start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1674417409 | 1674419149 | t3_10isk92 | t5_2to41 | 2 | JustAnotherSaddy: TIFU
[removed]
Icy_Engine_7648: It appears you've hit a nerve
JustAnotherSaddy: Right??!!!?? I’m now honestly wondering based on his reaction. But I rather not know because once I do, divorce will get messy and I will get very vindictive..
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1672588076 | 1672629115 | t3_100mag4 | t5_2to41 | 40 | BraveryBlue: TIFU by letting my cat out on NYE
I live in a small 1 bedroom apartment with my 6 year old cat, Hongo. It's NYE and with the fireworks and celebrations going on he was more hyper than usual and begging to be let outside. Hongo has a history of fighting with other animals and causing mischief and for the last 3 years has been indoors as result. He was begging to go outside. Like this cry and whimper that is so heartbreaking and manipulative I finally gave in out of frustration and let him out, then forgot about him after I dove back in to my late night video game binge for the holidays.
5am, just getting into bed and I can smell really potent yet familiar skunk smell and I knew immediately what had happened as this wave of panic and regret jolted me awake. Sure enough, on the door step is Hongo patently waiting to be let back inside.
And OMG if you think you know the smell of skunk, you don't. It is SO MUCH WORSE than you can imagine!Instantly my eyes well up in tears, no, not with empathy but a tangeable wall of utter stench which soon after had me wretching and gaging. Before I could react to the assault of my entire being, Hongo immediately runs to the bedroom and jumps on the sheets. There is this pysical sensation that comes with this particular sent that invokes a synesthesia-like assault that you can touch, taste, smell and hear it's so violently awful.
WTF do I do now? Well I'll tell you first what not to do:
Pat down with a wet towel mixed with some (pet safe) lavender oil. It made it worse. Like the smell of dirty burnt hair, rank garbage water and body oder that lingers in the back of your throat and tongue, but now with a hint of sweet floral undertone.
(( Up until now, I didn't think anything could be worse than the time he shit himself in his carrier as we went though airport security minutes before we borded a 6 hour flight, which itself is worthy of TIFU post. ))
Now the panic sets in. Okay Google how long does skunk spray linger on a cat? THREE WEEKS? What do I do? Deskunk remedy? It's 5am on January 1st in a tourist town. What else? According to Google a mixture oh Hydrogen Peroxide, Baking Soda and Dish Soap thorough bath and rinse is the absolute minimum. Luckily I got that first-aid kit and had the supplies I needed to get started. Problem now is that Hongo hasn't had a bath since he matured from adolescence. Hongo is an exceptionally large muscular alpha male Chad of a cat, in my tiny bathroom that's barely large enough to even shut the door this will not be easy. It wasnt.
But here we go, bathtime! My eyes watering so bad I can barely see. My hands crusted in this destenching home remedy unable to wipe away the sweat and tears from my face while wrestling with this beast who is wailing sheer bellows of torture that if it weren't for the blaring music from my neighbours' party would surely have woken then dead. I literally had to use all my limbs to pin him down to get his belly and the damage he did to my skin may be permanent scarring. That wasn't even the worst part of the bath. I puked up a bag of Doritos and Coke Zero (pro-gamer food) into the sink and much like my eyes, couldn't wipe away the mess. After flooding the floor using bowls of fresh water to rinse him thoroughly I'm certain I'm going to have to burn every towel I own and the bedding he jumped on earlier. No home remedy is getting those towels clean again.
Some further tips included leaving dishes of vinegar around the house to help destink the place. Every window, door, fan, AC and running in January.
Next was to jump into the shower and scrub the remaining shreds of skin I have attached left to my limbs clean. I've quarantined the bathroom entirely at this point because no essential oils or vinegar will be fixing the skunky-dorito-coke-sick-soap-slurry left in the wake of the bath.
Well hey, it's 6 am and the first sunrise of the new year is happening on an otherwise beautiful morning, what's next? Wrangled up all the tainted laundry to be terminated and just sat there on the floor having an extended period of eye contact with that little bastard rubbing oils under my nose to help with masking the smell like it's the black plague again. I want to feel bad for him but considering his size and prowess I'm sure the skunk wasn't doing too well either.
So much for sleeping today. 6 years of this cat sleeping in bed with me every night will not be an easy habit to break. So here I am writing this post through puffy red blood shot eyes, bloody fingers and this lingering flavor of repulse permiating my entire life that Today, the first day of 2023, I Fucked Up.
TLDR; Let my indoor cat outside who got sprayed by a skunk and immediately ruined my life.
Happy New Year 2023 Everyone!
wetspaghetti420: Tomato soup gets rid of skunk odor
BraveryBlue: You're the first to comment this here but everyone I've spoken to today has mentioned this. Apparently there is a phenomena with the tomato juice masking the odor, but not neutralizing it.
disarrae: Yeah, it never works, just smells like rotten tomato and skunk.
| 4 | 10 | |
1674180759 | 1674672388 | t3_10gkho1 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Nuggs_and_drugs: TIFU by getting drunk and cheating on my boyfriend
a lot of moving parts to this story so bare with me.
so firstly let me start by saying that i completely regret this action and honestly am ashamed of myself. but i did it and i need to face the consequences. anyways i’d thought i’d share this cuz it quite literally has imploded my life.
so it was my friends birthday and we all decided to head out downtown. the group consisted of my female friend (the birthday girl) her two other female friends, a male friend (let’s call him h) , and me…also a male. so we’re all walking around having fun and just vibing. we were talking and the topic of dating came up and i mention i have a boyfriend. h too says he has a boyfriend and so we both like show off our baes and whatever. we then made little jokes at the rest of the girls for not having boyfriends. but anyways after that someone pulled out some vodka that they had brought and we all started drinking from the bottle. i got drunk because i was not really thinking and just wanted to have fun. h drank too but i could tell he wasnt drunk. anyways so we end going to a big department store and me and h split up from the rest of the group. we go to a different floor and keep on chatting. im really hitting it off with him atp. like he is super cool and funny and exactly my type. but in my brain i was thinking calm down dude this man do not want you he got a whole ass man and you do too so simmer down hoe. we then end up walking in to the bathroom cuz h needed to go. so i go and wait by the sink and wash my hands. i wait for h to finish up and wash his hands.
this is the part of the story where i become a horrible fucking person.
so he turns around to go to dry his hands and i grab his hand and say wait. he turns to me with a smile on his face and he tells me what’s up. i tell him well what if we yk… and he says i mean idk im down. and im like okay. so we proceed to head into the big stall at the end and do some certain activities together. we finish and leave and act like nothing happened. we get back to our friends and im just sitting there thinking holy fuck what did i do. but my brain is too drunk to hold a coherent thought so i kind of just forget it(?) anyways that’s the big chunk of the story. you can stop reading there if you want but there is more that makes this exponentially worse.
so this dude recorded me. like an actual video of us doing stuff is on his phone just ripe for the sending. first of all that’s just really embarrassing like being apart of someone’s kind of porn stash. and second i’m nervous he’s gonna send it to my bf
also he told one of the friends about it. and that fucking sucks
and for the worst part imo, my boyfriend is kinda missing atm. i mean he hasn’t answered his phone or anything and i’ve asked a few of his friends but no one knows where he’s at. so that makes this worse because i can’t just rip off the bandaid and say hey babe i messed up i’m sorry let’s work on this together. also i’m pretty sure he’s in rehab because he mentioned trying to get into a program recently. so that makes it worse cuz he’s going for me basically since i’m the one who always is pushing him to quit drugs. So now how am I supposed to tell him? Hey, I know you went away to help yourself because of me but I cheated on you while you were doing that for me.
anyways it’s been a lot of stress and confusion on me to figure out what to do
edit#1 - grammar and spellcheck
UPDATE: so i have talked with the guy in this story and he has assured me he deleted the video and has shown me proof. thank you to
everyone who was worried about that. my boyfriend still is mia and i’m really getting worried. slowly this whole fuckup is getting resolved so i’m glad about that
TL;DR - i got drunk and made moves on a dude who is my ideal dream dude despite me having a boyfriend and him also having a boyfriend. all this plus the fact that the dude recorded us, him telling a friend of ours, and my boyfriend is currently missing (i think in rehab) this is ofc gonna change our relationship and honestly there’s so many ways this can go i’m conflicted
jtfolden: What exactly are you even doing to find the missing boyfriend? This entire story is trivial nonsense compared to the extreme lack of care that someone has been MIA since the beginning of the month…
Nuggs_and_drugs: i mean there’s not much left that i can do. i’ve contacted his friends, gone to his school, gone to his neighborhood, called the local jail to see if he was arrested. i haven’t gone to his house cuz i don’t know where he lives and i don’t have his family’s number
jtfolden: That’s kind of weird that he’s your bf and you don’t know where he lives.
Nuggs_and_drugs: it’s not weird at all imo. he has his reasons for not bringing me over and they make sense. i know the area he lives in and even the street just don’t know his house number.
jtfolden: Yeah I’m sorry but between not knowing where he lives and the fact he might go to rehab without telling you - that’s just weird to me. That’s a shocking lack of communication. Being ashamed of his home environment or his family, etc, is completely understandable. Not actually knowing his address or having any way to verify his condition with someone else who knows him is really weird. I hope he’s ok. If my bf was missing for more than 48 hours I’d be pounding on doors.
| 6 | 0.833333 | |
1672593224 | 1672593633 | t3_100o3qt | t5_2to41 | 22 | Unhappy-Confusion-94: TIFU by falling asleep on shift.
I'm gonna need some help with this one.
For reference, I work a customer service, work from home job. Hopefully no one from work sees this lol.
Given all the new years parties going on, my neighbors music was thumping away till 4am meaning I had less than 5 hours of sleep for my 9am shift. Usually, when I find myself up at that time, I don't bother sleeping or I'll just oversleep (which happened in th past).
Anyways, my lunch break comes and I decide to go lie down in my bed for a sec and just scroll through social media. Well.... I then find myself being bombarded by missed calls from managers asking on my whereabouts. I quickly get up and hop back in and had to respond to their messages eventually. My dumbass responded,
"Hi, yeah sorry didn't see these messages, been here the whole time"
If you can't tell, in a shitty liar lmao.
Anyways of course they're asking questions why I was gone for 2 hours and had myself in lunch status. I said that 30 mins was spent on lunch and 15 mins was spent on break. I also mentioned I forgot to take myself off of lunch break. So that leaves 1hr 15mins of nothing. They're going to raise this with my manager and I expect a call from him later this week.
This might be a dumb question, but is there any way I can save my ass? What would be a reasonable explanation.
I'm not too worried as I'm leaving in 8 shifts now, but ideally wanted to end things on good terms.
TL;DR - Fell asleep whilst working and I can't find a good lie to get out of it. I just said I was looking through the emails and couldn't find I could be bothered to do.
BizarreSmalls: I mean, you could just...not lie
Unhappy-Confusion-94: I guess so, but they're gonna go crazy when they find out my ass was catching z's and being paid for it lmao.
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1672593330 | 1672594489 | t3_100o56h | t5_2to41 | 267 | Cheesenips069: TIFU. Happy New Years, you filthy animals.
TIFU (Yesterday technically, but just learning about it today).
So, two days ago: My girlfriend lets me know that she’s invited people for New Years this year. I have no problem with it, as we have a big enough place and I always love hosting events.
So, yesterday comes around. I go to the liquor store. I go all out, because New Years, right? 3 packs of white claws, a whole bunch of beers, bottles of whiskey, wine, the whole 9 yards. I don’t drink much, and have never blacked out. You can guess where this is going. I’ll make it short and sweet for you. I blacked out. Really bad blackout. I started drinking way too early, it was dumb looking back at it. But according to my girlfriend, I apparently took off all of my clothes, doused myself in vegetable oil (so I could be slippery so no one could grab me I guess?) ran around, and anybody that tried to challenge me on it I would yell “Fuck you! I am king of the castle! King of the castle!” (In a Borat voice). So yeah guys, I’m not drinking for a long time, and I am currently dealing with the fallout from my pissed off girlfriend, and the embarrassment of me learning I stripped naked, doused myself in vegetable oil, and ran around yelling in a Borat voice in front of about 30 close friends/relatives. Im just glad my saint of a girlfriend forced me into the shower before throwing me on the bed and making me go to sleep. Never again. Happy New Years folks, I can guarantee you had a better one than I did!
TLDR: I have very greasy hair today, because at the New Years party, that I hosted at my house, I got drunk, blacked out, stripped naked, doused myself in vegetable oil, and ran around my house yelling “Fuck you! I am king of the castle! King of the castle!” In a Borat voice to anyone who questioned my actions. I am not drinking again for a long time.
used_shoe: for a short moment, you really were the king of the castle.
Cheesenips069: I guess you’re technically right lol. I’m so embarrassed right now.
| 3 | 89 | |
1674249043 | 1674773201 | t3_10h89dr | t5_2to41 | 16 | TIFOOMERANG: TIFU by asking my friend out
So yesterday I sent a message on Snapchat to one of my best friends if she wanted to go do something after school/in the weekend (I wasn't really precise). She wasn't sure what to do, so I suggested McDonalds or Burger King (I didn't really care, I just wanted to hang out with her) and she said she had a very busy schedule. I thought she didn't want to, since that is **my** go-to excuse if someone asks me and I don't want to. So I told her "it's okay if you don't want to". Then she told me to "Calm down, I want to, I just don't know when". I wasn't really sure wether I had angered her, so I told her "oh, alright" and left her alone just in case. Today I messaged her again and asked her if she was angry with me yesterday. She didn't respond. I really don't want to lose this friendship ;-;
TL;DR: Asked a girl friend out for McDonalds, she might've gotten upset after I said "it's okay if you don't want to" and she hasn't answered any recent messages.
SunChipMan: Is that really all you said?
TIFOOMERANG: That's literally everything. I immediately freaked out and decided to wait until today to say anything else.
scr0tal: Bro if she said what you said she said. Just wait for her to message you
TIFOOMERANG: Yeah, that's what I'm currently doing lol
scr0tal: Good luck my friend. Hurry up and wait as I love to say. Haha
TIFOOMERANG: Ok I'll wait faster hahaha
gdoge7361: just found this post hope she does agree to go out with you and it goes well. i'm also autistic and to an extent have been in a situation that is to an extent similar coz i fucked in it to an extent. the possible fuck up was that the friend i liked went to a different college than me and i went to a college i didn't want to which wasn't near the college of the friend i liked. what makes my situation annoying is i could of got with her if i went to the college i wanted to go to but my dad told me to go to "an appointment at the college i didn't want to go to enroll there" and i got enrolled there. and a couple weeks at the college i decided to get the friend i liked and a friend of ours a christmas present and when the day came and i got them their presents and get home our friend told me that she was speaking to someone else and i felt as if i was used. and i thought at somepoint of the week i'll give her present to a girl at the college i had a crush on. but i decided not to. and a month after giving her the presents ( forgot mention got her birthday is after christmas) i'm still friends with her but i believe i could never like her the way i did before because she lied to me a week or 2 before i got her the present. ( at the time i didn't know.) i only see her as just a friend but someone i have trouble having trust in. i sorta believe that she never even loved me the way i loved her. and she only found out coz i trusted someone with my crush on her as a secret. theres multiple pieces of evidence that believe show that she didn't love me but i won't discuss them. but anyway hope the outcome for the situation your in goes the way you want it to.
TIFOOMERANG: Oh damn that sucks! Do you guys still have contact or no?
gdoge7361: yeah were still friends but i don't hold a grudge against her although she lied to me. happy cake day.
| 10 | 1.6 | |
1672597285 | 1672598031 | t3_100pmgh | t5_2to41 | 8 | atbg1936: TIFU by putting bananas in my backpack
This started two days ago, when I was visiting a friend in a small European city. Since most shops would be closed around the new year holidays, I bought some food, including two green bananas that I figured would ripen to the right consistency by the time I ate them. I originally had the bananas in a bag, but I later removed them as they seemed solid and I thought I would use the bag for some other food.
Fast forward to today, when I was taking a train trip to another city, and I put the bananas in the top of my somewhat full backpack before leaving. As I took a second (connecting) train to reach my destination, I noticed that the bottom of my backpack was slightly wet. Wondering what had happened, I opened it to find goo from one of the bananas all over the lower section of my backpack, including my laptop which was in the same compartment.
As soon as I got off at my station, I tried to get rid of how much ever I could - I was basically standing next to the garbage, frantically scraping away the goo into a garbage can in full view of passers-by catching their trains. Even worse, it got on my jacket and my backpack, so I looked like a complete clown at this point.
Thankfully, I got to my hotel without incident and was able to start cleaning everything properly. However, it took about an hour to deal with every single thing, especially my laptop which had banana goo in multiple ports (thankfully it's still functional.) My backpack is still soaking wet, and many of the items are in the process of recovery from the banana onslaught.
Worst part is that this isn't even the first time something has spilled in this backpack; last time it was a sealed cup of yogurt/fruit muesli that got crushed while hiking, and the stench was even worse...it took two full attempts in the laundry machine to properly wash it out. I think I'll never use this backpack again!
TLDR: I put two bananas in my backpack, one exploded in a lot of bad places
SnooBunnies7461: Well obviously you did.
atbg1936: I've done it so many times with no consequences. I guess it was coming, just wish it wouldn't have happened while I was traveling...the only worse thing would be if someone was traveling with me
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1674426160 | 1674427768 | t3_10iw3f9 | t5_2to41 | 47 | throw_it_away14: TIFU by sending nudes to a stranger
I know this is seen a lot but I just need advice for my personal situation. I met a girl on a dating app and she asked if I wanted to “have fun” I gave her my insta and Snapchat and sent a selfie, then she asked for a dick pic. Afterwards, she ghosted me for a bit and then sent a picture of my selfie next to my dick pic with some text saying I’d raped and killed a 3 year old girl and to send it to all friends and family to get the police on me. She asked for £100. She also sent a picture that showed she sent it to my sister but said she’d delete if I sent the money. I managed to negotiate £20 on Friday but I’d rather not pay, especially if she just asks for more. She rung on Snapchat (turns out it’s a he) and now through more extortion, has me in his phone contacts. I know I should tell my parents but I’m also scared of them judging me and if they want to go to the police I have proof but I don’t know if my nerves could handle being questioned. I’d need time off school as well which I have tests this week. I know I’m an idiot but with my loneliness and low self esteem I just wanted to have a fun time with someone, not even necessarily in a sexual way. I am underage by the way if that helps. Can someone just tell me what to do?
TL;DR: Stupidly sent nudes to stranger who now wants money, it’s only £20 so should I pay or tell parents?
Edit: Thanks for the help. Should I threaten with legal action before I block them or just block and report?
bartleby999: Is your face in the dick pic? If not. It's not your dick.
Inform the scammer you're underage - And tell them they're in possession of and distributing child pornography. They're in much bigger trouble than you.
Anyone who shares or recieves that picture are also in possession and distributing child pornography.
And yeah, as other guy said. Block them.
Don' pay that scum a penny. They're likely making empty threats anyway.
SithRose: This, and be more careful next time please. If you're underage and people are asking for nudes, that should be a huge red flag. If they're asking for money or it's too good to be true, or asking money to "meet you in real life", that's also a scam.
spazzyone: Especially dick pics 😂 [almost] nobody wants to see that
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1672598299 | 1673220483 | t3_100q0h3 | t5_2to41 | 451 | Ok_Carrot_1333: TIFU by complimenting my girlfriend's cock.
Obligatory this happened four days ago.
My girlfriend of two months is transgender, as I'm sure many of you internet sleuths may have already figured out, and as such, she's been very uncomfortable with intimacy. She was very upfront about her being transgender and not getting bottom surgery. I don't really care, but she's insecure about herself and her body, cause body dysmorphia's a bitch, and she wants to get herself changed. Whatever.
Moving on to when I fucked up, as said before, we haven't really been intimate. As said before, she's very insecure, and didn't really feel too comfortable with sex just yet. Until four days ago. She decided she was finally comfortable enough to have sex with me, and after some discussion, starts grinding up against me. Call the cops, I'm off me chops, this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. As she grinding up against me, I try to touch her cock. No dice, every time I try, she swats my hand away. Fair enough. Finally though, she feels uncomfortable enough to take off her pants and underwear, and finally, I see her penis. Holy shit, this thing was fucking huge. It was a mammoth of a cock, some type of shit you'd only see in porn, so I was in complete shock and awe. She sees me with my jaw agape, and asks me if I'm okay. With only two braincells working, I blurt out "nice cock," and give her a thumbs up. Horrible play by me, because my gf's eyes slowly filled with tears, and she pulled her pants up. I tried to console her, but she just shook her head and went to sleep. For the past few days she hasn't really talked much, and any attempt to console her has been shut down. She says she's fine, but she's clearly hurting.
TL;DR: Don't compliment your girlfriend's dick.
Pale-Vacation-8862: That's not a girl dude
EisregenHehi: The title clearly states "girl"friend
Pale-Vacation-8862: He's trippin girls don't have dicks
EisregenHehi: Dayum google the term trans again
Pale-Vacation-8862: Huh? What's that
EisregenHehi: Bro didnt manage to do one thing i told him to 💀
Pale-Vacation-8862: R u a girl or a guy?
EisregenHehi: Where is the context to this question 😭
Pale-Vacation-8862: Ur talking weird af
EisregenHehi: And ur asking weird af questions
Pale-Vacation-8862: Ur weird bro so weird lmao
EisregenHehi: Self projection goes crazy
| 13 | 34.692308 | |
1673716769 | 1674427791 | t3_10bttcd | t5_2to41 | 168 | LeftFootBeginner: TIFU I Destroyed my marriage
Today my marriage and whole life relationship came to an end because of me. I’ve been a narcissist motherf only caring for myself and not considering my partner interests.
A few months before getting married I cheated on her and now this awful event saw the light.
I truly regret what I’ve done, but there’s no forgiveness that I deserve. I only deserve to be alone for the rest of my life.
I deserve to feel bad and to be hurt. My family knows of what I’ve done and I can’t talk to them anymore. I live abroad also, so I might not ever come to my country again, just to avoid seeing or talking to them due to embarrassment.
I am writing here only to let myself out, embrace what a stupid being I am.
Feel free to throw shit at me, I fully deserve it.
TL;DR: cheated with my wife, she found out today. I destroyed my life and hers.
Flashleyredneck: You destroyed your life. She will move on and find better.
Carous: How did he destroy his life?
z-eldapin: Well, he used the words 'I destroyed my life', so that would be a good place to start
Carous: I destroyed my life. I said it too. Is it over for me now?
z-eldapin: Seems to be
| 6 | 28 | |
1674160695 | 1674181717 | t3_10gcj07 | t5_2to41 | 119 | Wonderful-Zebra-1621: TIFU by almost destroying the cornea in my right eye by squirting e-liquid into it
[removed]
iamthatkarma: Humans always amaze me. I hope that your eye gets better soon... Eye trauma is horrible. Ask me. I damaged my cornea apply mascara when I was 15. I should tifu how I almost went blind.
aint_it_aaronic: My toes curled. Eek!
iamthatkarma: Yeh, it was fun lolll
| 4 | 29.75 | |
1672599377 | 1672607931 | t3_100qf7s | t5_2to41 | 36 | tenderlauryn: TIFU by NOT knowing how to swallow a pill
Well! I learned an invaluable lesson today, and I sit here typing this on my phone while it feels damn near like my chest lost a fight with volcano, and the volcano now resides firmly in my sternum, sending fumes up and out of my throat that burn like the fucking sun. Happy fucking New Year.
I came down with strep throat a few days before the end of the year, and my doctor prescribed an antibiotic. I also recently was put on an antidepressant, and a muscle relaxant, AND a steroid, so I’ve been on this annoying pill-taking journey for the better part of a month. I don’t usually get sick often, but 2022 saw the end of my being covered by insurance, followed by the most consecutive visits to the doctor I’ve ever had in my life. Hurray.
All this to say, I’m not a person who takes a lot of medicine, really. I set alarms on my phone, and if you’ve ever been on an “every X amount of hours” medication, maybe you recognize the delirium with which I wake up at whatever hour, blindly scrabble for the right medication, down it, and then go the fuck back to sleep.
I’ve been trying to take my antidepressant at the same time every day, so naturally I picked an ungodly early hour, so I’m used to just popping the pill and getting a little more shut eye. Then comes the antibiotic.
So, my alarm goes off this morning. I shoot upright, grab all my pill bottles, grab my nightstand water bottle, and count them off in my head. “1 antidepressant, 2 muscle relaxant, 3 steroid, 4 antibiotic.” I down them each with water, and immediately lie down again, hoping for at least another half hour before I drag my ass out of bed.
Then I get that feeling. That “Ugh, I think I swallowed wrong,” feeling, where maybe you didn’t drink enough water or what fucking ever. I try to clear my throat, squeezing my eyes shut tightly and hugging my pillow, because no, not even this gross feeling will stop me from going back to sleep. I start to drift back to sleep. Mistake. Apparently.
A little while later I wake up to the most uncomfortable sensation in my chest. Feels like heartburn, turned up to ten, and my throat feels like it’s in flames. I grab for my water and down the rest of its contents to no avail. From the little research I’ve done since this morning, it seems that drinking enough water could’ve saved me, but I was much, much too late. Now I’m fighting this feeling that all at once feels like I’m gonna throw up, burp up the hottest gas bubble in the world, and have a heart attack.
I ran to refill my water bottle and chugged it again, trying for those painfully-too-large swallows in the hopes that it’ll free the pill that I’m assuming is stuck in my chest ??? Somehow ??? It doesn’t help. I’m too scared to google it at this point, but it’s either that or urgent care, and the latter seems embarrassing for “Idk I swallowed a pill wrong, doc.” Now the pain is making tears prick at my eyes, so I swallow my fear (painfully) and type it into Google. So! What did we learn today, class?
Apparently you’re NOT supposed to:
- Take pills lying down / take pills and THEN lie down
- Especially when with not enough water
- ESPECIALLY gel capsules
- ESPECIALLY ESPECIALLY if you’re a woman because of smaller anatomy or something stupid like that
Check, check, check, and oh what was that last one? Yeah, check. I’ve been chugging water, forcing a cough, and trying not to puke for the past two hours, and in case you may have forgotten, this is all still while I have strep throat. I finally found a bottle of Tums in the back of a cabinet, which the internet said might help, but I could feel like this for hours, or even days, with not a whole fuck of a lot to be done about it.
So here I am, raising my water bottle to another year, and another lesson I would have rather NOT learned the hard way. But I thought I’d share my story to pass the time, and hopefully to give someone else the knowledge I wish I had a few hours ago.
TL;DR: took my gel capsule antibiotic while lying down and while being a woman, and it caused pill-induced esophagitis, which feels like it’s burning me from the inside out.
PM_ME_FUNFAX: Another LPT here, when a medicine says take 3 times a day, it doesn't mean 3 times in 24 hours and to set alarms to wake up to take them. If it's 3 times a day, take 1 when you wake up, take another before or after lunch, take the third before or after dinner.
tenderlauryn: well that’s good to know 😭 feel like i’ve been taking the instructions a little too literally
PM_ME_FUNFAX: Just a tad yeah lol
| 4 | 9 | |
1672603871 | 1672651815 | t3_100s65p | t5_2to41 | 224 | Atmo0: TIFU by having sex in my parents converted truck.
So this actually happened an hour ago and as I was lurking in this sub for a bit in order to find some people who did more embarassing stuff for nye, I thought I'd just share my story too so you guys have something to laugh about...
So me (M, 22) and my girlfriend (F,19) are visiting my parents during our travels. My parents are fulltime travelers and they live in a converted armytruck. You guys can imagine the living area in the truck in about the same way you'd imagine a really tiny studioappartement. So it's rather small, something like 15 square meters in total.
We were backpacking for the last couple of months and plan on backpacking for a little longer, but decided to visit my parents where they are traveling at the moment, in Oman - a country on the arabic peninsula - for new years eve.
Since Oman is a muslim country and people there are rather strict we're not allowed to kiss, hug or hold hands in public. Naturally the sexual tension between us was a little high.
After a cozy dinner together, my parents left, to take care of some visa-related issues. We expected them to be back in 1-2 hours and saw our chance. Why we didn't just wait until we were in our tent (where we sleep during our visit) is beyond my understanding now. In the moment it seemed like a good idea and not like we're essentially having sex in their bed-/livingroom. So we're going to town in this tiny space without actually using their bed, which was a task in intself. We're half an hour in as we hear some noises outside and the realization started to hit a little too late for us to cover it up.
We tried to get as many clothes on as possible before the inevitable opening of the door happened. I managed to jump into the bathroom but my girlfriend was left to the wolves in the bed-/livingroom. She was wearing tiny shorts and was fighting with her blouse as the door opened. The situation was clear to everybody and my parents closed the door, walked away giggling and asking themselves if they've actually just walked in on us.
Few minutes later they returned and we had a casual conversation after we tried to apologize fully embarrassed.
I'm now in my tent and am still unsure what to make of this whole situation. Do we talk to them in the morning? Do we pretend it never happened? We're still visiting for another ten days, I'll make sure to post an update.
TL;DR Oman societal rules had me thinking with my dick too much so I ended up having sex with my girlfriend in my parents van's bed-/livingroom and they walked in on us.
Sorry for the bad formatting, I'm on mobile.
Weak_Swimmer: Pretty sure the giggle meant they are well aware of the situation. They are adults, and think of you as such, or else the incident would've ended differently.
vilidj_idjit: That's a bold thing to assume. Not everyone's parents have had sex at some point. 🤪🥴😁😆
pselie4: Technicaly, with modern medicine, this can actually be true.
FilthyGorilla44: Or just adoption tbh
| 5 | 44.8 | |
1672606143 | 1672627665 | t3_100t17g | t5_2to41 | 247 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a threesome to get my friend laid
[removed]
thisisghostman: "accident"
LisaWithStyle: Yes, it wasn't my plan for this to happen...
z-eldapin: That's not what 'accident' means
LisaWithStyle: How would you call it then?
AlphaThe7: Being a shitty ass friend choosing a random 6/10’s cock over your friend. That’s exactly what id call that 😂
osuzu: And then posting a pic of her and her friend asking to be rated lol yikes
AlphaThe7: 25 day old account with multiple posts “am I hot?” Weird as fuck lol
Bloodysamflint: Main Character syndrome.
| 9 | 27.444444 | |
1674434242 | 1674509398 | t3_10iz63f | t5_2to41 | 7 | adidasgymbag: TIFU by playing along with a prank
So for context I sometimes talks to my brother’s friends. I typically talk to one of named Steve these guys are in their early-mid 20’s and I’m still in my teen years. I talking to one of them on Discord and mentioned I talked to another one of their friends earlier. Let’s call this one Steve. Steve said I should message Mason. let’s call him Mason. Steve’s message was ,” would your Gf prefer a dashing young man like me? Or a bum like you?” I firmly resisted at first because I thought Mason would be pissed at me and my brother would also be pissed at me. I agreed only because I was reassured that, that’s the type of humor they go along with. Long story short he was not happy. Mason was pissed out of his mind. Steve told me to not say it was him and I should take the blame. I said we both should and he refused. I took screenshots of the previous texts the day of they were sent just in case anything happened. I was correct. Now Mason has blocked me before I could text him. And I’m worried my brother will be pissed at me. My brother gets back from a skiing trip on Tuesday.
TL;DR I pissed off my brothers friend with a prank that his friend told me to do .
ninpho2246: Young adult insecure of teenager lool something's happening that you don't know. Sucks for mason life gets better bro
adidasgymbag: Bro I’m just scared if my brother will be pissed.
Xannann: Then explain it to him and show him the screenshots. If he's still mad at you he'll be mad for a week and that's it
adidasgymbag: Yeah but he’s 26 I feel terrible every time my brother is disappointed in me. He’s the most successful in our family by far. I feel more recognition from him than my parents
| 5 | 1.4 | |
1673111651 | 1673170861 | t3_105u3ss | t5_2to41 | 24,159 | [deleted]: TIFU by going my entire life without washing myself
[deleted]
turbowhopper: I only recently learned that a lot of people, a lot, don't wash their assholes. A lot.
BummerComment: There are two types of people in this world:
Wipers, and WIPE-TIL-IT-BLEEDS'rs.
All non-wipers may exit planet.
LostMySenses: And then there’s the rest of the world, who use bidets like civilized people.
larrieuxa: Don't they just spray water? That's definitely not cleaning your ass and I'd be honestly worried that many bidet users don't actually clean their ass because they think just spraying water after shitting is enough. Also bidet use is associated with [increased vaginal infections in women](https://academic.oup.com/eurpub/article/28/suppl_4/cky214.049/5186378) since it's spraying shit bacteria around so as a woman I personally would never use one.
CoolWhipMonkey: I’ve been using one for years and I’ve never gotten an infection.
larrieuxa: Okay but the studies never say that 100% of bidet users will get an infection, only that it increases the likelihood...
Ganacsi: Billions of people in the east use it all their lives, if not an attachment, they use water in a jug, no way that’s worse than just TP.
Infection sounds horrific but that’s not a risk I have ever seen and they’re probably other factors involved.
larrieuxa: I provided a study showing that in fact it is a risk and in fact there is a link. Here's [another one](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21058441/), from Japan where bidet use is high. Anecdotal stories from your life aren't data, scientific studies are. And this one isn't even surprising, it's basic common sense that spraying water at your ass is going to potentially push fecally contaminated water towards your vagina and therefore increase your likelihood of infections.
Ganacsi: > Scientific literature about this topic is really poor, and it is mostly about the bidet-toilet, which is very different from the classical bidet where there is no presence of water jet at high pressure. Side effects of bidet-toilet remain uncertain and further studies, which include adjustment for several risk factors (such as personal hygiene, knowledge of cleaning procedures, level of instruction) should be conducted to obtain more reliable results.
Your own link states that in its conclusion.
larrieuxa: The second link I just provided you is specifically about bidet toilets, which is what the discussion is all about in the first place, and the conclusion is pretty clear.
> Results: Normal microflora (Lactobacillus species) was not present in 42.86% of bidet toilet users, compared to 8.77% of non-users. Fecal bacteria were detected in 50 of the 268 cases (18.66%), 46 cases in users (92%) and only 4 cases in non-users (8%). Contamination by other pathogens was 4 to 6 times higher in users than in non-users.
> Conclusion: Habitual use of bidet toilets aggravates vaginal microflora, either by depriving normal microflora or facilitating opportunistic infection of fecal bacteria and other microorganisms.
Ganacsi: > To date, a few studies have examined the effect of bidet toilet use on health. Ogino et al. reported that the habitual use of a bidet toilet promotes pathogenic changes of vaginal microflora [Reference Ogino, Iino and Minoura6], while Kohdaira showed that women who experienced recurrent cystitis more frequently used the bidet toilet [Reference Kohdaira8]. However, these two studies did not consider the possibility of reverse causation. Their studies were hospital-based and included female patients with subjective symptoms. Given our finding that 10.7% of female bidet toilet users had started using a bidet toilet to mitigate gynaecologic discomfort [Reference Asakura4], it is natural that the proportion of bidet toilet users is higher in those with subjective urogenital symptoms than in those without. Our present study, which took an account of reverse causation, suggested that active use of a bidet toilet may be associated with itching of the anus in the general population . Extreme use, namely use that is too frequent, too long or with too strong a jet, is better avoided.
A [more recent](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/epidemiology-and-infection/article/relationship-between-bidet-toilet-use-and-haemorrhoids-and-urogenital-infections-a-3year-followup-web-survey/B99EDC3FBD27791A762D7465422D6EB7#sec3) study which disagrees.
There is also the chance that they didn’t clean the attachments or bidet properly, its not a self cleaning tool and should be cleaned like any other toilet item.
What is the rate of incidence in non bidet using women? Do you have any studies of that t compare?
larrieuxa: I mean the study I *just posted*, and even specifically quoted in my comment, directly compared bidet and non bidet users right in the quote that I posted. I guess I'll post the exact same thing a second time?
> Results: Normal microflora (Lactobacillus species) was not present in 42.86% of bidet toilet users, compared to 8.77% of non-users. Fecal bacteria were detected in 50 of the 268 cases (18.66%), 46 cases in users (92%) and only 4 cases in non-users (8%). Contamination by other pathogens was 4 to 6 times higher in users than in non-users.
> Conclusion: Habitual use of bidet toilets aggravates vaginal microflora, either by depriving normal microflora or facilitating opportunistic infection of fecal bacteria and other microorganisms.
Ganacsi: Maybe I worded my question wrongly, I was asking about the other methods, there are more users of TP in the west, what’s the background level numbers for this problem that doesn’t come from this study, like how common is this problem so you can get a picture of its incidence rate in the population.
larrieuxa: I have no idea, and I wasn't trying to argue in favour of TP in the first place. I was simply saying that bidet users still need to regularly wash their asses with soap just like everybody else, because the person I originally responded to seemed to be implying bidet users don't need to.
Ganacsi: Ok, that person is nasty, no bidet rules out basic bathing hygiene.
larrieuxa: Yeah I mean they were likely just making a joke but I felt the need to put it out there that bidet washing does not suffice because I get the feeling a lot of people seem to think if you have a bidet then you're clean after and that's just not how cleanliness works... You need soap and scrubbing, water alone doesn't remove all the shit grease.
Ganacsi: Totally agree, I have lived in poor refugee camps, we used jugs as our bidet but still followed it up with daily scrubbing showers, came to live in the UK and saw TP as the mainstay, then hear people don’t wash that well with all the available facilities, horror to my ears, hygiene is a basic human requirement, use all the available tools people.
larrieuxa: Nope they just smear that shit around their ass cheeks and walk away and the only thing they wash in the shower is their hair. I've always wondered how people can pop in and out of the shower in 4-5 minutes and as I get older I realize it's because they don't clean themselves in there. So nasty.
| 19 | 1,271.526316 | |
1674435370 | 1674438982 | t3_10izkcp | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU Setting a Friend's Hair on Fire and Using Ketchup to Put it Out
[deleted]
adidasgymbag: Ain’t no way you pulled out ketchup.
Far-Hat3075: >Ain’t no way you pulled out ketchup.
Believe it or not, that's exactly what happened. In the heat of the moment, I grabbed the first thing I saw which happened to be a bottle of ketchup.
adidasgymbag: I get it’s like instinct to grab whatever is possible at first sight. But damn.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1673286630 | 1673295125 | t3_107ktdd | t5_2to41 | 18 | MrBleah: TIFU by hiring a guy to take down a tree who then dropped said tree on my house. With pics. LONG
This happened over fifteen years ago. TLDR at bottom with money shot.
My wife and I bought a house that is on a hill and surrounded by woods. One day, in those first years of ownership, I wander up the hill doing some yard work and I notice that the hill facing side of a large poplar tree is rotted away. This tree is only about ten to fifteen feet from my garage and tall enough that it would hit the house if it fell the wrong way. It's not in immediate danger of falling over, but I know it has to be taken down.
In these early days of home ownership finances were pretty tight. We didn't overpay for our house in that the value was right in line with the price, but we probably should have bought something cheaper. I did a lot of DIY work to keep expenses down, but I knew this job was clearly beyond my abilities.
When I start getting quotes to take down the tree they are pretty high. I mention needing to take down this big tree to my coworkers and they tell me that another person that works in our helpdesk group named Jim has a landscaping business on the side and has taken down trees for two of them at their houses without an issue and it's been very reasonable in price.
I called Jim up to have him come take a look at the situation. He came out and gave us a very reasonable quote. Now, here is where I fucked up. I did not ask him whether he was bonded and insured. Because finances were tight we had not hired any other contractors to do work on the house so I'm not sure it even occurred to me to ask at all whether he was bonded and insured. I just sort of assumed that since my coworkers had used his services at their houses it was all fine (it wasn't).
Even in my profound ignorance I did realize that this job was a big job and I offhandedly asked if he would have other people helping him and he said he would (he didn't).
A few weeks later, it's a fine summer day and Jim is scheduled to take down the tree. Around about 1pm I get a call at work from Jim. He is pretty shook up and tells me that the tree fell on the house. I'm in shock at this and tell him I will be there asap. My wife works for a different company in the same building and so I get her and we both head up to the house.
The house is a colonial and faces south, the tree was on a hill on the north side. The driveway comes in from the west side, so we get a sidelong view of the house as we are driving up and we can see limbs sticking out of the house on the south side. [This is basically what we see](https://imgur.com/g2rrYu1) when we drive up and I think, "Maybe it's not that bad?"
Jim is there and his Dad is also there. Apparently Jim felt the magnitude of this mistake was enough to call his Dad up to get him down there. Dad and Jim are trying to say things to me and I'm just not hearing them, because at this point I'm starting to see [the real extent of what he did](https://imgur.com/4AT0xDT). I do recall that this is the point where I found out he had no insurance.
Jim had decided with this tree that he would connect one cable to the upslope hillside and then just cut the base. That's it. The tree had a full canopy and he did not try to take anything off of it before doing this. I'm not sure what he thought was going to happen even if it hadn't fallen the wrong way as if it fell on the hillside it's quite likely it would have slid down into my garage.
Jim is not hurt at all thankfully and no one was in the house, though later my neighbor told me Jim screamed so loud when the tree came down that she went running over thinking he had been seriously injured, but the damage is pretty extensive.
I'm normally a very anxious and somewhat ADD person, but when the shit hits the fan there is this reflex inside me that just accepts what is going on and starts addressing the logical next steps in a calm and rational way, but my wife on the other hand is definitely not that way. She is yelling at Jim and his Dad while I just sit there contemplating what has happened and what I need to do. I pull my wife away from yelling at the two guys and we go inside the house to see what the extent of the damage is inside.
I'm prepared for anything at this point, but my wife is not. We go into the back bedroom and see [this limb](https://imgur.com/Yh3V37G) intruding into the house and she lets out this blood curdling scream like I've only heard in horror movies. I try to calm her down a bit and thankfully she doesn't go on screaming. I go into my office to get the number of our homeowners insurance and I call them up. They get on it right away and start the process of getting a team out there to remove the tree and shore up the house.
At this point I send Jim and his Dad away, because there is nothing they can do and I don't want them on the property anymore knowing there is no insurance on either of them.
I go up on the hill where the tree was and that's where I get [the money shot](https://imgur.com/6V3GF9m) of the carnage inflicted on my poor house.
Soon after, I get a call from the guys that have been called by my homeowners to remove the tree. They are on the way. These guys get to the house and there are three of them. They examine the situation and start working. My wife and I pull up a couple of our outdoor chairs and just watch them work as we try to come to terms with what has happened. My wife is drinking a cocktail that is straight gin.
They [attach cabling](https://imgur.com/aYK4nXV) to the tree in a [couple of spots](https://imgur.com/8INdWyA) and then attach the cables [to other trees](https://imgur.com/5B4g3dJ) in [the woods](https://imgur.com/dTsPOp2). When the cables are all set, they go up on the roof and start to [cut off](https://imgur.com/zOfv9vw) most of the top of the tree that is embedded in the roof. The guy [throws the log pieces](https://imgur.com/uTRwBtF) off the top. I'm not going to pretend I understand what they did exactly, but basically they had it setup so that once the tree got cut down enough they could just swing it off the house and [onto the ground](https://imgur.com/3bPKX6D).
As it swings off the house my wife and I are watching and it looks like it swings right in our direction for a second before turning and landing on the ground far to the side. When it swings in our direction for that split second I jump out of my seat to get out of the way, but my wife sits there laughing maniacally sipping on her cocktail.
It was really an amazingly professional feat of work that I hope to never have to see done again on my house. They cleaned up the remnants of the tree and then put a tarp over the roof to keep water out until repairs could begin.
My homeowners insurance paid to fix the house and went after Jim, but since he didn't really have any money or insurance I don't think they got much out of him. I never really got the details of what happened to him, because I didn't really care, but I heard he wasn't in the landscaping or tree cutting business after that.
I got a new roof and new vinyl siding out of this (the old stuff was aluminum and they didn't make it anymore) in addition to all the structural repair work that needed doing, but it really wasn't worth the trouble.
When I told my coworkers that recommended him what happened they remarked that the trees they had him take down were in open fields, not anywhere near their houses and that they had not asked him if he was bonded or insured either. I'd like to think that if I had known any of this I would have hesitated to use Jim's services, because any idiot can drop a tree in an open field and obviously you don't want uninsured people working at your house, but since I never asked we'll never know.
The really obvious lesson here is, check that anyone doing work on your house is licensed, bonded and insured. Most states have websites that allow you to check licensing and insurance for contractors. Take advantage of that. It's not impolite or unusual to ask contractors for this information, it's expected and if the information doesn't check out then don't use them.
**TLDR;** As a new and very ignorant homeowner on the recommendation of some coworkers I hired a guy that wasn't bonded and insured to take down a tree and he dropped it right onto my house. This is the money shot. [https://imgur.com/6V3GF9m](https://imgur.com/6V3GF9m)
bloodpartythesecond: Fuckin' Jim.
MrBleah: Thinking about it, it didn't occur to me at the time that someone could be that dumb. I was so naïve.
bloodpartythesecond: Some of life's "live and learn" moments can be pretty painful (not to mention expensive), but at least this one didn't hurt you physically.
MrBleah: Luckily, it hurt no one. Very lucky.
| 5 | 3.6 | |
1672611961 | 1672615169 | t3_100vdcf | t5_2to41 | 846 | CannaLover27: TIFU by doing my NY tradition
Hi everyone! Happy New Year!
This fuck up, literally just happened like 45 minutes ago and I am more than happy to provide receipts and I’m still laughing deep inside about the entire situation.
I recently moved to a new country and I’m sharing the house with other people, I have an entirely different space that I privately occupy that it’s very easy to forget that the noise I make can be heard by the others.
This is what happened… I have a tradition that I do every year on January 1st and that is to cry, cry a lot, cry about the sad stuff from 2022 while I visualise what I want for the upcoming year and I typically induce crying via watching sad movies.
Nothing too big, right? But that’s where you’re wrong… So, in the past I have been told by ex lovers and my best friend that I am at my ugliest state when I’m crying… Why do you ask? Their description of how I cry is simple “You sound like a cow being slaughtered.”
By now, I think you guys can tell where the story is going. But it gets better, as I was at the peak of my ugly crying like… the apex of my cry for the tradition, I got a call… a random number that I don’t even recognise…. But I’m looking for a job and really need the money at this point, so I kept my composure thinking it could possibly be an employer, I took a few deep breaths and I smiled, annoyed deep inside that my crying was interrupted I answered the phone, smiling “Hi. Happy New Year! Who is this?”, I heard a very frantic voice over the phone “Hello, CannaLover27, is that you? Are you okay? Can you hear that noise?” At this point I was really annoyed but then I started to realise who I was talking to hearing the echo of her voice from my phone and her part of the house (She got my number from the tenant group chat we have but I don’t have her number saved). I then started laughing hysterically and tried insisting that it was me that was making sounds. She insisted it was a ghost, I assured her it was not (This was a whole minute altogether convincing her it was not a ghost). After talking to her I immediately texted her and explained what was actually happening and then I called my landlord to apologise that she might hear a noise complaint and I told her the entire thing that happened. She laughed as well and asked me if she can tell her daughter, I said yes of course. Then I thought why not tell reddit? Now here we are! I hope you enjoyed my little fu of the year.
TLDR; I did my annual tradition of ugly crying. I forgot I do not live alone. Housemate heard me, thought it was a ghost and she called me almost crying on the phone.
Edit: Okay. Since this blew up, here’s the receipt from my housemate. There are 4 of us in the house, with the other 2 being away for the holidays. So it’s me and one more person. Do note that my landlord had also told me prior that 2 of the 3 left for the holidays so I know someone was upstairs. https://i.imgur.com/xiF5xID.jpg
YoggyYog: 😂 this is a pretty wholesome story
CannaLover27: I just hope I have not traumatised my housemate.
YoggyYog: You could invite them next time
CannaLover27: I think it would be very very awkward to cry with my housemate whose name I to be honest don’t even know. 🤣
| 5 | 169.2 | |
1673250034 | 1673252904 | t3_10789n0 | t5_2to41 | 72 | k6squid: TIFU by giving my friend advice (part 2)
Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/104iu2y/tifu_by_giving_my_friend_advice/
I had some requests for an update on my situation I posted the other day. Here it is:
Thanks for all the feedback and advice. I really appreciate it. Some of you are going to hate me because of my decisions. I'm ready for that. Most of you could probably care less. Hopefully this addresses some of the most frequent comments sent to me.
Buckle up, here we go:
As you can imagine, there has been a lot of discussion between she and I and I didn't really want to say much until I was 100% sure about what I was going to do. I did try to respond to the most thoughtful comments and I appreciate all the feedback. I shared the thread with her even though she isn't on Reddit, and she feels like I misrepresented things about the relationship. Maybe it's just because I was focusing on the FU, and also trying to maintain a bit of anonymity. I am human, so if I left anything out that would redeem her in some way, I apologize. She is more than welcome to come in and give her side of the story. I welcome it because although I know what happened now, I'm sure there is more I don't know about.
Let's clear some things up.
-So when I said she never had any money, it wasn't because she doesn't make money. She actually works two jobs, and makes pretty close to what I make. She has benefits and investments. She is just in a bad situation that I was trying to help with. She is going through a nasty divorce and the ex pretty much picked up and left. She is paying for everything they had built together with her income alone so that's why she was always struggling. She is not a deadbeat or a loser, just in a really bad temporary situation. As part of discussing her renting the place, we came together and put together a budget. A VERY DETAILED budget that takes all her income, compares it to her bills and debts and churns out savings investments and dispersible cash. I did this 7 years ago with my personal finances and it changed my life. She is more than capable of paying for the rent and having left over money for all the "extra curricular" activities that she partakes in. We moved her money around and paid off her debts and she is going to have like $400 A WEEK in disposable income after bills savings and investments. Not too shabby!
-Although we had been dating for 5 months, we had known each other for a little longer than 2 years and were really good friends. I knew her ex and he was not a good person. The divorce was not because of her, he treated her bad and they have already gone to court to finalize the terms of the divorce. There was no overlap between us dating and her separation, it wasn't sordid or inappropriate. Unfortunately, the rain for this break up is similar to why she is getting divorced. Infidelity on his end not hers. I can 100% confirm this because I knew him.
-I had also been in an off and on long term relationship prior to dating her, that ultimately ended badly and my ex had contacted her several times trying to cause drama. This was not a regular thing but it did probably cause some insecurity from her. There is more to this, but I prefer not to get into it but bottom line. I never cheated on her or text my ex or anybody else during our relationship. Hard stop. No contact. Nothing. I have a clear conscience.
Here we go:
So after the initial incident, I of course confronted her and she acknowledged the message. As discussed in the comments it was a "trickle truth" situation and she admitted to nothing that I didn't already know. Completely stonewalled me and apologized but didn't expand on the situation. Something seemed "off" though. Nothing she said added up. So I kept pushing and pushing and according to her, that was the worst that happened, a message. It wasn't the cheating that bothered me so much, it was the fact that I didn't know how deep the rabbit hole went. It was driving me crazy. Things have been really bad, then we are cool for a bit... Then really bad. A lot of this was triggered by Reddit comments that really made me question my reality. This all blew up beyond my wildest imagination and I did not expect this to gain this much traction. I really just needed to get my thoughts down so I could process this. I don't have many people I trust with this kind of thing. Reddit did it's thing. So anyway we had a good few moments and we ended up seeing each other.
Last night, she came over and we slept together. (Shut up). She was drunk and passed out immediately. I also fell asleep but was woken up by her alarm. She was so knocked out that she didn't wake up and I had to get her phone to turn it off. Trust is already broken so at this point I had no issues going through her phone again. (Shut up). This time very thoroughly. She had time to sterilize her phone and it was obvious she did. However, I still found a lot of messages between her and her ex best friend. Lots of code words. Lots of things that they both were hiding from me. Drugs. Her texting her female friend that she wanted to make out with her. Wanted her titties sucked. Pretty much what you would expect and what y'all said she was doing being my back. (Shut up) Timing me leaving her place and her friend showing up so they could get high.
They had a falling out mid December, and I saw the argument they had. In that argument I found that she had called her friend out on some "bad" things she was doing and her friend said something to the effect that she never called out my ex about her cheating on me. Lots more was seen and I also got personal confirmation from "sources", but bottom line, I 100% confirmed that she not only was sleeping with someone else when we first started seeing each other, but was also sleeping with a married guy (that I personally know) all of December. This is not speculation. It was confirmed.
She worked today and I waited until she got off before I confronted her with this information. Of course she denied it. As she does. Eventually she knew she was busted and she came clean. Admitted to all of it. She blamed it on my ex and her insecurity with that, so more bullshit excuses. Basically she cheated on me with a married guy because she thought I read going to get back with my ex. The mental gymnastics. (I know why she did it, and it had nothing to do with him possibly being a relationship prospect. She was ok being a side piece. The dude is decent looking guy so I'm pretty sure she just wanted to screw a good looking dude behind my back).
So I'm actually really good now. I know the whole truth. I know who she is. I know what she's about. I know that she puts up a veneer of being an amazing person (and she really could be if she tried) but behind that is a very damaged, very vindictive, very cold hearted person. The conversation we had was calm. It was straight to the point. She knew she was caught. She accepted it and finally admitted to it. End of story.
So we had discussions about what's next for us. We operate in the same circles. We know a lot of the same people. It's complicated and we don't want to blow that up. I explained to her that I'm emotionally disconnected from her. She's obviously thirsty. We agreed that our only interactions would be physical. At least until we meet someone else and decide to pursue another relationship. I know I'm gonna get shit for this by the Reddit hive mind, but it's what I'm going to do. Sorry, I'll take the hit for this and I'll submit another TIFU when it eventually melts down. I know the risks. Feel free to lecture me but it's what I've decided to do. (Yes condoms and I'm going to get tested ASAP)
We also discussed the rental place and I was really hesitant to go through with the transaction. Even though I could afford to pay for two mortgages, I really didn't want to. I looked into finding a different tenant based on the comments here, and I could have rented the place out with $500 on top of the mortgage. I know I'm going to get shit for this but I decided I'm going to stick to our agreement, but charge her more than what we had initially agreed to. I'm not going to make the $500 I could on the property but I know she is more than capable of paying the rent (based on the above) and my investment will bear fruit. She also has a roommate that is going to move in with her and pay towards the rent, so she is more than capable of handling it. I don't care if she's sleeping with other men in the property. It's going to be her home and she can do what she wants. All the upgrades and improvements of the home are off the table. The place is as is, and she can figure that all out on her own.
Side note, as part of her divorce, she had to allow her ex to go into the house to get so his stuff. Well he did yesterday and she has nothing. Literally no bed, no tables, no TV. It's all gone. We had planned for this and we were going to build all that up together and buy a bunch of really nice furniture and home things... Building a nest. Nope. Not anymore.
As far as the relationship, it's over. I'm completely heart broken over this but I'm surprisingly good. The not knowing was killing me but now I know and I know the choices I've made are based on hard facts. This chapter of my life is over (sorta). I'm excited to move on, close on my investment, and just enjoy going back to my uncomplicated life.
I know this is not what everyone wanted to hear. There is always nuance and I can't convey it here so that everyone understands. I'm not going to lie. Emotions are a big part of this decision and I know I'm going to get crucified for this. I'm sharing this because I don't have anyone else to spill my guts to. I know full well that I'm probably going to get burned, but I accept that risk.
Goodnight Reddit. Please be kind
TLDR: I got cheated on and posted on Reddit. I'm making questionable decisions, but I'm willing to accept the risk because reasons.
Ninja update: I have been banned from our social spot by the owner because of the whole situation. I am no longer allowed to be there under any circumstances. This is probably the biggest loss in all of this.
hidden-in-plainsight: Well, nothing we say will change your mind. It's made up.
Just try to be prepared for as many contingencies as you can.
And yeah, it's gonna get worse for you.
You're going to have to rent a place to her, and in the back of your mind, you'll have the thought of her bringing in dudes to screw.
I wouldn't have the strength to do that.
Perhaps I've been broken too many times.
Best of luck OP.
k6squid: I don't care who she screws. I want my mortgage paid.
hidden-in-plainsight: Good on you then!!!
| 4 | 18 | |
1674129691 | 1674490423 | t3_10fzyx8 | t5_2to41 | 175 | Cats_and_wine: TIFU by answering my phone
TIFU by answering my phone
TIFU by answering my phone when my SO called me.
Weve been together for almost 10 years,and have a running gag,where we answer the phone with jokes like "welcome to hell, what can i get you?" or as I did today "Crematory and Pizzeria- your loss is our sauce?" and thats where i effed up,because my SO told me "Thats why im calling, my Grandma just died"
I was so shocked that i couldnt say anything for a bit.
my So laughed and said its okay but still.
Its just a kinda small FU, but im not answering my phone with a joke for a bit.thats for sure.
I havent been so mortifyed in a long time.
SO said its okay, i couldnt have known but i still feel terrible, especially because i really loved that woman.
but i think she wouldve laughed about that,because her humor was terribly dark.
anyways, thats how i effed up today,and im still very ashamed about it, and it didnt quite sink in rn that shes gone.
TL;DR: I answered my phone with "Crematory and Pizzeria-your loss is our sauce" when my SO called to tell my their grandma just died.
EDIT: I told my dad about it yesterday evening and he laughed so hard that he started coughing......i think that kinda humor is hereditary....
ChaseAdams93: My aunt died this past weekend. I will tell you that if she heard that she would top it off with something inappropriate. She loved dark humor!
Cats_and_wine: sorry to hear that. hope youre doing okay
ChaseAdams93: So far still in denial because she was two years older than my mom. Expecting a text saying she just kidding. But I'm glad that she passed in her sleep. Docs helped ease her pain and anxiety as best as they could
Cats_and_wine: im so sorry. i can relate tho. feel free to message me if you want to talk.the funeral for us is set to happen next week and it still hasnt set in for any of us.
| 5 | 35 | |
1674436161 | 1674501425 | t3_10izue5 | t5_2to41 | 41 | Rootoky: TIFU by walking into a pop quiz high on Percocet.
This happened last semester. I had just shattered my foot and had hardware put in like two days before. As I walked to class the pain was starting to flair up again so I decided to pop a Percocet right before I went in. The pills were mine but I was not exactly “used to” them yet. This, on top of me being a very underweight person, made this rather irresponsible on my end. Point is, I hobbled in on my crutches and just found a seat up front by the wall in the corner.
Next thing I know, prof comes up knocking on desk telling everybody to turn in our tests. I look down at my desk and see a blank pop quiz that I had drooled all over for the past 90 minutes. I was still a little groggy but tried my best to play it cool. I jumped into the crowd of people walking up to her desk and slipped my wet ass quiz into the pile and tried to slip out unnoticed but the crutches made this impossible. Professor calls me by name and holds me back. Shit I’m busted.
She asks if I’m “taking anything for this” gesturing at my entire body.
“Just some mild pain killers. I’m fine. ”
“You sure? Cuz you just sat down and stained at that beige painting on the wall like it was a Picasso for an hour and a half”
I don’t even remember what ended up happening after this conversation except I obviously failed the quiz but was given a chance to retake another day for half points. I do know I needed my mom to come to the college and pick me up cuz I could barley walk in the end.
TL;DR popped a Percocet right before unwittingly walking into a pop quiz high as a kite.
Swedenesebishhh69: wow you have a no tolerance for percs..lol.
Jameschoral: r/foundtheaddict
Swedenesebishhh69: yes, former but definitely was
Jameschoral: Wow, that’s actually kinda sad.
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1672620237 | 1672675215 | t3_100yjwj | t5_2to41 | 127 | [deleted]: TIFU: making the developer of a game leave a server made for them
[deleted]
ThatsXCOM: If it happened as you said then your actions were reasonable.
However I am slightly suspicious that it happened exactly that way because moderators are as a rule, almost never even remotely reasonable.
RunInRunOn: OP might be a paid mod
ThatsXCOM: He seems ok.
| 4 | 31.75 | |
1672615977 | 1672674044 | t3_100wy1o | t5_2to41 | 29 | CRaftsman1459: TIFU By playing the wrong card
This happened last night at a small NYE party at my friends house. We’re all around 30yrs old and have kids. Around 9PM we’re all feeling a little tired, so I suggest we play Cards Against Humanity to get us laughing and keep us awake. The kids are playing in the back of the house so, we’re not too worried about then overhearing anything inappropriate. My friend and his wife are sitting next to each other and he pulls the black card, “Heaven is full of BLANK.” I chuckle to myself and play the card, “Dead Babies.” Which under any other circumstances would have been fucked up and funny. Until I remember that I had just helped them carry the coffin for their stillborn baby earlier this year. And I realize I have monumentally fucked up. I immediately got up and went to the bathroom saying I was about to wet my pants. I can’t believe I had let that slip my mind, and I feel absolutely terrible about it. The vibe was definitely different when I came back.
TL;DR Made a dead baby joke to my friends that recently lost their baby.
WYLDPUSS: Yep, you messed up, big time BUT it wasn't meant and it was a genuine f\*ck up, sit them down, if you can and apologise, then give them some time. We share the same sense of humour and I've put my foot in my mouth on many occasion.
CRaftsman1459: Yeah I’m going to call him tomorrow and apologize to them for sure. He knows I’m kind of an idiot and just say things without thinking. So hopefully he doesn’t hate me too much. He’s one of my oldest best friends.
WYLDPUSS: He's not going to hate you, as an old friend, I doubt this is the first time he's known you to say something daft. Keeping my fingers crossed that this all blows over in time and you might want to be a little more careful in future :)
| 4 | 7.25 | |
1674443702 | 1674607804 | t3_10j2cep | t5_2to41 | 32 | trying_productive: TIFU by making fun of a kid with a disability
[removed]
olduvai_man: WTF, how are you coming across the same way in the retelling as you do during the incident? I've got a permanently disabled kid, and you can't possibly fathom the heartache and loss that someone in this position is going through.
The reason she is even reaching out to you is likely because she is trying to maintain a social life and personality of her own because being a parent of a child with needs takes over your life and erases your identity.
The fact that you thought it would be appropriate to ridicule this kid, and find a way to insult her with your "apartment warming" quip in this post, speaks volumes about you as a person.
You sound like a terrible human being.
trying_productive: I know I’m trying to get my act together and my age excuses nothing. But tbh I didn’t think it was a such a big deal since she didn’t care. Your probably right though and I’ll apologize. I guess I don’t care because my family told me i did nothing wrong and she should’ve gave the kid up for adoption anyways. I don’t really know how Reddit works I just wanted to share the experience. Thanks for telling me your opinion I really needed this lol.
effitdoitlive: I think you meant to post this in the r/iamatotalpieceofshit sub.
trying_productive: Hey sorry I’m new to Reddit but all I see on that sub is like people stealing burgers maybe I need to look further.
BumpyNubbins: New to punctuation, new to empathy, new to common decency. Lots of (eventual) firsts for you, I'm sure.
trying_productive: This is off topic but are you like 50? Acronyms exist now. I don’t know I don’t rlly care abt punctuation when using Reddit.
BumpyNubbins: Holy fuck. That's really your best effort.
You are stupid.
trying_productive: This isn’t an essay 😭
| 9 | 3.555556 | |
1672629037 | 1672655592 | t3_1011oas | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a stupid bet with a friend
[removed]
AcrobaticSource3: Fuck Tom Brady
OkVolume1: I don't think Tom will agree to that, but who knows he is on the Gisele rebound.
| 3 | 3 | |
1672631880 | 1672665655 | t3_1012mhz | t5_2to41 | 4,763 | arxxv: TIFU by getting drunk and shaving the hair off from all over my body.
TIFU by getting really drunk and shaving hair off from all over my body.
Well, this happened two days back, but I am feeling the repercussions now. So two days ago, I got really drunk, almost wasted. I went to the toilet to take a piss, and while doing that, I look down there and it was an Amazon rainforest situation. And mind you, I am a hairy guy!
So, my dumb-ass, drunk-fuck mind comes up with a plan to get rid of it! I grabbed my trimmer and started trimming my pubes, but voila, the battery runs out, and my pubes were only half trimmed. So I do the most obvious thing, no, not charging my trimmer. I get a fucking razor and shaving cream and get right back to it. And I was drunk, so just forget my steady and calm hands. I go berserk, I shaved all of it, over and over, until the skin underneath was buttery smooth.
But no, I don't stop there, I get rid of my snail trail, my chest hair, my armpit hair, and of course, my ass hair (that shit is hard to reach there all by yourself)! At this moment, I am the happiest person on the whole god damn earth. Never have I done anything like this before. Completely clean-shaven and all. To top it all, I was very proud that I did all of this dead drunk.
The next day, when I was sober, I realized how badly I had fucked up. I have razor bumps all over my body, the hair has now started to grow, and dear me, it hurts like hell. And my miserable ass has to work, so I can't really lay down naked on my bed as well. The pain is constantly reminding me that I should never really drink again! Without a doubt the worst decision of 2022.
TL;DR: Got very drunk, shaved my pubes (even the ass ones), chest and armpit hair, got pretty bad razor bumps, and the hair growing back is straight painful!
Update: okay, I agree I fucked up and the pain is really bad, but who the fuck reached out to u/RedditCareResources lmao
Also thank you everyone for all the tips. Next few weeks are going to be a ride I never asked for!
StaringAtYourBudgie: Buzzing body hair down to a Wahl 1/2 - awesome
Shaving body hair and then letting it start to grow back - sucks
ichbinschizophren: yessss this solution is so under-utilised. A clean buzzcut > razor bumps, any day
drromancer: Shaved down there once. Never again. Buzzcut all the way
DerpMaster4000: This is the definition of youth vs experience. Trim? Yes. Shave? Nooooooo.
barbasol1099: A buzz will never give you that maaaagical smooth-legs-in-clean-sheets feeling (or smooth legs on smooth legs)
why_rob_y: Yeah, these buzz people are missing out if they've never gone completely clean-shaven. Is it like a person by person thing with regards to the problems growing back? I never have any issues or pain or whatever.
Sternfeuer: As a blonde man if i completely shave it down there and it regrows, the constant friction of cloth on the stubble leads to irritations. For me it doesn't hurt, but after 2-3 days it becomes itchy like hell (like unbearable) for another 3-5 days.
But i agree the feeling of being completely smooth is just divine. So whenever i shave, i try to do it daily unless i want to grow it back. But i'm not that hairy and have relatively thin/slow growing hair. For darkhaired/hairier men i can see it being a lot more effort/inconvenience.
BoysLinuses: There's nothing quite like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, really. I suggest you try it yourself.
| 9 | 529.222222 | |
1674448733 | 1674503834 | t3_10j3ya9 | t5_2to41 | 361 | CivVIRuinedMe: TIFU by making my grandma cry
I [20F] had plans this May. Specifically, they were to go to Spain for about a week, visit some museums, and finish by going to the F1 race. I already had my race ticket bought, hostel planned, and a solid budget.
But today, in my college dorm, I get a call from my dad. I’m no longer allowed to go to Spain. Apparently, they’d talked it over, including with my grandma, and they didn’t it was safe for me to be in a foreign country alone.
For context: I am capable. I am an adult, have no restrictions to my capability, am intelligent and resourceful etc. I was learning Spanish and working out in preparation for the trip. I was *ready.* Naturally, I’m not happy about his counteroffer—he takes me to a different race. I won’t get into any of the specifics of what we worked out (it’s all F1 jargon anyway) but we decided on something.
And then I take a step back. After we hung up, I begin to feel really awful. My parents just went behind my back and pulled the rug out from under me. They were fine letting me go until my grandma spoke up, and now they decide they don’t respect my autonomy as a person. I am an *adult*, I am using *my own money* to visit museums and a race, putting in effort to learn and better myself before it.
I call dad back. I tell him that I’m fine with the deal and I won’t push Barcelona further, but that I’m not happy that they didn’t think I was capable of being a responsible adult. That conversation ends up going exactly nowhere. I talk with my friends over some Panda Express, and they tell me in no uncertain terms that I need to stand up to them and not let my parents steamroll me. That I cannot settle for their replacement, and that I have a right to do what I want as an adult.
So I call dad again. I state the points my friends told me, how I’m really upset that my own parents think I’m naïve and unable to take care of myself on my own. Dad informs me that grandma was throwing some sort of fit, and he concedes to a better deal. I take it.
This is where I mess up. I call grandma. The way I see it, she’s the one I have a problem with. She went behind my back to get my trip cancelled, but I am mature and will confront *her* instead of complaining to mom like she did. I, and I make sure to do this tactfully and politely, tell her that I’m an adult and don’t appreciate her going behind my back to get my plans canceled. She tells me that I should respect my elders and she has experience that I’ll learn in time. I ask her why she thinks Barcelona is more dangerous than Chicago (the city I live near and have been through alone.) Eventually it comes out that her neighbor, whom I have met exactly once, was a an undercover DEA officer in Detroit and *he* would never let *his* granddaughters travel alone abroad.
I’m so glad that now my personal decision is being made not by me, not by my parents, not even by my grandparents, but by an ex-fed who lives on my grandparents’ street. I get more upset, and my voice is cracking over the phone. I let my grandparents know that this is not their place to decide, and it *definitely* isn’t the neighbor’s place to dictate *my* travel plans, and hang up.
Apparently my mom had to deal with a long phone call from grandma, crying, after that. Mom called me a bitch. Maybe I am. But I was crying too, still feel betrayed and maligned, and disrespected. A review of my peers, who got the story as it unfolded, sided with me, but they know me. In any case, I feel bad. I even had to have my closest friend store my weed for me so I can’t get to it—I don’t want to use it all up in an attempt to feel better. That’s kind of besides the point, but I wanted to mention it.
Even woke up with a hangover today. It’s been *great.*
TL;DR: My plans get changed, so I confront the person responsible, who happens to be my grandma and is now crying.
*But OP, why couldn’t you just go anyway?: My parents help pay for my college. I can’t risk them cutting me off. Also, that would be a sure fire way to *never* be taken on a vacation or F1 race with them as a family again, and I have too-low self esteem to value my independence over that.*
Cloud463: Go on your trip as you planned it. Your future self will thank you.
CivVIRuinedMe: The deal I managed to negotiate actually isn’t that bad; I’m more upset about the disrespect.
I could have the F1 race in Barcelona and independence, OR I could have the F1 race in Austria (+ dad) on my birthday weekend AND the F1 race in Texas in October, and keep my savings. (And if tickets for October aren’t available by the time we can pay, I get to go next year to that one instead). It’s a good deal, and while I’d love to stick by my guns, I can’t pass it up.
It’s the pattern of disrespect I truly care about, not specifically Barcelona.
Topinambourg: Being on your own in Europe is a much more interesting and life changing experience on so many levels, than going with daddy anywhere. If that's what you prefer, sure, but you're just pushing dust under the carpet, the problem will arise again, until you stand up for yourself, instead of entering some kind of negotiation with daddy.
ShaderzXC: You might be looking at it the wrong way. The older you get the less time you spend with your parents, and considering OP is in uni she’s probably already spent 80% of the time she will ever spend with her Dad in her life. If she genuinely likes her Dad then going with him isn’t a bad idea at all
CivVIRuinedMe: Yeah, it’s not so much that I don’t want to go with my dad (I like spending time with him, and he can save my seat when I go to the bathroom etc), and more so that they don’t trust me to go alone.
With the new deal, he’ll accompany me to Austria and I’ll likely go alone to Austin. In the USA, so (hopefully) no complaints from others. I’m fine with this. It’s not Barcelona that’s my target, it’s respect as an adult that I’m after.
| 6 | 60.166667 | |
1672634495 | 1672639315 | t3_1013huf | t5_2to41 | -9 | VictorGodAmSullivan: TIFU by taking out my garbage infront of my neighbor.
[removed]
Hk-Neowizard: Weren't you 31 y/o in your last confession? And 17 before that one
How about you find a less pathetic hobby. Serious, this isn't as edgy as you seem ~~yo~~ to think. Just getting a couple Redditors angry isn't as cool a bit as your friends tell you it is
VictorGodAmSullivan: Nah this is my first post here
mytodaythrowaway: you're not very clever are you.
| 4 | -2.25 | |
1674453865 | 1674477125 | t3_10j5gl7 | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: Tifu by being alone in a joke that turned out to be cruel.
[deleted]
fliguana: Lies are only funny when they are absurd and outrageous.
And even then..
blacklite911: To him saying “this afternoon” seemed absurd
watermelon_slaughter: also considering he had seemingly informed her not long before that he wouldn't be able to come...like, i guess it wasn't a great joke but from what I understand i don't think he had reasons to take her question seriously. i guess the biggest issue was not noticing her behavior on the phone afterwards
Contank: I read it like he said he couldn't come early so she asked when he would come likely expecting the answer to be in the month they originally planned for. When OP instead replied this afternoon she thought he had actually been able to make it and got excited
| 5 | 7.4 | |
1674458134 | 1674500234 | t3_10j6la0 | t5_2to41 | 7 | naeaeh: TIFU, by showing my dad my favourite youtuber
[removed]
CBGN4RLYY: I think you have an unhealthy obsession with a social media influencer
Devittraisedto2: Dunno how you think this is an actual post and not a shitpost
Lokivstheworld: Definitely exaggerated but still an unhealthy obsession. With either some youtuber or making up stupid stories on the internet.
Xannann: You're totally right man. Thank God people like you realize it so he can recognize it himself and get some help🙏Then maybe he'll realize he needs 2 other people to find his dad so he should get his mom and sister.
Lokivstheworld: Nice.
| 6 | 1.166667 | |
1672637174 | 1672705542 | t3_1014cgn | t5_2to41 | 206 | Consistent_Spell_424: TIFU buying my puppy a new toy
I bought him (5mos) a new chew toy that squeaks. He's some kind of mix. He looks like a Jack Russell right now, and about that size, but he will get much bigger to large dog size. He has/had other toys, like stuff with ropes, tennis ball with rope through it, and a couple of old socks he snatched. Not thinking ahead, he clearly chewed those things up. So I got him a rubber chew toy since he loves this other rubber thing, and I thought it would be fun. And he loves this new toy and so cute playing with it. Now he's discovered how to make it squeak, so he wants to write a song with it 😄. He's so cute. It definitely keeps him entertained and occupied. He has the zoomies right now going absolutely crazy with it. Squeak, Squeak, Squeak, Squeak
bros402: Keep an eye on it - if he tears it open, those squeakers are tiny
Consistent_Spell_424: Thanks. I definitely will. He tears up everything.
bros402: if you haven't already, look into Kong toys - my dog fucking LOVES Kongs
Consistent_Spell_424: Thanks. I will do that.
| 5 | 41.2 | |
1673916391 | 1673960796 | t3_10dxz6d | t5_2to41 | 3,736 | midnightslikethis: TIFU by waiting too long to tell him that I love him
Me, 26f, and my ex-boyfriend, 25m, broke up three years ago. There was always a sense that we might get back together, maybe get married one day, and that we were just too young when we dated to be in that kind of long term relationship.
I’ve dated other people, even fell in love again, and spent a good amount of time being single. Over the holidays, I realized how much I truly love my ex and that I want to be with him. That he’s the person I want to share Christmases and New Years and all of life with.
About a year ago, he told me I was the love of his life and that he wanted to be with me, but I wasn’t ready at the time. I didn’t want to commit to him if I wasn’t sure I really could.
Yesterday, he came over to my apartment and I planned on telling him how I feel. But before I could get it out, he told me he’s dating his roommate :’)
tldr: I was going to tell my ex I realized I’m in love with him but he’s dating someone else.
edit: Okay I’m not going to defend myself and explain years long relationship dynamics and thought processes to strangers on the internet. I honestly just was trying to vent and didn’t expect such backlash and, frankly, misogyny. Thank you for the comments that are understanding and supportive.
MightBe_YourDad: If you say you've always felt like he was the one, how could you not have been ready to tell him a year ago ? I'm not judging at all because I'll tell you myself that I've pretty much nose dived my relationship w my ex right into the ground.. but it sounds like you weren't done "seeing what else was out there" a year ago and expected him to be perpetually sitting in sadness waiting for you to get over your exploratory phase... Or am I just a moron and way off?
midnightslikethis: I don’t regret telling him I wasn’t ready a year ago because I wasn’t. I didn’t want him just sitting around in sadness waiting around for me and I knew that this could be a possible outcome, it just sucks that the timing misaligned.
theProofIsTrivial1: What do you mean by ready exactly? Ready for what?
As long as I understand when you say ready is ready to commit to him. Why weren't you if you always felt like that? Am I missing something?
WhyLentils: I don't understand this either. It's not that hard to be happy guys!
Medical-Passenger560: What makes you think that being happy equates to being in a relationship ? One can be happy being single and just not ready to be in a relationship and all that entails .
UndeadBatRat: Yeah but in this case, OP is clearly bummed out about missing out on ending up with him. That's a lot different than being happily single
Medical-Passenger560: True, but op mentions at the time, she wasn't ready.
| 8 | 467 | |
1674460143 | 1674593636 | t3_10j72v2 | t5_2to41 | -4 | justheretowatch-1184: TIFU by getting drunk
Obligatory it happened 2 days back. My (18f) friends and I went drinking 2 days back. My best friend Sasha’s (18f)boyfriend (20m) also came with us. I am a major lightweight and got drunk very fast. I was going around biting people who were with us and ended up biting Sasha’s boyf really badly to the extent that he has bite marks. I tried to laugh it off but when Sasha told me it wasn’t funny, I felt guilty and started crying. Sasha’s boyfriend at that time told me that it was ok. Yesterday I met Sasha and her boyfriend but we didn’t really talk because we were at a friend’s father’s funeral. Today Sasha was very distant from me which I of course understood so I also gave her some space. I spoke to Sasha’s boyfriend and tried to apologise but he told me that we weren’t going to be cool for quite a while now. The last time I got drunk and out of control was around 10 months back when I decided not to drink to lose control ever again. It was a happy day so I drank and regretted it so much. I feel like I may have messed up the best friendship in my life with Sasha because of something as horrible as alcohol.
TLDR: got drunk and bit my best friend’s boyfriend and potentially ruined the best friendship I’ve had till date.
killerkow999: While I understand where you were at from past trauma I would've drop kicked you out a second story window or went into a severe mental breakdown, that is just kinda a weird way to mess with people and you don't know how they are going to react
WalkingThyroid99: Bit much ain’t it?
killerkow999: When you get shot back over ten years having a flashback over what is happening at the current time but you're in a 3rd person view you don't justify between "a bit much" and just right honestly I have had panic attacks where I seriously can't control what the fuck is happening that's why my stepdad had to go to court for a domestic with his shit split. For reference on a regular day I wouldn't dare step to that man let alone raise a hand so the answer to your question is maybe but I can't stop it either way and well you provoked me
Theometer1: r/iamverybadass
killerkow999: Actually that's toned down
Theometer1: r/imsuperduperbadassdontfuckwithmebro
killerkow999: Whatever you say man
| 8 | -0.5 | |
1672637950 | 1672671611 | t3_1014l3b | t5_2to41 | 184 | Empty-Sea8554: TIFU by letting myself get into a stupid argument with my brother
Me and my brother have always had a rocky relationship and many past conflicts. I was born being the most social person in my family (their words) and he always got angry in the past when thinking I got special treatment.
We were doing what I thought was playful arguing when he brings my mother in to resolve the ‘conflict’ and ‘prove that I was in the wrong’.
My mother is a psychiatrist so that was a mistake. She ended up spending more than an hour arguing him. She talked about how his lack of social awareness is what caused this.
I left to the other room and heard him screaming one of the worst things he’s said about me as of today. He said I’m a “manipulative sociopath who is deceptively kind to people to get what she wants”.
He proceeded to add that no one is truly nice without an alternative motive behind it. This really scared me to see this is how he has seen things for this long. She asked him how long he’s felt this way and he said he thought it was basic human knowledge.
This whole time I was sitting next to my uncle too and he kept complaining to me that my mom and I don’t truly understand my brothers behaviour and that I should be nicer to him.
My mother said after that it scared her too but that she knows he wouldn’t be able to be independent without parent support anyways so we all need to try our best.
TLDR: I wish I didn’t get into an argument with my brother because he disclosed some of his thoughts about people and now I don’t think I’ll be able to look at him the same way again.
Agitated_Year8521: You didn't FU.
Your brother needs professional help that likely won't resolve the issue, he's projected his own manipulative personality onto you as a way of avoiding the mirror he doesn't want to look into himself because he knows the personality he'll see there is an ugly one.
My stepfather's brother was similar to this but I only knew him when he was much further down the road to Hell. He raped and battered his own wife, refused to vacate the house which she paid for and processed to trash it so badly over a period of years that it had to be cleaned by environmental health professionals. At one point he called their mother (who enabled him) saying the toilet was blocked and that he'd been pissing in the sink... Where was the solid waste going you ask? Well, the bath was getting full!
One of the biggest tragedies to me as a car lover was a derelict classic Audi Quattro that was rotting on the driveway.
Oh, yeah, and this guy was a self proclaimed genius don't forget. A sociopath through and through.
Be very wary of how your brother develops because if he continues to take the view that he currently has then he'll do his best to ruin anyone who he thinks he can take advantage of, he's already declared the strategy of being nice to people to get what is desired so he grasps the concept of kindness as a tool but doesn't understand the emotion.
MariosP02: Not the quattro :(
Agitated_Year8521: Believe me mate, I know:(
It was a 1984 sport in forest green with black decals down the side, I think about that car every now and again, apparently just to make myself sadಥ‿ಥ
I'd have bought it if I could but I was only a teenager at the time and God knows what the paperwork was like, the wretch living in the house was unlikely to have paid for it but it might well have been in his name knowing the circumstances.
Hy8ogen: Fuck bro as a fellow car nut, this really, REALLY hurts. Older quattros are magic.
| 5 | 36.8 | |
1674461954 | 1674475017 | t3_10j7iqr | t5_2to41 | 7 | Reformed_Narcissist: TIFU by intentionally ripping out the rest of my toenail (possibly NSFL)
Happened about an hour ago.
Context: a year or two ago, I went on a ski trip. My shoes were too tight and bent my left big toenail backwards in half.
It stayed intact though, so I just left it be.
A few weeks ago, I noticed my toe nail was soft. It was so soft that I created an indent with my fingernail. This indent turned into a gash. No pain occurred but my toenail looked unhealthy.
A few days ago, I proceeded to remove half my toenail (more like 2/3 of it but whatever). No pain occurred but afterwards my remaining nail just looked dirty.
So yeah, I decided to remove it today.
I took the edge and started wiggling it,
Pain! But, even passes my internal monologue of “what the hell am I doing? This could create permanent injury. Why didn’t I do research about this beforehand?” I obstinately continued. It just looked ugly! I didn’t want just part of a toenail.
So, I continued. I got a toe nail clipper when it became too much, and then when it was done. I showered.
As I look upon my stinging big toe that is on my foot, I realize this is going to hurt as I walk. And I walk miles everyday.
I am so fucked.
TLDR: part of a bad toenail “fell” off. Wanted to remove the remaining “healthy” part. Now my foot is in pain and will continue to hurt for the whole month whenever I walk/run.
Cold-Consideration36: As a football player (soccer🙃), people used to stand on my big toes with studs all the time. First there was the blue nail with the pressure. The easiest way to relieve the pressure was making a hole so the blood could get out. Eventually the nail would become loose and I'd pull it out. It indeed goes back far into the toe. Sometimes it was only half of the nail so then I just clipped one side. Once I ripped the other side out in 2-3 big pulls. Resulted in a lot of bleeding and pain for a small week haha. Do not recommend if not the whole nail is loose.
Cold-Consideration36: There was 'flesh' still hanging on the nail after I pulled it off so I basically ripped a part of my toe. Grew back like usual. Got lucky
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1673944156 | 1674242671 | t3_10e733z | t5_2to41 | 3,301 | I_aM_a_14_yEaR_oLd: TIFU by asking a teacher to sit somewhere else on the bus
Don't mind the username, I(M17) am a huge nerd and I've been appointed as the class monitor since I do all the boring stuff in school(such as marking the attendance, and collecting notebooks and punishing troublemakers at school, making sure everyone is seated at the bus)
So I get in the bus, I have my own reserved seat since I have to stand till all the bus stops are passed and everyone is seated at their assigned seats and there is a young girl(F12 or 13) Maya who uses walking canes as she is disabled,I always make sure to help her in the best way I can(such as stopping the bus until she's seated, and helping her put her canes at a comfortable place to make sure it won't bump into others).
And here comes Karen(F30 and obvious fake name) who is a junior teacher and teaches classes 3-7 and she's perfectly healthy, and she tells Maya to stand up and go sit in the back.
I saw this and immediately rushed in and told her that Maya has difficulty with walking and if you could sit somewhere else(keep in mind Maya is very shy since she's a new student and is gullible) and Karen was not having it
She said on how Maya is sitting in her spot(which was next to another teacher) and she has to move, I was a bit pissed off but I was still extremely respectful to her and in the end she had to sit somewhere else, which she was not happy about
So we arrived at school and it's the 2nd period and I get called into the principals office, with Karen being there and I knew what I was into
So I got berated by both of them and tried my best to tell them whole situation but they were not buying it
They kept telling me on how I should be respectful of my elders and should not talk back to them, this caused me to SNAP and I tell the principal that if the teacher wouldn't be a terrible human then I'd show her respect
This got them mad and they called my parents and suspended me for the day
I didn't ask Maya to come since she's a new student and I don't want her school year to be ruined by Karen.
TL;DR Argued with a teacher and got suspended for the day
Edit: Holy shit I deleted Reddit after making this post since it had 0 upvotes at the time xD
kalysti: Sometimes, we do the right thing and get treated badly for it. I'm sorry this happened to you. Don't let it stop you from being the responsible, compassionate person you seem to be.
ChocolateUnlucky1214: If this were my son I'd take him out to have a celebratory good job meal.
jm7489: I'd be making a real, real aggressive phone call to the school too
Loud-Bee6673: OP do you have a parent who will go to bat for you? Obviously the principal is not listening even though you are in the right.
I_aM_a_14_yEaR_oLd: Well I do, but I don't think it's worth it at this point
I never really liked our faculty anyways, and I'm only gonna stay here for the next few months anyways xD
Loud-Bee6673: Fair enough, as long as there are no serious consequences for you from being suspended. It actually makes me respect you even more, as you don’t care about getting credit/being vindicated for doing the right thing.
| 7 | 471.571429 | |
1674465750 | 1674626501 | t3_10j8esx | t5_2to41 | -39 | Various_Excitement97: TIFU by having sex with the school thot.
[removed]
Maze_13: Unless she just casually took a morning after pill, I have no idea what type of birth control that is. As far as I know, there isn't a pill you can just take in the heat of the moment to prevent pregnancy.
Even though it probably wasn't the best decision you ever made, it's a good thing that you booked an appointment with a doctor. If you indeed have an STD, it's best to also inform her so she can get treated as well.
Various_Excitement97: Tbh I have no idea what the hell kind of pill she took, all she told was that it was birth control. Shit now I gotta worry about that too fuck me 😭
Maze_13: Could be that she's on birth control pills and just decided to take it like that, but usually women take them around the same time like after waking up or before going to sleep. Since she's the school shut, I wouldn't worry about it that much. She probably knows how to prevent pregnancy, but consider it a warning as it's not just her responsibility.
Various_Excitement97: Damn bro, thanks for giving me a heads up, appreciate you man. Here's hoping she knew what she was doing😬
Maze_13: You're welcome. I get that it's hormones and built up tension, but next time try to use your head and not hers...
nick925611: You are aware that none of this ever happened, right?
Maze_13: Yes thank you, you're only the fifth person telling me, including people asking me to report this.
Did I commit a crime when I gave some advice? Was it offensive? If not, wtf is the goddamn problem...
nick925611: Well, ya followed up with the dude three times, sooooo…
Maze_13: So what exactly?
| 10 | -3.9 | |
1672641289 | 1672641397 | t3_1015lfb | t5_2to41 | -5 | [deleted]: tifu by not reading my messages before I pulled up to my friends house
[deleted]
Jacki073: jesus fucking christ please use punctuation dear god
batty_-koda: My bad dude using voice to text and I forgot the last quarter half of the f****** story my bad leave it if you don't want to read it why are you wasting your time on this
| 3 | -1.666667 | |
1673268843 | 1673311241 | t3_107dpbt | t5_2to41 | 16,003 | possible_showers: TIFU by topping 550 lbs [UPDATE]
About a month ago I admitted to the Internet I was too fat to travel and visit my dying father. If you missed the post, here it is: [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zmjalp/tifu\_by\_topping\_550\_lbs/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zmjalp/tifu_by_topping_550_lbs/)
I honestly didn't expect the overwhelming positive comments on my original post. Time will tell if this was my "aha moment", but something did click when I read through the comments. I knew I had to try harder, if not for me then for my father (was in Hospital ICU), so I did. Below is that journey.
To recap, I needed to find a way to physically transport myself between two major cities of quite some distance, transport myself between houses and hospitals, and face my family and friends at hopefully what would be my final biggest size. I couldn't drive/have a friend drive me between the cities as this would be a several days journey and my friendships aren't that strong.
I first started with what I distilled as a freight transport issue to solve.
I found 3 medical transport specialist companies and 11 companies that had 'we'll deliver anything' marketing material. While I continued to have positive correspondence, all options were exhausted quite quickly. If you're wondering - two companies laughed directly at me, two hung up on me, and one suggested an option which was $12k and I had to sign a waiver (was the sketchiest of the options). None of the medical transport specialists would help given the distance to travel.
I next turned to the airlines. One was quite helpful and convinced me it would be better and cheaper to buy a business class seat which had extra wide seat and more leg room over buying a neighboring seat. I used public transport to get to the airport (surprisingly went well), got to the plane, and then ... I didn't fit in the seat. The armrests weren't adjustable. I tried to wedge myself in but my thigh would hard press against the backrest adjustment button so there was no way to keep the seat upright. I didn't get to the seatbelt issue, and there were no other seats available. I was rejected from the flight.
Several emotions and events happened afterwards. I wouldn't be flying that day and I lied to my family why I wouldn't be flying.
The airline called me the next day and offered me two economy seats at the same business class ticket price (time of year and last-minute tickets elevated the economy class ticket prices). The plane had rows of 3 and I didn't want to risk anything, so I bought another seat so I had the entire row. Given the time of the year, that one seat almost cost me the same as the original ticket cost. The middle seat armrests could be lifted. While one flight assistant had a problem with it being up on takeoff, that was my only option so we needed to go with it. The seatbelt extender wasn't an issue - they had it on hand. I was quite nervous about that but they proactively brought it to me without asking. Yeah I know, the need was obvious.
I hadn't told my family I would be flying again in fear I'd run into another problem, and with a bit of a positive buzz from a successful flight I thought I'd surprise them. I tried two taxis - I couldn't get in the car. I tried a minivan taxi, and I couldn't wear the seatbelt. One taxi driver refused to look at me and locked their doors. I then decided to use public transport. This turned out to being a four-hour journey as nothing was direct, but I made it to my parents' house.
After all of that I couldn't find a way to transport myself to the hospital to see my father. I tried to sit in my mother's car in advance but wouldn't fit, so I lied again and said I had a bunged knee and couldn't bend it when it came to visiting him. She didn't overly question this, but I'm sure she knew the real reason.
After 28 days my father was released from the hospital on Christmas day. I saw him at my parents' house. He is doing a lot better, has long Covid, and he never said anything to me about my weight. All of the family conversations were centered around my father. I couldn't find a way to start a conversation about myself either, even with my mother whom I'm the closest with. For another time. My mother suggested I use a different bathroom for showering. It had a bigger door to access it. I declined and squeezed into the usual bathroom. On reflection, she was trying to help me and be more comfortable. I'm an idiot for not picking up on this in the moment.
I lied again when I returned home, saying I would catch a taxi as I had an ungodly hour of a flight. I repeated everything in reverse.
As for my health, I have started another attempt at weight loss. I got a reading on my bathroom scales on Sunday for the first time - 555 lbs (252 kg). My only positive from this is thinking that because I have a reading my weight must have declined from whatever it was over Christmas as previously my scales would error with maximum weight exceeded.
Being morbidly obese sucks. I'm going to attempt to change that for me this year.
EDIT: I'm updating this post nearly 2 weeks after posting it. Similar to my first post, I wasn't prepared for all of the support and comments. It truly was unexpected. For those that gave awards, thank you, but you shouldn't have. What I did wasn't brave or heroic, and without my father being in the situation he was in I doubt I would have pushed myself this hard to make myself see him. That aside I did learn some things about myself and the world I interact with as a result of this journey, and these will stay with me.
I've included below additional information in relation to the various questions and discussions many have shared. Hopefully this helps to further shape your view of my situation, and for those that are perhaps in a similar situation.
* Not all airlines have a passenger of size policy. The airline choices that I had no such policy. The only thing offered to me was business class with wider seats, an exit row with extra leg room at extra cost, and the option to purchase additional neighboring seats. None of these options came with a discount.
* I've seen many medical professionals over the years including those that specialise in weight loss. I have a medical care plan, have had blood work done, and I've seen a cardiologist. Without going into all of the specifics I hadn't found a path with any of them that provided a strong direction to pursue treatment A, surgery B, nutrition plan C etc. Some of the reason for that is definitely on me, but I also haven't felt the medical industry more broadly has been that accommodating for my situation.
* Many people have provided recommendations for certain weight loss related drugs. This isn't for me. I've pretty much had no tablet/drug in my whole life besides vaccines. Maybe I have a phobia of this external help?
* My entire family are related to the medical/health industry in some way. I think this has negatively impacted my confidence to ask for help. Bizarre I know, but maybe I'm just intimidated. Plus, I'm the only fat one in the family.
* A few people have suggested I may have an eating disorder. I haven't provided a lot of details around why I'm fat from the perspective of what I eat, but I will share that I know what is good food for me vs bad, I know what good portion sizes looks like, and I know when I'm eating in a way that is bad for me. Maybe for me I have a disorder, or an addiction. A medical professional would need to label it. I will need to consciously and continuously force myself to make good choices over relying on setting good habits.
* Real life doesn't really cater for morbidly obese people. I don't encourage acceptance, but more can be done to accommodate our needs, even if its just to help us move around for medical appointments and utilise the most basic human services. You can charge us more for it - for me, it is the price I must pay for the poor choices I've made.
* I've continued to lose weight each week from the time of this post. I'm making an effort to keep this trend going.
TL;DR: I got laughed at by freight companies trying to ship my fat self like a large box, was rejected from a flight for being fat, paid a fortune for new airplane tickets, lied to my family about travelling complications, and managed to see my father in person after he survived a near death experience from health complications.
srona22: You did a great thing. Also if possible, get special programs for weight loss. Not sure if your place has an option for getting into some programs from private hospitals.
Because a normal workout would not be that efficient for your case. Hope someone or some groups will give you more options.
barfsfw: Just starting with a daily walk around the block is a great start. Progress to 2 blocks and then 3. As long as OP is making it a point to do Something every day, it will start making a difference. Paired with a reasonable diet, he should be able to lose that first 100lbs. this year. That's key. Once he can get into the low 400s, then he can pick up the pace a bit. If he's been religiously walking every day, his heart and muscles should be in better condition and he can start seeing a personal trainer who will be able to guide him to a more healthy future.
The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.
itsforwork12: I agree with the sentiment, with a very small nit-picky bit about the exercise. If their knees can handle it, walking around the block is great. If their knees can't, I would suggest walking in a shallow lap pool. Still getting a workout and movement in, but saves the strain on the knees
cheezemeister_x: Any bariatric specialist, and any doctor really, will tell you that at 550+ lbs, you shouldn't even waste your time thinking about exercise. Exercise is not going to contribute significantly to the weight loss, and can be very discouraging to morbidly obese people. The weight loss will begin in the kitchen, with possible help from dieticians, the pharmacy and/or a surgeon. That is where the focus should be. Exercise can be introduced later, once weight loss has started and if and when OP feels that they can handle it.
But don't take it from someone on reddit. Ask your doctors. They will tell you the same thing I said above.
SOURCE: Been there, done that. :)
[deleted]: It really needs to be both. People always want to pick one then sabotage themselves with the other. Yes, diet will pay off the most, especially in the beginning, but heavy calorie restriction diets have diminishing returns over time. People succeed when they establish healthy routines. OP should ease into a low impact activity just to get things rolling.
cheezemeister_x: Sorry, I don't agree. At all. At 550+ lbs, exercise isn't going to help, and could in fact be detrimental. He can exercise if he wants to. It should not, and will not, be part of a weight loss program under these circumstances. The exercise should be introduced later in the program, once weight loss is progressing and if the patient's physical condition can accommodate it.
[deleted]: No competent physical therapist is going to tell a 550-pound patient to come back later. There's going to be concerns about over stressing his cardiovascular system and joint injuries, but they will get him started with some low impact activities.
Any weight loss plan that starts off saying you'll do something later typically results in you never doing that thing later. You start early to establish the routine and slowly condition yourself for later exercises which will help for weight loss.
If he sticks to a diet the pounds will initially drop and he'll feel pretty good about everything. Then the weight loss will stall out, he'll feel discouraged and try to double down on the diet, he'll lose some more pounds, but his energy levels will plumet, and the cravings will be intense. Maybe with enough willpower he'll stay the course and push through it, but most people fall off the wagon at this point.
This is where exercise is critical and trying to start a workout routine when energy and motivation are at critically low levels isn't likely to succeed.
cheezemeister_x: Any competent physical therapist (or even a personal trainer) will not program for a 550+ lb person without a physician approving it, specifically because of the cardio and joint issues you mentioned. And a competent physician isn't likely to prescribe that at the start of their weight loss program.
[deleted]: People tend to get referred to PT from their primary care. They'll probably also write referrals to a dietician, cardiologist, and perhaps at least consult with a bariatric surgeon. If they're playing it safe, and they likely will, that referral to PT will say something along the lines of maintaining resting heartrate until cleared by cardiology.
So why bother with PT from the start? Because it's a resource insurance will pay for. Many of the specialists may only see OP once every couple of months. Maybe monthly with the dietician to get things started. PT sessions can be done weekly, sometimes multiple sessions per week. They can take his vitals, get an accurate weigh in, measurements, and catch any red flags before they flair up. Early data that helps the dietician see what is or isn't working. They can start with stretching and range of motion exercises until getting the all clear to increase the intensity then just slowly introduce safe activities designed to prep OP for some real exercises as he hits his milestones.
cheezemeister_x: > So why bother with PT from the start? Because it's a resource insurance will pay for.
Oy vey.....
I'm not arguing with you any more. I don't think you really know what you're talking about.
[deleted]: Advising someone not to use every medical resource available to them is the peak of ignorance.
cheezemeister_x: Advising people to do things that are of no benefit and high risk is the peak of ignorance. Goodnight.
| 13 | 1,231 | |
1674471045 | 1674476003 | t3_10j9pfo | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by declining someone’s request in his hour of need.
[deleted]
[deleted]: All your doing is sending idiots out into the world with some paper that says they’re smarter than they really are, when one of them ends up dead because they had no idea what they were doing it’s going to be heavy on your mind if you feel bad about this one.
___Phreak___: They're not going to end up dead. They'll end up in a high paid job with somebody below them to do the real work.
[deleted]: LOL failing upwards is rare, can’t see it happening to someone that can’t do a basic task.
jjbugman2468: Showing results for: the Republican Party, Elon Musk
| 5 | 8.2 | |
1672644945 | 1672645904 | t3_1016nxo | t5_2to41 | 44 | Dry-Ad-9428: TIFU by making my partner pick
I know, title sounds stupid as fuck on its own
and trust me, it's not going to get any better.
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years, she has gained contact again with her childhood friend after a couple of years because they had a fight years prior, and she had another friend.
We're in a groupchat and my girlfriend and I say we're married (keep this is mind).
she had a platonic marriage as well which has happened just a few months ago (mind you we are from 16-18 years old so no, nothing here is literally)
My girlfriend was joking about cheating on me, with her platonic marriage, I said I already knew about her affair and we all made this a very dramatic joke.
She invited her childhood friend to the group chat and we started talking. It got to the point where we mentioned the marriages and the whole joke, it all grew chaotic and I jokingly said, "I guess I'm the side hoe?" and things just got worse.
I honestly wish I kept quiet because for the past 2 months now I have been having my insecurities return.
This isn't relevant to the story but it explains my insecurities::
during middle school, I dated a guy, I liked him and I thought he likes me, he would compare me to other people and in the end I found out he has liked a mutual friend of ours from the start of our relationship, not only that but he would always say I wasn't enough, even though I broke up with him multiple times. he would assume we were still dating. when he finally cut things off he said I was nothing more than a mere test, see how things go. So now I worry about not being good enough for my partner.
My girlfriend has reassured me time and time again that she loves me, she has made me feel genuinely loved, and I feel special for once. Now back to this, because of all the joking, her childhood friend said he is the main because they've known each other longer, her most recent friend says she's the main lover because they get along well.
in my head I just said, Childhood friend is main, new-is friend is side hoe and I'm just the throw away hoe.
I wanted to say it to laugh along and keep with the jokes but even just the thought of it hurt and now I lay here in bed crying my eyes out like a baby.
I started this and now here I am crying.
I was able to get over my insecurities earlier, but they've returned and I also have no clue what to do, and I honestly hate it so fucking much because it just hurts. It's returned to the point I have dreams of her cheating me on, dreams of her saying I was never enough, etc.
TLDR: girlfriend has a platonic relationship with her childhood friend and the idea of figuring out who's the main hoe and the side hoe has gotten out of hand.
Insecurities about not being a good enough partner are returning and getting worse by the day.
update:
I told her about it, she understood and we talked it out for a bit. She told me I have nothing to worry about and that no matter what I'm special to her, as friends and partners. I'm glad this was talked about easily, thank you for telling me that I should just straight up tell her.
much appreciated!
womaneatingsomecake: Honestly, just tell her about it. And stop joking around about it. I personally don't find "cheating humour" funny.
Dry-Ad-9428: I have once, didn't go well, but I might try again, I just don't want to cause the same as a previous incident
womaneatingsomecake: Just tell your gf. "sorry, but my ex cheated on me, so it's hard for me to joke about"
Dry-Ad-9428: I hope this works, I really want them to stop these kinds of things
womaneatingsomecake: Tell your partner first. And good luck, though I think you'll be fine
Dry-Ad-9428: I will, thank you
| 7 | 6.285714 | |
1674210209 | 1674246222 | t3_10gth5a | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: Tifu by being mad at my dad
[deleted]
Treviathan88: Are you and your dad mad at punctuation too?
randomkid937195: Sorry just had to rush typing this.
AcrobaticSource3: Why did you have to rush? It’s not like your dad was talking to you, so you had free time
| 4 | 5.25 | |
1674478163 | 1674494382 | t3_10jbpn1 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Ovian: TIFU by buying a house from a company that is a bit too small in the future and can't sell cause of the church
So TIFU was about 6 months ago.
We have a property (650m²) in germany and we basically f'd up by building a house on it.We have about 75.000 € saved and the best credit we got was split in two credits.
1. Bausparvertrag (Home saving contract) 210.000 € at 1.5% for 20 years and then that would be paid off. We can pay as much money as we want into that credit to get rid of it faster.
2. Credit from the Bank 225.000 € at 2.2% for 33 years, but with worse % (2.2%) it was a bit after ukraine war started when % started rising.
So now we will have a house soon (148 m²) with no basement, no garage only a carport and everything built "small" so we can afford to build it.
I am so sad because we have a huge debt that we can obviously pay off ( I get 2800 €, my wife 2200 € a month) and we pay the bank 1300 € each month, but still... we should have waited. We have a huge debt for such a small house.
Currently it is big enough. We have no children and we have two empty rooms. But most people who build have extra parents bathroom, kids bathroom, another shower in the visitors toilet, a basement, a garage,... and we don't have anything alike. We built what we could afford and it is small. And it is next to a church which is annoying to "normal" people. I am not religious but the sound doesn't bother me. Welp, now we are stuck here forever.
TLDR: Got a big credit debt for a small house that nas no space. Paying 435.000 € credit debt back with 1300 € a month. We can't sell the house because there is a church nearby which doesn't bother us, but is quite noisy. So nobody is interested in it.
grptrt: > We can’t sell the house because there is a church nearby which doesn’t bother us, but is quite noisy. So nobody is interested in it.
Not true. Any house will sell to the right buyer at the right price.
Ovian: It is so loud.
warriorofinternets: The week you need to sell, sneak up to the bell tower and either fill the bell with spray foam, or pull out the wiring if it’s electronic. Run your open house that day, and say yes occasionally the bell rings but normally it’s quite quiet, and look at these double paned windows we installs which further muffle the sound.
Then take your cash and run.
Ovian: Is that legal?
I think this is a good idea.
warriorofinternets: Probably could be considered vandalism if you get caught, and perhaps unethical, but where I am you have no obligation to mention sound nuisances in the selling process.
That being said, you can probably find the right buyer at the right price for your house when you are ready to move. Might not be now or soon, but when the time comes you can always find someone, housing is always in short supply.
You might consider speaking with a realtor about your property, and while not having it listed, if they come across a buyer who might be interested in a home like yours, to reach out to you. A house on the market listed for a long time will fetch a lower price because people assume something is wrong with it if it’s not selling, but an informal notice amongst realtors in your areas that you’d be open to entertaining offers might be helpful to keep your ears open for possible exit strategies.
| 6 | 4.166667 | |
1674476288 | 1674502130 | t3_10jb51b | t5_2to41 | 3,378 | krishi2202: TIFU by joking with my mom before sleep and giving the poor woman a nightmare which ended up in her punching me in the sleep & then crying and apologising.
Context : My mom was pretty upset with the news she received recently of my uncle ( mom’s brother) being in the. hospital for a brain stroke. She was cranky and couldn’t sleep since a few nights. So I decided to sleep next to her & comfort her.
Now before sleeping she was in a sad mood and she asked me what will me and dad do if she is gone and I jokingly said that I might get a new wife for dad. She laughed at it too and we soon went to sleep.
Cut to 5.15 am, she started shouting in her sleep and I tried to wake her up and she accidentally punched me in the gut and woke up. She saw what she did and immediately started crying and apologising profusely. I said it was alright and tried to calm her down and gave her some water and made her sleep.
Now when I woke up in the morning , She still seemed quite sad so I asked her what was wrong and she said the nightmare was that of her dying and my dad remarried and that everyone was happy without her.
I felt so bad and also wanted to laugh but she seemed so genuinely sad that I realised my lil joke fucked up her lil sleep even more. I will try to make it up to her today. Lesson learnt.
TL:DR : Mom was upset before sleep. I joked that I might get a new mom if she is gone . Mom got nightmare of the same & punched me in the gut when I tried to wake her up and upset her more.
Edit: Took my mom out shopping and some fun dinner later and binging on Shark tank on the tv right now. She feels better now:)
IsaMikkelAmsel: Out of curiosity why isn't your dad taking care of your mom during this time of need?
krishi2202: He was comforting her as well as he could but since the past 2-3 days he too was down with cold and the meds used to knock him up at night.
sikotic4life: Those are some fertile meds
MRainH20: I hate when my meds knock me up. It's a bitch trying to get child support.
krishi2202: Pls nooooo XD hahahaha
germane-corsair: I don’t mean to alarm you but is his belly showing? It might not be beer gut.
krishi2202: Are you implying that i may have a medicine sibling soon? xD
germane-corsair: They say laughter is the best medicine so at least they will be funny.
| 9 | 375.333333 | |
1672649444 | 1672728585 | t3_1017vhz | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by realizing the man who gave me their card is someone I met on a bus when I was younger, and may never get to see them again
[deleted]
kisskit_buiscuit: A four year old who made friends with adults. OK.
TIFU_card: People are friendly where I live.
FemaleDogEqualsBitch: I- uh- I’M FUCKING SORRY?!? Why the hell do they care about or even remember you?
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1674482270 | 1674484646 | t3_10jd2sh | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by being horny
[deleted]
smudgetimeusa: This story is posted daily on Reddit. You think people would learn?
malin7: It must be the same person posting it over again for karma as surely no one else can be this gullible
| 3 | 5 | |
1674450500 | 1674497252 | t3_10j4hxl | t5_2to41 | 5 | Everyday_Hero1: TIFU by getting scammed and ghosting my crush well trying to get sold out concert tickets out of desperation
Happened over the weekend.
So I found out 3 of my favorite bands that I've been trying to see for years are having a 10 year anniversary tour around the country.
I found out 24 hours after tickets went live that the concert was a thing.
My city was 55% sold within 50 minutes of ticket sales going live and then sold out within 5 hours and the organizers didn't decide to make a second sho after seeing the demand.
In conversation with the person I've been crushing on hard for a good while now, who has tickets, sat ther said "oh look at mister salty" well I was venting my frustrations.
Typing that out makes it pretty obvious I'm barking up the wrong tree there thankfully, but does change the peak fuck up.
In my desperation I checked all the event pages trying to find tickets for sale.... and instead of finding a scalper, turns out it was scammer instead.
So, acting on pure emotion and no second thoughts due to desperation and too much faith in people, I got scammed out of $70 because I purposely ignored every instinct in my body saying it was dodgy.
All because I haven't seen these bands before because of either COVID or personal injury.
Bank knows about it now and still NC with the "crush"
TL;DR: Gave into my desperation for concert tickets, sent $70 for a ticket just to be blocked by the "seller", and realised I've wasted a good 8 months crushing on someone who really doesn6 give 2 fucks about me all in 1 weekend.
Squigglepig52: Dude, if simply calling you Mr Salty is enough to turn you off, you have issues.
Limp_Will16: Seriously, that’s pretty blatant flirting.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1674482896 | 1674486899 | t3_10jdb1y | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU and not only today by being more and more angry and toxic boyfriends, without knowing it.
[deleted]
Head-Investigator984: Ok. Fr. This will be a tough statement but imho:
At this point break up or at least take a break. It‘s just not fair. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this. U‘re even emotionally blackmailing her. That‘s cruel.
This way not only you‘re falling but you‘re grabbing her to fall with you.
Go fix urself. Go seek therapy for real if u think u need it.
A relationship can help you in tough times and strengthen you. But it‘s not a substitute for therapy. One needs to be somewhat healthy himself (or atleast working on him) to have a healthy relationship.
Odd_Ad_2908: it's right, i know it, and i want her to be happy, i need to fix myself, and she is already hurt by me. If i think about that whole situation, i feel nothing else but guilty, and i probably do what you said
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1672653033 | 1672906692 | t3_1018tgw | t5_2to41 | 27 | Thenikksmeister: TIFU by looking in the mirror
Just a little bit of situational context: my friends are in town visiting me for a couple of weeks, so I have a full house. I'm letting one of the homies sleep with me in my bed because we're cool like that and my bed is way more comfortable than the couch. This isn't incredibly useful, but it's just easier to explain it now.
Have you ever heard the little trick that if you want to know if you're dreaming, just look in the mirror because in a dream you won't be able to comprehend your appearance and you'll wake up? Ok so I'm having having a typical dream, some stuff makes sense and some doesn't. Obviously, I can't tell yet because I'm dreaming. Towards the end of the dream, I'm walking down this huge dark hallway, it's very elegant, with beautiful wood finishes like an old mansion. It's littered with rectangles on the walls which are probably a mix of paintings and mirrors and there's lighting all over the walls that's only turning on as I walk past. I'm not curious at all if I'm in a dream, but I'm turning the corner and there's one big mirror with some lamps around it and as I'm going to look at myself I remember the old saying about finding out if you're in a dream. I look at myself and the image isn't quite right. It's my face but logic is telling me that it isn't matching up: the orientation wasn't quite matching up, and the reflection's gaze wasn't looking at me like it should be. Kinda eerie, but i let out a chuckle "I guess I am in a dream then" and
I wake up, in bed, facing away from my friend and facing towards my fan blowing on me. I hear the fan and I hear him slightly snoring. I can't move. It feels like a game I used to play where I would try with all my force to move without actually letting myself move. The only difference is that right now, I actually can't move and I'm trying pretty hard. The fan is getting louder, the breathing is getting louder, the snoring is getting louder, I'm drowning in white noise trying to move. "Was that my name?" Through the noise, I hear my name. Then a second time. It's coming from right behind me in bed, like it's literally a raspy whisper in my left ear because I'm laying on my right side. I wonder if it's my friend trying to wake me up. Then I notice it feels like his hand is on my throat. While he was calling me he was actually simultaneously choking me very lightly. I felt it was harder to breathe so I'm very anxious and I want to move, I want to look behind me and see what's happening. I cannot move though, still. My breathing is deep and kinda fast, I'm also kinda terrified to see what's actually calling my name because I know my friend is asleep because of his constant subtle snoring. Maybe he's sleep choking me, maybe it's a demon, I have no clue. I settle myself and understand this is just sleep paralysis but the feeling is still real. The commotion is still real, even though it's not. Everything is so loud, my name is being called, there's something choking me, it's real in that moment whether I knew i was sleep paralyzed or not.
I manage to break free, and the noise settles, nothings calling my name anymore, and I can breathe again. I turn slowly and my friend is passed out turned away from me still snoring. This is the first sleep paralysis that I've had (which was 2 hours ago) and I'm here at 4AM processing what happened, googling what it actually is, and telling you my story. Word of advice: don't look in the mirror.
TL:DR
In a dream, I looked in a mirror, which made me realize I was in a dream and woke me up prematurely straight into a sleep paralysis. I couldn't move and it felt like my friend (or a demon/ghost) was choking me while calling out to me
couchthievery: Holy shit dude. That's wild.
I've only heard that you should look at a clock, because if you're dreaming you won't be able to read the numbers? Which frankly sounds way less risky than looking in a dream mirror.
DrunkenSpoonyBard: Doesn't work, sadly. I can dream of looking into mirrors and at clocks and don't realise it's a dream till I've woken up.
The only time I've had "wait, this is a gotdamn dream" hit me was the time I dreamt of a power outage - in the dream I reached down to hit the switch on the power strip beside my bed in case it had got turned off. I don't *have* a power strip beside my bed. That's what woke me, that realisation.
couchthievery: p.s. I like your username
DrunkenSpoonyBard: Thanks!
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1672653087 | 1672705127 | t3_1018tzf | t5_2to41 | 23 | ThrowRAuser1: TIFU by taking edibles from someone on the bus
This actually happened a couple weeks ago, but I figured I’d share anyway. Now, I don’t smoke at all, I’ve had edibles once or twice before and even then it was a smaller dose. I do not have the tolerance for edibles, did that stop me though? It should’ve.
I was on the bus with my friend and a mutual that we know but aren’t close with, he pulled out a jar filled with gummies and offered some to my friend, which she accepted. She is an active weed enjoyer, so these ended up not doing much for her since she has a high tolerance. Anyway, he saw me looking and offered me some, to which I accepted. He asked if I wanted one or two, you’d think I’d only take one but you’d be wrong. I held them in my hand, contemplating whether or not to take them then, and decided to just try one. Some time passed and I didn’t feel much, so me being the idiot I am, I ate the second one and continued about my day.
Fast forward around 30 minutes later, I walked home from the bus stop and sat in the kitchen with my family. Everything felt okay, and then I started to feel giddy. I was having a good time, but decided to go to my room in case I laughed too much and it became suspicious. I paced around for a bit, laughing to myself and smiling stupidly, and as time passed I had begun to feel slower and heavier. The happiness I had been feeling quickly became intense anxiety, my body felt weak and I began shaking, my head felt like it was being squeezed from the inside. I decided to call my dad because I was not able to handle this, and there was no way I could go the day pretending to be sober when I was absolutely zooted. He came into the room shortly after and I explained what was happening, and he tried to help me out the best he could, he even gave me narcan out of fear that the gummies were laced. Eventually I was pretty unresponsive and could not stop shaking, so he took me to the ER. I remember standing by the reception desk barely able to keep myself up or open my eyes, I had to remind myself to breathe and it was difficult because it felt like my chest was very weighted. When I was finally taken to the room, they put the gown on me and laid me down, inserted an IV and tested me. They had to get a urine sample from me but I couldn’t walk to the bathroom so I sat on the bedside pan while they watched me piss. I still don’t remember if I wiped or if they did it for me. I was absolutely out of it, they kept calling my name and telling me to wake up, trying to get a response out of me. I couldn’t get much out, I was stuck in my own head, trying to convince myself that I won’t die from this embarrassingly stupid decision. They left the room shortly after the urine sample was taken and came back with results, which was of course just high amounts of cannabis in my blood. After a small lecture about taking drugs from strangers, the doctor discharged me and dad helped my wobbly-ass back to the car. We got home and I laid down in the living room and tried to fall asleep. Now, I don’t remember this part much but apparently I was groaning and making a lot of sounds throughout the night, still twitching in my sleep according to dad. I would wake up sporadically and still be incredibly laggy, I wanted to badly for this high to be over and eventually it was, around a total of 12 hours later. After that subsided I felt pretty drained and was left with derealization for a few days. I no longer have any interest in edibles or anything even remotely similar, fuck that, never again.
TL;DR: Took two edible gummies from an acquaintance without knowing how much was in them, dealt with an insanely uncomfortable paranoid high and tremors for the following 12 hours and was taken to the ER in-between just to be told I got too high.
PS: Whoever put my IV in that night bruised the fuck out of my arm, it was purple and yellow-ish green for a while after that.
kobrakaan: Your Dad just randomly happened to have NARCAN? that was lucky sounds like you've done this previously or you're just making shit up for the likes here
you don't just happen to have Naloxone in your drugs cabinet and its not cheap to buy for a just in case someone ODs on opiates
FriskyNewt: In Canada Ontario (probably other provinces as well), you can go to the pharmacy and ask for a home NARCAN kit, and they will give you one for FREE!
When my kids get to an age where drugs may be present at parties, you can bet your ass I will have a kit at home just in case something goes south on them.
kevin0carl: We have similar in Pennsylvania as well. They also have fentanyl test strips so you can test to see if what you have is laced.
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1672661878 | 1672690466 | t3_1018yre | t5_2to41 | 3,227 | NeverKissMeAgain: She's feeding off the comments on TikTok that praised her for breaking up with me the way that she did. There seems to be plenty of people out there who believe I got what I deserved.
ttjr89: Ah yes the women "incels"
Yuri909: Femcels
shoonseiki1: Femcels are all over TikTok
Shadow293: “Yassssss, Queen. Grab that bag. Slayyyyyyyyyy”. /s
God I fucking hate TikTok for this reason. My toxic ex gf always watched this shit and was even more toxic towards me.
Effective-Button805: It’s a bit weird to hate Tiktok and not Reddit. It’s all the same
EternalPhi: It's really not. TikTok serves you shit silently, you need to seek out and actively join communities to end up in the extremist echo chambers here.
Clicking on a video on /r/all of someone struggling with suicidal thoughts doesn't replace your feed with a dozen other people with suicidal thoughts.
Effective-Button805: Tiktok has never shown me anything but funny videos. Sorry, it’s just another app.
The data mining that comes from it is the concerning part that sets it apart from the other apps, but the content is the same. Hell, it seems like 8% of Reddit these days is Tiktok content.
EternalPhi: Imagine thinking your experience on a platform defined by its personalization algorithms is universal.
Effective-Button805: What?
EternalPhi: What was unclear? You said TikTok and Reddit are the same, I explined how they are not, since TikTok serves content to you based on a profile it generates and what it thinks you like, and how Reddit does not do that. I tried to illustrate how TikTok can dangerously reinforce negative emotions, to which your response was "I only get funny videos".
The platforms are not the same. While they can have similar effects, the fact remains that unless you actively seek out communities that reinforce your negative emotions or toxic behaviours on Reddit, you will not experience those effects. With TikTok, it's basically built specifically to do that.
Effective-Button805: >Imagine thinking your experience on a platform defined by its personalization algorithms is universal.
>personalization algorithm
>personalization
There it is. Your browsing habits form your algorithm. I don’t understand how that concept *isn’t* universal. If you’re getting those videos you have to get them into your personal algorithm somehow.
My response was “I only get funny videos” because that’s what I, as an individual, seek out and interact with. I figured it was easy enough to understand what I was saying ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
EternalPhi: Yes. Everyone gets an experience catered to them. As in, everyone's experience is not the same. Is this some weird gotcha attempt? Someone struggling with suicidal thoughts is going to be given more content featuring people with suicidal thoughts, not funny videos.
Effective-Button805: Cool, that was my point dingus. That every social media is going to show you what pertains to you.
My point is I don’t understand what makes Tiktok worse. I also don’t understand what you don’t get here. I’m not even being a dick. I say “apps are what we make them” and your thing is “imagine thinking everyone is the same as you!”
I was using myself as an example that the individual algorithm issue isn’t the default.
EternalPhi: You asked why people shit on TikTok and not Reddit. I explained it to you, and you gave me some weird "well I don't see that" BS, so yeah, I had to elucidate. My point was that TikTok doesn't operate on the conscious level, you do not have to explicitly tell the App you want more of that content, if you just linger on it, you will get more, which makes it quite a bit more insidious in the ways it gathers and uses information about you.
You: "They're the same"
Me: "They operate completely differently"
You: "They're the same, I don't see why you don't understand this"
Effective-Button805: I mean, they may operate differently behind the scenes, but it is the same thing. I see more toxic shit on Reddit than I do on Tiktok.
My algorithm just is what it is, but the popular and all feeds have a lot of stuff to send you down the rabbit hole if you’re susceptible to going down it, most of it political. Reddit isn’t immune to that and I don’t get the hate boner is all.
You explained it, but in my opinion you didn’t explain it well enough to gotcha me, if you know what I mean. I’m just saying people are too hard on Tiktok and not hard enough on Reddit in regards to the “Tiktok bad, Reddit good” conversation. It’s a strange stance to be aggressive about to me.
| 16 | 201.6875 | |
1674488230 | 1674490261 | t3_10jfb8n | t5_2to41 | 9 | mikeoxmalss: TIFU by not turning in my college essay
This is not a huge TIFU, but I am genuinely not sure what to do. This is for a college art class, I needed to write an assignment about michaelangelo and how his personality affected his art. I have been told many times to my teacher to do this essay and to get it in. I've been told a months in advance that I had this essay. I had a huge problem with procrastinating on assignments and the teacher and I had a discussion about it earlier in the year, but I completely forgot about this over the weekend. Would this be wrong if "I asked if I finished it today?" I feel like that would be a bad idea, considering I had a long time to do it and she's not going to give me a chance. I'm kind of afraid to ask. I'm not sure if she would except that. She's a good teacher don't get me wrong, she is just strict sometimes. Do you think if I just turn it in she would grade it? What's the best approach? Should I just leave it?
TL;DR: I forgot to turn in an essay that I was told and reminded about multiple times and not sure if I should ask to finish it
Edit:
she put in private comments saying "NAME!!!! This should have been done this last night!"
I should add I'm in a college level class on high school
gradxl: Sounds like it's early in your college career. Take this as a lesson in organization and time management, start using a calendar or just find what works for you. I have ADD and I know it's not as easy as "just do it right away" but I've gotten myself to start things as soon as they're assigned to avoid these kinds of issues.
My advice is to not address the professor. Most classes have a 'late policy' in the syllabus, turn it in as soon as possible and live with the fact that you're going to lose points or possibly get a 0 for turning it in late. This is the consequence of your action but be thankful that this time it's probably not anything that will ruin your chances for success.
Good luck.
mikeoxmalss: Yes, thank you for reminding me about the course syllabus! Although I'm in high school taking a college class, either way, it's the same thing. I think I'm going to try your tactic about starting stuff as soon as they are assigned. I've tried using a calendar/agenda that I carry around, but it doesnt seem to work. I would resort to my phone, but I try not to be on it much. Thank you!
| 3 | 3 | |
1672654593 | 1672697251 | t3_10198qf | t5_2to41 | 552 | imGonnaDieInside: TIFU by role playing with my partner
It was almost midnight and my [F22] sister [F29] (who I share a house with) let me know that she had to go to a friends really quickly.
My partner and I took this as a chance to do some roleplay that we wanted to do. I was the sub first and then I was the dom. We were doing a student/professor roleplay and I was the professor.
Our role play scenarios lasted two hours and just as my partner was about to cum they covered their mouth. I was thinking that it was just part of their character so I continued talking to them. “Are you going to cum for Miss (my last name)?” over and over again and then they said that they came for me, and it was over.
Then my partner asked me, “ Is (sisters name) home?” And I was like no? I didn’t hear the door but my partner said they did hear. So I start dying inside and I go to check my sisters location(we share for safety). Sure enough her location says she’s 0 miles away. So I think okay, maybe she’s still in her car and so I check the security camera. Nope, she was walking up to the door 4 minutes ago while I was railing my partner fully in character.
One thing about my sister is that she has very insanely good hearing. Plus we were on the floor right by my door that also has a gap under. So it would be a miracle if she didn’t hear anything. I’m sure that she heard and I want to bury myself in the backyard and never face her. Her view of me as her innocent little sister is probably tarnished.
TL;DR
Decided to roleplay while my sister was out, she came home and she probably heard just enough for me to want to die.
Update: I texted her “if you heard anything cray when you came home I’m sorry”. Today she responded “it’s okay, are you alright?” And she’s been acting normal around me and having other convo so I think we’re good but I’m still a bit embarrassed lol
Karl-o-mat: Did you ask her?
imGonnaDieInside: No, I’m too scared to acknowledge it bc then if she says yes it’s awkward and if she says no then it’s very sus
LilahDice: Or it can be an amazing conversation between two sisters. You should talk to her about sex
imGonnaDieInside: My partner agreed with you, so I just texted my sis and said “if you heard anything cray when you came home, I’m sorry” that’s the most I can do ahshdjd
Puncharella: Did she answer?? We're dyin' here!
imGonnaDieInside: She hasn’t responded :/
Cl0udSurfer: She still hadnt responded 7 hours later??
imGonnaDieInside: Updated the post:)
| 9 | 61.333333 | |
1674145883 | 1674490986 | t3_10g646b | t5_2to41 | 24 | Different_Ant_6484: TIFU by visiting a subreddit and wasting time falling into a rabbit hole
Not a huge fuck up but still kind of weirded out. So a few days ago, I got stoned and I stumbled upon this subreddit [r/FYCOD\_II](https://www.reddit.com/r/FYCOD_II/) and proceeded to go down this rabbit hole of bizarre posts and even more bizarre members. You know how sometimes you see things that aren't there? I really spent hours upon hours looking at the post history of the members, trying to connect the dots that probably are not even there. This all culminated to the point where I messaged a few of the members trying to figure out what the heck I was even reading. Well, the further in I went, the more I felt like I was going insane. And then, some of the members began responding to my messages, like all is normal, and I began to feel even more weirded out. I know there are a lot of random subreddits out there that don't mean much, but this one for some reason just sucked me in. Anyways, after doing some more digging I learn that - they are just Reddit bots. I've wasted all this time investigating a bunch of bots, thinking their gibberish was some massive puzzle to be solved.
​
TL;DR I spent hours deep diving into a subreddit and it's members, trying to piece together a puzzle, only to realize I was interacting with bots.
Onestarawake: So I went down a little bit of the same rabbit hole [and i'm not convinced you were wrong](https://www.reddit.com/r/worldproblems/)
Different_Ant_6484: Huh interesting
| 3 | 8 | |
1672656143 | 1672779397 | t3_1019nmz | t5_2to41 | 673 | sophan_y: TIFU by getting drunk and pulling my IUD out
Yes, you read that right, I pulled my IUD out.
So this happened New Year’s Eve, I got way too drunk and then came home but prior, I was out, I remembered having a tampon in so I went to the bathroom and took it out. Don’t ask why, but I did.
I came home, got in the shower, and then said to myself “oh, I still have my tampon in, I need to take that out.” So I basically dig in there and another tampon literally comes out. But then I start slowly remembering that I had already taken the newest tampon out while I was at the club, so I was very scared and very worried. I have no idea how long that’s been stuck up there, but I don’t think more than one week. While this worry is consuming me, I start freaking out that there might be ANOTHER one inside of me.
So yes, you already guessed it…i literally shove my fingers all the way in there and felt a string. I just KNEW it was another tampon, so I pulled and pulled and pulled while squatting in the shower so it would be easier to do. It comes out, I look down, and it’s my freaking IUD. In my hand. My IUD, that’s up in my uterus through my cervix which is a hole smaller than the size of a pinky and can hurt when you’re hitting it/touching it, was out, in my bare hands.
I look at my boyfriend and start freaking out and fell and sat down in the tub and now I have to make an appointment with my gynecologist because they were closed today. I’m having cramps, I’m afraid my period is going to start, and I’m afraid I hurt my cervix/uterus somehow.
And no, this is NOT how you remove an IUD.
TL;DR I got drunk and pulled my IUD out thinking it was a tampon.
Leningradite: I... feel like this shouldn't be possible to do by mistake. It boggles my mind that you could even get a hold of that thing. Hope things work out, though.
CoffeeBeanx3: Actually it's a good thing that they come out so easily! Modern IUDs are made of flexible plastic, and the most common T shaped ones can go to Y or even I shapes for insertion and removal.
The thread feels very different from any tampon strings I know, though. It's a very rigid monofilament string, and it is stabby enough that it can accidentally defend it's territory from invaders, if said invader happens to be well endowed.
Some people have them trimmed very short to avoid that, which makes removal harder (even the normal removal in a medical setting), but I personally find it pretty reassuring that I can check the placement via the string.
I probably wouldn't be able to yank it out myself though, because the string is also quite smooth and my grip strength is complete shit.
scarypatato11: Iv been with 2 women that had IUDS iv been stabbed by both, yet I constantly get told that it isn't hard enough to stab you or hurt you in anyway.
CoffeeBeanx3: Yup, and women get told by doctors that the cervix isn't able to feel pain and insertion will be "No big deal", so welcome to the club.
The thread isn't *dangerous*, but it's rigid and we're talking about genitals here, they're known to be quite sensitive. The skin is also pretty delicate, so any small scratch can lead to bleeding if you're unlucky.
luke-rule: I highly doubt any doctor who graduated medical school would tell anyone that the cervix can't feel pain. Although for most people getting an IUD it shouldn't be a big deal, there's always a chance that someone might experience discomfort as everyones body is different.
I'm sorry to hear that you had an unpleasant experience.
Koffeepotx: I'm sorry what???? Discomfort??? Not a big deal? It can be excruciatingly painful, thank you very much
luke-rule: I am sorry that your experience was unpleasant, in most cases it should only cause slight discomfort, and only take 5 minutes. It is considered a minimally invasive procedure due to it not requiring any incisions or invasive tools. It can be done in your standard health providers office. most doctors would recommend taking a pain medication before your appointment. Again, I'm sorry you had an unpleasant time, but in most cases there is nothing to worry about.
Ladymistery: you've clearly never had an IUD put in, or a pap smear
slight discomfort my giant ass. It hurts like FUCK
luke-rule: Again, I'm not trying to dismiss the fact that you where in pain, all I'm trying to say is that in most cases, it should not be more than a little uncomfortable. But I'm sorry that you gad a bad experience with it.
Ladymistery: go mansplain somewhere else
| 11 | 61.181818 | |
1674490787 | 1674562376 | t3_10jgccb | t5_2to41 | 970 | Tacocat0927: TIFU By eating popcorn off our living room floor
This happened two days ago, and I couldn't make this up if I tried. Last Saturday, my daughter (10f) was allowed to have 6 friends spend the night for her birthday. We have one of those large "old timey" popcorn machines in our house, so we fired it up so the girls could eat popcorn while watching a movie. After the movie was over, they went up to my daughter's room to get ready for bed, and I started cleaning up the living room. I noticed there was one small spilt pile of popcorn on the floor, and in my infinite wisdom, I thought "hey, I just vacuumed like 2 hours ago, floor is clean, I'll just grab it and eat it instead of walking all the way to the trash." When I bite down, I encounter something HARD, like really hard and way too big to be a popcorn kernel. I spit it out into my hand and its a freaking MOLAR, as in a human tooth. At first I think its mine, but after a quick check I realize all my teeth are accounted for. So I asked the girls and it turns out one of my daughters friends lost their tooth during the movie and just casually put it on the ground next to her and forgot about it. I had some random 10 year old's tooth in my mouth. Of course all the girls thought this was HILARIOUS (and not absolutely revolting like I did), so they proceed to tell every parent the story during pick up the next morning. You never realize how much a molar looks like popcorn until its already in your mouth. Fun times....
TLDR: Ate popcorn off the floor of my living room during my daughter's sleepover and her friends lost tooth was in it.
pimp_juice2272: For some reason, I could feel this in my mouth.
Ok_Ice0: Tbf you can imagine pretty much any texture in ur mouth if u try
Bootfullofanvils: Oh gee, thanks. Now I can't stop doing it.
cpullen53484: feel the sensation of sand in your mouth.
have fun, oh also
​
manually breath and blink too.
michelobX10: Bro, that last sentence. Why you do this to me?
NickCudawn: It's kind of weird how there's no comfortable position for your tongue in your mouth
cpullen53484: ok that's it, you are more evil than me.
| 8 | 121.25 | |
1674488246 | 1674506159 | t3_10jfbg6 | t5_2to41 | 10 | blong217: TIFU by not playing all the side bets on 3-card poker
[removed]
RandoCalrissian11: Side bets are all sucker bets and should not be played.
Yes, you could have won the $5000 but over time you’d lose more than $5000 or lose out on other winnings because you spend all your money there.
shardingHarding: +1
It feels bad missing out, but it's smarter not to play side bets as casinos have huge advantage on them but lure people in with the chance at high payouts.
I stick to bets with lower house edge. I play blackjack and certain craps bets (pass line/odds/6/8). (I do play hard 8 which is a suckers bet, but I can't help myself sometimes.)
Check out wizardofodds.com to see what casino edges are.
RandoCalrissian11: I love WizardofOdds. He has great write ups and good videos.
I love craps, mostly the don’t pass/don’t come but occasionally I’ll play pass and a few hard ways for fun.
I’ll also play blackjack. Odds are quite as good, but not bad.
Poker is the best, all self reliant there.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1674489876 | 1674494244 | t3_10jfzb7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu today at school
[deleted]
FightThaFight: GOOD JOB. Way to fight the good fight. Fuck all bullies! ESPECIALLY the orange ones.
[deleted]: Lmao 🤣 thanks
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1674494166 | 1674536926 | t3_10jhq9i | t5_2to41 | 47,840 | PythonPuzzler: TIFU by not knowing what Latina girls say in bed.
Obligatory: this happened a little over a year ago.
I had recently signed up for a popular dating app and matched with a lovely Venezuelan girl, let's call her "F". She was very sweet, and had recently moved to the US. We chatted in the app a bit and hit it off. Her replies were sometimes worded slightly oddly, but since I assumed English was probably not her first language, I didn't think much of it at all. I even asked if she would like to switch to chatting in Spanish, and she readily agreed. I know a *tiny* bit of Spanish (like, the amount you learn going to High School in the Southern US), so I got good at using Google Translate to help me out.
Fast forward a week or so later, we were clicking in the app and decided to meet up. I met her at her job (a casino) as she was getting off work. The casino parking lot was rather large so I called her for the first time to coordinate exactly which section to meet up in. The conversation went something like this:
>"Hey F! It's me PythonPuzzler! I'm near the main entrance, where exactly should I pick you up?"
>"...<silence>..."
>"Um, hello?"
>"...Lo siento. No hablo Inglés."
At this point, I realize that she doesn't speak *any* English, and must have been doing exactly what I did, which was to use Google Translate. I was a little surprised that she didn't mention it before, but I thought: maybe she assumed I knew more Spanish than I actually did (even though I told her I was using Google Translate), and that we would be able to converse in Spanish. I decided not to bail and just give things a shot. I'd always wanted to brush up on my Spanish anyways, here was the perfect opportunity. (It's also possible the crop-top she was wearing factored into my decision. We may never know.)
So we went on the date, and ended up having a great time. Yes, it was awkward having our phones out the whole date to facilitate communication, but it's amazing what you can put up with and/or get used to when hormones are involved.
Fast forward to the first time we were in bed together. She was very vocal and, of course, spoke Spanish. Most of what she would say I understood and expected, "si..si" and "ay papi" etc...
But there was one thing she kept saying that confused me: "rico". Sometimes she would repeat it several times. Now, I knew that "rico" in Spanish is the masculine form of "rich", as in wealthy. So I thought, maybe this is an idiomatic expression I'm not familiar with, something that Latina girls say to express delight or satisfaction? Somewhat similar to how in English we would (sarcastically) say "Oh that's rich" where "rich" doesn't really have anything to do with the original meaning. (Not the best analogy, I'm just pointing out how in idioms words can change meaning). I thought it was either that or this girl believed I was wealthy and that turned her on?
In any case, I never brought it up. When you have to run 95% of your communication through an app you tend to be judicious about which topics to bring up. Questioning her dirty-talk was not something that cleared the bar.
We dated for several weeks, and I think this happened either every time or almost every time we were in bed. Again, I wasn't paying much attention to it because I thought I had an explanation. Things didn't work out between us, but it's not relevant to the TIFU.
Anyways, several months ago I was speaking to a friend of mine who is much more intelligent than I am. We were telling stories about sexy/funny things you've said/heard in bed, so I brought this up as something odd, but explained my reasoning that "It must be something Latina girls say in bed." Her face has been contorting the whole time I'm telling the story, but when I get to my "explanation", she loses her shit laughing at me. I'm confused, but when she (finally) manages to compose herself she says, "Oh honey, that's not something they say, that's a **NAME**".
Suddenly two things hit me: "Rico" is Spanish for "Richard", and I am a **fucking** idiot. I have **no** idea what this girl was thinking obviously, but my best guess is that she called out an ex's name accidentally, but then when I didn't react to it, she just rolled with it. Either that or she just never gave a fuck. Doesn't really matter, either way, I was a "Rico" substitute for weeks without realizing it.
Rico, if you're reading this down in Venezuela, F is clearly not over you.
TL;DR A Venezuelan chick kept calling out "rico" during sex. I thought it was just something Latina girls say in bed, but it was another dude's name.
EDIT: Oh my God. Some of you are pointing out that I was actually correct in my original assumption. I just Googled "things Latina girls say in bed" and "Qué rico" was on the first site.
Today I fucked up a TIFU post, sorry!
EDIT 2: Also, Rico is *not* Spanish for Richard. That's Ricardo. JFC, I could not have fucked this up more if I tried.
To all those asking, I had never heard the song "Rico Suave", but I *have* heard the phrase, which I assumed meant a smooth lover, like Casanova, but I also thought it was a name. Like, "Ricky Smooth" or something.
arrozconpoyo: Venezuelan here. Rico means that you're doing good buddy. You would use that for food but if you say it with a smirk it immediately adopts sexual connotations. In bed, it means she loves whatever you're doing.
PythonPuzzler: Thanks, others have pointed out that it is a very normal thing to say in bed, and that I'm an idiot. This is final confirmation, coming from a Venezuelan, lol.
CadeMan011: So basically this post went from "TIFU" to "TIF"
PythonPuzzler: *giggle*
RuaRealta: Maybe you should try to contact her again and tell her you fucked up and you now know she really liked your, maybe she wants to give it another go lol
PythonPuzzler: I've posted it elsewhere, but the short version is we stopped dating because she love-bombed me, then months later asked me for $200 for car repairs out of the blue.
EDIT: When I said love-bombed, I meant she said "I'm in love with you" after just a few weeks of dating. I've now learned that's not really the correct usage.
The fuller story is: She told me that *she* wanted to break up because I was only interested in dating casually (which was true) and she was in love. I respected her wishes. Months later she asked for money for car repairs, I said no and she tried to guilt me for not paying when we hadn't even spoken in months.
SirGrinchPSN: What is love-bomb?
PythonPuzzler: She told me she loved me after a few weeks of knowing each other. That is *way* too soon (IMO) to know that you love someone.
NoHandBananaNo: Just FYI, "love bombing" means overly showering someone with excessive affection, gifts, compliments, etc, usually to manipulate them.
It's usually used to refer to domestic violence perps doing it to get their victims to forgive them.
It definitely doesn't just mean dropping the L word too soon.
PythonPuzzler: Interesting, I've never heard it in the context of abuse. What you're describing is actually the "Reconciliation" phase of the Abuse Cycle.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cycle_of_abuse#3:_Reconciliation
I've only ever heard it in the context of saying "I love you" too soon. But that's just among my friends, haven't really seen it online, but it turns out you're right.
Although, telling someone that too soon actually *is* manipulative and unhealthy. So it would have been a pre-cursor to abuse in this case.
DirtyPoul: >Although, telling someone that too soon actually is manipulative and unhealthy.
How so? Assuming it's truthful then how can it be manipulative?
PythonPuzzler: In the same way it would be manipulative to try to get someone to invest in a ponzi scheme, even if you genuinely believed it to be a good investment. I believe in intentional vs accidental manipulation.
In this case, she literally hit me up for money a few months later. Looks like I was right to see it as a red flag.
thecowintheroom: I think it’s manipulative of you to make women feel you love them using sex and then to do exactly what you just did. Your TIFU was being afraid of love
PythonPuzzler: >I think it’s manipulative of you to make women feel you love them using sex and then to do exactly what you just did.
I literally never told her I loved her. We were consenting adults who had sex. We never had a conversation about it being anything more than casual dating.
>Your TIFU was being afraid of love
Afraid to love a person that would ask for money after months of not speaking? She was clearly unstable. Asking for hundreds of dollars is widely considered a red-flag even in the context of a committed dating relationship.
I am not trying to be mean, but you clearly have very unhealthy views about reasonable boundaries and expectations in early relationships. Please do yourself a favor, and don't jump into a relationship and tell someone you are in love until you actually have had a chance to get to know them. A few weeks is not *nearly* enough time to get to know someone's heart, character and personality. The only thing you are "in love" with after 3 weeks is either their body or the (very incomplete) image you have constructed of them in your mind.
| 15 | 3,189.333333 | |
1674500189 | 1674519868 | t3_10jk9vz | t5_2to41 | 856 | Well-it-depends-on: TIFU my job interview by knocking the big boss’s coffee all over her
I’ve applied for a better job and really excited by it. Had a few remote interviews on Teams and now through to the final round in person on site. Today was the big day!
Two different interviews then a walk round the site. Everything felt good and I was really optimistic.
At the end the hiring manager took me back to the reception area and for some completely bizarre reason I decided to walk backwards whilst saying goodbye to him. I did hear the shout of “watch out” in stereo but too late and I crashed into someone, knocking her coffee all over her white shirt.
I then found out she was the Head of Operations aka the hiring manager’s boss’s boss! So that was nice!
I’ve not yet heard back from them!
UPDATE: I got the job! They’ve just made me an offer at more than my target salary and I’ve accepted! Off to celebrate with something a bit stronger than coffee! Thanks everyone!
TL;DR at my job interview I wasn’t looking where I was going and bumped into someone very senior and spilled her coffee all over her.
Dry_Possibility_1389: Okay hear me out, you shouldn't have been walking backwards but if she was walking forwards why did she not see you?
Well-it-depends-on: She did see me. She was one of the ones who shouted. I don’t think she was moving, she was standing talking to someone. It all happened quite quickly.
Ocean_Spice: She saw you and was standing still and just… decided not to move? And to let you walk into her instead?
Well-it-depends-on: I don’t know exactly. It happened so fast, hard to say and I was going backwards.
SmokingMirrors2: OP send her a email or LinkedIn note to apologise about the situation it shows maturity and is another touch point for you in the interview
bcash101: I might even take it a step further and offer to cover a dry cleaning bill if applicable. Shows willingness to own a mistake.
can_of_cream_corn: OP could also suggest buying her a coffee if they get the job as a chance to put water under the bridge and pick her brain about success at said company.
| 8 | 107 | |
1674502805 | 1674628745 | t3_10jlcun | t5_2to41 | 113 | tsulegit: TIFU by cleaning my cat’s anus.
Earlier this morning, I noticed a small amount of fecal matter in my cat’s anus. She often has her tail up in the air, especially when she’s meowing for treats.
I proceeded to grab a wipe and the cat, and gently cleaned the area. It was in that moment that she squirted out a foul smelling poop spray onto my pants and the carpet.
To make matters worse, her brother cat came over and started licking it up off the floor before I had the opportunity to clean it! And I thought dogs were gross…
In my previous experiences of cleaning her area (because her brother cat often spooks her while she’s conducting business), she’s expressed her unhappiness to be fair. But never like this!
I was under the impression that cats were clean little angels. Today, I fucked up and learned otherwise. 🐈 💨
TL;DR: noticed some goblins on my cat’s rear, so I cleaned it off and was sprayed with poop.
CptSmarty: Cats can clean themselves (\~30 to 50% of the day).
&#x200B;
Stop touching your cats asshole.
tsulegit: Yeah, she does clean herself. She sometimes misses, though, and I’d prefer to keep that shhh off the couch.
CptSmarty: Just to reiterate,
&#x200B;
**Stop touching your cats asshole.**
&#x200B;
Shes can handle it all by herself. Shes a cat, thats what cats do.
knowutimsayin: Daaaaaaaaaaang Ok CptSharty we get it, don't touch the cat's asshole
EternalShoptimist: BUT DON’T TOUCH THE ASSHOLE!
EternalShoptimist: /s
| 7 | 16.142857 | |
1674503922 | 1674510839 | t3_10jltkp | t5_2to41 | 23 | SchnarchendeSchwein: TIFU by accidentally turning my kitten into a lesbian separatist
My wife and I adopted a kitten when he was four months old. We’re a same sex couple, and his foster home was made up of a woman and her mother. Most of the cat rescue organization he came from is made up of women as well. He is super cute, orange and kind of dumb. He thinks ponytails or long hair are toys, and he likes to sit on the backs of chairs or couches and groom us or chase my wife’s ponytail. It’s not like he bites or hurts, so it’s fine, let him have fun.
I generally try to patronize and buy from women-owned brands and stores. Also, I don’t get out much. My dad and I don’t get along because he has anger issues.
I do have male friends, but one is across the country from me, and the other moved to South Korea. My only brother lives in DC.
When we get pet sitters, we use a friend of my wife’s, who is single for the past year or so. My family has also learned to do many tasks at home ourselves, like repairs and cooking from scratch. Deliveries come to the apartment entrance where kitten is not allowed.
One day, the kitten was having trouble with transitioning to better quality food. He had it out both ends and seemed tired, though still full of beans (and farts!) Worried, I made a vet appointment for the Saturday, since that day was cat-only at the office and I didn’t want the little guy to be scared.
So I took him to the vet. The main owner and vet was running things that day. The vet is one of the only dudes I know locally, aside from an elderly neighbor my kitten has not met.
Kitten saw a much taller, odd-smelling human with a full beard, and was freaked out! Not aggressive, but he looked so confused by…maleness, I guess? When the vet picked him up. Vet is great, very good with all animals
But Mr. Kitty found the one similar thing on this new strange human- hair! A long bit of it hanging down, although it was in front, not back. He loves hair and thinks everything is a toy…
Yep. Kitten reared back, batted at, and chomped on the vet’s beard as if it were a ponytail! But this beard was considerably shorter.
Yep. He accidentally took a fucking CHOMP on the vet’s chin! I started laughing and looked like a psycho, until I could be coherent enough to explain how my kitten got his wires crossed.
Luckily, the vet was not mad for long. I left with probiotics for kitten, and instructions to try to socialize him with men. I realized only then that kitten had NEVER seen any guys before, ever.
TL;DR: Accidentally raised a kitten to dislike men and chomp beards, by being an independent-minded lesbian who lets kitten play with hair.
RudeSprinkles1240: You don't actually need to socialize your kitten to men; you need to find a woman veterinarian.
SchnarchendeSchwein: I know, but this vet has a “fear free” certification and all my pets like it there other than this incident. Calming pheromones, treats, toys at the counter.
I also like that there are cat only days and the vet is willing to see all 4 at once for their annuals.
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1674505404 | 1674508427 | t3_10jmfq0 | t5_2to41 | 8 | nachumk: Tifu by not knowing what sub-tropical meant
Obligatory mention that this happened over winter break.
Wife and I are planning a trip to Taiwan. Over many years she has used the term sub-tropical to describe Taiwan and to explain the weather (mostly about it being hot or humid). Over and over I’ve heard her describe Taiwan as sub-tropical. So when we started planning our trip I was packing like I was going to Hawaii. Shorts, t-shirts, beach clothing.
Didn’t know that sub-tropical is basically the same weather as the lower half of the US. Luckily she asks me what I’m packing and advised me to bring some jeans and long sleeved shirts.
Had to wear the same stuff a bit more than intended and definitely felt foolish with all my “sub-tropical” clothes that went unused. But luckily didn’t freeze my ass off.
TLDR: TIFU by not knowing that sub-tropical is not the same as tropical and packed for a sub-tropical trip with tropical clothing!
AllanfromWales1: Next you'll be telling me a marine isn't the same as a sub-marine.
fliguana: And sublime is not a lime.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1674503032 | 1674529047 | t3_10jlgad | t5_2to41 | 28 | beanfox101: TIFU by helping my BF cook after a bad night
Okay, well, it happened over the weekend. I (22F) am staying with my BF (24M) of six months while going back and forth from college. This weekend I drove to our apartment and parked the car on the side of the street. Later we get a call from his mother saying that a car’s side mirror was left in front of our door.
Long story short, someone had hit my car in a drunken accident and drove off. The side mirror that came off was theirs, but my car also took some damages. I quickly became upset, and just wanted to relax the rest of the night. My BF offered a margarita just to help calm my nerves and I took him up on the offer.
For context, I take abilify to help with my bipolar disorder. For those that don’t know, that medicine and alcohol don’t always mix. For me, it gets me “double drunk,” or just drunk quicker. So, I usually just take small sips when I have a drink, and usually I only get sleepy.
However, this time my BF put in more Tequila than usual. I was handed the drink and I began to suck it down. I was so thirsty from driving for three hours. I also hadn’t had much to eat yet and my taste buds were craving something sweet. I mention about half the way down the drink that we needed food. My BF goes to make some mac and cheese just to get something in our stomachs.
Eventually he calls me over to come drain the pasta. Since I am scared of holding the strainer and having water being poured towards my hands, I usually hold the pot and pour it in. However, this time when I stood up, I realized I was F-ed up. Really fucked up. But in my head I kept telling myself “you’re just draining pasta, you can do this.
I was handed the pot of pasta, I saw the strainer, and I just began to pour… all over myself. Boiling water directly into my crotch area. I yelled and all I remember next was removing my pants and putting a wet towel between my legs. I had given myself 2nd/3rd degree burns on my upper thighs and just barely missed my poor coochie. My BF was freaking out, also drunk, and not sure what to do. So we ended up adding ointment to the areas, having band-aids, and just waiting. My right thigh is nice and red while my left thigh has dark areas and bubbling.
So lesson learned: eat first and then drink.
TL:DR- I got drunk, tried to pour pasta into drainer, and ended up getting burned in my tighs
Happylifenowife: So if I understand someone is holding the strainer and the other is pouring boiling or was boiling water over it? If so why are you doing it that way? Put the strainer in the sink and pour over the sink. It goes right down the drain. Also check Amazon they have these clip on strainers there about 1/4 diameter of the pot and flexible. Work great for pasta.
Hope your burns heal quickly too BTW. I know they can be extremely painful.
beanfox101: We have a crappy strainer that has no way to sit down. He was holding the strainer while I was going to pour water into said strainer. Because of tiny apartment kitchen size, I usually pour the water towards myself into the strainer so I can see it better
Happylifenowife: Gotcha. Definitely check out those clip on one's. They work great.
beanfox101: I am now excitedly telling my BF this. We just had to maneuver how to drain a wok in our almost-full sink
| 5 | 5.6 | |
1674507346 | 1674663158 | t3_10jn8oq | t5_2to41 | 78 | misteradma: TIFU by buying my cancer surviving cousin a thc tincture.
Obligatory FU happened this weekend, maybe six months ago (depending on if we use purchase date or first use).
I ended up moving in with a cousin after my divorce. She had a room for rent, and i was trying to start over in my mid forties. Being she was located in Southern California, it made financial sense to both of us.
Over the next six months, we ended up becoming the best of friends. That summer, she found a lump in her arm pit. Ate was diagnosed with stage 2C breast cancer a few weeks later.
The cancer was aggressive enough (along with having BRCA gene) that she had a double mastectomy, as well as radiation burning a hole through her chest that never healed. The doctor recommended a lat flap (they cut a piece of your back out at the lattismus dorsi, or your lats if you’re unaware) and place it into the chest to replace the muscle/skin). Along with a half dozen other surgeries, including reconstruction…she’s in consistent pain. Her daily pain rates a 6, at minimum.
She’s not too into pills (already raises a minimum of 12 every day just due to the cancer alone) so she tried a cbd tincture to begin with. It helped, but over the years it just didn’t do enough. When she worked her way to thc/cbd tinctures is when she started to really began to feel normal again. Her body would start to crack, muscles able to stretch again, and she could walk without being in pain.
She now takes tinctures with thc after work to be able to relax. However, as time and tolerance go on, i notice that she’s now starting to take full droppers. She almost always ends up being able to move like she used to before the diagnosis, but the idea that she is going to using a full dropper seemed like it was time to up the dosage.
So, here’s where i fucked up. My job requires random drug testing, and i haven’t used weed since the early 2000s. To say i have no tolerance is an understatement. It’s even more of an understatement to say i had no idea in just how far the strength of thc has increased over the near 20 years since i was a regular.
I went into the local dispensary and explained her situation. The budtender recommended me some options, but i figured i would do her a solid. I bought her the strongest stuff they had, and explained that her tolerance must be high because of the dosage she takes.
They give her some stuff called the Remedy.
I gave it to her that night, and explained just that…it’s the strongest tincture they had at the store. She thanked me, and put it with her other bottle that she hadn’t finished. However, we ended up moving shortly after as our landlord sold the house.
Somewhere in the move, that tincture was lost. We lost quite a bit and are still finding it months after moving.
Fast forward to Friday night. I’m at work out of state, and she’s texting me that she’s on the way home from work. I’ve long forgotten about this tincture, and she’s using her normal brand that she’s had for the last year.
Strangely enough, i don’t hear from her for the rest of the night. I thought that was strange, but she sometimes falls asleep in the recliner and wakes up later to go to bed. No big deal.
At 5am, i get a text in the way to work asking if I’m awake. She took the tincture, thought it was crap after two hours…and then she felt it. She said it came out of nowhere, and she couldn’t focus. It knocked her out for five hours, and she was hallucinating.
She woke up hallucinating, and fell asleep for another 5 hours. Note she’s awake talking to me.
I asked her how much she took. She treated it like any of her other tincture in the past, and took AN ENTIRE DROPPER.
She’s now back at work and finally coming down. The exact quote she sent me was “I’m going to punch you in the fucking face the next time i see you. Why are you trying to kill me?” She’s laughing it off now, but was so scared this weekend. She also had to attend mass at a Catholic Church yesterday, and was with her heavily religious family.
Some highlights from her texts Saturday and Sunday:
Dude - what the fuck. I feel like a cartoon character
I swear they put acid in the bottle
I watched my hands melt
I think i need an exorcism
I can feel my heart beating in my eyeballs
This is all your fault when you think about it, and I’m gonna tell the lord
SUNDAY
I’m too high for this. I’m asking the lord to forgive me, and Uber to help me because i can’t drive.
I swear if i see spirits swooping around, I’M OUT
FUCK YOU CLOCK (accompanied with a photo of the car stereo that said the time was 4:20)
MONDAY (coming down)
I swear this shit is laced with LSD. How is it even legal?
I took my meds yesterday and swore I felt cancer cells bursting inside of me when I did. Like honestly….what the fuck
You know how i one i was fucked up? I was eating Sizzler…and as a foodie, I’m embarrassed.
I thought I saw a saint wink at me in church
TL;DR - cousin suffers pain from breast cancer. She takes tincture to help with her pain, and i assume she needs a much higher dose. I get her the strongest i can find, and she trips balls for 2* days, cusses me out for trying to kill her.
Dick-Rot: The cancer cells bursting comment got me laughing
drewwfuss: that and the saint winking at her is what got me 😂
Dick-Rot: My mom started smoking weed a few years ago at the ripe age of 60+ due to cost of medications rising and just generally being fed up with pain and now, theres times shes sitting there all baked and staring at the wall and then she'll snap put of it with a comment like "wow I grew up in the 70s and I never once tried this" and then goes back to zoning out and chilling with the animals, then 5 minutes later she'll start talking about crocheting and other mom shit
Makes me smile lol
drewwfuss: older people stoned are the best! im waiting for the moment my dad caves and decides to try. he's getting to the fed up w pain point too and nearing retirement anyway
hope i get some great quotes out of him like yall do! 😂
Dick-Rot: Chances are hes gonna end up talking about embarassing things that you've forgotten about, that's usually what conversations divert to now-a-days for myself
"Remember when you did this and that with so and so...?
My mom loves to bring up my misadventures with drinking in my youth. I think my embarrassment fuels her lol
| 6 | 13 | |
1672666511 | 1672668797 | t3_101crlw | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU spending NYE alone
[deleted]
taketurnsandlove: I just read a book called “Find Your People.” Highly recommended
No_Back2887: I’ll have to check it out, mind summarizing?
taketurnsandlove: It talks about being real and authentic and telling the truth in love (no faking), how people are imperfect and we all need love and grace, because we all hurt each other, but ya have to be brave. Because people will hurt you, but it's visa versa and if you want connection, it's worth the risk. Gotta be tough. It also talks about how conflict can deepen relationships if worked through and how you find what you look for in people. If you look for good, you will find it. Opposite is true. Talks about being committed to the relationship rather than giving up. The book is better ha ha
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1674508857 | 1674556982 | t3_10jnvie | t5_2to41 | 12,619 | Pure_Discipline_293: TIFU by telling my kid to throat punch his bully at school.
Actual fuck up happened yesterday at the dinner table after school. After effects of my fuck up have me currently at the ER getting my son checked out for anaphylactic shock.
Yesterday, My kid came home and was obviously upset. So I asked him what was wrong ( he’s 8 so he still talks to me about this stuff ). He proceeds to tell me that at lunch, another kid in his class is bullying him about his peanut allergy, saying that he’s faking his allergy and that he’s gonna wipe some peanut butter on him to prove that he is faking. My kid says to him that he isn’t faking and that could die just from touching peanut butter…… other kid said he didn’t care and that he wanted him to die anyway….At this point my kid said that he told the teacher and the lunch room monitor who both know about his allergy and they were able to intervene yesterday.
I had a long talk with my kid about doing the right thing and telling the teacher and not letting this other kid make him lash out. Then we talked about the hard part…..
Now, I’m sure I’m gonna generate some hate with some people here with what I told him next and that’s fine, we are allowed to have differing opinions….. but I’m not apologizing to anyone for teaching my kid to stand up and defend himself.
After we talked about doing the right thing, and doing everything you can do to avoid a bad situation, I told him that sometimes you have to do the wrong thing to protect yourself and that should always be the absolute last resort…. When he asked what I meant, I told him that if that kid as long as the bully is only taunting him with words then he should always walk away but if he ever did try to put peanut butter on you then you hit him as hard as you can with the side of your hand in the throat….. kind like a throat chop…. Then you stop unless the bully keeps trying.
Fast forward to this very afternoon and I get a call from the principle of the school saying that my son assaulted another student and needed to be picked up. I asked what happened and of course they won’t talk about it over the phone…. But I smiled a little bit because I already knew.
I get to school and i see my kid sitting in the office tears streaming down his face. So I walk in and the principle tries talking to me but I blow right past her and ask my kid what happened. He says the bully had peanut butter on his fingers and he was threatening to wipe it on his face. Then my kid said that he did what I told him to do and hit the kid in the throat because he wiped peanut butter on his arm. I looked at his arm that was pretty swollen up, and asked him if he was having trouble breathing. Kid said he was fine just a little shaky.
At this point the principle interrupts with her “mr so&so, we can’t just have kids hitting other children just because they had a little peanut butter wiped on them….. kids do this kind of thing… we are gonna have to suspend him for a few days”
It’s obvious to me that principle is clueless about the peanut allergy so I cut her off and asked my kid if he told the bully to stop before he hit the other kid. He said yes I yelled at him several times that I’m allergic to peanut butter and told him to stop and he just kept acting like he was gonna wipe it on me.
Now the principle has a shocked look on her face. I ask to see the video from the cafeteria and sure as shit my kid can be seen and heard screaming and trying to back away from his bully. At the point where it looks like the bully grabs my kids arm, my kids yells at the top of his little lungs “ I told you to stop”! Then he grabs the bully by the arm, pulls him towards himself and executes the best clothesline I’ve ever seen anyone do and floors this kid. Then my kid sits down and starts crying in the middle of the cafeteria.
At this point I tell the principle that If my kid isn’t allowed back at school tomorrow I was consulting with a lawyer about the attempted murder of my son. I also said that assuming he didn’t have any other ill effects from this I would be fine not pressing charges against the school and the bully since it looks like he may have already learned his lesson.
Since I didn’t get a response and it’s been about half an hour since the peanut butter was wiped on my kids arm, I picked him up and left to take him To the Er to get checked out.
About 10 minutes ago I got a phone call from the school board superintendent saying that the school board has decided to let my kid come back to school tomorrow.
Edit#1 - kid has a clean bill of health form the hospital. Swelling is starting to go down after some epinephrine.
Edit#2 - kid got cookies and cream ice cream!
Edit#3 - I have been invited to a meeting with the school board Thursday afternoon. Will update afterwards.
Edit#4 - Just left the meeting which wasn’t with the school board as I was led to believe on the phone, it was with the principle and a legal representative from the school board.
Had lawyer with me and prior to this meeting and we discussed what I wanted out of this meeting.
My main concerns were:
#1. Making sure that there was a procedure in place to keep allergens away from my child.
#2. Ensuring that this child has no ability to assault my child again.
I also wanted to know how it was that the principle wasn’t informed or aware of my child’s allergy prior to trying to tell me that he was gonna be suspended.
Lawyers talked legal stuff for a little bit while I listened and principal listened. Eventually my turn to talk came and I simply explained points #1 & #2 above. I also asked why principle didn’t take time to assess the whole situation….
The explanation I got was that she was told by the monitor that it was almond butter not peanut butter by the monitor, so she really didn’t look further into it. Which I can understand her point but it doesn’t make things any better from my perspective.
So cut and dry stuff first….
The bully child has been moved to a different school. Unfortunately, I don’t have any legal recourse to find out which school he has been moved to and frankly don’t care.
Cafeteria monitor has been fired. I didn’t hear this at the meeting but my sons teacher called last night last night after school and told me…. I asked why and I was told that she was distracted my her phone when all of the commotion started which explains why this was allowed to progress in the first place -
Based on the recommendation of a friend ( thanks AX ) and many of you via PM, i requested, and was accommodated with, an allergy free table at our school ( and I’m being told every other school in the district will be implementing one as well ) where children with know allergies will eat lunch at and anyone who eats with them will have their lunches inspected by a teacher and a monitor to ensure no allergens are present.
TL;DR
Told my kid to punch a bully in the throat. Kid listened and did it the next day and got suspended for defending himself. principle had no damn idea that my kid had a peanut allergy and was then unsuspended when I threatened to talk to a lawyer about attempted murder charges…..
opschief0299: Well I was reading it I kept saying in my mind *attempted murder, attempted murder, attempted murder*...and damn it you went there! Awesome! That's exactly what it was. Good Dad!
And you didn't FU at all. If you hadn't given him that advice, you would be watching a totally different story on the cameras. You saved his life.
Pure_Discipline_293: I don’t fuck around when it comes my kids….
Woodie626: I'd still press charges.
Pure_Discipline_293: If it happens again I will but somehow I don’t think it his is going to be an issue going forward.
woodlandtom: I hope the other child was suspended. Do you know what happened to him afterwards.
Pure_Discipline_293: School zone here has a policy that prevents me from being told what his punishment is. Don’t care frankly, karma got him.
babsibu: Press charges against the kid! Eff it. He literally tried to kill your son. And he clearly knows what he‘s doing since he TOLD your son he wants him to die anyway!
kentuckyruss: Why? Just to try and financially fuck the kids parents?
Buntschatten: No, so that the authorities will be aware of this kid who tried to kill another kid and hopefully provide guidance to the kid and/or their parents so that nothing like this happens again.
kentuckyruss: The only reason you'd press charges against a kid is to sue the parents.
dinosaur-boner: Honestly, the parents should be liable for this including financial damages. That will teach them to be better parents and teach the bully to never do that kind of thing again.
kentuckyruss: Definitely. No kid has ever been raised right and acted like an asshole at an elementary school. His parents should be ruined for life.
dinosaur-boner: Being sued and rightfully held to financial damages != ruined for life.
kentuckyruss: I'm not sure you understand what financial damages means. This family didn't suffer any financial damages.
dinosaur-boner: What? I’m not sure YOU know what that means. The kid had a medical emergency. That ain’t free in this country. Just quit while you’re already behind.
| 16 | 788.6875 | |
1674509426 | 1674532088 | t3_10jo3s5 | t5_2to41 | 74 | DoctorPerfect3284: TIFU
I’m fucked
I’m fucked
I’m fucked
I’m fucked
Didn’t really happen today but I have a really bad situation I’m a 14 year old boy and I have a girlfriend and I do really like her but I have no idea what to do so we have had sex multiple times at this point and I didn’t have a condom on me at this time and we did it I thought I was grand but a week later I get a picture of a positive test I panicked hard for the next while my grades dropped (went from 90 to 40 50) and my life has been screwed she saying that she won’t get rid of it and no matter what she is gonna keep the baby but I don’t really feel like we should fast forward a couple months she’s getting a bump so now I need to tell my parents and idk how
How fucked am I while typing this I’m trying to do a lot of homework and trying to figure out how I could fix this but I’m pretty sure I’m dead cause my young life is pretty much over at this rate like in my area once this gets out in a few days everybody will know and my family will probably be hated cause of a mistake I made and I have the best family and I think I’m ruining there life anyway this girl tbh I still love her anyway if u are reading thanks
TL;DR got girl pregnant idk what to do she got bump need to tell parents my life gonna be ruined
Update: I forgot to mention but I told my cousin who is 20 about this and she had pretty similar adivce to the rest of u and I read the comments so thanks for trying to help me
jotajega: The best thing to do is to keep calm and tell your parents about it, it's gonna be worse if you don't and they find out themselves.
Not much else to say.
phrsllc: Yeah- and they’re going to want to support you- if they’re good parents. Look at it that way.
| 3 | 24.666667 | |
1674234947 | 1674277897 | t3_10h2gin | t5_2to41 | 115 | Deva-Gupt-2006: TIFU by drinking homemade juice for 'health'
This actually happened a while ago but it is worth mentioning as the biggest duck up of my life (until now).
I'm 16; living in India with my parents; for the background. Dad is almost a health fanatic and does yoga and stuff, makes juice for 'boosting immunity' and all. Our whole family used to drink this homemade stuff until this very day...
So I was casually ready for school, and last thing I had to do was drink this bottleguard-bitterguard mix juice. I hated this part everyday but anyway took a sip. Immediately regretted it due to extremely bitter taste. Told dad; but he came back with "The bitterer the better". I shrugged and just drank it till the glass was half empty; for it was too unbearable. It was a cloudy day, so dad left me and my sister off to the school. Here, I started getting an unbearably bitter taste in my throat and too violent of movements in the tummy. I ate some apple from my friend's tiffin; but to no relief. I hardened my heart and told myself that I could bear the feeling till the end of the day.
I was very wrong in my assumption as I got a highly tense vomit feeling amidst the first period itself. Man, how fast did I run to take permission for the restroom and vomited like never before. All my tummy was wrenching inside and I could almost feel blood come to my throat. Controlled myself but couldn't have the power to go back to attend the class. My friend came in to ask about my health, while I could only painfully gurgle, shitting all the floor with vomit. Helping myself, I took repair to the clinic room of our school. Whatever medication they gave me for relief, I threw up into the bin kept beside. The school department was panicked and hurriedly took me to home in a van. In the way, I threw up, reaching home I threw up..
Got to know that no one's home. Well fuck! I couldn't bear it any more, had a feeling to just die off. Asked the neighbour; told to go to XYZ hospital where my dad was admitted too. Now everything made sense! I was taken to XYZ; hurriedly admitted and taken straight to the emergency room. Blood vomit everywhere. Dad by the wall on glucose or some medication. I dunno; maybe had to stay there for three days in the hospital with a ₹40,000 approx. bill. One day in ICU with dad, others in the grim general wards.
[ Later; I researched and got to know that this all fuckup was due to a poison cucurbutacin B or E; B is much more lethal; even causing death at times]
TLDR: drank some homemade poisonous juice made by dad; regardless went to school where I threw up a lot; taken to a clinic where dad was admitted too; admitted in ICU; and finally became the butt of the joke for a whole month; for a measly ₹40,000
Be aware about food poisoning folks!
SNAKEXRS: You had me at duck up....Haven't heard that since like 2nd grade.
Deva-Gupt-2006: I could've written Indian slangs like 'gaand me danda le liya' but you foreigners won't connect; no offence
cool-dude_7: Fat nhi gayi ?/s
Deva-Gupt-2006: Fat to gyi thi jab tatti krne ki koshish ki thi aur saathmein vomit vi ho rhi thi
So practically true
| 5 | 23 | |
1674500886 | 1674588891 | t3_10jkkqv | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: Tifu my first day of secondary school
When I first started secondary school in Britain, I’m from the uk it’s a normal thing for the yr7s to get bullied it’s almost expected. When my mam sent me off to school the first day she asked me if I was wearing knickers and I said yeah what are you on about mum and she says your are likely to get a few wedgies today. And I said to her what? What’s a wedgie? And I kid you not she was like are you joking and I was like no she started laughing and said oh love be sure to ask a yr9 that today and sent me off. By the end of the day it was bugging me so I ended up asking this group of girls what it was at break. Oh was I in for it … my mam was in stitches laughing when I came home and told her. It happened several times after that cause once it happens once it tends to happen after that. I realize now how stupid it was to ask I honesty deserved it I mean who asked that lol But ya I’ve been a frequent target since then. My mam was joking she didn’t expect me to actually ask and little did I know it was going to be a yr9
Tl;dr accidentally got myself bullied the beginning day of secondary school cause I was a muppet should have used google
spicysnakelover: Bro your mom sucks
Cherry___Popper: His mam*
[deleted]: Her mam
SSGhosTlc: Our mam
| 5 | 5.4 | |
1674508463 | 1674621375 | t3_10jnpl3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Kaia-Lilly: TIFU by washing my pillow
Before I start, just know that I'm not normally this stupid. But we all make mistakes by not thinking and this one is just so bad (in my opinion) that I have to share. Also, I'm on mobile so apologies for any weirdness on the post.
So last night, I found that one of my cats made an awful mess on my pillow that soaked in. The pillow is a memory foam type of pillow and I knew the pillow itself would need to be washed.
So this morning that's what I did. I put my pillow in my washing machine with no recognition of how bad this would go. Some time later my washing machine gives me its Error! sound and I go to investigate. It does this when something is heavy or the machine is off balance. I know it has to be the pillow but my brain doesn't comprehend why until I try to move my pillow.
It. Is. Soaked. More water than pillow right now. I struggle to pull out my pillow so I can try to squeeze out some water. It becomes painfully clear that I won't be able to squeeze out really any water while it is in the machine. So I wrap it into a towel and take it to my shower.
I then proceed to spend 30 minutes getting a great calf workout by walking all over my pillow to drain out as much water as I can. I now know what stomping grapes must feel like. It was an awful time.
I eventually got out as much as I could and threw it in the dryer. I had to run it through 3 times last night and then gae up for the night because the core was still wet.
So now I know. Never wash a pillow that is essentially a sponge.
TL:DR washing memory foam pillows is not good for your washer but is a good calf workout.
thehotmcpoyle: Make sure your cat is okay. I adopted an ancient cat years ago & he had some weird accidents, like pooping in my slipper. I figured it was him reacting to my other 2 cats but then he peed on my pillow & there was some blood. I took him to the vet & he had either a urinary tract infection or a kidney infection. Meds cleared everything up & there were no issues after that but I realized (I think) that he was trying to let me know he wasn’t feeling good. Hopefully your cat is fine but I wanted to share this just in case.
RIP to your pillow.
Kaia-Lilly: I think it was my female cat and she needs to be spayed. But I'll definitely keep an eye out for that! They definitely show their illnesses and frustration in weird ways.
Raspberry-hole: my male cat before neutering would pee on things instead of using his litter box, its possibly that too
Kaia-Lilly: Were keeping a close eye on everyone for the next few days just to be safe. So far everyone seems okay!
| 5 | 2.4 | |
1672684234 | 1672764972 | t3_101dv49 | t5_2to41 | 21 | aktorsyl: Their CS is fairly good if you go through Google One
Hypnoticbat9555: But you need to pay for that
smorkoid: You want good customer support AND free service?
Hypnoticbat9555: Their services are not free. I pay for them with my data. Google uses that data to make money.
smorkoid: Lol ok. It's free.
Hypnoticbat9555: No its a trade that is profitable for google. If they make money through me they should offer me support.
smorkoid: Google is not making money off your meager data.
If you don't like their lack of customer support for free users such as yourself, you can pay for a subscription or move to a different cloud provider.
Hypnoticbat9555: > Google is not making money off your meager data
Data and ads are their business model. This is what made them on of the biggest companies on earth.
> If you don't like their lack of customer support for free users such as yourself, you can pay for a subscription or move to a different cloud provider.
Thats what I did long ago
smorkoid: They aren't making money off your cloud storage, which is what you are trying to get customer support for.
Hypnoticbat9555: Thats true.
| 10 | 2.1 | |
1674514646 | 1674583692 | t3_10jq8a3 | t5_2to41 | 113 | [deleted]: TIFU for getting my 12-year-old son drunk
[deleted]
Desperate-Ad729: I really doubt this is a true story. Drinking at 8 in the morning? Getting drunk off one glass of wine in 3 minutes?
Assertive_Pickle: kids get drunk faster than adults, ok. and I can drink whenever I want.
Desperate-Ad729: I understand that, but 3 minutes is a very short time.
dpg3456: it takes something like an hour to process one drink.
Edit: changed shot to drink
Coctyle: That’s ridiculous. You don’t process alcohol at all and you can feel the effects of it immediately.
akennelley: I have to believe he means processing the drink takes an hour to clear. Alcohol obviously takes immediate effect, and somewhere around an hour per glass/bottle/shot to start to wear off.
dpg3456: Yup, that's it. ["On average, it takes about one hour to metabolize one standard drink. "](https://www.alcoholrehabguide.org/alcohol/how-long-alcohol-stay-system/)
Coctyle: Metabolizing alcohol is what makes you sober. It is the process of removing the alcohol from the body. That is the process that takes one hour per drink (for an average person).
The comment you originally replied to was in regards to the time it takes to get drunk. The person was doubting that OP got drunk beyond the capacity for rational thought in three minutes.
I share the doubts about the veracity of the post, but it absolutely does not take one hour for alcohol to get into a person’s bloodstream and make the person intoxicated. That’s would be a misunderstanding of what it means to metabolize alcohol.
dpg3456: I was using the term process in the sense of the alcohol being broken down then released by the body. But I see where the confusion came from.
| 10 | 11.3 | |
1672670394 | 1672671717 | t3_101e5gi | t5_2to41 | 22 | ShittyAussieDude: TIFU by getting into a loud and heated argument with my mum, not realising that my military dad was getting home from training today.
I (16M) earlier today shouted at my little brother (10) when he broke into my room for like the 10th time today. That later led to my mum, a student getting her PHD, to shout at me for a bit until I went to my room.
I then read up on some counter arguments to debate with her later and get her to realise she cant just dump my little bro on me when I'm studying the extra homework she gave me to do ON THE HOLIDAYS.
So after a few hours of prep work, I had thought of counter arguments to every one of her bullshit arguments she has like "Read the fifth commandment" (Honour thy father and thy mother) and stuff that she uses to shut me up when Im making my point.
So the time came, I walked up to her and started telling her my points, but it soon turned into a very heated argument, I was holding back as hard as I could to not swear at her, but I was still not exactly being cordial and polite.
But then, I heard the door creak open, and I turned to see my hulking RAAF (Royal Australian Airforce) father standing there with a serious expression on his face. He said "Lily, what's all this about? Why are you fighting with Ethan?" As he looked at me coldly. My mum then twisted the story to say that "Ethan was just being a rude brat who was talking back to his parents."
My dad turned to face me again with a look of rage, and in the full wrath of a mildly pissed off military dad, he dragged me out to his big ol' ute (Aussie slang for a pickup truck) and strapped me in, before driving me out about 4 km away telling me that if I'm not home in 15 minutes, I'm grounded for a month. He knows full well that I am not good at long distance running, so set me up to fail. And I got home 27 minutes later.....so yeah, I'm grounded.
Update: I'm still grounded, but I got my dad to lighten the punishment due to me making a deal with him this morning while he was in a good mood, that deal being if I land a punch on him in a sparring match (with pads ofc), then he would lessen my punishment to 2 weeks. And surprisingly, I did manage to land a punch on him square in the gut.
TL;DR: I got into an argument with my mum, my airforce dad walked in, proceeded to drag me into his car, and then made me run 4 km in a time near impossible for me. So I got grounded....for a month.
&#x200B;
Edit History:
1st edit: Changed "wrath of an ex-drill sergeant" to "wrath of a mildly pissed off military dad" because drill sergeants can be a lot worse.2nd edit: Corrected typo in the 6th character, I wrote "F" Instead of "M" specifying gender due to ADHD and me thinking about writing about my mum first.
sdforbda: How come in the multiple times that you've posted this you've been both male and female?
ShittyAussieDude: multiple times? look at my post history. I just made this account today cos of an AITA post.
Edit: Oh god, I just realised that I made a typo lol. I'm a male. sorry.
sdforbda: Yes, 3 threads between here and AITA. But way to not address my question.
ShittyAussieDude: Look at the edit mate. I made a typo, was gonna talk about my mum first so was thinking "FEMALE" at the time.
sdforbda: You wouldn't have needed to tell us that your mom is female.
ShittyAussieDude: yeah, thats why I changed it and talked about me first.
| 7 | 3.142857 | |
1672671325 | 1672926061 | t3_101ei4i | t5_2to41 | 81 | immei: TIFU by taking Xanax and ruining my 1 year anniversary and possibly my relationship
To start out I would like to preface with the fact that I have struggled with addiction to painkillers for the past year. My girlfriend has known about this and has been incredibly supportive and helpful. But new year's eve she asked me if I could get some mdma for her and her best friend. I asked if I could join them while they do it but not really planning on taking any or very little if I did. I asked to join mainly because I didn't want to be alone. I also picked up some Xanax just in case anyone had a bad trip or wanted to go to sleep. Well right when I was about to get off of work I decided to do some of the Xanax because I had a very stressful day. I work in the food industry and this past week has been incredibly stressful because my boss has been nitpicking everything I'm doing wrong even if I am getting my job done faster and better than my coworkers. I've talked to multiple other people who have worked where I do for many more years than my boss has and they all say that she is not suited for a position of power.
That's the last thing I remember. I was planning on leaving work and going straight over to her apartment to join the party but I apparently went back over to my house, changed clothes and grabbed a blanket, which I don't remember. Apparently once I got over to her house I was out of it and slurring my words, went into her room and passed out. The next morning I woke up confused as hell of what happened because I had clothes on that I didnt remember putting on as was wrapped in the blanket I brought.
She was so upset because she thought she was going to have to call 911 due to her trying to wake me up by even slapping me in the face, but I was out cold. I put her through something so traumatic that she doesn't want to see me self destruct anymore because it only adds into her stress. I asked her if we were done and she said no but she needs time and so do I.
I love this girl to the moon and back. I truly feel I may have fucked up our relationship beyond repair but I really hope I'm wrong.
TL:DR
Took some Xanax after a stressful day at work, ended up blacking out and driving home to my girlfriend's house slurring my words and immediately passing out making her worried about me and almost calling the ambulance. Woke up to her being very sad about my self-destructive behavior and said we need some time
DampSeaTurtle: Sounds like it's time to get help. 8 years sober here so feel free to dm if you ever want to talk.
immei: Thanks you I appreciate it. I reached out for help from my mom just a few weeks ago and have started trying to rehabilitate. I went to the doctor for the first time in years a week or two ago and have another on the 16th. Really hope I can get my brain chemistry leveled out to where it feels like I don't have to do any of this shit anymore
DampSeaTurtle: Everyones different and lands in drug addiction for different reasons. It's really good that you're talking to a doctor. If the perscriptions/recommendations still don't help, don't be afraid to try a 12 step group.
It didn't just get me sober, it gave me a life.
immei: I will definitely consider it if the treatment doesn't help. I don't think I'm alone in saying that a 12 step program is scary to admit it is necessary
DampSeaTurtle: No doubt, it takes courage. Losing relationships or killing someone behind the wheel is even scarier though.
If you do decide it's something you want to explore, there are a lot of young people groups out there. Ive met my best friends there, my wife, I've watched friends have babies, build lives and so on.
You can message me any time of the day or night if you ever need to talk.
immei: Could you possibly dm me with some names of groups for young people with addiction problems? I know of a few support groups in my town but I have yet to delve into the information about them yet. I definitely will now though. Once again I truly appreciate your words and kindness.
Satansrainbowkitty: Hey op. Did you get the info on groups?
There's actually a good subreddit I can't remember off hand at the moment, but/
Also r/stopdrinking is super supportive , something about the community helped me greatly even tho my issue isn't limited to alcohol.
immei: I did, thank you for checking up! I appreciate it. I watched an NA meeting on zoom yesterday and started reading the book. Going to the doctor today and hopefully an actual meeting
| 9 | 9 | |
1674516552 | 1674597061 | t3_10jqzto | t5_2to41 | 20 | I3lacKLoTuSIKien: TIFU Took a dump, clogged my toilet for two days and my dorm mate took a dump in said clogged toilet.
This will be remembered in our flat till the end I think,
Context:
Our dorm consists of a floor with eight rooms and four bathrooms, it is intended that two people use one bathroom. Currently, I got no neighboring dorm mate, thus I have the privilege to use the bathroom for me alone.
So I took a huge dump in our dorm and absolutely nothing I did solve the problem. I tried pouring dozens of hot water into the bowl, mixing dish soap with water, mixing baking powder with vinegar,standingd there for half an hour with a plunger and even tried this "lifehack" where you use plastic wrap to create tension and push to unclogg it.
&#x200B;
Result
The toilet looked normal and clean, still clogged, my guess is the "cause" of it just got pushed behind what you could see.
I left it at it and contacted our facility manager, the bad news was it was on weekends, so I had to leave the "problem" there for a few days. As I´m the only person using this bathroom I had no problem with it, to do my business I used the toilet of the other dorm members' bathroom.
That is where my FU came in, I did not put a sign or anything in front of my toilet to signal I clogged my toilet a few days ago with a huge dump. I did not anticipate the possibility other bathrooms could be occupied and then just use a free toilet available when I was not at home.
Said dormmate took a massive shat, later that day knocking on my door to confess that he clogged said toilet with the biggest dump he ever had and felt sorry. At that moment I told him that the toilet was already clogged a few days ago and now there are two loads in there making the problem double while laughing out loud.
In the end, he came up with the idea to stick a PET bottle at the end of a broomstick and managed to push everything further, resulting in unclogging the toilet.
TLDR:
Took a dump, and clogged my toilet, few days later dormmate took shat of his life in said clogged toilet and was the solution to my problem altogether.
RRoyale57: So you clogged the toilet and decided to leave it clogged for 2 whole days? Yeah you’re a special kind of idiot
I3lacKLoTuSIKien: well not leave it clogged, as mentioned "
"I tried pouring dozens of hot water into the bowl, mixing dish soap with water, mixing baking powder with vinegar standing there for half an hour with a plunger and even tried this "lifehack" where you use plastic wrap to create tension and pushto unclogg it. "
And the facility manager/janitor - doesn't work during weekends, so while trying to solve it, two days passed
RRoyale57: You had the plunger! Did you just throw it in the toilet expecting it to pump itself?
00darkfox00: Why are you being a dick? Dude said they were plunging for 30 minutes. I bet you're the kinda dude that carries a drain snake everywhere.
RRoyale57: Yeah in my pants
00darkfox00: You push shit down a toilet with your cock?
RRoyale57: Yeah I pump it good no clogs unlike OP
| 8 | 2.5 | |
1674518433 | 1674523458 | t3_10jrq3g | t5_2to41 | 12 | azbycxdwevguhtisjrkq: TIFU by letting dog food sit out where my dog could get it
I have a chihuahua/corgi mix sweet as can be. Never barks and loves everyone (except my brother, he tackled he to prevent her from running into traffic and she never forgave him). My parents babysat my dogs for me over the weekend so i measured out a few days worth of food into sandwich bags. Made extra in case of emergency. When they brought the digs back i left the bag on the floor because i was so happy to see my babies that i forgot about it.
This morning my chihuahua ate over 2 days worth of food after she ate her breakfast. I didn't think much of it. Scolded her and left for work. I came home and i couldn't get her in her harness to take outside. I had to loosen it as far as it would go and it wasn't loose enough. She had several litters of puppies before we adopted her and normally has really saggy stomach skin. Not today. Its fully taut and it looks like she swallowed a bowling ball. I took her outside and she vomited everywhere, then pooped like 5 times her normal amount. Then it melted the snow and sunk before i could puck it all up and i couldn't find it. (Im at an apartment so i have to pick it up but she was pooping so fast i couldn't get it before it left my sight)
Then we came inside and she is sitting on the couch shaking and groaning. Our other dog is 14 and has dementia. She is also going blind and almost fully deaf. She tends to step on the chihuahua a lot and lay on top of her which my dog seems to enjoy because she loves snuggling but today the 14 year old walked near her and she snarled. The 14 year old has dementia so she didn't catch on that she should keep her distance so she tried to lay on the chihuahua and then they went for each other i had to break it up.
TLDR i left food out and my sweet chihuahua turned into a bitchy bowling ball
twohedwlf: That's fairly common signs of being in pain, maybe you should be taking her to the vet?
azbycxdwevguhtisjrkq: I called the vet. Luckily i had the food measured out so i k ow exactly how much she ate and the vet said she is fine just dumb and cranky.
Bubbagumpredditor: I'm sure her stomach and butt are sore. Just keep an eye on her.
| 4 | 3 | |
1672670190 | 1672675883 | t3_101e2q9 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Exact_Competition653: TIFU by getting blackout drunk and ruining NYE
Technically this was yesterday, but I spent the entire day recovering from the previous nights events. So for NYE a guy I’m talking to invited me to plans with his friends, which involved each couple (we are not really a couple but still) renting out a hotel room for themselves and us just drinking and hanging out. Everyone was super excited for this. So we all check in, settle into our rooms, and meet up in his friends room to have a few shots before dinner. Here is a good time to mention I am an extreme lightweight and haven’t drank in awhile. Well the guy I went with, who we will just call Ryan, ended up giving me a bit too much beforehand and by the time 5:30-6 rolls around I am pretty much done for. I could not walk, I can’t remember anything from that time, and I was pretty incoherent. The rest of this story I have pieced together from my own blurry memories or from others. I was so drunk that both Ryan and I had to sit out from our dinner plans so he got us fast food and took me back to the room. I was not able to eat and from what I hear unresponsive. At some point during this I apparently sat up, looked at him with big, scared eyes, covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom. Well I ended up throwing up everywhere, on myself and on him. I feel terrible about this, keep in mind I’d like to say 90% of the time I am very put together and considerate. I think this whole situation combined with the fact he didn’t get to spend much time with his friends has him kinda pissed at me. Yesterday morning when we woke up he just seemed off and kinda cold. We haven’t really talked a lot since, but I did offer to pay for his food the next time we go out. I’m hoping I didn’t really fuck up and he doesn’t hate me for anything that happened New Year’s Eve.
tl;dr: I drank way too much, threw up on a guy I like, and kinda ruined his new years.
Bubbagumpredditor: Fucking up like this once is understandable and will probably give him a good laugh and a funny story to hold over your head every new years. Learn your tolerance and limits.
Exact_Competition653: Yeah you’re right haha.This is only the second time I’ve drank around him & the first time I’ve been blackout. I’m just gonna stick to a few shots from now on.
| 3 | 2.666667 | |
1672673756 | 1672713227 | t3_101fgt7 | t5_2to41 | 22 | Resident-Pear-3451: TIFU By kissing the girl that one of my best friends like betraying him.
I (M18) make out with the girl (18F) that my friend liked in front of him (18M).(i will call the girl K and my friend J) This happened in the new year\`s eve I was with my group of friends and some girls that they knew, I didt\`t knew almost none of them.
So we had dinner and we were catching the train to go to the beach to watch the fireworks,and K was trying to get closer to me and kinda flirting with me, I was trying to avoid and saying to J to Be with me, but K always managed to sit alongside me. I noticed J always staring at me with pissed off eyes, I kept trying to avoid any romantic/flirty vibe. We got to the station and A friend that wasn\`t there yet had trouble and me and other 2 went to get her. We missed the firework but yeaah we got there and we all hang out for a while, a little bit later K asked me to go sit with her in the sand I went and We talked for a while. I am having a pretty rough year, I lost my dad, got heartbroken, threw 1000€ away by impulse just Its just been tough for me. Continuing with the story I normaly have like an unhappy face, and she asked Why, I tried to avoid and asked her to talked about her instead and We ended up talking for a good hour and ended up talking about all the shit happened to me, and She just hugged and kissed me on the cheek and tried to comfort me.
After like 5 minutes She said "I want to kiss you" I said "We can\`t J is over there and it will cause me trouble" she tried to insist and i message J to come to me and I told him what happened aand told that I was not going to do nothing, he left again and I was again alone with her and it happened we continue to talk and I fell and we kissed, he saw, he angrily came to us and blew off on me, and He\`s right I betrayed Him, and i managed to fuck up even worse and took her far from there and we continued.
When I was dropping her with another friend to go home he saw us, and with all the right He went off on me telling how shit of a friend I am and slaped me and squeezed my neck, I didn\`t move and eventually a cop came and separated I turned around and immediately broke down knowing what I had done. I am still talking to her, asked her if she wanted to keep talking if was interested in knowing each other more, I guess I\`m interested in her, and my head is a total mess because i shouldn\`t be. thank you for reading and sorry for any gramatical error english is not my first language.
TL;DR: I make out in front of one of my best friends with the girl he likes.
jello-kittu: Why isn't he trying? Sounds like you kept trying to give him an way to talk to her and he kept disappearing.
Also, she is a person and if she isn't interested in him, that's just that. He can try to put some effort in but every person on the planet is going to have times when someone they like will not like them back. Accept and move on.
That said- if you like both of them, you hang out with her at a different time, not at the party he is at. Tell her your friend likes her and you're trying to balance the situation. And only pursue her if you really like her, because friendship is important- if she's just available and that's the only reason, then you're just throwing away your friendship. If you're really into her, take some time to talk to your friend and see if he can accept it.
seasamgo: >He went off on me telling how shit of a friend I am and slaped me and squeezed my neck
Idk man, J sounds like an angry, entitled asshat with self-control issues. 18 is young and dumb but no one needs to stay friends with someone who will violently attack them (and over something so fucking dumb).
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1672674867 | 1672697849 | t3_101fw78 | t5_2to41 | 2,279 | user512897: TIFU by telling my husband I do not love him unconditionally
TIFU by telling my husband I do not love him unconditionally
I will not go into all the extensive details about our relationship. But we have been fighting ALOT for several months, like daily. Yesterday he demanded "I give him my unconditional love". I was flabbergasted. My mouth literally open. I just couldn't believe this man who uses the threat of divorce on regular basis. Calls me horrible names and other mean things on at least weekly. Has physically hurt me. Would even say such a thing. I told him that I don't even think I am capable of unconditionally loving another person. My love absolutely has conditions, and honestly you have pushed me to the edge. I told him at this point in our marriage, I am physically stuck here, I am not even sure if I love you anymore. It hurt alot to say that but it is the truth.
I feel really empty inside. I am at work and don't feel like going home. I feel like sleeping in my car all evening.
TL;DR I don't know if I love my husband
firey21: You didn’t fuck up. The dude sounds like a piece of shit. Leave his ass.
adamsgh: Wow hold your horses!!! Leaving a marriage shouldn't be that easy! Consider it and talk with him a lot and then go for it!
Vettech109: Did you miss the part where he’s been physically abusive??
adamsgh: No but I've learned to always listen to both sides, so far this is one account!
Doomquill: I mean, if you're trying to form an unbiased opinion that makes sense. But in this case The only person whose opinion of the value of the marriage matters is also the person who is being horribly abused. So really her feelings are the only thing that matters as far as what she should do about the relationship.
adamsgh: I agree with you 100, that is why I disagree with the advice, if it was op who said that I would not have said anything! I mean you should be a bit more responsible with such a life changing advice!
Thanks for being reasonable :)
stackjr: Your comment makes no sense. You can't agree that the person should leave but then disagree with the person leaving.
Also, you very much need to check where you stand on abuse. It's obscene that you think she needs to talk it through with her husband, the man that is abusing her. There is literally only ONE answer to this: she needs to leave him. Period.
adamsgh: It's getting to be like I'm arguing!
My idea is that a divorce is the decision of the person in question! And people, unless they are close and know details, should not interfere.
You may ask why? As I see it if a person moves quickly he/she might regret it (then either feel bad for the rest of their life or return and make the problem bigger) I know we can feel regret even though it's for the wrong reasons!
So regardless of the situation and the validity of the advice I think it's better to let them take the decision.
Hope that makes sense and it's not just an illusion and me being biased myself!
stackjr: In a situation with abuse, there should never be analyzing the situation or taking time to think, the abused person needs to get the hell out. Your idea may work for people that have hit a rocky patch but that is very clearly not the case with OP.
adamsgh: Maybe.
But I would always be careful with giving advice such getting a divorce!
stackjr: \*Unless that advice is being given to the survivor of abuse.
You need to add that to the end of your comment because, right now, it appears that you are suggesting that a person should stay in an abusive relationship.
adamsgh: As I said in another comment :
Can I ask you a question? Have you ever wondered why people return to abusive relationships (it is really common)? I did and my explanation, is that people did not take thier time thinking it through (that doesn't mean to stay in the same household, but take your time and think about everything, let everything sink in...) or they have been pushed to the decision by others (with good intentions, and often it's the right thing if they commit to it!) So sometimes it's better to let them figure it out themselves
So you should be more careful in that case specifically
Why they should discuss it with the abuser? because with time our selective memory will show us the good side so you should shut all doors closed, try all roads so you'll never question the decision in the future!
Again it's just my opinion I might be wrong but I thought about it a lot! because it's personal to me
OfficerGenious: Maybe if serious therapy is involved, but it sounds like they're beyond that point.
| 14 | 162.785714 | |
1673238403 | 1673363123 | t3_1074jqw | t5_2to41 | 18,428 | nutmilkandcookies: TIFU by making a New Years resolution that ultimately led my husband to ejaculate through my nose.
This happened 15 mins ago.
My husband and I usually spend 20-30 minutes making love (we’re tired parents), so we made a fun New Years resolution to have longer sex sessions.
We haven’t had sex in two and a half weeks due to sick kids and other big life changes, so we only just got around to this resolution this evening.
We’d been going at it for twenty five minutes when I finished. In order to extend his climaxing and honor the resolution, I began edging him on/off for another 20 or so mins until he couldn’t last any longer. We decided to end with a BJ.
Here’s the fuck up: due to the edging and not having had sex in a few weeks his orgasm was so intense his ejaculation came out my nose.
TLDR: edged my husband to an orgasm so intense he ejaculated through my nose while I was going down on him.
EDIT: Apparently this is called an “angry dragon”.
EDIT: Did not think that this would ever get this many upvotes and comments. Definitely the most a post has ever blown up (my nose).
WildBoy-72: He made you finish first?
Laurenhynde82:
Forget crowns, get some sort of dunce hats for the guys who don’t.
LakiL_: Lmao people actually trying to force others how to behave. Perhaps an indication of their own dogshit performance in sex.
Laurenhynde82: Oh the irony
LakiL_: Which is...?
Laurenhynde82: Projecting about “dogshit performance in sex” because you disagree that women should orgasm before sex. If you knew anything about female orgasm, particularly g spot or cervical orgasms, you’d know why it’s important. But yeah, it’s women who expect orgasms who are dogshit in bed. Sure thing.
LakiL_: I didn't say any of that. You are in complete projection mode right now and I don't wanna be part of it. Lmao. I was referring to giving people hats based on their sex performance. What are you, a pimp?
The irony. Oh the irony.
By giving deuce hats to the ones who don't succeed and not giving crowns to those who do, you are implying that it's mandatory to pleasure women no matter what. That's called forcing people to do what you want. Hypocrite.
Of course making the partner feel good during sex is part of what makes it a good experience for everyone. GETTING HATS like dogs on an exhibition is not exactly how to go on about this. If anything it shows incredible immaturity.
Laurenhynde82: Are you honestly trying to say your comment was referring to my joke about hats, and that you believed I was genuinely advocating for men who are shit in bed to be forced to wear dunce hats? That’s almost more embarrassing than the truth. Interesting choice.
ETA it’s really something when someone adds three entire paragraphs to their comment after you’ve responded, especially when the first paragraph says they “don’t wanna be part of it”. Someone is real defensive.
LakiL_: "Just kidding, I didn't mean it"
"Just a joke, a metaphor that definetly doesn't represent my expectations on people"
Laurenhynde82: Oh okay, you really are trying to say that you believed I meant the hats literally.
I mean, that’s clearly bollocks from your edited post:
>you are implying it’s mandatory to pleasure women no matter what
Umm yes. Yes I am. Funny that. Sex should be pleasurable for both people involved. This shouldn’t be controversial.
LakiL_: Well, you can assume whatever "bollocks" you want (imperialist, of course.)
Rellesch: >you can assume whatever "bollocks" you want
You're currently spewing assumptions and condemnations based on someone's verbiage, don't be a hypocrite. Even if your assumptions about someone's nationality based on a word they used is correct, you're still making offensive generalizations by calling them an imperialist.
Why would you feel the need to escalate a disagreement with prejudiced attacks?
LakiL_: Oh boo hoo prejudice against rich and white.
Rellesch: You're still making assumptions and spewing prejudice. Being English or Irish doesn't mean a person is rich and/or white.
| 15 | 1,228.533333 | |
1672677619 | 1672763780 | t3_101gztb | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting asked for a late night walk and having my fly unzipped half the time.
[deleted]
E-Reezy420: The fact that she agreed to meet with you again ensures she either didn't notice or didn't mind. You're good 😊 if she was bothered by it she wouldn't agree to hang out again
InterdepartmentalCam: That's fair, yeah. Appreciate it.
E-Reezy420: No problem 😊
| 4 | 6 | |
1672678219 | 1672716571 | t3_101h8im | t5_2to41 | 3,826 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to share the sunrise with my girlfriend. (Possibly nsfw)
[deleted]
ayylmao2016: Naaah her complaints are all over the place. As someone who lives this exact situation often I only have the advice that works for me. Disengage from the argument emotionally and ignore any attempt to engage you unless it's an apology. I fully admit this isn't good advice for everyone and could very well result in a breakup instead of an apology. Good luck, I feel for you.
constantstateofmind: I appreciate it, and I appreciate the advice. I've tried this approach, and unfortunately it never leads to an apology, just more arguing. If I don't apologize and take blame, nothing gets resolved. I'm at a point where I want to be done, but our kids... I don't know what's more damaging, us splitting up or a possible rough patch we can work through.
Arguments like this are a daily thing, for like 3 years now.
ayylmao2016: That's worse for the kids than anything. They are learning from both of you what their future relationship should look like. Counseling?
constantstateofmind: I've thought about it, but she's already dropped two other counselors because "they're wrong"
ayylmao2016: Because she didn't like what she was hearing. Counseling is expensive. Waste of money if both partners aren't receptive. I guess it all boils down to how much of this is too much to bear.
constantstateofmind: That's pretty much where I'm at. I'm just trying to give my kids their best life at this point, I'm not worried about much else. I just want to make it work if I can. I appreciate talking though, it helps having someone who knows what it feels like.
WazzUp9913: As a person who had parents like that, please end it with her for the sake of those kids.
StoryLineOne: The classic "you had one argument and all I've heard is your side. Clearly it's time to break up the entire family" reddit response.
She sounds like she has a few toxic traits but you and I have no idea what's going on in their relationship. There's been plenty of moments in my life where things got really hard with someone else.
OP, I would highly suggest talking to her about the importance of seeing a therapist together. I know you said in a dif post that she thinks they're wrong, but maybe if you come from a place of saying that you're both going to try and be better not just for the kids, but for each other bc you obviously still care about each other, she may hear you. Please ignore anyone who tells you to breakup, especially those who have zero context of your life and relationship.
WazzUp9913: Actually if you could read you would've saw that i said my parents were the same, and it's unhealthy for a kid to be forced around it. I can see what kind of parent you are lmfao, Id be worried for any kids from you
StoryLineOne: You literally don't know me. At all. Big l o l to make that big of a jump...
WazzUp9913: Nah you just decided that my personal experience doesn't count, yet you also don't know me at all. Curious how that works
StoryLineOne: Where did I ever say your parents weren't shit to you? Mine were too. I never said yours weren't. My entire comment was to ignore people who said breakup because of an argument. Lol
WazzUp9913: That 800000 paragraph bs you wrote specifically saying that you were against what I said doesn't count I guess?
StoryLineOne: Okay??? And again, where in that do I say specifically something about you and your experience with your parents? Please quote it for me.
Again... reddit has a classic way of telling people who go through personal problems to just end the relationship without any context of their life. That is literally what I said in that comment. I never once brought up you or your life experiences lol
WazzUp9913: I can only explain this so plainly, I'm sure my infant niece would get it like this: If you are subjecting a child to your arguing all the time, you are abusing that child. I don't fucking care if you have severe depression and anxiety and whatever the fuck else. If you are doing that, break the fuck up. End of story. Why is that so hard for you to understand? Are you unable to read?
StoryLineOne: Dude... are you actually just not reading anything I say? Like, how many times do I have to repeat that you and I have no context of their entire relationship. You don't even know the guy IRL. You don't know if she had something terrible happen recently in her life. Maybe she has parent problems too that she needs to work out.
Therefore, telling someone to breakup without knowing the full context is extremely, extremely dumb. She obviously has the ability to go to therapy as well, maybe she just needs to look at it from a different perspective. But yeah, let's just suggest extreme actions based off of 1 short tifu story LOL
WazzUp9913: There's no reason to read garbage spewed by an abuser/abuse advocate so why should I?
StoryLineOne: You have a very black and white view of the world. I'm sorry you see it that way. Honestly, I do. I'm not going to try and explain the importance of knowing as much as you can before making a judgement call to you again. See ya.
| 19 | 201.368421 | |
1674526531 | 1674529608 | t3_10jujlv | t5_2to41 | 6 | supersuspiciouslol: TIFU by lieing on an assessment for eating disorders
I have struggled with body dysmorphia for ages and slowly developed horrible mental health because of it. My mom tried to get me assessed for an eating disorder a few weeks ago because i wasnt eating properly. During the process, I went through a questionnaire online followed by a face-to-face appointment. I nearly cried filling out the questionnaire.
When it came to the appointment, i wasnt in a good mood at all. It took ages for me to actually talk, and not to mention my sister was there. We ended up getting sidetracked and when we got back to the conversation at hand i blamed it on my inflammed bowel and stomach pains while eating, in which they said that I likely didnt have an eating disorder - but i think i could.
Today I’ve eaten a sandwich, 9 chicken nuggets, a piece of garlic naan, a piece of cake and a singular meatball.
And when it came to the meatball I was thinking “should i heat it up?” “no itll lead the temptation to more and its not good” “just one.”
While im eating, i also tend to notice that i am always hesitant at first but then before i know it ive eaten it all within a minute and I find that i hate it. Eating around people also makes me uncomfortable, especially in restaurants, because i spend less time eating and more inspecting every single detail of the menu. Im also generally a picky eater and ontop of that lactose intolerant, and i tend to have burgers at restaurants because of it. So im kinda stuck because on one hand i dont want food but on the other i need it to survive, but i end up too busy thinking about what i can get with no dairy bc even though i can just ask for it removed i dont wanna ask, since im horrible socially.
What can I do? my mom isnt gonna get me another appointment and i cant ask my GP without my mom being told about the appointment.
TL;DR: Lied at an eating disorder assessment and was told i likely didn’t have one, which i probably do actually have.
frssian: You don’t need a formal diagnosis to speak to a therapist
supersuspiciouslol: therapists will contact family if they believe your putting yourself or others in danger in the UK, not sure abt other countries. it can heavily limit what people say because they say its all confidential but in reality the moment you say you thought of hurting yourself family is involved, especially when under 18.
DaftDayDown: That's for suicide/homicide. I don't believe it applies to eating disorders.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1674518147 | 1674528130 | t3_10jrm3s | t5_2to41 | 18 | Baked_potato_x: TIFU by telling a man with cancer that I liked his haircut
This happened a few months ago and it turned out okay (I think) but I still think about it all the time. It's basically the title.
In November, my boyfriend (P) and I went to his Grandma's house for Thanksgiving. We were the first ones there (his whole family was eventually coming), so we were just sitting and chatting with his grandma while we waited.
After a bit of chatting, she went upstairs to get ready for everyone's arrival, and during this time, her boyfriend (L) showed up. They've been dating for a few months at that point, so we knew him well enough, but he was still fairly new to the family.
This is where I FU: When L walked in, I noticed his hair was much shorter, almost bald (but not quite) than it was before. I told him that I liked his haircut, and he gave a half smile, muttered "thanks" and walked into the other room.
After he left, P turned to me and whispered that L was going through chemo. My face dropped, and I felt horrible. I told him I liked his haircut when it wasn't even something he chose voluntarily. P told me I was probably okay, and that since I didn't know and it was a genuine compliment, that I probably made him feel a little better, but I still feel horrible.
Neither L nor P's grandma mentioned what I said at any point afterward, so I just let it all blow over. I'm sure L brought it up with her at some point, but nothings been mentioned to me. I hope it *did* make him feel a little better, but I feel like I just rubbed it in his face.
TLDR: I told my bf's grandma's boyfriend that I liked his haircut, but he didn't get a haircut voluntarily, he was going through chemo.
PaintTheKill: I’m sure he took it as a genuine compliment because you meant it as one. Don’t feel bad. Hope he’s doing well, prayers go out to the man :)🙏
Baked_potato_x: Thank you - He doesn't talk about it much but last I heard he's doing great and is kicking its ass 🥳
| 3 | 6 | |
1674527757 | 1674558146 | t3_10juycl | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU for accidentally having my kid be seen naked in public
[deleted]
twohedwlf: All her clothes and underwear just completely ripped off? I don't think this happens outside of Hollywood.
OkVolume1: OP lives in Hollywood. So, the story checks out.
| 3 | 7 | |
1674527751 | 1674553039 | t3_10juya3 | t5_2to41 | 13 | dragonsexisited: TIFU by not realizing the bottle said otic and not optic...
So I have really bad allergies. I take 2 shots a week and 4 allergy meds twice a day. No, I dont live in a bubble. Anyways, one of those meds is eye drops. I went to grab my eye drops and glanced at the label. I saw optic and proceeded to put the drops in the first eye. It BURNED so bad! It felt like Satan had just licked my eye ball after eating the world's hottest ghost pepper. I had unlocked my own personal realm of Hell and just knew I was paying for all my sins at that point. I'm left begging for mercy. As I'm begining to wonder if I must offer up a sacrifice for sweet relief to make an appearance, My husband asked me if I fucked up and used the ear drops (for ear infections. I had them quite often before realizing they were being caused by allergies) and I told him the bottle said optic. I decided to look again and the damn thing said otic not optic. Fuck, it's ear drops. I knew then, I was officially a dumbass. Once I had climbed my way back out of hell, I rinsed my eye and then put the correct drops in. Thankfully I am not the only dumbass in the world and a lot of people have had the same up close and personal visit from Hades himself. It only causes burning and redness temporarily despite feeling like it last an enternity. I took the ear drops and put them in the back of the medicine cabinet so that it doesn't happen again. Another lesson learned the hard way.
TL:DR : I fucked up by putting ear drops in my eye instead of eye drops which sent me to my own personal hell. Everything is back to normal now. I will make sure to pay closer attention to the damn label from now on.
PoorlyAttired: ooh, I did it with fungal nail fluid whose bottle was just like my new eye drops. I'm so used to eye drops that I dropped into both eyes before I realised. No lasting damage though.
dragonsexisited: I'm glad you had no lasting eye damage!
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1674529176 | 1674771647 | t3_10jvf09 | t5_2to41 | 5 | ClassroomOrnery6038: TIFU (Almost) by stabbing a live power line with a shovel.
Context is needed here: my coworker was setting sheet pile along the walls of a pit we were working in. If you don't know what sheet pile is, it's very large (~15ft long and ~3ft wide in our case) rectangular sheets of thick steel that are placed along the walls of a pit and driven into the ground to prevent the walls from caving in. We were driving the sheet pile into the ground by pressing on it with an excavator bucket, then bashing the top with the bucket to drive it far enough in that it will support itself as well as falling dirt should the wall cave. One of the sheet piles wasn't driving as he pounded on it, and was actually rising back up as it was pushed down. So they sent me down there with a shovel to dig the mud out from underneath the sheet pile and get a look at what was stopping it and, lo and behold, a 14ft deep live power line wider than my arm getting pile drived by a ~1,000lb steel sheet with an excavator hammering on it. The insulation wasn't split from what I could see, although my sight of it was limited as there was standing water covering most of the floor of the pit (which I was standing in), and the line was pinched into an oval underneath the sheet pile. If the sheet pile had successfully sheared the power line, I would've found out immediately upon stepping into the puddle it was sitting in and stabbing it with a metal shovel, as it probably would have stopped my heart. I couldn’t find a definite measure of how many volts run through those lines, but from what I read I assume it was 7,200V (home outlets are 120V, for reference). Call before you dig, and don't let your coworkers think for you.
TL;DR I unknowingly dug up a damaged, semi-submerged, very live power line the size of a fire hose today at work.
I_Frothingslosh: Did your company not call and get the lines marked? Because that's a great way to get fined triple the costs of fixing the damage, and that wouldn't have been a cheap fix. (Cheaper than a wrongful death lawsuit, though!)
ClassroomOrnery6038: I assume at one point the line was marked, as we’ve been working around that area for this project for some time now. However, they were not marked when we were digging, and they should have been.
I_Frothingslosh: I used to work for a gas company, and trust me, it's surprisingly common for construction outfits trying to save money to skip the FREE line marking and just use their own gear and shovels to try to identify lines as they dig, because they don't want to wait. I took a LOT of calls where they'd hit a line; sometimes it was a total accident, sometimes it wasn't where it was marked, but way too many times, they never called. It was also really common for an outfit to just pack up and vanish after they hit a line, without ever calling someone, because no way did they want to pay $30,000 for a $10,000 gas main replacement.
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1674530386 | 1674595472 | t3_10jvt9d | t5_2to41 | 329 | freedgorgans: TIFU by taking a vitamin c pill in the dark
Let me set the scene it's 10pm we've just gotten home after going out and my boyfriend started to not feel great. He decided hey, we should take vitamin C pills to ward off the illness. He gets a pill... no problem vitamin c goodness.
He hands me the bottle I grab a pill perfectly normal. We both put the pill in our mouths. It tastes weird maybe it's the flavourless kind. It's a little hard and not melting in my mouth. Guess I have to bite it?
*Crunch* a sand like texture fills my mouth. I think naybe that's just how this pill breaks down. It's a little weird but you know everyone has medicine preferences. I chew a few times before he notices the crunch sound is still haplening.
Immediately he has concerns. So, I spit out a pastic casing. That's confusing, what's plastic in a pill bottle? Then we realise that I've bitten the silica gel packet from the pill bottle. Proceed to the next 20 minutes of freaking out and calling the poisons hotline.
Now I'm being monitered to make sure it didn't have a poisonous coating and I don't choke. Needless to say I'm not allowed to take pills in the dark anymore.
TLDR: I bit into a silica gel packet causing panic. Now I'm banned from getting pills in the dark.
steelgeek2: Silica gel packets are inert and harmless just in case some idiot eats one in the dark or something. ;)
freedgorgans: They are indeed except for the ones coated in cobalt chloride which is poisonous we just didn't know which. I can tell you from experience though they do make you thirsty.
bird_equals_word: The cobalt chloride is only the ones that are dark blue and turn pink when exhausted. They don't put them in food containers.
freedgorgans: Medicine is a different category of good and it was a type of container we'd never seen before. I would rather be safe with it, if in doubt always call your local poison line.
| 5 | 65.8 | |
1672682424 | 1672700484 | t3_101izqh | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU when i gave an admiring coworker a chance
[deleted]
JimmyTehF: Its not often I come across a tifu post where the OP both clearly fucked up and at the same time seems completely unaware they fucked up. Kudos.
gunsnnoses: Please elaborate
TouchMehBewts: One person already did and you disagreed.
gunsnnoses: Because they were wrong. I did not do any obsessing or stalking.
ibringthehotpockets: This whole post is obsessive. It reads like a high school drama. It sounds like you went through a whole relationship with him but never even hung out once.
But very entertaining lol.
| 6 | 5.5 | |
1674531664 | 1674669034 | t3_10jw838 | t5_2to41 | 23 | Pale_Buyer3168: TIFU by bringing over my best friend after my father forbade it
TW: racism
Let me preface this by saying that I grew up in a wealthy town in GA where I never actually came into contact with any people of color. I went to private school my whole life and I only met one black kid at school and there were a few janitors who I thought were super cool that I talked to because I thought it was super nice of them to clean up after we got the cafeteria so messy at lunch. Like, how nice? The only relationship I ever had with anyone of color was with maids and nannies. This was also at a time where Denzel Washington and Oprah were basically the only representation in media.
So, onto my story. I'm a freshman in high school and I ask my parents if I can have my two best friends, Kristen and Shanique, come over to spend the night. My father tells me that Kristen can come, but Shanique cannot. I was confused, I didn't know why, so I asked him. He told me, "because she doesn't need to see what she will never have." I was baffled. As far as I was concerned, everyone that went to my school was paying to go, but apparently Shanique's older brother was an athlete and they were on scholarship, actually, every black student was on scholarship. I had no idea because I just assume everyone is equal in everyway including money, because why not? My dad told me that we aren't and never will be. I never mentioned her race either, but her name kind of gave it away.
I was disgusted by my father. From that moment on, I had no respect for him. What kind of person could say such a thing about another human being knowing nothing about them? Hell, her brother was an athlete at a school known to produce professional athletes, she could easily end up well off. Also, this education could get her far in life. So, I thought, FU sir, I do what I want.
So when lacrosse season was over, the 3 of us had to find another PE and we chose to walk a mile around the neighborhood, which just so happened to go by my house. We told the teacher we were going to stop by my house for snacks. I was so smart, that I forgot my key, we grabbed the hide-a-key and went in through the front door and passed the den, which should have never happened. When we got into the kitchen, we saw my mom and she turned white as a ghost, which I was completely baffled by because she knew Shanique and liked her, so I was confused. After we had our snacks, we were pushed out the back door and sent on our way.
That night my parents had a fight. Well, I got yelled at by my father first for going against what he said and then they had a fight. What I learned was that we apparently have a shrine to black oppression in our house. I thought it was completely normal. I was always told that it was a part of history. There were golliwogs, dolls, figurines, and even a cast-iron sign that showed white/colored drinking fountains, which were my dad's pride and joy. I specifically remember how excited he was when he got that sign. One thing I remember from being a kid was this doll that was white, but if you flipped the skirt was black. It was from slavery times for the slaves who wanted a doll to look like them, but if they were caught with it, they would be whipped, so it had to be able to turn into a white doll quickly. I thought it was a really cool piece of history. I had no idea that this was all blatant racism.
That weekend, the shrine was finally taken down because my mother knew that I would bring her over again because I am stubborn as hell and obviously oblivious to the fact of what was going on in my own home. Shanique never said anything to me about the shrine, but I can't imagine that she didn't see it because it took up a huge portion of the room and the giant black golliwogs stand out. She also mentioned other dolls that were in other rooms of the house, so she must've noticed and was just in shock or embarrassed/enraged. Maybe the fact that they were gone the next time she came made her feel more at ease, I'm not sure, but this was definitely the biggest fuck up I've ever done.
TLDR: TIFU by exposing my best friend to a racist shrine of black oppression that my father kept displayed in the house.
Guilty-Ad4966: Please explain how this was a TIFU. If anything you forced your dad to stop taking pride in his ignorance.
Or at least take down the shrine.
Pale_Buyer3168: because I subjected my friend to this. I feel like shit knowing that I would be someone that would make her feel that way.
Guilty-Ad4966: Ahh. Ok that part is a tifu, apologize and move on.
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1674532348 | 1675206016 | t3_10jwfma | t5_2to41 | 618 | marriedtoapsychopath: TIFU My fiance[38m] posting on reddit and getting destroyed made me [28f] realize I’ve been with a psychopath
[removed]
Flat_Insurance_6170: ?? I was expecting him to be an actual psychopath. You are both troubled but none are psychopaths.
HopOnTheHype: So the bf hires someone to make them jealous on purpose out of manipulative spite, and you’re calling her a psychopath too because she did consensual non monogamy?
Flat_Insurance_6170: I guess your reading skills aren't so great huh?
HopOnTheHype: You didn’t provide an argument, you’re just an incel like the original op guy
ExoticButters79: Lol you learned a word now think it applies to anyone who doesn't agree with you.
HopOnTheHype: Concept of story: They agreed to polyamory, she was discreet with it to keep him from getting insecure, he got insecure and small dick about it anyway, hired an escort to abuser style manipulate her like a sociopath, she felt uncomfy about how he was parading the girl in front of her, fell for the abuser manipulation tactics, had an emotional argument, and then agreed to monogamy.
That's what happened.
You're defending this
You're defending this because you relate more to the abuser than the victim, you're an insecure guy who thinks he got his revenge or something, you're incel asf.
ExoticButters79: To call her a victim is a gross overreach. Stop pretending everyone is a victim
HopOnTheHype: Guy broke the boundaries of their polyamory, guy hired an escort to manipulate her like an abuser
ExoticButters79: Sounds like you need to mature a little. It yoursepf
HopOnTheHype: I need to mature because I think it’s manipulative and abusive to hire an escort with the sheer purpose of my one’s partner jealous? That’s like textbook manipulation, you’re defending it cuz you are an abuser too tbh
ExoticButters79: Lmfao no kiddo. I'm not even defending what either of them did. In my original response to this I called them both out for what they are and have done. I am simply pointing out your overreaction. Which is exactly what you are doing. You are a career victim. Stop finding victims hood in everything.
HopOnTheHype: Honestly at this point you’re just defending narcissistic manipulation by an abuser and conflating it equally to her being uncomfy about him doing the polyamory openly in front of her, which is stupid. At this point he could beat her,
And you’d conflate it to her being upset about it, and say she’s being a professional victim.
You’re just sus lol
ExoticButters79: Just because you use big words doesn't make you smarter
HopOnTheHype: Holy shit, you’re just cry bullying me rn because you can’t argue against my point. Literally there is no way to justify his actions as anything but manipulation, which is abuse, you’re smelly for trying and failing to defend that
ExoticButters79: Last word
HopOnTheHype: Yikes
| 17 | 36.352941 | |
1674532709 | 1674586744 | t3_10jwjfw | t5_2to41 | 78 | zecariah: TIFU by sleeping w my best friend
I (21M) have been friends w a girl (21F), we’ll say Stella, since freshman year of uni. We grew pretty close. While I recognized she was objectively attractive, I was just never attracted to her like that. I really liked hanging w her, and in HS, I didn't have as many friends, so I was so fucking thrilled to have some.
I was a virgin when I met her and knew I needed female friends. Bc I met her within the 1st week of uni, I thought we should just be friends. After three years, I never regretted that decision. I even really liked her BF, who I hung out w just for fun. We would regularly go get food and talk shit ab Stella (lovingly).
FF to last weekend, senior year. (I know not today, but two days ago) I broke up w a long-time GF a month back. Ab 2 weeks after that, Stella got dumped too. We've been really close since bc we've been venting ab ex BS w each other.
Friday night, we went to the bars, ran into exes, got fucked up w Stella & roomies.
Then Sat a.m., I realize Stella left her phone, wallet, and keys. Luckily, she got home safe, so I deliver her shit. Then Stella is like, "down to day drink?" And I was feeling awful bc a heated text exchange that a.m. resulted in me finally blocking Ex. So I said, "plz...pt.2!?"
We get some beers and drink at my place. We were pretty drunk well before bar time. So she says we should take a power nap. As soon as we lay down, she's all over me. Mind u, we've platonically slept side by side a lot--especially drunk. We often tend to enable each other's drinking so we always have to crash at each others' places. There has never been any awkwardness from this. I could tell she was feeling flirty, but she's known to do that just for fun.
She hops on top of me rq. Like, I was tryna nap, and she is now on my dick. But I was drunk and like "maybe she j feelin silly." Then she's flirting heavy. She grabs my hands and puts them on her ass. So I say, "u have a lil crush on me, huh?" She says yes. And then for a while, I get her off my lap to talk. I don't feel the same, but I’ve thought about it and didn’t want to crush her. I say it’s a bad idea for us to date, but still things escalated. "We don't gotta date, just fuck" I think she said. I've had about 8+ drinks at this point, so I'm fuzzy.
She undid my pants and gave me a bj. But drunk dick + 1st sex since ex + this was my friend = no boner. But then we make out. Finally get hard. We have some dysfunctional sex for a few minutes–lost wood. Honestly, Idek why I fucked. I've never even fantasized about her.
But I would have guessed she had fantasized. She was all over me, eager, and vocal about her enjoyment.
But she woke up the next morning naked and confused. She had blacked out. She had no recollection of any foreplay or sex. We had stopped drinking shortly after we went to my room. I showered. And when she crashed, she didn't crash like a ton of bricks. She woke up and responded to me coherently whenever I asked her something. I think the reason she got so drunk so fast was bc she might have still been intoxicated from the prior night by the time she started drinking again.
Her energy was off in the morning, but I never even imagined that she was totally blacked. She didn't tell me she blacked either. I was sure she remembered her aggressive initiation of sex, that seemed to be something she wanted to do for a while from what she said. I thought she was embarrassed that she admitted some of her feelings for me. But now I think she was just terrified that she had no idea what happened.
She filled me in over text. I texted her all the big details. She said “we’ll laugh ab this someday.” She guaranteed me we were cool bc I apologized profusely. Now I'm blocked. And I hate myself.
To be fair, I have thought she blocked me once before, but she just went to the Mental Hospital. But still. Best case , my friend isn't responding bc inadvertently gave her so much stress she put herself in inpatient.
The worst part is she has a history of being taken advantage of while passed out, so she’s def scared I took advantage of her while asleep. This is the worst fucking part. I understand her reaction, but I’m angry. We were both wasted, lonely, horny, and emotionally vulnerable. But she jumped me and I caved. And now I feel like I SAed my best friend. And it doesn't matter what I tell her bc all she knows is she blacked out hanging out w me and ended up naked.
&#x200B;
tl;dr: One of (if not my) best friend(s) seduced me while we were drunk. But it turned out her sexual impulsivity may have been motivated by the fact that she was blackout. She woke up spooked that she didn't remember why she was naked w one of the few men she trusts. Now my texts don't deliver. And I've been sobbing all night.
Ek0sh: SAed? Gtfo
zecariah: The only rzn i feel like that despite understanding that it rlly wasnt an SA is bc she has been SAed by a friend since ive known her.
Ek0sh: Im actually angry about the acronyms abuse. Cant even read that
| 4 | 19.5 | |
1674537985 | 1674853523 | t3_10jy41a | t5_2to41 | 3 | Deadwithoutcoffe: tifu bu bringing a knife to school
tifu by bringing a knife to school
I brought a knife to school for one of my friends to cut an apple for a class. One of the teachers saw me, and I was sent home for the day. I will go back tomorrow and have a meeting with the director, the student councilor, and the student aid. I know that bringing a knife to school was a bad idea, but it was a 1 1/2 inch blade pocket knife, not a kitchen knife or something bigger it was small. There are plastic butter knives that the school has out, but those snap really easily. And I know that they have metal knives, but they don't put them out. I feel bad about it, but i forgive and forget really easily, so I bet I won't remember about it until someone reminds me. Thanks for reading my rant. I needed to get this down. Any advice would be helpful
TL ; DR I brought a knife to school to help a friend
RandoCalrissian11: Ya, this is what happens when you put people with no common sense in charge. It should be a non issue, but they have to appear like they are doing something.
Deadwithoutcoffe: Thank you! That's what I've been saying
| 3 | 1 | |
1674538679 | 1674569977 | t3_10jyavg | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting Cirrhosis at the age of 27
[deleted]
ahmadove: Wow, I hope it's treatable and can be kept under control. If you don't mind me asking, how much were you drinking before and how long? It's a bit unusual to onset at an age so young, makes me worried about myself.
Grand-Sam: well, my ex-girlfriend had alcoholic hepatisis at 23, "just" by getting black out drunk two- three times à week.
| 3 | 10.333333 | |
1674542811 | 1674587964 | t3_10jzfbv | t5_2to41 | 3,818 | [deleted]: Tifu by breaking up with my gf cause i think she might be cheating
[removed]
midnightschild: How's this a TIFU? You probably did the right thing.
ChainmailleAddict: I mean I don't want to accuse her here, but if she's spending much more time with her friends than her boyfriend and doing a bunch of things with them and not with him, such that he feels like an afterthought instead of a partner, that's grounds to break up by itself.
dragonmom1: Especially when the things she's doing with these other people are things OP enjoys too! I mean it'd be one thing if he didn't enjoy climbing but the fact that he does...
temp1876: I would guess there's a skill gap which is why he's not being invited, Ok for her to hang out on the bunny slopes a bit but you should not expect your SO to abandon their hobbies to satisfy your insecurities. I like to go for a jog in the park != I like to Ultramarathon
EDIT: OP has shared elsewhere additional details that are far more suspect, such as sharing a bed while on the trip, way more suspect.
HTHSFI: Sounds like you are also cheating on your SO.
temp1876: Sounds like you're an Incel who's never been in a trust based relationship.
HTHSFI: Everyone can see that you are full of it. That's why you are getting down voted. And what I said to you is getting up voted.
temp1876: Yeah, I'll pass on taking relationship advice from insecure folks who don't think they should allow their partners to take trips by themselves. I'm sure you think Andrew Tate is a role model
HTHSFI: Your arguing is NOT covering up that you are a cheating whore.
temp1876: You are just radiating small-dick incel energy, aren't you? You think you don't have a GF because you are too nice a guy, when in reality [you are just an asshole](https://miro.medium.com/max/640/1*dzYcxz9WTA2NKb85iNeSrw.webp)
| 11 | 347.090909 | |
1674542930 | 1674571271 | t3_10jzgcs | t5_2to41 | 19 | Phoenix1592: TIFU by showing my coworker and employee a video with a sex toy in it.
One of my employees and I were discussing our pets and they made mention that they were getting a pet that I had. I showed them a video of said pet being cute and didn't realize that in the bottom half of the video is a very obvious dildo. I showed this same video to my coworker, who I'm less worried about seeing it. They worked at a sex toy store and has shared numerous NSFW stories with me. I didn't realize it was there until I got home and I was deleting videos of underneath my car(I hit something on the way home). They are an older member of my staff and Im really really scared that she is going to say something to my boss. It was a total accident. I usually keep it tucked under my pillow. I didn't even realize it was there, standing tall and proud, when I took the video and was half tempted to post the cute animal being cute to facebook(so happy I didn't!). I was wondering why they weren't "awwww"ing over the cute pet and looking all shocked at first.......now I know.......
TL;DR
Showed members of my staff a video with a dildo in it. Might get fired.
Black-Rozes: honest mistake honestly idk how they could fire you for that
[deleted]: If I was boss, honest mistake. BUT it could be taken along the lines of sexual assault. like showing someone a nude of you without their permission. People need to learn to put their shit up and keep it private is the real moral of the story
| 3 | 6.333333 | |
1674545597 | 1674555438 | t3_10k03jo | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by touching a girl to comfort her but instead made her really uncomfortable
[deleted]
Dry_Possibility_1389: If you feel so bad just apologise without making excuses, don't explain yourself. Just say you are sorry. Stop writing about it on the internet and talking to everyone except her about it and just speak to her.
shimmy150903: Okay so I did manage to ask her about it and apologise. We had a 10min back and forth on text and looks like we’re chill.
As for writing on the internet… I didn’t really know what to do in this case because I was scared about ruining the relationship that I have with Emma and it’s not really practical to keep asking Jessie about this
Dry_Possibility_1389: What I meant, but worded it badly, is in situations like this it is always best to apologise and speak to the people involved directly instead of going and talking to everyone else and asking the internet. People can't give you the best advice because they don't really know the person, the best way for you to learn is to speak to people yourself and apologise and ask how to make it up to them.
Personally, I feel some things you can turn to the internet for help with but this is one of the times when it's best to clear the air directly and find out where you stand instead of avoiding it.
Happy to hear everything is okay though
| 4 | 10 | |
1674549480 | 1674601511 | t3_10k0zxn | t5_2to41 | 12 | Ok_Benefit7428: TIFU by eating raw chicken from sonic
I got off work around three hours ago, craving popcorn chicken and mozzarella sticks. Where else does one go to satisfy that craving at 11pm other than Sonic? I grabbed my food and pulled into a
(dark) parking lot to eat my dinner and scroll Reddit.
I spent most of my life vegetarian because I'm scared of getting sick from meat... but it's improved and I started eating it some a year ago. Tonight I decided I wasn't going to sit there and check my chicken before eating it for the sake of making progress. Four pieces of popcorn chicken later, I cave and turn on the light to look at them... low and behold, the one I was currently eating, as well as the rest of them, were completely raw in the middle. I was too busy thinking about how they nailed the breading this time to notice…..
Reddit, how screwed am I?
TL;DR: I accidentally ate raw chicken from sonic after work tonight because it was dark and I wasn’t paying attention. What are the odds that I am going to suffer for it?
mitch_conner86: This all seems a little sus. I'm pretty sure almost all fast food fried chicken is par-cooked to a safe temperature and then frozen before being delivered to the franchise. Also, it seems quite a coincidence that the one person who is so worried about meat getting them sick is the one person who gets raw chicken from Sonic. I believe that you THINK you got raw chicken, but the truth is that you're probably just getting all up in your own head and freaking out over nothing.
Ok_Benefit7428: Here’s a picture of the one that made me notice 🤷♀️
https://preview.redd.it/qrsywnx244ea1.png?width=1170&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=58e5cd2ba0465abc0bb5e6f468fa104c196b5d84
Ok_Benefit7428: https://preview.redd.it/kh1ya33064ea1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=bf932527ec430934aa0b85708e08348df2e5a7d2
another example once I took them home to see if the others were also raw
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