start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1368296406 | 1368401224 | null | t5_2to41 | 497 | Djcalied: TIFU, cut my nipple shaving
Simply doing some manscaping on the chest in the shower, noticed this weird black hair sorta by my nipple (I'm blond), so engage full retard mode I swipe over the hair real quick and.... BLOOD LITERALLY LACTATES OUT OF MY NIPPLE. I start saying oh fuck oh fuck... Then the delayed s... | 10 | 49.7 | |
1368294486 | 1368386808 | null | t5_2to41 | 149 | ruesinkj: TIFU by drinking a bottle of Jack and peeing on my wife's laptop.
I'll keep it short, I went to a bonfire at a friends house last night. Got a ride home and passed out on the couch. I woke up to my wife screaming at me, saying her computer was covered in piss. I feel like a worthless human right now. Of all t... | 10 | 14.9 | |
1368299297 | 1368307507 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | BunsofthePatriots: TIFU by farting at work
Well okay, it wasn't today it was back in August and could use some back story. The day of my birthday I had my girlfriend and friends take me to Luxe Burger in Providence RI to attempt the 6 pound Frankenstein challenge so I could get a T-shirt. I ate all 6 pounds of food, di... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1368296851 | 1368353626 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | kevmaster2000: TIFU by being a huge dopey klutz, and not thinking ahead.
This morning I woke up in a pretty good mood, despite my mild hangover from last night's festivities. Then I:
• accidentally knocked over and destroyed a large, mostly un-drunk bottle of relatively nice liquor I had just purchased last night.
• ... | 3 | 23 | |
1368228282 | 1368386543 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | dancing_raptor_jesus: TIFU by posting an image I had made on a SubReddit, forgetting that some of my classmates might recognise it and post a link to said picture on facebook.
I posted a picture of a building I had made, forgetting that maybe one or two of my friends might frequent that board. I wake up after doing an ... | 8 | 0.875 | |
1368319332 | 1368328596 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by asking my friend out to the dance.
First of all, let me tell you the scenario. Note: I'm not trying to make myself sound cool, I'm describing myself. I'm 13, never had a girlfriend (or asked a girl out), was socially awkward but broke out of my shell this year (now a little less awkward), and was tha... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1368318985 | 1368403587 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | herdsman54: TIFU by eating a mashed potato bowl
It's finals week and on Tuesday evening, I needed to eat something quickly before a study session so I went with a mashed potato bowl consisting of corn, mashed potatoes, bacon bits, cheese, and pieces of fried , boneless chicken which were exceptionally large. I devoured... | 3 | 4 | |
1368324276 | 1368421001 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by fucking my crush
Settle in and grab some popcorn because this story is outrageous! [P.S, I meant to post this yesterday.]
Ok so I have a crush on this on this girl he name is Amy (f 23) and she has boyfriend. I've been texting every single day now for the past 3 months. She and I have become very cl... | 10 | 2.4 | |
1368344598 | 1368348512 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | shortversionisthis: TIFU by blacking out whilst meeting my long distance SO's friends for the first time
So yeah... I will probably delete this when I sober up but fuck you and your stupid karma anyway, reddit. I feel like a major fucking asshole right now. My boyfriend is in the military and I just met his squad today... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1368347259 | 1368390880 | null | t5_2to41 | 420 | Illpackallama: TIFU by having a dream
So to start the story when I was a child I used to occasionally have dreams that were so intense that I couldn't tell if they were real or not. Tonight, I had one of those dreams again.
Going to bed tonight seemed like any other night. I bushed my teeth, cuddle time with the wife ... | 6 | 70 | |
1368348027 | 1368358316 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | pikls: TIFU (my sister did) by being uncoordinated/ignorant/stupid. Twice.
First post, so here goes...
Let me start by saying how much I hate when my sister has friends over. She's in those pre-teen years where she has to look invincible in front of her friends. Slightly unrelated, but today she had a friend over, and... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1368374062 | 1368412896 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | InedibleShit: TIFU at lunch
Lunch started out normal, sitting with my friends eating the excuse for food they serve at schools. I'm having a chicken patty sandwich and fries so I have loads of ketchup on my tray. I start telling a story and get super into it making wild hand gestures and such. One of the gestures ends ... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1368380258 | 1368428594 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,891 | [deleted]: TIFU and burned down my house..
Simple story really, 100 year old house, ancient wiring and fuse box caused big problems, so I was running a generator for the basics while I did the upgrade. Friday night I came home and, as not to waste fuel, I had simply left when the generator ran out and came back about 1... | 7 | 413 | |
1368381530 | 1368723476 | null | t5_2to41 | 98 | [deleted]: TIFU, I used IcyHot then changed my tampon then bring on the shower misadventures.....
The First Fuck up.
Due to a car wreck where I hydroplaned across three lanes of traffic into a brick wall, my shoulder is perma-fucked up. Oddly enough this is exacerbated by the angle my shoulder is put while i am seated... | 4 | 24.5 | |
1368382453 | 1368411473 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | prussianiron: T(hree and a half days ago)IFU by getting high and breaking up with my girlfriend
I dun fucked up guys.
I've only tried weed once before, and I didn't feel it at all, so I haven't had it since. But the other night I drove someone home from work and he asked if I wanted to smoke with him, and I had some ... | 11 | 0.363636 | |
1368389593 | 1368394500 | null | t5_2to41 | 109 | 5secondstozerotime: TIFU by bringing sodium into a lunchroom.
Well sodium is an alkali metal, which means it's on the very left of the periodic table. Why does this matter? Due to it's low amount of valence electrons, it's very reactive- with water. So being the curious science person I am, I got a TINY piece (about th... | 6 | 18.166667 | |
1368398740 | 1368560512 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | corpeezy: TIFU by breaking my femur the weekend before I was supposed to get surgery on my femur
A few weeks ago on a Sunday, I had spent the entire weekend mentally preparing myself for a surgical procedure that I've waited for the last few months. The surgical procedure (which was that following Tuesday) was to remo... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1368400787 | 1368411090 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU by inhaling hot ash and puking on someones shoes...
Today while driving I was having a cigarette and failed to ash soon enough. A gust of wind came through my cracked window and blew the excessively large bit of hot ash in my mouth and directly on my uvula/ back of my throat.
Slightly panicked and gag... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1368403564 | 1368461307 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | MustBeThrownAway: TIFU by being ridiculously oblivious
Girl at work dropped these major hints and I'm too oblivious to realise until now.
1. *Friend to me:* "Girl x asked if you were single and then said 'interesting' when she found out you were"
2. *Me to group:* "I haven't been to watch a film in ages." *Girl to me... | 3 | 5 | |
1368407138 | 1368459287 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by being the worst son in the world
so today was the worst mothers day. I woke up and got out of bed to see my mom watching tv in the living room, being half awake, mothers day was not on my mind at the moment. I sat down, said hi and left for the bathroom and then my room again to play video games. An ... | 3 | 9 | |
1368376485 | 1368473318 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | paconbancakes: TIFU by breaking bad news to my mom on mother's day.
Because I've been so caught up this week in trying to clean my mess, I didn't even get a chance to get my folks a proper anniversary gift. Not to mention, it's Mother's day today and I still didn't get a chance to get my mom anything because I've been ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1368397992 | 1368636360 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | AncientPsychicTandem: TIFU and broke a window in my car.
Last night actually, but I was driving back from a friends house after drinking a few beers and shooting the shit. Stopped off for a late night gyro and began the hour long trek back to my house.
Round about halfway through the drive I had to pee really bad, lik... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1368420677 | 1368557351 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | PlayForMeeps: TIFU by underestimating the strength of my painkillers
So Idk where to begin here but yesterday I started to develop a sore throat. Didn't really seem like a big deal til this morning when I woke up feeling super shitty, looked at my throat and there are a few white bumps which probably means strep. My mo... | 5 | 12 | |
1368414909 | 1368445657 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | blacksg: TIFU and am never going back to a certain Starbuck's within a Stop and Shop again...
So I was working today and went to go get me and my manager coffees at a Starbuck's within a Stop and Shop. Go to the Starbuck's, all is good, get my managers coffee, a small hot black, and mine, small iced, then go around the... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1368240257 | 1368463196 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | beencounter: TIFU by parking
So i'm visiting my bro at his place. It's an apartment complex. He's on an end unit. In between his unit and the last unit is this little fire lane. Prime place to park if it wasn't a fire lane. There is no guest parking. Usually I visit over the weekend, but this time I came out last night... | 3 | 3 | |
1368457055 | 1368547761 | null | t5_2to41 | 286 | vinylwrec-cord: TIFU by not reading a gym contract carefully enough.
Really this was like 3 months ago, but here goes. For Christmas I got a three month membership to the local UXL, I wanted a personal trainer as I know nothing about working out. I work with a woman whose daughter is a trainer there and I wanted to tra... | 11 | 26 | |
1368462134 | 1368491172 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,395 | Rasteb: TIFU and ate a cookie I found in my bag.
My parents are giving me a ride home from college today and I packed a small drawstring bag the week before of shit I would need in the car, snacks/bottle of water, shit to play with, book about led zeeplin ("when giants walked the earth"so far pretty good and recommend ... | 9 | 155 | |
1368463266 | 1368560010 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | BrawndoTTM: TIFU petting a Yorkie tied up outside a store
I'm fucking 25 and know not to pet strange dogs. Why the fuck can I never get it through my head that just because something is tiny and adorable does not mean that it won't bite me? Those little bastards have teeth like miniature steak knives.
JuicyJayPSU: I ra... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1368470364 | 1368505076 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | p00petrator: TIFU and shat myself. And then some.
This is probably a common occurence here but somehow I need to get this out of my system (haha). Be warned - the following is a very detailed and graphic description of the events.
So I usually don't drink coffee, last night I had two. Combined with the binge drinking ... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1368472838 | 1368561519 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | DALhsabneb: TIFU by asking a girl if she was sticking her belly out on a photograph...
She wasn't.
spankthepunkpink: maybe she's pregnant? should probably ask her.....
CovingtonLane: No. Never mention a pregnancy unless she brings it up.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1368476057 | 1368560679 | null | t5_2to41 | 270 | SoulCoughing97: TIFU by not going to the weight room and ruining my aunt's funeral.
This fuck up didn't happen today, about a week or so ago. But I need to spill. (No pun intended)
Well, I'm a *really* scrawny guy. I'm like 5 foot something and 120 lbs. I had been meaning to go to my local gym's weight room for months... | 6 | 45 | |
1368489694 | 1368507625 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by simultaneously ruining 2 games of beer pong
So I was at my dorm and we were having a beer pong tournament. We have 2 10-cup games going on side by side, and I'm already pretty drunk. Not sloppy drunk, but honestly im so uncoordinated that any drunk is sloppy drunk, even if my faculties are intact. So... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1368408365 | 1368504093 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | sambop94: TIFU by siphoning gas from my motorcycle
So I woke up this morning and I decided that I wanted empty out my motorcycles gas tank and put some new fuel into it. I haven't ran the thing in close to a year so it made sense (in my head). I gathered a small gas tank and I cut up some hose and went at it. I put the... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1368494270 | 1368507848 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | ohboytifu: TIFU when I got caught by my exwife for cheating on her with my gf, after I got caught by my gf for cheating on her with my exwife
My girlfriend is 23, good looking, smart girl who loves sex. My exwife is an unnattracive 27y/o with an evil attitude and a vicious relationship history.
This morning before I ... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1368496941 | 1368533276 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | crispychicken49: TIFU by talking
A little backstory. My girlfriend and I had a happy relationship up until a few weeks ago. That's when this guy came in and started playing games with her. (Internet)
After that we barely talked on the phone, or hung out. The only contact was through school. A week ago I asked her why,... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1368501852 | 1368555466 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by using shimmering lotion. I'm a guy.
No crazy story. I just walked around looking like a faggot for the day. Everyone kept calling me "OP," whatever that means.
ssjkriccolo: Cool story, bro.
Leg_Mcmuffin: Thanks, girl.
ssjkriccolo: No problem, guy.
| 4 | 1.5 | |
1368531330 | 1368580385 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | Sarahsweets: TIFU by drinking half the bottle of my mum's expensive Chanel perfume.
Uhmm, so I woke up (kind of) and zombie walked to the washroom, Where my genius mother had left her perfume in the medicine cabinet in her hurry to get out on time this morning. So my hand instinctively reaches to the spot where my mout... | 6 | 9 | |
1368503999 | 1368561923 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | carvener: I showed the hiring manager my business card...
jennerality: Yeah, unfortunately it's generally never really a good idea to give out business cards to interviewers. Better luck next time.
Drslappybags: You could have cards made up that are just for interviews. Name, number, email.
Mindtaker: Please don't do ... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1368541235 | 1368568970 | null | t5_2to41 | 341 | [deleted]: TIFU and killed a dog.
I'll start by saying that I am a dog person, dog lover etc. I would never want to hurt a dog or see a dog being hurt in any way.
I went to the store for some munchies, while walking through the parking lot I saw a dog inside a car without any windows open. It was semi-hot out, not ... | 13 | 26.230769 | |
1368543501 | 1369626339 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,921 | penguinsalad: TIFU by making my mom look like a porn addict
Yesterday afternoon, my mom told me that she needed my laptop tomorrow (today) morning to work because hers was broken. Later that night, I was watching porn. I usually open a lot of tabs of porn videos, and do other things while they buffer so I don't have to... | 12 | 160.083333 | |
1368551459 | 1368563011 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU and dislocated my thumb in a fight
Hello again, I have once again fucked up!
So, I am in this group. I'm not gonna mention the name for security reasons, but we like to wrestle eachother... Very harsh wrestling...
With punching involved.
So, I'm fighting member #2.
I lunge at him and he grabs ... | 12 | 1.916667 | |
1368552671 | 1369170745 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | Bookake: TIFU by cussing out kindergardeners.
I live right by an elemantary school and the children walk by my back wall every day on their way to school.
I woke up to the sound of my dog barking (biggest pain in the ass). I went to go Rambo on her while debating if jail time was worth killing my dog and not having t... | 10 | 5 | |
1368555563 | 1368557813 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | E-Nig-ma: TIFU by masturbating on the bus
Shit.
You know when you get an idea, and you just REALLY want to do it
I did
I had a wank. On a fucking bus.
I'm an idiot.
I didn't get caught and probably won't. but I feel wrong and dirty, and wrong and all sorts of bad
urgh
whatsadrum: what kind of bus? a public one... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1368557596 | 1368623695 | null | t5_2to41 | 138 | bdof: TIFU because I thought I was special
I thought I was different. Thought I was immune. I thought, "no, that could never happen to *me*." Now I'm sitting in front of my desk at work. I'm afraid to stand up. And pretty soon someone is going to smell it.
TIFU, **you never prepared me for this.**
reseph: >... | 5 | 27.6 | |
1368577611 | 1368730243 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | zakkain: TIFU by leaving the stove on for an HOUR with a pot of boiling eggs on it
So I turned the burner on high, put a pot with some eggs in it on the stove, and walked away. Didn't set a timer. Started watching _Armageddon_, keeping an eye on the progress bar to mark the time. I forgot about the eggs when Bruce Will... | 6 | 7.833333 | |
1368581006 | 1368679580 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | prussianiron: TIFUpdate: TIFU by getting high and breaking up with my girlfriend
Picking up where the last thread left off, well, I can tell you it hasn't ended happily.
Her friend, Autumn, told me that she really, really hated me. I was extremely upset and depressed by that thought, so I called her on sunday night an... | 6 | 4.833333 | |
1368578413 | 1368644161 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | thesandman99: TIFU by not going to the doctor sooner
So I have had these spots on the tip of my dick for quite a while now (close to a year) and never really thought anything of it because the last (and sadly first) time i had intercourse was around 5 years ago and even then i used a condom. So i was in the doctor toda... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1368583310 | 1368584836 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | LearningToWrite2: TIFU by not being bold.
19 year old male here, I went to the beach today between classes by myself. While at the beach, these three cute girl come and set up their towels right in front of me. The one in the middle is particularly cute. Dirty blonde hair with an amazing body and a cute flower tattoo o... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1368576620 | 1368649937 | null | t5_2to41 | 126 | skemp311: TIFU by flipping somebody off after they cut me off in traffic, and finding out he is my new nextdoor neighbor.
A flip off followed by a FUCK YOU through an open car window. We both apologized at home and talked for an hour about other stuff.
412East34: If you apologized, he forgave you, and you are now casua... | 5 | 25.2 | |
1368589440 | 1368728841 | null | t5_2to41 | 252 | [deleted]: Today I fucked up, tomorrow I'll shit myself.
So I don't take a lot of medicine. I just don't bother most the time but today I had a really bad headache. So I went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed the box labeled "Generic headache Medicine" I popped three from the foil packet and swallowed them. I went to... | 6 | 42 | |
1368608271 | 1368650208 | t3_1ecvlw | t5_2to41 | 19 | ssjkriccolo: "Retarded" is perfectly acceptable, you homo.
Moonreaver: You're retarded, you closet case
ssjkriccolo: No, you! You selfish cun--try music loving woman...
Moonreaver: I'll swallow your soul!
| 4 | 4.75 | |
1368599469 | 1368803534 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | HaydenTheFox: TIFU by not washing my dirty windshield.
This happened the other night while driving to meet up with my friends for a night of hookah and Cards Against Humanity.
So, backstory. I drive an '89 Cherokee, and given my 6'3" stature, the extreme left side of the windshield is a bit difficult to see out of som... | 6 | 6 | |
1368602476 | 1368820241 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting painfully bad, drunk, toothy oral sex at my friend's party and staining the couch with blood and vaginal secretions.
Yeah, pretty much what it says in the title.
I guess technically it was yseterday.
...Sorry guys.
sellyberry: Toothy o.O
UpnotDown: Wonder what was used, cuspids or molars?
| 3 | 4 | |
1368625590 | 1368642490 | null | t5_2to41 | 161 | takingthepissouttaya: TIFU by pissing on my apartment floor
Happened this morning.
I went out for a little while, and realized I had to pee. Bad. So I figure, "Oh, I'll be good til I get home". This was true. But what happened after was not. I open my door and start to make my way in and realize I am not gonna make th... | 6 | 26.833333 | |
1368636977 | 1368712587 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,104 | lilninos2: TIFU by running over a baby bunny on a mower, in front of a bunch of special needs kids.
Edit: [The baby bunny that I thought I saved]
(http://imgur.com/lwn1RlJ)\
**Edit2: Adding the story**
"So I was cutting grass at work around the play structures when I see a baby rabbit running around on the ground. I ... | 12 | 175.333333 | |
1368637186 | 1368658884 | null | t5_2to41 | 279 | nixpuss: TIFU by Smelling like Bigfoot's Dick
I had a little gas brewing so I let it go. I thought it would be a quiet one, they usually are. But no no, this wasn't a quiet one, it echoed and thundered through the room for everyone to hear. Now the 3 prissy, uptight ladies I work with won't say a word to me. My brothe... | 11 | 25.363636 | |
1368640010 | 1368718774 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | cshaxercs: TIFI by taking way too much “J3cked” [almost died]
watchout5: Shit bro glad you're alive, shit sounds like crack.
cshaxercs: Thanks! I had worse accidents then this (I'm pretty reckless), but this was by-far one of the more embarassing ones...
CompactedPrism: Worse? How are you not dead yet.
cshaxercs: Bro... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1368640848 | 1368714066 | null | t5_2to41 | 148 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to help mom with internet
Mostly it's my mom here who fucked up and not me but here's the story anyways.
So, I'm in my room, listening to music and playing GTA4 (alone), when I hear my mom calling me. Because I'm trying to be a good daughter, I pause the game and go see what's up this time. M... | 6 | 24.666667 | |
1368638236 | 1368658158 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | 271828182: TIFU by going to the dog park
So this morning my wife needed to take her car into the shop before work. I followed her there and took her to work. I had errands to run today so it was convenient time since I was already out of the house.
I had the dog with me, as I normally do if I am just running around t... | 7 | 3.571429 | |
1368641356 | 1368729414 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by referencing Hitchhiker's Guide
>Be me in math class
>Be on the internet too much
>Teacher rants about how we always bitch when numbers are not "beautiful round integers" and that "there is no ideal, there is no ideal person and there is no ideal number!"
>I mumble something along the l... | 5 | 4 | |
1368646524 | 1368788642 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | alexmunse: TIFU at the gas station
I've owned my 2004 Volkswagen Passat TDI for about a year. It's been giving me some engine trouble recently, so I got some fuel additive and decided to fill up before topping it off with the additive. I was hoping to save money on a mechanic visit. I got about $30 into my mid grade fi... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1368644969 | 1368666580 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | xXQueef: TIFU by being awkward in the men's room.
(Throwaway account because it's kinda gross.)
So today I was touring the campus of a school I've been accepted in to. I was supposed to meet a counselor at 11, but I was early. Thankfully I had a shit to take; great way to pass the time.
It's finals week so the camp... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1368651320 | 1368751428 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | Tr0L7_D0L7: TIFU by not stopping my friend from chucking a golf ball at a innocent squirrel
Me and my friend both golf. We were sitting in a golf cart next to a tee box and my friend points to a squirrel grazing on some grass in the middle of the tee box and says "you think I can hit it?" The squirrel was about 8 to 10... | 9 | 3.333333 | |
1368656527 | 1368798995 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | Newbified: TIFU by super gluing classmates zippers together, ripping his bag open, and losing 20 bucks for his new backpack.
I did it for shits and giggles. Not worth 20 dollars.
Pichus_Wrath: That's not a fuckup, you're just a jackass.
Newbified: I fucked up by being a jackass, jackass.
sgt_roflman: I jacked up by fu... | 7 | 1.142857 | |
1368656876 | 1368741350 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Skarablood: TIFU by scratching a few resistors off my motherboard.
My graphics card died and had to be replaced. Loosening the screws on the back side of the case was easy, but then my brain farted for the first time and I tried to pull open the plastic leaver that holds the card on the other side of the PCI slot. It w... | 7 | 3.571429 | |
1368660913 | 1368669280 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | [deleted]: TIFU by passing gas in the lunch line.
So at school today, i was in the lunch line when the urge just hit. I waited until the line started moving and then just crop-dusted away. A genius plan, right? It was untraceable. Then i hear something going on behind me. Two jocks get up and both are saying stuff alon... | 3 | 20.333333 | |
1368665448 | 1368781639 | null | t5_2to41 | 219 | TenthSpeedWriter: TIFU by imagining myself to be my grandmother's equal
Backstory: My grandmother is an old school southern chef. She has long since achieved some sort of crazy kitchen zen that I can't begin to fathom.
One of her talents I've always found fascinating is an intuitive sense for how long and in what way ... | 8 | 27.375 | |
1368659949 | 1368824015 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | whmpnhappy1: throwing my iphone out in the desert
it was thanksgiving last year and I went riding on my quad.
Long story short, I broke down miles from the house and when I called my husband he didn't answer. Not his personal or work phone.
Mind you I was a little inebriated and got so pissed off I threw my phone.....n... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1368662842 | 1368696103 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | knuckleduster05: TIFU and got wet without a towel
I am soaking my foot to get rid of some callous skin and immediately after putting my foot in a bowl of water I realized that I do not have a towel, and I will need to go to the bathroom soon because it is cold.
Teshinator: I misinterpreted the title when you said "wet"... | 3 | 1 | |
1368671652 | 1368677901 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | esdanol: TIFU: I tore my foreskin having sex with my girlfriend NSFW
so I finally got to see my girlfriend again after a month and a half (we have a long distance relationship) and we've been talking about having sex for a while. I have phimosis though which means my foreskin is really tight. I've been planning on seei... | 6 | 5.5 | |
1368682441 | 1368704961 | t3_1ef8fq | t5_2to41 | 5 | masterstick8: Do you know its a straight female? I checked OPs history and I doubt a straight female would make a post in mens fashion advice, but to each their own right?
[deleted]: Why could a female not post in MFA? Which gender is stereotypically more inclined to be interested in fashion? My GF has more interest in... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1368669253 | 1368681063 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | TechnoL33T: TIFU locking myself out of the apartment.
I was doing laundry and I wanted to wash all my pants, so I changed into some pajama pants. I realized I forgot to bring down the laundry detergent, so I went back up for it. It wasn't until I got to the door that I realized I also forgot the key. Shit.
I had to wa... | 7 | 2 | |
1368687687 | 1369096977 | null | t5_2to41 | 246 | fareastcoast: TIFU by using lime Gatorade in an ice pack...
I hurt my ankle earlier playing basketball so when I got home I grabbed a Lime yellow Gatorade, a bag full of ice cubes to wrap to my ankle, and headed upstairs to elevate it. I didn't use crushed ice and needed to even out the ice pack, but my ankle was fuck... | 7 | 35.142857 | |
1368666748 | 1368728216 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by relating to a movie.....
I watched Iron Man 3 and when Tony breaks down and has a weird anxiety attack in the scene at the bar, I completely related to the randomness and feeling of an anxiety attack.....now i won't watch the any more of the movie
I_am_chris_dorner: At least it wasn't A Serbian Film.... | 3 | 2 | |
1368667464 | 1368710745 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by being lazy, and deciding not to clean the mess on my carpet
This wasn't that bad. I mean, not nearly as bad as a lot of the things I see here. But a fuck up, nonetheless.
My basement is pretty much where I relax, shoot pellet guns, throw knives, play video games, etc. While I was down there today, I... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1368677467 | 1368755851 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by dumping a bag of liquid crap on my bed
(Actually happened a few days ago, but TIL about TIFU.) I have an ileostomy, JFGI or ~~find~~ read [my IAmA ostomate thread](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1cn7hk/iama_ostomate_my_butthole_is_located_to_the_right/). I was wearing a belt, which keeps my ba... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1368723747 | 1368895481 | t3_1eg476 | t5_2to41 | 65 | Amp4All: Or, you just shouldn't pass around/ push prescription psychopharmecuticles because you're a layman.
inmyotherpants79: Maybe it's the fact that I grew up with a nurse for a mom but I never understood why people just give away their ADHD meds(or any medication) to people. You never know how someone will react t... | 9 | 7.222222 | |
1368715050 | 1368761275 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU By playing with a dog I didn't know. Now I might need rabies shots. But I dont have health insurance.
Its still less than 24 hours after I was bitten twice. I have no idea who the owner is. It was a small english bull terrier. The dog did not exhibit signs of rabies. We were in a dog park. And I am frea... | 5 | 2 | |
1368715171 | 1368716721 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | asimplefly: TIFU by taking a thing's to far
Talking to a bunch of friend's in the group chat on facebook. One of my friends was making a joke about not being able to go down stair's due to a spider on the stairs. My other friend said "why dont you just use your fist.
That's when I made thing's really akward by trying b... | 5 | 1 | |
1368727106 | 1369142108 | null | t5_2to41 | 848 | Djcalied: TIFU and got a black-eye from a 15 year old girl
Didn't think I'd be back here so soon... This happened 2 days ago.
I head over to my friends house around the time he gets off of work was going to surprise him with some beers and a blunt to smoke, I get there before him and notice nobody is home at his hous... | 12 | 70.666667 | |
1368729689 | 1368734424 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | Miss_Interociter: TIFU: Today I discovered I've been generating inaccurate data for months...for our Quality Assurance Department, no less.
The actual FU happened months ago, but I discovered it today. Nothing like not doing one final quality check on the data you send to QA.
[deleted]: Details? How did you do this?
M... | 4 | 11 | |
1368735538 | 1369016629 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | Anon_E_Mouse_1: TIFU and Pissed Myself
The other day I was out running errands on my lunch hour. It was our first really hot day, 90+, and I'm a big guy. Also I should say I was in a convertible with the top down. So I get some Taco Bell and a large Diet Dew in the midst of my errands. Mind you I have been sucking down... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1368744008 | 1368821312 | null | t5_2to41 | 416 | Sylar199: TIFU Got fired on day 1 of work
So, I've been unemployed for close to 2 years after leaving college, getting pretty desperate, so I take this job in a really small company. There are 4 other people there, all of which are female, making me the only guy. The night before I start I cant really sleep much, I'm r... | 10 | 41.6 | |
1368750877 | 1368758536 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | KantoRedFTW: TIFU by not making up the bed and sleeping on the bare mattress
So today I fucked up. Not one noticed by anyone I knew (Thank God), but a Fuck Up nonetheless. I was woke up by a friend in Scotland who Kiked me at 3AM EST, which is around 8AM for her. Before I woke up, I had a BJ dream (Happens on Occasion,... | 4 | 0.25 | |
1368758649 | 1368840753 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | opreallyisafaggot: TIFU and lost my job
I lost my only source of income (after just getting a new place) because I got caught stealing some lottery tickets on camera. It was before I got the place, when I literally had no money for food, so I pocketed some scratch offs in hopes of getting some food money. Now I lost my... | 4 | 2 | |
1368748981 | 1368882441 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Password-123: TIFU by accidentally branding myself
I had never had a working [cigarette lighter](http://image.made-in-china.com/2f0j00LMNQGvsBlHod/Cigarette-Lighter-Plug-GT-9243-.jpg) in my car before yesterday, so as I was testing it, for some reason I pressed my thumb against it to see how hot it was, because you kno... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1368773337 | 1369025864 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | DearPrudence90: TIFU: Accidentally Dined and Dashed
Today I was waiting for an appointment for a job interview and had an extra hour to kill. I went to a restaurant I'd never been to and ordered an iced tea for $3.50 and used the internet. The waitress seemed very nice and even called me sweetheart. The job was within ... | 3 | 31 | |
1368775872 | 1369034152 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting overly defensive about abortion in front of my prolife classmates.
To give some background or whatever I'm a 16 year old girl in tenth grade. In Health class we've been discussing things like contraception and sex, all that kind of stuff. I like it because it's been really open, we've been t... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1368801041 | 1373874048 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,222 | IMakeBadDecisions: TIFU by putting Alcohol on my penis, for lube, for sex.
We didn't have any lube or anything, so my wife says, go get the almond oil. I run out of the bedroom fully aroused just bobbing away. I reach in the cupboard and retrieve said almond oil. I run back in to the bedroom completely ready to get us ... | 12 | 101.833333 | |
1368804865 | 1368826437 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by presenting the 4Chan Adult gifs section to 12 year old autistic school kids...
So it was coming towards the end of the lesson and I decided we should get the iPads out and play a few math games before we packed up. So as it went, we visited the classroom next door to pick up the iPads. I was last to ... | 3 | 19.333333 | |
1368809857 | 1368872149 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | BathtubZombie: TIFU by speaking before thinking.
So here I was in my English class having a casual conversation when all the sudden my teacher gave my class some concerning news regarding her pregnancy. There was some sort of complication with the functionality in the baby's heart (I'm not too positive on the details) ... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1368812821 | 1368872865 | t3_1eizss | t5_2to41 | 10 | Desert_Coyote_115: He just over-reacted because he has a strong fear of identity theft.
A7XGlock: That uhh... Makes no sense. If a virus has already extracted information, destroying the machine will have no effect.
ssjkriccolo: Ctrl z will undo the virus.
| 3 | 3.333333 | |
1368810440 | 1369081894 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Kankill: TIFU by leaving a picture up on my computer.
Okay so, today my mom, sister, and, dad went out while I was in school (I'm home-schooled). Well during my break I got on reddit and was browsing around when I felt the need to fap, well, I'm weird and I was just looking around on r/hentai when I found this really g... | 6 | 4 | |
1368812491 | 1368814897 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | GodComplexGuy: TIFU By having a rational argument with my crushes sister...
I don't have great writing skills, English isn't even my first language, but I'd like to submit this little fuck up. So here is a little background story, I am in junior high, and my class has always been a troublesome bunch, this year, a few n... | 3 | 1 | |
1368814777 | 1368848021 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by opening my window shades
As a little backstory: I've been living at home for a few weeks, since I recently got out of college and am in sort of a transition period until I can fully support myself and live on my own.
Anyways, today, I woke up and started to open my blinds in my room, as it is a supe... | 4 | 2 | |
1368817953 | 1368825732 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | demonsaroundme: TIFU by stealing my moms wedding ring...
Im broke and i needed the money. So I went to the pawn shop near my house to pawn it. I got 150 bucks, which is better then I thought. Now my mom is mad at me for stealing it. I would never tell her it was me but she knows... She said shes going to the pawn shop ... | 6 | 5 | |
1368819208 | 1368822662 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | hissxywife: TIFU by letting my husband and son pick out a mother's day gift for my mom
They bought the gift last Saturday, but I finally saw my mom today to give her the gift.
My mom opens the box to find a lovely snow globe for grandmothers. She goes "ooh, that's very pretty" and then realizes it plays music. She ask... | 3 | 14.666667 | |
1368829673 | 1368878024 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | ThinkRocket: TIFU by playing Call of Duty
Alright, not sure if this post will make you cringe, but sure as *hell* made me cringe. So I'm attending a dance tonight, and I though to myself, "Hey, why not play some video games to chillax for a bit?"
I hop on the 'ole Xbox and launch the first game that catches my eye in ... | 4 | 11.75 | |
1368828309 | 1368968820 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | falseoptimism: TIFU by engaging in small talk with a taxi driver
I figured you'd enjoy my unfortunate story of the day :
I was taxi-ing back from university to my house (I have a scholarship, one can afford luxuries, also I was too hungover to adequately ride the bus without dropping a vom bomb over anyone within a 3 ... | 6 | 6.5 | |
1368829604 | 1368912294 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | clearedasfiled: TIFU and killed a baby duck.
Ok so it was actually my mom and sister but they were driving down the road and saw a momma duck and her babies trying to cross the road. The mom hopped up the curb but the chicks couldn't make it up and it was a real busy road. My mom just loves all animals so she parked on... | 4 | 1.5 |
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