start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1364823041 | 1364905708 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | EducatedEvil: SYA-IFU, a tale of Pepperoni, Dogs and a White Rug.
Several Years Ago – I Fucked Up
Our friends John and Ang had three lovely dogs. Molly, Daisy and Jenny. My wife and I were at their house the night before they left on a weekender to Vegas enjoying beer, a cheese platter with pepperoni and salami, and... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1364831686 | 1364939566 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | stupidfreshman: TIFU by clogging the toilet at my crush's house
I had to make a throwaway for this one, its just too humiliating. This was actually last year and I was thinking whether I should share it with you guys. So this was freshmen year. Towards the end of march, this girl that I was into invited me over for a h... | 6 | 15.166667 | |
1364838821 | 1364886853 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | Kriegsmarin: TIFU by mistaking communion bread for crackers
I wanted to surprise the only religious person in the family over the holidays, so I made breakfast. Butter and salmon roe on crackers. Or so I thought ...
13Coffees: why were communion wafers just lying around in your house?
Kriegsmarin: Not my house, not my... | 5 | 9.8 | |
1364845443 | 1364853536 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU By taking a shit in the bathroom.
All weekend my stomachs been on the queasy side. It's been pretty upset and I've been making frequent trips to the bathroom, usually just in time so I don't soil myself. Today more of the same so I have a bran muffin and some fruit for breakfast, you know, for fibre and... | 3 | 1 | |
1364848339 | 1365086413 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,466 | cirque-ull-jerk: Tifu by pooping in front of a police officer
So, I got into a first offense diversion program so I could avoid probation. One of the requirements was the completion of three drug tests, the last of which was to be taken in a room with mirrors for walls and in the presence of police officer. Well, here'... | 17 | 86.235294 | |
1364853145 | 1365051953 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | MasterGilligan: TIFU by attempting to get a girlfriend
Ok so, I went to New Orleans to see my uncles and other various people. In this brief meeting of my aunts and cousins I saw this girl, and it just so happend that we had no blood relation(or so I thought). So after a long while of talking and a few days of being to... | 5 | 12.8 | |
1364861716 | 1365053015 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by puking everywhere after blacking out.
I've had many fuck ups but this is one of the worst. This didn't happen recently it actually happened a little while ago. Anyways , one night i was bored and had just finished writing a big paper due the next week. I walked down stairs and decided to celebrate wi... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1364867234 | 1364946944 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting on Reddit
IT'S GONE! Are we free? I don't know what chaos that was, but I am glad April Fool's is over on Reddit. Shit. There were so many fights! Orangered was shit, Team periwinkle. But what were we fighting for? I don't even know.
swansonian: I've been using Reddit on my iPod all day, so I... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1364865947 | 1365448823 | null | t5_2to41 | 192 | rediculose: TIFU by falling for my own April Fool's joke
For the longest time, I have been thinking up amazing April Fool's jokes to play on my little brother, who gets me with amazing pranks every year. I finally thought of the best prank after watching a video one of my friends made last April Fools day. I would rubb... | 8 | 24 | |
1364876044 | 1364911057 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | NikaNuss: T(this week)IFU by opening a window
Last weekend my husband and I demolished our master bathroom. Took out everything, including walls. We put up plastic to keep the plaster dust from getting into our bedroom, and called it a day until our contractor could come in and start repairing.
Then, over the course o... | 4 | 8.5 | |
1364914663 | 1364915472 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | kimantor1: [meta] On the subject of karma.
I think its sad that people here don't get karma for their stories and while this does filter out the karma whoring frauds the people submitting the content aren't get rewarded. I think submissions should be submitted as links to pictures of text containing the story so that t... | 3 | 1 | |
1364912098 | 1364926024 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by having coffee and a jalapeño bagel for breakfast
Short explanation: Coffee = laxative, jalapeno = spicy, not a recommended combination. Rest of the day should be interesting :$
falling_slowly: Oh but man I bet that bagel was delicious. I seriously miss jalapeño cheddar bagels. Except when I didn't ge... | 4 | 2 | |
1364917142 | 1364961183 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,028 | JayDee240: TIFU by eating leftovers
My talented girlfriend made a delicious meal of fresh carved turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, corn, and all that other good stuff. Everything looked excellent, but I had just come back from a meal with my family and was unable to eat anything. She put the leftovers in the fridge so... | 12 | 85.666667 | |
1364921816 | 1364944518 | null | t5_2to41 | 137 | MisssBadgerEnt: TIFU by wearing a thong.
At work, 7 am, nbd. I had coffee so i was a little gassy. Nbd. Or so i thought.
Get to my first class at 930, and my friend tells me I'd gotten my period, she could see it on my pants. Panicking, i go to the bathroom and find that i had sharted my pants, and because my leggings... | 6 | 22.833333 | |
1364927731 | 1364929047 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by try to secure my cell phone.
So today I was thinking about how iPhones have passwords. My phone doesn't. I looked in my security settings and found a setting to change passwords. I needed the password to change the password so I tried the pin number settings. I got stuck in there so I turned off my p... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1364931446 | 1364948045 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | saiyaman9000: TIFU Tech-ed project
Yesterday, I was in my Tech-ed class. We were working on our small racing cars. I found an open locker with a car inside. My mischievous mind forced me to grab the car and I could not resist. I secretly filed it and jabbed holes in it. Then i stuck many pins in it. (the kind of pins ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1364938117 | 1365116967 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | misterbuckets: TIFU, but in actuality I fucked up one day two years in a row.
This may be a little long. Deal.
This was about four years ago. My friend and I were regulars at a local bar. On Sundays we would go in sometime in the afternoon and play Scrabble. Anyway, there was a girl that I had been trying to get with... | 10 | 3.5 | |
1364940031 | 1365205623 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | digitalyss: TIFU by calling someone a paranoid twat.
My friend is in the Air Force and mentioned that he wants to sign up for the CIA. I was like "That's so awesome!" only to have one of the guys that was with my friend go "Yeah, if you're on the wrong side of the Civil War."
I promptly replied "Or if you're just not ... | 11 | 0.545455 | |
1364947629 | 1365543709 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | digbicks0: TIFU by getting horny around dildos
So on this fine day, I learned that my mother would be away for the whole day. My Father was also away, so I decided to look for some weed of his. Whilst looking through the closet I found dildos and vibrators and such. Me being bi and a guy, thought, "well this could come... | 11 | 8.181818 | |
1364949240 | 1365004101 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | Vitamin_gun: TIFU by using the bathroom.
So I was at the roller rink and had to piss. So I go into the bathroom to use the urinal and my skates roll out as I'm pissing. I fall face first into the urinal while pissing all over my shirt. So now I'm covered in piss and have urinal water in my hair. I try to get up and fal... | 4 | 24.75 | |
1364950046 | 1365397208 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | kelsofb: TIFU by playing Airplane with my friends 3 year old.
This happened on Easter actually.
A little back story: My neighbor happens to be a good friend of mine who just moved here in December with her 3 kids. She is super young (21) and is a single mom. The kids are 1, 3 and 5. We hang out often and the kids see... | 22 | 2.318182 | |
1364949164 | 1365129435 | null | t5_2to41 | 129 | TylerTman: TIFU by trying to shave my balls
Decided to shave the nuts today, got into the shower and realized I had no razor. Get out of shower to check cabinet for more, nothing. I finially decide this has to be done today and find my girlfriends nair hair removal in the shower. So after looking at package and reading... | 6 | 21.5 | |
1364956433 | 1364996264 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,899 | roasthouse: TIFU by accidentally smoking meth.
This past week I have been helping some good friends of my family move out of their house. Very nice respectable people (Husband and wife). So the other day the husband (Lets call him bob) my two friends and I are helping him pack his garage when he offers for us to smoke ... | 16 | 181.1875 | |
1364953853 | 1365083258 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | [deleted]: TIFU (almost) by not making sure my family's iMessage accounts were unlinked
First of all, this happened over the weekend.
**Friday night.**
I asked my girlfriend for some not-so-family-friendly pictures while texting her and she decided to send me one from her iPod to my iPod. I send her "Hello" from my 'P... | 5 | 14.6 | |
1364976406 | 1365273440 | null | t5_2to41 | 102 | gugland: tifu by "updating" my vm
I was working at the new location today. I heard my phone ring and fished it out of my manpurse. Two calls from the "regular" location, two minutes apart, and two voicemails. I hurriedly tried to check the messages, thinking there might've been some scheduling confusion. But my pho... | 5 | 20.4 | |
1364995150 | 1364998045 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | asimplefly: TIFU ruined my chances with a potential Girl friend
Basically ive been talking to a girl (lets call her Dayna) i met up the town centre for about a year through text and facebook. Things were looking good between us and we agreed to meet up. However me being the horny 18 year old male that I am I started ta... | 3 | 4 | |
1364998793 | 1365036308 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,355 | [deleted]: tifu: by not realizing that I was on a VIDEO conference
So I was scheduled off today. I had to take conference call from home pretty early in the morning. Normally our calls are just over the phone but today we had to login into to a online conferencing system. So then call ends and I realize that the camera... | 12 | 112.916667 | |
1365003670 | 1365100830 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | [deleted]: Today I fucked up by sending a link to a suicide joke to a friend whose uncle just killed himself. I copy and past links to people all the time without thinking much about it.
Yeah, what I said in the title. I know, I'm an idiot. Guess I am going to start thinking a little more now.
Thunder21: Can... Can I ... | 8 | 12 | |
1365002510 | 1365011396 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | STDBaby: TIFU by having unprotected sex.
I broke up with my girlfriend of ~5 months and went on a shagging spree. Hooked up with a fair few girls and i was enjoying myself.
Fastforward a month and my condom stash is non-existent. I meet a girl at a rave and bring her back to mine, knowing my stash is out i look aroun... | 4 | 5 | |
1365001673 | 1365009794 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | Mister_Derper: TIFU by losing the dog...
One of my friends was in town and was crashing at my place. We'd handled a 6 pack and a vodka at home and were starting to feel the munchies around 12:30.
Conveniently, it was time for the last of the dog's trifecta of walks for the day so we decided that we'd grab some food ... | 3 | 16 | |
1365003378 | 1365539008 | null | t5_2to41 | 278 | Kid0mega: TIFU by getting a scholarship and being white.
So, back when we took our PSATs a couple months ago, there was a section that let you apply for a national achievement scholarship--but you had to be black or hispanic. At the time, maybe because I thought I was funny or maybe it was a me not wanting to confine t... | 10 | 27.8 | |
1365006522 | 1372569997 | null | t5_2to41 | 82 | pablothepenguinlover: TIFU: By having sex with my girlfriend
Technically this wasn't today due to my inability to get to a computer within the last week.
I was at school and hadn't seen my girlfriend for almost a week. She's fifteen and I'm sixteen. We decided to go to our schools wrestling room for we have done it the... | 11 | 7.454545 | |
1365016003 | 1365017658 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | polarbear2217: TIFU by pulling an April Fools joke
This actually happened two days ago, and I'm not sure if it's okay to post it here.
I read about a Facebook prank where you swap your profile picture and name to match someone else's. I did it on April Fool's Day and she got super pissed and now she and another friend... | 3 | 2 | |
1365005015 | 1365043179 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | _Shh_Dont_Tell_: TIFU by drinking a coffee.
Technically yesterday. I am lactose intolerant but I had my lactaid pills so I wasn't too worried when my black coffee came with some milk in it. I was on my way to work and drank it with the pills. No problems. Note.. I work in a factory on assembly line and this means lifti... | 9 | 4.777778 | |
1365036230 | 1365101962 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | elfa82: TIFU by taking my kids hiking
On Saturday, I decided to take my kids on a hike out in our local canyon in order to give my wife a break and spend some time with them. It was a very nice hike, easy enough for the little ones (6 and 8). We decided to stop at a little spot off the path for the kids to play in a ... | 7 | 5.428571 | |
1365005727 | 1365101742 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | tallrob: TIFU by taking my coffee to the bathroom
so i went to get my usual morning iced coffee. had to use the restroom and it was too far to drop off my coffee at my office, so I take it to the restroom with me and put it on the tp holder. and yep, you guessed it. it fell off the tp holder right onto the front of my ... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1365038661 | 1365040097 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU with MiO fit
TIFU (yesterday) by drinking black cherry flavored mio fit completely by its self. It was extremely sour and I cringed so hard. I spit it out right away I almost threw up.
TL;DR: I drank black cherry flavored mio fit and it was bad...
jedispyder: I've done that with similar things, pretty ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1365041542 | 1365129842 | null | t5_2to41 | 109 | JebusNorris: Tifu by telling my parents I had no life.
My father was telling me how my computer (mainly Reddit) was taking over my life when I said that I had no life for it to take over. Being a selfish arrogant child that I am I didn't realize that my mother was in the room. She has a third stage cancer of the brain ... | 6 | 18.166667 | |
1365049233 | 1365089480 | null | t5_2to41 | 92 | IHurtMyJohnny: TIFU by pouring isopropyl alcohol down my dick hole
Earlier today, I went to take a piss, but, upon letting some urine out, the tip of my penis burned in a most painful fashion. Not a problem, I've had this many times before, the first time when I was 6 (I'm 17 now). When I first experienced the burn I w... | 4 | 23 | |
1365050732 | 1365120451 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | jdsham87: TIFU by wanting more chocolate milk
OK this wasn't necessarily me but it kinda happened because of me. So my cafeteria has a milk dispesensor where basically a big bag of milk sits in a refridgerator and the bag of milk has a tube where the milk comes out into your glass. Anyway I wanted some chocolate milk... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1365049529 | 1365105400 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,336 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my boss pregnant
:(
Daiephir: Lol, thats why you wear a rubber, make sure they're on birth control or finish on their face.
stupefyingly: Or, you know, get a financial abortion, the way women get biological abortions.
[deleted]: How many times are you going to post the same dumb comment? Enou... | 20 | 66.8 | |
1365055274 | 1365095675 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating one too many pot cookies...
This was actually a little while ago but w/e; I was at a friends house, and she had pot cookies, so we ate 2 each as they weren't very potent. After lazing about for an hour watching shitty daytime T.V we encountered the bane of any stoner's existence; "The munchie... | 6 | 3 | |
1365093011 | 1365286970 | t3_1bnho7 | t5_2to41 | 14 | KylePsy: I wouldn't go so far as to say it's "perfectly normal," when it is in no way normal.
[deleted]: If by "normal" you mean "normative", then maybe not... but I'm sure more people do it than you'd think. And they hide the fact because of people who say "That's not normal."
toadsanchez420: Because, wait for it, Tha... | 9 | 1.555556 | |
1365086215 | 1365093330 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Weirfish: TIFU by giving myself pinkeye on the day I started a training course. [NSFW]
So, alarm goes off at 7am. Bright eyed and bushy tailed, I am not. I struggle out of bed, go for a piss, get a drink, turn on my laptop and collapse into the covers again. My course starts at 9:40, so I have plenty of time to spare. ... | 3 | 7 | |
1365086081 | 1365169652 | null | t5_2to41 | 435 | backflipsintotrees: TIFU by reading in my parents room
So my family (the people I live with) consist of my grandparents, my mother, my father, my little sister, and some pets. Today, I was told that I would be home alone and I should take care of the house. Knowing that I would be free of the familial prying eye for a ... | 11 | 39.545455 | |
1365104339 | 1365157785 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: Today I fucked up by drinking water after sex...
Well me and the lady had sex, and she may or may not have been on her period... I was tired after sex, and drank some water.. using my hands.. after i had kinda touched her and myself..
Needless to say that water was fortified with iron. The taste made me alm... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1365105364 | 1365132660 | null | t5_2to41 | 704 | StevilCanevil: TIFU by trusting a fart while wearing white shorts
So it was another sunny day in Southern California, had just went on a nice run on the beach, took a shower, shopped the farmers market, and decided to go get an Acai Bowl from one of the shops near the farmers market. Keep in mind that I hadn't done lau... | 8 | 88 | |
1365107189 | 1365112527 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | mustangwolf1997: TIFUpdate: TIFU by possibly tearing the cords of my eyeball. [I'M OK! :D]
Just got back from the optometrist in Peterborough!
The eyedrops made my pupils dilate to the point where there was like a 2mm ring around my pupil, nothing more. Couldn't see shit.
The optometrist said that what happened was ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1365151263 | 1365153922 | t3_1bou99 | t5_2to41 | 26 | Moonhowler22: What the fuck are you using for an apostrophe? I have ' and `, but not...hmmm...^^, ...heh...heheheh...it^^,
s...but seriously how are you doing that.
[deleted]: My brother's apostrophes do that. He uses a Japanese keyboard.
Moonhowler22: I was wondering if it was a different language or country. It makes... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1365112111 | 1365176438 | null | t5_2to41 | 699 | OJisGuilty: TIFU by asking my gay coworker to smoke with me after work.
First things first, I am straight and currently have a girlfriend. I work at a store in downtown San Francisco which consists of about 90% gay/lesbian. I personally never minded it. But today I fucked up by asking a coworker to smoke with me after ... | 9 | 77.666667 | |
1365119365 | 1365163540 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | DaisyLayz: TIFU by spilling a Coke. 4 actually.
I'm a waitress. Today I had a party of 8. I had a tray full of drinks that I was passing around to all of them. I was half way through, 4 full cokes left on the tray. I bend over to set one down in front of an older women. Most people, upon seeing someone struggle to reac... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1365123465 | 1365179544 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | ShittyOctopus: TIFU by getting menthol shaving cream on my lady parts.
Today, I came home to an empty house, after a rather stressful day to school. This almost never happens, so I decided to pamper myself with a warm bath, pedicure and manicure, the whole nine yards. I painted my toes while drawing the nicest bath.
... | 4 | 26 | |
1365124553 | 1365165032 | null | t5_2to41 | 273 | tripsyfag: TIFU by not looking before I sat on the toilet
First of all, I live with my elderly grandparents who are extremely frugal. They cut open toothpaste tubes to get the last bit out, mix water with dish soap to make it last longer, refuse to have any heat in the winter save for a single space heater in the livin... | 5 | 54.6 | |
1365126499 | 1365136047 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | captain_walker: TIFU Today I fucked up by crashing my friends BMW in an empty parking lot
I was leaving for work, when I noticed that my car was blocked by a friend's car and my roommate's girlfriends car. I called them to see if either would be back in time to move for me before I needed to leave, but no cigar. The ro... | 5 | 11.2 | |
1365118817 | 1365660959 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | filipekiss: TIFU by sending an inappropriate link to the Skype
So, here at work we have this Skype group with a lots of people and another one with the devs. They've blocked youtube because of other departments, but we've been using it with one of those free proxies.
So, I meant to send the link to the devs groups and... | 4 | 4 | |
1365127837 | 1365181541 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | [deleted]: TIFU: I accidentally exposed my dick to someone, and caused a stranger to panic - but these two events were unrelated.
I need a beer.
I was kinda sweaty when I got home from work today because I was walking quickly, so I jumped into the shower as soon as I got in the door. So far, so good.
I got out, tow... | 5 | 23 | |
1365168699 | 1365185176 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | churchify: TIFU by Submitting a Youtube Video instead of a .gif
So I somehow found this video of elephants mating on youtube, and I thought "What the fuck?" so I posted it in, obviously, r/wtf. It was a very short video, but still a video. I received only a couple upvotes and didn't get very much recognition. Then, I l... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1365175036 | 1365215920 | null | t5_2to41 | 794 | Blemish: TIFU By sending a text message to the wrong phone number
So I've been hanging out with a university friend for months.
One night he says he's going out so I ask where. He says to a gay club and invites me along. And that's how he "came out"
I respond saying its not my kind of thing, being a straight guy.
F... | 11 | 72.181818 | |
1365177609 | 1365293510 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | thebonerslayer: TIFU by closing a door
I was having a wonderful morning at work until my manager told me to close a door. There was a folding table behind the door. Once I closed the door, the table fell and hit me in the head. I felt ok for about 15 minutes, but I started to get dizzy and to feel nauseous. I tell the ... | 8 | 3.125 | |
1365209075 | 1365223319 | t3_1br6mu | t5_2to41 | 71 | [deleted]: I contacted the manager today, and she laughed at me. So I called HR and they are trying to put me in contact with the head of LP and head of HR. I'm really offended, the associate barely got a five second glance at me, I'm pretty sure she didn't get a good look at my face. I would assume that they could jus... | 9 | 7.888889 | |
1365197045 | 1365283573 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | Kincaprademon: TIFU (about three years ago)by handing Newport's to a black man that didn't ask for them.
It was the last hour of my shift cashiering at a little grocery store in my hometown. I was in complete autopilot as a monkey could do my job.
Knowing customers usual cigarette orders was considered good customer s... | 6 | 11.333333 | |
1365199393 | 1365212618 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | moi_je_joue: TIFU by failing a Stats midterm
Today midterm grades were posted for my online Stats class. (The class is set up so that even if you get 100% on all hwks, failing the midterm and/or final ensures you fail the class) not only did I fail the test, I am pretty sure the degree I applied for will be taken away ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1365206292 | 1365237565 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,251 | laststandman: TIFU by referencing Star Wars in history class
I'm in a Sophomore history course, intended for History majors. Today we were discussing a book about Dr. Livingstone, Henry Stanley, and Africa. So we get to the subject of Livingstone' s African servants, particularly a few of them who after he died accompa... | 8 | 156.375 | |
1365212618 | 1365291442 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | El_Contador1: TIFU by driving my car
So I was trying to be lazy and rather than go 300 feet down a street I was going to made a wide reverse turn and take a shorter route. As I was looking in my rearview mirror to make the turn I heard a terrible sound, only to look at the front of my car and realize I just hit a gara... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1365215844 | 1365372778 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU by not checking my pants
Today I was hanging around outside this building at my school where a bunch of kids hang out. I was standing around talking to my crush when she suddenly stops talking to me. "Strange," I thought, but I guess she had other things to do.
Later, my friends came by and started ... | 8 | 2 | |
1365221671 | 1365709844 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,140 | shmeedledee: TIFU by throwing up while giving head.
Well, we were in a cramped car doing the deed, 69ing very uncomfortably...I guess I had drank too much Cheerwine, because I had the impending need to burp. It didn't help that this gentleman is particularly well endowed, and so as the act proceeded, I gagged. Usuall... | 10 | 114 | |
1365229631 | 1365234521 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking a homeless lady to buy me cigarettes.
My friend and I were just chilling with his puppy when a woman (probably high 20s- low 30s) comes up to us and pets his dog. She's laughing and chatting up a storm, seems like a really nice lady. My friend asked if we should see if she'll get cigarettes fo... | 7 | 4.142857 | |
1365233046 | 1365369369 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | queenbeetle: TIFU by losing my wallet which contained half of my rent
**TL;DR Lost $515.00 'cause I'm an idiot.**
Preface to my story - My cat has been sick. He has feline hepatic lipidosis. Luckily he's doing ok, but the recovery food has put a dent in our accounts. (And there's a whole story regarding his diagnosis ... | 10 | 9 | |
1365234849 | 1365352467 | null | t5_2to41 | 101 | mgray1: TIFU by not trusting my fart and trying to shit in the bathroom of a restaurant
Well I was having lunch with my friends, and everything was going great, when suddenly I have the feeling that I'm a bit cold. It's ok, we're almost done anyway and I'll turn on the heater in the car. After a while I feel like the w... | 6 | 16.833333 | |
1365239432 | 1365283201 | null | t5_2to41 | 242 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending my brother's mother-in-law lesbian porn.
This actually happened last week but anyway, I use imgur all the time to send my brother's mother-in-law pics, because she doesn't understand how to use anything outside of facebook chat. It's pretty much common knowledge in my family that I'm a lesbi... | 5 | 48.4 | |
1365225056 | 1365268317 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | tlozss: TIFU by trying to go shoe surfing
This actually happened a year or so go. Anyway, my friends have a golf cart that they got from their grandfather a while back. The cart had this little truck bed in the back of it you could hold onto, and it got to a top speed of about 10 MPH. So, being immature we couldn't jus... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1365282399 | 1365381080 | null | t5_2to41 | 838 | Helen_of_TroyMcClure: TIFU by putting a dime into a change machine.
Mild fuck up, but a fuck up nonetheless. I work at a drugstore, and I was refilling the fancy change machine at one of the registers yesterday (it dispenses the coins when someone pays cash, meaning I only have to worry about the bills when giving cha... | 12 | 69.833333 | |
1365294401 | 1365328930 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | gusset25: TIFU by sneezing
I seem to be alone in enjoying the act of sneezing. it's something i got from my father. the more powerful the sneeze, the better, as far as i'm concerned. i try to help it along by looking into a light, voicing a large "A-A-ATCHOO!" and so on.
an hour ago, a tingling in my nose heralded a l... | 14 | 3.214286 | |
1365296633 | 1365306605 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | volcomsk8er720: TIFU by receiving a nude.
This didn't happen to me rather a friend, and it happened last night. He was watching a movie on his xbox, and the way he put it, "It stopped did the little spinning circle loading thing and the screen turned to the grey dashboard." After it did all that it automatically opened... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1365298808 | 1365362614 | null | t5_2to41 | 194 | smldrnheap: TIFU by wearing a scarf.
I'm not a very girly-girl and usually don a sweatshirt during the day for class or for running errands. But today I decided I was going to try and spice it up and wore a cute shirt and a scarf. I was at Target and went to use the restroom and forgot about this scarf. It was hanging ... | 7 | 27.714286 | |
1365299382 | 1365475824 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | JeffBaugh2: TIFU by calling my ex-girlfriend while trying to test out a new microphone
I just procured a pretty swank microphone and headphone set-up for a podcast I'm taking part in, so to test it out, I scroll through my recent calls in Google Voice and call the first number (which I don't really use all that much ... | 7 | 4.571429 | |
1365303035 | 1365451425 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | Helen_of_TroyMcClure: TIFU by singing O, Canada in the bathroom.
This one happened a few years back, I was a junior in high school. So my friend and I are getting out of football practice and we stop in the gym bathroom before heading home (we were managers so we didn't have to change or shower or anything). There al... | 3 | 28.666667 | |
1365301312 | 1365489379 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | Supplemehntal: TIFU by going to the wrong house
So basically, I have a friend of mine who sells me "stuff". Today, I wanted to buy some "stuff", so I called him. He told me to meet him at his mom's house. I rode my bike there, and upon getting there, gave him a call.
"Hey, I'm here"
"Alright, no one's home, so just ... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1365307071 | 1365314700 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | throwawaynopleasewhy: TIFU by leaving my dildos out in the open.. I'm a guy
Every so often I use a dildo on myself. And some butt plugs. I don't have any attraction to men, but prostate stimulation turns me on a lot. I live with my brother and my parents. While no one else was home I had some me time, washed my toys an... | 3 | 21.333333 | |
1365309019 | 1365537549 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | dreddfyre: TIFU by getting taken to the ER because I closed a shower curtain
Today I went into Des Moines with some friends for lunch. The wait was almost 2 hours, so we went to a clothing store to burn some time. I wanted to buy a t-shirt there, and went to the dressing room to see how it fit. The dressing rooms we... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1365313353 | 1365419049 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | TheSuperNerd: TIFU by texting my girlfriend
For a while now I've been feeling like I'm not important to my girlfriend and its been bugging me because when I brought it up with her she just kinda brushed it aside. Anyway, tonight I was texting her and she didn't respond for about an hour and a half which typically means... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1365307343 | 1365316149 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU: By Spitting on my dick.
Usually when I use the urinal at work, I also take the opportunity, to spit. Usually my aim is spot-on, but today, not so much. I accidentally honked a loogie, right on to my crotch. Gross.
tehdslayer: At least you didn't get urinal back splash on your khakis just before going i... | 3 | 4 | |
1365306404 | 1365534699 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Jendoren: TIFU by insulting someone with brain damage
Playing an online game in a group with someone and they say something in REALLY broken English. Me being the typical sarcastic guy say, "Is that even english?" immediately followed by "I didn't mean that as an insult... just joking."
The guy types back, "sorry can... | 7 | 2.714286 | |
1365315445 | 1365394605 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | Avalessa: TIFU by saying the wrong thing to a movie director interested in hiring me
I find it unfair that someone would judge me based on something I said at 1:30 a.m. after a long day but I should also learn that not everybody shares my sense of humor.
So a director who is kinda sorta well known was asking me about ... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1365312086 | 1365972270 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU my laptop
Alrighty, this is a long one and advice is very appreciated.
I was sitting here on a saturday night at about 11 or so and an insatiable urge washed over me to start fixing the few things wrong with my laptop. I have a Sony Vaio VPC-EB3AFX/BJ and the number one thing we've been having a probl... | 7 | 2.285714 | |
1365320651 | 1365367984 | null | t5_2to41 | -7 | [deleted]: TIFU By snooping in my best friends facebook messages.
My best friend left her facebook open and went to shower. Curious little me started snooping around. I went to her messages and noticed she had been messaging a boy who I fancied. Scrolling through some small talk I come across her saying "Just because I... | 6 | -1.166667 | |
1365323557 | 1365368079 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | skins69: TIFU got so drunk i pissed on a car... in mormonville
drank about 15 shots of shitty rum, not super excessive but nonetheless got me blasted. apparently i walked straight out of the McDonalds in Logan Utah, said Fuckin Mormons to a group of them walking in and proceeded to douse a random car, hood, trunk, wind... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1365320241 | 1365451881 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU at a family reunion.
Does anybody remember back in Junior High, back when talking to girls could make a guy nervous? Please tell me I'm not the only one who remembers that.
I'm long past those days now. Or I should be. Grrrr.
So I went to a small family reunion today. Actually, not so much a 'reunion'... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1365338535 | 1365414126 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,417 | CatchUNextTuesday: TIFU By Accidentally Letting my Cat Lick my Eyeball
If, for whatever reason, you have ever wondered what it feels like for a cat to lick your eyeball; just stop. Stop right there. It feels like sanding your eyeball with course sandpaper. Just... just don't ever let it happen. Oh my god. My cats are b... | 24 | 100.708333 | |
1365346392 | 1365366638 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my phone wet
So TIFU. I woke up and went to the washroom as per usual. On my iPhone because is there a way to go without one? So I just finished a nice batch of meadow muffins and drained the hose into the toilet when i lost the grip of my phone. That's right, it fell right into a nice clump ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1365351525 | 1365385967 | null | t5_2to41 | 450 | [deleted]: TIFU by offering to pick my little brother up from a birthday party
My brother, who hasn't had much experience drinking was at an eighteenth birthday tonight (eighteen is the legal drinking age in Australia) and I offered to pick him up so that my parents could get to sleep at a reasonable hour.
He gets in ... | 5 | 90 | |
1365351747 | 1365354445 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | Yuhwryu: TIFU By getting Habañero in my eye
So I was eating some habanero with a friend. I squeezed it a bit and a little drip flew in to my eye, and genius me of course put the habanero on the table and squeezed my eye with the habanero fingers to get the habanero liquids out...
It was really painful, I tell you. It ... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1365362634 | 1365369022 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | throwaw999: TIFU, and now I feel like the biggest fucking douchebag ever right now.
I don't even know if I'm posting this is the right place, but I feel so shit (excuse my language) right now, so I just want to get it off my chest, and get a bit of advice.
Basically, long story short, I met a girl a while back, and we... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1365365875 | 1365366936 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | MasterChiefsAvenger: TIFU by pissing in an airplane toilet
To clarify this happened in 2006-ish on my first ever trip on an airplane
I was sitting in my seat with my mom when I felt the urgent need to pee. I get the green light from my mom to go because we could finally take our seatbelts off and because this was my ... | 3 | 14 | |
1365365956 | 1365694903 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | KulaanDoDinok: TIFU By having Norovirus at my Mom's house.
**Tl;dR: I brought a virus to my Mom's house, shit my pants, clogged a tub with pizza, infected my sister, and made my Mom's Boyfriend late for work.**
Last weekend, I came home because my parents live in the same town that I go to college. Well, I knew it was... | 6 | 5 | |
1365360864 | 1365455144 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | subnaree: TIFU by spilling piss all over the bathroom
Today I decided it was a good time to take a pregnancy test (I'm breastfeeding and my period has decided to disappear).
Since we have no plastic cups lying around, I decided to just use a small, shallow bowl that I previously used to store homemade scrub in. I cle... | 6 | 1.666667 | |
1365369582 | 1365569437 | null | t5_2to41 | 151 | aw_shit_: Tifu by thinking it was just a false alarm
I don't know how this could have occurred, but needless to say, it did. I was at a restaraunt (not fancy by any means...in fact, it was just an Applebee's) and I felt that feeling you only get when you have a shit on its way. Excusing myself, I head for the lou; half... | 11 | 13.727273 | |
1365374498 | 1365449842 | null | t5_2to41 | 331 | slugagainstsalt: TIFU by buying a non refundable airline ticket and clicked the wrong date
I was buying an airline ticket, and decided to change the month of departure from my original search. When I did this, the month of return also changed without me knowing it. Instead of buying a ticket for June 28-August first, i... | 10 | 33.1 | |
1365374802 | 1365401759 | null | t5_2to41 | 116 | iamnotbianchi: TIFU by sticking balls of my own poop underneath the carpet
Admittedly, this didn't happen TODAY, it's a memory I have from my childhood, and one of my biggest "I'm fucked" moments of my life.
When I was younger, about 7 or 8, I used to hold in my poops because I thought it felt good. Now, because of... | 3 | 38.666667 | |
1365374563 | 1365379705 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | mashcopter: TIFU by eating supernoodles
I've been feeling really sick recently and haven't been able to eat very much. So it gets to around 9pm and I'm feeling pretty hungry so I decide to make supernoodles. I eat them and everything is good and I'm feeling fine, and so off I go to bed and I get straight to sleep. I wa... | 3 | 8.333333 |
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