start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1672894141 | 1673104756 | t3_103pw30 | t5_2to41 | 44 | starry_nightz_: TIFU by drinking half a bottle of my roommate's Benadryl
I, 26f, live with one roommate, 33f. I moved in to her place last summer after moving across the country with her. She works a full time job and I'm trying to get my GED (long story).
So, I had a terrible headache. I'm not sure what caused it but it hurt so badly. I figured I could fix it with something in the medicine cabinet. I hate pills, so I found a bottle of the only liquid thing there- Benadryl. I had heard of it before, so I figured it was safe. I took two doses because I was in so much pain and went to take a nap.
When I woke up, my skin was itchy and my head was still pounding. Stupidly I took another dose. I think I was overpouring them because now half of the almost full bottle was gone. I laid back down on the couch and fell asleep.
I don't remember most of this, but I know my roommate came home and I was almost unconscious and mildly hallucinating. All I really remember is her holding me and crying. I was in pain but also felt floaty and not in control of my body.
It took a whole day and a half before I felt normal again. My roommate is pretty pissed off I think but she's hiding it. She keeps saying I "just scared" her. I feel awful for making her scared. She does so much for me. She saved my life and somehow I still always fuck things up.
TL:DR - I drank far more medicine than I should have, scared the shit out of my roommate, and now I feel awful for making her upset.
BeakyPlinder69: You're smart enough to come on here and make a post, but not smart enough to read a label? Is this a joke? It's just too hard to believe you would drink a bottle of something you have no idea about.
starry_nightz_: I thought it was okay because my roommate takes random medicine all the time and she's super smart.
simplysydney22: She probably doesn’t take random medicine all the time. She knows what’s in her medicine cabinet, knows what it’s for, and knows how much to take. To you, it seems random because you don’t know these things. Next time you’re not feeling well, ask her what to take or read the package very carefully before taking any.
starry_nightz_: I didn't want to bother her at work
OkapiEli: You can’t bother her at work, right. But medicine is specific to the person taking it, and if you take the wrong kind or too much you can really hurt yourself. So let’s plan ahead in case you get sick again.
Are you getting a lot of headaches? Are you on any prescription medications, or aware of having any specific chronic health issues?
How big is your overall size - like, very small person (100 lbs), medium person (150 lbs), or larger person (200+)?
You said you can’t take pills, right?
starry_nightz_: My head hurts like 2-3 times a week. I'm super small. I can't take pills.
OkapiEli: See message.
| 8 | 5.5 | |
1672894042 | 1672908255 | t3_103puw4 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting rammed with the runs
[deleted]
ohnourfeelings: Oh so fucking vile. You didn’t scotch guard the couch?
miller-lite-and-: Should’ve! Luckily the warranty covers stains.
ohnourfeelings: Haha yes we would like to return this couch it has a stain. Sure what is the stain? Uhhhh
Fun-Pea-880: Explosive Diarrhea is a reasonably great explanation without going into too much detail.
| 5 | 2.2 | |
1674798869 | 1674860559 | t3_10mdlqm | t5_2to41 | 1,753 | [deleted]: TIFU by expecting to have a birthday cake from my family
[removed]
JustARandomOrange: I'm so sorry about what happened to you.
# HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU WITH LOVE FROM THE REDDITORS WHO JUST READ THIS POST
Extra(s): angry grudge for your parent's (and probably your sister's) entitlement
you didn't do anything wrong here, your parents have bias issues. and this might be more fitting for me to say this.
You might need to talk about this issue in r/relationships
or even better yet, r/raisedbynarcissists because I think everyone seems to hate you/very much against you but let's hope whatever happens in the future will work out for you so happy birthday to you u/Birthdaycake32 happy wishes to you.
love. various redditors who just read this post.
parksandrecpup: No probably about it. Who the fuck let’s their parents do that? At the very least sneak your twin a piece of cake on either your “birthday” or the actual day. Sounds like the twin is pretty shitty too. As for the parents, I hope their golden daughter enjoys taking care of them when they are older. I don’t usually go straight for cut them off when you’re gone (I have a complicated relationship with my parents, and I get things aren’t always black and white) but in this case, it’s only 3 years hun and then you can go off to school and meet new people who love you for you. I’m so sorry OP.
pmmeyourphotography: Her twin sucks. I feel so bad for op.
Vivistolethecheese: Her sister didn't do anything, this is the parent's fault.
blackscales18: Not doing anything is the problem
Vivistolethecheese: She's also a child, what do you want her to do?
blackscales18: Show some level of empathy or compassion to her sister instead of being complicit in it. 15 is a little old to not know something's fucked up
Vivistolethecheese: OP never said she didn't, even hoped she'd see this. Y'all are asking for a kid to stand up to her verbally abusive parents, and yet also thinking one shouldn't. Neither should.
parksandrecpup: Again, I grew up in a not only verbally but physically abusive house. There’s no way I would have let my sister get literally nothing on her birthday while I had a huge party and a cake. I also would have made damn sure to apologize to her and wish her a happy birthday. Her entire family not bothering to wish her a happy birthday is really fucked up, and a 15 year old is old enough to say “happy birthday” to her twin. And if you re-read it, she clearly says she’s not close with her twin and hopes she reads it, as in hopes her twin can maybe bother to recognize that what’s she’s doing is wrong.
| 10 | 175.3 | |
1674795919 | 1674830126 | t3_10mcqw2 | t5_2to41 | 46 | slaerdx: TIFU by making an expensive mistake in an art studio
I'm a handyman that works on general handyman stuff, like mounting TVs to the wall, installing/replacing ceiling fans, assembling large furniture, that kind of stuff. One of my clients which I've worked for doing that kind of stuff has an art studio and I help out a bit there sometimes to make some extra money. I'm not poor, but I don't make much money, and it's especially frustrating when everything is skyrocketing in price and my rent goes up starting next month. Blame who you want, but it's happening and not doing any favors for us low-earning workers.
At the art studio, I'll usually help with the not-so-skilled stuff, like heavy lifting, organizing and cleaning, the occasional woodworking with power tools, and sometimes with mixing epoxy resin.
Today mid-day I get a call from the artist, asking if I could help with something as she has a tight schedule for some commissions which involve pouring large amounts of said resin, plus she had to go to an important doctor appointment so she instructed me to pour and mix the resin with specific measurements (there's 2 different resin materials that need to be mixed together in a specific proportion to form the epoxy) and she trusts me to stay and do it while she had to go out. I've worked for her for over 1.5 years and built a rapport of trust over that time. She's a good person and employer (or client or whatever the correct term is, idc anymore), and even sent me a Christmas bonus last year, and I always try to help out however I can.
I had other things to do today, but I had that bit of a window to be able to help her out, so I wanted to just get that done and leave and take care of the other things. I mixed what I thought was the correct amount of each resin part in three 5-gallon buckets, each mix stirred by hand with a large wooden stick for 10 minutes each. Did that, cleaned up the area around the pouring area, covered the buckets with a tarp so small particles can't get in, and left. She told me that the resin takes many hours to harden, so she would come back from the doctor and proceed to pour. That was the plan, but then later, while at home catching up on school work (I'm in uni), I get a call from her.
She tells me the resin hardened and is no good, and that the 15 gallons total that I improperly mixed has become useless. The type of resin she used apparently is expensive as fuck. The 15 gallons cost over $900, close to $1000. She's telling me that she's freaking out, instructed me how to do it right, and that I somehow did it wrong even when I thought I did it right. Not only that, but she's also freaking out that it's time lost for having to repurchase the resin, mix them, and have less time for the commissions which are supposedly expected to be done soon (idk how soon, but soon enough to be a problem. Now I'm freaking out too.
I really wish I never answered that call, or told her that I couldn't do it. I like to try to help and not be lazy, but this FU will cost me nearly $1K and possibly (and understandably) her trust. I'll have to work for her for free to pay it off or face the loss and pay her back, but that's gonna take time considering I'm already gonna take a big hit with the rent raise. Fuck inflation and fuck resin.
TLDR: I poured $1K worth of resin improperly, now it's gone to waste and I fucked up the artist's project schedule, and have to either work for her for free for a bit or pay it off. Most likely the former because I don't make a lot of money.
Interesting-Month-56: You need to reset your perspective:
Today, the artist you work for sometimes fucked up by giving an important and sensitive task to someone not trained in the task and not paid to be an expert in the task.
Despite that person’s diligent efforts to follow the instructions given, the artist trashed $1000 worth of materials because they didn’t care enough to put personal effort into it.
*This is not your fault*
It’s possible that, (i) she got the wrong resin to start with, (ii) she let the materials sit too long, (iii) she didn’t give you the correct instructions, (iv) she didn’t give you the right tools, or (v) she screwed up some other aspect and is looking for a scapegoat.
In the end, none of this matters - the failure here is hers and hers alone. It’s her stuff, and she didn’t hire you as an expert or make certain you were skilled in mixing this material.
Squigglepig52: I totally agree.
My Dad told me about a time at a body shop he was doing some work in, that dealt with sports cars.
The kid of one employee was told to strip the paint off a Corvette, with some sort of paint stripper compound. Kid applies it to the complete side of he car, goes to lunch.
Said compound was very much apply and immediately wipe down surface, like, super fast.
corvettes have fiberglass bodies. Thinner ate into the body panels.
things got ugly.
| 3 | 15.333333 | |
1672900416 | 1672901308 | t3_103rw2t | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating my partner out and catching COVID
[deleted]
camlaw63: You aren’t serious, Jesus, how dopey can a person be? You have Covid, so do I, my symptoms started with a tickle in my thought, they got worse, I didn’t eat anyone out.
leeditsu: Never claimed to be smart and specified i am probably wrong lmao
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1672900175 | 1673027756 | t3_103rtcl | t5_2to41 | 4,261 | Historical_Panic_465: TIFU by dunking my hand into a tub of water to grab a fallen surge protector
This happened 3 days ago. No need to tell me how insanely stupid I am....trust me, I am sooo very aware....
I had a surge protector sitting sort of haphazardly behind my aquarium, had a big tub of water next to my aquarium with some driftwood soaking. I walked by and noticed the surge protector was just casually laying at the bottom of the tub of water. I have absolutely no idea how long it was sitting like that or how it even fell in...I panicked and without even thinking, I dunked my hand right in to grab the cord. STUPID, STUPID!!
ZAAAPP straight up my arm, jolted my entire body and I could hardly even let go of the cord. I'm *shocked* I'm alive...ba dum tssss. 3 days later and Ive still randomly been getting these nerve shocks up my arm, it hurts..
TL;DR- I’m an absolute moron and shocked myself by dunking my hand into a tub of water to grab a surge protector. 3 days later I still feel random zaps going up my arm. It hurts. That's all. That's the whole story.
sa_kiwi: As an electrician by trade, these are the sort of shocks we go to the doctor for. People in our line of work have died a couple of days after shocks like these. It has the potential... to disrupt your heart beat rythm which could lead to strokes or cardiac arrest. Please get yourself checked by a physician.
Historical_Panic_465: That’s probably a good idea…. Do you know what sort of tests the dr would have to do?
Random_Guy_47: This is not the time to ask further questions on Reddit, this is the time to haul ass to the nearest hospital.
Noesiph: Yea but if he's american is not that simple
MrGiantGentleman: No, it still is. If it’s life or death, you go and figure it out afterwards. There are options after the fact if you don’t have insurance.
djkeenan: Not so many options if you stay at home and die xD
Usof1985: It is slightly cheaper though.
bektator: Only slightly, funerals are also stupid expensive
PICONEdeJIM: Yeah but not my problem if I'm dead
Didisaythatoutloud72: So you are one of those people that don't give a shit if it doesn't negatively affect you? I hope the people in you life have figured out what a really great person you are.
PICONEdeJIM: Calm down. I'm only joking
| 12 | 355.083333 | |
1674803979 | 1674874559 | t3_10mezqm | t5_2to41 | 20,293 | littlepeanut457: TIFU by letting my bf go down on me and having my mom walk in on us
I’ve read stories about this on here but never thought I could contribute, and I don’t think I can look my mom in the eye sockets ever again.
Me (21 f) and my bf (24 m) don’t have a place of our own at the moment so we don’t have a lot of places to do the bump and jiggy. We were cuddling in my parents basement and things started to get a little shhteamy, and hands and faces started to wander. It was late at night and I thought “oh what the hell, my parents are sleeping anyway” and my bf went down on me. However, whilst he was devouring my ham sandwich my mom thought that would be a great time to take down some clothes to the laundry room.
She screamed, I screamed, my bf sadly didn’t get any ice cream. It was terrible and now I’m just hiding out in my basement cause my mom ran up the stairs and hasn’t said a word to me since.
TL;DR me and my bf decided to get freaky, and my mom caught us. I won’t be able to speak to her for at least a year
Edit-I apologize for my use of ham sandwich and bump and jiggy, it won’t happen again! I didn’t think many people would see this 😂
chaos021: Now you gotta walk in on your parents to even things up.
littlepeanut457: I have walked in on them bumping uglies before! So I guess I was just getting my revenge
chaos021: But did you run screaming from the room?!
partthethird: "just letting you guys know we're out of milk"
*Stands in corner eating cereal*
startrackerJ: You laugh, but I've actually had a 32 year old guy do this, he was a friend of the woman I was hooking up with who wandered in. Then he just stood there eating dry cereal with a spoon. I realized after I wasn't the most autistic person in the room for once. That day I also learned I'm definitely not an exhibitionist, and definitely wouldn't do porn. He and I definitely had a one-on-one chat about boundaries after, and appropriate response to walking in on someone.
thepenis_mightier: .....why did you keep going??
startrackerJ: Can't leave a job almost finished... That's just laziness /s. I really liked her and didn't want to disappoint! Also refer back to I'm autistic as shit. My default response is almost always to avoid upsetting anyone even if I'm uncomfortable. It was so bizarre my brain didn't compute entirely I think, so I just ignored it as best I could, despite his asking questions as though we were playing a board game he was curious about. Never bought that cereal again, even though it was one I previously liked a lot. Which is a totally logical response.
True_Kapernicus: How did the lady respond?
chubbybaldblackguy: This is the question that needs to be answered
MrRogersAE: No, the real question is what type of cereal was it, I need to know in case I ever want to watch people have sex, apparently there’s a correct snack choice already.
chubbybaldblackguy: That’s a good point. I’m guessing it can’t be too healthy…I’d have to say maybe Frosted Flakes. Or maybe Fruity Pebbles…
MrRogersAE: You definitely don’t want anything too crunchy, you don’t want it overpowering the sounds of the mating, but you also don’t want anything that will go soft too quickly, like a movie, you don’t want your snacks to run out before the climax
Neverturnlib: I'm going to chime in here with lucky charms. count chocula may also be a viable substitute.
| 14 | 1,449.5 | |
1672905202 | 1672905517 | t3_103t90z | t5_2to41 | 39 | freezerkeys: TIFU by accidentally leaving my keys in the freezer
[removed]
Giovanna3081: I left my phone in the fridge once also did my head in 😂
freezerkeys: Oh no, I can totally relate! I've had my fair share of kitchen-related forgetfulness as well. I once left a batch of cookies in the oven for so long that they turned into charcoal. And don't even get me started on the time I left the milk out on the counter for so long that it turned into cheese. At least leaving your phone in the fridge can be easily remedied. Just make sure to grab it before you close the door next time! :)
| 3 | 13 | |
1674805893 | 1674808512 | t3_10mfgnr | t5_2to41 | 10 | zFreQuenCy: TIFU by saying to my girlfriend that she is “special baggage”
[removed]
addstunt: How is this a fuck up
Psycho_Kronos: He forgot to record it and claim the title "Comedy Genius".
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1674806871 | 1674808279 | t3_10mfpdq | t5_2to41 | 8 | mediumwellbeefsteak: TIFU by getting scared
English is not my native language , sorry if I made mistakes )
I ( 19 M ) am a music producer . I just graduated from a little school of music production here and I've been working on music ( producing , playing and making my own songs ) since I was 14. Today I found an email send by my own email in the Spam box . Someone had my gmail password and they were telling me that If I didn't give them $ 1800 in bitcoin they will expose photos of me m4sturbating cuz they had access to my cameras . I don't watch pom that often and when I do I know for a fact that the camera is not pointing at my D or my face . But I really got scared of the fact that they had my password . Previous to this I had a problem downloading a plugin . It was a D - Drum that I really wanted but couldn't afford , so I searched how to get it for free . I ended up in very suspicious pages and since then I've been thinking that I might got a Virus on my pc . Back to today , I read that email and my mind goes white . I didn't know what to do , I was shaking like a chihuaha , I was about to throw up and the only thing that came to my mind was to reset every device that had my google account . I reset my PC , my laptop and my cellphone . Now I started to search about this and turns out this meant nothing . The email was 15 days old and the password was an old password . I looked in youtube and every video says that is nothing , that all you had to do is change your password , put some security on your google account and not use the same password for every website .
I felt like my dream of becoming a musician is over. 5 years of hard work. 5 years of hours late at night trying to learn new techniques and trying to make the best songs posible. It's all gone now.
I lost everything , I lost all my photos , I lost the videos that I made and the thing that hurts me the most , I lost all my musical projects . More than 100 song ideas that were going to see the light some day . I lost it all . My band and I were about to launch our first single and it's gone . But Im not giving up .
I do have a backup and it's inside in my head . I remeber most of the songs ( at least the ones with most potential ) and when I feel better I'll go to that computer and start working keep my dream up .
And for those who try to scam people or do this bad things . Be better at life , bro . Where do you see yourself after ? You think you can be happy knowing what you do ? How many people you harm ? You can't do this forever , can you ?.
TL;DR I just deleted all my musical projects because I got scared of a scam email. I feel destroyed.
Mr__Cuddles_: Tbh not having hard copies of your data or your music somewhere is kind of on you.
mediumwellbeefsteak: Yeah I know. I just bought my PC so all the projects were in my laptop, so I thought my laptop was the backup, but I just deleted everything
Mr__Cuddles_: Why wouldn't you at least send your music data somewhere before wiping your laptop? The email was about 15 days old, why were you in such an hurry, if something were to happen no one would wait that long, unless they don't have blackmail material and he only try to bag fools who react before thinking. Sorry, I'm as frustrated as you, you wasted so much time
mediumwellbeefsteak: Man I know I could've done many things to save everything but my mind just got white. I was so damn scared that I did the only thing I thought was right. I want to travel to the past and punch me in the balls but the damage is done
| 5 | 1.6 | |
1672905452 | 1672952837 | t3_103tbid | t5_2to41 | 632 | bluecitrus0366: TIFU by making my family think I died on Christmas Day.
My parents and my partners parents are both separated so needless to say, we have a very busy holiday. I needed to be up at around 7am to start the day and so I set many, many alarms. However, my partner and I decided to have a few drinks the night before and ended up passing out for the evening. I must’ve been in a very deep sleep because I do not remember any of my alarms going off, or me turning them off in my sleep. Here’s the fun part, the iPhone has a function where, if you press the side button a certain number of times, it calls 911, sends an emergency message to your emergency contacts, and sends your location to them. This happened at the ripe hour of 7:30am on Christmas Day all while I am sound asleep. I wake up to the sound of my doorbell ringing over and over and constant, aggressive banging on the front door. I woke up in a panic, thought the house was being broken into, and peeked outside. I see my frantic father and stepmother on the porch. I step out and ask wtf is going on and they said “check your phone”. I had tons of messages and missed calls. My family legitimately thought I had potentially died at 7am on Christmas Day. Happy Holidays!
TLDR: I snoozed my alarms, accidentally called police and sent an emergency message to my family on Christmas morning. Resulting in them showing up to my home thinking I’m dead.
Decryptic__: What if you really died, and the annoying doorbell and banging on the door brought you back to life? /s
Now, seriously, I'm also a heavy sleeper, so I feel that.
I missed my alarms all the times and that's really annoying.
bluecitrus0366: Honestly, I felt like death the rest of the day. Nothing to get you going like an immediate panic attack upon waking up!
whodatus: Dude it's literally the worst, just happened to me the other day. It's what I imagined being born felt like.
| 4 | 158 | |
1674812317 | 1674840637 | t3_10mgzff | t5_2to41 | 92 | Solid-Effective-457: TIFU by keeping some stickers I bought as a joke a bit too close to some more important items
So first, a little background: My friends and I have a bit of a dirty/raunchy sense of humor. As a joke, I recently ordered a small roll of stickers that sort of look medical grade-ish and read “for anal use only”. I was recently out with friends and put the roll of stickers in my bag to sneakily place on items like keys, phones, water bottles etc. Got my one friend a couple of times and we all had a good laugh. He still hasn’t figured out who exactly is doing it.
Now on to the fuck up: today, I went to get a new driver’s licence as I semi-recently moved states. I placed all the necessary documents I needed to prove citizenship, name, address etc. in my bag. As I’m sure we all know where this is going, I completely forgot that I had this role of stickers in there too. Soooo, wouldn’t you know, while I’m at the DMV, I’m asked to provide the necessary documentation and I pull out the papers and pass them to the clerk. Of course, sitting right at the top of my passport is a sticker reading “for anal use only.”
The clerk looked very confused and concerned (rightly so), and I quickly removed the sticker. She asked no questions but handled my passport a bit more gingerly than I’d expect she normally does. We did not speak of it. This poor lady is likely someone’s grandma. At the end, however, she told me I was finished and said “All set, here are your *important* documents back. Please *do* take care of them.”
I’m dying on the inside. Not a major fuck up, but one nonetheless and I figured people could get a laugh from it
TL;DR: I purchased some stickers reading “for anal use only” as a joke with friends, kept them in my bag, and then one of them ended up on my passport when I gave it to the clerk at the DMV.
Cornflakes_91: embarrasing to be part of the interaction.
hilarious to be a bystander in the know xD
Solid-Effective-457: Glad to be of service haha
| 3 | 30.666667 | |
1674814010 | 1674871328 | t3_10mhdts | t5_2to41 | 1,430 | marshmachete: TIFU by reading TIFU
[removed]
FlyGuy_2000: TIFU by having multiple orgasms in the same room as my best friend while sucking my boyfriend's dick. I am a straight male.
TheShroudedWanderer: I wish they were at least interesting, like "TIFU by losing the key to my chastity cage" you know, put some spice into it
WhyRYourPantsOff: Instructions unclear. I put hot sauce in my chastity cage to make it spicy. TIFU
TheShroudedWanderer: Ffs don't you know anything? You're supposed to use icy-hot. Honestly, did you even gradute sub-school?
monkeyhind: PS: Do [not](https://youtu.be/Le-IKCLGT9A) put Icy Hot or Ben Gay on your genitals.
TheShroudedWanderer: I have so many questions, one of which is where this happened because I don't want to go there and risk catching "the stupids"
Q1) why on earth would you take the initiative to eat 3 week old pizza? Like I at least get eating it as a challenge, still not smart but whatever, but the kid who went "hmm I wanna eat this manky old pizza" has issues
Q2) why would you think putting on more of the thing causing you intense pain and discomfort would reduce it?
Q3) what kind of person cares about embarrassment to the point they'll lie to hospital staff when they're on deaths door step?
monkeyhind: Yeah it's a crazy story I happened to stumble across. I have no idea where it was.
| 8 | 178.75 | |
1672914370 | 1672958803 | t3_103vojg | t5_2to41 | 573 | AnotherCumDumpster: TIFU by Going to Couples Counseling
My partner and I have been together for ten years, starting out as high school sweethearts. Over time, our intimacy has gone down and what used to basically be a nightly occurrence has trickled down to once a month at best. We’ve discussed this a few times over the years as I noticed the lack of intimacy and while would pick up a bit for the first little bit after I mentioned something, we would return back to the once a month occurrence.
Finally I suggested we go to couples counseling and she agreed. We just had our first session and… oh man.
It started out pretty normally, starting out with the more mundane things before going into the deeper stuff. When we finally got there, I shared my ongoing frustrations with our sex life. At first she deflected with her usual excuses: she’s always tired, we’re never home together, the birth control is lowering her libido.
We had a small pause and I’ll never forget these next few minutes. After about a minute of silence, the therapist finally asked my partner, “And there’s nothing else that could be causing it?”
I guess that snapped something in her, as my partner immediately turned and glared and me. She said this next sentence with vitriol I’ve never heard her have towards anything else in the world. “He also plays this **stupid** song after _every time_ we do it.”
This was where it clicked. Back in high school, the band The Lonely Island was popular and my buddy Steve and I made a pact that we would listen to “I just had Sex” by The Lonely Island after we lost our virginity.
I met my partner after this pact, we were both virgins, and we decided one night that we would pop each other's cherries. After the awkward first time, I loaded the song up on my MP3 player and played it, right there as we cuddled. She laughed and thought it was funny.
And so I guess I got it in my head that she liked the song. This was reinforced by the fact that she kept laughing when the song played after our escapades for the first week or so, and then would smile after that. I just assumed she thought it was a cute tradition, or she was remembering our first time.
And so we’ve listened to that song. Every single time. And now I found out, she’s not a fan.
I sullenly vowed to never play the song again and paid the therapist. Hopefully this will be the restart of a beautiful relationship.
Tldr – spent ten years listening to a song after sex, turns out my partner hates it.
edit: As many others have suggested, we're still doing couples counseling. Obviously, if we weren't able to communicate well on a song after sex, there are probably other things that have been left unsaid, and maybe this therapist will help us reach a new level of understanding. Thanks for your tips and jokes in the comments, y'all.
twirlingpink: Is your name Chris? If so, I think I dated you like 10 years ago lol.
4DoorsMoreVVhores: Thats not possible, he has only had sex with his girlfriend
twirlingpink: I didn't have sex with the Chris I'm referring to.
Protean_Protein: Sounds like you missed out on something that would have been hilarious once.
twirlingpink: He was annoying, manipulative, and cringey. I didn't miss out on anything.
Protean_Protein: That’s what I mean.
| 7 | 81.857143 | |
1674815871 | 1674844748 | t3_10mhu50 | t5_2to41 | 108 | wyldstalyn6: TIFU by sexting a stranger
This actually did happen less than 12 hours ago. I (M30) got home from work and was feeling a little lonely as my wife and I recently separated so I went on Omegle. Came across a reasonably cute girl and we chatted for a minute, she asked to take it to text so I agreed, she sends me a head shot I do the same, she pumps me up, says I’m cute and whatnot then sends me a nude and asks for the same. Now mind you I’m not the best looking, I’d say average so her gassing me up really felt great in my current state. Anyway, she tells me how sexy I am and that I should go to her IG and pick out my favorite pic so I go and request her and after about 5 minutes later “they” come back with screenshots of messages to all most closest friends and family on IG demanding $500 or they’ll send my nudes out, now not only do I not have the money but I know how this works, I send the money, they ask for more then ends up sending the nudes anyway so I just block them on everything and hope for the best. Nope. They freaking did, they sent my nudes to at least 6 people and that’s all I know of, my sister, my coworker, my friends wife. I’m mortified, how could I be so dumb.
TL;DR I got scammed and humiliated after sending nudes to a stranger
werter318: Sheeesh, if this actually happened I feel so bad for you… What a world we live in
wyldstalyn6: In all honesty I guess I should’ve known better in today’s world but I was not in a good head space.
werter318: How did the people that received them react?
wyldstalyn6: Not sure, my sister called me, angry that someone could be this cruel, nobody else has mentioned it
TheDMisalwaysright: It's 2023 and things like this are common, . Most people will react like this, possibly with a 'he should have known better though' thrown in but that's not that bad to deal with.
Expected fallout is some awkward jokes, some support and no real negative effects, so I wouldn't beat yourself up (or off) about it.
| 6 | 18 | |
1672919354 | 1672920346 | t3_103x2jr | t5_2to41 | 10 | actually_iceman: TIFU by doing donuts in the snow...
I wanted to start this off with a very miniscule amount of information. I've grown up in the Sierra Nevada Mountains my whole life, and I've been raised through some very heavy winters. Around 3 years ago when I got my license, I told myself I'd make a tradition out of ripping some donuts every time a major snowstorm came through. Anyways, here goes. This only occurred around 5 or 6 hours ago. I feel pretty fucking stupid and I feel like the only way I'll achieve peace of mind is if I share it to a bunch of strangers on the internet at 3:11 AM PST. So this all starts off earlier today (January 4th, 2023). My 2 friends (who I'll call J and E) and I were all recently mourning the loss of world-famous rally driver, Ken Block. We had spent the evening sitting down and watching all of his Gymkhana videos back to back, and for me at least, it was deeply emotional to watch. He was a childhood inspiration for me and one of the main reasons I was obsessed with rally racing as a kid. E ended up having to leave after the Gymkhana Marathon so J and I decided to go get some snacks and chill out for the rest of the night. However, while we were out on our snack run, I came up with the bright idea to rip some donuts in the snow as a memento to Ken. J seemed to think it was a fun way of honoring him and we set about finding an empty parking lot nearby. At first, we went to the parking lot of our local regional park and decided to take turns spinning in circles in my beloved '98 Jeep Cherokee. All went relatively smooth, and nothing too eventful happened at that particular parking lot. J decided to hop behind the wheel and he asked me "so what do you want to do now?"
I replied, "I'm honestly not sure. I think we should head back to your house and chill, but I'm up for whatever you want to do."
He then told me "I kinda want to find another parking lot to do donuts in cause I'm in a bit of an exploring mood."
I then got a bright idea. At the top of our local mountain pass which connects to a larger city in Nevada, there's a parking lot which is always empty at night and has tons of snow for goofing around in. It seemed like a harmless, fun idea, yet again. This was a tradition for us around these parts of the sierras. So we drove up there, having philosophical conversations the entire way up. We stopped up at the top and admired the amount of snow piled up. It was a good 5 or 6 feet of solid ice on either side of us, with a 60-70 foot wide lot covered in slick, powdery snow. Perfect spot to rip a few donuts. J went first, and did his donuts nice and controlled, staying well within the walls of ice and still treating my old Jeep somewhat kindly...
Then it was my turn, and I had images of Gymkhana flying through my head. I knew I had to make these the best damn donuts I'd ever made in my entire life. For Ken. Instead of opting for the safe, much more controllable 2wd donuts, I had the not-so-bright-idea to pop it into 4wd and try doing some side-to-side drifts in this empty lot. It started off somewhat smooth, but quickly I got too much angle and I couldn't get the Jeep back into a straight line. I turned towards the full opposite direction of the slide and stomped on the brakes, but it was too late. The events were already set into motion, and I was helpless behind the wheel. I saw the 6' tall wall of ice slowly, yet steadily getting closer to the front end of my Jeep.
5 Mississippi... 4 Mississippi... 3 Mississippi... 2 Mississippi... 1 Mississippi...
*Crunch*
The front end of my Jeep had smashed into the wall at around 15 mph, and I heard a distinctive crunch. I immediately backed out and hopped out of the Jeep, running towards the front. J followed suit. I initially thought I got lucky until I saw the shattered yellow glass all over the snow from my Hella Amber fog lights. Then I looked closer, and the driver's side headlight was completely loose and misaligned. The entire driver's side of my front end was slightly crooked, and the fender had been completely fucked by the impact. Now, one thing about older Cherokees like mine, unlike other jeeps, is that they don't have a separate body and frame. The body *is* the frame, which means any misalignment of body panels can mean frame damage, which can absolutely total a Cherokee. Not to mention, my Jeep is painted a very unique color as it was an old forest service unit, so it's a bright, minty green... And it's also impossible to find fenders in that color.
Needless to say, my drive home was pretty awful. I loved this car a ton, and to see it damaged in the way it was could almost be likened to seeing a hurt puppy. I had wrecked something I really, really cared about, all cause I was being extremely stupid and did something that could have easily been avoided. I guess I'll post an update on what I find when I tear the front end apart later today... Praying that everything is somewhat fixable...
TL:DR: I tried to rip donuts like Ken Block with my Jeep in 4WD and smashed into an ice wall, possibly causing serious damage to a car I really, really care about (despite how it sounds)
Prof_NoLife: Guess lesson learned
actually_iceman: Was it learned? Yes. The easy way? Definitely not...
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1672919803 | 1672935993 | t3_103x6xc | t5_2to41 | 190 | Ohquinn: TIFU by working out too hard at the gym causing a massive psychiatric crisis
The work out occured on Monday, and the meltdown occured yesterday. I'll start from the beginning...
I have had ongoing mental health issues since I was 18, I've been on and off medications for it for years and I had just crossed the one year mark of being medication free when I realized my anxiety was crossing the line into interfering with completing daily tasks of living. So, I got with a psychaitrist and was newly diagnosed with ADHD and put on three new medications. This was in early December, so I've been patiently waiting for the effects to take place... but I haven't felt a damn thing yet. My existence feels like I'm constantly fighting the current of a raging river, no motovation, no happy feeling, just anxiety and dread about having to do the things necessary to stay alive. But fret not, I *did* have hope that it would get better soon. The new meds will be kicking in soon, right? I'll feel inspired and motivated again, just give it time.
Added side note, in the span of December 18 to now my foster kittens were dianosed with panleuk and passed away, and I got a gnarly cold the next day and spent Christmas sick as a dog, I've lost my appetite and have been losing weight on an already small frame (112 to 107), and I've had GI cramping day in and day out spending lots of time in the bathroom, and I started my period three days ago. It hasn't been going well for me. But again, I had *hope* that I would start to feel better.
So, I signed up for a fancy new gym to work on my physical health as an aid to my mental health and they had a free introductory training session with a personal trainer, which was scheduled on Monday. I dragged myself to the gym, made it through the workout, and the last exercise was calf raises. I wanted to be done so badly that I powered through those things. 60 calf raises with 80 lbs on my shoulders (for someone who is a complete beginner at the gym and hasn't truly exercised in about 12 years, this was hard.) I went home and didn't move the rest of the day. Repeat not moving the next day, because mental illness. Mental state is declining but I'm still holding it together.
I woke up yesterday morning, planted my feet on the floor, stood up, and immediately wobbled straight to the floor in agony. I cannot *believe* how sore my calves are. I had a moment of panic. I can't move. The one thing I had going for me is that I could walk around my house. How am I going to get to the bathroom? My drum lessons? I have to get to the kitchen and feed the cats, how can I get this done? I gripped the edge of the bed and slowly pulled myself up, legs shaking and swaying. I hobble through the room, moving around the bed, grabbing the desk chair, pulling myself along the dresser. My body contorted into the ugliest troll under the bridge walk possible. I touched my calves, the skin is even sore to the touch. Okay, maybe a hot shower will help. I hop in the shower hunched over and try to accomplish washing myself...
Then I *snapped*. I started sobbing. Ugly snotty crying while trying to get through this shower. I continued to sob for an hour and a half, the most awful thoughts running through my head. I had no motivation to do anything before, and now I can't even use my minimal energy to move about the house. I am effectively a barnacle. Alive? Technically. But I can't move. It all started crashing down, one bad thought leading to another. "I can't do it anymore" was repeating in my head over and over, I started panicking. The last month of hope had vanished. I was hopeless. I was scared. Will I never feel better? Am I never going to be happy again? And if so, how will life be worth living? I cannot overstate how absolutely scared of my brain that I was. I get on the phone and call my psychiatrists office asking for an emergency appointment through my snotty sobs. Thankfully she was available and I got a virtual appointment and doubled the dose of all my medications.
To tell my psychiatrist that I had a full blown mental health crisis because of sore calves from working out was mildy humiliating to say the least, but I am grateful I have her help when I need it. Today I woke up with hope again, calves still sore, but I intend to stay hopeful until I start to feel better. I'm not sure what the moral of this story is, but I needed to get it out because now, the next morning, I'm kind of laughing at myself that it all happened the way it did.
tl;dr: Ongoing mental health issues reached a terrifying peak yesterday after I worked out too hard and had really sore calves, renerding myself utterly immobile.
Ok_Detective5412: Keep monitoring your mood carefully and stay in touch with your psychiatrist. If you have another meltdown, talk to your doc about tapering off and trying a different med. Some psych medications (frustratingly) can cause a sudden worsening of symptoms that sometimes leads to harmful/destructive behaviours.
Ohquinn: We set up an appointment for next week to monitor, and another appointment the week after. I have a daily log of the meds I take, and how I felt that day since December 16 so I'm making sure to keep a close eye on things :)
Ok_Detective5412: That’s a relief. Things can shift so quickly, it’s really frightening.
| 4 | 47.5 | |
1674820550 | 1674834111 | t3_10mj21m | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU By asking my girlfriends mum if they eat dogs in China
[deleted]
RissoldeChocolate: Damn bro, idk if I could ever move on after such a colossal FU. I hope you can cope all your life with such a devastating fail.
Carliios: Christ never heard of such a big fuckup since I’ve joined Reddit. Truly. Wow.
| 3 | 6 | |
1674820134 | 1674824585 | t3_10miy6w | t5_2to41 | 23 | EffectLive97: TIFU by falling asleep after the first alarm
This happened about 8 hours ago and I am still heartbroken about it.
​
For context an important detail, I work the night shift at my job from 10:00pm-6:00am. It takes me about 15 minutes to get to my job and I normally wake up before or around 9:00 and leave around the same time.
​
I have a woman friend who I met at work and who I deeply love and care about, we used to work on the same shift (2nd shift, which is from 2pm- 10pm) but due to a recent argument I switched to 3rd because things between us was just getting too complicated.
​
Ever since I switched shifts I have missed her dearly and I am always worried if she is ok because she struggles with her life and her past a lot. I missed being there for her when she needed me and knowing how she was doing.
​
With the weather getting worse where I'm at, the snow is starting to pick up and I regularly had to clean my windshields. This would sometimes take about a minute or so but I really never minded it.
​
However, I know that my friend at work likes to leave as soon as shes off the clock, so everyday that it snowed I would pray that the snow would keep falling until I showed up to work around 10:00pm because I just wanted to wipe her windshields for her if they were covered.
​
The entire week it has snowed during 3rd shift(10p-6a) but not during 2nd shift (2p-10p) so everyday I would come to work and her car would be snowless.
​
Today I wake up at around 9:00 and since I only got 4 hours of sleep (due to gaming) I ended up falling back to sleep. I closed my eyes for what felt like a second and when I opened them again it was 9:40.
​
I quickly get ready and leave about 9:45, when I step outside I realize it has been snowing, I don't think too much about it because I figured the snow was from before I went to sleep.
​
I am driving to work and I just barely made it at 10:00pm. However When I come into the parking lot my heart sinks as I see her car is covered in snow. I wanted to wipe it off, but since my job is cracking down on attendance and I normally have to relieve someone from their position. I went inside to clock in and look at the schedule.
​
Thankfully I was put on a machine that is run by itself and all I have to do is press a button and it will run.
​
so once I see that. I go back outside to wipe her car off. But by that time it is too late, I am walking out of the building to get my windshield wiper and I see her, standing in the snow, wiping her car off herself.
​
I know this may seem silly, but I love this girl and I just wanted to show her that I still care about her even though I'm we had a fight. The ONE time it snows on her shift and I screw things up because I went to bed too late and didn't have time to do it.
​
She had finished wiping her car in seconds and she's no damsel in distress, she doesn't need me. I just wanted to show her kindness . But I don't know how something so insignificant Could make me feel so shitty.
​
Like I wasn't there for her
​
TLDR: I have been waiting all week for snow to be on my friends car because I wanted to wipe her windshield off for her, today it finally snowed on her car but I fell asleep after my first alarm for work went off and she ended up wiping her windshield off herself.
​
1.
smellycoat: Jesus fucking christ talk to her!
GingerIsTheBestSpice: And get some more sleep!
| 3 | 7.666667 | |
1672922866 | 1672939984 | t3_103y4iq | t5_2to41 | 28 | Hun_nehh: TIFU by believing the company didn't test for thc
On a personal note, I have ptsd with survivor guilt from being force into the child sex industry. It took a long time to be able to accept what happen and weed was able to help me progress.
Earlier in 2022, I got fired from my job and got rejected by unemployment services. Luckily I found a temp ad that was paying for an amount I've never thought I would be able to achieve. I sent in my application and gave it a shot. I ended up getting the job and loved it.
My contract ended for that job assignment and was given the chance to join the company. I was told by my leads that the company doesn't discriminate against pot smokers. Well it ended up being a lie and got fired for testing positive for thc. I was naive enough into believing a false narrative that I wanted to believe in. I'm upset for losing the opportunity to still be employed, especially at a place I actually liked.
I wont quit smoking pot, not yet. I'm getting mentally and emotionally better. And one day, I'll find a job I like that won't make me feel like shit because im trying to better myself.
Tl;dr was told the company I was temping at didn't drug test for thc, they did and got terminated.
Plastic-You-786: Don't be so hard upon yourself, it really was not your fault. Is there any way you could maybe get a medical prescription for the use of pot so that a similar thing doesn't happen to you anymore?
I.e. a doctor that prescribes the THC usage for PTSD? :)
if not, there are plenty companies that don't discriminate against it!
Hang in there!
shoulda-known-better: Not sure about all states but most even when it's legal have absolutely no protections for working people, prescription or not.....
DadToOne: When it became legal in states the last company I worked for had offices in, we were all sent an email letting us know that it was still a fireable offense.
freakingtracking: I know in NY they made it illegal for companies to even test for pot use unless your company falls under federal regulations (dot, military, etc.)
Edit: grammar
browtfareyoudoing: Makes sense, rents pretty high there haha
| 6 | 4.666667 | |
1674823362 | 1674912326 | t3_10mjvpl | t5_2to41 | 4,247 | eschmaria2: TIFU by abruptly stopping my volunteer work with pelicans, probably ruining my career
Made a throwaway to get advice on this elsewhere previously but it's become clear it's more of a TIFU than anything else...
I study zoology in University, and as part of our degree we're supposed to get a certain amount of field experience (also most good zoos / animal internships demand it).
So when our ornithology professor mentioned a volunteer opportunity with pelicans through some local group, I thought that sounded cool and I signed up, and was one of two students chosen.
It was supposed to be us 2 and a professional helping to "band" young pelicans for research, where you slip a little band around their ankle that's unobtrusive to the birds but useful for tracking purposes.
So the three of us got out to the island, for a long day of pelican-banding. The professional showed us how to do it and how to deal with an uncooperative pelican, and then I gave it a try on one and did it right...but then the third pelican I tried it on vomited all over me as I was doing it.
I let it go and started gagging, and felt really nauseated. My whole lap and shirt were covered in it and the smell was horrendous. I just sat there retching and trying to wipe it off but to not much avail.
After a few minutes the professional said "Hey, come on, we've got a lot more to do...I've been puked on too already, nothing to worry about." But I said no, I'm not going to go get puked on 10 more times today while doing this, I can't handle that. He got annoyed and said "really, you're going to leave 3 people's work with just 2 people for the day? We said it would be messy work," I thought well, not this messy...
So I just sort of sat there for a few hours while they worked and tried to distract myself from my vomit-stained shirt with my phone until it was time to leave...the trip back was hell too, they both stunk so bad I couldn't take it.
Needless to say my professor is mad at me but I'm not sure what I was supposed to do, I would have gotten sick myself if I kept at it...
Just today I met with him to try to smooth it over with him, he said he understood why I felt sick but that I probably wouldn't be getting any other volunteer opportunities for the time being...which, since those seem to be needed for internships and jobs, means I might be screwed
TLDR; Volunteered to band pelicans but quit once one puked on me, probably ruined my career aspirations
ThrowRAnew4: I think they're doing you a favor though. You wanted to be a **zookeeper** of all things? You have to be a special kind of crazy about animals to put yourself through the disgusting smells and messes they have to endure on a daily basis.
biftht: Honest question from another (like OP) zoology student: I know we often get warned the smells in this line of work are "bad" but just how bad is "bad?"
I've always sort of laughed it off and thought no way could a bad smell really be an obstacle to people's dream job like some people act like, but then I hear stories like OP's and...huh, it seems like maybe for some people it really is. Or even for a lot of people.
But people learn to deal with gross stuff from their kids, or from their pets. It's just that much worse or stronger at a zoo to a point where people physically aren't able to do that?
unitednationsofdying: those smells will live in your pores after you work long enough. was good friends with a zookeeper (she did big cats). no amount of showers remove the smells that build up all day entirely. she had a change of clothes she would keep at work so she could shower and change before getting into her car and it still only made a small dent. i can say anyone working with any of the aquatic animals (god forbid you work with the otters) has it way way way worse.
Tuga_Lissabon: Didn't know it got into you.
Must make dating very much something they do in the profession...
JohnnyGranite: I vaguely recall a reddit thread about just this.
A boyfriend was distraught because he just could not handle the smell of his zookeeper girlfriend and the smells were completely unbearable.
Nointerest12months: I knew I had seen or heard that shit somewhere, you're exactly right, dude said they went on a date and they talked about it and then the girl didn't scrub for hours for the next date or something and he was horribly put off... Something like that I think.
FoldedButterfly: I think it was that she was previously arranging dates for days that she did the less smelly animals, and when she mentioned that to him he said not to go to that kind of trouble. So they started seeing each other more often, regardless of which animal she'd just cleaned, and even though she showered multiple times it wasn't enough.
It's mind-blowing to me that you can smell so bad that soap doesn't fix it.
witchnyc8537: Y’all need to learn the power of white vinegar. It’s a game changer. Not sure if it would work in that situation but white vinegar is powerfully good at neutralizing bad smell.
maryfamilyresearch: It won't work.
One of my friends is a zookeeper. She tried white vinegar ages ago. All it ever did was ruin her clothes, bc the vinegar breaks down fabric with use.
witchnyc8537: I didn’t mean clothes.
I meant when you shower.
You use white vinegar heavily (usually very cheap) on your body).
For clothes the only thing is to really isolate your clothes like in a bunch of ziplock bags and keep it at work if you can or put it in multiple sealed containers in your car. And only have certain work clothes and everywhere else clothes.
But if the stench is hanging around it does mean it’s hanging in your hair and skin in some way. White vinegar will neutralize a lot for that part and our own bodies are good at the rest.
ETA: not sure what your friend did but you need to do a solution with a lot of water and let the clothes soak in a gentle solution and dry it out and redo it for days and the clothes should be fine.
| 11 | 386.090909 | |
1672933994 | 1672955670 | t3_1042by2 | t5_2to41 | 13,964 | HelpMePlz52: TIFU By sending my boss and co-workers multiple Dick Pics
This fuck up happened yesterday and I’m sitting here waiting for the inevitable call from HR.
So a little background, I work a hybrid of two days in the office and three from home. When I’m at home and it’s rather slow as most of our clients are in a quiet period after the holidays, nothing much to do so of course I lounge about all day and move my mouse now and again to make it look like I’m busy. My boss is a middle aged woman who is very old school when it comes to work, she despises WFH and is always looking for ways to get us into the office.
So this yesterday morning I get a call from her saying I’m needed in the office for some reason that is totally do-able from home, I was too tired, a little hungover and had no intentions of going into the office. So I told her I wouldn’t be in today, to which she of course wasn’t happy. So as the day went on she kept sending me stuff that was ‘near deadline’ as punishment for not coming in, it was all stuff that didn’t need to be done anytime soon but she was on a vendetta.
So I worked away at the bare minimum just to show her I was keeping busy, with no ambition of getting it completed. It was all next week’s problems in my eyes, she probably knew that I was doing as such. So in her most evil villainous act she sent me an actual urgent request an hour before I was meant to clock off, now normal such requests should be sent first thing in the morning and are priority over everything else. But since I pissed her off she decided that she would hold off just to make me have to work overtime, a glorious move on her part that I probably deserved.
I rushed through the work and completed it in record time, sent her a copy of the report and logged off. But she wasn’t happy, in my haste I’d forgotten to include a detail breakdown of the work order for our internal records. Something that could have waited until later, but she wasn’t happy and rang me looking for it. I’d already turned off my work computer and was settled down on the sofa to play some call of duty. So here is were the fuck up happened, in my laziness I decided to do the report from my phone. Logged into my emails and added the details she was looking for using the in phone editing function, then attached it and forwarded it on to the whole team.
She just replied back a short ‘Thanks’ and that was it, I was off the clock and ready for a evening of relaxation. After a couple rounds of CoD I notice a couple of notifications on my work phone, what now I thought as I opened them to see what was wrong now. But it was a private message from a co-worker saying ‘Maybe you should double check your screenshots before sending lol’. I rushed to check what he meant, opening the sent attachment to see the hastily edited report. Nothing jumped out at me, hurriedly proof reading over everything revealing nothing out of the ordinary. Until I scrolled further down and my heart nearly stopped, during my attempts to save time on editing the copy of the report I had double screenshoted it. Only the second time my camera roll was on display at the bottom, revealing the pics I had taken in my late night drunken horniness while sexting with a overly expensive online content model. Not only pictures of me jerking off but also videos fucking my fleshlight.
They were poor quality and easily missed, but once spotted it was clear as day what they were, so far only that one co-worker has said anything. But I’m sure everyone has seen my dick by now, as I bet it’s been shared around with everyone or gossiped about. I’m back in the office on Monday and dreading it, even contemplating handing in my notice from embarrassment or even taking a few days sick leave.
EDIT:
Just to clarify a few points that everyone seems to be hung up on, I know I’m not the greatest worker in the world. But I always get my personal tasks completed on schedule and never miss deadlines. January is our quietest month with very little to do, hence why we can slack off so freely. All my main contracted work was done for the week with my two days in the office, I was just pissed that my boss keeps trying to get everyone back to the office for no other reason than to stand and look over shoulders all day. Even though it is very clearly stated in my contact that I wfh 3 days a week, legally she can’t request I come in without notice or in case of emergency of some sort. Which this wasn’t the case, plus the extra work she kept sending wasn’t my responsibility as it wasn’t part of my duties and had no urgency. Her withholding the top priority order was a dick move on her part, knowing full well that I couldn’t log off till it was complete. Even though I could see the order came in the night before.
And on the overly expensive online content model, I have no excuse other than being lonely and horny. Plus being a pathetic fan of Femdom and paying her to control me that free porn just doesn’t scratch anymore.
TL;DR
Got lazy at work and cut some corners to get work done quickly, ended up sending my boss and whole team multiple pictures of me jerking off.
joncording12: Something similar happened in my office. I'd suggest calling your IT department and explain what happened and they'll be able to remotely delete the email from everyone's inbox
unsupported: Unless there is an HR hold. However, IT are usually bros. Source: IT bro
MasksArePatriotic: Idk how big of a company this is but where I manage IT we don't have access to remotely delete or even view mailboxes tied to individuals without a huge amount of process work first
UsualAnybody1807: That's good. The other place with the "IT bros" sounds sketchy.
[deleted]: Most IT companies have access to everyone’s everything or at least someone does, it’s kind of required to be able to manage the networks. Smart companies have a single admin account with full authority that only management can access, and a secondary account with limited access for standard IT folks. If you use office365 for email someone has access to everything you do; teams messages, emails, OneDrive files… the list goes on, there is also an option to recall an email in office365 so you can “unsend” it.
Source: also IT bro
UsualAnybody1807: Okay, who doesn't know that? By the way, you can recall a message, but the recipient still gets the message and has to approve that it gets recalled from their inbox, assuming they haven't already opened it. The guy implied that he would circumvent procedures.
[deleted]: You said it sounded sketchy, I thought that you meant them being able to remove the emails, lots of people don’t know that who aren’t in IT, this isn’t a technical sub, sorry to try and be helpful. Office365 admins can remove emails without being approved by the user: https://learn.microsoft.com/en-us/microsoft-365/compliance/search-for-and-delete-messages-in-your-organization?view=o365-worldwide
UsualAnybody1807: If you go back and read the comment I referred to, the guy was saying he can do something special, because he is an "IT bro." Edit: referred to not replied to
[deleted]: You didn’t refer to anything in particular in your comment, just that he was sketchy, you saying he was sketchy could have meant you thought he was going to go around hacking into everyone’s emails or something ridiculous like a bad 80s movie, I simply pointed out that IT can do this and some IT shops don’t have any restrictions on who can do it. Like I said this is a non technical sub so there are plenty of people who don’t know what can or can’t be done, I simply offered an explanation, so again, sorry to try and be helpful
| 10 | 1,396.4 | |
1674827614 | 1674829840 | t3_10mlct5 | t5_2to41 | 46 | Knoberchanezer: TIFU By perforating my own eardrum.
Let this serve as a lesson to others that I learned the hard way. I' ve been using drops for a few days to help with my earwax issue. The other night my ear got all clogged and it was infuriating. The annoying feeling of my ear being water logged was pissing me off to no end. So me being a stupid twat, I decided it was a good idea to try and clear it out myself. At first I tried to tease it out gently with a Q tip but that didn't really go well so I opted to use one of my son's little medicine syringes. Don't worry, it wasn't a sharp one. Just one that can take some Calpol or other stuff to be given orally. We have loads lying around and I was just going to bin it when I was done. Anyway, you can imagine how well that went. After one or two attempts, I get very dizzy and suddenly lose my hearing on the ear. Blood starts to come out and my poor wife has to come to my rescue and put her First Aid at Work training to some good use. She calls 111 and they ask me to come in. After I repeatedly apologiesed for wasting the poor nurses time, I get a course of antibiotics and a good telling off to not do something so stupid again. No I have an earache and I can't hear for a while and it honestly serves me right.
TLDR; no matter how annoying, itchy or otherwise that it might be, don't put shit in your ears. This has been a lesson learned so you don't have to.
fliguana: Ear pick with camera and silicone tip, $20
Knoberchanezer: Much obliged random Redditor. Alas, it is too late for me now.
fliguana: For surveying damage and cleaning the other ear.
If you see the back of your eye, went too far.
| 4 | 11.5 | |
1674828109 | 1674831209 | t3_10mljv7 | t5_2to41 | 49 | One_Special_6012: TIFU I booked my plane ticket on the wrong date, consequently, I will be missing my grandmother's funeral
This happened earlier and l'm devastated and absolutely hate myself for this. I accidentally got the dates mixed up on my flight.
The moment I found out my grandmother passed (a few hours ago) I was at work, and in the midst of panicking on trying to book my flight home as early as possible because the flights are getting expensive (around $ 90, usually it costs just about $60; i'm on a tight budget and I also have to leave in a few days) and work and try not to cry at the same time, I ended up not checking the date properly and ended up booking on a later date; the day after my grandmother gets buried.
After I've received the confirmation e-mail and checking the details, if finally dawned on me how I fucked up incredibly.
I tried messaging the airlines and they messaged back saying:
"Hi *****! Thank you for waiting. I tried to process the reschedilng for you. However, since the booking was done thru a travel agency, any changes, like rescheduling should be processed by the issuing agent. Especially, for totally unused tickets, as the system will not allow us to proceed."
I used a traveling agency to book my flight because they have a discount if I book with them. I sent them an e-mail about my concern on trying to reschedule my ticket but they informed me that they are unable to help me as any requests regarding the flight booking must be made At least 3 working days prior to my departure.
And here I am now, crying because I cant do anything about it and that I would miss my grandmother's funeral because of a mistake that I made. The only option that I have now is to book another ticket, which I can't afford right now.
I just hate myself for this.
TL;DR
I booked my plane ticket on the wrong date. Because of it, I will be missing my grandmother’s funeral. Only option is to book another ticket but i’m too broke to afford it.
Update:
Thank you so much to u/beknifetoeachother and everyone else for their support and kind messages.
I tried contacting the airlines again and spoke to a different agent. Luckily, I was given a chance to reschedule the flight for about 1/4 of the price (just had to pay for the penalties and the fare difference). I’ve no idea why the previous agent told me I couldn’t reschedule my flight with them though. But i’m just glad that I was finally able to, and it wouldn’t be possible without the help of a kind stranger on this subreddit.
I can now finally come home and see my grandma one last time.
Thank you so much.
beknifetoeachother: $90 is about the cheapest plane ticket I’ve ever seen. Just buy another one and try to get a refund later. In the grand scheme of things you won’t even remember the missing money, but you will the funeral. Shoot me your PayPal and I got $20 to help ya
One_Special_6012: True.. i’m just incredibly broke rn, I’ll try to get a refund later. Thank you so much, the $20 would be very helpful.
beknifetoeachother: Also, any chance you could apply and get approved for a low limit credit card? These are they types of emergencies they are good for
One_Special_6012: I don’t think we have that here in my country, unfortunately
beknifetoeachother: Ah yes, I’m used to the American economy where predatory lending is rampant… but can be useful in small and controlled situations
| 6 | 8.166667 | |
1672936344 | 1672943649 | t3_1043a1m | t5_2to41 | 42 | erraticwtf: TIFU by taking pictures of AP multiple choice practice questions
obligatory this happened last week. My AP teacher, in preparation for a big test, gave us some AP practice multiple choice to do during class. While she left the room for a couple of minutes, I thought it would be a good idea to take pictures of the questions so I can study them at home. Yes, I knew it was illegal. I was not the only student to do this. Someone asked me to send my pictures to them, so I did. A student in our class was out sick for the week, and on the day she came back, saw another student looking at the pictures I sent. She asked our teacher about the questions, leading to me being caught. My teacher is strict. She decided that my consequence would be that I no longer be allowed access to AP practice questions permanently. Obviously, I need practice questions to practice for the AP. After talking with her, she agreed that if I come up with a consequence on the same level as that, I can be allowed practice questions. Reddit, what would a good punishment be that would replace losing access to practice questions?
TL;DR: took pics of ap practice qs, got caught, lost access to practice qs, need help thinking of replacement punishment so I can study for ap
RandoCalrissian11: Something on the same level?
Now you can’t access to Santa’s Naughty/Nice list instead.
You have full access already to AP practice questions. You can get them online, you don’t even need your teacher. You can also purchase them if you wish. Again, you don’t need your teacher.
What you did was attempt to better yourself, not try to cheat on a test.
If the questions are so heavily guarded than the teacher is at fault for leaving the classroom.
It’s a BS punishment for a BS thing.
erraticwtf: I know that but unfortunately my teachers views don’t align. It is true that if it’s found out that questions got released, she would lose her job so it is pretty serious (didn’t know that when I did it). So if u have any ideas lmk
RandoCalrissian11: “You drop the “punishment or I’ll just tell the principal and you’ll be fired and the next teacher will drop the punishment. Balls in your court”
Very simple.
Edit: doubt they will get fired, it doesn’t happen that easily.
erraticwtf: My teacher is the chairman of science
RandoCalrissian11: They should know better than to leave tests unattended. Tsk Tsk.
| 6 | 7 | |
1672937063 | 1672980633 | t3_1043ki9 | t5_2to41 | 613 | MyGoodOpinion: TIFU by pepper spraying my entire family for a bowl of chili
Obligatory this was actually last night but it was in the last 24 hours so I think that counts.
Two things you need to know: My husband loves spicy food, and I love to procrastinate. Apparently these two factors are a perfect storm.
I found a recipe for extra spicy chili and it had an option to put it in your pressure cooker. Pressure cookers decrease cooking time significantly, so obviously I went with that option so I could decide to make it last minute and not wait on it to stew. My husband loves peppers so I thought it would be a good idea to kick it up a notch with double the jalapeños, but when I went to grab them I realized I still had leftover habaneros from another recipe so I diced them up too and into the pot they all went.
Now if you've used a pressure cooker you may already see what I didn’t calculate for. But if not allow me to explain how it works. Pressure cooking is where you have a sealed pot build pressure inside by heating up and capturing the steam from whatever you’re cooking then when it’s done it releases said steam through a top vent to release that pressure.
When that steam is full of various peppers, specifically habaneros apparently, you get homemade pepper spray. But here’s the real catch. It’s not instant it’s a heat that you can breath in first and the burn slowly builds. We were totally fine standing in the kitchen getting the other parts of the dinner ready thinking we were just smelling delicious chili as the room actually filled with *spicy air*. You cough once , twice, and think nothing of it. But by the time all that steam was released and we realized what was going on we were coughing like we’d been smoking 2 packs a day day for the last 20 years and realizing we needed to air out the entire house. On the bright side that was one delicious chili. Worth pepper spraying your family though? that’s debatable, because I can’t stop thinking about going to get another bowl of that chili for lunch today.
TL;DR habaneros in a pressure cooker create pepper spray when the steam is release
Edit: Recipe for those asking. It was really good and now I know natural release might save us all. If you try it please let us know (I learned how to use a pressure cooker by reading the bare minimum instructions so definitely a lesson learned here)
https://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/spicy-chili/#recipe
If you like spice double the jalapeños and add a handful of habaneros, don’t remove the seeds from anything. We also switched the ketchup for tomato sauce and doubled the beans. And yes I know the note says don’t up the spice before trying it but I have cooking overconfidence and went with it anyway.
Meg_Moosekicker: I'm the only one who wants to make chili now in a pressure cooker?
MyGoodOpinion: I’m not stingy with the recipe. It really was good and takes less than an hour all together. Now you go in forewarned though. https://tastesbetterfromscratch.com/spicy-chili/#recipe
If you like spice double the jalapeños and a handful of habaneros, don’t remove the seeds from anything. We also switched the ketchup for tomato sauce and doubled the beans.
Blue_Osiris1: Good call, who adds one small can of beans to a pot of chili big enough to use 3 POUNDS of beef?
gsnumis: Texas chili doesn’t believe in beans
ScarletteMayWest: I have heard it can get you run out of Texas if you even attempt to mention it.
| 6 | 102.166667 | |
1674830370 | 1674857814 | t3_10mmes7 | t5_2to41 | 61 | ThrowAwayNudes8: TIFU by forgetting to delete my nudes
obligatory; this happened a month ago but the shame was too much to bare to post it so quickly. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Me(36M) and my wife(35F) like to flirt a little and keep things spicy both in and out of bed. Occasionally I send her nudes. You know... teasing and stuff. I usually delete them from our chats to avoid embarrassing situations.
Anyway, on the faithful day of my fu, I had to return an RO(reverse osmosis) unit to a shop to get it fixed. Me being the way I am, forgot the invoice for the said RO. Not wanting to go back, I asked whether it was ok if my wife sent us a photo of the invoice. She agreed and I called my wife asking for the photo. As soon as she sent it over messenger, I opened it and gave her my mobile. Now here is where I did my second fu. I could have just sent her the photo, but why would I? It's not like I have any personal intimate stuff on the chat with my WIFE!! Anyway, she starts zooming in, and I could see she accidently changed photo(you know how messenger allows you to scroll through chat images). I also saw the paniced expression on her face as she quickly went back and forth. I was confused at to what was happening; asking "Is everything ok?". She stuttered a yes. I could feel something was wrong but couldn't figure out what. Anyway, she managed to get the info and handed me back my mobile. At this point, I decided innocently to investigate what was going on. Keep in mind, I had long forgotten about what I send my wife on our chats.
As soon as I opened the chat and image scrolled, shame hit me like a ton of bricks. Bells from game of thrones came to mind at that point. I couldn't speak. There I was, stark naked exposing myself on camera. The lady at the desk, tried to be as professional as she could, I avoided any eye contact like the plague. I tried to cut the conversation as short as possible, only answering with yes and nos which fealt even more shameful everytime I spoke.
​
TLDR: I forgot to delete the nudes from the chat I have with my wife and the lady at customer support got to see me in my birthday suit.
For the lady at the desk, I'm sorry.
MyDadBod_2021: This is why we use Snapchat to chat and send pics... yeah, that sucks. I have had close calls where I had pictures in my gallery that I had not moved to my hidden folder, before I gave my phone to someone to view SFW pics.
Sorry OP... 😔
ThrowAwayNudes8: Don't worry my friend, my shame is now now diluting. Never had snapchat, for other reasons. I have now stopped sending spicy photos to my wife just in case and I'm keeping the spicy stuff behind closed doors.
Call_Me_Light06: if it makes you feel any better then customer service lady will probably tell one or two of her friends and forget about it in a couple of days. but MAN that sucks, definitely would use snapchat or just not send them after that.
4fun698: Snapchat just sucks. The photo quality is terrible compared to just using the stock camera app
ThrowAwayNudes8: I'm quite sure, lower quality in these cases would help out.
| 6 | 10.166667 | |
1672939458 | 1672968778 | t3_1044k8m | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my girl cry about Panera
[removed]
Devittraisedto2: What's Panera
rcw4324: It's like a semi fast food place where you can get soup/salad and little sandwiches. It's pretty good if you're not wanting to get a greasy burger
JLETT420: Expensive AF
| 4 | 2.25 | |
1672940011 | 1673187933 | t3_1044se6 | t5_2to41 | 36 | Puzzleheaded-Music98: TIFU for not asking out a cute girl
Today I was in a coffee shop and a cute girl that was my type sat down to a table across mine and she was with her mother, we exchanged a few looks and a smile when we didn't think the other one was watching and she told her mother that I was looking her way, it seemed like one of those we met at a coffee shop and now we're married for years kinda story only that I messed up for not asking her out and cus I recently got back in the dating world for some reason idk why I didn't go over to talk to her and when I left I saw she was sad and at the moment still high from the crush I got on her I didn't even process it only when I was driving home did I realize what happened and that I had a chance and then I started to get mad at myself cus I told myself if I ever get or see a chance that I'll make a move cus I want to be in a relationship even though being single is pretty chill and basically for the rest of the day I was pissed at myself and it was really eating me up cus I felt like a really shitty person who only got her hopes up and only hurt her wich I didn't want to do and cus I'm more of an alt person so I don't get much looks form girls and something like this doesn't happen often so I was even more frustrated and regretted not going there and asking for her name or even some contact so I could get to know her and who knows if I'll even see her again
TL;DR I hurt someone I like and I feel like a shitty person
And just in case she was in her late teens or even somewhere in her 20s and I'm a 19yo
SmittyManJensen_: Think you’re reading into this. Don’t approach girls that are with their mom lol
pogiguy2020: Be brave approach the MOM. LOL
Puzzleheaded-Music98: Hahaha a lil to old for my taste
pogiguy2020: OH she might teach you something. LOL
theonlyonethatknocks: Hopefully it’s how to write.
| 6 | 6 | |
1672940663 | 1673044595 | t3_1045262 | t5_2to41 | 48 | cheezygritz3: TIFU by having my students sound like they were cursing during a winter program.
So a couple weeks ago my school had their class winter performances. My class decided to write a poem about Christmas. Great. We decided to read the poem line by line, with each student reading about 2 lines. Also great.
Easing into the FU… there was a line in the poem about Santa being “ash covered”. I initially nixed this line due to my students’ tendency to mumble during performances and I didn’t want them sounding like they were cursing in front of their grown ups.
Finally, one of the more extroverted students decided he would be the one to say the line. We talked about enunciating and projecting our voices. You could hear him! Great. The morning of the performance, which was at 6pm, he comes to school missing his two front teeth. It’s too late to change the poem. As least Santa had his ass covered that night. I brought a print-out of the poem to cover mine.
TL;DR I let my elementary students include a line in their winter program that sounded like they were cursing.
AcrobaticSource3: There once was a Santa from Nantucket
Far-Algae4772: Finish it!
AcrobaticSource3: I was hoping his would be a cooperative reddit comment thread where one person after another added new lines
| 4 | 12 | |
1672939966 | 1672943217 | t3_1044rrc | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to a brothel with a friend and getting duped.
[deleted]
unconductive: deserved
BlurryFace2048: 100%
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1672942069 | 1672951800 | t3_1045nb3 | t5_2to41 | 3,358 | probrachi: TIFU by texting my dead friend’s number. TLDR at end
I am 18F and i have a friend that died two years ago. During november- december i REALLY started missing him. I met him during the winter time and his birthday is in November so i believe thats why i started missing him a lot more during that time. On christmas i was so sad. I couldn’t thinking of him. When this happens i text his old number.
I got on my phone while crying, and i texted him “Hey Andy. I miss you so much. Ive been thinking about you a lot lately. Sometimes i wonder how many tattoos youd have by now if you were still here. I bet we would’ve gotten some together. I wish i could tell you about this new guy i met. I know you would’ve thought he was cool. Merry christmas, i love you.”
I expected them to send green. Because thats what they did a few months after he died. This time it sent blue and my heart dropped. I was kinda embarrassed, i was hoping the new number owner wouldn’t answer but they responded almost immediately. They asked me who i was and i explained the situation. They said sorry for my loss and i thanked them, thinking that would be the end of it. we kept talking though, and i asked when they got their new phone number. He said “My mom got me this for christmas, i got it a few days ago”. I was thinking that it was cool, then asked how old he was. He is 10 years old.
I audibly gasped because i felt weird texting a 10 year old. I told him i was 18, then for some reason he proceeded to tell me more info about him. Probably because i asked his age so he thought he should tell me more? Idk. He was like “Yea my name is brandon, whats your name? Im in 5th grade i go to this school in this state.” I told him that was cool and gave him the whole staying safe on the internet talk and warned him not to do this again. I then told him i had a sister around his age and id be creeped out if i found out she was talking to a random 18 year old. I said i had to end the convo here and thanked him for responding. He asked if he should delete my number and i said it would be smart to.
Now i thought this was the end. But he has been calling me EVERYDAY since then. I ignore his calls and his texts. Every time he calls me im reminded that my friend is dead and i get sad for a bit. I know i should probably block him but it would also feel like im blocking my old friend. I know it doesnt make sense, but i wanna keep his number in my phone.
TL;DR: Got sad and texted my dead friend’s old number and now this 10 year old boy, thenew number owner, wont stop calling me and i get reminded of my friends death every time he calls
opschief0299: This is the universe telling you that it's time to move on.
Rothum90: Or maybe the universe is giving OP a new "friend". Maybe a new baby "brother".
If a 10 yr old is calling every day there maybe something not so good going on in his life and he needs someone he can trust in his life.
PS I am very sorry for your loss
Otfd: >If a 10 yr old is calling every day there maybe something not so good going on in his life and he needs someone he can trust in his life.
Idk. It is a 10 year old after all.. They don't understand boundaries and he probably thinks he just made a friend and it's okay to call whenever.
I feel like you're jumping to conclusions.
Madusa0048: Can confirm that this is exact the kind of shit a ten year old would do
| 5 | 671.6 | |
1674834945 | 1674861587 | t3_10mo8xt | t5_2to41 | -2 | WeirdOk8915: TIFU by accusing my daughter of using her phone all day
I am 34F and my daughter is 13. Yesterday my daughter came next to me and showed me a video of a cat. I didn't give any reaction to it and asked her how long she used her phone. She didn't answer and I told her since she didn't answer she probably used it since morning. She closed the video and went to her room without saying anything to me. My husband came around 2-3 hours after that. He went and talked to my daughter since she didn't want to talk to me. She came crying and said that she was upset because I didn't give any reaction and blamed for using her phone since morning. She didn't come to eat dinner with us and just made herself a sandwich to eat in her room. I apologized to her but she's still not talking to me.
TL;DR: I accused my daughter of using her phone since the morning and now she refuses to talk to me despite me apologizing.
Hypnotic_videos: Well. Both did wrong, she is childish fir acting like that and not wanting to talk. And you did wrong about being negative. But in your case it I'd more forgiving since you were worried.
MrSubterranean: What!? A child... acting like a child!? How dare she. 13 year old girls should be masters of their emotional state at that age.
Hypnotic_videos: Well I am 14. I know everyone is different and I have no idea what their relationship is. I am just saying g ghosting your mom because she did not find a video funny and she being worried is not a normal thing.
At 13 you can think a bit for yourself and it is allright to be mad but to mot eat dinner is not okay.
So say what you want but remember that a 13 year old still is quite smart (some of them) or atleast emotionally. I get mad sometimes to but I just don't stop taling with my family I try to u derstamd why my mother did as she did and if I can't figure it out ask her instead of crying in a puddle.
DoomShroomicus: Thats not what ghosting is.
Hypnotic_videos: Yeah but in a sense. Like completely leaving someone life even fir a day I consider ghosting. Especially when her daughter does not say a word at all before deeming that her mother is a lost cause.
DoomShroomicus: What you consider ghosting is just flat out wrong. It's not a matter of opinion, you are wrong.
Look up "operant conditioning". This mother is effectively training her daughter to not bother with trying to connect.
| 7 | -0.285714 | |
1672943513 | 1673201060 | t3_10469c3 | t5_2to41 | 100 | Icy-Summer7586: TIFU by lying to my wife
TIFU by lying to my wife
I don't normally like to lie, especially to my wife, and I've never lied about any big things. Just the occasional one about presents or something of that nature, nothing bad or crazy. In March, my wife quit smoking, which I was very proud of her for doing. She did it in part for her own health but also because we plan on having a child together soon. I also smoke but have been unable to quit. It's been really hard on me, especially with my job (I'm a trucker who's gone for a month at a time). And I lied to her about quitting in August. It's not something I'm proud of, but I also felt like it was something I had to do. She found out the other day and went off on me yelling and cursing at me for lying to her. Which I totally understand because I did and that was wrong of me. But now she's treating me like I'm the worst person in the world just because I lied about stopping smoking. I told her I was sorry and that ive been trying to quit its just been hard while ok the road. I have no problem not doing it when I'm home, but once I get back into the truck it's like something I can't control. I've now gone 3 days without a smoke and it's bad. But I know there's no point in telling her cause she won't believe me now.
TL;DR - I lied to my wife about stopping smoking and she's unbelievably pissed at me about it.
queenmum1432: If you have a cigarette again today you will have to live the last three days over next time you try to quit. As hard as today is, tomorrow will only be harder if you back slide. I feel you, I’ve been there, get a lot of mints, rage in private, whatever it takes- you can do this.
One thing I did, since I was also trying to stop for a future child, was print out images of toddlers smoking and graphic images of lung damage. I posted it on the door that I used to go out to smoke. The wrongness of those images gave me strength to last a little longer. Now it’s been 10 years.
Orbnotacus: I switched to vaping to stop smoking, it worked. Now I'm about ready to quit vaping.
CrazyChris061: So it did not work? You're still addicted to nicotine.
no_not_this: Well yeah it worked he doesn’t smoke cigarettes. If you don’t think there’s a difference between burning and inhaling 300 chemicals and vaporizing glycol then you shouldn’t be talking shit to someone who’s making an effort
CrazyChris061: It's still terrible for your lungs, its great that this person stopped smoking cigarettes, but its not like vaping is much better. Im not going to encourage inhaling candy flavoured chemicals over cigarettes. Both are terrible for your health.
| 6 | 16.666667 | |
1674836939 | 1675138838 | t3_10mp274 | t5_2to41 | 637 | sh0hburner1: TIFU by dumping the best man I ever dated
Today is the 3 year anniversary of me breaking up with my ex. Lets call him S. I dated him for about a year, when I was 23. He was 29. He was the most wonderful man a girl could ask for. He was funny, smart, so gentle and kind and he was into MMA. It never hurts when your man has a six-pack and can protect you from any asshole on the street. He had a great job and was pretty well off. I felt safe with him in every conceivable way. During our relationship, he'd always get me flowers, take me on little trips to the lake, mountains, concerts. He'd give me little kisses in public and always had his arm around me. In private, I had the best sex I've had before or since. My friends could not stop talking about how lucky I was or how jealous they were. I felt like was in a cheesy Hallmark movie.
The problem was that he was from another country. He had a very traditional view on marriage and relationships. When we got talking more serious about what we want in the future, I found myself recoiling at his words. He wanted his wife to stay home with the kids. He wanted multiple kids. He used to joke, I want a basketball team. I had just started a job at a pretty big marketing firm. I couldn't fathom being a SAHM. I was thought to be independent and not rely on a man. I could never imagine not deciding my future or being told what we're doing as a family. So pretty quickly, I broke up with him. I blocked him an all socials and cut off communication.
Well, a couple of months later, COVID hit. We switched to working from home, before being laid off. I moved back in with my parents. I had no dating prospects, no job and was staying home all day. In a moment of weakness, I unblocked him and stalked his Insta. I felt so much worse. I knew he had a new GF through friends but seeing them together hurt a whole new kind of way. I saw her posting about the little spontaneous trips to the mountains that we used to take. I saw S holding her in that tight embrace he has that made you feel safe and loved. I blocked him again, but it was too late.
Well, life moved on. I had dates, slept with other guys, had another boyfriend. It's not remotely the same. I got a different job and moved out of my parents house again. I have my own place, my own money and my own bills. It blows. I don't know why I ever wanted this. It feels soul crushing to get up in the morning everyday to spend most of my time at work only for all that money to go to basic neccessities. I hardly have money left for anything else. I've even accepted dates, just to go out and eat at a nice place instead of getting takeout or cooking. I used to love cooking. Nothing made me happier than making something for S, watching him eat it, listening to all the compliments and then cuddling together. But now I have to do it after working all day just so I don't spend all my money on eating out. I haven't unblocked S to this day, but I know he got married to the girl he met after me. They have a kid and live in the giant house with the pool that S bought during the pandemic. I live by myself in a tiny apartment and will probably have to work until 65. I fucked up royally and will regret it for the rest of my life.
TL; DR - TIFU by dumping the best man I ever dated because I wanted to be "independent"
BaldingBee: So, I've read through this twice and never saw the word "love", or even the insinuation of "love".
The fact is, you didn't like the way he wanted to live and now you're pining for that lifestyle because life sucks.
He's happy. He's (hopefully) in love.
If you'd married him you'd probably be just as unhappy and be resentful because he "trapped" you. You'd, in turn, make him unhappy because he'll be able to see your misery.
Yes, life sucks right now, but I'm sure you'll turn it around. It takes time to get going, and it takes even longer to know what you want.
norfolk82: Bingo!!!!
She seems like all she wanted was a free ride on this dudes ticket. She doesn’t miss him. She just doesn’t want to work.
Thank goodness things worked out the way they did for his sake.
Arrasor: She doesn't love him. She love the benefits of being with him.
Kal-Zak: Also. Accepting dates just to go out. That's fucked... those other guys are looking for a connection (theoretically) and you just wanna get out of your house
kinkyghost: Yeah that line honestly disgusted me. What a cruel and entitled person.
MudLOA: Like that girl recently who admitted to going out on dates every day to get free food.
| 7 | 91 | |
1674837629 | 1674848888 | t3_10mpck6 | t5_2to41 | 55 | SesshySiltstrider: TIFU by leaving my door unlocked during a party at my parents
[removed]
[deleted]: your mom sounds chill😂but that’s also kinda fucked up to say because imagine if a girls dad slapped her ass as she went back in to have sex. Either way sounds like a normal funny situation😂lucky to have a chill mom
ExtensionSystem3188: I had a gf dad ask to smell my fingers once no joke.i dragged them right across his face, applied shoes and advanced in the other direction!
[deleted]: That’s so weird, I’d be pissed and also pretty grossed out, once my cousin smelled mine after hanging out with a girl cause she figured I was up to something and was a little too young to be lol
| 4 | 13.75 | |
1672948081 | 1672964460 | t3_10486gr | t5_2to41 | 28 | RagingNerd312: TIFU by calling my dog a pit bull
A few months back we adopted this beautiful female \*American Staffordshire Terrier\* from the streets(literally). She was malnourished and had cuts and other wounds on her, and no collar or tags. We brought her in, fed her, bathed her, took her to the vet, etc. Couldn't figure out her age at all but vet's best guess was about 3 years. She's since fully regrown her coat, gained healthy weight, and really opened up to us. I tell you, she is the SWEETEST dog I've ever met. Incredibly intelligent, well mannered around other animals, people and children, also very rarely barks. I've never even heard her growl. She understands human emotion really well, such as cuddling when she sees one of us sad.
FFW to yesterday, trying to sign a lease with landlord, I put down our dog as a put bull, because up until now, I didn't realize the difference. Landlord flat out said "No" "Get rid of the dog", then linked us a few animal shelters. I don't know how long we have until we have to "get rid" of her, but hopefully enough time to prove I fucked up the breed, or to make her an emotional support dog.
I have an appointment with the doctor that originally diagnosed me with depression later this month, hopefully he can assist with getting her registered as an ESA. Another option we're looking into is going to the vet to get verification that she is, in-fact an Am Staffie. Then cross our fingers that the landlord accepts it.
TLDR; called my am staffie a pitbull on lease application, now landlord wants me to get rid of her
Cachacinha_do_Lula: I have a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and have the same problems.
It's sad, as they're usually very safe and calm around people.
TragicallyComedian: “Usually”
Cachacinha_do_Lula: Don't think there's any breed that you can say is 100% safe.
TragicallyComedian: That’s true. But as much as I love my Australian Shepherd, I’d trust a Golden Retriever over him any day if I had a kid in the house, for example. Advocating for the breed you love means being honest with oneself about their breed specific traits
Cachacinha_do_Lula: I agree. But bulls in general have a reputation that imho is unfair to their actual behavior. They are extremely good with kids.
On the other hand, they're rarely good with other animals.
I believe the big problem is that if they do attack, it'll be uglier than qith other breeds due to their strength.
TragicallyComedian: You’re right about most of that but I’d argue that if they are capable of more damage than other breeds, they would be less safe around children just for that fact alone.
I’d have to look up the numbers (if you want them) but a majority of bites from dogs are on children. And a majority of those are from the family pit bull. So I’d also argue that your point on them being great with kids isn’t exactly true
wetspaghetti420: The statistic that pitbull aggression is significantly worse than other breeds is wrong. The difference is that staffies, bull terriers, bulldogs, American bullies, etc. are all lumped into ‘pitbull’. So yes golden retrievers bite less because there are less of them.
Btw I have a staffie and I have a golden retriever. The golden will mess you up while the my staffie cowers in the corner but I mean believe what you want. Dogs will bite no matter the breed.
TragicallyComedian: For sure! If you don’t mind, I can invite you to my sub that’s dedicated to documenting non pit bites etc. I’d really like to have some extra hands helping me gather info or just participate!
| 9 | 3.111111 | |
1674840042 | 1674842232 | t3_10mqd5x | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by not minimizing my browser
[deleted]
Metallorgy: He wasn't there to fix the cable?
Affinity-Charms: Hahaha what is this, the start of a porno or something?
Metallorgy: "Logjammin'"
| 4 | 1 | |
1672950656 | 1672951740 | t3_10499o5 | t5_2to41 | 6 | SameGarlic7: TIFU by plugging in my charger backwards
So my earth prong broke on my chargers plug, and because i live in the UK, you need the earth prong to open the little doors for the neutral and hot prongs to go into.
Well i needed my charger so i got the broken piece, pushed it in so the doors opened and plugged my charger in, so far nothing bad has happened, my charger works fine but i need to know if it's genuinely safe, to prevent a future f up (e.g. my house ceasing to exist)
As far as my electrical knowledge goes, an electrical shock is worse if your grounded as the electricity can flow through your body so based on that "knowledge"(if true) my plug is safer as its isolated, also is it effectively like a north american plug now with just the 2 prongs?
Also i did try gluing the prong back on with hot glue but it just snapped right off after it solidified.
If your wondering how it broke off in the first place, it was on my desk as it can be unplugged and used as a portable power bank, and i had my phone on my leg whilst i was on my xbox and it slipped off my leg onto the floor, the cord pulled the charger down with it with some force and i picked it up and noticed the prong was literally missing.
TL;DR plugged my charger backwards and I'm hoping my assets don't burn down as a consequence
___Phreak___: Buy a new plug
SameGarlic7: Theres just one problem with that, you cant buy it seperately, the powerbank thingy can be taken off the plug but where it attaches to the plug, the plug has a unique layout to connect it, image below
https://preview.redd.it/wroqbch2wbaa1.png?width=3024&format=png&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=31b5f6b2f9c71bc43023f1d1344eec1305329d99
___Phreak___: If you can't replace the plug... Which you almost certainly could, replace the entire charger
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1674841997 | 1674846482 | t3_10mr6cs | t5_2to41 | 90 | new-nomad: TIFU by getting behind on storage unit payments and losing everything to auction
Including >$100,000 in art and high end furnishings, invaluable mementos such as all existing photos of my dead parents, and a bunch of my friend's belongings (about to text him).
For months I’ve been dealing with severe depression and anxiety, ignoring most emails and all phone calls (and my voicemail is full). Along with ignoring physical mail, as I’m living alone abroad to save money and not having mail forwarded.
The storage company sent only one email about the auction, with the subject line only referring to “account status.” They continued to send past-due emails, none of which mentioned the auction, giving the impression my belongings were not yet in danger.
But, yes, I accept the responsibility. That’s what TIFU is about.
I found out about an hour ago and am still numb.
TL;DR: I didn’t pay close enough attention to past-due notices and lost everything to a storage auction.
HG_Shurtugal: It has to be possible to get in touch with the guy who bought the items. He would most likely give you back the photos of your parents since that doest hold any monetary value. Also depending on what your friend had in thier it could be possible to get those back too. Of course this all depends on who bought the units items and how kind he is.
new-nomad: Working on that but it doesn’t sound like they’re willing to tell me who it was. I found a couple of my more valuable items listed on www.1stdibs.com and sent a note to the seller. I suspect items were wholesaled to various buyers. The auction ended 5 weeks ago and I’d expect everything without resale value is already trashed.
HG_Shurtugal: Sorry to hear that.
| 4 | 22.5 | |
1674841869 | 1675092194 | t3_10mr4g5 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by impulsively replying a creepy message on my Female Friend’s story.
[deleted]
Vladimirhxtc: I think you're reading a little too much into this one, man. She probably already knows that you think she's attractive, and a laugh react doesn't mean a whole lot. If you really think it went over that poorly, I would just take it as a lesson and not hit on her again.
luvisinking: That’s the thing. I never wanted to hit on her. She rejected me 7 years ago & I never asked her again. I wanted to leave a compliment just to make a conversation but Idk why did my brain choose the emoji that looks this creepy.
Vladimirhxtc: It really doesn't look that creepy lol, if it wasn't even intended to be flirtatious then it's even less big of a deal. Don't stress about it, you're probably golden my dude.
luvisinking: Thank You for the positive comments. I hope it’s like that.
| 5 | 2 | |
1674843214 | 1674944146 | t3_10mrpbu | t5_2to41 | 5,728 | GoodBones42069: TIFU by sending my 10 year old to school with psilocybin mushroom chocolate in her backpack
Context: I’m a pretty well respected business owner in my community. Involved in lots of groups, and have even run for public office. I also occasionally eat psilocybin mushrooms, mostly to keep depression and anxiety in check.
Last week my 11 year old’s backpack strap broke as she was heading out the front door. I grabbed a travel backpack from my closet, hastily emptied it of its contents which were mostly just coins and receipts, and handed it to her. That afternoon when she came home she was holding a piece of chocolate wrapped in foil, and asked me what it was. *I immediately realized my fuckup.* About four months ago I took some homemade shroom chocolate on a camping trip and didn’t realize there were any left in the backpack. I had emptied it and put the rest in a safe place but had missed a couple. They must’ve been zipped up in a pocket. I asked if she’d eaten any, and she said, “No, I opened one and broke it in half and saw peanut pieces in it, so I didn’t eat it.” (Peanut allergies!) The “peanut pieces” were actually mushrooms! The piece she was holding was still wrapped so I asked what she’d done with the one she’d opened. She said she wrapped it back up and put it in the backpack. I searched the backpack but came up empty handed. I dug through it several times and couldn’t find the chocolate. I asked if she’d given it to someone or dropped it somewhere or thrown it away. She swore she’d put it back in the bag. I was freaking the fuck out- there was a piece of mushroom infused candy floating around the goddamn elementary school somewhere because of my fuckup. What if some kid ate it, saw Jesus, and ended up in the emergency room? They would certainly tell the parents what they’d eaten and where they’d received it, it would be traced to my daughter and then me, and I’d be asked to explain why the candy made the kid see dragons before being charged with child endangerment or assault along with drug possession. It would be on the news. The community Facebook page would be a bottomless mine of outrage. My business would be done. Not to mention the guilt of knowing I’d caused a traumatic experience for the child. Fuck me. Fuck. Fuck! I called my girlfriend and discussed how to handle it. We both agreed no kid was likely to consume the candy because it’s pretty nasty. Dark chocolate with no sugar in it, plus it’s filled with mushroom bits— even we have to choke it down. So hopefully if a kid found it and took a bite they’d spit it out. Certainly not much chance they’d consume the entire piece. But still— this is not good. I went back to my child and begged her to confess if she’d given it to a friend. (I told her it had fake sweetener in it and would make them sick.) She stuck to the story. I went back to the backpack, searched again, and still no luck. Finally I picked up a folder and shook it violently and the piece of chocolate flew out. I immediately put it in a locked drawer and will never let this happen again.
TL;DR- left mushroom chocolate in a backpack, my child borrowed the backpack, found the chocolate, but came home with only 1 of 2 pieces. The missing piece was later found but not before I spent an hour imagining how my entire life was about to come crashing down.
Edit- A few things. 1- Guys I know it was a fuckup. That’s why I posted it in “Today I fucked up” not “life pro tips.” It was so bad I couldn’t tell my friends or a therapist so I unburdened myself on the internet. 2- Also, the number of people asking me where to get psilocybin chocolate is hilarious. No, there’s not an online store where you can order shroom candy, sadly. Maybe one day.
Edit 2- ok there are apparently places to buy shrooms but I don’t know where or how.
kyle_bautista: Holy lucky my guy, you were 1 unlucky moment away from having a completely different life
GoodBones42069: Never before have I felt glad my kid has a peanut allergy!
nugnug1226: Also lucky you made the chocolate bars with big chunks of mushrooms instead of grinding to a powder like usual.
Also, you should know that if you get caught with shroom edibles, you’ll get charged with the entire weight of the chocolate bar, not just the weight of the shrooms itself. Let’s say you made 5x 100g chocolate bars with a total of 3g of shrooms. If you get caught, you’ll get charged with having over 1 pound of shrooms and possibly face intent to distribute charges for that weight. Whereas if you get caught with 3g of shrooms, they’ll most likely be lenient and you can possibly plead to a misdemeanor. **assuming you’re in the US
If you must travel with shrooms, buy a small bottle of fiber pills. Grind up the shrooms to a fine powder using a coffee grinder. Empty the fiber capsules and fill capsules with shrooms. Dust off the capsules with a brush or compressed air. Throw away the rest of the fiber pills and only put the shroom pills inside. Put it together with a bunch of other bottle of supplements like multivitamins, fish oil, anti-diarrhea medicine (hence the need for fiber pills), etc.
anotherpredditor: This is true but only in some states.
nugnug1226: Only 14 cities and 3 states are decriminalized at this time. This is true for most states
anotherpredditor: Not talking about decriminalization just how they prosecute. Not everyone is so draconian to use the whole weight.
nugnug1226: This is a common method shared by almost all jurisdictions. This is done with all edibles because it’s expensive to determine exactly how much THC or psilocybin is in an edible. This is also done so cops can say they made a bigger bust than the actual amount. This is also done so they can charge you with the max and let the courts decide if they can reduce the charges.
anotherpredditor: Please cite some references? I only see NJ and Texas being assholes over a whole tray of brownies and the like. I can’t find any sources that specify legality.
nugnug1226: I’m not a lawyer or even an expert in this field. But I have read many stories of police doing this for edibles of both THC and Psilocybin and growers of shrooms.
If you made a batch of brownies with 1% THC or 50% THC, how would the police and DA know what to charge you with? They wouldn’t without having to do lab work to determine compound levels. Instead what they do is charge you for the max and let you spend tens of thousands of dollars in attorney fees, lab work, expert witnesses, etc fighting it in court.
If you’re that interested, a quick google search shows many articles with how they take full weight.
It’s a crooked system and more reason why wealthy people can get away with murder, but the poor working class gets 5 years for a joint.
anotherpredditor: Many articles and most are citing Texas. I did do a google search which is why I was asking for references vs opinion pieces.
nugnug1226: What you can do is type in the state name along with your google search and make a spreadsheet with all 50 states and mark which ones do and which ones don’t. I’d be happy to be proven wrong.
anotherpredditor: I could but don’t care enough. I was hoping since “everyone knows” this is how things actually are it would be an easy ask to point out an actual article vs perpetuating fud.
| 13 | 440.615385 | |
1674845905 | 1674927706 | t3_10msu03 | t5_2to41 | 82,132 | BirdFine1210: TIFU by asking my wife for a paternity test
This didn't happen today, but a few weeks ago. My wife of 4 years gave birth to our first child last year. Both my wife and I are blue eyed and light skinned. Our baby has a darker skin tone. Over the past 6 months his eyes turned a very dark brown.
I had my doubts. My friends and family had questions. I read too many horror stories online.
I asked my wife half jokingly one day if she was sure the kiddo was mine. She starred daggers at me and said of course he is. I let it go for a while, but I still had a nagging doubt.
So right after thanksgiving I told her I wanted a paternity test to put my doubts to rest. She agreed.
A few weeks ago I came home to an empty house. Wife and son gone. On the bed she left the paternity results. And a petition for divorce.
Kid is 100% mine. Now I will only get to see him weekends and I lost the most amazing woman I have ever known.
TL;DR - I asked my wife for a paternity test. She decided she didnt want to be married to someone who didnt trust her.
BonesIIX: I'm gonna hazard a guess that this is just the tip of the "unhappy marriage" iceberg.
Kyuthu: I think it's actually a response to a post on here like 1-2 weeks ago with the opposite story from the wife. Where people said get the paternity test done and leave with the kid, leaving the note or mailing it to him after you've gone.
People all saying he shouldn't of asked for it, but then you get a bunch of posts in here where people have suspicions a kid isn't theres, and people scream "just get a paternity test." Can't win with this one on reddit.
spacedragon421: Classic reddit to recommend divorce.
Sprinkle_Puff: I highly doubt this was the sole issue for the divorce
johnjackson90: Imagine someone getting a divorce just because some degen on Reddit told her she should, lol
Aurorainthesky: Yeah, imagine getting divorced because your husband call you a cheating, lying whore. Because that's what asking for a paternity test is.
ScottRoberts79: Umn, paternity tests can also show if the hospital swapped babies....
​
And let's face it - based upon the basic genetic knowledge most Americans received in public school..... two blue eyed parents SHOULD produce a blue eyed child.
checkwarrantystatus: Agreed but emotional intelligence is key here. "It's I think we should get a paternity test to see if the baby is ours", not "I want a paternity test to see if the baby is mine."
Talkaze: i would be incredibly insulted if i was asked to have a paternity test done (i'm female) but I HAVE seen a BORU that turned out to be a baby switch at the hospital
Raephstel: What about if your partner had been cheated on multiple times before? If he knew mentally that you hadn't cheated, but he still had some nagging feeling that something was wrong?
Would you really expect him to suffer that alone than do a simple paternity test?
FlamingWeasel: I would expect him to get therapy because it's not my fault that other women hurt him. If you can't be in a healthy relationship because of past issues, get therapy, not a partner.
I would have done the test, personally, but I can't say it wouldn't cause some resentment.
Raephstel: I feel like a healthy relationship would be one where all parties involved talk with each other openly and if one has concerns, the other(s) would do what they can to make the worried one feel better.
"You're worried about something? Go talk to a therapist instead of me" is not a healthy relationship in my mind.
I wonder if you'd say the same to women who've been abused and have issues with intimacy? That they shouldn't be in a relationship with a new person, because it's not the new partner's fault that they've been abused?
Genuinely_Crooked: You shouldn't *immediately* be in a new relationship without having therapy first, no. Again, therapy isn't like, a punishment. It's a good thing that you do to make your life better.
Raephstel: Who said anything about immediately? It could be years or decades later that feelings about previous events surface.
I don't think therapy is a punishment. However, it's not a solution either. Therapy is there to help one person with their issues. If there is an issue in a relationship, it's unlikely that it's only one half that needs to deal with it.
Couples therapy could be appropriate, but that doesn't seem to be what is being suggested.
Genuinely_Crooked: If it resurfaces, they should go back to therapy.
I'm definitely suggesting couples therapy in this instance, I can't speak for anyone else.
Raephstel: Couples therapy to get each other on the same page when there's friction is never a bad idea. I take exception to the idea that a request for a paternity test is because the man is somehow broken and needs therapy because it's not the woman's problem. I'm not saying you said that, but it's certainly been implied in comments in here.
Genuinely_Crooked: He's not broken, but his trust in her is. A test can spackle over this instance, but it doesn't fix the massive crack in the load bearing wall of their relationship. In fact it makes it worse. How can you ever feel like you're on the same team again after this?
Raephstel: I would feel far more betrayed by someone who tells me they're not interested in working through relationship issues with me than with someone who has a suspicion I've cheated that I can easily prove false.
Genuinely_Crooked: Going to couples therapy *is* working through relationship issues with you. That's literally the whole point of it.
Raephstel: Again, I've said couples therapy is good. Check some of the other replies.
"I would expect him to get therapy because it's not my fault that other women hurt him. If you can't be in a healthy relationship because of past issues, get therapy, not a partner. "
That's the kind of comment I'm talking about.
Genuinely_Crooked: Yeah, and that's fair. But I want to know your take on suggesting couples therapy and making it clear that the test would end the relationship.
Raephstel: Couples therapy is a good idea. If someone threatened to end the relationship with me over the test, I would assume either they cheated and are scared of the results or their pride comes before my mental security. Either way, I'd be more likely to end the relationship with them than give them the chance to end it with me.
It would depend on other things, too, of course. If I had a long history of questioning her fidelity for no reason, I'd understand being given an ultimatum. But if our child obviously didn't look like either of us and people were whispering in my ear that she'd cheated, I'd feel justified in asking for the test.
Genuinely_Crooked: Then you have to agree that ending the relationship is reasonable. Because my peace of mind would never recover from being questioned to that degree. I would explain in couples therapy how I would never feel secure in that relationship again, how I would never feel trusted again, and how I couldn't be in a relationship where I wasn't trusted. And that refusal on my part would make them think they were right. So I would do what OP's wife did, I would take the test and leave. It's not pride. It's my mental security as well.
Raephstel: The difference is that the man in this situation doesn't choose to be suspicious, it's a feeling. If a woman chooses not to do the test, it's a choice she has made. If a man decided to be suspicious, I'd agree with you.
I don't feel it's fair to end a relationship (especially with a child involved) over a feeling. If she chose to do the test and it comes back that he is the dad, then that gives a platform for the therapy to work from.
The only way your example makes sense is if there's absolutely no way she could have cheated on him. Of course, she knows, and yes, it would suck to be asked that if you haven't. But people, including women, do cheat, and if there's logical reason to suspect, it should be discussed.
If a man can't discuss his worries openly with his partner for fear of her leaving him, she's emotionally manipulating him, and it's an emotionally abusive relationship.
Genuinely_Crooked: My feeling of being distrusted and not secure in the relationship is also a feeling that I can't control. The only difference is it can't be fixed with a test. He can discuss his worries with me, but the end of that discussion needs to be that he trusts me. If he doesn't, he isn't being left for discussing his worries, he's being left for not trusting me. That's no emotional abuse, that's just me not wanting to be in a relationship where I'm not trusted.
Why do his anxieties and need for security matter but mine doesn't?
Raephstel: How would you feel if your partner told you that they were leaving you because they suspected you'd cheated and even though they had no evidence, that showed them that they didn't trust you?
If someone suspected me of cheating on them, I'd be mortified and want to figure out how to set the mind of the person I loved at ease. Running off with our child and maximising trauma for everyone involved would be the last thing I'd want to do.
You can build trust, that's what couples therapy is for. It sounds like you'd be unwilling to work on issues with your partner if they question your integrity, which, to me, comes back to pride.
Edit: to answer your final question, both of your anxieties matter. The difference is that by coming to you and talking to you, he's trying to work through his as a couple. You're saying that if you have anxieties, you're not prepared to work through them together.
Genuinely_Crooked: I'd absolutely be willing to work on the issues, but I need to be able to know that their trust in me was based on our relationship and my actions and our history, and not on some test from a lab. What happens when that distrust rears its ugly head and there's no test for it? When I want to spend a weekend with my sisters and can't be constantly checked in with. Or if I want to hang out with male friends. I can't prove I didn't fuck them, so then what?
If they wanted to leave because they didn't trust me, I'd of course be devastated, but I'd agree that it was the right choice. If we don't have trust we don't have anything.
Raephstel: You'd absolutely be willing to work on the issues, so long as they blindly accept your word and totally trust you when there's obviously already trust issues.
If they don't blindly trust you while they're having trust issues, you'll tear the family apart, depriving your child of growing up in a 2 parent household as well as the effect on you and the father. Just so you don't have to take a test.
What's the man's options in all this? It sounds like we're back to either dealing with it in silence or talking to you under the threat that if he pushes for actual evidence, you'll take his child and leave.
Men's emotions get shoved aside regularly, the threat of taking away someone's child for such a petty reason as not wanting to take a test to prove a point is awful. I'm not going to continue the discussion because it just feels like mysandry 101.
Genuinely_Crooked: Not blindly. We can talk about it. We can talk about why he feels concern and we can look into genetic models to show that it's totally possible for his kid to look the way ours does. But if we get the test he's not trusting me, he's trusting the test. I'm not staying in a relationship where I'm not trusted.
| 30 | 2,737.733333 | |
1672959516 | 1673049777 | t3_104d3zk | t5_2to41 | 412 | MCmclovin: TIFU by fingering myself too well
[removed]
StinkyButt_McStinkin: Do not click on OP's name unless you like dick picks. You're welcome. :(
Hello-death: I’m gonna listen this time, fuck curiosity I ain’t gonna click
Rude_Listen9523: You sure?
Hello-death: STOP IT!
Gian1993: You're missing out...
Hello-death: I don’t want to see pp
Zoefschildpad: You shouldn't be ashamed of your desires.
Hello-death: I desire to not see pp
Good_Smile: Are you ashamed of that?
Hello-death: No
| 11 | 37.454545 | |
1674847079 | 1674919312 | t3_10mtcya | t5_2to41 | 123 | [deleted]: TIFU by inadvertently getting my boss fired, making life even worse and now maybe getting fired myself
[removed]
sallesjuli: You don't sound like a good employee. You were there for ten years and never tried to make things better or had ideas or good relationships with superiors? And then once this new boss came, you went to her with all of your problems looking for spoon-fed answers and not doing any of the critical thinking yourself. You then get the one person who helped you fired claiming you didn't know that's how things worked, when you are the one that has worked there 10+ years. And now you are surprised at being asked to come up with some solutions and not just "venting" aka complaining all the time. It sounds like you have been at this company waaaay too long to still not have any idea what you're doing or how to do it.
Ahllhellnaw: Unfortunately the workforce is JAMPACKED with people just like that. Sounds like 80% of the people I've ever had to work with.
chaos021: Try supervising them. You'll understand really quick why managers keep their distance.
| 4 | 30.75 | |
1672966383 | 1673044528 | t3_104fx9u | t5_2to41 | 195 | [deleted]: TIFU by spraying myself thoroughly with insect killer spray that I thought was off spray
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: It could be worse, it could have been Axe body spray
akai_tsubaki: Sis, you are hurting my feelings here. 
AcrobaticSource3: Lol :)
| 4 | 48.75 | |
1672967458 | 1672972447 | t3_104gcl8 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by unfriending my friend due to avoidant attachment issues and losing them
[deleted]
redbradbury: You already know the games you are playing are silly with the friend requests. It’s also really immature behavior for a 17yo. If you have attachent issues, I hope you are in therapy. Also, it would be a good thing to make more friends in real life vs. online. Explore whatever opportunities you have to do that, whether it is clubs or sports or hobbies.
[deleted]: You're right, I agree. Thank for your advice!
redbradbury: You’re welcome. Best of luck!
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1674847405 | 1674860154 | t3_10mti4n | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by freaking out over M&Ms
[deleted]
Garmgarmgarmgarm: Go browns!
Lucid4321: "This just in: Beverly Hills 90210, Cleveland Browns 3"
| 3 | 5 | |
1672968391 | 1672969911 | t3_104gpg2 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by practically destroying my step-mom's plant collection
[deleted]
Solid_Look9293: Were you "tasked" with watering the plants or cat sitting? Or did they just assume you would know how to water each plant?
e-bolasoup: Yes, I was, but I just forgot how to water them. I could have asked. It was completely my mess up.
Solid_Look9293: Just checking :) still you're young. And as someone with chronic/clinical depression.. I completely understand. Some days are worse than others and it's easy to get overwhelmed.
| 4 | 1 | |
1672970362 | 1673306731 | t3_104hgam | t5_2to41 | 209 | OkFan1068: TIFU By thinking I was smarter than most people and almost died
Throwaway account because I don't want friends and family knowing what happened.
I'm a 33M, quite a nervous guy generally. I've been around my fair share of friends who got high, but never really been game enough to try it myself.
Fast forward to meeting my girlfriend, and she's partial to a little weed every now and then to relax. She's the most caring, kind soul in the world, and I figured if there's ever the best person to try it around, it's going to be her.
I'm basically hard against smoking for health reasons, but I broke my rule to try it having heard that it's a shorter high (in case I didn't like it). The first time I ever did it, I got so nervous about how it was going to feel that I passed out, and then threw up; like I said I'm a nervous guy.
I tried once or twice more with some lower THC content stuff and it had basically no effect.
So I figure the best thing to do is try some gummy edibles. *Genius*.
I ordered some 5mg gummy bears and decide to eat a couple with her then go for a walk around our neighbourhood. After about 30 minutes we're back inside and I'm feeling absolutely nothing. So we defrost some brownies she made and I have a corner or two with her. By this point she's starting to feel pretty buzzed and I can see it in her eyes. We chat for a little, then she decides to have a shower before we head to bed.
At this point it's probably been around one hour since the brownies.
Feeling nothing, and a little miffed about it, I decide I'll grab the last bit of defrosted brownie (about 2x the size of the original corner I ate). I throw that down the hatch and head off to bed hoping for maybe an interesting dream or two.
Fast forward about two or three hours and I wake up feeling like there's stars in my eyes and I'm falling through space. Honestly I didn't love the feeling and wanted some water to try and calm me down.
Here's the fuck up: We have an ensuite so it's not super far for me to go for water. I make it to the sink in the bathroom before I start to feel light headed.
The next thing I know I'm waking up on the floor with my girlfriend over me panicked, and calling my name. I pass out again for a short while and then come to. She gets me to my feet and on to the bed, then explains I basically went over directly backwards and slammed the back of my head in to the edge of the tiles where they meet the carpet (there's still a very small blood stain in the carpet that's hard to get out). At this point I'm probably pretty lucky to be alive.
We end up heading to hospital and find I've thankfully only got a mild concussion, but the dizziness lasts for 3-4 weeks afterwards.
After that she swears off the stuff and throws everything out, so I ruined it for her as well. 0/10 boyfriend.
TL;DR: Didn't heed the countless stories of people taking too many edibles. Took too many edibles, passed out, and cracked my head bad enough I went to hospital, and was having dizzy spells for a month.
TheLuvBub: My husband claims you can’t take too much, but I have passed out at least three times in my life pretty much the same way. It’s like nothing nothing nothing then wham. Glad you’re going to be OK that sounds very scary!
thaddeusd: Your husband is flat out wrong.
It is possible to OD on any substance, even water.
What, in a very simplified sense, makes one substance more toxic and dangerous than another is the concentration necessary to see adverse consequences when introduced into the body. The LD50 for THC is about 36 mg thc/ kg of body weight.
Rarely is someone exposed to pure THC. Thus, the common but incorrect belief you can't OD from weed.
But with legilization and more scientific and industrial growing, the THC concentration per unit of imbibing (joint, bowl, etc.) is much greater than in the past.
In the case of edibles, you are taking a purer concentrated extraction of THC as an oil and putting it in food, which is a different exposure vector than your lungs. That is why it hits differently, commonly with a delayed reaction compared to smoking the plant. And it potentially can be more dangerous.
ATLien325: You might be right, but until it actually happens to somebody I’m not worried.
thaddeusd: [Here is an example](https://www.newsweek.com/thc-overdose-death-marijuana-exposure-united-states-1442742)
ATLien325: Listen you’ll know when it happens because it will be a big deal. Not some weird article where the coroner says THC made her stop breathing.
| 6 | 34.833333 | |
1672974073 | 1673038340 | t3_104iu2y | t5_2to41 | 7,137 | k6squid: TIFU by giving my friend advice
This happened 2 days ago.
I'm chilling at the bar with my girlfriend of 5 months and another male friend. So my girl goes to mingle with other friends and me and my friend are talking. He is having some trust issues with his current girlfriend. I'm lecturing him on trust and how it's important in a relationship and that if you all don't trust each other, then it's not going to work.
Now me and my girlfriend have only been dating for 5 months, but we have had an amazing time together. I can honestly say I've never felt this way about a person so soon. We have been very honest with each other and I have never not once doubted that I'm the only one in her life. The same is true for me, I haven't so much as looked at another girl since we've been together.
Anyway, I'm trying to give my friend advice about being open and honest and not hiding things from each other. I'm hyping up my relationship and giving examples of how we make sure the other knows we are not hiding anything from each other. I felt there was a need for a demonstration of trust between me and my girl to emphasize my point.
So here is the fuck up.
We are using my girlfriend's phone to play music on the jukebox. It's one of those pay money to buy credits to hear the music on the jukebox things. We usually use my phone because she is always broke and can't really afford to buy credits. This time though, she bought like $20 in credits so we were using her phone.
So I'm telling my friend, "look she doesn't care that I have her phone. We trust each other so much that she doesn't have any second thoughts about me using her phone to play music". So I proceed to demonstrate by swiping through her open apps with a shit eating grin on my face. I keep swiping and the third app is Snapchat. I didn't know she had Snapchat and from what I understand, really the only point of that app is to hide conversations. So at this point I'm debating in my head whether I should take a "peek" or not and see if there was anything suspect. Fully knowing that my friend is in direct view listening to my advice. I looked.
Of course. There was something there. At this point my grin turns into a look of despair. The first person at the top of the conversations is some dude I don't know. I open the message and see a nude pic from my girl to him. There are some other messages and then a video of him masturbating and then a message from her that says she wants that "in her ass". This conversation happened earlier in the day while she was at work. I quickly take a screenshot (with my phone) and close the app. I have opened Pandora's box and I don't want to see anymore. At this point my friend knows I found something and has an awkward look on his face. He closes out and takes off and tells her good luck on the way out.
So as you can imagine. I'm freaking livid about this discovery. I feel betrayed and embarrassed. A whole bunch of emotions are coursing through my brain, among them rage. I turn off her phone and I calmly place it back at the bar wondering how I should proceed. I cut the night short and tell her that I'm leaving. She of course is like WTF?! So I closed out and leave and I send her the screenshot with the words: "we're done".
I've been very cold but firm about us breaking up. I really felt that we had something special going on. I made it a priority to make sure that she knew that she was the only person I wanted to be with. Our sex life had been amazing as we are still in the "honeymoon" phase. We text all the time and we dirty talk with great regularity. So I don't know why she felt the need to bring someone into that part of her world. She says she never slept with him and she says this was the first and only time anything like this has happened while we have been together, which I now find hard to believe because there no longer is any trust between us.
So she has been texting me, trying to justify the whole thing. Apologizing. Minimizing. Normalizing. Pretty much everything you can think of. She even sent me screenshots of a convo with the dude today, discussing how she got caught and that I broke up with her and the discussion between them pretty much confirmed that they never slept together, and that it was just "flirting". I still feel betrayed.
Now here is the best part, I was in the process of purchasing a townhome nearby where I live with the intent to rent it out. When we started dating, she was and has been renting a big house that she couldn't afford (getting divorced, husband no longer pays his half). As we got closer and closer, I breached the idea of her renting the place out as it would be much cheaper on rent for her. It would help both of us out as she would have more disposable income and could carry her weight so to speak (like I said she is always broke and I end up picking up the tab most of the time). We had an agreement that once I closed on the property she would move in and pay the mortgage until we were comfortable enough moving in together. That was the plan.
We talked about it today and she would still like to move in, but I'm on the fence now. We had so many things lined up and ready to go, and now all that is ruined. I close on the 16th of this month and I'm feeling like I'm going to be left holding the bag at some point. I don't have another renter lined up and time is running out.
So I know that snooping through her phone was wrong. The info I got is like "the fruit of the forbidden tree". I was trying to make a point to my friend and it blew up in my face. I told her I needed space but that I'm pretty sure that we are done. She keeps saying it was just one message that crossed the line. Technically that's true and maybe I'm overreacting, but it still feels like she stepped out on the relationship. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, but I need time to process this and see if this relationship is worth salvaging. I'm so damn upset over this.
TLDR: I was giving advice to a friend and was trying to flex about how me and my girl have nothing to hide from each other by messing with her phone in front of him. I ended up finding that she had been sexting and sending nudes to some other random guy. I am now single.
Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10789n0/tifu_by_giving_my_friend_advice_part_2/
AcrobaticSource3: Dude, not matter how strongly you felt with her, you moved way too fast in 5 months. You were emotionally tied to her, paying for things most of the time, and you were making big financial/real estate plans with her. You were having sex with her and talking dirty with her and she isn’t divorced yet. Not that she was going to reconcile with her husband, but people need to breathe in between relationships, not overlap relationships. You moved way, way too fast in 5 months.
Whether this was a one time flirt or not, it doesn’t sound like it’s something you can shake in 10 days. (You post says that you didn’t doubt you were the only one in her life...but you never actually say if she said that to you.) Sounds like, the relationship is over. You just have to decide if you want to rent it to her for the financial benefits. But I think if you do, it’s gonna torment you that she’ll be bringing guys over to your place.
The best advice is to cut your losses now, focus on yourself, and pump the brakes next time you think you’re in love
k6squid: True. 100%
Not that it really makes any difference, but we were really good friends for over 2 years before we started dating. She had been separated for about six months at that point. Just adding context, not trying to justify anything.
HamesTheNames: I disagree, if you love someone deeply, who cares if it's been a day or a year, do what you want because it feels right that's who you are naturally, you wanted to care and provide and females think this moving too fast unbelievable. I'm sorry if you're a female and you think that the guy is moving too fast for you, then you just simply don't love him as much as he loves you and if you don't communicate clearly your needs to the man then it's just as much your fault.
I was head over heels for my wife and did pretty much what you do very early on. She felt the same about me and did the same equal effort. Don't take this silly nonsense of don't move too fast, because then you literally have to be a different person in order for them to like you. No you did absolutely nothing wrong apart from snooping a little too much.
Honestly when you find the right women, doesn't matter how much love you show her or how early it will be appreciated and reciprocated if the love is mutual.
Also sorry for your loss.
Slammogram: Females tho? You can call us women.
But this particular woman sucked. Sorry, OP.
Backdoorpickle: People really need to stop taking offense at the word female.
arahzel: It's not the word female. It's how it's used unequally to downgrade women. Some people are so used to it, they don't even understand why it's offensive.
When I hear men refer to women as females instead of women and men as men instead of males, it's a problem.
Backdoorpickle: I hear men refer to men as males all the time. And female as female. It's fine. I really really feel like it's so incredibly silly to take offense at this word. As a female.
arahzel: That's fine you're okay being called female. You don't get to make the same decision for everyone else.
And I NEVER hear men called males. I work on a military installation. It's a real thing even if you don't think it is.
Backdoorpickle: And you don't get to dictate it either, though. That's the thing. You can take offense to it, it doesn't mean it was meant that way, nor should people stop using it to be gentle with your sensibilities.
arahzel: That's why I responded to you at all. Just because YOU don't have a problem with it doesn't make it everyone's else's problem to just get over.
Everyone needs to do better and just stop referring to women as females because it's actually used in a degrading manner. I'm glad it doesn't affect you, but it affects others.
Backdoorpickle: It's not used in a degrading manner. It's a biological distinction. Just because YOU have a problem with it doesn't make it everyone else's problem to stop using a biological distinction.
arahzel: "I haven't experienced it so it can't be true."
It's a systemic issue and you're part of the problem.
Backdoorpickle: Anything can be used derogatorially. It is your choice to be offended by that, especially when it's not used derogatorially. There's a big difference between something like the N word, and "female". There's an entire subreddit called Are the Straights Okay. The word "straights" is not used as a positive term in that instance. People can be offended, but it's rather silly to be, isn't it?
How many years you got in the military that you served anyway? They literally say things like "Male and female" barracks. It's not used derogatorially.
arahzel: I'm not talking during training or in reference to barracks. A descriptor for places is different than using it in reference to people. It's not used equally when it's females and men. I also take offense to being called Oriental in lieu of Asian and thank goodness that's phased out of acceptable language to call or describe people. It was more popular when I was child and I barely hear it today.
For reference here that which myself and the other Redditor was responding (emphasis mine)
>I'm sorry if you're **a female** and you think that the **guy**...
To answer your question, I did 8 years active duty and I've been working an additional 13 years on military installations. I make better money as a contractor.
Being called a straight doesn't bother me because in that case I'm not the oppressed group punching up. But I also don't go around calling people straights.
Backdoorpickle: Here's the thing, it's not used equally either when it's women talking. When women talk shit about men, they don't say, "Fucking males" they say, "Fucking men." If women want to refer to them as males, I'm sure men won't take offense. It's literally women chosing to be offended.
It's a completely silly word to take offense to, and I've been in the military as long as you.
Let's put it this way. Say women overtook the world as the prevailing monetary and ruling class and the word male was more prevalent; would you want women to stop using it? No. Because it's SILLY to stop using that word, which is a descriptor.
arahzel: You're so brainwashed into thinking women are just sitting around waiting to be offended that you're defending the behavior.
You need to seriously work on your pick me stance because we don't live in that fantasy world you're trying to use to excuse men referring to women as females. I like to believe if women were the ruling class, men and women would be used, but that's nothing more than my own wishes and no guarantee which way it would fall.
Backdoorpickle: Sigh.
Imagine gong through all this thinking I'm the brainwashed one. I guess neither of you know about empowerment. Even IF the word is used derogatorily by incels, it was never meant as a deragatory term. Ever. Like, in the entirety of history.
Take your power back lol. Who cares if some incel in his basement uses it to dehumanize? The OP of the post was almost surely not, just like most people. You're both being ridiculous, and there's no arguing with stupidity that real.
arahzel: The word female has been used to demoralize and degrade women. Fact.
Backdoorpickle: And the word "men" has been used as a slur. As have many other terms that no one takes offense to.
You really need to build up your resiliency.
arahzel: You should work on your cognitive dissonance. But you won't.
Backdoorpickle: Because with regards to this matter, I don't have it. The high irony of people telling other people when to be offended is quite ridiculous.
arahzel: Sure, Jan.
Backdoorpickle: Okay lol.
| 24 | 297.375 | |
1672968585 | 1672978502 | t3_104gs4h | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to unpack the last of my groceries.
[deleted]
AcrobaticSource3: Are you worried that your cat may have licked up some of the spoiled bacteria meat?
murtr: I was thinking this as well.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1672967929 | 1673053455 | t3_104gj4a | t5_2to41 | 15 | PresentYourGift: TIFU by going to sleep late
Hey guys! This is my first post on Reddit and hopefully my last.
I'm a 17 (F) living in New Jersey. I sleep with my phone on my bedside table right next to my bed. On this particular day, I went to bed late around 2 am because I was working on college applications and essays. I dreamt that I was awakened by the loud amber alert.
I, in my drowsy state in the dream, reached for my phone and saw "Emergency Number (3)" as an outgoing call at 03:55 am.
Next, another outgoing call at 03:56 am to "Emergency number".
Then, another outgoing call at 03: 57 am to "Emergency number (2)".
Lastly, I was later called by another number that irritated my sleep-deprived self.
I called the last number that annoyed me and said, "Who are you? Can you stop calling me?"
The guy on the phone responded by saying he was the non-emergency hotline and stated the only reason they called me, was because I called them. I abashedly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry. Have a good night or morning." Then, hung up the phone and went back to sleep in the dream. When I woke up, I thought this dream was really peculiar and decided to check my recent call logs. I quickly found out it wasn't a dream and I had actually called 9-1-1 six times in the span of two minutes. I went to school, came back, and told my parents what I'd done. My dad responded back saying, " That makes sense. I got a call early in the morning from the non-emergency hotline, but I hung up before he even finished his sentence. I was tired and I thought it was a scam. It also makes sense why there were police cars near our home."
My mother laughed at both of us and told me don't do it again.
TLDR: Went to sleep late and accidentally called 9-1-1 six times having the police come to our home and call my dad
AcrobaticSource3: What do you want to study in college?
PresentYourGift: Biology or Biochemistry. I want to become a surgeon :)
AcrobaticSource3: That’s awesome...but don’t oversleep the morning of a surgery, lol! :)
Good luck!
PresentYourGift: LOL thanks!
| 5 | 3 | |
1672977816 | 1673026717 | t3_104k5z8 | t5_2to41 | 1,061 | manwithahatonhishead: TIFU by not checking Amazon
[removed]
shanninica: This is one of those things you’ll be thinking about before you fall asleep for the rest of your life. Rip OP
manwithahatonhishead: I am crying on the inside
carthous: Idk, I would rather my daughter fuck a dildo than a dude..... 🤷🏻♂️
EDIT: OR SON
LC_Anderton: You’re assuming OP is a “daughter”? 😏
SpecialpOps: OP is a 14-year-old FTM trangender.
Nailbomb85: The people that are downvoting this must not have checked OP's post history.
SpecialpOps: Let em downvote. Ffs, OP actually said in another post that they are a 14 y.o. transgendered FTM.
Nailbomb85: Yeah, it just amused me to see how many people were acting a fool for a simple statement of fact.
SpecialpOps: The whole world’s gone nuckin futs.
| 10 | 106.1 | |
1672979079 | 1672998478 | t3_104klnn | t5_2to41 | 7 | Amazing_Excuse_3860: TIFU by rear-ending someone
This happened only a few hours ago. I'll do my best to recall what i can.
Not sure if it's relevant, but I had spent most of the day calling my doctor's office and pharmacist to try and a prescription for ADHD medication filled. To make a long story short, it's a controlled substance and an absolute pain in the ass to refill. I wanted it refilled last week, but due to holidays, bad weather, and so on its wasn't refilled and i had completely run out. I was literally on my way to pick up my prescription when the accident happened. I mention it because not being on my meds could have possibly contributed.
I was on this road, going straight, about 35-40 mph. There was an intersection ahead of me with a green light. I guess i glanced away from the road a second too long, because next thing I know, a car is stopped in front of me trying to turn left. I hit the brakes, but it's too late. *BANG!*
I open my eyes. The airbag was deployed. I hadn't even felt it. I'm extremely shaken up, but i feel physically okay. I smell something that i think is smoke, coming from the airbag. I turn on the hazard lights. The car in front of me is sitting in the middle of the intersection, the bumber damaged. It looked mild, but on instinct, I called 911. My voice shaking, i tell the operator where i am, and that there was an accident. I get out of the car as i'm afraid of the smoke.
My car's front bumper has a crack in it. The driver of the other car, i notice is moving in around in his seat. I walk over to his car to try to get this attention, but he's on the phone (presumably also 911). I don't want to stay in the middle of the intersection, so i go back to stand next to my car. The operator informs me police and fire department are on the way, and i hang up.
I call my dad, crying. I tell him i'm okay, but i've been in an accident. I tell him where i am, and her says he's on his way. As i'm on the phone, i can hear police sirens arriving. I hang up, and shortly afterward the first officer arrives. I tell him i'm okay, just shaken up. I can't find my ID, i have to retrieve it from the car. At this point, other officers and firefighters are on the scene, getting information from the other driver.
I give the officers my license and insurance card, and explain what happened - i wasn't paying attention, and i rear ended him. I tried to stop but I couldn't. I don't know if his turn signal was on. I know you're not supposed to admit guilt in these situations, but I was still in shock, and i honestly don't know how to phrase "I rear ended someone" in a way that doesn't make it sound like my fault.
They write down my information, check the car (it's fine except for the crack, and the smoke was actually airbag dust). They inform me the other driver is mostly okay, but is reporting back pain and will be escorted to the hospital just to be sure. The get him on a stretcher and take him away. This car gets pulled out of the intersection. At this point most of the firefighters and police have cleared away, leaving me in the hands of one officer. Since my car wash driveable, she lead me to pull over on the side of a different road.
I hopped out, and gave her more information. Another officer also comes over before he leaves with a bag in his hand. The guy I hit was actually a delivery driver for a food delivery app, and the food had yet to be delivered. He gave it to the other officer and left.
At this point, my dad had arrived. He comforted me and said it was okay. "That's why they're called 'accidents' and not 'intentionals.'" He'd already informed my mom of what happened. We finished up talking with the officer, who gave me a piece of paper with the case number and other details, letting me know i'd likely receive a citation in the mail in a few days ($98, which I have been informed might be lowered at the court date as it's my first offense).
We take my car to the dealer, as the airbag couldn't be fixed by the fire department. The seatbelt also stopped working properly. I honestly don't care enough to get the cosmetic damage fixed, so long as the car functions properly.
I'm home safe now. I have insurance, so i hopefully won't have to pay much (although i am not looking forward to those insurance premiums). I'll update if anything interesting happens. I do plan on writing an apology letter for the poor man i hit, as regardless of if his signal was on or not, it's still my fault. Even though everything turned out pretty okay, I don't think i'll stop feeling guilty until I can give him a proper apology.
TL;DR: I wasn't paying attention and experienced my first car crash, accidentally rear ending and innocent food delivery driver.
Resethel: NTA honestly, for not running away, calling the police, checking on the other driver and so on.
Monkeys in a 1-2T piece of engineering are bound to make mistakes at some point, so please, don’t feel overly guilty about it !
Amazing_Excuse_3860: Thank you, I needed to hear that
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1674846032 | 1674851604 | t3_10mswag | t5_2to41 | 161 | Beeotiful: TIFU by signing up for an ice water dunking without properly thinking through that it’s going to be really really cold!
Decided this is the year I would get out of my comfort zone, do a few bucket list things and a few challenging things- some scary, some nice.
There’s an increasing movement of people going cold water swimming in the sea or lakes in the winter and I’ve become a bit obsessed with it but don’t personally know anyone who does it, so felt a bit sad and probably a lot of relief that I could pretend I would do it but couldn’t.
However… a work colleague uses ice baths following the Wim Hof breathing techniques and is an obsessive advocate about all the health benefits. She goes on about it all the time. I got enthusiastic enough to sign up (and pay!) for a workshop which is less than a month away. You learn the correct breathing which apparently stops it being so awful when you then go in the ice water.
I’ve been so smug about checking off one of my challenges that I hadn’t really contemplated that I actually have to do it!
It was brought home to me this morning. The advice is prepare to for it in advance by turning the shower to cold at the end and stay in for as long as you can. My shower is so poor I have to move around to get wet and even then I could only manage 5 seconds! It was awful and I’m going to have to build up to minutes in less than a month.
Unless the breathing technique is equivalent to general anaesthetic it’s going to be horrific! I’m getting really scared.
Regardless, I’m determined to do it and posting on here for accountability.
TL;DR smugly signed up for an ice-bath workshop and the horrible realisation has just hit me that I actually need to go through with it and it’s going to be FREEZING!
KingGamer2357: It's unfortunate that you are not prepared yet, but I gotta say, I'm pumped for the update.
Beeotiful: Whatever happens I have to do it! Just gradually moving from smug and excited to terrified!
KingGamer2357: Always important to try new things in life, so good luck?
Beeotiful: This is my year!!
| 5 | 32.2 | |
1672985191 | 1673010990 | t3_104mklu | t5_2to41 | 2,233 | theantigrinch: TIFU by deciding to be petty and getting back at my MIL online only to be fired for inappropriate social media behavior.
About ten days ago, on Christmas, my mother in law declared that I bought to many presents for my daughter. Due to that, she took removed the gift she got my daughter to avoid "spoiling her". My wife agreed with her mother, and out of rage I took back the $600 designer bag I bought my MIL. (Originally posted on r/amitheasshole but got removed so post can be found on r/pettyrevenge).
From the comments on r/amitheasshole many people gave me the idea to return the bag I got my MIL and use it towards a day out with my daughter. I thought that was brilliant but took the idea too far by posting a picture of the bag and my daughter with the doll and alluding to the fact that this was my MIL original gift. People kept messaging me on reddit asking for updates on how that day went, and sadly not the best.
My MIL saw the post and made comments under the post slandering me along with my wife and her family. Instead of being a bit of a more mature adult and talking things out in person, I engaged with the comments. My MIL was trying to pain my as the villain for not getting her a proper gift and her family was as awhile. I fought back with the comments and my section became a mess. I was tired of dealing with everything so I set my phone aside and fell asleep.
Then I wake up and start my day like no other and arrive at work. My job is very image conscious so I shouldn't have been surprised when I was called in to talk to my boss. He explained how my instagram post didn't display the equality and good-manner of the company and I needed to delete my instagram post.
Of course I complied, I wasn't going to lose my job over being petty. However, over the hours of being at my job my MIL and her family made posts insinuating bad thing about me while tagging me in them. Along I could untag myself from those posts my boss explained the situation kept gaining traction and he couldn't risk it damaging company image so I was fired.
Yes fired for being petty and my wife just responded with "its karma". Maybe it is, but I don't regret anything. Job searching will be fun.
TL;DR: Decided to be petty and mess with MIL online. Blew back on me and put the company I worked for in a compromising position and I got fired.
Zerychbrx13: Woah your wife is really NOT supportive. I mean, we don't have the full picture but god damn, being victim of a smear campaign to the point of getting fired and getting no support from the person whose family did that... That sucks.
Quirky_Movie: Yes, I'd divorce your wife RIGHT NOW, unemployed and don't get a job until the settlement is complete.
Zerychbrx13: Let's chill a bit there might be other solution here or at least I hope so.
Quirky_Movie: If OP works in an image based industry this may impact his ability to earn the same amount going forward.
OP made enough to spend $600 on his MIL. He isn't earning a small paycheck. Do you really think another employer will want to hire someone for a management level position whose family lead a smear campaign against him?
I have worked as an EA in high profile positions. My background checks have involved up to 20 people from my entire work history found on my social media accounts--NOT people I provided as references. When you get into employers who care what things look like? They deep dive to make sure you're clean.
MIL cost him a job and might have long term impacts on his employment in the future. I would certainly end my relationship with a spouse who acted like that was no big deal and definitely at a time when that person would not get great alimony.
Gorthaurl: The solution to all of this is: don’t have social media. They’re not necessary.
Sycopathy: Not having social media is a negative nowadays. There are many employers that want someone with a reasonable social media presence over a ghost.
Gorthaurl: So I won’t work for them. Having no social media is so so liberating. There’s almost nothing good there anymore anyway.
Svenskensmat: You’re on Reddit though.
Gorthaurl: Listen here you little shit.
/s
| 10 | 223.3 | |
1672985166 | 1673126242 | t3_104mkar | t5_2to41 | 365 | pfunk1989: TIFU by pretending to be a plumber, listening to my 3 year old son.
Long time lurker, first time poster, hope this is a worthy read; occurred early 2022.
TLDR at end.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning, ideal for a walk with my 3 year old son, which we embarked upon. Knowing there were several things to take care of that day, i.e. yard work, "look at" leaking shower head, misc. chores. etc., we headed back to the house to get started.
He can identify different utility markings / metal plates such as water, electric, and gas, so I told him that we would look at the leaking shower when we got home, and that the water flows through the water meter, which we would look at before going inside the house. Unfortunately, I did not actually visit the water meter (relevant later.) I grabbed a Flat Head screwdriver knowing that there is a cap that needs to be popped off, as I had adjusted the temperature of the shower before, and a Phillips Head just in case.
We headed upstairs. I stepped into the walk-in shower and closed the glass door while my son stood and watched. I removed the cap and took the cover off of the housing (Kenmore for anyone that is curious) and tried to see if there was anything wrong, i.e. loose gaskets, screws, etc. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary (again, not a plumber...,) I proceeded to try and look further inside the housing by removing another screw.
Bad idea.
No sooner had I started to remove the screw than (seemingly) a fire hydrant's volume of water blasted me in the face. I honestly don't remember the 15 seconds that followed, but I do remember saying "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck" in quick succession.
My son, who does not know that word, still sensed that something was awry, asked "Daddy, what has happened?" My response was something along the lines of poorly reassuring him that everything was okay. Everything was in fact, not okay.
One's first instinct after fucking up is to undo the fuck up, kind of like CTRL + Z in the PC world, which I am MUCH more familiar with. So, I attempted to CTRL + Z the situation by putting the part of the housing back on that blew off as a result of removing the screw. Common sense had not kicked in yet about how stupid of an idea it was to try to stem the flow of a 3" diameter stream of water, putting out several gallons of water per minute. Regardless, I tried.
I do not remember the last time I expended so much physical effort into something, but I made noises that I had never heard before (much less from myself), which was probably concerning to my son. My son was not freaked out, instead, he somehow assessed that I was struggling to do something (which I VERY MUCH was,) and said "You can do it daddy!" several times. Only briefly wondering how exactly he knew I was riding the struggle bus, I thought to myself that "I CAN do this," and spent several more precious minutes on the same, doomed path, at which point the water is over the 5" lip of the shower and flowing into the bathroom.
Not too long after, my wife walks in and, after about 10 seconds of speechlessness, yells "ROY (not real name) WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!"
The water had begun dripping through the first floor ceiling apparently, which caused minor concern to begin with(it may have been the rain outside???), followed by major panic from the Mrs. I knew that I did not have a water key to turn the water off at the street, so I had her call a neighbor, who luckily was not too far away, and had a water key. He answered the phone asking what's going on and I, yelling, said "NOT MUCH JUST FLOODING MY HOUSE. WHAT ABOUT YOU?" Ignoring his confused silence, I asked him to come over ASAP and turn my water off at the street.
My wife called my dad who lived about 25+ minutes away in hysterics directly after, apparently, saying the house was under water (a slight exaggeration), after which, instead of asking questions, he headed our way.
Fortunately, I came to my senses and remembered that I had a turn-off valve inside the house, which is when I left the shower (pool) and ran downstairs to turn off.
The turn-off valve took a couple of minutes to take effect, but the bane of Noah did eventually stop flowing. My neighbor shows up soon after to turn the water off at the street, which ensured there was no extra pressure flowing to the house. He went to grab his shop-vac and a fan from his house while I pulled out my own shop-vac and fans.
Fortunately, there was no permanent damage done after several hours of vacuuming and mopping up water, just the (now) hilarious retelling of the story from a 3 year old's point of view of how Daddy flooded the house, and how he slipped and fell (no real injury) and had to stand on a chair for a half hour. Some mold prevention primer and paint made everything as brand as newish.
Moral of the story: turn the water to the house off before attempting any water repairs or "lookings at."
TLDR: Pretended to be a plumber and fix a leaky showerhead, listened to three year old son, flooded part of the house.
technicolorNoise: OP, you might have fucked up, but at least your son has a funny story to tell everyone you know. :)
pfunk1989: Indeed. It flows into conversation occasionally, such as when daycare's sprinkler system pipes froze and burst recently and caused a flood, and he asks "Like you did daddy?" Yes, like daddy did.
AjahnAnarchy: If you own a home you should know where your water shut off is and you shouldn’t need a key for it.
pfunk1989: Sad thing is I knew exactly where it was but didn't remember until it was too late.
AjahnAnarchy: Bummer.
pfunk1989: Plumber bummer 😞
| 7 | 52.142857 | |
1672986261 | 1673048070 | t3_104mw5o | t5_2to41 | 28 | Odarien: TIFU By locking my stepfather out of the front door
I've been staying with my Stepfather for several years now, ever since my Mother passed. Me and Stepdad never really got along, we had some vague interests like board games, and Indiana jones but we never clicked. So there's always been this sort of awkwardness between us at best, at worst just plain not getting along. Well Four years ago he quit his job in a Huff and I've been paying for literally everything in the house since, hard with how little my job pays. But i've born it out of obligation to my late Mother. Two years later he got diagnosed with COPD, Psoriasis of the liver, and possible Lukemia. Not the best combo, and life's been stressful for him. He managed to quit drinking at least but his liver is shot.
Anyway the man hasn't worked/hasn't been able to work but he's been getting crankier, mentioning how he's taking care of me. (though I'm the one paying for everything he only just this month started disability.) Getting grouchier, sometimes he gets better and apologies but he slips back into grouchiness before long.
But tonight well things came to a head, Our front door's latch hasn't worked and I'm not good with tools nor having the money to replace it, we've been using the deadbolt to keep the door closed. Tonight I noticed that the key was still in the door (we sometimes forget to put it back in. I didn't see him outside so i took the key back in and locked the door. Going back to play a game with some friends online. So I had headphones on. Well, Stepdad turns out was outside, and upon knocking on the door a few times he decided to Break down the door and demand I leave the house. I tried to explain to him that I didn't know he was outside, but he didn't care and demanded the "manbaby" leave.
So, now I'm going to be moving out Hopefully very soon, Though this whole situation while very stressful I have some friends reaching out to help which has been nice. But I'm just confused why he didn't just go through the back door, it doesn't even have a lock.
TL;DR Locked the front door, front door is now Broken, and I'm getting kicked out of the house
q_t_puella: i dont know where this is going to go, if youll continue to live there or if youll stay in touch with him after moving but i want to prepare you for a possibility. liver disease is worse than you think and could be the reason for his mood, it causes encephalitis due to not being able to filter toxins ot of the blood, this can be prevented with a drug (i dont remember the name but its a drinkable and makes you shit all the stuff out) but often patients end up refusing to take it because it huts. when theres a build up they lose who they are, some of their memory, theyre scared, in pain and become violent, think a hurt animal.
sorry for the messy comment, tough subject for me
HeckinHope: I can second this. My dad became a heavy drinker late in life and developed cirrhosis of the liver. When that happens, your body no longer flushes out the ammonia in your system and it causes a lot of memory problems, hallucinations, anger, and eventually will lead to the inability to swallow and breathe. My dad couldn’t talk and thought he was in the 1970’s. He kept pointing to things that weren’t there.
Sorry, just wanted to point out that this comment is accurate.
q_t_puella: its amazing how few people know about this, was 10 years ago and he had been seeing a liver specialist in one of the best hospitals in the uk for 20 years and yet nobody thought to tell us until there was already symptoms. i hate to think how many people have to go through this, im so sorry about your dad mate and sorry you and your family had to go through that.
HeckinHope: Yeah, when my mom got really sick and had a stroke, no one even bothered to tell me what to expect. They didn’t even tell me what part of her brain was affected. They were just like, “Welp, she’s going to die in a few months, bye”, and literally tried to kick my mom out without telling us. She was fu king brain damaged and they acted like she could just go home and die now, thank you very much.
Thank you for you kind words. I hope you are well, and I’m sorry for your loss as well.
| 5 | 5.6 | |
1672983719 | 1673172615 | t3_104m48k | t5_2to41 | 3 | DarthDioBrando: TIFU by playing RDR2 rather than waiting to go out.
Just now I really messed up and pissed both my parents when we're die to go to the hospital.
For the last few years I had this problem in which I felt the need to take a dump after eating a meal. Sometimes it only releases air, other times it releases such a load of shit that my ass hurts. Anyway for obvious reasons we did not go to the hospital to check things up and right now it was suggested that a check-up is forthcoming.
Well that's where things went sideways.
You see I recently bought Red Dead Redemption 2 for the PC and I've been quite hooked like some of you folks know. I've been playing from 9 or 10 in the morning up to either 10 or 11 at night. Anyway at the day of my appointment on the hospital I was supposed to wait for my parents to get ready. Instead, feeling bored I started RDR2 and played first a mission involving those legendary gunslingers then rescuing a woman held hostage at the swamp. I did both tasks handily but unbeknownst to me (a) my parents are waiting for me right now and (b) a massive downpour suddenly soaked the place. Needless to say my parents are literally yelling at me to go to the car right now and things were extremely wet, to the point that even the inside of the car was drenched. My parents are pretty much furious right now.
TLDR: I played when I supposed to be waiting and thus I had to check on my stomach after an unwanted downpour bath.
BuzzedtheTower: >I've been quite hooked like some of you folks know. I've been playing from 9 or 10 in the evening up to either 10 or 11 at night
Uh, isn't that like only like an hour? That doesn't seem like that much time
DarthDioBrando: I meant morning.
BuzzedtheTower: Oh, ok. That makes a shit ton more sense
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1672985565 | 1672998284 | t3_104mono | t5_2to41 | 5 | FlashyLaugh5033: TIFU by tripping an alarm on the company IT security system
A few weeks ago my company decided to remove admin privileges (windows OS) in everyone's laptop due to security issue. Not an issue or relevance if you're not developing or testing software stuffs.
However, that's not the case for me. Somehow the upper management decided to assign me to do those stuff, I've approach the IT person to grant me admin privileges (he redirect me to contact HQ without anyone to contact) and I've emailed him twice in two weeks before the accident. (From the day I join the company until now, he'd never reply my emails or assist me with any issues.)
Somehow knowing a little about computer, I thought "hey maybe it's a good idea to create a special cmd to grant myself admin privilege easily".
So I did created a special key to grant me instant admin privileges(bypass bitlocker and admin privileges, it's kind of illegal so I won't describe in details). It felt so great bypassing a huge company security system like in 2hrs max.
The following day, I had a thought. What if they could detect the bypass? But I just discarded that thought because no way in hell someone is going to care when they have millions of employees to look after.
Pop open my laptop with pride of my new shiny admin privileges, nothing could stop me... until a few hours later. An email mentioned my name and the managers name as well as the HQ names, asking about my laptop security breach. My face was like oh fuck, but I played it cool and ignore the email hoping that my manager would too.
Before lunch, my manager talk to me directly asking about the breach. I played it cool and say I have no idea what happened, but in the end he was a cool boss convincing me to say the truth. I did and I sent my laptop to the IT guy.
Now I am trying to figure out how to settle it without leaving a stain on my name. Maybe tell then I was trying to test their security system? Like white/Grey hat stuff.
(TL;DR , bypass the company security system in 2hours felt good but didn't realized that I have tripped an alarm on security and now waiting for discussion)
Update 1: They ask me how I did it so I briefly explain my intentions, but they couldn't reverse my exploit physically but the exploit is no longer works anyway so they let me go. He told me to go through offical channels(yea right as if i did not email you twice about it) .
And now i am waiting for the IT guy reply to the HQ
Hk-Neowizard: Sorry, but this just sounds so made up.
Did you exploit a vulnerability? Is it zero-day or do you have a CVE to share? Which program did you attack to elevate your permissions? Was it persistent? Maybe you'd be better off taking the begs of money MS would offer for such a bug bounty, rather than toy around.
FlashyLaugh5033: It's a known vulnerability since the start of windows 10 and there's been a lot of forum guiding it as well. But I am not going to mention the exploit. It's not a zero day exploit.
There is no software or hardware mods, just using cmd to dig around the vulnerabilities. If you're with a IT security consultant and want to know about it I am more than willing to direct you to the correct resources.
Hk-Neowizard: As a cyber security researcher, I'd love to see those resources
| 4 | 1.25 | |
1674851958 | 1675021641 | t3_10mveli | t5_2to41 | 17 | holypotatooftr: TIFU by being honest to my gf
we are both 15 and today we kissed and hugged a lot but when she tried to hug me tighter i got back a bit because i had a boner.then went to our homes and she asked me why i got back . this is my first relationship so i asked my friend for advice and he told me to be honest and tell her.i tried to tell her kindly but she kind of overreacted.she told me she feels cold and wont get close to me anymore.she thinks i am weird but i just cant help it.she told me even if we meet again she wont come closer than 5 meters.please help me i cant and wont live without her.we are together for 2-3 months.when i asked her when and if she will go back to normal.i also told her if she wants to break up because i dont want to make her angrier.do you think if this will be my first breakup and please tell me any advice.i am going to another country a few hours later and wont be here for 3 days.thanks for all the advice and sorry for my bad english .
TL;DR
we got very close so i had a boner and told her when we got home;she got very angry and i think she will break up with me.
edit:she will probably leave me today i tried to talk to her and she said she feels cold to me and is disgusted by me but i begged her to meet one more time so we could talk without stopping.she also still doesnt believe me about me not wanting to do it rn.
StonedMuse: You're 15 you'll be fine. You still have so much ahead of you a silly little breakup at 15 is nothing but a lesson to be learned and something we all go through. Plus your a 15yr old male your at the age were your lower head likes to do most of the thinking, and I think you handled the situation perfect honestly is the best policy. Your both young her being weirded out by the male body or being confused over the situation isn't unusual. You have to remember not everyone gets the same the birds & bess talk at home as everyone else, and honestly do they even teach sex-ed and such in schools anymore? She might not quite understand what's going on or her knowledge of sex Ed isn't the same knowledge you have some parents are really strict and werid about that stuff and don't understand it themselves so they can properly teach their offspring. And if she is religious her religion could play a huge part in her response to the situation as a lot of religions view sex or anything related to it especially premarital as a sin. Basically don't let the girl you've been dating for 3ish months be the end all be all because she got grossed out by your boner, your 15 your young and still have your whole life ahead of you there's plenty of fish in the sea and you'll find someone one day. But honestly your 15 right now you shouldn't even be so hung up by a girl go out live your life do the things you wanna do experience it all, love comes and goes but loving yourself and giving yourself the best life is the most important right now, and one day in the future you'll be sitting somewhere with your lovely partner thinking about this post and having a good laugh wondering why you got so worked up over your first girlfriend. Best of luck my dude but remember you did nothing wrong and please please please keep the attitude of being completely honest and up front with all your future partners don't let this one reaction ruin your honesty because she couldn't handle it. Honesty and open communication are in my opinion the two most important things in any relationship so you are winning there and keep that up it will get you where you need to go and with the right person when the time comes.
holypotatooftr: wow this was pretty long no shest not religiouand i only want that fish
StonedMuse: Kid if your allowing yourself to get so hung up over a girl you dated for 3ish months than you have WAY BIGGER problems than her being grossed out by your boner. You know in a year's time you'll be different than you where at 15 and she will be to and honestly high school sweethearts rarely ever work out. And dude I think you need to step back and reread all these comments and your response, some of them make you seem borderline obsessed and that is a way bigger problem. You can't get over a 3month first fling your going to struggle greatly with so many other aspects of your life. Let it go move on and maybe learn from this post on how you can work on this short coming. I totally get how strong and intense those feelings can get, I thought I'd only ever love the boy I thought I loved at 15 but now he barley even crosses my mind. The boy who threatened to kill himself when we were 15 because I broke up with him now has a happy family and probably never thinks about me. You have to take a step back and really look at the situation. if you have a trusted parent at home or a trusted adult you know please go talk to them about this. You can hear it all from us strangers but sometimes hearing the same thing from a trusted adult in your life will actually resonate with you.
(Edited for spelling & missing words)
holypotatooftr: thanks i already am obsessed with her and i cant talk to my parents because were not close
StonedMuse: You just said you were obsessed you need to step the fuck back take a breath and let her go. Obsession isn't always a good thing and can lead to some dangerous, messed up situations. The best advice at this point would be for you to find an adult you trust and can communicate with and talk to them about all of this. The more of your responses I read the more worried I become about you, your mental health and copping/judgement skills. Please find a trusted adult to talk to about this. Some of the things you are saying are to close to things ppl I personally know have said and it ended badly, I don't personally know you but I don't want that for you. Please reach out to an adult you personally know and feel like you can trust.
holypotatooftr: yeah im prolly die because of suicide and sadly there are no adults i can talk to the oldest person i can talk to is my 21 yo cousin
StonedMuse: I hate seeing this. Do you feel comfortable talking with your cousin? If so please try and build a connection with them or even with a friends parent. Suicide is never the answer my friend. I know sometimes the days seem so dark and like you'll never see the light again or know happiness but I promise you can and you will. I myself have struggled with suicidal thoughts and at 29 still do but unlike at 15 I know these feelings will pass and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Your young things will get better but honestly focus on yourself and loving yourself before trying to live others, it might feel like you can't live without her but honestly you can't live without you take care of you first. Sending lots of love.
holypotatooftr: thank you you are very nice but i always feel like this is a pit more than a tunnel and i keep falling down
StonedMuse: 🫂🫂🫂 depression is a bitch it truly is but trust me friend take the time each day to honor yourself do something that makes you feel happy or do things you use to love it's hard and painful sometimes but this little process will help you slowly but surely drag yourself out of that pit. It's hard at 15 everything feels so intense, like nobody else gets or understands you and that your just alone in the world but trust me everyone who has committed on your post has felt the same way at one point or another in their life it's our curse as humans. Just remember though without the sadness and pain you will truly never know pure happiness love and joy we have to take it all in the good the bad, the ugly and the beautiful it helps shape us and makes us who we are without the pain we wouldn't know joy with out the ugly we wouldn't know beauty. Being a teenager is hard some days but trust me you can get threw it and it can and will get better.🫂🫂🫂
holypotatooftr: only if i could find anything that made me happy other than her
StonedMuse: Oh sweet thing I just want to send you all the hugs you can and you will trust me. I dated this guy when I was around 14/15 years old, he became obsessed with me and very possessive I had to end it as I was scared for my safety. This boy than proceeded to threaten to kill himself daily because he couldn't live with out me and such. Actually disappeared for awhile and got all his friends to tell me he killed himself and it was all my fault. Well he didn't kill himself he was upset and heartbroken for awhile but he eventually moved on and now he has a wife and kids and seems very happy with his life and at one point he thought of ending it because we didn't work out at 15. He almost threw it all away because of some childhood crush don't let that be you. Good things come. Trust me it's just one of the many bumps in your road you'll get over this one and laugh at how you even allowed it to be an obstacle on your life path. I know I'm just a stranger on the Internet but I believe in you and I believe great things are coming your way you just have to believe in yourself and fuck I know that's hard. I'm just barley starting to believe in myself again after a deep depression from 23-29 but I'm still here even after convincing myself I'd be dead at 26. Your still young you have so much life ahead of you don't miss out on all the fun your going to have and the amazing experiences you have yet to experience. Don't deny yourself that.
holypotatooftr: wow youre the nicest person on the internet and that story is internesting
StonedMuse: I'm just human and I hate seeing other down and out. Plus I have a brother who's 14 and I would never ever want him feeling the way you are feeling and would tell him the exact same things I am telling you. The world is filled with to much anger and hate and I don't want to feed into that. There are people who come to reddit it for advice or help because they have nowhere else to turn and ppl can be so heartless hidden behind a screen, if I can be any short of light or goodness in someone else's life I will be because strangers have done the same for me at my lowest. Again I know I'm a stranger but I want you to know I'm cheering for you and that there are people in this world who care and want to help. I'm sorry if anything I said was mean, I'm just telling you what I would have wanted an adult to tell me at your age and what I would tell my own brother. And sometimes sharing similar experiences can show that hey others have been there to and if they made it out so can you. Idk where you are but if the sun is out like it is where I am go outside and stand in it for a bit a let that warmth fill you. We're glorified house plants you know and sometimes all we need is a little bit of sunshine, water and kind words, to help us get growing again.
holypotatooftr: you really are a great person thank you!
StonedMuse: Sending you so many of my big sister bear hugs 🫂🫂
holypotatooftr: so many brother hugs from me
| 17 | 1 | |
1672992823 | 1672998740 | t3_104opmo | t5_2to41 | -3 | [deleted]: TIFU by being tricked by a straight guy into dating him last update
[deleted]
Fun-Pea-880: This is why when you find someone who puts up with your ass and loves you as much as you love them, you hold on with both hands and use every toe to grab on.
I, unfortunately, failed 19 years ago, coming up on 20 this 30th. There is nothing you can do but try to learn to live with yourself and continue living day by day.
yeetskeetcallthecops: Did you even read the other posts ? Cause your comment doesn’t work at all for OPs scenario. He shouldn’t have held on with both hands and every toe.
| 3 | -1 | |
1672993964 | 1673045163 | t3_104p0c3 | t5_2to41 | -3 | TheQueenOfDemons_: TIFU by not telling my bf i was uncomfortable
So me (17 f) and my bf (17m)
Have a very intimate relationship with each other and not long ago we tried to try something new and in the middle of it I started to feel uncomfortable I tried to tell him but I'm naturally a very quiet person so he didn't notice this at first but in the second he sewed that I'm uncomfortable he stopped immediately but unfortunately for me it was a few seconds to late I was already in a middle of a panic attack and he started to apologize profusely and he was so kind and I know he didn't do it on purpose because he is the type of guy that doesn't force you to do things and he is just chill about everything so even before everything that happened he asked me multiple times if I want to do this and I said yes.
But now I feel very different after that happened I can't do anything but cry (the story happened half a year ago )
But now the memories have come back and I don't know why but I feel very guilty for that maybe if I wasn't quiet maybe it would not have happened.
My bf tells me that it's not my fault and he takes all of the responsibility at the "accident" and he told me that he needed to notice my body language more it's been 6 months by now and he still apologizes for that but I feel like I can't be completely intimate with him again after that I just feel very uncomfortable to think about intimacy at all I wasn't very sexual person in the first place but after that all of my s drive disappear..
I don't know what to do because I don't want a stupid mistake to ruin the only healthy relationship I ever had he is literally the light of my life and he loves me ass much equally
TL;DR
Me and my bf were intimate and he didn't really hear me because I'm a very quiet person and now I have panic attacks and anxiety attacks
slimzimm: What was this new thing that you tried that now gives you panic attacks?
TheQueenOfDemons_: I'm not really comfortable with telling.. Sorry
nanny2359: Don't apologize that guy is just trying to get off on your pain
slimzimm: I’m not, you’re making unfair assumptions. It’s a relevant question.
nanny2359: No it's not
slimzimm: Apparently you don’t understand what relevant means.
nanny2359: You're not fooling anyone, trying to make an *underage child* give you details about *sexual acts* that *traumatized her.* You're a disgusting fucking little shit.
slimzimm: You’re a horrible person for trying to make me out to be a bad person
OP: “This thing upset me”
Me: ‘What upset you?’
You: REEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Go fuck yourself!
| 9 | -0.333333 | |
1672986339 | 1673023011 | t3_104mx0s | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by going to a birthday part for a girl I was interested in
[deleted]
parabolicurve: I don't know about being a "good story". It's just depressing to me.
Sadpuppydawg: Don’t check out his other post about it then
| 3 | 5 | |
1672999412 | 1673007402 | t3_104qgog | t5_2to41 | 132 | rabbitt-we: New year, new fuck ups
sps97grt: A very basic TIFU but I flunked my interview by talking how my team in my current company sucks. That's a major red flag apparently. Guess I need more interview experience.
Gottacatch_7777: Yea some stuck up corporation takes it bad, however your literally better off stop existing if you will hide things you don’t like for others sake. Im not saying this directly to you, but think of it? You wanna leave a place cuz its sucks and you cant tell anyone it sucks cuz then they reject you? Fuck that! There are companies who are happy to hear about it anyway.
sps97grt: Yeah it's such a losing game situation.
If you say your team is really supportive, then they'd be like you don't have a reason to change companies.
But if you say your team was toxic, you'd be blamed for putting down your teammates.
FreeFortuna: Or the question like, “Tell me about a time when you had problems with a colleague.” You can’t really answer it without saying something negative about the colleague or yourself, or making it into some “miscommunication” that doesn’t actually insult anyone’s communication skills.
Then after you say the bad thing(s), you have to spin it into “But then I did this and that, lesson learned, problem solved, everyone was happy!”
Except with the questions about why you want to leave your current company, the “I did this and that” is “I decided I want to leave, and now I’m here interviewing with you.” Not a great story.
Basically, with the “why are you leaving” question, you shouldn’t really talk about why you’re leaving Company X, but instead about why you want to work at Company Y.
“While in my current role, I discovered a passion for building bebop widgets. Your company’s bebops are widely considered to be the best in the industry, and I think it’d be an amazing chance for me to use my widgeting skills to help more people discover how bebops can change their lives!”
You didn’t actually answer the question they asked, but you gave them the answer they wanted to hear.
Yes, it’s BS. It’s always BS. But you know that “common wisdom” about being careful with people who gossip behind other people’s backs, because they’ll gossip about you too? It’s that kind of logic. Don’t be the gossiper. Say nice things behind people’s backs, and the people you’re talking to will think that you’re a nice person too. After all, they’d be the ones who have to work with you. Make sure they want to.
sps97grt: Yeah that's a good point. Thanks for the advice!
| 6 | 22 | |
1673003818 | 1673008731 | t3_104romj | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by instigating with a friend and I feel horrible.
[deleted]
wateredhand: Maybe you should see a therapist, it screams mental issues to me.
Krocan503: That's a bit extreme for a squabble between young adults...
wateredhand: I am not saying that cause of the squabble, I am saying this cause of op's inability to explain, what I would consider a decently sane reason, and blaming herself afterwards.
Krocan503: Not everyone is able or has the ability to see it in the moment or even after the fact.
| 5 | 1.8 | |
1674853678 | 1674855671 | t3_10mw3os | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by being not so subtle as i thought abt my masturbation habits.
[deleted]
MSGRiley: Maybe I can interest you in a book given to me by the Catholic titled "You're a sinner and that's pure evil coming out of you."
Your brother was probably masturbating and thinking the same thing. Dude.... chill. All dudes masturbate. Everyone knows it.
Try not to be disgusting about it and you're fine. Like, don't Louis CK anyone or anything, just try to have some discretion.
Flamingotough: Is that book title supposed to motivate me to expel as much pure evil as I can?
MSGRiley: As I understand it, that is exactly what it has done for many a young man.
| 4 | 2 | |
1672999540 | 1673045351 | t3_104qhxy | t5_2to41 | 63 | emilyharmonia: TIFU by leaving my laptop's wires exposed
Edited for formatting.
NOTE: I have one of those laptops where the monitor can flip back and turn itself into a tablet. An important detail, because it made me feel particularly confident in its durability. This was a mistake.
I like to think that, until now, I've avoided more mishaps with this computer than any other computer I've owned. The worst things I remember happening to it were bumping it into a doorframe once, and it slipping sideways off of a short couch. So I'm still kind of surprised this happened in the first place - but back in September its hinges started coming apart. First, the plastic under the screen was separating around the edges, then days later a piece of said plastic fell off, leaving the screws and what looked like a metal plate exposed. Over time, these pieces also began to deteriorate. I know nothing about laptop anatomy, but compared to the left hinge the right one looked almost like it had been filleted - just layers of seperate parts. My monitor became wobbly, the metal started laying flat against the speaker, and I was scared to close it, but I put off getting it fixed due to money and time. I could've probably DIY'd something to keep it together, but I was afraid of somehow making it worse. It was still working anyways, so instead I was extra gentle when handling it.
Cut to a month or so later and *everything between the monitor and the keyboard* has come apart. There's a gap between them, and two thick cables are the only things keeping it in one piece. Contrary to what my inaction would have you think, this scared me, and my laptop would no longer hold itself upright, but again I put it off. It wasn't worth it. Tight on funds. I don't have the time. The touchscreen started going haywire, thinking it was getting rapidfire input up the sides of the screen, so I disabled it. Then the Wacom chip(?), apparently used for the touchscreen, detached from the monitor. Then detached from its cable, leaving essentially a bundle of wires hanging out, with a covering that I would later find out can ALSO fray and unravel. Nope, still not taking it in yet. If it stayed somewhat stationary in my room nothing horrific could happen to it, right? I'd figured that since the monitor could turn 360 degrees, I didn't have to worry about its cords snapping. I now feel like a complete and utter idiot for thinking that was what I had to worry about.
About a week ago, both the cables keeping the monitor attached and the broken set of wires from the digitizer started shocking me. Whatever had been covering them before was starting to wear away. My solution was to keep it off my lap. But in hindsight, I can't believe I didn't take this as a final warning. Tonight I was sorting through my bookmarks and listening to YouTube when all of a sudden I smelled something burning. Then I noticed tendrils of smoke rising from the gap in the computer. I nudged the monitor back instantly, confused, startled and scared, and *holy shit* the cord from the Wacom was on fire.
I was panicked, but successfully blew it out. While I was reeling, my browser crashed. I made a quick voice note of what had just happened, and then held down the power button. It seemed functional enough after this - pressing a random key made the screen display my battery percentage, as usual. But later, I went to get some electrical tape for it, came back, and powered it back on, only for it to become stuck on the startup screen. With the guidance of my computer geek little brother, I toggled the power a few times. It tried to perform an automatic repair, then froze. I got a "watchdog" error at some point, then we realized there was no use continuing to mess with it.
He says the hard drive should still be in good shape, as it's typically on the opposite corner of the one the fire happened at. Really, my only solace is the idea that all of my data is still intact. When he tried to help boot it up, he determined the operating system itself is likely 100% fucked. The fire, or whatever started it, seems like the only possible culprit. He assumes it damaged some of the hardware. The contents of my hard drive will to have to be moved to another PC, because at this point replacement will be cheaper than repair. I should have a functioning computer again within the week, but until then I feel kind of lost, because I've been working on a project that requires some of the files and programs on my Lenovo. Also, my anxiety has me semi-convinced that my hard drive is *also* fucked and I just haven't discovered that yet.
Above all, I'm kicking myself because this machine was pretty much on borrowed time for the last 3 months and I didn't stop to think about what could happen to it. I am, however, grateful the fire only happened while my full attention was on the computer.
TL;DR I didn't get my laptop repaired when its hinges started coming apart, and an exposed bundle of wires caught on fire. Laptop no longer boots up. I'm questioning how well my brain works, as well as every decision that has gotten me here.
Ultronomy: Your biggest mistake was not backing stuff up to a cloud or alternative physical device. Google drive is literally free. Never solely use a hard drive, I’ve heard so many horror stories…
fallingcats_net: The second biggest mistake was trying to restart an obviously defective and dangerous computer way too many times, thereby killing whatever data was still left
Ultronomy: At the very least, he will not (I hope) make this same mistake again.
emilyharmonia: I'm a she, actually, but yes. I learned a difficult lesson today.
Ultronomy: My bad. It’s okay, I learned a similar lesson one time when I tried to transfer my hard drive data to a solid state drive and then boot from that solid state drive… but I forgot to install the operating system onto the ssd and my data got messed up.
| 6 | 10.5 | |
1673006294 | 1673020730 | t3_104sed9 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Dooshbaguette: TIFU by handing my case worker a sex toy coupon
I have ADHD in all its colours, one being losing control over bills, spendings etc. Letters with threatening auras give me visceral anxiety (complete with diarrhoea, dangerously low BP etc), so they tend to go unopened.
Today, my unemployment/social rehab/debt case worker had me bring in all the letters I'd been too afraid to open so we could bring some order into my life. There was one particularly scary letter whose recipient field was bright red. No sender. I thought this was a threat of repo or something with a 1000% late fee markup. I was going to ask my mother to open and pre-read it for me, but it somehow didn't happen. Whew! But this letter might just have taught me my lesson more effectively than all the late fees in the world.
Because my case worker, around whom I'm very uncomfortable as it is, opens the letter, and to my speechless horror, I'm looking at a photo of a sex toy I'd ordered. Not a dildo or anything "immediately obvious", but there was a "how to use" drawing next to it (of a disembodied butt that might as well be a gourd). I don't know how much she saw before I snatched it from her hands, but she did read the title which was essentially the seller begging for a 5 star review in exchange for a coupon.
In short, I'd really like a new case worker in a new town on a new continent.
​
TL;DR: I handed my case worker a sex toy seller's written request for a review of the toy I bought, in exchange for a coupon. I had mistaken that letter for a scary debt collection thing because of the threatening envelope.
stringersbellss: What type of toy is it?
Dooshbaguette: Stainless steel dialator/expander 
stringersbellss: Hot!
| 4 | 1 | |
1673004434 | 1673009817 | t3_104rusr | t5_2to41 | 24 | SlightlyGamer: TIFU by taking 2 tabs by thinking they are old and wont kick
So the obligatory this was about 1.5 years back, i just had gotten home after being away for a month, i decided to sort out my computer table and found a baggie with old weed bud (had turned brown and super dry) and 2 hits of acid, my dumbass thought it would be funny to put them on my tongue and joke around with my sis that “im getting high” since I thought after sitting for close to 7 months in a drawer they have lost potency.
I was so so wrong…
Anyway, brother and his gf at the time came to visit with their daughter (she was 1) to hang out and such. Ofc my smart ass that i can show that i have 2 tabs on my tongue to my brother (about 30 min had passed at this time) and he thought it was pretty funny and we left it at that.
50 minutes in and still was not feeling anything so i spat them out and thought nothing of it, went for a smoke and joined everyone in the kitchen.
An hour in, then it started, at first it was just a tingling feeling in my fingertips but then it just went full send after. Around that time I realised i fucked up and im starting to trip, everyone else thought it was hilarious, I proceeded to go to my room where a very bad trip started, felt like music was heavily distorted and saw how my window cracked as i had a sharp pain in my chest as if i got shot, faces looked horrifying and overall feelings were not good at all.
Few hours in i managed to calm down by finding a nice playlist of random songs, that really helped, once i managed to get a grasp of the trip, it felt nice. Shortly after i managed to fall asleep and in the morning felt as if it never happened which was strange.
TLDR: took 2 7month old tabs thinking they wouldn’t hit, ended up in a heavy bad trip for hours while relatives came for a visit
catastrophiez: Why are you dumb lmfao
SlightlyGamer: I dont know lmao, I thought it was a good idea
ttystikk: There are stories of LSD remembering potent after decades, as long as it stays dry.
Maybe this episode taught you a lesson.
SlightlyGamer: Yes it did, basically dont take acid when im not really ready for a trip, plus to answer further, yes it was dry in the drawer
| 5 | 4.8 | |
1674854518 | 1674860369 | t3_10mwgei | t5_2to41 | 129 | Affectionatecello: TIFU by wearing nude panties to bed
[removed]
i_like_my_dog_more: Being able to not take yourselves too seriously is a fantastic sign for a relationship!
I'm happy for you two.
Affectionatecello: Thank you! We’ve been together for a year now and it’s been great. My family loves him as well
goldug: My relationship was just like that in the beginning too. It's been 12 years and it's still the same way between me and my wife 😊
You have a good start, keep it up and you'll be happy for the rest of your life, at least relationship-wise 🙂
Affectionatecello: Oh goodness I hope so! I love this man so much. I’m scared because he’ll be graduating soon and we don’t know if we’ll get to stay in the same town :(
| 5 | 25.8 | |
1674850958 | 1674867528 | t3_10mv01q | t5_2to41 | 4 | david_sii: TIFU and not being fully present this morning
I woke up this morning feeling numb due to the amount of work I've put in this month. I think it's some sort of depression but can't really identify what it is. I really didn't feel like doing anything at all but, I needed to get my kid up and myself out the door. My SO was already out the door and on her way to work. While I was getting ready for work she called me and asked if I would get her watch off the desk in her office and drop it off on my way into work. My SO uses it for health alerts when she's away from her phone. I said sure, as I looked down at my watched and realized I was going to make my kid 5 minutes late for school. This is the beginning of my FU's.
I started going through motions of getting dressed and rushing my kid along to get out the door. I remember to go into my SO office to get her watch off of her desk. When I get in the office I stand there and my mind goes instantly blank. I can't remember why I am in the office. I see my SO watch sitting on the desk and think dang it she left her watch at home and turn around to walk out the door. I rush my kid out the door and tell them we don't have time for breakfast we running late. My kid is asking for some cash for an event at school while walking to my car. I have a $20 bill in my pocket and think to myself great! I don't have to stop by the ATM, I can stop at McDonald's get breakfast and get a few singles for the event. As soon as I start the car and let it warm up I open up the McDonald app and start ordering and pay for it using my card on file. I back out and start driving I then remember I took cash out yesterday for that very reason to have cash on hand and put it in my center console. I became more and more aware I was on autopilot but, the rest of my mind was not catching up. I hand my kid a $5 and they asked "Are we not getting breakfast?" I said no we are I just remembered I had some cash stowed away here. When I get to McDonald's I confirm I'm here and I got the option to pick up the food through drive through, curbside, or in store. I look up and see the drive through is wrapped around the corner. I look in the store and see the McDonald's lady locking the doors (assuming they were short staffed) and walking back to the counter with no one else in the store. I pressed pick up in store. I get out of my car and walk to the door pulled it and thought to myself the door is locked. Walked back to my truck got in the drive through line which was shorter and faster. I ordered a cup of coffee with my mobile order.
After I got the first sip of that coffee my brain went into full review of the last 30 waking minutes of my life in turbo mode. My palms were immediately sweating and a wave of nausea swept over me. I couldn't believe I slept walk through 30 minutes of activities.
When I got to work I texted my SO the whole story so she wouldn't be wondering why I didn't drop off her watch.
​
TL;DR: My brain was stuck on autopilot for the first 30 minutes of my morning. I forgot my SO watch she uses for health alerts and paid for breakfast using my credit card when I had cash.
Traditional_Lack7153: Hopefully your wife is understanding of the pressure and stress you’ve been under. Sounds like you need at least an evening, if not a whole day to decompress and relax, post waking sleep event. Do you generally feel like you get enough sleep? (I’d guess not with a school aged kid)
david_sii: She’s been great and really supportive. I’ve been going to bed at 10pm regularly now. I drink sleepy time tea to make sure I rest through the night. The issue lately has been work and there’s been a few other stressors that contribute to my out of body experiences. We plan on taking some PTO and playing hooky together to refresh ourselves and clear our minds.
Traditional_Lack7153: That’s good to hear. Sometimes life put you in a position where you’re knuckling through so much you’re body and mind just want to be done with your current issues. Just make sure that you aren’t running yourself so thin that you have moments like these while you are driving. As someone who has a close family member that does crime scene and accident reports, you’d be floored by the number of incidents on the road that occur because people get worn down by stress and poor sleep and they just zone out for a moment or two. Sounds like you’ve got a great partner and kiddo that appreciate you especially when you’re feelin low. And that’s an amazing thing! You got this dude 😁
| 4 | 1 | |
1674855359 | 1675014646 | t3_10mwstf | t5_2to41 | 26 | TrickUp25: TIFU by insulting the company’s design that I was applying for
Today I had an interview for an internship as a graphic designer. Last semester I had to re-design a logo for a local company for a collage class. It was one of my recent and more successful pieces so I put it on the first spread of my portfolio. I had to explain the concept behind the project and I told them that I thought the logo wasn’t good and listed the reasons why.
After I presented my whole portfolio, the interviewer asks if I know who made the logo. I said no, and he told me that his company made the logo. He went into detail about why they made they the choices they did for it, but I still think it’s ugly. Very awkward and I had to apologize in an interview, which was a weird feeling. He was understanding and seemed like he didn’t mind the the critique.
The company does make really good work otherwise and I was really excited to get the position. Hopefully I get a second interview and we’ll just sweep that part under the rug.
TL:DR Was in an interview for an internship and I redesigned a logo the company I was applying for created and told them why I didn’t like it
AcrobaticSource3: > a collage class
Was it a collage class? Or a college class? It genuinely could be both, which is what I’m asking
TrickUp25: Not college lol, collage class* it was for Corporate Identity
AcrobaticSource3: Awesome! Good luck getting the internship, pls update when you hear back
TrickUp25: Okay for sure! I started applying to other internships as well now too and thou
| 5 | 5.2 | |
1673012459 | 1673047790 | t3_104uh3v | t5_2to41 | 1,720 | Indigows6800: TIFU and Accidentally Created a Mail Bomb at Work
As someone who just works at my job, I wanted to help improve communication between departments. So, I attempted to set up a filter in Mozilla Thunderbird to forward certain emails to our IT department.
I thought I had the filter set up correctly, with the basic rule being: if the subject of the email contains the word "Roll," forward it to IT. But I was wrong.
The next day, I received a call at home from my manager saying that our mail servers were completely full and not functioning properly. It turns out that every email I sent contained the word "Roll" in the subject line, triggering the filter and causing the email to be forwarded to IT. This resulted in a never-ending chain of forwarded messages and a congested server - aka, I accidentally created a mail bomb.
Needless to say, it was a pretty embarrassing and frustrating situation. I learned my lesson and will be more careful in the future when setting up filters.
Here is a sample of a subject line.
Subject: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Roll
TLDR: always double-check your work and make sure you fully understand the consequences of your actions.
Flossthief: I thought you meant you accidentally filled a 2 liter with draino and aluminum foil to make a mailbox bomb
Don't do this kids it's a genius way to turn your hands into spaghetti*and* in the us it isn't up to the mailbox user if they press charges; it's up to the government because it's their property
Mike-Ropini: If it's government property, why do I have to buy a new one when rednecks blast it with a shotgun on their booze cruise?
the_mr_burnz: As someone who grew up getting the mailbox destroyed repeatedly I’ll tell you. The box is not government property, only the mail inside.
Destroying a mailbox that’s empty isn’t even worth a visit from most county sheriff’s offices. If there was mail in it (and you can prove it), they MIGHT send a deputy out to file a report.
Bassman233: My friend's stepdad took this approach: Get a large rural type mailbox and a smaller one that fits inside. Fill the space between with concrete and allow to harden. Mount this box on a large truck suspension spring. Totaled 2 cars that hit it running off the road (2 separate instances) and didn't need to do anything beyond re-paint it.
Bacon_Generator: This hurts my once teenage baseball bat filled hands just reading it.
Beowulf33232: See a good trap-mailbox will shatter your hands and screw your wrists for life.
What you gotta do is chuck bricks out the window at mailboxes.
Then when they bounce back your way, the exterior of your dads truck protects you from the returning bricks....
Bacon_Generator: We escalated and burnt it down with thermite. 😬
| 8 | 215 | |
1673014931 | 1673056199 | t3_104ve5u | t5_2to41 | 25 | greaterwinds: TIFU trying to give a motivational speech to my gf
So I (m22) was talking with my gf (f21) and she was saying how life was getting to her in general, and she was probably overthinking things you know normal young adult stuff. So I being the absolute genius I am (dumbass) just started an unprovoked Ted talk on just moving up in the world and what not (this is where I f*** up) I just start rambling on barely paying attention to the words coming out my mouth and I go on and on about how I’m starting to get myself together and how I’m starting to find my way. (in a very quick reflection in hindsight I probably should’ve just said “your doing fine” but my mouth moved faster than my brain) so I try to recover bc the last thing someone who has no idea what to do/what’s next w their life wants to hear is how someone else (especially their partner) is figuring it out. So we talk for a while longer and eventually she asks me if I think she’s holding me back to which I of course explained to her why she’s not, and she’s still just finding her way and that we should help each other move up. Then she said that me saying that was some reassurance bc if she felt she was holding me back she’d probably just break up with me out of love and wanting me to do better for myself to which I which is the exact opposite of the message I was trying to convey. I was looking for more of a **if I can do it you can too** type speech but instead I gave off **this is how I got myself together you need to catch up or get left behind*** energy and now I feel bad.
TLDR: my gf was down bc of life and decided to help but instead I accidentally flexed on her by comparing her life to mine like an idiot.
Logical_Ad_1383: You gotta realize as a man that when your girlfriend is talking to you about something like this she's not looking for a solution motivational speech etc... she wants you to listen acknowledge that she's a human being struggling and that you have her back. That's it.
ElectroStaticSpeaker: It took me reading an entire book explaining women to finally understand this years ago.
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1673018018 | 1673025518 | t3_104wlut | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a double-dose of boner pills just before a breakup
[deleted]
ttystikk: As funny as this was to read, and I don't mean that to be insulting!- I want to point out that an erection lasting over 4 hours is grounds for medical attention.
EDIT: time
TheGoodSquirt: It's 4 hours....Let the man have those extra 2 hours
ttystikk: Ah, thanks for the correction.
TheGoodSquirt: Yeah, it's not from personal experience or anything...heh...heh....
ttystikk: Moderation in all things... Including moderation.
| 6 | 5.833333 | |
1674857019 | 1674879971 | t3_10mxhmo | t5_2to41 | 186 | norfolk82: TIFU Currently happening: I went to bathroom and didn’t look around first
This is my current situation. I am stuck in my bathroom. I had to go #2 really bad so i ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet to do my business. I have been watching TikTok’s and reading Reddit for a good 30 min as i usually do in what i consider my fortress of solitude. My legs started to go numb which is my usual sign that it’s time to get off the pot. I put my phone down and I reach for the toilet paper. This is where i notice my critical error… there is none. There is no one in my house and i have to be at the bus stop to pick up my kids in about 10 min. Now i have a few choices: waddle out of the bathroom and try not to make a mess on my journey to find toilet paper. Use my hand and just wash throughly after the fact or wait for my wife to come home which should be right before my kid gets off the bus.
It’s a choose your own adventure situation.
TLDR: i didn’t check the bathroom for toilet paper before i went #2
Update: luckily it was a dry poop so i just clenched and waddled to find paper to clean up with.
I posted this because it was relatable and funny.
Update 2: it’s a half bath. No shower
WHOISTIRED: Dog, you're home alone. What are you a child? Literally all you have to do is find some toilet paper, if you had none take a shower and scrub your ass real good, it's that simple.
This isn't TIFU it's Today I realize I'm actually stupid.
norfolk82: Good grief. It’s a funny story to tell in the moment. I was hoping some would get a laugh out of it. I assure you I’m able to figure it out.
WHOISTIRED: I mean, when you're over exaggerating the situation you're in it loses its funny value. If you weren't home and say at an airport or something of the like, then it would definitely be a TIFU and an actual moment where you DEFINITELY fucked up. This is a minor inconvenience that most of us have already been through.
MagicPenguin99: You must be fun at parties.
WHOISTIRED: Yea let me get drunk to not have an actual conversation and laugh at things that aren't funny.
| 6 | 31 | |
1673019829 | 1673046746 | t3_104xbvz | t5_2to41 | 223 | dark-suricat: TIFU by flashing a construction worker because of my dog
I’m a 23F, and I’m currently living at my parent’s place to finish my Masters degree. I have an undergraduate Masters in Interpreting and Translating, and decided to apply for a more specific degree in Audio-visual Translation, which is basically subtitling, dubbing, etc. Because my school is based in another country, all of my classes are online, which means that I stay home all day.
Now, for a bit of context; two years ago, when I turned 21, my family got me the best gift possible, and got me my very own dog. Because of an accident that has happened when my big brother was little, my parents had sworn off dogs completely, which is understandable. But as I grew older, I really wanted to have my own pet, and a dog seemed to be the best fit for me. I was planning on waiting to get financially independent to get one, but with a lot of pushing from my sister, my parents caved in and got me a puppy, trusting that I was responsible enough to take care of him on my own. And that’s how, in summer of 2020, I got my dog, Mushu. He is a black and brown Australian shepherd, and he’s an absolute sweetheart. He’s my baby, and I love him so much – he got me through some really tough times, and he’s like a big teddy bear.
But, as some of you probably already know, shepherd dogs tend to have a lot of energy, are very smart, and VERY STUBBORN. Mushu is no exception and, as much as I love him, he’s put me in uncomfortable situations many times – like the day I had to chase after him in the street in my ladybug onesie, or the time he peed on a stranger at the beach. The gist of it is, Mushu loves to run around and be outside, so we let him out in the garden quite often.
This morning, I was home alone - my parents being at work- finishing up some assignments in the living room when Mushu decided he wanted to get out. He’ll basically paw at the door, whine, and look at me with the biggest puppy dog eyes you’ve ever seen until I let him out. The living room has two glass doors that lead to outside, where we have a good view of the majority of the garden, so I could keep working on my computer and still keep an eye on him. He stayed there for a good hour, napping in the wind, and sniffing around the bushes as he usually does. Eventually, I finished my assignment, and got up from my chair to get some tea. I cleared the table, put my stuff away, and started brewing some tea, and then walked to the glass door to check up on Mushu. HE WAS GONE.
At first, I didn’t really panic, because, as I’ve said earlier, you can’t see the entire garden from the living room. So I got up, grabbed a squeaky toy, and went outside to call for my dog. Our house used to be a stable back in like, the 16th Century, so there’s a narrow path behind our house that goes down to a stream that delimitates our back yard. Mushu likes to drink there, so I thought that’s where I’d find him, but no luck. I kept calling him, thinking that he may have ventured a bit into the bushes or something, but I couldn’t find him. I had just taken my eyes away from him for less then ten minutes!
After seeing that he wasn’t coming back, I started worrying that maybe he’d escaped. Our garden is pretty well gated off, separated from the street by a 2-meter-tall stone wall, or about 7 feet. Our neighbours, however, don’t, and they’d been working on fixing their fence. My guess was that Mushu had gone up the stream to get access to their backyard, and then left through the gap in their fence. Obviously, I started freaking out, and set out to find my dog. I was still in my pajamas, with just a tank top and some shorts, so I ran up to my room to put change into something warmer since it was FREEZING outside. I marched to my closet and pulled out the first clothes that I found, before throwing my shirt off to put some sleaves on. One thing that I forgot to mention though, is that my room is situated at the front of the house, so it gives onto the street, which I didn’t really pay attention to in my panic. But I basically stripped and changed right in front of my window, while CONSTRUCTION WORK WAS BEING DONE ON THE BUILDING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET. And the worst thing about it is, after I finished putting my pants on, I stand up to find some dude just staring at me from his spot, squatting on the ground to repair some electronic door. I could see on his face that he’d just had a front row seat to me showing off my boobs, and he was completely frozen. We uncomfortably stared at each other for a few seconds before I ducked out of view, and rushed downstairs to go get my dog. I got the car running and grabbed a leash, and went to open the front gate manually. I took one look down the road and immediately found Mushu just trotting about, looking the happiest he’s even been. He starts making his way over casually, like he didn’t just give me a heart attack by pulling a Houdini on me. People tend to drive really fast in my street, since all the gardens are gated off, so I checked both sides to see if there weren’t any cars coming. And I turn around to find the same construction worker just standing there, alerted by the way I just screamed MUSHU in the middle of the street. He just stares at me awkwardly, and I’m so stressed I do the most horrible thing possible, and give him some sort of weird uncomfortable smile that lasts several seconds. I’m eventually saved by Mushu running back in the garden, close the gate and rush back inside. That little devil proceeded to just nap again for a few hours while I was dying of embarrassment in the living room.
TLDR; In my panic to get changed to chase after my dog, I started stripping right in front of the window and flashed a construction worker on the other side of the street, who then stared at me blankly through the window and when I opened the gate.
Dogghi: Was this WOT really needed?
Godzilla_Fan: WOT?
Dogghi: Wall of text
1000 words to say you flashed a guy, who cares tbh
Godzilla_Fan: Ah ok. You don’t need to be a dick about it but whatever
Dogghi: I just asked if a wot was really needed.
Looks like just a bait for upvotes tbh
dark-suricat: My bad! I actually misread the reddit guidelines and thought that TIFU post had to be at LEAST 750 words long instead of 750 CHARACTERS long. I quickly went through the guidelines again before posting and realised my mistake, but since everything was already written I thought I might just post it anyways. Oups!
Dogghi: Understandable then why you had to add the reason why you have a dog lmao
| 8 | 27.875 | |
1673006826 | 1673103101 | t3_104skma | t5_2to41 | 6 | frefornheoffreferff: TIFU by rushing to work
"Today I Fucked Up:
I was driving to work this morning and I was running a little late. I was rushing to get there on time and I ended up running a red light. As I was driving through the intersection, I heard a loud crash and felt a jolt. I turned around and saw that I had hit another car.
I immediately pulled over and got out to check on the other driver. They were shaken up but thankfully not seriously injured. We exchanged information and I called the police to report the accident.
When the police arrived, they gave me a ticket for running the red light and causing the accident. I feel terrible for what happened and I'm so grateful that no one was seriously hurt. I learned my lesson and I'll be more careful in the future.
TL;DR: I rushed to get to work on time and ended up running a red light and causing an accident."
Squigglepig52: Lesson learned, dude.
On the plus side, it was less bad than when I did something similar. didn't hit another car, luckily, but I did flip mine, end over end, 3 times.
the couple minutes you save by going fast isn't worth the risk.
Cynthia-Anne: I was t-boned back in October '22 by a man who ran the red light, and the speed limit was 50Mph. It caused my Honda CRV to flip and roll three times. Somehow, I managed to survive without any life-threatening injuries, but it has really mentally messed me up to the point where I have panic attacks just thinking about sitting in a car, avoid them at all costs, and when I have to get into one (for things like a doctor's appointment) I literally cry, flinch, grab the door, cover my face, etc. when any car comes near us because I don't trust anyone anymore at all. I have been in therapy since and have to take Zoloft to make it so I can even sit in a damn car. I hope one day I feel okay enough to feel safe enough to get back into the driver's seat. Honestly, even just typing out about what happened causes me a lot of anxiety.
So please OP, listen to this person, it isn't worth it to save a couple of minutes.
Squigglepig52: Glad you weren't hurt.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1673022508 | 1673024050 | t3_104ygj7 | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by rubbing acetone on my bus ticket
[deleted]
Hk-Neowizard: Maybe a life of crime isn't the right thing for you
krabby--patty-: I NEED HELP
Weisenkrone: Sorry buddy, this gonna be a death sentence.
| 4 | 8 | |
1674858934 | 1674860934 | t3_10my9xm | t5_2to41 | 11 | Ok_Lifeguard_6508: TIFU: Turned the BBQ into an Inferno
This happened last night. I was home alone and cooking myself a steak. I have a gas BBQ.
I turned the BBQ on brushed the grill with oil, putbthr bottle down and went inside to grab the steak. Came back outside to find that I'm an absent minded idiot because I had put the plastic oil bottle onto the grill. The bottle melted and drained oil directly into a burner. This made more flames and on it went. The BBQ sits on a wooden deck.
Fortunately, my BBQ has a lid. I dropped that, grabbed an extinguisher out of the kitchen, came back out and pulled open the gas bottle compartment. No burning oil in there. Turned off the gas and the fire self extinguished.
Lost a couple of arm hairs, but no harm done. Scary though.
Today I bought a stainless steel oil bottle for the BBQ.
TL;DR TIFU by leaving a plastic bottle of oil on the BBQ grill and it caught on fire
Adraestea: But what about the steak though, did you end up having it?
Ok_Lifeguard_6508: Yep. After I cleaned up I cooked it
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1673029112 | 1673030486 | t3_10519o7 | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: Tifu by lying about being a virgin
[removed]
PlsRfNZ: Should have stayed and said you were clearing the pipes for her turn.
You're 22, surely you can recharge and go again within 20 mins or so.
Would have been the perfect opportunity.
Flossthief: Sir
Do the "round 2s" stop happening when you get older? I'm 25
PlsRfNZ: Apparently, I'm 31 and still good after 5-45 mins.
Definitely more time than I needed at 22 though
Problem is my wife takes a week or so between hers, so that's a downer.
| 4 | 5.75 | |
1673029967 | 1673040617 | t3_1051moe | t5_2to41 | 9 | LikeLegitness: TIFU by going out to eat then going to the mall directly after
This actually happened 2 years ago around Christmas. I was visiting family out of state and went to a restaurant with my boyfriend at the time. I had never visited this restaurant before. I ordered some spaghetti and mozzarella sticks. This is food that isn't foreign to me. After we finished eating, we went to the mall to shop around. All my life I've eaten at restaurants and gone shopping and have been fine - until that day.
This particular mall we visited was extremely busy most likely due to the holidays. And of course I had never been to this mall before and thus did not know the layout. We went in and did some window shopping and by the time we reached the center of the mall, I started getting pangs in my stomach, telling me I had to poop and FAST. I let my boyfriend know I needed to find a bathroom asap and we hurried off to find one. Shop after shop, alcove after alcove and I could not find a damn bathroom. The pangs got worse and I had to occasionally stop to hold in this liquid shit that was about to burst out of me. I was sweating profusely, cursing, and on the verge of tears because I felt like I was about to lose this battle in the middle of a mall packed with people. He rushed off ahead as I caught my breath and FINALLY found a large retail store with a bathroom in it. I sprinted in and was forced to wait in a line of 3 people before I could finally let go. On my way out, I realized that all of the restrooms were located at the entrance of the mall. If we just went backwards, I could have gone a lot sooner but of course I didn't know this.
I feel like this happened yesterday and I've been out to eat a couple of times then gone shopping and almost 99% of the time, I start getting anxious and have to run off to a bathroom. It's probably psychological at this point, but I can't eat and go anywhere after anymore.
TL;DR. I went out to eat and went to the mall and almost shit myself.
KrankySilverFox: I don’t understand how this is a TIFU.
GlobalMonke: The experience has ruined them on eating at and/or before going to a mall.
| 3 | 3 | |
1673034423 | 1673045197 | t3_1053i9b | t5_2to41 | 162 | Wiring-is-evil: Tifu by experimenting with veggies..
[removed]
Th3Glutt0n: It sounds to me like all you did was remove a blockage, it's not a fuck up if no one finds out
Wiring-is-evil: I do agree that it didn't feel like quite as much of a fuck up bc no one found out but it did cause me to have to hide in the bathroom for many hours, skip school, remove and replace my toilet and freak out for quite a bit all because of my initial fuckup. Think I should remove it?
Th3Glutt0n: No, I was just joking lol. The real fuck up is not just wrapping it in TP and tossing it far out behind your house
Wiring-is-evil: We did all our yard work ourselves and I could definitely imagine my dad discovering it, unwrapping it and confronting me with it lol.
Also I thought the toilet flush would work and stopped thinking logically the moment I realized that I had fucked up.
Definitely was a FU though and you're right I should've done.. probably anything but try to flush it. Just glad it was stuck in a part of the pipe that I could retrieve bc if it had been further I would've been fucked. Probably would've just destroyed the toilet with a hammer and feigned having a mental health crisis at that point. Would've definitely preferred a week in a psych ward to the everlasting humiliation that would have happened. I'm older now and would still be shamed if they found out.
| 5 | 32.4 | |
1673036417 | 1673046923 | t3_1054cym | t5_2to41 | 5,420 | brotein_shake94: TIFU by laughing during sex
[removed]
lobo_locos: 
Redditwitter83: as a gay man....mac and cheese is ruined for me forever.
Long_Educational: Don't act like that bussy doesn't make some noise from time to time.
Redditwitter83: really, in front of my salad!?
Long_Educational: Tossed?
Redditwitter83: like a tornado.
| 7 | 774.285714 | |
1674860700 | 1674864984 | t3_10myzem | t5_2to41 | 160 | kebastian: TIFU by accidentally caling my female friend a pig
I (M35) have a college friend nicknamed "Pinky" (F34) (pretty common nickname where I'm from). We were pretty close during college but It's been a while since we talked. You know, work, family, kids, all those things happened.
Yesterday she texted me asking me how I'm doing. I replied with "What's up, Pinky" then she blocked me. I realized my text said "What's up, Oinky"
She did gain a bit of weight since college but she isn't obese or anything. I mean we all gained weight.
Her bestfriend messaged me calling me an asshole and how much her friend felt insecure about it. She told me Pinky was trying to lose weight and how insensitive I am. I tried to explain that it was a typo but she was not having it. She said something along the lines of "you must think you're pretty clever"
How do I apologize?
TL;DR I called my college friend a pig because of a typo and she and her friend hate me for it.
wildadragon: Go to her and say you're sorry and it was a typo, that's all you can do.
If she's not gonna let you live it down it's not your fault. >!elephants never forget I had to do it and i dont care!<
Fapple_: You did the right thing.
| 3 | 53.333333 | |
1673037103 | 1673074665 | t3_1054n7c | t5_2to41 | 12,473 | dumnem: TIFU by fucking a new friend's mom.
I wrote this for an askreddit thread but I figured it was TIFU worthy.
Disclaimer, this happened years ago.
So background, I was on and off homeless for years, from when I was 18 to about 24 or so. Went and joined the military, got an uncharacterized discharge, severe mental issues, needless to say, I had a rough few years, and due to problems I have, understanding social norms is hard. I quite literally had to *study* to learn what is or is not appropriate to do.
For years how I survived is I would entertain women (sometimes older) and live with them for a period of time, or just stay with them, usually for a weekend or so. They'd buy me groceries and that's how I got by.
So that's the context for this:
So for this chick I met her on either tinder or okcupid or craigslist, whatever I forget. I was about between 19-20 or so (I forget, it has been a long time) and I started chatting with her. I had a system for interacting with women; I would have them drive to me, pick me up, then bring me back to their place for sex. True story, really. I wasn't even a particularly good looking guy - I was a bit overweight but I was funny (to them, apparently) and I was a good talker. Or whatever. Idk dude, I'm a dude Idk why women like what they like.
This one was pretty much like normal, she didn't mind me hanging out at her place for a little bit. Cool, I don't have to sleep outside when it was getting pretty fucking cold. Anyway, we get to her place, do the deed a couple times, she falls asleep, wakes me up horny, etc, then she realizes that she got called into work to handle a couple things. She says that she'll be gone for 2-3 hours and that I can hang out for a bit then she'll drive me back 'home' (to the public library) when she got back if I wanted.
Cool, no problem, I make myself some food.
Well, **here's the problem.**
**Her son comes home.**
Dude apparently got dropped off by his father (they were divorced or some shit? idk I barely knew the woman) and he comes in home and he sees me (this kid has to be like, 15-16 years old, really only 4-6 years younger than me at MOST) and he was like, 'uh who are you? A neighbor?'
I basically said, "Yeah, I'm a neighbor and a friend of your mom. What's up?"
He basically acted like it was cool and asked if I wanted to play some Xbox. I accepted and watch him play some cod while he's yelling on mic some *legitimately* stereotypical cod shit. He told some dude who was being a smartass in lobby that he fucked his mom last night.
An hour or so passes and she comes home.
Then she kisses me in front of him, and the **look of utter betrayal** on his face.
It haunts me to this day.
If you're reading this my little homie, I'm sorry I fucked your mom.
**TLDR:** I used to be constantly homeless and had sex for a place to sleep. A woman brought me over to her place, did the deed, stayed at her place while she went to work for a couple hours, her kid comes home unexpectedly, and because I'm autistic and dumb af I make friends with him while he plays cod on xbox telling total strangers he fucked their mom while I legitimately fucked his mom. She came home, he found out and his look of betrayal haunts me to this day.
Edit:
For all of the nastygrams, not really necessary. For all of the PMs asking advice, my most successful platform was craigslist, but I was successful for all of the wrong reasons. For those saying it's fake, I've attached proof below (after this spiel.)
When I was homeless I did a lot of things I ultimately regret. Bodycount on guys isn't something that is normally found upon, but even so to me I think it did a lot of damage that even today I struggle to unpack. I guess a key difference between me and random guys most women hooked up with was that I never really asked or said it was a one time thing - and I meant it. For some reason in my mind I thought the next person was always 'the one' or potentially dating. It burned me many, many, many times. And no matter who good you think you are at talking to people, in the end for dudes online it's a numbers game. I had plenty of women contact me for a craigslist ad, see a picture, and dip - and that's fine.
I hope that one day our social systems are in a place where no one, male or female, has to do what I did in order to survive. To this day I wish it could have been different. But, in the end what I went through meant that I found my now fiance, and we are very happy with one another. So it all worked out in the end, I guess.
Proofs as they are available:
I couldn't find one for this particular incident. I think it was tinder or OKC. I deleted both ages ago, but I have what's below:
https://i.imgur.com/IM0DMoW.png
https://i.imgur.com/WiZhhKG.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/qNCxGjy.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/vzvmMyx.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/XNc4EPk.jpg
(These two are definitely not safe for work)
https://i.imgur.com/jNcRpAD.png
My main draw is that I wrote erotica. One of these comments was left on the story:
https://i.imgur.com/DIMJfzC.png
AcrobaticSource3: You didn’t fuck a new friend’s mom. You played Xbox with a hot old lady’s kid
ironboy32: I think you misspelled MILF
imdefinitelywong: Stacy's mom
Hughjass790: Has got it going on
Noob_Man_26: She's all I want
LazarYeetMeta: And I’ve waited so long
Hughjass790: Stacy can’t you see you’re just not the girl for mee
LazarYeetMeta: I know it might be wrong but I’m in love with Stacy’s mom!
ballrus_walsack: Whoa whoa … love‽ … moving a bit fast. Pump the brakes.
| 10 | 1,247.3 | |
1674860669 | 1674920689 | t3_10myz0h | t5_2to41 | 6 | TBMNGaming: TIFU By walking past 10PM.
Not today, but a month ago.
My mother is one of those overprotective mom that you just love so much but get frustrated by them a lot. Basically, if she hears a sound, she will come charging in asking if im aright. i mean, shed probably get mad if i went to the toilet... Anyways, when I was little I had a history of deception. I thought i was being clever, mind you, but in actual fact, i was just making it worse for myself. "I dont trust you as far as I can throw you" is her favourite catchphrase. But basically, I have completely changed, yet she never seems to notice! She always is convinced I'm lying, even when im not. But enough context. I have a PS4 and a raspberry pi in my room (im a nerd emoji irl), and one day, me walking was apparently me moving from my bed to play Fortnite, or something. No matter how much i tried to convince her, nothing was enough, and BOOM. Grounded. There was no way out of this, even tho i could prove id been offline! Its fair enough, knowing my past (i can explain if you want me to), but i try so hard now and nothing seems to get through. I dont know what to do anymore. I have to convince her that i can be trusted
TL;DR: TIFU by being a deceptive child and paying the price, 5 years later.
Not a very interesting story compared to some on here, but I hope some of you with overbearing mothers can relate, even in part. Thanks for reading!
Thick_Information_33: Oh boy, your future girlfriend will have a lot of fun
AcrobaticSource3: Nice of you to assume a girlfriend is in OP’s future! I’m not unconvinced that mom will lock him up until he’s 40
TBMNGaming: I can't really disagree...
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1673044590 | 1673109524 | t3_1057tqe | t5_2to41 | 495 | [deleted]: Tifu by lying about being a virgin
[removed]
Moosebuckets: Duuuude. Shit happens lmao.
I believe in honesty though and I would be upset if someone lied about anything.
ProTip though: women are so used to men talking mad shit about their sexual prowess then being disappointed so it’s best to not do that
MelodicClass7027: Very true. Guys who talk shit about how awesome they are are usually the ones that last 2 minutes.
fireky2: 2 minutes, we have a bragger over here
MelodicClass7027: Nope, female and dealt with guys that talk up their game and left me wondering, "Why did I say yes a minute ago?"
Sexjest: Madame, I wish to propose to offer you…
The best 30 seconds of ~~my~~ your life
MelodicClass7027: Broken up into 3 segments. Get ready for me to rock yo...oops
Sexjest: Socks are overrated anyway, right?
^(who am I kidding, a good pair of socks are fantastic)
MelodicClass7027: Especially when they make your toes curl and feel so great that even if your calf is cramping it doesn't matter because of how good your foot feels
Sexjest: That settles it. Put your pants back on. We’re going sock shopping.
MelodicClass7027: No tube socks or ones in packages, k? I want the good ones!
Sexjest: Of course. I’m no heathen 😂
| 12 | 41.25 | |
1673045258 | 1673050845 | t3_10583uk | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by possibly accidently grooming a girl?
[deleted]
tantedbutthole: Even being friends with someone that young is odd. I would stop talking with her
Cyrodiil: Yeah, that’s a sophomore in high school hanging out and having suggestive talk with a senior. I remember that happened at my high school, and man did the rumors fly. OP needs to cut contact with her.
TheRealPequod: Wow, yeah, that's completely unheard of and ridiculous. What's the age gap between your parents btw?
Redbeard4006: The gap gets smaller with age though. There's a sizeable gap between 15 and 18, but much less between say 20 and 23.
TheRealPequod: I think y'all have swung too far in the right direction trying to be anti-pedophilia. Three years is not a huge gap. At really any age. Romeo and Juliet laws exist because it's not uncommon or weird for teenagers to fall in love. I had a 16yo girlfriend when I was 17. Did it all the sudden become problematic when I turned 18 and she was still 16? Was it less problematic when she was 17? Did the problem all the sudden disappear when I was 19/20 and she turned 18?
Redbeard4006: I agree it's not necessarily a problematic gap. It's a grey area. There is a huge difference in emotional maturity between a 15yo and an 18yo and that gap narrows with every year that passes.
TheRealPequod: I was more emotionally mature at 10 than people I've met at 30. That's quite the generalization to make.
Redbeard4006: Individuals vary, but I still think it's mostly true that there's a big gap between your "average" 15yo and 18yo, and that 3 year gap shrinks rapidly with age. Maybe huge was too strong a word. That being said, some of the stuff I have read in these comments is way over the top.
| 9 | 3 | |
1673048992 | 1673100276 | t3_1059n89 | t5_2to41 | 13 | CDTED: TIFU by breaking my moms wall over green gas
A little backstory. I have a airsoft gun. I went and bought it for 130. My mom asked me if I spent all my money, me lying I said “no I didn’t , I still have 10 dollars” little did I know that would’ve turned me to much more money. I asked her about getting me green gas (thing to make your airsoft gun shoot) she said no and I kept begging. Until last night when she said she was going to get me tommarow.
Me and my mom was in the house and I asked her to get me green gas. She asked me about the 10 dollars and I came clean. She started saying that I lied to her and yeah. I went into my room and got so mad I kicked the wall and now there’s a hole in it. Instead of 16 dollars it’s a few 100 dollars. I am just depressed and how I did this. I feel like I am the reason why my mom struggles a lot. Idk what to do to be honest.
TL:DR I broke a wall over my mom not getting me green gas
Barkypupper: Return the gun, use the money to fix the wall. Apologize to your mum and get help for your anger issues.
GeneralDimension3900: This is the only way to maturely approach the situation. Anything else, you just seeking attention here and at home and it will get worse from here.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1673049359 | 1673130885 | t3_1059seu | t5_2to41 | 38 | HughJ0: TIFU by driving over the neighbours dog
I got up for work, got ready, got in my truck, drove out of the driveway, down the road and BOOM! NIGHTMARE!
I froze in shock, realised I should jump out and try to resucitate/save the this dog's life [If I can].
Got out, the little fella was just stood there like nothing had happened! I gave him a quick look over, no scratches, no bumps, no bleeding.
Picked him up, carried him to my neighbours (his owners), told them what happened. Told them I'm taking him to the vet to check for internal bleeding, concussion, any damage at all, I'm paying for it. He was scanned for everything, checked for anything. And nothing, he's fine! It's a miracle. I was not going slow at all. Usually he just chases the car, he darted out in front of me today which I was not expecting and I heard the bang, it was loud! I thought there was gonna be a doggy funeral for real!
I guess miracles DO happen!
TI REALLY FU!
TL;DR I hit the neighbours dog with my truck at speed, took him to the vet, paid all the vet bills, the dog is absolutely perfect! How? I do not know! Missed work, didn't tell the boss I was gonna miss work, gotta explain that I ran over a dog. Almost became the most hated person in the neighbourhood [Public enemy number 1!] Little Cheeto gets to live to see another day. Unless I hit him again tomorrow. Ahhhhhh hope not🤞🤞🤞. Sorry Cheeto!
JejuneEsculenta: While it sounds like a little more care is in order with the driving (though, realistically, that can be said for 99.9% of drivers in the US, and it sounds like you tend to be contentious), your handling of the aftermath was exemplary.
Thank you for doing the right thing, and not being one of those that needs to be hunted down and strapped to the bumper of someone's truck.
HughJ0: Thank you! The aftermath could have been catastrophic. Imagine if I pretended nothing happen and Cheeto had some sort of internal bleeding and had a slow, painful death. I wouldnt be able to live with myself tbh
Neenknits: Imagine if it had been a **child**
HughJ0: 😓
| 5 | 7.6 | |
1673047887 | 1673062259 | t3_105978c | t5_2to41 | 180 | rainsmith: TIFU by poisoning myself with mold
In November I started having sinus issues from the dry air in my apartment. I got a humidifier, read all the instructions, and started using it every night. The results were great - no more itchy skin and dry throat from sleeping in a bone dry room.
Then came the fuck up. I left to visit my family for a couple of weeks, and just left my humidifier full of water and off.
While I was there I was around cats constantly (I'm allergic) and missed my humidified and pet-free home dearly. When I got back home, my allergies didn't seem to be getting any better. I washed all my sheets, vacuumed, mopped, and aired out the room with a fan even though it's freezing outside. I made extra sure to use my humidifier, too. This week I got an awful migraine, which I haven't had since I was a teenager. My throat was scratchy and I was fatigued and gross feeling all the time, like my cat allergies but worse. I tried hydrating better which helped a little bit. Then on a whim I thought about getting some new sponges for my humidifier since the one I installed was a few months old at this point (they're supposed to last a few months). When I took off the case to see which type I was supposed to buy, I was greeted by the most horrifying combination of grey, black, and green molds growing on it. I felt sick and immediately threw away the sponge and cleaned the whole thing down with dilute bleach. The very thing that was supposed to help my sinuses had been fucked up by leaving it wet for two weeks, and became a mold spore dispersing machine right next to my bed.
TL;DR I left a humidifier for two weeks then started using it and gave myself a migraine, sore throat, and fatigue from a week of inhaling mold spores
spazzyone: I poisoned myself with coffee in a somewhat similar way recently (I checked if the coffee part of the machine was empty but didn't notice the mold). Mold allergies suck
SpaceTimeBurrito: I poisoned myself in a similar, but disgusting and completely avoidable way. I didn't clean out my espresso maker and left it closed up with old grounds for a few days, I then dumped out the old grounds and made new coffee without cleaning anything. I let that sit for about a day and a half and started drinking it that night and started feeling sicker and sicker. I would drink more to try and give me energy but I kept feeling worst until I realized that I was just disgusting and needed to start cleaning my shit. Took the next day off and just slept, then scoured that bitch with vinegar.
| 3 | 60 | |
1673049438 | 1673080596 | t3_1059tk5 | t5_2to41 | 37 | Rashional3: TIFU by jumping on the NYC subway tracks
Ok, this story really captures my neurotic obsessive personality.
I was already late to meet up with some friends, having taken the downtown train instead of the uptown train and had to transfer when I got off. I also already missed my initial train, as the doors closed in my face. So my anxiety was already peaking.
As I ran down the subway stairs to catch the F train that was just pulling up to the station, I reached into my pocket to grab my phone, when - my AirPod case popped out of my pocket, bounced off the steps of the stairs and doinked right onto the tracks below where the incoming train was arriving.
A guy turns to me: “were those your airpods?”
“Yup,” I responded, nearly out of breath from all the hustling.
And it was in that moment I made my fatefully stupid decision - I would NOT get on the F train that just arrived at the station, sacrificing another 8 minutes, making me that much more late to meet my friend, so that I could jump onto the tracks and retrieve my case (which I knew would cost about $80-100 to replace).
The train left and I looked up at the train schedule screen: 3 minutes until the M train arrives (which shares the track with my F train).
The same dude says, “Are you gonna jump on the tracks to get your airpods?”
“I think I have to at this point,” I reply.
“Well, you’ve got 3 minutes. Good luck.”
Without thinking for another second, I jump down onto the tracks, snag my case, and leap back up. I didn’t even bother to worry about the gnarly rat on the tracks next to my case, as I knew I had something much bigger to worry about (the incoming train).
All in all, it must’ve been about 5 to 8 seconds. But it felt like an eternity. Everyone on the platform watched on. I bounced back up to safety and exhaled deeply.
As I got on the F train a few minutes later, it began to dawn on me: It wasn’t just the train I should’ve worried about, but the 3rd rail, which delivers enough voltage of electricity to instantly kill someone. I’d risked my life for a measly $80 AirPod case. Man, do I feel dumb.
TLDR; I jumped onto the subway tracks to retrieve my AirPod case. Although successful, an extremely bone-headed move that could have killed me.
ExtremePast: The third rail is on the far side of the tracks by the wall, so I'm assuming you didn't even get close to it.
Also, touching the third rail wouldn't necessarily electrocute you because you need to complete a circuit for electricity to flow. If you're touching the third rail while one foot is on a running rail, you're done for...but if you're standing on a concrete rail bed, you'd likely be OK.
t3jem3: Couldn't he still be electrocuted due to grounding? That's why you can be killed by power lines, the electricity will flow into the ground, it doesn't have to go back into the same circuit I thought.
Flashy_Researcher_59: “Complete a circuit” - that’s what it means to touch ground. They were noting that the non-conductive concrete might have been enough insulation between OP and ground to spare him electrocution had he touched the rail… emphasis on ‘might’…I would not want to test that hypothesis
| 4 | 9.25 | |
1674862520 | 1674880653 | t3_10mzqbs | t5_2to41 | 175 | Junior-Ranger6861: Tifu by buying my grandma a pizza.
My gran remembers tasting pizza only once in her life and she did not particularly like it so she never tried it again. She sees it as one of those things that are for the younger generation. She prefers food that she is used to eating.
Since it's her birthday week, I took a few days off work to spend some time with her and my little brother and to also plan a small tea party for her and her friends. I wasn't able to visit during Christmas time due to work so I want to spoil her.
Yesterday, I was getting a few items for the tea party this Sunday and I decided to buy her a pizza for dinner just to surprise her and see how she would react. She wasn't really sure about it and kept asking why they would put pineapples on it but she tried it anyway just to humour me.
I pretended not to notice how she looked like she was enjoying it while she was eating. I asked her what she thought and she said that it was okay. She looked like she enjoyed it better than that but I thought oh well maybe it's not really her thing.
In the middle of the night, I was woken up by some noise coming from the kitchen so I went to investigate. Imagine my surprise when I caught my gran snacking on the leftover pizza with a cup of tea.
We both laughed and she admitted that she really liked the taste. We stayed up for a bit chatting like old times. She knocked on my room early in the morning the next day to tell me that she was wondering if it was okay to make the sandwiches for her tea party using the 'pizza bread' instead of normal bread to impress her friends.
I of course agreed and pretended that it was an actual thing because my gran never asks for anything, I would give her the world if I could but my brother and I have absolutely no idea how we will make sandwiches made out of pizza.
TL:DR Tifu by buying my grandma a pizza and now she feels like her life is just beginning.
ihaveaquesttoattend: A pizza is a sandwich
Just fold two pieces together and boom
TuckerCarlsonsOhface: TIL a calzone is a sandwich
ihaveaquesttoattend: Idk i feel like a sandwich should have at least two pieces of bread
Edit: i forgot about open face sandwiches
Everything is a sandwich
BoringCrow3742: not everything is a sandwich.
some things are smoothies.
Brandanpk: Smoothies are just cold fruit soups
BoringCrow3742: and soup is not a sandwich.
Brandanpk: Only because soup is a sandwich filling. When you add bread, it becomes a sandwich
| 8 | 21.875 | |
1673050498 | 1673068144 | t3_105a96n | t5_2to41 | 644 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping through a job interview
[deleted]
ChainmailleAddict: "Sleep debt" is a concept you need to erase from your vocabulary. Trust me, you end up being way less tired if you just go to bed at approximately the same time every night regardless of how much work there is to be done.
blondeblonde12345: Have you heard of insomnia? And sleep debt is very real, there are many articles about it that you could read, but I’m glad to hear you don’t have problems with sleep !
ChainmailleAddict: I mean, I did, but switching to an all-natural bed not made out of FORMALDEHYDE and going to bed at the same time every night made all the difference.
blondeblonde12345: Then you haven’t experienced insomnia because it has nothing to do with the bed your sleeping on, or when you go to sleep. You don’t have any idea either regarding which bed he has? For all we know his bed could definitely be all-natural? And also, this article was about him, not you or your experiences
ChainmailleAddict: First off, insomnia is a lack of sleep, is it not? I promise sleeping on formaldehyde made it hard to sleep every night and there's a good shot that's making it harder for him too. The cause may be environmental, or psychological, but fact is that I suffered it for a long time until I figured out what had to happen to stop it.
Secondly, I literally explicitly added the qualifier "IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE ALREADY" because I didn't assume he didn't have an all-natural bed. It's a fair assumption though since most people don't know about them. Feel free to annoyingly-gatekeep insomnia, though.
itrarelyis: Insomnia means you can't sleep, it's not a lack of sleep. Though, when you have insomnia, it is recommended that you try to go to sleep at the same time every night and have a standard routine.
| 7 | 92 | |
1673053213 | 1673197147 | t3_105bbao | t5_2to41 | 670 | whatchettb: TIFU by bringing a putter on a cruise ship.
I'm a 34 year old that travels on cruises with my family once a year.
We always go on Royal Caribbean Oasis Class ships, which have a mini-golf/putt-putt course on their sports deck.
The courses open at 9 a.m. and 'close' around dinner time.
(... which really just means that an attendant brings out/takes in the rubber putters and plastic balls out around those times. The actual area is wide open & well-lit 24/7)
Dozens of yelling children are on the courses while they are open.
...And, I'm not a fan of crowds and I tend to be up early in the mornings.
So, about 5 cruises/years ago... I started packing my own putter and golf balls. I bring a collapsible kit (pictured below) that fits in my luggage & that you can buy wherever cheap holiday gifts are sold.
Example: https://www.ebay.com/itm/225239870064?chn=ps&norover=1&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-117182-37290-0&mkcid=2&mkscid=101&itemid=225239870064&targetid=1262779894209&device=m&mktype=&googleloc=1021187&poi=&campaignid=14859008593&mkgroupid=130497710760&rlsatarget=pla-1262779894209&abcId=9300678&merchantid=114724524&gclid=CjwKCAiAqt-dBhBcEiwATw-ggGsC_uXfo6O5QC5KOCoGIRSFIfGg3NP0YAhZf1_x1folH2d51LHAuhoCyaQQAvD_BwE
Anyhoo... while my wife sleeps in, I go putt for a while after wrecking the breakfast buffet that opens at 7 a.m.
It's my time. Don't judge me.
...
So, this past summer... We're making our way through the cruise-port in Bayonne, NJ on our way to our vacation.
My wife makes it through the security line with her carry-on bag. No problem.
I go through behind her (I have an annoying habit of setting off metal detectors) and no alarms/bells go off.
As I'm exhaling from that process, the security employee x-raying our bags asks me to step back through the the magnetometer. He has me step back through twice. Still no alarms.
The whole time, he's asking me about 'what I forgot' and talks about where we parked our car.
I told him we flew in that day & took an Uber to the port.
He eventually tells me 'this will be way better if you remember now'.
Nothing made sense to me. I'm panicking inside.
Eventually the actual police were called over.
Absolutely everything was rushing though my mind.
Had I slept OK?... did I have my ADHD meds in the right bottle?
Is that a felony? How did that show up on his screen? Etc.
... When the cop gets to the scene, the port's employee asked me one last time 'if I wanted to make things easy?' & at that point I got a little testy saying "I have no fucking clue what you're talking about".
The port employee then pulls my zipped up putter-kit out of my carry-on bag & told the cop "here's his gun".
TL;DR It turns out: a putter head looks damn near identical to a pistol on an x-ray machine.
I wish I could say we laughed the situation out... but, it took me another 20 minutes to process what had happened.
.... I left the putter on the ship, to avoid the same situation with TSA coming home.
rynburns: This is the same security administration that likes to swab my camera lenses for explosives (I've seen the image on the screen, very clearly camera lenses) and last time opened my camera bag to REVEAL IN BROAD DAYLIGHT the knife I had in there on accident. TSA person swabs my lenses, of course they come back negative, and then places my camera down ON TOP OF THE KNIFE WHICH COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE VISIBLE AT THIS POINT and says to have a nice day. They fail like 75% of the internal audit testing they've admitted to doing. A classroom full of preschoolers could do a better job at keeping a plane safe
VballHerk: This wasn't TSA, it was the security for the cruise ship.
AlignedMonkey: Op was not specific as to the employer of the agent however TSA covers boarding security for all major forms of transportation including ships and trains so not a huge leap to assume it was.
AgrestPL: Wait, you guys really have security screening before entering a train? How does that even work?
AlignedMonkey: Where do you live where your train stations have zero security?
AgrestPL: That’s how trains work in literally all of Europe.
I can just walk into a train station, hop on a random train that has just rolled into the station and off we go (I have a 3-month ticket for all public transport in my city and suburbs so totally legal, too).
And if it’s a long distance train the only extra step is buying the ticket. Here’s where the only „security” part comes in, as if you bought the ticket online you have to have an ID with you. It’s not required when buying at the register.
I’m very interested in how this all security related stuff works in USA. I took a train once in Canada from Montréal to Toronto and it was a bit weird due to the plane-like boarding with checking the tickets before entering the platform etc but hearing about security being present before boarding long-distance trains in USA is wild to me. Where do you even find the space to do so?
AlignedMonkey: Outside major cities that's more or less how it is in the US too for subways, busses, and trains. Don't get me wrong I think it's egregious in a lot of cases and at best it's just a false sense of security as evidenced by the super trooper OP had to deal with.
It's not like going through a huge xray checkpoint at an airport, just a lot of armed officers who I suspect have itchy trigger fingers and blown out egos.
AgrestPL: Wow, that’s so much different. The only officers present around train stations in my country are very rarely policemen (only in major cities though and there’s at most 2-5 of them on the whole station) and sometimes SOK (Railway Guard Service) officers, but they also come by very rarely.
There are exceptions of course like when the war in Ukraine started and trains with humanitarian aid were going in one direction, and trains with injured citizens and refugees in the other. Every main station was just flooded by firefighters, police officers, paramedics and volunteers, sometimes soldiers too.
But the thought that train travel could look on a daily basis more similar to that special occasions than to what I’m used to as everyday stuff is still wild to me. Thanks for the insight!
AlignedMonkey: Np, ya it's not really a joke when people say the US is a police state.
| 10 | 67 | |
1673053690 | 1673107800 | t3_105bhqk | t5_2to41 | 50 | Own-Cow775: TIFU by eating a little too many sugar free mints
Was shopping as you do and I really like mints I eat them a lot and they're overall my favourite thing. As I am shopping I find these sugar free mints marked down in price, I'm watching my sugar intake so these are perfect. I get 2 packs and I'm munching them as I walk home. Once I'm home I've ate the 2 packs oops.
Thought it was ok, what's the worse that can happen?? About half an hour after as I'm sat down to have my dinner my stomach is doing flips, making all sorts of weird sounds. I feel my ass basically explode randomly. I sped to the toilet to prevent an unfortunate accident and I barley make it. It's like how the great dam explodes in San Andreas or like how elephant toothpaste explodes. I'm on the toilet absolutely fighting for my life. It wouldn't stop it just kept coming. I thought it would never end. I couldn't sit normally for ages it was that bad.
Totally forgot the fact artificial sugar was essentially a laxative. Fuck smints
TL;DR sugar free mints fucked up my insides
OkVolume1: At least your breath smells good.
bluecollarNH: Butt breath? Not so much.
Setthegodofchaos: At least the butthole is minty fresh now
| 4 | 12.5 | |
1673056471 | 1673095957 | t3_105cj1r | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: Tifu by lashing out at my partner
[deleted]
reddishrobin: "she says all the other ways hurt"
So you don't care if she is in pain just so you can get your rocks off? You need to explore and find out more about this pain and maybe encourage her to see her doctor and offer to go with her.
atlas_mornings: Seriously, what?? I have endometriosis and some positions literally do hurt. His reaction would have me breaking up on the spot. Why doesn't he care that his partner is in pain?? Why would she 'try' these positions if she knows it hurts?? Why is he mad that she won't literally cause herself pain so he can get off? What the fuck??
CrikeyMateAus: I always cared about her pain, i am not an animal. I never said go through the pain.
It just seems weird that any other positions hurt except this one.
Doctor was suggested ofc
kyss24: Actually, your words and actions just said you don’t care about her pain, only your pleasure. No wonder she is crying. As a woman with migraines and endo, these silent pains that others can’t see are brutal. And lots of people don’t even believe you have them. And you spend lots of time pretending that you are not in pain to get through. I would suspect she has endometriosis, or that you are longer and banging into her cervix. Which hurts like hell.
CrikeyMateAus: I think you’re judging but i’m being honest here.. we never did anything if she said it hurts. We would stop IMMEDIATELY!! The frustration comes from doing the same shit for a long time. Seriously now, all of you who are quickly trying to dismiss me, wouldn’t you be a little frustrated about it?
kyss24: You stopped then, but keep pressuring her to try again. Even though she already said it hurts.
| 7 | 6.428571 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.