start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1363033668 | 1363135883 | null | t5_2to41 | 325 | Skeet_n_retreat: TIFU by using hand sanitizer, then having a smoke.
TIFU, by using hand sanitizer after using the pen at my pharmacy. I got carried away and put way too much on my hands. I then proceeded to leave the pharmacy and light up a cigarette on the way to my car. I guess I got my lighter too close to the exces... | 9 | 36.111111 | |
1363036832 | 1363119490 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | moneyballshma: TIFU making an Israel comment
Never say ANYTHING negative about Israel on Facebook if you have lots of Jewish friends, it'll end up being a clusterfuck of shit at the end.
_streetgeek: Fuck israel.
Let the down-votes ensue.
crypticblizzard: Fuck israel, have an upvote!
nydac98: And another
bluegrassja... | 6 | 9.333333 | |
1363041343 | 1363087532 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,380 | lightninginabottle: TIFU by ejaculating in a bottle.
As a foul horny teenager without a cum rag in the immediate vicinity, I resorted the the nearest thing when it came time to blow my load, which just so happened to be a bottle on my desk. A few days go by and I pop a few more loads in there without thinking anything... | 12 | 281.666667 | |
1363040710 | 1363047889 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | t_j_k: TIFU by getting my semen on my homework... NSFW text
So, my fap sessions end in me ejaculating into a wad of toilet paper, over a paper plate or more TP, so any drippings don't get onto the table. I would set down the main seminal repository, and using a few more sheets, clean off my hands and penis for proper d... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1363049966 | 1363112605 | null | t5_2to41 | 179 | PoopShoot-Commander: TIFU by making my friend shit herself.
Throwaway because she reddits frequently.
Like all great stories about poop, this one started in the cafeteria. The lunch was a beef taco with a side of rice. I never ate the tacos because they taste terrible, but my friend on the other hand loved them. I ... | 7 | 25.571429 | |
1363055452 | 1363201427 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidently disconnecting from a several hour long Omegle chat with the most interesting person i've ever met.
I was on the questions thing, it started off with a question about what men wear when theyre sleeping. We got to talking and we covered so many topics, such as what we were doing with out liv... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1363056485 | 1363113163 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Walaument: TIFU(6 Months Ago) by making a joke with my friends
There are a few main people in this story; Me, James, and Xavier, Austin, Brian, and Zack
The story of October 19th:
(tl;dr at the end)
It all started out six months ago with my group of friends at my school on a Monday morning. The whole group was there... | 4 | 2 | |
1363051007 | 1363178511 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | PresidentD: TIFU by breaking my brand new uninsured samsung galaxy s3
Girlfriend was yelling at me for having mold in my trashcan (it will cause asthma, that causes cancer **blah blah** why are we listening to news you dont even comprehend what they are saying **Bitch complain** I cant beleive you woke me up so early),... | 5 | 3.6 | |
1363060087 | 1363128455 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | taylordesoto: TIFU by killing a mallard.
I was golfing, and a fat heard of mallards were relaxing by the green about 176 yards out. I have played this hole many times before, and am pretty confident I can hit the green. 'THWACK' I send the ball off, my hands hurt from a slight vibration, which means my ball wasn't goin... | 4 | 7 | |
1363046794 | 1363219308 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | TacosAreJustice: TIFU by sending an inappropriate text to my boss immediately following a promotion.
I had to wait a few hours for my final interview with a VP before my promotion was official... was harassing a coworker of mine via text, and after the interview said "Tell (other coworker) that he reports to me now, an... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1363060330 | 1363145642 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally saying Ted Bundy was a "Good Guy"
I was generally tired and my Psychology teacher and another girl in my class were talking about Ted Bundy. I wasn't really listening drinking my coffee when the girl in my class proceeded to talk about how creepy and ahead of the game he was. I then said... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1363066065 | 1363073340 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | whynotregister: TIFU by playing words with friends
(took place Last week)
I went over to the suite of my good friend/occasional hookup partner to pick up a book i had lent her. She wasn't there and I REALLY had to shit so I used the bathroom in her suite. Naturally I played a few turns in Words With Friends while I p... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1363050440 | 1363217672 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | sushimasterswag: TIFU by giving a high five to a girl in a wheelchair.
So today when I was longboarding down locust walk and coming to the corner of of a three way intersection right in the heart of Upenn. There was this girl in a wheelchair like a regular wheelchair and I thought heh maybe she broke her leg and this i... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1363119308 | 1363145999 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,162 | vitaminc28: TIFU by having sex after getting pepper sprayed.
Last night I was at a friend's house with a couple of buddies. We were drinking and hanging out having a guy's night. After a few beers we got to talking about pepper spray (somehow) and my buddy said he had a can in his car. So for $20 I decided to let them... | 11 | 105.636364 | |
1363121486 | 1363154237 | null | t5_2to41 | 107 | TKOS7: TIFU by deleting my entire hard drive.
So today I woke up with a nice fresh copy of Linux installed on a 20gig partition; the fruits of last night's labours. Lovely. Except it wasn't. Booting up broke the partition for some reason, so I erased it and started to install from scratch, unfortunately forgetting to a... | 7 | 15.285714 | |
1363122758 | 1363136001 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | DR_F33LG0OD: TIFU by getting a really really bad speeding ticket right after totaling two cars.
(Techincally last night I fucked up but whatever) Ok, this post is probably going to be a garbled mess because I'm more or less having a panic attack right now. This year, I've totaled two cars. A week before the last one I ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1363131021 | 1363378757 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | TenthSpeedWriter: TIFU with the help of Creedence Clearwater Revival
So, I walked into the local Waffle House (a campy yet delicious diner chain). The first thing I do when I walk into any Waffle House is immediately highjack the jukebox.
The selection on this particular jukebox was utter crap, so I idly flipped throu... | 3 | 17.666667 | |
1363128759 | 1363228030 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | Ken-the-pilot: TIFU by killing a baby bird with my lawnmower
I had the day off today, so I decided to help my dad out and cut the grass while he was at work. I was having a dandy time until I noticed the grass shaking and moving a little in front of me. So I shut off the mower and investigate to find three or four baby... | 6 | 7 | |
1363143690 | 1363236111 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU and lost my only friend
I am a sophomore in high school. I transfered this year, and I don't know many people. Anyway, last semester I made a horrible decision in friends when I started hanging out with a suicidal person. I managed to end it before too long, but that left me with no friends. I then mee... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1363146184 | 1363156074 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | AngryFather: TIFU by making my girlfriend cry.
A little back story - My girlfriend and I are both 16 and this is my first major serious relationship. We've been "official" since February 26th and she's met my parents and I've met hers.
So she picks me up from school today and we finished up some math and English homew... | 3 | 6 | |
1363148583 | 1364738649 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | staci44: TIFU and spilled my entire cup of coffee on my MacBook Pro. It's completely dead.
This actually happened last Saturday. I was on my laptop at the table with my coffee in front of the keyboard. I'm usually not too careful about liquids near my computer, hence the coffee spill.
The phone rang and as I got to ge... | 9 | 3.666667 | |
1363156527 | 1363196661 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating an entire jar of maraschino cherries.
I don't think there's anything else to say :/
Katatonia13: Could be worse. Look up the Chinese tourcher using bay leaves
rabbitambulance: What the hell is a tourcher?
Katatonia13: I guess it's how I spell torture when I'm kinda drunk.
rabbitambulance: OOOo... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1363175892 | 1363215399 | null | t5_2to41 | 278 | [deleted]: TIFU by shooting my couch with a 1911....
Well... not today, but Sunday... two days ago.
My friend told me his girlfriend was interested in going out to shoot. She had never been around guns, and always wanted to go shooting. I've denied his request to go out shooting numerous times over the last few months... | 11 | 25.272727 | |
1363171715 | 1363216035 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | the95th: TIFU by having a hangover.
Last night I went to my usual drinking establishment, everything was going swimmingly.
When I got home, I grabbed my ipad, and went and had a bath using the ipad for music and video entertainment while my inebriated brain relaxed in the tub.
Eventually this escalated to watching som... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1363179289 | 1363296796 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to help a cat
Well, this was not today, in fact it was about 3 months ago. We were on our way to the Nakato near my house for my sister's birthday. All of our mouths were watering, unable to wait any longer. When we finally pulled into a parking lot, my 10 year old brother spotted a stray cat.... | 5 | 23.6 | |
1363191460 | 1363213035 | null | t5_2to41 | 194 | [deleted]: TIFU by destroying all my own favourite clothes.
I woke up this morning to a phone call from my doctor's office, postponing my much needed appointment indefinitely (for the second time). This is Canada, so I have to wait.
That was bad enough.
I then went over to the dryer to pick out my clothes for the d... | 5 | 38.8 | |
1363192377 | 1363542089 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | reinnsreinn: TIFU when I found my husband's porn stash.
I was up late last night, filling out job applications, and got into the drop box to get my old resume-just in case I needed the references. And found the porn folder. I don't mind porn, I have porn. But I don't get on web cam pages and fucking talk to people. So ... | 10 | 1.1 | |
1363192293 | 1363207993 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | cosmicsans: TIFU by trying to hotswap a sata drive and now my computer won't turn on.
Won't even post Bios. As I was trying to follow one of the cords from my PSU, I wiggled one to get around it and the computer shut off. Fuck. So, I decide "well, now that it's off I can at least do a full wire tuck and make it loo... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1363197021 | 1363199051 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by failing a class in the exact same way I failed it previously
I'm young and dumb and carry a bad attitude about school. I've failed to keep up in a certain class at my (Canadian) College Business program, twice now. I knew exactly what I had to do, but I did not do it.
I started a tiny landscaping bu... | 3 | 12 | |
1363196381 | 1363212170 | null | t5_2to41 | 500 | laxerado1313: TIFU by shitting at school...
So there I am, sitting in class, counting down the minutes until I get to leave this place to go home. Class gets out, begin to walk to the bus to head home. Suddenly massive urge to shit overtakes my body. No way I'm making it home. Rush to nearest bathroom in library buildi... | 7 | 71.428571 | |
1363207670 | 1363532100 | null | t5_2to41 | 81 | VIOLENT_SEXUAL_ACT: TIFU by playing a really hardcore r/gonewildaudio clip through soundcloud which is linked to my facebook profile.
So for my first night with a reddit account I decided to explore r/gonewildaudio. Being pretty stoned I was not able to get any of them working with my current preferences. I started ope... | 5 | 16.2 | |
1363211325 | 1363294725 | null | t5_2to41 | 77 | MurielDaylight: TIFU by shitting my pants and then a cop shows up
Okay, this actually happened quite a few years ago, but since I didn't know about TIFU back then, I figured I could tell it now.
Quick backstory, I have had IBS for most of my life. I have had more emergency stops at fast food restaurants, truck stops,... | 6 | 12.833333 | |
1363212058 | 1363361796 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | beencounter: TIFU by getting wasted and puking all over myself
This story is basically a win because the guy still talks to me.
I had a met a cute DJ and went to a bar with a friend to show some support. Drinking commences. After awhile, me and said friend head to a different bar to meet other friends and continue dr... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1363215595 | 1363260385 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | grouch1980: TIFU by confusing Preparation H for toothpaste.
Pretty straight forward really. I get up at 5:45am everyday and head straight for the bathroom. I always flip on the bathroom light (which makes me squint), grab my toothbrush, apply toothpaste, sit on the crapper, and drain my bladder whilst brushing my teeth... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1363217862 | 1363292546 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | RuinedSearchHistory: TI(also)FU making coffee
I am most definitely not a morning person. Some days I put odd socks on, forget keys, phone and wallet and all that typical stuff.
A few weeks ago however, I topped my high score for most ridiculous tired behaviour ever. I was making my morning coffee, all going well. Two... | 6 | 2 | |
1363217820 | 1363229138 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,658 | notaneggspert: Tifu and now I'm stuck in my girlfriends closet [help]
So I'm on spring break her parents go to her brothers baseball game that's an hour away but take separate cars.
I sneek into her house anyways and we enjoy some alone time for the first time in 2 months. We're good, we're cuddling and the garage doo... | 12 | 138.166667 | |
1363222280 | 1363276368 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | TamborinesAndThyme: TIFU by eating two big macs and having 3 cups of coffee in a two hour span.
My bowels have never been so forceful in my life.
Meudhros: But did you shit your pants?
TamborinesAndThyme: No, but it was a close call.
kittycanyoufly: Then why are you on the pant shitting subreddit
TamborinesAndThyme: Fa... | 5 | 7 | |
1363228529 | 1363263660 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | gabrieloratorian: I never admitted this but TIFU ( T stands for Thanksgiving.) by volunteering to make a casserole.
So the week before this last years thanksgiving my mother called asking me what I was going to bring to our annual thanksgiving lunch. I couldn't think of much but a cheesy casserole my friend would make... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1363231599 | 1363281132 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By Pissing Off The Man Who May Or May Not Pass Me This Year (Story Inside)
Alright Reddit, this isn't the worst thing that's happened to me regarding pissing off teachers, but it's one of my more memorable situations. Let me start by saying this teacher absolutely *hates* any kind of profane language in... | 5 | 1 | |
1363236878 | 1363314243 | null | t5_2to41 | 123 | ejtheman123: TIFU Cbroke some shit, fucked the store over, got yelled at by every single employee. 90% of the customers got refunds.
I work the Dishes at Chipotle every now and then. We have something called "Hotel Pans" which are the largest pans we have. Mainly for storing large amounts of cheese, corn, etc. While p... | 7 | 17.571429 | |
1363238849 | 1363293923 | null | t5_2to41 | 317 | shitcannon: TIFU by trying to nofap
I'm at a weird stage in my life. I'm 28 and I just moved back to my hometown after quitting my job and moving to a bigger city months ago. Long setup short, I figured out that I was leaving fixable problems and I'm kind of a dumbass. I think they call this the quarter-life crisis thi... | 5 | 63.4 | |
1363237455 | 1363388197 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | Freddycatking: TIFU by destroying half of the basement.
I was on our middle floor, putting water into an electric tea-kettle for a hot drink. The water pressure in our sink is very low, so I forgot about it, and left it on for about, you know, 5 hours.
My dad comes home and tells me in a stunned voice that I better go... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1363246983 | 1363255823 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFI: By fainting in front of my class.
So the title really says it all, I was presenting my speech in front of my english class (roughly 30 people) and halfway through the conclusion I fainted. Apparently I stood still for 30 seconds before beginning to stumble back to my desk. I was assisted into a sitting... | 5 | 8 | |
1363265098 | 1363278160 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | [deleted]: TIFU by not locking my bathroom door in a public library
I was feeling rather thirsty and decided to leave my books for a while and go get some water in the bathroom. Once there, I figured I might as well finish some other physiological obligations. When I finished releasing piss, I stood up and started clea... | 3 | 28.333333 | |
1363264782 | 1363317897 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | Necrospire: TIFU TV Screen cleaning
I was watching the TV and thought 'that screen really needs a clean' so I got the glass cleaner, duster and cleaned it, sat back down and it was looking like I had not touched it, I thought 'must be the cleaner, out of date or something'. Walked into town bought a new one and came ho... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1363237008 | 1363322073 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | fattypattyy: TIFU by spilling a customer's drink on her in the drive thru.
She was driving her friend's car. And she was not pleased.
xlewisbdx: Are you sure?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Os_kffCwIO4
fattypattyy: What a sick joke.
| 3 | 2 | |
1363277926 | 1363449876 | null | t5_2to41 | 214 | DeRezolution: TIFU by almost blowing myself up using compressed air before lighting a pilot light.
I just moved last week and today I noticed my furnace pilot light had gone out. After trying to light the pilot per the instructions on the unit with no luck, I decided that it might be dust causing low gas flow. This was... | 6 | 35.666667 | |
1363279700 | 1363292830 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | t_11: TIFU by almost having an at fault accident with an on call ambulance.
I was blasting my music and go through the green light at a blind intersection. Cars stopped from all directions. Go through only to see an ambulance speeding towards me. I gun it only to plow into a snowbank.
Doesnt_Baby_People: Turn your fuck... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1363290772 | 1363291752 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | taurus_tourist: TIFU my best friend's love life
I gave one of my best guy friends the impression that a girl he's into has mutual feelings about him....when I don't actually know if this is true. I was just trying to give him the confidence to make a move when he usually psychs himself out before he can even say "hey" ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1363294722 | 1363298944 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | evomax01: TIFU and got scammed $200 by this fake Italian designer and knockoff jackets.
Walking along the streets when this rich looking Italian guy shows up on a rented SUV. He says he is a designer for Armani and he looks the part. He parked on the street and showed me these three expensive looking jackets and said t... | 5 | 17 | |
1363297757 | 1363301554 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | xxopethxx: TIFU and made a mess in my friend’s backhouse.
My friend and I were hanging out in his living room drinking loads of beer and eating chips and salsa like starving madmen. It was basically our dinner. After a couple hours of drinking beers, he runs into his pantry and pulls out a bottle of Honey Jack Dani... | 5 | 9.6 | |
1363300292 | 1363343131 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by peeing before a drug test
I just started a new job today and they requested that I go submit to a drug test. I stopped at home to change clothes and use the restroom (bad idea) before heading to the clinic.
Once I got there, the nurse gave me the cup and told me to fill it up to a certain line. I p... | 4 | 2 | |
1363303563 | 1363393227 | null | t5_2to41 | 732 | wooker: TIFU by opening my mouth in the restroom.
My shift at work was coming to an end and I headed over to the work restroom to wash up and empty the ol' bladder before leaving. I proceed to wash my hands first(were sticky from eating an apple), but then I sniff something horrid. I loudly exclaim, "What is that fucki... | 8 | 91.5 | |
1363317421 | 1363328702 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | kicksmalone: TIFU by betraying my girlfriend of 2.5 yrs
So, before I met my girlfriend, I was pretty deep into drugs. I'd hang out with my buddies and smoke, drop acid, all that stupid shit. Then she came along, and after finding out that she was really against substance abuse, I promised her I'd quit all of it. It was... | 6 | 11.166667 | |
1363309124 | 1363400817 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | 1233215: TIFU by letting my dog into the trash can
There was a condom in the trash can. It was obviously used. I had to pull it out of my dogs mouth and throw it away in the near by dumpster. I touched his sperm. My brothers sperm. I can't express my disgust right now.
Sureiyaa: >TIFU....my dog....NSFW
"Oh, this s... | 3 | 20.666667 | |
1363320447 | 1363368384 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | depricatedzero: TIFU by holding a shit too long
So when I woke up this morning I felt the need to pinch one out. I said fuck it, didn't have time, and headed off to work. At work I had a long meeting and got distracted for the rest of the day by my job. I got off work and headed up to do laundry. Then I went grocery sh... | 3 | 14 | |
1363358765 | 1363359432 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally sending my recently minted ex a text that simply said "help me!!"
That's pretty much it. I was asking someone for help with something and managed to send it off to the guy I broke up with the other week. It's definitely a no contact situation type of break up so of all the text fuck ups ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1363358587 | 1363394064 | null | t5_2to41 | 948 | smirtch: TIFU and slept through my midterm
Today, I had two exams. One midterm exam at 8am. And a chemistry O-Chem exam at 9:30. This wouldn't be so bad normally but both classes are terribly difficult. (My common-curriculum theology class is at 8am)
Last night I stayed up until 3am trying to cram for both tests. I se... | 7 | 135.428571 | |
1363367711 | 1363542617 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | George_Hayduke: TIFU and didn't stop for a school bus twenty feet away from a cop
Title says it all. I was going back to my dorm from a doctors appointment, thinking about the homework I had to do and had a momentary lapse in attention. Saw the stop sign was out but it didn't register with me because hey, stop signs ar... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1363394443 | 1363552838 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | PlatypusBro: TIFU by baking wax paper into a pizza.
When I was making pizza today, the crusts I used came with wax paper on top for protection. I forgot to remove the wax paper from one of the crusts before making and baking the pizza. Me and my family were halfway through the pizza before anybody noticed. I must ... | 3 | 11 | |
1363397161 | 1363492420 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | Mortaar93: TIFU by not checking if I locked the porta-potty door
So I was driving home from college, its about a 6 hour drive. Along the way I had sudden urge to take a shit. I stop at the next reststop only to find that it was closed. Luckily there was a porta-potty for me to use. Little did I know this porta-potty ha... | 6 | 17.333333 | |
1363386344 | 1363402005 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking a whole box of wine between my best friend and me and calling my ex at 5 am.
Well, I went to bed since, but since it all got shitty around 4 am that counts as today. Now I feel like the apocalypse.
Loupe91: Uh....the point is to post something with details.
Heavenisatree: I believe the det... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1363404065 | 1363452175 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | [deleted]: TIFU by sieg heiling in front of my entire high school
I'm in this male pageant thing at my school where we raise money for prom. Well, the pageant is tomorrow, so we came to school in tuxes and all, and they told us at the pep rally we would walk with our escorts and they would call us all out. Everybody ... | 4 | 13 | |
1363409120 | 1363482040 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | Butyraldehyde: TIFU by confessing that I creeped a girl, right as we said goodbye.
TIFU
Some of you may not see it as something special but when I spelled out her second name (without her ever mentioning it for me) I started to think "WTF AM I DOING!?" but it was too late, I had already walked into the trap I set myse... | 5 | 7.4 | |
1363421137 | 1363448685 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU by not noticing the condom was broken until it was too late.
My fairly short-term girlfriend and I hadn't seen each other in a week, so things got a real physical real quick when we were reunited. I always use a condom, but when I was doing sex at her I thought something felt a little bit weird, but di... | 3 | 13 | |
1363438866 | 1363579937 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,859 | idiotic_employee: TIFU and fapped at work.
This morning I came into work bright and early, like any normal day. The first thing I do when I get in is make a b line for the freshly cleaned and empty bathroom. After a morning cigarette and a cup of coffee, my anal cavity was looking for some sweet relief. Like most of yo... | 9 | 206.555556 | |
1363453656 | 1363709283 | null | t5_2to41 | 88 | MasterChiefsAvenger: TIFU by shitting my pants, twice in one night
So here's a little backstory, I love this chocolate called Bounty which is very sweet and I cannot get enough of, so I manage to eat two bars after a very heavy lunch. Bare in mind I don't feel the need to drop a deuce so just spend my night gaming to m... | 8 | 11 | |
1363457275 | 1363558487 | null | t5_2to41 | 240 | nightwalker2: TIFU by sleepwalking into my sister's bedroom.
This happened last night and I am still too ashamed to leave my room and face her or our family.
I am 16 years old and I sleepwalk a lot. The first time it happened I was about ten years old and my mom woke me up in front of the refridgerator. I had a glass ... | 6 | 40 | |
1363470088 | 1363495212 | null | t5_2to41 | 81 | xxopethxx: TIFU I made the mistake of getting out of the cab.
After I got off at 8:00am from working the late shift, I decided to head to the local watering hole to grab a few brewskies. Realizing the big game was on, I stayed a lot longer than I expected and got myself a little too wasted. By noon, I was completely ... | 5 | 16.2 | |
1363472102 | 1363474203 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | Boelens: List of the most used words in /r/tifu!
Hey there! I decided to analyze a list of most used words on /r/tifu, seeing as it would be interesting. Here goes! :
http://imgur.com/gomLKkD
Analyzed with :
https://github.com/rhiever/reddit-analysis
Flamewire: How big the word "shit" is says a lot
Boelens: I... | 3 | 16 | |
1363469844 | 1363484965 | null | t5_2to41 | 218 | [deleted]: TIFU by fapping to all my neighbors
So i live in a house on a corner so theres a lot of houses in front of mine. My bedroom window is big and faces the front of my house, but my blinds were closed. So im in my room at night and want to fap. My bedroom light is not working so i turn on my desk light and sh... | 3 | 72.666667 | |
1363475476 | 1363482633 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | freakinpenguins: TIFU by mixing cleaning supplies.
I was about the clean the toilet and after putting some of the toilet cleaner in the bowl realized there wasn't enough. So I thought "Oh, well I'll just get some bathroom cleaner and throw it in there and it'll all be fine and dandy."
So I do that, and notice that I... | 3 | 26.333333 | |
1363476897 | 1363492323 | null | t5_2to41 | 67 | asshole_no1: TIFU and told my ex that I'm seeing someone new
Today I fucked up by telling my ex, whom still has feelings for me that I've been seeing someone else for the last month and a half.
We were still on great terms as our relationship ended due to the long distance between us and not the loss of love.
I hid m... | 6 | 11.166667 | |
1363482768 | 1363709266 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | epicrat: TIFU by trying to be cool.
First of all, this wasn't actually today, it was when I was 10.
Anyways, I was being a good kid, helping my mom cut up peppers to make summer salad. (bell pepers, cucumbers, tomatoes, onions, and some godly Greek dressing stuff.) I was hollowing out a green bell peper of all the whi... | 6 | 2 | |
1363481693 | 1363650285 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Kazarath: TIFU by almost exploding my side view mirror off my car via snow blower wind shield.
Looks pretty normal right? http://i.imgur.com/VpuYwNr.jpg
Nope! http://i.imgur.com/JaZN4Wx.jpg
HisNameIsDiego: I blew one up by getting too close to a divider. I don't know why they make them explosive like that.
Kazarath: ... | 4 | 2 | |
1363495550 | 1363646630 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,805 | redribbon75: TIFU by trying to show my mom Reddit.
My mother, after showing her r/aww, decided she was going to make a reddit account. So she makes her account and within 20 minutes of being active she finds r/spacedicks.
How? I have no clue nor do I want to know.
After consoling her and telling her that not all of re... | 10 | 180.5 | |
1363503057 | 1363883592 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | blitzman13: TIFU by telling a girl I love her
Pretty much self-explanatory except for the fact that she is dating one of my friends and not me. We are also extremely close friends.
EDIT 1: (Happened a couple of weeks ago)
EDIT 2: She has been extremely cool about it, and even told me it doesn't matter.
PandemoniumR: N... | 8 | 1.375 | |
1363505226 | 1363537987 | null | t5_2to41 | 125 | CanadianThrowaway88: TIFU by trying to make a silent fart
I made a throwaway thinking I wouldn't need it but today is one of those days.
Okay, so I was coming back to my apartment when I remembered my roommate's boyfriend was going to be there with her. I didn't plan on coming back but my date ended badly. So anyway I... | 5 | 25 | |
1363495292 | 1363544929 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | shittybackpack: TIFU and filled my roommates backpack with shit.
So last night my roommate and I were bored and decided we would play a drinking game. We found a typical template for a drinking game based around the show The League. Needless to say, like most of these games, it's impossible to finish an episode without... | 3 | 32 | |
1363495296 | 1366347932 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | happydaywalker: TIFU by reenacting the hangover, not as fun as you think
So last night I went out with my friends from the volleyball league we all play on. When I got up this morning, my friend was missing, her boyfriend was passed out in his clothes, my cellphone, keys, coat, ipod, and wallet are gone, I'm not weari... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1363534007 | 1363546977 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | NuYawker: TIFU by pissing my pants, in public, in broad daylight, in front of a tow truck driver and commuters.
So I was in desperate need to take a leak. No gas stations, hotels or restaurants in sight. My bladder was screaming for relief. I finally gave in. I was on the verge of pissing my pants when I spot a large f... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1363531976 | 1363598314 | null | t5_2to41 | 431 | Solidbob: TIFU by going for a run.
Once, I was an avid runner. I had slowly worked my way up to 10k with a decent time and was proud. All throughout smoking half a pack of reds daily, drinking far too much cheap bourbon nightly and eating poorly because it all seemed to balance out. Well sometime last summer I injured ... | 6 | 71.833333 | |
1363541976 | 1363621061 | null | t5_2to41 | 630 | slopsicle: TIFU by running into my Sunday family dinner naked.
Today, it's 2:30 AM in the morning me and my friends go to waffle house, and indulge in some glorious waffles and other breakfast feasts. Feeling satisfied from the full course meal I just consumed I decide to sleep naked in all its glory and fall asleep. ... | 14 | 45 | |
1363555999 | 1363563601 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU (2 months ago) by asking Nick Clegg (UK's Deputy Prime Minister) whether he had ever worn an onesie on live radio
Nick Clegg started doing 'Call Clegg' on LBC Radio and there was much excitement among people on twitter. A few of my friends (we're all members of Clegg's party) dared each other to ask sil... | 4 | 11.25 | |
1363560727 | 1363622972 | null | t5_2to41 | 830 | Mandyque: TIFU (well, a few years ago) by getting caught watching porn by my son
I've been single a long time now, and we all have needs, right? So, during a quiet moment, I decide to have a bit of 'me time' with the computer. I go to my favourite porn site, and, as I enjoy watching some gay porn (being a woman, ther... | 12 | 69.166667 | |
1363558194 | 1363562009 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | [deleted]: TIFU and pissed on my friend's couch
I went out drinking last night. Consumed a lot of beer and blacked out. I spent the night at my friends house sleeping on the couch. When I woke up, my pants were on my feet and soaked. There was a puddle of piss that was soaking into my friends carpet and some piss on hi... | 5 | 17 | |
1363562846 | 1363580761 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by puking a hole into my floor
I was told by my friend about this subreddit and that you guys would enjoy my story so here it is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So I make a little bit of money by tutoring my friend's younger brother. The fact that I am a friend of the family has it's perks, one of them be... | 7 | 8.857143 | |
1363564662 | 1372474968 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | totallynotmyalterego: TIFU angering Poseidon.
Not really today, but anyway, the story begins like this:
I was broke and hungry, and conveniently enough, my hometown was attempting to make the worlds largest single bowl of mussels. They got the record and were mighty happy with that (and so was Guinness records). Of co... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1363574455 | 1363616254 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to help my sister with her eating disorder.
My older sister suffered terribly from anorexia years ago, and has since somewhat overcame the disease (but still has clinging food issues). I recently discovered she was chewing and spitting now (as in, she will chew and spit out things such as an e... | 3 | 19.666667 | |
1363564405 | 1363599610 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | doottrain: TIFU and went to Hungary
On Friday, I took a bus from Prague to Budapest, though I was told it might terminate in Bratislava due to bad weather. I went anyways. It terminated in Bratislava, even though there conditions seemed fine, and I was surrounded by Slovak and Russian speakers AKA nobody I understand.
... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1363580340 | 1363619974 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | adrian12356: TIFU by accidently putting icy-hot cream on my dick
Today, for the first time since October I decided to go for a run, and try to get back in shape. It was a pretty good run, however my right thigh really cramped up after I got back. After trying to bear it four a couple hours, I finally decided to do some... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1363607989 | 1363648117 | null | t5_2to41 | 510 | Shitty_Tweezers: TIFU By trying to pluck an ingrown hair while taking a shit. [Semi NSFW]
I was sitting on the toilet enjoying a shit when I feel a slight prick/sting coming from my stomach, thankfully, my mother had left her tweezers sitting on the sink next to the toilet. So I reached over and started trying to pluck... | 8 | 63.75 | |
1363596814 | 1363623372 | null | t5_2to41 | 163 | carfuck: TIFU by fucking in my car
So I met up with a horny lady friend on the interwebs. House is occupied so we decided that it was all fine to fuck in my coupe vehicle. We shared some bubbles and then went at it on the passenger seat. Things started to get so hot that I had to open the door, as the car was full of c... | 5 | 32.6 | |
1363617825 | 1363624915 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | skatemusictrees: Today I fucked up at a concert.
This was actually last night. I was at a Slightly Stoopid concert, and my friend and I had just finished some 40's and some tree. I was groovin' so hard to the music I just needed someone to dance with. I see two blondes move in front of me. They looked good from behind,... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1363612850 | 1363902525 | null | t5_2to41 | 656 | mast3r0r0m1s: TIFU By Puking In Ikea
First, happened yesterday. Secondly, I'm sorry if you had to clean up vomit yesterday by the check-outs somewhere in Canada.
So I just got back from vacation and I went through a couple time-zones, apparently the jet lag and being exhausted will make you sick or something like that... | 8 | 82 | |
1363621770 | 1363885341 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | douglasville: TIFU by wiping my 500g External HD
I'm a photographer. My series with [This](http://i.imgur.com/gSJc4h.jpg) photo and others like it are gone, along with 480-ish downloaded movies (can't really complain about losing those). I know I've lost other photos, mostly the .psd/.tif files.
I'm pretty sure I dr... | 7 | 12.714286 | |
1363625400 | 1363628312 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | andrew470t: TIFW by not checking the conviction box in a job application
(UPDATE) I called before confirming the background check email and told him about the drinking ticket. He sounded dissapointed but called me his friend at the end of the phone call. I'm not sure if this is good or bad. Either way at least I will k... | 5 | 6 | |
1363625935 | 1363639284 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by probably being banned from my girlfriends house
I'll preface this by saying that nobody was in the right here.
So I went over to her house today and she asked me to join her LAN-opened minecraft world. So I did, but she made me search a whole damn forest for her. About halfway through my futile sea... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1363627789 | 1363645539 | null | t5_2to41 | 204 | NoMorePeanuts: TIFU by not knowing "toll free" counts towards cellphone local minutes.
So. 2 weeks ago I started training for a work from home position. To do so, we need to call into a "toll free" number for full day conference calls. I didn't want to hold the phone earpiece thing to my head 8 hours a day so I used... | 7 | 29.142857 | |
1363623942 | 1363657074 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | speculates: TIFU by being the only name on the lease
I live in an apartment with two other people. My landlord will only allow one person to have their name on the lease for the apartment and will only accept rent from one person, which is me. So I have to get my rent money from my roommates and my roommates have no le... | 4 | 7.75 |
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