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1674557703 | 1674803924 | t3_10k2uhe | t5_2to41 | 38,409 | NakedTitan: TIFU when I (19m) missed all the signs that my roommate (22f) was interested in me
[Update.](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10kxe0r/tifupdate_i_contacted_my_ex_roommate_and)
My roommate moved out this morning. She's immigrating. The two of us have shared an apartment for almost 2 years. I've always been attracted to her, but I didn't want to be that guy who tried to fuck the first female roommate he got, so I did my best to keep our relationship as platonic as possible. However, last night being the last night my roommate and I were gonna be roommates, I decided to tell her that I always thought she was attractive. I also made it clear that I didn't expect anything to happen, I just wanted to get it off my chest so we could laugh about it without worrying that it might be awkward the next day, and the day after that, etc. My roommate playfully punched me on my shoulder and said she gave me so many opportunities. I had no idea what she was talking about, which prompted her to provide the following examples:
1. When we were dancing in the club and the song finished, our faces were so close together, our foreheads were literally touching. But instead of kissing her at that moment, I apparently rolled my eyes to the back of my head and asked if I looked like Storm in X-Men.
2. When she asked me to show her what kind of porn I enjoyed watching, I showed her mine and she volunteered to show me hers. We were sitting on the couch, watching people fuck, and still I did nothing.
3. When I was hospitalized, she said she would be happy to nurse me when I get home, but only if I promised to wear nothing but my hospital gown.
4. When she asked me for a piggyback ride to her room when she was done showering and only wearing a towel.
5. When she confessed to sleeping in one of my shirts because I was away for the weekend and she wanted to feel close to me.
I can go on, it was a long list, but this was the top 5 for me. It seemed so obvious now, but at the time I was fucking clueless. I think I was too focused on NOT crossing that line that my brain completely blocked out any signs of sexual chemistry. My roommate and I laughed about it, but deep down I was so angry at myself for losing out on what could have been a more exciting experience because I was unable to connect the dots.
Tl:dr I was blind to the signs that my roommate was attracted to me, and now that I finally know what I've been missing out on, it's too late to do anything about it because my roommate is moving overseas.
lorl3ss: Fucking Chad keeping your sexual impulses in check for 2 years to ensure your room mate felt comfortable in her own home.
P-13: THIS. Sure perhaps OP missed out on something, but boy oh boy the drama that could’ve ensued if the coin flipped the other side.
Anyway, like you said: she felt safe/comfortable in her own home and OP learned a valuable lesson in life. I take this TIFU as a win. If OP is legit genuine like this his future gf can count herself lucky.
chuchofreeman: >his future gf can count herself lucky
he's not gonna get any gf if he does not act out on the hints lol
Velsca: Tip for guys who are bad at reading hints:
1) Do a reciprocal test. Do something minor, like put your hand near her hand on the table. Does she recoil? Does she keep her hand near yours? Does she put her hand in your hand? Alone it means nothing, but next if the signs are positive escalate a very small amount. If she touches you, on the arm briefly touch her hand while you talk. Does she recoil? Leave? Touch you back. Does she look into your eyes longer than normal? Does she laugh when you say something funny?
2) Watch how she reacts to others doing something similar. Is she flirting with everyone? Is she casual with sex? Does she use sex to get dinner or is she very structured about (such as religion). How did her previous relationship go? How did she let previous exbf know she liked them? Is she relationship material or just pretty. Some people are used to people giving them constant attention because they are very attractive, and they lose interest once they get that attention. It becomes a game because they are only dimly aware of what it feels like to be on the other side of that game. Being aloof can attract these people, but it may not be fertil ground on which to grow a relationship. Some people are conscientious and self doubting, and do not wish to cause problems by initiating an unwanted relationship. Ultimately, it's a shit show, but you never get what you want if you don't test their intentions.
If you think the signal is there...Ask her on a date. Don't beg, don't hint, just say, "Do you want to go out this Friday?" On your date make it your life's mission to ask her interesting (to her) questions and to make her laugh. Don't talk about your ex, even if she talks about hers. You need time to develop a meaningful basic relationship before you dig up all your sad past shit. She's your date not your counselor. And as soon she has enough information she's going to make up her mind about you and the party is over. So she's often going to ask you questions to see if you are just like her shitty exbf.
Remember, dating is a time for her to have fun and try on what life would be like with you. Keep looking for signs that she's reciprocating, but don't make her explain herself if she doesn't, just accept it.
It's a numbers game 🎮 If she's clearly lost interest, be kind and gracious, then ask someone else out. Remember it took me about 500ish times asking out girls to get a quality relationship that turned into a great marriage. (Im hideous but confident) That isn't to say you will have similar results, but set up your expectations that 1/10 will say yes and 1/10 of those will be compatible (not a taker using you etc), and 1/10 of those will become a relationship and 1/3 of those will become a long-term relationship.
Damncat403: Tips for women: 1) if you want to fuck just say so.
JynNJuice: ...and then most likely be strongly disliked by the guy afterwards.
Dudes in these threads always say they wish women would be more aggressive and upfront, but in practice, as soon as that post-nut clarity hits, most will look down at her and think, "shit, this is a worthless whore." Women who don't want that reaction either wait to have sex or make sure the ball is firmly in the man's court when it comes to initiation.
Damncat403: That sounds like some hardcore projection there homie.
Might want to talk to someone about those deeply internalized misogynistic views if the first thing that comes to your mind after you have sex with a new girl is "look at this worthless whore"
A healthy mindset would be;
"Hey that was fun, you're fun. I'd like to do that again with you soon. Wanna get some food or smoke another bowl and go again?"
Edit: nvm I'm talking to a fool.
JynNJuice: I'm not describing how I feel; I'm describing how the majority of men I've met in my life feel. I've describing what I noticed in my late teens and early twenties, when my peers and I all mistakenly thought that we could have casual sex the same way that men do. I've describing how men say they feel in surveys, on forums, or just in situations where they're comfortable enough to admit what they really think about the women they've been with.
I wish it wasn't the case. I was every guy *did* have that second mindset; it would be better for everyone. But most don't, and at some point we figure that out and adjust accordingly.
Sunbro_Sao: You should probably find new people to spend time around then, cuz none of the guys I’m friends with would think “look at this whore” after obvious advances and sex.
Owyn_Merrilin: Sounds more like she had a bad experience trying to be a female Barney Stinson, which is not at all the same as just being straightforward and not playing mind games.
Barney, by the way, was basically a cartoon character, and even then, even the show occasionally points out how weird and unhealthy the way he treats sex is.
JynNJuice: I don't think ordinary college hookup culture was up Barney Stinson's alley.
Owyn_Merrilin: If the average guy was getting laid as often and by as many people as you implied, the only reason it wouldn't be is because it would mean he wasn't special anymore.
JynNJuice: My point is that Barney Stinson didn't just go out and hook up with people. He tricked and manipulated them, and made them think he wanted something more than sex.
I'm taking about regular, run-of-the-mill casual sex.
Owyn_Merrilin: He did that because that level of easy casual sex wasn't available in the volumes he wanted, but he was always open to easier hookups. Apparently in your circles they were available. That's not really normal. The average guy actually has *less* sexual partners these days than when the boomers were young.
JynNJuice: Yeah, young people are having less sex overall these days.
But I'm not sure that frequency and amount have much to do with it, and I didn't mean to imply that they did. I think it's the type of sex itself, regardless how much it's been had -- e.g. if a guy only ever has a hookup with one woman, he's likely to think poorly of her.
Are you suggesting that what actually causes the disrespect is hooking up with too many people?
Owyn_Merrilin: That or giving the impression you do, yeah. Maybe a self esteem thing on the guy's side, too -- "who would come onto *me* this strong when there's other guys available? There must be something wrong with her."
JynNJuice: But that's just the thing, right? Despite the rise of sex positivity, most guys still really don't want a promiscuous woman -- and the act of being sexually forward gives the impression of promiscuity, even if the person hasn't actually slept with very many people. A woman who's sexually reserved, on the other hand, gives the opposite impression.
I think that's the crux of it. To some guys, it sounds great on paper to have a woman be the one to approach them and to state that she'd like sex. But after it's all said and done, they think: "how many other men has she come onto like that?" And suddenly, she's no longer attractive.
To be fair, women don't really want men who are too promiscuous, either. It's one of the big lies of our modern culture, I think, that you can hookup with abandon without any negative social or romantic consequences (one of the others is Everybody Has More Sex Than Me, but it seems to me that that's always been a thing). Or, maybe it's more a matter of competing morés than a lie -- my understanding is that this doesn't necessarily apply to people outside the US, so it could be that it's a lingering Puritanism interfering with our desire for a less restrictive approach to sex.
Owyn_Merrilin: There's a difference between being the one to initiate and planning on initiating nothing but a one night stand. Most guys aren't quite as big on those as the media has told you, either.
JynNJuice: True, but a lot of the men who are big on one night stands have a depressingly poor view of the women they hook up with; and a lot of the women who initiate with men they really like wind up nursing heartache. Over time as a woman, you start to notice that if you want something more with a man, it's best to wait and to let him be the one to bring up sex. If you're forward, well, he'll do the deed, but afterwards, whatever interest in and respect for you he might have had will be gone.
That's not all men, of course. But it's enough to make a woman adjust her behavior accordingly.
Owyn_Merrilin: See, this is the ironic thing about women who make these specific complaints about men: they're absolutely fucking obsessed with sex. To the point that they assume that's all men think about, I guess because that's all they think about.
Seriously, that's the disconnect here. You're in a thread with a bunch of nerds talking about who asks who out on a first date and how shitty it is to play that game of "is she flirting or is she just friendly and outgoing?", and the thing you've horned in on is, well, the horn. Believe it or not, men often want more out of a relationship than sex, and it can be offputting if that's the only thing dating seems to revolve around for a potential partner. It's not just women who want someone to raise their kids and grow old together with, you know?
JynNJuice: You're absolutely right that there's a disconnect, because the comment I responded to said that if a woman wants to fuck, she should just say so. Everything that follows is me explaining why women don't just announce, "I want to fuck." I horned in on the horn because the comment literally referenced fucking.
I know that men also want relationships, and want kids. I've been married for 13 years. My husband's major goal in life was to be a father, and he's a great one. But that is not at all what I was talking about, because that isn't who I was responding to.
Owyn_Merrilin: Well, there's a bit more than that behind the lines here. The "wanna fuck" thing was in the context of what OP was dealing with, where it was a woman he knew and cared about (not to mention lived with) but he didn't realize was into him because he was so unbelievably dense. Which still isn't anything at all like the situations you've been focused on. You've been focused on casual hookup culture when literally nobody else has been talking about that.
Truth be told, you're coming off in your own way as just as autistic as most of the dudes in this thread. And I don't mean that as an insult, I mean that as in you're taking things too literally and not reading between the lines.
JynNJuice: Ah, I see what you mean -- which is a bit of an irony in its own right, isn't it?
You know, it's funny; I've been told by many people over the course of my life that I come across as autistic in some ways. Maybe there's something to it.
Owyn_Merrilin: You're not wrong on that first part. There's a definite irony to the whole thing.
I'm impressed at how well you took the other thing, too. I really didn't mean it as an insult, but a lot of people would have been insulted anyway even if they knew it was true. That was a pretty cool bit of introspection on your part.
| 25 | 1,536.36 | |
1674559321 | 1674560547 | t3_10k392g | t5_2to41 | 40 | Rosaluckas10: TIFU by pushing a man to his near death at a train station in Paris
TW: extreme anxiety
So it happened a week ago and I’m still as shocked.
I landed in Paris with my gf at the airport CDG and took a train to the city. As I was carrying our luggage, my attention was mostly focused on the bags and missed one or two things taking place around us.
We arrived at the station “Gare du Nord” and were to change trains. So as we were standing at the platform waiting for our train to come, I felt a very heavy weight pushing my gf from behind, as we were standing “glued” to each other. I saw a man pushing us so my first reaction was to push him back and restore some space. Guys please believe me, I didn’t use any amount of force enough to move an adult human 1mm from the spot, little you know the guy went FLYING, his fall felt so long until he “landed” IN THE TRACKS! I swiftly jumped after him, grabbed him literally like a potato sack and threw him over back to the platform and jumped back over, as the train just arrived, which would have taken me had I been 1 second slower.
I ran to the guy and that’s when I realized he was extremely drunk and didn’t even notice what had just happened. Mind you, this all happened in a fraction of roughly 30 seconds, nobody came to our aid, my gf froze and could only scream. My blood was boiling!
The more time passed, the harder the scene hit me, because, if that shit had happened just a few seconds later, I’d had killed an innocent person and would be the deepest shit I’ve ever been in my life, I would have been arrested for murder and wouldn’t stand a chance against the accusations, there were cameras everywhere. I couldn’t sleep for 3 days straight and got traumatized, still got PTSD. I’d rather die than kill an innocent person, that’s one of my biggest fears.
I really hope that man could make it back to his family alive and live a thousand years happy with his family. I never intended any harm upon you.
TL;DR: I pushed a drunk man to the tracks 30 before the train arrived nearly killing him, in Paris.
JimmiRustle: Where are you from? Murder is pretty far from what charges you might be facing.
I get that if it was North Korea or Afghanistan you might have been facing some severe punishment, but in civilised countries we actually take the context into consideration.
Rosaluckas10: I’m an immigrant in Germany. The tolerance for tragic situations caused by immigrants has dropped to a very low level. Two years ago there was a similar situation in Frankfurt where a guy intentionally pushed a boy to the tracks and killed him.
| 3 | 13.333333 | |
1674560011 | 1674742067 | t3_10k3feb | t5_2to41 | 187 | HelpMePlz52: TIFUpdate 2.0 by sending my boss and coworkers multiple dick pics
[https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/107ccyb/tifupdate\_by\_sending\_my\_boss\_and\_coworkers/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/107ccyb/tifupdate_by_sending_my_boss_and_coworkers/)
Final update for everyone that keeps messaging me to see how my disastrous life is going.
I’m the talk of the whole company at this stage and everyone has seen said pictures by now, every day I’m in the office I hear a remark from someone or other about it. Most in whispers behind my back, but some a brazen enough to say it to my face. I think I respect them a bit more for being upfront. Lots of you guys suggested that I collect all these instances and file a bullying complaint with HR, but I decided to let it pass as I wasn’t their favourite person as of late.
My boss has been watching my every move like a hawk, doubling my work load and expecting me to pick up all other slack from the whole team. I ran with her demands for a week but I eventually had enough and handed in my notice, I don’t get payed enough to deal with that work load. So she wins I give up, starting a new job on Monday. Smaller wage but with better benefits, like fully work from home. Hopefully the money I save commuting will off set the loss of income, but I think for my own mental health it’s worth it.
Also trying to cut down on my overly expensive online content model addiction, time to stop having big titty goth dommes control my life.
TL;DR
When the dust settled I was the joke of the office, boss was out to get me and trying to get me to quit with ridiculous work load. For my own mental well-being I gave in and admitted defect. Starting new job on Monday and hopefully put all this behind me.
TheRafiki7: Why hand in your notice? If they didn't fire you for that you could at the very least just continue doing just your work. If they fire you for not doing other's work you have a reason to request unemployment.
HelpMePlz52: For my own sanity it’s best to leave, plus my boss was on a mission to make my work day as miserable as possible. I don’t have the energy to deal with that.
cryptoceelo: depending on where you are that could be classed as constructive dismissal you should have played the ultimate power move and sued them for it after
ExtensionSystem3188: I'd have to disagree. I think this make you the petty/shameless/shady part of the equation. Who would be proud to sue their way to the middle?
TheRafiki7: Companies don't give a fuck about you dude. Stop giving a fuck about companies.
ExtensionSystem3188: This is correct. But I work for myself. My only employee is a dink I get it.
| 7 | 26.714286 | |
1674561021 | 1674650768 | t3_10k3p2o | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sending a message meant for my therapist to my boss
[deleted]
Scarantino42: A coworker of mine was working long distance and tried to text his gf "wanna jack off later?" but mistakenly sent it to our boss. Made my day.
So, it could be worse.
AcrobaticSource3: Did the boss agree to?
Scarantino42: Judging by the fact he was fired the next day, I guess that if he did, it didn't go well.
NotAValidBratwurst: Sounds like he didn’t maintain eye contact to assert dominance
Scarantino42: He was a bit of an amateur.
| 6 | 9.666667 | |
1672688807 | 1672693666 | t3_101lnz6 | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU when I accidently sent a nude picture to my families WhatApp group
[deleted]
Neosam25: If you delete it from your phone, they won't see it anymore? It should just be a blur to them.
Imzadi76: That's not How it works. Once downloaded it's on their phone.
| 3 | 11 | |
1672689751 | 1672702602 | t3_101m2fs | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling in love with two monogamous women who want me to choose
[deleted]
anothernewbeginning: Your fuck up happened a long time ago, when you entered into a poly relationship with your monogamous wife.
You’ve made so many unethical decisions it’s making my head spin. Leave them both and find someone poly instead of playing with two women you say you love.
Gods-Nutbucket: You’re partially wrong. She wanted to open up the marriage to watch him have sex with other women and then decided “nah” to going back to monogamous relations. She wasn’t fully thinking it through most likely. The fact that she wanted to try it may (and this is just speculation) have been to put more of a spark in their relationship. OP and his wife both fucked up. The girl is the cannon fodder in their issues.
anothernewbeginning: She expressed wanting to see him have sex with other women. That is not the same as a poly relationship. Just the reason he used.
Gods-Nutbucket: I’m not saying it’s a poly relationship. Never defined it that way in my response. Also, there is a lot of grey area. She defined what she wanted but never thought about the consequences. Neither did he.
| 5 | 1.2 | |
1674570079 | 1674583207 | t3_10k6k5l | t5_2to41 | 3,005 | Aromatic-Heat2463: TIFU by not ending my Discord call
Obligatory this did not happen today, but yesterday.
It was about 11 PM, I had finished running some errands and I was home alone so I wanted to unwind and play some league of legends, so I sent a message to a guy whom I had added a few days prior after hitting it off and invited him to play some games.
He says yes, I add him on discord, we get on a call and play a couple of games.
We lose some, we win some. Fun chats, nice convo, he's a teacher, he recommends me some shows, etc.
It gets to 2:30 AM.
"hey man it's getting late I have to hit the hay, I have work tomorrow" - "yeah no problem dude, nice talking to you, take care" and I close the league of legends client. Thinking for SOME reason that our voice call was dependent on it.
I then decide to have some "me time" and whip out a sex toy I own that makes a lot of noise as well as put on some (loud) adult content on my speakers... as well as making some not-safe-for-work-sounds.
This goes on for about 20 minutes until I hear "uhhh hey man, i'm gonna hang up ok?" -discord sound effect-
I froze, mouth open for about 5 minutes thinking about what I had inflicted upon this man. Then blocked him on everything.
I hate myself.
​
TL;DR: I forgot to close a Discord call and a stranger heard me loudly masturbating for about 20 minutes
Caesar_cz: Well, he could've hung up after you said good bye to him. Or when he heard first "NSFW" sounds. He did not do that, he was listening all the time for 20 minutes? Think about why someone would do that. And then, when you finished, he said "I'm gonna hang up now?" There's a reason right there...
chaos021: Because when you say "Hey, I gotta go", I'm not stopping what I'm doing to make sure you hung up. A while later, I might be getting ready to hit the hay (brushing teeth, setting up coffee maker, taking out trash) and come back to what sounds like someone between death and ecstacy (just guessing). I'm not sure why you're trying to blame the other guy somehow. She didn't end the call. Full stop.
Caesar_cz: Maybe you're right, maybe you're not. BTW: I didn't even know OP was a "she"
chaos021: So what? You're saying "maybe OP didn't end the call?" because otherwise you're wrong. It's not the other's responsibility to make sure OP is in private time.
Also does it even matter?
Caesar_cz: Well, if this would happen to me (I'd be the other side), at the time I'd hear some porn or masturbation sounds, I'd end the call. Actually I'd end the call as soon as the other side would say "I'm gone now, good bye, good night" or anything like that. I'd not be listening any longer, because anyone can make a mistake and think the call is over and nobody can hear anything anymore. I'd call this decent behaviour.
Another situation could be a room on Discord, where you can't end one person, if you're not admin. Then I'd mute them for me.
chaos021: And you'd stop whatever game you're playing to do so? Because clearly I think you're full of it. I've used several VoIP software while gaming. No one ever checks to make sure they logged off when someone peaces out. Obviously dude isn't trying to listen or they would never have said anything. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to have to say anything in that situation to let OP know? It's like seeing someone's fly open or skirt static-clung in a way that exposed then. You want to end the embarrassment from continuing but you also generally don't wanna embarrass that person as well. Obviously you could also just end the call (hopefully silently if possible) and hope they won't make the same mistake again.
Caesar_cz: Lol, you little pro, I have two screens, Discord runs on the second one. I also have a keyboard with programmable keys (even that's not necessary) I can do things on Discord with a simple key or a combination of them.
He did not try to listen? That's why he hung up after 10 minutes? LMAO.
chaos021: You actually keep discord up on its own screen instead of letting it run in the background? You're weirder than I thought.
Fuckmakingausername: It’s really common actually. First monitor is for game, second is for discord/Netflix/browsers to multitask. I keep discord up so I can see who joins and it makes it easier to move or disconnect people.
chaos021: If you run a channel, sure, but that would be the same in any other VoIP software.
Fuckmakingausername: Even in servers I don’t moderate, I still like to be able to swap between servers to see what’s going on and respond. Just saying that it’s not uncommon; just because you don’t do it personally it doesn’t make it weird.
chaos021: And you leave it on top just to do that while playing multiplayer games?
Fuckmakingausername: Not just multiplayer games but single player too ;) For one I’m fairly social and am involved in different conversations between different groups. Secondly the main group of people I play with like to turn on cams or screen share whatever they are playing. Once again the point was just because you don’t utilize it the way that others do, it doesn’t make them weird.
chaos021: I mean I get all that for single player. You're basically just shooting the shit while doing whatever. I'm thinking about this situation in a multiplayer game like OP was in but y'all seem determined to make it about anything else.
Fuckmakingausername: I clearly said it’s done in multiplayer mode too. You failed to grasp that. Depending on the game there is almost always down time. From long queue timers, respawn timers etc. GG though.
| 16 | 187.8125 | |
1672693147 | 1672873663 | t3_101nicq | t5_2to41 | 174 | [deleted]: TIFU and regret having had sex with three guys on new year eve
[removed]
Paranoia_Pizza: Honey, why? Why was it so wrong?
We're they disrespectful? Was the sex bad? Did you not enjoy it at the time? Or are you just conditioned to feel like "damaged goods" because we're so ingrained to feel like sex is this naughty disgusting thing your not allowed to enjoy?
Why will you have to tell a partner about this? Even if you do, you know there are a guys put there who would think its cool, or hot, or even be up for doing something similar with you too?
Your a person and you're allowed to enjoy sex without this guilt.
Bromine-Bro: I think she's having religious PTSD.
Leadantagonist: I’m not religious, but I think getting a train ran on you with three guys from a party is pretty regrettable.
Why would I want to be a free use masturbation hole?
Bromine-Bro: You're not religious, just a prude. A prude who puts themselves on a pedestal. Lol a small one.
Leadantagonist: What’s wrong with a person having regrets about being taken home by three guys? You hand out a lot of titles but don’t actually provide any points, kinda arrogant. Projecting with that pedestal comment.
Bromine-Bro: Oh no being rude to judgemental ass holes.... Anyway
Leadantagonist: I just think you don’t have a way to express yourself when people disagree with you because you don’t know why you think the way you do, so you just make them an enemy that you don’t have to talk to. Because it makes you feel safe.
Bromine-Bro: Lol it's the internet and people don't take it as seriously as you but continue to play arm chair psychologist to a stranger. It's cute. Like when I would wear my dad's blazers and ties and pretend to be a businessman as a child.
Leadantagonist: Was that English? 😂 now your just making things up to continue talking. I already figured you out, don’t need stories about your imaginary dad. Maybe if he was around to raise you, you would be able to express yourself without having a break down.
You’ll be okay stop hurting yourself trying to hold conversation.
Bromine-Bro: LMFAO this hilarious and of course you're too stupid to see the irony. I love that you've been thinking about me for over 24 hours though and came back to add more of your 6th grade insults. Tell me you're thin skinned without telling me.
I'll let you try another insult. See if you can actually come up with anything a school child wouldn't say.
| 11 | 15.818182 | |
1673788021 | 1673812665 | t3_10cjfxn | t5_2to41 | 23,817 | [deleted]: TIFU by scrolling through Reddit with my gf
[deleted]
lindenberry: 185 lbs and 5'7" for those in the US.
edit: all I did was a conversion but getting lots of replies
Someone posted in the comments their weight loss journey and if their measurements are accurate, I thought this was interesting to see how people can carry their weight differently.
https://www.reddit.com/r/progresspics/comments/vckgvs/f2658_203_162_41_lbs_65_months_dropped_a_deadend/
Traciatim: Thanks, at 155 and 5' 6" but working out regularly, to add on 30lbs of fat would make me about 38% body fat... That's coming up on morbidly obese.
lindenberry: I don't think that's "morbidly" obese for you, but as far as OP's partner, we don't know her bone structure or muscle weight.
I was just doing the conversion.
Edit: my morbidly obese comment was based on height and weight of the last poster. Online calculators say 5'6" and 185 lbs is about 29% BMI. While definitely overweight and borderline obese by said calculator, it is not morbidly obese.
MindControlSynapse: Bone structure is how your body looks, now your BMI, BMI is pretty accurate in normal humans
You're right that muscle weight has something to do with it, but I doubt people who cry over their BMI are power lifters.
Kaka-carrot-cake: I cannot tell if you are joking or not but BMI is not accurate. And what do you mean normal humans?
doshegotabootyshedo: There are outliers, but it’s accurate for a vast majority of the population. Saying you have a friend who is shredded doesn’t change that fact.
Kaka-carrot-cake: Harvard would disagree with you but ok.
"The current BMI definitions of overweight or obesity were based largely on white populations. Yet body composition, including percent body fat or amount of muscle mass, can vary by race and ethnic group. So, BMI may help predict health status among people who are white, but may be less accurate for people in other racial and ethnic groups."
ryan_m: You say that BMI is not accurate, and the study says it “may be less accurate” for non-white. That does not mean it is inaccurate, only that there are bigger error bars.
If you don’t look like The Rock, it’s directionally accurate but should not be used in a vacuum.
Kaka-carrot-cake: Because scientific studies use terms like "may be less accurate" as a way to ensure variability. If you talk to most PoC they will tell you BMI is not accurate for them.
ryan_m: People’s opinions on whether BMI accurately describes whether they are overweight or not is entirely irrelevant. OP’s girlfriend is absolutely fat, bordering on obese at 5’6 and 185lbs. Unless she’s a bodybuilder, it assessed her pretty well. BMI isn’t meant to be used in a vacuum, but in conjunction with other health measures.
Here’s a section just after what you quoted:
> As a single measure, BMI is clearly not a perfect measure of health. But it’s still a useful starting point for important conditions that become more likely when a person is overweight or obese. In my view, it’s a good idea to know your BMI. But it’s also important to recognize its limitations.
Kaka-carrot-cake: "Useful starting point" because it's not very accurate. It gives you an idea you MIGHT have issues but you follow it up along side other measures just like you said. I didn't say you can't use BMI I said its not accurate, which it isn't. And yes the section after I quoted mentions limitations, like the fact it was made based around white people or that it isn't very accurate on its own.
ryan_m: This is just coping. If your BMI says you are obese, you are fat, at the bare minimum unless you’re 6’4+, <5’ or make your living lifting weights.
There’s not really a scenario where a member of the general population puts their numbers into a BMI calculator, it spits out “32” and they’re not obese.
Kaka-carrot-cake: It's accurate at obese levels but at obese levels it's useless. You can't argue it's accurate when it actually matters. An obese person doesn't need a BMI scale to tell them they are obese unless they are deep in denial. But someone who is fine could be "fat" according to BMI which could lead to issues and is just bad for people's mental health.
ryan_m: Apparently they do because that’s the entire point of the OP. With the measurements OP listed, his girlfriend is borderline obese. In this case, BMI accurately assessed the situation, no?
Kaka-carrot-cake: You took the BMI from OP and used it...to say you are right about BMI? Without even seeing a picture of the woman to confirm or deny she is indeed obese? We literally have no idea if this post is accurate so why are you acting like it was proven so? Not to mention the OP never says obese. Not one time.
ryan_m: What realistic scenario can exist where a non-athlete can weigh 185 lbs at 5’6 and not be overweight at the absolute minimum? This is bordering on delusional.
Kaka-carrot-cake: Women with abnormally large breasts, women with more of an ass than some others, women with thick thighs, someone who is primarily muscle either from working out or simply from their job giving them muscles. All of those scenarios are realistic scenarios that BMI has 0 way of accounting for.
ryan_m: You are stretching belief here. You’re spotting this woman 30 pounds of fat to pull her back into “normal” BMI territory.
If she needs to be a CrossFit champion with Nicki Minaj’s bottom proportions, we have left reality.
Kaka-carrot-cake: No you just refuse to focus on any example other than one that fits your narrative. I never said OPs gf isn't fat just that you saying "see it's accurate cause of the numbers" isn't any sort of proof when we don't even have a picture. I'm arguing that BMI isn't accurate and your argument is "no its accurate see the BMI says so"
ryan_m: > I’m arguing that BMI isn’t accurate and your argument is “no its accurate see the BMI says so”
No, I’m saying that a woman that is 185 and 5’6 is almost certainly fat regardless of what her BMI is but that it *also* says she’s fat, and the thread is filled with people hand waving it away because of edge cases.
If BMI says you’re obese, you are fat at the absolute minimum.
Kaka-carrot-cake: That is literally what I said. It is accurate at levels that it's useless. Let me explain the hand waving. If someone falls under "fat" on the BMI scale, who is by no means fat, why is BMI accurate? You realize a woman can go from normal to fat SIMPLY because of her breasts and hips? Both things that men have much less size in and both things BMI doesn't account for. Same for from fat to obese. I'm not gonna argue that an obese person isn't at minimum fat but that has literally nothing to do with the BMI scale. Guess what happens when you subtract general breast difference and hip difference from OPs weight? She falls into normal.
| 22 | 1,082.590909 | |
1674557907 | 1674575920 | t3_10k2w7p | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By eating in a hurry
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: > burnt my neck
No, you mean you burnt your throat
Wolfies_Games: No. A bit deeper than that. Basically in the neck itself
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1672697951 | 1672709535 | t3_101pkyy | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU during sex by simply being Asian.
[deleted]
I_am_INTJ: I respectfully disagree. This is not a FU. You two had a cultural misunderstanding that turned out to be cute and funny. The fact that you two are still together after all this time proves it wasn't a FU.
As for his sister, she needs to learn that your accent is going to take some getting used to and what you said was totally innocent. If she's a rational person she will understand and get a laugh out of it.
I'm sure you are doing a much better job speaking her language than she would be doing speaking yours.
You and your boyfriend both sound like you have great senses of humor and don't take things too seriously. Hopefully, his sister is the same.
noclue72: Pregnant women aren't rational, they're insane
I_am_INTJ: One could argue that anyone who would want to bring a child into this chaotic world is insane, regardless of gender.
| 4 | 3 | |
1672693756 | 1673288233 | t3_101nryv | t5_2to41 | 90 | Sad_Carrot_5694: TIFU not verifying my work return date
Mother of a 2 year old and 4 month old. Was living with my mom during lockdown when my first was born so I had a lot of extra help keeping on top of things as I’m very forgetful.
This time around my boyfriend and I are living on our own so I’ve been struggling even more with my forgetfulness as I try to care for both kids on my own. My bf just got a better job with a long commute and lots of overtime so I’ve got less help/ reminders to take care of things outside of my kids’ needs. He’s gone at least 12 hours a day and helps me rush through the dinner/ bedtime routine before going to bed at 8pm himself.
For weeks my bf and my mom have been asking when I return to work. I always answer the same: Tuesday January 2nd. Even yesterday, New Year’s Day, my mom asked to verify if I was starting Monday or Tuesday. I replied again Tuesday the 2nd.
I just realized during what would be the end of my lunch break that today/ Monday, is January 2nd, not tomorrow/ Tuesday. Not sure if I should let work know I messed up the days today or just let them know tomorrow morning since I can’t finish my shift anyway due to a lack of a sitter today.
TL;DR never verified the day of the week my maternity leave ended and missed returning to work today
speculatrix: Here in the UK, because Sunday was New Year's day, we had Monday as the public holiday substitute.
So there's a good chance you'd be expected back at work on Tuesday.
Lifelikeshoe44: Ive always thought that was dumb. The holiday is actually new years eve, and we all know it
zorggalacticus: Yes but it's a holiday where most people stay up until midnight drinking, which is why new years day is the day we get off. It's better that way.
Lifelikeshoe44: Right... But im talking about the observance on Monday this year. If new years day falls on the weekend, places shut down on the monday following.
zorggalacticus: At my work, if the holiday falls on the weekend you get the next work day off. I imagine many places do the same. Some holidays like 4th of July we get a floating holiday if it falls on the weekend, which is just an extra vacation day we can use whenever. This year Christmas eve and Christmas day was on Saturday and Sunday. We got Friday and Monday off.
Lifelikeshoe44: And all i said is that its dumb, and it was responded to with valid reasons for the actual days being off days.
P.s. and Friday too?!? Thats just rediculous. A 4 day weekend around one night of partying thats already happening to fall on the perfect night for it this year.
| 7 | 12.857143 | |
1672700412 | 1672717735 | t3_101qlzu | t5_2to41 | 9 | bigedthebad: TIFU trying to make potato pancakes
I'm a pretty good cook but a mostly by the book type, give me a recipe and it will fine but I'm not very creative. This happened yesterday.
Anyway, we had some mashed potatoes left over from Christmas and my wife and I had been going back and forth on making them for a while. Finally, I just found what looked like a recipe I could adapt and went for it. It was basically mashed potatoes, flour, eggs and cheese.
So, I go in the pantry and grab what I thought was the flour, mix up the eggs, cheese, "flour" and potatoes. The end result comes out very runny so I add some more flour which doesn't help at all. I'm a licker so a little gets on my finger and I lick it and it tastes sweet but it doesn't dawn on me what the problem is.
So, I fire up the air fryer and a big frying pan. We just got a big Ninja Foodi when we cleaned out my son's apartment and are still experimenting with it hence one tried and true method and one experiment. I get everything set up, heated up and drop the potato mix in. It spreads out quickly in the frying pan and after frying for a bit, is just a sticky spread out mess.
It finally dawns on me to look in the pantry at what I pulled out and it turns out I was using confectioners (powdered) sugar instead of flour. In my defense, our pantry is a crowded mess and I'm pretty tall and couldn't see the labels but yeah, I should have looked closer obviously.
The end result was a mess, just kind of melted thru on the air fryer and completely fell apart in the frying pan. My wife tried to eat one but the whole thing went in the trash.
TL;DR Tried to make potato pancakes with confectioners sugar instead of flour and ended up with a trashed mess.
DannkHippo: Over a week old mashed potatoes in the fridge.. I think your bigger problem was that those potatoes are questionable at best..
Sorry you used powdered sugar. Glad the fuck up wasn't eaten bad potatoes.
bigedthebad: The potatoes were fine.
DannkHippo: 😅well that's good.
Hash browns work good for potato pancakes. I was a chef for many years.
I get using leftovers, though. I love re-purposing past food for new dinners!
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1672700473 | 1672701862 | t3_101qn57 | t5_2to41 | 99 | dcforgie: TIFU when I got into 3 accidents in 24 months
First, I got pulled over for a speeding ticket, which i got back in 2021, then u slightly hit the bumper of a woman's car, then I rear-ended another car a few months ago. I was nervous about a rise in insurance, perhaps lose all my money in car repairs. After I fixes my radiator, everything was covered and fine. However, just recently I got a letter in the mail saying because I've gotten into at fault interactions behind the wheel, I have to take a state mandated defensive driving course to keep my license or I lose it in February. Guys, as embarrassing is this is, I cried like a baby. I'm a 27 year old man and I'm in danger of losing my license. Not to mention it took me 5 tries to get the damn thing. TLDR; I suck and driving and have to suffer the consequences
WorldRenownedRacist: Sounds like you drive too close to other cars and/or probably always distracted. Either slow down or put the phone down. You're going to kill someone one day.
dcforgie: Its not my phone. But I do get distracted daily. I have undiagnosed add, so even when I'm looking directly into the road, I find my brain is wondering away. I am trying any and all options to correct my brain and behavior behind the wheel. Not sure whether to pursue adderall or something like it yet. Too nervous about side effects.
WorldRenownedRacist: Put it this way, if your brain issues are causing you to get into accidents, you should either get help to prevent accidents or not drive. You're a danger behind the wheel.
| 4 | 24.75 | |
1673264485 | 1673371558 | t3_107ccyb | t5_2to41 | 3,670 | HelpMePlz52: TIFUpdate by sending my boss and coworkers multiple dick pics
[https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1042by2/tifu\_by\_sending\_my\_boss\_and\_coworkers\_multiple/](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1042by2/tifu_by_sending_my_boss_and_coworkers_multiple/)
UPDATE
For everyone that was messaging looking for the update on my unfortunate situation here it is. A lot of people suggested that I own up straight away and send out apologise and get in front of it before it got traction, but I decided to sit back out of fear and hope the whole thing would blow over and just be joke for people to laugh at me. But no, that wasn’t to be.
I got the invitation from HR requesting a video call, I replied back in confusion asking what was this meeting about and that I was more than happy to talk with them. They only said ‘we will discuss that at the meeting’. So a gruelling 3hr wait until my faith would be decided, I paced my apartment all day my anxiety levels in overdrive.
I was shaking as I clicked into the video call, only to be greeted by not one both two HR staff. The following conversation went something like this:
HR: Hi (redacted), small talk, this call is being recorded and so on. Is that ok with you?
Me: Yeah sure, what is this about?
HR: A member of staff has made a claim of sexual harassment against you.
Me: (Shocked Pikachu face) What! When? How? I would never.
HR: long winded jargon about sexual conduct in the workplace and the seriousness of these claims.
Me: Yes I understand, but I’m still not sure what I’ve done wrong?
HR: So you deny any wrong doing on your part?
Me: Yes! What exactly are these allegations?
HR: We can’t say, but we have solid evidence given by the staff member involved and is backed up by our IT department.
Me: I still have no idea, what this is all about.
HR: Another long lecture about conduct in the work place, followed by if I wasn’t going to cooperate they would have no choice but to start procedures on terminating my contract.
Me: Wow! Hold on, you can’t throw out wild accusations and not show me what it is that you believe I’ve done wrong. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to contact my union rep and perhaps a lawyer before I continue with this conversation.
HR: Wait a minute (they excused themselves and muted their screen so they could talk among themselves.)
HR: Hi again, before you go just one last question. Did you send this email to 16 members of staff? (Along with time and date evidence).
Me: Yes why?
HR: Yet you still deny any wrongdoing? That will be all.
Me: I don’t see how that email could be seen as harassment?
HR: I’m not going to show it here for obvious reasons, but I think you will find that most people would see it differently.
Me: I still don’t understand (Looking over the email on my phone so they could see on the camera) OMG! (Pause for dramatic effect) OMG I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realise, I’m so embarrassed, this was an honest mistake, I would never send such material on purpose, I used my personal phone to quickly edit the report, it was a complete accident, if I was sent the work order on time this would never have happened.
HR: So you finally agree that you sent this?
Me: Yeah I guess so, but never in a million years would I do so intentionally. I’m so embarrassed, I can never go back to the office. (Mini panic attack on camera)
HR: Thank you for your time, we will be in touch soon.
Me: I’m so sorry about all this, it was a genuine mistake that I take full responsibility for, I’ll send out an apology to everyone involved straight away.
After another few calls back and forth between all parties involved, this morning I ended up being place on three month probation and have to take a mandatory sexual harassment workshop. Sitting in the office here and I can already see that the rumours have started and no doubt everyone has seen my junk, so time to keep my head down in shame and be the best employee I can be. Because my boss isn’t pleased with the outcome, it was never revealed she made the complaint but I’m 99% sure it was her.
TL;DR: Acted innocent and confused when HR came calling, Oscar worthy shock and embarrassment when presented with the facts. It was a genuine mistake and I took full responsibility and apologised. Got off lightly but now I’m the laughing stock of the office and everyone has seen my dick.
&#x200B;
PS. To the person claiming to have a copy of the email and is trying to blackmail me, post away I have no dignity left anyway.
[deleted]: That's one of the most embarrassing things that could ever happen and you still have a job.
Well I guess whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger!
I didn't read your original story but I hope you at least have a handsome dick.
HelpMePlz52: Don’t know if I will ever hear the end of it from my coworkers but I guess it could be a lot worse
[deleted]: The most embarrassing office situation I ever had was my boss walking in on me taking a shit. It was a bathroom with only one toilet but I forgot to lock the door.
I screamed indistinguishable words that were supposed to be "someone is in here!" but it ended up being gibberish.
All I could do was tuck my junk between my legs and close my legs so he only sees my legs and not my dick and balls.
It ended up being a good laugh but after the next day no one brought it up again.
I was super embarrassed but it doesn't come close to your situation.
HelpMePlz52: Yeah I would take that over this any day
[deleted]: Be honest... are you looking for another job?
HelpMePlz52: I did over the weekend, just to have something lined up encase shit hit the fan. But I duno, think I’ll stick around for now.
i_need_a_username201: No, you find another job. The minute you screw something else up you’re gone. Go get a clean slate somewhere else and stop sending dick pics period. If She wants to see it, tell her to cone over.
HelpMePlz52: I didn’t send it on purpose, read original post. This was an unfortunate accident
D4ngrs: I guess they meant that you should not send dick pics in general. That way you wouldn't have them on your phone in the first place. If a woman asks for a dick pic - tell her to come over to see the real thing.
I mean, I guess that is what they meant.
edit: Corrections.
HelpMePlz52: I guess that a good lesson to take from this.
Kortanak: Do whatever you want with your life and personal property. Don't let these idiots tell you you can't have or send dick pics on your phone. Just put them in a secure folder where you won't accidentally upload them.
HelpMePlz52: Noted
Sleepycoon: The real answer is don't use personal devices for work.
Take pics of your dick, send them to people that want to see it, don't let having a job prevent you from doing things you want to do, but don't mingle your work and home lives.
If you only have a work phone, get a personal phone. If you only have a personal phone, let your boss know that you need a work phone. If you have both, use them for their intended purposes.
Source: IT guy.
HelpMePlz52: Yeah I messed up by editing on my personal phone instead of booting up my laptop after I logged off for the day. Dumb I know
Sleepycoon: Live and learn.
| 16 | 229.375 | |
1674580940 | 1674688896 | t3_10kaoej | t5_2to41 | 1,872 | OnePersonsThrowaway: TIFU by revealing my bondage kink to my entire family: wife, kids, siblings, in-laws, nephews, etc., in a botched attempt to reveal our Disney surprise.
I use a financial planning site called SmartyPig for lots of things. It's basically a goal setting account but you can set recurring payments so you can save for things by certain dates.
One of those goals was saving over 8 years for a trip to Disney World. My parents have a timeshare they never use in Orlando that could accomodate us all (two years worth of shares, banked so that you can use two units in one year, etc.), so it's really just the cost of tickets. We do okay financially so we decided, 8 years ago, to save enough to take our extended family.
We had talked to them about this over the years, planning with them to go as well but not telling them we were paying for tickets. I had a recent opportunity to do some contract work for a large amount of money quickly, and used that to finish the goal early.
At a recent get together for a birthday we planned our "big reveal" and we gathered everyone around my laptop for exciting news.
With everyone around I deftly, with no hesitation, using the muscle memory programmed into my hands for decades, typed "hogtied.com" instead of "smartypig.com", because apparently my brain thought "pig" and "hog" were close enough.
The silence after my rope kink burst forth in front of everyone was deafening. I had typed it too quickly, but not so quickly that Chrome didn't betray me and you could see the familiar autocompleted URL waving to me like an old friend. I saw the glimpse of it right near the end but my autopilot hands were just too fast.
"Oh. Sorry, that's not it," was the best I could mumble. I could feel the eyes of my 10 year old nephew searing with new thoughts and possibilities while his mom stood frozen like a statue. She looked at me like that Matrix character that pleads, "not like this" before dying.
I went to the correct site, we explained that we had saved enough for tickets, and everyone cheered and was happy. Not a single person ever brought the "other" site up again - it was too, too much.
TL:DR - I showed everyone close to me a bondage website instead of our Disney account and now I'm clearly the weird uncle.
*Edit: Couple people have asked how my wife didn't know. She's had some sex trauma stuff in her past that would make BDSM pretty off-putting so I've just kept it as "my own thing".*
goodknightffs: Jeez just delete your fucking history or better yet use incognito
Applekinz: He literally says in the post that it was muscle memory not auto fill.
goodknightffs: Read the autocomplete url part buddy
Applekinz: "but not so quickly that Chrome didn't betray me and you could see the familiar autocompleted URL **waving to me like an old friend**. I saw the glimpse of it right near the end **but my autopilot hands were just too fast**"
It was just his way of writing the story, he probably didn't even see the autocomplete nor would anyone have batted an eye if he didn't hit enter.
He completely wrote the url **BY HAND** and didn't connect the dots until he already hit search and the website pulled up.
Applekinz: My point being that even if he deleted his history or used incognito this whole incident would've happened anyway, case and point.
goodknightffs: Not if he used incognito.. There would be no autocomplete and do NOT ask me how i know
Applekinz: [OP literally saying that he wrote the whole thing out by hand...](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10kaoej/comment/j5vexnh/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
goodknightffs: But if he was worried about autocomplete then he was obviously not using incognito.. How are you not getting this?
Applekinz: Reddit moment.
goodknightffs: No doubt buddy
| 11 | 170.181818 | |
1674581354 | 1674628833 | t3_10kaumv | t5_2to41 | 84 | Adventurous_Ask578: TIFU real bad
This is a re write that makes more sense
Context:
So half way tru last year my gf who we’ll call G made friends with someone who we’ll call M. So M over time gained feelings for G and asked her out but G isn’t lesbian or bi, but M didn’t take that for an answer. Ever since then M has been emotionally abusing her which has drove G to hurting herself over it but she can’t do anything about it bc M is the leader of her friend group and can make everyone hate G if they want to
Now for the story:
Tonight at 12 G messaged me telling me that M is blackmailing her, bc G tried to cut her off. At this point I’ve had enough of M doing this type of stuff to G. So I ask and ask and ask what the blackmail is and G doesn’t tell me. so I didn’t know what to do to try and get M to stop this. So I told the principal everything that M has done in the past and is doing now.(I wouldn’t ever snitch but M is a really big one so I don’t feel bad) I told G that I did and that to tell him what she’s been doing to her, but she starts telling that I ruined her friendship with her only kinda real friend that we’ll call H. At this point I don’t know how I ruined it bc idk what the dirt is or how it would effect it in anyway. Then G told me to fix it or we’re done. Idk how to fix it bc on our school messenging u can’t delete it and idk what the dirt is so I have no possible way to fix it. And 10 minutes later G breaks up with me
Idk what I did wrong and G knows I’m not gonna sit there and do nothing about it 99% of the time
All comments are greatly appreciated
EDIT: G and H would both get in trouble from it and it’s something that they did at school
TL;DR
[deleted]: Sounds like it worked out for you in the end. Don’t take the breakup as a disappointment, enjoy your life.
Adventurous_Ask578: How did it workout for me…?
Bigbigbigthrowaway11: You lost a source of needless drama and you're still in secondary school, youll live through this and laugh at yourself for being upset about it in the future
Adventurous_Ask578: I hope so
Ztxgps: You dodged a bullet there fella
Adventurous_Ask578: How so?
Ztxgps: The way G and others have treated you shows they have no respect or care. Better off well away and leave them to their own devices
| 8 | 10.5 | |
1672704163 | 1672733844 | t3_101s5sl | t5_2to41 | 16,710 | adorbuzz: TIFU by agreeing to letting my boyfriend "troll" another women when I was high.
So, For back story two almost three years ago my boyfriend almost cheated on me (but I still considered it cheating but it didn't get past sexting because I found out via this girl sending me screenshots) with this random woman that added him on snapchat. We moved past it and seriously nothing has happened since but last night she added him on snap again and he said he wanted to add her back just to troll him. I had smoked alot and he was giving me examples I thought were funny. He said he was gonna say "How's the new year still trying to get guys that are taken"? And just generally spamming prove it when she said that she wanted him or whatever. I don't remember all the examples but they were all funny and ok to me.
I hear nothing of it then she adds me again and I say haha oh she added me again. He instantly panics a bit like saying I'll block her right now idc I'll do whatever you want just say it. And I'm like why're you freaking out? Why would you have to block her thats a bit sus like thought you were just trolling her? Like we agreed nothing you wouldn't want me to say to a guy. And he said "I might've gone a bit too far now that you say that." Even though we had actually agreed boundaries since this happened before and that's why I agreed because I trusted him to do that if he so wanted. But then she sent me a message and he demanded to see it or at least see me open it.
I deducted that he had gone too far but not sure how far is too far to him and she has sent me screenshots before so its probably that right? I feel like if I open it and its messed up its kind of on me for agreeing but I also feel like you're a grown adult and should know the difference between trolling and just leading someone on/full on sexting.
TL;DR Boyfriend said he would troll a girl who has sext with him before and I agreed, when she texts me suddenly I shouldn't look at the messages without him.
StranglesMcWhiskey: Hey, your boyfriend absolutely cheats on you.
Emptyplates: Yup. He definitely is.
-B3tChA-: Gentlemen, unless, he is cheating on her.
black594: I dont agree that he have cheat you but he will eventually do it imho
-Chris-V-: It could also be that he is cheating.
Tastewell: Meh, I dunno. Maybe he's just cheating.
-Chris-V-: Could very well be.
GLaDOSisapotato: You can tell that he is because of how he is
funklab: You mean the part where he is cheating?
| 10 | 1,671 | |
1672703493 | 1672764141 | t3_101rvy6 | t5_2to41 | 1,072 | ohmahjah: TIFU by getting a little too eager with my new bidet
A few days ago, I developed a little friend on my asshole out of nowhere, and it was making my life very uncomfortable. I itched, it hurt to sit, and it was quite difficult to wipe after shitting.
Last night, I decided it was time to purchase a bidet since I had used my friend's (actual friend, not a hemorrhoid) and found it to be very useful. I hooked it up to my toilet quite easily and sat down. I turned the dial ever so slightly so as not to hurt myself, and it actually worked extremely well.
I then realized I actually needed to shit, so I did the deed. After my bowels were evacuated, I reached down and, in my excitement to finally own this magnificent piece of technology, I bumped the dial a little too fast. Somehow, the bum wash turned all the way on, and a high-pressure stream of water sprayed my asshole. I quickly turned off the bidet, looked down into the bowl, and it was a dark red.
As you may have guessed, my bidet ruptured the hemorrhoid that had been giving me grief for the past few days, and it was bleeding profusely. As many wads of toilet paper that I wiped it with, it still wouldn't stop it. Finally, I decided to hop in the shower, and I washed it by hand, which seemed to stop the bleeding.
It's not completely healed because I've needed to shit twice since then, and it's opened back up both times. Luckily, with this most recent one, I was able to clean up with the bidet and toilet paper and stop the bleeding. I'm just concerned because I have to go back to work tomorrow, and I'm not looking forward to sitting in the office with a bloody asshole. On the plus side, the hemorrhoid seems to have gone down.
TL;DR Pressure washed my hemorrhoid and it bled profusely
theflyinghillbilly2: Prep H witch hazel wipes. Press against hemorrhoid until bleeding stops. Use some non stick gauze if it continues to ooze. Don’t scrub at it.
Eatanotherpoutine: Be a man and slap some duct tape on there. That'll stop it.
CapitalChemical1: Plus, when you finally pull the tape off, you'll find your crack to be dolphin-smooth
Aiyakido: but........dolphin's aint smooth
Tsaiborg22: Unlike sharks! Fun fact, they're the smoothest sea creature, even more so than octopi and other cephalopods!
garry4321: How did they measure smoothness? Friction tests?
CapitalChemical1: Heavy petting
| 8 | 134 | |
1672707493 | 1672711027 | t3_101tgvg | t5_2to41 | -12 | SingleDragonfruit551: TIFU I cheated on my girfriend by using OF while abroad, and got caught a while later.
Throw away account .This happened a while ago. Me (??m) had a girlfriend (??f). So this story started. I went out abroad to make some money because my whole life I was poor. I was working in a plantation as a planter/ flourist. 2 months in after going strong, I started cracking. (mind you I'm an introverted depressed guy.) I reached my breaking point of being abroad having no friends and nothing Interesting to do. I wanted to get my frustration out somehow. While using TikTok I stumbled upon this girl who was an OF model, I got interested and opened the app.
At first the app might seem quite innocent, but here is where I was wrong .In a few minutes in I spotted this model who we will call NotPG. I scanned through her profile I liked her vibe and then I spotted her (18+ exclusive profile) . Being the dumbass, frustrated, depressed and horny fuckwit I went there and bought the subscription. And then it began. I started seeing all these girls that would do anything to talk to you and get you to spend money on them. I started spending 5$ then 10$ and then up to 25$ per video of seeing some girl get her game on herself as well as sexting , while I was talking and messaging my girlfriend like nothing was happening, I won't go into details.
1/2 months after I started this weekly spree and getting to know a lot of girls on the app, I was closing in on my time there. The day had come I went back home. Went to my girlfriends place, spent time with her. She was happy to see me.
So this is where I TIFU. One day a couple months later I was ready to travel to meet my friend for the first time and I deleted my browsing history in front of my girlfriend. After I left she was left very suspicious and checked through my computer and found all of the disgusting and nasty things I paid, said and did there. That weekend became the most frustrating and quiet days I've ever had. I became so nervous seeing messages like "- I know what you did." and "-When you come back home we will have a talk." When I came back I was met with the coldest, most empty gaze ever like I was some piece of trash on the street, since I didn't know what I did to get her to that point. Then I was met with the harsh truth. I was called out on everything that I was doing, I went white as a sheet of paper. Trying to say sorry, say I wasn't using it anymore. And a bunch more excuses, I was begging for forgiveness saying I wouldn't do that anymore. But as everyone know that's not how it works .It's safe to say that evening we broke up and I moved out a few days later.
TL;DR I still loved her, but her feeling for me were dead gone.
Update: I really wanted to get this off my chest. It's keeping me in the same place for a while now. Yes I know I was so so wrong for that she was the best women u could ever get, and I broke her heart into a billion pieces.
Update 2: After that if it makes reddit feel better I was in deep depression. Currently taking therapy courses while being on antidepressants and sleeping pills. I developed Insomnia and lack of appetite as well as social anxiety.
[deleted]: Mmmm idk man…it’s porn. The performers you subscribed to were est exotic dancers. The minute your subscription ends, they move on. That’s not really cheating, imo. That’s not that big of of deal, I mean was your gf willing to even talk to you in a intimate manner while you two were apart? You def sound like an average, young, horn dog but idk man…i think you’re taking too much blame on this FU.
SingleDragonfruit551: It's not really that I was using it. It's that I was paying for it aswell and sending stuff to them like my package. She saw the pay history... some videos up to 45 euro...
[deleted]: “Package” as in your genitalia? I mean, my friend does OF and I’ve helped them. They glance at it at most. I can see how she’s mad but def blowing it out of proportion. Also 45€ 👀👀👀 buy a sex toy lol like that’s so much cheaper in the long run.
SingleDragonfruit551: Yeah that's it. After we broke up I started learning about all that. So yeah they probs glanced at it and it was like wow. Yes 45 Euro crazy. I was out of my mind. That's a months worth of food rn.
[deleted]: Yeah, honestly that sounds worse than the breakup. No food. But just take it as a learning lesson, also find a woman who matches your desires. Culture, religion, societal expectations, etc isn’t worth trading your drives. There are billions of people on earth, I promise you can find a woman who is okay with sex/sexual expressions (minus spending all the money, ngl that’s a bigger deal to most women imo but I’m older).
SingleDragonfruit551: I did have a lot of changes after all that. First of all I deleted OF. Then I started working on myself as well as studying "TOP G" and law of attraction. While taking therapy courses. I'm feeling much better now. But not really ready for relationship till I make myself a worthy man.
[deleted]: Aghhhh man…I wouldn’t take advice from Andrew Tate. My gpa was a pimp and dealt any and everything. He yeah…his sons beat him up once. Like jumped his ass, kids from 3 different women 😭 but yeah work on yourself. Get a hobby & get social, also get an education or at least skills to make money.
SingleDragonfruit551: I only take his advice that would be positive. Good influence on me. Like confidence work and stuff like that
[deleted]: Meh idk, I’ve never listened to him so I can say if his “positive” aid ice is actually good but if it makes you a better person NOT at the expense of others good on yah.
| 10 | -1.2 | |
1673098293 | 1673184394 | t3_105p3nm | t5_2to41 | 9,051 | RatedPForPoop: TIFU using the toilet in front of my gf
Throwaway.
A few days ago my gf (22) and I (25m) showered together. It doesn't happen often, but when it does happen, I make the most of it. I was kissing and touching my gf when I suddenly received a distress signal from my butthole. The message was clear. Number 2 was imminent. Without wasting time, I was out of the shower and on the toilet. My gf prepared to escape the bathroom when she realized what was happening. She never saw me take a dump before. In fact, she's never seen any of her previous partners take dumps. Or so I was told. She managed to avoid it because she never wanted to be THAT comfortable with someone she was sleeping with. Fair enough. However, I had no time to wait for my gf to wash some of the shampoo out of her hair, grab a towel and eventually leave the bathroom. Nature was calling. I had to react.
As soon as my gf saw me turn into a super saiyan on the toilet, she ran out of the bathroom completely naked. That was the last time my gf and I shared the bathroom. She locks the bathroom now. But that's not the worst part. Our sex life is not the same anymore. My gf is struggling to fully enjoy herself in bed because she's associating my pushing out the brownies face with my trying not to cum face. I know how silly it sounds. My gf and I laughed about it at first, but it soon became frustrating for both of us. We argued a few times. In one of our arguments, the most recent one actually, I said it was fucking dumb that she was allowing poop to affect us like this. She cried and said I wouldn't understand how she felt because I've never been in a relationship with a person who was usually too drunk to clean up their own mess in the bathroom or elsewhere.
I knew she had an ex who used to drink a lot, but I had no idea it was that bad. She literally listed all the times she had to clean him up whenever he opened the backdoor in his pants. I got the picture pretty quickly, but I was too scared to interrupt her because she was fired up and pissed off at that point. I awkwardly apologized for not clenching my butthole for as long as possible and promised to work on a new sex face that looked nothing like my constipated face. That made my gf laugh, which also made me laugh. We hugged it out. Fingers crossed I didn't doom our sex life.
Tl:dr Took a dump in front of my gf for the first and last time because now she's unable to separate my constipated face from my sex face, which is making it difficult for her to fully enjoy sex. It also didn't help that my actions triggered a very traumatic experience from her past.
jpastore: None of this matters once you have kids. You have to deal with all the gross and more. You shouldn't shit in front of your partner unless it's an unavoidable emergency. Like one showering and one rushes in cause no choice and only 1 bathroom. For this reason, I will never get a 1 bathroom apt again
Knowitmall: Gotta disagree.
Wiping your kids ass and watching your wife take a shit are not the same.
jpastore: Everyone poops. Shit is shit.
Knowitmall: Doesn't mean I have to watch them do it. Unlike for my child where I do.
jpastore: You don't have to watch a child either. Just clean it up.
Knowitmall: So potty training isn't a thing or?
jpastore: Do you watch them every time? From babies until late single digits some cases later your dealing with shit. Potty training is going I'm the toilet. Diapers to skid marks you have a gradient degree of shit to deal with and many many many loads of shit to desensitize you. Especially if you have more than 1 kid. I'm assuming you have zero.
Knowitmall: Have two kids.
And no I don't watch them every time. But I did when potty training.
And that is more than the exactly zero times it's been necessary to watch my wife poop.
jpastore: When did I say it was necessary? I said it's excusable in an emergency situation. It's also not a big deal. You're just being uptight like it fucking matters.
Knowitmall: Changing what you are arguing about when you are losing isn't a good look bud.
| 11 | 822.818182 | |
1674584900 | 1674586412 | t3_10kcbos | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a lightsaber stuck inside my ass and having it unexpectedly come out during a heated argument with my parents about paying for my sister's wedding.
[deleted]
shadesofwolves: So many questions.
OK_LK: Was OP naked from the waist down or fully naked when his parents came in and discussed wedding payments?
shadesofwolves: I honestly think naked from the waist down and a full length toy lightsaber slowly emerged, glowing, mid conversation.
If only because the truth is likely far less funny.
OK_LK: Definitely with sound effects
shadesofwolves: *vwommmm*
| 6 | 10.833333 | |
1672708761 | 1672709450 | t3_101tyoc | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with a dude who uses numbing solution.
[deleted]
queenofhearts946: That is crazy . But the first thing that comes to my mind is people really just raw dog complete strangers? I feel like I read that a lot on here. Like do people not realize STIs are transmitted through oral as well?
youreallbabes: excellent observation; i do realize it. i’ve never used protection for oral though admittedly, but obviously i’ve learned today it’s a good practice. thanks for lookin out!
| 3 | 7.333333 | |
1672705044 | 1672717159 | t3_101sijh | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling for a colleague at XMAS party
[deleted]
Competitive_Shame317: Leave her alone, weirdo. She was just being nice.
aussie_nub: Don't listen to this OP. She may or may not have been into you and she went out of her way to message you on teams to keep in contact. "Hey there" is a mildly weird way of saying hello, but it's hardly punishable by death. Just continue being friendly with her. You might make a good work friend if nothing else.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1674585784 | 1674588301 | t3_10kcp1e | t5_2to41 | 226 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking up with my boyfriend
[deleted]
Careless-Comedian859: You have nothing to lose by reaching out, and everything to gain. Don't let your fear rule your life.
live_shyne_die_: This, you two are still very young but are able to have a mature talk about certain circumstances just as long as you sit down and attack the PROBLEM together and not each other. Try to make a list of things you want to mention so you don’t forget in the moment and regret not bringing them up later
| 3 | 75.333333 | |
1672709648 | 1672710755 | t3_101uaxr | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by being horny
[deleted]
MajestaHazel: Stop exchanging child pornography.
Kaidu313: This. Kissing, or even fucking would be better than exchanging pictures, legally speaking. The law is much more lenient on Romeo+Juliet cases than it is on child porn cases.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1672710996 | 1672749447 | t3_101utar | t5_2to41 | 827 | Cheops_Parishioner: TIFU by researching my family tree.
I have been interested in tracing my family history for some time. I finally got in contact with relatives on my mother's side and through various resources, documents and first hand written accounts I found out more than I bargained for.
The direct bloodline from me goes back to England where a relative was knighted. Him and his son were made sheriff and proceeded to rob churches. Before the trial they went to Scotland and performed "work" for the King of England and were granted a royal pardon. Various nefarious deeds ensued through the line until the late 1800's where most were cattle rustlers. There is one story of a train robbery that netted a box of gold that was hidden and "lost". Another relative murdered a man in Texas and with the help of the local Sheriff was swept under the rug. When I got to the early 1900's - 1940's most of the family were in Alabama and Georgia and that's where the marriage records started overlapping (banjo music plays).
TL;DR: Traced my family and found out there were crooks, cattle rustlers, murderers, and cousin fornicators.
iamdavidrice: At least you didn’t trace it back and realize that it overlaps with your partner’s.
Reddit-username_here: This is what concerns me with my wife. We grew up together in the same small town. For this reason there will never be any genealogy work done lol.
lizziegal79: You didn’t think to have a blood test beforehand?
Reddit-username_here: In 6th grade? Nah.
char11eg: I mean, did you have your first child in sixth grade? Because it’s only actually relevant when it comes to having kids…
Reddit-username_here: Nope, but that's when our relationship started.
char11eg: Yeah, but I think the point was ‘why didn’t you check if you were closely related before having kids’ not ‘before you started dating’.
It may have worked out fine, but having children with a close familial relative causes a fair few risk factors for the kids, which I’d hope most potential parents would like to avoid causing for their kids.
Reddit-username_here: That's not what the original question said at all.
| 9 | 91.888889 | |
1672712024 | 1672752883 | t3_101v7hf | t5_2to41 | 489 | [deleted]: TIFU by puking on a guy I was hooking up with
[removed]
joe_botyov: These things used to happen in my life, then i gave up drinking.
Mima-kirigoeeee: To be honest, I’m thinking about that part of it too.
joe_botyov: It wouldn't have happened without alcohol, it wouldn't have happened on any other drugs either (imo)
8 years booze free yesterday 
Topinambourg: Not sure about the relevance of it not happening on other drugs.
joe_botyov: Just meant that Other party options are available
Topinambourg: So you are telling OP not to drink but do drugs? Wow.
joe_botyov: Alcohol is one ofvthe hardest drugs on planet, I'm telling her to tone it down.
| 8 | 61.125 | |
1674588466 | 1674588948 | t3_10kdsve | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: Tifu For cutting a guy did over my protection?
[deleted]
Eig8t86: Wtf is a mousetool?
No_Yak9498: A weapon
Eig8t86: Like a didlo? Cause I am seeing micky mouse on Google images....
| 4 | 1 | |
1672714018 | 1672732766 | t3_101vxja | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by starting my 2023 by getting beat up
[deleted]
realdonaldtrumpsucks: You are WAYYYY TOO young for this BS
lok65: Was I supposed to let her just disrespect me?
SybilCut: You think you *didn't* let her disrespect you when you let her bring you down to her level and beat you with experience? You disrespected your own self when you let yourself get so low.
Diffusing the situation is not letting yourself be disrespected. It doesn't look like you're "backing down" unless you're surrounded by shitheads.
lok65: People were watching and recording her kicking my ass. Everyone just grabbed their phones.
Baeelin: And if you'd just walked away there wouldn't be videos of you getting your ass kicked.
lok65: Then people would be saying I was weak for not doing anything. It's all I'd hear at school
Y_Cornelious_DDS: And now you get to walk in with a jacked up face and hear about your whopping. Maybe even watch it on tictok to a T Swift song
lok65: Basically
turnonthesunflower: My best defense has always been: Keep calm. Let them say whatever shit they want. Still keep calm, stare at them and say "ok". *Nothing* provokes them more and they will eventually go way overboard or just leave.
They are looking for a reaction. Don't give them one.
| 10 | 1.3 | |
1674588641 | 1674619512 | t3_10kdvey | t5_2to41 | 381 | bad-and-ugly: TIFU by getting my friend banned from Couchsurfing
I've been on BeWelcome, Trustroots and Warmshowers for years, and more recently I joined Couchers. They're hospex communities, alternatives to Couchsurfing (henceforth CS lol) . I was locked out of CS just in the beginning of the pandemic, when they started chsrging a fee, and finally deleted my profile there.
My friend and work colleague is on CS rejecting a bunch of couch requests because he just moved and is renovating his home. He suggested that he send me his requests and I thought sure, why not.
Just now he got a message and showed it to me. He was typing a reply and he wanted to give my number to the person. I said "no, send him the links to my profile". I sent him four links to all the other hospex sites I participate in.
So after he clicked Send, the website loaded a page saying he was blocked. Then on his email there was a message from PayPal saying his card would no longer be charged and even reimbursing him for the latest payment.
I got him banned from CS.
TL;DR: I do couchsurfing but I'm not on that site. My friend is on it and he's not hosting anyone but is getting lots of requests. He was replying to one of his requests, giving the person links to my profile in other hospex sites. This got him instantly banned, to the point that PayPal immediately reimbursed him.
SarcasticBench: At no point here did I understand a word of what happened to you or your friend
bad-and-ugly: Ever heard of couchsurfing? It's when a person hosts a stranger in their home for free, or when a traveller stays in a stranger's home for free. For no other reason than kindness, friendliness etc. I suppose one of the first online communities dedicated to hospitality exchange was this website called Couchsurfing. It is still the biggest platform for finding hosts/travellers, but throughout the decades it went from being a non-profit with powerful local communities to a paid subscription based service, for profit, with no strong involvement from users. I was a member for a long time but got locked out when they started charging. My friend and work colleague was a member for 10+ years too.
There's been alternatives to Couchsurfing for many years, ever since it was sold to a for profit company. I have a profile on four of those, I often advocate in favor of them, and after I left Couchsurfing these other platforms are no longer "alternatives" but the only actual websites I use for this.
So my friend has been getting requests to host people and he can't because he just moved and is renovating his place. He suggested he send me the requests and I thought, why not? This afternoon he got a request and he wanted to give the guy my number. I said "no, send him the links to my profile on the other websites instead". He did and Couchsurfing instantly banned him. Like, he immediately got an email from PayPal saying he would no longer be charged and even reimbursing the latest payment. And he'd been a member more than 10 years. It's insane.
Do you understand?
zFlashy: This sounds very dangerous.
bad-and-ugly: I find it a great way to meet interesting people, make friends, have a "local" experience when travelling. Even when I moved to a different city, to live, I check out the local couchsurfing community. If you ever want to try it, you could create a profile and just use it to hang out with visitors in your city or with locals when you're travelling, without staying with anyone.
Nephian4287: Agreed. I've done Workaway, Couchsurfing, and Woofing while out of country. Two of these are more of a work-trade, but I have met some really amazing people from around the world; and it is a life saver for those who are traveling on a budget. That's pretty cool that you host. I understand the above sentiment about "danger", but these communities tend to be loaded up with some really wholesome and appreciative individuals. You might get some people that are sort of "out there"; but on the whole... the experience is up to how open and entheusiastic both parties are about meeting and engaging with new people, in a community where that is pretty much the gain. Good on ya, OP.
| 6 | 63.5 | |
1674589679 | 1674590190 | t3_10keamz | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU for cutting guy off over being cautious about my protection
[deleted]
Pur3strownu: Melee, ranged, or magic?
Mastakko: Common, uncommon, rare, or legendary?
No_Yak9498: It’s common to me but uncommon to others in a sense
| 4 | 2 | |
1672716974 | 1672717695 | t3_101wzqx | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU honestly how do I forget..
[deleted]
Iamapartofthisworld: Sounds like she is not a friend. Good luck with your continued recovery, and happy new year too!
GamesFreakNerdPerson: Yea.. this year is for growth and moving forward to make better decisions. Happy new year!
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1672717839 | 1672778713 | t3_101xalc | t5_2to41 | 413 | Ill_Dare5628: TIFU by cheating with my best friend’s gf
Throwaway account for obvious reasons. This happened 2 nights ago, and for backstory, my best friend and I have been the closest since before highschool and we are long graduated now. Before we continue, I know that I am fully in the wrong, and this is more of a confession than anything. Two night ago, I was spending the night at his place, and for context, me, him and his gf, has always been friends. I slept in the left, him on the right, and his gf in the middle. As I was sleeping, I woke up to a hand feeling my personal area. I didn’t think much of it and rubbed it off as a joke until it stayed there. By roughly half an hour in, I was fully awake. This is where the fuckup happened. Instead of pushing the hand away, I went against my morals and urged the hand deeper into my pants. Now it’s direct contact and clearly cheating. I should have known better to not do this in the first place, and even after doing so, I should have told him about this the next morning. Instead I didn’t (my second fuck up). It wasn’t until tonight that I got the news that he knew what happened last night, and decided to completely cut it off with me. I just want him to know that I am sorry, not because he found out, but because of what I did even before he found out, and that I should have told him earlier, and should not have done the actions in the first place. I felt like I had a big chunk of me removed.
TL:DR I felt my best friend’s gf’s hand on my groin as I was sleeping and instead of pushing it away, I urged it to go farther in my pants, and I didn’t tell my best friend about it (so he found out)
PseudoTaken: It's a bit weird to sleep in the same bed in the first place tbh
Also maybe this was your bro hand lol
Ill_Dare5628: I wish it was but it wasnt
MoistChairCushion: Weird thing to wish for... but you do you
TimeTomorrow: I mean.... if it was that or losing your best friend... ?
PseudoTaken: I dont know what is worst, being molested by your friend in the middle of the night, or cheating on him with his girlfriend. Either way, you loose a friend.
| 6 | 68.833333 | |
1674592151 | 1674640501 | t3_10kfbnv | t5_2to41 | 144 | m4vis: TIFU by falling for a Reddit sob story scam
This happened a couple months ago. I’m scrolling Reddit and I see a post from a woman complaining about a bad financial situation she’s in bc of her abusive ex. The gist of it is that she’s out of money and her ex didn’t pay his child support that week, and is generally being shitty. She was feeling bad bc she stole diapers from the store and hadn’t eaten in days, her bank account was negative, and it was gonna be another 5 days or so before she would get her next paycheck from work. It was a well written, heart wrenching story, I think it had thousands of upvotes and comments. I scrolled through a lot of them and nobody had directly offered to help her. I wanted to but I’m also in a tight financial spot. I did some thinking and decided that the consequences for me missing my electricity bill wouldn’t be as bad as her and her baby starving or her going to jail for stealing. I messaged her on Reddit asking her how much her bank account was negative, she said -87$, so I offered to PayPal her some money to get her through the next week without paying a bunch of overdraft charges and whatnot. I sent her 200$ and a message to confirm that she got the money and she didn’t respond. I thought that was odd and somehow for the first time I wondered if it was a scam, so I went to her profile to see if she had responded to the comments on her post…and the post was fucking gone. Looked at her comment history, and she hadn’t made any comments in like a year. Went back to PayPal, no chance of a refund.
The thing is, this isn’t even the first time I’ve been scammed. Or the second. My identity’s been stolen so much it feels like more people know my social security number than 911. The thing that weirdly pisses me off is that if she would have responded to my message that she got the money and that everything was gravy, I would have at least walked away from that situation feeling like I did a good thing helping someone out. Maybe it doesn’t make sense but I just feel like okay scam me but at least be nice enough about it to respond after I sent the money to keep up the illusion that it wasn’t a scam.
TL;DR: someone pretends to be a starving broke mom with a baby, I send her money I don’t have, she disappears into the ether like god damn nightcrawler, I’m a dumbass.
EDIT: removed some bits bc people are thinking this is some uno reverse card to get money. There are many people struggling way more than me. If you’ve got money to spare, give it to them. I’m gonna be fine, if I really needed money I could liquidate some stocks, I just don’t want to right now because *gestures wildly at the stock market*
Laue: A fool and his money are easily parted.
MAu_klasik: and a prick and his comment are easily recognised...
Next time think to yourself, If i type this AITA? smfh
Laue: I'd rather be a cynical prick instead of being conned.
MAu_klasik: whatever floats your boat I guess.. Money is replaceable, heart isn't.. you do you though!
Laue: There is actually a line between having a heart and being a gullible idiot.
MAu_klasik: Gee you're dying on this hill mate.. It's ok.. be you.. and be happy about it.
Calling OP a gullible idiot when you dont know him is pretty schoolyard though. I'm just in the "if you have nothing nice to say" camp..
&#x200B;
all the best!
Laue: I was not aware you need to know a person to see they feel for old as time obvious scam. I'm not dying on a hill, nor am I on any hill or dying. It's you who is trying his best to deny reality.
MAu_klasik: Sad kids are sad. Be well!
| 9 | 16 | |
1674592620 | 1674596794 | t3_10kfipm | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting my sons senior trip money was due
[removed]
AllanfromWales1: [Is this you](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10kfbnv/tifu_by_falling_for_a_reddit_sob_story_scam/)?
thatCapNCrunch: You again? It isn’t the same account. What gives you the impression that these two accounts belong to one person?
AllanfromWales1: No, what I'm asking is whether this post is from a scam artist hoping someone will send them money.
thatCapNCrunch: I think you’re pulling that suspicion out of your arse, and that you would benefit from being less cynical. But for what it’s worth, nobody should ever send money or offer shelter to random Reddit users.
| 5 | 1 | |
1674591788 | 1674676346 | t3_10kf6at | t5_2to41 | 5,854 | Lvl100Magikarp: TIFU by not knowing how to pee properly for 30+ years
Welp, I just found out that I have apparently been peeing incorrectly my whole life. I squeeze my pee out and the stream comes out like a pressure washer. Not because I need to, but just because I'm impatient.
Apparently, you're NOT supposed to do that, and it can cause incontinence and all sorts of problems.
Welp, it all makes sense now. I've had urinary urgency issues for most of my adult life. I pee VERY frequently, day and night, getting up to pee upwards of 6+ times per night. I did aaall the tests, including seeing a urologist, infection specialist, cystoscopy, ultrasound, diabetes tests (including insipidous), bacterial cultures, yeast... and it all came back normal.
I'll be pissed if my power washer piss caused permanent damage to my urinary tract and/or pelvic muscles. Gonna talk to the doctor tomorrow.
> According to Yale Medicine urologist Dr Joseph Brito, you shouldn’t have to squeeze urine out. A healthy bladder works best when the pelvic floor muscles are somewhat relaxed. You should also not be using your abdominal muscles to force urine out, as you would with a bowel movement.
> Someone who routinely forces urine out will start developing a stop/start flow pattern because the pelvic floor muscles become confused about what they should be doing when your brain signals for you to urinate.
> If you already have a tight pelvic floor, this could place even more strain on the muscles and lead to conditions such as pain and urge incontinence.
TL;DR: I've been squeezing/pushing my pee out my whole life, and that can cause incontinence issues. Edit: and ruptured blood vessels and cancer?! Guys you're freaking me out
knightsunbro: you shouldn't be forcing any urine or feces out. They should flow like the shai-hulud through the sands of Arakkis. Freely, without interference.
Mirawenya: I don’t know how to poop without pushing. It’d just take forever to get anywhere else. I’d lose feeling in my legs! Am I supposed to just wait till I really really need to poop or what?
And I have to pee all the time. I feel unfinished as heck not squeezing the last content out before bed. (It’s usually a fair bit it seems to me.)
knightsunbro: Eat more fiber and drink more water. Even better if you can get fresh fruit like oranges/apples/plums regularly as they have both fiber and lots of water content. Take a 20-30min walk everyday.
You should poop without issue then. Hydration and physical exercise both increase motility of the bowels a fair bit.
As far as peeing, having to pee all the time is not normal. Having to force urine out is never a good thing. You should definitely talk to a urologist/ pelvic floor specialist.
Mirawenya: Hydration probably my best bet. Don’t drink a lot really. I’ve testes for diabetes and stuff a few times, nothing. And I don’t force out pee out of necessity, I can relax too. But I want to empty the bladder as much as possible so I don’t have to get up at night to pee/ be uncomfortable in the mornings feeling the full bladder. Perhaps my cure is my cause. Gonna try not pushing. But it’ll leave fluids in there, as I know I can push out some if I want to.
TheRealSugarbat: My great grandmother used to press gently with her fingertips on her bladder to get the backwash out. Just an idea.
MorgTheBat: To get the *what* out???
TheRealSugarbat: I’m just saying!
breadist: But what are you just saying? It doesn't make any sense...
TheRealSugarbat: I was making a joke by calling the remainder of urine left in the bladder after you pee “backwash.” Not everyone has this reservoir, but my great grandmother did, and that was her means of evacuating it.
Hope this helps.
breadist: I'm still confused.
- seems like a weird conversation to have with your grandmother, how do you even know this?
- how did she "press on her bladder"? Where is she pressing? Is she using her fingers for this? It's really unclear
- why is it funny if you call it "backwash"? I don't really get why that's a joke.
TheRealSugarbat: It was my great grandmother, and I can’t remember why we had the conversation; it was easily 40 years ago. But old people talk about their ailments pretty openly, as a rule, and I’m sure there was a reasonable (to her) context for this.
She pressed on her lower abdomen directly over her bladder after she’d taken a pee, to get the excess out.
“Backwash” is also a word to refer to the bit of beverage in the bottom of a glass that no one ever wants to share. For some reason it’s considered yucky.
Better?
breadist: I guess it's cultural, my grandparents wouldn't talk about such things but that makes some sense. Thanks. Only one that doesn't make sense to me is the backwash thing - like yeah sure that's a thing but... I guess I just don't get how that's a joke. To me jokes need some more association between subjects to make sense or be funny and I just don't see the connection. But thanks for the nice explanation.
TheRealSugarbat: You’re welcome. :)
I guess the joke would be that no one would ever conceivably want to consume any of the contents of the bladder, including the remainder after it has voided.
It was a spur-of-the-moment joke; I admit not my best work.
| 14 | 418.142857 | |
1672719230 | 1672720970 | t3_101xryw | t5_2to41 | -2 | Operationalinsanity: TIFU by finding out the girl that gave me head is a psycho
I was at a party a while back and this girl was giving me “fuck me” eyes so I was like “aight”. She gave me head. It was pretty bad. Her teeth kept hitting my dick, she kept making tons of weird moans, but I was pretty hard so I had some precum with a little bit of inadvertent piss. Told my friends about it the day after. They told me she had a boyfriend and that she ended up making out with him after sucking me off. big oof. didn’t think much about it, just a weird/freak event I guess.
After some time passed, a friend sent me the reddit post of the guy whose girl had kissed him with another guy’s cum (AKA ya boy).
Now there is an update post about how she blackmailed him. I have blocked her, but hopefully she doesn’t come after me idk she crazy.
Always follow the Hot-Crazy matrix people
TL;DR: Girl sucked me off and she then kissed her boyfriend. Became a big deal on reddit. Found out she is a psycho. Blocked her and praying she doesn’t find me.
steli0_k0ntos: You pissed on her mouth? Wtf
Operationalinsanity: it was just a trickle and it was inadvertent. I drank too much beer
RudeSprinkles1240: That physiologically can't happen.
Operationalinsanity: not at the same time
| 5 | -0.4 | |
1672720230 | 1672721830 | t3_101y4l7 | t5_2to41 | 286 | gertrudetrain: TIFU by letting the boys in my year find out I have a crush on my teacher
PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
recently my friends have been hanging out with this certain group of boys in my year quite frequently. they've been invited to many meet-ups, several parties, and a collective groupchat has been made with their friend group and our friend group. back in november, a secret santa was arranged between both friend groups, and it just so happened that my friend's bf ended up being the person getting me a present.
As aforementioned, a collective groupchat had been made, and in my carelessness I'd decided to reveal on said groupchat that I have a tiny-not-so-tiny crush on my physics teacher. i didn't think much of it, because loads of people have crushes here and there, and lots of people like to lightheartedly joke about them. BUT MY FRIEND'S BF TOOK IT THAT ONE STEP TOO FAR...
at the christmas party, to my utter shock (which, admittedly, was intermingled with a little bit of giggle), I unwrap my present to reveal a framed photo of my teacher (with a photo of me stuffed in for good measure) engraved with both our names. it was a good laugh. it was all fine. my friend's bf told me that he himself had asked for the teacher to pose for the photo, in which my teacher was pointing towards the department's physics sign.
my friend's bf told my physics teacher that the photo was for secret santa, but he never mentioned anything about telling the teacher that it was for me specifically, so I sort of assumed my teacher was clueless about who it was for. but, alas, one day my friend (because it seems that both friend groups were in on this present) told me that my friend's bf HAD specified to my physics teacher that he was taking a PHOTO OF HIM for MY secret santa gift.
school starts in a week and I dread having to make eye contact with my physics teacher knowing that HE KNOWS I have a PHOTOGRAPH of him. he's the kind of guy that could very well ask me about the present, and if he does, I really don't know what to say. on one hand I do hope he asks so that I can justify myself, but on the other hand, I don't know how I'd do that. even if I told him I got a physics related gift, it still wouldn't exactly explain why it required a photograph of HIM for it.
what would you say if you were confronted like this?
TL;DR my friend's bf took a (consensual) picture of my physics teacher for secret santa and specified to my teacher that it was for me (which puts me in an awkward position)
JustinIsFunny: As a former teacher and someone much older than you, I can tell you this isn’t anything to worry about at all. If I were in his position, I’d simply assume maybe your friends were teasing you for being a “physics nerd” or using my image to give you shit for studying too much etc. Most teachers know that we’re uncool and the butt of a lot of student jokes and as long as it’s in good fun we’ll happily play along. So, I highly highly doubt that his assumption is that you have a crush. Hope this helps!
gertrudetrain: you don't know how relieved I am to hear this 😭! thank you so much
JustinIsFunny: Glad to hear! Best of luck with your studies.
| 4 | 71.5 | |
1672719824 | 1672765918 | t3_101xzjg | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by using my sister's pictures for my Tinder profile
[deleted]
oJRODo: Sorry you feel that way. As a guy it sucks being 5'7" when 6' is the thing most women want. We are all different and dating isnt always easy. Dont be jealous! Looks are not everything! (Seriously!) I have a big nose and was bullied by it all through middle school and high school but I owned that shit and when someone made fun of me I would agree and laugh instead of sit and sob. It helped me build confidence over the years and now I dont care about it.
There are also other ways to make yourself stand out. From a guys perspective ive seen 5s turn into 8s with good Make up, good personality, or a body that was shaped in the gym.
Stay positive!
queenofwants: 5'7 is great. Those girls are dumb who think that.
| 3 | 15 | |
1672721073 | 1672768053 | t3_101yelj | t5_2to41 | 1,011 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a threesome with my ex’s friends
[deleted]
TonyTuffStuff: What drunken foolish things?
Mobealobe: It’s so embarrassing. I wandered around their house in the nude (they still had guests there) and then tried to find somewhere to sleep. I stumbled into the husband’s elderly father’s room, crawled in bed, and tried to sleep there….all while naked 🤦♀️ Needless to say, elderly father was woken up and very alarmed.
mycenae42: This can’t be real. How do hosts have a threesome with guests still over and then act all uptight when someone wanders around naked. Either total libertines or not.
Mobealobe: I wish it wasn’t real. I don’t think the naked wandering was too upsetting for them, but paired with the naked surprise to his dad, it was too much. I get it.
justabill71: Learn to handle your alcohol.
stevief150: Or don’t drink it’s
Not healthy
Dirus: Terrible advice. I would bet you do unhealthy things.
stevief150: Yes but I do not drink and do dumb things. Alcohol is poison. People drink it and they do dumb things and die.
Dirus: People drive cars recklessly and die/kill other people. We should all stop driving cars.
stevief150: That is a really illogical argument. You should learn how to argue so you don’t sound silly. But I will play. Cars when used as intended are perfectly safe. Alcohol when used as intended is still poison to your body and thus it is unsafe and unhealthy.
Dirus: You sound like a socially inept douche with your nose so far up your own ass that you should join /r/iamreallysmart. You should learn how to interact with people. But I will play.
>Cars when used as intended are perfectly safe.
No matter the intended purpose, because the intended purpose does not define safety. It's the way people use it that matter, because people are not robots. Between January 2022 to June 2022 there have been [20,000 motor vehicle accidents](https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/813376). So, not perfectly safe.
While likely many of these were due to driving under the influence, it can also happen for fairly normal situations, for example, distractions, poor driving skills, or unexpected medical emergencies.
Alcohol while it is unhealthy can also be beneficial and bring positive experiences when taken in moderation and understanding your own limits. Just like almost everything in the world moderation is important.
stevief150: Wow you totally just made my argument for me thank you.
Dirus: No problem. Good luck.
| 14 | 72.214286 | |
1672721515 | 1672731880 | t3_101yjzf | t5_2to41 | 17 | TinyFollowing162: TIFU by commenting in my coworkers desk photos
So this happened a few years ago, but this story still cracks me and coworker up.
So my program was transferred into a completely different department after a year so I had to completely start from scratch with the team I was joining. Although I am pretty good with people, I find myself occasionally socially awkward especially while I'm trying to learn names. One of my my coworkers, I'll refer to her as Deb, had been very much to herself. In an effort to start conversation, I began asking her questions about her career and she ended up in this department.
I was relieved to learn that she cool and just liked to keep to herself. She had a bunch of pictures on her desk of herself and a young man. At first glance, it seemed like they were siblings. I asked her if she had any siblings. She said yes and began to tell me about them. After a while I asked her which one of her brothers was in the photo with her. She was silent for a good 3 minutes. At this moment I knew I fucked up. It turned out that the man in the photos was her husband....... I apologized over and over again.
After some time passed, she let me know everything was fine and everyone makes the assumption, but I still felt awful. She ended up becoming my work wife and every once in a while will remind that I thought her husband was her brother when I go over for dinner.
TLDR I assumed that my coworkers husband was her bother in her desk photos.
justmitzie: When you go over for dinner is her home-husband there?
Hgrammer: This is the question we need answered
Hgrammer: And also; does his wife know he calls her his work wife?
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1672722996 | 1672901494 | t3_101z24n | t5_2to41 | 4 | mf48AD: TIFU by being a creep
[removed]
Vast_Reflection: Tell your therapist about this. This is obsession/infatuation and means you’re lacking something in your life. Your previous girlfriends, did you feel this way about them?
mf48AD: Guess so, your probably right. Onto the next coping mechanism ig
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1672723638 | 1672814403 | t3_101z9vt | t5_2to41 | 6 | your_typical_bloke: TIFU By Accidentally Left My Friends Over While They Were Waiting For Me
This happened just 5 minutes ago. I (17M) am supposed to go to the museum with my friends (idk if they still consider me as one of their friends after this). The day before, i fell sick, but I recovered in time to go.
Time skip to the morning on the day we were supposed to go, i woke up late. They were waiting for me at a cafe, so they just name dropped me the name with the precise location which I didn't read.
I hurried myself, took a shower, ate breakfast and took some medicine, and rushed over to the place we were supposed to meet.
I arrived at the museum. Had encountered some problems at the ticketing, and then entered the place. My friends were still texting me asking me where I am already, I replied that I am already at the place. They again said that they were at the cafe, __***across our school***__
Thundering idiot me thought that the cafe is at the museum, they were waiting for two hours for me to come so that we can go to the place together. They had been waiting for two hours as of this post.
I am typing this as I am awaiting for their arrival and holy hell I just want to throw my head into the pillow and die of embarrassment. I think they are ready to crucify me at this exact moment.
TL;DR = Accidentally left my friends that are waiting for me because dumbass me thought that my friends are already at the place we were supposed to go.
Xannann: If they're really your friends they'll never let you hear the end of it but they'll definitely stick around to make sure that's the case. Its gonna be a funny story they look back at and roast you for
your_typical_bloke: yeah, that was just my panicked state thinking, anyways the roast has begun so that speaks a lot
| 3 | 2 | |
1672720409 | 1672770493 | t3_101y6rt | t5_2to41 | 0 | Gilmourbreathe: TIFU “not getting the hint” and calling the wrong name in bed
I actually don’t know how I feel about this. It all started when a friend of mine invited me to get drinks with my classmates. I wasn’t going to the faculty that much because im planning to drop it next year but ı thought it would be great to get closer with people ı go to school with. So i said yes. But the girl who called me - who also tried making moves on me before but i refused cause she had a bf- called again and said that this isn’t a group thing and she is only bringing 1 friend. I still agreed and we went to a bar. We had a couple of drinks and decided to go to a club.But when we went there the girl who invited me , lets call her “A” started kissing my neck and giving me a lap dance so I pushed her away and decided to hangout with her friend , lets call her “B” which was normal at the beginning but as the night went on we started making out and ended up leaving the place together. When we got home nothing happened , we just laid in bed and talked about the things we like when we were child.I kinda liked her so we went out again. And on our second date we stayed up all night and wondered the streets and danced to music.It was pretty nice but we didn’t have much connection so I didn’t called her right away that time.
Then ı get a call from “C”. C was the girl I’ve had a crush on for a long time. We tried to make it work but ended up as friends in the past. But this time we went on a date an everything was wonderful. Couple of days later I ran into B at school and went up to her to say hi. Then A came and literally grabbed B and they went away in a weird kinda high school BS way. I stumbled but didn’t say anything further more. Then later that day B called me but when I pick up the phone it was a guys voice and told me to stay away from her. I was shocked and later found out that she was seeing this other guy while she was with me. And somehow ı was the AH for “not getting the hint that she was seeing someone else”. Its safe to say that ı had no idea what happened and how I was the bad guy in this story but ı didn’t care enough to make huge deal out of it.
Couple of days later I got a call from my friend and he asked me if it was okay to drink and have fun at my place. I said okay cause ı still wanted to get closer with my classmates after a failed attempt. When the people came it started as a gathering but quickly turned into a party.And this girl , lets call her “D”. Suggested that we should get more alcohol and ı agreed. While we were walking to the grocery store she asked about what happened with B and I told her everything on the way. When we got home something strange happened and she kissed me but the worst thing is , I kissed her back. It quickly heated up and we went to bedroom and she started giving me head but before we go all the way ı told her that ı was thinking of someone else and it was unfair to her.She said okay and got dressed up and laid with me in the bed and we started talking.But then I called her C by accident and she flipped out. She made a scene and left my house with her friends around 4 am. All the people who came saw us and I felt like the worst person in the world.But my stupid decisions doesn’t end there. I’ve called C and told everything that happened because I feel guilty and ı told her how sorry ı am and she told me that she never wants to see me again.
And now everything is awkward and ı don’t know what to do. I’ve lost C and too many people are mad at me.What should I do ? Any advices ?
TL;DR : I didnt get the hint that the girl ı’ve had 2 dates with was seeing someone else and ended up with her friend giving me head , calling her the wrong name in bed after a party and lost the girl ı’ve had see myself in the future
Sunbeam988: u must be tall
Gilmourbreathe: 6 ft but Im still insecure about my height tbh
| 3 | 0 | |
1672725282 | 1672726107 | t3_101zst4 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with a Phuket cougar
[deleted]
Songbringer90: Go get tested, simple.
Why the constant mentions of her being Thai though? Feels cringey. Her being Thai doesn't immediately mean you have a higher chance of catching a STD. You could have easily just said an older woman.
Celleris: Because Thailand has one of the highest rates of HIV in asia and loose morals on condom use, not that I'm any better at it.
fliguana: White people brought syphilis to America. /s
She should get tested.
| 4 | 1 | |
1674601052 | 1674623745 | t3_10kizmw | t5_2to41 | -46 | fuckyou7474765: TIFU by cutting corners and causing an accident
[removed]
416shotta: Tragic accident that injured coworkers… but I don’t see what the deal is. Buddy you’re gonna get cooked and deservedly so
fuckyou7474765: Accidents happen, like bro nobody died
lolgobbz: THEY COULD HAVE, YOU TWAT.
Code and procedure exist for a reason. I hope this is just a negative Karma farm but if it is real- I hope you get fired and sued- and named as a defendant directly. I hope they take your house, car, and assets. I hope you have to declare bankruptcy and lose everything you love.
It's one thing to cut corners and get yourself hurt, thats just bad risk management- but you didn't even do it for your own money, fucking shill.
Accidents are preventable. But you went around the prevention measures, falsified documents, and seriously injured people. You are the worst type of Shill.
| 4 | -11.5 | |
1672726892 | 1672734939 | t3_1020b5i | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by a dream I had last week
[deleted]
Fun-Pea-880: 1. It's just a dream
2. Your boyfriend is blowing it out of proportion
If he keeps this up, he will push you to leave him.
shadesofwolves: I once had an ex who text me "okay" once. Red flag central, am I right?!
Fun-Pea-880: Did she say "okay" in quotes, or was it _okay_? There's a difference in how many characters are sent.
shadesofwolves: I think you're missing the point!
Fun-Pea-880: The point ran away to another state and is trying to move to Mexico to be with their best friend.
shadesofwolves: How convenient for you
Fun-Pea-880: Don't forget to use a period to end the sentence. It looks like a small point.
shadesofwolves: Just thought i'd prove you are aware what a point is, despite ignoring one.
Fun-Pea-880: I'm sorry the point has been eluding me for the past 40 + years; why do you think it would be any different now?
shadesofwolves: Because intelligence or common sense aren't made of concrete and unable to adapt, improve, or change.
Fun-Pea-880: The point moves because I am willing to change my mind if evidence gives me more information to make a better-informed decision.
shadesofwolves: Is irony lost on you too?
Fun-Pea-880: Is that the stuff they used in paint that I had to clean off my landlord's house for 5$ an hour when I was 15?
Because my mom wouldn't buy me clothes, when I turned 16, I could get a part-time job and take better care of myself.
| 14 | 0.214286 | |
1673748817 | 1673822925 | t3_10c7r2w | t5_2to41 | 16,080 | ChaosOfTheAbyss: TIFU by going to the toilet at 2am without a top on and flashing my sisters boyfriend
I am absolutely mortified right now. This happened legit like 10 minutes ago. Right now it’s 2am, and I live with my parents and sister. My sister is 16 while I’m 19. My parents had a party earlier and she had her boyfriend over. I’v been working all day and had dnd, so afterward when all was finished I changed into my pj’s (just leggings). I thought, fuck it, I need to desperately piss (session was 4 hours no break, ended at 2am), all of my clothes are packed away (leaving town tomorrow), so I’ll go to the toilet without a top on.
I do my business, and as I leave my sisters boyfriend is there. Waiting to use the toilet.
We say nothing, he closes his eyes, I apologise and run upstairs to my room. This is why I beg my parents to tell me if people are staying the night. I am a fool. Next time wearing a top
TLDR, I went for a 2am piss and my sisters boyfriend got a full boob shot. Absolutely mortified
/////
Minor update: When I posted this I thought lmao, 4 people will see this, think it’s funny, so be it so done it. Woke up and this is absolutely bot what I expect xD
I messed up the tldr, meant sister not girlfriend. I went downstairs today to eat and put my stuff in my car and my sister was laughing at me. Apparently her boyfriend came up to her and said that I’m an idiot, and the two laughed about it.
Also, I’m in england for all those wondering, normally I don’t walk around naked but I couldn’t bother putting a top on. Also for those wondering, I like wearing leggings to bed because uni plus work means more often then not I get home and just sleep in whatever I have on at the time xD
I hope my little story amused ya’ll. Sorry I only responded to like, 2 people. I went to sleep after posting, I’ll see if I can respond more while me and my sister read your comments and have a good time.
///
Final update. About to head to uni, my mum came home to say goodbye. When she came in we hugged and then my sister says “hey mum guess what OP did.”
Little mother fucker told mum and she started laughing and then told dad. Spent a good 15 mins laughing at me >.<
But it’s all good. An absolute fuck up on my end but all good. Hope ya’ll enjoyed this as much as they did. I’m never living this down.
But if they get married I know what jokes I’mma crack
NnyBees: What a gentleman, closing his eyes and all.
ChaosOfTheAbyss: Honestly he is a absolutely sweetheart, I feel really bad for him. At least I know my sister has a keeper lmao, can’t say that about all 16 yr olds
iSaboteur: I’m going to let you know right now his feelings weren’t hurt and you did not traumatize him lol
NeokratosRed: I am man, can confirm. If anything, OP made his night better. Not in a sexual way, but you know when you see a cute dog on the street and you go: ‘Aaaww’ and your whole day is kinda better because of it? That.
^(Or he’s going to burn those boobs in his memory forever, add them in his mental spank bank and rub one out thinking about you occasionally, still loving his gf, because he’s 16 after all)
addicTix: >Or he’s going to burn those boobs in his memory forever, add them in his mental spank bank and rub one out thinking about you occasionally, still loving his gf, because he’s 16 after all
100% this.
AnitaTacos: Something tells me being 16, 38, or 60 wouldn't make a bit of difference, the result would be the same one you outlined. Just a hunch...
El_Rei_Dom_Manuel: Am 38, can confirm.
Impossible_War_7714: I’m 28 and can confirm too.
Phatcat15: Im 125 also confirm
DepressingErection: I’m an immortal being and I can also confirm
AdonaiGarm: Wow I wish I had a memory bank as large as yours
| 12 | 1,340 | |
1672728084 | 1672870986 | t3_1020o4u | t5_2to41 | 219 | [deleted]: Tifu by not complimenting my girlfriend of 8 years once at the movies and not she has broken up because of it
[deleted]
The_Amoeba_King: A woman wont do that over a single compliment. There is more to the situation
aussie_nub: >A ***sane*** woman
I'm not saying OP is telling us the whole truth, but there's definitely some women (and men) that would break up with a partner over much less than this.
ElectroStaticSpeaker: >A ***sane*** woman
Also, I think we have still yet to find evidence of a fully sane woman.
Failp0: Easier then finding a sane man lol.
aussie_nub: Why do you both have to be sexist? I intentionally included all because people in general are just fucked in the head.
Failp0: Honestly, It was more a tongue in cheek response to the absurdity of their statement but ok lol.
aussie_nub: It was aimed at them too.
alpacasx: Yet your reply was only sent to 1. Only 1 got the notification, and only 1 had no choice but to be notified of your response.
Hm.
aussie_nub: Do you feel left out? Here's one for you.
I literally added it at the bottom so I didn't have to type it out twice. /shrug
alpacasx: Your petty reply is all the salt I need for the day, thanks. :)
| 11 | 19.909091 | |
1674001446 | 1674082135 | t3_10esjy0 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my ring and ruining supper
[removed]
AcrobaticSource3: Was this a special wedding ring or just a regular ring?
RudeSprinkles1240: The ring used in your ceremony usually has a great sentimental value, I think.
Ocean_Spice: Pretty sure they were asking if it was a wedding ring or a normal ring that was lost, not trying to say that wedding rings aren’t special.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1672728782 | 1672730701 | t3_1020vmb | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU for accepting a girl's invitation
[deleted]
Status_Potato-Large: A high school graduation party in January?
[deleted]: The ceremony had already taken place in November, but the owners wanted to throw a big party and until now they were able to do it... No idea
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1674604799 | 1674715756 | t3_10kkg6g | t5_2to41 | 239 | ididabadone: TIFU by abusing my ADHD medication
TIFU by abusing my adhd medication.
please pardon formatting errors and typos, am mobile.
I recently started on Ritalin following a diagnosis for adhd which explains quite a bit of my past, like school performance and things like that. I excelled in English and history and was in AP classes for those, because I liked them. meanwhile, I was in remedial math and science because I hated them and they were hard. I was never officially diagnosed with anything as a kid. I grew up in a neglectful/abusive environment that viewed neurodivergence as a point to gossip about instead of something to be addressed. my autistic cousins on my mom's side got similar treatment. I could never sit still in class or church, could never just get my work done. even as an adult, I struggled with managing and completing tasks until my most recent psychiatrist suggested this may be an issue and we explored it together. she suggested a stimulant to help me focus at work at which point I disclosed to her that I have a history of substance abuse. she said we would start on the short action Ritalin in a small dose to determine what is helping and go from there and change to an xr med if needed or other xr meds that could be explored, etc. I was like, okay. good plan.
I tell my boyfriend about this. we make a plan together for him to dole out my meds for me once a day and lock them away in the meantime so I can't get them. I go and get my script, bring it home and immediately hand it to him. for the duration of the first script all goes well. until today when it was time for my first refill.
I think to myself, it's a long admin day at work and I need an extra one. junkie thinking, you know. so I go and get it on my lunch break and, long story short, 1 turns into 8. 0 self control. I know. I accept any and all vitriol my way for that.
I got home and made dinner and while I was cooking I was like, okay. I'm going to tell him. I'll straight up tell him the truth. I don't want to lie to him about anything ever. so I do. I told him that I went and got the script with the intention of taking an extra pill and 1 turned into 8 because I'm a reprehensible junkie. I handed him the pill bottle, which he promptly locked away. I went to serve him the dinner I made for him and he said he wasn't hungry and just kind of sat on the couch reading.
went into the living room after awhile and asked if he was angry. he said no. I said, you're allowed to be angry with me. I did a bad thing. he said "it's whatever". so I left the room.
anyways, I fucked up. I clearly cannot have any kind of authority over these meds at all because this is the first thing I do. when I use them as prescribed they help lots but this is clearly a problem... I think I should tell my doctor what happened but I'm also scared she'll send me on a grippy sock vacation if I do.
tl;dr did a bad one with drugs and now my bf is mad. that's all.
McWalking_Episode: Not telling your doctor is the first step you should take to not get better. Manipulation and lying in order to continue getting a medication that youre abusing is exaxtly what is going to keep you sick. Been there, no offense. But, that is a recovery thought-train error. Youre not gonna get sent to treatment over this. That, im almost postive because i have told my doctor way worse things on a regular basis. But, dont tell him and continue down this path, you may need treatment. Used to take 300mg vyvanse/ 80mg ritalin a day. Good luck!
-Distinction: Was that your recommended dose. My Vyvanse is only 60Mg and while it does keep my focused I do feel like I could use a higher dosage.
McWalking_Episode: It wasnt a rx
-Distinction: I assume rx means recommended dose?
dominus_aranearum: ℞ is a symbol that has a latin origin from recipere and means 'to take'. It's long since been shortened to the symbol ℞ and just written as the letters Rx.
It means prescription.
-Distinction: Thanks for explaining. Learn something new every day
| 7 | 34.142857 | |
1674242881 | 1674245987 | t3_10h5tqs | t5_2to41 | 251 | [deleted]: TIFU by not realising my crush actually had a crush on me but I was just dumb.
I just saw another person post something similar here. Mine's kinda similar story so thought why not share.
Around 9 years ago, when I was in school I had this MAJOR crush on this girl, let's call her L. She was this silent kind, like never saw her talking to others except with her couple friends. All my friends and most of our class knew about me having a crush on L. So during the last week of our school, one of my friends came to me telling me that L wants to meet me. Now this isn't the first time my friends trying to make fun of me or kinda tease me for having this big crush and not doing anything about it, so I paid no attention. He went as far as to say that L too had a crush on me and that's why she wanted to meet me. That right there I thought was total bs and just left and forgot that this ever happened. And the school's over. Everyone moved on with their lives.
Now I'm 25, around 4 months back, I got a call from L. I did not have her contact saved but as soon as she said 'hello', I knew it was her. I'm talking to her for the first time after school . Almost after 9 years. After just 3mins into the conversation, after the usual 'how's everything', she says the reason for this call, which is her getting married and wants me to attend. She invited me and 3 other friends from our class. I was kinda surprised but also totally made sense for her calling me after all these years. I congratulated her and we went on for about 40mins just talking about our friends, teachers, and school days.
As we reach the end of the conversation, she says , " ...You should definitely be there at the wedding, and don't think that it'll be awkward, it was a silly teenage crush and I'm totally over it". Then I asked her' wait a minute, you're over it? you had a crush on me?!?" And she goes ' yeah...I thought you knew that'. And she started saying how she was so shy back in school and couldn't tell me. Also sending one of my friends to find me, so she can talk to me during the last days of our school. But I did not show up, so she thought i wasn't interested in talking to her.
That moment, the realisation, the fuckup, ughh. I just brushed it off, telling her, its all cool, it was a long time ago and all that. I did not tell her that I had a crush on her too but i kinda think she must've found out by now from someone from our school. Then got off the phone. Hated myself.
TL;DR : Realized that my crush actually had a crush on me too after 9 years, just before her wedding.
Big-Maintenance-109: I just want to say that if she was over the crush she wouldn’t be calling after 9 years or bring it up.
[deleted]: She's married now :)
AcrobaticSource3: > She’s married ***for*** now :)
FIFY
[deleted]: Lol
| 5 | 50.2 | |
1672723645 | 1672849551 | t3_101z9y3 | t5_2to41 | 85 | boringhoul: TIFU by making garlic bread
I live with my sister in two bedroom apartment, it’s not like a big house, but it has enough space for both of us. Because of this, smells travel around the place, so when someone is cooking in the kitchen, you can tell no matter where you are in the apartment. Another thing important to note is that my sister suffers from chronic migraines, vertigo, dysautonomia, etc. I know her triggers, so obviously I try my best to avoid them at all times, and I help her in any way that I can when she is suffering from these conditions.
Today, I was hungry, so I decided to make myself a snack, and because I am a garlic lover, I decided to make garlic bread. My sister was sleeping when I made it so she didn’t smell it when I was making it initially, but she woke up to the smell after I had finished making it. She came into the kitchen to tell me how potent the smell of the garlic was and she told me she really disliked it. I apologized and told her I wouldn’t make it again without telling her. She then went back to her room, and I went to mine.
About 20 minutes later I go to check on her, and my sister is curled up on her bed CRYING because of a migraine. The smell of my garlic bread had triggered one of her migraines. Also important to note is that my sister has a high pain tolerance and NEVER cries when she has migraines. I feel so so SO bad right now. I had no idea that this would happen because it’s never happened in the past. I’ve gotten her ice and water, and her meds are starting to kick in so hopefully she’ll start to feel better soon, but oh my god I am never eating garlic while I am in our apartment or with her again.
[TL:DR the smell of garlic triggered my sister’s migraines.]
Blindman2k17: Good God, we’re growing soft as a nation!
PheonixGalaxy: I see that your stressed friend, you want some garlic bread?
Blindman2k17: I would, but it would give someone a headache and they'd cry.
PheonixGalaxy: I think more garlic bread will help
| 5 | 17 | |
1674604940 | 1674668866 | t3_10kkiiw | t5_2to41 | 3 | Shadow3456TB: TIFU By assuming a student at my Uni I find really attractive studied something she actually did not
Well, just as the title says, for some reason I had assumed this woman studied in the education faculty, but it turned out she's an engineering major.
The TIFU comes into action when I decided to engage in conversation asking for a possible elective course in her faculty, or rather the one I had assumed was hers... Mind you, I'm not very good with women, but I thought since the question was genuine, it would be a good conversation kick starter. You can guess what happened next, I apologized and finished the conversation out of embarrassment.
Oh, and as a way to force myself to talk to her, I had bet with a friend 3 jars of booze, so not only did I miss my chance, but now owe my buddy like 50 bucks in booze. Smh
PS: I'm still trying to figure out why the hell did I assume that, lmao.
PS2: Excuse my English, I'm not a native speaker.
TL: DR: The title, and now I owe my friend 50 bucks due to it.
ComfortJones: Was weed involved in this post by any chance
Shadow3456TB: Nope, I don't smoke. But I get why you'd think so, lol.
| 3 | 1 | |
1672734478 | 1672735334 | t3_1022j6u | t5_2to41 | -1 | Dry_Ad_1090: TIFU by snitching on my sister and her friend for doing edibles
[removed]
seekTRUTH33boldly: I mean, money is hard to come by these days and to have enough is a whole different conversation all together; so I feel ya on being upset with her using parents' money on that...
Not sure how I personally would have handled the situation. Maybe not much differently than you but I have my set of morals like anyone else does for themselves..
Hmmmm, comfort her.. if she drinks tea you get her that. Her fav candy or whatever and while giving her something jus be frank with her with your thoughts.. having a good relationship with sibling is important because you never know when you'll need em to have your back in the future.. good luck :)
Dry_Ad_1090: Yes thank you, i offered to buy her a plushie of our pet parrot, that made her a bit happy but its just hard, im very ignorant and scared when it comes to talking to my family, my sisters main concern is that now she has no friends to talk to, i am just telling her that friends come and go, she may have lost one but she will find someone else. Also sorry if this is the wrong sub for this shit, idk what other subs i can go to for help
| 3 | -0.333333 | |
1672735213 | 1672766521 | t3_1022qni | t5_2to41 | 808 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking at who my (25f) boyfriend (24m) follows on instagram
[deleted]
krishisnotmyrealname: i dont understand the people who have porn outside the incognito tab
Linkwair: Because when you are older nobody is suppose to look what is on your phone.
Capt-Javi: This. Is part of your personal space. Whatever people do in their phones is part of their privacy.
If OP has insecurities.. then that's something that she needs to work on... Or find someone else who doesn't like porn?
[deleted]: Did you even read the post? He admitted to sexting with other woman and now she thinks it’s weird that he follows porn accounts on Instagram.
What has that to do with phones being a part of privacy?
Capt-Javi: Went from sexting to consuming porn. How's that bad?
Whatever you follow is a matter of personal preference.
[deleted]: nobody wants to be associated with someone who openly follows porn accounts.
Capt-Javi: I don't judge people based on what they like and dislike.
Everyone has different taste, different way of dressing, different sexual preference, religion, politics.. why is this any different?
[deleted]: Because your outfit doesn’t dehumanize half of humanity?
Because porn is something done in private?
Do you really need someone to explain you the difference?
Capt-Javi: He is doing it from his phone not out in public.
[deleted]: He publicly follows pornstars on Instagram. Literally everyone can see this.
Capt-Javi: Can you see it? I can't.. wven if I did. Not my business
Why people have stigma about porn?
Is it against your beliefs??
| 12 | 67.333333 | |
1672733800 | 1672799722 | t3_1022cck | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a New Years kiss
[deleted]
Lord_Jefe: There’s a lot to unpack here.
First off, you need some professional help in dealing with the trauma you have. You can’t get into a relationship until you’re ok with you.
Secondly, I think your friend might be the lying as they felt bad for hurting you. After you see a therapist, you’re going to want to speak with them & ask them if that might be the case. Explain how you felt & why, because otherwise, stuff is going to get mighty uncomfortable.
soupysouptime: I should clarify that I’m not looking to date or get into a relationship right now. I have worked through a lot of my trauma but was having a serious panic moment over the situation. I feel a lot better now and I think I just needed a place to lay it all out so that I could work through it.
They are in therapy and I used to be, unfortunately though I have had a hard time finding a new therapist. I have a great support system though and know that I’m doing better now <3
Lord_Jefe: I’m glad you’re feeling better. I know what it’s like to just need to write about what’s going thru your mind. After annoying several of my friends with long texts, I finally did what they suggested & I started journaling. One day I might put it on the web as there’s a lot of humor in there, as well as pain.
I feel better when I look back to see what was in my head at that time. When I finally got a therapist I liked, it turns out that she was going to suggest i start journaling.
| 4 | 2.5 | |
1674611282 | 1674666492 | t3_10kmstp | t5_2to41 | 6 | 238bazinga: TIFU by being helpful (apparently)
Obligatory: this was over a year ago.
In September 2021, I was hired as a ramp agent, contracted to Spirit Airlines. I trained in Newark for a week and opened the station in October. I enjoyed the job - more the crew than the work - and as one of the 4 who opened the station, I enjoyed seniority over most others. It was a good job for me, for a while.
Thanksgiving 2021 was rainy and icy, just an ugly day. I was in the bag room (the opposite side of the ticket counter, next to the ramp) where it was comfortable. Radio goes off, time to head to my ramp. I take the final bags, hop on the tug and drag the luggage to the ramp. Plane comes in, chocks in and we start the unload process. Here's where things get fuzzy.
What I remember was asking my lead if I can go into the cargo hold and help my coworker who was unloading. He gave me the green light, I scramble up and then...nothing. I woke up in the back of an ambulance. Great, this is fine. I can't even form words so I just pass out till we get to the ER. I woke up and was, thankfully, surrounded by family.
Apparently, I fell between the fuselage and the bar on the side of the belt loader. Leave it to me to be able to fit in that gap and fall 🫠. I broke my elbow and hit my head, earning a mild concussion. Put me out of work for 2 months, BUT it was through most of the winter, so I really wasn't going to complain. I was able to relax at home and do whatever I wanted. I managed to catch COVID in early January (go figure, I didn't go anywhere!) and got over that, and was back to work in mid February.
TL;DR wanted to be helpful, ended up falling and taking myself out of commission for 2 months.
jayprolas: I'm having a hard time picturing where you fell. Is it a "go figure" moment because you're small in stature? Or because you're unlucky? Glad you're OK and that you have good humour about it now.
238bazinga: I'm not small so much as I am thin, if that makes sense. Trust me, you're as confused as myself and my former co-workers are in how I feel off the loader. If I had any recollection of it, I would've made that clear.
| 3 | 2 | |
1674615541 | 1674665101 | t3_10ko99j | t5_2to41 | 761 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with the person who conducted my job interview
[deleted]
PicardTangoAlpha: He could do the right thing, admit the truth to his colleagues, bow out and ask them to have a do over. He shouldn't have stayed in it.
Aquaticbadger: Lol and you think your first impression of someone being that they had a one night stand with your colleague would have led to a higher chance of her being employed?
PicardTangoAlpha: Have you always considered yourself in charge of women's private lives?
Aquaticbadger: What an odd comment. What's that got to do with anything? Do you think that and just looking for support? I'd temper those views in public if I were you. It's a bit outdated
PicardTangoAlpha: What ‘views’? Do you like controlling what other people do?
Aquaticbadger: What the hell are you talking about? You are just saying random things unrelated to anything I said.
You need help!
PicardTangoAlpha: What the hell are *you* talking about? Control freak.
Aquaticbadger: Show me where I said I wanted to control anyone. Then you can feel silly and apologise
PicardTangoAlpha: Oh I’m so silly and apologetic.
| 10 | 76.1 | |
1672845580 | 1672918262 | t3_103651h | t5_2to41 | 15,715 | gamerfanforlife: TIFU by not realizing my stepfather never had a son
So some context first. My mother cheated on my dad with with stepfather over 10 years ago and they have been married for 7 years now. I never really gave my stepfather a chance because of that. I wasn’t rude or a jerk to him I just didn’t want to go and do things with him because I felt like he ruined my parents marriage. Anyway I started riding motorcycles about 6 months ago and he started riding them too and I thought it was odd because he never talked about it before. Him and I have gone on a couple of rides together now and it never hit me till now that he tried so hard to do stuff with me because he never had a son of his own. He has 4 daughters and then me his stepson who was just blowing him off for years. I can’t believe I never realized that till today I feel like such a jerk and that I wasted all that time with him. I hope he can forgive me someday. Sorry I’m on mobile.
TL;DR Never gave step father a chance, realized today he tried so hard to have a relationship with me because he never had a son and he saw me as a son. I hope it’s not to late to fix.
Update: WOW there are so many mixed comments here some saying I’ve matured and am ready to forgive him and others that say screw him he ruined your family. He did know that my mom was married and I won’t forget what he did to my family. But that was also 10 years ago both of my parents are doing very good and I’m ready to move on from that finally. He has been a good father to his four daughters. I just never realized he’s always treated me the same way he treats them and the way my father still treats me. It’s going to be a long road but I am finally going to start opening up to him a little more, he is not my father and will never be my father. But he has always been there for me and I never cared.
oo-mox83: He could have done any of that with his daughters. He wasted four opportunities to bond over the years before you came along.
FG88_NR: To be fair, we don't know if the stepfather wasted bonding with his daughters. He could have gone a different way to bond with them.
Or, you know, he didn't, and he's actually a shit dad 🤷🏻♂️
oo-mox83: The wording of it was kinda off. Like he always wanted to bond but all he had was daughters. It's a pretty common thing.
Usrname52: And OP'S feelings about this too. The idea that his step father must want to bond BECAUSE he doesn't have sons, and that's why he feels bad that he rejected his step father. He feels bad/guilty that his step father was stuck with only daughters, and every man deserves a son to bond with.
OP is sexist.
oo-mox83: This whole thing is infuriating because I was one of two daughters and my dad felt like he got screwed. These guys never understand how fucked up that is.
Ahridesu: Guys feel more connection to sons obviously, Y DNA is also gone when there is no son. Having preference for kids isn't imo sexist.
oo-mox83: It's sad that so many men refuse to bond with their daughters because of all that mess. Y chromosomes contribute no more or less to a child's genes than X chromosomes from the father. Sons are no more their father's than daughters are. I feel like a lot of times men refuse to bond with their daughters out of fear of doing things they don't find "manly," like painting a little girl's nails or helping with her hair. It's a disservice to those girls and fathers miss out on their kids' lives. It's just sad, and all for the sake of appearances and fragile egos.
Ahridesu: Not sure if they refuse to bond with their daughter, it is just that they don't know what is so significant of coloring nails or doing hair. A guy can understand why another guy likes some hobbies. He can relate, and maybe he remembers the time when he was younger when he used to do the same thing.
Many times, the father sees his son as reflection of himself of when he was younger I believe. Which makes for a closer bond between a son and father.
It's also why someone's best friend is usually someone of same gender. A girls best friend is usually a girl, and a guy's best friend is usually a guy. It's just different. Husband and wife bond is different from a bond between friends.
oo-mox83: That makes me wonder how men with that thought process end up married to women. If bonding with women/girls is insignificant, are these men incapable of bonding with their wives too? I never got to play with Legos when I was little, but I loved playing with them with all three of my kids and they benefitted from just spending time together. My son was a typical wild little boy but I didn't avoid spending time with him just because I failed to see the significance of activities themselves. And are we going to pretend like girls aren't interested in and don't benefit from learning skills from their fathers? God, I always hated it when my dad would be teaching my boy cousins how to work on cars or fix things and he'd tell me to go inside and play. I was interested and he didn't give a shit because I didn't have a dick. I've learned a lot as an adult but I've also spent a ton of money to have things fixed that I could have learned to fix from him, but he never wanted to spend the time teaching me or my sister. He sure had time to teach our male cousins though. But hey, at least he wasn't having to spend time with us girls since we apparently weren't a reflection of him. Meanwhile I have a cousin who has three daughters and when they brought their youngest one to her first family gathering, one dumbass said, "another girl? Better luck next time." Cousin had some words about that. His girls can shoot and roughhouse and God only knows what else, and he and their mom both teach those girls and bond with them and love them. He's a better father than mine was, and better than any man who would treat a daughter as less than a son.
Ahridesu: I think your father not teaching you how to fix cars and such does not come from trying to be disconnected with you, but rather he sees it as a man's role to fix cars, fix stuff in the house, and to treat his wife like a princess(he probably didnt let his wife fix things in the house). 100% he loves you far more than your cousin at least. The fact that he told you to play inside kind of shows that he does not expect girls to take on these kind of roles. By no means is this sexist, it is just that it seems like he sees women more appropriate for certain things and men appropriate for certain things.
In addition, if you ask for help from your dad or your boy siblings, I am sure they would have tried to come and fix the issues you have. That is imo the duty the boys in the family to help the girls in the family. That is probably how your dad thought as well(Did your father tell his sons to protect their sister and mother? Did he teach them how to become a real man?)
He might have wanted you to be married by now before you left so that your husband can fix everything in the house for you. Please do not take what he has done towards you negatively. Your dad is your dad, he might not have taught you or explained to you why, maybe try asking him. I am sure he has an answer for it.
dumbstrawberry: This is the most ridiculous answer I’ve every seen. I don’t think you know what sexist means. If you’re discriminating against people based on gender (like teaching your sons things that you don’t teach your daughters purely because they’re not boys), then you are sexist. Throwing women into stereotypical social roles, especially when they don’t want those roles, is textbook sexism.
Ahridesu: You also teach daughter something you don't teach sons. This is gender role, not sexism. He threw men and women into stereotypical gender roles. Gender roles !=sexism because sexism implies one gender is better than the other. Gender roles don't say that.
dumbstrawberry: Enforced gender roles are sexism. Sexism can go both ways. Please tell me what you think sexism is.
Ahridesu: Sexism is when one gender is more superior than the other.
dumbstrawberry: Google definition: prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex. What you said is an example of this, but there are a lot more situations than that which count as sexism. And once again, it goes both ways and you can be sexist against men as well.
Ahridesu: That is not what I said. Gender roles don't mean discrimination towards anyone. Discrimination implies one gender is treated better than the other which is not the case.
dumbstrawberry: But it literally does because it means you are forced into a role based on gender, and it is looked down upon if you don’t want to be in that role. For example, my mother originally didn’t want me to go to school for engineering because it was “a man’s job”. Literally the only reason was that I am not a man. That is very clearly discrimination. Imagine if someone said a person shouldn’t do something because they were black. Replace “black” in that sentence with another kind of person and it will almost always be discrimination. “You can’t be a ballet dancer or a nurse because you’re a man.” That’s sexist. “You can’t be a mechanic because you’re a woman.” Also sexist. Being a woman, man, black, white, or whatever should not dictate the vast majority of your life choices or how you’re treated, and if it does that’s discrimination. All kids should learn how to fix a car, cook, clean, take out the garbage, fix a broken shower head, change a light bulb, etc. I hope this made sense. Currently getting my ass kicked by covid and my brain feels like it melted lol
| 18 | 873.055556 | |
1674615679 | 1674679358 | t3_10kob88 | t5_2to41 | 81 | allyrachel: TIFU by sitting on a knife blade
Didn’t happen today but last Thursday. NSFW for optional bloody images.
I, 26F, carry a self defense knife keychain, [this exact one](https://www.coldsteel.com/urban-pal/) on the regular. My boyfriend has the larger version, and his is relatively secure. Typically, my blade stays in the sheath pretty well, but there have been one or two occasions when the knife has become loose while in my bag.
Wednesday afternoon, after work, I tossed my keys onto the couch and went to let the dogs out for their afternoon play time and potty break. I've done this hundreds of times. Later on that night, I grabbed my keys on the way out to eat and didn't notice that my knife had fallen out of the sheath.
Thursday morning rolls around and I'm getting ready for work. It's worth noting that my mom and I work at the same school and usually carpool because gas prices. However, we didn't that day because we both had doctor appointments that afternoon in different towns. She had already left, and I had told her that I'd be "right behind her." I'm sitting down on the couch to put my shoes on when I feel a stabbing pain in my left leg. My initial thought is, "did I just sit on a sewing needle?"
To my horror, I look over and see my knife imbedded an inch into the spot right below my left ass cheek, right above my left thigh. I don't know what I said, exactly, but it was likely along the lines of "oh shitshitshit."
I immediately snatch the knife from my thigh and stand up. The dogs are staring at me, thinking I'm about to take them out to play. I'm trying to process the fact that I've been stabbed by a couch. I head to the bathroom and call my mom on the way. She...isn't good with stressful situations, so I explain that I'm okay, not dying, but that I've just sat on a knife and am 99.99999% sure I'll need some stitches, I just need her to tell me if I should try an urgent care or go straight to the ER. She offers to come home to drive me, worried that I'll get dizzy and pass out, but I refuse and stubbornly insist on taking myself. All I ask is that she show a picture of the wound to the school nurse for her opinion. Blood doesn't typically make me queasy or dizzy, but right after I hang up the phone, I start feeling faint and sick. I'm able to lean against the sink, take deep breaths, and finally regain my composure. Next, I call my boyfriend, as he's a former army medic and I thought he would at least find this incident amusing, at most be able to instruct me on how to best wrap my leg until I can get to the doc.
I can't reach him because he's in the middle of a work meeting with his phone silenced. I figure, what the hell, I'll just head on to the doctor. At this point, I feel totally fine, I'm out of my bloody, holey jeans, and in zero pain whatsoever. I even took the time to put makeup on after bandaging my leg Rambo style.
At the doc in a box, I let the front desk know that I have a knife wound and need stitches. Everyone is amused/horrified at my story. Two stitches and a bandage later, I'm on the way to work (had a tetanus shot a couple of months ago, another story). I'm in virtually zero pain, thankfully. When I get there, the principal loudly announces that we should hide all the scissors/sharp objects, lest I harm myself on accident again. At this point, the picture of injury has circulated around campus.
I should have my stitches out ten days from last Thursday; my boyfriend has agreed to remove them for me and save me another copay. My leg is healing really well, hopefully with a cool scar. Boyfriend and his work buddies say I get street cred; I intend on teasing him about being stabbed more times than he has. Miraculously upon later inspection, I ended up not getting blood on the couch or on the rug, just my bathroom floor. Didn't cry a bit.
TL;DR: Knife fell out of sheath onto couch, sat on said couch a day later and ended up needing stitches. Didn't lose leg.
Gross leg photos for your viewing pleasure: [https://imgur.com/a/HdxKK7b](https://imgur.com/a/HdxKK7b)
Raspberry-hole: fun fact about stabbing: its probably better to leave the instrument in as this will prevent severe bleeding, but I think this is more for getting stabbed in the torso/trunk area
allyrachel: I thought about this right after the knife was already out. Every time I see someone do it in a show, I think “you idiot, you’re not supposed to do that!”
But it’s me, I’m the idiot.
Luckily, it was shallow enough that it wasn’t a problem
No_Love_1353: Mistakes made under duress happen. But now you know in the future if one of your friends stabs themself with your couch, leave the blade in and let the Drs take care of it.
Firewolf420: I feel like getting all the way to the doctor's with a knife embedded in your ass might be difficult to do though, right?
No_Love_1353: Is it an emergency?
| 6 | 13.5 | |
1673500928 | 1673611753 | t3_109ra2v | t5_2to41 | 8,848 | G-Town_Exile: TIFU by shaving my balls in anticipation of sexy time and ending the day with a vasectomy instead
This happened in late October 2022.
3 pieces of vital background:
(1) My brother (M42) and SIL (F42) had an unplanned but not unwelcome 4th child in March. The age gap between my new nephew and their next youngest is 13 years.
My wife (F46) and I (M45) have discussed this situation and we're taking every precaution to avoid the same thing happening to us. We have twins who are out of the house at university and no wish to start over.
(2) My wife and I (different jobs, different companies) have always travelled for work. We both got asked to travel - coincidentally, she left the morning of the night I got back.
By the time my wife got home we had not seen each other in 19 days or had sex for 24. This is the longest dry spell in our 23 years of marriage except for after when the kids were born.
(3) I have Type 2A Von Willebrand Disease (VWD). In simple terms, it's a blood clotting disorder with the main real world effect (at least for me) being that if you take 5 minutes to stop bleeding, I'll take anywhere from 10 to 15.
Now to the FU:
The night before my wife was due back she sends me a nude of her 'clean shaven'. Knowing what that means, I decided to return the favour.
Next morning, I'm manscaping away when the safety guard to my clippers breaks. I am prone to occasional moments of idiocy, (this being one of them), so decided to carry on sans guard. I continued shaving my balls and the clipper's teeth caught my nut sack!
Cue blood everywhere, not to mention the pain. Cleaned myself up enough to see the wound and it looks ugly. The bleeding is not unexpected due to my VWD so I apply pressure and tape a bandage on.
3 hours later the bleeding hasn't stopped and the initial pain has not subsided. I decide it's doctor time and phoned my best mate (Dr W). He is a urologist, is aware of my VWD and because he's my mate will see me quickly without scheduling an appointment.
Messaged my wife - don't be alarmed, but I can't fetch you from the airport. Take an Uber to Dr W's office and I'll fill in the details then.
Arrive at my Dr W's office - he says that I need one single stitch to stop the bleeding & the usual meds to control clotting and possible infection.
I tell him to go ahead. My wife arrives just as he is getting ready. After explanations and laughter, he makes the fatal comment - you know you cut yourself in the exact place that I would if I was giving you a vasectomy.
Wife looks at me, I look at wife. Dr W sees our faces and instantly clicks, as he is a good friend to my brother as well.
And that kids, is how shaving my balls in preparation for sexy time resulted in my vasectomy.
TL:DR Shaved my balls in anticipation of sexy time. Got a vasectomy instead.
Edit 1: to answer common questions/comments
(1) Wife and I had discussed a vasectomy beforehand and in detail with Dr W. Hesitancy was due to VWD complications
(2) I signed all the appropriate paperwork before the procedure. There absolutely was informed consent
(3) Yes, I got snipped on both sides
(4) We are still using BC until I get the all clear. Dr W said it averages around 4 months. Next test is end February
Edit 2: My highest rated contribution of any form to Reddit involves shaving my balls and testicular surgery. My wife thinks this is hilarious!
jeem424: I’m curious like everybody else what really happened because that’s not how vasectomies work. The tube is cut and cauterized and no doctor would do it on a whim like this and open themselves up to litigation because the consultation is done days or weeks out in case the patient changes their mind.
UncagedKestrel: Unless they were your good friend and had previously held the discussion with you, and all of you knew that you were absolutely sure.
My close friends know about what my intentions regarding the future of my procreation organs are; so do my regular doctors. If I was to suddenly do a 180 there'd be questions; but if I was merely affirming a pre-existing decision, then why would they want to make things harder?
Especially with Von Willebrands, which makes all elective procedures an extra risk, they're halfway there already, and with the specialist who has possibly the greatest experience treating him. May as well just finish the job, rather than go back in another day and risk further complications.
jeem424: Even if you're a good friend, imagine the law suits you're opening yourself up to by doing it this way. Imagine if OP claims something wasn't working now and he could sue the fuck out of all parties involved for just saying "fuck it, you cut your own balls, i don't see why not"
UncagedKestrel: Yeah, because one TOTALLY doesn't get one's patients to sign the appropriate forms before performing such a procedure.
It DEFINITELY goes from "we all looked at each other without speaking" straight into a vasectomy, no questions asked, no forms signed, no hesitation, no delay.
The part where everyone took 20 minutes for a chat and to sign the appropriate documents doesn't really make for a pithy narrative. But let's assume that most specialists didn't arrive there by being complete morons, and that editing that out of the narrative doesn't mean it didn't occur.
jeem424: It's almost as if the forms include something about standards also being followed and not just giving the doctor a free pass to practice medicine however he wants.
UncagedKestrel: ... It's almost as if there was an ACTUAL MEDICAL SPECIALIST performing an ACTUAL MEDICAL PROCEDURE in their ACTUAL MEDICAL SPECIALTY at their ACTUAL MEDICAL OFFICE.
Which is covered by their medical insurance, as they are doing their ACTUAL JOB.
But hey, why assume the doctor can do their job when you can irresponsibly scream malpractice? *(As opposed to "In case anyone was wondering, this is NOT the usual procedure and for most people, if your doctor randomly offers to throw in a bonus medical procedure 'while we're here' you should probably back away while maintaining eye contact, Steve Irwin style.")*
jeem424: Did that medical procedure include the patient performing his own surgery? How are we still discussing this? As somebody that has had to go through all the loops and consultations of having a vasectomy, unless this story took place in a 3rd world country, it's absolutely ridiculous.
Thirdaccountoops: Where did he perform his own surgery?
jeem424: He cut open his own scrotum in the exact spot where needed apparently.
UncagedKestrel: And that's a big leap to make from "that's where I would've cut were I to perform a vasectomy" to "since we're here" *immediately hauls out the vas deferens through the existing cut and grabs the cauteriser*
There's a reason stories don't include boring details. It's because they're boring. We edit them out to make the story funnier, or pacier, etc.
We do NOT need to add disclaimers to every damn thing that you do not get your medical advice from Reddit and that not everything on the internet is true (even when it's true-ish, as opposed to "completely fictional") because if you're so stupid that you haven't picked up on these things by now, you don't belong on the internet. Try a library.
jeem424: Jesus Christ, what are you even rambling about? OP even says the doctor seized the opportunity because the necessary incision was already done. These don’t seem like boring details if it’s the exact reason and irony OP built his story around. Are you OPs doctor or something cause you’re getting oddly defensive over a random strangers balls on the internet.
| 12 | 737.333333 | |
1672743911 | 1672780242 | t3_1025asq | t5_2to41 | 9,436 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my gym trainer and getting pregnant.
[deleted]
stupv: If you're not ready for the demands of motherhood, seek an abortion. It's not worth derailing the next 5+ years of your education/career for an accidental child. If you want it, great, if you're not sure please God don't just do it anyway. It's a large and very serious responsibility
Edit: 5 years is just referencing the period of 18-25 where you tend to be at university and entering the workforce in your chosen field. I'm aware that kids live longer than that.
Also, we're 2 weeks from conception. Please don't bring pro-life debate in here and talk about killing children. It's a blob of cells stuck to the inside of mums womb not a child with literally any I dependently functioning biological systems.
And to the people saying carry to term and then put up for adoption? Probably the worst idea of the lot. Yeah just deliberately put your body through the physical stress of carrying and delivering a child for fun?
rscottyb86: As an adopted child myself, I suggest you consider adoption as well.
Iwanttosleep8hours: Honestly why? She doesn’t owe anyone a child and she is so newly pregnant, personally I think you’d be absolutely insane to go through a whole pregnancy, all the damage to your body, all the medical costs, all the emotional toil for the sake of continuing a few cells.
NeroSeph: The couple adopting the baby would pay the medical costs.
Golddntyranitar: I find it gross that people wait for newborn babies while kids are sitting out there with no parents as wards of the state.
Like passing the dog pound to go to a breeder
Bonus points for being racially skewed as well
NeverAnon: I mean… are you going to adopt those kids?
Bc if not, you should probably shut up about it.
JollyGoodRodgering: Don’t forget Reddit is pro abortion, not pro choice. If OP decided to keep the baby or at least see the pregnancy through and go the adoption route, people here would be mad about that.
Golddntyranitar: No one is pro abortion. You act like people hand out “get 10 abortions and your 11th is free!” Cards Because we just love abortion so much.
That’s a figment of your imagination. People would rather not a single one be done but realize the necessity and prevalence. Therefore “safe, legal, and rare” in that order
JollyGoodRodgering: “personally I think you’d be absolutely insane to go through a whole pregnancy, all the damage to your body, all the medical costs, all the emotional toil for the sake of continuing a few cells.”
Currently +75, but I guess that comment was probably a figment of my imagination.
Golddntyranitar: They gave their opinion of what they would do in that situation. And honestly it seems best for all involved given The situation.
They’d rather the abortion not happen at all but reality is knocking at the door. They’d rather the birth control worked.
So yes, what you’re saying is a figment of your imagination.
JollyGoodRodgering: I mean I can give you a link if you want. You’re really trying to twist the scenario around as much as possible to sound like abortion is the best option. Maybe OP doesn’t want to do that? I don’t know, and I’m not gonna assume anything or try to make a comment to push her opinion that direction.
“Hey OP get an abortion” is fine to say but if someone says “hey OP you can also go for adoption if you don’t want to have an abortion” it’s controversial.
Golddntyranitar: I’m not twisting anything. Very few people want abortions to happen.
But abortions happen so they should be safe legal and rare. Hence better birth control and education while making sure young women aren’t bleeding out at their bedside.
Abortion IN THIS CIRCUMSTANCE seems the best for everyone involved including the resulting zygote/fetus. People still wish it wasn’t something to be done; they do not actively want it to happen the way it did.
It’s controversial because people act like being pregnant and giving birth is as easy as taking a shit. “Just adopt them out!” Is ignorant of everything involved
JollyGoodRodgering: > But abortions happen so they should be safe legal and rare
This is the only thing nobody is arguing with. Except the rare part. “Get an abortion” is never a controversial statement on Reddit.
Golddntyranitar: As it shouldn’t. But forcing your views onto women is.
Pretty simple
JollyGoodRodgering: Telling a woman to get an abortion is literally forcing your views onto women lmao, how do you not understand that?
Golddntyranitar: They gave an opinion, not an order.
You need to realize this.
JollyGoodRodgering: Okay, so “get an abortion” is fine because it’s an opinion but “don’t get an abortion” is forcing your view on women.
Thanks for proving my point.
Golddntyranitar: You’re trying really hard to have a problem where there is none.
Keep on struttin’ my pigeon; you haven’t knocked over all the pawns yet…
JollyGoodRodgering: You keep saying forcing *your* views on women is fine but other people doing it isn’t okay lmaooo. And you won’t even admit that’s what it is when your camp does it.
If telling a pregnant woman you think she should not get an abortion is wrong **then it’s also fucking wrong to tell her that she should have an abortion**. Jesus fucking Christ, Reddit. I know you won’t understand this since you’ve repeatedly refused to understand it, but there it is again.
Golddntyranitar: You need to calm down and stop working yourself up.
“You shouldn’t get an abortion, it’s wrong”
Vs
“It’s your choice but I would recommend an abortion given your situation”
| 21 | 449.333333 | |
1674622599 | 1674672751 | t3_10kpww5 | t5_2to41 | 40 | tr14l: Trauma isn't the same as racism. Prejudice, certainly.
But yeah, OP needs to get to therapy or something. I understand trauma, but allowing yourself to shun an entire people is not a healthy response.
thrwayhairbortion: Trauma isn't an excuse for racism, prejudice, or xenophobia.
tr14l: Being scared because of experience and association is a normal, human response. Not working through that with a professional is an immature one. Better qualifies as racism.
thrwayhairbortion: No, being scared of an *entire country of people* because of some unspecified trauma that isn't WWII isn't a normal human response.
It's the response of someone justifying racism.
Maybe you should read the OPs comments before you defend them.
tr14l: You have no idea what the trauma was. For all you know they were held and tortured by the Yakuza for ten years. When you lack information, compassionate accountability is a great approach
thrwayhairbortion: Considering they're a teenager who has never left the country, no, they weren't.
We have a LOT of information suggesting OP is just a terrible person, including their comment that it was okay to mock a disabled child because the mother "should've given it up."
We actually have quite a bit of information suggesting OP is just, in fact, a terrible person.
**And btw, condoning and supporting racism isn't compassion. It's enabling.**
tr14l: I said it was bad and they needed therapy. The difference is my approach they might take seriously, your approach they will just defend and justify. You're the one enabling.
thrwayhairbortion: Lol, what? No, they won't.
There's ZERO evidence that a stranger on Reddit reading this will take you seriously, particularly when they don't think they're doing anything wrong.
Second, I don't have an obligation to make the OP a better person, because guess what?
I'm **more concerned with the *victims of racism* reading this than I am with OPs little racist feelings that you keep trying to justify.**
tr14l: Ok, being a dick about stuff is probably the right approach for results. You're right. I see people being badgered changing all the time.
thrwayhairbortion: It's weird that you're trying to pretend there's an end goal here now because that's the only thing suiting your argument.
It's not my job to try and make racist people change. It's not my obligation or responsibility and it's incredibly racist and sexist of you to suggest otherwise.
**Why do you care more about the feelings of the racist than the victims?**
tr14l: I'm not comparing the worth of humans her. But I'm going to go ahead and disengage with you because you're clearly hurt and wanting others to feel the same. Have a good day, i hope you feel better
thrwayhairbortion: Oh I am.
Racists are worth less. The fact that you're trying to argue for racism is absolutely absurd since you're trying to take the moral high route.
JAT619: Goddamn your moral superiority is gross, just shut up already
thrwayhairbortion: Ah yes, ignoring it when it's inconvenient.
JAT619: No, no, let’s not get this twisted, I’m just saying yours is gross. Take a look around the comments to see if you can find someone with a higher horse. I’ll give you a cookie if you can.
thrwayhairbortion: So what if I'm on a high horse?
What does that have to do with the point?
| 16 | 2.5 | |
1674103518 | 1674108352 | t3_10fsqg2 | t5_2to41 | 17 | smol-dev: TIFU by asking friends if they're awake
This is a story that spans across time, a story that now serves as a lesson on slang. For a while now, I have been sending my friends "u up" when I'm awake and bored. One day, I sent this phrase to a former friend of mine. They had realized that I may not have known what that phrase actually meant, and so they asked if I knew.
Now, my dear redditors, I have the spicy 'tism, so I genuinely thought that I was asking friends if they were awake. Curiosity bested me, and I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. And this is when I realized I had messed up, and hilarity ensued. As it turned out, I had been asking my friends for nudes!
My dear, lovely redditors, let this be a lesson: always Google slang before you use them!
TL;DR: accidentally asked friends for nudes. Oops.
emotionlessturner: I must have the spicy ‘tism too.. or at least the spicy adhd cuz I had no clue that was a thing 😅
UnadvertisedAndroid: U up?
emotionlessturner: 
| 4 | 4.25 | |
1672747250 | 1672793248 | t3_1026c8u | t5_2to41 | 1,689 | Fiery_Hand: TIFU by winning a painting contest
Didn't happen today, but in 2020, during early stages of a covid pandemic.
I \[35M then\] used to work in a travel agency. Travel industry got hit really hard and basically stopped to do anything but finding ways in trying to keep current clients from withdrawing their money. Pretty depressing and I got a little depression, but that's a different story alright.
Anyway, there were companies that facilitated contacts between hotels and local tour operators and travel agencies by organising workshops. As you can imagine, they had even less work than travel agencies.
So one of these workshop companies focused on Malta decided to try to not be forgotten and made a painting contest for employees and their families of travel agencies they worked with. Because I was always on the artistic side and I've tried to fight depression with new hobby, watercolour painting, I've decided to join in. I've made a little painting depicting Mersaxlokk harbour on Malta (link below if you're interested).
And I've won! That felt awesome, but for a very short time. They've announced winners on their Facebook page and apparently there were very few participants consisting only of kids of other travel agencies employees. And me. I've won over 10 year old Tosia, and a bunch of other kids.
I've trampled on kids dreams and as a consequence declined to receive the prize. They've eventually awarded all the contestants with the same prizes, so I've agreed to take mine as well (a set of acrylic paints).
[Mersaxlokk - nothing compared to many of the works here, but still felt like sharing it anyway :) : Watercolor (reddit.com)](https://www.reddit.com/r/Watercolor/comments/gsekr2/mersaxlokk_nothing_compared_to_many_of_the_works/) \- I've published that before the winners were announced.
&#x200B;
TL;DR
I took part in a painting contest aimed at employees and their families, was awarded 1st place and it turned out other competitors were only children, 2nd place was by 10 year old girl Tosia. Beating them felt horrible, declined prize.
Nash_Michaels: I don't know if I am evil or something , but for some reason it is incredibly funny.
Fiery_Hand: It's hilarious and it's a good story for family gatherings etc. especially everyone can then laugh a little at me for kicking kids' butts.
LadyBug_0570: You would've felt like crap if 10 year old Tosia kicked your butt!
Fiery_Hand: Nah dude, you know, I'm 39 tomorrow, I've learned long time ago that comparison leads nowhere and distance to self is very important. If any emotions would have kicked in, I'd be very happy for Tosia for beating an adult. It would be very meaningful for her, hence why I didn't want to take the prize despite being declared winner.
Losing to her and the other kids would be funny it it's own way and I'd still treat this as funny story to tell.
It's not like in some kind of race. And have you seen my work? It's clear I'm just an amateur, I took paints to relax not to add more stress.
LadyBug_0570: Really, I'm just messing with you. You did a great job, both on the painting and how you handled it.
Besides, some kids are really talented little buggers. For example, I would never compete with the kids I've seen on cooking shows. They'd whip my butt.
chmath80: >some kids are really talented little buggers.
Not even kidding. This one's 12, not 10, but even 2 years earlier she was ridiculously good:
https://youtu.be/kzr_dodDuzw
| 7 | 241.285714 | |
1672750685 | 1672782571 | t3_1027k23 | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by Breaking my PS4 after IT expert dumped me
[deleted]
ektat_sgurd: Pay the man !! It won't be a service to an ex anymore, it will be work.
CV2nm: Just be upfront like "I know you hate me, but I will give you money if you fix my PS4 plz, thank you"
Killb0t47: Yeah. Money is money. Ask how much he would charge first.
fuckitsfixed: $420.69
| 5 | 11.6 | |
1674634307 | 1674634927 | t3_10ktovs | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by ordering a sex doll. Should I cancel the order?
[deleted]
DownrightDrewski: Seems a lot of money for what is essentially a large and hard to clean flashlight... I think you've answered your own question.
Suninmyface2020: Fleshlight*
DownrightDrewski: Ah, I love autocorrect...
| 4 | 3 | |
1674634394 | 1674669049 | t3_10ktpl9 | t5_2to41 | 12,253 | Taika_Jameson: TIFU by asking my boyfriend (M28) if he is buff yet.
My boyfriend who is very overweight started working out 2 weeks ago. I've been away celebrating Chinese New Year with my relatives for about a week, and I kept getting snide comments about my boyfriend's appearance and how I could do better the whole time I was with them, which is why my boyfriend's health was on my mind.
I just got back from my hometown. I'm going to visit his family later, so I called him up to confirm the plans and jokingly asked if he had suddenly became more buff in the one week I hadn't seen him. He got really upset and said he hated the fact that I'm putting so much pressure on him when he only just started exercising. I tried to apologize and explain that I didn't mean to pressure him, but was worried that I would hurt his feelings more so I was silent for a bit thinking what to say. He hung up after I apologized, but he was clearly still upset about it.
I have to go to his house later, and I'm not sure what to do now, things feel so awkward.
TL; DR: I hurt my boyfriend's feelings by indirectly calling him fat.
khamelean: “Hey there significant other, missed you heaps, did you suddenly become attractive while I was away?”
Damn…
JayJayGolden: idk man, sounds like a joke id laugh at if i was the other person. we dont know the kinda jokes op and their partner usually make with eachother
ChangingtheSpectrum: Dude, holy shit, yeah either I have thicker skin than I thought, or people are more sensitive than I thought. My initial reading of this was a joke, I couldn't see it as anything else. Like "yeah in two weeks I've become a bodybuilder, I'm ready to be the next Mr. Olympia."
I completely get that boyfriend is sensitive about it, and I understand that, but people are about to deconstruct OP's entire relationship over a joke about something the boyfriend unknowingly had a weak spot for.
NopileosX2: I mean her BF might have been insecure about his body and also maybe needed a lot of willpower to finally start exercising.
Maybe she was not even the first person making a comment about it. I think we all had some encounters where we made decisions to improve something about ourself and received with ironic, snarky comments from other people.
They are never really meant in bad way but can be annoying nonetheless.
A experience a lot of more introverted people share if that they did not like to interact with guesst and parents often were upset about it. But if you actually got out of your comfort zone you were greeted by "Look who also wants to join", "who left his/her cave" (no idea if you would say it english like this tried to translate from my native language.).
It is just you try to make a positive change but you get comments which make kinda a joke out of it in the moment.
These should never be a big problem and it is a bit of overreacting in retrospective but in the moment they annoy you.
I think if someone catches on to it that you did not find it funny a genuine apology is all that someone should need to move on from this.
No need to make any bigger problem out of it.
CyberneticPanda: Unsolicited negative comments about someone's appearance are pretty much always meant in a bad way. Either the speaker knows that, or they have such main character energy that they think they're doing the target a favor by bestowing their wisdom and insight. Like the guy didn't know he was fat or that being fat has negative health consequences. It's like telling a smoker that smoking is bad for them. They already know, Captain Obvious.
ChangingtheSpectrum: Stop being so cringe my guy, "are you buff yet" isn't a negative comment about someone's appearance, it's a regular human joke that regular humans sometimes make, this one just didn't land right. Christ.
CyberneticPanda: >ironic, snarky comments
That you?
Visual_Disaster: It actually wasn't. Check the comments again
CyberneticPanda: I'm on mobile so I can't easily, but that is what I was responding to. Sorry if you find that "cringe."
Visual_Disaster: I'm not sure what you're trying to say. I never said you were cringe. Just pointing out that the person you responded to was not the person you quoted
CyberneticPanda: Lol on mobile I can't see the whole thread. The comment I was responding to when I asked "that you" was calling me cringe because they didn't understand I was responding to the comment I was responding to rather than to OP's accidental insult. I used "that you" as shorthand for "this is what I was responding to" which clearly has saved me a ton of time.
Visual_Disaster: You need to get a better mobile app if you can't see full threads or user names
CyberneticPanda: I'm using the official one. I'm open to suggestions; it sucks. I used to use a different one that stopped working right when reddit out out their own app.
Visual_Disaster: I use Sync. It's good.
CyberneticPanda: I'll check it out, thanks
| 16 | 765.8125 | |
1674636244 | 1674647391 | t3_10ku5do | t5_2to41 | 85 | schlammydummy: TIFU by accidentally texting my ex of 3 years
This fuck up just happened, and I feel like a complete moron.
I work 12 hour overnight shifts from 6pm-6am and it can get pretty boring in the wee morning hours when there’s nothing going on. It’s 3am, I’m scrolling through tiktok, and there’s a trend where people post screenshots of text conversations they’ve had with their ex’s asking themselves why they were with them in the first place. I’m bored, so I decide to (try) and do the same thing. I found a heated conversation I’d had with my ex in 2020. We dated for a little over a year on and off, it was not a healthy relationship, things ended pretty badly and he was the one who broke up with me twice. Anyway, I’m scrolling through the conversation with my ex, thinking about how lucky I am to have my current boyfriend and how grateful I am to be in a healthy relationship after some of the shit I’ve been through… when my phone decides this would be a GREAT time to “emphasize” one of the texts in the middle of the argument. Which of course sends him a notification! At 3am. Have I mentioned we haven’t spoken for 3 years???
Needless to say I panicked, blocked his number, deleted all of our messages, and double checked he’s still blocked on all other forms of social media. I know in the grand scheme of things this is relatively small but I am so mortified right now lmao.
Edit for more context: I did not save our texts purposely. I save every text message I’ve ever received ever, even spam and wrong numbers. I do not ever go through old messages, and when he and I broke up I deleted every photo of him/us, and removed him from all of my social media. He is also the reason I downloaded tiktok and he created my account for me years ago. The conversation in question was how he made plans with me to meet his family for the first time on Christmas, and then forgot about me and didn’t speak to me until the next day, and how I was hurt by this behavior; which he was angry at. If anything good came out of this, I was at least able to see my growth in relationships and never allow myself again to be treated or spoken to the way he did.
TL;DR I tried to do a tiktok trend by screenshotting messages from my shitty ex from 3 years ago, ended up accidentally sending him a text at 3am.
5littlewhitevicodin: TikTok is so toxic
schlammydummy: It really is. Unfortunately when I’m too tired at work to read, play video games, or anything else to fill the slow gaps I just mindlessly scroll.
Empire2k5: Yes cause that's a good reason to use Tictac, and participating in "trends"...
schlammydummy: For what it’s worth, I don’t actually post anything. I save everything as drafts. For me personally, after 3-4 twelve hour overnight shifts in a row sometimes that’s all my brain allows. But it was nice to see my growth and know that I’d never say or do the things I did years ago. So there’s that at least
Empire2k5: And still making excuses for using a shitty app... Yeah I think you're the "toxic" one.
schlammydummy: Yikes man, you’re making assumptions off of one small Reddit post with absolutely no context to the relationship 😂 what’s so funny about that is the ex in question is the one who created my tiktok account for me, and got me into watching videos. Tiktok also shows who views your profile and he checks up on mine every few months, even though like I said, I don’t post anything.
Empire2k5: Now getting defensive...
schlammydummy: Not defensive, but I do think it’s funny how quick people are to make assumptions. I can see why you’d think that based on the very limited info I posted though. I know everyone is different too, but I find cheating on someone a bit more toxic than going through old messages
| 9 | 9.444444 | |
1674636845 | 1674680153 | t3_10kua9z | t5_2to41 | 148 | _Reyne: TIFU by trying to make a grilled cheese sandwich with a clothes iron
[removed]
Devittraisedto2: You do know you were supposed to cover the bread with aluminium foil right
slider728: Huh…never thought of foil. We used to make them with an iron by putting the sandwich in a brown paper bag and then putting the iron in it. Didn’t work too bad.
Devittraisedto2: Tbh I think any material that's safe for food and can handle heat can be used to make ironed toast
Granted, ideally you'd want to use a toaster, but in the event where a toaster and pan is not readily available to you(e.g. in a hotel) and you're really craving some grilled cheese, then yeah a brown paper bag or aluminium foil will grant you the delectable toasty gooey cheese sandwich we all crave for.
AMDKilla: I work in a hotel, I'll be asking you to leave if I find you using a clothes iron inappropriately. Fire is the number one risk in a hotel
PandaNoTrash: I have stayed in many hotels and never have I seen a warning to not make grilled cheese sandwiches with the included iron and ironing board.
AMDKilla: You also dont see warning labels in your car not to run the engine in an enclosed space due to exhaust fumes, or a label on your toaster warnign you not to take a bath with it. Most hotels aren't explicit in every detail of what is against their fire prevention rules unless asked as otherwise there would be signs on everything, that would still be ignored (people wondering why their croissant caught fire when they ignore the signs to not put them in the toaster). Most hotels do not allow guests to use candles or incense in the rooms, and all of them that have electric heaters all ban putting clothes on them due to the fire risk.
PandaNoTrash: I was just having a bit of fun with the warning label meme. I promise not to accidently burn down any hotels!
| 8 | 18.5 | |
1674636970 | 1674664289 | t3_10kuba4 | t5_2to41 | 14 | jus-de-pomme: TIFU by trying to book a flight
UPDATE** Was able to dispute this as fraud, hooray!!!
Hello all, as someone who isn’t very financially comfortable, I am in utter distress. Earlier I was trying to book a flight with Hawaiian airlines and everything went through.. except it didn’t. My money was taken from me but there was a problem with issuing me my tickets. They gave me a phone number to call and I thought it would be an easy fix. I called them, to which they claimed I had a duplicate reservation which was the main problem. Idk how that happened but I was confidently told that they would take care of it. They gave me a confirmation code to use to check my flight and when I used it, I thought it was strange that it brought me right back to the review and purchase page. I told them I already paid for my tickets but they told me I would have to re-purchase them and that I would be getting an “immediate” call from their supervisor to process my refund. I stupidly listened to them and spent another $500, everything looked good this time around except I never received a confirmation email. Hours later I’m still waiting on a supposed call from a supervisor AND a confirmation email, so I call them up and tell them what’s going on. This time the lady who was on call with me assured me that a supervisor would be contacting me as soon as our call ends. Once again I stupidly hang up and yeah, the call never happens. I call them back, at this point I’m tired and stressed out and I just want my money back, except now they’re saying that because my flight is unconfirmed I didn’t pay even though my bank account says otherwise.
So here I am, down 1k with no flight booked, that airline probably had no intention on giving me a refund from the very start. I’m calling my bank tomorrow and I hope I can recover my lost funds, but for now I just wanted a place to rant/vent.
TLDR; spent $500 twice on a flight only for both of them not to go through, my money was already taken from me, airline is claiming i did not pay and lied about giving me a refund
Bigdaddylovesfatties: I had something similar happen to me with Delta. They claimed they didn't receive the money and its just an authorization hold but the bank showed they had yanked it
No ticket no money but a few days later it came back. I was pissed.
jus-de-pomme: Currently pissed right now! Did you contact your bank about it at all?
Bigdaddylovesfatties: Yeah they said they couldn't do anything on their end until the hold cleared
| 4 | 3.5 | |
1672754089 | 1672811618 | t3_1028uao | t5_2to41 | 1,958 | thraauntuncomfy: TIFU by making my aunt uncomfortable for years
TIFU by realising I've been making my aunt uncomfortable for years.
Didn't happen today, it was stuff I did as a kid, using a throwaway account.
I (16m) have an aunt (3?f), who comes around to my grandparents place a lot.
A bit of background: My parents are separated so when I was young I spent a lot of time at my grandparents house. When I was around 5 my aunt showed up and was generally around for holidays and came over for dinner at my grandparents a couple times a month.
Now my aunt isn't actually related to my grandparents, apparently they just took care of her when she was young. My mom mentioned that my aunt went through a lot of stuff and it's part of the TIFU stuff.
For some reason it never really clicked for me until today, but my aunt has a lot of scars on her arms and one on her face, and the ones on her arms were all webby like burns, but some of them were clearly deep cuts. As a kid me and my sister, (mostly me) would ask her about where the scars came from.
Usually it would come up when we were playing and her sleeves would get rolled up and I would ask her about it constantly for the rest of the night. My mom usually told me to stop and that it was a sensitive topic while my aunt and grandparents would get all quite. I would still ask when my mom was busy and we were in the living room.
I kinda forgot about it for a while but for some reason the realisation hit me today about those scars and why things would get awkward when I asked about them.
I feel like an asshole about it, and I'm not sure what to say to my aunt when I see her again. I saw her over Christmas and that might be why I suddenly thought of it today. She's always very nice to my sister and I and always brings us stockings full of stuff on Christmas and birthdays gifts and stuff.
I feel like I should apologize but it would be awkward bringing it up.
TLDR: I used to bother my aunt about the scars on her arms when I was a kid and the realisation of where they came from hit me today, and now I feel like an asshole.
PracticeAsleep: Consider this. Instead of trying to apologize for something you were unaware of, tell your aunt how much you appreciate all she has done for you and what a beautiful person she is. If this opens up the conversation where she asks where this comes from, you can tell her you realize what a jerk you were asking personal questions when you were young and you appreciate the fact that she handled it so graciously. You don't need to be asking any other questions beyond that and if she wishes to open up and talk to you then just sit back and listen. Good luck
ViciousAssKoala: I think this is the best apportionment I've read
RandymMartel54: >apportionment
wat
ViciousAssKoala: I ment approach but my phone hates me and I failed to spell check lol
reeniex: i thought it was a fancy word i didn't know
Harry_Gorilla: Perceptionalitude!
| 7 | 279.714286 | |
1674653547 | 1674702501 | t3_10kxe0r | t5_2to41 | 94 | humboldt77: THIS. Build your budget around flying out to see her every couple months. Use travel sites like kayak, hopper, Scottscheapflights. Long distance is hard, but it can work. You two were compatible as roommates, had chemistry, want each other - you’ve already done a test run at a relationship, make it happen!
Haquestions4: Great for love, a disaster for the planet.
humboldt77: You sound fun.
Haquestions4: Not comfortable with facts?
S1xE: 100 companies of this world destroy the planet more than 1 billion people can
Fuck the planet in this case if it means two human can find love in each other lmao. The ship has already sank anyways. Get China and Murica to stop destroying our planet and then tell others to stop flying to their loved ones lmao
Official Reddit moment
Haquestions4: Because companies just produce for the sake of producing, right? It's not because those one billion people buy stuff.
It's also the airlines fault for selling tickets, it's not the people who fly.
Always the others...
noahisunbeatable: Companies with billions of pure profit, profit that they do not choose to invest into green/clean initiatives.
Many actually do the opposite - investing instead in lobbying the government to stop climate legislation. So no, corporations aren’t blameless or merely representations of individual consumer practices.
Haquestions4: >So no, corporations aren’t blameless or merely representations of individual consumer practices.
I didn't say that. But you and me are also not blameless. Far from it. Without corporations we'd still use resources, but without customers there'd be no corporations.
Pointing that out isn't giving big oil a pass.
noahisunbeatable: Yoyr initial statement was exaggerated. A single person taking a flight a couple times a year isn’t a ‘disaster’ for the environment. Plus, its futile and entirely unrealistic to expect people to *stop* taking flights because it hurts the environment. Worse than futile, because it implies the idea of being environmentally conscious means huge personal sacrifice, which not many are prepared to do.
What isn’t futile is the regulation of corporations. Making their products and services cost less in co2. Thats effective change, not guilting people into not seeing their SO overseas.
Haquestions4: Not flying multiple times a year between the US and the UK isn't huge personal sacrifice. Do you know how much co2 a return flight from New York to London produces? 1.8 tons. That's more than what your car produces during your daily commute. It's more than what hundreds of millions of people produce *in total* in a year.
And you want to do that multiple times a year?
>What isn’t futile is the regulation of corporations.
Again, I agree, so please drop that argument. I am not disagreeing.
But what's also not futile is telling people what their literal jet lifestyle means for the environment.
noahisunbeatable: > Not flying multiple times a year between the US and the UK isn't huge personal sacrifice.
The 'why' is crucial. Everyone's priorities are different, but I consider seeing an SO in a LD relationship very important. Therefore, I consider not doing that a huge sacrifice.
You've ignored my main criticism of your perspective in this response. Trying to convince people not to fly for reasons they find important at a significant scale is *futile.* There is a reason why corporations invest so heavily in the personal responsibility framing - it *does not, will not* work. They count on that.
So all you're doing is making people feel shitty for doing things important to them, that doesn't change minds or the world.
> literal jet lifestyle
Give me a break. Jet lifestyle? He isn't out here like elon musk bro.
Haquestions4: >Everyone's priorities are different
Your priorities don't matter for how much co2 something produces. Is seeing your former roommate more important than people's livelihoods? Is it more important than protecting the environment we all share?
>Trying to convince people not to fly for reasons they find important at a significant scale is *futile.*
With people not taking personal accountability because it interferes with their luxurious life? Yes, it is. It doesn't make it wrong what I am saying though.
>So all you're doing is making people feel shitty for doing things important to them,
The consequences of one's actions can be hard to stomach. Especially when it comes with taking personal accountability. It's of course much easier to deflect and point at others, as we can see happening here.
>Give me a break. Jet lifestyle?
If you look up the definition of jet set lifestyle you'll see that it perfectly fits with somebody flying across the Atlantic to enjoy themself
noahisunbeatable: > Your priorities don’t matter
> Is seeing your former roommate more important than people’s livelihoods?
What point are you even making? First you argue that personal priorities don’t matter, but the literal next sentence implies they do in fact matter, and that we simply have the wrong priorities.
The second sentence betrays you *know* your perspective isn’t convincing. You and I both know that he would be visiting his girlfriend, not simply his “former roomate”. Furthermore, you overstate the damage caused by a single person’s occasional flights. Its small fractions of peoples livelihoods we’re talking about. Important no question, but overstated by you.
So you had to understate the sacrifice and overstate the damage in order to make that statement. Because “Is seeing your love more important than making other peoples lives fractionally worse?” would be far more controversial.
> It doesn’t make it wrong what I am saying though.
So why do you say it? You know it doesn’t work, you know its parroting the talking points of you corporations you identify as a problem. Is it self righteousness?
> their luxurious life
portraying seeing your love as a “luxury” does more damage than good. As I explained, conflating huge personal sacrifice with environmental conciousness does more harm than good. It makes otherwise thoughtful people, who aren’t prepared to give up things like love, jaded and apathetic.
Haquestions4: >you argue that personal priorities don’t matter,
They don't matter for how much co2 you produce by flying. Could have worded that better.
>The second sentence betrays you *know* your perspective isn’t convincing.
I have said that multiple times. People don't want to take personal responsibility, it's others people's fault, not theirs.
>So you had to understate the sacrifice and overstate the damage in order to make that statement. Because “Is seeing your love more important than making other peoples lives fractionally worse?” would be far more controversial.
Are you actually saying that making millions of people's life's worse, by your own admission, even if it is only fractionally, is ok?
>So why do you say it? You know it doesn’t work, you know its parroting the talking points of you corporations you identify as a problem. Is it self righteousness?
It's not influencing you. You probably like to travel and don't want to give up your jet set lifestyle just so that some poor people across the globe can have it fractionally better. But that doesn't mean somebody else doesn't realize how much co2 flying around the world produces.
>portraying seeing your love as a “luxury” does more damage than good.
It *is* luxurious to fly around the world. It doesn't matter why you do it.
noahisunbeatable: > Are you actually saying that making millions of people’s life’s worse, by your own admission, even if it is only fractionally, is ok?
Yes, and you do to. Your device contributes to climate change. It also fractionally makes millions of people’s lives worse. Of course the scale is different between flying and a device, but its a fact no matter the scale. Everyone is okay with making other people’s lives fractionally worse.
> You probably like to travel and don’t want to give up your jet set lifestyle just so that some poor people across the globe can have it fractionally better.
Man, I fucking hate traveling. Its a whole lot of effort that isn’t worth it to me. Last time I flew is when I was forced out to visit family, years ago. You also didn’t answer my question. Knowing it does nothing, *why do you say it*.
> It is luxurious to fly around the world. It doesn’t matter why you do it.
Luxury is relative. Hor water is a luxury to billions of people, and an requirement of modern like for others. Just like you couldn’t convince people on masse to give up hot water, you can’t convince people to give up flying. I know you know this, so why do you continue to try to convince people? What other motive do you have?
Haquestions4: >Your device contributes to climate change
True. Which is why I haven't changed my device in five years. According to Apple a phone accounts for 69kg. Three flights a year for five years clocks in at 27t of co2. So a factor of 0.0026. And you need a phone for work, you don't need an ltr UK US
>Knowing it does nothing, *why do you say it*.
Please go back to my previous comment, I answered that.
>Just like you couldn’t convince people on masse to give up hot water, you can’t convince people to give up flying.
Hot water is necessary, flying isn't.
>What other motive do you have?
Other motives? You mean my big oil paycheck?
noahisunbeatable: > True. Which is why I haven't changed my device in five years.
Completely irrelevant. As I said, its not about the *scale*, its about the fact you are implicitly accepting making millions of lives fractionally worse. What fraction was never up for debate, nor does it matter for the point I was making. Which was that your answer to your *own* question, restated below, is unequivocally **yes**.
> Are you actually saying that making millions of people’s life’s worse, by your own admission, even if it is only fractionally, is ok?
> Please go back to my previous comment, I answered that.
You did not. You explained that your reason is you assume people are ignorant, and you're simply 'educating' them. Which is obviously not the whole story. Its clear you want people to also not do those things - you're (at least superficially) promoting your ideology. Nothing inherently wrong with that, simply pointing out your motives are not purely educational. So what drives you to comment?
> Hot water is necessary, flying isn't.
You can live without hot water, its not necessary for basic survival. Hot water, (especially one provided by a central service), is a luxury of modern life. A luxury that only *feels* necessary due to quality of living standards.
> Other motives? You mean my big oil paycheck?
God no. I just think you're a self righteous prick more interested in feeling personally morally superior than actually making a convincing argument for climate consciousness. But again, I could be wrong, which is why I'm asking why.
| 17 | 5.529412 | |
1674650039 | 1674716242 | t3_10kxlto | t5_2to41 | 49 | [deleted]: TIFU by posting a dumb joke while high on reddit
[deleted]
monstblitz: Mods are like cops. Some of them do it for the right reasons, others do it because they were bullied in high school and want some authority.
WhatWasThatYouSaid41: # For the record, OP is lying:
https://preview.redd.it/5kyl6xlh9aea1.jpeg?width=840&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=1cd7e1f14d7b837e908a91c631995b22fb0391a0
That is the full exchange between the mod team and OP. No one called OP a "toxic fucking idiot" or " paint \[them\] as a cruel jerk for daring to writing them about this ".
OP may still be high while on Reddit.
Fix_a_Fix: >No one called OP a "toxic fucking idiot" or a cruel jerk
&#x200B;
>"None of which are good contributions" (fucking dishonest lie, considering my post got praises and sparked very good conversations. At the very least it was highly subjective, but if subjectivity is all it takes for a permaban you're still horrible mods on a powertrip)
>
>"you made it clear you are too toxic and you're not welcome back" literally after asking why
Dude couldn't even read the image they posted. Or maybe Couldn't just understand what THEY wrote? I don't know man, not a single one of your phrases in the reply is one of a decent person that isn't powertripping. I asked why I was given the harshest possible punishment for 3 words and got accused of being a toxic dude and muted. "aboundantly clear" lol. Apparently all it took was even doubting that the mod in question wasn't morally superior to me in every possible way?
Like please I actually legit beg you, treat me like an actual 5 years old and try to explain to me as plainly as you're able to HOW your thought process went, WHY it was decided that the appropriate response was a permaban (again, the worst punishment you're allowed to give with your powers) despite no one having seen it, downvoted/upvoted it or even commented it. Also since you do seem very sure about who is right and wrong it would fairly easy to also explain where i was being too toxic for your community. And apparently also deserved to be insulted for my contributions despite having very little to do at the matter at hand, and therefore making it literally a gratuitous insult. I don't know man, in that exchange the mod that wrote me sounds like the toxic piece of shit, but hey I don't have the powers you have in that community so that ***must*** mean you are always righter than me and morally superior than me, right?
&#x200B;
&#x200B;
By the way, appreciate you living by your fucking cowardly standards nonstop. First you mute right after bitching, as if you ran away scared after throwing your stone, and then you comment as a reply of a thread instead of replying to the whole post. Guessing you decided to lack integrity all the way? Cool. Still haven't replied one single fucking time as in WHY AND HOW a 3 worded joke that no one even saw or commented on deserved a permaban, but i'm sure there is a great well thought perfectly elaborated reason behind that isn't just a powertripping dude abusing their powers, right? I mean if that were the case the mod would also have ran away from any possible conversation chances, right?
&#x200B;
EDIT: I can see from mod's name length that it wasn't you and you're just shielding your power tripping jerk of a buddy for some comradery. It's alright, I guess it's like a horrible cop and every other cop doing absolutely nothing to even dare to say something to the asshole.
WhatWasThatYouSaid41: I think the best course of action would be to review this entire experience you have had, from the moment you self-identified yourself "fucking up" until right now, with a mental health professional. The process of doing that may be incredibly enlightening and provide you with a lot of comfort and growth.
Fix_a_Fix: By the way this has to be the most average thing a power tripping shitty mod could possibly write lmao. Like didn't even tried to hide his nature here, just had to show it to all of us. Good to see you out and proud here buddy.
Maybe consider talking with a therapist yourself lol, I'm absolutely certain your ego, any user of the sub and about any person in your social circle would appreciate that immensely
WhatWasThatYouSaid41: &#x200B;
https://preview.redd.it/wa9oowu66bea1.png?width=619&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=6a0afeb02b5b47741d1eaf0b2a1d8fc1188462c6
Fix_a_Fix: The best part is that now there are 3 of you morons writing me at the same time and still somehow none of you can manage to write anything non completely stupid and pathetically low effort. I mean don't get me wrong I still love you for creating an alt account and at least giving some burns at the beginning, but damn after this, u/maciver6969 and u/flazooni and the other weirdo i blocked I can barely feel anything now lol, almost like after finishing a trip of MDMA.
Wild. Oh well I'm turning off notifications since all of you, especially the pathetic excuse of a mod, proved to be a failure and provided absolutely nothing. Cya noobs
maciver6969: Does that mean you plan on shutting up finally? GREAT NEWS
Fix_a_Fix: If you don't say it with your alt accounts it's not the same cmon buddy
Also, why do you act like a lion on public comments but on DM you're literally constantly crying and begging me to be kinder?
| 10 | 4.9 | |
1672755953 | 1672940274 | t3_1029icg | t5_2to41 | 18 | Traditional-Olive804: TIFU because I was too excited for my gift…
I’m incredibly selfish and spoiled.
I’ve been wanting a new flute for a while but musical instruments are quite expensive in general.
It all started when my dad suggested that I was allowed to choose a birthday gift within a certain budget.
Although a flute is over that budget, I still managed to convince him to consider it. It’s the only thing I want.
He then bought the flute the next day and now it was time to wait for the package to come.
He says that my current flute is already good enough and doesn’t see a reason to upgrade but I’ve been playing for years and my teacher strongly suggested an upgrade at my skill level. My dad believes that I am below intermediate and doesn’t believe in grading.
He wanted to go to a music store to check up on my current flute and fix whatever “problem” it had so it was good as new and I wouldn’t need to change my flute.
I understand that he wasn’t really keen on the idea of me getting a new flute because he was worried I would get bored of flute.
I refused to go to the music store because I was desperate for a new flute.
We eventually agreed on selling my current flute and listed it on a website.
When the flute package came, I was so excited. My dad wasn’t home. I just couldn’t wait to see it so I impulsively ripped some parts of the packaging so I could see the outside of the box. Admittedly, I took a peek inside but whatever I touched, I put back exactly where it was.
I was so absorbed, I forgot to message him about the package.
When he came home, he saw the opened package and was pissed.
My bad attitude pushed him into returning the flute. I only care about myself and I didn’t stop to think that the package was technically his.
I accepted that I wasn’t ever going to be able convince him to not return the flute which he took as me not taking him seriously and it made the situation worse. My parents fought because of me.
He took my current flute off the website so I could continue using it.
If only I had just controlled myself, I would’ve actually gotten a new flute but I missed out on something I wanted desperately, all because I’m selfish. I offered to pay the shipping for the return.
Now it’s time for me to save up but since I’m young, it might take a while
TL;DR
I opened a package that wasn’t mine and now I face the consequences (my birthday gift gets returned back to the store)
gimme_chaos: I'm sorry for you, your dad sounds like an AH unless I'm missing something. Not your fault.
jennimackenzie: You are listening to one side of a story told by a child. You are definitely missing something and jumping to the conclusion that the dad is an asshole is very unfair.
Safe-Celebration-220: I think it’s unfair to assume that the dad is not an asshole. This kid was not at all trying to make his dad look bad, if anything he was defending his dad’s actions. This kid is obviously not trying to make his dad look bad, therefore we can assume that if anything, the dad was actually being just as bad as OP says or being worse. Do you think this kid is trying to make his dad look bad and then trying to defend his dad at the same time? That’s just crazy. The defense of only having one side of the story only works if both party’s are of opposite beliefs. In this case the dad and the kid are in agreement on the idea that the dad is not an asshole. Looking at this from an outside perspective, we can see that the dad is an ass hole. What kind of parent do you have to be to make your child feel like a selfish piece of shit for a childish mistake. This kid is beating himself up so much for something so small. He even accepted his mistake and accepted the consequences of his actions and did not at all argue with his dad on wether or not the dad should send the flute back. Do you know what the dad did after that? Do you know what the dad did after his son admitted he was wrong and accepted that he couldn’t get the flute? The dad got mad at him for not taking him seriously. This dad is an asshole it’s blairingly obvious. This kid is beating himself up for something so small. He is trying so hard to make himself look like a little brat and trying so hard to make the dad look good but when you see the dad being an asshole from the perspective of a child who thinks so greatly of his dad and you say that we only have one side of the story? Yes we have one side of the story and that side of the story is in defense of the dad.
jennimackenzie: You are having to make assumptions to make your point.
We just don’t have all the information. Again, this is just one side of the story told by the child.
Let’s make a different assumption: The family does not have the money for a new flute right now. Mom and dad are fighting because of the financial stress, not about the flute, and definitely not about the child.
Is the dad still an asshole? Would the child understand the situation fully?
Birthday gift within a certain budget.
Gift is over budget, but dad orders it. Immediately after starts worrying about the cost and needs to sell current flute. Very stressed, but trying his best for his child.
Child makes a mistake, dad overreacts due in part to the financial stress and the stress/disappointment/shame of not being able to give his child everything he wants to be able to give them. He just washes his hands of it all.
Still an asshole?
Lord_Swaglington_III: “He just washes his hands of it all?” You’re just saying if someone is an asshole but then says forget about it they suddenly weren’t an asshole in that situation. You can’t just wash your hands of it. That’s the opposite of the good thing to do; sometimes you have to take responsibility. You can make and argue a hypothetical, but the key in a hypothetical is that it’s different. Sure, if you remove the fact that the dad is insulting the kids skill level and interest, the fact that the kid’s tone is that of someone who obviously isn’t as “incredibly selfish and spoiled” as he’s apparently internalized, the fact that the thing the dad threw a tantrum over was opening a box, or the fact that the reason he calls himself selfish is because he thinks his parents are fighting because of him, then maybe his dad wouldn’t be in the wrong, but that’s not what happened here.
Life is grey, but the dad here is the one acting like a child, not the actual child. If life was black and white, that’s the only chance I see of this not being the dad’s fuckup, so I think you got your wires crossed somewhere. If life was black and white we could say “he’s your father his word goes” or “his house his rules.” In reality we can recognize that this kid did nothing wrong, really, and now has to pay for it and continue being insulted and called selfish on top of the insults to his skill level and interest in the instrument. In reality we can see that the dad just doesn’t like the flute or doesn’t like his kid and is making his kid feel like shit so he can feel ok about punishing him for having a different hobby.
jennimackenzie: Are you saying it’s fair to sum up someone’s entire personality by one story told by their child on an anonymous Internet forum?
Gimme a break.
Lord_Swaglington_III: Sorry, I edited my previous comment with more explanation if you’d like to see my reasoning. But no, I don’t think one story told by the child can tell you anything but the child’s viewpoint of what happened; and here, the events of the story don’t jive with the kid’s reaction to it. Everything they said about themself was negative, and they try to portray their dad positively and sympathetically; even him insulting the kid is downplayed. I think any kid with that personality is clearly that way for a reason, and I see a pretty clear reason right here. And sure, I don’t think the dad is always necessarily a villain, but cmon, in this story he’s the asshole for sure.
jennimackenzie: Ok. So you are arguing against my hypothetical? You are saying I’m wrong about an imagined situation, that I entirely created in my head? Fair.
But, my point was that we have no clue about the entirety of the story. Likely the child doesn’t either. What we have is a child’s perception.
To judge a person is bad enough, but to just conclude that this man is an asshole from this post, or even this one interaction, is absurd.
There are plenty of reasons why the dad would set a budget, break his own budget, become really concerned about value, and eventually return the flute. Especially during this economic boom. I just don’t think “He’s just an asshole” is the best fit.
Lord_Swaglington_III: I know your point; I’m saying that your point doesn’t mean much in the fathers favor. Sure, I am aware he has other reasons for doing this. They have financial problems. But yes, it’s an asshole thing to do to blame your kid, call them selfish and spoiled, and insult them because you have financial problems. You can’t just displace your anger about your money problems onto an innocent party.
jennimackenzie: An asshole thing to do is much different than being an asshole. People aren’t always at their best under stress.
Let me ask you this, did the dad later have a private conversation with his wife about how he really blew that one, and he feels absolutely terrible, and how can I fix this?
Is he currently making a plan to make it up or apologize to the kid?
Edit: to be fair, this guy could be the biggest piece of shit in the world. We just can’t tell from this post. That makes it unfair to make the assumption in my mind. I know it’s Reddit and it’s just proper to say “fuck that other person your complaining about! They are the worst, and you need to cut them out of your life!”. But, Reddit isn’t reality.
Edit 2: Also, a bunch of strangers telling him his father is a piece of shit with this little information is extremely hard to justify, and is definitely not helping the kid.
| 11 | 1.636364 | |
1674654335 | 1674668544 | t3_10kyycu | t5_2to41 | 20 | Rodrigo_B_Ramos: TIFU by not getting A+ in math, ended up in a fight with 4 people.
That actually happened years ago when I was in High School. I'm also not a native english speaker.
For some context, in my country the average height of a fully grow male is around 5'5 feet tall, I had 15/16 years and 6'1 at the time. the other guys had between 5'1 and 5'5 and the same age. Also I was the kid who did all sports possible, being part of a lot of sports clubs in school such as swimming club , karate club, football (soccer) club, etc. Can't say that I was Ripped, But I wasn't fat at all and weighed around 190 pounds, So summing up I was big. with all that you would think that I would be one of the popular kids, but the reality was that I was as ugly as a newborn owl and acted like a nerd.
Now to the history:
It was the end of the school year and I already had passed all classes so I was not putting that much effort in homework, tests, exams, etc. The final exams were approching but I already had an A- in math without taking the exam, so I didn't studied for it and focused on another subject that I wanted to get a better grade. The thing is, one of my "colleages" that sat on my side needed to get an A+ to not fail, and during the exam he cheated and copied my answers without my knowledge. Since I had not studied, I ended up with a B+ and so did he and for some reason he went to confront me about that, when I said it was not my problem and he was the one that decided to use my exam to cheat instead of study I had nothing to do for him. I believed that was the end of it, but man I was wrong.
The dude planned a revenge for me, and started a fake rumor that I was a creepy that had photos of a popular girl that was in our class while she was in the bathroom, like wtf? turns out that the rumor reached her boyfriend, who was a rich kid from a class next door. He got mad and went to confront me with other 3 friends who were bullies at the time.
Note here, I wasn't aware of the rumors up to that point.
He came to me yelling and pushed me against the wall holding my jacket while the other dudes surrounded me, and while I wasn't understanding what was going on, I heard he saying tha I had photos of his GF in my phone, so the first though was to pick the phone, a brand new one that my mom had got me, to show him that I didn't. When I did it and took it out of my pocket saying "no man, I have nothing, you can take a look if you wan..." He tossed my phone on the floor and broke the screen. My brand new phone. I lost it, punched him with everything I got and started to fight all of them at once. Now don't get me wrong here, I did receive a lot of punches and got some injuries that took a good time to heal, but man I went full berserker and beated them so much before the teachers came to stop us. But there is a happy ending, after we went to the director, while my phone had broken the screen it was still working, so I showed my gallery, proving that I was innocent and that it was a fake rumor after all, the dude who started it got expelled in exchange of not getting any charges, and I became friends with the bullies who of course apologised to me after all.
TL; DR: Guy copied my exam hoping to get A+, failed, got mad and spread rumors of me to the point that I ended up fighting 4 people, in the end he got expelled and I became friends with the 4 dudes.
Ben_Thar: If I had a nickel for every time this happened to me...
FemaleDogEqualsBitch: I’d have no nickels!
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1674655489 | 1674679821 | t3_10kzcy8 | t5_2to41 | -11 | No-Replacement-5698: TIFU By Accidentally Dropping My Tamagotchi In The Toilet
So it all started this morning. I got out of bed, ate breakfast, and got dressed. After a few minutes, I got a really bad stomach cramp. I immediately went to the bathroom, forgetting I still had my tamagotchi in my pocket. He had been beeping all morning and I was struggling to get him to stop. I sat down on the toilet and started doing my business when.. Splash! I heard something fall into the toilet. When I peaked inside, there was my tamagotchi, swimming around in the water.
I took him out as soon as I could and tried to fix him. He had only been in there for a few seconds so I put him near the heater to dry. I wrapped a towel around him, hoping that would dry him faster. Nothing worked. His screen was completely turned off.
I can't believe this happened and for some reason I can't stop crying about it. I know it sounds lame but that thing was my best friend. I already had a death scare with him 2 days ago, but it looks like he's really dead now. I just don't know what to do.
TL;DR: I accidentally dropped my tamagotchi in the toilet and now I can't stop crying.
Maniac2112: You need therapy.
No-Replacement-5698: Why?
Maniac2112: For considering a 30yr old electronic animal as your best friend.
No-Replacement-5698: Do you have friends?
Maniac2112: Yep. You should try it.
No-Replacement-5698: I'm surprised you have friends. I'm going to an anti bullying assemblee right now. Maybe you should go. You'll probably learn a thing or 2.
pbmadman: You should tell this story and read the comments out in your anti-bullying assembly and ask if it is a good example of bullying. I always enjoy this random Reddit tiffs and that feels like such a fun conclusion to this one.
No-Replacement-5698: Oh you have no idea how bad I wanted to do that, but I'm a good student so no way.
pbmadman: Ah sorry, apparently my subtle sarcasm didn’t come through.
Considering an electronic novelty your best friend isn’t perhaps the healthiest adaptation and could maybe point to some other difficulties you are facing in life and maybe it’s a good idea for you to try and get some help. There’s no shame or judgement and certainly not bullying involved in that idea.
Best of luck OP!
No-Replacement-5698: Oh. I get it now. I know it can come off as weird to consider a toy my best friend but the thing is I've always found it hard to talk to people. The therapy thing wasn't the part I considered bullying but the thing the person said when I asked them if they had friends hurt a little because I already know it's not something I'm good at. Sorry if I'm not making much sense.
pbmadman: You are making sense and it’s ok. I just completely disagree that suggesting you to try friends is in any way bullying. The “yep” really indicates a light tone. One could reasonably argue that you saying you are surprised they have friends is much ruder.
Just because something hurts doesn’t make it bullying. I’m sorry you have a difficult time with other people and making friends. It’s really worth continuing to try and get better at. It’s a skill that is possible to develop. Some people have a much easier time of it and others have a much more difficult time of it. I’ve learned I’m good at meeting new people and starting a friendship but then very bad at maintaining friendships for any length of time. It takes a lot of intentionality and mental effort on my part to do it. But it’s ok, I keep focusing on improving.
My oldest son is autistic and it’s been difficult for him to make friends, especially with kids his own age. I practice having social interactions with him and have to work through subtlety and emotional and nonverbal cues with him, it’s a massive struggle for him and does not come naturally at all. He’s worked with psychotherapists and behavioral therapists and it’s helped him immensely. I also noticed that his anxiety made his ADHD and ODD much more severe and asked his doctor about anxiety medication. It was a huge help for him. All this to say, you may really want to seek professional help as there can be a lot of underlying differences that make socializing much more difficult for you than others, and treating or addressing those underlying issues may radically change your experiences.
No-Replacement-5698: Wow. Now that I think about it you're right. I guess I was just in a bad mood because I got yelled at this morning for dropping the thing in the toilet because according to my grandparents, "That costs money and you have to be more careful!" even after I told them it was an accident and it would never happen again. I'm sorry for taking that out on other people. It wasn't fair.
| 13 | -0.846154 | |
1674655982 | 1674661842 | t3_10kzj9h | t5_2to41 | 58 | urbeing2loud: TIFU by over sharing at work
I feel so stupid right now.
Background: my brother is trying to change jobs (and succeeding it most likely this week, but there’s always that 1% that could go wrong) because his current work is a toxic environment.
Someone from my department who I barely speak to said she was talking to her best friend and my country’s name came up, so they both said they knew someone from that nationality. It turns out it was me and my brother. Her best friend is the HR at his company.
I was positively surprised when I heard that. My brother sits right next to this HR person and has always said great things about her. For some stupid reason I thought they were friends. He has mentioned some personal things he’s shared with her, and she’s had helped him with some medical things.
After showering the HR person with compliments, I asked if she said anything about him or the company, and added he might not be a good fit there. My coworker said her friend never talks about the company, and that’s just the way she’s been trained. I said something like “that makes sense, one of the reasons he has a hard time there is because he’s just a more open person”, and we left at that.
Needless to say, he’s furious at me. He said she will go straight to the CEO with that.
I was so shocked, I thought they were friends but apparently he doesn’t share his issues about the company with her. He said she’s HR first and foremost, not his friend (again, so stupid). I apologized and apologized, and still feel super bad.
Now he feels extra pressure to finalize this other job recruitment asap.
After he calmed down a bit he said it wasn’t so bad because I only talked about him, no one else, and he’s fine being seen as “not a good fit” because they probably know that already. He was just trying to be nice I think.
I just feel like such an idiot. I won’t sleep until he signs with this new company. It will be a long week.
TL:DR. I told my coworker who is my brother’s HR’s best friend he might not be a good fit at his company
BernieEcclestoned: Is he changing jobs or changing company? If he's moving company, no big deal.
Also, if he's at a company where being seen as an open person is seen as a negative, you've not fucked up, he's better off out of there.
Spektra54: The point is if his other company oportunity fails and he gets fired then he is jobless. That is what they are worried about. If he gets the other job no big deal. But being jobless can really suck depending on the industry.
BernieEcclestoned: I'd like to see that exit interview.
'let me get this straight, you're firing me for being too honest and open? See you in court, or shall we settle now?'
Spektra54: There are places with at will employment so he can be fired for pretty much any reason. Also they can say no he bad mouthed the company.
BernieEcclestoned: That's why we have labour laws.
Spektra54: Okay lets say that happens. Not a lot of people are gonna be willing to fight a long and expensive legal battle. But you can spin it however you want. They can just start treating him poorly. And those things are hard to prove.
BernieEcclestoned: Yep, I've managed people out before. It takes months though, you can't just fire someone for something their friend has told them.
And a lawyer would be very interested in a long and expensive lawsuit, and would do it for no win, no fee as well.
| 8 | 7.25 | |
1672759428 | 1673768725 | t3_102atbj | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with my ex
[deleted]
joemoorcarz: What does khs man?
psychotic_catalyst: Kill himself
joemoorcarz: Thanks
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1674658779 | 1674761423 | t3_10l0khe | t5_2to41 | 18 | Zyrocks: TIFU by trying to close my roomates door.
I live in the first floor of a two story house. On the top floor, my roomate lives with her couple. I rarely go upstairs because, well I have no business there. Last week they called me up and I accidently left a card that I needed today. I should mention that for around 6 weeks, they've both been leaving the house at 7:30am together. So today I waited until I heard their car drive off to go upstairs for my card. I wanted to do it quick becuase it feels wierd being up there so I went with just my undies, didn't bother changing. As I was walking up the stairs, I noticed they left their door open which they never do (I know this becuase they gave me their reasons to always keeping our doors closed). So I decided to close it for them. This is the fuck up. As I go and step in their room to go for the door handle I hear a sound in the room and freeze trying to figure out what it was. I stare at the entire room and suddenly see 2 eyeballs staring right at me hidden under some blankets. I scream in terror "Holy sht" as I was expecting noone to be there. She laughs and covers herself up. I go "Sorry wrong room" and leave downstairs without 1.closing her door and 2.getting my card.
I'm honestly thinking that they're going to think I'm a creep and was gonna go through their stuff :/ Wish me luck tonight when I see them.
tl;dr: Thought my roomates weren't home, I thought they left their door open and was going to close it only to see there was a person in there and I felt like a creep.
manofwar26: I think this is easily explained OP. Your card is in their apartment so it's fairly conceivable that that's why you were there. The fact that they laughed is a good sign-if they genuinely thought in the moment you were creepin then I doubt they would have laughed.
I would just speak with them as soon as possible and clear the air. You can say you were taken aback when you saw the door open and got concerned and were gonna close it.
Tbh though, in future if something like this happens you should definitely tell them first before going up, either text or ring. If you know they get up at half 7, ring them then! That was where you fucked up. Because, yes if they were or are less understanding people, they could complain. It's their private space, after all.
Akairichii: >Tbh though, in future if something like this happens you should definitely tell them first before going up, either text or ring.
| 3 | 6 | |
1674659662 | 1674662771 | t3_10l0x0w | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by possibly showing my dad my vibrator
[deleted]
ClassBShareHolder: As a father, I’d rather my daughter have a healthy sexual relationship with herself than an unhealthy one with a partner, or worse, random partners.
I wouldn’t be concerned. If he asks, tell him it’s your led emergency flashlight!
Plantsandcats1: Thanks! That's how I think as well. With my dad it's more that he's quite a perv so it's not so much his judgement that I'm uncomfortable with.
As for the flashlight excuse, it's a rabbit vibrator so it's a strange shape for a flashlight unfortunately.
ClassBShareHolder: That’s fair. I’m familiar with the rabbit but I don’t know if I’d be able to identify it in a moving video on my phone screen. Especially if I wasn’t looking. Could have been underwear thrown on the bed and not put in the laundry.
Honestly, he may not have even been paying attention.
| 4 | 11.25 | |
1674660392 | 1674718945 | t3_10l17ks | t5_2to41 | 18 | ThrowingAnxiety: TIFU by not being able to come during my first time
Technically this didn't happen today, this happened over the span of the last three months. But hey, today was the day where it all culminated in a glorious finale.
&#x200B;
A few basics first; I am a college freshman who just moved out of his parents' home to start my academic demise in a different city. The last few years I've been a general fuck-up, so I guess at least my family is happy that I'm doing something partly useful now - until they remember that I am majoring in writing. So instead of recalibrating my old room into a fitness heaven like my dad always dreamt of, my mom already prepares for the day when I graduate and come back home unemployed. Or the day when I drop out. Whichever comes first; the bets are on and the odds are still 50/50.
&#x200B;
Anyway, starting college and it didn't take a week until I immediately crushed on this girl in one of my classes. Yeah, I'm that kinda guy. Mind you that I'm not necessarily a creep (I hope?), I'm usually a huge introvert who just keeps to himself and avoids others, so when during one of our introduction days I got paired up with this girl for an assignment and we started becoming immediate friends it somehow happened.
&#x200B;
Fast forward two months and we hung out more and more. Then, that one faithful night, we drank too much bud light, blurry got our sight; and when the Uber we alight, she invites me to her might, and me, - still high as a kite - went in with all smite, kissed and held her so tight! She turned off the light, it all felt so right; but the hours went down in a flight, and suddenly it crossed my mind: I just couldn't come in her clit (pls try to read the last one so it rhymes, I just couldn't figure out a good ending for the chain). In other words, even when going down on her for almost a fucking hour, neither of us could finish.
&#x200B;
"Okay," we thought, "maybe it's because we were absolutely hammered that night", and we tried again four more times over the coming week - but to no avail, the stiff dowsing rod simply couldn't find any water. It was my first time ever, so I had no clue what was going on. And usually I have no issues with that, when I'm on my own you couldn't even tell the difference between me going for a pee or wank as it literally takes the exact same time.
&#x200B;
So the whole situation got a toll on us; but especially on her, because she simply feels like I don't like her and don't want to sleep with her. As she said, something like this "never happened before". So we kinda immediately stopped seeing each other, which completely dragged me down. And while looking for reasons or possible solutions, one thing led to another, and I suddenly found myself completely out of place in a doctor's waiting room full of guys aged 50 to infinity, all with the purpose to talk about some random dude about the malfunctioning joke dangling between their legs.
&#x200B;
After this consultation session, it was determined that my problems are likely connected to anxiety and/or performance anxiety. But the doc wasn't specialized in that (or rather he didn't wanna waste time dealing with it); thus, the next step was for me to go an actual therapist and try to get things straight (and stiff).
&#x200B;
I have had 5 sessions so far and OH BOY, it went from "let's get your cock working again to please some ladies" to "let's fix your underlying mental issues so you can avoid your ultimate social demise". 5 sessions with the therapist, and it became clear that not just my cock isn't working, but my entire brain isn't. I talked about wayy more than I anticipated, and today, just as my 6th session started, my therapist shared his first verdict with me: Congratulations, it's a depression! (Likely bipolar disorder, for anyone interested). And I immediately got hooked on the line for some anti-depressants (not the heavy hitters tho), which I thought was overkill - but hey, I'm not the specialist. I just took my first pills and nothing's happening so far (which is expected), but I am now contemplating a lot about my mental and social health.
&#x200B;
Idk, I kinda never thought I had anything like that. And I never thought that talking to a specialist can change you so much (tbh, for the better!!). It has been only a few hours, but I already look back at so many things from my (young) life until now and see everything differently. I'll probably take some time to reflect, and this post is the first step for me to do so.
&#x200B;
To everyone who thinks there is something going on mentally with them: I know it's often difficult, but talking with someone does help. Like many many other people, I never thought I had anyone to talk to about my mental health, and I never actually wanted to talk about it. I only got "tricked" to talk about it because of some phallic malfunctioning. Without this, I would have never thought about seeing a therapist. Even if you think "everyone has problems like these": That's simply not true, as soon as you see a therapist you begin to understand that the baggage you carry culminated over many years and is entirely unique to you. Getting help indeed helps.
&#x200B;
And if someone is curious, I haven't slept with anyone since I started the therapy, so idk if it got better already. And no, I haven't told my crush about all this as we rarely speak these days.
&#x200B;
TL;DR: Could not come during my first time, now got diagnosed with depression
Jiggarelli: Sounds like whiskey dick to me, or just nerves.
My first times were with older women, I was smart enough to accept the lessons I got from them.
I wouldn't worry about it, happens to every human with a penis.
If you like the girl, stay in touch. If it doesn't work out, you are a young man and the pond is well stocked.
Yungmulatoscotto: Sounds like you didn't read half of it lolol
Jiggarelli: I didn't.
Just trying make the kid feel okay about his floppy donger.
Jameschoral: Dude had undiagnosed depression most likely brought on by bipolar disorder.
| 5 | 3.6 | |
1672762494 | 1672792127 | t3_102c1al | t5_2to41 | 18,282 | thuckyou: TIFU by repeatedly shooting my boss in the head [UPDATE]
Almost two weeks ago, I repeatedly shot my boss in the head at a paintball event with some colleagues from work. If you haven’t read that post, I’ve copied it here: [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zv2uhr/tifu\_by\_repeatedly\_shooting\_my\_boss\_in\_the\_head/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/zv2uhr/tifu_by_repeatedly_shooting_my_boss_in_the_head/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
Last week, I noticed my boss scheduled a meeting for everyone that went paintballing that day.
Today was that meeting.
I was anxious all day and barely got any work done. I kept reading comments back to myself about how he is going to recognise my voice, or that he had a mental breakdown of some kind and that I irresponsibly failed to notice before shooting another four paintballs straight at his head.
It didn’t help that people in the office were talking about how our line manager cried at paintballing. All I added to the conversation were lines like “oh yeah I saw that after the game, what happened?” and “wow that’s crazy”. It became clear that nobody really knew what happened. Most people thought that he fell and banged his head really bad or something. Everyone knew he cried, even people that didn’t go paintballing, but nobody actually knew what happened.
Only I knew he didn’t hit his head. He just took the same shot over and over to the exact same spot. He didn’t call his hit and then cried afterwards. That’s all that happened.
Once we were sat and settled in the conference room, the boss made it clear that he didn’t want anyone in the office discussing out-of-work activities during working hours. Word must have gotten round that his crying was a topic of conversation.
He said he is fine, nothing serious, and then said something that took every inch of my composure not to react. I don’t know if I can quote him word for word, but he said something like this:
“I raised my hand and was running back to base, and that’s when I slipped in the mud and hit my head against a barrel”
When he said those words, I felt like it was a Mexican standoff. He glanced around the room, looking for a reaction, but I didn’t give him one. Internally though I was like what in the actual fuck are you on about?
I literally watched the paintballs one by one splat off the top of your head, over and over before you got walked out of the game by a marshal. Also, it was the top of your head that was sore. Now unless you dived like a dolphin into that barrel headfirst, I don’t see how that would be the part of your body that got injured if you actually slipped and hit something.
Externally though, my face tried to mirror the rest of the room, and was a mixture of compassion and surprise. Shout out to all of you that commented that I should practice the shocked Pikachu face – that was literally what I went for.
He still doesn’t know who did it. Everyone else believes his story. I’m not sure whether I should let it go or call him out on it.
TL;DR boss lied about why he cried after I shot him over and over in the head. I am not sure what to do.
EDIT1: My boss has sent out a late work email informing our team he will be taking the rest of the week off to recover a little more. In response, my colleagues in our group chat have decided that we should pool some money together to buy him a get well soon gift and treat him to a work lunch next week when he is back. If anything interesting happens at that lunch, I'll be sure to post an update.
Yukisuna: That’s that, case closed. You know the truth, let him have his narrative.
Make sure you never tell anyone in your workplace. Don’t ever bring this up again - remember how the story of him crying spread like wildfire even to people that weren’t there.
It’s honestly awful that that kind of thing even makes the rounds in an adult workplace. He doesn’t deserve to be shamed like that. Crying when you need to should be okay. He’s overly prideful and stubborn, that’s hardly a crime.
kdfsjljklgjfg: I mean, he does deserve to be shamed, just instead of for crying, he should be shamed for the actions that led to the end result of him crying.
CeruleanTresses: If anyone should be shamed, it's the person who hurt him physically for cheating at a game. Like, yeah, it's tacky not to call your hit, but the way OP retaliated was childish and dangerous. It doesn't sound like this game even had any stakes beyond bragging rights, and calling a ref to confirm the hit was an option the entire time.
kdfsjljklgjfg: Yes, OP should have called a ref. I do agree on that point.
But unless OP was firing an endless stream of shots at the manager, manager took their mask off, or OP cranked their marker up above I think you're overstating the level of danger that the manager was in.
There's a maximum speed of shots at paintball fields for a reason, and I've taken a half-dozen shots in a second before. Ive taken that many to the top of the head and had them all bounce, and if you haven't played before, bounces hurt way more because the momentum goes into your skull instead of breaking the ball on impact.. When I say that I've seen far worse than manager dealt with, I mean that I see far worse almost every time I've been paintballing, and I've been going for 15 years.
If the situation OP put manager in was dangerous to them, then they should NOT be stepping foot on a paintball field. Period.
CeruleanTresses: Hits the head are no joke. I don't see a moral justification for taking the risk, even if worse things regularly happen at paintball.
kdfsjljklgjfg: Have you played paintball? Or are you just going off of "hit to head = dangerous"
Because the whole reason that fields limit their maximum speed is so that it's not dangerous, and I have never in 15 years heard of someone being injured by a paintball, no matter where it hit them*. I PROMISE you that unless rules were being broken or manager had an exacerbating health condition, there is no world in which manager would have suffered an injury.
If it was dangerous to take head shots, then full-masks would be the norm as opposed to face-only.
*Outside of a kid who took his mask off and was shot in the eye, but that's why the paintball community takes mask safety VERY seriously and my old primary field would tackle/smother players who took their mask off, pause play, and kick them out
CeruleanTresses: He cried and had to take multiple days off, that sounds like an injury to me. Maybe you mean like a serious TBI, sure, but even then OP didn't *know* whether the boss had an exacerbating health condition or not. I just think it was at best a major dick move and it's bizarre that OP doesn't seem to feel bad about hurting someone so badly that they cried. All they seem to care about is whether they're going to get in trouble and whether they can further socially "punish" the boss for cheating without sticking their own neck out.
kdfsjljklgjfg: You can skin your knee and cry, too. Crying doesn't make it a serious injury, and who's to say that manager wasn't playing it up? If they were seriously hurt, they should have left the field, but it apparently didn't hurt THAT bad.
I guess I'm curious what you think OP should have done in this case, because it seems like you think they should have just given up and left the field.
EDIT: I forgot we agreed OP should have called a ref. However, I can understand a new player not considering that they can invite the refs to make a ruling. This is something new players will generally not consider
CeruleanTresses: As far as the boss not leaving the field, and in fact staying in the same exact position and doing nothing to protect himself from further hits, my immediate thought when I read that was that he was maybe dazed or otherwise incapacitated by the first shot and was unable to react normally. We'll never know whether or not that was the case, but if I'd been in OP's position, the fact that the boss didn't move would have been a reason *not* to keep firing.
I think OP should have called the ref over to confirm the initial hit, since that was apparently always an option. (I personally wouldn't have deliberately taken a shot to someone's unprotected head in the first place, but once past that point, calling the ref was the move.)
kdfsjljklgjfg: OP did mention that the manager responded by shouting and calling someone a bastard, and looked around when told to call themselves out.
It seems to me like a pretty standard level of fire to expect, from a pretty standard range, well-within within all standard safety regulations. If this was a dangerous scenario, then there should be ambulances responding to every paintball event over 20 people large.
I'm sorry, and no disrespect intended, but you just give off the impression of someone who has never taken a paintball shot before and is overestimating the harm it can cause by a pretty large degree.
CeruleanTresses: For what it's worth, I told a close friend of mine who *does* play paintball about this story, and his responses were that paintballs hurt like hell even on the fleshy parts, that many people freeze up in response to unexpected pain, and that "keeping up a barrage on an exposed target, even a cheating one, that's moral culpability; that says you want to inflict pain upon this cheater more than you should given It Is Just A Game." So it is possible for someone experienced with paintball to consider what OP did a dick move.
You're right that I don't, personally, play paintball. I do have a degree in neuroscience--not bringing that up to be pretentious, just that that experience is probably why I'm against intentionally hitting people in the head in any situation. I feel the same way about boxing.
(I don't think it's implausible that someone could instinctively react with "bastard!" but be unable to act to remove himself from the situation. People act in weird, sometimes seemingly inconsistent ways when their bells get rung.)
kdfsjljklgjfg: I'd disagree that shots on fleshy parts hurt "like hell" but that's pretty moot considering pain is so subjective. I'd say its about equivalent to a bee sting most of the time.
The neuroscience angle definitely makes your position more understandable. I guess all I could say on that angle is that the need for masks combined with the fact that masks that cover the whole head are a strong minority (especially amongst experience players) would demonstrate a community that both is cognizant of inherent danger and thus isn't in denial about danger, yet hasn't seen danger from headshots. That, and that in ~15 years of paintballing, I have never seen or even heard of a concussion or brain damage or any injury beyond a bruise that was sustained due to a paintball, excepting the person who took their mask off and was shot in the eye.
And while it may not be fair to ascribe to OP's manager, in my experience the people who don't call themselves out are typically those who will bonus ball (firing extra shots that you know will land after a person is out or even calls themselves out). In that regard, I'm more concerned with them inflicting unnecessary pain on me than me on them, and I've gotten some nasty battle wounds from those particular assholes.
I respect where you're coming from. If you have a degree in neuroscience you definitely have a valid reason to be extra concerned with impact yo the head. It just doesn't remotely match my experience over many, many outings.
CeruleanTresses: Yeah, I guess we are coming at it from pretty different perspectives. I'm glad you/your friends haven't experienced concussions or (god forbid) serious TBI playing paintball and that it's a risk the community, ranges, paintball manufacturers etc are cognizant of mitigating. I still think it was a dick move of OP to shoot the guy repeatedly instead of calling the ref off the bat (repeated hits to the head are particularly dangerous in general), and that OP's apparent lack of concern for the guy's welfare is shitty, but it's possible I'm overestimating the danger of the initial shot.
| 14 | 1,305.857143 | |
1672762846 | 1672771033 | t3_102c6pr | t5_2to41 | 112 | LunaticMS: TIFU by sending a "daddy" message to a 250-person Discord server
Potentially-misleading post title because the actual message I sent was non-sexual but basically what happened was I was watching a TV show my girlfriend had already seen, and one of the protagonists gets a hug from his father that was a long time coming. So I send her a picture of the hug on-screen with the jokingly over-sexual text "OMG daddy 🥲". Exxxcept I ended up accidentally sending this to a Discord server I run for my apartment building, which has 250+ people in it. My heart dropped as the progress bar for the upload started and I noticed what I had done. I immediately deleted the post, and then messaged my friends in the building asking if a notification popped up with the text, to which I got the response "It did lol". The one silver lining is that a) most people here aren't that active in the Discord, b) I think the default notification settings might not ping everyone for everything, and c) some other random person (my savior) started a conversation in the same channel shortly after. If I'm not mistaken, usually discord bundles all new messages in the same channel together in notifications, so my hope is that it probably only showed the latest message in the channel to anyone who got the ping, so it would be hidden unless they expanded the notification before clicking it, and anyone who clicked or dismissed it would have it cleared without seeing the message. Presumably nobody saw the image, but ironically it might've looked better if they did, since it would downgrade it from a sext-gone-wrong to a weirdo post about a show. But oh well. Nobody has mentioned it since, but if we have another neighbor meet-up I am bracing for a particular question.
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TL;DR: Like it says in the title, I sent a (non-sexual) joke picture with the text "omg daddy" to a Discord for people who live in my building rather than to my girlfriend, and it probably pinged everybody before I deleted it
The-Real-Iggy: Well I mean it could’ve been wayyy worse if it were something sexual lmao
LunaticMS: Well, no way for the residents here to know it wasn't 😅
| 3 | 37.333333 | |
1674664349 | 1674680953 | t3_10l2tm8 | t5_2to41 | 45 | n-rhymes: TIFU by making a phone call
This actually happened about 30 years ago, back in the dark ages when people didn’t own mobile phones. I know, primitive, right?
Now, for any millennials out there who have ever wondered what those strange glass boxes are they see from time to time by the side of the street, they are a remnant from this prehistoric age, known as telephone boxes or phone booths for the American readers out there. Basically they were the closest thing we had to mobile telecommunications back in the day, as they were the only way to make phone calls whilst out and about.
So with this education for the younger generation out of the way, onto the story. I lived in a house that didn’t have a phone, so the only way I could make a phone call was to go out and use one of these mythical phone boxes, and on this occasion that’s exactly what I did. I can’t remember who I called, probably my brother or a family member but the identity of the recipient of my call isn’t relevant to the story. So I pop off to the phone box, make my call, plough in the change required to get connected and, once complete hang up and head back home. No problems, all pretty straight forward. So where’s the fuck up you may ask? Well, I didn’t discover that until later in the day.
At this time, my job paid my wage weekly and in cash, in a small square envelope. Once I received my wages, I would put my bank card in the envelope to keep my financial bits together in one easy to manage place. The first sign that I may have fucked up came when I couldn’t find my pay packet. I rummaged through my coat pockets and searched through my trouser pockets with no sign of my hard earned salary. Similarly, a search of my room was just as fruitless. As panic started to settle in, I took a deep breath and forced myself to look at the situation logically and retrace my steps in my mind.
Once I’d calmed my nerves and managed to cast my mind back, I recalled entering the phone box, taking out my wage packet to extract the change needed to make the call and place the envelope on the shelf above the phone. I then had no recollection of picking the envelope up once the call was finished. This was the moment I realised I had fucked up and left an entire week’s wages as well as my bank cards discarded in a public phone box. In a panic I rushed out the house, racing down the street and yanking open the door of the phone box to find myself staring at an empty shelf. In my mind’s eye, I could clearly see the small brown envelope of riches sitting on the shelf exactly where I left it, but my actual eyes saw nothing. Just a blank space. My money was gone, and some caller who came in after me had hit the jackpot.
Despondent, I left the phone box and started wondering home, cursing my stupidity and absent mindedness, wracking my brain for any way I could resolve the situation and reverse the calamity I had brought on myself. Deciding not to leave any stone unturned, I thought I should check in at the local police station, just in case, even though I was sure that whoever had found my wages would probably be already planning a big night out to celebrate their unexpected windfall but hey, I might as well confirm that I’d lost it all, right?
You can imagine then, my surprise and delight when my enquiry at the reception desk was met with a ‘wait a minute’ as the officer rummaged around the lost property before producing a familiar brown envelope. After several questions about my identity confirmed that I was the same person whose name was on the bank cards, the envelope was returned to me, complete with the entire contents.
I don’t who my good Samaritan was, who found my pay packet and handed it in but I will always be grateful to them. Not only did they return an entire week’s wages to me but they gave me a renewed faith in humanity, a precious commodity that can be thin on the ground sometimes.
Whoever you are, thank you. It’s been 30 years and, although I don’t know you, I’ve never forgotten you.
TLDR. I made a phone call in a public call box and left a whole week’s wages behind, which had vanished by the time I returned for it. Lucky for me, there are some decent people in the world and it was handed in at the police station and returned to me.
catsaway9: Love a happy ending!
Auphor_Phaksache: This is TIFU. They're not supposed to have a happy ending.
Maaaagentaaaa: they still fucked up, just the fuck up luckily didn't end too badly
| 4 | 11.25 | |
1672764723 | 1673226871 | t3_102cyc0 | t5_2to41 | 4 | peepeepoopaccount: TIFU by lying to my friends about my educational status
Obligatory this didn’t happen today.
I’m a teacher in my 40’s in NYC and I’m my free time, I enjoy playing trivia with a group of friends. I have known these people for years.
Years ago when I met them, they all had advanced degrees but I only had my bachelors. I showed my friends a picture of my graduation and they assumed it was for my masters, so I went along with it, even though it was from my undergrad. I was too scared to admit that I lied so I’ve gone along with this lie for years.
Recently, Trisha, one of my trivia group friends, has started sending me job applications for jobs that require a masters degree. I’ve been thinking about telling her the truth but I am afraid she will become aggressive. Now I either just admit this years long lie to her or keep it a secret.
TLDR; lied to my friends about getting a masters degree and now my friend won’t stop sending me job openings that require a masters degree, which I don’t have
realdonaldtrumpsucks: I’d still apply.
A degree OR a good candidate — I’ll choose the candidate.
BuzzedtheTower: Honestly, this (assume HR aren't cockwomble who discard any application that doesn't list a MA). If the jobs are in your field, you'll be much preferred over a freshly stamped MA
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1674666401 | 1674686036 | t3_10l3nm2 | t5_2to41 | 16 | fear_me_mortal: TIFU by accidentally eating a really strong chocolate weed edible without knowing what it was (I'm 15)
[removed]
Piff_Piffington: Not a doctor so I might be wrong (although many years of cannabis and psychedlic use), but alot of your experience is leading me to believe it may possibly have been a mushroom chocolate as opposed to a cannabis chocolate. If your piss test doesn't show cannabinoids and doesn't pop for anything else, I can almost guarantee it.
While cannabis can definitely have mild psychedelic effects, everything you described during the ambulance ride sounds straight out of a true psychedelic experience.
When you say the chocolate tasted weird, did it have more of a floraly herbaliness to it or more of an earthy, almost sock smell like taste?
fear_me_mortal: It definitely tested more floral and herb-like. I remember thinking it tested vaguely like mint but not really
| 3 | 5.333333 | |
1672766433 | 1672842671 | t3_102do1p | t5_2to41 | 7,068 | tifu_celery: TIFU by adding "The Celery Man" to the name of my friend on his resume which he did not notice
My friend has a bad habit of not double checking or revising his work. Earlier in 2022 he asked me to look at his resume as he was looking to apply for new jobs. I said sure. Let's say his name was Tom Henderson. I edited the name to be: Tom "The Celery Man" Henderson. I also added a bullet point to each of his positions in job experience that said "Crunching & Munching that Celery."
Why did I do this? I did this as a joke, assuming he'd see it and remove the silly edits. When I gave him feedback on the resume I asked him if he would be sure to make some revisions before sending it out. He said sure.
Well, he didn't. Not only that, but he never noticed the edits.
It turns out since April 2022 he has been sending out resumes with "The Celery Man" on the resume. He has good experience and has been frustrated all year how he got like no interviews. He actually had one initial call with a recruiter and was perplexed when the recruiter guy called him "Celery Man", he had no idea what it meant but just went along with it. Never got a 2nd interview.
Finally, before New Years he had a legit interview. They also made a "Celery Man" joke, which astounded him, and he asked why they made this reference. They told him it was all over his resume. He was mortified. He even told them he had no idea this was on there, but in doing so it basically came out that he had never looked at his resume. He thinks this is the reason he didn't get the job.
In any case, I had to confess to him I was the one who did this, but it had never been my intention that he would actually send it to jobs. I thought he'd have noticed it right away.
Well, he is quite mad at me. He said I've "made him the jackass to all of the NYC tech scene" and that I "went beyond all acceptable lines of pranking". I think he is overreacting a bit, I mean it is just a silly prank really and how in the world does somebody not notice this for almost an entire year on their own resume?
I am worried it might cost me this friendship though so I am hoping to find a way to make it up to him.
TL;DR - I edited the resume of my friend to name him "The Celery Man" as a bizarre moniker, but he never noticed and sent it out to employers, making him seem weird.
Cant_think__of_one: “In doing so- it basically came out that he had never looked at his resume.”
He’s right- *that’s* why he didn’t get the job.
GhastInTheShell: And why the fuck should he? Once you have your resume edited nicely, who the fuck is gonna mess with it? Other than this wanker.
Experienced_AP: If you have to have someone else do your resume, and you may have to do that, then the least you can fucking do is read over it when you get it back. Make sure the dates are correct, spell check, grammar, etc.
Not doing so makes me think you're not ready for the adult life.
Richs_KettleCorn: Especially since OP pointed out that he made revisions and point blank checked that the friend would look it over before he sent them in. Even if I sent an important document to a friend to look over and they said it looked perfect and they made no notes, I'm still paranoid enough about errors to look it over a couple more times before I sent it in. Hell, I read this Reddit comment about six times before I posted it. Proofreading will absolutely save your ass.
DeeLeetid: Hate to break it to you, but you’re going to have to edit this comment. I see a glaring grammatical error.
TruGamingBlonde: If you’re referring to them saying sent instead of send they are actually correct and you can read my comment below explaining why
DeeLeetid: I was kidding. Just wanted to send them into a tailspin of worry.
Ktulu789: What about specially/especially? I'm not English native.
DeeLeetid: Especially feels more correct. I wouldn’t ever use ‘specially’ in this context. But I did just look it up and apparently it’s also acceptable. Now I’m trying to think how or when I’d use “specially” and I’m not coming up with anything. Maybe with something like “I hope you enjoy these cookies. I baked them specially for you”. But even then I’d probably use especially. When I looked it up it says especially is more formal, but I’m not a super formal person. Sorry I couldn’t clear up your question.
Ktulu789: I was thinking this could be some American vs England difference. Like aluminum and aluminium, color and colour, etc and std... Wait a minute 😁
Mamai23: Specially is used like "We have a specially designed company car." Especially has a different meaning, imo. They aren't interchangeable to me.
Ktulu789: Interesting! And how do you use "especially"?
Mamai23: "I like ice-cream, especially cookies and cream flavour."
Ktulu789: That would be hard to differentiate for me since in Spanish (my native), both sentences would use the same word and the same intention: "especialmente". I kinda read both sentences in the same light, too 😅
Thanks for your replies, it's very interesting! I'll look into it! 😁
Mamai23: Specially = específicamente
| 16 | 441.75 | |
1674670373 | 1674753220 | t3_10l5bgo | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my girlfriends earring on my night stand
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: > it was either hers or one of my cousins
Plot twist: it in fact was one of the cousins, and OP is cheating on the girlfriend with the cousin
Lem0n_Lem0n: Both of them wears the exact same earring...
FlyingSpagetiMonsta: So they are the same person?
| 4 | 9.75 | |
1673711104 | 1673749702 | t3_10bri89 | t5_2to41 | 19,218 | ComfortableKar: TIFU by forgetting to attend a wedding
[removed]
nopefoffprettyplease: You are a bit of a jerk, but probably a sincere apology and maybe a nice wedding gift will smooth it over. If you don't apologise soon, it will just grow awkward and the relationship will die. Apologising now might turn it into a funny story you tell in x amount of time.
allegedlyworking: Ask if you can cover the cost of the seating that was reserved for you. Might be like $40-80 per person?
OkapiEli: Could be $100/seat. Depends on where you are.
Individual-Engine-32: Weddings are really expensive. $200+ per person isn’t out of the question and that’s just food and alcohol. If you consider everything (band or dj, flowers, shuttles, etc.), it could be double that.
minesaka: Since we are one upping each others guesstimates, I'm just gonna drop $300 for a good measure.
themeanderingfool: Continuing in this spirit ..
Just go the distance to show your sincerity. Offer to pay for the cost of the entire wedding.
PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL: And give them half your family's stuff if they get divorced.
someone_cbus: Each gets half. OP is left with nothing
Taleya: Why are we quibbling maths? Give them your children
MadameMonk: Better if you offer to take their kids full-time. Let them really enjoy that honeymoon (and beyond).
ifuckedyourgf: At this point OP needs to go all the way and offer to watch their kids from beyond the grave.
oldandfragile: Sorry we missed your wedding. We will haunt you til the end of days to make it up to ya! See on Tuesday for finger painting!
| 13 | 1,478.307692 | |
1672767909 | 1672773743 | t3_102ea98 | t5_2to41 | 28 | RedVelvet2397: TIFU by trying to nair my asshole
so i am a non-binary amab person and i have extremely hairy legs, as well as other areas. Today i decided enough was enough, i cant stand this shit, im going to nair my entire body. So i went in the bathroom stripped and began to apply nair all over my legs, after using over half the bottle because my hair is so thick and you are supposed to apply a thick, even coat all over the areas that you want to rid of hair, i decided im just gonna do my legs today. and then i remembered im supposed to be hooking up with someone later this week, so id better go ahead and chop down the amazon jungle that is my asshole. so i began to apply a thick, even coat. I forgot that it was a little chapped from using shitty toilet paper but was quickly reminded as soon as the nair touched my butthole, as it began to burn very badly. I thought to myself, "its just a little bit of pain, it will go away shortly, just like when you wash a chapped ass with bodywash right?" WRONG. It continued to burn as i stepped into the shower and as i washed the nair off of my legs. (Im absolutely positive i did not use this product correctly, but read the instructions on the back of nair shower cream and see if you can make sense of it) As i finally tried to wash the nair off of my ass, the loofa hurt like a son of a bitch. It was almost unbearable, it took me at least ten minutes just to get all the nair off. Relieved, I looked back at my legs to find that there were just numerous swatches of hair melted together that did not come off. I let out a large sigh, and reached back to feel a giant clump of hair nesting in between my butt cheeks. I tried to wipe it off but it was stuck to some of the hair that did not completely disolve. At this point i cursed nair for its inefficiency and began to shave my legs. took a long fucking time when all i had was a razor for my face, but i finally did it. And then the hard part, I had to shave my asshole. Little by little grazing the razor over my chemically burned anus, i managed to get it done, gritting my teeth and letting out whimpers of pain. Thank got i recently got a tattoo and had Aquaphor on hand and that i do not have to go to work until saturday. But Jesus fucking christ, i guess what they say is true, "You learn something new everyday".
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TL;DR: I Tried to nair my asshole and got a chemical burn
ADAIRP1983: When you think about the idea that having a hairy arse and using toilet paper to wipe you bum its insane.
Imagine a poo emerging from your scalp and thinking that rubbing some paper on your head was enough.
RedVelvet2397: yeah, its pretty gross, im not fixin to shower every time i shit tho.
EDIT: may think about baby wipes
ADAIRP1983: Bidets should really have been much more popular
RedVelvet2397: As if rinsing your poop emergency scalp with water will be good enough
Edit: I didn't see that it said emerging until after I commented
ADAIRP1983: We’re going to need to chop the whole head off aren’t we
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1672769171 | 1672796456 | t3_102eu7n | t5_2to41 | 3,794 | PiresMagicFeet: TIFU by getting my girlfriend a Christmas Present
So obviously not today, but Christmas was the beginning of my TIFU travails that have now lasted me over a week. Maybe you guys will get a chuckle out of it I've been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months, so this was our first Christmas and New Years together. Overall it was really chill -- went to her family's house on Christmas Eve, mine on Christmas, and in general spent a lot of time cuddling on the couch with the my pup too. Now the issue comes on Christmas morning. Obviously we are both excited to give each other the presents that we got - I like to think I'm okay/not bad at giving presents that are meaningful and personal, rather than just some generic stuff, and she's told me she loves giving presents and its one of her favourite things to do to see people's reactions when she gives them.
Now we've both gotten each other a few presents, so we go through opening them from smallest/most trivial to biggest. Keep in mind, my girlfriend is always cold. It's started to get pretty chilly where we live - winter time and all that. We also like sitting out on my balcony each night just to look at some stars, enjoy some fresh air, and talk with a glass of wine or a beer. So I figure, the best thing to do is to get her a wearable blanket. She can be warm, cuddly, cozy, and it had the happy face of an animal that kind of became our first inside joke all over it. Honestly, I couldn't wait for her to put it on because I thought she was going to look really adorable.
Guys, I was right. She looked adorable in it. She absolutely loved it. So what's the issue now? Well, any time she gets home from work, off go the work clothes, and on goes the wearable blanket. At all times in my house I now have a cute fuzzy animal that is probably at least 4 times the height it is supposed to be, and is not my dog, moving around. Even when we go to bed, she's still in the wearable blanket because it makes her feel even warmer. This blanket has no holes or openings except at the neck and at the feet. I cannot even hold my girlfriend without holding a large fuzzy animal. It's been a week since I held her boobs. I've replaced a perfectly good human woman with a cute furry animal whose myriad faces just laugh at me and mock me to sleep every night.
I love that she loves the present. I'm just kinda wishing she loved it a little less now lol.
&#x200B;
TL;DR I bought my girlfriend a christmas present. She never takes it off now. I haven't seen her or touched in a week.
Gaias_Minion: The blanket is her cocoon now, she'll wear it until she's ready to reveal her new form with wings and what not
PiresMagicFeet: Hahaha I'm ok without having 5 and a half feet tall bugs trying to cuddle me thanks
indomitablescot: What about sexy bug waifus? Hmmm?
LOTRfreak101: is this r/insex?
indomitablescot: No r/monstergirl, well maybe...
LOTRfreak101: That looks like a private community, but I think r/spidergirls might be an option.
indomitablescot: I would have to go on my alt to figure it out but alas work lol
LOTRfreak101: All good. Considering that OP doesn't seem to be too into insects, i'm not sure how helpful these would be anyway.
indomitablescot: Sad though if they live eggs so much maybe they should check out r/oviposition
| 10 | 379.4 | |
1674671207 | 1674683482 | t3_10l5o9e | t5_2to41 | 139 | Sangwooscvmsock: TIFU by letting my bf meet my guy friends unsupervised by me
A little backstory to get you guys started.
This is the second time I’m dating my bf. The reason we broke up was because of me I’ll be honest. I was having a lot of mental issues at the time so I thought it was best for him to not be in my life so I didn’t bring him down with me. Sweet guy who didn’t deserve it.
The guy friends in the story were there for me along with my bsf (female). Granted it was my fault we broke up we rekindled and I was in a better mental state and it’s only gotten better since.
Now we skip to this incident. My bf wanted to meet my friends and I was scared to say the least. My friend group is a big mix of country to city. We decided to go to Riley’s place (fake name) stereotypical country guy who lives with his gf. Not many people around blah blah. Most of my friends went so total abt 13 ppl.
Now here’s where I messed up. Everyone was getting drunk and I just wanted to go home. Him and Riley bonded really well which I’m more then happy about. I didn’t want to ruin my bfs fun so I had my bsf drive me home with Riley’s gf so the boys could have their own night while the girls had our own. My bf would come home in the morning when he’s sober. Fine right? No. Big mistake.
His dumbass got too drunk with Riley. They decided to BRAND THEIR GFS NAMES ROGHY OVER THEIR JUNK. Me and Jess (Riley’s gf fake name) weren’t paying attention to our phone because we were watching the new junji ito thing on Netflix. After we got done with that we see loads of missed snaps and calls.
At first it was just snaps of them being drunken idiots. They just having their fun and what not. We were having our own little laugh at them watching them. Only to see the snap of them branding eachother.
The look me and Jess gave eachother was why did we leave them alone. Two irresponsible men alone with more drunken idiots.
I had Phoenix drive our asses back to Riley’s and Jess fully unloaded on Riley. Before I could unload on my bf he lifts up his shirt and goes “Do you like it?” I just stared at him for a good few minutes and I just asked why he did that.
Turns out there was some wholesome intention behind it. Knowing I had trust issues cause of exs fucking me over and him wanting to show me that he’s not like that and that he’s in it for the long run. I’m in a mix between pissed and happy. I just hope it’s a blurry name when it heals. Just out of guilt for not being there to stop him from mutilating himself like that.
I love him but it’s a bit much for me to wrap my head around.
TL;DR
Left bf alone. Him and his new bud branded their gfs names on themselves. Including my name
axioner: Honestly, this is more of a "yourBFfu" while drunk.
Sangwooscvmsock: True but I take a little blame fully knowing he’s a complete idiot when drunk
axioner: So more of a "tifu by dating a drunken idiot" story 😉
Sangwooscvmsock: Yeah but I love my drunken idiot. Even tho he’s an idiot he’s still my idiot
axioner: Hey, don't get me wrong. My wife married an idiot too.
| 6 | 23.166667 | |
1672771777 | 1672861535 | t3_102fyx4 | t5_2to41 | 46 | skellytoninthecloset: TIFU by accidently hitting the order sign at McDonald's with my truck.
I was trying to get a quick bite for my kid and I before I took her to a play date. School restarts tomorrow and I wanted to make sure she has one last day of fun before break is over. We were really excited and quickly out the door to go to one of her favorite new places.
I've been through this drive thru before. I've been thru this drive thru with this vehicle before. Today, I catch the edge of the sign with the truck and shattered the it. I feel like such an a**hole. People around me were laughing and staring. One person thankfully helped me prevent doing more property damage. I had a split second where I wanted to drive away out of sheer guilt and embarrassment but remembered that that's illegal and my kid still needed food.
I stopped and gave all my information. I called insurance to let them know that they'll be getting a call. I got my partner to take our kid to the play date. I don't feel safe driving right now. I want to find a hole and crawl inside it.
Happy New Year.
TL;DR TIFU by shattering the menu ordering sign outside of a local McDonald's while on my way to a play date.
MayorOfSmurftown: You know you have a great life overall when something as minor as this makes you feel bad.
Seriously, don't worry about it.
skellytoninthecloset: I'm not sure if you are mocking me or not.
I grew up with a narcissistic father. I am trying not to feel bad about existing in general most of the time. It is especially difficult when I'm inconveniencing people with accidental property damage.
MayorOfSmurftown: Just a little lighthearted fun. I wasn't trying to be malicious.
You're making a mountain out of a molehill. If you're seriously feeling bothered by accidentally damaging a fast food sign, it might be worth talking to a therapist and trying to unpack some of your feelings. Particularly the way you talk about "trying not to feel bad about existing in general". You shouldn't feel bad for existing.
skellytoninthecloset: I have a great life, or I need therapy. Which one is it?
MayorOfSmurftown: My point is, if the worst thing that happened during your day was accidentally damaging a fast food sign, you had a pretty darn good day compared to most people.
We live in a world with so many tragedies. Doing a bit of damage to a plastic sign is such a tiny inconsequential little thing in the grand scheme of things. It's important to keep these things in perspective sometimes. And there's no shame if you need a therapist to help you find that perspective.
| 6 | 7.666667 | |
1674671385 | 1674676200 | t3_10l5qyo | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not appreciating my girlfriend
[deleted]
astlo1441: bruh what is this
XxFrostxX: Self accountability this happens in a lot of relationships and this is why girls leave we gotta do better guys
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1672775025 | 1672801613 | t3_102hcgb | t5_2to41 | 76 | Jlitus21: TIFU by writing a love letter and getting broken up with
This happened about 2 weeks ago. I (23M) had been seeing a girl (22F) for about 4 months. We met on Tinder as you do when you're this age, and from the start we instantly clicked. I was staying over her apt 4-5 days a week, and going straight there from work as well. We were doing a lot together, tho with the cold weather mostly just staying in and watching sports/movies or playing the switch together. She would come over some days too but it made more sense for me to go to her place since my work was much closer to her (walking distance, we live in a city).
So, things are going great and we're seeing each other *a lot*. We never talked about officially dating or anything but I felt that from the time we were spending together that was the direction we were heading, especially after 4 months. She's in her final year before grad school for Biochemical Engineering, and I'm taking a gap year before finishing my Geology degree next year. She has been pretty stressed with finals and grad school applications but she affirmed that I was helping with said stress. We both are extremely reserved and very clearly inexperienced with relationships but when we were together it was very calming and felt good.
Fast forward to right before her school's Christmas break, around Dec. 17th or so. She was going home for the holidays, and her family was vacationing in Puerto Rico. She wouldn't be back for nearly a month, but that's fine we talked and with all the stress from school she needed that break. So the night before she leaves, I decide it'll be cute to write a stupid little poem and draw a picture of us together. I am the least creative person you'll probably ever meet and I spent much of my work day trying to come up with something short and sweet, and eventually had something I was happy with. The poem didn't explicitly say anything about love, and was definitely very cringey but I'm a hopeless romantic and thought maybe she'd appreciate it. I was very happy with the picture I drew, it was like our silhouettes on the couch watching TV as we would do most nights.
I stop by her apt building, the doorman let's me in since I've been there often enough, and I go up to her floor and slide the note + picture folded up under her door and leave. Sent her a text saying to be mindful when she comes back since I left something under her door. I don't hear from her all night or the following morning, until she texts me basically saying that she isn't ready for a relationship and has been super stressed about "leading me on" and moving away for grad school. Naturally I'm very confused since I felt things were going good, so I try and argue for the case that hey, we can always work things out when the time comes but for now we can just continue to enjoy each other's company. But she refused and then blocked me.
Icing on the cake is it was the day before my birthday too :')
So yeah, TL;DR I wrote a little love poem for a girl I was seeing, she wasn't ready for a relationship and blocked me.
Big_Simba: FWIW I don’t think the letter changed anything. Seems like this was her plan regardless. Sucks but I don’t think you screwed up
aussie_nub: The straw that broke the camel's back as they say.
| 3 | 25.333333 | |
1672778504 | 1672780700 | t3_102isok | t5_2to41 | 28 | Recent_Mud5355: TIFU having an open relationship
I (20f) have been with my partner (21m) for a few years.
We have recently started been seeing other people- it was a mutual decision based on the fact we have lost our bedroom spark but other than that we both would be inconvenienced by separating due to living together and we have a bond I thought I did not want to leave.
I've been seeing my side hoe (24m) a few months now it's been really nice!
But today I walked in on my partner masterbating- which is fine he didn't know I had entered the room. Curious to what he was watching I looked and to my horror he was on my phone masterbating to my side hoes dick pics he'd sent to me not wanting to make it any more embarrassing I quickly stealthed away
AND I'M NOT OKAY! How do I even bring this up to him?
Tl;Dr my boyfriend's masterbating to my other boyfriends peen pics
neovb: This story seems suspect. Why would your boyfriend have access to your phone? I would assume that he wouldn't masturbate (on your phone) knowing you were in the apartment. And it seems unlikely that you left your apartment for long enough without your phone for him to do the deed. Something here doesn't make a lot of sense.
zorggalacticus: Probably a computer or an iPad or something where their account was left logged in. I'm guessing the pics were sent with messenger, or the pc or tablet was linked to the phone (I've done that, not anymore though) so you can receive text messages on your pc. Pretty sure both Android and ios support it.
| 3 | 9.333333 |
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