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1671654913 | 1671752489 | t3_zs0225 | t5_2to41 | 89 | blankjchau: TIFU by checking my old emails
So for context, I work in the film and television industry as a freelance audio technician (recording, boom operating, sound utility, etc). Just graduated from university for film production in August 2021, and by all means, a rookie. A few, more experienced sound professionals in the industry, have my name in their recommendations network.
So today I was going through my emails from old productions looking for some information, and I came across one that I didn't pay much attention to at the time.
Someone reached out to me from a recommendation to work as a sound utility tech an IATSE (union) set. At the time, I was working on an editing gig and the deadline was coming up, and I wasn't really aware of what the film was, I thought it was just another random production going on, so I turned it down because I felt I was busy already.
Well I should've taken 30 seconds to do some research.
**The production in question is Sarah Polley's** ***Women Talking.*** **Starring Rooney Mara, Claire Foy and Jessie Buckley.**
I missed out on a multimillion dollar huge production, which surely would've been a nice entry on my resume and instead I turned it down for a small gig ;-;
tl:dr - i was offered a position on the set of Women Talking, a film with huge stars and i turned it down because i didn't think it was important for a small editing gig
boersc: Is this a stealth advertisement, as this thing, that I never heard of, is launching tomorrow?
Definitely feels like it....
Scarscape: Was about to say, I’ve never heard of anything about this film or those actors in my life lol
PeKenaLarVa: You don't know Rooney Mara? She's been nominated for the Academy Awars twice and won Best Actress at Cannes. She's also Joaquin Phoenix' girlfriend.
Scarscape: tbh i’m just not very familiar with whose popular these days lol
| 5 | 17.8 | |
1671675274 | 1671740942 | t3_zs965b | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by Becoming an Author
[deleted]
guest758648533748649: You didn't become an author, you randomly made a self published book which sold a couple copies. Of course they haven't paid you 17 dollars, I wouldn't either, it's not worth the effort. You need to advertise to sell books. Or perhaps your cover is just bad
Colton_Omega: I didn’t want to be a dick but yeah…. I totally agree. My GF has been writing several books years, she yet to be published because finding the right company is extremely difficult. To consider yourself an author after making a single children’s book that took 3 days and “published” using the easiest publishing method outside of digitally releasing it is laughable at best. You aren’t an author, you are in the same category as the dipshits that take photos with their phone and call themselves photographers.
JefferyTheQuaxly: This exactly, even really really good childrens books can take meeting dozens of publishers before finding one that likes your book and thinks itll be a good fit for their collection/catalog (looking at harry potter here mainly). self publishing at a minimum should involve a bunch of advertising/marketing to help tell people why they should get your book. thats what the publishers themselves do, they know how and where to market books to get the word out there.
[deleted]: Hello guys, you obviously do not know what the term author means. An author a "writer of a book, article, or report". Not once does it say that the person even needs to be published. But here's the thing: indie authors are self-published. Publication is still publication. I do not have to be famous to be an author, and you guys are very obviously unaware of the requirements of being an author. I'd advise you three do your research on what it takes to be considered an author before making a comment that has absolutely zero basis.
I do not even have the funding to do advertisements for the book. That can cost a lot of money, and it is not worth the risk of the advertisement going haywire. But thank you three for your opinions. You're entitled to your opinion, but that does not make it fact. And what you've said? Not fact.
Squigglepig52: On the one hand - you area writer, you have written stuff.
But you aren't exactly a published writer, self-publishing doesn't really count, status wise.
And, to be honest, you were never going to get a passive income from that project.
[deleted]: We aren't talking about status. We never were. We were talking about fact. And, to be honest, you haven't read it, so how could you know?
Squigglepig52: The fact is, nobody is going to take you seriously as a "published" author. Self-Publishing actually doesn't count to any pro in the business.
Because most people make very little, if anything, from self-published works. Self-publishing is regarded as vanity projects. You have no name recognition,no advertising or marketing, no market penetration.
[deleted]: Oh, but you're wrong. Did you know that Colleen Hoover was self-published? With Barnes and Noble? The only reason she's so popular is because she hit it right with BookTok. So self-publishing does count to some.
I'm not successful right now. I'm not asking to be completely successful right now. I didn't expect it. It was a children's book. That's not what this is about, it's about being stupid and expecting them to pay all the royalties.
But with enough effort I might eventually be successful. Who knows? Only time will tell. Doubting someone at first always leads to a mean downfall in the stories, who's to say it won't happen in real life?
Squigglepig52: Who? I've never heard of her.
I'm not trying to put you off from writing - go for it.
I'm pointing out most other writers, or publishers, won't take self-publishing as mattering much.
[deleted]: Colleen Hoover is a really trendy romance author. She writes twisted romance stories. Some say she's sold more books than the Bible (but thats likely an exaggeration).
| 11 | 4 | |
1671677574 | 1671678074 | t3_zsa1fg | t5_2to41 | 10 | No-Front-673: TIFU by hitting my bf in the eye with my glasses
Short story here, this just happened a hour ago.
I have pretty poor vision and I’m poor myself so I can’t afford contacts and I have relatively THIC glasses, my bf also need’s glasses but he lost his pair half a year ago and refuses to go see the eye specialist to get a knew replacement, on with the story.
My bf and I where cuddling watching inside job and he was asked me something about the show so I turned around and then BAM my fat glasses hit his eye ball itself. I profusely apologized over and over while kissing his cheek trying to make sure he wasn’t in any pain and almost having a anxiety attack because I hurt him and I felt like an A-hole for hurting him and him just repeatedly saying “it’s okay it was a accident.” We made dinner after and I still feel like crap for hurting my bf. So now his eye is light red and now I gotta explain to everyone on Christmas that no he doesn’t have pink eye I just accidentally hit him in the eyeball. It’s literally the color of pink eye. And this pink in his eye isn’t going away any time soon and I know what my little cousins will have to say about his eye. That will be fun. I just dropped him off at his house and I still feel like a massive a-hole for hitting him in the eye like that.
Sorry this was a short TIFU story for you guys but I hope it made someone laugh and say “at least I’m not that poor person.” Happy holidays everyone, merry Christmas, and a happy new year to everyone.
Edit: spelling mistakes
TL;DR: hit bf in the eye now it’s a light red color, I almost gave myself anxiety attack, and now I also have to make sure people at Christmas doesn’t think it’s pink eye, and still feel like an A-hole.
[deleted]: OP rn:
https://i.redd.it/rj2hovmmoe7a1.gif
No-Front-673: 🤣🤣🤣🤣
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1671691633 | 1671693722 | t3_zsezde | t5_2to41 | 6 | mickeymoozack: TIFU by not cleaning my bedside table
To start, I have been diagnosed with ADHD (and am not currently on any medication). This tends to lead me to pathologically leave things in the most convenient location, rather then where they belong or could reasonably go.
Now my bedside table is where I put *everything* when I'm in, on, or near my bed. Even if it doesn't fit I find some way stack or push things around so it does. This often leads to things getting crushed or falling off.
The other day I realized that two of my more collectable and expensive video games, *Pokemon Emerald* and *FireRed*, were not with the rest of my game collection. At the time I didn't think much of it as a I busy with something else. Today I was reminded that they hadn't been there and started frantically looking for them. The last place I could remember them being was on my bedside table, and of course I hadn't taken the 10 seconds to put them back with the rest of my games. (These are small GBA cartridges and you could fit both in the palm of your hand)
Now here's the big issue; right next to my beside table is my trash can.
After searching all the places where they could be (and probably shouldn't be), I came to the horrifying realization that they might've ended up pushed off my bedside table, right into the bin. I'd done similar things a few times already, but I usually managed to realize it. I dug through everything in my trash, but I may have been too late. Knowing me, it's pretty likely that that's what happened.
These two games are especially important as not only are they authentic copies of generally expensive games (currently around $70 & $130 USD, loose), but they also contain my childhood save data. $200 might not sound like whole a lot to some people, but as a broke, unemployed, "recent" high school graduate, it's pretty substantial. (Also, my FireRed has a legitimate shiny Mewtwo, for the Pokemon fans that will know the significance of that)
I'll update this post if they pop up. Maybe this is karma for accidentally corrupting my friend's save data several years ago.
TL;DR: I have ADHD and often misplace things. I also don't clean regularly, and may have accidentally thrown away 2 expensive video games with sentimental value.
imlemonyfresh: i feel like you got ripped off paying $200 for games that are like 10yrs+ old. i don’t remember them even being that expensive when they originally came out
mickeymoozack: I bought them years and years ago used when they were both $30.
happy cake day btw
imlemonyfresh: ahh, sorry i read that wrong. they’re available for less though so it’s not so bad.
and thanks btw!
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1671694796 | 1671698224 | t3_zsfzly | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving a stripper my number and getting threatened
[deleted]
Eroue: Wait.....so you exchanged numbers then texted her. No reply.
Then proceeded to text her for a month and a half, with no reply, and thought "let me look up and contact her friend to ask about her"
Your fuck up was not getting a hint and getting really creepy about someone who ghosted you
alotasalad: Well she would respond sometimes. But it was only to mention what club she was at and saying I should go.
In hindsight it was creepy ,I know … prob will remember this fuck up for a while. I’m actually kinda worried about how they threaten Me. But realistically I know it can’t lead to anything.
hiimtim88: It's fairly likely she just gave you her number to get you to keep coming back and seeing her so she could make more money. Particularly if her only messages were telling you when she was working. Think you've been led on here dude.
| 4 | 3 | |
1671681398 | 1671728586 | t3_zsbgbw | t5_2to41 | 38 | anony-meow-s: TIFU by not checking my spam folder and potentially spoiling a Ukrainian child’s Christmas!
This was an ongoing fuck up that I finally realised a few hours ago…
I received an email on Saturday morning from our city’s expat integration service/charity. They were collaborating with other charity groups to give Ukrainian refugees in our city Christmas gifts with a little help from the generous public.
They used Google spreadsheets to outline each child’s name and request, with specific instruction to click on the chosen child’s name and write a comment of when you will drop off wrapped gift/s and what you’ll be getting (if they want multiple things). Sounds simple enough…unless you don’t have the app and you’re on your phone.
No matter! I emailed the organiser and explained my issue, requesting to buy a gift for this specific child. I watched my inbox like a hawk for the rest of the weekend. Nothing. Darn it! I decided to finally install the app on Monday and see if I can request said child this way. Well, I could. However, this child was now blacked out with an anonymous benefactor. I checked my email again to be sure. Nothing. Disappointed but not deterred, I turn my attention to a different child, buying them two of their three requests: a Lego set and some sweets. I wrapped the presents and prepared them to deliver on Wednesday morning.
There were specific drop-off times and the gifts are to be distributed over the next few days. With my screaming toddler in tow, upset that we are going uphill rather than down, I travelled to the integration centre to drop off the gifts. Done and done! Time to prepare for our family’s festivities!
Now, every so often I check my spam folder because some of my legit mail winds up there. As I do I see a familiar name pop up. I check the day it went into the folder: Saturday. _Oh, no!_
It turns out that they had reserved the child for me to gift. I flick my gaze to the clock on our oven: 21:55 - five minutes to the final gift drop-off deadline. I live out of the city now so, unless I’m superwoman, I’m not making it. I write a frantic email explaining what happened, while feeling like a POS for potentially ruining a child’s Christmas after they already had a shitty year of losing their home to war and whatnot.
Almost 7 hours after finding out, I am in bed writing this post because I can’t sleep until I get the gift to the child while my husband and toddler snore away.
Tl;dr - I took part in a gift drive for Ukrainian refugee children and due to a communication issue, I may have ruined a war-damaged child’s Christmas.
TheScruffyStacheGuy: It's not even Christmas yet lol, don't stress it there's plenty of time to fix your little mistake. Deadlines are usually placed early to account for people making mistakes so the organiser of this is probably prepared for this kind of stuff.
anony-meow-s: That’s very true! Luckily they have a gift on standby so I’m very relieved.
| 3 | 12.666667 | |
1671723724 | 1671726608 | t3_zsp0of | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my "pleasure rod" in the bathroom
[deleted]
luckylutwyche28: What the fuck is a "pleasure rod"???
karmeleeon: I think it’s for sounding
luckylutwyche28: Like something you would put in your urethra?
AutisticPenguin2: That doesn't narrow it down much. Like are we taking pen? Pineapple?
luckylutwyche28: Pineapple pen?
All we know is OP is into that freaky shit
| 6 | 2.166667 | |
1671729528 | 1671735229 | t3_zsrfav | t5_2to41 | 15 | SushiThief: TIFU by dying my hair.
Obligatory: This was in 2009.
I've dyed my hair a LOT over the years, and around that time, I (early 20's M) was very fond of dying my hair a deep red color. I also lived with another roommate Steve (late 20's M)
The thing about dying hair is that the dye can get almost anywhere, no matter how careful you are. Whether it be on your body, your clothes, or surroundings, you really gotta look and get it up. Even if you wipe it clean, there's no guarantee you didn't dye/stain something.
A few hours after dying my hair in the bathroom, Steve is acting weird. He's not looking me in the eye, not joking as much as usual, and avoiding prolonged chat. Finally I ask him what's wrong, and he tells me to follow him.
He takes me to the bathroom, points to the toilet seat cover and says loudly, "FOREIGN SUBSTANCE!" and quickly backs out of the bathroom. On the golden-ish toilet seat cover is a little brown spot. I recognize it instantly because I'd wiped a bit of dye off of it. I point to my head, "Dude, it's just a drop of hair dye."
He says, "Uh huh... but what will company think?"
Me: "You think they'll believe someone took a tiny shit on the toilet seat cover?"
Him: "Or it got there... some other way."
I sighed and removed the cover, then ended up getting rid of it because I wanted new bathroom stuff anyway.
​
TLDR: Some of my hair dye got on the toilet set cover and made it look like someone left a little poo on it. My roommate got weirded out and was a bit overdramatic about it.
KrankySilverFox: Good grief. Has he never lived with a woman before. Asking you to clean it up is reasonable. I would do the same. Getting all snotty about is a bit much.
SushiThief: >Has he never lived with a woman before
I doubt it. While we're both gay men, I believe he's only ever lived with other gay men.
KrankySilverFox: Ok I assumed woman. But my point still stands. Ask for you to clean it up before getting all pissy about it.
| 4 | 3.75 | |
1671742007 | 1671750394 | t3_zswe59 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by Posting Another TIFU Post About a Becoming an Author
[deleted]
AgentWD409: Okay, a couple of things here...
1. If you've actually written a book, then you're an author. You may not make any money from it, thus you're not a *professional*, but writing is still writing.
2. That being said, I don't think I'd say that 7,000 words is a *book*. Most chapter books meant for kids are between 30,000 and 80,000 words, depending on the age range. But 7,000 words is more like a *short story*. Honestly, I had to write essays in college and grad school that were *much* longer than 7,000 words.
3. I spent *seven years* writing my first novel. It's around 140,000 words long. I self-published it, and no, I haven't made much money. I mainly just did it because I love writing and it's something I always wanted to do. Regardless, I'm extremely proud of what I was able to accomplish. I've also written another shorter novel (in a year and a half) that comes in at about 75,000 words, I'm working on a third, and I edited/revised another book that was recently published by our pastor at church.
4. FYI, I do have a normal day job, which *also* involves writing (albeit *business writing*), and that's what pays the bills. The rest of it is just for fun, although if I *do* make some real money off of it one of these days, then that will just be icing on the cake.
5. If you're serious about writing, I would *absolutely* recommend putting in more effort. And to be perfectly honest, 7,000 words in 7 hours isn't much effort. I do think you should plan things out, edit, revise, go through a few different drafts, etc. And also, if you really want to write a "chapter book," try to write something that's the appropriate length. It might take you months (or even years), but in the end, it'll be worth it.
[deleted]: I want to clarify one thing: I made it that short so it can introduce kids to chapter books. The point of the series is to slowly introduce them to longer books. The books are supposed to get longer as time goes on.
As for your suggestion about writing? I appreciate it, but I'm not going to take all of it. Half of it I'm already doing, and well, I don't plan things out. I give my characters freedom, and it makes it feel like less of a task.
It's very obvious that the title "chapter book" is glorified. But it's supposed to make young kids comfortable with getting into them. When I was around eight or nine, I would've preferred to have had something like that. Something that would've eased me into chapter books. Make it less scary. That's the point of it. It's supposed to make children more confident with reading chapter books.
Word count depends on age group. Also, you're wrong on the word count for children's chapter books. I did research beforehand. They actually average around 10k words. Chapter books are books with chapters, they do not have a word count requirement.
I'm talking legit children. Eight year olds. Nine year olds. Not teenagers. No child is reading 30,000 words immediately after reading picture books.
(Btw this isn't an attack. I'm representing facts, and the point of the book so that you can understand what I'm against in what you're saying. I'm trying to not cause conflict while clarifying things.)
AgentWD409: Look... you're 15 and you're not even out of high school yet. I'm 40, I have a BA in English Literature, and a masters degree in Medieval & Renaissance Literature. I've written and self-published two actual novels, and I've edited another. Maybe start listening to older, more experienced people who *actually know what they're talking about* instead of acting like you already know what you're doing. You also specifically said 9+ was the age range, and yes, kids that age absolutely *do* read full chapter books (I've got two kids myself, so I know *that* part too). You're not coming off as entitled for calling yourself an "author." You're coming off as entitled for being 15 and acting like you know the first thing about anything, and then not taking good advice from others. Good luck.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1671750061 | 1671753420 | t3_zszkuj | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by assigning a task to a staff member
[deleted]
spud4: Fuck that nothing, no task should be beneath a employee. Time could be better served somewhere else but get off your high horse.
mildlycynica1: Technically, the task is within their responsibility if the specifics of the project demand it. So when I was presenting the project, I felt comfortable telling them the task was their responsibility, even though I was technically wrong in hindsight (meaning my miscommunication).
We are severely shortstaffed, so I do want to be generous to the staff who remain. That's why I feel like I fucked up.
spud4: >Technically, the task is within their responsibility
>
>We are severely shortstaffed, so I do want to be generous to the staff who remain. That's why I feel like I fucked up.
Fuck that
I'd say sorry as you know we are shortstaffed.
We blew the money on the outside contractor.
So the cleaning crew won't be in today. You use the restroom your day to clean it.
One day the CEO came in and started emptying the trash just trying to help out.
(He did come back in and throw a bunch of change on the floor. Something about throwing his money out! but I bet you pick that up.)but still
Teamwork is everyone pitching in.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1674201470 | 1674259494 | t3_10gr517 | t5_2to41 | 14,916 | sqooooq: TIFU by not being a horny person
I (21F) have the most non existent sex drive. I’ve been dating my bf (23M) for almost a year. My bf has come to me multiple times about this issue. He wants me to initiate because he wants to feel wanted. (obviously who doesn’t) I just never desire or think about sex unless he is the one that initiates. We will go sexless for weeks if he is to leave it up to me. But sex is big to him and I really think he’s reached his last straw with me. It is affecting our relationship heavily. I’m a low income person so I’ve refrained from seeking a doctor but if I did I don’t even know what kind of doctor I would seek for? I never seen a doctor in America besides a psychiatrist so I’m not sure how this works and I also don’t have healthcare. I really want to change for him but this is so so hard for me. I don’t wanna just force myself to do that just to satisfy him. I really want to feel that kind of fire within me.
TL;DR I’m not a horny enough person and my boyfriend might leave me for it
EDIT: Some more info, I’ve attempted to leave him a few times because I’ve told him we are just not compatible but he always talks me into staying and working it out. He is very patient with me. He is completely convinced I am his life partner. As to what meds I consume, yes I am on the pill, trileptal for BPD, and smoke bud every day. I will talk to him about getting off the pill today because trileptal interferes with its effects anyway and perhaps my libido will see some light. And lastly I’ve already ordered the “Come as you are” book that’s been recommended so thank you.
EDIT EDIT: Before my boyfriend, I’ve only ever had hookups that I never had to initiate. Thru those experienced some sexual trauma that’s been a process thru therapy and meds. No I don’t masturbate. I don’t feel no desire to. It doesn’t make me feel good. If I look at porn I feel nothing more than disgust. I was celibate from late 16 yr to early 19 yr. (lost it at 16) Below that age I was chronically online so I’ve seen it all. Literally from age 8-15 I would casually watch porn.
(BPD as in Borderline personality disorder)
chefk0k: Are you on the pill? I know someone who discovered after 30+ years that 'the pill' was suppressing her hormones, it lead to no sex drive.
inRodwetrust8008: If you take anit-depressants too. Certain brands of anti-depressants tank sex drive hard. My wife struggled with it when she went on one. It took a long time of trial and error before her and her psychologist found one that worked.
HellBringer97: I have the same issue with my ADHD meds. Sex drive tanks but when I’m actually horny I don’t have the mental energy to do anything about it.
Not that that’s a big issue, just a minor annoyance in exchange for the ability to focus like a neurotypical person for a few hours.
QuantumKraken: I need whatever they're having!
HellBringer97: Wdym? The ability to function as a Neurotypical? 😂
QuantumKraken: The ability to function as a neurotypical and a lowered sex drive, haha.
I personally think I'd be a lot happier.
HellBringer97: It’s got it’s ups and downs. My Adderall tends to tap out at about 2-3pm and I’m mentally done until I can recharge at home. Unfortunately, I don’t leave work until about 4-5pm so I end up taking 2-3hrs at home to recharge and then I’m awake until 12-12:30AM doing dumb shit like watching movies or gaming lol.
joelham01: My dr put me on concerta for this reason. I was on a fast release one but I'd get so drained. I've been on the max dose of concerta for over a year now and it's incredible
Nuclearb0m: Can confirm. Was on 27mg Concerta, now trying 18 and 36. Honestly hard for me to tell when they wear off.
joelham01: Yep 36mg is absolutely perfect for me. I can go all day and into the later evening doing homework and I'm good to go still
Nuclearb0m: The max dose where you live is 36? I assumed you meant 72 from max dose. (I mean where I am the max is 18 so I end up getting 2 boxes of 18 to try 36)
joelham01: I don't actually know if it's max dose it's just the max my Dr wants to give me so I assumed lol each pill is 36 tho
| 13 | 1,147.384615 | |
1674319588 | 1674393885 | t3_10hvhom | t5_2to41 | 14,186 | GotCatcalled: TIFU when I reacted positively to being catcalled
Random throwaway.
This morning my gf (25) and I (28m) passed a group of young guys (late teens, more or less) as we were walking down the street. One of the guys waited until we had our backs toward the group before shouting "nice ass!" At that moment, my gf turned around and yelled "grow the fuck up!" The loudmouth guy laughed like an evil anime character and said "I was talking to your boyfriend." The whole group was like "OoOoOoOoOoh." My gf looked at me and asked why I was smiling. I didn't even realize I was smiling until she pointed it out. I said no one has ever complimented my ass before. My gf said being catcalled is not a compliment and asked if I was gonna walk away without saying anything. I said if I was gonna open my mouth, it would be to say thank you for appreciating my ass. My gf and I did not see eye to eye about the situation at all and now there is unnecessary tension between us.
Tl:dr I got catcalled by a group of random guys in front of my gf. I took it as a compliment, which upset my gf, and now I'm in the doghouse apparently.
**Edit:**
*The limited information in my post seemed to be more than enough evidence to convince some of you that there was zero possibility that the catcalling was directed at me. Before you file it under concrete facts, please consider the following details: A) one of the guys (not the loudmouth) did have a rainbow/pride face mask, albeit around his wrist, but still, one of them, if not most of them, might not be totally straight, B) I noticed loudmouth guy eyeballing me when my gf and I walked past (and I actually mentioned that to my gf afterwards, but it didn't mean much to her), C) my ass is fucking awesome and it's totally plausible that it attracted the eyes of sex positive young people. That being said, it's also possible that those guys did in fact catcall my gf and used my ass to push her buttons.*
lumimon47: Maybe because it was most likely about her ass using you as an excuse to embarrass her.
Honestly if it was about your ass, Nice. But your gf doesn’t see a compliment she sees men that would attack her if she wasn’t with you 💀
Not that she should be mad at you but you probably shouldn’t have sided with the guys being rude to your gf
try_another8: Men are more likely to he assaulted than women. If he responded the way she did, he'd likely be in the hospital
lumimon47: Never said he should reply like she did. She shouldn’t have replied like that either. Always assume someone is armed and looking to harm you.
However, OP is home and fighting with GF. A smart man would explain (what I just said)
Yet if I’m correct in thinking that OP truly believes that I was a compliment toward him he’s either naive, dumb, an asshole, or confused. Less about the physical reaction and reply he gave and more about the one he genuinely wanted to give (I.e say thank you for the compliment)
Hugo28Boss: Why is it impossible that the compliment was for him?
lumimon47: When did I say it was impossible?
Hugo28Boss:
"Yet if I’m correct in thinking that OP truly believes that I was a compliment toward him he’s either naive, dumb, an asshole, or confused."
Would you describe someone who correctly identified a compliment as "naive, dumb, an asshole, or confused"?
mik999ak: Yeah, but realistically, odds are that the dude just said he was catcalling the boyfriend to make the girlfriend look stupid for getting rightfully offended.
Hugo28Boss: Odds are a way for us to estimate something which we do not have the full information. If I asked you to guess my name, with no context, you might guess Muhammad, as it is the most popular name worldwide. But with the context that I am western European of no Arabic descent and given my username, Muhammad would be a pretty bad guess.
With no context you might assume that, but the person who had the most context of the situation was OP. You are just ignoring that and making a guess eith little to no information, disregarding the opinion of the person with all the context
mik999ak: >The whole group was like "OoOOooOoOOoO"
Bro.
Hugo28Boss: What does that tell you?
mik999ak: That the kid's friends are reacting to him as if he just pulled off a funny comeback, strongly implying that they're fucking with the couple, rather than being genuinely complimentary.
Hugo28Boss: I dont see how it couldnt be a compliment followed by a snarky comeback to the girls reaction
mik999ak: Pretty much anybody with any social sense is going to realize that it immediately sounds like they're catcalling the woman. If they wanted to genuinely compliment him, they would either do it in a way that wouldn't inevitably piss off his girlfriend, or they would apologize when they realize it's being taken the wrong way. The point was very clearly to piss them off.
Hugo28Boss: >inevitably piss off his girlfriend
This isnt a given tho, I disagree that it was inevitable and that it even gave her a reason to be pissed of after realizing they werent talking to her.
Plus, how many lgbt men to you see catcalling random women on the street?
mik999ak: >Plus, how many lgbt men to you see catcalling random women on the street?
My whole point is that I don't think they're actually gay. They're just pretending for the sake of the joke to try and embarrass the girlfriend.
Hugo28Boss: So they planned to buy and bring with them an lgbt facemask in case they found a couple in order to fuck with the girl. Or maybe they knew her and were planning this roast for weeks? Whats your theory? I like the second more
mik999ak: Bro, do you not understand the concept of being disingenuous?
Hugo28Boss: I do.
Are you just going to ignore the facemask or are you still trying to find a response?
mik999ak: Oh, I didn't notice there was an edit. My bad.
Hugo28Boss: It happens, no worries
| 21 | 675.52381 | |
1674319251 | 1674333531 | t3_10hvd0y | t5_2to41 | 2,200 | Sammyisred: TIFU by lying in my job interview and am having to pay for it by doing a mud race
I suppose the FU was months ago, but it only really came to roost a few days ago
So I was fired last year, after 6 years in my job - ‘new manager/ face no longer fit’ kind of thing. It was a shock and job hunting was stressful. I did get a job though and I’ve been there 6 months. I really like it, the job is good and the environment and culture are way better than previously. I am still a bit paranoid about losing this job though, knowing how easily it could happen.
Something I said in the interview process has now come back to bite me. Everything I said about my job skills and experience was true but I may have over-egged the ‘what do you do for fun?’ question. They think I’m REALLY into sports and outdoorsy things, whatever the weather. I’m not. During the process, they talked about an annual team building challenge/ fundraiser and would I be up for it. Funny how when you’re desperate you really really are up for things like this….
Anyways, there’s this mud obstacle race a few months away, which they’re starting to plan for and they’ve put me down for it. It sounds horrendous, I’m not sure if I’m physically capable as well as being allergic to mud and cold water. I was caught on the hop when they asked me and didn’t want to say I’d made stuff up on my resume. Unfortunately I also confirmed I’m free on the day.
So to really fit in with my dream job I’ve got to spend a few months getting fit enough to do this really horrible thing and it’s my own fault. I’m sure I could have got the job anyway but now it will look terrible to pull out.
Think positive thought for me Reddit!
TL;DR my stupid unnecessary lies during my job interview have (literally) landed me in cold water(and mud) a few months from now.
umassmza: If it’s Tough Mudder you are screwed, if it’s just a 5k one then you’ve got this, plenty of time to get in shape.
Sammyisred: It is a 5k one. But I think I’m still screwed.
umassmza: Couch to 5k.
And the mud runs you wind up getting slowed by the crowd, you get to an obstacle and there’s a line of people who can’t do it but are determined to try. My first one I trained like crazy and it was so easy because of the crowds slowing it all up.
Sammyisred: But you still have to crawl through mud right? Oh God….
Agitated_Year8521: Grit your teeth and get on with it mate, people have done far worse for far less
Sammyisred: Best advice probably!
Agitated_Year8521: It's one of those things bud, the pressure might lead you to find you're capable of more than you thought possible.
Sammyisred: Ok I’ll hold that thought!
Agitated_Year8521: Lol.
Not knowing what shape you're in, I wouldn't advise hitting the 5k without at least a little training beforehand though, unless you want to punish yourself the next day.
It's surprising how far you can go if you keep to a steady pace once adrenaline kicks in but it's easy to overdo it when your body isn't prepared for the recovery.
Good luck OP, hope you smash it
| 10 | 220 | |
1674329370 | 1674417781 | t3_10hzcws | t5_2to41 | 2,956 | idiothsband: TIFU by accidentally gaslighting my wife for ten years
I (32M) have had an inside joke with my wife (30F) for ten years. As it turns out, I’m the only one on the inside. My wife has a small, but dark brown mark on the top of her left iris. It’s pretty hard to see unless her eyes are wide open, but when we were first dating, she mentioned that she had a speck on her eye. I was trying to be polite, so I told her I couldn't really see it. A few days later, the topic of the mark on her eye came up again and she asked if I really couldn't see it or if I was being nice, because to her, it was very noticeable. I playfully said I couldn't see anything.
Over the years it became a back and forth where she would insist that I can see it and me denying it– for me it turned into a funny joke. She would take a picture of her iris, zoom in on the brown speck and say “How do you not see that?!” and I would play dumb. Whenever I denied it, I always had a goofy smirk and used a sarcastic tone, hinting that yes, I really can see it. It was just another one of our many inside jokes and I thought of how long to let it ride. I even thought about when was the perfect time to give up the gag – maybe even slip it into our wedding vows… Thankfully I did not do that.
Fast-forward to today and we were talking about heterochromia in huskies which led to the topic of my wife’s eye and she was noticeably angry. She took a picture of her iris again and zoomed in and demanded to know if it was some kind of sick joke.
She said I was gaslighting her and then it just clicked–I was gaslighting her. She went on to say, it wasn't funny to her at all. It started out as annoying , but she would go around to her friends and family members and ask if they could see the mark. Everyone would say yes but she still questioned if they were just being nice or if I was telling the truth and she really doesn't have a mark on her eye. For years she was tortured with the idea that she might be going crazy over whether or not she actually had a small brown mark on her iris and I realized how big of a fu I made.
I immediately fessed up, didn't even try to explain myself, and I apologized as sincerely. To me it was a joke that we were both going to laugh about when I finally caved and admitted it, but to her I was just lying to her for TEN years. I am an idiot. I told her there were no more running gags in the works and that I owe her at least a full day of pampering.
TL;DR I pretended my wife didn't have a discoloration in her eye for ten years thinking I was being cheeky, but was actually driving her insane.
**Edit:** I feel like I should clarify a few things.
1. I think the use of "insane" in my tl;dr was too strong and gave the wrong impression of how my wife felt. She said she felt frustrated and annoyed, which I totally get.
2. This "gag" was pretty infrequent. It would come up maybe once a year at most, but what annoyed my wife, understandably, was that I kept it going for ten years.
3. A lot of people have asked "how is that a joke?" or "how is that funny?". It was kind of our sense of humor when we first started dating. We use to tease each other by playing dumb about something until the joke ran just a little too long. Dumb stuff like, "Did you eat the rest of the pizza in the fridge?" "Nope, in fact I don't think there was any left". As we got older, we realized how annoying it was and stopped but the eye thing was so infrequent that it felt funny (to me) to keep it running after so long. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure if I really could see it and I thought she knew I could so here we are.
**Edit 2:**
One additional point of clarity because a lot of people are assuming my wife is seriously bothered by the blemish on her eye—shes not. I initially said I couldn't really see it to be polite because I didn't know her well enough to know if it did bother her. She probably wouldn't have thought about it half as much if I didn't make a big deal about not seeing it.
Rameeennn: As an eye specialist, I always ask my patient directly if they noticed the iris naevus (the mole on the colour part of the eye) and if so, any size growth or colour changes. This is to make sure it is not progressing into melanoma. I’ve never consider anyone can be sensitive about it before, good to know.
morbideve: Okay, can you explain the following to me, then?
When I was a kid I had pretty dark blue eyes, until the age of ~10 years.
Over time (during puberty and a bit before) they developed to be more greyish-blue with subtle green streaks and some light brown spots.
My mother has amber eyes, my father light blue eyes.
MajestaHazel: Eyes don’t change color day to day or moment to moment like so many people claim, but they can become lighter with age.
jessicarubies: Really? Tell that to my ex husband whose eyes would go from blue to a dark Grey anytime he got angry. And yes. It was very noticeable. And no it was not lighting. His eyes have done that all his life. Anyone who knows him has seen it. So have doctors. Even an eye doctor saw it. Said it was very rare.
MajestaHazel: 100% BS. Humans cannot change color of any cell in their body like an octopus or a chameleon. Science.
ductyl: I can conceive of someone's iris having different colors radiating out in their iris, where it would look different based on how dilated their iris was... And mood (or blood pressure, or light levels) could impact how dilated the pupil is in a given scenario.
dratnew43: This is probably what /u/jessicarubies is describing. It is indeed rare for it to be a noticeable change in color, people with central heterochromia(like myself) for example, can have it be more recognizable.
I think most people's eyes change color with the dilation of their iris, but most of the time it isn't very significant of a change.
jessicarubies: Basically. This person just wants to feel like they are the smartest in the room. 😂 they wanna die on that hill. Fine. I know what the doctor told my ex husband and I. He has an issue with his eyes and the way they dilate. Our son has the same condition and his eyes change too. Eye doctor. Once again said that it was rare but he was able to see it as well. Their eyes go from bright blue to dark grey when they get angry. Or even the doctor dilated their pupils for the testing. My son has 20/10 vision. I bet they tell me there’s no such thing as that too. Lol.
MajestaHazel: Pupil dilation is very rare you say? Do tell what is the name of this extremely rare condition that spontaneously changes the actual cell biology of the iris???
jessicarubies: No. The condition my ex husband and my son have is rare, as in the medical condition that makes their pupils dilate differently. Less than 1% of the population have it. I never brought up cell biology. That was you. I just said the word color. You enjoy the hill you’re gonna die on.
MajestaHazel: So what’s it called then hmm? A mother must certainly know the name of a condition her kid has, right?
jessicarubies: Adies syndrome, did you just want the name or did I need to get a doctors note to prove it to ya? Didn’t know I had to get into medical terminologies with people from Reddit. 😂 His dad has it so when my son started having daily migraines we were able to have them check for it. Would you like to know about the migraines my now 10yo has been dealing with since he was 4yo because of it?
MajestaHazel: And nah, I couldn’t care less about your crotch goblin actually.
jessicarubies: Yeah. I see you’re to interested in molesting meats and veggies cuz it’s the closest you’ll ever get to the real thing. Have the day ya deserve.
MajestaHazel: I had sex today, how about you? 😝
jessicarubies: Ham steaks and carrots don’t count lovey. Cute that ya deleted all your responses to me. Thought you wanted to die on that hill?
| 17 | 173.882353 | |
1674305220 | 1674337046 | t3_10hqh2n | t5_2to41 | 830 | Ashamed-Eye-6580: TIFU by upsetting my girlfriend
Things have been going really really well between us. We’re buying a house together, talking about long terms plans like marriage, getting a dog and having kids. We’re committed to each other. Then comes the FU…
A few weeks ago we got into an argument over something really small - it’s not even worth recapping. But the argument escalated, we were both shouting at each other, and I said some things I shouldn’t have.
I need to clarify, she is the best thing to ever happen to me. She’s one of the smartest, prettiest, kindest people I’ve ever met. Even if things don’t work out between us, I don’t ever want to lose her from my life. But in the heat of the moment, I said I didn’t know if I wanted to be with her anymore.
She just froze, stood there for a few seconds then left the room and went to bed. Since then she’s barely spoken to me, avoided being in the same room as me most of the time. She’s still made sure there’s food for me for when I finish work, or told me when there wouldn’t be, but she hasn’t been waiting to eat with me like she used to. She hasn’t been hanging out with me, just doing her own thing all the time.
I thought I made it clear I only said it in the heat of the moment and didn’t actually feel that way the next day - I started talking about our plans for the house. She talked about it with me a bit but wasn’t massively into it. I just want her to be how she was before I said that. How can I fix this?
TLDR mid-argument I told my girlfriend I don’t know if I want to be with her anymore. She hasn’t been the same since. How can I fix this?
MissAnthropoid: "she still makes sure there's food for me when I finish work"
You're gonna lose her anyway bro. You gotta do your fair share of household chores nowadays if you want a long term live-in relationship with a woman.
If you want her to see you as a desirable long term prospect again, do all the cooking and cleaning yourself for a while. That's the way to a woman's heart.
Ashamed-Eye-6580: She nearly always finishes work first but I try to cook for her whenever I’m home first. I’ve tried to do a few little things that’d make her happy but they don’t seem to be making a difference. She’s not even asking for my help anymore like she used to
EarlEdda: Asking for your help….you consider housework to be her job, and then you help if she tells you what needs doing… poor woman, she has enough to deal with - don’t impose your man-child ways on people. This seems like it’s even bigger than the psychological abuse you admitted to in the original post.
Ashamed-Eye-6580: No no I don’t mean help around the house like cleaning or taking the bins out. I’ve always contributed to those, and I cleaned everywhere when she was at work the other day. But I mean she always used to ask for my help or opinion on other little things, like grabbing something for her or helping her decide what to wear. But she’s just doing and deciding everything herself now and I miss her asking for those silly little things
ElementalWorkshopII: Why would she ask for the opinion of someone who has threatened to leave her because he didn't get his way?
I wouldn't either. You fucked up big time.
She's showing you she doesn't need you. And good for her.
Ashamed-Eye-6580: Yeah I deserve that
cliffordc5: My man, this isn’t something you can apologize for and move on. There’s something you haven’t been telling her about how you’re really feeling about your relationship. What you said in the heat of the moment sounded pretty truthful in how you put it. If you don’t or can’t tell her what’s really the issue then there really isn’t a good way to recover in a way she can trust you. Just be honest and vulnerable.
Edit: saw your later comment that you’re “really not good with words and being emotional”. Yeah, that’s the risk you’re going to have to take. Honesty, using your words, saying how you feel. Without that, what do you have? Just a roommate?
ElementalWorkshopII: Just a roommate is right on the money. And the resentment kills the relationship over time. Hope OP understands the issue isn't with his GFs reaction, but his actions. Guy clearly needs some therapy.
| 9 | 92.222222 | |
1674314482 | 1674401703 | t3_10htkah | t5_2to41 | 2,235 | AnnonymousBrokenNose: TIFU by discussing finances with my daughter
First, I want to apologize in advance because I am not technologically literate and had never even heard of Reddit until a friend showed it to me this morning. He helped me set up an account and well here I am.
Now that I have that out of the way I'll get down to the brass tax.
I am a 56-year-old man (57 in three weeks). About two years ago My doctor told me that he had some concerns about some test results. After several tests he was able to determine I did indeed have a brain tumor. It is inoperable and as of last week my oncologist told me I have about a year left if I am lucky. I've made my peace with that. The reason I am here is because I have child and she is 27. I have all of my final arrangements made the only thing left to do was sit down, tell her everything, explain my will and do my best to help her come to terms with things.
She took the news how I expected she would and after some tears, some hot chocolate and homade cookies, she was feeling a bit better. Then I began explaining the will to her, I gave her a copy to read over and as she read it her face went from sadness to anger. She slammed the will down and was furious when she found out my net worth. It's a lot I'll admit it but I never expected her reaction to it. She flew off the handle screaming at me because I never told her before, how could I make her go without as a kid, and yadda yadda yadda. Then she punched me in the face before storming out of my house and driving off as fast as she could.
Its true I didn't give her everything she always wanted as a child, we lived a nice middle class lifestyle. I worked, and did my best to instill a good work ethic in her. I didn't want to spoil her and turn her into an entitled little brat. I did make sure that she graduated college debt free, and always helped when she had emergencies.
Now I wonder if what I did was wrong. Now I don't know if I should have told her or not.
TL;DR
I discussed my net worth with my daughter and she broke my nose.
gis_mappr: Could always donate to charity instead. She should count herself fortunate to have a parent with assets, wish I did
Sounds like a substantial amount... it could sound like more than it is to someone who is scraping by. Couple million isn't really that much. Her response is very immature, maybe she has some trauma you weren't fully aware of.
AnnonymousBrokenNose: There could be trauma i'm unaware of, but her husband and her aren't scraping by. They are solidly middle class, not lower middle class and not quite upper middle class.
as for the total new worth, with my house and other assets it is in the 8 figure range. not tons of money in the grand scheme of things , but way way more than she probably ever suspected.
deva5610: >it is in the 8 figure range. not tons of money in the grand scheme of things
It's not not that either, unless you mean 8 figures counting 2 after the decimal point.
riverrat88: But if it’s 10 or 11mil it’s safe to assume it is meant to last the rest of his life through retirement. Including his home that is just solidly middle or upper middle class. Now if it’s 50mil that’s a big difference.
tigolex: >Including his home that is just solidly middle or upper middle class
I'm in my 40s and can't imagine thinking 10 million in retirement savings would only put me in "middle class". It's wild how different people view what it means to be middle class.
10.8 million in total assets would put you in the top 1% in the US. That's not middle class. [https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/605075/are-you-rich#:\~:text=People%20with%20the%20top%201,The%20top%205%25%20had%20%241%2C030%2C000](https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/605075/are-you-rich#:~:text=People%20with%20the%20top%201,The%20top%205%25%20had%20%241%2C030%2C000).
EDIT: Having even a million in networth puts you in the top 5%. Also not middle class.
riverrat88: I can’t believe how little people save then. According to the census I am just barely into the lower range for middle class based on income. But I have multiples of the net worth for my age group based on your link. https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2023/01/02/middle-class-income-in-major-us-cities.html
TruthfulMayonaise: For me, to save 10 million, with my current salary *before taxes*, I'd have to work 244 years! But then again, I don't live in America, and I'm not a boomer.
riverrat88: You’re forgetting compounding interest. Using the average rate of return for the S&P500, you would need to put in $3000 a month for 40 years to have $10mil in that account excluding and increase in net worth from the appreciation of land over that same period of time. The top of middle class in the US earns $12,500 per month according to the above linked census data. They would be saving less than 25% of their pre-tax income including their company match.
I’m not a boomer and I’m at the bottom of middle class, I am in America though.
TruthfulMayonaise: All you just said there, is inachievable by me. But by American standards and ideologies, that simply means I haven't worked hard enough.
Saving 3000 a month is insane. It's nice if you can do that, but damn, that's a lot of money to be saving each month.
But when you're saving for a nice retirement and some for your children when you die, it sounds necessary. Luckily where I live, part of my monthly earnings automatically goes towards my retirement, and my employer contributes too.
riverrat88: In case I wasn’t clear, I don’t save $3000 a month. I was exposing that it is upper middle class. Using your version of math at my salary would take 166 years, I don’t make that much more than you. I choose to budget and put 25% in retirement because being able to quit working is more important to me than new things now.
TruthfulMayonaise: Don't you automatically save for a retirement when you're employed in America? Also, when you reach retirement age (67 years old at the moment, where I live) don't you automatically get a basic state pension?
Do you have to put money away youeself, for your retirement because, if you don't do that yourself, you won't have any money when you retire? I don't know how the American system works, and it shows, lol.
riverrat88: There is social security which you do automatically have to pay 6.2% and can receive at 67. If you include social security which I consider a tax I actually put 31% of my gross income into retirement. By the time I retire in 35+ years benefits will most likely be reduced and the minimum age increased if it’s even still there.
TruthfulMayonaise: Ah, good to know :)
| 14 | 159.642857 | |
1674275357 | 1674343548 | t3_10himgz | t5_2to41 | 236 | Sub_Omen: TIFU by accidently eating a large quantity of cheese made with natural cow milk as a person who is lactose intolerant..
Okay so for some background, I'm a 29 year old college student from the US who has been living in a very small rural town in Central Mexico with my wife (she is native to here) for the better part of the last two years. I've gotten super accustomed and comfortable to the life and culture here, have a very familiar and friendly relationship with the locals and family members, became very proficient in Spanish and all is well and happy. Plus, I get to supplement my studies in cultural anthropology with direct immersion and the culture has become the highlight of all my papers when I have the opportunity to do so.
Well, today I was out running errands in the small delegation of our area. My wife was at home preparing food and we needed lots of eggs and I figured I'd also get us some delicious bacon and queso Oaxaca (one of our faves) so I could make us a cool breakfast sandwich for lunch. So I went to our newly discovered local cremería (a place for cheese, meat, milk..) that we've been frequenting since our usual spot for cheese is on the complete other side and I was already near, plus the new place is super friendly. I asked for queso Oaxaca and the sweet lady was like "We have a few, would you like to try and see which one you'd like?".
And I was like, "Heck yeah, cheese me up!" (I didn't actually say that).
I tried a few and fell in love with one, and the lady was like, "Yeah that ones the best, it's the creamiest and it's made right here in the town, too!" Although I wasn't thinking at all about how our area is super farmy and lots of people have livestock and make their living that way.
I'm thinking how cool that is and plus the price was great, the cheese was excellent, it's a perfect deal.
So I come home and tell my wife and she's like "oh, hun, this cheese has a LOT of milk in it and might hurt your stomach and that's why we always buy the pilarica one.".
I'm just like, "Nah, it'll be cool and it's super delicious so it's okay!"
So I made our sandwiches with a lot of it and a several hours later, I found myself in an hour long bathroom sesh for the worst stomach ache I've had from anything milk related since I was a little kid.
I sat there feeling like death, wondering what the hell I could have ate that did this before I remembered the cheese and what my wife said..
I come out after some time and say "Hun, was that milk like directly from a cow?" And she's just like "You didn't know that?".
So now we have 1/4 of a kg of delicious cheese in the fridge that I'd love to eat and already want more of but I can't and I'm still in the bathroom writing this, waiting for the whole thing to be over (Don't worry, I feel better than I was before).
TL;DR I ate cheese made from natural milk that was delicious and very worth it, then took a trip to lactose city pero duele muchísimo mi estómago :(
Mediocre-Ad-1283: This kinda applies to Europeans who are are lactose intolerant.
Dairy products that are made with Jersey cow milk often do not set off the intolerance because the milk from them lacks the enzyme that is responsible for the intollerance.
And now for a little joke...
Redditors should only consume dairy products from Jersey cows because it helps them be more tolerant.
great_site_not: > the milk from them lacks the enzyme that is responsible for the intollerance
What? Lactose intolerance isn't caused by an enzyme in milk. It's caused by the lack of an enzyme (lactase) in the human drinking it.
Mediocre-Ad-1283: So lactose intolerance is caused by there not being the enzyme Lactase?
great_site_not: Yep. Lactase breaks down lactose (a disaccharide) into the two smaller sugars (monosaccharides) it's made of, glucose and galactose. Those monosaccharides can be absorbed from the small intestine into the bloodstream.
Lactose itself cannot be absorbed, so if it's not broken down by lactase, it will all reach the large intestine, where it will pull in water (causing diarrhea) and be fermented by bacteria (producing a lot of gases, causing flatulence).
If Jersey cow milk doesn't cause problems in people with lactose intolerance, then I guess it must be low in lactose
Mediocre-Ad-1283: Well me having a diagnosed lactose intolerance which has caused me to seek out the above must be weird right? Because I eat just one bit of cheddar from non Jersey and I'm sandblasting the bogbowl with my arse injected lumpy water, yet drinking pints of Jersey milk result in nothing but feeling sleepy.
great_site_not: Well, if it doesn't set off your intolerance, of course it's not weird for you to seek it out.
I just googled "Jersey cow milk lactose intolerance" to confirm that it's low in lactose, but I am seeing some sites say it's just as high in lactose but contains a different form of a protein called casein (A2 casein instead of the A1 casein found in many other kinds of milk), which they say some people have an intolerance to that can be misdiagnosed as lactose intolerance. Interesting, I'm not sure what to make of that.
Thanks for the info, and I hope you don't have to sandblast the bogbowl anytime soon.
Mediocre-Ad-1283: Go drink a pint of Jersey cow milk, one of us is wrong and you owe it to other redditors to prove its either my unique gut chemistry or your understanding of science.... 😂
great_site_not: I don't see how it would prove or disprove anything for me to drink a pint of Jersey cow milk, since I already don't react to regular cow milk? But if it'd make you feel better, I could eat too much sugar-free candy? I know *that* gives me the runs 😂
Mediocre-Ad-1283: Do it... Like Nike, because the science is safe.
| 10 | 23.6 | |
1672531201 | 1672582927 | t3_10073ug | t5_2to41 | 247 | No_Manager_2290: TIFU by having female friends
[removed]
PrimaryBasket7574: It sounds like she is projecting. If you really cared about the relationship, I would say sit down and have a candid and honest conversation about boundaries and why she feels that way... but since I read your other comments saying you would dump her in a text and block her, I'd say you're both better off without each other. You don't text dump someone you actually love. I'd say the fuck up is both of you being too immature for a real relationship.
LorenzoStomp: Nah, there's reasons to dump through text and repeated lying and disrespect is one of them. There's no point in having a respectful in-person conversation with someone who doesn't respect you/will try to gaslight or be verbally abusive. That's just putting yourself in harm's way to try to do right by someone who won't extend you the same courtesy. In-person breakups are for when it's just not working out, not shitheads.
PrimaryBasket7574: Imo if it is a serious relationship and there isn't a threat of danger, dumping through text is disrespectful and unnecessary.
LorenzoStomp: If you are disrespectful to your partner to the point they feel they have to leave you, you don't deserve respect back. Their only priority at that point should be getting away from you as quickly as possible, because you clearly don't love them and their love for you was clearly misplaced. You don't get to treat someone like shit and then cry because they didn't object to being treated like shit nicely enough. That's narcissist thinking.
PrimaryBasket7574: It's still disrespectful and dismissive. If that is the goal, then kudos because it accomplishes that.
Unless it's an actual safety/danger issue... imo that is the only way it is actually a warranted end to a mature relationship.
LorenzoStomp: "Sure, I cheated on my partner and lied to their face repeatedly about where I was and how I really felt about them while also accusing them of cheating to try to cover my tracks, but it was *totally disrespectful* of them to break up with me by text. How *immature*, I bet they didn't even really take the relationship seriously. They owed me the respect of letting me lie to their face some more."
PrimaryBasket7574: Literally didn't say any of that. Literally didn't say they deserved respect. I said doing it to end a mature relationship is disrespectful. Period. End.
You sound like you had a bad one.
Someone else being disrespectful doesn't mean you have to bring yourself to their level. I would never end things that way with someone I cared about, let alone loved, regardless of any disrespect they showed to me. (Again, as long as I felt safe to see them in person.) I wouldn't allow someone else's actions to change who I am in that way.
LorenzoStomp: Really? Breaking up with an abusive person through text is on the same level as cheating? Absolutely not. Maintaining distance from someone who has repeatedly shown a tendency to harm you is not disrespect, it's self-preservation. Breaking commitments, lying, and gaslighting are all emotional abuse. More than anyone else, you owe yourself respect, and putting yourself in a position to allow someone else to abuse you is disrespectful to yourself. Allowing yourself to be harmed to do things "the right way" isn't maturity. Mature people know how to judge a situation on it's merits, not just blindly defer to the rules. Protocol and manners have their place but aren't always appropriate. You aren't teaching the other person how to act, you aren't showing that you love them or that you're a good person (and they don't care about that, not past what that means they can get from you), you're just giving them one last opportunity to create drama and harm you in the process.
PrimaryBasket7574: It is actually impressive how much you can misread extremely straightforward statements. I never compared the "levels" of disrespect and stated every single time that if it was unsafe to see them in person that was the exception.
I wish you better luck in the new year in not projecting your own assumptions into others' words.
| 10 | 24.7 | |
1674231899 | 1674576166 | t3_10h15zb | t5_2to41 | 8,525 | shefuckinghatesme: TIFU by vaping during a video interview.
I had been preparing for this interview for weeks and was feeling confident going into it. I had my notes ready, my resume printed out, and my camera turned on. But as soon as the interview started, my nerves got the best of me. The interviewer and other members of the team were discussing matters that were not relevant to my position, and I found myself getting restless. To distract myself, I started reading through my notes.
In the midst of all this, I completely forgot that my camera was still on, and out of stress, I reached for my vape and took a puff. It was only when the interviewer asked me a question and I couldn't find my vape that I realized my mistake. I had been vaping on camera the entire time.
I tried to play it off, saying that it was just a habit, but the damage had been done. I could see the disappointment and disapproval on the interviewer's face. Needless to say, I did not get the job.
​
tldr : vaped my way out of a job interview.
Edit : a lot of comments are saying it's not a big deal to vape on 2023 when you're at home. I disagree. An interview is a chance to give a great first impression. And I was blowing smoke on a screen while they just watched me. It was embarrassing, cringy and I deserve not to get that.
Worst part is I don't even vape that often. And I'm not addicted. After I lost my last vape, I didn't vape for a few months and I only bought another one because I just happened to come across one. Anyways, I threw it away.
Jefc141: Yea we just fired a guy for vaping in the office while management and property owners were touring the building… what is up with people who vape lol
OPengiun: Nicotine is extremely addicting.
Between quitting cigarettes and quitting vaping, vaping was much harder for me.
tess615: Because you get more nicotine through vaping so your addiction was worse. Nicotine is the devil!
BluShirtGuy: While that *can* be true, it's disingenuous to tout it as fact
tess615: You are right. Nicotine is not, in fact, the devil.
BluShirtGuy: I know you're being facetious, but it's the combustion of tobacco that makes it deadly, [not the nicotine itself. ](https://www.rsph.org.uk/about-us/news/nicotine--no-more-harmful-to-health-than-caffeine-.html)
Also, vaping is a bespoke activity. There is compete autonomy in how much nicotine you ingest, and how strong you decide to make the liquid.
tess615: I didn't say anything about the nicotine being deadly, I said it was addictive and the more you inhale, the more tolerance you build up, and the more nicotine you need to satisfy the nicotine receptors in your brain.
Similarly, smokers can choose to smoke more or less cigarettes and adjust how much nicotine they are getting but that is entirely a battle of self-control and does not mean they are not addicts. Someone who vapes or smokes less does not have less of an addiction to nicotine, they fight it harder/better than someone who vapes or smokes more. An addict is an addict.
BluShirtGuy: > An addict is an addict.
No, everyone's journey is different. Imo, this statement is actually harmful to those attempting to recover.
The additives in cigarettes are designed to enhance the addictive qualities of nicotine. E-cigs do not. Thus, a blanket statement encompassing all nicotine products is disingenuous. Especially when nicotine has similar addictive qualities to caffeine.
As someone that uses vapes as a cessation device, reducing cigarette intake is extremely difficult vs reducing nicotine levels in e-liquid. They are not the same.
tess615: You are harming yourself by vaping and you're doing it because you are addicted to nicotine. You (or whoever) are jeopardizing your health to consume a drug that you can't quit. All of this 'one is better' is smoke and mirrors. Neither is good for you, neither makes you healthier than a non-nicotine-addict. Reducing nicotine levels has a very low success rate when it comes to quitting.
I'm not even touching the caffeine-nicotine part. That is a major stretch.
BluShirtGuy: No one is saying that it's harmless. No one is saying that a vaper has the same health status as a non-smoker/vaper. No one in the industry has that misconception.
However, having an alternative that is at least 95% safer, and offers a more successful pathway to complete cessation of nicotine as a whole, is hardly "smoke and mirrors".
> Reducing nicotine levels has a very low success rate when it comes to quitting.
> the more you inhale, the more tolerance you build up, and the more nicotine you need to satisfy the nicotine receptors in your brain.
Pick one, or show me stats. If increased intake causes tolerance and increased desire, then the inverse is true.
> I'm not even touching the caffeine-nicotine part. That is a major stretch.
This just shows that you are parroting propaganda and have no clue about anything you said, and no desire to actually be informed. Your binary stance on addiction will actually kill people.
ETA:
> you're doing it because you are addicted to nicotine.
This is incorrect too, as the habit is ingrained in physical queues, many who quit have the most difficulty with the idleness, hence why so many chew pencils, gum, twirl pens, or anything to keep them preoccupied.
tess615: It doesn't work because you have millions of nicotine receptors in your brain that are activated every time you ingest nicotine. They don't reduce just because you reduce your nicotine. They go dormant, for lack of a better word, in a few days when you completely quit nicotine but they never leave. This is how people who have quit so easily get addicted again. Reducing nicotine doesn't shrink them or lessen them. That is like saying a heroin addict can cure themselves if they "just do a little". It doesn't work.
If anyone is parroting propaganda it would be you equating nicotine with caffeine. Do your own research and educate yourself. I'm not doing it for you.
I didn't say anything about the habits surrounding smoking or the hows or why's of cravings (craving a cigarette is different from having the urge for nicotine) . The addiction to nicotine itself is over with in a few days once you stop ingesting it. The psychological aspect is an entirely different topic and I didn't go there. But if you are vaping then you are addicted to nicotine. If it's so easy, you know, like caffeine, then why are you vaping? How long have you been reducing? Why don't you just ...stop.
BluShirtGuy: > Why don't you just ...stop.
First off, go fuck yourself. Seriously. You have zero empathy, so quit acting all high and mighty.
Second, I did my research and sourced it in my previous comment, which you obviously didn't read, which is why I accuse you of parroting BS, because you don't care what the studies show.
Thirdly, [You're talking out your ass](https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/nejmoa1808779)
tess615: It's okay to be wrong sometimes.
BluShirtGuy: Yes, but it's not okay to be wrong and a completely insensitive douche canoe.
tess615: You missed the... nevermind.
I genuinely have no idea what you are so pissy about. Me pointing out the flaw in your reasoning is not a lack of empathy. I'm sorry you took it that way.
Good luck quitting. It's not easy.
BluShirtGuy: I'm "pissy" because your attitude stinks, and you can't accept that people have addictions for a variety of reasons, not just a dependency.
If you must know, my nicotine level is 0.1ish mg/ml. The lowest commercial strength is 3mg/ml. My reasoning is flavour. I do not feel chemically dependent on nicotine, and can go days without a drag, if necessary. But I am dependent on the habits that formed when I did smoke cigarettes.
You have a very narrow viewpoint, zero experience, and an aversion to information, even when it's laid out for you.
Since you like anecdotes instead of studies, I'll leave you with a conspiracy theory: think about the 3 largest lobbying industries in the US, and if the claims of e-cigs as a cessation device are true, who would be the biggest losers? Probably 2 of the 3 you're thinking of. Just saying.
tess615: You're right. I did not wax poetic about addictions because I wasn't talking about "addictions". I was merely stating a fact. A nicotine addict is an addict. The end. I don't know why that is such an inflammatory statement for you.
Congrats on your low level of nicotine. Should be easy to switch to mints then, for the flavor of course. Then you won't be addicted to NICOTINE anymore.
I have a lifetime of nicotine addiction experience, actually. I'm not sure why that is relevant. I absolutely could link you to studies and articles but you could link me to studies and articles that say the opposite. Welcome to the internet. It is pointless because you are not open to it anyway.
The biggest industries are never going to lose, no matter what. They get it all in the end, regardless. THAT'S the conspiracy.
psychoCMYK: >I don't know why that is such an inflammatory statement for you.
Addiction. Concepts that threaten the reasoning used for an addiction are often perceived as a personal threat.
BluShirtGuy: Nice psychoanalysis, but incorrect. I'm a passionate advocate because I'm appreciative of the invention of e-cigs. It was the one thing that helped me and millions of others finally quit tobacco. We can now run with our kids, go up stairs, play with our pets, exercise, and many other things without getting completely winded after 5 mins.
But y'all don't care about that. Just that "it looks like smoking, so it must be the same!". Even though any studies that support anti-vaping rhetoric is more often than not retracted due to inability to get peer reviewed or bad faith testing procedures.
It's inflammatory to me, because this is an invention that could save millions of lives, but y'all would rather listen to the tobacco and pharma lobbyists, cuz it would hurt their bottom line
psychoCMYK: All you're doing is perpetuating a cycle of addiction
I smoked for two decades with a few 2 year breaks and vaped for years. Eventually quit vaping because of the damage it did to my lungs. In my experience it was harder to quit than tobacco because of how accessible it was.
If you're not actively using it as a nicotine cessation tool, you're just actively lying to yourself that you can continue to put crap in your lungs without being unhealthy
BluShirtGuy: Like I mentioned before, everyone's addiction story is their own personal journey. We all overcome it in our own way, at our own pace. One of my personal biggest hurdles was having to deal with judgey non/ex-smokers that talked with a chip on their shoulder. You don't talk to other adults like that. We know that it's not healthy, and we're working on it in our own way. Everyone I've converted has always mentioned that it's the single, most appreciated approach to be treated with respect and given the space to make the decision their own.
Interesting how you smoked combustible tobacco for decades, then blamed vaping for doing the damage to your lungs. Anecdotally, I've only heard the opposite, where the physicians see actual recovery from smoking.
I totally get the accessibility challenges, I have those too. But everyone quits in a way that they are comfortable with, and not respecting that is harmful, imo.
psychoCMYK: >Interesting how you smoked combustible tobacco for decades, then blamed vaping for doing the damage to your lungs.
Yes. The damage from smoking was gradual but I could and did quantify it constantly. The damage from vaping was sudden and caught me by surprise and that's what scared me into quitting. The only lung recovery I ever saw was several weeks after I quit putting nicotine into my lungs completely and started consciously training cardio every other day
My main grievance is with people who pretend vaping is just water, or that it's harmless, or that it isn't a dick move to do inside, or that ignore asthmatics telling them it affects them. Just because it's "less harmful than smoking" doesn't mean it's inert, and doesn't mean it can't cause lung damage or breathing problems.
I don't think it's an effective cessation tool because of my own experience and realizing how habit forming it is to have in your hand at all times and keep under your pillow at night, but people can try anything they want. In the grand scheme of things though, if it gets more people addicted to nicotine than there were before because it's more accessible than smoking, I'll consider it a net negative. A cessation tool shouldn't lead to increased uptake
BluShirtGuy: > My main grievance is with people who pretend vaping is just water, or that it's harmless, or that it isn't a dick move to do inside, or that ignore asthmatics telling them it affects them. Just because it's "less harmful than smoking" doesn't mean it's inert, and doesn't mean it can't cause lung damage or breathing problems.
Fully agree, and most of the hobbyist community sides with this notion. Unfortunately the bad actors get all the attention.
I'm personally at odds with how vaping should be accessible, because I agree with the attempts to limit access to kids and non-smokers, but I personally advocate for the cessation success it has had with many other users. And I recognize that easier accessibility plays a factor in one's ability to try different methods. I don't have an answer to that, but it's been over vilified, imo.
| 24 | 355.208333 | |
1674346592 | 1674425579 | t3_10i5z05 | t5_2to41 | 4,696 | TheSlothsAreWatching: TIFU by giving my girlfriend an atomic wedgie
This happened about 20 minutes ago, and I'm currently trying not to get killed by my partner or burst out crying or laughing.
My partner [F18] and I [M21] have a bit of a competition with wedgies, It started as a playful thing when the other was distracted they would receive the wedgie of their nightmares, this normally results in me jumping like a goat in frantic panic to protect my poor gooch from a wedgie of ass destruction. Or my girlfriend yelping like a wounded goat and jumping what can only be described as 10 ft into the air in a 180° twist that would make gymnastics proud, and everyone having a giggle after the ceremonious "fuck you, you cunt"
Fast forward to today, my girlfriend and I are playing around in the bed when she's on top of me cuddling, I see my opportunity for she has made the lethal mistake of wearing a pair of my loose fitting boxers, the stars align, she's unprotected, and I move with the speed of my ancestors racing to a bottle of whisky and I pounce, time slows, I yank as she throws herself back and reaches to stop me but it's too little too late. As the loose fabric rockets up her back with the speed of a cheetah on cocaine running towards a wounded gazelle. My girlfriend screeches more than usual as I start manically laughing, proud of the perfect wedgie. I release her and she falls. It's then I realize that it's not laughing I'm hearing but crying.
Turns out I've ripped her poor hole asunder and the gooch has been rendered ruined. Proceed with the immediate regret and standard response of every boyfriend who has hurt their partner whilst play fighting, as the groveling and apologies come pouring forth. As my GF calls for sudacreme I realize that in my efforts to attain the perfect atomic wedgie, that like Oppenheimer, some power was not meant for human hands and the casualties are too high. I must now spend the rest of the night vigorously apologizing and applying sudacreme to my partners ring. Toilet roll might be put in the freezer.
TL;DR I gave my partner the wedgie of a lifetime and have torn her holes asunder, Icarus flew too close to the sun.
Edit 1: I should make it clear that my girlfriends taint/gooch is safely being cared for, as my mother always said sudacreme can cure anything except cancer, and she is now asleep having had a right good laugh at the comments.
Edit 2: spelling, as sad as it is I'm not as good a wordsmith as many of you believe, I am Scottish and we only recently have evolved to say any word past cheers, cunt and which one of you took a shite and didny flush.
Edit 3: thanks all for your kind words and criticism, can't please everyone and remember I'm not J.R.R. Tolkien or King I wrote a minor fuckup in a way to brighten people's days and have a laugh not win any writing awards, don't take it too seriously.
AcuzioRain: Maybe it's just me but I'm so tired of reading posts with the same writing style. "He approached her like a lion on the prowl looking for his next meal", "My car shot forward like a shooting star with an unknown destination". Just stop and write the story, its become so overused and cringe now.
It might be just me though I don't know.
TheSlothsAreWatching: Think you're forgetting what metaphors and similes are in creative writing. Are you seriously expecting me to try to get a Pulitzer prize on a post about giving my girlfriend a wedgie, get real
rs-curaco28: It's the other way around, you dont have to mention so many metaphors, it sounds like, tryharding? Idk some of us are tired of it, but most ppl in this post seem to like it, so idk.
SoundTracx: Man people will really nit pick everything huh. The man was writing to make it more light hearted.
“No I want my stories to be 100% serious and if you even think about making a fucking metaphor you’re done kiddo” - you right now.
rs-curaco28: Once you read 100s of posts with writing styles similar to this one, it gets really old really fast, imagine if everything was written like this.
SoundTracx: Once you read 1000s of complaints it gets old really fast too. Especially ones that have no effect on your life whatsoever. Get over it
rs-curaco28: I mean, you are complaining about muy complaining.
SoundTracx: That’s the point. Turning the table to see how dumb it is to be complaining about style of writing.
Did you catch that? It’s a metaphor you better run and hide cause it’s coming to get you!!
rs-curaco28: Lol, you dont really know what a metaphor is right?
SoundTracx: The phrase is a metaphor, a substitute for the common idea of a “comeback,” because you would have to reverse the board/the players' current positions/situations in order to change the outcome.
You’re just stupid aren’t you? Can’t even google the saying to even see if you’re right. So lazy and ignorant. No wonder you complain about the stupidest shit. An actual child like response, you have to be a child or I’ll feel terribly sorry for you.
hektorblin: its funny seeing someone get so pressed about something so insignificant
also, the other person is right. you really don't know how metaphors work
SoundTracx: The fact that I already described how it’s a metaphor and you can’t realize that is embarrassing mate.
hektorblin: Not only is your "explanation" written so poorly that it's nearly unintelligible, but it still doesn't reflect what a metaphor is by definition. I do get what you were trying to say, but that still doesn't make your comment a metaphor
SoundTracx: Are idioms metaphors? Idioms can be metaphors, especially implied metaphors, because they require the reader or listener to compare unlike things to understand the meaning.
I don’t think you understand either. I get what YOU are trying to say but it’s still wrong.
Please keep bandwagoning I do enjoy watching this.
hektorblin: nah mate you're way off. there's no point trying to explain this to you
SoundTracx: Yes sir Mr. 20 English degrees, whatever you say to make you sleep better at night.
| 17 | 276.235294 | |
1674278603 | 1674359680 | t3_10hjl1e | t5_2to41 | 37 | throwaway112233112: TIFU by talking to my Best Friends sister
So, some back story.
Me 14M and my best Friend also 14M met in Pre-K.
Been best friends ever since recently me and his sister started talking She liked me (which everyone knew) and I liked her. We started flirting and talking every day hiding it from her brother out of fear of what he might do. One day they were in the car arguing when my best friend said I'm gonna tell Me she likes me to which she says ok do it. He does and I say okay. After a few days I wake up to him calling me I picked up and he asked me do you like my sister and I said uh I don't really care about that right now and come to find out before I answered he kept insulting me and asking his sister why would you like him etc. His sister then starts telling him about how we were flirting and and he say that the previous night we were on call for like 5 hours so he calls me back and says that he was really annoyed with me and his sister going behind his back and talking I apologized profusely and he said he needed some time to think apparently by talking to his sister he started crying fast forward to today he called me and says I don't wanna talk to you ever again or my sister ever again so if you see me disappear from your friends list that's why the reason he said this was apparently because his sister told him she wouldn't text me and then right after started texting me and we talked. A few hours ago she texted me I don't think we can talk any more.
TLDR: Lost my My best friend of 8 years because I started talking to his sister and she lied about not talking to me.
Jinrith: I think your best friend's gay. For you.
throwaway112233112: For real?
johnmyster: Possible, but unlikely.
onebadmex66: Love finds a way...
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1674353349 | 1674355255 | t3_10i8ayi | t5_2to41 | 51 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking out a married woman.
[deleted]
Pasdallegeance: Yep, time for a new coffee shop.
sadboifatswag: Correct </3
Pasdallegeance: Look for a wedding band next time won't ya? It's something we all learn to do, save you some embarrassment.
tnguy931: Some folks don't wear them
| 5 | 10.2 | |
1674340031 | 1674416822 | t3_10i3jbn | t5_2to41 | 4 | SomeGuyWithPlotArmor: TIFU by sucking my own dick
[removed]
Adraestea: I thought you had to remove ribs to actually be able to get into the position to suck yourself, is it actually doable with just flexibility exercise?
DrStanislausBraun: Yes.
Adraestea: Huh, interesting. TIL (not sure why I'd EVER need this knowledge...)
| 4 | 1 | |
1674354131 | 1674357283 | t3_10i8kkn | t5_2to41 | 3 | 2021koc: TIFU by cheating on my significant other
Im a college student that's never dealt with a situation like this so please bare with me. I'd been with my partner for about 4 months at this point but we decided to break up but still "talk" to one another. We were going through a BIG rough patch and I tend to be a person that can't handle confrontation or arguments very well and I dread the thought of being alone and I thought that she didn't love me anymore because she would always just talk to me with these dry cold responses. One day on Instagram im going through stories and I see a person im not really close with but I know of her so I slide up and made a joke about her story. She then as a joke flirted with me so jokingly I did the same. We started talking more and more and actually became close friends until we realized something more was developing. The problem is I wasn't transparent in the beginning because like I said fear of confrontation so I never told her about my s.o. One day my S.O. got suspicious and checked my phone and found I was talking to her and texted the girl. She then gave me an ultimatum of either I block the girl or I don't and I lose her. I knew she already texted her so I was like if she leaves I have no one else and that fear of being alone kicked in so I blocked her. But I honestly fell in love with the girl because she treated me better and we had common interests and we're very similar. I tried to text her to apologize and explain but she blocked me so now I'm back with my s.o.(Who I honestly believe is just waiting for a reason to leave)
TLDR: I met a somewhat random person while technically in a relationship, fell in love with her, and ruined 2 relationships at once just because I'm a pussy
daihlo: Now die
2021koc: Believe me I want to
daihlo: It’s ok we all fuck up and you will recover
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1672530760 | 1672859832 | t3_1006z12 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Mars_The_Dead: TIFU by not cleaning my floor
So this morning I was in my room getting ready for work and had ordered some starbucks online. As I got up from my bed to warm my car up I stepped on a darning needle I use for crocheting.
The needle had been in a bag to prevent me from losing/stepping on it. The needle went through said bag and my sock to lodge itself into my foot.
This needle is about six inches long and about a pen tip thick. It went through the outer left side of my foot. About 2-3 inches was stuck in my foot while the rest poked out.
My room is upstairs so I had to hobble down the stairs to get into the car.
My grandma drove me to the hospital to make sure it hadn't hit the bone and wasn't bent. Luckily it wasn't so they pulled it and gave me some pain medication.
Now I can't work either of my two jobs because both require that I'm on my feet for hours at a time.
TLDR- I didn't clean the floor in my room and got a six inch needle partially stuck in my foot.
Hiveharbinger: Better than a 9 inch nail huh?
JejuneEsculenta: Well, OP did hurt themselves today...
3D-Printing: Luckily it wasn't Closer to the metatarsal, he got out of it Somewhat Damaged. I hope he had insurance or that could be a financial Ruiner.
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1674352408 | 1674394243 | t3_10i7zkj | t5_2to41 | 2,247 | soccer--girl: TIFU by mistakenly believing that Reddit user r/showerthoughts was the single greatest philosopher of our generation.
Admittedly, this was back before I did not have a Reddit and knew nothing—and I mean nothing—about it.
So, when I saw posts on Instagram from [r/Showerthoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/), I thought it was *a person*. As in, just one person. (Back in the day, almost every account on Instagram that reposted content they stole from other sites removed the handle of the OP, leading me to believe that [r/Showerthoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) was OP's handle).
I even followed a few Instagram accounts dedicated to sharing only their posts. Post after post after post of the most profound, thought-provoking things I had ever heard. I genuinely believed there was a solitary person out there just *cranking* out these shower thoughts. I always wanted to meet (and, of course, smoke a bowl with) them.
It wasn't until I asked my friend if they had ever heard of the legendary [r/Showerthoughts](https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/) and they responded with, "Uhhh, you mean the subreddit?" that I realized I might be misunderstanding something. They explained to me what a subreddit was, and it was then that I realized my mistake. We had a good laugh about it.
TL;DR Before I knew anything about Reddit, when I saw posts on Instagram from r/Showerthoughts, I thought they were all from the same person, and I considered them an actual genius.
FluffMyGarfielf: You've heard of Plato, you've heard of Aristotle, you've maybe even heard of John Locke. But all pale in comparison to the genius mind that is the greatest philosopher of all time, now and forevermore, the latest, the greatest.... R/SHOWERTHOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously though for some reason i just absolutely love this. One of my favorite tifus.
Lovat69: >You've heard of Plato, you've heard of Aristotle,
morons.
Arisayne: "You've fallen victim to one of the [classic blunders](https://youtu.be/rMz7JBRbmNo)! The first is never get involved in a land war in Asia!"
YeettheFockers: but only slightly less well known is this: “Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!”
AJ787-9: 
PoeTayToes_: &#x200B;
| 7 | 321 | |
1674158523 | 1674231313 | t3_10gbluu | t5_2to41 | 1,773 | YuriPugnant: TIFU by making sure a coworker was wearing pants.
I'd been tasked to assist a colleague with updating items on our organization's web page. She'd already done the updates, but didn't quite grasp the upload process in our Content Management System, so I was glad to assist. We didn't have access to the conference room, so I brought my laptop to her desk, only to discover that it was low on power.
Where I needed to sit wasn't close to the wall or an outlet, so I was going to have to run a power cable. I went to my office to retrieve one, then came back and started to crawl under the desk opposite hers to get to an electrical outlet, which is when I realized the desks didn't have panels all the way to the floor, so I popped back up, looked at my co-worker and said "Um ... before I start climbing around down there, you're wearing jeans today, right?"
She guffawed, almost brayed. "Yes. Yeah, yeah, good thing you checked, huh?"
I got connected and we got the job done in less than a half hour, but during that time she kept referring back to me being under her desk and alluding to things like "You know, while you're *down there.*.."
Right as we finished, she squeezed my bicep and said, "You know I'm just teasin' you, hon, right?"
Reader, I'm not 100% sure she is.
TL;DR: I tried to not be a pervert and ended up getting mildly perved upon.
Festernd: You basically said "Hi, I'm actively not a creep!"
which with how many men are creeps, translated for this woman as "I can be safely flirty with this person"
ThirdFloorGreg: OP: Hi, I'm actively not a creep!
Coworker: That's ok, I am.
mikebenb: EXACTLY!!! The double standard when it comes to things like this are laughable and sad.
Festernd: meh, I'm okay with a double standard when the relative risks are also unequal. kinda like the difference between someone throwing rocks and someone shooting a gun. It's just small, light, fast moving objects right?
Guy get inappropriately flirted with, and it goes too far: embarrassment, legal involved
Gal gets inappropriately flirted with, and it goes too far: horrible death
mikebenb: Ok. However you want to justify it. Deary me! I suppose it's "OK because me like it".
Festernd: sure, ok.
mikebenb: You are pathetic! The guy went out of his way to show he understands how innocent behaviour could be misconstrued as inappropriate in the situation and you still saw fit to make unwanted physical contact. Entitled or what!!!!
Festernd: i see. projection?
mikebenb: Instead of feeling embarrassed at your comments and acting out. Read the comments below ours from men and women who aren't afraid to agree this is textbook SH.
Festernd: ok.
| 11 | 161.181818 | |
1672532238 | 1672594330 | t3_1007g8p | t5_2to41 | 97 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my cousin find out she has a brother
[removed]
dokter_chaos: rough.
messeage her "I've only known for a few months. I wish I could have to you this in a better way."
vilidj_idjit: OP: "btw, u/dokter_chaos says i've only known for a few months \[...\]"
| 3 | 32.333333 | |
1674348208 | 1674412648 | t3_10i6jaz | t5_2to41 | 18 | DarkDestroyer129: TIFU by losing all of my money at a casino by being an idiot.
Today I had the amazing idea to visit the nearest casino that was near me. I went positive about $200, then dumbass me decided that since I'm getting super lucky, I should try to win some more money, so I go back to play the machines, and I don't pay attention to how much money I have, and before I knew it, I have wasted all my cash. I even wasted more money frantically trying to win some money back and that left me flat broke, I should have just left when I noticed that I was losing more money than I was making.
tl;dr:
I went from 300$ to $500 to $0, and now I have to explain how I suddenly lost $500, I should have just left when I was winning instead of trying to win more money, but like the dumbass I am, I ruin everything good that happens to me.
Usagiboy7: You weren't lucky and then unlucky. Your response to winning $200 and feeling lucky, then losing more money is designed into casinos. Literally. They use psycologists and mathematicians to design everything, from the games to the perks to the distance from your machine to the bathroom and bar.
- If you play, play for fun, not to win.
- Bring only the amount you are willing to loose. Leave your credit and debit cards at home.
- Once you win money, keep it separate from your initial play money. Don't spend win money.
- If you cant resist spending win money, stop gambling altogether. It is a sign you may have traits that will lead to the disease of gambling addiction.
Edited for clarity
hambonecharlie: I have a scratcher problem. I don't go to the casino. I read and reread your bullet points until they were memorized. I hope your wisdom words will percolate to consciousness the next time I am at the convenience store with the ticket rack.
Usagiboy7: I like scratchits. When Im on a scratchit kick, I limit myself to buying 3 tickets, all at once of the same kind, and only do this once per month. My ticket of choice is the BINGO card. They take longer to play than most others. And I genuinely find them fun. And when I buy 3 at a time, I often win at least $2 on one of them. So, it's like I only paid for 2 scratchits instead of 3.
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1674357770 | 1674360616 | t3_10i9r2t | t5_2to41 | 150 | canttaketheshiny: TIFU by venturing outside my box (and embarrassing my husband)
Tl;dr at the end.
I have severe social anxiety. Like, diagnosed and medicated-for anxiety. Part of that has always been what I think of as a "fear of being perceived" (which also kind of goes hand in hand with self-loathing and body dysmorphia - don't @ me, I know I have issues). Whether it be public speaking or just strangers noticing I exist, my brain thinks that that's a reason to trigger a fight or flight response a solid 25% of the time (these days - used to be a lot more like 80%, and life was harder).
Anyway, my husband and I decided to take a drawing class together at the local community college. Max seats for enrollment was 14 - I figure, that's a small group, and they'll be focused on their own stuff, I'll be fine no worries. First day, first exercise: draw a self portrait. Okay, fine, I can (poorly) draw a face. Part 2: swap drawing boards with a classmate and have them draw you. So, someone is going to a) see what I've (badly) drawn and b) look at me closely for an extended period while I have to interact with them.
Immediate panic attack. Having done this for awhile now, I felt it coming and basically ran out of the classroom to try to get my breathing under control in private. My poor husband has everyone looking at him sideways bc he didn't "pick" me to partner with (which is not the issue) and timing-wise, it sure looks like I stormed off bc of that.
Anyway, I'm probably going to drop the class, disappointing myself, and him, yet again (tho he insists it's fine).
Tl;dr: TIFU by thinking my mental illness would not impact my ability to participate in an art class with my husband. I was wrong.
EDIT: Thank you all so much for your kind words and good advice. 💜 I talked with my husband and I'm going to give it another try this coming Saturday. We're going to go a bit early and talk with the prof. about letting me know general lesson plans, even if just a week ahead of time (no surprises = less anxiety).
DoitfortheHoff: You're never going to find a more welcoming environment for acceptance of self than an art class. Don't quit.
Po3ticLandMermaid: Came here to say this.
To create is to be vulnerable, so it's so brave and speaks volumes that OP signed up for the class in the first place!!!
But I agree with DoitfortheHoff. There's a very high chance that everyone in that class either was or has before felt similarly anxious about that exercise. It may even have been intensional by the prof to humble everyone. Not trying to minimize your experience, but just saying, you're not alone.
OP, you know your own thresholds best, but I would encourage you to try again. In my experience, each little exposure makes it a tiny bit easier.
| 3 | 50 | |
1674264534 | 1674335959 | t3_10hf755 | t5_2to41 | 1,137 | EvanDoes_Reddit: TIFU when I ruined my life for the pursuit of happiness.
TL;DR I broke up with my partner of 5 years because I was unhappy in the relationship. Now, my friends hate me, my parents are angry at me, and I feel so alone. I wonder if I should have just left my relationship as-is.
TIFU because I (F19) broke up with my faithful partner (M19) of 5 years. We have known each other since middle school and I had never been happier when we finally got together. However, as the years went by, I have been struggling with the fact that I am asexual. I had told my partner about my thoughts about it a year ago but was brushed off. Recently, I told my partner again that I believe I am asexual and my partner agreed that it made sense because our sex-life has been lackluster or nonexistent. I thought our relationship wouldn't change too much but my partner said that they would want sex in their relationship. Therefore, we proceeded to agree that we would be better off as friends.
My partner was paying half of my rent and I knew that without their help, I would not be able to pay rent comfortably. I called my parents and told them the situation and they were extremely upset with me. My parents told me that when I moved out of their house, I "should have known" that I would be able to completely pay for it myself. I am currently in college and work a part-time job. I have not had spending money for months because I have been paying for rent. My parents were screaming at me for asking them for help for a few months while I pick up the pieces of my life. They suggested I should drop out of my college here and move back in, however, I am not allowed to take my two disabled cats ( whom are my only comfort in this world ) with me because "their house is already a barn". I obviously rejected this idea but now I am being villainized by my family.
My now ex-partner is still my friend but will continuously snap at me in front of our friend group. It feels like they are being turned against me. They all agree that I am being difficult and that my ex-partner is correct to do so. I am being talked to behind my back in our group chat and I am feeling so alone.
I tried to better my life for the pursuit of my own happiness but am now more miserable than ever before. I consistently think about how my life would be much better now if I had kept the relationship I was unhappy in just for convience sake.
For more context now: My ex is living with his mom. I have been picking up some extra shifts at work so my parents don't have to help me this month as well (hopefully). So financially, I would say I am going to be fine. Thanks for all the great advice and stuff too. I am trying my best to read every comment (good or bad) because they are all valid points.
Edit: Spelling/Formatting. Edit: More information
karen_rittner54: Happy people don't break-up. You need to collect yourself & move forward. Something was missing.
StereoOnCookingBacon: Yeah, sex.
It’s a little ridiculous that OP expected the 19-year-old boy to commit to celibacy for life and pay half the bills just so OP doesn’t have to give up her disabled cats.
[deleted]: Did you read the post or did you just stop at no sex? She says they both agreed it would be better to break up and she didn't expect him to do either of those things.
StereoOnCookingBacon: “I thought our relationship wouldn’t change but my partner said they would want sex in their relationship.” She fully expected the boy to agree to an asexual relationship, just like she fully expected her parents to pay her rent.
[deleted]: Yes, and when he wasn't satisfied with that she agreed it would be best to break up. That's how communication works. I'm sure it was difficult for both of them to end a five year relationship due to sexual incompatibility.
StereoOnCookingBacon: Yes??
I’m not sure why you’re arguing with me. I was responding to a comment that said, “Something was missing.” The thing that was missing was sex.
Breaking up was the right thing to do. OP just doesn’t seem to be taking any responsibility for her own life here. It’s not her fault that she’s asexual or that her ex is snippy about the breakup or that her parents won’t pay her rent or take in her cats—but it is her responsibility to figure out the next steps without blaming everyone else.
[deleted]: Yeah the thing that was missing was sexual compatibility, but I just don't really see how any of her expectations were ridiculous. That's the part I disagree with. She hoped her relationship would survive and she accepted when it didn't. She hoped her parents would help her out so she could stay in college, and she's understandably sad that they won't. Nothing about that says to me that she's not taking responsibility for her choices. I guess I just personally relate to her story a bit because I made some bad decisions when I was 19 that I wouldn't have been able to get out of without the support of my parents, and I wish that everyone had that support.
StereoOnCookingBacon: Knowing you always have a home waiting for you allows young people to take risks and make decisions, even bad ones, without lifelong catastrophic consequences. OP is seeing everyone else as the bad guy right now rather than owning her choices. She’s acting like her parents are unsupportive for not paying her rent or agreeing to take in her cats. We don’t know what the parents’ situation is. Maybe “come on home” is the best support they can offer.
DestinyForNone: I think the issue for me here, is that the parents want her to drop out of college... I understand why the relationship went down, that's a separate issue.
The primary issue is the parents being particularly angry with her not being able to keep up rent. Even when I went to college, my parents helped me through college by letting me stay with them for a time.
I should preface, that rent is ridiculously expensive, and cannot be paid by a single person working part time alongside college, regardless of where you live. I'm not even sure what their parents want her to accomplish by dropping out.
| 10 | 113.7 | |
1674261406 | 1674358574 | t3_10he426 | t5_2to41 | 21 | HungryAd2461: TIFU by having an orgasm
I (30's, f) had some personal loving time (party-of-one) and had a happy ending. Suddenly my nether regions started itching incredibly! Turns out I was literally f*** around & finding out.
I can't use washing powder to wash my undies (I wash it by hand with body soap). I also can't use any form of bubble bath or shower gel and have to wash with normal body soap. Well, I've been lazy this past week, washing my undies in the washing machine. I also got a great-smelling shower gel as a Secret Santa gift which I used this morning. I was totally fine until I had an orgasm. My vajay jay started itching and burning!
I had to wash with clean water & put some vaseline on. It's feeling much better now. I'll be returning to my bland routine of only using body soap. Can't risk sending myself to the doc every time I play with myself.
FYI, I haven't had s** in a few years, so no, it is not an STD. Literally just a delayed allergic reaction.
TL;DR. Had allergy flair up by having an orgasm. Am allergic to shower gel & used shower gel I got as a gift. Got an itchy & burning sensation right after orgasm.
BuzzedtheTower: Is there an adult you know that could rewrite this for you?
Aggressive-Donkey845: Probably not a native English speaker? You don't need to be patronising.
BuzzedtheTower: OP is clearly a native speaker. They just need to learn how to use punctuation. Even non native speakers know when to use a period.
jaydoes: You need to go over to that other sub and take some lsd with that dude and relax.
| 5 | 4.2 | |
1674360042 | 1674372850 | t3_10iageb | t5_2to41 | 63 | tempthrowaway00101: TIFU by peeing my pants daily at the gym over the past month
[removed]
DubiousTomato: I feel like 4-5 bathroom trips is a lot. Hydration isn't that delicate, and you're likely pissing away electrolytes too.
Anyway, when you pee in a urinal, pee on the side wall of it. That minimizes splash back because the difference between the angle of your stream and where it hits is smaller (closer to parallel), so instead of splashing off the back of the urinal and towards you (perpendicular), it splashes inward.
tempthrowaway00101: It definitely is a lot. My water intake the hour or so leading up, during, and after the workout is the bulk of what I need for the day.
I'll apply the new technique though
graceodymium: Okay, replying to you again — I’m going to guess either a) you have not told your healthcare professional about your water intake schedule, only the amount, b) you have and your healthcare professional is an idiot who shouldn’t have a license, or c) you’re lying about having ever talked to a doctor about this.
You CANNOT physically get all your hydration needs for the day in an hour. Like, you won’t die, but you’re actually probably hurting your hydration more than helping it. The human body can process a maximum of about 1.5 L of water per hour. At 220 lbs, you need about 3-4 L of water a day. So if you’re consuming the majority if that immediately before and during your workout, you’re literally pissing a significant amount of it away.
And yes, a lot of people on reddit are fitness enthusiasts who know what they’re talking about. It doesn’t take a nursing or medical degree to know you can’t just pound water and be hydrated.
tempthrowaway00101: Who said I only work out for an hour?
Why are you assuming how fast I drink it?
Why is this whole comment section assuming I'm pounding my water, and assuming everything else about what I'm doing?
graceodymium: Uh, you did?
> My water intake the hour or so leading up, during, and after the workout is the bulk of what I need for the day.
-Immolation-: The OP seems to think we aren't here reading words or something.
graceodymium: I mean, since they’re not observant enough to realize they were pissing on themselves for weeks, it may just be a projection thing and they assume everyone else is also oblivious?
| 8 | 7.875 | |
1672528925 | 1672534331 | t3_1006ee0 | t5_2to41 | 41 | indesmowetrust: TIFU Telling my gf she spits a bit when she talks
So my loving girlfriend is a 2nd year Med student and has been really going through it this last week. She’s also sick and just started her period so she’s extra not feeling well.
Well we were joking around and I told her to stop spitting on me so she won’t get me sick as well. She said “stop being rude, I do not spit”. To which I switched from joking to serious and said, “babe, you’re not aware that many times when you say words with P or B a bit of spittle comes out?”.
Oh my lord the waterworks that ensued, the poor girls universe was turned upside down and she started questioning every interaction she’s ever had.
I felt like a dickhead and should have know better than to bring it up at this time. Had to console her and let her now it’s not that bad and that she’ll be ok.
Alls good a couple hours later and we’re joking around again but I felt awful for blowing her world up for a few minutes lol
TLDR; made gf cry by spittin some truth
Argh_1961: No-win situation, dude. I doubt there's ever a good time or a good way to bring that up. Timing aside, at least you ripped that bandaid off quick and it happened when you were home by yourselves. Now she knows and will likely be more cognizant in future.
indesmowetrust: Haha yea it had to happen at some point at least we can laugh about it now
| 3 | 13.666667 | |
1674341589 | 1674360877 | t3_10i44in | t5_2to41 | 9 | calelhthrowaway: TIFU I gave my dog away due to circumstances and I wholeheartedly regret my decision
First I would like to start off that I got this puppy with my boyfriend of 5 years months ago and we were very happy. My boyfriend was training him and teaching our pup Cale commands and tricks. He was a handful but we both had the time to get him settled. We had a routine for him, hired a personal trainer and were getting him potty trained as he was not taught at the shelter yet. He was showered in affection and was deeply loved. About a month ago our schedules changed and it ruined EVERYTHING. I would wake up at midnight, take him out to potty, put him in the kennel (because he was not ready to be out and about in our home yet, sometimes still had accidents) where he'd have to wait for my boyfriend at 6:00am to go back out to potty, play for about an hour or two, get fed, nap/potty breaks with him till about noonish where he'd be let out for his last potty with my boyfriend going to work at 12:30pm and I arriving home at 5:00pm to let him out of the kennel to give him potty breaks and feed and put back in the kennel before my next shift.
This was miserable, on our days off we would go for extensive long walks, hiking, doggy parks and when we ran errands if we could not take him we would drop him off to puppy day care. But we knew, come March, life would be easier. We had a plan for puppy daycare, he would get to play and socialize with other puppies, get fed and be out free not being stuck in a kennel all day.
But...then we got a phone call. My boyfriend got a new job, and for privacy sake, we could absolutely not have a puppy with us for this new job or any dog for that matter. We thought long and hard about it; I didn't have any living relatives and my boyfriend's folks did not have the space nor the time for him. So we decided we would post our pup on the net and hope he went home to a good family. And we did just that, a family inquired interest immediately and during it all I was numb. I watched, out of myself, as we met at a public place had Cale meet the family where the children seemed disinterested, where the wife seemed disinterested but the man appeared elated. He wanted a child friendly dog but Cale wasn't used to kids, hell be barked at them when we went out and he was barking at these kids. I watched as my boyfriend gave these strangers our adoption paperwork and finally when my boyfriend handed the guy his leash and the way our dog-no longer our dog- kept running towards our car. I watched what I believe to be a an emotion of confusion on our dog's face. And in that moment I felt not relief that our puppy was with a family that had kids. Not that he was cute and would be taken care of, out of that kennel but infinite DREAD and consuming GUILT. I was devastated.
I came home the next day feeling our home empty and dead. My boyfriend and I had arguments about his new job and found out that we were moving out of state, something he failed to disclose to me. We had been having issues outside of that and we decided to break up because I wasn't moving away from the only home I've only known along with my unborn child. My now ex, we agreed, would visit as much as he wanted. He was a good man but we definitely needed a lot to work on if we were going to work out and if we needed time our separate ways than so be it. We were civil and still have feelings of friendship for each other.
That was only two days after surrendering our dog and a panic attack overcome me that made me feel alone, devastated and crippled. With us broken up, there was no reason for me to give up my dog. I knew what the plan was before he got the job so knew I could do it alone. I asked my ex to give me the guy's phone number and I texted that I would pay anything for my dog back, that I was sorry for the inconvenience but I only had my baby and Cale and 6 hours later regurgitated the same message only shorter, pleading how I would pay for this dog. And I did not receive a text back. Today I was overwhelmed with anxiety over this and got desperate and I called: no answer and I left a message, still nothing don't know what else to do. I wish we had waited, this was all a mistake and if anyone could give me ideas that would be amazing.
I know he is under no obligation to return my dog and I know that for the moment we probably made the right choice but I'll do anything to undo this wrongness. Thank you for reading, please pray for me.
TL;DR I gave up my dog due to boyfriend's new job not knowing it involved relocation, we broke up now I'm pregnant and alone and the family we rehomed him with doesn't want to answer my texts. I want him back.
PhantomTroupe-2: That sucks. I suggest you wait a few days to decompress then get another dog if you realize you want one still.
I know you were attached to THAT puppy, but there’s thousands of dogs out there that are unloved at this very moment. If you have a void in your heart, consider seeking out another furry companion with a void as well.
calelhthrowaway: I will say one thing, a dog cannot be replaced. And understanding the severe damage that I’ve done, the same could be said about the guy. Why insist on keeping a dog you’ve had for less than a week? Money does not fix or buy all but I am offering him money, he can name the price, to get himself and his family a puppy that is of their choosing and completely theirs with absolutely no ties to anyone. I know I made the mistake, my puppy was innocent but in the end it almost feels like he’s just keeping him to keep him. Had I asked for Cale MONTHS after the family formed that bond than I would understand and even feel justified in them not answering but no answer at all is as fucked up as I have done.
derpotologist: >Why insist on keeping a dog you’ve had for less than a week?
Because they don't know you and they don't trust you to not do the same thing years down the line... or give the dog to the shelter when it's old and no longer convenient and has almost zero chance of adoption
It's unfortunate, I believe you learned a lesson, but sadly these are extremely common scenarios and if it were me... I'm not sure I could give the dog back
I make a promise to every animal that I adopt that I will keep them safe for the rest of their lives. It's not something I take lightly, at all.
Doing that with kids... I think there's a lesson you can teach them either way but that's a judgement call. Can't be mad at someone who would rather teach the lesson "forever means forever" over "sometimes people make mistakes"
Sorry you're going through this. I know it's not the same but /r/petloss helped me when one of mine died young from cancer. I imagine the grief is similar.... Try to take comfort in the fact that they're in a good home and will be taken care of
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1674320392 | 1674322028 | t3_10hvsll | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU with a OLD talking stage that I was keen on
[deleted]
Nashirakins: You were only talking to each other for two months, and he sounds pretty happy to have stuck to texting and avoiding calls. Which didn’t meet your communications needs, even before you went on an actual date together.
Long distance is super hard even with good communication that is tailored to the involved people’s needs. You didn’t have that. You did not remotely come near having that.
Did you FU or did you rip off the bandaid, in a less than ideal way?
NoCaseNoFace2: I didn’t clearly communicate to him before that call that I needed calls so I guess I can’t blame him for that?
The call was supposed to be me expressing my needs/wants and giving him an opportunity to do the same. But the longer it took to happen the more anxious I felt on top of everything else.
The meet up was semi arranged for when I got back (should’ve been for 19th Jan) so I didn’t need to bring that up IMO.
Nashirakins: How many times did he reschedule on you, though? :/
I know you liked him but perhaps you may have liked the idea of him, or the idea of getting with somebody, more than he liked the idea of you.
Or to pull a full reddit jumping to conclusions, he was looking for a side piece and couldn’t call cuz his partner was showing up. Genuinely though, I think you just had a mismatch in expectations and interest. There really are other people out there.
NoCaseNoFace2: 4 times, each time he would reschedule to the next day and fall though. I only asked the once for the call and then followed his lead but followed it up on day 4 by saying werent we supposed to have a call.
It’s odd cause he told me he wasn’t playing games with me and he needed to follow his gut. The words v actions didn’t match up at all hence my anxiety
| 5 | 2.6 | |
1674210327 | 1674293411 | t3_10gticy | t5_2to41 | 746 | NeverKissMeAgain: TIFU when I shared my ex's number with my mom
The mods removed my original post. But the follow up you're about to read is an update of [this update.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1018yre/tifu_when_i_made_a_reddit_post_about_my_break_up) My previous posts received a lot of upvotes and awards, which I really appreciate, but please don't feel the need to keep doing that. This is not even my real account.
The other day my mom asked me why my ex was no longer visiting our house like she used to. I rolled my eyes because I've answered that question before. I said because she's my ex. She had no reason to come to our house anymore. My mom knew my ex and I had broken up, but she's been unable to let it go. She loved my ex like her own daughter, which made it challenging for her to accept that my relationship had come to an end. I've explained to my mom on more than one occasion that my ex and I were not good for each other and the only solution was separation. I didn't tell my mom that my ex kissed me when she was done sucking another man's dick on the day we broke up. It was none of my mom's business, let alone something any person would want to tell their parent.
Since the break up, I've cut all communication with my ex. However, my mom still had my ex's number and I knew the two of them were low key communicating. My mom got my ex's number from me long before the break up. It was one of my mom's rules when it came to my relationships. I always had to provide the contact details of the person I was spending most of my time with. A precaution in case, I dunno, she couldn't get in touch with me or something. I filed it under "mom being mom" and moved on. I didn't really care that my mom still had my ex's number. There was nothing my ex could tell my mom that wouldn't make both of us look bad. Little did I know that my mom would end up inviting my ex to our house without informing me and expect my ex and I to kiss and make up.
Imagine my surprise when I saw my ex sitting in the living room when I walked into the house last night. My mom was quick to grab my arm and show me where to sit. I was fuming. My mom spoke on my ex's behalf and said she came to apologize for what she did. I looked at my mom like what the fuck are you doing. My mom said my ex confided in her and confessed to all the bad things she did during our relationship, including the post blowjob break up kiss. I literally stopped blinking. No parent should know that much about their child. My ex confirmed what my mom was saying and actually apologized. She seemed sincere, but that apology was coming from the same girl who acted completely casual when she decided to use a random guy's penis as an appetizer before putting her tongue in my mouth.
I was not emotionally prepared to contribute anything constructive to the conversation, so I asked my mom and my ex if that was all because I would like to leave. My mom asked if I had nothing to share that could help heal my relationship with my ex. I said sharing was kind of my ex's thing, hence the other guy. At that moment, my ex looked at my mom and said I preferred sharing my feelings with strangers on the internet instead of with real people. I said the "strangers on the internet" were the ones who advised me to get an STD test after she kissed me. My mom was shocked to hear about the STD test. Even though I said I was clean, she got stuck on the fact that I said "STD." My ex got up and said she was gonna go before I start using words like "sexual assault" again.
I got up too and asked my mom if we were done. My mom seemed confused and asked how did we get to STDs and sexual assault. My ex said Reddit. "He got it all from Reddit." I said technically I got it all from you and the dick you sucked. My mom said she heard enough and asked my ex if she wanted to stay for dinner since the food was done. My ex said yes. Dinner was awkward and tense, but my ex and I managed to pretend we didn't hate each other for my mom's sake. My mom made some of her best dishes, which made it even more obvious that she genuinely expected a positive outcome. As I was shoveling down spaghetti, I came to the conclusion that I might be cursed to fight with my ex until we end up dead, or worse, together again (fuck that). I don't know the details my ex shared with my mom during their one on one conversations, but based on how unusually quiet my mom has been since yesterday, I'm guessing she heard more than she anticipated when I opened my mouth. It's really awkward between us now.
TL:DR Long before breaking up with my ex, I shared her phone number with my mom as an emergency contact. Since the break up, my mom and my ex stayed in touch with each other and became like mother and daughter. Despite all my efforts to cut communication with my ex, she used her connection with my mom to team up and torment me at my house.
taejam: If I had a mom like your she would be on the other side of the country no contact. Would let her die in whatever nursing home I'm not visiting. Your mom clearly could give a fuck less about your feelings or boundaries. I would suggest moving out and letting her know in extremely blunt terms this is completely unacceptable unless your fine dealing with it forever.
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Bit extreme innit
Ghostglitch07: Dude got sexually assaulted and his mom invited the perpetrator to their house.thats not okay
TheScruffyStacheGuy: Indeed its not ok. Still... The comment I replied to is extreme if you ask me
Akitiki: No, not really. A parent inviting your assaulter into your home and forced you to have dinner with them? There's not many people that'd want anything to do with that parent after that.
What if *you* were raped, your rapist was your mom's friend. You told your mom what happened, but she invited them over for dinner and forced you to have dinner with your rapist knowing what they did to you? Would you ever want anything to do with your mom again?
TheScruffyStacheGuy: He wasn't forced to stay, he wasn't forced to have dinner. He could have kicked the ex out. He could've walked out himself. But for some reason he sucked it all up... It really boggles my mind that he would stay during this awkward dinner... Why not just walk out?! Did his mom put him in shackles or something?
I don't actually think what happened is rape either. It was very, very violating, gross and definitely sexual assault and most probably traumatizing. Don't think I'm making light of the matter, but calling it rape is a bit much if you ask me.
The mom most likely didn't know the full story since she only heard what the ex had to say. Yeah, the mom crossed a boundary, she was naive and stuck her nose in a situation she shouldn't have. But going no contact and putting her in a nursing home "on the other side of the country"... It sounds like a lot of big talk to me. It's a very black and white perspective. I would resent my mom for it If this happened, but I might not go NC. It depends on more factors, more context. Context OP didnt provide. I also don't think OP necessarily should have provided every single bit of context, he has the right to privacy obviously. But it's very easy for a stranger on the internet to just start yapping "oh I would go no contact blahblahblah" but that's most often not how the real world works. Come on folks we're not living in some kind of drama movie. You can be mad at your mom, you can fight with your mom, you might disagree with your mom on a certain topic or event for your whole life... But it isn't always enough to completely shut her out of your life. You can make that choice, sure. Suit yourself. But in my opinion, it's a bit extreme.
Lt_Muffintoes: >But for some reason he sucked it all up
The child abuse she inflicted on him leaving him unable to respond.
>The mom most likely didn't know the full story since she only heard what the ex had to say.
Doesn't matter. A parent who loves their child will always take their side and have their back. OPs mother doesn't.
TheScruffyStacheGuy: > child abuse
Complete assumption.
> Parent will always have your back
In this case, she should have. Like I said, mom was way outta line. But I don't think a parent should necessarily always have your back no matter what the circumstances.
Lt_Muffintoes: >Complete assumption.
Based on her behaviour and his reaction, no.
>In this case, she should have. Like I said, mom was way outta line. But I don't think a parent should necessarily always have your back no matter what the circumstances.
The funny thing about parenting properly and always having your child's back is that if you do, they will need you to back them up far less.
TheScruffyStacheGuy: > Based on her behaviour and his reaction
Wow you must be a really talented, good, well certified psychologist to draw a conclusion like that from a small piece of text in a Reddit post.
> The funny - far less...
Sounds very profound. I'm not sure if it's true though and it looks like a circular fallacy. Or a false causation? Maybe something else? Or both... What about spoiled children, their parents always have their back and still turn out like shitheads...
Lt_Muffintoes: Have your snippy little downvotes back.
>What about spoiled children, their parents always have their back and still turn out like shitheads...
That's a different form of abuse, usually some level of emotional neglect.
TheScruffyStacheGuy: > have your downvotes back
Hahahahaha seriously? Ouchie, ya got me there.
Allrighty, thanks for the assessment Doctor! If I ever encounter some form of child abuse, now I know who to call.
Lt_Muffintoes: You probably won't even recognise it
| 14 | 53.285714 | |
1674316827 | 1674344680 | t3_10hufhs | t5_2to41 | 447 | Own_Wing213: TIFU by dropping acid with a girl I met online.
I was going on vacation with my family, and decided I should make some friends online. Started joining Discord servers based on the country I'm visiting; I made a friend, and we agreed to meet up on my first day arriving to the country.
We met up at the mall (20km away from my hotel), and it was going fine, we were getting along ok. Before meeting up, I told her about LSD, and downplayed its effect majorly, my only experience with LSD was at very low dosage, and I was ignorant. She was quite curious as she has never had any experience with any drugs, she ended up taking 2/5 of a 300ug tab (I took the rest) .
The buildup was nice, and we were just kinda messing around, and giggling. Leaving, and entering the mall a few times, passing security guards while being high. This blissfulness slowly ended when we realised we were only getting started with the trip, not only that, her dad was picking her up, and she was still tripping.
She got mad at me, which I don't blame her, but I was too fucked up to think straight. She asked me if she would be ok by the time her dad arrived, and I just said yes because I didn't want her to freak out. She was also worried about how I was going to get back to my hotel, but I told her not to worry.
She left, and I only got higher. By this point my memory starts to get hazy, I walked around the outside of the mall, and started talking to random people. I wasn't acting too weird due to there being a language barrier, but then I started peaking.
I don't remember how I met Muhammad. I couldn't tell if he was a real person or not at this point, I saw roughly what I can only describe as Arab Jew Kevin Corrigan from Pineapple Express morphed with Rowan Atkinson. I told him I was tripping on acid, and I asked him the same question over, and over again.
"Where are we?", "Who are you?", "Who am I?", "Why are you helping me?"He responded with the same answers, and was being really helpful. He led me to a restaurant to meet up with his friends, and their girlfriends.
I was making a fool of myself, and his friends were laughing at me, but I think I was being rude, and disruptive. I also couldn't recognise where I was, because it was my first day in this country, and first time at this mall. They fed me some milk, and coffee to try to calm me down, and eventually called me a taxi home.
I texted the girl when I got home to see if she was ok, and she said she vomited on her dad's car, and said I lied to her, saying the drugs wasn't that strong. She then blocked me, but I had her instagram, so I told her to text me when she's sober, because I was freaking out too.
She's still mad at me, but the fact that I will probably never meet her again, and never talk to her again, really bothers me. I'm also mad I never got to say thanks to Muhammad, he basically saved my ass.
TL;DR: Made a friend online who lived in the country I was going to on vacation, I was ignorant, and downplayed the effects of LSD. Met up with the friend at a huge mall, and tripped balls. Met an awesome dude who guided me home.
**EDIT**: I told her I took 100ug, and felt fine, which did happened, so maybe if she took 2/5 of the 300ug tab she would just get a head high too (which obviously didn't happen). I just wanted to say sorry, but yeah I shouldn't have contacted her again. I just felt like such an ass, I just wanted to have a fun night, and I ruined everything but yes I was speaking out of my ass, and I regret it a lot. I just can't do anything now to make it up, and it's killing me.
CJFelony: So you met a girl, dosed her with a drug you had no real experience with, lied to her about your experience, and what hers would be, and despite her blocking you, you found alternative routes to contact her, and you're upset she might never talk to you again?
Woof.
heyitsvonage: He didn’t dose her, she willingly and foolishly dosed herself.
Laumser: Yeah under the assumption that it wouldn't be so strong, based on what he told her. That's fucked
Informal-Bag-872: True but she also willing took illegal drugs from a stranger she met on the internet. Neither were particularly smart.
Laumser: Yeah she ain't the smartest tool either, but he admitted to downplaying the effects, so I'm willing to bet he exaggerated his own experience in that field as well.
| 6 | 74.5 | |
1674221045 | 1674245346 | t3_10gwvic | t5_2to41 | 215 | Tgm_Manic: TIFU by not checking my jeans properly
Currently writing this on my lunch break and contemplating life.
Last night as I was coming back from work, I walked into my apartment building. I’ve always been a bit clumsy and unsteady on my feet and I accidentally fell against the wall back first. Obviously got up and brushed myself off and went on about my evening before going to bed. Woke up this morning and put on my jeans from yesterday as usual and went off to work.
As I walked out, it felt cold despite wrapping up warm, but my back especially felt extra cold. Not thinking anything of it, i then headed off to work and made my first port of call to the toilet. As I was coming out of the toilet and walking into my office, one of the receptionist staff looked at me, then did a double take which I spotted out of the corner of my eye.
At this point, I was feeling a bit nervous but still didn’t think anything about it. Until I finally sat down in my chair. The feeling of ice coldness went through my body, but particularly on my arse. I stood up and looked down and realised that I had a rather large gash in my jeans going down from the waist band to the bottom of my arse cheek.
The horror upon realisation that I went into a busy shop this morning without knowledge of this, and that I showed some poor guy my rather colourful underwear struck me like a sack of bricks. I don’t think I can ever go out and show my face again. My only saving grace is that I’m the only person in the office today and my flat is only 5 minutes away from work, but that doesn’t make me feel any better knowing I have to walk back home showing the world my arse.
TLDR: managed to cut the back of my jeans without realising, showed everyone in a shop and office reception my rather mediocre underwear
UniqueHurry40: Moral : always check your pants before leaving your house 😂
Tgm_Manic: I definitely will be doing this going forwards!
AcrobaticSource3: You should also do it going backwards, in case the gash is on the other side
| 4 | 53.75 | |
1674361455 | 1674364644 | t3_10iavun | t5_2to41 | 23 | oldsoul334578: TIFU by getting stuck in the mountains of New Mexico
Obligatory this didn’t happen today/I’m on mobile.
So I was doing a solo drive across the country (USA), and I decided that I wanted to go see the Santa Fe National Forest in New Mexico. It was only a slight detour from my original route, and I was making good time, so I decided to go check it out. I looked on the National Parks website, and from what I could tell, this looked like a place where you could park your car, get out, and walk around. I put in “Santa Fe National Forest” into Apple Maps, and off I go. I get to the last part of my route, where the GPS says, “In 10 miles, prepare to park your car near Service Road x”.
My SUV has AWD, and I had snow chains in the backseat, so I wasn’t worried. One thing to note is that I’m in an area of New Mexico where the population of the closest town can’t be more than 100.
Here’s where it gets interesting.
I’m following GPS up this hill, and the road is mostly plowed. I make it about 2 miles into the last 10 mile stretch before I see this pickup coming down the mountain, and pull up next to me. I explain myself to the 2 gentlemen, and they gently suggest I should turn around because the road up ahead isn’t plowed very well. I thank them for the information, and tell them that I’ll turn around now.
They keep driving down the mountain, and I go to turn around on the narrow road (mistake #1). I am trying to navigate a 3-point turn when, you guessed it, I slide into the ditch behind me. These 2 gentlemen see this all go down, back up, and kindly ask if they can help. I of course oblige, and dig out my tow hook and tow chain. We get everything attached to their truck and my car, and they start pulling. Miraculously, it only took 2 attempts to get me out of the ditch. I thank them graciously for their help, and apologize for being a dumbass. I give them a $20, because I know they didn’t have to back up and help me. They tell me they would never leave someone stuck.
I explain that GPS said the service road was up ahead, and that was when they informed me that I was actually on the service road, but nobody goes up it in the winter (mistake #2). They told me that they had a small property up ahead around the corner, and if I had kept going a little ways, I could’ve turned around there. I am quite appreciative, and they have me follow them down the mountain. I ended up getting out of the area, and after driving around 100 miles to the interstate (I wish I were joking), I was on the road again. So to the 2 nice Mexican gentlemen who helped me out, thank you so much for not leaving me stranded.
TLDR; TIFU by following GPS up what turned out to be a service road in the mountains of New Mexico which led to me getting stuck in a ditch, all because I wanted to see a National Forest.
Shawaii: I grew up exploring side-roads all over New Mexico. Much better idea in summer.
oldsoul334578: Yeah it seemed like a decent area but I definitely could’ve timed it a bit better haha
Shawaii: When gas was cheap and we didn't have maps on our phones yet, exploring back-roads was pretty exciting. Glad you made it out safely.
oldsoul334578: That sounds like it was definitely an experience. Yes I am very fortunate that someone was around…I’m just glad it wasn’t dark out!
| 5 | 4.6 | |
1674196758 | 1674538872 | t3_10gpu5n | t5_2to41 | -1 | throwRAgosfar: TIFU by forgetting I could get pregnant
I understand the title sounds wild but here's the thing, I'm a 17 year old trans guy, and I have a condition that makes me miss periods a lot. So sometimes I go six months or longer with very minor cycles, if any at all. And this, somehow, lead me to fucking FORGET I could get pregnant.
Today I went to a doctor's appointment for something completely unrelated and the they asked if I had noticed any changes so I mentioned that I'd noticed I'd been putting on some weight but nothing out of the ordinary, weight fluctuates. This immediately set off flags for them and they asked me if I'd be comfortable taking a pregnancy test.
Fucking positive, of fucking course.
God I'm such a fucking dumbass.
I have no idea what to do.
Apparently I'm about 5 months along, not showing too much yet for multiple reasons but it's definitely late enough that there are many concerns with termination. I've always wanted to be a dad, just,,, not like this.
My partner is on his way and we're gonna talk this over, but I'm worried he's just gonna walk out of my life, he's been my best friend for over a decade and I can't fucking lose him like this.
My parents don't know yet, I don't know if the doctor will have to inform them since I'm a minor or if it's up to me to tell them. My mum is super religious and she will murder me for this, I trust my dad with everything, I know he'll know how to help I just can't bring myself to tell him, he'll be so disappointed, after all the time he spent drilling into me and my siblings heads about safe sex too.
FUCk.
TL;DR I'm 17, trans, and through a series of coincidences fucking forgot I could get pregnant. Went to the doctor's, turns out I'm about 5 months along. I may have just ruined my fucking life.
3r1c_w4n9: How can you possibly be trans if your parents are strictly religious.
throwRAgosfar: 1 what kind of question is that
2 did you even read the post? How would I trust my dad with everything if he didn't accept me.
3 in what world would someone's parents being religious stop someone from being trans? From coming out of the closet perhaps, being trans? That's simply not how the world works my dude.
3r1c_w4n9: 1. When have you mentioned you trust your dad with everything?
2. If you knew enough about religion in general, you would know 99% of religions find it a sin to be lgbtq or even have underage sex.
3. Probably should've thought twice before you had sex.
throwRAgosfar: Your reading comprehension astounds me, are you even old enough to be on Reddit?
1. I'd tell you to reread the post but clearly you can't so:
"My mum is super religious and she will murder me for this, **I trust my dad with everything**, I know he'll know how to help I just can't bring myself to tell him"
2. Just because something isnt allowed doesn't mean it can't happen, and just because my mother's religious doesn't mean I am, or that my dad is. Do you really think back in the 1800s there were no trans or gay people because it wasn't allowed? And even then, there are religious people who believe trans people should be allowed to exist. If you knew enough about religion you would know that the interpretation of the scriptures has changed over time, and will continue to change, are you going to stop wearing mixed fabrics because the old testament says not to?
3. You think I don't know that? Why do you think this post is on **Today I Fucked Up**?
3r1c_w4n9: " Your reading comprehension astounds me, are you even old enough to be on Reddit?" are you stupid?
People in the "1800s" that were gay were probably executed and you would know if you actually stayed in school instead of having premature sex.
" And even then, there are religious people who believe trans people should be allowed to exist. " Not a chance, not at the time.
" If you knew enough about religion you would know that the interpretation of the scriptures has changed over time " Not in the way that you would think.
" are you going to stop wearing mixed fabrics because the old testament says not to? " I'm not religious, but your parents are so this has nothing to do with me.
" You think I don't know that? Why do you think this post is on **Today I Fucked Up**? " maYbE itS coS you FuCkeD uP .🤯shocker. Who would've thought?
throwRAgosfar: You're an actual toddler, not gonna waste any more time on your toddler arguments.
3r1c_w4n9: Worst of luck ma'am! i may be a "toddler", but at least im not about to have one. " not gonna waste any more time on your toddler arguments. " youre gonna have to within a few years.
throwRAgosfar: A transphobic child throws a tantrum about someone ranting about a very big mistake they made. I may have a toddler in a few years but they'll grow up, I doubt you will grow out of your terrible attitude.
3r1c_w4n9: didnt you say you werent gonna waste your time? (smartest person in arizona) [https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitAmericansSay/comments/smpy4n/im\_not\_american\_im\_arizonian/](https://www.reddit.com/r/ShitAmericansSay/comments/smpy4n/im_not_american_im_arizonian/)
" but they'll grow up " not with a degenerate for a parent though.
| 10 | -0.1 | |
1674242673 | 1674365010 | t3_10h5qqf | t5_2to41 | 25 | HethinksIpeedMyself: TIFU My boss things I peed myself
[removed]
olduvai_man: That's why you need to exclusively wear Calico Cut Pants.
If you know, you know.
AcrobaticSource3: This comment sounds like an advertisement for Calico Cut Pants. It is sponsored?
olduvai_man: Haha, it's not a real product so don't worry.
Referencing a skit from I Think You Should Leave where they advertise pants that are stained so that it looks like you've urinated yourself so you can explain it away when you actually have.
AcrobaticSource3: Oh, hahaha, I’m dumb! :)
| 5 | 5 | |
1674306823 | 1674324039 | t3_10hqyuj | t5_2to41 | 65 | Clayman8: TIFU by trying to do a useful thing at work and instead deleting 3 years of accounting files
This happened this morning sadly, only to make it worse.
**Setting:**
I work in an adult cinema at the till, problem is our boss is relatively...shady i want to say and basically makes us do everything *else* as well despite it not being on our contract which in some cases includes accounting, stock and payments.
**Lead up:**
Our PC here is slowly dying since they're trying to save money on *every* possible thing they can, with the idea of "if it works, its fine". Yesterday, the pc straight up BSOD'ed because they insist on it being "on at all times", so basically it runs 24/7 all year round. I decided to copy all the current files we need, things like daily accounts, stocks, overtime hours etc onto a USB in case the PC does finally die.
**The TIFU:**
As i was copying files, something somewhere happened and im pretty sure i accidentally *deleted* the files i was copying. Thats 3 years of **daily** accounts of our sales, stocks and other information thats just...*gone*. Currently sifting through the computer with Recuva, restoring what files i can restore in the frail hopes i can get most of it back. I know no one really checks but i hate leaving my mistakes un-fixed...
TL:DR Wanted to saveguard our database in case something went wrong. I was the thing that went wrong.
Update: i managed to save the acconting files, and the computer crashed again. All the stock files are lost it seems, but at least i can cross-fill them back with the accounting stats and some physical counting of the stocks. What a fucking day...
Malevolent_Mangoes: Waiting for the update that says either OP is fired or nobody noticed
Clayman8: Got some stuff back, some will have to be manually redone however. Doubt they care at this point since we're going to close some time soon as rumours go but still...
xElMerYx: Why spend a few hours manually rebuilding the files when you can spend a few weeks learning how to automate it?
Clayman8: I wish we had done this.
I wish theyd listen when we tell them shit's fucked.
I wish i didnt care anymore so i could let it burn down.
So many variables where upper management could make the job more efficient but wont.
ishzlle: >I wish i didnt care anymore so i could let it burn down.
It's just a job bro. Just do your own tasks to the best of your ability. If the place burns down because of neglectful management, that's on them, not on you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Clayman8: Thankfuly i've learnt to do exactly that. I fix what *needs* to be to work, everything else is "oh well i cant do this, i dont know how sorry". I do the minimum tasks now and thats all.
Feels amazing.
| 7 | 9.285714 | |
1674200491 | 1674203805 | t3_10gqvr2 | t5_2to41 | 718 | Frost_DK: TIFU by not realizing my (back then) crush's interest in me. Today she sent me a meme about late realized romantic interest.
I had a huge crush on this girl and we were close back then. Talking on the phone every day, facetime, playing game till mornings, snap strikes etc. I never thought she would be interested in me because I thought she was way out of my league. (Or I was afraid to get rejected)
Today she sent me a meme, Leo Dicaprio sits there thinking and the caption says "when you realize that she was actually flirting with you but now its 5 years to late" and she commented "this is you probably"
Time to time I was thinking about us and say what a stupid dumbass am I. How I couldnt see this back then. And today I am sure she was interested in me..
TL;DR: I realized that the girl I like back then was flirting with me and been thinking about it time to time. I never took action about my feelings and today she sent me a meme about "late realized she was flirting with me"
Edit: wow thank you for so many replies and advices. As I mentioned in the comments she is in a relationship and I am not planning to act on it as long as she is in one. Because I dont want to be that guy.
ShhhHesWatchingUs: Too late cause she's in a relationship or you are?
If neither, then why not ask the q now?
Frost_DK: She's in a relationship now
[deleted]: If she’s sending that to you and she’s in a relationship. She obviously wants you bro
CerealKiller1993: agreed, bit odd to send this if you're in a stable relationship
[deleted]: agreed, also a bit of a yellow flag on her end.. proceed with caution if you do OP
| 6 | 119.666667 | |
1674331556 | 1674366034 | t3_10i08c5 | t5_2to41 | 7 | virtual97315: TIFU by making another sign off on a purchase
Fuck, I’m so slow at times.
For the longest time now I’ve had the feeling that I was being done over by a total nit picker at work.
I have raging ADHD, but I’ve been taking extra care to dot all my i’s and cross all my t’s. Enter project X.
In short we may or may not have to switch suppliers for a certain service. I’ve been trying to line up the new option because I don’t see the old one lasting. This fall, I had to make a big order for some stuff. I knew it would be tight so I pushed it through post haste, in the hopes it’d get delivered before end of budget year. Vendor goes silent but then I’m told it won’t happen until Q1 this year. Shite. This is not the kind of investment you just casually dribble around in your budget. So end of fiscal year rolls around and I haw and hum my way out of signing off on that shit because we’re not allowed to do so unless the goods have been delivered.
Now please note that normally this would not have been a problem: this is a trusted vendor that we have had a long relationship with and if it hadn’t been for the aforementioned paranoia, I’d have signed off on it and got on with my life. But this time I made sure to have three witnesses agree that signing off on this thing was ok, because embezzlement is really not something I want to be fired for.
It never occurred to me that this might put them in the line of fire as well.
Shit.
TL;DR
I tried to avoid getting in trouble for signing off on a contract payment prematurely, and may instead have dragged the Department PA into the mud pit alongside me.
Comfortable-Policy70: Go to your boss yesterday and explain. It is entirely your fault unless one of those witnesses was your boss. Do not blame ADHD. Take the hit and don't do it again
virtual97315: I’m biting the bullet next department meeting (this week). Gonna have to kick myself until then.
PS. My ADHD is not an excuse, more an explanation for why I probably light up like a Christmas tree on every Usual Suspect checklist. I’ve grown somewhat used to it.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1674365058 | 1674405424 | t3_10iby1b | t5_2to41 | 14 | BiGray18: TIFU by trying to exist in my hispanic bfs house
as the title says- my boyfriend is Venezuelan. his parents were born and raised there and immigrated over to the US with his older brother. Im white. I recently was invited over to his house as his parents have an issue with my father smoking weed, despite them smoking cigarettes. No problem. the first visit goes okay. His dad tells me to make myself at home and his mom who wasn't feeling well came downstairs for a bit to talk to me.
I was happy with myself until he told me after meeting me his mom said he could do better and that she doesnt understand why he likes me since im short, white, skinny, and have no boobs or ass. She's also convinced that my father who is my only real family is a drug addict. Today, I was invited over again. It went horribly. His mom said I stunk like weed (i literally covered myself in perfume before leaving) and glared at me and insulted me to my bf as if just because I dont speak spanish means I cant put 2 and 2 together. Everytime my bf left the room we were in she tried to argue with him about me. She told him I didnt have proper manners because I didnt know the guests were supposed to greet the hosts first as every other house (including other hispanic families!) ive ever been to and my own is the host is supposed to greet the guest and the first time I came over they both greeted me first! I dont know what to do. I love this boy and I'm trying to do everything to comply with what they want. I dont feel comfortable in their house and i ended up crying as he promised me it would be okay. Im at my wits end
TLDR; Hispanic bfs mom hates me cause im not perfect in body proportion, my dad smokes, and apparently im rude when they were the ones being rude to me.
NUMBerONEisFIRST: Most people hate their in-laws. You don't need their approval.
AlternActive: hispanic/latin inlaws are a headache to deal with MOST of the times. My exes so far have gotten lucky (their own words) since apparently my mom is cool AF and my dad plays fornite on his 50's.
Lucky them i guess, but my own experiences with in-laws have so far been on the extremes. Super cool or super bad. Current one's cool.
| 3 | 4.666667 | |
1673348792 | 1674584774 | t3_10806sg | t5_2to41 | 21 | MildlyShadyPassenger: It's telling that your response to a story of a drunk woman filming herself doing yoga at the gym at 9:00 at night acting unstable and confrontational (you know, like drunk people of any gender do) is to go off on a tangent about how a broad group of women always overreacts and assumes the worst of men.
Especially ironic since your gripe is that they're doing the exact same thing you are.
Zeronality: Just seeing correlations there.
yildizli_gece: No, you are not; you're going off because someone said something in there about men that upset you personally.
If this same story, *as-is*, was posted there, that sub would also blast the woman as crazy; don't make shit up.
Zeronality: >don't make shit up.
Nah, I have been there. They defended Amber Heard to death solely because she was a woman. That sub is completely pro-women, which is neither egalitarian nor really objective reasoning.
MildlyShadyPassenger: *There* it is.
They committed the unforgivable crime of siding against a celebrity you like, so they are all *obviously* hysterical and hate all men.
Zeronality: [https://www.reddit.com/r/JustUnsubbed/comments/znco30/just\_unsubbed\_from\_rtwoxchromosomes\_women\_good/](https://www.reddit.com/r/JustUnsubbed/comments/znco30/just_unsubbed_from_rtwoxchromosomes_women_good/)
"Not all girls" eh? XD
MildlyShadyPassenger: LOL.
It's adorable that you think finding a single post a man was triggered by constitutes a trend, and pathetic that *this* is your threshold for "an attack on men".
Zeronality: Ah yes, Men bad in every way.
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
Oh wait: Lesbians are more violent with each other: [https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/if-youre-not-stragiht-youre-at-higher-risk-for-domestic-violence-180949988/](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/if-youre-not-stragiht-youre-at-higher-risk-for-domestic-violence-180949988/)
MildlyShadyPassenger: Where did I say that? Where did *TwoX* say that? Have you lost track of the conversation?
What does domestic violence rates is lesbian couples have to do with you asserting that TwoX is nothing but misandrists?
*Your* premise is that TwoX is obsessively man-hating. You linked a post that **A** man found offensive, which was largely discussing how society as a whole failed men by focusing *exclusively* on empowering women to correct the power imbalance. The top comment on the thread *you shared* says as much. Pointing out a lot of lesbians hit their partners is about as relevant as pointing out Mars used to have water on it's surface.
Zeronality: >Where did I say that?
"It's almost like there's a common source of the majority of violence *anyone* is likely to suffer from... "
I know introspective is hard. But maybe listen to the other posters experiences here and see how that echo chamber might be SLIGHTLY misandrist. If you don't believe me, listen to the others here mate.
MildlyShadyPassenger: Weird that you have in this very thread tried to claim a statement you explicitly made about all women wasn't *really* about ALL women, but when I make a statement that conspicuously *doesn't* target all men (you know, because it would *have* to be excluding the men who were victims of other men at the very least) it's suddenly a sweeping and irredeemable blanket assertion about every man on Earth.
Let me guess, you frequently use \#NotAllMen unironically.
Zeronality: When did I say all women mate?
I said the sub is shit and that is it lol
MildlyShadyPassenger: Sure thing bud.
Because they \*checks notes\* picked a side in a civil suit you don't personally agree with and one guy one time got his feelings hurt.
Gotcha.
Zeronality: Because of numerous reasons stated in this thread before.
Many agree so I don't really need your validation. If, you're blind to your own biases, your loss. xD
| 14 | 1.5 | |
1674366211 | 1674370305 | t3_10ic9s5 | t5_2to41 | 10 | BubblyBrookieCookie: TIFU by being friends with my ex of 4 years
My ex (35 male) and I (25 female) broke up in September (after four years together), however we continued to fuck through November, when we finally moved out of our apartment (it was more convenient to wait to move and we decided friends with benefits was okay)
He brought his date in tonight to a bar that I and my sister occasionally work at. I worked their full time for two years and recently just started working there as needed. All my friends work there. I work there when they ask me to.
We broke up because we have different ideals for our future. We talked about continuing to be friends. This was the fuck up. I thought we could maintain a friendship and eventually see new people.
We send each other snaps of our cats daily. We talk a few times a week. Two days ago, he asked me if someone I knew could get him antibiotics because he was sick. He has had ample opportunity to tell me he was seeing people (I even started to suspect even though he denied it). He could have taken her to a different bar. Our town has many different options.
I'm not upset that he is dating. I'm upset that out of all the places they went, they went there. I did yoga with their server this morning. The bartender was my sister. This is the one place I go for drinks after work.
I said hello. I shouldn't have. She complimented my shirt and was incredibly sweet. I sent a text to him apologizing for making it weird. He said he was worried this would happen. I said maybe we shouldn't continue to talk since he is seeing people. He said no that's fine. I know it isn't fine.
I'm probably overreacting. I should have known this would happen. I just didn't expect it to happen in my safe space. He obfuscated the truth in our messages but was probably trying to be nice. But then why did he bring her here?
&#x200B;
I know this happens every day, but I feel better talking into the void. Thank you
&#x200B;
TLDR: My ex and I have tried being friends. He brought a date to the bar my sister and I frequent and work at and now I am heartbroken all over again.
ZeroBrs-: Just think of it this way atleast you know instead of being stuck in a phase of not knowing and waiting but I'm sorry that sucks. 😥
BubblyBrookieCookie: Thank you
ZeroBrs-: Sorry
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1674366392 | 1674406786 | t3_10icbjx | t5_2to41 | 8,974 | Xaxxus: TIFU by causing my girlfriends cat to have existential crisis
Today we were watching YouTube.
We decided to watch a video of the cat island in Japan. One of the cats in the video meowed which caused my GFs cat to immediately look at the TV, and thus see another cat.
It ran over and started meowing like crazy watching the cats on TV.
I felt bad because it’s an indoor cat and doesn’t have any other cats around, so I switched to a bird video to entertain it.
*meowing intensifies*
After about 15 min of this we turned the TV off went to the dining table to eat dinner.
As we were eating, the cat was standing in front of the blank TV, meowing and trying to get up onto the TV stand. Not sure if it wants us to turn it back on, or if it’s sad because it doesn’t have any cats to hang out with. Judging by the sound of the meows, it sounds like the later.
TL;DR watched a cat video on YouTube. Now my GFs cat has an existential crisis/potential YouTube addiction.
EDIT:
I know we should get a second cat. There’s a few problems:
1. the cat is really old (15) not sure if that would stress him out in his old age.
2. the cat lives with my GFs mom. And she doesn’t want another cat.
3. our landlord doesn’t allow pets, so we can’t bring him to our place and get another cat.
He is well loved and gets lots of attention though. I’m currently saving for a down payment so I can actually buy a place (hopefully by end of 2023). We might be able to get a second cat at that point.
-holdmyhand: Dude, the cat needs some friends. The cat is contemplating life.
elKuro_: Yeah. The cat must be depressed and very lonely that she's crying her heart out. Just like us humans, at some point we need a friend to talk.
d4everman: When we first got married we had one cat. We felt that she was lonely when no one was home so we got another cat.
Your cat needs a friend. Get another cat.
Sleepysapper1: My wife and I got one cat in September. Now we are debating going to look at some kittens at a cat cafe tomorrow. I really do want him to have a friend but two cats makes me kinda nervous.
Sarahspry: My husband found two kittens in the engine of a car at work. He brought them home and our cat became the best adoptive daddy cat in the world. He taught them all about being cats
https://preview.redd.it/026008eijnda1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=ded58b5a97e5ba2b6083d9b5aeccfea1484a38e5
Left to right: Dr. Victor Von Doom, Super Rare, and Rare.
i_despise_among_us: In the engine of a car? How does that even happen?
earbud_smegma: They crawl up in the spaces under the hood, get snuggled in, and then everyone is surprised when you get a few miles down the road and your car starts to meow
Mateorabi: Alternatively they are aspiring r/catmechanics
Kenny070287: subset of /r/catswithjobs
PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL: nokitty wants to work anymore
| 11 | 815.818182 | |
1674325972 | 1674396802 | t3_10hy08o | t5_2to41 | 41 | heretobrowse_: TIFU by lighting candles in my bathroom
Background: i always kept my hair short, but recently decided to grow it a bit. So not really used to have median length hair.
Last night I deep fried some food for dinner. Afterwords I realized my house smells like oil, so I lighted up some scented candles in each room hoping to get rid of that smell. Two hours later I went my bathroom sink to wash my face. That’s when I heard fire sounds and I saw my hair was on fire in the mirror. That’s when I realized I put a candle right next to my bathroom sink.
Next thing I know is me cleaning up burnt hair and charcoal that my hair turned into in my sink.. n my house smells burnt..
Yes there were a lot of burnt hair n charcoal but after I clean myself up and showered I honestly cant tell much difference so I guess that’s good.
TLDR: lighting candles in my bathroom n forgot about it, later lead to my hair on fire.
N7_Hellblazer: When I had long hair I set my hair on fire with a lighter. Accidents happen and you learn from them. I’m just glad the burn wasn’t worse for you.
heretobrowse_: Im sorry to hear that! Were you hurt?
N7_Hellblazer: Luckily only my fringe. Hurt my hand putting it out. Lessons were learnt that day.
heretobrowse_: It’s a lesson for the both of us 😭
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1674323492 | 1674460581 | t3_10hx0kf | t5_2to41 | 46 | genocidenite: TIFU By trying an edible for the first time in my life
TL:DR: Took an edible for the first time in my life thinking it was 10mg. Turned out 200 and had a bad time.
So me start with this happened last week.
I've been hearing friends of mine casually taking it. They been getting good trips is the right way to say it. Helped them to relax, creative, and be more social-able. Furthermore, my parents are huge stoners. My step dad will have withdraws.
Me on the other hand? I've never touched a joint or even a cigarette. I don't do vaping or anything. I don't even drink. In my younger days, I was very close minded on those sort of things and now I'm older and more open minded. I've decided to try it. They give me a gummie.
Man was the taste trash. I was thinking a bite here or there right. Taking slow but my parents push me into the whole thing. Me, being ignorant af decides to do it.
At first it was great. I gotten the giggles and I become very sociable. I could talk and talk. I'm introverted and don't talk or laugh much. I'm having fun for the first time in a long time. Then I started trippin balls man. I started see weird shit man. One point everything just seemed like it frozen in time. Then it just started going south. I begin having wicked racing thoughts. It was like my adhd and anxiety gone up x10. It was bad man. I couldn't stop thinking or slow down. I started moving my body all over to help cope. I was stomping my feet and flinching and this was the majority of the time now. I tried to lay down to sleep it off but couldn't. Even with my eyes closed I was seeing weird shit. Paranoid. If anyone knows Naruto, it was like being stuck in Itachi genjutsu on Kakashi but in a paranoid state. This lasted until the effects fade off. It was a bad time, I thought I made myself permanently stupid. When I try to think properly it lasted only for a few seconds. I was scared and had to get my cousin to come over and check up on me. My parents? No they were laughing their asses off. I've gain a new fear and ptsd from it.
Later I found out it was 200mg. I was thinking it was like, 10 or something. :| 2/10 experience.
TL:DR: Took an elible for the first time in my life thinking it was 10mg. Turned out 200 and had a bad time.
99999999999999999989: Your parents were asshole for two reasons:
1. Encouraging you to take more than you wanted to the first time ever
2. Not babysitting you through a bad time
genocidenite: Yeah that's the consensus. I ain't touching anything from them anymore.
tux832: sorry that happened to you. thats pretty much overdosing : (
| 4 | 11.5 | |
1674295039 | 1674442552 | t3_10hnss0 | t5_2to41 | 153 | AxonSorcery: TIFU by not waking up my girlfriend
This just happened.
So a little context, my girlfriend pulled an all nighter Thursday night. She is in a difficult class that had a quiz close at midnight. This is one of her last classes before she applies to grad school, so she really needs to do well.
Last night around 6, she came over to my place, said she wanted to take a nap but needed to do the quiz first. I told her “oh no don’t worry, the quiz is super easy, I’ll just wake you up”. Well, the hours pass, and around 9pm I had nothing left to do for the day so I just crawled into bed with her for a second. I had no intention of falling asleep, but that’s what happened.
Well, fast forward to now, I wake up at 2 am to take a piss, she wakes up and realizes what time it is. In my half awake stupor I now realize I forgot to wake her up, try to comfort her and apologize and she pushes me away. Then she quietly says “no way I’m getting an A now” and leaves the room. The professor is a stickler and will not reopen a quiz for any reason.
Now she’s in the bathroom crying and I’m just sitting here trying to figure out how the hell to fix this, and I probably can’t.
Tl;Dr Told my girlfriend I’d wake her up to take a quiz, forgot, fell asleep, quiz closed, and now she’s upset.
I’ve never felt so useless.
Scarboroughwarning: What kind of teacher has a quiz at midnight? Is she doing an astronomical course?
rellimca: The quiz closed at midnight, so it was open to take for an unknown amount of time prior to midnight.
Scarboroughwarning: Ok, it's on her then
Nashville13: No, and probably won’t be for a long time
Scarboroughwarning: Damn... Predictive text. I meant ON her
| 6 | 25.5 | |
1674141256 | 1674261889 | t3_10g45wx | t5_2to41 | 908 | tits-and-tents: TIFU by changing my name on my credit card
TLDR at bottom, obligatory on mobile etc.
I’ll start this off by saying I got married at the end of December and recently received my marriage certificate in the post.
This FU happened about an hour ago. My started off pretty normal, although I had about 4 hours of sleep last night.
I got up early to walk the dogs then got ready to go to uni for 9am did the food shop, and went home and prepared to go for a nap.
Before I napped I decided now would be the right time to change my information on my credit card for a certain buy now pay later / pay in three company. I had already changed my usual bank details the week before so thought it would be easy.
Luckily this company has a live chat feature that you can use to change details, or if you have any queries. It starts off pretty normal, all I’m asked before speaking to an agent is why I’m messaging them. (Which is for my last name to be changed.
I get put through to someone called Amritesh. Conversation is as follows.
Me (AKA Silly Head : Hello, I have recently gotten married and would like to change the surname and email on my account if possible please
*Amritesh : Hi Silly Head, I'm Amritesh, I hope you're doing well. I am happy to help you today. Please allow me a moment to go through your query.*
Me : No problem
*Amritesh : I understand you have the concern about your surname and about the email please dont worry I will surely look into this.*
*In order to proceed with changing your surname and email could you please help me with any one in date documentation from the following-
1.Valid Passport
2.Valid Full UK Driving Licence
3.Valid Provisional UK Driving
Licence
4. Marriage certificate
5.Deed poll certificate*
At this point I open up my camera roll as I had taken a photograph of the certificate when I received it in the post. Upon opening my camera roll the first 4 or so photos are nude photographs, so I scroll past them to go to where I want to be.
As I was scrolling down my stupid fat finger must’ve touched one of the dirty photos and my screen went back to the chat.
Surely the app will ask me if I want to send the photo my stupid sausage finger touched? **NOPE.** Without any chance to delete said photo or go back, it is staring right at me on my screen.
I immediately press the ‘end chat’ button. Surely this did NOT just happen? It wasn’t even just a normal titty shot, it was a full side body nude.
I call my husband straight after. He thinks it is absolutely hilarious, and we start chatting about when he’ll be home etc since he’s at work (self employed). While this is going on I head back over to the chat to screenshot and show him the messages when he gets back and see that I have around 4 new app notifications.
At this point I go back to the app and it opens to a message asking if my issue was resolved and a thumbs up and thumbs down button. After this a new message reading :
*Welcome back, Thank you for contacting* ******( idk if I can mention company on this sub) My name is Mahboob, I'm happy to help you today!*
*I'm sorry your previous chat with my colleague was interrupted. Please allow me a minute to read the chat history to understand your issue better so you do not have to repeat your concern.*
Me on phone : ohmygodthechatisstillthere!
*Mahboob : Thank you for waiting. Please allow me 2 minutes to check what best I can do in this case.*
*Please share the right information for which we have asked.*
I repeat all this to said husband and hang up, immediately apologising and explaining I didn’t mean to send what was sent.
Straight after I went into my photos hid the aforementioned nudies, went back into the chat and send off the correct photo (woohoo!)
*Mahboob : Thank you for sharing the right information.*
After this it was just the usual stuff confirming what my new name and email is, and again apologising profusely.
Husband thinks it’s hilarious that I mistakenly the photo in the first place, and even more so that they restarted the conversation after I ended the chat.
TLDR : sent customer service a nude photo instead of my marriage certificate, ended chat, app thinks I left by accident and another customer service agent contacts me informing me they will go through last chat to see what went wrong. Got original issue fixed. Still feel silly.
Edit - [the convo](https://imgur.com/a/7hqvdxq) if anyone is interested.
Skizzybee: This is unacceptable and not funny.
tits-and-tents: I think it’s quite obvious it was accidental. I left the chat straight away, the company restarted the chat, and I apologised multiple times.
Skizzybee: I read your Convo. That's not an accident you can make and then dismiss as bumbly fingers.
3dFoxw0rth: I've almost accidentally done it several times on Instagram when trying to send photos of my kittens , luckily there u can see and delete before you send
Skizzybee: That's on you. Store your nudes in a separate folder.
3dFoxw0rth: Or maybe don't police ppl and accept accidents f happen? Ofc it's on me , doesn't make it any less of an accident???
Skizzybee: imagine if you were messaging your son's friend to coordinate a sleepover and you "accidentally" sent a dick pic. Your "accident" is going to send you to prison. So, again, store your nudes in a separate folder.
3dFoxw0rth: A lot of times different apps open ur gallery and throw all your pictures together anyways. Doesn't matter if you sort them into different folders . Ur point is so wrong in so many ways , but it's not worth wasting my time anymore.
Skizzybee: Ok well good luck with you carefree dickpicing. For the record if a person is so careless that it's possible to accidentally send nudes to strangers, then maybe they need to put steps in place to make sure that never happens.
3dFoxw0rth: Ur so funny man. ☠️ Care free dickpicing. I don't have a dick. Thx though , means my aura is just that immaculate. It's not careless if you go through and check and delete like I said I have before. Good luck being an unlikeable person 👍
| 11 | 82.545455 | |
1674371189 | 1674440413 | t3_10idm8m | t5_2to41 | 265 | RedKings1028: TIFU by ordering car parts from another state, only to find out that the parts came from a dealership/parts center 30 minutes from my house.
In the last few months, I started fixing up my car little by little. I took it to the same dealership I got it from, about an hour away from my house, and had it tuned up there first, then took it to a body shop owned by a close family friend, and had the exterior fixed, the paint restored, the dents fixed, and got the car to look somewhat like new. The only thing left was the interior, and that is where I f’up.
I for some reason, stubbornly wanted to use OEM parts for this personal project. I initially was going to buy the parts I needed from the very same dealership I got the car from, but the prices were a bit too high for me, so I went online and looked for the parts I needed. After some searching, I found a site where the parts are reasonably priced. The store is an auto parts center in the Carolinas, I live in the West Coast U.S., the shipping and handling plus taxes costed around $25, it was good enough for me, so I placed the order. After a week of waiting, the parts were delivered this afternoon. As I was unpacking them, inside the box was a shipping label, and to my surprise, the auto center I ordered the interior parts from, got the parts from a dealership 30 minutes from my house, literally in the same zip code. Basically the parts were procured from the west coast, put in a new box in the Carolinas, and then shipped back to the west coast all in the same week.
I could’ve saved $25 in shipping, handling, and taxes if I had just looked around first, instead of going online immediately, and all because for some reason I can’t explain, I wanted OEM parts.
TLDR: ordered some parts for my car, only to find out the parts came from a supplier 30 minutes from my house.
ulose2piranha: That's pretty funny.
Just out of curiosity, what kind of car are you working on? If it's a classic or something exotic, I could see wanting OEM parts, but if you're just talking about a Honda sedan or Dodge minivan, what's the point of OEM interior parts? Are you hoping to resell it soon?
RedKings1028: it’s a 2010 Camry that I had for a long time. I wanted to restore because 1) getting a new one is not advisable for now, 2) I’m gonna give it to my sister when she starts college next year, I want it to be in good condition when I hand it to her.
Pizza_PRSX: What a good brother you are, i hope you succeed in your restoration king
RedKings1028: Thanks, it’s on its way. Hopefully I can get a new one at the end of this year
| 5 | 53 | |
1674119228 | 1674134150 | t3_10fx57a | t5_2to41 | 7,296 | Human-Implement9586: TIFU by getting circumcised as an adult
This happened in April 2022. I was having slight issues with the frenulum part of my penis being too tight not allowing for comfortable sex. I saw a GP and she referred me to a private circumcision clinic. They were more than happy to get that piece removed so the issues would stop moving into the future. They also suggested circumcision with this procedure as it was a common surgery to do at the same time. I hadn’t even thought about circumcision unless it was for cultural reasons so I started researching it and agreed to the procedure.
The next appointment was a dual appointment including consultation and surgery on the same day. After I was prepped for surgery I was curious and started watching the doctor and nurse do their thing after the local anaesthetic shots. They marked how much skin they were going to remove and it was shocking. Half of the entire skin on my penis was marked and knowing they are the experts in the matter I didn’t bring anything up and let them complete the surgery.
I remember struggling everyday with the head being extremely sensitive to the touch of the underwear.
After I healed up properly for sexual activities which takes about 6-8 weeks (8 weeks for me), I was finally interested in trying out my new anatomy. I had a look and became erect, to realise there isn’t any loose skin to be able to use to do the deed. I searched online and there was very little information that I was taking in at the time. Here I am frantically trying to pull my non existent foreskin back and forth and having no idea how it is possible to masturbate without one. I ended up finding a lot of lotion and being extremely gentle until I finally worked out that you need lubricant if you have had a circumcision. I felt so stupid as the doctors said there wouldn’t be any big changes.
TLDR: was circumcised for a penis related issue, healing was painful, the head rubbing the underwear was unbearable, and I forgot how to masturbate. Sorry if this is poorly written it is my first time sharing this fu with anyone. Overall would not recommend getting your foreskin sliced off as an adult it is very painful and changes your penis drastically.
marinewillis: My dad fought tooth and nail to stop me from getting one when I was in grade school. I saw all the other kids weren’t like me and felt different. I thank god everyday he took a stand. He told me my outlook would change as I grew up. And that really most American boys at that time were the ones that weren’t normal and also that my partners and sex life as an adult would thank me also. True in all counts. It’s a fucking barbaric procedure that except in certain instances isn’t necessary, especially considering most people shower frequently now.
Durban_Knight22: How is it barbaric if it helps you enjoy better sex, feels better for both you and your partner and you have a lower chance of STI infections?
-Raskyl: Because everything you said, literally everything, is wrong.
Durban_Knight22: Please Google difference between cut and uncut and then link that article to tell me how being uncut mean you are susceptible to the same % of STI's as being uncut?
-Raskyl: Oh, I know the difference. My parents were smart enough to not pay a doctor to cut part of my dick off.
Being circumcised will *not* prevent you from getting sti's and its fucking dangerous to insinuate it will.
Durban_Knight22: I never said that being cut will prevent STI's. However being cut does lead to roughly a 50-60% reduction in the chance of you contracting something.
I swear all you guys can't think.
-Raskyl: Hahaha no it doesn't.
Durban_Knight22: Okay. Read this, and then tell me that it doesn't lower your chances? [proof](https://www.healthline.com/health/mens-health/circumcised-vs-uncircumcised#risk-of-infection)
-Raskyl: Lol, an article from healthline!?!? Please tell me that's not actually your source.....
They are known for not checking or citing sources. Using Language from promotional advertisements when writing articles about medications. Reporting unvalidated things as medical "news" even they knew it wasnt validated, implying clinical applicability for things that had not been scientifically validated and more. It's basically a science tabloid.
Durban_Knight22: Then research it yourself. Instead of just talking kak.
-Raskyl: I have, that's how I know you're wrong.
Durban_Knight22: Then please provide evidence to support your claim. Please. Because every single source I have seen provides evidence to the fact that cut leads to a lower chance of contracting STI's
-Raskyl: Not by 60% though, and all you have to do to prevent it is wash your dick after sex.
The cdc has an article that says it *might* reduce chances of contracting an sti by *maybe* 30%. They also say that the medical benefits are not enough to recommend circumcision as a practice, but they are enough to not *stop* people from doing it. Basically they day it doesn't matter one way or the other.
But reducing your chance of getting an sti by 50-60%?!?!?! That's just hilariously incorrect. And a dangerous rumor to spread. That will just lead to.more sti's being spread because circumcised idiots will be like "nah baby, I'm circumcised, can't get or give sti's, thumbs up."
Durban_Knight22: So firstly you are contradicting yourself, and secondly, the fact that you don't want to link any evidence to support your claims is all I need to know you're just taking my comments personally.
Enjoy your day.
-Raskyl: Lol, use Google you idiot. I named the source. If you aren't intelligent enough to put the two together. You definitely aren't smart enough to be giving out medical opinions.
Durban_Knight22: And as someone who can't provide evidence I very much doubt that there is sufficient brain cells in that thick skull of yours to present a logical argument. And I never said I was giving medical opinions. But if I'm unqualified then so are you.
Enjoy the trail of dissatisfied women you leave behind with your small mind mentality.
-Raskyl: Lol, you can't Google "cdc and circumcision"? You can't put that query together? Oof.
Durban_Knight22: https://preview.redd.it/ieiyaks6i1da1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=912a87636ab3562d87005f64539b9646aae1c631
I would to highlight how wrong you are. As evidenced from your own article jackass.
-Raskyl: So, I see a lot of numbers in the 30% range. A lot closer to 30 than to 60. And actually read the article, smart guy.
Durban_Knight22: Arguing with you is like trying to explain to a dead person why they are dead. Next time don't get your kickers in a twist when you can't support your own argument.
-Raskyl: So, you didn't read the article?
Durban_Knight22: And it evidenced saying it was a 50-60% less chance of contracting HIV
-Raskyl: *over time*
That being the key fucking phrase.
It doesn't mean you can fuck someone with hiv and have a 60% less chance of getting it.
It means over the years, those people had less instances of contracting hiv.
But considering they weren't circumcising people and then having them fuck hiv+ people. That data in particular needs to be taken with a huge grain of salt. Because all that means is that uncircumcised people had more sex with hiv+ people. Not that being uncircumcised was *why* they got hiv.
Understand?
| 24 | 304 | |
1674375822 | 1674391818 | t3_10iesxt | t5_2to41 | 381 | MementoMori22: TIFU by sneezing and ending up in the hospital
Obligatory it happened last night but I’m still in the hospital.
The past couple of days I’ve been feeling a little under the weather, nothing bad, but some pain in my head when I coughed or sneezed, I thought nothing of it.
My boyfriend was away so I had the apartment to myself, and I had everything ready for a cozy night in to myself. Put on a movie, felt a sneeze coming… aaand BANG. My head felt like it exploded. Everything started spinning. It was so painful I couldn’t do anything but lay down and groan. Called my parents who quickly got there and took me to the ER. I vomited copious amounts and could barely speak. Couldn’t look at lights.
They quickly did a ct scan of my head but couldn’t find anything. They say they can’t completely rule out a tiny bleeding in my bran so they’ll do a lumbar puncture. I’ve never had migraines, but it could be that too - but offset by a sneeze?
For reference, I am 29F and otherwise healthy, but apparently so frail that a sneeze landed me in the hospital. FML
TL;DR: I sneezed, my head felt like it exploded, and they had to check for brain hemorrhaging. Now I’m scared of sneezing.
Update a few days later. Turns out it’s been a debilitating sinusitis, where I’ve been in constant excruciating headaches for days. I’ve only felt one worse pain in my life, so this was horrible. Looking a little better now. Thank you all for your well wishes and sharing your stories!
mroboto2016: While I didn't have a brain bleed, as far as I know, I caught Covid at Xmas, and started to feel better. Still a lot of coughing and sneezing.
Then I got a nose bleed that lasted for almost a week, I went to the ER 3 times. Still bled all over hell. I swallowed so much blood my stools were black. They put an inflatable stopper up my nose (hurt like hell), but that got sneezed out. I couldn't sleep even with my head raised before I gagged on blood.
I finally got it stopped with little toilet paper "tampons." Major blood clots. I felt so exhausted and just drained (literally) afterward. I'm still coughing and have a runny nose. It could have been worse I guess.
freemason777: Do you have anemia or did you just keep reopening the cuts or what happened?
mroboto2016: They took a blood draw so I think if it was anemia they would have said something. They looked up my nose and couldn't see the bleed. I must have ruptured a vein way up there from sneezing so hard. It was really frustrating.
sno_pony: Suprised they didn't give you cocaine or similar to stop the bleed
Crank2047: Beg your pardon?
sno_pony: It's used in a professional medical setting to stop nose bleeds as it constricts blood vessels. Also used in sinus surgery.
Crank2047: Ahh interesting. How do they administer it?
sno_pony: It's a nasal spray solution
Crank2047: Cool, thanks!
| 10 | 38.1 | |
1674097314 | 1674153826 | t3_10fqnmy | t5_2to41 | 1,828 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching porn so loud that someone called the cops
[deleted]
Draegin: If it makes you feel any better I have my own story. My wife was cleaning our cars out (detailing is a passion of hers). Since she was out for a while, I decide it was the perfect time for me time. I’m watching ebony girlfriends and they’re getting at it hard. Suddenly my sound disappears and I haven’t the slightest idea what’s happening when I realize it’s blue toothed to my car. I panic thinking she’s hearing a standing ovation wondering what I’m watching when I remember I had turned the volume down the night before. Pretty sure I nearly had a mini stroke while attempting the stroke lol
Maxalite: This is how I found out my roommate in college was gay. He had a car that for some reason would show on the little screen the last thing you listened too if you were connected and I borrowed his car. The only thing I saw when I went to connect my phone was “pornhub.com/twinksfucking ( or something like that)”. Never mentioned it to him
PsychNeck_Ash: Honestly I would have asked for a bro job if he was ok with it...
[deleted]: He fucks twinks not fat ass Redditors.
PsychNeck_Ash: Ass is an ass😉
[deleted]: You're definetly an ass
PsychNeck_Ash: Dude its a joke😑
[deleted]: I know. Nothing personal, I just couldn't help myself from saying that.
PsychNeck_Ash: But I'm hurt😔
[deleted]: Life is hard
PsychNeck_Ash: 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😢😢😢
[deleted]: 
PsychNeck_Ash: I wish you pain...you with a heart of rock...no empathy😭😭😭
[deleted]: Come on, I offered you a tissue. If you keep crying I'll give you a reason to cry.
PsychNeck_Ash: You are rude...I thought I got a chat buddy, but now😭😢😥
[deleted]: What made you think that? The fact that I called you an ass?
PsychNeck_Ash: Now you are calling me foul things😭😭😭...The world is a cruel place😢😢😢
[deleted]: I told you so
| 19 | 96.210526 | |
1672540876 | 1672587767 | t3_100a1oj | t5_2to41 | 41 | Tobi_tried_2_times: tifu by cleaning my room
Okay so, I wanted to clean my room after a long depression phase.
I was at it and just threw everything that I wanted to keep onto my bed.
After I cleaned all the shit out, I went to sort the other stuff into shelves and drawers. I went to sleep and here's where the fuck-up comes.
I don't have a mattress on my bed, just preference ig.
A dart got stuck between the panels. I slept and woke up because of a sharp pain. Touched my face and was bleeding like hell.
Immediately turned on the light and looked in the mirror.
I dragged the dart across my face with the sharp end. It's metal btw.
Now I got a real deep wound from my forehead down my eye.
At least I didn't stab my eye out.
TL;DR cleaned my room, forgot something in my bed and cut my face.
Nandabun: How do you sleep. Mattress is the soft part of the bed. Do you sleep on a box spring? I'm so confused..
Tobi_tried_2_times: it's like a normal bed, just without the matress, so I sleep on the slatted wood frame. It's the most typical type of bed here in Germany.
KnutSkywalker: My dude. Go to Ikea and get a mattress. The guys and gals over there will help you nicely finding one in your price range but more importantly one that supports your body correctly. It will change your life getting a fitting mattress.
Tobi_tried_2_times: man you're so damn nice, thanks mate
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1672541888 | 1672560008 | t3_100absh | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU By failing to slow down, now I am stranded.
[deleted]
gofatwya: Damn, friend. I wish I could help.
That does suck. I don't usually get worked up about people's stories on here, but that hit a nerve.
I hope someone comes along who is able to help you.
TiredAnnoyed: It’s alright, I’m extremely resilient. I don’t have enough money for both tires at this very second but things in my life just sorta come together eventually. One tire woulda be fine as I have a spare and enough money for one tire.
Either way, last day of the year went out with a bang, two of em literally.
wizardofkoz: check local scrap yards
| 4 | 6.75 | |
1674329380 | 1674348462 | t3_10hzd18 | t5_2to41 | 56 | snacky99: TIFU by not recognizing my wife at my birthday party
So today is my bday which sparked this memory of one of my more cringeworthy f-ups. 13 years ago my now ex-wife, let’s call her Tanya, planned a big 40th birthday party for me at a bar with a large group of friends. The plan was that I would have a drink with my buddy and then head to the venue to meet the wife and whoever else shows up on time to things. We have a drink or two and walk down to the bar and go inside where we see a small group of friends. We walk over and start chatting and in the group is a woman with a clipboard who is smiling at me in a flirty sort of way, presume she works at the bar. So we are all just shooting the shit and I’m chatting with the flirty gal with the clipboard when after a couple of minutes she looks at me and goes “MY NAME, it’s me, your wife, Tanya.” Unbeknownst to me she had gone to Nordstrom that day and had one of those complete makeovers…fortunately no one else recognized her either but as her husband of 5 years I probably should have figured it out… And then 6 months later she left me for a CrossFit instructor.
TL/DR: Wife (now ex-wife) threw me a bday party, got a makeover the day of, and I failed to recognize her and soon after she divorced me
freemason777: I don't know why the hell she would wear a disguise and then get mad when the disguise worked
FG88_NR: She wore her hair up and put on some markup, it's not like she cosplayed as an alien or something.
freemason777: She literally changed her appearance enough that her own husband and all of the other people in the room couldn't recognize her. If that isn't a disguise then what is
FG88_NR: You actually think her friends that she was with when OP got to the bar had no idea who the woman was? You're as stupid as OP if you really think that.
freemason777: If you had read the original post you would have read the line "fortunately no one else recognized her either" please read the original post before talking to me further about it
| 6 | 9.333333 | |
1672546868 | 1672552755 | t3_100bp1x | t5_2to41 | 33 | Emergency_Part_1991: TIFU Took a 23 and Me now my mom says she was raped…
[removed]
SamizdatGuy: I think you have to ask him.
Calahad_happened: His response may tell you a lot, apart from the content of his words.
If he receives the accusation calmly and denies it smoothly, I’d be hella suspicious. I’d also be watching for “protests too much.”
Whatever happens, you may need to reconcile yourself to fact that you might never know what really happened - not just regarding this event, but about your mother in general, the events leading up to your conception, and the childhood that made her who she was. She sounds like a hurt person who hurts people, and in the end, there’s usually only one thing you can do there: love them from a great distance.
As for the bio dad, a lack of historical clarity may mean you never get to bridge the trust chasm with him - not fully - nor should you. The adults in your life who should have parented you failed you. You’re going to have to parent yourself in their absense.
Emergency_Part_1991: My biggest fear is asking and it being totally untrue. I feel like that type of accusation would wreck an innocent person. And honestly I’ve just lost no matter what I do. If she is lying, I have a mom that cares so little for me she would allow me to believe I come from rape just to save her own butt. And like you said I don’t know how I’ll bridge that chasm with bio dad. Or I have to contend with being the product of rape and the fact that I look like him and so does my son.
| 4 | 8.25 | |
1674386777 | 1674406705 | t3_10ihkp2 | t5_2to41 | -9 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a dumb joke
[deleted]
HotPrior477: She wasn't a good friend. A woman and a man can never be good friends. Biology exists
RealAlecMoney: Incel
HotPrior477: Sorry I'm married, I just know the truth.
Try again.
RealAlecMoney: I’m married as well. I am capable of being friends with a female because I view them as co humans. Not someone who is strictly viewed as a potential romantic or sexual partner. Believe it or not, women and men can have compatible interests that can make them just friends. Weirdo.
HotPrior477: Are you Trans?
RealAlecMoney: Just a respectful human being, bigot.
HotPrior477: Lol. You like calling people names.
RealAlecMoney: More than anything, butt licker.
HotPrior477: And so what if I eat ass? Who doesn't?
| 10 | -0.9 | |
1672549549 | 1672579004 | t3_100cdgd | t5_2to41 | 6,986 | Goku_Ultra_Instinct-: TIFU by calling my cousin's wife a gold digger and getting into a fist fight with my cousin who is in the special forces.
[removed]
lordsandwich021: Did you really fuck up? She seems like a stupid self-absorbed pos, and him immediately resorting to violence when it should be painfully obvious she was instigating points to it being a them problem more than a you problem. I wouldn’t apologize when she was obviously being offensive first.
If everything went as your story goes at least.
Goku_Ultra_Instinct-: Yeah, but I usually don't take insults too badly, sure, I'm pretty low earnings, and I get a lot of flack for working in the mines (us guys up there are usually seen as just idiotic grunts), so you sort of build a thick skin to survive in my area of work.
Yeahmahbah: Funnily enough. Even entry level Mine workers usually make way more than most AJs
Goku_Ultra_Instinct-: Yeah, his base pay is lower than mine, but his hazard pay is insane.
Yeahmahbah: Yeah its almost criminal how low their wages are and they deseve every penny of their hazard pay, Especially considering the long term affects on them. PTSD etc
Goku_Ultra_Instinct-: Tell me about it. Well over half of my family is in the military, and I would say there is only 1 of them who doesn't have PTSD and my BIL even lost a leg from an IED about 4 years back.
Murky-Resolve-2843: So just to be clear you're absolutely fine with him admitting to attempting to murder you because you pointed out his gold digging wife. You don't have to press charges but definitely wouldn't be around him.
Shadepanther: *crickets*
| 9 | 776.222222 | |
1672550368 | 1672612369 | t3_100ckz2 | t5_2to41 | 175 | gassy_guy308: TIFU, best friend, officers wife and sergeant majors daughter
So this is my best friend's story.
Names omitted and locations concealed for obvious reasons.
Anyways, my best friend (M34) and I (M31) are among the peasant enlisted. My best friend is an avid user of tinder. He has made MANY poor life choices, and has had many morning regrets, to the point where I have told him that he is required to have me vet his tinder matches. Well I was home on leave for 13 days. And he, does as he does, hooks up with tinder chicks. He starts sleeping with this one woman who turns out is in an open marriage (or so she claims). My buddy found out at a sports day that she is married to one of the officers in his chain during a sports day when she showed up to watch the officers play a sport against the enlisted (my buddy being on the enlisted team). And she tells him she was there to watch her husband play.
A week later, as I am traveling home, my buddy calls me at 0630 in the morning to tell me about this tinder girl he is sleeping with, while she was upstairs in his bed. He is in his happy place, telling me that he has learned so much about what he likes in the bedroom after sleeping with her. Referring to her as 'bitchyboo' and the like. He's bragging about going back up there and sticking his dick back into her ass, among various other degenerate acts.
As I am just getting home and getting ready to head over to his place, to say hi after not seeing him at all during my leave, he finds out that the tinder girl in his bed, is our sergeant majors daughter.
THFU.
TL;DR
My enlisted best friend fucked the wife of one of his officers, and his sergeant majors daughter.
YoggyYog: i really hope for your friends sake he puts this kind of behaviour behind him, because when this ends, and it will, it won’t end well. You surely know how your superiors would respond if they knew this information.
PM_me_ur_BOOBIE_pic: how?
SFXBTPD: ~~Dishonorable discharge~~ reduction in rank from the service for being a part of an affair. Makes it very hard to get a job.
The army doesnt like it when their soldiers fuck eachothers wives.
S9000M06: He wouldn't get a Dishonorable for adultery. He'd catch an article 15 and get reduced a rank or two. More than likely be denied reenlistment, and that'd be the end of his career. But you gotta commit a serious felony for dishonorable. Like, murder, rape, a massive theft, something like that. At absolute worst, he'd get a BCD.
| 5 | 35 | |
1674259532 | 1674339402 | t3_10hdf73 | t5_2to41 | 183 | Nameless5300: TIFU when I planted stuff on my mom.
My mom and sister have a flight today. They are heading a few states away for a soccer thing. My mom needed a bag. I pointed her to one I've been using for a while. She picked it up and said it felt heavy. I said that's how it has always felt. It has felt that way for about a year. Guess what my dad got me for Christmas last year. Throwing knives. Big ones. I happened to misplace them soon after getting them. I was an idiot. IDIOT. I have been looking everywhere for them. I've checked that bag multiple times. I never found the knives. Today while I was at work my phone started buzzing. I ignored it because I have dirty gloves on while I work. At 4 I got off. I checked my phone. I got a text from my sister. It said:
S: dude ur knifes are in moms bag you let her borrow and now security is all over her
I was confused. I didn't know what knives she was talking about. Then it hit me. The lost throwing knives. I planted weapons on my mom and airport security caught her. I walked home ready to die. I threw my hat multiple times and cursed myself out. I kept growling at myself. I realized I had become that crazy guy walking down the street. I got home, and continued to growl and yell at myself even when I was on the toilet. And then as I was writing this I realized among the knives was a knife given to me by my cousin as well. That is the only knife I'm bummed about losing. It was cool. And my mom and sister made it past security and will get to their flight so it's all good. And my mom seems unsettlingly chill about it all. Here are our messages:
Me: Mother. I have received word about your unfortunate predicament. I'd like to apologize for forgetting where the knives were. I have been looking for them for about a year. I did not conceal them in the backpack. I simply forgot where they were. It was an honest accident. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Mom: Nameless, they were hiding in the liner of the bag. That is called concealed. It's ok, but they are gone now. Remember when I asked you why the bag was so heavy?
Me: Yes. I connected all the dots on the ungodly walk home.
Mom: I connected them while waiting for the US marshall.
Me: Am screaming. Am sorry.
Mom: It's ok, security thought they were pretty cool.
TL;DR... I sent my mom to the airport with knives.
Maniac2112: They usually offer to ship them back to you if you pay the shipping. I accidentally carried a knife through security and they confiscated it. They offered to mail it for like $17 or something but it was a cheap $20 knife so I told them to keep it
itsdylanjenkins: it was concealed in the lining of the bag, i'm not sure this or any airline is going to let the mother fly again. "THEY'RE MY SONS!" is a likely excuse when they aren't *hidden in the lining of the bag.*
RBTropical: I’ve had this happen to me. She’ll be fine.
temporary_tosser: I cleaned out my backpack about a year ago and found 2 knives that had been there for years. One was a cheap little pocket knife, and the other was a small fixed blade knife in a sheath (made to look like a kabar) that I'd put in there years ago. I had flown at least 3 times with those in there, probably more, and never got questioned. They DID pull out my jars of herbal tea & swab them to make sure I wasn't carrying C4 disguised as passion flower.
| 5 | 36.6 | |
1674390087 | 1674397016 | t3_10iih5k | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: tifu by losing my new job
[deleted]
mickdeb: You should look into alcoholic support groups, those may help you get back on track
Neat-Spinach8540: thank you, ill look into them
mickdeb: My brother is a bypolar type 2 with a tendency to psychosis and is currently in a huge manic episode.... I can understand that you do not have necessarily the capacity to fight yourself all of these, especially if you struggle with addictions so look into external help for you, it can be really hard to come to peace with these diagnostics and it can be a real huge work.
If it is not asking too much info, do you currently take antidepressant and lithium or something like this ?
Neat-Spinach8540: I have also had episodes of psychosis in the past which mess with me to this day, but luckily not any recently. It’s so hard to go day to day with this mental illness and know that some of my actions are within my control, and some that are not/are impulsive decisions that i choose, messing up and realizing it’s too late to fix it (like this current one with my past employment) and it hurts a lot
I have been prescribed Abilify in the past which had negative effects on me (I had literally fallen asleep standing up at a job before because of it) and made me feel like a zombie and brain dead. I was prescribed Latuda afterwards which was difficult for me to take because I had to have a certain calorie intake each day before taking it which was a task because at times I can go days without eating (eating disorder and/or poverty would hit hard and I couldn’t afford or have time to acquire a decent meal) which would affect my medication and have me miss dosages. My insurance had expired near the end of last year so I haven’t tried to get medicated again due to expenses and time.
I have come to terms with my mental illness, growing up around a lot of family that displayed the same symptoms and thus lead to abuse at times as a prepubescent, so it was something I grew up around and familiarized myself with and was quick to recognize it in myself but it doesn’t make it any easier sometimes
mickdeb: This seems to be the general conscienscius with this disease... Thank you and i really hope you will find a way to get things back onto track
Neat-Spinach8540: Thank you I appreciate it, i hope so too
| 7 | 8.857143 | |
1672553349 | 1672555392 | t3_100dbee | t5_2to41 | 40 | nosarcasmforyou: TIFU by triggering my first asthma attack in over 10 years during a New Year diner.
This story is a little bit gross, so keep that in mind. Also, obligatory English isn't my first language.
I (F31, visiting parents) have always had breathing issues of all types, but while I had asthma attacks during childhood and my first year in college, I soon got really good at stopping them from happening in the first place. It's not asthma proper, let me say that right off the bat, it's something else that works similarly. Essentially, if I cough for too long, my throat will close up and that's where the inhaler comes into play.
Well, since inhalers are expensive, I simply learned to stop my coughing before it got out of control, which led to the events of today.
Over the last week, I've had throat soreness and a raspy voice. Two covid tests later, I had two negatives and the problems remained. I tried to explain to the doctors that this is caused by a... Well, a mucus plug of sort that gets stuck on the back of my nose, colects bacteria, leads to the symptoms I was having and eventually leads to infection, only to clear off pretty much immediately once the gross mucus plug comes out. I'm no doctor, but this pattern has repeated yearly for a handful of years now, so I was confident in my appraisal and was looking for help trying to get rid of it before things progressed further.
Anyway, since everyone was just making me take covid tests, I decided to take things into my own hands and did gargles, drank copious amounts of warm water, used nasal sprays and the works. Little by little the mucus plug descended until about two hours ago, where I could feel it almost entering my throat.
That's where I, sick and tired of the discomfort, decided to cough like I hadn't coughed in years to try and force it out. I figured I could control my cough before my throat closed off *and* dislodge the evil mucus at the same time.
It was a calculated risk, but boy I'm bad at math.
I coughed and coughed and coughed and the damned thing didn't come out. My throat did start closing off, though, so I decided to go back to the table at the fancy restaurant I was at with my family and just do my breathing exercises.
My breathing exercises didn't work.
What was worse, the damned evil mucus had descended into my throat enough that it was making me cough whenever I tried to talk, so I was just sitting there, stubbornly trying to solve everything by breathing slowly.
It worked, somewhat. I could breath, however little, but that's when my mother realized there was something wrong and we decided to head back home.
On our way, I tried to explain what happened to my mother since my breathing was somewhat under control now, but not three minutes into the car drive home, my throat started closing off for real and this time I couldn't do shit to stop it.
One panicked drive to the pharmacy in which my mother remembered all my attacks as a little girl, and I remembered how my inhaler looked and was called, and I'm back home, drinking warm water to see if that helps me get rid of the evil mucus that has been haunting my daily existence for days now.
PS: I live in Mexico, if the getting the inhaler part seemed a bit confusing to some.
TL;DR: I tried to cough as hard as I could to get rid of mucus clogging my upper throat. Triggered my first asthma attack in a decade instead, and failed at my initial objective.
AhWhateverYo: Ugh. Time to start using allergy nasal sprays to keep your nasal passages from forming the mucus plugs. Thank goodness you didn't die. At least the plug didn't go flying across the dinner table when you coughed. 🙂
nosarcasmforyou: Yeah, the air has been painfully dry lately too (or at least it feels that way going through my miraculously unclogged nose) and I think that's also making the plugs form.
I'm definitely going to keep my nasal sprays close.
That said, the plug flying out would've been evidence. Hard to be told "you only feel like there's something stuck" when the evidence is right there for the world to see.
AhWhateverYo: Have you ever tried flushing your nasal passages with a saline solution? Use a neti pot or a similar device. It works wonders if done properly. It may help that feeling you get.
nosarcasmforyou: I've considered it, but I'm kind of afraid to using any water, particularly since I live in Mexico. Can you buy water/solution to use with it in the pharmacy?
AhWhateverYo: You can buy distilled water, or boil your own water and make a saline solution. I believe you can buy a solution, though I have never looked for it. The instructions for nasal flush kits I have bought always say to use filtered water, boil tap water or use distilled water to make the solution.
nosarcasmforyou: Awesome. Thank you! I'll take a look!
| 7 | 5.714286 | |
1672550832 | 1672571129 | t3_100cp0u | t5_2to41 | 4 | ZombieLHKWoof: TIFU walking into the wrong luncheon
Wonderful time at the luncheon yesterday...But not without mishap!
20 mile ride, little over 40 deg... Yea, we'll take the Trike!
I walked into Oscar's shaking off the cold and started looking around for the usual bunch of misanthropes who only come out of their caves to ride or get free food!
Oscar's was much larger than I expected, and seeing nothing resembling our illustrious biker gang, I continued towards the back. Aha! A side room with a buffet and ppl, this must be it!
OK, take one second to picture this... A large tall bald man dressed in black leather jacket and chaps, classic wallet chain on his hip, walks into a room of about 30 ppl and announces in a loud voice "Is this where the Biker Scum are having lunch?"
**~Dead Silence~**
I look a little closer at the group... older, nicely dressed, genteel...
**Oooops**
A woman near the entrance stutters a little and says "They may be in the back." I apologize profusely and back out of the room.
Did I mention Oscars is a lot bigger on the inside than the outside!
I continue into the dark depths of Mordor... err Oscar's and Bart sees me wandering around hopelessly lost in the shadows and guides me to refuge!
Ah, the room next to the bar, I should have known!
And a good time was had by one and all, despite the plethora of ugly xmas sweaters!
*P.S. By the time they meet again next year the story will have grown into something like "An Ogre sent by Satan himself stormed into our luncheon and demanded we all join the Hell's Angel!"**
TL;DR I pity da fool who can't be bothered to read the story.
fatbluntforcetrauma: ..what did I just read
Critical-Echo-923: cant go wrong with this comment on reddit
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1672554102 | 1672583681 | t3_100di83 | t5_2to41 | -6 | [deleted]: TIFU by escaping the club without paying
[deleted]
Princessroya: You also fucked up by driving drunk.
foxferreira64: Yep, not to mention driving after drinking alcohol. I didn't drink much, only one shot of Absinthe plus a cup of Whiskey mixed with cola, but yes, it still slightly altered my thought process.
ssyl6119: If it altered your thought process, then it altered your vision/thought process when driving. Do better. Call an uber next time, please
foxferreira64: Two hours had passed since I drank at all, I referred to being tipsy and my thought process being altered before losing the card. And the whole lost card with possibility of paying a large amount of money as a fine surely woke me up!
I can confidently say I didn't put anyone in danger, I could clearly see the road and what I was doing. There was a time when we hung out and I felt unfit for driving, so one of my friends took me home instead, and I picked up my car the following day. This time I knew I could drive, and I did drive safely home.
I'm one to complain about accidents and drunk driving, so yeah! Not to mention my car is my proudest achievement, having a car crash or hurting someone is unthinkable.
Won't victimise myself though, I did technically drive after drinking, even if hours later, and also escaped without paying, hence the TIFU!
| 5 | -1.2 | |
1674135714 | 1674220764 | t3_10g1ztf | t5_2to41 | 347 | damndarling: TIFU by sending my friend a condolence message about her Dad dying
So, I saw my friend around the university yesterday so I went to talk to her. I feel like it's important to note that she is very quiet. I asked her how she felt about upcoming exams and she said "oh it's fine, but my dad died Friday morning."
I was (naturally) horrified.
I'm going to just quote pretty much verbatim what we said because the wording is important.
Me: Oh my god that's awful! I'd ask you if you're okay but you're obviously not. Do you have exams coming up? (its exam season here)
Her: Well I went home at the weekend to be with my family, but the uni has given me two weeks off so that's good.
Me: Yeah that's understandable! Well please let me know if you need anything at all, just let me know, I hope you're okay.
We said some more things but that's the rough conversation. Later that day I send her a message saying I'm sorry for your loss, I can't imagine how you're feeling etc etc
This morning I woke up to a message from her
"Hey OP, thank you for the lovely message, but I think there's been a misunderstanding - my dad hasn't died."
...
Turns out what she actually said was she had a deadline on Friday morning, and when she said she went home it was because she was stressed about said deadline and she has two weeks off because she doesn't have any exams like everyone else because of her course type, not because the uni had given her bereavement leave as I had assumed.
I'm not quite sure how we managed to have a whole conversation with neither of us realising we were talking about two completely different things. So yeah a huge misunderstanding but in hindsight, pretty funny.
TL;DR - I thought my friend had told me her dad died. Turns out she said she had a deadline.
Kanniebaal: Me: Yeah that's understandable! Well please let me know if you need anything at all, just let me know, I hope you're okay.
&#x200B;
my advice; dont offer this to anyone that is in any kind of need. Offer concrete help like can i do your groceries, cleaning or whatever. Everyone is already offering help but leave the initiative to the other person. Dont do this because you will never be called
HamsterSweets: It definitely comes from a place of meaning well but you're right. I had people saying this to me after my daughter's stillbirth and then again when my younger son was not growing in utero, then preemie at 28 weeks so my body wouldn't kill him (as it did to my daughter), then in the NICU (of course) for a long time (he's good now; currently holding him while he sleeps). But I never asked for help from anyone because it felt like far too much of a burden. I probably would have been more likely to accept specific help vs "let me know if you need anything."
rengothrowaway: I’m glad you and baby are doing well now. I had to be induced because of IUGR also, but was able to go to 37 weeks.
It was pretty scary.
HamsterSweets: Mine progressed so quickly. Went from weekly scans to twice a week scans to "go in for monitoring" in less than 2 weeks. Then when I got there the hope was to get me to at least 32 weeks but just later that day it turned into "he's going to be born tomorrow." Then he worried them a bit overnight that they brought up the possibility of emergency c-section but luckily we found a sleeping position that kept him stable until the scheduled one. I was so relieved (and exhausted) when I heard him cry that I passed out for the rest of my c-section.
If we hadn't previously decided to be done at 2 kids, we definitely would have stopped after all that. I refuse to go through all that again.
rengothrowaway: That is so scary!
I feel so fortunate I was able to get as far along as I was, and that he was 5lbs at birth. We had very few problems, but it was scary to me how tiny he was. Preemie clothes were huge on him.
I’ve said the same about never doing it again. Luckily we had also agreed on two, and already had one. We are done.
HamsterSweets: I'm glad it worked out! You never expect something like that to happen. And our first had been a totally smooth experience.
I always looked at the positives after he was born and sent to NICU. He was/is alive, he did great (though it took him a while to get the hang of feeding). And his diapers in the beginning were so little! They told me to keep a couple (of the 2nd size he wore; I never got a chance to ask about keeping the first size) and I love showing teeny tiny diaper to people. It's the size of my hand when fully unfolded.
| 7 | 49.571429 | |
1674395937 | 1674512060 | t3_10ik9d5 | t5_2to41 | 8,695 | RaphaelElDiablo: TIFU by sending a poorly thought out snap and ruining my friendship.
I have know who I’ll call “Beth” for around 2 years now. I met her at school and we’ve just been friends. I tried to make moves early on but after getting shutdown we decided to keep it as just friends.
Anyways, onto the story. Following the gym, I decide to head to Chick-fil-A and get some food with one of other friends “Jerry”. While I’m there I’ve been sending snaps to Beth. Nothing crazy just kind of fun, joking around type stuff. Until I send a goofy snap that of Jerry where I say “first date kinda nervous 👉🥺 👈” She responds, saying, “me and my date are just chilling.” She was with her dog. Apparently my brain decided to have a helmet fire because I responded with, “I think your date would be better off with me.” What I was trying to say was that I wanted her dog (I know, kinda dumb, but whatever). What I’m assuming she took that as is that we should be dating, which is not what I meant.
After all of that, I have now been blocked on all socials and my number and I’m assuming that’s the end of that.
Either she really cares about her dog or I’m just an idiot for not thinking of the double meaning behind what I said. I guess I should think more carefully about the implications of what I send💀
TL;DR: Told a girl who sent of snap of her dog saying “me and my date are just chilling” that “her date would be better off with me.” I wanted the dog, she did not see it that way.
Lampadaire345: You've been friends with her for 2 years and she blocks you for that? There has to be more to this story
Luck88: Yeah, if they've been actually friends for 2 years there's no way she would have reacted that way.
FlamingButterfly: Actually you never know with people, sometimes it doesn't take a lot to end a friendship.
Two_Tailed_Fox2002: yep, accidentally pushed a friend of mine once and i'm pretty sure he never actually forgave me for it, until i left boyscouts he was always a bit cold towards me.
a few years ago he was still part of the scouts there and didn't say much to me when i decided to pay them a visit when i was on my way to a friends place....
FlamingButterfly: A friend I trusted and helped a lot ended the friendship once I reached out a lot due to a mental health crisis, it taught me a lot about myself.
Two_Tailed_Fox2002: damn, i'm sorry to hear that...
FlamingButterfly: I had a good sized friend group before that, now it's like 4 people and with me planning to move out of state that's not exactly a bad thing.
sansvie95: My daughter experienced the same thing only now she has zero close friends. It was upsetting because I know how those kids were raised, and abandoning people with no opportunity to try to fix things isn’t it.
Arrasor: If they were indeed raised well and everyone of them hold the same opinion about your daughter, there is something your daughter did you don't know about. You shouldn't try to find out though, it's normal for people to do or say things they regret when they're in a mental crisis then too ashamed to talk about it. Since the damage's already done it's best to just move on.
sansvie95: I know what their excuse is.
I was also shunned by friends during the worst of my depressive episodes in college. The best friends, the ones I could really rely on stayed with me even if they put some distance.
But after, when I had received proper treatment and when I began to heal, all of my friends returned. All of them. They knew my behaviors from before were driven by depression and they knew what they had done to make things worse.
Her supposed friends found out that her behaviors were driven by serious depression combined with a couple of other issues. The situation they said made them leave her ended with her realizing where she had gone wrong. That issue didn’t even affect them directly after they asked her to stop. She went inpatient and then daily outpatient for months to get things under control and heal.
When she came home, all of these kids basically pretended she no longer existed. One finally told her about a secret group chat they’d started and all of the rest denied knowledge when asked. They all lied until she asked one of them privately and directly to tell her what was really going on. The rest never admitted what they’d done, pretending they knew nothing about it.
If you are going to hold someone 100% accountable for things that happened when one was unstable, then have the guts to say so when asked. Don’t pretend they were never in your life. Don’t lie. Own up to your own actions as well. Having compassion doesn’t mean you have to remain friends with someone, but it does require trying to understand and being truthful, even when it hurts.
FlamingButterfly: During COVID I asked friends if anyone wanted to maybe hangout or do a zoom call kind of thing and watch movies. I was told "no one is getting together right now and we are too busy right now to do a zoom calls but maybe in the near future" well the near future became never and after some digging I found out everyone was having barbecues and movie nights without telling or inviting me.
When I asked the friend who wasn't there during my mental health crisis if he wanted to remain friends he went on the attack and tried to make himself into the victim. I thought we would remain adults about it and leave it between us to resolve but instead he talked to every single one of our mutual friends and called me an asshole for attacking him. Some of the mutual friends said "they weren't taking sides" but they stopped responding to my text which means they really were they just didn't want to look like assholes. So now I have 4 friends left but one is out of my town now, two of them are married to each other so I'm just accepting of it and trying to make new friends.
sansvie95: I’m so sorry that happened. All I can say is that I hope that any new friends you make are better. People don’t know how to handle struggles with mental illness - even I have that issue at times. But seriously, can we not be grown ups about it instead of sneaking around and lying?
FlamingButterfly: I just expected him to be there for me since I was always there for him and other friends whenever they needed me. This whole chain of events taught me a lot and is helping push me to look at moving in with my cousin out of state to start off fresh. You would think people would be adults and at least tell you if they are uncomfortable talking about mental health or just tell you they can't help, not lie and constantly rain check you until you make the decision to end the friendship.
cech_: Did you ever find out why they excommunicated you? Just throwing out a zoom call idea doesn't seem like it would break the camels back.
FlamingButterfly: I think it was a slow excommunication that I didn't fully pick up on due to me working a very social job so I kind of kept to myself for a while due to just being exhausted when it came to human contact/interaction.
I was always the friend who would be invited to hangout usually because I would pay for things, my friend group was fracturing for years and I was one of the biggest supporters for it because most of the people would just endlessly bicker and make awful comments to each other. So maybe that played a role in it all.
In no way was it because of the Zoom call, the friend I thought would be there for me and either listen or tell me to get help essentially spread word to mutual friends about how terrible of a person I really was which I couldn't even try to do stop because once I realized it the damage was done. To be honest I am mentally way better off these days, I think in a lot of ways this forced me to realize the issues I had and how I put too much on others rather than dealing with what I had going on myself or getting the proper help through a professional.
cech_: Damn, sounds traumatizing.
I am planning a vacation with friends right now and this whole thread is freaking me out.
FlamingButterfly: Not everyone is like this, I still try to look for the best in people I'm just more closed off now.
| 18 | 483.055556 | |
1672556058 | 1672617095 | t3_100dzbz | t5_2to41 | 699 | [deleted]: TIFU by bringing edibles to a new years party
[deleted]
Cupids_Halloween: You didn’t do anything wrong, you told the person they were edibles and they wanted to and willingly took them. If they never said anything about this being their first time then it’s really not your fault. That person ruined their own night by being uneducated and adventurous
WeekendSpecial1895: I've typed out a reply like four times, and I'm forcing myself to not delete this one.
As much as I get that, the way that I see it, if I hadn't offered to everyone, it wouldn't have happened. I went back in the house at the end of the party and apologized profusely to the person who was starting to come to, and they seemed like the only one that didn't blame me, but their SO genuinely looked like they wanted to physically harm me, the host who I know pretty well, was very obviously upset and uncomfortable.
I am struggling to find a reason to see that friend group for a while. I truly feel like I'm going to be very unwelcome.
Cupids_Halloween: Oh I completely understand how you would feel guilty for even bringing them, but for real it’s on the same level of alcohol. If you’re all adults then it’s like bringing a bottle of something, and them accepting a shot of it. It’s not your responsibility to know anyone tolerance level to anything. I understand how you feel partially responsible though, so I get it. I just really don’t want you to be too hard on yourself. Also, don’t forget to be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there, anxiety is no joke sometimes and the pandemic hasn’t helped at all! lol
Losticus: Seconding this. They're all adults, they're responsible for themselves. It sounds like the vomiter's SO was just lashing out, and you were the most available target, as their partner was unconscious.
None of this is on you.
Traditional_Lack7153: Also, OP mentioned when they came back that the Vomiter’s SO was just sitting there letting them stew in it. What the actual Fuck. That SO sounds a bit off with her reactions to things
Losticus: Yeah. Something is definitely going on there.
Traditional_Lack7153: Sounds like she was deflecting anger she had with her boyfriend onto OP. Edibles generally take a bit to kick in, I’m wondering why this guy didn’t let his SO know he was about to get high. There’s a lot funky shit going on and it’s unfortunate OP took the brunt of it for trying to liven up an adult party
bob0979: Adult party is key here. Op said "In nearly 30 years" meaning at the absolute youngest they're in their late 20s. You don't just accept weed without knowing what it is in your late 20s. This is basic shit. Op did not fuck up.
| 9 | 77.666667 | |
1674398309 | 1674419520 | t3_10il36b | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by repeatedly doing things my gf doesn't like
[deleted]
brainpain152: It sounds like even if she gives you a chance to prove you can be different, you won’t be able to. You’ve clearly disrespected her boundaries on numerous occasions. You need to do some major self reflection and work on yourself before you’re ready to be in any relationship.
substeff: I didn't realize how much I hurt her with my actions. I always thought it would be fine as she was angry with me but after she settled she always said that she is happy that I am here. I am turning 27 this year and I didn't realize that I am still selfish at times that I shouldn't be which I truly regret because she deserves better.
FelixVulgaris: She told you not to do it.
She explained why you shouldn't do it.
She got upset every time you did it.
How do these three things add up to
>I always thought it would be fine
??!??
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1674398705 | 1674455633 | t3_10il81x | t5_2to41 | 389 | aquakitty99: TIFU by washing my hooha with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap giving myself a chemical burn
I (25 F) shaved my vagina and butthole a few days ago. It gave me razor bumps, ingrown hairs, and maybe some acne. Today I royally fucked up by washing my area down there with Dr. Bronner’s Tea Tree Castile Soap. Tea Tree is supposed to be antibacterial so it sounded like a good idea at first. I thought it would help the situation down there, instead I gave myself a chemical burn at my perineum. It hurts so bad. Maybe I used too much or washed too aggressively. It burns while doing nothing. It burns even more when I pee. I put some vaseline on the area and it feels ok for now, but OH MY GOD I’LL NEVER USE DR. BRONNER’S DOWN THERE AGAIN. No sexy time for a little while, I hope it heals soon so I can have s3x again. Grrr. Lesson learned. Never again. Today I really fucked up.
TL;DR
Today I fucked up washing down there with Dr. Bronner’s and it gave me a chemical burn
kakachina: I hope you mean on the outside! Never use any soap even unscented on your hoohah that’s bad!
peacelovecookies: I’m sorry, you mean don’t wash the vulva? The inner labia?
Teni96: You’re supposed to use just water cause anything else can mess up the PH balance down there.
Poemang94: Summers Eve. It's a wash meant for your bits and it's pH balanced for it.
BrightGreyEyes: It's marketed for your bits, but it's not pH balanced for it. It's also not necessary. The vagina is self-cleaning; assuming you're healthy, anything you do to "clean" it just kills the good microbes, making you more susceptible to infections. Some odor is normal. Summer's Eve, Lumi, and all the products like them are built around making people feel self conscious about normal body stuff
Poemang94: That's a false statement. The inside(the vagina) is self cleaning. Outside(vulva) is not. Who told you the vulva cleans itself? Cuz this is what's being talked about in my comments.
Nobody here is saying use these products up inside your vagina to take care of it. Lol
BrightGreyEyes: I know the difference. You're still not supposed to use soap, just warm water. Products like Summer's Eve are basically a "It's best not to, but if you absolutely must, at least use something vaguely vagina safe," thing. Even if you're not soaping up your actual insides, some soap will get in when you wash your vulva. You don't need it, so why spend money with a company that was founded to make people feel bad about their bodies?
Poemang94: I don't really pay attention to that stuff to be honest. I never actually looked into it. I've never felt bad about my body, I just clean all of my body because I thought it was how you do it and so I picked something I believed to be safe.
BrightGreyEyes: That's partly because of companies like Summer's Eve that made people feel like normal vaginal odor was bad. You're lucky though. If I even *look* at a bottle of Summer's Eve or any similar product, I get BV.
I started using it in college when I got BV for the first time because I thought maybe I wasn't cleaning my vulva well enough (I now suspect he just had bad hygiene) and kept using it after. Even though I broke up with that guy and wasn't sleeping with anyone, I still kept getting BV. Eventually, I told my doctor that I was cleaning down there really well so I didn't understand why it kept happening, and she was like "WITH SOAP?!?!" When I said I was using sensitive skin Summer's Eve (no fragrance, dyes, etc), she explained how even that wasn't great and why it was unnecessary. I'm usually pretty well informed about vaginal health, and I had mentioned how careful I was to rinse down there at the end of my shower just incase and shampoo, body wash, conditioner got near that area so I think she thought I couldn't be using soap down there. I happen to have incredibly sensitive lady bits, but it still makes other people more vulnerable to BV and yeast infections. The wipes freak me out even more because you're not even washing it off
Poemang94: Yeah I've been using it since I was 17. I'm 28 now but I've never had any issues whatsoever. I thought I was doing myself good. Well, I've learned something today. I'm gonna throw out all of my Summers Eve stuff. Everything I believed I was doing right was bad. Now I feel a bit sad.
BrightGreyEyes: Don't feel bad. There has been a lot of marketing for a very long time aimed at making people think it's necessary, and the medical establishment isn't always great about communicating about this kind of thing because it's usually not really their job unless it's causing problems. There's also a lot of weird sexism and shame that would take too long to get into here that helps perpetuate these ideas. Blame lack of good sex ed. I took a lot of microbiology, anatomy and physiology, etc and even did some sexual health work, but it still took like 5 rounds of BV for either me or my doctor to realize what was going on.
If it's worked out well for you, then it's probably fine. It also might be weird to suddenly stop (who knows, every body is different), so I'd start by just using it less frequently to see how it goes. I just wouldn't advocate it to others unless it's a "if you absolutely must" situation. I would avoid buying the wipes again, though, if only because they're bad for the environment
Poemang94: Yeah that's pretty understandable. Still know knowing that it's bad for vaginal health and I still think I'm gonna stop it altogether. I don't want to cause problems for myself later. Lol the wipes I only use when I absolutely need to but the wash is a daily thing. So anything to help myself be better about it and the environment, I'd gladly throw them out.
BrightGreyEyes: Since you already have it, I wouldn't get rid of it even if you stop using it down there. The wash and the wipes would actually probably be really good for armpits after intense workouts or hot sweaty days
Poemang94: That is true. Would be a lot of waste.
| 15 | 25.933333 | |
1673910777 | 1673956946 | t3_10dvpzo | t5_2to41 | 1,003 | 0oITo0: Tifu trying to fix my wife's magic wand.
Well this is technically a tifu still in progress but here is the back story. About 4 or 5 years ago I bought my wife a magic wand, she is a nurse and our shifts mean we're not always around at the same time so I wanted to make sure she is satisfied. At first she complained it was a waste of money and didn't touch it, then after a few weeks I got it out during sexy time and she loved it, she was pleased VERY pleased. So much so that it's been in use almost daily since then. I don't mind I still get my turn but the wand is probably my wife's favourite possession.
(Tldr at the end if this is too long)
Recently it's started to get loud, rattling, something is loose or broken inside, also the cord is starting to pull out and the inner wierd are looking slightly dangerous. So I thought I'm a handy man, whirl my wife is off on her night shift I will take it apart and give it a bit of a fix up, how hard could it be. Well here's were the tifu starts. The wand has a rubber cover over the round bit (that your meant to take off and wash after use) I tried to remove it, it wouldn't budge, I could see three screws just under the edge of it but couldn't get to them. I'm trying to work out how to get the rubber off it's a bit crusty around the edges but no matter how much i pull, twist or try to loosen it with a knife it won't budge. I try to think of a way to loosen it so I boil the kettle, and hold the rubber bit into the warm water this loosens the side, but I notice a smell then it dwans on me, my wife's vibrating lover is stuck together with my wife's bodily fluids. I think I've come this far I might as well finish so I pull and it loosens a bit but still won't come off soninpull harder and the rubber rips where it's still firmly stuck onbtge plastic at the end. Ahh crap. At this point I might as well continue so I remove the screws. And pull the end and to open it then I hear a snapping sound. The whole end comes off and won't just clip back. So I think no problem I can just open the rest of it up and put it back together, well if only the gods were so kind. Two screws are stripped and won't turn I can't get the rest of it to open up and I'm wondering what my wife will think when she looks for her vibrating buddy tomorrow. Thankfully I will have left for work before she gets home tomorrow so I have all day to think of a reasonable sounding story to explain how its vanished from the bedroom.
Tldr, tried to fix magic wand, it was grose held together by dried body fluids, now totally broke it and scared to tell my wife.
Update: I told my wife what happened. She is fine and wants to choose the replacement with me.
Arquen_Marille: She needs to clean that after every use. Surely as a nurse she knows that germs build up on it and could give her an infection.
0oITo0: I guess she is honestly too tired at that stage to think of much more than getting off and getting to sleep.
rengothrowaway: Maybe buy her a new one and a box of condoms. She can cover it before use and then just pull the condom off and throw it in the trash and not have to worry about her toy getting nasty. Magnums might be big enough for a magic wand.
chonk_fox89: Honesty most large/extra large condoms should be big enough, they can seriously stretch and remain uncompromised.
Loko8765: There’s a picture with someone who has his whole arm inside a condom, captioned something like “tell me again why you need a condom bigger than this?”
KnowledgeGod: Even if condoms can accommodate an entire arm, may not fit properly for girthy peeps.. I remember not being able to keep an erection cause they were so tight on me my freshman year of college.. didn’t realize they had different sizes.. obviously doesn’t matter for an inanimate object though..
| 7 | 143.285714 | |
1674398322 | 1674400049 | t3_10il3bm | t5_2to41 | 7 | SalamanderDue3131: TIFU when I lied and tried to come clean
TIFU when I revealed a lie I had been hiding.
My roommate is my ex and we were still doing okay, we were very ‘friendly’ with each other and things were fine. But I exposed a lie I had been hiding for what seemed like a few months and according to them turned out to be 9 months! What I lied about: I had continuously fabricated that 1 of my ex-friends were 2 separate people because I had agreed to cut them off because we both felt that they were treating me like a doormat. Nonetheless I didn’t, and I lied about them being 2 separate people. I realize that when they asked questions I would answer them trying to stray away from the fact that they were the same person, but I still continued to lie. I lied about hanging out with them, I didn’t tell them that they came with me to my hometown because I couldn’t afford to go by myself and my grandma was ailing and it was also my mothers birthday. I told them that I lied and they were actually the same person and I had lied because I was scared they would leave (we both have BPD). They took a picture from the exfriends social media and I told them the truth that I took them with me when I went and this is the only lie I’ve told since our early relationship but I told them I didn’t want to lie to them anymore because they didn’t deserve to be lied to. Out side of this I have told them the truth and nothing but the truth, and any questions they have about the situation I also tell the truth. They understandably were extremely upset but I hoped that when I told them I would be able to explain myself and it wouldn’t have gone as bad as it did. They accuse me of either having a relationship, s.x, or leading them on; none of which are true because when I first met them I made it absolutely clear that I only wanted friends because I was working on myself and I refused to even entertain the thought of it and it was never going to happen and I have proof to support that. They also went through my phone and I allowed them to, they took screenshots of whatever they could find and every question about everything I’ve answered honestly. It also became apparent that my exfriend was posting about me on twitter calling me things like their boo which I later grilled exfriend on and told them that this wasn’t okay at all and I want going to reciprocate those feelings. They told me if I had any sense of character left I would cut off exfriend, and I did. I let them know I’ll only be showing up to work until I find a different job, but outside of that that it was best for the exfriend to be away from me otherwise I would probably fuck up their life too. I tried giving them space and we finally had a normal conversation, but I know they are completely heart broken and want me out of the house and out of their sight. I agreed and I told them they could keep the apartment and that I would find somewhere to move to and they later decided they were going to move too. I don’t know how to fix this, I knew they were undoubtedly doing to be upset but I didn’t think it would ballon like this. I’ve tried apologizing and I’ve never told a lie this big and I feel awful about it and agree that it was irrational and stupid for me to lie about in the first place. They are staying at a hotel for the night I believe and have made it clear they don’t want me in the house when they’re not home too and I agreed that I wouldn’t be there without them. I need unbiased help on what tf to do, I’m absolutely shattered but I know that this is my fault entirely.
TL;DR
I lied about being friends with someone me and my roommate agreed I should cut off, lied about them being 2 different people; and finally came clean about it telling them the complete truth.
StoverKnows: Seems like there are mistakes on both your parts here.
You are an adult. Your roommate is no longer in a relationship with you other than sharing living space.
While your lie is both foolish and childish, the response is rather overblown. At least the way you describe the situation.
You both need to figure yourselves out. Your roommate's behavior is not indicative of "just friends" or a roommate relationship. They are trying to be a partner who is betrayed. The reality is that there is no betrayal here. Not to the degree of the reaction. You have the right to see anyone you choose to. Regardless of their overall effect on your behavior. The roommate has no authority over your life other than the rules for the living space.
You have a very poor relationship going on. It's probably best for you to move elsewhere. You won't be able to fix anything as you really didn't do anything terribly wrong. It's all on your roommate and their overreaction.
SalamanderDue3131: It was a lie that dragged on for a really long time, longer than I realized, but I know that when we had our relationship they thought I was sleeping around and talking with other people and I wasn’t doing that either. I realize how stupid my lie is and how far back it went, they accused me of just using exfriend and said that I used them too which also wasn’t true. I know I’m not the best person and I do have my toxic traits, but I thought I was doing better until I realized how big this lie was. I’ve upset them before this big and it took a full year for me to recover from it and we finally did okay but then I did this.
SalamanderDue3131: I also think it’s worth noting that our relationship has had plenty of bumps in the road, the biggest ones always being my fault and it lasted a good 4 years then we were just ‘roommates’
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1672559508 | 1672561270 | t3_100esw9 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my brother that I legitimately couldn't care less about his 5th girlfriend since the start of December.
[deleted]
ScumBunny: Yeah, you messed up and you sound like an AH in general.
‘Look at me with my super important geology job where I dig up rocks, and my stupid soldier brother who isn’t important at all.’
And you showed him just *how* unimportant he is to you. Get back in your ‘truck’ (that’s American slang for truck) and F off back to the mining town🙄
OhNoTheDawnPatrol: Did you miss the 5 girlfriends in one month part?
RevenanceVX: Did you miss the not being an ass to a brother who's telling you stuff he genuinely cares about?
OhNoTheDawnPatrol: If he's had five girlfriends in one month, it doesn't seem like he cares much about any of them.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1672560042 | 1672570650 | t3_100exkb | t5_2to41 | 138 | [deleted]: TIFU: flashing my inlaws on New Year’s Eve.
[deleted]
OhNoTheDawnPatrol: I guess now they know what she sees in you?
Turbulent-Grade-3559: Or in her....
kipha01: Hahahaha 
| 4 | 34.5 | |
1672564115 | 1672646476 | t3_100fvhv | t5_2to41 | 268 | Candid-Indication351: TIFU by spreading roaches around my travels
so my house is infested with roaches. we’ve done everything we can and they won’t go away. it’s to the point where the only way to get rid of them is to move and make sure everything we take is roach free. it’s that bad. we hate having them but we can’t do a lot about them. we’ll i’m also an international flight attendant so i have lots of stuff with me. i’m based in dallas which is 3 hours from where i live so i stay at my aunts when i’m on call or have a flight the following day. it’s nice coming here cause i get a break from the roaches. we’ll i realized i unknowingly slowly started an infestation at their house. i opened my laptop the other day and at least a dozed crawled out and ran away then i realized i use my laptop a lot here and looked in the corner where all my stuff is and there’s roaches in the carpets and on the walls near my stuff. right now my aunt won’t notice they are even there but it’ll get worse. it takes only 5 roaches to start an infestation. then i realized i’m probably slowly infesting hotels all over the world with roaches too. but there’s nothing i can do about it.
TL;DR my house is infested with roaches and i’m a flight attendant. i realized i’m slowly bringing roaches everywhere i go even to my aunts since i stay with her when i work cause i’m based 3 hours away from home.
Edit: none of y’all are following the rules. most of these comments are insults calling me lazy, dirty, disgusting etc when i was just looking for help. please be kind to people in this group. we are most likely looking for help not looking to be insulted.
Edit 2: I also live in an apartment complex. we are clean people and our apartment is never dirty. we got the roaches when our neighbor in the unit next to us moved in. our apartments won’t do anything about them. we also discovered a huge nest in the manhole inside our apartment complex and the apartments, city, and county won’t do anything about it.
MrChaoticGaming: Diatomaceous earth. Now. Spread it. Non toxic to humans, but eats roaches alive, along with various other pests. I have solved multiple infestations with this stuff by itself. Nothing else works. You can order it on amazon or find it at a lcoal home depot or Lowes. Every exterminator i knew, swore by this stuff. It was their go to option for splving roach infestations. The best part is roaches spread it amongst each other and solve your problems for you. Put it EVERYWHERE.
ToeKneeBaloni: Would it poison pets? Or is it natural
MrChaoticGaming: 100% safe. Get to it.
_B_Little_me: Only thing that is not safe about it, is when it’s dusted into the air. Not super toxic but can cause some respiratory inflammation and irritation if you breathe it in when it’s dusted up into the air.
little_loup: Thank you for that! I am going to get some tomorrow based on the advice in this thread because I have been battling Alabama wood roaches for years. My husband has long covid, so I want to make sure to use it in a way that it does not become airborne now. Very helpful advice friend.
Meowsephine78: Make sure to read CDC guidelines on risk of inhalation. I have asthma and still used but wore a 3M Safety 142-6100 6000 Series, Mask while spraying and vacuuming inside. I’m paranoid about my lungs so probably overboard on mask but better safe than sorry.
“Prolonged inhalation of calcined diatomaceous earth may cause silicosis with scarring of the lungs, cough, and shortness of breath.”
[CDC diatomaceous earth inhalation risk](https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/docs/81-123/pdfs/0552.pdf)
| 7 | 38.285714 | |
1674077195 | 1674146297 | t3_10fiv4n | t5_2to41 | 91 | TheShinySquad1: TIFU by buying of Facebook marketplace
I've been looking for an Xbox one x for a while now. I use marketplace because everything is much cheaper. I found one for a fairly good price finally and the bloke told me to meet him at his warehouse. We went to the warehouse (which we were definitely not allowed to be at) and looked for the guy with the Xbox. From then he doesn't answer my messages and we lose all communication. Later on my dad found an eBay advert that we think came from the man who was selling it. I was annoyed about the ordeal as it cost me a lot of time but I carried on searching. I found another lady who was selling her Xbox one x. My dad collected the Xbox and when he got home I went and had a look. To my surprise it was an Xbox one not the Xbox one x. I got in contact with the lady saying we are really sorry but I think there may have been a miscommunication between the two of us could we refund it. She agrees and as we get in the car to take it back we receive a message saying she cannot refund it as it may be a different product to what she sold us(bare in mind we only bought the console a few minutes before so we had no time to switch it). She then sends photo evidence of her original advert which has changed completely from what it was when I bought it. Her uncle who picked up the phone suggest we resell it but there's no way to sell a regular Xbox one for that amount of money without scamming people like what happened to us. I was unsure if I made a mistake but I see now I have been played twice in a week.
Tl;DR Tried to buy an Xbox one X off marketplace and both times was scammed.
Wrestler221: How much did you pay for it?
TheShinySquad1: 120 pounds
Wrestler221: Well 120 isn’t the worst price for an Xbox one I feel like you might be able to resell it for around 110 or so. I’ve seen a couple here in the US listed for around 120 occasionally
TheShinySquad1: I mean it's ok but still a big chunk of money lost. They go for around 60 pounds in the uk
Wrestler221: Damn yeah that is a pretty big difference I’m sorry. Best of luck
TheShinySquad1: Thankyou at least it's working
| 7 | 13 | |
1673986102 | 1674068936 | t3_10em10o | t5_2to41 | 50 | JustpostingAITA: TIFU my looking for "adult videos" on Reddit
So almost two months ago I was feeling down and decided that watching some "videos" will hopefully cheer me up after... I finished. But my usual site had alot of the same content and not what I was looking for at the time so I made the stupid and looked on Reddit for "videos" that i would enjoy. Well I found a clip of a video where I recognized the actress and I checked to comments for a link to the full video. There was a link that brought to a site I've never used before (thinking back now that should've been obvious to not click the link) and after I was finished watching to video I cleared my internet history and went about my way for the remainder of the night. On the 28th I get an email saying that someone bought my email somewhere and that they installed something on my phone (I cant recall what it called but it was Cobalt something) and that they wanted $1238.00 in bit coins to be sent to them. But I am broke as they come, I live off a monthly check that I get from the government and that is my only source of income. So now, they are stalking me in my small town. Its a small enough town that if anyone new appears or if anyone starts acting suspicious most of the town folk will notice. My advice to everyone who reads this, DO NOT USE REDDIT TO LOOK FOR "ADULT VIDEOS"
EDIT: Apparently I do not have enough characters yet so i decided to add that the subjects of the videos I looked for were CNC and hentai (not in the same video though) and now that you know that I'm also gonna add that the email that was hacked isn't connected to any social media accounts or anything really. It was an almost never used email account. And as for the people who hacked my email, they said that they will release some "adult video) search history, but I delete my entire internet history everytime I am done watching "adult videos" and even if they do give that information to the cops, like they threatened to do, I personally know that the police won't do anything. I also wouldn't be surprised if the hackers are watching me type this right now but I know that they can't really do anything besides stalk me and hope that it scares me, but, it is really obvious when they start following me or trying to take pictures of me. Weird part of all of this is the fact that I can see the cops watching me AND them so I wouldn't be surprised to find out that one or more of them was picked up by the police of my small town. And that is my story and the consequences so far, if anything else interesting happens I'll be sure to add an update when I can.
TL ; DR Clicked on a link on Reddit now my email is hacked and I'm being stalked.
soulbldr7: Wait. Are people actually following you in real life?
bybeardandthrone: Of course they arent
soulbldr7: He talks about being stalked multiple times. Watching him, taking pics of him, etc.
bybeardandthrone: Sounds like paranoia based off the fact that they got a scam email. I know a guy who thinks everyone he knows is making fun of him at all times and staring at him at all times because he once got told he was making a scene in an event years ago.
soulbldr7: That's what I assumed, as scam emails don't result in actual people following you so it was either that or he got himself into some real deep shit
| 6 | 8.333333 | |
1672569853 | 1672584529 | t3_100h5st | t5_2to41 | 308 | lulujaune: TIFU by letting my dog eats my fl*shlight b*lls in front of my mom on the new year day
I (31m) live in France with my mom and i'm an active user of a classical vaginal fleshlight.
Few days ago i thought ''YOLO! let's do as they do in porn and let's test another hole!''
So i decided to order an anus fleshlight on Amazon. But, the classical anus ones were all out of stock... Except a special model with balls on it (basically like the back of a male).
Since i wanted it fastly and it could be delivered the next day, i thought ''Nevermind, an anus is an anus ; let's go for it"
The precious fleshlight arrived the next day, i opened it, put it under my bed (my mom respects my privacy but i didn't want her to find it oc) and i just lived my life until i found a special moment to inaugurate it...
Until that night ; after few glasses of french wine and champagne for the new year night with my mom, i had to go to bed.
But.
When i was laying in my bed, kind of drunk, i thought ''what a special moment!''...
So i tested it, anus fleshlight, on the first day of 2023.
Eventually i felt asleep, kind of drunk...
So this morning, after a nice recovering night of sleep, i waked up and went to the living room.... Where i found my little dog, biting the balls of my almost brand new fleshlight, in his couch, in front of my mom......
''he's playing with his new toy for an hour! He loves it''
yeah.... That's what my mom said.....
Now i'm typing this story in my room, bited balls fleshlight in front of me, thinking about how i'll tell my mom that the new toy's dog is broken and i trashed it....
Happy new year Reddit...
TL;DR : tifu by ordering a fleshlight with balls and letting my dog using those balls as a toy in front of my mom on the 1st january.
Critical-Echo-923: let the dog enjoy eating some ass
Grammar-Notsee_: >let the dog enjoy eating some ass
Just use some peanut butter 🤷
ironboy32: What's the story behind this? I've seen it referenced but idk what the reference is. I just need to know the outline, nothing overly specific
Wootnasty: Dogs like peanut butter and will lick anything you put it on.
| 5 | 61.6 | |
1673887964 | 1674333657 | t3_10djiyp | t5_2to41 | 29,612 | I-Passed6789: TIFU- I made fun of a guy who doesn't know how to do laundry.
I started seeing this guy about 3 weeks ago. Let me be clear, we have known each other for a long time because he was a friend of my cousin. He asked me out few weeks ago and I said yes. I have known him since I was like 15. I also know his family too because our moms were colleagues. So, anyway, he came to my house 5 days ago to pick me up because we were having a picnic date. I was in the living room watching a kid's show "Phineas and Ferb". I really like this show. I have been watching the re-runs since I was a kid. This cartoon had a huge impact in my life. I still watch it whenever my mood is off so that I can still cling on to the innocent child inside me. I was laughing at a part. And he was standing next to me. He was a little confused judging by his expression.
He asked me if my nephew was in the house. I told him no. Then he asked me then who is watching cartoon since all of my family members are adults. I told him I was watching it. And I really like this cartoon. I then proceed to tell him that I still watch this particular cartoon because it was a part of my childhood and I have some good memories linked to it. He told me it is really embarrassing and ridiculous. I asked why. He told me that I am a 24 yr old woman. Why am I watching something kids watch and I need to grow up. It really bothered me. I don't think there is an age limit to watching cartoons.
Since that day he would make fun of me. Whenever we go to restaurant he would jokingly order from the kids menu. He would talk to me in baby voice as if I am a kid. Whenever I tell him to stop he would say "Awww, lil 'op' got mad? How cute." and sometimes even use phrases like young lady. It was really frustrating. Today we went to a party, his friends were there too. I was meeting them for the first time. He introduced me and said to his friends that he needs to be locked up because he is technically dating a minor. He then tells them how I still watch cartoons and they all laughed. Some of them find it awkward. He also made fun of my height too (I am 5'4 and he is 6'1). He proceeds to shuffle my hair like people do on kids. I got mad and told him "It's funny how he makes fun of me being a kid, yet he still needs his mommy to do his laundry." His smile just wiped out of his face. I further said "Well at least this kid knows how to keep herself clean and know how to drive unlike him who failed the driving test 2 times." The room went silent.
Later when I got home, I got calls from my cousin that I overreacted and embarrassed him in front of his friends. And he was right to make fun of me because who the hell watches cartoon when they are adults. I told her I am not interested in entertaining boys who feels like they can make fun of anyone they want but when someone does the same they act like little babies. I guess that is it. Probably the shortest relationship I have been on.
TLDR: A guy I was seeing made fun of me because I watch "Phineas and Ferb" in front of his friends. So I gave him the taste of his own medicine. Now he is pissed.
Mini Update: Well my cousin again texted me. She told me he was upset and after the party he went home with his "girl best friend" and spend the night there. She wants me to apologies because apparently "I am letting a good guy slip." Well, let him slip. Slip inside a volcano.
SubstantialEase567: He could learn to do his laundry. He's also unkind.
I-Passed6789: I now realized he could be a mama's boy. Because his mom would call him at least once when we were out.
Aaurvandil: Huge red flag if this happened every time... bullet dodged.
dosedatwer: I don't agree. You can't control what your parents do. OP merely said that his mom called him, didn't say if he answered. With the context of what happened next, of course it was something like that, but with just "mom called him at least once" each time they were out then no, I don't agree that's a red flag.
LunchBoxer72: Yeah you can, you set boundaries and hold them, like maybe not calling me on a weekend during prime going out timea I won't pick up.
dosedatwer: Sure, you can make boundaries and even not pick up. That doesn't necessarily stop your mom from calling you though. As someone whose mom died due to medical conditions that no one outside of the immediate family knew about, I can attest that there are reasons to take calls from your mom even when you're busy. Most people only get one mom.
LunchBoxer72: Yea, you can't compare, "my mom shared a secret illness with me and I help her deal", with "adult helicopter mom calling me on every night out." You waaay out of the context of this post at that point.
dosedatwer: Nah man, the only context was a mom calling a guy every time he's out. Remember we're not talking about OP's situation, but that specific thing happening being a red flag or not.
LunchBoxer72: It's still a red flag, if your mom's calling you every night your out, even with poor health, your shitty for being out all the time and not with your dying mom.
dosedatwer: Or your mom is overbearing and you're just not at a place where you want to completely block your mom from your life?
Goddamn, your empathy is nonexistent, isn't it?
LunchBoxer72: Lmao, not picking up while out is not insensitive, good luck living on egg shells.
dosedatwer: ...no one said they picked up, mate. Good luck with that brain of yours, you're gonna have a tough life.
LunchBoxer72: We are literally talking about a mom calling... my brains fine yours is missing.
dosedatwer: Lol, we're literally talking about her calling, yes. Not her kid answering. Nice try though. You'll get there eventually, little buddy!
LunchBoxer72: Umm, we are tho... you should see someone...
dosedatwer: Lol. No, we aren't. We're talking about whether or not your mom calling you is a red flag. No one mentioned anyone answering the call.
You really need to learn to read, dude.
| 17 | 1,741.882353 | |
1673375060 | 1673436174 | t3_108gwbo | t5_2to41 | 64,392 | Sawndey: TIFU by Telling My Friends How I Keep Myself From Cumming
Of course this wasn’t actually today but was in fact a few weeks ago. My roommates and I were sitting on the couch after taking some rips and were just chatting. I, being absolutely zooted, turned to my roommate and asked him what he thinks about to keep himself from nutting when he and his girlfriend do the deed. And to which he gave a quite reasonable answer of, “I just stare at a wall and let my mind go blank.”
Where this takes a horrible turn is when he asked me the same thing. At which point I turned to him and confessed that I think about Tarzan. Specifically the part of the movie when Tarzan is sliding down the vines and the song “Son of Man” is playing in the background. I can’t say for certain why this image always pops up in my head, but it has never failed me so far.
Cue the eruption of laughter as all of my roommates are baffled by my method. Everyone immediately started looking up the video on YouTube and showing me the clip of Tarzan sliding down the vines, which made me very flaccid indeed.
In the weeks after, every time I bring my girlfriend to our house and go upstairs, my phone is bombarded with messages from my roommates sending me gifs of Tarzan sliding down the vines. I’m worried that this will not end anytime soon, as I haven’t been able to get it up ever since.
TLDR : I told my roommates that I think about Tarzan to keep myself from nutting too early.
msginbtween: This is kind of hilarious. Sorry OP but it’ll stop if you ignore it. They’re just looking for a reaction from you at this point. If they mention it laugh it off, if not, it’ll be forgotten about soon.
Sawndey: Thanks for the advice
weedgay: Damn, I think I’m going to try this. Thanks OP!
Glorx: Just don't fuck your girl to that song or she's going to notice something's weird.
alexelalexela: yeah only fuck your girl to cbat by hudson mohawke
mrgabest: That poor woman.
TheOvenLord: It set the bar as far as I'm concerned. If you're not making your girl listen to balloon animals fucking while you're fucking, you need to reevaluate what you're even doing with your life.
Nobody1441: >you need to reevaluate what you're even doing with your life.
Exactly what your partner thinks if you play Cbat in bed.
TheOvenLord: Oh don't worry. My sex dungeon doesn't have a bed. Just an obsidian slab on a turquoise pedestal.
Nobody1441: Honestly, thought the reddit story about a guy who showed this girl his "nest" was coming up.
TLDR: dude had no bed, just a big pile of clothes he slept in. And invited this girl to partake. She posted to reddit.
terminalzero: gonna need a link chief
Nobody1441: Shit, ill do my best. Unsure if i saved it. Will delve into my Saved Graveyard and see if its in there.
Edit: turns out, i did not. So heres another fun link instead.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/zoslb1/z/j0pgz4w
tsmc796: Found it, but it's been [deleted](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/hiqw9u/my_24_f_boyfriend_25m_sleeps_in_a_nest_of_clothes/)
| 14 | 4,599.428571 | |
1674405625 | 1674407924 | t3_10inude | t5_2to41 | 6 | Mouseries9438: TIFU by eating my old favorite noodles
So basically, I have some sort of sensitivity to ginger. I get ridiculously sick to my stomach any time I eat something with ginger as an ingredient, so I've avoided it for years. I love the flavour it gives dishes though, so I used to eat it a lot until I figured out what it was doing to me.
On to the FU, my husband remembered my favorite flavour of noodles from when we were dating and got them for me. I, of course, devoured them like they were the first food I'd had in weeks. I found ginger powder in the ingredients after eating while I was taking notes to try to make a copycat recipe.
I didn't realize just how bad it would get, thought I'd just throw up a couple times and be fine. After the kids went to sleep, it started. The sharp pain that felt like my guts twisting around a knife. I thought, maybe gas pains, and waited it out. By the time midnight came around I was curled up in the fetal position crying, shaking, sweating, and I couldn't move because of the pain. Way worse than any of my childrens' births. Eventually it started to fade and I figure it was probably the ginger in the noodles that caused it, it's noon the next day now and I'm still a little sore but it hasn't come back bad like that again, so hopefully that was it.
I'm never eating without checking the ingredients again.
TL;DR
Ginger sensitivity and unknown ginger in food caused the worst gastro pain of my life, will never eat my favorite foods again
AcrobaticSource3: Considering the posts on this sub, I was waiting for you to say you were in the fetal position, and then your mouth and/or asshole erupted with vomit and/or diarrhea...glad you avoided this liquid mess, even thought it made for a tamer story!
Mouseries9438: I excluded the mess since the rules say it's not allowed 🤷 but there was unfortunately some spray while I was incapacitated. I hate throwing up but would have been better than this!
| 3 | 2 | |
1674401270 | 1674421231 | t3_10im5ff | t5_2to41 | 542 | forzov3rwatch: TIFU by leaving my phone in an Uber
Oh gods, where do I start with this one.
So, this happened yesterday. Within the last 24 hours. But the reason I’m telling it now is because it’s only finally resolved and I have my phone back.
For context, what made this so bad was, I wasn’t just like. In the city. I took a rideshare to a regional park that’s on a highway that leads up to a ski resort (Galena Creek up towards Mount Rose, iykyk)
I get up there with snowshoes and my poles and my backpack full of snacks and water ready to go for my first solo hike, and… panic sets in once I check my pockets to get navigating myself. My phone is gone. And it wasn’t in the snow and it just fell out of my pocket. Nope, back seat of an Uber who had definitely gone by now and I had no way of getting that phone back myself.
Where it gets real bad, was resolving the situation. Because I didn’t have a car, and I didn’t have a phone to contact anyone, and I haven’t memorized the numbers of anyone local so I couldn’t call anyone.
So I had to snowshoe about a mile, up the highway, falling hard on ice and asphalt at least once, before I could hitch a ride with someone.
The undercurrent to all this was that I couldn’t log into anything. Because what do you use for 2FA? Your phone. Which made getting in touch with Uber support 10x harder even though they have a dedicated line for people who can’t log in because they lost their phone.
Overall, 5/5 for the driver, 1/5 for the everything else.
TL;DR: lost my phone, had to endure a digital lockout and had to do one of the worst hikes ever.
an0nymm: How did you actually end up sorting it all out and getting it back?
forzov3rwatch: It was a nightmare. Uber, thankfully, has a means to contact support if you can't log in because of a lost phone, but it took contacting the driver multiple times throughout the day and having him go through a friend who he could talk to via cell and could talk to me via Discord on my laptop. We arranged a meetup for this morning, and I got it.
akai_tsubaki: I hope there was some tip(cash), from you included.
forzov3rwatch: I kicked in a big tip, the ride was already ~$36
e_di_pensier: How much did you tip them OP
e_di_pensier: lmao why are y’all downvoting me for asking this question 😭
dansamy: Have an updoot from me. Sorry people are being mean.
| 8 | 67.75 | |
1672576317 | 1672706154 | t3_100ioy7 | t5_2to41 | 42 | BrushOne6560: TIFU by not downloading FM radio to my father's phone
My father (60) have been using an old Android phone to listen to fm radio at our old house (my father lives alone at our old house with no internet/tv signal). Lately my father have been asking me to help him find out the problem on his phone because he can't use/find the FM radio app. Except from feeding his pet, he had no other past time to do at home. In order to listen to fm radio he have to plug in earphones and search for a good signal. Whenever my father ask for help to fix the radio in his phone, I kept on answering I don't know what the problem is or that it's probably because his phone is way too old and slow. He have been persistent about asking me but I kept on telling him the same thing.. that I can't help him/ maybe ask my other siblings for help.
Now here's the fucked up part, just today I realized why I am the one that my father has been asking all this time. Last Christmas I gifted him earphones because my mother once said that his was broken by my niece. And so the reason why my father kept asking me to fix his FM radio is because he wanted to use my gift for him, but instead of helping him, I brushed off his request.
My father could have chosen to buy a new phone if he wanted to cause he have monthly pension but instead he is using an old crappy phone to save any bit of money for mine and my sibling's study. I'm a piece of shit.
TL:DR - My father just wanted to appreciate and use the Christmas gift that he received from me but I was too dumb to even help him.
unknowngodess: Idk what country you are in, but if he doesn't get the internet; he won't get any radio stations on his phone.
You would want to install a music app that you can download the songs he wants to hear.
I have a friend who is in the same position as your Dad, with no internet. I just cloned my Playlist to her phone and she is happy with the results.
13AccentVA: OP mentioned it but there are plenty of phones, including smartphones, that have an FM receiver built in. It's not as common now as it once was but there are still many in production that do.
unknowngodess: We have smart phones. I just got a new phone in November. Still don't get the fm radio without a internet connection.
13AccentVA: Then you're phone may not have an FM receiver or it may not be activated.
[Here is a list](https://phonesquestions.com/samsung-phones-with-fm-radio/) of over 30 devices that do, and that list is just Samsung.
Your phone =/= all phones
unknowngodess: Thanks for this! I have one of these and truly didn't know about the fm antenna.
Now to get it turned on.. lol! So far I've only got fm by a app, so that's a new one for me.
kevin0carl: According to that article it’s only phones with Snapdragon processors, which are mostly sold in the US and China.
| 7 | 6 | |
1674407852 | 1674415002 | t3_10ioq0z | t5_2to41 | 41 | feuud: TIFU as I am on the brink of ruining a very good and a beautiful friendship.
So today I was chatting with this girl who is also my best friend, on Instagram. She had recently gone through a breakup and we were discussing about that. Also we were discussing about general things happening to us in our day to day lives.
She then proceeds to tell me about the workouts and all the physical exercises she had done to look good for her partner. So she asks if I wanted to see the pics of her body redevelopment. I agreed. She then sent her photos in one view in the Instagram app.
At that moment something passed my mind and I screenshot the images (they were photos of her in her sports gear, which was very revealing).
She asked me about the screenshots, a they showed up in her chat. I was fucked, I apologised, I cried and told her that I was going to show this to her ex and tell him what he lost.
She was okay in the chat, and told me not to send the images to him. But I feel a ton of guilt in my mind about the thing I did today.
I asked her if this would ruin our friendship, she then replied that this is okay, nothing sort of serious.
Now I don't know how I would be able to talk to her and speak to her in the eyes.
If you guys have any tips, please feel free to suggest some. It will be of great help.
TL;DR
GreenLurch: Maybe record your screen as you permanently delete the pics and show her?
feuud: I've did it
and she is okay and tells me not to overthink about that
betterversionn: Good, it’s over, and I wouldn’t bring it up again. Definitely let it go.
| 4 | 10.25 | |
1673990085 | 1674146923 | t3_10egzuq | t5_2to41 | -49 | DecisivelyArbitrary: Im not poly and have no interest but it’s like some of y’all just don’t like sex. I absolutely didn’t expect people to be so against this, I need an explanation. 🤔
tk_79: Sure I like sex but don’t have respect for married “poly” couples. Those two things are mutually exclusive champ
DecisivelyArbitrary: But like how would you be able to tell if they don’t mention it? My friends who are married don’t really talk about their sex lives but if one wants to shove a banana up his dick then I’m all for it. I guess I’m asking what causes the loss of respect?
tk_79: Let’s be completely honest here and discard the mask of politeness , it’s the internet and we’re nobody’s…….most ppl wouldn’t let other dudes smash their wife and def wouldn’t respect guys who allow this, it’s just reality. The fuck am I supposed to say, wow that’s so cool and you guys are such a “brave” couple. Air your personal life to complete strangers then be prepared for both positive and negative comments.
DecisivelyArbitrary: Gotcha. Didn’t think about it from a male point of view, my man would, understandably, also lose his fucking mind.
[deleted]: >Didn’t think about it from a male point of view
This close minded person with tons of repressed insecurity around sex you're responding to doesn't represent "the male point of view." Plenty of men are okay with having an open relationship. Some men even find a lot of sexual enjoyment watching their SO having sex with someone else.
Mrhere_wabeer: Exceptions don't make the rule there champ
KungFuActionJesus5: If there's an exception, then it's not a rule my dude.
Sycopathy: That is not how rules work... exceptions prove the rule by virtue of being an abnormality. Crime is what happens when people take exception to the rule of law.
It's also a bit disingenuous to actually argue the idea that most men would be completely fine, in fact gratified watching their significant other have sex with someone else. Why is the response to the erasure of the non heteronormative to try and erase heterosexuality in turn?
[deleted]: I don't see anyone saying "most men" except for you.
Sycopathy: If it was normal surely it'd be self evident in society? I'm not saying it's wrong in anyway but that doesn't make it the average.
[deleted]: You're the only one using the words "most", "normal", and "average."
Sycopathy: Well tell me then is polyamory common where you live? Yes I'm using words because thats how people communicate, the premise breakdown if you're just going to narrate what I say.
[deleted]: I'm pointing out the way you're setting up straw men to argue against relationships which have no impact on you. If you're frustrated, it's probably from me refusing to engage in your straw man arguments.
Sycopathy: I'm just disheartened that you'd rather waste both our time condescending people on the internet rather than have a conversation. But okay not everyone uses the site for the same reasons my mistake.
[deleted]: >I'm just disheartened
Good. You've made no attempt to be genuine. You've only pretended that people are saying things they aren't then demanded they argue against the claims they never made.
Sycopathy: Pot calling the kettle black. I never argued against polyamory I actually explicitly said I wasn't commenting on whether it was good or bad just that it wasn't something I thought the a average person participated in.
I guess my worst offence is alluding to how how it feels a lot like heternormative behaviour is now out of vogue? Which you've kinda reinforced my opinion on since you didn't address my original point or contribute your own.
Literally like why talk to me if you didn't want to have a conversation, just leave the comment or downvote it and move on. Instead you perform this elaborate moral exercise where neither of us actually gain anything useful.
[deleted]: Creating straw men, which you did again here, isn't a way to have a conversation. You don't want to have a conversation. You want to address arguments and positions no one here, except for you, is making. You want to have your grievances validated and be told you're right.
Sycopathy: I'm happy to be proven wrong but that needs other people to actually engage me with their own points. If you have one and hate mine you could have brought it to the table and we would have had something else to talk about.
But you've already made your character assessment of me and decided I am not worth having a productive conversation with, pretty sure if anyone is making strawmen intentionally it's you viewing me as a caricature of whatever your enemy is. I'm not that, I'm just a guy who wanted to learn from discussion and has been denied that completely.
[deleted]: I made a point way at the very beginning of this thread, a point which you haven't engaged with once. Hypocrite much?
It's just like I told you before. You aren't looking for conversation. You're looking for validation.
| 20 | -2.45 | |
1674407861 | 1674639042 | t3_10ioq70 | t5_2to41 | 1,157 | Typical_Ad_210: TIFU - shat for so long that I dislocated my knee
Shitting has always been an issue for me. No matter what anti-constipation measures I take, I still find myself straining and panting like a woman in labour, as I birth my chocolate log.
At boarding school we were expected to shit on schedule, every morning after breakfast. Of course we had the ubiquitous school tracing paper to rip up/wipe our arseholes. Personally I feel that timetabled turds is a ridiculous expectation for *anyone*, let alone the chronically constipated, but still I was ushered into a cubicle and told to drop the proverbial kids off at the pool.
A spoonful of vile cod liver oil awaited anyone who failed to perform, so naturally I lied and said I had indeed “had passage”, as matron made us call it. The fetid stench of 19 other prepubescent boys defecating covered up my own shitty shortcomings. A cacophony of plopping, farting and flushing was the soundtrack that kicked off our day and helped me conceal my lie.
In the evening I would go to the toilet and try to squeeze one out (not in the good way). After an hour of straining and grunting, I would manage to “have passage” about one day in every three.
I’m now 45 and every third day remains my current success rate. I generally spend around an hour at a time on the throne. Ordinarily I will shift my weight from side to side every few minutes, to keep the blood flowing. A few times I have stood up then immediately decked it like the queen’s guard on a hot day. Shifting around on the seat periodically keeps these incidents rare, and normally I am vigilant in following my pooping protocol.
Today, however, I was too engrossed in my Suguru puzzles to remember to shift my arse every few minutes. Instead I spent an hour stock still, legs pressed against the toilet seat, a lack of blood flow making my legs into little more than hairy pool noodles.
I stood up to flush the toilet and immediately wobbled around uselessly. My legs were completely numb. They really didn’t feel they were part of my body, it was surreal. Just like many a horny teen, pre-masturbatorily compressing his own hand for a more luxurious anonymous wank, I too had given myself a “stranger”, albeit accidentally.
I flailed about, numbly taking some tentative steps, like a newborn giraffe. Almost immediately, I started to fall, my limp spaghetti legs had clearly had enough. As I fell, I whacked the side of my leg against the bath, somehow knocking the kneecap out of place in a sharp agonising pop.
My wife ran in to find a pathetic crumpled heap of a husband on the floor. Trousers and pants round his ankles, cock bobbing up and down with each pained sob, hairy legs splayed out at unflattering angles. Noxious odour filling the room. Worst of all, what she would later describe as “wads of toilet paper atop a mountain of turd” was still clearly visible in the porcelain crime scene. If she questioned her vows at that moment, I don’t blame her.
Thankfully she was able to help me manipulate the kneecap back into place, so no medical professionals would be subjected to the sensory smorgasbord of my bathroom at that moment. My kids were not so lucky, running in shortly after their mother. Thankfully they found it all absolutely hilarious, even squabbling over who got to flush the pan (though as usual it took 4 or 5 flushes to shift the brown behemoth anyway). I have no doubt they will delight in relaying the entire story in excruciating detail to everyone they’ve ever met. Luckily I have no dignity left to lose.
Right now I am icing my knee, which is still throbbing. I am feeling sorry for myself, even though I’m so lucky to have an amazing spouse who insists she still finds me attractive, despite recent events. At least I “had passage” before I kneecapped myself. I get a three day rest before my next intestinal stirring.
TL;DR - legs fell asleep on bog, kneecap paid the price.
armcie: Have you tried a [squatty potty](https://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/squatty-potty-what-is)? It's a little stool that raises your feet as you sit, moving you into more of a squatting position and straightening your bowel. There is evidence it's helpful.
FenderMike: how is using one of these different to just leaning forward?
my_meat_is_grass_fed: I don't use a squatty potty, but I can tell you, don't lean forward. I know that's the natural inclination, but lean back, instead. This way you're not compressing your bowels. It will also relieve any pain you're experiencing.
FenderMike: as long as you kept your back straight wouldn’t you just end up in the same position as if you were on a squatty potty but just rotated forward at the hip?
my_meat_is_grass_fed: I don't know, as I've never used the squatty potty. I do tend to lean back as far as the lid or tank will allow, so I don't necessarily just sit up straight
FenderMike: sounds like the exact opposite position of the squatty potty so i am not going to buy one
my_meat_is_grass_fed: Ok, so you got me curious, and I looked it up. You don't actually squat, you still sit on the toilet, and sit with your feet and knees up. Not exactly the same as my suggestion, but also not sure it's worth paying for.
FenderMike: i have also been curious about this for ages. i know it’s not like actually squatting but the V created between your thighs and belly/chest would be at the same angle if you were sitting upright with the squatty potty or just leaning forward with a straight back without it. so why not just lean forward with straight back. BOGGLING
| 9 | 128.555556 | |
1672579211 | 1672635744 | t3_100jjke | t5_2to41 | 6 | ikesonofpeter: TIFU by trying to fight my sisters partner
So I (M22) moved away from my hometown the beginning of this year for university.
I’m down for Christmas holidays currently.
The other night I went out on the town for drinks with my mother (F43) and sister (F20). All was well and we had a great time overall, although since mum said the night was on her we were loading up on drinks the whole night and I think I maybe had about 10 drinks in total.
Now I’ve known for the past wee while that my sister and her partner (who I was also friends with in high school.) have been having problems in their relationship, on again off again, and that he has also shown quite a few signs of severe depression and disassociation/BPD. Well long story short me and my sister had a drunk conversation about how she was feeling for the relationship and up until now I was all for the guy as I also knew my sister can be a hard person to live with and her standards are very high(not that that’s a bad thing I just know she’d be a hard woman to please).
They also have a child together my nephew who has just turned 2 and is a beautiful soul.
I heard that recently they got into an argument a few weeks ago and while he was driving he started driving recklessly as an intimidation tactic and scaring my sister like he’ll crash or something with my nephew also in the car. This is not the first time this has happened. She also said one time he was drunk and held his fist up when they got into an argument and was insinuating he would hit her.
This set me off. I told my mates to take me back to the house after and I was going to have a talk with him. I should also mention we lost our father to stroke early last year, my family has traditional Polynesian values as in the oldest son is the protector of the family.
I was livid that he had put my sister and nephew in danger by driving recklessly with them just because he was mad and so at around 2am(stupid I know) 2 of my mates and I went back to the house and knocked on their door and wanted him to come outside so I could give him a bit of a scare and let him know he cannot fuck with my family like that and not have any consequences.
My sister and mum grabbed me and would not let me speak to him but since I was a bit inebriated this just made me angrier. I said I didn’t want him living in my families house as I don’t know what he’s capable of as he’s mentally ill and he’s a big dude also about 6’3 Samoan but he hasn’t tried to help himself. I lost control and began saying other things that I would do to him that I’m not proud of. But my sister was slowly talking me down and I was going to leave. He heard this whole thing as their room is next to the lounge where we were.
Suddenly there was a loud bang and he broke the door and rushed in to come at me and I was just thinking it was on and we were going to fight and so I rushed back at him. We tried to throw punches but it was broken up quickly by my mates who tackled him and my little brother (M16 built like a fucking tank) who took a hold of me and wouldnt let go. He then got put on the ground being held by my mates I got free from my brother and tried to lunge and threw a hook but as I threw it my brother got in front and caught it on the side of his face. I was so angry that all I wanted to do at this point was smash this guys face in and I completely lost control, my brother held me and took me outside doing his best to calm me down but I wasn’t going to and kept trying to get back to my sisters partner to fight. I know now this was a dumb thing to do but this is what happened, in my mind at the time I was willing to die to get this guy away from my family. My mother called the cops and I was put in handcuffs and loaded into the car because I wouldn’t calm down. In there for half an hour and calmed down a bit and the cops let my mates take me to their house to crash for the night. I woke up still mad that he came out at me and my family wants me to apologise and him also. He has agreed to move out which he did today and him and my sister be on a break until he gets help for his mental stuff. I should also add I am normally a happy drinker and drink maybe once or twice per week maximum. I dealt with this horribly under the guise of trying to protect my family mainly out of fear. My sisters partner is not a bad person at heart but he definitely needs help and needs to be away from my family while he does it. I don’t know what to do but this is definitely one of my biggest fuck ups.
tl;dr sister drunkenly told me what her mentally ill partner has done and I went back to the family house and to give him a warning but it turned into a fight and I was arrested
butlesslame: I don’t think this is a fuck up, OP. You stood up for your family, and that’s what matters. It could have been handled better, but the root of the problem is a deep concern for the safety and well-being of your family. Hopefully he gets the help he needs, and hopefully your brother doesn’t hold that punch you gave him over you for too long. Cheers OP.
ikesonofpeter: Cheers for this bro
| 3 | 2 | |
1672579715 | 1672674187 | t3_100jp4y | t5_2to41 | 18,457 | nerdalesca: TIFU By cuddling my elderly dog.
My dog is 16 years old. She's in reasonable health, fair bit of arthritis, slowly going deaf/ a little night blind, but she sees her vet regularly, and they're happy enough with the state of her health to allow her to continue her slow amble into her twilight years, so all is well there.
Due to the aforementioned arthritis, she has a special orthopaedic dog bed thats supposed to give her old body all the support she needs to remain comfy. She seems happy with it, but we did notice that as she can't climb onto the bed/couch anymore, she doesn't get to just chill with us as much.
This is kinda sad, especially when she's spent her whole life being as close to us as possible when we're at home. She's a Kelpie mix, so while she's not a huge dog, she's not really a lapdog either.
Until one day a couple months ago I realised if I sat in the recliner with her and leaned the recliner all the way back, she could lay across my stomach and chest and become a lap dog.
Naturally I tried this out, and she loved it. It quickly becomes a new routine - every couple of nights, after she's had her last wee before bed, we have some time on the recliner with her eventually falling asleep on my shoulder.
Having some time off from work over Christmas/new years I didn't have to worry about my own bed time as much, and could spend most nights having some cuddle time and for longer. As she's now 2 or 3 years past her life expectancy at this point, I don't mind too much - I suspect these will be moments I treasure once she finally does make her final trot over to the big dog park in the sky.
Tonight though, I thought I'd spend some time taking the last of our Christmas ornaments down, tidying up, doing a few extra chores before bed instead. And I tried - until I heard the whining. I knew she didn't need anything - at this point, she had her dinner, had after dinner garden strolls, been out for a wee, had an after dinner snack of the kibble she left over from dinner, had a last minute pee break... She should have been happy to peacefully drift off to sleep. And then I realised. She'd come to have Expectations. And by deciding to knock a few things off my to-do list instead, I was not meeting those Expectations.
So I am now typing this on my phone while a geriatric dog softly snores on my shoulder.
TL;DR: In making memories with my elderly dog, I accidentally lock myself into an expectation that I will spend upwards of 30 minutes every night letting her fall asleep on me, or else have to listen to her sing the piteous song of her people in ever increasing levels of volume and drama.
ETA Dog Tax https://www.reddit.com/user/nerdalesca/comments/100kudg/recent_photos_of_the_old_lady_for_dog_tax/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
UPDATE: Thank you all for your comments! I woke up and loved reading the stories about your senior pets or pets that have passed, and I hope my very firmly tongue in cheek exasperation at creating a new ritual that revolves around my dog has brought back happy memories only.
For everyone that was disappointed that my original post wasn't an actual FU, this update is for you.
I started reading some of the comments last night, while letting her stay on top of me a bit longer than usual. I must have dozed off a little at one point, and as I'm no longer a spring chicken myself, sleeping on the recliner with a dog on top of me all night didn't strike me as a good idea.
So I scoop a now sleep drunk and floppy canine up, and put her in her own bed. She stirs enough to look up at me with those big brown eyes, melting my heart again just like she did at the shelter almost 16 years ago.
And then I realise. See, as an old lady, she's usually pretty good about telling us when she needs a wee, but like a lot of old people, she leaks sometimes, especially when she's dead asleep. And oh boy, has she gotten nice and relaxed with an extended cuddle session and snooze. At least I went to bed feeling fresh after that 3am shower.
Update TL;DR: Vindication for the people that thought this was just a wholesome post for easy karma - she relaxed too hard and she peed on me a little.
mcm0313: Thank you for this wonderful post. At least you still have her with you. I had a mutt who lived to 16, but she was senile by the end.
Also thank you for your clever sense of humo(u)r, which really stands out in your word choices.
nzdennis: How can you tell if a dog is senile?
mcm0313: There are specific signs, such as sticking their heads in corners and being unable to get out. But generally, just confusion and forgetting things they used to know.
She was also mostly blind and pretty hard of hearing by the end too, and she had had immune-related arthritis since she was 12. It was rough to see her decline. She was in perfect health till age 12 though.
nzdennis: How did you know when to put her down?
mcm0313: My mom was actually the one who made that decision. She was up all night with the pooch, who was moaning. She had almost completely stopped eating and drinking.
Less than six months later, I made the same decision for my cat, who was dying of what was probably lymphoma. All this took place in the middle of the COVID pandemic as well. It was a rough few months.
nzdennis: Wow, that must have been hard for you to have the two pass away so close together.
Still, to have shared time with them was a true blessing. 🙂
mcm0313: True on both counts.
| 8 | 2,307.125 | |
1674231381 | 1674240269 | t3_10h0y80 | t5_2to41 | 2,704 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my wife she’s a 10.
[deleted]
MoistButton8: I would give you a 8 for creativity and 2 for situational awareness.
just_here_for_place: The 2 for situational awareness is still too much. Look at his post history. He cheated on his wife 5 days ago.
lacroixluva: WOW. Talk about CONTEXT. And this guy is all " Hopefully she comes home after work in a better mood." More like "Hopefully she doesn't home after work with a shotgun and a shovel."
Malnurtured_Snay: I hope she remembers the hacksaw, industrial strength garbage bags, and lime!
trashtrampoline: Or some hungry pigs.
Bright-Mode-2768: This is scary close to the conversation I had with my neighbor 🤣 there were 2 serial killers in Canada that used pigs to hide the bodies
kpmadness: Pickton farm?
Bright-Mode-2768: Yeasss and there was another. The Pickton farm was a male run farm was Willie Pickton. The other was a female. I can't remember her name but I'm gonna look it up
kpmadness: I heard about both cases while listening to Morbid. I heard about the woman too. She would rent out her house to different men, kill them, and bury them on her property. If it's the same case I'm thinking, one man she shot fell into a pig enclosure afterwards.
| 10 | 270.4 | |
1672580482 | 1672585708 | t3_100jxsz | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting blackout drunk at my moms house
[deleted]
smorkoid: I assume you are going to learn from this and get help for your alcohol problems?
[deleted]: If I develop a drinking problem then I will get help, though after all of it I never wanna drink again.
smorkoid: Let me tell you something as someone who is a quite heavy drinker, you are describing an alcohol problem you already have. This is not healthy behavior or a healthy thought process. Keep it in mind.
No-Junket-1659: Calm down, if hes getting this fucked up off, off the amount he drank he propably dosnt do it regulary. Though he should watch out not to make getting this fucked up a habit, theres nothing unusual with overastimating his boundries
smorkoid: He got heavily drunk to the point of blacking out and vomiting, while being the only person drinking.
I'm plenty calm here, but I've been here and I know others who have as well, and it's not a good road to go down.
No-Junket-1659: I get your point, didnt mean to lessen what you said.
And i agree with you that its definitly not a good road to go down.
But it dosnt seem to me like hes done something like that before. The whole Story sounds to me like hes inexperienced, wanted to get a little drunk and overeatimated what he can take. Thats dosnt Sound like a alcohol problem to me, and more like someone who overstepped. That happens, it isnt good, but i wouldnt go as far as referring him to get help
| 7 | 2.571429 | |
1674412642 | 1674445027 | t3_10iqn0z | t5_2to41 | 26,923 | [deleted]: TIFU by attending my friends "adult" dinner party.
[deleted]
NBAccount: If you had shown up to an orgy in black tie with a beef wellington you probably would have felt just as out of place.
lorgskyegon: I showed up to a kink meet up at a bar in full tux with white gloves. It's the first time the woman who became my wife noticed me. She said it was the gloves that did it for her.
aguadiablo: A munch?
lorgskyegon: Yep
Timmetie: Every munch has super cringy incels who are super over-dressed and heavily overcompensating.
It's.. sad.. mostly.
But I'm glad it worked out for you.
lorgskyegon: Well... thanks? I happened to find a designer tux that fit me perfectly at a thrift store and patent leather shoes at a different thrift store in the same week, so I decided to wear it for fun. I even had a martini because that's what you drink when you wear a tux. And I discovered martinis are terrible.
iggymcfly: What??? It’s olives and vodka! What’s not to like?
lorgskyegon: Because it's gin and vermouth
rukisama85: For me personally, gin is only good in a gin and tonic. Because you can't really taste the gin. Which makes no sense, but that's my experience.
rhllor: Ever been to a gin bar? Because there's a ton of variety, and even if you're not an expert you can absolutely tell the difference.
| 11 | 2,447.545455 | |
1673655474 | 1673726333 | t3_10ba5xa | t5_2to41 | 9,019 | glalon: TIFU by asking my wife what she would do if I slapped her across the face
I was working from home and went downstairs to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I'd been concentrating on work and took the opportunity to briefly switch off and rest my mind for a bit.
As I was walking down the stairs I wondered what it would be like to slap someone across the face. There was no particular reason or context to this thought. I could just have easily wondered what it would be like to fill some wellies with tomato soup and walk down the street wearing them.
My wife was in the kitchen making her lunch and without any consideration or thought, as I walked in I straight up asked her "What would you do if I slapped you across the face?". She replied to say that's very mean, started crying, and left the room. I'm going to take from that response that she wouldn't be too chuffed if I did slap her.
Still not on proper speaking terms, I've got some making up to do.
(For the record I've never slapped her, or anyone for that mattter, and have no intention of ever doing so)
Tl;Dr I asked my wife what she would do if I slapped her across the face and she started crying.
JugV2: I can understand that response if there was no prior discussion, no preamble to the question. My wife and I discuss lots of things like this but it's kind of a rolling conversation and we make sure both are aware of the context.
Out of the blue, with no knowledge of her past or experiences, this could certainly trigger or cause things such as PTSD. At the very least it would be a hell of a surprise for her to hear.
I hope you guys work this out and talk talk talk. Communication is so important.
Hungry_Share_4158: If someone’s with somebody that fragile they’re probably better off apart
abbadactyl_: Damn I didn't know people with trauma don't deserve relationships
Hungry_Share_4158: It’s not about deserving, it’s about being capable of being in a healthy relationship. If someone has unresolved or unmanaged issues they need to address those things before getting into one.
abbadactyl_: My significant other has helped me more than anything in my healing journey. Nah, even those with trauma deserve to be in a relationship.
Hungry_Share_4158: It’s not about deserving, it’s about being capable of being in a healthy relationship. Kudos to you for having a partner who is willing to be your therapist. I hope you treat them better than OP’s wife treats him.
abbadactyl_: I have a partner who is my loving and caring partner. I have a therapist for my therapy thanks.
OPs wife did nothing wrong here. Why isn't she allowed to have emotions at a very concerning statement?
Hungry_Share_4158: OP’s wife is stonewalling. That is emotional abuse.
abbadactyl_: Oh you just got divorced a month ago, I see why you're a bit fragile about wives :/
Hungry_Share_4158: Now you’re being abusive.
abbadactyl_: I do not think that means what you think it means
Hungry_Share_4158: Stonewalling is abuse. Yes or no?
abbadactyl_: This isn't abuse or stonewalling. His wife had an emotional reaction to something that could very easily be heard as a threat
Hungry_Share_4158: It’s important that you understand the forms of abuse, and the risk of people who are traumatized becoming reactive abusers themselves. OP’s wife is literally stonewalling. Please look it up.
abbadactyl_: It's important that you understand people have genuine emotional responses to feeling threatened. People who feel threatened are likely to have some.
Hungry_Share_4158: Having feelings is not an excuse for abusive behavior.
abbadactyl_: Threatening your partner is abusive behavior
Hungry_Share_4158: Even if OP had intended to hurt his partner, reacting to that with further abuse is not excusable.
abbadactyl_: Having emotions isn't abusive. How about you stop defending threatening your spouse?
Hungry_Share_4158: Abusing someone is abusing. You are not excused for it because you believe you have a good reason. Otherwise OP could also be justified in hurting his wife because of any feeling he had about something she did or didn’t do.
abbadactyl_: No. He is not justified in harming his partner.
On an actual serious note, you really need therapy. You obviously have some problems with women, and no, im not talking about your ex here. You've said some really misogynistic things about "insecure women with tiny tits" and also think that it isn't your problem if women don't orgasm when they have sex with you. I am ending this conversation here because you are a defending someone hitting their partner because you think she might be stonewalling him based on the context of she cried after he implied he was thinking of hitting her.
You need therapy, like bad. For you and your kids sake. I also hope that this is a bit of a lesson about internet safety and how much info you put about your personal life online.
Hungry_Share_4158: You are an abusive person and it’s important that you acknowledge that you use your trauma as a justification for it. Please bring this up with your therapist.
abbadactyl_: At least I have a therapist, unlike someone here
| 24 | 375.791667 | |
1674413421 | 1674422712 | t3_10iqye9 | t5_2to41 | 32 | FluffyCategory2538: TIFU by basically implying evolution is fake
This already happened about a year ago, but it is the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me andkeeps me up and night. I (19F) figured
talking about it would make me feel a bit better. Sorry if you were expecting drama, this isn’t dramatic at all, just embarrassing.
I graduated high school about a year ago. My very last presentation I had to hold was in biology and the topic was evolution. I have horrible stage fright and was also just generally pretty depressed and anxious around this time, so you can imagine how stoked I was. The presentation went terribly. I stuttered the entire time and lost
complete overview over my notes. My teacher kept interrupting me, because the research I had done apparently was not what she expected. My presentation was by no means trying to discredit the
theory of evolution, but the topic that was assigned to me was supposed to be about how science even got to the point of what we all know and believe today. I was supposed to mention some kinds of other theories there used to be and I guess somewhere in the process of trying to explain that, it got across as if I was saying the theory of evolution could be fake.
I cried right after I held the
presentation. My teacher did apologize to me because she kept interrupting me and ultimately made me more nervous than I already was, which was really
nice of her. But, you know. I know
people don't ever really remember other people's embarrassing moments, but god…. one girl that absolutely hates me definitely remembers this and probably
tells this story to her friends that also went to school with me all the time "that one girl that doesn't believe in modern biology", Little worries to have, yes, but they keep me up and night.
Thanks for reading…
TL;DR I held a biology presentation, but my anxiety and stage fright caused me to get so nervous that I implied evolution is fake and made myself look like I don’t believe in modern science.
lemurindependence: If it makes you feel any better, in grade 9 science I actually gave a class presentation trying to discredit the Big Bang theory by citing creationist propaganda (I was raised Pentecostal). I wasn’t extremely embarrassed until much later.
Strappedkaos: Why would you be embarrassed?
You brought up conflicting information to be discussed which is how you science, we will likely discredit the Big Bang theory in the future as we develop new technology and ways to more accurately get a better idea of the past. But because of how science works we will never have a 100% answer or we are no longer science focused.
lemurindependence: I get what you’re saying, but sadly, what I presented was complete garbage. It was not in the realm of scientific inquiry…think flat earth nonsense.
Strappedkaos: I understand, but to add a non biased point of view. At any age questioning something and learning from that experience is one of life's ultimate goals.
You learned and grew more intelligent, that's nothing to be ashamed of and in fact in today's age it's a great quality. Question, research, come to a conclusion based on available information and still keep a sliver of doubt active. It's science!
| 5 | 6.4 | |
1674416100 | 1674417940 | t3_10is15n | t5_2to41 | 16 | TempTinTG: TIFU by By using a stupid opening line
I, M18, sent a stupid opening line to a girl to get over my fear of rejection and try to make a friend. Her bio mentioned the word "d1ld0" so I sent her a text saying "I bet u don't have a d1ld0". She posted it on her story. I srsly didn't mean to creep her out. I just thought that's how people text strangers on Instagram. I have no friends who could have proofread the message and thought this would lead to a fun conversation. And now I feel trapped.
Naturally, I apologized when she posted the story. I realized that she might have received such texts from strangers before and felt uncomfortable. I wish I had realized this sooner.
Anyway, she hasn't replied to my apology. And I feel shitty. Like I will never be able to be a good friend to someone cause I am socially and emotionally stupid.
I thought I would have had a new friend, but I might never make friends again.
TL;DR I sent a risky opening message and the woman posted that shit on my story.
KaptainKibs: You gotta talk to girls irl man, usually sending Dms or snaps isn’t gonna lead anywhere. But you just learned that the hard way, sorry bout that
TempTinTG: Thanks a lot for the advice. Will keep it in mind.
KaptainKibs: I use to try what you’re doing rn and it literally never worked. It only worked one time on a hoe. I made a fool out of myself so many times bro, but you getting posted on a story is extreme rejection so the worst has already happened. The only way is up now
| 4 | 4 | |
1674330331 | 1674342189 | t3_10hzqpt | t5_2to41 | 16 | regretteditt: TIFU when best friend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes
Bestfriend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes
throwaway bc it's better that way
TIFU when my best friend (18) and I(19) were on the phone, it was late into the night and we had some tension in the past, and they were dropping hints quite often earlier on, and the question of what we were came up, and one thing lead to another and my best friend asked me out to be in a relationship , I got carried away and said yes. I don't know what I was thinking when I said yes but there were a lot of things, and then they started talking about the long term and I got scared and I started regretting it shortly after.
So I called back and said that I'm nervous about the whole thing and whether it would work out in the long term because we were so far apart from each other and we've never met each other irl, and I was not sure if I reciprocated their feelings enough to have the will to make it work, so I said that we should not label it, but I guess I communicated poorly because it didn't get through properly.
The next day when I had slept over it, I regretted it a lot because I felt that I would be the leading them on, when it just didn't feel that natural. I thought it would be better to have this clarity between the both of us sooner than later, because it would hurt more, so I told them that in as many words that night. They were in tears.
I fucked up big time and I genuinely feel terrible about it, it's as if I raised their heart up above my head and smashed it to the ground into a million pieces. I don't know if I did the right thing and if I didn't, what went on in my mind when I said yes that night when I wasn't sure about it. I made it so miserable for her.
I made her cry and my heart felt so heavy, and I apologized and I understand if they cannot forgive me for what I did. I also said I needed some time apart.
I care about them a lot but I wasn't ready to be in a relationship and date them. I long to have some sort of closure and hope to be back on terms with them.
I dont know what to do next and how do I get over the guilt of how much I fucked up
TL:DR best friend asked me out, I got carried away and said yes, regretted it and then told them it won't work out, made them cry, feel terrible
MSGRiley: You sound like the kind of person who's completely unsure of yourself, what you want, who you want in your life and what you want to do. There's nothing wrong with that.
You should probably make certain that as people get even remotely close to you, they get that warning until you have more of an idea of who you are.
blahbleh112233: Yeah, man. Sounds like my man just straight up panicked at the possibilities, especially considering they never met. The first response was pretty valid, 2nd is sheer panic button reaction
MSGRiley: Again, nothing wrong with being unsure of what you want and who you are, but people catch feelings so... maybe want to let someone know.
blahbleh112233: I'm not disagreeing with you. His first response was frank and pretty self-aware given the circumstances of the relationship. Him pulling the plug almost immediately after on the fear that it wouldn't work out sounds like panic to me
MSGRiley: Didn't think you were. Just for anyone else reading didn't want to be misunderstood. I agree. Not knowing who you are means when that self defining moment comes, all kinds of crazy things can happen.
| 6 | 2.666667 | |
1672586529 | 1672602191 | t3_100ls86 | t5_2to41 | 93 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my partner sex advice
[deleted]
Limp_Will16: I will say “p ssy” is a sexy word for some people. Just like “b tch” or “daddy” some people like those words, some people are neutral, and some people have negative reactions to them. If he had a previous partner that liked it, or didn’t mind it, it could be confusing to be told that “that’s not sexy” full stop.
Temporary_Argument15: The way you’re saying it matters too, as well as if it’s the vibe for it.
Liamt2311: “Thou Pussayy feels stupendous” usually lands well for me.
| 4 | 23.25 |
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