start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1416493968 | 1416589854 | t3_2mvmcg | t5_2to41 | 1,468 | Vegasvash: TIFU by going to the grocery store with my GF.
One hand typing this so apologize for errors in advance.
TIFU by going to the grocery store with my GF. Right after we got out of the car, I saw a lady who was coming out of the store get her purse snatched by some young punk. Nobody else was moving, and he w... | 12 | 122.333333 | |
1416502207 | 1416591471 | t3_2mvoe7 | t5_2to41 | 4 | fuckingyouintheass: The bike lock. The clothes. Thats says you are smoking too much.
Dargaro: Always easy to point a finger when it isn't you. ADHD causes memory issues as well. I won't say you're wrong with your assumption. Just that it's a pretty critical assumption.
Look up what ADD and ADHD stands for and you mig... | 4 | 1 | |
1416469772 | 1416503440 | t3_2mux94 | t5_2to41 | 8 | account2014: TIFU acting like I was shoplifting
I went to the mall and bought myself a brand new backpack. I decided to buy one that would be the nicest backpacks I've ever owned. The fact that I went in with my old backpack and came out with two would be an important detail later on in the story.
I then see a Sports ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1416497133 | 1416573765 | t3_2mvrf7 | t5_2to41 | 110 | demhandz81: TIFU by kicking yellow snow.
At work. On my lunch break so I'm walking to the store to pick up a shitty frozen burrito or whatever. I work at a ski resort so right now there is tons of snow around me. And dogs.
In the middle of the walkway was a giant clump of snow that a dog pissed on. I decided to kick ... | 6 | 18.333333 | |
1416447559 | 1416783393 | t3_2mtz0p | t5_2to41 | 6 | cosmicthunder420: TIFU by picking up trash.
So I was on my way home from work pulling into my driveway when I noticed an open bag of trash littering the street adjacent to my house from the wind blowing it around so I went inside and got a trash bag and went out to pick it up. It's all good until I get to the main pile... | 3 | 2 | |
1416500139 | 1416761245 | t3_2mvwul | t5_2to41 | 3 | Chefilein: TIFU by not engaging the cutest girl in the world
keepcalmandbecalm: You did not TIFU as such!Tomorrow is another opportunity.
Chefilein: Well i hope but i don´t think i will see her again
keepcalmandbecalm: But you shared a moment that will last to the end.
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1416500830 | 1416506777 | t3_2mvy6d | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by attempting to sacrifice my girlfriend to a spider
This all happened when Lost had (finally) aired it's final episode. May 23rd.
My girlfriend (let's name her...May and I decided to shower together, nothing out of the ordinary. While showering, we decided to play around a bit. While in the passion o... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1416498738 | 1416523945 | t3_2mvua6 | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by being accidentally racist
So this happened less than 5 minutes ago. To start off I should tell you I work at a methadone clinic. Secondly I should mention for those of you that don't know, methadone is sometimes dispensed as a red liquid instead of a traditional capsule. That's definitely important. ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1416501501 | 1416507961 | t3_2mvziy | t5_2to41 | 5 | pumper911: TIFU by mixing up "for" and "from"
This morning, I was Facebook chatting with my wife. She brought up a gift idea for my sister for her birthday, which was extremely personal and sentimental. I'm at work and was in a rush to respond back before I moved on to my work tasks so I wrote "that was very thoughtful... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1416502914 | 1416515362 | t3_2mw29i | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU by mistaking fruit snacks for a condom
Last night I was Skyping with my entire family (Mom, Dad and Sister) after a long day at work. I recently moved to Florida and we have been keeping connected as a family by video chatting. After talking for a while my mother said that she had something to show me.
... | 3 | 17.666667 | |
1416500668 | 1416520255 | t3_2mvxuy | t5_2to41 | 7 | OfficeVampireVictim: TIFU a big presentation by bleeding profusely
Not technically today, this happened a few months ago.
At the time I was working in digital media. Thankfully this meant we had a fairly relaxed, start-up-esque office environment, and I could wear a t-shirt and jeans to work most days. I also could ge... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1416502305 | 1416509449 | t3_2mw12b | t5_2to41 | 7 | LaDarkPhoenix: TIFU by pulling on my baby sister
Apparently I was babysitting my 1 year old sister and she tried to climb the table, which of course is very dangerous, so I rushed to get her down and I took her by the arms and putted her down, after 5 seconds she immediately started crying and I had no idea why, so I j... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1416503229 | 1416544917 | t3_2mw2vw | t5_2to41 | 830 | dsmithjr52: TIFU by accidentally telling my fiancee's mother that she could go f**k herself.
So me and my soon-to-be mother-in-law have a... contentious relationship, to say the least (her mom is a little bit on the crazy side and we started off on the wrong foot. Bad first impression that she never let go 5 years late... | 9 | 92.222222 | |
1416506306 | 1416524908 | t3_2mw939 | t5_2to41 | 40 | j4ckxandxj1ll: TIFU by geting caught hacking the wifi that had capped data...
So here goes... i'm confined to my room, and R250 poorer.
I am a guy of many talents, and our neighbour has wifi. His family left for Germany, and only he stayed at home. I decided that their data bundle will run out before they come back, s... | 4 | 10 | |
1416506844 | 1416628207 | t3_2mwa6o | t5_2to41 | 7 | iNoToRi0uS: TIFU By using Windows 8
Looks like I will be failing this semester in college.
4 Months ago in July, I was browsing for a laptop for college. I wanted a nice modern one for taking notes. All of the newer laptops come with windows 8.
At the time, this wasn't a big deal for me. I heard great things abou... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1416508786 | 1416518431 | t3_2mwdyu | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking my new dog was potty trained.
I have a large dog named Sammy. She is a lab mix. We just got a small yappy type dog who was not potty trained. She was leaving presents under the Dining room table for us to find. Well, 3 weeks ago the poop presents stopped. Yay, I thought, she is finally poop... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1416505890 | 1416511197 | t3_2mw8b4 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my boss's dead dog
I was newer to NYC and my boss at the time asked me to dog sit their two dogs while they were away over Memorial Day weekend. I went to check up on the dogs on the Sunday evening and one of the dogs (a bigger lab) was dead! I didn't want to ruin my boss's weekend so I thou... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1416510093 | 1416520119 | t3_2mwgjo | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by not storing my toothbrush in a safe place
I keep my toothbrush in a cup beside the sink. I thought this would be sufficient to keep it relatively safe and clean. Imagine my horrified surprise when I woke up to discover the sight of a large cockroach not only perched on my toothbrush, but *chewing* on... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1416509195 | 1416515622 | t3_2mwero | t5_2to41 | 33 | SweatyInBed: TIFU by saying I tag-teamed my teammate's sister on speakerphone
This actually happened about three years ago when I was in high school. Our wrestling team was leaving early one morning to go to a tournament. I was picking up a younger teammate (we'll call him Dave) since I could drive and he could not. On... | 4 | 8.25 | |
1416512203 | 1416601378 | t3_2mwksu | t5_2to41 | 9 | slow_excellence: TIFU By isolating myself from my best friend
For clarity, this has happened over the past month or so.
Since the beginning of October, I've been unemployed and working through some moderate depression issues. My landlady came up to me mid October and gave me my 30 day notice to get my shit and get ou... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1416517217 | 1416544693 | t3_2mwuvc | t5_2to41 | 114 | idonefuckedup2: TIFU by unwittingly terrorizing my crush
This is easily the worst fuck-up I’ve done in my life, and there have been plenty. I’ll tell this story in two parts, first from my rosy-colored point of view, then from what I think must’ve been the girl’s scared shitless perspective.
Recently I became friends... | 10 | 11.4 | |
1416512173 | 1416526015 | t3_2mwkqt | t5_2to41 | 8 | Chihuahuachihuahua: TIFU by accidentally calling my Irish teacher a redneck.
A bit of background, but I immigrated to America early in my life. So when I started grade school, I knew nearly nothing about American culture or the English Language.
Sometime in 2nd grade, my class was having some sort of discussion about... | 4 | 2 | |
1416519181 | 1416593545 | t3_2mwz6z | t5_2to41 | 267 | itstherussianmafia: TIFU by causing my sister to lose a job interview
So earlier today I was at work and a coworker who is in her late 30's asked me for help regarding her son. She asked if there was any way she would be able to track her 12 year old son while she was at work. I began to show her how Find My iPhone wor... | 8 | 33.375 | |
1416519962 | 1416545284 | t3_2mx0yf | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU by making the film "Knocked Up" become my reality.
Yeah, so, unfortunately not much humor to be had in this post. Basically I'm just fucked.
I went to a homecoming football game at my university recently (I graduated in 2012) and randomly saw a girl that I knew for a bit back in college. I was alre... | 4 | 11.75 | |
1416519709 | 1416594784 | t3_2mx0dy | t5_2to41 | 96 | Dudecrisis: TIFU by attending a party with 60-something people high on LSD.
Okay, this didn't happen today, but Saturday.
A little back story: I live in a small suburban community on the outskirts of Dallas, Texas. I have always had a fascination with psychedelics and still love exploring my mind from time to tim... | 14 | 6.857143 | |
1416520792 | 1416590802 | t3_2mx2qi | t5_2to41 | 11 | Retawtrams: TIFU by getting a full night sleep before a 10 hour flight.
This was my comment on another thread but realized this was a total TIFU moment.
So once upon a time, I was living in Japan. I had this friend. She was really attractive and totally into me, but I'm an idiot. Oh shit man, I'm talking dirty blonde,... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1416506527 | 1416521798 | t3_2mw9iq | t5_2to41 | 6 | stupidass_throwaway: TIFU by making a horrible joke at a horrible time
Alright first off I want to admit that even in the moment I didn't think it was funny. I don't think disabilities are okay to make fun of, and I've got a few myself so yeah I know how it feels and shit.
I was at my college with my classmate and fri... | 3 | 2 | |
1416520610 | 1416522544 | t3_2mx2c1 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a seemingly harmless Mom joke
So long time lurker, first time poster. As most TIFU posts go, this happened a few years ago when I was 18.
So it was one of the harder workouts at a nearby park where we would have to run half mile loops with hills in somewhere around 2 minutes and 10 seconds... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1416521975 | 1416577998 | t3_2mx5ap | t5_2to41 | 2,114 | Dablooey: TIFU by telling my teacher that the school nurse blew me
burrito_batman: Retarded teachers power tripping by refusing kids basic needs. If you have to go to the bathroom just go, your bathroom needs are more important that what an asshole teacher wants
Anarch_Angel: This Tuesday a similar incident happened
... | 16 | 132.125 | |
1416523937 | 1416539656 | t3_2mx9ev | t5_2to41 | 9 | jobinterviewnov: TIFU in a job interview
I was interviewing for an HR person and it was unlike any position I have ever interviewed for. I started to sweat and it was noticeable so I think that turned them off. They also asked me like three questions in one which was confusing because I couldn't keep track of what they... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1416521404 | 1416617990 | t3_2mx44e | t5_2to41 | 103 | farmher313: TIFU by lighting an "eternal flame" in the house
Today I royally fucked up..
A bit of a back story: One of my dogs is 14 years old and has a colon disease. He is not in pain and doing well on his medication, but it's only a matter of time before we have to put him down.
Today I decided it was finally time... | 7 | 14.714286 | |
1416525629 | 1416527933 | t3_2mxctq | t5_2to41 | 26 | patpet: TIFU by going for a foursome ( MFFF) (NSFW)
Like many TIFU this actually happened 8 years ago. I just finished high school (in germany we have 13 years of school, so I was 19 at the time)
After graduating all students take a trip together to a usually warm and southern European country. We decided to go to Bu... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1416526419 | 1416531590 | t3_2mxefz | t5_2to41 | 5 | iwasnhere: TIFU by teasing a girl
i got to know her through a good friend of me. i clicked immediately with her. she told me she would like to hang out with me but i wasn't that into her so i ignored it. two weeks later (today) we met again at my university. we went to eat something and than i made a childish joke. me:... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1416522372 | 1416538703 | t3_2mx66l | t5_2to41 | 66 | porn_theater_refugee: TIFU by using the wrong Spanish word when talking to a girl
this actually happened a few years ago. I have some hearing damage due to being around aircraft and gunfire before the era of hearing protection. As a result I've learned to compensate by by reading lips. While working in South America... | 5 | 13.2 | |
1416515089 | 1416594997 | t3_2mwqcr | t5_2to41 | 5 | SgtDudi: TIFU by not securing my motorbike
One year ago I got my moped license and I bought myself a [Yamaha Tzr](https://www.google.com/search?q=Yamaha+tzr&safe=off&tbm=isch&imgil=HKMraApfs6OPNM%253A%253B4YxnVDpXDrWzOM%253Bhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.yamaha-motor.eu%25252Fno%25252Fprodukter%25252Fmopeder%... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1416526502 | 1416599442 | t3_2mxelt | t5_2to41 | 12 | Lord_Metagross: TIFU by almost melting my skin off in chemistry
Ok, so this happened while at school today in chemistry. We were doing a relatively basic lab involving hydrochloric acid and copper(II)sulfate. My lab partner was recording results and assisting when needed while I was handling the acid for the reaction... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1416527612 | 1416535623 | t3_2mxgw6 | t5_2to41 | 15 | JakubCichon_PL: TIFU By showing the middle finger.
Background: School; lunchtime; I have an asshole friend who is an asshole and he spread a bit of stuff about me which annoyed me.
He walked away with some friends as I sat on a bench and browsed reddit. I looked up to see him wave at me from a small distance. Being an... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1416528170 | 1416607981 | t3_2mxi0c | t5_2to41 | 10 | Flipping_Fish: TIFU by overestimating my bladder
So it all begins with this lone fact - I have a large bladder, and can normally hold in my piss for hours, and piss, no joke, about a gallon. It starts in 5th period, I am going about my business and I have the urge to pee. Knowing I can hold it for the few hours until I... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1416528118 | 1416593522 | t3_2mxhx3 | t5_2to41 | 11 | TheJoker182: TIFU - by making an Indian girl collapse
TIFU but first I guess I should mention that this FU happened yesterday in my university gym.
I was doing my interval training on the exercise bikes which I do four times weekly with my housemate, when I noticed the Indian girl next to us was copying our regime, n... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1416529826 | 1416539603 | t3_2mxlfs | t5_2to41 | 8 | trefliips: TIFU Getting my glasses
TIFU when I just got a new pair of glasses not even 5 days ago, that cost $300 and got them stolen.
I got to class early like most mornings and I decided to sleep until the bell. Foolish me decided it would be a good idea to set my glasses on the desk so I can prepare for the day. I ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1416528592 | 1416583395 | t3_2mxixj | t5_2to41 | 3,486 | mollishason: TIFU by forgetting how the waistband trick works
I had been out for a long night of drinking and ended up crashing at a family friend's house at around 6 AM. I woke up some time around 8 AM and still felt drunk. I remembered that most of my stuff, including my pants, was in the guest bathroom down the hall... | 11 | 316.909091 | |
1416530156 | 1416726979 | t3_2mxm2v | t5_2to41 | 88 | Rularuu: TIFU by telling my mom we'd bone.
I have a project in Anatomy and Physiology at school where we have to make a 3D model of a bone joint. My mom wanted to help me with it because I suck at arts and crafts sort of stuff while she's a former commercial artist. She was going to eat some disgusting tuna thing, but ... | 4 | 22 | |
1416531965 | 1416583668 | t3_2mxpkm | t5_2to41 | 27 | Pieking9000: TIFU by potentially ruining a blind kids future
Well Reddit, after lurking on this subreddit for awhile, I finally have a story that's worth posting, and boy, did I fuck up.
So a little back story. I'm a sophomore (second year) in college and recently begun TA-ing (Teachers Assistant) for a math class. No... | 3 | 9 | |
1416532432 | 1416599780 | t3_2mxqgh | t5_2to41 | 389 | [deleted]: TIFU by farting on my friend's face.
I have a roommate currently living with me, and he's really good to have around and splits the bills with me, but he's not a morning person, and often gets up at 12 or 11.
Anyways, we were planning on going to the mall to meet with some other friends, but he wasn't up ye... | 5 | 77.8 | |
1416533586 | 1416613971 | t3_2mxsqm | t5_2to41 | 140 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting myself into my girlfriend's apartment
This happened yesterday after I got home from work, so around 5 PM-ish.
I decided that I was going to surprise my GF (for anonymity's sake I'll call her Jill) by showing up at her apartment. She's been going through some hard stuff right now, and I figu... | 9 | 15.555556 | |
1416533736 | 1416579171 | t3_2mxt10 | t5_2to41 | 104 | Cbtguitarist: TIFU By looking at a NSFW thread at work
About an hour ago, I was sitting at my desk and saw a thread on the front page of naked people posing in bathtubs. As I was scrolling through the pictures, I looked behind me to make sure my boss wasn't standing there. I turn around to see him walking up right besi... | 4 | 26 | |
1416531405 | 1416579036 | t3_2mxoij | t5_2to41 | 353 | franky49fan: TIFU by accidentally donating a bong to goodwill
So this happened a few months ago. Just graduating high school last June, I decided to go to a school that's a little over an hour away from me so I moved out of my house, into an apartment with my girlfriend, to get closer to my school. While clearing out ... | 6 | 58.833333 | |
1416534193 | 1416584354 | t3_2mxtvt | t5_2to41 | 23 | tifuguythrowaway: TIFU by sending a porn video to my female classmate
So I got back from work a little early and I have a programming assignment due at midnight. I had finished most of it and I only had the last part to finish. Over the past week my (female) classmate and I have been emailing/google-chatting back and f... | 6 | 3.833333 | |
1416534396 | 1416595727 | t3_2mxu9y | t5_2to41 | 173 | chickenfriedpossum: Tifu by peeing on a mosquito
Tl;dr i saw a mosquito in a urinal and peed on it, it flew into my mouth.
tommythewiseguy: Fuck mosquitoes
chickenfriedpossum: I dunno about fucking them, but i do not reccomend making out with them. Especially if you just peed on it.
Unless you're into that
AwkwardCow... | 5 | 34.6 | |
1416530343 | 1416584389 | t3_2mxmfj | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU... I'll just leave this here.
You know how they say you can't turn a hoe into a housewife?
Today I tried...
I decided to use an escort service for the first time. A friend recommended a website as opposed to soliciting from the streets. Looked like great quality even though it was more expensive, and ... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1416537166 | 1416612573 | t3_2mxzhz | t5_2to41 | 227 | Stoopiddumbshitmofo: TIFU by snooping through my husbands messages...help
So as the title says, I fucked up, but not as bad as he did.
We've been married LeSS than 2 months. We were both home, I was doing some homework and he went upstairs to take a nap. I've always been mildly jealous or even suspicious of people he ... | 12 | 18.916667 | |
1416537570 | 1416588760 | t3_2my0ac | t5_2to41 | 72 | UrbanCatBabe: TIFU by getting my math class canceled because of reddit.
Well this isn't the worst fuck up, but it was pretty funny. At least being there. I wish I could have taken a picture of his face.
Today, before class started I was non nonchalantly on reddit reading my college's subreddit page. Around me a group ... | 9 | 8 | |
1416535983 | 1416539957 | t3_2mxxbo | t5_2to41 | 10 | HooolySmokes: TIFU by wearing flip-flops.
Not today. About two years back.
First, some background info so you could appreciate story.
Some of the Filipina women have an "expression" they scream out when they are startled. It's the Filipino word for vagina and it's not really acceptable for a woman to scream that out ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1416524073 | 1416594252 | t3_2mx9oe | t5_2to41 | 7 | kaytkat: TIFU by letting my 9 month old play in dog piss
Got home from grocery shopping and didn't bother to check our living room (aka my son's play area) for dog piss when we got home. I changed his diaper and set him down on the floor to play. As I watched him playing and having fun I noticed a wet looking patch on ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1416539301 | 1416541442 | t3_2my3ka | t5_2to41 | 11 | PM_ME_THE_CHEESE: TIFU by telling my girlfriend to come visit. NSFW?
Hey TIFU. TIFU.
I got home from work. It was a particularly shitty day. I digress.
My girlfriend lives about 45 minutes away from my city, and I called her and invited her over. She agreed to drive over and left quickly.
She arrived, and I was ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1416541231 | 1416542079 | t3_2my729 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my gf her bday present
Happened yesterday, not today (sorry).
So, I had been thinking for a while what would be the best present for my gf's next bday. Jewelry? Nah, not original. Clothes? She already has too much. I've got no talent for anything homemade. Anything else seemed bad. So I kept t... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1416537903 | 1416651591 | t3_2my0xj | t5_2to41 | 6 | biased_hero: TIFU by jokingly telling a teammate of mine that my mother's dead when his really is.
A little insight. We were in the locker room changing after practice and there wasn't too many of us only about five or six, so we started talking about the new consoles and I said that the xbox one had hd graphics and my... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1416541607 | 1416578384 | t3_2my7pm | t5_2to41 | 116 | HalfysReddit: TIFU by trying to wash a mattress.
I'm going to preface this by saying that, while I'd like to believe I'm a fairly intelligent person, I occasionally do the most absurdly stupid things you can imagine. The curse of lacking common sense as some would put it.
So, I have a large family. Lots of children in... | 11 | 10.545455 | |
1416541447 | 1416552514 | t3_2my7fm | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by hearing "porn" instead of "corn" embarrassing me in front of a group of really hot girls
This actually happened today so I think I'm doing this right.
Anyway, I'm a freshman in college in the state of Iowa (of all places) and in my classes, I have to do a group project. Initially, I was with a group... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1416543151 | 1416545293 | t3_2myai3 | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by making pretend pipe bombs with my cousin using a plastic tube and a humidifier
This actually happened many years ago when I was in 4th grade, and my cousin was probably in 1st grade or kindergarten.
We're dudes, were tough, we're shooting plastic guns at each other and running through the house kill... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1416543746 | 1416550525 | t3_2mybj8 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by making Paula Deen's bread pudding recipe.
Vomiting pure sugar. Literally feeling the grains cut my throat. The butter was overpowering but the sugar was absurd. It didn't even taste good.
TheTraegs: Paula Deen puts a ridiculous amount of butter and sugar in everything. I saw her on TV once and I was... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1416544745 | 1416557194 | t3_2myd9m | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by accepting that my co-worker was jacking off about me
I have a co-worker that I like to chat with. We chat about our home-lives and work mostly. He's in a lousy marriage and I'm not. But I'll admit I like attention. We text when we're bored and I am a bit drunk. Lately I feel I restless and dark and l... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1416544656 | 1416545323 | t3_2myd38 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my friend use my new phone
Yeah yeah like usual not today but last month.
Anyway, this fuck up goes on more than one level. Last month around the 20th I had just gotten me a new Iphone 6+.
My friend we'll call him Matthew because thats his fucking name, wanted to mess with my phone and get... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1416545676 | 1416563452 | t3_2myery | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to get a few more minutes of sleep
I fell asleep on the train and missed my stop. Homeless guy then punched me in the face, grabbed my bookbag, and ran. My laptop was in the bookbag, that had all my term papers on it.
butthead22: no
The_Reebokman: You don't think it does but it do
ApeToe: But... | 4 | 3 | |
1416545359 | 1416684246 | t3_2myeag | t5_2to41 | 2 | laptoptifu: TIFU by browsing Reddit at school, against the policy of the administrators
So here is some background on this TIFU:
I currently go to a high school that gives laptops to all of the freshmen, so on registration day you have to pay a fee of $50, and you are granted a laptop if you sign the agreement form, i... | 8 | 0.25 | |
1416545520 | 1416616004 | t3_2myej3 | t5_2to41 | 6 | awrf: TIFU by not replacing my car battery when the dealer told me I needed to
I brought my 2011 Sonata in for its 90k service today. It had been starting rough for a few weeks so I thought the starter might need to be replaced. They called me up after I got to work and said actually my battery needed to be replaced an... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1416547233 | 1416587962 | t3_2myhb4 | t5_2to41 | 34 | TIFU074: TIFU by confronting my crush
Well, today was naturally good and dandy day with me having a light schedule at college. Class upto twelve and a whole 10 hours to hangout with a girl I've been intereseted in since day 1. Days prior I had asked her out on another date or "Lunch". Lunch went swell with us having a ... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1416534214 | 1416555884 | t3_2mxtx7 | t5_2to41 | 7 | dragontology: TIFU by 'inventing' pepper spray, and using it on myself
Standard disclaimer, this didn't happen today, but many years ago (although it happened again today, I'll get to that).
When I was a kid, I had chronic, severe asthma. I had a nebulizer (in fact an air compressor, was the main unit, the nebulizer w... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1416551478 | 1416577271 | t3_2myni2 | t5_2to41 | 41 | Ducksliterally: TIFU By advocating cannabis in my music
This happened yesterday in Music class. For a joke I was creating a piece of music only using music clips from MLG Montage Parody sites, which included, Sanic, Darude Dankstorm, etc..
When I played this to my teacher, he said a piece of music that was advocating ... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1416553300 | 1416595259 | t3_2mypu6 | t5_2to41 | 43 | Now_It_Burns: TIFU my husband's penis (NSFW)
So this happened a couple years ago, but I almost made the same mistake tonight.
I had surgery that kept me unable to have sexy times with my husband for over a month. One night, we were watching a movie, cuddling on the couch. The kid was fast asleep, it was the weekend so... | 6 | 7.166667 | |
1416552041 | 1416555659 | t3_2myo7p | t5_2to41 | 2 | yummy_yumiii: TIFU, so I'm just sitting here with this bubbler
JaysRooted: Um...huh?
LizardTongue: I believe he's saying that *he's* fucked up. (stoned)
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1416554348 | 1416568399 | t3_2myr5y | t5_2to41 | 23 | rumblebeard: TIFU by trying to make my butthole smell nice...
Short story; I have OCD and I was really high on weed and coffee, getting ready for a date with a girl I really like, after showering, shaving (upstairs and downstairs) clipping my toenails and doing everything I could think of to look and smell as good as p... | 7 | 3.285714 | |
1416554766 | 1416622928 | t3_2myrns | t5_2to41 | 16 | walolrus: TIFU by peeling potatoes in the sink
My company is having a thanksgiving potluck tomorrow. I agreed to make mashed potatoes. In trying to impress people, I attempted to make them from scratch.
When I was younger and lived with my parents, I always peeled the potatoes in the sink and disposed of the skins via... | 4 | 4 | |
1416547725 | 1416615768 | t3_2myi4n | t5_2to41 | 4 | Alliewh33lz: TIFU by looking for the mouse the cat killed.
This happened 5 minutes ago. Reddit TIFU by looking for the mouse my roommates cat killed. The cat chased the mouse into my roommates room and I didn't want my roommate coming home to a dead mouse in the middle of his bed. So under the bed I look. This is where... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1416554220 | 1416556097 | t3_2myqzk | t5_2to41 | 6 | Neko_bus: TIFU by being useless at the phonetic alphabet
Was called at work from a person today, they needed to email some documents through to me and English isn't their first language. So I was spelling out my email address phonetically to them while on the phone. Which was going fine (even if I used 'war' for the W ... | 3 | 2 | |
1416557007 | 1416574259 | t3_2myu7q | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by using an old friends pictures for erotic chats on Omegle.
For some backstory, I occasionally go on Omegle to have adult conversations with the other perverted dicks who use Omegle, I'm depressed at the moment and as sad as it sounds the little bit of attention Omegle gives me makes me happy, the issu... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1416558164 | 1416608103 | t3_2myvie | t5_2to41 | 63 | needleboys: TIFU by removing a splinter.
This happened when I was much younger.
I had just been on a walk in a forest near my home when I was feeling a small pain in my foot with every step I took. Upon further investigation I had discovered it was a splinter. I decided to take matters into my own hands and carefully... | 5 | 12.6 | |
1416558217 | 1416561560 | t3_2myvkr | t5_2to41 | 8 | noodlehawk: TIFU by using a fancy word
I thought I would be all smart using the ward "niggardly" during my English class discussion. One kid giggled and immediately everyone thought I was using it to make some kind of joke. The teacher thought this was my intention and she gave me a good long talk after class. So much ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1416558576 | 1416588269 | t3_2myvyy | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my fiancee about things I did with a mutual friend over a year ago.
Almost 2 years ago my fiancee and I hit a rough patch (we were only dating at the time) and called it quits bc of the distance being too difficult. Within the month following our break-up I was spending time with a mutual fri... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1416553372 | 1416621113 | t3_2mypxl | t5_2to41 | 17 | UltraSpecial: TIFU by causing a big fight with a quarter.
This happened a couple of years back in high school.
Outside of the school across the street is a small convenience store that got a lot of attention from the students who were really needing some munchies. Every day at lunch and after school, the store was alw... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1416567864 | 1416568659 | t3_2mz4z2 | t5_2to41 | 33 | pyrotechnicalities: TIFU by telling my sub to gouge her eyes out.
Well, this happened yesterday, but...
Yeah, there's no way this one won't sound bad, and I should start with the fact that I'm a senior in high school. I had an argument with my mother in the morning, and I was not having it upon arrival to school. So w... | 3 | 11 | |
1416571124 | 1416595956 | t3_2mz7yu | t5_2to41 | 22 | landerwi: TIFU by getting blocked from the schools wifi.
So today me and a friend was messing about in the Command Line with different commandos. Well there's this command, 'shutdown -i' that allows you to shut down any computer using the IP-address. So we find out my friends IP and type it in...nothing happens. I thin... | 10 | 2.2 | |
1416544403 | 1416580793 | t3_2mycn2 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Chasan1986: TIFU by letting delusions or grandeur ruin my life
I'm sorry this is long. TLDR, carry on.
When I was growing up, like most young boys, I had such aspirations for myself. I wanted what most people
wanted; a career I loved, a wife I cherished, and a life worth living. I believed I was the most astu... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1416568014 | 1416612841 | t3_2mz544 | t5_2to41 | 16 | That91Guy: TIFU by putting moisturiser on my sunburn (NSFW?)
So it really started yesterday after I finished ripping up my old lawn from my backyard. It took me around 10 hours and I was wearing a singlet. Dumbass me forgot to put sunscreen on my back where my skin shows... So I got sunburnt. My girlfriend gave me some... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1416573295 | 1416597170 | t3_2mza4y | t5_2to41 | 415 | nme__: TIFU by fingering by gf with chilli fingers
tldr; made chilli. didn't wash hands properly. Fingered and burned gf's vagina.
---
After a week of asking, I agreed to cook a recipe from my home town. We both were excited. The recipe uses green chilli and gram flour stuffing. My gf made the stuffing and I sliced th... | 9 | 46.111111 | |
1416557854 | 1416611342 | t3_2myv5q | t5_2to41 | 8 | vicerowvelvet: tifu by being a concerned and mindful student.
I stay up until midnight so i could register for classes the instant they become available to me. Due to me being new at the school (two fucking semesters already) i have low registration priority and have to feed on scraps. Anyway, i loiter on the site and ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1416573697 | 1416744251 | t3_2mzaiv | t5_2to41 | 27 | LowercaseGuitarist: TIFU by submitting the wrong assignment
Today I got my marks back for a project i did the weeks ago. I spent 20 hours straight in labs for this project and was very happy with it when i was done, submitted it a 7 in the morning with no sleep that night. Today the marks came through... 7/100. downloa... | 6 | 4.5 | |
1416576973 | 1416604180 | t3_2mze6r | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by not taking enough water with a capsule I was taking
Today I was in a hurry to get dressed and ready to go out, but since I've been suffering from a cold, I wasn't thinking particularly clearly.
So I'm about to brush my teeth, but need to take some medication real quick. I pop the capsule in my mou... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1416580330 | 1416617798 | t3_2mziss | t5_2to41 | 36 | BillDickles: TIFU by trying to haggle with a charity
Excuse the formatting, I'm on mobile.
Myself and a friend of mine decided to take a visit to the thrift store before it closed one night. We had both smoked a bit of weed and I was definitely starting to feel the effects. Now, keep in mind that this isn't some sort... | 4 | 9 | |
1416584985 | 1416603324 | t3_2mzqj2 | t5_2to41 | 3,869 | cometapoc: TIFU by using my gas bill to save for Christmas
Ok so I live in Colorado and have separate gas and electric companies and typically this time of year your gas bill goes up and electric goes down.
So money has been tight with the holiday's coming up we have had to forgo some things we have wanted like everyo... | 17 | 227.588235 | |
1416578475 | 1416597167 | t3_2mzg4d | t5_2to41 | 83 | prosecoloredglasses: TIFU by punching myself in the face
I have a cold sent straight from the pits of hell or Europe in 1350, which is pretty much the same thing. I wasn't so sick yesterday, and made it through a dinner out with my bf and a bunch of friends. Got home, chilled out a little, fell asleep around 2am. Woke ... | 5 | 16.6 | |
1416587651 | 1416592101 | t3_2mzvch | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending an important client a scrap piece of paper with the handwritten name of a certain Greek-American actor from the 1960s on it.
I work at a fairly large law firm in Toronto. I'm fairly close with both senior partners, as I got the position through my dad. In a sense, we're fairly unprofessiona... | 6 | 3 | |
1416588150 | 1416603761 | t3_2mzw75 | t5_2to41 | 83 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a customer's kid beat
Like all TIFU, this happened a few years ago while I was on the phones in customer service (and it's a great story to tell). So a customer called in complaining that their bill was too high. We reviewed the account and found that there were many purchases of porn made.... | 4 | 20.75 | |
1416587628 | 1416611860 | t3_2mzvat | t5_2to41 | 11 | -good-: TIFU By having an awesome beard
Background: I work Monday thru Thursday, and all the kids are at school on Friday, so when Friday comes, it's just me and the wife so well.. you know..
It started as a typical Friday, get up, get the kids off to school, drink some coffee, sit around, etc. This Friday I decided... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1416588836 | 1416595092 | t3_2mzxfg | t5_2to41 | 4 | th3giant: Tifu by dishonouring a school child in the (almost) worst way possible
demon_eyes61: Just throw a shoe at the parents, that should get them to stop acting like assholes.
MinnENT: That's not a terrible idea actually. Just throw shoes at everyone, then everyone is too busy cleansing to do anything about it.... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1416589005 | 1416759466 | t3_2mzxql | t5_2to41 | 166 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to clean the "Recently Deleted" folder on my iPhone...
This happened two hours ago...
I recently upgraded from the iPhone 5 to the iPhone 6, which comes with iOS 8 installed. I was still running iOS 7 on my old iPhone as I never really got round to backing it up and do the whole upgra... | 12 | 13.833333 | |
1416589631 | 1416676245 | t3_2mzywq | t5_2to41 | 75 | dkaarvand: TIFU by farting on my girlfriends cat
We just finished having sex. She usually goes to the bathroom afterwards, to clean up and take a piss to avoid urinary tract infection
She has this stupid fucking cat which I can't stand, because he has this glare of content all the time which just pisses me off.
For s... | 5 | 15 | |
1416588453 | 1416596601 | t3_2mzwpt | t5_2to41 | 102 | Uncharmful-: TIFU Up by sharing a chatroom on Facebook.
To start I have a fetish for doing my thing with other guys to straight porn.
Don't judge me.
This happened literally a few minutes ago.
So, after I realized that I wasn't alone in this I found a subreddit. /r/jobuds.
On the sidebar I found they had a chatroom... | 4 | 25.5 | |
1416590501 | 1416881835 | t3_2n00o1 | t5_2to41 | 2,060 | sweetpea122: TIFU by pantsing my husband and now our kid thinks he has a "vapeenus"
So this happened last night. I put our daughter to bed and went to go pee. On the way, my husband was refilling his drink so I decide it would be funny to pants him as I ran to the bathroom.
Anyway my 4 year old daughter didnt actuall... | 21 | 98.095238 | |
1416591036 | 1416601509 | t3_2n01nc | t5_2to41 | 13 | iaintnofagget: TIFU by yelling at the principal "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"
This TIFU actually happened a few weeks ago but here it goes:
It was lunch time and I was just walking aimlessly with a friend,we were on the stairs and there were dozens of students trying to go down the stairs too.
My friend was behind me an... | 3 | 4.333333 |
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