdaume: ***They did apologize.***
“I’m sorry for what I said; I didn’t realize it would be hurtful to you, but recognize and regret that it was and won’t do it again” is a full and complete apology. They don’t need to say they were “completely out of line” because they weren’t. At all. So why would there be any reason for OP to villainize themself?
6ft9man: They said roughly 'in sorry I hurt you". That's not an apology, that's an appeasement. They didn't take ownership of it, instead deflecting it to "i have no filter".
As stated in my previous post, there are steps to making an apology. You own up to your mistake, which op didn't. They shrugged their shoulders, said, 'that's how I am" and "I'm sorry your feelings got hurt".
kingdaume: “I’m sorry I hurt you” is an apology, actually. It’s acknowledging you caused harm, taking responsibility, and expressing remorse.
“I’m sorry you got hurt” is a *completely different statement*, and not an apology.
You using them interchangeable here is deeply disingenuous and eyeroll-worthy.
| 11 | 39 | |
1665478680 | 1665498752 | t3_y1407a | t5_2to41 | 10,523 | Captain__Cow: TIFU by underestimating the potency of my special stay-awake sauce.
Mood: >! light-hearted, hopefully entertaining !<
TW: >! Mild-to-moderate substance abuse !<
Gather 'round, friends, and let me tell you a story of ill-advised mixology, daring bluffs, and a host of glamorous and not-so-glamorous exploits. I'd like to apologize in advance for amy typos; my hands are rather shaky at the moment, for reasons that will soon become apparent.
~ ~ ~
The time was 7:00 pm today. I was sitting in a lecture hall, struggling to stay awake. I still had two hours of class to get through, and the teacher's droning, soporific voice was doing a grave disservice to what should have been a fascinating topic.
I wasn't concerned, though; I had a secret weapon. I reached into my bag, and retreived the vial of *Captain Cow's Particularly Potent Pick-me-up Potion* I had prepared this morning. I uncorked the bottle and took a small sip of the cloudy red liquid inside. It burned my throat, and the acrid, bitter taste clung to my lips. It took half a bottle of water to purge the evil flavors from my mouth. But then, this stuff wasn't supposed to taste good; it was supposed to get *results*. I sat and waited eagerly for it to take effect.
Half an hour later, the temptation to drift off to sleep was still there, clouding my mind and weighing down my eyelids. I decided I needed a little more juice. This time I took a hearty mouthful, forcing it down my throat despite my body's protests.
That, dear reader, was a mistake.
~ ~ ~
At this point, we should rewind a few years for some much-needed context. This is the part of the story with the daring bluff and the glamorous exploits.
I graduated high school with the help of prescription stimulants, which were only prescribed for a short time. I took them on an as-needed basis, and squirreled the excess away for a rainy day.
Fast forward a few years, to the rainiest rainy day in recent history: the pandemic. The collective mental health of the world took a nosedive, and I was right there with everyone else, plummeting toward rock-bottom. I remembered how well prescription stimulants had worked for me in the past, but I didn't want to exhaust my dwindling stash or pay exorbitant prices for street adderall, so I started looking into alternatives.
Dear reader... did you know you can just go on the internet and buy a canister of pure, laboratory-grade caffeine? I didn't, until one fateful night in December of last year. I sat staring at my computer screen, my mind awash with new hope and anticipation. I added the canister to my cart, and pressed the big green button.
As it turns out, ordering stimulants - even legal ones - from an industrial biochemical supply company isn't as simple as "just push the big green button." They wanted to know that I was a responsible scientist working with a reputable research institution, and not, for example, a burned-out college student trying to impulse-buy enough caffeine to kill a horse. I sat staring at the form for a while, wondering if I was the kind of person who would try to bluff their way through a background check to order soft drugs from a chemical supply company. The bottle of single-malt on my desk cast the deciding vote.
I woke up the next morning feeling bright and chipper. (My brain was designed to be alcoholic. I get anti-hangovers.) I sat down at my computer and checked my email: one new message, from a contact at a biochemical supply company. The events of the previous night came flooding back to me.
*Oh fucking hell ass balls,* I thought. *They must have followed up with the school. I'm probably about to be expelled. Son of a ass, why did I think this would work?*
Heart pounding, I opened the email.
"Dear Cow," it read. "We're writing to inform you that your recent request to be added to the list of authorized purchasers for Cow College has been approved. Click this link to complete your order."
I stared at the screen, dumbfounded. I clicked the link, still dumbfounded. I placed my order. I spent the rest of the year adding carefully-measured portions of semi-legally-obtained caffeine to my tea, making each cup of chamomile the equivalent of eight cups of coffee.
I was *back,* baby!
I got back into cooking. I took up hobbies. I went on dates. I pulled all-nighters. I went from nocturnal to diurnal to nocturnal again. I did all my homework on the roof (students weren't supposed to have roof access, but I was an exception because I was good at picking locks.) I saved my declining grades. I graduated.
I decided to take more classes.
~ ~ ~
...which brings us to today, when I decided a swig of *Mama Moo's Probably-Potable Pep Potation* was exactly what I needed to make it through my evening class.
"So, Cow," I hear you ask, "what was in this mysterious mixture?"
Everything, I reply with a shameful grimace. Everything was in it. It was half espresso and half tobasco sauce, fortified with pure caffeine, amphetamine, nicotine and methylphenidate. One sip is the equivalent of washing down a ritalin and half an adderall with twelve cups of coffee. A shot glass of the stuff would send an adult into ventricular fibrillation. It's an unholy blend of stimulants and capsaicin in an acid bath. It's an ill-advised, irresponsible and most-certainly-illegal elixer of inexorable anxious energy. It should never be imbibed. It should be sealed in a lead-lined box to protect future generations. It's a crime against nature. I should be locked up for creating it.
So now I lie here in my bed, taking long deep breaths, trying to keep my mind and body under control while the concoction slowly drains from my system. My muscles are trembling, my resting heartrate is 90bpm, and I can feel the adrenaline and cortisol pumping through my veins. It's a good thing I have prior practice preventing panic attacks, or else I'd surely be curled into a fetal ball of suffering by now.
Don't worry, internet friends, I've learned my lesson.
Next time, I'll only take one swig.
~ ~ ~
TL;DR - Today, I mixed up a bottle of *Sergeant Steer's Suspiciously-Strong Stay-awake Sauce* to help me stay awake through my evening class. It was an unholy mixture of espresso, tobasco, laboratory-grade caffeine, amphetamine, nicotine and methylphenidate. I underestimated its potency and imbibed far more than I should have. Now I'm suffering through the after-effects of my satanic swill, trying to keep my mind and body under control until the evil brew has run its course. Lesson learned: one. sip. only.
~ ~ ~
EDIT: I'm kind of floored by how much people have engaged with this, both to appreciate and condemn it, and I'd like to address a thing or two.
1: Everything I've described is a terrible idea, that nobody should imitate. I'm playing up the chaos goblin undergrad character to make for an entertaining read, but the truth is all of these decisions were bad ones. In hindsight, a couple honest conversations with a psychiatrist would have been a much *much* better way to address my mental health struggles during the pandemic. Oh well, better late than never, which brings me to point 2:
2: The concern and support from y'all has been heartwarming and eye-opening for me. I've written a lot of comments in the past few hours telling people not to follow my example, and I'm realizing I really needed someone to tell me that too. I'm going to email my psychiatrist tomorrow and set up an appointment. It's long overdue. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression / ADHD / feeling unable to function, know that you're not alone, and there are a lot of great people you can turn to for support ♥
3: omg you guys really like my writing that much? Aw shucks... y'know... I recently wrote a short story as a comment in another sub... and I was sad that nobody saw it... I think it's much more well-written than this post, so like... I dunno, if anyone is looking for something short and silly to read, y'know 👉👈
_koko_k: I've exam on 15th Oct :)
Captain__Cow: No no no, do not follow in my footsteps. Down this path, only madness lies.
_koko_k: I won't :)
gloomydai: 🤔
_koko_k: 🙂
hotel_soaps: 🤔🤔
_koko_k: 🤫🥴
GiantMeteor2017: 
_koko_k: I'm not doing it 🥺
GiantMeteor2017: 
_koko_k: ☺
| 12 | 876.916667 | |
1664899212 | 1664909715 | t3_xvgc5v | t5_2to41 | -17 | Spicy_Brit: OP clearly stated he was broke and stealing necessities. I think it's you privileged assholes that are rarely smart.
TheHazyBotanist: In college i was so broke i could barely afford food at times. I never stole. It's almost impossible to starve in any western country, because there are plenty of ways to get food without stealing.
Your morals are flawed.... Choosing not to steal has nothing to do with privilege
Edit: I'd like any of you morons downvoting to explain how paying for my own education and refusing to steal because there are other options is privileged in any way. Y'all are ridiculously foolish
kidcool97: “Could barely afford”
You know their are people below that level of poverty, that CAN’T afford.
Do you want a cookie for not needing to steal to eat?
TheHazyBotanist: I was literally eating free food at times, for weeks on end. Why are you so triggered over people who view theft as wrong? There's literally no reason to steal food in the West . Your lack of any basic morality or ability to process context is astounding
madmilton49: And where were you getting this free food? You're just assuming everyone has access to the same opportunities as you. Seek help.
TheHazyBotanist: How is eating expired, thrown out food an opportunity that others don't have? Are you people actually this braindead? There are always plenty of programs to get free food, which I've never used. I'm actually getting pissed off at how stupid you are
NeonAlastor: The groceries put locks on their dumpsters now. Food banks aren't always an option - I was turned away from a few because I didn't have the right paperwork, or the 3 $ to buy a food basket.
I think you have a point, but there are others who may be less resourceful or some who don't speak the language or some who ... just slip through the cracks in the system.
TheHazyBotanist: Ask a cool employee (convenience stores are what i did), check restaurants at close, or consult a local shelter for help.
My main point is I'm being attacked and called "privileged" for saying i refused to resort to theft. Instead of stealing, i ate what i could get. In what world is that privilege.... I'd wager most of the people coming at me received more financial support than I've ever seen, because everything I've got i earned myself
kidcool97: Oh congrats on pulling yourself up by your boot straps. How’s the boot taste being the “better” poor person.
TheHazyBotanist: Where do I call myself better? You people get so triggered when others would rather find moral alternatives to stealing
kidcool97: Stealing necessities from major corporations is not immoral. Get off you high horse.
TheHazyBotanist: >Stealing necessities from major corporations is not immoral.
Stealing is immoral. You could be taking bonuses away from minimum wage employees. When i worked retail, theft cut into my pay.
So are you okay taking money from minimum wage employees? Maybe they have to go hungry because people decided it's okay to screw them over
kidcool97: I love that you are blaming the starving persons theft and not the corporation for illegally cutting wages due to theft.
TheHazyBotanist: So you're still saying it's okay to steal from people who might also be going hungry.... It's so pathetic it's laughable
kidcool97: If a store cuts pay of its employees because someone stole ramen, they should also steal from the store.
TheHazyBotanist: So you just have no moral compass.... You're advocating for people to literally just steal from anyone they can
NeonAlastor: They just think that losses are part of a shop's business expenditure's, just like an employee's wage is. And that there should be no link between the two. If a business takes stolen costs out of employee's wages, then that's stealing, and there's nothing wrong with stealing it right back.
I mean, how is it the employee's fault that things get stolen ? The bigger stores here all tell their staff to not confront robbers, but let them go and report it.
Some stores will hire security, and THOSE will confront people, but it's not up to the cashier to do that job.
TheHazyBotanist: I agree. But it still sucks to see people constantly walking out of your place of employment with stolen products when you know it's going to lower your earnings. I just wish other people could think for someone other than themselves for once. That's why it's up to customers to not screw everyone over
kidcool97: It’s up to the corporation not to screw over their employee
NeonAlastor: omg they agreed with my 3 paragraphs - then when you resumed them to a sentence, they insulted you wtf xD
kidcool97: I’m finding this whole thing fascinating. Apparently we are the immoral once for saying if someone steals bread it’s not their fault a major corporations steals from their employees.
Taking compensation from wages for shrinkage(theft) is already illegal. IDK why that’s not the thing he is morally outraged at.
When I worked minimum wage I would have sacrificed my bonus if I knew a mother could feed her child or a teenager could focus on school with a full belly and clean clothes.
NeonAlastor: In the last post I replied to, he said they give expired food to homeless, but a lot of them try to return the stuff for money to buy drugs.
Not sure I really believe that, but ok, cool !
Then goes on to say that there's armed guards and there's been multiple dead in shootouts.
Uhhhhhh oook AND HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER THAN CHARGING 50 CENTS MORE FOR BREAD ?
Oh right. He gets a bonus.
Fucking hell ...
kidcool97: Ah yea getting to the root of the issue. He was one of the Good Poors that never stole or turned to drug to cope with living a shitty existence, and thinks he is a better person for it.
I bet he sneers in distain at pan handlers, talks shit about the people begging his store for scraps.
Didn’t like that no one in this thread gives a fuck that he didn’t steal bread.
| 23 | -0.73913 | |
1666980269 | 1666992051 | t3_yfw2gt | t5_2to41 | 707 | Plastic-Refuse3047: TIFU By giving nudes to a “girl”
I (m18) have given this "girl" that followed me on insta my nudes after she invited me to video chat her. Me being like "ok I got lucky" soon realized that it was a scam and she/him was asking for money. So me being me decide to mess with his/her time cause I was disappointed.
(I recorded the conversation if anyone is interested dm me)
So here is a advice to horny lonely teens don’t be stupid enough to share your junk to other people unless is a loved one that you love and trust. If you are lonely and desperate get yourself out there explore and stuff don’t just expect something without even earning it. If you are interested in someone don’t wait around sure you can be shy and nervous about her/his response but if you don’t say anything nothing will never come out of it if you never try.
TL;DR Don’t be a horny person and fall for traps they can be dangerous and can put you on a risky situation
ModernLeper_22: Literally every day on here. Several times a day. Why are men so stupid? Smdh
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: The brain turns off to let the penis do what it wants 😂
ModernLeper_22: I’m not having that. Are men all really this stupid or lacking in control? It’s an OBVIOUS scam. Everyone please see r/scams. Ffs, didn’t think my opinion of men could go much lower after experiencing OLD
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: Yeah I'd say most men have some story about doing something while horny that they wouldn't do otherwise. And tbf it's an obvious scam but also not really a big deal. I know my life wouldn't really change if my nudes were leaked to my family and friends. Not to mention the scammers are all talk anyway
ModernLeper_22: Exactly, but guys have taken their own lives over it before
Eta: why is this getting downvoted when it’s ACTUALLY TRUE (someone else mentions it above)
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: I hadn't heard of that happening before. I agree that anyone who has an absolute need to keep their nudes private should vet potential sexting partners much harder than op and other scam victims.
ModernLeper_22: And just for the record, women don’t think like men, and no woman is going to send a rando nudes a few minutes after they’ve met. They’re more likely to direct you to their onlyfans if genuine
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: Well yeah, I assume most who have fallen for it are either desperate or inexperienced 😅
ModernLeper_22: Just read TIFU every day
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: Well op here said they thought they got lucky so I don't think that changes what I said much haha
ModernLeper_22: Nor what I said lol
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: I'm not sure I understand then
ModernLeper_22: The same scenario is on here literally every day
DM_ME_SMALL_PP: Gotcha lol. Well not much to say. There are a lot of desperate men in the world
ModernLeper_22: Nothing to add to that.
| 16 | 44.1875 | |
1666299517 | 1666364770 | t3_y99rng | t5_2to41 | 750 | blackcatonacid: TIFU by eating shrooms and violently forcing my girlfriend to throw up
This happened last night , I just woke up and still traumatised and English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if its going to be bit hard to read.
I [M,26] lives in Colombia for the last 6 months (originally from the middle east) with my girlfriend [F,22] (local).
Me and my girlfriend love to eat shrooms together from time to time while working out , reading, travelling the nature and things like that.
Even though we are together for just 6 months we know each other so well , and know how to deal with tripping well , so we always know what to say to the other if the trip went wrong to fix it and make the experience pleasant and beneficial for us both.
But not last night... last night was something different.. we had 10 g we bought from someone new and we haven't tried those yet , we decided to eat 3 each and have calm evning watching movies or documentaries. (3 grams usually dont gives us that strong of an experience, we both already tried 6-7 gram on multiple occasions and dealt with that well)
So for the first few hours my girlfriend was tripping hardly and I barely felt anything and thought that this time I'm not going to feel anything as much time have passed and I was sure it was going to only get weaker from this point.
Our conversation turned really dark few times , talks about mental illness , suicides and things like that... I was still pretty sober so I managed to calm her and change the subject every time she talked about those things and suggesting that we should talk about things like that in the morning while we are sober... but I guess that this thoughts and information sneaked into my mind....
Now I'm still pretty traumatised to speak about all that happened that night so I'll cut to the main fuck up and might edit later and add some more details.
About 5-6 hours after we ate the shrooms (in that time I'm usually way after my trip)
I find myself with 0 memory about who I got here , who is my girlfriend, where am I, why am I drugged, how the fuck I speak Spanish.. complete blackout.
I look at my hands and in my hands my girlfriend's sleeping pills package, and for some reason in my mind I have the thought that she took many pills to commit suicide, I look at her and I'm sure I can still see pills smashed over her lips , I can hear her mouth so dried from the huge amount of pills I'm sure she just shoved in her mouth.
I tried asking her how many pills she took but she was still drugged and just scared me more by answering , "I don't know" , "nothing or maybe just 1 or maybe 2"... such suspicious answers..
Know imagine this situation from my eyes for a moment, I know I'm in Colombia but I don't know how I got here or what city I'm in... I don't know who this girl or what am I doing here.. all I know she just tried to commit suicide and if I won't do something know I'm going to wake up tomorrow with a dead body, in strange country.
I'm thinking to myself that's it , you really done this time , you fucked up , you fucked up so bad , there isn't way back from this , this girls death is going to be on you , you will never see your family or daylight again , you fucked up , the life you know are over , you have to do something to fix it , if you're going to let this girl fall asleep she won't wake up.
So I'm starting to scream at her she has to throw up , she has to throw up all of that.
She is telling she didn't took anything but I don't believe her , I see her eyes I can see she is drugged (of course not remembering that we even ate the shrooms so I'm sure it's because of the pills).
I'm screaming at her she has to throw this up , and she tells me she just need to sleep , she can't do this anymore (talking about that we are drugged but my mind in those moments thought this was suicidal talk...)
She is telling me she can't manage to throw up and that I should help her if that's important, so I stuck my hands in her throat trying to help her throw up.
She is throwing up all over my hand but I don't care , I don't want this person to die here, I keep yelling at her "why did you do this?" , "how did I get here?" , "why am I drugged" , "please don't die" , "please don't go to sleep"
Needles to say it was traumatising experience for both of us.. but we have talked since and she doesn't resent me for what happened... we both agreed we needed a break until the next trip and there are things in our life we need to change and improve first...
The apartment looks like war happened here last night and after what I did i volunteer to clean it all by myself, so that's what I'll be doing for today.
TL;DR
Got bad trip from shrooms , didn't remember who is my girlfriend, thought she tried to commit suicide by pills so I violently shoved my hand down her throat while yelling at her.
AllanfromWales1: I don't know what you took, but normal shrooms would not do that to you. Timescales and effects don't add up. I'd avoid the guy who sold you those.
SirPage: High doses of mushrooms can definitely do this ....
AllanfromWales1: OP says this was a low dose..
shorterthanyou15: 3g is definitely a high dose, especially if they are potent shrooms.
AllanfromWales1: Nonsense. OP himself said he was used to higher doses. Personally I'll take ten times that, and have never had a bad trip. Also, the delay before onset of the bad trip isn't what I'd expect from shrooms as opposed to something 'treated' with pcp or who knows what to make it more potent.
Mrs_Peabody: You’ve taken over an ounce of shrooms in one sitting? Jesus. I pick psilocybe cyanescens which are stronger than liberty caps and take 3.5 g when I trip. Most I’ve taken is 7 g which was intense but not in a bad way. Even with liberty caps not being as potent as cyanescens, 30 g sounds insane.
AllanfromWales1: I'm 67, jaded by years of excess, and morbidly obese..
Mrs_Peabody: Lol, heard! Chasin’ the sensation!
| 9 | 83.333333 | |
1667004533 | 1667036095 | t3_yg5jt0 | t5_2to41 | 6,370 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a close friend nudes.
[deleted]
Mechanic-Beast7: If she’s a close friend she will understand your mistake.
As someone said already, keep your explicit pictures in a hidden map or something to prevent this.
I think you will be alright, be careful next time!
that_one_wierd_guy: a best friend will just give you shit for it, forever
ArltheCrazy: Or her friend could could have gotten a random dock pic to send back and been like “let’s smash”. Then given OP shit forever
AshyBoneVR4: I feel like this is what dudes would do. I don't think girls think like this.
folktro: Plenty of women give each other shit for mistakes like this (in a friendly manner) at least in my friend group lmao
AshyBoneVR4: I'm talking about specifically the interaction he mentioned where a girl sends another girl a nude, and the other girl sends back a dick pic.
folktro: Yeah I've done that plenty of times
AshyBoneVR4: Huh.... bravo.
| 9 | 707.777778 | |
1666458512 | 1666682124 | t3_yat1nn | t5_2to41 | 29 | howling-afro: TIFU by losing my friends at a festival and getting sexually propositioned by not 1 but 2 security guards during the course of one night
Hi. It's kind of a long one but I promise it's interesting, to me and the people I've told. First time posting in this sub reddit, inspired by rslash .
This story takes place at a music festival that's about 6 years old in my country that's become a really big thing in recent years. I was 22 (F) at the time. I had been to the festival before it had blown up but this was the first going with a group of my friends who were all first time goers.
It's a four day festival going from Thursday to Sunday and it takes place at a resort/ camping ground that's by the Nile ( this is in Africa if you haven't figured it out yet). It's a really big space ( important for later).
So we get there Friday , with only me and one other girl camping at the site ( I was the only one who brought a tent ) we were a group of 14.
We arrive Friday. We got there at around 4pm set up and toured the grounds, the main acts didn't start until around 7 pm, something about people preferring to party after dark. They're we're about 5 stages hosting a variety of musical acts and vibes spread out all around the resort plus an eternal disco and a bunch of other stuff.
At 7 pm we as a group head over to the main stage where an act was performing, so it was already heavily packed and already dark. We move towards the front but to the side of the crush of people, I being the enthusiast that I am inched slowly forward into the crowd to get a better view of the act ( the start of my F up ),
the music hits and I'm enjoying the show. During an act change I turn back to say something to one of my friends and that's when I realized they were gone and thus begins my long but no purely dedicated search.
I'm obviously a bit disgruntled that they left without me but still optimistic at the time that I could catch up to them. So begins my search.
( For those wondering why I didn't call, I'd left my phone at a charging station earlier so that wasn't an option). I bounced around from stage to stage looking for them but also enjoying the different shows while taking the occasional break to smoke a bit of the herb and get something to drink.
I bumped into a few people I knew including some family, hang out for a bit and proceeded with my search, even got to perform at one of the smaller stages ( I'm a poet and I found one of my musician friends performing and she invited me on ).
Time has passed, still no sight of my friends, it's about 1am, I've circled the grounds at least twice and I'm tired, also coming off a high and so I look for a place to rest my weary, over twerked self and I decided with my infinite wisdom on a section of low wall that overlooks the river, it ran the length of the resorts access to the river but I obviously chose the more quiet and secluded spot that was in relative darkness and was littered with couples also looking for a quiet space to make out ( further plunge into my F up )
so I take a sit, look out at the river and close my eyes a bit, taking in the night air when a security guard henceforth known as S1 approaches me at my spot. he was a male, looked to be in his early 30's, possibly a hard late 20's. He asks if I'm okay, I say I'm all good and he walks away occasionally looking back. I figured this was normal ( lots of intoxicated people at the festival ) he was probably just doing his job.
I put him out of my mind and continue with my rest. S1 makes a second sweep of the area and then a third before he walks up to me again, at this point I'm kinda getting annoyed because they're were others like me but he hadn't bothered to say anything to them. He finally reaches me again, asks of I'm ok, I reiterate that I'm fine but this time he doesn't leave so I ask if I can help him with anything ( big mistake) S1 proceeds to tell me that I'm beautiful and get this .. he's fallen IN. LOVE. WITH. ME! and that ladies and gentlefolk was my cue to bounce,
but that's not where my story ends, that'd be to simple..
I leave and re-enter the festivities as I had before, met some new friends, partied and got high some more with S1 safely out of my mind. It's now 6 am approaching 7 and I figured it'd be great to close the night by watching the sun rise over the river ..( see where this is going) I go to a different part of the wall this time there's lots of people around all hoping to experience the same thing as me.
I once again park my weary weight on the wall and stare out into the river, clouds came in and there was no sunrise. I still don't know where my friends are so I'm sitting and contemplating going back to my tent and calling someone later after some much needed sleep BUT THEN... To my horror I see another security guard approaching me who we'll call S2. Male seemingly middle aged with a poke marked face and a obvious beer gut, wearing a bad fitting navy blue uniform with the word security plastered in big yellow letters across his chest. ( I'm having flashbacks ).
S2 asks if I'm fine ( now I wondered what I looked like ). I say I am but he doesn't leave. We stare at each other for a minute and then he finally decides to speak . He says he needs a favor and i respond it depends on the favor ( cement in my nights F up) I figured that there might be a reveler in need of assistance and he needs someone to either act as a guide to say the med tent or wherever.
This man looked me dead in the eyes and goes
" Miss, if I'm really being honest with you .... I WANT A F**K ! " Those were his words verbatim. Leaving me for a moment shocked pickachu face and wondering if there was a sign on me that said security guards can get it.
I got up and just walked away to the camping grounds and my tent because clearly I was in need of the safety of sleep. I found three of my friends passed out in my two person tent which was great...I ended up sleep dozing Infront of the main stage but that's a story for another day.
TLDR : Basically I lost my friends at music festival, spent the whole night wondering around looking for them only to be told I love you by one security guard at 1 am and asked to F**k by another at 7 am at two completely different spots and still didn't find my friends.
RNGinx3: Sorry, I tried to read this but kept getting lost in the wall of text. Paragraphs help. <3
That said from what I was able to skim, I'd have a) stuck with a friend and b) kicked the two tent thieves out and let them sleep outside since they didn't bring a tent lol.
howling-afro: Thanks for powering through it. I'll try to break it up more
As for a) solid advice but I've tried since then to go for festivals with people who actually notice my absence because non of them looked for me and apparently they spent the whole night backstage at one of the stages
b) I was too kind and tired for my own good and I honestly didn't have the energy for that confrontation
| 3 | 9.666667 | |
1666408787 | 1666485464 | t3_yacpjo | t5_2to41 | 8,058 | Responsible-Scar7295: TIFU by going into the wrong locker at my local gym.
I normally go to a gym in Columbus OH and I have a very set schedule and know the layout well. I go super early in the morning and it’s usually empty and normally a good experience overall.
I recently traveled to MD and since my gym is a chain gym, I was able to use my membership at a local gym there.
I went into the MD gym, nice enough place, went to the first locker room on my right which is usually the male locker room. I chose a random locker, put my stuff away and proceeded to workout.
Completed my workout, nothing out of the ordinary, I went back to my locker to undress and shower and once again the locker room was empty, however, when I was completely undressed about to wrap myself in a towel, a woman walked in and we both kind of screamed. She kinda ran out and I never saw her again. I got dressed really quick, no shower and went outside to double check the male locker room sign.
At this moment I realized I messed up when I saw the women’s locker room sign, I felt so bad and like such a creep. I walked over and found a female attendant and explained the situation. She laughed, and went and got my stuff.
I just went home and showered. I flashed that poor unsuspecting woman.
Tl;Dr I accidentally used the wrong locker room.
Interesting-Month-56: I did something similar one night at a bar in college when I was pretty wasted.
id_death: girls used to come in and piss in the men's room sink at bars while I was using the urinal in college... just remembered that....
6138: Was that because the womens restroom was full? Or... you know they just wanted to mess with you guys?
single_malt_jedi: I had a friend who would use the men's room at bars on the regular. Her reasoning: there wasn't a line at the men's room and I had to pee.
6138: Using the mens restroom is fair enough, when you gotta go, you gotta go, there's not a lot you can do about it.
But... In the sink??? I've never heard of that one...
purduephotog: >But... In the sink??? I've never heard of that one...
Have you ever seen how many guys- even in a professional office- don't wash their hands when they leave the restroom?
MmmmapleSyrup: Why would I wash my hands in something a drunk woman just pissed in?
Willing_Violinist745: This reminds me of the video where an older guy was using the cakes in the long urinal trough like they were soap and rinsing with the piss in the trough. The look on his face when the guy filming him explained what he was doing!
mreshadow: Was a chick reporter. Danish I think, with an American guy.
| 10 | 805.8 | |
1667015429 | 1667259540 | t3_yg968m | t5_2to41 | 260 | hairymange: TIFU Embarrassing drunk story
So this happened a while ago, however I decided to share this story with the internet. One summer night along time ago, my bro his GF and I decided we were all getting hammered. To be specific we were drinking tequila. We drank most of the night and the last thing that I remember is passing out on the couch. At some point in the night i started sleep walking. In my drunken, somehow physically capable of walking slumber, my body decided on a plan that my mind refused to be present for, so my mind entered the witness protection program (blackout drunk). I went in to my brothers room, where he and his innocent gf at the time lay so peaceful and still. My bro apparently had been awake trying to go to bed, so i find out later the next day when i hear about my drunken escapades. I , in my blacked out genius thinking, walk over to the edge of my brothers bed. he lay there feeling a still in the air of the calm before the storm. He turns over and looks up to see me standing there, so full of shock he is speechless for he knows what comes next. The storm arrives and him and his gf get a golden shower as i decide to make it rain on them. He yells fuck and throws the blanket over them but it is too late. His girlfriend wakes up as her curly hair is drenched from the thunderstorm. The shocked and angry Puerto Rican girl begins screaming at my brother in spanish, a language he knows nothing of. So while my poor brother is being screamed at in spanish, while he is soaked in tequila piss, his own bed soaked down to the mattress, i am still pissing. His gf, who is also one of my besties, blamed him and stormed out of the apartment for the night. He looks at me slowly fumbling around, making my way to the couch to pass out as if nothing had happened. I found out the next day when my mind had returned from the witness protection program, all that unfolded the night before
TL:DR. tequila got me blacked out, sleepwalk to my brothers room, he and his girl gets golden shower, she gets mad at him
handinhand12: Yeah I have a similar story...
This happened right after me and my wife moved into a new apartment. Our dog's bed is at the foot of our bed. Apparently I woke up in the middle of the night and just started peeing on the little guy. My wife said she woke up because he started going crazy trying to make me stop. She asked me what I was doing and I just replied "We always do this," as if it was normal. She knew something was up so she asked me what my middle name was and I said "Thomas (true)...Or Montana." Montana was where I was born.
At this point she's freaking out at the whole situation and starts taking the sheets off our bed since my pee had gotten all over the bottom of them as well. She tells me to go let our dog outside because he's still freaking out so I do. We go back in and I just laid down in the bed and went back to sleep. I woke up 20 minutes or so later after she had given him a quick bath and thrown everything in the laundry. I remember asking her why she was doing laundry in the middle of the night and she told me everything.
The funniest part of the story is that the next day, we both left for a while and when we had gotten home, our dog had peed on my pillow. Never in his life had he done that and he's never done it since. I can't help but feel like he was getting back at me...
I've had several other incidents but after looking it up, it seems like there's several things that cause it. Genetics, new places, drinking, and stress are some of them. My dad has had a history of sleepwalking his entire life. As I mentioned, we had just moved to a new apartment. We had had some wine to end the night after a long night of unpacking. And our cat had found the tiniest hole next to the dishwasher and had been lost the entire day which caused us both a lot of stress looking for her. It was the perfect storm.
paperfett: "We always do this" had me absolutely rolling laughing. Like it's just standard for you to piss on your dog on a nightly basis. It's absolutely hysterical that your dog pissed on your pillow.
handinhand12: Haha I know. That phrase has become an inside joke for us. We say it all the time now.
Honestly, it's just so weird to me thinking about me doing something I don't remember. Like if she had taken a video of it, I would have been watching something I did in real life for the first time. It's strange.
| 4 | 65 | |
1667024066 | 1667059571 | t3_ygbv4m | t5_2to41 | 18,612 | penguin_ears: TIFU by flashing my landlady
I live alone in a granny flat which is attached to the house of a family of four. The mother/ wife of the house is probably in her late 50’s, very sweet and thoughtful, and extremely kind and polite. She often pops over with a plate of freshly baked muffins, or a meal for me. She is also obsessed with my dog, and will come through my side gate to take him into her yard to play, when she knows I’m on night shifts, which I am this week.
Today I haven’t been able to sleep much. Her husband is using the ride on mower all day, so my dog is a bit barky, and I was getting frustrated at being unable to sleep. I thought masturbating might relax me off to sleep, so had a lovely time with myself.
Afterwards I got up to pee, and walked naked into my bathroom, which has a door that opens straight onto the gate. A door that I had left open earlier this morning for some fresh air. And there was my lovely sweet neighbour with her hand outstretched ready to open the gate to come and get my dog. We both looked at each other and screamed. She absolutely saw everything I own and then some, the poor woman. She scurried away apologising profusely and now I’m lying here wider awake than ever, thinking that might be the end of our relaxed relationship.
TL;DR buzzed the bean, then my landlady saw me immediately afterwards as I walked through my house naked. She won’t be popping in with cake anymore.
Edit: I’m a 49yo woman. No dangle to mangle.
Aefyns: You're overthinking this.
She saw you naked, not murdering someone.
Hand-Picked-Anus: Bang her and move on, geez. There are tons of videos online about this exact scenario.
LastPoopOnTheLeft: Exactly. She will probably be stuck under the couch or dining room table next week waiting for him.
Siiw: OP called it "buzzing the bean", so I think OP is female.
ReekyRumpFedRatsbane: Either that or extremely self-conscious about penis size.
YaPapaDragon: or theyve seen some abnormally large beans in their lifetime
SmasherOfAjumma: “Long beans” are a thing, though they are thin, and tend to curl.
ChaplainParker: A bend in your penis when erect is a medical condition, please talk to your doctor.
The_Ghost_Dragon: Is it really?
ChaplainParker: It is, Peyronie's disease. There’s a non surgical treatment that has had commercials lately. The comment reminded me of the commercial lol.
Edit: not a medical professional, slight bump or curves ok. Ya want mental health I got you, questions about your junk, two inboxes over on the left.
Backdoorpickle: Googled it... I think people reading your comment are now thinking a natural curve is Peyronie's disease and uh... it's not. lol
wondrous: Right some of us just hang a little to the left
| 13 | 1,431.692308 | |
1666317101 | 1666364726 | t3_y9gicx | t5_2to41 | 100 | GoBuuku: TIFU by shooting myself in the finger
I've had a pellet rifle sitting in my kitchen since this summer because the last time I tried to use it, the pellet wouldn't fire out of the barrel. I assumed the firing mechanism was just clogged up from not using it for years. I had tinkered with it a little bit in the summer but never got it working quite right so I just set it down and figured I'd look at it later. Fast forward to today I decided that I would take a look at it again. I cocked it which involves basically folding it in half and when I looked at the preach it did not appear to be loaded but I admittedly did not check it that closely. I closed it up and then stuck my left index finger over the end of the barrel and pulled the trigger to test to see if it had any pressure like I had done several times over the summer. When I failed to realize is that there was a pellet in the barrel and it decided to work properly this time. The pellet went right into my finger and watched itself under my nail. I went to urgent Care and they wouldn't remove it and said I need to see a hand surgeon.
Tldr: I didn't check the barrel of a pellet gun thoroughly and shot a pellet into my finger.
jlaudiofan: First rule of gun safety, always treat it as if it's loaded until you know otherwise.
HalfFastTanker: There are no accidental discharges, only negligent discharges.
davidgrayPhotography: I feel like that's the setup for a "tell my wife that! \*rimshot\*" joke.
browtfareyoudoing: We know she can’t help her discharge, we all stopped laughing at her because we felt bad.
| 5 | 20 | |
1666384406 | 1666404128 | t3_ya3yjo | t5_2to41 | 69 | hersheymunk: TIFU by telling my husbands best friend that we’re married.
my husband (18M) and i (19F) have been married for a few months now. we are happy even though are family’s aren’t that supportive of our marriage, they say we rushed into it to quick, but we decided not to listen to them and now we are in love and married. but when we first considered marriage we were thinking about not telling anyone we were getting married, we were young and had only been together for a few months back then, so we knew everyone would be against it, and we were right. his sister (17F) and her boyfriend (17M) found out and said that we were crazy and should at least be considering our future and if we really should be doing this, but it was already final, it was too late. we ended up getting married and even though they were hesitant, his sister and her boyfriend were there to support us at our wedding. they were the only one who knew we were married at the time, but soon, after my husband got injured and had to go to the hospital, i accidentally told his parents. they weren’t supportive, of course, and they even tried to convince us to divorce. saying that we are just young and naive and just think we are in love but we’re not, but we brushed it off and moved on. soon, everyone in our circle knew. they didn’t say much about it, but we knew they wanted to.
one night, i went to go see his best friend (18M). i was worried about my husband since he had been acting differently lately and i figured his best friend would have known what was wrong with him. i said- “maybe its the fact that his parents are going crazy over the marriage but-“ and then he said “marriage? what marriage?”. i was confused, obviously, but then i considered that he doesn’t know we got married. i told him that me and my husband had got married a few months back on our vacation, and i could see the disappointment in his face. i tried to tell him that i had no idea that my husband didn’t tell him but even though he didn’t say it, i could tell he wasn’t having it. he walked off saying “it’s fine, really.” but i knew it wasn’t.
i’m scared that i have ruined the long time friendship of my husband and his best friend, since his best friend has always spoken about his hate for liars in conversation, and the fact that we’ve been married for months now is probably going to make it worse.
and even though it sounds selfish, i’m scared that this is going to make a tear in our relationship too. our relationship has already been breaking apart with our families, him lying to me, the jealousy, and even him insinuating that he’s trapped in our marriage. i’m scared, we just got married and we’re already on the verge of divorce.
EDIT: his family knows about our kid. they’ve known before marriage was even thought of. and now his family (other than his parents) are excited for our re-wedding (way too hard to explain.). his grandfather understands that we are in love and the reason we are getting married so early is that “it’s better early than late.”. his friends are also excited, but im not sure about his best friend. that’s all of the updates that i can give for now.
edit2: his mother is supportive of our marriage now, but she reminds us that it is not something that we can walk away from when things get tough.
TL;DR
ohgeebus_notagain: You and your husband FU'ed on so many levels it's not even funny. He's afraid of the marriage, and his family, and telling his friends?
WHY is he afraid to tell his best friend? Why did ya'll hide this from family? WTF is he lying about? Why is he jealous? Or is that you? Jealousy has no place in a marriage, so this implies that you two are not comfortable and trusting of each other.
He's "insinuating that he's trapped in our marriage" because he's afraid to admit to others that he married you. Why is that? He didn't even tell his best friend! If it's a good friendship, this won't ruin that friendship, but it's going to put a knife into yours
YA'LL NEED COUNSELING ***ASAP*** before you prove his parents correct. If you care, fucking fight. Get a counselor as a referee, and fix this the right way
hersheymunk: he’s jealous of my ex. i didn’t want to mention this but i am going to do it anyway. when we first got together i made a mistake and lied to him saying that i was pregnant with his baby, but it wasn’t really his. he forgave me and we got together.
when we got married i was still pregnant and i revealed to him that i was pregnant with my ex’s baby, but he said that it didn’t matter and that he would still love me and my son the same.
although he said that he doesn’t care about my ex, he was lying. my ex sadly goes to the same school as him so it’s inevitable that they are going to run into each other one or two times. he and my ex have gotten into multiple fights, and i think it’s just putting more struggles into our relationship.
thewhothewhatthewhy: I mean
If I was in a relationship with someone, and they told me the child is mine, but proceeded to lie about it, I'm not going to let that down.
You lied to him for what reason? So that he can stay committed to you?
Of course he's not fine, the fact that you made him believe the kid was his but turns out it was the child of your previous lover weighs heavily in his mind. He's telling you he's fine with it to reassure you, but in reality it's gnawing at him.
hersheymunk: i was in a dark place, he was the only person i had slept with at the time other than my ex. i needed someone who would help support my child and my ex was definitely not going to do that. my ex denied that my son was his baby from the beginning and i just needed help and love and support. i apologized and he forgave me. that’s all that matters.
thewhothewhatthewhy: As harsh as this sounds
You deceived your current partner because you wanted love, when that deception may very well be the reason why he feels trapped in this relationship. He knows you rely on him, especially with a kid. So you've basically burdened him with responsibility at 18 while he's still going to university/school with no approval from his parents. There's a strong likelihood that if his friends and family didn't know about the marriage, they also don't know about the kid.
Thing is, if you're willing to lie at that level, your husband is probably thinking what else have you lied about that you haven't told him.
Edit: just realized, one of the reasons _why_ he hasn't told anyone about the marriage is the fact that you have a kid. And if they ever find out that you _lied_ to him about the kid being his, there's even more justification on why you shouldn't be married in their eyes. Basically, he's lying and sacrificing himself to protect you, because you lied and rushed things.
Crashpoint: This.
When I originally read OP's post, I immediately became skeptical because people don't elope and then continue to hide the marriage from their friends. The fact that the OP lied to the husband about the kid just so that he stays with her is going to make that marriage unreconcilable because he will always be worrying what she's lying about and trust is one of the pillars of a strong marriage. It is doable, but at 18 yrs old, it's highly unlikely. Just put yourself in the husband's shoes, he's having this kid, knows it's not his, may not know that he will be responsible because the kid is being born into the marriage which automatically makes him the father which will come with it's own set of consequences if the marriage doesn't work out, e.g. child support payments for a baby that's not his. All of that pressure and burden on him will put him in a really bad place mentally and based on the OP's other posts, it sounds like it already has. As others have mentioned, the best course of action here is to get therapy and counseling. Maybe the marriage can be salvaged, but if not, then yall need to make that decision before it becomes destructive.
Saberise: She said in a comment that she gave the baby up for adoption. The story makes no sense.
Crashpoint: I read that after. It still doesn't solve their marital problems, but agree with you. The post doesnt make any sense at all.
| 9 | 7.666667 | |
1667041205 | 1667046178 | t3_yggomi | t5_2to41 | 4 | jack27999: Tifu by sexting with a stranger
[removed]
PitchforkAssistant: Hey /u/jack27999, thanks for contributing to /r/tifu. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules:
**Rule 3:** It must be your fault. No victim blaming. You didn't fuck up if you were
* robbed
* scammed
* raped
* cheated on
* etc
Those are not your fault. **Those are not your fault.** Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's your fault.
Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/tifu&subject=&message=). Thank you!
jack27999: I mean, it was a scam and to be fair there were red flags I ignored.
But that is quite the nice rule
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1667045190 | 1667333958 | t3_yghy00 | t5_2to41 | 65 | chonk_fox89: TIFU by telling them one of pictures on their dating profile looked like they were forcing a fart.
Obligatory this happened yesterday. I've decided to step out of my comfort zone and join some dating apps, bestie was very excited to help me set up my account. While she was scrolling on her own tinder after showing me some things she found Kevin, affectionately now referred to as fart Kevin (for obvious reasons) to seperate him from my first match, another Kevin. I told her she should message him to let him know, she told me to do it myself, so I told her to send me the profile.
Well, he matched with me! And I sent him a message and now I feel so bad because he just automatically unmatched me. I really should have ended my message with something about just letting him know because I wanted him to have better luck on the site since...it really looked like he was pushing a fart...but maybe some girls are into that?
So poor dude matched with me and then I insulted him and I feel so terrible. Bestie also feels terrible and as she says "I didn't even do it!"
So Fart Kevin from tinder, if you ever see this I'm so sorry! I wanted to be helpful and help you find your match, not insult you and make you feel bad!
tl;dr tried to give some feedback to a guy on a picture from his tinder profile, probably ended up insulting and embarrassing him.
Mode-Klutzy: Fart fetish? Imo yikes. “Hey babe, force one for me” *rips a juicy one* “yee..ahhh” *wang shoots out extends like a plastic light saber from a Halloween prop*
This is all I can imagine. I have a vivid imagination but I don’t think I can nor do I want to nail the visions perfectly.
chonk_fox89: Yeppp it exists! Right up there with burp and sneeze fetishes. I really don't think that's what this was, I think he was just making a funny face, but he was sitting in a weird way that didn't help 😅 I feel so bad though. I honestly didn't think about the rude part until he unmatched I was just like...I'm gunna be nice and help him maybe get more matchesà
mittynuke: “Right up there with burp and sneeze fetishes”
Well that’s about enough internet for today
chonk_fox89: Oh my sweet summer child...
Mode-Klutzy: Eh grow a pair lol. I love to make things weird any chance with anyone that I can.
chonk_fox89: Hey, let them be, everyone has to start somewhere, they're just setting boundaries!! Lolz I was at the stag shop yesterday with bestie and there were lots of interesting things, saw some things I'd heard about before some were new. Some I boggled at the size of (lady bits) others I was able confidently assure the sales gal that nope, that will totally fit up someone's butt (been down some weird rabbit holes.) But by far my favourite was seeing some sounding rods, showing besties (weird inside joke) and newer guy friend who was with us and got to tell him what they were 🤣 he winced and covered the goods on reflex.
Mode-Klutzy: Lol, brings me back to when I went to Spencer’s for the first time 😂. I was never embarrassed, just slightly like cringed or barely grossed when I went to the back wall. You know the back wall… heck, nowadays (back like 3 years ago til now) I can walk in there with my mother and feel no embarrassment or weirded out. We crack jokes for literally like 5 minutes and go find something stupid and funny for a cousin’s birthday/holiday present (don’t worry, my family is like this, I’m just sharing the story when I’m with my mother because it seems like most teens and early 20’s hate being seen in public with their mother/parents). I’m that kind of guy who is comfortable literally almost anywhere. What hurts me/makes me sad is that of everyone I know, there’s only one girl I can literally basically do what you did with your friends. Others seem to opt out. I don’t know why though 🤷♂️
chonk_fox89: Oh my gosh we had a blast. I love my bestie and we can talk about all that stuff! That sounds like a fun relationship with your mom!
| 9 | 7.222222 | |
1667052001 | 1667083814 | t3_ygke5c | t5_2to41 | 25,476 | ih8microwaves: TIFU by masturbating too long in the shower
So I (19m) live in an apartment off college campus with 3 other guys. Everyone else was at class, and I decided to pop in a microwave lunch before hopping in the shower. Now living with 3 other guys and sharing a room with 1, there's uh not a lot of privacy. I wasn't planning on anything, but got in the shower, morning adderall kicked in (for my ADHD I swear) realized I was naked and it had been a bit, and went "eh might as well".
I popped in my water resistant earphones for a more err "immersive" experience and in case the roomies came back unexpectedly. I may have gotten a bit too into it. It was an um intense video. So what was supposed to be a quick shower turned into a 40 minute aggressive ham fisted session of earth shattering self pleasuring. I walked out a bit woozy.
You can imagine my surprise to get out of the shower to find it surprisingly steamy, but an awful smokey smell I hadn't noticed before. I walked out of the bathroom to the kitchen to find my kitchen literally engulfed in these giant ass fucking flames and the smoke alarm going nuts.
It turns out instead of hitting the microwave for 4 minutes I added a 0 and set it for 40. And set my entire apartment on fire. Immediately ran out and called 911, but they were already on their way. A neighbor had called after smelling smoke. The firemen came down. My whole apartment complex had to be evacuated. Lost most of our kitchen and our living room, and everything in doors with severe smoke damage. I wound up in the hospital for a few days due to smoke. My roommates are pissed. Could've died, but ngl now I get why people like being oxygen deprived during sex.
TL;DR masturbated in the shower for too long, wound up setting my apartment on fire
LateDelivery3935: That’s an actual fuck up as opposed to most of the things people post here…
alterom: >That’s an actual fuck up as opposed to most of the things people post here…
OK, hear a [fellow ADHD adult](https://romankogan.net/adhd/) out, **I really don't think it's a fuck-up**. Key points:
* **40 minute shower?** Forget Adderall and masturbation, **everyone is entitled to those**. [Doubly so with ADHD](https://romankogan.net/adhd/#Shower). Water is a stim, helps collect thoughts together and plan for the day — or just bring anxiety down.
* Leaving a **microwave** unattended — for fuck's sake, that's what it has been **designed for**. Nobody watches over their microwaves.
* Hitting **40 minutes** instead of 4 — **that's a UX issue**, because we should've never had anything other than an honest-to-god rotary knob on he microwave to set time. Which is why I still have one like that; one dial sets time, another sets power, and **no fucking buttons or screens**. And I could bet the fuckers that designed OP's microwave **put 0 next to "Start" button to save space**, i.e. to make it look pretty, making it easy to hit 0 by accident when pressing Start.
* Not **noticing** that — it might have something to do with ADHD, a deficit of attention disorder (though it's an [awful name](https://romankogan.net/adhd/#Awfully%20Described%20Human%20Disorder) for it tbh). But more with the **bad UX** of the microwave. Would be really hard to miss if it were a dial/knob, which has tactile/proprioception feedback (you don't need to **look** at it to find out what it's set to — you can do it by **touch**).
* The microwave **catching fire** from overheating popcorn — **what kind of shit microwave this is**, the thing is lined with metal on the inside. **Crappy engineering, not OP's fault**. Whoever designed it fucked up. Like, if you're not making your crappy microwave fireproof, at least don't allow the settings that can set shit on fire. (Why **the fuck** did it let the OP to blast something for 40 minutes on high heat again? With a single wrong button press.)
* Not **hearing the alarm** — forget headphones. **The alarm isn't loud enough**. That's the only fucking point of the alarm. If it's not designed for such rare and uncommon situation as "people wearing headphones", **it's a shitty fucking alarm**. You had one job, alarm, and you didn't do it.
* Kitchen catching fire — **what fire suppression sprinklers doing**? Right, must've been a crappy old complex where the landlord never installed any, while not forgetting to raise rent every year.
* **WHAT FIRE ALARM DOING**. There's a smoke alarm in the kitchen, but not having a fire alarm for the building sounds like a fire code violation.
* Getting into the hospital — **that's why CO poisoning is so dangerous**, you don't fucking notice it. If only there was an alarm to make the OP aware of the ongoing fire. Oh wait...
/u/ih8microwaves, aka OP, your username is justified, and so is everything you did. Show this comment to your roommates, and consider a small claims court **lawsuit** if you're renting to recover damages from insurance or the landlord (in case the sprinklers were installed, but didn't activate).
----
**EDIT:** to the people downvoting me for saying that [fire sprinklers should be a requirement in all homes](https://www.forbes.com/sites/sherikoones/2019/08/03/why-fire-sprinkler-systems-should-be-a-requirement-in-all-homes/) because they are [inexpensive](https://nfsa.org/2020/09/15/the-true-cost-to-install-a-residential-sprinkler-system/) compared to other construction costs and [reduce risk of dying in a fire by 85%](https://www.nfpa.org/Public-Education/Staying-safe/Safety-equipment/Home-fire-sprinklers/Fire-Sprinkler-Initiative) - stop apologizing for obsolete fire safety standards and greedy landlords. And if you are a homeowner, for fuck's (and **your safety's**) sake, **install the goddman sprinklers**.
Nght12: I've never lived in an apartment with fire suppression systems built in.
alterom: >I've never lived in an apartment with fire suppression systems built in.
I have. [They cost about $1K to install](https://www.homeadvisor.com/cost/safety-and-security/install-fire-protection/).
It's like 2 weeks of rent in many places. Either you didn't notice them, or (more likely) landlords are fucking scumbags.
zac115: I've lived in many of many apartments and not a single one has ever had any kind of fire suppression ever. The best they do is they just give you a fire extinguisher and call it a day. And this is in the states mind you.
alterom: Seems like the case for "landlords are fucking scumbags" is getting stronger by the minute
sharkboy1006: Landlord’s son here. Not even our own home has sprinklers, nor does any home in this state that I’ve ever been to. I’m in Florida for reference.
alterom: Any reason for this, given the costs?
Looks like it'd be a solid investment. It's 2022 FFS, *we have the techonology*.
sharkboy1006: I’ll be honest, no clue. Never even thought of something like sprinklers in a house, we just maintain our fire alarms and keep a few fire extinguishers. I legitimately cannot recall a normal house I’ve been to that had sprinklers in it. Edit: I think the thought just didn’t occur to anyone I know, myself included.
alterom: "It's that way because it was that way before" is not a good reason for anything.
Alert your parent to this post, show them [this article](https://nfsa.org/2020/09/15/the-true-cost-to-install-a-residential-sprinkler-system/), and **install the goddamn fire sprinklers for your own and your residents' sake**.
You spend under 1% of the cost of the unit, **once**, to prevent like 70% of the damage and a potential totall loss. That's the best insurance/investment you can possibly have.
slightlyridiculousme: I don't know where you're from, but you're acting like this is standard practice. I don't think new construction even have sprinklers in my area, unless it's a high rise, and it's a major US city. Is it safer, of course, but that doesn't mean it's standard practice and people are scumbags for not doing it. Also, $1000 is a lot of fucking money to most people.
alterom: >I don't know where you're from, but you're acting like this is standard practice.
I'm saying that if they were installed, they didn't work. And that they **should** be standard practice.
> unless it's a high rise, and it's a major US city.
I've seen ones in a duplex in Waterloo, IA. YMMV.
> people are scumbags for not doing it. Also, $1000 is a lot of fucking money to most people.
The OP sounded like they are renting (living with roommates - you bet they're not a homewowner).
$1000 is **two weeks' rent** to their landlord, and about **0.5% of the cost of the property**. Not investing that much into fire safety makes **the landlord** a scumbag in my eyes (even if the fire code doesn't require it).
slightlyridiculousme: How do you know how much rent is? Also wouldn't the cost depend on how big the unit is, how many units in the building, if the infrastructure is setup to accommodate the install, being able to do so it's aesthetically pleasing because let's face it the apartment doesn't look nice they didn't going to rent it out no matter how much safer it is?
I'm guessing that duplex in IA was built in the last 50-60 years. The brick vintage buildings, some of which are built in the 1800s, I've lived in in Chicago no way have this stuff.
You are screaming judgment everywhere and there's no need for it. With the pandemic a lot is landlords lost a ton of money. They need reserves just as much as we do. Just because they aren't thinking about something that isn't common practice doesn't mean they are scumbags.
alterom: >How do you know how much rent is?
[Median rent is over $2K in the US](https://www.npr.org/2022/06/09/1103919413/rents-across-u-s-rise-above-2-000-a-month-for-the-first-time-ever), most of posts here are from the US.
>You are screaming judgment everywhere and there's no need for it
Yeah, I am screaming judgedgement at all landlords who **haven't installed fire supression systems yet** and there **is a need for it as long as fire sprinklers aren't everywhere**.
>With the pandemic a lot is landlords lost a ton of money. They need reserves just as much as we do. Just because they aren't thinking about something that isn't common practice doesn't mean they are scumbags.
I'm a homeowner, I'm on the HOA board, and I know exactly what the situation with the pandemic and the reserves is. Doesn't excuse anything. Saving a dime on safety makes one a scumbag.
| 15 | 1,698.4 | |
1667080131 | 1667083493 | t3_ygvv56 | t5_2to41 | 78 | CoffeeOk5402: TIFU by saying someone was hot to my boyfriend
I want to start off by, yes, this was entirely my fault. I also want to note that I have autism, so I have extreme difficultly with communication and social appropriate things to say, I wish I could go back and fix it.
I'm texting my boyfriend about a movie I watched last night while he was having a party out with his friends. We were watching Oujia with our neighbors in our resident hall.
Fast forward to now, the very next day I noticed he posted his story of the same movie and the same priest. The thing about me and my boyfriend is that we always talk about how cool priests are, we're both considering christianity, but that aside he really wants to become a priest. In my head, I thought this:
"What a perfect way to converse, I'll just bring up the movie, talk about the priest, we can laugh, I can flirt with my boyfriend, show him my love and how we're literal soul mates for watching the same movie without telling each other."
It was indeed not the perfect plan, I started off by talking about the priest, I said he was bad (as in badass), he got confused, asking "bad?" And I replied with "Hot, but I'd choose you any time over him."
It didn't compute to me that what I said was wrong until he felt hurt. I was confused at first, as any autistic person does when they accidentally say something wrong. I was speechless. I quickly reply with "ok sry", (I use the short text terms when I'm confused or embarrassed), he took it as "I do not care" which only escalated his unhappiness. I felt awful, I even start to cry a little because I really didn't mean for this. I apologize a lot, I understood that I was completely out of line.
I made him feel inferior. He's the best thing that happened to me and it was a genuine mistake. My boyfriend struggles with severe body images, and anxiety, whenever we have a complication, he always violently shakes, but of course we always talk it out. Despite my awful lack of emotional intelligence, I'm good at trying to mediate his emotions. I really only wanted to have a fun light hearted chat, since he occasionally, but very rarely will talk about his fictional crushes, while I hardly have any since I only have eyes for him. I just feel awful. I made him sad, and now I'm sad, he's sad, what if he does something to himself? I wish I was smarter.
TL;DR
I call someone hot to try and have a conversation, he gets very unhappy. I make it worse with miscommunicated confusion, leading to him getting angry. I try to reassure him I only tried to make a joke and I don't actually find him hot, but I worry he will hurt himself.
Nero3k: FYI…being autistic has nothing to do with your BF’s reaction. His lack of self esteem and maturity isn’t your fault. Making an observation that a celebrity is “hot” should not trigger an emotionally mature person. You did not FU today. I get the being autistic can make you miss emotional and social cues, but this isn’t one of them. My wife finds certain celebs hot. I find certain ones hot. We talk about it and laugh. Don’t get manipulated into feeling guilty.
CoffeeOk5402: What should I do? How should I go about this situation if I'm not in the wrong, i feel like I am, I don't know what to do and I dont want him to be sad. I don't want to fight.
Nero3k: From your post I can tell he’s important to you. I’m just a stranger on Reddit so take this as you should any advice on the internet. I would try to find out why this would trigger him so bad. It’s good to be sensitive to someone’s triggers, but he also has to try to work on his own. You had no malicious intent with your comment. He needs to recognize that. The problem is his to fix. You can help him. That is one of the things that help build a good relationship. Ultimately though, he has to be the one to get over it and try to work on himself. If he can’t, then you run the possibility of spending the rest of your time together walking on eggshells trying to not upset. That will have a negative impact on your self esteem. Don’t do that to yourself.
| 4 | 19.5 | |
1666152675 | 1667081557 | t3_y7sfkn | t5_2to41 | 182 | crazygrl6: TIFU by having loud phone sex while my step mom was unknowingly home, and i'm mortified
So , to set the story my boyfriend (18M) and I (18F) have not seen each other in nearly a week. Which doesn't seem like a long time, but we are used to seeing each other nearly everyday and having sex almost every time we hang out. So, naturally when we facetimed tonight things were a little extra flirty and ended up leading to phone sex, which we both have never had before. I though it would be fun, which it was, and it was good timing because I have been home alone for a couple of days and wasn't expecting anyone to come home soon. But once we finished up I heard something in the hallway outside of my bedroom door, so I look out the window and see my step moms car in the driveway. My stomach immediately dropped and I reflect on how there is absolutely no way she didn't hear what was going on. She probably even heard me from outside because I have my window cracked open. I was not holding back any natural noises I might make because duh its phone sex, on top of that I was using my loud ass vibrator. Who knows how long she was home for but it was certainly long enough. I am absolutely mortified and she is probably traumatized, I don't even know her that well. We will see what happens when i inevitably have to face her again.
TL;DR had loud phone sex with my boyfriend because i thought i was home alone but i was definitely not and i'm mortified and never want to see my step mom again.
FretlessMayhem: Now Stepmom is gonna assert dominance and have exceptionally loud sex with your father.
Flee while you still can!
Leviathan41911: Screeming contest!!!!!
yeahcanigeta_uhhhhhh: Creaming contest!
| 4 | 45.5 | |
1667092862 | 1667141311 | t3_yh10sn | t5_2to41 | 27,724 | takenoutbyabidet: TIFU by using an ice cold bidet to wash my butt and collapsing on the toilet.
Please excuse my english as it's my 2nd language.
This is my 1st time living in a cold country that experiences snow. It wasn't snowing but the temperature was extremely low. I had installed a simple bidet when I first moved into my apartment because I grew up using one and and felt weird if I didn't. It was nothing fancy and I connected it to the cold water not thinking much of it. I'd never used a heated bidet before so I didn't think I'd need one.
Now here is how it went down. Its a normal day and I turn on my bidet and begin washing my butt. The second the ice cold water hit my bumhole every muscle and vain in my body contracted at the same time. I couldnt think I just sat there as the very very cold water violated me. Think of a brain freeze you get when eating ice cream but down under.. your asshole is what's frozen. I started to feel dizzy and not being able to think I got up and immediately fell on the floor and hit my head on the sink. I lied on the floor for what felt like an eternity but was only few minutes while my buttfreeze went away. Thankfully i wasn't badly hurt it but it could've been much worse.
Later when I explained to my friend why I have a bump on my head, they couldn't stop laughing so I thought I'd share for your amusement too.
TLDR: Accidentally gave myself a buttfreeze using a very cold bidet and hit my head
Lakonthegreat: You triggered your vagal response. You have a big ass nerve that runs from your anus to your brain called your Vagus nerve, one of the ways for immediate stimulation is applying ice cold water to the rectum. Causes your blood pressure to drop and your heart to slow down, it's one of the ways we can get someone out of supraventricular tachycardia.
Saroan7: Super what now? 😂
Lakonthegreat: *sigh*
Heart beat real fast
feast_of_thousands: Can you dumb it down a notch
Lakonthegreat: Chest apple thump lots times, more times than supposed to
Can't do it long or chest apple goes pop
Bovaiveu: Apply cold wetness to other side of eating hole, makes chest apple chill.
VeggiePaninis: Wait, Doctors really are sticking ice cubes up your ass while you're having a heart attack??
You're really there hanging on, fighting for dear life, and some dude is playing Ice Hole?
Bovaiveu: I think if I recall correctly, that the preferred method is using calcium channel blockers IV. Though I think a tilt table might serve a similar use to cause a vasovagal "reset". I'd say ice application to the rectum would be a rudimentary hail mary in a situation where its better than nothing.
iqbalpratama: Stimulating the vagal response could also be done by massaging the carotid sinus in the neck, never heard about ice up the butt
Bovaiveu: I would prefer a gentle massage rather than frigid derriere extraordinare!
tomuglycruise: Masseuse or mis-ass-use?
| 12 | 2,310.333333 | |
1667107984 | 1667123981 | t3_yh5l0y | t5_2to41 | 79 | Peachm1lk0: TIFU by realizing he did care to late
As you read by the title I realized the person I loved most cared about me after they already left. (Btw sorry if this is really messy and not comprehensive I just wanted to rant and not proofread) Our friendship/ relationship was like no other that I ever had experienced. I mean we're both young so it was all so new to us both. Our friendship/situationship type thing began in November though we had been friends since 2020. In the beginning of the friendship he made lots of mistakes that made me break my trust like lying a lot and ignoring me which caused lots of arguments between us. It's also important to understand that our friendship was only a friendship due to me being ftm (at the time) and him not being gay. But we both cared deeply for each other still. So due to this we ended up having a pretty big argument in January where I told him how I loved him and how it felt like he was leading me on knowing I had feelings for him yet telling me he liked a girl but still flirting with me and so I wanted to set boundaries. And so after that he stopped mentioning girls yet still continued to be touchy with me and flirty though I had stopped flirting back. Now knowing this I can now get into the reason I'm posting here in the first place.
It was March when we had an argument that would forever change our relationship. As you read just now, I was upset how he was acting even though it was clear I had made boundaries. Which is fair but what isn't was how I told him how I don't think he cares. Which is complete bullshit now looking back. Even though he came to me a lot with his problems it'd be stupid to say that I never did. I would at least twice a month cry to him about my problems and he would always drop everything to listen. He constantly checked up on me and would agree to do silly things with me just to make me happy. But at the time I didn't see this. I only focused on his mistakes. Another thing you have to know about him is that he is very non-confrontational. He keeps a lot to himself when it comes to being upset at someone and will just bottle it in or avoid it. Due to this, during the entire rant he just stayed silent or would reply not standing up to himself. Which made me at the time think I was in the right. After this argument or rather rant, it changed lots of things. He started being more closed off than before yet looking back you could still see he still loved and cared for me. But again, I was going through so much at the time I would only focus on the negative.
The next time that we would ever have an "argument" was April 19th. Which would be the day he left. And the day I will forever look back on and feel like absolute shit. The night before and just the whole week in general he had been acting extremely distant and barely replying/talking to me. And when he did it would be very dry. This caused me to worry tons since I have extremely bad attachment issues. So, that day I decided to confront him about it and making sure I got the truth instead of "Everything is fine." And that is indeed what I got. He told me about how he started to get annoyed by me and how I did "things I would never do." I'd like to say I was rational during that. But I wasn't. I was begging him to stay, saying things I cringe looking back at now. Trying everything, yet not realizing the mistake I made. It eventually lead to him officially saying bye and how even though he promised to stay that "I still left the other times I said it." I was absolutely distraught for the rest of the month.
Eventually I got out of the stage of just pure sadness. I got angry and misplaced my blame. Thinking about how he lied. And I would continue to be angry at him. And through the summer I forgot about it. Yet when school started up again and seeing him, it made me crumble. So, when I got home I started to reread the messages but in a different light. Reading the sweeter ones. And reading the ones that made me feel like the most important person on the planet. And that was when I realized, he did care for me. That yes, he messed up, but it's not like I didn't either. And unlike me he actually apologized. Realizing how I took him for granted. And ever since early October I've been an absolute utter mess. With my mental illnesses its quite hard to keep people arounda and due to that I'm no stranger of people leaving. And with all the people that have came and left my life, he:s my only true deep regret. I want so badly to apologize, but I know it's not my place anymore. He most likely just doesn't want me around. I feel like utter shit. I've tried moving on, I have been trying. But everything reminds me of him. He's just so important to my life. I feel like I can't give up on him. But I have to. I just feel so much guilt and pain. And people tell me to realize that and to just not make that same mistake ever again to someone else. But at this point of time it's either him or nobody. I know I'm young. So I understand that most likely I will one day get over him. Its just hard to imagine it. I miss him, and I fucked up bad. And now I don't know what to do. And my mutual friends with him say he never mentions me either, our only acknowledgement of each other is just a shared look in the hallways every day. I just had to get all this off my chest and maybe a little advice. I'm not sure.
TL;DR 6 months later after my ex friend left I finally understood why he left and that I took him for granted
THE_ORIGAL: Well, as an advice, if you fuck up something, apologize. No one likes people who don't apologize.
I don't see any other option then going there and talking to him, or maybe text him. And I think that in both cases, you should tell him that you really miss him, and you've fucked up, apologize and, depending on the type of person, ask him to go out somewhere and talk about this. For sure, you need balls to do this, but you don't really have any other option.
I have a question, you're in your school years and you already are an ftm? And how does it work, who are you attracted to? Sorry for these questions, I'm just curious.
Peachm1lk0: Thank you for the advice! And I have considered apologizing I just feel it's 6 months too late so I struggle even considering it but I might if I ever catch him in the halls again. As far as my identity questions I'm fine with answering. I used to identify as ftm though now I identify as non binary. But my sexuality I consider to be bisexual. I kinda just always knew I wasn't a girl (Though some trans people don't 100% figure out growing up) so I immediately thought I was just a guy but after transitioning for 2 years it still felt wrong so I de transitioned completely though being a "girl," still didn't sit well with me. So now I identify as enby and as far as attraction it's stayed the same. I've always liked guys and girls and it never changed through my transition. Though that is just my personal experience and I know some people figure out their sexualities as they're transitioning. At the end of the day though I just feel like me. I don't like to label my gender, I just see myself as a person y'know. So, I don't mind people seeing me as a boy or girl. But personally I don't feel like either. Hope that cleared up some things!! Or not haha
THE_ORIGAL: It's never too late to apologize. But even if he accepts it, he will need some space at first, try not to be obsessed with him.
| 4 | 19.75 | |
1667098021 | 1667149272 | t3_yh2n74 | t5_2to41 | 182 | BeingPoor223: TIFU By getting accepted to college and trusting my parents
I know how this sounds but let me start from the beginning.
I got accepted to a prestigious college in my state. The only reason I was actually able to get accepted to go to college was because of the TRIO program. I am a first generation student who will graduate high school. Before you ask, I am not a first generation family member in America. Im a fourth generation family member in America. None of my grandparents, parents, or great-grandparents have graduated high-school let alone college.
My parents were never really into school and never encouraged me to get good goods. I know how ungrateful that sounds, some kids complain about parents getting on them about their grades. But I needed that support and motivation and never got it.
I had to stay home all the time to help take care of my mentally disabled brother and sick grandma. My mom has frequent bipolar episodes in which she will blame every bad thing on me. her and my father have never attended college or graduated high school. (They would later get their GEDS) But they are not in school nor do they have jobs. Not only this but our family of five have been living on social security and food stamps for four years. (So I got bad grades)
This junior year I was almost kicked out of my TRIO program. This awoke something in me and I was able to convince them I needed to stay. I would later get the much needed support, stability, and motivation at the summer camp. During that summer I was able to make up 12 core credit class and raise my gpa from a 2.39 to a 2.94 unweighted. (I would also be taken on college visits that summer around my state and I fell in love with a few of them, But I was able to raise my gpa in one summer to an average gpa)
I began writing my essay and started my resume. My dream college was out of my league. The minimum gpa requirement was 3.67. Mine was a 3.1 on a WEIGHTED scale. (Theres a difference between weighted and unweighted, weighted is the difficulty of classes being taken) So I decided to apply early decision.
I should've received the decision by December 15th, but I was notified that my essay made up for it and I was accepted early. The thing is with early decision is I am now obligated to go to this college, binded by an agreement I signed. THIS IS WHERE I FUCKED UP.
I immediately inform my parents excitedly. I mean the tuition was huge, 67k a year. (This is the college I spent the summer at and where I felt for the first time in my life at home) They informed me they won't help me with my FASFA. (Free application for student loans) For those who don't know if you're a first year college student you HAVE to have your parents tax information. So the government can know your parents contribution. You see I didn't need them to pay for anything. I just needed to show the government how poor we are so I can get the full benefits.
I don't know what I am gonna do. I have started trying to apply to scholarships so Im not 300k in debt by the time I graduate college. But almost every single one doesn't apply to me OR requires a unweighted 3.0 minimum.
I really fucked up by doing early decision. I really fucked up by trusting my parents to help with my FASFA when they have never helped me at all in my schooling or never encouraged me. Am I gonna spend my entire life in debt?
(If youd like me to post my college essay I will)
TLDR: Got accepted to a prestigious expensive college, I cant pay for it, parents won't help with FASFA, im fucked
SavvyMac93: First of all, talk to your financial aid office. There is a way to file independent, but there are criteria for that. I think there is a way to link your parents tax info electronically.
Secondly, pursue all grant and scholarship options. You’ll need it. 67,000 a year is more than the graduate degree I am currently pursuing.
Lastly,depending on the the job you have in mind when you graduate I would easily say 300k is too much for an undergraduate degree. I have friends who went to very expensive schools and lived with crippling debt after the fact. I’m assuming there are kids out there with ties to people that can get them a job that would be worth that. I wasn’t one of those. In my opinion there is almost no point in going to an overly expensive school for certain career pursuits (nursing for example).
I see these schools as traps for young people, who don’t. Feel free to ask more questions if you like. The end game is to have a solid degree and minimal debt.
444unsure: What type of undergrad School charges 67k tuition? That is a mind-blowing number to me
SavvyMac93: It is mind blowing. It’s all about prestige. No thanks. unless you has strong ties with potential employers paying tons of money, or are going to the school tuition free it is not worth it.
444unsure: Okay so I just googled and according to the internet, Columbia has the highest tuition in the United States at 65,000 per year and change. Harvey Mudd college has the highest overall cost of $77,000? I'm assuming that adds in room and board or something? Books?
Either way, I don't think op is talking about the cost of tuition alone...
SavvyMac93: Glad you dug up some numbers. It probably includes the dorm and fees associated with living on campus. Either way… my graduate (masters) degree costs about 45,000 a year and I live off of loans at approximately 12,000 a year. Still less than the undergraduate degree. Better question what is the expected income of students graduating from there? Are there enough financial aid options to make it worth it?
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