start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1413109661 | 1413123135 | t3_2j0ngy | t5_2to41 | 33 | RedsVitaminCcocaine: TIFU by Getting Exactly What I Wanted
Sexual TIFUs fall into four categories: fake, hackneyed, attention seeking, or my personal favorite, all of the above.
I'll do my best to avoid becoming another statistic.
Two years ago, I was partying my ass off at college. My boys were solid, my fuck buddy... | 6 | 5.5 | |
1413109328 | 1413129883 | t3_2j0n89 | t5_2to41 | 18 | theincrediblemexican: TIFU: Choosing my addiction over a great relationship
Just want to start off by saying that this post has no humor in it but if you are in situation (past situation now) then I hope my story can give you a push to change
This story starts off freshman year of highschool, although it was young lo... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1413121967 | 1413151129 | t3_2j0yep | t5_2to41 | 651 | [deleted]: TIFU by failing to lose my virginity
So not today, the FU happened 25 years ago but I only realised it very recently. It hit me like a freight train when I did...
I was 16, seeing a girl and we'd fooled around a bit already. We arranged for me to sleep over and it was clear that tonight's the night. Her '... | 7 | 93 | |
1413121853 | 1413123061 | t3_2j0y9p | t5_2to41 | 4 | staticbleak: TIFU by doing what I have always done.
I was doing a simple oil change on a 2013 MKS. First car of the day, the lift is set up, I go to open the hood. Normal shit. Then I take toil cap off and put it on the hinge where the hood release is, like I always do. That's when it went down hill.
The oil cap mange... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1413124253 | 1413125502 | t3_2j11bh | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with my cousin.
A couple of things to start:
He is my (half?) first cousin
It was the second time I'd met him, the first time was 5-6 years ago and we didn't really talk.
We were both very very drunk.
I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post this, but I'm feeling very disgu... | 4 | 1 | |
1413118701 | 1413140201 | t3_2j0uzg | t5_2to41 | 51 | [deleted]: TIFU by dropping a suitcase full of cash and silver on a busy street.
Let me start by explaining what I do as a hobby. I am a coin collector and silver hoarder. Seeing the vast amount of metal dealers in the region, I decided to buy what I could for the cheapest prices possible as silver took a dip in price.... | 12 | 4.25 | |
1413126645 | 1413128743 | t3_2j14hk | t5_2to41 | 28 | wanabeswordsman: TIFU by trying to be kinda clever speaking to my wife.
My wife is taking some medicine to deal with her diabetes, and one of the side effects she's experiencing is moodiness.
She's heading over to her grandparents' house. It's cold and kinda rainy outside. I stepped outside in a t-shirt, immediately g... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1413129837 | 1413131342 | t3_2j194u | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU By getting drunk with a stranger and trusting them to sit in my car while going into the gas station.
Ok, so it all started last night with me just sitting in my car in the parking lot (not driving) just listening to music on my phone and having some crown royal and some coka-cola just minding my own bu... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1413132186 | 1413134387 | t3_2j1cse | t5_2to41 | 65 | willkillforwaffles: TIFU by pissing in my mouth
Back story: I have been training my dog all summer to go potty on command when i take him outside. This way, in the winter i wont have to stand outside freezing my ass off waiting for him to go. Soon as he goes potty, i give him a treat and we go back inside.
On this sp... | 4 | 16.25 | |
1413134109 | 1413140670 | t3_2j1fvd | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by ruining a loved ones life.
Ok this did not happen today, it occurred around 3 years ago when I turned 16. This isn't a fuck up story where there's humour and feces flying around. No, this is the story about how I scarred myself into never getting my drivers license.
I had just recently got my lea... | 4 | 7 | |
1413132312 | 1413155534 | t3_2j1d0e | t5_2to41 | 3 | Frankenstein_the_Ass: TIFU by taking a joke too far
Apologies in advance for the wall of text. I'm on mobile.
So, yesterday I matched with a cute girl on Tinder. We started chatting, and I brought my A-game charm. This morning, I convinced her to give me her phone number. We start flirting and semi-planning a date, a... | 3 | 1 | |
1413134541 | 1413161312 | t3_2j1gjm | t5_2to41 | 79 | Wow_She_Flew: TIFU by tossing my best friend's girlfriend
Context: Me and my best friend's girlfriend have been getting closer recently. Mostly due to playing various games togheter, but her hanging out with us more helped too. Lets call my best friend John and his girlfriend Alex.
Me and John have been friends for ove... | 5 | 15.8 | |
1413135963 | 1413150282 | t3_2j1is0 | t5_2to41 | 1,228 | Monsterclaws: TIFU by stabbing my boyfriend in the penis
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
I put my boyfriend through a fairly painful experience all because I like having claws for nails. I hate cutting them too short because I'm not used to the feeling of the pads of my fingers against any kind of surface especi... | 8 | 153.5 | |
1413137065 | 1413145161 | t3_2j1kja | t5_2to41 | 18 | TheReal8bitsloth: TIFU by shitting everywhere in a restaurant
EDIT: Sorry mods, I'm new to this SubReddit and didn't realize it wasn't Saturday. Please feel free to remove if necessary
EDIT2: thanks mods for not removing due to talking about shit, and thanks for all the positive feedback, you guys really helped me fe... | 7 | 2.571429 | |
1413137835 | 1413151301 | t3_2j1lt1 | t5_2to41 | 148 | SilverarcTheJoker: TIFU by resting at a rest stop
So I've been a lurker on Reddit for a while, but recently made an account and joined the addiction. This didn't happen today, but about a year ago. As a little back story, I travel a lot for work by driving and flying, and I have seen and experienced a lot of odd things... | 4 | 37 | |
1413136850 | 1413153069 | t3_2j1k8h | t5_2to41 | 6,125 | zeeyaa: TIFU by not knowing what "bust a nut" means
sirdoombox: I find Starbucks (At least here in the UK) to be an incredibly dull and lifeless place. I'm pretty sure having the manager drop his drawers and start going at it would, at the very least, liven the experience up a little bit.
buttmysteriously: This is so ... | 14 | 437.5 | |
1413139521 | 1413140607 | t3_2j1olb | t5_2to41 | 5 | GamerLegend007: TIFU by allowing my Fiancee to wax my asshole!
Hey everyone, newbie redditor here. I'd thought I'd start off with my own TIFU story.
So one night, I offered to wax my Fiancee's legs. I didn't really do a good enough job so I gave her the above proposition as a sort of punishment to myself for doing a s... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1413139389 | 1413148676 | t3_2j1ocs | t5_2to41 | 11 | EvilBrennan: TIFU by calling my friend a Phedo
This happened years ago.
I'll change my buddy's name to Chuck to protect him. Don't worry Dan, your secret is safe with me.
So, my buddy has a under-age girlfriend. He's 18 and I don't remember how old she was. Either 14, or 16. It was weird.
Obviously, cue the phedophi... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1413141519 | 1413146467 | t3_2j1rw1 | t5_2to41 | 37 | Hanu_: TIFU Hot chick wanted me to message her
Sitting with her among friends behind a large table. The two of us were chatting the whole evening, a small flirt here and there. After the event, she about to leave... then she says if I wanna come and see the hobby she does some day. -I said no! (i have no idea why) -ohh... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1413141378 | 1413159139 | t3_2j1roc | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU By trying to return a backpack to its owner
So this actually happened eight days ago.
I was headed home from a nine hour security gig with my uniform shirt safely tucked away in my purse.
I was waiting at a bus loop for mine when another bus arrived to pick up passengers at the loop I was at. People s... | 13 | 2 | |
1413142076 | 1413154831 | t3_2j1sry | t5_2to41 | 7 | OhioJunglist2: TIFU by making spaghetti and getting head
Like so many TIFUs, this one was about ten years ago and involves sex.
I had invited a woman to come and spend the night at my apartment and have some fun. I imagined sex would be involved but it was really just an excuse to hang out with a friend and have a go... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1413143879 | 1413316118 | t3_2j1vrm | t5_2to41 | 253 | MaskedandReady: TIFU by putting my hand where I shouldn't (NSFW)
So my wife is currently typing this for me as I am missing part of my finger. It turns out you shouldn't put your hand down on a table saw while it's running...
For those who wish to see my severed tip, here you go:
http://i.imgur.com/aWMezex.jpg
So a pre... | 12 | 21.083333 | |
1413144952 | 1413153011 | t3_2j1xi0 | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU meeting my girlfriends friends
I met a girl by drunkenly talking about cats and she must have thought I was cute because she soberly gave me her number.
Anyway fast forward to two weeks later she decides it's time for me to meet some of her friends. Out getting drunk. Normally I am a giggling happy dr... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1413147337 | 1413154525 | t3_2j21iw | t5_2to41 | 26 | nek_minnit123: tifu by not knowing what 'beastiality'means
It was back when I was 14. We were at swimming training, and after we finished the main set, we split into teams and did relays. We won the first 3 relays, and our team was hyped. I said: "We have some beastiality going through our team!"
People stared shocked... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1413147924 | 1413205365 | t3_2j22hn | t5_2to41 | 221 | [deleted]: TIFU by not knowing what "jack off" means
Before I get into the story, hear me out: I come from a German background, and have lived in Germany for much of my life. Because of this, I do not get many English phrases as the one in this story. I have only been in England for a few years, so I'm much sorry if my... | 7 | 31.571429 | |
1413147543 | 1413152393 | t3_2j21w9 | t5_2to41 | -1 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my brand spanking new phone
Today I fucked up big time. I wanted to sell my car since it was in a really bad condition, and there's this market in my town where they buy any car even if it's in crap condition because they ship them off abroad. I went there looking for a good deal and it seems ... | 5 | -0.2 | |
1413148062 | 1413167836 | t3_2j22qf | t5_2to41 | 73 | ObiWanKobe: TIFU by not knowing the difference between North and South Korea.
As is usual, this didn't happen today. It happened at least 10 years ago, when I was in elementary school. One night my mom was watching the news and there was a segment talking about how North Korea had been testing bombs, or something along... | 4 | 18.25 | |
1413149130 | 1413177480 | t3_2j24lf | t5_2to41 | 176 | hi_Im_a_throwaway_ac: TIFU by joking with two teens telling them not to die.
So this happened a few years ago, at the time I was really into skydiving and would drive a few hours each weekend to the dropzone to go jump. The guys and girls that jumped were generally lots of fun and there was a fair amount of black humou... | 3 | 58.666667 | |
1413144083 | 1413185426 | t3_2j1w41 | t5_2to41 | 10 | mrdingoman: TIFU by drinking vodka which was given by a Russian
So, to begin the story here's some info, I'm only 15, male, have drank before a few times but holy shit does this take the cup. So there I was, 2 days ago, on a nice Friday night, it was around 8pm when I went out with a few friends of mine. So we go up to... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1413145923 | 1413182239 | t3_2j1z4z | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by not knowing how to google
Up until today, I did not realize that whatever pinned tabs you had in your browser the last time you were searching will open whenever you reopened said browser. Damn you, Google.
My parents need to borrow my laptop to open my computer. 'Hey, cool, just let me close this s... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1413150917 | 1413154390 | t3_2j27mi | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by using the flashlight through window.
So I took my iphone and used the flashlight and flicked it off and on several times pointing outside my window, now I see the neighbour standing up and taking his phone and binocular and looks outside his window, he sees me and I know he is calling the police so I... | 5 | 0.6 | |
1413150984 | 1413152832 | t3_2j27qr | t5_2to41 | 4 | Beagle_Gal: tifu while my husband was watching the Packers game
Tifu by not being a good football wife. Six seconds left in the game and he leans over to hold my hand for the final seconds. I give him the side eye and say really so he lets go of me hand. I don't think we will be watching football together anytime so... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1413152136 | 1413184677 | t3_2j29ma | t5_2to41 | 13 | SJWILL97: TIFU By accidently being racist.
So this happened today. I work at supermarket here in England. Earlier today I was at work, stacking some shelves when a women approached me. She wanted to know if there was anymore canned pumpkin out back I oblige to this request and go to look. I come back with a whole case ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1413152992 | 1413247301 | t3_2j2axd | t5_2to41 | 136 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally making a friend have a staring contest with my dildo.
Yes, one of those, but I feel worthy of sharing. Happened a few days ago. Might be kinda long, first time posting. Here goes! (Edit: I'm a dude, sorry guys, don't mean to get your hopes up or anything.)
So, me and my coworker's husba... | 11 | 12.363636 | |
1413152121 | 1413156655 | t3_2j29ld | t5_2to41 | 27 | ChatGarou: TIFU by putting a cashier's note about the customer on a custom tee shirt.
Context- I'm a designer for a large screen printing company in Texas. One of the many jobs on my plate is to design custom tee shirt orders using cut vinyl or printed transfers.
The cashier up front takes orders from the customers by... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1413153924 | 1413158233 | t3_2j2cfg | t5_2to41 | 85 | SonicsDontDoWood: TIFU by sexting my best friend [NSFW]
[This wasn't me, but a story my friend told me earlier. I'm writing it down as he explained (from first person for easier understanding), with his permission.]
After years of having a terrible old phone without even a proper camera, I was really excited to get my... | 3 | 28.333333 | |
1413154249 | 1413172468 | t3_2j2cy0 | t5_2to41 | 10 | EzzoMahfouz: TIFU by a toilet cum explosion
You're gonna love this.
TIFU by... well let's go back a bit.
I've been doing the cum box thing where everytime I masturbate, I cum in the box and store it. I came in tissues and put the tissues in the box to avoid the inevitable liquid mess. Over 430 tissues in my little ine... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1413154405 | 1413157623 | t3_2j2d7g | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a reddit comment in /r/talesfromtechsupport that may have offended some people
uraffululz: What exactly were the consequences? This is the internet, dude...
BlackPurity: Well the post was downvoted into oblivion. That is a consequence. I just never seem to find any group that I fit in with a... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1413154995 | 1413342694 | t3_2j2e44 | t5_2to41 | 18 | Johnnius_Maximus: TIFU by being a big guy.
This is from around 15 years ago as I have only just registered after a long time of lurking.... this is also my first post so I hope this is TIFU compliant.
So, I was around 16 when myself and a few friends including my brother went to a theme park and I was really looking f... | 6 | 3 | |
1413156255 | 1413277476 | t3_2j2g3l | t5_2to41 | 111 | OnlyCatholicOnReddit: TIFU by not fapping in 3 days
Fuck throwaway accounts, I'm a man.
And sorry for typos, I'm on mobile.
So this happened about 15 minutes ago but our story begins about 3 days ago while on a family camping trip.
My family and I were camping in the woods far from civilization and as a hormonal tee... | 6 | 18.5 | |
1413156279 | 1413162579 | t3_2j2g56 | t5_2to41 | 14 | mmmAuntJemima: TIFU by having my mom on snapchat
This happened last night. So I'm visiting my friends and family in my hometown for the weekend as a little break from school. Really didn't have anything planned for the night so we just decided to hit up some bars at the beach and get hammered. Wanting to save money, we... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1413157479 | 1413234046 | t3_2j2i21 | t5_2to41 | 435 | placenta_jerky: TIFU by using my roommate's scissors to trim my pubes.
I'm sitting here in a godforsaken terminal of O'Hare airport, wondering if my roommate is still alive and trying to guess how hard it will be to change my identity. I should be celebrating the fact that in 5 hours I will be comfortably in the arms o... | 8 | 54.375 | |
1413158702 | 1413181095 | t3_2j2jxy | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by submitting the wrong video to my animation class and then being absent the day they showed it.
So this happened on Thursday. Today is Sunday and my next class in this class is on Tuesday. I do not want to go to class and don't know what to do.
So I am taking a 2D animation class and our assignment ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1413158821 | 1413160487 | t3_2j2k4y | t5_2to41 | 9 | stangl3r: TIFU by oversharing.
I have, well had, been dating this amazing girl. We were a few dates in, and she made me meet a bunch of her friends. Totally nailed it! Next she wants to meet some of mine. My cloest friends and I are drinking buddies and can handle alcohol well, but seeing as it's a special night I'm do... | 3 | 3 | |
1413160600 | 1413181199 | t3_2j2mug | t5_2to41 | 12 | agailen: TIFU by doing exactly what my boyfriend told me not to do
backstory: shitty phone finally gave up its life, boyfriend (27 yo) gave me (18yo) his old phone to use until I can afford a new one. He hadn't deleted any of the old stuff of it...
He basically told me not to go through his old texts, and well, I didn'... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1413152862 | 1413183342 | t3_2j2apw | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by mixing up my sleeping pills and TRIPPING BALLS
So I take sleeping pills for insomnia. The first ones my Dr gave me weren't doing the trick so he gave me a more powerful one.
So last night I decide its time to sleep. I pop my anti depressants (which I found out this morning I'd mistaken them and take... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1413161182 | 1413234738 | t3_2j2nr5 | t5_2to41 | 674 | FIGVNW: TIFU by trying to give money to a panhandler
Last night, I went to a drug store. I paid for stuff and it came to $9.03. I gave the cashier a $10 bill and then went fishing my pockets for a few pennies, a nickel, anything. But came up dry, and before I could pull out a card, she'd already handed me 97 cents in ... | 7 | 96.285714 | |
1413161059 | 1413189581 | t3_2j2njw | t5_2to41 | 6 | selberdrehen: TIFU by wanting to clean my toilet ... While peeing
So this just happened to me. It might have been the fact that I was a bit tired or that I wasn't completely sober.
While waiting for a friend to call me on Skype I realised that I needed to pee urgently, so I hurried to the toilet, lifted the seat and g... | 3 | 2 | |
1413160927 | 1413241424 | t3_2j2ncv | t5_2to41 | 11 | ajlueb: TIFU by losing a bet and gaining a tramp stamp.
Not today, a few years ago, but I discovered this sub today. Here we go!
First a little background information, though. Before getting into the line of work I am in now, I was an actor. I did some professional work in high school, mostly musical theater, and my ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1413163107 | 1413164102 | t3_2j2qjz | t5_2to41 | 6 | dantheman757: TIFU by eating the assistant manager's Pizza Hut.
McGorilla: I thought this was a pun for her vagine'.
dantheman757: That thought just hit me
| 3 | 2 | |
1413162351 | 1413176378 | t3_2j2pfp | t5_2to41 | 56 | [deleted]: TIFU By fulfilling a sexy woman's sexual fantasy. [NSFW]
Meowing_Cows: Hi Bigringcycling, thank you for submitting to /r/tifu.
Unfortunately your submission *TIFU By fulfilling a sexy woman's sexual fantasy. [NSFW]* has been removed because it violates RULE 10: "All posts centered around defecation will be... | 3 | 18.666667 | |
1413161722 | 1413291542 | t3_2j2oku | t5_2to41 | 46 | MikeAndJimmy: TIFU by not reading a letter in its entirety before showing up to a job exam.
I applied for a senior accountant job with a respected city employer. I would say that I am not quite qualified to be a senior accountant but I will never turn down a chance to test and potentially interview for a high-paying jo... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1413164356 | 1413167151 | t3_2j2sd0 | t5_2to41 | 2 | AE3K: TIFU trying a new shaving method [slightly NSFW]
Sublimekidd420: Next time try shaving cream and a razor. Scissors will help too.
AE3K: Ain't nobody got time for that. Plus,
> previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1413162201 | 1413171786 | t3_2j2p8h | t5_2to41 | 36 | cinben14: TIFU by making a joke about teen pregnancy
Today I saw my friend "Dave" going into work and I remembered it was his birthday. When I followed him inside to wish him a happy 20th birthday I found that he was with our other friend "Matt". Dave and Matt have the same birthday! how convenient I thought. I wished ... | 3 | 12 | |
1413165617 | 1413167545 | t3_2j2u6e | t5_2to41 | 9 | ohdearlordthrowaway: TIFU by not knowing my door had opened
So.. this just happened.. I've spent all day binge watching a show in my room. Then, a few minutes ago I decide I might switch to a little porn and you know, have a little me time. Well, a few minutes after finishing up, I close out of the incognito tab and de... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1413161811 | 1413450343 | t3_2j2opo | t5_2to41 | 14 | Tehwhitelion: TIFU by leaving a $1 tip on my dinner date.
Like most TIFU this didn't happen today. It was about 2 years ago when I had dinner plans with a very special person in my life. I wanted to go to a nice place and an acquaintance of mine had just relocated his restaurant. I loved eating at this place before the... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1413161420 | 1413169409 | t3_2j2o42 | t5_2to41 | 10 | mootbeat: TIFU by taking a taxi to work.
No crazy sex story, nonetheless, it did happen, and I did fuck up.
So I woke up late, usually take the bus, then trains to work.
didn't have time for that since I missed my bus, and I checked my trip planner and realised if I caught the next bus I would get to work late by te... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1413169295 | 1413171086 | t3_2j2zsj | t5_2to41 | -6 | videogamer19999: TIFU by unintentionally wearing a Kool-Aid Shirt to my black friend's family gathering.
Today I woke up and got ready to go to my friend's family gathering, so I showered and put on clothes. I got some food and then I was ready to go and left. When I was in the car I noticed how accidentally racist I w... | 5 | -1.2 | |
1413169873 | 1413172603 | t3_2j30my | t5_2to41 | 16 | AboveAverageUser001: TIFU by yelling "How do you not know who John Lennon is?" in a university lecture
This happened last semester but thought it would be funny to share.
Get to my psychology class and sit down in front row like I always do. Professor likes to play a song at the start of each class that relates to the... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1413170077 | 1413175473 | t3_2j30xc | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU I'm sitting here sobbing to myself right now
I worked six long 10 hour days this week and thought I'd treat myself to a juicy Filet Mignon and some homemade mash potatoes. I had the Filet seared and sat, juices just flowing like a god damn angel crying tears of blood. Pull the potatoes fresh out of the ... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1413169847 | 1413186889 | t3_2j30lm | t5_2to41 | 13 | skadann: TIFU by leaving my hoodie on a chair. My fiancée's grandmother sat naked on it.
Today, we found out my fiancée's grandmother has cancer, and immediately visited her in the hospital. I left my hoodie on a chair, and didn't pay any attention when the grandmother sat down. We're all laughing and joking about her ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1413170408 | 1413190223 | t3_2j31dr | t5_2to41 | 54 | Deathwish64: TIFU by telling a mate to not drop the soap...
This happened around 20 mins ago,
So me and 2 friends went to maccas for lunch, and one of them went for a shit while I are lunch. I finished lunch and needed a piss while he was still in the toilets (2 urinals and 1 cubical) I go in and grunt and make weird ... | 6 | 9 | |
1413167491 | 1413245654 | t3_2j2x0v | t5_2to41 | 5 | steveh_2o: tifu by being addicted to nose spray
I carry a bottle in my pocket. Today I had gorilla brand superglue in my pocket also. I just snorted superglue.
Edit: picture http://imgur.com/QdYxonu
[deleted]: What happened afterwards? I hope your nose is fine.
steveh_2o: Still feels a bit odd. Not sure how far up i... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1413171317 | 1413173112 | t3_2j32so | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU: It was only a few letters off but boy did it matter!
This was 6 years ago when I was first starting my Culinary Arts program, I was a fresh faced and eager student to say the least. They have every new class start off with a 7 course, fine dining meal to see if we could guess what the items were and ge... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1413171506 | 1413241391 | t3_2j331v | t5_2to41 | 32 | OCEAN_PISS: TIFU by pissing on the Pacific Ocean
This is too embarrassing to post on my main account, but I guess it could have happened to anyone. Let this be a cautionary tale.
Today I was standing in a sea cave, overlooking the vast and mighty Pacific. It was a typical pirate-treasure-ish cave, set into the side ... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1413169928 | 1413176460 | t3_2j30po | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by roleplaying
Last weekend, my husband and I attended a massive event (400+ attendees) that was mostly people at his company. The event took place in the building where he works.
We got separated about halfway through the night, and then he returns and starts playfully hitting on me and asking if I’m... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1413174602 | 1413175579 | t3_2j37gv | t5_2to41 | 5 | Skedog: TIFU by sneezing
This, unlike most TIFUs, happened just now. I was laying in bed, reading TIFU, when I felt like I had to sneeze. I have a metal filing cabinet right beside my bed. I leaned over the side of my bed to sneeze, and smacked my head right into the corner of the filing cabinet. Photo of the [cabinet/... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1413174444 | 1413350887 | t3_2j379q | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by naming one of my contacts "weed dealer brandon"
I'm in college. Parents came over today with my sisters to say what's up and check up on me and what not. They pick me up, we eat at Bakers Square, have a good 'ole jolly family time, and we go back to the car. I decide I wanna drive the car, so I pair ... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1413174893 | 1413273675 | t3_2j37ty | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU. Now I'm sitting here sobbing to myself.
I worked six long 10 hour days this week and thought I'd treat myself to a juicy Filet Mignon served with some homemade mash potatoes. I had the Filet seared and sat, juices just flowing like a god damn angel crying tears of blood. I pull the potatoes fresh out o... | 7 | 9.428571 | |
1413174793 | 1413270871 | t3_2j37p9 | t5_2to41 | 11 | PM_ME_UR_SOB_STORY: TIFU by letting a girl know my username
Made a new account just to have a fresh start, but here goes.
College had just started up. A few weeks into my first semester, my apartment of guys got paired with a girls apartment to "build relationships" or something like that. Most of the girls in there a... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1413176309 | 1413177034 | t3_2j39lp | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking five muscle relaxers.
Alright, so this didn't actually happen today, but I've been meaning to submit this for a few days now.
This all started out one night after I got back from a friend's house. Initially, I had taken three of my muscle relaxers because it had been a really hard day ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1413178030 | 1413223241 | t3_2j3bom | t5_2to41 | 17 | JustHere4TheKarma: TIFU by accidentally giving my french teacher one of my dvds with porn on it.
So my french teacher gave us an assignment to burn a dvd of a french broadcast show. I burned my dvd and put it on my spindle with my other discs. Later that night I pull out my stash of porn that isn't labeled and have a q... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1413179021 | 1413186483 | t3_2j3ctb | t5_2to41 | 6 | GregoryGoose: TIFU by using a crappy bike lock
Went to a company event in Golden Gate park, I wasn't too excited about it but my store needed representation so I went, and I figured that to justify it to myself I could maybe bike around the park and visit the museums. So I did that, locking my bike right outside the fr... | 3 | 2 | |
1413175219 | 1413228365 | t3_2j389b | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU By using a public restroom.
I'm the kind of person that would much rather hold *it* until I get home and I can use my own restroom than using a public one.
Today, much to my disdain, was one of those days were no matter how hard I tried to clench and avoid the imminent task I had at hand, I had no other... | 4 | 3 | |
1413178206 | 1413230249 | t3_2j3bvu | t5_2to41 | 126 | lead_spatula: TIFU by telling a school principal I was horny.
So this happened several years ago...
It was my first week at site as a new Peace Corps volunteer in Burkina Faso (W. Africa). I was assigned to a primary school of several hundred students. As the school was providing me work and housing, I wanted to expre... | 5 | 25.2 | |
1413178438 | 1413237108 | t3_2j3c5u | t5_2to41 | 7 | Skutter_: TIFU by seriously pissing off someone on their new relationship
So the notification came up on my facebook feed this morning. We'll call the person Ben. Ben is known for a past history of badly ended relationships. He's previously stolen my friend's girlfriend, then cheated on her at a party. He's also had st... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1413178256 | 1413217022 | t3_2j3byc | t5_2to41 | 33 | PowerPackHero: TIFU by checking someones bag at a supermarket.
So, i work in a busy supermarket on checkout and it's a very busy day. Theres a seedy looking guy hanging around the checkouts looking nervously at the checkouts, operators and supervisors. He was wearing a black backpack so i kept an eye on him.
He goes t... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1413180591 | 1413223950 | t3_2j3eml | t5_2to41 | 1,717 | Who_Hasnt_Done_That: TIFU by masturbating at work
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
This happened to me today. I work by myself in the office at a restaurant that shall remain unnamed. Everyday is eye gouging-ly boring, but today I thought I'd spice things up by playing tug of war with the cyclops. Pretty non-ris... | 13 | 132.076923 | |
1413173547 | 1413215937 | t3_2j361e | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by "accidentally" finding homemade porn on my roommate's Mac
I mention Mac because I'm a PC user...it'll make sense I promise.
I was on my roommate's Mac with him in the room. I was printing my research paper for class, and he walked outside to go smoke. So naturally I started messing with stuff. Found... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1413182340 | 1413217577 | t3_2j3gg3 | t5_2to41 | 29 | throwaway456499: TIFU by walking in on my sister masterbating
Do i get bonus points for this just happening?
So i guess ill start off by saying that i am staying with my parents for thanksgiving weekend in Canada. My night started normally I ate, drank and had a nice time with my family, it was around 11 pm when i got... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1413183384 | 1413184682 | t3_2j3hgt | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by turning in the wrong homework that was shown to the class.
So this happened on Thursday. Today is Sunday and my next class in this class is on Tuesday. I do not want to go to class and don't know what to do.
So I am taking a 2D animation class and our assignment was to make a minute long intro to a ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1413183514 | 1413192047 | t3_2j3hkp | t5_2to41 | 7 | Redecous: TIFU by syncing pornography on iCloud
So you know the default function on my iPhone 5 is that it'll save incoming photos onto my camera roll and when I have a wireless network available it syncs these photos onto iCloud. So today I was just showing my photos on iPhoto around and this girl was browsing through... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1413183294 | 1413203300 | t3_2j3hdv | t5_2to41 | 15 | TheDerpyLemons: TIFU by reading the wrong name in a group chat
This did not happen to me, but it happened to one of my coworkers, lets call him Jim.
Jim and another coworker, lets call him Connor, were added to a group chat with another coworker, Katy. Katy asked them if one of them could come into work earlier to hel... | 3 | 5 | |
1413186943 | 1413290053 | t3_2j3kqo | t5_2to41 | 987 | rkel14: TIFU ejaculated on a stranger.
As the weather is starting to get colder I tend to use lotion to prevent dry skin. I spend most of my time at work, (sandwich shop) so i decided to get a bottle for my house and another for work. While at Costco I saw a 2pck of Jergens super moisturizing, the bottles were extremel... | 6 | 164.5 | |
1413189447 | 1413189958 | t3_2j3mro | t5_2to41 | 6 | SuperFreakonomics: TIFU by leaving my cellphone in the shower
The last phone I owned was an Xperia Z Recently, I upgraded to a new phone but still retained the waterproof goodness that is Xperia Z.
Having no other use for it, I decided to upload some porn on it for the occasional use in the shower. On Friday morning, ... | 3 | 2 | |
1413189642 | 1413206746 | t3_2j3myk | t5_2to41 | 13 | wievid: TIFU by trying to soften the butter in the microwave...
So my fridge gets butter really cold. Like, almost frozen. Despite any attempts to turn the temperature down, everything else warms up too much but the butter stays rock hard. I forgot to take it out this morning before breakfast and let it warm up a bit a... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1413188580 | 1413193162 | t3_2j3m23 | t5_2to41 | 32 | NonRock: TIFU by missing my exam registration terms
I'm in my second year of engineering and have two exams left from the first year. Both are being held this Friday.
I was revising one of the two subjects when I remembered that I should confirm my registration in the school's system before Wednesday when it locks dow... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1413190389 | 1413263642 | t3_2j3nle | t5_2to41 | 8 | cristic84: TIFU by having a nude image on my phone on the bus
Today I was waiting my bus and stumbling on tumblr, getting ready to add some "to-post ideas" for my blog.
The bus arrived, I was in one hand with my umbrella and my phone (screen on), in the other with my bus-pass.
After getting in the **almost-full** bus... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1413198207 | 1413220311 | t3_2j3u36 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Well_THATS_not_me: TIFU by beatin' the meat at work on the toilet
So, i work at a big company in the IT-department.
Around a week ago, i was pretty bored and decided to smack the snake. so i went on the toilet and checked that i was alone, and i was free to go.
After i was done, i went back to my office and continued t... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1413198680 | 1413210876 | t3_2j3ui7 | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by cuming on my service rifle (NSFW)
This happened while I was out in a training event, I am military. "Excuse my spelling and grammar".
I was out on a month long live fire training event and if you were wondering no we don't shower so don't ask. It was about a week in when we got are first brake hot c... | 10 | 1.5 | |
1413198674 | 1413223748 | t3_2j3ui0 | t5_2to41 | 78 | Seruati: TIFU by accidentally making and drinking a spiderweb milkshake.
So yesterday there was an enormous spider, of the chubby and hairy variety, in my kitchen. Big enough that you could count its eyes individually.
Like the brave soul I am, I took a pint glass from the cupboard and removed the beast. I put it down... | 5 | 15.6 | |
1413201363 | 1413228429 | t3_2j3x0l | t5_2to41 | 723 | Imanidiotthrowawy: Tifu by sticking a light saber in my anus.
So I'm an idiot. I should know this by now since my best friend used to yell it at me... But apparently I still don't have it figured out.
So as a 21 year old virgin I tend to masturbate a bit. And for some reason I can't fathom, today at 3 am my brain deci... | 8 | 90.375 | |
1413217507 | 1413246919 | t3_2j3umk | t5_2to41 | 13 | 13steinj: nah, just that its a 25 percent chance. the other 75 percent is getting your anal virginity taken. And that HAS happened to me when i fell asleep on a train
IAmA_singularity: Storytime!
13steinj: ...fine. Ok, I live in new york. I was taking the r train when I fell asleep. You know what I woke up to? A DICK S... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1413204122 | 1413213379 | t3_2j4019 | t5_2to41 | 146 | DoubleBBossman: Tifu by not closing r/Gonewild
This just happened. Im on the bus, about to be at school, I opened up my reddit app, and right there is full screen vagina and dildo. I think this girl behind me saw. I don't know though. What do I do in this situation? Nothing?
Edit: just got to school, still freakin ou... | 5 | 29.2 | |
1413206389 | 1413221149 | t3_2j42uk | t5_2to41 | 207 | savvystrider: TIFU by drunkenly confessing my feelings to my crush in front of our friends
I've had a huge crush on this chick since I met her earlier this year. I asked her out, she declined and said she just wanted to be friends. I said okay, even though I wasn't okay with it. Hanging out with her has been agonizing ... | 12 | 17.25 | |
1413205245 | 1413208330 | t3_2j41cc | t5_2to41 | 10 | souwant2bcliche: TIFU by dropping the soap in a really small bathroom.
A few years ago, I was visiting my parents house and was cleaning the bathroom, which happens to be rather small. I was putting away a new box of soap and dropped it. Not thinking, I bent over to pick it up, stood up too fast in too small of a space... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1413207277 | 1413284961 | t3_2j441y | t5_2to41 | 338 | rwnefah: TIFU by roleplaying
Last weekend, my husband and I attended a massive event (400+ attendees) that was mostly people at his company. The event took place in the building where he works.
We got separated about halfway through the night, and then he returns and starts playfully hitting on me and asking if I’m ma... | 9 | 37.555556 | |
1413208621 | 1413209930 | t3_2j45xu | t5_2to41 | 43 | weasleman0267: TIFU: Attempting Pool Sex
Not today, but you all know the drill.
My, then girlfriend and now wife, and I used to sneak away to her parents' pool a few nights a week to fool around late at night. I always have pockets in my swim trunks, but this new pair she bought me didn't. "No problem" my 22 year old... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1413208248 | 1413216617 | t3_2j45fq | t5_2to41 | 34 | Haratkins: TIFU by making the French authorities mistake my bag for a bomb
Okay, this happened a week ago. But it's still settling in for me.
I was on a trip to Paris and one particular sight I knew I had to visit was the Louvre. Seeing the Mona Lisa was on my bucket list. So, I see it. I was underwhelmed. What happen... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1413207383 | 1413226677 | t3_2j446v | t5_2to41 | 237 | MyDogEatsShit: TIFU by ignoring my dog's plea for attention for a second
So this happened about 30 minutes ago.
So I have the best dog in the world. A black labrador who's getting on a bit in age, but just as spritely and fun as when we picked her up as a pup. Recently, she's taken to trying out new things; we had to ... | 4 | 59.25 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.