start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1670827968 | 1670848299 | t3_zjqhai | t5_2to41 | 119 | DreamsOfCentipedes: TIFU by thinking I was dreaming
Bit of necessary exposition; I have really lucid dreams and sleepwalk a lot.
Last night I was having this wild dream where there was this big ass centipede on my wall, we're talking like bigger than my hand.
For whatever reason, in my dream I was stroking the centipedes back and talking to it like it was a dog, saying "Who's a good boy" and all that. I started putting my face near the wall and snuggling against it.
The dream went on like this for a while, but eventually something dawned on me. Suddenly I felt more... *aware.*
Suddenly it hit me. I was wide awake, standing right in the middle of my living room. Staring at this huge centipede on my wall.
I have a huge fear of insects but especially centipedes, I entered panic mode and grabbed the nearest thing I could find which was a book on my shelf and started trying to kill the little fucker, I tried to smash it but all that came off was a few legs, the rest of him was gone. Now he's out there somewhere, and I'm scared to sleep tonight.
Now I want to die.
tl;dr I got up close and personal with a giant centipede while thinking I was dreaming.
Gekko83: I mean you petted a real centipede despite you fear them, even if you thought it was all a dream. And it did nothing to you, proving you have no reason to be afraid from them. Maybe you can use this fact to overcome your fear.
Atari-Dude: *Until it crawls into your ear ofc*... JK, kinda. That's my semi-irrational semi-rational fear; I've always had ear problems... tubes as a young kid, had to have a mass removed from behind my eardrum in 2019 at 16yo, now I've got really bad tinnitus etc. etc. So the idea that tiny little bugs 'n' shit could crawl into my ear is just the cherry on top of my luck when it comes to my ears... Truly just a terrifying thought for me lmao
| 3 | 39.666667 | |
1670830691 | 1670834522 | t3_zjrhct | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU browsing the sex offender registry and finding someone in my friend group
[deleted]
sun_kisser: Do not take the advice of telling others. You don't know all the details of the first conviction. This person is most likely looking to move on with their life. An appropriate response is to discreetly say to them you learned about their history and wish them well in overcoming their past.
NungaFakeer: If your luck is shit and you're out to be made an example, streaking within 100 yards of an elementary or middle school qualifies as sex offense.
Govain: As does public urination.
Grow_Beyond: No one's ever been put on the registry for it.
| 5 | 10.6 | |
1670832296 | 1670833298 | t3_zjs2b1 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by kissing another man at a staff party and destroying my relationship and my boyfriends trust in me
[deleted]
[deleted]: Good lord you're dramatic...
kiki_in_retrograde_: I understand, but I genuinely feel awful. I'm trying to process this and I'm not looking for any shite. Just disgusted by myself.
[deleted]: You probably should feel awful tbh, you probably don't need to be telling reddit how awful you feel though.
Maybe save that for your boyfriend.
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1670832209 | 1670835292 | t3_zjs193 | t5_2to41 | 23 | ElectronicGur6067: Tifu by masturbating to the opposite gender (biologically) with Pokemon playing in backround
[removed]
[deleted]: > (I'm not gay)
...
> My style in a woman is tiny tits and short hair
...
> (I am straight)
Trying really hard to sell your heterosexuality my dude.
Devittraisedto2: It's a shit post since OP made a post prior about his boyfriend
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zjs2b1/tifu_by_kissing_another_man_at_a_staff_party_and/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
[deleted]: That was posted by an entirely different person my guy, OP just happened to respond to it.
Devittraisedto2: That _could_ be the case
But a new account responding to a post in a subreddit they _just joined_? I have my suspicions
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1670836301 | 1670874999 | t3_zjtguj | t5_2to41 | 333 | Only-Huckleberry6116: TIFU by eating mayonnaise
I went to a party with a few friends for the first time since I broke up with my ex.
When we arrived at the party we had a few drinks
and soon they started looking for a girl they thought I should try to sleep with. I haven't had sex for 2 yrs since my ex cheated on me.
They decide I should try my luck with the prettiest girl at the party and if I failed I would then need to eat a whole jar of mayonnaise in one sitting.
I agreed, and what do you know, I failed to get the girl. I now had to face the mayonnaise. I ate the whole jar and, very quickly, started to feel sick. I soon decided to head back home as I felt as if I would barf or sh*t any second and wouldn't be able to hold it back.
It has been 4 hours since I got back home. I haven't been able to get off the toilet the entire time as I haven't stopped sh*ting and I have thrown up 4 times in the bathroom sink.
I seriously regret eating that mayonnaise.
TL;DR Don't eat a whole jar of mayonnaise bc you lost a bet with friends
GSH94: Be sure to start drinking water, maybe a sports drink or some sugar water if you have to. Gotta stay hydrated homie.
Only-Huckleberry6116: Thanks for the advice bro
Dirk_The_Cowardly: Just eat 50 dry sandwiches and it should even out the ratio.
[deleted]: Hahaha
| 5 | 66.6 | |
1670836909 | 1670850176 | t3_zjtoib | t5_2to41 | 10 | Comfortable_Drama344: TIFU by having firefighters and their firetruck come to my house because I accidentally left the gas burner open.
So this technically happened when i was still a college student in 2017 and not today.
Every Tuesday for that semester is my free day where I dont have any classes at the uni. Now everyone on our house was busy, mom and dad go to their work and my two siblings go to work and school. I was left alone every tuesday from about 9 am to 5 pm. And of course I have the responsibility to cook and prepare things for myself. So by lunch I had this pack of chicken drumstick that I breaded and deep fried. I set up my meal and watched dota on my pc while eating.
I was enjoying my meal for about 10 minutes when suddenly our neighbor shouts at my gate telling me that our dirty kitchen is on fire. I forgot to turn off the gas stove and saw a fire about 2 ft high but nothing really serious. I proceeded to turn off the stove and poured water. The frying pan was black burnt and nothing else was damaged. Thinking everything was okay i went back to watching dota.
Moments later mom then goes marching into the gate and she was very shocked. She said she had called me about 5 times amd i did not answer(due to Dota). She had 2 firefighters and a firetruck with her. She said our neighbor called in that our 'house was on fire' (neighbor exaggerated a bit) and it panicked her, she proceeded to call the fire protection unit in our town and told them to hurry(my mom's office is about 10 steps away from the fire protection unit)
So when they arrived they saw no fire and there was a commotion around our house thinking that something bad has happened due to the firetruck. My mom proceeded to be very embarrassed and at the same time laughing about it. She said she doesnt know if she wants to feel good or bad that our house was not on fire because of the commotion that we caused. She was also sorta mad at the neighbor for exaggerating.
TLDR; Cooked a meal forgot to turn off the gas stove, i made an accidental little fire that was easily put out by me, neighbors called my mom telling house was on fire, mom called the firemen on our house over nothing.
Devittraisedto2: >I forgot to turn off the gas stove and saw a fire about 2 ft high but nothing really serious. I proceeded to turn off the stove and poured water.
Protip, never do this in an oil fire, you're going to make it so much worse.
Either use a fire extinguisher, or cover the flame so the oxygen content of the flame goes away.
Comfortable_Drama344: ye i got lucky i guess
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1670837823 | 1670841684 | t3_zju0qx | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally posting a dick pic on my IG story
[removed]
Timofey_: Wait you aren't allowed to post dick pics on instagram?
Ridiculous. I'm switching back to facebook
FireWoIf: Two sides of the same coin. Both owned by Zuckerberg lol
jamesfluker: I think that was the joke.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1670844486 | 1670846425 | t3_zjwc07 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Plants_and_such: TIFU by making a sex joke in-front of my boyfriends parents
I F15 was at a party last night with my M15 boyfriend and his older sister and parents. The party had been going relatively good, eating, dancing, music, but me my boyfriend and his sister got a little bored so we started play fighting and stealing each others stuff it was all fun and games like stealing a phone, airpod, bracelet etc until my boyfriend says to me that im to short to reach something (which i was indeed) so as a horrible comeback I replied suck my dick and he replies back with “you dont have one” at this point adrenaline was pumping through my veins from the play fighting and I was hyperactive so i said “well youve sucked cl!t” he immediately stops and stares at me with a death glare and he didn’t say anything so I thought it was over. Well I realized he was acting off a couple minutes later so i asked him what was wrong and he said hed tell me later. He seemed fine the rest of the night but when i texted him what was wrong he asked me “why the fuck would you say that infront of my parents and my sisters”? (Whose 20) and fore reference his parents speak the bare minimum of English so it’s not line they could’ve heard me and his sister wasn’t even paying attention to us so it didn’t matter. I replied saying i had to go to bed and that im sorry and blah blah and all he replied with was goodnight which he never usually does no matter the situation he always says goodnight to me in spanish. Its now the next morning and while i at least think the anger as worn off on him it’s still nagging at me. I tried talking to his sitter about it and she said “he’ll be fine, he’ll get over it eventually”. I also know this’ll be over by the end of today but im still upseT about it
TL;DR i made a sex joke to my boyfriend and he got worried that his parents could've heard it so he got mad at me and hasn't spoke to me since last night
Update: i feel like i should add that parents spoke no English and sister spoke no english either, besides the common hello and thank you and that there was no other english in their vocabulary. When i made the clit joke i wasn’t referring to him doing that to me but just as since hes a heterosexual male hes probably done it. The party we were at was also very loud so i was surprised he had even heard me in the first place
slimjoel14: Define joke
Plants_and_such: I wouldnt say joke per say? After i had said suck my dick he responded with “ you dont have one even if you did I wouldn’t suck it” so I replied back with “ok mr.acting-like-you-havent-sucked-my-clit-before” and he got mad
| 3 | 1 | |
1670849507 | 1670850037 | t3_zjy7lz | t5_2to41 | 18 | CrappyTechnician: TIFU by accidently destroying a relationship of my friend
TIFU by being to stupid to see that my friends girlfriend has a crush on me.Im (25M) friends with Will (24M) for almost a year now. I never met his gf Kate (21F) in person, since she has strong social phobia and almost never feels good enough to leave their place, but we do talk or chat with each other sometimes. Mostly about games or anime. We all are quite a gamers so we spend a lot of time together on Discord just playing or chatting. That changed yesterday. Kate felt good and wanted to go outside. We decided to go on a double date. Kate and Will, me and my gf.We ended up at my place. Spend good time together and found out, that me and Kate have a lot in common and we really understand each other. They left and I literally spend the next day and night chatting with Kate. Unlucky for all of us, I was too stupid to see whats going on. Yes, she was crushing on me HARD. Yes, I was too stupid to see them Im feeding this crush by giving her attention and being supportive. Kate told me a lot about her relationship with Will. Its far from a happy relationship. Quite toxic to be honest and I was her highlight almost every day.She confessed all this in mater of hour. And she wanted to start a new relationship with me. She even went as far as sending nudes. As much as I enjoyed talking to her, there was no way I could let this go further. Mainly because I have a gf and Will is a good friend of mine. I scrambled a massage explaining that I do like her a lot, but this is not gonna happen. I decided to do this over a text because I didnt want to risk see her without Will. That just screams for trouble.Now, comes my biggest fuckup. I should not have send the text without talking about this situation with Will first. The moment she read my "Goodbye, not gonna see or talk to each other again" text she started crying. In front of Will. Guess what happened. She basically told him that we are in love with each other.Will now hates me, because they broke up. She is not willing to accept that I will leave my girlfriend for her. Kate is now sending screenshots of our chat to my gf - things that can be taken out of context to convince my gf that Im gonna leave her for Kate. I even had to share my password to my gf so she can read the whole conversation to show that Im not leaving with Kate.
EDIT: I feel like I shoud clarify that my girlfriend is not angry with me. She went through my conversation with Kate and saw, that I was either normally friendly or defensive about Kate´s bullshit.
TL;DR --- My friends girlfriend fell in love with me and wants to end up hers and mine relationship so we could be together.
ChiefBroady: Sounds like you did your friend a solid. He dodged a bullet there. His former GF needs some mental help I think.
CrappyTechnician: Kate has social phobia, OCD, CAN (Child abuse and neglect syndrom) and hard anxiety attacks. She needs all the mental help.
| 3 | 6 | |
1670853737 | 1670863298 | t3_zjzxlc | t5_2to41 | 37 | Webofshadows1: TIFU by criticizing a disabled man
Part of my job duties is to order specific equipment to different warehouses. Every time I order equipment, it is the Warehouse Manager’s job to take stock of the inventory and put it away properly. I cover multiple regions in Florida, and each regions’ Manager is awesome, except Miami. Things are consistently ending up missing there. With the constant misplacement of stuff, the inventory numbers always look out of whack there.
I’ve tried going there to talk directly with the guy, but we haven’t been able to meet up for several months. He is somehow on vacation or sick leave whenever I go there. As fate would have, today is the day I finally meet him.
As I am walking through the warehouse, this 6’7 Thor-looking dude begins looking behind me yelling at someone about the purchase of gloves. I am confused. No one is behind me. I ask him if he’s talking to me. He walks up closer to me and stares right at me and begins saying, “We…are out of…a ton of…shit..and you always ignore my requests”. I realize he stutters badly and pauses between words. I tell him maybe if he looked better, he could find it and wouldn’t mess up our inventory. As his face becomes solemn, his right eye begins shaking. I whisper to myself what the actual fuck. His left eyeball slowly moves to the center of his face while his right eyeball boggles up and down like a game of pong. My body recoils visibly in shock like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. He then starts smacking himself and loudly groaning. At this point, my body has been so tense, from watching this wtf moment, that I let out a shriek that would rival most teen girls in a horror movie.
He apologizes and says he has an eye condition that makes seeing difficult. I feel like an ass and help him find our stuff. I realize he has a pile of boxes in a corner for unprocessed items. The labeling on the packages were too small, so he was unable to read it and accurately stock our inventory. Other offices had complained about the labeling before, but I was told not to change anything. Now I had a viable reason.
A worse realization hits me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been complaining to our corporate office about this guy. Imagine my horror knowing I’ve been criticizing a disabled guy, with a speech impediment and eye condition, for being blind and possibly stupid, to OUR CORPORATE OFFICE.
TLDR: I’ve been criticizing a disabled man for messing up inventory. I realize it’s my fault for not advocating more to make the package labeling bigger for every warehouse.
qndel: You didn't fuck up. Whoever hired him did. Dude wasn't doing his job and I don't care he's disabled, maybe he shouldn't have a job that others depend on huh?
cjeam: Or maybe, bigger labels.
qndel: not OP's problem tbh
| 4 | 9.25 | |
1670857975 | 1670908707 | t3_zk1pnv | t5_2to41 | 425 | penatbater: TIFU by not knowing there are two definitions for 'personality'
Obligatory this happened more than a decade ago, back when I was still in highschool. Also, while English isn't my first language, we widely use it here so the entire affair happened in English.
I just transferred to this new school, so I hardly know anybody yet. Somehow, I (M) (along with another classmate (F)) was chosen to be the representative to the school's fundraising pageant. I should note I was still super shy with people there so I have no clue how or why I was chosen. The pageant was just your typical pageant, all classes have male and female representatives, there's a talent portion and Q&A, and all of us have to sell tickets or raffle stubs, and the one who sold the most won.
So it's Q&A time. The question asked of me was (I may be paraphrasing but this is how I remembered it):
"Which personality do you admire the most and why?"
I had to pause for a second to think like ??? I don't understand... but I had to answer. In a very meek voice I replied,
"kindness?"
The host was a bit confused so he tried to rephrase the question as:
"Ahh no. I meant like, which person do you admire the most, and why?"
So internally, I thought I was given a different question. I didn't connect the first question with this one, and my mind zeroed in on 'person'. And so I answered:
"My mom. Coz she's a very strong person"
The host (I guess) accepted the question, thanked me, and the audience clapped or something.
Not TWO SECONDS after getting off the stage did I realize that by 'personality', they were referring to something like a TV PERSONALITY, like, you know, A CELEBRITY/FAMOUS PERSON. (My mom is, in fact,, not a famous person)
​
I was so embarrased!
​
Good thing students hardly remember stuff like that. But for me, more than a decade later, and I'm still getting second-hand embarrasment from my young dumbass past. Some days I lie awake in bed wondering "why the fuck did I ever answer that?!" lmao but such is life.
​
TL;DR Got asked which personality I admire in a Q&A pageant. Thought they were talking about a character trait, turns out they were asking for a famous person. Embarassed myself in front of the student body.
technicolored_dreams: Native English speaker here and that is a weird way to phrase that question. In the US at least, we would ask "Who is your favorite celebrity?" or of they *had* to use the word personality, they would ask "Who is your favorite TV personality?" but it would still be an odd phrase even that way.
Tldr: it was the person asking who was being confusing, as a native English speaker I would be confused if someone asked me "what is your favorite personality?" and would probably say something like "laid-back, kind, and funny?"
midaspol: The tldr is the same length LOL
technicolored_dreams: Lol good point. Saying less is not one of my strong suits.
Teehus: Why say many word when few do trick
| 5 | 85 | |
1670913354 | 1670974337 | t3_zk2bxm | t5_2to41 | 5 | Talkinokc: Fucking psycho
SethMalcolm1: wow you really dont know what a joke is huh lmfao
Talkinokc: Killing innocent animals with your car isn't even a funny idea
SethMalcolm1: Humor is subjective
Talkinokc: How about don't try and justify intentionally hitting tons of animals with your car?
SethMalcolm1: Making a joke isn't "justifying" anything bruh. Just because I made a joke about it doesn't mean I'm going to do it. How old are you? Cause u sound like a 4 year old.
Talkinokc: I don't believe you. Hope you and your homies hit some rough karma for intentionally hitting animals.
SethMalcolm1:
### [💀](https://emojipedia.org/skull/)
Talkinokc: Yup, keep thinking that intentionally striking animals with your car is funny.
SethMalcolm1: Yep, keep being an idiot and not understanding people can joke about things without actually doing them.
| 10 | 0.5 | |
1670860391 | 1670914267 | t3_zk2rxy | t5_2to41 | 784 | WeirwoodFace: TIFU By not checking who was in the group chat
I received an unhappy email from a client today. My boss texted some information regarding this email to what I believed to be a group chat consisting of him, myself and a co-worker. I answered in the group chat “I will respond to [client’s] rant email.”
The chat was indeed my boss, myself and said client. It didn’t take more than a minute before my boss called to inform me the client was in the group. Something that I should have checked but didn’t because we have NEVER texted information to a client before, only email. Client eventually responded with emphasis that I did not need to respond to the -rant- email.
Not sure how offensive calling the inciting email a “rant” is? What sucks is that the project is very long and I will be seeing said client daily for the foreseeable future.
TLDR; didn’t see who was included in a group chat and told a client their email was a rant.
Oof.
RainbowDonkey473: I want to leave this reply for you so that you can feel better. I had a rep call me once about a customer rant. So I said, “let’s call the client together and get more information”. She did the dialling and we spoke briefly with the client. Then she *hung up* or disconnected the customer (or so I thought). It turned out, the rep did not properly release the call with the client. They sat and listened to the 2 of us talking about the rant and then talking about the person themselves. It was awful. The client took the experience upwards in the food chain and both of us thought we’d be out of jobs. Fortunately, they just reassigned us to different clients. But it taught me a super important lesson. One day, you’ll be able to see the lesson in your experience too. I promise it will get better eventually. Chin up.
Bad_Mechanic: Always communicate like your client is there.
aussie_nub: I wouldn't go that far. Sometimes you need to discuss things that you wouldn't discuss with the client. Disconnecting the call and making a new one would be a better option though.
Bad_Mechanic: What I mean, don't bitch or complain about your client.
PM_ME_A_KNEECAP: Eh. Sometimes you just gotta bitch about idiots.
| 6 | 130.666667 | |
1670861451 | 1670871544 | t3_zk39jn | t5_2to41 | 10 | Infamous_Oil9902: TIFU by stealing alcohol at a house party
Today I realized I fucked up at a party. I just need to get this off my chest because I feel horrible. I think I’ve completely ruined my social reputation and I will never be trusted at parties ever again.
So about 6 months ago, I (17) got invited to a house party with around 20 other people from mostly the same friend group, or at least the same grade. There was only about 5 people I had never met before. And the rest I was friends, or at least acquainted with.
(Btw I live in Scandinavia so it doesn’t really matter that we’re not of legal drinking age yet. And party etiquette will probably be different depending on where you’re from)
“Harry” is the guy hosting the party. Most of the people attending are my classmates, and I was basically just supposed to be hanging out with two of my friends (E and K). I didn’t bring any alcohol of my own since I didn’t have any connections at the time. I was still new to partying so I wasn’t really familiar with the culture yet.
Everyone’s alcohol, which added up to maybe 10 bottles of different spirits, was placed on the table in the living room, together with snacks and mixers. When the party started to take off, me, E, and K for some reason decided to mix our drinks using someone else’s vodka. I don’t know why none of us, or at least E who was more familiar with partying, didn’t question what we were doing. I guess I thought it was like a sharing thing where everyone brought and shared what they had. It just didn’t register that I was stealing from someone. I don’t know why I thought it was okay, but we ended up drinking maybe a third of a bottle split between the three of us. At least enough to get a buzz going. I didn’t realize that alcohol is extremely expensive and that you don’t just share it like you would with the snacks and mixers. I know that’s stupid and it should be common sense, but I genuinely didn’t know. I had a good time, and when the party was over everything seemed fine and everyone seemed like they had an okay time as well. I didn’t think about what we did at all.
Over the summer I started to notice how I wasn’t really getting invited to hang out anymore, and about a month ago I was told by Harry himself to not come to a halloween party at his house because it was already “too crowded”. About 30 people were coming. I knew something was wrong but couldn’t figure out what I had done. This weekend I wasn’t invited to the birthday party of a classmate who I absolutely considered a friend just a couple months ago.
Today I talked about the situation with a friend of mine “T” who’s also outside of the big “party friend group”. T is someone I know I can trust and she said she heard something from a third-party about me, E and K stealing alcohol at Harrys last party and that Harry was worried we would do it again, which is why I was uninvited.
Now everything makes so much sense. All the little comments and odd behaviors from the people in the friend group make sense and I feel so embarrassed. Like when a friend asked me “what are you doing? is that yours?” And pointing to the booze I was pouring into a plastic bottle after a party had ended. Apparently she thought I was stealing her alcohol. (And yes of course it was mine.) Or when a classmate answered “it’s good that you’re asking at least” when I asked him if he could spare a bit of Fanta for me to mix my drink with with. It’s like they’ve all been talking about it this whole time but never bothered to take it up with me. Not even my former best friend (nothing happened we just grew apart) who’s also a part of the friend group thought to tell me why everyone was so weird towards me.
Even though I’m not really a part of that friend group anymore, I still feel awful. I realize now that everyone either sees me as a thief who can’t be trusted or like a socially incompetent dickhead who just takes booze without asking. And I of course understand why. Problem is that no one bothered to talk to me about it and I never got a chance to make it right or pay them back the money I owed. It’s been so long now I feel like it’s no use to try and make amends. It probably wouldn’t be received well anyways.
Mind you, this friend group has kind of become the popular “it” group over the last few months and are honestly a bit mean, so I don’t really hang out with them anymore. But I do still have a few friends who are a part of it. I feel so embarrassed because they must’ve been talking about this situation a lot if even T heard about it from a third-party.
I just wanted to get this whole mess sorted out of my head so I can let it go.
TL:DR I was new to partying and didn’t realize the booze at house parties is private and not for everyone to drink. I ended up unintentionally stealing vodka from someone and basically made myself into a social outcast.
New-Debate-7298: In europe we are "donating" the drinks to the host after the party but in the party every thing is fair game. Maybe you just drink a bit much from the botle and others also wanted it.
Infamous_Oil9902: Yeah I would probably agree with that. One would assume the stuff on the table is free reign since everyone at least brought snacks and mixers if they didn’t have booze. (I brought both) So the costs would still be relatively even and everyone could enjoy the night.
But I’m not sure I would call a third of a bottle split between 3 people that much.
New-Debate-7298: May be it was an expensive one. Like as expensive as a Jonny Walker whisky just in votka. I dont know im not a votka specialist......
Infamous_Oil9902: Yeah I’m no expert either haha. But I’m pretty sure it was just a regular Absolut. Nothing fancy. We’re just broke students after all
New-Debate-7298: It make sence but it still sounds a bit mean to me to drop some one out from a friendgroop for some thing like that. I mean why dont you just ask them to stop if you are dont want them to drink from your spirit.
| 6 | 1.666667 | |
1670864778 | 1670878056 | t3_zk4roy | t5_2to41 | 22 | Red_John_13: TIFU by sleeping in lazy river
So the story begins with me and my few friends going to a water park and ending up being kicked out.
So our engineering semester exams were over and we decided to head out to water park.
As the water park was away from our place we didn't sleep the night before and had to leave early so many of us were feeling sleepy.
So the moment we reach water park we see school kids having their picnic,so to avoid crowd we decide to enjoy the slides first and the relax in lazy river.
So here I am lying in a tube in a lazy river relaxing and being completely unaware of my surroundings and I fell asleep.....
That was the Biggest mistake of my life.So my friends decide to play prank on me and line me up in middle of river where this around 8-9 grade school kids are playing and set me up on collision course.As I am asleep I collide with one of the kid in tube and wake up.All of a sudden I am surrounded by these 8-9 grade kids and one of my friend comes and body slams me.
So now I am under water panicking as I am not a very good swimmer surrounded by bunch of kids.In hastiness I try to grab support by grabbing nearby swimmers leg.So I get up to catch air with my eyes closed water in my nose breathing for my dear life with a swiming suit in my right hand .By the moment I get a grasp of what has happened there is a kid in a pool naked around his peers with a swimming suit in my hand.
The kid beings to cry and scream for help.The crowd gathers and so do the teachers of these school kids.The teacher calls for the staff which literally grab me out of pool and meanwhile the friend which body slamed me ends up vomiting in the pool.
So here we are getting escortted out of the pool and all of a sudden my friend(3rd guy) decides to start and argument with the staff that they can escort us out as we had paid for tickets and how can they take side of school kids as they have paid way less than us.The situation escalates and we 3 guys end up in holding area.
So now by this point I am explaining the staff how this is an accident and I am not a child predator.And the kid is traumatized and completely red faced.I apologise to the kid.Now the security first fines my friend for vomiting in the pool by the time the staff is still deciding what to do with me seeing the commotion my other friends(4th guy) who wad clicking photos of our group gather to see what has happened and there we 3 guys are sitting and explaining the staff and Out of nowhere suddenly this 4th guy comes up with video of my friend body slamming me(This guy decided to take a video and then went straight to the other group of friends who were enjoying a ride and by the time he came back there was commotion so he asked the staff what was this about and ended up finding us.)
So now we show the staff the evidence that this was a prank turned bad they let us go but with a year ban Thanks to my friend who argued with the staff earlier.
TL:DR : Go to water park ,end up sleeping in lazy river,get body slamed,end up with kids swimming suit in hand ,get escortted out by security, Almost declared as child predator,End up getting a year ban
DeaconKnight: Your friend is an asshole and you've very likely traumatized this child for life. You guys need to sort yourselves out.
PacnymuH: "Traumatized for life" because of getting his swimming suit pulled? kid probably won't remember it happened by the time he's 20 lmao
Limp_Will16: The kid is grade 8/9… traumatized for life is definitely dramatic unless the kid has some other issue (social anxiety/panic attacks) already, but they’re definitely going to remember. Hopefully as a funny story to tell people over drinks.
| 4 | 5.5 | |
1670865091 | 1670942041 | t3_zk4wsq | t5_2to41 | 18 | RegularRegret-771: TIFU by telling my partner I was proud of myself for catching up on bills
I (21F) effed up today by telling my partner (25M) that I made enough money to pay the mortgage this month.
For some info, he is a mover, and it's the slow season for him. He wants to quit this job because of the inconsistent hours, but no place around here is hiring at the pay we need. I've always done 80% or more of the household chores, cooking, and cleaning, as well as taking care of our cats - one has special needs. I am on the Autism spectrum, so it's hard for me to keep a job, especially in customer facing roles. This means my "job" is doing Door Dash and UberEATS.
Anyways, weekly, I usually get around $400 before tax ($350ish after), but this week I noticed we would be about $200 short on our next mortgage payment - likely because of Thanksgiving food. So I kicked myself in gear and worked my butt off. I made $165 in one night (about 4 hours), then made up the rest and then some over the next few days. During this week, my partner streamed and edited his gaming and started going to the gym with his brother (brother has a "bring a buddy" perk, so it doesn't cost us), so I knew he was sore. Because he was sore and tired, I didn't want to push him to do UberEATS as well. Not to mention, this is his first time driving in 3+ inches of snow and ice.
I woke up this morning and transferred my payments to our joint account, just barely tipping over our mortgage because I have my own bills I pay by myself. When he woke up, we had our couple time, then I told him that we were going to be fine on the bills this month because I made about $500 after taxes this week. He just got up and started getting his uniform on (even though there was nothing on the schedule we share), and grumpily said "I don't care, I don't like you guys rubbing it in that I'm useless."
Confused, I say "If you don't like it, let us know. You're usually okay with that kind of teasing, but I wasn't even yeasting this time. Just didn't want you to worry..."
He then raised his voice again, but not shouting or yelling "I did. When you and Brother we're in the kitchen."
I'm not good with conflict, so I sat quietly, thinking of what to say. All I could think was //Yeah, when I was in the kitchen, cooking YOUR dinner and washing the dishes. So sorry my mind was too preoccupied to listen to you and your brother's banter.//
A bit of time goes by, he feeds the cats, and I tell him "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I just didn't want us to worry about the bills this month."
He says "I know," pats my head, then goes to work.
TLDR: I made my partner feel useless by picking up the bills when his work isn't giving / can't give him hours.
Revocation_Of_Doubt: You just got the receiving end of his frustration of not being able to provide.
Maybe his brother was giving him shit too.
Sit down with him, tell him you love him and you know it's hard and he's doing his best, but that if he ever shouts at you like that again you will have to kick his ass (make that bit sound like a joke)
voxhaulf: He didn’t shout tho, she made that clear.
Revocation_Of_Doubt: He raised his voice, same thing.
voxhaulf: No they aren’t, i know for sure the difference between shouting and someone raising their voice.
I have been around people like that, and there is a difference.
In same sense how motivational speakers raise their voice to look more confident, but they aren’t yelling.
Revocation_Of_Doubt: Context.
Raised voice with an emotional statement that has her posting on Reddit asking if she fucked up?
That's shouting.
You can shout quietly, perhaps there's a regional language barrier here, but I can shout at you without raising my voice but by changing my tone.
She can modify the conversation to fit her memory of it, the point is that they sit down and talk about it and that she makes it clear that the way he handled it is not the way to do it in future.
voxhaulf: You are trying to make a big thing and forcing it to fit your own view of it.
You can definitely raise your voice calmly.
I am usually very soft spoken and speak with a low voice, but when i have to assert myself or i am upset about something i will raise my voice.
Its still pretty calm, no shouting hell it wouldn’t even be as loud as the regular tone of alot of people out there.
Revocation_Of_Doubt: Why are you doing the same? Neither of us were there and we are both interpreting the tiny portion of information we have.
What she described to me sounded not like a calm statement but rather an emotional outburst that was in appropriate and not acceptable as proven by her distress and thinking that she "fucked up"
I'm not saying he's abusive and needs to be put in his place either.
How about you take a deep breath, and think about who you are arguing with, over what and for what reason.
My advice in my original comment even included instruction to make it jokey, so that the outburst is acknowledged but without attaching an emotional response to it so that *he* doesn't feel like he hurt her when he shouted/raised his voice (she said she doesn't like conflict, so he had clearly made this situation confrontational)
voxhaulf: The difference is that you are telling her to do something as if you know for a fact it happened.
And i am not.
Not sure how that’s not clear?
Revocation_Of_Doubt: I'm suggesting she does something, she doesn't have to, I won't check back and I don't care if she does or does not.
That's the difference, I'm not 6 replies deep with OP who would be the only person who could correct my assertion that he "shouted"
Why is this so important to you?
| 10 | 1.8 | |
1670866842 | 1670871181 | t3_zk5pxb | t5_2to41 | 40 | rand0m_d00d123: TIFU by calling my parents after masturbating
So I (23M) am living abroad right now and I call my family every night. Before calling my parents, I decided to do what normal healthy individuals do and jerk off. This time I decided to film myself just because it adds to the thrill and proceeded to do the deed. After I was done I turned my camera off and cleaned up, then went to call my family.
When my parents picked up the phone, they immediately had a shocked look on their face, followed by a very awkward look. I didn't know anything was wrong so we had the usual conversation except it was a bit more awkward than usual.
Afterwards I decided to text my sister and ask if anything happened, and she asked me why I was naked when we first started calling. ??? I had no clue what she was on about and she told me the entire family could see me naked with a hardon during the beginning of the call. now I realize that my camera must have lagged and displayed the last thing that it was recording before it started showing my face in the call... fml.
Tldr I filmed myself while jerking off and my parents saw
marvin565: What kind of camera does that? Phones don't work that way, boyo...
jaffa3811: nah, sometimes if you take a picture of something and exit the app badly there's that image there for a second. at least with my phone
marvin565: IPhone?;)
jaffa3811: nah android, but it's one of the cheaper ones. I had an s8 for years, I miss it sometimes 🥲
| 5 | 8 | |
1670867988 | 1670950543 | t3_zk68xb | t5_2to41 | 7 | iesharael: TIFU by helping set up the artificial tree.
Technically two days ago but the effect hit me today. Not as interesting as other stories here but I hope I get a few laughs!
We have an artificial tree because pre pandemic we figured out I’m allergic to pine trees. I couldn’t breath if I was in the room with it. Every year since then my mom and dad usually put the tree together while I was at work or sleeping so I never helped with it before. This time it was after work and my sister came over to help my mom set it up. I was in a mood and didn’t want to be perceived as unhelpful so I helped too.
Unfortunately I forgot I have a pretty bad dust allergy... and that tree had been in the dusty basement in a bag that the cats loved sitting on so much there was a cat shaped dent in the branches of the tree and wreaths and such in there.
Yesterday while playing video games with a friend my throat suddenly felt really weird and it became a little hard to breath. Not enough to worry a doctor about though. I decided to just call it a night early and hope it went away. Well I woke up today and I can’t lay down or I can’t breath and I can’t stand up or I feel like I’m gonna puke. My ears feel weird too but that could be my wisdom teeth. Fever of 99.9! Not bad! From now on I’ll stick to just helping with the ornaments in their nice sealed storage boxes.
At least I don’t have work today or tomorrow!
TLDR I’m allergic to Christmas trees... real and artificial!
AcrobaticSource3: Are you sure it’s not COVID? Those are the symptoms! Merry Christmas
iesharael: Had covid before and didn’t feel like this tbh. I feel way way way better than when I had Covid. I feel the same way I did when I had to switch rooms due to dust coming up from the basement so I’m pretty sure it’s from the dust going everywhere getting the tree up
AcrobaticSource3: Yeah, but I hear that if you get Covid a second time, 5e symptoms are less serious? Anyway, I hope that you are completely cured of your respiratory issues long before Christmas!
iesharael: TMI but like usual when I’m having a dust issue I got a big solid bit of bloody flem out and then felt a lot better a few hours later. I’ll ask my mum if she thinks I should test before tomorrow but tbh I’ve pretty much just have my wisdom teeth issues now
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1670869403 | 1670877398 | t3_zk6wyq | t5_2to41 | -2 | [deleted]: TIFU by adding my teacher on the boys GC.
[deleted]
Hopwater: >now keep in mind that this group chat has OFFENSIVE HUMOR and I mean OFFENSIVE like straight up ching chong humor.
What is ching chong humor?
RIZ_SSC: mocking asians (i'm asian), mostly chinese
Hopwater: You're Chinese?
RIZ_SSC: Filipino
Hopwater: So... Racism? That's a whole different kind of offensive. A guy at my school was expelled for something similar but who knows maybe your teacher is a racist too
| 6 | -0.333333 | |
1670869853 | 1670880836 | t3_zk74ie | t5_2to41 | 18 | thatguythingme59: Tifu by destroying a 3k go cart and 2 walls
Aight so yesterday I was at this gocart place called speeders and in my first 2 races I did really good and the manager even came up to me and offered me to play in the pro speed race which is 30 km faster than a standard race. So for my 3rd race I get in the pro speed cart and I notice the steering wheel is a bit loose, I thought that was normal for these carts. So I’m driving right and then on lap 2 the fucking steering wheel stopped working. Apperently an axel snapped in the wheel assembly. So either way I’m sitting here going 80km headed straight for the wall barrier for the track and go straight through it and the second wall behind it leading to the other side of the track, demolished the cart as well, They said it has to be scrapped.
Luckily they were worried they would get sued if I was injured because they had faulty equipment so I got to race for free the rest of the night which is great since it’s 40$ a race.
TLDR; I broke a go cart going 80km and destroyed 2 walls
throwawaylogin2099: You could still sue them for emotional distress even though you were not physically injured. I think they got off light when you accepted a free night of driving worth $40.
thatguythingme59: It’s 40$ per race, and I did 5. Also I know the owner and I don’t want to do that to him, it was just one loose screw, plus I expect that I might get hurt going there
throwawaylogin2099: They got over on you even though their negligence could have seriously injured or even killed you. Your expectation doesn't cancel out their obligation to maintain their equipment at a safe standard.
Down vote all you want. You're still the sucker in this story. 🤡
thatguythingme59: It was a new employee working on the cart so I’m pretty sure he got fired, it’s not like this happens often tho, the last time anybody got hurt was 3 years ago and it’s because a guy was intentionally rear ending and blindsiding people
snarual: You mean the last time they couldn’t fool someone into thinking a few free rides were sufficient hush money to cover up negligence?
| 6 | 3 | |
1670871108 | 1670876985 | t3_zk7qew | t5_2to41 | 73 | Habelx: TIFU by joking I married my best friend
So last month I (28m) met irl with a friend(28m) and his wife (31f) for the first time after knowing each other for over 8 years. Afterwards, since we thought it would be funny we made a Facebook post satirizing my visit to meet John and his wife for a few days. However, we framed the post as if we just got hitched. We thought it was funny. We thought it was very clearly a joke taking itself perhaps a bit too seriously given how we worded it. Well after 2 days I have been forced to edit it because my friends and extended family clearly didn't get it. My mom just got a clean bill of health and is cancer free as of today (yay!), however for the last 2 days while shes been waiting for the results she and the rest of my immediate family have been assaulted by a barrage of texts and calls from people that took that shit at 100% face value. So in the middle of the stress fest I changed the fb post to clarify it is satire and save my family from my fuckup. It was spinning out of control and was not gonna die anytime soon so against my malicious nature that wanted to see this play out I ended it. While entertaining to an immense degree, people were endlessly harassing my immediate family for answers and that shit needed to stop. So right now, over half my extended family and friends thinks I'm gay and am currently living my best life with my life partner named John. Im sure it will all sort itself out but my god social media is honestly terrifying after seeing how quick this got out of hand.
I would also like to clarify my close friends and family knew I was joking in post and more than anything it was a celebration of us finally meeting (They get my sense of humor). When it got out of hand and it became clear I had fucked up and was negatively effecting those around me I went on damage control and ended it. Worst outcome at this point is some awkward exchanges at the next family reunion. Lesson learned but zero regrets.
**Sorry for any grammar issues, I typed this up quickly on my break
TL;DR: friend, his wife and I thought it would be funny to frame my visit as us getting married. Spreads like wildfire and now most of my extended family keeps calling extremely concerned and confused cause they didn't get the joke.
KreePea-: How did they get your family's contact info? That's the thing that scares me.
Habelx: It's my extended family and family friends. So aunts, uncles, etc. Getting our cell numbers wouldn't be too hard.
KreePea-: Ah OK. I understood it to be your friends extended family. That... actually makes them blowing up your mom's phone worse since they know how stressed and sick she has been.
| 4 | 18.25 | |
1670872109 | 1670872770 | t3_zk87dz | t5_2to41 | 20 | drunkensailor54: TIFU by sinking an oil tanker
Obligatory, this happened over 8 years ago and this is a throwaway account.
I was out on the ocean with some friends, enjoying a day of boating. We were having a great time, laughing and joking around. At one point, we came across an oil tanker and decided to get a little too close. I was drunk and high on cocaine and meth at the time, so I don't really remember what came over me, but I decided to try and ram the tanker with our boat.
To my surprise, our boat actually made contact with the tanker and managed to break a hole in its hull. The tanker immediately began to take on water and started to sink. I couldn't believe what I had done.
We tried to call for help, but it was too late. The tanker went down quickly, taking its crew and thousands of gallons of oil with it. I'll never forget the horrified looks on the faces of the tanker's crew as they realized what was happening.
As we were watching the tanker sink, I noticed a small seagull that had been caught in the oil slick. Without thinking, I jumped into the water and swam over to the bird. I managed to grab it and bring it back to our boat. We cleaned the oil off of the seagull and made sure it can fly again. I felt so guilty about what I had done that I gave the seagull some of the cocaine that I had with me. I know it sounds crazy, but I thought it would help to ease the seagull's suffering. We then released it back into the wild.
I felt like I had at least done something to make up for my mistake. The oil spill affected marine life and coastal communities for years to come, but at least one small seagull was saved thanks to my actions.
I learned a valuable lesson that day: never drink or do drugs and operate a boat, and always be ready to help those in need.
This happened over 8 years ago, and I'm posting this on a throwaway account because I don't want my real username associated with this story. I'm not proud of what I did, but I want to share my mistake in the hopes that others will learn from it.
TL;DR: I sunk an oil tanker while drunk and high on drugs, but saved a seagull and gave it cocaine to make it up to them. My actions, although small, helped to mitigate the environmental damage caused by the spill.
NovaOnEG: Are you high right now?
WaitingOnPizza: “Is this oil tanker with us in the room right now?”
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1670874293 | 1670884498 | t3_zk97u4 | t5_2to41 | 15 | RuralRasta: TIFU by not claiming a $5,000 prize from McDonalds
Update: Spoke with the representative, this has been verified as 100% legitimately McDonalds and not a scam or phishing attempt.
So I'm purging my email inbox today. I have countless emails from McDonalds with random offers and blah blah and I had won some random common prizes like some online class on the monopoly game I was possibly going to claim and just eventually started ignoring their emails. So today I'm cleaning all of them out, I see two unopened emails saying I was the "potential" winner because I made an order with the app and it was entered as a ballot and mine was chosen. It asked me to send information to receive prize claim documentation. If not by December 13, 2021 I'd forfeit the prize. The subject had no congratulations or anything just said appstakes stuff and I guess I just disregarded it because I saw nothing about winner in the subject. I literally just am seeing this a year later. And am now stomaching the fact that I won $5,000 from McDonalds and didn't claim it. I'm not sure how I'm gonna get over this one. Yikes. Here's the e-mail:
Congratulations! You are a potential winner in the McDonald’s Appstakes Contest! You were automatically entered when you either redeemed an offer in the McDonald’s app or placed an order using Mobile Ordering in the McDonald’s app during the Sweepstakes period and your entry was selected in one of the drawings.
The prize is a cheque for $5,000.
To be eligible to claim the prize, you must be a resident of Canada who is/was 13 years of age or older as of the time of your participation. See Official Rules at https://appstakes.mcdpromotion.ca/rules?language=eng for complete details.
If you wish to claim this prize you must respond back to this email with your first and last name, street address, city, province/territory, postal code and daytime phone number (and the same information for your parent/legal guardian if you are a minor) no later than 5:00 pm CT on December 8, 2021. Upon receipt of your response, we will send Prize Claim Documents to you which will include a Declaration and Release including a skill testing question (which must be correctly answered without any assistance, whether electronic, mechanical, or other). Failure to return the completed Declaration and Release by 5:00 pm CT on December 8, 2021, will result in the automatic forfeiture of the prize.
Please let us know in your response if you wish to correspond in English or French.
If you have any questions regarding this notification, please do not hesitate to contact me at (312) 614-4655.
We appreciate your participation in the McDonald’s Appstakes Contest, and I look forward to hearing back from you by the deadline indicated above.
Thank you,
Lisa Curtis
The McDonald’s Redemption Centre
This was followed by a final notice e-mail requesting again. Subject just said attn: McDonalds appstakes contest: prize notification. I'm thinking I didn't see the prize notification part of the subject on my phone screen.
TL;DR I was entered in a sweepstakes draw through McDonalds and won the draw for $5,000 but didn't notice the e-mail and didn't claim it and it's gone now.
wwwhistler: Chances are good that you never actually won anything
And if you had "won", chances are good you would never have received it.
So you're really out nothing at all.
RuralRasta: The chances are good yes, and I've been subjected to many spam phishing attempts. But this... Is actually legit. There's an actual link to the official rule page for the McDonalds sweepstakes. What's described in the email matches up exactly to the official rules. And I did enter the contest by using the app to make purchases. All they asked for was my name and address etc. And that I'd have to answer a skill testing question and if it was correct I'd receive the $5,000.
snarual: Sure, it links to the real rules page, but do the instructions for claiming your prize involve going to a page on the real McDonald’s domain, or calling a real phone number that’s legitimately associated with the company? If you contact them now, will they just say sorry, too late, or will they make up some shit to get your info? The most effective phishing scams always look real and have some kind of deadline so you rush to respond without taking time to think it through. Emotion + urgency.
You say the deadline was 13 December - did the email arrive a few days before that or a few weeks before that? Does it seem likely that a major corporation would have a short deadline? Or that they’d contact you via email when they have your phone number (presumably) and your mailing address?
Pretty sure you dodged a bullet since it sounds like you’d have fallen for the scam.
RuralRasta: Here is the e-mail I was sent:
Congratulations! You are a potential winner in the McDonald’s Appstakes Contest! You were automatically entered when you either redeemed an offer in the McDonald’s app or placed an order using Mobile Ordering in the McDonald’s app during the Sweepstakes period and your entry was selected in one of the drawings.
The prize is a cheque for $5,000.
To be eligible to claim the prize, you must be a resident of Canada who is/was 13 years of age or older as of the time of your participation. See Official Rules at https://appstakes.mcdpromotion.ca/rules?language=eng for complete details.
If you wish to claim this prize you must respond back to this email with your first and last name, street address, city, province/territory, postal code and daytime phone number (and the same information for your parent/legal guardian if you are a minor) no later than 5:00 pm CT on December 8, 2021. Upon receipt of your response, we will send Prize Claim Documents to you which will include a Declaration and Release including a skill testing question (which must be correctly answered without any assistance, whether electronic, mechanical, or other). Failure to return the completed Declaration and Release by 5:00 pm CT on December 8, 2021, will result in the automatic forfeiture of the prize.
Please let us know in your response if you wish to correspond in English or French.
If you have any questions regarding this notification, please do not hesitate to contact me at (312) 614-4655.
We appreciate your participation in the McDonald’s Appstakes Contest, and I look forward to hearing back from you by the deadline indicated above.
Thank you,
Lisa Curtis
The McDonald’s Redemption Centre
The thing is I do use the McDonalds app for mobile ordering meaning I was entered to the draw that actually does legitimately exist. I responded to the e-mail now hoping they will get back to me to at least verify whether it's actually McDonalds or not. And tried calling the number but she isn't in her office.
I know it's super unlikely in this day and age but I think this is actually real. And I never win stuff. I'm rattled.
snarual: Sure sounds legit… but that’s not one of the available prizes, and even the grand prize isn’t close to that much.
B. Prizes, Approximate Retail Value ("ARV"):
Ten Grand Prizes: Each Grand Prize winner will receive a Samsung Galaxy Z flip 4 Phone in Graphite. The phone will be unlocked and will not include mobile service. ARV $1,339.99.
Twenty Second Prizes: Each Second Prize winner will receive a Samsung Galaxy Watch 5 BT 40mm in silver. The watch does not include mobile service. ARV: $349.99.
Thirty Third Prizes: Each Third Prize winner will receive a Samsung Galaxy Buds Pro2 in Bora Purple, ARV: $289.99.
One Hundred Fourth Prizes: Each Fourth Prize winner will receive 100,000 MyMcDonald's Rewards Points, ARV: $71.
RuralRasta: https://www.iphoneincanada.ca/news/mcdonalds-canada-monopoly-appstakes/
snarual: So you’ve had this email sitting in your inbox since 2020 when that *was* a prize option? Because it’s clearly not in 2022. The legitimate link in the email you received lists the prizes.
RuralRasta: 2021
snarual: Well, if it was legit for 2021, one of the alternate winners should be thanking you. I assumed you’d just missed the deadline by a few days, not an entire year. It’s TIFU, not LYIFU :D
RuralRasta: I know I forgot to add the "this happened last year" bit at the start
| 11 | 1.363636 | |
1670881726 | 1670882897 | t3_zkcnt2 | t5_2to41 | 19 | whackri: TIFU by agreeing to give a speech in front of a big audience
[removed]
monstblitz: So basically you're a real life 80's movie villain and got what you deserved?
Changoleo: You can’t treat me like this!
*sobbing & sniffling*
I’m rich…*sob* smart…*sob* and… *voice cracking* successful!
I’m a big boy!
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1670883002 | 1670938838 | t3_zkd9b6 | t5_2to41 | 47 | aljoncryp: TIFU by lying to my partner and ending our long term relationship
I could really make this a 10 paragraph post, but I want to make it short and get people's opinion on how to best handle this, even though I really F'd up!
Tl;dr - I've been going out to drink too much with coworkers, direspecting my partner's time, and 'flirting' with a work colleague.
My (M32) 5+ year relationship maybe be over with my partner (F29). After a few weeks (~4 consecutive ones) of constantly going going out with coworkers for afterwork drinks at least twice during the week and coming back home around 8-9pm, my partner was getting tired of this. Specially when I said I was coming home earlier. This past weekend I did the same because of my company's Christmas party even though I had agreed to only go to the party for a few hours and meet her at a friend's party around 9pm. She was completely ok with that. However, I had quite a lot to drink and was enjoying the party, so I didn't turn up to the other party until 12am. Of course, she was not happy about this at all.
We had a big chat over the weekend about this and I completely accepted I've been a terrible and disrespectful partner lately.. things got a bit better until today, when she started questioning what happened at the Xmas party and why I was so late to our friend's party. After some back and forth discussions, she wanted to check my phone which I agreed to - but when she went to check one of my social media apps, I stopped her and told her that she might see something she might not like. I told her about a chick from work who I'm attracted to and whom I sent a very inappropriate message calling her 'babe' and asking her to tell me when she gets home the night of the Xmas party. During the night, we danced quite a bit and we have previously danced quite closely in a social setting, but nothing else has happened. Of course, I completely understand that my partner will think that there is a lot more going on and that I've probably done more than just dance (I would be thinking the same if roles were switched).
I don't know what I want out of this post to be honest. It is just so hard to think that my relationship is over because of my temptations. We moved together to a different country, away from family, supporting each other and living in a house where we have a lease signed for another 2 years. We have assets signed to both of our names and our families were also quite friendly and close to each other. I don't think I can come back from this - and I just don't know how things will change for both of us from now on. Our conversation didn't end in a fight - she just staid silent for 30 mins and then left the room to go to bed. I am at a loss and I'm really fearful of what our conversation will be like when we speak next..
Update: our relationship is essentially over. She expressed her thoughts and feelings and a lot of it can be summarised with many of the messages posted in here - I'm a cheater, compulsive liar, disrespectful, dishonest, immature, and led her on for years, all for nothing. She repeatedly told me she hopes I die and doesn't want to see my face anymore. I do feel like shit and couldn't say more than apologise, agree that I am terrible (no sarcasm) and explain my stupid rationale of why I did it, even though it is a terrible excuse: I said that I never did anything physical and emotional cheating < physical cheating, but as one comment in this thread rightly put it, emotional cheating is actually worse as it occurs over time rather than a once off thing. Anyways - the comments in here further confirm how much of an asshole I am and how little I valued my relationship.. I can't really imagine a future without my partner, so not sure what will happen next.
GnomeMode: You're calling another person "babe". That's at very least an emotional affair. Stop speaking to them immediately
Sherbertbombs7: Yeah calling another woman babe, that'd be the end for me.
ivanthemute: Varies by person. I went to college with a young lady who called everyone "love." Difference is, she was originally from Gloucester, in the West Counties in England. Most Americans, nah, that wouldn't fly.
Vast_Reflection: There’s definitely people who do that, and I don’t know if it’s just regional. I’ve met people, guys and ladies, who call everyone “hun” or “love” and it’s just a thing they do. Obviously this guy doesn’t do that, otherwise she wouldn’t be upset.
| 5 | 9.4 | |
1670883942 | 1670987787 | t3_zkdpwj | t5_2to41 | 8 | WishIddonebetter: TIFU: Fucked around and found out
In October, I decided I wanted to have a last baby, but my husband and I are separated and he’s been snipped anyway. I was lonely, relationships weren’t happening, and I love kids so so much, so every time I met a little kid, I just wanted that in my life again. I looked into artificial insemination, but it was 1000 dollars. I could get that, but I’d have to save, and I have much more pressing matters on my plate. So I decided to go the natural insemination route. I arranged meet ups with a few different people, some the day we started talking.
In November, I decided that I’d better just get some STD testing “for good measure” and because people were demanding to see the paperwork. I thought I was covered because I had my birth control removed in Sept, and mentioned to the doctor that I should have it done, and he said he’d see to it. So I managed to get in the next day in November, and within a week, had a phone call that I have Trichomonas, a parasite passed through sexual contact. 4 pills and one week later, and I am clear to resume sex. But I still had blood work to do to get a full screening. Well, the rest of November passes, and I can’t make anything work out for hookups. One guy in particular won’t do a thing until I get that bloodwork done. So I finally get around to it last Monday, and Friday I get a call… I have HSV (herpes) 1 AND 2, and …. Syphilis. I need three shots because God knows when I was infected… I’d been stealthed in the past besides these meetups.
Had the first shot today. Let me tell you something about that med. They have to inject it into your glute (ass) and it is PAINFUL. Honest to God I don’t know if I can take two more shots, but you know I damn well will.
But goddammit I fucked up big time.
And I’ve been ghosted and in some cases blocked by all the people involved, so can’t even tell them to get tested.
I did tell my ex, just in case, but he gets tested regularly anyway, and is in the clear… so best guess is really it happened this last Oct.
The ONLY bright spot in all of this? Since I wasn’t able to arrange any more hookups, I wasn’t able to spread it around.
TL:DR Take a lesson from me, don’t fuck around. You may well find out. Got a bunch of STDs from unprotected sex with strangers.
Recent-Metal5409: Just because you wanna get high on mommy hormones don't ruin your potential baby's life. Life is HARD and getting harder each day.
WishIddonebetter: We only have the last few decades for comparison though. Life is a series of decisions, of choices. It was NEVER meant to be or made to be “easy” because no one
learns much from easy. Even people with money don’t have it easy. They still struggle with their own issues. Look at all the famous people who have mental health problems. The ones who do have it easy usually die young.
Whether or not I have a child won’t be decided on how easy that child will have life. Hell, I have mental health issues and ADHD and maybe autism I will probably pass on, but decided on what I can bring to that child, and what that child can bring to the World. I LOVE children, even those who aren’t mine. I will take the bad with the good, but as I always do, I will do my best to concentrate on the good. I will raise them gently. I will adore them, as I adore all children, and they will know how much they are loved and adored, because not many days will go by where I don’t ask “Hey, did I tell you I love you today?”. They will be held. They will be comforted. They will be spoken with. They will be accepted for who they are, no matter what that may turn out to be. They will be evaluated for ADHD and if they are, given the tools to help them. They will see a therapist if they struggle. They will be fed, clothed, urged to drink lots of water. We will clean as a team. I will have to break my habit of buying too many toys and clothes and wanting to make my kiddo happy with things… heck, working on that for myself.
But IF I have a child, they will be raised with love.
No_Love_1353: Until those mental health issues take their toll.
WishIddonebetter: Everyone has their burdens, their issues. You want the human race to die out? Don’t let anyone with issues have children.
No_Love_1353: Sounds like a valid idea, actually. Likely not moral to enforce though.
WishIddonebetter: The problem is who gets to decide who has a baby and who doesn’t? And what are the standards? Do only people with a certain amount of money get to have kids? What about skin color? And do only people with no inheritable diseases get to have children? Do they have to have a psych evaluation? Be a certain age? Are you going to allow gay people to have children? How many people think gay people shouldn’t be allowed to have children? Where do you draw the line?
The thing is, it’s paternalistic to think that anyone should have a say over who does and does not have children. The same sort of paternalism that brought about colonialism. The same sort of paternalism that brought about experiments on Black people that allowed them to live with STDs for decades to see what would happen to them.
It’s BEYOND problematic. It’s basically saying only certain people get to decide who has children and who doesn’t… and it’s racist, and ableist, and ageist…. etc.
And I won’t even get into the economic damage it would cause cause I just don’t care if the whole system collapses because there aren’t enough people to keep it going.
Oh, and should we get into the problems such practices have caused in places like China? You think it would be better in the West?
It would be catastrophic in so many ways you cannot see or count on… and just remember, the Right is already trying to control women’s bodies.. you are talking about controlling them too. Is that what you want?
No_Love_1353: Here’s the thing, you were so eager to get bred that you would jump in bed with anyone, regardless of if they even had a clean bill of health.
That’s not healthy for you, nor healthy for any offspring you threw.
| 8 | 1 | |
1670886274 | 1670893563 | t3_zkesbn | t5_2to41 | 25 | holycowabunga1: TIFU by putting my AirPod in my mouth
Okay so every night I fall asleep with my AirPods in, usually listening to music or some random YouTube video. I think most of you who also do this know the feeling of waking up and frantically searching for them in the bed every morning since they rarely stay in. Well let’s just say that’s not what happened this morning.
I was awoken by my alarm, per usual and noticed a weird feeling in my mouth. Since I was still half asleep it took me a minute to realise my AirPod was there. Just sorta chilling. Idk how it got there or why my sleeping self thought that was a good idea but yeah. Also because I’m an idiot I just laid there for like 2 minutes without taking the AirPod out. I question my own intelligence sometimes.
Well the part where I realise I fucked up came later in the day when I tried my AirPods and welp, wouldn’t you know, it didn’t work. I have no idea for how long I had it in my mouth, I just remember waking up and it being there. Time to invest in new headphones I suppose.
TL;DR
I put my AirPod in my mouth while asleep for an unknown amount of time and now it doesn’t work.
RudeSprinkles1240: You should have someone check your ears for blackheads. Having ear plugs and/or ear buds in for a long time every day can cause you to have hellacious blackheads, and since you can't see your ears in the mirror, you won't know.
holycowabunga1: Great so two fuckups, love that for me
RudeSprinkles1240: Nah. Just something to think about. You should periodically ask somebody to look at your ears anyway. Like I said, you can't see them yourself.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1670887582 | 1670905185 | t3_zkfc78 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by squirting on my boss and his new carpet
[deleted]
CallMeDeKay: Oh ketchup. Yeah I opened this thinking something tooooootally different.
zjzjzjzjzjzjzj: Lol same for me
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1670888508 | 1670908445 | t3_zkfqmx | t5_2to41 | 68 | Top-Ad-8655: TIFU by not giving my final presentation
I had a final presentation in my class today that was worth 10% of my grade. (Which honestly isn't that bad and I'm taking this class pass/fail anyways)
It's 5 presentations per day and I was so nervous that emailed her my presentation last second.
But then she thought that the 4th person was last, and said "last but not least" and everything.
After that, she immediately started talking and she said that she would let the class leave early, so I felt like I couldn't jump in and say I didn't present yet.
I shared the presentation via Google slides and I swear that I checked the notify person box, but I didn't see it in my sent folder. I was hoping that she didn't see the email and just assumed I went.
I was unlucky because she saw it and emailed me saying that I was on the list to present today and then asked if she did something wrong.
I don't know how to reply to her without sounding so pathetic lmao.
I have finals tomorrow anyways so it looks like a reply is tomorrow's problem lol.
TL;DR: I didn't give my final presentation, my professor sent me an email asking if she did something wrong, and I have no idea how to reply.
Shibby523: Just tell the truth. No sense sugar coating anything.
Top-Ad-8655: I know  I'm just not mentally prepared to send a stupid sounding reply yet.
Revocation_Of_Doubt: "Hi, no nothing wrong. What happened was I sent it last minute and then I guess you didn't get the notification and then you said 'last but not least' and I guess I should have said something but that would require me to be a fully functioning human, which I'm not yet apparently.
Anyway, is it too late?"
| 4 | 17 | |
1670889602 | 1670892438 | t3_zkg6r9 | t5_2to41 | 62 | Typical-Promise3719: TIFU by asking my partner if he was okay
There's a lot of background context to this, but long story short, things have been strained these last few months because of a breakdown in my relationship with his mother. This culminated in an argument, and neither of us has spoken to each other since (his mother and me).
He met up with his mother yesterday, and when he came home, everything seemed fine. He was his usual, happy, cuddly self. But this morning, I went to get something from upstairs, and he was working. I asked how he was, and he said, "yeah, I'm okay." His tone was completely off. He sounded sad.
Long story short, we broke up, I've moved out, and I think it's just sinking in. He said that his mother mentioned how upset she was, and she doesn't believe she could have any kind of relationship with me... He says he doesn't know how to "fix" it, so that's it.
There is physical pain in my chest, and I feel like I might throw up from how today turned out.
TLDR: I asked my partner how he was, and now we have broken up.
Sharp-Bad-6599: There's alot of context missing so I'm not sure how you expect people to give you opinions based off what you wrote.
Edit. I'm sorry you broke up but it sounds like he chose his mother over you. It happens. Nothing you can do about that. Give it a little time, like a week or two at max, if he hasn't made an effort to reconcile, let it go and move on.
Typical-Promise3719: Feel free to ask away, and I'll answer any questions.
I think I should've put this on a vent sub.
Sharp-Bad-6599: Yalls age, how long was the relationship, for starters
Typical-Promise3719: Both mid-thirties, have been together for nearly 6 years, and have lived together for four years.
Sharp-Bad-6599: What happened when yall broke up. What was the conversation that leaf to its best to end this. Doesn't seem like an argument with his mother would be enough to throw away 6 years
Typical-Promise3719: Literally, what was said in my third paragraph, he doesn't see a way to fix this, so he ends our relationship. We did talk for a while, and as I said, things have been strained since the argument. I just didn't expect this, you know?
Sharp-Bad-6599: Sounds like his mother is overly opinionated and inserts herself where she's not needed or wanted. He's caught in the middle, doesn't know how to set appropriate boundaries or won't. It's tough but at least you found out how important you are to your partner. I wouldn't try to work this out until those boundaries have been put in place and most important enforced by him. If he's not willing to do that nothing you can do but move on
Typical-Promise3719: Thank you for this advice. It's still too soon to tell which way this could go. I'm hoping it spins towards reconciliation, but I must remain realistic.
| 9 | 6.888889 | |
1670892550 | 1670897264 | t3_zkhdll | t5_2to41 | 13 | fecal-butter: TIFU: by not doing anything about my crippling anxiety
TIFU by not doing anything about my crippling anxiety
Im a 3rd year university student with ADHD. i failed most of my classes this semester by not paying enough attention to details. However i could still absolve by passing the minimal amount of classes. I had a project with a deadline of 12. 12. 23:59. I procastrinated for two whole weeks because i was crippled by anxiety. You hear this term a lot but its no joke. Its crippling in the most literal sense of the word. I started 2 days ago with the help of some friends. One of them even got really angry that they are helping too much. I spent 18 hours straight with this today and another 10 yesterday. I missed the deadline by half an hour. Which means i lose my scholarship. My family cant pay for university. Im utterly fucked. I dont know what to do. Im helpless and its all my fault. Its been almost two hours and i havent been able to think straight. This is probably not the right sub for this, im sorry.
Tl;dr: Sit down. Do the stuff you have to do. Dont be like me.
QuiGonJinn: Start by saying I am an Tech guy, not a doctor or behavioral health professional.
Anxiety takes many forms, including simply putting of things you don't want to do.
You are not alone, I spent 3 days dreading a sleep study I had to do, got there late, felt like there was no point because the instructions said "Do not show up late or you will be billed $200" that I don't have.
Got there a few minutes late due to a address mix up, same address, 2 different cities, right next to each other. One address is 10 miles from the other. Employee was cool with things, he said it was no big deal they where running a little behind. I had tried to call but it was of course afterhours, even though they have people on site 24/7. Employee didn't make a big deal of it, but I had spent 3 days on edge, anxiety, stress, and dreading it.
So again you are not alone. You should see someone about the anxiety, and talk to the instructor, counselors, ect.
fecal-butter: Im studying to be in Tech too. Or was. Thank you. This restored my faith a little
QuiGonJinn: I would bet I am at least twice your age, as you said you are at university, and that age was 16-20 years ago for me.
I have been dealing with the anxiety for most of my life. I have it diagnosed, but the medication I have tried don't work or interact with other meds that I have to have due to chronic diseases. Yes diseases, I have at least 3 that untreated and uncontrolled could lead to death. Anxiety is just part of life for me. and dealing with it is never fun nor easy.
Best of luck, and update us on how things go. You didn't have a TIFU, you had more of a Today I Made a Mistake. You can't change what has happened, but you can try to correct it and do your best to learn from it and not repeat it.
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1670901381 | 1671045697 | t3_zkkqip | t5_2to41 | 2,761 | Hutch_2310_: TIFU by going into work
So, this was about two years ago at this point. I was working for a vendor inside of a Walmart to do with cell phones and things of that nature (which btw, do not recommend 0/10 job but that’s a story for another day), and I was approached by an older man needing help with his cell phone. Well, I did my job, got his phone back up in working order. The thing about this job however is we were not allowed to access personal information, like pictures and whatnot for obvious reasons, and I just clicked on some apps to make sure he had his internet connection back on his cell phone. Well, as we all know, things happen & buttons get hit by accident. I, very very unfortunately, hit his Google search bar. And well, all I saw there was “naked little girls” “little girls peeing” and some others to do with animals that I don’t feel like typing out. I only saw it for about two seconds before closing it and basically shoving his phone back at him. He went on his way, I proceeded to go into the bathroom and vomit profusely. Shortly after that, I called my DM to ask his thoughts, and we were both in agreement that I should call the police. Obviously had that planned, but getting a second opinion from someone I trusted helped verify that plan. Police show up, and take my statement. Then the officer says he wants me to verify the man on camera. So he gets front end to open the security footage room, and front end tries to tell me I can’t enter the room. Safe to say the officer had a few.. choice words for their decision making on that, and 15 seconds later he and I were in the room with the door closed. I was able to identify the suspect on camera, and I later found out he was arrested.
TL;DR I experienced a pedophile at my old work place, was able to identify him, and got him arrested
AcrobaticSource3: Was he a frequent customer? How did they catch him? Anyway, good he was arrested
Hutch_2310_: My spouse and I did also found him on the registry, but I’m not going to post that obviously bc I’m not gonna dox someone
mooseyjew: Registered sex offenders info is public record, any information you get from the registry is public. You can't dox someone who's on the sex offender registry.
Fuck that asshole, everyone should know his name and his face.
charleswj: Doxing doesn't require "non public" information.
mooseyjew: Still can't dox someone on the sex offender registry. Their information is public for a reason.
charleswj: For some reason you think information that is already "public" can't be used as a part of doxing a person and that is false.
mooseyjew: I'm talking about REGISTERED SEX OFFENDERS on the SEX OFFENDER REGISTRY specifically.
It's ENCOURAGED to spread their information around, BECAUSE THEY'RE SEXUAL PREDATORS.
I don't give two fucks what you think doxxing is or isn't.
charleswj: >It's ENCOURAGED to spread their information around, BECAUSE THEY'RE SEXUAL PREDATORS.
At least according to the Illinois State Police, that's not true:
>The primary purpose of providing this information is to make the information easily available and accessible, not to warn about any specific individuals.
>I don't give two fucks what you think doxxing is or isn't.
You're allowed to be wrong, you should have just said so.
fomoco94: VA State police says essentially the same thing. I'd bet all 50 states say similar.
| 10 | 276.1 | |
1670899040 | 1670939003 | t3_zkjv29 | t5_2to41 | 226 | Affectionate-Poet920: TIFU by forgetting I was screen sharing during club elections
I am the vice president of this club and I was sharing screen while we were reading the election results, but there was a tiebreaker for a position. One of my friends was running for this position, but they have held it for the past two semesters, and I thought their opponent would be better, so I voted for their opponent and was looking at the results. However, I was sharing my screen the entire time, so everyone saw my vote and the results and multiple people texted and called me to say they saw my vote.
My friend didn't say anything for the rest of the meeting, but she told the president she now wants to quit and doesn't feel trusted.
I apologized but I just don't know what to do now. I don't think she will understand that it wasn't a personal decision and it really was an accident.
TL;DR I shared screen while voting against my friend in our club elections.
Important-Coconut-78: Why did you think the opponent would be better than your friend? Have you communicated these reasons to your friend?
Affectionate-Poet920: I think they are more impartial. I didn't communicate this to my friend because she doesn't always hear constructive criticism and tends to get passive-aggressive instead of communicating. Also, healthy communication skills are part of the role they were running for.
redwolf587: I was a vice president and my "friend" was the president of a college club, she was so passive aggressive but eventually became petty too, she wasn't fit for presidency. Eventually, I slowly stopped being directly involved with the club, because I didn't want to deal with all the drama she would stir up... and then she started deciding things without confiding in people. It almost costed the club because she passed presidency to someone who wanted it, who just left one day without a word.
We're not friends anymore. (For a bunch of reasons)
And I'm seeing a bit of similarities with your friend. Maybe take a hard look at your friendship. Don't let them dictate your choices.
Hopefully your friend is better then what I dealt with.
RandoCalrissian11: I’ve been through that club BS too. Went from over 100 members per meeting to 10 because of leadership. We got the offending board overthrown and went back up to 50 by the next year and over 100 soon after again.
| 5 | 45.2 | |
1670888495 | 1670933369 | t3_zkfqfq | t5_2to41 | 14 | Asl4n420: TIFU by accidentally connecting my email to my cousins phone
Not today but a couple of weeks ago. To put things bluntly I come from a broken family, neither side of my family is particularly better than the other however I’m much closer to my mothers side of the family.
While I’m not close to the majority of my fathers side of the family, I didn’t have any problems with anyone until now. By stupidly using my email on my cousins phone to have a second account on a game I was playing at the time, I inadvertently connected it to his email account so he could access my account. A fools mistake, I know.
This gave the cousin I now hate (a different cousin, on the first cousins phone) the ability to commit fraud in my name and he has racked up a debt in my name with multiple websites. I have already contacted them and told them it wasn’t me, and he stupidly left his address as a shipping address.
I just wanted to rant because it’s really getting to me, I have anxiety and ptsd so I know I’m an easy target for some scummy people but I didn’t expect it from one of my cousins that I confided in. Ive also had a tooth infection followed by an extraction so I haven’t even been able to try to confront him about it yet but the longer I wait the angrier I get.
Thanks for reading, I tried to keep it short so it might get confusing
TL;DR : My second Pokémon go account inadvertently caused my cousin to commit fraud in my name.
AcrobaticSource3: How can your cousin commit fraud? Did he connect your email to you bank account or Amazon account and order stuff? It’s time to take him to court, seriously, this is a crime
Asl4n420: I’m not entirely sure how he did it myself, he essentially managed to purchase expensive electronics with store credit on multiple sites which he then sent to himself to sell again (so I’ve been told). I want to take him to court but I just don’t have the financial capability to pay for it all, I have reported it too but I’m not sure anything will be done about it.
dontstealmypenguin: Speak to a lawyer. They can advise you for free and you can take it from there
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1670905569 | 1670939535 | t3_zkm7ua | t5_2to41 | 737 | Throw_Away5477: TIFU by not wearing a bra
I (F 18) was talking to my (F 45) mom and mid-conversation she asked, “Are you wearing a bra?” I said no and she was taken aback.
For some context, I am a larger chested woman and find bras to be uncomfortable. I often just wear large T-shirts and hoodies that aren’t tight/revealing at all. I’ve never had a problem not wearing a bra and no one around me has found it to be some “ungodly issue” either. Earlier, my mom had noticed I had not been wearing a bra and asked why. Then she proceeded to tell me all the reasons why it’s wrong for a young woman to go out without one saying I am not a man, it’s disrespectful, it’s provocative, and so on and so forth. There is more to this but I’d hardly be able to fit it into one post. We regularly disagree on some of our beliefs and I prefer not to press on anything divisive with her since her patience plummets when challenged, but I was already fed up with having an entire lecture out of nowhere for being comfortable in the house I live in.
I asked her why it is so shameful for a woman to not wear a bra. It isn’t like I was parading around in nothing but plastic wrap for everyone to see what’s beneath. She responded saying, “Because it just is. It’s unlady like!” Then I decided to press further asking what makes it unlady like already knowing where she was probably taking this. I just wanted to be sure my own mother was saying this and I wasn’t jumping to any conclusions. She then accused me of trying to “attract and provoke men”… with what? A baggy ghostbusters T-shirt, sweats, and flip flops? I asked her if that’s the real issue or is it because some men have less self control than that of a predator approaching its prey. She said it’s my fault for provoking them with what I’m not wearing when they have urges and demanded me to put a bra on at once or else there would be consequences.
At this point, I was appalled with this bs. Trying to keep my cool, I asked (hoping I could talk some reason into her) if she had ever heard of the museum exhibit that displayed clothing worn by victims of sexual harassment/abuse and what type of clothing the majority of them were wearing; when she said she didn’t know, I told her they were wearing clothes that would be considered as conservative today. She continued to tell me any woman who does what I’m doing is still wrong and with that I replied saying she wasn’t any better than those who blame a woman’s attire on the vile actions of another person.
Afterwards, she was shocked I was too angry and disgusted to press any further. When she noticed, she tried playing the guilt trip card saying, “Why are you being so rude to me? Do you not like me? I’m your mother.” If my own shelter wasn’t at stake, I would’ve given her an honest answer and then some. She’s said some awful things before, but they still couldn’t have prepared me for that. I feel sick knowing that if I was ever taken advantage of, she’d probably ask if I was wearing a bra to begin with…
Edit 1: Apologies for the sucky formatting. Had to write it off app and copy/paste since Reddit was being buggy.
TL;DR: My mom noticed I wasn’t wearing a bra and said it was my fault if a man was provoked by it.
whats-reddit17: Next time walk up to her with just nipple pastys or some shit. Make her really freak out. You didn't fuck up at all. Your Mom's just being weird and acting older than my grandparents.
Throw_Away5477: I might even show some shoulder. Then I’ll really be unstoppable
Fenix_Volatilis: You harlot! *Shoulder?!* \*scoffs\*
Throw_Away5477: Dare I reveal… ankles? 🫣
UltimateIssue: Whats next? Holding hands in public with your SO outside of marriage?
Throw_Away5477: I’ll take it a step further and air hug them before marriage, too. Can never be too scandalous
UltimateIssue: Preposterous! Where have morals and manners gone? Next thing you know you sit in a nice Café with your SO smile happily at each other and you are still not married.
Throw_Away5477: 
UltimateIssue: *Gasp* Whore!
Throw_Away5477: Only for the ladieth 🫦
UltimateIssue: So it is the women folk you like to bewitch? You foul succubus, does your lust know no boundaries?
Throw_Away5477: I will pursue all thy milfs in the village
UltimateIssue: Demoness do not pursue those who already have bore fruits from their loins and infect their harvest! Never shall you corrupt their seeds! Maria mother of God himself will punish you under the lords watchful eyes. May he have Mercy on your soul.
| 14 | 52.642857 | |
1670907110 | 1670910182 | t3_zkmqwo | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by bullying my fellow doctor into having a nervous breakdown.
[deleted]
PhantomTroupe-2: Obvious bait post
PacnymuH: Yea this exact same post was posted here like three days ago but I guess OP reposted it cause they weren't satisfied with the little attention it got lol
PhantomTroupe-2: Literally a story made to be as aggressive and annoying as possible
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1670907875 | 1670910919 | t3_zkn0ax | t5_2to41 | 65 | bunnynoira: TIFU by buying a lip balm that’s the exact same circumference as my sink drain.
You can probably guess from the title where this is going.
EDIT 1: Photo added in comments!!
EDIT 2: added resolution to TLDR
It all began when my friend asked to come over last minute to help with something, which naturally meant that I needed to panic clean the entire apartment, including doing laundry and cleaning the sink. Since the laundry machine is right next to the sink, I generally use it as a holding area for whatever is sitting on the sink and is in the way of a wipe down. On autopilot, I proceeded with this process, when the laundry machine suddenly entered the spin cycle, subsequently sending the hand cream and soap that I had placed there flying. As I am scrambling to catch these projectiles, I knock an unassuming little lip balm into the sink (already slick with cleaning fluid) where it quickly slides straight into the drain, like Cinderella into the glass slipper. My immediate response is bad: I recalled a Fable from Aesop that I read often as a child, about a clever crow who uses stones to displace water in order to quench it’s thirst. Obviously not relevant to my predicament, but in my frenzied state I decided to run the water, in the hopes that the lip balm would float up out of the drain. Two (main) problems with this idea: one, the drain beneath the lip balm is not stoppered, so any water that slipped past the lip balm would drain away. Two, and perhaps more crucially, the lip balm is blocking the drain, meaning that my rapidly filling sink would overflow, and the weight of the water would probably push the lip balm down even further. I soon realized my mistake, fortunately, and shut off the water to try something else. I walk into the kitchen to grab a chopstick, or perhaps one of the knitting needles I left out, when my very nice little paring knife caught my eye. Sure, wedging out a sudsy, wet lip balm with a wüsthof classic seems like a fantastic use of such an implement!
Unsurprisingly, this does not work, though it does help to move the balm enough to allow some water to drain. This is when it occurred to me that I needed to take photos because once I took it out I absolutely was not going to put it back for a photo, but I needed proof of the trial I had been through.
Finally, I realized that I was lucky enough to have had the plastic lid land face up rather than the glass bottom, and was able to delicately spear it and lift it out. A tremendous relief, and the lip balm will be living elsewhere.
EDIT: Photo added in comments!!
TLDR; when cleaning my sink I discovered that my lip balm fits perfectly in my drain, was able to remove it with silly ingenuity.
Revocation_Of_Doubt: You don't have a trap under the sink? The U bend is removable for this exact reason...
bunnynoira: I might, but I live in Japan (freshly moved) and am very hesitant to start fiddling with parts that may not operate as I expect. Not to mention that the lip balm in question formed a perfect seal, and did not go fully down the drain- just plugged it!
Revocation_Of_Doubt: Fair enough, but it's usually very simple, just two places to unscrew and you can remove the trap for cleaning.
Useful to know.
bunnynoira: Oh absolutely! Should it have come to that I would have investigated further and sought help if necessary- as it stands it worked out relatively quickly, but was silly enough I thought it might give someone a sensible chuckle. But thank you for your concern!
| 5 | 13 | |
1670913249 | 1670921492 | t3_zkordd | t5_2to41 | 32 | MaryPaku: TIFU by throwing something that's valuable
Not exactly today. It was my company's 20th anniversary and we received some gifts. I got a nice bottle and a ... book. I thought okay the bottle is nice, but what's this book? I didn't care too much about that. I also didn't ask anyone because we're still in remote work I have no one to talk to, was not feeling the need to ask for a strange book in the company's group chat.
Today it turns out it's a gift catalogue and I was supposed to pick anything inside and tell them what I want, and it's worth like $500 smth but I've lost it.
I've been living paycheck to paycheck since some years ago, and the stuff inside looks really luxurious to me I took a small peak and I've never imagined I could afford those so I didn't look much and thought it was too good to be true. I was so dumb ): I guess this tough life has made me lose the power of imagination.
TL;DR ; I intuitively think something nice as this will not happen to me for whatever reason and missed it.
TwoManyHorn2: If it's a catalog, there's probably an online version these days if you can find out from someone what it is.
MaryPaku: It has a special code inside to identify me.
SgathTriallair: Reach out to HR and they will most likely hook you up. It's a ones time code so they know if you used it or not.
| 4 | 8 | |
1670918096 | 1670935273 | t3_zkq501 | t5_2to41 | 5 | RemoteBlackOut: TIFU by watching Rick and Morty with my parents
Before anyone says they shouldn't be telling me not to watch this shit cuz I'm at the normal age too, yes I know, I feel the exact same way, but try telling my strict ass parents that.
So I just want to say that my parents aren't completely fluent in English so that's why whenever I want to watch a show or movie or something with them, I look for the dub and I usually find it and we just watch it together, like any other normal family would. However, it's not just any normal dub...since it's the Persian dub. What I mean by that is that in case somehow anyone doesn't already know, Iran's government/ruling/laws are absolutely fucking bullshit to the point where it's laughable. My point is that the dubs are completely censored, meaning that any sex, nudity, or kissing scenes are completely removed and cut out from the dub. However, this is kind of a good thing for me since my parents won't let me watch stuff that has that shit in it (even though I'm literally 16), cuz it means that I can watch a lot of stuff without having to have a shit ton of tension of if they're going to "catch me or not".
For some reason, today I decided that it would be a good idea to search it up and see if they also have a dub for Rick and Morty, which to my surprise they did. It was the pilot. I checked the episode to see if it was censored (just in case...) and well, yup it was, like it should have. For example, it cut out the part where Morty was squeezing Jessica's tits.
Anyway, I said to my dad, "Let's watch it together", cuz I thought it would be fun since he could fully understand it, and it was censored and I just thought he would like it. However, it got up to one point in the episode where Rick told Morty to take these seeds, go to the bathroom, and stick them all the way up your ass (which was dubbed as "stick them all the way up where they shouldn't go) and I couldn't believe it cuz they would have 100% removed that, or altered the dialogue, which somehow they didn't. And I just sat there shocked as fuck and feeling awkward and pressured as hell. And I just thought I could let it slip by without him really caring and then I looked over...and he was looking at me with a weird expression. And to make it even worse, I realized that my mom was also fucking sitting there too and it was all just silent. Then they started saying like why tf they would put something like that in an "animated show" and I was like well it's mature animation so it has some crude jokes in it and they went on with some bullshit like "you can't just watch stuff with any extent of shit just cuz it's funny" and I just didn't know wtf to say.
Long story short, we ended up finishing the episode and I just went to bed after. The next morning when I got up, I was just sitting on the couch, trying to get the sleep out of my eyes until I heard my parents talking about how that show is a bad influence on me and how fucked up it's making me. Which is stupid cuz bro I'm not 8 anymore. And then they said that I can't watch it anymore. Well that fucking sucks because when I first started watching the show, I would just completely sneak it cuz I was too scared of getting caught, but then slowly, I began to just watch it on my room TV, and would just know about any "sex scenes" beforehand so I would know when to skip it if anyone walked in. Now I have to go back to fucking sneaking it. And to make matters even worse, I'm very scared and horrified now that if I'm ever watching another adult animation in my room, they'll get suspicious and start questioning me about it or just actually ask to watch it together so they can meddle their nose into my business when I'm just trying to watch a show. I get so much tension.
If you're still here, I humbly thank you for reading it till the end of the post here. I just wanted to say that if you have strict parents, no matter how strict, never let them too in on what you do or what your "me time" is for. For example in this case, what shows you like to watch, because if they're strict, they will fucking hunt you down, man. And if any parent is reading this, strict or not, please do not do what my parents did...instead, be understanding and try to understand and feel that they are getting older and would obviously be watching shows that are meant for an older audience. Seriously, don't do parenting like they did, because guess what? They make me have a TV-PG rating on my Netflix profile still, not even PG-13, but fucking PG, despite the fact that I'm 16 goddamn years old for crying out loud. I still go and change it whenever I want to watch something, but I never feel at ease and am never comfortable, cuz I feel like a fugitive with how they're parenting. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that they make me have that rating, they treat me like an idiotic kid.
I hope you got some insight on what it's like to be a teen with strict parents or just what my idiotic experience was. Thank you for taking time out of your day to read this.
&#x200B;
TL;DR: I made the mistake of watching the dub of Rick and Morty with my parents because I thought they would censor out the crude humor, but they didn't. Now I got "exposed" and watch my shows with the tension of them sneaking into my shit and finding out about the "crude and vulgar" humor of adult animation shows.
TheEnglishNerd: Well you will be an adult very soon so you won’t have to wait too long. Show went downhill after season 3 anyways
shardingHarding: It totally did go downhill after S3 but there are still some gem episodes in S4 and S5.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1670920117 | 1670977695 | t3_zkqoyf | t5_2to41 | 14,616 | [deleted]: TIFU by blowing all my savings going to Italy
[deleted]
Mindless-Sherbert-18: Hey you're in Italy! Take some pics. Go find the touristy places n snap pics. I once blew 11k of my local currency to do a Europe contiki. I too was miserable for the first two weeks. Crying. And calling home.. but then I got over it and now ten years later I'm glad I did it. Money can always be earned. This moment of yours... is forever etched in your psyche. Even if it's to go get a cheap.ice cream at a touristy square, do it. Btw I was left behind at PISA. Fucking scary.
aliteralbuttload: My friend ditched me in Rome for her boyfriend who decided to tag along last minute when she was originally taking me away for my birthday. I was absolutely devastated. For about an hour until I decided to make the most of it and just grab an all weekend tour bus ticket.
That was the best holiday I ever had, being able to see the sights, hop on and off as I liked, walking into an espresso bar and then accidentally ending up in a tour group and strolling round the Vatican! Some of the most fun I've ever had and makes me want to travel solo more.
jam-and-marscapone: Man... that friend. I am always surprised when I hear what people do to their friends.
Vatican was awesome. I really loved the remains of the Roman Forum too and it led me to some reading about the history and reflecting later about that period and visualising the scenes. I will absolutely go back someday.
huggles7: Bro my brother did this to me
Went through a tough break up, decided to take myself on a trip, my brother lived a state over and we didn’t see each other much, he asked if he could tag along I said sure
One day into the trip his girlfriend said she missed him, so he bought a last minute plane ticket and flew back home
bearbarebere: That’s fucked.
huggles7: And the best part was that he lied to my parents and made it seem like it was my fault he left
They believed this for several months
rotating_pebble: Man I hope you gave him a talking to, never fuck over your family especially not for some girl he'll probably be done with in a year.
huggles7: They’re actually married and have their first kid celebrating their second birthday in may
There was many much screaming in the car when I drove him to the airport but things have improved since then
rotating_pebble: Damn lol, wasn't expecting that. Congrats to them! Although I've now got an image of you bringing this thing up in a drunk wedding speech.
huggles7: They got married in a destination wedding, there was no wedding party because they don’t have friends, I was basically a spectator
No speeches were allowed however her brother/uncle (no that’s not a typo) was allowed to randomly stop the music and sing a song because he’s apparently on YouTube
There was 13 people total at the wedding, her immediate family, her bruncle, my parents, and 4 cousins
I paid for my own airfare and hotel stay, it was not cheap, they got married in santorini (no one is Greek or has any ties to that island or area at all)
I could go on hahahah
katf1sh: Wait, who has to fuck who to produce a brother uncle? Trying to figure out the logistics of that is hurting my stupid brain 😖
One of her parents fucked one of her grandparents? I think?
huggles7: It’s not as Alabama as you think but just as dumb
I never met the person before said wedding, however I was told dozens and dozens of time during the lead up her brother was going to attend the wedding
Turns out it’s not her brother it’s actually her uncle, they’re similar in age and have been close so she just refers to him as her brother
Hence bruncle
She doesn’t have an actual brother
katf1sh: That first sentence was so accurate once you explained it lmao It’s still pretty wtf, but butter than incest!
huggles7: Their relationship (though successful and much much better now) is just a roller coaster of crazy shit I could write a book and no one would believe it
But everyone’s happy now so everyone’s happy!
| 15 | 974.4 | |
1670920099 | 1670959360 | t3_zkqosq | t5_2to41 | 61 | DedicatedToLinda: TIFU talking to my boss while intoxicated
[removed]
remotetissuepaper: Eh if the producer didn't want people laughing at his baby's name he shouldn't have named it Linda. Unless she's named after his dead mom or grandma or something in which case you really fucked up
WhiteK1t: seriously?
remotetissuepaper: No to the first bit, yes to the second bit
Gnostromo: I just want to say I understood you were joking
Reddit is full of people with sticks up their butts
| 5 | 12.2 | |
1670925407 | 1670937441 | t3_zks0kd | t5_2to41 | 605 | peachpie_888: TIFU by being too honest after too many martinis
Last night I drank too much with my friends. It was a happy drunk vibe. Late in the evening the guy I’m seeing texted me. Good Lord I wish he hadn’t because I would have never said what I said. Why couldn’t he wait to text me in the morning or better yet why couldn’t I simply not text what I texted.
Not one, not three, but circa 20 well crafted texts about how much I like him. Meticulously worded and spell checked by an individual with the balancing ability of a bouncy castle, professing how this may make things more complicated but I have to say it because I wish I could go home with him every night.
Ground open and swallow me up.
When I first opened my eyes this morning the sheer dread that took over me could have cleared a small nation. I am embarrassed, I am hungover and by the end of the day I may be extremely single.
I did mean everything I said, the problem is that either this will push him away or make us stronger. I just feel like there may have been a better time and place and delivery 🙂
He hasn’t replied yet (it’s 9am on a Tuesday no less!) and I remain mortified beyond belief but eagerly awaiting the unknown.
**UPDATE (1pm):** He just responded saying my messages are the cutest and asking me how my night was. For context we have been open with our feelings in the past so it wasn’t the first time I told him how I feel, it was the first time I drunkenly word vomited it and thought it would be too much. Clearly my drunk crazy is not enough to scare this man away. Thank you everyone for your support today and some very entertaining comments. It would appear this saga is over but I will not be touching a drink for a while.
**BONUS UPDATE:** I admitted that I was mortified that I’d sent all that and he said “you never need to be mortified they were amazing messages” so now I’m just counting my blessings and feeling grateful for this man. A patient angel lmao. I have not read the messages today and quite frankly I don’t want to know.
**FINAL END OF DAY UPDATE:** Firstly, thank you everyone for the nice, funny and loving comments. I needed a place to vent and I feel like I accidentally got a whole support team. I’m loving reading the comments and some of your stories so THANK YOU ❤️ I really kind of cannot believe how this turned out and honestly I’m just feeling very grateful and also a bit uncomfortable because I’m not necessarily used to dating men who basically aren’t shit. So it’s been a weird day but an eye opener. I’m about to go to sleep but I slipped in another brief “I’m sorry” into my goodnight text to him and he told me I’m being silly and that I’m perfect (I’ll get him to see someone about his delusions asap) and those texts meant a lot to him. Good people are out there so I guess all I can say is the next time you drunk text your friend, partner, stranger, spouse, whoever, lead your hangover with hope and you never know - someone out there appreciates your inebriated rant and feels loved. I’ll still read any comments posted. Sending positivity to you all 🤗
TL;DR: got drunk and sent my crush an essay about how much I like him. Now dying of shame.
BADoVLAD: You didn't FU...you can't live life from the sidelines
peachpie_888: Ideally I also wouldn’t live like I’m in a Shakespearean drama 🥹
BADoVLAD: Eh, the old adage you miss 100% of the shots you don't take is true tho...being open with feelings shouldn't be considered a FU
AzureDreamer: Making life changing proclomations shouldn't be done while drunk either.
BADoVLAD: Drunk mouth says what a sober mouth is afraid to say...or something. She told her crush she had feelings for him, she didn't propose or offer to get pregnant.
peachpie_888: This. I told him what I would have been too afraid to say sober because we’ve had conversations about how our paces in this are different. The proclamation was effectively me going this is how I feel and I’m willing to risk it all to tell you that. Definitely did not proclaim love or request pregnancy. Thankfully.
AzureDreamer: Saving that for next time?
peachpie_888: Absolutely.
| 9 | 67.222222 | |
1670927142 | 1670933795 | t3_zksg44 | t5_2to41 | 12 | heFUCKishappening: TIFU from hotel rooms to butts n sluts
TIFU because recently living one month in a hotel in woodstock IL. been trying to stay clean but hey what else is there to do that long at a hotel and not work there. fastforward couple weeks and get to know the staff. like REALLy know these staff, i mean im around them all day. last tuesday we were hanging out, and i end up crashing early. wake up, naked in a piss covered sheet, room trashed. ive polished a handle a day at that point and i have NEVER completely missed an extra 4 days. i check my phone and theres garbled messages from here and there throuhgout the days.
fast forward to yesterday, staff asks if i can do him a favor and come with him to pick up a friend, i say sure. pick up friend.. then all in the car start talking about an "it" and how theres a few videos clips they were sendingout to the world over email. drives. how they've plugged up all its holes and then gets some hot piss. how it wont be done til its bleeding all over the bed sheet... the most viles things you can say to do another person. except tto them its an it. so i guessed tag im it. they try to goad me, get mad, scream, to instead i shut up.. made the drive difficult for everyone else is so i get cocky and tell the person that asked me to come that out of all the dicks ive ever met in my life his was the smallest (true) i mean hey im going to die right (nah) so i pull out my phone and keep calling 911 HOPING each time i cal they can hear whats going to happen to me. it. then they say theyre about to get to the place so i think fuck it and start screaming into my phone IVE BEEN KIDDNAPPED HELP... they didnt like that so change of plan they take me back to the hotel and im so ready to see those red and blues... til i hear everyone make bets on if they believe me... see a cruiser, fly out the car into that, and immediately my heart sinks because theyre right. no one will believe this.
any advice???
TL:DR was drugged for over a week by hotel staff to make smutt films and be pimped out
GregoryGregory666666: The imagination is running wild with this one.
heFUCKishappening: 100 percent serious
GregoryGregory666666: LOL. But of course it is hefuckishappening.
heFUCKishappening: would you like to talke about rape on your main page?
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1670929322 | 1671001161 | t3_zkt08r | t5_2to41 | 12 | MopoFett: TIFU by giving myself chemical poisoning.
TIFU by giving myself chemical poisoning, I think it was chlorine.
So I went on a huge mission to clean the bathroom ready for Christmas for the family to be over and there was a few spots of mould that needed seeing to so I pull out this mould spray an I am not shy with it, the place looks amazing, squeaky clean so I figured I'd enjoy my handy work an have a shower.
This is where I fucked up, the heat from the water vaporised the bleach an I was oblivious to it. I now ache all over, headaches that don't go away and I am now going to seek some medical help, when nurses are on strike an I had this week booked off to get everything in order for Christmas.
FML!
The bleach in question was HG Mould Spray.
Tldr: I vaporised bleach an poisoned myself in the shower.
therealmrsfahrenheit: holy shitt how are you doing now darling?😶 What did the doctors say?
MopoFett: I was gonna go to the hospital but decided to go to a pharmacy first as it is recommended to help ease NHS services, they gave me pain killers an antibiotics an told me to rest, drink lots of water an ride it out as if I went to the hospital I'd be waiting about 8hrs for the same advice.
Yesterday was pain, all my joints ached, my eyes wouldn't stop watering an the headaches were terrible. Today is a bit better, I can get up an move around but the headaches are still here, I think another day should do it an I'll be functional member of society again.
| 3 | 4 | |
1670932691 | 1670933414 | t3_zktyzu | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking through my sisters phone
[deleted]
twotall88: Imagine looking through your sisters phone hoping for nudes :\\
Severe-Article9657: Not that 😭😭😭😭
| 3 | 1 | |
1670935548 | 1670936085 | t3_zku87v | t5_2to41 | 6 | Dry-Ice25: No it's not
3pbc: Do you have planned parenthood or something similar in your country?
Dry-Ice25: No we don't have that
| 3 | 2 | |
1670937414 | 1670985129 | t3_zkvj40 | t5_2to41 | 29 | throwaway2x210: TIFU being a horny idiot.
Literally happened a few hours ago. Throwaway for safety.
So, some background. I'm single, living by myself in a newer area and I don't really know anyone.
I have been using dating apps on an attempt to meet people/date and it hasn't been going too well. A lot of women post their insta handle on their profile, and I normally don't care, but she was cute. So I go to Instagram and follow (fuckup #1 as it was a private acct). She accepts, we chat and then switch to Snapchat (fuckup #2). Conversation turns a little risque, and we start exchanging photos (#3). Should we send photos, same girl in each photo with a different pose. (And not photos when you attach them, but when you actually send the snap). So I wasn't really paying attention.
Then it hits.
They drop the bomb, they've been somehow taking screenshots without me knowing of our conversation and photos. Then they start telling me I need to send money.
Being an idiot and desperate... I did. (#4 for everyone counting)
So now, I'm out money. I'm still horny, and I'm just a lonely fucking idiot.
Moral of the story is, don't send dirty chats or photos to people unless you really know them. And even then it's a crapshoot.
TLDR: Got horny, wound up sending explicit photo, paid scammer. Am an idiot
FullMoonDemon: If I had a penny for every time this near-exact thing is posted on TIFU, I'd have.. several pennies. Which sadly isn't enough to cover y'alls fuckups 😔
Bbbuffalo: It’s fucked up that it works, guys are so stupid. Myself included lol
| 3 | 9.666667 | |
1670940774 | 1670950097 | t3_zkwq29 | t5_2to41 | 6 | jayjaythrowaway1092: TIFU by hitting a bong
Obligatory this didn't happen today
Last Thursday a girl who I'd previously matched with on Hinge messaged me on Instagram, for a little history, we'd spoken on Instagram before she randomly blocked me. I told her it was pretty lame that she blocked me so unless she's dtf I'm not interested.
"I'm dtf"
I haven't really hooked up outside of a club so it was kinda exciting, she started sending nudes and asking me to head to hers, so I knew it was serious - I start talking big, telling her what I'm gonna do and she's telling me what she likes. She tells me she hasn't been with a guy in over 2 years, I asked her why.
"I'm a lesbian"
I didn't expect that at all but I couldn't be bothered to question it either.
I get myself ready and get a cab over there, I go in to her apartment and we're just talking quite casually, I ask about why she unblocked me and she said that her and her gf had decided to go open but only for men, and only sexually, but the first time we were talking, her gf got cold feet and so she blocked/unmatched everyone. Then we get to smoking. I haven't had a bong hit in years, I'd just been smoking blunts, and when I hit this bong I did it the only way I remembered - took the drop pipe out and sucked up every ounce of smoke that was in it.
It takes about 5 minutes to hit, but by that point I can barely keep track of what she's saying to me anymore, she's showing me her art and I'm trying my absolute best to keep a conversation going but I feel like a mess, I asked where her toilet is, stumble over to her bedroom door and try to open it on the wrong side first of all before I finally get to the toilet. Then it hits, my ears start ringing, my vision is blurring, I'm stumbling in to tables and walls, and I just stand there for a minute. Please, please, stop. Anxiety hits, and it lasts the whole night, about 3 hours. We end up just watching a movie and for the most part, her talking while I listen. I kept trying to imagine what we could be doing to get me in the mood, but we were watching fucking Pearl, a fairly gruesome slasher horror movie which just made me feel weird, then I got a cab home. She unfollowed me on insta, and now I'm probably a just a funny story for her gf and their friends.
TL;DR
Almost hooked up with a lesbian but got so astronomically high my senses weren't even working properly, watched a movie and went home.
Zeta_Mythoclast63: Thanks for the funny story. I am less sad now.
PlasticWais_T: It's weird, but I feel a contagious feeling of failure from the post. I now feel like "damn bro, I'm with you. Better luck next time /:"
| 3 | 2 | |
1670942240 | 1670984329 | t3_zkx9s3 | t5_2to41 | -15 | throwaway369248157: TIFU by JOKINGLY suggesting my wife bleach her skin
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CE3K: OP you're obviously distraught over this. The people downvoting you, and the people you're getting advice from probably aren't even married and are hardly qualified to be giving any relationship advice. Get counseling from a qualified individual. I will say this, you obviously unconsciously made a off handed racist comment and need to own that. Don't make excuses, make an effort to change and demonstrate you are aware of why what you said was wrong. Tell your wife that you understand what you said was wrong and that you're going to seek out a therapist who can help. Explain the situation to a qualified individual, not to chads online.
If you're put off by the idea of a therapist, understand that even incredibly successful individuals whose houses are in great order seek out therapy.
Prestigious-bish-17: Are you saying she should stay with this person who doesnt even realise that what he has done and is doing is wrong? He should go to therapy and then what? What next? She should forgive his nonsense and stay with him because marriage?? Just because he apologises and makes changes, will not change the fact that his wife is the most hurt here, and I'm sure she just wants to leave his ass, she is the one who is hurt, and if she wants to leave, no matter what OP does, she has every right to leave. He fumbled this up. And she should leave. Someone who makes jokes of your abuse and trauma doesnt deserve to be forgiven for it, especially when they defend their nonsense.
CE3K: Another chad with a hot take. Tell me, where did you get your expert take from, other than your ass?
Prestigious-bish-17: Wow. I disagree with your point and you immediately go straight to insults?? You have no respect for anyone, and you are being absolutely disgusting and embarrassing.
It doesn't take much to be a decent human being, and from your comment right now, you clearly lack in every aspect.
Every person with common sense, and basic human decency can tell that his guy really doesn't care about his wife's feelings and her general wellbeing, he has hurt her in a way that is unforgivable, and betrayed her in a painful way, that is, belittling her and joking on her trauma. It doesn't take an expert to see that she deserves better and for her own sake needs to leave this man. The guy, from his replies still doesn't see what he has done as wrong and still wants her to understand his joke and be a "good sport". If you weren't so far up your own ass, you'd see it, but I guess you're stuck up there.
CE3K: Dude, I don't give a fuck. You can't even address the basic point of my comment to the OP it seems. I fail to see how suggesting that OP should seek therapy and not take advice from unqualified randoms online is debatable. I will ask you again, what are your motherfucking qualifications to say anything on the matter? Are you saying he shouldn't seek therapy and there's no solution? Great advice. Hot take bud. Yeah yknow what, just give up OP you're a horrible person you fucked up blah blah blah. We should witch hunt OP and make sure he knows what a loser he is too. Insert another stupid fuck reddit take.
Prestigious-bish-17: How sure are you that all the people here are unqualified randos, in fact that is the point of this sub, people have problems, they fucked up, so they ask randos on the Internet for help, and people deliver. Most of the "witch hunts" you're referring to is people who have politely tried to explain to OP that he was wrong and that his wife isn't his property, and she has every right to leave, and OP still tries to act like his wife is in the wrong.
No one wears their qualifications on reddit. Your entire take that everyone's opinions here are just unqualified "chads" and unqualified "Chads" are most definitely wrong,in itself defeats the purpose of this sub and what people are doing here.
If you don't want randos giving advice, you know because you don't need qualifications to be a decent human being, then please leave the sub. If it triggers you so much, you aren't supposed to be here. People come here for this, not to be told to go see a therapist or ignore everyone here and dismiss the reason they came here in the first place.
CE3K: LOL So where did you get your expert take from?
| 8 | -1.875 | |
1670943196 | 1670944291 | t3_zkxn31 | t5_2to41 | 18 | haylieb_artist: tifu by telling my dad my mom complains
(f17) have had a lot going on recently. For example, i work 5 days a week and try my best to keep ontop of school work, though i will admit, I've been slacking.
Yesterday, my mom (f40) came up to me and said that since dad (m40) didn't have a relationship with almost all of his 5 kids, we are not having Christmas. She kept talking about how nobody's staying the night and we aren't doing all of this for ungrateful assholes, etc etc. This was a big deal since my mom is usually really jolly. But, they didn't want to stress Christmas this year.
My brother had put up the tree and did a shit job, so i fixed it and asked my dad to take mom to work with him tomorrow. He was resistant and asked why and i said that she's been complaining and it'll be hard to clean and decorate properly with her here. There was a lot more said, and he thinks im being a brat for wanting to take over Christmas this year.
Well, now neither of them are talking to me. Im being shelled out by my parents, and i screwed over mine and my mom's relationship. If they really mean they dont want to do the holidays this year, it means im not buying the plane ticket for my bf to come spend it with us. It also means that mine and my moms relationship is so fucked, i wont be hanging out with her on her birthday.
Honestly, im looking into saving for movers and leaving on my birthday next month because this is petty shit i cannot handle. Ffs, im 17 and work a shit ton, im sorry that im trying to give you a stress free holiday.
TL;DR
I had a fight with my parents about Christmas and now i dont have a relationship with either
Shirvana: I don't think it's your fault. It sounds like there's a lot of drama. Your parents aren't thinking about you or the others only themselves and that's selfish. If your dad doesn't get along with any of you or your siblings, it's not fair to you or the others to cancel Christmas. He needs to work on that. How many siblings do you have? The parents should listen to you when you want to talk about it. Can you stay at a relatives and tell them what's going on? You work hard and being responsible you deserve to be able to celebrate the holidays.
haylieb_artist: I have 4 siblings, 2 of which are low contact due to issues with them. I could stay with my grandparents but they're in another state and i work. While i do jave other relatives near me, they're very entitled and grew up to marry rich men instead men they actually like.
Big family, lots of issues.
| 3 | 6 | |
1670941754 | 1670970030 | t3_zkx38k | t5_2to41 | 1,650 | jesseberdinka: TIFU by telling my young daughter that she had a feral sister who lived in a cage in the attic.
Obligatory this happened a few years ago.
My wife travels a lot which means that when my daughter was about 6 or 7 the two of us would have lots of nights together where we would play games or read before bedtime. One time we were sitting on her bed before sleep and about halfway through a book when I closed it and said to her:
"We really love you. I'm so happy it worked out with you. Not like the OTHER one."
She looked at me, "What do you mean?"
"Well", I said, "Parenting is hard and you don't get much practice so sometimes you make mistakes. Take your sister for instance. Before you we had a young girl and welllll, it just didn't work out. We were young and didn't know what we were doing and it did NOT go well."
My daughter just looks at me and asks, "What happened to her?"
"Well, we didn't really know what to do with her so we just locked her in a cage in the attic and started over and lucky we did because that's how we got YOU!" I then opened up the book and started reading as if I hadn't just dropped a bombshell on her.
Now of course my daughter had lots of questions and I just improved facts about her sister, "Maggie" that lives in the attic:
* She can't speak English, but kind of grunts and sings like that Jodie Foster movie Nell.
* She is violent and we have to slide her food to her with a stick.
* We've become worried lately about some of her "drawings".
You know, fun stuff like that. My daughter knows I'm full of bullshit so she doesn't believe it, but kind of wants to y'know? So we come up with lots of cool stories about her sister who lives in the attic. Sometimes when we read I would stop and look at the ceiling and go "Shhhhh! Did you hear that? probably nothing." before going back to the book.
One time she asked what she should do if she ever got out. Now the thing I didn't tell you is that the door to the attic? IT'S IN MY DAUGHTER'S ROOM. LOL.
"Well, I said, If she ever gets out, just lie still under your covers. She's not mad at you, she's mad at Mommy and Daddy."
So a few weeks later I am working as a lunchroom monitor at her school. This is a volunteer thing you do a few times a month where you walk around the lunch room and help little kids open their milk and stuff. My daughter is at a table with her friends and they call me over. One of the girls, Coleen, asks me straight up, "Molly says she has a sister who lives in a cage in the attic. Is this true?
Now here is where I F'd up. What I SHOULD have said was, "No. That's just a story we made up."
What I SAID was "I dunnooooo!" while smiling and shrugging indicating that maybe there is, maybe there isn't a kid being held, hostage.
Didn't think about it.
Few days later I come in from walking the dog and my wife tells me the principal wants me to call her. Oh crap. I know what this is about. My wife is like, "Oh she probably wants to talk to you about the ice cream fundraiser!" I'm thinking to myself that no, she does not want me to talk to her about the ice cream fundraiser. lol.
So I call and she says something to the effect of, "Hi, first, thank you for your help with the ice cream social. So, one of our student's parents called and said that she is worried because, oh this is silly I know, that you are keeping one of your kids in a cage in an attic? That's not true is it?"
So, now I have to go and explain in detail the whole story which sounds like I"m a psychopath and the worst parent ever. She was very good about it and understanding and we nervously laughed it off. The worst part of this was that the girl who said something to her mom was a young girl whose mom had been to our house and who we had driven places etc. She knew us well and could have just called instead of calling the principal.
The outcome was a good one. We've since become very good friends with the principal and her husband. We celebrate our second daughter's birthday every year on May 10th and we even sign cards from her to people when we send things from the family.
TL;DR I almost had child services all up in my grill because a story I told my daughter about an imaginary sister triggered a call from the school principal after another student told their mom.
Tinuviel52: Wasn’t this a simpsons treehouse of horrors episode where Bart has an evil twin but it turned out he was the evil one and they’d locked up the wrong kid
decidedlyindecisive: In a less fun turn of events, it's also what quite a few abusive parents do to their kids. Off the top of my head, Fred and Rose West had cages for their kids, and so did the authors David and Leigh Edddings.
Tinuviel52: Yep and the wests killed one of their daughters and joked about her being buried under the paving stones im pretty sure
decidedlyindecisive: Yeah they did. Reading about their torture methods and victims took an emotional toll on me. What they did is literally beyond my comprehension.
| 5 | 330 | |
1670944434 | 1671037928 | t3_zky41c | t5_2to41 | 8 | AsgardianLeo: TIFU By leaving my wife outside in the rain for half an hour.
First of all, context;
We're moving homes, last weekend me and our roommate moved most of the big/heavy stuff over with the help of a van service we hired. Our old home still has a ton of small stuff we need to pack into boxes and bring over, plus all of the painting and repairs that need to be done before handing the keys over.
I work from home, and we have 6 pets (3 dogs, 3 cats), and I had recently asked for some vacation days before we found this new place, so asking for more days to help with this was out of the question. Therefore it was quickly decided that I would stay in the new apartment looking after the pets during the day while she and our 2 roommates did as much as they could in that time. When my shift was over I would go there an help however I can.
Today is the 2nd to last day before we're scheduled to hand over the keys to the old place, so stress levels are, as to be expected, really high.
I lost track of time while working and ended up making lunch later than usual (around 2pm) and in my eternal wisdom, accidentally forgot my phone in the kitchen. Now, I have to mention that I have ADHD, not as an attempt to excuse me leaving the phone in the kitchen, but to try to explain why the idea of staying alert for communications from her while I still had 3 hours left in my shift didn't even cross my mind.
About 1.5hrs later, I start to hear the dogs going nuts in the living room, so I head out to check, that's when I finally hear the doorbell and open the door (I work with headphones on because without it I find it really hard to concentrate on my work). Wifey had been blasting my phone and the doorbell for the past 30 minutes, in the rain, and I didn't hear a single beep. Turns out she decided to bring some boxes over early as well as pick up a couple of things she needed that were already here.
I feel **terrible.** As soon as I heard the doorbell I knew I had fucked up, all I could do was look down and keep shut while she vented on me, left the things she brought over, and stormed off back to our old place. I knew I should have been more wary of the phone and doorbell, I knew I should have made sure to keep my phone on me at all times and I didn't.
Now I'm here, sitting in from of my computer, alone with my guilt, not even able to think of the work I should be doing right now, just waiting for 5pm to roll by so I can go and at least *try* to make up for this. I can't express in words how horrible I feel right now.
***TLDR; I left my phone in the kitchen and didn't hear the doorbell while my wife was trying to reach me from outside our home, in the rain, for more than 30 minutes.***
Critical-Echo-923: man !, just tell her you fucked up and how terrible u feel about it, add that being exhausted is no excuse, and do something nice for her
ps: did you lift her up when crossing in the new house ?
AsgardianLeo: I did tell her that, but that's for the advice anyways.
as for your question, this isn't our first place moving in together, and due to our conflicting schedules she visited the new place days before I first stepped into it.
I *DID* do this when we got married and moved to our first place together
Critical-Echo-923: doit for every place, regardless
| 4 | 2 | |
1670946662 | 1670948335 | t3_zkyx6g | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my boss about my pickle addiction.
[deleted]
panbert: Is this the same OP who a few minutes ago wrote that he hated pickles?
Farfocele: yes.
| 3 | 3 | |
1670950984 | 1670955424 | t3_zl0pk1 | t5_2to41 | 14 | adoringyousm: TIFU by looking through my s/o followings
So for context, me (23f) and my s/o (25m) have been dating for over 3 years now. When we first started dating, I was seriously not in his league. I was not the prettiest girl, or confident, or out-there go-getter. I was literally a nobody despite having eyes on him for so many years. But one fateful day, he happened to see me and a relationship grew from that coincidence. He's literally my first in everything. And as you date, you begin to wonder all about the "what ifs" and "what does he like". Surprise, surprise, I was nothing like his ideals.
He liked slim thick girls who took care of their appearances. He liked strong muscular girls who has an ass and defined legs. He liked mature ones who would understand his philosophy in life- who would hear him out- and I was exactly the total opposite of everything he wanted. But of course like a good boyfriend, he told me, I turned out who his ideal girl was. Everything about me was what he fell in love with. My stubby chubby body that gained weight over the years, my innocence, my chaoticness, our values. My god damn face, for that matter! So I took his word for it. He "liked girls like me now". He's even confided with me that "no girls can get his attention like mines". So I trusted him. I took his word for it.
Well yesterday, I was missing him so I was scrolling through his social media. While going around, I realized I've never looked at who he followed in the three years we've dated. So being a little curious, I went to go look around. To my surprise, most of the people he followed were the pretty girls. The pretty and slim thick females he liked so much. The pretty girls who would post thirst traps and flaunt their amazingly gifted bodies. They were everything he liked. Right there on his page. Being themselves, being amazing, existing. Tons of them! And now I'm left with myself feeling devastated at my own insecurities. I'm battling with my inner demons, feeling ugly and foolish for taking his words to heart. I want to believe that he's just human and he still has his wants, but it still really hurts knowing that his eyes still looks elsewhere.
Tldr- I looked at who my s/o followed and now I'm insecure and doubtful of everything.
TheyCallMeGilly: This seems on par for literally every relationship, men follow hot women on socials, you can’t take it as him cheating, or him being dishonest. It’s him literally watching out for your interests so you don’t get upset at what quite literally every man does. You kind of went out of your way and found a way to get hurt. I suppose the question is, would you rather have him rag on you about not being one of these “ideal” women, or are you going to take his gestures and opinions of you and toss them out simply because of who he follows on social media?
adoringyousm: Yes, I'm aware now that I shouldn't have done smth that could hurt me. But I wasn't aware then. To my naivety, I thought all was well and didn't realize how naive and fragile I was- my statement that he could see others bc I thought I was secure in my relationship. That I was secure in his love and affirmations for me. But I fooled myself. Quadruple whammy for clearly stating smth I didn't know, for being so insecure, for being foolish, for hurting myself in the process. I took it too lighthearted when I should've known better that he is human and he has his needs. He should have everything he wants and i should've known I wouldn't be able to fulfill everything.
But to answer your question, it's difficult for me to weigh in either options bc I should meet his expectations. That's what you do in a relationship. But I also feel so disgusted about myself too bc he's seen me naked and during our most intimate. I've struggled with accepting my body my whole life so to let someone in on it, its very vunerable. To trust that they do value my body and it is beautiful to them. I really want to toss out every good opinion of his because of my narrative. It proves that my narrative is correct, that I'm awful looking and disgusting. But if I were to throw it away too, that would mean I would be throwing away the trust I've built with him, which I'm too afraid to do.
TheyCallMeGilly: Woah, ok, you don’t need to meet anyone’s expectations, it seems like your boyfriend does care about you because he’s never trying to force you to do stuff that will make you uncomfortable. You need to be happy and content with yourself before you start working towards his “expectations” but at the same point, if he’s telling you all of these reasons he loves you, I’m pretty sure he means it and I don’t think he necessarily wants you to change. If you’re feeling that way, it kind of seems that it’s just that, you feel that way.
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1670950692 | 1670954770 | t3_zl0knq | t5_2to41 | 15 | Marche90: TIFU by trusting an stranger on Facebook Marketplace
This just happened two days ago
I (M32) was doing my accounting with regards to this month’s payments and realized that, while thanks to some end-of-year bonuses I’ll be able to pay mostly everything, I’m going to end up short with regards to next month’s payments, so I decided to sell something in order to have a cushion; in the end the only realistic choices I had came to a 2011 iMac, which has a few customizations like a new gpu and a faster cpu, and an Xbox one s. Since I use the iMac quite a bit, and I’ll be honest, the customizations sadly introduced some jank for the end-user, I ended up selecting the Xbox and put it on sale on Facebook Marketplace (!)
At this point I forgot to mention that that day I had a slight fever, because I ended up with a cold somehow
Anyway, a women (I suppose, because at this point I doubt everything about this) contacted me and told me that her husband was willing to pay the amount I was asking (around $250 USD, or $5000 in MXN). I sent her my number and after a while he calls me. He says that he wants to meet me today and we selected a location. After reaching the place at the designated time I end up waiting for quite a bit and I was not feeling well. He ends up calling me after half an Hour telling me that he had an issue with work and that he couldn’t get out, so he was going to send someone (!!). Since I thought “well, money transfers are quick so I can back out of this”. I agree so that I could go home faster and rest.
After the guy came for the device I ask for the transfer and the guy supposedly did it. Since it was a bank that I had no familiarity with (I knew which one, but since it’s for military personnel use only I had never seen receipts or anything about it) I thought ”well, let me check on my bank”. I enter my bank app and saw nothing but then I remembered that sometimes this bank takes some time to receive transfers, not to mention that it was a Sunday. At one point a transfer took more than two hours to show up. Anyway, after receiving that receipt I agree that the transaction was done and I agree to give the Xbox to the person that came (!!!)… You can guess where this is going. The receipt is a fraud and 48 hours later I have no Xbox, no way to file a police report and obviously no money. Not to mention that I‘m not going to be able to pay everything without a miracle or doing something very clever. What, exactly? I don’t know.
Normally I would have told the guy to contact me later, go home and try another day, but with the fever I had I think I was just avoiding thinking. Anyway, lesson learned: Absolutely don’t trust every person you contact online :(
TL;DR: Tried to sell an Xbox on FB Marketplace, got scammed and lost my time, my Xbox, and a means to make payments.
NerdyToc: How exactly do you not have a way to file a police report? Is the Xbox stolen?
Marche90: I mean, technically I can file a police report. Unfortunately it would only be a waste of my time, since the police here won’t really do anything. I’m in Mexico…
| 3 | 5 | |
1670957752 | 1670961336 | t3_zl3nfd | t5_2to41 | -3 | Immediate_Expert4095: TIFU by running over a kitten in my car
Yeah, today I really fucked up. So around my home we have two cats and a couple of kittens. My parents don't allow them into the house, but we feed them and take care of them alongside our cousins. They mostly hang around the backyard. I was getting in my car today to go to work. FYI the way my car is usually parked means that I have to go a bit ahead to straighten it before reversing. I was running a bit late today so I got into my car and just drove on and started to reverse. I didn't hear any sound or anything. But as I was reversing I saw the kitten twitching in front of me. She must have gotten under the wheels and didn't have the time to move. I was shocked and still am but I had no time to move her since I was already going to be late a bit (FYI a school teacher). So I told my parents who weren't home hoping that they would come and remove her before my brother found out given that he is a bit more attached to them than me. He found out first by randomly going out. He's kinda shaken by it. He knows it was an accident but is kind of resentful toward me which I completely understand. I've been eating myself up all day. even though it was an accident feeling like a massive asshole for not taking my time.
TLDR; Didn't notice the kitten under my wheels when starting the car, my brother found her
Perkinstx: That's not a fuck up
RSN_ZeepXanFlorp_: How is not checking before you put a car in reverse and running over something you wish you hadn’t, not a fuck up? Or did the joke go over my head?
Immediate_Expert4095: I didn't run her over by reversing. When I started the car she was already under it. When I initialy moved the car ahead that's when it happened
RSN_ZeepXanFlorp_: Ok so not checking before putting in drive, that is still a fuck up…
Immediate_Expert4095: I never check for them. I just Rev the engine and it does the trick. But yeah today I was in a hurry and didn't do it hence the fuck up.
| 6 | -0.5 | |
1670960595 | 1670961868 | t3_zl4u9n | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by ramming my car onto a rock on the road
[deleted]
dominiqlane: Question: why were you driving 80mph if the visibility was that bad? You could have killed someone…
Redemntioness: Don't question my stupidity
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1670960605 | 1670981760 | t3_zl4uep | t5_2to41 | 44 | Sudden-Appointment-7: TIFU by texting all my passwords to someone
So a little backstory. I am in real estate, I help manage property rehabs, rentals, sales, blah blah.
I'm helping one client right now manage an extensive rehab in order to sell a property and he lives several states away. He had to evict the tenants and they trashed the place on their way out. We are texting back and forth extensively every day and we have a pretty good working relationship to manage the project. He's from Jersey and is one of those guys who could say "fuck you" but you could tell it was coming from a place of love. No bull shit. We work well together.
While all of this is happening I'm texting with my wife who is trying to log in to our Peacock account. She likes to put on mindless shows while she works sometimes. I set up the account back in November to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. My kids love watching it and there's a lot of good content (Parks and Rec, The Office, etc) and so we just kept the subscription after.
So anyhow I now have no idea what the password is. So to save time I just send her a list of all the passwords I use and she can figure it out. (yea I know, sending all those over text is dumb enough)
The only thing is I didn't send it to her, I sent it to my client. FUCK.
I immediately text "Sorry, wrong person" to which he responds "I forgive you. I have all your passwords now"
I respond " Can you log in and pay my mortgage for me?" He responds "Hahaha". So I think we're all cool.
So I've updated all my passwords just in case. It was high time to do this anyways. Like I said I have a pretty good relationship with this guy so I don't think he'd screw me over but I went ahead and changed them all anyways.
TL;DR I try to text all my passwords to my wife and mistakenly send them to my client instead.
DrSmurfalicious: Yall should use a password manager. Like Bitwarden, Lastpass or something.
HarryHacker42: KeePass is good if you don't want to trust remote people keeping your passwords safe.
FearlessBuy21: This and Also lastpass got hacked recently
HarryHacker42: It was more a continuation of the previous hack. They did say no user passwords were stolen, but it doesn't give me confidence.
| 5 | 8.8 | |
1670968592 | 1670992986 | t3_zl89at | t5_2to41 | 10,434 | acascuse-me: TIFU getting myself and Stanley from the Office banned from WSB by crowdfunding $30k for a Superbowl ad. End result: Reddit ran its own ad, refunded 2,000 Redditors , and to this day I keep getting banned.
# [I got banned again. This time for responding to a comment on my own post. Content of this post is appended to new FU.](https://www.reddit.com/user/acascuse-me-/comments/zlz3i5/tifu_getting_banned_for_commenting_on_my_own_post/) Will put it up properly later.
tl;dr **Nearly two years later I'm just realizing** [**this**](https://imgur.com/a/eWGewQv) **only happened because when I read what** u/ifuckedmythirdcat **wrote my instinct was to listen to them. Don't know how I feel about that. This was Jan 2021.**
>Yes somebody should start a GoFundMe, and they can link it then we can all put in money and then they're going to buy a super bowl ad, and I don't know it can be something stupid ([link](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/lbn7g1/comment/glvee2u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3))
>
>\-/u/ifuckedmythirdcat
&#x200B;
I read that and googled the cost of a super bowl ad. It was [$6 million](https://www.si.com/nfl/2020/02/02/how-much-does-super-bowl-commercial-cost-history-2020). Had some time to kill so I started a [GoFu\*\*Me](https://imgur.com/a/eWGewQv) looking for $6 million dollars and [mentioned it](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/lbrghe/wallstreetbets_superbowl_ad_gofundme_happy_to/) on WallStreetBets because people there burn money anyway.
I didn't think anyone would see my comment and I would just laugh to myself until money actually started flowing in. I didn't really think $6 million could come in but I stopped thinking it couldn't. Spoiler alert: >!it wouldn't!<.
I figured I would fire a model rocket, film it with my dad's [Handycam](https://imgur.com/zuYd5PX) and add some text graphics on the [ancient desktop](https://imgur.com/nq86Gt3) in my parents' attic with composite video inputs if we hit the target. Then I got a message from /u/TheLeslieDavidBaker, Stanley from the Office. He wanted to produce the spot I felt like it was divine intervention and I posted an [update](https://imgur.com/QVe878a) ([link](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/lc0pce/uthelesliedavidbaker_stanley_from_the_office_and/)) looking for feedback. Money kept coming in faster, one donation turned into 2,000. GME. Then someone decided I was a scammer instead of a hopeful idiot, the WSB mods started removing posts and comments mentioning the GoFundMe and the pace slowed. I know it's unlikely but I still can't help wondering if it could have hit $1mm at least. I've got a guy at CNBC who was willing to sell a spot for way less than that.
Anyway, the GoFu\*\*Me ended up topping out at \~$30k. Media coverage includes: [The Sun](https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/13954205/reddit-wallstreetbets-super-bowl-ad-robinhood-gamestop/), [Mashable](https://mashable.com/article/reddit-wallstreetbets-gamestop-robinhood-super-bowl-ad/), and [Brobible](https://brobible.com/culture/article/stanley-the-office-wallstreetbets-robinhood-superbowl-commercial/).
# The end result:
* 2,000 GoFundMe refund notifications look like [this](https://i.redd.it/haxhqadcyfg61.jpg).
* Just got reported on, banned, and threatened.
* Was made busy making sure everyone got their money back.
* Very entertained by the positive stories and messages I got doing this, particularly from people who wanted to tell Wall Street to go fuck itself.
Random thoughts:
* To be clear, refunds were issued because we didn't raise enough money to do what we said we would do with the money. Many suggested we use it for post-Superbowl ideas but it wasn't practical to get that consent from thousands of donors. Have had bad experiences with Reddit and money.
* I was banned for "panhandling" by the old WSB mods. The new mods upheld the ban.
* I appreciate the sentiment but please don't waste money on awards, invest it.
* Leslie was up to try post-Superbowl ideas (eg. during the RH/DFV congressional testimony) but was discouraged at present by responses to his recent posts/being banned himself.
* Rule 1 of getting banned is pretending that you never had an account before. I have a stopwatch running to see how long it takes this post/account to disappear. End result is you don't hear about what we do [🤷](https://emojipedia.org/person-shrugging/).
* Giving the money back was never a question. I would have actually liked to make SOME commercial but based on past experiences trying to fundraise on Reddit I'm pretty sure 2 or 3 people who gave money would have shown up on my doorstep.
* It was definitely in the thousands ($) that wanted me to keep it/find something amusing/anti-Wall Street to do with it. I couldn't even issue refunds through GoFundMe's web interface, I had to go through with their CS reps due to the volume.
* Fuck the mods. Not the /r/TIFU mods though.
Zickened: This is awesome! You don't usually hear about people actually refunding back donations. Typically you just hear about the guy that defrauded a shitload of people and went to jail, as if returning the money wasn't ever on the table.
acascuse-me: Fraudsters don't have to be afraid of Redditors coming after them. This website brings together the best and the worst of humanity. Have to deal with both.
furstimus: >This website brings together the best and the worst of humanity.
Looks like you've come up with their next Superbowl commercial
acascuse-me: Low production costs; they can just show screenshots of the frontpage
Seriously, like right now even
https://preview.redd.it/yes1yy83fs5a1.png?width=1791&format=png&auto=webp&s=1e1792960a15b274c4bccc9fc7c061de121a79a6
IFuckedJesusTWICE: TIFU by posting a screenshot with a “Xanga 2.0 is Here!” tab in the window.
Also, you’re scary spot on with the screenshot of the FP.
Lastly, what are you getting me from Home Depot?
acascuse-me: 
What do you want? Ngl I’ve got eyes for that sweet honeypot yellow 20V brad nail gun
IFuckedJesusTWICE: Makita Brushless drill and impact driver combo with 2x 6v batteries and a mail in rebate for an additional free tool.
acascuse-me: What’s your additional tool tho?
I already caught them all except like the flashlights 😂
IFuckedJesusTWICE: The additional tool is a *fleshligh.*
More importantly, what the hell is Xanga “2.0”. I mean, a) it survived? and b) is only at 2.0? 2.0?!!
acascuse-me: Pretty sure those run on something other than 20v
Ngl, the writers room didn’t give me much background on this bit. I know the websites exist, that’s all. There are always more Easter eggs if you’re still hunting btw.
| 11 | 948.545455 | |
1670969693 | 1671044853 | t3_zl8qqr | t5_2to41 | 31 | sqeeky_wheelz: TIFU: By making a joke about my “white” food preferences to our black waitress.
Back story: my mom’s family is off the boat Italian/Hungarian. My grandparents met and settled in Canada’s most rural shitty armpit. My town has recently been on the news for being hicks. Now my family jokes about me being the “whitest” of them because I can’t handle spice.
Does my backstory matter in this situation? Ultimately absolutely not. I’m a fucking social anxious asshole is what I am.
Context: we are currently at one of the USA’s biggest theme parks eating dinner. Our waitress asks me how much spice I want and I say “oh not too hot, I’m pretty white”
Is this where I fucked up? Probably. Who the fuck says that?! Did I make it worse when I tried to tell her I was sorry for my tasteless joke? Probably definitely.
She was so sweet and normal and great and I felt bad. I don’t know, I’m socially awkward and I was so upset about coming across as a racist I couldn’t even eat my dinner.
TL;DR socialize your kids like they tell you to socialize your puppy because being raised in rural no-where gave me the social skills of an apple.
OptimistPrime527: That wasn’t racist, it was self deprecating.
sqeeky_wheelz: Now that you put it that way it makes sense.. someone else compared it to the “whites people can’t dance” stereotype which also helps. Hopefully I at least made her laugh with my awkwardness.
SummerNothingness: yeah, though it's nice that you're being thoughtful about this and want to make sure others feel comfortable. just don't overthink it. because you seem very not racist. just by the way you have described everything. in case that helps.
also... are you in calgary? it sounds like a fun canadian version of the southern US.
| 4 | 7.75 | |
1670968430 | 1670973715 | t3_zl86q4 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by not checking my bubble tea straw
[deleted]
Limp_Will16: How do you put away a dirty straw? 🤢
sonicwhisper: The straw was completely clean on the outside! I guess the boba just got stuck inside :/
DuckRubberDuck: I use a straw cleaner, that way I’m sure nothing is stuck on the inside
| 4 | 5 | |
1670970945 | 1671032303 | t3_zl9abb | t5_2to41 | 8,260 | sugma-bawls-: TIFU by leaving the p**nhub tab open
So I (19f) was flicking my bean , as one does at 12am and my mom burst through my doors and asked me a question while I acted like I wasn't about to wet my fucking sheets . Then she left and I resumed and I was SO FUCKING CLOSE , then she came in my room again . I paused it acting all cool again and I sat upright while my phone was on the bed . Tab open. Video open EVERYTHING !!! And she was about to leave then she looked on my bed and left. Me being the curious dumbass I am , I look to where she was looking and there it was 😭 the fucking video on pause but it's very clear what site it's on!!! I'm never gonna masterbate again (lie) . And she is probably thinking I'm a fucking loser that gets no dick like I'm literally in shock right now. Help.
TL;DR: My mom saw that I was watching p*rn.
RhubarbsMom: I’m a mom and I knock on the door and would never barge in like that
Your mom FU not you
Old-Anywhere-1331: my parents still continuously walk in on me (20m) when i jerk off and watch porn even though they should know by now to just not come in. them being the devout catholics they are shame me each time they see me. you’d think they would catch on by now
PM_ME_Your_Panties15: Eventually they will think it's a kink lol
Old-Anywhere-1331: for them more than me. i swear that they literally do it on purpose since they have come in even at night time! with the lights off! instant loss of boner even if i was so close to cumming.
after that i have two choices:
- spend more time trying to finish the job after the agony of their lecture on how dirty and sinful what i was doing is.
- just cry myself to sleep from the embarrassment.
Pwincess_Summah: Your parents are abusive and entering deliberately to punish you for having needs
pereira325: Unpopular opinion maybe but it's not a need, it's a want.
A need is something essential, and you can live without it if your really wanted.
Pwincess_Summah: People have sexual NEEDS they have a NEED for privacy. That doesn't mean that NEED trumps others NEEDS for consent & safety. But in your own bedroom people habe a RIGHT to touch themselves.
Guard916: As soon as you own your own bedroom, you can do whatever you want. Things my kids get for free in my house:
- the mortgage payment
- electricity
- the internet
- food
- water and other drinks
- clothing
- the list could go on for a while, but my point is made.
The two minor children that live in the house have no choice but to accept my rules. For all the people suggesting to add a lock to the door - that's funny. If you want my undivided attention and for me to make your life hell until you figure out you're a child, go ahead.
My two children who are legally adults got told before they hit their majority that they are welcome to remain in the home, with a few rules attached. Gotta be in school or learning a trade - no basement dwelling gamer types who can't be bothered to be up before 9 am. Seems like that rules out most of Reddit, given the complete lack of respect I see here for parents and their home. There are other rules, like no bringing home dates to spend the night, be considerate, etc.
Anyway, the instant one of those adults says some version of "I'm an adult, I can do what I want"...I wholeheartedly agree with them and will help them pack their shit so they can do what they want elsewhere. It's a free country and adults can indeed do what they want. But, if they live in my house - that I pay for - they do it my way. I'm not unreasonable at all and give our kids the privacy they deserve. But some of you seem to think that minor kids have some sort of special rights in their parents' home and that adult children have even more. To paraphrase Eddie Murphy - "It's my house Gus, and if you don't like it, you can get the fuck out."
pereira325: This is such a bad view to have. Being a parent doesn't mean you get to be a dictator 🤣
Guard916: Got kids?
pereira325: Nope but I have parents who started off with a similar opinion/view to you, but they softened because they realised if you love your children, then you compromise. Instead of being stuck in a way that isn't flexible nor really best for the family.
Guard916: Opinions about child rearing from people with no kids of their own and are apparently still juveniles in adult bodies aren't worth the electrons used to post them on Reddit.
Given that I'm very happy with how our children have turned out, despite my shortcomings over the years, I reckon we're doing fine as a family. But thanks for your concern. Maybe go back to your anime filled reality that shields you from the real world.
pereira325: Oh look, we have a smart guy over here... yay.
I'm glad you seek advice only from parents and not people who might be of similar thought to... your children! There's obviously nothing useful to learn from someone a similar age to your child.
I'm glad too you acknowledge your shortcomings, that's great! Reflection is important. I'd recommend reflecting on what you've posted on reddit! Think how anyone reading it would feel about you as a person.
P.s. I don't watch any anime and I don't even game much anymore as I'm too busy working.
| 14 | 590 | |
1670972831 | 1671057593 | t3_zla3kj | t5_2to41 | 321 | Shorn09: Tifu by thinking I got herpes
Probably gonna be typos because l'm on mobile.
Throwaway obviously. I 17m have been growing a bush on my pelvic area. And one day I saw my dad's razor that he uses to shave his testis, anyway he has herpes and I know that because my mom (49) has told me about it (btw she's a nurse). And I decide to use it to shave my pelvic area and I get a pretty clean shave but there was still a bit left and it was pretty itchy. Anyways fast forward 3 days I see red dots all over my pelvic area and got scared thinking it was herpes, I decide to call my mom and tell her it was swelling and she told me to wait and she'll check it when she gets home. When she got home I pulled my pants down (only to my pelvis not my balls) and show her, and she just starts laughing and says that it is not swelling but that it is a thing called razor burns. Anyway I'm super relieved and I seriously thought it was herpes.
TL;DR
I thought I got herpes by using a razor if someone who has herpes but it’s just razor burns.
jets3tter094: The real question is WHY the actual eff are you using your dad’s razor on your junk?? 🤮
Glad_Bedroom8362: This might sound dumb, but this was probably OP’s first time shaving with a razor. Probably since it was his first time, he probably just picked whatever razor was available. Advice to OP, never use a razor that has been used by other people doesn’t matter how close they are to you. Also use a fresh clean razor before removing the weeds so you don’t run into that again.
aussie_nub: At 17? Man, I was shaving by 14 and I'm not an overly hairy person.
I_Need_Leaded_GAS: Your balls though?
aussie_nub: Irrelevant. Why would a 17 year old steal his dad's razor to shave his balls when he has his own razors for shaving his face?
I_Need_Leaded_GAS: Talk about irrelevant. 
| 7 | 45.857143 | |
1670982882 | 1670987225 | t3_zle30w | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by not proofing an email
[deleted]
Distinct_Signal_1555: There’s a recall button, if you catch it right away you can usually recall an email and resend with the correct link. Info for next time.
3pbc: Recall emails only make me pay more attention to the recalled email
| 3 | 1 | |
1670984939 | 1671069533 | t3_zlev6g | t5_2to41 | 13 | ExtensionSouthern997: TIFU by telling my parents I was “stealing.”
Todays a normal day where I got home early from school and my mother wanted me to do a pickup from a store. I agreed and went along to do so and one thing I was supposed to get was melatonin. Online the bottles are clearly all the way full and when I look at it they are a little over half full. What I do is I take 2 bottles, spin the bottle open and maybe put around 8 gummies in the one I’m going to buy and putting the other one back. I’ve seen stuff like this on TikTok and I thought I shall try it. Thinking it was a good idea I stupidly tell my mother what I did and both my parents all yelling at me like I’m stealing and I can go to jail and not get into college, blah blah blah. They ended up grounding me for a week and it is just starting Christmas break. I still don’t understand how it is stealing or theft because I paid for everything I walked out with. what do y’all think?
TL;DR: I got grounded for a week for “no reason”?
Expat1989: I know I’m getting older but the younger generation is just plain getting dumber. The internet has truly fixed a voice to the stupid and so many people answered the call
KBunn: After the weather we've been having lately, I wouldn't mind getting summer...
Expat1989: Autocorrect for the win. I miss the days of tactile keys where I could type without even looking at the screen and it would be right
| 4 | 3.25 | |
1670988992 | 1671025184 | t3_zlgcaf | t5_2to41 | 102 | SyncDigimon: TIFU by pan frying chicken instead of air frying it
I came home from work today and was thinking that I’d fry my chicken instead of air frying it because it’s my day off tomorrow. Seemed like a win-win, the chicken would taste better and I could enjoy my meal without thinking about going to work tomorrow.
So I finish cooking my meal and start eating it while watching youtube. Halfway through my meal, I notice my eyes started getting teary. I glanced at the cooking stove and notice I left the pan full of oil on the countertop that was still set on low. All of a sudden, it hit me. I started getting nauseated and had a throbbing headache. I had to lay on the floor for a while because I just felt so bad. As soon as I gathered the strength, I went to the kitchen to turn off the stove and immediately turned on all the fans and opened all the windows. Now I’m currently outside my apartment door trying to get some fresh air in the cold 30 degree weather. Oddly enough, my fire alarm didn’t go off.
TLDR; decided to fry my chicken, accidentally left the pan on the cooking stove, filled my apartment with smoke and now I’m on reddit.
dbell525: I'll bite. Why would over cooking oil be toxic?
SyncDigimon: I don’t think it’s the oil itself but rather the amount of smoke it produced
rainfallz: Did you use Teflon/non stick pan?
Smoking Teflon is indeed very toxic, to the point of killing small animals (sadly I speak from experience)
SyncDigimon: To be honest, I’m not sure what the pan is called. All I know is that I’m not using it again after what happened yesterday
rainfallz: And make sure to use cast iron or steel pans for high-temperature cooking in general!
Teflon is ok only at lower temperatures, make sure that you don't let it smoke if you use it, especially if you have any birds or small pets around.
| 6 | 17 | |
1670990312 | 1670997229 | t3_zlgsmo | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by going into my guy friend's room
[deleted]
kingferret53: Come out to your mom? Explain how you're interested in chicks not dicks and such. Would that help?
Unknown_Tuna: No she asked me to come out of my friend’s room not to me mom because she doesn’t know I’m a lesbian
kingferret53: No, I meant that have you thought of coming out to your mom? So she'd see you weren't trying anything suspicious?
Unknown_Tuna: ooh, well no. she's kind of homophobic
kingferret53: Ah. I was afraid of that. I never understood folks like that. I'm sorry you have to deal with that
| 6 | 1.666667 | |
1670991492 | 1671072359 | t3_zlh79l | t5_2to41 | 146 | autumn_ashh: TIFU by answering a wrong number text
For context, I usually switch numbers when i get a new phone. When I got my phone a few years back, I started receiving texts for a man who we’ll call Ben. Ben seemed to have my old number. I mostly ignored these, responding with “Wrong number, sorry”. But when I recently got a new phone, I figured out that my parents did not switch my number. So I have been answering these texts, acting like Ben. Obviously, I tell them right after. Then I go about my day.
But today, that did not go as planned.
Them: “Hey Uncle Ben; it’s me [Rob].”
Me: “Didnt your mother cut you off?”
(I was planning to tell him wrong number after this text, but I had a change of heart; bad decision.)
Them: “Huh? I’m still here. What do you mean?”
Me: “Haha, just pulling your leg kiddo! how have you been?” (They are likely older than me)
Them: “Ohh, haha! Boy, I thought i texted the wrong person lol!”
I was about to text them, “ Im just kidding you do have the wrong number” when he said..
“I just want to let you know that [John], my brother have just pass away this Saturday unexpectedly... we're all still pretty shock and in disbelief that's he really gone. I would call you but I'm too emotional so I won't be able to speak ..I just want you to know that.. 🥹🥹”
oh. my. god.
i was in disbelief, and i did not have the heart to tell him i wasn’t ben. so i played along.
me: “oh lord! i’m so sorry. are you doing okay.”
him: “We're doing okay.. we're hanging there.”
I told him i hoped he was in a better place when…
him: “Yeah.. I just want to let you know that. I'll let you know when it's his funeral. I'll keep you updated.”
HE INVITED ME TO HIS FUNERAL OH MY GODDD. IM LITERALLY FOING TO HELL. WHAT DO I DO? DO I TELL HIM I AM NOT UNCLE BEN???
i’m still in shock. safe to say i’m never answering a wrong number ever again.
TL;DR : The nephew of the person that used to have my number texted me and told me his brother died when i pretended to be the uncle.
ElectroStaticSpeaker: I think you gotta go to the funeral now and dress up as Ben.
autumn_ashh: of course. i’ll just grow about 3 feet and likely a beard.
Apollyom: specifically you have to dress up as Uncle Ben from spider-man
| 4 | 36.5 | |
1670995854 | 1671028596 | t3_zlimoa | t5_2to41 | 17 | spaghettni: TIFU by forgetting my passport
Tl;dr I forgot my passport to go on a flight to attend my friends' graduation and I realised i forgot my passport when the gate opened. I have now booked the first flight back to my home country but I will still miss my friends' graduation.
I fucked up big time. I had a flight planned for months to attend my friends' graduation in my home country.
Everything was set up, dress for the graduation, flight booked, OOO on, taxi booked, friends informed and family ready to pick me up from the airport.
I arrived in the airport 2 hours and a half earlier because I was afraid the passport control line could take too long. Suprisingly the airport was empty so I took my time in the airport.
The gate opened so I promptly made my way to it, and as soon as I arrived there I just had a horrible feeling. I only realised at that time that I did not have my passport with me. I did not ever remember whether I put it in my bag or not and I immediately felt my eyes get watery.
I went to the first airline assistant to ask what the hell I could even do since I did not have my passport, and I could not find it. He told me to check through security at the airport just to be sure, which I did.
I literally rushed to security crying with my boyfriend on the phone, for the people there to be nice and check my bag to find a passport while trying to reassure me. Until my boyfriend send me a picture of the infamous passport I left on my desk...
The rest of the time was spent with the customer service team to find the first available flight to my home country to no avail. This all happening while I was crying and sobbing the whole time. What a mess.
Anyway, the people at the airport were so lovely, honestly, they made my night. But I still could not find another available flight to my home country.
After one nightmare night at the airport and one long phone call with my family, we managed to find the first flight back to my home country for today (the previous flight was scheduled for yesterday night). It just so happens that it is in a city 100km from where I was scheduled to land so I will still miss my friends' gradutation. Ugh.
Just to say that I never thought it would happed to me but guess what lol it did.
Sorry for any mistakes I'm on 2 hours of sleep
HotPrior477: Years ago I did something similar. I forgot my birth certificate, before 911 that's all Canadians needed to get into the USA. I live a 13 hr drive away from border I got up at 4 a.m. and got in my car, I didn't realize that I had forgotten it until th border guard asked for it.
He was cool though, I showed him my hot reservation and he let me in anyway.
Van_GOOOOOUGH: What is a hot reservation?
EinsTwo: Probably typo for hotel
HotPrior477: Yeah. Exactly. They were cool back then
| 5 | 3.4 | |
1670993056 | 1671066594 | t3_zlhq0g | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting my long-life friend wanting a relationship with them already in one.
[deleted]
Auphor_Phaksache: There's a lot of FUs here to sift through.
Defiant_Low_1391: I think her sending those texts were the least of her fuck ups in that short story lol
abitheshark: It was , I got fired as well because that dude told my coworkers n manager I was drunk😂
| 4 | 7 | |
1670998123 | 1671240623 | t3_zlj9vi | t5_2to41 | 11 | noahboi1917: Of course I do. Why would you ask that?
noahboi1917: So this person asked if I even like my bf and then deleted their comment after I replied. I genuinely wanted to know why someone would think that :/
Moses148: Some people on Reddit will take one tiny negative interaction between couples and blow it up to the point that that interaction represents the entire relationship, and then think they are super smart for 'noticing' and start calling people out.
noahboi1917: Exactly! I'm so sick of seeing posts about the slightest misunderstanding between a couple and the comments scream "Divorce!" 🙄
Virtual_Freedom_4all: you are probably on the wrong part of the internet. Reddit is basically full of stuff like that... Facebook is a pretty bad place too but not as bad as reddit for stuff like "JUST DIVORCE HIM" or other bs like that.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1670999110 | 1671027979 | t3_zljmjl | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU Don’t go on social media while hungover ; accidental story post
[deleted]
SlomoPro: Accidental art?
mittumeshran: Modern art without the twist 😂
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1671009431 | 1671078168 | t3_zlmenp | t5_2to41 | 1,033 | Competitive-Set-916: TIFU by not knowing who Heisenberg is
Ok so let's make this quick
In my chemistry class we had to do a presentation about a scientist we liked if any field and then gave some examples like Einstein, Tesla, Marie Curie, Newton ect but she also said "Heisenberg" the i started laughing to myself thinking it was a breaking bad joke and said I'll do mine about Heisenberg
A few weeks passed and it was time for the presentation after a few people it was my turn to give my 10 min presentation and i started "Famous scientist Heisenberg also known as Walter White" you see where this going everybody was w little bit confused including my teacher when a kid that watched braking bad said "you khow Heisenberg was a real person right?"
I could feel the cold sweat running down my neck when i realised what moron i am and quickly finished the presentation. Afterwards my teacher asked me what all that was about and me trying to not look like an idiot said that there must have been 2 famous Heisenberg that's why the confusion and my teacher said she would look into it
Now am sitting here hoping that my teacher wouldn't search about the famous scientist Walter White
Edit: bc lots if you don't believe me saying that there is no ways i wouldn't khow who heisenberg is an important detail i left out it that am American
TL;DR TIFU by making a presentation about Walter White and not actual Heisenberg
ChibiSailorMercury: Nooooooo..... unless you did your homework without using the internet, I have a lot of trouble believing that you typed "Heisenberg" in a search engine and there was no results on the first page (because who goes beyond the first page?) and did not notice one link talking about the real Heisenberg and no discussion topic about Walter White discussing the origin of his pseudonym.
shadeplant: The hardest part for me was the teacher not knowing who Walter White is. Even my 75 year old dad who’s never watched the show knows who this character is. Especially since a kid in the class pointed out that the OP was presenting on a fictional character.
Unless the teacher was just being extremely diplomatic with the “I’ll look into it”, especially since this is probably a very young class.
FullMoon_Escapade: How is that the hardest part for.you to believe?
Did Walter White become Michael Jackson over night or am I missing something???
shadeplant: It’s an extremely popular and well known show. I’d have assumed an adult who’s been on the internet and has a passing familiarity with pop culture has at the very least heard the name before. I’ve never seen the show but I know the name of the main character at least.
The show was huge when I was in high school and lots of science teachers made BB jokes or heard them from students during every single lab. Even if it’s a time gap thing I raise my eyebrows at a chemistry teacher never hearing a single joke about becoming a real Walter White.
Ocean_Spice: Idk, if you asked any of the older adults in my family, I doubt they’d know who he is. They would’ve heard of the show but not the characters. The only reason I even know of him specifically is cause my ex loved that show, I hadn’t seen it.
shadeplant: My mom and brother are fans, so that’s maybe why me and my dad know it. But the idea that a chemistry or general science teacher has never heard a BB reference before is why I call bs or think the teacher was trying to be diplomatic so OP wouldn’t feel worse.
Ocean_Spice: They for sure have but still might not have known what people were referencing, if you haven’t seen it you’re not gonna get the joke. I’ve seen a few episodes and it still took me way too long to notice the BB reference in Zootopia.
Bike_Chain_96: What's the reference? I watched Zootopia before watching Breaking Bad
Ocean_Spice: The two rams with their like trailer thing with the poison flowers and whatever, and then one of them references the two guys from BB by name when they’re leaving the trailer.
| 10 | 103.3 | |
1671019497 | 1671021486 | t3_zlp82w | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: Tifu by being jetlagged
[deleted]
newaccount252: Reddit: You shouldn’t lie for karma.
catsarebitches: no-ones gonna lie 4 karma on a throwaway
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1671021778 | 1671070785 | t3_zlpzpz | t5_2to41 | 1,389 | DownDeep99: TIFU by going to the bus bathroom (Gross)
Today I started a 12 hour bus ride across 3 states in Brazil by going to the bathroom.
First thing as I entered the bus. I was not feeling well, really big 💩.
I’m flushing it down and suddenly only foam comes out. *oh fuck* try again, just foam *panic* try again, nothing *really panic* grab a few paper towels, and try to push turd down, doesn’t work. Embarrassed af, have to ask bus driver for help. I tell him the bus ran out of water and it needs to be flushed NOW. He asks me to try a little bit more, says the bus needs to pressurize more air to pump the water. I wait a few minutes. Doesn’t work again. Mind you, we haven’t even left the bus station yet.
Bus driver says to just close the dor and they will refill at the garage.
Bus leaves bus station *wait, where is the garage?*, 10 minutes pass, *omg, they aren’t going to stop?*, 10 more min, *poor bastard that goes after me*
Suddenly the bus arrives at a gas station. 15 minutes fixing the problem and filling up the bus tank.
But yeah, not really a fuck up, more of an embarrassment, but I wanted to share
Tl:DR: I delayed a bus because I clogged up the toilet
Edit: that was only the first delay of a 12 hour trip that turned to almost 17
Edit2: The bus station toilets were unusable: dirty, smelly, glass doors with the paint peeling off and walls so low ppl could see you from above
RealAlecMoney: You tried to manually push poop down a toilet? You are certainly a trooper. A pooper trooper if you will.
THphantom7297: See this is why you need the poop knife.
Book-bomber: Can you please link the story?
ClassyScotsman: [here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
Book-bomber: Thanks
Dont_pet_the_cat: You... read this voluntarily?
Wallythegreater: My work group chat is talking about my shits right now. How bad could it be?
| 8 | 173.625 | |
1671021109 | 1671117178 | t3_zlprk9 | t5_2to41 | 281 | sillybananna: TIFU by not disconnecting my bluetooth devices.
Alright I don’t know where to start so I’m just going to dive right in.
It’s been a while since I’ve watched porn or anything of the sort as I’m in a new relationship so I a) haven’t had the time for it and b) haven’t had the need for it. Tonight my boyfriend decided to stay at his house so of course I decided I’d spice it up a little before bed with a guided masturbation. I don’t know. I was picturing some sort of sexy guided meditation, it certainly did not live up to my expectations.
I was pretty much over it half way through but didn’t want to bow out early; I tried to stick with it. Why on God’s green earth was I so determined? I am still trying to answer this question.
Have I mentioned I live with my grandparents ?
My grams works afternoons and my poppa picks her up from work every night. I hear the door open, close, lock. Perfect! I am alone in the house and I don’t have to be quiet. Fast forward, birds and bees solo addition, yadda yadda. All the tension in my body is gone and I don’t have a care in the world.
Except…
What happened to the sound on the video? I check. The video is still playing but now there’s no sound. ??? I turn it up and then down.
FUCK
Two months ago my grandparents and I went out for dinner in their car and I connected to my poppas car stereo via bluetooth and never unpaired.
When he turned his car on to pick my grams up from work it paired to my phone for reasons only the universe knows.
My guided masturbation was playing full blast on his stereo.
Needless to say, I unpaired and am looking for an apartment.
TL;DR I didn’t disconnect from my poppas car bluetooth and it paired to my phone while I was listening to a guided masturbation. Because I’m an idiot.
TigzyGee: Omfg this is too funny. I did something similar when I was younger, left a porn tape in the VCR on pause and turned the TV off to go bike riding with buddies (was like 14 or 15 at the time). Mum comes home turns the TV on and presses play on the VCR, scene woman getting DP'd. Let's just say I got a stern talking to and grounded for 2 months
justAman1248: Grounded for watching porn? That is ridiculous.
TigzyGee: Try growing up in a strict Muslim household and you'd understand 🤣
justAman1248: Ahhh I forgot that jacking of is a no no for religious people.
TigzyGee: Actually it wasn't a jacking off session, my next door neighbour stole a VHS from his dad's porn collection and we were a bunch of friends hanging out watching said tape. Shortly after I got a call on the home phone one of our other friends had discovered a hidden spot behind the industrial area of with massive bike jumps, so we took off on our bikes and left the tape.
justAman1248: Lmao watching porn with friends, sounds like good times!
| 7 | 40.142857 | |
1671029978 | 1671061530 | t3_zlt66c | t5_2to41 | 41 | Ligmanutsbruh: TIFU by forgetting what’s underneath my bed
So I get home from work 20(m) and I walk in the house. My mom and her bf are leaning on the island counter and both am have a shit eating grin on their face. Her bf said “hey we rearranged your room to give you more space”, I’m like fuck what did they find under my bed. He goes outside to smoke and my mom comes into my room and says “hey I found something underneath your bed, he doesn’t know but it’s in your nightstand drawer”. Heart sinks and panic overcomes me and feel like time stopped. She’s still in the room and I’m looking at the bottom drawer, open the drawer and there it is. The candy cane wrapped flesh light my gf bought that I completely forgot about. My mom laughed and he haven’t spoken about said event since.
TL;DR idk if I should be concerned or freaked out that she didn’t freak out on me but shit was embarrassing.
Virus-Downtown: Just be embarrassed. Your mom masturbates her boyfriend masturbates. Every one knows you masturbate.
Virus-Downtown: Why would she freak out on you for jacking off it's not like it was cocaine
andywalker76: Yeah, what's a little jism between mum and son........
Spiritual_Poo: I believe it's customary to break both ones arms first.
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1671032223 | 1671056745 | t3_zlu4ir | t5_2to41 | 33 | VegetableShallot5241: TIFU by being impatient when trying edibles.
TIFU by not being patient with trying edibles
Obligatory not today but maybe 10 years ago.
Was in Amsterdam with my mates to try good weed. On the second day, I figured I try something different and go for weed brownies.
Asked the lady at the counter, she said "a quarter is enough for first timers". So I bought one whole brownie while my two other mates decided to stick with joints.
So I ate a quarter of the brownie while my mates lit up. Of course, they're high right away. I figured yeah takes time to digest my stuff.
10 mins gone. Nothing.
20 mins gone. Nothing.
30 mins gone. Nothing.
I got impatient. My mates was like "bro your tolerance is probably high". I was like yeah maybe.
*So I took another quarter.*
45 mins since my first bite. Nothing.
*YOLO time. Took another quarter.*
1 hour in. Yeah I'm feeling something.
Not bad high. I was like "niceeee finally". But that was only for like 10 mins. I felt weird, like just don't have a grip on things. My mates said yeah lets head back to the hotel. Walking back was a blur.
But what happened after was the scariest and most memorable experience in my life.
In the dark room, as we're all trying to sleep, my mind went berserk. I can't keep my mind on one single thing. It jumps rapidly to something else based on the visual cue from what I'm thinking.
I'm in a dark room. Black. Space. Stars. Twinkles and shines. Crystal. Cave. Wet. Fish. Sushi. Japanese restaurant. Japan. Falling sakura. Nice Japanese girl. Kimono. Hanbok. Korea. Taekwondo. White uniform. Wall. House. Family. Home Alone. Macaulay Caulkin.
All these are visual thoughts. No breaks in between. Rather than presentation slides, think spiralling massive stairs of these pictures. Jump jump jump.
I probably went through thousands of these visuals that night. And I can't stop it. Thought to myself "Fuck. This is it. Brain dead".
I don't know how long it lasted, but the next thing I remember was waking up to the worst hangover ever. Wasted my last day in Amsterdam just trying to survive.
Never touched another edible since then. Just smoked so I can be 100% sure I can control what I take.
*shivers*
TL;DR: Got impatient while waiting for edibles to kick in. Took more. Got wrecked.
rrickitickitavi: Edibles hit me really hard too. I don't know why they're so popular.
NOT000: u get way more bang for your buck, a little weed lasts much longer and is more potent cooked into an edible
i can make a months worth of edibles out of the amount of weed my roommate smokes in a day
i prefer my lungs have no tar, so eating it is all i do
rrickitickitavi: I get all that. It’s just that they wipe me out and then I have a weed hangover the next day. Vaporizers work best for me but I’m all for people using the method that works best for them.
NOT000: ive never had a weed hangover. thats part of why i dumped alcohol.
they say edibles make the same pot more psychedelic too
and edibles dont work at all for some people (theres a good scientific explanation why, but i dont remember it)
party on
| 5 | 6.6 | |
1671034332 | 1671065939 | t3_zluzqr | t5_2to41 | 280 | PlusAd3825: TIFU: I lied to a girl about my nationality
So to start this tragedy, I met a barista at a local coffee shop and got talking, just regular chit-chat, and I got the feeling that she was into me.
As I got to know more about her, I, unexpectedly started to develop a crush on her.
Now here comes the fun part, I had been conversing with her in English the whole time. It started as an experiment to see whether I could fool people into believing that I, in fact, am a native speaker of English.
To pull the wool over their eyes, as they say.
At a certain point, she asked me where I was from and she complimented my accent.
That is when I made the mistake of telling her that I was from England. However, I am, in fact, Dutch, as is she.
She liked the accent and, maybe because I didn't want to disappoint her, I rolled with it.
I'm very much aware that I've dug my own grave here.
The lie just kept growing and growing. Once I had started, I felt like there was no turning back.
I'm seriously debating telling her, but I'm terrified that will mean that I'll have blown my chances with her forever.
You know what they say, hindsight is 20/20.
There is this fear in me that she likes the person she thinks she knows instead of the person I truly am.
Although, I must confess that I'm an Anglophile. I have always preferred speaking English, even to other Dutchies.
In a way, it is a force of habit for me to address people in English.
And I do feel more accepted and respected in English than I do in Dutch.
So, in a way, this has set up me for a tragedy such as this.
I just hope I'll be able to remedy the situation in some way. If I want things to work I would have to come clean about everything and face the shame.
I thank you all for your willingness to read my story, and I am open to suggestions.
TL;DR I lied to a girl about my nationality, and I'm petrified to tell her the truth. I've dug my own grave. I may have blown my chances with her.
PlusAd3825: Honestly, I didn't mention that much about my roots. I didn't make up a whole story about the neighbourhood I supposedly grew up in. I just said London, England. Nothing too specific. She mentioned that I had an English-sounding accent, and asked me where I was from.
BrilliantColoringBoo: So...are you bilingual? And did you grow up in an English environment?
PlusAd3825: No, I grew up in a Dutch-speaking environment. I am bilingual in the sense that I'm able to communicate fluently in English. I'm able to get my opinions and viewpoints across in a coherent and structured manner.
BrilliantColoringBoo: Gotcha. Are you looking to just hook up with her or have a relationship?
PlusAd3825: Well, a relationship, I suppose. Hook-ups are not my cup of tea.
eyegazer444: "not my cup of tea."
That's a very English phrase to say
Tanagrabelle: Listen to u/BrilliantColoringBoo
| 8 | 35 | |
1671034950 | 1671058126 | t3_zlv8v9 | t5_2to41 | 35 | Ltislande: TIFU by making homemade mac and cheese
Today I fucked up. Like, really, really fucked up. I was trying to make a simple dish of mac and cheese, but I got a little too ambitious. Instead of using the boxed mac and cheese mix, I decided I wanted to make it from scratch. I thought it would be a great idea to add a few extra ingredients, like jalapenos, to give it a little kick. Long story short, I ended up with a cheesy, spicy, gooey mess.
It was inedible, and I had to throw it all away. Talk about embarrassing! I'm still trying to figure out how I could have messed up so badly. I was so confident that it would turn out great, and now I'm left scratching my head in confusion. I guess I should have stuck to the instructions on the box, instead of trying to get creative. Lesson learned!
Well, I suppose the only thing I can do now is move on and try to not make the same mistake again. I guess I'll just have to stick to boxed mac and cheese for a while until I figure out how to make it from scratch without turning it into an inedible disaster. Until then, I'll just have to live with the reminder of my failure every time I open the fridge.
tl;dr: made homemade mac and cheese, it was ICKY!
YodaHead: Mix equal part melted butter in flour in a medium sauce pan (1/4 cup each should suffice).
Stir over medium heat until butter/flour (roux) is golden brown. This is your thickener.
Add 3-4 cups whole milk or half and half and stir until steam starts to rise from top.
Add cheese of your choice. Two cups should do you very well.
Add salt and pepper. Maybe a pinch of nutmeg
Mix until cheese is melted and you have a nice thick sauce.
Pour over cooked macaroni which has been placed in a casserole dish
Bake at 350 for about 20 minutes or until the top is golden brown.
Serve
fomoco94: Instead of nutmeg, use small amount of mustard powder.
YodaHead: That will work too.
| 4 | 8.75 | |
1671038185 | 1671041273 | t3_zlwl5t | t5_2to41 | 55 | rinkitinkitink: TIFU by dating a coworker
[removed]
Mr007McDiddles: I don't understand. She was encouraging you to ask her out then proceeded to do so on your behalf. Then changed her mind out of the blue. Sounds sketch! Y'all probably need a clean break.
rinkitinkitink: I agree, but there won't be anything clean about it. She's threatened to take the kids, the house, everything if we divorce, and uaving been through a custody battle with my ex, we both know she can do it.
So either I'm miserable but get to see my kids, or I'm allowed to date who I want but still miserable because I can't see my kids and I'm homeless.
Mr007McDiddles: Damn, sorry to hear that. Might be worth the money just for a lawyer consult if you can afford it. I feel like you can use that manipulation against her, but what do I know about it. I would be recording conversations, documenting events, changing passwords. Not sure it's legal but self preservation is important. It's shit she's using your kids against you like that.
rinkitinkitink: Thank you. Honestly just being acknowledged that the situation is shit helps.
| 5 | 11 | |
1671039659 | 1671075365 | t3_zlx7nk | t5_2to41 | 1 | Orangerot_: tifu by taking the wrong bottle
I'm a chilli head. I love hot food. And during the summer I'm growing my own chillis. This year I've got cayenne pepper, 7 pot douglah and Carolina reaper. I always get a pretty big yield so I'm drying most of the chillis and grind them into flakes. I'm putting the flakes in identical bottles and lable them with the respective strain. Today my shelf holding these bottles fell down(I used those glue stripes because I'm not allowed to drill holes in my kitchen furniture). I put my bottles aside and didn't rearrange the bottles because I'm hungry as fuck. So I started cooking some nice eggrice with salmon, but without any chilli because my fiancee can't stand spicy food. After I finished cooking we sat down to eat. But as I like my food spicy I went back to the kitchen to get my cayenne pepper bottle to spice things up. As the bottles were still laying on the kitchen counter I've just taken a quick look and found the bottle saying "per" at the end of the label and assumed it was the Cayenne pepper bottle. While I love spicy food, on some occasions I don't like the strong aroma and heat of my Carolina reapers which should be used with caution, even if you like hot food. I've sat back at the table and put a lot of chilli over my rice. If you're used to hot food cayenne is not that hot, so I'm using pretty much(about 2 spoons full). As I'm very hungry I start eating very fast and it's delicious. But well, some chillis need some time to spread that hotness in your mouth. After I've eaten for about 30 seconds I start thinking wow, that cayenne is hotter than usual, but kept eating anyways. A few seconds later I start experiencing a painful sensation in my mouth. I've started sweating and getting a runny nose. That's the moment I thought that this can't be right and took a look at the label. It says Carolina reaper and not cayenne. So I've put flakes on my food, equivalent to about 2-3 fresh Carolina Reaper chillis. It's needless to say I've had the worst 20 minutes since a long time. After standing up to get some bread and milk I nearly passed out. Now I'm hoping it's not burning a second time while taking my morning poop tomorrow.
TL;DR I've mistaken my Carolina Reaper chillis for cayenne pepper and had a bad time. Read your lables before using your chillis.
Brewfinger: I genuinely don't believe this story. Reapers and Cayenne have totally different flavors, and no matter how fast you were eating, you'd readily notice the unexpected flavor. Reapers taste like dang sweatsocks, and if they didn't have the (well deserved) reputation for the high heat levels, nobody would eat them. Visually, they are also nothing alike. Reapers are dark chocolate brownish while Cayenne are bright red.
Orangerot_: Well then don't believe me, but it happened. Also Carolina reapers are bright red as well. You might have mistaken them for the 7 pot douglah which are indeed dark chocolate brownish while being nearly as hot as the reapers. I don't know what Carolina reapers you've tried, but mine don't taste like sweatsocks. They're pretty fruity until the hotness hits.
Brewfinger: Well, the reapers I got were actually grown by Ed Currie himself.. I think the brown color was probably correct and the peppers were probably correct as well since Ed was showing off his work as the original breeder of those nasty things.
Orangerot_: Well if I'm not mistaken this is Ed Curries company and even the pictures of the Carolina Reaper on his website are bright red. He indeed has some brown colored chillis, but none of them is a Carolina Reaper. (https://puckerbuttpeppercompany.com/collections/seeds/products/smokin-eds-carolina-reaper)
So I'm assuming you just talking nonsense and trying to discredit my story for internet points. Or you let your reapers rot and that's why they've tasted like shit and were brown colored.
Brewfinger: Oh yes.. the "internet points". Gotta get 'em all, right?
Orangerot_: Well why else would you spread false information about that kind of chilli?
Brewfinger: Oh yeah.. this post is just dripping with “internet points”.
Just relating my experience.
Orangerot_: I'm pretty sure your experience is completely made up or you've had rotting chillis. I've provided evidence from the creators website contradicting your statement. You can even find lots of pictures of the creator holding reaper chillis in his hands. And surprise, on all pictures they're bright red. Regarding the taste, feel free to just google 'carolina reaper taste' and you'll find lots of entries stating while being very hot, it has a very distinct fruity and sweet taste. Again contradicting your statement of it being tasting like sweaty socks. Either made up or rotting fruit which can indeed taste like gross old socks.
Brewfinger: Yeah... Ed brought rotten chilies for the Guiness World Record attempt that was held at the event. Yeah, that totally clicks.
KRYPTECDEMISE: I love spicy and OP is full of bs lol. Carolina reapers are bitter shitballs. I can only tolerate them in chili because the flavor sucks. I generally opt for ghost peppers if I want heat in anything outside chili or habenero for flavor
Brewfinger: Thank goodness for a voice of reason. Even Ed agreed that the Reapers taste awful and that their excessive heat is really their one redeeming quality. They were bred for heat and not flavor.
| 12 | 0.083333 | |
1671033081 | 1671113364 | t3_zluh0g | t5_2to41 | 505 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying 2 words
[deleted]
whiskeydix420: I'm in my late twenties, my gagging issue started when I was very young and saw wet hair in the shower (gagging as I type this) it's since gotten to the point where I can not stomach doing the dishes as I have an aversion to wet food now and soggy things in general. My friends mess with me all the time making gagging noise and talking about gross stuff in general I will gag and have thrown up occasionally because of it. Please do your child a favor and get to the bottom of this issue. It has become a hinderence to me and I fear I won't ever be able to get over it.
Writeloves: Never say never! It would probably be hard, but I wouldn’t say impossible. Non traumatic exposure therapy maybe? But I’m no doctor.
whiskeydix420: Wish my parents took it seriously when I was young.
Writeloves: Eh, I think there are plenty of people with traumatic experiences from parents trying to “snap them out of it” with forced exposure (not the same as exposure therapy).
What do you wish they had done differently? What does “take it seriously“ mean to you?
whiskeydix420: Notice that it was a problem. In their defense I never presented it as an issue but now that I'm a grown man, I realize that it's not normal to almost impulsively vomit every time I see or touch moist or soggy stuff.
Lovat69: So eating cereal is a no go for you? Not trying to trigger you just curious.
whiskeydix420: I have to speed my way through a bowl of cereal I can't tell you how disappointed I am if I take to long and accidentally eat a spoon full of mush (gagging currently) ruins my day tbh.
Theletterkay: My husband thinks its hilarious watching me eat cereal. I have a little 1/4 cup scoop that I use with a toddler sized bowl with milk. I add some cereal, eat it, add some more, until full. The cup size took some trial and error of finding a comfortable eating speed and amount i would eat before time would pass and make it soggy. But im not wasteful!
IndependentAlarm6194: My cousin eats her cereal with a milk cup on the side and just dips a spoonful of cereal in at a time
| 10 | 50.5 | |
1671045757 | 1671046662 | t3_zlzqyr | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU BY BEING LAZY AND NOT BUYING BAKING PAPER
[deleted]
Praline-Mother: You thought the oven rack would hold a raw pizza? This may be the last time you post on this sub but this will not be the last time you experience TIFU.
TheRealTwiner: /r/rareinsults
| 3 | 10 | |
1671047427 | 1671089893 | t3_zm0e09 | t5_2to41 | 13,359 | J0shua1985: TIFU by taking a shower at work
This actually happened this morning, and my local country subreddit suggested I share with you guys as well.
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After a 20 minute bicycle ride though the freezing Scandinavian winter I arrived at work and figured it would be a good idea to take a warm and refreshing shower. Luckily my workplace has some nice big bathrooms with shower facilities. I immediately head into the bathroom, drop my clothes on the floor and step into the shower and relax for a good 10-15 minutes. After finally snapping out of my catatonic shower state, I draw back the curtains and step out.. onto the overflowing bathroom floor. And by flooded I mean we probably have a good 1,5 cm/ half inch of water covering the entirety of the bathroom floor. I look over to the corner where my pile of clothes are simulating a cotton archipelago, completely saturated by the water.
So here I am butt-naked in a bathroom at my work, with no dry clothes. My first thought was to just put it back on and hurry back home to change, but being soaked in sub-zero temperature would lead to severe pneumonia under the best conditions. Second option was to make a complete power move and walk out just wearing a towel and hope i could do a series of speech 100 skill checks to gaslight everyone else into thinking they were the weird ones and hand over some of their clothes.
Luckily I had a third option, as by a stroke of pure luck I had placed my towel and my private cell phone on the sink, thus unscathed by the water. I frantically googled my work to see if I could find the number og my boss - Sucess! Now I just had to muster up the courage to call her and explain the situation and see if she could save me. It is woth noting here, that my boss is a lady in her early 30's so it was of some importance to me, that this would not come of as the plot of the average pornhub movie. Luckily she had a good laugh about it, said I was an idiot (I'll allow it) and found an old soccershirt in the break room that the dropped in front of the bathroom. That solved some of my problem, but left me with the bottom half unaccounted for. At this point however I had spend the last 10-15 minutes Twisting my jeans and running them under the hand dryer, so they had reached a state of acceptable humidity under the circumstances.
At this point it was about as good as I was going to get it, so I went commando into the jeans and put on the soccershirt and brought the rest of my clothes to a drying cabinet. At this point I had no option but to get back to work while waiting for my blue collar suit to dry up and just embrace the humiliation and question from my colleagues about why I was dressed like I was going to a festival. Knowing there is no way to stop the rumors from spreading, I have figured I'll just embrace the situation and get a good laugh with everyone else.
TL;DR Showerdrain was apparantly clogged so the bathroom floor - where I had placed my clothes - was flooded. Lady Boss saved the day.
Svartdraken: Wait wait wait... Let me process this information
* You have showers at work
* You are allowed to take showers at work
* You have reliable hot water at work
* You have 15 minutes to chill under the hot water
* The bathroom is clean enough to take a shower
* The floor is clean enough to lay your clothes on there
Wow that's impressive. Glad you made it through alive and intact
Sylogz: We have 2 showers with 2 saunas. I live in Sweden. It's perfect on Fridays to grab a beer or 5 and sit in the suana and chill.
It's cleaned daily like the rest of the office.
May i ask what country do you live in that don't have access to warm water for 10-15 mins?
__poser: In America, I've never had a job that had showers I was allowed to use. I worked at a spa once and we could use the guest showers for absolute emergencies (one time one of my coworkers got shit on her), but we weren't allowed to freely use the showers.
Effervee: It's really common in the UK, never worked in an office without them. I don't tend to use them very often but they're perfectly fine, one guy used them daily for like 6 months because his own one broke
__poser: Honestly I wish more places here would implement them. The amount of times I've been too tired to shower after my commute is crazy. Showering at work would make things so much easier.
backgroundmusik: Had a boss with a twin bed in his office (not for sex, he liked to drink). If he'd had a shower I bet he would have straight moved in.
Onespokeovertheline: >a twin bed in his office (not for sex, he liked to drink)
A likely story
backgroundmusik: He was a chef
dragoness_leclerq: I thought you said it *wasn't* for sex??
AgreeableOven1766: No that's what the pile of flour sacks in the larder is for... Or the cool room if you plan on being snappy about it.
TheEyeDontLie: I've been a chef for twenty years and I've only had sex in a restaurant a couple of times that I remember.
I feel like I'm missing out.
tristen620: ... that I remember...
No, you're good lol.
| 13 | 1,027.615385 | |
1671046994 | 1671082190 | t3_zm080f | t5_2to41 | 2 | NotDelusionalAtAll03: TIFU by climbing into a tiger's cage at the zoo
[removed]
EffectiveGeneral8425: You should write a novel
Limp_Will16: And it would be the only novel ever to be legitimately banned/burned.
A little off topic, but it reminded me of the episode of Friends when Phoebe is on a date… because her tea told her to? It’s been a while since I’ve seen the particular episode… but the date says he writes erotic fiction for children and “it’s wildly unpopular”
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1671052275 | 1671163120 | t3_zm2c0f | t5_2to41 | 239 | Cosmic_fault: TIFU by putting flan in my armpit
Today, while eating a cup of flan, I raised my arms to stretch- forgetting that I was sitting at a desk beneath a loft bed. My hand, and the cup in it, hit the bed above me, knocking the cup from my grasp...
It tumbled, catching its rim on the sleeve of my tee shirt, dumping the flan perfectly down my shirtsleeve.
This took place in the single breathless moment it took my body to register the initial impact and jerk my hand back down, away from "the threat"; consequently, the falling flan hit my bare armpit at exactly the moment I roughly dropped my arm, crushing it there in a small explosion of cold flan, caramel, deodorant, and regret.
Flan and grossness sprayed from both sides of my armpit across and down my torso, soaking me in cold flan under my shirt. I may have been the single most unpleasant sensation I have ever experienced.
I made the same sound a frog makes when speared by a kingfisher, and my soul aged ten years. The lizard part of my brain was screaming "IT'S PUKE THERE'S PUKE ON YOU SOMEONE JUST PUKED ON YOU" on a frenzied loop. I was immediately wracked with dry heaves, and had to haul my slimy shirt over my head while trying not to barf my pants.
Just the worst. Now I have to go take another shower, because every part of me from the nipples up is cold, slimy, and sticky, and I smell like a fucking omelette.
If there's a moral to this story, I'd love to hear it.
TL;DR Flan in the armpit feels bad, dawg
Batmanofni: How do you get a flan in a cup?
Airspool: The only flan i know is from holland/ netherland. And they sell it in liter packs. I drank them direkt from the pack. Is your flan more like what we call pudding, stiff and wobbly like jello?
Batmanofni: As far as I am concerned a flan is like a tart with pastry.
Cosmic_fault: Turns out there are only so many syllables to go round.
| 5 | 47.8 | |
1671054856 | 1671140229 | t3_zm3eqj | t5_2to41 | 122 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing xans and lean before work and getting caught making out with my coworker
[removed]
AmeliaBidelia: Sure thats cool and all but maybe try doing drugs on your offtime not during work hours
dramforadamn: Dude works at a fuckin WalMart. Probably a Xmas temp. 100% management knows he's fucked up and making out with this chick and and doesn't care. That store has cameras. At least he shows up. That's better than 90% of them.
Theletterkay: He literally said he didnt do any work. Not. He isn't better than the one who dont show. Her as a tornado making life harder for the people who rely on working there and he makes the position look bad. Those jobs suck, but the people working them still need a livable income. Douchbags like OP play right into the belief that low wage workers dont deserve more pay because they will jist fuck around and be a waste of space. He is making money doing nothing while his coworkers have to do extra work to account for his wages, or else management will cut all of them.
tmrwneverknows: Honestly if he’s able to be off pills and lean, be unproductive, chilling with whoever he wants on the clock then it’s the managers who are at fault for not allowing it. The chain of command there is an absolute shit show idk maybe if the workers were paid more they would actually care???
dramforadamn: It's WalMart. Nobody gives that much of a fuck.
| 6 | 20.333333 | |
1671055333 | 1671092635 | t3_zm3ly2 | t5_2to41 | 143 | Sea-Concept-9006: TIFU by digging into the past and finding my husbands betrayal
[removed]
XephexHD: So ima just lay it out there and I know I’m gonna get hate for it. In a relationship not everyone loves at the same time. He started to think you weren’t what he was looking for and started to make his exit. Lot of people don’t know how to break off a relationship before having another lined up. Yes it was a period of emotional cheating but from what you have said he never acted on it. Everyone has points where they are doubtful of their decision with their partner. In a day and age where all it takes is to press a couple buttons on you phone and you can talk to new people it’s easy to experiment and test if that’s what you really want. It seems to me he realized what he had and made the decision to be loyal. He never pursued it and he married you.
Back to what I was saying about not everyone loves at the same time. In a relationship both people have varying degrees of how much they love each other and how emotionally involved they are. It’s constantly in flux and one person pulls away then then other, back and forth. But the thing that defines whether a relationship is right is if both people meet back on the middle occasionally and if one of the two people are invested at all times. Especially earlier on in a relationship, most people are not certain about anything. Over time commitment and stability often builds up.
java_jazz: This would all be relevant if he hadn't lied and gaslit his partner. It's one thing to pull away and have doubts, but to lie about it and hide the fact that he was looking for something better is not a great sign. Trust is not something easily repaired once broken.
XephexHD: I agree that it’s not acceptable to lie to your partner. However at this stage I think anyone would be desperate to not ruin something they found real meaning and value in even if they had doubts at one point. It’s best to be honest to your partner but not everyone acts like they should when they feel caught off guard. Personally, if I found out my partner was secretly looking for an exit a year ago and we are now married. If I felt she was loyal and never actually met anyone I’d probably not be too concerned. I’d likely just confront her and ask her why she felt that way and does she still have any of those doubts. If there has always been concerns and you have always doubted your partner then yeah break that shit off because unless you can manage to get over it and feel secure it will always haunt you. You gotta be okay with you and not feel insecure for any reason to have a successful relationship.
java_jazz: I respect your right to your opinion, but honestly I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around this:
>Personally, if I found out my partner was secretly looking for an exit a year ago and we are now married. If I felt she was loyal and never actually met anyone I’d probably not be too concerned.
Secretly looking for an exit is an act of disloyalty in itself. The immediate answer to your question of "well is she loyal" the answer is objectively no. She had secret emotional affairs with other people behind your back and hid it for a year.
I'm not saying that there could never be compelling reasons to stay with such a person, but no, they have demonstrated beyond a doubt that loyalty is not one of their virtues.
XephexHD: Loyal currently or I had no current suspicion or doubts of anything is what I mean. If I love her now and she’s good now but I find out some shit in the past… why sabotage what I have now. Personally I’m a lot more okay with emotional cheating than physical. I’m comfortable within myself to not need to control someone’s thoughts. If they felt like they were unhappy for this and that reasons and were thinking of leaving but didn’t… that’s what they thought, that’s how they felt. Doesn’t mean that’s how they feel right now. But if I find someone has actually physically cheated by going on dates, entertaining people flirting, or having sex then no I’m not okay with that. But if my girlfriend wants to download tinder and see how many swipes she can get then it’s whatever I’m not concerned or I wouldn’t be with her.
java_jazz: I think I understand a bit better now. But firstly, no one said anything about controlling someone's thoughts. Leaving someone for lying and hiding the fact that they were flirting with people outside the relationship through online apps has nothing to do with controlling them. It's merely setting a boundary for expectations within the relationship. The other party is free to violate those boundaries, but at the risk of losing the relationship.
Beyond that it just sounds like you don't place a high value on either emotional faithfulness or honesty, which again is totally your choice. More power to you.
But I'd wager a guess that many, if not most, don't feel the same way. I think that's important to keep in mind in a thread like this. If the OP felt the same way as you, that they're not disturbed by their partner seeking outside emotional intimacy and being lied to about it for a year, I doubt they would have even posted this. Not to mention that the capacity he's shown for dishonesty puts into question whether he's telling the truth about his infidelity being purely emotional in nature.
Anyways, I appreciate the civil responses. I hope the rest of your day treats you well.
XephexHD: Sorry I wasn’t meaning it like that. I meant was they are free to think whatever they want. If my girlfriend wants to stare at some dudes ass then she can. I’m not gonna be upset because that would just be my way of saying she can’t think a certain way. I guess for me it would be more of a matter of it didn’t hurt me yesterday or the day before and I’m happy today. I’d say water under the bridge. But yes I understand how that can make you doubt a lot of things. I suppose I also relate because I’ve been the emotional cheater before in an unhealthy abusive relationship and I’ve been cheated on.
kokihi_55: Staring at dudes is an action, not a thought. Expecting your partner to show you and your relationship respect is *NOT* controlling.
| 9 | 15.888889 | |
1671056592 | 1671081711 | t3_zm44hb | t5_2to41 | -11 | Aggravating-Read1282: TIFU By Telling On Bully
As the title says, I(M, teen) was getting bullied by (M, teen) and I told the teacher. now the part where I fucked up isn't about the bully aspect, it's about what i told on him, aka that he keeps talking about taking drugs, which means that they can't sell/use as safe as before because there can be more cops around the school and they can search people, now the school i go to (secondary school) has around 70% of the people involved in the drug thing, selling and using, meaning now if someone finds out i told on them about the drug thing, that I am the reason there is more cops here, I'm gonna be in a bad spot, i dont think I'm 100% the reason behind the cop stuff because the teacher told me that the bully takes another type of drug that i had no clue even existed, and im worried what can/will happen to me or even my family, im scared.
TL:DR.: I told on bully and now I'm scared that the people involved with Drugs in school will hurt me.
Any advice will be appreciated.
AxelrodGunnerson: Stop snitchin
NartheRaytei: You fuckin serious? Fuck bullys and all who defend them. And fuck people who think calling people snitches is cool.
andywalker76: Yeah, the school have a duty to provide safe conditions for your studies.
That aside, if you knew that extent of drugs in school and that the school would call the police, you should have stuck to reporting the bullying only.
Aggravating-Read1282: i did not knew, i found out after i told on him
| 5 | -2.2 | |
1671059246 | 1671117269 | t3_zm57c4 | t5_2to41 | 29 | undercover_lesbeean: TIFU by submitting a meme as an assignment
My professor loves memes, jokes, tiktoks, all of it. He is always giving us the opportunity to make a tiktok instead of writing a paper vibes.
I saw this tumblr post \[ sorry professor i did not do this asisgnemtn becuase i was too sad! NO consequences please. goodbye -credit to [noctude](https://www.tumblr.com/noctude)\] and thought it'd be a hilarious joke to submit that instead, as I saw the poster put in an ask saying that someone submitted that and got half credit. I was still planning on doing the assignment, but it was just funny, or so I thought.
I woke up this morning to an email from him. He was concerned about my welfare, and told me that he was definitely willing to work with me on accommodations and perhaps an extension if needed, which was super sweet. I answered him and said that I had just done it as a joke and was hard at work creating the slides for the final project.
Fast forward a bunch of hours, and I get a call from my college. I picked up and the Dean of Students was on the phone. She wanted to check-in and make sure I was receiving help, either academically or emotionally. I tried explaining that it was a joke, and I was fine, but she pressured me to make an appointment with the counseling services on campus.
Now I gotta talk to the prof. tomorrow and explain what happened.
TL;DR: Submitted a meme instead of my final assignment just for kicks and giggles but the prof thought I was a harm to myself and reported it to the college.
Setthegodofchaos: What was the meme in question if you don't mind me asking?
undercover_lesbeean: [https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2F64.media.tumblr.com%2Febe889a9173ec2ad13de40ddd5ab3fc9%2Fd48099bfec9f45f0-40%2Fs640x960%2Fe62fb97a9015d6222f568c7895dfbb861135fd8e.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=10cea579d2bd5d64d650f2dd1421634e889980be33c7b7e659212edc8a5a5145&ipo=images](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2F64.media.tumblr.com%2Febe889a9173ec2ad13de40ddd5ab3fc9%2Fd48099bfec9f45f0-40%2Fs640x960%2Fe62fb97a9015d6222f568c7895dfbb861135fd8e.jpg&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=10cea579d2bd5d64d650f2dd1421634e889980be33c7b7e659212edc8a5a5145&ipo=images)
kayzil: Well… on the fair side, that doesn’t sound like a meme or a joke, now I know why the school took it serious… and for you OP, I am really concern for your sense of humor.
undercover_lesbeean: I think it was just a miscommunication over teenage/tumblr humor, something that doesn't translate if you don't know it.
| 5 | 5.8 | |
1671060773 | 1671147303 | t3_zm5t5o | t5_2to41 | 8 | Thydumbsir: TIFU Me and a friend on snap started dating to just suddenly blocking me on everything except snap
Me and a friend started dating then suddenly blocked me besides snap but just unfriended on me on there, idk what happened.
Me and a friend thru snapchat became friends then started dating i don't know how i fucked up..
We started off as friends in different states and we met thru Snapchat due to me not doing too good one night and just wanted somebody to talk too so I started adding tons of people on snap, we ended up talking and started being friends for a couple months then we started dating a couple days ago. We didn't get into any fights or arguments as far as I am aware off, they never asked me for money or nudes or nothing just chatting and talking to each other about what the other was doing the moment or asking about work. They mentioned about getting rid of Snap and FB but they blocked me on FB and I tried calling their phone number and I got blocked but I can txt them thru snap because they just unfriended me and just asked them why or what I did wrong to fuck up are friendship. I established if it didn't work out we could just go back to being friends. Idk what is going on or what else is happening outside their cat is old and might be sick.
TL:DR Met someone thru snapchat a couple months ago, started as friends and started dating to just one day blocked me but snap.
Half_burnt_skunk: She "ghosted" you. Time to move on.
northa111: "She"
Half_burnt_skunk: Them/they.
| 4 | 2 | |
1671070541 | 1671077594 | t3_zm9f3m | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling someone that their ugliness is generational
[removed]
ATXThrow04: Bruh, checkout r/trees, it might be better received there. Lol
[deleted]: lol I expected as much and after all, upvotes are like monopoly money
ATXThrow04: But the karma….
[deleted]: Meh karma is the same as monopoly money
| 5 | 0.8 | |
1671072674 | 1671074622 | t3_zma5h9 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by chucking my mother’s cat about 10 feet across a kitchen and into a laundry room like a frisbee
[removed]
Defiant-Signature544: I have 2 cats that fight like crazy, I use a broom (very lightly) to separate them.
reddox-_-: When I still lived w/ my mom I’d use the broom too bc my cats would shit themselves over it. The demon is not deterred by it it’s insane
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1671063287 | 1671116690 | t3_zm6rqw | t5_2to41 | 92 | showerdisaster42069: TIFU by having sexy shower time with my girlfriend
[removed]
ciarenni: Water droplets wouldn't activate the screen because, if your phone is newer than 10 years ago, it's a capacitive touch screen and the droplets don't have enough of an electric field to trigger it.
Even the best authors had stories that weren't great, I believe in your ability to grow.
Flouid: Completely incorrect with hot water. Writing this on an iPhone 14 Pro that occasionally comes in the shower with me. If I let the screen get too wet the phone becomes completely unusable and starts receiving random tap inputs all over the place and I have to dry both it and my hand to use it again. Have you ever actually tried this or are you talking out of your ass?
ciarenni: The water will spread the electric field from your hand around, creating the random inputs you see. They won't cause touch inputs on their own.
Lined_the_Street: All it takes is a slight salinity to the water to cause some screens to register a finger
YIL bananas also count
| 5 | 18.4 | |
1671074214 | 1671074431 | t3_zmao7h | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: tifu by making a fake account to mess w my ex
[deleted]
Boring-Pudding: Weird, cause you were [18 and female](https://www.reddit.com/r/MyChemicalRomance/comments/ypwnrz/mcr_reddit_demographic/ivmldlr/) last month. November must have really kicked your ass, huh?
potatopcbrrrrr: lol bro got caught in 4k
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1671075728 | 1671130325 | t3_zmb67p | t5_2to41 | -42 | throwaway2907891: tifu by catfishing my ex
[removed]
kromaticorb: You sound vaccinated
ajotings: You sound like a neanderthal
EnoughLuck3077: I don’t hear sound while reading
ajotings: My bad.
By kromaticorb's comment, we can deduce that he is a Neanderthal.
kromaticorb: You sound like your brain is smooth
| 6 | -7 | |
1671078941 | 1671109209 | t3_zmc707 | t5_2to41 | 9 | dirtyjack94: TIFU by being Horny on reddit
TIFU by being horny on reddit
Obligatory this happened a year ago
I was horny on reddit (27M) and so i went to r/dirtykikpals and started chatting with random people on kik
However, while chatting with random redditors on kik about various pornstars and porn fads along with hentai, i was sent child porn. Also beastiality.
This made me freak out, i deleted the chats and kik, and went to report the reddit accounts but they were already deleted. I reported the subreddit to reddit admins, and obviously nothings been done about it.
Now the fuck up continues, because 4 months later I applied to a job that requires a polygraph, and proceeded to fail the questions the proctor specifically chose involving child porn. The proctor then proceeds to all but call me a pedophile, he was accusing me of liking it and actively searching it out etc. It was hands down the most humiliating experience ive ever had.
Of course, I wasnt hired. I proceed to apply to another job in the same field 9 months later after finally recovering from the shame of failing the polygraph. However, when its brought up about the polygraph im automatically disqualified with no regards to my explanation of what happened.
This has now happened twice, so i can safely say my career interests have been forcibly changed all becauze I was horny on reddit and some random sick fuck sent me child porn. Thanks reddit.
TLDR, horny on reddit, random redditors sent me child porn. Proceed to freak out and now cant pass polygraphs so that locks me out of a lot of job fields i wanted to be in.
homersnightmare: What job brings up questions relating to CP??
Ill_Diamond_1794: Social worker maybe?
lady-of-the-woods: I'm a social worker, can confirm I have never had a polygraph.
Clearances have to be good, background investigation in some instances. Never a polygraph.
Ill_Diamond_1794: Fair lol only thing I could think of that would make any kind of sense honestly
lady-of-the-woods: The only career I can think of that does a polygraph is to become a cadet for the state police....at least in my state...
| 6 | 1.5 | |
1671078741 | 1671081445 | t3_zmc4sj | t5_2to41 | 25 | Aggressive-Region838: TIFU by pretending to like a band & consequently vomiting all over my love interest
I (m20) have a crush on my lab partner Tracy (f19). Her and I were recently studying for our finals together, while we were hitting the books she suggested we listen to music together. She asked me what kind of music I liked, and I remembered her wearing a Slipknot shirt to class a few days ago. I had been meaning to check them out in order to create a conversation piece for us to bond over, however I never got the chance as i’ve been busy studying. Anyway, I suggested we listen to some Slipknot while we study and she kind of laughed at me for a second. I was puzzled and she explained “Slipknot isn’t rlly the best music to listen to when you’re trying to focus, but i’d love to anyway!”. This kind of confused me because I had never listened to them before, I didn’t know what to expect, she seems like a sweet and mellow girl, So once I heard the violent screams of the music, I began to panic. Little known fact about me, when I get nervous my stomach starts to hurt (this comes in later). As we’re listening to this horrifying, guttural music, she mentions she’s surprised that I’m a Slipknot fan, at this point, so was I. Then, she asks me the question I’ve been dreading through this entire encounter, “What’s your favorite song by them?”. I could feel my heart drop into the now queasy pits of my stomach. I drew a blank and just answered “I really like all of them”. I thought I may have gotten away with this once she responded by saying “Oh yeah they’re all so good, my favorite is Blood Bath”. I wouldn’t put it past them to have a song with that gruesome title, and I wanted her to like me, so I made the mistake of saying “Wow I love that one!”. Instantly, her face dropped, and she snickered at me. I could feel the bile rising in my throat and the saliva coating my mouth. She looked me dead in the eye and said “That’s not a real song by them…I was just trying to find out if you were a real fan…which you obviously aren’t.”, followed by the most aggressive eye roll I’ve ever seen. The combination of the humiliation and the fear of the music sent my stomach over the edge, resulting in me vomiting all over her dorm room. I had just eaten spaghetti and meat balls prior to this, and her sheets were now coated in the worm like half digested noodles, her walls looked like they had been coated in the blood like marinara sauce I had once enjoyed. My face began burning with the flush of hurling out my insides & the blush of humiliation. She looked at me with an appalled look, and I had no idea what to do. I ran out of the room and darted back to my dorm, where I’ve been sitting in my shower regretting my life decisions. I’m sure she’s never going to talk to me ever again and I’m so mortified that I’m considering missing my final tomorrow. I have no idea what to do and i’m beyond embarrassed. Will I ever recover from this???
TL;DR TIFU by lying about listening to a band in order to impress a girl, being caught in my lies, and then proceeding to throw up.
guruglue: When I get nervous, I push my fingers into my eyes.
Aggressive-Region838: Maybe if I had actually given a listen to them before this disaster I would’ve thought of that haha. I have now, and they’re honestly pretty good when I’m not put under the stress of impressing a girl :)
KBunn: Well you definitely made an impression.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1671082102 | 1671138998 | t3_zmd5mq | t5_2to41 | 136 | SOFDMS: TIFU by getting scammed out of all my savings
They knew my dad’s info, that he was buying our house and that he was out of town. They didn’t tell me he was in danger, just that some transactions didn’t work for the buy and we were going to be badly fined. I just got so scared, stressed and wanted to help him. I tried to call him but the person on the phone told me if I did we could have problems. Idk they just got in my head.
I just feel so stupid. Thinking about it there where a lot of red flags in the call but my head was just on helping my dad.
I never thought that could happen to me, ever. So dumb. I feel like something broke me and I don’t know if I can ever feel better or trust myself around money. I just need to talk to someone that has been in my shoes. I’m so so so depressed.
TL;DR - I got scammed thinking I was helping my dad. I feel stupid and so so depressed
Banana_Ann: Please contact your bank. Financial institutions can help with attempting to recoup lost funds. Cannot guarantee you'll get the money back, but please report it. Also contact Action Fraud immediately too. Getting this reported ASAP is the best thing you can do.
Also these people can be very convincing, so please do not beat yourself up about this too badly. You're a victim of a crime.
I hope you manage to get some of this back.
SOFDMS: Thanks 😔 I already reported it but it’s unlikely I’ll get any of it back. And my rational side knows they are professionals in what they do, but the rest of me is just doubting my intelligence and self-trust. I have a great support system but I can’t stop crying and my heart hurts so much.
Thank you very much, really
Edit; spelling
infectedtwin: I just watched "Don't Pick Up Your Phone" on Netflix. It's a documentary about people getting convinced to do some wild things via a phone call.
It's not really the same situation but they go into the psychology of the experience. People that pull these scams are very aware of the psychology behind it.
mrSalamander: If a call does not come from a saved contact, I do not answer calls. Even on my work phone.
Figgy20000: This is the 2nd best advice.
The first best advice is to put yourself on the no call list so everyone one of these unsolicited calls is even more suspicious.
| 6 | 22.666667 |
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