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1671084963 | 1671085551 | t3_zmdzsp | t5_2to41 | 12 | Sea-Rough3152: TIFU by accidentally intentionally logging on to my ex boyfriends instagram
I was drunk and bored and one thing led to another. By accidentally intentionally logging in I mean that I had his Disney plus log in, user name and password, and though there was no chance it would even work but hey fuck it I got nothing better to do. Well to my coincidental luck, i was logged in. I did what any girl would do and I went to the DMs. I knew he was hiding something. This is unrelated but I had been having these reoccurring dreams about him leaving me for his ex over the course of two years we were together and I had the same one when I woke up that morning. It felt like fate honestly. I feel guilty for invading privacy. Say what you want I know that’s bad on me. But ignorance should have been bliss in this situation and I saw messages from when we were dating that he was saying I love you I still miss you. It hurt to read it. Even though I broke up. It stung. More than the break up. It affirmed feelings I knew but were assured weren’t there. I fucked up. I never thought it would log me in but it did. Fools luck. Be careful out there.
TL:dr was in a silly gooofy mood and used his Disney plus log in to log into his instagram thinking there’s no chance in hell it would actually work. To my surprise it did and I found messages that he was sending to his ex for over a year
Exact_Initiative7660: Even more of a fuck up that it’ll probably tell him there was an unexpected log in to his account. Fuck around and find out, don’t go looking for stuff you don’t wanna know, etc.
It’ll pass though and you learned a good lesson even though it’s probably giving you that shitty stomach pain. Thoughts are with you, homie
Sea-Rough3152: Haha yeah exactly when it went through I had an oh shit moment. I ain’t going back. I ended up telling him. He would have figured it out
Exact_Initiative7660: Empower yourself by making your own Disney plus account. I wouldn’t continue to talk to him though, probably dragging on the suffering that way
| 4 | 3 | |
1671104425 | 1671115403 | t3_zmdk6z | t5_2to41 | 21 | NoObstacle: Can you explain why you think it's unethical? (without resorting to 'if you don't already know, you're a monster')
plfntoo: An educational professional suggested that a student commit fraud. The professional thinks it's okay because they basically share a "family style" relationship with the student.
The professional has a poor understanding of appropriate relationships and conversations.
NoObstacle: Some dorm contracts trap young people who don't understand contract law into shitty contracts and charge for releasing them. Someone providing them advice on how to fight this system seems like a good thing.
plfntoo: > providing them advice on how to fight this system seems like a good thing
Not if the advice is "crime"
mook1178: Fraud and crime...LOL
No one is going to prosecute any of this. At most, they'll get hit with a breach of contract fee.
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1671086120 | 1671147690 | t3_zmebrq | t5_2to41 | 41 | sspaceboiii: TIFU by helping someone with a disability
So this happened about 20 minutes ago and I’m reeling with anxiety. So a bit of a disclaimer that nothing major happened or this isn’t a really major TIFU compared to some other stories on this page.
So basically on my walk to work from the station there is a part of the footpath that is quite narrow on a bridge that goes over a train track. The path along that bridge is quite bumpy and there is this small uneven patch onto the bridge that has a ramp on an angle. When I was walking from work to the station I notice a person in an electronic wheelchair waving at me. As I am approaching I ask if they need help and they nod. When I walk up to them I realise that they must be deaf, and I do not speak sign language. The man starts trying to signal that he wants me to hold his chair while he pushes it forward so that it doesn’t fall onto the road. I am a complete spoon who doesn’t realise what he is trying to communicate. So i think he is trying to ask me to hold the wheelchair and use the stick to push him forward at the same time over the bump. Which I try to do (I know, I am a complete and utter moron).
The man then makes a noise and brushes my hand away. It would have stressed him out. He then shows me he wants me to hold the arm rest which I do to stable him while he pushes the wheelchair forward.
I feel like a complete idiot and although I was trying to help I realised I am a complete moron. Lesson learnt! Always communicate “is this what you are wanting me to do” when someone is asking for help but there is a communication barrier.
There was a nice lady who was walking behind me and we watched to make sure he got across safely. I said I felt bad that I didn’t understand what he wanted properly and I didn’t speak sign language. She made me feel a bit better when she said that it’s ok and he got across safely which is what matters, but I still feel useless.
I should have realised he would never want me to move him forward.
TLDR: I helped someone cross a bump on a bridge but didn’t do it in the best way.
MrScrib: Oh god, you tried to take what little agency that person had, as if they hadn't gotten to that spot all on their own and only needed your peripheral help to get passed a specific obstacle. Instead, you tried to take full control, even though you likely have far less knowledge on how chairs like that actually work.
Except they were able to stop you and direct you to help in exactly the way they required. Sounds like they had a win despite the communication limits you were both operating under.
BirdsongBossMusic: Am in a wheelchair. Some parts of the path are harder than others and sometimes we need help for those parts and not for the others. Presuming he understood what was being asked, he accepted the help (by nodding) so OP didn't do anything wrong. It would be much different if he said no and OP tried to grab him anyway (which really is taking our agency away), but that isn't what happened. He accepted the help because he needed the help, and OP tried to help to the best of their ability. I sure as hell feel relieved when I don't have to tackle the worst parts of the path on my own. Even if the person helping messes up somehow (like, idk, wheeling me through nasty food that i have to put my hands on later) they're still helping me so I'm still grateful.
MrScrib: Never said OP did anything wrong. My first paragraph was an acknowledgement of the anxiety OP may have felt. Second was why that anxiety is misplaced.
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1671086636 | 1671193302 | t3_zmegx5 | t5_2to41 | 54 | Economy_Race158: TIFU by trying to help a drunk girl
so i F19 met a girl also F19 through mutual friends earlier tonight while on a night out she seemed nice and we were having lots of fun until we ended up at different nightclubs after. A few hours later i leave the nightclub i was at with other friends and see her as me and a friend are walking back to my apartment. she seemed fine, quite drunk but was more concerned about me getting home safely (i told her i was fine and only lived a minute away). fast forward about an hour and a bit and me my friend hear a girl screaming from the middle of the road (we were back at my apartment with the windows shut) so i opened the window and tried to shout at her, not recognising her as the girl from earlier. my friend did not know her but recognised the clothes she was wearing from earlier when we left the nightclub and saw her, friend pointed out who it was so i decided i needed to help her as she was alone, crying and screaming.
after much difficulty i managed to get her into my apartment building so i could try to sort her out with water and a bed if she needed it. she was extremely drunk and was making no sense when i tried asking what the matter was. i got her into my apartment and tried to get her into my livingroom so she could sit or lie on my sofa however she fell in my hallway and decided to stay there for the duration of her stay. this would all be fine except she was screaming at the top of her lungs for her other friends i tried and tried to explain that i didn’t know where her friends were but they definitely were not in my apartment building. i gave her water, introduced her to my friend and let her know what had happened and that she was safe. also it is important to note that she definitely knew who i was she was not drunk when we met and knew my name and other stuff about me when in my apartment so she couldn’t have thought she was unsafe or that i was a stranger.
she did not stop screaming and i kept telling her i have neighbours and i was trying to call our friends and trying to find out where they were but she would not stop screaming. she apologised a few times and let me know it wasn’t directed at me but she really wanted her friends or mostly her boyfriend. at this point i was worried one the neighbours would call the police, she didn’t have her phone she said it was with her boyfriend so i tried to give her my phone to call it but she didn’t know her own number or anyone else’s. i tried to ask where she lived to arrange a taxi as i was realising i couldn’t look after her in her state and she also didn’t know where she lived. she wanted to go out to find her friends so i agreed me and my friend would go out and try to look for them with her, i really just needed her out of my apartment because it was 5am and she was screaming bloody murder.
i opened the door she proceeded to crawl out of my apartment still screaming for no reason and then apologising for screaming. as she was stumbling down my stairs my friend murmured something about her being a bitch to which she said drunkly “say it to my face” she was now at the bottom of my stairs where there is an emergency fire button and decided she was going to try and pull it. i wasn’t sure if this was on purpose but i grabbed her hands so she couldn’t and she kept trying so i pushed her out the door (not too forcefully i didn’t want to hurt her at all)
there was one more door until she was out but she sat down and refused to leave and carried on screaming again. i was holding the door open asking her to leave when her boyfriend whom i recognised as such from earlier ran in and apologised. he got her to leave but on her way out she tried to pull another fire alarm this one had a cover so i held it shut after i saw her trying to go for it. anyway lovely girl, lovely night
TL;DR let a drunk girl into my apartment and she wouldn’t stop screaming, will be sending apologies letters to the neighbours tomorrow
bestofwhatsleft: I've seen people go absolutely insane when enough drunk. I can't for the life of me understand why they keep drinking.
immibis: It's a form of indoctrination or something. Everyone thinks it's cool or they need it to have fun. Probably a megacorp advertising thing, like smoking.
jaffa3811: nah, it can be quite an enjoyable experience. though if I was as out of control as she was I'd quit myself. I hope I would anyway.
immibis: Smoking also seems to be an enjoyable experience.
Being hung over doesn't. Passing out doesn't.
jaffa3811: if you get hungover and black out every time you drink then you're either an alcoholic or a teenager who makes bad decisions.
I'm talking about a few pints to unwind with your friends.
| 6 | 9 | |
1671090568 | 1671146412 | t3_zmfj36 | t5_2to41 | 8 | priscilaa69: TIFU : buying Disneyland tickets for my boyfriend and I
Sooo to give you guys a little background Disneyland sweethearts night is an event that happens every February around valentines day , it's basically a night for couples to enjoy Disneyland with Valentine's Day decor. This morning the tickets went on sell and my boyfriend bought them without telling me. However, he wanted to keep it a surprised and told me they were all sold out and I believed him for a couple of hours. Then at around 9pm I saw this girl post on TikTok that tickets were still on sell and I impulsively went on the Disneyland website and checked to see if it was real and it was and I impulsively bought them. Then I told him I bought the tickets with hella excitement and then he told me he had bought them and wanted it to be a surprise for Christmas.
Now I feel horrible and don't know how to make it up to him.. I feel like I ruined Christmas but I genuinely wanted to surprise us and was just really excited.
Please help.
TLDR : bought Disneyland tickets and messed up boyfriends surprise.
ExtremePast: *for me and my boyfriend
priscilaa69: That’s what you took from the thread 😭
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1671092923 | 1671112578 | t3_zmg3za | t5_2to41 | 4 | throwaway83838838: TIFU by gaming too long
I a college student was chilling in my dorm after finals. I was playing some games as I knew I might not be able to play during break. After finishing up around 30 minutes ago I got up from my seat and immediately needed to piss. Confused I was like well I’ll just shower at the same time so I started to get my stuff together rushing more and more as the urge grew. However, I took too long. I pissed myself. Idk what to do now. At least it’s in my room. I guess I should have known better since my bladder really sucks, but regardless I now have a puddle of piss that is being soaked up by both the carpet and a towel cause I had nothing else. I am really glad I don’t have a roommate.
TLDR: gamed too long and ended the session suddenly needing to piss. I didn’t make it to the toilet and now there is piss on the carpet.
LeanOnGreen: Press X to doubt.
FE_2004: I think we had the same idea
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1671099901 | 1671131301 | t3_zmhv4u | t5_2to41 | 232 | DocJack710: TIFU by taking a job that I really shouldn't have
Tfu was earlier this week.
So I (26m) have a disability called Spina Bifida and it basically makes physical work very hard on me and any work I do has to be part-time. My former retail job was easy enough. Just regular front end duties. My schedule unfortunately got reduced to 8 hours a week and that obviously wasn't gonna be enough to keep the bills paid.
So I took a job in the stockroom of a secondhand store and it's terrible. I have to lift heavy boxes all the time along with having to run around putting up the products on the shelves. I just feel like it's not a matter of if I get hurt, but when. I really put myself in a bad spot
tl;Dr
I put myself at a major risk of injury by accepting a very physically demanding job while being disabled
Update: I'm gonna be transferred to a different position in the store next week at the latest. I still have a job!
Soy_Exempt: Tell your higher up and find a new job or get relocated to a different position in the same company
DocJack710: I'll do that today
Soy_Exempt: Update us and feel free to name and shame as long as you are smart enough to include a different e-mail in your cv not related to your socials
OldHerrHugo: Assuming this is the US, ADA offers a lot of protections. Ask for "reasonable accommodations," which may include more frequent breaks.
cedarpangolin: That only counts if you are transparent before being hired i believe, you can’t pretend to be healthy and then complain that you’re not and need accommodations a week later…. I don’t think…. Even if you could that’s not very ethical lol
OP: glad you’re getting moved to a more suited area!
greenmachine11235: Not true, you can choose to disclose a disability at any time. The ADA makes provisions for 'reasonable accommodations' it doesn't mean you are protected if your accommodations would prevent you from doing the job. It's a fine line and companies tend to err on giving more accommodations as ADA lawsuits go bad real quick for companies.
cedarpangolin: Interesting. I’ve had 11 jobs so far and every one has asked if you have a disability and need accommodations and that all information provided on the app is true to the best of your knowledge or you consent to legal ramifications.
Don’t see how it could be different in the USA at least… weird.
bros402: That checkbox is for EEOC
| 9 | 25.777778 | |
1671099824 | 1671132716 | t3_zmhuha | t5_2to41 | 545 | wewo17: TIFU by bringing a second glue to the toilet
(second glue = superglue / instant glue)
So this happened many years ago when I was about eleven or twelve.
I was home alone, after school, my mother wasn't back home from work yet (we lived together only two of us). I know it's not a good habit, but I used to bring something to read to the toilet, usually books, magazines... (this was before smartphones were a thing)
But this time, I don't know why, I decided that I will use the time on the toilet more productively. I had a small rabbit figure made of porcelain, that my grandma gave me for the Easter some time ago. It looked something like this: [https://imgur.com/a/d3dO3](https://imgur.com/a/d3dO3)
Its ears broke off one day. So I decided I will fix it. While taking a shit. I know. I took a superglue to the toilet and as I was sitting and gluing the ears to the rabbit's head, a drop of glue dropped down on my... private parts. Just on the side of my dick. It really was a superglue, because I didn't even have time to react and it was immediately glued to my right thigh.
I had no idea what to do, I was really shocked and I was just desperately waiting. It was glued so uncomfortably that I couldn't stand up from the toilet to walk (to be honest, I think I didn't even try). The glue was pouring from the tube and my fingers were glued together. I decided I can at least try to wipe my ass and deal with my private parts later, but of course the toilet paper was also glued to my fingers... It was a total mess.
My mother arrived home few minutes after that, when I was still sitting on the toilet. I told her what happened and she burst into big laugh, having trouble to stay standing on her legs as she thought it was very hilarious. She then brought some alcohol make-up remover or something like that and helped me dissolve the glue. All the time she was grinning and telling me what a stupid fucked-up idea that was. (Now when I think of it, I could un-glue it by myself, I don't know why she was doing it but I didn't find it very weird back then). Of course I was very ashamed by this awkward situation, so thanks to gods that I didn't get a spontaneous erection, because that would be very painful when my dick was still attached to my thigh :D
To this day this story is brought up on family reunions and it is very popular. By the way, both the rabbit and my dick are fine, although the chemicals left a small stain on my skin.
​
TLDR; I tried to fix a broken porcelain figure with superglue while taking a shit, glued my penis to the thigh and had pretty awkward time when my mother helped me un-glue it.
​
​
edits: typos and wording, changed "second glue" to "superglue". "Second glue" is a word-by-word translation of how we call the thing in my native language :)
(English is not my first language so sorry for weird choosing of words and mistakes!)
​
\[repost, as I originally posted this 5 years ago during the weekend, when it broke rule 4 and it seems it was moderated and never published here\]
JamesLeBond: Wait... I can't get beyond "second glue"... what happened with the first glue?
InkJ3lood: I'm not sure but i think he means superglue. The Germans say Sekundenkleber. This means word for word translated second glue...
wewo17: That's right, also in my native language. I checked by googling pictures of "second glue" and got correct results. The idea is, the glue works in a second 😃
Rub-it: You still remember the rule you broke 5 years ago?
wewo17: There was a moderator reply in the original post, with reason why the post was not published. Because of a reasons I am not at all aware of, a post like this can't be posted during weekends 🤷🏼
I found the original post today and I decided to post it again 🙂
| 6 | 90.833333 | |
1671101742 | 1671102312 | t3_zmibxv | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking it was the last day on earth and getting my dick sucked by my sister
[deleted]
JustTrixxy: Yeah I’ve seen that episode of Rick and Morty too.
Lil-Crackpotplant: Yeah still liked the one where the alien and Mike Tyson sang a duet while being started at by a naked phlangi
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1671073106 | 1671383080 | t3_zmaan0 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Busy_Accountant_2839: TIFU by having butter fingers
This happened 3 days ago.
We had a late Thanksgiving dinner so lots of leftovers still around. Home alone, I decided to indulge myself in a hearty bowl of mashed potatoes and fresh gravy I cooked up on the spot. As well as nicely buttered biscuit made by my MiL. Nobody to judge, I was going big.
I sat down with my carby feast, eager to dig in. But I obvs can’t eat a meal without browsing Reddit, so I reach for my phone. But my fingers are buttery from the biscuit, and phone slips instantly out of my hand. It falls ass first right into the mashed potatoes and gravy.
I’m not proud of this next part, but it’s what’s real. I’ve got my hot lunch, my warm biscuit, the anticipation of this indulgence having built up since morning when I joyfully sent my family off to work and school. I ain’t got no time to be messing with this mess. It’s gonna take attention that I don’t have, all of my focus being solely on the food in front of me.
I picked up the phone, and I….heartily licked the business end of the phone. I slurped it up, stuck my tongue into all the crevices and crannies. That savory gravy releasing from the plastic case. Those bits of mashed potatoes clinging to the charging port.
I Reddited, and I ate. And it was delicious.
End of lunch, stuffy phone butt long forgotten, I returned to my home office to finish out the work day.
Each night I put my kids to bed with a meditation. We sit in the dark and listen to a meditative story while they drift off to sleep. Been doing this for over a decade, every night without fail. I queue up the meditation and start playing.
It’s not ok. It’s real bad. The narrator sounds like they’re meters under water struggling for us to hear their calming voice, but the muffled sound adds a hint of panic. The kids ask what’s wrong. I remind them this is a “no taking” time and geniusly pull out my earring to dig dried-up mash plugs out of the speaker holes. This doesn’t work at all. The kids seem genuinely concerned about the voice in my phone, having heard this woman thousands of nights throughout their entire lives. I can’t bear to tell them the truth. I’m their mother, they shouldn’t have to imagine me carpet munching my iPhone.
It’s been 3 nights of this, but I think the worst part is that I never remember this needs to be addressed until I’m heading into their bedroom each night. All day I sit here, phone nearby, completely not remembering that it’s constipated with taters and gravy.
Tonight I happened to remember as bedtime is approaching in an hour. They’ll ask me again if she’s ok. I’ll assure them again that she’s fine. I’ll make a mental promise that I’ll fix it tomorrow. I’ll forget. Hopefully you all can help me remember.
TL;DR: Dropped my phone in mashed potatoes and gravy and now the speakers don’t work. Children are mildly traumatized. Must either give phone a sitz bath and hope I can Sonicare out the remains, or I need to make a “genius” appointment. Wish me luck at bedtime.
Noidremained: you know you can tell them the truth without mentioning the "carpet munching" part, right?
Busy_Accountant_2839: You know this is creative non-fiction, right?
| 3 | 1 | |
1671110453 | 1671155964 | t3_zmjalp | t5_2to41 | 549 | possible_showers: I'm barely on any social media, but I think I will look into this. Thank you.
Pandalite: You don't even need to start with the walking exercise right now if you're not physically able to walk, a lot of people's knees are not capable structurally of bearing 550 lbs without complaint. You can start with upper body exercise. The food is the killer, no amount of exercise will burn off a 1000 kcal surplus, humans are very efficient marathon runners; we used to chase animals over days till they got exhausted and we could kill them.
Start with the food. Simplest thing to do is to make one takeout meal last 2 meals instead of 1. Put in vegetables as the filler. No snacks- substitute celery sticks or even carrots (some carbs but way better than chips) for the snacks.
sunshineparadox_: Seconding this. I have long COVID and my lungs aren’t healed anywhere near enough. I finally lost the sciatica pain from being bedbound for months. However that meant I messed up a handful of times with going too hard; if I’m not hurting than I can breathe, right? Of course not. I can walk slowly for about two miles but only sometimes and if it’s cold because of my inability to regulate my own temperature. I’m going out in 35 degree weather in t-shirts.
I’m overweight. I’ve dropped 30 so far of my 80. I’m sick as hell still. I really and genuinely cannot exercise or I’ll wake up with a RHR of 180 and be too afraid to use the bathroom because I’m already seeing black spots and having trouble. Peeing raises your heart rate slightly. But slightly is a big deal when you have no extra room.
Start with the food. Smaller plates and eating slowly helped me multiple times before. And focusing on things that will actually fill you. And don’t go way too hard like straight to 1500 or whatever the bottom amount is for men. (I’m 5’2” and female, when I was thin my TDEE was 1350. So I have no ducking idea.) I’d calculate my TDEE in this case - there are calculators online - and reduce by 200 or something.
Alternatively, any junk is stuff you don’t buy anymore. It’s easier to not snack or graze if the food isn’t in the home. And definitely also delete food delivery apps. That screwed me a few times. It’s tempting. Even when I don’t get “that much” it was all stuff I didn’t need. Junk. Stuff that didn’t keep me full.
And definitely get therapy. There’s more going on here.
HildegardofBingo: Are you in r/covidlonghaulers?
sunshineparadox_: I am. I’m in that one and longcovid. I don’t know what I’d have done without online communities around it.
HildegardofBingo: It's such a good community! From what you describe, it sounds like you're having POTS symptoms?
sunshineparadox_: Actually I don’t think so in this case. I hammered out chores I could no longer ignore but I didn’t take it easy. Normally I wake up ok, just tired still. My biggest symptoms are the CFS and ME. I also had significant pre-existing lung damage - eight years for asbestos, 19 for second hand smoke including in small spaces when I or others had respiratory illnesses including ducking pleurisy, and 6 for nuclear waste (no one believes that one but there’s a plant out in WA that manufactured arms and the waste was both in the groundwater and water source directly). So I wasn’t in a strong place for any of it.
The others are the inability to regulate temperature, sweating a LOT, brain damage to memory and language functions (too little oxygen for too long), and oscillating between having a food palate that was new after waking up or hating everything. And smelling cigarette smoke everywhere even my skin. I did I even HAVE that symptom. Or maybe I did. I was out for three weeks.
HildegardofBingo: Oh, man, that's rough! I'm sure Covid really exacerbated what your poor lungs were already dealing with! I wonder if nebulizing glutathione would help (it's anti-inflammatory and helps to improve the antioxidant status of the tissue).
Yeah, the smelling cigar smoke thing is neurological. Is there anyone in your area that uses cold laser/low level laser therapy? Some chiropractors are using it for neuroinflammation and brain injury- it might be worth looking into. I think a lot of long haulers are going to need to be treated as if they have a brain injury because they actually do.
sunshineparadox_: Part of my degree was the science behind language acquisition and while I fucking hate this, I have a decent idea of what happened to my brain. However I also have a six year old and watching her own language acquisition is cool as fuck especially since she’s at a table with kids speaking both Farsi and Spanish. They made a fucking pidgin to handle math and word assignments. That’s so freaking cool.
I would have to find a good chiropractor. I had one but my mom at one point texted me, “don’t go there anymore.” She was also a client. She won’t tell me. That makes me believe it was really serious. I had one while pregnant and it did help a lot. I doubled up with PT.
And yeah I don’t think people realize how many organs COVID really touches. Brain is one. People were shocked I suddenly had heart problems. My blood pressure in actual active labor, pushing even was mid normal. Then I had blood pressure high enough for a stroke.
Heart, lungs, intestines, brain, thyroid, kidneys all took a hit. My stomach already sucked so idk there. I do live in an area that both has focused on clinical medicine and alternative methods. So I don’t doubt I could find any of these things and they wouldn’t be far. Thank you for the suggestions!
HildegardofBingo: One of my best friends ended up with heart valve damage from a mild case of Covid. She started randomly passing out and it turned out her heart valve would just let blood randomly drain out of her heart.
I'm reading about a lot of people finding out their kidneys are damaged or now have cysts. I even saw a paper about how radiologists should start screening for Covid-related kidney damage before doing certain kinds of contrast imaging so that they don't accidentally further damage their kidneys.
PS- feel free to reach out if you need any help finding good practitioners in your area. I have a lot of personal experience as an alternative and functional medicine patient and I've also helped create patient education courses for a neuroimmunology PhD who specializes in using functional medicine for treating brain-related disorders and autoimmune conditions. :)
sunshineparadox_: I don’t know what was wrong but I got a very strong feeling the month after waking that I needed oxygen. I got an indifferent pulmonologist who told me to just lose weight. I’m down 30 and she’s actually said it’s not good enough (180ish, slightly less now). Do it more. So I bought an Oxygenator off the internet from not a professional - since the Rx would need to have come from her. It was one of the strongest feelings I’ve ever had. And my stats improved when I did. Blood pressure would go down. I wasn’t breathing shallowly anymore. Etc.
I will look but I will also reach out if I need it. Thank you so much!!
| 11 | 49.909091 | |
1671113271 | 1671332742 | t3_zmlx72 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by jumping into my pants
[deleted]
SomeDude3599: minor oopsies
Panda_Girl_19: Pretty minor yea
SomeDude3599: was your ancle fractured? Forgor to ask
Panda_Girl_19: Just sprained, pretty bad though
SomeDude3599: well that'd atleast better than breaking it
Panda_Girl_19: Yeq
SomeDude3599: 👍
Panda_Girl_19: 😋
| 9 | 1.666667 | |
1671114270 | 1671164317 | t3_zmmaui | t5_2to41 | 207 | Wafflesfortheday: TIFU by "ruining" a friendship
I just got home from an exhausting day, and all I wanna do is chat with some of my good friends. Our Christmas party is comin up and we discussed what we wanna wear and what we will do during the program. Some of the people that were also coming participated in our discussion.
After all of that happened, one of our friends asked us if we wanted to go out after the party since it's Christmas break after and we won't be seeing each other until the very first week of January. Most of my friends agreed. I wanted to come and bond with them too, although there was one small problem, a relative is having a birthday party and if one of us misses it, our dad would probably kill us.
After knowing about this birthday party that we have to attend, I of course told my friends that I can't come. After they read it, they instantly told me "Yea u always miss the days where we all go out, we are already used to it so we don't care." Of course it was a harsh thing to say and I felt disappointed that, that's what they felt after all these years of friendship.
Everytime they ask me out I agree and join them and sometimes I also don't because I am unavailable and I can't do anything about since it's a family gathering. Then they started throwing insults to me and I thought they were joking and all but it still hurts like a knife piercing through my trust. I mean I try to make effort everytime they ask me out on a fun day but not everytime I am available.
Now I am here worried of what will happen since our friendship is at risk and I don't want to lose them.
TL;DR - some friends asked me out for a fun day outside but I can't go with them since there is a big family gathering and now they are bad mouthing me.
DaClems: The problem is letting family and friends guilt trip and obligate you into doing something you don't want to be doing. You make the choice of where you want to be, no one else should influence you. Fuck guilt trippers, cut them out of your life.
blodskaal: Both sides are guilt tripping you into attending. Shitty all around. I would tell everyone to fuck right off. Do what you want to do. But your friends are shitty for putting you into a spot. Your dads shitty for not considering what you wanna do.
Fester_The_DJ_1: That's somewhat like my own life, TBH. My family members have all passed away.
Friends come and go like the tide. I frequently overhear them talking about the most recent big party they attended.
Whenever I mention or ask why I wasn't invited, they play dumb, "Oh we didn't mean to do that. I may have believed it in the beginning, but not anymore.
One may expect that kind of behavior from kids, but not from SENIOR CITEZENS IN ASSITSED LIVING??!!?? I guess some people just never grow up.
| 4 | 51.75 | |
1671126248 | 1671213255 | t3_zmr68h | t5_2to41 | 1,349 | TIFU03949494: TIFU by getting fired from my engineering job for sexual harassment (two small comments I made to a female colleague)
[removed]
Heisenbergwaltuh: No way this isn't bait
gsixzero: It 100% is
Poppertina: Having worked in the industry, this absolutely could be 100% genuine and he could still be as clueless as to why it's his fault.
AleGolem: Possible but there's been a weird uptick in toxic misogynistic TIFU posts this week. There's this one, one where some dude told his black wife to bleach her skin so she'd be prettier and one from someone on the bleeding edge of attempted rape who wouldn't stop harassing their victim until they forgave him.
ramenramenramen__: i need the sauce pls
omniverso: Youre in TIFU. Just scroll a little bit.
ramenramenramen__: cant find it⚰️😔
| 8 | 168.625 | |
1671126186 | 1671356870 | t3_zmr5du | t5_2to41 | 16 | throwaway011x0: TIFU by ordering dominos
I am absolutely devastated to have to write this because I have been an avid domino's customer for over 3 years, but there is mystery meat in my pasta. My order was a build-your-own pasta with cheddar cheese & bacon, stuffed cheesy bread, 2 marinara sauces, and a 2 liter coke. I was sitting down enjoying my food and I started to really get into specifically the pasta, under I took a bite and I swallowed something that literally had the consistency of a booger. I don't know why I swallowed and I couldn't process to spit it out before I had already swallowed. After that I looked in my pasta and I found chunks of.. I don't even know what. one looks like a chunk of straight up meat fat. I really don't know how to describe what I'm seeing. I then went to go make myself throw up. Now I'm here. What should I do? Do I call them?
Do I throw it away? Advice greatly appreciated.
TL;DR : I found chunks of mystery meat in my build-your-own pasta dish from Dominos.
Smiler-48: You should re-title this to “TIFU by ordering anything besides pizza from domino’s”
Didisaythatoutloud72: The title should be “TIFU by ordering from Dominos”. Their hand washing skills are even worse than the people that work at Subway.
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1671128047 | 1671130655 | t3_zmrwmy | t5_2to41 | 6 | quyhai: TIFU my 2 years of effort by leaving a vape in the backpack
I'm a Vietnamese university student that would commute back and forth from living at my dorm to my parents house every weekend. I would often bring only one backpack consisting of my necessities whenever I go back to my parents house, nothing more. My parents are the strict type that enforce many rules between me to them and the most serious one which was to not use any substances whatsoever - this includes even the most mundane thing such as coffee. As the title implied, as immature as I am, I rebelled. My parents thought they would be sending me off to live in dorm for good - to practice being independent but all I see was the freedom I have to do whatever wanted. It was hard to see, but over time I developed this defense mechanism where lying would become a habit of mine as long I could stay away from any troubles with my parents or anyone at all cost. At a certain point, I would even believe in my own lies as I strongly thought the feelings of anger or sadness is a bad thing and that I should avoid them at all cost. Sooner or later, I learnt that this way if thinking only backfires me even stronger. So here I am today, writing this story practicing to be true to myself, accepting the fact that I feel like shit, and gives zero f about chasing happiness at this point. I used to smoke weed the summer I was 15, my parents was suspicious of what I did the way that I behaved and acted the days after each time I hung out with my friends. One day, they decided to drug test me, my dad was even standing inside the bathroom to proctor the procedure in case I used fake urine. I knew I fucked up badly but I couldn't say anything as the THC indicator slowly becoming more and more visible and my anxiety was going on an exponential growth every second. I violated the strictest rule of the family, I got sent off to the middle of nowhere where my grandparents live without any technical devices - no phone, tablet, laptop, nothing. It was one of the grimmest time of my life where I would feel the urge to suicide everyday and I can't even tell anyone. My parents would be the last people I would come to for expressing my feelings as they would just deem it to be weak, unappreciative of their effort to raise me, and disrespectful. My eyes urged to cry as I recall back on these moments to write this. I don't even know how I survived that tbf, I was just gone for a month during school and none of my friends knew where did I go nor what happened at all. Fast forward a year and a half where everything settled down a bit and I can look straight in my parents eyes without any fear at all - things were good at this point, the habits of working out saved me during this time since it really took a lot of the anxiety and stresses away and the pain that I look forward to in the workout is still better than the pain of what happened. It was a big fuck up, but it taught me a thing or two. I also got a girlfriend although she lived all the way off in the States, we knew each other when she used to live in Vietnam and decided to get in a long distance relationship. I worked hard in highschool to have a chance to go to the States for university, and today, 3 years after the weed incident, I fucked up again, using substance - vaping for about 4-5 months recently and thinking it was okay since it's just vape. Today I go back to my parents home, leaving an expired disposable vape in the side of the backpack and my parents found out. I saw a whole world of effort that I built collapse in front of my eyes. My journey to the States, the highschool work, the college essay, the university that just accepted me, all the follow-up work, VISA interview tomorrow, all just collapsed in a blink of an eye. God knows what my parents could do. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't thought of all the possibilities, I could be going rehab camps anytime, I could be sent off to anywhere, I can be disowned, be in the army by tomorrow morning, everything just all pressured up on me, I started feeling suicidal, I wanted to escape all of this. What is there left for me when my goal and purpose is crushed up in my own hands? I was so scared, I couldn't even speak to my mom at the time and looked at my dad in the eyes. I lost all trusts from my parents, again, it's impossible that I even have the chance to rebuild anything, my tears started streaming out - I collapsed under the pressure of my own thoughts, I fucked up everything I done of 2 years in one single day. I begged my mom to please forgive me and let me have my interview tomorrow and let me go to the States. I kept begging, I felt like and ant trying to lift a boulder - I can sense the impossibility of me even going anywhere at all. After 4 hours of constant crying going through all sort of arguments, explanations, threats, and an immeasurable amount if anxiety, my mom offered me the last chance - I can go to the interview tomorrow but I will be under her supervision for the rest of the time I am in Vietnam, she will monitor basically everything I do along with my dad. I couldn't care less, I took the deal, cried of relief knowing I still had the chance. It felt a bit better as I wrote this out and be honest with myself, but it still didn't change the fact that I still feel like shit not knowing what to do tomorrow as I wake up and see them again and all the hatred they would have for me as a disappointment and the useless of a human I am to them. I will stop trying to think of how to make things normal again at this point, but rather accepting how shits are and that I fucked up hard today and it will take a long time to regain their trust.
TL;DR I still able to go to the interview and go to the States but it still doesn't change the fact that my relationship to my parents is still shit.
livvybugg: Yikes
shaferz: double yikes.
| 3 | 2 | |
1671131043 | 1671133914 | t3_zmt4d4 | t5_2to41 | 67 | ImpressiveComputer48: TIFU By venting on reddit
[removed]
gabby0197: https://reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/zmmcge/my_brother_in_law_is_extorting_me/
OP’s life is ruined because they cheated.
ETA: Thanks for the award! If anyone wants the highlights, just comment here and ask me. I’ve got her best (worst?) comments ready to link. She is a real life monster. Check under your bed for her.
ImpressiveComputer48: wtf why are you getting awards and not me? i literally just lost everything what the fuck redditors are so disgusting
TigzyGee: Why is she getting an award, because she's informing people the truth, not trying to censor the truth to garner sympathy. Plus she deserves it, infact I was the one who awarded it and I'll award her a 2nd one right now
gabby0197: We should be friends, dawg. Lol
I think I’m up to four awards now.
deezballsjrjr: Lmaoooo congratulationssssss i mean you were speaking facts and she got so mad😭😭
gabby0197: I hope she stays mad 😝
deezballsjrjr: Lmao i think she ran away from reddit 😭😭
gabby0197: I think you’re the “one person” OP refers to in the last half in her post here.
> There was one person that was defending me but they swithced up and decided to join the Petra hate train like everyone else in this world.
Also, I guess her name is Petra.
deezballsjrjr: LMFAOOOOO SAME I WAS THINKING THAT TOO AND I WAS LIKE IS SHE REFERRING TO ME????
| 10 | 6.7 | |
1671131841 | 1671211060 | t3_zmtfxk | t5_2to41 | 83 | MissIsabelPedraza: TIFU by nearly *doing it* with my cousin
[removed]
GregoryGregory666666: And the tall tales just keep on showing up in here.
Xeni966: There's way more than usual lately too
| 3 | 27.666667 | |
1671132476 | 1671146996 | t3_zmtp6o | t5_2to41 | 24 | bigkbrewer: TIFU By Accessing My College’s Admission Database
I don’t know if I’m actually in trouble or not, but I recently took a job hosting prospective students with my roommate for the college that I go to. The college uses an application called Slate that keeps a database with information of students interested in the college, and because of my job, I knew I had access to these student’s information so I can learn about any student staying over before he’s here. Well, Slate doesn’t take students out of the list after they’ve been accepted, so I was curious about some of my class mates SATs, ACTs etc. and snooped around a bit. Anyways, I just got an email today sent from the college’s cyber security department notifying a number of students of a potential unauthorized access to its network and that certain data may have been subject to unauthorized access.
The email states “The information believed to be at risk includes individuals’ first and last names, in combination with other personal information kept in the normal course of business. The specific information for each individual will be listed in the notification letter you receive.”
It seems unlikely to me, but I’m nervous right now because I’m not sure if it’s related to my Slate snooping.
TL;DR
Might’ve fucked up by accessing my classmates test scores and other information from the admissions database
rayArtistimo: Sounds like it’s just a regular data breach. I wouldn’t be worried.
If they didn’t want you to look at it, they should not give you access to see it
WEEEBBER9999: Then again usually you'll sign the paper saying that you only use the database for your job. Not snooping.
rayArtistimo: Seems like it would be on the company/college for not removing that access. If they can’t control their access management, I doubt they are viewing log information on who views certain accounts
Throwaway4545232: Completely true, but to play devils advocate, it’s entirely possible that Slate doesn’t have the granularity of permissions you’re describing, or use the permissions from the SSO provider
Edit: never mind, looks like it does get that granular. https://technolutions.com/solutions/slate/security
It’s on the school’s infosec team to actually use these!
WEEEBBER9999: No that's not what I'm saying . I'm saying if OP needs to look up Joe Blow that is part of his job. If he looks up his friends just because that's not part of the job. That should of been ***CLEARLY*** explain and OP would of signed papers for that. It's all part of FERPA.
rayArtistimo: Totally OP shouldn’t have done that, I’m just saying that I’m guessing the notice wasn’t because of OP.
To be fair I have no idea and am just speculating so I could be waaaaaaay off
WEEEBBER9999: Look up FERPA I *might* know what I'm talking about ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
rayArtistimo: I’m not doubting your credibility at all.
I have done cybersecurity assessments for years and just because it’s a law doesn’t mean everyone follows it
WEEEBBER9999: True
| 10 | 2.4 | |
1671133947 | 1671145787 | t3_zmuar0 | t5_2to41 | 103 | Reclused_revolution: TIFU by not bringing enough tissues while flying which caused someone else with a. blood phobia to become sick.
Technically yesterday/ early this morning. I’m a college student trying to get home. With this, I had to use air travel.
Now i have many reasons to not enjoy flying, I don’t fit in the seats well, i’m not a super social person, and it’s overall stressful. But it had to be done.
At this point in the day, it was in the evening, and I had been on the road and waiting for most of the day, so i’m tired.
I should also note, i’ve been getting really bad nose bleeds, some have lasted for 15 minutes even. They started to get worse while I was at school and I don’t know why, i’m probably going to a doctor don’t scold me.
Also I was in an isle seat and there was one woman in the window seat in our section, the one next to us was full.
That being said I always have tissues in my backpack incase, this case was no different.
But apparently it wasn’t enough.
Cut to when we are taking off, i’m wearing a mask and just trying to nap a bit, when I feel it. I know that feeling well. So I take out a tissue, few minutes later, tissue is soaked, grab another tissue, gets soaked again. Nothing is working, not even pinching.
By this time i’m just praying so the seat belt sign to go off so I’m not causing a bio hazard to these people around me and I can go to the bathroom to deal with it. I give up on the mask finally and use it to hold said bloody tissues. That’s when I realize i’m down to 2 tissues.
I’m panicking as my nose has not stopped bleed at all. So I call a flight attendant, I then notice the woman in the isle next to me has noticed and she is not looking good. I only have one tissue left.
I then see a flight attendant coming down the isle, and I call them over asking for tissues/ or bag to hold the tissues as at this point i’m just holding the mask of tissues to my nose so I don’t get blood on anything. It’s literally just a mess of pooled blood soaked tissues pathetically held in a mask to prevent anything from getting anywhere.
He just kinda stops and looks at me before he gives me the spiel about leaning forward, and what not and to wait a minute.
The woman’s companions are trying to help her as she’s breathing heavily and is looking faint (later found out she is not a fan of blood). She then starts saying she’s going to throw up, and overall is panicking. Her friends are trying to get her to look away, and i’m trying to deal with my own mess so I don’t really even notice.
The flight attendant comes back and just tells me to go to the restroom to clean and control my bleeding, along with giving me a trash bag. So I go off to deal with my mess.
Apparently while I was in there this woman was so disturbed by the blood she had gotten really faint and had passed out from the bloody sight I had produced. So 2 flight attendants had to assist her. I found this out from someone who was close to my seat.
By the time I was done in the bathroom, it the whole mess had been cleaned up and I want back to my seat. 2 of the women (including the one who had gotten sick) had moved to the other side of the plane to avoid my mess (rightfully so).
They definitely gave me some dirty looks after we landed and i feel bad but I didn’t want to approach them.
TLDR: I got a bloody nose while flying ran out of tissues, which caused me to use my mask to try to pool the blood/ prevent a huge mess, which ended up causing a woman to pass out and get sick due to her fear/dislike of blood. Yes I feel terrible about.
TruthProfessional340: I’m really sorry that they made you feel bad about something that you absolutely can not control. It would have been the same as if you accidentally cut yourself and couldn’t control the bleeding. What an unfortunate place to get a nosebleed!
Reclused_revolution: I mean they can’t control their fear either. It was an big instance of wrong place wrong people. But yeah it definitely wasn’t ideal to have a nose bleed in such a small place.
TruthProfessional340: I agree, for instance if someone vomited near me I would also start. But I wouldn’t be mad at them or give them dirty looks.
Allie614032: This exactly! It’s not like you intentionally caused your nose to bleed, OP!
| 5 | 20.6 | |
1671137930 | 1671139555 | t3_zmvwln | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting scammed for a dick pic
[deleted]
Efficient-Zucchini41: r/thingsthatneverhappened
shadesofwolves: This is literally a common occurrence.
/r/nothingeverhappens
Efficient-Zucchini41: So common that no one falls for it anymore
shadesofwolves: Riiiight...because we're all a hive mind and learn from one another so directly.
Efficient-Zucchini41: Precisely
shadesofwolves: No, dude.
| 7 | 0.428571 | |
1671138982 | 1671212943 | t3_zmwcfg | t5_2to41 | 6 | nandyandthecouch: TIFU: Not Knowing How to Handle Opossum
I’m coming home from the restaurant as usual round 11:30pm. Pulling up to the wooden slide-in gate, overclicking the remote control, I barely notice the chunky creature perched directly on top of the middle of the gate. Thinking it may be a squirrel, I barely give thought to the fact that whatever it is, it’ll scurry off the gate now it’s being retracted. Having a double take on this dark evening, I notice that it’s something else, what is that?? Is that a small possum?? Why— how? Oh yes, this is California where possum are very common everywhere… this flurry of thoughts overcome me as the gate clunkily slides in more and more.
—Immediate flashback to the first time I saw a full grown opossum in a friends backyard, just feet away from me— —Flash to all the things I know about the Opossum, which is not very much, except that they’re a particularly freaky lookin animal that I need to come to terms with and learn how to actually handle given I now live in a state with a large population of them— —Flash to this little creature scurrying for his life to get off this moving gate.
It’s rushing towards where the gate is being pulled in, just behind the neighbors wooden fence, both of which stand almost six feet tall. I’m sitting in my car watching this whole thing happen with an intense anxiety and immobility— Why doesn’t it just jump down, is it too small? Is it too small to even make it in time? Why aren’t I putting the car in park and doing something about this?! Can I even touch a possum bare handed?!??
I’m stuck. Watching life unfold in front of me.
A slight shot of hope as the cute little thing makes it to the ledge of the neighbors fence, only to see it’s little legs get caught inside the passageway of the sliding gate. I’m worried for the life of me that it’s whole body is going to slide down that thing and get crushed or mutilated (I cringe even writing this account which only happened last night) as it’s lower body is continuously getting caught and tugged by this sliding gate into the passageway. Mind you, this whole event is happening within the span of 60 seconds and we’re about halfway through. All the Opossum needs to do is clutch those little hands and push itself out of the passageway using the stable part of the fence. But it seems as if it’s getting dragged lower and lower into the hell that would be this mechanical gate. Will a crushed, dead opossum be trapped or suffering in my gate for who knows how long? Is there enough space between the sliding gate and the fence for it to slip through and get away? Is it’s lower body currently being ripped to shreds??? Oh! I know! I’ll just use my clicker to stop the gate!!
F. F F F. THE CLICKER ONLY OPENS THE GATE!! WHY CANT I MOVE?!
Just when I think Opossum will be consumed by man made natural selection, the gate stops. Thank the heavens, the gate stops.
Right then Opossum lifts half its body up and out, but then the gate wants to close!! Oh no! What now! Part 2 of this torture scene?!?? But the gate stops again. Thank heavens, it stops again and it’s still.
The little possum slides up and out, finally getting it’s whole body onto the stable part of the fence. Thankfully, but still horribly, it’s only been scruffed and scratched up on it’s thighs and legs, no blood to be seen. It’s limping itself away from the fight for its life it just had. Halfway down, now perched on top of the door to the neighbors fence, licking its wounds.(I didn’t know possum could perch and move so comfortably on a center meter thick slab of wood. Nonetheless, I was glad. And sad. And thankful it made it and completely conflicted by this encounter. I hope it’s still okay now and that they really were just minor scratches. When I pulled into my driveway, nearly with tears in my eyes I said “God, give me the strength to handle all creatures on this planet with conviction and kindness.” At the very least it deserves to be eaten by some other wild animal.
I googled how to safely handle possum. Best to not touch Opossum bare handed, use a piece of clothing if you don’t have gloves. Grab it by the tip of its tail and move it slowly so it doesn’t turn its face toward you and bite. Possum bites can infect with rabies and other disease.
TL;DR : I waited too long to learn how to handle an Opossum and froze when a small one perched on my sliding gate was caught and nearly killed in the passageway of the gate and fence. Thankfully it got away with a limp.
Best not to touch and possums barehanded, their bite can infect w rabies.
Lurkerphobia: They are basically a bigger rat and they are normally more scared of you then you.are of them. Show yourself and make some noise and it will likely scurry off.
mrteng: Wait i thought they played dead instead 👀
Lurkerphobia: If you attack them they may but if you just make noise and they see you they will usually just take off.
I live by a grain elevator so I see them fairly frequently.
mrteng: I don't think we even have them in this country
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1671144992 | 1671158011 | t3_zmz0kx | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by not asking her age first
[removed]
pogiguy2020: Call 911 and turn yourself in, it is the only thing you can do now. If her daddy finds out you will rather be in jail.
RedditFuckedHumanity: You could have said parents, but you chose daddy
pogiguy2020: Typically a protective daddy will come after you. LOL I know was I not PC enough? Did I hurt anyones feelings?
ZankTheGreat: > I know was I not PC enough? Did I hurt anyone’s feelings?
Nah you didn’t hurt them, but you did show how *weird* you are. Who refers to someone else’s father as “daddy” in a non sexual sense?
Uselessmedics: Uh normal fucking people?
The sex daddy people are the fucking weirdos
| 6 | 1.833333 | |
1671145031 | 1671554408 | t3_zmz123 | t5_2to41 | -4 | catsarebitches: TIFU by being a PC gamer
Now, I'm a PC kinda guy. I've got myself a nice build, and there's nothin' I love more than sitting down, grabbing a cup of tea, coffee, or hot chocolate, and playing (as in losing) chess on the PC equivalent of a Ford Mustang.
Being a PC guy, I've got a battlestation. It's not very impressive, just an old desk, an office chair, some budget parts, and my PC. I have it in a room seperate from my TV, which my neglected Xbox is hooked up to. I rarely use it, and if I do, it's for Netflix. I don't use it for gaming; the controls feel weird, and hurt my hands.
So, when I felt the burning urge to play Halo 5, I slid over to my Xbox, and booted it for the first time in 2 weeks. If I had the option, I'd play on PC, but alas, Microsoft is a bitch. I started the game, but something was missing. My drink. I had already downed 2 coffees, and I wasn't in the mood for some earl gray, so I went and made my hot chocolate.
I got back, and played the worst Halo game made by Microsoft. The hot chocolate was quite hot, but not very chocolate. 4/10, do better. I got up from my epic gaming sesh to get food. Alas, the leftover lasagna distracted me. It was too good, and I left my game running. I went to my PC, and booted up Discord. After a long night of forgetting my Halo 5 game, I went to sleep.
A week later, I didn't notice anything. Two weeks, an odd smell. Three weeks later, and I feel like playing Halo 5 to see if my opinion on it would change. Hint; it did not. I boot it up, as the 10 year old 55" plasma lights up the room. I see that fateful black mug, spoon still in it. I look over at it, seeing that the chocolate has solidifed on top. The spoon was firmly lodged in, so I grab it and just gave it a little nudge. The chocolate barrier, my only protection from what was inside that mug, broke.
The smell hit me like a grenade. That milk had been sitting there, warm, for 3 weeks. I covered my nose, and took that mug upstairs. I put it in the sink, got the water as hot as possible, and blasted the thing with the power of $2/L oil heated tap water. I thought it was bad before, but when you heat 3 week old milk, let me tell you, it's not pleasant.
The chunks of milk were going down the drain, slowly. The chocolate on top remelted, and started going down. After 2 minutes of gagging, and trying to dispose of the hot chocolate from hell, it was mostly gone. The only thing remaining was more chocolate, stuck to the mug. I used atleast 250ml of soap trying to get that thing off. I destroyed two (2) sponges. It wouldn't melt. It wouldn't scrape. Soap did almost NOTHING. After enough scrubbing, it was finally gone. The mug was still covered in spots of chocolate, which I'm leaving for the dishwasher. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at that mug again.
TL;DR: Milk based hot chocolate was left out for 3 weeks, because I neglect my Xbox (and its station).
BosanTampan: Everybody knows laptop gaming is the way!!
arrow2theknee82: You heathen.
| 3 | -1.333333 | |
1671142809 | 1671169511 | t3_zmxzch | t5_2to41 | 265 | str_productions: TIFU by opening the door for trick or treaters while charging my toys
As you see by the title this did not happen today but a friend urged me to post this story here.
To preface I live in a country where Halloween has only pretty recently become a bigger thing, and trick or treating has never been a thing here. So naturally I did not expect to have any kids knocking on my door.
It was Halloween day (I assume, not sure when the kids actually think to do it since it’s not a thing here) and I had just come home after walking my dog, and I was feeling a little sweaty so I took my pants off and was hanging around the apartment with just my boxer briefs on and a t-shirt. Then the door bell rang.
Now my dog is a loud motherfucker and will not shut up unless you open the door to show what’s behind the door. So she freaks out and I’m slightly surprised by the ring since I wasn’t expecting anyone. Without further thought I grab the dog to calm her down and open the door. There I was greeted by about 5 kids ranging from ages 7 to 12 maybe, yelling“trick or treat!”.
I was pretty flabbergasted but I remembered I actually had some leftover candy in the kitchen that I personally don’t like and was looking to get rid of anyway. So I told the kids to wait there and I left the door open (again not thinking) so they all had a good look into my apartment.
I grab the candy, give it to all the kids and wish them happy halloween, close the door, and finally let go of the dog. That’s when I realised the fuck up.
First came the realisation that I had opened a door for bunch of kids while just in my boxer briefs and a think shirt. But it’s almost the same kids see at the beach right? No big deal. But then I saw the box.
See earlier in the day I had taken out my box of sex toys to recharge a few things. I keep the box in the entrance hall closet and I had obviously left the box wide open on the the ground in front of it.
Just to give you an idea what the box contains, I am a pansexual dude so I have toys for men and women, depending on what kind of company I might have over. Thought not a huge box, the variety is there.
So now I’m stood in front of the door and to my horror realise that all the kids had a good plain view of the box, fully open about 2 m away from them. I had left them at the door way to wait a good minute or so while I grabbed the candy, so they had plenty of time to inspect my hallway. There stood a big flesh coloured dildo right next to the pretty pink flesh light for all the young eyes to see.
I just hope some of the kids were young enough to not understand but there was at least one 12yo who probably understands enough. Hopefully I haven’t traumatised anyone, and hopefully no more kids come knocking on my door ever again.
I must say I’m relieved that they had no parents present, bc I might have ended up on a list somewhere if there were one.
tl;dr- Had left my box of sex toys on the floor for full view for some trick or treaters to see while I grabbed candy from the kitchen.
Allie614032: It’s trick or treat. You gave them both 🤷🏼♀️
Gnochi: Gotta love the /r/inclusiveor
| 3 | 88.333333 | |
1671148030 | 1671153744 | t3_zn0bpn | t5_2to41 | -9 | [deleted]: TIFU getting banned for commenting on my own post. [Follow up to TIFU getting myself and Stanley from the Office banned from WSB by crowdfunding $30k for a Superbowl ad. End result: Reddit ran its own ad, refunded 2,000 Redditors, and... I keep getting banned.]
[deleted]
CaseyTS: I see you even if it gets deleted! Thanks for doing something for/with a community like that. Shame it didn't work out, and shame wsb mods have a couple silly (imo) rules. Awesome that you got to talk with Leslie about it too.
AmazingQuality1193: Not readin allat
mondays_amiright: Yea 4 sentences is hard. Uses up almost as much energy as it does to reply to a person who wasn’t talking to you.
AmazingQuality1193: Not readin allat either
mondays_amiright: Lol
AmazingQuality1193: Lol
| 7 | -1.285714 | |
1671150275 | 1671150889 | t3_zn165v | t5_2to41 | 15 | justyouraveragecoat: TIFU By Competing With My Best Friend
Background: My friend (We will call him Josh) began selling Prime Hydration at our school about two weeks ago, and business was booming. By the end of the first two days Josh had made around 200 dollars of profit.
Story: Now this is where I fuck up. I was amazed by how much Josh was making and wanted some I asked to help him sell, but he declined. I was so caught up in the profits that without thinking I began selling prime to people for 5 dollars a bottle (Josh was selling them for 10). And of course people starting coming to me instead of him because I was selling for half the price. The very next morning as Josh noticed he had not sold any bottles yet but noticed many people with them asked were they got them. They all had the same reply, telling Josh they purchased it from me hastily Josh came to the crowd gathered around me and began making his usual offers, but everyone declined. And so now he refuses to speak with me. I know I should not have tried to compete with him since we are best friends and now he wont speak to me. What do you think I should do?
​
TL:DR : Pretty much, I saw Josh selling bottles of Prime for a lot of money and making lots of profit, got jealous and began selling for half Josh's price, Josh became furious with me and now we wont speak and it seems like a 12 year friend ship has been thrown down the drain because of me.
OriginalName483: What you should do is raise your prices to 15 a bottle now that the competition is gone and give your friend a 66% cut. Now you're both profiting and you've proven that you're the better capitalist and he should have hired you
justyouraveragecoat: I was thinking of stop selling entirely. Thoughts on that?
OriginalName483: Probably smart. Halving the price wasn't the best business strategy going in to begin with honestly.
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1671150409 | 1671223142 | t3_zn17vi | t5_2to41 | 2,121 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my father in law if he liked rapists…
Hello everyone.
I am not a native English speaker, actually I started to learn proper English once I moved to the US.
My girlfriend and friends speak to me in my mother language so I have little to none social skills on English.
Today I had lunch with my girlfriend’s family and I was super nervous because they mainly speak in English but I managed to communicate with them and even crossed a couple of jokes with my father in law.
My mind was going at 200mph trying to not be weird with my broken English and I was beginning to leave my awkwardness behind.
That until I heard them talking about 2Pac and other famous RAPPERS.
My father in law was saying how he liked 2pac and for him he was the greatest rap icon or something like that.
Me being a big Spanish rap fan, I started to panic thinking about something cool to say about a topic I enjoy.
And naturally I said “I didn’t’ knew you liked rapists”
Everybody became silent and my father in law made the most disgusted expression I’ve ever seen.
He just said “what?” And I answered “I didn’t thought you liked rap artists”
After that my girlfriend explained me what I did wrong, I was really nervous and between shifting from conversations in Spanish with my girlfriend and his brother and conversations in English I committed my most stupid mistake in my entire life.
Didn’t talked much for the rest of the afternoon.
Will never forget the shame I felt once I realized what I said.
I hazte my broken English.
TL;DR: Said “rapist” instead of “rapper”, because I thought that was the English translation for “rapero”.
JayAllOverYourBees: Tupac was literally convicted of two counts of first-degree sexual abuse and served time for them
Just saying, added layer of irony.
[deleted]: Oh God that explains his reaction, I can’t feel more ashamed now
TroublesomeFox: My russian flatmate once enthusiastically said he couldn't wait to see the sea cats. Turns out he meant sealions 😂
Your learning a whole other language and that's really cool! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about mistakes.
Serephucus: My Chinese girlfriend does this quite a bit.
Eagle beans = chickpeas
Passionate fruit = passionfruit
Metal cloth = tinfoil
They're always hilarious, and definitely not something to be worried about.
SamuelSomFan: Metal cloth really resonated with me. Thumbs up👍👍
rebuildmylifenow: Metal Cloth really resonates in a microwave too, actually. ;-)
FestiveSquid: ["Hey, what smells like blue?"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfiqtndUR0I)
| 8 | 265.125 | |
1671149678 | 1671152048 | t3_zn0y74 | t5_2to41 | 0 | hat_destroyer_9000: tifu but by using my gaming name as reddit username, today and got forced to delete my account cause my family almost found it, now I've Lost my 4 years of post and my favorite subs :(
Tbh I'm kinda sad to be that stupid to use that name, i usually just use it for convenience and never even bothered to change it, you may tink it would be no big deal, but my family is big on lgbt fobia and couldn't risk someone finding out in any situation so i just kinda snatched my family member phone away before he hot to see anything and deleted the account, i just kinda told a fake story that it was porn alt, better to humiliate myself than to get disowned
For the most part now i will try to find my fav subs back n' stuff but i will miss my post's :(
For the most part it was my fault and can't complain... It was not a big fuck up, could have been bigger, but dang I feel down by it.
I post my dignity my reddit and Respect of a family member
Tldr: deleted Reddit by fear of family, now i miss it :(
valkerine: That’s a shame but you could have said that account wasn’t yours someone else took the username
hat_destroyer_9000: I really couldn't :( i had some personal post that would have blown my cover
valkerine: That sucks maybe one day your family will be more understanding
| 4 | 0 | |
1671152442 | 1671153099 | t3_zn1xw2 | t5_2to41 | -22 | [deleted]: TIFU Stole My Best Friends Car and Crashed it
[deleted]
Bigdaddylovesfatties: Idk, do you still want to be friends with him ?
Bitter-Drink-9805: I can live with the guilt
Bigdaddylovesfatties: Clearly yes as it has been 6 years
| 4 | -5.5 | |
1671156869 | 1671319308 | t3_zn3eql | t5_2to41 | 46 | burnerburninginhell: TIFU by sending junk pics
I (20M) met a girl(?!?) on a dating app. We progressed (too) quickly to sexting over snap. The girl asked for pictures of my schlong. Well who am I, as a man, to refuse? The girl (who was actually a guy) then proceeded to threaten me with sending said pictures to individuals on my insta, as well as to people through my school email, unless I pay 500 dollars. Being that ramen is my staple food, I convinced them to hold off the majority and paid $150. I convinced them to do it over PayPal, which has netted me a name and an email address. What should I do? Do I risk public shame by refusing to pay, or reporting the wire fraud and blackmail? Or do I just pay up? Or do I take the third route, tracking them down and blackmailing them myself? In any case, I really fucked up this time. TL;DR, don't send dick pics it's not worth the effort
KG8893: Now you have their name so you can go to the police with that information. That's called extortion and it's very much illegal. Keep all your recipets, and every bit of communication you have with them.
Something to think about, even if you do pay them, they still have the pictures and will probably still do whatever they want with them.
mizukata: The biggest r/tifu might have come from the other guy. Leaving a trace that can lead to his name and address is pretty stupid. Now op can acuse the guy of extortion
Styled_: Highly unlikely the guy used his real name and address.
| 4 | 11.5 | |
1671155635 | 1671164765 | t3_zn300q | t5_2to41 | 303 | justin0628: TIFU by breaking a 17 year old nebulizer
My (17M) family owns a nebulizer. If you don't know what that is, it's a machine people use to send medication to the lungs. We have a nebulizer that was bought when I was probably still an infant. It's really old and it has a lot of sentimental value to me because that's what I used before I could even walk or talk. When I was a kid, I used to hate it because I couldn't move around, but I didn't realize how important it is to me emotionally. That nebulizer has stood the test of time because it still works up to this point.
Yesterday, I got diagnosed with pneumonia. A part of the treatment is to use a nebulizer. When I got to use it, the nebulizer worked perfectly fine. Only problem is that the tube would detach from the nebulizer when it's on.
Now here's where I f'ed up:
When it was time for me to use it, I tried to detach the tube from the nebulizer and attach the other end of the tube instead. However, the tube won't detach. I pulled really hard and it broke the piece that holds the tube. It still works. It still pumps out air. But in order for it to properly work, I have to hold it at the right spot at the right angle. I told my mom, she got kinda upset cause I can't use anything now that I really need it. I felt upset too because after seventeen years of usage, it finally broke. It felt like seeing your favorite childhood toy get thrown away but it's way way worse.
Now I'm planning on fixing it back to its original state because I couldn't stop thinking that I broke that thing.
TL;DR: I broke our seventeen year old nebulizer by pulling on the tube too hard.
Edit: I FINALLY FIXED IT YAYYY
Dry-Exam1768: Babe shit like that isn’t meant to last that long. Be thankful it made it to 17. You didn’t fuck up at all!
justin0628: i have fixed it 🥹
Dry-Exam1768: An innovator!!! proud of you
justin0628: there's nothing super glue can't handle (i prevented the glue from going into the hole with a toothpick so it's completely safe to use)
Dry-Exam1768: Awhhh yay!!! That’s so true!! I’m so glad. it is still old though…. So if your quick fix doesn’t hold one of the other commenters is right you’ll just need a script from a doctor❤️ happy nebulizing hope you feel better!!
justin0628: thank you so much!
| 7 | 43.285714 | |
1671160668 | 1671206643 | t3_zn4nvf | t5_2to41 | 132 | Jcpants: TIFU by thinking nobody was home
Soo I live with a few roommates but I’m the only one who has Saturday off from work. I came downstairs to pee but I had my headphones on so if anyone can come home I didn’t hear them. But I went to the bathroom and let the door open thinking no one was home. I was scrolling on my phone and notice my dick was super shrunken for some reason so decided to take a pic of it and send to my friend who I joke around with like that sometimes. The minute I looked up I my roommate standing right at the doorway and beet red trying not laugh and just goes “whatcha doin there?” I quickly popped it back in my pants and acted like I was just looking in the mirror. She seemed chill and didn’t say anything but was txting a lot when we were sitting on the porch and kinda ignoring me so I figured she maybe was a little uncomfortable. An hour later I get a txt from one my other roommates saying “I’m so sorry bro 🤣 dick size isn’t everything”. Turns out she was in group chat with our other two roommates telling them I have what she thinks is a micropenis.
TLDR: Thought no one was home and roommate caught me with my dick out taking a pic
100110011011001: "Waiting for it to grow" is what you shoulda said
cedarpangolin: She might’ve helped
Jcpants: I wish
Critical-Echo-923: show it to her, tru pants, when you have an erection
shrinking to 2-3cm is not uncommon
| 5 | 26.4 | |
1671161136 | 1671201899 | t3_zn4ta8 | t5_2to41 | 236 | shellykachua69: TIFU by falling sick after telling my boss that people lie about being sick to skip work
Just yesterday I had a review during which I told my manager I always feel that people are lying when they call in sick last minute. "It's a universal excuse to get out of work and meetings" I said. Now ironically, I ate some samosas at 6 in the morning and I'm withering with pain. My best guess is acidity or indigestion or something. Anyhow, I have to get to work within an hour and I'm now realising I cannot call in sick.
Now I don't want to accept it but it feels like karma. It was probably toxic of me to be unnecessarily sceptical of a colleague very conveniently getting sick every second Monday.
I think I'll update whatever happens today in the comments. One thing is for sure, I'm not skipping work today. I'm guessing I should suffer in silence instead of being obnoxious and claiming I'm so great for coming to work even though I was sick
TL;DR. Claimed people lie about being sick to skip work. Fell sick myself
twohedwlf: Yeah, that sounds like karma for being so toxic about your coworkers.
Tophatt69: I'd say it's more toxic to skip out on work and have the rest of the team need to cover for you, of course if it doesnt make more work for other then who cares if you call in but it's a dick move when it does make more work for them which sounds like it does here.
Most places have that guy who calls in all the time and geuss what no one likes him from the top to the bottom of the business. People are often times toxic towards toxic people so look at the source not the reaction.
Festernd: >it's more toxic to skip out on work and have the rest of the team need to cover for you
yup, it is toxic, that the employer is so cheap as to put workers in that position
JejuneEsculenta: I assume "employee" should have been "employer"?
Festernd: yes, typo fixed, thanks!
| 6 | 39.333333 | |
1671160059 | 1671247998 | t3_zn4gq8 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Mountain_Man1776: TIFU by texting the wrong roommate a joke about the other.
So I (19m) have two roommates in college, both named Brad. To make it worse, Brad H. So in my phone their contact looks nearly Identical. A bit of context me and Brad 1 are closer with each other than with Brad 2. Brad 2 is nice, but he brings his gf in the room and gets really cuddly with her. Now this wouldn’t be a problem, I’m pretty chill, except that they cuddle for HOURS. They aren’t disturbing me and Brad, but it’s just weird. See, they started coming up to the room because they used to hang out in the Longe of TWO dorms and got a lot of crap for it so they came to the room. Me and Brad 1 are pretty annoyed and made some jokes that Brad 2 is going to get Maddie (the gf), pregnant. Here comes the tifu. So I’m leaving for a ski trip and Brad texts me asking if I’m still on campus. I say no and we had a conversation about book on my desk that I had talked about with Brad earlier. The other Brad. Since Brad 2 never texts me I though it was Brad 1, and I say “Ready to get back from break and find out Brad got Maddie pregnant”
And once I sent it I realized my mistake. He typed back “…….” And I knew I f-ed up. I made an excuse saying that it sounded funnier in my head and I hadn’t slept all night which since I didn’t come back to the room last night seemed realistic enough.
TLDR: Texted my roommate that he was going to get his girlfriend pregnant when I meant to send it to the other roommate who has the same name
jjjdddmmm: Negative comment retracted
Mountain_Man1776: I can’t change clothes in my own damn room, so yeah
jjjdddmmm: My bad. I take it back. I was in a mood and misread and didn’t think about that type of situation. Yeah, fuck that.
Mountain_Man1776: You’re good bro, I’ve definitely done the same thing
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1671163935 | 1671173836 | t3_zn5p3i | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by destroying my stomach lining
[deleted]
neovb: Certainly a TIFU, but that sounds to me like a good amount of food poisoning from questionable food in New Orleans and not necessarily alcohol. And let me tell you, there's a LOT of questionable places to eat there.
bathtubbear: i’m pretty sure it’s gastritis. it’s been persisting since i got home and it’s been over a week now 💔
convolutedkiwi: Pretty sure it's gastritis. You want the pink lady combo in emerge. Quick dissolve pantoprazole, ondansetron and morphine.
You're story is almost my own experience exactly and that was my diagnosis and treatment.
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1671168686 | 1671231181 | t3_zn73k2 | t5_2to41 | 236 | randomuser374582: TIFU by getting my gf maybe pregnant
I (17)M messed up and think I may have got my gf (16)F pregnant. I don’t usually post on reddit but I needed a place to get this off my chest so. Today whilst having intercourse with my gf the condom broke. As soon as I realized it had broke which was seconds afterwards I pulled out. I know sex isn’t like really a topic many people talk about and like it’s kinda taboo but I’m just extremely worried at the moment about the possibility of my gf being pregnant.Lately our relationship’s been very healthy however I’ve heard plenty of people like breaking up with their SOs bc of this. She means so much to me and I wouldn’t wanna lose her. She is not mad at me and told me to not worry this much but I do worry. I worry that bc of my accidental mess up she’ll probably have to take pills and they’ll probably give her headaches. It’s obviously better than giving birth ofc but I simply feel bad because I know the reason she has to go through this is me. She told me it isn’t my fault because it’s an accident but I still feel like it is maybe had I been more careful or went slower then it wouldn’t have broken. I know the sub mods will probably think my post isn’t valid because it’s not really my fault but Idk I’m just really stressed right now. I just needed to get this off my chest bc I just feel like crying rn.
TLDR; TIFU by having intercourse with my gf and the condom broke
Blackeststool: First off… relax. Broken condom does not equal pregnancy. Is she going to get “plan b”?
randomuser374582: I don’t know if she’s going to she said she’d wait till next week because she then has an appointment at the doctor’s that involves checking if she’s like pregnant. But I don’t know how plan B works so I don’t know if you have to take it within a certain window of time
Blackeststool: This Shit is a bit beyond my scope of knowledge. I would suggest doing some research yourself on “plan b” but I believe it needs to be taken within a short period of time after the act to be effective.
randomuser374582: So I looked it up online and apparently I have 72h after the act but as soon as possible is indeed the most effective way to go. Thanks everyone I’m gonna go to sleep and I’ll talk with her about this tomorrow. I’m still stressed out but yeah I probably shouldn’t be
nkdeck07: Nope, there's 24 Hour CVS. Drive your butt to one and get her to take it.
Also both of you REALLY need to have some conversations about birth control. If condoms are your only method for whatever reason fine (though I can't imagine having sex in high school without also using the pill or an IUD) but you should have known about this stuff before you were having sex. Hell while you are at the CVS pick up 2 so the next time this happens she can take it literally within minutes of the incidence.
eileen404: Non broken condoms have a 20% failure rate. I'd you're mature enough to have sex you're mature enough to discuss reliable birth control. I'd you can't discuss birth control you're not old enough to have sex.
https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/contraception/index.htm#:~:text=Intrauterine%20Contraception&text=It%20releases%20a%20small%20amount,rate%3A%200.1%2D0.4%25.
| 7 | 33.714286 | |
1671175914 | 1671177461 | t3_zn91bo | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By letting my cat go into hiding
[deleted]
Brdsht: This is why we have big contracts, interviews, and home checks for animal adoptions. Its better for the animals to have sane responsible human beings for owners so they don't get fucked over at every turn. People complain we make it too hard...Maybe we should make it harder.
Russian Blues are intelligent awesome cats. Just find a local pet rescue and turn them over for a fresh start. Please.
VenomVynes: Yes! I do feel like someone who got knocked up in HS but apparently both were strays-ish. Boy was born from a Crack head who sells weed and idk Girls origin. He claimed them both as being rescues from Terrible environments which automatically endeared them to me
Also Boy was the absolute best. And that's why I don't want to get rid of girl. I know my ex mother in law won't take another cat (she was reluctant about Boy) and I definitely won't give he to a shelter because I love her
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1671182685 | 1671208343 | t3_znangb | t5_2to41 | 992 | [deleted]: TIFU not telling my ex I was high
[deleted]
OTTERSage: The real fuck up here is that you’re a druggy and haven’t recognized it yet.
Get your fucking act together kid
Tired-Swine: OP is a dumbass but they’re just shrooms man chiiill
OTTERSage: The shrooms alone isn’t what made him a druggy.
Cat_of_death: Lmao there’s nothing wrong with recreational drug use
Guards_of_magog: If you'll be acting like that, then yes, there is.
GoodGuyTrundles: No there isn't if you're not expecting to be going anywhere. Dafuq?
bearbutts11: No dude, learn to handle your shit on drugs or don't do them. It's not safe for anyone if you act that way.
GoodGuyTrundles: He thought he was taking them in the safety of his own home? He shouldn't have gone to his ex's but you sound like a total shut-in with no clue how the world works....
The upvotes and downvotes here are a total Reddit moment.
Guards_of_magog: But he DID go, you put it as it's a minor inconvenience when that's the main problem, especially if she didn't like that shit
GoodGuyTrundles: The premise was 'there is nothing wrong with recreational drug use'. There isn't. There's something wrong with this guy's decision making process. Drugs didn't make him go there. And if his girlfriend doesn't like his use, she's free to find someone who aligns more with her values. Oh wait, she did. And then invited him back as if she couldn't have possibly expected this outcome. But let's put the responsibility for the situation with shrooms. Shrooms make you *more* aware of other people's needs. They had nothing to do with the situation.
Your value judgment is meaningless.
An inconvenience to who?
| 11 | 90.181818 | |
1671190909 | 1671248116 | t3_zncp9n | t5_2to41 | 54 | Esther-Rosie: TIFU by eating strawberries
So my sister went to a strawberry farm with her friend a few days back and came back with a pack of strawberries (1 pk cost like $10 which was such a scam as in supermarkets you can by a pack for like $2-3)
Anyway, I get myself a bowl of strawberries and I decided to have one. The first one was fine, the second one however, had a hole in it. I thought nothing of it and chewed the edge. What i found now has be traumatised from eating my favourite berry. I found one singular small little maggot alive. I spat the rest out and informed my family of this as well.
That was the second time i had something like that in my favourite thing
The first time was when my father grew tomatoes in my back garden, picked one and i had them. I loved tomatoes. One night i picked one up and took a big bite and when i checked, there was maggots in them. I of course gagged and threw them out.
Now I am traumatised from eating any tomatoes and strawberries
TL;DR: I ate a strawberry and found maggots
[deleted]: I can almost guarantee you it wasn't a maggot.
Esther-Rosie: It was yellow/light yellow and it was moving.
other_usernames_gone: It was probably just a grub. It's no big deal, they're *super* common in strawberries. The reason you don't see them in store bought is because they're sorted out before they reach you. You just need to be observant while picking them.
Esther-Rosie: So they are (if ingested) safe too eat? Because that is gross
[deleted]: Yeah. It's safe. And it's not gross. It's a way better animal protein any ways.
| 6 | 9 | |
1671194094 | 1671271551 | t3_zndnl3 | t5_2to41 | 1,853 | SmartBeast: TIFU by leaving my phone open at the gym and making cute girls next to me think I was watching gay porn during my workout
TIFU by leaving my phone open at the gym and making the cute girls next to me think I was watching hardcore gay porn during my workout.
TL;DR - I was listening to Industry Baby on Spotify. The video plays a clip in the background and it looks like a gay porno. Left my phone open and now I can never go back to my gym.
So I was at the gym yesterday. I like to jam out to my own tunes during my workouts. So I'm at the squat rack and I click the song [https://open.spotify.com/track/27NovPIUIRrOZoCHxABJwK?si=MTGeSOwJTFyls-XsSwR2cw](Industry Baby), set my phone on the ground, and then waited for the beat drop to do my set. When I finished, I noticed the two girls on the next rack giggling and taking quick glances in my direction. I thought it was just in my head until I looked down at my phone...
If you don't know, Spotify will play a short clip of the music video while you're playing certain songs. Industry Baby is apparently one of tthose. Unbeknownst to me, the singers in the video are wearing *minimal* clothing and doing a seemingly homoerotic dance. I left my phone unlocked, screen up, and displaying this scene for the entire world to see.
In a panic, I dropped down and grabbed my phone to shut off the screen. I paused the music and took off my headphones. I decided to clear it up by telling them, "oh God no I'm not watching gay porn. Spotify just plays the video I swear.." I guess I said that a little too loud because the guy behind me burst out laughing.
Whelp I enjoyed this gym but I guess I'll have to go somewhere else from now on.
CacklingRose: Meh. Don't sweat it. I'm sure the girls don't care as much as you're imagining they do. If at all.
Be like the guy at the gym, laugh it off.
If nothing else, it's a good ice-breaker when you return to the gym. Which you should do when you're done cringing.
ILikeFPS: I mean to be fair they were giggling so it's not like they didn't care about it at all lol
StatisticianLivid710: Maybe they were hoping to turn him straight… together…
ILikeFPS: I don't think that's how it works lol
IceFire909: Seen enough documentaries about the topic to know it is in fact how it works
aussie_nub: What streaming service are those documentaries on? I'm thinking more Pornhub than Netflix.
IceFire909: you are correct!
| 8 | 231.625 | |
1671208865 | 1671654405 | t3_znj00j | t5_2to41 | 14 | Legendarystuff16: TIFU by needing to take a shit in a toilet with no tissue paper
Ok so here I (14m) am, in a cold basketball area with my friend (12m) who invited me to try to play. I had been once before but this time was different. It was winter, and it was indoors but it was still open to the outside if that made any sense. I felt cold and a rush of pain overwhelmed me as I held it in. You see, with me, if its cold, my shit is water and comes out in bursts so i had to take a shit. My friend showed me where it was and i we t around 40 minutes into the training but there was no toilet paper so i went back. I was in a predicament.
BAMN! It was becoming difficult and even more painful to hold in this wet, sloppy, brown monster and my ass was killing me. I waited for another ten minutes and said i needed to go and the coach being the nice lady she is tried to help by giving me some tissues. Two to be exact. And she said i could take like 1 or two from the counter. I took this magical opportunity and ran but someone was inside. I ran back into a hallway and sat in pain while flexing my body as to not flood this building. The door opened and i sprinted across the hallway, sweat traveling down my face and shit traveling through my anus.
I bashed through the door, locked it and pulled my pants down with all my strength (it was tied) and shat into the toilet the second my ass touched that wretched bowl. It shot out of my rectum like in the film where shit came out of the ground onto a man and instead of it being in the open it was in a dirty enclosed public toilet. I used my total of 4 tissue papers and saw i needed a shit tonne more. I then remembered, i had money. Around twelve bucks worth of money. This amounted to 600,000 Lebanese lira my mom gave to me in case i needed to pay for something. That poor money that i could have given to the poor had been used to wipe my hairy dirty lumpy wet shit covered ass and it did perfectly. I had to use it wisely and managed to clean it. I told my friend and my grandpa, who then told my brother, two uncles, mom, and grandma and the best thing is they couldn’t do shit to me cause it was either paint the car brown or paint the money brown. To out the cherry in top, I smelled after.
TL;DR I took a shit in a public toilet and had to use 600,000 Lebanese lira to wipe my ass and not get it everywhere else.
Edit: The conversion rate may be incorrect however from other friends from Lebanon i am hearing differently.
Critical-Echo-923: next time just flush and use the water as bide ....
why is this so hard ?
Legendarystuff16: I cant. Its lebanon that water is more toxic and shit filled that any other country i know
Critical-Echo-923: i appologise, didnt realised my entitlement
Legendarystuff16: What entitlement
Critical-Echo-923: that we use clean water to flush toilets, and i wasnt thinking that this might not be the case for everybody, im also used with a bide, and wash instead of using paper, also completely forgot about those turkish toilets with no bowl/chair
Legendarystuff16: Oh I’m not in turkey. Im in lebanon and here to visit my grandparents with my parents. I live in a much more upscale country than the one this story took place in. Your good
| 7 | 2 | |
1671210366 | 1671211767 | t3_znjkqo | t5_2to41 | 20 | Practical_Topic_4537: TIFU by shaving my balls dry
Obligatory Please excuse my english as it's not my first language
So this just happened and I´m in fucking agony.
I´ve got a date later and things are kinda looking good to say it like that. I didnt shave my balls when showering this morning cause I didn't have time so I thought i'd do it now. I have one of those electric shavers (the kind with three round spinning blades on top) I usually shave my junk in the shower with it which is just fine but it turns out just doing it dry is not that good of an idea. It burns like hell and it's all red. I applied some aftershave which didn't really help so now I put on some NIVEA creme which is making it a bit better but not really.
So now I'm just sitting here, pants down and hoping that the torment will end.
TL;DR: Shaved my balls dry, am in excrutiating pain
Natsukishusband: I recommend Aloe Vera and non-abrasive underwear
Practical_Topic_4537: Am still naked lol, its kinda getting better
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1671209561 | 1671307304 | t3_znj9eo | t5_2to41 | 174 | couchthievery: TIFU by asking for socks for Christmas
This happened last year.
A couple of weeks before Christmas, my bf 'Matt' asked me what I wanted and I said socks. I figured they were an easy, undemanding option and I did actually want new socks. (I'll spare you a description of my old ones.)
Christmas morning I wake up to the sound of Matt clattering about downstairs in the kitchen. When I move to get up I feel some things roll off of me and onto the floor. You'll never guess what they were!
jk. They were socks. There were maybe a dozen pairs, balled up and scattered across the bed. I found more on the floor and a trail of them leading out into the hallway. I gathered them all in my arms (have you ever tried holding 20+ pairs of socks at once? not easy) and followed the sock breadcrumbs out of the bedroom, down the hall and onto the stairs. There were socks placed between all the vertical posts on the bannister.
I crabwalked down the stairs, grabbing the socks as I went and stuffing them under my chin. By now the pile in my arms was massive and developing its own needs and wants. I probably looked like a small child trying to carry all the laundry by himself.
Halfway down, the sock collective made a bid for freedom. When I added another pair under my chin, a different pair shot out from the bottom of the pile. I made a sort of lunging motion without actually extending my arms (and missed) and overbalanced. The socks exploded outwards and leapt and tumbled down the stairs like an avalanche. I managed not to go down with them but my feet slipped and I basically landed on my arse on the step I had been standing on. This was surprisingly painful.
Matt obviously heard the commotion and came rushing to investigate. His shocked face was so comical I started to laugh and then also started to cry because it really fucking hurt.
It turned out I had landed on my tailbone! It developed a massive bruise and hurt for weeks. I don't recommend it. Matt was an amazing nurse though. I think he felt some guilt for the incident but really, it's not his fault I'm an idiot. Anyway, top ten Christmas.
tl;dr: Fell on my tailbone while trying to wrangle too many socks.
P.S. There were apparently 52 pairs in total but we only had 51 when we gathered them up, so one obviously got away and is living its best sock life somewhere.
ProveISaidIt: Your sock story reminded me of this: https://youtu.be/uYOmtEcZ1lk.
I can just picture you trying to pick up all of the socks
couchthievery: Mate that video was brilliant! I'm crying.
...I need to get some ducks now.
ProveISaidIt: I have a duck nightlight in my living room. I bought it because of that video.
couchthievery: I want the giant inflatable duck tbh. Not sure bf would be on board with that tho.
| 5 | 34.8 | |
1671210915 | 1671221554 | t3_znjsen | t5_2to41 | 65 | Virtual_Wear4201: TIFU by making my parents think I'm a nudist
So this happened over the weekend and I'm (16 M) still dying inside.
I usually help with doing laundry every week. Like my Mom just asked that I do all my laundry and any other stuff that needs done on Saturdays. I'll usually just grab everything from the laundry hamper and toss it in the machine or whatever.
This past Saturday, my parents went out shopping and I kind of just lost track of time fucking around on my computer, and then remembered I needed to do laundry. So did my usual stuff and tossed it all in the machine, and then remembered the pjs I was still wearing needed to be done too.
And then I just had the crazy idea of just taking them off and tossing them in too. I was home alone anyway, and it wasn't that far of a trip upstairs to my room so why not?
So stripped down and added my current clothes into the machine, started the cycle, and then left to go get dressed.
And then another crazy idea crossed my mind for some reason, that being to make a detour to the kitchen to grab another snack and soda before heading back up to my room. I have no idea why, because I've never just walked around the house naked before. But I just figured I was home alone anyway, so what's the harm in just streaking into the kitchen for a minute?
So I was just taking my time getting another bowl of chips and grabbing another soda from the fridge, and had just picked them both up and about to go upstairs again when the backdoor burst open with my mom and dad carrying their haul from Costco or wherever.
There was about 5 seconds where they were distracted, vaguely aware I was in the room and saying hi, and where I was in stunned and not believing this was happening. And then there was another few seconds where my parents seemed to process what they were seeing and then I finally unfroze and slammed the bowel and can on the counter and jumped to the side to put the kitchen island between me and them and covered myself with my hands.
My parents are pretty chill, almost to a fault, so they were mostly seemed curious why I was in the kitchen butt naked and I mumbled out an answer about laundry and they were starting to have a conversation, but I hit the eject button on that and just put up with the awkward half second of running past them to the stairs.
I mostly just kinda stayed up in my room for awhile slowly dying inside or tried to avoid them while going about my day until at dinner later they brought it up and pretty much explained that they had nothing against the "nudist philosophy", and I was welcome to be naked if I wanted to, but we'd need to work on some house rules for it.
I again died inside and tried to explain that I'm not usually naked when they're gone and it was just a weird thing I decided to do this one time, but I'm like 95% sure they don't really believe me and think I'm denying it because I was embarrassed about it. Like they said "okay, but if you want to talk about it later we can." And then they just chatted more about how nudism is an interesting idea and other stuff that just made me feel more awkward.
I love that my parents are super open minded and accepting of stuff, but it can backfire on shit like this where they now think I'm a secret nudist that is just embarrassed to talk about it.
TLDR: Did laundry naked, parents saw me and now they think I'm a nudist
wigglywinner: So own it lol maybe you could just be nude in your room i mean your parents sound like they would join you
Virtual_Wear4201: What do you mean join? Like they'd get naked too? ◉\_◉
Critical-Echo-923: "What do you mean join? Like they'd get naked too?"
not in ur room per say
Virtual_Wear4201: I assumed
Not like I'd want to just chill in my room naked with my naked parents
Lined_the_Street: *TIME FOR NAKED MONOPOLY BONDING*
| 6 | 10.833333 | |
1671211818 | 1671212495 | t3_znk4ze | t5_2to41 | 13 | AurigaNexus: TIFU by accepting a meeting invitation in MS Teams too early
So, a little backstory. I worked for about a month at a major sanitation company in the US as a driver. The pay was good and the people I worked with were great, but the long hours and heavy physical activity were much more overwhelming than I expected and I could tell I was headed straight for a burnout, so I submitted my resignation on Monday.
On Tuesday I got a call from my HR rep, who asked me if I was still interested in working with the company in another position. I asked her what all positions were available and she listed a few. One that caught my eye was a rather cushy work-from-home position as a customer service/call center representative. I have had experience working in customer service before so I figured it'd be a nice change of pace - I'd be taking a pay cut but it would be more reasonable hours and I got to work from home, so I decided it was worth exploring. She said she would have the person at that department contact me later on in the week.
Thursday at about 7 am local time I got a call from that person. They wanted me to join a Microsoft Teams meeting on Friday, where I would be listening in on one of their existing customer service reps while she took calls, to get a feel for the job and what the expectations were. I had just woken up and was a bit groggy (the rep in question was two time zones ahead of me, so they were calling at 9am their time), but I basically gave my assent. They told me they would send me an invite for a Microsoft Teams meeting at 10am my time.
Later on that day I was on my PC and saw the email invite. Not wanting to wait until the last minute I went ahead and clicked "accept". This was my fuck-up. I did not realize that when receiving calendar invites in Windows Mail, accepting the invite basically deletes the email in question completely out of existence - and that said email had the link I needed to join the meeting on Teams.
Fast forward to now, the meeting was supposed to start 25 mintues ago. My only point of contact was the number that called me yesterday and I've called twice and left voicemails, no response. My only hope is that they either A) call me to figure out what happened, or B) listen to my voicemail. I basically told them I wasn't able to find the email they sent and because of that I didn't have the link to join the meeting, and politely asked if we could try again on Monday. However, I can't help but think that I've basically screwed myself out of the chance I was given to get this job.
TL;DR Was asked to attend a MS Teams meeting for a potential job opportunity. Accidentially clicked "Accept Invite" a day early and Windows Mail yeeted the email with my join link out of existence. Missed the meeting, can't contact the people involved, may have just lost my chance at the job.
Dreaming_Indigo: Either go on teams calendar and open the meeting there, or find email in deleted folder and click link there? Should be in outlook calendar too if it was sent to an outlook/Hotmail address?? But whatever you're able to do, contact someone asap as you may still be able to save it
ETA: sorry, reread and realised you did say you've attempted contact. Maybe try finding email/meeting as above and email the sender too? Not much else to do, hope it works out for you.
Dreaming_Indigo: Also, for future reference, you can turn off the whole delete the invite email when responding - I think it's options -> calendar and under the invites bit, I've had to look it up before so might be wrong place but it's definitely possible to do
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1671214127 | 1671214358 | t3_znl16u | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by deciding to buy my friend a weird Christmas present
[removed]
Grandrea8: Oh, my bad
Thank you
Grandrea8: Trying to write a message for a second
Try
Try
Grandrea8: This
Is
Ridiculous
Try
G
| 4 | 1 | |
1671215665 | 1671218934 | t3_znlmfv | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting too intoxicated
[deleted]
wtshiz: That sounds a lot more like a suicide attempt than a FU... Was it maybe?
OkInevitable911: nah my problem with benzos (which is why i dont really like them) i that i can tell myself "you'll only take one to take the edge of. and in the end i'll always end up taking more with no recollection of doing so
wtshiz: Well that's a relief and a reason to not have benzos around! Look at the bright side- you woke up today. You didn't accidentally permanently solve temporary problems. You get another chance at this.
Have you tried supplements with stuff like ashwagandha, L-Theanine, etc.? ( I never had the take-all-the-benzos problem, but I find that I get rebound anxiety from them so avoid em.)
OkInevitable911: These pills where only ever supposed to be a short term solution till i can start therapy (which starts next week) so i'll dont get random panik attacks, so staying on 'em was completely off the table as i've lost both my parents to overdoses. I'd rather stick to less impairing ways of coping so i'm not worried of getting into the habbit.
the fuck up lies more in not being able to explain myself to the other person without pulling a spam attack on them
_lstndbyl_: Your only option here really is to wait it out. Not remembering what was being said doesn’t change what happened and doesn’t take responsibility of your shoulders.
Kinda a bad move from her not to at least give you the chance to explain (or at the very least tell you what you said) but hey. It is what is.
Keep ya head high
| 6 | 0.666667 | |
1671218688 | 1673882459 | t3_znmrjc | t5_2to41 | 113 | MooreThanCosplay: TIFU by eating undercooked chicken
My mother and father are away for Christmas so I have the whole house to myself, we had some frozen raw chicken in the freezer and some left over hunters sauce in the fridge so I thought I'd cook myself Hunters Chicken in the air frying, I texted my dad during the day and he said 20 minutes should do the trick.
After 15 minutes the machine said to turn over, so before doing that I cut into one of the chickens and it was still raw on the inside, so I flipped them round, wrapped the bacon around them and poured the hunters sauce. After 5 minutes I thought I would risk it so I put it in for another 5 minutes. After that, I checked it, looked okay and played up.
After eating half of 1 of the chickens it felt too soft and tender and realized it was still raw on in areas I hadn't checked. The bacon and hunters sauce must have hit it well for me to not notice. Their is a cook chance I'm gonna be sick now, will report back.
TL:DR. Are raw chicken thinking it was cooked after 25 minutes because the sauce hid the pink texture.
hxcmetal: Pro tip: never cook solely by oven temp & time or color, it's just a guideline. Get a meat thermometer. For chicken, take it out around 155 degrees Fahrenheit and let it rest depending on the size and let it rest, covered for 10 mins or so before cutting into it. The inside will catch up with the rest of it while resting, and you'll get to your food safe 160. I've cooked stuff from frozen that took a lot longer than expected to reach temp, and stuff thawed to room temp that was thinner and hit temp really quickly. Meat thermometers will help for sure, and remove any guessing game, and they're cheap!
phatbert: Even at 165 internal temp chicken is too gross for me. That's just me, but I like to reach at least 175 (but no more than 190) for texture and flavor.
CovidPangolin: You like dry chicken
phatbert: No I just don't like purple slimy chicken with crunchy connective tissues. I also don't eat chicken breast so maybe that's why...
CovidPangolin: The fuck do you do that your chicken is purple? Kool-aid marinade?
phatbert: It's called dark meat. When it's raw it has a purplish hue by the bone. How do you not know this? Do you only eat boneless chicken breast or something?
Edit: let me educate you on chicken ffs:
https://simplelifesaver.com/why-does-chicken-breast-change-color/
Read purple in the table
CovidPangolin: First of all chicken breasts have no bones in them so boneless chicken breasts is double. 2nd i have eaten plenty of dark meat and not have purple chicken, maybe get your chicken from some place else than chernobyl.
phatbert: You dont even know you can buy breast with bones? It's called the ribs, sheesh you seem so new. Read the article, I even linked it for you. Stop acting like you know when you dont, it won't get you very far. I don't have any more time to educate you on the knowledge you severely lack about chicken.
CovidPangolin: Then name it what it is ribs. Just because you want to be pedantic about what you wanna name it doesnt mean it makes sense to others.
| 10 | 11.3 | |
1671216836 | 1671263829 | t3_znm2a5 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by going to the grocery store
[deleted]
BaronVonNumbaKruncha: What was he trying to tell you?
Double_Lavishness_74: They are coming for your
| 3 | 1 | |
1671223182 | 1671227122 | t3_znohs3 | t5_2to41 | 666 | Zelcron: TIFU by scaring a woman and myself because I went to the wrong car
Oh Jesus I just scared the hell out of some poor woman. I ran to 7-11 for some juice and tp. There was a car identical to mine parked right next to me. I got in the wrong one by mistake because I have a lot on my mind, and it was the same make, model, and color. Probably the same year, but within one or two.
There was this poor woman in the passenger seat, I didn't even see her at first, I was fixing my wallet and didn't even look to the passenger seat until she spoke.
She was cool about it. I said sorry really quick and explained the mistake and then bailed. She said it was fine.
But I am sure she was alarmed (rightfully), and she scared the hell out of me when she spoke up, startling me.
I'm so lucky she didn't call the police. It was a stupid innocent mistake but it could have easily escalated quickly.
Tl;DR I got into the wrong car by mistake and scared a woman and myself
couchthievery: lmao amazing. I've done that except it was neighbour's house I walked into.
TheBestMePlausible: So what kind of roles are you most looking forward to playing now that you are stepping away from the marvel universe?
Zelcron: Not sure if this is a joke I am missing, but Garrus in a mass effect series. Sorry, I misread the first time.
TheBestMePlausible: https://apnews.com/article/2cf7dc630a00b76159e541c09913087e
For this I get downvotes?
Reddit sucks lately.
Zelcron: Dude I love Marvel and no one gets the reference. That's a you problem, not an us problem.
| 6 | 111 | |
1671221991 | 1671291501 | t3_zno0sa | t5_2to41 | 6 | thedragonofbooks: TIFU by becoming a monster
A while ago my mom was living with me, my sister, and my brother while my dad working abroad and my mom working full time. I had recently been given a computer for school and I did online school, my grades tanked and I was gaining weight. My life was becoming miserable and unfortunately I found the only way to combat this was to start isolating my self from everyone I know so I started becoming colder to my family and refused to help out and just gamed all day and wh3n it was school I would usually just game on the side with the tab open to have a fast response time and decrease suspicion of me gaming, I also became a master of closing a tab and minimizing my game to look as if I've been doing homework. I had it all figured out, be lazy, rude, and throw my acedimec dreams out the window.
However, the longer this went on I got more and more depressed which made me colder and ruder. I had a really good friend but moved so we started to talk on discord but Most of the time it was me being late then complaining about my week. I was a horrible friend and due to my idiocy our friendship fizzled out :'(. He used to be my only friend, and we had lots of shared interests this also helped grow my friendship with him.
I also used to swear and throw at anyone who came in my room and would only leave to bring food back to my room. I one time even yelled at my father to f off multiple times for wanting to come and talk a situation out(he was coming to visit).
I watched and played for so long it became an addiction, no matter how much I wanted to stop no matter how much I hated it and myself I couldn't. It got so bad I was actively scrolling through youtube for 15mins+ to find a vid to watch while playing.
Thank God now I have repaired most of the damage made by me and still working to fix the rest. I help out as much as I can, I've been going to the gym and have been actually doing school work and my latest report was the first to get all b's and up. My addiction is also been under control, by limiting my gaming to only 2 hrs a day it has helped tremendously and everything is looking in the up and up.
Tldr: I was a monster and had a very big addiction and now I'm working hard to undo my dmg
terrag32256: How long was this happening before you were able to get help?
thedragonofbooks: A year
terrag32256: Good for you man. Best of luck in moving forward
thedragonofbooks: Thanks!
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1671223879 | 1671227348 | t3_znormz | t5_2to41 | 38 | -Sypher-: TIFU by taking a dp infront of a school security camera
[removed]
dr_xenon: Your 14. Just don’t.
No-Hippo5631: I second this. If anyone besides you has that picture, they possess child porn. And if it's for yourself... why, you don't have a mirror?
Edit: read it again. Couldn't you guys go somewhere private to do that after school? First of all, you could get hacked (I've never taken a picture of my genital region in 18 years of having access to digital photography) and if she saves it, well, in 4 years that's gonna be an adult with CP. Unless you start putting out pornographic stuff after you turn 18, I don't recommend doing this AT ALL, but especially not as a minor, and especially not at school!
-Sypher-: i told you bro i was at a school
No-Hippo5631: I had some horny friends in high school, they talked about sex all the time. They also didn't do anything *in school*. Seems like common sense, but also I get that you're young and judgment isn't always great as a teen, as I personally remember myself. Just don't.
-Sypher-: it was just that everyone was gone except for the teachers and they were across the building
| 6 | 6.333333 | |
1671228298 | 1671234119 | t3_znqfz2 | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking 3 day old coffee that’s been sitting in the car.
[deleted]
Abdlomax: In life, as in math, neatness is not a moral issue, it has actual survival value.
Skrawberrycake: Yes some people (aka me) learn the hard way 😂
Abdlomax: That is actually the best way to learn, if the mistake is not too serious.
| 4 | 3 | |
1671229190 | 1671234048 | t3_znqsfu | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by using a findom client’s credit card to pay for my holiday
[deleted]
ShiibbyyDota: Damn that sucks… time to get a real job?
ThrowawayRA7482: Or people with real jobs can give me money
Ruptito: Since you have a real job, can you give me money?
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1671228692 | 1671233565 | t3_znqlqb | t5_2to41 | 27 | Big_Old_Baby: TIFU by saying my wife's family is not mine
My wife and I have never been big on making plans for holidays. We're usually "go with the flow" kind of people. So when my mother-in-law insisted that we have Christmas at her boyfriend's house I didn't argue too much. Especially because my wife is very family-oriented. I cannot stress enough how important her family is to her.
My wife and I booked a hotel nearby for 5 consecutive nights around Christmas, after which she called her mom to discuss further plans.
MIL was disappointed to hear we wouldn't be spending those nights at her bf's home, and asked that we at least stay the night of Christmas Eve, since it's tradition for them to wake up and immediately open presents.
Wife talks to me after and says she wants to spend Christmas Eve there but that I can stay at the hotel if I really want. She's being very considerate of me and my preferences, especially considering the booking is non-refundable at this point. The problem is that they would postpone the opening of presents until I arrived, so I'd be ruining the tradition by doing so. I reason that I'd better spend the night there, reservation(s) be damned. I tell her I'll stay too, since it's what probably she wants me to do.
Still being very considerate, she asks "But what about you?"
To which I respond with "It's not my family. It's not my Christmas."
She immediately doubles over and begins sobbing. As I said, family is very important to her, so the thought that I didn't see myself as part of her family and that I was begrudgingly taking part in her traditions against my own desires was devastating.
Of course I meant for it to come across as "These family traditions are important to you, so of course I'll take part if it makes you happier." But it came out the worst possible way. Now she doesn't want to make eye contact or even be in the same room. If I initiate conversation she'll respond, but she's very short with me. I don't know how to fix this or make it up to her.
TL;DR
Family is the most important thing in the world to my wife, and I accidentally implied that I don't view myself as a part of her family.
Abdlomax: “I’m so sorry I said what I said so clumsily, please forgive me. Your family is important and I love you and our family.”
Do not explain yourself. Listen to her and do not argue or defend.
Big_Old_Baby: I did apologize and ask for forgiveness, but didn't say the part about her family. Thanks for the advice.
And hey, Happy Cakeday!
Abdlomax: Yes. Ask for forgiveness but don’t expect it she needs time to process it. You love this fragile soul. Remember that, and it will work out.
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1671234419 | 1671272196 | t3_znsqeg | t5_2to41 | 19 | ThrowAwayButNewMain: TIFU by smoking the green on the balcony
This happened about 2 hours ago. I was smoking a really strong blunt with my friend on the balcony. After a few minutes the world strated to spin and then darkness as my face hit the balcony metal railing I think tre time, forehead, nose and chin. I think my friend caught me before or after I fell, my bottom hurts, so maybe after. I suddenly had a realization it wasn't a dream and was real. I could bearly stand and we went inside, and I just sat down immediately and still scared to get up. It hurts when i touch it, it will probably leave a bruse. Now I'm also scared I have a concussion, I don't think I have a nose bleed. But my wision is kinda blurry. I never passed out in my life and this has never happened before when I would smoke, but I do it rarely.
Edit: my friend that was with me just told me what happened. I first hit my forehead on the railing then lifted my head really fast and then hit my nose really hard. And I definitely remember it now.
TL;DR: Smoked weed on the balcony and passed out, hit my head, and maybe have a concussion.
LongDistRider: Sounds like you have a nasty concussion. You should seek medical help if possible. Brain damage is not recommended. Seriously.
And get a chair to cop a squat to make smoke. Just makes the induction so much more pleasant.
ThrowAwayButNewMain: I hope this is sarcasam, I feel fine now, my head just hurt a little, but now bearly.
bugworld: Seconding the suggestion you check for head inquiry signs. You're probably okay but you'll be even more okay if you check things out.
Wishing you a lack of head injuries and good blunts in the future!
ThrowAwayButNewMain: Thank you, I don't think I have an injury, I'll just try to rest for the next two days, I'm too scared to go to the hospital or anything like that.
powerposepenguin: Why would you be scared? Those doctor exist to make you better. In the worst case they send you away with nothing, in the best case they help you feel better (also long term with possible brain injury)
ThrowAwayButNewMain: Because I can't tell them the reason why I passed out, and because I feel fine just a little shaken up, so I think they wouldn't even care to treat me when there are a lot more people who need actual help
powerposepenguin: The hospitals are not so overloaded that when you go there for a check up, someone else will die.
And if weed is illegal where you live tell them you were drunk?
Plus if you have a concussion you DO need actual help
| 8 | 2.375 | |
1671232804 | 1671315861 | t3_zns566 | t5_2to41 | 145 | topbananatropicana: TIFU by not looking under the bed properly…
So tonight, as I always do I had my evening shower and got into my pj's ready to get into bed.
For some reason, my bed was HOT, I checked under my bed at first worried there was an electrical fire or something, nope... so I started to feel out the warmth... it's the length of a body... I start to freak out.
I check again... Nothing... wtf is going on?!
Ok... anxiety is rising... it's the literal size of a human... I start to think is someone here... is it a ghost?
(Lmao I know but...!)
So I do what any young adult does... shouts for their mum.
She, absolutely besides herself after managing to literally crawl up the stairs, apologises for forgetting to tell me she bought me an electric blanket. Then proceeds to show me the wire clearly coming out from my mattress. Fml.
Thanks mum, but WOAH. I was literally torn between opening my closets and screaming come on then, and just running out the dam house in my fluffy pyjamas. I just thought of me confronting an intruder in fluffy pyjamas. Not my day.
TLDR; My mum forgot to tell me she bought me an electric blanket and I thought an intruder had been resting in my bed.
ooooooooooooolivia: I would be dying of dehydration if I was wearing clothes and had a heated blanket. Yuck, the sweat
This is mostly on your mom for installing a heating element without letting you know. There's probably some way for it to become a hazard
Inevitable-tragedy: I believe I recall there being a warning label to not leave it on/ plugged in unsupervised, which means it shouldn't be on while you sleep. Idk about you, but I would absolutely fall asleep while it's on. Also, what is the point of a blanket that you have to plug/ unplug when you're trying to go to sleep? I've never really understood the point of a heated blanket. I'm not gonna stand around watching it heat up while I wait to go to bed...?
dominus_aranearum: >which means it shouldn't be on while you sleep. Idk about you, but I would absolutely fall asleep while it's on. Also, what is the point of a blanket that you have to plug/ unplug when you're trying to go to sleep? I've never really understood the point of a heated blanket.
Unsupervised in this context means you're not in the vicinity. You left the house, went to work, etc. Sleep is fine. Electric blankets have an on/off switch no different than any other plug-in device. You don't unplug other electric devices when you go to sleep, do you? Electric blankets also have safety features built in such as a manual on button. Power goes out and comes back on while the blanket was on? It won't automatically turn back on. They also include an automatic shutoff after a prescribed amount of time.
The biggest danger is going to be a frayed cord or plug that's not fully seated. Both of these cause poor connections (lots of resistance) which heats up and can cause fires.
The point of a heated blanket is to help keep someone warm. Whether in bed, a chair or anywhere else. People can keep their home cooler and just warm themselves locally instead of heating the whole house/room.
Realistically, OP's mother never should have turned it on without telling him/her.
topbananatropicana: Thank you for this perspective, just to clear it up, I should have definitely make it clear in my post! I’m renting a room at my mums house, so she was in the house the entire time, apparently it’s also fitted with a trip switch, to minimise fire risk. I however am really paranoid about fires, so unplug all unnecessary electronics when I go to sleep… this blanket will now be one of them!
| 5 | 29 | |
1671235668 | 1671240053 | t3_znt69r | t5_2to41 | 11 | theceliachoe: TIFU by eating Dot's Pretzels
For some back story I'm a 20F and have Celiac (I'm technically not supposed to eat gluten but GF stuff is expensive and tastes horrible at least in my experience) I've come to this salon a handful of times for haircuts and recently to get my hair dyed. This time it was just a simple wolf cut with curtain bangs and to get my lashes lifted/tinted.
So I had doubled booked appointment at a salon that I normally go to, to get my haircut as well as my lashes lifted/tinted for the first time (as mentioned above). Since I had time before my appointment I was trying to decide if I wanted actual food or just a snack before my appointment(s) well I decided to swing by a gas station to get a tall boy Redbull and a bag of Dot's pretzels. The haircut went perfectly fine, we made small talk and she mentioned how vibrant my hair still is on the dyed parts and offered a removing service the next time I come in and have time and she'd even give me a discount since I've been coming to her for a hot minute. Well during my haircut I made the decision to break into those bad boys (the pretzels) and thought nothing of it at the time, well by the time my hairs done I had already eaten a good bit of the pretzels, I had offered some to my stylist since I normally share snacks with her but she had declined.
Well NOW it's time for lashes, the lash stylist asks if I'd like to use the bathroom before we start and I go "yeah might as well" so I go and use the bathroom (again thinking nothing of it at the time since my stomach felt roughly normal), so I go with said lash stylist to another room for the lashes. And dear god I was not prepared for how comfortable I was about to be, the table bed I laid on was so incredibly comfy (not to mention heated) and she was playing some nice music as well. She starts doing her thing and we're making small talk and such WELL during the lashes my tummy started cramping a bit and I'm like "oh god the gluten is already taking its toll" I'm panicking bc I'm incredibly relaxed and while I thought I had more time before the gluten reigned it's terror on my bowels turns out I was horribly wrong. I'm trying to calm myself down thinking I can just quietly let the toots out wrong again my body decided to betray me once more and made the first fart fairly fucking loud. And at this point it's important for me to mention that there's no way she could've mistook that fart coming from someone else because this room was only big enough for me and her.
This was my very first time with this stylist and I'm just constantly apologizing and trying to explain that I had ate gluten during the haircut and that's why I can't stop farting but regardless of me trying to defend my toots I was so incredibly embarrassed. The saint that she was tried to comfort me by saying it's totally fine and she has stomach problems too but like god damn all of this happened because I grabbed a quick and easy snack. I'm just glad my body saved me some embarrassment and it was only tiny toots but dear god never again am I making that same mistake. And yes I did make sure to tip her for that inconvenience 😭 but to make it even worse I went to go head out after paying and I started cramping again so I quick like ran to the bathroom and unleashed my body's vengeance that let me know that was the price I had to pay for indulging in something that's chock full of gluten.
After that I had a piercing appointment and I was totally fine, my body was done embarrassing me at that point. The girl was super sweet about it the entire time but I'm absolutely dying inside at the thought she told my stylist about what happened. I don't trust any other salon in my area with my hair but after this stunt my body decided to pull it's seriously making me rethink it, because like what if my stylist brings it up the next time I go in that's just gonna kill me 😭. I know it sounds like I'm over reacting about this situation because it definitely could've went so much worse but this will definitely be something my brain decides to bring up at 3am when I can't go to sleep.
TLDR: Embarrassed myself Infront of a lash stylist I just met bc pretzels kicked my Celiac ass - resulted in tiny toots
jbussey4: Rough adventure there lol!
Not trying to judge since your body is your own, but wanted to offer more of a PSA here to anyone unfamiliar with celiacs.
Many of us with celiacs don't just experience intestinal issues like you described, and even when that's it, repeated exposure to gluten can lead to a whole host of issues. These include higher risks of intestinal and colon cancers because of the actual damage being done to the linings of our digestive system, and our body's attempt to repair the damage. This is similar to how repeated damage to the liver from alcohol can result in liver cancer.
For me the effects of gluten are immediately way worse than that. I get something like a migraine within 30 minutes. In the next couple of hours as my immune system starts to attack anything that looks like gluten in my body I begin to feel dreadful fatigue. The next two weeks I'm usually awake and asleep every hour or so. That gradually wanes but for first six weeks I'll feel like I have a low-grade flu and feel general lethargy. The whole time, my gut goes nuts any time I eat something delicious: ie cheesy, sweet, greasy, gooey, etc.
Eventually (a few days after exposure) I also develop a rash, usually on my elbows and knees, that itches like poison ivy but is painful to the touch like herpes. Even though I maintain a strict diet since diagnosis, these have left scars that have lasted years, and accidents do happen in kitchens and food processing that can't always be avoided.
I'm glad that OP hopefully doesn't experience the same effects that allow them to try food with gluten from time to time with only minor consequences. I consider myself fortunate to have only developed the autoimmune disorder in my late thirties so I've been able to taste flavors from around the world before I had to exclude ingredients. For me, I believe that being young with the disorder might have felt much more limiting.
Good luck on your celiacs journey and cheers to many more unfortunately life experiences!
TLDR: celiacs isn't just an intestinal issue for some of us with the disorder.
Edit: added lines between paragraphs for readability.
theceliachoe: This was definitely a mild case (and I'm seriously glad it was just tiny toots) I've had full blown shit storms happen just because of pasta alone, it definitely depends on what I'm eating/how my body decides to react to it because I've ate Dot's Pretzels prior to this situation and have had absolutely nothing happen which is why I was absolutely mortified this happened to me! I know I definitely need to try and wean myself off of gluten because when I get older it could definitely escalate to your situation but I do agree I am fairly lucky to only have mild to low reactions at most it's just daily migraines, constantly fatigued, constant trips to the bathroom and horrid cramps. I'm really sorry you also deal with this but I'm really glad you shared your story!!!
jbussey4: Thanks! It's been a real learning curve figuring out what ingredients and preparations to avoid lol. Like I can eat every part of a crunchy taco at Taco Bell but the meat!!! Really, the meat!?!
I developed it after a tick bite/subsequent antibiotics. I'm curious, how old were you when it was diagnosed?
theceliachoe: That's so weird, for me a weird food I can't eat is Doritos without my stomach cramping up followed by trips to the bathroom but I'm 90% sure it's bc of the Whey protein! I was 16 when I was diagnosed so it's been 4 years going on 5! When were you diagnosed?
jbussey4: Interesting... I hadn't put the two together previously but here's a thought that might warrant more research. Whey protein is a byproduct of cheese -making. Many of us experience the symptoms of lactose-intolerance after a "glutening". Medical experts currently suggest that this is due to a damaged small intestine being unable to process the dairy in general, but have not yet identified the mechanism behind it. Maybe it's the whey protein itself?
To actually answers your question... In 2019 at 37, the skin condition I described (technically dermatitis herpetiformis) was identified as likely a result of celiacs. The symptoms were present for about a year before then so it'll be five years for me in March.
theceliachoe: I only assumed it was Whey protein hurting my stomach bc it's a corn chip and blue corn chips/regular corn chips don't hurt my stomach but Doritos do it's really weird but what you've said makes A LOT of sense as to why it would hurt my stomach I honestly didn't even think in the realm of lactose intolerance type of side effects! So that's a very interesting train of thought that I definitely need to look into more!
| 7 | 1.571429 | |
1671241389 | 1671300214 | t3_znv2h5 | t5_2to41 | 1,528 | gazerbeam-: TIFU by mopping incorrectly for 26 years
My entire life, I thought the way you were supposed to mop was go over it once with soapy water, then you’re done. This method persisted through my college apartment (where I did most the cleaning), a job in fast food (which involved mopping), and my current apartment. As you can imagine, doing this leads to a buildup of soap and residue on the floor, making it sticky and unpleasant.
I always thought the sticky unpleasantness was a normal side effect of mopping. I mean surely, I would know if I were supposed to do something **else** than just go over it once with soapy water. The instructions on the cleaner mentioned doing a second pass with water, but only for “full strength” concentration, which I never did.
I could tell my roommates hated when I mopped, although they never said anything. Their shoes made audible noises when they walked, and at one point my roommates loose shoe was physically pulled off his foot. The floor at my work had sticky patches, and my later personal apartment was no different. The issue was somewhat mitigated by using a Swiffer after mopping with soap, which I cannot explain that thought process, but that only moderately helped.
Today, i happened to be googling how to adequately sanitize the floors using a mop, when I stumbled across a bombshell: the floor cleaners website instructing to do a second mop pass with just water. My mind was blown.
I proceeded to mop correctly for the first time in my life, and it no longer feels like I’m walking on a melted fruit roll up.
TL;DR: sticky floors aren’t normal, do a second mop pass with water.
mylekiller: The soap film build up happens with all cleaners (swifter and Mr clean included). Ask any professional, the best method is to throw .5 cup of vinegar in a bucket of steamy hot water. That will also help remove any prior soap film on the floor. Oh, and that’s cheaper than any other method too!
lifelover46: It may be cheap and effective but the smell of vinegar is one of the worst things in the world. Makes me gag personally
ababyprostitute: It really only smells until it's dry. Vinegar is one of the best deodorizers out there.
I love vinegar though so idk how long it takes the smell to actually dissipate.
mylekiller: Yeah the smell is gone in about 20 mins.
waluigi-official: Mopped my floor with a vinegar-rubbing alcohol mixture, and with my home’s bad ventilation, the smell (and alcohol fumes) lingered for at least an hour. I’ve heard you can also add a tiny bit of mint oil (just a couple drops) to the cleaning solution to cover up the vinegar smell
NickyRD: On top of adding vinegar, alcohol solution, and mint oil, sage, and frog guts, I totally recommend 200ml of human testosterone, it's very expensive but the floor glistens afterward.
LittleNemo98: Instructions unclear, balls are gone.
NickyRD: You tried to _use your own!?_
| 9 | 169.777778 | |
1671248160 | 1671337844 | t3_znx53h | t5_2to41 | 10,768 | butterbear45: Tifu by sticking it in my gf’s ass
Like literally an hour ago. Just started to go at it and we were in an awkward position and it slipped out so I quickly tried to shove it back in cause she was really enjoying herself. Moved to quick and carelessly, felt some give after repositioning and went in with authority. She yelled louder than ever and pushed me off immediately. I felt some resistance and thought I just caught one of her lips and it just didnt go in smoothly but after a few seconds she let me know I just stuck it in her ass. I was perplexed yet began to laugh a little cause I was not expecting to here that and she also began to laugh as well as cry at the same time. After a good minute of laying in floor with both of us laughing we made sure she was anally sound. Shes a little sore but handling it like a champ. Definitely killed the mood and ended the sex
Tl;dr i am bad at sex and found the wrong hole and now her butt hole hurts and no sex :(
SK8ERCRE8ER: You can’t just change lanes without indicating dude
Gorthaurl: Lmao, great ANALogy.
paktsardines: Lmao, great ANALysis.
Cherego: I dont know what you are talking about, because Im an ANALphabete
dodslaser: Sometimes it is hard to understand the true meaning of AN ALlegory
Nashiwa: Don't be so ANAL about it, it's fine if he didn't get it!
humboldt77: She’ll forgive him, but he might need to BUTTer her up a little.
spook7886: Should've done that to start with, then he could've avoided this predickament.
DontYouHaveAnEssay: Great POST-ANALysis
crappenheimers: This thread will go in the ANALs of history
Arcadnus: And be broadcast in TV ch-anals
humboldt77: This wHOLE discuss is just clever uses of anal.
| 13 | 828.307692 | |
1671250272 | 1671279623 | t3_znxr9e | t5_2to41 | 125 | Its_Like_A_Dream: TIFU by letting a homeless person use my laundry room
For context, I live in an area with a lot of homeless people. Like the sidewalks of my neighborhood are lined with tents, which is technically illegal where I live but the cops don't do shit.
Anyway, today I found one homeless dude chilling by my front doorstep with a big load of laundry, and he kindly asked me if he could use my washing machine.
Now, I consider myself a generous person, and when somebody needs help I will generally lend them a hand. Plus, the guy got bonus points for not being on meth and wielding a machete like most of the people in my neighborhood. So I told the guy he could go ahead(My laundry room is in a separate area disconnected from my house).
I went inside, went about my daily activities, and basically forgot about it. But when I saw the guy walk by my house a few hour later, carrying what looked like the *exact* load of laundry he wanted to wash, it looked a bit suspicious. So I went in my laundry room just to check.
It's hard to describe with words exactly what I found.
I opened the washer door, and it looked like it was filled with some kind of...*meat*
And the thing was fucking filled to the brim with it. I'm not joking.
Upon further inspection, it looked like some kind of shredded sausage or pepperoni.
I spent about 3 hours painstakingly trying to remove this meat from my washing machine, but I couldn't get it out of every nook and cranny, and it doesn't turn on anymore.
I don't know what I should do. Should I call the cops? Get a new washer wand forget it ever happened? What motivation could this man who seemed kind at first have to ruin my washing machine with an inhumanly large amount of meat? I'm at a loss.
tl;dr did someone a favor, got rewarded with wet meat
noettp: Yeah bro call the cops, weird meat left in your machine what the actual fuck, no real reasonable explanation either, if he's homeless whys he not keeping it to eat or trading it to other hobos.
sarah47201: Maybe he's not a cannibal.
noettp: Haha yeah exactly, if it were just meat then there's no way a homeless dude isn't keeping that, man this spins me out hahaha
| 4 | 31.25 | |
1671254976 | 1671273778 | t3_znz29e | t5_2to41 | 332 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally huffing my GF's rotting underwear fumes
[deleted]
MermaidParty: That's all disgusting and I didn't fully read it, but in defense of washing underwear in the sink this could've been because they were super delicate lace or something. Some lingerie is hand wash only. Still ew on the aftermath of that though.
Washenz: Yeah some girls wash their lacy or delicate underwear in the sink with some hand washing laundry detergent because they'll get ruined in the wash.
mybloodismaplesyrup: Fuck... Buy one of those small Rubbermaid basins and wash inside the bathtub or shower like ffs not where you wash dishes.... This is as bad as the people that wash their asses in the bathroom sink like a bidet.
DiscardedPizzaCrust: Do you not... like... clean your sink regularly? I personally scrub out my sink any time I clear it or am using it for something... build up of food and grease happens so you should be scrubbing your sink at a minimum of once a week, preferably after you finish dishes every time.
mybloodismaplesyrup: Yes, I do. But I still would never wash underwear in it simply out of principle.
DiscardedPizzaCrust: That’s fucking hilarious tbh. I’ve bathed babies in sinks and small dogs. It’s a sink, beach it and rinse with boiling water and it’s fine lmfao. You prep your dinner in the sink or something?
yumirow: Drink my soup straight out of it
DiscardedPizzaCrust: Extra seasoning
| 9 | 36.888889 | |
1671256362 | 1671298876 | t3_znzg5l | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By Faking My Death to My Ex
[deleted]
ChattyBobZero: Dude, is Sam okay and why don’t you care? You skip the two most important parts of the story / what you did and how long for and what lie you used, and whether poor Sam is still alive!
Least_Following3683: i dont know if sams okay because she hasnt replied to any texts. i do care i just cant do much about that right now. the lie i used was i kms and i said i lied like a week or two later bc i didnt want to text her and make her do sum bad bc of me but i had to say im sorry n come clean.
Van_GOOOOOUGH: Why did you delete your story about Sam & Daisy & Elle & your friend telling Sam that you killed yourself, then Sam telling Elle to tell you that Sam killed herself?
Vegetable-Cow-1984: Holy fuck bring it back what a whirlwind
| 5 | 1 | |
1671260974 | 1671297684 | t3_zo0npd | t5_2to41 | -33 | thrrowawayru337: TIFU by telling my daughter I don't want her to do a martial art
I'll just begin this by saying my daughter is 10 and she's really into martial arts, mma, etc. The past month she's been asking my husband and I about letting her sign up to start doing a martial art. We haven't thought it would be a good move and I'd rather she does swimming or plays softball. When I've mentioned to her about doing softball she just says nope and keeps talking about martial arts that she likes.
She was in a fight at school recently with another girl too, I don't feel like doing martial arts would be good in that aspect for her either. This has been somewhat frustrating as she's been totally disregarding what I've been saying to her. I've told her that she could potentially get a scholarship, etc through the other sports and there's more opportunities, but it's not helping. I talked to a friend of mine and they told me that I'm not wrong for how I feel. My daughter has been miserable since this and part of me feels like I fucked up.
TL;DR: I told my daughter I don't want her doing a martial art and would rather have her do something else, now she's mad.
MaleficentPizza5444: You are the PARENT. You didn't f^ck up
twohedwlf: I actually had good parents and trust my parents judgement, but lol at the implication that being a parent means you're infallible.
CatTongueCunnilingus: You know if the commentor above has children they are an absolute rubbish parent lol. If they don't let us hope they never do and don't get into any profession that involves children lol.
Not twohedwlf obviously just to clarify the one above them
Akuma254: Instantly saw therapy in their kids future if they have any lol
| 5 | -6.6 | |
1671219385 | 1671388760 | t3_znn0uj | t5_2to41 | 41 | LukeTheApostate: TIFU by colonizing my fiancee's family
**TL;DR** I ended up researching my family's history today. It turns out that 250 years ago my fiancee's family was forced to flee Crimea after Russia invaded it *last* time, and then my family showed up to colonize it. We're both laughing about it. I think is more "my family fu 250 years ago" but I only found out about it today.
So, there was an r/cooking thread about family xmas food, and I was typing away about what my family ate, and how we're very Dutch with some Irish influence, and then I typed "pierogi" like four times. I paused to think to myself "you know, it's odd that a Dutch family would have a tradition of eating pierogi." So I did a little digging. Turns out that on one side of my family we're legitimately immigrants to Canada from a specific town in the Netherlands. On the other side, there was a hand-waving description of "Dutch Mennonite."
I start Googling. Turns out "Dutch Mennonite" hasn't been Dutch for 500 years. It's a term meant to describe a 16th century protestant sect. The insular religious group moved en masse from the Netherlands to Poland in the 16th century. Then in the 18th century, Poland was going to enlist everyone in the military and the pacifist Mennonites decide to nope out.
Where better to go than the recently annexed "Russian" territories of Crimea, where Katherine the Great was offering *uninhabited free farmland*? So, without thinking too hard about why this great farmland was empty, off my ancestors went to Crimea. 100 years later and 19th century Russia's pulling the same military-enlistment moves Poland did, so off to Canada my pacifist ancestors go, settling in Manitoba where the British government is offering *uninhabited free farmland*. What a coincidence! How lucky! My family settles in and starts eating just a huge amount of homemade pierogi.
I mention all this interesting family history to my fiancee.
My fiancee says "you know, my family's Ukrainian."
"Apparently," she says, "we fled the region because of some big war in the 18th century. We went to Poland, and then came to Canada."
"Oh," I say, sweat beading on my forehead. "Do you, uh, remember which war that was? Or what region?"
"No," my fiancee, the love of my life, says. "But it was a big one!"
I check the list of conflicts in the region in the 18th century. Yep, probably the Russo-Turkish war, in which the Crimean peninsula changed hands.
My fiancee's family fled Crimea. My family proceeded to colonize it at the behest of conquering imperialists after they left. Because of my researching my family's history we now understand our mutual love of pierogi is due to the horrors of war. Fortunately we have a great relationship and much more experience with pierogi than war, so we're doing fine.
Bonus FU: At first my fiancee wasn't sure if her family moved from Ukraine to Poland or Poland to Ukraine, and for about 30 sweaty minutes we had to compare family trees and timelines. The odds of our being related were pretty good if her family had moved south instead of north. We confirmed her great-grandfather went from Poland to Canada a decade before my family moved from Crimea, though, so we're safe.
Derainian: I find the whole sins lf the father thing to be pretty stupid and regressive. You did not invade anyone and your gf herself and her immediate family did not flee anything. This feels the same as the whole "im white so i need to feel guilty because other people generations ago of my race were slave owners" like nope i did not ever own slaves and my parents never owned slaves and my grandparents never owned slaves and my great grandparents never did and yada ya.
LukeTheApostate: I think people who are concerned about it- like me- aren't saying "sins of the fathers! I'm to blame for things other people did wrong before I was born!" I've never heard that from people like me who are concerned about it.
I'm not guilty. I'm *lucky*. But my luck was being born on top of a pile of skulls (technically two piles) instead of the bottom, you know? And it turns out that one of the piles of skulls includes my fiancee's family. And I get to choose how I respond to that, and I think moral horror at the death and suffering that was a necessary precursor to my good fortune is an ethical minimum. I think trying to **fix**, or at least address, the situation where some people are born at the bottom of the pile of skulls might be an ethical minimum. I have the opportunity to try to redress some of the evils that were done *and are continuing to hurt* people born farther down the pile of skulls. Like, the families that fled Crimea didn't settle down and get rich in Poland; they mostly stayed poor and hungry while my family got rich.
**TL;DR** I get to choose how to respond to "oh, I'm well off because of *murder*," and my choice is "fuck, well, let's see if we can help the murder victim's family." Not lashing myself about guilt; stepping up to a centuries-old evil my family's worked for, and trying to chip away at it.
Derainian: I see. Also just saying that was a very well worded and thought out and respectful response to me and i appreciate that. Second i can see how that can lead to you having the feelings on the matter that you do. I guess to me it boils down to you cant beat yourself up about it too much because you cant help where you were born or what happened in past wars that you or your immediate family had no part in. That being said though i find it very respectable that you still want to readress something of this caliber and you sound like a good man.
LukeTheApostate: Thank you!
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1671264137 | 1671269119 | t3_zo1g2b | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by absolutely scaring my classmate
[deleted]
theleeforce: Im confused, did you break into her occupied stall? Or did you look over top of the wall and see her?
Also the fact that you came in slamming doors and throwing shit would be alarming regardless of gender
Status-Count-7323: I would not go into a locked stall. I simply was taller than the wall. Also I may have exaggerated by saying hurled. I tossed the wedge into the garbage cuz I always try to throw garbage first before just putting it in.
Also I didn’t slam a door
| 3 | 2 | |
1671271898 | 1671360852 | t3_zo3a6h | t5_2to41 | -19 | ThrowawayRA7482: TIFU by using a findom client’s credit card to pay for my holiday
I (f21) work as a financial dominatrix where people want to be dominated by me taking their money. I’ve had a client who’s sent me money for years who really wanted to pay for a holiday so I decided to finally let him this year and let him pay for a trip for me and the girls to go to Australia
A lot of the places we booked were Airbnb’s so it didn’t matter that they were booked with his credit card but our last few days are in a really nice hotel. I’d been using his credit card for shopping and spas and things so I didn’t realise the balance left wasn’t enough for the suite charge in the hotel so when we went to check in his card declined and they don’t let checkins with a declined charge
So the weekend before Christmas all the cheaper rooms are booked out and there’s not enough money on my travel card to pay for the suite so I’ve transferred money to it but it takes a while to come through so rn just hoping it comes through soon
tl:dr: used a client’s credit card for an entire holiday and now there’s not enough money for the hotel room
HoAdanac: Do you actually have sex with the guy or does he just give you money?
ThrowawayRA7482: Oh no I’ve never had sex with any of my clients
HoAdanac: People are downvoting you but this honestly sounds like a fucking dream. If someone is stupid enough to give you all their money, even FOR sex let alone not for sex, then who are you to say no? It's certainly not the most honorable profession but if he consents I see nothing wrong with it.
Pretend-Mouse-7967: Probably because the profession is nothing else than taking advantage of mentally ill people. Just disguised as a kink. It’s self-harm with some aid on the harm.
HoAdanac: Is a sexual fetish actually a mental illness? How far do you take this? Do you believe homosexuality is a mental illness? If not, what is the difference?
| 6 | -3.166667 | |
1671275470 | 1671313519 | t3_zo45bo | t5_2to41 | 19,063 | SheDidNotListenToMe: TIFU convincing my Deaf gf to tie me up and blindfold me
[removed]
Strawb3rryPoptart: I'm concerned teenagers are having intense BDSM sex now 💀💀💀
justl00kingthrowaway: With the way the world is today I'm surprised they aren't doing heroin and leaping off a building while having intense BDSM sex. YOLO
Strawb3rryPoptart: You don't have to completely wreck the one life you have :/
Hr_Pind: It's just sex.
Strawb3rryPoptart: *extremely kinky sex out of hedonism which children shouldn't even know of
OldRuskiNoir: You define kinky sex as a blind fold?
Missionary for dinner every night?
Strawb3rryPoptart: Blindfold and handcuffs 💀
They're 17 years old, they should be doing their homework
OldRuskiNoir: It's Christmas break. There isn't any homework.
I think you're jealous.
Strawb3rryPoptart: Bold of you to assume they're American, and you know exactly how that was meant.
I'm absolutely not. I'm merely lamenting how degenerate youth has become
Agreton: Please, do elaborate on exactly how youths are degenerate. I'd definitely like to know.
I'd certainly love to know how bdsm is a degenerate practice. I disagree with children experimenting in lifestyle choices they know nothing about, without any kind of learning or mentor for safety. Degenerate though? I'd love to know more.
Strawb3rryPoptart: I'm specifically calling it degenerate in relation to application by goddamn children. What fucked up mind thinks of blindfolding and handcuffing as supplement to a practice of lust anyway?
Agreton: You haven't actually answered the question. What makes it degenerate? I'm curious. You're the one passing judgement on those you don't understand. I'd like to understand where you're coming from.
All you're stating is that it's degenerate for children to practice kinky sex. Can you not provide a reasoning?
Strawb3rryPoptart: I'm just puzzled you don't see how children having kinky sex and publishing a somewhat detailed article about it is problematic?
Agreton: Young adults should be able to discuss things like adults. They are practically adults. If a child can become legally emancipated, then age isn't a determination of maturity, nor adulthood. It's sad that so many adults treat younger people like children all the time, without realizing they are raising a young human that is growing into adulthood.
If a child can be treated like an adult after getting pregnant while still in high school, then when does someone actually become an adult? Where do YOU draw the line in allowing a young human to grow into a person, or stifle and oppress them by telling them they cannot speak about certain topics, because you believe it's degenerate.
You know what? I've always treated my children like growing young adults. That is the vast amount of respect I have for my kids, because all children are in fact, young humans growing into adulthood. You keep treating them like little children, incapable of making decisions for themselves, and you'll live a miserably lonely life in a senior care facility because no one wants to be a part of your toxic life.
So.... now that I've elaborated, are you going to answer the question? What makes it degenerate?
Strawb3rryPoptart: I just think it's wrong. It's pure lust, and so many of my age, I'm 17 also, basically only live from dopamine rush to dopamine rush, trying out ever harder drugs, bigger parties, rougher sex. It is genuinely disturbing. *Definitely not mature* teenagers are being extremely promiscuous and kinky, whilst conversely having no patience or appreciation for art and learning. I know this is a sweeping generalisation, but this behaviour being normalised doesn't make it better
Agreton: So... you honestly have no basis for stating that it's degenerate that is anything close to factual. Just an opinion and a generalization?
A sweeping generalization... so you know that your opinion is wrong, but a blanket statement covers you from being specific and removes your obligation to support your stance.
Got it.
Strawb3rryPoptart: You do realise that *moral views* are generally hard to base on empirical facts? Because you can always further inquire. I morally oppose everyone falling into egoism, hedonism and moral degeneracy. I understand that some people want to explore their sexuality or whatever, but for Christ's sake, learn some decency
Agreton: Again... what makes it morally degenerate. All I see you doing is dodging the question.
How do you base your perspective on what is moral and what is not? I hope that it isn't the obvious answer I believe it is.
Moral views are subjective. They always will be. Nothing anyone can say or do will change that. Having said that, no one looks at the world in the same way, but you can correlate facts regarding morals.
Were the gestapo moral when they committed genocide against the Jews? To most people they were not moral. To themselves, they were moral and right and just. Just because you believe you are moral, doesn't make it so. Was it wrong to gas hundreds of thousands of jews? That is supported by empirical evidence. This was observed first hand by the people who discovered places like Auschwitz. empirical evidence is often associated with actions and consequences. As an example :
[Long-term effects of the Holocaust: empirical evidence for resilience in the first, second, and third generation - PubMed (nih.gov)](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9870243/)
All I can understand from your statements is that you don't really have a reason to find these actions immoral. Perhaps it was the way you were raised and influenced. People are after all a product of their environment. What makes them immoral? What makes hedonism immoral? Everyone seeks pleasure. Everyone.
Egosim can in fact be ethical. It doesn't matter if someone is doing it for their own self-interest. That's what people do. People have a selfish interest and need to attain friends in their lives. You want to spend time hanging out with your friends. All of this is selfish and transactional egosim, it doesn't make it wrong or right.
Morals? How are those morals decided? You have to ask yourself. When do you stop trying to force your moral beliefs on others even when they are wrong, and allow a person to understand and develop their own morals?
Strawb3rryPoptart: You're making a LOT of assumptions. Morals are obviously subjective, from an irreligious standpoint.
I'm not trying to force anything on anyone. I just strongly disagree with how people nowadays are constantly being polarised, growing hedonism, lack of communal loyalty, ever younger children being ever more sexual, etc. If you see *nothing* at all wrong with any of this, I'd consider you a potential threat to society and we have no common ground, but I'll still respect you as a person.
| 20 | 953.15 | |
1671281558 | 1671283123 | t3_zo5oxd | t5_2to41 | 43 | beanman206789: TIFU by leaving my weed brownies on my window ledge.
So for some context, i prefer to ingest weed than smoke it. Personally the high feels better and lasts longer. I have been using weed this way for a while now and have never had any problems with it, until now.
So this is how the story begins… I went out with some friends around 6pm last night and before I left, I did my usual routine of letting out my dog to relieve herself and fed her a tin of food. I was in a rush and my friend who was picking me up was waiting outside beeping his car horn. In this rush to find socks and get my shoes on i forgot to shut my bedroom door where i had left the brownies on the window ledge. You may be thinking, why is it such a big deal that you left your weed brownies on the window ledge? It is a problem because my bed is beneath my window ledge and anything on there is easily accessible by my dog… I think you can see where this is going. I had returned home at 3am after being at my friends house drinking and when i returned what i found was putrid. My poor dog had eaten 8 servings of brownies (I have one a night) and in turn, threw it all up on the carpet. To add insult to injury she had a also shat on the carpet. I found my poor baby shaking on the bed upstairs presumably, stoned to the bone. I was extremely worried for my dog as cannabis can be toxic to dogs however, she is okay now and is sleeping in bed with my girlfriend and I, just wanted to get this off my chest as i would rather not share the fact i am a stoner with my family.
Thank you for reading.
TL:DR my dog ate a batch of weed brownies and threw up and shat on the carpet, she is okay now.
Kayman718: Wow, doubly dangerous for your dog. Chocolate is also very toxic for dogs. From what I’ve heard dogs being brought to the emergency vet stoned is pretty common. They usually get into it at home or in the case of a friend’s dog, apparently find a lost edible while on a walk.
beanman206789: luckily she is okay, i could barely sleep last night as i was so worried, she had also eaten chocolate before when my brother was a toddler and he innocently shared it with her😂 she is completely fine now and she’s just chilling and she jumped up out of bed when it was feeding time
| 3 | 14.333333 | |
1671287371 | 1671674455 | t3_zo7fdt | t5_2to41 | 61 | RelativeFreak: TIFU by cheating on an exam
I recently had to take an economics exam that would determine my final grade for the course. I've been really busy with personal stuff and other subjects so I haven't really been able to sit down and study for it. I decided that it would be best to try and cheat, big mistake.
On the day of the exam, I was incredibly nervous, but confident in my cheating abilities. The professor hands out the test, which consisted of 3 pages. I start working on the problems and come to realize that I actually knew most of the stuff, but decided to continue cheating in case I was wrong. I solved the final problem on page 1 and before I could turn to the next one the professor yelled "STOP". We all stopped and looked towards the front of the lecture hall, he points directly at me and tells me to hand in my test and that he saw what I was doing, failed me right on the spot. I leave the room pissed off for getting caught.
After the exam was done, I talked to one of my buddies in the class and asked him if he could ask the professor for a blank exam sheet so that I could check out the rest of the questions, I wish I hadn't done that. As it turns out, not only were the questions on the remaining 2 pages incredibly easy, I actually knew how to solve the problems without even cheating. I have to resit the exam in a few weeks and I'm just hoping to pass the class and get it over with. I also went and apologized to the professor a few days later, he took it pretty well and said that I'm not the first nor will I ever be the last and try to cheat.
TL:DR I got caught cheating on an exam that I could have easily passed without actually cheating
fliguana: If you attended a school that values integrity, you would have been expelled for lacking morals to be a decent human being.
Reddit-username_here: Yeah there would've at least been no retaking at my school for academic dishonesty. I'm not sure if expulsion would've been on the table because I'm not really sure what the policy was. I never cared to learn it because I never considered cheating.
hardolaf: At my university, you'd be allowed to finish and hand in the exam. A few days to weeks later, you'd get a meeting invite from the committee on academic misconduct.
| 4 | 15.25 | |
1671278173 | 1671294281 | t3_zo4snx | t5_2to41 | 5 | FizzaRoIIi: Tifu by trying to drink Fanta
Today when I woke up I felt a deep urge to drink the sweet fruity nectar that is: Fanta fruit twist. It’s flavour has me entranced and I find myself purchasing so much of it that I have to push them to the very back of my mini fridge, today I would learn this was an idiotic mistake.
In my state of sugar craving mania I reached back to grab a can of what I thought would give me that warm rush of energy when in actuality the only warmth I would gain from it was a burning sensation in my hand followed by warm liquid oozing down my arm, which was not Fanta. As I held the strange ,bloated can I noticed both sides had inflated outwards I held it on its side which was my greatest mistake by far as I would soon find out.
The next 5 seconds felt like 5 hours.
Both ends of the can blew off like a fragmentation grenade. One hitting the mini fridge and one forcing my hand backwards before ricocheting off it hitting the wall. A flaring sensation rose in my hand I held back a cry of pain. My ears were ringing. As the sweet red liquid drenched my white carpet I noticed chunks of what I thought was ice, but then realised ice isn’t that opaque and wobbly. As I looked at my hand, still clutching the can, I noticed that a lot of the skin from it had seemingly vanished, and as I looked in horror at my surroundings in shock I saw what looked like some sort of eldritch horror as parts of my hand were now lumpy wallpaper.
I sat there in disbelief at the whole incident, speechless as analgesia had set in and I had reached the first felling of calm for a long time. Although I was shell shocked by the preposterousness of the event I could safely say; I’m never drinking Fanta again.
Tldr; can of Fanta exploded in my hand.
DingoSad1235: You missed to mention your verbal diarrhea that came afterwards.
FizzaRoIIi: And the trip to A&E
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1671294699 | 1671303873 | t3_zoa1mj | t5_2to41 | 37 | ashey218: TIFU by buying expired chicken for dinner
I had a really embarrassing moment today that I just have to share. I was at the grocery store, and I was feeling really hungry. I had a craving for some fried chicken, so I decided to grab myself a box. I even splashed out on a weird fancy brand of pre breaded chicken that costs double what the normal stuff does.
I was so excited to get home and dig in that I didn't even bother to check the expiration date. I got home, I fried the chicken and stuck on some chips, and started digging in. As I was eating, I noticed that the chicken tasted a little funny, but I figured it was just because I was so hungry and this was the fancy stuff.
It wasn't until I had finished the entire meal that I realized what had happened. The expiration date on the box was days ago, and the chicken had gone bad. I immediately felt sick to my stomach.
As I'm typing this I'm learning my lesson to always check the expiration date before eating anything, especially chicken I'm just hoping that nobody else makes the same mistake that I did. Ending up spending the rest of the night curled up on the couch, feeling terrible, just hoping that I don't vomit.
Tldr: don't buy the fancy chicken and if you do check the date
beltlevel: Take the box and receipt with you to the store. You're about to get paid.
LeviathanGank: yup get the manager to follow you to the shitty chicken isle and check the chiken.. hopefully it is still shitty.
​
sneaky record it for evidence.
| 3 | 12.333333 | |
1671295952 | 1671328419 | t3_zoai3o | t5_2to41 | 38 | wehttom: TIFU by drifting my parents car
I (20yo male) drifted my parents car without them knowing and I nearly destroyed one of the wheels.
For a bit of context, I had a party at my parents house while they were away for vacations. I invited friends my parents knew and trusted to eat pizza and have a great night. We were talking about cars and how we wanted to build a garage together in the future.
It was getting late but we wanted to go outside for a bit and I proposed to go to a spot I knew with the cars (my parents and friend's cars). During the trip I was discussing with a friend whether or not my parents car could drift. It's a 2018 Kia stonic with 80 HP, it's slow and I was confident it couldn't drift. So under the pressure of my friend and the coming of a roundabout I took my shot. Went into third gear, turned the steering wheel and throttled. Well I was wrong as the car started to slide and I had to adjust the angle.
When we realized what just happened we got really excited and wanted to try again and do it beter. After three others tries under adrenaline I just realized that I was abusing the tires so I went to check and it turned into a nightmare for me. One of the wheels lost a whole chunk of rubber, my heart rate dropped. My friends who told me to not worry don't understand the trust I just broke.
I'm getting really scared what my parents would do if they found out and I don't know if I should tell them first or not. It's a big weight on my heart and I need advice.
TL;DR I destroyed a wheel of my parents car by drifting and I didn't tell them yet.
Splyce123: Tell them right now. If you don't and that tire blows, you could kill someone. You've learned a valuable life lesson here.
fastwendell: Tell them right now for another reason, the trust you mentioned.
Being trustworthy as in honest is more important than being trustworthy as in always making good choices.
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1671295813 | 1671328997 | t3_zoagb9 | t5_2to41 | 193 | Pitiful-Ad-TA: TIFU by asking my best friend if they liked someone else.
It was around 5 am, so still technically today. Me (F17) and my best friend (F16) have been going through a really rough patch. We were talking about things and I asked if they liked person XYZ (F17) . Recently i feel like person XYZ has been replacing me, considering my best friend will constantly talk to them. Well, this really upset them. They felt as if I was relying too much on them, and didn't like the fact I was getting into their other relationships. I understand that completely, and I was in a very vulnerable position when I asked them this question and I completely regret it. They told me to not talk to them for a while. I texted them a long apology a couple hours later and they haven't replied, needless to say I'm kind of in a panic, and worried they hate me now. I've done so much for this person. I care about them so much and I really hope they can forgive me.
TLDR;I asked my best friend if they liked someone more then me, and I accidentally upset them by doing so.
Edit: I didn't expect so much traction. I've added ages and genders for more clarification. Thank you so much for your messages and advice everyone. I see some people arguing in the comments, and I'm sorry about that. That wasn't my intention.
For extra information I do have anxiety and abandonment issues, due to a past abusive relationship I've been in. I'm worried my own fears and anxiety has drove this person away.
They haven't blocked my number on unfollowed me on any social media's, so I guess that's a start?
It's been a few hours later and I still haven't received a text, which I respect.
shyllo: It sounds like your are too attached to this person.
Getting too attached to someone is usually not healthy. They don't have any obligation to stay in your life regardless of how much you have invested them.
I understand attachment is very difficult and have had similar struggles.
I recommend you give this person space and spend some time looking internally and try to take care of yourself instead of relying on this attachment. I know it is painful but, if you go through life seeking this kind of attachment you will constantly suffer until you get yourself some strength to take of yourself.
Pitiful-Ad-TA: Yes, I understand. I will gladly give them as much space as they want, I just want confirmation that they don't hate me, which is something I'm not getting at the moment, and to me that's stressful
lkeels: >I just want confirmation that they don't hate me
Red flag statement.
iteon: I would word this kinder. They're expressing their feelings, they're taking people's advice, your comment provides neither help nor empathy. Take a step back for now. Your comment is more red flag worthy than what OP stated.
lkeels: It reads EXACTLY as intended. Input not required or accepted.
iteon: Your words were better left unsaid then.
lkeels: As with your previous comment, I disagree, and still do not accept your input. OP needs to be aware they have a SERIOUS issue. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to spell it out in more detail. Now, you have a lovely evening.
iteon: It's truthfully not that life-or-death. OP is having trouble, yes, but they're also seeking out help and advice and trying to use it to implement growth and recovery in their life. They've seemed to be open to comments already offering such, which is progress in and of itself. This is not to absolve them of all mistakes made, as we all make mistakes, but allowing growth to also happen.
I apologise that you have not been given the same opportunity and do hope that your unrealistic standards for perfection in areas of human behavioral patterns does not lend itself to your own voices of self criticism and insecurity. Have a lovely evening yourself as well.
lkeels: They have a mental health issue that needs to be addressed in therapy.
| 10 | 19.3 | |
1671299492 | 1671674645 | t3_zobsxx | t5_2to41 | 24 | heirsuit: TIFU by helping my cousin and failing a class
Hello everyone,
I am currently a student at UVA and I just failed a class. My cousin and I are in the same class and we were both struggling with the assignment. I ended up progressing through the assignment and my cousin asked me to show him an example of what needed to be done.
So I sent my cousin a picture of my assignment and tried to explain to him the concepts, but he decided to copy my code line from line and submit it as his own. Now the professor gave me a 0 and I failed the class. I have tried explaining the situation to the professor but they will not hear it. The decision is final, my academic report is ruined, and I have nothing but a story to show for it. All for just trying to help a family member understand the concepts.
I only met this cousin in August because we were both new to UVA and now my friendliness has burned me.
TL;DR Helped a cousin with his assignment and he proceeded to copy my work. Now the professor thinks I cheated and gave me a 0. Causing me to fail the class.
draculabakula: (Note: I barely understand coding so I'm not sure what does or doesn't constitue plagetism in this case)
Go to the dean of the department and say you were failed because someone cheated off you. Read the syllabus for thr class before hand and check to see if the department has guidelines posted online about plagiarism.
If there is nothing about not being able to collaborate on a project with another student and you provide the texts, they might change the grade.
I would ask them if it's possible to receive an incomplete and an alternative assignment to prove you learned the material and that the other person cheated off you.
If you can make an argument that there was nothing to indicate to you that you were cheating by sending picture and that you can prove you learned the material, they MIGHT change the grade.
In general, if you want to help somebody you need to just give them pointers based on their work. Every college class has people who shouldn't be there trying to cheat their way through it. I know several people who cheated or gamified their way through classes, including me.
Also, It sounds like you might be studying CS. Pull the meta data from the photo and match it to the texts. You should be able to lay out a pretty good case that you were only trying to give them an idea if that was actually your goal
heirsuit: Thank you I’m going to get started on this now.
hardolaf: Just an fyi, but be entirely prepared that doing this will result in an actual, official punishment for you. But it will likely not be as bad as just failing the class outright. You did, after all help a cheater. You will likely be formally reprimanded for sharing your work verbatim and probably lose some to all of the credit on the assignment. But you will likely not automatically fail the course.
That said, you should not be talking to the professor but to the dean.
| 4 | 6 | |
1671303506 | 1671322511 | t3_zodauv | t5_2to41 | 141 | DarwinsMonkeyOne: TIFU by saying I was going to teabag my son.
My youngest is nine years old, and he’s already better than me at computer games. I’ve never claimed to be the best gamer, but I’ve always been able to hold my own against most casual competition, and only come unstuck against seasoned or highly focused opposition, and I’ve been beating my other two kids with relative ease for years - even into their teens. But my youngest, he’s… different.
Whether it’s because he’s grown up studying my and his siblings’ techniques, or he just has a natural grasp of what’s required I don’t know, but one thing is clear - he’s good, and not just for a nine year old.
However, I won’t let him play online unless it’s against people he knows. This is because he’s autistic and has no social awareness, so is likely to say something to rile his opponent which could lead to him receiving abuse, which he’s nowhere near equipped to take, and he’s limited to short bursts on the XBox (sorry a PlayStation owners) to keep his anger management in check.
So, today I gave all three of my kids their main Christmas presents early - my reasoning for this is that they have two whole weeks off and need to keep themselves entertained as me and the Mrs will still be at work ( they still have enough presents to open on the day) - and my youngest now has his own XBox. He instantly announced from upstairs that he was going to “beat my arse” at Halo and that he was “going to make me cry like a little baby”. I responded by shouting up to him that I was going to “take him down and teabag him.”
My wife neglected to tell me that she was on a family FaceTime call, and that her parents, her 3 siblings, and her elderly great aunt had only heard my outburst - completely out of context. Needles to say, I had some explaining to do, and they’re still concerned that a nine year old boy is aware of the concept of squatting over someone’s prone face and perform what is - essentially - a sex act.
It’s going to be an uncomfortable Christmas at the in-laws.
TL;dr - I told my son I was going to have my character teabag his character in Halo and now my in-laws are a little bit upset with me.
Ratzink: Ha ha ha ha! Lol! If this is true you made me laugh.
woif0: and if it isn't?
Ratzink: Why was this necessary?
woif0: That's what I'm asking myself too. Why did you think it necessary to add "if this is true".
Ratzink: Again, was this really necessary? I didn't hurt anyone by putting that. Scroll on and get a life.
link_the_fire_skelly: Was replying necessary? You’re a bit of a hypocrite
Ratzink: They jumped in on my comment to OP over "if it's true." Not sure why that was necessary. I wanted to know so yes a reply would be necessary. My question still hasn't been answered.
TheFakeRomus: Perhaps because your question wasn't necessary?
| 9 | 15.666667 | |
1671303657 | 1671368029 | t3_zodd3p | t5_2to41 | 5 | Sad-Weeknd: TIFU by not remembering to use the restroom
This happened a few months ago. I went to work and got home around 6. Got my first cup of coffee, went out for a smoke and then went to the bathroom. I had my phone in one hand and a couple of beers in the other. I used the hand with the phone to open the bathroom door to go in. I was so drunk that I did not even notice that I forgot the toilet paper. I went straight for the toilet and started wiping. This was in a public restroom, so the bathroom door was open. I was cleaning behind the toilet seat. It started to rain. When I felt the urge to use my phone, I went to the bathroom and went back to the phone. I went to the bathroom and went to the toilet, and got up right after wiping. I got up and decided to use the bathroom again, and this time there was nobody there. I went out to the bathroom and put the phone on the sink. It still had the same amount of water in the phone that it had when I went in the other room. I went to the bathroom and put my phone in the sink and went back to my desk. It was still wet and on the floor.
TL;DR forgot to use the bathroom and went straight to the phone and it was wet.
EDIT: I have been corrected and it was a public restroom, but I really thought it was a bathroom and not a public restroom.
namesnipergd: i had 7 strokes reading this
Cave_Dogg: I found it hard to stroke to
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1671309242 | 1671317370 | t3_zofhsx | t5_2to41 | 3,682 | Bubbly-Explanation: TIFU by shaking my titties at my husband
[removed]
BaronVonNumbaKruncha: I read this while taking my shitties
RepublicOfLizard: Me too homie
BaronVonNumbaKruncha: Dump brothers!
T_that_is_all: I'm kind of upset I'm on the couch and not the toilet right now.
Secure-Acanthisitta1: same, im on my bed
T_that_is_all: So you shit yourself too?
Secure-Acanthisitta1: oh hell nah!...well you do you
| 8 | 460.25 | |
1671310321 | 1671321800 | t3_zofwo2 | t5_2to41 | 1 | bigmacyosmack: TIFU by laughing at a little girl with cancer.
OK I know this sounds horrible but hear me out. This was actually a few weeks ago, but I just remembered this. I went to Washington DC with my Dad and Stepmom. We were walking for about 10 miles then we come across a stage with a little girl standing on it and singing the worst song in english history, “Fight Song” By Rachel Platten. We could only see the back of the stage and there were many speakers, so we could hear her singing very clearly. I start laughing and say how bad the singing is. We walk forward more and I see the front of the stage. “Spread Cancer Awareness”. I am in shock. I thought it was just a talent show or something. Nope. Cancer Patients. The girl was completely bald too. But still, out of all the songs, why Fight Song? Anyways I still feel very guilty about all of it.
TLDR:
I was in DC with my dad and a girl was singing Fight Song by Rachel Platten. I said it was horrible and kept walking. I saw the giant banner “Spread Cancer Awareness” and felt super guilty. Girl was completely bald. Still feel bad.
laurenoranges: I guess you didn’t know that it was a cancer patient, but for some people, Fight Song is something they identity with. Yeah, it’s a shit song but maybe just people enjoy what they enjoy? You should feel extremely guilty.
EffectiveGeneral8425: Why in the world should he feel guilty? Is he meant to have psychic powers and know it was a cancer patient? It’s an honest mistake, loosen up.
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1671311846 | 1671323263 | t3_zogi1x | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by going inside my teenager’s purse
[removed]
BlingDoudouX: Oh my fucking god. There is sooo much to unpack here.
First of all, dont fucking snoop ? Wtf is up with that, youre not allowed to go through peoples stuff like that. And don't throw me the "I'm hEr dAD, i CaN dO whaTeVer I wAnt."
No. Privacy is a basic human right.
"Enjoying your childhood is important" dude she litteraly IS enjoying her childhood by enjoying her time with her boyfriend.
So she can't enjoy her time with her boyfriend anymore because you're a shitty dad. You want her to enjoy her life but then prevent her to.
Nice logic you got there. She's 17, not 8 you need to see a therapist because this behavior is not normal.
Even if you prevent them, they'll find a solution to have sex, I can guarantee you that. So, do you prefer to let them do it in a safe environnement, or prevent them to and find ways to do it anyways but wherever they can find.
throw-tifudad: Enjoying her childhood by doing adult things like sex? Lmao. No, that’s not enjoying being a kid that’s being in a rush to be grown.
TrophiesAndGold: You conceived a kid at 21 after being sexually active for 2 years basically, who’s in a rush to be grown?
throw-tifudad: 19-21 is an adult, 17 and under is not lol.
TrophiesAndGold: Not stating what is an adult and what’s not… kinda pointing out your slight hypocrisy of saying your daughter is in a “rush to be grown” by having sex at 17 while in the span of 2 years, you went from being a virgin to having a kid…
throw-tifudad: Shit happens, wasn’t planned. Either way I was a grown ass man. Not comparable to a child fucking.
GirlsAndChemicals: You just referred to the creation of a human life--your own child, specifically--using the phrase "shit happens." If that's thinking like an adult, I can't say I really see the point in waiting for adulthood before you have sex. Doesn't seem like it improves anything.
throw-tifudad: Y’all must love to nitpick every single thing lol. “Shit happens” = unplanned pregnancies happen to the person who was clearly acting like I planned my kid at 21.
GirlsAndChemicals: I'm not sure who else is getting lumped into that "y'all" but I'm one person, and I was pointing out the very cavalier way you just addressed your unplanned pregnancy because it sounds very hypocritical. I understand that they happen. I'm saying you don't sound too concerned about it when it comes to you, but when it comes to your daughter, her having sex *at all* is an issue even though it sounds like she's being more responsible in her attitude toward it at her age than you are even to this day. If that's "nitpicky" to you, I really don't know what to say.
| 10 | 4.4 | |
1671310401 | 1671339750 | t3_zofxpn | t5_2to41 | 4 | Spunkb0y: TIFU by telling a cleaner that she’ll never make money in her line of work.
I (M19) am a Music Producing student at university. I was having a smoke outside and started a conversation with a cleaning lady. Really nice lady and having a nice chat about uni. She asked me what I was studying and I mentioned that I was studying music. She then joked asking if she could work for me for extra money. To this I said (wait for it) “you’re in the wrong business for money”. I meant to say that the music industry wasn’t great for money but you can see how that sounds. I apologised and tried to rectify my mistake but I fear the damage has already been dropped. Guess I can never show my face on campus again :D.
Still cringing.
TL/DR - my dumb ass can’t seem to word sentences properly and because of this I insulted a very nice lady.
Virus-Downtown: I know a woman who has a commercial cleaning business. She has a contract with a few offices and goes to one of them each day. She makes comfortably into 6 figures. What do you think your doctor makes?
Ok_Rhubarb7652: OP was intending to say the cleaner would be going into the wrong business for money if she went into the music industry, that was the whole FU.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1671311806 | 1671389414 | t3_zoghgt | t5_2to41 | 656 | thathighcat: TIFU by splooging blood on the first date
Ok this happened a little over a year ago but I was reminded about it after the video popped up again in a group chat. I went out skateboarding and decided to try a trick I’ve been wanting to film for a while. On the very first try, the board ended up between my legs in the air and I landed on the ground with it vertically impaling my testicles. Was on the ground for a minute but I guess the adrenaline was still pumping and after 15 minutes I tried again and landed it. Testies felt really sore afterwards, it hurt to even just touch em. I should’ve probably stayed home and tended to my gonads but I was so stoked on landing the trick that I decided to suck it up and soldier through my evening, which included a first date. The hours leading up to the date, I would periodically feel my sack to gauge the pain. To my surprise, soreness had considerably gone away and I had only felt a little bit of pain (maybe a 3/10) when touching them. I felt confident in the state of my genitals and proceeded to leave for my date.
Date goes better than expected, and we end up going back to her place to enjoy some sophisticated adult entertainment (sex). There was a little discomfort during the act but I fought through the pain till the very end. However things take a turn for the worst when I pull out the money shot. After I unload my baby batter on this poor girl’s stomach, we watch in dismay as a dark red liquid pools around her bellybutton. Both our eyes are wide while we look at each other in horror. I then remember the incident from earlier, which I had temporarily forgotten during our passionate copulation. I show her the video, which eased some of her concerns but I could still sense a bit of worry. While I was glad that she was understanding, the awkwardness of the situation was so great that I promptly left after we both got cleaned up.
TLDR: I sustained physically trauma to the genitals and came blood on the stomach of a stranger.
Edit: Yes protection was used, it was her idea to finish on her.
Edit 2: I did end up seeing a doctor the next day (albeit one from a walk in clinic cause I don’t have a family doctor) and he told me that it’s quite normal after getting socked in the nuts. Told me to come back if it persisted for a week but thankfully the bloodnut only lasted for another 3 days.
BirdsongBossMusic: Imagine hitting yourself in the nuts so hard that it hurts hours later and hurts during sex, cumming straight blood, enough blood that your cum is DARK RED... and then NOT going to the hospital. You're lucky you didn't lose your testicles or bleed to death internally bro.
r/whywomenlivelonger
frooglybear: I cam blood several years ago. It was brown over red. A few doctors visits later am a urologist tells me it's pretty normal and I'm fine.
Ok-Acanthaceae-4609: In what world is that normal 💀
ascii-lurker: I mean not surprised, I went to the local docs at 15 here (3 times) because my knee was extremely painful, kept locking up and swollen to the size of a small football. Doctors diagnoses? Growing pains, should sort itself out. After several months of no improvements I went to a private one with some referrals and scans found out my cartilage/joint bone has decided it wanted to move out.
legal_bagel: I was walking around with a ruptured ACL for 3 years even after 5 xrays, 3 MRIs, 3 injections, 2 rounds of PT, yeah. Finally had it replaced last June with a cadaver tendon and I've got at least 3 mos of PT left.
Surgery with insurance: 3500
Without insurance: 30,000
| 6 | 109.333333 | |
1671316011 | 1671316442 | t3_zoi4ts | t5_2to41 | 28 | Proof-Internal-653: TIFU by accidentally peeing on the floor while my friend stayed over.
I (17) should preface this by saying I am a trans dude. I have crippling dysphoria, and as a result I've bought many things to sate the dysphoria until I can turn 18. Trans tape, binders, and - most recently - an STP. STP just stands for "stand to pee."
So I've been "practicing" with it and I'd say I've gotten pretty good with it! It helps me a lot with my dysphoria and I love it. It is a bit cheap, but I also did buy the cheapest one so lol.
Anyway, today my friend decided to sleep over for the weekend. I don't have many friends, so this was my first sleepover in about a year. We had a BLAST today and yesterday. We went to Starbucks and got cake pops, went to the library for a couple of hours, and came home to play Smash. After a bit, he and I go back out to get some icecream, and I really need to use the bathroom.
Being trans, though, I hate using public restrooms so I decide to hold it until I get back. It takes a bit, and when I finally get home, I need to FUCKING PISS. SO DAMN BAD. I'm pacing in the damn elevator trying to hold down the mf waterfall about to start in my pants.
So when I finally get to the bathroom, I pull up the toilet seat and rush trying to fix my STP. First mistake. I notice that the stream out of the STP is a bit slow as I piss, which I thought was unusual since I REALLY had to go. I thought it might have just been building up near the top, which is something it does sometimes since it's really cheap. I finish, and lean over a bit to turn it to dump whatever build up there was. There was barely a build up. Huh.
So I start to pull up my pants when I look down and see my boxers were SOAKEEED. FUCK. I DIDN'T PUT THE STP IN THE RIGHT PLACE.
I'm now panicking because my pants, underwear, AND BATHROOM FLOOR is now covered in piss. And my friend is in my bedroom literally right fucking next door. So I speedrun running out of the bathroom in wet clothes, grab new clothes as my friend isn't looking, grab the nearest cleaner I could find and rush to clean it.
I ended up throwing a towel over it after spraying it, and now I'm just praying I never make that mistake again 💀 I am now lying in bed, typing all of this out as my friend is chilling beside me. Sorry, Anthony.
TLDR; tried to pee using a transgender STP device, misplaced it, and soaked my floor and clothes in pee while my friend was in the room beside me.
winterbunny13: Oh my. >.< I'm sorry that happened to you. Shit (or in this case piss) happens. It won't be the last time something like this happens to you, because life just kinda fucking sucks but for what it's worth I'm sending you good vibes.
Have a good rest of the sleepover and try to forget about this. Not the worst thing in the world to happen, but everything is life and death at that age. Chin up, dude.
Proof-Internal-653: Lmao yeah, live and learn I guess. Thank you!! I'll definitely try to enjoy the rest of the weekend tho, since it'll be the last time I see him for a while
| 3 | 9.333333 | |
1671315313 | 1671395269 | t3_zohv3y | t5_2to41 | 949 | urmumisamilfhaha: TIFU by meeting with an old friend
So context is key here - me and this girl ( i'll call her A ) we're close friends in secondary school ( so around 3 years ago ). She dated my ex and became really obsessive and started stalking him when they broke up. We fell out because i told her she needed to stop because it was really concerning and she got pissed at me saying i was taking her side.
Now fast forward to last week. I got a message from her asking to meet up and catch up. I thought nothing of this and agreed.
The day of our meet-up comes and everything is going fine until she brings up our ex. She starts telling me that she's found out the dates he's going out and asks me to come with her to these places he's going and "dress really hot to show him what he's missing". I'm immediately like wtf and ask if she still feels the same about him. She tells me she's over him but continues ranting about him.
After her rant about the guy, she starts mentioning things about me that only my family know - things like medical appointments and conditions ive been diagnosed with. When i asked her about this she told me not to worry which freaked me out.
After this i told her i had to leave as i had to pick my brother up from school. We had an awkward hug and parted ways.
For the next few days she kept popping up wherever i went - shops? she's there. doctors? she's there. school run? she's there. meet-up with friends? she's there. go on a date? she's there.
Now we come to yesterday. I was emptying out my bag trying to find my clock in card for work when an airtag fell out. After looking at the last few digits of the phone number registered to the airtag i realised it belonged to A. She had shifted her obsession with our ex onto me, and idk if i want to find out why..
I can't believe she'd go that far but at the same time it's also believable.
TL:DR - met up with a girl i was friends with in school and found out she'd stopped stalking the guy we both dating and started stalking me using an airtag.
Holyskankous: Just tape it under a seat on a bus, or hide it in an uber.
Or better yet, give it to someone on here and let them mess with her
Taticat: That’s a brilliant idea — start a network of Redditors who randomly pass airtags and other tracking devices to each other, walk around with them for a while, and then pass them to the next person to do the same. 😂 It’d be hilarious to have these nutbag stalkers going from Nashville to Provo to Sacramento to Cincinnati to Boston, looking for their exes and stalkees.
WeissMISFIT: Send it to me, she's gonna love NZ!
Alexander-Wright: UK here, I'm up for this!
FortuitousDesign: Then holiday to Australia after that. Me next!
dramatic_walrus: Italy after that! Gonna be an expensive trip for her
parrotopian: Ireland, but send her from UK to Australia first, then to Ireland and àfter that to New Zealand and back to Italy. Got to do it in the most "efficient" order.
Corporate_slave98: You forgot one…South Africa after Ireland and then to New Zealand😌
| 9 | 105.444444 | |
1671320135 | 1671632433 | t3_zojpgm | t5_2to41 | 196 | the__6-1-4__: TIFU by helping my wife with her ancestry research.
During the pandemic my wife and I got really in to doing ancestry research for both of our families. Her dad has always been pretty quiet about his side of the family but there were rumors that my wife's family had some..interesting history, so we were intrigued and once we hit a roadblock for my side, we jumped in to the rabbit hole that is her family history. We learned that my father in laws grandfather, let's call him Joe, wasn't a great guy, he fled his hometown after getting in to a shootout with a hotel proprietor (in the 1910s) and his brother was killed in that shootout. He fled there to another state and changed his name slightly, all of a sudden on the census, he has a son that bears the same name (let's say Peter) as the brother that was killed, the son would have been about a month or two months old when the shootout happened. We have a theory that maybe he took the child that would end up being my FILs father and raised him like his own. In addition to being a fugitive, we discovered that Joe had two wives in his new state, and a wife he left behind in the old state, and had kids with all of the women as well. We decided to stop doing the research once we found out that one of Joe's daughters grew up and married someone with the same last name as my FILs new wife's maiden name, in the same town they are from too. When we decided to go discuss some of these findings with my FIL, he went red, then super pale, then just told us it's none of our business and he doesn't like that we went behind his back to do this. We haven't spoken since then, that was two months ago. We were all pretty close before, and spent holidays with him and his wife's kids, but this year it looks like we will be on our own.
Tl;dr - my wife and I spent the last couple years doing ancestry research on her family and discovered some potential family secrets, discussed the findings with her dad, he got pretty upset about it, and now he won't speak to us.
SwingmanSealegz: Before I read, I’m gonna guess family tree is actually a bush.
WesternEmoWitch: Hopefully not a wreath
XxIMxFADEDxX: Take my poor mans award this made me LOL
WesternEmoWitch: Thank you 😊 I’ll be here all week.
XxIMxFADEDxX: So whatcha got for me today? This is my new advent calender...
WesternEmoWitch: Uhhhh ummm… hmmm…
Did you know that before crowbars were invented, crows had to drink at home instead?
XxIMxFADEDxX: Bahaha that's a good one, honestly never heard it before but will definitely be using it... cheers my random internet friend
Stay~Faded :)
| 8 | 24.5 | |
1671326378 | 1671418165 | t3_zom8kf | t5_2to41 | 40 | CHICKENGIRL20: TIFU NSFW
My(20f) boyfriend(19m) and I were having sex for the first time in 2 months. It was in my car and on a back road because we both are still living with our parents as I am in college(last year) and he is trying to build some savings. Well the condom broke and neither of us noticed in time. I love him so much and if it were going to happen with anyone, I'm glad it's with him. We are both so young still though and have no idea how to navigate life on our own. I scared that if I happen to get pregnant, it will be too much stress for us or we will not be able to properly care for a child.
I'm also worried about our parents. My mom has been on a war path since my little brother and his wife moved out of state. Nothing I do is right anymore so I've stopped trying, which makes her angrier. And my bf's father keeps threatening to through him out of the house because he's "not doing enough". He works 60 hour work weeks most of the time. He helps with house work and he is making payments on the money (roughly $7000) he owes his parents. It's not going to be pretty if I am pregnant. Especially since we are both agree that while abortion is an option for some, neither one of us could live with ourselves if we followed through.
TL;DR Our condom broke and I'm worried about a potential pregnancy
charizard_72: So when did you notice the condom broke? I’m confused bc other comments you said plan B wasn’t an option anymore. You didn’t quickly realize after sex it had broke? Then when did you end up discovering this?
I don’t get it. If you knew it broke after, why not just immediately get Plan B as soon as the pharmacy opens.
It’s not clear in this story if you missed a period and are theorizing that’s what happened or if the sex was pretty recent and you knew it broke when he took it off
jungerfrosch: They never said anything about plan B...... also many people who would not want an abortion would view plan B as basically the same thing.
CHICKENGIRL20: On the contrary. Abortion rids you of the fetus. Plan B prevents it from implanting. It basically delays ovulation. That's why if ypu already ovulated, it won't do much good.
CHICKENGIRL20: I would use plan B if it were accessible. But I live in a hyper conservative area that doesn't even teach sex ed in high school. And I already ovulated. I track it very closely.
charleswj: Are you not in the US? I may be wrong, but you don't have a Walmart, Walgreens, or CVS nearby?
CHICKENGIRL20: Clearly you have never been to the rural low income parts of the country. I live in a town where 60% of the population is over 65 and there are 623 residents in our town. We have to drive an hour or more for anything better than a hardware store or gas station.My graduating class was a little over 30 and we were considered big for the school.
| 7 | 5.714286 | |
1671326352 | 1671368451 | t3_zom893 | t5_2to41 | 25 | throwawaydiglet: TIFU by eating.....peas?
ok so this is just a throwaway account since this is kind of embarrassing but i have to say it somewhere. warning it's painful
was having dinner a couple nights ago as most people do. had some good schnitzel with mash and peas. the peas were where everything went wrong....
so for a bit of backstory I was busy and couldn't cook myself so the family was cooking that night. everything turned out great and we had a great meal. unfortunately one specific family member, we'll just call her Bunko, was in charge of the veg.
now Bunko has a track record for being horrible but I feel like this is one of her more evil acts.
she decided as she was cooking the peas to dump in copious amounts of BICARBONATE OF SODA!! do I know why she does this? no, no I do not. but idk if you've ever eaten peas that have been cooked with truckloads of the stuff, so let me tell you, it doesn't end well. or painlessly.
cut forward to this morning I'm laying in bed asleep before being woken up by the most violent of cramps in my lower abdomen. I'm talking that bad I almost checked to make sure I hadn't been sliced open in my sleep. I decided I couldn't lay there and endure the pain so while clutching my gut like a wounded soldier I made my way to the bathroom and got to the toilet as soon as possible before the alien like beast erupted from my body like in the movies.
this is where it all kept going downhill....and got gross.......
as soon as my ass made contact with the toilet seat, a volcano the exact size and shape of my lower body erupted with the most violent, burning ass-lava humanity could ever begin to perceive. at some point I was sure there was a mini war going on back there from the sounds of almost gunshots ringing through the house. all I could do was hold on and pray for salvation that for all I knew would never come.
even as I'm typing this I haven't moved. I'm not sure I can. it's like I'm paralysed from the waist down. will I ever see my family again? am I stuck here? is this my life now? I was gonna go for a walk today but I don't think I can stand anymore....
message of the day: don't eat peas if a shitty family member cooks them. and if you do? good luck
TL;DR ate bicarbonate of soda peas and became the sole inhabitant of the most painful ass-lava eruption known to man
RudeSprinkles1240: Baking soda? Wouldn't that make them taste so bad you couldn't eat enough of them to make you sick? I've dissolved baking soda in water for really bad indigestion-- like more than twice the recommended amount, and didn't get diarrhea from it.
throwawaydiglet: unfortunately I'm extremely sensitive to it and couldn't taste it until it was too late
RudeSprinkles1240: Doubtful.
throwawaydiglet: i- doubtful of WHAT
RudeSprinkles1240: Of you telling the truth.
throwawaydiglet: I beg of you to tell me exactly what is hard to believe about being sensitive to something and then experiencing a reaction to that thing. go on.
RudeSprinkles1240: Osmosis is objective physics and baking soda objectively tastes bad.
Edit: but if your claim is that you're too stupid to recognize that there's an ungodly amount of baking soda in something that should have none, then okay. You're either very very stupid or lying.
throwawaydiglet: okay so let me get this straight.....you choose to claim that something is false because YOU have an opinion on a single object. fun fact, being sensitive to bicarb soda is very much a thing and I react to even the smallest amounts. reason I couldn't taste it? other flavours were overpowering it. I guess next time I need to include a 2 hour audio plus 20 pictures and a flavour sample?
| 9 | 2.777778 | |
1671327938 | 1671338955 | t3_zomrg3 | t5_2to41 | 28 | WhoKnowsTheDay: TIFU by thinking my external hard drive would be safer in the repair than with me, taking 1 year to get it back and finding out I lost all my family photos from 2006 to 2019 (and my ps3 saves)
In the first quarter of 2021 my computer stopped working, not turning on anymore. With no references, I went to a cell phone repair store near my house to see if they worked with computers. He recommended a friend in the neighborhood who fixed computers. The man worked from his own humble home, but was very friendly and helpful. Sometimes he would take a long time to get back to me due to family problems and great demand for service, which I always said no problem and thanked him for his help. In the same way, he answered questions I had about computers, the possibility of building a new one in the future, and kept updating me as he tried to understand the problem and find a solution. Finally, he was able to recover the hard drive from that machine and use it with parts from an old CPU that a friend of mine was going to throw away.
During our conversations I mentioned that my external 1 TB hard drive kept making a noise when it was turned on, as if something was knocking. And as it contained all the photos of my family since we had our first digital camera, it was very important to me. He asked me to take a look at it. I was worried, but since I had no other reference and he had been able to help me with the computer situation without losing the files, I trusted him.
Within a few days he got back to me explaining that from the noise, the external hard drive really was having a problem, and that over time, it would "brick". There was a possibility to try to prevent it, but to do so he would have to open the device and run the risk of losing the contents. So he made a backup of all my external hard drive on his 8TB system and would try to open it and have a look.
I don't remember all the exact details, I still have all the messages from that time, but it makes me very anxious to go look. But some time later, he got back to me saying that there was no solution, but that it was still working, it would just brick up at some point, which could be in days or years. We decided that I would go and get the device. Since his house was not easy for me to get to, we did not set a certain date. He said that there was no problem, that I could rest assured that he would keep the backup until I picked up the device. That way, in case the hard drive stopped working, I wouldn't lose my stuff.
At this time I was also having problems in my family. My old dog and grandfather had started to show a lot of health problems and I was in my first job, having a hard time coping with college. Besides being stuck on a university research project, and if I didn't finish it on time, I would have to pay back all the money the university was paying me. (All the money was still saved with this possibility in mind, but I already had future plans for it).
So I was at the peak of my anxiety and believing that I couldn't evolve in my life and all these college crises. Fact is, I started procrastinating about getting the external hard drive. I never understood people who send things for repair and never pick them up. I have never done this before, but I have become one of them. My excuse is that I felt I couldn't do anything right, and when I stopped to think about the safety of a device with almost all of my family's memories, it seemed much safer with a professional than with me. I was afraid that I would get the hard drive, he would delete the backup, and I would fuck everything else up. I know that backup shouldn't be something so complicated to do, but since I had never done it, it gave me anxiety to think about. The fact is that there are no plausible arguments, I usually just forgot while focusing on other things and when I remembered, I was ashamed of the time that had already passed and anxious about having to go after it, which always only resulted in more procrastination.
Well, the situation remained the same, the guy didn't demand me and I procrastinated even more. Until the middle of 2022 when my dog passed away and I realized how important it was to have those memories with me. The worry became bigger than the anxiety and I talked to the guy, asking how the device was after so long, apologizing for the delay and promising to pay for all the inconvenience. He replied as friendly as before, telling me to stay calm. He commented that his life had also been chaotic and he would have to look for it calmly because a lot had happened and his things were a mess.
I thanked him for his answer and told him that I understood, that I would wait for his feedback and for him to look at it calmly. About 6 months later, my grandfather passed away. The shock was even stronger. After a few weeks of grief, I get back to him asking for an update. He explains that he was not able to look because he was busy taking care of his mother, who was elderly and very weak, and she had recently passed away. He was living on medication and not sleeping, but would try to look in the course of the week. Since I was also grieving, I knew the pain and suffering of this moment. I apologized for not knowing the situation, and told him to focus on his health. After all, if the device was still there, it would not get out of there.
About 2 and a half months went by and I contacted him asking for an update. He replied that as he had said before, he didn't know where the backup was because he had lost everything. He said that the device itself was no longer working at the time he made the backup and that it had probably already gone to the discard pile and his wife should have thrown it away. That he would look on his server and, if he couldn't find it, for me to tell him the amount of the loss that he would find a way to pay. He commented that what happened was intense, apologized, and that he would pay somehow.
This is where the big problems begin. He never said before that he had lost the backup itself, nor that he had discarded the device. As I said, I still have the messages of our conversations and in them we even agreed that I would get the device since there was no way to fix the noise it made. And the biggest problem of all is that there is no value that will pay for what was there. We are talking about the last time my mother saw her grandparents, the last photos of my grandparents, our first plane trip, my only international trip, my entire adolescence and most of my childhood... In addition to photos of family events and everyday life. There were also all my saves from my only video game and everyday files, but this is the least important.
I am not putting him as the only one to blame, I still see myself as the main culprit who let the anxiety speak louder and did not do the basics to prevent something like this from happening.
I've taken a lot of breaths to think about how to deal with it, I've talked to my parents, to my psychologist, and the most agonizing thing is that I have almost nothing to do. It is a crazy situation because there is no time pressure or fear of something happening, because I am already in the worst scenario and in dependence on his answer to get out of it. But of course when I remember, I get desperate. I have always been a guy who liked to keep even the most irrelevant photos because I think they are special, so it is heartbreaking to think of losing the memories of a little more than half of my life.
As much as I was very upset, there was no way to complain to the man or anything like that because I still depend on his good will. I explained that the device had not stopped working at the time as he had said, but that if it had already gone to the garbage, I couldn't even complain because it was my fault for not going after it sooner. But what was on the hard drive were very important memories for me, so I asked him to make an effort to try to find this backup and that I would pay whatever was necessary to help him in case he had to buy some international software or use some other way. He said that he would try to recover his 8TB server/HD because there were important things of him on it and, if he succeeded, my backup would be there too. That he would give me an answer the next day and pointed out that after his mother died, he is on medication and ill, but that in the next few days he would look at it and get back to me. It has been two weeks now...
I sympathize with his pain and want him to get better, but I have said this before and when I returned, I was faced with the worst situation I could imagine. I am too afraid to ask for another update and run the risk of hearing that there is no solution, but I also realize that I am again letting anxiety take control, causing me to take no action. Deep down I feel that he is in a bad way or has sunk into such a mess that he doesn't seem to be that interested in trying to find some way to fix it. It is strange to think that a technician lost an 8TB server/HD with his important stuff on it. He puts himself as guilty, I put myself as guilty. Neither of us is totally right. From my shallow research, here in my country, the professional is only obliged to take care of the forgotten device up to 30 days. But even if I could sue him, it would be useless, because it wouldn't return those photos and videos to me. I tried to appeal to finance because I would really sell the most expensive things I had in order to get those memories back. And the worst part is that I don't even have the physical device to go after another technician. This is definitely the biggest fucked up thing I have ever done in my life.
TL,DR
I took my external hard drive to the repair shop. I forgot to take it back, I was ashamed of the time that had passed, and I only got up the courage when my dog and grandfather passed away. But the technician had already lost the device and the backup of 13 years of my family's photos and videos.
Splyce123: It wasn't a backup if it was the only copy.
SegFaultX: Yeah the real tifu is not keeping a backup.
WhoKnowsTheDay: True, now at least I use Google Photos. And if God and the universe are seeing this and allow me to still recover my photos, I will back them up the same day. Regardless of how many tutorial videos I have to watch on youtube.
caskey: Speaking from a place of knowledge, if you've put your pics into Google photos you're very safe.
| 5 | 5.6 | |
1671327938 | 1671366917 | t3_zomrg0 | t5_2to41 | 34 | photo-nerd-121: TIFU by not walking at graduation
I (21F) graduated college yesterday with straight As this semester. I didn’t walk, that was my choice. But because of that, only a handful of friends knew. My bestie (22F), let’s call her Neil Diamond, and I were making plans for a bunch of people to go out. She ended up bailing the day before so I decided not to go since there were 30+ stranger’s going to the bars. I’m an introvert and that just sounded like hell to me. I had three close friends come over to my place instead and it was so much fun.
I told Neil Diamond that when her thing was over she should come over. She called me, I was on the couch so everyone heard, and she said “no one wants to hangout at your place with you” very loudly. I said okay and hung up. My friends comforted me but it still hurt. My friends and partner pointed out that was messed up and I started realizing just all these other not good things Neil Diamond does/says.
All I wanted was to celebrate and feel supported and loved. When I told Neil Diamond her words hurt me this morning, she said it’s not fun unless there’s a ton of people but agreed what she said was really mean. I retorted with “I just wanted to have fun my own way the day I graduated.” She didn’t know i graduated. I’ve told her several times that this was my last semester. She realized she fucked up. I feel like I fucked up too. I asked for space and she’s been respecting my request.
I’m starting to regret not walking at graduation. But the family members I wanted there couldn’t come. So I just didn’t feel like it was worth it. And in turn didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. My partner and friends last night made me feel better and we were having a ton of fun before the phone call, but having my best friend say that just makes me feel rotten.
TLDR, I told very few people I was graduating college and didn’t walk. My bestie was one of the people I told and she forgot. Proceeds to make me feel like crap for not wanting to go to bars and celebrating at home instead. Therapy Monday is gonna be fun.
So I have an update. The more I talked about it the more things resurfaced. Such as her getting mad at me for not liking her toxic ex. Her making antisemitic comments (I’m not Jewish but am non white) despite me explaining why those kinds of statements are not okay. My therapist says my best move is to simply distance myself and that this is a person I don’t need in my life. She obviously doesn’t care about me the way I care about her. I cried. Done all the “if only’s.” Been pissed as hell. And now, I’m accepting this. I denied all these signs for months and Friday was the straw that broke the camel’s back. If she reaches out then I’ll do my best to stay calm. But I will not be reaching out myself and gave my sister the presents I was going to give her. She knows what she did wrong and hopefully respects my space. Thank you for everyone who helped me realize that Neil Diamond is not my best friend.
imakesawdust: I know you refer to her as your "bestie" but I'm curious where you rank on her totem pole. It sounds like you two have very different likes and dislikes. She likes to party, you don't. She likes crowds, you don't. She thinks hanging out with you at your place is boring. I get the impression that you value her friendship more than she does yours?
photo-nerd-121: Well, we grew close when I was living in the dorms. We just enjoyed each other’s company and helped with each other’s issues. She called me several times when her (now ex) was “causing harm” and I would rush over to save her. But she would get mad at me for not liking him after. On the flip side, when I moved out of the dorm, my neighbors were unalived and she let me, my partner and our pets stay with her until the person was caught. We both have estranged mothers. But we started growing apart because I stopped wanting to go to bars and parties. She says my reasons aren’t good enough “excuses” and I got really frustrated with that. So Friday was just the cherry on top
photo-nerd-121: I should also mention, while I don’t like going I still go because I know she likes it. In the past month we’ve gone bar hopping 3 times, it would have been four if not for this incident. And she’s only come over once in the past 6 months.
| 4 | 8.5 | |
1671327978 | 1671359879 | t3_zomrxa | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by being bulimic and pretending it's not a big deal
[deleted]
Maleficent-Oil4446: It is a big deal though, look you are beautiful no matter what you see in the mirror. You do not need to put yourself in so much pain, don’t make yourself vomit, eat a healthy amount. This is an endless loop that can only be stopped by you. Quite frankly your friends and family should also have said something it’s honestly sad they haven’t yet
cptwoogy: I agree 100% except for friends and family bit. Theres always the chance they are wrapped up in personal shit as well and are oblivious/ dont recognize the signs. Things that would be red flags to us often arent to others, especially when generational gaps are present. Please dont ever assume how family feels. A lot will be quick to judge family members at the highest standard and we all have way more in common than we realize. That isnt to say thats always the case, but you never really know unless you communicate clearly. Its tough having these conversations but im hopeful you have someone to help you right now
Maleficent-Oil4446: Yeah but the person literally said how her friends knew and did nothing which is really sad on her behalf. I have a friend who went through something similar when I was not doing good mentally and I still talked to her about it because that’s what friends do. I could be wrong about the family part but if they do know same thing goes.
cptwoogy: I know but even with the knowledge whoever could still have major things going on and assume some other really close people have ops back, just got out of a really bad headspace and for their health cant justify helping when their are multiple people in their life that could also. What im getting at is a significant amount of people have issues taking responsibility so to say. There are so many possibilities and im saying lay all the cards out on the table. Im not saying threaten suicide but communicate every relevant detail. Having the most vulnerable conversation possible. No doubt some could have just not been concerned, but couldnt they be insecure about the friendship? Not saying its right, or should be tolerated, but i know i wish people were more blunt with their emotions. It sucks being too naive to realize whats actually happening and what needs to be done.
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1671330811 | 1671358066 | t3_zonq1m | t5_2to41 | 12 | tigermanshazam: TIFU by not remembering to use the restroom
This happened a few months ago. I went to work and got home around 6. Got my first cup of coffee, went out for a smoke and then went to the bathroom. I had my phone in one hand and a couple of beers in the other. I used the hand with the phone to open the bathroom door to go in. I was so drunk that I did not even notice that I forgot the toilet paper. I went straight for the toilet and started wiping. This was in a public restroom, so the bathroom door was open. I was cleaning behind the toilet seat. It started to rain. When I felt the urge to use my phone, I went to the bathroom and went back to the phone. I went to the bathroom and went to the toilet, and got up right after wiping. I got up and decided to use the bathroom again, and this time there was nobody there. I went out to the bathroom and put the phone on the sink. It still had the same amount of water in the phone that it had when I went in the other room. I went to the bathroom and put my phone in the sink and went back to my desk. It was still wet and on the floor.
TL;DR forgot to use the bathroom and went straight to the phone and it was wet.
djfudgebar: Are you still drunk?
tigermanshazam: I’m now awake. I’m sorry for the mishap
| 3 | 4 | |
1671332557 | 1671385974 | t3_zooajd | t5_2to41 | 478 | The_Silver_Lynx: Tifu by guessing the new big boss's age incorrectly
Tifu by guessing my big boss's age incorrectly
Today while i was on my lunch i went into the break room and there was a group of people in a separate department with a lady ive never seen before. I don't know them too well but they turned to me and said "Hey Op how old does she look?" While pointing at the lady i haven't seen before. Without thinking i answered honestly and said i thought she was in her mid 50s. Turns out she was only 38. She immediately got a huge frown on her face and was gave me a death stare and left the break room. The ladies who were originally talking to her said they were trying to convince her she looked young. I found out later shes the new GM for the whole building and every time she sees me, she just gives me a scary death stare right into my soul. I said hello to her and tried to apologize while were in the elevator together and she didn't say a single word. Other women in the building have been giving me the stink eye too so im pretty sure im getting trash talked. Im scared she's going to find a petty reason to fire me and i don't know what to do.
Tl;dr I was asked to guess a new person's age where i work. I guessed mid 50s but shes only 38. Turns out she's the new gm. She got upset and everyone is salty at me now.
SpeedDemonCBR: And now you know the lesson of "always say lower age for a woman" haha. Just be a good employee, if they don't have an actual reason to fire you that's a pretty good way to get themselves into trouble with stuff and easy case for you to win.
The_Silver_Lynx: Yeah i thought about that after... Oops. Where i live you can get fired for no reason so hopefully she doesn't try to get revenge
SeparatePromotion236: Hang in there. You did nothing wrong. No one should be asking you that question.
Also this whole “they were trying to convince her she looked young.” They are pandering to her and she’s got a complex, not your issues. I find ageism and expectations around how a person should look at certain ages need to be smashed.
HippiFresco: My ex used to say,” White people age like milk..”
Ahllhellnaw: Also "black don't crack"
Both are pretty accurate honestly.
GaryKrishna: Not crack the drug!
-Michael Scott
-Gary Krishna
| 7 | 68.285714 | |
1671332765 | 1671337737 | t3_zood1r | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by hitting a pole and not calling the cops
[deleted]
FlatwormObjective: I just hate when I get yelled at and then that yell CAUSES ME to HIT A POLE!
Not the yellers fault dude. Your fault.
bkhem: I never said it wasn’t my fault
FlatwormObjective: I feel like you kinda did when you said the hitting of the pole was CAUSED by them yelling at you, not by anything you were doing…
You did take blame on running the red light though, sorta.
| 4 | 2.75 | |
1671334073 | 1671335913 | t3_zoos37 | t5_2to41 | 30 | Summerie: TIFU on my dog's 13th birthday, by Googling the life expectancy of a Labrador.
[Why would I even do that??](https://i.imgur.com/nJ8KyZ5.jpg)
I am such a mix of thankful and terrified right now.
I brought Jake home when he was eight weeks old. That moment is forever stamped as one of my my favorite in my mind. The drive home with him snuggled on my chest, yelping because he missed his mom, and realizing that now it was supposed to be my job.
I kept asking myself "What have I done?" Even though I had planned and planned, I kept second-guessing whether or not I was really ready to be this responsible.
About a year later I learned that I was, when he had an accident and needed emergency surgery. They made it very clear that they could either save his life, or if I couldn't afford it, they would make sure he passed peacefully.
Well, he is still here.
That was really the only "health scare" that we have had in 13 years. He is a Lab, so we've had an ear infection or two. He will obsessively lick his leg in a spot long enough to make a granuloma problem if I don't catch it early. But that's it! As long as I make sure there isn't any chicken in what he eats, he doesn't itch or chew at himself.
He has slowed down a bit, and it takes him longer to get up the stairs, or off of the bed than it used to. He has a lot more trouble on the wood floors, because he loses his footing, so we have laid out runners to the places he needs to go.
His eyes might be a little clouded, but they are still focused and mischievous, but most importantly, they are full of love. I can't even describe what it feels like when I am sitting on the couch, and he flops his head down in my lap, and looks up at me.
TL;DR, Don't ever look up the life expectancy of your pet. They don't factor in how much you love them or how much they love you.
kingofzdom: I've got a very well loved ragdoll cat that's approaching being the "world's oldest living cat" as he is older than I am (24) while Google says Ragdolls max out at 18.
He has a little trouble grooming himself but he gets like 20 hours a week of brushing from me so his coat stays pretty clean
zero_cool702: I had a cat, don't know what kind, but she lived to 23 and we were both the same age.
| 3 | 10 | |
1671334455 | 1671351986 | t3_zoowj9 | t5_2to41 | 192 | [deleted]: TIFU masturbating in the car
[removed]
Jazzmus0: This is stupid as fuck.
cech_: I feel like the TL;DR didn't really sum it up right.
More like "I edged for 3 hours an a car ride with family, everyone watched me explode cum far and wide"
But yea highly suspicious that its made up.
__babyslaughter__: Thought it would be blue balls story at first.
My church crush let me keep my hand down her pants for a three hour bus trip way back when. (I think I spent the entire time an inch or two above any sexual part of her lady parts 😆)
Once it was time to get off the bus I was perplexed by a bruised, constipated feeling in my gut and balls and realize that nursing an erection for that long put me in a world of hurt
cech_: Well if you fired one off in the bus you might have your own TIFU thread lol
| 5 | 38.4 | |
1671336083 | 1671673676 | t3_zopegx | t5_2to41 | 9 | coquetteillumi: tifu by purchasing a diy boba kit from walmart
my cousin (f18) and i (f19) decided to go on a late night walmart run before i go back home for christmas holidays.
as we typically do on our walmart excursions (because we only ever go because we’re bored), we just walked around the whole store grabbing whatever we wanted or needed. as a teenage girl, it is no surprise to anyone that when i saw an at home instant boba kit for $8 (and enough ingredients to make 3 things of bubble tea), that my broke college student ass threw that right in the cart without a second thought.
i decided to make the boba when we arrived back at our grandparent’s house. i followed the instructions on the package, starting by mixing the milk tea powder with hot water then adding the boba, which was all stuck together in this tiny vacuum sealed bag. after that it said to microwave the already hot tea for 45 seconds. i put the homemade boba in a bowl because i was worried it would boil over while spilling tea everywhere in the process.
had to use oven mitts to take the bowl out of the microwave, stuck it in the fridge for a few minutes, spilled everywhere pouring it into a glass and the boba texture was disgusting they tasted like bread, milk tea part was manageable at best.
now im a broke college student with a broken heart and am $8 poorer because of this horrible mistake.
tl;dr: wasted money on diy boba kit and ruined my grandparents countertop
clandahlina_redux: You have get a pack that makes 4-5 from Trader Joe’s for $5 or so. Much better, I’m sure.
coquetteillumi: i’m canadian so don’t have trader joes unfortunately but will ask my dad and stepmom to pick me some up next time they go🥲🥲
hardolaf: Trader Joe's is just the brand name for Aldi Nord in the USA. I believe that Canada has either Aldi Nord or Aldi Sud at least in the major cities.
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1671334184 | 1671361639 | t3_zootc4 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Unusual-Friend-9768: TIFU by drinking our friend’s homemade Irish cream
My wife’s long time best friend is very proud of his concoctions. It’s Christmas time, so he gave us some homemade Irish cream. Yum! So today I made some coffee, added the Irish cream, and it was delicious. I polished off the entire mug and then found this weird thing that I assumed was some clotted cream at the bottom of the mug. I tried breaking it up. No dice. I fished it out. Well fuck. Why’s it so… chewy? Yup, it’s a piece of chewed up gum with a hair on it. How the fuck did a piece of chewed up gum get into our Irish cream bottle? Was it the wife? The kid? Who knows? I’ll still drink it. I think others might be more out off than I am. It was tasty stuff. The Irish cream, that is. It had a certain je ne sais quoi…
TL;DR I fucked up by drinking Irish cream with some chewed up, nasty ass gum in it, but still enjoyed it.
djquik1: Irish cream?
RudeSprinkles1240: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/23534/original-irish-cream/
| 3 | 1 | |
1671342016 | 1671382783 | t3_zor755 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining my chances with the hottest and most caring chick I’ve ever been with by drunkenly making out with her co-worker.
[deleted]
jungerfrosch: *let me fix this for you.....
You got drunk and chose(drunk or not, you were willing) to cheat on your gf and it got cought on camera. There ya go, your story told accurately.
If you were actually passed out the videos would show the bartender making out with an unconsious person.... clearly it does not or this would have had a different ending.
holdMyBeerBoy: The double standards on this is amazing, if it was a women who was almost black out and a man tried to make out with her would be seen as a rapist but since it was inversed it is ok…
jungerfrosch: I never claimed it was ok from any side.
holdMyBeerBoy: You did said he CHOOSE to cheat while he was blacked out.
jungerfrosch: I mean he did.... same as a woman in the same situation.
This is a separate thing than saying that they were in a state of mind to give consent. Unless you're saying that everyone without exception will cheat on their significant other when they are drunk.
His actions and her actions need to be looked at separately.
holdMyBeerBoy: He said that for what he could see on the videos, he never initiated anything. And he doesnt remember, so it's clearly an assault, he was just to drunk to realize, he could even be dreaming or seeing his "gf" while passed out.
jungerfrosch: Will he also said she was drunk as well..... so a mutual assault? It would be right? Charge them both.....right?
holdMyBeerBoy: Drunk and blacked out are 2 completely different things dude.
jungerfrosch: .... but neither can give consent.... and he wasn't blacked out in the video.
So he's the only victim because he's "more drunk"?
holdMyBeerBoy: Dude, he was blacked out, blacked out isnt drunk, when he regain consciousness she was kissing and hugging him.
She saw he was already drunk before she started to drink, she proceed to wait for him to lose consciousness to move…
fizzypopx: OP says in one of his comments ‘I was conscious but have zero memories of certain periods’. That’s not being unconscious, that’s just being very drunk.
holdMyBeerBoy: Unconscious, on the other hand, refers to being unaware or performing something without realizing.
fizzypopx: Yes, and he wasn’t unconscious, so I don’t know what your point is.
| 14 | 0.642857 | |
1671347007 | 1671347907 | t3_zosja0 | t5_2to41 | 52 | CrashStreetKid: TIFU by leaving my vibrator on the countertop
I recently bought a small bullet vibrator and I’ve been good about hiding it since I live with my parents. Maybe it’s because of how sleep deprived I am from finals, but for whatever reason, I completely forgot to put it away after my shower. I left it on the bathroom countertop next to the sink(the bathroom I share with my dad, mind you) while drying off, only to forget about it when I went back to my room. It wasn’t until two hours after, that I realized I had left the toy in the bathroom. The worst part about it is the fact that it looks like a vibrator. There’s no mistaking it for anything else. I don’t know if anyone used the restroom after me, but I am absolutely mortified.
TL;DR I forgot to put my vibrator away after using it in a shared bathroom
RowdoRadge: You should leave a giant dildo in the fridge and hang up a sex swing in the garage. They won't even remember the vibrator.
EntasaurusWrecked: I like your style :)
| 3 | 17.333333 |
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