start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1357276372 | 1357839625 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU and almost made my ex commit suicide.
So me and my now girlfriend were arguing through text because that's the only way we can get a word in. She starts sending me stuff to the effect of, "You're worthless, a wimp ass, you have a tiny penis". At this point we were basically showing insults at each other... | 7 | 2.428571 | |
1357835332 | 1357841327 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | driftsc: TIFU- Post Office Edition
So I recently was forced to move from my home when it was sold at an auction. I followed all the proper protocols and did the change of address, etc.... I was unemployed. This was in october
Right before this, I applied for a state job, making 42-52 k a year. This was in september.
... | 5 | 1 | |
1357835368 | 1357854177 | null | t5_2to41 | 388 | mzbehavin: TIFU - Called my ex and left MULTIPLE messages after taking Ambien last night
This is EXACTLY why they have those warning labels all over the bottle of Ambien. I had NO idea I had even called him until I looked at my phone this morning and made the horrifying discovery that I called 22 times between the hou... | 6 | 64.666667 | |
1357839207 | 1357840980 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | GRat9717: TIFU: Guessing wrong age on co-workers birthday
I seriously thought he had turned 50 last year, so I guessed he was turning 51. NOPE, 49. Always go lower, they say...so much for being honest an fairly accurate :(
JamesStabsGames: Everybody turns 22 every year, keep that in mind and you're crystal clear. :P
... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1357845746 | 1358467015 | null | t5_2to41 | 356 | AlicetheCoon: TIFU By deleting my Mothers voicemail
My Mother, who is 83, deals with technology as well as any other typical octagenerian - the shit just baffles her. I am in her kitchen and see that she has 41 messages on her voicemail. Wanting to be the good kid, I delete all the opened messages.
Mother is now screa... | 5 | 71.2 | |
1357848163 | 1364591167 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,158 | electromind: TIFU: By pissing on a fly.
Basically, i walk into my work bathroom to drain the vein. I notice a little fly chilling inside the toilet bowl, Im in a stall not a urinel. I busted out my dick as fast as i could, as i was excited i was challenged in a game of accuracy. First hit i nail that fucker dead center... | 9 | 239.777778 | |
1357848260 | 1357901937 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | court12b: TIFU doubling my salary by doing a phone interview while driving
A company was looking at making me their manufacturing engineeer for ~65k,(I make 15/hour as an intern doing the same job) first step was a phone interview. I figured I'd just do it during my leisurely hour+ commute.
Huge mistake. The stress o... | 5 | 11.2 | |
1357853911 | 1357868036 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | BurntWiener: I burned my dick reddit.
[deleted]: Why would you share this with anyone?
levirax: do...do you realize where you are? Internet? Almost total anonymity, and specifically in a subreddit where you share your fuck-ups with your fellow redditors?...Kinda the point of this place. Theres way worse/funny/fucked u... | 3 | 9 | |
1357857335 | 1357923236 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | DestroyxThexBrain: TIFU: Getting ready for "The Rocky Horror Picture Show"
Hell yeah! I got invited to go see one of my favorites, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" with a group of friends at the drafthouse. Everyone was posting in FB events that they were going to dress up as characters and I, being the good sport I am,... | 5 | 9 | |
1357856714 | 1358197878 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | hiddenferret: TIFU by peeing my pants in public and then having to wear them for 8 more hours. I am 18.
I was on a road trip with my friends from my hometown to Chicago, IL. The drive from point A to point B is a total of 16 hours, and after 8 hours we decided to stop at a mall in Wisconsin to go to the washroom. ... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1357856331 | 1357862697 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | mzbehavin: UPDATE - Ambien induced calls and messages.... it gets worse.
[deleted]: Thanks for the TIFUpdate, OP. Chin up!
mzbehavin: Thanks, I will try!
| 3 | 8.333333 | |
1357860549 | 1358079006 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by buying a surround sound system out of the back of a truck.
That's right folks, step right up and hear the tale of the dumbest of all asses. I was on my way home from school and stopped for gas when two gentlemen approached me, both wearing company polos. I tried my best to move on and ignore them. I ... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1357865803 | 1357870163 | null | t5_2to41 | -2 | [deleted]: TIFU and told a substitute teacher to "fight me."
So, to start things off i'm a pretty good student, got great grades and am well rounded. Was in a math class today and we had the most annoying freaking sub. She was about 300 pounds and kept yelling the whole time asking us if we needed help and would random... | 4 | -0.5 | |
1357869057 | 1358122090 | null | t5_2to41 | 77 | vinnie16: TIFU by calling the German language "Hitler"
I was talking to my friend from Germany on Facebook and I said "guten tag". She started to talk German to me as a joke, while she was talking to me I was reading about Hitler and his history. When I went to reply, the word "Hitler" was stuck in my head. So I said "... | 10 | 7.7 | |
1357870397 | 1357916891 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: Tifu: by crushing my balls
So for a little bonus info I'm prone to minor spinal twitches that cause me to cringe in pain (it's from a past injury). So while scratching the good ol' coin purse my spine decided to freak the fuck out causing me to crush my balls in an unholy vice grip for a split second reveali... | 5 | 13 | |
1357872380 | 1357912740 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU: by sticking my hand in piss
**Backstory:** my boyfriend bought me a ring last year. I've been losing weight so the ring is getting loose. So loose to the point where it flies off my hand. I've been meaning to get it fixed but I don't have extra cash to get it resized.
I'm going to the bathroom at wor... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1357877060 | 1358122825 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by jacking off too hard
First, let me give you a little info on my... technique. I'm usually too lazy to get out of bed and get lube or any fancy shit like that, so I retrieve my rag (from below the bed) and, propping my knees up to make a little tent around my legs. Well, last night I was doing just th... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1357869697 | 1357930143 | null | t5_2to41 | 74 | TapPrancer: TIFU by texting the wrong person...again
I have a previous post about texting the wrong person (I'm pretty dumb sometimes, and this happens a lot)
I had just moved in with my flatmate and we had people over for a mini flat warming party, we started out at the pub and ended up back at our flat, everyone was... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1357883132 | 1357946697 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By being a drunk prick
This happened a few weeks ago but I'd really like to get it off my chest. My best friend started hanging out with someone else a lot and to be honest, I was jealous. So when the opportunity arose that we could have a Saturday night together I jumped at the chance. Now I'm not much... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1357893397 | 1357894267 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | AnirD: How I burnt my pee-ejecter with the Bhoot Jolokia
TracyMichaels: Pee-ejector? is that kinda like a penis?
AnirD: Yes....It is a kind of penis, specific to my people
TracyMichaels: Neat!
| 4 | 1.75 | |
1357889313 | 1357928296 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU: by making my FWB have a slipped disc during sex
So yea she was kind in an awkward position and may have went too hard for that position, shes pretty pissed while I can only hope this doesn't stop the activities. I think she'll be cool and be over it when she's not in pain but yea, TIFU.
phalanx94: That... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1357911537 | 1358035564 | null | t5_2to41 | 826 | [deleted]: TIFU pissing in my friends bed... with him in it.
So... I pissed in my friend's bed today... with him in it.
Yep. I'm staying at his house for a couple of days while I try to move into town. I'm 23 years old and I wish I had a valid excuse. Nope. I peed the bed. He was snuggled up right next to me. ...As in... | 7 | 118 | |
1357922864 | 1357951178 | null | t5_2to41 | 403 | [deleted]: TIFU By buying the wrong fiber
Sorry for the length but bear with me.... New Year’s Eve, I was at a friend’s house and I mentioned how my bowels were all messed up and I hadn’t taken a shit in about a week. I’ve read the TIFU about the dude that couldn’t shit and ended up in the hospital so I knew it was beg... | 8 | 50.375 | |
1357916665 | 1357948111 | null | t5_2to41 | 190 | plz600: TIFU by laughing so hard I vomited.
Today was my day off so I decided to have a huge lunch and watch Dara O'briain's new DVD Craic Dealer which my parents got me for Christmas.
It was by far one of the funniest stand up routines I'd seen in years.
So he had just finished his 'Explaining modern technology to L... | 4 | 47.5 | |
1357914594 | 1358311541 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | tripsyfag: TIFU by letting my grandma borrow my copy of 50 Shades of Grey
A few months ago, I decided to read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy just for the hell of it. I thought it was hot as hell.(Aside from being overly cliche and unrealistic in some parts) My boyfriend mentioned something about 'borrowing the book for ... | 6 | 10.833333 | |
1357928383 | 1358003060 | null | t5_2to41 | 583 | RD_Is_Best_Pony: TIFU by using shampoo as lube
Title says it all. I got a bit randy during my morning scrub, and as you know, water makes a terrible lubricant. I decided to use some slippery shampoo to increase pleasure, and I got so into it that a sinister wayward drop found it's way into my urethra. Needless to say, ... | 13 | 44.846154 | |
1357921020 | 1357957097 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | Illpackallama: TIFU by trying to fly on an airplane.
So yeah, as the title says I'm at the airport, and due to shitty circumstances and me being a temporary idiot, I'm stuck here for another 3 or so hours and I'm bored out of my mind and its been a cluster fuck since he start. Let me tell you all how this day has been ... | 5 | 12.6 | |
1357936835 | 1357946219 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | swearimnotarapist: TIFU - Probably scared off a promising girl
My latest FU is probably pretty tame compared to many here (read: no shitting involved), but still I feel like I need to get this off my chest. I apologize for the wall of text--this kind of got away from me, and believe it or not, I actually trimmed stuff... | 6 | 1.5 | |
1357940786 | 1358057948 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by dropping my best friends new Ipad
I'm an idiot. Hes taking it very well despite the circumstances.
phartnocker: My son dropped our Ipad about 3 days after we got it (from Target). I carefully packaged it back up, took it back to Target and asked them "What is the meaning of you guys selling me a brok... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1357943816 | 1357981378 | null | t5_2to41 | 145 | [deleted]: TIFU By not using the facilities before work
So I posted earlier… [TIFU By buying the wrong fiber] (http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/16dwx3/tifu_by_buying_the_wrong_fiber/).
In that post, I shared a tidbit that I once shat myself on a commuter train. The story was requested, and forgive the lack of cr... | 7 | 20.714286 | |
1357947530 | 1357989643 | null | t5_2to41 | 114 | alltheproteins: TIFU by trying to suck my own dick.
I ended up tearing a muscle in my neck. Doctor said to rest for a few weeks without bending the neck too much.
Never again.
Muffinizer1: I am one of the lucky ones... A bit of pre stretching and there's no pain.
[deleted]: you should write a tutorial... you know...fo... | 4 | 28.5 | |
1357936653 | 1358316191 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | AnirD: TIFU How I burnt my pee-ejecter with the Bhoot Jolokia (reposting as i forgot to put TIFU in the title)
In my part of the country (India), we have this chilli called the Bhoot Jolokia (or Ghost Pepper if you will). This is the hottest chilli in the world....It clocks in at more than a million scovilles (Check yo... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1357946806 | 1358132653 | null | t5_2to41 | 198 | OrwellsSpaceship: TIFU by picking the wrong time to masturbate
So it's a typical Friday on January term, it's 1pm, I'm done with classes for the day, and i'm in my room by myself. My roommate usually doesn't come into the room until 5 pm or 12am, because ya know, social shit. So I'm just paroozin on reddit when I go "h... | 8 | 24.75 | |
1357952239 | 1358015019 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by writing a paper so hard that I shit myself
So, I put off writing a paper, and I had to submit it electronically by midnight. This is the third goddamn paper I have had to write this week, the first week of the quarter.
I had three hours and three pages to go. Pretty soon, because reddit, I had two ... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1357959033 | 1358002866 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | ihasthegame: Saw my middle school crush for the first time in six years at a store...I fucked up pretty badly.
FartButton: My middle school crush wrote a best selling book that is soon to be made into a movie.
ihasthegame: I can't tell if you're serious or referencing How I Met Your Mother.
FartButton: I'm actually c... | 8 | 10 | |
1357964791 | 1358006637 | t3_16f38u | t5_2to41 | 8 | LaneToTheMax: Because my father said I was too old to shit myself, and I ruined the teacher's bathroom.
rand0mname: well you didn't actualy ,,ruined " beacuse bathroom's are cleaned by a janitor anyway
LaneToTheMax: Excuse me, I meant babysitter. There was a bathroom for us, and her personal bathroom. I ruined hers.
ra... | 4 | 2 | |
1357957050 | 1358271302 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | eman462: TIFU by drinking Red Bull
I have a problem of being completely exhausted during school (due to limited sleep). It gets to the point of me dozing off in class and missing important info. So I make the wonderful decision to buy myself a Red Bull before school and drink it. The deed was done and things seemed pre... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1357991047 | 1358037388 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,165 | frikalika: TIFU by wearing a $5 bikini top from the Kmart bargain box in fairly heavy surf
I don't often go to the beach, and when I do I usually cover up due to my pale sensitive skin (thanks, Irish and Scottish heritage). So I haven't bothered to invest in a quality swimsuit. But this was a super hot day and we went ... | 8 | 145.625 | |
1357997744 | 1358297722 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,058 | ihasthegame: TIFU after seeing my middle school crush for the first time in six years. (reposted due to incorrect title)
So I'm at work. And I'm strolling through my department like I always am. Greeting customers, offering to help, showing them where that one thing they are looking for is. When I see her. Talking on t... | 11 | 96.181818 | |
1357972462 | 1358021632 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | nuttugger: TIFU by driving through a puddle of rotten, stagnant, food-waste water.
well the back gates to my neighborhood get locked at 12 and I forgot what time it was and when I got there I had to turn around and go to the other gate. I didn't feel like going back out to the main road so I decided to cut through a p... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1358019468 | 1358044032 | t3_16g4tu | t5_2to41 | 33 | tehosiris: you do realize that is phisically / biologically impossible?
anal-razor: op lies?
timetraveler1912: It is better to lie than to have an anal razor.
anal-razor: don't knock it till you try it!
timetraveler1912: That means you actually tried it, doesn't it?
anal-razor: i bet you'd like to know.
timetraveler19... | 19 | 1.736842 | |
1358051627 | 1358104060 | t3_16gazq | t5_2to41 | -121 | YouSmellOfButterfly: Go to hell.
[deleted]: I'm not gay, bro.
YouSmellOfButterfly: Obviously.
Go fuck yourself.
[deleted]: Lol u mad
YouSmellOfButterfly: are you 12?
[deleted]: No, 20.
YouSmellOfButterfly: Act like it.
[deleted]: Oh, I do in real life. But this is reddit where I like to unwind.
YouSmellOfButterfly: So... | 10 | -12.1 | |
1358021053 | 1358055515 | null | t5_2to41 | 751 | donutsnbacon: TIFU by dumping a 24oz. beer over an 8 yr. old girls head.
Was at a college basketball game. Had been pre-gaming with beers at friends house before. A little tipsy. Got to game. Bought biggest beer they had. Sat down in seat.
Put beer b/w my knees to take off my jacket. Beer started to slip down. My ... | 7 | 107.285714 | |
1358041308 | 1358386802 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | CreamWafers: TIFU by letting a cat pee in my ballet shoes.
For starters, I am a hardcore ballet student staying at a friend's house while my parents are out of town so as not to miss class (yes, I am a baby who is too young to drive). I had a brand new pair of ballet shoes that needed to be sewn for class the next day... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1358042591 | 1358043664 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my crush I wanted more then to be just friends....
So... I'm currently quite(highly) intoxicated (legal age) and I just told my crush that I wanted to be more then to be just friends... after ~6-9 beers (I stop counting at 1 :P )
Big mistake... I shouldn't have tweeted to her while highly i... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1358040438 | 1358046983 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | FuzzyMaverick: TIFU by calling my drum major an orc...........
let me start by saying that this has happened with the most kindest intentions...
Well my drum major was looking up costumes for next year's marching show ( which is Lord Of The Rings... winning) and was talking about it on Facebook. So being the funny gu... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1358046954 | 1358113296 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,191 | iamarealgrossgal: TIFU By trimming off a piece of my labia before a date.
Title says it all. Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I was trimming my pubic hair before a date on the offchance that I might get laid. I got a little careless and trimmed off a piece of my labia. Just a snip, and a nice chunk of my labia minora wa... | 14 | 85.071429 | |
1358041957 | 1358049535 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Smones: TIFU by spilling a bowl of cereal all over myself and my cat
So this morning I followed my usual schedule by grabbing a bowl of granola with soy milk and trudging on over to the couch to watch some tv. I look over and my 17 pound, monster of a [cat](http://imgur.com/djzJn.jpg), Obie, is just chillin there look... | 4 | 6 | |
1358045463 | 1358319298 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | Ottermuffin: TIFU by trying to make snow.
It was -25 here in Canada tonight, and since I had my family over, I decided that now would be the best time to show them exactly how boiling water changes to snow/vapour when thrown into the air. Needless to say, I boiled the water, and instead of pouring it into a cup or anyt... | 4 | 19.75 | |
1358050795 | 1358114607 | null | t5_2to41 | 154 | warpaint: TIFU by fiddling around with a bolt-thingy on a shelf at walmart then having the entire display fall over. There was lots of glasswear on it and I must have ruined around $500~ in merchandise.
Ran out like a nigga hittin n runnin.
Meudhros: I love you.
warpaint: i luve u
zitfarmer: I love shoes.
edkisin: I ... | 7 | 22 | |
1358056715 | 1358215917 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | tyrannasaurusex: TIFU by forgetting to put the sesame seeds on the sesame chicken.
Seriously, wtf. Its like the easiest part of my job. And also the most obvious.
BanksCarlton: Dinosaurs aren't suppose to cook their food. It's just society man. Society is a problem maan.
darkplumb90: Donny, you are out of your elemen... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1358030590 | 1358133892 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by bleeding on my best friends carpet.
So the other day I was staying at my best friends place, and she was out for a few hours. I decided to take a shower while she was out. I take my shower, and all is well as I start to dry myself off. All of a sudden, I realize I have rather large gash on my leg. I ... | 4 | 1 | |
1358061174 | 1358128887 | null | t5_2to41 | 123 | [deleted]: TIFU by not playing COD with a friend
Well, kind of a "Yesterday and Today I Fucked Up", but regardless.
So, I am given a choice of hanging out with my friend, playing COD, and getting drunk or going to a PJ party with another friend, getting drunk, and seeing how the night goes. I tell her I'd really rathe... | 11 | 11.181818 | |
1358073032 | 1358218768 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,066 | lilgrizz: TIFU By Shiting myself at a job interview.
I arrive at walmart around 8:00 A.M. for my job interview. Everything was going perfect so far, which never happen's. I only had to wait 15 minutes before being called to the manager's office for my interview. I had already answerd five or six questions when i felt a... | 9 | 118.444444 | |
1358076497 | 1358127681 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: Today I fucked up by sending an ass photo of my ex to my roommates(female) Boyfriend.
I drunkenly(still drunk) sent an ass photo of one of my exes to my female roommates boyfriend whom I've known since fourth grade.
She got pissed and is still pissed with me. Any advice TIFU?
[deleted]: Can't help until you... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1358097595 | 1358107037 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | djeinstine: TIFU by running a red and driving on the wrong side of the road
It was after the club and I was in a part of the state that I was unfamiliar with I wasn't drunk as I was the designated driver. My buddy was the navigator because he was the one with the gps. He was fairly tipsy and nothing he was saying made ... | 3 | 3 | |
1358102689 | 1358242045 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | Catfish9200: TIFU By inviting my neighbor to a party
I'm going to tell you the story of how my neighbor almost died at my party by drinking way too much alcohol. We were outside having a smoke and he starts being an asshole toward my female friends, he tried kissing them and hugging them and they got really uncomfortab... | 6 | 11.333333 | |
1358109117 | 1358908443 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | squitchtweak: TIFU by implying Hitler was fantastic
Okay, this wasn't actually today but last Friday.
I'm a student and someone asked me what our lecturer's accent is. I replied that I think he's German. Then on Friday, the same guy tells me that he found out the lecturer is actually Austrian. I was thinking that all ... | 12 | 2.916667 | |
1358155131 | 1358209052 | t3_16ighu | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: Close, but you aren't there yet...
[deleted]: It's a fucking hard word to spell.
CapersandCheese: I know, I wish there was a way to see if a word was spelled correctly as you were typing.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1358089521 | 1358127239 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a wank after eating wasabi peas.
Title says it all.
I was peckish, had some wasabi peas to eat, my hand covered in the spicy stuff. Went to bed without washing my hands, and it burned like 100 torches touching my penis.
viilup: You *did* finish the wank before you actually did anything about ... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1358117700 | 1358133943 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | [deleted]: TIFU by completely accidentally ignoring HUGE sexual hints from 3 girls at Wal-Mart...They couldn't have made it much more obvious.
So, today is the last day of winter break for most college students in my area, and I'm in Wal-Mart picking up some supplies for school. In the isle with all the notebooks and b... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1358131096 | 1358182646 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU as usual
I let my wife be on top.
Kittysnape: Sorry to ask but why would that be a fuck up?
My imagination can run a few but I guess it would be funnier if I let you explain.
skatterbug: [kittysnape](http://mlkshk.com/r/2KNX)
| 3 | 1 | |
1358139553 | 1358178326 | null | t5_2to41 | 858 | redette1117: TIFU by falling out of a moving vehicle. While vomiting.
This morning, my fiance and I woke up still drunk and really late for a wedding planning meeting we had waited about two months to get and which would be a huge pain in the ass to miss.
We left in a huge hurry to try and make the meeting, and as he... | 7 | 122.571429 | |
1358136633 | 1358187316 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | tinga14: TIFU by misinterpreting an invitation to a dance by a girl and saying yes to the invitation carrier, her dog.
Today I got a message from my friend (her name is Emily) asking me to come hang with her and another one of my friends at their house, so naturally I said yeah and left for her house at 6:30 in the eve... | 3 | 12 | |
1358151929 | 1358415717 | null | t5_2to41 | 149 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating too much.
I tried a new way at jacking off and i really liked it so i decided to try again a few minutes later, it worked again and oddly at the end i was still hard so i did it again. By now im not cumming anymore just dry orgasms. I do this for the next hour and it feels great. Now my ... | 18 | 8.277778 | |
1358155111 | 1358424646 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | sonicx2218: TIFU By falling in an open grave
I ran track in High School and run with friends as a recreational activity. I'll get right to the point. There's this cemetery that my friends both love and loathe. It's not your ordinary cemetery; it's huge and hilly with various ponds and such scattered. It's a very tiring... | 4 | 22.75 | |
1358166682 | 1358199856 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | EvilGrandpa: TIFU by dumping a tray of ice-waters on a beautiful woman at work
I'm a waiter, and accidentally spilled a large tray filled with 14-15 glasses of ice-water onto a customer (hot 30-something year old)... oh man it was not cool. Never again will I lose my balance with those damned trays...
Bonus: She was w... | 8 | 13 | |
1358186211 | 1358215778 | null | t5_2to41 | 556 | [deleted]: TIFU by making my boss scream and fall over
Today reddit I fucked up. I fucked up good. This morning at work I was waiting for a coworker so we could walk to a meeting together when I, being the clever guy I am thought it'd be a good idea to hide behind a corner just next to her office and wait for said fri... | 8 | 69.5 | |
1358186855 | 1358253995 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | kyatel: TIFU when I left my wallet at the house of a sado-masichist.
We met online and talked for two days. Decides to meet up at a bar on the third. I went back to his place afterwards got more drinks and movies. Turned into sexy time. Turned out he was into pain, giving and receiving. I'd never done that before and ... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1358204268 | 1358213824 | null | t5_2to41 | 138 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling an ugly girl I fuck animals
To clarify beforehand: I do not fuck animals.
So, there's this girl at school who's... Well, unattractive. In many ways. Not just on the outside, the inside, and in more ways than physical beauty. I could go on and on about her remarkable attractiveness. (Suffice ... | 4 | 34.5 | |
1358205067 | 1358280201 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | mulvahlok: TIFU by getting out the "Man Tools" and attempting to fix my GF's iPhone screen in the urge to gain Brownie Points
Basically, I destroyed her phone. Ruined the conductor for the aerial, now she doesn't get a signal and I blunted all but 2 two screws, so it will most likely cost a lot more to get it fixed.
I... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1358217360 | 1358269115 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,264 | beboshoulddie: TIFU by writing an essay on fat rights
*BACKSTORY: A while ago, my English teacher assigned everyone a discursive essay on a topic of our choosing. I decided I would do gay rights, being gay and all. It was the day before it was due and so I rushed it all and, more importantly, didn't check over it.*
--... | 8 | 158 | |
1358216212 | 1358289742 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | Daxtotomor: TIFU by Inhaling Water Flavouring
So I was getting a water bottle this morning and I had some crystal light. (For those of you that don't know what crystal light is, it is a powder you put in your water to make it taste amazing) So I was quite tired and forgot to pour some water out of the bottle so it woul... | 5 | 11 | |
1358222316 | 1358319699 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | magicalbladder: TIFU by overestimating my bladder
Let me start off by saying your bladder is a precious thing, a precious thing that should NOT be ignored. You see Reddit today I fucked up, I ignored my bladder. It started at the beginning of the day when I ignored the urge to take a morning dribble. This however is no... | 5 | 10.8 | |
1358225470 | 1358374166 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | jedispyder: TIFU by going on an egg salad sandwich lunch obsession for a couple of months
I'm working on losing weight and decided to change to a healthier choice of lunch by eating egg salad sandwiches with lot of spinach instead of other unhealthy choices. I had been going to the doctor and getting blood work done an... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1358227646 | 1358232887 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | JoseTheSkater: TIFU by accidentally calling a chubby guy fat.
We where talking in class and this girl who was with us said, "you should shave your head, than you could be my Buddha". Without thinking I said, "I thought Buddha wasn't far. Cue awkward silence. I still feel terrible.
Kurfuffler: *wasn't fat. That's kind o... | 3 | 3 | |
1358234292 | 1358287586 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU up by going for a drive in the mountains with a sinus infection.
Yup. Now my ear is clogged and will not pop. It's 2:14 A.M. and I can't sleep cuz of it. I've had a sinus infection these past few days, but felt over it this morning. It was extra nice this morning and I wanted to get out of the house. S... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1358225678 | 1358244100 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | CaptainSteele: TIFU by letting a gorgeous girl go without making any moves
So I'm working a menial fast-food job in the drive-thru when a black escalade with about 7 people (latinos) inside pull up. Now the driver's window is down but the back seat window behind him is down also, At first I though I recognized her, bu... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1358262554 | 1358394179 | null | t5_2to41 | 720 | spf19: TIFU by destroying a chair with my enormity, in front of the board of directors of a bank
I work as a network security consultant. I am "a large human" (25 stones/350lbs/160kg).
Account manager and I are called to a bank to consult with their board of directors about the state of their IT -- the gov't has thre... | 7 | 102.857143 | |
1358269623 | 1359947569 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | sunshine_and_dreads: TIFU by getting an allergic reaction to pussy on my pussy
My lady has cats and dogs in her house. She keeps a grumpy old cat in her room to keep him from fighting with the others. I am very allergic to cats and will break out in hives from skin contact. *Cue in the sexy times with my lady and her b... | 5 | 6.8 | |
1358278098 | 1358371950 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | 3d12: TIFU and got white-van scammed
Contrary to the other tales I've heard on here, this one did not involve a van.
I bought a pair of Koss SX-30 speakers from woot.com a few days ago. They arrived today, and I was so excited to try them out that I went out and bought a 6V DC adapter like it said, plugged it in, turn... | 8 | 2.125 | |
1358278874 | 1358636389 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a teacher yell and chase me down a hallway.
Well, it was about 7:10am and I was going to my locker. So I'm going down the hallway I usually go down, noise canceling earbuds on (they're very good at canceling out noise), just going about my usual routine.
So I get to my locker and I get tapped... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1358280577 | 1358304135 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | BellsMcDells: TIFU: by not sleeping enough last night.
well kinda.. i was falling asleep in my history class (which i sit in the front row during) so anyway, i snap my head up just enough to move my desk ever so slightly which made a sound exactly like i ripped one right in the middle of learning the crittenden comprom... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1358284649 | 1358343191 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | trainconfession00: TIFU by getting caught short on a train..
I was taking a train home after playing football (near London, England). I had been feeling ill all day and my stomach was hurting on the train. Towards the end of the journey (4 stops from home) I had the unmistakable feeling that I was about to shit myself.... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1358287477 | 1358380981 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,544 | Childwood: TIFU by bullying a 5 year old.
I have a younger sister (5) who plays with all the other children who live on our street, they range from 3-10 years old.
So my sister comes inside from playing, she's now crying and after being calmed down, begins to explain that one of the children, Olivia (5), was being m... | 10 | 154.4 | |
1358290638 | 1358310310 | null | t5_2to41 | 177 | desenagrator: TIFU by spraying Liquid Ass in a Port-O-Potty
Well, it was really Sunday and not today, but it's still a fuck up. Ok so me and some friends were going to this concert on Sunday where they had a lot different bands and stuff. So about a year ago, I bought this stuff called [Liquid Ass](http://www.amazon.co... | 6 | 29.5 | |
1358295417 | 1358346453 | null | t5_2to41 | 240 | the_spatzman: TIFU by accidentally texting the most attractive girl at my school "prepare your anus." then got a noise disturbance citation from the police.
So at my school there is a very attractive girl, she's an exchange student from Portugal named Mari. Exotic, tan and a cute accent. A week ago I happened by her nu... | 7 | 34.285714 | |
1358300046 | 1358454735 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | novanerd: TIFU... A lot
I'm not going to elaborate because I don't even know how to. Pretty much, I totaled my car, my parents found out about my marijuana use, and I broke up with my girlfriend in 1 hour. Oh, and I also became the biggest joke in school over my Minecraft playing.
TL;DR I really fucked up everything g... | 15 | 7.066667 | |
1358307655 | 1358310474 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | whydididothathnghh: TIFU by telling my interviewees that I did drugs.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I am stupid. But to elaborate more on this I accidentally slipped up and they gave me the stink eye. I don't expect them to call me back.
ChaosThirteen: Chalk it up to experience, and find another place. Chances are ... | 10 | 3.4 | |
1358314610 | 1358358670 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU Does the FBI/RCMP monitor reddit searches?
Hi everyone, im new to reddit and made a stupid mistake tonight. I was reading some post earlier about a guy who reported CP on a music download file and now he is being treated like an offender. I tried to research the thread on my phone and searched 'CP' in t... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1358320981 | 1358361283 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Tomawar40: TIFU By punching my sister in the face.
We have a puppy and are teaching him not to growl, and he gets corrected if he does growl. Sister was playing with the puppy and he started growling. She wasn't correcting him and he got more and more aggressive, so I told her to "drop the puppy and move out of the way... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1358330224 | 1358353034 | null | t5_2to41 | 185 | AnnoyingFaecbookGirl: TIFU by joking about a papercut.
Last night, one of my best female friends confided in me that she has depression and sometimes self harms. However, at the time (it was over IM) I was busy doing other things and i was *insanely* tired, so basically I was reading it but literally not comprehending ... | 4 | 46.25 | |
1358340925 | 1358366464 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | Rzodkiew: TIFU by not listening to advice
I cooked bacon naked.
kanliot: downvote for not being funny
rfourb: same for you
mablake184: And upvote for you.
Childwood: I hit the random button and subsequently downvoted and then upvoted the first two things I saw.
That's how this thing works right?
mablake184: I mean th... | 7 | 1.714286 | |
1358354905 | 1358371533 | null | t5_2to41 | 151 | Sanderf90: TIFU by trying to run back up on escalators.
I just arrived at my homecountry again after spending over a month abroad. There was a six-hour difference and I was really tired after staying up for over 24 hours. I had to buy a train ticket to get home. I was holding a book I had read on my way back and decide... | 10 | 15.1 | |
1358360176 | 1358482310 | null | t5_2to41 | 74 | trippysmurf: TIFU by complaining about an Autistic boy at Christmas Eve
So not exactly today, but I just discovered this subreddit and have been feeling guilty about this for a month (I'm Jewish and get the guilt bad).
For over 10 years, I always celebrate Buena Noche (Christmas Eve) with my best friend and his family... | 8 | 9.25 | |
1358369774 | 1358529392 | null | t5_2to41 | 615 | taylordesoto: TIFU by showing my two friends and coworkers my thigh tattoo in the bathroom at work.
I just recently got a tattoo on my thigh, and I was wearing jeans at work. My two buddies that I work with told me to show them my tattoo in the bathroom. One of my friends is recording the scene because he thinks it'... | 13 | 47.307692 | |
1358388587 | 1358540074 | null | t5_2to41 | 209 | CottageCheesePlease: TIFU by having an erection at the gym
I was at the gym this morning during my the time I normally go. I start using a [lateral deltoid machine](http://www.fitnessscape.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000002/body-power-186-deltoid-machine-m.jpg) that happens to be facing all the treadmills and running equi... | 7 | 29.857143 | |
1358390426 | 1358827155 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by ending up in a tree
Well it's parent teacher confrences today and those are always a joy...
It's been a problem all year, I've been not getting as good grades, I blame reddit, but also my class load has increased. That stresses my parents out a ton but it doesn't bother me, I'm still where I want t... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1358401601 | 1358402859 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | FaceToDesk: TIFU by accidentally insinuating that I was going to marry a classmate
Actually happened last week, but it was the first day of class and the professor was checking attendance. I have a really common last name and in this class a girl before me on the roll had the same last name. When the professor called m... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1358402935 | 1358467181 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | trouphaz: TIFU trying to drive to my hometown to buy gas.
So, today I fucked up. I was coming home from visiting my father in the hospital and my gas light went on. I was right near the highway where I could've made it home on the remaining gas, but decided that I may as well get some locally. So, instead of jumping... | 7 | 4 |
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