start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1356462584 | 1356576727 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | jaasx: TIFU by letting my circular saw cut its own power cord, not noticing that, and then disassembling it to find the problem.
Acthinian: I've cut my share of cords, being a carpenter it comes with the territory, especially when I pinned the guard. The cord always wraps up into the blade... you didn't notice the bi... | 4 | 24.75 | |
1356473098 | 1356475275 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | thecreator666: TIFU by getting busted looking at porn in by my friends mom.
So I wasnt really looking at porn, I was just looking at reddit and stumbled upon an nsfw post and checked it out, you know, for science. As I was looking at it my friend's mom caught the reflection of a naked woman in my glasses. She gasped a... | 4 | 22.75 | |
1356474600 | 1357318279 | null | t5_2to41 | 77 | bachrock37: TIFU and let the whole church know I had a bad time in the bathroom
I've recently become strongly agnostic, but my mother has not yet accepted it. So to keep the peace, I attend mass with her when I visit home or she visits me. For Christmas Eve Vigil mass, I could suddenly feel my innards somersaulting jus... | 6 | 12.833333 | |
1356466336 | 1356478273 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my Grandpa's Christmas present in a fit of anger.
So today, the big Christmas plan was for my family to go to my aunt's house, but my drama-queen sister decided she didn't want to go. My mom tends to freak out over every holiday as it is, so this of course really stressed her out.
I'm taki... | 3 | 0 | |
1356482180 | 1356504020 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | iamblegion: TIFU by ignoring jaw pain.
So, I've had some fairly mild jaw pain for the last week or so, and, being male, decided to ignore it, figuring it will go away. This morning I wake up and can't open my jaw wider than a finger. After a generous amount of Advil and Tylenol, I was able to get it open wide enough to... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1356487017 | 1356628591 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | bloodstaindstoat: TIFU By hydroplaning on the interstate, and spiraling off it into the side of a mountain.
Technically this was yesterday. And technically it wasn't the biggest fuck up ever. The three human passengers and serpent made it out completely unscathed. But damn, crimmas. Damn.
http://imgur.com/pzTBH
OldMan... | 10 | 7.1 | |
1356508503 | 1356590595 | t3_15g8su | t5_2to41 | 33 | Arlieth: Honestly, it's kind of creepy.
LostConscript: Someone who posts on r/gonewild probably isn't the best judge, wouldn't you agree?
Arlieth: Actually, I don't agree. They have their own standards on what is appropriate or not, and people post on there for attention.
On the other hand, I would really, really like... | 10 | 3.3 | |
1356504505 | 1356667612 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | cavenator: TIFU and put "Gak" in my niece's hair.
While using the vile substance to make a booger oriented joke to my little niece, I twirled "Gak" in the air as I fake sneezed. The handful landed on my nieces head. She had a ball of Gak and hair that was impossible to separate. My sister took out the scissors and cut ... | 7 | 6.571429 | |
1356514536 | 1356635978 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally peeing on my chair cushion.
So, I accidentally peed on my chair cushion, and I am already extremely embarrassed about it, and I will be embarrassed to the max whenever my mom sees my pee-smelling chair cushion when she wakes up, not to mention she would probably be pretty pissed (pun int... | 4 | 4 | |
1356550934 | 1356595087 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,400 | mugzy86: TIFU by tipping my waitress $50.
Last week, at my office Christmas party, I won a gift card to a local restaurant for $40.
Saturday night my girlfriend and I went and had dinner and drinks there and our bill came to $40.55.
I used the total amount on the gift card and having no cash, I decided to put the .55... | 16 | 87.5 | |
1356559085 | 1356853556 | null | t5_2to41 | 126 | dancing_raptor_jesus: TIFU by thinking I had £450 for 12 weeks and getting my hopes up. I actually have £89.
Stupidly got my hopes up thinking I had £450 left of my student loan after halls rent. It turns out the rent has gone up by quite a considerable amount. So much so that I now have £89 to last me 12 weeks until m... | 7 | 18 | |
1356575495 | 1356651997 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,043 | justastupidname: Congratulations TIFU, its been ~5 days since one of you shit yourself!
Edit: Streaks over everybody :( [This guy killed it](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/15j7kx/tifu_and_shit_myself/)
[deleted]: i've never seen that counter above 0, including now.. is it me?
PandaSandwich: It's an image, not a ... | 8 | 255.375 | |
1356584676 | 1356632380 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | dalanmiller: TIFU by totally fucking up my Xbox and Halo 4 disk
My Xbox is very old and started having the tray won't open issue. I fixed it before by inserting a knife just below the disk tray and it would magically open.
Today though, I raged on the tray when it wouldn't open and forced it open. I then put the Halo... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1356576381 | 1356632613 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | Chumbodonk: TIFU Walking my dog and lost my new glasses.
So it's been snowing most of the day and that snow turned into rain/wind this evening. I didn't feel like taking the dog out, but he really needed to. I grabbed my umbrella and headed out. It was clear even he didn't want to be out in the elements, but nature ... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1356611583 | 1356633621 | null | t5_2to41 | 109 | StephJane: TIFU by falling in a garbage bin and breaking my 8 year old cousin's jaw.
My family is full of "wild child" kids and I love them to pieces, so I was running around full pelt with the kids (I'm 16) and wasn't looking where I was running.
I look around to see who's chasing me and run full pelt into a large ... | 4 | 27.25 | |
1356615855 | 1356727036 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | utterbasketcase: TIFU by spilling a glass of water on my laptop
Of course I had to put my glass of water right next to my shiny new laptop. Of course I then had to randomly flail my arm at said glass and it spilled all over the laptop.
I let it dry out for a couple of hours and so far it seems to still work fine, some... | 7 | 1.857143 | |
1356624325 | 1356666274 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | the_Sn_man: TIFU by having sex with me best friend's ex.
Long story short, had a bonfire last night at my place. Invited some close friends, the best friend's ex shows up with them. No biggie, we were always pretty cool since we spent so much time around each other while they were together. Drinks are imbibed and we st... | 5 | 18.2 | |
1356620632 | 1356774788 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | GrapeRello: TIFU by messing with the toilet
So Sometimes our toilet will keep running a little bit after you flush it. So you have to jiggle the handle to make it stop. This time it got really stuck so I had to take the back of the toilet off to try to fix it. One things leads to another and I knock off a little black ... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1356630007 | 1356641934 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | AKR44: TIFU by smashing a generator through my $750+ truck window
http://tinypic.com/r/8y6fcl/6
I was hauling a portable generator just down the road, and figured it'd be ok if I just took it really slow (I didn't listen to the little voice that asked, "should I strap this down?). The generator has two wheels on the b... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1356638251 | 1356728970 | null | t5_2to41 | 523 | jacoballen22: TIFU and SHIT Myself
There's been a flu bug going around in the Chicago area. Thought nothing if it. A lot of my friends had it or were just getting over it. I somehow survived my whole work shift. Worked quite slowly.
Got home, beat a coworker in 2k a few times. Thought the feeling would pass. Walked u... | 7 | 74.714286 | |
1356639370 | 1356676467 | null | t5_2to41 | 602 | anounceofpervention: TIFU by masturbating in front of a baby monitor
I'm at my sister's house for the holidays and have been pretty bored so I've been masturbating around the place. My sister's roommate and her three year old are out of town so of course I masturbated in the roommate's room. Then I masturbated in the k... | 7 | 86 | |
1356650319 | 1356670486 | null | t5_2to41 | 165 | thatgirlgidget: Sock pattern suggestions? Toe socks?
Dash275: /r/knitting be that way -->
pilvy: /r/knitting be that way --> /r/knitting
[deleted]: /r/knitting <---
|
Be that way----
Edit:FAIL
pilvy: It's not as easy as it seems...
| 5 | 33 | |
1356655314 | 1356825118 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Wiggleman: TIFU by stabbing myself with a knife I got from Christmas.
Well, its been two days since unwrapping my new knife set. Two days. The box remained sealed, as I would be returning home to school without the space or desire to carry these weapons in my suitcase. I should have left them alone, but alas, my inn... | 10 | 4.6 | |
1356656878 | 1356714339 | null | t5_2to41 | 263 | thatgirlgidget: TIFU by reaching the front page of a subreddit with a post meant for elsewhere
I'm sorry r/tifu, I posted a sock pattern request here instead of r/knitting... Thank you for not making me feel more moronic than I already feel.
[deleted]: http://imgur.com/OfEWS
loki444: I don't know how that feels...Neve... | 4 | 65.75 | |
1356658506 | 1356730182 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | handbanna32: TIFU by hooking up while blacked out.
Not the worst on here by far, but still bad. I came home from college for the holidays and went to a friends party. I drank the vast majority of a bottle of jack by myself and wound up blacking out. No big deal, untill i woke up with pictures of me and my Ex hooking up... | 5 | 6 | |
1356660312 | 1356703552 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | 68newman: TIFU surfing for porn using my regular Windows environment
I run Firefox under Vista and have an XP virtual machine which I can use for nefarious purposes but I was being lazy and didn't use it. I did a Google search for the interest I was looking for and found a link to a video clip site. Started watching an... | 4 | 6 | |
1356666031 | 1356677431 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU on Omegle
OK, I need some help. So, I was messing around on Omegle, and I said some stuff I shouldn't have. Stuff that could get me in trouble. Stuff that could seriously fuck up my life (I'm a minor). I looked at their privacy policy; they keep IP logs & records of everything indefinitely. What can... | 3 | 3 | |
1356490829 | 1356728676 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | Genny902: TIFU by cooking cheese sauce with cheese that was off. In a skillet.
It was nasty, and now I feel sick.
depricatedzero: Why would you eat it?
Genny902: I hadn't noticed the cheese was moldy.
depricatedzero: I...I'm so sorry.
Genny902: Because you asked that, or because I was sick?
depricatedzero: Because you ... | 7 | 0.857143 | |
1356479816 | 1356671190 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally commissioning a prior date for a present for my current girlfriend.
A couple weeks ago, I had a friend come up to me and ask if I was interested in a painting from his girlfriend at all. She needed extra funds that he could not give and she does paintings as a hobby. I said sure and spen... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1356671788 | 1356695359 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | fieldcopper: TIFU by giving head to someone who had just ejaculated.
I'm just going to start off by saying that I do kegel excersizes for fun, so when I bang, I can make my vajayjay pretty clenched up.
Anyway, so I am getting it on with this guy and it is awesome and after a little I think, "hey maybe I should go down... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1356671250 | 1356771442 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | warpaint: TIFU by spilling my iced beverage on my wang while driving on a long stretch of the freeway.
):
0h_Lord: I have you tagged as "fapped to friends mom and got caught by friend".
You sir, need to stop getting into wang-related high jinx.
BaakCha: You need to explain more about this tag you gave him.
| 3 | 8 | |
1356683911 | 1357201201 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU by cutting the tip of my finger off... Citrus fruit is evil.
Reddit, Today... I fucked up.
Well, actually, it wasn't today. It was about 6 years ago when I was dating my neighbour.
I shall tell you a story, a funny story, a BLOODY story, of my sheer retarded actions involving a knife... and an o... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1356698305 | 1356743528 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,435 | stickyturtle: TIFU by accidentally showing my mom my dad's porn collection.
We have this iMac in our study that pretty much no one in the family uses since everyone has their own laptop. The only time that computer gets used is when one of us has pictures to upload, since there's tons of free space on there and viewin... | 11 | 130.454545 | |
1356683608 | 1356742243 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | Jonny_Canuck_1: TIFU by flooding my and my neighbours apartment causing her to lose her bathroom and kitchen
So I left the apartment I'm leasing to go visit my parents for the holidays. Before I left I decided to intentionally leave the windows open so 'humidity wouldn't build up and give me problems with mould'. Becau... | 7 | 2.142857 | |
1356713181 | 1358653792 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | wwt0112: TIFU by telling my best friend his girlfriend's plans for after high school.
Pretty minor compared to everything else on here, but I feel bad about it.
Went to the mall with my buddy, we'll call him Jack. Jack and I were just walking around until our showing of Django Unchained started. We end up talking abou... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1356625524 | 1356740433 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU when my cousins came over and he slipped on the carpet
I was in the middle off the hall my little cousin ran and slipped on the carpet and you know what was behind me on top of the carpet A fucking steel ladder the size of the hall, In retrospect a better title would have been Today I got fucked up TIGF... | 3 | 4 | |
1356736738 | 1357249715 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by not brushing properly and getting 6 cavities
I've never been very good at brushing my teeth daily, then I went off to college. A messy schedule combined with sleeping in as late as possible resulted in me not brushing my teeth nearly as much as I should have. Today I went to the dentist for a routine... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1356738045 | 1356761814 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting into a car accident
I was heading down to my dads house. I live in Colorado and the roads are a tad icy. However, i went out the day before when roads were in similar conditions.
So i turn out of my neighborhood and onto the road that will get me to the main road to my dads house. The speed... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1356745716 | 1356978229 | null | t5_2to41 | 178 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating Pizza.
A new pizza joint opened up in my town so me and a friend decided to drop by. Neither of us had eaten all day so we figured we'd split a medium pie and some bread sticks. After waiting 40 minutes we each ate 4 slices of pizza and 3 bread sticks in a matter of 15 minutes washing it all d... | 7 | 25.428571 | |
1356746368 | 1357020807 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | GrandEthos: TIFU by donating the first toy my wife bought for our son
So every year around Christmas we take a couple of boxes into the kid's room and fill them up with stuff. My son is six, so he has some younger stuff to donate to Goodwill stores. Various toys, etc.
Well we also put some stuffed animals on the "chop... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1356751061 | 1356817588 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU: My dad found my stash of marijuana.
Well not my dad but here's the story. My dad's girlfriend saw my bag because I left it on the ground by the TV. She picked it up and decided to go through it. She smelled something weird and it came from the case my headphones were in. So she then takes it to my fath... | 11 | 1.636364 | |
1356757634 | 1356788549 | null | t5_2to41 | 98 | Otterz82: TIFU by wearing my new pajamas
So I got new pajamas because my other pairs decided to flee. My dad and sister went to pick up a pair while they were out and thu came back with a little bit bigger size than needed. The pajamas had those strings on them to tighten so I didn't think it would be a problem making ... | 3 | 32.666667 | |
1356784148 | 1356890510 | null | t5_2to41 | 146 | AtomicDouche: TIFU by helping my mother with a website.
Today I fucked up.
Little background story first: My mother is an artist who barley uses computers, she paints [cartoonish "erotic"](http://i.imgur.com/0jXxp.png) paintings and sells them for a living.
She's got a website that someone made for her a while back... | 11 | 13.272727 | |
1356779631 | 1356803315 | null | t5_2to41 | 234 | CapnToker: TIFU by flooding the treatment room at my clinic.
I work nights at an animal emergency clinic and one of my duties is to mop each night. In an effort to be efficient I was letting the mop bucket fill up while I went into another room to start a load of laundry and then did a few more menial tasks. Five minut... | 11 | 21.272727 | |
1356800978 | 1356875464 | null | t5_2to41 | 345 | Dicktag: TIFU and now have a skin tag on my dong from having too much free time
Something strange popped up on my dick, and due to my lack of hygiene mixed with playing sports, I assumed it was a pimple and tried to pop it. It turned really red and hurt like a motherfucker, but it didn't pop. It kinda scared me, so I c... | 8 | 43.125 | |
1356803320 | 1356853328 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,086 | [deleted]: TIFU by smelling my wife's bath sponge
While taking a shower this morning I turn to a bath sponge hanging on a hook at eye level and the smell just hit me....
SEMEN.
The problem is we haven't had sex in months and I never do my duties in the bathroom nor would I clean my hands on this thing. The smell is ... | 11 | 98.727273 | |
1356807793 | 1356890394 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | Chunga_the_Great: TIFU by Not Wiping an Old Hard Drive
So about a year ago, I took apart the old PC that I had in my room for about 2 years. Today, my dad comes upstairs and asks for all the parts to it so he can put it back together, so I had all the stuff to him. I just realized I didn't wipe the hard drive that was ... | 6 | 8.666667 | |
1356808454 | 1356827774 | null | t5_2to41 | -7 | foilgoil: TIFU by posting something considerably offensive on facebook (through twitter)
It was meant to be a joke, but a few people took it the wrong way -- I deleted it an hour after and apologized privately to the offended, but I still feel really guilty about it and am worried that alot of people think I'm an igno... | 3 | -2.333333 | |
1356811681 | 1356812844 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | drchow: TIFU by dropping a deuce in my shorts.
Looks like I'm officially a member of this subreddit.
theohgod: Has the counter ever read anything other than 0?
drchow: I remember it saying 4 days once. Must of been some kind of record.
| 3 | 7 | |
1356806440 | 1356847685 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | dumbgirl72: TIFU making pancakes.
Heavy cream is not an acceptable substitution for buttermilk. Threw out the whole thing. Not a damn thing to eat in the house now and it's snowing like crazy outside and I'm broke.
[deleted]: use milk and add a tablespoon of vinegar or lemon juice to it.
rebop: I'm guessing if she ha... | 5 | 2 | |
1356826656 | 1356895376 | null | t5_2to41 | 176 | nrfx: TIFU by throwing my back out while trying not to shit myself. Still shat myself.
Seriously miserable right now and (not so) seriously considering suicide.
I've been sick since the day after Christmas. Started with chills/fever, moved to vomiting, then just yesterday the worst diarrhea ever. I've been trying to f... | 4 | 44 | |
1356824867 | 1356841304 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | sunshineandgasoline: TIFU by agreeing to dog-sit
I agreed to look after a friend's dog for the day. When his girlfriend dropped her off this morning she said the dog wasn't feeling well, but I assured her I could handle anything and told her to have a nice day at the spa.
Fast forward 2 hours. Dog is whining to go ou... | 4 | 15.75 | |
1356833126 | 1356943746 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | Renae82: TIFU, I bought my husband three games for his bday. that he already had. I bought them on ebay
My husband keeps an online list of his game collection along with a want list. I thought I was being super cool by going on there and deciding to complete one of his small collections, super famicom. Shortly after ch... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1356827393 | 1356965848 | null | t5_2to41 | 72 | Slaot: TIFU by eating my own jizz.
Last night I jacked off, when I finished I wiped my jizz on the last tissue in the box. Today, after I had a sneezing fit, I grabbed the nearest napkin to wipe my nose. I smeared jizz all over my face.
SilentScience: Wha....Holy shi------dude I am so sorry.
Slaot: It was a sticky situ... | 5 | 14.4 | |
1356838927 | 1356854168 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to sexually assault my girlfriend.
My girlfriend is really into consensual nonconsent. Whilst vigorously making out I starting squeezing her tit and tried to stick my tongue in her ear, and she starting squirming and telling me to stop. We have an established safeword, so I kept going thinking... | 11 | 1 | |
1356839174 | 1356898299 | null | t5_2to41 | 547 | [deleted]: TIFU by cutting off a neck-mole with nail clippers
Short and sweet with this one, as it happened moments ago and frankly I'm not feeling so hot
So totally random, last night it was 1am and i touched a pretty raised mole on my neck that I've had since i can remember. It was long enough that you could like ro... | 8 | 68.375 | |
1356839543 | 1356844914 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by having diarrhea in a urinal and shi**ing in the bathtub
this happened some time ago in October,so here's the story:
I was sick at the time and having diarrhea,i even stayed 2 days at home instead of going to school, everytime i had to poop,i had to do it instantly, so, the day i went to school i was... | 9 | 2.666667 | |
1356849371 | 1357232002 | null | t5_2to41 | 687 | thebornotaku: TIFU by taking a picture of my girlfriend. (NSFW)
So, My girlfriend was on the bed behind me, drunk, and playing around with her iPod. She was having a conversation with Siri, and asked what a penis was.
Naturally, I (also drunk) turned around and whipped my cock out.
She works her way over to me and st... | 9 | 76.333333 | |
1356877696 | 1357163622 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | Munchkin_Masher: TIFU by standing to piss when I'm sick
So for the last few days, I've been sick. Aching joints, upset stomach, hurts to move, super sensitive to sunlight etc etc, normal being sick symptoms. So earlier this morning I went to go to the bathroom and was taking a piss, all the sudden I start coughing and ... | 4 | 24.75 | |
1356903187 | 1357130149 | null | t5_2to41 | 774 | asswater_everywhere: TIFU by spraying warm water out of my ass onto my parent's bedroom carpet.
So I'm casually having a bath, scrub-a-dub-dubbing everywhere, and I mean everywhere. I was doing a little "keyhole surgery", just making sure I'm all in clean functioning order - you never know when someone will want to ins... | 11 | 70.363636 | |
1356904944 | 1356967761 | null | t5_2to41 | 245 | Not_atall: TIFU by vomiting in my fiances pants.
We get home and put the pizza in the oven, while we waited for the pizza to finish I thought I would go ahead and have an energy drink. I downed that in a few minutes. Big mistake. My stomach started to hurt a little but I said what the fuck and went for the nice greasy ... | 11 | 22.272727 | |
1356901710 | 1356908938 | null | t5_2to41 | 133 | [deleted]: TIFU and shattered a $900 computer.
So back on Black Friday I bought this nice expensive Lenovo touchscreen desktop for my family to use downstairs. Before that, we had a Toshiba laptop there, and we kept pens and pencils and things behind it. Whenever we needed to use something like that, we pulled down the... | 4 | 33.25 | |
1356908611 | 1363565683 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | ThatSquareChick: TIFU by getting arrested and having to have my mother in law clean up our depraved bedroom
My husband and I got some stupid stuff happen which ended up in spending some time in the pokey. With eviction staring us in the face, we called the closest people available, his parents.
We don't have any kid... | 11 | 2.090909 | |
1356915954 | 1356920613 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by honking, screaming and flipping of an obvious out-of-towner in a giant RV.
Turned out to be some cousins I hadn't seen in years going to the same holiday party as me at my parents...
Damnit- flipped *off*. Right in the title. Sorry guys
swordfishtrombonez: Yikes, maybe you should get your road rage ... | 3 | 6 | |
1356926951 | 1356965682 | null | t5_2to41 | 209 | [deleted]: TIFU and Made My Step Grandma Shit Herself.
My entire family has been visiting my grandparents house for the holidays, and today we were having a party because it was my uncles birthday.
My little cousins got these awesome Darth Vader masks for Christmas, and I had been chasing them around wearing one. I ... | 4 | 52.25 | |
1356949496 | 1357187683 | t3_15pjoe | t5_2to41 | 5 | Madpiggy: ahh ok I understand and spices scare the shot oh of my dick now
[deleted]: >spices scare the shot oh of my dick now
Between you and OP, this comment chain is hilarious.
Madpiggy: this is why i hate my kindle. i havent figured out how to disable autocorrect
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1356964867 | 1357005878 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | bluefrost13: TIFU by falling out of bed.
My room is rather small, so I decided to get a loft bed with a desk underneath in order to save room. For those who don't know, a loft bed is like a bunk bed, minus the bottom bunk.
I didn't have a railing on one side because it makes changing sheets so much easier, and who fal... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1356965131 | 1357107061 | null | t5_2to41 | 258 | chaosharmonic: TIFU by utterly failing to keep calm and carry on after finding a friend on gonewild
So there's this girl I'd been talking to. Now, it's not like I was looking to get with her or anything - I have a gf and had no intention of anything beyond Portal and Super Smash Bros. I was completely content with the ... | 16 | 16.125 | |
1356967086 | 1357053050 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | Harry_B_C_Dresden: TIFU by putting a Redbox movie in a locked mailbox. Bye bye $24.
I haven't used Netflix DVDs for years, but on my way to work this morning my brain stopped working as I passed an official, locked outgoing U.S. Mailbox.
Brain: "Hey, there's a mailbox. You should go ahead and drop that *Netflix* ... | 3 | 12 | |
1356935236 | 1357147142 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Garewolf: TIFU by going to work.
I was running a bit late and the one time law enforcement is out and about I get cited for a $114 ticket for trying to get to work on time. Bear in mind the road I take is always lacking any cops, let alone state troopers, so it's normal for anyone to be doing 60-65.
Fuck you, Walmart.
... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1356930415 | 1356983374 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by yelling when i saw a spider
First let me give you some back ground. My family's basement flooded (where my room is) so i have been staying at a friends house for the past 3 days instead of having to share my little brothers' room. I am 13 and didn't want to live in a room with three 4yr. olds. Also, ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1356975207 | 1357034102 | null | t5_2to41 | 536 | omelettegod: TIFU by blacking out mid shit and making my dad think I had died
Ok so it had been a bit of a heavy session at my friend's party earlier that night and I don't stumble home until around 4:30 am. I'm pretty impressed that I've made it through the night thus far without any major incidents but I decide that ... | 8 | 67 | |
1356924057 | 1356988949 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | jake1413: TIFU by making a pipe avalanche at work.
So I work in a hardware store and was told I had to stock the 10 foot long sections of PVC pipe (long, white, plastic, hollow pipe) that was in the back aisle of the plumbing department. The PVC is stacked up on top of itself pretty high and there are a few industrial... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1356988443 | 1357021003 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | ReddityDoopity: TIFU by passing out for an hour durring a shit and throwing up wine all over the bathroom and making my friends mom try to kick the door down to save me
I chugged wine. Then I passed out and threw up in my phased state. not fun
phalanx94: MRW I wake up after those kind of nights http://i.imgur.com/RjCjH... | 3 | 5 | |
1356973376 | 1357075283 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | [deleted]: TIFU by using my boyfriend's vibrating toothbrush to get off.
My jack rabbit toy broke a couple weeks ago and I've been sexually frustrated since then. Today I got exceptionally frisky and decided to just go for it. After a shower of shame, I have decided to just apologize and tell him when he gets home. I ... | 4 | 18.25 | |
1356982315 | 1356995063 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | Imujas: TIFU - need advice
I didn't know where to post this so I picked TIFU on Reddit
So I had an amazing bf who would do almost anything for me until I ruined it by lying about something that happened in my past to spare his feelings. In the end he found out and I hurt him a lot anyways. I am so depressed I can't ea... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1356991645 | 1357524763 | null | t5_2to41 | 437 | canipaybycheck: [Announcement] Fuck-Up of the Year Winners!
We've had a wonderful 9 months here at /r/tifu. We've become one of the best subreddits out there, and it's all thanks to you, the readers and posters who are so prone to fuck ups. Everyone give a big thanks to /u/kinda_alone for creating /r/tifu and making it... | 6 | 72.833333 | |
1357004940 | 1357067552 | null | t5_2to41 | 218 | gabrieloratorian: TIFU by wasting the good surprise on myself.
I just arrived at my best friend surprise birthday party/new years soirée and everyone fucking hates me. I walked in about 45 minutes later than everyone else and didn't really think it was necessary for me to call anyone about my late presence. I'm walkin... | 4 | 54.5 | |
1356999087 | 1357074886 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | a_wet_shit: TIFU by resetting the counter (shit myself)
So, during the winter I shovel snow at commercial buildings. I was doing just this today, well someone had the bright idea to have lunch at taco bell. Bad idea, gave me the farts all afternoon, until the one fart with a surprise ending. I managed to pinch it off j... | 4 | 15.25 | |
1357015980 | 1357161986 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my friends cute older brother and his cute friends see me (almost) naked
First let me give you some back ground. My family's basement flooded (where my room is) so i have been staying at a friends house for the past 3 days instead of having to share my little brothers' room. I am 13 and didn'... | 7 | 1.428571 | |
1357025962 | 1357052952 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | Cherucho: So I'm at a friend's new years party
So basically. It's new years. Yay! I went out for the first time. I'm 20 and my folks let me go to my friend's house party which ended up being a total disaster due to someone inviting high school kids. Okay so after new years I'm looking for poon meanwhile carefully makin... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1357029689 | 1363137887 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | purekhaos: TIFU by shitting myself. During a Toast.
My girlfriend and I were making toasts not more than half an hour ago. She toasted to "Ass Burps" and promptly farted. I figured I would go along with it, and did my best to force some gas. I shat. Liquid. Everywhere. On our sofa. She laughed. I cried. So I am sittin... | 8 | 7.625 | |
1357007035 | 1357145941 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | piphanson: TIFU Taking An Apple For Granted
TIFU trying to eat an apple. It was a crisp and firm apple and I began the initial bite with my hand pressing it against my upper teeth. Suddenly, the apple gave way forcing my hand upwards with a simultaneous crunch and punch to my nose. To everyone else, I was in a fight... | 3 | 16.333333 | |
1357040100 | 1357075442 | null | t5_2to41 | 398 | dnld: TIFU because I really had to piss and used a knife to try and break into a bathroom.
At work I really had to piss but the bathroom door was closed. I gently knocked and tried the knob, the door was locked. I waited patiently for what seemed like forever. Then I saw another employee wandering about in a holding... | 5 | 79.6 | |
1357049999 | 1357217614 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | koala7: TIFU by getting completely drunken during new year's eve
I'm 22 and I went last night to a fairly new friend on a new year's eve party. It was around 9 pm as I arrived. And it didn't take a long time till 4 of us decided to play a little drinking game. The problem was, that there were only 3 shot glasses, so I ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1357058779 | 1357091197 | null | t5_2to41 | 799 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming sex handcuffs don't need keys.
We had to run across town to get them cut off. She lost circulation in her hands. I had to follow her and keep giving her rum to keep her calm. I mean, they were pink! Why would pink handcuffs be real? WHO DOES THAT?
edit: Because I keep getting asked- They we... | 11 | 72.636364 | |
1357059109 | 1357300319 | null | t5_2to41 | 287 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my best friend (slightly NSF)
Nothing to original, except:
* we are both females
* we are not lesbians
New years and shit. Did some jagerbombs, got excited about how awesome our boobs are and stuff happened.
There's really nothing to do only let this go as a college experience (bee... | 5 | 57.4 | |
1357061082 | 1357096270 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | neanderthalman: TIFU - drank from the wrong mug
No reset, not particularly gross either. Just...painful and stupid.
I was enjoying a slightly cooled coffee this morning when my very pregnant wife woke and asked for a tea. We were at the hospital overnight last night (all ok) and I'm in pretty rough shape.
So I poured... | 3 | 18.333333 | |
1357065885 | 1357083863 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | terminatorxit: TIFU by pissing in my friends parents linen laundry basket while they watched.
I didn't remember it until he told me someone pissed in his parents linen basket. I just have a vague memory of pissing into something I shouldn't have at like 5 AM and someone telling me I was in the wrong room. It was his ... | 4 | 22.5 | |
1357071467 | 1357103216 | null | t5_2to41 | 111 | MrCastleford: TIFU by pouring my heart out to my crush while she was drunk...
...but I didn't know she was drunk. I woke up to a flurry of texts that were full of regret and apologies. I fell asleep the happiest person in the world, and woke up heartbroken.
Oh, and I work with her all the time. So there's that.
Conej... | 3 | 37 | |
1357084481 | 1357086628 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | fattyoncrack: TIFU by breaking the "Seal"
It's December 31st and like many other people my age, I was at a party. This was a great fucking party, I got drunk as shit. This wasn't a problem.
I walked home. Still no problem.
I went inside and avoided my parents like a boss (well, my dad anyways. My mom knew I was going... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1357102728 | 1357160376 | null | t5_2to41 | 132 | Thaat_One_Guy: TIFU by forgetting how to unplug a light
Ok, so the heat in my house is provided by a wood burning stove. Today I was lazy and didn't want to make a fire so I decided to plug in my space heater. Apparently I have too many things plugged into the same power line and when I turned it on, the circuit breake... | 4 | 33 | |
1357098489 | 1357184259 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | n00b_Luke: TIFU because I was screaming gay insults towards people playing counter strike.
First off, let me explain the situation I am living with right now. I have a family friend living with me, he has AIDS, Hep C, and some type of Kidney Cancer, all from homosexual intercourse. He is very poor (can't find a job tha... | 10 | 1.5 | |
1357107101 | 1357175502 | null | t5_2to41 | 317 | WannabeTypist11: TIFU By blowing girl opportunity
I'm a 18 y/o high schooler and my little brother had a laser tag bday party. I was just kinda messing around the whole time talking to these cute staff girls my age. This one I barely talked to was incredibly good looking, like intimidating. Later when the cake just got... | 6 | 52.833333 | |
1357091159 | 1357135059 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU when climbing out of a 2nd story window
at my boyfriend's house. We're up in his room when we hear his mom come home. She is completely crazy about me being in his room with him. We are up in his room panicking on how we are going to get me out of the house without walking downstairs.
After about 20 m... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1357113200 | 1357114765 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by staining sheets that were not my own...twice
Gh0sT07: Explanation is needed.
phalanx94: Very much so, that's what makes this subreddit absolutely astounding.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1357142916 | 1357180697 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | kyatel: TIFU, I took a dump in a bathroom with no toilet paper.
Paiste402: The rules of the bathroom are that if one fails to check that there is sufficient paper beforehand then you must use your shirt instead and have to wear it all day. Sorry man, its the rules.
Meudhros: Thought it was the bathmat or shower curt... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1357143641 | 1357155084 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by puking on a guy I didn't know.
Well, it was New Year's Eve, I'm just now regaining complete consciousness. Anyways, I was at my friend's house and we were just chilllen. Got a couple 4 packs of tallboys, watching Beerfest, passing around the magic herb. Just having a good time. Anyways, his buddy com... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1357161074 | 1357264533 | null | t5_2to41 | 434 | tryingtoo: TIFU by breaking my new year's resolutions. All of them.
1. Go to the gym more often. Went but lasted 10 mins.
2. Eat healthy. Ate pizza for breakfast.
3. Read more. Ended up on reddit.
[deleted]: Honestly, if you went to the gym at all that's good! Start small, build up your endurance at the g... | 10 | 43.4 | |
1357167754 | 1357185761 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | someauthor: TIFU by waving "goodbye" instead of "hello" answering my phone in a morning haze. Lost a job opportunity I'd been waiting for.
rfourb: this doesnt make any sense...
jordan8976: I think OP actually lost the job because (s)he is retarded.
snl07: Oh my god. I'm so sad that I can only give one upvote for this!... | 6 | 3.833333 |
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