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1670541934 | 1670594149 | t3_zgfmib | t5_2to41 | 1,243 | death_and_defecation: TIFU by not shitting for almost a month
So there's not gonna be any major, life altering events here. Just something I can't quite process years later. Tldr at bottom.
So when I was 14-15, idk why, but I couldn't shit. I'd take miralax twice a day, often with exlax, metamucil, I've tried mineral oil, fruit juices, everything... literally everything. But sometimes even with all that, I wouldn't crap for weeks. I've had to go to the clinic bc my shit was pressing on my bottom ribs and causing a LOT of pain in my side. Doctors ran tests, I even took a tracer pill and had x rays every 2 days, they gave up after 2 weeks bc every tracer ring was still in the same spot.
It came to a point where it'd been 24 whole days without shitting. I looked like I was in the middle of pregnancy. I was in constant pain and discomfort, even drinking was difficult bc I always felt full. Went to the doctor who again took x-rays, made another joke about me being full of shit, and immediately went into his plan.
His plan? 16 doses of miralax in a gallon of water, 2 exlax chocolates, and a 10 Oz bottle of magnesium citrate. In one hour. TWO WHOLE CUPS OF MIRALAX POWDER. I measured it all out in a massive cup with pure fear in my eyes. I gagged on the awful vinegar/lemon flavored mag citrate, took the miralax with watered down juice bc I'm not committed enough to drink a whole gallon of plastic flavored water. The chocolates aren't so bad, they just taste like stale Easter candy to me. But I managed it within the hour with a toilet on standby.
Now let me warn you, if you've never taken them: all laxatives will cause some level of pain and discomfort. Stimulant ones with senna are the worst pain-wise. After about 2 or 3 hours of discomfort it begins. And I don't know why, but it felt like pure acid was leaving my asshole. Every time I let out some more, I was holding back tears and wait for the white hot pain to pass. I was in and out of the bathroom till the next day. By 6 or 7 hours in, I was essentially pissing out of my ass. Pure, clear liquid. I had become a very complex brita filter. I was reverse Jesus. I could've turned wine into water with the power of my asshole. I was now the bidet, cleaning out the toilet with my ass water. I could've put out a fire with just my ass. I was in pain, exhausted, very dehydrated, and just started fucking laughing. I think seeing myself shit water made me lose any semblance of dignity or sanity I had left and I was just laughing, alone in the bathroom, late at night. My doctor factory reset my damn intestines.
Even better, I had to do it again a couple months later, wasn't as backed up though. I swear I had to flush like 20 times. It was bad.
Tl;dr: didn't shit for 24 days, 19 doses of laxatives as per doctor, became a human water hose.
Edit: KEY DETAIL I LEFT OUT: it was bad enough my parents suggested I essentially finger my own ass in the shower to stimulate the muscles. Bc they use a wet cloth on a baby's butt to help them poop. I still can't quite wrap my head around this one
2nd edit: stop asking about my diet. Please. I was pescetarian, took metamucil, ate Greek yogurt, and was as active as you can expect a teen in school to be, which is fairly active. I understand you wanna figure it out and help but docs have asked me this before and don't know either, we are not going to have a House-like epiphany when I mention my diet or lifestyle. I also no longer deal with constipation this severe.
thesteelreserve: this is astonishing. sometimes I shit 3 times before breakfast.
death_and_defecation: Funny enough, I started going regularly when I began vaping. Idk why, just makes ya shit. Now I'm quitting so we will see how this goes... may have another post here in a few months...
m-in: 60% likely it’s due to bad diet.
death_and_defecation: Was pescetarian at the time and tried dietary changes, nothing helped
m-in: Damn it, you’re in that 40%… How is your fiber and leafy green intake?
death_and_defecation: I've used Metamucil for years and as I said earlier, was pescetarian and ate a lot of greens. I basically had salad every day at school for lunch, with tuna n spinach. Now I eat like garbage tho bc I forget to eat a lot
m-in: Interesting. You’re definitely unlucky in some way for things to get this bad in spite of you doing the right things at the time.
death_and_defecation: Eh, still seeing docs today for other unexplainable issues so definitely unlucky lmao
i81u812: What other issues?
death_and_defecation: Fatigue, pain, syncope, nausea, one sided lactation, interstitial cystitis... a lot tbh. Got 5 infections in as many months last winter. Seeing docs, but we are in the elimination stages it seems. And ofc if it's somatiform I'm fucked lmao
Jenderflux-ScFi: You might have endometriosis that's got different parts of your intestines stuck together making it hard for stool to pass through properly, along with some of the other stuff.
death_and_defecation: Wouldn't a CT pick that up?... been on birth control since 13. Last period was almost 2 weeks, at its worst I'd have blood dripping from my hands after a few hours when I go to change the tampon. I'm barely functional during my period, can't sleep for the first few days at all, then can't stay awake the following couple days. It's stupid 0/10 I would not like a uterus anymore
Jenderflux-ScFi: CT does not pick that up at all, only cutting you open and looking inside picks that up. (Actual surgery, can be laparoscopic with minimal incisions)
Your other symptoms seem to point to endometriosis as well, please read patient education about endo to see what else fits about it and see if you need to ask your doctor's to investigate that as well.
Have you seen a ob/gyn or a gynaecologist about any of your health symptoms? Because they should have suggested that based on what little you've talked about here.
death_and_defecation: I have seen a gyno for a lot, ranging from piss issues to lactation to STD testing after assault. I have a very tense pelvic floor but beyond that they don't really want to explore further, just tell me to get physical therapy for it which is, well, scary with my history. Will be seeing her about my implant in a few months though, almost time to switch it out.
Jenderflux-ScFi: If they haven't suggested endo as a possibility, you probably have a terrible doctor that can't see how things all line up and point to endometriosis.
| 16 | 77.6875 | |
1670542474 | 1670610627 | t3_zgfvkb | t5_2to41 | 10 | LucasWhitefur7822: TIFU and ruined a song from my childhood.
A bit of backstory: When I was young, my mother had a set of lullabies and other songs she sang to my siblings and I. One of these was "Chim Chim Cher-ee" from Mary Poppins. I remember her singing it to me a few times, with the lyrics altered to be about how much she loved me. One such case was when I was sick as a baby and she sang it to comfort me.
Well, I decided to go back and listen to it tonight, at age 22. And boy, it's pretty disturbing when you think about it. The thought of being a chimney sweep in Victorian-era London is more than enough to make me feel claustrophobic. Their working conditions were terrible, to say the least.
Now that I come to think of it, I question my mother's judgment in using this song as a lullaby. I was old enough to remember it some of the times she sang it to me, and being the morbidly curious person I am, I would be bound to research its true meaning eventually. I've got this mental image of my mother singing to me in a hospital room, not knowing she's singing about claustrophobia.
TLDR: After going back to a song my mother used as a lullaby, I realized there's nothing adorable about it.
SoyMurcielago: Next up, ring around the rosey
LucasWhitefur7822: That one's about the Black Plague, right?
chmath80: No. It really isn't.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1670545023 | 1670596665 | t3_zgh12m | t5_2to41 | 30 | dsitalo: TIFU by having sex in my living room
Hi y’all. This actually happened today and I’m gonna probably start feeling the repercussions of this soon. Soo…. I live with two roommates at a townhouse we all rent. This morning both my roommates were gone from home. Normally this doesn’t mean anything, but today my lady friend who I’d seen a few times wanted to come over and hangout for a few hours in the morning. I invited her over and we started watching Abbott Elementary on the couch. Soon enough, things get a little spicy and touchy. At this point I should’ve known to take things upstairs to my bed, but for some reason one thing led to another and… you can read the title to see what we did. Queue the fuck up. We used condoms. I work nights normally on the weekend but lately have been doing some OT and had actually worked last night. Needless to say I was a little tired and unable to focus too well or make good decisions (duh). I had left both the wrapper and condom still sitting on top of our couch for the whole world to see and never picked thrown them away. My friend went home and I went upstairs to finally get some sleep. I went to bed and maybe an hour after everything had happened my roommate had presumably come home and seen the condoms. She texted me twice very angrily (rightfully so) about having sex in shared spaces and how we’ve agreed to not do so. I feel so guilty and now don’t know how to face my roommate.
TL;DR Had sex on my living room. Left condoms on the couch. Roommate comes home to find evidence. Roommate now wants to kill me and I feel like a gross scumbag
indiana-floridian: Get some lysol and go clean it up. Then if roommate didn't see you clean it, you make text and say sorry, I disinfected it.
MrZero3229: Leave the Lysol on top of the couch, too
| 3 | 10 | |
1670543952 | 1670545834 | t3_zggjk6 | t5_2to41 | 26 | benje17X: TIFU by sneezing blood in front of a customer
TIFU by sneezing blood in front of a customer
Because of the wintertime, everyone on my dad's side of the family gets fucked up congestion and sinus issues for December and January. I'm used to it now, I will normally just need tissues at my desk and 9/10 times in the morning, my nose will bleed for like 5 minutes.
Anyways this morning was a little rough don't know why just was. Thought I was in the clear and then driving to work it came back, took care of it and came in thinking nothing.
My first check in at my hotel job everything is going smoothly and I am caught up talking to someone. My tissues are in the back the room and I am not. Feel a sneeze coming and before I could try to stop it goes and I need blood literally on the desk, on the computer, etc. luckily not on the guest, but she did see and was disturbed. I quickly grab her card (skipped 3 steps of check in) and told her if she needed anything I'll be here a while.
I wiped and disinfected litterally everything and told the manager who bought some special cleaning products out to help. It was embarassing tho.
TL;DR I have congestion and constant bloody noses and sneezed blood in front of a customer scaring her
AssistUsed: Oh nooo, that sounds painful too. Has it been a while since you last saw a doctor about it? That seems concerning. Does it ever get that bad for others in your family? Sorry for all the questions, it just sounds more scary than embarrassing. Or maybe I've just seen one too many anime where a bloody cough was a symptom of a terminal illness haha
benje17X: You're good. It's people on my dads side of the family and it's because of our nose shape which can only be fixed according to my doctor by a rhinoplasty. This was a rare day, normally it be for 5 minutes and then be done, but when it's cold and humid and muggy it can get worse. If I get rich enough I'll consider it, but I'm a broke college student...so I just have this good saline spray that I use on the worse days. It's not painful but was just clot, still gross, but nothing worrying
AssistUsed: Oh damn, fingers crossed!
| 4 | 6.5 | |
1670545009 | 1670564716 | t3_zgh0v6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | vfunk15: TIFU by thinking my car got stolen
Title says it all. Went to find my car one night after hanging out with some friends. It had been an odd night. Lights went out in the whole neighborhood, our dinner was in the dark, friend couldn't get in to her electronically locked apartment complex. Returned to where I was so sure I had parked my vehicle and I didnt see it. Both my friend and I were so sure we had parked there. Saw there was a no parking sign in the spot, so I figured I didn't see it and it was towed. Called towing places, police records and everyone told me to report it stolen. Oh did I mention I live in Portland, OR where its the norm that cars are stolen? No one... I mean no one I talked to considered I had maybe just misplaced my car. I've NEVER forgotten where I've put it... After many insurance calls later, emotional panic, letting go of my new vehicle and my belongings and multiple tellings of how my car was stolen... 1 month later the cops call me and tell me it was found a block away. I tried to buy it back from the insurance company, but it was too late. It's just gonna get impounded and I can't get my stuff back. The biggest fuck you to myself. I am SO embarrassed.
TL;DR Thought my car was stolen. Submitted to claims and got paid out. 1 month later cops call and said it was found a block away. I literally misplaced my vehicle and sent myself on a wild goosechase.
indiana-floridian: Impound lots will let you in to get your stuff, at least in my experience. Perhaps its different in your state? If you didn't call the impound lot directly, do that.
vfunk15: It's actually an auto auction lot... I don't have the keys to open the vehicle, bur maybe I'll give them a call.
indiana-floridian: Auction lot? Might be different than the original impound lot it probably sat at for weeks before they told you. But you have nothing lose to call and ask.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1670543668 | 1670550468 | t3_zggf1b | t5_2to41 | 799 | CulturalJacket8571: TIFU by losing my fingers
Some back story. I'm a young teacher working in a preschool and I was born a few fingers short. My arm isn't like a "normal" palm minus a few fingers, it's really slim and has the palm space to fit only the three fingers I have (including my thumb).
Kids tend to notice my hand very quickly and as kids do, make comments about it. Because of that and having worked with kids since I was old enough to start babysitting, I've heard every possible rude comment, funny joke, or odd question. I've also gotten into the habit of making up ways I "lost my fingers" (so that everyone knows if I'm telling young kids a story about how I "lost my fingers" I keep it pg and tell them the truth immediately after).
Now onto my screwup.
At the beginning of the school year, while in a silly mood and while helping some kids do a balance beam, a couple of my students noticed my hand and asked me about it. Without really thinking I said, "Oh they fell off earlier and I forgot to put them back on."
That was the wrong thing to say. Within a few minutes, the story spread, and panic ensued. Some kids were crawling on the ground looking for my fingers, others were trying to pat me down to see if my fingers are in my pockets, and still more were crying and holding their fingers to "keep them from falling off."
It took some time and some help from a coworker to calm everyone down at which point we explained that it was a joke and that I was just born without a few fingers. We then went inside and I held a lesson on how people are born differently and made sure to let parents know the full story during pick-up.
Everything is fine, the parents think it's funny and none of the kids needed therapy but I haven't lived it down since. My students' siblings won't come near me. When I'm introduced to grandparents I'm "THE teacher". And every new staff member has been told that story during their tour of the school.
We'll see if it still sticks next year but right now this is what I'm known for to everyone.
​
TL:DR - I told my students my fingers fell off and they believed me.
Reddit-username_here: Seems like you've been fingered as the cool teacher!
Dashieswag92: Somehow "Teacher fingered by students as cool teacher" doesn't sound like a great headline
Reddit-username_here: You're probably right.
"Cool teacher fingered by students." There. Much better!
Dashieswag92: That'll certainly garner some attention.
Reddit-username_here: We did it Reddit!
| 6 | 133.166667 | |
1670546556 | 1670547054 | t3_zghp8u | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking an accidental pic of a dude next to me
[deleted]
girlscoutkushy: Man spreading? You try sittng close legged with balls. They get sweaty and stick to our leg. Let the man air them out.
He probably thought you snapped a pic of his junk.
ls952: Bruh, why do they always get in the way trying to sit down? Fuckin sucks.
| 3 | 1 | |
1670546551 | 1670556265 | t3_zghp5d | t5_2to41 | 92 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating on the couch
[deleted]
threedogcircus: Why would you be in trouble if your parents knew?
MotoHULK: Rubbing one out where everyone sits is kinda yucky
threedogcircus: It is. So you tell them it's inappropriate to do that kind of thing outside the privacy of their bedroom and send them on their way.
| 4 | 23 | |
1670734981 | 1670854021 | t3_zift0c | t5_2to41 | 16 | chocalatil: TIFU by sending to many gay memes
I ,15m, fucked up by sending way to many gay memes.
It all started in the morning when my mom took my phone, just to check If there was like porn or something. An hour later, my mom enters my room and says, "Son, are you gay?". Me being flabbergasted said "no, I am not gay". She then proceeds to present me images that I had sent to my friends via discord of super gay memes. I explained to my mom that gay jokes play a major role in meme culture nowadays, and it is just for shits and giggles. My mom thought otherwise, and brought my dad into the case. Now my mom, and my dad, are in my room probing me with questions, about whether I am gay or not. At one point of the debate, My dad says, "if we brought this evidence to a lawyer, and made them watch it, he would say that you are gay!". I honestly couldn't believe it. My parents are supa-boomers! This debate was nothing but pure, raw entertainment to me.
It finally concluded to the fact I wasn't gay, and I am the heterosexual male that I am.
TLDR: Sent to many gay memes, parents were concerned.
richardsonhr: Is homosexuality a crime?
Stolen_Showman: That depends, are you currently in Qatar?
richardsonhr: I'm not, but OP might be.
Stolen_Showman: Looking at his post history, neither of you has anything to worry about, then 👍
| 5 | 3.2 | |
1670546376 | 1670604348 | t3_zghmfo | t5_2to41 | 305 | randomuser1857: TIFU by not knowing the actual meaning of roofie
So... I recently learned that roofie does *not* mean kissing someone deeply and licking the roof of their mouth. And the reason I finally learned this was due to a conversation with my friend who is also my roommate (we're both college sophomores). We were having a heart-to-heart about sex and intimacy, how we both felt insecure about our lack of experience. Then I said something like "I know it's unhealthy to put it this way, but I really want to roofie a girl before I graduate."
Oh god I'm cringing so hard as I type this. I meant it as "I know it's unhealthy to set deadlines for intimate experiences", but obviously for people who know what roofie actually means, that's not what it sounded like.
My friend looked at me like I had just grown another head. I thought maybe he was being judgmental about french kissing? So I said, "It might sound gross, but there's a reason why people do it, right? I just want to try it and come to my own conclusions."
He didn't reply to that and just changed the subject. I didn't think much of it. Except afterwards he didn't smile or talk as much, always looked apprehensive like he wanted to say something. It took me a while to catch on, but when I did, I realized almost immediately that it was because of that conversation. I stewed on it for a bit, wondering just what I had said wrong. Then I Googled it and nearly had a heart attack.
I explained everything to my friend and he laughed his ass off. He said he was really relieved. He didn't think I was that kind of person, but couldn't be 100% sure. The reason why he hadn't confronted me yet was because he'd been gathering advice on how best to go about it.
I'm glad I got it cleared up with him, but I'm still dying on the inside. It's worse because that was definitely not the first time I've used roofie in conversation. None of my high school friends ever corrected me. Did they just think the worst of me? I want to scream just thinking about it.
TL;DR: A conversation with my friend made me realize I've been using "roofie" wrong for a long time and now I'm wondering just how bad other people's perception of me is
Independent_Ad_8867: Who would have thought watching “The Hangover” could actually have helped give you an educational experience for this situation…
Impressive_Teach9188: Why do they call them roofies, they should call them floorsies because you more likely to end up on the floor than the roof
Independent_Ad_8867: It's funny, 'cause just the other day, me and my boy, we was wonderin' why they even call 'em roofies…
LadyBug_0570: It's short for Rohypnol. More like a nickname from it.
| 5 | 61 | |
1670547925 | 1670550418 | t3_zgi9sh | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling asleep
[deleted]
radioactiveduck_: honestly i keep accidentally doing this to my best friend when i’m meant to call him after work (he works until late night/early morning) so i absolutely feel ur pain. i wish i had any advice for u, but if u come across a solution, lmk?
interactionshurtme: Honestly idk dude, i just apologise without saying anything extra and try to make it up to them.
radioactiveduck_: yeah that’s sorta what i do too, i just feel awful about it happening a few times now, yk?
interactionshurtme: Yeah ik the feeling well :(
| 5 | 0.4 | |
1672352776 | 1672456808 | t3_zyij49 | t5_2to41 | 323 | JohnnyAK11: TIFU by underestimating the intelligence of capybaras
I recently visited a wildlife sanctuary that was home to a group of capybaras. As I was walking through the enclosure, I spotted a capybara that had somehow managed to escape its pen.
Thinking that the capybara was just a dumb animal, I decided to try and catch it myself. I slowly approached the capybara, thinking I could easily grab it and return it to its pen.
Well, I was wrong. The capybara was much smarter than I gave it credit for and managed to outsmart me at every turn. It kept running away and hiding, making it nearly impossible for me to catch it.
After about an hour of chasing the capybara, I finally called for help and the staff at the sanctuary were able to catch it and return it to its pen.
TL;DR: I underestimated the intelligence of capybaras and tried to catch one on my own. Lesson learned: never underestimate the intelligence of an animal, especially one as clever as a capybara.
InfiniteCalendar1: I feel like most of the time if any animal that isn’t a pet is just out there, they’re gonna run away from humans who try to go near it
RenzoARG: Not really, if they're used to humans, they dont give a F about us.
InfiniteCalendar1: I mean take squirrels for example, they’re very use to humans but if you tried to approach or grab one they will try to get away from you.
RenzoARG: ​
https://preview.redd.it/n6cuadxhe09a1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=eed7fd63c2f9f60fdda6582e8ddf883ec395dd10
These are the "squirrels" in my province, lol.
InfiniteCalendar1: I assume you’re in South America
RenzoARG: ​
https://preview.redd.it/oqnk21fsg69a1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=77cdbf99b10555e887767b0c6670b7c0679081ca
Elementary, my dear.
InfiniteCalendar1: Huh?
| 8 | 40.375 | |
1672352900 | 1672358092 | t3_zyil3b | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by making The sound while at gym with my friend/crush
[deleted]
xeguerreiro: Me dumb. Me no understand shit of this post
jneum80: OP filled his britches with brown delight.
Open_Dragonfruit_304: Blew the bugle of the south and all smelled its inglorious air
clownandmuppet: That. Is poetic…
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1670551870 | 1670553082 | t3_zgjv14 | t5_2to41 | 7 | eXpressives: TIFU By Changing My Windshield Wipers
This just happened today and constantly beating myself up about this. Honestly such a minor thing but I needed to vent.
Background: My windshield had been cracked for about a year now (thanks random rock) and it was cracked beyond a cheaper fix but was still usable. The crack proceeded to spread throughout the year until I decided to replace it. It wasn’t cheap as my car has some lovely features that make it hard to just change the windshield without some calibration. The change was fast and had my new windshield done and finally crack-free after a year.
The next day I decided to change my windshield wiper blades. The rain has started to pick up and honestly these blades were also due for a change! Unfortunately, as I was removing one, the metal arm decided to slip out of my hand and slam right back into the newly replaced windshield. You can imagine what happened.
Needless to say I feel like a huge idiot and about to be out of more money since I doubt the repair shop is feeling charitable.
I hadn’t processed the claim yet with my insurance as I hadn’t had a chance since the windshield change, but I have no idea if I should even bother now and wait until the second repair is done and just claim that.
But yeah, maybe be extra careful with your windshield wipers folks.
TL;DR Changed my windshield after a year of being damaged. Managed to damage it again in less than 24 hours
12Peppur: Windshield is fully covered by insurance sounds like you need to go to a different company
FLTDI: Not true everywhere.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1670552824 | 1670562526 | t3_zgk7xb | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting while sleepy
I honestly have no idea how to put this and have absolutely no clue how to save the situation. Please help!
I (21M) live in Vietnam. I am chatting with another girl (19F) I really, really adore. I want to ask her out so badly, yet I’m approaching the end of my semester in year 3 so I have not quite found the chance to ask her out. This is where I fucked up! I stayed up late last night to finish a module in my final term project, 2 Redbulls and this was also right after a day of also working for 12 hours so I definitely did not feel myself this morning.
Fast forward to 7:19AM, I had just hit the bed for 1 hour at this point. She is having a test this morning, and I want to wish her good luck. So during my god damn fucking euphoria or whatever the fuck you call it, I called her <another fucking girl’s name> instead of her real name. Please be aware that this is my first attempt at texting after a huge break up 6 months ago, so there had been 0 girl before her. I do not even know the name that I used to call her, not even where it came from because I have no friend with that name, and my last girlfriend had a vastly different name!
I honestly have no idea how to explain this to her. It even feels hard to believe even when I’m telling the story to you guys. But for those who have done the same sin as I did, and also those who trust where I am coming from, please, please help!
She is an absolutely adorable girl and a little out of my league, we all have feelings for each other and we are learning more about one another with texting. I do not want to lose such a gem, so please, please, please, please help! She has not replied despite having read and been online since.
TL;DR : address an adorable yet sensitive girl with another girl’s name which I have no clue where it came from, fucked up a possible serious relationship.
ResidentEivvil: Just say sorry autocorrect
rws907: Or voice to text.
| 3 | 1 | |
1670551601 | 1670582063 | t3_zgjrcy | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU story about my deal no 2
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: Pics or it didn’t happen
ReviewLongjumping522: The least thing in my mind in that mess was starting to take pics of it
| 3 | 0 | |
1672355598 | 1672367118 | t3_zyjpqe | t5_2to41 | 61 | Im_InYour_Balls: TIFU, might have colon cancer
19M, turning 20 next month.
Over a year ago (last year, late January-early February), I had persistent bleeding for a week, covering the toilet bowel. Never got it checked out but the doctor gave me movicol and it went away. After over a year later, I’ve had stomach pain (tenderness when touched), inconsistent bowel movements for the past few months and it all stemmed from one bleeding episode I had a few months back. There was pain during bowel movements for a few weeks and then eventually there was blood once.
I’m worried I left this issue alone only to make myself suffer the consequences. I feel as though there were polyps bleeding for a week and now after a year, it’s developed into cancer. I can’t recall if I’ve had bleeding on and off as a little boy, but I’m scared for the future and my dreams have me going through cancer. This fucking sucks
TL;DR. Dismissed bright red bleeding last year. Lasted a week and now I may have cancer. Getting a colonoscopy soon hopefully.
bowlofjello: I don’t really see a FU. You said you went to the Dr and the bleeding went away. No FU there.
And now a year later you’re new having problems you weren’t having last year so there wouldn’t have been a way to stop it from happening.
And now you’ve already scheduled an appointment to get this new problem checked out and sorted. Which isn’t a FU.
Health problems you have no control over starting/happening aren’t a FU and you’re doing what you can to check things out.
No FU here.
Im_InYour_Balls: I appreciate you and your reassurance. This whole thing is just getting to me now. I’ve developed health anxiety ever since I caught Covid as an unvaccinated citizen near the start of this year so maybe those two correlate?
Embarrassed-Bus-8591: 30M here, I can relate to what you’re going through. I had a colonoscopy at 25, due to seeing blood when I wiped. I occasionally get light amounts of blood in my stool, usually due to stress or diet. The good news is the colon cancer is very rare at your age, but it’s still good to get checked. My family has a history of colon cancer so I’m probably going to have another one before I’m 40.
How red was the blood? If the blood was very “blood” colored you may have just ruptured a hemorrhoid. If it looked more like a mixture of blood and feces, it may be more serious.
Also, be prepared to pay a hefty price for the colonoscopy if it turns out to be negative. They usually aren’t covered until you’re over 50.
Im_InYour_Balls: In Australia I think it’s 1500 to 2000. It’s only a couple weeks of pay so not too bad I guess
Embarrassed-Bus-8591: That’s not too bad. In US, it’s about that much. Ironically, if they find cancer, our insurance covers it, but if not, they won’t.
| 6 | 10.166667 | |
1672355190 | 1672393842 | t3_zyjjii | t5_2to41 | 21 | throwaway_RA127312: TIFU by Taking Laxatives For my Pregnancy symptoms.
Just before Christmas I found out I was pregnant, I wasn't looking forward to the Symptoms Like Morning sickness or Change in sense of Smell and taste but there's one symptom I hate more than Anything else, the constipation. I've been Pregnant before but It ended in Miscarriage I knew what I was in for, Unable to Do number 2 for Weeks on end Without the use of Laxatives.
At the point where all bowel movement stops It's Christmas eve, the shops are all shut and there's no hope of an online delivery for the next two days. I go through the entire of Christmas eve, Christmas day and boxing Day unable to pass anything solid out and Eating more than I have in the last few months combined. I knew I'd regret the food Shortly after but it just tasted so good!
By the 27th I'd Lost all hope of Being Able to go No2 I was bloated and uncomfortable, I felt like a whale despite being in the 1st trimester, But I still couldn't find any cheap laxatives I could get on the day or day after.
Eventually I picked some up today, I had to get The poop out asap as Tomorrow I'm due back at work and I definitely didn't want the poop explosion at work so I Take 3 innocent Small tablets and Wait for them to work.
A few hours later they did work, I made the mistake of trusting a fart and Felt the warm liquid trying to Ruin my Nice clean bed and escape my Cheeks. I bolted to the toilet and the chocolate waterfall started flowing.
Half an hour later im still here, I've stunk out the house, My Brother is in is room probably having to listen to wet fart after wet fart and Smell the horrid smell. Thankfully it's finally starting to slow down but the House stinks.
TL;DR : I ate like a pig over Christmas due to my Pregnancy, took laxatives and now I've been On the toilet for Over half an hour.
coffeebuzzbuzzz: Laxatives are not safe to use during pregnancy. They can cause uterine contractions, which can result in miscarriage. Fiber supplements like Metamucil and stool softeners like Colace are safe. Always check to see if a medicine is safe during pregnancy before taking it.
throwaway_RA127312: Had no idea they were unsafe! Thanks for the tip
| 3 | 7 | |
1670558719 | 1670619336 | t3_zgmbdn | t5_2to41 | 1,596 | Webofshadows1: TIFU Agreeing to be wingman for my buddies
This story happened many years ago, but I was reminded of it today. I was stationed in Hawaii and loving life. One particular night, we (3 of us) went to a club to blow off steam on a Friday night. Before we go out, I was given the title of wingman. One of my buddies (Rogers) spots a girl he knows and introduces us. She says she has 2 other friends on the dance floor and we should all hang out. We’re all thinking perfect.
It was not perfect. While the other girls were knockouts, my girl looked like Melissa McCarthy’s character from Bridesmaids. My other buddy (Adams) begins to practically beg me to keep “Melissa” company. Rogers let’s me know that Melissa always cockblocks and he begins begging too.
I decide to keep her company because why not. Melissa was at least funny. After dancing and talking for awhile, Melissa suggests to her friends that we all go back to their place to hang out. Her friends look at her stunned. We all agree and get to their place.
This is where the fuck up began. I definitely know what Melissa wanted. As soon as we get in the house, the other couples split to their respective bedrooms. Melissa leads me to her bedroom. I do not want to have sex, but it feels like I’m obligated at this point. As she starts getting naked, Melissa’s demeanor changes to more serious and she says she has rules. “Condom never comes off. No oral sex for either party. No fingering. No biting. No heavy breathing. Do not touch her nipples. Only touch one breast at a time. Only 2 positions allowed. And she didn’t want me to put the “whole thing” in. She then jumps on the bed, spreads eagle, spits on her hand and rubs her vagina, and then tells me to “saddle up”. I am still soft, have my clothes on, and visibly confused. She sees my concern and gets up, still naked btw, to go to the other girl’s room. Melissa begins yelling, “I was promised dick tonight and if he says no, these mother fuckers need to leave”. The walls were very thin. I now realize I must do my duties to earn Wingman of the Century for my contributions.
Before she gets back to the room, I get naked with a hard-on. When she opens the door, she looks at me and screams RULE CHANGE. “You can only go past your head”. She touches my dick and makes an imaginary line. She does her saddle up move again and I put on a condom and get on top. After 5 minutes of boning like I’m scooting in a chair, she stares intently at me, grabs my head, and just begins screaming aggressively. I start to wonder if my friends are playing a cruel joke on me. She says, “I’ve cum, but I still want to be bent over”. I begin to take off the condom and tell her I’ve had enough and I would rather jerk off. She looks at me in disgust and states “How dare you try to take the condom off?! I have a fiancé. Do you think he would like me seeing you cum?”. I’m dumbfounded. I put my clothes on with my remaining dignity and begin leaving. As I’m leaving, she tries to grab me. Not realizing my own strength, I pushed her so hard that she toppled over the bed like a cartoon character. I am in full on panic mode now. I didn’t mean to do that. I run out the house like a toddler who stole cookies before dinner time.
TLDR Played wingman and had terrible sex with a crazy woman. Then shoved crazy woman really hard and ran.
thecupwars: I fucking hate this comment section. Dude got RAPED. You're all disgusting for laughing.
ApocalypseSpokesman: Oh for god's sake
Calling shit like this rape doesn't make it as bad as physically forcing sex onto a person, it just dilutes the impact of the term.
Or I guess rape is sometimes horrible and violent, and sometimes it's innocuous and funny. Was that your intention?
thecupwars: If you think this is funny there's something wrong with you.
ApocalypseSpokesman: Of course it's funny.
And "something wrong with you" is a stupid, pointless thing to say, because whether or not there is something wrong with me, or you, or anyone has no impact on my argument, which is that the over-zealous application of big, bad words like "rape" only serves to drain them of their force.
Society has a visceral hatred of a person being held down and penetrated against their will, and rightly so. But stumbling into a dumb, unsatisfying sexual encounter is not in the same country as that. It's idiotic to act like they're similar things.
It's the difference between stabbing a guy and slapping him across the face. The difference between assault and "assault."
thecupwars: By the way, if your definition of rape is that, then does that mean you think men can't be raped by woman?
What about statuary rape? Surely the random 13 year old kid who had sex with the hot 30 year old teacher wanted it right, then that makes it okay right, because he wanted it, right? Your logic makes no sense, being manipulated into having sex with someone is still rape, and also, motherfucking also, op says in their post that when he tried to leave, she grabbed him. Of course op was strong enough to push her away but that's still trying to force oneself onto another, and that's happening after the fact that she just raped him.
Not all rape is violent, and I hope you never go through that like me and a lot others did.
- edit
Wait why the fuck am I explaining this to you you're a piece of worthless shit who thinks rape is funny
ApocalypseSpokesman: Ad hominem is the opposite of intelligent discourse.
If I was to say that you were a hyperbolic, emotion-first, logic-never mess of a person who wields your victimhood like a bag of tools, that would be wrong of me, not only because I don't know that to be true of you, but it has no bearing on the conversation. Even though your choice of language is highly emotion-laden.
You see?
And yes, I think statutory rape, even in the precise situation you mention, is not nearly as bad of an act as holding someone down and forcing it on them. How on Earth could you argue like they're the same? It's senseless.
OP's situation is even further away from rape. We rate negative acts by the damage caused, not by some insipid technicalities.
thecupwars: Sure, I can also do intelligent discourse.
Firstly, let's agree that we're not going to agree on each others views and thoughts so let's get that out of the way.
You wouldn't be wrong to say that I am emotional, all I wrote points to that already anyways, though I do not agree on the "wielding it like a bag of tools", it's more about the perspective it gave to me, it's why I am and can think this way. What I meant was, one shouldn't have to go through something like to be able to see things from this perspective but I can understand why it got conveyed the way you understood it.
I can't understand how statuary rape is not nearly as bad as forcing, sure they're different due to the added trauma of violence, but it's still just as bad. We're talking about a kid getting raped and completely changing the course of their life.
About OPs situation, what would you have thought if you were in that same situation? I'm gonna assume that you wouldn't have sex and leave immediately. Feel free to correct me on this. Obviously OP didn't feel strong enough to leave, and had sex, not because he wanted to have sex, but because he wanted this to be over. Okay, this is not as bad as physically being forced, but isn't there a manipulation going on here?
ApocalypseSpokesman: >I can't understand how statuary rape is not nearly as bad as forcing, sure they're different due to the added trauma of violence, but it's still just as bad. We're talking about a kid getting raped and completely changing the course of their life.
A kid getting "raped." Entering into an act out of one's own volition, regardless of the age, makes it an entirely different state of affairs from having it forced on you. The terror, the pain, the feeling that you're being consumed by a monster--those are 80+% of what makes rape a bad thing. What does the kid have? "Oh, I wasn't really emotionally prepared for that, in hindsight." It may be bad, but it's worlds away. It's not for nothing that up until a few years ago it was called by a different name with a lesser prison sentence and a completely different social impact.
If I was in the situation the OP mentions, I may have left, I may have stayed, it kind of depends on my state of mind at the time. But after it was over, I almost definitely would have shared it as a funny story with my closest friends. The guy was never in any danger, he didn't even get his feelings hurt. Boo-hoo I got manipulated. I get manipulated every time I interact with someone. It's just life.
thecupwars: > What does the kid have? "Oh, I wasn't really emotionally prepared for that, in hindsight." It may be bad, but it's worlds away.
Would you still be able to think this way if it happened to your kids? I seriously hope it never happens but, food for thought.
ApocalypseSpokesman: I should hope I remain rational regardless of what happens to me.
Although I am aware that people who have negative experiences often bring an emotional and poorly reasoned approach to a topic, I realize that we generally don't want such people to be in the position to make decisions.
ETA: For example, if I had a child with Downs Syndrome, I may start thinking that that was a really important topic that everyone should be concerned with, but that doesn't make it so.
thecupwars: Well there's that, we can only agree to disagree, have a nice night.
| 12 | 133 | |
1670561144 | 1670568426 | t3_zgn5zk | t5_2to41 | 6 | Rainy_Skipper: TIFU by throwing food
Today at lunch was just like any normal day. I got my food and sat down with my friends. Well one of my friends threw a piece of coleslaw into my potatoes. I laugh a little then throw it back at him. It went over him and hit the floor. Then i notice a girl at the table behind him looking directly at my. I didn't know 100% if she was looking at me so i just tried avoiding eye contact. I'm not even joking when i say she was turned around looking at me for over 5 minutes. I start getting worried. Then eventually she comes over and asks "did you throw food at me?" I say no and explained what happened. She said "i don't believe you" and i replied "i don't even know you why would I try to throw food at you?" Then she said "because your annoying" and i just sat there for a moment and she said "you better watch your back" and went back to her table. Me and my friends had a little laugh right after. I'm just very confused why she got so mad when it was sitting on the floor not even near her.
tldr i threw food at my friend at lunch but it went near a girl and she got mad because she thought i threw it at her
Devittraisedto2: Wouldn't you be pissed as well if you thought someone attempted to hit you with food when you're just minding your own business?
Who the fuck even throws food at other people?
Rainy_Skipper: Yeah i guess i can see this but i explained what happened to her nicely and there would be no reason for me to do that to her
Devittraisedto2: Chances are she doesn't believe you, she probably thinks you made up a lie so that you'd be in less trouble with her
Snyper1982: Trouble with her? Lol. She is entitled to think what she wants but how is in trouble?
Devittraisedto2: Probably she could've went to a teacher or principal and reported OP that OP threw food at her
Snyper1982: She doesn't sound like the type. And if she did, then What about her making threats? He has plenty of witnesses that saw what happened and heard her threaten him...
Devittraisedto2: Again, hypothetically anyway.
We don't know the type of person the girl is anyway, so we don't know what's the outcome.
Snyper1982: Obviously... I am just saying that if she is threatening him, then goes and tattles, that doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean I guess she could be an idiot though. They are everywhere after all.
| 9 | 0.666667 | |
1672358762 | 1672418710 | t3_zyl1x9 | t5_2to41 | 2,145 | redejonghe: TIFU by eating Hot Sauce called BUTTHOLE DESTROYER
I generally like hot sauces but have never ventured down the road of SUPER HOT SAUCES. As a gift for Christmas I received a bottle of Steve O's Butthole Destroyer.
I had tasted just a touch to my finger last week, sure it was hot but I figured I'd give it a shot later.
First four ingredients: Scorpion, Naga Jolokia and Carolina Reaper Chili Peppers...
So last night I heated up a bowl of leftover taco meat and threw in a handful of shredded cheese...Hey I'll put a dash of the hot sauce in it! A little splat the size of a nickel hit the bowl...I'm like oops but ok.
Started eating my concoction...yeah hot but not unbearable.
20-30 minutes later my gut was on fire....
45 minutes in I started to get dizzy, lightheaded almost a little buzzed or high.
1 hour in and I got the chills, could not get warm despite the burning sensation moving toward my lower intestine. I had a heavy sweatshirt and sweatpants on!
2 hours in and I feel it speeding toward the exit...
I head to the can and unleash a torrent of liquid fire out my ass. I finish up and go to chill...here it comes again...but there's nothing going, the urgent need to go but nothing! It's like my asshole has the dry heaves!
11PM head to bed and here comes the third wave, off to the can and this time its WAY WORSE....liquid magna! I finally finish and go back to bed and finally fall asleep.
This mornings movement was just a little tingly...I'm on the mend!
TLDR: Ate hot sauce call Butthole Destroyer and it wasn't just a name...it was the TRUTH!
TriumphDaWonderPooch: Years ago I went to lunch with 3 other guys from the office. One was from India, one from Puerto Rico, and the 3rd from the suburbs of Philly. He and I are similar - I’m from the suburbs of Buffalo. We went to a hole-in-the-wall burrito place. The guys from India and PR liked spicy stuff. After we got our burritos we passed a rack with all sorts of hot sauces. The guys who liked spicy stuff grabbed two, one of which was called Hot Sauce de Meurta (I’ve probably butchered the spelling), or hot sauce of death.
The Indian guy puts some on his burrito (which already has jalapeños in it), and after a bite or two starts sweating. The guy from PR tries some and starts breathing heavily to try to cool off his mouth. The Philly guy intends to try a little, but the stuff glops into his burrito. He *thinks* he’s scooped most of it out and takes a bite. Starts complaining about. It being able to feel his tongue or lips. I’m no dummy - I avoided it.
The Philly guy ends up going home early - probably the 3rd time in his 20 years on the job he went home early. Comes in the next morning telling us it was as bad going out as it was going in…
Jacktheforkie: I live in a part of the uk known for having lots of Gurkhas, they like spice in general, they also like sharing, one of the companies I worked at the cleaners shared some curry with everyone, most of the people at the company were Nepali, there were two brits, the big boss and I, boss had to go home because he wasn’t able to work for living on the shitter, I was in mild discomfort and finished off a 4 pint bottle of milk but still working, everyone else was basically fine as they can handle that
Steven1789: Seemed weird to me (an American stuck in a place that uses the imperial system and not the metric system), but milk in the UK appears to be marketed by the number of pints as well as liters.
OP referenced a “4 pint bottle of milk” as opposed to a half gallon.
https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shop/gb/groceries/dairy-eggs-and-chilled/milk-fresh-milk
I’ll assume the beer pint is the standard bearer for all measurements.
Must be hard for parents to dose medicine for kids when it’s 1/32 of a pint or some other small measure.
tarion_914: And in Canada it's measured in litres.
Szydlikj: Bags*
girlwiththemonkey: We don’t all have bags of milk in Canada. I live in Newfoundland I didn’t even know bags milk were a thing until I visited Ontario.
Szydlikj: Huh, didn’t know that. Was just trying to make humour
girlwiththemonkey: A lot of people don’t. It’s not a big deal. I just like to let people know that we’re not all crazy
ElectroStaticSpeaker: >I just like to let people know that we’re not all crazy
Pssshhhhttt. Nice try. We got you this time!
| 10 | 214.5 | |
1670562275 | 1670563304 | t3_zgnjfp | t5_2to41 | 10 | lucky99994thredditor: TIFU by drinking a beer at 3 am
I'm pretty much a casual beer drinker, so I've had a few beers at parties or after work, but nothing over the top. Yesterday I went to the gym and was having my usual session, then decided to go home and drink a beer.
I went to the fridge and grabbed a few beers, and I was about to place them out when I heard my own footsteps. I thought it was an unfamiliar tap at first. "Oh, it's the beer guy", I thought.
As I opened the fridge to take a drink, my beer flew out and landed on the floor, splashing me with the beer. As I looked at the damage, I realized I was actually the beer guy. I went over and grabbed the beer off the ground and walked back over to the fridge. My beer was still rolling around on the floor. I put the beer back on the floor and put it back in the fridge, and I went back and took a drink of water.
After I finished that drink, I poured the water out of the fridge and tried to put the beer back where it had gotten out of the fridge, but the beer was not where it had been. I finally figured it out, and I just threw it away.
TL;DR: Went to the gym, drank a beer at 3 am, now I'm the beer guy.
Sea-Masterpiece5819: Tf did I just read
DaddyMatt69: An alcoholics memoir.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1672360014 | 1672372030 | t3_zylklk | t5_2to41 | 907 | throwaway-2819381: TIFU - Possibly - Sex With Trans Girl
[removed]
Master_Maniac: Only thing to be worried about is not wrapping up bud.
If the two of you clicked, and everything was consensual, all is good. A person is more than their equipment.
If anything, I'd suggest you talk to her and see about an actual date, and possibly talk about it with her. Maybe acknowledge that it's unfamiliar territory but you had a good time.
Murder_your_mom: My guy, maybe it’s just me. But dating someone who’s willing to hookup with strangers unprotected doesn’t really seem like a good idea…
bassistb0y: tbf isn't he also someone who's willing to hook up with strangers?
jaxsotsllamallama: It’s like the men who want to fuck a new woman everyday but doesn’t want a woman with a body count higher then 3.
Murder_your_mom: Yeah but it’s not like that, I don’t care to fuck a new woman everyday. And I wouldn’t really put forth the effort for a woman who wants a new man everyday. I think that’s pretty reasonable. I also think that telling someone to date a person who has unprotected sex with literal strangers is not good advice. That’s advice that gets you STD’s. And it isn’t some moral high ground it’s common sense.
jaxsotsllamallama: I understand that part- and I should have explained better…I meant it more in a comparison. Like BOTH parties had unprotected sex with a stranger but your statement implies that just she is the problem for being so willing to hook up. Much in the same way a man wants to fuck many women but only wants that woman to have been with a few….why are the women with high numbers less valuable but a man with a high number isn’t.
Murder_your_mom: Well to me it’s not even necessarily about the number, but about if they were responsible. I mean I’m not a woman but the idea of being vulnerable to a stranger and not physically able to defend myself from anything unwanted doesn’t sound safe. So sleeping with a stranger doesn’t seem very responsible. Having dated a lot of people? That’s responsible, and a lot less likely to result in STD’s.
jaxsotsllamallama: Did he also not sleep with a stranger with no protection?
Murder_your_mom: You keep bringing up the fact they both did it, I know. I didn’t cast blame on anyone or judge anyone I just said the advice to try and “date” A PERSON who sleeps with strangers probably isn’t good advice. Just for clarification since you apparently need it spelled out for you multiple times, I didn’t single out any person or gender. I commented on advice given by another redditor.
jaxsotsllamallama: Lol if multiple people all read your comment the same way…maybe it’s the way you worded it? Either way it’s not that deep.
Murder_your_mom: Or maybe it’s just people jumping on the bandwagon so they can downvote and be upset. Or maybe reading comprehension is lost to civilization, the world may never know…
jaxsotsllamallama: You’re the only one that seems to be upset here. Have a good night. I’m sorry I offended you with my lack of reading comprehension and my need to reply to your public comment on a public forum.
Murder_your_mom: If repeatedly explaining myself is upset or offended, than I am in fact guilty of both.
| 14 | 64.785714 | |
1672360457 | 1672369181 | t3_zylqw7 | t5_2to41 | 50 | Visual_Mission_1459: TIFU by trying to hook up with my childhood bestfriend
[removed]
[deleted]: Why tf are you getting wasted as a fifteen year old child? That's the fuck up here
Visual_Mission_1459: had a rough childhood and also have friends that do drugs and drink sooo thats your answer lol
[deleted]: So don't drink any more. No one is forcing you to. Bad choices lead to bad results, good choices usually lead to good results. You're fifteen. Keep drinking like that and you're in for a short and sad life.
Visual_Mission_1459: its not that easy. the problem is im really unstable and i do shit impulsively and recklessly without even thinking. if it was so easy to just stop i wouldnt have made this post
[deleted]: It is that easy. Stop making excuses and start making better choices. No one can do it for you, and while I'm sure you have trauma, your traumas don't dictate your choices unless you let them.
Visual_Mission_1459: it really isnt trust me ive tried to quit so many times. i started selfharming at 10/11 yrs old but here i am at 15 and still doing it even when i made promises, threw out blades and swore to myself i'd never do it again. im trying i really am i even cleaned my entire room and have been clean for selfharm for a few days. i am trying really hard to get better but i just dont have a support system..
[deleted]: That's a good step. But finding something to replace alcohol is key. Alcohol abuse just makes you depressed.
Visual_Mission_1459: well the issue is its not rly alcohol that i abuse that much. i take pills to get high and i smoke weed and i cut myself or even burn myself occassionally. its an addiction to harm myself in any way possible ive even desensitized myself from gore and im getting fucked up each day. this is tiring..
[deleted]: Okay, so, this is you asking for help. I'm just an internet stranger. But I can promise you that you won't find help hurting yourself. You're three years from full independence. You'll make it.
| 10 | 5 | |
1670567474 | 1670696787 | t3_zgp6da | t5_2to41 | 95 | WonTaPooSee: TIFU by mistaking my autogynephilia for gender dysphoria
Hi everyone, I wanted to share a story about a time when I really messed up. I hope that by sharing my experience, others can learn from my mistake and avoid going down the same path.
A few years ago, I started to feel like I didn't fit in as a man. I felt uncomfortable in my own body, and I often wished that I could be a woman. I thought that I was experiencing gender dysphoria, so I started to explore the idea of transitioning to a female gender identity.
However, as I started to learn more about gender dysphoria and transgender experiences, I realized that my feelings were not the same as what most people with gender dysphoria experience. Instead, I realized that I was experiencing a condition called autogynephilia, which is a type of paraphilia in which a person is sexually aroused by the thought or image of themselves as a woman.
I was shocked and confused by this discovery. I had spent so much time and energy trying to understand and come to terms with my feelings, and now I realized that I had been completely mistaken. I felt like I had wasted a lot of time and caused myself unnecessary distress.
Looking back, I realize that I should have done more research and sought out professional help before jumping to conclusions about my gender identity. I also should have been more open-minded and less dismissive of other people's experiences.
I'm now in a much better place, and I've learned a lot from my mistake. I hope that by sharing my story, others can learn from my experience and avoid making the same mistake.
TL;DR I thought I was transgender but really I just have a fetish
UltraComfort: Autogynephilia has been pretty thoroughly discredited as a theory. I'd urge you to reconsider whether you're an autogynephile, OP.
I recommend reading [this article](https://juliaserano.medium.com/making-sense-of-autogynephilia-debates-73d9051e88d3) by Julia Serano.
KungFuTuna: It's pretty invalidating telling OP he's not really feeling how he feels and that his identity isn't a thing.
Carniequeue: That’s not what this comment is saying at all. It’s fine that OP ultimately decided he was not trans. But in doing so, he doesn’t need to lend credence to a debunked theory that is used to discredit trans people on a daily basis.
Many trans people can feel very turned on or have erotic thoughts about themselves being recognized (or just recognizing themselves) as their preferred gender. This does not make their identity a fetish. It does not make their gender dysphoria any less real.
In the end, OP seems to no longer be questioning their gender nor be struggling with gender identity. That’s great. But I do t think it would be hurtful or invalidating to recognize that what he went through was a genuine part of the process of coming to where he is now and not a near miss of a fetish almost leading him into a mistake as he seems to be suggesting in this post.
Figgy20000: It's incredibly hurtful and invalidating to just call his lived experience a debunked theory that doesn't exist, and clearly he isn't trying to discredit anyone. What is wrong with you. You're unbelievably direspectful to the people you pretend to be trying to protect and are just as horrible as the Transphobes.
CouldntThinkOfClever: Autogynephilia is 100% a debunked theory
InevitableStill9391: OK, say the person who coined the term autogynephilia is wildly misguided in their understanding of the subject and is talking shit, which is clear. That doesn't debunk the reality that there are absolutely people who feel sexually aroused by the idea or image of themselves as the opposite gender and 'autogynephilia' is the word we all use to describe that fetish. Call it autogynephilia or call is something else but those people exist all over the world. So the theories of the person who coined the term have been thoroughly debunked, but the fact that people with that particular fetish exist everywhere absolutely hasn't.
CouldntThinkOfClever: Yeah it is. If it does exist it's excessively rare the way you phrase it.
InevitableStill9391: Yeah it is what? I didn't say it wasn't rare. It very likely is. Many things are rare or unusual but exist all over the world.
CouldntThinkOfClever: "exist everywhere" implies frequent
InevitableStill9391: Something can exist all over the world and still be rare. Like you can have a rare genetic disease that exists in almost every country of the world but is still extremely rare.
But I feel like you're focusing on something I've already clarified and ignoring the actual point of my original comment.
CouldntThinkOfClever: What you're doing is ignoring the precise nature of the debunking of AGP
InevitableStill9391: I don't understand what you mean? Please explain.
CouldntThinkOfClever: The big reason it was debunked: many cis women masturbate to their own image. AGP is only significant when you ignore what cis women do
InevitableStill9391: What? OK, I'm completely lost. So because there are cis women who masturbate to pictures of themselves, this debunks the belief that autogynephilia exists? This is a confusing af concept your posing to me as is, but if women are masturbating to pictures of themselves, they're not being sexually aroused by the idea of themselves as the opposite sex. It's a female masturbating to themselves while being female (which I find extremely odd, but can easily believe happens) so how does this debunk autogynephilia in any way?
CouldntThinkOfClever: AGP has been used as an explanation of gender dysphoria. That's what it is at its core. AGP in original theory and how it's been used has been used as an attempt to debunk someone's "transness". If AGP were actually a debunking of transness, then I guess many cis women are actually trans men.
InevitableStill9391:
>AGP has been used as an explanation of gender dysphoria. That's what it is at its core. AGP in original theory and how it's been used has been used as an attempt to debunk someone's "transness".
I understand that autogynephilia has been used to discredit the validity of "transness" and I think that's nonsense. I believe both exist and are both as valid as each other. But that doesn't discredit the reality of autogynephilia. Just because a group of people feel invalidated by someone else's identity, it doesn't debunk the reality of their identity, does it?
>If AGP were actually a debunking of transness, then I guess many cis women are actually trans men.
And I don't understand how cis women who masturbate to pictures of themselves relates to this at all. If the woman were dressing up as men, taking photos and masturbating to the images of themselves dressed as male then I see how you would include it, but otherwise I don't see the correlation?
CouldntThinkOfClever: Cis women who masturbate to their own image is identical to trans women who masturbate to mental images of their own self as a woman
InevitableStill9391: Well yes. If you believe both transgender people and people with autogynephila exist at the same time, then a trans woman who masturbates to pictures of themselves is just a woman masturbating to pictures of themselves and likely just an odd thing people do regardless of whether they are trans or not. The trans woman is not being turned on by the fact they're presenting as a woman, they're likely getting the same satisfaction the cis woman is getting from doing it. No cis woman is looking at themselves and thinking "I look so much like a woman today" and getting off over it, they're obviously getting something else out of it. I assumed we were talking about photos, but it could be that they're getting sexual satisfaction by watching themselves masturbate in the mirror, which may just add some extra sensory gratification to the act for them, which is far more likely and has nothing to do with sex or gender. Someone with autogynephila doing this is being sexually stimulated directly from the fact they are dressed as the opposite gender/imagining themselves as the opposite gender.
But none of this thoroughly debunks autogynephila.
Thanks for the convo anyway, have a good day!
| 19 | 5 | |
1670569604 | 1670571136 | t3_zgptp3 | t5_2to41 | 1 | shaquille-oatmeal22: TIFU by not paying my rent on time
So I had my rent money saved in a pot and was ready to send but as I was travelling and needed the money all of a sudden so instead of trying to temporarily borrow from elsewhere (which I could've done easily but pride got in the way) and sending my rent money to my landlord I spent the rent money instead in Paris.
Then paid the money due plus the full next month about 6 days later (after I got paid) and thought I would be ok but hadn't communicated in the meantime (stupid fucking thing to do but I seem to just run away from problems/think if I ignore it it'll go away) and my landlord let other people rent it out until February 2nd so now I have to move all my stuff out and stay in a hotel/with friends for 50 days which is really fucking expensive because of Christmas + New Years and then move it all back in at Feb when I could've just sent it and paid my friends back for drinks or whatever.
Morals of this story that I've learnt:
PAY YOUR FUCKING RENT
IGNORING FACING A PROBLEM ISN'T GOING TO MAKE ANYTHING BETTER
At the end of the day it sucks but silver linings are that I have enough money to stay elsewhere, it's not a huge amount of time and sometimes you just have to go through shit like this and learn the hard way for it to actually click which leads to better decisions in the future.
I'm still young (20M) so here's to learning and paying rent on time in future 😂
TLDR: Didn't pay my rent on time, have to move out and then back in and spent 3x the amount
botfiddler: Strange story, without context of which region of the world or country. I assume USA, since I can't imagine you could and would get kicked out that fast in any European country.
shaquille-oatmeal22: Indonesia 😊
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1670570234 | 1670619776 | t3_zgq0ah | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by snooping on my boss’s email. I’m scared I’ll be fired.
[deleted]
Shiny_Grapefruit: Personally I’d try and get ahead of it and privately fess up and show remorse. That said he should change the password regardless and not have this no secret open to his email vibe, that’s really weird for a boss, especially when it’s clear he didn’t mean it.
whydididoit11: Thanks, I’m definitely feeling this way. I just don’t know what the outcome would be. I now know that he wasn’t being honest about the “no secrets” policy.
sg12412: Never ever admit to something before you're accused. I know this isn't court but treat it the same way, you're innocent until proven guilty. You go announce that you are the one that did what defense does that leave you?
whydididoit11: Thanks for the advice. I haven’t said anything yet.. just going back and forth on it. The only thing right now is the guilt is absolutely killing me.
sg12412: Did you find out anything about him that changes the way you feel about him? Was there anything illegal in there? He said in the past you could look, so technically you've done nothing wrong. I wouldn't worry about the guilt so much.
whydididoit11: No I didn’t, mostly I was looking at stuff pertaining to me. I didn’t see anything sensitive, I’m just so nervous now, because I feel like my supervisor is giving me the cold shoulder today.
sg12412: I'm willing to bet that you're reading to much into it because you feel guilty. Just relax and let it go and see what tomorrow brings.
| 8 | 0.875 | |
1671402244 | 1672376805 | t3_zpa6q8 | t5_2to41 | 13 | Msboohoo: TIFU by calling my narcissistic ex repeatedly
He blocked me. I have bpd so major abandonment issues. I kept calling cuz I was in a state of denial, confusion, and shock that he actually blocked me.
I felt so empowered with our last text conversation. I told him what he is, called him out on everything. Probably caused him narcissistic collapse or at the very least injury. I didn't want revenge. I just didn't want him to hurt me anymore. I felt that I had lost many battles but had won this war.
Fast forward a few days, now I feel bad, tried texting, no response. A couple more days go by, I'm drunk, smoked a joint feeling...strange. This was when I decided to give him a call(s) Way too many. I don't even know why I kept calling. I knew I was blocked after the first call didn't go through.
Now I've never blocked anyone before so I just assumed my calls are disappearing into the abyss so I had no fucking clue that he could see all my missed calls!! I only know this because I just discovered on my phone I can see blocked numbers. What the hell is the purpose of blocking then? You're not really blocked! They can see your blocked calls, your blocked texts. I'm so fucking crushed. I feel deflated. Defeated once again.
TL;DR Because I was blocked, I didn't know he could see when (or how many times) I called him
Webofshadows1: You’re calling him a narcissist, but you’re calling him multiple times while blocked? The fuck up is you won’t leave him alone. The relationship is over and talking to him won’t fix your abandonment issues. Seriously, go to therapy because you sound out of control. Right now, you look like the problem and you’re going to earn yourself a restraining order.
Msboohoo: Nah, there won't be a restraining order. I put him in jail once already for cutting me with a knife and punching me in the face when we were living together. I'm the cop caller, not him
Webofshadows1: Glad you’re out of that toxic relationship, but please don’t breathe more life into it. You walked away from the situation and should not look back.
Msboohoo: You a bot too? What are you doing on reddit right at the exact moment I happen to be looking at this old post?
Webofshadows1: What? Maybe you meant to respond to someone else. I’m not a bot.
Msboohoo: Prove it
Webofshadows1: Prove it? This has gotten weird. Good luck and good day to you ma’am.
Msboohoo: Haha thought so bot.
| 9 | 1.444444 | |
1672364455 | 1672369649 | t3_zynb4k | t5_2to41 | 423 | nothing4everx: TIFU by sending money to a stranger on a dating app
i met this guy on hinge and we were texting pretty often for about 2 weeks. he asked me out on a date a few days ago and i agreed. he lives about an hour away from me, so last night asked if he could meet me somewhere half way. he agreed but asked if i could send him gas money but he would pay me back when he got paid. i was running late getting ready so i kinda just sent it without thinking too hard. hes texting me that he left and that he was excited to meet me soon and all this bullshit but as soon as i walk over to the spot we agreed to meet he texted me “i’m at home but thanks for the money!” i called venmo and got the charges disputed but i just feel stupid. i know i’m not actually stupid and he took advantage of my kindness/naivety but i don’t wanna tell anyone cause i feel so embarrassed LMAO
tldr: i’ve been talking to this guy who lives an hour away, we agreed to meet halfway but he needed gas money. as soon as i got there he texts me “i’m home but thanks for the $$$!”
special_kitty: That's not so bad. My mom met this scammer on Facebook and fell in love. He's an engineer located in Oslo, Norway yet his selfie was in shorts and a t-shirt. He's Australian but grew up in the US and owns a Lamborghini and a Mercedes. He's flying private to Detroit this weekend where she will pick him up. She went to Detroit last weekend during the snowstorm and got a hotel but his plane got delayed. He wanted 3k for the flight because he doesn't have access to his credit cards. He also wants $2,300 for a laptop and an Apple watch. She knows he's a scammer but, "They worked it out" and "He's going to be a good father to me because I need a father." I'm 37.
Tanagrabelle: Hoo, one of those "Then I'd have to admit I'm wrong" issues for you mother, eh? Pride is a prickly thing. Hugs to you!
special_kitty: Yep. There's nothing more that we can do except let this thing play out. I'm trying to have a sense of humor about it.
| 4 | 105.75 | |
1670574919 | 1670577446 | t3_zgrgno | t5_2to41 | 52 | aitch87: TIFU by thinking my laptop was defective for an entire year
So I have a pretty old gaming laptop (in laptop years), and for the past year I though it was on its way out. Seemingly at random, the screen would turn off and on and the keyboard would become unresponsive. After a few seconds it would turn back on and everything would then be fine. This could happen multiple times, or just once and occasionally it would be so bad the laptop was basically unusable.
So, since it had started happening, I have spent, literally days and days, weeks and weeks of troubleshooting on it. My only minor clue to what might be causing it, is it seemed to happen mainly when I was typing. I should note, this laptop is mainly used my 8 year old boy to play Roblox, minecraft etc. I have disabled the onboard graphics, replaced the keyboard. Done a lot more software tweaks (thinking it could be GPU settings) and taking the entire thing to pieces down to the motherboard trying to fix this several times. I can’t stress how much time I’ve actually sunk into this.
The strange thing is my son has never complained about this, and when asked he’s told me nothing is wrong with it. I made the assumption that either the games he was playing was perfectly demanding just the right amount of GPU’ness that it wasn’t being affected, or he never used the keys on the keyboard, or some combination of keys which was causing it. I was wrong.
The other day, I was doing something boring on the laptop, I forget what, and low and behold it started happening. I don’t no why, but I thought popped into my head. I wonder if the Wi-Fi or Bluetooth from my apple watch was causing the issue. So, I went ahead and held the face down to the laptop and started waving it over various parts of the laptop…. nothing. Then another thought came to be. What about the reasonably strong strap magnet? So again, I started wafting it around the laptop, and low and behold, the screen flickered on and off. The moment of realisation was a mix of relief and how fucking stupid am I? Not entirely sure what the component is that’s causing the screen to turn off but it’s on the front left, where the light indicators are.
Now I can use my laptop again.
Tldr: thought my laptop was knackered for a year, turns out the magnet on my Apple Watch strap was causing all the problems.
wirral_guy: It might be using a magnetic switch to turn the screen off when you shut it. Use something magnetic to see if you can find the actual magnet in the screen bezel - the switch will be in the same place on the base.
aitch87: Yep, thats likely the cause. I just take my watch off now lol
| 3 | 17.333333 | |
1672365243 | 1672408558 | t3_zynm09 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Vegetable-Rest7205: TIFU by procrastinating my highschool courses
So for a bit of context, when COVID started, I went into online schooling. I did a program called TVO ILC, which basically provides me with full courses that I read through, I read assignment documents, complete them, and hand them in to be marked by someone who works for TVO. None of the assignments have due dates, you are just given the course and told to finish it.
I was under the impression, due to never seeing it over the two years that I worked on it, that the courses could be completed whenever. Now, because of the lack of structure I ended up falling behind about 4 courses (half a school years worth) after 2 years. I finally got to start school again this year. I am supposed to be fully in 11th grade. However, I was about 90% of the way through 4 of my 10th grade courses so in school they just put me in the remaining grade 10 courses I wasn't working on online, and some 11th grade courses.
However, because of the stress of school, it was hard to find time to do my online schoolwork. Today, I finally got the motivation to do it, due to it being Christmas break. I get on the TVO ILC website, "You are not enrolled in any courses."
So apparently the courses expire after 10 months with 0 warning, no information stating this, etc. These courses were $50 each, X3 = $150. So not only did I waste $150 of my mom's money, I wasted 6 months on these courses and will now have to either completely restart or god knows what. I don't know what to do. I'm yet to tell my dad.
TL;DR: I procrastinated my online courses I was 95% finished
so long that they expired, costing my parents $150 and putting me another 6 months behind.
special_kitty: Drop out and start studying for your GED. IMO, a high school diploma is overrated.
Vegetable-Rest7205: I wish. My parents would never let me. If I could do this I 100% would. All of my hobbies and career interests don't technically even require a highschool diploma. But again, parents are firm believers that highschool > uni / college / trade school are the only ways I should go.
bros402: What are your hobbies and interests?
Vegetable-Rest7205: Photography, digital art, scuba diving, video production, graphic design. All of those.
bros402: Getting a HS diploma is a good idea just so you know that piece of paper. You can do most of those hobbies while you are in school.
Have you ever done a career interest inventory to see what kind of jobs may interest you that require a degree - i'm not saying "GO TO COLLEGE OR ELSE" - just saying "It is worth taking a quick look at possible careers/thinking about them for a minute"
Vegetable-Rest7205: I don't think I've ever done a career interest inventory before, no. Not saying I don't think I should go to college, just that being a year behind in school really sucks.
bros402: With the classes, is it the kind of thing you could just rush your way through now that you know it and finish it in a month or two?
Here's a decent one interest inventory - it's a short one compared to ones that a college can provide
https://www.careeronestop.org/Toolkit/Careers/interest-assessment.aspx
Check level of preparation needed - the example careers are examples of careers that require that level of preparation, so make sure to check each level! You can check descriptions of each career here: https://www.onetonline.org/
little means that some require HS diploma - stuff like waiter, lumberjack, things that you can pick up in a few days to a month
some preparation means that you usually need a HS diploma (sometimes things that have apprenticeships) - security guards, customer service reps, bank tellers, etc
medium prep means that you need vocational school, on the job training, or an associates degree - stuff like electricians, barbers, court reporters, etc.
high prep means that you most likely need a bachelors - engineer, teacher, human resources, etc.
extensive preparation is stuff that needs a masters and above - doctor, lawyer, pharmacist, etc.
Vegetable-Rest7205: A lot of the jobs they recommended seem nowhere close to anything I'd be interested in doing. And yeah, the courses are sort of like that however the last assignment I did was at least 6 months ago so I won't remember a ton.
bros402: You'd be surprised at how much you remember once you start working at it again.
Definitely think about checking out a community college in your area when you graduate - since they usually have programs in stuff like video production and graphic design
or if you are interested in stuff like setting up projection and stuff like that, contact an audio-visual company in your area and get on their freelancer list
| 10 | 0.8 | |
1672368781 | 1672426577 | t3_zyowxz | t5_2to41 | 3,087 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my partner about the ingredients in his drink
[deleted]
FeelingFloor2083: well whats in the fucking drink?
Dzyu: Let me massage my temples, cross my eyes, squint real hard and try to read his mind... Ok, here it comes!
It's a cherry and peach martini. He loves it, but feels a little insecure about it. Has gotten mocked for liking girly drinks before by friends and exes. He asks to have it in a whiskey glass to try to go under the radar.
Anyway, that's not even the main issue, here. Ever since they got together she's been kinda pushy. It wasn't bad at all, at first - he knows he could open up more, but she's grown much more inquisitive and it's starting to feel controlling and judgy sometimes. He has the need to stand up for himself, set some boundaries, but he's not great at communicating it... And maybe it was a stupid decision to make a stand over the drink, but he really didn't want to bring attention to it even though he knows he was a bit silly and it sorta just happened. And then she dragged us away from the party over this imsignificant bs - it's just a fucking drink! Why couldn't she just fucking leave it alone? I let it all loose after that and said too much. And I definitely didn't mean it *that* way. She's twisting my words. Maybe these are red flags. Fuck, I really do love her, though...
Sweet_Cherry_Wine: Ugggh. I got flashbacks to a very similar past relationship when I was reading her post. Even the language she used felt eerily similar to my ex’s, always pushing me to share or do whatever he wanted and his responses to me trying to set boundaries. “I’m just confused,” “why won’t you tell me this or do that?,” “why is this such a big deal to you?,” “why, why, why?,” “I guess I fucked up,” “I’m sorry I’m the bad guy for just wanting to know/wanting you to do x.” Then they play the victim and cause a scene just like she did because you dared try to tell them no or set a boundary. When you’re with someone who consistently pushes or breaks boundaries, sometimes a small thing can be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I’m guessing her being pushy about the drink was his camel’s straw. Being with someone who has no understanding of privacy and boundaries within a relationship is absolutely exhausting even if you do love them.
plsdontnerfme: You really couldnt have said It any Better, i feel bad for the guy, this Is exactly how i image the situation played out
Sweet_Cherry_Wine: Her other comments follow the narrative you and I are talking about from the perspective of the boundary pusher. She’s getting plenty of validation elsewhere in the thread from people who believe her side so I’m sure she’ll continue to believe she’s 100% the victim.
shadeofmisery: She's not, though. That's the thing. She's not the victim here.
Sweet_Cherry_Wine: I totally agree, but that’s what she seems to want to believe. She wants people here to tell her that she’s not the aggressor in this situation (but being pushy and ignoring/breaking boundaries is a form of aggression). She wants to hear that her boyfriend was a jerk who overreacted. I’m not saying her boyfriend is justified in being a jerk if he was, but I feel for him if this is part of a larger pattern of her ignoring or smashing his boundaries.
Djeece: Wtf I don't understand how asking what's in your drink is some kind of a boundary thing? She's not asking about his family issues or something. Feels like a perfectly iñnoffensive question.
Sweet_Cherry_Wine: It’s not about asking what’s in his drink. It’s about her refusal to accept no for an answer when she asked and he said he didn’t want to say what was in it. A normal, healthy response is to say “okay, i accept that you don’t want to talk about it right now” and move on, not to badger the other person about it until they snap.
Djeece: "I accept you don't want to talk about the ingredients in your drink?" Who the hell thinks like that?
Like, I would never push someone to talk about family, traumatic expériences, physical defects, etc. But I don't see what's wrong with pushing to know that you put ginger ale in your muskow mule.
Magnusg: It's his mom's secret recipe.
| 12 | 257.25 | |
1670588042 | 1670698630 | t3_zgvqw6 | t5_2to41 | 7,109 | 1_am_not_a_b0t: TIFU letting my girlfriend pay at the adult shop.
Obligatory this did not happen today but a few years ago. My (M21) girlfriend (F22) had been seeing each other for the entire first year of college and we decided to move in together. After sharing all the bills and splitting them between various credit cards, coexisting became comfortable and regular. We had been working on our cohabiting skills such as culinary, decorating a new home, and the sexy musician basement.
She decided she wanted to visit an adult shop on one of our trips north to the nearby city. Toys in Babeland or Babes in Toyland, (something like that)I don’t remember.
So after touring the store we decided on a few key items, and I went to the register to pay…
“Oh, no, I’ve got this”, she said, and pulled out a credit card and paid.
I didn’t give it a second thought. Until a month later her parents decided to come visit their daughter and her new boyfriend in our new home.
I went all out on a three-course meal to impress with a decent bottle of wine, candles, etc. etc. As we were all having the cheesecake and sipping port for desert her Mom pipes up with,
“Oh, by the way, what was this credit card charge we got from some Toys in Babeland?”
My cheesecake became very interesting at this point.
My girlfriend just says, “That was just for his cock ring, and my but plug!”
Aaand I snorted port and cheesecake out of my nose as I looked up at her mom’s reaction. (I don’t think I ever looked at her father again)
TL;DR I fucked up and let my girlfriend pay for our sex toys with her parents credit card; only to find out face to face over dinner with them.
EsquilaxM: Doesn't seem like a fuck up, seems like she thinks the parents are cool with it.
1_am_not_a_b0t: Mom, yes. Dad… not so much
notorious98: If Dad hasn't realized that you're fuckin his daughter.......I don't even know what to say to that.
KvinnoralskarAnkor: There’s the intellectual knowledge that yes, this person and that person have sex.
Then there is the emotional knowledge of that by having to hear about it.
It’s uncomfortable. Like my grandmother talking about sex. Obviously she did. I’m aware. That doesn’t mean I want to hear her discuss it in detail.
iwantabjthrowaway: If you subtract nine months from your birthday, you can figure out when your parents were fucking.
KvinnoralskarAnkor: Yeah, I’m aware.
Know way too much about that as well. I know I’m a broken condom and that it was supposed to be a one night stand that turned into a horrible abusive marriage that drove my mom into alcoholism and me idolizing a massive piece of shit because he manipulated me.
That was a fun new take on “divorce isn’t your fault” to work through!
iwantabjthrowaway: Sorry to hear that, Bojack.
KvinnoralskarAnkor: And you’re trying to get people to think about their parents fucking, Freud.
iwantabjthrowaway: Sorry, that was a legitimate "sorry to hear that" on my part. If you watch Bojack, that's like exactly his story. I'm sorry there are such shitty parents in the world.
KvinnoralskarAnkor: Ope, I thought we were comparing comments to other figures, that is my B, definitely joking, sorry if that was overly aggressive.
And… yeah. But people do break the cycle!
_Raspootin_: >But people do break the cycle!
..and condoms too.
KvinnoralskarAnkor: That was good. 10/10, keep doin you.
| 13 | 546.846154 | |
1670589097 | 1670594713 | t3_zgw4ch | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my girlfriend pay for our sex toys.
[deleted]
AbyssofEvil08: The bigger question is why did she have her parents credit card??? It's not in her name and boy the amount of issues she could create, should her parents decide to retaliate on that....
It sounds like there's a lot more to that side story for why and how she has parent credit card when she is already an adult herself, to bear her own banking and stuff...
I feel really bad for you tho brotha, she is a bit undiscrete and careless given she embarrassed you pretty badly
Tryox50: I think you're kinda jumping the gun here. It might be her credit card that her parents are simply paying for, or it might be theirs and they lent it to her.
Also, she might be an adult but if she is in college, she probably has no other money that what she gets from her parents.
Not saying that there is not a possibility of there being foul play involved, I'm just kinda surprised you would immediately assume there is. If there was a story about a person having a crash in their parents car, would you immediately assume that that person stole it?
Edit: actually, my bad, seems I misread and they only met in college and were already, trying to be financially independant. If so, it is a bit weird, but I still could also imagine parents giving their credit card to help out.
AbyssofEvil08: Tbh I never looked at it like that either, definitely another possibility as well given the circumstances.
Either way she messed up by not thinking about it haha
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1670591366 | 1670592113 | t3_zgwy0z | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a gossip account of my school and getting caught
[deleted]
Devittraisedto2: >i just thought making an account for shits and giggles would be innocent.
>I had opened a gossip account of my school,and had posted some pretty brutal,nasty and horrible things about some of the influential students AND teachers at the curriculum.
Nothing about it was innocent and deep down you knew it.
intensefujoshi: you're right :(
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1672370750 | 1672374221 | t3_zypmdg | t5_2to41 | 577 | DogThrowawaay: TIFU by talking excitedly about food and beating inflation…in front of a literal millionaire
I live in a major city, and my best friend and his wife came back for the holidays, to see her mom.
I know their families as well, and we’re all adults, we get along. So, I usually get invited to come into this really nice Victorian home on the best street in the city, which belongs to my friend’s nice, but out of touch and self-aggrandizing MIL. She’s always nice to me, but easy to get on the wrong side of. Still, my friends throw the *best* fancy parties and stuff there. They have enough money to live well, but MIL is an actual millionaire.
Sometimes it’s hard for me to make appropriate small talk, and I like to talk about what interests me. Lately, this has been local “community supported agriculture” boxes, aka farm shares. My family got it, we loved it and tried many new recipes. It’s also a great way to beat inflation and get the best prices, since you pay upfront in the spring for 18 weeks of in-season produce and any other additions you may have bought ahead of time. It’s a pinch at the time, but then you get months of free at point of distribution local food! And it’s good quality. Can you tell I like it?
I was telling the MIL about this concept and how my family had carefully stored some items from an additional late fall box program, to eat on Christmas, when we were talking about the past holidays today. Basically explained what it is and said the above.
Money is also a bit tight for my family, though we are managing re: food. I did not mention this part.
I came back from doing something this morning with my friend, and his MIL asks me to step inside the house. And then proceeds to hand me food. And more food. And more food. Basically 90% of their holiday leftovers plus “extra” food she made earlier. She says she does not usually eat those things, needs to clean out the fridge, do I want this? Or this? I’m helping her get rid of stuff! I should visit again, she’ll have more food! After what happened to her family (Holocaust survivors), no one leaves hungry!
I literally *just* realized that I accidentally made her think we’re starving, because I focused so much on food and cost savings when we talked. To be fair, I’m not great at reading ulterior motives. And I’m worried about offending her if I explain I don’t need it, because she likes to do nice things to seem/be good.
TL;DR: did not consider class, excitedly discussed cheap healthy food with someone who’s never thought about a grocery bill. Now she thinks I’m a peasant she is graciously giving food to. RIP me.
brilliantrk: Today you Finished On (top)? Sounds like this person is looking out for your well being!
DogThrowawaay: I’m cringing so hard tho. I don’t like to take free things, because in my experience there are strings attached.
armcie: You don't need it all? See if you can find someone who does. And tell your wealthy relative what you did with it.
DogThrowawaay: Actually a great idea. Got a shed load of good bread, crackers, cheese, etc., and my work just added in a lunch break to shifts going over midday. I’ll bring stuff for everyone!
| 5 | 115.4 | |
1670595365 | 1670853778 | t3_zgyghd | t5_2to41 | 58 | CharlieMike111: TIFU by having sex in my own house
[removed]
[deleted]: The only solution here is to continue thrusting while maintaining strict eye contact to establish dominance
ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN: "Hello Sis! We're trying for a baby!"
CharlieMike111: "You wanted to be an Aunt, didn't ya?"
| 4 | 14.5 | |
1670611479 | 1670676388 | t3_zh0dbz | t5_2to41 | 10 | CovidPangolin: I can imagine why as a college you don't wnat a bunch of half naked drunk minors run around your campus every year. And to be fair they gave you a warning, you should be happy that it ended with a slap on the wrist.
OldCarWorshipper: Except if he's at least 18 ( typical age of a college freshman ) he's not a minor any more. As a legal adult, the authorities could have come down a lot harder on him and his group than they did.
Even so, I find being arrested and jailed for running around in your Fruit-Of-The-Looms a bit harsh. A simple fine would have been sufficient. Besides- there really ain't a whole lot of difference between generic underwear and a woman's bikini or a man's Speedo.
CovidPangolin: The difference is an appropriate setting.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1672373847 | 1672389998 | t3_zyqom7 | t5_2to41 | 14,190 | potatojohn101: TIFU by Shopping for an Engagement Ring for GF of 6 Years
[removed]
fordbeamer: I guess… better you know now? Sorry man. That sucks.
potatojohn101: I just wished this could have happened on literally any other day. This feels like an FU in particular moment
fordbeamer: Doesn’t sound like that to me. Listen, I had something somewhat similar happen.
I was with someone for 3 years. Loved her with all my heart. We had our rough patches, tough arguments, and hard conversations. But I loved her. And I was gonna propose. But, I lost a relative and suffered a major phycological break due to it. I became irritable, and downright suicidal. She dumped me in the middle of it. Told me I wasn’t worth the pain.
I found out later thru a random instagram dm that she’d been cheating on me the whole time. With photos and proof. If i hadn’t gone thru that shit, I would’ve married a cheater, and god knows what would’ve happened.
potatojohn101: Dumping you at your lowest. I sometimes wonder how people like that live with themselves
Bloodaegisx: Well your first mistake is thinking those people care.
My dad said it best when my mom asked him “how do you sleep at night” and he replied “by finding the cold side of the pillow” some people just don’t care and the sooner they are away from you the better.
mggirard13: Can you elaborate? Did your dad cheat on your mom?
Bloodaegisx: Grew up knowing I was the oldest after he left a letter in the night basically abandoning our family, found out 4 years ago I was the second youngest of 8 kids.
germane-corsair: Motherfucker trying to single-handedly solve the declining birth rate.
Faydatello: Nick Cannon enters the chat.
lordreed: Herschel Walker is standing by.
| 11 | 1,290 | |
1670598310 | 1670689417 | t3_zgzmnm | t5_2to41 | 28 | bloomsmittenn: TIFU by trying to be productive and responsible
So, I was in my bathroom filling up a mop bucket with water. As I tried to take it out of the tub to go mop, I carried it with one hand and it tipped. Water and cleaner went all over the floor. I froze in spot to think, “Did that just happen? Is this a dream?” and I nearly cried. I immediately got a bunch of towels to try to get most of the water up. The water went around the toilet and behind the trash can, and nearly reached the door. My bathroom is small so the water almost flooded the bathroom.
Pro: The bathroom smells good and I don’t have to worry about cleaning the floor later.
Con: Water and cleaner everywhere and I have extra towels to clean.
What’s the moral? Never try to pick up a mostly full bucket of water with one hand because it will inevitably tip over.
TL;DR- Tried to carry mostly full bucket of water with one hand. Water and cleaner went everywhere nearly flooding the tiny bathroom.
Kris5449: I’m having trouble picturing this. Was there no handle on the bucket and you were lifting it by the rim?
bloomsmittenn: no, there was a handle and i tried to lift it by just the handle. the weight wasn’t distributed evenly causing it to tip over.
WordingOne: how? its water
| 4 | 7 | |
1670602780 | 1670629179 | t3_zh1fyh | t5_2to41 | 38 | smooze420: TIFU by forgetting a safety feature…
Obligatory happened yesterday but realized my mistake in the middle of the night. So my wife and I cut grass for a living. We’re not professional landscapers. Mow, trim and edge then be on our way. Keeps the lights on and food on the table. Since it’s the late fall, almost official winter we don’t have a full schedule like in the spring and summer meaning we can go a couple weeks before cutting a yard before it gets “cold” in S Texas.
On to the FU. Yesterday we were cutting a yard. I have a zero turn mower and as I’m mowing I almost run over a dog toy. Hard plastic going into the blades is not fun. The mower will win but at what cost? For those that don’t know modern mowers have a few safety features such as sensors under the seat to detect if you fall off it’ll kill the engine. One of the features of mine is that I can set the parking break, put in neutral and get off the mower to pick something up. Which is what I did so I could pick up the dog toy but the engine died. 🤔 I sit down and the engine won’t start, all I hear is a click sound. I grab some tools take the cover off and expend what little knowledge of small engines I have to no avail. So we finish the yard with push mowers. I move my truck closer to the mower and my wife and I get a full body workout pushing this big ass mower up onto the trailer. I resign myself to take the mower to the shop today rather than yesterday.
Welp in the middle of the night while half awake I somehow have an epiphany. Another safety feature of my mower is the engine won’t start if the blades are turned on…🤦♂️ Sure as shit the blades were still engaged when I checked it this morning hence why the mower wouldn’t start.
TLDR: forgot a safety feature of my lawn mower resulting in my wife and I having to push it on to a trailer for no reason.
akairborne: I hope your wife doesn't follow your reddit account, if she does; I hope she has a sense of humor!
smooze420: Oh she knows, I told her this morning and she was 🤦♂️ as well because she forgot to turn the blades off as well.
akairborne: Hah! That's awesome! A couple that can get through foibles like this and laugh can get through damn near anything.
| 4 | 9.5 | |
1670602593 | 1670638862 | t3_zh1d6x | t5_2to41 | 111 | WastedOrgasms: TIFU listening to my religious father
I'm the son of a pastor. I'm 30 years old. I was raised to never break the rules of our religion. My parents were strict Christians. God always came first. Speaking of which, the first time I came was in my late teens. I fought the urge to masturbate because I was scared God would punish me. I've never experienced an orgasm without feeling ashamed and afraid afterwards.
Those negative feelings followed me into adulthood. As a result, I never had sex. It was hell, but that was the point, I thought. It's not a test if it's easy, right? I continued going to church and listened to my father encourage the congregation to be the kind of people God expected them to be. I accepted everything my dad was preaching in his sermons as if God himself was talking to me.
Last night my dad showed up at my apartment because he had nowhere else to go. He informed me that my mom advised him to sleep somewhere else. The details came out in fragments, but eventually I got the complete story. My mom found out my dad was cheating on her. At that moment I realized I wasted 30 years of my sexless life being manipulated by a hypocrite. Hands down my biggest fuck up.
Tl:dr Spent 30 years of my life avoiding sex because my religious father made me believe it was a sin outside of marriage. Turned out my father had been having sex outside of his marriage for who knows how long and now I feel manipulated.
adapt2: Religion - the biggest scam on this planet perpetrated by the ruling class on the ordinary citizens.
Psycho_Kronos: I bet you $5 you've never read the Bible.
adapt2: No, but all the conservatives have and it shows.
Psycho_Kronos: You should avoid being so presumptuous about things you don't understand and stop projecting your need for power and independence on a good book. Conservatives don't own the Bible. The bible is not contemporary political theory nor right winged.
ot1smile: Maybe you should offer op some meaningful advice instead of just responding to those who criticise your precious religion.
Psycho_Kronos: I'm an atheist, What are you on about?
ot1smile: So why come into a thread like this and ignore op but attack the people criticising religion? It’s a weird flex.
Psycho_Kronos: What am I flexing?
adapt2: Your religion muscle. Now, leave me alone.
| 10 | 11.1 | |
1670603741 | 1670608860 | t3_zh1u5w | t5_2to41 | 18 | Subject-Chipmunk7916: TIFU by accidentally bringing up my mental health with a new friend and making things awkward
So for the past few weeks, I've been having trouble with my mental health (which is normal for me), and during that time a few of my friends have texted asking if I'm doing okay (which is also normal). Where I fucked up was when, a few days ago, I got a text from someone who's a relatively new friend, we hadn't talked in a bit and I've only hung out with him a few times. The text said he was "checking in and seeing how I was doing." I took a while to respond, because a) I was asleep for a while when he first sent it and b) I have trouble putting how I'm doing into words in a way that isn't awkward. I eventually sent a little message saying I wasn't doing great and was having mental health struggles. Now, another full day later with no response, I realized he was just trying to start up a conversation and not doing a check in on how I was doing. I hadn't asked him how he was doing or anything, just said how I was doing like a self-centered asshole. What sucks is he seems really cool and I know he would be fine with this but I just made things awkward by making the conversation completely about me. Hopefully it blows over lol.
TL;DR I told a new friend about my mental health when he just wanted to start a conversation and now being around him is super awkward
Adsway01: You could text him thank him for reaching out, and apologize for not seeing how he was doing. If your feeling any better you could make plans or tell him you appreciated the contact.
The awkwardness may only be yours.
Subject-Chipmunk7916: I definitely want to do that, I’m just scared of
making things even more awkward if he just hasn’t gotten around to replying, although it’s been long enough I’d think he would’ve
Adsway01: It’s OK to be afraid, but do it anyway. If you get a negative or no response the person wouldn’t be worth being a friend. You know your side of the street is now clean.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1672376072 | 1672379243 | t3_zyreve | t5_2to41 | 34 | Connect_Swordfish_85: TIFU by agreeing to something without thinking about the potential outcome.
So for a few months (I believe since mid September) a friend of mine(I’m female btw) I’ll call Jake has been trying to get me and his friend Noah (fake names obv) to ‘date’ and at first it was just small comments which I just laughed off (and so did Noah). But over the past few months he started pushing a bit more for example a few weeks ago he walked up to me and handed me something random and said “this is from Noah, he said he loves you” which I was stunned by ngl but I figured it was one of his tactics to get us together, and the was confirmed a few minutes later when Noah came up to me and said “what did Jake say?” To which I responded by telling him, then he said “I’m so sorry” and started trying to explain and apologize more, and I just laughed and told him it’s fine. But recently Jake has gone from jokingly asking me to date Noah to practically begging, and around the beginning of December we were working on a project for a class we share and he said “you guys are both asexual so you’re perfect for each other” (which I’m Demiromantic and pan but prefer women due to past trauma I won’t go into here) and then went into stating more reasons for why we should date and eventually I decided to agree to if he made a power point since I figured it’d get him to calm a bit which it did kinda. But now where I f’ed up was I didn’t exactly think through my not so glorious plan because he finished it a few days ago and sent me a message saying “my part of the deal is done, you must ask Noah out now.” And so I replied asking when and he said “when ever I’m around. Or not but you’ll need to have your phone recording.” Which I plan on doing since we did shake on it and I personally don’t like people who don’t keep their word, but something I thinks is worth mentioning is that I’ve never dated anyone and I’ve never asked anyone out.
TL;DR , I agreed to ask a friends friend out if he made a power point with out thinking it through and now I have to ask him after break is over.
kassian0x0: The fact your friend is so pressed on making you guys date is a bit worrying. I would first ask him why it's so imperative and let him know that you are just uncomfortable with the whole thing if you dont wanna date Noah.
Connect_Swordfish_85: I’ve asked him why it’s so important to him that we date and he just said something along the lines of “I think you guys would look good together, and it’s for the boys”
kassian0x0: Still super odd that he is pushing it on yall that strongly imo
| 4 | 8.5 | |
1672375850 | 1672606337 | t3_zyrc9w | t5_2to41 | 14,275 | oldfreak75: TIFU by accidentally saying “love you” to my fwb
My (26m) fwb (25f) and I met on tinder this summer. We had both come out of LTRs so we decided to keep it casual. We have a few things in common but we’re also quite different - for example, she’s very outgoing and me not as much or she’s very outspoken and never afraid to make her opinion known while I need help sending back the potatoes when I’ve ordered fries. But we clicked when we matched and even more so when we first met and the sex turned out to be great. She had made it very clear she was only looking for something physical and nothing else. I had agreed.
Fast forward to last night, we met up and things were getting hot and heavy. She was particularly kinky for some reason and I was seriously getting into it. Then she did something she had never done before and rimmed me. My brain instantly turned to mush and I was gone. So much so that, in the heat of moment, I said “god I think I love you”.
Immediately, tongue out and I’m sent crashing back down to earth. I knew I had fucked up and I tried to back peddle but she wasn’t having it. She kicked me out and I haven’t heard from her since even though I sent a couple texts.
TLDR: fwb tongued my ass, told her I loved her, no more ass fun for me.
Edit: im not texting her anything else guys. The couple I sent were literally just “hey sorry about that” and “heat of the moment”. I know it’s over.
DredgenYorMother: I've had a few fwbs pull this on me and I've never thought to kick them out of my house. That's alittle extreme. I always took it as an exclamation of pleasure, so like a pat on the back for a good job. Hope you find the right tongue for your butt my friend.
Odenseye08: My guess is she's got some feelings too and got a wee bit scared.
MolinoSborrino: And like any mature adult who can deal with their emotions in a healthy way, she kicked him out and ghosted him instead of having a conversation about it
ThatOneWeirdName: It is only one day so far, so I hope it’s her taking her time to sort out her emotions, not just ghosting
TheIncendiaryDevice: Meh, she might just find another quick lay (which isn't hard especially for women) then message him again
baphoboob: Incel vibes
TheIncendiaryDevice: Nah. Just had that type of thing happen before. It sucked.
She'd bail when things got serious then when missed me would come back. Toxic af.
OctopusButter: Something bad happening to you doesn't allow you to make generalizations. It's still incel energy. I've had women be rude to me but I don't go around calling them all Karen's or bitching about how sex supposedly easier for them because I have some unhealthy, gross, entitled worldview to sex.
Nailbomb85: I only see him talking about one girl, you're the one who turned it into a generalization.
beka13: >(which isn't hard especially for women)
Nailbomb85: That said it's easy for men and women, and a bit easier for women. And we're talking about Tinder users. That's just a fact.
OctopusButter: Still a generalization and statistical truths are often misinterpreted and misused as reasons to be hateful. No one said incel vibes because he said "women" but because of the tone of voice implied. If I say, there are a substantial group of police officers in the US that perform and get away with crime, that's very different than saying "yea he could just go shoot someone and get away with it, which is easy for cops." It's the implications. I used cops and sure it may be a bad example, but there's plenty of other examples you can find that racists love to use as rationales.
Nailbomb85: You say it yourself, the statement is equally as factual no matter the overall tone. Also not sure what racism has to do with anything that was said, but you do you.
OctopusButter: Yes, so what's the issue? I'm saying that the tone matters and that is why people said incel. That and whether or not the fact is true has no correlation. You can say true things in poorly phrased ways or bitter ways. I did not imply racism has anything to do with this, I am saying that "who cares what I say if it's true" is often used to 'prove' racist things. Like using statistical data of what races are incarcerated the most, may be a true fact, but stating it in a way to imply a negative quality of that general racial population is wrong. I'm not saying anyone did that here, just using it as an example. Just like any data or truth, it can be partially revealed or disingenuous revealed to push an agenda. Racists and incels will find any data they can to "prove" problems with women or racial groups. Again, I'm not saying anyone did that here, my entire point is that how things are said matters a great deal and explains why they were called an incel. I can understand why it was perceived that way, but I am not saying I know their intent for sure.
Nailbomb85: ...except that the negative tone from the commenter was talking about one person. And it wasn't even a strong phrase.
TheIncendiaryDevice: Ummm
I never talked about racism which was a whole other thing.
OctopusButter: I never said you did either lol
TheIncendiaryDevice: It's a weird path to take
| 19 | 751.315789 | |
1672377389 | 1672378135 | t3_zyrvbd | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by slapping my brother
[deleted]
suagtforutube: What is r***********?
adhd-photokid: My apologies if this was phrased wrong. It’s a slur, usually referring to a person with an intellectual disability.
| 3 | 1 | |
1670604814 | 1670608078 | t3_zh29ec | t5_2to41 | 21 | wooolllyyy: TIFU by getting fired because i cried (Update)
[Original post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/p88xhv/tifu_by_getting_fired_because_i_cried/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
I was contemplating making this update because it's not the type of "it all worked out at the end update" but since I promised one, here you go.
Ok, when I created the original post, it was me shouting in the dark, and I didn't expect it to blow up, but it did, and you guys helped me through a lot of my anxiety. A couple of people even stayed in touch, and I gave them updates here and there. I wish I could have told you things worked out and I'm happy in Germany starting a new life, but that didn't happen. I will break this up into a timeline so it's easy to follow.
Sep 2021:
I found a job a month after I posted the original thread in a company based in the U.S. it was a remote job, and the CEO was Iranian. We were not documented, which is fine because most of the time, Iranian CEOs hire people outside of the U.S. to pay them way less. This happens a lot. The pay was about 160$ a month, and we had no benefits, but whatever, I was trying to save money to get out as soon as possible.
March 2022:
I started applying for schools in Germany and was confident I would get in because a couple of years ago, my brother went through the same process and got in easily. I applied to 9 universities. A few rejected me because of my GPA, which is fair, and a few others accepted my application. Now at this time, my undergraduate degree isn't ready because, in Iran, it takes a ridiculous amount of time and effort for you to get your degree.
May 2022:
A small protest happens outside of my school in support of a girl who was sexually assaulted, but since the asshole who did that to her had a powerful dad, the girl got arrested and he didn't face any consequences. Also since no news outlet covered it, we all gathered to support her. Long story short, I was arrested and expelled, which resulted in me not getting my diploma. Naturally, in a couple of months, the two schools that accepted my provisional application without my degree wanted my degree, and I couldn't provide it, so understandably, they had to move forward with other applicants.
I also left my job because I realized we were being overworked for little to no money. Whenever we ask for a raise, they always find a way not to do it, and honestly, the CEO has promised every employee that he'd help them move to the U.S at some point, which is obviously a lie, and they just want us to work for them as much as we can until they can afford actual on-site employees.
Sep 2022:
Protests break out, and I leave Iran for a neighboring country because it will not be safe for me since I'm fairly active on social media about the whole situation and a few thousand people follow me. Three days after I left, they showed up at my house back in Iran and demanded to arrest me, but luckily I wasn't there. If I go back to Iran, I won't make it past airport security.
For the past two months, I have been trying to find a job, but I haven't been successful. I have a half-decent resume, but I keep getting rejected because of the country I'm in right now. I'm exhausted and out of options. I'm burning through my savings, and in a few weeks, I'm either going to have to be homeless or go back to Iran to get arrested. I'm in a really dark place and have little to no hope for what's to come. I miss my friends and my family. I just wanted a normal life. I know I'm being pathetic, and I didn't want to post this. I wanted to have something good happen so I could update you guys with happy news, but everything keeps getting worse. This will probably be my last post on this matter and on Reddit. Sorry if I let you guys down.
TL;DR: Got fired from university because of protests, didn't get my undergraduate degree, and couldn't move to Germany. Went to a neighboring country were i'm in the verge of becoming homeless or going back to Iran, where I'll 100% be arrested.
thebaronthered: Go to an embassy and seek asylum somewhere. Whatever you do don't go back to Iran.
wooolllyyy: I don't think i can do that since there are no records of me being arrested or even the arrest warrant. They do that so you specifically can't request asylum. A good lawyer can probably get the records, but I can't afford that.
Seeksp: Not sure you would need that based on the general Crack down against women in Iran. Depends a bit on which country you try to seek asylum in as well.
wooolllyyy: I have no info on this, I'll do some research on it and sure, what do i have to lose.
Seeksp: I wish you luck regardless. At least with the Afghans the Canadians tended to be rather liberal. Don't know if they still are but it might be a starting point.
wooolllyyy: Thank you my friend. I'll give that a try.
| 7 | 3 | |
1670601812 | 1670623420 | t3_zh11om | t5_2to41 | 3 | Synchro_Shoukan: TIFU by drinking my own dead skin
Happened a couple nights ago. I have have a build up of dry cracked skin on the heels of my feet and on the side of both big toes, doctors always said it was a genetic thing, I hate it. I only hate it because I have severe depression and don't take care of myself. I am now in treatment and overcoming these terrible moods and thoughts, buuuuuuuut I can still fuck up.
I bought a battery powered foot scraper to get started taking care of myself again and it's great! I'm getting all the dead skin and my foot is starting to look semi normal when I notice my mouth is super dry. I reach down from the bed to grab my water bottle, flip the top and suck up the sweet, sweet water.
Until I looked at the cap and saw all of my foot scraping on the lid. And noticed that the scraping got into the mouthpiece housing, coating it and without a doubt got on the mouthpiece and into the straw.
I spat it out and had to brush my teeth for the taste to go away. Truly awful. So here I am warning you all to be careful this Christmas.
Tl;dr: I scraped dead skin off my foot and it landed on my bottle, where I drank it.
Kriztof_09: That cracked me up.
Synchro_Shoukan: Thanks! It was gross for me lol
| 3 | 1 | |
1670610707 | 1670612972 | t3_zh4ul2 | t5_2to41 | 5,421 | jesseberdinka: TIFU by trying to convince my daughter an amputated bloody Leprechaun was after her seeking revenge for a prank gone wrong. You asked for it...
Obligatory this happened a while ago.
So many people wanted to hear this after my Christmas Potato story I thought I'd get it out there.
So to start off, my family loves pranks and we all have a very morbid sense of humor. Think Impractical Jokers meet Addams Family.
Also, I should note; in all of these stories, my wife is usually traveling for business, which is why I seem to F up a lot. Brothers, keep your ladies close. They keep us from doing dumb stuff like this.
So it's the day before St. Patricks Day and my daughter who was probably like 7 at the time told me that kids at school were making Leprechaun traps. I had never heard of this tradition but it sounded really neat. You put a box on the floor and hold it up with a stick and put a plate of cookies in it hoping to trap a Leprechaun. The next morning the kid sees the box "tripped" and you open it up to see that the Leprechaun got away but left you a black plastic cauldron full of gold chocolate coins.
Cute right?
Well, I can't ever just leave something alone. So I find the Halloween stuffed witch we have. After my daughter goes to sleep I cut the striped leggings and pointy shoes legs off and place them as if they are coming out of the fallen box. I then take some red food coloring and Karo corn syrup from a recipe for blood I found on like and then make drag marks from the box to the back door leaving it open a crack.
The implication is that the box amputated the Leprechaun's legs and he somehow managed to drag the top half of his body away.
So my daughter gets up and we go downstairs and she is shocked but still not sure what is going on.. I lift the box and there is this note:
*Your lust for chocolate and this forsaken trap have cost me my legs lassie, MY LEGS!!! The memory of the Irish is long and Vengeful. I will heal my broken body and return with my leprechaun brethren for revenge!*
So my daughter starts to freak out and I'm like okay, I'll nip this in the bud. I tell her, "Molly, it's a bad joke. It's not real". To prove this to her, I dip my finger in the corn syrup and lick it.
**First F\*ck Up**
I didn't know this but red food coloring is bad. like REALLY bad. Like so bad that there is literally a NO TASTE red food coloring that isn't as bright, but doesn't make your cake icing taste like crap. So I put this to my lips and my face instantly cringes. So now she thinks I'm cringing because it's really blood. Take me forever to calm her down. On the plus side, she got a lot of chocolate. I mean a lot.
**Second F\*ck Up**
I had a suspicion that the "blood" might stain my old Linoleum floors but didn't really care because we were just on the point of a total kitchen remodel. But wow. This stuff got on everything. The floors, the walls, my skin. It just would not come off. The kitchen looked like a killing field when all was said and done.
Wife not happy. With any of it.
TL;DR I tried to prank my daughter with a Leprechaun prank but it went horribly wrong when I ended up staining my entire kitchen.
Eve_newbie: Seems pretty convenient your wife happened to be out of town when your kitchen became stained with blood...
jesseberdinka: Lol. Before Covid my wife travelled much more. Since then we both work from home. Much nicer...and safer.
Eve_newbie: Haha, sounds like less stories for the kids to tell in therapy later 😂. I'm kidding, I'm sure they're memories y'all will laugh at for years to come.
jesseberdinka: She doesn't seem to be too traumatized and we're both big believers that kids like to be scared within reason. She's a wonderful young woman and the good news is she now doesn't believe anything anyone tells her. She's a trained skeptic. Lol.
HugoToledo_USA: I love the point about having raised a skeptic! That’s what we want for our kids. Well done! 😊
jesseberdinka: Word.
| 7 | 774.428571 | |
1672381268 | 1672385714 | t3_zyt3xh | t5_2to41 | 94 | recyclable-trash: TIFU by joining a gym and immediately regretting it
To preface, I have bad anxiety and have seen people in the past for it. I’ve also just recently left my small regional town for the big city and the loneliness and fear struck today.
But today, I decided I’d check out a gym and try it out for the new year. Have a real fitness kick like most do. I checked out a Goodlife nearby and it seemed nice. Went home did more research and signed up. Felt anxious and a bit conscious about money but still ok. I went to check Google maps to figure out the fastest route. Only to find that they half of their ratings are 1 star. I spiral. I try to console myself and be like, most people who like it wouldn’t review it. If I don’t like it after a session I can leave during the trial period. It’s only a grand a year. And on and on and on and on. I start having a fun little anxiety attack. Call my boyfriend, cry a little.
I decided to take a small journey to get some knitting supplies as I’m wanting to pick up the hobby. I start feeling better and just say fuck this, I call up the gym and embarrassingly cancelled my membership. I was shaking but I did it. I feel so much better and less of a big fuck-up. I’ll just continue to work out from home like I always do.
TL:DR Joined a gym, spiraled and panicked, left the gym
professionalmeangirl: proud of you! glad they let you cancel. it's so okay to feel something out, and always okay to change your mind.
recyclable-trash: Thank you, felt like a mess haha
Darkchild1723: You got it together enough to cancel, many people would have just taken the financial hit rather than admit their mistake. Don't give yourself too little credit.
| 4 | 23.5 | |
1671327787 | 1671543715 | t3_zompmb | t5_2to41 | 11,008 | Mainlinemisload: TIFU by letting my wife give me a BJ
So this was actually yesterday.
The wife and I finally found good Thai food since moving to our current city. Seeing that we are lovers of spicy food, we both opted for a 7 spice level on a 1-9 scale. Finished dinner and promptly went upstairs to get ready to wind down.
Fast forward 15 minutes and we are in the bed getting handsy. My wife so graciously pleasures me and all is good…..until I feel my penis starting to burn. The oil from the food and chilies were still very present in my wife’s saliva and my little guy is ON FIRE!!! The pain gets so excruciating that I had to take my bedside glass of water and proceed to dip my worm in as if I was fishing for a large mouth bass…no pun intended.
TIFU by eating spicy Thai food, immediately receiving fellatio, and setting my dick ablaze; TL;DR
Illustrious_Front669: Milk and/or dish soap. Breaks down the oils and takes the sting away
Kquinn87: Peanut butter works too.
phreaxer: Yeah, but then the dog chases you around the damn house!
VaultDweller77: That's fine, the dog hasn't had any spicy food
MyFingerYourBum: 
anothermonth: Yes.
SleepyMarijuanaut92: 
noobadi3: 
What da dog doing?
| 9 | 1,223.111111 | |
1672382331 | 1672488143 | t3_zytf9n | t5_2to41 | 34 | Gloomy_Ad9290: TIFU by using my kids hoverboard
Never thought I'd get to use the same throwaway twice. But this post will be too recognisable for me to post it on my main.
And for clarity, this happened yesterday, but I'm still up at 6am so I'm calling it today.
My son got a hoverboard from Santa. Really cool little thing. He nailed it in like 5 minutes and is flying around the house. I jump on it a few times and turns out I'm pretty good on it too.
Today I have my family over. I cook them a nice dinner, during which we drink copious amounts of alcohol.
They head home, and at that moment I decide its a good time to mess about with my sons and jump on the hoverboard. I get cocky, go ultra-fast. I immediately realise my mistake as the hoverboard overtakes me (undertakes me?)... life flashes before my eyes as I'm catapulted backwards through the air. And I backflop the ground. I smack my head so hard I'm literally concussed. I headed straight for the nearest sofa and sat down holding my sore and embarrassed face.
8 hours later, I'm still here and my back is absolutely banjaxed. I tried standing up, not happening. I'm broken. I'm here for the night
Picture a 40 year old idiot on a hoverboard... yes, that's me.
TLDR; got too cocky on my sons hoverboard, ended up concussed with a busted back.
grafknives: Your head might be worth checking by a medical staff.
I mean the hit, not the cocky attitude;)
Gloomy_Ad9290: I'm still alive after a 4 hour nap. I'll get through this. Struggling to walk today though!
aktorsyl: Still get it checked. Concussion is often silent and latent until it isn't.
Gloomy_Ad9290: OK, thanks for the advice. I'll get myself checked out
| 5 | 6.8 | |
1672386265 | 1672388282 | t3_zyukax | t5_2to41 | -2 | Lilith_Risen: TIFU by flushing my new butt plug
[removed]
Fun-Pea-880: You posted this because you needed your rent paid right?
> Yes I looked at your linktree link. I lost a few brain cells in the process.
Lilith_Risen: Bwahaha I mean if you want to sure. But no, I tried posting this in the moment and forgot a tldr so it was deleted from my main account.
Fun-Pea-880: Hard to blame someone for trying with this inflation and layoffs; if you were trying.
Lilith_Risen: Duuuude, seriously. I can see how you could assume this but I've done research these past 2 days on the gifting aspect of camming and my wishlist isn't as appauling as some of them that I saw.
Fun-Pea-880: Your wishlist is nothing outlandish. Sugarbabies get paid 10-20k/month or more for sometimes just an innocent date.
Crazy world we live in.
| 6 | -0.333333 | |
1670619954 | 1670641438 | t3_zh8q40 | t5_2to41 | 6,126 | bballeng3: TIFU by not washing my clothes for a year
About a year ago I bought a new washing machine. One of the features included was a small hole to pour liquid detergent into. Over the last year I have been pouring detergent into this hole each time I ran a load of laundry.
Fast forward to today and I’m getting ready to do a load of laundry. I notice the detergent hole is filled almost to the brim even though I haven’t put any detergent in yet. Assuming it’s clogged, I start looking for answers online. This is when I discover my new washing machine comes with liquid detergent auto-dispense that you have to turn on. I’ve just been pouring detergent into a 75oz reservoir for the last year and washing my clothes with just water.
TL;DR I washed my clothes with only water for the last year because I don’t understand how to use a washing machine.
Get_your_grape_juice: Sounds like the water was able to Tide you over for the year…
codismycopilot: SO many potential puns, and that's *All* you could come up with?
LittlePurr76: You're not Gaining enjoyment from this, are you?!
codismycopilot: I was hoping that perhaps it would all just be Whisk(ed) away!
Get_your_grape_juice: I think we’re ushering in a whole new Era of witty Reddit threads.
codismycopilot: You think I'm going to continue to be Downy with this??
Get_your_grape_juice: Woolite hope’d you’d at least *try*; this is fun!
codismycopilot: I think I'm just gonna Bounce this one back to you!
Get_your_grape_juice: You have my respect, and I Cheer your decision, as always.
codismycopilot: Boy you're really trying to strong Arm me and Hammer this home, aren't you?
Get_your_grape_juice: I mean, I’m not trying to strong Arm you *Per sil*, but I have a deep-seated, almost pathological need to come out on Top.
codismycopilot: I think perhaps this EverSpring of puns is ending!
Get_your_grape_juice: *Please* — don’t tell me we don’t have another 101 Fab puns between us…
codismycopilot: I'm pretty sure I don't have any Xtra to give.
Get_your_grape_juice: Well, then I’ll let you off the hook. But I thank you for the Splash of wit you’ve contributed tonight.
| 16 | 382.875 | |
1670622850 | 1670624617 | t3_zh9wws | t5_2to41 | 87 | Bio_Criminal: TIFU by doing bellyflops and wearing a poloshirt.
This happened ~50 minutes ago.
Warning, I will swear.
I'M A BIG FUCKING IDIOT. And here's why.
So, I was at the swimming society for my university. Swimming along. Like usual. The president wasn't there so nobody was taking it that seriously. Then the guys next me started doing lacklustre bellyflops for some reason. Me, being the fucking 5 year old that I am, realised that I hadn't done belly flops in a decade and wanted to do them. So I got out, did a couple bellyflops, got half the water out the pool because I'm a fat fuck who knows how to do a belly flop. 1st mistake. My skin now feels like someone is pouring moltern iron on it and using my chest as an etch-a-sketch. What's that? Our session's over? Time to go get changed. So I get out and change into the clothes I walked there in. A poloshirt and shorts specifically. 2nd mistake. Poloshirts are rough as fuck and now it feels like someone has unleashed hellfire underneath my skin and my bones are being roasted alive. It wasn't as bad once I got the shirt on and I took a breath.
Then I moved.
3rd mistake. My chest now feels like, within the hellfire consuming my entire being, my skin is now actively being ripped to shreds with every miniscule movements. Within seconds, it feels like nothing but a few strings of my flesh remain. Fighting through my shattered mental state and walking home, I discovered that IT'S FUCKING COLD. I knew it was cold to begin with- but I like the cold normally. I, apparently, cannot like the shitty fucking cold if the remnants of my flesh are actively being consumed by Cthulhu and Nyarlathotep in a weird, cosmic horror love child kind of way and this cunt decided to use my skin as a fleshy canvas for their scratching post.
Now I finally get home, cooking a pizza, and the only things hotter than lacerations on my chest are the raging fires of self hatred I feel for my life decisions.
Long story short, never let your inner child win, even if you have to beat it with a stick.
TLDR; Don't do bellyflops and then wear a rough poloshirt unless you wish to suffer the wrath of a million suns and some guy named Jeffery. Never let your inner child win.
Bio_Criminal: My chest is fine, I'm just in pain and being dramatic.
marcoevich: Lol. If you write a book I will read it. Such a dramatic story teller 😅
Bio_Criminal: I'll definitely send you a link to whenever I get around to writing a book, thank you for your support. XD
| 4 | 21.75 | |
1670623694 | 1670638683 | t3_zha9ch | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: Tifu...by not listening
[deleted]
GlassPanther: Aye yo you might wanna go make sure he's okay ... this post has my Spidey sense tingling.
shyhighfreakyfun: He's ok
GlassPanther: Thanks for caring 👍 You are a good friend to him, whether you realize it or not.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1672392462 | 1672397738 | t3_zywbmk | t5_2to41 | 45 | Pleasant_Broccoli451: TIFU by fighting an ex boyfriend and going to a club with friends a week later
I live close to a pretty famous club area with different events every weekend. A club I like invited several well know DJs and dancers. It was a prelude to the upcoming New Year's Eve party. Like it get's crazier every day leading up to NYE and on the 31 Dec it's the highlight.
Two of my god friends came to visit their familys for NYE and I'm off work this week so I invited them to have a drink and go to the club later. I was super excited for the event and hyped them up for like two weeks.
Here comes a little back story from a week ago: My roommate had a boyfriend. She lost feelings, wasn't happy anymore and ended the relationship out of respect for him. She did that at our place in case he get's mad or overreacts. And he did. He yelled at her about the weirdest shit. Cussed her out and was over all really aggressive. The relationship was fine and he seemed like a good guy while being with her. We became friends but my roommate is also my best friends so of course I'm on her side.
I can't stay out of things so I went into her room and told him to calm down. He yelled at me, I yelled back, my bestie cried. He raised his hands to her and I got between them. He kinda hit me but didn't get me properly. I threatend to call the police and he left. I'm going to spare you any more details but the break up was messy. Fragile ego on his side - do I have to say more?
Last night my friends and I went to a bar, had a few cocktails and than went to the club. We queued for half an hour just to get to the door. And guess who was the bouncer?
My best friends ex boyfriend...
He of course recognised me and said that I can't get in. I was shocked because I thought as a grown man he can put a line between work and private life. I asked if my friends can get in and he said no. I asked him why and he said that I know why. I asked the other bouncer but her ex jumped in telling his co worker to not let me in under any circumstances.
Being my argumentative self I asked for the manager. I usually don't ask for managers but this situation was unfair and since I can't talk to him like we're two grown ups. He went inside to look for his boss. The manager came out saying I can't get in because I'm not the right patron for their etablissement by what he heard about me. The things he heard about me were the things the ex boyfriend told him in the last 2 minutes.
I can't let something like that sit on me so I argued with him to let my friends in at least. It's not there fault I had a fall out with the bouncer. The manager agreed BUT BANNED ME????
My friends didn't went in (they are so sweet, aren't they?) and we left. This morning I sent an email to the organizer with a formal complaint. I know it probably won't do anything but I'm a petty bitch.
TL;DR: I had a fall out with my besties ex boyfriend who happend to be a bouncer at a famous club I tried to get into. He didn't let me. I argued and now I'm banned from the club.
Interesting-Month-56: I don’t think you fucked up.
I think the ex and his coworkers are shit on par with Andrew Tate.
Pleasant_Broccoli451: It's so crazy to me because he was so nice and supportive while they were together. I could've called him in the middle of the night totally wasted and he would've gone out of his way to help me but after the break up something switched and now he's acting like this.
shardingHarding: A lot of people are very good at hiding their toxic sides, but to be fair he might have just loved your friend and the pain is unbearable. That said, most bouncers are toxic.
| 4 | 11.25 | |
1670627814 | 1670667626 | t3_zhc1hn | t5_2to41 | 19 | armchairplane: TIFU by getting high and giving a shitty best man speech.
This was earlier this year.
Before the wedding all the groomsmen took an edible. Weed makes me crazy self conscious but against my better judgement I said fuck it and ate one.
It was kicking in right as I was about to give my speech. Normally behind a mic I can be laid back and funny, but because I was so self conscious hearing my voice through the speaker I ended up only saying about half of what I prepared.
I was *supposed* to say: "Idk if [the groom] remembers this, but the last time I was here [I live in a different state] I said to him: 'please don't make me your best man if you ever get married, bc I don't want to give the best man speech.... *so if this goes poorly, we all know who to blame.*" I thought it was a funny little thing to say... if only I said the last fucking bit. Yeah bc I was so self conscious I didn't say the joke part so I just basically said to everyone that I didn't want to give the speech. Fuck me.
I can't stop thinking about how poorly it went. The groom said he liked it and his family and her family said I did fine. I can tell they just said it to be nice but it makes me feel a tiny bit better that at least they weren't mad about it.
TL;DR I got high before the wedding and gave a terrible best man speech.
T1mely_P1neapple: take acetaminophen next time and see if it helps with your self consciousness.
Daftpunksluggage: What?
Corla_Plankton: I may have read somewhere that it can sometimes mess with a person's sense of empathy. It might be a function of that. A psychopath lacks empathy, so I'm told. They also tell me that a psychopath is often good at public speaking.
Daftpunksluggage: Wow never knew that.
Edit: I don't think that intermittent lack of empathy will give you skills that you didn't previously have.
Psychopaths never have empathy... they also aren't always good public speakers. It makes sense to me... that the ability to public speak well is tied to assertiveness and a general lack of caring what other people think about you.
Paranoia from taking an edible definitely will prevent that last bit. You start caring very much that everyone is judging you. I think that was the issue in OPs post.
| 5 | 3.8 | |
1672395377 | 1672469994 | t3_zyx3w5 | t5_2to41 | 445 | Throwawayplayers: TIFU by cumming on my girlfriends crocheting project
Throwaway account cause my friends browse my regular account.
A little background:
Part one:
I drove up to my girlfriends house who lives out of state to celebrate her birthday today.
Part two:
Something we both do before a visit is avoid pleasuring ourselves for the few days prior in order to maximize pleasure with each other.
Part three:
My girlfriend has been getting really into crocheting recently and decided to make a very large version of the D.Va Tokki logo from Overwatch as a sort of wall mounted decor. She started by drawing the logo on a 4’ x 3’ sheet of paper and is using it as a template for the crocheting itself.
Now the fuck up…
After a long night with her family celebrating her birthday (and teasing each other all the while) we got home and almost immediately got down to business. As we’re nearing the end she’s on her stomach with me on top and she tells me to finish on her back… let’s just say I underestimated the power off my sploodge. On her ass, her back, her hair, her face (somehow), and most importantly to the story; all over the paper template on the other end of the room. There are now massive wet stains covering a good portion of it (even after immediately wiping it down as best as I could)
Thankfully she burst into peels of laughter rather than tears. We both laughed about it for a while and she insisted that I share it here.
Tl;dr I shot cum half way across the room onto a paper rabbits face while having sex with my girlfriend.
naph8it: As soon as she laughs you're off the hook.
Throwawayplayers: I guess I should have clarified, she’s been utilizing her families help on it from time to time so now there will be questions that we’d really rather not answer honestly
Zombeikid: Spilled water/coffee/soda on it and had to trash it. Simple enough
| 4 | 111.25 | |
1671269258 | 1671371672 | t3_zo2nho | t5_2to41 | 891 | GirlandtwoCats: TIFU by having an orgasms while throwing up drunk after a long dry spell
I went out partying last night. Had one too many tequilas, like I haven’t been this drunk in years. When I arrived home, my head was spinning so bad! I almost couldn’t make it up the stairs to my apartment or figure the right key to open the door. Finally inside. I go to pee and make myself throw up so I can go to sleep in peace.
I stick my fingers down my throat , but just spit comes out. I keep going at it and start getting wet and horny and all confused at the same time, but still nothing coming out. Drank some glasses of water. Pressed my stomach. Tried every technique I used before to make myself up chuck after drinking, but nothing is working. Meanwhile I am still horny and having some funny thoughts about masturbating after I am done.
After what feel like an hour of trying (but was probably just a few minutes) when I finally puke, I had the most intense orgasms I had in months. Puke kept coming out of my mouth and my nose and I kept coming down there. I am projectile vomiting like a hose is attached to my mouth. I thought I was going to die.
As drunk as I was, one sober brain cell left is laughing at the fact that I am coming while my head is literally inside the toilet bowl. And because this is the first time I come after a very very long dry spell.
Now I am bed. Hungover as hell. Don’t know. Just wanted to share this TIFU. Hope you had a laugh.
TL;DR: I had an orgasms while making myself throw up drunk after no sex in a long time
ExosEU: Seems to me like you'd be a freak at bj's.
10/10 gf material
GirlandtwoCats: I cannot say for sure, but thanks for your vote of confidence.🫡
Noidremained: >I cannot say for sure
I'm not sure I believe you
Dzyu: Not every chick is looking for a dick.
Edit: typo
Noidremained: of course not, but OP having lots of experience with blowjobs and especially deepthroating would explain a lot regarding how this fuck up could happen
Dzyu: If you check her post history it's clear she's into gals, at least.
| 7 | 127.285714 | |
1670635188 | 1670648812 | t3_zhew9t | t5_2to41 | 26 | Known_Figure_5198: TIFU I shared my bonus details with a coworker who's getting significantly less
So today we just got our bonus numbers and my coworker asked me how much I got. The dumbass I am, I told her first. (I know, so stupid! but for my defense this is my second job out of school so I am not used to corporate America politics).
Thing is I expected mine to be slightly above hers so I figured no harm but as it turns out she's not getting anything at all which is code for "we're probably firing you soon".
For context I am getting 32k which I negotiated with the recruiter that gave me the offer.
Looking back, I think she's been doing bad at work (coming in late, limited knowledge of the basics) so I can see that they might fire her soon.
What's my exposure here? How do I handle this?
She doesn't strike me as the vindictive type but if she's getting fired soon then she has nothing to lose and could spread the rumor.
For additional context, we're both \~1 year out of college (I have \~7 month of exp more than her)
TL;DR: Shared my bonus comp with a soon to be disgruntled employee.
KcocNoisnetxeGib: Call me old fashioned but I’ve nnnever shard my earrings/pay with anyone that wasn’t related to me or in a relationship with me. But it’s if it was an innocent admission, don’t feel bad, friend
QuartzPigeon: Yeah that's old fashioned, I'm genuinely curious what the reason is you wouldn't share with a coworker? I can't think of a downside.
TheBestMePlausible: You just read one. Chances are the two people in this post will never comfortably work together again. Every interaction they have from now on will be charged with this knowledge of the gap in payment levels.
Also note, he does give some valid reasons why the colleague is getting less money than him. I’m sure she doesn’t see it that way, but maybe everybody else in the room does.
QuartzPigeon: Found the boss lol. If I were her and doing a shit job I'd still want to know I'm making less, so I can better myself or look elsewhere. And if I was OP I wouldn't feel too bad, they're not the one paying her less. And feeling a bit awkward at work is hardly a good reason not to share.
TheBestMePlausible: I was, in fact, a boss for about 14 years. Ran my own business, started with six employees, had 30 at the height of things, and ended with 10, most of them the same ones I started with. And yes, I went through a bunch of drama with this “people know each other’s salaries“ thing. There was nothing wrong with anybody’s salary, everyone was very well paid, well above average. The problem was that everybody’s salary wasn’t literally *exactly* the same. People got bent out of shape about it, even though everybody was getting a perfectly good salary, and the reasons for the differences in salary were totally fair and reasonable, basically being based around who had been working with me the longest, building things up from the beginning, and who were the new guys walking into a steady job with a steady salary.
It caused a lot of drama, and this post kind of reminded me of it. You can dismiss what I’m saying, but read the post.
QuartzPigeon: I mean I don't know how bad this drama got but I still think it would be wrong to forbid employees from sharing that knowledge, and that it would be very strange to not share what I make if someone asked me as an employee, since I'm not the one that decided that salary or the salary of the person asking. People getting bent out of shape is their prerogative.
TheBestMePlausible: I didn’t tell anyone they couldn’t share salaries, and at the time I would’ve felt exactly the same as you. I still do I guess, I certainly wouldn’t forbid someone from doing it.
But the drama involved one person quitting, trying to steal my business plan and customers, and failing after discovering all the things I brought to the equation that he simply didn’t have and couldn’t come up with. God that guy was a bitter, self centered asshole. They took another employee with them, who definitely didn’t get paid that good salary I offered for the next 10 years, unlike the four who stayed. But on top of those real world consequences, there was just a lot of venom and drama and bad vibes about it all between the various employees, when there was absolutely no call for it. Lasted like a year and a half, and the job went from super pleasant and fun to being kind of a pain in the ass for everyone that whole time.
Like, for an example- imagine if the colleague in OPs story above took it *extra* personal, and started sabotaging OP every chance she could. Now multiply that by *everybody* in the company knowing *everybody* else’s salary.
Again, I personally would never try to force someone who worked for me to not share this information. But doing so has consequences, and not just to the boss, but also to the people who share. I think it’s just a human nature thing to be honest, and that’s why it’s a bit of a tradition to keep your mouth shut about this stuff.
QuartzPigeon: That's fair, and you've made me think deeper about it. I would personally still choose to share, and I would hope my fellow employee would be smart enough to not take it out on me for no reason if they felt they were receiving a less than desirable amount.
TheBestMePlausible: Oh great, I’m glad if I can contribute something helpful to the conversation! I think like a lot of things this topic is kind of gray area. In my experience, where it’s been OK, was when it was kind of a personal decision between two individuals who had a reason to want to share it, and hopefully know each other well enough to think they can probably handle the answer.
But you never really know, it might turn out to be a bad decision. I’ve certainly shared this info with close colleagues before, and sometimes it was useful. Sometimes it was asked and answered in light of upcoming salary negotiations, between two work buddies. But I’ve also seen that very same thing lead to really bad work conditions, with, like, constant bad vibes and sniping and factions and shit.
So, it’s not very common, you know? People just kind of shy away from it. And I don’t think that’s *all* because of some propaganda campaign by the bosses.
| 10 | 2.6 | |
1670636038 | 1670636991 | t3_zhf7nk | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by not telling my boss I messed up immediately.
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: > I called the master baker
I bet he likes masterbaking all night and has developed different techniques to masterbake
[deleted]: His skills are simply unmatched
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1672399923 | 1672442797 | t3_zyydoe | t5_2to41 | 1,442 | 3oclockam: TIFU by being outsmarted by my 3 year old
I consider myself to be of reasonable intelligence but today I was just outsmarted by my dinosaur guru 3 year old and I feel like I have been taken down a peg or two.
It all started when we got new name tag stickers for when my son starts kindergarten. His mother let him have one sheet of stickers for fun, to which he promptly started laying claim to all the toys, his brother's included.
Before too much territory was lost, I quickly claimed I had already put a sticker ontop of the TV with my name on it. My son asked if he could see it, to which I said "its ontop you can't see it", "Oh" he replied. Feeling victorious I left the room to get his bedtime ready. While my son's bedroom routine was being completed by my wife, I retreated back to the TV, gleeful to put something exciting on. I looked down on the remote and in a big red sticker read "Tim"*... you little shit...... can't use the TV without the remote... fuck me.
TL;DR
3 yr old son used name tag stickers to lay claim to everything. Thinking I was being clever I said the TV had my name on the top. To which my son retaliated by putting his name sticker on the TV remote.
*name replaced for anonymity
akai_tsubaki: Actually , lot new TV's can be controlled by smartphone.
3oclockam: Well shit, TIL. Thanks
Ktulu789: Most androids even have an infrared LED and am app to control almost anything not too old.
wojtekpolska: they dont anymore. how old is your phone lol? last time i saw an infrared on a phone was in like 2014
Ktulu789: Xiaomi?
UntimelyApocalypse: No thank you.
| 7 | 206 | |
1670626901 | 1670647848 | t3_zhbn9d | t5_2to41 | 25 | TeachOfTheYear: TIFU by playing an evil, bloody trick on my unsuspecting mother.
This did not happen recently. It happened waaaaay back in time but it is my story.
We go back to the time of orange kitchens and shag rugs. I was 15, it was the late 70s, Donna Summer probably played in the background. I had recently bought fake blood pills from an ad in the back of an Archie Digest or some comic book I'd read. You know the ones, next to the X-Ray Specs and the Sea Monkeys.
My mom likes to play tricks. As a kid it meant her putting her ice cold hands on your back if you didn't get out of bed or snow shoved down your back if a rare snow had fallen. Our pranks on each other had escalated recently (when she chased me through the house with the hose on full with a pressure nozzle on it!-I'd sprayed her with water through the kitchen window).
The blood pills were two large gel capsules with some powder in them. They were for stage/film-hold them in your mouth until you are supposed to be bloody, then chomp them. I waited until my mom was washing dishes then popped BOTH (that's the TIFU part) gelcaps into my mouth.
"Mom, I don't feel good," I said, as I rubbed my stomach. "I think I'm going to throw up." (Chomp, chomp on the gel caps).
"Throw up in the sink!" my mom cries out.
After I bit the caps there was a moment, and then my mouth started pouring out saliva. I don't know what was in those capsules but my mouth was suddenly running like a faucet and out comes a flood of blood red saliva. It splatters into the sink and my mother, the ex-navy air traffic controller, who remains calm in any situation, suddenly begins screaming.
I try to say I'm OK but begin gagging as my mouth is overwhelmed by all the spit and foam and dye. I hack especially hard and the crushed gel caps shoot out of my mouth and splatter into the sink with a slight splatting sound. It looks like I've coughed up some lung. My moms screams turn to breathless shrieks. I rammed the dish spryer nozzle into my mouth and starts flushing out the dye and foam. I keep gagging and coughing, now made worse by high pressure water up into my sinuses. Finally I can talk and I gasp out, "it was a joke!"
I have never, ever seen my mother so mad. This was beyond the mad I saw for burning her brand new "radar range" down when I used it to melt crayons. This was beyond the sheer rage brought on by the rubber snake. (my mom was bitten by a rattle snake when she was a girl and was not a fan of snakes)
She was not happy with me, to say the least. I also felt terrible because my mom and I had always had fun playing tricks on each other. One year she had to open 14 boxes to get to the pair of earrings I had bought her for Christmas. One year I wanted a train so bad and my brother was begging for a slot car set. On Christmas morning she sits us back-to-back and we open our biggest presents. I got a slot car set. My brother got a train. We looked at each other and we agreed to trade. My mom thought it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. One year I wrapped up a necklace out of her jewelry box and gave it to her...she opens it and says, "This is my necklace!" and I said, "Yes. You never like anything (not true) so I got you something I knew you'd like." (I was, like...10? And, don't worry, I did have a real present for her).
So, our pranks had always been funny...but this time I made her think her baby (lol...funny because I tower over my teenie tiny mother) was sick. That was what finally crossed the line.
TLDR: Tricked my mom by using two fake blood gelcaps. They basically exploded in my mouth with a flood of saliva and made me gag and cough...my mom thought I was coughing up a lung. She was not happy.
Mammoth_Violinist744: I'VE BEEN POISONED BY MY CONSTITUENTS!
Vegetable-Cow-1984: Can I offer you an egg in these trying times
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1672401066 | 1672426456 | t3_zyypgx | t5_2to41 | 46 | TooWhiteTooBlack: TIFU by sending a pic of someone else’s panties to my ex
Standard this didn’t happen today but a few months ago.
This story starts a couple of years ago when my ex (f26, let’s call her Indi) and I (m24) were still together. I couldn’t tell you for certain when this happened but I have a vivid memory of Indi telling me one day that she’s lost some of her underwear. This turned into a running joke at my expense. Whenever she was looking for any of her underwear she’d suggest that I’d stolen them for ‘my collection’. All fun and games but I never found them at mine so I’d chalked it up to she’s probably lost them in some hotel or a friend’s house.
Anyway we broke up on (fairly) amicable terms. For the first few months there was basically no contact between Indi and I. During this time I was introduced to a new girl through some mutual friends. Let’s call her Tammy (f24). Now Tammy and I were having a good time for a few months. We tried to keep it casual but lots of mutual friends meant lots of seeing each other and I became concerned that the relationship was becoming too serious which wasn’t what I wanted at the time, plus I was definitely still hung up on Indi. The fault for how serious it got definitely lies with me, Tammy had stayed over at my mothers place on a couple of occasions which definitely blurred the lines of ‘casual’. We called it off.
Incidentally I had actually started talking to Indi again during the time I was casually involved with Tammy. Indi and I had seen more of each other through mutual friends and shared events which lead to a dialogue opening between us that lasted a while. Things were good between us. It didn’t feel like there was any kind of expectation there, it was just comforting being able to speak with someone who had been such a big part of my life for so long.
Fast forward slightly and I’m moving out of my mother’s home for good. I’d found a place with some friends not too far away and moved almost all of my possessions there over the course of a few weeks. One day my mum was doing a final spring clean of my old room and found a pair of black women’s underwear wedged between the back of the bed and the wall. Cue the jokes at my expense which ironically were the same underwear collection jokes Indi used to make. Without my knowledge, mother puts the underwear in one of the last bags which is heading to my new place.
Unpacking all of my stuff is a gradual operation and I’m finally down to my last few bags but being the procrastinator that I am I keep putting off doing the last bits. That is until my flatmate rolls a joint one evening. Taking a few tokes I find the motivation to begin the menial task of sorting the last of my stuff. The perfect thing to occupy my time with really as I won’t have to do any thinking right?
So I’m rummaging through my bags putting stuff away on autopilot. And then I see the panties… My brain, incapable of sound thought at this moment in time, skips over the sensible solution which was to throw them out. Instead deciding that I should figure out who they belong to and return them. The Clouseau-esqe investigation went as far as trying them on for size. Unsurprisingly they didn’t fit me. Now there are only two girls that I can recall recently having been in the bed at my mothers house. Tammy who is a smaller frame than me, and Indi who is an even smaller frame. With the panties being smaller than my size, I put 2 and 2 together and decided they absolutely must belong to Indi. I also had something of a eureka moment at this point as I recalled back to the missing underwear from years before which further solidified the idea in my stoned mined that this underwear did in fact belong to Indi. Case closed.
Confident in my hypothesis, I sent a text to Indi along the lines of “Look what my mum found down the side of my bed LOL” and a photo to go with it.
The reply didn’t take long…
“Lol”
“Not mine”
I won’t go into the details of the following onslaught of messages, happy to leave that to your imagination. Needless to say it sobered me up pretty quickly and I felt like shit. I apologised repeatedly and after the initial shock Indi actually dealt with it very well.
The next day when I was sober I looked at the underwear, now almost 100% certain they belonged to Tammy. But under the most minor scrutiny (which I wish I’d applied the evening before) I realised how stupid it would be to double down and send a photo to Tammy lest it belong to some other girl from several years ago.
I threw them in the bin.
TL;DR I found a pair of women’s underwear down the side of my bed and sent a photo to my ex. They weren’t hers.
revdre: At least she was already your ex 🤷♂️
TooWhiteTooBlack: A somewhat comforting thought
| 3 | 15.333333 | |
1670642567 | 1670707461 | t3_zhhim0 | t5_2to41 | 36 | AbbreviationsNo669: Tifu by having sex
Hey so this wasn’t today but about a week ago so I Male was talking to a girl over Snapchat and it got flirty and she asked me to pick her up and take her to mine
So I agreed and drove nearly 100kms to her house where when I arrived I realised she had in fact lied about her body she was a bigger girl which is fine but when she didn’t tell me it should’ve been an immediate red flag but for some reason I went through with the night so I take her in my car back to my house and she initiates I wasn’t really interested but felt I had to avoid hurting feelings so I did and that’s where I find out she had some really strange kinks that I definitely wasn’t into and I decided enough was enough and stopped. Then i said to her I need to take her home saying I had ‘work’ in the morning where she then started getting upset saying I used her for her body and that I was just playing her
Then I took her home and the girl left her keys inside her house when she left then I felt guilty and had to help her get into her house so I found a half open window climbed up (her house was on stilts) to get into this window to open her house where she again try’s to initiate after this I decided no and left as soon as I could
I got home and she’s spam texting me saying I used her and she hates me and I’m at home wanting to die over my decision to have sex with this girl
And now I wake up the next day to find out she’s told people about the night and made me out as a bad guy and now everyone knows about it. from what I’ve heard she went into incredible detail about me and areas
TL:DR
I had sex with a girl who lied about her body and then said I used her then she told people about my body
binterbanter: This sounded like Dateline's how to catch a predator, atleast in the first part, then the plot twist. Also, who the fuck drives 100kms for a 6min fuck.
01joja: Depends on where you live. In north of Sweden the closest person can live 20 km away. So if you slowly expand that area for girls when you are 30 you soon are in the 100 km area.
I guess it's the same in Alaska, Australia, parts of Russia and other places.
binterbanter: Interesting point. So what's the maximum distance you would drive down to and fro for a quickie beyond which it would not makes sense?
01joja: Side note. The speed limit can be 120 also, forgot about that. But the coolest thing is that you find gravel roads up there with speed limits of a 100.
binterbanter: Now that would be quite frustrating to have gravel in this particular situation specifically for the dude who posted this.
01joja: Haha 😂
ShellyMcNellee: I cannot understate how much I appreciate that you broke it down into a debate using math to determine an appropriate distance vs. pleasure ratio. 😂
01joja: Haha 😂 well I have studied computer science and engineering. #nerd
| 9 | 4 | |
1672403476 | 1672435758 | t3_zyzfjb | t5_2to41 | 10,080 | YourInfidelityInMe: TIFU by giving BJ before a free lunch
[removed]
Thomas2311: This cannot be real. Nobody would be this naive.
shinymetalobjekt: I want to see the text exchange leading to this. How does it get to "Yeah I'll suck your dick when we first meet"
SpaceCase0101: Isn't sex what tinder was all about to begin with?
vildingen: Started out by being marketed to college students for on-campus "dating", to be even more specific.
FlatSystem3121: Keep telling yourself that.
It's a sex app. People like you ruined it by trying to clean it up because of your shame.
Djeece: Lmao.
Actually getting sex on tinder is hard work, man
FlatSystem3121: Because it's flooded with people who should be on actual dating apps trying to find a husband/wife. If it was used as designed then it would be easier.
I'm sure there's a new tinder coming out that works like it should and then the clingsters will ruin that too.
Ghost17088: You sound like someone that is mad because they can’t get matches there.
FlatSystem3121: Nah dawg. I'm on r/tinder but never used the app. I'm married with the same person for 21 years.
Hug that pillow hard tonight.
vildingen: So you don't actually have first hand experience of what Tinder is like? Only second hand? From people who go to what pretty much amounts to a support forum for people who aren't getting matches and therefore most likely view Tinder through a rather more pessimistic lens than the average user? Do you see how the perspectives that you've been exposed to there might be a bit biased about the state of the app?
FlatSystem3121: Knowing "about tinder" is basically about knowing about FB. You don't have to use FB to know what it's all about. It's pretty much pop culture at this point and everywhere.
devAcc123: Loving that you think you know significantly more than everyone else about something you have literally zero experience with, just take the L man lol.
And if you’re not lying you seem significantly outside the uh, target demographic, to put it politely. Reading Reddit threads about tinder thinking you’ve got it all figured out lmao
Ghost17088: Imagine being married and knowing enough about the state of a hookup/dating app to determine it is ruined.
devAcc123: Don’t have to kick the guy while he’s down lol
| 15 | 672 | |
1670647544 | 1670699464 | t3_zhj5sg | t5_2to41 | 20 | jackofallnerd: TIFU by realizing that i in fact did over spent on a 200 dollar receipt
after confirming with my dad that he infact didn't buy anything with me on that day, i realized that i had over spent our money on stuff that we didn't need.
on that day i went with my dad to a mall to buy a couple of adias shorts, after choosing for a while we went to checkout for 2 shorts and the receipt came up to be 200 dollar, i was then thinking to myself: "guess dad pick some for himself too" and went ahead, and paid for the receipt without confirming with my dad. after which we went seperate ways for the day cause it was late and we live seperately.
and in the next day, after confirming with my dad i found out that indeed we had over spent and bought the one that did not choose, which racked up to the 200 total. and to add salt to the injury, i had lost the receipt on the way home so i can't do anything about it. and deservingly i was chewed out by my dad for not asking him or the clerk on why is the receipt so high.
TL;DR i spent 200 dollar on stuff i didn't need and have to live with it.
ooooooooooooolivia: If this was less than a month ago you can probably get a refund. The store probably still has the purchase in their system and would have you on camera buying it
Given your grammar I do assume you aren't from the US though, so maybe it's different where you live. But in that case, you can probably still try to do it.
jackofallnerd: Yeah, I'm not. I just used dollars for rough estimates of the money I used, I kinda just needed to vent and maybe get some ideas to make the most use out of the situation, so thanks for the comments.
Edit: Can I also ask, was my grammar wrong? How can I improve it?
Tdub405: It's not that your grammar is wrong. US English grammar is slightly different than other countries' English grammar. The way you worded things is what tipped me off personally, since grammar on the internet is fairly unimportant IMO.
jackofallnerd: Oh, OK.
| 5 | 4 | |
1670647905 | 1670700785 | t3_zhj9n6 | t5_2to41 | 101 | wailflower92: TIFU by going to a meeting dressed casually
Customary this didn’t happen today but a few years ago.
I remembered this story from another post that was about wearing casuals to work.
A few years ago I used to work for an organisation where there was no real dress code. Most days we’d go to work dressed extremely casually in jeans and a T-shirt.
But, I was in a team that dealt directly with our clients and so on the odd day I had a meeting I’d wear formal clothes though.
At this time though I had just started working and I was literally at the lowest position in the team so I wouldn’t have to go to meetings very often.
We were a small team. There were a few of us and we worked directly with the director of our department. I had a manager who had just quit and so I was reporting directly to the director of the department.
Now at this point one of our clients was an investment firm. I’m not talking about a small investment firm, an investment firm with an AUM of over 1 trillion dollars. My director had been trying to get a meeting with the CEO of said firm for months and had finally managed to get a meeting.
I had a few meetings over the week before the big meeting with my director about what she was going to present and we went through everything. Now, nothing during these meetings suggested I’d be in the meeting with the CEO. I was also at the lowest position in the team and I didn’t think I’d be there either.
So the fateful day of the meeting arrives and I show up at work in jeans and a bright red T-shirt. I’m going about my day and my director walks up to me and says “let’s go”
At this point I’m completely taken off guard but I think maybe she wants me to come with her for moral support and I’ll sit outside while she finishes the meeting so I go with her.
We get to the office of the investment firm and everyone is dressed in suits whilst I’m there in what I’m sure they’d describe as squalor.
My director is ushered into the conference room and to my utter horror she tells me to come with. I’m have no option but to go with her and sit down. As we wait for the CEO I’m at a state I’d call the peak of anxiety. Feet bouncing, table tapping, nail chewing.
5 minutes later the CEO enters, greets director and turns to greet me and as I get up to shake his hand he gave me a look I can only describe as disgust.
Director handled most of the meeting but she did ask for my prompts at some points and CEO ignored me for most of the part and when he didn’t he tried to make me very uncomfortable with his questions though he didn’t really manage to.
Anyways the next day my ex manager called me and asked if I really went to a meeting with CEO in jeans and a T-shirt cause the guy she used to coordinate with at investment firm called her and told her about the incident. So it clearly didn’t go down well
Tldr: Attended a meeting with the CEO of an investment firm with an AUM of over a trillion dollars in jeans and a T-shirt. He did not appreciate it
TileTone: Fancy clothes don't make people work faster
If it isn't required to dress up I don't. I've worked at several jobs where casual was fine, but business casual is what a lot of people dress with and I gave 0 fucks about it because the employee stuff said "casual"
There were several times regional managers came in. And all the managers and trainers were in full suits, carpets got extra vaccumed, we were told not to play card games in down time even because it was "unprofessional". I woke up those days and gladly grabbed a XL captain America shirt and jeans with a plain blue street jacket over with 0 care.
wailflower92: Agreed. I was really good at my job which is essentially why I’ve as told to come along and I was essentially doing what my manager should’ve been doing at the time.
But the place we went to definitely had different thoughts about dressing etiquette
Botboy141: Took me a few years of getting more comfortable and confident in what I do, but my dress should absolutely be the least of my clients concerns.
Used to be suit and tie guy in a suit and tie industry, typically jeans and a polo now, but you'll find me out at clients in shorts and a t-shirt in the summer. They don't pay my firm 100s of thousands a year for my dress, they pay it for the crapload of work we accomplish for them.
Only place I dress up beyond jeans for is the country club nowadays.
| 4 | 25.25 | |
1670649613 | 1670737073 | t3_zhjto2 | t5_2to41 | 44 | SethariahK: TIFU by ruining my parents TV
So I’m staying with my parents right now, living off unemployment as I’m in between jobs. I went to grab the surge protector that sits behind my parents TV, and slid it over ti the side. As I reached behind it, the TV started to tip and before I could fully grab it it slammed into the ground and against the tv stand. My heart sank as I quickly tried to pick it up but the damage was done, I had heard a crunching noise.
I turned it on and this is what I saw. https://imgur.com/a/ZpXkONg I tried to call my parents cause I was freaking out, and when I got ahold of them they said there’s no warranty because this is a 3 year old model. It was also a gift to my mom, and my parents were pretty broken up about it.
My dads been trying to fix it as he said he doesn’t have the money to replace it, but I know it’s no use. I fucked everything up and I know that the only way to fix it is to buy them a new one. It’s gonna be 2-3 weeks of unemployment that I don’t have right now, so I’m looking at payment plans on smart TVs. I just feel awful like I ruined their Christmas and my moms nice gift. Thought I’d share the pain this holiday season.
TL;DR I broke my parents tv and ruined their Christmas
Markaes4: As a parent (of a 9 yo who has broken/lost quite a few expensive things inc. chucking an xbox controller into a 70" tv) I promise you this will pass and they won't think any less of you.
If it makes you feel any better I crashed my dad's corvette into the back of the garage as a kid because I had no idea how to drive stick. (Edit: he was a car dealer, he didn't technically own it but used it as a demo car and had to pay for the damage.)
Flossthief: Why did the kid throw a controller at the TV?
Warpedmind0u812: Because their parents didnt teach them about taking care of their possessions, and probably just buys them anything they cry for.
Markaes4: Jump to conclusions much? Or maybe because he was a \*little kid\* (like 4) and they don't exactly have great decision making skills or coordination. Regardless it was an innocent mistake and I wasn't upset with him.
Warpedmind0u812: In your first comment you said the child was 9yo, now you say 4yo. Which is it? I still stand by what I said earlier.
Markaes4: Ok I'll go really slow for you. Yes he is 9 now. But he was once 4. That is how it works you know.
| 7 | 6.285714 | |
1670651560 | 1670711143 | t3_zhkevk | t5_2to41 | 76 | [deleted]: TIFU by indulging too much
[deleted]
apolychr: Be honest and seek help. A disaster from your habits will hit way harder than an honest discussion to your partner to find change. I say this with love. Work through it. Have fun if your life’s not in shambles… but this seems like you’re not in a good place.
ded_innit: That’s just it. I’m in a really good place. I have so much good in my life. Nice job with way above average wage. Kids all exceeding average in school (top sets and all that). Last year my NY resolution was to quit McDonald’s and Burger king  I’ve smashed that one. I’ve already internally said “No more coke in 2023”. Hope I smash it as well. Not exactly gonna tell the misses that one though. Maybe I should try shrooms instead
Ecksist: A dose of shrooms would probably help. They are known to help people kick addictions, alcohol specifically. I took a series of doses over a few months that gave me a lot of insight and rationality about alcohol and made the decision to cut waaay back much easier. Psychedelics really do help. Watch a docuseries on Netflix by Michael Polan “how to change your mind”, explains a lot.
Psychedelics are not addictive, you just take maybe 1-3 big doses over a long time and come out of them with a better understanding of yourself, what you’re doing and why you’re doing it - and why you don’t have to, don’t want to.
Also, just think about alcohol for what it is - literal poison. Yes, it makes you feel silly and fun for awhile but over time it leads to organ failure, broken relationships, possible jail time, homicide, suicide. It’s usually something we get into as dumb kids, but the older we get the more dangerous and pointless it is to drink excessively.
Squigglepig52: Well, except when the trip doesn't actually give you helpful insights.
They don't always help. For me, personally, they are a terrible idea,nothing good ever came from a trip.
Ecksist: What'd you trip on, what was it like?
Squigglepig52: Shrooms. It was unpleasant, I get nothing but seriously dark insights, the kind that hurt far more than help.
Ecksist: Sorry you had bad trips, I say try lower doses when in better settings/mindsets. Facing painful things about ourselves and others is the key to conquering them, taking their power away.
They're well known by medical professionals to have psychological / addiction-breaking benefits. Most people love how it makes them feel. Also worth noting that I'm not saying it's a instant cure-all. There's the initial trip - then afterwards the introspection continues for months and changes how you see the world and yourself usually leading to better choices. They literally create new neural pathways in the brain. There's a lot of new scientific understanding of them. Someday they'll be a mainstream medical treatment for many mental health problems.[maps.org](https://maps.org) , [https://compasspathways.com](https://compasspathways.com/)
Squigglepig52: Again, no. I know quite a few people who do not love how they make them feel.
It's great they help some people, but they don't help everybody. It's like claiming weed is a sure fire good experience for everybody.
Here's the thing - don't need shrooms to learn about yourself and create new pathways. Meditation, Mindfulness, DBT - all work give the same benefits, without the risk of a bad experience.
I'm not worried about the painful things that pop up - I just don't want to hear the "other" voice that insists everything bad, I deserve. Shrooms leave me suicidal. Feel free to use them, but I'll never touch them or acid again.
Ecksist: I noticed from your other posts that you have a very sharp, condescending, kind of know-it-all point of view. That could be the reason for your negative trips. That point of view turns in on yourself and starts picking you apart, pointing out your flaws and belittling you. Those can be useful, listen to that "other" voice, that's actually you talking to yourself the way you do others. A lot can be learned from a bad trip. Maybe the scary, sad part was the attack on your ego. Maybe your terrified that you can't live up to the high standards that you measure others against.
*Meditation, Mindfulness, DBT - all work give the same benefits, without the risk of a bad experience.*
I think that's what makes psychedelics great, they don't just show you the positive, also the negatives necessary for growth.
Obvs I don't know anything about you, I'm not intending to insult you, just a thought.
Squigglepig52: Don't be coy - you were trying to insult me. That's why you led off with your judgement of my character.
My turn. It's great you love tripping, but it's very telling that, when faced with a matter of fact contrasting opinion on your beloved trippin', you feel the need to go searching my post history and try to figure out my character, and then use said judgement to continue to force your agenda that "Trips are good, m'kay"?" down my throat. It shows an utter lack of regard for differing opinions, and a certain meanness of character.
Also, just how shallow is your thinking? Therapy isn't about nothing but good experiences, it's about looking at exactly those things you claim shrooms lets you see, the flaws and triggers, and re-wiring them. without the risk of fucking your brain chemistry up enough to have a psychotic break, or induce schizophrenia, which is always a risk.
| 11 | 6.909091 | |
1670652547 | 1670691372 | t3_zhkpn0 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by literally losing $100
[deleted]
cinnamonandmint: If it helps, I once somehow misplaced $200 USD that I had set aside as cash to take when traveling in case of emergency (if my cards didn’t work or something). I never spent it; I just…didn’t have it anymore after some trip or other, and it never turned up again. Could have been stolen, but nothing else was, so…maybe I just lost it somehow?
The only way I could make myself feel better about it was to make up a story in my head where some very deserving person found my money on the sidewalk in a moment of great need, and it was a wonderful and timely gift to them from the universe.
dekascorp: Happened to a friend, lost rent money including a deposit ; around 3000€ vanished… she came back to her dad who just told her she better learn from that mistake and consider it a donation to someone more in need (they were well off)
cinnamonandmint: I think that’s the only thing to do, if you’re fortunate enough to not have needed that money for basic needs like food and shelter - count yourself lucky that losing it isn’t a disaster for you, hope it found its way to someone who really needed it, and go on with your life.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1670652988 | 1670675161 | t3_zhkuhd | t5_2to41 | 23 | FrankDaFireTank: Tifu by being horny
So I M(21) was talking to this chick on tinder and it seemed it was going well. She then asked for my insta so we could talk on a better platform, I agreed cause tinder sucks as a messenging platform. We talk for a bit and she starts to get spicy and she asks for a video call, I accept and get one.
I had some alarm bells ringing but decided to go with it becasue I thought it was going good. Somethings seemed fishy but not enough to warrant any major concerns. We get on and start doing some stuff, I do a few stroke on camera and then I get the message that a bunch of people have been added to the call.
Instantly I disconnect and delete my account and the video platform in a panic. I then get some message on insta of the "girl" asking for money or she'll leak the video. She sends images of my Facebook and some of my friends, who she thinks is my family. Instantly I go into crisis mode and deactivate my Facebook page and hide it, blocked and report "her" on everything and tuned my phone off.
Currently no one has messaged me or said anything. Unsure if the person would send it in time or would find me again. Currently in panic a about it but hope I acted in time.
TLDR: Got horny talking to tinder chick, jumped on video call and now being asked for money or "she" will leak the video
cantnameguzy: Ignore them. What do they get out of you when they post it? They have no more pressure. Tell them "go ahead post it, then ill go to the police for CP" so many people will just pay them out of fear its not worth for them to stuck up to those who dont and risk getting the police involved.
TheOtherDutchGuy: Wouldn’t you have to look rather young for the CP bluff to work?
gosti500: I guess its also illegal to post nudes of adults without consent, so the police threat still viable
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1672405098 | 1672410933 | t3_zyzxdl | t5_2to41 | 37 | lesbiandaughterinlaw: TIFU by having hypnopompic hallucinations
I woke up and rolled over to see a head on my bed. It's my fiancée, her eyes bloodshot, blood leaking from the corner of her mouth. Blood was pooling where the neck has been severed.
I screamed and kicked out, and my foot connected with the head. Her head rolled off the bed, the last of her hair slowly sliding off the bed after it.
I began to cry and shout for her, desparate to prove this was a night terror, but there was no answer. I threw myself under my blankets and my phone caught my eye. I called her, no answer.
I started to sob harder, when I heard the door open. My fiancée came rushing in and turned the light on. She walked right over where the head would've been if it was real, proving to me that it was all a figment of my imagination.
She held my head as I sobbed into her chest and tried to shake the image of her severed head lying there, bloody, on my bed. But what did I kick?
TL;DR - I had a hypnopompic hallucination of my fiancée's severed head on my bed
Lined_the_Street: If this is true please go see a professional ASAP. This could be a sign of a serious illness either physical or mental. Might be best to make appoints with both a psychologist and a neurologist or at least your general doctor.
benwill369: This is definitely an overblown response. Hallucinations upon waking up happen to over 10-12% of people and seeing a visual hallucination only reinforces the normality. OP take this with a grain of salt and take comfort that alarming hallucinations upon waking up are extremely common.
benwill369: Even by personal experience, I’ve woken up to the vision of my mother repeatedly slamming my door shut in a terrifying way only to realize it was a horrifying hallucination. This is normal, think of it as your dreams “blending in” with reality upon waking.
benwill369: This is a normal part of being alive. It happens every now and then.
benwill369: https://www.sleepfoundation.org/how-sleep-works/hypnopompic-hallucinations
| 6 | 6.166667 | |
1672408043 | 1672448121 | t3_zz0y3y | t5_2to41 | 882 | babysharkso: TIFU by turning down a guy I really liked because of my anxiety and now I can’t stop regretting it
For context, I’ve (22f) been single for a while and met this guy at a concert event, he invited me out for a drink afterwards. We hit it off instantly and it’s not often that I come across someone I felt this trust and connection with, on top of attraction. But me being the socially awkward anxious introvert I am, I panicked in the moment and made up an excuse to go somewhere else like an idiot. He seemed to take it as me turning him down and he kept his distance after that when I REALLY liked him. We didn’t get each other’s number during the event and now I’m so regretting being an idiot and wishing I could go back in that moment to just say yes. He was funny and sweet, not to mention my exact type. Still can’t for life figure out why I unconsciously sabotaged myself when the perfect opportunity was right in front of me. I don’t know if there’s another way for us to somehow connect again, but the regret is really eating away at me right now.
TL;DR: Unconsciously turned down a guy I really liked in the heat of the moment because of my anxiety. Spending Christmas and New Years alone regretting that decision.
kenlasalle: Speaking as someone who was once ruled by his regrets, allow me to share this advice I was once told: Every regret holds you back from a better future. Regrets are our past tripping us up and preventing us from moving on. Finding a way to shut down your regret response is not easy and it takes patience but the more you try the better you will get at ignoring regret.
compellor: What about ragrets? Are those ok?
GoldenFrog14: No. No ragrets
RicoXIII: They make you pregenante
BaronCapdeville: Can I be Gregnant?
TheDryIceFactory: Oh no! I might be perganent
R_Hunt: Am I.... PRAGANANANT?
| 8 | 110.25 | |
1670658659 | 1670659078 | t3_zhmf2w | t5_2to41 | 24 | VivaIbiza: TIFU by opening my mail…
After this day, nothing was ever the same again and all I did was open an envelope…
Ok, this didn't happen today, but I just read another post about someone else who posted about something from years before, so here we go:
While at Uni I lived in a shared house with 3 other people. 2 other guys and a girl. All of us 18-19yo at the time.
I lived on the first floor with a guy with a similar name to mine. Let's say I'm J. (John) Pace and he was J. (James) Face.
When I first met James his mother accompanied him to help him move in. I tried to ask him questions and his mum would answer for him. Over and over again. He was super timid and I barely heard him speak louder than a whisper. Ever.
When I shook his hand for the first time it was like he just put his hand in mine without any pressure whatsoever. It still goes down as the worst handshake I've ever had. But, he was harmless, quiet and he was pretty easy to live with, so although we were not buddies, we got on happily enough.
One morning the post arrives as I'm having my breakfast in the living room. We all shared the same letter box so all our post arrived together. I wasn't expecting anything in particular, but there would always be something in the post of some sort or another, even if it was junk mail. So I went to the front door and picked it up. James had obviously heard the post arrive too and he was clearly expecting something so he was watching on intently at what I had in my hand. Randomly it was all for me.
3 items all addressed to J Pace.
I saw him at the top of the stairs and waved the two letters and the large brown envelope at him and said "It's ok, it's all for me". He looked disappointed and went back into his room.
I finished breakfast and went up to my room and opened the bank statements and bills first, and then the brown envelope. Instantly I was dubious of it. It was out of the ordinary and I wasn't expecting anything of this size. Perhaps something from my parents I thought?
I opened it and it was a magazine. "Strange... I wonder who's sent me this?"
I pulled it out and saw it for all its glory. It was, and still is to this day, the most graphic gay porn magazine I'd ever seen. I instantly tried to put it back into the envelope but something else was in there stopping it, it was an invoice.
Thoughts raced through my head that someone had played a trick on me by sending this in the first place, but with this invoice they had somehow to make ME pay for it!? I double checked the address, yep mine. Double checked the name, yes it's mine. This made no sense. How could I have been made to pay for it?
Confused, I checked again... oh shit.
Nope. This wasn't for J. Pace at all. This was for J Face. My flat mate.
On top of this effectively meaning I was the only person in the world that now knew that he was gay, but I also had his gay porn and he knew it! (I had waved the envelope that he was clearly waiting for at him from the bottom for the stairs)
To make matters worse I had also clearly and obviously opened it too! I couldn't even pretend I hadn't as I had torn it open.
Now what the hell do I do?
After a few mins of panic, I did the only thing I could think of and I fixed the envelope as best I could with some glue and then on my way out of the house later that day, I posted it back through the letter box again in the hope that he wouldn't realise that it was the same package as before.
I'd love to say he fell for it.
He didn't.
We were not friends as such before. But after this incident, he never spoke to me ever again. It was super super awkward between us.
I moved out at the end of the year and I heard that he came out to the other house mates the year after too.
Still, he avoided me like the plague. I suppose he thought I had opened his mail on purpose, but it was a complete accident and that because of the contents, I was too embarrassed to ever talk to him to explain.
TL;DR I accidentally opened my similarly names flatmates mail to find gay porn, thought it was mine, realised it wasn’t, had to pretend I never opened it when I clearly had. Failed and was then ignored for the rest of days.
Reyalta: Aww, too bad you didn't just knock on his door and tell him the mix up! Could have been a bonding moment for you guys, or at the very least let him know that it was fine for him to be gay.
But then at 18-19 it's hard enough (no pun intended) to just be alright with yourself, let alone everyone else lol.
VivaIbiza: Agreed. It’s a big regret I didn’t handle it differently.
| 3 | 8 | |
1670656466 | 1670691769 | t3_zhltnl | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by repeatedly talking shit about an artist and employer while they could overhear me the whole time
[deleted]
NoctuaFanGuy: "we was working"
Yeah I'm out.
qndel: >today we was working
Hahaha I literally came here to write the exact same thing :D
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1670661595 | 1670663215 | t3_zhn82z | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my phone unlocked with my father in law.
[deleted]
Auroraburst: Absolutely tell your wife, she needs to know that he is doing this sort of thing and to watch out for her own phone.
Honestly I'd fill my phone with pictures of random naked dudes (tell the wife you're doing it though) and watch for the awkwardness after he goes through it.
BigDirtyNewports: Turn screen recoding with audio on and leave the phone on the couch again lol. That way you can tell if he either gasps in disbelief or if he starts fapping. If they manage to catch both outcomes in one recording it’s double points.
| 3 | 22 | |
1670660445 | 1670739843 | t3_zhmx17 | t5_2to41 | 232 | Ians_Life: TIFU by being a horny teenager and clicking a link on Omegle
Ok so this happened when I was around the age of 15 I would say, I am 20 now. I had only ever used Omegle a couple times in my life. I hadn’t used it in years and was horny so I decided I would hop on and test my luck. I don’t really know what I was expecting tbh. Anyway I was posing as an 18 year old male during each chat. I quickly come across a person who said they were a 17 year old female after I said I was 18m. We talked for a bit and they asked if I wanted to watch them masturbate live. Me being the absolute moron that I was, blinded by my hornyness said yes, they sent a link, and I clicked on it. It opened up into nothing, and immediately after they started typing my location, the town I live in, zip code, etc. At this point I am freaking the fuck out and I don’t stick around. I immediately turn my pc off, my heart racing. After a short time I try to turn the pc back on, (it was my moms computer) and I get a blue screen. The computer was totally fried and would not turn on and wouldn’t work anymore. At this point I’m nearly having a panic attack. Im freaking out that my moms computer is destroyed and worried that cops would be knocking on my door if the person called the cops and told them someone here was trying to watch child porn. Thankfully nothing ever happened, besides my mom having to pay hundreds to fix the computer. She just thought it was because it was old. I was also worried the guy that fixed the computer would be able to tell what happened, but that wasn’t the case. I still cringe thinking back on this. It’s sad because looking back I totally respect what the person was doing, frying a bunch of peoples computers that wanted to watch underage girls. Its just unfortunate I was young and dumb and fell for the trap.
TL;DR : Was a horny teenager, went on Omegle, clicked a link, got my location tracked, computer fried, nearly had a panic attack.
SerpentineSylph: Sounds like you fell for an IP tracing ploy, pretty common to extort/scare the bejesus out of various flavors of pervert on sites like that. Though unless you downloaded something and ran it im not sure what could brick your computer from that. Typically those things are just an empty page somewhere innocuous with a way to see the details of any machine connecting to it, though its possible you might have slammed the laptop hard and caused an issue there because of fright.
I know nothing of computers though i just knew someone who cooked up something like that in order to mess with a cheater in their community tf2 server, but this was years and years ago so idk whats changed since then and when you had this happen.
It sucks though. Hopefully you learned something.
Ians_Life: Yeah I have literally no idea how it was possible, I don’t think I downloaded anything unless something can be automatically downloaded just from clicking a link? I’m not really good with computers either. I definitely learned from it haha
NonvaluableRareItem: This is how it’s possible: you don’t need to download anything. When you click on the link, any link, even google.com, your PC sends a request to the relevant server, that request contains your IP. Anyone can then look up that IP to see where it origins (your town).
In your case, that person may have used a service, where it generates a link for the victim to click, and another link for the person to collect results (who clicked).
Ians_Life: Yup I understand how I was traced but what I don’t understand is how they destroyed my computer. It literally stopped working minutes after it all happened
VoidCoelacanth: Dude, if you just slammed the power button, that could do it. It would be a fringe case fluke happening, but that CAN brick a computer. There is a reason they have power-down cycles and Sleep modes and all that.
I once had a brief power outage due to weather - like 5s power outage - and even though my PC was hooked to a voltage regulator (think of these as something halfway between a power strip and a UPS/battery backup, just minus the battery) it STILL had kernel files damaged. I had to copy the damaged kernel files directly from rescue disc to sys32 directory in command line. Scared the shit outta me but was ultimately an easy fix.
SerpentineSylph: Physical damage due to impact is my theory. I once had a HD on an old laptop get jacked up because the person i had loaned it to shut the laptop too hard and it jiggled something internally just slightly out of where it needed to be. Fortunately after a quick look inside it was easy to slip the wire back into the connector in that case
VoidCoelacanth: OP *never said it was a laptop,* so I assumed "Sudden Shutdown Syndrome" over physical damage.
If it was in fact a laptop, yes, any slamming causing physical damage is more likely.
SerpentineSylph: Wow thats so weird. I could have *sworn* it said it was a laptop in the OP. I had been up for about 30 hours at that point though and guess i had misread something to infer that when it wasnt actually there
VoidCoelacanth: Nah, just said PC several times.
Honestly it isn't a *bad* assumption, tons of people use laptops these days. Just not explicitly stated/confirmed.
SerpentineSylph: Yeah rereading it now i can see its never mentioned. Huh. TIFU by misconstruing something due to sleep deprived dyslexia
| 11 | 21.090909 | |
1670661883 | 1670672818 | t3_zhnasa | t5_2to41 | 21 | CarpetEmbarrassed965: TIFU by asking my close female friend to prom
This happened not to long ago. I was close friends with this girl (we’re both 17 in hs) and I decided I wanted to go to the school dance with her. I mustered up courage and asked her out while also giving her a gift I got while on vacation (Singapore). She said she doesn’t know and I wait til tm. I sit next to her and she replies with “I don’t want to go to the dance” which is as good as a no. And she gave back my gift I gave her. She was extremely insistent of not accepting the gift.
Later, we agreed to forget it happened and to not let it affect our friendship. It did. We talk less, hang out less, and I can tell I annoy her sometimes. Thing is, i can tell she was really comfortable with me. She even cried to me once which I didn’t expect.
I’m not sure if I’ve got feelings for her, or what. I wasn’t really that hurt from the rejection I didn’t think too much of it but I’m still curious on where I fucked up.
Tldr: I asked a close friend to prom and she said she didn’t want to go. I also gave her a gift while asking but she didn’t accept it, and now things are stale between us and we’ve gotten distant.
OriginalName483: Have you talked to her about it?
Imo you didn't fuck up. From what you've said, it sounds like you were fine (though obviously there could be missing details that make it more of a fuck up)
This seems like a slow creeping relationship problem, and the biggest threat with those I think is that the longer they go unaddressed, the more awkward, uncomfortable, and seemingly stupid it feels to address them. Things got a little awkward, but every day you put off trying to reconnect, the more awkward that attempt will feel.
Assuming you've both had a couple days or whatever to work over any immediate weird feelings, I'd strongly recommend being direct and talking it out, before it's too uncomfortable. The fuck up is doing nothing and letting a friendship decay
CarpetEmbarrassed965: So like do I just start talking to her about it? Do I just mention we’ve been straying further? I’m really uncertain. Like I’m not really “in love” with her I just wanted to go to the dance w her. I’m kinda interested but ig that was my attempt to see if I’m actually interested in a relationship w her. But if I do talk to it about her, won’t that make things more awkward after?
OriginalName483: An awkward thing happened between you and your friend, and you feel like it affected your friendship and you're drifting apart. You seem kind of unhappy about how that went, and how things are going, and you're worried you did something wrong. You don't have to talk about the awkward thing. Try to talk to her about that.
It's not about love or a dance or anything. You're not talking to your friend. Ask if she's cool or if she wants to talk about anything. Try to hang out with your friend again. Maybe she thinks you're avoiding her. Maybe she thinks it'd be too awkward to talk about or thinks she hurt your feelings. Or as others here said maybe she's worried you're just trying to sleep with her.
Don't worry about it being awkward. You're friends. You've probably been embarrassing in front of her before. What's more awkward than anything you're going to say now is coming back 6 months+ later with asking her to a dance being the last time you talked. Work it out now. It'll only get harder if you wait for it to fix itself.
CarpetEmbarrassed965: It could be that’s she’s just not interested anymore. And girls usually don’t like to admit it. What do I do because that’s really what I think she thinks
OriginalName483: Ask her. You said you're close friends why can't you talk
CarpetEmbarrassed965: Well not really anymore. I feel like she’s been close friends w me cuz I was really her only friend. Now she has other friends so I’m sure she doesn’t need me anymore. She was new and ig she needed someone to settle her in. I don’t approach her and she doesn’t approach me like how it used to be. She thinks I’m into her I think and it’s probably making her feel, for a lack of a better word, weird. I want to make it clear to her that I’m not really “I’m love with her” I’m just fond of her. But idk how to go on about that.
| 7 | 3 | |
1671425367 | 1671485064 | t3_zpi9w5 | t5_2to41 | 290 | YourInfidelityInMe: TIFU I gave a car snow job without making sure he could 100% take me home
I am FREEZING and my face hurts from the snow. I’m waiting for the Uber driver and I hope to god he finds me. I have my phone out on highest brightness in case he can’t see where I am.
Earlier, I met a Tinder match I had been dirty chatting with at a cafe. Since we really hit it off in person, I decided to be naughty and offered him a car snow job. It’s basically a car BJ, when it is snowing. When the snow hits the windows and windshield, the snow either sticks or melts on the glass, giving the people (us) in the car pretty good privacy when it’s dark.
He didn’t say no. He took me to a park overlooking the water. He turned off the car and let the poorly lit parking area and snow/slush on the SUV provide us the privacy we needed for the BJ adventure. No one was out anyhow.
He liked it so much he never got soft. He came twice, and wanted me to keep going. But it started to get cold, so I asked him to take me back. On the way back, his roommate called. I’m not sure what she said but he had to head home immediately, so immediately that he stopped the car at a bus stop and asked me to get an Uber.
I mean, I wasn’t going to refuse to leave his SUV. So I stepped out and called for an Uber immediately. At least the bus stop has a shelter, but the snow/slush is coming down sideways and when it hits me in the face it actually hurts. My last Uber canceled on me, probably worried about the hill, but I got one who is just a few minutes away now.
My Tinder match just texted saying sorry he had an emergency and would text me to explain later. It better be a damn good explanation.
TL;DR: Gave a car snow job and got dumped at a bus stop afterwards. It’s freezing cold and I have my phone on highest brightness, typing to keep the screen bright, so the Uber driver can see where I am when he is near. My face hurts and my fingertips are numb. I should have made sure I would get a ride home before I got in his SUV. And I’m a little delirious from the cold.
RetroReactiveRuckus: I don't think that was just a roommate that text.
OP I hope you get home safe. Any idea how long that will be now?
YourInfidelityInMe: Just got in Uber. It us warm. And I’m a little dizzy I don’t know why. But I’m good. Will take a hot shower when home
Bubbagumpredditor: Careful you don't make the water too hot, if you are that cold you might burn yourself without realising
Phighters: Dude, she's chilled at a bus stop, not coming down from Everest.
Vroke: ‘He’ btw
Phighters: Whatever, it literally doesn’t matter. Someone got their rock off, someone got cold.
Vroke: All I did was correct you on the gender of the person who have the ‘snow job.’ I didn’t say anything else.
General_Pepper_3258: Chill man. They gave medical advice and your popping off about gender. It doesn't matter. It's medical advice.
Randalls-bussy-idk: Op is a gay man tho
| 10 | 29 | |
1672413826 | 1672414503 | t3_zz33n3 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to get my cousin in trouble with his GF
[deleted]
SalmonNgiri: You used three paragraphs and a TL;DR to describe the most boring tidbit ever and tried to claim it’s a TIFU?
That’s 2 minutes I’m not getting back
gzlovesyou: Yeah bs!
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1670677162 | 1670678981 | t3_zhryy4 | t5_2to41 | 17 | NoDelivery-TBK: TIFU Honesty sucks
Well TIFU by telling my partner she could sleep with her friend. Her, F25 and her friend had been mentioning a hall pass for a night out and I never said anything but apparently they were joking. After the night out she got home and she said she never slept with her so I said I'd have been fine with it if she had so long as she phoned prior and properly asked. My reasoning was that as long as we are open and honest and we bothe agreen on who she sleeps with and as long as there are no other men then I didn't have an issue.
My reasoning behind the decision is that she is 90% gay but never been with a woman before. So long as it doesnt interfere with our family life and As long as I'm the only guy she's with I can't see a problem with her fooling around with a woman.
Now she is freaking out saying that the only reason I'm saying this is because I have cheated on her or that I want to sleep with someone else aswell. FTR I don't. I have no interest in other people and she's all I need.
Now she's pissed at me and upset and I'm being made to feel like I'm in the wrong for being honest and communicating and not having a problem and I don't know what to do now. Shes now convinced herself im cheating and I feel like I can't talk to anyone as this isn't something we would want to broadcast.
TL;DR told my partner I was okay with her sleeping with a woman now she thinks I'm cheating
Devolutionator: Obviously the solution is to sleep with them both at the same time.
NoDelivery-TBK: No thanks that doesn't interest me 😂
dchappa21: She knows your reddit account handle huh.
NoDelivery-TBK: Doesn't even know redit exists 😂
5zalot: Doubt
NoDelivery-TBK: Maybe but she doesn't use it and I doubt she's ever been on or been interested
| 7 | 2.428571 | |
1670678035 | 1670686992 | t3_zhs9y9 | t5_2to41 | 33 | In_TouchGuyBowsnlace: TIFU By wanting to manscape with Nair before I meet my Girlfriend.
I've been with my girl for three months over FaceTime and online.
On New year's eve she is flying 1200km's to meet me and spend three weeks here on the Sunshine Coast in QLD.
I FUCKED UP, by wanting to rid myself of old pubic hair and manscape and have it grow back new and fresh before her arrival.
In my eagerness and haste I decided to use Nair hair removal cream. This is a method I have used in the past with great success, but unfortunately this time around I grabbed Nair legs and body removal cream and not the cream for sensitive areas....
Usually I'll apply this to my bits with care. But in my haste I applied this extra strength stuff all over my junk in a rather thick amount AND.... I DID NOT protect my knob like I usually do 🔥🔥🔥 Cue pain like I've never known to exist.
Within mere seconds it felt like my groin was being attacked by fire ants and wasps with spinning razors for a mouths.
I jumped in the shower to rinse off but too late the damage done.
My knob was chemical burnt in less than 30 second and every time I go to pee now I have to gently remove my underwear like Velcro.
TLDR: I wanted to have a fresh forest playground for my new girlfriend's visit and used extra strength Nair on very sensitive bits...
Now my know has weeping chemical 3rd degree burns and I'm just a week or two from meeting her.... FML.
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SAFER TO USE A CUTTHROAT.
Kat1eQueen: Why were you in a rush to remove it when her visit is one or two weeks away?
In_TouchGuyBowsnlace: So it has time to grow back just a little bit, and is all soft and new... And easier to keep nice than the wirey shit I had going on.... I know, I know.... I should've thought it out more.
sylvvxx: I feel like it wouldve been much easier to use a trimmer, which wouldve acheived the same effect. Although, then you wouldnt have a story to tell on tifu
crypticsage: Gotta do it for the story.
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1672415006 | 1672417847 | t3_zz3kgg | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with a girl while I had scabbies
[removed]
Duality26: Lol Scabbies isn't some life threatening disease, nor some crazy incurable STD.
It's a rash, you're life is far from over. Get a grip.
H3ll_Pr0digy: Arent scabies bugs that burrow into your skin? Like... isn't that where the rash comes from? I've googled scabies a lot cause it's my worst fear.
TroublemakingB: WTF do the bugs come from?
H3ll_Pr0digy: It's like bed bugs. People just encounter them then they spread around. That's what I figure anyway but I'm not a scientist
| 5 | 5.6 | |
1672417227 | 1672453619 | t3_zz4idl | t5_2to41 | 3,384 | bloobuttercup: TIFU by inviting a tinder match over
Technically, it happened last night butttt
I (21F) matched with someone (26M) on Tinder last night. We started chatting and I thought it'd be nice to meet but I didn't want to meet last night. He kept pushing, and eventually, around 10 p.m., I said whatever come over, we can watch movies see what happens. The whole night was awkward..
He drank a couple beers he brought with him and I sat on the couch with him but he seemed to nervous to make a move and I was fine with that because after meeting him in person I wasn't that interested. We talked, and it was okay, I kept putting on movies, hoping that he'd sober up and go home..
He never made a move on me really besides the fact that instead of talking to me he asked if I wanted to make out via snapchat even though we were sitting right next to each other and then asked if I wanted to lay down at 3 am when I had gotten off the couch to go to the bathroom then decided to sit on the bean bag after so maybe he'd get the hint I wanted him to go
Nope it's currently 10 am the next day he's still asleep on my couch and I don't know what to do cause I want him to leave I've been quietly creeping around my own apartment waiting for him to wake up and head out cause I don't know him that well and I don't want to wake him up.
I literally slept on my beanbag in the living room with him on the couch to avoid any potential misunderstanding or him wanting to come to my bedroom with me. I'm so uncomfortable, and I regret caving in and letting him come in the first place.
Now I'm sitting in my bedroom, still waiting for him to get up and go
TL;DR I invited a Tinder date match Iverson after he pressured me to now he's still asleep on my couch after a very awkward night
ETA: I woke him up and said I needed him to leave so I could get some stuff done, and he had me walk him out and asked for a hug, which i gave him.. and he wants to hang out again...
ETA 2: After he officially left I messaged saying I'd like to cut things off as I wasn't interested and he just said alright and I made sure to unadd him from tinder and snapchat I feel bad 😅
ETA 3: Since many people are confused about my wording
"he asked if I wanted to make out via snapchat even though we were sitting right next to each other" what i meant here is that he typed out "wanna make out" and sent it to me through the snapchat app while we were in the same couch
kappsylen: You're too nice.
Sometimes it's okay just just bluntly ask someone to leave.
bloobuttercup: My friend just said the same thing to me! I messaged him after he left saying I think it'd be best to cut things off here cause i wasn't feeling it and my friend said she would've just immediately blocked him once he was out the door 😂
thrwaway9932: Why would you invite him to your house when he's a total stranger? It's like you're asking for trouble. Better to meet at a public place first to check vibe. If things go south, you can walk out and he'll never know where you live.
bloobuttercup: That's what I told him I wanted to do but he kinda kept pushing it until I said yes because I was interested in meeting him but it was weird
thrwaway9932: A pushy guy is disrespectful and selfish, only after what he can get. By the looks of it, he wanted sex. I don't know if you did too. Why would you still be interested? And why would you agree?
bloobuttercup: I was kinda hoping it would be better in person and that we would be compatible but it was definitely more awkward and ive never hooked up with anyone before so I wasn't going to stay with this person who ended making me more uncomfortable and I wasn't attracted to in person
VaultDweller77: When you say you never hooked up with anyone before, you mean you never had a one night stand or that you're a virgin?
bloobuttercup: Never had a one night stand
I've only had one partner who I was with for 3 years
VaultDweller77: Alright, I get you.
I will share my own story (one of them) of idiotic decisions taken while thinking with my genitalia, it might make you feel better:
I messaged this girl a few times online when I was around 20 years old. I don't think we exchanged more than 5 messages each. Out of the blue, a couple days later she messages me to tell me she really wants to meet me in person and she had some time off that day, so I agreed. Told me to wait for her somewhere, she drove there and I got in her car. She was definetly older than what she had told me but I was horny so didn't care. Two minutes after meeting her she was trying to put her hand inside my trousers while driving with the other one, then she suddenly stops, turns to face me and asks me if I like knives.
At that point I was beyond weirded out so I asked her why. "I own a hunting gear shop, if my boyfriend asks me who you are I can tell him you're a client looking to buy a knife".
Got out of her car in less than a minute, deleted her number and blocked her online.
bloobuttercup: Jfc people are crazy
VaultDweller77: That day I learned to not get into cars driven by strangers I have only known from online messaging, catch a hint.
In fact it left such a mark on me, I was talking to this girl who wanted to meet me, she didn't invite me to her house exactly, but she did say a few times she trusted me enough to come to my house or have me go to hers for our first time in person. Every time I told her that I wouldn't want to put her through that and we should meet somewhere public for her sake (and mine).
| 12 | 282 | |
1672418096 | 1672453378 | t3_zz4uvh | t5_2to41 | 70 | Titanwaves: TIFU by taking two edibles
TIFU by taking two edibles
Obligatory this happened mostly yesterday, technically, but lasted past midnight so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My friend brought cannabis infused peanut butter cups to my bachlorette party. I've only done joints or hit a pen in the past while I was already very, very drunk. Some people enjoy crossing. I am not one of those people. I've only had horrible experiences after taking weed because of that and then get an equally bad if not worse hangover to follow. But we've talked about it, and I agreed to take edibles since I've been wanting to give weed another try - sans the alcohol.
So after lunch me and two of my bridesmaids settle in for an afternoon of movies (my other two bridesmaids did not partake and just got a kick out of this). We eat one edible and then I set my alarm for an hour, I know they take a while to kick in.
What I didn't know was that weed has like a reverse tolerance the more you take it. My one bridesmaid is a bone fide pot head. My maid of honor bridesmaid smokes socially with her friends. They both felt the weed kick in around the 45 minute mark. The last time I smoked was in college, pre-pandemic. I felt nothing when my alarm went off. I gave it another half hour, nothing. So now my bridesmaid and maid of honor are telling me I should take another because "10mg of weed is NOTHING!" I have another 10mg edible, set my alarm for another hour. They taste great, by the way. My friend got some really good high quality edibles.
Another 20 minutes pass, one of the sober bridesmaids suggest we go shopping. I walk upstairs to get my shoes, sit on the bed to put them on, and then....it all hit. I felt like I was dunked in ice water, but not at all cold. Like the world was lagging and I had to move really slowly or else I'd clip through the floor. I put my shoes on and felt way too aware on my toes. It was like I was tipsy but without the sickness or stupidity of alcohol. It was honestly great. I felt chill and like everything was a little bit funny. I kept giggling.
Problem was that feeling got more and more intense. While walking around the mall I could barely think. All my energy was on putting one foot in front of the other and making sure I didn't fall over. Gravity felt like it was pulling me to the left for some reason. And the chillness quickly wore away in paranoia. I felt exactly as I did before I started taking my anxiety meds. Like I was constantly doing something wrong, that my bridesmaids are unhappy at the mall and it's all my fault, that I don't deserve this amazing party they made for me. I got it in my head that they hated doing these activities with me (even though they suggested shopping) and I should rush to finish it so we can leave. So I'm power walking through the mall, my maid of honor is trailing me to make sure I didn't get lost. I totally would have gotten lost without her babysitting me, she was great.
After that we went to a brewery for food and drinks. Thank Pete I had the good sense to not order beer. I'd been feeling it for about 3 hours at this point. I actually don't remember this part too well. But who needs memories when my lovely bridesmaids have copious amounts of blackmail material now. My maid of honor has a pretty funny video of me silently and very slowly eating a pizza slice. The other high bridesmaid had a great photo of us just completely out of it. We were at a high top and I was gripping the chair to prevent myself from falling to the left. I genuinely did not have a single thought in my head. I couldn't think of a single thing to say or do, I just had a feeling that if I opened my mouth it would be horrible. I was apparently completely silent for about 2 hours. But I was chugging water. Just downing it like crazy, my mouth was so dry. And shaking.
I don't remeber this, but this morning I saw my recent Google searches and aparently I was Googling like crazy. "Shaking from weed normal?" "How long does 20mg last" "weed no balance" "does water make a high go away?" I Googled "sunfish" twice apparently?
We got back to the house, settled in for more movies for the rest of the night. I started to come out of it more and more as the hours passed, with around 1am being when I felt totally normal again.
I looked it up this morning. 3-5mg is considered a good beginner dose for "new and/or inconsistent users".
20mg is a high dose, "only recommended for edible consumers: expect strong euphoria and impared coordination and/or perception."
I asked my bridesmaid who brought the edibles if she knew this, and she was like "oh yeah, I probably should have mentioned that, huh?" YES. YES YOU SHOULD HAVE! We were all just roasting her over breakfast for drugging me, haha!
TL:DR I haven't done weed in years, stupidly took 20mg at my bachlorette party. Glad I did it, never doing it again!
Shishire: Yeah, in the future, we recommend _2_ hours before you consider taking another one. We've found that depending upon a variety of factors including how recently you've eaten, it can take anywhere from 30 to 120 minutes for the dose to hit you.
You definitely don't want to be high in public until you're a bit more comfortable with it, as it can be a very disorienting experience, as you found out.
Titanwaves: Live and learn 😂
Shishire: Definitely! See if you can find some 2.5mg gummies (they do exist), and try taking, one night at a time, 5mg, 7.5mg, 10mg, and 12.5mg on a full stomach. You might not feel the 5mg or 7.5mg, but you should definitely feel the others, and can use that to gauge future doses.
smelling_the_roses: Yep. [My fave.](https://viiahemp.com/product/lowdose-gummies/)
| 5 | 14 | |
1670816099 | 1670972922 | t3_zjlmh2 | t5_2to41 | 215 | Curls_and_Glasses: TIFU by getting drunk after being sober for 8 months
A little back story. I started drinking from a very early stage of my life (definitely not proud of it). I didn’t think I had a drinking problem since I’d only drink on “special occasions”, but whenever that happened it was something like “go hard or go home”, so I’d always end up completely wasted. This year, after my 25th birthday I decided to completely quit drinking, since getting drunk only caused problems in my life. It wasn’t impossible, but it was a little hard at least. People around me started to see the change in me and some of them even cheered me for my decision.
Well, yesterday I attended a party (not the first one since I went sober) and I was feeling really confident about not drinking. Long story short: after some pressure from friends, I ended up agreeing on taking a shot. Then another one. And then there were more, so I ended up getting drunk. After somehow regaining consciousness, I realized mi FU and decided to go home. Once I got there I simply cried until I fell asleep.
I feel really disappointed, cause my parents were really proud of me, they even told me they were excited for celebrating my sobriety anniversary next year. I just feel like I betrayed myself and just flushed 8 months of progress down the toilet.
TL;DR: I got drunk after being completely sober for 8 months. Wasn’t worthy and now I cant stop feeling disappointed and ashamed of myself.
Edit: I’ve been reading all the comments and the DMs I got, and I can’t thank you all enough for all the kind words, the encouragement and the trust on sharing personal experiences. I’ve decided to come clean to my parents and tell them the truth. Also, I’ve decided to take some distance from friends who don’t really get my decision on being sober. Hope you all have wonderful lives. (Sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language).
This_Space_For_Rnt: Today is day 1. Start again. Keep starting again till you don’t have to start again. You can do this. Also, those friends, aren’t your friend. If they were, they wouldn’t have pushed you to drink knowing that you had stopped intentionally. Get better friends.
MrMissus: This isn't true. I'm a recovering alcoholic and have had to distance myself from certain friends. They aren't bad people, they are good friends. They just don't understand. When I'd go out with them we'd drink and have a great time, I'd rarely get smashed. They didn't see when I'd go home after and binge for a week and not go to work. They just couldn't understand and they wouldn't be able to until they saw it with their own eyes and that wouldn't have happened unless my life completely fell apart.
It's one thing to tell somebody to distance themselves from people who will influence you in a negative way, it's another to say they aren't really your friends. It's kind of gaslighting, you don't know this person or their friends. Telling somebody the people they know and love don't care about them because they are ignorant to what alcoholism looks like or how long term and significant recovery can be is just putting really negative thoughts and ideas into a person's head and can be harmful to the process in the long run.
I think a more empathetic and less aggressive stance would be to say know yourself and know your friends and if you think a certain person in a certain situation may trigger you in a way you believe might affect you negatively try to avoid that situation. Especially considering that the onus is on the alcoholic to stay sober. Regardless of any problematic friends you might have you can't go through life sober in this world without knowing you may end up in a situation that is triggering. Peer pressure can come from strangers, from dates, from new relationships. If those situations cause you to falter you need to work on your ability to deal with them because you won't be able to avoid them forever and spending your life trying to do that will ultimately isolate you from society to one degree or another and that can be an even worse situation to be in.
Also, despite what may be said in this thread, you're not one day sober, you aren't starting over. This mistake doesn't in any way undo the 8 months of sobriety you worked hard to achieve, that AA attitude is outdated and unhelpful. Having one fuck up in 8 months doesn't make you an alcoholic again starting from day one. You're still sober if you stay sober.
Neenknits: There is a bunch of new information on addiction that AA doesn’t pay attention to, and a lot of what AA does that doesn’t work for everyone. And a LOT of judging that is harmful by AA. I mean, that whole business of feeling sorry for the “unfortunates” who can’t get better?
Ultimately, obviously, whether or not one drinks is one’s own responsibility, it’s not on the friends to prevent, but decent people don’t actively try to make it *harder* for someone. Neutral offer is one thing, pushing and not talking a no, actively making it harder is something else. And, besides, there are lots of reasons one might not be drinking. It’s no one’s business, and the person shouldn’t be getting pressure, for any of the reasons!
MrMissus: I don't know how this is relevant to what I said. But whatever, I guess fuck them forever. that's the typical Reddit response for everything.
"Go no contact with your parents and never talk to them again!"
"You're friends don't love you! cut them out of your life!"
"Divorce your husband, hes a fuckboi!"
If Reddit had its way nobody would have any relationships at all. People are flawed, you take the good with the bad.
Neenknits: If you point out to them how their behavior is harmful, decent people will apologize and stop doing it. If so, they are friends. If not, they aren’t.
MrMissus: Ignorance is not evil. Again, you are simply wrong and it is a genuinely harmful attitude to propagate to addicts. You cannot say that those people aren't his friends or that they have negative intentions.
Telling somebody that their friends are trying to harm them, don't care about them and never did is conspiratorial and paranoid. It's harmful to put those thoughts into a recovering addicts head. Telling somebody that their friends are harmful to their recovery is less aggressive and isolating.
"I'm alone, the people I thought cared about me are trying to harm me, they don't want me to get better, they are trying to sabatoge my recovery."
These aren't healthy thoughts to try and insist upon an addict.
Just stop already. I'm speaking from experience, I know my friends, you don't. OP knows his friends, you don't. Despite your arrogance, you're not an authority on the complicated interpersonal relationships of strangers. My friends are flawed, ignorant but good people, just like me. If I cannot forgive them for their flaws how could I forgive myself for mine? They are only as stupid and broken as I am, just in different ways.
Neenknits: If you point out to people that their behavior is harmful, decent people change their behavior. I didn’t say anything about “they aren’t your friends”.
I have seen people push food onto people that they cannot safely eat. People who have pushed alcohol onto people who cannot safely drink (for reasons other than alcoholism as well as alcoholism). People who have pushed others to do all sorts of things that they cannot safely do. When told not to do so, decent people stop. People who continue to push after being told to stop are not respecting boundaries. Decent people respect boundaries.
This isn’t exactly rocket science.
MrMissus: >I didn’t say anything about “they aren’t your friends”.
You literally said "If so, they are friends. If not, they aren't"
Neenknits: Oh, I means t AFTER you tell them. I was brought up to understand that people who care about you listen to you.
MrMissus: Your arrogance is astounding.
*you* are telling *me* that *my* friends *you don't know* don't care about me, with **absolute** authority. You don't need to know them, know anything about them, my history with them, their history with me. Nothing, you need zero context, they just 100% aren't my friends and you **know** that.
People are flawed. If your attitude was how my friends and family treated me for the way I hurt them directly/indirectly due to my alcoholism I would have been abandoned forever by everyone. The knife cuts both ways.
But again, this is typical Reddit nonsense. No forgiveness, no empathy, no understanding. Immediately and permanently dissolve decades long relationships because they aren't benefiting you right now the way you want them to.
Neenknits: Are you really saying that people who care about you don’t listen to you?
This is a thing that is taught in preschool “listen to your friend’s words”
MrMissus: Again, you're telling me you know that my friends aren't my friends. Explain to me how you know that about my friends. Seriously.
Neenknits: I have no idea who your friends are. I will maintain, that decent people listen to others, and stop when asked.
MrMissus: Decent people also forgive others and have understanding that ignorance is not a sin.
I hurt some people with my selfish and destructive behaviour due to my alcoholism, I wasn't a 'decent' person. But because they care about me and they know who I am they forgave me.
according to you they should have instantly shunned me for the rest of my life. Decent people don't do indecent things, it's as simple as that, right? A preschooler could understand, right?
How do you reconcile the expectation of an alcoholic to receive support and empathy for the way they are flawed and the harm it has caused while at the same time believing that the alcoholic should give none of that in return to the people around them that are differently flawed?
Neenknits: Did I ever say one should not accept an apology? I said they should stop when asked. If someone doesn’t stop, they ARE NOT acting well. If you choose to give them time, you can. Or you can avoid them. Up to you. But by no metric are they behaving decently when they are ignoring requests to behave properly.
MrMissus: Nobody said they were behaving properly you obtuse idiot. **YOU** said that they aren't friends. The post I responded to said that they aren't friends and you need to get rid of those people.
What *I* said was that is not true, a recovering alcoholic needs to distance themselves from negative influences and that includes friends who may influence or pressure you to drink. But that doesn't mean they aren't your friends or that they don't care about you, just the same way that my problematic behaviour doesn't mean that I don't care about them.
I've said this like 7 times now. I've repeated exactly that sentiment in every response to you so far. How long is it going to take you to understand?
Neenknits: People who care about you listen to you. That is the definition. If they do something, and you say, “stop, don’t”, if they care about you, they apologize and stop. That is part of the definition of caring about you. If they don’t, then they dont meet the definition of caring about you.
Either you have a weird definition of friends, or you are picking out weird nits to object to, the other favorite Reddit past time.
MrMissus: Holy shit.
| 19 | 11.315789 | |
1670688406 | 1670770618 | t3_zhw64d | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by causing my fellow medical resident to have a nervous breakdown.
[deleted]
CatEyes333: Wow, you guys are future doctors? As in, supposedly compassionate and wanting to help others? This is horrifying and is making me question the future of medicine.
Naughty-list-or-bust: Reading a crazy made up reddit post and believing the lie to the point it taints your entire view of the medical profession makes me question how much critical thinking is really being taught these days.
CatEyes333: Hey, here’s a thought, since you’re all about “critical thinking,” try reading what I actually said, which referred to the *future* of medicine. In other words, if this is the type of 20-somethings who will be *future* providers of medical care, it’s a scary thought. Not once did I imply that my view of the ENTIRE medical profession has been tainted. Don’t come at me when you don’t have basic comprehension skills. TF
Naughty-list-or-bust: >is making me question the future of medicine.
You used an N of 3, all male, all from the same geographic location, working at the same institution to draw your conclusion about the future of medicine. You don't really have a leg to stand on there.
BestingFitchRace: Aww, look at your big brain! Adorable. I don’t understand why you’re getting so worked up and defensive about a “made-up scenario.” Or why, of all the comments here, you decided I was the one to come after. Not the one, Karen. Maybe focus on your middle-aged swinging activities instead and let people express their opinions and thoughts like a grownup? Mmkay, thanks.
| 6 | 1 | |
1670688915 | 1670857355 | t3_zhwdjm | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking I made friends with streamers
[deleted]
RumpledStiltSkinn: Never give streamers cash. It's pathetic
blubafish: Never? Why? I mean first of all anyone is free to do how he plesses with his money. Second, I am personally watching one Twitch streamer (male, nothing sexual there) very often. Mostly in the backfround while working or doing household. I get more entertainment out of this than I get from my 20$ per month Netflix subscription by a long shot. Why should I not subscribe to this channel and give him something for his work?
RumpledStiltSkinn: Folks can choose to part with their money however they want. I'm just stating handing them money for playing games is silly. It's worse than street performers using their talents for money. At least that group of people actually has a skill other than clicking/typing reel gud.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1670689055 | 1670794145 | t3_zhwfgy | t5_2to41 | 50 | Mr-E-Droflah: Tifu by “fixing” my AirPods
Gen 1 & 2 AirPods are shit. The battery life dies and it’s pretty hard to replace them. So I figured I’d buy some batteries and give it a go watching YouTube instructions to replace them. I’m just going to stack the results here as problems as they intensify…
Problem 1. The ‘kit’ I ordered with the batteries came with a phone screen replacement kit and not anything useful to replace the batteries. Also a handful of guitar plectrums too like a kind of “we don’t have what you need so here is some shit”
Problem 2. I needed a heat gun, I don’t have one but I’ve used a hair dryer for bigger things before now in the garage. I had this multi tool that supposedly was a gas solder iron come heat gun and hot knife depending on attachment. Well 2 of 3 as instead of a heat gun I got a pocket blowtorch and almost set the shelf on fire.
Problem 3. The battery encasement is stupid awkward to work with. Plus with crazy adhesive you need to heat it up gently to melt the adhesive and remove the battery. This needs the heat gun but fortunately I had a plan of attaching a funnel to the hairdryer to concentrate the heat and make it easier to work with.
Problem 4. Hair dryers do not like to concentrate the heat as above mentioned. Resulting in too much heat uncontrolled within the funnel and blasting out. This meant I melted the battery encasement and it warped. Also the funnel warped as well and the hair dryer front melted in on itself. That’s fine tho I just removed the front so now it’s bare wires and fan. But what I use it for this should be ok. However since the second blasting it no longer turns on so I need to rework that next.
Problem 5. With opening the tip for removing the battery I realised the warped end would more than likely result in the AirPods no longer fitting in the case. I put the airpod in to test it still fits. Bad move, bad smell, bad pop sound. Case no longer works and my phone only finds the left airpod.
Problem 6. Realised the hairdryer flex was resting on the solder iron. As such the cord blew, the iron gas wouldn’t stop releasing, figured fuck it. Threw the lot away annoyed and now I need new AirPods, another hair dryer to use as a heating appliance, another solder iron and in case I need it a new funnel.
TL:DR
Tried to replace airpod batteries and blew them up, a hair dryer, my solder iron and a funnel. Merry Xmas everyone
Nytonial: Ah, classic apple fan: "this poorly designed and unmaintable product has been damaged... Best go buy another one!"
xo-katie: C'mon now, we all know they're buying Apple products for the name and sake of being "loyal", not the quality for the price.
DiscoveryOV: Lol give me a break.
xo-katie: Sorry, no breaks for you
| 5 | 10 | |
1672422381 | 1672423367 | t3_zz6mlw | t5_2to41 | 14 | comeback_kid_: TIFU by not being confident enough.
So yeah this happened about 9 years ago when I was around 16. This was when facebook was really popular and used to randomly send friend requests to people. I had randomly sent a request to a girl (let's call her Jenny). Jenny was really beautiful and from a different school but our schools were close enough (found about her school from her facebook info) so knew she was within reach. We started talking, few weeks were just the normal talks then one thing led to another and exchanged phone numbers. Now about me, I'm a shy guy who's really introverted and just spends time in his room. We used to talk on phone for hours every night and somehow I was really comfortable talking to her. We used to joke, laugh, tell how our day went and everything. We really clicked and ours talks would never end. She did give me hints that she liked me but I just ignored and couldn't even ask for a date due to my lack of confidence. One morning she called me and told me she saw me in her dreams and we were a couple. Now that was a straight hint for me to ask her out but me being fucking dick just said
"okay" and changed the conversation to other direction. From that point our friendship just went downhill. We did follow each other on insta and facebook even though we rarely talked.
I had never met this girl in person before but one day after few years when was just travelling with my friends, I saw a girl that looked exactly like her walking down the road. To double check, I turned my head and it was her and she recognised me instantly. I stopped my bike to greet her, we talked for a little bit and I went my way and she went hers. We still do texts sometimes about our daily
lives.
TL:DR met a girl online whom I clicked really well. Couldn’t ask her for a date even she gave me a straight hint.
SuzieQbert: Correction: you're still in an ongoing FU where you've been hung up on this girl for years, still text sometimes, and you won't just say you're interested.
If you're both single, it's past time for you to shoot your shot. Just tell her what you said here: you didn't have the confidence to ask her out way back when, but you always wanted to, and you'd love to take her out for a drink this week.
comeback_kid_: She’s in a happy committed relation now and we can’t even catch up as friends as I moved to a different country shortly after that accidental meet up.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1670693019 | 1670722578 | t3_zhy0hm | t5_2to41 | 35,670 | UTX_Shadow: TIFU by going on a date with a therapist.
This was actually last December but I’m always told this is a hilarious story so I thought I’d share.
Last September my ex wife and I filed for divorce. We were separated. One of my best friends says I should try dating. She’s never led me astray so I say fuck it, why not. First girl I match with on Hinge seems nice. We talk for a few days since I’m on a business trip and plan to go out when I get back. She’s a therapist. Works with neurodivergent kids. We chat a bit. Alls good.
We go on our first date after work on a Tuesday. I pick her up at her place. Go to my favorite pizza joint in her area. Starts a bit awkward as first dates do. She then tells me, “I [the girl] can’t wait to tell you I’m pregnant.” Okay. Weird. Maybe the nerves. Understand we had no booze at this point. I think she’s just nervous. Great.
A few minutes later she’s telling me about her parents who live near the Wisconsin/Minnesota boarder, and we are in the Chicagoland area. These parents show up… and sit down with us. YET, THEY LIVED IN THE GREAT WHITE NORTH. So I’m against the wall of the booth with her dad sitting next to me. She’s across from me. Her mom next to her. Shit. Okay. Guess I’m paying for their meal too. Double date. Great.
Mom and Dad tell me they’ve heard a lot about me yada yada (how much could they know?) they talk about what it’s like working for a vocational school. So I start freaking out as I’ve only said I’m a school admin, nothing more, not where I work. I say it’s great, but I’m looking to go back to the middle school or elementary next year.
Dad says he can’t wait to have a son in law like me. Mom says she can’t wait to have me marry into the family. Awkward. They were drinking. So I give them a pass.
Awkward evening continues. Yada yada get to know you shit. We start leaving and I picked up this chick, so I’ve gotta drop her off; Grandma raised a gentleman, you know? Figured I’d do that and dip. Nope. We get back, parents park next to me. Fuck. Invite me up. Mom said she baked a great pumpkin pie earlier today.
Well shit. I love me some pumpkin pie. Decide fuck it, might as well get something out of this night. Had some pie. Truthfully, some of the best pumpkin pie I’ve ever had. I try to leave and they weren’t really letting me by giving me more pie or starting a new conversation topic. Best friend (one who told me to start dating) calls. Asks what’s up. Took the call in the bathroom and she comes up with this plan: I’m going to go pick up my friend “Eddie” (because she thought I shouldn’t use a girls name) with his flat tire. Great. I got an out.
She says she needs to walk her dog (annoying shit. Yapping dog. Rubbing his ass on everything and dragging his ass across the floor. Very poorly trained). Fuck. Fine. Come with and walk me down. Mom comes to. I’m standing there trying to leave as chick takes her dog for a shit. Mom says it’s nice to meet me yada yada. And says “I’m so glad [daughter] found you. I didn’t think she’d be able to settle down since we’ve had her committed three times.” And walks away. Wtf. Bomb dropped.
I’m panicking now, sweating a bit. I turn to get in my car and chick is right there. Hugs me. Tries to kiss me. Yada yada. Tells me “I love you, and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Me: great… gotta go. You know… friend needs help.
I get in the car, this chick is in my rear mirror and she’s calling me. I pick up and she said “you didn’t say you love me!”
Best friend calls, “oops. Hang on important call” and picks up. Tells my buddy this. she’s laughing her ass off. I’m scared shitless at this point thinking headlights in my rear view mirror are her. So I start speeding for the highway.
Im speeding away. Get pulled over. Cop asks why. I tell him EVERYTHING. Takes a good 5-6 min to get him to understand. He noticed I have Wisconsin plates. All he says is “Bro…and gives me great advice: never put your dick in crazy.” Thanks brochacho. Cop feels sorry for me and escorts me to the highway. Great. Freedom.
Chick texts me. I try to ghost her. Now, I left out an important detail. I went on a school night, wearing spirit wear with my school logo; once you know the name it’s hard not to find as I’m the only type of school like this in my county. I go to my boss the next day and tell him. Says I’m a fucking idiot for wearing my work shirt. Laughs his ass off about the whole situation. Asks if I blocked her. Shit. That’s a good idea. So I do it. Tells me I’m a fucking idiot again for not thinking this through.
She figured out where I worked. And starts calling my desk. Asking when we are going out. Leaves a message says she wants to be engaged by the time she’s 30 (which was weeks away, literally the next month, since we went over birthdays). At this point I’m freaking out. I have an SRO (school resource officer) in my building. I tell him what happened. Gave her name. He told me he’d take care of it if she came by. But also told me to move my car to the back (gated and can’t see, dudes a saint and it was a great idea).
Chick shows up asking to see me. Security tells her I don’t work here. She gets snotty with the SRO. Gets escorted out. Calls my desk phone pleading with me to give her a chance. Finds my sister. My best friend all on Facebook. Tells them we are soulmates. I tell them to block her ass.
Chick was crazy. Got her to calm the ef out when I told her I’m going to report her for harassment to her licensing board (all bullshit, no idea if that would do anything).
And that kids, is the story of how I met your mother.
Kidding. But damn was I scared of dating for a bit.
TLDR: went on a date with a therapist. Almost ended up married again.
mcnathan80: Honestly OP, I'm a therapist and I'm encouraging you to find out your states licensing board and file a complaint for harassment against her. She eventually will use her position against a vulnerable patient. Not calling her a bad therapist, but she does sound like an ethical ticking time bomb
UTX_Shadow: Wait you can do that??
mcnathan80: Yeah just Google [my state] professional license complaints
And yes, depending on their profession's ethics committee; personal behavior can lead to professional discipline
Skreamie: Him: "I'd like to make some matters known regarding your employee, ________ "
Them: "...Who?"
tiparium: For real though, does op have any evidence this woman is actually a therapist?
Krilesh: no way a committed person can be a therapist. maybe her own practice. and she’s not 30 yet? are many therapists young? maybe i’m thinking of a psychiatrist
NotaVogon: The board wouldn't likely know about her being committed unless it was over the care of a patient. To my knowledge, no one is monitoring things like that. And background checks typically don't include commitments unless it was involuntary/police involvement due to HIPAA.
sat_ops: >The board wouldn't likely know about her being committed unless it was over the care of a patient.
Which is funny, because attorneys have their mental health records reviewed before licensure.
NotaVogon: In the US? I know that "good moral character and fitness" is a requirement for social work, all counseling licensing and attorney licensing where I live. I also know that it's an imperfect process. I worked in government and know many, many attorneys who would not meet my definition of having good moral character and fitness but were accepted no problem by the Bar Association.
I know for my licensure, I didn't have to sign a release to my medical records. Just get fingerprinted.
sat_ops: I had to sign a release. 42% of lawyers have a substance abuse or mental health issue, so they make a big deal out of it.
NotaVogon: I'd bet the number is higher than that based on my own experiences. Sadly, I worked with so many judges who shouldn't have been in positions of power. Was messed up.
sat_ops: Remember, good lawyers don't become judges. I'm just now (like, last month) experienced enough to become a judge in my state...and I make more than a judge, working from home in my pajamas and I don't have to rent for reelection. You either run for judge because you crave power or you're such a terrible attorney that it's an upgrade.
The civil magistrate in my county retired last year. The chief judge called me to see if I would be interested, as I'm pretty well known as a civil attorney and arbitrator in the area. I asked him what the pay was, and it was a $50,000 cut, and I'd have to wear a suit and go in every day. I would have to make state Supreme Court money to even remotely consider sitting on the bench.
NotaVogon: Good point. And typically those justices start out at lower levels of Court like City/District and use that experience to run for next level. Don't do it. It's not even worth the money except maybe at state level where you do well and don't really have to do much. Law clerks do the research and write all the briefs.
| 14 | 2,547.857143 | |
1670699305 | 1670719719 | t3_zi0mb3 | t5_2to41 | 82 | Brave-Nobody-1944: TIFU by expecting my parents to pay for my college tuition
I know how the title sounds, but let me start from the beginning.
For as long as I can remember, my mom and dad received social security for me. I am a high functioning autistic eighteen male. I don't know how long they've been receiving it but they've been receiving it for a long time.
Well, my parents sat me down when I was 10 and began telling me about how they were going to have me focus on schooling so I could get into a nice school and how my grandparents, and my parents had set aside at least 12,000$ so far so I could pay tuition without taking out debts. Most of the money was saved with my social security income.
when I was fourteen my dad torn his ACL and stopped working. My mom never had a job so for the past 4 years, they've been living off me and my brothers social security income. I wasn't upset about it and I knew that my family needed the money.
Well here comes time for college, I got accepted in a state university, not that prestigious, but college nonetheless, for three generations my family hasn't graduated high school, so Im a first generation college student. My social security income stopped when I turned 18 so I cant really use that for tuition.
I filled out the FAFSA and considering that my families expected contribution was 0, I got the max aid of around 7,000$, My tuition is 20,000$, I was really excited however, Because the college fund was still there and up until I was 15-16 my parents told me that my fund was set aside.
I go to my parents and ask them about it, and after long arguments, the account was empty, they spent the entire college fund, and it had grown beyond 12,000$
My families is calling me a selfish entitled brat for expecting my family to pay for my college.
Im now so terrified and scared, I dont wanna go 13,000$ in debt right away my first college year, Hopefully I can get workstudy. Currently, Im applying for the Wallin scholarship so hopefully I get in. I am really glad I asked about it before too long however.
TLDR; Parents and grandparents made college fund for me, dad lost job and mom never worked, so they milked the fund dry and never told me.
Brave-Nobody-1944: Oh I also got a 500$ scholorship for applying to my college early action :D so I am very happy about that.
MayhemAbounds: Also look and see but I think there are a number of organizations that offer scholarships and grants that are disability focused - so for instance look up autism and scholarships and also your school. I know I’ve also seen some that are specific to people who are the first in their family to go to college. These are usually smaller, more obscure ones. I would get on all of this soon though. There are some that run all year, but a lot can close in the next few months.
Orphylia: [Some of these are only in specific states](https://www.scholarships.com/financial-aid/college-scholarships/scholarship-directory/physical-disabilities/autism), but maybe the list can still be of help.
| 4 | 20.5 | |
1672425251 | 1672802301 | t3_zz7tnx | t5_2to41 | 38 | lostcacti: TIFU by taking my dream job
Technically, this happened several years ago. I took the job I had spent ten years preparing for and it has had numerous negative ripple effects.
I have a PhD in an industry applicable but pretty specific subject area. Competition for faculty positions in my field is fierce and generally requires postdocs for five or more years and moving around a lot. My spouse wasn't interested in that instability and told me that she would only be willing to move if I found a tenure track position, but preferably after she had been in her job for five years. So I got a well paying industry job, but it did have some opportunities to interface with academia at times and even teach occasionally. It was a prestigious organization ( realize that now because I tell people I worked there and they go on about what they think about the work the place does) and looking back, I realize that working there was even more of a once in a lifetime opportunity than becoming a professor.
However after taking the position, I quickly began to feel stressed out from the high work demands and the feeling that I wasn't doing what I was meant to do. Shortly after I took the job, I was contacted by a colleague about a faculty job opportunity at their university which precisely aligned with the work I did for my dissertation. I talked to my wife, who encouraged me to apply so as to not have regrets about not trying. So I applied even though it hadn't been five years in her career and the location wasn't as good for her industry or really any job not at the university. I honestly didn't think I had a chance and figured I was just helping the search committee get a larger pool so as to impress the admin at their institution and help with future requests for positions.
Well, I got offered the job, precisely at the moment when I was most strained at work. I was putting in 60 hrs with commute and was even working at home after that. My wife was doing more and more of the housework and our relationship was strained by how depressed I was getting and how little time we had together ( basically only weekends). Even when we were out having fun on weekends, I was thinking about work. I would regularly wake up in the middle of the night in panic about work or not doing what I felt like I was meant to do.
I talked to my wife and she gave me permission to accept it. I felt a mix of feelings. Part of me really thought this was what I was meant to do and that the timing, just when I was making my LinkedIn account open to recruiters and was starting to look for other jobs, was a sign that this was what I should do. But I also really worried about the impact on my wife, who would be leaving a cushy, well paying job as well as moving away from family and friends ( I had few friends apart from my wife as my friends moved away after finishing graduate school). I felt like I both had to accept and also not accept it, so I went with what I wanted to do. I now see how incredibly selfish that was.
It's been several years and since then so much has gotten worse for my wife. A stress related chronic illness has returned, she's working over 40 hrs a week btw a part time job and freelancing and despite this making 1/3 of her old income. There is little room for advancement and she has lost the will to pursue a career path that she was passionate about. Because our net income dropped in half, we're much more worried about money and my retirement savings rate is way less. A parent in law has been experiencing a paranoia related mental health crisis for over a year and is now in danger of becoming homeless and we're a thousand miles away unable to be there to take them to the appointments they need to attend in order to get services. If we back there, none of that might have happened, since we could have intevened earlier. We used to exercise every day but are always working or catching up on housework and no longer have the time so our health is way worse.
I do feel more at peace about my job and think I'm making the world better by educating students in skills that will get them good jobs but it's absolutely not worth it because someone else could be doing that instead of me. The one positive is that my wife and I have more time together, especially because my commute is a ten minute walk and in some ways our marriage is strengthened by that. But that could have happened before if I had just gotten a handle on my own anxiety and depression and perhaps found some sort of work from home job.
I see now that my feeling that I had to be a professor was just the result of what is essentially brainwashing that one gets in graduate school, making one feel that anything short of a tenure track position is a suboptimal career path. If I could get in a time machine, I would go back and never apply for this job. I think about this almost everyday and when I wake up at night, which still occasionally happens.
TL;DR I became a professor and my wife got sick from stress, a family member had a mental health crisis, and we're always worried about money.
raytherip: You only get one life, and if possible you should be happy in it. Do what you and your wife want to do. Work stress is a killer... if you'd stayed it would probably be you having a breakdown or whatever. Good luck I hope things work out for you both.
MikeFromTheMidwest: I wish everyone understood this. I wish a younger me understood this. I did the start up grind and then did my own company for years before it ultimately failed. I was working massive hours and had incredible stress towards the end. Far too late, I learned that it was killing me. I now have a low stress job that pays well but I have extremely high blood pressure and a host of related co-morbidities - and I'm only in my mid-40s. I've become quite obsessed with ensuring a good future for my family first and ideally retiring early and traveling because I just cant see myself making it into my 60s at this rate.
lostcacti: Thank you for sharing this. I'm sorry you're experiencing health challenges. This was a fear I had, especially as my boss would tell me his goal was for me to replace him on day and I saw how much he worked ( no lunch breaks, there for more than ten hours...). I also saw how many senior people were divorced and that struck me as a warning sign. I hope you and your family get a happy and relaxing life.
MikeFromTheMidwest: No worries, I take my pills and do what the doctor says and it's all good. I just posted this to reinforce the fact that working yourself to the bone has downsides that might not be as obvious at first glance.
| 5 | 7.6 | |
1672427778 | 1672440709 | t3_zz8u2f | t5_2to41 | -4 | Ltislande: TIFU by reconnecting with my EX girlfriend
Today I fucked up in a way that I never could have imagined.
It all started when I received a call from my ex-girlfriend, who I hadn't spoken to in months. She was crying and begged me to come over because she was feeling overwhelmed and needed someone to talk to.
At first, I was hesitant to go see her. I mean, we had broken up for a reason and I didn't want to risk getting hurt again. But then I started thinking about all the good times we had shared and how much I had missed her. I convinced myself that I could just go talk to her as a friend and offer her some comfort.
So, I drove over to her house and we talked for hours about everything that had gone wrong in our relationship and how much we missed each other. It was like no time had passed at all and we were able to reconnect in a way that we hadn't been able to before.
As the night went on, we started to get closer and before I knew it, we were kissing and making up. It felt so good to be in each other's arms again and I forgot about all the pain and hurt that had driven us apart.
But as the sun started to rise, I realized that I had made a huge mistake. I was in a committed relationship with someone else and I had just cheated on them. The guilt and shame I felt was overwhelming and I knew that I had to tell my partner what had happened.
I drove home with a heavy heart, knowing that I had just ruined the most important relationship in my life. When I got home, I sat my partner down and told them everything. I begged for their forgiveness and promised that I would do anything to make it right.
In the end, my partner was devastated and heartbroken. They couldn't believe that I had betrayed them like that and they didn't know if they could ever trust me again. I understand their pain and I would do anything to take back what I did.
I know that I have a long road ahead of me to earn back their trust and repair the damage I've caused. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes, even if it means going to therapy and working on myself for a long time. I just hope that my partner can find it in their heart to forgive me and give me a chance to make things right.
TL;DR: Reconnected with my ex and cheated on my current gf
WelcomeSubstantial25: You should have learned a lesson and kept your mouth shut, providing there was no other reason she would have found out. You screwed up, but you learned a valuable lesson. Confessing made your behavior her problem; now she has to deal with this. I know it sounds sketchy, but if you truly learned your lesson, you should have not hurt her with the truth, kept your mouth shut, and let it fade.
BLarson31: Ah how very moral, cheat and don't tell, all good then.
WelcomeSubstantial25: Not saying he was moral in any way. But if realizing his mistake made him realize his relationship was precious, then he could have kept his mouth shut, invested in the relationship, and moved forward. Will he cheat again, I don’t f’ing know. If he does, he’s shite and deserves the misery. But after this one indiscretion if he doesn’t cheat anymore, she’s no worse for not knowing, he cherishes his relationship, and they carry on. But thinking because you admit guilt that she’s going to appreciate his honesty, you’re seriously overestimating people.
If my girlfriend, had a one time screw with a former boyfriend, then realized it was wrong and won’t do it ever again and decides not to tell me, then the problem is solved without me being hurt and suspicious from then on.
Of course, if he can’t keep it in his pants after that, he’s shite, and she should move on.
BLarson31: I'm sure she'd love to find out later and potentially from someone else, all after more time and emotional investment.
She deserves to know and it's cruel to not tell her so that she can make a decision about continuing the relationship with all the available information.
WelcomeSubstantial25: As if anyone in this chat doesn’t have some secret that would screw up their life if people found out. It could be theft, physical or emotional abuse, anything against the norm. But we have no problem chastising actions of others without considering our own.
So, it is to be assumed that if you were in a great relationship and your “other” made a mistake of having sex with an ex one time, but then realized it was a terrible mistake and the life alternating affect it would have if you found out, you would rather have your perfect relationship end by being told the truth about a single indiscretion.
The world is filled with mistakes we all make. This is no habitual cheater. Taking them at their word they didn’t do it before and won’t do it again. Telling on yourself out of guilt, ruining a great relationship when there’s no way of your partner knowing about one indiscretion, means you have a child’s view of what’s right and what’s wrong.
Grow up.
BLarson31: I'm honest with those I care about, that's what's right. What's wrong is deceiving those you care for. I think it's you that needs to grow up, my condolences to your loved ones if you see no fault in lying to them.
WelcomeSubstantial25: Like you don’t have any secrets that you aren’t telling anyone about. You live a life of complete transparency. Seriously? I don’t think so.
BLarson31: I don't much care if you believe me. Though I'd still recommend taking that concept to heart, not that difficult to be honest and transparent.
WelcomeSubstantial25: When your one time mistake destroys your great relationship? Yeah.
And you never lie to anyone do you. You have no secrets you don’t want to reveal. 😇
BLarson31: Can't be that great if your willing to even think about cheating. I see no good from lying or secrets, only harm.
| 11 | -0.363636 | |
1672426122 | 1672431908 | t3_zz85tu | t5_2to41 | 20 | Mando_The_Moronic: TIFU by backing into my sister’s car
This happened this morning. My sister is visiting for the holidays and has been parking behind my truck (something I haven’t really needed to deal with all year round). I needed to get somewhere this morning and got into my truck. Since it was the morning and I’m very much not a morning person, I was very tired and I was working on autopilot the whole time. Anyways, I was a tired idiot and completely forgot that my sister’s car was parked right behind me and I wound up backing into her car, which definitely woke me up.
Thankfully, it is just a very, very small scratch on the car’s front bumper, but she was rightfully pissed off and I have already apologized dozens of times and continue to feel incredibly bad about it. Moral of the story: don’t get behind the wheel tired and always check your surroundings.
TL;DR: I was a tired idiot this morning and backed into my sister’s car. Don’t be a tired idiot like I was and pay attention to your surroundings.
kappsylen: Shit happens. Just be glad a was a small dent in car and not something worse.
Mando_The_Moronic: Not even a dent, just a small scratch. Still feeling bad about it. I think my sister is fed up with the apologies.
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1672429194 | 1672450636 | t3_zz9f2e | t5_2to41 | 3 | xXReggieXx: TIFU by accidentally setting off a bomb
[removed]
survival-nut: 5 seconds on google confirmed this did not happen.
Jack_35: It’s real I can confirm- I was Jack in the story
survival-nut: Please post links to the news articles of the nuclear explosion. Also I could not find a head of state (king/queen/president/prime minister etc.) with a first name of Rachel. Please provide a last name and country. Thanks in advance.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1670702759 | 1670724691 | t3_zi21ok | t5_2to41 | 3 | littleduckmurder: TIFU by taking too much edibles
From what the sample packages say I had 30mg delta 9 + 5mg THC-O + 30mg HHC all together.
How could I do that? now this is my first time trying edibles, as I was driving home around 10pm I opened a packet of some pop rocks and ate it within 5mins. Now I've never been "high" in my life so my tiny brain thinks it's like the movies and it kicks in within seconds. I kept saying that I wouldn't have any reaction. At around 11pm I ate the chocolate one, then I thought nothings happening and "thought" I ate it wrong so I opened another and just let it disintegrate in my mouth. At 12:30am Finally starting to feel sleepy my body woke me up. I could feel everything. My mind was so in-toned with my body so much so I felt each individual fibers of my cover touching me. I thought "I wonder what a cumming would feel like". So I grab a toy and went to town, fun stuff. Then when I was done, my brain told me I need to wake up every hour of the hour until I wake up at 6am for work so I did.
My body still vibrates, I'm a little dizzy and nauseous.
TL;DR: kept eating edibles cause I didn't think it was doing anything and then it hit me.
LockedOutOfElfland: I did that once and thought I was going to die. As in I was having heart palpitations and when I tried down to take a nap it felt like the grim reaper was standing over me watching as my soul drifted out of my body.
Never. Again.
littleduckmurder: I'm still having some palpitations if I notice it but very little
| 3 | 1 | |
1670701537 | 1671016851 | t3_zi1itg | t5_2to41 | 83 | shrike26: TIFU by not reading the dosage on my prescription correctly.
TIFU by being sick with sinus congestion and a sore throat for about 6 days now. Went to an urgent care as my regular doc couldn't see me until Monday.
So they do the standard covid, flu, strep tests. All come out negative, yay.
They tell me it is most likely an upper respiratory virus/infection. Gave me a steroid shot and gave me a prescription.
I drove to a new pharmacy that I have only used once before, and dropped off the Rx. I expected them to call me once it was ready to pick up, but they did not.
I called the next day and they said it was ready and I picked it up on my lunch break (I went to work and wore a mask and avoided people in case I was contagious). I read on the instructions that i should take a teaspoon ever 4-6 hours for cough and congestion. Im 30 and can't tell you the last time I had to have a liquid medicine. I usually get pills.
So, I don't take any at work and wait until I am home, I read it again. 1 teaspoon every 4 -6 hours. Cool. They even have little markings on the side of the bottle.
I swig what I assume is a teaspoon and then try to do some housework. Well, I start getting really sleepy. I decide that my day was long and I need a nap. So I fell asleep on my couch. I woke up later and ate some cereal for dinner because I'm an adult and can do what I want.
I chill for the rest of the night and then its time for bed. I take one more dose of my new medication before bed, since it had been at least 4 hours since the last one.
My alarm goes off this morning and I am really groggy. I get up and start getting ready. I take my regular daily meds and then take another dose of my new medication. I can't shake this groggy feeling like I want to fall back asleep. I pick up my cousin and I drive us to work. I get a cup of coffee to try and perk me up, which doesn't work. I had an adderall (one of my daily meds) and that didn't perk me up. This new medication has a size effect of drowsiness, so ok, I am just feeling that, and its strong apparently. So I have drank a cup of coffee, 2 cokes, and had an adderall. None of it is touching my drowsiness.
I am trying to focus on work. I try taking inventory, but I get about a 3rd of the way through and need to sit down because I am getting dizzy.
I come back inside and look at my medication bottle again. 1 tsp every 4-6 hrs. Then I look at the lines on the side of the bottle. 6 is at the top... and at the bottom is my mistake. "oz".
I had been taking about one fluid ounce of the medication with every does.
1 oz = 6 tsps
6 times what I was supposed to be taking. Then I start freaking out a bit. I look it up. Polytussin is the medication name. It is an opioid apparently.
So here I am high at work on an opioid that I have taken 6 times the dosage 3 or 4 times since yesterday. Luckily, it is my family's business and we are super slow today.
TL:DR - I misread the measurement lines on my opioid cough meds and ended up drinking 6 times the amount and getting high.
bmiller57: Your lucky you didn’t get all drowsy and get into a crash. Glad your okay.
shrike26: Agreed. I did get drowsy. But I was forcing myself to stay awake.
bmiller57: Been there too many times.
| 4 | 20.75 |
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