start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1426872341 | 1426876808 | t3_2zpx22 | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU; By showing my bosses wife my dick.
So I work at a restaurant as a sous chef.
And of course I don't really turn up in my chef uniform, I normally just get changed in the staff room.
It cant be locked so usually I wear shorts over my boxers (which are always briefs.) As not to embarrass anyone.
But to... | 4 | 5 | |
1426873131 | 1426902569 | t3_2zpyr8 | t5_2to41 | 192 | ducksandgoats: TIFU by receiving a condom.
This happened a few months ago, but it was very embarrassing, so I thought I'd share it with you.
In weekends I work as a bouncer, and one week before this incident I was standing outside the club, and a customer that I know briefly, walks past me to get inside. When he passe... | 7 | 27.428571 | |
1426873541 | 1426888194 | t3_2zpzp0 | t5_2to41 | 162 | chparmley: TIFU by bringing a random home from the bar
So rewinding to about 10:30 last night...
I'd been at the local bar with some friends for a few hours already and was having a great time playing pool. I notice this cute blonde girl (let's call her Lacey) sitting at the bar alone watching hockey. I go up to her b... | 8 | 20.25 | |
1426873172 | 1426888241 | t3_2zpyuj | t5_2to41 | 7 | HubblesHabaneros: TIFU by NOT hiding my Extremely HOT chilli powder from my wife
I went for a bath last night. While I was in the bath my wife proceeded to prank me by sticking a load of my own HOT chilli powder to the inside of my underwear with a glue stick. Not only that but she poured all the milk away as she knew ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1426872942 | 1426909584 | t3_2zpyce | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by stealing a sign and pretending to apologize
In the back car park at my school there is a sign that reads "Visitor and Student Parking". It is an A4 plaque on a wooden post. One day me and my friend decide it would be hilarious to move the sign into one of the school buildings. It was loose in the gro... | 13 | 2.384615 | |
1426873229 | 1426875456 | t3_2zpyzn | t5_2to41 | 16 | Razorshroud: TIFU by checking my son's shirt
Happened just 15 minutes ago. My son is sick with a super contagious stomach virus that everyone seems to be getting. Symptoms include fever, vomiting, and explosive diarrhea.
Anyway I just blew through 3 absolutely full diapers and 2 full outfits in the period of one hou... | 5 | 3.2 | |
1426873341 | 1426874714 | t3_2zpz91 | t5_2to41 | 6 | loweje2: TIFU by making a comment about the snow
So this just happened and I am incredibly embarrassed. I want to start out by saying I literally just started a new job in New York which is also my first job out of college. I was coming back from the ladies room when I casually made a comment about the snow to my new m... | 3 | 2 | |
1426874122 | 1426905499 | t3_2zq0yn | t5_2to41 | 6 | HaydenHank: TIFU: By failing to get off the chair lift at the ski hill I work at!
So today started off as most of my days off from the hill do, wake up have breakfast and head up to the hill about 30 mins after lifts have opened. Well today as I was ridding up one of the lifts, I dropped my gloves on the run(Thought ab... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1426874148 | 1426875639 | t3_2zq110 | t5_2to41 | 4 | musicluvah1981: TIFU by putting info in a forwarded meeting invite I didn't think people would see
I put my opinion in a email invite that I was forwarding to another coworker. Something along the lines of "there's no way we should do that, it's a terrible idea".
I just got an email from the organizer of the meeting ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426874444 | 1426946944 | t3_2zq1pd | t5_2to41 | 4 | ICantBelieveIDids: TIFU by Calling A Kid Hitler
Not very good at poetry, but let's do this.
I Forgot My Glasses
Had Morning Classes
Looked Like A Fuck
When I Called For Hitler
Silence.
It Actually Said Hiller,
Today, I Fucked Up.
jimthenerd: hitler, why cant it be something like obama
disambiguated: > hi... | 4 | 1 | |
1426875162 | 1426876046 | t3_2zq3au | t5_2to41 | 10 | dato_1321: TIFU by eating too much after hemorrhoids surgery
i was starving for 4 days. and as soon as my doctor said i could eat some fruit and fiber i ate two big bowls of oakmeal, 5 bananas and 4 apple.
now i can't shit and I'm full either with gas or shit.
;tsiu: op is like blowed frog.
(don't remember what you... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1426870916 | 1426876711 | t3_2zpu00 | t5_2to41 | 3 | roadies: TIFU by losing my health insurance.
Some backstory: last august I had a job change and a move to a new state. We thought our budget would allow the lease we optioned for. We were wrong. (Que the /r/ynab suggestions...I'm not unaware.) Now we are locked in to a lease we can't afford until August.
It is a small... | 3 | 1 | |
1426876524 | 1426951234 | t3_2zq69o | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching too much Naughty America
This thing happened 2 years ago. I applied for a post in Adobe. So i was there for the interview. So after few questions, The guy asked me
"What is the tagline of Adobe.?". I answered "NO ONE DOES IT BETTER". I didn't even realize that instead of "Better by Adobe" ... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1426874863 | 1426960734 | t3_2zq2ma | t5_2to41 | 41 | AshCat94: TIFU by taking night time cold medicine and melatonin.
My fuck up happened last night. So I had been feeling crappy all day yesterday. I couldn't decide if I just had awful allergies or a common cold. So I took Nyquil, thinking that would help. Well, then twenty minutes later I forgot I had taken it, and deci... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1426877970 | 1426878654 | t3_2zq9bn | t5_2to41 | 10 | Sj69kimtfiu: TIFU by facing my anxiety and speaking up in class...
so I have terrible social anxiety, and I've been reading for months of people saying force yourself and 'just do it', after months, I finally summed up the courage to do it, to speak up and talk, I was so tired of seeing other happy with their social li... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426877468 | 1426879268 | t3_2zq8a6 | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU - I SHAT MY PANTS
yupp..... just wanted to share.
Have a better day than me!
softshellcrabby: I think it goes without saying that we need a far more colorful and adjective-rich account of what happened here.
Prepare_To_Be_Woo-ed: Well done. I've never seen rule 2 stated so eloquently.
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426878189 | 1426879778 | t3_2zq9sn | t5_2to41 | 5 | AurumLupus: TIFU by sharpening a knife without cut resistant gloves
So, today i managed to almost cut my finger off with a Kukri...look it up if you don't know what it is there is this wonderful thing called the internet, and search engines. Anyways, I was using a 3000 grit arkansas whetstone, just re-honing the edge, ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426873248 | 1426887830 | t3_2zpz1a | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU Kitten edition: TIFU by contributing to the destruction of my favorite toy
Today I decided to try something different. I decided I was going to pin down my servant forcing him to rub behind my ears as long as I want. My servant sat down on the couch and I decided now was time to act. I jumped up on his ... | 3 | 8 | |
1426876392 | 1426953261 | t3_2zq5zh | t5_2to41 | 3 | Mynewthrowawaye: TIFU by downloading Linux
So this happened a few weeks ago but whatever. So one day I decide I want to run Linux on my Mac, I go through the process, download reFIND and all that. I download Ubuntu. Here's where it goes wrong. I decide it would be a good idea to run this from my backup hard drive. Afte... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1426867032 | 1426881053 | t3_2zplko | t5_2to41 | 38 | shouldhavekeptquiet: TIFU trying to convince an AV idol of her true beauty....
So I recently moved to JP for work. I met a few people through work and finally decided to go out for some Friday night drinks with them. We left work at 6:00 today and started drinking heavy at 6:30 (lol)
Being a White Irish guy I quic... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1426879391 | 1426879924 | t3_2zqccb | t5_2to41 | -2 | [deleted]: TIFU: By having an erection near my best friends wife.
So my best friends name is Dakota, we've known each other since 5th grade. I'm 17 now and he recently got married to a 'scuse me, HOT girl named Sabrina Walter. Dakota is 19, when we were in high school we were considered the most attractive emo boys in ... | 3 | -0.666667 | |
1426878562 | 1426880169 | t3_2zqak8 | t5_2to41 | 8 | thepancake36: TIFU by getting accused of academic dishonesty
I am a high school senior finishing up his last semester.
I am in Spanish 5 with a teacher I have had for two years now. She is a great teacher, one of the ones who actually cares about students. It seems like she understands that being seniors we don't real... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1426880116 | 1426956382 | t3_2zqdyb | t5_2to41 | 285 | tifu_throwaway24: TIFU by smiling at a little girl at Starbucks.
This happened just now. To preface, I am 24 years old and I have *no* pedophilic tendencies whatsoever; I find that sort of stuff repulsive. Anyway, I'm sitting here at Starbucks at an individual table working on my laptop like I always do. A little girl ... | 7 | 40.714286 | |
1426878771 | 1426900895 | t3_2zqb02 | t5_2to41 | 12 | throwayayad: TIFU by badmouthing an employee
This happened a long time ago:
One night at my job (a lawn care company, where I was the head of a crew), I forgot that I'd be giving a third person a ride home. At the time it was a usual occurrence for me to drive my one employee, Matt, home, since his car had been totale... | 3 | 4 | |
1426881187 | 1426920730 | t3_2zqg5j | t5_2to41 | 5 | dragon_fart_balls: TIFU by putting too much red pepper flakes on my noddles
This happened around 10 minutes ago. I like spicy food so I put some red pepper flakes on my noodles like usual. I put too much and now it feels like Satan shat in my mouth
jakethesnake741: I'm just picturing someone putting pepper flakes on t... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426878871 | 1426882020 | t3_2zqb7s | t5_2to41 | 44 | NotDonCheadle: TIFU by Making a Joke at Dinner
So, I'm pretty much a dumbass. I make a handful of inappropriate jokes that only I think are clever, but 99.999% of times those jokes are made only amongst close friends. Anyway, last night I was out at dinner with my girlfriend of five years and her seven-year old son. I ... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1426879380 | 1426882522 | t3_2zqcbc | t5_2to41 | 3 | ldonthaveaname: TIFU by eating the chicken my friend send was cool to eat.
What I didn't realize was (thanks weed!) the text was from the night prior and I haven't been home in 24 hours and so it was left out and I'm probably going to die. RIP me :(
(It was out for almost 24 hours to the minute based on the text)
Ser... | 3 | 1 | |
1426882531 | 1426925162 | t3_2zqj0o | t5_2to41 | 7 | Smubii: TIFU by letting someone merge in front of me on the highway.
Backstory: I was late to work the other day. About an hour late. I'm pretty paranoid about my alarm not going off and waking me up, so I always triple check my alarm, as well as my alarm volume on my phone. I always make sure my phone cant fall off th... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1426872330 | 1426926756 | t3_2zpx15 | t5_2to41 | 4 | RenaKunisaki: TIFU by making my mother cry.
So recently my mother's younger sister - let's call her Lisa - suffered a fatal heart attack in her sleep. My mother of course was devastated.
While we're preparing to attend the funeral, my mom is digging up the contact information of relatives who live in the area, to arra... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426882460 | 1426883565 | t3_2zqiv4 | t5_2to41 | 14 | johnnybstupid: Tifu by keep condoms in my car.
So my girlfriend of 5 years and I are about to get it on and I go to the bathroom to get a condom but I'm fresh out. But then I remember I have a couple condoms in my car glove compartment. See, my buddy, like a year ago started selling a new type of flavored condoms and h... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1426882575 | 1426891429 | t3_2zqj3s | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting a friend go back with a girl who had a gf
Like most TIFU this is from a year ago. At the time I was single and my friend had a gf. We went out to a bar near my house and got drunk, we were dancing with 2 girls and brought them back to my place. The one i was talking to had to leave to "pic... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1426883985 | 1426888258 | t3_2zqm2q | t5_2to41 | 7 | Zrowawayy: TIFU by not making a move and regretting it for months.
I was outside with a girl I have a huge crush on. She said something about being cold and I said "Why don't you just go inside?". I have thought about that moment since it happened. I could have offered her my coat, ANYTHING WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1426885240 | 1426944366 | t3_2zqory | t5_2to41 | 680 | mergenjergen: TIFU by imitating a disabled girl.
There's a couple of things I'd like to lay down first. I'm a really nice person. I pick up hitch-hikers and invite Jehovah's Witnesses in for some cake and a nice friendly chat about Atheism. I am, at most times, genuinely concerned about everyone around me. I'm the kind... | 9 | 75.555556 | |
1426884863 | 1426907711 | t3_2zqnz3 | t5_2to41 | 140 | gdtrfb12: TIFU by letting a tourist sucker punch me.
So, I live in Bali, and me and my friends were hanging out, monkeying around when here comes this pasty white dude and his girlfriend. She had what appeared to be skittles in her hair. Candy attracts bugs, bugs attract spiders (I fucking hate spiders, but love skittl... | 4 | 35 | |
1426877882 | 1426940937 | t3_2zq95d | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking a mystery shot.
Twas just about a decade ago, as most TIFU's go. It was a nice summer evening, and my hook-up of the time period, her friend, and I were watching some Californiacation in her parent's basement. As most teenagers do, we decide to raid the liquor cabinet and get a bit loose. Some... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1426883911 | 1426891396 | t3_2zqlwq | t5_2to41 | 5 | LittleMouseTurds: TIFU by having feelings for another guy
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now. I have never been happier in my life and I love him. However, I've started to notice myself developing feelings for one of my best friends. This made me feel extremely guilty, and since our relationship i... | 5 | 1 | |
1426885906 | 1426886225 | t3_2zqq4r | t5_2to41 | 36 | CapnGibbens: TIFU Saying my friend's tits are too big
Today I got a text from my friend who was bra shopping. The first thing she texts me is "Apparently 34DDD Bras are a thing". I reply saying that's kinda big in a gross way (I was thinking they were bigger like those fake ones some pornstars have). It ends up being t... | 3 | 12 | |
1426887699 | 1426971811 | t3_2zqtp9 | t5_2to41 | 296 | wtf_was_I_thinkin: TIFU by having a girl come over on the first date.
Tried out the online dating thing. Started talking to this cute girl and decided to meet up with her. She suggests we stay in and order food and play mario kart...sweet, cant complain.
She comes over, is attractive but right away I get a weird vib... | 7 | 42.285714 | |
1426882372 | 1426900789 | t3_2zqiol | t5_2to41 | 5 | that_hippie: TIFU by accusing my co-workers of stealing my shoes
I have a standing desk at work, but I also have a stool to sit on, and I put it under my desk to keep it out of the way when I'm not using it. While I was sitting on the stool, I kicked off my flip-flops, like I usually do. At some point I decided to stan... | 5 | 1 | |
1426883034 | 1426915884 | t3_2zqk2g | t5_2to41 | 10 | FadingToGray: TIFU by hiding in a wheelie bin.
Yesterday at about 10 o'clock at night i was outside playing spotlight with some family friend's children. The first round I was searching and while I was searching I found the perfect hiding spot, a big wheelie bin. I found every and now it was my turn to hide. I quickly ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426888437 | 1426893307 | t3_2zqv8f | t5_2to41 | 17 | weurdcoinkydink: TIFU by saying my work mates daughters name sounded like a strippers
Having lunch with a guy who sits beside me at work and a few others from my team. This guy brought his daughters pink disney lunchbox in as she wanted to have his for the day. I didn't recognize any of the characters on it so I ask hi... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1426888506 | 1426898860 | t3_2zqvdp | t5_2to41 | 12 | Gaandum: TIFU by not going to school on the coolest day ever
Today I randomly decided not to go to school, as I am in my senior year not much really happens, but today my Geography teacher tripped on the stairs and broke his arm, my friends who take the same bus I do casually met the cousin of a friend of ours who is l... | 3 | 4 | |
1426888915 | 1426972477 | t3_2zqw7s | t5_2to41 | 74 | Swiftdeus: TIFU by being nice to the girl at Quiznos.
As is tradition, this fuck up did not occur today. This happened about a month ago at the brand new Quiznos outside my gym.
A little about myself, I am a 27 year old male, try to be smooth but end up being socially awkward, 6'3 decent looking guy.
So I was a Quiz... | 6 | 12.333333 | |
1426889972 | 1426912443 | t3_2zqya1 | t5_2to41 | 9 | poetic_pancake: TIFU by smoking weed for the first time
This happened yesterday. So one of my friends asked me if I wanted to try weed this week end. I wanted to try for a long time so I said yes.
Technically, it was my second time. I've tried it last week but got no effects from it, so I tried again this week end.
T... | 3 | 3 | |
1426891011 | 1426928663 | t3_2zr0c7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | MSinBC: TIFU by accepting a donation from terrorists
This happened yesterday, so I thought today would be a good day to post this.
So I am raising some funds for a charity event, with online donating being an option for those wanting to help. After posting on facebook, other social media, and talking to my friends, fa... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1426891281 | 1426896452 | t3_2zr0ul | t5_2to41 | 7 | OttawEnt: TIFU by bowling...high
Like most stories, this was not today, but only a few weeks ago.
My friends had decided that they would like to go bowling, and I used to bowl as a kid in a league, so I obviously wanted to join. Now, I'm not a very social person and I find that alcohol doesn't make me any more social ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1426886091 | 1426983093 | t3_2zqqhp | t5_2to41 | 273 | Teal2289: TIFU by manually keeping my car's high-beams on.
Last night while driving up a dark mountain road at night with friends I was getting really tired. So I thought to myself out loud "There really needs to be a way to keep the 'brights' on with out having to hold the turn signal back." My girlfriend, and all my ... | 7 | 39 | |
1426892512 | 1426899783 | t3_2zr3at | t5_2to41 | 14 | FallenXxRaven: TIFU by charging my poi.
[These are poi](http://www.flowtoys.com/skin/imgs/pod-lineup.jpeg). One of mine stopped working so I mailed them in for a fix, and charged them before I sent them.
They're USB charge, so I took my flash drive out to get to both USB slots on my laptop, and put my flash drive dow... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1426891876 | 1426898947 | t3_2zr221 | t5_2to41 | 25 | Rytwalk: TIFU in bed... hum
Today i was in bed and farted in the belly of my gf and it sounded like a shot, I hope she didn't feel the smelly
Sorry for bad englando, not my first tongue
Amon_Amarth_: Wat
Brunteguess: Wat
PerplexedCow: Tom Cruise
| 4 | 6.25 | |
1426891069 | 1426909993 | t3_2zr0g3 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally cheering at a girl who was stuck at the top of the rock wall at my gym.
Story: The gym at my school is two stories and has a rock climbing wall that starts on the first floor and goes all the way to the top. Here's a [picture](http://ad009cdnb.archdaily.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/134... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1426893998 | 1426894574 | t3_2zr66a | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by chewing big red gum.
Like most, this happened about 4 years ago. It all started out with me and my now ex girlfriend. We had been dating for about three years, on and off, and i got tired of her ways so we ended up splitting up and eventually becoming friends with benefits. This is where it all went ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1426894195 | 1426911361 | t3_2zr6jw | t5_2to41 | 128 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a good friend.
So my buddy has a girl he has been talking to for about a month now and she invites him over...but there is a catch...her best friend was over there...so him not wanting to have a 3rd Wheel he suggests bringing me to keep her busy while he tries his luck at having sexy time. So I... | 9 | 14.222222 | |
1426894785 | 1426903670 | t3_2zr7nn | t5_2to41 | 5 | AreWeUsingPhrasing: TIFU by being crunk for my sisters birthday at Six Flags
Well I'm actually the sister telling the story but anyways. For my birthday, I decided to go to Six Flags. My brother inclined that I should take some drugs before we go. I declined due to the fact that my older sister would be there and she w... | 9 | 0.555556 | |
1426895887 | 1426925495 | t3_2zr9o0 | t5_2to41 | 9 | cheezerdoodle: TIFU by sharting in my GF's underpants
This happened a couple weeks ago. I had just finished a nice dinner date with a girl in which we ate tartare and sashimi and other raw stuff. I was feeling fine the entire evening, but post-coitus I'm lying in her bed and I feel a fart coming on. She's asleep, so I ... | 3 | 3 | |
1426895160 | 1427296114 | t3_2zr8bv | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by waiting
it's friday
i'm sober
i goto a party
i get drunk
i spot a hot girl from my class
i'd love to talk to said girl
she's sitting alone
instead of talking to hear i go outside for a little while
i come back in
i see her leaving
i cry inside but keep partying
i leave
i goto reddit when ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426896217 | 1426897150 | t3_2zrac8 | t5_2to41 | 8 | badtimingbear: TIFU by watching a spider being born in the shower.
So I was showering this morning, and during my usual routine of shampoo, face wash, conditioner, body wash, privates and rinse, I see a long legs spider in the corner of the ceiling. This is nothing out of the ordinary, but I usually wait until I'm out ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1426895966 | 1426910253 | t3_2zr9t8 | t5_2to41 | 4 | BetaCowSSP: TIFU by Yelling at a Blind Kid
So my friend has the tendency to kick my heels whenever I'm walking around the hallways of my school. It was before homeroom, and I was heading to my classroom after a measly half hour of sleep when something started hitting the back of my feet.
At first I ignored it because ... | 4 | 1 | |
1426896824 | 1426907141 | t3_2zrbgj | t5_2to41 | 7 | worker5555: TIFU by throwing skittles in my 10 year old cousins face.
I want to start off by saying i was not in the right in this situation, and i acted out of anger. Secondly, i want to make it clear that my cousin was raised by a abusive father and a rug ( walk all over ) mother. If he is not swearing at his mot... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1426898073 | 1427236844 | t3_2zrdr9 | t5_2to41 | 53 | SirPerfluace: TIFU I put being on a TV show before a dieing friend. it didn't go well and he died. Udate
its yesterday not today but at this point i don't care..... back story. my closest friend has been slowly fading away through pancreatic cancer, he died today. I have and invention that was going to be featured on ... | 9 | 5.888889 | |
1426898384 | 1426898505 | t3_2zreb2 | t5_2to41 | 13 | 2Throwaway6me: TIFU By opening my uncle's Chrome app up
Okay so this didnt happen today, but yesterday.
Okay so my uncle gives me 25 dollars a day to work on his website for his business, and its been going on for 2 years now, no problem whatsoever
Until today...
He asks me to go on his tablet and check out a websit... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1426898182 | 1426976189 | t3_2zrdya | t5_2to41 | 33 | ArolWright: TIFU by dripping hot coffee on my ex-gf face
So, here's a quick introduction to my story. On school, I had a girlfriend, and we've been together for like, 3 years, until a week ago. And there's this batshit crazy girl who has a serious crush on me. She tried to humilliate me on public several times so I end... | 10 | 3.3 | |
1426898406 | 1426898828 | t3_2zrecc | t5_2to41 | 5 | tonz0phun: TIFU by sending a group text to coworkers
"Steve is weird man. He came behind my desk and loudly said "what's up my cousin?!" fairly certain he tried to say "what's up cuz" but messed it up. Why would one white dude awkwardly say that to another awkward white dude? Dude is odd..."
The offending text message... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426898748 | 1426942815 | t3_2zreyu | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by overestimating myself....
During the day I am a teacher, and during the night I am a server at a popular restaurant in Miami. Today, I had a family come in with the mom, dad, older sister (4), and new baby (less than 1). In our restaurant we have these huge heavy white plates we serve food on, and th... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1426897135 | 1426911330 | t3_2zrc0t | t5_2to41 | 24 | apostle13: TIFU by letting friends and family see pictures of my asshole.
Long story short... Got a colonoscopy Tuesday for the first time. As a prize, you get copies of the pictures they take. Diagnosed with nothing worse than roids, I put the papers down on my table and forgot all about it. Fast forward to two hours ... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1426899739 | 1427361964 | t3_2zrepz | t5_2to41 | 7 | Bacon_Nipples: Was not feces but rather a mucus-like substance. She eats normal food but is just very lazy and will often try to hide when it's time to go outside.
shonuph: Time to go outside?
You make her go outside to do what?
Bacon_Nipples: To not be inside?
shonuph: Inside is where a cat is safe. If you love her, ... | 6 | 1.166667 | |
1426899610 | 1426901101 | t3_2zrggl | t5_2to41 | 7 | NILL_ALL_THE_KIGGERS: TIFU by calling my male boss ma'am.
So I work at a huge nursery in the shop, part of my responsabilities is taking care of our trucks and trailers.
So today I was on the phone speaking with the lady from our tire service company, and I use a bluetooth because who can grab their phone every five ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1426898000 | 1427073403 | t3_2zrdn4 | t5_2to41 | 93 | RoshHashanah: TIFU by sending my English teacher an explicit love letter
In grade 10 I had this really awesome English teacher. She was really nice and funny and neat and kind of crazy and awkward and really mean sometimes. But all of this added up to her being exactly like me. We really hit it off. She pretty much hat... | 6 | 15.5 | |
1426897834 | 1426945587 | t3_2zrdbk | t5_2to41 | 138 | j0sh77: TIFU by playing footsie with a random guy
This happened a few hours ago. I was working on a program in the CS computer lab. The desks in the lab are in 2x2 blocks with two screens facing one way, and two the opposite way. This program was stressing me the out the last few days, so, naturally, my feet were fidge... | 4 | 34.5 | |
1426897728 | 1427019289 | t3_2zrd4w | t5_2to41 | 8 | JH1010: TIFU by drinking six pints of Coca-Cola
So it's 25 past 12 and I feel more alert than ever because there's so much caffeine surging round my system. I have to get up at 8 am tomorrow (which is technically today since it's past midnight) but there's no chance of that happening unless I go to sleep soon. The way ... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1426899515 | 1426973321 | t3_2zrgaw | t5_2to41 | 12 | somethingclever1990: TIFU by not talking to Buzz Aldrin
So today I was at work for spaceX integrating parts onto a falcon 9 and what not. I went to go fill my water bottle with some delicious iced tea. When I was walking aimlessly down the hallway wearing a giant red button that said rocket scientist. I thought he look... | 3 | 4 | |
1426901163 | 1426924363 | t3_2zrj2q | t5_2to41 | 780 | nifkinten: Tifu by masturbating in my own home
Not today but roughly ten years ago in high school. I'm sitting in my living room about midnight or so and my parents had been in bed for quite sometime so I decided to get myself into a little porn action. Other than myself and parents my sister's troubled boyfriend had b... | 6 | 130 | |
1426902038 | 1426933742 | t3_2zrkk5 | t5_2to41 | 17 | KeithTheToaster: TIFU by lying during a blowjob
Told girlfriend I was filming it when I was really watching girl on girl Asian porn. Got caught. She didn't let me finish.
inixte: OP, you're a piece of shit
KeithTheToaster: In my defense.....
I_HAVE_THAT_FETISH: No Op, that was not alright.
You could have just paper ba... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1426902998 | 1426914849 | t3_2zrm6f | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating before going to bed
My wife goes to bed and falls asleep. I figure I will masturbate before going to bed, which I do. I do it downstairs while I pretend to do some work on my computer. I come back and crawl into bed.
My wife wakes up, and starts snuggling. I think she will fall back asl... | 3 | 12 | |
1426901848 | 1427129966 | t3_2zrk9b | t5_2to41 | 10 | lettingeveryonedown: TIFU by pretending I go to college.
I've been out of college for a year now. My parents are filing taxes and they need a form that I've been paying for school and since I don't attend I don't have one. They need it ASAP or risk being audited by the IRS.
jsveiga: Outstanding FU.
Were they sending ... | 5 | 2 | |
1426903032 | 1426918553 | t3_2zrm8h | t5_2to41 | 16 | I_Done_Fucked: TIFU by eating cake
I would like to state I know nothing about weddings, or really anything for that matter
Alright this happened literally like an hour ago. I had to go to a wedding with my parents. The wedding was for someone they barely even knew, but they forced me to go despite my begging of not wa... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1426901900 | 1426908559 | t3_2zrkcd | t5_2to41 | 7 | TestUsernameIgnore: TIFU by inadvertently supporting child abuse . . .
I'm an attorney, and like all good attorney's I go attend these meet and greets with other attorneys and Judges. Being young (graduated law school 3 years ago) I don't know that many people in the legal community.
So, I'm having a beer, trying to ... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1426903816 | 1426907480 | t3_2zrnkp | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by confessing the first time in my life
Wasn't today but yesterday. So I am sitting in my AP class just chilling doing some work because we have a sub I decide to check my phone and to my surprise I see some messages saying "Hey baby, I see you, I love you" As of right now I send back "wtf, wut" freakin... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1426903779 | 1426908698 | t3_2zrni5 | t5_2to41 | 6 | notaverysmartdog: TIFU by downloading XSplit Gamercast
today, i downloaded xsplit, a game recording program, to do some stuff with war thunder. it fucking sucked, and i decided to uninstall it. it won't fucking uninstall. so i bid thee caution, never download xsplit unless you want something you never use taking up s... | 7 | 0.857143 | |
1426903713 | 1426917449 | t3_2zrndr | t5_2to41 | 4 | Arksaw: TIFU by making my dad take a finger up the ass without the pride of his progeny.
Allow me to set the scene for you, my kind audience.
The year is 2008 and I'm in 7th grade. I play the Tenor Saxophone, and while I'm not the best, everyone else sucks. This is my second year in the school jazz-band, and my first ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426904802 | 1426968074 | t3_2zrp8u | t5_2to41 | 6 | Mzthaman: TIFU by spamming X
14 hours down the drain, because I overloaded my save.
http://i.imgur.com/Y0379jF.jpg
TL;DR: I overloaded my save. :(
redditmode: I don't get it. How does it overload?
Mzthaman: Started new game played 30 mins, went to save, spammed X, it choose my latest save which had over 14 hours on ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1426902496 | 1426932733 | t3_2zrlcy | t5_2to41 | 38 | Maytagg1034: TIFU by having IBS and pooping in someone's front yard...
Last night I fucked up when I was downtown watching a Play with my gf. I have IBS and we just had sushi. (It's friday... hopefully this is considered the weekend.... because there is some defecation)
So, once the play starts, you cant really go to ... | 4 | 9.5 | |
1426904918 | 1426921950 | t3_2zrpfb | t5_2to41 | 130 | emerald_summer17: TIFU by mentioning my pets at work
This fuck up actually happened today. For background, I am a Certified Nursing Assistant (also know as a professional ass cleaner) at my local hospital. I get to meet all sorts of interesting people, most of whom I get along with pretty well.
This afternoon, I come... | 4 | 32.5 | |
1426904744 | 1426906224 | t3_2zrp55 | t5_2to41 | 5 | futuriztik: Tifu by congratulating an obese, Native American man for exercising.
Guess what? This shit happened today.
Ok... So I live right across the street from a very large LDS church (Utah). This church has a significantly large grass lawn in the front of it with lots of huge trees, covering it in shade; so natur... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1426903852 | 1426927022 | t3_2zrnmu | t5_2to41 | 3 | pm_me_nudes_or_feet: TIFU by being an annoying friend.
In the tradition to most of these things, this happened last year. So I have a friend who has some sort of condition (I don't know the name) that makes her faint at the slightest bit of dehydration. At the time I didn't know that.
So we were derping around like no... | 3 | 1 | |
1426904567 | 1426907314 | t3_2zrotv | t5_2to41 | 42 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting wet
So while I type this, I'm in the car surrounded by pieces of tissue papers and my wet jacket. I'm also waiting for my friends to come back with McDonalds.
Today was supposed to be a fun little get together like any other. After a few hours of walking aimlessly in the mall (I dont favor t... | 3 | 14 | |
1426906431 | 1426907127 | t3_2zrrw1 | t5_2to41 | 8 | AmalRafeeq: TIFU by not locking my apartment room.
Shit, I feel like shit as I write this.
It felt like it's gonna be a good day for sure. I live in an apartment, alone. (I'm kinda loving it).
I rushed to college today morning since I had some assignment works to copy. And I just reached our department of journalism a... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1426906776 | 1426911328 | t3_2zrsh0 | t5_2to41 | 8 | XPLusN: TIFU facebook stalking my classmates
I sometimes look up my classmates on facebook. I couldn't sleep one night so i went on a stalking spree. I went through the entire list for my class. 15 out of 28 of the remaining students had facebook accounts, including the Professor. I eventually pass out and hours later ... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1426906957 | 1426951705 | t3_2zrssm | t5_2to41 | 181 | AnnFrankHides: Tifu by telling a deaf girl she had a beautiful accent
My girlfriend is an event planner and had a pretty big event tonight. I decided to go along and help out and sell tickets at the front. So im just selling tickets chatting people up and doing my thing. This lady comes up and starts talking to me. I h... | 5 | 36.2 | |
1426907561 | 1426907749 | t3_2zrtrx | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by using an accidental big dick as a wallpaper
Years ago, I decided to download a bunch (as in 1000+) of artistic photos and put on a folder, and i have an internet trigger to fetch more pictures (from sites like 500px, deviantart and some others) and put in said folder. I also set windows to change the... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1426902256 | 1426959642 | t3_2zrkya | t5_2to41 | 213 | metallicbadger: TIFU by confronting a trespasser while armed.
This happened earlier today. No cops showed up so I figured it was safe to post at this point.
So today my dogs were acting out of control and growling at something alongside my house. I figured it was the horses whose pen is next to the dogs and who usuall... | 11 | 19.363636 | |
1426907252 | 1426954810 | t3_2zrta4 | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU - by being cheap and scarring little girls
This is my first ever post. Please bare with me, this is really long. (This is NSFW, not sure how to tag it though!)
Hi guys. This happened about 3 months ago.
A bit of a back story, i run track and field, and train at a facility where young up and coming Ol... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1426907940 | 1426908259 | t3_2zrubx | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU Ruined a Perfect Day
My day started too good to be true. I had Taco Bell for breakfast before clocking in. A friendly co-worker went an extra mile for me to have another co-worker go to her car and let me have a lighter to smoke a cigarette, before clocking in. All of my relations and interactions with ... | 3 | 1 | |
1426908716 | 1427000545 | t3_2zrvhu | t5_2to41 | 1,126 | prettysureImscrewedd: TIFU by jerking off on my baby monitor (NSFW)
So a little back story. We have a 4 camera Motorola baby monitor. We have 2 downstairs and 1 in our bedroom and 1 in our baby's room.
My wife is out of town on business so I have a nanny watching our son. My wife found some cute college girl who wa... | 11 | 102.363636 | |
1426908654 | 1426911892 | t3_2zrveb | t5_2to41 | 12 | IntimidatingKoala: TIFU by telling my old boss to take her 16 yr. old daughter to the SF "bath houses".
It is my birthday today so the obligatory birthday wishes rolled in on FB. I feel obliged to reply to each one and say thank you. One is from my old boss who wished me happy birthday and mentioned she would be visiti... | 3 | 4 | |
1426902340 | 1426927431 | t3_2zrl3n | t5_2to41 | 3 | godsgiftbacon: TIFU by 'showering'
Just as a preface, this would have been fine, but due to circumstances that aligned, much like the recent eclipse, I feel worse than any other time in my life. Including that one time I stabbed a girl with a pen when I was 8.
Anyway. Recently, I've been trying to shower twice a day f... | 3 | 1 | |
1426906413 | 1426920229 | t3_2zrrv7 | t5_2to41 | 5 | Vatillo51: Tifu: by going out with my best friend's girlfriend of over a year
This is my first post, and this FU happened around 2 years ago
My best friend(O) of 4 years was going out with a girl(D). They had begun to have issues after the year mark and I wanted to listen to both sides of the story, and somehow I let ... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1426909143 | 1426910650 | t3_2zrw4u | t5_2to41 | 2 | kitterpup: TIFU By getting Subway when I was still tired [Minor NSFW content]
Like every other story here, this didn't happen today it was a month or so ago but it was still pretty embarrassing so you guys will probably get a kick out of it. You need a bit of background knowledge for this to make any sense, so here it ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1426909423 | 1426993519 | t3_2zrwjy | t5_2to41 | 10 | pubemuncher: TIFU by wiping my shitty asshole.
During my lunch break today I ate the most delicious grilled turkey sandwhich with extra mayo and cheese. Fucking amazing. After a long day at work I got home and took a long awaited poo... I had to shit so bad I could barely stand up.
So I finally get to the bathroom and ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1426910180 | 1427021299 | t3_2zrxnl | t5_2to41 | 7,496 | [deleted]: TIFU by bringing the wrong pen to class
So I brought [this pen](http://i.imgur.com/pnhHYL4.jpg) to class. That is all
pm_me_your_silver: First one to spot the "nip" gets gold.
wgeist1: Above the word "Review" as seen through the hole punch out.
whicketywack: A nip slip.
braintrustinc: http://i.imgur.com/RQ2... | 13 | 576.615385 | |
1426910231 | 1426912055 | t3_2zrxpz | t5_2to41 | 15 | WinnerAndLoser: TIFU by relapsing into my latent gambling problem, and possibly ruining my life for good.
Two years ago I got into Bitcoin, and started trading, then gambling with it. I turned $6k into almost half a million. Then lost it all.
Here is the [original AMA](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1ch7wb/start... | 4 | 3.75 |
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