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value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1671906871 | 1671910315 | t3_zufqy3 | t5_2to41 | -1 | [deleted]: TIFU by cockblocking my friend into oblivion
[deleted]
LonelyWanderer28: Holy crap that is one of the most vagrant violations of the bro code
Struggle2Real: *flagrant. Although vagrant is funnier
| 3 | -0.333333 | |
1671908382 | 1671998714 | t3_zug988 | t5_2to41 | 73 | Garbageboy5011: TIFU by telling my girlfriend the reason why we started dating was because she scared me
I (22nonbinary) am very socially awkward and introverted. Like conversing with people makes my skin crawl. But I'm able to tolerate conversations with a few people, including my girlfriend (21f) and one of her friends (though mostly because the most of my conversations with her is her asking if she can take some of my money to buy snacks).
Me and my girlfriend were both talking about her relationship earlier, and she made a joke about how she only asked me out because she thought I'd be super cool and mysterious, and that it's a shame that I'm about as interesting as a puddle (which is justified), and so in response I told her that I only said yes because I was too scared not to. She asked what I meant. I get it, it sounds a little mean. I explained that I didn't really know her well when she asked me out, but I said yes anyways because I didn't have the social finesse to say no without hurting her feelings, and nothing scares me more than upsetting someone. I, at the time, assumed she'd break up with me once she realised that I'm a bit of a bore, so it didn't seem like a big deal, but I'm glad she didn't because I really like her now, and it's the best thing l've ever done out of fear. All that and a kiss on the forehead, a hair ruffle, and a smile. Our usual dance after I've complimented her.
She's been really quiet since and I think I messed up.
I can imagine finding out your partner is only with you because they felt too scared to say no hurts a little, so that plus my other most recent fuck up, I think has earned her a nice dinner. Need to ask her friend for some money back tho because I'm broke as fuck.
TL;DR I told my gf that I only said yes to her when she asked me out because I was too intimidated to say no, and now she’s upset
AquilaBravo: Make the dinner yourself. That's hot AF. If she brings it up, tell her she made you brave, spin the story.
Psycho_Kronos: Gaslight her!
NavyBeans42: Obligatory that's not gaslighting.
AquilaBravo: Oh my. I definitely did NOT intend that. Do NOT spin the story? Just be honest with her. Your love means a lot, I think.
| 5 | 14.6 | |
1669965290 | 1670025057 | t3_zaeqdp | t5_2to41 | 14 | Throwaway8321G: TIFU by arguing with my flatmate
[removed]
d4m1ty: "Hey Boyfriend, I hope your brother can suck some dick because until you handle him, I'm on strike."
fyi, never use sex as punishment or reward, it is very unhealthy, but a gentle reminder that if you are *emotionally and socially* unsatisfied in the relationship the chances of you wanting to be sexual decrease significantly.
yumirow: What ?
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1669968018 | 1669983121 | t3_zafjve | t5_2to41 | 104 | Agrawal_Sid_03: TIFU my telling my date I love her
Today I told my date whom I've been dating for a little over two months I love you while being drunk and I don't think she took it well. She just said how sorry she is that she cannot say the same and replied with the dreaded "I mean I like you a lot" We have both exchanged I love yous and this has happened before maybe like twice before and the outcome is totally the opposite. Usually she wishes me good morning and I do the same and calls me on her break but she hasn't done either of those things today, she hasn't even replied to my good morning text and when I called her when I know she'll be free she cut the call saying I'll call you later. it's been well over 16 hours since the incident and my now sober ass is regretting saying it to her.
TL:DR my drunk self might cause me my excellent relationship to go to ruins
Edit : thanks for all the advice guys, we sorted things out and she says she just needs time to make sure we’re compatible and wants to stay with me for the long term, in fact we’re going on a date today at her favourite coffee place.
Vire42: I find the whole idea that you would break it off with some one because they said I love you and you like them a lot is kinda crazy. Are you guys exclusive? If you have only met a few times in the 2 months and are both dating other people that would be a bit much but if you are only seeing each other yeah just let her have some space and don't come off clingy.
Agrawal_Sid_03: We’re not dating anyone else and she hangs around at my place basically everyday
JanusJato: And you want to be with her or you want her as a friend. In the second case I understand the fu in the first case it seems you get a positive answer or spared time and probably pain later...
Agrawal_Sid_03: I want to be be with her of course
| 5 | 20.8 | |
1671908974 | 1673715416 | t3_zuggtb | t5_2to41 | 47 | TIFUtastupidwomam: TIFU by letting my coworker move in with me. UPDATE.
First, thank you for the messages, the responses, and the accusations of this being a Hallmark special. Trust me the last person to play me IRL is Candace Cameron-Burr, or LeAnn Rimes. I assure you, I'm hardly a dainty blonde who swoons at the sight of 'piercing blue eyes' and a 'dazzling white smile'. I actually have black hair, can hardly be called "Dainty", and Jason has brown eyes, but my husband did have green, so if you want to bank on that you're welcome to.
This will be difficult to explain, but I hope I can make it easy to understand. My husband and I were basically born to be together. We had known each other from nursery school. I fell in love with him before I even knew what love was, and stayed in love. We got married at 18 and 19. We were planning a future. We had bought a house. We had career goals. We had retirement goals. When I lost him I felt like I lost a lifeline. My time with him wasn't enough. It would never be enough.
I had what everyone wants and deserves, and it was taken away from me. Just understand how freaking unfair that is. Okay?
After some heavy thinking/drinking, I came to the conclusion that when it comes to Jason, with him living here, it was the life I should have had by now. I should have had my husband here with me. I should have had the two kids we planned on having, in a house with noise and toys and laughter and cries and spats between siblings. This should have been my life.
But the person there was the wrong person. It wasn't my six foot two green eyed monster of a man. And as much as I loved them, the girls weren't ours. I miss my husband, and I miss even more the life we were robbed of.
I think it was Betty White said, after her husband passed away, she wouldn't date or marry again because she had the best, and nothing would compare to it. That's me. That's the truth. Absolutely nothing, and I mean nothing, would compare to my husband. And right now, I don't want anything to compare it too.
That's what I told Jason. After reading the multiple texts of him just asking me to talk, saying there was something we had and he didn't want to lose, then him getting angry because I wasn't responding, then apologizing for being (rightfully) angry, then just asking if we could go back to being friends and forgetting everything that happened. When I got that text, I put my adult pants on and called him.
I told him everything above. I told him everything I didn't mention on here because it would be too revealing. I told him that he was freshly divorced (or will be), and I wasn't the rebound type of person. Him and his wife haven't even been separated for a year at this point, and with my insecurities and comparisons to my marriage, it wouldn't be fair to pursue anything right now, especially with him. He's fresh off the block here, still hurt at his own marriage failing. Because even though I think I fell in love with him, I need time to confirm if it's with him specifically, or just with the life I was supposed to have.
Thankfully he understood. And thought I was possibly correct in my assumption that he was jumping into something we weren't ready for. He asked if we could still be friends, and I jumped at that option. I missed him, missed the girls, I missed having a meaning instead of just coasting.
He asked if I could come over for Christmas. I bought the girls some presents from me, and Santa, so I said of course, and I'll come over later tonight once the girls pass out. He seemed really happy with this. I asked him not to tell the girls I was coming over, and we could have that damn adulting talk that a phone conversation won't cut it for. He promised to slip the girls a Benedryl/Nyquil chaser to make sure they stay asleep. I'm pretty sure he was joking.
So. That's my update. We're friends-ish. I see him tonight. And I'm more nervous than a prom date. But look at me Reddit, I communicated! I got my Big Girl Trousers on! They're horribly scratchy and uncomfortable and are probably going to give me a rash by the end of it.
TL:DR We're friends until I mess it up again.
Critical-Echo-923: what an efing disaster, how some people can think like this and send a once in a lifetime second chase like this into the ground its beyond my understanding
wtf is this ! -its perfect but it doesnt have a unicorn to drag the stick out of my ass
you do know that most people would give an arm and a leg for this...
(no im not single,and i have 4 kids )
GoKickRox: This ain't a Christmas movie where every one ends up happy and sipping effin cocoa by a fireplace. This is someone who's damaged and obvs the other isn't exactly uncracked china either. So let them go at their own pace.
Critical-Echo-923: > \-its perfect but it doesnt have a unicorn to drag the stick out of my ass
all you do is reinforce my statement
GoKickRox: I have to be misunderstanding, can you please elaborate? Your comment makes you appear bitter and angry.
Critical-Echo-923: people dont have to be undamaged to not miss out at the chance to be happy
the way she described the atmosphere in the house and then her decision made me think wtf!, how can you be this stupid !
i would have never let that go
TIFUtastupidwomam: Well, I had a long, drawn out explanation here, but then I realized you said you aren't single and have four children. I'm going to assume you cannot possibly understand why I feel the way I do. So I'm going to just let this slide and let you stay angry.
Critical-Echo-923: a few moments later..... TOLD YOU SO !
ur welcome
TIFUtastupidwomam: Lol, alright. You win this round, Maam!
| 9 | 5.222222 | |
1671918709 | 1672008494 | t3_zui9qo | t5_2to41 | -7 | ThrowRAbro17: So let me get this straight, I’m an asshole because my friend at the time (NOT ME) was sharing details about his sex life UNPROMPTED about girl who I didn’t know he was referring to at the time? (because he kept that detail private) I didn’t know I had to go out of my way to find out who he was referring to and quite honestly I thought he was lying at the time.
Critical-Echo-923: be honest, did you at any time told him sharing sex life was inappropriate ?
or advise him about protection...
Mamakayce: They’re so many things wrong in this story but your stuck on a conversation that teenage boys have everyday. Kids talk about sex it’s a normal thing, because most of the time they can’t talk to their parents about it. You’re trying to put to much blame on OP when jack is really the issue,he’s 17 year old and fucking a 14 year old without protection that’s the asshole u should be more mad at
JejuneEsculenta: The fail that you seem to be missing is that, in OP's mind it was fine when he thought it was *someone else's* sister, but got butthurt when it turned out to be his.
Like, if you're OK with someone's stories of sexual exploits, you should be OK when they were with your sister, even if you don't want to think of your sister as a sexual being.
Mamakayce: This is such a weird statement I mean of course someone would care more about their best friend fucking their younger sibling then someone random. That’s such an apples and oranges statement no where near the same thing. It’s like if it’s house fire and theirs a family member in there and complete stranger who do care more about / save ? It will for sure be the family member.
JejuneEsculenta: It is baffling that you're so obtuse to the point.
If this dude's friend was fucking some girl, that girl is someone's sister/daughter. There is, literally, no difference between his fucking some random girl and fucking this dude's sister.
He only gets butthurt after learning it was his sister. Where was his anger and outrage when it was some other woman?
If he's going to get upset, that should have happened when dude started sharing locker-room stories.
hi_hola_salut: SHE’S ONLY 14!!!! Of course that’s different! Teenage boys (some, not all) over exaggerate sexual conquests and brag - that’s a problem in society, and I’m assuming that OP and the others thought the girl he was seeing was the same age as them, and definitely not someone they knew!
My brother would’ve beaten up his friend for getting me pregnant at 14 too, despite being younger - he was tall and protective of his sisters. Any 17 yr old would be disgusted to learn their friend was sleeping with a 14 year old. Any 17 yr old would be disgusted to learn their friend had been secretly sleeping with their sister and sharing the graphic details with all their friends. Now put the two together - OF COURSE OP beat him up - the little shit totally deserved it in my eyes, and 17 year old boys are full of testosterone. I’d argue in court to free OP, just as I would if it had been the father who beat up the kid, or the mother - I don’t know how I’d react to a 17 yr old sleeping with my daughter and getting her pregnant at 14 😱
brickmaster32000:
>Any 17 yr old would be disgusted to learn their friend was sleeping with a 14 year old.
Apparently not as Jack clearly wasn't disgusted with sleeping with a 14 year old. The fact that his friends where so cavalier about his bragging is almost certainly part of the reason why he didn't.
hi_hola_salut: Clearly Jack is the exception 🙄 He knows it’s wrong or he would’ve TOLD his friends who he was having sex with. Why do you think he kept it a secret? OP says all his friends were shocked.
Dunno if you spend much time with teens since being one yourself, but teens often brag about all sorts and people (other teens included!) often take it all with a pinch of salt. Some feel the need to bug themselves up. Nobody would be happy to hear that kind of stuff about their sister, no matter what age they or their sister is! This Jake is a real piece of work - he knows fine he shouldn’t be sleeping with a 14 yr old. He knows what the reactions would be, which is why he kept it secret. He clearly had no respect for her or his friend to have been talking about her like that - Jake probably enjoyed it, knowing he was going into details about OP’s kid sister without them knowing. That wasn’t a loving, respectful relationship. Now the whole town knows. Poor girl.
brickmaster32000:
>but teens often brag about all sorts and people (other teens included!)
Yeah and the fact that such objectification is so common is a large part of the problem. When you normalize bragging about having sex as if you have won a prize it naturally leads to that lack of respect.
hi_hola_salut: Then do your part to teach the next generation to be better. I am doing all I can. I model respectful behaviour and language, and pull up any disrespectful language I hear. I talk about respect and consent, and am teaching my own to be respectful of others regardless of gender.
Dunno if you’re a man or woman, but men need to tell other men that this type of disrespectful language is not OK and they won’t accept it. Men need to tell other men it’s not ok, and kick these type out of their group of friends of they persist.
brickmaster32000:
>Dunno if you’re a man or woman, but men need to tell other men that this type of disrespectful language is not OK and they won’t accept it.
Then why where you defending that type of talk as just normal teen boy talk a minute ago?
hi_hola_salut: No - stating it happens is not defending it. Stating that rape happens is not defending it. You are complaining about it to me - do something about it instead. I’m doing all I can personally to improve the situation. Can you say the same? If not, then you’re just moaning for the sake of it. Like people who complain about politics but don’t vote. If you want changes, be part of the change.
brickmaster32000: Sure, without context saying rape exists isn't defending it. With context when someone else says rape is bad and you come in and start downvoting any such comments and telling people that hey it happens, just get over it, that is defending rape.
hi_hola_salut: Seriously? Dude, you’re just looking for an argument. Like I actually said in my last comment - if you want a change, be the positive change needed. I’m not replying to you anymore, happily I’ve got more interesting things to do tonight!
| 15 | -0.466667 | |
1669980958 | 1669983490 | t3_zajo9h | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by using Instagram and finding out my ex has been stalking me
[deleted]
HandRailSuicide1: So she viewed your account and has done nothing else. Seems relatively benign to me. On social media, you’re always under constant surveillance. Only way to get around that is to delete your account
I fail to see how going scorched earth on her is warranted
ItzLeoo: Because it’s been happening for months and she refuses to tell me who’s helping her spy on me. She’s completely blocked. She’s going out of her way to check up on what I’m doing. I don’t see how that’s benign.
Tsubodai86: Spy on you through the content you post publicly. Right.
ItzLeoo: She wouldn’t have found it without people sending her my posts on Instagram 🤷🏼♂️
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1669984619 | 1670007466 | t3_zal0zz | t5_2to41 | 8 | Northstar1989: TIFU by not trusting my instincts
Happened yesterday.
I have been having some problems with a doctor's (Pulmonary practice) office that has been acting VERY unprofessionally (for instance, at my 2nd visit the NP they had me see made a rude dig at my being poor/too sick to work related to my health insurance...)
For context, I am/was (before becoming sick) a pre-med and have shadowed many physicians, worked as an EMT, etc. I also hold a graduate degree, have a firm grasp of medical science, and basically am very familiar with what behavior is normal in medicine and what kinds of explanations make sense in diagnosis. This practice had been behaving in very abnormal ways relative to that experience.
Yesterday, I had my third visit with them. I was on edge, because given their past behavior I expected more problems from them. And a complete lack of empathy, decency, etc. But I suppressed the rising queasy feeling and went anyways.
Now, this time, a doctor actually walks in after the Medical Assistant (who was already overstepping the normal MA role a bit, but nothing too bad). So far so good, I thought.
But, this initially somewhat polite Indian doctor (idea if there is a cultural context I am missing here, if I did something wrong that offended him based on that), very quickly starts to act obviously impatient and show great irritation when I try to explain some insights I had into my symptoms (family noticed an exczema-like rash behind my ear before a recent period of severe coughing fits, and I'd had rash there before with other coughing episodes. Also, I seem to cough a lot more when I get physically cold, regardless of air temperature or humidity...) I show him a picture of the rash that was behind my ear on my cellphone, and think about turning on video recording and asking if I can record him for future reference (I am also having memory issues, post-Covid) but don't do so, even though I get a strong sense he is about to act very unprofessionally... (and might not have if recorded)
Continued in comments due to prompt length restrictions...
TLDR: See below (end of 2nd comment continuing explanation)
NostradaMart: DUDE...your TL;DR is as long as the main text...fix that ...
bestofwhatsleft: The TL;DR needs a TL;DR.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1671918078 | 1671933452 | t3_zujhhd | t5_2to41 | 12 | Nhcq_: TIFU by getting dismissed from my engineering department
Hi, I (20M) got dismissed from my major (biomedical engineering) a couple days ago due to a low GPA (below a 2.0). I was so close to making it back over a 2 but I was just a letter grade off in a class. I’m so sad. My parents are extremely disappointed in me, even though they are trying to be more understanding I know deep down they are disappointed. All my life I was a gifted child with extremely high expectations but I’ve pumped out failure after failure. I did well my freshman year but sophomore came around and I got diagnosed with depression after a terrible depressive episode. Now I’ve been battling depression for the past year but it wasn’t enough. I finally hesitantly started medication but it was too late in the semester to change my trajectory. I just feel so lost, disappointed, and depressed (just when I thought it was getting better). It’s too the point that my parents are questioning whether I’m the intelligent son they had years ago. That’s been kind of the only identity cast onto me by them so with that gone I feel like nothing. I know it’s not good to mope and I need to get my life together but I’m honestly tired of living. I just want to cease to exist. I’m such a bitter and pessimistic person now that only feels like doing mind numbing insignificant activities to just pass time. I’ve tried to be strong for so long but really I am so weak. I just wanna cry but I can’t. I’m blessed to live and wonderful life with wonderful people in it, but I wish I could give it to someone less fortunate because I obviously can’t make the most of it. Currently, I’m planning to go to community colleges, transfer after a semester to a university in my city, and finish some degree like biology or chemistry and apply to a grad healthcare program like PA school. That said, I don’t believe in myself to do all that and feel like I’m just going to fail again like I always have.
TL;DR I got dismissed from my dept for having a low GPA. I had been battling depression and tried to improve and it wasn’t enough. Now I’m scared to move forward in my life.
Valuable-Island3015: It’s ok buddy. Not everyone is cut out for college. Have you considered going into a trade?
Nhcq_: Yeah I have. I know welding makes good money and have considered it. I’m also thinking of becoming a firefighter and being part of the EMS team. I think I can do college if I sort myself out but always keeping my options open.
No_Love_1353: What do you mean by “sort yourself out”? Has something you’ve been doing been affecting your grade point?
Nhcq_: I mean I just wake up unmotivated and feel hopeless/meaningless a lot of days. Found myself getting distracted very easily, although this has been a problem all my life. Might be undiagnosed ADHD or a symptom of my depression. Couldn’t get myself into an organized schedule. Didn’t feel like I had enough energy to get through most days and so on. A lot of these are probably a result of my depression but they’re ultimately in my control, or at least that’s the mindset I try to have, but I just can’t seem to win despite several attempting several methods and for good periods of time.
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1669987012 | 1669995711 | t3_zalzfb | t5_2to41 | 11 | Throwaway146821: TIFU by telling my girlfriend I want to spend time with my friend
A bit of background info : My girlfriend is amazing, she doesn't care about my height or my looks (i'm super insecure and she calls me handsome at any chance she gets), often cuddles with me, is great with my little sister and my mom loves her. We watch movies and play games from time to time and I love the sound of her voice and she's really pretty. It's my first relationship and she never complains but I spend time with my friends a lot.
I (19M) told my girlfriend (19F) that I want to spend some time with my friend (18M). We were talking about what plans we have today and it's friday which means she doesn't go to college and I don't have to go to my programme (I dropped out of college but she made me go back and this programme is to help me pass the classes I failed before going to college for good). I have a few friends that i spend a lot of time with and with the programme and work, I barely get to spend any time with my girlfriend besides when i wake up and I go to sleep when she's already sleeping. Since today we were both free, we made a plan to watch Lilo and Stitch with my younger sister (4) and play some games later on. She wanted to make a few sweets and told her I'd join her and help her out.
A friend messaged me and told me we should hang out today, and I did forget about our plans. I told her I was going out and she asked if I forgot anything. I said No and she looked at me, sighing, but told me to have a good day so I left though her reaction bothered me a bit. The moment I met up with my friend I realized I forgot about our plans and she keeps insisting it's okay (i messaged her about it), but she has the bad habit of brushing everything off and saying it's all good even though she'd been looking forward for a long time to do a certain thing. And even when we communicate, she seems way colder when she's upset cause she struggles with her emotions and how to express them. My sister probably forgot as well but remembers way quicker than I do. I'm scared that she'll want some space from me cause I always forget to do things with her. I can't go back home either cause my little sister will probably scold me and I can't look my girlfriend in the eyes (she probably cried, I hope not however). This has happened before and the last few times it happened it ended up with her crying until I got home and telling me that she also needs attention and that she was once my friend (and that she'll take a break from us once i actually stop giving her the attention she needs)
What do I do? All of my friends say that it's ok and that there's always another chance but we're both getting increasingly busy each day that passes and I'm afraid that I won't be able to see her as much or even go to sleep and she'll be there when I wake up.
TL;DR
My girlfriend is upset because I kept hanging out with my friends and today I forgot about our plans
Visual_Store7705: Forget about it bro it sounds like it was an honest mistake. Maybe tell her that and move on. Kissing her ass over it and apologizing a million times is not the way….
Throwaway146821: Maybe but this time I feel like I actually fucked up, she's been looking forward to this for a long time and she had plans herself (go out with friends, buy cosmetics, whatever she does) but cancelled them all on a last minute's notice. Either way, thanks!
Contank: It was an honest mistake although I don't understand why you wouldn't want to spend the day with her anyway (even if there was no plans) when you admit you don't see her much and both had the day off
Throwaway146821: I don't know either actually, there are times where we spend the whole day together and times where we barely spend any time together. It's not that she doesn't make an effort to spend time with me, she's always around and always giving me the chance to chat with her or spend time with her, I just almost never take up on it lately
Contank: You should probably spend more time with her in general. Although cancelling plans doesn't help it probably isn't the only reason she's upset
Throwaway146821: I don't know any other reason why she could be upset, we've been pretty happy and I haven't seen her upset because of any other thing.. Though I need to spend more time with her
Contank: Thats exactly what I mean you never spend anytime with her and now cancelled plans. I'm sure she's upset about the fact you never want to hang out with her in general not just because you cancelled plans
Throwaway146821: Huh. That might be it, I'll try talking to her once I get back home
| 9 | 1.222222 | |
1671921166 | 1671921722 | t3_zukhp8 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Slammedfiero: Tifu a candy bar and 10$
Did I get bamboozled by a disheveled old guy no ID no wallet in a Porsche… empty tank and needed a candy bar and enough fuel to get home…
So this fella stopped in at my part time job at a gas station. Just lost on the world (or so it seamed) sat at the pump for like 45 min to an hour. Didn’t pump gas… came in for who know what in Hudson Wi in a fucking Porsche during a “blizzard”
“Where is a snickers” he asked, I said “in the candy isle” pointing and the snickers… my girlfriend is watching fella pocket dive for 1.69 for his m&m’s… (she is working another till) We got a line and I am part time.. “have a good day sir marry Xmas I got your candy bar…” I payed for his candy “I feel bad” he said. “No worries bud. I got your candy, merry Xmas just pass it on when you can.” Came back in and says “I put like 4$ in fuel in my Porsche but don’t know how far is down town St. Paul.” So I’m like “you have an address I can tell you to the foot how far you need to go” so he ball parks “down town Saint Paul” so I tell him 20 miles. “I don’t think a gallon and some will get me their. It’s like still on E.” So a dig around for sticky change and a couple crumpled singles I helped a Porsche driver with a “lost wallet” did a judge a guy by his care or his attitude? Idk. I feel good but idk. Fucking Porsche…. TL;DR
DarkAthena: This was incomprehensible.
Slammedfiero: It’s a book I was venting. I know it is!!!
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1671921632 | 1671986484 | t3_zukn3b | t5_2to41 | 103 | Living-Ad2064: TIFU by carrying my Christmas funds with me
TIFU by carrying my Christmas money with me
Well, it wasn’t today but today is the day I suffer the consequences. Back on the 21st I played poker with some friends, and I brought my wallet which had some Christmas shopping funds in it. Well the folks playing told me it was a $10 buy in, and I had to give it to our friends dad. I offered the $10 and one of my $100 bills showed itself and, of course, my friends dad make a joke about how he’d take that instead. He also told me the $10 buy in was them pulling my leg, and continued to make fun of the guys I was playing with for not having jobs. Well I can accuse unemployed people all day long of stealing it, but at the end of the day I’ve lost my wallet containing $600 in it, roughly $400 was supposed to go toward 3 families I adopted to get Christmas presents for, and the remaining was what I was gonna use to finish my shopping for my family. Well it’s Christmas Eve and the banks are closed, so there’s 3 less fortunate families out there who aren’t getting a Christmas, and a couple family members that aren’t gonna get Christmas from me
Also, if you’re wondering how it took me so long to notice that it was missing, I haven’t left the house hardly since poker due to the weather in my area. That’s the same reason why I had to wait for Christmas Eve to shop
tl;dr I carried too much money in cash with me, was too irresponsible to keep track of it and am letting down not only my family members, but three less fortunate families
AcrobaticSource3: Two questions: 1) are you looking for a way to make $400 quick? 2) how cute are your feet?
RedDidItAndYouKnowIt: I am a sexy beast of a dad and I will totally show off my dad bod!
AcrobaticSource3: I’m getting wet thinking about this!
RedDidItAndYouKnowIt: Awww yeah! Christmas miracles for all!
| 5 | 20.6 | |
1669989369 | 1670007257 | t3_zamxnl | t5_2to41 | 9,998 | srtipy_and_pink: TIFU by going to work
[removed]
takesnobs: Time to get a lock and a camera for your room! And, maybe a new roommate because that’s just nasty.
srtipy_and_pink: Thankfully, I do have a lock on the door. I just never use it because I thought I could trust my roomies. Seems that’s not the case
Inuyasha-rules: Leave it unlocked and just start her an OF account
srtipy_and_pink: This is my favourite so far
Redeyedcheese: All jokes aside be careful pf revenge porn laws in your city/state
srtipy_and_pink: /country. Also I won’t actually do this, it’s too far
CelticMysticism: I'm guessing ireland? I can hear it though the comments haha
srtipy_and_pink: Bet when I said ‘rent is crazy in my country’ you were like ‘ohhh yeah we got an Irish’. If so, you’re dead on
CelticMysticism: Things like 'shout' etc had me suspicious at first, the rent comment just confirmed it.
Here's me jealous that you only have to deal with roommates invading your privacy and I've not even managed to move out yet
srtipy_and_pink: Ah, that would do it. I work with a lot of people who have English as their second language, and they really struggle to understand me because I talk so very Irish. I made the mistake of saying ‘I’m not arsed’ to someone. Cue a long discussion about ‘but why would that be a phrase’
But honestly, it’s madness out here. I was incredibly lucky with my landlord. It’s sadly usually people you know
CelticMysticism: That's the way with everything in this country, all about who you know.
| 12 | 833.166667 | |
1670595463 | 1670671855 | t3_zgyhtd | t5_2to41 | 24,682 | jesseberdinka: TIFU by giving my daughter a potato for a Christmas present.
Obligatory this happened a while ago.
When my daughter was 6 she was obsessed with the TV show *Little House on the Prairie* which delight my wife and me who loved the show when we were kids.
In the pilot episode, the family was so poor that each of the girls got a new cup, a shiny new penny, and a potato as a gift for Christmas. My daughter couldn't stop talking about it.
Now my family is really big into taking practical jokes too far. There was the feral daughter kept in a cage prank of 2010 and the Bloody Leprechaun joke of 2013, but this one really backfired on us.
After she went to bed on Christmas Eve, we hid all of her real presents behind the couch and left one package in the middle of the floor. When she came down she seemed surprised that there was only one gift but carefully unwrapped it to reveal, you guessed it, a shiny tin cup, a brand new penny, and a potato.
Attached was a note from Santa:
*Molly,*
*I heard how much you love the Little House show, Here's hoping you have a very PRAIRIE Christmas.*
*Love,*
*Santa*
She grabbed the potato and started to cry. Uh oh. I really screwed up this time. However, it wasn't because she was upset, but because she was so happy. Even when we revealed her other gifts she only wanted to be with her potato. She drew a face on it and carried it around with her everywhere.
But it started to go bad. First, it turned green and started to sprout eyelets. Eventually, we had a very traumatic experience where the potato disappeared in the night. She's 17 now and still talks wistfully about the potato every Christmas.
TL;DR I once gave a potato to my daughter as a practical joke and ended up backfiring when she ended up loving it and we had to get rid of it before it went gangrene.
Edit: Y'all wanted the Leprechaun story? I just posted it too.
Sailor_Chibi: You know what you need to do right? This Christmas, do the exact same thing. She’ll find it hilarious and wholesome.
jesseberdinka: Lol. We actually got her a potato shaped pillow last year.
yourmothermypocket: Legit the most wholesome TIFU I've ever read. Well played OP.
jesseberdinka: Not all of our pranks have gone this well.
Peacer13: Time to farm more karma OP. Give us another.
jesseberdinka: One a day my brother . Lol.
MyMiddleNameIsMartin: Yeah I think I need to hear about this Bloody leprechaun story....
jesseberdinka: I'll tell it next week. Lol.
aririri1101: Is there a way to subscribe or sth cuz I don't wanna miss it!
GeekMomma: I’m not sure but you can “follow” the user; there’s a button on their profile for it
| 11 | 2,243.818182 | |
1671924827 | 1671989247 | t3_zulndg | t5_2to41 | 9,054 | Choice_Ad9265: TIFU by getting my 66 year old father a book
So I (30f) planned Christmas Eve boxes for parents (both 66) and my boyfriend (31m). These things have been stressing me tf out. I hand burned (pyrography) individual designs on each box and went out and bough fluffy socks, a puzzle book, an interesting book, some chocolates and some alcohol.
My father is notoriously hard to buy for. He has everything he could possibly need, so my partner helped me find the books to put in his box. We went for a small sudoku book and a book called 'Brilliantly Bad' subtitled 'Inventions so bad they're good'. I flicked open, saw a page called 'combined coat and urinal', giggled and told my boyfriend we shouldn't, he similarly flicked to a page and found something equally as benign and said it was fine. Agreed, we purchased the book and it was placed in his box, happily containing it's knowledge until tonight.
We all opened our boxes, much oohing and ahhing at the thoughtful books, everyone begins to flick through. I'm joyfully watching the happiness I have brought to my loved ones and then I look over at my father.
The man who raised me is say there slowly turning deeper shades of red as he tries desperately to maintain his composure and not laugh. I ask what he's spotted, expecting that he's having a chuckle over the urinal coat or some other underpant related invention. Nope, he giggles like a school girl and announces to the room that he's looking at a design for a 'sexual device with a smoking pipe'. My other half loses it and is giggling almost as much as my father. My mother looks horrified, and I want the ground to open up and swallow me. But no, it doesn't. Instead my father regales us with such wonders as 'The Musical Condom', 'Man's DIY erection truss', 'Nipple Suppression Device' and 'Portable Vibrating Bidet'. My mother is trying to process what's going on whilst asking questions that should never be uttered by a 66 year old woman such as 'why does a bidet need to vibrate? Why are they talking about nipples? What's that picture of?'.
Needless to say my father thinks this is the best Christmas present ever and wishes to take it to all family events over the next few weeks, my boyfriend is gleefully laughing at my complete and utter embarrassment, and my mother keeps asking about things that I never ever wanted to discuss with her.
So yeah, Christmas is great!
TL;DR; I bought my 66 father a book filled with NSFW inventions without realising and now my mother won't stop asking me questions I really do not want to answer.
AutisticPenguin2: Reply with "I'll tell you when you're older". Give her a taste of her own medicine 😀
Choice_Ad9265: I just make the sound of a strangled meerkat and swiftly exit whatever room she's in 😅 no mother I will not explain to you why 'Decorative Penile Wrap' is apparently a thing.
MrScrib: *She knows.*
She's been playing innocent since she was a third your age, but you weren't born from nowhere.
AdvonKoulthar: [XKCD](https://xkcd.com/830/)
SpicyRice99: Does XKCD really have a comic for EVERYTHING?
SturgiesYrFase: Yes
Tahoma-sans: Is there one for XKCD having a comic for everything?
TimeWandrer: There is, it’s linked below.
Tahoma-sans: close enough
| 10 | 905.4 | |
1671926128 | 1671928858 | t3_zum1kl | t5_2to41 | 43 | Certifiedcatrasimp: TIFU by unintentionally suggesting my friend deepthroat a hotdog
I 14f was talking to my friend 15f when she stumbled across an instagram reel that was pretty much some sort of joke about penis (I don’t remember what the reel was but it involved dick). before this conversation she thought the balls were on the top and she was very shocked to find out theyre actually under the penis. during lunch we started talking to my guy friends about this because we thought it was funny. I had thought the same thing before one of them told me the balls were not in fact on top so we started discussing facts about penises together. Apparently, my friend also thought 7 inches was average. she was very surprised to find out the average for an adult male was closer to 5. it was so funny that this other girl (who btw also thought the balls were on top prior to this conversation) took out a ruler and we started measuring objects that were 5 inches to show her that 5 inches was not small. here comes the fuck up.
so I grabbed my friends hotdog and conviniently it measured exactly 5 inches. atp she was still shocked that 5 inches was average so I told her that she should try to shove the hot dog in her mouth all at once so she can see that it isn’t small, completely not realizing the implication and how fucking weird it was to suggest she do that in front of everyone. I ended up cutting myself off midway and apologizing because I didn’t realize how it would sound. I don’t think she was paying attention when i said that and my guy friends just laughed it off after I apologized repeatedly because i’m the type of person to say things like that by accident. my friend group has said much worse tho, so I think i’ll be able to recover from this.
tldr: my friend thought 5 inches was small so I told her to shove a 5 inch long hotdog bun in her mouth in front of all my guy friends without realizing the implication.
PlasticInTheBasket: The most embarrassing part of this is high-school girls that think testicles were above penises
Hamlyy: Yeah, don't they teach basic anatomy in biology classes over there or something?
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1671927360 | 1672005102 | t3_zumf35 | t5_2to41 | 656 | throwaway4829dndiw92: TIFU by telling wife she shouldn't have aborted our first kid
*throwaway just in case*
Okay so I (32M) and my wife (25F) have been trying for a kid for two years. 5 years ago though, at the start of our relationship she got pregnant. I was ecstatic as I always wanted to be a dad but she hated it. She told me she never wanted this and that she was getting an abortion. I begged her not to but she did it anyways
We didn't talk for a year and went our separate ways as I hated the thought of her at that point. At the time I felt she was wrong for her decision and didn't give me a say or let me have any input which soured our relationship.
We reconnected 3 years ago and she ultimately changed her mind about kids. We got along better and we seemed reconnected.
My wife has had fertility issues and so far, we haven't had any luck with having a kid. Finally after we found out for the 3rd time she had yet another miscarriage and she was sitting on the toilet bawling. I felt disgusted. In the moment i said some things I shouldn't have said basically that she shouldn't have aborted our first child. She stormed out, took her car and left I haven't been able to reach her. I called her sister looking for her and she just told me that I was a piece of shit person and to never contact them again and divorce papers would be served.
I'm freaking out cause I love my wife I just don't think what I said was worth this reaction am I really wrong? I know I fucked up and i apologized i just want my wife back
tl,dr- told wife she shouldn't have aborted our first kid, now might be getting a divorce
not_falling_down: So when she was at a very low point, after a 3rd miscarriage, you choose to viciously attack her. I wound not blame her if she left permanently.
Given that three pregnancies miscarried, there is a very good chance that, had she chosen to continue that first pregnancy, it would have miscarried as well. You are blaming her for something that is not in any way her fault. You should be ashamed of yourself.
throwaway4829dndiw92: I'm not ashamed just upset I let my anger get to me like that. But leaving is her choice but thanks to another commenter I'm probably gonna serve her divorce papers soon.
OceanDweller94: I hope she serves them first. The way youre talking is borderline incel. Her sister (and her) arent wrong about the type of human being you are.
throwaway4829dndiw92: If im an incel for stating my feelings, guess I'm a incel. I don't give a shit who serves them first I want to just because I want it done as fast as possible. If she serves them today on Christmas I really wouldn't care at least the ball would be rolling then.
ferndeer: You are so lying out of your teeth. Someone who doesn't care doesn't reply to every single comment that even slightly makes them feel attacked. Genuinely grow a pair and learn to take accountability.
throwaway4829dndiw92: Nah I'm being 100% truthful. Once I'm done with something I'm done. I've taken accountability. I know what I said was cruel. I apologized I'm even planning on moving out of our shared home so she can have a place to stay. I'll admit I do feel attacked which is why ive been commenting but my words are true. I can't keep going back and forth with her. My memories of her are tainted and I don't want to create new ones. I want to have a new life.
ferndeer: Yeah that's why you're spending hours replying to everyone. Because you're moving on /s.... Look inwards.
throwaway4829dndiw92: If you'd read what I replied to you you'd see that I have looked inwards smartass. I reply so people can understand my side but it seems people like you don't listen. Why shouldnt i move on she has and she has nothing i need anymore. Merry Christmas!
hdmx539: >she has nothing i need anymore. Merry Christmas!
Yup, you just wanted an incubator. 🙄😬
Panikkrazy: He wants an ANCHOR to prevent her from leaving him.
| 11 | 59.636364 | |
1671929236 | 1672184507 | t3_zumyq8 | t5_2to41 | 113 | [deleted]: TIFU by laughing at my husband for getting hit by a car
[deleted]
TinyFollowing162: In my opinion, you're NTA but there is a time and a place. You gotta learn to code switch sis!
lofuhp: Wrong thread
TinyFollowing162: Listen I had a rough couple of days this thread and aita has been saving my life lmao
lofuhp: Haha! Don't worry was just pulling your leg, hope youre alright.
| 5 | 22.6 | |
1670967917 | 1670984509 | t3_zl7yxb | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TIFU by going out for a run with my friends.
[removed]
DogToesSmellofFritos: If this is real, I hope she gets you arrested. You deserve to die.
GadgetusAddicti: Whoa... dial it back a bit. He deserves to serve time and slapped with a restraining order, but nobody needs to die here.
DogToesSmellofFritos: Tried to rape someone he’s known and called his friend his whole life. Absolute scum. He deserves to be ruined in every sense. There are few worse violations of trust.
GadgetusAddicti: As described, this is considered sexual assault, not rape. I won't disagree that this guy and his friend are scum, but there are appropriate punishments for these crimes, and they don't involve death.
DogToesSmellofFritos: He would have if she hadn’t been sobbing and begging him to stop. No amount of probation or forgiveness is deserved here. He pinned her down, physically violated her, licked her, took pictures. He’s a sick fuck. People like that don’t deserve to be part of society.
TianaTrench: Dude. I'm kinda on your side. Fuck OP.
| 7 | 9.142857 | |
1669995667 | 1670068014 | t3_zapdmp | t5_2to41 | 4 | Silver-Assistance-72: TIFU by outing a friend.
I(17NB) (not out yet) had a childhood friend Nina(17f). We were so close, we were practically sisters. So recently, Nina came out as Bisexual and is dating Mini (17f). We are all from India and people here are generally blind (barely tolerating it or 'it's none of our business or 'that's their dirty secret') about queerness. She was going to come out to her uncle that afternoon. Now both of us adore this uncle, he is the nicest guy on earth and was like a counsellor or an older brother to us. Whenever we had issues, we would talk to him. We never really told him or even mentioned queerness around him but he seemed open-minded. So, assuming she came out to him, I mentioned her bisexuality while talking to him that evening. He ended up being a homophobe and outed her to the whole family. Now, they grounded her, forced her to break up with Mini and are planning on sending her to conversion therapy. This is all my fault. I don't know what to do. I ended up ruining her life. Now they monitor her every move and don't even allow her to dress masculinely. I effed up big time.
TL; Dr: I ended up outing a friend and her family turned out to be conservative. Now they are sending her to conversion therapy.
brotha_rich_hung: There is a lesson in here somewhere....
Silver-Assistance-72: ??
Significant_Gain_631: Why are you getting downvoted. Its almost as if you cant leave and that's why youre confused
| 4 | 1 | |
1671930847 | 1671946362 | t3_zunfae | t5_2to41 | 1,488 | Upstairs_Ad_8558: TIFU by getting caught by my Mom using a dildo for the first time...on Christmas Eve
So I'm a guy and I've been struggling with my sexuality, wondering if I'm bi or gay. I've never done anything with another guy and have always heavily repressed any thoughts, pushed them out of my head. I got to the point almost two weeks ago where I thought "Fuck it, I need to start experimenting to at least know who I am, I don't want to be an old man and not know." So I order a dildo and a couple things online.
Now, I live in an apartment with my Mom and this is the first Christmas we're spending without my Dad, who passed away from cancer in the last year. Mom decides that spending Christmas at home with just me like we always did as a family would remind her too much of Dad, because it would just be all the things we normally do...without him. So instead she arranges to go spend Christmas with some friends a few cities over. She offers for me to come too but I say no because I don't know them well and honestly, in the back of my mind I thought, "This is my chance to really have a weekend to myself, and that's the perfect time to try this dildo".
Today we exchange presents early and my Mom leaves and I prep like I'm expecting the Santa of sex to show up, even though I'm alone. I take a long hot bath, I groom myself, I put on the nice bed sheets. In a way, this is all partly a way to have me forget about my Dad too, do something so wild that I just don't think about Christmas.
Here come the fuck ups. One, I shut off my phone because I wanted no distractions. Two, because I assumed my Mom would be gone til Tuesday, I didn't lock my bedroom door. Three, I put on gay porn on noise-canceling headphones.
Oh and fourth, I didn't check any weather reports, because if I did I would've known about massive snow storms, more severe than both me and my Mom were expecting. I would've known that the highway my Mom was going to be traveling on ended up getting temporarily shut down, and I would've had my phone on to either check with her or receive calls from her that she was coming home.
But I didn't. I didn't hear those calls, I didn't lock those doors. You know what's happening and the timing couldn't be worse, because of ALL THE TIMES during this day she could've come home, she had to come home when I was using the dildo for the first time. When I was having a formative sexual experience that may have changed the way I viewed my sexuality. She could've come 40 minutes earlier and caught me masturbating, she could've come 60 minutes later and caught me, I don't know, eating a sandwich or something.
Instead, my Mom saw me on my bed, on my hands and knees, in front of a laptop playing gay porn, my ass facing my door, pushing a dildo in and out of my ass. She immediately closed the door and just shouted "WHY WASN'T YOUR PHONE ON" in a tone that immediately let me know she was angry at me, and God, and the concept of snow, for putting her in a position to see her son stuffed with seven inches of fake dong.
Oh, and she was holding two bags full of delicious food she had brought back as a surprise since she was going to have to stay home for the holidays with me.
We had a very brief, very awkward conversation but I can tell she doesn't want to talk about it right now and honestly neither do I. We've both hidden in our rooms, the food has gone uneaten.
I am such a fucking idiot. If I had taken just one of three or four precautions, just one of them, I wouldn't be in this situation. Now, this kind of huge moment in my life, is always going to be tied to the most embarrassing memory of my life and meanwhile I've ruined the first Christmas my Mom has had without her husband. Because I was horny. Merry Christmas
TL;DR My Mom caught me on Christmas Eve, the first one since my Dad died, having my first gay experience fucking myself with a dildo because I wasn't smart enough to do even one of four simple things that would've prevented her from catching me
AcrobaticSource3: Frankincense, myrrh, and dildo were the gifts of the 3 wise men
DipperBrizzle: Youre thibking of dido
CopeAndKodiak: My tea's gone cold I'm wonderin why
GoKickRox: I got out of bed at all.
ezio1452: Morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
GoKickRox: And I can't see at all
ezio1452: Even if I could, it'd all be gray
GoKickRox: But your picture on my wall
ezio1452: It reminds me that it's not so bad
GoKickRox: Its not so baaaaddd....
mettrolsghost: Dear Slim, I wrote you but you still ain't callin
| 12 | 124 | |
1671932163 | 1671934745 | t3_zunsg4 | t5_2to41 | 14 | arothmanmusic: TIFU by failing to power-off my electric lighter before touching the contacts.
We've got one of these USB-rechargeable electric lighters. It's got a lithium ion battery in it. When you push the switch forward, it creates a little electrical arc between two contacts. My kids love to use it and will sometimes argue over who gets to do it.
We were preparing to light candles tonight and my son couldn't get the electric lighter to work. I figured maybe there was wax on the contacts from a previous night.
Stupidly, I didn't think to turn off the power switch before extending the electric contacts and touching both wires with my fingers.
Needless to say, I took a pretty hefty jolt to the hand. Felt the buzz shoot all the way up my arm. It really sucked. I shall not do that again.
TL;DR - Mildly tased myself in front of my wife and kids while trying to clean off an electric lighter.
moleware: Wait.... These lighters work as defence weapons? Sign me up!
MyNameIsRay: No, they don't. It's an order of magnitude off.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1671924316 | 1671941391 | t3_zulhoz | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing money which was supposed to be a gift.
[deleted]
RudeSprinkles1240: Sure! Just send me your address and I'll mail you an Amazon gift card. No problem! Also some nude pictures and the account and routing numbers for my checking account. And my social security number. What else do you need?
Zealousideal-Cash-29: I don’t understand the joke, but happy cake day! And merry Christmas!
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1670000224 | 1670033010 | t3_zar6pq | t5_2to41 | 1,068 | melskymob: TIFU by over cooking my shirt
TIFU by leaving my shirt in the microwave too long
Ok, I can't be the only one that dries clothes in the microwave sometimes right? I'm not talking wet, just damp. Like stuff that didn't dry all the way in the dryer? It usually works just fine as long as it's not for very long. My uncle Cosmo taught me the trick. (Joke)
Anyways my shirt was damp from being out in the snow so I tossed in in the microwave and I thought I only hit thirty seconds and took a quick shower. But I had actually hit five minutes. Yup. After drying stuff hundreds of times I finally did it.
Luckily it wasn't in for five minutes, my shower was a quick so it was only in for three minutes. I heard the microwave and ran out to stop it but my shirt had already begun to melt.
Be careful when you dry your stuff in the microwave or oven. I am just glad my showers are short and actually stopped a fire today.
TL;DR : left my shirt in the microwave too long.
RudeSprinkles1240: Ew. Don't put cloth in the microwave. The only thing you might be able to get away with is putting a very soaked, 100% cotton face cloth in the microwave for about 30 seconds if you want a hot towel for your face.
melskymob: I've done it hundreds of times and it always works. Until today.
RudeSprinkles1240: Wellnow, it doesn't always work, does it?
melskymob: Like I said, until today. And it was only because I hit the wrong time. But I'll continue to microwave my clothes because it is extremely helpful in a pinch.
RudeSprinkles1240: See you on some "stupid ways to die" video someday.
melskymob: See you on some "I don't get the joke" sub reddit someday.
RudeSprinkles1240: Yeah.
No.
melskymob: I really didn't think I'd need to explain the joke.
https://youtu.be/kMimygVTgbU
Here is the reference for those that don't get it.
RudeSprinkles1240: So you were lying? Thought so.
melskymob: Yeah it was a reference for cool people. If you don't understand it then you're not very cool.
RudeSprinkles1240: Okay
melskymob: 
| 13 | 82.153846 | |
1671933269 | 1671976253 | t3_zuo35q | t5_2to41 | 88 | bazilbt: TIFU by sending my parents chocolate for Christmas
I sent some bars of dark chocolate via Amazon to my parents as stocking stuffers for Christmas. They usually send me stuff every year and I thought I would return the favor. So I got them six dark chocolate bars of various types. They are about three ounces each.
Unfortunately my gifts were all mixed together with other gifts and they didn't want to open anything until Christmas. So they stuck everything under the Christmas tree.
They have two large dogs, and the dogs smelled the chocolate and sometime today decided to eat the chocolate. Thankfully we figured that the larger dog ate it, and that he only ate two of the bars because the shipments where in different packages. They induced vomiting and he seems like he will be alright. The vet says his weight and the type of chocolate doesn't put him in danger.
TLDR I sent my parents chocolate for Christmas, the dog ate it and now they have to make sure he doesn't die.
yesindeedio1: When I read the title, I immediately thought you sent your parents chocolate with weed in it or something lol. Hope the dog is alright though.
Supdud3sss: Like the weed cookies?
| 3 | 29.333333 | |
1671938778 | 1671995611 | t3_zupk7k | t5_2to41 | 39 | GodsLeftAsscheek: TIFU by asking two guys if they "were together"
This actually happened a few months ago and I only just remembered this story after hearing another r/TIFU that reminded me of it.
So I have a summer job at an amusement park; the foods department to be exact. We often get moved around food stands but I typically worked in the funnel cake stand. This night was no exception.
I was making the funnel cakes this night and we were pretty slow at this point. It was night time and it was lightly raining. So I decided I was just gonna make the funnel cakes when they were ordered rather than making a bunch in advance and letting them get cold. The way our system works is: the person at the register will take the orders and then a piece of paper with the order will come out of the printer on the serving table that's also near the fryers. On days where it's slow it's easy to forget to throw away the paper once we're done with it and just leave it in the printer by accident so it's good to check in with customers to make sure you get the right orders. So I'm sitting by the fryers and two guys walk up to the window and are standing next to each other. As per usual I checked the printer to see what they ordered and I saw two separate orders for the same funnel cake had printed. I was trying to figure out if they had both ordered a funnel cake, if there was somebody behind them who had, or if I had forgotten to throw away a receipt. So naturally I go and ask them. Here's where my fuck up happens:
I asked them: "are you guys together?" As I usually do.
One of them answered "yes" and the other guy answered "no" while they were both laughing (they didn't answer exactly like that I just can't remember verbatim how they phrased it.) I laughed as well in that "I'm required to humor you guys" kinda way assuming one of them was joking and just decided to make both the funnel cakes. Worse case scenario is I have to throw the extra away. I begin to make the funnel cakes like normal and I'm trying to figure out what they meant by it... then it hit me like sock full of quarters. Oh fuck, these two guys I've never met before in my life thought I was asking if they were in a relationship. The entire time I'm making their funnel cakes I'm trying to decided if I should just ignore it or if I should apologize and tell them I didn't mean it in creepy way. Most people probably would have just ignored it, right? Yeah, no. Not my dumbass, over-thinking, awkward, self. As I'm handing them their funnel cakes I said:
"just so you guys know, I was asking if you had ordered together; I wasn't trying to ask anything weird and personal."
Splendid. Way to make it even more awkward, you fuck wipe!
They both laughed it off and told me it was ok and walked off together with their funnel cakes.
I wanted to waterboard myself with the fryer oil.
TL;DR: while trying to ask two men if their order was together I made them think I was asking if they were in a relationship.
unsatisfeels: so did they get free cake
GodsLeftAsscheek: Nah, but judging by their reaction to the question it is quite possible that more than just funnel cakes were eaten that night.
unsatisfeels: yall frost that shit with powdered sugars?
GodsLeftAsscheek: Oh yeah, they were pretty damn good funnel cakes. I was always generous with the powder.
| 5 | 7.8 | |
1671684923 | 1671686035 | t3_zscp1c | t5_2to41 | 17 | Nearby_Seesaw_5782: TIFU by not hyping up a gift enough
***This is probably useless since I'm not expecting this to get a ton of views but please don't post this anywhere else (aka those weird tik tok accounts). My situation really isn't that great and it could cause more problems.***
I (m/16) have been going through a lot lately. I've been feeling depressed for about a week now about many things and it's been really hard to have energy and motivation lately. Well today I was with my older brother (m/23) and he said that he had an "early christmas gift" for me. For context my older brother has several mental health issues. Everything from depression to anxiety to what seems like DID. He's also got problems with addiction and we honestly never know when he is and isn't doing these drugs. This will make sense later.
I opened it and he had given me a small spiderman plushie, it was like 8 dollars but it was cute. I said thank you but feeling drained still it came off a lot more half assed than it should have. This is where I fucked up. He gave me a hug but immediately after his whole mood did a 180. He stormed away from me and he goes "Fucking dumbass bitch I wasted my money and you don't even like it". I told him that it was nice and that I was happy but nope. He wasn't having it. He refused to talk to me or look at me and would randomly yell shit about how I was a freak and how I was ungrateful.
Then he calls up his mom and starts whining to her about how I was sooo much to deal with and that I had hurt his feelings and he hated me. I was so confused, had no idea what to do. I was like nervous laughing which got him even more pissed off. He comes up to me and goes "Give me the fucking gift I'll give it to someone else since you don't like it". I told him that I appreciated it and not to take it and he's all like "Ima have gifts for all our family on Christmas and nothing for you, you don't deserve anymore gifts not ever again". I was honestly hurt I couldn't even say nothing to that. I mean what response would even make sense in that situation.
He ignored me for a while then stormed back into the room, asked me for about the 50th time if I liked my gift. I'm like "Yes I love it Jamel I'm very happy". He says alright and storms into the next room, then calls up our neighbor still complaining about me!! This man was literally *crying* talking about how everyone gets on his nerves and that he worked so hard but I didn't appreciate it. I just went up to my room and took a nap cause I wasn't trying to be involved in this anymore.
Fast forward a few hours later I woke up and went downstairs thinking he maybe calmed down but of course he didn't. We ended up having this whole argument about it where he told me he wanted to "beat my ass" and that I needed to get my shit together because I "make everybody miserable". We went back and forth for a while, I can't even remember half of the argument but it was bad. At the end of everything he called my mom and told her word for word "You need to come get him because istg I'm either gonna hurt him or I'm gonna hurt myself and I'd rather it be me". He didn't say anything to me past that point. My mom came and got me and we just kinda ate dinner and went on with the night like nothing ever happened.
Later my brother texted me asking me, once again, if I liked the gift and wrote me a whole paragraph about how hard he worked to get it for me. I told him I loved it and said thank you, he said I was welcome and that he loved me. Never did apologize for the whole breakdown but what can ya do. I just have so many questions still. Like I've done so much worse to this guy and he didn't have this strong of a reaction. Last year we were in a fight and I literally went out of my way to make him this half-assed mug that said "I hate my brother", he cried and didn't talk to me for a bit but that was all. I think he's having problems or something but either way this was scary. I'm very thankful that he didn't hurt me or himself. I'm seeing him tomorrow and hopefully it'll go better.
TL;DR I was too tired to get hyped about my older brother's present, he got mad and cussed me out and my mom had to pick me up so that he wouldn't hurt me.
sweetoother: Hang in there man! Sometimes we all get into fights with our families especially during those teenage/early adult years and the holidays just add to it. Usually it blows over in time, so don’t let it ruin your holiday.
Just be patient with your brother, some of us struggle with gift giving entirely, financials unrelated, But that can add extra stress to it.
I can’t wait to disappoint my family with my awful gifts this year… SMH.
Nearby_Seesaw_5782: Felt that I think the best gift I'm giving everybody this year are colorful candy canes cause I am brokeee and out of ideas 😭
FilthyGorilla44: Just make something small and loving, usually it’s the meaning and intention behind the gift rather than the gift itself which matters.
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1671944296 | 1671946650 | t3_zuqzr1 | t5_2to41 | 57 | ladderinstairs: TIFU By looking at power tools
So this just happened, so it's still kind of fresh. Anyways I am a maintenance mechanic for a trailer park by trade, so I have the need for lots of tools. I was using the Google machine to look up some power tools I need, specifically, a miter box saw, a table saw, and a hand sander. Well, I found what I was looking for, and started muttering tomyself "ooo, that's sexy a sexy bitch", "I bet that would fit perfectly in my hand", "I would definitely not pay for that", and "Any guy would by lucky to have her". Unfortunately, my fiance was sitting on the couch across from me and AUTOMATICALLY thought I was looking at porn. So, she looked at me angrily, told me to fuck off, and stormed off to the bed room. My ignorant self went and asked her what was wrong, and she broke down and said how inappropriate it was that I was looking at Porn right infront of her, and that how dare I lie to her about watching porn(I don't par take in watching porn). I tried to explain to her that I was looking at power tools to purchase after my payday, and I how I must have gotten carried away. I showed her my search history, and let her scoure my phone to prove my innocence. Luckily, that calmed her down, however she is now disappointed that I talk Sexier about power tools than I talk about her.
Tldr: Dod sexy talk about power tools, fiance thought I was watching porn, and is now jealous that I don't talk like that to her.
fliguana: Suuuure. Power tools
ladderinstairs: At least she didn't hear me say "I'd tap that" referring to my tap and dye set 😂😅
fliguana: If TapCons were involved, you'd be screwed.
P.s. it's tap and die set, unless you colorizing your holes.
ladderinstairs: .... I have been spelling that wrong for 9 years and youre the only one to correct me. Thank you for that
fliguana: Sorry 🤷?
ladderinstairs: I'm pissed at the fact I never caught it 😂
| 7 | 8.142857 | |
1670904570 | 1670933092 | t3_zklv6k | t5_2to41 | 3,243 | Omylanta21: TIFU by trusting Pinocchio with del Toro and my kids
TIFU by trusting Pinocchio by del Toro and my kids
Never could convince my 9 - and 7 year old to watch the original or even the new Disney version of Pinocchio.
It's a gorgeous film. The cinematography is phenomenal. The songs are great.
I don't want to ruin it for those who have not seen it, but there's a reason it's called "Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio."
We should have thought ahead. We should have given like half a second of thought more.
Of course, he'd go with the original story of Pinocchio.
Dead kid. Nazis. Another dead kid. Like, a LOT of dead kids. I mean, God damn. This movie.
Of course they would.
I even TOLD my husband it may be a bad idea for the 7 year old. He said it'd be "more whimsical" than scary. It's a great movie. Fantastic even.
But my husband was dead wrong. Visually, holy God the horror. I may have nightmares.
There is no "Got no Strings on Me" in this version. My 9 year old adores it. My seven year old.....will never recover.
TL;DR: assumed del Toro's Pinocchio would be just whimsy. We were dead wrong. Multiple children type dead wrong.
Edit: as this post gains what seems like popularity, I'd like to add some context.
My 9-year old is all about horror. She loved the first installment of IT, the new Chucky movie.
My 7-year old prefers fantasy, like Willow, Lord of the Rings, and comedy like the Simpsons.
This created an interesting opportunity to explain to my oldest some things she didn't understand- like the indoctrination of Nazi youth by their parents. It provided a viewpoint not many have covered and I appreciated the opportunity for her to make the connections she did.
powertoolsarefun: I appreciate this post. I probably would have TIFUed the exact same way otherwise.
Omylanta21: It's seriously beautiful. But watch it without the littles. It's PG...but....some things....are harder to....PG to a 7-year old. Whew, boy.
mrcatboy: Hubby probably should've learned this lesson after Pan's Labyrinth.
Omylanta21: I. BROUGHT. THIS. UP.
He dismissed me! Dammit! I do get gloating rights. And had many moments of wonderful "I truly understand I made the wrong call" eye contact moments with him during the film. In the end it just made for some laughs about how dumb it was to not preview first.
We've done it in the past with other movies and were thankful we did. We just dropped that ball. There's a few more therapy sessions in her future we added tonight, I think.
svinka_only: I grew up with The Shining, Child’s Play, Alien, Predator, Total Recall, Legend ( I could go on )….all before I was 9 years old.
I think your kiddos will be alright 😅♥️
bludwin: Bold of you to assume you're alright
svinka_only: Fair enough hahaha
I’m not. But WHO IS?! The older I get, the more I see that no one is actually “alright”. At least I’m a high-functioning type of messed up. Haha
Also, we all should do therapy, even if we haven’t been through anything traumatic. It’s just good maintenance for the soul :)
Edit:
For the record, I didn’t actually indicate anywhere that I assume I’m alright 😌 you did - but I take it you just did a silly on me and I accept.
a_sacrilegiousboi: bold of you to assume the internet cares more about what you actually said than trying to be funny
svinka_only: Not with that attitude! Haha
Please, do yourself and your plushies a favour and get out to see the sun a little more. Make some real pals, you know? Human interaction in real life and such? You’ll be a little less angry. I promise 💕
Ps: Nothing against plushies. I have a few of my own for nostalgia’s sake.
a_sacrilegiousboi: damn didn’t realise that would come across rudely
also did you actually go through my post history 💀 that’s a bit grim
svinka_only: Hey,
It might be just me. It’s 5:30am here and I still haven’t slept because of my annoying bff, Deep Anxiety.
English is also my third language and I may have misread your comment a little. After posting that reply to you ( which I thought was still playful the way I’m feeling and I guess it’s a bit more insulting than I intended it to turn out after reading through again - so my apologies ).
I did scroll through the first 5 posts on your wall and honestly, that sculpture is definitely haunting my brain now, and I bet I won’t sleep anytime soon.
I would like to take back my tongue in cheek shitty insult. Hope you can forgive me.
a_sacrilegiousboi: Yo dw about it
This is the internet people say stupid shit that they don’t mean all the time
In the grand scheme of things whatever slight you may have committed is very *slight* ~~please laugh~~
your English is really good btw, it’s a difficult language to learn.
Edit: also, some entitled people are very very patronising, and if you make a joke speaking the way you did it can be difficult to distinguish between misguided but well-meaning joke and pretentious prick. At least for me, idk lmao
svinka_only: Haha yeah, precisely. It’s easy to get carried away. Also, sarcasm is a totally different animal, and hard to get sometimes, without hearing the tone of voice.
Honestly, I am the one who needs to get out more often and get some fresh air. Been mostly staying in and working non stop.
And thanks! English was actually easy, for me anyways!
Cheers ✨
a_sacrilegiousboi: Cheers mate
Glad you’re a good bloke, or lady
Have a good one
svinka_only: I’m a lady, but don’t mind the bloke comment. Makes me feel like I’m a part of something cool 😎
Have a lovely day!
a_sacrilegiousboi: Yeah I saw your username and thought “svinka sounds like a feminine Slavic name” so decided to make sure lol
svinka_only: Nailed it! 🤓
| 18 | 180.166667 | |
1670006212 | 1670007878 | t3_zatq1u | t5_2to41 | 20 | randomguyfromnj: TIFU by accidentally throwing away my sister’s brand new clothes
Never thought I would have to post here, but here it goes.
So today is garbage day and I am the “garbage man” of the house. I’m in charge of taking all of the garbage out. Today started like any other day. We keep these reusable grocery bags, and we he had to get rid of some because we had too many in the house. My mother told me to take out some of the bags, but I only saw one on the dining room table. I saw what looked to be a grocery bag with other grocery bags inside, so I just went ahead and took it out, like my mother told me to.
A couple of hours later, after the garbage truck had already come and took the garbage, my sister comes up to me and asked me if I threw away anything on the dining room table. I assume she wasn’t referring to the grocery bags and told her no. She was looking for a bag of new clothes that were in a green grocery bag. That’s when I realized I had effed up. Apparently the color of the clothes matched the bag so I didn’t notice.
My mother then showed me where the other bags were, and they were on the floor. I didn’t notice before, and I assumed she meant the bag on the table.
I begin to apologize profusely, and my sister was crying because she was so excited about her new clothes and had spent $50 on them. She eventually forgave me, but I still feel terrible.
TL;DR: Garbage day, saw bag on table, assumed it was trash, but it was my sister’s new clothes. $50 down the drain.
RudeSprinkles1240: "Reusable garbage bags?!?!" Please explain further. It sounds quite unsanitary.
randomguyfromnj: I meant to say “grocery” bags. Oops.
RudeSprinkles1240: Oh, okay. Shoo. I was honestly picturing some plastic bags with handles that the trash people emptied into the truck and left on the curb to use again, like traditional garbage cans or wheelie bins.
| 4 | 5 | |
1670007042 | 1670110394 | t3_zau3fi | t5_2to41 | 187 | Throwmeaway789870: TIFU by posting about my overbearing mum on AITA.
for more info please read my AITA post
so my mum found my post.
im really not surprised she looked through my phone again, but i forgot to delete my messages.
ive been banned from all my electronics excluding my chromebook for school purposes (thats how im posting this) and got screamed and shouted at for a solid 10 mins.
i paid for the phone and the bill.
i have talked to my mum, but she just flipped out on me.
im banned from my electronics for a few months, i cant go shopping or go out, she is now going to be checking my phoen EVERY DAY. no pocket money, no Christmas presents
i cant talk to my friends and shes going to home school me for a few weeks.
possibly the worst and most discusting part is that shes been looking at my messages to my gf, and she pretended to be me and broke up with her. i cant even talk to her or tell her about all the shit im going through rn.
shes blocked all my contacts and friends from social media, shes gotten rid of insta and tiktoc, everything.
i feel like crap, and just needed to vent, so thanks for reading.
TL ; DR:
mum punished my severely by posting about her on AITA
DrunkenOlympian: Home school you for a few weeks? Is that a thing? I figured there was paperwork and regulations to consider with home schooling, but I have no idea. Anyway hang in there.
Throwmeaway789870: no idea. may be some empty punishments to scare me
Elements18: Then call her bluff. Say if she pulls you from school, you call child services on her. Even if they do not remove you from her, that would not be a nice thing for her to have on her record of have the neighborhood talking about.
yargleisheretobargle: Threatening your parents isn't going to get you anywhere. It'll just antagonize them further. You can be smarter than that.
Elements18: How? What other recourse does a 14 year old dependent have? Just saying she has smarter options doesn't actually tell her what to do.
yargleisheretobargle: A 14 year old does not have the option to live independently of their parents' whims. They do have the option to not lose what they currently have through making empty threats. Don't pick battles that can't win you anything.
Elements18: If the situation is really as oppressive as it seems from the two posts, it may be better to get some other adults involved to decide if she might be better in a different home for her last years. This is abuse.
yargleisheretobargle: In that case, don't threaten; just do it and let the parents find out later. Literally nothing good comes out of *making the threat.*
Elements18: I suppose I felt it might be a good step to show that the daughter is serious about not being treated this way and give the mother a chance to back down and be civil. It would be good if this could be negotiated rather than immediately burning bridges. But yes, if nothing changes, just do it.
| 10 | 18.7 | |
1670008067 | 1670025052 | t3_zaujd3 | t5_2to41 | -6 | exquisitehappiness99: TIFU by dropping my phone on my toddlers head.
Every morning my 2 year old daughter wakes up at 7:00AM. My wife and I go in there and we give her her milk, we play with toys, read books, listen to music and just goof around. It's a great time for all of us! Well, this morning my wife had to leave early, so it was solo dad duty. The morning started out with a fire drill work call at 6:45AM, just before wakeup time for my daughter. I had to take the call, so I did. I was hoping it would be short, but it was not. So I had to continue the call while waking up my daughter. I was able to prepare the milk, heat it up, put it in a bottle, etc. and go upstairs and wake her up. I am on the phone trying to be professional and walk into my daughters room, it's pitch black and I have my cell phone on my shoulder. As I open the door, the phone slips off my shoulder - I try to catch it by throwing my hand forward...Of course, I hit the phone with my hand and it launches off into the pitch black room. I know it went in the direction of the bed and I could hear my daughter sitting up, but I couldn't see anything. It seemed like forever, but I eventually heard a clunk and then the phone hitting the mattress. There wasn't a verbal noise, so I assumed that it must have hit the wall and landed on the bed. NOTE - when my daughter is really upset, she tries to cry, but nothing comes out. Her face just turns more and more red for several seconds and then comes the big noise. Well, that was the case here. I turn on the light, and the phone was right in my daughters lap, her face is bright red with rage, and I can see a little bump on her forehead. That's when the shriek came too. The poor kid got hit in the forehead with a google pixel 6 as she was waking up!! Anyways, as toddlers do, she was fine after a hug and a few distractions, but I feel so bad for her. Waking up has been such a great experience for her for as long as I can remember and I hope this doesn't affect that. I guess I will see how it goes tomorrow...Oh, and I had forgotten that I was on the phone, so the people on the other end, who I was trying to appear professional to, heard about 1 minute of thuds, crying, and baby talk. They were extremely cool about it, but still - not very professional when your clients know you just hit your toddler in the head with a cell phone while on a business call with them.
TLDR - My phone slipped out of my hand as I was entering my toddlers room and as I tried to catch it I fumbled it directly into her head.
RudeSprinkles1240: 2 year olds are about 18 months too old for warm bottles of milk.
exquisitehappiness99: Lol - Had a feeling someone would go there when I was writing this.
Not sure what the issue is - she likes milk warm better than cold. It's not like we are pulling a game of thrones and breast feeding her at 12 years old..
Some people like their coffee hot, some like it cold.
RudeSprinkles1240: Some tell fictional stories on the internet and try to pass them off as truthful.
Hophop241: Wow you must be so fun at parties.
RudeSprinkles1240: 🤔🤨🤫
| 6 | -1 | |
1671952340 | 1672011957 | t3_zuszb3 | t5_2to41 | 67 | Oddballxx124: TIFU by falling for a scam and losing over $1k
TL,DR: Fell for a scam and cried about it.
Obligatory this wasn't today, but happened a few days ago.I was selling a used drawing tablet on a local website, when I got an inquiry for it. I had labelled the ad as "pick up only", and the potential buyer asked if they could use a courier service. Now, since this was the first time I was trying to sell something online, I wasn't aware of these scams, and said sure. I gave the person my email and I was sent an email with a link to the scam website. I looked up the company they were pretending to be, and saw it was an actual company, so I went along with it. I put in my details, and the website changed to look like my bank's website and asked for my access id and password. I assumed this was for me to prove I am who I am so the sale can happen and I can get my money.That was mistake one.Mistake two was repeatedly putting in my security code because the website asked me to. I then checked my bank balance to see if the money was deposited, and almost had a heart attack when I saw that all of my savings (what was left was roughly $6k) had been moved to my statement account, and I was missing almost $1.5k. I quickly called my bank and had my account frozen so they couldn't take any more of my money, and I now have to change everything in my account.I feel like an absolute dumbass for falling for this, but thankful I stopped the scammer from taking everything. I also feel extremely guilty because all the money I have and they stole was from a bank account my grandmother had made for me when I was born and was building up to give to me when I turned 18. My parents know and will help me sort out my account along with be with me when I call or go in to my local branch. It's not guaranteed that I'll get my money back, but this has been a valuable lesson to me about not blindly trusting some rando on the internet with the username Linda won't try to scam me out of everything I have.
Edit: Small update. Yesterday I called the bank for the 3rd time with my mum and stepdad with me to help find a solution and they had me do a virus/malware scan on my PC and had it have a factory reset to eliminate any potential problems the scan didn't detect. The lady on the phone also made a recall request, to see if I can have my money taken back from the people who took it. Today I went to the bank and had two new statement and savings accounts made and had the rest of the money I managed to save transferred into it, and once I get the response about the recall I can go back to the bank and have my former accounts closed completely.
Feellikedancing: Depending on where you live, banks will often give you back the money you lost to a scammer, especially if you follow up the loss with a police report. Worth enquiring about.
WilliamMinorsWords: No they won't. I've never heard of a bank that will do that. You lose the money, that's on you
DashRift: not entirely true
Agile-Bed7687: Yeah it is, where would the money come from? They would have to recover it because they aren’t going to comp you their own money. In the Case of a fraudulent charge the bank can recover from visa MasterCard etc through their insurance programs but a scam is not the same as fraud. When you give away access you give away your rights.
Noidremained: >they aren’t going to comp you their own money.
actually they will. I guess they believe that their reputation is more important than a small amount of money
Agile-Bed7687: Actually after working for 2 investment firms and 2 multinational banks and 1 credit union they won’t. Next time work in the industry before you speak
Duality26: In the US, EFTs initiated as a result of an account takeover are explicitly covered under Regulation E. The CFPB has published guidance and made it very clear these types of transactions are covered.
"4. Does an EFT initiated by a fraudster using stolen credentials meet the Regulation E definition of an unauthorized EFT?
Yes. As discussed in Electronic Fund Transfers Error Resolution: Unauthorized EFT Question 1, Regulation E defines an unauthorized EFT as a transfer from a consumer’s account initiated by a person other than the consumer without actual authority to initiate the transfer and from which the consumer receives no benefit. 12 CFR 1005.2(m)."
OP is in Austrailia so this is moot; however, if your experience in the financial industry is in the states, you are confidently incorrect.
However, other scams not involving an account takeover may not fall under the purview of Reg E, such as buying a gift card for the scammer; or, p2p transaction, which the CFPB will likely push consumer friendly guidance for in the next few years.
Source: I'm a certified regulatory compliance manager with 15 years banking experience.
| 8 | 8.375 | |
1671954228 | 1671981410 | t3_zutel0 | t5_2to41 | 1,214 | commonfruitsalad: TIFU by getting bit on the ass by a praying mantis.
Mandatory I'm on my phone if the formatting is dodgy. Sorry in advance.
Background- my Husband's mother lives in a *very* rustic weatherboard house with three rooms and an outdoor toilet. (Think Australian outback, farm and no housekeeping)
Husbands brother, his wife and their kids have flown in for the first time in 5 years (pandemmi and life changes) so we decided to all stay at MIL farm for a few days before Christmas and after.
So, last night was Christmas Eve,
We survived the big family dinner and all the kids were in bed for hours and the grown up had been in bed a while too. So I needed to pee, I don't like having to pee at night here- but multiple pregnancies and too much water means I gotta go.
I go out and iim using my phone for a light. I go past the chickens roosting on the bathroom shelves and shut the door locking the sheep out of the loo while I use it.
Holding my breath and trying to pee fast so I can go back to bed in hopes of sleep before all the kids woke up in their excitement.
We ALL know you check the loo, the loo paper and everywhere else before you sit- noone wants a spider or a snake up their ass in the middle of nowhere. Especially at 2 am on Christmas morning.
I swear I looked and didn't see anything.
I grabbed paper to wipe and dry and I'm wiping my tender bits when I feel a sharp sting.
Ohh shit what's wrong with this paper?
I hold up my phone to the paper to see a very cranky looking praying mantis hissing at me (who the fuck knew they hissed?)
I threw the asshole in the bin and booked it out of there as fast as my feet shoved in sneakers would take me while jumping over dogs, sheep and chickens.
It still stings as I go back to bed (a mattress on the floor with my youngest where I got but by a spider the day before)
And for all of Christmas morning and lunch I've had a stinging ass, with a massive lump and rash.
Don't be like me.
Double check your loo paper.
TLDR/ didn't check the loo paper in an outdoor Australia loo, got but on the ass by a praying mantis and had to jump farm animals to get back to bed and then sat through Christmas day with a swollen ass cheek.
bdmske: Can't believe you didn't check for the
~~Spider~~
~~Snake~~
~~Punchy Roo~~
~~Cassowary~~
~~Dropbear~~
~~Shark~~
~~Bullants~~
~~Wasps~~
~~Cane toads~~
~~Crocs~~
~~Box jellyfish~~
Praying Mantis
Kcnflman: Not the dreaded toilet shark!
WideBandBlast: X-Files Did it
Aedene: Still better than Supernatural
WideBandBlast: [Very Yes](https://i0.wp.com/bloody-disgusting.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/X-Files-the-Host.jpg?resize=740%2C563&ssl=1)
| 6 | 202.333333 | |
1670010097 | 1670039914 | t3_zavevx | t5_2to41 | 47 | CkreonN: TIFU by not taking neccessary precautions to safely store my bike
So I live in an apartment, last summer my mom bought me a trekking bike, drives excellently amazing, literally in love with it. Unfortunately, our flat is a bit cramped, so we couldn't store it inside. Best we could do was store it on the very top floor of the apartment where my grandpa and his brother lives with each other next doors.
Here's the thing, I had the U shaped lock, when I locked the bike with it it would take up half of the stair space, and my grandpa is a bit old we feared he might fall. So I had to get a wire lock. I was too lazy to get at least 3 wire locks and lock the tyres etc. to each other. I only got one, figured I'll get the others in the near future.
Fast forward to present, came from another city to see my family and take a break for one week from college, my mom broke it to me. I'm a bit sad, but mostly furious. We're a family where both my parents work, we try to get by with what little they earn and they try to manage our spendings so they can save a little bit for gifts like this and for our future. My mom bought me that bike with what little she could save. I'm against violence, but I'm so furious that if I saw those who stole my bike I literally could beat them to death with my bare hands, that's how I'm angry. Worst part is, due to inflation, that bike costs exactly twice the amount I bought it, so saving for a new one will suck.
TLDR: Mom bought a bike for me, I was too lazy to take neccessary precautions to safely store it, it got stolen, now I'm so furious that I feel like I'm Doom Slayer himself and could 1v1 sun.
captchairsoft: Victim blaming also applies to yourself. If you had any lock on it at all you did your part. Criminals are gonna be criminals don't beat yourself up over it, you seem like a very thoughtful person.
CkreonN: I try to be. I always enforce peace, mutual respect and empathy amongst people (or smypathy I always mix these words up). I feel better now, we have a saying in Turkish which roughly translates to "There's nothing that can be done to anything that has been done and over." So I'll just start saving for a new one.
harleyspoison267: I am with others on this sub that you should try renters insurance. My deductible is $500, but given that your bike sounds very nice, it probably is covered. And if not, make sure you keep payment info so it is covered next time. My insurance has a way i can add receipts and precious items to my "house" online so that if they go missing it's easy to claim. The joke is, we're broke and don't have receipts for any of our "nice" shit. I applaud your maturity and outlook, though.
Also, I suggest hanging it from the ceiling in your bedroom so you can keep an eye. I've been told it's not too hard to do, but I've never done it myself. My bike was stolen like a month after i brought it to my place from my parents. If you hang it properly, it shouldn't fall on anyone.
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1671955889 | 1671958496 | t3_zutsk1 | t5_2to41 | 126 | Kwesi_Hopkins: TIFU by accidentally insinuating that I wanted to bang my crush's mom at a Christmas Eve sleepover
I love reading this sub often, but I honestly never thought I'd be posting here myself
I'm an extremely lonely guy. I grew up as an orphan constantly moving through the foster care system and never had any friends throughout my childhood, whatsoever. I actually didn't speak to anyone outside of school related stuff, and even then not much at all. Seeing horrible things at a young age, constant abuse, severe mental illness, the whole 9 yards, yada yada. So, I have 0 social skills and am extremely awkward
I met this girl at work. Let's call her R (F20). It was my first job, and R was the first person to ever seek me out after work/school to ask about my personal life, as I usually keep to myself. We became friends, R gives me her number, and over time we've talked I've been opening up to her. Very important to the story, I almost never talked to R in person. It was almost always over text, as I am very bad at turning my thoughts into words quickly, as required for speech and such.
So a day before Christmas Eve, she asks me if I would like to come over for dinner with her family. At this point, she had asked me to get coffee or lunch with her sometime on a few occasions, but I had always been too nervous and decline. As someone who had never been to a family gathering, nor a friend's house as child, I was extremely nervous and hesitant at first. But, I was feeling bad for always being afraid and wanted to change for once, so I agreed after some consideration. R promises that her parents are cool
On the way there, she introduces me to her family. She has a younger brother, D (14), her mother, T, and her father M. A mutual co-worker of ours, C, was also invited to apparently make me more comfortable.
We have a great time, well at least they do. All the while I feel very isolated and out of place, but they all do their best to reassure me that I'm welcome, repeating phrases like "we're family" and "this is home"
R's parents are separated, but came together for the occasion. D likes videogames, and C is just that good looking guy that seems to be _really_ close R, though you can't say anything for sure.
The evening activities include listening to Christmas music, smoking weed (everyone except for D), me trying alcohol for the first time (M22), and of course dinner
As everything is winding down and people are getting ready to leave/head to bed, R asks me if I would like to stay the night since everyone was off the next day and had nothing to do. I say why not and she shows me to my room upstairs. She assures my that at any point in the night, I can knock on her door or text her and she would take me home. Once I get to the room, the hidden childlike excitement that I unfortunately never got to experience sprang forth. I began to think about the nagging feeling that was at the back of my mind: How much I had actually missed out on in my childhood. I started thinking about the sleepovers in movies, so I go back down to D and ask him if he wants to play some videogames together. Unfortunately he only has 1 controller so I move on
This is where the FU starts. I begin to think even more about what I missed out on, what I didn't but should have had. I remember back to earlier when they kept calling me "part of the family".
I move to T's room, knocking on the partly opened door before entering. In that moment, I still can't quite explain exactly what I was feeling, but it wasn't anything remotely close to what was communicated. I could go on and on about what I wanted to say, but I realize now that it wasn't much better
I go in and ask her if she would mind if "I came in to hang out....". I pause because I realize she's in the middle of something on Netflix, so I added "later on", which probably made it worse. She gives me this weird look, and suddenly snaps, "as a matter of fact, I would!"
The closest and simplest thing I can use to explain what I meant to say, was "please be my mommy", but obviously I couldn't just say that straight up, so my poor communication skills and my nerves teamed up and came up with something worse. I guess I wanted a close moment with a mother figure I never had and it came out in the worst way possible. I think maybe the substances I consumed earlier helped not keep my mouth shut and bury my feelings like usual, but who knows?
Anyways, I leave feeling disappointed and a bit confused, and head back up to my room. I see T leave her room behind me and quickly start whispering to R. Signal 2 that something wasn't right, but I choose to ignore it and try to sleep. I feel really weird about it and my stomach starts hurting, so I text R and tell her I would like to go home. After a long while of not seeing anyone, C comes up to tell me "the family has plans in the morning", so I couldn't stay and had to leave immediately. R had just told me the opposite, so that was flag 3, but I didn't notice right away because I wanted to leave anyways. (I really didn't, but I have way too much anxiety about using other people restrooms, and was already up to my neck being in someone else's house, so I went over the edge quick).
During the car ride home everyone is quiet and T is nowhere to be seen. Then it all clicks. No. No way that just happened. I have a mental breakdown and quickly start dissociating hard. I'm still having trouble processing what all of this means as I type this.
I tried so, so hard to avoid my crush outside of structured environments to prevent embarrassing myself in front of her. I didn't realize that I was at the time, but I do now. Deep down I knew something bad would happen, because it always does, and I really didn't want my first friend ever R to experience anything bad at my fault. She's way too nice and caring and considerate to deserve that
I'm still currently freaking out because I may have just destroyed the first and probably only relationship that I ever had a chance to have. I never, ever let myself get vulnerable for any reason, but I took a leap of faith because R is so good to me and may have given me hope that I could do so without being hurt, or hurting others myself for that matter
As silly as it sounds, this relationship was my trump card in my "reasons to live" deck. I won't go down that road, but let's just say it's not the kind of deck you want to be drawing from
I can't believe the _1_ thing I actually had hope for in my life may have been thrown away so suddenly due to the fuckup I am and always will be
TL;DR
Mentally ill Man-child tricks himself into believing he is a child again, and asks his friend's mom if they could "hang out later" during a sleepover
Also, I apparently have been misunderstanding the definition of "crush". I don't like R in "that" way, I just really like her
Ptricky17: This is gonna be scary as hell for you, so take time to think it over. You have to *DEAL WITH THIS*. The worst thing you can do is try to hide from it.
It was an honest mistake, in a tense situation, with mind altering substances involved. Tell (R) what happened as far as how you were feeling:
(being welcomed into a family unlike anything you experienced growing up, and explain that you just wanted to talk to her mom because you never had a proper parental figure that you could trust growing up. Blame the weed and alcohol a little bit. Honestly it probably did factor in.)
If (R) is as welcoming and open as you describe, she will understand. Just DO NOT add anything more to the pot right now and don’t act impulsively. Don’t open up about crushing on her, just clear up this misunderstanding first and then give her a little time to process.
Equally important, DO NOT hang your self esteem and your feelings of happiness, on your friendship/relationship with this girl. If you want her to be your friend, be a good friend to her. Being a good friend means not putting the other person on a pedestal. She’s a human. She makes mistakes too. She’s still probably going to need space after you explain though, and getting in your own head trying to anticipate how she’s feeling, or trying to pry for more information, will only make things worse.
Tell the truth - take your time typing it out. Don’t send it until you are in a calm state of mind and are happy with the wording. Then wait patiently and let her make the next move.
Hope it works out for you.
Shoe_mocker: Excellent advice
| 3 | 42 | |
1670010875 | 1670139044 | t3_zavqc9 | t5_2to41 | 10 | fnordx2: Tifu by using lube
Tifu
I've used this exact lube many times, liquid silk, it's always been the best in my eyes ever since a past lover showed it to me.
It has been a few years since i have experienced it though, bought a new bottle to play with my new partner, and thought i would try it out solo, everything was fine while i was playing with it, however my foreskin is now swollen, i think its some kind of contact irritation.
I've washed it with every kind of Lush° product I own but it's been nearly 18 hours and no change.
I'm going to stay with my partner in a week, Activate anxiety.exe I hope the swelling goes down soon
This is probably not the place to get advice but I've googled it many times and taken some antihistamines, but if anyone has had some experience in this kind fuck up and would like to share I'd like to hear it
TL;DR
I used a lube and now my foreskin is swollen and I'm anxious
Devittraisedto2: Idk why you just don't go have yourself checked at a doctor
fnordx2: Probably gonna tomorrow if it doesn't go away
incognitolandshark: It’s your dick dude! Fucking see a doctor today!
Didisaythatoutloud72: Yep, you only get one of those things given to you…take care of it!
| 5 | 2 | |
1670010589 | 1670093181 | t3_zavlys | t5_2to41 | 50 | coronad0: TIFU Had to do a stool sample for the Drs
TL;DR: Have never done one. The mess and mistakes are below. It was a horror show. TW: POOP.
I don't know where to tell this story but here. Yesterday at the Drs for my annual physical, I start to tell him about my stomach issues and that it has IBS like qualities, but probably isn't that, and right away he goes "WE NEED TO DO A STOOL KIT" and I'm cringing, but like .. yeah, sure ok, whatever. Never done one but I'd like to know what's going on here. How hard can this be?
So I stop by the lab, and tell them I need a stool kit, and there's like maybe 10-12 people in the lab waiting room, and they direct me to the phlebotomist/lab door. This is the same place I think a lot of places use for urinalysis tests for work, so I'm standing in the doorway to the phlebotomists and go "I NEED A POOP KIT!" and she hands me this bag with like, 4 vials in it, 3 smallish ones and one small cup sized one. I go "Ahhh, how do I ..?" and she says "Oh yeah, these little ones have like a tiny scoop spoon in there, so what you do is do your bizness in this first so its dry .." and she hands me what I assume is like an upside down tiny childs plastic cowboy hat with "wings" to hold onto the toilet seat. I'm like, whatever, will do this tomorrow.
Fast forward to this morning, I gotta do my test, they need the poop back by 1200 or I have to freeze it, so I get in our bathroom and double lock the door. I start the fan and put the gloves on they gave me, get the 3 little vials out on the counter and notice there is no spoon thing for the larger cup and I remember she said get a popsicle stick for that. So, I find one in the kitchen, and I'm like, "Hahaha, its the poop stick from the internet", but now its real, its here, in my hand ready to do its terrible little job. I get the vials all laid out on the bathroom sink, awaiting their hellish treasure.
I stare at the tiny plastic poop seat catcher for a good 3 minutes thinking "There is no fucking way this is going to work ... its sooo god damn small". To prepare in the bathroom, I start the shower, knowing if anything goes wrong I have to immediately hop in. I gently place the poop catcher hat down on the toilet, get fully nekkid as I'm sure mess bomb is about to happen and I sit. My body can tell something isn't right .. something is wrong with how we're sitting, everything. The poop hat catcher feels like its inches away from my bunghole. Not enough room. I just know something bad is about to happen. I can start to feel it, I want this over so badly, I'm already visualizing the poop stick breaking and falling on the counter or floor. The plastic of the poop hat is pushing against my cheeks and it feels wrong, its not supposed to be there.
My body refuses, it knows this is too weird, it doesn't want to work. So I bear down, trying to get it done faster. There's tension where there shouldn't be any. Like the edge of a thunderstorm has gathered in here, it knows it has to strike, but its afraid of the damage to the towns folk awaiting their doom ... so it waits. I tighten my stomach muscles against their will. My knees are up from the squatty potty, my thighs are tight, why are my thighs tight, there is no way out if this happens right now. I have no escape plan.
I release. The sheer force and pressure are too fast for a normal human to react, I can tell the plastic poo hat catcher is too small, I start to rise as its happening, legs trying to push me up, but its all so damn fast. The room is spinning, I'm just trying to get up as fast as I can. I think I'm in the clear but can't tell, like the seconds after a car crash and you're trying to figure out what happened. I slowly stand up and then it hits, the thing I knew was coming, but not prepared for. The smell. The god damn sulfur from the bowels of hell smell. I look down and the poop hat catcher is near the brim full, like a sick dinosaur had a waffle house for breakfast and of all the places in the jungle, came in here.
I stand and remove the poop hat catcher and put it on the floor in front of me, it reeks of every mistake I've made in the last decade. I turn on the bidet and it doesn't feel right, that normal clean feeling after a few seconds isn't there. I stand and try to wipe. What didn't make it into the poop hat catcher has made it onto my ass. Just a smush of illegal decadence everywhere. I wipe and its on the glove, I wipe and its all over the place. I still need to get the shit into the vials, wtf do I do now ... I step over the poop hat catcher, wash my hands WITH the gloves on and get to work.
I start with the small vials, the spork like spoon inside is the size of a tiny baby's fingernail. You have to fill the vial up to a certain level. I attempt to scoop and it just falls off, nothing in here is solid. I spool the spoon around and think I get enough. The level in the vial raises maybe 2 mm. I scoop again and again and finally get it done. You have to then shake the vial a few times, the smell is breaking my concentration. I have to do this 2 more times and then the larger one. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and all I see is a disgusting broken shit factory.
I work through it, get them all done, scared I've gotten poop flakes on the outside. Someone has to handle this. Someone has to test this. Someone gets to tell their workmate they handled black lava from the underworld and gag for real. Someone is going to vomit in their lap. What have I done. I get the 3 small vials done and in the sample bag and commit another mistake: I take the gloves off thinking I'm done.
I grab the popscicle stick, ready for my last test of will with the smaller cup. There are 2 other gloves in the kit, I grab one and hurriedly put it on and ... it tears. It rips right off my hand as I'm pulling it on. I get the other glove and put it on super carefully. I'm safe. I take the popsicle stick and smursh it into the poop hat and try to grab what I can, and now, its sticking like a huge hairball. Its too much, I can't get it in without smushing the sides, I place it in and grab another rancid mess ball of filth. I'm not sure how much to put in this one, but I almost fill it, this can't be the right amount, this is too much, but its done, I put the yellow lid on and turn it as tight as I can, nervous the smell will leak out. Its this small cup that needs to be there asap or they have to freeze it. I put it in the sample bag and crush the ziploc lock as tight as I can.
I look back at the poop hat. Its still almost half full. What do I do now? Its too sticky to put down the toilet without getting my hands dirty. I'm not going to scoop it with my glove hand into the toilet, so I chicken out. I get in the shower while its still running and grab the shower head and try to rise what I can down the drain. The steam and smell combine to create a multiplied concentrated odor of putrid hate. I'm cleaning out the poop hat, but now there's shit all over the shower floor. Its barely going down the drain, and the brown mix of water and poo is rising. I turn the heat up thinking I'll melt it faster, but the smell increases. Its barely breaking apart and going down. I crouch over the shower basin contemplating my life choices and all I see is darkness.
A good 10 mins go by and by now its all down. I shower and extra triple wash my ass. I get the vials to the Drs and as I drop off the bag I look at the receptionist and know she sees the fear in my eyes. She motions to a basket on the counter and says to put it in there. This poor innocent basket. She asks if that's all and I look down and to the side "Yeah, and I'm .. I'm sorry for the ..." (general motion to everything all at once making sure somehow my hand waving includes me).
I know this is routine stuff for those of you in this field, but oh dear sweet baby Jesus, I hope this was the last time. Ever.
cactiisnice: You're a legend. I work as the person explaining, reciving and testing the poop and all I can say is AT LEAST YOU SEEM TO HAVE FILLED THE VIALS CORRECTLY (you have no clue how many who deliver them with more shit on the outside than inside). You did great
Hope you never have to do it again cus lets be real... It's shit💩
harleyspoison267: Can you confirm for us though, is it normal for OP to be asked to do all this? In my experience, though it was years ago, the "poop hat" as OP called it so eloquently, comes with a lid, you screw that on, deliver it to Doc, THE END. Why is a person outside of a lab doing all of this?? Of course it was a disaster!!
cactiisnice: Yes, completly normal. I found 4 vials to be alot (id say 2 are more common), but it seems like the doctor wants to test alot of things and then alot of poop is needed. Not all of the tests are necessarly proceedures we do at the office either so we need to send them on and that accuire we send a complete vial.
Edit- worth to add is that when more vials are included they usually want samples from different stools on different days
harleyspoison267: Huh. Okay, good to know. This just definitely seemed like the kind of thing that was going to get gross, quick, no matter how well OP handled it.
cactiisnice: It is! Idk why there aren't better options. We usually dont even give the cups to shit in, we recommend just lining over the toilet with plastic wrapper so it can drop down a few inches, you can scoop up what you need and drop the rest in the toilet and dispose of the plastic
harleyspoison267: Oh that is sooo much worse. What if you have diarrhea?? Bleh.
cactiisnice: Idk, there's no good way to scoop poop😂😂😂
harleyspoison267: If it runs down the plastic, the side of my toilet, onto that little bit of floor next to and behind the toilet that's hard to reach, that is definitely worse in my book 🤣 I'm sorry you have to deal with that all day! I work with kids so they can be gross, but at least it's not usually that!
| 9 | 5.555556 | |
1670009174 | 1670017233 | t3_zav0pj | t5_2to41 | 22 | zorggalacticus: tifu by cooking fried chicken while sleepy
Don't think I've told this story here before, so here goes nothing. I came home late from work, tired and hungry, and decided to fry some chicken for dinner. I got the oil heated up, battered the chicken, and dropped it into the skillet. Then I sat down for a minute til it was time to flip it over, salivating as I anticipated the crispy salty goodness that I would soon feast upon. Except I made the near fatal mistake of sitting in my recliner. (ReaI smart right) I dozed off, as one does in a recliner, and woke up to the smell of smoke. The skillet was on fire. I grabbed it and ran through the house, much faster than should have been possible considering my fitness level, carrying that flaming skillet like the Olympic torch, and chucked it into the front yard. Now the curtains were also on fire, so I yanked those off and threw those into the front yard as well. Ruined the wallpaper. (It was ugly anyway) Just so happened we were going through a dry spell, and the grass was especially flammable. The house was a rental, and didn't have a water hose hookup, so I grabbed a bucket. I filled it with water, lugged it outside, and threw it on the fire. That just made the flaming grease splatter out even further. Now the whole front yard was on fire, and I'm sweating like a hog in a sausage factory. There's a crowd gathered by this point. Hooray for spectators. I grabbed the rake and started to rake some dirt on it. Finally got that put out, and there's not much grass left. Also, I'm fairly certain I have died at least once in the process of all this. I swear I heard angels singing. I go inside, exhausted, and evidently some grease spilled because now the carpet was on fire. Of course it is, because why not?Stomped that out. Then I hear sirens. The fire department showed up along with a couple of nice police officers. It's 9 pm. I still haven't eaten. I'm tired, hungry, sweaty, covered in soot, and now I've got to talk to these nice officers and firemen and try to convince them that everything is under control. At least I think it is anyway. And wouldn't you know it, my landlord showed up as well. Yay. Long story short, I had to promise to replace the ugly wallpaper, the carpet, and re-seed the front lawn in order to not add becoming homeless to the list of things going wrong today. The police, firemen, and the landlord left, and I finally got a big mac at the drive through about 12:30 am (it was delicious by the way) and I had to be back at work at 5 am. Guess who's calling in? Not me because I need the money. I was still craving fried chicken too. I fried some the next day in my brand new skillet, and made sure to go nowhere near that stupid recliner while I waited for it to cook.
TL;DR tried to cook fried chicken while sleepy. Nearly burned the house down. Recliners are evil.
Swedenesebishhh69: you dont use that big mass in your skull huh?? your brain lmao
zorggalacticus: Nah, it was after a 16 hour shift. It's dangerous to sit down when you're that tired.
Swedenesebishhh69: omg ive worked those and i definitely understand
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1671193002 | 1671243710 | t3_zndbku | t5_2to41 | 28,488 | justAnotherLedditor: TIFU by accidentally buying two Google Pixels and ended up getting my 15 year old Google Account permanently banned.
So early Black Friday sales happened last month and I picked up a Google Pixel 7 since my previous phone was nearing 6 years old and starting to die every few hours.
Due to some funky error, whether I accidentally put two phones in the cart, I don't know or remember. I ended up getting double charged and realized I got shipped two phones.
I contacted Google Support to start a return for a refund on one of them, and the first support person was great... up until the next dozen support staff throughout this stupid journey.
Turns out that the package I shipped back to them never made it back. I spoke with support and I got the most generic responses ever from a person that doesn't speak English (once they stopped making generic replies, it was quite evident).
They escalated the problem to a supervisor. The supervisor told me that they would do an investigation, would take about a week.
Beginning of this week, investigation ended. They say the package was indeed most likely lost but the representative I spoke to said I could just chargeback with my credit card. So I did.
Today, my Google account was banned. 15 years of history gone.
I went on the support chat for the umpteenth time and they told me because I did a chargeback, the rules are that my account will be banned. I asked why they suggest for me to do a chargeback, when they could have just refunded themselves, and they said the support I spoke to should never have suggested it but rules are rules.
Been trying to fight this but looks like Google support is utter trash. After looking online, it seems like this is their most stupidest policy, and it exists across most other platforms too.
What a shitshow.
TLDR: Bought two phones by accident, returned one of them, package was lost and a representative told me to do a chargeback if I wanted my money back. Did that, Google account got banned. I asked very politely to get it unbanned because it was their advice to do that, they told me to go pound sand.
CrashnServers: Tracking numbers are pretty important. Chargebacks are pretty end of solution. Had a friend charge back a game. They closed his 10 year account along with every game he purchased.
graveyardspin: EA did that to my friend. His account got hacked and when he finally got back in there were like 20 copies of Fifa purchased with his card and gifted to accounts in Russia. He tried to get his money back through customer support because it was obviously fraud but they just told him since the games were gifted there wasn't anything they could do. So he did a charge back and they closed his account.
handlebartender: By charge back, do you mean he contacted his CC company and told them those were fraudulent charges at which point the CC company steps in to handle them through the fraud department?
Or was it simply contacting the CC company to initiate a charge back?
graveyardspin: Not sure. This was almost 10 years ago but his experience is why I don't keep any of my payment info on file with online stores anymore.
msnmck: The first thing I did when I opened my Steam account was link a virtual credit card so I wouldn't have to rely on Valve's competence in keeping my account secure.
Needless to say I was temporarily banned three times before giving up on that hope.
GEOas5: Are virtual credit cards against steam's rules?
msnmck: I believe it was because I was using a service called Entropay based out of Europe while I am in America, though no other company gave me issues with it.
handlebartender: Fwiw I'm a fan of [privacy.com](https://privacy.com)'s virtual credit cards. Technically more like virtual debit cards since you don't get to enjoy a line of credit.
Even so. Started using them almost 2 years ago. Huge peace of mind, insulating me against the brainless incompetence of mindless corporations.
They're not the only game in town; I just learned of another such service (I need to go back and rewatch that video).
carpechickendinner: Hands down the best service I've ever found. Use it to pay bills/insurances and other things especially great for services/things that make it a pain in the ass to cancel. Just pause/close the card and its no longer a problem :D Also super great for holidays cuz you can make a "gift card" and send the info to someone with a limit on it already for them to enjoy :D
handlebartender: Oh, I hadn't considered the gift card angle. Nice!
carpechickendinner: Yup, just have them put what ever name they want in the "name on card" section. it'll accept "Poopy McPoopface" as a valid name! And it's all 100% legal. Just name the cards "Anons gift card" or something with a set limit, so u know which charge is what so u dont freak out! Even their free tier is great. I pay 10$ monthly and get cash back out of it, but as many cards as I can just about want or need, and making new ones doesn't effect your old ones free or paid.
On2you: The downside is that if they buy something illegal with it, now it’s directly linked to your bank account and looks like you purchased whatever.
carpechickendinner: If you pay $10 a month, you can have all bank transactions listed as one of these: (And still see exactly where the card was used via the privacy website, and this is by no means condoning illegal activity as privacy has declared they will respond and work with any law enforcement agency as needed)
Privacy . com
H&H Hardware
Smileys Corner Store
NSA Gift Shop
You get 1% cash back and more cards a month (again, any cards you create do not expire/go away unless you close/delete them its just a limit per month new ones you can create, and any refunds still go through even if the card is closed/paused.)
Also each card can ONLY be used one ONE website, meaning if u use a card on amazon, u cant use it at best buy, you have to make a new one for best buy. Another reason they're so good, even if one is stolen it cant be used anywhere but that one website.
I am not affiliated nor sponsored/paid by the company, just love it that much lol.
On2you: Yeah that’s my point. It’s the same dilemma as running an open Wifi access point. At some point someone could do something illegal with it, rain down some warrants and legal pain on you, and out the burden of proof on you to prove that it wasn’t you doing those activities.
| 15 | 1,899.2 | |
1671965808 | 1672009318 | t3_zuvzu7 | t5_2to41 | 8,238 | TsukiiAi: TIFU by deleteing a voicemail from my deceased aunt who was wishing me a Merry Christmas, when I thought I was recording it
It happened yesterday, and I'm still crying on and off about it.
So my aunt, who was like a second mom to me, passed away two years ago. For the past 4 years I've kept this voicemail she left me wishing me a Merry Christmas (even though she knew I was coming over that day when she called and left it).
Yesterday I remembered I had a screen recording tool on my phone (Android) that I had planned on using to record the maybe 10 voicemails I had from her. Well I started it up, called my voicemail, and began recording. Keep in mind this voicemail is the first, oldest, longest, and my most favorite one from her.
For some reason when the voicemail stopped playing, without even letting my brain catch up in the thought process of if the recording worked or not, I hit 7 which deleted it. My heart instantly dropped. Wtf had I just done. Of course I went straight to the recording to see if it had recorded it, and as is obvious by now, it didn't. Queue me going mad crazy through my voicemail prompt options, phone apps for a folder, and researching how to recover a deleted voicemail.
The biggest issue is my voicemail app doesn't have a drop down menu of any sort. For some reason it only gives me the option to call my voicemail when I open it.
After a lot of crying and waiting for them to open, I called my provider to see if there was anything that could be done. Bless the girl, I'm gonna call her Grace because I sadly can't remember her name, that tried helping me because she was going through everything she could think of and was trying to find a way. She even got Samsumg tech support on the line with us.
After a lot of talking and team viewing there was nothing that could be done, and there were no answers as to why my voicemail is the way it is.
Grace said she could help me try and get my voicemail updated to show the proper promts, but highly was against it because she couldn't guarantee that I would have my other saved voicemails still on there if we did. So we both agreed on not doing that until I get a friend to help me record the rest of the voicemails I have.
Grace, which I know isn't your name, if you see this. I just want you to know you were so kind and I could tell you really tried your best to help me and I am truly grateful for it. I appreciate everything you did for me.
TL;DR You can't use a screen recording tool on voicemails like I thought. I accidently deleted my deceased aunt's voicemail telling me Merry Christmas that I tried recording. Not even my carrier or Samsung tech support could help me get it back. I'll never hear my aunt say Merry Christmas to me ever again....
ambian_Zombie: Im a forensic examiner who works on cell phones. Depending on the type of encryption on the device (file base encryption vs full disk encryption) and other factors, the file may be recoverable. If you want, you can Message me and I’ll see what can be done.
XPGamingYT: this probably is just standard voicemail over a call and not actual visual voicemail like on iphones and stuff (since OP says the voicemail app just has a button that lets you call voicemail), so there wouldn't be anything to recover unless you got access to the carrier's voicemail servers
TsukiiAi: When I called my carrier they said they didn't even see any pending voicemail deletions on my account 😔
ambian_Zombie: What is voicemail app you are using? Also, what is the model of your phone?
TsukiiAi: It's just called Voicemail on my phone, and I have a S22
ambian_Zombie: Is the app linked to a specific carrier (AT&T, Verizon, etc)?
TsukiiAi: The voicemail app is just the generic one that came installed on my phone, but Idk how many phone's ago specifically since I do the smart transfer and don't change my phone often at all. The app says it's up to date but it doesn't have the things it's suppose to have (like the three dotted drop down menu). And I'd rather not uninstall and reinstall it until I can get the other voicemails I have recorded and saved
ambian_Zombie: Ok. Thanks. I’ll take a look on my end to see what is possible. I wouldn’t get your hopes up, but you never know what’s stored in cache space.
TsukiiAi: Right, I appreciate it 💙
ambian_Zombie: Took a look to see what is possible. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be much I could do.
Sometime, when you access an image, a video, or audio on your device (rather it be local on the phone or on the Internet), that information could be cached (stored information used by an app for later use) that contains the information your looking for.
I was hoping the same thing could have happened here. However, since it seems the message was never stored on the device itself, there is nothing to cache. It's the same things as having a conversation with someone on the phone. Nothing about that conversation is stored, thus nothing is ever cached.
I do have access for forensic hardware and software that can access the filesystem of a device. But even if we went with that route (meaning I would need access to the actual phone), I do not believe we would be able to retrieve it. At most, we would retrieve information about that voicemail.
Now with all things forensics, the two most dangerous words you can use is "always" and "never". I can't say "you will defiantly not get anything". But my opinion as a forensic examiner is that the voicemail is likely lost.
I am sorry for your loss.
TsukiiAi: It's alright, I'm grateful that I still have the few other voicemails from her still at least 💙
Thank you for deep diving and seeing if there was any way to retrieve it. I really do appreciate it 💙
| 12 | 686.5 | |
1670013394 | 1670163524 | t3_zawvfx | t5_2to41 | 468 | blondemama712: TIFU by over-tipping
Today I made an online purchase from a small business I really love. I purchase things any time I am able but I'm a SAH mom currently so money is tight with inflation right now.
While I am planning on getting a new job in the next week or so, unfortunately I don't have one yet so I still need to be careful with what I'm spending. As it is I probably shouldn't have even purchased this but apparently I have self control issues over pretty shiny things.
The total came to $43.50, including shipping, and it was invoiced through PayPal. Somehow $43.50 ended up accidentally added into the tip category as well (I'm still not sure how it happened TBH, but I can probably guarantee it was user error) so I sent $87 without realizing it right away.
Unfortunately I can't afford as much as $87 right now. If I could I would have just said "Whoops", shrugged, and kept going with my life. Instead I had to message and ask for a partial refund (although I did leave enough for a tip still, just not a $43.50 one).
I feel absolutely awful. Not only did they have to take extra time out of their day to fix my screw up, but they also probably got really excited at such an awesome tip to then be utterly disappointed 😭
TLDR: Tipped a small business the same amount as the invoice total and had to ask for part of the tip back.
GPGeneral: I think you just made a simple mistake and the business should understand that. If you go there often you're probably a good customer and give them a lot of business anyway!
blondemama712: The business dealt with it incredibly quickly and professionally, I was honestly really impressed!
I just know that if I had gotten a tip like that I would have been so excited. It makes me sad that they went from that to, likely, pretty bummed out.
Tomatillo_Street: As a former waitress, people make this mistake on their recites all the time . Im sure they understood it was a type o and since they fixed it quickly i assure you it probably happens all the time and they're probably just happy that they got any tip at all!!
Dont sweat it ! Your still a good person for supporting local business and even bothering to tip!!!
TwoManyHorn2: A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.
"Do you know your blood type?" the nurse asks them.
"I think I might be a type O," the rabbit says.
Tomatillo_Street: Lmao
| 6 | 78 | |
1671935041 | 1671981861 | t3_zuokgz | t5_2to41 | 5 | KurosanLOVE: TIFU by saying something, without even thinking, in front of my bestest friends
It was early morning on Christmas day, around past midnight, I was just chatting with some of my only friends on my phone, like I would every other night. Except this time I said something dumb and I lost most if not all of them...
These friends of mine weren't just any friends—they were my best friends, they were talented and I loved them all a lot. One of them did game development but they've been being harassed by so many people (since before I even met them), having been send stuff like death- or doxxing-threats.
And I really want to protect them, which everyone likely understood. Then I had an idea which involved doxxing those doxxers.
The moment I said this I pretty much had no way back.
One threatened to block me if I ever did that, and another asked me, "what the f are you thinking". Like I'm only some naïve 15 year-old who doesn't know jack shit about the Internet. I know it's a bad thing but being super honest, I didn't know mentioning it was either but I learned that the hard way.
I started talking to one of them through DMs. I've started to feel paranoid. I need to ignore things like this, they tell me. And I tell them that I can't. I can't let people get away after nearly getting my friends in deep trouble for so many times. I just can't.
They told me to think peacefully. Again, something I can't do. I can't let an attempted murderer get away after deeply hurting my friends. I'd rather go after them so my friends'll be safe.
Then this person's sibling tells me they know everything and want me to explain, and so I do. I tell them both that bandaging wounds won't get rid of what's causing the wounds. I just have a strange virtue and I know that.
Then I started to lose friends. One of them—the game developer I mentioned before—blocked me. And my other friend told me that. I wasn't shocked, nor surprised, it only started to hurt when things got more intense. My heart was beating fast, I felt my blankets become hot from my own rising body heat.
I started to become very paranoid at this point; I even said at some point that I didn't care if my friends blocked me... that seeing them safe would be fine for me.
I set my phone down, I tried to calm down without any success. My heart kept beating at the same speed. When I looked at my phone again a few minutes later I see them apologize for deciding that I needed to be banned from their server (a private one, just full of friends). Again I wasn't very shocked. I realize that more of them start to block me. And I just lay down there, in the darkness, in utter disbelief.
I end up falling asleep, and I wake up later in the morning; I see that everything that happened last night was no joke. I just stayed in bed for a while, thinking things a kid my age shouldn't.
I was and still am, as of writing this, extremely paranoid. I was talking with someone, and they told me they were angry, and saying that they were shocked when I told them I didn't know the consequences of just saying the word. I finally convinced them to block me for my own good.
With a lot of them having blocked communication with me at this point, all I did was lie and bed and think about everything. I ask to myself, "why do they tell me to forgive, and end up not forgiving me". "Why do they tell me to not say this kinda, shit, but don't say anything to those harassers". "Why did one dumb mistake cause my life to seem to fall down". I tried blame myself, and then other people... I don't want to be pathetic or be an asshole so I'm just still thinking about that. You can tell me what you think in the replies—tell me however you feel, I won't bite.
But yeah, to wrap it up, I wanna say... it just feels like my life fell all the way down into the Mariana Trench. I genuinely don't know how I'll live like this.
And it all happened on Christmas day, within the span of only a few hours (according to my sense of time). Please, if you're reading this, try not to screw up the way I did... and I wish you all a nice Christmas.
TL;DR: my friend has been getting doxxing threats and I accidentally said I wanted to doxx these doxxers, ending up with them and their friends lashing out on me me, blocking/banning me, and just leaving me isolated in general. And I don't know what to do after having lost their trust.
ExternalGrade: What to do? Find new friends. Those friends are illogical and unreasonable. Not your fault.
Squigglepig52: They really aren't. OP seriously over reacted, and then kept doubling down on it.
They don't want or need some loose cannon escalating their situation.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1670388337 | 1670449936 | t3_zesa94 | t5_2to41 | 151 | Future_Magic1: TIFU by getting to frisky with my cousin at Thanksgiving
Obligatory this happened about a few weeks ago but I have to get this off my chest. At Thanksgiving this year, I had sex with my cousin.
It all happened so fast. We'd been flirting and teasing each other since the summer and it was hard to resist the temptation, which was stupid in hindsight. We got really carried away one evening while everyone else was watching football and before we knew it, it had happened.
Needless to say, it wasn't the smartest thing I've ever done and I'm still trying to figure out what to do next. It's complicated because our families are so close and it could create a lot of drama if anyone found out.
So for now, all I can do is keep what happened between us a secret and try to move on. But I also want to acknowledge that what I did was wrong and I regret it.
Tldr: I got too intimate with my cousin on Thanksgiving.
DannkHippo: Hope you wore a condom, at least..
JustSomeUsername99: We don't know what genders they are. Could have both been girls...
murtygurty2661: You're dead right we really shouldn't assume anything about cousin fuckers that would be super out of order and backward
/S
It's an innocuous comment about using protection during sex that really should apply to any two people having sex.
SinisterYear: What types of protection do lesbians use?
KalessinDB: Dental dams, sometimes.
eyegazer444: Beaver dams
| 7 | 21.571429 | |
1670024136 | 1670076486 | t3_zb1ngq | t5_2to41 | 1,399 | xXFuriousCatArmy98Xx: Tifu by acidently showing p*rn in class
I am a grade 11 student and since I started high school, I've been screwing up, and every year something major occurs where it becomes worthy of a book, but this year...... it was the worst of em all, and it came in early too.
a little background on my math teacher just so you can understand how bad this TIFU really is. She graduated from teachers college in 2020 (what a year to graduate) and so this is her 2 year being a full time teacher. That women is miserable, I feel bad for her sometimes because of the stories of how her college years went and her weird family and stuff, trust me, they are not very good stories. So I try to be friendly with her to make her job easier and maybe have a better day, since I helped her a lot she really did have some kind of trust towards me even with her trust issues....... (now you can see how bad I freaked up)
So today I came in math class, greeted my teacher and sat down as usual, she say that the quiz we were suppose to have today was postpone until Monday, and that this was a work period. Then a student proposed for us to watch the Portugal game in class, she agreed to it but didn't know where to watch it, she plugged her computer to the projector and asked if anyone knows where we could watch it, I raised my hand and said I knew a website.
Now heres the thing, I pirate everything, so ofc the website was a pirate website, but since I use add block for as long as I can remember it didn't came to my head that it could have porn adds on the website.
So then my dumass goes up to the computer, types the website in and the first thing that pops up is this lady with half of her ass showing, twerking like there was no tomorrow for the whole class to admire and look at. I tried closing the website but I couldn't out of pure panic, the teacher stepped in closed the site, told me to sit down while the class was in pure shock.
"My day was already going bad and now you made it 10x worst, I lost all my trust in you."
at least the class was making more fun of me then actually hating me, which for me is a big win. I hate when people hate me.
I apologized the whole period but still feel guilty. Will give her a chocolate on Monday.
EDIT: guys, she did understand everything eventualy, and like a said, some students were defending me. Also she doesnt share that many stuff about her personal life, she more jokes around about how she suffered in college, but she still tries her best to teach that absolute nightmare of a class lol
TL;DR:
put a pirate website on the projector to watch the fifa game, forgot teacher don't use addblock, big ass twerking on screen for the whole class to look at. made my teachers day worst then it already was.
iWrestle_Donkeys: Meh, at least it was just an ad and not full on porn website. That can be brushed off pretty easily as a mistake. If you use ad-blocker you'd never even see those ads so how would you know.
xXFuriousCatArmy98Xx: makes sence, still lost teachers trust and my rep that was already bad is worst now
beetleswing: Ok but honestly your teacher reacted poorly, she should have known it was a mistake. Also, why is she telling you such intimate details about how terrible her life is?! *She's a teacher*. I understand she's human, but you're supposed to keep that stuff at least out of the classroom. Then to act like you're the reason she's having a terrible day? All for a silly mistake? I'm not a fan of your teachers attitude towards such an innocent flub-up, or her students who try to be kind to her.
Clynnko: THIS! Based on OP's description, his math teacher has poor boundaries and is disclosing way too much about her personal life. Also, her comment was pretty harsh.
Atari-Dude: I did online school once I started high school, but in middle school, there were 3 teachers that I considered actual friends (I was a relatively mature kid that many teachers enjoyed having in a school otherwise filled with trouble making clowns). Yeah I think there are boundaries and shit you shouldn't say in that professional environment while they are still your teacher and vice versa, but sometimes just on a friend-level, a teacher could tell a student stuff about their life. BUT the way that teacher reacted to OP's small mistake? I think that shows me she should never have been talking about it with OP. Unless you've actually become irl friends, in which case a friend wouldn't blame and damn you for such a trivial mistake. A real friend would've listened to the explanation and could've forgiven you. OP's teacher sounds nothing like that.
If this situation happened to me at the time-- I feel like those 3 middle school teachers of mine would've been embarrassed that in their professional environment where the integrity of their career and livelihood hangs on the line, such a slip up occurred. They would likely come across as embarrassed and even angry in the moment (or they'd just play it cool and move on without it impacting their teachings at all because they're professional), but I feel that after class, I would've gone up and explained to them the situation. And they'd, for the most part, on a human level... understand my fuck up and respect that I'm owning to it. Even if they were pissed and lost trust in me that I let the slip-up occur.
Fun fact: at the end of 6th grade, my math teacher was taking suggestions for shows to watch on the last day of school. Me being me, I suggested an intellectual show that I enjoyed: Person of Interest. I suggested picking an episode from season 1. The teacher chose the pilot, and it started with this *man and woman kissing in bed, ooh!* At that point she turned the series off before it even got to explaining the plot of the freaking show lmfao. While I simply forgot that was how the pilot began, I felt shunned for my mistake. Until 5 minutes later when everyone but the teacher forgot about it and some cartoon was on or something.
AinoTiani: My mum hates "fantasy" fantasy but will read historical fantasy. Sometime after the first season of GoT came out I suggested to her telling her that it was basically political fantasy and I thought she would enjoy it. I totally forgot that the first scenes in the first episode were full of white walkers and very much the type of fantasy she didn't like.
She didn't watch far enough to get to the other stuff. (In hindsight she probably was lucky!)
| 7 | 199.857143 | |
1670024902 | 1670031042 | t3_zb1xe5 | t5_2to41 | 1 | Melodic_Village_6056: TIFU by not asking the girl I liked to dance
So tomorrow a kid from my high school is having a dance party at a sailing club. All of my friends are asking people they like, or friends to dance with them. Two of my friends told me to ask a girl I like (Lily) to dance and I said no because I chickened out. I don’t really know what happened but then I changed my mind a few minutes later and I decided I was going to do it. 5 minutes later after my friends told me to ask her I told my friend group I was going to text her and pop the question. I was expecting to hear some encouragement, but instead my friend said he already asked her. I ended up asking one of my friends but now I am beating myself up about it and I wanna know if there is anything I can do to dance or have a moment with Lily before she and my friend become something I want to be.
TL;DR
I messed up by waiting to long to ask a girl to dance, and my friend took the girl I liked.
AcrobaticSource3: > now I am beating myself up about it
Since you don’t have a date, you’ll also have to best yourself off
Melodic_Village_6056: ?
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1670025059 | 1670028701 | t3_zb1zit | t5_2to41 | 0 | OutlandishnessUpper6: TIFU by using Inspect Element to reverse-engineer my school theatre department's website to use what I'd've gained from it on my own creation.
Pretty much started the process of reverse-engineering the site this morning, started pulling text label names using inspect element, thought nothing of it.
I continued a little on the bus ride home, as I needed to know what naming system to look for on my own website, and still thought nothing of it.
Fast forward to arriving home...
I check my phone, and I saw I had an email, and it was my director, and the subject was the website.
I see this and I think "Oh shit she mistook it for hacking didn't she?"
I open the email, and let's just say, she majorly mistook an innocent act of reverse-engineering for innocent reasons for hacking. All over INSPECT ELEMENT!!
Guess I'll never be doing that again.
TL: DR
Used Inspect Element to innocently reverse-engineer my school theatre department's website for the naming systems of text labels, got it mistaken for hacking, and pissed off my director badly.
Riegel_Haribo: That website's URL please. Asking... for reasons.
OutlandishnessUpper6: I've already pissed my director off by using inspect element on our website. I don't think I'm supposed to give our URL out to the public.
I don't wanna piss her off further. My high school theatre tech career is at steak already.
Riegel_Haribo: Simply forward said email to school administration, with a reminder that published web pages are made to be downloaded and read by any technical measures one wants to use, and analytics tools being used to spy on the every movement of individuals across a site in the hands of the uneducated power-trippers are a broad overreach.
Also researching a "naming system of text labels" for your own website? You need to be a better technical writer yourself if composing fiction.
OutlandishnessUpper6: I'm using the label ID's if that's what we're gonna call 'em to write code that changes the label's associated text.
| 5 | 0 | |
1671975454 | 1671997013 | t3_zuy9om | t5_2to41 | 76 | AnarchyOnCrack: TIFU by attempting to make pork crackling
My sister(f27) cooked a wonderful pork roast for Christmas lunch, she cut off the fat and left it in the roasting pan.(important)
Being a budding home chef I(m25) decided that it would be a good idea to try and make pork crackling.
I've watched several YouTube videos in the past month and figured that it can't be that hard, hot oil + pork fat + a few minutes = delicious crunchy goodness.
Now being an an amateur cook(not great, but I get by) I have had my fair share of hot oil spitting when coming into contact with water. In my haste to make crackling, I did not stop to think that this fat had been soaking in the pork juice left in the roasting pan. Thus there was a significant amount of moisture absorbed into the fat. (first fuck up)
I cut up a few pieces of fat and tossed them into the oil.
That did not go well.
It bubbled and popped and oil was flying out of the pan at an alarming rate at a not so insignificant velocity.
In a moment of clarity and self-preservation, I decided that the water content was making this endeavour rather dangerous. I had to reduce the water, but fast as I was beginning to experience hallucinations of golden, crunchy and salty crackling dancing before my eyes.
A light bulb came on in my lizard brain and I had an idea, why don't I dry out the fat in the air fryer?
I congratulated myself on being so clever and cut up the rest of the fat. I then placed it in the air fryer to dry out.
By this time, I was desperate, I would have that crackling one way or another regardless of the consequences. This act of desperation was my downfall, all that it did was dry out the outside of the pork fat and seal in the moisture.
Not realising this, I then proceeded to put the now dried-on-the-outside-but-wet-on-the-inside pork fat into boiling oil.
It started crisping up beautifully, it was sizzling so happily...then the oil reached the water that was sealed away inside the fat.
There was an almighty "POP! " as it promptly exploded with such violence that it sent most of the oil and chunks of pork fat all over the kitchen ceiling and the surrounding area. Luckily I was using a small pot that concentrated the blast of hot oil and pork fat to mostly the ceiling.
I narrowly escaped injury but shrieking like a little girl and leaping backwards.
There was oil EVERYWHERE and chunks of half cooked pork fat scattered all over the kitchen to the extent that I may be finding mummified remains for months to come.
I spent the next 40 minutes mopping the floor, cleaning cupboards and the stove top.
I now need to repaint the kitchen and the ceiling in its entirety due to oil stains.
TLDR; Moisture inside porkfat go boom in hot oil.
Rob_AMG: Don't use oil, the fat in the pork belly creates its own oil. Try it again. It's worth it.
RudeSprinkles1240: It wasn't pork belly.
FakeCurlyGherkin: Loin, leg, belly, doesn't matter. The oven does the crackling, no frying needed
| 4 | 19 | |
1670027965 | 1670124598 | t3_zb314z | t5_2to41 | 9,884 | UhOhThatsNotYourButt: TIFU, by talking bad about a "cult" in my hometown.
Yikes. Normal day at work, boring and uneventful as usual.
Friend at work was discussing video games, asked for his gamer ID so we could play some later. It's the same name as a famouscult leader, the one who had the people drink the Kool-Aid that made them sleepy....
We got on a tangent about Jonestown, Waco, and then I brought up a cult that live on the property of an abandoned haunted house that's situated in a cave.
Another coworker in the room became very upset at me for insinuating that it was a cult. I said "It sounds a lot like a cult from what I've read and seen on TV about it."
She became very upset and told me I didn't know what I was talking about. I thought that was weird, so I searched for them online again after not doing so for many years.
Guess who's photo is on an interview piece done about the "Cult"? My co-worker.
I FEEL SO FUCKING BAD GUYS. I basically just shit talked this girls whole community.
I'm going to apologize for what I said. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. Ouch.
Edit: since this has blown up I’ll address some questions.
1. I called it a cult because it’s been featured as a cult on VICE news, Dr Phil, Lisa Ling, Oprah. It’s also been featured on numerous websites. I found a blog post by a woman that used to be with the leader of the group and the comments on the blog post are filled with people calling it a cult. set-free-indeed.blogspot.com/2018/02/back-from-year-fall-of-september-2009.html?m=1
2. The cave is the abandoned haunted house. Before they moved there, it was used as a big scale haunted house type of thing where people would go for Halloween. It shut down due to safety concerns because portions of the cave were deemed uninhabitable.
3. The leader of the group has a double major in religion and psychology. He has a way of talking to people that makes them feel as if he has all the answers to their problem. He’s said some very inflammatory things about organized religion and mega churches.
4. Not everyone believes it’s a cult. They do feed and house a lot of homeless, drug addicts, and felons there. There have been some very bad people that have stayed there. One man was arrested for trying to bomb churches in Oklahoma.
5. I feel bad because the person I know who this TIFU was related to is not a bad person. She appears to have been taken in by this group with no other place to go. According to her, she has had substance abuse issues and they helped her get over them.
6. I believe it’s a cult because of the numerous allegations by former members that it is a cult and that the leader manipulates people into doing things. Like telling people that they can hear the voice of God, telling them to leave their husband, his idea of Spiritual Marriage, which states you can divorce someone just because you hear a voice that says so.
7. This man has full blown dialogues with God. He has written a book, allegedly with the same name.
8. There’s more that I cannot say because the last thing I want is to be fired from my job for making this a big deal. Just pointing out what I know to be true and what I have heard from others who know this group.
* TL;DR I talked bad about a religious group in front of my coworkers and found out that one of the members of that group is also one of my coworkers and it's very awkward. I want to apologize but I feel so awkward about it.
Workaccountnodata: People in cults should be made aware of how the outside world perceives them.
Kelsusaurus: If you've researched any cults and the fallout they can have, you know that this is 100% typical cult leader behavior and they want exactly that. They *want* their followers to know how the outside perceives them because it's a manipulation tactic.
"Look what they think of us, the ones who are righteous and saved. They are the ignorant ones, they don't have the knowledge, truth and experience you have. They're trying to mislead you, but youre good and loyal and blessed and would never stray, right? It's us vs them."
daveescaped: As a former cult member (Mormonism) I agree and disagree. When I was on my 2-year mission people would comment to me that I was in a cult. Two things happened inside; one was the backfire effect or *belief perseverance*. So when someone would say something like that I’d take offense and retrench further in to my beliefs. That was a powerful and immediate effect. It’s actually a reasonable defense mechanism.
But there was another response to this kind of comment. It took far longer to impact me. It required me to have candid moments of self reflection. And in those moments, those comments about being in a cult would come back to me. And I’d have to wrestle with them. And it was tougher to dismiss them when it was just me and myself all alone.
Granted it still took me 20 years to leave the cult/faith. But some of that is due to issues of circumstance.
I don’t think OP effed up. The candidness of his comment may have been helpful.
wannalearnstuff: what makes mormonism a cult? and is mormonism alll one unifomrmity or are there multiple splits/denominations in the religion?
whenever i come across a mormon person ive had an overall good impression of them personally. so im curious and wouldn't have suspected.
daveescaped: Here are a few things that all fully participating Mormon adults have been through:
Making secret promises in the Temple including never to divulge what goes on in the temple. What goes on in the temple includes where robes and chanting in circles. In my time (25 years ago) it included a dude anointing your privates with oil and you promising that you’d rather slit your guts open than reveal what happens in the temple even making a cutting gesture across your throat in the ceremony.
Missions are two years of working on spreading the word. There is not dating during that time. I was on my allowed to c all home 2 times per year at age 19. People are shamed for masturbating (this goes on for the entire time your are Mormon).
I could go on. This is the common stuff. At the very top of the organization there are perhaps a few thousand people who are given a super secret blessing (called a second anointing) that promises them a straight ticket to heaven no matter what they do. Church manuals specifically say not to talk about the second anointing.
So it’s all like a a silly fraternity rite taken to the extreme. Meanwhile Mormons believe only they have the full truth.
A Mormons nice people? Sure. But so are atheists (like me). I like my Mormon in-laws. Good people. And calling it a cult isn’t helpful. I get that. It’s a high-control religion. Maybe that’s better.
I left with my wife and kids at age 45. You have to work pretty hard to get them to leave you alone. And you might even need to get a lawyer involved to get out fully. At a minimum it requires a notary.
Any of that help?
wannalearnstuff: >Making secret promises in the Temple including never to divulge what goes on in the temple. What goes on in the temple includes where robes and chanting in circles. In my time (25 years ago) it included a dude anointing your privates with oil and you promising that you’d rather slit your guts open than reveal what happens in the temple even making a cutting gesture across your throat in the ceremony.
is this a pretty uniform practice across any Mormon temple?
>I could go on. This is the common stuff. At the very top of the organization there are perhaps a few thousand people who are given a super secret blessing (called a second anointing) that promises them a straight ticket to heaven no matter what they do. Church manuals specifically say not to talk about the second anointing.
i suppose this gets pretty ripe for abuse? have you directly seen someone with this annointing abuse it with the attitude of "i can be sinful as i want because i have my ticket to heaven anyway."
what od you think separates a mormon from other cults? because other cults you can kind of tell the person is crazy. but mormons just seem to blend in normally to daily life. which makes me wonder what do you think is the differentiator in practies and teachings that allows one cult to blend and be normal people outsiders would hang out with, while other cults are "wow that person is crazy".
daveescaped: The temple practices I described are what every person who attends the temple experiences.
Regarding your question about whether this leads to direct sexual abuse in the Mormon temple I’d say a firm no. Perhaps it has happened but that is not common. It ain’t about it becoming sexual abuse. It’s about it being creepy as hell to begin with. It’s about control.
It’s really hard to describe how Mormonism compares to other cults. People have a very cartoonish view of cults. And Mormonism doesn’t “look” like what people expect of that cartoonish cult stereotype. Mormonism is far from the worst or most abusive cults. But it does create an environment of control and secrecy.
Recently it came to light that my Wife’s sisters daughter was being raped by the Dad. It had initially been covered up by church leaders. Luckily it came to light. But this is common that the church covers up abuse. Is abuse worse in Mormonism? No and yes. Abusers are probably no more common in Mormonism than elsewhere. But that environment of secrecy and hiding dirty laundry allows abuse to continue. It is a lot like Catholicism in this regard but the perpetrators are not priests as much as congregants.
I was not harmed by Mormonism. But I was lead to believe falsehoods and gave away around $100,000 to the church before I came to my senses.
wannalearnstuff: oh i didn't mean sexual abuse. i mean that people abuse the second annointing by it getting to their ego or viewing it as a ticket to be as sinful as they want because they are guaranteed heaven?
daveescaped: Ah, I see. Apologies. Again, not really. These are usually people who are deeply in to Mormonism.
What is disturbing about the second anointing is that it is secret and entirely unfair/elitist. It creates classes in the church. It makes an authoritarian church even more so.
wannalearnstuff: gotcha. which feed back into the theme of control you express?
so what are the levers of control? why do people have to follow orders or attempts at control from those in a higher social class? what's the consequence if you don't?
daveescaped: The consequences are being made an outsider.
Mormonism has no “liberal” branch. There isn’t any ability to be the guy in the congregation who is like, “you people are ok but imma do my own thing”. You’ll always feel second class as long as you aren’t fully in line. And you’ll be treated with suspicion. This is especially true if you were believing previously.
None of this happens formally. It all happens informally. People just don’t trust a Mormon who was a firm believer and then becomes less orthodox.
wannalearnstuff: i totally understand. i've lived a cultural life before that is fairly similar.
even when you say "xyz person of higher social class tried to get me to do this but i didn't because it was wrong and i talked back because he/she was being very rude and degrading and insulting" somehow everyone says you are being wrong and crazy. reminds me of a scene from Dumbo, where people were throwing things and insulting Dumbo, so his mom protected him and pushed people away with her trunk, and she gets called crazy and a mad elephant and imprisoned. they labeled her defending her child as being a crazzy mad elephant, as if she should let the other people do wahtever they want since they are a higher social class.
does that sound just about relatable?
daveescaped: Of course.
And to be fair, in Mormonism, the in-group/out-group thing is pretty much binary. You are either in or you are out.
So for people like me who decide they no longer believe, you don’t even stick around to say goodbye. You just leave. Why would you stick around so everyone can tell you how you’re crazy and you’ve lost it?
wannalearnstuff: ah got it. props to you for having the strength.
how does this sort of control culture play out in the home in how mom and dad acts to their kids?
do they have a similar attitude of their word is infalliable and nothing can be debated/you have to be fully in line?
thank you for teaching me some of these things. just learning about what surroinds us helps me heal my aown wounds and get a sense of normalcy too. i have faced similar dynamics that i'm almsot there fully coming full circle on and overcoming.
daveescaped: >how does this sort of control culture play out in the home in how mom and dad acts to their kids?
The culture gives cover for narcissists. But luckily, I don’t think most people are born narcissists.
My wife’s parents are a bit controlling for sure. But they are average for Mormons.
Funny story: when we started dating, my future mother-in-law gave me a pamphlet title *Is Kissing Sinful?* So yeah, that happened.
wannalearnstuff: >The culture gives cover for narcissists. But luckily, I don’t think most people are born narcissists.
thats quite a way to put it. and so true.
i have this theory. but people like yourself and i who have been apart of family structures of controlling parental cultures, it has this odd effect.
my theory is that to some extent, people who come from these sorts of parental cultures are better at being well adapted to society and how to lead a group because well, if we are abused to an extent, we are forced to understand another person's needs growing up out of fear of avoidign the abuse. so it has this twisted effect of being abused to an extent makes us more considerate of others and their feelings, which leads to knowing how to operate in a societal framework but also at being a leader, beacuse it is essential to understand human emotions to be a good leader.
daveescaped: Interesting. I can see that.
| 18 | 549.111111 | |
1671977365 | 1671980314 | t3_zuys4u | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a cashier think I am a drug addict/dealer
[removed]
RudeSprinkles1240: They can report you all they want. If they try to use the vitamin as evidence against you, they have to test it, and it'll test negative for controlled substances, so no worries.
Now, if a cop finds loose pills on you, they might be able to arrest you for suspicion of possession of controlled substances, and while the charges don't stick, that would be a big pain in the ass. In the US, you could spend some time in jail.
I think that going forward, you probably shouldn't put loose pills in your pocket. It's a bit unsanitary anyway.
endcodes: > Now, if a cop finds loose pills on you, they might be able to arrest you for suspicion of possession of controlled substances, and while the charges don't stick, that would be a big pain in the ass. In the US, you could spend some time in jail.
Is this real? I could spend time in jail for a vitamin?? I take them around because its recommended to take one every day, so if I go outside I can have one on hand.
RudeSprinkles1240: I don't trust cops. I'd carry the whole bottle just to be safe. In the US, cops go into people's houses in the middle of the night and shoot them in their beds. Yes, if the cop doesn't believe you that the loose supplement is legal, they can arrest you on suspicion of possession, and though they would eventually have to drop the charges, it would still ruin your day and potentially, if you can't afford bail, leave you locked up for a while.
endcodes: I'm dumb I guess....thanks for the heads up but I dont know if I can carry all the bottles of supplements with me at all times. Wow I cant believe vitamins could land someone in jail.....thank you
| 5 | 1 | |
1670029379 | 1670033144 | t3_zb3j3r | t5_2to41 | 35 | SAlNTMARS: TIFU by not knowing what sex is and embarrassing myself.
​
This literally occurred a couple of hours ago and we're in different rooms in her house and I'm fairly sure that she's crying by the sound coming from her room.
I am a (freshly) 18 year old male who lives deep in what you would call 'the Bible Belt', American flags and Trump banners galore, the type of place where you'd find people who swear that the south won the war, four of my neighbors were even part of the capitol riots, I'm not kidding. Anyway, enough about politics. What I'm trying to get at here is that my town (of less than 1000 people) is three things: Christian, Conservative, and White.
We have a set of schools, one pre-k/kindegarten/elementary, one middle school, and one high school. Most of the people here go/went there, but a decent amount are home schooled since certain parents believe that the 'woke agenda poisoning our curriculum' is destroying the 'good christian population'.
I was one of those kids that was home schooled, I had English (primarily made up of 'true' classics, Huckleberry Finn, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, etc), Math (which worked well), Social Studies (My favorite subject), and Science. I never had a health class or anything. Instead I had bible study where my dad would read to me and my siblings and we'd talk about what it meant. It was our longest 'class' and the only time I ever really got to interact with the Bible now that I think about it.
So yeah, we never learned about safe sex because we didn't learn about sex in the first place, I never had a computer or phone before my 18th birthday, so I couldn't just search it up. The whole homeschool situation absolutely obliterated my social skills, so I had no friends to introduce me to the concept, and my parents would always just 'innocently' word things differently when they read to us so that they could leave out the parts that contained sex.
Anyway, fast forward to last week, my girlfriend had a family emergency and came home from school to spend some time with her mom, I decide to spend some time with them as well so I can comfort her (as nobody else is doing that).
Now, today, her mother gets invited to a party a few states away, and we have the house all to ourselves, we spend the day making hot cocoa, cuddling, and watching terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE hallmark movies. We're all snug on the couch, the wind blowing outside is like music to our ears, and she talks about how her mom probably wont be back for a couple of days, at the very least--followed by a kiss. That's not unusual, I know what a kiss is, I've done it a lot. I tell her I love her, same old same old, then she kisses me again, asks if I want to get in bed with her, I nod sure, we get in her bed, kiss some more.
Then she gets naked, ok, I've seen her naked before, nothing insane, the sun's still shining outside and the earth is still spinning; but I guess I have to get naked now too? I get a little tingly feeling in my bladder, but I ignore it, I'm sure it can wait, right?
We fumble around a bit until I'm on top of her and she has her legs wrapped around me, then I freeze up, I wonder if something is supposed to happen, I know ladies have 'a place' down there, and that theres a thing that happens between us that has something to do with my penis, but what is that thing and how the actual fuck do I accomplish that with her?
A few minutes go by and she eventually notices my pause and tells me that 'I can'
"I can what?"
"Do it."
It's my first time in that position, I don't even know *what* we're doing and apparently it seems that she's well-versed in it, and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of her, so what do I do, you may ask?
I think: What does my penis do all the time so much so that it doesn't even need to have a *name?*
And I start to pee on her chest.
It takes four seconds for everything to devolve into complete and utter chaos, she screams and gets herself off of the bed, then runs to get a towel, she knocks down a bunch of stuff on her desk when I end up, in turn, also pissing on because I'm running after her wondering why she's sob-screaming, and I end up slipping on the piss trail I created when things calm down and I return to get my clothes.
Now she wont talk to me and I'm afraid she's going to tell her friends.
​
TL;DR: I didn't know what to do during sex so instead of going inside her I peed on my girlfriend and her stuff.
greatdevonhope: First day on reddit and already telling porky pies for karma OP?
SAlNTMARS: Throwaway account for obvious reasons, probably should've clarified in the post. My family doesn't use reddit, I know people that do. Is there some way I can show you that this actually happened?
greatdevonhope: Ok it's hard to start pissing with an erection but is super easy to stop. Even as a virgin disaster story it doesn't really ring true tbh. Also have you never been on the internet as large parts of it are just about sex. Also throughout the entire history of animals with penises and vaginas, they have managed to figure it out, without any education at all.
That said if this is true and did happen, chalk it up to experience and she's totally telling people.
SAlNTMARS: Also being completely honest with you, I don't know why (I do know why; I'm fucking stupid) but my mind went to peeing before awkwardly rubbing against her body until I managed to get inside of her. And even then, her wording was..vague(? Is that the word?), I didn't even know if that's what she wanted.
greatdevonhope: Ok advice for the future. If you aren't ready to talk to someone about sex, so you both know what you want and what's happening and contraception etc then you are not ready to have sex. Although seems like my boy got a some of his dick inside before covering her in piss, that counts (ish) yr not a virgin anymore.
Last bit, who cares if the people here believe you, we are just random people in the internet. I'm not even on the same continent as you. Just in case this is real (credit u/ninpho2246 for putting the thought in my head that may be you are an x rated mr bean irl)
Talk to her asap, like now and explain. Be honest with her
SAlNTMARS: I will, and I think that despite everyone here being random people who don't and probably never will know each other, having your post mocked and be called a lie still hurts, even if I'm the only one who knows that it's true. Thank you for the advice regardless, it means a lot.
| 7 | 5 | |
1671979458 | 1671990211 | t3_zuzd66 | t5_2to41 | 418 | throwawayonlypls: TIFU by almost hooking up with one of my best friends.
We were at a house party of some of our mutual friends, things got out of hand and we started fooling around. Sex wasn't involved but we got pretty close before thinking it wasn't a good idea. We just cuddled and slept.
The next day she starts acting a little weird and i feel like she has caught feelings. She has felt this way about me in the past but i wasn't interested and didn't wanna ruin our friendship so we just called it off. I still don't wanna ruin the friendship and I'm still not into her that way, but at the same time I don't wanna hurt her and tell her to go away or smth.
After a few days she starts flirting with me on text and i wasn't really flirting back so out of nowhere she sends me nudes. I didn't wanna be rude and disrespect her so I kinda played along but not that much. I'm afraid this is gonna ruin our friendship and most importantly I'm not looking for a relationship rn.
TL;DR- Almost hooked up with a friend and now she's caught feelings. I don't wanna ruin the friendship
Synn0289: Leading her on(even tho you think you're not)will cause more damage than just being honest. You have to tell her the truth, be honest to the point.
Kartoshka_pricel: Been on the receiving end of this... Not fun
throwawayonlypls: What would you rather have them do instead?
Kartoshka_pricel: Tell me flat out that it's not going to happen. It's going to suck but it's better than the other way. Believe me
| 5 | 83.6 | |
1670013189 | 1670037601 | t3_zawsfh | t5_2to41 | 11 | JustM3H3r3: Tifu by forgetting my phone at my date's place
So I met this guy for the first time today. We had a drink together first and then we went back to his place to watch a show.
I remember the first time I went to the bathroom there this evening, I already forgot my phone in there and had to go back in to get it, so I even told myself to remember to take the phone once I'm done when I went a second time before he walked me to the stop for my city train to the station.
Well clearly I didn't listen to myself. I get on the city train and realise my phone isn't in my bag so I realise and lowkey panic. My phone, so my only way to contact this guy or my mom or access my ticket home while I'm in a big city in the evening when it's dark alone, is at his place.
I get off at the next stop and jog back along where the tracks go. Thankfully he pointed out a sushi place at the stop where he kissed me goodnight, so I could use that as a guide and then I still had to find where his place was from where the stop was.
All while there were a bunch of strange men trying to hit on me left and right because I was alone and it was lowkey scary.
After I went into the wrong building, I walked into the next which was thankfully actually where he lived. I honestly couldn't believe I found it because I don't have great orientation.
I ring his doorbell and he's super surprised to see me, so I explain everything, get my phone, he tries to go full make out mode, but I tell him I need to catch my train and say goodnight.
I ended up missing my train at the station, but I took another one and my mom (god bless her) picked me up from our nearest station since my bus would've taken almost another hour to come from there and it was cold and dark.
So yea...that was kinda scary and awkward...but it had a happy ending 😅
Tldr: I forgot my phone at a guy's place I met today and I had to find my way back to his place in a dark shady part of a big city to get it
AcrobaticSource3: > he tries to go full make out mode
What an asshole, you got lost and scramble just to be safe, and all he wants to do is fuck. The silver lining of this story is that you know never to contact him again, he doesn’t care about you, he only cares about his dick
JustM3H3r3: Oh I'm not sure if he was trying to fuck since I did clearly tell him that wasn't gonna happen since I had made a really bad experience at a guy's place once where he really pushed my physical boundaries and he did seem to understand and didn't touch me while we were watching the show or anything. It was just the intense kissing when I came to get my phone that threw me off a bit
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1671980440 | 1672030722 | t3_zuznfb | t5_2to41 | 4,642 | recovery-type-beat: TIFU by jerking off the night before Christmas
Today is Christmas and last night, I was talking to a friend over Snapchat. Her and I were sending snaps back and forth, and she was showing a lot of cleavage. She loves to tease me because she knows I get sexually frustrated but I’m too shy to initiate sexting/sex with anyone. In my selfies she could definitely tell how flustered I was.
I know this because she started sending stuff like “You seem like there’s something you want to tell me 😉” while showing a bunch of cleavage.
It’s been well over a year since we’d done anything this, and a while since I jerked off in general (I survived NNN and hadn’t jerked off all of December up until last night)
Her cleavage alone looked so beautiful, I just couldn’t resist anymore, and she kept nudging me, so I politely asked to see them, and this led to us sending nudes back and forth while masturbating.
This ends in me sending a video of myself nutting with the sound on.
Now - when I nut, a *lot* of cum shoots out, especially if I’ve been edged this long. All my focus was on making a good video and the orgasm itself, so of course I made a bit of a mess. This usually isn’t a problem because I do my own laundry.
But, me, being a horny idiot, forgot what night it was.
It was Christmas Eve.
Now, some family lore. I am the oldest of all my siblings. It’s tradition in our family that we all wear the matching pajamas that our mother brings us the night before Christmas.
I was wearing the pajamas.
This morning I opened presents alongside my parents and younger siblings, while there are visible cum stains on my brand new Christmas pajama shirt.
I have no idea if any of them noticed.
TLDR: My friend kept teasing me over Snapchat, I couldn’t resist anymore, and we started sending each other nudes. I took a video of me nutting so she could watch, got cum stains on the Christmas pajamas my mom bought for me. The next day is Christmas and I couldn’t change my outfit because I had to match with my siblings. This morning I opened presents with my family while having visible cum stains on my brand new pajama shirt.
JesusSaysRelaxNvaxx: Why didn't you wash it off in the sink and hang dry it for the morning?? Lol
recovery-type-beat: I ain’t really realize until the morning
adoorabledoor: You didn't realize you had pyjamas on when you were sending nudes? This won't do kid
recovery-type-beat: No like, I mean I didn’t realize it would be an issue until the morning. If it wasn’t Christmas I would’ve washed it today but I had to keep the clothes on to match with my siblings.
adoorabledoor: Have you ever been in contact with jizz before?since you didn't say you've never touched yourself i would have to imagine you're an expert by now. No expert would do this. Stop lying man
recovery-type-beat: I don’t masturbate often. When I do, it’s messy. It gets on my clothes. I wash my own clothes. I don’t see the big deal.
adoorabledoor: Don't come on your clothes
recovery-type-beat: Why not?
winston2552: Because opening up Christmas presents with your family covered in your own jizz makes you look like a dipshit
Holy shit kidd...
slitlip: He's not a kid he's 21. But yeah use kleenex why are you cumming on yourself for?
winston2552: I used kid to signify maturity age I guess. He may be physically 21 but between the dumbassery of what he did and his "why?" above...kids not 21 lol
| 12 | 386.833333 | |
1671981092 | 1672062588 | t3_zuzu39 | t5_2to41 | 486 | Juicyjccccc: TIFU bringing weed brownies to the family gathering.
This took place yesterday on Christmas Eve. Some pretext, I made a potent batch of weed brownies last week. I'm actually super proud of them, basically my first attempt. Some rough calculations, and I figured about 150mgs of THC per brownie. I have a pretty high tolerance and had eaten several over the past days, they were tasty and got me pretty baked, just the way I like them. I had 1 left and was saving it for an occasion.
​
My stepmother was hosting a small Christmas Eve party at her house, so we packed our presents and rallied the kids into the car. I grabbed my last brownie and decided to eat it when we got to the party. We arrive and unload everything, begin mingling and the kids start playing. I start eating my snack in another room... when "Bob" happens to stroll by and see me snacking. Now Bob is a pretty avid marijuana user, and has a similar tolerance to me. We start chatting and I mentioned that I was eating a really strong pot brownie, and offered him the last 1/4 of mine. I **clearly** made the point that they were *potent,* and Bob surely could handle this piece (he can and did, the FU is what happens after). So he takes his little 1/4 piece and starts eating it. We head our separate ways.
​
About an hour later, I start hearing murmurs through the house that my stepmother isn't feeling well.... I didn't think too much of it initially. But after some time, Bob comes back to discretely inform me that he had offered some brownie to my stepmother... someone that rarely uses marijuana. She had a bit of a panic attach once the effects started setting in, and vomited. She was away in her bathroom having this episode with Bob there with her. The rest of our family patiently waited in the guest room without much of a clue as to what was going on. At 6pm we were supposed to start opening presents and playing games, but more than an hour had past while we all waited for my stepmother to appear from her room.
​
I felt so terrible when I found out what had happened. She was *never* intended to have those edibles. I couldn't believe Bob had shared it with her. Perhaps on another occasion would have been better, but this was not that time. My stepmother was alright again after about an hour. She barfed what she had eaten and was eventually able to calm down. Once I knew what was happening, I sent her a brief but inspiring text, while also apologizing for my snacks ending up in her hands. In the end, my stepmother and I were baked and smiling the rest of the evening. Lots of laughs and joy was had, despite such a bad mix up just hours earlier. I told Bob how dumb that was, and won't be sharing edibles with him again.
​
TL;DR: Brought a weed brownie to my family Xmas party and shared a piece with someone. They shared it with someone who should not have a weed brownie.
Edit: added some words
manurosadilla: Hey dude it happens, just maybe next time don’t bring nuclear brownies to a family gathering lmao
Juicyjccccc: Lesson learned!
runarleo: Nah bring one nuke and a few torpedoes. Hog the nuke, share the torpedoes.
The_Lapsed_Pacifist: I can see the tifu now “so I brought a nuke and a few torpedoes, accidentally gave grandma the nuke”
runarleo: Hey, I’m not here to give good advice. I’m just trying to make redditors give me free content to get me thru the holidays.
The_Lapsed_Pacifist: That’s almost cartoonishly evil, are you perchance twirling a moustache right now? Hope you make it through your holidays, I’m stuck away from my wife so I can sympathise.
runarleo: I might be twirling a bit of facial hair, yes, but my ‘tache sadly isn’t anything to write home about.
| 8 | 60.75 | |
1671981814 | 1671983113 | t3_zv01rf | t5_2to41 | 11 | Grand_Heresy: TIFU by being completely unable to help my online friend who helped me through quarantine
Christmas is a time for joy and god damn despair, united at last into one beautiful mess of jolly tunes and family feuds. My family is rather small, so I personally have no such worries, but a good online friend of mine did. To cut a long, long story short, he had a shitty Christmas, and one of his points was that his family had consistently gotten him pretty generic gifts over the years, and he perceived that as his family being a bit uncaring.
I admittedly didn't know enough about his family to say anything. I should've shut the fuck up and just served as a shoulder to cry on and be a good listener, but I *had* to fucking weigh in with my shitty opinion. I kept suggesting that he might've been giving this a bit of undue weight, and that maybe he was just overthinking it all. I kept doing it, despite him explaining to me several times just how shitty his family is to him. At some point I just became aggressive, and he reasonably did too. We were at each other's throats, and he just walked from the conversation.
I felt terrible and kept messaging him, saying I was sorry and spiriling downwards into the self-loathing episodes I usally fall back to when I fuck up. He forced himself to calm down and told me that it's okay. This guy has, consistently, been a helping hand to me through the quarantine, and has helped me accept myself as trans and much more. This guy is helpful, supportive, funny, smart, and just... overall amazing to me, and when he trusts me *once,* when he puts faith in me, when he thinks that I'll be able to support him, I fail, hard. I ended up making his situation worse, and now I don't know how damaged our relationship is.
This might sound like a silly story, but feeling powerless like this is a trigger to my episodes of low self-esteem, and I think I'll be reminding myself of this catastrophic, seminal failure for the next couple of weeks. Sorry for this silly story, a lot of people go through way worse, but I had to get this small thing off my chest.
note 1: holy shit I had to resubmit this like 3 times because of formatting mistakes, what the hell am I doing?
TL;DR had a great friend come to me for support, and I failed to deliver it, hard.
Stoney-McBoney: Your friend sounds insufferable and I think you’re putting too much weight on your reaction when in turn he was trying to wallow in self pity because he didn’t like his gifts. Happy holidays.
Grand_Heresy: I'm not representing him well enough, he really does have bad history with his immediate family, the gifts were just a small representation of the bigger problems with his family. Like, the small thing that made him reflect over everything else.
Stoney-McBoney: I obviously don’t have all the information here but a friend lashing out at another friend for trying to console them is a red flag. If someone doesn’t understand where you are coming from, move on. All I’m seeing here is he is upset about Christmas presents and he in turn ruined an outside party’s (yours) holiday now because of his behavior.
Bad things happen to everyone but your character decides how you react to those things, and your friend sounds like he doesn’t have a lot of character.
Grand_Heresy: I was the one who started to be aggressive though. I fucked up because of short-temper, and he just reacted accordingly.
Stoney-McBoney: If that is the case, then just apologize. It’s Christmas. If you are friends he’ll probably understand.
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1671981910 | 1671992278 | t3_zv02t4 | t5_2to41 | 799 | YourInfidelityInMe: TIFU I didn’t listen to my gut and let a supposedly celibate dude ruin my Christmas Eve
You never really know how crazy someone is until you spend a night in town with them.
So I wasn’t going to write this because I didn’t want to get him in trouble. He works in a super religious environment and I’m pretty sure he’s not supposed to use ANY hookup app, even for shits and giggles. Well he uses one and that’s how we met. Thankfully I’m safe and not rotting away in some foreign jail cell, but I very well could be, on Christmas Day no less, had someone caught us.
Last night, a self-described “thrill seeker” offered to show me his favorite spots in the city. What I didn’t know was that he wanted me to feel him up, fondle his crotch (clothed), in public areas when no one was looking. Ok, some alarm bells did go off a little, but I figured he was super hot and though a little…awkward (?)…he would be good company as long as I didn’t end up alone in a private space with him where he could chop me up into little pieces.
I should have listened to my gut.
At first I was ok with fondling his package (discreetly) around fountains and plazas. But then, he took me to a very dark place. I found myself in the middle of a very holy square surrounded by Filipino (?) and French tourists/faithfuls, accompanied by my thrill-seeker friend, looking at the jumbotron screen while secretly fondling my guide’s package. He loved that shit. I, on the other hand, felt very uncomfortable. I’m by no means religious, but I didn’t feel it was appropriate at that time and in that space. On top of it all, every inch of that square was probably covered by CCTV. I did NOT want to be caught erotically stimulating a member of their organization - and end up in holy jail on Christmas Eve.
So I asked him to take me elsewhere. I really don’t know how he got so riled up with just fondling. When we emerged from the subway, his boner had already declared itself. He took me on a stroll down a deserted avenue by a park where large scale red lobster statues dotted the sidewalk in a CowParade-esque fashion. He made me stop at one statue and asked me to stand next to it, holding my hands up to imitate the lobster claws.
That’s when he pulled out his weiner. I mean, I knew what he was doing and what was going to happen. But the absurdity of the entire night, culminating in that instant of public jacking, felt like an out of body experience. So I just looked in awe. In just a couple strokes he finished.
He squirted on me. Some spurts landed on the lobster. I freaked. Not because of his cum. Under different circumstances I would have loved it. But we were *in public* and he finished to a red lobster.
I just said I can’t. And I left him there with his dick out. I didn’t even stay long enough to see him put his dick back where it belonged. I don’t know why I was so angry on my walk back, but I was. I’m less upset now. I just envisioned a better Christmas Eve on my little getaway, not a threesome with a red lobster.
TL;DR: I agreed to go on a city tour with a self-described thrill-seeker and ended in a threesome finish with a very religious man and a red lobster. If a very religious man, who is supposed to be celibate, offers to give you a tour of the city in exchange for some naughty fun, just say no. Merry Christmas.
Jimmy9Toes: I don't usually bash people on these. But come on, how much of a sheep can you be? I just saw Idiocracy recently, and this kinda shit is making me think it's on the horizon.
GsTSaien: Lmao bruh you do know the premise of that movie is beyond flawed right?
Jimmy9Toes: As a base ideal, it stands firmly. Dumb people raise more dumb people making more dumb people. Is this not that dumb? 🤔 Plus I said I just watched it, not deep dive it.
GsTSaien: Nope, not how that works. In reality, the people who are the least knowledgable are not actually cognitively less intelligent than others, they are just poorer. The reality is that while genetics does play a part in intelligence, this does not matter in a large scale as dumb people are a product of an environment, a lack of privilege. This does not translate to people evolving to be dumber.
You will find plenty of sharp people that have dumb beliefs or made dumb mistakes because of unprivileged environments.
Peasants and serfs were considered to be pretty damn stupid in the past, despite being the grand majority of people; and yet we only got smarter. Dumb people don't raise more dumb people, poor people raise more poor people. Being poor is an environmental quality, not a genetic one.
That movie, as good as it is, is a gross simplification of reality and is not based on scientific knowledge beyond an excessive missuse of what evolution means. You are not stupid for not knowing this though, just misinformed, as is the case with most people you simplify as "stupid". I am not smarter than you for knowing this, I am simply a nerd and a teacher, understanding cognitive functions is a necessary part of the skillset that enables me employment.
Jimmy9Toes: Cool man. You can deep dive a movie I said I know little about twice. Not gunna read, cause you're clearly tilted about some silly thing.
GsTSaien: I am not tilted, nor is it a deep dive. I am addressing the premise of the movie, which is flawed as that is not how evolution works.
Jimmy9Toes: Okay, so you're just preaching information no one asked about. As I stated twice, now 3 times. I quick summarized it, didn't dig that deep. Now, you did. So please stop explaining this movie to me, and why you believe it's flawed. Thanks
Kapope: Bruh you are literally being the idiot right now. Its hilariously ironic but also really fucking sad. Read what the man wrote, he is more educated than you and you will learn something.
Or hey, don’t accept his gift of knowledge and remain a happy little idiot. Your choice!
Jimmy9Toes: I made a small point and yall getting aggressive over. Just leave it. Merry Christmas!
| 10 | 79.9 | |
1671982350 | 1671989089 | t3_zv07hu | t5_2to41 | 149 | tifuthrowaway87563: TIFU by going through her phone.
Well guys I am typing this tear-eyed as I close a 3 year old relationship with someone who I trusted very much. And on Christmas too, it all happened so fast, literally less than 12 hours ago. Having to find out that my girlfriend was in love with another woman, someone who I know albeit little....and that she was experiencing turmoil being with me, but at the same time kept me clueless...because the events that happened today would've happened then and she would have had to move in with her parents, who she despises(my conclusion). Being told she loved me, but just as a friend, fucking hurt, and I was viewed as a friend for more than 6 months at least, while I did my best to support my girlfriend financially and emotionally over the past three years.
The worst part is, everyone encouraged her to pursue the relationship with her, while keeping everything from me a secret. Her friends, her sister...nobody thought about me...
There's more but I really don't want to type it all out.
TLDR:Went through my gf's phone, only to find out that she cheated on me emotionally(not physically as it was an unrequited love), but pretended to love me and live with me for another 6 months.
joeyracer: Sucks. But be happy that it wasn’t years down the line.
Diamondsfullofclubs: Should be posting this to r/UpliftingNews through tears of joy.
| 3 | 49.666667 | |
1670034215 | 1670085594 | t3_zb56cq | t5_2to41 | 42 | InSearchOfUpdog: TIFU by setting off fireworks and causing chaos in the neighborhood
[removed]
RocketPsy: If it's not the fourth of July, please don't set off fireworks. All sorts of domestic animals struggle with them.
harleyspoison267: I find it ironic that those who fight to defend our country are most miserable on patriotic holidays because people want to defend their right to blow shit up for no reason. But yes, also animals.
Spanky_Ikkala: Perhaps because fireworks can trigger PTSD in some vets? It's not like vets are saying this to screw with your holiday. But people want fireworks more than they care about other people's health and wellbeing, in some countries.
harleyspoison267: That's what I'm saying... My fiance is a combat vet. My rescue handles fireworks a lot better than he does, and where we live, fireworks are like a 2 month affair for some reason.
| 5 | 8.4 | |
1671982651 | 1672037709 | t3_zv0ans | t5_2to41 | 5,589 | [deleted]: TIFU; By inviting my Girlfriend over for Christmas.
[deleted]
___Phreak___: Are you sure he wasn't on the spectrum?
Smirkydarkdude: Mmm.. no. I guess I'm not sure.
ThrobbinGoblin: I'm pretty sure that autism of some sort runs in the men in my family because they are all like this, and nowadays if I take a psychological test they see it in me. I think that the only difference is that they didn't test for it or really know much about it back then, so men just had to mask their entire lives and deal with it or die single and childless.
I know this because when I was growing up it wasn't really a well tested for thing and I had to mask. And OPs story sounds like something I would do.
chantendo64: I think there’s also something to be said for it going on for generations and that being the normal for the family. My boyfriend and his dad act so similarly in some ways. Early on in our relationship I very gently suggested to him I thought he might have autism and he didn’t believe me at first because of how his dad acts and that that was their family’s normal. He ended up getting tested and was diagnosed. So I think along with the lack of testing there’s also a component of not thinking that testing is needed.
Adjectivenounnumb: Corollary: I didn’t realize until I was an older teen that having people come to your house to buy drugs from your parents wasn’t normal.
(Thanks, dad!)
ThrobbinGoblin: Dude, it's pretty normal. At least in America.
I mean... Isn't it? At least like weed or mushrooms at some point if you're in the midwest. Unless your parents are the most super conservative people or they didn't have you until they were in their thirties. At least in my experience there's a good proportion of them that at least dabbled.
Adjectivenounnumb: It was the 80s and it was cocaine and crack. :/
My father eventually ended up in federal prison for trafficking. (Yes trafficking, so bigger quantities.)
ThrobbinGoblin: Oh yeah, that's rough. Sorry about that. All my family members only grew and sold weed back in the day, and smoked the crack. Not well off enough to traffick or do coke 😅
| 9 | 621 | |
1671983388 | 1672049235 | t3_zv0ikl | t5_2to41 | 100 | DivineJust: TIFU by getting stoned
TIFU by smoking a spliff. Mind you I rarely smoke . I've met with my friend who was smoking a joint. We were to go to a Christmas Lunch for free food (lol). So anyway I hit the Blunt a few times and I got so stoned I actually avoided the lunch because I needed an extra walk. Then, my journey home I've almost collapsed because I split on my brain and I don't know how is that even possible but it was scary for a moment. Later on I moaned in agony and joy as I've felt my ego die. I took a long walk in the rain and eventually I realized I'm family. I'm family of myself and treating myself good is making me happy and it made me smile at myself, since I'm not really in good condition mentally,and it was really heartfelt.
TL/DR: TIFU by getting tstoned , I got too high, ended up with an ego death and salvation in the end
Rogue_Evelynn: Who the heck are you hanging out with so that spliff and joint are normal reference words to bud and flower?
That's your problem right there!
DivineJust: Meh? I thought they mean the same. Well in my country we call it a joint. In the UK I heard they are calling it a spliff. In the US if I'm not wrong it's a blunt, but anyway it's what and how I know for so long. 20 years exactly
ShartingInTheWind: A joint is straight bud in rolling papers, a Spliff is a joint that's been mixed with tobacco, a Blunt is made from bud in a thicker, tobacco leaf-like wrap (I think most are made from tobacco alternatives these days to dodge higher taxes on tobacco products)
GabberZuzie: Wow, in the Netherlands we use these terms completely different.
Joint is any weed mixed with or without tobacco. Spliff is just another synonym for a joint but mainly used by foreigners.
A blunt is pure and rolled in a blunt paper.
ShartingInTheWind: I come from a land down under, so it's interesting to see how it differs elsewhere
| 6 | 16.666667 | |
1671985073 | 1672057371 | t3_zv11n5 | t5_2to41 | 265 | jmcookie25: TIFU By Poking My Husband's Butt
My (27F) husband (26M) is an identical twin. To the untrained eye, they look pretty similar. But to the family, they are clearly different people. Or so I thought...
Last year, their older brother got himself and the twins matching onesies with hoods. When we were packing for the trip to the in-laws for Christmas, my husband packed his onesie.
Friday night, a few of us (my mother in law, my husband's twin's wife, and I) were sitting in the living room. Both twins and the older brother were not around.
So I'm just on my phone, when I hear someone come around the corner into the living room. I looked up and see my husband wearing his onesie. My MIL makes a comment about how these onesies are great and they made her year last year.
Husband passes through the living room and goes right past me into the dining room which is behind me. On the way through, I decided to poke his butt. I would have slapped it had my MIL not been sitting directly across me and would have seen it.
Maybe 10 seconds pass, and my MIL says "uh, are you sure that was the right husband?".
My heart instantly drops. I turn around and see two people behind me in the dining room. The twin in the onesie, and my husband sitting at the table on his laptop.
I had just poked my brother in law's butt.
I was pretty much MORTIFIED. Everyone, including me, was laughing so hard we were crying. I was probably beet red from embarrassment. I SWEAR that I saw my husband's face when the twin walked into the living room. I didn't even think twice because I knew my husband brought his onesie.
It was hilarious to look back on, but I think about what I could/would have done if my MIL wasn't in the room. Like I could have slapped his butt, or something even more inappropriate to do to your brother in law. All is well, at least it'll be a memorable Christmas.
TL;DR I accidentally poked my brother in law's butt instead of my husband's because they're twins.
fidesachates: I know that by poke, you mean you poked his ass checks and it was probably gentle. But my mind won’t let go of the image you jamming a finger up his asshole and yelling “Gotcha!”
jmcookie25: Hahahahaha, yes, it was a cheek poke.
joos1986: Can we have an idea of the other moves in your repertoire?
Just wondering what kinda scarring could've been had by BIL if his mom wasn't around.
jmcookie25: Full cheek grab or slap for sure.
I was sitting so I was limited on options as well.
joos1986: Yeah, definitely more mortifying
With the festive season it probably would've gone down without too much awkwardness and just added to the hilarity.
​
Life's too short.
Facepalms are like a high 5 for the face :')
| 6 | 44.166667 | |
1670039864 | 1670106332 | t3_zb6zwx | t5_2to41 | 61 | cinnamonsugarhoney: TIFU by training my dog to break open pill bottles and eat the contents.
I have a very good and smart boy named Biscuit who needs lots of mental stimulation each day. I have a few of those dog puzzles, a lick mat, etc. but I also like to give him certain common household items for extra stimulation. For example, I give him empty peanut butter containers when we finish the PB, and paper towel rolls after we use the last paper towel.
One time I realize that an empty supplement bottle that I was throwing away could be a really great puzzle for him. So I showed him the bottle and had him watch me drop the treats into the bottle through the flip top and close the flip top. He absolutely loved it and I was able to reuse the bottle as a puzzle for him a few times.
Here comes what I now realize was the FU. Last night, I went to bed and left a big orange bottle of antibiotics out on the coffee table. Biscuit slept in his crate like every other night. He's not a destructive dog, so no matter how much crap my husband and I leave out, he generally doesn't destroy, eat, or chew anything he's not supposed to, save an odd pen or sock. But this morning, he wasn't able to resist what I now realize must have looked exactly like the game I played with him with the supplement bottle... this time with 90 little (antibiotic) treats inside it.
So while my husband was taking a break from working upstairs early this AM, he discovered Biscuit under the couch, gnawing on the cracked bottle cap and lounging amidst a sea of 90 brightly-colored, mushy, dog-spit-soaked antibiotics. He yelled for me from the other room and that is how I started my day! Always good to wake up with a nice natural boost of adrenaline, right :)
(After counting and recounting the pills, thankfully none were missing. The antibiotic I was prescribed is also given to dogs, and Biscuit's dosage would be comparable to mine so any trace amounts of leaked powder from inside the capsules into his mouth wouldn't have hurt him.)
TL;DR - I gave my dog treats inside of a supplement bottle as a toy a few months ago. This morning he broke into a bottle of medicine thinking there must be treats inside and instead was rewarded with 90 antibiotic pills.
Jewish-Mom-123: My husband taught my dog to play tug of war, pulling at his hands wearing oven gloves…so he taught the dog to bite people who had gloves on.
KrankySilverFox: Dog training experts are highly against teaching dogs any kind of tug o war. It encourages aggression and just thing if that dog has a grip on a toddler or small animal. My husband went against my wishes and played tug o war with our dogs. The one day the female caught a baby rabbit and shook it to death thinking she was playing. I had to pry the dead baby bunny out of her jaws. My husband was all upset and freaked out. I got so mad at him saying “what the hell did you expect?” YOU Taught them this game.
Jewish-Mom-123: Agreed. On the other hand killing the rabbits in my garden is part of what I pay the kibble bill for. As is barking at mailmen/delivery people, trespassers/hunters/vandals and the occasional guest. My dogs shut up when I tell them “Enough” but I will never understand people who don’t want their dogs to bark. That’s why I have dogs.
KrankySilverFox: If you want them to do that it’s. Fine my point is if you DON’T want them to do it don’t teach them that it’s a fun game.
| 5 | 12.2 | |
1670034097 | 1670044049 | t3_zb54xt | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU I accidentally left way before my friends when we were supposed to walk together
[deleted]
ninpho2246: Walking so fast where sound cant keep up is pretty selfish. Walking so fast girls can't keep up. How can you get the cutie if you zoom past the flowers?
3sperr: I only walk near that fast. Usually my average speed is 6kph but I only maintain 7kph on really good spee days. Anyways, I only walk fast when I'm by myself. If I'm walking with a group, I walk to that group's pace.
Was all this my fault? Am I done for?
ninpho2246: You walk that fast because you have been alone for a long time and old habits Are tough to break. Especially survival ones, but it seems like you can change and let down that guard now.
If your group left ya after this they aren't very cool anyways, which is their choice. You should be safe for another week.
3sperr: >You should be safe for another week.
But thats not certain...They were probably shit-talking me thinking that I was a selfish dick who didnt care about them. I'd just go back to the guy who has no friends. I fucking hate myself for this...WHY WAS I SUCH AN IDIOT?? I WISH MY EARS FUCKING HEARD IT MANNN I CANT RELAX I JUST CANT BE AT PEACE
ninpho2246: Nothing in life is certain, it's in death that things are certain.
Remember I said you were selfish and I will shit talk about you nothing you can do about it so it's not even worth the energy to fight me, I'm the Energizer bunny. It's okay to be an idiot for a moment, what is remembered is how you handle it. Handle it well and show humility and be truthful and not caring past the truth. If they can't accept the truth let them live in ignorance their not worth the time.
| 6 | 1 | |
1670042932 | 1670078732 | t3_zb7xy9 | t5_2to41 | 262 | sanguinius4life: TIFU by eating spicy chips and forgetting.
My Gf is very outgoing and is usually the one to be "spicy" but lately ive been trying to be a little bit more spontaneous. So we decided to go to a dispensary near us and get some AAAA kush.
We get some weed go to the munchies store PRE BAKING and get some munchies and drinks. We go home and decide to watch a movie on our bed while we smoke and munch out.
Now i smoke pretty regularly but this space wizard strain she bought kicked me into space. So im stoned very much into the bed when i start eating. And as i eat i notice my gfs ass is looking hnnnnnnnnn fine. I start to make my way over and to get her into the mood i try going down on her while she was watching the movie. At first age was into it before she donkey kicked me into near death screaming "IT BURRRRNSS!!!!!"
I forgot i wad eating jalapeno cheddar cheetos while watching the movie..
TL:DR Forgot i was eating spicy chips whilr stoned and went down on my gf
ThePeeOnPress: Oopsies. But jalapeno cheddar cheetohs? I like em even tho this is the first time I'm hearing about them.
always the last to know.
whorgans: They’re really good. I used to eat them every day in high school. And I don’t even like jalapeño flavor, it’s the worst flavor of spicy. But those chips? Great.
ThePeeOnPress: I'm completely addicted to kettle cut jalapeño chips! Yum.
Also: fiery hot Doritos. The worst thing Taco Bell ever
did was to take the fiery taco and crunch wrap off the menu.
whorgans: You should try the Cheetos! They’re really good. Not spicy (unless you get them on genitals) but they’re good
ThePeeOnPress: Duly Noted.
ThePeeOnPress: probably couldn't hurt to try just once tho. hmm.
| 7 | 37.428571 | |
1670044971 | 1670051784 | t3_zb8k67 | t5_2to41 | 10 | GameingWithDe23: TIFU By looking at my sisters Instagram messages
[removed]
NungaFakeer: 10 years from today this will be a story everyone's (on the inside is) going to laugh about.
AnOnYmouSFuck14422:
>10 years from today this will be a story everyone's (on the inside is) going to laugh about.
I'm already laughing at him for being a snitch and then making a reddit post to tell us he feels guilty about being a snitch.
NungaFakeer: But sir, on the other hand it's his fuck up which is already contributing to our happiness. What's wrong with a little positive reinforcement?
AnOnYmouSFuck14422:
>But sir, on the other hand it's his fuck up which is already contributing to our happiness. What's wrong with a little positive reinforcement?
Nothing is wrong with positive reinforcement. I just think his fuck up and the fact that he is feeling guilty about it is funny.
| 5 | 2 | |
1671987497 | 1671989231 | t3_zv1sp8 | t5_2to41 | 11 | onceler-for-prez: TIFU by sending an extremely personal email to a podcast that had a very slim chance of being my big break
Technically this wasn't right this moment today, this was very recently, but I'm still extremely pissed that I did it.
It started when I had innocently sent some fan mail to a podcast watching through an animated TV show and talking about its fandom- that sometimes got pretty wild. (No, it wasn't My Little Pony, and I don't want to namedrop the show so nobody harasses the podcast about it.) I'd basically just noted that I liked the podcast, I made a couple comments about the show that related to the podcast episode, and I'd left it at that. They responded very positively- saying they thought I had some cool ideas, and that they'd love to hear from me again.
For context, I'm autistic, and terrible at telling whether or not people are being genuine or just saying things to be nice. In hindsight, that may have been what it was, but I didn't know. I sent another email commenting about an idea I had for my own podcast, and one of the hosts responded very positively and said they were interested in guesting. This was no wimpy little podcast either: I was basically rubbing my hands together and twiddling my moustache like a nineteen-twenties silent film villain, because the podcast had managed to pull in multiple voice actors, crew members, and even *the creator of the show*. And for more context, I've always wanted to get into the animation field. I should have just said thank you, and left it at that, but no.
I fucked up.
I decided to send another email, since they wanted to hear from me again, but this email was sent at night. When I was very tired. And very, very autistic, and very, *very*, bad at boundaries. I lose basically any semblance of a filter past eight at night. The email started off normal, but then I absolutely lost it. I was delving into some context as to why I wasn't a fan of a ship, pretty casual stuff. But then I forgot who the hell I was even sending the long-winded email to, and went into this incredibly long, trauma-dumping rant about my father's suicide, my abusive grandmother, my financial situation as a young child and how all these parts interconnected with the best friend I had as a youngun that I thought also committed suicide but I found out was alive years later through his grandfather's car blog (long story.) This wasn't even the only off-topic rant in the email. Needless to say, it was barely comprehensible, I fucked up, and it was embarrassing.
But I still decided to hit send, for reasons I don't remember. It would have been best to just leave it at that and forget about it forever, but one day I thought to myself, "hey what happened to that email I sent?"
Reading over it made me cringe, and I sent an apology email, and that probably made it worse. I can't stop thinking about the alternate timeline where I've made my way up the cartoon podcast hierarchy and am rubbing elbows with well-known industry professionals. And I can't stop thinking about how uncomfortable I must have made the podcast hosts. :(.
TL;DR: I sent a very long-winded and embarrassing email to some podcast hosts that knew important people, but they never contacted me again and I had made a fool of myself.
Phydud: There's no shame in trying
onceler-for-prez: I guess so 
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1671986807 | 1672089806 | t3_zv1kyf | t5_2to41 | 197 | JJJJJIm-123131314: TIFU by listening to my friends after overhearing them
TIFU by listening to a conversation about me.
I(F20) have been dating J(M21) for 2 years and our relationship is healthy or at least was. J is a great boyfriend, He is very caring, Communicates well, and never did anything that I was uncomfortable with(Needed to be said for context). J is very touchy and I think he likes breasts a bit more than your average person. He always grabbed mine and whenever he had the opportunity to hold them he would, Whether it was while cuddling or other times and I didn't have an issue with it. A couple of weeks ago I spoke to my friends about how he does this and they were questioning it but seemed to have no issue with it until I went to the restroom and on my way back I heard them talking behind my back saying that he is a pervert, Weird, and just seems to be with me for my body. I acted like I heard nothing and went on with my day but as the days went on I started to overthink it and started to slowly be uncomfortable with the idea of my boyfriend touching me like that. So I ended up stopping him anytime he tried touching me by taking his hands off me and after stopping him a couple times he ended up not touching me at all anymore. At first I found it fine because although he seemed sad about it he still respected me and stopped. But him respecting me and not forcing it on me made me realize he wasn't in any way the way my friends described him. Last week I tried to get him to be touchy with me again by initiating myself and putting his hands on me while we were relaxing and what not but he would take his hands off instantly and I could tell he just wasn't comfortable anymore. He still was loving and caring but he just was not comfortable with touching me anymore because he felt that he used to touch me too much and now feels uncomfortable about it. Now I feel guilty and annoyed because I let other people's words get to me and I ruined what was a perfect relationship for me. I also feel like he is planning to break up with me because of how distant he has been getting lately, When I confronted him about it he just told me not to worry and the typical answers you get when you don't wanna talk about something. I made him feel like he was perverted when in reality he never pushed me to do anything and always talked about everything before he would do anything with me.
I have no one to blame but myself but it still hurts. I stopped being friends with these girls and I am trying to improve but I don't think my boyfriend feels comfortable with me anymore. J, I'm sorry, You deserve better.
​
TL;DR
I overhead my friends talking about my relationship leading me to overthink and ruining my something that was perfect.
Vast_Reflection: You need to tell him what happened, and apologize ASAP
[deleted]: Yeah, that will end the relationship instantly….’so I overheard my friends saying you’re a pervert and I believed them’.
busstopthoughts: Well you obviously wouldn't phrase it like *that*!
OP, you say something like "I like it when you do that, but it was a little too much for me for a bit. I'm glad you respect me enough to stop and be cautious, other guys have been rude or disrespectful about my boundaries! I'll let you know if it's too much again, but please go back to touching them when we cuddle/makeout/(whatever)"
Leave out your friends and address your actual concerns: you were afraid he was being disrespectful, but it's a thing you actually miss and you want to trust him that he will stop when you say stop, so trust you to start when you say start.
moeman32: Her actual concerns were her friends perceiving him as a pervert and being easily swayed.
Be honest with ur partner. Heard something u shouldn't and it got into your head only for you to realise it was stupid.sounds riskier but in actual fact as a guy I'd respect that more than a beautiful lie because you still aren't addressing why it was suddenly a problem which is why hes now distant.
If A is a problem maybe B and C are too so I just won't do anything now. So no, address it properly
basedPlay: Her thoughts and reasons are private. She is allowed to be influenced, especially by people she thought to be friends. There is no way people are always 100% transparent on their motivations why they behave the way they do. I might even argue a lot of people don't even know or aren't honest with themselves about it half of the time. Either way explaining every detail on why or how you got to a certain point if view doesn't really add much to most relationships. Being honest about what you feel and want are way more important.
If these thoughts bring her to new ideas on how she would like to be treated it his her right to make that clear. It seems to me she did so in a polite way. Maybe a bit clumsy at most, but hey... she's young.
Also changing your mind, especially after experiencing some thing, is not to be frowned upon. Trying to set straight what you feel has gone awry is the way to go. But in my point of view it is discussing the changes of their relationship dynamics. Discussing preferences and needs, boundaries inhibitions, or lack there of and finding a mutual sense of how to go forward from there.
Can be difficult, but I'd say worth a try.
moeman32: Thanks for all the hyperbole. In this instance op should be truthful as they know the machinations of what happened and it will alleviate a lot of stress on the partners behalf.
Shes allowed to change her mind but telling someone to lie by ommissiin to the one person they should be able to tell anything is a child's approach to a fuck up. Grow up.
| 7 | 28.142857 | |
1670045771 | 1670071711 | t3_zb8sdq | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my reddit account found.
[deleted]
MidnightPersona: Maybe don't get physical with someone you describe as a toxic person? That seems like the best bet.
dontrecognisemeagain: Oh that was like an experiment of mine to know if i can get physical w someone and not get attached
| 3 | 1 | |
1671990696 | 1672827537 | t3_zv2uhr | t5_2to41 | 18,846 | thuckyou: TIFU by repeatedly shooting my boss in the head
This happened a few days ago.
Went paintballing with my office colleagues as an end of year celebration. In a game, I ran to the edge of the arena hoping to flank the other team. Two people on the other team had the same idea, and we found ourselves in a stand off behind some wooden cover. I shot the first person quickly, and they called their hit and went away. It was then between me and one other guy. I am going to call him Dave.
Instead of wearing a full helmet, Dave wore only a mask which left the rear and top side of his head uncovered. Unluckily for him, the top of head was visible to me through a slit in his wooden cover.
I considered for a moment what to do. Do I shoot him in the head and cause immense pain and agony? Do I wait for a shot against a more protected part of his body?
In the end I thought I only need to shoot him once for him and I to be on our way. And by wearing a mask and not a helmet, he full well knew what could happen. So I steadied my aim and shot him through the gap in the wood clean onto the top of his head.
I heard a scream "ah, you bastard!"
But he didn't call the hit. He didn't even move from his position. So I shouted "call your hit" but he didn't respond. I am sure he heard me because I saw his head turn slightly when I spoke, but he didn't call his hit.
So I shot him again. And again. And again. In the exact same spot on the top of his head. With each shot he let out a grunt, but did not call his hit. It was kind of satisfying actually, seeing the paintballs explode on the top of his head.
At this point his head is a yellow/red paintballing mess, but yet he still does not call his hit. Eventually a marshal comes nearby and I tell him that he does not call his hit but as you can see that he is covered in paint. The marshal tells me to shoot him once more to see it for himself. So right through that slit in the wood, I shoot him in the exact same spot on the top of his head. He doesn't call his hit and the marshal pulls him out and escorts him away.
I then see him after the game, crying his eyes out holding a bag of frozen peas against his head walking toward the car park. Turns out it was my line manager. My boss. I'm not sure whether to tell him it was me that shot him after the Christmas holidays.
TL:DR repeatedly shot someone in the head with a paintball gun, causing them lots of pain, and then found out it was my boss.
EDIT1: did not expect this post to blow up
To those of you worried that I did serious damage to him... he is mostly fine I think. He has a sore head and was quite embarrassed from crying in front of his staff. It was your basic rent-to-the-public paintball gun that did not possess any real dangerous power behind it. Though getting shot in the exact same spot over and over probably increased the pain quite a bit.
Now some have said he will recognise my voice...I didn't think about that. Fuck. I am sure my voice from within a paintball helmet at a distance from behind some cover was heard, but probably not super recognisable given the circumstances. I don't think he really got a good look at me either so I think I am in the clear.
To be sure, I just checked my calendar for the coming work week and can see my boss has scheduled a meeting for everyone that attended the paintball event. Depending on how that goes, I may post a further update in the near future.
senorbozz: Was he continuing to play or were you just shooting his now lifeless, supine corpse?
DKBadmintonPatriots: By not calling the hit, he continued to play, so OP shot him again and again to get him to call the hit = stop playing.
CptUnderpants-: Nobody seems to have mentioned the possibility of his boss having a medical issue which prevented him calling hit.
therift289: The first time he got hit, he yelled "ah, you bastard!"
CptUnderpants-: Your point?
therift289: The boss was able to vocalize clearly, and chose not to call the hit.
CptUnderpants-: And yet I can think of several medical reasons which would allow that first hit and yet not result in a similar response for following hits.
Edit: I find it hilarious that people are so intent on hating the boss in this story that they're downvoting the suggestion that it could be medical. Feel sorry for those with medical issues unless they have money and/or authority, then screw'em! /s
Bowdensaft: What exact medical condition allows someone to yell out three syllables, and yet not yell out "I'm hit", which is only two syllables?
Edit" in fact, "hit" is only one syllable. Or he could put his hands up, stand up, and walk off.
CptUnderpants-: PTSD and post-concussion syndrome to name just two.
Bowdensaft: "I have PTSD, paintball sounds like a really good idea"
Occam's Razor favours the explanation that he was embarrassed or cheating. Without any positive evidence, all of this mental condition talk is just supposition and stirring arguments for no reason.
CptUnderpants-: Actually, the simplest explanation given the lack of verbal or physical response from the subsequent hits is there was a medical issue of some kind as it is not the kind of response you would expect normally. A normal response would something audible and an attempt to stop being hit. There was neither.
Bowdensaft: No, Occam's Razor demands the fewest assumptions, not the simplest explanation. You assume he has a condition that just so happens to give him exactly enough time to say three syllables but cuts him off from saying or doing anything else to inform OP as to his distress. I assume nothing.
He did give an audible response, and refused to do anything else despite ample opportunity and the clear ability to do something to remedy his situation. Making as few assumptions as possible, he doesn't have any conditions and was merely being stupid or trying to cheat, both of which happen all the time in paintball. This is all we can know without detailed medical information, which isn't necessary for a funny Internet story.
CptUnderpants-: Something clearly changed between the first hit and the subsequent hits because the response changed. He did nothing to avoid further hits. He was crying after. Not normal responses for a healthy individual. That doesn't fit into your narrative.
Bowdensaft: Embarrassment, trying to cheat or sheer pig-headedness. All I'm saying is that not assuming a condition given the information that we have is the most reasonable option, I haven't created any narrative. Adding in assumed information would be creating a narrative.
AsyncUhhWait: You mean that conclusion required the least amount of mental work to give you an answer.
The most thoughtful response would have been to check if the odd behavior could possibly be some one off incident or some issue they’ve hidden.
Being wrong about them cheating is no biggie. Shoot them again they’ll be fine.
Being wrong about them being *not* being in a medical condition when that actually are can be pretty tragic. Idk why people get so defensive when others ask to add just a few more steps to their thought process.
Not to mention, other day everybody here was talking about how sad it is that people would just drop during games outside of professional sports (referring to that nfl player that dropped during their game on tv)
Bowdensaft: You can check afterwards, sure, but you can't base your life around the worst outcomes of every action. Example: if I drive, I might kill a whole family by accident. If I never drive again, I could either rely on public transport to get me to and from work or try to work from home. No biggie in the grand scheme of things, but I can't change my whole way of living because of a potentially bad outcome.
| 17 | 1,108.588235 | |
1671990475 | 1671994077 | t3_zv2rww | t5_2to41 | 9 | ThrowBengayAway: TIFU mistaking Bengay for lube
TLDR; Well, the title.
Throwaway account. TLDR; TIFU (well, technically my wife; also, last night) by mistaking Bengay for lube.
So, my wife and I are trying to conceive. Those that have gone through this know that it is a lot of tracking dates and cycles and planning sex in the correct windows. Can take the romance and intimacy out of sex a bit. Additionally, we just moved to a new apartment a couple of weeks go. Setting up our new place has been going slow as we were both also heavily occupied with our respective jobs, leaving even less sexy time.
Now, that brings us to yesterday. Wife was feeling a little frisky last night and this wasn't baby-making sex. I too wasn't going to let an opportunity pass !! As things get hot and heavy, my wife reaches for the tube of lube on the nightstand. Point to note here is that I twisted my ankle a couple of days back while moving a couple of boxes and had applied Bengay. But it was left on the nightstand, and neither of us had bothered to move it. I think you can guess where this is going. So, my wife reaches out and grabs what she assumes is the lube and generously applies it to herself and rubs it in. A few seconds later, she starts feeling a burning sensation down there. We quickly check what we applied, only to realize our mistake.
She quickly cleaned herself up with water. Thankfully, nothing too severe and the burning reduced after an hour or so (reddit and google to our rescue). Suffice to say, the mood was ruined. But we did manage to get a good laugh out of it. Over the years we've read a few of these FUs on this subreddit and always wondered how could people end up in those situations. Well, now we know and we are one of them.
OkVolume1: That's one way to get a fire crotch.
miata509: I put nasal spray into my eyes thinking it was contact solution....
| 3 | 3 | |
1670052847 | 1670055574 | t3_zbaqsq | t5_2to41 | 147 | AnAltNamedSusan: TIFU trying to befriend local wildlife.
This story begins many many moons ago on Thanksgiving. Back then I was a typical moody teenager around 13-14 and was desperately looking to be special in any way possible. Think every basic, teen witch/wiccan, hot topic goth starter pack and that was basically me. We're all sitting around in the living room having dinner when we look out the window and see that a deer with a decent set of antlers has somehow gotten stuck in our backyard. It isn't a terribly bright deer either, since it keeps trying to hop over the fence, but is far too close and trying to leap over it at point blank range (not sure if that makes sense, but that's the best way i can describe it.) Everyone watches on with mild amusement as it repeatedly continues a loop of failing to jump over the fence for about 5 minutes.
It's at this point that I decide that I'm going to befriend this wild deer and guide it out of the backyard safely. What was my plan for accomplishing this, you may ask? Well, I was just going to pull a wild thornberrys and just walk up to it slowly, put my hand on it, tell it everything is gonna be OK, then calmly walk my new animal companion out to safety, of course! Foolproof right? Surely I have a special connection with animals because I want to, right?
I make my way out into the backyard and at this point nobody is trying to stop me. With my family either being too buzzed to care, or thinking I'll chicken out and waiting to see what will happen. I start inching my way closer and closer and the deer keep moving away trying to jump over the fence. As I start getting within roughly 10 feet if it is when my mom abd a few others start urging me to come inside, yet I press on since my stupid teenage brain has decided I'm the main character. Within 5 feet it turns around and runs at me and the next thing I know I'm on the ground with a searing pain on my eye and my torso, and finding it increasingly difficult to breathe. Just an awful mix of absolute terror and pain.
It's at this point that I start fading in and out just mostly just remembering my parents frantically trying to rush me to the ER. To keep the story short, I end up waking up in the hospital, end up finding out that when the deer rushed at me it ended up puncturing one if my lungs and lacerating my left eye, and a myriad of other internal injuries the doctor and my parents stressing to me multiple times that I was lucky to be alive since I had lost a lot of blood from the severe injuries. I ended up losing the injured eye, and spent a good while in the hospital recovering. Needless to say, the whole experience and the next few years were rough to say the least, but I'm glad I'm able to tell the story now. I'm not sure where to end the story so I'll end it here.
TL;DR: I tried to befriend a wild animal and ended up losing an eye and nearly dying in the process.
ironman730: An eye for an eye…
AnAltNamedSusan: Oh, deer....
NungaFakeer: Put some ibex on it.
| 4 | 36.75 | |
1671991572 | 1672054821 | t3_zv34wu | t5_2to41 | 223 | whitelitterbox: TIFU by sucking my boyfriend for the first time
Hello everyone, this post is about how I fucked up when I was once sucking my boyfriend for the very first time.
Throwaway account since some friends know my reddit username.
Just for context, after texting with a guy i met from reddit for a couple of months, we decided to meet eachother.
When we met, we decided that it would be better to go to a hotel because I lived with my family back then, so we wanted to have more privacy.
When we were finally alone we decided to get dirty, so I started sucking him. I was not a very experienced person at the time, so I was not a pro at sucking dick. However, I was putting a lot of effort on pleasing him and I decided to try something that we had both talked about before we met eachother: deepthroat.
I go deep once, slowly, everything's fine. And then I think "Why don't I do it quicker?". I sucked him deep and quicker. And while I was doing it, I throw up on my boyfriend's dick. All I could see was puke and my lunch food on my boyfriend's dick and belly. Plus, on the sheets of my hotel bed.
To make matters worse, instead of acting upon what happened, I just laid my head on my boyfriends legs in defeat, basically trapping him partially covered in my puke, until he asked "could you please get off me so i can go to the bathroom to clean myself".
I was embarrassed by this and my boyfriend was grossed out, so I was just so afraid that he would want to leave me because I pucked on him for the first time we were sexual together. And I obviously had to ask the hotel staff to change the sheets.
As I go back to the room after it was clean, I passed by the lady who cleaned it. She straight up looked at me and my boyfriend and laughed and I assume she knew what had happened. What a great start.
TL;DR: Met my online boyfriend for the first time, I decided to suck him and threw up on him.
Vast_Reflection: Meh.
I mean I did the same but it was with a fwb that I barely knew and he didn’t have extra sheets and had to wake up early and he later told me he was considering never talking to me again after that.
It’s embarrassing at the time but it’s fine long term
alucardou: People need to stop being so easily upset. If you deepthroat you might get puke. If you do anal you might get poop. Don't put your dick in if the consequences are going to yuck you out.
OdesseyOfDarkness: The stuff that comes out of the vagina can yuck you out for decades.
Edit: the answer was kids
alucardou: Probably best for you and your future partners tbh.
| 5 | 44.6 | |
1671991097 | 1672006480 | t3_zv2z09 | t5_2to41 | 103 | Healthy_Coughs: TIFU by leaving a card full of cash on yhe wrapping paper
So Christmas was a blast family was fun and I got some lovely gifts. One of them was from my granny who drew a picture on a card and put money in the card and taped it to the wrapping paper of the present she gave me.
I unwrapped the present and left the card on the paper. I got a call from my girlfriend so left to chat with her. Came back and the paper was gone. I asked my mom if she threw it out and she said probably if it looked like garbage I threw it. But she can't remember when I describe it. I dig threw 3 bin bags and nothing resembling the paper at all. Back and forth apparently I'm shouting when I'm asking her about it. Eventually ask her if she threw any wrapping paper in the fire and her answer was yes she did. She is now angry and upset with me for not taking the money out or taking the card off the paper because she says that I should know in this house she cleans. I'm obviously upset about this and she starts screaming at me that she's sorry she wants to wake up to a clean house and everything and that she's sorry she's not a slob that can leave junk and find it tomorrow. I'm now upset on my bed writing this and she's upset vacuuming downstairs. My poor grannies card she drew for me and the money inside is ashes. Mother is angry with me and I am sad with me. Oh well merry Christmas
TLDR Mother threw away wrapping paper that had a card full of cash. My bad for not knowing she would burn it.
Leighgion: Wait, you’re telling me you knowingly bypassed a card you knew to have money in it to open the gift?
Healthy_Coughs: Yeah, always find it weird to open the money present in front of others.
Leighgion: Fair enough, but man, not to rub it in, but you don’t leave that shit lying around attached to waste paper.
Healthy_Coughs: It felt foolish when I did it. But it is what it is. Learnt a lot from it.
| 5 | 20.6 | |
1671992338 | 1672355130 | t3_zv3dt5 | t5_2to41 | 12 | StoopidZoidberg: TIFU by undergoing surgery and wimping out (long)
I havent had the best of luck with my health this year and had two surgeries. The first one was earlier in spring and the second one just a couple of days ago, on the 23rd of december, this time for sinuses. I am usually a bit talkative in these kinds of situations, trying to be pleasant and easy-going, plus it helps me relax a little. I have been balding since 18, but ironically have Robin Williams-levels of hair in the rest of the body so everytime RNs pull the venoclysis I end up with bald spots from the thousands of hairs that get pulled. They always apologize, so I respond by joking with them and try to engage in friendly banter.
Anywho, I go in, the docs do their thing and I wake up in recovery. I see my recovery RN checking monitors, anotating in the laptop, asking me how I feel, do I know my name, do I know where I am, etc. I ask her what time was it, how long have I been in recovery, etc. The conversation starts going as I am getting sober.
She starts pulling the EKG electrodes and off come the chest and stomach hairs. She starts apologizing and I start joking with her, saying that it was ok and that she doesnt need to apologize and that I was overdue for my monthly waxing anyways. I ask her if she can call Anesthesia back to get topped off with propofol before she starts pulling the IV though. She chuckles but remains professional.
She walks away to help another RN with his patient that was having a bad time. She returns after a while and starts pulling the IV and I get another wax job. It is painful, and I squirm a little and she again starts apologizing. I tell her she doesn't need to apologize, she's just doing her job and that I'm being a crybaby. She's now carefully taking the tapes off, this time using alcohol pads, etc. I tell her that I appreciate trying to minimize the pain from the hair pulling.
We continue chatting about her job, how long she's been doing it (she is definitely younger than I am), etc. She asks me what I do for a living since I speak the lingo. I tell her what I do and explain that my mom was an OBGYN nurse for 27 years, so I picked up a few things here and there (I learned about the birds and the bees from her books, LOL). I tell her I know how brutal this profession is and can be, especially when you have to deal with smartasses like myself. So I thanked her for her patience and for all the work they do, especially during the initial stages of COVID. She tells me how chaotic it was. More joking and friendly banter goes back and forth. She's still pulling the tapes off, then the conversation then goes something like this:
"sorry Nurse, I dont have my glasses on, mind if I ask your name?".
She replies "my name is <name> mr <my last name>"
"well thank you Nurse <last name> you're doing a great job. Next time I need an IV pulled, I'll ask if you're available"
"oh I'll make sure you get my number, you can call me any time"
I smile at her, thinking I'm still delirious from the anesthesia (I'm not). She's done with the IV, goes to her laptop and finishes her Powercharting. She then starts closing the long curtains around the bed. She stays inside the curtains with me, and I start changing into my clothes. Now, I'm very comfortable being naked and talking "medical things" with medical professionals, so I think nothing about it. I know she's making sure I dont fall and break my neck.
I put on my sweatpants and my button-up shirt on, then she helps me put on the hoodie I wore to the hospital with great care. I do have a half my face covered in bloody gauze after all.
She pulls the curtains back after she helps me get on the wheelchair, and goes off to put her thick coat on. I ask if she's cold and says that it's cold outside. I tell her she doesn't need go all the way out, and she replies she needs to make sure I make it to the car safely.
My mom circles around with the car, my nurse wheels me next to the car and wishes me merry christmas and speedy recovery. She extends her hand to me but instead of shaking her hand, I gently take it, turn it and I gesture as if I was kissing her hand.
Now, before y'all get mad at me, I was raised in a very conservative and traditional family, where kissing the hand is a sign of respect. My parents do this to me, and I to them. In my mind I was showing my appreciation and respect. My mom yells at me saying not to get her hand bloody.
My nurse smiles gently at me, I get on the car and take off. Kinda wish I would have given her my number...
**TL;DR: young, cute nurse flirted with me, I didn't give her my number. I'm a dumbass**
Water_designr: Was she flirting or was she just doing her job? Lol
StoopidZoidberg: I questioned that for several hours, while high on vicodin. I think she was definitely being professional at first, but I have never had a nurse help me get dressed, not even my mother did that when I was growing up, lol.
AccomplishedTheThing: I'm a post op nurse. She was absolutely not flirting. Sinus surgery can sometimes cause balance issues (due to sinuses connections to the ears) or if you change positions too quickly it can leave you seeing stars. That plus anesthesia means I don't trust you to get changed on your own. Unless you have been up and moving prior to getting dress (like walking to and from the bathroom), no one gets dressed in a room alone under my watch. Either family helps or I do if family isn't there. Too much paperwork if you fall.
I can almost guarantee she ran back and immediately washed her hands for about 8 minutes after you kissed her hand. I certainly would.
StoopidZoidberg: Well, I didnt, just gestured. I knew it was gross and a breach of personal space.
Thanks for chiming in, thanks for taking care of your patients. Certainly appreciate y'all
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1670058441 | 1670115382 | t3_zbc4mc | t5_2to41 | 52 | bbraddock29: TIFU by breaking no contacts
So me and my best friend tried dating. After a month, she told me that not only she is not ready for a relationship, but also what she feels for me is mostly friendly. We decided to remain friends. I asked for some space and going no contacts for a bit, because before starting again to spend time with her, I need to digest and accept things. She was fine with it, said it's the best choice. Problem is I extremely miss her and I miss talking to her and yesterday I broke no contacts after she asked in our uni group if someone had some notes. And after that we started talking. Luckily she stopped answering, saying that I need to take time. (Even tho now I am afraid she forget about me and about the fact we used to text and talk for hours)
TLDR: I broke no contacts with my best friend that I dated for 1 month
ForwardHealth775: Same. Dated my best friend for a bit before we became bf/gf. After 2 years she says she wants to take a step back and reassess so we did. Tried to court her again but after a while she admitted that she only now sees me as a friend and wants to see other people. I miss her dearly but i am still going for the NC. not sure if I'll ever be friends with her again tho as i can no longer separate the intimate feelings and platonic feelings. Goodluck to you
Mission-Sail-5692: How do you date someone for 2 years and then realize you want to be just friends
ForwardHealth775: Thats the thought that makes me angry. Some people tell me that it's normal though. That it's unfortunate but people can change their minds at any time. Idk
moeman32: No its not normal. Its actually rather shitty. She felt she was settling. Sorry to say. Youre better off tbh
| 5 | 10.4 | |
1670062432 | 1670090199 | t3_zbd48c | t5_2to41 | 294 | HKD49: TIFU by not choosing my words more wisely
Today it was my turn to wake up and take care of my two-year old son, while Mrs. Wife would sleep in a little.
The night before we had a gaming evening with friends as we love board games. One of the games we played is called 'Secret-Hitler'. Of course we did not clean up after us and all the games were lying around on the table.
Back to today. While I was making breakfast and didn't pay attention to my little copy for a split second, he slipped away on his quest to find anything he could destroy. I heard how he opened the game boxes and I said with all the wisdom I could muster at this early hour: "Son, leave the 'Hitler-game' alone!" He replied: "No! I want Hitler!"
I knew instantly that I fucked up... I took the games somewhere safe all the while he was screaming and crying "I WANT HITLER!"
He wouldn't stop to say that name and now I'm scared to go outside with him! And yes, we live in Germany where this kind of thing is taken a little more serious than in other countries...
TL,DR: I'm afraid I'm raising a Ultra-Conservative.
Old_Magician_6563: I knew the Germans still pretend.
HKD49: Sadly I can't follow you. Please explain.
Old_Magician_6563: You’re playing secret hitler.
HKD49: The game is very entertaining. The only downside is you need so many friends... I think it's best with 8+ players. You know the game?
CouldntThinkOfClever: Based on their reaction they probably not. I always get shot as a liberal though
HKD49: Ha! It's funny when you execute the wrong person.
| 7 | 42 | |
1671993999 | 1672027603 | t3_zv3x39 | t5_2to41 | 15 | historyhasitsionu: TIFU by letting my whole family read what I was writing
I (17M/NB) have been planning a book for five years and have just started writing it. I started writing it in the journal my brother got me for Christmas because I thought it would be fun to say I wrote a whole novel by hand.
Last night, I read my work out loud to my dad. He LOVED it and told me to write more. Today, we went out for Christmas lunch and a lot of my family was asking to read it so I let them because I was really happy with my writing. Now they're all saying they can't wait to read it when it's published.
The problem? I'm gay. The main couple in the book is gay but we haven't gotten up to any gay scenes yet. I'm giving my whole (slightly) conservative family a young adult, gay, high fantasy series to read.
Tldr; let my conservative family read the gay fantasy book I'm writing
Malevolent_Mangoes: I’m confused. You’re male or non-binary?
historyhasitsionu: Both. Male *and* nonbinary.
Malevolent_Mangoes: Oh, you’re referring to your physical sex and gender, my bad. It flew over my head lol.
historyhasitsionu: No, I am not. I am referring to my gender. I do not refer to my sex on the internet and I find disturbing to do so.
Malevolent_Mangoes: Uh hate to break it to you, but non-binary is literally not binary and male is. They’re contradictory to each other.
You can’t be non-binary and male just as you can’t be non-binary and female. That’s the entire point of non-binary, to not identify as binary.
Also, referring to one’s physical sex is not at all disturbing. That’s like saying you’re disturbed by someone describing their blonde hair. It’s stupid because it’s just a fact about that person.
historyhasitsionu: Uh hate to break it to you but your basic understanding different labels doesn't mean you can choose my identity.
Most people would use demiboy to describe my gender but that isn't the label that aligns best with me and I don't feel like that is the right word to describe me.
Also, bigender does exist and can be used by people, just because you haven't heard of someone using it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Thank you for trying to mansplain my own identity to me.
Malevolent_Mangoes: > Uh hate to break it to you but your basic understanding different labels doesn't distract my identity.
You didn’t even use the word distract or mansplain correctly 💀
You’re young and probably just figuring yourself out, so I’m just gonna move on from this conversation. Good luck with your conservative family.
historyhasitsionu: Also, I'm guessing you're old and stuck in the same mindset you've had since 2013
moeman32: Approaching as friend:
Binary
Male or female. It derives its name from computer binary 1s and 0s.
Non binary
Spectrum of gender including male identifying but gender fluid etc.
You are 17. Im 37. I worked hard to protest changes that were going to make your life harder .
You might want to rethink the aggressive tone OP you can identify as male physically while being gender fluid non binary, but you can't possibly be a 1 or 0 in the infinite number of pi that is non binary. It legitimately isn't defined that way.
But good on you for writing and by hand too. :)
Bauticba: Unrelated but:
Binary just means "composed of two things" it isn't really derivated from computers
moeman32: Understood but trying to be simplistically relevant :)
| 12 | 1.25 | |
1670067993 | 1670222463 | t3_zbehh1 | t5_2to41 | 14,305 | IMightJustQuit: TIFU when I shared the news about my job
A few days ago I (19m) started working at Adult World. My first job ever. I shared the news with a few friends, but decided not to tell my family because I was convinced my parents would not approve of me working at a sex shop. Little did I know that my sister was hooking up with one of my friends behind my back. Needless to say, my sister eventually found out about my job. In an attempt to embarrass me, she showed up at the store while I was working. Mission accomplished. I was embarrassed. To add insult to injury, she acted like a customer and asked me for information about random sex toys she pretended to be interested in. I played along because the manager was keeping an eye on me. For the record, siblings of the opposite sex should never touch the same butt plug, especially if there's eye contact.
When my sister was done playing games, I begged her not to tell our parents. She promised. I should've stopped running my mouth at that moment, but I had to know who talked. I made her tell me, which pressured her to come clean about her relationship with my friend. She got upset and left. The following day, aka yesterday, my mom appeared in the store. Of course my sister didn't keep her mouth. Probably out of spite. My mom wanted to know why she had to find out from someone else about my job. I said I didn't think she would approve. My mom said she approved, as long as I could get her a discount. The fuck, mother. I thought she was joking until I had to bag some of the products she literally purchased.
If my dad shows up as well, since it seems to be a family thing, then I might fucking fire myself.
TL:DR Got a job at a sex shop. Wanted to keep it a secret from my family. Failed. My sister visited me at the shop. An obvious attempt to embarrass me. She succeeded. Next to show up was my mom, who actually bought sex toys with my mandatory assistance.
jess-the-pirate: Hey OP, what ya mom buy?
Also, remember Christmas time is a time to remind your siblings that after breaking promises, the first time you have the opportunity to destroy them, you will.
IMightJustQuit: Bullet Vibrator & Kegel Balls.
My name is on the receipt. Fml.
ifelife: I had to see a pelvic floor physio and sadly many people, including my son, know that I have the strongest pelvic floor muscles they've ever seen. They even suggested I should volunteer for training sessions because many physios don't get to see 4 out of 4 strength. I bragged about that shit to many people. Side note, the physio was my boss and good friend. She asked if I could help with training another physio at the practice, also a good friend. Quite surreal when two good mates have their fingers in you (not at the same time haha) discussing your muscle control. TL;DR I don't need to buy kegel balls
cyankitten: Pardon me for asking and you don’t have to answer but how DID you get your pelvic muscles so strong?
ifelife: Ironically by having bladder issues! Which is why I saw the pelvic floor physio. Pretty much i spent a lot of time holding on so they got a lot of exercise. In fact, too much exercise! I had to learn how to calm them down a bit to solve the bladder issues
cyankitten: Thank you
ifelife: It's actually an important message. Having strong pelvic floor muscles doesn't help with anything if they're not used correctly. My physio did internal trigger point releases and even she was surprised by how much it helped with my issues. And she taught me how to relax the muscles when I don't need them. She was literally a life changer.
cyankitten: It does indeed sound life changing
ifelife: It makes a huge difference when you're not constantly reliant on having access to a toilet at short notice. Also, huge help for the sex life as it was suddenly pain free!
cyankitten: Two massive changes!
ifelife: Literally life changing. My physio had one case of a woman in her early 20s who had never had sex that wasn't incredibly painful. She lived her partner hugely but sex was just a nightmare until she saw my physio. She sobbed when she was thanking her. For me the bladder issues were a bigger problem I had 3 day surgeries to do what they call "washing the bladder" and they were helpful for a while, the fact I had 3 in 2 years says how helpful they were though. I had a car accident that caused an injury to my SIJ and gave me massive grief and I also have fibromyalgia (the diagnosis of the bladder problem was interstitial cystitis which is common in fibro). She was doing her masters at the time and just casually wondered if the back injury was impacting on the bladder problems because they were getting worse. She tried some trigger point release (like they would do on your back, glutes, etc). It hurt like absolute fuck but holy cow! She hadn't been fully aware of vaginal trigger points but when she was doing it the pain was running through my glutes and down my leg so it was all interconnected to the SIJ injury. I still have a more sensitive bladder than most people but i actually get to live a pretty normal life. I was teaching for 5 years and you know teachers never get to pee when they want! (Side note - teachers and nurses often have bladder issues because a) they have to hold on so often and b) we ask do the "just in case" pee whenever we get a chance). Sorry for the wall of text, but it's an issue that people don't know enough about. TL;DR Pelvic floor physiotherapy literally changes lives
cyankitten: I have been a teacher for years, still am and wish to god I wasn’t one. And yes I can relate to not being able to just pee when I want to!
So happy to here about those changes for you and that other lady that’s amazing!
ifelife: The pelvic floor physios at that practice have helped so many women. We tend to get told that incontinence is "normal" at a certain age or after kids. She used to put it perfectly - just because it's common doesn't mean it's normal. There are ways to improve the quality of our lives and this is one of them
cyankitten: Ooh good point and very encouraging!!!
ifelife: I remember hershowing me a cross fit video where the woman peed doing a box jump and they were all congratulating her commitment. No. It's not normal to pee during exercise, she needs some help. Everyone things they can just do some clenches and it's all good but it's a lot more complicated than that
| 16 | 894.0625 | |
1671996378 | 1671996703 | t3_zv4pnp | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by measuring my dick with my aunt's dildo
[deleted]
Ambitious_Policy_936: So, how'd it compare?
SomeSayFire: Unfavorably
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1670072087 | 1670366028 | t3_zbfmbu | t5_2to41 | 654 | billmuskrat: TIFU by telling my gf’s three older brothers about how rough their sister likes it [UPDATE]
Got a ton of well wishes on PMs (in addition to an equal amount of insults and rapist and pedophile accusations…) and a lot of you asked for an update on meeting her parents so I figured this would be easier instead of individual PMs back.
Got reservations to a nice place for brunch to finally meet her parents. Her oldest brother decided to join us too.
Overall the meeting went ok I think. Not my absolute best meet the parents situation but I was ready for the worst. When the waitress asked what we wanted to drink her brother ordered a mimosa and when she turned to me next asking if I’d like the same my gf answered for me and said I’ll just have water lol. Her brother laughed and said that’s probably for the best. Cheeky comment but I think he probably just finds the whole situation funny now.
Highlight was definitely my gf’s mother. She loved me, mid way through the meal when her brother got up to use the restroom she actually took his seat to sit next to me so we could talk more. Super affectionate and very sweet women. Even if every guy in her family hated me I think I’d be fine if I had her mother on my side since it seems like she’s really the one who calls the shots in the family. Invited me to spend Christmas with the family and I had no choice but to accept.
Her dad is a bit of a grump. Would’ve been an awkward and tense meal for sure if her mother wasn’t there. Asked me a lot of questions about me, my work, how we met, my family, friends, etc. One thing he touched on that I feel he wanted to grill the gf about was the timing of when we got together. I mentioned before that she’s only had one bf before that the whole family knew about. The bf was also Albanian so the dad probably liked him more I think. He was curious on when she ended it with him and we got together. Honestly it was pretty tight, they’d been long distance and hadn’t seen each other for close to 2 years when we started 9 months ago. Her mom immediately told him to cut it out and changed the subject.
Overall I’m pretty happy. She’s practically moved in already, I’m good with her family, my mom already loves her.
ORIGINAL POST BELOW
TIFU by telling my gf’s three older brothers about how rough their sister likes it
GF (21f) will be moving in with me (29m) soon and just told her family about me this week. I’ll be having brunch with her parents soon but her brothers invited me over for beers at a dive bar tonight to get to know me.
Started off very formal with intros and us just getting to know each other. They weren’t very friendly and just and pretty much just grilled me for over 2 hours about how we met with her interning at my office, why we’re moving in together, blah blah blah. Finally got to a place where we’re just shooting the shit about current events and our lives.
Several beers deep and they’re finally starting to loosen up and we’re having a nice friendly banter going. One of her brothers starts talking about his ex and some of her harder appetites. In my drunken stupor I said “yeah man that’s nothing some girls really love for you to push them to their limits” so he laughed and asked what I meant and I said “ehh it’ll be weird if you guys know about that”.
We were all quiet and just looking at our drinks for like 45 seconds as they digested what I said and I’m realizing how fucking stupid I am. Whatever friendliness we were working up to is gone but now there’s this tense awkwardness. I offered to get the entire bill, they didn’t even thank me, and then we went our separate ways. GF is staying over tonight and she asked me when I got to my apt how it went because her family is super protective of her. I told her and she went white as a ghost. She’s still in disbelief over how stupid I am and said we’ll talk about it tomorrow.
TL;DR : met my GF’s 3 older brothers for the first time and drunkenly told them their youngest sibling likes it really hard.
UPDATE:
Once we were both up she wanted me to give her the full play by play on how the hell this actually happened. I told her in detail everything I remembered.
She called me an absolute idiot but I got her to laugh about it so I’m not in the dog house. She said she’s probably gonna avoid her brothers for a while because this is too awkward and embarrassing. She’s also grossed out they’d even bring up a topic like sex when they just met me.
I sent her oldest brother a text this morning “had fun, let’s do this again” and he liked the text so I might be ok with the brothers.
We’re meeting her parents tomorrow for brunch. She’s banned me from touching any alcohol when talking to her family. I was planning on being stone cold sober anyway. She said if I somehow inadvertently tell her parents about our sex life she’s going to stab me so additional motivation to be on my best behavior.
I’ve skimmed through some of the comments and a few of the PMs I’ve received so I wanted to touch on a few things.
- yes I know I’m stupid, this is TIFU. I’m not gonna post my brightest moment here. But thanks anyway for calling me stupid over and over again. I’m still shocked at how fucking dumb I was. Million ways I could’ve spun it and talked my way out of that hole but I just froze.
- I didn’t bring up the topic myself. I was several beers in and was just trying to go with the flow of the current topic of convo. Obviously blew up in my face.
- got some PMs calling me a pedo and a rapist. Makes zero sense given the definition of those two terms.
- yes she was an intern but she never reported to me. I had and have had interns report to me in the past and I kept those strictly professional. My gf and I just happened.
- why is she just telling her family about me now? She was nervous they wouldn’t approve and jump to conclusions like a lot of you have because we were still at the same firm. Now that she’s gotten a full time role at another company, we think it’s the right time.
I’m really hoping I don’t make a fool of myself with her parents and have to make another update.
Odd_Operation77: Imagine being 29 and liking a 21 yr old. So weird to me
Tanchwa: Huh? Why is that weird at all? They're a fully grown ass human being.
craigthecrayfish: No they aren't. The brain doesn't finish developing until around 25. If you're pushing 30 and dating college underclassmen instead of people around your own age there's a problem.
sassy_cheese564: So by that stupid logic no one under 25 can date anyone over the age of 25?
craigthecrayfish: No. It's not switch that flips; it's a process. A 26 and 24 year old are pretty similar. A 30 year old and 19 year old are not.
sassy_cheese564: But by your own logic one isn’t fully mature/grown till 25. So a 24 year old and a 26 year old are different and shouldn’t be dating.
I’ve literally met people who are far more mature and reliable then some people my age 28. So are they supposed to just put up with dating immature people their age till you personally find it acceptable?
craigthecrayfish: >It's not a switch that flips; it's a process.
sassy_cheese564: It’s really not. I’ve met people who are far more mature and experienced then most people my age (28) so are those mature minded people still only supposed to date in their age range?
People can date whoever tf they want as long as they are consenting adults. Age is literally irrelevant past 18.
craigthecrayfish: Exceptions don't nullify the rule. The fact that you have a standard of what maturity level people your age usually are is proving my point.
To be clear I'm not saying that *every* person dating someone a few years younger is doing something wrong, only that it can potentially be a red flag. This is clearly a case of the older person being immature based on how he's interacted with her family and their clear distrust of him.
sassy_cheese564: Anyone that thinks dating someone younger is a red flag is projecting.
Cause there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as they are consenting adults.
craigthecrayfish: You didn't even respond to any of my points lol. "yOuRe PrOjEcTiNg" is such a boring and baseless accusation to throw out.
sassy_cheese564: Cause there’s nothing to respond to. It’s not a issue. If you think there is where there isn’t that is literally projecting
craigthecrayfish: Again you aren't saying anything of substance lmfao you're allowed to just not respond if you have nothing meaningful to add
sassy_cheese564: Like you have actual anything of substance to add.
ItS a ReD fLaG. 😂 did you stretch before making such a pathetic reach?
craigthecrayfish: If it's this difficult for you to see how dating a college student as a 30 year old could be a red flag you're also extremely sus.
sassy_cheese564: Or I don’t see it as a big deal because they are consenting adults.
craigthecrayfish: Something can fall under the legal definition of consent while still being creepy. What about a 55 year old man dating an 18 year old who works for him? Do you see no potentially harmful power dynamic there?
sassy_cheese564: But it’s not because what consenting adults do is their business.
Legal age to drink in some countries is 18 or to get a tattoo. It’s perfectly fine and acceptable for kids to get drunk and get tattoos at that age but having sex or a relationship with someone who’s 10-15 or more years over is a big no no to you?
55 yr old dating a 18 yr old, little odd cause of the age difference but because they are consenting adults who gives a shit? The only time any consenting adult relationship should actually be of concern is if abuse was happening (emotionally, physically etc)
| 19 | 34.421053 | |
1671999285 | 1672170866 | t3_zv5o5n | t5_2to41 | 32 | urboyfriendshoe: tifu by calling the cops
im bad at writing dont mind the mistakes
so me (f14) my sister (f16) and my mom f(49) lived alone until my mom got a boyfriend (m54) theyve been dating for 7 years and we moved in all together 4 years ago my moms always had problems with her mental health and days around the holidays and she has a drinking problem so her (calling her R) and her bf (well call him D) were always fighting since before we all moved in together and whenever it happened it usually gets violent and she throws things and fights anyone around her for the last 3 days its been all hell where everyones tense and she broke a bunch of glass by throwing it down the stairs so me and my sister were threatening to call the cops and we werent actually serious because thats scary and we need 1 more CPS case to get taken away after saying we would call 3 or 4 times i actually did it when the cops came R ran up stairs and locked herself in her room with 2 cops outside the door while another cop was downstairs talking to me and my sister(C) my mom ended up getting taken to a hospital to sober up and talk to them and if she didnt walk with them calmly they would handcuff her which is what they did the last police waited for us to have somebody home so he could leave knowing we were safe
today on christmas we found out she was released in the freezing cold at 1am to walk home and nobody let her call D but she ended up doing it halfway through her walk home D drove to where she was and took a u-turn to get her in the car but a police was behind and handcuffed her (for throwing stuff and slamming doors while we were at home) but now im scared and i dont know what to do because i might get taken away and my mom might go to jail as much as i hate her for ruining my childhood shes still my mom tl;dr
urboyfriendshoe: ill update in a few days
update
were otw to the court stuff to see if she gets jail time or comes home w a lot of community service hours and i kind of dont want her to come home bc if she finds out i did this she will probably scream in my face
update 2 we finished court and our whole familys going to be on watch with the schools, cops and cps and my mom is going to have very strict rules about coming home
like no alcohol and if she talks about the case at all at home she could get thrown into jail and lose us but i think the no alcohol rule will help us actually get along without hurting eachother
dirtyoldbastard77: Hey buddy, you did not fuck up. You did the right thing, no matter how much it might hurt - especially right now I am sure, and probably also for a while, but you did the right thing for you and your sister. Remember that.
Its also important to remember that this is not because your mom does not love you, because I am sure she does! Its because shes sick and she also needs help, more help than you can give her. And then its better that you and your sis lives with someone else for a while. Maybe for a long while, because drinking can be hard to quit 😕
When I grew up I had several friends that were taken by the CPS, and the only thing I think the CPS did wrong was that they should have taken them earlier. Also, as an adult, I have seen some cases, some that sound kinda similar to yours.
One is a little girl that now lives with some relatives (these are all in my family), I just met her today, and it really seems she is doing a lot better. Another is my nephew. I am pretty sure he is alive today because he was placed with his aunt and uncle.
You did good!
urboyfriendshoe: all my family is far away i have 1 in state but hes not blood so they probably wouldnt let me stay with him and i have nobody except him and i dont wanna go to foster
dirtyoldbastard77: As long as that person has a stable situation fit for a kid or two, so they CAN take you in, and they are willing to, it absolutely might be possible. I dont know how stuff like this is done in the US, but here its often preferred with family or other people that the kid knows, as far as its possible. Some other random foster family is not blood either :) one factor might however be if they can find a family in your area so you could stay in the same school and such.
But no matter what... I think you did the right thing, not just for you but also for your sister.
urboyfriendshoe: i live in the us and im p sure if nobody u have is family then u go to foster
dirtyoldbastard77: It says something about it [here](https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/placement.pdf), on the second page:
>In 28 states, the District of Columbia, and Guam, when a suitable relative cannot be found, the agency may consider placing the child with “fictive kin.”10 The term “fictive kin” refers to a person who is not related to the child by blood, marriage, or adoption but who is known to the family, has a substantial and positive relationship with the child, and is willing and able to provide a suitable home for the child. Examples of fictive kin caregiverscan include the adoptive parent of the child’s sibling, a nonrelated godparent, a close family friend, a neighbor, a clergy member, or other adult who has a close and caring relationship with the child.
So at least in these states it does not have to be a blood relative, and these are states where CPS is legally required to prefer such a placement :) I'd guess chances are pretty good that other states also prefer it even if they are not legally required to do so.
But the most important thing is - do you think this relative is someone that can and will take you in? And is it someone you like/trust?
How old are you and your sis?
urboyfriendshoe: 14 and my sisters 16
| 8 | 4 | |
1670845805 | 1670919201 | t3_zjwsx4 | t5_2to41 | 14,965 | PMmeNudesOfNudes: TIFU by using hair removal cream on my ass
This actually happened in the summer of 2020 while we were in lockdown (in UK), but it never occurred to me that it could be a post on here until today.
So during the lockdown, I (23 M) was stuck in a tiny flat with my girlfriend. I don't remember exactly why, but I asked her if I could use her Veet (hair removal cream) to get rid of my ass crack hair. She said yes, so I laid down on my front while she applied the cream, wiped it off a few minutes later and then washed everything down. All went well at the time... it felt great. Wiping my ass while being bald down there was just an amazing experience.
Anyway... fast forward to a week later, I start feeling some pain in what I thought at the time, was my lower back. My GF and I had just done a big deep clean of our flat, so I thought I might have twinged something while hoovering etc. A few days pass and the pain gets worse and worse. I then ask my GF to have a look to see if she can see any bruising on my lower back, she checked and saw what I can only describe as a golf ball growing on the top-inside of my ass crack.
I ended up calling 111 (in the UK, that's a number for non-emergency medical help), and they tell me I need to go to the hospital. So I go over to A&E (ER), and have a few different people inspect and feel my crack, before being sent to another wing to a specialist. They tell me that the Veet caused an ingrown hair, which then got infected and caused an abscess to grow. The positioning of it was the worst, as it was on the inside of my crack, and it was constantly rubbing and touching the other side of my crack... it didn't matter if I was standing or sitting, I was in constant extreme pain.
They did some blood tests to see if the infection had spread (it hadn't) and decided I needed to go into surgery (while they put me to sleep), to open and drain the abscess. The story is not over here, the surgery went well, as soon as I woke up the pain was completely gone. It was slightly annoying as they cannot stitch up the incision, they had to leave it to heal from the inside out. This meant I had to go back every day for about 2 months for them to re-dress the wound. Although that's slightly annoying, the pain was gone, so I was happy.
Anyway.... remember I said they did some blood tests? A few days later, my arm (where they took the blood from) started hurting and bruising quite badly. After speaking to a few nurses, they said bruising can happen if the needle hit a nerve, but it should go down in a few days. A few days later, the bruising did not go down and my arm started swelling. I'll save your eyes from the pictures (which I do have), of my ass, but I'll show you my arm after a week:
[https://imgur.com/a/kIPTBhd](https://imgur.com/a/kIPTBhd)
I ended up having to back to A&E and have an ultrasound as they thought it might have caused a blood clot. Luckily it hadn't, and although for a week my arm was locked in a 90-degree position, it did finally go down. All this, because I wanted a clean wipe!
TL;DR: I used hair removal cream on my ass crack, it caused an ingrown hair which then got infected and I had a golfball-sized abscess growing in my crack. Needed to go into surgery to get it removed. Then my arm got bruised to shit from the blood test they did on me before surgery.
malkumecks: You really think you can tell us you have a gross picture of your ass and not show us? There has to be a Reddit rule that’s violated here!
SurroundHorizon: It's called a pilodinal cyst
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=pilonidal+cyst&t=fpas&iax=images&ia=images
Bipolar-bandar: Oh my god I had "boils" at the start of my crack for literally YEARS before I found out about pilonidal cysts. They'd flare up every once in a while and I'd just go "oh okay time for excruciating pain and then pus that drains for 2 days". I have boils on my body in general (heat and humidity) so I thought it's that, just in a very unfortunate place.
Had a surgery 3 months ago and it has only just healed. 4 balls of gauze into the hole every single day for 2 months straight.
If there is a devil it resides inside a pilonidal cyst.
magpiepdx: Have you looked into hidradenitis supperativa? If not, take a look, with caution. People can have mild cases that come and go.
Bipolar-bandar: Great! Another skin condition I might have!
magpiepdx: It’s great! Doctors aren’t well versed in it, so it gets misdiagnosed all the time, there’s no cure, and there’s no proven treatments really. It’s a blast.
Bipolar-bandar: 🥲🥲
| 8 | 1,870.625 | |
1670079840 | 1670110677 | t3_zbia5p | t5_2to41 | 1,397 | [deleted]: TIFU by blowing my bf
[deleted]
dishonest_elmo: So… he’s already told all his friends and even his enemies that he can cum so hard he can almost kill someone!
schnager: That's exactly what happened next in this "alpha male's" fairytale 🙄
Skipp_To_My_Lou: OP has an account that's several years old talking about a difficult breakup, moving, cutting off contact with an ex, & is also active on twox. If it's a dude posting erotic fiction for karma, he's sure been playing a long game.
Potatoman967: hardcore karma farming
MKB813: That’s the real kink
| 6 | 232.833333 | |
1670606860 | 1673466142 | t3_zh34jc | t5_2to41 | 3,349 | hug-a-cat: TIFU by dressing casually for work
I work with marginalised people with complex needs, and my specific role relates to having lived experience of homelessness, addiction and complex trauma. There are a lot of different elements to it that I won't get into because they aren't relevant, but I do some work at a service for rough sleepers which is where I was today.
Most of my colleagues dress very casually for work. I try quite hard to be presentable because I guess I'm a bit worried about being judged for my background (even though that's literally why they employed me). It's also my first time in this type of job. However, right now in England it is Fucking Freezing and I had to layer up which meant I wasn't looking very officey. I was still clean and I don't think I was that scruffy or anything, my clothes were just a bit mismatched and too big for me.
At the place I was working, there's a drop-in area for the clients and an office area which is staff only. I mainly chill in the client area since they're the people I'm there to work with and only really go in the office area when I need to talk to a colleague or need a computer or something. This week a member of staff I hadn't met before had come back from maternity leave and was in the office.
I went to the office to introduce myself. I opened the door and popped my head round and without even looking up she just went "NO". I was like, ooook and backed away. I figured she was on a sensitive phonecall or something, still rude but y'know. (Slight side note - her tone of voice really vividly reminded me of how people sometimes talked to me when I was homeless - I remember once trying to get a woman's attention as she was walking past and she was just like "NO 🙄" and kept walking because I guess she thought I was begging? I was actually trying to tell her that her dress was tucked into her tights).
Anyway I just got on with things for a bit until I actually *had* to go into the office. I started walking in and she jumped out of her chair and was like "NO! YOU. CAN. NOT. COME. IN. HERE" and literally started shoo-ing me out the door with her hands. I kinda just allowed myself to be shoo-ed (which probably speaks volumes about my self esteem), but the service manager who I know pretty well had arrived in the meantime and was also in the office - she was like "wtf, why are you shoo-ing R, he works here!"
At this point the rude colleague obviously backs down but explains that because of my presentation and manner (her words), she assumed I was a client. (I was like, oh ok so you're cool with shoo-ing clients then, fantastic... why do you work here again?) She apologised (barely), I said ok and told the service manager I was going to finish up my paperwork from home.
Went home and had a little cry, since apparently the only thing separating R the professional and R the homeless junkie is a poorly fitting hoodie and a dorky hat. Not a good day for my self-esteem. Now I've dealt with the self-pity aspect and I'm mainly just pissed that that's how she thinks she should treat clients. The service manager has emailed me about making a complaint which tbh I probably will even though its the last thing I want to deal with.
Tl, Dr - I went to work in casual clothes and a colleague apparently mistook me for a victorian street urchin and tried to dramatically shoo me out the door. My self esteem and confidence in my job took a sizeable knock.
monstblitz: There's no fuck up here, you just had an encounter with an incredibly shitty human being. Please do yourself and the surrounding area a favor and submit the complaint. It might be hard, but you'll be preventing others from being treated the way you were. Happy Holidays and chin up!
hug-a-cat: I will do it, it's not ok for her to talk to someone she thinks is a client in that manner. If anything she should be more careful with clients than colleagues, just because they're in a shit situation doesn't mean they don't deserve respect and dignity. Thanks for your comment, happy holidays to you too!
crypticgoddessavi: Absolutely put in a complaint! If that’s how she treated you how does she treat those she is supposed to be helping? They are dehumanized and mistreated enough without the people who should be helping doing it to. If not just for you then for them. You are loved, you are doing amazing, and her lack of good sense and judgement is not a reflection on you but her.
gwaydms: Once I had a (small) part in a teacher at a private school losing her job. I wrote a note confirming that a tutoring student was of high intelligence and learned very quickly. The student's mom had spoken to the board of the school, and read my note aloud. The teacher had been blaming this 6-year-old boy for his former failing grades.
I felt a little pang for my part in this, until I realized how much damage a bad teacher can do to a child's willingness to learn. She had no right to do that to children.
hug-a-cat: Thanks for doing that. I didn't really go to school as a kid - I was in a really messed up, abusive situation when I was little so school wasn't really happening, then when I was a bit older and ended up in care I struggled *a lot* with school. I have adhd which was a factor, but I was also adjusting to living in a different country (my english was already decent but c'mon) and dealing with a shitload of trauma. The message I got from teachers and stuff was that I was dumb and had behaviour issues and was just generally a bad kid. Special classes weren't any better. Going to school was already rough but that made it worse so I barely attended and when I did I wouldn't engage.
I didn't get any exams or academic qualifications or anything til my late 20s (I have a degree now 💪) and I still have SO much anxiety about anything that seems "too academic" for me because I feel like I'll be too stupid to handle it. Quite a few people in my life have pointed out how often I call myself stupid, dumb, useless, etc or talk about how I'm always messing up or never get things right... it's a lot.
I'm going off on a tangent here but basically my point is - doing what you did is so important because those messages you get as a kid can really follow you for your whole life. Thanks for speaking up for that kid!
Reflection_Secure: You remind me of my husband. He got those same messages as a kid and continues to carry those burdens as an adult. Yet, like him, I can tell just from what you've written here that you are kind, empathetic and yes, even intelligent!
It really sucks what messages get stuck in our brains and just refuse to stop playing over and over again. But you are your own person, and you get to add new layers to who you are every single day. Today, add that you stand up for yourself *and others* by writing that complaint.
And then take a deep breath. Give the little kid inside yourself a big hug, from me. I'm proud of you. For everything you've endured, for everything you've overcome, and for everything that you are still going to overcome. You can do it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even if you have to take the occasional break to cry. You've got this.
**Hug**
hug-a-cat: Thanks so much for this, it's actually made me a bit emotional! I still give young-me a very hard time. I wouldn't dream of talking to someone else the way I talk to myself, I'm guessing that's the same for a lot of people though.
SneakWhisper: On my mental health journey they said, speak to yourself and treat your self as you would your dearest friend. So much of our self talk is incredibly destructive. We have to take a look at it and deliberately change it, one instance at a time
Raencloud94: I try to remember this 💗 thank you
| 10 | 334.9 | |
1670279249 | 1670309331 | t3_zdm5px | t5_2to41 | 34,266 | KittyKatze3: TIFU by going on a date with someone I met in a dark club
A few weeks ago, I met Max while out at a club for a bday party. He was cute, tall, and had a raspy voice and British accent (my weakness), and we spent a good amount of time that night just talking and chilling. We ended up exchanging numbers before my group left. We texted pretty consistently for a few days, and planned a date (archery and drinks). When I arrived at the range and saw Max in the light of day, I knew I had made a mistake. Upside: He was actually even cuter than I remembered. Downside: He was most definitely a she (the boobs were unmistakable in her top), albeit pretty androgynous. After a bit of convo, I confirmed that she definitely identified as a female and a lesbian. I explained that I was straight, and thought she was a guy, and she luckily laughed it off (apparently it’s happened before). We still ended up finishing up our date, and had a great time; we’ve hung out multiple times since then. I have since introduced her to a friend who’s actually a lesbian, and they really hit it off, and have been on a few dates. My friends have been roasting me for weeks, but I gained a friend and my friend gained a potential girlfriend, so really can’t complain.
TL;DR: I accidentally went on a date with an androgynous lesbian after meeting her in a poorly-lit club, thinking she was a guy.
*Edit 1: Thank you for the awards and kind comments! I’m glad this put a smile on people’s faces😊
*Edit 2: To the peeps coming for me for calling her accent “British”: it’s a Yorkshire accent. Didn’t think anyone would care about specifics. Please calm down and eat some bread.
_Silly_Wizard_: Perhaps the real fuck up was the friends we made along the way
heyyassbutt: It's not the destination but the journey
Calmlyexitmyass: Life before death.
JellyMonster3: Strength before weakness.
GothWitchOfBrooklyn: Journey before destination.
Calmlyexitmyass: Journey before pancakes, Radiant.
megthegreatone: /r/unexpectedstormlight
Squirmble: r/fuckmoash
InterstellerReptile: Can I just say how amazing it is that we have so many memes and references that spill out into random subs BUT WE STILL DONT EVEN HAVE AN ADAPATION YET!
DarkKerrigor: I'm glad we don't. It'll be a disappointment that taints my own mental image of the characters.
| 11 | 3,115.090909 | |
1670080131 | 1670280199 | t3_zbidy7 | t5_2to41 | 6 | Literarily_: TIFU by ordering 1200$ furniture I couldn't bring into my house that got rained on (and probably ruined) overnight
On Black Friday, I got a pretty decent deal on a massive 1200$ shelving set for my office. It was my first real "adult" piece of furniture that wasn't max 200$ on wayfair and made of particle board, so it never even occurred to me that it would be too heavy for me and my husband combined to carry. I was so excited that it was preassembled because I cannot build furniture to save my life and my husband already has a bunch of unassembled wayfair and ikea furniture he hasn't been able to get to because his job is crazy and he's too burned out every weekend to do anything like that.
I always thought that when you order that kind of furniture and pay extra for a freight service, they bring it into your house for you, but no, they dropped it on my doorstep, they left it at the foot of the 5 or so stairs you need to get into our house.
It arrived yesterday. The box said it weighed over 150lbs. The box was also massive. I wasn't able to carry it with my husband. So we had no choice but to leave it out I suggested putting a tarp in case it rained but my husband said no, there's not a cloud in the sky, the forecast says it's gonna be sunny. The next morning at 6am my husband wakes me up telling me that it's thunderstorming. We have a tarp that's just big enough to cover the top of the box, so I did, weighing it down with one of those bulky advertisement newspaper packets (I didn't have anything else I was ok with getting rained on. The wind blew half of it off after I'd gone back to sleep so I put a giant kitchen thing on it.
I had to hire someone on one of those handyman for hire sites to bring it in later today (nobody was doing same-day stuff). I'm praying the box isn't totally soaked through and that the furniture is salvageable, but my hopes aren't high.
&#x200B;
TL;DR: Ordered my first fancy piece of 1200$ furniture I assumed was going to be brought into the house (for that price) but was just left on our walkway beneath \~1/2 a flight of stairs. Husband and I couldn't carry it in because it was too heavy and bulky. Hired a handyman to deal with it the next (because same day fees were insane). Opted not to put a tarp on top overnight due to the weather forecast. Mother nature decided we can go F ourselves and now it's probably totally ruined.
Yoko_Haru: Sounds like you should start to learn how to put together the Ikea and Wayfair furniture on your own.
Literarily_: this one is pre-assembled.
Yoko_Haru: I meant this
>I was so excited that it was preassembled because I cannot build furniture to save my life and my husband already has a bunch of unassembled wayfair and ikea furniture he hasn't been able to get to because his job is crazy
At least you can start somewhere
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1670082727 | 1670088782 | t3_zbjccz | t5_2to41 | 10 | vate__: TIFU by trusting google maps to show me the location of a grocery store
This weekend I went to my father's house. On Saturday morning he decided that we should cook burgers tonight and asked me to go and buy beef patties. Important to mention that he prefers eating very healthily, so the required patties had to be just beef, no breadcrumbs or anything else added. In that town there's only one brand to make patties that meet these requirements. I went to several grocery stores to try and find them, but none were there. Called my dad to ask what should I do thinking he would agree to use some regular burger patties, but he said no and asked me to find the brand's store on google maps and drive there. I agreed, searched the said store on the map and only got one adress. So I drove there and suddenly there was nothing there, just some buildings. My stupid brain still wasn't seeing anything wrong with that. I re-checked the adress, discovered it was correct, then noticed an open shop-like door in the building that matched the adress. I entered the building and was met by a security guard who asked me what company i was heading to. I told him the brand's name and he nodded, then gave me directions to the floor i needed to go to.
Despite the hypothetical shop being on 13th floor, I though "well, doesn't really add up considering we're talking about a meat shop, but anything is possible in this country, and some businesses are weird, so let's keep going!". So I found the tiny room with the huge banner with the company's name on it. I re-checked the google maps again, and it told me that this is, indeed, the shop i was looking for. I knocked on the door and entered the room, inside of which I saw just a simple office set-up AND a fridge. I stared stupidly at that fridge, thinking for some reason, "Hell yeah, them patties are definitely here", although I was in the downtown, inside some shady building, on the 13th floor and honestly that fridge would more likely contain drugs or a dismembered human body. While my thought process was going towards the patties, a woman working in the office asked me what the hell I was doing here, sounding really annoyed. I replied something about buying patties and google maps, she sighed and aggressively told me they weren't a shop but instead the local headquarter. I quickly told her i was really sorry, then rushed towards the exit of the building, feeling really stupid and ashamed due to not seeing anything wrong with a "meat store" being on a 13th floor of what looked like an office building. Why? Growing up, my mother tried to start a business and while going with her everywhere I saw a lot of different locations for small stores. Somehow I thought it was normal to look for it there. But I still feel really awkward about this situation, although someday it definitely will be one of the funny stories i can tell people.
TLDR: I trusted google maps to show me the location of a grocery store, accidentally got to the company's local headquarter and tried to buy beef patties there.
overmydeadusername: Google maps is not to be trusted. If you use look up my work address using Google and use the map feature, it takes you to a pediatricians office in the downtown area. I am constantly telling patients to not usage google maps. Lol
jepulis5: Maps is great and works quite well most of the time. It's still better to search for an address if possible, especially small or generic sounding place names may sometimes confuse it.
overmydeadusername: Maybe it’s user error on my end, but it always gets me lost.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1672005974 | 1672019592 | t3_zv7w7b | t5_2to41 | 116 | babygem84: TIFU by being an older sister
Not today, almost 30 years ago (fuck, I'm old) but I'm feeling the effects of my FU today.
Back in the day, 10 year old me was the eldest kid and, in my head at least, the ruler of the roost. As is typical with siblings my younger brother (about 7 at the time) didn't agree with this and therefore we loathed each other.
His goal in life was to annoy me as much as possible and mine was to put him back in his place. Our parents loved this phase :s
One day I was on a very important phone call with a friend. It was the 90s so land-line only but we were fancy and had a cordless phone. I strutted about the house acting like I was closing the deal of the century on this call and my brother saw an opportunity.
I can't say with any certainty exactly what he did to annoy me, but you know when something just infuriates you like deep in your soul and you can feel it build in your whole body? Yeah, that happened to me. I'd like to confirm that I don't have anger issues but on this particular day, little me did not have the wherewithal to just not react.
Instead I rattled the heavy, 90s cordless phone off his head. Right between the eyes.
I obviously got punished severely for this but a few years later my brother and I began to see eye to eye and teenage us were actually good friends.
Almost 30 years later we're all grown up and my brother is married with 2 kids, 5F and 8F. About a month ago I was at their place just shooting the shit when out of nowhere 8F turns to me and says "auntie [my name], why did you hit my daddy on the head with a phone?"
It took me a minute to work out wtf she was talking about but it turns out my brother told them the tales of our youth and found this fucking hilarious.
"I don't know [niece's name], I guess because I wasn't expecting to be quizzed about it by his offspring 30 years later."
But it goes on, and on, and on. Every time I see them now I get asked about it. And she's clever with it too. Reading her a book before bed? She weaves it in to the story - "oh is that like when you hit my dad in the head with a phone?" or if I'm complaining about my job to her mum - "are you going to hit your boss in the head with a phone like you did my dad? "
Her plan was confirmed today. Christmas Day. At the dinner table. She was sitting next to me and asked "is the worst thing you've done hitting my dad in the head with a phone?" and I replied you ask me about that all the time.
As casual as you like she says "yeah I'm on a mission to ask you about it every time I see you."
At least I'm prepared now. And I'm looking forward to seeing how this mission encourages her creative side I guess?
TL;DR sibling rivalry so fierce leading to intense interrogation by the next generation
certain_people: Come up with a new explanation every time she asks
Zealousideal_Sand835: I like this idea! And I think your niece will enjoy your "fibs" just as much LOL
| 3 | 38.666667 | |
1672006359 | 1672014380 | t3_zv80tn | t5_2to41 | 477 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying my boyfriend a pocket pussy
[deleted]
shinymetalobjekt: uh yeah, not sure if I believe this. Even if you did put the wrong name on the present, why would you want your boyfriend to open that in front of his parents? If you were comfortable with him opening it there, just say you put the wrong name on it.
beathelas: To me, the "currently in the bathroom" is very sus.
Union_of_Onion: Right, who just jumps on TIFU to make a real-time post while freaking out in the bathroom in complete mortification?
Tanagrabelle: There are people, honest, who would do that. I mean, flee into the bathroom and frantically post. I’ve seen things!
| 5 | 95.4 | |
1670086514 | 1670088695 | t3_zbkpx5 | t5_2to41 | 17 | 2porgies_1scup: TIFU; by accidentally fitting the profile of a terrorist
Obligatory not today but last night. Sitting down at my parents house for dinner with my later teen-aged children. Conversation was around a college basketball team traveling and whether they flew commercial or charter.
I was arguing it had to be charter because the group was too big, the schedule changed at the last minute and it’s not that expensive to fly charter. So I started to search the web on my phone. Specially, “737 charter” and “large jet charter”… which leads me down a rabbit hole of pricing, choosing my destinations, looking at different jets 777, a380, so on so forth.
A short while later, the family gets into a kind of joking discussion about Jeffrey Epstein and conspiracies. Totally oblivious to our earlier discussion, my ADHD scatter brain gets the best of me and I remember a story that I saw and wanted to share with everyone. But I couldn’t quite remember the title or details of it.
So I go back to my phone and proceed to type in Google, THE SAME SEARCH SESSION mind you, “9/11 twin towers explosion”
Then I just stopped, looked up at everyone, explaining what I just did. “so I just searched for 9/11 immediately after searching for price quotes for a charter jet. I think I am officially on a watch list.”
Thanks for reading, I will update this story once I get checking at Guantanamo.
Tl; DR I created an ill advised web search history. And I think I’m likely now on a terrorist watch list.
Edit: later* teen aged… they are very alive
overmydeadusername: You’ve now been assigned your very own personal NSA agent.
2porgies_1scup: My next search “how to show appreciation for federal agents during the holidays”
fliguana: - How not to attract federal attention
- Getting off no-fly lists
- methods for opening cockpit door
- how to extract RDX from model rocket motors
- bulk potassium nitrate without licence
- stopping effects of chemtrails
This should do it.
2porgies_1scup: I am not too sure….
| 5 | 3.4 | |
1672006727 | 1672076266 | t3_zv85e5 | t5_2to41 | 83 | burneraccountyep: TIFU by believing my FWB when she said her parents weren't home
*NSFW*
So this actually happened last fall however I haven't had the guts to post it on here untill now.
So per usual last fall I went to hookup with a casual FWB situation I had going on. Anyways she has a very large house and a bunch of cars so it's impossible for me to tell if there's anybody home. Well I show up, we head up to her room and get things going. Of course before that I had popped the question if any of her family was home (mom, dad, sister) and she said no. So in my head we're good to go crazy. We both had all our clothes off but I did find it odd she didn't really want to get "too" into it (I'll spare the details) but I didn't think much of it. She was kinda all over the place when it came to things like that. Well here's where the fuck up came in... I decided it'd be fun to try a new "position", she was all for it so we shifted into it. While I don't know the technical term for it she was, well, laying down on her back with her head was hanging off the bed and I was standing. Im sure you can figure out the rest. So we're at it and we both hear her bedroom door open. I snapped my neck towards it in horror, it took her a second but she did the same. About 5-10 seconds has gone by of pure shock and terror by all parties involved and we both hear her mother scream and slam the door.
We stop, promptly get dressed, and I looked around, but had no escape (3rd story window, only way downstairs is by the parents). So we sat and waited... Probably 5 minutes later the mom came in screaming (understandable if I was her I would've brought a kitchen knife). Gave us one hell of a scolding, told her daughter to fix her mascara, and told me to never show up to their house again (once again understandable). Well they then left, and left me home alone with my FWB. Though neither of us were exactly in the mood to carry on so instead played the blame game for the remainder of our time. We came to the conclusion it was a joint effort. And the consequence was of course car sex untill we parted ways and went off to college.
TL:DR I got caught throatfucking my FWB by her mother and can no longer enter their property.
Doe966: I knew a girl whose father interrupted her and a dude in his car by tapping on the window with a shotgun. I was told that he got a full view of her lifting her mouth off of her dates dick.
smorkoid: What's the point of being a toxic asshole father like that?
Doe966: I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you don’t have a daughter.
LeanOnGreen: FYI : Your daughter will get fucked by multiple men in her life. Grow up. You sound like an absolute psychopath.
Doe966: And if you read further, you’ll see that my objection is to her doing it in my driveway.
namsur1234: Entitled kids, amirite?
I also have a daughter and understand the struggle and fear.
LeanOnGreen: That she'll grow into an adult and have sex? You're pathetic.
namsur1234: You're missing the point. It's about boundaries and respect.
LeanOnGreen: Of which her father clearly has none.
| 10 | 8.3 | |
1672008249 | 1672064541 | t3_zv8nqi | t5_2to41 | 92 | Melodic-Spite-5918: TIFU: I molested the girl I like and now I don't know how to live with myself
[removed]
Poekienijn: You didn’t “lose” her. You assaulted her. She must have been so scared.
Leave the poor woman alone. Go into therapy. Better yourself.
mp_phantom: C'mon now you are just being too harsh. They like each other and he clearly regrets what he did and they've discussed the event...she understands that he tried to make a move but stopped when she said no. It's not like he is a rapist or something....take a chill pill😆
They will both get over this!
Melodic-Spite-5918: As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I do not think that we will just both get over this. She doesn't understand that I meant no harm because when I started to text her about wanting to apologize she immediately told me off and said that I can't fix it with an apology. So I did not even attempt to explain that I meant no harm, even though I would like to make that clear to her, because I did not want to seem pushy. If I did, it probably would have come off as me making excuses. So we left things at her telling me that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore and me accepting that. And I don't think it matters if I meant no harm because she probably just feels like I should have known she wouldn't be comfortable with that and that it doesn't change what happened and how she felt. Thank you though
cornichoens: so… she had to tell you to stop physically assaulting her twice, you broke down and made it about you when she was the wronged party and she comforted you(!!!) you tried to apologize and she didn’t accept it, and asked you to leave her alone. and here you are again, disrespecting her boundaries because of YOUR feelings and agenda. notice a pattern here? if you want to “make things better” leave her alone. go to therapy. own up to your shit, and for the love of god stop drinking.
edit: it doesn’t matter if you “meant no harm”. you literally assaulted someone who did not want to be touched by you repeatedly. that was the harm.
Melodic-Spite-5918: I know I am not the victim, my intention is not to come across as such. I also know that, just because there was no harmful intent, that doesn't negate the damage I have done. I do however think that I am within my rights to talk about this as long as I don't lose sight of me being at fault and her being the victim. I have given her anonimty by changing her name and I have only talked about this with my best friend and no one else for multiple reasons, of which a major one is my genuine wish to not disrespect her boundaries from here on out. If she was to see this post and to tell me that I should delete it, I would. I she was to press charges, I would confess on the spot. I she was to ask *anything at all* from me ever again I would not hesitate for a second to do as she asked. I would give her everything I have if that is what she asked me to do, be it money, be it any act of punishment. I want to own up to this so bad, but I am unsure of how to do that which is why I opened this thread, to gain perspective, not to get myself sympathy for something I am obviously at fault for.
JusticeIsBlind: You are not within your rights to make her talk to you about this. Women arent free therapists. Go hire a professional and leave her alone
Melodic-Spite-5918: Are you talking about my best friend or about Becky? If you mean Becky, she has told me that she wants to be left alone so I am doing that. It is entirely her decision and if she does not want to talk to me again then I won't talk to her again. That's the pill I'm trying to swallow. If you mean my best friend, I called her up and told her about all of this because I had to get it off my chest and I was afraid to be left alone with my thoughts. I am not *making* her talk about this though, I am telling her something and she responds how she sees fit. If she does not feel comfortable to talk about it then she should not feel any obligation to do so. I have told her that one or two times right at the beginning when I called her up to tell her but I will make sure to remind her of that again. She obviously is not a free therapist, she is my friend and if she does not/can not offer me support than she is in her rights to not do so.
JusticeIsBlind: So this reads as you assaulting one woman, finally realizing that you cant make her talk to you about it and going to a different woman to make her do emotional labor. If you cant be alone with your thoughts, there are professionals to assist and hotlines for when you cant get an appointment. My whole point is stop asking women to do emotional labor for you. “If she doesnt feel comfortable to talk about it then she should not feel any obligation”. My dude, you are saying that you have active ideations of suicide right now. There are few people who would not “feel an obligation” in that situation. 988 is free and appears to be international. Call them.
Melodic-Spite-5918: I did not intend for her to do "emotional labor" I am merely spending time with her to distract myself and telling her how I feel and what happened so she knows what's going on. I have done the same for other people numerous times and I have done it for her too. I have supported her when she told me about feeling suicidal and had battles to fight. I have always repeatedly reassured her to not shy away from reaching out to me because if she needs my support, I want to be there for her as much as I can, as friends do. Since I felt capable of doing that and comfortable with doing so, I do not think of this as something that is completely off-limits because from my experience it is reasonably manageable. I am however aware of how sensitive of a topic this is (this referring both to the incident, as well as suicidality) and that there are definitely people who do not know how to deal with it and just *have* to do so because they feel obligated. But she told me numerous times that she needs me to promise to reach out to her if I am going through something or struggling with mental health and so I trust her to know how much she is comfortable with if she made me promise that. If she does not feel comfortable than it is perfectly ok for her to just decline that, there are other ways how she can be there for me and even if she doesn't have the time or energy to do so, it is not and never was her responsibility to take care of me, I am an adult and I am willing to work on any problems that come my way or that are inherent to me by myself. I am trying so hard to not make her feel obligated to take care of me and beyond my first initial call, she has been reaching out to me to check up on me on her own which I am infinitely thankful for but I do not *expect* her or anyone to do so. This does obviously not replace professional help, I know that.
JusticeIsBlind: Then make an appointment or call a hotline. If i knew someone was suicidal, i would reach out too. If only so i wouldnt feel guilty if something happened. And btw “spending time with her to distract myself etc etc etc” is asking her to do emotional labor. The words you use dont matter when it is clear what you are asking. A suicidal person saying “oh just tell me if it is too much but let me share my feelings and distract myself” is asking her to shoulder the burden.
If you are an adult, take the steps you need and be an adult
Melodic-Spite-5918: I am always working on myself and on becoming a better person, so don't worry I was always planning on taking the necessary steps myself. Staying away from alcohol, seeking professional help and maybe at least finding a way to help prevent this from happening to others since I can't fix the damage I have done with Becky. And you're right, I shouldn't have asked this much of my best friend, that was unreasonable of me. Thanks for reminding me of that.
| 12 | 7.666667 | |
1672002973 | 1672077903 | t3_zv6vwt | t5_2to41 | 36 | PrestigeZyra: TIFU by caught sleeping with men's underwear on my face
Anytime I (m) go partying at a pool place, I like to being a spare change of undies. Why not just bring swimming shorts you ask? Generally no one bothers to get changed so people tend to just take their shirts off and dive in. I'm okay waiting for my pants to dry but I can't stand walking around in wet undies. Plus underwear is pretty easy to tuck into your pockets (especially those big ones) if you fold it up properly. Some people swim in their undies only then go commando after in shorts, that also works.
Was partying at a friends house on Christmas and got pretty drunk but not drunk enough to straight up pass out. When the party was over most people left but a couple of people stayed behind and help clean up. When it comes to lights out everyone either found a couch or made do with a mattress or some piles of blankets.
All is well, until I rolled around in bed remembering that I habit of covering my face when I sleep. Blankets, table cloths, eye cover anything is fine, I just can't sleep without it. I would use my shirt but I split dipping sauce on it earlier and I can't sleep to the smell of onions in my nose. As usual I brought spare underwear and my drunk ass thought it was a good idea to use it as a face cover in someone else's living room.
I woke up to my friend making coffee. I checked the time and saw him staring at me. "Is that mine?" he pointed to the undies next to my face and my response was "smell it and find out."
At the time I thought it was a good response because I was hoping he'd realise it was fresh clean and not some random underwear I found around the house. But looking back on it, I realised I must have looked like the biggest perv. I went into someone's house, took their underwear, and then invited him to smelling it.
Not sure if he told anyone but I'm pretty sure he's scarred from thinking that he was finding out someone slept sniffing his undies.
TL;DR my friend thought I stole his undies and used it as a face cover to sleep.
TwoManyHorn2: This is why you should always know where your towel is.
MotoHULK: Hitchhiker's Guide is full of wisdom
| 3 | 12 | |
1670088908 | 1670090924 | t3_zblniv | t5_2to41 | 147 | BrethrenMoons: TIFU By getting a tattoo of a lyric from a song by a (previously) favorite music artist
Obligatory "fuck up didn't happen today."
Back in 2019 I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital due to struggles with mental health and a declining will to be alive. During that time in I had no access to music, which really illuminated how much music meant to me in my life. I decided I would get a tattoo (I had always wanted one) of lyrics from what was my favorite song of my favorite artist at the time.
The only problem was that artist was Kanye West.
At the time my reasoning was "Hey, this guy made it big despite also having struggles with mental health, that's inspiring!" And I went and got the tattoo. As time has gone on though, I have had a lot of regret about the decision, and these last few, ya know, weeks of insanity have really solidified this as a massive fuck up. Having a tattoo that is now connected to hate speech in some way really isn't something 2019 me had on my bingo card.
Also also, the tattoo is not easily cover-upable because the lyrics are in pretty big block letters. I was too anxious to tell the tattoo artist "Hey, that's at least 30% larger than I wanted." So now my only option is to look into complete removal.
TL;DR: Got a tattoo of lyrics that were inspirational to me back in 2019, only for the lyrics to be from a song to a Hitler and Nazi apologist. ):
k0cksuck3r69: I’m so sorry, there are lots of people in similar situations. I know some tattoo removal places are offering free and discounted services for people like you.
There’s also making peace with it. The lyrics still have meaning for you. I know it’s hard to separate the art from the artist, I’m so sorry this is happening.
BrethrenMoons: It’s alright, mistakes have been made and life is like that sometimes. And I hope I can find somewhere good near me!
Tarantula_Saurus_Rex: Dave Grohl has tattoos of things that he's no longer aligned with. He says he'll never remove them because they are a reflection of who he was and where he was at, at that time in his life.
| 4 | 36.75 | |
1672009927 | 1672011789 | t3_zv8xdz | t5_2to41 | 32 | Eino54: Mate I’m pretty sure I’m asexual
BretzelmitHummus: Pretty sure? Like in either asexual or we all just Ugly af or how can I picture it?
Also i have to make an obligatory joke about you becoming a sexual after seeing me.
Eino54: I’m not really sure, honestly “asexual” seems like a bit too much but it’s something along those lines maybe. I have had sex, and I do like it, but in general I’m just pretty indifferent to it. Like, it’s fine if there’s an opportunity and I’m feeling it, but usually it’s just meh. I don’t know how to explain it. Maybe greyace might be a better word? A-spec? A rather low sex drive? Idk.
I definitely find people attractive, but I never really feel like I explicitly want anything sexual with them, which doesn’t necessarily mean I *don’t* want it, just that it doesn’t matter much to me either way. I do feel romantic attraction and sometimes *that* is accompanied by actually wanting to have sex but it’s really secondary to the urge to cuddle.
In any case, I did not know the girl in question
BretzelmitHummus: I think it was funny but I also think I peaked in life after blasting „I just had sex“ on full volume when my roommate and his gf went quiet after being… not quiet lol
Eino54: I guess we’re both just immature, but it’s the best way to be.
BretzelmitHummus: Sounds kinda weird in that context tho but I guess it’s fine since you are asexual kekw
And if you don’t mind me asking… do you masturbate? Because from what you said about sex I would think you do.
Sorry but you are interesting.
Eino54: No worries, ask away.
Yes
BretzelmitHummus: Yeah that’s it anyway haha
Good night, stay like are just vegan.
| 8 | 4 | |
1670090187 | 1670093771 | t3_zbm5gj | t5_2to41 | -8 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my best friend she has no self respect
[deleted]
GlasgowBadger: Let people do.what tf they want. Who died and made you the morality police, Miss Judgy Macjudgeface? God, people like you just roast.my goose. Keep yer beak out of other business.
shadesofwolves: You...understand the irony here, right?
GlasgowBadger: Totes babes 😆
shadesofwolves: It's okay if you don't.
| 5 | -1.6 | |
1670094461 | 1670104579 | t3_zbnu8l | t5_2to41 | 243 | Difficult-Current461: TIFU by saying a gift registry for a housewarming party is weird and getting super defensive about it
This tifu story began a few days ago, but got even worse today.
Some of my bf's friends (a couple) bought a house and are having a housewarming party. I was like, cool, good for them for buying a house. I'll bring them a bottle of wine or something to say congratulations.
My bf said that we need to get them a gift off their registry. I was like, that's weird, I've never heard of a registry for a housewarming party. He called me judgmental and salty. So in my attempt to explain how non-judgmental I am, I ended up getting super defensive and tried to explain that it's just a weird concept to me and that it's not something I've heard done before for a housewarming party. He continued to tell me that I'm being judgmental and mean and hasn't let it go days later.
We had a call with a mutual friend (not someone with the new house), and my bf was telling him how mean I was being and our friend agreed. I continued to get defensive and they continued to make fun of me and tell me to calm down and that I need to stop being so mean. So I stopped engaging and went back to focusing on my homework while they kept making jokes about me.
I gave the side eye to my bf until he hung up. He went on saying how mean and judgmental I am so I made of course made it worse by asking Google. The first result to my question of "is it normal to have a registry for a housewarming party" came up with literally, "Don't do do a gift registry," and there were dozens of articles on how it's bad party etiquette. A lot also talked about how a housewarming party isn't like a wedding or a baby shower, which was part of my original point of why I thought it was weird.
My bf recorded me reading off the article to him because he said he wanted me to read it out loud. I didn't know he was recording until the end when he spoke into his phone to tell our friend how salty I'm being. So I was like, let me continue to fu, by saying "I'm sorry but if you can afford a house, you can afford some mugs." (Which are a $50 set on their registry btw).
So now the video is sent to our mutual friend, and hopefully no one else.
I was already super nervous to go to the party as I've been falling more into a depression these past few weeks, (which is common for me, unfortunately, since I have bipolar depressive disorder) and social gatherings make me super anxious anyway.
I have no idea who has heard that recording and I don't want to be made fun of and get defensive in front of a large group of people. I like the couple who bought the house and don't want to hurt their feelings.
&#x200B;
TLDR: TIFU by expressing how weird I found it to my bf that there is a gift registry for a housewarming party and he started saying how rude I'm being. Then I immediately got defensive, used Google to back me up, and now both my bf and our mutual friend are saying how mean I am. And there is a recording of me ranting about it, sent to hopefully only our mutual friend.
So, yeah. TIFU and idk how to fix it. I don't think I can.
RudeSprinkles1240: Your boyfriend is an asshole. You're not too much better, but geeze. Does he always verbally abuse you about essentially trivial things?
djmikewatt: She's fine.
RudeSprinkles1240: Tell everyone you verbally assault your domestic partners without telling everyone you verbally assault your domestic partners.
djmikewatt: I don't understand why you said "she's not much better".
| 5 | 48.6 | |
1670094255 | 1670123005 | t3_zbnr9q | t5_2to41 | 10 | imperial_dragon_7: TIFU by trying to warn a friend about his toxic and abusive girlfriend and ending up breaking my friend group
So I , (17 m) have ( not sure if I have them anymore) a group of friends which consists of 8 people. I met them last year when I started college and we've been friends ever since. Two of them, let's call them jack(17 m) and Jill(17 f) eventually became more than just friends and later started dating.
Me and another friend of mine, let's call him Shawn were against it right when Jill asked out jack, as she was a control freak, wouldn't let him talk to other girls right from when they were friends. She is emotionally manipulative, cries her eyes out to get things her way. But jack didn't listen to us anyways, and started dating her. So we just stopped caring.
Jack started changing drastically and had drifted apart from our friend group. Apart from eating lunch with us and hanging out with us for a few times ( Jill was with him during these times too and seeked all his attention just on her), he just stopped socializing with us much. He isn't the jolly social butterfly he was anymore. When he wanted to hang out with us, Jill just cried and emotionally blackmailed jack into being with her. She took all his time and all his attention. And the few times he hung out with us, Jill had to be there. She stopped him from talking to other girls but she hung out with guys almost all the time.
So one day, during Sanskrit class, I was sitting with another guy , let's say Mark and jack was absent. So Jill was talking to Mark and I was bored, so I joined the conversation. She was showing mark pictures of some hot dudes who have abs and sorts on instagram.( Let me tell you, Jack is short, skinny, ugly and wears spectacles. He looks nowhere as hot as the dudes she was showing mark). Jill was spazzing out over these dudes. Mark added a comment, something like " Jack is not THAAT hot, so if he's not your type why are you dating him ". She replied that both her and jack's parents are extremely strict. And neither of them will accept their relationship and that She's just dating him for passing time and wants to see where this goes. Let me tell you, jack is extremely serious about this relationship and wants this to last forever.
I was totally disgusted at her, but I kept my mouth shut. After a couple of weeks again, in Sanskrit class, jack was sitting behind a girl, let's call her Anna. She was listening to music on her airpods. So she offered jack one of her pods, and he put it on. Jill saw this and started shouting at him to remove it. He looked defeated and returned them to Anna. Jill went to the restroom and cried. Later she and jack had a private conversation after which he looked very sad.
So the next day I was sitting with jack in physics class. I asked him why did she do that just for wearing airpods? And he started confessing about her toxic behaviour, her emotional abuse , etc. He told that he did whatever she asked. He gave up hanging out with us, he stopped talking to girls he was close friends with and been there for her emotionally. But he asks her only 2 things. He tells her not to talk to her ex, who was a douch, but that's another story. And the other thing is he asks her not to post revealing pics on instagram. She says that it is her widb whatever she does on her social media and whoever she talks to and that jack is nobody to tell her what to do. He was really sad. So I felt pity for him, and I felt the need to tell him what Jill told to mark two weeks ago in hopes that he realizes that this is pointless at least at that point. I also told him not to bring up my name and not to tell her that i told him about this.he told he wont. He was extremely sad and tired of her. He was going out of town for a week, so he decided not to talk to her for the whole time.
When he came back, he confronted her about this, by bringing up my name and telling her that i told him about the conversation. She told that the guys that she showed mark on insta were her celebrity crushes ( they weren't celebrities, just random dudes she followed who had followers in 100s ).and that she was teasing mark to workout and make a body like those "celebs" by working out. She also denied telling that she was in a relationship just for passing time when jack asked her. Jack went and asked mark and mark straight up lied denied it ( later he told that he lied cuz he didnt want the drama). Jill also told jack that I had told lies to her that jack was cheating on her ( its been weeks since i talked to her) . She has successfully manipulated him into thinking that I'm trying to sabotage their relationship. I didn't know anything about this until yesterday.
So yesterday, I collected my lunch and sat with my friends, and it was eerily quiet. So one of my friends, let's say Gary told that our friend group is slowly tearing apart. And maybe after today it's gonna be non existant. And Jill added that it's cuz some people are showing their true colours by backbitching about her. I was totally unaware of what they were talking about. So I asked if there was something going on and nobody told anything. I was weirded out n confused. Later I asked jack what's going on and he told about his confrontation with jill and he didnt know whats the truth anymore but since mark and Jill are the majority of the witnesses , he is prolly gonna believe them. Later I asked 6 of my other friends, 3 of them are on my side here, cuz they know the truth and 3 of them fell for Jill's manipulation and take her side. Now it's just awkward during lunch. I haven't talked to Jill yet, nor do I plan to. So idk
TL;DR: I started off by trying to save a friend from a toxic relationship. But ended up breaking my friend group into 2 pieces
Darknessie: Jesus, I am so glad i am not a kid anymore.
NungaFakeer: Seriously. Whenever folk get nostalgic about childhood, all i can think of is the lack of power, cash, alcohol and the generalized helplessness of living at someone's place, following their rules, getting told what to do. I would never go back to being young and fucking stupid. Not saying that I'm not stupid right now.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1672012669 | 1672103578 | t3_zva379 | t5_2to41 | 417 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking I have to practice with a pro before having sex with my girlfriend
[deleted]
HotSupermarket3682: I think a misplaced perspective here is also that you cheated on your girlfriend because you were worried about not being good at sex…
Be foolish, win foolish prizes.
That being said I hope HSV2 hasn’t been so bad for you. You are still datable. There are many people with herpes and all people make mistakes.
reevelainen: Tells a lot about expectations we have of men these days.
Edit: Due to downvotes, I'd say this subject is too sensitive for further discussions.
GsTSaien: Nah it isn't a sensitive topic, your take is just bad.
There are fuck all expectations on men, just respecting consent and washing your body puts you above a large part of men looking to date. This guy cheated and tries to convince others it was for a selfless reason, this is not an issue of expectations.
reevelainen: I'm not saying it's an issue of expectations. He is. He tries to justify those actions with expectations he thinks she has about men.
GsTSaien: You said this says a lot about the expectations we have on men.
It does not, expectations on men are pretty damn low and OP is a douche for even trying to justify cheating.
reevelainen: Yup. Had totally made the expectations up from his head. A non-existing thing.
GsTSaien: You are using sarcasm, but the words are true. That is some hentai plot level trash logic. You need to be a douche to think cheating on your partner is somehow for their own well-being.
There is a bit of embarrassment that you can feel if you are unexperienced, yeah, but there are no expectations. Even then, if you were worried about some type of ed you would buy a blue pill not cheat on your partner. I am sorry but there is no excusing anything op said, and him not getting away with it is no reason to justify his selfish and moronic logic.
Definitely awful that he has an illness from it, no one deserves life long punishment for being a douche while young and stupid, but there is no defending his behavior. It was not anyone's expectations that pushed him this way, only himself.
reevelainen: Who said there's defending in his actions? Hell no. Communicating is a thing and there's tons of other solutions they could have solved this. Ending up cheating is delusional and we should be worried from where these men are finding these expectations that doesn't exist.
I'm not familiar with that umm...hentai plot level trash logic and I don't want to, thank you. I quess it makes more sense to consume cartooned porn rather than real porn made in oppressive misogynistic environment but I don't have enough experience to truly say anything.
GsTSaien: Men find these made up expectations from other men who don't know what they are talking about. Being self concious about your sexual performance is natural and ok, but those expectations aren't coming from us, and that line of thought from op is nothing but coping for selfish behavior.
If I had an inexperienced guy, as long as he was around my age and not too young or much older, it would be unlikely to bother me unless he made it an issue by drawing attention to it. From my perspective that is not a problem, if anything it is exciting to get a chance to blow someone's mind. I don't expect to get off the first time I am with a new partner anyway, that takes patience and being a lot more comfortable.
reevelainen: So instead if comparing each other's experience of dating women, they have made a conclusion completely out of the blue that women have some sort of glass roof of requirements towards men eventhough any non-violent hygienic unemployed would do? I would love to dig in the root reason why that had happened. It sounds rather dangerous tbh.
I don't think it's about expecting the other to be experienced or even a non-virgin but these experiences are a big part of masculinity most of the times. Mostly everyone wants to feel desired, and if that just never happens, I'd imagine it's hard to break the loop and suddenly turn into attractive dude in the eyes of the other. The feel of being desired often helps the self-confidence which is attractive feature. But again, this is just my experience as a man so it's not your widely researched knowledge about manhood and such.
GsTSaien: Stop it with that sarcastic tone. Your mockery is counter productive to intellectual honesty.
reevelainen: Oh, I'm sorry. My academic background is super thin and most of my english might seem a bit rude as we Finnish people are famous of being bad at small talk. I'm driving a garbage collector truck so I bsrely have even any privileges expect being harassed way less and not having to be afraid of getting raped. While I try to execute feministic thinking and dialogues, I must often time sound like a complete moran, I'm sorry.
GsTSaien: Your english is fine, don't play dumb please. I do not fundamentally disagree with your point of view, I am only highlighting the nuance and why your first comment was not well received. And although a bit rude you did not say anything specifically sexist when you point out how masculinity feels and the pressure men feel to be good partners. You did, however, intentionally mischaracterize my talking points, and then attempt to invalidate my perspective.
reevelainen: I get your points and not going to lie, I'm not a bot. My views are subjective as I'm already in the pit by trying to participate this after getting downvoted this much. I can't just exclude my annoyance causing some intentionally toxicity to appear in my speeches under this comment, same way there's annoyance in comments towards me.
I'm trying to find the dark spots in masculinity to develop it, not to defends it's last dark castles.
GsTSaien: That is alright, I appreciate the honesty!
If it helps in any way, the main issue people are taking with you is that you are implying that op's behavior is a result of the victimization of men from society. I know you aren't defending his actions, but you are eating up his excuse nonetheless.
Obviously there is pressure on men to be good lovers, everyone feels that, and feeling desirable is a huge part of sexuality, and it being expressed within part of masculinity is not a bad thing. Not feeling desired is a huge blow to confidence and self perception, that much is true. However, that is internal and related to insecurities, not pressure from society; thus, portraying op as a victim of society's expectations of men felt frustrating to others.
reevelainen: I have no idea from where he'd get his ideas. Nothing to do with masculinity, healthy one atleast.
Umm... Correct me if I'm right but are you truly saying that men that would get bullied about their appearance, you're saying it's internal and because of their own insecurities? It's like it's justified to mock one if he's feeling insecure? Please, help me out here. I don't know what you mean. How are the ones coming from society different?
GsTSaien: Who said anything about bullying? Or appearance?
reevelainen: They're all linked together, there literally isn't one without the other. But yeah, it literally is a long conversation.
GsTSaien: They are unrelated to this discussion.
reevelainen: Then you must've experienced different masculinity than I had, because I'm having hard time understanding what you mean. How aren't self-confidence, appearance, they way men are expected to represent themselves, what to wear, how to adjust their appearance, basically two sides of the same coin?
GsTSaien: We were discussing factors related to societal pressure not everything related to confidence
| 22 | 18.954545 |
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