start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1361768163 | 1361854627 | null | t5_2to41 | 145 | comefullcircle: TIFU by wearing my favourite jeans when I went bowling
I was meeting a bunch of my boyfriend's friends for the first time, and bowling was the activity decided upon. I wore my favourite jeans that I've had for years. We show up to the bowling lanes, and it happens to be glow in the dark night. There's b... | 4 | 36.25 | |
1361766163 | 1361892754 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | WithKenKaniff: TIFU: 3 for 1 (damnit...)
1)So yeah yesterday night, I fucked up. So as I was heading for a super duper night for my friend's birthday, I get to where we meet up to go to the restaurant together. I was pretty high at that point. When I'm under the influence, I fuck up a lot. I say things I don't think I ... | 5 | 1 | |
1361800161 | 1362490304 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling for my best friend
It happened so suddenly too...I logged in to Facebook just to see what was new and there were these photo's of her at a party in a red corset top posing for photos...and instantaneously my stomach dropped and these fierce waves of jealousy welled up and all I could think wa... | 6 | 6 | |
1361799049 | 1361806086 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by not realizing what was on my clipboard when I pasted it
Alright, so I was sending a joke email to my friend, using the Internet Tough Guy copypasta to make him laugh about something. Another student in my school sent out a survey, asking if other kids would want to start a school newsletter. In th... | 4 | 10 | |
1361778503 | 1362370253 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | spanktojail: By spanking my way to jail.
I was riding my bicycle with a big pack of people on a beach side board walk. Adrenaline is pumping Testosterone is controlling me. I am in front of the pack, I am leading them down the board walk. I am pedaling ahead and my right arm reaches out. My eyes and mind are on the roa... | 8 | 7.75 | |
1361792380 | 1361835733 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by recklessly tearing a pot plant to bits in a fit of rage
Okay, obvious throw away is obvious.
I live with my partner who grows a lot of weed. I'm not super happy about it. We talk about it, but I just try to ignore it and I'm praying for the day he stops when we move house soon.
Today we had one of... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1361806270 | 1361813583 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | London_Pride: TIFU by asking my roommate how her week went.
Today *was* a good day. Got some good marks for work I'd done, had a celebratory beer, was cooking an awesome pasta bake.
I saw my roommate come in, who'd been at home for a week. I practically bounced to her room, shoving the door open.
'Hey! Good to see ... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1361805224 | 1361820201 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by dropping my brand new Droid DNA
All was well until I fucked up. It may not seem like a big deal, but it is to me. After saving up hundreds of dollars for a new phone, I finally got my dream phone. Nine days ago I bought a Droid DNA by HTC. It's amazing. I've fallen in love with the phone. I also orde... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1361810950 | 1361814063 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by misreading my syllabus
I am in an online class that is required for one of my majors, it is the introductory course, so without it I cannot take 90% of the classes required.
At the beginning of the semester, I went through and made dates in my calendar on my phone of the exams so I would not miss th... | 3 | 11 | |
1361815044 | 1362088416 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,102 | [deleted]: TIFU. Not prepared for a surprise attack of the period.
Period ended last weekend. Okay cool I can take these tampons out of my purse. Sitting in my 8 am class. Oh? Wetness down there? WTF? Go to bathroom. SURPRISE! Your favorite panties are blood nasty red. OMG!! Check my pants, nope they are good. No chang... | 12 | 91.833333 | |
1361820102 | 1361857947 | null | t5_2to41 | 186 | leedulee: TIFU by eating everything I can
This actually happened a few months ago during the summer. It was summer orientation and me being the incoming freshman did not know a thing about college dining halls and how detrimental it can be to your colon/anus. After a long days worth of trekking my new college in bliste... | 4 | 46.5 | |
1361824616 | 1361908120 | null | t5_2to41 | 131 | imonlinedammit: TIFU (Saturday) by having a wardrobe malfunction during my proposal.
I proposed to my GF on saturday. We had an amazing day wine tasting and enjoying the North Fork of Long island. I surprised her with a beautiful suite at an amazing mansion and resteraunt. They readied the room with Champagne, the f... | 3 | 43.666667 | |
1361825705 | 1361841304 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | sutro_droid: TIFU by watching the oscars without having watched a single nomination in the past year.
Usually I love watching Oscars but the past year i've been so occupied with work and studies that i have kinda given up on my love for movies. I realized that when i was watching oscars today that i had watched only on... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1361830186 | 1361997216 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | APPLE_NUGGETS: TIFU by making the walk of shame
So today I got back from university and first thing I do is sit down to enjoy my daily poo. 15 minutes later I silenced reddit for the unavoidable wipe. I turned to grasp that first bit of paper and I realized there was nothing there. This wouldn't be such a big deal n... | 5 | 9 | |
1361834986 | 1361848307 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | SasoDuck: TIFU by going to the bathroom
http://img39.imageshack.us/img39/3203/todayifuckedup.jpg
bl33dy: please tell me there is some chocolate rain beneath that TP
SasoDuck: Nope. Our toilet is terrible. I generally flush once before adding the paper.
[deleted]: Plunger?
SasoDuck: Ain't NOBODY got time for that!
| 5 | 4.4 | |
1361844332 | 1362003646 | null | t5_2to41 | 178 | CountdownResetter: TIFU By getting so drunk I pooed on my friends floor
I haven't drank in about 2 months. So my tolerance is not what it used to be. After a night of heavy drinking and partying we came back to my friend's house.
I could feel the alcohol not agreeing with me and ran for the bathroom. I threw my guts ... | 4 | 44.5 | |
1361833367 | 1361937939 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | KINGREDBEARD: TIFU cigarette tea
So I was smoking a cigarette in my truck driving down the road and I didn't want to throw my cigarette out the window so I put it in a cup of tea from Royal Farms. Cut to later in the night I'm leaving my lady's house around 1 in the morning, I'm tired, sleepy and thirsty so without thi... | 4 | 6 | |
1361845499 | 1361918570 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | J4Q3: TIFU and unwittingly delayed my graduation
I just realized the class I'm taking which I have been keeping up with by reading online lecture notes (but not attending) fails students if they miss more than 5 classes. I misread the syllabus at the beginning of the semester and thought it was a flat 5% of the total g... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1361851258 | 1361853239 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | gustaserb: TIFU by eating a cookie.
So. This is my first post, but I feel that my fuck up should be announced to the Internet. I love skiing, and on the day of my fuck up, I was somewhat hungry after a day at the terrain park. Anyway, after getting changed, I'm feeling slightly peckish, and I make my way to a cafe that... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1361859401 | 1361894048 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | d4hlian0ire: TIFU by losing a semester's worth of grading spreadsheets on a USB without having saved any backup copies.
I'm a teacher (work with adults, if that's relevant) and I use an Excel spreadsheet to calculate final grades. Every homework assignment, absence, et cetera goes into the spreadsheet and at the end o... | 3 | 5 | |
1361868565 | 1361907305 | null | t5_2to41 | 208 | ComputerFeathers: TIFU by being friendly (x-post from r/London)
So, a middle-aged man gets on the tube stop before mine. Black suit, vague smile on his face, carrying a gigantic bouquet of flowers, he rests on the seat right opposite mine. Everyone notices, and then quickly ignores the sudden flourish; as you do, this ... | 8 | 26 | |
1361888243 | 1361905357 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,468 | forgotpasswordagain0: TIFU and left my car in drive when I parked it on a slight incline. Tonight I met everybody in my street.
It's about 9.30 PM. Me and my friend have just gotten back from the beach and we're in my room playing video games, chilling out, whatever. The doorbell rings.
There are two cops at the door... | 15 | 97.866667 | |
1361895714 | 1361900181 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU and my car was (illegally?) searched
Long story short, moved to a new house and in the process lost a ticket I was supposed to pay. License suspended without my knowledge --> got arrested for driving without a license.
I left my key for the towing company. But while I was sitting in the cruiser, the... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1361897529 | 1361901306 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by drawing
This morning I wanted to finish up one of my drawings for my drawing class and my cat decides to be a dick and walk all over it. Now there is a rip in the middle, but I taped it from the back so it wouldn't look that bad.
Should I tell my professor what happened? That could either end up two... | 3 | 3 | |
1361896573 | 1361921043 | null | t5_2to41 | 88 | [deleted]: TIFU by smearing shit all over my face
I got a nasty Vole Fever (or Nephropathia epidemica, but that sounds too dramatic) after a weekend at my cabin. I had to go to hospital but I was told I would be fine if I would leave the hospital. I was taking a shit with my handkerchief that I carry around on my right... | 5 | 17.6 | |
1361901052 | 1361921485 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a girl I have feelings for, know I had a fuck buddy.
I am 25 and she is 22, and somehow I thought that high school drama bullshit would've been over by now.
The story goes that I have been talking to a girl for almost a year now, and her and I were best friends. Feelings came up, she was in ... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1361785183 | 1361913358 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | josessitup: TIFU by throwing up sausage.
I'm at a friends place, my SO and I decide to buy a bottle of Sailor Jerry's. My friend wanted to drink a little with us so we come back from the liquor store and the friend comes up with the brilliant idea to play a drinking game to one of our favorite shows Trailer Park Boys. ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1361914602 | 1362003412 | null | t5_2to41 | 101 | [deleted]: TIFU by sexting my boss on Snapchat.
She opened it 4 hours ago and still has not replied.
raika11182: So... I'm reading your replies to other people... and I have to ask.
How are you not dating this person? Is she datable? Attractive?
See, here's the thing. Under normal circumstances, 24 year old women do ... | 8 | 12.625 | |
1361905031 | 1362002672 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | kireisan: [TIFU] tifu by letting a room full of people know I watch Japanese porn.
I'm in college and was hanging out with a group of girl friends at a male Japanese exchange students dorm. We are all taking Japanese class, and they were asking him how to say dirty things in Japanese for fun and to embarrass him. One o... | 3 | 27.666667 | |
1361912684 | 1362012581 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | [deleted]: TIFU by defiling my coworker’s nostrils with a wet chili fart
I am a woman (not to be confused with a “lady” because nothing you read here will be anything “ladylike”) and I work with 85% men (somewhat relevant as it’s a reason for my behavior). Our office is sort of Z shaped and I sit at one end of the Z. M... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1361926404 | 1361930152 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | STOP_DROP_AND_ROLL: TIFU by ruining my $1500 computer by illegally downloading software.
So some backstory, I have a Mac and I LOVE to play TF2. When it came out for Mac, they gave a promo item to all Mac users that played the game within a 2 week period. I was lucky to get the Mac promo item because its very valuable ... | 6 | 1.333333 | |
1361927947 | 1361995649 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | claytakephotos: TIFU by totaling my bosses car... with my car.
Recently I was hired on as a sales lead for a retailer. The pay is okay, and the job is not too shabby when the line of work is considered. I’ve already become friends with most of my team, and this even includes the manager who holds a reputation of fear-m... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1361928265 | 1365962238 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,485 | deaconfrost5: TIFU AND FIRST FUCKING POST. Just went to get my cat some food and on my return discovered that I ran him over and killed him on the way out. FML
Long time lurker fucking thrilled I'm not anymore.
Edit: Thanks guys.
lbreaux: Can you still return the cat food?
girlieq3: I know this was a joke, but on a se... | 9 | 276.111111 | |
1361929582 | 1362564739 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Substracted: TIFU by punting an old woman's phone into a pool
**This took place during my trip to mexico last year**
I woke up one morning of my trip and headed to the pool with my mom; It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and there was almost nobody at the pool. We set up our chairs with towels and relaxed for... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1361938435 | 1362283402 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | recursion-noisrucer: TIFU and managed to get Icy Hot on my ball sack
THIS SHIT BURNS! I have Icy Hot spray in a can and somehow got it on my ball sack. Does anyone know of a way to get it off? or do I have to ride it out?
Jakob1324231: Accidentally got mace on my shaft before.....
norseburrito: next time... *Will OP de... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1361921173 | 1361967051 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | IAmZeDoctor: TIFU by brushing my teeth with Icy Hot
I've been sick since Friday (some sort of common cold or whatnot) so my brain cycles aren't where they would normally be. I woke up this morning extremely tired and sort of incoherent. Stumbled over to the bathroom and proceeded to brush my teeth, as I do every day. A... | 3 | 5 | |
1361942256 | 1362075086 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | metalninja626: TIFU by meditating to metal music in my living room
I came home today to find an record I ordered had arrived. I decided to listen to it at home in my living room. I like to meditate from time to time, mostly in the morning, so to fully engross myself into the music I wanted to zone out and listen to the... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1361948429 | 1362017878 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | michellaneousness: TIFU by cancelling my graduation.
My university runs on the quarter system. I've been eligible to graduate since June of last year, but stayed for a fifth year because my SO was finishing up his community college classes to get ready to transfer and we were living in the area anyway. I was way more b... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1361932264 | 1361968318 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting wasted in school
I have trouble participating in my discussion based English class so I thought why not drink 2 shots to loosen me up before going to class. Before I knew it I had downed 375ml of Bacardi straight on an empty stomach at 11AM which I had discreetly kept in my Poland spring bot... | 3 | 30.333333 | |
1361936462 | 1361990640 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | RashestHippo: TIFU By playing to hard and doing silly things.
Today i started to play and noticed i need to change my strings so i decided I was just going to go crazy with whammy bar antics and big bends because if i break a string it doesnt matter. Now after about 10-20 minutes I was done and put the guitar down, th... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1361946083 | 1362038228 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by sleeping at my dads house
my mom and dad are divorced(usually i stay at my moms),and my dad has NO RULES, so i got tired an fell asleep , while asleep my bro put a pen in my ear and when i woke up my ear was covered in ink, i eventually cleaned it up and im fine.
dtsgod: So the fuck up was that you h... | 3 | 1 | |
1361967676 | 1361999602 | null | t5_2to41 | 228 | Azba: TIFU by almost suffocating in the shower
So, today (as in earlier in the week) I almost killed myself by suffocating on water vapor in my shower. Or would that be drowning? Anyway, to the story:
My bathroom is almost airtight with the door closed, with only 2 small windows (one of which is jammed) and a really, ... | 9 | 25.333333 | |
1361973779 | 1362007084 | null | t5_2to41 | 103 | throwaway01923487297: TIFU by pissing myself while dreaming about reddit
Throwaway because a lot of my IRL friends know my real username.
Early this morning while I was asleep, I was dreaming that I was using the bathroom and browsing reddit on my phone. Some thread was calling for /u/andrewsmith1986 to be banned or ... | 5 | 20.6 | |
1361919515 | 1361992721 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate by going to a frat party
First off, let me apologize for the title. I thought I was clear, but I was taking full responsibility for my actions, and was in no way blaming the fraternity that I went to. A more appropriate title would have been something along the lines of "TIFU by drinking way too fu... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1361988157 | 1362054184 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,046 | akoostik: TIFU by deciding to shave my beard last minute before an interview. My trimmer broke halfway through the process.
Woke up this morning for an interview I was really excited and hopeful about. Last minute, I decided to do a massive trim of my beard. Somehow my beard was so thick and badass I managed to brea... | 12 | 87.166667 | |
1361993383 | 1362010337 | null | t5_2to41 | 111 | Im_The_One: TIFU by failing my university class on birds.
Ok, so this actually happened to one of my friends at the end of last semester, but he doesn't reddit so I thought I'd share on here. Had me laughing for a while (I'll write in first person pov):
So last semester was my second to last semester before graduatin... | 5 | 22.2 | |
1361998592 | 1362073046 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking up with my boyfriend then having sex with the female friend who was having drinks with me.
So, I feel seedy from the alcohol last night for starters. Shaky at my audacity to assume a girl who doesn't like girls will still like me (turns out she did) a bit impressed at the noises I got her t... | 8 | 3.125 | |
1361999575 | 1362075044 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | hezzospike: TIFU by waiting too long to ask someone out
About a month ago I was at a party in my fraternity and we were having a mixer with one of the sororities. We'd had an event with them a few months prior to this party, and I'd chatted with one of the girls at that event for a bit, making a decent impression. Anyw... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1362007390 | 1364284644 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | hippypickle: TIFU by inventing a new drink....
This happened a couple weeks ago but I had only started lurking on Reddit then.
Came home from work, went to get a drink. We had a leaky pipe which was giving the neighbour below fits, so a plumber was in the house all that evening, effectively blocking kitchen and bathro... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1362013371 | 1362159299 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | illdrawyourface: TIFU and told my 12 year old brother to "calm his tits" while in the car with our mother and my two young children.
I don't even know what happened. I was driving and my brother was acting like a maniac in the backseat. My mouth said it before my brain could stop it.
He gave me a weird look like he ... | 5 | 9 | |
1362012820 | 1362016117 | null | t5_2to41 | 107 | SushiBandit1992: TIFU (Last year) by telling myself to fuck off several times in the shower
Last summer, I went to Berlin with a few friends, and we rented out a private apartment. Pretty quickly we realised there were no locks on the bathroom doors (there was two side by side, not sure why). Anyway, we all started pra... | 3 | 35.666667 | |
1362012491 | 1362032889 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | tjleggz: TIFU by driving to school.
I wake up, make myself a delicious egg sandwich, and leave for school. Last night it was a sleety, snowy mess. My road and the adjacent road are a bit slushy still because they aren't main roads and cleared often. (I live in the middle of nowhere) I'm driving for about 30sec around 3... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1362016082 | 1362058583 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | noliteloqui: TIFU by putting soap in my blender to clean it.
Some post on reddit about being lazy described some guy doing this, so I thought I could do it too. Countertops are now soaked in soapy protein shakey mess.
WestBankSurfer: The lid man, the lid... Just never forget the lid.
[deleted]: I'm not sure a lid woul... | 5 | 11 | |
1362010285 | 1362070488 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU By Misdiagnosing My Car Issues
I'll start off by saying I'm the type of girl who is a bit of a tomboy. I pride myself on knowing a little about cars and I ride and maintain a motorcycle. Yesterday I was already 15 minutes late for work when all this happened. I live downtown and park my car in a backyar... | 10 | 4.8 | |
1362025920 | 1362075118 | null | t5_2to41 | 252 | TIFURACIST: TIFU Trying to give food to a homeless.
This happened a month or so ago.
It was about 10pm and I drove up to a taco truck to get a burrito. I lined up because there was a bunch of other people also and this guy asked to wash my windshield for money. He said that he's not going to beg for money and that he... | 4 | 63 | |
1362023991 | 1362164749 | null | t5_2to41 | 113 | 1911dan: TIFU I submitted this to my professor
So my roommate and I were working on a joint project for class in google docs. I tried to slip some funny stuff from the previous weekend in and he found it and we were kinda chatting in the google doc. then without deleting the extra stuff at the end. I sent it to my prof... | 3 | 37.666667 | |
1362025047 | 1362068096 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting on reddit
After reading through the hottest, newest, and most controversial fuck ups, I realized I have spent the last 3 1/2 hours reading other people's fuck ups. Who needs a life anyways, right?
elshroom: Shhhh. Im reading other peoples fuck up. Did you read the one about guy who killed his... | 4 | 1 | |
1362067196 | 1362092264 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,110 | PhatDaddy420: TIFU by making a snow fort, and the police got involved.
So, this was Tuesday, and not really a fuckup, but the scenario is really hilarious in the end.
So here I am, a grown ass man with a hankering for making a snow fort / igloo, cause they are fucking awesome.
This thing here was a monster, enough ro... | 20 | 155.5 | |
1362072360 | 1362715517 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | mogadishupimp: TIFU Got a female I hate pregnant
I may now have a child I don't want, and have to spend the rest of my life with a woman who despises me.. I just wanted to share that with someone.
freebirdftw: Knocking up bitches when you're 16 isn't the smartest idea. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
[deleted]: If y... | 7 | 9.714286 | |
1362077556 | 1362170511 | null | t5_2to41 | 111 | Albuyeh: TIFU my internship interview by stating one of my weaknesses
I had this interview for a paid internship position at Boeing. Things were going great and then he asked me my strengths and I told him some of the things I was good at. Then he asked me to list some of my weaknesses and without skipping a beat I sai... | 6 | 18.5 | |
1362078250 | 1362163548 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | coboyuparp: TIFU By letting my sister ride my horse..
Okay, so this happened yesterday evening.
I came home from work and decided to saddle up my horse for a quick ride before dark. My sister comes out while i'm saddling up and asks if she could ride him. Sure why not? (shes 12 by the way) and so I let her ride and ... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1362078968 | 1362088678 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | Roseysdaddy: TIFU by coming to this subreddit.
Seriously, I am by no means a great story teller, but this subreddit makes /r/fuuuuu or whatever look like Shakespeare. One dude told a story about a cat eating snacks and barfing and then ended the story with some quip about it farting? Amazingly people upvoted it.
A... | 4 | 1 | |
1362078645 | 1362682171 | null | t5_2to41 | 103 | [deleted]: TIFU: Naked photos of me are on scattered on the internet without my consent
Two months ago I took photos for the satisfaction and entertainment of my long term boyfriend. I never do this. Ever.
He wasn't nearby and so the pictures needed to be sent to him. To be as safe as possible, I thought I would creat... | 7 | 14.714286 | |
1362079680 | 1362083208 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU by trashing grandma's cookies
My parents are out of house for a few days, so I went home from college as I have pretty empty week and I do my best work when working totally isolated.
By accident, my grandma found out (she lives few blocks away), requested visit (I visited her) and gave me few homemade ... | 5 | 8.4 | |
1362081961 | 1363355409 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | usernameunavailable: TIFU by getting my beard trapped in the zip of a jacket whilst trying it on in a busy store.
The girl at the checkout had to cut me free :(
PandemoniumR: And that's when you got her phone number?
usernameunavailable: I had a jacket attached to my face, I didn't think it was the best moment to start... | 4 | 11 | |
1362088361 | 1362247298 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | xLadyVirgil: TIFU: a case of a good babysitting gig gone horrific.
So, this wasn't technically today, but I really have to share this somewhere. My worst fuck up in history.
8 years ago, I'm 14. My mom's friend and her husband want a not so kid friendly night to themselves, and ask me to babysit their two year old a... | 4 | 20.75 | |
1362101432 | 1362200433 | null | t5_2to41 | 191 | [deleted]: TIFU and now I feel like there a bugs crawling all around me. [NSFW]
Sorry for this very graphic post but I didn't know where else to go with this. About 15 minutes ago I finished jerking off. Now it is relevant to the story to know that I jerk off into a sock. Fella's you know what I'm talking about. Usuall... | 5 | 38.2 | |
1362112947 | 1362144384 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | soccersucker: TIFU by playing soccer
Background info: I like soccer a lot and I think it's really fun to play even though I'm really bad at it. I have a strong body that can play pretty much any sport, but I never really had the motivation to start anything. Also I'm fifteen and a girl.
OK.
So I decided to join a soc... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1362116236 | 1362458251 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | [deleted]: TIFU by gluing my legs together
So I ripped a hole in the thigh of my jeans and made a patch to fabric glue on. I was in a bit of a rush and even though the glue said it sets in 3 minutes I forgot that some of the glue would leak through the rip. I put my pants on and ran out the door to my car. By the time... | 9 | 7.222222 | |
1362142750 | 1362147953 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU By Getting Not Fapping For 3 Weeks. [NSFW]
Alright, so three weeks prior to this " Incident " I had my foreskin removed due to not washing it enough ( Apparently ) So it was too sore to touch, until today.
My dick was fine enough to finally masturbate today, so I sat down, and within two minutes I ejac... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1362150815 | 1362159496 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | [deleted]: Reddit, today I fucked up royally today.
Alright guys here it is, today during class our principle came on the intercom and informed the school that two students of my school had died in a car crash and one more is in the ICU. coincidentally I was going through /r/adviceanimals and saw the insanity wolf abou... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1362151457 | 1362169357 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | chorznorps: TIFU by going to lunch
(Happened yesterday)
so I went to lunch to meet my SO and talk some things over and all. We had a good talk and I spent some time with my son and it took away the stress I was feeling from work that morning. Everything was pretty good. But when I left, things had taken a turn for the ... | 7 | 14.857143 | |
1362155618 | 1362433241 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,955 | bluesky747: TIFU by emailing fetish pictures of myself to my boyfriend's mom instead of him.
I was in a school girl outfit, garters, a collar, and leash.
I can never look her in the face again. Ever.
**Edit: Thanks so much guys! Most of you were telling me not to worry about it, and it definitely made me feel better... | 11 | 177.727273 | |
1362161017 | 1362365824 | null | t5_2to41 | 133 | [deleted]: Told a girl she was fat. Then tried to make it better telling that I masturbate over her.
Grump0SaurusRex: Why would you ever tell someone that you put pictures of them in your fap folder?
[deleted]: Of course it was supposed to be friendly banter :(
assblood: I dunno, I'd hesitate to joke with a girl tha... | 7 | 19 | |
1362168464 | 1362181174 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | throwaway1231256: TIFU by getting 50+ students iss
This is a throwaway since some people at my school use reddit. Some back-story on this the school I got to has programs that allow them to see your screen and record you history so I found out that if I create a bat file that keeps ending the process so they could not ... | 5 | 6.8 | |
1362168135 | 1362281090 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | depricatedzero: T(uesday)IFU by releasing a plague on my housemates
So this story goes back to last Friday. I had what felt like food poisoning, and it was rather nasty. Once I got home from work I abandoned all my plans, wound up in the bathroom exploding from both ends. Saturday I felt like death warmed over. Sunday ... | 6 | 11.833333 | |
1362174733 | 1362204699 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | Batmanx: TIFU by texting my dad I wanted to have sex with him...
TIFU (last year) by accidentally texting my dad, instead of my boyfriend at the time, "Hey baby, I can't wait to fuck you tomorrow;)"
I had a blackberry and chose the wrong contact and I can never look at my dad the same...
EDIT: I was still in high sch... | 5 | 21.2 | |
1362168960 | 1362190272 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | un_deux: LWIFU by unintentionally convincing my precal teacher I'm suicidal.
deathbydanny: Speaking as a (somewhat) medical professional, and having seen that people that deal with others in an authoritarial capacity are trained for and go through, almost all people that have that authority and training are trained to... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1362181309 | 1362240600 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | SupaFurry: TIFU: I was trying to sing the wheels on the bus and I accidentally said "the whores on the bus"
The song didn't last much longer than that.
fox099: "the whores on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down..."
Lokael: Freudian slip at it's best.
| 3 | 1 | |
1362183579 | 1362204171 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU. I accidentally broke a CFL light bulb containing mercury that was right above me...didn't even take a shower.
Well actually, this happened last night, but while I was in bed I reached to turn on this little overhanging light. Instead of hitting the switch, I hit the bulb which shattered right above m... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1362184197 | 1362499739 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | deathbydanny: TIFU By Leaving Beavis And Butt-Head on TV
This happened a couple of weeks ago, but I just discovered this subreddit today.
I have an autistic six year old. Behind in some ways but brilliant in others, I love him and his little sister a lot. I play with them as much as I can, but when I'm out of energy, ... | 4 | 30.5 | |
1362191164 | 1362485188 | null | t5_2to41 | 120 | norseburrito: TIFU by being "super smooth".
Today in PE we were playing soccer, Were all pretty good so it's really fun. One player got the ball and was running towards the goal,head first not even looking where he was going, and kicked the ball full force towards the goal.
Now the goalie for our team is not the... | 6 | 20 | |
1362202326 | 1362215892 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating 25 oreos for dinner.
I'm in good physical shape and keep a really strict diet, but for the fuck of it I bought a pack of oreo cookies and ate about half of the pack for dinner. I've never done something like this before, and I keep a really strict diet (to compliment my workouts). I feel lik... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1362202752 | 1362332393 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | alwaysstudy202: TIFU by failing a major exam
Throwaway account because BLARGH!
Anyways, this happened last week but now that I've gotten the result, I might as well share. Last week I had been studying for two major exams I had on the Thursday of that week, unfortunately, I was so busy studying that I didn't realiz... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1362204739 | 1362335687 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | DasKruth: TIFU by getting alcohol poisoning during Beer Week.
My city is having their grand ol' beer week, and craft beer is the direction in which I want to turn a hobby into a career. Therefore, I've been going out every night to network, seek out amazing beers, and just enjoy the art of conversation with friends.
... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1362221817 | 1362330144 | null | t5_2to41 | 293 | [deleted]: TIFU by retrieving my dog
So it's 5 in the morning, butt-crack early, I'm up, and my dog is ready to go to the bathroom. It's urgent, she leaps off my bed and runs to my mothers room which is the usual routine, no big deal. Except she has this habit of slamming on the door which results in this extremely lou... | 13 | 22.538462 | |
1362230330 | 1362295281 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending my bitchy text msg about my ex boss, to my ex boss instead of my mum :/
So today I really fucked up by sending a bitchy msg about my ex boss, to my ex boss instead of to my mum. To make things even more awkward I have a meeting with her in the morning!!!! :/
The msg read
I have a date with... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1362231826 | 1362271064 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking
I've been trying to keep dry so this was the first time in a few months I've drunk alcohol at all so my tolerance is lower than usual, and stupidly, I skipped breakfast to get to my football match on time. We drew the match and for reasons I will not disclose I was not in a good mood so the ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1362263181 | 1362292497 | t3_19j4fc | t5_2to41 | 27 | Shadradson: You must live in Texas.
[deleted]: I got pulled over for going 5 miles over the speed limit in Texas, thankfully I didn't get a ticket, but 5 over
SycoJack: They don't have a ticket for five over in most places, typically the smallest speeding ticket is 6 over.
kcgdot: Disagree. From mostly personal experi... | 9 | 3 | |
1362259406 | 1362312394 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | Buffalo_Ny: TIFU by drinking an entire carton of orange juice.
This didn't fly over too well as a meme in /r/adviceanimals, but I figured you guys would appreciate it.
Anyway, I go to work overnight. So I had this crazy thirst before work, and being a moron, I drink a whole carton of orange juice.
Fast forward to ... | 6 | 13.333333 | |
1362263774 | 1362442398 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | r0Lf: TIFU by cheating during a final
So, here I am taking a final, while my "secret list" printed in font 5 is sitting under my paper. It is a good way to cheat since you most likely won't get caught, because all you have to do is pull the paper 1 inch forward, rewrite what's on it and then pull it back.
Everything ... | 6 | 6.333333 | |
1362262672 | 1362325464 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by screaming FUCK.
So first of all I'm not quite able to drive yet so this causes some problems. My parents were taking my sister to a crew tournament the same day I had lacrosse practice. Not a big deal. I would just get a ride from someone who was going to the practice. Keep in mind that the practi... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1362262782 | 1362383017 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | NomahTheGreat: TIFU by accidentally drinking prune juice and shitting my pants at work as a middle school teacher.
So I am a middle school teacher that has had a very nasty head cold recently. I was rushing out the door yesterday and thought I would have a quick 1 minute breakfast of a muffin and what I thought was cra... | 4 | 28 | |
1362281456 | 1362304629 | null | t5_2to41 | 171 | stackshotbill: TIFU by calling myself an asshole in front of a dead guy
My Dad has been dating a woman for about two years now. Her and I are not close but I like her and try to be as cordial as I can. Her Brother in Law passed away this week so I decided it would be a good gesture to make an appearance and pay my resp... | 4 | 42.75 | |
1362273928 | 1362429969 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting drunk and eating my dogs cheese treats.
I'll keep it simple:
7:00 p.m. Started drinking vodka
7:30 p.m. Half a bottle in feeling great
7:45 p.m. Three quarters of the bottle is done
8:00 p.m. Bottle done and hungry
8:10 p.m. Found cheese and bacon doggie treats not in its cupboard
8:... | 4 | 6 | |
1362290535 | 1362293071 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | SgtTaters: TIFU by destroying the lock on the door at the restaurant i work at.
So it started out a normal day at work. Nothing out of the ordinary. 10:30 rolls around (half an hour til close), and my coworkers tell me they cant lock the door, and want me to see if i can get it locked. Mistake number one.
I take a loo... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1362300183 | 1362300774 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming into my gfs bum...
So this happened a couple months back (lame I know but I've been fucking busy lay off) with a girl I'm no longer dating anyways this girl we'll call her shmacole comes to visit me from Atlanta to savannah. So the last day she's here we have a morning pound session during wh... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1362296924 | 1363022904 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: Tifu by having sex at my boyfriends.:\
So I like going over to my boyfriends cuz we can have privacy, well today I went over and his moms boyfriends kids and his mom were over so we were trying to be as secret as possible so I just had my pants pulled down and he was doin me from behind when all the sudden h... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1362322499 | 1362333790 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating hot fries
Well i ate them last night, and they weren't that bad spicy. I awoke this morning to go and visit John .. And now my asshole is burning from fiery shit.. My god how it burns.. Literally as I'm writing this..
TL:DR
I have Fiery Shit
****EDITED*****
asshole_is_one_word: ##
narut... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1362325239 | 1362335149 | null | t5_2to41 | 210 | throwaway2chainz: TIFU and spent all of my money for the month
**EDIT: I guess I didn't *spend* the money, so much as just lost it.**
(throwaway)
So I just woke up and it's 7:30am (still drunk). I don't remember a single thing from last night... but I'm missing 300-some dollars. That was all my budget for the month. ... | 6 | 35 |
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