start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1419481477 | 1420283716 | t3_2qc7mf | t5_2to41 | 925 | tifujhg: TIFU by not checking on the kids that I was watching
I live on a block with lots of kids. Being a single guy, it's kinda fun because I usually end up throwing the football with them or joining in a game of street hockey. One the moms asked me if I could watch her 11yo son and his friends so she could pick up h... | 10 | 92.5 | |
1419482806 | 1419483993 | t3_2qc9br | t5_2to41 | 3 | Fhyrestar: TIFU by being honest. TIFU hard.
Alright, so to whom this is concerned (or at least, one of the people I was honest to might read this): Fuck off. You're a serious dick, and the only reason I'm being nice to you is for (insert female name (IFN)).
Okay. So, I have a massive crush on one of my best friends, ... | 3 | 1 | |
1419483393 | 1419524211 | t3_2qca3m | t5_2to41 | 19 | keeplayer109: TIFU by mailing my girlfriend her Christmas present.
I bought my girlfriend's Christmas present on Amazon. It arrived today At her parents house. Her family has a tradition of opening presents on Christmas eve. She opened the box only to find, the tag that was attached to the item and no item. I filed a c... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1419484073 | 1419487915 | t3_2qcb4h | t5_2to41 | 7 | Halvanhelev: TIFU Christmas Edition. Making a child cry his eyes out on christmas day
This happened christmas eve day a few years ago. Me and a couple of friends were casually walking around town (as you do as a teenager) were talking, laughing, joking around. My friend turns to me and says "guess what santa left me th... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1419485410 | 1419571329 | t3_2qccvm | t5_2to41 | 317 | Julesmagules: TIFU by rubbing edible laxative on a cats rectum
So my mom tells me this funny story a minute ago, I had to share. I'm all about redditt's "today I f**cked up", and this one takes the cake.
My cat Stanley was just at the vet about a week ago after eating several wrapping-present strings, so my ma took hi... | 5 | 63.4 | |
1419484298 | 1419486272 | t3_2qcbes | t5_2to41 | 9 | usfchem: TIFU by scarring my innocent grandmother for sarcastically suggesting a movie.
This happened at around 9 PM tonight. My family (immediate, aunts, and uncles) all meet up at my grandparents house every Christmas eve and celebrate. Our tradition every year is watch "A Christmas story" and we did. My grandmother ... | 3 | 3 | |
1419486831 | 1419496680 | t3_2qceld | t5_2to41 | 11 | mydaddyisadrunkass: TIFU by getting my neighbor in trouble on Christmas morning
A few years ago, but we were just reminiscing.
My sister's neighbor was a dear friend for many years and a sweet nut about Christmas: baking, decorating, the whole nine yards.
A few years ago she got a pair of lit reindeer for the yard. O... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1419488075 | 1419490299 | t3_2qcg55 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Some_Man_Person: TIFU by accidentally telling some children that Santa wasn't real.
This tifu happened earlier this evening, so I'm still feeling terrible about the whole thing.
So earlier today, my family met up with some of their friends went to a local restaurant after a Christmas Eve ceremony at Church. The group ... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1419487860 | 1419503169 | t3_2qcfvz | t5_2to41 | 12 | JonnyEh: TIFU by being racist during Christmas Eve dinner.
I am writing this an hour after this happened and I'm still recovering from embarrassment. So it's Christmas Eve dinner, we finished eating and my family is sitting in the living room talking. Now in my family we have my sister, mom and dad, 3 cousins, uncle, a... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1419489065 | 1419489769 | t3_2qchbl | t5_2to41 | 50 | PMmeyoursandwich: TIFU up by grabbing a woman's boobs....
Today, I fucked up by grabbing a woman's boobs. I was at a friends house earlier this evening for a birthday party slash Christmas party. I was hanging out with this girl I met and we were talking to another girl and she mentioned she had fake boobs, I really wa... | 3 | 16.666667 | |
1419489609 | 1419494540 | t3_2qchy8 | t5_2to41 | 23 | dimwit8: TIFU by not paying attention to detail
This story happened a few years ago but I just remembered it today.
When I was a Freshmen in High School my friends convinced me to join chorus. Personally, I hate singing because I don’t have a voice of an angel and I was already in orchestra so I didn’t think I needed ... | 10 | 2.3 | |
1419488305 | 1419548587 | t3_2qcgfj | t5_2to41 | 45 | lyolaviola: TIFU by hitting a pregnant mother in the face with a wooden ball
Hello. Before this tale starts let me clarify I'm an awkward, 16 year old guy so I'm not too good with dealing with people.
It happened yesterday, a trip to the beach. This was brilliant as I was just bored around the house, fixing up my ai... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1419449050 | 1419510781 | t3_2qaw95 | t5_2to41 | 2 | CreepyMinerLance: TIFU by tobogganing down a hill full of snow ramps built by teenagers backwards
This happened 2 years ago. Whoop de motherfucking doo. Anyway, I always NEED to go tobogganing during winter break when I'm off school, and this year there's no snow and I'm pissed as shit. Anyway, 2 years ago I went to th... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419490276 | 1419531386 | t3_2qcimx | t5_2to41 | 2 | TeqTime: TIFU by ramming my finger into my laptop's screen
Well this one is short one, I just recently subscribed to r/creepy and low and behold I noticed a small blemish on my screen while reading a post on the subreddit.
Being the type of guy who has OCD, I took my finger to rub off the blemish on my screen. I kept... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419491153 | 1419492903 | t3_2qcjlt | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing anal with my girlfriend (NSFW)
I loved my girlfriend's ass so much. I always wanted to perform anal sex with her, but I was unsure if she was prepared to satisfy my somewhat taboo desires. On several occasions, I came dangerously close to making the proposal; alas, my anxiety invariably got the... | 10 | 1.1 | |
1419490699 | 1419502349 | t3_2qcj4l | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU By relapsing on Chewing Tobacco
Im back home for break and havent thrown a lipper in about a month a half, but I was out drinking with friends and bought a tin. Today after a nice christmas dinner I went to bed put on Netflix and decided to pack a lip, about a minute later my mom walks into my room and ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1419490784 | 1419501458 | t3_2qcj7r | t5_2to41 | 8 | Syrus_Black: TIFU by going to see a friend of the family because he is alone for Christmas.
So my Christmas spirit is now jacked. We have had a rough few months. Between changing jobs, car dying, having to feed two kids and my wife on a now meager salary,my Christmas spirit was a guttering flame this season. Hell, we h... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1419492006 | 1419502697 | t3_2qckhl | t5_2to41 | 8 | senpai_go_away: TIFU by prank calling my teacher and pretending to be a prostitute and in the process made all my friends lose trust in each other.
Well, let me explain. I'm not one of those kids that bunk classes and roam around, but i'm also not one of those kids that sits on the first bench of the class and take not... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1419495015 | 1419546577 | t3_2qcnbv | t5_2to41 | 52 | mrbeefy0: TIFU eating by eating a beefy treat....
http://imgur.com/8Q8PEug
I apologize in advance in case I missed a rule about posting this here.
I went to my buds house last night and smoked a bowl full of keif. Naturally I got the munchies and decided to raid his pantry. I couldn't decide what I wanted to eat out... | 4 | 13 | |
1419481313 | 1419524706 | t3_2qc7ed | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by reporting my car stolen.
Home from school for the holidays. Decide to go out to the bar. Drive my car there and park it across the street in an empty parking lot. I could have walked from my house (20mins) but it was raining, I figured I would get hammered and stumble home cause I will give 0 fucks a... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1419499188 | 1419530860 | t3_2qcqw4 | t5_2to41 | 10 | ayjayred: TIFU by letting my younger sister use my Mac Notebook via Guest User Account...
She downloaded all the files from her SLR to my Mac in the hopes of temporarily transferring the images and giving more space to her SLR camera.
The problem was that I made her use the Guest User Account on my Mac. I did not ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1419499765 | 1419513240 | t3_2qcrbf | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by multitasking.
Happened a few years ago.
Was pooping at work (I was a librarian), started peeing at the same time. Sneezed. Overwhelmed by sensory input, I inhaled deeply, which made me swallow my gum. Started choking (still pooping+peeing). Proceed to vomit all over myself. Coworker (whom I had crus... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419501280 | 1419538697 | t3_2qcsgv | t5_2to41 | 34 | bashfulbr: TIFU by using Nair
I wanted to give some good loving for Christmas. Something kinky, to be naughty for him. Like a good Brazilian, I wanted my lady parts to be nice and smooth. I took a big trip not too long ago and I will be restarting college soon, so I don't have a lot of spare money. The only way I could... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1419501135 | 1419517235 | t3_2qcsd4 | t5_2to41 | 6 | DogClawed: TIFU by relieving myself during "Silent Night"
So I was at church, X-mas eve service and such, and I had to go BAD. It got to the point where I just had to go to the restroom. Sadly, the service had already started and the bathroom is right by the entrance to the sanctuary (so if it is quiet enough, people c... | 3 | 2 | |
1419505821 | 1419534528 | t3_2qcvsm | t5_2to41 | 2,875 | pigironer: TIFU by having a huge ready-to-pop pimple on the side of my face
Ok, so let's start by saying that I don't like popping pimples, because I'm afraid they will leave scars or holes on my face.
Story time....
So last night, I was at a christmas party, enjoying myself eating good food, opening nice gifts, etc.... | 13 | 221.153846 | |
1419506519 | 1419507178 | t3_2qcwb2 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Lolcatz101: TIFU by snooping on my exs page and gloating about it :(
So recently, I just got out of a terrible relationship, I mean I didn't even feel like I loved this girl anymore, I dragged it on and on for a year and three months, and I finally just broke up with her yesterday morning around midnight-ish... and aft... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419511779 | 1419521823 | t3_2qd03v | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my x-mas present in the first 15 minutes of getting it...
So this happened less than half an hour ago, unwrapping presents and shit when I unwrap my new phone, I've finally left the stone age of phones.... nope... So I swap over SIM cards online rendering my old SIM useless and go to insert ... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1419514377 | 1419516093 | t3_2qd28y | t5_2to41 | 10 | brrandie: TIFU by forgetting a major Christmas tradition
Everything was a tight squeeze for Christmas this year. With careful budgeting (I didn't think it was going to happen), I managed to get groceries for the week and everything we needed for Christmas dinner.
But this morning, my husband wakes up all excited and a... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1419518025 | 1419573224 | t3_2qd5n6 | t5_2to41 | 15 | dannytheguitarist: tifu leaving christmas presents where the kids can see them
I had all the presents bought for everyone in the household in advance. I kind of procrastinated with wrapping them, so after being at work until about 2 am, I rush home to wrap and set everything nice and neat under the Christmas tree, and ... | 3 | 5 | |
1419523417 | 1419525193 | t3_2qdbqn | t5_2to41 | 1 | SagaOfMySoul: Tifu by forgetting to wash my hands
ForeverUnity: We get it. People can't stop touching peppers and their dicks. Get off the bandwagon. :p
SagaOfMySoul: Heh yeah of course what dumbass touches a pepper and then touches their dick
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1419524112 | 1419578560 | t3_2qdcml | t5_2to41 | 95 | Joruus2: TIFU By Believing the "No Presents" Agreement
Christmas is my wife's favorite holiday. She looks forward to it every year.
This year we had a baby girl three weeks ago. Because of the new baby and my wife being on maternity leave (getting only 60% of her normal paycheck), we made an agreement that we would no... | 5 | 19 | |
1419525338 | 1419545106 | t3_2qde7u | t5_2to41 | 121 | BaneWilliams: TIFU by cumming on the back of my laptop.
xArtishan: What was the reaction of Ur partner afterwards ?
BaneWilliams: Tears, tears of complete and utter amazement/enjoyment/schadenfreude. Her sense of humor is one of the many reasons we're together.
I don't think I'll live this one down for years to come... | 8 | 15.125 | |
1419526897 | 1419548325 | t3_2qdgfh | t5_2to41 | 107 | OoooohAAAAAAAHPLSNO: TIFU by Ruining Christmas
Written as a Christmas carol...
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: a temperature of 100.3.
> I'm sick, my wife is sick, my mother is sick, my father is sick, everyone's sick. Christmas dinner is cancelled.
 
On the second day of Christma... | 4 | 26.75 | |
1419527075 | 1419554388 | t3_2qdgoj | t5_2to41 | 2 | Pm_me_dem_nudes: TIFU by walkin into class first
Ash0324: Looks like you just copied some shit story from another website.
Pm_me_dem_nudes: Wow that....... hurts
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419527583 | 1419533893 | t3_2qdhga | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my gf cry because I wanted to be alone today
Well I don't know where to start.
Wait I got it first of all I didn't know she was going to cry and shit all over me but here is the story and let me also tell you that I was telling her the past 3 weeks that I wanted to be alone today and didn't... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1419527162 | 1419567069 | t3_2qdgso | t5_2to41 | 691 | unknownuserx: TIFU by telling an inappropriate joke after sex
So this happened ten minutes ago. I just got done having Christmas morning sex with my awesome girlfriend who proceeds to want to cuddle. I suffer from borderline halitosis in the morning and refuse to kiss her. She asks why won't you kiss me. I was trying t... | 7 | 98.714286 | |
1419528375 | 1419547297 | t3_2qdilm | t5_2to41 | 7 | jojjeshruk: TIFU by leaving my Valium on my family's kitchen table
I'm 19 and me, my two brothers and my mum came back from a family vacation on Cuba the day before Christmas. When we were waiting for our flight on the airport in Cuba I went passed a little pharmacy. They were selling Valium as sleeping pills for 36€/2... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1419528742 | 1419619400 | t3_2qdj41 | t5_2to41 | 1,035 | lambdapaul: TIFU by telling my family that I'm an atheist on Christmas
A little background. I (M22) come from a very catholic family of five in the midwest. Catholic school, mass every sunday at 8am, holy days of obligation, family bibles, etc. Over the past few years in college, I've read a lot of books and befriended... | 13 | 79.615385 | |
1419528845 | 1419552449 | t3_2qdjam | t5_2to41 | 36 | bustyblondefromimgur: TIFU by not specifying my name preferences to my secret Santa
I got my imgur secret Santa gift yesterday. As my username here suggests, my username there is "bustyblonde."
My mother picked up a package off the front porch and looks at it, I notice the imgur logo on the side and I say, "that must ... | 7 | 5.142857 | |
1419529623 | 1419543406 | t3_2qdkg4 | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by dealing with a grinch on steam
This literally happened a few minutes ago. I posted on /r/SteamGameSwap asking to trade some tf2/CS:GO keys for a copy of The sims 2 thats on sale at the mac app store. Well some person added me and we negotiated a deal for 5 CS:GO keys for the game. I sent him the 5 ke... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1419530443 | 1419536718 | t3_2qdlqd | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by wearing a shirt which has ACAB written on it and the police was called on me.
This didn't happen today but a couple weeks ago.
Btw: ACAB stands for "All Cops are Bastards" and while not everyone knows, the police usually does.
I had an important meeting regarding my future taxes and I was about to ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1419529723 | 1419718758 | t3_2qdkm5 | t5_2to41 | -2 | destroier07: Tifu by feeding my entire family viagra
My parents made a meeting with my family to celebrate cristhmas and i was asked to open the water botlle and all that stuff.
Long story short i had some viagra pills that were from my father so i poured the viagra in the botlle, yup i will burn in hell for this, but ... | 4 | -0.5 | |
1419531307 | 1419539658 | t3_2qdn3l | t5_2to41 | 6 | TARightNow: TIFU by Grabbing my younger sisters boob.
For context I am 20 and my little sister is like 12. Just hit puberty.
So my older brother is getting married. Great right? So after the ceremony everyones still in the church taking some pictures. My brother wants to take a picture with our mom, siblings, and myse... | 3 | 2 | |
1419532116 | 1419578793 | t3_2qdodx | t5_2to41 | 40 | Uthmani: TIFU by costing my parents $5000
Pretty crazy story but this is from when I was around 11 years old. I was playing a handheld wheel of fortune game (remember those things? They used a crapload of batteries) and I was playing terribly. I flipped the thing over and lo and behold I found a reset button. The only ... | 5 | 8 | |
1419532020 | 1419578580 | t3_2qdo8c | t5_2to41 | 52 | Oh_Captain_My_Captan: Tifu by thinking a man with Parkinson's disease was trying to dry hump my wife.
This was literally 20 minutes ago at the local Denny's. As we were walking in to sign our names it was fairly packed being Christmas day. A young couple is walking out the same time we were walking in. I notice the man... | 3 | 17.333333 | |
1419532801 | 1419533569 | t3_2qdpf7 | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by ditching a hot chick for a tranny.
RelentlessBlood: You probably made her feel like shit too.
dont_trip_lick_it_69: Yeah, it's definetly not something Im proud of.
| 3 | 1 | |
1419531070 | 1419547885 | t3_2qdmpx | t5_2to41 | 29 | twisteddreamer07: TIFU by telling a cancer patient I liked their hair.
Well this fuck up happend a few years a go, but none the less it was a fuck up.
Okay let me start off with, this was an accidental fuck up. A few years ago I went out with a few friends. Had some drinks and so on so forth. So the end of the night co... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1419534046 | 1419620548 | t3_2qdrcj | t5_2to41 | 673 | SteveLikesMoney: TIFU by getting too drunk at Christmas
I was meant to throw a chocolate wrapper into my fireplace and I threw my iPhone, which was in my other hand, in instead.
YungTim: Current state of said iphone?
SteveLikesMoney: It bent in half in my pocket
YungTim: ayy
SteveLikesMoney: But in all seriousness, my ... | 8 | 84.125 | |
1419531825 | 1419540511 | t3_2qdnxp | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a dumb inconsiderate jerkwad.....
So I've been seeing this girl. And it's going amazing. We just clicked.
Today we had a text conversation that I'm going to regret for the rest of my life....
It basically went like this:
Me: guess where I am.
Her: where?
Me: church haha!
Her: hahaha... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1419530357 | 1419564865 | t3_2qdllp | t5_2to41 | 16 | Ov3rKoalafied: TIFU by telling my brother to use his gift outside
This actually did happen about an hour ago. This morning, my brother (18) and I (22) opened our presents, which were mostly practical gifts. But we each got one novelty impractical gift: a remote control helicopter. Naturally, the RC helicopters were the... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1419538683 | 1419589271 | t3_2qdyh4 | t5_2to41 | 222 | [deleted]: TIFU by bench pressing the Christmas dinner table with my penis.
This happened earlier today at the Christmas table, I'm so embarrassed I think I'm gonna die.
Some relatives came over to my house today at around 10am. It was turning out to be a normal Christmas. Family, food, opening presents, the norm. Aft... | 8 | 27.75 | |
1419539011 | 1419539776 | t3_2qdz1h | t5_2to41 | 6 | sem73x: TIFU By accidently proposing to my girlfriend on christmas day
So I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 3 years now and I have been meaning to get her a sentimental gift. Her parents bought her a purity about a decade ago that broke a few months back. My original plan was to fix her old purity ring... | 3 | 2 | |
1419539852 | 1419570223 | t3_2qe0b9 | t5_2to41 | 114 | Dahoyt: TIFU by taking 40 Robotussin, and going to dinner with girlfriends family...
This happened years ago, but here goes. One day in my substance abuse days I was chilling at my ex girlfriends place, and decided it would be a great idea to take a couple bottles of Robotussin. I had already been using heroin the enti... | 9 | 12.666667 | |
1419539954 | 1419543467 | t3_2qe0hm | t5_2to41 | 0 | Melly_Bxtch: TIFU by letting a My Little Pony obsessed airhead pay my household's bills.
DrivenDogged: I dislike the way you write.
Melly_Bxtch: Good for you. I couldn't give less of a motherfucking fuck what you think of how I write. Don't like, don't read. :)
DrivenDogged: You posted this here for approval from peop... | 4 | 0 | |
1419540847 | 1419542561 | t3_2qe1q8 | t5_2to41 | 13 | caramba2654: TIFU by accidentally insulting a teacher
It was actually a week or so ago.
Anyways, last year of high school. That means teachers get to give their last classes to us and such. So there I am, in my last history class with that teacher. Since it was the last, the whole classroom wanted to clear some rumors... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1419540584 | 1419638116 | t3_2qe1cc | t5_2to41 | 95 | LLment: TIFU by telling the FedEx delivery man, "thanks, love you"
He was so friendly and I was in a good mood because I was sick but I'm feeling better. He came to the door and we even chatted for a little while. Whenever I talk to really nice people there's always this idea in the back of my mind to say that. It is ... | 6 | 15.833333 | |
1419541142 | 1419544850 | t3_2qe24m | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by wrecking Christmas dinner
It's another typical Christmas day with myself, parents and grandparents, my grandad and dad are in the kitchen sorting out the final trimmings for the dinner, my mum asks me to help set the table up so I helped by going into the kitchen and getting the condiments and season... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1419542102 | 1419599277 | t3_2qe3k5 | t5_2to41 | 189 | conspiracy_thug: TIFU by being the clit commander
GodOfAllAtheists: She's obviously a lesbian.
conspiracy_thug: Idk, there's 8" of my body that might disagree.
GodOfAllAtheists: I think you may have turned her.
| 4 | 47.25 | |
1419541762 | 1419561205 | t3_2qe335 | t5_2to41 | 13 | _Decimation: TIFU by spending $500 on Team Fortress 2
**Note: This was last year.**
So it's close to winter break and I have my wishlist all done. I'm having a massive orgasm over a TF2 item I wanted real bad - A Strange Professional Killstreak Degreaser for the Pyro. It was nearly $100 and there was only one in stock... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1419543079 | 1419593557 | t3_2qe500 | t5_2to41 | 57 | Spork-in-Your-Rye: TIFU by not realizing how Reddit's Secret Santa works.
TIFU by not realizing how Reddit's Secret Santa works. I'm fairly new to Reddit and this was my first Secret Santa. I signed up for Secret Santa and got matched with someone. I was thinking that person also had me and we were responsible for gett... | 6 | 9.5 | |
1419542453 | 1419543925 | t3_2qe424 | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by triggering my girlfriend. [re-submitted with a less stupid title]
Man_Shoes: Ypu are an idiot. My bf keeps making rape jokes when ive told him about my past and still doesnt pick up on it when I have a go at him
karindle444: Even if you didn't have a violent past, rape jokes aren't okay.
Man_Shoe... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1419542914 | 1419654853 | t3_2qe4rp | t5_2to41 | 73 | Chelys_galactica: TIFU by unwinding my dog's leash
This happened 15 minutes ago.
It's actually my parent's dog, I'm house/pet sitting for them while they visit my sister on the west coast. I've been flip flopping between happy to be alone, and lonely and bored and in the town I grew up in.
The dog is friendly and wel... | 6 | 12.166667 | |
1419544381 | 1419592691 | t3_2qe6w8 | t5_2to41 | 76 | hsojj: TIFU by getting a paper cut on my penis.
I recently got some new studio monitors, I was in just my boxers because I had taken a shower prior, people were coming over. As I was opening the box one of the flaps were down at about dick height. I quickly turned to reach for something, that's when it happened. The P... | 9 | 8.444444 | |
1419545084 | 1419589446 | t3_2qe7xm | t5_2to41 | 35 | stubborncheese: TIFU By Coming Home for Christmas
tl; dr; Brother was a complete asshole, wife was unhappy, I made the situation worse. Merry Christmas.
Background: I’m Canadian and lived in Canada until I was 23, but left and never looked back. I am now 31 and doing quite well for myself. I lived in Latin America for... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1419545842 | 1419622600 | t3_2qe91t | t5_2to41 | 7,475 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my 2 year old daughter scented chapstick
She ate an entire stick of strawberry chapstick
simmiedude: If it wasn't meant to be eaten, it wouldn't have tasted so good.
NUTS_STUCK_TO_LEG: That's what I told my wife. She was not amused
simmiedude: Is this an innunedo?
garrettj100: "Innuendo?" Wha... | 13 | 575 | |
1419543586 | 1419587359 | t3_2qe5s2 | t5_2to41 | 15 | Robbiev427: Tifu by handing my phone to my friend's wife
It was a few days ago, but I handed my phone to a friend to show her something I posted on Facebook and as I handed it to her, apparently I accidentally tapped the camera icon and it went to my pictures. A couple of pictures of naked women popped up.
Not a big d... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1419546951 | 1419547456 | t3_2qeam4 | t5_2to41 | 2 | throwmyaccountaway12: TIFU by having unprotected sex
ChaosWolf1982: if you're clean, and he's clean, you've got nothing to fear.
Contrary to what some folks think, gay sex can't spontaneously generate diseases.
throwmyaccountaway12: I know I'm clean. There's just always that 1% chance he has something and doesn't kn... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419545715 | 1419563472 | t3_2qe8va | t5_2to41 | 7 | ProblemPie: [TIFU] BY VOLUNTEERING FOR A TWELVE HOUR SHIFT ON CHRISTMAS
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE DEAD OH MY GOD THEY WON'T STOP COMING IN PLEASE SEND HELP PREFERABLY AN OLD PRIEST AND A YOUNG PRIEST
Burn-Account: Who the fuck eats subway for Christmas?
ProblemPie: About eight and a half nonstop hours of human beings. No j... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1419547848 | 1419559828 | t3_2qeby5 | t5_2to41 | 30 | joseph3305: tifu by losing my Christmas present from my Fiance already!
TIFU by losing a christmas present My Fiance just gave me last night. I work 16 hours today so we wanted to give eachother the presents beforehand. I've been wanting a Fitbit Flex ever since they came out but never wanted to drop $100 on it. My fia... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1419542451 | 1419578243 | t3_2qe41z | t5_2to41 | 7 | SpiceCake68: TIFU by Giggling During an ASPCA Commercial
The family is vegging out in front of the television and channel-surfing now that the various parades are over. I whip out the laptop and do a little reddit-ing. I'm laughing about the Putin-picture substitution on /r/funny and notice the television has been mu... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1419548383 | 1419669920 | t3_2qecox | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating pizza
So this happened the other night and I'm just getting a chance to share on here and I had to make a throwaway because I don't want some people with my reddit account to know about it.
Anyway- the other night a friend and I decided to turn it up a little bit extra in addition to our usua... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1419550823 | 1419552846 | t3_2qeg5a | t5_2to41 | 11 | wilbursmith22: TIFU by letting my family make my decisions instead of letting my heart.
TIFU... I worried about what my family said about what I do with my life instead of following my heart and be with the girl I truly love. If I make my own decisions instead of listening to my family, I know I will have a much happie... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1419543619 | 1419552147 | t3_2qe5u3 | t5_2to41 | 7 | arisemprex: TIFU by Being Thirsty
So I am at the mall buying the last of the presents when I decided it was time to take a break and eat some yummy chicken teriyaki. So I order wait in line and when I get my food I decided to bath my chicken and rice with Siracha and this other Pepper Chilli. I sit down and start eatin... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1419551513 | 1419637203 | t3_2qeh5f | t5_2to41 | 634 | Tis_Thee_C-zun: TIFU by falling asleep with a cookie in my mouth.
This started last night. I put my kids to sleep and me and the Mrs. stay up drinking wine and wrapping the last gifts to put under the tree in our room. She quickly passes out due to the drinks and i finish up and put all the presents by my door, close i... | 11 | 57.636364 | |
1419552333 | 1419554741 | t3_2qeidq | t5_2to41 | 230 | Barry_Manpeach: TIFU by sending my entire mobile porn collection to my girlfriend's mom
So very recently I figured out the amazing fact that you can easily download porn straight to your phone just by holding your finger down on the video (in chrome, not sure about others browsers). Naturally, my "downloads" folder, wh... | 4 | 57.5 | |
1419552931 | 1419610678 | t3_2qej7g | t5_2to41 | 19 | redditynurse: TIFU by turning my back on a school mass (catholic)
So this wasn't today, but when I was a rebellious little heathen in high school. I went to a catholic high school and was semi-religious until the end of freshman year. I was raised Lutheran mostly, but we never went to church except on rare occasions. P... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1419553756 | 1419591284 | t3_2qekdh | t5_2to41 | 39 | BuonNatale: TIFU by not spending Christmas with my family. I'm alone, and it kinda sucks.
Reddit, on this Christmas day, I'm alone for the first time. I'd like to know whether the situation I'm in is entirely my fault, or whether my family could have done more to fix things. I need some perspective.
To be clear, it w... | 3 | 13 | |
1419554312 | 1419556050 | t3_2qel6h | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by finding out I'm gay NSFW
Here it goes, made a throwaway and everything. Christmas Day is here and we have a gay neighbor that we invited over. Throughout the day he kept grabbing my leg and calling me a cutie. I was weirded out at first but I really liked it even though I never thought about guys in ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1419555841 | 1419590454 | t3_2qenbw | t5_2to41 | 190 | [deleted]: TIFU by looking at /r/gonewild
Throwaway due to my friends knowing my account
Okay so basically this happened 2 weeks ago but I only just realised what happened. So I was in the living room with my Mom, Dad and sister and being the teenager that I am I decided, hey why not look through some gonewild posts.... | 5 | 38 | |
1419556726 | 1419583760 | t3_2qeolp | t5_2to41 | 100 | yvk253: TIFU by shooting my iPhone 6 with an arrow
So, this happened the night before christmas, where i was testing out the Compound bow and arrow set i got for my younger siblings.
I set up a box at the end of the hallway and took some shots at it, then thought, how cool would it be to film the arrow flying in supe... | 8 | 12.5 | |
1419556690 | 1419557632 | t3_2qeokc | t5_2to41 | 16 | eshta-4-u: TIFU by attempting to steal a cone
TIFU when I tried to steal a cone with a friend and got caught, a little back story, I live in Guatemala and it is quite common for kids to steal cones at night while drunk as fuck, we were not drunk as fuck, but were kind of buzzed.
So a friend and I were leaving a friend... | 4 | 4 | |
1419557500 | 1419688743 | t3_2qepo9 | t5_2to41 | 294 | crashtacktom: TIFU By making a somewhat predictable joke to my gf.
Dear Reddit,
Today I fucked up big. It's rather long, but it's probably worth it if you enjoy laughing at someone else's misfortune, as all of us do from time to time. A running joke in our family for a long time, we all talk about having 'food babies'... | 7 | 42 | |
1419550352 | 1419585057 | t3_2qefh4 | t5_2to41 | 3 | 27pH: TIFU by being a little distracted in the kitchen
[Made a meme](http://imgur.com/V5u6OYA)
Psychoprozac: Well, I am sure the bones and veggies from the stock were tasty?
27pH: Awesome.
| 3 | 1 | |
1419550872 | 1419591177 | t3_2qeg83 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Amonette2012: TIFU by thinking I'd been hacked.
I usually use a desktop PC for my redditing, but I also have a little notebook for travelling, which I am currently using because it is Christmas and I'm at my mum's.
I was trying to find a comment I made a couple of days ago so I could show a thread to my brother, when ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1419558302 | 1419559530 | t3_2qeqpm | t5_2to41 | 111 | DessertWitch: TIFU by stealing a bunch of pies.
Merry Christmas, Reddit. I'm kinda drunk. Let's story. It might be kind of long, though.
This was my first Christmas without my mother and the entire season didn't feel right to me. I had been increasingly upset as December went on because I didn't want to spend today al... | 4 | 27.75 | |
1419558516 | 1419702455 | t3_2qer0i | t5_2to41 | 15 | Blue_Yoshi2015: TIFU by pushing my new neighbor off the wagon (with a bonus FU in the story!)
So this is actually more of a "two years ago I fucked up," but whatever. So two years ago we got a new downstairs neighbor. He was a contractor working for the company that owned the apartments, but he was there working on a s... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1419559591 | 1419562534 | t3_2qesic | t5_2to41 | 25 | thedanturner: TIFU by assuming everybody in my family accepted the reality of climate change.
I live in Canada. I imagined it was an uncontrovercial statement here. It quickly escalated into a heated argument during christmas dinner. My mother's idiot boyfriend provoked me and things spiralled before I could get a hand... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1419560340 | 1419648783 | t3_2qetig | t5_2to41 | 47 | [deleted]: TIFU by having a sensitive asshole (NSFW?)
This FU happened today. So let me start by saying my asshole is fucking sensitive. No matter how hard I try, when I go to the bathroom, my asshole feels like it was raped with Satan's spiked dildo. So I was at a family Christmas party, when I went to the bathroom, a... | 4 | 11.75 | |
1419561653 | 1419580793 | t3_2qevb7 | t5_2to41 | 30 | zack_the_man: TIFU by dissing Beats headphones.
I was telling my friend how I got a pair of nice Audio-Technica headphones for Christmas. When he asked if they were good I replied with "Yeah, better then over priced beats lol." Turns out he got beats for Christmas and hasn't talked to me since.
maschine01: Thats not a... | 5 | 6 | |
1419563204 | 1419563494 | t3_2qexeh | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU By telling these nerds that you can't boil water in the palm of your hand, no matter how masterful your chi is.
So we were all out drinking, shooting some pool. I'm talking shit like you guys really believe you can focus your chi and make fireballs and Kamehamehas and shit. We all laughed. Then one of t... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1419566358 | 1419566551 | t3_2qf1tu | t5_2to41 | -2 | Youown: TIFU by watching porn
Kharavyir: >went upstairs to my room
>still can't go upstairs since the incident
I smell some bs.
Youown: I think you need to learn how to read.
| 3 | -0.666667 | |
1419564399 | 1419886423 | t3_2qez5d | t5_2to41 | 1 | thatwhitegirl789: TIFU by ignoring the sign at an airport
So my fuck up happened around 3 years ago when I was an awkward 13 year old.
I had recently joined this soccer team and had absolutely no friends. It was a really good team (top 5 in the state or something like that) so we were ALWAYS going to tournaments. This... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1419566901 | 1419567579 | t3_2qf2kw | t5_2to41 | 6 | tknoob: TIFU by getting drunk Christmas morning and having to work a 12 hour shift tonight in the ER.
Missed seeing my kids and was fighting with the ex. Woke up Christmas morning and started pounding bloody Mary's and screwdrivers and watching movies. Napped, sobered up, ate a huge dinner and headed to work. My hangov... | 3 | 2 | |
1419568008 | 1419613077 | t3_2qf45d | t5_2to41 | 228 | awkwdquestions: TIFU by giving my little sister a pogo stick.
We're at two broken glasses, a broken vase, and three near misses with the Christmas tree. But the night is still young.
offmyrocker: Pogo sticks are an outside toy. Exclusively
EroKintama: Or... a large indoor arena
Badoodler: dude...
BasketOfCats: Pogo jou... | 5 | 45.6 | |
1419570206 | 1419581522 | t3_2qf75f | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by crushing my penis in a public bathroom then stabbing myself in the balls
The title is the TL:DR version. Here's the rest...happened a few years back actually.
I was in my dorm, ready for a shower. Went to the bathroom wearing only my jeans, and I got the water running in the shower stall. It's a lar... | 7 | 3.142857 | |
1419572737 | 1419574816 | t3_2qfaj3 | t5_2to41 | 8 | angrypotato1: TIFU by jerking off and making my parents split up
[deleted]: [oh wow this is really weird that these two are linked](http://www.reddit.com/r/self/comments/2qfawq/my_wife_found_used_condoms_in_her_gym_bag_and_now/)
jonandkaylatoler: no way this is real.....
SilentSwine: agreed, both are posted within 5 m... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1419573024 | 1419580676 | t3_2qfavd | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by hitting and killing a dog while getting road head
Girlfriend decided to give me one last Christmas present on the way home from my dad's house. 5 minutes in a dog ran out in front of me and I unfortunately killed it. I feel like what happened is a story out of American Pie or something. RIP to the do... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1419572999 | 1419610882 | t3_2qfaui | t5_2to41 | 3,206 | BestChristmasParty: TIFU by letting the corporate holiday party become the best night of my life NSFW
PapercutsAndTaffy: As a lady who has been pregnant, it takes approx 6-10 days for the egg to be fertilized. You then can't get a positive pregnancy test for another.. I believe 2 weeks onwards as the hormone level isn... | 10 | 320.6 | |
1419572150 | 1419593226 | t3_2qf9rh | t5_2to41 | 6 | RedOctober28: TIFU by spreading my Christmas bug
I've been sick with a walking cold recently. Today I was with my family for Christmas, and I went to get some beef out of the vegetable soup. I only wanted a bit, so I grabbed a plastic fork and tried to eat a little piece. The piece was hot and fell out of my mouth righ... | 3 | 2 | |
1419573352 | 1419577901 | t3_2qfbb0 | t5_2to41 | 8 | bdawgsupreme: TIFU by wishing my doctor a Merry Christmas back
This happened a few days before Christmas last year, and I just remembered it a few minutes ago and instantly cringed
I had gone into the doctor for a regular checkup, and also it was burning when I pissed so I was a little worried
New doctor cuz the old ... | 4 | 2 |
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