start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1418887030 | 1418926197 | t3_2pnvqx | t5_2to41 | 6 | HardbodyRef: TIFU by pissing my pants in the car on the way home and then sitting in it for an hour
Kind of a long read, but I still laugh about it as I have kept it to myself. This happened a number of years ago when I was in high school, but I just recently remembered it and figured I would share. Back in high school... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1418889741 | 1418890614 | t3_2pnyme | t5_2to41 | 8 | MrB1gSh0t: TIFU by doing exactly what my sister have asked me not to
So this FU actually happened about a month ago...some background info:me and my sister have a mutual good friend - he throws a party and of course both my sister and I were invited.
Flashforward to the party and the FU itself..my sister tells me she g... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1418889144 | 1418908244 | t3_2pnxz5 | t5_2to41 | 57 | Dragonfly69185: TIFU by being a responsible nice guy
The Where:
NYC company holiday party at a hip joint in Manhattan(read Open Bar)
The Who:
Many drunk 20 somethings(myself included) and their bosses(including the CEO of the whole damn company)
The What:
Co-worker, lets call her Leslie, gets shitfaced and I se... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1418890895 | 1418946266 | t3_2pnzuh | t5_2to41 | 466 | [deleted]: TIFU by showing a girl my naked and afraid body.
This happened moments ago and I am still whimpering and cringing from it.
Back story: A little while ago I met this cute girl and got her Snapchat because she uses an iPod because she doesn't like texting on her "dumb" phone. That is all.
The Story: I enjoy ... | 7 | 66.571429 | |
1418890767 | 1418891569 | t3_2pnzpt | t5_2to41 | 10 | CampbellPlays: TIFU The Shame...
Ok like many other stories this was set a long time ago when I was a kid.
It was like any other day at school, at recess I decided I wanted to eat more now and have less at lunch so I put my lunchbox on the playground jungle gym sort of thing, at lunchtime I realised I never bought it b... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1418892527 | 1418894247 | t3_2po1ho | t5_2to41 | 12 | ForTheWolf24: TIFU by thinking Taco Bell was a good idea
It's 3 am, and I'm currently writing this from the toilet where I'm shitting my fucking brains out for ten minutes. I got together with two friends today because we all just got on Christmas break. We had previously gone to Taco Bell on the reg in high school, ... | 4 | 3 | |
1418894377 | 1418919902 | t3_2po3eh | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling the fuck asleep
This may come off as obsessive, but ive recently met a girl after about a 6 year gap... I kinda like her and she kinda likes me (i think) i met her on the last day of finals which was the 8th for me so, not long at all i know.. Eitherway weve hung out a few times and i feel li... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1418898934 | 1419038653 | t3_2po7zl | t5_2to41 | 4 | Deathwish64: tifu by going to subway...
So today, like I do a lot I went to subway, with some friends.
Only after our meals, we had a great idea for me and one other friend to go halves in a certain sub we'd never tried... A sub with LOTS of jalepinos and LOTS of hot chilli sauce with hot salami toasted.
Well needles... | 4 | 1 | |
1418897818 | 1419244906 | t3_2po6w9 | t5_2to41 | 53 | [deleted]: TIFU on a camping trip that increased police patrols in my neighbourhood
So this happened when I was a teenager, in the epicentre of my pubescent evolution. We were in the height of exam season at the time and to blow off steam we decided to go on a camping trip.
Now, the town I live in is huge, in encompa... | 6 | 8.833333 | |
1418890318 | 1418993695 | t3_2pnz9g | t5_2to41 | 8 | dyckle: TIFU by letting someone turn in front of me
Coming up to a light and a guy was trying to make a left turn. I slowed down and waved to let him turn in front of me. Guy didn't wait for the lane next to me to do the same, next 3 cars piled up into him.
And....
http://giphy.com/gifs/leave-the-scene-yoJC2jp5ACgW... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1418904994 | 1418907749 | t3_2poe2t | t5_2to41 | 4 | AP_Ark: TIFU by brushing my teeth
so happened about 3 minutes ago, its the morning i go and brush my teeth and so i'm brushing and i hit myself in the gum with my own toothbrush because i was brushing too fast. Now my gums are bleeding, sorta and they hurt. So i fucked up.
tldr; Went to brush my teeth and hurt myself.... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1418907825 | 1419035640 | t3_2pohaw | t5_2to41 | 26 | ZWQncyBkaWNr: TIFU by, uh, zipping myself... (nsfw)
Today I fucked up.
First off, two or three days ago, I fucked up as well. I was getting out of the shower, and had forgotten to bring clean boxers upstairs with me. I could hear people in between the bathroom and my bedroom, so I decided to go commando down to my ro... | 11 | 2.363636 | |
1418907739 | 1418909141 | t3_2poh70 | t5_2to41 | 20 | JonnyHa_: TIFU by going to my foot surgery looking and smelling like a hobo
So this actually happened today, I had a scheduled surgery on my feet and I don't have a car. So i decided to order a taxi the night before, for around 12pm today. Nevertheless after a late night of work and my alarm clock giving up on me I wok... | 4 | 5 | |
1418908701 | 1418936376 | t3_2poidc | t5_2to41 | 432 | [deleted]: TIFU by calling my sister a "septic bitch".
This is no accidental fuck up.. This is just me being a horrible human being. Happened about a week ago, but I only realised the gravity of my colossal fuck up today.
My step dad is dying, he has a cancer that doctors suspect started in his bowel but has now sprea... | 13 | 33.230769 | |
1418910886 | 1418975156 | t3_2pol7d | t5_2to41 | 276 | Caeliah: TIFU By Not Putting The Phone Down Correctly.
Reddit. Dear, dear Reddit. Today i fucked up.
I work in administration, i have many calls daily. However today i let the Darwin Disaster of 'Auto Pilot' take over. I was asked by a customer to be put through to their sales representative, which just rang out endle... | 5 | 55.2 | |
1418876139 | 1418958374 | t3_2pnfz4 | t5_2to41 | 6 | IamSpot: TIFU by getting drunk on a trip to Europe
This didn't happen today but rather a few years ago. After graduating from college, I decided I wanted to take the typical American 'backpacking through Europe trip'. A couple friends and I decided to figure out what countries and sights we wanted to see and bought tic... | 3 | 2 | |
1418911507 | 1418920960 | t3_2pom2g | t5_2to41 | 7 | Twin_Brother_Me: TIFU by questioning woman
Started last weekend - man tells woman, "Woman, today man needs to clean Thanksgiving leftovers out of fridge." Woman responds with "No, fridge cleaning is woman's job, woman take care of it after man sleep."
This morning man open fridge, is met by smell like rotting corpses,... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1418915077 | 1418920715 | t3_2porga | t5_2to41 | 4 | Putputputman: TIFU by using the GTS
So, I'm not particularly a Pokemon fanatic or anything, but I do play the games from time to time. Last year I had bought Y and obsessively played it until I rekt Dawthia (spelling?) and felt pretty accomplished. Then this year I bought AS, which I've really hardly played, but it's b... | 4 | 1 | |
1418915427 | 1418916771 | t3_2pos1i | t5_2to41 | 38 | its2ez: TIFU by not preparing and quite possibly blowing the past 2 years of hard work.
I have been working hard on a side project of mine (a browser based game) for the past 2 years of my life. I got so excited about finally releasing it to the world, that I didn't prepare like I should have.
I got a kickstarter goi... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1418914981 | 1418999902 | t3_2poray | t5_2to41 | 3 | Gethaine: TIFU by accidentally farting at a coworker.
I'm not perfect. Among my many imperfections is the casual attitude I take toward farting. I will(most times) try to leave a occupied room if I feel one coming but this time I wasn't given much warning and suddenly, ^*poot*. So I whisper "I just farted a little b... | 3 | 1 | |
1418922971 | 1419017382 | t3_2pou0c | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: haha, she wasn't there plus I was high.
penguinator101: Was she pissed off about it?
[deleted]: haha well, no but yes. She was more disgusted than mad. It's to the point where is on the couch.
i_pk_pjers_i: Why was she disgusted?
[deleted]: I have a feeling I looked like a complete fuck covered in foo... | 10 | 1.4 | |
1418916748 | 1419018237 | t3_2poud6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting involved with an older guy
Basically, I met a guy who was 18 and I was 15 (at the time) like 5 months ago so I'm a soph in high school and he's a freshman in college. We actually kinda knew each other in high school but we started talking only a few months ago. We stopped talking since I wasn... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1418916702 | 1418936607 | t3_2pouaa | t5_2to41 | 119 | princess_pony: TIFU by accidentally pepper spraying an entire bar and ruining my work's Christmas party.
Let me begin by saying this literally happened last night and my face is still stinging as I write this. It was my work’s unofficial Christmas party, and we generally invite both employees and customers due to our g... | 6 | 19.833333 | |
1418918408 | 1418949830 | t3_2pox5l | t5_2to41 | 3,960 | Feltz-: TIFU by eating my sim card
Took out my sim card because my phone was having problems with some updates, so I figured I'd take it out and put it back in and maybe then the updates would start. Well, I did all of this in the kitchen and in between taking it out and putting it back in I spotted some Larry the cabl... | 17 | 232.941176 | |
1418935376 | 1418976957 | t3_2poyn6 | t5_2to41 | 4 | fapcitybish: rules suck :(
DropShocker: Hey Fapcitybish your TIFU made me both cringe and laugh my ass off ;)
fapcitybish: thanks? xD It was pretty bad.
DropShocker: I live in a small town, so if that happened to me in my high school my life would be over.
| 4 | 1 | |
1418917023 | 1418921041 | t3_2pous9 | t5_2to41 | 9 | AnastyNAHA: TIFU By getting drunk
Sorry if this is a bit fucked. I don't post often and I'm on my phone but here it goes.....
This happened about 6 months ago. I had been talking to this really hot chick at work and she seemed very into me. I decided to throw a party that weekend to invite everyone over and figured I... | 3 | 3 | |
1418918085 | 1418932802 | t3_2powjx | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving a negative review.
So my sister buys this car, 2007 with 80k miles for a very steep $16,000 and after a couple months BAM, head gasket goes and the dealership initially says they're not going to do shit for us because it's out of warranty.
So I leave a 1-star review on G+ saying this, and t... | 4 | 3 | |
1418920006 | 1418921078 | t3_2pozy3 | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by enraging the entire nation of Pakistan
Well that's an exaggeration, but that's what it felt like. A few days ago, I saw a frontpage post on Reddit about an Australian gentleman named Tori Johnson, who heroically tried to end a hostage crisis in Sydney by wrestling the gun away from the terrorist.
T... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1418920234 | 1419014033 | t3_2pp0ej | t5_2to41 | 3 | GrmmrCrrctnsWlcmd: TIFU by getting on with my day to day life.
Hedonismal: Why did you leave your post but delete the part that explains it?
GrmmrCrrctnsWlcmd: I didn't. I guess moderators did, because it wasn't a good TIFU-post.
Hedonismal: Isn't that what the voting system is for?
| 4 | 0.75 | |
1418921175 | 1418968093 | t3_2poxbc | t5_2to41 | 11 | ApolloJustic3: Oh it was, It was during the Nele scene. I talked to her and she doesn't seem to know what she saw and she acted pretty normally. I'm still a little paranoid though.
DropShocker: For those who haven't played the game, what happened in the scene?
ApolloJustic3: You fuck lolis. that's the entire premise of... | 7 | 1.571429 | |
1418921267 | 1418925012 | t3_2pp2dz | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU thinking the word necrophiliac meant something else.....(nsfw)
Throwaway account since my best friend introduced me to the subreddit a few months ago. This particular fuck up happened this past May during the first week I started my new job at major health care organization in the U.S. Little bit of ba... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1418923051 | 1418924253 | t3_2pp5t6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | HighUnicorn: TIFU by sending out Christmas cards to my family with a bong in the background.
TIFU by sending out Christmas cards to my family, not realizing there is a bong in clear sight in the background of one of the pictures. Hopefully no one notices...
mrmooocow4: [No... picture?](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JiWl4-K... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1418921791 | 1418933131 | t3_2pp3fn | t5_2to41 | 4 | coolcrushkilla: TIFU well last month...
I was a correctional officer for this shitty little jail. This one inmate was bothering me the whole night, just trying to piss off every officer on duty that night. I was about to open a door when this inmate stopped me from opening it all the way with his foot. It was ten minut... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1418921200 | 1418983861 | t3_2pp29b | t5_2to41 | 101 | SaltyWenchThrowaway: TIFU by begging a devastatingly handsome pirate to plunder me booty.
I think this qualifies as happening today because it was the wee hours of the morning. For a little backstory, I've recently been watching the show "Once Upon A Time". It's a terrible show, I know, save your judgement for later. A... | 5 | 20.2 | |
1418923365 | 1418950015 | t3_2pp6hs | t5_2to41 | 22 | KHHAAAAAAANNN: TIFU by taking my mother-in-law shopping.
So let me tell you about yesterday’s adventure.
We went down into the city for some shopping – Father-in-law had the good sense to stay home so it was just me, wife and mother-in-law (MIL). After a few shops and a hipster beard trim (looking sharp, thanks for as... | 8 | 2.75 | |
1418922857 | 1418963061 | t3_2pp5gr | t5_2to41 | 8 | heartbrokebloke: TIFU by falling too far, too fast
I am writing about this heartbreak because it is still fresh. I hope this will help me. I don't date much, mostly because I'm a shy guy so meeting girls doesn't happen often. Luckily I, I thought, I met a girl. We were talking. We were heavy. She was beautiful and my h... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1418922695 | 1418958987 | t3_2pp55w | t5_2to41 | 130 | JesusHadAnAegis: TIFU for being racist unknowingly
This just happened today.. A little background.. I go to an International school so we have a pretty diverse culture. This is my first year at this school in sophomore year. I'm Chinese and hang out with (you guessed it) the other Chinese people here; being an internat... | 5 | 26 | |
1418922977 | 1419432924 | t3_2pp5od | t5_2to41 | 41 | Moist-muffinz: TIFU by forgetting there was a blind kid in my class
TIFU by being loud and forgetting how stupid I can be. Today not 5 minutes ago I was in my socials class, we had to act out some inventions from the industrial revolution. Well after me and my friends finished only one person knew what we were, and the... | 12 | 3.416667 | |
1418924498 | 1419078366 | t3_2pp8pd | t5_2to41 | 303 | Tejibz: TIFU: By getting reddit block on my schools internet.
Today my network administrator was in my class and saw me browsing reddit on my phone, he said "what are you on?" I stupidly say "o reddit." He then say well it looks distracting so he blocked it on the schools internet, my whole school is full of redditors ... | 9 | 33.666667 | |
1418919554 | 1419028568 | t3_2poz3l | t5_2to41 | 141 | Mellon95: TIFU by not thinking before I speak
So, I work at a checkout at a grocery store, today a guy came up to the checkout, unloaded his basket like normal and was nodding away to his earphones, I go about things as usual and start scanning his stuff whilst I witness him struggle with a bag for a few seconds, witho... | 6 | 23.5 | |
1418925503 | 1418941619 | t3_2ppaq4 | t5_2to41 | 639 | mnstre: TIFU by checking my self into the hospital
Just to be know I'm a veteran with a few deployments under my belt.
Well recently I've been having trouble sleeping, having nightmares, panic attacks when I would go out in public, etc. So these past few days it has gotten almost uncontrollable. I've been extremely v... | 7 | 91.285714 | |
1418922937 | 1418995499 | t3_2pp5lu | t5_2to41 | 8 | RisinFenix86: TIFU by eating 2 whole bags of extra hot flaming hot cheetos
I felt like a sriracha dispenser at 4am, 5am, & 6am.
Sweet_peaches_69: Takis are better.
RisinFenix86: never had those? MUST TRY! where I get this
Sweet_peaches_69: At your local 7/11 probably
darrius500: You know something, I've never seen ... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1418911417 | 1419026209 | t3_2polya | t5_2to41 | 4 | Zabuden: TIFU by laughing in class
Alright, so this fuck up happened a couple of years ago, before I stumbled upon the gloriousness that is reddit. I was in class in my freshman year of high school. I was a naive little soul back at that time, so innocent, so young.
My American government teacher was the most eccentr... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1418927461 | 1418985428 | t3_2ppeu2 | t5_2to41 | 190 | webegettinitinn69: TIFU by kicking a door spartan style
So this happened a few hours ago. I was helping my SO move out from her apartment which is on the fourth floor, no elevator. After a few rounds up and down the stairs with heavy shit I'm getting tired and a bit bored. So anyway on my way down with a headboard and ... | 6 | 31.666667 | |
1418927693 | 1418934671 | t3_2ppfae | t5_2to41 | 7 | ThrowawayformehTIFU: TIFU by Fucking Up twice today
So yeah, made finally a throwaway because I have lots of Fuck Up's.
As the Title says: IFU twice today. #longtimelurker #excusemyenglishnotanativespeaker
So number 1. I've been Friends with this one Girl, lets call her Jane, since Kindergarten / Elementaryschool. We ... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1418927942 | 1418929211 | t3_2ppft7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | throwaway999836: TIFU by going through my casual partners phone
I am officially a monster. That and getting the geen eyed one stuck in my head. So I'd been seeing a girl who told me in no uncertain terms we were casual and she was seeing other people, for around five months.
Only being an asshat, the more intimate we g... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1418924459 | 1419073724 | t3_2pp8mq | t5_2to41 | 8 | JustPrincess: TIFU by leaving my purse in a Greyhound bus
Sooo, two days ago, I pulled an all nighter studying and took my last final. An hour later, I hopped on a Greyhound bus home.
I put my suitcase in the luggage area under the bus and made a mental note not to forget it. I slept on my backpack and carried my pu... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1418922139 | 1418929578 | t3_2pp45x | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU... By making a disabled person believe my 11 year old daughter and I were poking fun at him.
TIFU, well actually last night but whatever. So last night I needed to take my 11 year old daughter to get a gift for her secret santa gift exchange for school. We leave the house to go but, I needed to stop and... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1418927582 | 1419122955 | t3_2ppf2p | t5_2to41 | 790 | darkwombat42: TIFU by fixing the bathroom sink while not fully awake
This misadventure starts out slow, but keep reading, I think you will find it worthwhile.
Our guest bathroom sink had been developing a steadily worsening leak. I am far from a handyman, but I sometimes manage to fix minor issues around the house w... | 7 | 112.857143 | |
1418929018 | 1418931882 | t3_2pphyv | t5_2to41 | 5 | worstadviceforyou: TIFU by eating an "acorn"
This happened just a few minutes ago. To start it off my friend gave me an acorn that she had gotten from Big Bear (mountains in California) she also gave the person sitting next to me an acorn as well. We looked at each other and made a deal. If I win at Rock Paper Scissors... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1418928991 | 1419000213 | t3_2pphx9 | t5_2to41 | 21 | monkeypowah: TIFU :By getting locked in a car with my claustrophobic wife
This may seem ridiculous but I can assure you it is true ..we were shopping in my sister in laws Kia Ceed and she got out leaving me and the wife in the car, she absent mindidly operated the fob locking us in, being an experienced car fixer I sim... | 7 | 3 | |
1418929614 | 1419068797 | t3_2ppj90 | t5_2to41 | 17 | clefevre16: TIFU By Giving In to Peer Pressure
This fuck up was a few months from posting.
So I am on the cross country team and their are a few HOT girls on it. So my friends and I are running behind these girls and they are saying who they think is hot my best friends, lets call him Tim, said that he thought "Britta... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1418930061 | 1419058479 | t3_2ppk84 | t5_2to41 | 28 | cballsohard: TIFU by buying a brand new android.
This is probably my most shameful fuck up of this decade. I've always loved android and fancy phones, but due to my family's low income, I've never been able to own one. Recently my brother and his family joined t-mobile and got the family plan with 4 lines and, since he... | 8 | 3.5 | |
1418928572 | 1418933620 | t3_2pph25 | t5_2to41 | 13 | MarkReadsReddit: TIFU fart story read by me
arduinogeek: Please Please tell me you are going to reed more TIFU. I have tried over and over to read some of these aloud and can never maintain composure.
PS
I almost shit myself.
MarkReadsReddit: If the people want it, it shall be done.
| 3 | 4.333333 | |
1418930465 | 1418970478 | t3_2ppl16 | t5_2to41 | 61 | immrpixel: TIFU when A User wiped our Level 30 character Destiny
Hi guys, first post!
Now this is actually my brother's TIFU, but I'm posting it for him.
Anyways, I haven't been in the very best mood lately, and here's why:
Well, I let my 11 year old brother play on my Destiny character for a few hours and it was pr... | 6 | 10.166667 | |
1418925420 | 1418974377 | t3_2ppakc | t5_2to41 | 10 | Shadowcamz: TIFU by sending my Best friends sister a snap-chat in the loo.
Before I begin, I love reading TIFU whilst at work. Makes my days seem brilliant!
So this actually happened today, Nice short story.
Now to have some context I've only had my phone maybe 3 weeks. Never had a contract before so never bothered w... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1418932088 | 1418937890 | t3_2ppoam | t5_2to41 | 14 | BrinkBreaker: TIFU by being dyslexic and mistaking my shift at my new job with one the day before.
I just started at a new job last week and we use an online resource to do our scheduling. I just finished my on the job training and entered my probationary period. Anddddd I fucked up. My shift yesterday was 1600-2000 an... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1418934710 | 1418946211 | t3_2pptqv | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by dunking half of my penis in the toilet water
So I was with my mum at our local supermarket when I felt the urge to go poop. I went to the toilet and as I sat down without a care in the world I felt my penis get wet and cold in the most disgusting way possible. Turns out this was one of THOSE toilets ... | 3 | 2 | |
1418936696 | 1418938443 | t3_2ppxxk | t5_2to41 | 4 | 2KillARedditor: TIFU by setting a reminder to creampie my girlfriend.
So well taking a break from work this morning, I took off my glasses do dick around on my phone (I'm short sighted). My girlfriend comes into the room, asks what I'm doing and proceeds to collapse on my desk in exasperation from the stupid shit on my... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1418936800 | 1418955025 | t3_2ppy55 | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU By Getting An Expulsion From My Entire School District
**(14:55, Thursday, December 18th, 2014)**
*PutThatCatDown please come down to the main office, and bring your device*
Oh shit. What the fuck did I do. I haven't slept in three days. Everyone is demanding to be let known what happened. What the fu... | 6 | 2.666667 | |
1418934978 | 1419006538 | t3_2ppubf | t5_2to41 | 15 | likelygettingfired: TIFU by having a few (or more) too many drinks at the office party
TIFU by not being able to handle my alcohol.
A little background first. After bouncing around between a couple of jobs at small firms for my first few years out of law school, I've managed to remain employed with the same firm for ... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1418938461 | 1418940613 | t3_2pq1lt | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by searching my sister's dresser
Recently, my mom was assigned jury duty. This means that she gets home late, and I arrive at my house before anybody else.
My sister steals stuff from me, so I think it's a good time to try to find some of the stolen items, I go through the drawers on her dresser from ... | 13 | 0.769231 | |
1418939253 | 1418999204 | t3_2pq370 | t5_2to41 | 20 | ifeellikehittinawall: TIFU by writing a poem. What am I, 11?
I've been dating this lady recently. We're both in our late 20's. I'm fairly vocal about compliments and affection. She's out of town right now. Last night we had a nice chat on the phone before she went to bed.
Well, I suppose I've been thinking about her a... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1418937429 | 1419008641 | t3_2ppzgz | t5_2to41 | 37 | silver_sean: TIFU by farting in a movie theatre
I feel I need to start by saying that this unfortunate event actually occurred several years back and the FU actually happened to my brother - but the story is still priceless and a monster FU nonetheless. I was around 14 at the time, which would make my little brother 11... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1418939109 | 1418942729 | t3_2pq2wk | t5_2to41 | 42 | AlwaysTooFastTooSoon: TIFU by disclosing my virginity and ruining my first make out session...in my 20s
On a date with this great girl and she comes over to watch old TV shows. We have a lot of things in common, she's beautiful, and for the first time in a year I felt as though I had met a dream girl (and I never fall ... | 6 | 7 | |
1418939554 | 1418942537 | t3_2pq3sa | t5_2to41 | 4 | CyanStatic: TIFU by making jerky out of my little friend
DwarfofChaos: Removed as per Rule 11 sorry, Please repost on the weekend. :)
CyanStatic: What is rule 11? I'm on mobile and can't find rules.
DwarfofChaos: Basically, Any posts centred around Defecation or sexual content (In this case masturbation) are permitted... | 4 | 1 | |
1418939930 | 1418944960 | t3_2pq4ih | t5_2to41 | 42 | xxxmasPackage: TIFU by using amazon's default shipping
Technically I did this last week, but I just discovered this now.
I have a new girlfriend whom is coming to visit for Christmas (YEAH!) and I'm totally excited and planning all sorts of new sexy times... and wanting to put the XXX in xmas I go to amazon and get a ... | 3 | 14 | |
1418940650 | 1418942502 | t3_2pq5zm | t5_2to41 | 8 | PerpetualCamel: TIFU by forgetting my wallet at home.
Reddit, I don't know what to say. Before I go into this, I really just need someone, anyone, to tell me this wasn't my fault.
Today, we started finals at my school. I had to wake up an hour earlier than usual, so I was very tired while I was getting ready. As you c... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1418943658 | 1418972662 | t3_2pqbw4 | t5_2to41 | 25 | karlkarl93: TIFU by accidentally stapleing my thumb.
I was sitting infront of my computer, watching some random YouTube video and I was playing around with a stapler. I was opening it up, snapping it shut repeatedly until I heard the sound of the stapler shoot out a staple, shortly after I felt a sharp pain in my thumb... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1418947200 | 1418967275 | t3_2pqihw | t5_2to41 | 112 | Willmasaur: TIFU by accidentally restarting our entire online game server network, kicking out every single user and destroying their games.
FUCK, I actually feel like mashing my face repeatedly into my keyboard right now.
I'm a developer working for a company whose main product is an online multiplayer strategy game.... | 4 | 28 | |
1418947439 | 1418997553 | t3_2pqiyg | t5_2to41 | 17 | wrectangle: TIFU ... on a motorcycle.
Today was a nice day so I decide to take my motorcycle to work. So I suit up with pants, jacket, helmet etc then I'm off.
Well wasn't that great I go to grab my phone and my pocket is unzipped it takes me a minute before I realized what happened. My phone fell out of my pocket ... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1418948358 | 1419013839 | t3_2pqkoa | t5_2to41 | 318 | Mandang23o: TIFU by going to yoga for the first time
Did a reasonably fit guy go to yoga today? Yes. Did said guy wear tight shorts? Yes. Did they rip while bending over and spreading my legs? Yes. Was he wearing underwear? No. Is his ass hairy? Yes.
Edit: paid the gym membership fee for the year upfront. Have to retu... | 7 | 45.428571 | |
1418948695 | 1418949367 | t3_2pql8z | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by implying a girl wasn't texting me because she died
I texted "Have you died?" obviously as a joke. Turns out her only living grandfather had died. Guess I'm not getting into that gloryhole any time soon.
I know it's not that big of a fuck up, but for the boring life I have it's something pretty remar... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1418949760 | 1419005109 | t3_2pqn0e | t5_2to41 | 7,614 | wesleyabrams: TIFU By Telling my HS Biology Teacher That She Had a Nice Ass
Okay, time for some background and disclosure. My Biology teacher (we'll call her "Kate"), is hot. I don't mean this in a "I want to have sex with her" way, but rather a "I'd like to unzip her genes" way (yes, I got that off the internet). Eith... | 15 | 507.6 | |
1418952264 | 1418953490 | t3_2pqrg7 | t5_2to41 | 20 | ChiefBigJohnson: TIFU by participating in Reddit Secret Santa
I'm sure we are all familiar with Reddit Secret Santa. Well, I've been wanting to do it for quite some time now and finally have the spare money to participate in it this year. I live with my girlfriend and she went out with her friends today while I was out... | 7 | 2.857143 | |
1418947822 | 1418955391 | t3_2pqjog | t5_2to41 | 27 | moonmoons: TIFU: By taking my son to see Santa again.
For the last two years I have taken him to see Santa. These are the results:
[Last year](http://i.imgur.com/061YkJS.jpg?1)
[This year](http://i.imgur.com/NxclU9m.jpg?1)
Both times we waited in line for over an hour.
delay_nomore: Do it every year as long as possi... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1418953394 | 1418970130 | t3_2pqteu | t5_2to41 | 13 | apachestop: TIFU By letting a friend on
I play a mobile game called Clash of Clans (sue me lol) and I let my friend link my account to his phone. My base is jumbled up, I have lost 1100 trophies, 700 gems miraculously disappeared, and my army is gone. What do I do...
Reaseyreasey: Class action lawsuit. Peoples court
ap... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1418954233 | 1418987695 | t3_2pqus3 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by texting this guy at 7 in the damn morning.
I love the snow. Like, a lot. So when I went on a date with this guy in November during a projected snowfall that never showed, we joked about it and laughed and I thought we kinda hit it off. We didn't go out again, but it seemed to be legit scheduling issu... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1418947026 | 1418968334 | t3_2pqi5r | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by sitting on my brand new I7-4790K
Simple enough, one of my ferrets must of somehow moved the box for the part (that I had not opened yet) under my bedsheets, and I sat down. I hoped that it was okay, but turned out I broke it in half. $299 down the tube!
ThisTooShallPass14: How the hell do you break a... | 3 | 2 | |
1418955861 | 1419008190 | t3_2pqxjc | t5_2to41 | 36 | spitsnshatters: TIFU by spitting on a hot light bulb
This was almost twenty years ago. I loved reading books as a teenager, and would stay up hours after the rest of my family reading a dusty old 1st edition AD&D players handbook.
I had a gooseneck clamp-on lamp that I had hooked on the side of my bed. One night, ... | 6 | 6 | |
1418955846 | 1418959170 | t3_2pqxie | t5_2to41 | 31 | LovablePanty: TIFU by Falling in Love at First Sight
Okay Reddit, this is my first post ever. I am scared. :3 It's not the most super exciting thing, but I think it's funny. Okay, so here we go.
So I work at an apartment and I lease at a front desk so I'm the first person someone sees. I have to take precautions in tr... | 6 | 5.166667 | |
1418955845 | 1419261711 | t3_2pqxia | t5_2to41 | 367 | redonculous: TIFU by being an accidental burglar
I came home for the holidays, all the family are at my parents house, plus my brothers new SOs, which means there are no beds for me.
My mum has arranged for me to stay with a neighbour. It's a small town out in the sticks, everyone knows everyone else.
I arrive late... | 5 | 73.4 | |
1418956194 | 1418958201 | t3_2pqy35 | t5_2to41 | 166 | cheapearphones595: Tifu by sneezing on the toilet
This happened after I got home from work today, and I got home like any normal day and sat down on my porcelain throne to take my evening dump.
I've been battling a runny nose as the weather changes have been quite bipolar, and as a result I've gotten a cold.
I fini... | 3 | 55.333333 | |
1418958265 | 1419012765 | t3_2pr1mh | t5_2to41 | 340 | Miker_Z: TIFU by yelling that I sold drugs in a Supermarket
So long story short, I had a lot of cash lying around (~$400 USD) in 20s, 10s and 5s.
Anyways, I decide I'm going to go to the supermarket (Raley's/Bel-Air) and buy a bunch of gift cards for my family for Christmas. The store is insanely crowded. I pick o... | 14 | 24.285714 | |
1418958088 | 1418959543 | t3_2pr1c2 | t5_2to41 | 4 | Deep_In_You: TIFU by trying to put a password on my WiFi.
So, I'm an idiot and thought me and my roommate needed a password to connect to our WiFi. I think to myself, "it can't be that hard I'll figure it out myself". Well, I Google how and punch in the numbers in the web address which brings me to the DLink website. I... | 4 | 1 | |
1418958585 | 1418959385 | t3_2pr27i | t5_2to41 | 9 | tenbits: TIFU by enabling 2-factor auth on my Google account... with my Google Voice number
I decided to be responsible and change my Google account password today! I decided to be even more responsible and try out SMS-based 2-factor authentication. The problem was, **I reflexively used my Google Voice number.**
Since... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1418961177 | 1419002861 | t3_2pr6g7 | t5_2to41 | 4 | phantasma-gorical: TIFU by shoving my friend's parking ticket into oblivion
My friend drove me downtown and parked in a parking garage. He had a lot to carry, so he placed the ticket 1/4 of the way into the CD drive while grabbing his things, simultaneously asking me to put it in my wallet. I reach for the little paper... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1418962235 | 1418966907 | t3_2pr87p | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost choking my friend to death
So me and my pals wrestle occasionally..
Let me preface this by saying that I grew up with two older brothers who weren't afraid to leave me half dead, and as a result when I get adrenaline pumped I go into a batshit insane mode where I really can't think.
This sta... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1418962275 | 1419009157 | t3_2pr8aq | t5_2to41 | 47 | no_talent_ass_clown: TIFU receiving a gift.
I met my dad today for lunch and he gave me my Christmas presents early.
He handed me a Tiffany bag. I love Tiffany stuff, so I was excited. He gave me a pair of silver earrings a few years back and I wear them a lot. The box looked like a necklace, but I don't wear necklac... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1418962416 | 1418993871 | t3_2pr8iu | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by not realizing the front of the school was open.
So, today I had a soccer practice to attend, and had just eaten some grilled cheese with bacon in it. In the past I have recently not liked the combination of cheese/bacon because it has upset my stomach before, but recently I've started to eat it again... | 7 | 1.857143 | |
1418964260 | 1418969707 | t3_2prba6 | t5_2to41 | 7 | Mindwalkers: TIFU by trying to get a credit card
So I moved country about 2 years ago and I didn't get a new credit card when I arrived. My friend recommended a great one with Citi Bank that has air miles and shit - loads of bonus stuff for signing up blah blah blah. All very good. I got my ID & proof of address t... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1418965292 | 1418966395 | t3_2prcw3 | t5_2to41 | 12 | randr101: TIFU by turning off refrigerator that stores lots of food while on vacation
So 2 days ago I just depart to Germany on vacation. I unplug everything just to save bills. Because I was on a hurry I didn't even realize that I unplug my fridge. The fridge stores lots of frozen food, some eggs, and sauce(peanut sau... | 6 | 2 | |
1418962763 | 1418965825 | t3_2pr90l | t5_2to41 | 8 | Areyeesure: TIFU By combining Chipotle, chapped lips, and Urine
This is hella embarrassing...
It was but a couple of weeks ago (a tremendous fuck up nonetheless) that this unfortunate incident occurred. I being the introvert little reddit surfer I am, this was bound to happen. My family and I were taking a trip up to ... | 4 | 2 | |
1418966584 | 1418967944 | t3_2prewh | t5_2to41 | 12 | Sharknose1: TIFU by being accidentally racist
TIFU when walking over Waterloo Bridge in London (which gives you a great view of the city sky line) and my friend asked me where was the building they filmed The Apprentice in. I pointed over to it and said "over there, it's a big slanty one" just as a large man of orienta... | 3 | 4 | |
1418969103 | 1418971407 | t3_2pripm | t5_2to41 | 9 | SosoZoso: TIFU by telling someone they were really high.
Let me preface by stating I believe I'm a fairly perceptive person. I'm a pizza delivery driver at the moment, and have, so far, seen more than I ever thought I would doing this job. Nudity, Crazy, infirm... you name it. I deliver most to beloved Ents. As a past ... | 3 | 3 | |
1418971284 | 1418981239 | t3_2prltk | t5_2to41 | 5 | RandomCow909: TIFU by drinking a glass of whiskey and a glass of vodka before school
So the korra final just aired at 5 o'clock over here in england and i had made sushi and some drinks to go along with it now this would have been fine to drink at 5 as i would be fine by 8:30 when i go in however the final was so good ... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1418971564 | 1419020037 | t3_2prm7e | t5_2to41 | 451 | TwoTapLuke: TIFU by trying to slap my friend with a dildo.
This literally happened tonight and I am male. I was at a friend's house for a Christmas/End of School Party and we had a "white elephant" gift exchange. This exchange included a multitude of sexual items such as condoms, sex dolls, and a dildo known as the "To... | 6 | 75.166667 | |
1418972902 | 1419044635 | t3_2prnsp | t5_2to41 | 9 | RendeRiot: TIFU by being too nice.
stfupcakes: Is your boyfriend geeky? Dorky? What does he like? PM me, I'll help you work out a surprise for Christmas. :D :D :D
RendeRiot: I really hope youre just asking to help me find something for him rather than go to the extents of sending something D:
But I did PM you with s... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1418974549 | 1418986705 | t3_2prpox | t5_2to41 | 10 | ChocolateCrepe: TIFU by adding someone and then blocking them on skype.
Well, this didn't really happen today but a few weeks ago.
I live stream League of Legends and used to be quite popular so people would always try to add my Facebook, Skype, etc. I never added anyone but I did make the mistake of leaving my Fa... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1418955635 | 1419000324 | t3_2pqx51 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing in a glass bottle
Okay this is definitely one of those stories that required minor details to make sense and rather than have a ton of questions asked later I'll just add most of them right now so stick with me. Or don't. The payoff isn't worth the cost here honestly.
About a month ago, we dem... | 3 | 2.666667 |
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