start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1426097397 | 1426143587 | t3_2yparu | t5_2to41 | 264 | Boat_Noodles21: TIFU by saving a drunk girl from a creep that was trying to take advantage of her
So this did not happen today. It happened about a couple years ago.
My buddy and I decided to go to the bars one weekend. It was a very fun night. I was on a good one and noticed this girl was feeling the same. She was th... | 10 | 26.4 | |
1426097971 | 1426128927 | t3_2ypc4f | t5_2to41 | 74 | greeneggsandram: TIFU By getting the police called to a Military Installation.
So I thought I would share my story with you guys. This happened about 2 years ago. I was in the National Guard and this was my very last drill every before getting out. So me and some friends are just chilling in the supply room chatting ab... | 8 | 9.25 | |
1426099105 | 1426102182 | t3_2ypelx | t5_2to41 | 4 | JackHammer15: TIFU By eating that..
I wasn't really hungry when I ordered dinner last night, so i planned on saving it for left overs in the morning. However it was mexican food, and I shouldn't have eaten it the next day. I had a tattoo appointment, and my tattoo artist is a really hot chick (She looks like Scar-Jo). ... | 4 | 1 | |
1426099948 | 1426102466 | t3_2ypgn1 | t5_2to41 | 39 | [deleted]: TIFU by offering an elderly woman on the bus my seat.
TIFU big time. What a day. So this afternoon on my way work the weirdest, stupidest, most fucking uncalled for thing happened too me. So today I get on a bus, it's already packed which is annoying. It's enough that the air is warming up meaning body odor ... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1426100077 | 1426101706 | t3_2ypgz7 | t5_2to41 | 7 | VanityKing: TIFU By drinking a protein shake
This actually happened today about an hour ago.
I normally hit the gym at night since I enjoy sleeping in, but today I had one of those mornings where I couldn't fall back asleep after going to the bathroom. I don't like lifting after eating and I figured Id drink a prote... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1426100933 | 1426103830 | t3_2ypix7 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Born4ree: TIFU by asking my dad what Chemtrails were
Ok, so I'm casually talking to my dad today and wished him a happy birthday. I mentioned to him about the latest Vice piece on global warming hoping to strike up some civil discussion. I knew I shouldn't have gone there, but I did even knowing his tendency to be a c... | 6 | 1.5 | |
1426096093 | 1426156323 | t3_2yp7t2 | t5_2to41 | 161 | anti_prince_charming: TIFU by thinking there was a Cinderella-like girl who needed my help
First of all, this happened over 2 years ago during frosh week at my university.
Second of all, I made a reddit account just to share this story.
It was Friday night and all the young men and women on/off campus were gettin... | 5 | 32.2 | |
1426101376 | 1426101714 | t3_2ypjvc | t5_2to41 | 7 | Fun-Times: TIFU by honking my horn at a mall
This was a few days ago, but it fits the category. I got my learners months ago, and was driving outside of a local mall. As I'm driving an old lady crosses the street so I obviously stop and let her go. As she's reaching the other side of the street I start to move and my h... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1426103776 | 1426108227 | t3_2yppfb | t5_2to41 | 11 | HugandDrug: TIFU by giving the blood of a virgin
This particularly embarrassing TIFU requires a back story. Two months into working at a security company, this 22 year old red haired gorgeous girl joins as a bookkeeper. (There was no one even CLOSE to my age at this place.) So of course I do all the usual things to g... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1426104330 | 1426110556 | t3_2ypqq8 | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating atomic wings from Wing Stop
Ate the wing to try it for the first time. Went to the bathroom and didnt wash my hands first. My penis is currently on fire.
Chingasa: Is that new? Atomic? The hottest they got at my local Wing Stop is either the Honey Sriracha or however you spell it, or their ... | 4 | 8.25 | |
1426104713 | 1426192804 | t3_2yprmr | t5_2to41 | 71 | communistwithagun: TIFU Really badly by forcing my mother to fly 1500 miles for no reason, then having her walk in on me and my wife diddling
Once upon a time, (yesterday) my wife and I got some bad news regarding our twin pregnancy. My mother, who is very interested in their progress, hates my wife. She also doesn't c... | 7 | 10.142857 | |
1426105680 | 1426138030 | t3_2yptvo | t5_2to41 | 29 | Charlie8005: TIFU by accepting an invitation to my neighbor's church
This happened a few years back, just after the crash of 08.
I was with an IPO that went bust – I lost everything. Needless to say I was a bit down, but I was doing my best to bounce back. I had great neighbors at the time, very lovely people, ve... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1426105318 | 1426632869 | t3_2ypt2t | t5_2to41 | 61 | coliegreen: TIFU by trying to hide my cats from my landlord.
I previously fucked up when applying for my two bedroom apartment and lied about owning my cat Izzy. All was good until my apartments let us know they are going to install a washer and dryer in my closet. We promptly hide our weed and our cats in the other ro... | 7 | 8.714286 | |
1426106421 | 1426114026 | t3_2ypvmc | t5_2to41 | 3 | Liam_Shotson: TIFU By going to the bathroom
So I have to clarify this was actually about a month ago.
Anyways I love eating spicy peppers. You know those guys that think it's awesome to put themselves through hell by eating the spiciest crap they can? Yeah. I'm one of them.
So basically one afternoon I am at home a... | 3 | 1 | |
1426088211 | 1426162224 | t3_2yoq97 | t5_2to41 | 4 | woopsracism: TIFU by trying to learn Japanese, ended up looking pretty racist in front of my class
**Mild Fuck Up. Happened a little over a half hr ago.**
Yes this is a throwaway account.
**Background:**
I have two friends in the same class, with the same name. However, we will call them **B** and **A**. **B** is blac... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426105279 | 1426128244 | t3_2ypsym | t5_2to41 | 4 | SkytechCEO: TIFU By attempting to wall run
This happened literally about an hour ago, I was in gym and theres a ramp made out of concrete leading down to a field. On either side there are angled ramps up onto a wall. I tried to run on the wall and ended up like this, just look at it. http://imgur.com/gallery/260Wy/new... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426106544 | 1426175956 | t3_2ypvwz | t5_2to41 | 89 | Lepepino: TIFU by snapchatting my fire breathing penis to everyone
A girl and I are real casual with eachother, like REAL casual. So today I was messing around and did the loch ness monster with my balls, where you lift up the balls and do a kind of pinch and twist with the head raising it above your sac. Well I did th... | 7 | 12.714286 | |
1426107442 | 1426111242 | t3_2ypxzs | t5_2to41 | 13 | copyandpastehere: TIFU by not knowing how to copy and paste correctly
This literally happened 6 minutes ago.
Throwaway because other person is a redditor and knows me.
I was texting this fellow redditor, and wanted to send her [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2yne1o/im_not_the_kid_in_my_family_photo_al... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1426107766 | 1426110362 | t3_2ypyr7 | t5_2to41 | 7 | helpmehappyvalley: TIFU by long-boarding and loving Indian food.
This happened moments ago and I am still shaking about it all.
So quick back story, last year I started long boarding and I fell IN LOVE. In August, there was this hill I wanted to take with a sharp turn. I did not know how to slide yet and thought I cou... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1426108345 | 1426111325 | t3_2yq01m | t5_2to41 | 57 | leohevia18: TIFU by not watching what I was saying
This actually happened last week, but after thinking about it I realized the check my mouth wrote could have been avoided had I just said my words differently.
So the setting of the story is in Washington DC at Catholic University. My girlfriend and I just finished wa... | 11 | 5.181818 | |
1426106405 | 1426120141 | t3_2ypvks | t5_2to41 | 44 | ileftthecondomon: TIFU: I left the condom on after a quickie
Throwaway cause numerous friends know my username.
So, I went to my girlfriends house at lunch to eat. After eating it turned into a lunch quickie. Well, it ended up going a little too long and I was gonna be late getting back to work. So, being in a hurr... | 4 | 11 | |
1426109264 | 1426114830 | t3_2yq22n | t5_2to41 | 25 | ADP_God: TIFU by playing giant frisbee with a table.
So to start off I would like to explain, that this happened on a grassy area at school, and the tabletop was made of plastic, round and about a meter or so in diameter, with the edges bent outwards (like the curvy bits of an actual frisbee) for about two inches. I kn... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1426110063 | 1426134801 | t3_2yq3w8 | t5_2to41 | 126 | BlondeFiction: TIFU by talking to a possible sex offender..
Okay so I am an 18 yr female. I currently have my own apartment in a gated in apartment community. The community is made up of different buildings that each have 3 apartments. I took my dog to the on site dog park this morning and on my way back there was this... | 10 | 12.6 | |
1426109971 | 1426185872 | t3_2yq3pj | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by traveling onto an Army Post with illegal narcotics in my car.
This actually happened about five years ago, but figured it belonged here.
I'm driving to work which just so happens to be on a military post. This particular post was also a huge manufacturer of military arms during WWI and WWII and, as... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1426110226 | 1426176813 | t3_2yq48a | t5_2to41 | 6 | Rowward: TIFU by writing to my old love and discover feelings i cannot have because i am married
Hi. I am 28. I am together with my SO since end of 2007 and we are married for almost 3 years. We also have a son (17 month old). Everything is fine so far in my life.
I got a job that i am very interested in and the payme... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1426109512 | 1426112246 | t3_2yq2nh | t5_2to41 | 10 | lxmzh: TIFU by crushing a midget with a heavyweight gym mat.
So today I had a good day. I had a really good day - until this happened.
My day was nice, wire sculpting in the morning, chemistry before lunch, Shakespeare in the early afternoon... and then came the evening. Every evening at my school, it's compulsory tha... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426111410 | 1426121937 | t3_2yq6u9 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Groanius: TIFU By revealing that I had a virtual porn stash to a Swedish girl
BecauseYNt: Change the folder to hidden an then it can be brought up by searching for it and wont show in folders
follicleEubank: You where good at teenager weren't you
BecauseYNt: u have no idea
follicleEubank: Could i get some tips
Because... | 7 | 1.142857 | |
1426109376 | 1426112554 | t3_2yq2bk | t5_2to41 | 7 | drehmy: TIFU - Today I Made Somebody FU, with my FU.
elfa82: Hi drehmy, thanks for submitting to /r/tifu!
However, your submission, *TIFU - Today I Made Somebody FU, with my FU.*, has been removed because you have violated one of our rules, which can be located in the sidebar.
**RULE 1:** All fuck-ups must be origin... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1426106102 | 1426174383 | t3_2ypuvz | t5_2to41 | 9 | Jump1nJackF1ash: TIFU by asking a disabled man if he can feel his feet
OK so a couple of things first - This happened a little while ago, I used to work in a clothing store and believe it or not, was half decent at the job.
Here's the scene. It's a Saturday in a large shopping centre but its only been an hour or so af... | 7 | 1.285714 | |
1426112622 | 1426198036 | t3_2yq9g2 | t5_2to41 | 9 | unfunnytrowaway: TIFU by volunteering at a Non-profit and being an angry girlfriend
This actually just happened today, though I wish it never had...
I should probably start by saying that I'm a student at Uni majoring in social work and as part of it, I volunteer at a non-profit for women who are victims/survivors of ... | 6 | 1.5 | |
1426113346 | 1426139541 | t3_2yqb1p | t5_2to41 | 11 | South_beastmode: TIFU By making an old, deaf, and disable man apologize
TIFU by kneeing an old man in the leg. I'll admit I'm an a-hole a special kind of a-hole, however I do have sympathy for the unfortunate. Let's get this party started!! So I take my wife to the AT&T theater to see a play for our anniversary. ... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1426114330 | 1426117237 | t3_2yqd6a | t5_2to41 | 29 | SlightlySuave: TIFU by 69-ing my girlfriend
MayDayBayBay: Thank you. Next time my bf wants to suggest 69, i'm just gonna say "no, i dont wanna be a part of a post on TIFU" you really saved me, bro.
SlightlySuave: Glad I could help. I'm just glad my SO doesn't use Reddit so she won't see this haha.
MayDayBayBay: Shes a... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1426114112 | 1426121914 | t3_2yqcqb | t5_2to41 | 9 | topherherb: TIFU by trying to return lost property
Back in undergrad, I was a lab TA for human anatomy. This basically entailed me being a babysitter for students who came in when the professor was not there, answering any questions they may have, and locking up when the building closed for the night. One Friday nigh... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1426111474 | 1426158808 | t3_2yq6z7 | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by not hearing the door open
The_RTV: Why was the screen so bright?
hawkwardbro: She raised the light emission so I could see better because the room was a little dark.
| 3 | 2.333333 | |
1426104237 | 1426195595 | t3_2ypqhb | t5_2to41 | 14 | Liam9999: TIFU by trying to spike a volleyball
So, this happened a couple hours ago and I still feel like shit for it.
During Phys Ed, we were playing volleyball. I'm not the most athletic so I almost never go for the ball. Well today for some reason I felt like showing off by slamming the ball onto the other side. I s... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1426118753 | 1426193449 | t3_2yqldy | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: tifu I had an abortion yesterday, and today my boyfriend broke up with me. I'm too late.
motorcyclinghippy: I think you made the right choice. A child is no more a solution to a problematic life than marriage is a solution to a problematic relationship. You should take advantage of your present situation. G... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1426119284 | 1426129890 | t3_2yqmjr | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by not reading at my job.
A little background, I work in a call center, dealing with health insurance. In my department, we handle issues that aren't in the general documents/scripting that other CSR's use. I work on cases all the time, and generally don't remember any of them. This happened two days ag... | 5 | 0.4 | |
1426120172 | 1426123987 | t3_2yqoeu | t5_2to41 | 27 | anonsoldier: TIFU; by buying Girl Scout cookies.
It was July last year when my wife and I purchased our first home. We were soo excited to be moving on with our lives after college, and starting to build a family. Unfortunately, the asshole neighbors wanted to ensure that this excitement was replaced with a deep burnin... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1426121026 | 1426122746 | t3_2yqq4j | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU By Getting Grounded For The Entire Summer
So this didn't happen today it happened a while ago when I was in 8th grade.
Every day I would come home from school and I'd be home alone for an hour or so until my mom got home. I live in a gated community with a couple of my school friends.
So one day my fr... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426121405 | 1426123930 | t3_2yqqvs | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a feminist joke in class.
My English teacher is a radical feminist that compares everything to feminism and talks about men always oppressing her. So she was telling us to try to look at a book with our, "feminist glasses" on try and get a different perspective so put on my "glasses" and leane... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1426121479 | 1426172049 | t3_2yqr18 | t5_2to41 | 111 | isharemyporn: TIFU by sharing porn with a client
Simicrop: Link the vid.
isharemyporn: http://www.youjizz.com/videos/utterly-sensational--21663061.html
nothing too out of the ordinary
XXHavana: OP delivers. Fuck yeah.
IrregardingGrammar: Wow you could have never found porn otherwise! Close call!
XXHavana: *Sighs loud... | 6 | 18.5 | |
1426119765 | 1426174705 | t3_2yqnkd | t5_2to41 | 14 | qwackmeister: TIFU by trying a romantic dance move with my girlfriend.
I tried to do that move where I dip her, and I dropped and fell on top of her.
TL;DR- Dropped her.
Kanuck_Kyle: Did you have sex
qwackmeister: No. She got mad, and I nearly pissed my pants.
SecretlyASilver: Should have peed on her to asset domina... | 7 | 2 | |
1426121895 | 1426175308 | t3_2yqru3 | t5_2to41 | 3 | FeatherMerchant: Tifu by getting kicked out of class.
Need to vent so I'll be fast.
Professor doesn't like me. Midterms were today. I commute an hour to get to class, and this was my only class of the day. I walk in, he's in a bad mood. Test is handed out.
I get up to sharpen my pencil. He says,
"You need to sit dow... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1426122377 | 1426170331 | t3_2yqsuz | t5_2to41 | 8 | Gryff99: TIFU By making a weeaboo joke in class.
4Treez: Hate speech is a little much, but come on guy. You didn't even try to be academic about it. But I guess it's stupid to try to be funny making fun of people in a paper, even if you aren't so crass about it.
Gryff99: Oh no, I definitely sited evidence on why they'... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1426122558 | 1426135000 | t3_2yqt8k | t5_2to41 | 6 | CubeThePenguin: TIFU by pissing off the girl I liked.
said something wrong to a girl and she's mad at me. I'm so fucking stupid sometimes.
idamnedit: Would she have preferred you pissed on her? What did you say that was so bad? Did you ask her what her vagina looked like? Did you ask her if it resembled a loose meat sa... | 3 | 2 | |
1426122728 | 1426144277 | t3_2yqtkd | t5_2to41 | 56 | bradenwade: TIFU by running into my backyard in my undies while making strange noises
This happened just 30 minutes ago. I am a grown 27 year old man who sometimes acts childish and weird when I interact with my dog. Super baby talk, singing songs in crazy voices, and just plain weird noises is how I greet my pal when... | 3 | 18.666667 | |
1426121607 | 1426124239 | t3_2yqray | t5_2to41 | 9 | polaris1: TIFU by Being Assertive
Welp. This did happen literally an hour ago.
Had a talk with a girl who'd I'd been seeing for the last couple of weeks, we met on tinder but hadn't had sex but have had lots of make outs. Hadn't spoken about liking each other yet, just assumed because of the time we spent together. B... | 3 | 3 | |
1426123279 | 1426134334 | t3_2yquq2 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Skillo131: TIFU by showing my teacher porn
wofford15: Well if it makes you feel better, a good number of the videos on that site start with the situation you just lived.
Skillo131: That put the worst picture in my mind..
wofford15: Well then I'm guessing she's not the young, attractive teacher at your school?
Skillo1... | 6 | 4.166667 | |
1426123510 | 1426163950 | t3_2yqv7f | t5_2to41 | 17 | SwagoloDragon: TIFU by criticizing a handicapped person for parking in the handicapped spot.
Today, I was casually walking into the bank, where spots tend to fill up rather quick except for the handicapped spot right out front. As im about to enter, a guy pulls in to the spot and goes to get out of the car.
I looked b... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1426120785 | 1426143572 | t3_2yqpmx | t5_2to41 | 18 | SarcasmIsKey: TIFU by trying to get a job.
Simply put, I need a job, and I happen to go to a university that provides a portal where, as a student, I can easily and quickly apply to a bunch of interesting positions. It is important to note that the jobs I applied for are in the software / CS field. It is also important... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1426119918 | 1426141658 | t3_2yqnvx | t5_2to41 | 11 | Protosega: TIFU by biting an onion.
I wasn't looking and thought it was an apple I grabbed.
Did not expect to get a mouthful of onion on the first bite.
chrisx8x23x95: Its all ogre now.
Hastilygrim: Shrek is Love, Shrek is Life.
| 3 | 3.666667 | |
1426126395 | 1426157135 | t3_2yr0xu | t5_2to41 | 5 | Whotella: TIFU by trying to prove I was over a girl.
This actually happened today, surprisingly. Anyways first some background information, from October to January I had a burning crush for a girl and got really creepy, asked her out, she said no, didn't take it that hard but the footprint stuck because my friends kept... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426125954 | 1426128361 | t3_2yr03s | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with a nick on my dick [NSFW]
Been a lurker on here for awhile now and decided it was time to share this story.
So about a couple months ago, me and this lady friend who I was hooking up with for a couple weeks were hanging out at my place the night before a ski trip. She had driven from ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426126626 | 1426130244 | t3_2yr1dq | t5_2to41 | 65 | codename_rzk: TIFU by sending a nude to my 15 year old brother fml.
Zykium: Do you have a copy of the Facebook cover he made?
codename_rzk: It's just a black and white picture of my mustang from a low angle, I'm on mobile so I'm not sure I can post pics.
FreeHatMcCullough: Mustang is a funny name for a penis.
Secretly... | 5 | 13 | |
1426125613 | 1426197245 | t3_2yqzet | t5_2to41 | 174 | [deleted]: TIFU by using moms new 'tooth paste'
Dear Reddit,
Today I fucked up by using moms new tooth paste. She went to walmart today and told me that she bought me that new tooth paste for sensitive teeth. I went to go brush my teeth and saw a small tube on its back. Thinking that it was the new stuff, with out rea... | 7 | 24.857143 | |
1425751219 | 1426127937 | t3_2y9b17 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Maxmon68: TIFU by not unsubscribing
This happened just now.
So I'm looking to upgrade my PC and for that I need a new processor. I don't exactly have enough cash in my wallet, but I think to myself, no problem, I'll just withdraw some money from my debit card, last I checked there was $100 something dollars on it. I g... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426127942 | 1426132138 | t3_2yr3yt | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by mixing alcohol with self loathing...
It's been a rough couple of months, and I have only myself to blame. Last night in a fit of self loathing I bought a can fruit punch Fourloko and a 40oz King Cobra. My tolerance has lowered substantively over the years, and bars have long been too loud for me. Did... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1426128120 | 1426161970 | t3_2yr4bl | t5_2to41 | 172 | laylala2015: TIFU by causing myself permanent damage after a night of passion NSFW
wife_throw_away: See what happens when you try to give great head?
unnaturalways: the ability to give even better head?
Kevyx0326: Plot twist: OP's BF tore her frenulum on purpose.
mthead911: "his" Check that photo.
edit: nvm!
sheatar... | 9 | 19.111111 | |
1426128529 | 1426140247 | t3_2yr54u | t5_2to41 | 10 | GenericUsername802: TIFU by being asked out and saying yes in the moment.
It all started on a Friday at school when we had an assembly. By random chance, I ended up sitting beside this girl who struck up a conversation with me. Of course, me being the social fuck up I am, I stumbled awkward through the entire conversat... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426128853 | 1426131623 | t3_2yr5rg | t5_2to41 | 48 | Sezniak: TIFU by taking shrooms and going on tinder
This actually happened today and im in the E.R. as im typing this. A buddy of mine sent me a snapchat last night of the most potent shrooms he's ever gotten and said he only had a quarter left. I figured why not; im on spring break, no work today, haven't tripped in a... | 4 | 12 | |
1426128756 | 1426174017 | t3_2yr5kp | t5_2to41 | 16 | solikewhatsupthere: TIFU by trying to clean a cute girl's car
Ok so this happened today and I don't know what to do tomorrow.
There is this really cute girl that I see around the hallways in my high school, I'm too shy to talk to her but now I know I never want to see her again.
I have a break last period of school ... | 4 | 4 | |
1426129687 | 1426130460 | t3_2yr7d3 | t5_2to41 | 80 | Big_Black_Glock: TIFU I watched Netflix with my SO...
FlyLikeABrd: I don't know what to say except...my condolences. And when you find a good therapist let me know.
Big_Black_Glock: No therapy needed, yet.
Johansenburg: Just wait. One day you'll start jacking it or getting it on with your SO, and right at the moment o... | 6 | 13.333333 | |
1426129767 | 1426191620 | t3_2yr7j7 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by having sex with a cut on my johnson [NSFW]
GandalfSwagOff: Continuity errors in this story. Lady friend in the beginning, girlfriend at the end. Nobody who uses the internet is ever awake at 5 AM unless they haven't gone to bed the night before.
Nobody starts by just "thrusting it in missionary" to... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1426128095 | 1426173109 | t3_2yr49q | t5_2to41 | 3 | bcwhit: TIFU by spacing out.
This fuckup happened a while ago, this January.
I am a 17-year-old boy in high school. I am by no means a vulgar person at all. I don't hit on random people or anything that could be considered sexual harassment.
I'm part of my high school's choir. Because we come from an area that is rathe... | 3 | 1 | |
1426131013 | 1426241554 | t3_2yr9ty | t5_2to41 | 6 | impactboi: TIFU By buying the wrong Sim City game
Bought Sim City on a whim during the Steam christmas sale for $20. I haven't been following the franchise all that much, but remembered playing Sim City 2000 as a kid and enjoying it a lot. I thought $20 on sale seems a proper price for a new game on discount and went a... | 3 | 2 | |
1426122308 | 1426157153 | t3_2yqsps | t5_2to41 | 3 | one_ball_in_a_sack: TIFU by calling my mother a chode.
My mom and sister took a girls trip to Disney World. I called them while they were at the airport to wish them well. After the call, I get a text that says "You are so fat." My sister's nickname for me is fatty. My normal response is, "bite me, *insert expletive he... | 3 | 1 | |
1426131473 | 1426131912 | t3_2yramt | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting high and now I can't eat dinner
I used to smoke a lot, but I don't really smoke anymore. Mainly because I am living at my older sisters house at the moment. Anyways, I've been at work all day and haven't eaten anything, so I've been looking forward to eating when I get home. Well, I got a ri... | 3 | 1 | |
1426131933 | 1426178813 | t3_2yrbf6 | t5_2to41 | 377 | someshirtguy: TIFU by sticking a random kids head inside my shirt
So earlier today I was at a museum with my family, and we were all wandering around one of the exhibits. I have a younger brother who is much shorter than me, and I sometimes sneak up behind and put my shirt over his head so that his head is inside, righ... | 5 | 75.4 | |
1426132465 | 1426175687 | t3_2yrcbk | t5_2to41 | 3 | cuntesticles: TIFU by cleaning my cat out like a dick.
Throwing trash out the window as I cruised down the road at 35 mph. Reached down and felt an Arizona iced tea bottle. Didn't want to smash the bottle on the street, what am I am asshole? Waited for a patch of grass and hurled the bottle as hard as I could - straigh... | 3 | 1 | |
1426131895 | 1426136081 | t3_2yrbci | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to shave. (slightly NSFW i guess)
proudjester: Baby powder helps.
Vdruidv: oh yeah i forgot thanks
proudjester: No problem. Don't shave against the grain next time!
Vdruidv: Really i thought you were supposed to?
proudjester: Nah, man. That's for an ultra-close-and-later-regretted shave. Shav... | 7 | 3 | |
1426133463 | 1426167872 | t3_2yre2d | t5_2to41 | 9 | DJAL1190: TIFU by naming the webcomic I make with my mom after porn
I started a webcomic with my mom three months ago. She’s a great artist, so she draws comics while I write them. We spent 20 minutes one night trying to come up with a name. Eventually, my mom suggested “Confetti Cream Pie”. I thought it sounded fine, ... | 3 | 3 | |
1426132958 | 1426134872 | t3_2yrd4v | t5_2to41 | 18 | NintendoDestroyer89: TIFU getting caught with my manhood in a toilet paper roll.
Mikereb: TP roll blumkin. Romantic.
NintendoDestroyer89: That was my immediate thought when we locked eyes.
atthedrivein47: aww man thats messed up
| 4 | 4.5 | |
1426133525 | 1426167432 | t3_2yre6f | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a job off Craigslist from a con artist
I was browsing my local Craigslist in hopes of finding a job ASAP that wasn't in food service. An ad came up for office/ reception work, and the pay was decent. It was located 5 minutes from my house, and in a field that I was interested in. I emailed my ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1426125031 | 1426228209 | t3_2yqy96 | t5_2to41 | 4 | ThePoshCatVanilla: TIFU by waiting too long
So this is my first kind of actual post that is worth something to Reddit. Besides my lurking in some rather... Nice subs, I tend to go onto TIFU and read other people's failures.
This happened a couple months ago bit sound all the way back you sixth grade.
I used to be a ... | 4 | 1 | |
1426134495 | 1426137833 | t3_2yrfr2 | t5_2to41 | 8 | Blackes: TIFU by dodging compulsary national service
Hello friends, I'm currently 26 years old and have spent the last 7 years trying to get myself a medical certificate to which i did. I am now working as a nurse in a hospital in Australia and because of a loophole, I found that I could write a medical document that ... | 4 | 2 | |
1426134129 | 1426136362 | t3_2yrf6y | t5_2to41 | 14 | wontimeicountedtwoat: TIFU by stealing a mentally disabled kid's pants.
Ok so this happened over 20 years ago when I was in high school.
I was a tad small for my age, not entirely bullied but physically I was inferior to all the other boys my age. This would change later but I was a bit of a late bloomer. Certainl... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1426132766 | 1426170035 | t3_2yrct2 | t5_2to41 | 3,633 | jessehclark: TIFU by buying a cell phone on Craigslist
This story actually happened about 6 years ago. My sincerest apologies for the length of this story, as I am verbose and often include too many details. But I think reddit might enjoy this.
It was a sunny warm Sunday and I had been hunting for the recently releas... | 11 | 330.272727 | |
1426135806 | 1426165659 | t3_2yrhsz | t5_2to41 | 4 | TRUSTBUTVER1FI: TIFU by falling down the stairs naked.
Not really a long story but yeah that happened.
I was stepping over the new health insurance card I recently got [irony] which was sitting on one of my stairs from the bedroom and tried to step over the card but missed the step because of that. I was heading down... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426133511 | 1426155295 | t3_2yre5s | t5_2to41 | 19 | TheGodOfHwat: TIFU by getting on Whisper and revealing myself to someone
I met this girl, and I really don't know how the conversation got started. Long story short we were in each others DM's. Maybe I should specify Whisper is basically a very toned down confessional side of Reddit, with pictures. Anyway, she asks me ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1426136029 | 1426137935 | t3_2yri5q | t5_2to41 | 9 | Broadsword117: TIFU by being accused of being a drug dealer
SO unlike a lot of posts, this actually happened today. As in like 4 hours ago. But it does have some roots from last year. So nearing the end of year 12 ('straya) my friends number expired and I was texting him and wondering why he wasn't replying. So a few w... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1426136381 | 1426199975 | t3_2yriow | t5_2to41 | 4 | themulletwearsprada: TIFU by getting fired.
So, I work in the tourist infested central Florida at a chicken food chain restaurant. So, its about 9 p.m and we close at 10, and last minute like 30 of these Canadian guys come in and i have to be overly polite because that's how we treat our guest and turns our they have a... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1426137434 | 1426171925 | t3_2yrk8d | t5_2to41 | 47 | WhenInJaco: TIFU by asking a girl for a blowjob
syncop8ion: Loud club -hard to hear -strong accent...That's when the "nod and say yes" rule comes in.
killercillian: This has saved me so many times
thematabot: I do this in my every day life. Makes things awkward. Like I don't give a shit.
| 4 | 11.75 | |
1426133246 | 1426138113 | t3_2yrdos | t5_2to41 | 5 | city_fox: Tifu by being painfully shy
I read a story here about some poor sap that brushed his teeth with lube by accedent and it reminded me of a similar story of mine. I had just moved in with my boyfriend, and after a great sex filled day we both went into the bathroom to wash up. Most of my stuff was still in lugga... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426141162 | 1426186824 | t3_2yrp8t | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by working too hard.
Two fuck ups in one day.
So my job has been really flat out non-stop lately, over the past 2 weeks i've been leaving work between 7.30pm and 8.30pm totally exhausted and run down. This generally means waking up slightly earlier to get a head start, however it doesn't seem to be eff... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1426140832 | 1426168789 | t3_2yroue | t5_2to41 | 3 | Chocolate2890: TIFU By Splitting my chin.
This happened many years ago. i was on my bike on the deck and got angry because my coat got caught on it. i decided to push it down the stairs. i fell, bashed my chin, my parents took me to the hospital, got 6 stitches. TLDR: Pushed bike down stairs when coat got caught, got 6... | 3 | 1 | |
1426142780 | 1426144822 | t3_2yrr8g | t5_2to41 | 22 | jelacey: TIFU by trusting the cat.
This was a few days ago but it's officially fucked up.
My girlfriend and I were working at home and I put a glass of water on the top shelf above my TV, for some reason. I even came in later and saw it and wondered to myself if the cat would do that, but decided no, no she wouldn't.... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1426142180 | 1426188303 | t3_2yrqia | t5_2to41 | 173 | 22theTBox: TIFU by misunderstanding a Marine Corps Drill Instructor
large-farva: OP why did you delete the story it was fucking hilarious!
22theTBox: I didn't? It's up to me? The mods must have and put it back I guess?
large-farva: that's weird, it still looks deleted to me...
http://imgur.com/oI5Veem
22theTBox: Tho... | 7 | 24.714286 | |
1426139621 | 1426186880 | t3_2yrn7m | t5_2to41 | 10 | Hallow_Eve: TIFU by taking a shot of Fire Cider.
This actually happened today, though I really wish it didn't.
To start the story off, I was hanging out at my boyfriend's house and we were eating pizza while watching some videos on youtube. His mom called from the kitchen telling me to come there, with uncontrollable ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426136237 | 1426189073 | t3_2yrihi | t5_2to41 | 10 | Chrysaliarus: TIFU By Having Porn on My iPod
TIFU: this story isn't actually from today but it was about 3 years ago. I was still in high school at the time and I was a teenager (still am tbh) so of course I'm going to have some porn lying around. This happened all during my Language Arts class and hell I'm still embar... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426145638 | 1426145978 | t3_2yrucx | t5_2to41 | 3 | Alice_desu: TIFU by leaving my pants on NSFW
evjunginger: Hot baths usually don't feel very good on scrapes. Not the best decision on your part.
Alice_desu: Hence the TIFU haha
| 3 | 1 | |
1426147148 | 1426287461 | t3_2yrvw2 | t5_2to41 | 207 | krhsg: TIFU by cooking shepherd's pie
I live alone. It was midnight (so literally 40 minutes ago as I type this on my phone). I decided to make shepherd's pie, because yum.
I prep all my ingredients before I start cooking. Pans out and ready, pie plate (I prefer glass) waiting for the delicious meat and carrot and oni... | 10 | 20.7 | |
1426148264 | 1426206275 | t3_2yrx0u | t5_2to41 | 2 | Kohonski: TIFU By not knowing how Korean toilets work
YodelingEinstein: > That could have been my butthole :((
Isn't that the whole point?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet
Kohonski: Fair point! But like, I've never used one ever. And I couldn't read anything on the toilet. So it would've been an unwanted surpr... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1426149942 | 1426155354 | t3_2yryoj | t5_2to41 | 15 | NikeBangheart: TIFU by throwing my humans a party.
dolomiten: I have the suspicion that you aren't a cat...
NikeBangheart: You are not incorrect. My cat, Lulu, came up to me the other day and said "Meow meow meow" which basically translates into "Hey Nike...sorry about the streamer thing. No one wants a party thrown f... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1426144698 | 1426172819 | t3_2yrtde | t5_2to41 | 6 | philmtl: Tifu: by taking a 3 am poop
AccReddited_Dealer: I live in South Africa and travel to the US twice a year for a total of about 6 months for work and 9/10 of my dumps clog the toilet, it's like the plunger is a necessary part of every shit. Back home I can't even remember the last time I clogged the toilet and... | 3 | 2 | |
1426150303 | 1426191013 | t3_2yryzm | t5_2to41 | 78 | JustaRaggaeShark: TIFU by talking about my SO's cousin while she had my gentleman parts in her hand.
We were just chatting while my SO held my dingdong in her hands. She commented something about her attractive cousin and while I was talking about her cousin my parts swelled up.
I tried to explain it was bad timing, b... | 6 | 13 | |
1426151391 | 1432510678 | t3_2ys048 | t5_2to41 | 11 | Sephidos: TIFU in front of my dad and his friends
This didn't happen today, and it isn't as exciting as everyone else's fuck ups, but I thought I'd share it anyway.
About 3 years ago, my dad had some friends over for supper. Keep in mind, all of them love music and are quite up to date with artists long past. ANYWA... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1426155873 | 1426157368 | t3_2ys4jh | t5_2to41 | 15 | flippinnottrippin: TIFU by putting my finger up my butt
Jason_Anaminus: You have been nominated for Darvin awards. Congratulations!
flippinnottrippin: Do you mean Darwin?
capt_clark: I think he means to purchase you a [Beautiful New Bedroom Set!](http://www.darvin.com/)
Most transcend anal fixation without so muc... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1426156678 | 1426171811 | t3_2ys5co | t5_2to41 | 7 | Guatever-Dude: TIFU thought coworker was on vacation i was dead wrong.
TIFU coworker came to work today after not having worked a shift with him i joke with him hey how was your vacation i haven't seen you in 2 weeks pat him on the back he just said with a slight laugh "something like that" another coworker's eyes are ... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1426145091 | 1426162306 | t3_2yrtqr | t5_2to41 | 5 | helloimpaul1000: TIFU by sleep walking.
So Reddit today I fucked up. It happened just a few minutes ago actually. So every morning one of my parents wakes me up to take a shower. Well I take a shower get dressed eat and wait for my friend to pick me up. Well I happen to sleepwalk sometimes, and today my body decided I ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426158591 | 1426257769 | t3_2ys7iq | t5_2to41 | 20 | lapis-lazuli: TIFU by being an asshole and texting in class
When I started college, one of the greatest novelties to me was that in most classrooms of over 30 people, professors don't really care if you text in class. Well, in my college experience, I've taken advantage of this more times than I'd care to admit. Today,... | 4 | 5 |
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