start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1364207750 | 1364237154 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting my pants in an award ceremony.
(This happened a few years ago but I just stumbled across TIFU)
Quite a while back I went to this swanky ass community centre to collect an award from my school.
Shortly before the ceremony started, I had an urge to shit like never before. I thought I could m... | 4 | 26 | |
1364207829 | 1364244077 | null | t5_2to41 | 725 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating too late in the morning.
So I was in my bed, it was the morning (late morning, around noon) and yeah, I was wacking it. I keep a pair of boxers on my loft bed to wipe up my semen. It's been the same one for a couple of months now; kinda gross, I know, and it smelled really strongly.
An... | 10 | 72.5 | |
1364223495 | 1364227862 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | woofimaction: TIFU by trying to have fun with my lil sis at the bus stop
i was skipping on a small ledge on the sidewalk, when i slipped and scraped the underside of my toes. now i cant even walk right. she just laughed and laughed till the bus came and barely gave me a hug.
nukelauncher95: The title sounds dirty
Were ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1364227895 | 1364230122 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving a box of condoms in my car.
This didn't happen today. It actually happened on Saturday which, coincidentally, was **also** my birthday!
So I went to my girlfriends house Saturday morning to help her take her cats to the vet and to hang out with her for my birthday before my party later that ... | 4 | 4 | |
1364237322 | 1364263032 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | lostintransition_: TIFU by calling a customer sir
Yeah.....he was a she. I didn't notice my mistake until she spoke and said she got it all the time. I'm sure that didn't make her feel any better.
Kashtin: Oh god I've had one of those moments. I know exactly how you feel.
It was a particularly busy evening one day,... | 3 | 5 | |
1364243144 | 1364337245 | null | t5_2to41 | 277 | BeenDead: TIFU by streaming r/SpaceDicks to my class
So... yea. Last night I was browsing AskReddit and that thread about the "deep web" came up. It sparked my curiosity, so I downloaded Tor and started browsing the forbidden land.
Anyways, it was getting pretty late and I was getting bored, so for my last destination... | 5 | 55.4 | |
1364230433 | 1364292747 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | AnachronisticSoul: TIFU by pouring a cups worth of milk into a large container of Nesquik.
My mind was distracted. I meant to pour the milk into my cup but I was an idiot and destroyed at least a quarter of the chocolate milk container. My mom found it with big clumps of nesquik stuck together...
Lamaomgrofl: You co... | 5 | 4 | |
1364241147 | 1364339964 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | ultranumb_360: TIFU by taking off my shirt while high
So I've recently been hitting the gym, and have this narcissistic urge to take off my shirt every time I go to the bathroom and check out my upper body. Well, yesterday night, I was really pissed at life (it's just an INTP personality thing), and decided to smoke a ... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1364244484 | 1364398547 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,256 | no_defaults_cunt: TIFU by nearly killing myself with a french fry.
Yesterday I was at work chowing down on some chili cheese fries. I'm about halfway through when I get this feeling like something is stuck in my throat (like when you swallow a big pill). I try coughing, still there.... I drink water, still there.... I... | 12 | 188 | |
1364243814 | 1364266617 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Locrian_DM: TIFU by turning my car into a dumpster.
I have a newborn son, and I frequently have to take bags of diapers to the trash. To do this, we seal the bag (it's a nice blue thing with a hard plastic sealer on the top) and take it down to the dumpster in my trunk. This morning I had a newly filled bag, plus a g... | 3 | 15.333333 | |
1364260774 | 1364318373 | t3_1b0adg | t5_2to41 | 12 | killaconor: three pumps and I swear the porcelain was going to crack with all the force that baby shot with.
Edallag: ... Where in the ***holy HELL*** do you buy a hydraulic plunger?
[deleted]: Amazon breh.
Edallag: [This](http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hydraulic%20plu... | 4 | 3 | |
1364262732 | 1364445369 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU by possibly tearing the cords of my eyeball.
It's been going on for 2 days now.
First off, let me describe what's happening.
So as of Sunday morning, I was having a TERRIBLE pain in my eye.
It occurs when I look to the top left or bottom right, and the pain is unbearable.
It's only in my left ... | 11 | 2.272727 | |
1364307287 | 1364400318 | t3_1b0izz | t5_2to41 | 14 | distrucktocon: and there you have it. let him go... that little judgmental prick.
prussianiron: I see someone hasn't heard of friends with benefits?
That said, he is an asshole. After a year and a half, he is just now asking this, and judging you that harshly for it? Dafuq?
[deleted]: Friends with benefits would not n... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1364270813 | 1364277089 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by opening a drawer full of semen
So, I am in college and have the traditional setup with a single roommate.
Our college has a "confessional" page for students to anonymously confess their experiences/sins.
Going into my freshman year, I knew there would be some difficulties and that I would (hopefull... | 6 | 5.5 | |
1364287105 | 1364320034 | null | t5_2to41 | 241 | PhoenixMask: TIFU by having an ikea catalog in reach while drunk
I am in college and I decided to visit my Dad because I hadn't seen him in a while. We decided to get pizza and beer. Of course I got shitfaced because I don't drink all that much normally. So I decided to sit down at the table and chill for a while and t... | 5 | 48.2 | |
1364289398 | 1364347713 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,901 | scatking69: TIFU ***UPDATE*** by eating 3 boxes of fiber one bars
Every day since the incident I have had urges to shit but when I sat down only one loud airy fart would come out. No poop. This got scarier as time passed. But yesterday, I had that feeling where I needed to shit BAD and I rushed to the bathroom. I c... | 8 | 237.625 | |
1364291103 | 1364614416 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | spartan117au: TIFU by almost breaking education Queensland.
So, last night i put some computer analytic tools on my USB so I could check up on my computer in fears of having a bad memory leak. So skip to next day, I put my USB into a school computer and realized that I had saved those tools onto my USB. Oh ok then, no ... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1364295517 | 1364325493 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to put in my little sister's earrings.
The back part of one hole was healed over, so I pressed down a little and she flinched back which caused there to be a bit of a large hole which bled quite a bit and she wouldn't stop screaming her head off and crying.
doublin23: Lol, sharp objects and yo... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1364310585 | 1364319681 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by pouring sugar on chips
So I was in London with a friend, sitting in a place called 'The Diner'; a classic American-styled diner (...obviously). To tell you the truth, I've never been to a diner before, so the whole experience was new to me.
Anyway, we ordered some food; a burger and fries, and we st... | 3 | 12 | |
1364259623 | 1364328795 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU for letting the repairman see my brother naked
This happend a few summers ago when I was on a vacation, actually.
I know it sounds weird, but it happened. I was on a family vacation with a few friends of my parents' joining us. Me and my brother shared a room, my mom and dad another. So, we get back f... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1364325045 | 1364423009 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | 123nobody123: TIFU I **cked a street prostitute.
Ok, this is really TIFU. It was saturday night, too many, but really too many Jim Beam was drinked, it was late in the night, we were close to a Red light district in Frankfurt, we picked up street hookers and had sex with them for 45 euros. For things to be worst, they ... | 7 | 8 | |
1364324630 | 1364390806 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | TimothyVH: TIFU by accidently asking my idol to sign my dick
So, this story is actually a few year olds already, but I just recently discovered this subreddit and thought it belonged here.
I went to a concert of one of my favourite bands, (Diablo BLVd if you're wondering) and I really had a great time: moshpits, circl... | 4 | 10 | |
1364334414 | 1364488753 | t3_1b1obh | t5_2to41 | 0 | StolenFire: good point toad32 - that is some brutal shit for a woman to sit through. She must really like you fibrglas. She's a keeper.
Atanalltimelow232: Hate to tell you this but it really isn't that brutal for a chick to go through. Just because we don't have a dick, doesn't mean we are made of glass that cant hand... | 9 | 0 | |
1364331799 | 1364511164 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | pachysperm: TIFU by making myself look like a stalker to my crush
Obligatory wall of text notice.
So at the beginning of the school year, I met this cute girl and my assigned seat was placed next to hers. We had those desks that fit two chairs, so we sat next to each other everyday. We got to know each other pretty we... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1364333783 | 1364403290 | null | t5_2to41 | 97 | BackyardMechanic: TIFU by drinking the wrong milk, and farting.
I'm a college student, and I commute to school. I woke up late today, and had to catch the train, so I took a liquid breakfast. I just drank some soy milk and darted out of my house. Thing is, it wasn't soy milk. It was regular milk, and here's the kicker... | 4 | 24.25 | |
1364321357 | 1364340893 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | hpangel: TIFU by doing laundry
My son threw up in the middle of the night last night. I was exhausted and not thinking and I rolled up all the blankets and tossed them in the washer. I woke up this morning to wash them one more time but all I can see all over the "clean" blankets is chunks. Partially chewed, thrown up ... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1364335639 | 1364443687 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | FireInsideHer: TIFU by using roommate matching.
Okay so this wasn't really a "today" fuck up, rather a year long process. Keep in mind that I'm a junior in college
After getting left out of a lease by a few friends of mine and being unable to afford a one bedroom I decided to check out an apartment complex that did r... | 5 | 5 | |
1364341429 | 1364357671 | null | t5_2to41 | 986 | AlexMill: TIFU by being to trusting
I have been dating my girlfriend, ex as of today, for over the past year. I do not have a Facebook and she does, I went onto my computer and her email was logged in with a bunch of posts between her and another guy, those little notifications you get as emails from Facebook about you... | 12 | 82.166667 | |
1364346232 | 1364536088 | null | t5_2to41 | 192 | tifuinthebath: TIFU by fapping in the bath and almost passing out
Sup TIFU. First post.
So I had a rum and coke in me and decided to have a bath to explore myself and whatnot. So I run the bath and it's hot as hell but whatever, I tough it out and eventually I manage. Begin fapping.
I won't go into fapping details be... | 12 | 16 | |
1364334416 | 1364416011 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Virginiamudbrick: Tifu by smelling sriracha.
My grandmother was over visiting for dinner one night. I deciced to ask her if she had ever tried it. I figured i would smell it then hand it to her to smell. Epic fail! The dried sriracha plug failed after i had applied about enough pressure to the bottle so as to send a m... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1364349841 | 1371688598 | null | t5_2to41 | 620 | Alexanderr: TIFU by accidentally spraying myself in the balls with pepper spray
I bought my female friend [pepper spray](http://www.amazon.com/Sabre-Compact-Pepper-Spray-Release/dp/B000UVTDLG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1364349317&sr=8-2&keywords=sabre+red) and thought it would be a good idea to order an extra f... | 5 | 124 | |
1364354955 | 1364455879 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | brycecot: TIFU by getting Egypt! (X-post from r/brycegotegypt)
TIFU by getting Egypt. My friends will never let this down and it has turned into le meme.
BBoxall: What is this... I don't even...
knifeinabox: http://i.imgur.com/E9h7y1m.jpg
petersmythe37: I still don't understand...what does it mean when one has 'gotten ... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1364357300 | 1364424599 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | DRAWKWARD79: TIFU by calling my girlfriend "chief" after an incredible blowjob.
I laughed...bit She did not find it at all funny....I was mindless after such pleasure...not my fault!
exilelexxii: better chief then "Sir"
thecrikster: Or Maam
DRAWKWARD79: Good thing I didn't call her a slut...right guys! Imagine!!??
th... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1364351088 | 1364734198 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | hissxywife: TIFU by bleeding during oral
My period has been regular, but for some reason, I've been spotting the past few days. Well, it wasn't happening today so my husband was going down on me. After I finished, he looked down and said "umm, we need to change the sheets"
I didn't full on give him red wings or anythi... | 7 | 4.285714 | |
1364349643 | 1365373294 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | MadSocietyKing: TIFU by wishing someone "the happiest birthday possible"
Today I woke up super tired, like usual. I checked my phone for my semi-social life, and I had some notifications. One of them was wish this girl a happy birthday. Now it's these two girls that I talk to that are twins. I talk to one more than the... | 6 | 10 | |
1364354450 | 1364650188 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | ToiletBlocker: Today I Totally Fucked Up & Blocked 2 Toilets in 30 Mins
Okay, so this wasn't today but actually a month and a half ago.
I was on holiday in Florida and one morning woke up with a bad stomach upset. Did my business, flushed the toilet only for it to overflow on me- yuck! I have never had a toilet do... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1364360620 | 1364393042 | null | t5_2to41 | 81 | tinyspoonnn: TIFU by making a guy repeat that his fiance' left him four times.
I saw an old friend at walmart and we were bullshitting and catching up. He mumbled that his fiance' left him, but I couldn't quite hear him so I said "what" and he repeated himself while I kept repeating "what" because he kept mumbling. Af... | 3 | 27 | |
1364404679 | 1364435223 | t3_1b38h6 | t5_2to41 | 9 | TaylorS1986: 1. There was an article a few months back debunking the stretching thing.
2. Muscle aches are caused by microscopic tearing of the muscle fibers, Lactic acid is what just makes you muscles feel tired while you are exercising.
MysteryWrecked: Hold on.
1. "an article" is going to be your basis for dismissi... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1364345873 | 1364423571 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | TarHokie: TIFU by going to work.
There were three sick people at work today. Now I'm feeling sick. Why can't sick people just stay at home?
PandemoniumR: Because people need money to survive. Hurrr.
TarHokie: There are these things called "sick days." You can stay at home sick and still get paid. Amazing concept.
Pa... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1364400551 | 1364451689 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,356 | cum_guzzla: TIFU by using hand sanitiser as a lubricant.
The other day I was feeling particularly frisky. I thought I'd treat myself to a nice wank with the aid of some moisturiser. Searching through my medicine cabinet the only moisturiser I could find was some really expensive stuff, and I just couldn't justify the ... | 12 | 113 | |
1364405528 | 1364707604 | null | t5_2to41 | 94 | Fr4t: TIFU by making fun of a terrible stench of the toilet at my workplace
So our staff (we are six people) was about to eat for lunch and I wanted to use our toilet before that. As I entered the bathroom I smell the horrible stench (like bad eggs) and quickly left it.
Without thinking I shout how terrible the smell... | 4 | 23.5 | |
1364408081 | 1364410504 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | Two-Tone-: TIFU by drinking two week old blue PowerAid
Excuse me for this being short, but I an typing this on my nook cyanogenmod tablet while I continue to shit out my insides as I have been doing for the last near hour.
Edit: to clarify the PowerAid had been *opened* for two weeks. The fact that it tasted funny sh... | 5 | 15.6 | |
1364410859 | 1364478769 | null | t5_2to41 | 141 | KittiesInABasket: TIFU by letting my cat eat pepperoni
apartment is now full of barfs and farts
typesoshee: What is it about cats that they can't eat pepperoni?
PKWinter: Years of cat food can ruin the digestive system for other things.
typesoshee: Poor cats.
| 4 | 35.25 | |
1364416294 | 1365105733 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | kakakrabbypatty: TIFU (last week actually) by dropping a Samurai Sword on my hand
Being the 15 year old teen that I am, I ordered a 45 inch long katana a couple months ago and sharpened it until it was at shaving capacity. I was fine with it for about 2 months until last week. I was picking it p to sharpen it some more... | 9 | 8.333333 | |
1364417630 | 1364506754 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to drink water like a normal person with my cat in the room
So here I am, nonchalantly drinking a glass of water while browsing reddit, when my evil mastermind of a cat appears and starts purring like hell and rubbing her head against me. So I'm all 'Awww!' and start petting her while still tr... | 8 | 2.875 | |
1364430351 | 1364506016 | null | t5_2to41 | 309 | K_X: TIFU by traumatizing my urethra.
This happened a couple days ago, but whatever.
Saturday night, eating dinner with the gf, feeling randy, and know I'm gonna get some tonight, I can just tell.
Finish dinner, it's her friends birthday so she wants to go to a bar but I'm exhausted from drinking all night with my fr... | 6 | 51.5 | |
1364427491 | 1364534971 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | ThePickleAvenger: TIFU by ditching my sister
So anyone with a hispanic or otherwise latino family will (probably) know that a girl's 15th birthday is a pretty big fucking deal. She's been planning this party for months now, and was extremely excited for it.
So, the big day finally arrived, and the realization didn't t... | 7 | 8.571429 | |
1364433855 | 1364994922 | null | t5_2to41 | 88 | wh1skeyk1ng: TIFU by quickly trying to trim my pubes.
So I come home from work today and my girlfriend is cooking supper. I asked how long it would be. She responded with about 10 minutes. I told her I was going to take a quick shower. Upon getting ready to shower, I decided my pubes could use a little maintenance.... | 4 | 22 | |
1364413831 | 1364473265 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | shutupandtakemybunny: TIFU by using a glue stick for chap stick.
I work as a receptionist and I am required to mail things on a daily basis. I keep a glue stick in my drawer in the same compartment that I keep my chap stick (you all know where this is headed)... So I am on the phone with a supplier and realize my lips ... | 3 | 10 | |
1364427428 | 1364535915 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | ptonca: TIFU by letting my parents look at reddit on my computer
My dad asked what this reddit thing was about, so he asked if he could look at it on my computer (his recently broke), my mom decided to join in too. Let's just say my mom didn't approve of the new meme trend.
UpnotDown: Mistake #1: Expect your parents t... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1364429508 | 1364496493 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate
My original post: http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1a6xu1/tifu_and_lost_my_only_friend/
I decided to wait a little bit before updating this. It's tuesday night, and this happened about 2 weeks ago. Last week was spring break(THANK GOD), and we still haven't said a word to each other. I have ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1364437617 | 1364496949 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | saint_mark: TIFU By listening to music with my girlfriend.
I went to my girlfriends house the other day, nothing unusual but a bit later than usual, so me and her go to her room and she says she wants to listen to some music i say cool and reach in my pocket for my iPhone and headphones only the iPhone forgot my headph... | 6 | 11.5 | |
1364490481 | 1364498188 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my friend eat lemon wedges
So last night me and my buddy decided to go do some bar crawling.. We'd been drinking beer for quite a while at home already, so we decided to continue with the beer and have a couple of pints when we went out.
I wasn't particularly in the mood to drink much, so I n... | 6 | 10.333333 | |
1364489657 | 1364518701 | null | t5_2to41 | 697 | Virginiamudbrick: Tifu by making sexy times too loud
So last night i stayed with my girlfriend, she lives with her mom. (Were both 25 but she commutes to school) She and her mom were preparing for a trip to new york to do some sight seeing so i helped her pack, around 1 am sexy times began to commence. Usually bumping ... | 10 | 69.7 | |
1364433275 | 1364503308 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | mustangwolf1997: TIFUpdate: TIFU by possible tearing the cords of my eyeball.
3/27/2013:
I went to the EM, as suggested. The results were inconclusive.
They'll be calling within the next day and a half so they can have a specialist come to the hospital. They'll call me at the house phone so I can go back to the hospi... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1364494389 | 1364502955 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | TimothyVH: TIFU by destroying my neighbours 400 dollar dragonstatue
First off: this just happened to my brother, not me.
The doorbell rang and my brother opened. The delivery service told him that they were here to deliver a package to our neighbours, but they weren't home apparantly. The delivery guy asked if my brot... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1364501777 | 1364562487 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by blacking out white standing and breaking my teeth [Pics]
**EDIT** Title should read "while standing..."
I was with my GF at the hospital because she was having sever stomach pains. After 8 hours there with nothing to eat or drink and it being 3am the nurse comes in and draws some of her blood. Well ... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1364504105 | 1364588394 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | Metalhed69: TIFU by googling an ex's new husband
Soo...it all started with a little Facebook stalking. Bored at work, typing in old gf's names and seeing how fat they are now (note: REAL FAT). Anyway, I get back to this girl I had a thing with in college. Her FB is locked down, the only pic is an old one from about ... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1364509830 | 1364594381 | null | t5_2to41 | 149 | pbpc: TIFU by taking laxatives before going to a sleepover.
Sorry for massive wall of text.
Yesterday, I was feeling really bloated and backed up, and being the hypochondriac that I am, I went and popped laxatives without even thinking twice about my actions. About an hour later, I'm on my way to a friend's house t... | 10 | 14.9 | |
1364506755 | 1364722686 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | Ollie117: TIFU by pouring engine oil into my power steering reservoir.
A combo of being late to work, a little stoned, and only mildly intelligent... no real damage done though, thank science.
jrlp: Uhm. It's probably going to die soon. Either the pump or steering box or both.
Powersteering pumps are just hydraulic ... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1364516530 | 1364708080 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Tifuthrow: TIFU by going to Starbucks.
I seldom go to Starbucks but today i decided i should go, well inner me decides, "hey! Lets get a frappucino!" I'm lactose intolerant and coffee usually upsets my stomach, but hey I really wanted to go to try the new Hazelnut Frappe and this totally escaped my mind. Just because... | 3 | 7 | |
1364523496 | 1364705775 | null | t5_2to41 | 284 | wellthissucksn: TIFU by telling the truth and now my whole world is falling apart.
My sisters boyfriend sexually assaulted me in my sleep. I knew no one would react well, but I told them anyway. Now my little sister hates me because she thinks I tried to seduce her boyfriend because he told her I did and he rejected me... | 5 | 56.8 | |
1364523124 | 1365108383 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | JNC96: TIFU By forgetting girl's number in locker over spring break.
This I've liked for a while tells me she likes me, and she wants to text me over break. She puts the number in my sketchbook on Wednesday. Today is Thursday, last day. Usually, I have my sketchbook, but I didn't have anything I wanted to draw, so I le... | 8 | 3.25 | |
1364524886 | 1364540593 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | pissdribbles: TIFU by drinking piss dribbles
Hey bitches. Today I had a fucks ups cause I took a wee wee and got some piss dribbles on me hands and when I went to WASH MY HANDS I forgot bout those urine droplets and I cusped my hands together to get a drink, allowing for my leak and my wawa to mix and run down my throa... | 3 | 1 | |
1364524790 | 1364540561 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting blackout drunk and losing my wallet
I am in a colossal pit of self-loathing right now. Woke up hungover, worked from home today, and just realized that I don't have my wallet. It. Is. Gone.
No idea where it could be. I've been calling bars and nightclubs with no luck. I've put holds on cards... | 5 | 1 | |
1364519931 | 1364704082 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | b0nker: TIFU by phantom texting
This happened within the last day..
So pretty much GF texts me and at this point I guess I'm sleepy as hell. I had picked the phone up to reply, next thing I know is that I'm sure I sent a reply.
Checking my phone later after waking up, head to the sent messages and ooh shoot.
The tex... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1364531403 | 1364746724 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | monsterous22: TIFU by showing my mom tumblr
I showed my mom my tumblr blog today. Everything was going great; she liked my pictures, but we never made it past my first page. After seeing my blog she wanted to make her own.
After hearing her say that, I realized. OH MY GOODNESS, my mom will be able to see my blog and a... | 9 | 4.222222 | |
1364532259 | 1364771774 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | lawnicus18: *UPDATE* TIFU by kissing a girl and embarrasing the the shit out of myself.
Some of you may remember this post from 4 months ago, (tripping in gym class and kising a girl by accident). Well, she (Emily) and I (Mark) are still going strong, we've been on about 15 dates, kissed numerous times, and, (can't bel... | 7 | 3.857143 | |
1364529876 | 1364614370 | null | t5_2to41 | 508 | fora-mejora: TIFU by testing a speaker.
I had my electronics class today and my professor gave us an assignment where we have to make something from nothing. Nothing being the broken computers and other electronics that we could find in our workroom.
My group decided to build a boat, because honestly, hot gluing a b... | 8 | 63.5 | |
1364537841 | 1364596661 | null | t5_2to41 | 289 | [deleted]: TIFU by making 50,000 folders in my C: drive
Today, I tried writing a PHP link shortner (I'm really bad at PHP), and because I forgot to tell a loop to stop, and because I messed up using the `chdir` function, I had to deal with 50,000 empty folders in my `C:\` drive.
[Here's a picture of quite a few of the... | 11 | 26.272727 | |
1364572732 | 1364693294 | null | t5_2to41 | 614 | illdrawyourface: TIFU by being an insensitive idiot in an email I can't get back.
A family has contacted me to paint a portrait of their grandmother who is dying. Emails have been sent back and forth about how they want it done, what I'm going to charge, and I just sent one now with the last line being "Do I have a de... | 6 | 102.333333 | |
1364576331 | 1364638412 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by studying too much
Last night, I studied my ass off for this exam I had at 11:30am. I wasn't worried because even if I stayed up until 3am I would still get a decent amount of sleep.
So, that's what I did. Once I was satisfied that I knew the material I climbed into bed and set my alarm. Hours l... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1364588426 | 1364629881 | null | t5_2to41 | 143 | depolarizability: TIFU by accidentally washing my shorts with a fish oil pill in the pocket.
Now all of my clothes smell like fish. Anyone have any ideas on how to remove the smell?
Sporkalork: Prewash with white vinegar, it's great for smells.
FluffyDarby: White vinegar works well with cat piss, so I would imagine fi... | 6 | 23.833333 | |
1364582447 | 1365099408 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | secaedelcielo: TIFU by asking for the truth from someone I would have been in a loving relationship with
**WARNING!: WALL OF TEXT WHICH COULD EASILY BE VIEWED AS REALLY FUCKING BORING**
The background of the relationship is that we had met online and hadn't met yet. He lives 200 miles away from where I live, but my li... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1364592099 | 1364600381 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU I mistook a series of incredibly sweet postings regarding me on Reddit and to be from the roommate of the actual sender.
I am the worst person and most stupid person ever.
There were also a set of wonderfully cute drawings.
Please forgive me.
dancing_raptor_jesus: I have no idea what you're talking a... | 4 | 4 | |
1364597511 | 1365004320 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | Flex_Buff_Chest: TIFU by not closing the door.
This happened 2 minutes ago. Me and my girlfriend were laying in my bed at my parents house relaxing (long distance relationship so things heat up fast) and naturally we start fooling around. I'm feeling good she's doing great, and were both really into it, and this is w... | 4 | 21 | |
1364596822 | 1364783749 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | MacProClub: TIFU when making breakfast
Okay so this morning I woke up extremely tired, looking for a way to wake my self up (I don't go back to sleep easily, so i decided to wake up instead). I chose food (what else!?)
So I went to the kitchen, poured some cereal into a bowl and got a cup, got out the milk and juice (... | 7 | 1.571429 | |
1364583618 | 1364761914 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | kzle420: TIFU by smoking weed
So here i am chillin in bed, my bong besides me with a packed bowl.. I decide to roast the little bugger and upon taking this huge rip while my lungs expand i tilt back a little too far and, I end up swallowing a gulp of week old bong water (daily smoker too). Shocked is an understatement.... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1364614102 | 1364618724 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | HAsash: TIFU by hitting my cat
I woke because I heard my cat scraping the floor. Went to see if he pooped anywhere he shouldn't have. Found him on a couch, looking scared. I approached and he started peeing himself. He emitted his whole bladder on the couch. I took him and our his nose in the pee, then pushed him on th... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1364658524 | 1364925403 | t3_1baefw | t5_2to41 | 41 | Thinks_Like_A_Man: It is a safety issue. What woman is going to want to go alone into a unisex bathroom at a bar? Sounds like a great place for a rape.
jianadaren1: That's stupid. Female only toilets are more likely to have rapes.
Thinks_Like_A_Man: You think a female only bathroom in a bar is going to have more rapes... | 23 | 1.782609 | |
1364663578 | 1364699222 | null | t5_2to41 | 980 | tresvian: TIFU when I was shaving my face.
Regular day, regular hour in the morning that I wake up to go shower. I shave if it starts becoming too itchy, a nuisance, or it just looks dumb. I had the great idea to shave in the shower instead of at the sink.
So, there I am in the shower naked as fuck. Everything was g... | 6 | 163.333333 | |
1364639989 | 1364829283 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by closing the elevator doors.
I live in a building with an elevator that operates pretty fast. I entered the elevator and because no one else was around, I hit the "close" button. Nope I was wrong. As the doors were sliding, someone was shuffling up as fast as she could through the lobby and to the ele... | 3 | 1 | |
1364680041 | 1365298380 | null | t5_2to41 | 342 | Htownbitches: TIFU by leaving Skype open as I was getting ready
So, I was getting ready and I had my laptop open on my desk when I was getting ready so I could listen to music. I was curling my hair, just got out of my regular hot as fuck shower, so I was naked because I live in Texas and it's hot.
Me and my best fri... | 12 | 28.5 | |
1364681483 | 1364802819 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | LazyFiiish: TIFU by going commando at work
so I was in a rush this morning and decided to chuck on some slacks without wearing boxers.
I work at a family oriented theme park running the side games, one of which is a game where you climb up a ladder.
So I'm demonstrating how to do the ladder when suddenly I'm thinking ... | 4 | 15.5 | |
1364682075 | 1364725323 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by Eating
I am somewhere around an [8] on the edge of a [9] when the munchies begin to take hold.
After hitting more trees than a blind Tarzan I decide to empty my bins in hope of finding food, and finally come across a half eaten packet of chips and in my dazed inebriation I decide to go to town on t... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1364687794 | 1364690891 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU By Sharting While My BF Was Fingering Me.
I may never do anything sexual ever again.
idontremembernames: I don't know your relationship, but if my girlfriend ever did that I wouldn't feel awkward at all. If anything, it shows how much you were enjoying it =D
Ryanisreallame: Or, it's the perfect excuse t... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1364688460 | 1364726051 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking again
Another relapse. Trying to keep sober as I tend to drink as a coping method, however I came home to a free house after a bad morning and had 200 ml ish of dark rum (40%). This got me pretty tipsy as I was on an empty stomach, but I rode it out and no-one noticed. But now I feel stupid.... | 3 | 12 | |
1364689226 | 1364826738 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | thehotdelancey: TIFU and parked in the one parking space under a power pole.
This one is short and sweet. My car got shit on by a bird who apparently loves his Taco Bell. I parked under the one power pole in the lot.
http://i.imgur.com/z61L86I.jpg?1
Granted, I'm thankfully things didn't escalate, because as I'm cle... | 11 | 3.454545 | |
1364696529 | 1364771595 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | xereeto: TIFU by playing dubstep through a 12 year old speaker
So I bought this old all-in-one PC (iMac G3) for like $10 and I was planning on using it as a music player.
Played some ordinary music through it at full volume, worked fine. Then I played dubstep through it, at the same volume. It immediately sounded dis... | 9 | 7.888889 | |
1364699750 | 1364776598 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | [deleted]: TIFU while playing suicide wank... And lost.
Long story short. My mom will never look at me the same.
For those who are wondering. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=suicide%20wank
Frostiken: WHY IS THAT A THING?
dabockster: Not fetch at all.
letsburnbridges: Stop trying to make fetch happen! I... | 4 | 19.75 | |
1364732539 | 1364788735 | null | t5_2to41 | 195 | Tilted_Axis: TIFU (last summer) by walking upstream.
So I go with some friends to the river like we sometimes do, it's a big area with no strong current. I decide to walk upstream like I've done before. I take my little bro and a friend.
They decide to be pansies and walk on the river edge, but I'm all about adventu... | 8 | 24.375 | |
1364769574 | 1364922179 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,293 | tifuthrowawayy: tifu by mopping the floor at work.
So I made a throwaway for this story because it's humiliating as fuck.
So I'm nearing the end of my shift, I work at a restaurant chain such as Friendly's, and i'm sweeping and mopping the floor. Throughout the day I've been cutting little farts here and there because... | 11 | 117.545455 | |
1364777332 | 1364796498 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by being too embarrassed about using my own toilet.
Ok, so I know I'm a freak with my toilet habits, but I'm fine with it and usually it doesn't affect my day to day life. But tonight, I made a massive error. I live in student halls, and basically the layout is as so; you come through the front door, en... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1364778268 | 1364782520 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | crushfucker: TIFU by telling a guy I have a crush on him.
I've been friends with this guy for a few months, and he knows I find him cute. I posted a status on Facebook asking if you can be friends with someone even if you have a crush on him/her. (my fuck up here was this: I didn't have much of a crush on him personal... | 4 | 28 | |
1364783055 | 1364790966 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | TheHerpfulDerp: TIFU by not setting my Minecraft session on invite only.
So today I was playing Minecraft on my Xbox 360 like I do most days. I decided to build a beautiful fortress; I had everything planned perfectly, the image was in my head and everything. So I started building it earlier this morning and finished ... | 4 | 0 | |
1364790261 | 1364934723 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | daBroviest: TIFU by cockblocking myself
Alright, this actually happened last year, but I saw TIFU for the first time a couple days ago and decided to post. So, yeah.
So I was at a club in my hometown with a couple of my friends. I was 19 at the time (now I'm 20) and we were kind of dancing in a group. Little did I kno... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1364787108 | 1364827812 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | HeysumAli: TIFU by jogging in bad weather.
Jogging in the rain? 10/10 would do again. So badass.
And then it started to hail. I thought this was really funny/amusing at first. >Ah wtf?! xD It's starting to hail! Hahahahahahaha!<
It was very.. euphoric. As if I was in a movie reflecting about my life and the de... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1364802560 | 1364882421 | null | t5_2to41 | 139 | bansheethrowaway: TIFU by accidentally shooting someone's house
I was visiting my parents over the weekend. They live out on some property in the middle of nowhere and I usually bring one of my guns for some target practice.
I was shooting my Mosin Nagant M44 with my sister's boyfriend who'd never shot a rifle before ... | 6 | 23.166667 | |
1364811496 | 1365127210 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU by electrocuting myself with a camera, and not learning from my mistakes. I'm retarded.
I got nothin' going on this morning, and my appointment for my eye specialist isn't 'till the fourth, so I have no major updates for that TIFU, other than the lack of pain one I already posted in the update thr... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1364816338 | 1364917221 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | JimboMorgue: Awkward April Fools
Well, not knowing there were rules for april fools I said to friends and family on facebook that I was moving states in November. Now three of my friends wont talk to me because I was having a laugh.
Shadekitty: There are RULES against that kind of thing? ._.
that sounds like a pretty ... | 19 | 2.210526 |
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