start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1365384388 | 1365450855 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,006 | [deleted]: TIFU by laying in bed with my girlfriend and calling her my sister's name...
Foreword: There is no sexual attraction to my little sister. For the purpose of this story, we'll say my sister's name is Rachel. (it's not)
I was just laying in bed tickling my girlfriend and went for her butt hole because it tic... | 10 | 100.6 | |
1365391173 | 1365392445 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Woody280: TIFU by bullying a girl with a chronic medical problem.
First off, this happened over 10 years ago, back in elementary school, I have since learned my lesson and I feel horrible about my actions and wish that I could take it back. If I ever meet this girl again I will apologize profusely for the terrible way ... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1365211943 | 1365398542 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | BlondishYataghan: TIFU by standing up
I am in a performance theory class which usually involves little to no physical movement. I've been having problems moving my legs and back in a proper fashion since I had a spinal tap that hit a nerve two months ago. We had to choreograph a series of 8 small movements. Not too big... | 9 | 2.111111 | |
1365393553 | 1365427641 | null | t5_2to41 | 259 | [deleted]: TIFU by sucking off a piece of a guy's dick
So I find a guy on Grindr, we meet up. He's a little bit older than he said he was, but plenty fuckable, so we proceed.
We get back to his place, all is going very well. After about half an hour of fun, I'm giving him head, and all of the sudden a weird taste com... | 7 | 37 | |
1365399155 | 1365665285 | null | t5_2to41 | 262 | Peace_Unleashed: TIFU by not fapping for a week... (NSFW)
This happened Saturday but anyways, I didn't fap **all week** because I've been busy and finally I get some down time. So i decide to go to my SO's house and things got a little intense. Next thing I know she is pulling down my pants and performing oral sex on m... | 6 | 43.666667 | |
1365397161 | 1365463667 | null | t5_2to41 | 144 | Mighty_Cthulhu: TIFU By missing my flight home.
So I just spent a week in Los Angeles with my lovely girlfriend, but as always the time comes when we must part ways and become Long-Distance again for a few months, that day was today. I had a flight back to Toronto with a stopover in Denver.
We woke up, got me all pack... | 4 | 36 | |
1365400344 | 1365455550 | null | t5_2to41 | 912 | darnoc9265: TIFU by dropping a couch on my kitten
A week or so ago, for my birthday, the family got 2 sister kittens. Cute as a button, aspiring to be true karma-getting machines.
This morning, one decided to hide under the couch. I decided to lift up the couch to check if she was there because I couldn't find her. Sh... | 11 | 82.909091 | |
1365385802 | 1365446703 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | diddybop: TIFU by fapping after a day at a crawfish festival.
To anyone who has ever eaten crawfish you know its got some spices on it. Well a festival is 100 times worse. I probably ate upwards of 12 pounds of crawfish and my hands were covered in juices and absolute deliciousness. I get home after a wonderful day and... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1365410715 | 1365474139 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | [deleted]: TIFU (a dead mans story to learn from) by being an idiot on a wave runner.
Ok. Feel free to suggest another subreddit. This is a story about man who seriously fucked up, and is no longer here to tell the tale.
I used to work at a lake, we had about 6 people die every year, I could go on about the others,... | 5 | 10.8 | |
1365423243 | 1365535231 | null | t5_2to41 | 190 | MidgetFetish: TIFU and sent my girlfriend to work an hour early
she went to vegas last week, i thought her clock changed
but no, somehow my cell clock changed. we noticed the difference last night and i adjusted her clocks to mine.
she woke up at 450 instead of 550 i realized it when she was on her way to work.
i'm ... | 11 | 17.272727 | |
1365435247 | 1365449124 | null | t5_2to41 | 276 | hitlerslonelynut: TIFU by accidentally nearly killing myself by being stung by 4 bees, knowing I'm allergic.
So I'm a referee for soccer. I've been doing this for years and it's something I'm highly passionate about. This wasn't today, it was yesterday, but it's going to haunt me the next time I have a game. Around 12:... | 5 | 55.2 | |
1365444714 | 1365454233 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | waketosleep: TIFU at the gas station by getting my credit card stuck in the receipt dispenser
I even angrily told the clerk his machine ate my card, not realizing what I did. He was actually incredibly nice, and didn't make me feel like more of an idiot. And yes...I am in fact a girl.
doublin23: the gas attendant shou... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1365448973 | 1365465284 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | McAwesome24: TIFU by losing all my document with my final project on my computer.
So to make it clear, where I live (in Québec), we have to go to a school between high school (5 years) and university that is called cegep. It's normally 2 years for pre-university programs. At the end of those 2 years, on the last semest... | 12 | 9.333333 | |
1365455107 | 1365541116 | null | t5_2to41 | 157 | [deleted]: TIFU by laughing at the girl was having a seizure.
So I walk into the class and I see my teacher and a girl on the floor. I thought they were messing around so I chuckle a bit. 5 seconds later I realized what was going on here. I felt like a major asshole.
[deleted]: Well, was she seizing in a funny way? Co... | 11 | 14.272727 | |
1365457259 | 1365528672 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by using "muffin top" As a term of endearment....
So I says to my girl I says...c'mere my little muffin top, she does the opposite of come any where near me, fml!
Edit: "but baby, muffin tops are delicious!! They are the best part of the muffin!"
FellKnight: TYFU by copying the text of a commercial wo... | 5 | 0.4 | |
1365467193 | 1365506944 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by sending a Check to a Termed employees old house.
Oh man what a beautiful Monday Morning!
Got me a fuckin Caramele Frappe from Mickey D's, and I am chilling at my desk when one of the IT Helpdesk guys tells me to meet a Co-Worker in the Shipping Room.
( I work part-time in IT during the Mornings an... | 7 | 3.142857 | |
1365467785 | 1365546129 | null | t5_2to41 | 4,212 | gosailor: TIFU by getting my finger stuck in a Target basket...(PICS)
Not using a throwaway because, fuck it...
pics http://imgur.com/a/Mq0p9
I've lived in europe for the last three years and haven't been to one of my favorite stores ever since I moved. Well one week into being in the states I'm walking through targe... | 13 | 324 | |
1365465563 | 1365555771 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU (another lake mishap of a poor girl) by sitting in a ski boat.
I'll make this one short. I was pumping gas at a lake when a ski boat came speeding in. Yelling to call 911. We did. What happened? They were about to start towing of a skier, and as the boat was getting up to speed, the rope was unravel... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1365479789 | 1365490802 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU: I failed to note one stupid discrepancy when asking a girl to prom
Now this is not me getting my dick stuck in something or one of the really good posts. It's more my rant on how the pair, which I had just grown, were crushed by stupidity. Shitty TL;DR at the end.
So I met this girl at work. We're bo... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1365483533 | 1365508158 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by flushing a pop can
A bit of backstory:
I'm in grade 11 and in junior high i found out flushing pop cans will plug toilets perfectly by getting stuck in the hole, and they are near fucking impossible to remove because of the suction and shit of the previous user on top. It makes for a great (and evil... | 3 | 3 | |
1365486908 | 1365562784 | null | t5_2to41 | 208 | dommerisback: TIFU by making Neil deGrasse Tyson really uncomfortable
He was speaking at my school, and we got to go and meet him after the show. I was trying to think of something witty or funny to say, and the best I could come up with was asking, "Hey, can we take an awkward prom-style photo together?" He gives me a... | 6 | 34.666667 | |
1365497134 | 1365558323 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | stupendousdragon: TIFU By accidentally deleting a list on my phone that had been accumulating things since 2011.
(sorry for the bad title and grammar)
Oh god...Guys I feel like this is a monumental fuck up.
So, basically On the notes app on my iphone I've been slowly adding little "I've always wanted to try that" so... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1365508871 | 1365559312 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | Cardboardgroundhog: TIFU by snorting chipotle powder
I was jarring up bulk spices and managed to end up with the tags off half of them. A quick sniff-check made it very clear which one was the pure chipotle powder. Of course I completely overdid it and basically bumped hot pepper, temporarily blinding and choking mysel... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1365510301 | 1365647625 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | Dagoth_Draal: TIFU by using hair removal cream and then shaving
So I wanted to see if this stuff actually worked. I applied it to my whole body, being a hairy human and all, but I think I kept it on past the required time. The fucking hair did not come off, even after scrubbing with my towel.
That shit burns. Unfortu... | 6 | 8.166667 | |
1365487523 | 1365653979 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | cthulhu_zuul: TIFU (five years ago) a veteran's funeral
So, five years ago I was a junior in high school. I was also the first-chair trumpet player in all four of my school's bands (small school), and was moderately well known around town (small town) as being the kid with the trumpet solos.
As such, I was approached ... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1365516277 | 1365582308 | null | t5_2to41 | 114 | easyethirty: TIFU by eating a tandoori burger before flying in a brand new plane
So a few days ago my father calls me up (who lives in Sydney) and tells me he is planning on flying this brand new light aircraft up to Queensland to see me and show me the plane. I've seen a few pictures of it and it is beautiful. A spotl... | 4 | 28.5 | |
1365526165 | 1365535579 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating laxitaves
Last night I bought two boxed of chocolated laxitaves. Not thinking anything of it I ate the first box and then an hour later forgetting that I had already taken the first box. I ate the other. Today in school while taking a state testing in a quiet room with 20+ people, I felt an aw... | 7 | 3 | |
1365546706 | 1365556419 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | [deleted]: TIFU by flossing after detailing my truck.
My mouth is some weird combination of numb and minty. I must have still had armor all on my hands when I started flossing, because my entire mouth is numb and it's fucking weird. If I die, it's been real.
JustLetMeComment: Read the warning label. If non-toxic, buy ... | 4 | 12.25 | |
1365548464 | 1365597431 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,509 | [deleted]: TIFU: Poopie sharpie.
So today I got home after school and try to do something new. I throw on a porn video and get all lubed up. But I saw something sitting on my desk today and thought
"what the hell, I'll do it." I put some lotion on that sharpie and stuck it up there. It came out pretty shitty and it was... | 18 | 83.833333 | |
1365547897 | 1365618176 | null | t5_2to41 | 122 | andrewsmith1986: YIFU by swallowing two crest white strips.
I came home late (read that as drunk) from the bar and realized I forgot to whiten my teeth. So I put them in and laid down to watch wayne's world.
Well I fell asleep and swallowed them.
My mouth hurts and my stomach has been hurting all day.
My teeth... | 9 | 13.555556 | |
1365561837 | 1365659334 | null | t5_2to41 | 164 | darkestburningstar: TIFU by "pants"ing my brother in front of my mom and her boyfriend.
this happened like 5 minutes ago. my brother was being a normal younger sibling, annoying me like usual. to get back at him, i decided to pull his shorts down and reveal his underwear. we've all done it before right? well on this pa... | 8 | 20.5 | |
1365562247 | 1365681893 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | [deleted]: TIFU by jizzing in my pants as my dad entered my room.
First off, this happened on Sunday.
I had my girlfriend over and we start playing Skyrim. And, of course, the topic of masturbation arose. *(heh)*
Anyway, she tells me that she would enjoy watching me jack off. So, horny me agrees. I get some materia... | 5 | 18.6 | |
1365564351 | 1365577404 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: TIFU: Trying to unclog the toilet without a plunger
Alright, so I was at home alone and I went to the bathroom, only to notice a wad of toilet paper keeping it from flushing. I didn't want to drag the plunger all the way from the top floor and so I decided to perform it in a... different way... I got a plast... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1365570503 | 1365664517 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | CakeBat: TIFU (last year) by dry swallowing a pill--and burning a hole in my esophagus.
Last year I was right about to go into an important meeting and I got a headache. I asked if anyone had any Advil or whatever, and my friend gave me an Aleve. I didn't have any water, and couldn't leave to get some, so I just dry sw... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1365579654 | 1365662994 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | Tripacola: TIFU by taking my cum rags/tissues to work.
This actually happened a few years ago, but that poopie sharpie post reminded me of it.
I used to cum into rags or tissues, and throw them in a bag. I didn't want to put them in the garbage because it looked really obvious what they were, and I didn't want to put ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1365586503 | 1365624688 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,756 | thelovepirate: TIFU by melting my skin off.
This was about a month ago, but please don't hold that against me.
I was alone in my girlfriend's home a while she was off at work. I was rummaging through her bathroom drawers for some fingernail clippers when I came across her bottle of [Nair Hair Remo... | 10 | 175.6 | |
1365584180 | 1365664014 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | ThatBastardTim: TIFU by Pulling the Fire Alarm at work
I work in a restaurant. I'm the Manager. Today at work while I was having to deal with some annoying fatty who waited till they had ate all their food to complain about it, I hear screaming from the kitchen. As I'm running back there a server yelled that the place ... | 3 | 8 | |
1365599545 | 1365624360 | null | t5_2to41 | 218 | enKrypt0: TIFU by hurling a rock at an object hanging on a tree
Well, it did not happen today, but a few months ago while on safari in Maasai Mara Gamepark in Kenya.
We had gone on a game drive into the wilderness. At one point we parked the van and went out to do a little bit of exploring. I wandered furthest and go... | 4 | 54.5 | |
1365595717 | 1365770079 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by anal masturbation.
So yesterday night around 10 o clock, I was on my bed, and I, being a stupid male heterosexual teen, wanted to anal fap. So I look around, I found a mini flashlight and said to myself: ummm small enought. Good, now I got a dildo, let's do it. ME, being a genius, started to enter i... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1365605665 | 1365641494 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by smoking inside
I'm not a big smoker, maybe like 4-5 a week if that but today I wanted one so I had one.
Nobody in my family knows I smoke, so I wake up and realise I'm home alone for about 8 hours.
I contemplated going outside for a smoke but then I'd have to get dressed and it was a whole big deal... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1365610353 | 1365702117 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | brperry: TIFU by grabbing live electrical wire
Seemed simple enough, go through the house replace the creme colored sockets from the 70s with new white one's.
Everything looking good, go to the circuit breaker and turn off the power to the kitchen.. Check.
go to the room, check the lights, No power.. Check
look at... | 10 | 11.2 | |
1365611468 | 1365614217 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | a_hungry_bear: TIFU by not unplugging my Ethernet cord from my Xbox 360 during a thunderstorm.
I though my Xbox was protected because it was plugged into a surge protector but a power spike destroyed my Xbox Ethernet port and one of the ports on my router. Who would of thought?
EDIT: anyone wouldn't happen to know if ... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1365615706 | 1365724619 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Ken10Ethan: TIFU by attacking my brother..
Yes, the first thing i will say is that that was a horrible thing to do. I was acting out of anger, and not by thinking. But, this is me 'fucking up' so i suppose it's natural kinda.
Basically, i was doing some studying for a essay, when my brother decides to walk into the bed... | 5 | 0.6 | |
1365617983 | 1365625553 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by killing the new family puppy
First off I must state that this is my mother's doing... I just thought this fuck up was SO BAD I had to share.
So today, when the new family dog went into heat, my whole family got mad at my mother. Why? You may ask?
About 9 months ago, when my dad was on a business... | 4 | 10 | |
1365621216 | 1365879587 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,431 | wblueskylives: Tifu and got myself fired.... with a riddle.
This actually happened a couple weeks ago, but I didn't even realize this subreddit existed. Here's the story:
I (used to) work at popular pizza chain as a delivery driver. We get requests on receipts all the time, draw this, write a joke, write your favorite... | 32 | 75.96875 | |
1365628106 | 1365690730 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | gtwerd: TIFU by getting a replacement phone using my warranty, instead of just upgrading right away.
I have a plan with Verizon Wireless, and am always sure to pay the little extra to get the warranty, so if anything happens to my phone, it will be covered, I'm also very careful with it, i rarely drop it, it's never be... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1365629738 | 1365630717 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: tifu: by not showing confidence in front of a girl I like
i've learned over and over, the biggest turnoff for a girl isn't a guy being fat, a guy being short, a guy having glasses, but its not having confidence. The girl im talking about is one that my friend tried to hook me up with. We connected through ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1365637576 | 1365723596 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | unused-username: TIFU by using Apple Maps.
A little introduction. I currently only work 16 hours a week, and I have been desperately looking for a second job. I had gone through 3 interviews with my nearest Chipotle, but didn't get the job. However, my friend that I met last semester in Speech told me I had a perfect p... | 5 | 6.4 | |
1365647016 | 1365700962 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | VRFireRetardant: TIFU by prematurely formatting my hard drive.
So I got a windows 7 ultimate disc and decided i should upgrade and start fresh. I decide that I will keep all my files (about 400 gigs) so I brought my laptop to school to hook up to one of the extra hard drives while I had decided to reinstall. So get to ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1365645084 | 1365688981 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | darkrock: TIFU: playing catch with some friends, now I have pink eye.
some friends of mine convinced me to play catch with them, but we didn't have a ball, so one of the kids found a sharpie, and I didn't wash my hands after.
Now that I think about it, the pen did smell like ass, but I thought all black sharpies smell... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1365625819 | 1365660325 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | CJ090: TIFU: I took a sleeping aid instead of a vitamin that helps keep you awake
I'm stationed on a sub and have been up working for the past few days nearly non stop with little sleep. Last night I was lucky to get two hours down after working 20+ hours. This morning I was fine but around mid day I felt slightly tire... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1365650066 | 1365724093 | null | t5_2to41 | 76 | Dhand4: TIFU by having a really loud fart during a Remembrance Day assembly
First of all, this occurred many years ago, but that doesn't change the amount of fuckuppery that took place.
So, I was in grade 6 or 7, it was November 11, and my school was having a Remembrance Day assembly. The assembly was typical - poems,... | 6 | 12.666667 | |
1365650977 | 1365659812 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | cwt99: TIFU sending a snapchat to the wrong person
it was intended for my girlfriend but my fat fingers clicked the wrong name. i think you can guess what it was of...
Coastie071: Well who'd it go to?
Boss? Mom? SO's mom? Co-worker?
Bassnectar_and_milk: Just break your arms now, OP, and hope it was your mom.
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1365657792 | 1365736985 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU in the op shop (thrift store)
Today perusing the local op shop with my friend for vinyl records I found "The Korean Orphans Choir" record and decided to get it because it sounded funny. At the register rummaging around my pockets to pay the $2 some of the condoms I got at the youth centre that I was pla... | 4 | 7 | |
1365660453 | 1365662525 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | slaindragonz: TIFU- my landlord did a surprise inspection when I was out of town.
dirty sex toys were found, and I have to be out by the end of the month...
CrabgrassMike: What type of place do you where your landlord can enter your residence?
Sonic5039: Most places require landlords to give at least a 24 hour notice... | 3 | 3 | |
1365672434 | 1365709477 | null | t5_2to41 | 403 | HazardousCupcakes: TIFU by sitting in my friend's lap...
(Technically this is more of a Three Years Ago I Fucked Up, but I digress...)
Back in the good old school days, we had Friday sport. This term, myself and a group of friends decided to join the Representative Touch Footy team, and we were waiting for the bus to ... | 7 | 57.571429 | |
1365678906 | 1365679483 | t3_1c4m8l | t5_2to41 | 9 | zecheeseking: I don't think that would help, she's not the kind of person to see something like this and go "oh that's ok".
[deleted]: not saying anything is better?
listen to this advice, it's better than what you're doing.
fwiw i don't think you did anything wrong and the only problem is reestablishing terms.
goo... | 3 | 3 | |
1365662855 | 1365689343 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | P_Spikey: TIFU by fingering a girl.
I was at my girl's house today and her parents left to go watch a game. So I decide to move in and start putting my hand down in her pants, I finger her and she starts moaning. We were in the living room because nobody was there, as she was moaning I looked around and I see her broth... | 3 | 10 | |
1365695475 | 1365707159 | null | t5_2to41 | 356 | littlestblue: TIFU by peeing with a chubby
i got up all groggy n shit, was all like "shit, i gotta pee. cool, i dont have a boner." i sit down, with my good posture and a halfy goin on, i peed right through the gap and into my pajama pants. i didnt notice until my left foot started getting warmer than usual. that hasnt... | 7 | 50.857143 | |
1365695553 | 1365721484 | null | t5_2to41 | 193 | Lars9: TIFU by locking myself out and thinking I just had gas
Every day I drive to a park and ride, which is about 2 miles away from my place. Well this morning as I was leaving, I left my keys on the counter and locked the door on the way out. It was both my car keys and my condo keys and I had no way back in. My wife... | 6 | 32.166667 | |
1365703688 | 1365864313 | null | t5_2to41 | 239 | Backdrifts32: A little trend I've been noticing on TIFU...
I feel like there has been an influx of "This happened x amount of time ago but anyway...." type post. While these stories can be interesting it's not something that you did TODAY or hell even in the past couple weeks. Personally, I enjoy this subreddit because... | 12 | 19.916667 | |
1365713982 | 1365984042 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | jajg: TIFU by ejaculating on my carpet
Technically, this was a couple of years ago but whatever. It was around 11 PM and I was in my parents dining room on my laptop screwing around on facebook. I noticed my ex had posted a couple of pictures and decided to have a quick look. I've always found it interesting how even t... | 6 | 10.5 | |
1365709094 | 1365726761 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | cezeone: TIFU by laughing at the wrong time
My boss had a stroke. He was hospitalized today. While a coworker was explaining his status I had my ear buds in and was laughing hysterically like a hyena at adviceanimals.
Tl;Dr caught laughing during bad news
FurryPancake: You deserve this for laughing at advice animals.... | 3 | 19.333333 | |
1365716909 | 1365797539 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,755 | IthoughtIcame: TIFU Girl gave me head, I thought I came...I was wrong![Slightly NSFW?]
So yeah it actually didn't happen today but about 5 years ago. I was still a virgin and kind of frustrated about it. You know how it goes "shit i'm still a virgin..."
So I was at this party and I heard that there was a girl which I ... | 17 | 162.058824 | |
1365718237 | 1365732397 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | Brynjolf-of-Riften: TIFU by playing hero after giving blood
TL; DR: Giving blood then playing hero to a girl is a bad idea.
So today was our school's blood drive, I sign up with great enthusiasm and notice my friend who happens to be a girl is in the same slot as me. We go together to the Blood Drive Bus and get signe... | 5 | 17 | |
1365719062 | 1365819324 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | purplemazepen: TIFU by clogging my boyfriends toilet and thinking it would be a good idea to empty it. Out the front of his house.
Ok so. I live with my boyfriend. Our toilet is broken and we have to manually fill it up. I had to take a dump SOOOO bad. So I waited til he was sleeping. I do the deed and flush. Suddenly,... | 6 | 11.666667 | |
1365720437 | 1365730374 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | traviesaurus: TIFU by no showing work
TIFU. I am currently working at a temp agency until my full-time job landscaping can start (it's because of the bad weather up here in Ontario). I went to the temp job yesterday from 3pm-11pm. I told them I'd be fine to work from 7am-3pm the next day. I decided I'd stay up since I ... | 6 | 2 | |
1365719092 | 1365766657 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | MidgetPorno: TIFU by searching midget porn
So I'm a junior in high school and my "friend" takes my phone. I ask for it back and as a joke I search up some terms like porn, kinky porn, kinky midget porn and even more porn. I hand it back to him and he finds the terms. He practically shows the entire classroom including ... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1365724272 | 1365779960 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting angry at someone who was failing on purpose.
So, today I was sitting in Spanish class, doing my work, when I overheard a conversation that was being held next to me. Before I delve into the story, there is a girl, let's call her Karen, who is constantly obnoxious in class. She has a 6th gr... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1365724153 | 1365860483 | null | t5_2to41 | 110 | tossinthetrash93: TIFU by coughing so hard I shat my self
So recently I have come down with a nasty upper respiratory infection and have been coughing a lot.
Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria at my college when I felt a particularly big cough coming on. It was a very effective cough, and apparently too effective... | 4 | 27.5 | |
1365727435 | 1365800671 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | wangtron: TIFU by drinking fireball
So, it's like 6pm, just get off work. My coworkers and I plan to go get a few drinks, and then call it a night, we all have work the next morning.
Long story short, a few drinks end up being many drinks, which leads us to our first liquor store, where we proceed to get some cigare... | 5 | 4 | |
1365723050 | 1365838732 | null | t5_2to41 | 76 | I_love_yer_face: TIFU by forgetting I had 3 cats.
I have a bit of a fear of disembodied eyes in darkness, where some creepy reflective eyes seemingly not connected to a face float about behind some poor unsuspecting person.
But anyway I was walking to the toilet and I see 3 pairs of disembodied eyes floating towards m... | 5 | 15.2 | |
1365728078 | 1365729272 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | shastacoop13: TIFU by flushing condoms down the toilet
"So me and this girl pretty attractive and nice. We dated for like 6 moths or so. But anyway like a month after we started dating we started having sex. It was great. I would go to her house all the time and her mother would hardly ever be home(her father passed aw... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1365731050 | 1365734627 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | VinnieWilson02: TIFU at work
TIFU a few ways, liking a girl I work with, staying after my shift to spend time with said girl, but she was mad at me so I may have showed emotion at work and now my coworkers want her dead. I still like her, and I have no hard feelings but I had sorrow in my voice, which may have fucked h... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1365732320 | 1365856163 | null | t5_2to41 | 95 | lttankor7: TIFU by pissing all over my mothers drapes. (pics included)
So I was playing Xbox in my room and had the idea to release the Kraken, I walk to the bathroom across the hallway and close the door, turn the light on, unzip the pants and begin to let the dam break. Now, keep in mind I live in Pennsylvania, and t... | 8 | 11.875 | |
1365719869 | 1367984715 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | chaobro: TIFU by sitting down.
I went to go study with a friend outdoors. There are these nice chairs and small tables on a raised terrace, and we decide to go there. I sat down, and realized that the chair was a bit small for my hips. You see, I do even lift.
I was getting settled in, but little did I know the small ... | 5 | 2.2 | |
1365736174 | 1365756078 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Darthrevan1313: TIFU by licking my friends finger.
A young female friend and I (M18) were riding home on a bus together after a tennis match (we both play), and we were sitting next to each other. I don't remember what prompted it, but she was playfully poking her finger around my face and I was acting like I was ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1365708667 | 1365888087 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | Whateverwhatever9: TIFU by masturbating so hard I chipped a tooth.
So, I was masturbating, and had a giant orgasm that made me clench m teeth really hard.
My tooth felt weird, and apparently, I chipped it.
Now it hurts and my tooth is crooked.
I orgasmed so hard I chipped a tooth. What the hell is wrong with me... | 6 | 9.833333 | |
1365757055 | 1365839682 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | Dekecoy: TIFU by trying to take advantage of Google+
So I am a man who enjoys doing let's plays on YouTube, the only issue I had was that the account I was using was made when I was 11, leading to my brilliant username of "MarioZeldaScatmanFan." So with the recent "Google trying to make people use their real names" thi... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1365755880 | 1365889373 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,144 | UncleCornPone: TIFU by purchasing (on ambien) not 1, but TWO food trucks for a total of $53,860. I do not even cook.
Sort of a ambien blackout where i must've thought that going into the foodtruck business was a great idea...and won both auctions. Now I have to figure out how to get out of it.
LennonMOBILE: For some r... | 11 | 104 | |
1365773995 | 1365778748 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | jamaces: TIFU by playing with my nightlight and getting shocked really bad. never going to do that again.
So yeah this actually didn't happen today. I think I was maybe 2 or 3, so this happened about 24 years ago.
There I was, seeing my nightlight plugged into the wall. I wonder how that works I said so I started flic... | 3 | 1 | |
1365774586 | 1365791285 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | Lawandeconduh: TIFU by spilling coffee all over myself right before an interview.
To make matters worse, I tried to make it better by pouring water on it to get it out. Turns out it doesn't work that way. Now I've got a large light-brown stain instead of a small coffee stain. I just look like I'm wearing an old dirty s... | 3 | 17.333333 | |
1365694103 | 1365887417 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | aguy623: TIFU by sleeping with a girl other than the girl I like
So, this girl in my class and I have been working on a number of projects lately and we've developed a great connection. There seems to have been a number of signals, her calling things "our song," texts for no reason, etc... The only problem was that I... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1365785988 | 1365795717 | null | t5_2to41 | 157 | watchesyousleep: TIFU by going to sleep last night with my nicotine patch on.
If you're unfamiliar with this fuck up, it's not always bad, but this particular time it was...
The short of it that the dreams are fucking intense and as vivid as real life. I have done it in the past, and try to avoid it at all costs. The ... | 6 | 26.166667 | |
1365775677 | 1365806903 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | TTTNL: TIFU by using my iPhone at breakfast
So i was eating my breakfast while scrolling through my RSS feed on my phone and suddenly...i dropped my phone...into a pack of butter. Then there was a marvelous but worrying sight to behold, the phone was standing upright, 10% deep in butter, fuck. The charging port and spe... | 6 | 4 | |
1365797051 | 1365862728 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,320 | sobakedlol: TIFU by accidentally smoking hash during my lunch break and now I'm sitting in my office baked & useless
I fucked up so huge.... throwaway so I don't get fired or sued or arrested
My frient's birthday is this weekend so last night I rolled up a bunch of tobacco + powdered hash spliffs to have them read... | 11 | 210.909091 | |
1365790631 | 1365807159 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | joshmo712: TIFU by using my parking brake after not using it for several months
Apparently you're not supposed to do that, because the back brakes can get stuck. Which mine did, and I ended up dragging one of my wheels (thankfully just one) a good 15 miles down the freeway before I realized there was a problem. Woo.
T... | 3 | 15.333333 | |
1365801850 | 1365813469 | null | t5_2to41 | -2 | alycatmeow16: TIFU by going to Paris: letting two boys eiffel tower me.
I'm abroad and on a journey of self discovery, exploring what it means to be a modern woman in society. Shit happens.
zengosm: I don't know what an eiffel tower is, besides the obvious.
masterstick8: Yeah, I heard its just some shitty building ... | 4 | -0.5 | |
1365800151 | 1367205033 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | jdb12: TIFU Dumbass me got on somebody's Facebook and posted 8=D~
I have a tutor for organization and stuff, and she just left her phone out with no password set. Being the incredibly smart guy I am, I decided to open Facebook and post "8=D~"
I'm probably getting suspended for it. I have no motherfucking brain. I can'... | 8 | 2.375 | |
1365796111 | 1365991309 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | pudgy_bear: TIFU by hitting the most bitchy woman's car.
Today I fucked up when I went to pick my dog up from the vet. The woman I hit was parked like an asshole, way crooked and over the line. (While I should have been more careful when avoiding her car, she also shouldn't have parked over the line. The lines are ther... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1365814979 | 1365871378 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | vagranthologram: TIFU by swallowing a tampon whole.
**This post is gross and could be potentially triggering** This actually happened a couple weeks ago, but I just found this sub and thought my story was worthy. I've been bulimic for a while and in order to hide the teeth marks, I tried to use other instruments to tri... | 4 | 18.25 | |
1365776505 | 1365866958 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | anonben: TIFU by going for a drive..
This was a year ago, but I digress..
So, I'd recently passed my driving test and I thought that as it was a reasonably nice day (it was dry, sunny and it not many people would be on the roads as it was 2pm on a school day), I would go for a drive on some country roads and gain some... | 4 | 3 | |
1365823599 | 1365828604 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | CreedShrute: TIFU I was baked in class and I answered the teachers question with a racist answer in front of 300 people.
My teacher asked a question about a video game made in Japan titled "RapePlay" where the goal of the game is to rape girls. He then explained that it was completely legal, and our class was obviously... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1365825770 | 1365862431 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | tinyspoonnn: TIFU by washing my face with shampoo.
I was rushing while in the shower and put shampoo in my hands to wash my hair and rubbed it on my face because I might be retarded. I was Helen Keller for a good five minutes.
snadwich: what? it's the same process for shampoo, soap, body wash, facial cleanser. do you n... | 3 | 3 | |
1365826620 | 1365834392 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | ImBrownieS: TIFU by throwing a slider
All right, let me set the stage for you.
It's 5:25PM, and my baseball team has been playing since. 4:30. Not too long of a game, and its winding down in the 6th (we play 7).
I've been pitching all day, and neither teams have been doing very well. It's 1-1 and they have a runner ... | 5 | 9.4 | |
1365868223 | 1365877835 | null | t5_2to41 | 191 | rockworldthis: TIFU by letting my phone sync to dropbox
Me and a girl had a lot of fun couple of days ago.. To keep things short I took some (alot) photos (and videos) with my phone, and little did I think of that my phone automatically uploads every photo to my Dropbox. Well that shouldn't be a problem if not I had sh... | 4 | 47.75 | |
1365862543 | 1365974330 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,029 | raptorscallion: TIFU by missing my final exam
So there were two classes, both taught by the same prof. The exam was pretty big too, as it was worth 50% of the final grade. Anyway, the class codes were exactly the same, with the exception of one letter being switched with another. Me, being the dumbfuck that I am, went ... | 16 | 64.3125 | |
1365867327 | 1365907089 | null | t5_2to41 | 708 | SOMUCHPOOP33: TIFU by eating two packs of breathsavers.
I'm a 16 year old girl and I'm quite small. Like any lazy day I was just downing a total of two whole packs (12 in each pack) of these sugar-free mints called breathsavers. In about an hour I was getting that terrible gurgly sound from the deep depths of my stomac... | 10 | 70.8 | |
1365856572 | 1365881107 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | matt1131: TIFU by swallowing a jagged piece of plastic...(maybe)
I have this bad habit of chewing on stuff. If it's small and plastic, I'll probably put it in my mouth and chew on it for an hour or so. I mostly chew on plastic bottle caps and those little rings around the nozzle.
Last night, I didn't do much. My pare... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1365879131 | 1365902668 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | Mort_the_jew1: TIFU by throwing a giant house party when parents when out of town.
One of those situations where you invite a few friends over.. then they invite a few friends over and before you know it theres 90 drunk high school kids running about tearing shit up trying to have a 'project x' experience. Of course th... | 4 | 10.5 |
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