start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1362330250 | 1362336736 | null | t5_2to41 | 103 | samkoebrich: TIFU and attached the wrong cover letters to resumes.
Both of them said that I was "detail oriented"
[deleted]: Well come on we need more details!
elshroom: I think OP is not detail oriented.
| 3 | 34.333333 | |
1362336472 | 1362363668 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,012 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving a doodle at a hotel
My friends and I went to tahoe for a few days. We stayed at this nice place with a kitchen and everything right on the lake. Before we left we cleaned up the place. Putting all the used towels in a pile, starting the dishwasher, scrubbing down the counters and stove.
Whe... | 14 | 215.142857 | |
1362343292 | 1362456931 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | JohnWilkins: TIFU by making my mom think I have a butt fetish
I was listening to this new song [here](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Bf-8uc07PU). Then my Mom walked in and I accidentally clicked on [this video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lz5EYf0F9PU) of a girl shaking her butt to a song because I jumped when she o... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1362361533 | 1362592524 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | Sparky678348: TIFU by drawing very offensive things, in my health book.
Let me start by saying, my sense of humor can be summed up in one click: /r/ImGoingToHellForThis
In health class we recently got a new workbook. A softcover book, that we keep. In a fit of boredom, I flipped through the book and, on every image of... | 4 | 7 | |
1362366068 | 1362592490 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Th3Whiz: TIFU by wearing my favorite jeans
This actually happened Friday, but I haven't been on reddit in a while. Anyway, I decided to wear my favorite pair of light blue jeans. I noticed there was a small tear starting along the right leg, but I figured they were pretty durable jeans and they would hold up. Well, I w... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1362465952 | 1362651493 | t3_19lxu9 | t5_2to41 | 10 | Says_Pointless_Stuff: You've got to be the first other male in the world I've ever heard of that doesn't sleep around.
dank_bank: Does former sleeper arounder count? Those were the fucked up days of beer-soaked glory, they were.
Says_Pointless_Stuff: You learnt your lesson. :)
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1362372921 | 1362426725 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | [deleted]: TIFU by keeping my bedroom door unlocked while watching porn
This could be a LOT WORSE but I feel like such an idiot!
I live in a university dorm with another girl and we share a kitchen and bathroom but have separate bedrooms with doors which we can lock. We're not close, or friends by any means, but we ge... | 5 | 13.4 | |
1362379526 | 1362410542 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | chai-tyto: TIFU by letting a stranger borrow a doorstop
This started last night at work: a Wine and Liquor Store in a fairly nice part of my town. Around 5pm an average looking guy came in and explained that he had accidentally locked his keys in his car while picking it up from the auto repair shop next door. He asked... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1362371476 | 1362562531 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my paramour a beer and having her turn me down
Title says it all. Essentially what occurred is that I handed my paramour a beer while watching one of our favorite shows on the tele. Little did I know she was planning on a little bit of sexy time (ie. not wearing underwear) and wanted to stone-... | 4 | 5 | |
1362389855 | 1362631295 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling a joke (and now I need your help!)
**tl;dr Made a joke about a dead pet to a girl I am in love with, she tells me her beloved dog just died.**
I have had an estranged relationship with this girl I adore. Try as I might to patch things up with her and stop seeming like an insensitive jerk, t... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1362391680 | 1362550578 | null | t5_2to41 | -4 | tiny_mice: TIFU by forgetting to tell my dog walker I lost my job.
My temp contract is not being renewed and because I have holidays to take I am off from today. Only found out on Friday but feel bad I forgot to tell her til today. Now we are both out of a job.
[deleted]: Thanks Obama.
Borr: Yeah. Thank him for all th... | 3 | -1.333333 | |
1362409705 | 1362632500 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,222 | shoe-suede-blues: TIFU by almost cancelling everyone's classes at my university
**tl:dr Sent mass mail using registrar's email address declaring all of tomorrow's classes cancelled. Got caught.**
So I was playing around with this thing called Sendgrid. It allows you to send e-mails through a relay server. The importan... | 11 | 111.090909 | |
1362402181 | 1362422011 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | texas_pride: TIFU by causing a lady to have a bad Monday.
So, I ride a comutter train to work and therefore purchase a monthly ticket. I arrived at the ticket kiosk at the last minute, the train was pulling into the statiin. I could have prevented this all together had I not left my wallet at home last Fiday and purc... | 5 | 18.2 | |
1362421853 | 1362428948 | null | t5_2to41 | 92 | [deleted]: TIFU by saying "your parents don't love you, you're adopted". turns out hes actually adopted.
Today I was walking home from school with a kid in the younger year. We were just exchanging some friendly banter and he said "your parents don't love you cause you don't get straight As" (I'm Asian), and so I repli... | 5 | 18.4 | |
1362425339 | 1362528595 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting caught watching pigeons having sex
dfg
[deleted]: Sounds like a pretty shitty friend not to mention it to your face and then mock you behind your back to other people.
[deleted]: Sounds pretty standard for a group of friends actually. To stop the mockery, OP just needs to not give a shit and ... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1362434313 | 1362542006 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | KantoRedFTW: TIFU (Maybe Last Week) By Using My iPhone In The Rain
Backstory:
So, as a teenager, I have to text my mother letting her know I arrived at school safely. I had just gotten an iPhone 4 the other week and it was raining, like drizzling.
What happened:
As I'm walking under a scaffold, I decide to take my ph... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1362440573 | 1362532694 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | rdgwb: I broke my flash drive with all my files in it.
I'm going to give it a little context on why my flash drive broke making me go incognito for awhile to my class. [This is the flash drive that I'm talking about.(http://imgur.com/fTRz70C)
I usually keep my things locked up since I'm still living with my mother. M... | 5 | 2 | |
1362444172 | 1362500286 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting wasted and becoming a crazy bitch of an ex girlfriend... any advice'd be great
So my ex and I, who have had a really complicated relationship with a lot of bad things happening, ended things about a month an a half ago, but decided to stay friends. Things weren't too bad, not the easiest fri... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1362452472 | 1362513216 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | JJthecool1125: TIFU by shitting my pants,
Today I was browsing on reddit, when I got the urge to sneeze. Little did I know the disaster that was coming. As I braced for impact, I sneezed; But oh, this wasn't just any sneeze. I farted at the same time and I realized a couple seconds later that I had shit my pants. Today... | 4 | 5 | |
1362454437 | 1362508011 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: Today I fucked up by mixing ambien and alcohol
I am 32, educated and happily married(for the most part). I am also bored out of my mind and horny beyond whatever my husband could provide. So, one night, knowing I would be by myself until 3am(when he comes home from work), I drank a bottle of champagne. And s... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1362457159 | 1362494752 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally using the n word when my black friend's family could hear me.
Before I start anything I just want to say that my friend and I are really close, and we always use these words around/towards each other. And We only do it in a joking manner. Also I'm not racist, I have nothing against ot... | 3 | 11 | |
1362469464 | 1362542091 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,576 | [deleted]: Today I bleached my black hair thinking it would turn blonde..
[I was wrong.](http://i.imgur.com/Gz8AuW7.jpg)
I look like Lion-o and I have to rock this color for 3 weeks until I can correct it.
A small fuck up, but I can't look into a mirror without laughing and then crying.
SwimmingNaked: Gotta say, I ki... | 7 | 225.142857 | |
1362483711 | 1362489473 | null | t5_2to41 | 101 | bawhamper: Today I fucked up by wearing clothing drenched in cat piss.
A cold morning in London, I was up with the lark, had a shower and decided to wear a light top under a sweater for work. Said top was on a heater drying overnight after being laundered yesterday. It was also being pissed on by either of my two male ... | 4 | 25.25 | |
1362496354 | 1363192764 | null | t5_2to41 | 113 | ProteinDouche: TIFU My poop stinks and may have made a man vomit.
YourCurvyGirlfriend: Even if he did just have to vomit, that kinda sucks he had to stick his face right down in your heavy, condensed poop air
enkebabtack: OP is a lying faggot
http://www.reddit.com/r/Fitness/comments/115xgr/holy_shit_i_cant_handle_th... | 6 | 18.833333 | |
1362498460 | 1362980390 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Tri-Polar: TIFU by pissing off a friend of my boyfriend's family
This woman is nearly 40, I'm 18. She's a friend of my boyfriend's family, she drove him to the hospital once when he busted his face open when he was 7. She also happens to work with me. Now, I'm sure most of you have seen or heard of that video going ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1362502101 | 1362593932 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,373 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally going on a date with a 13 y/o
I am a New Zealander living in Chile and today I met my friend's sister. She was gorgeous. 6ft tall curvacious with a nice sense of dress. We started talking and eventually she offered for us to go down to the beach and around the town for a bit. I accepted ... | 13 | 105.615385 | |
1362499939 | 1362515541 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | TheWac0Kid: TIFU by going to my 9:30 lab
The only problem is that my lab isn't at 9:30. It's at 12:30. The TA has been grading my stuff and putting it in the other guy's box all semester and thought I just wanted to get my shit done early. The rest of the class thought this was hilarious (which it is). I've never met m... | 3 | 9 | |
1362525105 | 1362685620 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | Whiteblackheart: TIFU everything.
As part of my class activities, we all went trekking:
1. We all had to walk 5+ miles with these painfully heavy backpacks, and it was boiling hot.
2. I started crying whilst carrying the heavy backpack, looking like a weakling.
3. The whole class got annoyed with me because I wa... | 7 | 4.428571 | |
1362529034 | 1362585537 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,434 | For_fucks_sake_man: TIFU by causing my girlfriend to get attacked by an angry poodle immediately after sex. Definitely NSFW
Yeah. So there we were.. Half drunk, doin the ol' in and out. I felt like a pornstar, throwing dick like a mad man. She seems to be enjoying herself. I am having the time of my life. She asks me t... | 13 | 110.307692 | |
1362529513 | 1362536983 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting an email about school.
A few weeks ago, my mother got a message. Due to having an older sister at the highschool I want to go to, my twin and I would forgo the lottery and be accepted (we had sent in applications). We were psyched, as then we wouldn't be stuck at the same highschool as the ki... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1362536050 | 1362579434 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | StuffSmith: TIFU by accidentally calling an overweight woman fat
I was walking out of the school library with my sister. We're pretty brutal when we joke with each other, so when I asked her if she wanted to go get lunch with me, she replied, "No, you don't need to eat. You're fat."
I rolled my eyes, and said, "Yeah. ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1362542307 | 1362657132 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by deleting all our userdata worth of 2 years
I was developing a new administration interface of some internet-service from our company. Somehow due to "reading lazily over what was on the screen" I emptied a table in our SQL-Server, or in other words I deleted all the data users had submitted to one of... | 10 | 0.4 | |
1362546860 | 1362591973 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | thespickler: TIFU by joining OkCupid. Sigh.
I don't even have a problem meeting girls, or getting dates, or getting laid. I joined because so many people that I've talked to recently have been saying positive things about the site and citing positive experiences. Everyone has just been like, "What do you have to lose?"... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1362562806 | 1362724356 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | Kickawesome: TIFU by pissing in a mouth. A girl mouth.
One time I fucked up, i fucked up so bad i wished for the undo button.
I was chilling with this girl i wanted to make my girlfriend. She was into the same things I was into. Things like talking about theorical physics over sips of bourbon, watching terrible movies... | 6 | 12.166667 | |
1362534403 | 1362609015 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by joking with a kid who got cut from baseball only to be cut myself.
TIFU badly. After months of hard work, today was the day we found out if we made one of our 3 high school baseball teams. With 53 kids, my coach had to cut some players in order to not have too many players on the teams. Being a fresh... | 4 | 1 | |
1362582963 | 1362622303 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | Sillymeee: TIFU by doing a cam show to a scammer
I have all of his details, but he took pictures of me during the show and threatened to send them to family and workmates.
Knew the price was too good to be true, knew I should have been paid up front, still did it. Accidentally showed face.
Worst of all, I posed unde... | 7 | 6.857143 | |
1362594225 | 1366984739 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,462 | ChrisFRKNRogers: TIFU by adding an item to a shopping list.
**Wow, guys. Fuck Up Of The Week! I was not expecting such a response. Thanks for all the comments and support!**
This actually happened a few weeks ago, but I've just learned today of the unfortunate outcome to my actions.
My friend's mother asked me to dri... | 9 | 273.555556 | |
1362594905 | 1362858224 | null | t5_2to41 | 107 | RevesAvalon: TIFU by asking one of my former professors for a picture to submit to r/ladyboners
Many female students found him to be very attractive. I wanted to share a nice picture of him on the subreddit, I asked for his permission and he said that he knew about reddit. He also asked which sub I was going to put it... | 7 | 15.285714 | |
1362603328 | 1362764166 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | AnUnshavedSavage: TIFU by going to a train station alone at 10pm.
I am from the United States but I am studying in Florence for the semester. On my spring break I just traveled around Italy by train. As I was getting ready to leave Naples I went to the train station to get a ticket from one of the self service machines... | 5 | 5 | |
1362602459 | 1362637065 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by pissing off my roommate.
As a bit of background, I have an awful roommate. I'm in my first year of college, living in the dorms, and this is my first time living in the same room as someone, same with her. Full disclosure, I'm not the best roommate either, I'm pretty messy and like listening to music... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1362535076 | 1362758703 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | sillymonkey20: By shit-farting in my boy friend's sweat pants.
So this is my first reddit post ever and of course it is a shit my pants story!
Here it goes!
I was staying over at my boy friend's place this weekend. Well of course we made it a point to to have sex in every room in his apartment. But then Sunday night ro... | 3 | 4 | |
1362610663 | 1362681198 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | making_bank: TIFU by not pulling over
So this was actually last September, but I thought it's a good story to tell for my first reddit post!
I live on the west coast of Canada, so in my province the legal drinking age is 19. Naturally, on my 19th birthday, my girlfriends and I head out to a classy restaurant with a ba... | 3 | 15 | |
1362611454 | 1362767174 | null | t5_2to41 | 119 | mrpandaguy: TIFU. Never trust a ghost poop.
First things first: I keep good hygiene. I try to be clean, and like things to be clean. That being said, I take ass-washing seriously. I keep my ass clean, and wipe thoroughly.
Earlier this morning, I had to take a MONSTER dump. It felt like I hadn't crapped in days. I had ... | 9 | 13.222222 | |
1362613470 | 1362615244 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU By calling one of my best friends a Cyberman.
We were talking about feelings.
And they said its better to ignore them.
And I called them a cyberman.
And explained that cybermen are incapable of emotion because once they feel it they can't handle it and die.
I said that they were a heartless steel m... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1362615344 | 1362627434 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | happyjoyshit: Tifu by laughing...
I was sitting at work reading over reddit and came across a few funny posts and then the post about a guy throwing a poodle at his cum covered gf and i laughed so hard for so long and it was a bad idea to wait to go to the restroom. So i was laughing much i threw up and pissed myself .... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1362618667 | 1362724436 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by cutting off some dick skin while trimming my bush.
I was trimming my man hedges today, and I didn't want to shave them, getting razor bumps in the near future. So I tried to trim them really closely with my scissors and managed to avoid some rather close calls 99% of the time.
But for one snip, I m... | 7 | 6.428571 | |
1362623944 | 1362684509 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | mems_account: TIFU by not backing up my USB.
I'm taking a comp-sci class in high school and had all my work on a usb stick. And being the dumbass that I am, I never backed it up. Yesterday I forgot it at school and it wan't there today. So over a semester's worth of work has been flushed down the drain.
wickedcity: Ha... | 3 | 3 | |
1362629741 | 1362719340 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | ChanceDriven: Today I spent $50 to take a picture of a cat at the KFC
My old car had lock problems so I lock even my new(er) car out of habit as I get out. Well I drove up to the KFC and I see an adorable little cat hanging out under a giant truck. I felt like taking pictures....
As I got out of my car I locked it beh... | 10 | 1.1 | |
1362659481 | 1362795511 | null | t5_2to41 | 144 | currently_incognito: TIFU by eating school sushi
So yesterday at school I decided to get the crab sushi because everything else was shit. I sat at my table eating all the sushi in box. I thought it was so good I should start eating it a lot more. Fastward to the morning I wake up. My boxers are wet. I panicked thinking... | 7 | 20.571429 | |
1362659551 | 1362711472 | null | t5_2to41 | 882 | muleswithbinoculars: TIFU By Feeding My 1-Year Old a Full Bottle of Liquid Coffee Creamer
My wife and I knew something was up. The baby had shit at least six times throughout the day. On any given day her norm is 1-2 poops. But we figured something she had eaten didn't agree with her.
Yesterday morning I poured her a... | 10 | 88.2 | |
1362663551 | 1362692282 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | zendium: TIFU by inhaling pizza, and had an near death experience.
I study in an European country, and had just gotten back from summer vacation. So my friends got together to catch up and during the night we got really high. The following munchies resulted in a personal best at the local takeaway shop.
After a long ... | 5 | 9 | |
1362688988 | 1362868597 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | SarahHeartzUnicorns: TIFU by baking my smartphone.
I was walking home from school when I slipped down a hill in the snow. It was slushy snow. I was listening to my music, as I always do, while walking home. It was on top of my books, against my chest, but when I fell, I dropped all my things.
It took a moment to find ... | 6 | 4 | |
1362682940 | 1362715488 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by Pooping my Pants and Almost Breaking my Toe
To clarify, this happened a couple of months ago.
So here I am, getting ready for school, about to put my clothes on. As I'm tying my shoes, I get the urge to fart. I did my best not to push it, but as it so happens, I push a little. I let loose a sigh in ... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1362693918 | 1362711732 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU and spent a shitload of mystery money.
Grand parents pass away, inheritance is being wired to bank accounts, two weeks later two grand shows up, I spend 1200 of it, turns out I was not in the will for any money. Bank is off their stick, nobody has any idea where it came from, all I know is I spent a shi... | 8 | 2.25 | |
1362693139 | 1362724951 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | abspam3: TIFU By Using git
Alright, here's one for you techies out there.
I was working on a project, and I had just gotten access to the git repository (so no files were yet committed) so, I did a git add *before* adding a .gitignore for the project. By doing so, I had checked in the wrong files.
But I thought, no b... | 8 | 8 | |
1362705313 | 1362808019 | null | t5_2to41 | 670 | thedoctorg20: TIFU and stuck my dick in crazy and immediately regretted it. However, the ass was fat. (Disclaimer, bit of a read. TL;DR at the top)
Preface: A bit of a read, but well worth it if you have the time. I pray that this fate never befalls any of you.
TL;DR- I eight-pumped a horny co-ed to shut her up, she b... | 9 | 74.444444 | |
1362710537 | 1362713281 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU and I blame my hunger pangs
So, I work in the heart of downtown and all around me are nothing but good places to eat. All very tempting and fairly priced, but it can add up quickly if you go out to eat for lunch all the time. Anyways, I try to be good, either I bring my own lunch or I try and hold out... | 4 | 12 | |
1362712674 | 1363425949 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | datedbestfriend: TIFU and dated my best friend of several years.
We were good friends for 5 years. We helped each other out with school, work, and personal problems. We decided to start dating a few months ago, and we just went through a bad breakup. Now I no longer have a girlfriend and I don't have a best friend anym... | 3 | 13 | |
1362715041 | 1362719321 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | Pr3tzals: TIFU - Recently bought a CD
So a couple weeks ago I pre order Kavinsky's - Outrun album on CD and have been eagerly awaiting for it to arrive, and a few days ago I bought a new stereo for my car with the main attraction being Bluetooth calling/hands-free.
So my CD arrives today and I am eagerly awaiting to h... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1362725381 | 1363159927 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | Jovial_Gorilla: TIFU By picking my wedgie in front of a hot chick.
I was at the bar and I turned to meet the gaze of a really hot redhead right as my fingers were right up my pants, relieving myself of discomfort. Her expression went from interested to disgusted when she realized what I was doing.
Maarek: Should have a... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1362747345 | 1362779258 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | hungryhippster: TIFU by trusting a fart
I was out with a few friends and my girlfriend celebrating Green Beer Day, an annual tradition at my school the Thursday before Spring Break, and I had ate some pretty greasy fish sandwiches earlier for lunch. Unknowingly this cheap green beer and fish sandwich cocktail was brewi... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1362762425 | 1362810085 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | soggyburrito24: TIFU I got my friend kicked out of her apartment
My friend (girl) lives in student housing and one of the rules is no guys sleeping over and they have to be out by 11 pm. Well since i used to live in the same complex the managers knew what my car looked like. So i left a little past curfew on a few occa... | 6 | 5.833333 | |
1362756548 | 1362768731 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | dannyk15219: TIFU by being alone on the internet too long.
So it's spring break, and I didn't go anywhere because I convinced myself I was gonna do work (yeah, right), and I decided the last couple days to work from home and not go into the lab. That means unlimited access to reddit and the rest of the internet. Well y... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1362763907 | 1362777203 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | jurgvonschmurg: TIFU by trying to stretch things out
I'm currently sitting on the shoulder of a very busy major highway (16-lane), because I was trying to get the most out of a tank of gas. I'm a CAA member, so this is all going to get sorted out at no expense, but boy do I feel like a horses patoot. I feel even dumber... | 4 | 12 | |
1362767646 | 1362848301 | null | t5_2to41 | 937 | a_swaggner: TIFU by laughing at a rape joke at the Vagina Monologues
My friend was in the Vagina Monologues at my university and I had absolutely no idea what to expect. All of my friends wanted to be close, so I followed them to the second row. One girl during it was absolutely hilarious and had me in tears from laugh... | 8 | 117.125 | |
1362779361 | 1362796008 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | jeebsalexander: TIFU by looking at a girls but in class.
There is a very attractive girl that sits in the row in front of me. She stood up as I happened to look in her general direction and I my eyes fell directly on her very nice buttox. After realizing what I was doing I look up to the professor who had been watchin... | 4 | 26.5 | |
1362805480 | 1362807520 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | smills79: TIFU by eating out my girlfriend after engaging in a hot wings eating competition.
Ok so this didn't actually happen but what if it did?
[deleted]: One time I ate out my ex after eating a chocolate cake. She then proceeded to make out with me (why do they always want to make out after giving/receiving oral?) ... | 3 | 1 | |
1362809375 | 1362923789 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | [deleted]: TIFU and i shaved my crotch
Oh god i regret it. I find it is easiest to get all my pubes the same length by using my small trimmer with no guard. Oh but i nicked my junk in a couple of places and the burning and itching is driving me mad. No throwaway here cause i don't even care. Today i fucked up by cuttin... | 5 | 15.8 | |
1362799441 | 1362882683 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | iamnotclevr: TIFU by saying the worst thing in the worst place at the worst time
So I was at the gym benching and I was joking that I wished I was fat like (one of my friends) so I could bench more by bouncing thebar off my man titties. This friend i was joking about was commonly reffered to by their last name, as was ... | 5 | 12.4 | |
1362817676 | 1363619810 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | 1ateupoatmeal: TIFU by agreeing that it was a good idea to let my fiancee be a call girl for $500 for one night.
It's 2:26 am and i'm on reddit.
[deleted]: So. Why did you think it would be a good idea (or agree) and why the change of mind?
It's 10:57 PM and I'm on reddit too, but that doesn't explain the situation ... | 5 | 0.4 | |
1362837274 | 1363161617 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU Didn't sleep at all
Spent most of the night thinking about things that are out of my control. It's now 6am and I am smoking Pumpkin Pie flavored hookah by myself. This shit tastes like an actual pie. Now I want pie.
CokeHeadRob: Sounds like every night for me. I often say fuck it and stay up until the ... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1362837707 | 1362993082 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | nillercoke: TIFU By asking my dad a question I wasn't ready to hear the answer to.
It was actually yesterday, but here goes.
First- He isn't my biological father, but he's the only one I've ever known. He's always called me his daughter, always been there, and I love him like he is my real dad.
I woke up yesterday and ... | 7 | 17.428571 | |
1362804792 | 1362972406 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | GoldenWolf60: TIFU by shoryukening my Grandma's cat
It happened a while back but still thought i'd share.
I should start off by saying this cat, like most cats, is bipolar. I was petting her when she latched onto my friggin' wrist and proceeded to bite and scratch the living (insert expletive here) out of me. My first... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1362840669 | 1362915482 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,891 | EazyDozeIt: TIFU Woke Up In My Car
I went to a party last night. Drank way too much. While fucking a girl in the back seat of my car I passed out. Woke up at 6am with everything but my pants, boxers, and phone. Get out of my car with no bottoms on. A homeless person helped me find my boxers and pants under a car ne... | 12 | 157.583333 | |
1362852400 | 1363016637 | null | t5_2to41 | 109 | [deleted]: TIFU by burning my tits with hot noodle water.
I made noodles and I was holding the bowl while eating it and I unintentionally tilted it onto my boobs. Now they're burnt and my BF is laughing at me. Fucking noodles.
Edit: Fucking starch allergy. I have a nasty fucking tit rash. It's oozing bloody pus. I'm h... | 13 | 8.384615 | |
1362855082 | 1372284848 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | proofinpuddin: TIFU by trying to be a good pet owner
A little over a month ago we adopted a cat from the shelter who had previously had ear mites. They were cleared up with revolution, and the vet said to clean out we ears and the gross bits inside with q tips to make sure they weren't coming back.
So here I am i... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1362867844 | 1362901032 | null | t5_2to41 | 152 | [deleted]: TIFU by bringing the wrong shorts.
I woke up this morning to a text from a friend asking if I wanted to go swimming at 1pm (It was around 10am) I replied agreeing. But I fell back asleep. I woke up and to my horror it was 12:30 pm I got out of bed and opened my cupboard, grabbed the first pair of shorts I sa... | 3 | 50.666667 | |
1362870592 | 1363000542 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing my keys and having to sleep outside.
I have just recently started working and living in another town, after finishing school. But in the weekends I come back to my hometown and sleep at my parents place, because I love this town and almost all my friends are there. And yesterday, I was driving... | 5 | 10.8 | |
1362807271 | 1362888671 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | Corrig-: TIFU by starving my cats for most if not all of this weekend.
My wife and I are visiting family in Connecticut this weekend.
We live in Ohio and have two cats who are sisters about ~2 years old. We arranged for a coworker to come to our apartment and feed them while we were gone. We only feed them wet food so... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1362872995 | 1362966846 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | underpantsbummer: TIFU By Waking Up to Vigorously
So this undeniably shit day started out around 6am.
I began to wake up with a slight but sharp pain coming from toes, moving from toe to toe like some little pin pricks, after a few seconds of this I was wide awake and instinctively wanted to find out what the hell thi... | 4 | 28.75 | |
1362877816 | 1362882523 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Kyl295: TIFU delivering sushi
So I have a friend delivers at this place asked me to cover for him, me being the broke jobless high school kid I leap at the opportunity. Even though my car's in the shop, I borrow my dad's in order to work. Go in midday, slow only 2 deliveries, then the third one comes. The third deliver... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1362870789 | 1363572165 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | timeforchange995: TIFU by calling a black friend "slave"
I work at the writing center at my school as a tutor, and my friend is a student assistant (answering phones, setting appointments) for us. She also helps tidy up the place, so she came to get a stack of papers that I was going to shred off my desk. As I handed t... | 6 | 10.833333 | |
1362886357 | 1362934021 | null | t5_2to41 | 322 | ParathaReddit: TIFU by almost getting my dad fired.
It all starts out on a normal day. I'm running late for school, and I'm in a hurry. As I barge out of the door, I realize that I have forgotten my keys and that without them I'd have no way inside my house because my father would be at work. I head back in a rush and ... | 8 | 40.25 | |
1362901880 | 1362925017 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | Tom72: TIFU by dropping my grade so low on an online class, I had to drop it.
I'm going to a community college. It's all good, I'm saving a shit ton. I'm taking advantage of local opportunities like volunteering and internship. Less competition in the ladder, so I'm sure it's beneficial.
Because of some priority iss... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1362904342 | 1362947426 | null | t5_2to41 | 189 | funkymunniez: Tifu by being proactive about daylight savings
Knowing daylight savings was coming this morning I decided to set my alarm for one am (normally up at two for work). Great! Alarms are set back an hour so I don't have to worry about anything with the time change. Get up on the morning and clocks say 1 am.... | 16 | 11.8125 | |
1362855940 | 1362965810 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | revengemaker: TIFU and learned the true extent of my mother's telepathy.
Driving back home around 3 am and have to PISS. I had just started driving a stick shift and pretty pro after only a few months. Pull into my driveway, it's dark, immediately jump out and pull my pants down pissing in the grass next to the drivewa... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1362935185 | 1362983575 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,033 | yellowjelly: TIFU at the gym
I've recently been going to the gym at my university and lately I've started feeling more confident. Well today I wiped that confidence away. Seeing the rugby was being shown on a television, I decided to swap treadmills to get a better view. Without thinking, I stepped behind my friend to ... | 10 | 103.3 | |
1362920659 | 1362941259 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | orbitalics: TIFU by getting my bagel toasted twice at the bread co.
now its burned and tastes funny.
americanscheme: This is a tiny little fuck up.
orbitalics: it is a fuck up though :D
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1362940080 | 1363351216 | null | t5_2to41 | 308 | thedaysrunaway: TIFU by sleeping through sexy times
(yesterday, not today)
Life has been stupidly hectic for my partner and me recently and we've had no time to ourselves. For a while, we'd been planning to keep yesterday free to simply spend some quality time together and chill. At the risk of getting a little person... | 8 | 38.5 | |
1362943814 | 1362954709 | null | t5_2to41 | -1 | Aszuul: TIFU trying to make a joke on Reddit
It turns out nobody on reddit understands sarcasm, even when it's blatantly obvious. they always just think you're too stupid to be sarcastic. this incident was about military time, but it happens a lot more often then you'd think. so just a quick TIFU: tried to be funny to ... | 4 | -0.25 | |
1362946739 | 1362969855 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | sumano: TIFU by getting black out drunk
Ok so leading up to Friday night me and few other friends wanted to go shot for shot. I of course was down. Little did I know that after I agreed to this a girl I liked was coming that night...well we started our shot for shot around 8 or 9(minor note one of friends gave me a edi... | 6 | 8.166667 | |
1362951770 | 1362963045 | null | t5_2to41 | 146 | dtlilcas: TIFU by sneezing during my transformation into a man...
Basically I've been dating this girl for about a week and I finally decided to make a move and go in for a kiss while at the movies. On my way in my nose begins to itch but I don't bother to stop now. Wrong choice, my nose decides to explode in all it's ... | 7 | 20.857143 | |
1362973673 | 1363002918 | null | t5_2to41 | 981 | Troll-bi-wan-kenobi: TIFU By letting my Grandmother touch my semen
So Saturday I was with my girlfriend and we were driving around the city searching for fun things to do. At dinner, she ordered steak, potatoes and gravy. After dinner she wanted a taste of my baby gravy so I willingly and happily let her have it. After... | 8 | 122.625 | |
1362976442 | 1362984710 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | ohgodtheguilt: TIFU and did horrible things to my friend,the likes of which our friendship will never be able to totally recover from.
Honestly, I don't even feel comfortable saying what I did with a throw away. It was so far across so many lines that there's no getting back to how things were. I feel sick to my stomac... | 5 | 3 | |
1362976548 | 1363042811 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by "earning" $290
Its 11:00am on this sunday morning when the event in question occurred. I was casually driving to my bank, enjoying the fantastic weather. I pull up to the ATM while on the phone with a friend. I take out my $145 paycheck and submit it without problems. Easy.
Later. While cleaning ... | 4 | 10 | |
1362996681 | 1363025499 | null | t5_2to41 | 189 | [deleted]: TIFU by Refusing to Use a Public Bathroom
This whole incident could have been avoided if I simply caved in to the obvious warning signs my body was giving me, but I was too set on using my own personal bathroom to avoid this mentally exhausting and physically excruciating moment of my life.
Earlier today as... | 4 | 47.25 | |
1363017824 | 1363118761 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | zyx279: TIFU (About three years ago) by beating up a friend in front of a foreign exchange student.
A few years ago, my school ran a foreign exchange program, some students from a fairly wealthy suburb of Barcelona came to stay with families where I live for a week and we went over there later on in the year. The stud... | 6 | 13.833333 | |
1363018324 | 1363149461 | null | t5_2to41 | 262 | blackion: TIFU by thinking that birds in a crowded parking lot knew when to get out of the way.
To make a long story short, I was driving past Appebees in a shopping center i work in. This was Sunday at about 11:45 so all the church families in my town are heading out to brunch. Well i thought the group of birds would ... | 5 | 52.4 | |
1363021417 | 1363055089 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,125 | heathencoyote: TIFU by letting my 6 year old brother eat K-Y jelly.
Both of my parents are out of town and I'm watching my little brother while they're away. So today I woke up and started to get him ready for school. We were running a little late so I asked him if he would make himself a lunch while I took a shower. A... | 10 | 112.5 | |
1363027924 | 1363036918 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | Tronberr: TIFU by holding up the elevator.
And to make this clear, I'm going to say "lift" instead of "elevator" simply because I'm English and don't say said word.
I was walking out of maths today in college as I had a two hour lesson with a small break in between. I decided to take the lift and just go down to the f... | 6 | 8.833333 |
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