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bodom2245: Tifu by getting a handjob Oh man this sucks. So I get home from work and got a load of groceries, the girlfriend wanted to make fajitas tonight. So she chopped up some jalapeños and onions to go in the chicken and we had a pretty nice dinner. After dinner I grabbed a shower and told my girlfriend to meet ...
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[deleted]: TIFU by moving in the with the girl of my dreams even though I'm friendzoned. I fucked it all up. Like, really well, and fucked. I moved in with this girl I've known since the 8th grade. She turned me down way back then, we went out in high school, then again in college, then again in our mid20s. Now at 30, ...
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26.285714
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[deleted]: TIFU by not taking my diarrhea pills before school Long time lurker first time poster, to paint the picture that is my f up, im currently a junior in highschool and i have had explosive diarrhea since last thursday (5 days ago) after eating some taco bell for dinner. This morning before school im supposed to...
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TIFUNotSleeping: TIFU by being depressed and not going to sleep (Double Fuckup!) This happened a week ago and it is currently branded into my brain. So I'm a 3rd year college student and I came home for Thanksgiving (Canadian). A bunch of my friends also came home and so we had a little reunion party. It was a small pa...
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lovemesomedeadpool: TIFU by ramming my poo covered penis on my sister in law Well this is my first reddit submission so be gentle Let me start off by saying I am not a perv. Last night my girlfriend decided she would finally let me try anal with her so I grabbed some lube and we went for it Well I came in her and af...
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cameinsleepingbag: TIFU by cumming in a sleeping bag ~6 years ago Throwaway, so don't expect any timely responses. So this shit begins back when I was around eleven or twelve. When my family used to go visit my extended family, we would bring sleeping bags to sleep in. The thinking behind this is that if we slept in s...
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LoudHeartBeat: TIFU by having a strong pulse My pulse rocks my entire body including the surfaces I'm sitting/lying on. This in turn rocks the floor below my feet thus causing the neighbors below to hear a rapid beating noise that speeds up and slows down at irregular intervals. My neighbor holds parties to have people...
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[deleted]: TIFU by hugging a friend. Reddit... This isn't really a fuck up of myself, but a friend.... And she wanted me to put this on here but from my perspective. So I put it here.... So think of it like a TUFU To start off, I will offer some backstory. I am in my High School marching band (Pride of Metuche...
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-2
[deleted]: TIFU by not taking a shit for two months NSFW Alrighty, you read the title, prepare to hear my ugliest and most painful experience in my life at the doctor's office you sick fucks. Rules said nothing about defecation unless it's a saturday, and luckily it's a saturday. When I was little I always felt extrem...
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fgdncso: TIFU by eating my own shit So today I really had to shit and all the bathrooms in my house were occupied. I found a half empty pizza box in the fridge and layed down a steamy log inside of it. I put it in the fridge and went to bed. The next morning my roommate had taken the box of pizza shit out of the fridge...
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Dr_Drank: TIFU: Why isn't there actually a WEEKLY Fuck Up of the Week? Quick_man: We're busy right now with trying to better the sub with a couple ideas, The Fuck up of the week will be back shortly. but we need to focus on getting these changes in place first Dr_Drank: Okay, I was just upset that the Fuck Up of the W...
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TheCaptainCog: TIFU by masturbating in a car with my parents So, yea. Title pretty much says it all. You can all go home now. Nah, I wouldn't do that to you. Ok, so I'm going to preface this with some back story first. I was young, and had just seen cheerleaders live. I hadn't touched a woman before, and got really h...
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throwingaway311: TIFU by cumming on my pillow. I was having sex with my girlfriend and I pull out to cum as an experiment and I shoot my load straight pass my girlfriends' face and it lands on my pillow making it hard to clean up and hide. [deleted]: Wash your pillow case, at least you're not a girl learning about squi...
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MilkshakeBringsAnts: TIFU by throwing my "tissue" away in the trash So unlike most TIFU's, this one is actually from today. Some background: I currently go to university and live on campus, but it's basically in my city's backyard so each weekend I come home. Let me just say that, although my school has a reputation f...
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ornitholoqy101: TIFU by plugging in my guitar equipment incorrectly. I was at my friend's house to jam, so I was setting up all my gear. For those who are unacquainted with guitar terminology, there are things called pedals that affect tone. I have a pedal for distortion, and a pedal called a "wah" that makes a "wah" n...
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vookee: TIFU - Got yelled at by a new Bride... Where do I begin? TIFU, I work at a banquette hall as a waiter and while I was taking away a half eaten bowl of soup from a guest's table I tipped the bowl a little and the soup spilled all over my hand and on the cuff of my dress shirt. I needed to get to washroom and ...
3
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24
[deleted]: TIFU by killing my car battery jerking off in the woods with my sound system. I was at a friends house and we smoked some quality ganj and were looking at porn. This is not out of the ordinary for us and we were just showing each other some good videos. After a while I told him I was going to jerkoff and id ...
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TroaAxaltion: TIFU by Calling the Cops All names changed yada yada. Enjoy! **Today me and my friends were off to a wedding. Two of our good friends were finally tying the knot! So around noon we hurried out to Luke's car and away we go!** It was Luke driving, Kyle riding shotgun, me and my girlfriend Barbra in the ba...
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insecuritiesgalore: TIFU by entering my parents' room. NSFW. So this actually happened yesterday night. Took me a while to calm down and even attempt to write this. So, recently my father started to watch foreign dramas on the laptop, which I find adorable. Yesterday, I went into his room to find him laying in bed...
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adidasbdd: TIFU by playing with my razor sharp samurai sword. Let the record show that I have zero real life martial arts experience and yet have always considered myself a ninja. This morning I awoke with a message from my brother in law regarding a rooster that he intended to dispatch post haste. I elected to assist ...
3
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Jackere24: TIFU by trying to use the force Okay so today i was out with some friends and we went to the cinema, we ended up parking rather high up on a multi-story car park and we decided to race, my friends would take the stairs and i would take the lift. so i get in the lift and turn around to face the doors, thinkin...
4
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[deleted]: TIFU by being celibate. (Throwaway) Reddit, I'm a sexually active person. I have been since I was 15. The longest I've gone without action is 8 weeks. I guess you could say I am more on the promiscuous side. Well after some growing up and a serious break up, I'm more than six months sex free. Th...
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Tharekon: TIFU be being excited about the LoL Worlds championship final So here is my story: Today is the League of legends worlds final so i went to see my girfriend early today so i can catch up the stream at 11 pm.(the tournament is taking place in korea). So when i come home i said to myself "yeah lets put the stre...
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Awaythrowstoriesfor: TIFU by trying to tease my boyfriend *(slightly) NSFW* So for the last few months, the boyfriend and I have been using metal lawn-chairs to sit at our computers because we're broke, furnitureless losers. Except yesterday we decided to splurge a little and get a nice leather computer chair. It's pr...
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[deleted]: TIFU By jerking without curtains I had gotten home without any trouble and ran to my room. I closed the door and dove into bed. At around 11:45 am, I wake up to voices outside of my window(which is facing a public path way at the side of my house). I wait a moment and then I advance to the window, opening th...
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lisa_pink: TIFU by accidentally letting Google call my sister a bitch My sister and I used to be super close, but now that we're adults we seem to disagree on everything (religion, politics, parenting, and to make it worse, our spouses literally despise each other). We've barely been on speaking terms for the last year...
7
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5
zukirin972: TIFU By suggesting to drink Jolly Rancher vodka A friend told me about this drink. The full taste of jolly rancher with the spike of alcohol. I have been suggesting it for a while now and today my roomie (we'll call him Bob) went out and got the ingredients by surprise. We went and mixed the drink of the ...
3
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shotglassanhero: TIFU by getting into the car with my uncle this afternoon. So, to truly understand what happened today I will give you some back story that is necessary. My parents are 7 years divorced; he fell in love with a French woman and moved there about a year ago, but left a lot behind for my Uncle and Grandfa...
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KhanVastar: TIFU by inviting the locals to hang out with the hairy twins Ok as is quite common, this didn't happen today, this happened many years ago in the far north Australian town of cooktown Cooktown, was a great place, heaps of Sun, good fishing etc. But just my luck as a young boy, I ventured into the Bush to ...
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OurSocialStatus: TIFU by leaving my house I'll open this up by noting that I take a notoriously long time getting ready to go out places (I'm a male, so to some this might be abnormal), and it's not really that I actually take a long time getting ready for things, it's just that I post-pone getting ready until the last...
6
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fijustfu: TIFU by tryin to be sociable So I was recently employed by a local fast food restaurant. Im in college and decided I needed a little bit of money. One of the managers there is a very good friend of my brother and I think its due to him I was hired. Hes a gamer like me but bit older with the wife/kid so the o...
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[deleted]: TIFU by letting my whole family know i was getting it on Me and my girlfriend were staying at a family members house. We were visiting from out of town, along with a few other people. One of the other people was my mom, and we were in the room directly upstairs. We were both pretty drunk and started having ...
3
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five_yolks: TIFU by getting my crush a new job Sorry for formatting errors, on mobile. I'll try to make this short. Anyways, this happened a few months ago. I worked full time at an IT help desk, and also part time at a big name retail store. At the part time job I became good friends with this girl I directly worked...
3
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WhiskeyOFfreedom: TIFU by taking a prompt from a movie i watched online. setting the scene: me at boarding school sitting in the living room which is packed end to end with a mismatch of old sofas so that everybody can fit in one tiny room when they needed to get us all together for whatever reason. one of the kids has...
6
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Firecrotch2014: TIFU by it breaking the rules of this reddit, yet my post still gets deleted. gruntmods: Its called TIFU, it's implied it has to be about you. Firecrotch2014: Ok if that's how it goes I'm implying that you owe me a million dollars or you go to jail for life. You must pay me now. Oh you don't have t...
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Dont_touch_my_coffee: TIFU by smoking a cigarette in some back alley. Today I went to a client's office for presentation. Finally got a break after a few hours and I was tired and stressed out. I needed some caffeine and nicotine. I really don't want my clients to see me smoke (Since I promote health related products) ...
6
4.166667
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annoying_dumb_guy: TIFU by telling my mom I don't believe in going to church So this happened about 20 minutes ago. I was raised a Catholic Christian and I honestly do think there is a God out there somewhere, I just don't feel like he watches us masturbate, I feel like he would have more important things to do. Anyway...
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Meatyka: TIFU by being a bro. A couple of months ago I started a new job, made some friends and one in particular became my bro, we shared same interests. We both had girlfriends and we both got a long great, however we were split into separate teams recently and didn't see each other much. Well a few days my now ex ...
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_____DEADPOOL___: TIFU BY telling Elsa to shut the fuck up. OK Reddit let me start of by saying I am a bastard, who loves sleep and is extremely cranky when I am tired. Soo after a night of drinking too much and dancing, I return to my parent's house to sleep not in my bed but on the couch, because my family came over ...
22
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red_lpn: Nsfw:TIFU by being a nurse. So, tifu. This happened about twenty minutes ago. A little information, I'm 20, I live with my fiancé, and I'm a licensed practical nurse, as my username would suggest. Usually, I steer clear of popping things, including my fiancé's pimples. But today's different. He's washing the...
3
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emoposer: TIFU by Throwing Up on My Crush I pondered for a really, really long time whether to use a throwaway or not, but decided to go for it because pretty much everyone in my university already knows about this. I haven't had the guts to look at any of the 54 messages on my phone, and I am either fucked socially or...
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turner3210: TIFU by stealing my brothers principles identity. Alright, this is pretty bad, but I do not know what to do and feel like I need to share my story. Anyways, a little background. I am 15, in 10th grade, and I have an android phone (HTC_One_M8) and I have access to a plethora of apps to cause trouble around...
18
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1,097
Lovvers: TIFU by accidentally (and completely) flashing my neighbors (NSFW?) Slight backstory: there are fleas in my room that are going to be dealt with later today, so I thought while everyone was away, I would go sleep in the "guest bedroom." I, naturally, like to sleep *au naturel*. I was just settling into my n...
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superbatranger: TIFU by cutting my son's hair *Disclaimer-This fuck up happened to my coworker, so I'm posting it as if it were him posting it. Reddit, I fucked up. I don't think I've ever fucked up like this. So, my girlfriend and I have a son who is about to turn 12 months. In those 12 months, we have not gone to g...
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bigbrofy: TIFU by getting pulled over. Ok so it all started when a girl I worked with asked me to grab to see a movie after work. She was cute so naturally I said yes. We went, had a good time and invites me back to her place and I make a move. We are messing around for a bit when she asks me if I have a condom which I...
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[deleted]: TIFU by buying iTunes gift cards for a friend This afternoon I was doing my work at the local library when I received a message from a friend via LINE Chat. She wanted my help and offered her my assistance. She wanted me to buy 3 iTunes gift cards worth $100 each and she claimed she needed it urgently. In my...
3
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brenboy: TIFU by ripping bong at lunch time. So i have a really stoner friend so we go out for a walk and we run into some kids he know from another school near by. they are all stoners too. at this point in my smoking career i had not yet smoked from a big bong. so we walk into a nearby forest and they start lighting ...
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[deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with a married man at a wedding reception 6 cranberry vodkas and about 15 jello shots in....a married man (not the person who just got married) comes up to me and tells me to "touch his cock" considering his hot ass wife is like 10 feet away from me, I looked at him like he was insane and ...
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[deleted]: TIFU decorating for Halloween So I live in a house with two buddies, and we thought it would be fun to decorate a little bit for Halloween. We all have pretty fucked up senses of humor. So, we decided one of the decorations should be a fake skeleton dressed in some fashion hanging in the little area we have ...
3
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ididcokenowshesdead: TIFU by starting a series of events that led to someone's death. Throwaway account for obvious reasons. As with many TIFUs, this didn't happen today. It happened over the course of the last 10 years and a few days ago she died. About 10 years ago, I was introduced to cocaine by J. I had known h...
7
2.142857
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Kongo204: TIFU at my grandma's funeral I'm not proud of this story. I just got a new job in a management position at a factory about a week ago. I'm fresh out of college and in a lot of debt, so I'm *really* glad to have this job. I got a work issued iPhone, and for me it was the symbol of my employment. It represent...
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[deleted]: TIFU By taking Xanax Actually, I've been fucking up all weekend. On friday I started a new job, and came home feeling like I was about to have a panic attack, so like a normal person I take the medication thats been proscribed to treat this stuff. Except, this was my first time taking it. Like a good patient...
3
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lilmatt432: TIFU by playing "The Floor Is Lava" I'm a university student who lives in a fairly boring uni house, so when someone invites me and a friend to their place for a few drinks and games, we indefinitely partake. So to set the scene, there is me, my friend (both guys) and 2 lovely females, who we met previously...
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Emirae: TIFU: By having to give my 9 year old kid the sex talk...(gets worse) (NWSish?) To set the whole story I have to start from the beginning. In my place we currently have 3 computers. One is mine, the other is my brothers. Both are in the kitchen/living room area. And then we have a laptop that everyone uses. Mai...
8
33.125
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leftoverrice54: TIFU by going to sleep late. So I decided to stay up until 6 am watching the League of Legends Worlds Finals. It was alright, but but the end of it, I was obviously tired. I go to my room upstairs, turn off the lights, and proceed to attempt to go to sleep. Well, a few minutes roll by, and I start to ...
3
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[deleted]: TIFU by taking a girl to an abandoned palace Ok so i gotta say this. I have never written anything on reddit before, since i'm usually only reading stuff here. But what happened today just deserves to be here. First of all it's more sad than funny. A little backstory first then. The girl is my best friend...
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9.4
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Unigone: TIFU by telling my SO to go fuck himself after he told me that his father had died. This just happened about 12 hours ago. I've already (profusely) apologized and cried and all that junk. Basically my idiot friend changed the name of my bf to something unrecognizable without telling me. Yesterday night he me...
17
131.058824
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5
Argonian_Skeever: TIFU Realized I installed my video editor onto my Solid State Drive From what I understand, SSD are best utilized when there is minimal rewriting, so having a program that creates (what I imagine) a fair amount of data writing to and erasing from the drive is no good. popopoppip: ssd drives r not us...
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DatesedAndConfused: TIFU By Using Tinder. TIFU by using Tinder. Whenever I use the app, I keep clicking like on everyone I come across and then interact with whoever I'm interested in after I have been matched with them. Today, I matched up with my cousin and I don't know what to do next. This is pretty awkward, I wo...
7
4.571429
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Jon-Osterman: TIFU by clarifying something with a girl I never met. Two weeks earlier, I accepted a friend request from a girl, this one sorority girl, who I thought I met at an event - I didn't remember her face all too well so I assumed it was her. We talked for about two weeks, just random conversations and the lot...
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Jeezcakes: TIFU By Shaving My Pubes (M) Backstory: A few friends convinced me its a good idea to shave because its better for the women. Me being a nerdy virgin thought this was a fantastic idea. This story takes place when im 16. One night in the shower i put the idea to work and grabbed by mums razor. I started shav...
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TehEwok: TIFU by tackling an 10-year-old boy to the ground in front of a crowd of people **This tale happened around two years ago - and after telling the story to a friend today I realised the events have been scorched into my memory. I may as well post it here.** I live in Southern England and every year, sometime d...
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[deleted]: TIFU by letting a guy shoot up drugs So a little background info. I am a manager at a restraunt in a big city near downtown. Accordingly, we receive a lot of homeless people and drugs addicts multiple times a day. A guy walks upto our counter and asks for a spoon. I assumed he was already eating in our lobb...
6
74.166667
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7
Lostinuniverse: TIFU by getting drunk with my SO and covered in piss No throwaway I am me this is I and it was more his TIFU than mine anyway. Not today a few months ago but there are a lot to chose from Ok so to preface please don't mind the shit spelling and grammar my keyboard sucks assholes ans is half broken as i...
3
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chancebeloud: TIFU by spending $250 on some trading cards I'm a fan of the trading card game Magic: The Gathering. Recently I decided to make a deck with a creature type called Slivers. I didn't have many of them so I went to Amazon to get a bunch. After looking through a lot and adding various cards to my cart the to...
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poop_dawg: TIFU by letting my mother see my room. My boyfriend and I just got a new place a couple months ago, and my mom was going to be in the area today so she suggested she stop by and finally check it out for the first time. Sure - why not? She's fun and I was already tidying up anyway. Touring our apartment, I ...
7
15
1413756185
1413759197
t3_2jq82a
t5_2to41
27
Professor_Boo: Tifu by meeting my SO's dad for the first time. So this actually happened about a year ago but it's a good story of like to share with you all. So one night me and the girlfriend are out drinking and having a good time with friends, after a fair amount of beers were consumed by her and my friends we dec...
4
6.75
1413756479
1413771675
t3_2jq8ie
t5_2to41
10
[deleted]: TIFU by disposing of someone's piss jugs, resulting in public tears for him, and a panic attack for me. This happened about a week ago but I wouldn't have been able to write about it without going full fetal position until now. Also fuck throwaways. My non pornographic account could have been identifying f...
4
2.5
1413759383
1413767064
t3_2jqdgi
t5_2to41
8
Mega_Toast: TIFU I made a big mistake by trying to get back at my dog... gimme_bacon_now: So you had a shitty day and decided to bark loudly into your dog's ear while it was sleeping so you could have a laugh? And then ignored the limping/injury that you caused? You didn't fuck up, you ARE a fuck up. Mega_Toast: I d...
5
1.6
1413762756
1413841011
t3_2jqj2i
t5_2to41
229
CCCPAKA: TIFU by not noticing my 7 y.o. daughter lurking behind my wife.. Wifey is slightly bent over, folding clothes on our bed. I enter the room, notice her lovely cleavage and say: "I can't wait to get you naked, so I can smother my face with those beautiful tits, while I finger your pussy". Ok, I admit - I tend to...
8
28.625
1413763217
1413763781
t3_2jqju5
t5_2to41
6
[deleted]: TIFU by smoking weed at my job. So I work at a concert venue in New Jersey. I find out that Wiz Khalifa is going to be performing there and a lot of my friends would be there. I thought it would be a fun experience to smoke weed at a Wiz Khalifa concert and get paid during it. So i'm ushering at the concert ...
3
2
1413764391
1413768360
t3_2jqlt3
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14
gfff: TIFU by not rinsing the beer glass before pouring my SO a drink. I wanted to have a beer while watching tv at my girlfriends house so I offered to go get some. She insisted I use her beer mugs. The mugs were in her room because girl. I take two glasses and walk to kitchen without turning on the lights and pour be...
3
4.666667
1413765008
1413767944
t3_2jqmuw
t5_2to41
6
MelanisticPolarBear: TIFU by answering a random number's text *To try to keep this as anonymous as possible, none of the names here are real* ____ **Backstory** Back last year, I was an average high school freshman. A bit boring and shy or whatever but you get the picture. A few months into the year, I started liking ...
4
1.5
1413763633
1413771156
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13
hairyfedora: [TIFU] Taking a gamble on a fart Quick_man: Hi hairyfedora, thank you for submitting to /r/tifu. Unfortunately your submission *[TIFU] Taking a gamble on a fart* has been removed because it violates RULE 10: "All posts centered around defecation will be removed unless it's Saturday." Please feel free to ...
6
2.166667
1413764106
1413869588
t3_2jqlcw
t5_2to41
806
nadnerb_: TIFU by ruining an elderly couples marriage. Oh reddit reddit reddit today I fucked up bad, not on my part but I defiently got an older gentleman in quite a bit of trouble to say the least. So I work in a struggling electronic store and some of our biggest clientele are elderly people, they like to come to us...
8
100.75
1413767441
1413820329
t3_2jqqv1
t5_2to41
14
SirSpicyWeiner: TIFU by making a joke at the dinner table. Two years ago today my mom's boyfriend stopped smoking. He started up the year him and my mom started dating after stopping 10 years prior. So somehow we got on the topic of smoking, and I asked him how long ago he quit. He actually didn't know himself, so my m...
3
4.666667
1413768135
1413769320
t3_2jqrz5
t5_2to41
6
zearoe: TIFU by not eating my lunch BigBobsBootyBarn: I promise you, that uneaten sandwich wasn't the catalyst, it was just the final straw and had nothing to do with you. What kind of sandwich though? I never leave one unfinished. Hell, sometimes I contemplate a second one. Byzantine279: I doubt it was even a final ...
4
1.5
1413770285
1413784347
t3_2jqvhe
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407
[deleted]: TIFU by giving my neighbors my wifi password. This fuckup didn't happen today, but the consequences of it did. My neighbors are so poor they can't afford internet. They barely scrape by from month to month, and have borrowed cash from me in the past to make it by. There are three of them together living in...
10
40.7
1413770467
1413773538
t3_2jqvsq
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98
[deleted]: TIFU by masturbating at a young age So lets just start off by giving a back story. (Mindful this is my first post but this is something ive always wanted to share) I started masturbating when i was about in 2nd grade. I would do this odd position where i was laying face down and would use my left hand to sor...
7
14
1413772120
1413916486
t3_2jqyij
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3
yoyoyoyoyoyo954: TIFU By maybe cheating on my girlfriend. So I know that cheating is a terrible, absolutely shameful thing to do to someone you truly care about and I never possibly thought I could bring myself to do such a thing. This weekend I fucked and may have cheated on my girlfriend of three weeks. We have been ...
5
0.6
1413773279
1413795761
t3_2jr0ag
t5_2to41
45
serosanguinous: TIFU by holding a conversation with my roommate after walking in on him masturbating TIFU, well actually it was last night but I am still cringing hard today. Last night my roommate was in the living room when I got home around midnight, we talked for a couple minutes and then he went up to his room. I ...
4
11.25
1413772776
1413854953
t3_2jqzis
t5_2to41
140
meowmeowcatbutt: TIFU by calling a customer out. I work in a women's clothing & intimates store. I'm ringing up a customer for quite a bit of lingerie, and ask what the occasion is. She tells me it's for work at (local strip club) where she's a bartender. She looks a bit embarrassed by her workplace, so I tell her ...
14
10
1413773226
1413866754
t3_2jr07d
t5_2to41
1,076
comineeyeaha: TIFU by accidentally getting creep-shots of the popular girls in my high school all day long I was in a video production class all through high school. I was pretty good with a camera, so other clubs asked me to shoot their events all the time. One event had me following students around the school all day...
7
153.714286
1413773083
1413776547
t3_2jr001
t5_2to41
6
Lostinuniverse: TIFU by trying to connect with my one fourth russian blood. As i'd posted in the other one i had another story this IS my tifu and me being difficult as fuck. it's worse too and...well shit let's get it on! Several months ago again and again no throwaway this is one of my party stories! Backstory agai...
3
2
1413773944
1413855772
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65
NokemG: TIFU by ruining my brothers High School social life. My younger brother is a member of his High School football them and apparently is relatively popular when it comes to High School social standings. He is also very open to sharing the happenings of High School with his family, so he will get home from school ...
7
9.285714
1413774220
1423292597
t3_2jr1s9
t5_2to41
15
YouWantALime: TIFU By playing the knife game with a pencil. We were ~~slacking~~ totally paying attention in class, and somehow we started talking about the knife game. You know, where you take a knife, and stab it *between* your fingers? I just happened to be holding a ~~dagger~~ sharp pencil. Not being an idiot, *or ...
4
3.75
1413774898
1413842997
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32
AreBonitaFishBig: TIFU by blacking out and cutting my nut sack open. Cut to a month ago, in college, party tonight. Split a fifth of makers mark with a friend. Wake up next day, blood all over my bed and a laceration in the side of my scrotum about the size of quarter. I have no idea how it happened, when i originally ...
5
6.4
1413775243
1413829582
t3_2jr3bj
t5_2to41
4,783
SayFuckYeah: TIFU by taking my eldest daughter shopping with me. My daughters 9th birthday is coming up and we decided to do a Halloween party. Half way though decorating we run out of fake spider web, I tell my wife I was going to go to the store and get more. On my way out the door I asked my daughter wanted to come ...
17
281.352941
1413763334
1413846462
t3_2jqk1v
t5_2to41
17
silkyvirtuoso: TIFU by accidentally peeping on my elderly coworker taking a piss This happened several years ago and I still endure a large amount of dread and embarrassment every time I think about it. I volunteered as an usher at a theater for several years, a very classy and historical place. I worked there with a ...
3
5.666667
1413776060
1414065463
t3_2jr4k3
t5_2to41
18
tifuthrowaaa: TIFU by threatening the man my mom might be having an affair with so basically, normal morning, normal day. I go into the kitchen to get myself some raisin bran when my moms phone which she forgot on the counter buzzes. Intending to hand it to her I pick it up only to find its a txt message from this guy ...
6
3
1413777904
1413786122
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4
[deleted]: TIFU by letting my cousin drink my piss (NSFW-ish) Bare with me on a tablet . Anyways this morning me and my cousin were chilling out playing some NBA. My cousin left the room to get some batteries for the controller so while his gone I decided it would be funny to piss in a can of Pepsi and throw it out t...
5
0.8
1413779140
1413866470
t3_2jr8wo
t5_2to41
8
sthree: TIFU by copy pasting a porn discussion with a friend to my mom So a friend of mine whom I'm flirting told me her favorite scene is "an anal gangbang with kery sable", which I copied and pasted into Google, to find the scene. Few hours later, my mom asked me a recipe I did, which I found and copied the link (wh...
3
2.666667
1413785163
1413839780
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121
TwinKingdomHearts: TIFU By not paying attention while skyping with my boyfriend TIFU....Today I was back home from college for the weekend and I decided to take advantage of being back in the city so I bought a rabbit for my ld bf and I to use. We played around for a little bit on Skype and after we finished we stayed ...
5
24.2
1413785282
1413795115
t3_2jrg84
t5_2to41
7
[deleted]: TIFU by accidentally asking a 15yr old for drugs I am with my friend, and we have college midterms and have so much studying to get done. We wanted to score some adderall in order to stay awake all night to get shit done. I was going through my contacts, and stumbled on one of my old friends. She was kinda s...
3
2.333333
1413761449
1413843224
t3_2jqgv1
t5_2to41
10
bigassginger: TIFU by confusing my exam date Everyone's had that dream where they missed their exam? I pulled that one off this weekend. I took 6 years off before going back to get my Master's, and getting back into school has been challenging because a lot of it is online only now. I'm in a statistics course that is ...
4
2.5
1413787938
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142
grug1234: TIFU by letting my girlfriend clean under my bed TIFU, peeps. I may now actually be single. My girlfriend's staying with me for the week while her sister and her family are in town, so they can have her place without anyone having to sleep on the couch. Girlfriend and I have been dating for four or so month...
16
8.875
1413788422
1413806272
t3_2jrjkg
t5_2to41
5
[deleted]: TIFU by potentially giving my classmate AIDS So the story begins a few months ago in Vegas, where I had a passionate night with a hooker. A few months later I start coughing blood out of nowhere. A coworker saw me and promptly told me to go see a doctor. So i did. After a few visits and tests, it was confirm...
6
0.833333
1413789310
1414232390
t3_2jrkgj
t5_2to41
14
dbritt320: TIFU By pissing myself in the middle of the university library. So a friend and I had plans to go to the library to study last night. I was going to catch him up on some chemistry. On our way to the library it was made known to me that my friend (lets call him tyler) tyler had a little bit of vodka left from...
8
1.75
1413792489
1413822200
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t5_2to41
6
adoty: TIFU by throwing a quesadilla at Muriel's face. Guys, I really fucked up and just need to get this off my chest... I rarely drink more than one or two beers at a time, but last night was different. My friend recently came out and I promised him I would accompany him to a gay bar, even though I'm straight. Beca...
5
1.2
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1413870865
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38
Seekandinspire: TIFU by drinking a spider There I was, taking a glorious mid day nap in my friends guest room, the leftovers of this morning feast of donuts and chocolate milk lay on the night stand. The sun beamed through the curtains softly waking me from my much needed slumber. I open my eyes and roll over, seeing...
4
9.5