start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
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1416692081 | 1416727102 | t3_2n40zg | t5_2to41 | 202 | toughmerk: TIFU by exposing myself to the appliance repair guy
So, to slightly preface this story, I just recently moved into a new house with my parents. They take the upstairs, and I take the very sizeable downstairs. There is a really nice wet bar with a mini fridge down in the basement but when we moved in the frid... | 5 | 40.4 | |
1416691908 | 1416698963 | t3_2n40ph | t5_2to41 | 26 | wittyshitty: TIFU by going for the pepper
So, unlike a lot of TIFU's, this actually happened last night. Luckily, it's the weekend so I can actually share this with you all.
This FU started Friday morning. My co-workers and I were debating where to eat for lunch that day. Rubio's? No. Subway? No. Costco? Maybe... hmm... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1416688729 | 1416699314 | t3_2n3vjj | t5_2to41 | 22 | RedHexmaster: TIFU by looking at porn in the school library
Long time lurker, first time poster -whatwhaaat-
I have a 2 hour break between classes at school, so what better way to fill the time than looking at porn? My net's off at home, so I figured I'd beef up the spank bank while I'm at school. My tuition paid for ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1416698103 | 1416764739 | t3_2n4aug | t5_2to41 | 1,242 | [deleted]: TIFU by ordering a pizza without cheese.
man_mayo: That is the most depressing looking pizza I've ever seen.
Waspus: I'm allergic to dairy so this is what all my pizzas look like :(
CousinJamess: look up lactaid. solves your lactose intolerance problem. if you are lactose intolerance. best shit ever
pand... | 8 | 155.25 | |
1416699180 | 1416700891 | t3_2n4cqz | t5_2to41 | 12 | PyroDak: TIFU by letting my bestfriend move off my couch and take a bus to California.
This fuck up started Tuesday and is still in progress. So a little back story, I met my friend Dillon in college. He was my friends new roommate and we clicked instantly. Fast forward 2 years and I see a facebook post from Dillon st... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1416699400 | 1416720971 | t3_2n4d4f | t5_2to41 | 132 | sandybuttcheekz: TIFU by losing a dildo up in my butthole [very NSFW/NSFL?]
*Throwaway account for obvious reasons*
Last night while grabbing my pjs I found a dildo I was given some months ago as a gag gift but had since forgotten about it. I had just come home from a party and I was tipsy and when I'm tipsy I get su... | 15 | 8.8 | |
1416698138 | 1416732345 | t3_2n4ax1 | t5_2to41 | 6 | NuKlein: TIFU by not understanding sarcasm
Dear reddit, today I fucked up in such a way that all of my male friends now consider me an idiot (I might be) and my friends' car ending up in a ditch on the side of the road.
So the event occured as following:
I was riding shotgun in my friend's (male 18, let's call him Jo... | 3 | 2 | |
1416699890 | 1416764606 | t3_2n4dwf | t5_2to41 | 7 | Poobis: TIFU By Letting Natural Teenage-ish ThingsnHappen (NSFW)
I am going through adolecence. (Spelling?.) So that consists of lots of morning wood, and random boners at school, at the worst time, but thats another story for another day. So anyways, I woke up with wood this morning, and didn't know it, so I rolled ov... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1416700291 | 1416701094 | t3_2n4eks | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by super gluing an expensive music player on top of my car AIR BAGS
So yesterday I bought a really nice 150$ music player that enhances the bass in songs. After listening to it my house for a day I realized that it would sound even cooler in my car.... needless to say I ended up super gluing my music pl... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1416701833 | 1416716083 | t3_2n4gys | t5_2to41 | 64 | roodus: TIFU by throwing a used condom onto a campfire
This happened in the summer. My beautiful girlfriend and I were on the Madawaska River for a 2 person white water canoe trip. Naturally we ended up smoking a bunch of weed and having a bunch of drinks then having some awesome sex right by the campfire under the sta... | 4 | 16 | |
1416703432 | 1416729883 | t3_2n4jhg | t5_2to41 | 95 | Frostburn45: TIFU by drawing massive penis in permanent marker
TIFU, me and my friends were all messing around in our classroom, when one of them decided to start drawing on the whiteboard. The first thing he drew was a massive detailed penis. Being immature as we are, it was funny to all of us. But when my friend trie... | 4 | 23.75 | |
1416692602 | 1416735807 | t3_2n41sh | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU Request: Has anyone ever pooped their pants at work?
I was thinking of the times that people have sometimes had to leave work very suddenly, claiming they're unwell. Maybe they pooped their pants? That must happen right?
elpadrin0: Something you want to tell us OP?
FunkyFlies: I have never pooped my pa... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1416707876 | 1416774855 | t3_2n4q6x | t5_2to41 | 203 | mrmdc: TIFU by attempting to slap my wife's ass
It's weekend! Yay! I can post this!!
So this happened about 12 hours ago and I'm still sore from the experience. Here it is:
It was a Saturday evening, the sun was setting in the smoggy Chinese sky, creating a brilliant orange hue well in advance of its actual setting,... | 4 | 50.75 | |
1416708095 | 1416730223 | t3_2n4qje | t5_2to41 | 8 | nailer666: TIFU by fingering my girlfriend
This is my first post so bare with me :) this actually happened about 5 hours ago. Me and my girl (we've been together for a month) came over and we were just watching a movie and getting a bit cheeky ;) To put some context, I've had one relationship before and I didn't really... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1416708586 | 1416773325 | t3_2n4r9o | t5_2to41 | 54 | WordsRLikeBullets: TIFU by inviting a friend over to my house (sorry Reddit, reset the shit counter)
I invite one of my friends I haven't seen in a while. We're both starving and decide to order some burritos, tacos and nachos. We scarf everything up like animals and surf through youtube videos.
After about 20 minute... | 6 | 9 | |
1416710377 | 1416731747 | t3_2n4tvk | t5_2to41 | 15 | IwillEbolovingU: TIFU Stole dead mans porn, stole aunts porn, caught by dad
TIFU Like many TIFU's this happened many years ago. When I was about 14 I had found some porno videos in my grandparents next house where we rented out rooms to other people. The cassette tapes belong to someone who died in his room and my gran... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1416709547 | 1416894681 | t3_2n4sou | t5_2to41 | 2 | DrNofap_MrFap: TIFU by texting an joke to my crush that she took as insult.
Today i started texting my crush few things and she responded quite well to my text, I mean its fucking Saturday and everything is fine. I texted her solely because I am at my shitty fast food job and getting training from an old shit Pentium c... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1416711847 | 1416714840 | t3_2n4vyy | t5_2to41 | 7 | MyBrokenJohnson: TIFU Finding sex on craigslist
Northerner6: Your writing skills are a travesty
MyBrokenJohnson: What the heck is travesty
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1416711718 | 1416763609 | t3_2n4vsz | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling both my daughters to shower.
So this fuck up is currently occurring.
This week has been the week of Aunt Flo's visit. My belly has been paying the monthly lady price, in an even more vengeful manner than usual.
I hadn't eaten much all week, but for dinner tonight I decided to partake of s... | 5 | 13.2 | |
1416713225 | 1416775142 | t3_2n4xxo | t5_2to41 | 6 | Uzaka: TIFU by accidentally scratching a car at the car lot I'm working at right now.
Title explains it all. I just scratched a car at this lot. Not sure what I should do. Go to my company, or the owner of the lot. It was a complete accident, my steering wheel slipped as I was turning around a row of cars and I scraped... | 6 | 1 | |
1416714237 | 1416723434 | t3_2n4zc9 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Cyrlllc: TIFU by trying to impress noone by eating a can of canned jalapeños with my burritoes.
I am now sitting on the porcelain ring almost convulsing in agony. Oh how ironic it is that I ate the "spiciest" thing on the menu last night at a sichuan place and there was no aftermath, not like this. If Volcanoes erupte... | 3 | 1 | |
1416715601 | 1416770990 | t3_2n5199 | t5_2to41 | 181 | 956783456: TIFU and should probably be in jail
This happened today.
This morning I woke up around 7am, hungover as usual. I had plans with a friend to go to a fair in the city. As usual, I started my "fuck I'm hungover, some 'hair of the dog' will fix that" routine. I took a few shots, followed by a few beers. Sweet I... | 7 | 25.857143 | |
1416714466 | 1416791443 | t3_2n4znw | t5_2to41 | 944 | Jigsaw02: TIFU by solving a 10 year mystery.
As the title suggests this fuck up took place 10 years ago and remained a mystery until last month.
Ten years ago I lived with my husband, 3 teenaged children and our family dog. My husband commuted to his job in Chicago from our home in NYC, leaving the rest of us to our o... | 9 | 104.888889 | |
1416716245 | 1416758950 | t3_2n5265 | t5_2to41 | 198 | agriffey1: TIFU by tainting my Tiger Balm. (NSFW)
So, I have been having extreme back pain for a couple of weeks and finally went to the doctor to get it checked out. I was told that I have bulging disks and muscle spasms that were making them worse. I went home with two different muscle relaxers and a big bottle of pe... | 4 | 49.5 | |
1416718627 | 1416727753 | t3_2n558w | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving raw pork tenderloin on the kitchen counter
This afternoon I pulled out some frozen pork and put it on my kitchen counter to thaw. I was planning on making dinner for a beautiful girl I had just met recently. I drove over to her house and picked her up and upon arriving in my kitchen with her ... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1416689807 | 1416784581 | t3_2n3xac | t5_2to41 | 6 | fragtasticvogage: TIFU by betting with chewing tobacco
A few years ago, but still makes me feel nasty.
I was at a bar with some friends and took out a new tin of chewing tobacco to pack a lip. My bud asked me what biggest lip I ever packed was, I wasn't sure but mentioned I knew of some guys who would put half a tin ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1416719746 | 1416743122 | t3_2n56rh | t5_2to41 | 17 | 618pereira: TIFU by reading the FU of the girl who had the dildo stuck up her butt.
(im in the toilet posting this)So i was reading http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2n4d4f/tifu_by_losing_a_dildo_up_in_my_butthole_very/ On my phone and i forgot to close the app and i just locked it. Fast forward 10 min my mum ask... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1416674162 | 1416759447 | t3_2n37wf | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Tifu by not getting the job
Well reddit, I'm here today because I am I stupid idiot who valued his job over his life, but it didnt make a difference because the outcome of my actions were just the same either way. I just graduated from college last year, and I felt confident going into the workplace. After a... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1416720113 | 1416723444 | t3_2n5772 | t5_2to41 | 6 | ipasspeetests: TIFU by shitting my pants in the middle of the woods
Okay first post so don't be hating. So this happened about 2 years ago and has scarred me forever. So every year at the school I used to go to, well call the school ABC, they have a 2 night trip for the 6th grade to study history at a gold mining place... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1416719358 | 1416731117 | t3_2n569r | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by reactivating my Tinder account to show my new roommate what it's all about.
A few days ago my roommate was showing some profile of a gal he met on an online dating site. Having just discovered Tinder a few months ago and getting a few dates as well as my current gf from the app I had to show him how ... | 7 | 5.285714 | |
1416721071 | 1416722645 | t3_2n58f4 | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by sharing an Amazon Prime account with my Aunt.
I am a shared member on my Aunt's Amazon Prime account. Today she casually mentions to me that she can "see the funky stuff I order".
I have recently ordered a butt plug, suction cup dildo, lube shooters, 6 inch platform thigh high hooker boots, and a b... | 3 | 15 | |
1416715432 | 1416723357 | t3_2n5110 | t5_2to41 | 4 | GnarlyBellyButton69: TIFU by almost starting my house on fire.
This happened when I was 9 by the way.
I always had a fascination for fire; it destroys everything, and it's not a physical object; it's like light. You can't "touch" it, you're touching heat. It completely fucks up shadows and is just badass in general.
... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1416724303 | 1416728225 | t3_2n5cg1 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Desiired: TIFU by watching porn, and finding something really disturbing
Hi Redditors!
As a teenager (13/15 id say), I was not an expert when it came to sex toys. I did not know what a lot of them were used for, or what they were in general.
My mother used to have this toy on the top of her dresser and claimed it was... | 3 | 4 | |
1416728591 | 1416773597 | t3_2n5gxg | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting the girl of my dreams get too drunk
This just happened over the last 3 hours and I am kicking myself for it as I type....she is perfect....
Let me give some backstory to scope the fuck up of the week...I just broke up with my previous girlfriend of 3 years. She was a ruthless Bitch that trea... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1416610441 | 1416786315 | t3_2n14lj | t5_2to41 | 5 | Crige: TIFU by telling off the son of my university's department head.
This morning I got pulled into a meeting with the head of my department, his son, and my principle instructor. The issue was that I told off a student, from a different department, the previous night while not realizing who he was. He was in an inst... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1416727118 | 1416793293 | t3_2n5fic | t5_2to41 | 10 | GibrealMalik: TIFU by stealing a bike, then returning it
So, Sundays are normally fun, I work at a mall, a juice place. For some back ground, I'm a 17 year old guy, who's fit according to my friends, and dirt poor. So basically, after my job, where I work alone, and close up myself, I head on home. Today was a good day... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1416734995 | 1416773291 | t3_2n5mb7 | t5_2to41 | 146 | CelticTiger01: TIFU by going not reading a sign
It was actually mid-august. Me and my cousin are at this water park. One of the only good slides there stood out like the Burj Khalifa. 60 feet high and it drops so steeply, that the whole ride lasts only for <5 seconds. Anyway after waiting 20 minutes in line we notic... | 7 | 20.857143 | |
1416735681 | 1416807037 | t3_2n5mti | t5_2to41 | 93 | mysternumisok: TIFU by spilling hot wax all over my boyfriend's apartment.
Let me start off by saying that I have been waiting all year for a pretty popular store to release their seasonal candle line. I'm not that big on scented candles normally, but there is one from this shop that I ADORE. And it only comes out duri... | 5 | 18.6 | |
1416737977 | 1416742939 | t3_2n5ojp | t5_2to41 | 7 | VacuumSpace: TIFU by not bringing a towel into the bathroom before I showered
This happened around 2 months ago.
So around 2 months ago, my cousin's family, and my *other* cousin's family visited my house for a little get-together (I guess). We ate some food, drank some coke, watch tv, etc in the living room from the... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1416740219 | 1416756884 | t3_2n5q8q | t5_2to41 | 7 | Charmingly_Conniving: TIFU By talking to a girl i really liked and then grinding on another girl.
Today, well a few days ago i fucked up by talking to a girl at work i really like, then drunkenly grinding on another.
I fucked up. I always fuck up but this one is a bit special- mainly because it actually embodies the... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1416740286 | 1416806668 | t3_2n5qac | t5_2to41 | 12 | Rad-Mage: TIFU By being ignorant towards a coworkers religion.
This fuck up was indeed yesterday. At work (I work at a pizza place) almost all of our drivers are from eastern descent and/or are 1st gen immigrants. One in particular is a sweet old guy, he's always smiling and laughing and being really helpful (gives me ... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1416739742 | 1416780308 | t3_2n5pvg | t5_2to41 | 297 | secs12: TIFU by abbreviating the word "seconds"
This actually happened a very long time ago in my 5th grade when my class had an ice-cream-party-day. We all received one small paper-bowl of one scoop of ice cream topped with Hershey's fudge and sprinkles. I finished mine pretty quickly and after a while I wanted second... | 6 | 49.5 | |
1416743347 | 1417019022 | t3_2n5sk5 | t5_2to41 | 97 | LTek: TIFU by taking a masterclass in unblocking a toilet.
A long time of reading peoples misfortunes here, karma brought it back around and made me post my own. First TIFU ever. I hope the last.
The incident begun on rainy Friday night. - The weekend just gone for reference.
I had recently moved into a new apartment... | 4 | 24.25 | |
1416747641 | 1416781765 | t3_2n5w4o | t5_2to41 | 19 | myboatisaplane: TIFU by getting drunk, slashing my hand on a knife, wrecking the kitchen, falling asleep in shower.
So I got drunk last night, really drunk. Accidentally slashed my hand on a kitchen knife and forgot about it, so there is now blood all over the floor in every single room.
It never stopped bleeding whi... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1416749161 | 1416749501 | t3_2n5xl5 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU because now it's Sunday
Didn't do anything productive with my life for the 12th weekend in a row this semester. Except make a shit ton of pasta each time. Thursdays I'm shitfaced, Friday I'm bonding with friends over Thursday's stupidities with a bottle of Malbec, and Saturdays I'm blankly making too ma... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1416748537 | 1416782359 | t3_2n5wy3 | t5_2to41 | 1,900 | Greedeater: TIFU through inattentiveness (NSFW-ish)
Fuck it I'm drunk so no throwaway, I'm doing this live.
Got home after a night on the town with the missus. We were sitting on the bed discussing the movie we went to (Interstellar at IMAX, and yes it was fucking awesome) and the new restaurant we tried when she goe... | 8 | 237.5 | |
1416748159 | 1416755914 | t3_2n5wlg | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing like Bubbles from Trailer Park Boys at my girlfriend's mom's house.
In case you don't know how Bubbles takes a leak: He leans back and puts both of his hands on his hips...pissing with no hands. I was at my girlfriends mom's today and I decided to do the same. It's not difficult to aim if you ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1416750025 | 1416750697 | t3_2n5ydv | t5_2to41 | 13 | nograth: TIFU by showing my boss a picture on my phone
Reddit - today I fucked up, bad.
A little background: I've started this pretty awesome job in the last month. It's not exactly what I want to do in life but I've met some great people and it's keeping my family off my back.
So my line manager tells me that all of... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1416734660 | 1416821586 | t3_2n5m2u | t5_2to41 | 3 | ughwastaken: TIFU by forgetting my best friends birthday
I'm very bad with dates. It's really hard for me to remember stuff like birth-dates, so i usually store it in my contacts. But, recently i got a new phone and i didn't add birth-dates to the contacts on the phone.
So, earlier today, i was out with my best friend... | 3 | 1 | |
1416749707 | 1416802791 | t3_2n5y2g | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: [NSFW] TIFU by jizzing in my hair.
So, throwaway account for obvious reasons.
Friday, my roommate left to go to a little Thanksgiving party with some of his friends. He wouldn't be back until the next day since he was going to sleep over at his girlfriend's house so I had the dorm all to myself. A while aft... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1416754599 | 1416756850 | t3_2n63iy | t5_2to41 | 6 | mushy_tushy: TIFU by taking a drug test
As with most of these posts this happened some time ago.
It was 2009 and I was in the midst of enlisting in the Army National Guard to help pay for college. Because I used to smoke pot pretty consistently, my recruiter had me take piss tests to make sure I was clean before I ma... | 3 | 2 | |
1416758037 | 1416808020 | t3_2n685j | t5_2to41 | 60 | wormspeaker: TIFU by Trusting a Fart
The FU probably started earlier this morning when I decided to have yogurt for breakfast and nothing else except for waaaaay too much tea.
At least it was in the shower and my butt was facing the wall. But holy hell it was like a champagne bottle shooting foam. Once it started ther... | 6 | 10 | |
1416758373 | 1416762075 | t3_2n68mq | t5_2to41 | 9 | Captain_Slap-Dick: TIFU by power scrubbing my asshole
So first let me tell you that I have a very powerful anus. I often times find myself sporting some serious swamp ass. The swamp usually solidifies and it's like a pooey crust in my bum. So one school day I had a bad case of gas. The fart would seepe anal juice in my... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1416759109 | 1416759780 | t3_2n69qm | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking my toenails
I woke up really hung over this morning and I needed a coffee. So I grabbed the coffee mug by my computer desk, popped in the Tim Horton's tassimo cartridge and waited for the drips to stop.
I grab my coffee and sipped it while reading reddit. When I get down to the last bit of... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1416759658 | 1416801809 | t3_2n6aha | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by going on a date.
I intended to post this last night, the night the fuck-up actually happened, but reddit was being... unfriendly, and I was absolutely shit-faced drunk and forgot about it after about 5mins. Luckily, i copied it. So here it is, my fuck-up:
This TIFU actually happened tonight unlike 9... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1416759499 | 1417667226 | t3_2n6a9l | t5_2to41 | 7 | BrianTheDoge: TIFU By snapping my girlfriend the wrong snap
Oh god, where do I start. Ok so I'll tell a little about me. I'm 15,freshman, and have been dating a girl for about 3 months now. I'm not really sexually active and to be honest I never had my first kiss until last week. Well my girlfriend which we will call S... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1416759184 | 1416851558 | t3_2n69tw | t5_2to41 | 538 | labatomi: TIFU by using kaspersky
This happened a few years ago.
I was in the market for some good anti virus for my computer and all The websites I went to recommended kaspersky, for it's ease of use and how little impact it had on the system. Great.
Not one of those sites mentioned, what happened when it found a vi... | 9 | 59.777778 | |
1416760835 | 1416777516 | t3_2n6caz | t5_2to41 | 10 | nicePenguin: TIFU by telling my friend I didn't order the concert tickets yet
I just was at a small party with another friend of mine his girlfriend and some others. All of us were sitting in the living room drinking some beer.
I remembered that I was supposed to buy 3 concert tickets for him his girlfriend and myself... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1416761184 | 1416787865 | t3_2n6csg | t5_2to41 | 142 | [deleted]: TIFU By spunkanoing before going to see my boyfriends parents.
This happened a couple weeks back. Me & my boyfriend were going round to his parents but had an hour to kill - we filled this void with sexy time.
Sexy time is good, he finishes inside me and I do the whole bring my legs up to stop man-goo g... | 5 | 28.4 | |
1416763202 | 1416770193 | t3_2n6g1f | t5_2to41 | 9 | Florphin: TIFU by trying to have breakfast and instead inadvertently killing a gecko.
This happened about 45 minutes ago. I am currently living in Hawaii on a farm in what we call a screenroom. Our bedroom has screens around it and our kitchen has no walls at all.
I was going through my normal morning routine. I had m... | 3 | 3 | |
1416764933 | 1416769035 | t3_2n6iyn | t5_2to41 | 5 | KenjiJZ: TIFU by smoking weed inside my apartment
So a little back story. Me and my friend are quite new to weed, about a month or so. My roommate's girlfriend, HATES weed. Especially the smell.
Anyways me and my friend, Bill were about to go smoke in my car, but as I was pulling away he asked, "If we smoked inside y... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1416761055 | 1416798101 | t3_2n6cln | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TIFU by catapulting a paper hornet into my eye
Basically, the story of what happened was this:
Earlier today, I was home alone and bored. I was trying to think of things to do when it hit me. I quickly took off my pants and got some notebook paper. I basically used my penis as a catapult by pulling it back... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1416757270 | 1416770054 | t3_2n6725 | t5_2to41 | 7 | feellikeawrapgod: TIFU by making my teacher cry.
It was Grade 9 Drama class. Of course this wasn't today. My teacher assigned us this project were we get song lyrics and speak them with different expressions and not sing them.
I remember picking the song NAS-The world is yours. I was walking to class with enthusiasm a... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1416766005 | 1416806719 | t3_2n6kra | t5_2to41 | 149 | vanishpart: TIFU 1st waxing fail...
So yesterday, I tried to wax my pubes, cause I don't own a razor yet. i did this secretly without my mom knowing cause, it thought it was too embarrassing. I went to the bathroom and got prepared. I heard that waxing was painful, but this was my only choice. So I started to wax my pr... | 5 | 29.8 | |
1416751736 | 1416946890 | t3_2n6056 | t5_2to41 | 3 | Patrichh: TIFU by drinking in a sauna
So for context I'm a fairly (very) large 18 year old.
Last night I went to the sauna with my 4 best friends and typically when you go to a sauna you also hop in the water to cool and as it is soon December the water is about 2-3°C. I was very reluctant to hop in seeing as I am v... | 3 | 1 | |
1416767752 | 1416772997 | t3_2n6now | t5_2to41 | 45 | KyleOfTheRain: TIFU by almost getting caught masturbating and quickly disposing of my bodily fluids NSFW
It was around 12 in the afternoon, I had just awoken from a very erotic dream in which I had intercourse with several celebrities (Was a fucking great dream). Because of this dream, I had what would be described as ... | 5 | 9 | |
1416769287 | 1416790325 | t3_2n6qco | t5_2to41 | 6 | thatonecantoneseguy: TIFU by accidentally using hand soap as toothpaste
Ok, so I was brushing my teeth in my kitchen because my bathroom was being renovated, and the hand soap in the kitchen is gel-like, like my toothpaste.
So I wasn't paying attention, and then I squirted some soap onto my toothbrush. I started brush... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1416769101 | 1416777730 | t3_2n6q1a | t5_2to41 | 4 | gothefucktosleep: TIFU by getting socks that cost me $675
So I'm at the fucking target next to my work. The store is practically deserted as it's pre- black-friday weekend. I'm quietly browsing the sock section.
It's been a long-ass day. Actually it's been a long-ass week. Earlier, I antipated that they would need m... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1416769606 | 1416862320 | t3_2n6qvf | t5_2to41 | 3,273 | mmm_migas: TIFU by posting a naked picture of myself on Snapchat 'My Story'
Social media nightmare.
My girlfriend and I have a morning routine on the weekends where we drink coffee in bed naked. We call it 'naked coffee.'
She's out of town, so I decided to send her a Snapchat. I took a picture of me, naked, spread ... | 15 | 218.2 | |
1416773566 | 1416776195 | t3_2n6y42 | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by not buying a plunger when the toilet first plugged up
So this was inspired by another redditor's shit disaster.
So this happened this summer while staying in one of those rent someone's apartment deals. After a long difficult day I decided to relieve myself in the apartment's crappy low flow toilet.... | 8 | 2.375 | |
1416773312 | 1416785405 | t3_2n6xma | t5_2to41 | 32 | tightywalterwhiteys: TIFU By being tardy and missing out on a great opportunity
Well I know it's a dull TIFU and you'll probably want to roll your eyes and heckle me for my self pity, but hey man, I need to tell someone what happened last month so I can get over it!
Basically there's this lovely little shop that sell... | 4 | 8 | |
1416773372 | 1416805920 | t3_2n6xqr | t5_2to41 | 1,134 | babytoeboop: TIFU by accidentally giving my gf a dutch oven
This literally happened 5 minutes ago. My girlfriend was in my room talking to me as I lay in bed. I felt a huge fart coming up and decided to securely wrap the blanket around my body so she wouldn't notice. I had successfully ninja-farted into my blankets and... | 9 | 126 | |
1416769357 | 1416776610 | t3_2n6qh0 | t5_2to41 | 9 | everythingoeswrong: TIFU By bumping into a blind girl
This didn't happen today, it was quite awhile ago.
It was around a week after I started going to public school for the first time in almost 3 years (I was homeschooled because of diabetes) and I didn't have the best friends to hang out with, mostly lazy people... | 3 | 3 | |
1416773861 | 1416778113 | t3_2n6yno | t5_2to41 | 20 | Dracoum: TIFU by eating bad chicken
Reddit, I have just realized, I fucked up. As it turns out, the chicken breast I had for lunch had gone slightly bad, and I feel I have condemned myself to a wonderful afternoon face-down in the marvelous porcelain bowl.
As I am typing this now, I am getting worse and worse, knowing... | 11 | 1.818182 | |
1416774249 | 1416829740 | t3_2n6zfd | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting kicked out of summer school before the first day even started..
This did not happen today..It happened a few years ago, Yet it is too good not share.
Grade 10 of high school I did not do to well, and had to take a class during the upcoming summer. Luckily (not) two friends of mine had the sa... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1416772890 | 1416943660 | t3_2n6wt8 | t5_2to41 | 26 | shiroun: TIFU by doing a body shot (NSFW)
So I got drunk with the old lady (girlfriend) on Friday. The day before I'd been bored online and porn surfing. ANYWAY, I come across this video of a guy putting a shot glass in a girls vagina, picking it out and doing the shot.
Naturally, I want to do the same thing. We get s... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1416774940 | 1416944659 | t3_2n70rk | t5_2to41 | 55 | Buy_me_a_model_s: TIFU by using my hands as a doggie poop bag.
So I have a cute and gluttonous dog. She will eat anything that we throw at her and also what happens to be around.
Normally this is never an issue, because we made her realise that what she isn't supposed to eat is always out of reach.
The problem star... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1416777076 | 1416831298 | t3_2n74zo | t5_2to41 | 26 | V3ryL3git: TIFU by having too much sex
So today we hit the proverbial needle that broke my lady's vagina.
Over the course of 5 months we have indulged in the bounty of sexual pleasure on a daily and sometimes twice daily basis.
In the past month her lady bits started to get irritated and made teh sexy time rather unc... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1416777492 | 1416782250 | t3_2n75ru | t5_2to41 | 9 | King_Cactus: TIFU by not washing my hands after cutting habanero peppers.
I'm making burritos with my girlfriend tonight. We bought a variety pack of spicy peppers. I had never encountered habanero peppers before, and after dicing them, I went to the bathroom to take care of some business.
My penis is on fire.
Anyb... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1416782912 | 1416976272 | t3_2n795p | t5_2to41 | 21 | buddhareddit: **Nothing is ever truly deleted from computers or online.**
woof-i-am-a-cat: Throwing your hard-drive into an active volcano is a good way to delete data permanently
buddhareddit: **Yes, but getting to the volcano in time before your girlfriend sees...**
GRRMkills: **I too enjoy bolding all of my comment... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1416779136 | 1416868082 | t3_2n78qi | t5_2to41 | 109 | The_Ace_NA: TIFU by playing Fallout 3 and ordering Pizza at the same time.
Sorta drunk right now, no throwaway.
So it was your average Friday, just chilling out, drinking beer, and playing some Vidya Games.
I was playing Fallout 3 on my 4k TV. God it looks amazing. Surround sound all hooked up and everything.
I'm r... | 7 | 15.571429 | |
1416778667 | 1416792115 | t3_2n77x4 | t5_2to41 | 9 | kerplunkle: TIFU by overloading a cart at Lowes.
I'm mortified, so why not share my story?
I woke up this morning and decided I would finally start /r/declutter nig my house. I've had this tile since July and decided I should take it back to the store.
I loaded one up, drove there and made sure they would accept the ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1416779677 | 1416780933 | t3_2n79nz | t5_2to41 | 7 | joec25: TIFU my kitchen
I'm in university. I had just cooked up a lovely BBQ chicken wrapped in bacon and topped with cheese with some rice and broccoli.
Having left the hob on, without knowing I leave and go to my room to consume said food. However, person A then leaves oven gloves on the hot hob.
5 minutes later...... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1416774687 | 1416785778 | t3_2n709w | t5_2to41 | 23 | KennyGold: TIFU by Trying to be Smooth
So, last night I went on a date with this girl that I met the day before. We hit it off the first time we met and were texting the whole night, and she mentioned that she wanted to watch Mockingjay (it was alright, since it was Part 1 I felt like it was setting up for part 2 mostl... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1416782804 | 1416794035 | t3_2n7f2r | t5_2to41 | 202 | tifucratburn: TIFU by showing the start of a porn to a bunch of 12-13 year olds.
I teach at a middle school. I am a science teacher and I start every class with an interesting video or picture. My plan to show a youtube video on Thursday was foiled by the school's internet filter so I had to download the video and play... | 6 | 33.666667 | |
1416784675 | 1416956931 | t3_2n7iev | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by repeatedly calling a female customer "Sir."
Not today, but happened while working a shift at the restaurant I work at.
Was serving a table of 4. Quickly assumed it was 2 male/female couples, because at a quick glance there was two dresses, and two dinner jackets worn by short haired people.
One of ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1416785783 | 1416845154 | t3_2n7ke6 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a refill.
Today I went to a pizza and gyro place in Manhattan. After I finished my slice, I figured that I would top off my drink, and no one would notice. Unfortunately, one of the employees was right behind me as I did it, and he just pointed to the No Refills sign and said in a quiet voice... | 6 | 2.666667 | |
1416774195 | 1416807017 | t3_2n6zba | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate sharing an Amazon prime membership with my aunt.
[Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2n58f4/tifu_by_sharing_an_amazon_prime_account_with_my/)
So I started another amazon support chat. Here's some of the transcript:
Sandeep(Amazon): Thanks for waiting.
I have checked and found t... | 3 | 2 | |
1416777457 | 1416866275 | t3_2n75pm | t5_2to41 | 7 | _LePancakeMan: TIFU by not looking at the closing time of the parking garage
*(actually not today, but not to long ago)*
- I was out with a girl
- Evening was nice, we spent a long time talking after dinner
- She caught the last train that evening, I was there by car
- Come back to the parking garage (at 23:45) just t... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1416786955 | 1416788529 | t3_2n7mi9 | t5_2to41 | 13 | katklub: TIFU by leaving my snakes cage open just a crack...
I was watering my snake last night, and when putting the top back on his cage I didnt properly center it so it wasnt all the way on. Well... my snake loves to climb and while I slept, he climbed out of his terrarium, fell down off of the dresser he was on, an... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1416788334 | 1416876263 | t3_2n7p1s | t5_2to41 | 16 | TheBaldwinator: TIFU by asking a friend to Google something...
So this happened a few days ago. I was round a friends house, chilling with him, his sister, and two of my brothers all playing Card's against Humanity. For those who don't know this is a fucked up version of fill in the blanks...
We were in the middle of ... | 6 | 2.666667 | |
1416788238 | 1416789649 | t3_2n7ovg | t5_2to41 | 19 | The_Slad: TIFU By letting a dead mouse rot in my room for several days.
Put some mousetraps down, caught one but then after checking everyday for a week and not getting anymore mice, i forgot about them. Well it turns out there's been a dead mouse behind my desk for days and started to stink real bad. No amount of ammo... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1416790302 | 1416791670 | t3_2n7skp | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally drugging myself
Ok, so about six months ago I was helping my sister make something out of these aqua-bead things (The little balls you put in the shape of a picture and then spray water on, causing them to stick together)
Anyway I decided to see what would happen if I put a handful in m... | 3 | 4 | |
1416789683 | 1416894937 | t3_2n7rjz | t5_2to41 | 6 | JrazoV: TIFU By Using my Waterproof Phone in Water
I have a Sony Xperia Z2 an advertised waterproof phone. I work at a pool and finally mustered up the courage to finally use my phone underwater. At first it was great I took a couple super clear pictures on my phone. Then I took it a little deeper from 1ft-3ft took a p... | 6 | 1 | |
1416791286 | 1416792327 | t3_2n7uaf | t5_2to41 | 12 | ukbeerteacher: TIFU by buying beer and getting caught by one of my students
This actually happened yesterday, throwaway because I don't want my students to see this or find out my real Reddit name.
I am a young teacher from Germany in the UK currently and I always try to dress smart for school: In a blazer and a nice... | 4 | 3 | |
1416792140 | 1416896510 | t3_2n7vpj | t5_2to41 | 3,229 | stoptapping: TIFU by tapping it on the train.
I've just arrived at work and am pretty sure I've been bright red for a good 2 hours. So this morning I jumped on the train, plugged in my headphones and prepared myself for the monotony of an hour long train ride. As my headphones are blasting whatever music Spotify threw ... | 11 | 293.545455 | |
1416792087 | 1416808345 | t3_2n7vma | t5_2to41 | 211 | DancingElmo: TIFU by using the app SpinMe.
Unlike most posts on here this actually happened today.
I'll begin by explaining what the app "SpinMe" is all about. It is basically an alarm clock app on your phone that can ONLY be deactivated by placing 2 fingers on opposite ends of the screen and actually spinning around ... | 4 | 52.75 | |
1416793413 | 1416945664 | t3_2n7xvr | t5_2to41 | 85 | zb9194: TIFU by grabbing my gf's titty
This is happening at this exact moment. I'm at her house for the first time. Only met parents once before, and this is my second day here. She was playing Wii, and her mom was cooking dinner. I waited for her mom to turn around, then grabbed my girlfriend's boob (she was cuddling ... | 5 | 17 | |
1416792564 | 1416795651 | t3_2n7wh4 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Vangolish: TIFU by shitting in math class and breaking a friendship
First of all sorry for bad format, and grammar im first time poster and english is 2nd language. Backstory: I had to create an acccount just to post them because I am so embarrased(and ashamed) at the same time. Nobody knows of what I did and I'm super... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1416784936 | 1416799470 | t3_2n7ivj | t5_2to41 | 34 | WID_Call_IT: TIFU by eating instant chicken and pasta.
This started yesterday but ended just a few minutes ago. Not using a throwaway because fuck it.
Last night, my wife made dinner. She was tired and didn't feel like cooking more than a few minutes so we decided the raid our freezer. What we made was one of those in... | 3 | 11.333333 |
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