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1669411233 | 1669501781 | t3_z4ojwz | t5_2to41 | 233 | SuperNurseGuy: TIFU by hanging Christmas lights
This actually happened today. About thirty minutes ago.
My(32m) wife(33f) loves christmas.
We have a rather large 2 story house.
It would look stupid to only have lights on the first story.
I finished the first story and used my 6 foot folding ladder to (very dangerously) climb to the second story.
Finished the lights.
Whilst climbing down I knocked my ladder over.
The only ladder I have.
My wife called the fire department to rescue me from the roof.
There are a few videos from various angles as the neighbors thought it was quite entertaining.
My wife has a new photo for the Christmas card.
My mother in law thought it was spectacular.
My mother laughed harder than i think she ever has.
I may literally die of shame.
Im reposting because i didnt realize that there needed to be 750 characters. Automoderator be damned (in the most respectfull way).
TL;DR 32 y/o man has to be rescued by fire fighters because he was overcome with the Christmas Spirit.
J8DEN_TUBE_YT: When you started mentioning the good condition of the house I thought that you accidentally started a fire… I prefer this wholesome disaster way more than “wah wah house go **BUUUUUUUUURRRRNN**”
SuperNurseGuy: Im rarher certain my christmas loving wife would have ended me if i had byrned the house down
J8DEN_TUBE_YT: If the fire doesn’t get to you first
SuperNurseGuy: Id jump into the pool at that point
J8DEN_TUBE_YT: Then you’d have to not bellyflop so as to prevent paralysis
SuperNurseGuy: 25ft into the pool a little tuck id be aight, maybe, hopefully.
| 7 | 33.285714 | |
1667556774 | 1667559457 | t3_ylushe | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by expecting my family to pay for my food update
[removed]
Commercial_Low1383: Hey everyone! I’m sorry it’s not showing up on tifu.
Kevlar-bullet-proof: So what's the update
Commercial_Low1383: Basically my mother told me it was a lesson
Toxica-Sprinkles999: Well your moms an asshole and the fact she paid for a 23 year old means you should probably look into moving out.
| 5 | 6.2 | |
1669414408 | 1669415678 | t3_z4pur0 | t5_2to41 | 70 | throwthisaway163847: tifu by lying about my SA
throwaway for obvious reasons, so this has really been going on for the past few days but i fucked up regardless. i (23 F) was SA’d when i was 20 by my best friends brother (25 M, he was 22 at the time) while i was dog sitting for her family once. he kept telling me he would find a way to get me expelled from my university if i didn’t comply. i had and still have no idea how he would do this, but i was scared and worried if he would do something else (tell my family, friends, spread the usual s*xually promiscuous rumors) and no matter how many times i said no it still happened. i had told no one about this, my therapist knows vaguely i was sexually assaulted but not the details. for more background, my friends family is in the lower income bracket, their father is disabled and got laid off from his job in 2020 and now their mother works two retail jobs and my friend does night shifts at a 24/7 fast food restaurant, i used to dog sit for them for free and still occasionally drop off meals for them when i can, but I typically don’t stay for more than a few minutes.
Flash forward a few years and a few days ago, but my very, almost hyper policitcal family begins a discussion on abortion and my grandfather mentions that victims of SA should be thankful they even get to carry a child at all. This began a back and forth conversation that got a little more heated than it probably should have, resulting in a ‘well how would you know how they feel?’ from my mother, followed by a ‘because it happened to me.’ reveal from myself. as you can expect it was immediate regret followed by a thousand questions, all leading to an even more heated reveal of who the individual was, as they were all pressing me to reveal who it was since ‘they had no proof’. this caused even more of a stir since we are family friends with his family. after more yelling things finally settled down that evening and I tried to sleep as much as I could.
Two days later, (yesterday as of me posting this), after not many more questions were asked, both my parents as well as my brother were sat in the living room when I came down from my bedroom, dropping the bomb of them planning to sue his family for quote “everything they had”, my parents have always been fairly well off and the idea of them engaging in a legal battle with them was entirely possible, I played it off initially like i was fine with it, even though the thought of my best friends family, despite my encounter with her brother, out in the street or possibly worse due to their financial situation, often unable to barely afford groceries sometimes for the week for their family killed me. I don’t know what compelled me but after passing discussions between my parents about lawyers and whatnot, I just blurted out that I lied about everything, and begged them not to sue.
My mother smirked the entire time, yelling ‘I told you so’ to everyone that could hear. She called every other available member of my family downstairs (visiting for the thanksgiving holiday, myself included) and told me to repeat what I had said. I genuinely don’t think I have sobbed as hard as I did while I was ‘confessing’.
So end of story, my entire family thinks I am a liar, I guess rightfully so, and I have ruined a lot of relationships over this. My brother and father who I was initially very very close with before this have almost stopped speaking to me entirely, and I can’t escape my mother tormenting me about the entire situation. I can’t switch my story up now because who would even believe me at this point. I have no clue what to do at all so any advice would be appreciated.
tl:dr - I was SA’d by my best friends brother a few years ago and when I finally confessed this to my family they said they were going to sue my best friends family but I felt guilty about it because they’re very low income and this could genuinely destroy them financially so I said that I lied about the SA out of fear for my best friend and now my family hates me.
BlackedFeather: Not sure why you said you lied, cause I'm pretty sure only you can press charges. You're not a child, so they can't sue on your behalf. Situation is probably fucked now, but I guess you could individually call up every single person and explain. It's better to do it sooner rather than later.
Uhh, best of luck.
throwthisaway163847: yeah I got to say I’m not entirely sure why I blurted that out either, I’ve always had issues with being intimidated by my mother, so in hindsight it was probably just me feeling backed into a corner and I knew the ‘but they’re poor’ explanation wouldn’t work with them, I’m leaving to head back to my own apartment in a few days so hopefully some break through revelation will happen before then. Thank you though. I appreciate the luck.
BlackedFeather: Yeah, nobody deserves to feel like that in your situation. I really do suggest you tell everyone the truth ASAP, and probably your mother last. They need to know exactly why you lied about something so devastating. It's much better to try and fix the lie while it's still fresh, especially since they risk telling even more people over time. This is the type of thing that gets significantly worse as you go on. It's obviously easier said than done, but pulling up the immense courage one more time could really save you.
| 4 | 17.5 | |
1669414780 | 1669475390 | t3_z4q0de | t5_2to41 | 257 | noahboi1917: TIFU by making a comment about a star.
Went on a hike earlier today and there were some Christians in our group. For context I'm an atheist. As we walked, we came across the star of David drawn in the sand and someone warned us not to step in it. I said "Don't worry it's not a pentagram, just the star of David". They looked at me weird but I shrugged it off.
In hindsight, I should have kept my mouth shut after this, but my dumb self went on to say how I read somewhere that David is the oldest person in the bible that we can actually prove existed. Must have something to do with him being a king, so I guess other ancient kingdoms have records of him? They got even more pissed.
My boyfriend, who's also an atheist, said they might be upset because they think I implied that no other biblical person before David was real. He also said they didn't feel better after being corrected about the type of star it was, because to some Christians every other religious symbol might as well represent Satan.
I know I might sound like I'm socially inept and that's because I am. Going on this hike was supposed to be an opportunity for me to deal with my social anxiety and I screwed it. Oh well. I still have my bf and some online friends. More love and cringe for those that somehow put up with me :)
TL;DR. Made a comment about the star of David in from of some Christians and they got mad at me.
Valriss: I know I wasn't there, but just from quote...it sounds more like they were offended because they they were saying not to step on it out of respect and in their eyes you just pretty much went "Nah, it's fine to step on."
I mean I fully could be wrong, I don't know the entire conversation just your response, but that's just sorta how it reads.
noahboi1917: It's possible, but judging by their faces and body language I don't think that was the case. My bf thinks the same thing as me. Because I also mentioned to one of them that after I left the church I've started exploring other religions to learn about them. She didn't seem impressed and told me to "remember my roots", coz she knows I grew up Christian. Which is funny, because I'm Indian, so if we're talking about my roots, wouldn't the religion in question be Hinduism? (This is mostly a joke, I know what she meant)
Worshipper-N_73: It's most likely a thing of respect, Judaism and catholicism are heavily Christian centered they just probably felt like you were being disrespectful, to think a star of David is on par with a pentagram or pentacle is a little out of touch. I feel you because I had once lost my own faith and studied other religions but trying to be a know it all around generally close minded individuals will never go over well, understandably so.
noahboi1917: I get you, but I swear I wasn't trying to come off as a condescending know-it-all. I thought I was just sharing a fun fact.
Worshipper-N_73: Nah I believe it, but that's how people will see it, especially if they don't know much about their own religion which is usually the case sadly
noahboi1917: Thank you! My own mother has been a Christian for like 40 years, but I know so much more about the bible than her. It's weird.
| 7 | 36.714286 | |
1669164875 | 1669166654 | t3_z2ar3w | t5_2to41 | -11 | taylorswiftsguitar9: TIFU by making my bf insecure
Sooo after sifting the dumpster fire that is Tinder I finally managed to find a great guy. He’s tall, handsome, has a good job, and we clicked right off the bat - the chemistry was amazing (both in and outside of the bedroom).
Well eventually we start trying different things in the bedroom and the subject of anal comes up. I admit to him that I never tried it before but I’m willing to give it a go if he promises to be gentle and ease his way in (he’s a little under 6.5” in length and roughly 5” around).
When asks why I never tried it before, I absently blurted out “the only other guy I’ve been with who wanted to try would have destroyed me”.
That led to an extremely awkward silence and as soon as I finished that sentence I could visibly see his confidence deflate. He then became very insecure and started asking me a bunch of questions about my sexual “past” that made me uncomfortable. In all honesty I would prefer a thick 7” inch cock, but he’s more than enough to satisfy me.
Not wanting to say this in order to avoid further bruising his ego, I just left without having sex and haven’t spoken to him since.
Tl;dr: Today I fucked up by accidentally telling my bf that I’ve had bigger dick in the past and it destroyed his confidence.
DeaconKnight: 6.5" long and 5" around? I don't think you're bruising his ego.
taylorswiftsguitar9: Well he’s not stupid, he knows that I prefer bigger cocks and the fact I didn’t answer probably makes it worse. He’s under 6.5” in length, probably just over 6.25” come to think of it.
Most of girl friends and I won’t say this to other guys but 7”+ is what we consider ideal.
chijrt: It just means you and your girlfriends just all so happen to have 7"+ deep vaginas. 🤣. Find a friend with a shallow one. 🤣🤣🤣
taylorswiftsguitar9: While it’s true that size isn’t the MOST important quality in a man. You’re kidding yourself if you think it has 0 value. Sure some women might find it too big, but most prefer too big than too small.
chijrt: Guess what? If you cant handle the entire length of a guy, but you prefer too big over too small, and the guy is too big, you know what's gonna happen? One unhappy male partner and then you'll be insecure. Maybe you should make it less known about this whole 7"+ idea. I suspect your boyfriend is insecure as a result of a collective set of statements you've made over time. Not just this one. I mean, you already said he knows you love bigger cocks. How would he know this? You almost state this as fact. If that's the case, you don't deserve this guy. He really should be with a partner that doesn't make it known that she wishes he had a bigger cock.
| 6 | -1.833333 | |
1669419111 | 1669500547 | t3_z4rqcg | t5_2to41 | 28 | ViewOk4348: TIFU by confessing to my mom that I don’t want to live anymore
TIFU by confessing to my mom that I don’t want to be alive.
For context, my relationship with my parents are pretty ok. Not super close but they are amazing people regardless of their parenting blunders. So I was talking with my mom about how I unprepared I am for my up coming exams and after the conversation ended we were silent for a while and all of a sudden I say “I don’t know if I should tell you this, but sometimes I don’t want to live. Don’t worry I am not suicidal it is just fleeting moments of hopelessness”
She was silent for long and said maybe you need a psychiatrist. I told her that these moments go as quick as they come because I really don’t want to go to a therapist. Then a moment later I asked if this will make her worry all the time she then told me to just stop talking about it because she is a bit overwhelmed (which I understand) especially because dad and her always strive to give us the lest of life.
I really really regret telling her, I hate myself that I gave her something to worry about and for no reason completely unprovoked, she won’t know what to do, she will just live with the burden of knowing and she will also notice some of the behaviors I tried to hide and might misunderstand some of my actions.
She is already worried because of an endless list of stuff going on so I feel like I just gave her a piece of information that she could have lived without. And I don’t know why I said it, I didn’t need comfort I just suddenly felt the urge to do it.
I don’t know what to do with myself now.
TL;DR I told my mom I don’t feel like living sometimes and it overwhelmed, so I regret it real bad now since she already has too much on her plate
Edit: spelling error
Revocation_Of_Doubt: You reached out with something you find disturbing and your responsible adult said "perhaps you need therapy"
Take their advice, worst case scenario you spend an hour talking to a professional who explains that we all get these thoughts from time to time and that the proper response is to acknowledge them, evaluate why you are feeling that way and see if there is anything you need to do to change that cause, and if not, then just accept them as something your brain does from time to time.
It's ok to be mentally ill, we all get that way at times.
You wouldn't think it's a fuck up if you said "mom sometimes it hurts when I pee" and she said "maybe you should see a doctor" would you?
Of course not. But there's this stigma around mental health.
ViewOk4348: Yeah you have a point, mental health should be regarded the same way as physical one tbh
Also in the part where you talk about the worst case scenario, is this way of thinking wrong?
Revocation_Of_Doubt: No, I don't see a negative outcome.
The worst case is that you only get or need a single appointment and then all you have done is the equivalent of turning up to the doctor's office for a cold, only to be told "yeah, just fluids and rest mate, you're good"
What I laid out is the basic pattern to deal with intrusive thoughts, acknowledge, consider, discard.
ViewOk4348: I will try to arrange a visit. Till then I will probably try that basic pattern. Thank you so much
Revocation_Of_Doubt: I had unspeakably bad trauma occur to me and I spent days unable to sleep and jumping at every sound thinking that this was it and my life was going to end.
The only way to deal with intrusive thoughts is to follow that pattern. Otherwise they go round and round and round.
Acknowledge, I'm having a thought that is negative.
Evaluate, is this thought helpful right now.
Discard, it is not helpful, it is not necessary, it is just neurons firing, I have already considered this and made a decision (I literally said to myself, "I already thought about this and discarded it, I will not reconsider unless there is new information")
I wish you well.
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1667579757 | 1667592432 | t3_ym3ndw | t5_2to41 | 25,193 | Commercial_Low1383: TIFU by expecting my family to pay for my birthday dinner UPDATE
Link to first post: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ykkemb/tifu_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Hey everyone. you guys can call me Tony like everyone else :)Thanks for all the support and just wanted to say thanks so much to everyone. Also I’m sorry that I misspelled cues’
I was able to sit down with my mom this morning. At first I was rather angry with them but she would try to explain her side or events.
She told me that in order for me to be more independent I had to learn that people didn’t always get what they wanted. Even if it’s on our birthday, or Christmas, or any holiday. I asked her why they didn’t just have a sit down and talk with me. She said it wouldn’t be as effective.
She went into a whole lecture about how I’ve been leaching off of them for the past few months and that I need to learn how to be a proper adult.
When I asked her if we were going to go back to Applebee’s so we could do a birthday dinner makeover. Since I learned my lesson. She got angry.
For everyone wondering if I got any gifts for my birthday. From my family no, the dinner is usually the treat.
Am I missing the point of this “lesson” I understand that we don’t always get what we want. I feel like my mom is manipulating me.
I tried asking my brother about it and all he said was talk to mom. Sorry this isn’t a climactic update, I’m sorry that it’s not a happy ending. But this is all the information I have. Thanks for reading redditors. ❤️
Guys, I love my family so much. I do, but I feel like they’re lying to me about stuff. I think they want me to leave the house. If that’s the case I’m gonna talk to my case worker at school whos in charge of my IEP.
Again, I did not mean this as a validation post or anything. I was just genuinely confused and wondered if I had missed anything.
Edit 1: hey everyone! Thanks for the kind advice, currently I am job hunting and scoping out friends to let me stay with them.
Edit 2: comments have been locked. Sorry guys. Feel free to message me ❤️
This will likely be my last update on it ❤️
TLDR; my mother told me it was a life lesson
Bigdaddylovesfatties: Since you have the tendency to miss cues I'm going to spell it out for you. This isn't normal or acceptable parenting. Your mom and stepfather have been getting money to care for you and probably used the majority of it throughout their lives on themselves. You ended their gravy train and are of no use to them anymore. Make plans to move.
die_or_wolf: Also, assuming this is the US, we've developed a culture where we kick our kids out at 18 without actually preparing them properly. Add to this a little bit of special needs in the case of the OP, and it's a even bigger problem.
Basically, in the US we don't do multigenerational living, and adult children often don't get the support or opportunity to grow some wealth before leaving the nest.
A couple of generations of this, with an increase in costs of education and living expenses growing faster than wages puts many of us in bad positions and lots of personal debt.
alittlebrownbird: I completely disagree that we've developed a culture where we kick kids out at 18. In fact, I've never known anyone to have had this happen and I'm 51. Mostly I read about it in various posts. Just because it happens to some doesn't mean all, and definitely not our culture.
pneuma8828: If you are 51, you know perfectly damn well that we grew up with kids that had to join the military because their parents kicked them out when they were 18. Perhaps your memory is getting faulty in your old age.
RevengeOfTheSynth: This was unnecessarily rude.
pneuma8828: I thought it was masterfully done myself. Just the right touch of snark to convey disdain. If you are going to use your age to support your argument, your age becomes fair game...especially to guys who are just as old, and know better.
Jrook: Why is everyone saying there's a culture of kicking people out unable to find one single article saying so? Why is it 500 people saying they know people? It should be super easy to find data supporting your overwhelming conclusion, should it not?
pneuma8828: Because I lived it. My grandparents turned 18 getting drafted into World War 2. My parents turned 18 in a world where it was possible for a high school graduate to walk into a factory job with zero experience and earn enough to raise a family and buy a house. By the time I was 10, this was no longer true, but that didn't stop a lot of people from having the expectation that you left home at 18. I went to college and came home for my first Thanksgiving, and my parents had turned my room into a guest room. A guy I knew, Kira, he had to join the Marines. I think by the end of the nineties people had figured out that the world had changed too much, and this expectation died out.
Jrook: Ok so we have, what 12 people including yourself that say they know someone or are someone who was kicked out. What good does that prove it's common or not. Where you homeschooled, maybe ask your parents if they were planning on teaching statistics to you in year 13
pneuma8828: Have you actually tried googling "kicked out at 18"? The more you talk the dumber you sound.
Jrook: Put up numbers or shut up
pneuma8828: No. I'm not your monkey. Believe whatever you like; I couldn't care less how ignorant you are.
| 13 | 1,937.923077 | |
1669423431 | 1669439026 | t3_z4tcu8 | t5_2to41 | 569 | justm33333: TIFU by not asking my Tinder date his age before meeting
[removed]
JustSomeUsername99: Not your fault, his. He's the one who shouldn't be hiding his age, especially going out on a date with a 19 yo. He should have been sure you were OK with it.
cballowe: Does tinder allow people to hide their age? If OP set their preferences for like 18-30, would they have even seen him?
apathyontheeast: I mean, OP was cool dating a 35 year old as a 19 yr old, so I don't think she's super in the clear either. Super sketchy on both sides.
Wheels9690: Eh, shes over 18. Its legal and no ones business but their own.
dietbongwater: idk why people are cool with age gaps like this just because it’s “legal”, it’s still really gross imo, there’s a dude at my workplace that’s around 45 and started dating an 18 year old there that was fresh out of high school, and he has kids
Idk about y’all but I would have some MAJOR issues trying to see someone with half the life experience I’ve had at such a young level, no matter how you put it, your brain isn’t even fully developed at all by then so it just seems weird and predatory. it’s different if it’s idk 30 and 60, that’s totally fine, but an 18 year old has barely had time to run in the real world at most points. I don’t care if it’s legal, that’s still a child to me.
Wheels9690: What 2 consenting adults do is none of our business and our opinions are irrelevant. We should have absolutely 0 say on what 2 adults do relationship-wise so long as they are both 18 or over
dietbongwater: well I’m sure if you had that 45 year old coworker make a comment about how a younger associate’s (not the same 18yr old but another young girl) chest was larger than his daughters I’m sure you’d feel a little different about the situation
It’s weird if you think a 40yr old dating an 18yr old is totally fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s just my opinion on it
Wheels9690: I think it's weird you are so invested in other people's lives >.>
If its two CONSENTING adults, who cares.
Someone randomly gushing about a girls chest size is very different from 2 people dating with a age gap.
dietbongwater: Well I was friends with that associate he started dating. She made it very clear she had trauma that lead to her dating this older dude and was being taken advantage of. There are reasons to care my man. Sounds like you’re an older dude who would date an 18yr old yourself since you’re just so fine with it.
Also talking about your daughters mf chest in relation to a coworker is WEIRD and not okay lmfao it’s fucking creepy
Wheels9690: I think you are straying from topic here.
If a CONSENTING couple are dating with a age gap, it is no ones business but their own and outside opinions should be kept to ones self because it does not concern your life.
Where you are pulling this shit of someone comparing his daughter's chest to a co-worker is beyond me. Obviously yeah thats creepy, but also nothing to do with the topic on hand.
dietbongwater: My point is age gaps are fine when it is mature adults but when it is with someone that is literally just barely fucking legal it’s a problem, just using my coworkers as a good example. Dude has kids. Girl has trauma. Dude has made really creepy fucking gross comments at work before and to other girls. This specific girl he’s seeing also obviously has not aged mentally past high school yet. He’s literally taking advantage of her and doing nasty shit that affects me at work because I have to be around it. They may be consenting but one party is clearly being taken advantage of and whether she’s consenting or not doesn’t fucking matter, it is still gross at the end of the day. I think it’s super weird you wouldn’t bat an eye at it.
Wheels9690: If shes chooses to date him then that's her choice and no ones business. She's an adult and can make her own choices. We really need to stop infantilizing people who are legal adults.
You can ask him to keep his creepy comments to himself sure.
Outside of that their relationship itself shouldn't be any of your concern.
dietbongwater: Really defending this whole middle aged adults should be able to date individuals fresh out of high school with no judgement huh 🤔
Wheels9690: I am more on the lines of staying out of people's lives unless directly asked to be involved in a situation.
If they are consenting adults, its no ones concern but their own.
If someone says "hey I am trapped in this relationship and need help getting out" different story.
But in todays world people feel like they are entitled to interfere with other peoples lives if they think they hold some moral high ground, even though they were never asked to interfere
| 15 | 37.933333 | |
1669424876 | 1669590709 | t3_z4tvl8 | t5_2to41 | 1,653 | Nyther: TIFU By Writing "Doo Doo Pants" At Work
A coworker and I always joke back and forth at work. Very harmless, jovial kinds of jokes. Jokes I always feel can be repeated out of context and still be harmless. There's a whiteboard in the employee lounge, it's not used. I wrote my coworkers name and "Poopy Pants" beside it. They did not find that joke funny and reported me to HR. My boss talked to me and I have a meeting with HR later in the week. It's apparently serious enough my boss warned I could get fired. It was very difficult to keep a straight face over seeing pictures of the whiteboard and my boss angrily saying "Poppy Pants" every few sentences. I'm freaking out, but kind of want to see HR have to write the words "Poopy Pants" on my termination paper. I think the issue was that I wrote it and not just said it. So there's actual evidence of my "slander".
TL;DR: I wrote the words "Poopy Pants" on the employee whiteboard and may get fired.
UPDATE 1: After reading comments and talking to other employees, I think I've figured out the why of the situation. Other employees legit tease and make fun of him. I'm thinking he thought I was different, but when I wrote poopy pants, he felt I was just as mean as the others since I wrote it for others to see as opposed to just saying them to him privately.
UPDATE 2: For those saying I'm a mean ol' bully and should get fired and die alone in a gutter. Poopy Pants was the worst I have said to him. The worst he has said to me? A balding joke (I'm not sensitive about it, but it would understandable if I was upset). And a very close to racist skin tone comment about me and my family lineage (again, not a sensitive subject to me, but, if it had been a random person I would have taken it as a racial remark, but I knew his intentions were not hateful). I didn't mention these before, bause I don't agree with the "it's ok to hurt his feeling because he was mean to me" mentality and wouldn't justify what I did in HR's eyes (according to my boss anyways). That and he didn't write anything down, I did and he's shown himself to be a very well intentioned guy, up until this incident.
UPDATE 3: I haven't met with HR, but I had a long talk with my boss today. For him, anyways, he considers this matter over and done with. He feels like the verbal reprimand he, and later on this week HR will give, is sufficient. I'm pretty sure it's because I was fiercely apologetic and my boss said that he's certain if the coworker had come to me, I would have changed my behavior. Now, if I do something like this again, it's an automatic firing. So, once I meet with HR, I think I'll be ok. I'll also only be interacting with said coworker when it comes to work related matters only.
UPDATE 4: Talked with HR. Apparently there are different "levels" of misconduct. Insults, harassment, bullying and hate speech. After much investigating, their words, they couldn't find any way in which it was hate speech, unless he was incontinent and disclosed it to his employer, which he did not. Bullying and harassment have to be a pattern. Which this is the first documented incident. Which only left insults. Which only carry, at most, a written reprimand. So, as long as I keep my nose clean, I'm good.
xclord: Seems weak. Did you apologize to poopy pants?
Nyther: I did and he said it felt like it was a derogatory comment. It's been pushed all the way up the corporate chain too. It was literally the word "poopy" too. Not shit or anything that harsh. I literally used a 3rd grade insult on an adult and may get fired.
Minute-Ad-2148: You’re getting fired for harassment and creating a hostile work environment.
Get over yourself. Your lack of self awareness is staggering.
Consider this: your “friend” doesn’t view you or your other coworkers as friends. Maybe they haven’t asked you to stop but that doesn’t mean your jokes haven’t always made this person extremely uncomfortable. They probably are tired of everyone fucking with them thinking it’s funny.
I hope you do get fired, and furthermore I hope you aren’t able to use your current employer as a reference as they’ll be able to tell potential employers that you’re not eligible for rehire.
Nyther: Him dropping skin tone comments and balding jokes, are ok? But my "I bet you pooped your pants" comment, that's too far? One is a comment that is about my aperance that I can't deny and the other is a poop joke that wouldn't be taken seriously. Seems like your lack of awareness is staggering
Minute-Ad-2148: That’s on you for not documenting and reporting those things then.
At this point if you try and report them it will just look like you trying to save your own ass when you have no credibility.
Let this be a lesson for the future. Don’t “joke around” at work if those jokes are aimed at people. If somebody makes comments to you that you think are unprofessional you should document it and ask them to stop, and if they continue to make those comments you should report them.
I also recommend not even “befriending” coworkers or letting them know much about your life outside of work. Keep it professional. Don’t talk about your weekend activities.
Basically don’t give any of your coworkers ammo that can be used to fire you.
Nyther: So, he didn't ask me to stop, just went straight to HR. No chance for me to do anything, but, like you said, it's on me because I'm a horrible person and hopfully I'll die in a gutter somewhere after getting fired. I'll make sure to keep you updated on any negative aspects of my life (horray for you!) or anything positive that happens (boo on me!).
Minute-Ad-2148: Asking people to stop is just a courtesy for documentation to help build a stronger case. Harassment is unwanted contact so either by asking them to stop or by reporting it to HR you are making it known as unwanted.
Some people do not feel comfortable asking other people to stop and choose to make HR their first choice.
Others prefer to ask the person to stop first, that way when they go to HR they can show that it’s a pattern of harassment and not a one time thing.
You’re employer is well within their right to fire you for a single instance of harassment.
Nyther: I know they can fire me for literally any non-discriminatory reason. That's why I posted this TIFU, not in an advice subreddit. Posting it here admits I fucked up and I just want to bitch about it. You seem to want to crucify me for that.
Minute-Ad-2148: You’re misreading my opinion.
I’m crucifying your ignorance of employment law and the way you assumed this coworker was a friend of yours. You literally described them as “my friend from work” instead of my coworker. I thought that was very clueless as they probably don’t see you as a friend if they are trying to get you fired.
I also thought it was a bit out of touch the way you assumed people have exit interviews when they’re fired.
If anything I’ve actually given you some pretty solid advice to treat your coworkers with respect and to keep your work life and personal life separated. Never make a joke at someone else’s expense at work, even if you think you’re friends. If somebody makes fun of you at work you should report it, and who knows maybe the harassment will continue and you’ll get a 5 figure settlement out of it from arbitration or from a lawsuit.
Gotta know when to keep your head low and fly under the radar as to stay out of trouble, and figure out ways in which you can step up and make yourself an asset to the company so that they’d be less likely to let you go if times get tough.
Nyther: I haven't met with HR, so I still may get fired and you can celebrate. However, I talked to my boss today and it's looking like all I'm getting is a verbal reprimand. He said as long as I learn and grow from this experience, he considers the matter over and done with. I think it's because I showed emotion, contrary to your advice, and was humble, remorseful and sympathetic. I know you said I should not care and just tell him "oh well. Too bad." about hurting a coworkers feelings, but showing basic human compassion seems to have gone a long way. Also, he said my indespensibility is what helped me the most. I dont know how, since I didnt know that you should work hard and be valuable to a company until you told me. Even though being valuable, but only doing the bare minumum, like you said, doesn't seem to go hand and hand. Now, don't get too upset, I may still get fired. I will let you know.
Minute-Ad-2148: Lol you’re clueless.
Nobody told you to say “Oh well, so sad” to your boss. I was implying that you need to take responsibility and own your fuck up and not try and give excuses or rationalize it to your boss.
I’m getting the impression you’re really bad at communicating with people… and not that great at understanding criticism.
They may let you stay but you can be sure that your job is longer secure.
Nyther: Your criticism was that I should get fired and never show any emotion that may make me vulnerable at work. That I'm not a good worker and I'm the lowest common denominator at work. I'm getting the impression that you're a cold emotionless curmudgeon who distains any human interaction. You then judge and condemn any who make mistakes to solidify that your way of doing things is the only way. That you hate to see others succeed any in way and delight in any misfortune that befalls others. That you can't stand when anyone has the slightest modicum of good fortune in their lives if it's not directly related to your involvement. That's why I plan to keep you updated on every good and positive thing in my life. To ruin your day with my positivity.
Minute-Ad-2148: I didn’t say never show any emotion. I said keep your work life and personal life separate and don’t try to rationalize and justify your actions with excuses when confronted.
That’s just generally good life advice. Maybe I overestimated your ability to comprehend my advice
Also, if you seriously think random internet strangers want to be kept appraised of your life status and achievements… you are sorely mistaken
Nyther: You don't want to be kept appraised of anything positive that happens to other people, that's why I'm going to keep you updated. Because I know how mad other people's happiness makes you.
And your advice on no excuses is, if they ask why I did it, just tell them it doesn't matter. That's sounds like it would go over amazingly.
| 15 | 110.2 | |
1669426139 | 1669492600 | t3_z4ubs9 | t5_2to41 | 8,260 | throwaway_14328: TIFU by literally shitting the bed
Throwaway because I don’t need this turning up at my next job interview.
This morning I had woken up with the poop cramps (tm) and emptied my bowels, heart, soul, and about 6 pounds of my body weight into the toilet. As one does the day after Thanksgiving.
Unfortunately, I had not realized there would be more ‘giving’ to give.
To set the scene, I’m laying in a nice comfy bed with my fiancée. Sweatpants on, watching Home Alone, not a care in the world. My black cat is asleep on the bed with us, when I feel it. The pressure building up to dangerous levels. It feels like just a fart. I’ve never been wrong before. I’m always the one to mock those stories of people shitting themselves. Fools, my rectal cavity is built upon bedrock. Surely that sort of thing does not happen to anal gods like myself. How i have fallen from my throne of accurate shitting.
I release the fart. Probably my biggest mistake since my birth. It erupts with a force of the wind gods themselves. A bellow to be heard from the heavens, finally asserting my dominance over my fiancée. It was me. *I* had the loudest fart, and thus was alpha-male. However, a sharp liquid burning interrupted my triumph.
“I can’t have” I thought. I’m too far above such childish things. Yet…. I could feel it. Something was different. I sprang up from bed, in my haste moving He Who Shall Not Be Disturbed (my cat). I only had moments to spare. Liquid shits erupted from my rectum like lava finally erupting from their prisons of earth. Forget what you know about diarrhea. This was so much of a liquid that you could run it through a Brea filter and still have it look brand new.
It coated everything. Only, I did not realize the extent of the catastrophe. I tried wiping to no avail. It coated my rectum like a thousand layer burrito, and nothing could remove it. Somehow, it got worse. It had somehow even coated areas…. *beyond* the hole. Fingers brushing what should be free real estate or even stray hairs came back…. Traumatizing. Two full loads of toilet paper flushed, and I finally decided to take a shower. Forty minutes of scrubbing everything multiple times, and I still felt dirty. I could still smell that foul odor, despite using half a can of air freshener to cover up the scent of my creation. I could still hear the anguished screams (and laughter) of my fiancée as the scent traveled through the barely open door, cursing her with its wrath. I could still see the shart in my underwear, my great act of destruction upon humanity.
Hours later, I’m still terrified. I can still smell it in the air. I still feel dirty. My family will be shamed for generations. This is a core memory. My life has been changed forever.
Tldr: I sharted, felt dirty, got really sad ):
shikuto: It’s okay dude!
I used to be an electrician. One day, I was up on a lift, and my buddy had just gone to the bathroom himself. It was towards the end of the day, and I had (what I thought was) a nice, ~~ripping~~ thunderous fart built up. When he came back to where we were running our conduit, I yelled out “Hey Nano, check this out!” Then I let it rip.
There was very little fart. It was just mixed in with the not-fart. It made a tremendous sound, echoing a bit in the warehouse we were wiring up. I knew immediately. He knew immediately. Neither of us said anything, and I began lowering the lift. I stepped out of it, looked at him, and said “I’m going home now. I won’t be back today. See you tomorrow.”
He never gave me any, uh, shit about it though. He’s a good ~~dude~~ man.
Edit: two words, in order to make it a hair less repetitive. That said, this is a 100% true story.
ViscountBurrito: Laughed out loud at this one, imagining you all psyched up to give this guy a memorable fart and then sheepishly GTFO.
shikuto: Oh no, don’t be mistaken. I wasn’t sheepish. I was **extremely** frank. I was highly embarrassed, but not sheepish. I factually stated the things I quoted, I didn’t ‘make an appeal.’ It didn’t matter if I got fired over it, I was absolutely going home and not coming back until the day after.
It wasn’t a ‘hey, can I go home?’ It was a “I am going home, see you tomorrow” kind of event.
I’m delighted that my former misfortune was able to bring you some joy, though. It’s really funny in retrospect.
ListenItWillHear: I shit my pants once out of spite/principle. Had a boss whos favorite response to leaving early/time off was "someone better have died or you shit your pants." I was not feeling well and had runny shits. Not good enough for him. So i mustered up my courage and sharted in front of him. He was horrified but i did not care, i was feeling *that* unwell. He asked if i really just did that. I kinda nodded and just walked out. Boss never asked or confronted me about it, just called the next day to see if i was coming in. Got a weird good/bad rep at work from it. Most found it hilarious/awesome that i stood up to him that way (he stopped using the phrase from then on), but a few people wouldnt even look at me anymore lol
CubeFace4: You're my hero
ListenItWillHear: Not all heros wear capes. Some just have brown pants.
Firebrass: I'm imagining a barback towel, fluttering lightly in the breeze on one end and lodged firmly in some crack on the other, sort of a juniors cape.
IIIDVIII: #browncape
| 9 | 917.777778 | |
1669414464 | 1669475142 | t3_z4pvl3 | t5_2to41 | 162 | Mental_Engineer4088: TIFU by adding gay erotica to my Amazon wishlist
I (31 f) am married to a well meaning but sometimes socially awkward guy (35 m). We've been putting Christmas wishlists together and collecting wishlists from family. I'm not exactly shy about the fact that I'm queer and don't strictly identify as my assigned sex, so it's not shocking to anyone that a lot of the media I consume is queer in nature. And most people are not surprised that a lot of my wishlist items are queer related thing's. That being said, I haven't sent my wishlist out to everyone- just a few people.
One of the individuals I have not given my wishlist to is my husband's father. This is where my husband's awkwardness comes into play. When his father asked what I wanted for Christmas, he sent his father a screenshot of my list... the only items on said screenshot? Three erotica novels all of them queer...
So fast-forward to today. We've traveled 6 hours to spend Thanksgiving with the husband's family and exchange gifts. And his dad hands me a book... an unwrapped book, and I know exactly what it is...
My husband's father, bless his heart; is just as awkward and clueless as his son. He has no idea what he's done. So I just have to stand there, trapped between my husband and his father (who are chatting happily, none the wiser that I am slowing dying from shame), holding a gay erotica novel and trying not to catch fire with the heat of my intense embarrassment.
My husband's father bought me gay porn, and he doesn't even know. I'm dying. My husband and sister-in-law find this extremely hilarious, and say its not a big deal because he doesn't know what he did. But I know. I have to live with this knowledge forever. I may never be able to look him in his face again.
TL;DR
My husband's father unknowingly bought me gay porn for Christmas.
AcrobaticSource3: Sounds like your father in law is a cool dude
Individual-Silver-74: They all seem to be pretty cool people
| 3 | 54 | |
1669427948 | 1669689564 | t3_z4uyjn | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally making my cleaning lady touch my cum pants
[deleted]
sirusfox: I mean, she didn't need to touch the pants and if she's that disgusted by it, probably better she is out of your life.
jaydoes: This seems a bit extreme on her part but I bet guys do creepy stuff like that.
sirusfox: I get that and such, but it wasn't like OP told her to grab the pants. She chose to do that on her own. It's OPs house, if he wants to jerk it, that's his business. It didn't involve the maid, until the maid made it involve her.
jaydoes: Yes I'm with you. She should have left them alone.
Ok_Rhubarb7652: Her sole job is to clean his apartment
jaydoes: I don't disagree with that but I'm sure people do creepy stuff to maids. She's maybe overreacting.
Ok_Rhubarb7652: If I was just doing my job and somehow touched wet jizz I would be quitting and out of there too but I guess everyone has different limits lol
jaydoes: And I think he should have warned her. At least say you might want to leave those be. Although now that I think about it I'm not sure why he just left them there. I would have immediately pushed them well down into the dirty clothes hamper exactly to avoid any potential embarrassing questions.
| 9 | 4.555556 | |
1669055420 | 1669130430 | t3_z168af | t5_2to41 | 2,226 | SnooEpiphanies2931: TIFU by telling a mom at my kid’s school to get f****d.
I get maybe 50 spam texts or phone calls a day. Some want to buy my house. Some want to steal my credit card info. Some want me to click on a link. Regardless of intent, they’re all annoying. I used to not respond to the texts, but it’s gotten so out of hand that my go-to response is now “Get f****d.” Why? Because they deserve it, that’s why.
Last week I received a text message saying “Hey! Here’s the link you requested” along with a text link. No preview, no hyperlink, no explanation, no nothing. I go to my default response, and delete the message.
With the amount of spam I get, it was safe to assume that this was another robot trying to steal my credit card information, right? I was wrong.
About ten minutes later, I get a response saying “Excuse me? The director at **school name** said that you wanted me to reach out to you about the parent volunteer group.” That’s when I go into panic mode. Do I wait two days to respond and tell her my phone got stolen? Do I say that it was my nonexistent little brother that stole my phone and was just messing around? Do I pull my child out of the school and never go back again?
I consulted the boss and asked her opinion. She said to just explain what happened and to apologize. A lot. “Did you learn your lesson?” she asked? Yes. Yes I did.
I texted back explaining the situation and how sorry I was. I asked if she could please tell me who she was and what it was all for, and to send the link again since the first one wasn’t working. She said it was fine, that these things happen. Needless to say I will never be showing my face at a parent volunteer event.
TL;DR
I thought an unknown number texting me was a spam bot. I told them to get f****d. It turned out to be parent from my child’s school.
JonnySucio: Responding to the texts probably makes it more frequent
PM_ur_Rump: Lol. Yeah, I always think it's funny when people respond to spam and think it's somehow getting back at them. No. You are just validating the number and inviting more. I rarely get spam, because I never answer it when I do.
yazzy1233: I literally never responded to spam and I have over 400 unread messages right now, dude, it's frustrating.
PM_ur_Rump: Email or text?
yazzy1233: Text
PM_ur_Rump: Eek. Wild. Who did you give your number too?!
My spam filter seems to work pretty well. I get a few in the spam folder a month, and rarrrrely one gets through to my "real" messages.
I also use a different phone for craigslist/marketplace/non-official business/etc. It gets a a bit more, but not by *that* much.
| 7 | 318 | |
1669430339 | 1669432268 | t3_z4vskb | t5_2to41 | 23 | ConfusedBoi05555: TIFU by falling for my friend
Hey, I’m a 16m who’s a junior in High School and I started to fall for my friend. She’s in my grade, and she’s someone I would’ve never expected to fall for, it just started happening out of no where, I was so confused and conflicted. I’ve been talking to her in a totally platonic way, no romantic feelings whatsoever, I was crushing on all the stereotypical pretty girls then. However, this year everything changed, I was watching her little hand movements, her eyes lighting up every time she smiled, and how she would scold me whenever I did something stupid. I was completely swayed by her, and I felt so guilty. I am a muslim, and so is she(she doesn’t wear a hijab though) so I feel so guilty whenever I catch myself looking at her like that. I feel even more depressed when I realize I could never have her as it is obviously highly unlikely that I could ever marry her. I just want these feelings to go away, I can’t stop myself for finding every excuse to talk to her, even though I know I shouldn’t fall any deeper. I hope this all just passes by, and I know that it probably would but it still hurts. I’ve never felt this strongly about someone before. I still got to keep it halal though wallahi but it’s getting more difficult day by day.
TL;DR: I’m a muslim who fell for my muslim friend and now I am feeling guilty for looking at my friend that way.
Devittraisedto2: Falling in love isn't haram or anything
You shouldn't feel guilty for falling in love with someone
You're 16, it's not the end of the world just because you were enamored by someone
Live your life and your youth
ConfusedBoi05555: Fsfs
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1669430078 | 1669507483 | t3_z4vpiu | t5_2to41 | 956 | ypsicle: TIFU girlfriend’s oral performance gave me amnesia
TL;DR: Today I (47M) fucked up by orgasming so hard I forgot where or when I was with my girlfriend’s (33F) help.
So I was spending a lovely evening with family and had just finished a meal of leftover Turkey from the night before. Family left to go do a family thing and me and the gf were left to our own devices for a few. What does one do in a rare moment of privacy over a holiday weekend with an empty house? Gf is on her period and we did not think it the wisest decision to turn my sister’s guest room sheets into a crime scene so oral would have to suffice. I should preface this with a few minutes prior I had stood up from the floor and gotten a little light headed. This is relevant momentarily.
My girlfriend is amazing and a total champ. I was taking my sweet time coming to completion, but she stuck with me until I crossed the finish line. After that, I don’t remember much.
The next memory I had was getting in my truck to go to the ER. I don’t remember changing my pants or putting my shirt back on. I don’t recall having any conversation that would make her suspect I wasn’t alright. I faintly remember a phone call with my sister (family practice doctor), but I don’t remember what we talked about. I can remember a few bits and pieces. I felt a little bit like it was all a dream.
Currently sitting in the ER waiting for a room. I feel ok now. Slight headache. Blood sugar is a bit high, but not alarming. Blood pressure ok. Trying not to freak out about how much this is going to cost even with insurance, but whatever it costs, it’s better than being dead. Mostly just typing this up so I stop notifying friends one by one via text where I am. I feel ok. Just waiting on the doctor’s diagnosis.
Also, no idea what to tell my family or friends about how exactly I ended up in the ER. My sister being a doctor will be able to see through any medical BS.
Update: doctor said my brain was ok. No stroke. Transient Global Amnesia.
Saberise: I was thinking Reversible Cerebral Vasoconstriction Syndrome until you said it was a slight headache with no BP issues. Orgasming can cause it.
ypsicle: Transient Global Amnesia. I asked my gf what happened in the time I blacked out and it is SURREAL hearing her go through what I said and did.
Pepsi_Cola64: Did you keep repeating yourself? That’s what happened to my dad after his TGA episode. It’s how we knew to go to the ER. He literally couldn’t remember that he just said something and kept saying it
eldryanyy: Do you need to go to the ER? I had this very mildly a few weeks ago, and strangely, my gf also had it. Same time. So, neither of us remembers exactly wtf happened.
BackwoodsMarathon: Get a carbon monoxide detector.
eldryanyy: I was actually in a hotel, I checked - they do have carbon monoxide alarms, supposedly.
Scoobz1961: In that case it must have been aliens. Check your anuses for probes.
eldryanyy: Damn, Reddit being real pieces of shit over legitimate amnesia.
| 9 | 106.222222 | |
1669431389 | 1669438119 | t3_z4w56h | t5_2to41 | 41 | skuzzlebutt36: TIFU by letting my boss use my phone and accidentally like a girl’s young photo on Instagram
Bro, this is ridiculous. Prepare yourselves. So, last night I was having a conversation with one of my parents’ best friend’s sister’s daughter (I know). And then I brought her up in conversation this morning with my boss. So he asks if he could see a photo of her, and I was like “yeah, I guess.” So he scrolls through her Instagram on my phone and accidentally liked a photo from like 4 years ago. And she was fucking 16 in the photo. Literally. Because I’m 5 years older than her. Currently, I’m 25, she’s 20. But like. Dude. What the fuck do I say to her. It’s been hours since it happened. And I’m like “yo, does she think I’m a fucking creep now?” Part of me feels like she totally got weirded out by that. I’m worried as hell and I’m not sure if I should approach her about it somehow.
Help me fix this, please, Reddit!
TL:DR I let my boss use my phone and he liked a young photo of a girl with my account.
lobo_locos: >having a conversation with one of my parents’ best friend’s sister’s daughter
Nytonial: Uncles cousins former room mate
lobo_locos: First thing I though of lol
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1668736204 | 1668799958 | t3_yy7x60 | t5_2to41 | 13,796 | Fun-Coat-6065: TIFU By allowing my jealous cousin use my laptop
[removed]
stomaticmonk: OP post some pictures of the damage. Maybe it can be repaired. Also, is it under warranty?
RevengencerAlf: From what OP described in comments repair is not an option. IT sounds like he didn't just kick it or throw it but went to down on it. The body of the device is apparently bent. Not like the screen but the actual computer half.
stomaticmonk: Sounds like a warranty claim is probably gonna be the best bet
RevengencerAlf: Warranties don't cover intentional damage, and if she brings this in to an apple store they will 100% look at that and say "yeah no somebody trashed this on purpose."
If and only if her mom bought an *extended* warranty there *might* be no-questions asked claim but I would say considering she had to save up cash to get it I think the risk is high she did not purchase that (and to be fair 90% of the time the prudent and correct decision is not to pay for those warranties so she would not have been wrong not to take it).
stomaticmonk: Maybe. Depends on what they claim happened to it. I used to work for AT&T and saw some dumb and very obviously not covered shit get replaced through warranty. Really depends on who you get. I’d probably report it stolen and see if they’ll replace it.
RevengencerAlf: That may or may not technically be an option but OP would have to be willing to lie and technically commit (an admittedly very low key version of) insurance Fraud.
stomaticmonk: I’d call it more fudging the truth than actually lying. And worst case scenario they deny the claim
RevengencerAlf: Claiming an item was stolen when it wasn't in order to secure coverage for something you think won't be is *textbook* insurance fraud. It is objectively, completely, unequivocally a lie no matter how you massage it. Is it low stakes and unlikely to generate any actual consequences? Definitely. Does that make it morally acceptable? That's for an individual person to judge for themselves. But it is still a lie and still fraud and I would never advise someone to do that without knowing their specific moral disposition.
stomaticmonk: I’d argue that the cousin obtained the laptop under false pretense. Theft adjacent.
RevengencerAlf: Ok? Doesn't make what OP would be doing any less of a lie if they were to follow your suggestion. If we were talking about OP getting back at her cousin here you'd have a point and I would support finding some way to fuck him over or extract restitution from him if she can do it safely without exposing herself to major risk, but that's a far cry from "someone else wronged me so I'm going to deceive an uninvolved third party to fix it."
stomaticmonk: I’m simply laying out possible options, not telling them specifically what they should do. A warranty claim is probably their best bet to get it replaced regardless of how they file it.
RevengencerAlf: To be honest her best bet is to take advantage of the fact that she knows she can beat him up and strike fear in him to introduce him to the fear of god and take what she is owed discretely when mommy isn't around to rescue him ^(For legal reasons this is a joke). But that comes with its own risks and moral quandaries.
stomaticmonk: So we’ve gone from minor fraud to straight up intimidation/possible violence? Where’s the morality in that?
RevengencerAlf: Morality is subjective and I never said it was or wasn't moral. Since you were insistent on recommending fraud and continue to qualify it as "minor" as if that changes what it is I figured you'd be ok with it.
What's a little "*minor"* intimidation to the person who actually committed the wrong in the first place against a little "minor" fraud committed against an unrelated third party?
Using your logic I should go shoplift from walmart to make myself whole if someone steals my wallet I guess. After all even if I go steal a hundred bucks with of stuff to replace my cash that's a lot more "minor" than the price of a computer.
| 15 | 919.733333 | |
1667591398 | 1667679301 | t3_ym8icj | t5_2to41 | 1,173 | Sea-Offer-5031: TIFU by telling my sibling about my mothers horrible reactions to our Christmas gifts
So, I am kinda on the edge of whether I actually fucked up or not. However, I do now feel very bad that I unearthed something without knowing it, causing drama.
My (21F) mother (48F) is extremely picky when it comes to gifts we get her. It really stresses me out. Only once (last year) did I successfully get her something she liked. The previous years however, she is extremely bad at faking it when she opens the gift and will usually tell me later why it was a bad gift. One year we got her this very nice heated blanket. I asked her how she liked it about a week later (my first mistake) and she told me that she doesn’t use it bc it’s too big for the couch and too small for the bed. That was two years ago and I STILL haven’t seen her use it once (I live with her). Other years it’s been much worse. When I was still in high school, my siblings and I got her an array of bath and body works products that cost a little over $100. This was apparently a terrible gift. After the fact, she yelled at me telling me how ungrateful we are and how she never has gotten anything nice in all of her life and the least her kids could do was show a little appreciation. She thought the gift was too cheap. I was crushed.
I thought my siblings (23 F, 20F, 16M, and 16M) knew about her reactions every year so when we were going through ideas as per usual, I was trying to be supportive but also tell them “well that’s not really a group present bc it’s too cheap” or “I don’t know if she’ll like that” due to my years of dealing with her responses. I explained to my sister (23F) that if we spend too little money she’ll get upset like before. She asked me to explain what I mean, so I told her about what she said previous years. She is LIVID.
My mom now is remarried to a man that spoils her a little so she doesn’t really complain like she used to (not regarding gifts) and will completely refuse to acknowledge what she said especially in front of her new husband. I think she’s a little embarrassed. I thought my sisters knew. The other siblings haven’t responded yet. I’m worried that I’ve caused an uproar over the past (my older sister definitely isn’t letting this go) and upset my siblings when they didn’t have to know. I can’t undo what I’ve done and I realize her actions aren’t my fault but I feel terrible.
tl;dr- I told my siblings about my mom’s unappreciative comments about past x-mas gifts and my older sister is furious. I feel terrible bc I thought they knew and I could have kept them in ignorance.
Edit for clarification *as requested* (sorry I didn’t do it earlier)-
My mother was badly abused growing up and then married my abusive father. They got divorced when I was 11. At the time of the bath & body works gift, only three of us (the girls) got the present bc the boys were too young. I did not have a job at the time (my sisters did but did not work a lot) so I borrowed money (not from my mother) and worked it off. All of us (except the oldest) were minors. We also had to get gifts for our father, step-mother, and grandfather. I only mentioned my step-father as my mothers attitudes have changed (not completely gone but better) bc her life is now not as stressful and she does now occasionally get nice things (at the time we were the only ones getting her a gift). I am not AT ALL saying that just bc her husband gets her nice things that now we don’t. We still (last year included) spend a good chunk of change on her (more than our father, step-mother and grandfather) and get her the best gift we can afford. The gift she did like was an expensive purse.
Also- I keep seeing this. She has psychological problems she still needs to work through but she is NOT a narcissist. My father and step-mother are narcissists so I have spent a bit of time getting familiar. She may have been diagnosed with bipolar in the past, but I was young then so I could be incorrect.
PaperCasts: It's clear your mother has gift related trauma that has nothing to do with any of you, i get why you feel bad but try to remind yourself that she's projecting.
She may also feel resentful when gift times come because she may feel like no one understands her. Try setting what stores or hobbies or brands she frequents, and then get her a gift card for that instead. Or go full fuck it and make her a card and write a nice letter in it instead. Gotta let her problem be * **her** * problem.
Nowhere is it written in stone that you *must* gift the impossible person. Idk if you tried talking to her about it to see what her actual problem is, but it might be worth a try if you want to keep working on it with her
Amaranth_devil: Like the mom will appreciate that, let's get real here. That entitled thing shaped like a person shouldn't get diddly squat.
PaperCasts: I tried to come from a perspective that it seemed like they were coming from. If you read carefully at the language OP uses, it seems like they want a relationship with mom, like they want to figure this out. I've got my own experience with this, between being a mother and dealing with people/ family that behave this way.
I try to put myself in OP's shoes and heart, and think carefully before i respond in a cruel and unhelpful way🥲that's all.
Amaranth_devil: Oh i definitely gathered that. At 48 years old i doubt she will change her stripes any time soon as i am sure she's seen the chagrined expressions on her children's faces once she negatively criticized their gifts. Get her nothing so maybe she can realize "hey, i guess i should be grateful that they got me anything at all, maybe i shouldn't be so selfish".
PaperCasts: While i totally appreciate where you're coming from and it ***is very hard for them to change***, it's always good to give them an opportunity to clearly see and understand your boundaries and how their behavior affects you. Older generations grew up in a very different psychological environment, and very rarely do they think "oh, i must be the problem."
They've been conditioned to put it on someone else unless they've had gracious, forward-thinking parents. It's pretty safe to assume that most people born before 1999 has been through significant generational emotional abuse/ neglect. (*Not saying more recent generations haven't, just speaking statistically and to the best of my knowledge on the subject.*) From my personal experience dealing with a borderline narcissist born in the 1950's, they *can* learn, and they ***can get better*** when they realize that they're hurting you and that you ***will. leave.*** if they don't make reparations. Older folks were raised on "you don't turn your back on family no matter what" but living in 2022 you start to realize that "no matter what" is a very toxic mindset that supports abuse.
When dealing with humans, especially family that you *want* to keep close, it's usually a good move to operate on "innocent until proven guilty," within reason. I don't expect a chronically abused person to keep trying to mend with their abusers. I'm not implying you're wrong, simply inviting you to think a little more openly :)
Amaranth_devil: Such a gentle approach you have, it's soothing to the heart. I can get pretty harsh when cranky and entitled people are triggering for me so put the two together and i can get pretty recalcitrant towards trying to push for redemption. You are very sweet :)
PaperCasts: I am delighted to hear someone use the word recalcitrant. #wordnerds for life. I'm glad my softness soothes your soul, if only a little. (I get cranky too, but people are like, "that's not cranky, tHiS iS CRaNkY RAWRAWR"). may the people that cranky your pants be a little less cantankerous. Be well🥰
Amaranth_devil: Hehe wordnerds unite! Not everyday someone uses cantankerous as well 😁 may you have an utterly resplendent weekend!
PaperCasts: You too! 🥰🥰🥰
| 10 | 117.3 | |
1669436178 | 1669437312 | t3_z4xqjt | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU By Making My Wife Think I Want to Get Divorced For Christmas
[deleted]
SnooBunnies7461: Your joke was lost in translation. Why don't you just explain that you were trying to be funny by letting her know the vacuum wasn't a gift and apologize for the miscommunication.
ul2006kevinb: Did you stop reading halfway through the story?
| 3 | 9 | |
1669440293 | 1669537773 | t3_z4z2yg | t5_2to41 | 21 | fredsam25: TIFU by falling down some steps and making my in-laws think I was drunk
This happened today. I am staying at my in-laws for the holidays. I was coming down a flight of stairs wearing socks, and then I slipped with three steps to go. I couldn't recover and I ate cr@p hard. Landed on my hip, and it felt like I had shattered it. I got up in shock, and limped my way into the living room. Sat down on the couch and then passed out. When I woke up, my in-laws were in the room looking at me. Turns out I had soiled myself, which they could smell. What they didn't know is that I fell. They hadn't heard the fall and had no idea I was injured. They thought I was drunk, passed out, and then soiled myself. After my wife cleaning me and taking me to urgent care, I was told I don't have any broken bones. I just bruised the hell out of my hip and did what I did from the pain. My in-laws don't think I'm an alcoholic anymore, but I'm sure they think less of me after this. I'm going to be in bed at their place for a few days until I'm well enough to fly home. This is going to be fun.
Tldr: I fell down some stairs and soiled myself in front of my in-laws and probably lost their respect.
Global_Monk_5778: If you keep getting recurring pain, especially in your hips and back, after this, go back to your doc. I slipped 3 steps totally sober and slipped 2 discs, twisted my spine out of alignment, my coccyx was out of place and I did damage to my ligaments, hips etc. 12 years later I’m still in pain and need surgery but can’t for multiple reasons (other health stuff). Don’t put off going because “oh well it’s just lingering pain from where I fell”. As there might be more damage going on. I put it off assuming the pain would go and it didn’t, so wanted to give you a heads up.
As to them thinking less of you, if they do that’s on them not you. But if they’re decent folk they’ll understand and be worried about you more than anything. It’s a good thing you’re having to stay at theirs for a few days as they’ll see your pain and know your fall was truly serious so that’ll make them realise that it wasn’t in any way your fault. Glad you’re ok though and didn’t break your hip! You’d be stuck there much longer!
bluejellyfish52: You rolled a one going down the steps (that’s a D&D joke, seriously I hope you’re okay bc that SUCKS)
Global_Monk_5778: Hubby plays D&D and you’re spot on! 😆
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1667668884 | 1667777512 | t3_yn09f9 | t5_2to41 | 3,321 | Sufficient-Run-865: Tifu by not completely trusting my GF
TIFU by not completely trusting my GF. Because sometimes I act like a little boy in a man’s body.
So I’ve acted insecure and weird about my GF’s past relationships. When someone from her past comes up I always act stupid and go quiet.
So today we were having drinks with some friends when I spotted an IG influencer my GF really likes. I pointed her out and we go say hi and bye and thanks for your time (about 2 minutes).
When we get back she says to our friends she actually knows the guy because they used to chat and nothing ever happened but that’s why she knows that girl. Not from being a legit fan. Anyway I get upset and stupid. By being quiet and withdrawn. For like an hour. It sets the tone for the day and we are upset at each other.
When we get home she says this can’t happen again and says she is confused and doesn’t see a way forward. I tell her sorry again (because I’ve done this before, acted weird after finding something about her past)
So I’m broken right now and not sure if she will break up with me. This is my big flaw. My trust issues.
Let me state she is wonderful and the best person I’ve ever met. We love each other deeply and I even moved cities for her.
I don’t know what to do.
TLDR: I fucked up by not trusting my GF again about something silly from her past.
Edit: after a long Sunday of honest and open conversations things seem to be ok now (Monday morning). I am in the process of signing up for online therapy through Better life and will have a few sessions to scope it out.
Thanks to everyone who took time to write back and sorry if I haven’t replied to your comment yet. I’ll try get to it. Happy ending for now. Thank you squad : )
DaHolk: Going by the votes on existing comments:
Unpopular opinion incomming.
1. Trust issues don't come from nowhere. With this I mean "Usually trust issues stem from one's trust having been abused in the past. I find it somewhat unfair to be that unempathic towards YOUR needs and make it a make and break situation. (more below).
2. You going silent is basically one of the easiest and most controlled version of reacting to trust issues. You are not being controlling, you are not being accusatory, you are aware that it is probably nothing, it just is nagging you, and you don't take it out on her. It taking you a bit of time to contemplate on what happened and whether it actually correlates to past experiences should be an acceptable reaction. Again, empathy.
3. Unless she perceives it not as contemplation, but as punishment of the silent treatment variety. Which makes it a combination of her own hangups, miscommunication between you two and again, jumping to the less empathic solution.
So communicate. Yes, it's a weakness, Yes you are working on it. No it won't JUST magically go away, trust is build over time, and yes men are allowed to have those kinds of feelings if they have been warranted by past experiences. And NOONE is allowed to vent those types of past hangups aggressively or threateningly, which includes both trust issues AND having bad experiences with people with trust issues.
Talk to her about your silence not being directed at her as a punishment, it is a function of trying to work through confusion, and that should be perceived as optimal way of dealing with a known flaw.
Your emotions do matter too.
Reason for this perspective:
I have trust issues too. They stem from a huge history of being completely blindsided multiple times over things that used fall first in the "didn't even notice" category, which became the "This is nothing, I can't get paranoid over things" category, and then the "it's just a matter of time till the other shoe drops category". And still, it's not something I could ever "solve" with trying to exert control or power, but it doesn't make it "non existent". It takes time and repeated cases of trust NOT being broken, to rebalance those things. And immediately threatening the end of the relationship over "not totally being happy about everything" isn't doing that, imho.
Like I KNOW I react bad to surprises. I know that since my second GF at the time thought she'd "surprise me" with a radical new haircut, and my reaction of "non computing shock" was NOT what was wanted. It wasn't even "hating it" or "making a scene", just "not totally being exuberant immediately" was wrong enough to start a fight. So that didn't last in the long run.
So on the next go around, I informed GF3 when the topic of surprises came up that story and asked of her to give me a warning. Not to ask for permission, not to ask me for a veto in terms of choices, just for a warning. Just a text if it came up really spontaneous. Because I would probably not have the reaction she'd be imagining.
2 Months later she did exactly that, and was not just miffed about my initial reaction, but the followup reaction of asking her why she did that when it was basically the only ask that I had.
Yes, men have trust issues..... That's fair.
plasmoske: Giving the silent treatment or going silent is also a form of manipulation/toxic behavior. Depends on how you see it.
I've been on the short end of silent treatment with my ex or her going silent on me... countless amounts of times and I would hate it every time. Absolutely hate it. Would piss me off to no end and basically rattle me, because that's what silent treatment does.
It's immature and manipulative.
DaHolk: >Giving the silent treatment or going silent is also a form of manipulation/toxic behavior.
I agree on "the silent treatment" as a form of punishment, as in "I will not talk to you, you know what you did!!!!!!".
That is toxic.
But I couldn't disagree more about "going silent" in general.
You need to be able to let a partner breathe and allow for thoughts to arrange when something happened that didn't make them happy.
Because THEY need the time to figure out a response that falls in NONE of the traps that have triggered in the past, ore more probably "choose the trap that will most likely NOT trigger with YOU, because YOU are not the other people. But then again, neither were the other people until they became "the other people".
Automatically jumping to toxicity from "someone feeling the need to contemplate a response" (instead of bursting out with an accusation or aggression or or) is basically the same type of character flaw that causes the need for contemplation in the other person.
And no, in that conflict of same defects, it can't be a healthy state of relationship where one side can DEMAND to get it their way (and doubling down in their insecurities) while not appreciating the other trying to deal with theirs.
The issue is that even stating "I just need to think about this for a minute" can read as a threat to someone who wants to feel threatened... Even if it is preceeded with "we are ok, but ..."
That's what trust issues do. Repeated broken trust makes us second guess ways to deal with a situation that made us unhappy. Because past responses made everything worse, in ways that we didn't anticipate. That's learning from past mistakes. There is an internal monologue that needs to run it's course, before it can be blurted out and cause damage we don't intend to do.
And yes, that requires some level of patience.
plasmoske: OP can learn all that when he's single. When he fixes his own issues, then maybe he'll be ready for a relationship.
You are "demanding" his partner wait and be patient until he fixes his own problem. Yeah nah. Some people just have issues and it makes them not suitable for a relationship.
The best way to learn is from consequences.
DaHolk: >OP can learn all that when he's single. When he fixes his own issues, then maybe he'll be ready for a relationship.
The same could be said about a partner that consistently confuses "having a think about things before unleashing thoughts at them" with "the silent treatment" and there being no possible reason for someone to not immediately talk about things than punishing THEM.
>you are "demanding" his partner wait and be patient until he fixes his own problem.
Oh the waiting isn't supposed to be till the problem is fixed. Having past abuses of trust play into ones perception of the world doesn't magically end the first or second time you talked yourself from a ledge and took some time to communicate better after having a think.
The demand here is that one flawed human can't unreflectedly threaten consequences just because the other flawed human wants to take a second to avoid drama.
Because taking every moment of reflection as "willful abuse and shutting them out as punishment" isn't normal. That's "trust issues" and clinginess 101. Build around past experiences with people who DID weaponize those things against them.
The same way that internally overestimating meaning of "past chats and current interactions" is having trust issues, which one might try to avoid by taking time to reexamine the problem to try to presume the "completely normal and reasonable side of that" instead of just clamping down on "this is like those other times before", clamping down on "silence is abuse, always, like those last times" is having trust issues.
This isn't about "one flawed asshole who needs to be dumped to be perfect before even trying" vs "one perfect human being being entirely reasonable".
The idea that you can "fix trust issues" by just "not interacting till it is fixed" is absurd. Trust issues get fixed by step by step being rewarded for trusting people, instead of being punished. Or in her case, lashing out with ultimatums.
plasmoske: "Having past abuses of trust" 😂 nah this isn't even about trust issues. This is simply OP being plain jealous. And whatever is happening wasn't a once off, twice or third. OP already knows what he is doing and still does it. That's the cool part. There's no change or even an attempt to communicate with his partner. Actions have consequences. This is it. OP is free to do whatever he wants. Just don't expect his girl to be waiting around until he fixes his issues. It's just unfair on her to simply wait until he's done dealing with his issues.
DaHolk: >There's no change or even an attempt to communicate with his partner.
Where do you take that from. What is literally written there is that while he is doing it, she is already victimising herself, which then poisons the dialogue additionally. From which position NEITHER really knows how to navigate the minefield they BOTH create.
>It's just unfair on her to simply wait until he's done dealing with his issues.
It's completely fair to expect her to not externalise HER issues unreflectetly on him and creating drama either.
And it is also completely fair to allow a human to mull things over instead of automatically reading that as being victim of abuse, as if there would be no completely common ways to ACTUALLY lash out immediatly.
>"Having past abuses of trust" 😂 nah this isn't even about trust issues. This is simply OP being plain jealous.
Sure, because him openly talking about his perception is clearly cause for just discarding those as "false things" and him being the asshole. Because such a reaction clearly goes into the "opening up gets rewarded with fair and considerate feedback" pile, and not the "serves me right for being open about my feelings" pile...
It's utterly ridiculous to me that someone who is so openly hostile and dismissive is even making arguments about "abuse of others" and "need to be dumped".
Fix your own ego issues...
plasmoske: Him talking about it means he acknowledges the problem. Has he fixed it yet? No.
And it's hilarious you're making it a her problem when it's a he problem 😂
DaHolk: >Has he fixed it yet? No.
It's not going to get fixed until he gets tries at trust rewarded without immediately getting pushback for trying to avoid drama.
>And it's hilarious you're making it a her problem when it's a he problem 😂
I am making it a THEM problem. He knows why he is pulling back. And opposed to the position "this is clearly always abuse", that is trying to avoid bad outcomes. My point is "jumping to abuse" here is clearly a case of trust issues, too.
He knows that it takes too long for him to not just "take things that trigger learned problems on the chin because presumably history DOESN'T repeat itself". The solution is to be rewarded for not making drama out of it. But if the contemplation not to be dramatic itself gets the feedback of abuse, then there is no improvement. You get this type of self loathing as exhibited in the post. That's not helping, that is making it worse, based on trust issues of "people who don't talk are abusers".
There is ZERO compassion or trust going his way. How is that helping with trust issues? How is this a "him" problem only?
He isn't going on the offensive, he isn't being controlling. But he's the asshole? No. He's got issues. Everyone who has been around the block with "people" has some trust issues. Because people are shit.
The solution can't be to "just ignore" that "not talking? always abuse" is "normal" and not at all distrustful, but someone who might even have a shred of "is there a danger of being cheated on (again)" no matter the situation is "clearly broken and should not date anyone"...
It couldn't be more hostile and lobsided and lacking compassion if it tried. It's the PERFECT response to give people trust issues.
plasmoske: > I am making it a THEM problem.
So if someone is abusive, manipulative, a cheater, violent or anything, is it always going to be a couple problem or the person with the actual issues, their problem?
>There is ZERO compassion or trust going his way.
Well actually. There is zero trust going her way LOL. This is what the problem is. And she's giving her zero reaction so not even being compassionate.
DaHolk: >is it always going to be a couple problem
No?
> or the person with the actual issues, their problem?
Just because one person has some doesn't mean the other doesn't.
If the person makes "trying to figure out how to react" an offensive gesture, ignoring that "overracting outright with agressive posturing" to be the actual abuse (of which active deprival of affection attention and communication CAN be one when done with that express intent, but doesn't have to be automatically from just pulling back for contemplation)
than that is a separate issue competing with the issue of "having to deal with learned pessimism" by having an internal debate BEFORE confronting the partner in a productive communicative exchange.
If "brooding a bit" is always seen as "hostile abusive act", than that is having major trust issues in and on itself.
When two sets of trust issues collide, then that is not a "one person with issues" situation.
It's a "one person who is aware and trying his best" and "other people who aren't even trying" situation.
>There is zero trust going her way LOL
That is clearly not true, because then there would be no brooding. There would be accusing and fighting. That is what dealing with trust issues is. Talking down the experiences of the past, to be surplanted by leaning into the chance of this situation to be different. The brooding is exactly the conflict between the lack of trust in general vs the trust towards this person specifically. If the second part wasn't there, no brooding would be required.
>so not even being compassionate.
Compassionate of what? The problem of him being surprised that there was some potentially problem for him that she didn't include him into? Compassion for her not having any patience with him? He does, otherwise the post wouldn't be that lopsidedly "it's all my fault for having trust issues".
What are you talking about?
plasmoske: > "one person who is aware and trying his best"
WHERE???
DaHolk: > WHERE???
The whole OP. It's through the whole writing self accusatory to the extreme.
And I don't get why you deny the existence of non abusive pulling back. Especially because the phrasing is "shutting out" and not "punishing her with the silent treatment.
Trust issues make you overthink how to react to avoid unintended conflict. and the response that he gets is that by trying to avoid rash conflict, he gets accused of abuse and doing it punitively. There is no winning here.
The expectation just can't be that humans should consistently purge themselves of past bad experiences instead of trying to learn to not do the same mistakes over and over again.
plasmoske: >The whole OP.
He acknowledges it. Well he acknowledges it every time it happens. Yet there is no change.
>the response that he gets is that by trying to avoid rash conflict, he gets accused of abuse and doing it punitively.
What? All he has to do is communicate instead of going all quiet. This is what a healthy relationship is like. Of-course there is no winning here, because OP has the issues. Until he fixes it, there is no winning.
>The expectation just can't be that humans should consistently purge themselves of past bad experiences instead of trying to learn to not do the same mistakes over and over again.
Past bad experiences. What bad experiences are you talking about. OP hasn't been cheated on in the past or been abused. He's just being plain jealous. His actions (or rather in-actions) is why his partner is thinking the way she is.
DaHolk: >He acknowledges it. Well he acknowledges it every time it happens. Yet there is no change.
Because there is only negative feedback. Because she and her trust issues make it something it isn't.
Hence "not just his problem".
>What? All he has to do is communicate instead of going all quiet.
Spoken like someone entirely unaware of their trust issues. Communication (specifically unreflected when put under eternal stress) often results in miscommunication.
That is exactly the point of pulling back.
A) Take time to put the perceived problem into context and trying to work through whether it is being paranoid.
B) Trying to work out how to address the remaining problem in a way that it is taken honestly, and not taken out of context, misunderstood as pure accusation, or as unreflected deflection. Which considering that brooding is already seen as dealbreaker causing massive fallout leading to threats of breaking up, is very much not paranoid seems to me.
After that, should the other person not already have tilted, there would be communication about the result of the brooding.
To me it is insane to conflate "the silent treatment punishment" with "brooding". The fact that this is the result enforces why he is brooding. To avoid miscommunication. that makes it worse.
If you can't get the time to avoid miscommunication, because taking the time is already perceived as abusive, that is way more than a him problem.
>Past bad experiences. What bad experiences are you talking about. OP hasn't been cheated on in the past or been abused.
Because that is what trust issues are. It's not an innate state of being. It is the result of trust being abused. And he didn't clarify where he GOT the trust issues, that is NOT the same as there not being any. Same with lack of confidence. Easy trust and confidence are things that get beaten out of you. It's not just things that "ARE".
>His actions (or rather in-actions) is why his partner is thinking the way she is.
Sure. But where is the "why is that?". And why is she reacting to brooding that badly, if there is no reason to be untrusting of HIM?
plasmoske: > Because there is only negative feedback. Because she and her trust issues make it something it isn't. Hence "not just his problem".
lol what? You're over complicating this A LOT.
So if I were to become an asshole to you, then you react poorly to it. Does it mean that this is a us problem? No it doesn't. Me being an asshole is a me problem. She has the right to react to it. She doesn't have any trust issues.
You know what. You're actually f-d in the head with that kind of thinking LOL
See problems like this. It's a you problem. It can't be fixed. Best way to deal with situations like this to to break up.
DaHolk: > You're over complicating this A LOT.
BECAUSE I HAVE TRUST ISSUES....
Did you skip that part at the beginning?
Yes I am overcomplicating. Because my experiences have been utterly contradictive, unreasonable and lacking even TRYING to build trust.
That leads to brooding.....
It's not punitive.
>So if I were to become an asshole to you,
Except taking something that isn't meant as assholish as "clear and unquestioned punitive behavior" is already a problem.
That's the problem. The chain starts with him pulling back to avoid conflict, which is taken as hostile and agressive. which is pessimistic and lacking trust.
>You know what. You're actually f-d in the head with that kind of thinking LOL
And you are the prime cause for trust issues in other people.
> It's a you problem. It can't be fixed.
Of course it is and can. IF there was less contact with people like you, and more people who actually make an effort.
The amount of effort it takes to avoid contact with people like you, or mitigate the damage you do to others, or to try to get SOME level of empathy out of you when contact can't be avoided like getting water from a stone is exhausting.
You are STILL part of that problem though, by putting fleas into peoples ears that any instance of "maybe contemplate and have a think" is abuse. It's not. Something similar CAN be abusive, but so is actually being rash and hostile and dismissive. Like not even considering that brooding exist outside of hostile aggression.
plasmoske: That's your issue, not mine.
DaHolk: That is confusing, given the way you until this point assigned blame.
Because it would stand to reason that you are being the aggressor the same way you are seeing him as for not engaging.
It's funny that "retracting" is something to be seen as hostile and agressive and punitive. But being dismissve, unreflective and inconsiderate is clearly the recipients problems to deal with, with the responsibility shifting let alone feeling to be a contributing factor.
I'm just saying open hypocrisy is a bit of the ultimate trust killer.
plasmoske: Sorry I didn't really read your last reply. Too much gibberish nonsense.
| 21 | 158.142857 | |
1669447404 | 1669449360 | t3_z519bx | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by pranking by praking my extremely boy forward friend by making a fake ig account and messaging her
[removed]
jordanc26: I'm still trying to work out the title.
clitter-box: It's just a prak
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1669449339 | 1669510023 | t3_z51tgv | t5_2to41 | 244 | MisanthropicCeliac: TIFU by believing my neighbor's chickens were in mortal peril.
My husband (43M) and I (41F) bought our current home about 15 months ago. Our house is a split-level, so our back porch is attatched to the second story. There are mature trees on the property line that divide us from the neighbors, but now that the leaves have fallen, we can see directly into their backyard from our porch. I am a smoker, so I spend a lot of time out there.
Our neighbors got chickens this past spring. Since the leaves were already back on the trees when they arrived, we couldn't actually see the chickens until a few weeks ago. Instead of a traditional, permanent coop, they have what looks like a pull-behind trailer on wheels with a truck cap/shell as the roof. The coop is up off the ground and has ramps. The chickens have some straw as bedding, and a heatlamp for the cold nights. The neighbors have been turning the lamp on recently, and my husband and I have been having endless fun with it. Before the leaves fell completely, the red glow of the lamp looked like a portal to hell had opened in the neighbor's yard. Now that we have a full view of the coop, we can see when the lamp is on before the coop doors are closed for the night. Because of the shape of the coop and the straw bedding, it looks like a nativity scene of chickens when they all huddle up in there. When we saw a single chicken alone and illuminated under the light, we were quipping about Animal Farm monologues at open-mike night, and doing bad voice-overs as if the chicken were a comedian saying things like, "...and she said I was a *pecker*!" Needless to say, we like the chickens.
My FU happened this evening after I decided to take a nap after eating Thanksgiving leftovers for dinner. I woke up at nearly eight pm, and it was dark outside. After I got out of bed, I gathered my coat and cigarettes to go out on the porch. I groggily waved at my husband who was on the computer. I stepped outside, and glanced around before I opened whatever bullshit I was gonna look at on Reddit. Not only was the chicken coop glowing red from the heatlamp, but it was ON FIRE! I was so dazed from just waking up that I didn't trust myself. I threw open the door, and shouted to my husband, "Hey! Are the chickens on fire!? There's a fire! Are the neighbor's chickens on fire!?" He jumped up and ran towards me and the door, looked outside, and said, "Yeah! The chickens are on fire!" We ran back into the house where I was expecting my husband to grab his phone and call the husband that lives next door because I don't have their numbers. Instead, my husband just ran away from me, and down into the first level of the house without saying a word. I had been vertical for all of 90 seconds and my brain said, "Okay! I guess I'm going to the neighbor's house!".
I ran down the stairs and out my front door, and sprinted to the neighbor's front door. Their backyard is fully fenced and 6ft tall, and while I know where the gate is, I didn't think it was okay to just go through it, despite there being, you know, A FIRE! I knocked loudly and repeadedly to indicate the urgency of the situation.
Their dog was going crazy, and then their 13 year-old son cracked the door. Our exchange went like this:
Me: "Hey, (his name)! Are your chickens on fire!?"
13: "What?"
Me: "ARE YOUR CHICKENS ON FIRE!? There's a fire in your backyard!"
13: "What!?"
Thankfully, 13's dad, the next-door husband that I thought my husband was going to call, shows up at the door and wants to know what is happening. The dog is still going off, and the door has been fully opened to illuminate me in the dark, and all my disheveled, puffy-faced ass can say is, "Are your chickens on fire!?" There's a fire in your backyard! ARE YOUR CHICKENS ON FIRE!?"
Next door husband is so calm and kind. He politely informs me that yes, there is a fire in the backyard. His wife is out there with the gas firepit, so no, the chickens are not on fire.
I apologized for so rudely bursting in on their evening, and they assured me that everything is fine. I turned to go home and allow my heart rate to return to normal, when I saw my husband standing in the neighbor's driveway. He was holding the fire extinguisher from our laundry room. He had already gone through the gate and spoken to the next-door wife, knew everything was fine, and was just waiting for me. As we walked back, my husband made sure to ask me, "Hey, are your chickens on fire?"
TL;DR I thought my neighbor's chicken coop was on fire. It was their fire pit.
harleyspoison267: When I was a kid, i was zoning out looking out the sliding door while doing homework at the kitchen table. I saw smoke coming from a house behind us that has a bush by their back garage door. Soon it started turning into Moses and the burning bush. My mom ran over with her tiny extinguisher meant for small kitchen fires and put it out, and the neighbors didn't even seem that grateful. The wife went to the back door to smoke and flicked her not completely extinguished bud into the bush next to the door.
Renaissance_Slacker: I would love to know the cost to society of all the fires caused by smokers. I’m sure it’s horrific.
harleyspoison267: My fiance is from the southwest (LA originally, then many years in Phoenix), so he takes the whole cigarette thing very seriously. I live in Ohio where that stuff is pretty uncommon so people throw their butts out the car all the time and he gets so upset because that causes major fires all the time in the southwest.
SithRose: I had an old water bottle for butts even in Ohio and Kentucky because I grew up in Colorado. I get it. It bugs me too.
harleyspoison267: Oh yeah, y'all are absolutely right. It's illegal here to throw them out the window too, i just never realized the real consequences before. Most people i knew growing up threw cigs out the window at least on occasion.
SithRose: It's not something you see the consequences of so vividly in the east. Watching a single spark-shower from a malfunctioning transformer within 20 feet of me cause a 4 acre fire to start \*despite\* me trying to stop it and then grabbing as many of the people whose houses backed up onto that bit of wild space to help defend the fences while the fire department arrived when I was 12ish had a very strong effect on me.
harleyspoison267: Oh wow, I'm sorry, that sounds deeply traumatic. I look back on how i grew up with very little fire safety but we just didn't really ever *need* it, and also got lucky, I imagine.
SithRose: Well, of all the 12 year olds in the neighborhood, I was probably the best equipped for it to happen to, at least? :) (I got a lot of wilderness survival training...which included fire response.)
harleyspoison267: A wilderness explorer eh? Is your name Russel perchance?
SithRose: 😆 Let's just say that this was well before Pixar, much less UP. 😀
| 11 | 22.181818 | |
1669449839 | 1669502324 | t3_z51yuq | t5_2to41 | 12,529 | ididntmeanitbutisuck: TIFU I broke a bone and wound up preg
I was wrong
My ex bf/best friend and I have a weird relationship. We still bang and hang out a lot. He knows I am still in love with him yet doesn't pursue me. (It's a complicated situation where I have a kid from a dead ex and he wants to raise his own kids, not someone elses)
We are almost at the two year mark of our friendship/not relationship.
So I was over at his house last week and we had a couple drinks. (Kid was babysat as he doesn't want her there which is good since we drank). Well I got a bit too drunk and decided to break my foot on a wall.
I went to the doctor and the standard questions began. Obviously I needed an xray so they asked If I could be pregnant. I said probably not since my period isn't due for 5 days and they proceeded with a test. Even though I informed them I was on birth control.
Fun story birth control sucks. Low and behold I am pregnant. So not only is my foot broken after the doctor looked at it but now I am also preggo. So yeah. Oh fun story he also is absolutely against having a kid with me and will demand I have an abortion. Which I don't even know what i want at this point so I haven't told him .
I had to exclude a lot of details because we both like reddit and both happen to be at the same job.
Tldr: I broke a bone at an ex's house and found out I was pregnant.
GoodAcanthocephala95: You are a bang buddy, and he hates your kid. Why are you doing this to yourself and your child?
emelrad12: Isn't that the point tho? They are just friends with benefits. He clearly seems to have stated that, and op seems to be ok with that.
baldpatch29: Which would be fine, if she wasn't in love with him. She's only gonna end up getting hurt in the end
AaronVsMusic: I’d say she’s actively getting hurt. Dude is a demanding asshole with unrealistic expectations just using her for sex and companionship on his terms while fully aware of her emotional dynamic, who is now going to demand that she get an abortion, regardless of what she wants.
Oh, and also her foot.
Shadowak47: Nah, hes just upfront about his boundaries. If the genders were reversed everyone would be calling OP a simp and making fun of them for being like that. Besides, hes fucked now, nothing he can do. This is clearly a hookup. Hes being clear. OP isnt a friend.
TheDemonHauntedWorld: First... gross.
Second... You think a "simp" isn't actively being hurt?
> If the genders were reversed everyone would be calling OP a simp and making fun of them for being like that.
Yeah... because of toxic masculinity. No one should make fun of someone in that situation, men or women.
Just because you think it's OK to be an asshole to people of a gender... doesn't mean everyone does... or it's the correct thing to do.
You used the "If the genders were reversed" card like this shows some kinda hypocrisy from people "defending women"... but it only shows your own hypocrisy.
KiW3: > because of toxic masculinity
are you trying to imply only men would make fun of someone for being a "simp"? Seems awfully sexist of you
TheDemonHauntedWorld: Nope...
Toxic Masculinity doesn't affect only men... and aren't displayed only by men.
Both men and women can perform and reinforce Toxic Masculinity.
Maybe you should inform yourself better on what Toxic Masculinity actually is. Because you clearly don't know.
KiW3: > Maybe you should inform yourself better on what Toxic Masculinity actually is. Because you clearly don't know.
I think there are things i can spend my time better on than some concept i don't believe matters that much in the world.
TheDemonHauntedWorld: How can you believe it doesn't matter... if you don't know what it is?
It's like someone who's not good with money saying "I think there are things i can spend my time better on than some concept i don't believe matters that much in the world." when someone tells them they should learn how to invest.
Maybe... after learning what it is... you could make a better judgment one way or the other if it actually impacts the "real world"
KiW3: The sooner you realise the world is filled with people who view things with different importance than you the sooner i am sure things will start to make sense to you.
Would it surprise you if you told that i believe that there are absolutely things in this world i view as serious problems that you find trivial? Yet unlike you i don't try to stuff them down your throat thinking that you are meant to take all things i find very serious like it is the biggest problems in society.
AaronVsMusic: Here’s the thing: you’re saying you find things trivial that do active, high statistical harm to people. For you to claim you have no opinion about it is to admit that it doesn’t negatively affect you directly and you don’t care beyond that.
| 13 | 963.769231 | |
1669039103 | 1669102513 | t3_z0sgzj | t5_2to41 | 890 | Fred-ditor: She may not have lied about the open relationship. Lots of partners have a don't ask, don't tell approach to extracurricular activity. We don't know and neither does OP but that concern is totally valid and kudos to OP for noping out of it as soon as she got worried.
KeytoDestinyXIII: Yeahhhh, no. Ask any truly open/polyamorous couple and they will straight up tell you that failure to communicate will more than likely doom any attempt at being open. Here’s the first reply from a relationship advice forum on this exact topic:
“Don't ask, don't tell is an absolutely terrible way to have an open relationship. I utterly and completely refuse to engage in any sort of relationship with a person that practices this type of open relationship.
One of the most important things in any relationship is open and honest communication. I could argue that communication is the most important aspect of a good relationship. Don't ask, don't tell makes it rather difficult to talk about how people are feeling about the relationship.
From my side of it, how can I know whether a potential partner is telling the truth if they have a don't ask, don't tell open relationship. They could just as easily be lying about it.”
There’s way too many factors into this type of relationship to keep it a secret. Cheating still happens in open relationships, just because it’s open doesn’t mean you get a pass to sleep with whoever you want, when you want. There’s a reason Reddit is full of so many failures. Because they don’t adhere to that. If you can’t be open about it, don’t do it. F was willing to immediately cover it up and say that S didn’t have to know about it and even tried to be super sneaky and make sure they didn’t get caught before trying to continue the affair. That’s an immediate red flag. Even if S doesn’t have to know about who she’s with, he should at least be aware that she does it so why all the secrecy? If anything, it sounds more like F is bi-curious and doesn’t want anyone to know what she was doing because not only is she cheating, she has to come out at the same time.
notimeleftinMelbs: Great. One thing you should also realize is that different things work for different people. I was in a DADT open relationship that worked. It was more of a "I don't want to know" and the feeling was shared on her side. We generally didn't ask or tell unless asked.
Ultimately, that's what might be happening for this post. Don't be so quick to judge.
Nailbomb85: "Was in" and "worked" sounds mutually exclusive in this context...
Joe_The_Eskimo1337: No more than any other relationship that worked for awhile before things ended.
Nailbomb85: So... it didn't. Gotcha.
Joe_The_Eskimo1337: So by your definition a relationship only works when it ends in death? Okay ig.
Nailbomb85: Not necessarily death, but if you're talking about a romantic relationship, yeah, the bar is much higher than an acquantance is. If you're just fucking around for a bit and moving on, that's not a real relationship.
Joe_The_Eskimo1337: Ok, but we have no idea how long their relationship lasted.
I think you're jumping the gun assuming the relationship didn't work at all just because it didn't last till today.
Nailbomb85: You just said it didn't last, therefore it didn't work.
Sandtiger812: It can work and the relationship not last. Relationships are multifaceted one part of it doesn't define the entire thing.
They were poly it was working great, then one or both of them had to move for whatever reason and it wasn't possible to continue the relationship. Maybe one of them decided that they no longer want to be in relationships at all.
Nailbomb85: So... it didn't work.
Joe_The_Eskimo1337: A relationship isn't a total failure just because it doesn't end in death.
Do you legitimately believe every human being on earth is only capable of having a single working relationship?
Nailbomb85: All I see is a lot of idiots giving me a list of reasons why it may have failed, in order to try and convince me it didn't fail.
Joe_The_Eskimo1337: You're thinking of things too black and white.
Nailbomb85: Nope. It really is that simple. If it works, people stay together unless they're forced apart. Anything else is a failure.
| 16 | 55.625 | |
1669451038 | 1669590962 | t3_z52b8o | t5_2to41 | 48 | sushiducktrash: TIFU by accidentally flushing my $200 earphones down the toilet
(Obligation this was months ago) For Christmas last year I received a brand new pair of Samsung Galaxy Buds worth about $250 where I'm from, been my favorite pair of earphones since.
Fast forward to a pretty normal day at school. I don’t like using public toilets, especially school toilets but on this day I knew if I didn’t go I was going to have a massive problem.
So, I go to the toilet with the earphones case in the pocket of my jumper and after finishing my business I went to flush the toilet. I leaned over to flush and while watching the water spin around, I see the case fall from my pocket straight into the toilet bowl. Because I was already flushing the toilet, there was nothing I could do but watch in slow motion as my earphones got swept away from me, never to be seen again.
rip beans (2021 - 2022)
Tl;dr - I dropped my earphones into the toilet as I was flushing it
WeatherLatter1881: I dropped mine in the toilet too once my brain was like :
No!
I had to get it out
But uts toiltet water
BUT ITS MY AERPHONE
And dipped down in a second
Put it in rice
Using it today too
Curious-Wall-8644: Rice is a myth, it makes it worse. Galaxy Buds Pro are waterproof for a short time.
| 3 | 16 | |
1669455715 | 1669486071 | t3_z53lp8 | t5_2to41 | 643 | Throwaway2756655101: TIFU BY ACCIDENTALLY GETTING CPS CALLED ON MY PARENTS
Throwaway because I have family on Reddit who know my personal account.
So yeah, title explains it all, I got CPS called on my parents by accident. Obligatory this didn't happen today, but they just contacted us the other day for a full investigation.
1 (19) have had mental health issues for a long time (anxiety, depression, etc) from past traumas relating to a previous step-parent, luckily they're long gone, but my family has never been anything glamorous since.
I've always dealt with feeling unsupported, made out to be a house cleaner, as well as just a general waste of space when I was younger. My mom treats me more like a best friend than her actual daughter (allowing me to smoke weed, drink, etc, and even buying things for me) and her boyfriend does the same. Plus we've always had money issues until very very recently.
About 6-7 months ago I did a half assed attemnt at suicide (not my first) due to extremely bad mental breakdowns and depression, and I ended up admitting myself to the hospital. When I got out I got referred to a program for emergency therapy, I ended up telling that therapist some things that in hindsight, I should've never told them.
My moms boyfriend has a pretty absurd temper at times, and when I got out of the hospital (yes the exact day) he decided to initiate a yelling match about how I don't hang out with friends anymore (all my friends moved away for college), and how I should quit my job because it was clearly making me worse. Another time a week or two after that he decided to initiate another argument about how he was upset over me not taking 5 classes in my first college semester while I was working, and how saying that I didn't want to get too stressed out during my first semester was apparently threatening to kill myself to guilt my mother. That argument ended up with me crying in bed and asking my moms boyfriend to leave my room while he yelled at me saying "you don't have the fucking balls to kill your self." So I told my therapist all of the above, and some more I can't remember rn.
My family and I were living at a house where the rent was pretty pricy. It worked on a well system and sometimes when the well pump failed the landlord would take forever to fix it and so there was points where we wouldn't have running water for a week straight. Thus we relied on one of those water dispensers that use those big water jugs. Needless to say sometimes my parents would be too broke or too forgetful to buy more water for the dispenser, so we once went 1 1/2 weeks without drinking water, as the well water was full of too much water to drink. Because of the expensive rent, the food/necessity situation in the house really wasn't that good, with me having to buy groceries and even toilet paper for the house while I was trying to save for college (I also paid $400/month to help with rent). My parents also tend to ask me for money a lot, so sometimes they end up owing me $500 at a time. One time they even took my card and bought $80 worth of cigarettes on it. I told my therapist all of the above.
I also quickly and briefly mentioned that my parents sold "substances" for a bit a while back (they haven't for a couple years now) and my moms boyfriend ended up having to go to rehab for an addiction because of it. I foolishly told my therapist that as-well.
I now see that I fucked up majorly, as I thought that the therapist couldn't do anything as I was 18 at the time and I recently just realized that the age of adulthood where I'm from is actually 19 so my parents still held responsibility over me at the time as I was still considered a "child"
I ended up telling my mom that CPS was called probably because of my old therapist and the things I mentioned that were going on at the time. The email mentioned "emotional abuse" and "child neglect" and we have an in-house inspection coming soon. I just pray to god the case worker doesn't mention drugs, cause then I'm truly screwed.
TL;DR
attempted suicide, got a emergency therapist, ended up telling them about my family issues cause I thought they couldn’t do anything. They called CPS.
Edit: thank you all for your kind msgs and support! I now understand a bit more about how CPS works, but idk if my country does it differently but honestly it still probably works the same. It’s just my family is a lot better now financially compared to when I had this therapist, and I only have to lend money occasionally now. We moved to a house with clean drinking water right off the Cities water line a couple months ago, and we can afford rent and food, and are basically living the best we can! What I told my therapist (and said in the post) was the situation at our previous house. My moms boyfriend hasn’t even said anything comparing to what he said before since as well.
My confusion sure is setting in now though. I never considered my household to be a mentally abusive place since my mom split from her ex-husband. Cause if you thought this post was bad, he put me through 10x worse. Whenever I have also complained about my current living situation as well, my mom has always caught wind of it and said that i was just always overreacting, and that it always could be worse. So idk if that’s manipulation on my moms part or if it’s truly not as bad as it seems.
L31FY: You aren't the wrong one here. They mistreated you and should have done better as parents. Telling someone wasn't wrong. If something happens to them it's on them, not you. That is consequence of their actions. Nothing about the words emotional abuse or neglect is untrue if what you said is accurate. Don't try to clean up and hide stuff. Don't lie about things because you think it'll help you. If they're hurting you and doing this, that needs to stop and maybe just stop trusting them so much since they clearly don't understand what family is supposed to mean and they don't actually seem to care as long as you pay up.
Throwaway2756655101: The thing is i also have a 10 year old sibling that lives with us, and I don’t want anything to happen to them
L31FY: Is is better that they end up with emotional issues and abused? They don't just take you away. A lot happens first. Think about any of the things that you went through and if you'd want more of that for them. Probably not. Your parental figures are going to have to clean up their behavior and that's not any of your fault if they make bad choices. Those choices affected both of you and will continue to if they don't get it together.
Throwaway2756655101: They don’t treat my sibling like they treat me though, they’re practically the golden child and my mom chose to raise them right and unlike she raised me. My sibling wasn’t old enough to remember the terrible things their dad/my old step-dad did to me and my older sibling (who’s been living with my bio dad for 6 years now) so they’ve been left with no mental scars or depression, and my mom and her boyfriend baby them. At this point they’re like my moms boyfriends real child
jenkinsleroi: Based on what you said it sounds like it still is not a good environment for your sibling to grow up in.
L31FY: It definitely creates other issues even if they're sheltered from the bad things they experienced although I guarantee people hear stuff through walls or from other rooms. Kids also know way more about situations than they ever let on until someone asks usually because they're afraid they're in trouble or someone they care about is. You end up with not knowing how to take care of yourself at all and being entitled if you aren't disciplined appropriately or taught what to do and not do like if you've had it all done for you always then you simply expect it then won't grow up any. I don't think that mindset should have had a ton of time to set into someone who is ten yet so plenty of time to change that and not let it happen before they turn into a dysfunctional person due to the lack of parenting. The obvious issue still lies in that there was literally not running water and that is a basic thing anyone should have. It's not overreacting that child services is involved at all here to at least check in.
| 7 | 91.857143 | |
1669458491 | 1669464136 | t3_z54d6u | t5_2to41 | 36 | Sea_Relationship1605: TIFU by having sex with someone that had feelings for me but I didn’t have feelings for them
TL:DR, Lost my virginity to a guy who liked me and now he thinks we are dating, when I made it clear we aren’t.
I know I know, I’m totally the asshole here. I feel horrible. There was this guy that I went on a date with a couple of months ago. We spent the night together on our first date, did some things, but I realized that he wasn’t a good person so I ended up cutting things off with him. The thing is, he told me multiple times he was obsessed with me and stuff. I ended up texting him that I didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t ready for it Val bla bla, totally avoiding the truth which was the at I thought he wasn’t a good person and didn’t see myself spending the rest of my life with him (I know, hypocritical considering I’m not being a good person here). As months pass, I forget about his personality as we only met once, and I saw him posting on his story and he looked really attractive, so I swiped up and told him that. So today he calls me and invites me over. Now the thing is, I was a virgin. When he invited me, I was hoping to give him a second chance,, but he was the whole time making me feel bad about dumping him in the first place, and how he suffered a lot from it. Somehow, we get intimate, but it starts a frustrating cycle of us getting affectionate, and then him saying how I’m a piece of shit and how I fucked him over. Oh keep in mind, he was trying to get me to drink the whole time, constantly pressuring me, which I denied. As the cycle continues, I tell him I’m about to leave, and how I don’t want to do intimate things with him anymore as he is getting pretty drunk and I don’t wanna SA him as I’m sober. He tells me that he’s a heavy weight and he’s just tipsy, and that he’ll tell me if he feels uncomfortable. One thing leads to another, and boom we have sex. Thing is, right after that, as I was leaving, he kept calling me his boyfriend and wants me to meet his Family tomorrow! It caught me off guard as I told him multiple times I didn’t want to start a relationship right away, and wanted to get to know him first. I don’t want to break his heart again, but I never said that we were datin. We only hung out twice ffs! Idk how to break it to him. I shouldn’t have swiped up on his story, let alone hook up with him. I totally fucked up
seylavee: I am so confused. You spent the night together on your first date and you didn't sleep together?
Kat1eQueen: You can sleep at someones place and in the same bed without sex
seylavee: Guys are pretty simple minded. If the person you like offers sex, we'll pretty much think that the feeling is reciprocated. Tell him clearly that the sex was just that and you want nothing more.
Considering his 'obsession', cutting ties with him both irl and online would be your best bet.
Kat1eQueen: Why are you saying that to me? Im not op
paradajz666: No you tell him that! Lmao
| 6 | 6 | |
1668322175 | 1668444173 | t3_ytu6rr | t5_2to41 | 5,381 | ConfidentBirthday523: TIFU by telling a customer that I enjoyed eating their food
Last week, I(17f) got into an argument with a customer because I couldn’t put extra lettuce in their sandwich as it was written right in front of his eyes(there’s a shortage). He started screaming, calling me a bitch and that my manager waesnt a whore like I am (he is a regular). I just sighed "well I think that’s it for today" as I putted his sandwich aside, leaving him without his food(he didn’t pay for it yet) and he came by today to buy a sandwich. When he saw me he started screaming again that he didn’t want me to do it. Before I left to clean in the backstore, I just looked at him and said "Please next time take something else it tasted like shit, but thanks for the free sub". I might be in trouble for saying that because I was supposed to give him a second chance. Even if I get fired or grounded for this, I enjoyed eating that sandwich while he was starving. 10/10, would do it again.
TL;DR : TIFU because I provoked a customer and I might get yelled at/ fired for this
Edit: sorry, English ain’t my first language. I tried to make that better as someone said in the comments. Thank you for taking some time to read this!
Edit #2: didn’t think this would end on TikTok/YouTube shorts! But hey I ain’t gonna lie since I saw that this post got quite popular I checked those non stop lmao I just get happy to see that people appreciate em :)
JayeAus: I own a small coffee van as a side hustle. My staff get three free "fuck offs" a year. The customer is NOT always right.
DemDem77: One of the best (and funnily put) policies I've read 😂
LUFCSteve: One company I used to work for allowed you two “I feel too good to come to work today” days….. rules were that firstly, you had to have the availability in you paid time off/vacation bank and secondly that there was no special event/meeting/ sales drive or whatever that it could be inferred you are avoiding, oh and thirdly you were not avoiding work or a deadline that must be completed that day either by yourself or with you as part of a team. Basically if it were a normal nothing special work day and that it wouldn’t make things harder for your colleagues or screw up the company targets then go ahead if you feel you want a day at the beach/playing golf/fishing/staying in bed and making love with your partner.
A much appreciated gesture from the company.
NecessaryPen7: That's literally what most paid days of are.
A company telling their employees they're great because they allow you to do what you want on your paid day off is not the gesture you think, it's a red flag.
At least as you've described it.
aorshahar: Paid days off you generally have to ask for in advance, what he described was the employer being ok with basically calling in and saying your playing hookie today
NecessaryPen7: Which sounds almost toxic, to call it generous. I don't recall having a job where I couldn't call out the same day using paid time off.
aorshahar: I don't think your getting the difference between sick time and paid time off and what's at discussion here
NecessaryPen7: Vast majority of employers - they're the same. Paid time off, doesn't matter the reason.
| 9 | 597.888889 | |
1667749084 | 1667778638 | t3_yntana | t5_2to41 | 2,143 | LitheOfFoot: TIFU by getting dragged by my husband across the globe
[removed]
frankie08: These abbreviations are getting out of hand. What is a SAHM?
fairiesnnicesprites: Stay at home mom (SAHM) is a very common abbreviation on social media, especially here on Reddit
borkborkbork69: First time I've ever seen it
hangfromthisone: Welcome to the daily 10.000 people group that learn something new every day
prob_wont_respond: That doesn't make it "common". I bet on certain subreddits it is very common
hangfromthisone: Its on ubran dictionary since 2004
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=sahm
I'd say its common enough
FYR: https://xkcd.com/1053/
FYR -> for your reference
prob_wont_respond: As the internet and reddit aren't a monolithic group, I bet many folks haven't seen it before. As I said in some groups I bet it is very common.
hangfromthisone: I'm sure the term had been in use for decades. Even before internet existed.
prob_wont_respond: Cool, glad your circle used it. All that means is that you are familiar with it, I'm just saying others may not be familiar. Never safe to assume and initilism or acronym is known by all readers.
This is classic professional coaching to not lay in these things without defining them first, because even ones you think are common place may not be understood by all, or may only be common in a particular circle.
| 10 | 214.3 | |
1669461838 | 1669464678 | t3_z55aer | t5_2to41 | 58 | cornshower: TIFU by eating popcorn
[removed]
ADG211: What the fuck
TIFU by reading this
Devittraisedto2: I should've stopped reading after I saw scat fetish
NerdBudiezV1: This is why you always read the tldr and/or comments first. +Ratio
| 4 | 14.5 | |
1669443383 | 1669478223 | t3_z5025t | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to scare my family on Thanksgiving
[deleted]
InevitableEmotion870: Hey sport that wasn't a good stunt was it? Your grand ma could have a heart attack or broke her bones falling off her chair.
While it was good for Halloween, it was inappropriate a stunt for Thanks giving.
hexahdonn: I understand that now
InevitableEmotion870: Right on Sport, you're good.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1667775116 | 1667778337 | t3_yo5gcb | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by using the frog emoji as a crying emoji
[deleted]
Citadelvania: ...wait why exactly do you think the frog emoji is crying? I don't think anyone else will understand that's what you mean.
Like if I started saying "ecstatic" instead of sad and someone told me something and I responded "wow you must be so ecstatic" no one would think I meant sad... you can't just make up stuff and expect people to have any idea what you're talking about.
Further "mental health discord" sounds like a pretty weird possibly toxic environment. Just because you have mental health issues doesn't mean you should only be around other people with mental health issues. In fact, sometimes that can cause further issues.
You should really speak to a therapist about all this if you haven't already.
daddymason69420: Like you just read the title and make assumptions
daddymason69420: I am trying to get over the fact that I ruined my social life and you are here making it worse
daddymason69420: Maybe even more
| 5 | 2 | |
1667780669 | 1667813615 | t3_yo7jv3 | t5_2to41 | 14,173 | Commercial_Low1383: TIFU by expecting my family to pay for my birthday dinner LAST update
Link to original post on my account: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ykkemb/tifu_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Second update: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ym3ndw/tifu_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I appreciate everyone reaching out. I tried to respond to everyone but I awoke with 500 messages.
I am still at my families house. For more information, my mom has been receiving social security for me since I was eight. It was about 800-900$ a month. This money helped pay rent, get food for the house, etc. My mom tried convincing me to allow her to be my guardian, when I refused to sign anything, I had a evaluation done which included a IQ test, and some basic questions. The whole time my mother would try to lie saying I couldn’t take care of myself, to the point when the psychiatrist got mad at her and sent her out. I think my mom may have Munchausen syndrome. Im not sure and I’m not gonna diagnose her. My stepdad, is not an asshole and is actually way nicer to me than my mom. In fact my stepdad tried putting aside cash for me for when I came of age but my mom wouldn’t let him. My half brother is a lot like my mother personality wise. Always takes her side on everything, never went to college, and doesn’t have a job.
For my mother’s context, (this doesn’t excuse her actions) she has bipolar disorder. However, she blames her disorder for everything. She will say the rudest thing to you and cut you down to your core. Then the next day pretend everything is fine and never talk about it. If you try to bring it up she says I was having an episode.
I understand I have a disability. But it’s a disability that I can live with. I’ve been going to therapy for anxiety and have been doing a lot better than I used to be.
I don’t know what my future holds, I’m trying to look for a job and places to stay at the moment. When I’m able to leave I’m cutting my mom out of my life. My stepdad I’ll stay in contact with, my stepbrother maybe if he can escape my moms influence.
I’ve been severely manipulated, and emotionally abused. I see that now, reflecting on everything. To think, this all started with a birthday dinner I couldn’t have. I’m thinking about contacting my biological dads family, he left when I was younger and I haven’t had contact with his family sense. My mom always told me they didn’t want to see me but then again that could’ve been a lie too.
Hope this answered any questions you had. This will be my last update, thank you all for supporting my through this journey, I don’t wanna clog up tifu
If you’d like to offer advice or anything please message me. I will read every message ❤️
TLDR: mom is bipolar, brother has her personality, stepdad is okay, gonna reach out to biological dads family
Reddit-username_here: Just FYI, your mom was trying to prove a point that "you couldn't take care of yourself" by trying to make you pay for your own food. She knew you didn't have the money, and she doesn't want to lose that social security check. That's what this entire thing is about, that fucking $800-$900 a month.
I'd cut her out of my life too. Good luck to you!
redditingatwork23: Currently getting about $700 a month for my son with autism. If one day he no longer qualifies I'm going to throw a fucking party lol.
Reddit-username_here: I wasn't trying to disparage the social security payment. But from her actions as a whole, it's pretty clear she wants to keep that money at all costs.
redditingatwork23: That was my take as well.
holydragonnall: You don't think she was spending any of that money on food for OP to eat, clothes for OP to wear, luxuries like a computer and a phone and Internet access for OP to use? You're a parent, you know raising a child isn't cheap, especially if they have extra challenges like autism, and it's not like they require less money as they age, especially if they can't work.
I really feel like everyone here is jumping on the 'evil mother' train and just ignoring reality completely, that reality being that they're certainly better off at home than trying to make it on their own without any life skills.
AntManMax: >I really feel like everyone here is jumping on the 'evil mother' train
Maybe because his mother is fucking evil? Like, sure, if you can't support your adult child once the SSI checks dry up, then you have no obligation to continue to support them, but to invite them to a birthday dinner then expect them to pay as a lesson on "responsibility" is straight up *demonic.* There are healthy ways you can tell your kid to start pulling their own weight.
holydragonnall: At no point did I ever say she’s not a crazy bitch. What I’m saying is people are jumping on that train and riding away, telling this person who certainly has no resources to leave home. You really think a homeless shelters a better life than living with a shitty mother? Of course you cherry picked half a sentence to complain about and completely ignored the IGNORING REALITY part.
AntManMax: >You really think a homeless shelters a better life than living with a shitty mother?
Depends.
>Of course you cherry picked half a sentence to complain about and completely ignored the IGNORING REALITY part.
What reality are they ignoring? You don't know any more or less than the rest of the thread lmfao.
holydragonnall: > You don't know any more or less than the rest of the thread lmfao.
Here's what I know from the first post and this post:
1. OP has never had a job and has no money saved up.
2. OP has, in their own words, 'high-functioning autism' although if their mom was getting government assistance because of their autism then they're probably overstating their ability to function in society.
3. OP cannot read social queues at all.
4. OP is blindly accepting the advice of the Internet and planning on forging out on their own despite having no social skills, no job skills, no money, and no safety net.
5. OP has such bad anxiety that they can't order food at a restaurant.
6. OPs mom is probably not a great person, but WAS supporting OP for years with money given by the government and clearly furnished OP with at least a decent lifestyle, seeing as how they have Internet access and either a computer or phone to use it.
Oh and:
>> You really think a homeless shelters a better life than living with a shitty mother?
>Depends.
No, it doesn't. I've been in a homeless shelter, and I had a physically and mentally abusive stepfather. I'd still rather have been at home than at that fucking shelter, trying to sleep with all my shit in my cot, tied to my body with my spare pants so no one could try and steal it.
AntManMax: >Here's what I know from the first post and this post
Okay so you summed up the post but their mother is still an abusive asshole and they're likely better off without that sort of leech in their life. You seemed to have missed the fact that OP is no longer considered dependent and can likely have a decent quality of life on their own (being anxious in restaurants isn't a sign of needing a full time caretaker)
>No, it doesn't
Yes, it does.
>I've been in a homeless shelter, and I had a physically and mentally abusive stepfather. I'd still rather have been at home than at that fucking shelter, trying to sleep with all my shit in my cot, tied to my body with my spare pants so no one could try and steal it.
That was your situation. Unless I missed something and you're the ambassador for people growing up in abusive households, your anecdote really has nothing to do with what I said.
holydragonnall: Holy god, you really are the pro of replying to the least relevant part of any given comment.
| 12 | 1,181.083333 | |
1669467664 | 1669472465 | t3_z5712v | t5_2to41 | 130 | Lunatic976: TIFU, I accidentally spilled my aunt's dead pet's urn
So... My hands are still literally shaking, LOL.
A few hours ago, I volunteered to sweep the living room of my grandma's house. I want to note that my grandma's house is a few walks away from the beach. There's gonna be a birthday party tomorrow for my aunt, who also lives there. I broomed the floor first before I used a wet floor mop. I didn't mind mopping as I didn't have anything else to do earlier.
Then, my two younger cousins, both under the age of 10 were running around the living room, disrupting what I was doing. I had to stop in between to scold them. Their older sister, a 15-year-old, was supposed to watch them but she was too busy on her phone. After a few minutes of constantly scolding them, the kids eventually stopped and rushed outside to the beach, with their sister following after them.
So there I thought I had fewer problems to think about. Turned out, I didn't notice I made a puddle in the corner of the living room that I have not mopped yet. I then accidentally stepped on it and to no surprise, I slipped. Well, I kept my balance as I was able to lean on the wall to my side, but my left arm went rogue and accidentally pushed a metal vase.
I thought it was a metal vase.
It took me a second to realize the vase I pushed was heavy and it had something inside. My heart skipped a beat. I immediately checked the vase on the floor. Note, the vase didn't break, but the lid was open. At first, I thought it was my grandfather's cremation urn, but upon reading the embossed label on the vase, it turned out to be Blackie's. Blackie was a black Labrador who passed away when I was in college. Blackie was my aunt's dog, her beloved 'son' as she is not married and has no kids.
When I checked the vase, almost half of the ashes came out and scattered on the floor. Thinking quickly, I immediately wiped the vase and tried to scrape the remaining ashes to the vase. I then gently placed it back on the side table in the corner. After that, I grabbed my mop and wiped the floor clean. It took me longer to clean the rest of the mess as the floor in the living room was tiled with white marble.
I discreetly cleaned my mop in the backyard and made sure I left no traces of the ashes. Then, I grabbed an empty can and went to the beach.
Yes, you guessed it. I scooped some sand from the beach and added it to the vase. I figured my aunt would notice the change in the weight of the vase as I know she wipes it from time to time. Then, I gave it a mix, to make sure the original ash was on top. After the whole ordeal, I cleaned myself up. The paranoia in me made me clean the mop one more time an hour after the accident. I also checked the floor and it is spotless now. I am sure no one saw me as my aunt was busy setting up the beachfront, while my uncles were fixing the lights outside.
Right now I am typing this, my aunt has not noticed yet, and I don't want her to know this because it's her birthday tomorrow. I will definitely give you guys an update, if ever. Please pray for me.
TL, DR: Accidentally spilled my aunt's pet urn, and quickly added sea sand to compensate for the weight... the day before her birthday.
Edit: grammar
I_am_Guy_Incognito: Hey cartographer, you want to go through and proofread the story one more time. You had “mapping” down instead of “mopping.” Good luck to you though. Hopefully she’ll never know.
Lunatic976: Thanks, will edit. English is not my first language, forgive me.
Shenanigamii: No worries on the spelling and some use of words. You did great. To aid in your english language skills, when you use a broom, we use the term "sweep" or while you are actively using the broom in the present tense, its "sweeping". When used in past tense, its "swept".
If Blackie is the dogs actual name, i would change it...that girl you mentioned might be a redditor and the amount of time spent on the phone could oust you if and when she finds this post. Change the name of the dog to "her most beloved dog" as most of us would understand that thats what the ashes are from...the dog.
Good luck OP. Enjoy your holidays and that birthday party. Dont say anything and dont act strange....act like you belong. If you act strange, people will figure something is going on.
| 4 | 32.5 | |
1669468878 | 1669469413 | t3_z57fon | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my family hear me say I'd eat a kitten raw out of context
[deleted]
Leather_Librarian986: Not that deep, just explain the joke if you need to and all good
IamaLuna-tic: I TRIED TO AND IT MADE THEM THINK I WAS CRAZIER
Leather_Librarian986: Wth lol? Sorry to hear that you gotta boring family 😂! Not sure where you go next I’m afraid
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1667797348 | 1668018915 | t3_yodafd | t5_2to41 | 723 | secretaccountlol99: tifu by wearing ripped jeans. TW
tw selfharm and relapsing mentioned.
so tifu by wearing ripped jeans,
a few weeks back i (17f) relapsed with my struggles to self harm. it’s cold out so hiding it was fairly easy because pants and long sleeves is what literally everyone is wearing right now.
my younger sibling (13f) was away on a camp retreat this weekend, from friday night - sunday evening, my parents invited me to come with them to pick up my sibling and then go to my grandparents to spend some time together as we rarely see them. i agreed and decided to throw on some ripped jeans a classic t-shirt and a warm sweater, i was unaware that one of the rips directly exposed my scars when sitting down/bending my knee.
we were enjoying a casual conversation and playing family games when my sister came and sat beside me pointing at my leg and asked “what’s that?” i played it off as i fell on pavement and fucked up my leg , obviously my sibling isn’t that gullible and knew i was not being truthful, she looked at me with concerned eyes but didn’t pry me to explain myself , a couple minutes passed and in a low tone she asked to watch a movie with me when we got home, thats not unusual as me and my sister are close and as her older sibling she’s constantly asking to spend time together. but i knew she knew.
on the car ride home she kept grabbing my hand and looking out the window, we stopped at the grocery store and my dad got out and i noticed my sibling crying. all she said was “ugh, i don’t know whats got into me” she then wiped her tears let out a sigh and asked what we were gonna watch once we were home, i told her we would pick together as i didn’t have any thing in mind. its quiet for awhile until they randomly blurt out “i love you , you know that right? i love you so much” and i ofc told her “yeah i know, i love you too” but i knew why she was saying that. and once we were home she was being overly nice and kept telling me i was her favourite person at home.
i know she means well and i know i shouldn’t be ashamed of my scars but it kills me seeing people worry about me, because i feel as though im letting them down because i know im not giving them the person they want back. so yes tifu, by wearing ripped jeans.
TL;DR : i wore ripped jeans today, my sister noticed my scars which made her visibly upset as she knows i’ve struggled in the past with selfharm
AlfonsoEggbertPalmer: No, whats effed up here is you cutting yourself - which is not logical. How does harming your one and only body solve anything? Have a pow wow with your sister and parents and ask if they'll pay for you to get some counseling.
Skye-DragonGirl: >which is not logical.
Feelings are not logical. That's why they're feelings.
AlfonsoEggbertPalmer: Don't allow your feelings to control you.
Follow Truth and obey its dictates.
"*Know also that wisdom is like honey for you: If you find it, there is a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off*." (Proverbs 24)
| 4 | 180.75 | |
1669470249 | 1669472095 | t3_z57w0u | t5_2to41 | 31 | Diglis: TIFU by drinking
ig you could say this is a yesterday I fucked up, but here we go. so yesterday we planned on having thanksgiving dinner with my family. some things happened and it got canceled, so I went back to my college, got some alcohol, and drank so much I blacked out and woke up in a jail cell. apparently I was screaming and making a lot of noise so someone called university police and I was arrested. oh, and I was vomiting all over the cop. I am only facing possession of alcohol as a minor (I'm 19), but still it sucks so bad. I've been wretching for hours, my head and arms hurt, I have cuff marks, and all around just feel awful. not in a hangover kind of awful, just mentally awful. my court date is in January, and I have no clue what kind of fine I'll be facing. luckily the people in the jail were nice and tried to get me out as soon as I came to.
tldr: drank too much, blacked out, got arrested.
That_Which_Lurks: You're far from the first college student to drink too much. I had to have my stomach pumped back in the day. The cops thought I was on PCP because I was so violent while blackout drunk. Broke 2 teeth face planting on ice. Woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed...
Take it seriously when you go to court, and it shouldn't be too bad.
I've learned to change the way I drink as I've gotten older and this is no longer a problem for me.
Diglis: Holy shit that sounds like hell. luckily I wasnt necessarily violent, just really loud.
and yeah I hope I don't get too big of a fine for that. the cops were saying since it was my first offense and I wasn't driving or in public then I should be fine.
That_Which_Lurks: Lol, I felt absolutely awful...
You've had a nasty wake up call as well, but it sounds like it could have a been a lot worse. Take your licks and take it to heart. If you dont want to be back in this situation again, you'll likely need to be a little more self aware when you're drinking.
Diglis: oh yeah I'm not gonna touch alcohol in a long while, if ever again at all. waking up handcuffed in a jail cell, covered in vomit and severely dehydrated is not something I wanna do again haha. I'll probably just stick to weed. alcohol is a pain in the ass
That_Which_Lurks: Whatever works for you. Best of luck!
| 6 | 5.166667 | |
1667802857 | 1667821378 | t3_yoeybu | t5_2to41 | 17,489 | Effective_Fan_5648: TIFU by calling an entire table of black men "boys"
Relevant: im white.
I was just starting to wait tables, and had a table of black men. I had been watching a lot of the show Trailer Park Boys. If you've never sen the show, they call the others in their group "boys" all the time. "How we doing boys", "good to see you boys", "boys, we gotta do this" etc. I was such a fan I started saying some of the things they say because I thought it was funny.
Enter table of black men. I go to them, and without really looking or thinking, I say "what can I get you to drink, boys?" I look up and see who's there and say, "ah fuck, I didn't mean it like that!"
Thankfully after some deer in the headlights staring from me they started laughing, I apologized for any misunderstanding and from then on the experience was great for them, and I made some new regular customers. Not a crazy story, but I was very close to being branded a racist
TL:DR called a group of black men "boys", but thankfully they knew I didn't mean it like that
Jumanjoke: Oh come on is that racist ? How ?
Effective_Fan_5648: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/yoeybu/comment/ivdxpnu/ explained here. It's not common anymore thankfully, but black people are well aware of the connotation as was I, which is why it's a fuckup.
tisnik: I'm starting to think that even looking at black person is considered racist in USA...
internetfugitive: You’re practically right. Thank you for providing some logic in this extremely ridiculous thread.
tisnik: As a European, I can say that I simply don't care about someone's race. If you're polite enough, I don't have problem with you. If you're a jerk, I'll hate you no matter how you look like...
It's SO stupid to see racism in everything...
BasketballButt: “As a European”…just gonna ignore black soccer players getting grunted at and having bananas thrown at them during matches by crowds? Or the open use of fascist salutes at some matches? Either way, as an American, the word boy has a centuries old context in regards to Black men in this country and is still used as a “know your place” term by certain types.
tisnik: I've never heard that "boy" is racist. But I've been told multiple times that I'm a whitie and therefore should shut up. So...
I didn't say there are not any racists here. But in USA, being racist and being offended by everything is a national sport.
BasketballButt: So because you’ve never heard of it all the way across the Atlantic, it’s not a real thing? I’m an American with a chunk of family from the Deep South and “boy” is still a fairly commonly used term to demean Black me to thisb day in a lot of places. Also, who is calling you whitey and telling you to shut up? And what bearing does that have in whether another a racist term in another country is a real thing?
tisnik: I've spent basically last 7 years on American Twitter and Instagram. I was called many, many slurs and insults and I've seen many slurs and insults. I can say that I know majority of things you can tell someone in USA or be called by someone in USA.
And yes, the thing that even "boy" is racist is a surprise. I thought Americans can't be more bizarre than they already are.
BasketballButt: There’s an American specific Twitter and instagram? Or are you assuming that everyone you’ve had these interactions with are Americans? Either way, what does any of this have to do with another country’s slur words? I know, for instance, that in the UK both “p@ki” and “w@g” are considered slurs, here they mean nothing, but I’m not gonna tell someone else they’re not slurs and to stop overreacting just because they don’t mean the same thing here. That would be asinine and ignorant.
| 11 | 1,589.909091 | |
1667798173 | 1667876348 | t3_yodjnf | t5_2to41 | 8 | Standard_Paper_525: TIFU by realizing I’m a lesbian too late
So to start, I (non-binary; Assigned female at birth) started dating my now boyfriend (let’s call him R) a few days ago. In the past, me and him had a lot of chemistry, constantly talking and flirting, leading to a long on-and-off going out situation. Though we ended up as really good friends.
Later ending both this friendship and on-and-off due to him dating and getting into a large amount of drama with a close friend.
Since this has happened it has been a few months, and we have gotten closer.
A couple weeks back, R started generally getting closer to me and being more physical again. Which I took as a win due to missing his friendship.
Then less than a week back, R pulls me aside from a small group and tells me he misses the relationship we had. Kissing me in the process. Though in the moment I didn’t agree to date him, I kissed him back and later walked him away from the group to his car, with one other friend (Man; let’s call him Z) in tow.
When we were walking him to his ride, he leans into me and without thinking, I assume he is going to kiss me again and kiss him, before saying bye and walking away with Z.
Z is shocked, and asks me what happened and I briefly explain before brushing it off. I go home, and am slightly shocked by what happened but more confused. I have always identified as bisexual(more privately omnisexual), and while I had feelings for R in the past, not leading into much physical behavior, I had lost all of these.
That night, R asks me to go out again, saying we don’t have to be serious and we could simply be more of friends-with-benefits. Me and R were just becoming friends again, so out of fear of losing him I agree.
Now this is the fuck up, the next morning I see him as I usually do every weekend. He pulls me aside from our friends, takes me to a bathroom and begins to kiss me. Without thinking, I pull away and say, “Ew.” He obliged, and then asks why I said that. I tell him that I was just kidding and wasn’t serious, he kisses me again, before we walk back in to our friends.
I have no clue what he told them, but nobody was shocked to see us walk in again. I spent the rest of the day avoiding him in the group, leaving early with a friend (let’s call her A) and telling her what happened.
You might ask, what was the fuck up? After this situation, I think that I am a lesbian…
A says it wasn’t my fault, I didn’t know and he can’t blame me. But I am scared to ruin any sense of relationship we may have. I really valued his friendship, but he is the only guy I’ve ever had feelings for in the past, leading me to believe I am simply a lesbian.
Plus, A pointed out I never thought kissing girls was gross, so why would R be the exception?
Either way, since I’m not entirely sure, consult with her and a couple (meaning around 4 including A) more friends who either don’t know R, or have been long time friends.
Anyway, it gets slightly worse, while I am avoiding R, Z (remember him?) decides to tell multiple close friends of mine about me and R getting together. Leading to R being congratulated by many people for I guess landing a quote on quote, “girlfriend.”
R began to text me asking when I told Z and asking where I went. I tell him I left early and now he wants to see me tomorrow. I tell him I am busy, he begins flirting and says good night? and that is the last update I have.
I don’t know how to tell him I think I’m a lesbian without crushing him, I don’t want to ruin the friendship we have but I’ll never enjoy being his friend-with-benefits especially if there are future benefits he wants. I am not 100% sure so I will wait a bit longer, but how do I end a relationship without without breaking him? I’ll update if my feelings change or if I break off with him.
TLDR: Today I fucked up by realizing I am a lesbian after agreeing to be with a man, and now everyone knows I am “dating” him.
Historical_Ad_927: if you’re a “non-binary” lesbian wint that mean u like other “non-binaries”
Gerald_Bostock_jt: Don't overthink it
No_Love_1353: I figure historical ad is overthinking it less than OP is.
| 4 | 2 | |
1669471594 | 1669516780 | t3_z58cm2 | t5_2to41 | 6 | destructionaljunko: TIFU by eating in a grade 2 classroom
Its all true. 2nd graders destroyed our lives. For context, I(13M) decided to tell my friend(12F) if we could eat in the 2nd graders classroom. Yes we are in grade 7 and i just made this account to share this. When we get there, we sit on the teachers chair, and all of a sudden they start circling us. While we eat, I whisper to her that this was a bad idea and im a bitch for suggesting this. She shoved a hand in my face while the little demons kept asking us questions like "Who are you?" "Why are you here?" "Are you khloe's friends?" and what-not. Now, heres the silly part. They all started screaming, and being really loud for some reason, which we changed to a different corner of the room. But they thought we were THREATS. So they followed us, and chased after us as my friend drags me around while running from them. But then it gets so bad that their screams are just like shrieks from an urban myth. It was like a black friday stampede. Now, we try to make it out, but they blocked the door with their tiny little bodies. So, they proceeded to keep screaming at us(at first, they were playing simon says, and this little girl who was very kind told us to say simon says or else they wont follow us. So we did that with "Simon says quiet!" and they all started shrieking.) Another part i remember is when my friend was on the teachers chair and beside her was a box of food, and this little goblin told her to get it. She reluctantly agreed. Then she started screaming; "TEACHER!!!!KINUKUHA NIYA YUN PAGKAIN!!(teacher!!shes taking the food!)" like 8x. She put it back and continued eating her own food, now we after we wanted to go back outside but they formed a crowd around us, and didnt let us through until 3 little girls opened the door for us and screamed 'GO!! GO GO!!" like it was a battlefield. A zombie apocalypse where 3 people are bitten and before they turn, they let their bodies get eaten. True queens. So we get out, and a few minutes later we decide to go back in. Now, this time we sat in the back on their shoerack, while talking a kid tugged on a part of my jacket so my arm was out. But then, they all started dragging my poor friend infront of the whiteboard. I watched as they proceeded to grab every limb on her body and pull. They were tearing her apart. And i couldnt do anything about it, i just stood there watching while feeling absolutely nothing at all as they ripped her. She was crying(fake crying). So i decided to sit next to her while putting my arms around my legs. Also, a child asked her to open her apple juice for her. She did, but then they went back to dragging her feet..from her words of experience, "ang lakas ng isang babae!(that one girl was so strong!)". They didnt do anything to me, they were targetting her. But then I realize we're in a circle and we're getting sacrificed to Jesus Nazareth, arent we?oh dear lord it was like a death penalty. So, in the middle of our execution, a girl hands me apple juice like "here!" and yes i say thank you because i am a polite independant man, but then heres the real shit, a girl sits next to us(right beside my friend), and apologizes because they're being noisy. Clearly being not okay we say "its alright", no it was not alright. Our eardrums were getting destroyed. But then a child gets stuck, so we stand up to inspect, so their teacher comes and asks why are we here, my friend says she lost her handkerchief(reason we went back the 2nd time) and came to look for it. When T asked us again, why were we here in the first place, we made a blank lie about "we heard screaming and thought something was happening" so yeah. We brought the little girl to the clinic, went back to class. Gave our other friend(khloe) a glare. Im typing this on a saturday and whatever happened, happened yesterday. I still have vivid flashbacks of my friend getting dragged by them.
TL;DR: suggested we should eat in the elementary building and got wrecked by 7 year olds
zekrysis: Does your mom know you're on reddit?
destructionaljunko: yes surprisingly, they're 🚁 parents and i had to ask permission to download the app and post abt this
| 3 | 2 | |
1667795507 | 1667826762 | t3_yocph6 | t5_2to41 | 50 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking up a mans reddit user name
[deleted]
koozy407: Idk man, if my SO looked up any of my social media I wouldn’t care. I wouldn’t care if they looked through my phone. I’ve never understood people who get upset by this. I also have nothing to hide. Idk. If my SO felt they want to look through my phone I would let them then we would sit down and talk about what is making them feel the need to do that.
SeneInSPAAACE: ALL of the difference is in whether they have permission or not. Doing so without permission is a huge breach of confidence and trust.
koozy407: Idk I guess I just don’t feel that I have anything to hide so it’s not a big deal to me.
andrewta: Not having anything to hide isn’t the point, and it should never be the point. Privacy is a right.
It’s whether or not looking at someone’s social media crosses a line into snooping, AND the way that you find their social media was by normal means..
I’d say no it doesn’t.
It’s public info.
No different then asking a friend “is this person trustworthy? Should I be around them?”
Now if in order to find that username required sneaking a look at someone’s phone or computer , and accessed the persons phone (or account) without permission then it is absolutely crossing a line.
koozy407: I would argue it really depends on the relationship and how the boundaries are set up. What might be snooping to you may not be to me.
| 6 | 8.333333 | |
1669477611 | 1669811805 | t3_z5ajct | t5_2to41 | 118 | _hr0waway1121: TIFU by lying to my friends about starting a podcast
Ive been kinda lonely and no matter what I do I cant get my friends to hang out or do anything besides playing video games or going on discord. They refuse to go to a bar, a park or just even get dinner. I floated the idea of doing a podcast with them but insisted we do it in person. They really liked the idea and accepted the in person condition. We have gotten together 4 times and have had an incredible time. Meaningful, engaging conversations with everyone contributing and having a good time.
I didn't tell them I wasn't actually recording it, and no intention to actually produce it. I just told a white lie to get all of us together. Now they are asking when I am going to "finish editing" and release the first couple of episodes. Even if I wanted to change my mind and release it, I didn't actually record anything and have nothing to edit and release. I am not sure what to do from here, I just really don't want to lose what we have. They don't seem like they want to meet again until they can hear some of the product. Throwaway for obvious reasons.
TL/DR - I lied to my friends saying I was going to record a podcast just to get them together in person and talk with no intention of recording or releasing a podcast.
BaggyBadgerPants: That's a really manipulative way to get people to spend time with you and that's not healthy. If this is any indication of typical behavior for you it might be a clue as to why your group has an aversion to being around you.
I would recommend coming clean to them. State why you did it. If they don't immediately cut ties then take the opportunity to ask them why they never seem to want to get together.
ShoeProb: Nah some of my friends are the same. They would just rather sit and play videogames all day. Almost impossible to get them out of the house
Hxbib: dude, fr, games aren’t even fun nowadays so we just do fukin nothing all day
Traditional-Eagle191: I think you may be depressed bro
Hxbib: just an avid cod fan who hates the direction the game is going in and doesn’t have any other fps to play lol
cod has a gorilla grip on the arcade shooter market and they haven’t made a good game since bo3
| 6 | 19.666667 | |
1667848587 | 1667892196 | t3_yox5hg | t5_2to41 | 863 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my boyfriend almost lose consciousness
[deleted]
Lumpy-Ad-3201: So...I don't care how good you are, this is a concerning my abnormal event. It could actually signal a silent heart issue. I would recommend seeing a doctor just to rule anything out.
cosmernaut420: Yeah, I was gonna ask OP for pointers but this is actually way more likely than any skill ceiling.
ShadowWolf793: Ok, but like, imagine OP just actually gives that good of head. I prefer to live in _that_ world honestly.
Holydevlin: I swear I saw a story on Reddit about a woman whos had 3+ people die while sleeping with her.
thetrexus: Fia, the deathbed companion.
poseidonkissed: Another Baldachins Blessing enjoyer
| 7 | 123.285714 | |
1667837272 | 1667873065 | t3_yorhtz | t5_2to41 | 4,035 | Brandillio: TIFU in the early 2000s by asking the wrong person for rolling papers
I have no idea why I just remembered this old story now, but it seems funnier today..
So around 2006, my friends and I went to a local club after we were on a fishing trip. We didn’t know anyone besides our group of ladies and gents, but it was a blast regardless. I think I was the only one in the group that didn’t smoke pot and one of the pals wanted to but didn’t have any papers to roll it with. Well, good old superhero drunken me, I decided to approach the first person I saw and kindly ask. So after about a 2 minute convo, I finally got to the point.. “hey man, listen… do you have papers?” …. He face dropped for some reason.. and he walked away to his group of friends.. well stupid me had a dumb face, smiling back at my friends thinking he’s going to get some. Well that’s when I see 3 people walking my way.. a little weird that 3 people need to deliver me some rolling papers… I looked away for a second, and BOOOOM I get knocked on my ass… I get up, and see my friends running at me and it’s on. After about a 5 minute rumble in the corner of the club, bouncers finally break us all up and walk us all outside.. well this is the first time I can actually muster up the sentence “what the fuck man? I kindly asked for rolling papers, and you bring friends into it to fight? That’s bullshit!”, well they all look at each other, and lose their shit laughing.. like I mean snorting, wheezing… the whole package.. I’m confused.. I thought I was pranked or something, but the black eye, and blood everywhere didn’t seem all that funny to me.. the guy came up to me.. and he said “FUCKING ROLLING PAPERS? LOL”
Well I learned something that night… when you go up to a stranger asking for papers be VERY clear.. this Asian guy actually thought that I was asking for his citizenship papers and thought I was being racist to him, which is why I was attacked. So ask for rolling papers, and not papers. And to add some background, I am half Vietnamese, so speaking to Asian people made me feel more comfortable.. I just don’t look all that Asian 🙄
To end the story on a happy ending, his group, and our group of friends all went to a different club, and had a blast!
The end
TL;DR (PART 1) Asked an Asian guy for papers, thought I meant citizenship papers, and started a bar fight but ended up parting afterwards
EDIT (DLC):
PART 2 to this story (and sorry if you are seeing this multiple times, some people cannot find it in the comments:
Lol okay okay (there’s actually a crazier part to this story but I’ll stick with this next part for now). So the next day we had a 4 hour drive back to our home town, so I went to bring my luggage down in the morning while looking like shit, and smelling like a brewery. Well just our luck, the back tire was flat, and it almost looked like someone did it on purpose. So I call my friends down, and we all know how to change a tire but weren’t feeling the heat, and doing manual labor. So we stare at it for a bit, and I lose the bet so I decide to change the tire. I removed the back panel in the trunk, get the Jack, jack the car up, and go to grab the spare tire when I notice something. I lift the tire up and it almost sounded like it was from a movie because 3 of us guys at the same time in sync “HOOOOOLLLLYYYYY FUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK” 😳 The first thing that caught my attention was a paper bag with a $50 bill hanging out. I grab the bag, and it was fairly heavy, and thick. I am completely numb at this point, feeling like we hit the jackpot, and well, we kinda did.. if my memory is correct here was the contents NSFW WARNING $7,500.00 in cash a small brick of white powder (which we found out was snow)* (I’m not exactly sure what I’m allowed to post or not, so I may get banned which I hope not because this is my favorite sub)* approximately 300-400 pills which was a mixture of Hydro’s, Percs, Oxys, and some other ones which I was too scared to “sample”* there was some other stuff in there like MDMA, and some stuff that I have no idea was… but I did not care. I hop on my phone, and I look at the group, and I said “well…. I better do the right thing here….” They all give me that “are you F’n serious” look. The phone rings and someone picks up! it’s my boss, so I said “hey sorry, we are out of town, and our rental car was a dud, I won’t be in till maybe Tuesday” (it was Saturday) and I quickly hung up, and told them to do the same, which they did. And for those who are tuning in, it was two nights of pretty much zero sleep, insane fun, and memories I’ll never forget, but also some I don’t remember. I have experienced a lot in my life, partying, was a lead singer in a bad for years and toured all over, but THIS was probably the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. I wish I could invite you all and relive this just one more time! We bought rounds at the bar (1 round to about 20 people for those adding up the funds lol) and partied with strangers. It was high roller for two days and we had zero regrets lol Something unfortunate, one of my friends actually got told “if you don’t show up to work, you may as cut ties..” so we made sure there was about $3k left, and gave it to him because we felt bad. That whole weekend I swear you could make a movie from it. I was the only single one at the time, so I think I had more fun than anyone there 😳 there is a last part to this story that was wiiiiild, but I may have to PM for that part.
P.S. Enterprise Rent a Car did not sponsor that weekend ;)
Anyways, thanks for the flashback ☺️ I better get back to my now boring life.. put my kid to bed in an hour… then video games for 3 till I start nodding off.
Have a good night, guys!
TL;DR (part 2) Found money, and drugs in the rental car the next day, partied for 2 days straight, had fun.
theeimage: Did your friends ever get rolling papers or did they just improvise a pipe?
Brandillio: Actually even better, the people we had just met, had them already pre rolled… oh I wish I could tell you the shit that all happened.. long story short.. we got a rental car.. and found some… amazing things where they keep the spare tire 😶
Foggmanatic: You can't leave us hanging like that... what was in the rental car?
Brandillio: I just posted it as a reply below. I’m not sure how to tag you guys because I’m still technically new here lol but it’s a good read!
throwaway_nowgoaway: Just a heads up that there is no reply below. And I need to know. LOL
Brandillio: How about now? I never know where to do a reply lol
throwaway_nowgoaway: So I see it in your comment history but when I click on it- nothing
You can just make a comment on your own post. Which I’m assuming you did but it’s not showing for whatever reason. Maybe copy paste from history and try again?
Brandillio: So I replied it to the person that said “The People deserve to know!” And then I also went down to the bottom of the thread, copied, and pasted it there also :) if you don’t see it, I’ll just type it here as a reply to you lol
throwaway_nowgoaway: That would be great. For whatever reason I’m not seeing any of the comments you’re referring to.
| 10 | 403.5 | |
1667861617 | 1667917158 | t3_yp3k60 | t5_2to41 | 1,119 | [deleted]: TIFU by encouraging my student to google someone they probably shouldn't
[deleted]
Princessena: Omg those poor balls
ChiSandTwitch: I guarantee he asked for it. In fact, I'd wager he paid rather a lot of money for that
Princessena: That's so painful tho, like I wouldn't let anyone walk on my boobs cause that would be hell
ChiSandTwitch: That's rather the point... I'm not sure how much of this I want to explain to you without self-incriminating in a _very_ public domain!
Princessena: Omg it's that kink where you like pain, I forgot the name of it
Jedda678: Masochism.
The act of deriving pleasure from pain inflicted on yourself by either your own hands or someone else, typically a sadist. It is often involved in BDSM play.
Princessena: Yea that's the one
| 8 | 139.875 | |
1669480690 | 1669507028 | t3_z5bprq | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU By Nearly Sinking my Boat at the Ramp
[deleted]
RandoCalrissian11: Next time just start driving forward. All the water will drain out the hole and you can easily put the plug in.
Sometimes I’ll take the plug out to drain water that’s come into the boat because it’s faster than waiting for the bilge.
Schtevo66: I found a one way valve that screws into the plug hole. Never need to take it out and never have water in my boat
RandoCalrissian11: A check valve? It can get clogged, that’s my only issue with it.
Schtevo66: Depends how clean you keep your boat I guess, dirty bilge yeah you’re right
RandoCalrissian11: Mines a fishing boat. Clean isn’t an option
Schtevo66: Yeah, I'm a waterskier and picky with my maintenance, you could probably drink my bilgewater
| 7 | 2.714286 | |
1669481306 | 1669534377 | t3_z5byai | t5_2to41 | 3,094 | [deleted]: TIFU by answering the door with a Korean face mask on
[deleted]
sallysaunderses: 100% thought “Korean mask” was going in a very different direction.
Also who is still answering the door for deliveries? We can’t be the only people that wait for the driver to pull away so they don’t witness our door slightly open and a single hand reach out and grab the bag.
Vonkosue: Once my wife ordered food while I was on my way home from work. She had told me to "keep an eye out" as it was going to get there around the same time I did. I haven't run that fast in a long time. All so I could be at home when the food arrived. Can you imagine if both me and the delivery person walked up to my door at the same time? Nightmare fuel!
Dracofunk: Today. I was delivering as i pulled into a driveway, a truck pulled in behind me and blocked the driveway. As I got out with his wife's bag, he began to yell at me to get out of his driveway. I was startled. I shut the door and took the bag to his wife. He parked on the street and watched me as I went back to my car. I had locked the door with my keys inside. He proceeded to yell and xuss at me, threatened to call the police(he possibly did). My wife drove by 25 minutes later and unlocked the door. Police never showed up, and he left before my wife showed up. I apologized and tried to be courteous.
H3rlittl3t0y: I mean..... your mistake here is pulling into their driveway, and this incident does an excellent job of showing exactly why you don't park in the customer's driveway when making deliveries. For one, a lot of people will see it as disrespectful at best. Your car might be leaking oil, and put an oil spot in their driveway. They might just be weird and be upset that you took their parking spot.
It also isn't safe. When you pull into a driveway, you no longer have an 'out' if you need to GTFO and someone blocks you in. Makes it a whole hell of a lot easier for you to get robbed.
Also never leave the car running when you walk away from it on a delivery, *especially* when delivering to apartment complexes or other areas of high density housing. Lock the car when you step away from it.
Source: delivered pizzas in some pretty rough areas for about 4 years, saw coworkers get robbed, and one get stabbed.
do_not_the_cat: starting and stopping the engine often really isnt great for the car, better get two sets of keys, so you can leave the car running AND lock it from the outside
H3rlittl3t0y: I'm honestly not so sure that is the case; if it were OEMs wouldn't have made so many cars with automatic start/stop tech.
However, getting a 2nd set of keys so you can keep the car locked isnt that awful of an idea, at least until someone gets the bright idea of breaking the window and stealing the car. source: coworker's car was stolen while sitting running in a parking lot while on a delivery. He locked the car, they broke the window.
zorggalacticus: Those keyless ignitions also will not shut off the car if someone drives off without the key fob. It'll run forever until they shut off the car. Just something to remember because I know lots of people who think that it's fine, the car will just shut off when the key is out of range. It won't. They can drive all the way to the chop shop with it.
H3rlittl3t0y: absolutely correct! Oh! and the *best* part of all of this is that if you leave the keys in the car and it gets stolen, it's owner assisted theft and you're shit out of luck in terms of insurance!
zorggalacticus: Same if you leave the engine running with a keyless ignition. Insurance sucks.
| 10 | 309.4 | |
1669483412 | 1669484285 | t3_z5cs8a | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU By taking shrooms with my ex fiancé
[deleted]
Gavin_Crites: You didn't fuck up. I really hope things get better for you, but it seems like your trip also slapped you across the face with reality. The best advice I can give you is to move on.
airadvantage: Yeah, it did. You're not wrong. As well, just trash. I wake up to a call and text saying stuff from her is going to be deliverer here. From her, like this just socks in general.
LaterHarmony: Everything he said but also ONLY trip with people you KNOW will bring good vibes without any of the extra drama an stuff
airadvantage: I was hesitant at first, but I know her and how she acts. we were together for 3 years or so. However, yeah, I agree with you. Tbh I rather trip alone than deal with people.
| 5 | 5 | |
1669483760 | 1669515060 | t3_z5cwz5 | t5_2to41 | -67 | SubstantialEnding: TIFU By Urinating on my Girlfriend's Foot
Me (22M) and my girlfriend (23F) moved in together around 6 months ago, and we sleep in the same bed every night. She is the most perfect, kindest girlfriend I could ever ask for. But, I have a raging foot fetish. I was so scared she would see it as weird. So instead of telling her about it, I satisfy myself by licking her feet every night while she's sleeping. Well, this morning I fucked up, because at around 2 am, I got the idea to urinate on her foot. And it fucking woke her up. She's now talking about moving back in with her parents and taking a break.
She really was the girl of my dreams and I wanted to marry her. We would still be together if I licked her foot like a normal person. She also told some of her friends about it, and some of them messaged me to call me a perv. My girlfriend changed my name in her phone to Pee Pee the Clown. I feel like my whole life is over.
TLDR: I might lose my dream girl because I let me golden rain let loose on her foot
FA-1800: This is why it pays to share such things BEFORE you act on them. Wanting to kiss her feet is something most women can get used to with the right guy, even if it's not particularly their thing. Finding out about by waking up to you taking a leak on her is bad juju... if she wasn't going to be able to live with your desires, better to settle it now before you've invested years of your lives and THEN break up. Not that there is anything wrong with a little foot worship.
[deleted]: Fr op fucked up by not beinf honest. If she cared she wouldnt have seen it as weird, and you wouldnt have taken it to that next level. Licking her feet nonconsensually to please yourself really is akin if not absolutely molestation.
SubstantialEnding: its just piss
FunStorm6487: Which is natural!!!!
FunStorm6487: Do all the down voted, read his comments
| 6 | -11.166667 | |
1669484427 | 1669512565 | t3_z5d6ep | t5_2to41 | 116 | Ok_Interview_1739: TIFU by making a pregnant woman lose her lunch in my ambulance
Hey, so this happened a little over a year ago, but a co-worker brought it up today and this story needs to be shared for "educational purposes."
I'm a paramedic and, at the time, I was a little over 6 years into my career in EMS. This shift started off like any other. I got up, drove to work, got ready for my shift, and checked out my ambulance. The only thing that made this shift a little different was that I actually brought a lunch to work. I live in Illinois and we are lucky enough to have been blessed with the incredible delicacy, commonly known as, White Castle. The night before, my girlfriend and I, decided to indulge ourselves and visit this exquisite dining facility for some tasty sliders.
After we finish eating, we realized that we may have bought too many, but it was fine because I would just take them to work the next day. So, lunch time comes around and I eagerly make my way to the kitchen to heat up my little square guilty pleasures. I scarffed them down and all was right in the world.
About an hour later, we get a call. 35 year old female with abdominal pain. We rush to the scene and found our patient sitting on a chair on her front porch. She told us that she was about 13 weeks pregnant and she has been experiencing a cramping like feeling in her stomach to the point its making her nauseous. We asked our questions, took some vitals, did our assessment, and got her into the ambulance.
I was sitting on the bench seat next to her, trying to keep her calm while I get an IV going. I'm just about to poke her when I started to get, what could only be described as, the bubble guts. I tried my best to keep my composure while feeling like my stomach is trying to twist and shred it's self to pieces. I got the IV and I was explaining that we were going to be giving her meds to help with the nausea. It start to draw up the meds when it happens... I could feel the pneumatic pressure building and bubbling in my intestines. I tighten my butthole as hard as I can as it was my last line of defense. As hard as I tried to hold it back, the infamous Illinois potholes would seem to be my downfall. As we hit the pothole, I felt it happen. Much like Hodor in Game of Thrones, I was not able stop the evil that was unleashed into the world.
Fortunately, it was a "silent but deadly" one. Unfortunately, it emphasized on the "deadly" part.
I try to play it cool and continue making small talk with this nice lady. I give her the meds and tell her that they might take a minute to start working. Apparently, a minute was too long. She began to complain of this horrific smell and severe nausea. I thought that it might have just been fom the outside, but then it hit me.
Side note, did you know that when a person is pregnant, they can experience heightened senses? Well now you do.
This fart was by far one of the most racid smells to have ever been produced. It smelled like a mix of rotting food being severed next to a tire fire and your parents disappointed. The pt began to gag and dry heave. I did my best to reach and grab a basin in time, but... thats not what ended up happening.
My patient projectile vomited onto the wall of my ambulance. She began to apologize but I just told her "Dont worry about it. Shit happens." After puking up her guts, she said she was actually starting to feel a little better. After that, we got to the hospital, cleaned up the ambulance, and that was that.
TLDR: My rancid fart caused a pregnant woman to re-enact the exorcist all over my ambulance.
Enter_My_Fryhole: She said she was feeling better, so congrats you did it Dr. Fart
smearing: It’s Dr. Fart from The Rehearsal!
Enter_My_Fryhole: I was making a terrible joke, forgot about that bit. It's so funny cause I was looking the time when you replied and it was 420 seconds ago which actually significant in the scriptures representing lost spuld and found references, so clearly our 2 comments were fated to interact. Bless you
smearing: It took me three times reading this to get the numerology reference but it was worth it — you nailed the confusing vibe of that guy hahahah
Enter_My_Fryhole: It hurt my brain to type it! Ha
| 6 | 19.333333 | |
1669486189 | 1669745959 | t3_z5dvj9 | t5_2to41 | 9,494 | gigglyfrosting: TIFUpdate by drunk texting my crush, THREE YEARS LATER!
A very late update to my [tifu](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/eg89rd/tifupdate_by_drunk_texting_my_crush/) I made three years ago!
I'm writing this post to eternalize this moment on reddit as today is my wedding day to the same guy I drunkly correlated liking him to having a lactose intolerance.
I rushed to reddit to be reassured about my dumb ass move and all of you have been so supportive and have even asked for an update! The past three years were really really great in a broad way, it wasn't perfect, and we had our ups and downs but I'm genuinely happy right now! I'm glad I fucked up, and I wish for all of you to fuck up and to keep fucking up despite how awful it might turn out (okay to some limit, I mean)
Also, he told me that he requested that they would write "Happy wedding day to us Lactose Intolerance! Hey don't write that, her name is Alex", on our wedding cake. Will post pictures if that turns out to be true lol. ~~Also Bojack Horseman reference in case no one noticed.~~
**TLDR: IM GETTING MARRIED**
cyanidepancakes: I feel like this definitely qualifies for /r/bestofredditorupdates.
phoenixatknight: Ditto, I expect to see it posted there in 7 days.
lattice12: I give it until the end of the day
ParallelLynx: Their rules require a 7 day wait after the post before being reposted in there
lattice12: Is that a new rule? I remember for a while it was getting ridiculous with new posts about updates to the same story every other day.
ParallelLynx: I couldn't say, I only found that subreddit about a month ago lol
| 7 | 1,356.285714 | |
1668780978 | 1668852692 | t3_yyl57t | t5_2to41 | 885 | xwillybabyx: TIFU Wife thought I was having a seizure while I was actually just "seizing the moment"
So this happened last night and I'm pretty embarrassed but also kinda laughing. So last night, kids and wife were crashed out, it was midnight and I was on my phone with my noise cancelling headphones just browsing reddit, tik tok, youtube .. the normal. And of course cuz I'm a perv all these late night ass shakin girl videos keep popping up on all my feeds. Well normally if the wife isn't in the mood I'll head up to my office to "ya know". Well I was lazy, it was late, so I just well "ya know" right there in bed. Anyway, I'm pretty into some good hamster video getting close and apparently because of my headphones I really didn't know how much noise I was making. Plus getting a little vigorous. Now when they say "non motion transferring mattress" I think they mean if you roll over, not if you ... go to pound town. Anyway, my wife wakes up, asks me if I'm ok, but of course I can't hear her, I don't see her, she thinks I'm having a seizure, panics, yells, tries to shake me at the same time I finish ... "OH GROSS" as I'm panting and sweating and grinning. So this morning I was sternly reprimanded haha.
TL;DR Wife was asleep, I had on my noise cancelling headphones, started to have some "me time" and she thought I was having a siezure.
Bio_Hazardous: You jack off with your wife next to you in bed? Bruh...
anonymous_br0: Is that a problem? My wife encourages it when she can’t have sex. We all got needs. Not sure why we have to pretend it’s a shameful thing.
justadude4141: Jacking off, seems fine i also do that. The idea of watching porn right next to your wife feels icky
Aoeletta: Yeah. Like super disrespectful.
Didn’t want to wake her for sex… Woke her up anyway, and now it’s just to let her know you were wanting someone else sexually.
I’m very pro-sex and healthy masturbation as it works for each individual relationship. This… was just rude and inconsiderate. If OP didn’t want to wake her for sex AND they are both okay with porn… he still should have left the room. Otherwise he’s still doing the bad thing (waking her) without even the nice thing (intimacy).
Sorrymomlol12: I mean…. this is TIFU….
Aoeletta: Yeah.
It’s his attitude in the comments that are annoying.
xwillybabyx: I've been married for a long time, we have kids, we have been through everything. She's not actually mad at me, it's a funny story if a little embarrassing but no one got hurt, no one is mad, no one is upset and yes while I woke her up it wasn't malicious by any means. Sorry my comments are annoying. I thought it was a funny story.
EyesWideDead: Don't let the prudes ruin your fun.
| 9 | 98.333333 | |
1667957012 | 1667975592 | t3_yq4ogo | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: Talked about gross topics
[removed]
MajestaHazel: I mean…cereal eaten out of an ass is fairly weird. What did the other person bring up?
Icy_Engine_7648: It's only weird if you don't add milk
Beautifulblueocean: Wait what kind of cereal?
better not be some raisin brain.
| 4 | 7.5 | |
1667956963 | 1668023556 | t3_yq4nsa | t5_2to41 | 142 | SyCoREAPER: TIFU by working on my wife's laptop while sleep deprived
Last night I was extremely sleep deprived. I had already rebuilt my desktop along with the tedious wire management. After I was done it was still relatively early so I thought while I was at would work on my wife's laptop. Previously I had used some scrap thermal pads on the NVMEs and had some brand new ones so thought I'd put them on.
Laptop was acting very erratically but figured it was because it was on battery (and I never really used her laptop) so I thought it was an aggressive eco mode.
Today I wanted to realign them and opened it back up. Luckily I did. Low and behold I was in such a hurry last night that I forgot to take the plastic off the top of the pads before putting the heatsinks on.
A boring tale and probably doesn't mean much for non-techy folks but those in the tech world will know how dumb that was and luckily caught my own mistake before frying the NVMEs.
TLDR: I worked on my wife's laptop while sleep deprived and nearly fried both NVMe drives because I didn't take the plastic off.
ppetree: OUCH!!!
I learned a long time ago that I don't touch someone else's work computer. They have their own IT departments for that. Let them take the hit.
SyCoREAPER: ? This is her personal/my laptop. I bought it for her
ppetree: Sorry. My bad. Some how "working on wife's" stuck in my brain as "wife's work."
Still... OUCH!!!
SyCoREAPER: Haha no worries. Yeah luckily neither of us did anything intensive. I booted it up and did a small Windowa update and an undervolt but was getting annoyed by the slowness and stopped undervolting.
Had she played a game, they probably would have either died or shaved some life off of them
ppetree: Nearly 40 years in IT and coding, I've seen some real boners... most happen when people are tired.
I've done some incredibly stupid stuff while tired... a few years ago I wiped out an entire server and 5 months of my work. Turns out my backups were all bad.
SyCoREAPER: That's painful
I did something similar (except it wasn't my fault)I discovered/executed a task that was bugged and took down the entire network at my old job. Woops
| 7 | 20.285714 | |
1667958513 | 1667967491 | t3_yq57em | t5_2to41 | 3,007 | FatJesus13908: TIFU by being a forgetful doordasher.
I've been doordashing as a bit of a hobby and to get some extra bucks in my pocket. Tonight was like any other night, dark, kinda cold, and boring. Tips were bad, what I get for being too poor to move out of a rural area.
Get an order for a pizza from the Hut. Get there, it's already done, everything is going smooth. All I gotta do is drop it off at the customer's door, and accept the gracious $2 that I get paid for driving 8 miles.
I pull into the apartment complex, reach over into the passenger seat for the pizza, just to realize it's not there. I'd forgotten it on top of my car when I was unlocking it.
I rush back to the Hut, hoping and hoping that it'll be laying there in the parking lot, untouched, even if its upside down. I get just a block away from it, when I see it. This poor defenseless 14" pizza had been pummeled, squashed, murderized all over the main road by hungry metal hippos.
I pull back into the parking lot of the Hut, and messaged the customer. I apologized and explained the situation to her, telling her to call customer support and hopefully they'll refund her.
She says they won't, which I said was "dumb af". Then I realized there was no way to cancel the order, that I must go back to her complex and complete the delivery. For a second time, I pass by the crime scene, cheese and sauce coating the pavement. I sheepishly pull into the parking lot of this poor lady's complex, and take a picture of her building. When dropping off at someone's doorstep they require you to take a picture for completion of the order, alas, I had no order to drop off though.
She then messaged me saying she'd reported me and that she knows I stole her precious bed of dough and sauce. I replied that while I definitely understand reporting me, I'm no liar. So I gave her directions to where she can scrape up her pizza baby, and went on to my next dash. It's going to be a fun situation to deal with.
Tldr; Forgot pizza on top of my car, other cars squished it, customer accused me of being a liar and a thief. IFU.
Edit: To answer a few common questions.
The reason I didn't call Doordash support is honestly because I had no clue they existed until people commented about it. There isn't exactly any training for this, I probably skimmed over it though.
The reason I accepted a $2 order is because again, I live in a rural area. Sometimes I'm waiting around for four hours just to make $8 for two orders. If I don't accept it, maybe someone else will. And having something to put into my bank account is better than nothing. As far as I can tell, it doesn't show where you'll be dropping off the orders until after you accept it. My acceptance rate is 98% cause I've accepted every order except for one that glitched out the other night due to the app fucking up.
Pizza Hut doesn't have delivery drivers here, we are a rural place so everyone is spread out, and most people don't want to get paid $8.75/hour to deal with being an employee there. Hell, there was only one person working in the entire building tonight.
Don't worry yall, I'm not afraid of losing this job. I don't do it often, and I'm not so desperate as to need it to pay bills.
For those trynna make me out to be bad at this, I've got a 5 star rating. Definitely won't have it now, but still. Again, this is just a hobby. I like to drive around, so this way I get to drive around and get paid to do so.
Bardlebee, Everyone. Bardlebee.
prettyy_vacant: You fucked up by taking a $2 order. Never take anything under $7. Also when something like this happens you have to report it to support so they could cancel the order.
SpaceCadetTooFarGone: I think OP is trying to say that *$7 orders are rare* in their area. Lol.
ZwischenzugZugzwang: People tip $7+ for delivery? On top of the delivery fee and everything? If you're just ordering for one you're gonna be paying half your bill in fees and tips unless you order an absolute feast.
SpaceCadetTooFarGone: Idk. I'm not OP. I don't keep track of what everyone who uses door dash pays in fees, tips, taxes, etc, whatever. I've lived in some *pretty rural areas* and even the dirt is poor for crops. Let's get OP to clarify to diffuse our confusions and questions.
ZwischenzugZugzwang: I'm just saying even in a different environment that sounds like an exceptionally generous tip and not a bare minimum customers should be expected to adhere to.
SpaceCadetTooFarGone: Okay! Thanks for explaining. We're just on 2 different pages about it. I spent 13 years in the food service industry. The last brewery I bartended at was full of fat ass tippers. It wasn't fancy or dress coded. I would have been annoyed, at that time, about a $7 tip. 🤣
ZwischenzugZugzwang: That's just the thing though. For a bartender or a waiter I usually tip like 20%. Delivery isn't the same thing. They're not literally waiting on you and catering to your needs. They're just dropping off the food, sometimes on their way to finish another order, and you interact for max 3 seconds unless there's a problem.
p3rfect_specimen: Not sure what you ask of your waiters, but I just ask them to remember my order and bring it to me from 50 feet away. Driving it to me from across town so I don't need to leave my house seems like a bigger favor, but at the very least it's comparable.
ZwischenzugZugzwang: Taking your order, refilling drinks, I dunno, normal stuff? Even if you're a low maintenance customer (I am) they're still taking a more hands on approach with you than a delivery driver is. I mean I know people who talk to bartenders especially at length during their visit. It's just more involved than delivery driving. I'm not trying to diminish drivers just saying I don't think the tipping logic we apply to waiters and bartenders can simply be copy & pasted to apply to them.
| 10 | 300.7 | |
1669488955 | 1669491747 | t3_z5exyk | t5_2to41 | 5 | Mindless-Pumpkin-916: TIFU Tried bettering my relationship with my neighbors and it failed miserably
I live very far out of the city and got 1 neighbor we both get internet by radios and i have setup mine by myself bringing connection from the city at 200mb/s D and 200mb/s up distance of 14k, my neighbor this week asked me if i can fix his as his connection is extremely slow i said yes and here we are today. Went over checked everything looks like everything was locked with custom passwords the technician that put the radios and the router locked it all and the reset buttons didn't work too as those were also software locked, so i continue trying and trying to reset then i try to take a custom power box for the radio and connect the cables wrong the cable that supplies power to the radio i plugged it into the router and the other to the radio, after a bit i start smelling burning plastic IT WAS THE FUCKING ROUTER, it didn't get hot but the pcb started smelling bad after a while the router couldn't connect to the internet and the don't have internet now.
I would say its my fault but in the end if i had the password all would have been good, i don't know why someone would lock the radios and the router but i guess its because of money. Probably thought to themselves that if they do that not only will it cause the person working on the radios fuck up but also cause them to call the technician that put the radios meaning extra money for him. He shouldn't have any internet problems in the first place if the technician did his job right and spend time on changing the radios to correct frequencies and power.
Now i feel guilty knowing that not only was this soo easy done but also that he has to actually call the fucking technician that put those radios like that in the first place. Good deed turned into a bad deed in the end
Tldr: I tried fixing my neighbors internet connection to better my relations but it resulted in him paying for a technician and his house almost catch on fire.
speculatrix: I have a friend with professionally installed CCTV. There's a wireless link from house to garage.
They didn't give him passwords to anything save the NVR main login. Not the cameras, nor WiFi. It glitched after a power cut, the whole configuration was lost. and they came and fixed it, fortunately within the handover/warranty period so didn't have to pay. Then it happened again, and they wanted a callout fee, but I managed to persuade them to tell us the camera password, and I was able to set it all up again. I saved the configuration to a USB thumb drive, and had to restore it a few times. Eventually persuaded him to buy a UPS.
But I didn't bargain on becoming a CCTV expert! He bought me a bottle of very nice Scotch as a gift.
Mindless-Pumpkin-916: i wish it went out that smooth in my case this was a legitimate 15 minute job
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1667952969 | 1667963545 | t3_yq36zq | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu in School
[removed]
GuyOne: Please add a TLDR
Muted-Wolf-21: I was just gonna say that 😭😭😭
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1667962927 | 1668023980 | t3_yq6rpr | t5_2to41 | 36,612 | Commercial_Low1383: TIFU UPDATE By expecting my family to pay for my birthday dinner
So my mom found the Reddit posts. I don’t how or when. But I think my brother had something to do with it. She went on a huge temper tantrum throwing things across the room calling me the R slur. for “making her look bad” and how almost all of it was lies.
I asked her to explain how any of it was a lie and she completely dodged the question. I remember just crying and asking her why she refused to buy me my birthday dinner on my 18th birthday. She wouldn’t answer me. It was only 30$ guys, I know it sounds expensive but it wasn’t that much considering I never ask for anything on my birthday.
She continued to call me a liar and has since told me that I’m being evicted. (I have been served “papers” but I was planning on leaving anyway) she’s been crying and ignoring me.
Now I am seriously confused and doubting myself. At first I thought I had gotten everything, I had all the information. But am I missing something? Everyone’s been telling me no on here which has risen my confidence. But this was a total shattering moment. I feel like an idiot and I feel terrible, but she called me a leach.
I can’t tell if I’m being manipulated or not. I can’t tell if this is just another lie. I feel like I’m going batshit crazy staying here.
I didn’t mean to get everyone entangled in all of this and I didn’t mean for this to go insanely viral. I didn’t give out her name, I gave out my nickname that I’ve been called. Maybe a few of her friends recognized the post and me. I can’t really tell.
I still plan to reach out to my dad. My stepdad hasn’t really said anything and just sat on the couch nonchalantly while my mother was on her tyrannical speech about how I was Satans spawn.
I’ve said this in almost every post. I’m insanely sorry for clogging tifu. I don’t mean this to be validating or anything. If the mods want me to stop posting I will.
Feel free to dm me
Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ykkemb/tifu_by_expecting_my_family_to_pay_for_my/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
TLDR; Mom is kicking me out after she found the Reddit posts.
harleyspoison267: Dude I've been following this whole thing and I'm so pissed. I think you're completely justified and not at all overreacting. If anything, I think you're questioning yourself too much. I think when you're an older adult, you'll look back at how you're feeling right now and get mad because you'll see that your mom has manipulated you so much for so long that she's inside your head, and the rest of your family has allowed it. It's horrible to let someone think that their disability makes them a liability or undeserving. *Please* be safe and know that there are good people who want to help you and that you deserve that help if you need it. It is not your job to be ashamed because your mother failed to complete her job of raising you. Take care of yourself.
radraze2kx: I've also been following this since the very first post. I'm sorry your mom found your post. She probably has your username now and is reading everything. Hey OPs Mom, get some fucking psychiatric help.
Snowie_drop: I hope she is reading all the comments because she's a piece of garbage.
APerfectCircle0: Most garbage would be more useful than OP's mother
Fappity_Fappity_Fap: Ayup, most garbage can be recycled into something new or into compost, OP's mom can't, the stepdad is the last one who'll get anything useful out of her.
Unlimited_Emmo: I mean, you can compost the mom
Fappity_Fappity_Fap: With that amount of salt in her body? Ya wanna grow or poison your plants, man?
srobhrob: I have some mint I can't get rid of.
itsjusttts: Mint repels some insects.
Also, fuck OPs mom. Any parent who treats their child as less than is fucking trash.
OPs mom, I hope you get abandoned in life and have a slow miserable death that lasts years you callous, heartless bitch
Wtf
srobhrob: This mint took over the entire bed in between when we viewed the house and when we moved in after purchase. Two 8'3" garden beds. That was January 2020. I am still battling it. I've tried emptying several sam's club canisters of salt, herbicide that kills everything that grows. Industrial strength vinegar. Dawn dish detergent. Random combinations of the above. This is the MRSA of the mint world.
Maybe a salty corpse would help.
itsjusttts: If OPs mom's corpse isn't available, I'm happy to bring my dog over. He's killed everything he's peed on, including herbicide-resistant weeds.
| 12 | 3,051 | |
1669491156 | 1669503303 | t3_z5fsl8 | t5_2to41 | 118 | wallabeans: TIFU by riding an electric bike in eastern poland
Last summer I visited my family in Poland who live there because of my dad's job. I'm an American going to college in America and don't speak any polish, except for like "kurwa" but that doesn't count.
Anyways, we decided to visit Bialowieza which is a town right on the border of Belarus, known for their bison, believe it or not. When we got there we noticed that there were a lot of temporary units set up housing polish soldiers. My dad assured us that it was pretty safe for us to be here though, that the military presence was just a precaution.
After going through the national park and seeing a few of the bison and other animals, we were all pretty tired of walking so I got the idea that we should rent some bikes and go on a ride around town and through the countryside.
Me and the rest of the family just got normal bikes, but my dad, having just had a couple beers with lunch, decided to rent an electric one, with a big bulky battery pack on the back. 5 minutes into the ride my dad still couldn't figure out how to turn it on though and he was trailing behind us. My mom suggested that as a computer science major I should figure out how to turn the bike on lol. So I waited up for my dad and gave him my bike, promising that I'd figure it out.
My dad sped off on my bike leaving me messing with the handle bars trying to figure out which button to push to turn the damn thing on. I put the kick stand down to try and figure out if it had something to do with the battery. I assumed that the thing must be broken, so I got back on the bike and started following my family who were now way up ahead. It was really annoying to ride, since without the electric motor on it was just a much heavier bike. I also kept hearing a light scraping sound that I at the time assumed had something to do with pedaling while the motor was off.
Suddenly I hear a voice yell out to me. I look over and some guy in full polish camo holding a gun is looking at me from behind a fence. He shouts something in Polish again and points at my bike. I shout back "Sorry no polish, do you speak English?" Then he shouts "Stand down".
My mind immediately jumps to thinking that he thinks my electric bike is some kinda military device, or that the battery pack is like a bomb or something. "Stand down".
At this point I'm freaking out, so I get off the bike. I do NOT wanna get shot over some misunderstanding so I start to try to explain that the bike uses electricity in really simple words. I'm just hoping that he doesn't think I'm some kind of insurgent, and at the same time I'm confused as to why he doesn't recognize an electric bike, Poland is pretty modern right?
"Stand down" he says again, this time pointing to my rear wheel. I look over and realize he's trying to tell me that my bicycle stand is down, and had been for the entire time I was biking.
"Ohhhh, thank you!" I say, and put it back up. He smiles and gives me a thumbs up, and I bike off to catch up with my family.
I did end up figuring out how to turn it on, but at that point we had pretty much seen everything there was to see.
Tldr: Thought some solider was telling me to stand out. Turns out, he was trying to tell me that my bike stand was down.
Appropriatelywrong: Lol, that went waaay better than I anticipated.
dronzer31: Yeah, I was expecting legal trouble.
| 3 | 39.333333 | |
1667967025 | 1667984007 | t3_yq85uk | t5_2to41 | 647 | Relevant_Tax_3737: TIFU: By assuming basic chemistry was common sense.
[removed]
Chesu: >I instructed my husband to clean it using some bleach
…Sorry, to clarify, in what way were you expecting him to clean it? You said to use bleach, and he used bleach? Is this not on you?
GeofryHempstain: Hence the post in TIFU, not TMGRHFU (Today my golden retriever husband fucked up)
Relevant_Tax_3737: Yeah this is 100% on me lol. I should have specified HOW to use the bleach.
rumble_salt: Look, as a kid who definitely mixed a lot of chemicals he shouldn’t have… you have to mix a lot of ammonia and bleach to do anything.
Just don’t let him start playing with aluminum and iron iii oxide powder inside… because that makes a mess!
dominus_aranearum: >aluminum and iron iii oxide powder
At least this requires an ignition source. Mixing the two without igniting it is harmless.
rumble_salt: What 15 year old doesn’t do this with an ignition source in his hand?
dominus_aranearum: That was more or less my point. The entire act of making thermite is intentional. People who mix bleach with another chemical in an attempt to clean something at home are doing it out of ignorance. There's a major difference.
| 8 | 80.875 | |
1669498647 | 1669554905 | t3_z5ip4m | t5_2to41 | 1,730 | DreyaNova: TIFU by trying to call out sick: a fever dream saga.
So I’ve been hit with the awful flu that’s going around, it just hit me all at once about 24 hours ago. High fever, shivering like crazy, worst headache and sore throat of my life. Did a Covid test but it came back negative, so I figured I should just pound cold medicine and coconut water and get some sleep to try and get in to work today.
I set an alarm for 7AM, just in case I didn’t feel well enough to work so I could call my company staffing line and give them time to find someone else to cover for me.
7AM rolls around, I feel like death, I’m sweating buckets and I’m completely freezing. So I call the staffing hotline half awake and mumble feverishly about not being able to make my shift.
The guy on the other end of the phone sounded really angry, and I couldn’t quite make out what he was saying? So I just said “Okay thank you bye bye.” hung up and went back to sleep.
About…. 8 hours later I wake up again, and instantly I’m slightly haunted by the weird phone call. He’s usually such a nice guy, I don’t know why he’d be so mad at me for calling out sick. We have lots of casual employees who cover sick days, it’s not a big deal. So I chalk it up to a fever dream. He’s probably not mad at all, I’m probably just delirious.
About 30 minutes ago, I open up my phone to call my Ma and complain about dying from the flu. At which point in time I notice that I actually made 4 outgoing calls to the staffing office this morning between 5:48-7AM. And I can only remember one of them.
This leads me to believe that I managed to heroically and deliriously call out of work 4 times in a row. Dude probably thought I was completely blackout drunk, which is very unfair because I was just high on cold medicine and feverish. I’m never going to live this down. FML.
TLDR; Got wicked stoned on cough medicine and in a fever induced delirium managed to call my boss 4 separate times asking for the day off.
Update! Guess who has Mono!!!! Yaaaaaaaay.
dieforestmusic: I was worried that your call was a actually a dream, so this doesn't seem so bad. imo better to be annoying than to no-call-no-show.
i_worstofall: Yeah, I just tapped on this notification because the title reminded me of a time I called out sick, and then settled back into my sweaty, feverish, nightmarish fugue, relieved I’d gotten that out of the way; the next day I discovered I only THOUGHT I’d called out. Accidentally pulled a no-call-no-show. I still cringe about it.
evileyeball: I've called in sick twice in my life and I would not have the second time if my wife hadn't forced my hand knowing I was sicker than I believed I was (I thought I could do it sick because I work from home and wouldnt get anyone else sick)
bigCinoce: If you work from home you don't really have to call in sick..
XMilkyMoo: You can be too sick to do your job properly even if contagion isn't a worry. I'd hate to be on a call with a client while loopy from a fever.
| 6 | 288.333333 | |
1669498401 | 1669506639 | t3_z5ilho | t5_2to41 | 43 | Itchy-Ad1530: TIFU by shaving my hair instead of just cut it.
I work in an offshore oil rig company as a safe technician and have been embarked two weeks ago onboard, but because I’m a safe technician I have other job giving trainings and certifications in my vacation time that pay an extra good money. So last time when I disembarked, I starts a certification class for my company that kept busy for almost two weeks, means I spent almost my entire vacation working and no time for even breath and since I spent my off time with wife and kids I forgot to cut my hair.
So, two weeks onboard and my hair growth like a bush. I asked a friend of mine to cut a little bit of it, he is used to cut hair of some guys here. I went to him and asked him, he said yes and cuted my hair...the thing is, I hated the style he did, so I returned to my cabin and decide to "adjust" a little bit with a scissor... I started cutting a little bit of the top, then a little more from the wings and a little bit of the front. When I got a second mirror, I saw the disaster. The places where I cuted became holes and I despair and since the mistake was done, I decide to just lower the size of the hair and I starts cutting all… Big mistake! At the end my hair was like something between Bozo the Clown and Trump in the wind.
Then I became angry and just starts shaving the head since no more options.
Now I'm just bald and everybody is calling me Uncle Fester.
I sent a pic of my shaved head to my wife and she just reply: You be better pray for some hair grow if you want to enter home when you disembark. I disembark in 2 days from now.
tl;dr: I forgot to cut my hair and now I become the Uncle Fester.
jhystad: Haha. From one cue ball to another, don't worry about it. It grows back. I find shaving my head to be very practical and efficient. Fortunately I can pull it off. I just have the right shape of head for it. I'm sure your wife will grow to love it.
MikeyMBCA: I'm fortunate to be one of the ones with a head shape that looks good bald, as well.
Good thing too, since I can no longer cultivate on my head what grows wild everywhere else.
My choices are either bald everywhere, or Krusty the Clown.
Itchy-Ad1530: LOl.
| 4 | 10.75 | |
1669504549 | 1669582813 | t3_z5kzce | t5_2to41 | 3,525 | anisocoria7: TIFU by power-washing my butthole with Clorox
Today I fucked up. I saw it coming, but I did it anyway.
Earlier today I decided to do some anal prep, because I have my mind set on hot times with my BF this weekend. Afterwards, I started cleaning the house for his arrival. I decide to put some Clorox toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet, as well as in the bidet sprayers, because there is some moldy looking stuff in there. I walked away to let it sit for a bit and had a tea.
About an hour ago my stomach started gurgling and I assumed some of the excess water from my prep sesh was probably ready to come out. So I go to the toilet, do my business, and use the bidet as I normally would. The second I turned the sprayer on I realized my fuck up. My spine went all tingly. I froze in shock and horror for a few seconds before jumping in the shower. My butthole was burning and stinging. I ran cold water over it for a good 5 minutes. When I stopped and could still feel the burning. I figured it was time to use the enema bottle again in case any shot way up there. I did that another 3x and the burning seems to have stopped... Or else I've just numbed everything?
I have cleaned the bidet sprayers this way before and made a mental note to thoroughly rinse before using it again. Guess I had better find a new method. I'm now a little hesitant to put anything else up there, especially my BF's dick, in case I scorch that too.
Sigh. The things we do for love... And anal.
TL;DR, TIFU by using a Clorox-soaked bidet sprayer to clean my butthole, and now I can't do anal.
harleyspoison267: Perhaps baking soda and vinegar in the future? Vinegar is great for cleaning, much cheaper, and even though it's not pleasant to consume or have on your skin, it won't do serious damage. Also may want to try a warm soap and water enema so the basic chemical reaction can combat the more acidic? Not an expert on enemas though. Then you could probably safely do things without worrying about injuring BF with leftover chemicals.
Kasstato: Do NOT put soap up your ass!!! You should only be putting water in an enema please for the love of got do not use soap
Eric1969: My tought also. Soap is the cellular equivalent of a carpet bombing.
Yo_2T: Yup, did this when I was younger and not knowing any better. Even the mildest soap will burn like hell fire in your colon.
Eric1969: U know how soap kills microbes (or any live cell it contacts)? It pops the lipid layer that constitute their outer boundary. That would be like flaying and deboning a human at the same time.
Yo_2T: So is our normal skin just more resistant to that? Or does soap actually peel some layers but we don't feel it due to how thick the skin is.
Eric1969: Normal skin has a layer of momified dead skin cells that shields it from abrasion and cheminal stress. I think the word is « keratinised ».
It’s not as vulnerable to detergent because it’s not made of fat.
| 8 | 440.625 | |
1669508057 | 1669508860 | t3_z5m9yh | t5_2to41 | 279 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting really drunk and losing all my friends
[deleted]
be-incredible: You should apologize sincerely. And now you know you also should not drink because evidently you are a mean drunk.
Ozwentdeaf: Apologizing was the first thing i did. I feel the most awful about how they must be feeling.
Yeah im definitely not drinking again. At least i have learned from this.
SeaTale6353: I had the same thing happen to me, luckily I kept most of the friends due to them being understanding, but I heavily regulate my drinking to only drinks that work from me so I never really get more than tipsy.
Ozwentdeaf: Im glad to hear you kept yours.
Maybe mine will be ok, but it will never be the same again will it?
SeaTale6353: Something slightly changes, but in time things will reach a new normal that everyone's comfortable with, you can't change the past but by apologising and being more organised in the future it'll be ok, and you'll reach a sort of inner peace about it that's usually matched by your friends :)
| 6 | 46.5 | |
1669512376 | 1669521526 | t3_z5ntal | t5_2to41 | 136 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a pastor who is dying of terminal cancer that her husband is cheating on her.
[deleted]
goodforabeer: Who is Jeff?
i_worstofall: I have absolutely no idea what is going on here.
umadbraugh: She just wanted everyone to know that Thomas is Jeff. Jeff is his real name.
TrixicAcePolyamEnby: No, no, no...that's the other Jeff. We're talking about Jeff R, who is the father of Thomas (who, incidentally, goes by "Tom").
Tom is Jeff R.'s son.
i_worstofall: Ohhhhh! Jeff R Tom Thomas! He wrote The Green Mile, right?
walk_through_this: I know a Tom. He was my first friend on MySpace.
| 7 | 19.428571 | |
1669512248 | 1669753940 | t3_z5nrqp | t5_2to41 | 175 | emperorarg: TIFU by introducing my cat to the corridor of my apartment building.
I got my cat almost 6 years ago. When I got her she was very skittish around others she didn’t know but was inquisitive.
I live in an apartment building and my apartment is 12-15 feet from the garbage disposal chute for my floor. Every night around 11:30 pm, I go and throw out the trash for the day while leaving the door to my apartment open as I’m gone for 20-30 seconds only.
For the first 8-9 months my cat wouldn’t come near the front door as she’d heard some work being done in a few apartments opposite to me. However, she then started coming close to the front door and on one particular day she poked her head out of my front door to see a brand new world. At that precise moment, some shithead from above my floor threw a piece of furniture down the garbage chute resulting in a jarring noise that terrified my cat so badly that she scurried off and hid under by bed for the rest of the night. She then stayed away from the front door for a week.
Eventually her inquisitive nature got the better of her and she wanted to have another go at this new world. She proceeded to poke her head out of the front door and visually inspect the corridor. She did this every night for a couple of weeks and I would leave her to watch the corridor from my door.
She eventually got the courage to cross the rubicon to the corridor a few days later but would scurry back if she heard any noise out of the ordinary. Over the next 3 months she started to get bolder and started to mark every door frame to every apartment and the elevators with her scent. If she see’s someone she would crouch down and dash to my apartment as if her tail was on fire – [https://imgur.io/a/P0TeGnW](https://imgur.io/a/P0TeGnW)
She then started to wait for me around 11:30 by the front door to let her out so she could roll on the floor - [https://imgur.io/a/GbYQqIV](https://imgur.io/a/GbYQqIV) .This went on for about 2-3 months until the building superintendent saw my cat outside and yelled at me saying that my cat shouldn’t be in the corridor. I then kept my cat away from the corridor for a month and had to see her sad face whenever I prevented her from exploring.
The security guards who patrol every floor of my building each night don’t care about my cat but my super does. Unfortunately for my super, he got fired as a great number of tenants complained about him bullying them. By this time my cat would spend 10 min or so every night patrolling the corridor.
Well, that was then and this is my daily routine now considering that I work from home–
5:30-6:00 – Woken up by the cat who wants breakfast and a stroll in the corridor.
8:00- 8:15 – She wants to sit by the door and watch kids head off to school. As soon as they get in the elevator, she runs to it to try and figure out where they went. The video here shows her in one of these except that the person who went into the elevator is an adult. [https://imgur.io/a/iXBvixw](https://imgur.io/a/iXBvixw)
10:15 – After my new super comes to every floor to make sure nothing is left on the garbage disposal unit’s floor as part of his daily task, my cat need to patrol the corridor once again.
3:45-4:00 – She wants to sit outside my door and watch the kids come home from school.
5:30 – She wants to watch the adults come home from work.
9:00-Dinner over, she needs to patrol the corridor once more.
11:30-12:00 – This is the main event where she wants to be let out for 20-30 min every night to mark her scent on every door.
If I’m awake at 1:30 am – she wants out again.
Whenever she wants out, she usually sits by the door and yowls until I come and if I don’t let her out, she swipes at me. If I have the door to my room closed, she sits outside it and yowls or sticks her paw under it until I come and take her out. Video evidence of said shenanigans and her marking the doors with her scent [https://imgur.io/a/s8T6pKw](https://imgur.io/a/s8T6pKw)
All in, I spend 90-120 min with her in the corridor. My neighbours all know my cat and don’t mind but I have an exam to study for and can’t afford this.
Oh, She has gotten locked outside 3 times for upto 30 min a time by accident over the past 2 years and as soon as she comes in she wants out within 2-3 hours.
Ps. Whenever I return home from the shops or the gym, this is what I can expect. [https://imgur.io/a/t5ApU0K](https://imgur.io/a/t5ApU0K)
EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.
TLDR- used to leave the front door open while I went to throw the trash every day and now my cat thinks that the corridor to my apartment is part of my house and wants to go out on demand. FML
291000610478021: >Over the next 3 months she started to get bolder and started to mark every door frame to every apartment and the elevators with her scent
What the fuck OP?
emperorarg: Cats mark their scent by rubbing their face on the object they want to mark as their own.
291000610478021: Oh. In my mind, she was spraying
emperorarg: Some members of the feline family do spray to mark their territory. I would be homeless if that's what my cat did on a daily basis LOL
Sunnygurrl: Domestic cats spray too, just FYI. They only stop when altered. Source: I've had cats my entire life and they'd spray before being fixed, but couldn't after, though they will try! 🤣🤣
| 6 | 29.166667 | |
1668098105 | 1668152344 | t3_yrkc82 | t5_2to41 | 22,374 | YuPromisedButtStuff: TIFU by accidentally calling child services on my neighbor.
I moved into a new apartment in July. The building is brand new. I’m on the 2nd floor.
There is a commercial space below me. They’ve been doing construction on that space for a few weeks now. There’s loud noise from the construction that starts at 7:00am and goes until 4pm most weekdays. Some days they start before 7am (this is important to know.) It’s loud. It freaks out my cat, and makes the daytime challenging.
I work from home. Many times, during business calls, I have to keep stopping my call and muting my mic because the construction is too loud.
The law here states that construction noise must be during the hours of 7am until 6pm during the week. So it’s legal to have the noise during those hours. Sucks, but it’s legal.
I reiterate, I’ve been very frustrated with the noise.
But not just the construction noise. Above me is a dog that barks for 30 minutes at a clip periodically throughout the day. And my next door neighbor has a young child that screams and screams (as children often do, I get it.) It’s all just overwhelming sometimes and very frustrating.
They’ve been starting the construction noise before 7am a few days this week.
Today, at 6:50AM, I had enough. I was tired, I was pissed, and my cat was freaking out.
So I called the NYC complaint line (311) to file a noise complaint since I know the construction shouldn’t start until 7am.
I tell the operator the situation. I’m doing a little venting saying “you operators worked from home during the pandemic, imagine trying to get your job done while loud noise is coming from three different directions.”
So, we go through everything. The operator opened a ticket with the appropriate construction agency to make sure they address the work noise.
She then asks about the dog and the child screaming.
I tell her about it.
Well, here’s the fuck up.
Apparently, the child screaming triggered a mandatory report for a child wellness check. I told her “NO, I didn’t want to do that” but it appears that I said the right keywords or something that they had concerns about child neglect.
Fuck.
I tried to stop it.
Well, the POLICE arrived about 20 minutes ago to the next door neighbors’ apartment to do a wellness check.
I overheard the woman saying “tell me who reported it!” but the police were saying “it was anonymous.”
Eventually, the police said, “Hey, we get it, kids scream but we have to follow up on the report someone left.”
Now, I have my new neighbor probably livid that someone called the cops on her because her kid is “loud.” I’ve never met her. It wasn’t my intention to have the fricken cops come. I just wanted the construction noise to stop.
TL;DR - I submitted a noise complaint for construction and accidentally called the cops on a screaming toddler.
AcrobaticSource3: Are you sure these were 3 different situations? Maybe the child was screaming at the dog for doing poor construction work
FG88_NR: In my experience, children are basically site supervisors and dogs are shit with hammers. So you're probably on the right track.
YoshiSan90: That’s not always true. They make great “roofers”
ButtercupsUncle: The long hours are ruff too.
PsychedelicMustard: But they can work nonstop. No paws.
Shaburu07: Until they start licking their balls.
Wait, am I doing this right?
ButtercupsUncle: One of the perks
n1_egsex: it's pretty furnominal
mmmkay938: No bones about it.
| 10 | 2,237.4 | |
1669522347 | 1669651837 | t3_z5r7gh | t5_2to41 | 991 | thebluestblueberry: TIFU by letting my mother-in-law think I’m raising a Nazi
My husband and I recently moved closer to his family after living across the country for ten years. We had a baby in January and wanted him to grow up with his cousins nearby.
This morning, I was in my son’s nursery after breakfast and we were playing and singing. Being an ex m-theater kid, I decided to put on show tunes through my smart speaker to sing along to.
My doorbell rings and my mother-in-law had come to drop some things off at our house for the baby. We have a short conversation and she goes into the nursery to see the baby while I go to the kitchen to finish cleaning up breakfast. She stays for a five minutes or so and then leaves in a bit of a rush, but nothing too out of the ordinary. I go about my day as usual.
This evening, my husband mentioned that his mother had talked to him and was concerned about the type of music that I was letting our child listen to. I was confused and asked what he was talking about. He said that his mother said I was playing pro-nazi propaganda for the baby when she stopped by earlier.
I was shocked and called immediately to confront her. She explained that she heard a song in the nursery that said “Don't be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi party” and other pro-nazi lyrics.
I started laughing and explained it was from a musical and I was not raising the next generation of war criminal. We were both relieved and we plan to watch the movie version of the show together.
tl;dr: “Springtime for Hilter” came on the speaker in my nursery during a random playlist and my mother-in-law thought I was raising s pro-nazi baby.
redbucket75: This could have ended so much worse, like she comes up to you "I'm so glad, I wasn't sure if my son had told you about our... Affiliation"
misaka-8888: >420 likes ，nice～
OnlyFuckPotatos: Gave it a down vote, so it is at 420 again
| 4 | 247.75 | |
1669524910 | 1669525610 | t3_z5s1qm | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU this is the last time I'm posting this if it's not going through f*** you all
[deleted]
Enrageder: this is like a fever dream wth
Proud-Subject-104: Since you seem to have common on my post what happened was I was trying to find out for s**** and giggles how to text on a dial pad like on a old flip phone I held down one and it called voicemail I hung up right away it said there was two seconds of conversation and I hope I haven't screwed up and recorded 2 seconds of nothing otherwise if I did screw up how do I fix this I attempted to post the same thing two times and I kept getting pulled down for b******* reasons
andrewta: Punctuation Is not a crime.
I’m not even picky on how you end a sentence. Use a bunch of/// if you want.
Just separate sentences
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1669528026 | 1669529771 | t3_z5t18n | t5_2to41 | 40 | Throwaway695033: TIFU by deleting a snapchat message
So there's a girl \[19?F\] I \[20M\] know who I'm fairly friendly with but aren't super close to. Anyway, asked her to a college dance, she said she wanted to go, but ended up being too busy. No problem, all cool. Thank her anyway and move on.
Now here's the fuckup. She's a cute girl and single, and so I was like why not try to make something happen? So I also message back we should hang out sometime. She agrees and says we should study together for finals. So I'm like awesome, I'm not on this app (snapchat) much, so you mind if I get your number?
And she doesn't reply for 3 days (still hasen't). My plan was to study together sometime, and then ask her to get coffee in person. But clearly things weren't exactly going as planned, so I assume the worst.
Last night for whatever reason I'm up at 3 AM, and I'm thinking about life, and where I am in my love life. And after thinking for a while I get the epiphany that I need time to focus on myself. So in a moment of idiocy I'm like fuck it, and go and delete the message I sent her (three days ago mind you, that hadn't been opened), because in my tired mind at the time I was like, no need to potentially get involved in anything.
Of course today I wake up and it dawns on me that not only did I send this girl a message that she ignored for 3 days, but I also deleted said message, which apparently sends another notification, and even worse it shows I deleted the message today.
Now she did mention through talking that she just isn't on snapchat much, which I can believe kind of, but with my luck, she definitely saw the message and ignored it, and then cringely saw me delete said message days later when it was ignored.
I think my only option at this point is to walk off a cliff, and pray I never see her face again.
TL;DR: Messaged a girl who I was friendly with and asked for her number, got ignored, deleted message out of moment of clarity, and realized how much of a loser it made me look like from her perspective.
hgr129: Man your overthinking shit. Either hit her up off snap and explain what happened or just move on.
You said yourself no need to involve yourself in uncesssary drama. Just move on you shot your shot and it didn't work out so either it will later or you need to catch another fish
Throwaway695033: How do you explain that tho dude???
“Hey sorry I asked for you number actually but then deleted the message bc I realized I didn’t actually need”
But I mean you’re right yea, I wish I would’ve just left things alone lmao, instead of making them more awkward.
I have no clue how to even message her now though. I have no excuse to message her again.
ZOMBIEoftheDAWN: I'd ignore it unless she asks what I deleted. Then say, oh it was a question for someone else or a question I got the answer to and didn't want to waste your time. I've deleted messages with my closest friends for those reasons 🤷
Throwaway695033: Good point fair enough. Do I message her again though and just be like hey are you free to hangout and study XYZ day?
My secret worry is that she somehow saw the message without opening it, freaked out, and ignored it lmao. In which case that would make things insanely awkward. I don’t even know if that’s possible though.
ZOMBIEoftheDAWN: She never opened it. If she's been on snap and still hasn't opened your message then she's just not interested in you and I'd delete contact and move on. If it's just she hasn't been on snap then sure, shoot your shot and ask if she would like to hang out, see a movie, do dinner. Just my opinion though
Throwaway695033: Fair point. I guess now I just need to figure that out.
She seems honest enough and I don’t think she’d lie, and I don’t see her post to her story on there very often, although she has a high snap score lmao. I’ll investigate a bit and if I think she just hasn’t been on there, I’ll wait to message her next week and say hey are you free to study together at X time? And see how it goes. And if the deleted message somehow comes up just during the texting just use your excuse lmao.
| 7 | 5.714286 | |
1669528745 | 1669584122 | t3_z5t8qp | t5_2to41 | 2,199 | scoobledooble314159: TIFU by making mac n cheese
My new husband and I had to move in with my parents unexpectedly 2 days after saying "I Do". Its been pretty stressful and my sleep is all messed up, so its midnight and Im doom scrolling. So I went to the kitchen to make mac n cheese like 20 min ago. Mom and dad had music blasting outside, laughing, whatever. This is nothing new for them. They were drinking at a friends house and came home tipsy. I looked out the door to tell them its super loud and turn it down, and I saw them FULL FRONTAL NAKED getting out of the pool. I left my Mac n cheese in the microwave and ran to my bedroom like a traumatized child. My husband is dead asleep and I am SO HUNGRY AND NAUSEOUS at the same time.
If you need me, I'll be bleaching the sight of pubic hair and paternal peen from the folds of my brain.
Happy Thanksgiving.
TL:DR : I caught my parents getting out of the pool naked and saw it all while microwaving mac n cheese.
Edits:
1. We are American. Americans don't like family nudity. We avoid it at all costs once the kids can comment/remember your genitals. *My parents would have a worse reaction if the roles were reversed.* "The talk" consisted of a video from the library and "any questions?" for crying out loud.
>>A. My husband mentioned finding underwear on the floor and my mother is mortified. See? It's not just me.
2. The music was concert-level loud. I was more concerned for the neighbors. They have little ones who need to sleep.
3. Yes I know how lucky I am. This was more satirical than anything. Yes I know I'm being dramatic. Issa joke. But also... see #1.
4. Most importantly... the mac n cheese was already made. Americans just celebrated Thanksgiving and we have a lot of left overs. The mac n cheese in question was made with shell pasta and a combination of manchego, sharp cheddar, and another cheese I can't remember. Mom topped it with a home made combination of seasonings and panko bread crumbs. I was reheating it.... as one does with a microwave.
Seezig: Until you moved in 2 days ago, were they empty nesters? Because they probably forgot what they’re supposed to do with kids in the house again.
vrenak: Kids shouldn't be marrying, and adults should be able to handle seeing a naked body.
Seezig: Correct. We are empty nesters and I’m pretty sure we’ve been naked since the kids moved out. They know better than to show up unannounced.
vrenak: And if they do, they shouldn't be traumatised by it.
needathrowaway321: Seriously, who the fuck actually gets traumatized by nudity and then posts online about it. We're all humans and we have naughty bits, nbd. OP has two living parents that still get it on, and let them into their home with a new spouse. OP is so fucking lucky and doesn't even know it. Frustrating to read.
-Cinnay-: I think you're making a lot of assumptions there, that's not what the post was about at all. And I don't think it's weird for someone to not want to see their parents naked.
BangBangMeatMachine: I agree that not wanting to see your parents naked is reasonable. I think there's a difference between not wanting that and "I'll be bleaching the sight of pubic hair and paternal peen from the folds of my brain."
-Cinnay-: Do you know what a hyperbole is?
BangBangMeatMachine: Nope, never heard of 'em. What genre are they?
-Cinnay-: It means "exaggeration", go to school.
BangBangMeatMachine: Have you ever heard of sarcasm?
-Cinnay-: Yes. And, other than you apparently, I usually know how to use it properly.
BangBangMeatMachine: Yeah you seem like a chill dude.
| 14 | 157.071429 | |
1669529503 | 1669530559 | t3_z5thh4 | t5_2to41 | 47 | WindowOpenWide: TIFU by going too far in disciplining a spoiled brat
[removed]
GeekyTricky: You didn't discipline a whining child.
You got pissed at the whining and bullied her as a result. Bullied her by using her medical issues and racial origin as a pain point.
These are the things others will also use against her and she will probably feel shame and pain about.
You're an absolute idiot for doing this. She's just a little kid, you should've known better.
[deleted]: This! Had to check his age again because he behaved like a child, bullying other people in this manner.
Everyone has the right to speak their native language, no matter where they are.
| 3 | 15.666667 | |
1669532555 | 1669555923 | t3_z5udq4 | t5_2to41 | 536 | blameitonpatricia: TIFU by removing my period cup
Happened yesterday but it still feels brand new.
So, we have a guest staying over and she went into the loo and left a poo that didn’t flush away.
I go in after her (gave it 10 mins to air out first lol) to pee and remove my period cup. I thought about flushing it first but decided to just do my thing and flush afterwards. We have water problems so didn’t want to waste water unnecessarily.
And that’s where I fucked up.
My period cup slipped out of my hand and fell into the toilet. And so I had to put my hand in to fish it out. Which is already disgusting but I had to do it.
And then…I ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED THE POO.
I touched somebody else’s poop. It’s been hours and the memory of the slightly rough and bumpy surface is etched into my brain. I find it hilarious but also soul crushingly horrible.
Tldr; I accidentally dropped my period cup into the toilet, which had a poop in it. Went to fish it out and ended up touching the poo.
OkVolume1: One girl, one cup..
blameitonpatricia: I wish I could under this comment
SpaceWoman80: You do NOT want to understand this comment.
FrosTxNoVa420: Think she meant undo!
blameitonpatricia: *unsee
And unfortunately I do understand the comment 😂
| 6 | 89.333333 | |
1669535186 | 1669536633 | t3_z5v4h6 | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving period blood all over the restaurant.
[deleted]
NobleCorgi: Oh dear every one’s nightmare. 😩
diabolikul1: as a male id be horrified if this happened to me /s
| 3 | 11.666667 | |
1669545822 | 1669573718 | t3_z5y6g2 | t5_2to41 | 113 | nyoomur: TIFU by sending my mom NSFW drawings.
I’m supposed to be drawing images for her book and I sent the images to her. She called me while laughing after a while and I was very confused since the drawings for the book weren’t really funny. I later found out that I had sent furry porn. Bendy porn. The cover wasn’t the worst so I hope she closed them after seeing that one. But I had other ones. (It was 4 am when I did those) Literally the worst things you can imagine. I immediately deleted them and now currently suffering in my room since some of those drawings were HIGHLY nsfw. The best option is that they haven’t seen all of them because some of them weren’t that horrible. She’s currently doing her work like nothing happened and I hope or the love of god, she didn’t see the last slide.
I’m pretty sure furry porn is not supposed to be in her book about birth.
TLDR; Sent my mom porn drawings while trying to send her two images for her book. Hoping she didn’t open all of them.
EvilAbed1: She laughed?
My mom would’ve been very angry and grossed out if I sent her furry porn. Especially if I had drawn it.
nyoomur: Not fully furry porn I guess, but you know those catgirls and shit- I was so scared I immediately deleted all of them so I have no idea and want to keep these out of my mind 😭😭😭
As4shi: Out of curiosity, how far in the [furry chart](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/914/468/7e7.jpg) was it?
shoulda-known-better: This is the greatest chart ever
nyoomur: Username checks out
| 6 | 18.833333 | |
1669557431 | 1669573435 | t3_z61ueo | t5_2to41 | 14,013 | MrLightningB0lt: TIFU by not being able to maintain an erection with my GF
Just weeks ago I was still a 26 y/o virgin, had been single for over 7 years, it was just that I decided to focus on other things, plus it's unusual for me to really like a girl. But I consumed a lot of porn, almost on a daily basis, and as you may know, it creates that necessity to comsume more extreme things gradually to get aroused.
So I finally found a girl which I really like and she likes me back, after some weeks of dating we are getting intimate in my house but when the time finally came I couldn't get hard, even though I usually get hard in inappropriate times when we're kissing somewhere else. She was really supportive and told me nice things, and that we could do it when I was ready, so we just cuddled and went to eat. That same day we decided to give it another chance and I managed to do it but was concentraring the entire time not to lose it.
Two weeks later we are doing it again, and I could do it at first (though concentrating really hard) but after some interruption I lost it and couldn't get it up again. This time she looked a bit sad and after I insisted a little she tells me if I don't really like her that much and that she is insecure and is not really feeling desired, so I feel really bad because I know she is not the problem and I like her really much and don't want her to think that kind of stuff.
Now, I think I'm not physically disfunctional because I still get hard watching porn and when we are kissing, it's just when that time comes that I can't get hard, and I don't really know why, I have some insecurities so I may get nervous, but my strongest theory is because of the porn I mentioned earlier, I researched a little and found some things that link it to ED.
Tl;dr: I made my GF feel bad because I couldn't get hard, and I think it's because of porn adiction.
Edit: I forgot to say that I'm going to cut all porn and not masturbate, though I don't know how long it will take to get my brain rewired, but I really like her and want to have a healthy relationship with her.
2nd Edit: I just googled death grip syndrome and I think I have it too, forgot to say that the two times I could do it with her I never even came close to orgasm, and that's another thing she told me made her insecure, she thinks she's not making me feel good enough.
3rd Edit: Thanks to everyone for your comments, I honestly didn't expect this amount of comments and support, and I assure you I'm taking the time to read them all even if I don't reply each of them.
mrlazyboy: You’re nervous.
Be open with your girlfriend and tell her that you really like her, think she’s beautiful and sexy, but you are nervous about having sex.
Communication will solve this problem.
There are many things you can do together. You can have a glass of wine or two before trying to relax a bit. Same goes if you want to smoke pot.
You can masturbate together which is highly underrated, plus it lets you feel more comfortable in front of each other.
Iucidium: OP needs to mention the porn addiction
mrlazyboy: I think that’s premature given OP doesn’t necessarily know it’s an addiction.
Watching porn and masturbating are perfectly healthy activities and we shouldn’t shame somebody for partaking.
We also don’t know if porn is causing OP some mild ED or it’s nerves. Given he can get aroused during kissing/foreplay but goes soft when it’s time to have sex, I’d argue for nerves in the absence of a medical diagnosis.
At this point, we don’t even know if OPs porn consumption is a contributing factor.
Iucidium: OP stated he consumes porn daily and has had to increased its intensity to reach arousal.
mrlazyboy: Unless you personally know OP, sit next to them during their porn sessions, and watch them intently as they masturbate and reach climax, all you are doing is speculating (which is the best we can do on Reddit).
For all we know, OP has a kink they are too embarrassed to post about. Maybe they need BDSM to reach full arousal. There are so many things that go into it.
Communicating with his girlfriend and also potentially speaking with a doctor are the right moves.
It could totally be the case that OP thinks they have a porn addiction, but it’s really just performance anxiety. There’s no reason to “confess” to something that OP doesn’t even know to be true.
Performance anxiety is real especially for people inexperienced with sex.
Iucidium: That first paragraph was totally unnecessary. I'm just writing what OP put in his post.
mrlazyboy: I’m sorry that you find it unnecessary, but my point still stands and you need to accept that.
Unless you have all the intimidate details and feelings that OP experiences when they are watching porn and masturbating, you’re proposing solutions to a problem that simply might not exist
Billy-BigBollox: OP said he consumes porn on a daily basis and finds the need to search for more extreme material to find satisfaction. That's a porn addiction.
mrlazyboy: Are you a medical doctor with experience in porn addiction that can actually diagnose this, or are you an armchair redditor trying to give medical advice with no qualifications?
Billy-BigBollox: I'm someone who can read a dictionary. What he's describing is the textbook definition of addiction:
addiction
[noun]
ad·dic·tion [ə-ˈdik-shən ]
1
: a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects and typically causing well-defined symptoms (such as anxiety, irritability, tremors, or nausea) upon withdrawal or abstinence : the state of being addicted
2
: a strong inclination to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly
bropoke2233: TIL we don't need no stinking doctors or medical professionals when we've got the good ol dictionary
Billy-BigBollox: You should work on your reading comprehension if that's what you think my comments are trying to say.
bropoke2233: it can be upsetting to realize that you have implied that a dictionary definition is on par with a diagnosis from a medical professional, but this is what you have done.
| 14 | 1,000.928571 | |
1668487435 | 1668508006 | t3_yvn2ye | t5_2to41 | -14 | [deleted]: TIFU by not just getting an abortion,
[removed]
twsedf8: Welcome to the real world. Sometimes we make bad choices, like having unprotected sex, and we have to deal with the consequences…real consequences that affect other people (eg. your child). Your mother is trying to protect you from making more bad choices, see it from her side no matter how hard it is. If you sit down and ask her for the right resources…like how to care for a baby…I’m sure she’ll be glad to help. In the meantime, drink lots of water and stay calm. TLDR: This isn’t high school any more.
fortpatches: Just FYI, due to age differences, she was raped (as defined in most states).
twsedf8: Age difference? They’re both in high school. If she didn’t consent to anything, then yes that’s definitely rape and the dude needs to be taken out back and taught a lesson…but if she did consent then there’s consequences for having unprotected sex…what you do with those consequences is up for debate.
| 4 | -3.5 | |
1669564235 | 1669673298 | t3_z64if8 | t5_2to41 | -5 | ioncarelol: TIFU by saying 'Men are born drivers' infront of my two senior female co-workers. TL;DR
[removed]
Harry_Gorilla: People shouldn’t assume that you meant to imply the opposite of what you say. Unless you really emphasized “*MEN*” and made a knowing look at all the women around you or w/e. It’s like if you said “I like rain in the summer.” That statement doesn’t imply or insinuate that you don’t like rain at other times, or that you do like other weather at other times.
That said… the common bias that women are worse drivers than men is well known, so there is a case that you should have known better. You didn’t say anything offensive, and she’s projecting her own issues into what you said
Plenty_Intention1991: This is the wrong take and I’m afraid your logic is a bit warped. Talking about rain in the summer isn’t the same thing. It’s fine to say you like something if that’s your preference but Summer isn’t the same qualifier as driver. For example he could have even said “I like males in the Summer” and there would be no issue, but if he says “I like male doctors” the qualifier of a specific job or task is where it becomes a problem.
Harry_Gorilla: From a purely logical stand point: no. But we don’t treat gender logically, which was more my point. I wasn’t equating summer to anything, but illustrating that OP’s audience had only heard the opposite of what he said. The important/relevant bit was inferring something about the opposite of what was actually said, as OP’s audience appears to have done.
It’s super weird that it’s fine to jump to this conclusion, that someone intended the contra positive of what they said, if a statement is about or includes a group of people, but not any other time
Plenty_Intention1991: But every statement of opinion is inherently two sided don’t you think? By saying that you are in favor of anything you’re also saying that you aren’t necessarily in favor of something else. For example if you loved every flavor of ice cream then you’re unlikely to say unprompted that you like rocky road ice cream. Because there would be no point in singling out that flavor if you thought they were all equal. Just like if you thought all humans were born with an innate ability to drive then you wouldn’t specify men. I understand that in this case he was just using a saying that he’s probably heard somewhere but if someone hasn’t heard that saying before then they might be looking at it from a different perspective and to them it sounds biased or prejudicial.
| 5 | -1 | |
1669007940 | 1669076673 | t3_z0qdag | t5_2to41 | 2,590 | throwaway33626: TIFU by hurting my dad’s girlfriend
tl;dr: I pushed my dad’s girlfriend whenever she tried to take something from me, but accidentally pushed too hard and she hit a wall.
Last winter, I (13m) had a small growth spurt and outgrew the long sleeve shirts I used for pijamas when it’s cold. My dad let me borrow one of his sweaters since it was too late to run to the store and get one. Since it was pretty oversized, I found it very comfy and just asked if I could borrow his. He told me yes and to just go in his room and grab them whenever I wanted.
Skip to this year, my dad was at a thanksgiving thing for work. His girlfriend recently moved in, so she was at the house with me. Before I took a shower, I went in his room to grab the sweater I use the most, and as I was leaving the room she walked in. She told me to put it back and that I was basically stealing. When I tried to tell her, she just said “bullshit” and tried to take it from me. I tried to pull away but she grabbed me, so I pushed her off of me. She slammed into the wall and started sobbing. When i tried to apologize, she screamed at me to get away from her, I left the sweater and went to my room.
She hasn’t mentioned anything to my dad yet, but I’m scared she will. I’m scared that he’ll hate me. I bad because I didn’t mean to hurt her, I just didn’t like that she grabbed me.
Blueexd333: **OP, you did nothing wrong! She**, whether she'd like that word or not, **ATTACKED you** after giving herself permission to tell you what you can and cannot do in YOUR home **and you defended yourself.**
You're 13. You're old enough to understand what you can and cannot take from your father and you knew you were allowed to borrow sweaters. I'd understand her if she saw you taking money/expensive objects, then she could give herself a permission to try and stop you (although even then she should just inform your father).
**She didn't tell your father because she knows** it was not her place to intervene and that **what she did was child abuse.** You were lucky enough to somewhat overpower her and get away from it, but it does not make you a bad person. It was very nice and mature of you to apologize, but she should be the one apologizing to you. You basically apologized for trying to protect yourself.
*Talk to your father. Tell him what happened. Let him talk to her about it.**
Not_ToBe_Rude_But: A lot of people here are putting a lot of faith in the word of a 13 year old boy hahaha. How do you know his dad hasn't expressly asked his girlfriend to help with the parenting/disciplining. Also, since when is grabbing someone considered an attack? Also, how do you know the kid actually has permission to go in his Dad's closet whenever he wants? Maybe his Dad is super annoyed by his kid always taking his sweaters ever since he asked ONE time months ago, and the girlfriend knows it. Maybe she didn't actually GRAB him violently, but just kind of tried to stop him from walking away from her as she's trying to talk to him. Grabbing a kid is not child abuse, holy shit.
The key here is obviously to talk to the father. But the kid hasn't said anything either. Clearly he knows what she did didn't necessarily warrant being thrown into a wall.
Yeah the girlfriend sounds like maybe she overreacted, but it sounds like the 13 year old might have over escalated it. People here acting like grabbing a kid is child abuse, but also think throwing a woman against a wall is an appropriate reaction to being grabbed. So I guess if my wife ever grabs me I'll just shove her against the wall and post about it on Reddit so everyone thinks it's ok lol
Blueexd333: If anything he said is untrue, then discussing it with his dad will solve the issue.
I always assume kids are honest in those situations, since there is no way for me to verify that AND spending my time wondering about how they lie seems absolutely useless and unhelpful to me. Trying to give a good advice in described situation seems like a better use of my time
Not_ToBe_Rude_But: I agree that the only good advice someone could offer without knowing any of the facts is to talk to the father.
I'm just drawing from my experiences from being a 13 year old boy at one time, and raising a 13 year old boy at one time. They aren't exactly reliable sources of information.
That being said, I'm not saying to just disregard any of this. It definitely deserves a family meeting of some kind. And I do think it sounds like she definitely overreacted about the sweater. I just don't think it's up to any of us who weren't there to accuse this woman of child abuse just because she grabbed a kid who is clearly stronger than her that she thought was taking something without permission.
Ohjay1982: To be fair, the OP never said she attacked him either. He just said she grabbed him as she tried to take the sweater away. “Grabbing” can vary wildly depending on the context.
Not_ToBe_Rude_But: Yeah I agree. That’s why I think it’s a little premature to accuse this woman of child abuse. I mean maybe at least also show some concern that this 14 year old kid “slammed” this woman up against a wall just because “he didn’t like that she grabbed” him. I mean how many times have we heard something similar from men with violent anger issues “oh i didn’t mean to hurt her, I just…” I mean no offense to this kid but maybe there is also a lesson for him to learn here. It’s not automatically an appropriate response to slam someone up against a wall just because they grab you. Too many people on here are so quick to say he did nothing wrong instead of thinking logically that it seems pretty clear they both did something wrong.
chimera4n: I'm an adult, and if another adult grabbed me, I would absolutely push them away from me. He did nothing wrong.
Not_ToBe_Rude_But: if you and your girlfriend were in a fight, and she grabbed your arm to try to take something away from you, you would slam her up against the wall hard enough to make her cry? Cool bro you sound tough af
chimera4n: I'm a grandma, not a bro. That's not what he said happened, He said she grabbed him and he pushed her off him. She had no right putting her hands on him. You sound like a drama queen with your slamming and fighting lol.
Also, I really feel sorry for your kids, it sounds like you don't believe a word they say.
Not_ToBe_Rude_But: he said slammed, not me. Hahaha well if you’re a grandma then I’m a 13 year old boy. Well ok gram, you should know how 13 year old kids are, or were you one of those moms who think their little angel baby does no wrong lol. let me clue you in to something us younger non grandparents know already. On the internet everyone is lying.
chimera4n: * He said that he pushed. As a result of that she slammed. The intent was a push.
* Lol, I've got 2 daughters in their late 30s, and 5 grandkids, ranging from 2 -16.
* No, my kids were not perfect, nobody is, and when they were out of line they had their asses metaphorically kicked.
* I maybe older, but I'm not stupid, I know people lie on the internet, especially on reddit. But if this story is true, she still had no right to put her hands on him.
* What would you do, if you had a son in his situation, and he told you the same story as OP has?
| 12 | 215.833333 | |
1668040507 | 1668160142 | t3_yr0i2x | t5_2to41 | 10,152 | DirtFoot79: TIFU by listening to music with swearing in it with my 4 year old
So I'm listening to some of my favorite music with my 4 year old son, we're dancing singing and having a great time. The next song comes on...Rage Against the Machine, Killing in the name. We keep singing and dancing, having a great time.
"Fuck you I won't do what you tell me,Fuck you I won't do what you tell me,Fuck you I won't do what you tell me" .... and my wife walks in. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" My son keeps singing "fuck you I won't do what you tell me"... She's staring at me with a look that would kill, and probably will kill.
I was so into the music I didn't even notice the lyrics. So I'm here typing this while putting my son to bed.
To all the dad's out there, learn from me. Always think about the lyrics in the music when little ears are around. I'm really happy 2 Live Crew didn't come up in the playlist. I might have gotten in a lot more trouble
TLDR; listened to music with "fuck you" repeated in it over and over with my son, when my wife walked in.
BrightDust2: I listen to this stuff only in the car. The car is the only place my 5 year old is allowed to swear. Turns out to be a great rule.
gendr_bendr: Growing up, my mom’s rule was that us kids were only allowed to swear if we were singing it along with a song. It worked well. I rarely swore otherwise as a kid.
rdyoung: I don't remember at what age it started but we were allowed to swear if it was appropriate. Drop something on your foot? Fucking a you can swear all you want for a bit.
acs730200: That’s how it was with my mom, she doesn’t really care but she hates the word cunt for some reason. My dad on the other hand still snaps at me for saying fuck at the age of 22 and I’m like bro can’t we just move past this lmao
itsjustmefortoday: My dad told me off for saying "oh my god" at a similar age. I told him I'd say oh my god if I want to. I'm fine with the fact he doesn't like swearing and I don't swear around him but that was taking it to far 😂
acs730200: Lmao that’s always an interesting one cuz it’s really not supposed to be that deep…. That said you’ll never catch me “taking the lords name in vain” in front of my grandparents out of a mix of respect and fear
itsjustmefortoday: Yeah I get that if it would be genuinely offensive to someone. My parents are Christian but not church goers so not serious.
| 8 | 1,269 | |
1668047088 | 1668182855 | t3_yr2t0l | t5_2to41 | 40 | rromperstiltskinn: TIFU by inhaling mold through my air purifier
Last weekend I came down with the flu, and it’s started to turn into a nasty cough. In a desperate attempt to clear my sinuses in the middle of the night, I grabbed my humidifier and got set up with a towel over my head to get the most steam. When I went to use it again today, I vaguely remembered a warning about cleaning it regularly before use.
Backstory on the humidifier - I’ve been using it to add more moister to my indoor garden, so it’s gotten constant use for the last three months. Anyways, went to clean it today and found it full of mold/ gunk as soon as I opened it. All I could think about was how I was inhaling this for 20 minutes last night. Lesson learned, clean humidifier regularly before each use. I’m going to to go throw up now.
TLDR; Forgot to clean my excessively used air purifier and spent 20 minutes inhaling vaporized mold-water.
RufusCranium: You're supposed to dry the mold, chop it finely with a razor blade, and snort it.
*THIS IS AN ATTEMPT AT TWISTED HUMOR. DO NOT ACTUALLY TRY THE ABOVE SUGGESTION*
RihhamDaMan: Instructions unclear, now I'm in the emergency room with blood red eyes
| 3 | 13.333333 | |
1668045667 | 1668068773 | t3_yr2b3l | t5_2to41 | 1,723 | justrightkinda: TIFU by calling a hospital code
Obligatory this happened a few months ago.
I'm a medical student, and at the time I was completing a neurology rotation. It was my last day, and I was taking a final cathartic lap around the floor when I peeped into the room of one particular patient. I was under the impression that this patient was unable to move, but they were somehow half off the bed?!!? (still not sure how this happened)
I called out to the Nurse Practitioner (NP) nearby for help. This 4' tall NP is literally the backbone of this floor. She is the actual sorcerer of lumbar punctures. The woman could probably get spinal fluid out of a rock. AKA she is very intimidating to me, a literal weenie of the hospital. She rushes in the help me, and commands me to "PUSH THE RED BUTTON."
"Uhhh... the red button...?" I look around nervously.
"YES, JUST PUSH IT."
"This red button...?" I motion to the only red button I see--the "CALL CODE" button on the wall… I didn't think this was that serious? But I am not one to question the Goddess of the Subarachnoid Space, for I am but a worm.
She doesn't look up as she's helping the patient. "YES JUST PUSH IT."
I hit the button. The floor siren starts going off. You can hear people start sprinting toward the room, yelling out commands in the hallway. The NP looks up, sees my scared-shitless face, and starts laughing. "Not THAT red button! The nurse call button on the remote!" OH. DUH. I think my face is redder than either button at this point. I quickly hit the cancel button, but it was too late. People have already arrived to see me at the scene of the crime, finger only 1 inch from the button.
Thankfully everyone is laughing and joking about how they got their workout in for the day, although I'm sure they were thinking about how much of a dumbass I was. The NP was really kind about it and told everyone she misguided me. But bon voyage to any future career in Neuro!
​
TL;DR I was instructed to hit the nurse help button, but I accidentally called a code instead, further establishing my oafishness as a med student
grixit: Hmm. If this were Grey's Anatomy, you'd find yourself assigned to special observation duty of that patient while having to study their case file until you could explain how they got halfway off the bed. But you'd do such a good job of it that you'd be drafted as assistant to the chief of neuro and in three years you and that nurse would designing a new handheld gadget to measure CNS activity in coma patients.
ThatBoxerLover: And he and that nurse would get married.
kynthrus: While having sex with literally everyone else. I'm 3 seasons in to Grey's Anatomy and if this shit continues Idk if I can take it for 17 more years worth of the show.
grixit: That's quitter talk! Don't let Doctor Bailey hear you say that.
kynthrus: Is her kid a doctor at the hospital by the end of the series?
grixit: >!Meredith's oldest was just diagnosed as a prodigy but after making some college visits, has decided to go into engineering instead of medicine. However, her special interest is robotics which will probably lead her into bionics. The rest of Mredith's brood isn't in high school yet, so who knows? !<
kynthrus: Not gonna read that, but I assume it's "yes."
| 8 | 215.375 | |
1669566139 | 1669595721 | t3_z65bl0 | t5_2to41 | 123 | OyVeyzMeir: TIFU by applying MAXIMUM POWER
Yesterday. This was yesterday. This was DUMB. Setting up some old stereo stuff I'd had in storage for over a decade (divorce, it makes life interesting) and hooked up a small pair of Radio Shack speakers I have had kicking around for twenty years to test the thing. These had a strange tweeter called a "linaeum". Also an old semi powerful speaker amplifier that can push some decent power. (Looks like [this](https://www.audio-high-store.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Mitsubishi-DA-A10DC.jpg)
Things I forgot: The new to me turntable didn't need a special turntable input. My long-unseen pre-amplifier has a turntable input, and is set up for a very low output cartridge (moving coil). Those settings are internal, so you can't see them. When putting old speakers back into service, you REALLY REALLY NEED to pop the grills off and look at them!
All these things combined resulted in the following.
Me, in my excitement, fired everything up, cued up a long stored single (Donald Fagan: I.G.Y.), set the volume to (what i thought was) a moderate level, and dropped the cue lever.
What i got: BBBRRRRRAABBBPZZZAPBLAPBZZZZZCRklcrklbzzzbzzzbzzz
What happened? The didn't-need-to-be-amplified sound from the turntable had been SUPER SUPER DUPER EXTRA AMPLIFIED and then fed into a speaker amplifier that had enough power to nuke the little speakers from orbit. Compounding the FU? The foam speaker surrounds had rotted. The upshot? [LAUNCHED](https://i.imgur.com/ifyAZgl.jpg) THE WOOFER CONES AND SMOKED THE TWEETERS. The spiders even tore off! Never have I ever so thoroughly destroyed equipment this way. I'm seriously bummed because these were really cool old speakers! Thankfully not my only ones though.
TL;DR: Fired up some old equipment, went fuller send than expected, and freed the woofers from captivity.
Imasoldiernotadoctor: We all get a moment in life where we are Bart Simpson for an afternoon. Bask in it.
And hey, if they're already fucked why not go fullest send and see how fun it can get?
Ishidan01: I'm sorry did you mean [Marty McFly?](https://youtu.be/axXrs55X9kE)
MinnieShoof: Think they meant [TESTING](https://youtu.be/oCyXsHC-lQ4)
97203micah: Also, the beginning of MJ’s “Black or White” video
| 5 | 24.6 | |
1669567565 | 1669577962 | t3_z65x5i | t5_2to41 | 176 | [deleted]: TIFU by making it seem like i miss my ex infront of my crush
[deleted]
BakerBeware: You must be in high school…I don’t know any adults that would say my crush
Cute_Unit_3157: I’m 43. The closest I get is my smeigle voice and say my Precious…
| 3 | 58.666667 | |
1668051503 | 1668058756 | t3_yr4ajc | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting sugar daddies online.
[deleted]
neovb: Paragraphs. Please! Paragraphs!!
Longjumping_Pen_272: I'm sorry it's hard to read I went back and added some.
neovb: Thanks. Also, you clearly dont seem to be the right type of person to persue sugar baby/only fans type of work. While I know it's hard to accept and it's probably not what you want to do (or what you want to hear), I think you need to go back to a normal job. It will be hard, but you can pay off your debts and get back to a positive life where you won't be a scammed. I wish you all the best - good luck!
Longjumping_Pen_272: thank you, and yes I know. this definitely wasn't the ideal choice for me I don't want to be a SW or a a sugar baby which can probably be said for most people in those fields. I talked to my older sister and she said she would be able to recommend me at the store she works at and she showed me how long it would take to make back 5,000. I'm feeling a bit more confident now and maybe this will be good for me. I really appreciate you being kind though, I know this isn't a good look for me on any level but I am still human and it hurts to see mean comments.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1668055968 | 1668062192 | t3_yr5p5i | t5_2to41 | 58 | Specialist-Virus3469: TIFU by infiltrating "grown folks talk"
So my (m/16) family is huge on get-togethers and having people over and stuff. We practically know the whole damn neighborhood thanks to my father and we just moved here back in August. We have the neighbors over all the time and it's usually fine. We've been doing this since I was a kid so it's not that big of a deal to me anymore.
Well tonight we had my dad's friend and his kids over for dinner. We'll call my dad's friend Ricky. The whole thing was going normal, i'm friends with some of Ricky's kids since they go to my school and we were all just hanging out like usual. After a while I got bored and I decided to go outside and see what my siblings were doing. I walk outside and first thing I see is Ricky crying (like hard crying) and my dad talking to him. Now I like Ricky, this dude is the coolest guy ever in my eyes so obviously I was kinda freaked out + it's not everyday you see a grown adult crying like that.
I decided to be nice and just casually went "Ricky are you okay?". Turns out that was a mistake. Without missing a beat my dad turns to me and goes "YES SIR HE IS FINE, COME ON THIS IS GROWN FOLKS TALK, KEEP MOVING" then like half-pushes me out the way. I chilled outside for a lil bit then kinda awkwardly walked past them to go back inside. My dad gave me \*the\* look still even though I didn't even say nothing that time.
The whole thing kinda wrapped up from there. Ricky told me thank you for asking him if he was okay which I kinda appreciated since I was shut down before. They all left and I was just chilling in my room when my dad comes in all pissed off at me still. He goes "Why do you have to butt into everything??" I tried to tell him how I was just trying to check on the dude and he's all like "Absolutely no, the situation doesn't involve you just stay out of it Specialist-Virus3469!".
That was pretty much that but I'm still hella confused 😂 Like I get what he's saying but I was just trying to be nice and make sure bro was alright I wasn't trying to do nothing bad. And before you ask no, I still have no idea what happened. I don't think I'm finding out lmao
TL;DR: Asked my dad's friend who was crying if he was okay and interrupted grown folks talk
Postgis: Your adult friends gave you the respect to join them and you rejected it by being intrusive. You fucked up because your dad will probably never consider you trustworthy enough to share real details with again. You were treated like a man and responded like a little girl. So, yeah, you fucked up. If you're being treated like a man, act like one.
Specialist-Virus3469: They're not my "adult friends" they're neighbors who my dad feels the need to invite over like 8 times a week while I hang out with the kids my age from school
Postgis: >They're not my "adult friends"
Well they certainly aren't now, after you emasculated one of them
Specialist-Virus3469: Think you're taking this a lil too personally
Postgis: I'm not, I'm just telling you how adult men would see this. They allowed you to join their space and you intruded on it
Master_Maniac: You mean the adult man who appreciated the gesture, and ensured that he told OP that?
OP didn't intrude on a conversation. According to their post, literally never asked amything about that conversation or pried for details. They saw someone they cared about clearly upset and showed some empathy. That's it.
Also how is someone acknowledging that you're displaying an emotion and checking on your wellbeing emasculating? Sounds more like being a well adjusted human being with a support network to me.
Postgis: Look I'm not saying it's right. But OP himself says he fucked up. That's because the adults in the situation came down on him. I'm just explaining why. I'm not involved in any way
Would the world be better if men could support each other emotionally? Sure. Is that where we're at? Not quite
| 8 | 7.25 | |
1668058613 | 1668117212 | t3_yr6hq8 | t5_2to41 | 2,707 | DumbedDownDinosaur: TIFU by popping a "zit" inside my belly button that is actually a cyst
Yeah, just as a warning, this is pretty disgusting.
I was lying down on my bed and notice this MASSIVE pimple inside my belly button. I have no self control- I'm the kind of person who pulls scabs and pops pimples as soon as they appear.
This thing was... Large. I never had a pimple that large, but it looked ready to pop, so I pulled out needles, alcohol, and got to work.
I poked the "pimple" with a clean needle and got to work by squeezing it- of course, with my dirty nails.
First things first- the amount of puss AND THE SMELL. Oh my god. I did not think something like that could smell so bad.
I must have squeezed and poked and prodded with needles and alcohol-dipped earswabs (I KNOW THIS WAS VERY STUPID) for roughly 2 hours before puss stopped coming out. And even then, I'm uncertain I got it all out because the visibility inside my belly button is less than stellar. I mean- It's a HOLE INSIDE my "innie" belly button.
Now there's this... pencil-sized crater inside my belly button that hurts. I put gauze with alcohol on it and called it a day.
When I told one of my friends this, she called me an idiot and to see a doctor first thing in the morning before the crater I left gets infected.
It hurts a little, but beyond that it doesn't seem infected or anything- in retrospect poking it with my nails and cotton swabs was probably not the best idea.
I'm not even sure what I'll tell the doctor.
Wish me luck!
TL;DR: Saw big pimple inside my belly button- proceeded to stab it with needles and squeeze the entire thing. It was actually a cyst and I now have a crater that may or may not get infected.
Edit: Pic here: imgur.com/a/Aq8kEbe
Update 1: Woke up, having coffee, then headed to Dr because it looks like it's growing again. Gross.
Update 2: At the hospital about to be attended by a surgeon. Been waiting for hours. I've been given antibiotics as according to the Dr it looks mildly infected.
Update 3: Surgeon took a look and said that he wouldn't be removong the cyst until it regrows again, and until then I need to keep the area clean and tale my antibiotics.
I guess that's all.
amacatokay: There’s literally so much wrong here, you need adult supervision lol. First of all, no alcohol soaked gauze on an open wound. Second of all, cleanse with mild soap and water, dry it thoroughly with a clean cloth, then apply Vaseline or aquaphor with gauze and cover. If it gets really red and inflamed, hot to touch, oozing, etc, go see your doc.
AgathaM: No. Use antibiotic ointment not Vaseline or aquaphor. Those will only trap germs.
Bellybuttons and noses frequently harbor staphylococcus. Antibiotic ointment can help kill it.
amacatokay: Sigh. You are incorrect.
Board-certified dermatologist Marcelyn Coley, MD, FAAD, stated, "In addition to causing irritation and a rash, the widespread use of antibiotics—including in instances when they aren't needed—has contributed to a major public health challenge known as antibiotic resistance. Antibiotic resistance occurs when germs, such as bacteria, develop the ability to survive the drugs designed to kill them. That means the germs continue to grow. This makes infections caused by antibiotic-resistant germs difficult—and sometimes impossible—to treat."
Keep the skin injury clean: Wash hands before touching the wound, and gently wash the wound daily with mild soap and water to keep out germs. As long as the wound is cleaned daily, it is not necessary to use an antibiotic ointment.
Apply plain petroleum jelly to keep the wound moist. To prevent spreading dirt and bacteria, choose petroleum jelly that comes in a tube instead of a jar.
Keep the wound covered with an adhesive bandage. For large scrapes, sores, burns or persistent redness, it may be helpful to use hydrogel or silicone gel sheets instead.
AgathaM: I've had doctors say to put antibiotic ointment in your bellybutton and nose if you're prone to staph.
Here is a medical article stating to use it for injury to the umbilical area.
"The umbilicus is an area rich in bacteria, so we thought it might be useful to use prophylactic topical antibiotic therapy in this region to reduce the incidence of postoperative infection at the umbilical port site."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3016169/
amacatokay: That study was done in 2006 - 16 years ago. That is considered VERY outdated information when looking for research on current practices. Also, it’s studying patients post-VLC infection at the umbilical port-site. Not relevant to what OP is experiencing. Research current guidelines and you’ll see current recommendations.
AgathaM: My point is that you can find medical documentation going both ways.
Here is a current dermatologist that outlines exactly what the OP experienced, and recommends antibiotic ointment. [https://www.minarsdermatology.com/medical/eliminating-staph/](https://www.minarsdermatology.com/medical/eliminating-staph/)
amacatokay: What medical education do you have? You keep implying that OP has a staph infection when we don’t know that. That link is for an article on how to decolonize your skin from staph after repeat infections. The wound hasn’t been cultured. For now, it’s a simple wound. Cleanse with soap and water, keep moist with AHO or Vaseline, bandage. That’s current protocol.
I’m not making guesses or sharing anecdotes, I went to school for this. I am trained in wound care. I do this professionally, in real life. I’m just sharing current practice so OP can make the best decisions while she waits to see her doc.
AgathaM: I don't have that education (my sister, does, though), but have had staph infections.
Yes, assumptions are made. You've made assumptions as well. That's the nature of posts on the internet. But this is the first time you mentioned your education. What is your medical education? Are you a doctor?
And here is an article that says your way is bad. https://www.bbc.com/news/health-44600618
amacatokay: I’m a critical care nurse. No assumptions made, I looked at your profile and see that you are an engineering technician, not a healthcare provider.
AgathaM: I never claimed to be a healthcare provider. You have made assumptions on this person's care without having seen the person or their chart.
I have been an engineering technician. I am now an engineer.
You do not always know best. I just pointed out that there are differing medical opinions. You, as a trained healthcare provider, should know that one person's medical opinion is not the final say. There is a reason why there are second opinions. You are not a doctor.
amacatokay: 🙄 ok Agatha, keep using neosporin. I’ll send you some for Christmas. Have a nice life bye ✌🏼
| 12 | 225.583333 | |
1669565281 | 1669572687 | t3_z64ygv | t5_2to41 | 105 | LlwynogMulder: tifu by flattening my big mac
Happened about a week ago, laughed it off but I definitely cried a little inside over my newly flattened burger, though it is really funny
Planned a a pick-me-up evening of a bit of self care — really boring stuff tbh, just lighting some scented candles, putting on a face mask while enjoying a nice book, all finished off by ordering a takeout to eat while watching a movie. So, before turning on the film I ordered a McDonalds — drink, chips, big mac and an apple pie
Turned out I wasn’t very hungry. Finished my fries and apple pie by the end of the film, but I just wasn’t up for the big mac. No problem. Can eat it later (gross — cold burger leftovers, I know, but I wasn’t going to waste it)
I put the burger (still in its little cardboard box) in one of the paper bags and the paper / cardboard waste in another. Intended to put my burger in the fridge to have it the next day and recycle the other bag
Here’s where I screwed up
I squash stuff before putting it in the recycling bin. So I drop the bag which I’m sure has the cardboard / paper waste in and stamp on it. No hesitation, bc surely I wouldn’t mix up the bags…right?
No satisfying paper scrunch, and it was way squishier than I expected🫠 Queue a ‘surprised pikachu expression’ as I pick up a bag containing a pancake in place of a big mac
Tbf though, it did make me laugh a lot so I guess in the end it was a success pick-me-up evening
TL;DR — was having a pick-me-up evening, couldn’t manage my big mac so I intended to put it in the fridge. Accidentally jumped on the wrong paper bag and squashed it instead of my paper recycling. Very mild f’up but it left me laughing so I thought I’d share
Dinger_Dave: That was the most boring TIFU I’ve read to date
LlwynogMulder: Haha tbf I said it was a mild fk up
Dinger_Dave: Fair enough
| 4 | 26.25 | |
1668063690 | 1668548539 | t3_yr7whh | t5_2to41 | 27 | Thekingofheavens: TIFU by giving my entire office explosive diarrhea
I am a 22M and started working at this office very recently.
It's a laid back kind of office, stressful work, but casual and playful most of the time. I work in one of the sectors that were not at all affected by Covid, so business was booming and because of that the company was, and still is growing at a really fast pace.
This naturally leads to recruiting more people, which we did! And about 20 to 25 people were welcomed on board.
Early one morning we get a "fun" email from marketing, stating that the 30 last recruited employees have to cook or buy a gourmet meal for top management and older employees. They called it "bizutage" a sort of hazing for newer employees. Everyone of us noobs, had to prepare or buy lunch for the entire office.
Well that particular month my money was tied up into some unpaid bill issues, but I had bought groceries and felt confident that I can make something nice for the lunch day. Mind you I was having diarrhea already but had no idea why.
So I make a nice potato salade, toped with beef and got it to work, I made a whole lot of it.
To my surprise the other newbies didn't put as much effort into this and bought regular stuff from the store, I was the only one who took this seriously.
30 minutes to an hour after lunch, the shit festival started. I look up from my computer and start seeing that most of my coworkers are uneasy and going back and forth from the toilet. The commotion grows from bad to worst when I see about 20 more people in the same state. Then it hits me. I start feeling sharp abdominal pain, like a sort of hurricane Katrina in my insides, wind and sea. I was using every bit of my energy to keep my buttocks closed at all times. I don't usually take a dump at the office (because weird) but this time it was too much pain to sit. So I get up and head to the lavatories and there I could see a literal line of people waiting to get in. I tried all three toilets and it was the same line behind it. People started going home early including some new intern who we found out later shat his pants.
I put two and two together and find out that I, the only guy who actually made something is responsible for this mess. During my grocery shopping, I bought a sort of mexican spice and not what i usually use (because of inflation) and if im correct I was getting poisoned from this spice, which explains why I had diarrhea way before my entire office did. I used that same spice in the beef topping!
Now im sitting here waiting for one of my coworkers to realise that I was the one responsible for the shitstorm that hit the office
TL;DR: I used a cheap Mexican spice on a beef toping, and urged my entire office to experience explosive diarrhea.
elliebellrox: Hey! Go to the doctor so they can actually start the process of figuring out what bug is causing a possible outbreak!
It might be the spices, it might be E. coli, salmonella, listeria, and lots of options, but the producer of the contaminated feed needs finding!
Thekingofheavens: Hey will do!
| 3 | 9 | |
1668055885 | 1668103964 | t3_yr5ob8 | t5_2to41 | 21 | kaum_eddy: TIFU by putting sanitizer on my cock
I (17m) was having usual horny evening, no one was home, got bored and thought to myself what's something new I can do to have a better time?
I had seen something called sounding a while ago. It's basically putting non sharp objects (usually iron/glass rods) in side the eye of your penis, thought I should try this but I didn't posses the tools some professional use. So I used the next best thing 'Tulips' or some people may know them as the things you put in your ears even tho everyone says not to.
I cut one of the cotton side from the tulip, and to my surprise the rod of the tulip wasn't hollow which is preferred, but I had anxiety about this like I have for everything. What if I get a infection? What if I tear my urethra? Etc.
So I chopped the inserting end in a non sharp way and put some alcholic sanitizer on it for you know "protection"
Then I just used some hair oil (alternative lube) to slid it in with ease and MY DICK STARTED TO BRUN, even after it obviously hurting me, my horny ahh went full in. After doing the dirty deed was done I thought it's time for the tulip to go in trash and it came out of the Semenator surprisingly harmlessly.
So now I have a habit of taking a piss after finishing so I stood up infron of the toilet and let it rip.
BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE the Burning feeling had went dormant but idk why it came back , maybe from the acids or smtgh in the pee but the absolute striking pain sent a shiver UP my spine. I instinctively stopped peeing and almost freaking passed out from the pain. I am not exaggerating, from experiencing boiling hot water on the shin, burning hot iron on the knuckles and banging my head on a corner so hard that I have 3 eyebrows now; this was by far the WORST PAIN I have ever experienced.
I still tried to pee a bit more to get out anything that might be causing the pain but well I failed.
I was lowkey shaking from the freak shock of it, it lasted for less than a second but I am not going to forget it for the rest of my life.
After cleaning up I sat on the couch and researched on what could've possibly happened to the slinky.
According to my Google research I found out I had urethral prolapse, I read some really horrible things about it on a few articles for a good 30 minutes,had a few panic attacks and then Google decided to tell me it's a vaginal disease 😐
I went to take a bath and try to forget about it because I had no idea why it hurt and why hurt so much, and as soon as the shower water hit my head the shower thoughts brain was activated, I finally realized.......
If you are going to do some stupidity like me try using soap to clean your tools and not sanitizer.
Even while writing this the thing I'm most scared about is waking up tommorow morning, half sleepy, being oblivious to yesterday's trauma and going to pee.....
TLDR: Wanted to try sounding (putting stuffy inside pp) decided to use a half cut tulip and sanitized it with a alchohol sanitizer. forgor to clean with water. put it in pp, pp burn.
DestoryDerEchte: Well uh...
Certain_Finding_9361: Hmmm
Red_Wolf7: Hmmmmm....
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1669573134 | 1669574576 | t3_z68c3s | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by playing among us(unpredictable)
[deleted]
AndrewwwG: Nah, can't be real
_nitd27_: You want me to attach our chat screenshot, it have some sensitive informations like when we decided to meet we talked about our locality too and idk see this:
https://preview.redd.it/4a8tsoo1xk2a1.jpeg?width=630&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=883f23fe66dd4f3f680588878376dfb13195a7a3
AndrewwwG: Then why did you carry on with the deed when you saw the limax?
_nitd27_: Horneyness dude, I broke my NNN today and in pain as hell, getting horney over silly things and last 26days made it easy for me to not stop. I'm kinda immune to gay porn as there was a time when i was in boys hostle and that happens very casually there🫥.
AndrewwwG: Fine.
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1669573636 | 1669575891 | t3_z68jkw | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not asking for her number
[deleted]
Good_nuff: If you’re too nervous to ask what someone’s name is, you might not be in a place to date anyone
SirMoar: I mean I was gonna ask lol. It’s just been a while since I’ve been in that setting so I took longer than normal. She beat me to it but still was a nice time :)
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1669577022 | 1669578098 | t3_z69zpx | t5_2to41 | 14 | SatinMatthy: TIFU by modding Cyberpunk2077
So first of all I'd like to say this was a very stupid mistake on my part.
So I've been troubleshooting to get the game to launch for almost 4 hours when I said ''Fuck it'' and started to delete the files containing mods.
Now this is fine and all with the smaller files but I deleted the whole ''archive'' folder which is like 60 gigabytes when in reality I olny needed to delete the file within the ''archive'' file called ''mod''.
Of course I only noticed this after I'd already told steam to verify the integrity of game files. I noticed because it started a 60GB download.
I then paused that download and recovered the ''archive'' from the recycle bin . I hoped that after I verified the integrity again steam would realize that the files are there.
This was not the case.
So now I have to download 60GB worth of files I already have.
(TLDR: I deleted my games main folder and now I have to essentially re-download the whole game.)
Splyce123: Why is downloading 60GB a fuckup? It's a minor inconvenience at best.
iwannagohome49: Yeah, go have a sandwhich or something and it will be done
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1669578104 | 1669754104 | t3_z6ag57 | t5_2to41 | 33 | chaoticcat712: TIFU by attending a wedding with my fiancé
This was actually in October but has marinated deep in my mind for the past weeks. My (25f) fiancé (27m) has a best friend (since birth) who had another friend, we will call him Fred. Fred and fiancés best friend invited him out and ended up hitting it off, leading to an invite to his wedding. When my fiancé told me I was excited because, honestly, I knew they had money and the food/alcohol would be amazing lol. I was also excited to make new friends but battled intense social anxiety in the leading weeks up to the wedding. I only knew my fiancés best friend but I had met a couple people staying in the airbnb with us before. Staying with us we had another couple, the groom (Fred), my fiancé, his best friend, and two other guys. Plus me. 2 girls total.
So here’s why we effed up. Why we shouldn’t have gone, or stayed for that matter. The first night it’s all of the people I listed kicking it in the Airbnb. They are all drinking Jameson, brought by the couple. They took about 2 shots and the third shot they all left on the table for about, 10 mins give or take, while everyone smoked outside, socialized, etc. a lot of distractions going on.
When they realize they didn’t take their shot they all go back to throw it back. My fiancés cup is the only ceramic one, and very identifiable. Right before he’s about to drink it he notices his shot is green. Not like- green tea shot, like anti-freeze green. Bright and potent looking. My fiancé flipped out, started telling people to drink it if they weren’t so worried about it, etc. Nobody gave a shit. The only people who were vocal about it was the couple, suggesting it “oxidized” or “maybe it’s dish soap!” No, it smelled like Jameson and it sat there for 10 fucking minutes, someone tampered with it. I don’t know why but being a little turnt up already, we let it go for then but obsessed about it the next day at the wedding. Still, no one would really talk about it. We left the wedding with a heavy feeling, once we got service again, (we were literally in the middle of nowhere with no Wi-Fi), and someone tampered with his shot. So I decided to do more research and found the smaller Rohypnol pills contain a blue substance that will dye your drink blue (or maybe GREEN if it’s a yellowish/brown color drink). So that’s an option, someone tried to roofie my partner.
Also getting to know these people, they aren’t good guys. One deals and I caught the vibe they all just use each other for drugs. The groom thinks his money makes him invincible and treated people, especially my fiancé and I like garbage. I could straight up tell Fred did not like my fiancé and I was very confused why he was nice at first and invited us.
Due to this new feeling Fred doesn’t like my partner, combined with his superiority complex, my partner thinks he tried to poison him. It sounds insane because it is and the Rohypnol makes more sense to me. Really none of it makes sense to me because I don’t know how anyone could be that evil.
So yeah, probably our last wedding for a while
(Tl;dr) my fiancé and I went to a wedding and someone fucked with his drink, making it turn green
Random_Guy_47: The true fuck up here is leaving your drinks unattended.
Never do that.
Sunnygurrl: How were they to know that supposed friends were going to do this?
Random_Guy_47: You don't know, that's the point.
Sunnygurrl: The point is with friends, you shouldn't have to worry.
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1668090844 | 1668124149 | t3_yrgsvz | t5_2to41 | 157 | Cinnamoke: TIFU by telling this girl that I would give her my snapchat tomorrow
So there was this girl in my class and she would make it very apparent that she liked me. Staring at me in the middle of class, and the thing I noticed a lot was she would direct her feet at me almost every class.
This was a class that was right before lunch, and one day she followed me from one end of the school (where I picked up my bag and coat) and to the other side when I went outside to leave home for lunch
When I was in front of the school she asked for my snapchat, my response was "I'll give it to you tomorrow" and the next day was a Saturday.
I had no idea that the next day was Saturday and I was just focused on going home to eat,
I did not think much of it but then I noticed she stopped showing up to the class, and I later heard that she dropped the class.
Anyway, had a few people tell me it was my fault she dropped the class and wanted other opinions, was it my fault?
tl;dr: told a girl in school id give her my snap tomorrow (on Saturday) and was told she dropped the class I was in with her
AcrobaticSource3: You didn’t give her your snap
you missed getting the clap
Sonow all you can do is fap
Codasseous: Shakespeare?
Minute-Judge-5821: Aristotle
whitelightnin1: So-crates
| 5 | 31.4 | |
1669581472 | 1669672549 | t3_z6bw2b | t5_2to41 | 68 | lexifirds: TIFU By asking how my boyfriend is doing
I (19F) asked my (ex) boyfriend (22M) how he was.
We have been living together for about half a year and were struggling with money. He worked 2 jobs just to afford our apartment and everything else. When he came home from work I was on the couch watching TV and asked him ''How was work today?,, and he just flipped at me. I have been trying to get a job as well but have not found one yet. He yelled at me asking me why I am doing nothing, not being busy trying to find a job and just laying on the couch watching tv. He got so mad he started getting abusive. This was not the first time something like this happened as well. Around a week ago I broke up with him and now I practically have nothing. I can't go live with my family because they did not agree on the relationship and do not want to have contact with me. I have tried to get an apartment with what little savings I have left but have found nothing yet. I can barely afford to eat. I am at the lowest point of my life and don't know what to do.
TL:DR : I asked how my boyfriend is doing and we broke up because of it.
YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms: Imagine the scenario being the opposite, you come home, frustrated, tired from your 2 shifts to find him on his ass putting no visible effort into resumes/job applications/cleaning stuff. Then he asks you how was the work, as if it's not yet self evident, so now the seemingly harmless question becomes a mocking question. You explode and get violent.
Sadly I don't think you can imagine it. Not until you work two jobs.
Disastrous_Potato605: Hitting your partner is always wrong 💁♀️
YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms: I agree, but point me to where they were partners in the first place
Disastrous_Potato605: It was her bf when this occurred, is her ex because of it?
YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms: A bf is not a partner, not yet. Plus she did not play the team game. She's young, she'll learn how to, someday. Or not, either way....
"I missed the part where that's my problem."
~Bully Maguire
Disastrous_Potato605: Partner is a generic term for gf/bf/significant other. You’re mistaking it for a spouse. And u don’t need to be married to not suffer abuse. Nobody should be hitting their relationship partner, let alone anyone else. Abuse is always wrong.
YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms: >You’re mistaking it for a spouse.
Probably, yeah.
>And u don’t need to be married to not suffer abuse.
That was not my point. It is self evident that hitting is not okay. Yet I see it being trumpeted as if everyone is 5.
My point is, no matter how wrong something is, under certain circumstances people will do things that are wrong. There's no denying that. But I guess you already know that.
Either most people or a boisterous minority are not fully aware of what potential for evil lies within them, which under certain circumstances would materialize.
Unless you've properly integrated the inner shadow, then it's safe to consider yourself a loaded weapon.
If you don't integrate that side of yourself, then you will (if aren't already) absolutely (during your lifetime) harm someone (either physically or mentally).
Crimes against humanity were committed by people, guess what you, I and the other 8 billion are.
Disastrous_Potato605: It’s just sounds like you’re trying to explain away or make excuses for the behavior. The behavior is always wrong and a lack of self control doesn’t make u Batman, it makes u a bad person.
YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms: I'm explaining why things happen.
Being violent means you're a bad person, but not being capable of violence (being a rabbit, which can not do anything, but get eaten) does not mean you're a good person by default.
Being a good person - which many consider themselves to be - is hard. To be a good person you have to be a monster, but then not act monstrously.
Disastrous_Potato605: You’re clearly not illiterate and yet here you are trying to justify hitting your partner because of inner darkness or capability for violence. Abuse is always wrong and it doesn’t matter why u do it. It only matters why to you because you did it because you’re inherently selfish to be putting ur partner thru that mental and physical pain and damage. End of story.
YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms: >It only matters why to you because you did it because you’re inherently selfish to be putting ur partner thru that mental and physical pain and damage. End of story.
What?
| 12 | 5.666667 | |
1669582776 | 1669634037 | t3_z6cfa2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | P00PW4rning: TIFU by missing the signs of a toiletting cat
Throwaway cause this is a specific cat problem and my mate might see it, but hopefully they'll have a good laugh...
Today I was catsitting for two adorbs kitties. One of the kitties has spinal cord issues from an injury with a prior owner.
Lil bean delightfully woke me up at 5.30am, pulling herself onto the bed - only to flail around the foot end until her nappy had come free.
I took this as a sign she needed a pee (which she needs help doing and I had been helping her with during my stay).
I got up and scooped her and the nappy and we went to go toilet.
This is where I f*cked up.
I'm holding kitty gently over the toilet and helping her relieve herself, when her legs start to shake quite a lot and she starts meowing.
I am new to this, so I thought she was asking for some time on the ground before we emptied any more (I could feel that she still had pee in her bladder, but thought she was shaking because she was upset and wanted to go down).
NOPE.
Kitty did a shitty, all over the floor.
Thankfully a nice healthy looking one, but still a surprise and a bit of a handling hazard, as kitty also saw this as an opportunity to exit.
I got the added bonus of scooping the shit with some toilet roll then avoiding the shitty floor to catch the cat and finish the bladder voiding, before cleaning all the wee and poop that had escaped in the process - and then eventually chasing her with a new nappy (don't underestimate the speed of cats with spinal problems!!)
Eventually she was clean and I gave the floor a good clean.
Thank heavens it was on the easy wipe flooring.
Took me a while to sleep again after the mild panic.
Could see the glee in her eyes after.
Still side-eyeing her for a sneak poop for the rest of the day. Washed my hands many times. Chalking it up to experience.
TLDR; thought cat was annoyed with me, turns out she was doing a shit and I actually put her AWAY from the toilet and then had to clean shit off the floor and the cat and then chase her round trying to get a clean nappy on.
Nooo_Sleep_4961: what's a nappy?
Tyrium8820: The non-American name for diaper :)
Nooo_Sleep_4961: oh sorry lol
I didn't even know cats had diapers 😂😂
P00PW4rning: I forgot that it's a British word 🤣
They don't normally - she wears newborn diapers with a little cut in the back for her tail because of her continence troubles, so she can run around where she likes without worrying about mess ☺️
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1669583016 | 1669599167 | t3_z6cjd7 | t5_2to41 | 44 | Rejes: TIFU by letting my friend get fired over my mistake
I repair electrical components that go inside high end robots that assemble parts and transfer components from one place to another. I share a work station with a co-worker who works the day shift. We log in and out with a code so management knows who's working on components. It's a cake job and not a lot of pressure. I forgot to add that, me and my girlfriend had a big argument before work and I was pissed off about things when I got to work. When I got to my workstation, my station partner left already, (I was a little late because of girlfriend drama). I sat down and immediately noticed I was out of wire and flux. Annoyed, I went to the supply room, came back and started working. Well, after like 3 hours I noticed that my PIN code wasn't showing on the work labels I attached to my stuff going out...it was my station partners PIN! So, I logged her out and logged myself in. I had processed like 46 pieces before I saw the wrong PIN code. I took a break, and then went back to supply for more supplies. I finished out the shift and went home and ignored girlfriend that night. Next day, found out that my station partner got fired for using the wrong wire size and wasting like $84,000 in labor charges and materials. She was in her probationary period so they let her go. I immediately wondered if I had made the mistake yesterday when doing work under her login. Well crap, when I got to my station I saw the first empty spool I used and it was the wrong size for the parts we were making. I just knew it was my mistake. I felt bad but not bad enough to go snitch on myself. I just feel like shit...but I am scared to say something now.
TL;DR: I got a co worker fired, didn't fess up to it being my mistake, and now I feel like crap.
pity_party_65: So basically, you’re a piece of shit and you’re letting someone else get fired for your mistake…. Merry Christmas
Rejes: I am going to fess up.
pity_party_65: If you actually do this, I have the utmost respect for you. It’s the right thing to do !
Rejes: I plan to. Conscious is eating me up
Reddit-username_here: Good on you mate! It does take some courage to own your mistakes when you fuck up something at this magnitude, but it's the right thing to do. No matter what happens, 20 years down the road, you're going to feel a lot better that you did the right thing than you would knowing you fucked someone over for something they didn't do.
| 6 | 7.333333 | |
1669583376 | 1669675916 | t3_z6cows | t5_2to41 | 5,054 | throwra8531704: TIFU by Talking to my Sleeping Partner
I came home to find my partner asleep, so I carefully crawled into bed with them. I happened to have a lot on my mind, so after some time I started speaking quietly to them. I've never done this before, but it was cathartic to say my thoughts out loud. Since they were asleep, I told them things I would never say to them if they were conscious.
I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder. Lately, I've been in a severely bad mental state - so bad that I cannot get out of bed, take care of hygiene, go to work...you get the picture. I think about ending it every day. I am in conversation with my school administrators, work supervisor and HR, family and friends support system for accommodations during this time, and also have been meeting with all kinds of medical professionals in an effort to find something that helps lessen my mental anguish. Ive seen many therapists/counselors, have been on multiple medications, do my best to maintain social relationships, and exercise. Nothing has helped, and being honest about how I am doing when I was able to mask it and "function" for many years before is taking a toll on me.
In talking to my sleeping partner, I told him about how much I hate how little control I have, how exhausted I am with the process of finding something that works. I expressed regret for how my condition is difficult for other people as well. And then, I started talking about the future; a future I do not see myself in. I talked about my options and plans to take my life, even made a joke about what his highly religious mother would say. Near the end, I rambled on about how amazing my time with him has been, how much I love him, how much I fear leaving him to deal with grief. I made a comment about how I sincerely hope he finds someone who deserves the treatment he gave me, someone he is excited to spend the rest of his life with, after I am gone.
Folks, as I'm sure you've guessed, he wasn't asleep for all of that. As far as I know, he only heard the very last bit, but that was enough to freak him out. As soon as I said my last "I love you" and began to settle to sleep, he spoke. He asked what I meant, "when I'm gone"? He asked if I was serious. In that moment, I didn't want to be honest, but I couldn't lie, so I just didn't answer. I'm sure that was answer enough.
I feel so guilty. He really has been the most wonderful person to share the last many years of my life with, and my heart breaks for what I'm going to do to him. I wish I didn't have to further burden him with the knowledge of what's coming.
Not looking for advice, declarations of support, or sympathy. Just wanted to type into the void for a bit. Take care, friends. I'll see you on the other side.
TL ; DR My partner was not sleeping as I told him about my intention to kill myself, and I feel guilty for not only wanting to leave this world, but for making him have to think about it prematurely.
Edit: Obligatory Wow, I did not think this would blow up like it has. But really, I expected a much smaller response. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to reach out, through the many messages, comments, awards, and upvotes. I don't have the capacity to respond individually but trust that I am reading everything and am still here. And it means a lot. I already knew that I was cared for by my close friends and family but so many strangers showing their love leaves me speechless. I wish the best for every one of you. Thank you.
shadesofwolves: Reconsider.
Genuinely.
NotMattD: Yeah, this. Also, have you ever tried mushrooms to help with your depression?
AcidicGreyMatter: Why the fuck does this have hundreds of downvotes?
Microdosing and psychedelics are the very reason I no longer struggle with depression.
If you feel like you want to end it all and nothing else is working and you *HAVEN'T* tried mushrooms, you probably should. They won't do anymore harm then you would to yourself and the best case scenario you end up with a completely different perspective looking back on all those feelings.
lovable_cube: Because if you try mushrooms for the first time and have a bad trip while already suicidal it could push you into killing yourself. I understand that it can be highly beneficial to many people when used correctly but it’s really hard to figure out how to use it correctly when it’s illegal in most places. This should be done under the supervision of an experienced and trusted person which is pretty hard to find for most people.
AcidicGreyMatter: >Because if you try mushrooms for the first time and have a bad trip while already suicidal it could push you into killing yourself.
The possibility of a bad trip only comes with high doses, these effects do not occur with microdoses since you are only taking enough to slightly change your state of mind and not get any visuals or intense sensations.. The information isn't that hard to find, a simple google search and checking a few different sources is all you would need, I did my research 10 years ago at this point and it was fairly easy to find out what the different dose amounts were back then, despite it being even more illegal than compared to now.
I don't see how it's any different then the risks that come with all anti depressants, you have to take them for weeks to see any effect and thats providing you even get a positive effect and they don't make your suicidal thoughts worse enough to do the exact same thing. In the future I see this becoming the first medicine to prescribe as you can take it once and immediately see benefits and if you don't keep taking it, nothing bad happens, where as current therapeutics you have to take for long periods and can't just simply stop taking them without a negative effect.
lovable_cube: The difference between antidepressants and mushrooms is that antidepressants are taken under the supervision of a professional with extensive knowledge about it. Since there are very few professionals to supervise a mushroom trip and even fewer ways to properly dose the mushrooms (it’s guess work on potency at best) there are not many safe ways to go about this. That’s if you can even find a reputable dealer that consistently has stock.
AcidicGreyMatter: The dosing is not guess work, the info is out there and easy to find. 0.3-0.5g of material is the average microdose weight and even with varying species that amount generally won't produce an effect where you would need supervision or an expert.
I would say it's even safer than traditional antidepressants considering you don't need to take them for a month to see a positive benefit and at such a low amount, you won't be risking a "bad trip" since you aren't reaching a dosage that can enable tripping. Generally when you find one person growing mushrooms, which is easy to do than growing weed and most other things, you would have consistent access to a supply source too.
When you take antidepressants, you generally aren't babysat on a daily basis until desired effects are achieved either, the doctor just gives you the prescription and you take it daily at home, sometimes with a therapist or psychologist but most of the time thats not even suggested.
lovable_cube: You would say, science would not. I see you’re all for natural remedies but some people react poorly to things for no apparent reason and when you’re dealing with drugs there’s always a chance of bad reactions. This is why it’s best to have a professional monitoring you. Also idk where you’re from but where I live you 100% need a therapist to prescribe you antidepressants and a general practitioner will not handle something like that.
AcidicGreyMatter: I am in Canada.
I'm also for using conventional therapeutics when needed, if mushrooms don't work for some, they should be directed to other forms of medicine that can treat the specific problem they are dealing with. The benefit of mushrooms and using psilocybin as an antidepressant is you get results within the same week, which is why I think it should be used first before other medications to treat depression because you wouldn't have to wait 4 weeks to see if your reaction will be bad, because when you stop taking it, its guaranteed to get worse before you get back to normal, even if normal is horribly depressed.
lovable_cube: Sir/ma’am, we are going to just have to agree to disagree.
AcidicGreyMatter: >some people react poorly to things for no apparent reason and when you’re dealing with drugs there’s always a chance of bad reactions.
I am not disagreeing with you.
I am just pointing out that one should not be forced to take a substance that takes up to 4 weeks to kick in before you see any effect before trying out something that could do the same thing within a span of 24 hours, which is much safer because you aren't going to deal with negative effects for weeks on end and with a microdose you likely won't even see a negative effect.
You can't just stop taking anti depressants and have 0 negative effects, but you can do that with mushrooms.
lovable_cube: You’re just repeating what you already said.
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