start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1369405031 | 1369409225 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | crappytest: TIFU by not doing washing
Typical TIFU really. Was revising for my exam this afternoon, smelt something...something I knew. Oh crap. Literally. How I didn't notice beats me. But the real problem? They were my last pair of underwear, and my exam is in an hour so I have no time to do my washing. So I'm now si... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1369406599 | 1369878532 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | mrredhead: TIFU by trying to make something better
I have an Acer Aspire laptop that was bought on my scholarship, and is only four months old. Being touchscreen, I was getting four hours out of the battery with windows 8, and decided linux would hopefully make the battery last an hour more. Install ubuntu without a hi... | 9 | 1 | |
1369380804 | 1369438596 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | PYRO49: TIFU by not reading the entire wall of text on my friend's FB status
I'm a college freshman and he's a senior in high school. I merely skimmed through his status and thought to myself that he was giving a send off to his class such as 'its been fun' or 'good luck to you guys in the future'. I commented, trying ... | 3 | 25 | |
1369266499 | 1369451510 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | shuritsen: TIFU By taking a 1.5 Lt. bottle of water to the gym.
So in my fridge, there was this big 1.5 liter bottle full of water my mom had left there for almost a week now. Seeing as how it was time for my workout, I took it in a rush to get to the gym. Halfway through, I decided to take a chug so I wouldn't be so d... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1369408779 | 1369680231 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting a Viagra refill
So I live in a tiny college town with more than half of the residents are age 18-22. We only have 2 or pharmacies with one of them being right in the middle of the campus, so it's usually busy. Today was no different as there was a pretty big line at the Rx with only one cashi... | 7 | 10.714286 | |
1369418646 | 1369420106 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by attempting to update my iPod
**Edit:** Nevermind. I didn't fuck up
A few months ago I jailbroke my iPod. Today I decided that there was no point in having it jailbroken so I tried to undo it. How did I do it? I plugged it in to my laptop and told iTunes to restore it. It said it would back up the iP... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1369423871 | 1369455418 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | [deleted]: TIFU by almost cutting of my nipple
**Tl,Dr: Shaved by underarms for the first time in over a year, and slashed my nipple in the process.**
[F 21] Ok so I took a shower today, very ordinary. On this given day I have a busy day planned ahead of me. I have been waxing my underarms for around a year straight ... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1369410056 | 1369427930 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | Nazerr666: TIFU by eating Pizza and sleeping it off
Well, this happened a couple of weeks ago, but it's still a fuck-up.
We went to this restaurant with my dad, that serves the best salami pizza in the galaxy. I wolfed down the giant pizza like a starving t-rex, it was a nice meal, we had dessert, and after that, we ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1369427437 | 1369649110 | null | t5_2to41 | 159 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking in on my younger brother masturbating
I had 1 minute left on my microwave pizza and I wanted to make it back downstairs before it was over. I sprinted upstairs and smashed through his door without knocking(mistake); and there he was, red faced, pants around his ankles, with his computer scree... | 6 | 26.5 | |
1369440398 | 1369446429 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | tifuwithribs: TIFU by smoking four joints, drinking a bottle of bourbon, and eating ribs after 12 years of vegetarianism.
I honestly don't know how much I need to explain... I like to think of myself as a normal, functioning, relatively classy lady...or maybe not. Who knows.
Anyways, my friends have a bourbon BBQ the... | 3 | 3 | |
1369443106 | 1369589830 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | benzamen: Tifu by locking my leg on a trampoline.
**TL;DR**:Was with friends, shock from 5' jump onto tramp went entirely into right knee joint.
So I recently purchased a used $100.0 16 foot trampoline off of craigs list with my best friend. Me, his brother and I were all bouncing today and practicing front flips it wa... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1369426984 | 1369509262 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by telling my best friend about my new colleague with the amazing breasts.
My best friend is my wife.
[deleted]: Sounds like you have a crappy, untrusting relationship.
OP a few years ago:
> TIFU by getting married
zeaga: At what point is it untrusting? The best couple in the world could still be ... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1369447666 | 1369504677 | null | t5_2to41 | 364 | HoboSailor: TIFU By accidentally taking an adderall when I meant to take a tylenol PM
Title says it all. I have to be up early tomorrow for some volunteering shit with my girlfriend. I had intended to take an adderall tomorrow morning because I also haveresearch to do afterwards. Seeing as I have to get up early, I ... | 11 | 33.090909 | |
1369441759 | 1369612787 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | Shakesperience: TIFU by sending a naked picture of myself to my grandpa
He and my boyfriend have the same first name, I was so nervous and excited I didn't check the whole name. My grandpa shares a cell with my step grandma and they almost never check it but I can't just run over there and erase it. HELP. what should I... | 6 | 19.666667 | |
1369459497 | 1369532658 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | Chocolateperve: TIFU by believing that I can get back with my ex into a relationship(another heartbreak story) /relapse
Backgound: So me and this girl (she is 4 years older than me) used to go out but we broke up, she really liked me but we broke up because I lied i know i shouldn't have done that but besides that I wa... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1369456552 | 1369499309 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | teniaava: TIFU by driving two hours only to end up where I started
This is more of a collection of multiple small fuckups that add up to the giant fuckup that is the title.
So, its Friday. I'm bored. I text around, and a friend of mine tells me she's hanging out an hour away, and that I could crash on a couch there a... | 5 | 10.2 | |
1369457166 | 1369752376 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | hxcrichard: Tifu by carrying my Butterfly Knife Trainer on me today
So i bought this really cool toy from amazon
http://www.amazon.com/Butterfly-Trainer-Black-Powder-Coated/dp/B004SDX8BI/ref=pd_bxgy_sg_img_y
And i decided, "Hey, it would be a GREAT idea to carry this to work and then mess with it on break."
Bad idea... | 7 | 0.714286 | |
1369494512 | 1369573288 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,700 | MrJooMonkey: TIFU by farting in the shower.
So there I was showering, just minding my own business, when a sudden urge for a super fart presents itself to me. I let rip a monstrous fart, and before I know it a terrible smell wafts up to my nose. Now, this was no normal fart smell, but something completely different, so... | 8 | 212.5 | |
1369461346 | 1369540172 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | gugland: TIFU by trying to cure a hangover with a donut.
So the fuckup actually started last night. I'm drinking, talking and bbq'ing with my housemate. His English sucks, my Spanish is worse. We always manage to communicate in the end, but by then it's time for another cocktail. So, eventually, the coals die.
W... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1369508421 | 1369648552 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting cereal in the microwave.
My Family has been on a diet for a week now, So there as been no chocolate.
I kept craving it but I got over it. Anyways, I go to my cupboard that has Baking stuff, Biscuits and bread in it, And then I see it:
CHOCOLATE! (the cooking kind) So I read the packet, see ... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1369531701 | 1369618236 | null | t5_2to41 | 177 | SoulCoughing97: TIFU and trusted my cousin who can't speak English to pull through at the craft show, and my relationship was ruined.
Hi, it's me and my horrible life here again, to tell you of my horrible tales of what happened today. You may remember me from [this little mishap](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/... | 8 | 22.125 | |
1369532733 | 1369539516 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU by joking around with my cousin about torrrenting in the airport
Literally happened an hour ago. My cousin and I are going San Diego and had a stand by in Portland. While we were waiting he was torrrenting a game because the Internet was really fast, but since we're in an airport the Internet goes from... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1369540765 | 1369740812 | null | t5_2to41 | 139 | spoonhandler: TIFU by grabbing the wrong end of the soldering iron.
BURNS
TheMoorster: I did this years ago too, with an electric soldering iron, burned and electrocuted myself. Hurt like fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
contrawr: You look very alive for somebody who's been electrocuted.
TheMoorster: Electrocution doesn't mean inst... | 6 | 23.166667 | |
1369548915 | 1369552172 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | assreee: TIFU by getting a Brazilian wax...
pinkloki77: Excellent use of the word 'bajingo'. Hope you heal quickly. That sounds awful.
assreee: Thank you, thank you very much
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1369547291 | 1369697106 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | iShotMarvinInTheFace: TIFU By telling my boss to go f*ck himself.
First of all, you have to understand this is a man who has reached the point of speaking nasty things about me(alcoholic, lazy, always late) all of which have been untrue. I am, or was, a truck driver. This man would send off his favorite drivers early o... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1369561425 | 1369789702 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | crazyrazberry: TIFU. I have strict Muslim parents, and a boyfriend. They found out.
I know its really bad of me, but ive never really been the most religious person. Me and him did not go very far, as he was muslim too, and the relationship was in its really early stages.
they found out through a friend of mine who had... | 16 | 7 | |
1369549941 | 1369658405 | null | t5_2to41 | 125 | fflier99: Drunkenly told nuclear holocaust stories to friends kids
GodComplexGuy: Those are some sensible-ass children (this sounds so wrong). If someone told me a story like that when I was 8, I'd be asking for more! But then again, I also vivisected and tortured a fair amount of small lizards when I had that age.
je... | 8 | 15.625 | |
1369575021 | 1369620847 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Darkastic: TIFU by eating pizza that had been sitting out for 12 hours.
antoniusmagnus: That's not bad; I did the same thing but it had been out in my dorm room for three days. Luckily pizza doesn't spoil too quickly.
Darkastic: Well, it made my stomach hurt pretty bad until I finally puked it up. Good times
antoniusm... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1369575427 | 1369628608 | null | t5_2to41 | 945 | issuesmayexist: TIFU by putting tabasco on my balls [NSFW]
Sadly today I return to you, TIFU, with another masturbatory cautionary tale. Some may remember me as [the Buckyballs guy](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/13uidx/tifu_by_combining_magnets_with_my_urethra_nsfw/). After that incident, I hoped (and, indeed, ... | 11 | 85.909091 | |
1369582342 | 1369595831 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | tommyisaboss: TIFU by taking my watch off.
So last night I was at a party and I was wearing my dads Rolex Oyster Perpetual Datejust. He loves this watch. It's not his only watch, it's not his most valuable watch. But it is his favorite watch and he trusted it to me so I could look nice for this formal party. Now as I'm... | 6 | 7 | |
1369589479 | 1369685661 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | The_Seldom_Seen_Kid: TIFU and broke my arm while arm-wrestling, paralyzing my wrist and fingers in the process.
I have to start off by saying that this didn’t happen today. Not yesterday, not last week even, but on this day precisely one year ago. However, I can still feel (or rather *not* feel) the consequences of it ... | 4 | 18.75 | |
1369618494 | 1369684049 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | awesoMetrical: TIFU when my boss asked me if I still smoke by replying, "Cigarettes?"
eloski: You could always mean Cigars. Pretty easy way out.
awesoMetrical: This is true. Hopefully that's what she assumes, because if I brought it up later then that would just make it even more suspicious.
phalanx94: Just casually a... | 6 | 10.333333 | |
1369623996 | 1369662983 | null | t5_2to41 | 261 | [deleted]: TIFU by having the best and worst Prom night... ever
Ok so I deleted this post because everyone keeps harassing me saying "Bullshit, this never happened" and stuff like that. I would have been more than happy to post photos however, I cant post a photo of my dick because that is illegal and I have an identif... | 8 | 32.625 | |
1369636465 | 1369702920 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,644 | MBubbles: TIFU by fapping (schlicking?) in my parents bath tub. (NSFW)
Throw away account just to be on the safe side.
I am visiting my parents over the long weekend and with such a large family and sharing a room with my sister, it's hard to get any privacy. My only opportunity to get some peace and quiet (and orgasm... | 12 | 137 | |
1369623184 | 1369892444 | null | t5_2to41 | -6 | MorphineBear: TIFU by thinking I'd have enough time to use the restroom before a pizza is delivered to my house
First time telling a story here, so I apologize for any errors.
For the past 2 hours, I've been home alone. No one is in the house except for me. At around 6 PM, I start to feel hungry and because I can't co... | 14 | -0.428571 | |
1369644352 | 1369647937 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | Citizen-sniiips: TIFU possibly by accepting the wrong job
Pretty much after nearly 6 months of unemployment I finally got a job offer, without hesitation accepting. 2 hours later my friend tells me his work is basically offering me a much better position, much more suited to my abilities and with better pay.
Not sure ... | 3 | 13 | |
1369642846 | 1369795767 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | [deleted]: TIFU by being a shitty ornithologist.
It happened this saturday at 5:40 AM. I'm officially a soldier (not feeling like one tho, a shitty one probably), and I'm working at Air Force. I was on duty as a guard at a military facility.
There were two of us in the security post, watching CCTV video and guarding... | 6 | 10.333333 | |
1369697632 | 1369765177 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | cantfeelmylegs: TIFU by accidentally making an old lady miss her train
I catch the 9.05am train to the city. Today I was a bit late and basically arrived at the station at 9.02. I waited in the queue expecting to miss the train. I was paying by card/eftpos.
On the other queue for the automated ticket machine I saw an... | 4 | 19.5 | |
1369702536 | 1369728696 | null | t5_2to41 | 475 | HuckItDeep: TIFU by doing a pull up
Background: I have dislocated my left shoulder 10 times.
Today I was lifting with a friend and I decided to try and do a pull up. I was going throughout the day doing just fine, then we get to the part where I am supposed to do 10 pull ups. So I grab the bar and I am using the machi... | 7 | 67.857143 | |
1369700870 | 1369769303 | null | t5_2to41 | 137 | [deleted]: TIFU: By trying to leave while being detained
This happened yesterday but I didn't have the chance to write it until now. I'm in grade 12 and school just ended so our entire grad class had a party to celebrate. Being a high school party of course there was alcohol involved and being a bunch of high schoole... | 9 | 15.222222 | |
1369711810 | 1369743107 | null | t5_2to41 | 251 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking my dick
Edit: Yeah, shit, this is pretty NSFW. Not sure how to change it in the title so read on at your own peril.
So I've been trying out /r/NoFap for the past two weeks or so and today I finally cracked in the worst possible way. To give you a feel for exactly what happened just now I'm ... | 6 | 41.833333 | |
1369711086 | 1369739799 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | glitterythrowaway: TIFU by crying at work.
I just started my very first job on Friday. I was working today when all of a sudden, I started crying for no real reason. It got bad to the point where I couldn't calm down in the break room and had to leave early. The schedule got messed up because of me and I feel like a co... | 6 | 3 | |
1369711703 | 1369847825 | null | t5_2to41 | 87 | fatslob12: TIFU and hired a hooker
I graduated over the weekend and received quite a bit of money from my graduation party. Fast forward to today, I was a little drunk, very horny, and had a lot of money hanging around. So, I decided to peruse the internet looking for a cheap lay. Regretfully, I found one. For 70, I we... | 17 | 5.117647 | |
1369711068 | 1369803505 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | Mudbloods4Voldemort: TIFU by thinking it would never happen to me.
I trusted a fart.
That's right.
I pooped my pants.
Thankfully, I was in the privacy of my own room in my apartment. I was able to get up go to the bathroom and replace my underwear while silently crying over the fact that I was so stupid. I now unde... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1369718630 | 1369763123 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | adamandatium: TIFU by dying my hair.
I'm no novice with hair dye. Since the age of 14, I have dyed my hair every possible color: black, brown, blonde, red, orange, green, blue, purple, pink....everything. I have 7 years of hair dying under my belt.
Tonight, I decided to touch up my hair dye because I'm seeing my famil... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1369726927 | 1369906838 | null | t5_2to41 | 95 | deezy139: OMFG reddit, TIFU by "meeting" the neighbors.
Shit. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. Sorry Australia, gotta post in your time territory.
So, back story. I moved in here 17 months-ish ago. I knew some tenants next door but then they moved away. Fast forward to this month, Couple weeks ago I met the neighbor next door on the... | 8 | 11.875 | |
1369756644 | 1369785367 | t3_1f6u5e | t5_2to41 | 103 | snakehandler: I took a razor to my balls for the first time ever a couple weeks ago, and they didn't itch at all. In fact, I'm about to go do it again.
AnoruleA: Whenever I shave my balls with a razor they itch when the hairs grow back... do you happen to do anything special in particular?
XxmsmaliciousxX: The number o... | 12 | 8.583333 | |
1369711062 | 1369792641 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | DrLeoMarvin: TIFU because my father and brother have the same name
I've been talking to this girl who lives 4 hours away from me every day since we hooked up at a wedding. She's coming to stay with me this weekend and we've been txting/sending pics for a few weeks now non stop. She sent me a real sexy one tonight so ... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1369730683 | 1369904889 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | fish_kicker: TIFU by taking two Stackers, a 5H energy and drinking coffee...
Okay. I'm a healthcare professional on my last 11-7 shift at a particularly boring institution on the last day of my 12 night stretch. 6 of these days have resulted in over 12hour shifts. I'm exhausted. Now I'm all cracked out on OTC energy. S... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1369722275 | 1369927056 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by doing nothing
Two months back I signed up for online summer courses at a university in order to get some credits over the summer to make my next year in college easier. I only signed up for 2 courses: a psychology course to help with the MCAT and an anthropology course to help with my major.
Fast f... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1369724596 | 1369735950 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | mpl9109: TIFU by setting myself on fire.
So me and a few friends were on about an two hour long car ride so we decided to smoke a couple of blunts to pass the time. Not the brightest idea on a busy highway i know. Well after about the first hour had passed i'm stoned and ask my friend for a cigarette. Well I light up e... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1369756535 | 1369777184 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | pessimistdiary: TIFU by drinking enough vodka for several people.
It wasn't really today, but I'm still dealing with the fallout so I think it is fair to post.
So I am pretty quiet and reserved as a general rule. I am known for being conservative and sweet, and happy but hands-to-myself when drunk. A few days ago,... | 5 | 19.2 | |
1369758176 | 1369798864 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | iowagirlbbw: TIFU: By accidentally calling an officer a pig
This actually happened not today but a while ago. It is STILL one of the most embarrassing fuck ups I've had though so I'm going to share.
I worked at a pizza place on a college campus. The staff in our store were not the most lawful people I've ever met so a... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1369760105 | 1369776249 | null | t5_2to41 | 402 | inimtheTARDIS: TIFU by letting the past four years catch up to me.
So I am a Senior in high school and today we are having our final check out for graduation, which is on thursday. So the counselor for my school pulls me aside and says "Could you come by my office sometime today we have to talk about something." Now La... | 7 | 57.428571 | |
1369765162 | 1369789365 | null | t5_2to41 | 316 | build_a_bergworkshop: TIFU by spilling weed juice all over the last card my new wife got from her deceased great-grandmother.
This is a combo TIFU with a lot of backstory so bear with me.
I got married last week. It was a small family only ceremony in our backyard. We had planned on a bigger wedding later this year bu... | 7 | 45.142857 | |
1369777623 | 1369879698 | null | t5_2to41 | 77 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my husband touch me down there after he finished cutting jalapenos.
ouch, how to make the burning stop plz.
god bless
GodComplexGuy: **WE WANT DETAILS** And pics, otherwise we must rule this affirmation untrue. 'Tis the way of the interweb.
[deleted]: details include him cutting up a couple... | 7 | 11 | |
1369776518 | 1369857203 | null | t5_2to41 | 124 | tifuthwaway: TIFU getting caught by gf jacking off in her friend's bathroom
So my girlfriend and I were visiting a friend's house for a few days so that she could see her and I was tagging along to be a good boyfriend. But because we were staying at her friend's house, in her friend's room, we couldn't get our daily se... | 5 | 24.8 | |
1369773367 | 1371956798 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidently shitting in the shower
Recently I've been diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, it's not nice and it's brough with it some very unwanted side effects. One of these side effects is passing out. I can black out for 1-2 minutes, have short term memory loss and very weak muscles upon coming... | 6 | 12.5 | |
1369778431 | 1397167579 | null | t5_2to41 | 4,328 | intothewilder: TIFU by playing a ThinkGeek practical joke. The Canadian FBI was called and I nearly killed my 17-year career.
I work as a loans officer in a rural branch of a small Canadian bank.
Sorry for your suddenly-sodden panties, ladies.
Definitely not my dream career as a kid – the Fisher Price Banking Is Fu... | 13 | 332.923077 | |
1369783126 | 1369799278 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting my friends too much
This wasn't exactly today, but more over the course of the last year or two. I am in high school, and when my teacher moved my seat next to a girl whom i had been decent friends with in the past, I didn't think too much of it. However, we quickly rekindled our friendship ... | 3 | 6 | |
1369781964 | 1369809923 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | [deleted]: TIFU By Listening to my headphones in my car.
TIFU (well yesterday but meh) by listening to my ipod while driving. I've been doing it a lot lately because I've been getting sick and tired of the same shit on the radio and my car doesn't have an aux hole, mind you, it does have a button.
So, I get to my usua... | 6 | 8 | |
1369781621 | 1369810175 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | SwimmingNaked: TIFU by trying to save my family from contaminated water
We live in a very rural area, and are on a water well. The well we used since we bought the place was getting worse and worse...dyeing our skin orange and smelling like sulfur.
So, a month ago I figured we'd switch to an unused shallow well, which... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1369806802 | 1369892089 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | 00708070: TIFU by uploading an image to imgur with my mom next to me.
My mom wanted to upload some pictures, so I thought imgur would be the best solution. Of course when I go to the homepage they have all the most recently uploaded pictures, including a lesbian couple who were fisting each other violently. As soon as ... | 3 | 12 | |
1369809110 | 1369847416 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | lolyesok: TIFU by sending an email to a potential employer from my boyfriend's email on accident
This isn't a huge TIFU but I'm still devastated. My boyfriend's email is for his junk mail but it exhibits his love for marijuana through his username. I didn't realize i was on his account because of gmail's new way to sen... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1369820992 | 1369884242 | null | t5_2to41 | 140 | ihateportapotties: TIFU by vomiting into a porta potty
Throwaway account, for obvious reasons.
So I was at my town's annual festival for an event I will not divulge, and after I eating a ton of funnel cake, fried oreos, and more than my share of soda, I needed to take a huge piss. Now, there are no bathrooms at the v... | 4 | 35 | |
1369821881 | 1369916182 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | tmama1: TIFU by covering a faggot in petrol and lighting a match
I went to start a fire but used petrol due to a lack of diesel.
I then went out to lunch with a new haircut, trimmed beard and scorched eyebrows.
TIL Petrol+Fire= Bad Idea
Killhead: You were probably downvoted because people don't know what "faggot" me... | 7 | 0.428571 | |
1369820040 | 1369843854 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | throwawaynumber39871: TIFU by offering an old lady a seat on the bus and tripping.
I walked on the bus, and I sat near the front. The bus was full, and this old lady who I presume is about 90 walked on. Just like anyone who is young and has manners should do, I stood up to let her sit, but I forgot my umbrella was on t... | 4 | 24.75 | |
1369843262 | 1369862276 | null | t5_2to41 | 347 | BALLS_SMOOTH_AS_EGGS: TIFU by forgetting my girlfriend's birthday.
Well technically, it's tomorrow. But I purchased tickets to see Gov't Mule (Classic rock/jam band) tomorrow night with a few friends. I purchased the tickets about a month ago but only realized about a week ago that it was on the night of her birthday.
... | 4 | 86.75 | |
1369844708 | 1369875484 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating a bistecca al ferri at an authentic Italian restaurant while studying abroad
I'm studying abroad in Italy right now, about two weeks into the six week program. My roommates and I went out to a real Italian restaurant Monday night (not the tourist ones that are absolutely everywhere here) and I... | 3 | 7 | |
1369849359 | 1369876417 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | ANUS_CONE: TIFU by leaning back too far in my desk chair.
I leaned back and pushed back with my feet a little bit to talk to my co-worker in the cubicle next to me. My chair and my fat body went barreling into the floor on the back of my chair.
Everyone laughed. It was pretty embarrassing. I had to make the split seco... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1369854139 | 1369862128 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU and ate a Milky Way before work.
Why today? Why *this* Milky Way? Hello, again TIFU, this is my third and probably not the last story I will share here.
I picked it up along with a bottle of smart water after getting gas. It's a 20 minute ride to work and why not? I'm hungry, so I'll eat it on the way... | 3 | 1 | |
1369859700 | 1369884131 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,425 | coochbuzzthrowaway: TIFU by trying to discreetly buy a cooch buzzer.
I'm a 16 year old girl with no car and a crazy libido.
This combination meant that I'd never gotten the chance to get my hands on any sex toy of any kind.
Well, yesterday I woke up and had had enough; enough of using the showerhead and getting yelled... | 21 | 67.857143 | |
1369864454 | 1369878207 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | hatchetlock: TIFU by dropping crickets all over my room.
Today while feeding my Bearded Dragon i took out a tube full of crickets. First of all looking into the dark cramped tube full of 20+ crickets is considered at least a couple thousand peoples worst nightmare. Well as i was approaching to dump them into the bag i... | 7 | 7.571429 | |
1369865945 | 1369928577 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | MrGameNerd092398: TIFU by accidentally drinking alcohol underage
I'm 14, 7 years under the legal limit for the United States, and I drank wine. I was craving Pepsi a few minutes ago and there was a relatively full bottle of diet cherry in the kitchen, so I took a sip, and it tasted less carbonated, so I assumed it just... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1369859202 | 1370457126 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | throwawayforallofit: TIFU by shorting out my truck
Not exactly today, as it was a bit of a long fix. My dad is a mechanic and growing up I (f) was taught to do all my own maintenance and minor repairs. My dad as a supply store for all his parts that he's been going to for years and always deals with the same guy. (I do... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1369863199 | 1369971139 | null | t5_2to41 | 97 | Tapeleg91: TIFU by eating at Long John Silver's
So there I was, a sophomore in college hanging out with my friends. We hung out in the coolest place on campus, the Engineering/Technology building 2nd floor study lounge. Sometimes we would hang out through the dinner hours, and would grab a bite to eat on the way home f... | 5 | 19.4 | |
1369865507 | 1369892985 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | Germanyreadthis: TIFU by taking a hot shower
Today is quite hot where I live and, after my workout I really needed to take a shower.
No problem so far. I shampoo and rinse, thinking I am done and ready to leave. I rub over my head just to realize that I left a spot behind my ear still foamy. This is where the fuck up ... | 3 | 15 | |
1369872084 | 1369888115 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Reddit_Moviemaker: TIFU by trying to game reddit to get my silly overly "intellectual" reddit self-description spoken by Samuel L Jakcson.
The gaming effort is this message. So this is kind of recursive f*ck up. Yippee. (oh, I almost fucked up more - or is it less? - by not remembering to link this: http://www.reddit.c... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1369880869 | 1369883351 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | What_Is_Outside: TIFU by going to school high.
Before you guys go here and judge me for smoking weed or going to school under the influence, i'm a sixteen year old kid working 30+ hours a week and going to school everyday. It has been stressing me out and usually I do nothing about it until recently my friend said that... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1369878930 | 1370016817 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | patzzo: TIFU by killing the class pet
I am in grade 11 bio. Each week my teacher expects us to take home the class pet, a hamster, for the day. When I say this thing was ugly, I mean ugly. It had crap pouring down its eyes, and it shit on the same spot because it could barely move its hind legs. Any ways, besides being... | 11 | 6.636364 | |
1369879711 | 1369949434 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | TheMadderHatter: TIFU by spilling a cup of dip spit all over my MacBook Pro
MrRod: I drank my dipspit on accident before...I was on my laptop, skyping my best friend, and had two water bottles, one for drinking water and one for spitting. The two bottles were on the same side of the laptop, near the laptop's fan. As I... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1369886323 | 1369957886 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | bayouekko: TIFU by shaving my ladybits...
...in turn, managing to shave off half of my fingernail. Instead of a sexy, clean nesting place for my husband's prodigy, as was intended, I end up having to call him in the bathroom to lend me a hand as blood poured from my finger, all over my hand, down my arm, on the shower ... | 6 | 15.5 | |
1369893965 | 1369895016 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | gortallmighty: TIFU by blacking out. Then plumbing occurred.
6 in the morning and my pre-alarm goes off. Nothing strange about that, usually I switch it off and go back to bed. This morning however I had to pee.
I should also mention that due to [Rhinitis](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinitis) I had been having sligh... | 3 | 12.333333 | |
1369892790 | 1369952103 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by not washing my hands.
Had muscle cramp. Rubbed some Icy Hot on sore muscle. Went to bed five or so minutes later. Decided that it'd been too long since I had some "me time." Stuck my hand down my pajamas to get things going. Couple seconds later ... Holy fires of hell on my vajayjay.
TL;DR: Ic... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1369921755 | 1370106698 | null | t5_2to41 | 262 | Billy_Bongs: TIFU by hovering over a r/gonewild post at work.
So being the smart redditor that I am, I have RES and the companion on the old chrome. For those not in the know, I just hover over pic links and the picture displays usually. I was flipping around on reddit, resetting myself for a second when a coworker sto... | 10 | 26.2 | |
1369928300 | 1369938206 | null | t5_2to41 | 223 | shogi_x: TIFU by not paying attention while on the toilet
So I'm at work and I go for my usual morning shit. Pants down, sit down on the can, start business, open up Words with Friends. Son of a bitch landed 50 points on his turn.
Hear/feel something odd.
Look down and realize that somehow my dick has achieved *jus... | 3 | 74.333333 | |
1369928435 | 1369978346 | null | t5_2to41 | 770 | thr0waway53013: TIFU... I just wanted to be pretty for prom.
I live in a relatively wealthy town, but am personally middle class. My mother is a single parent and wanted me to have the best education, so she moved us here.
It's my senior year, I'm bound for college, and I knew prom was really expensive. Our tickets al... | 9 | 85.555556 | |
1369929917 | 1370014517 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | Paxaro: TIFU by losing my brand new $500 glasses.
Hey reddit, TIFU.
I just got a new pair of glasses and was trying them out, I still had my old glasses with me, and I was swapping them back and forth showing my friends my new look. I left my new glasses with my bag, because fhey still need some small adjustment and a... | 8 | 1.125 | |
1369932358 | 1369991825 | null | t5_2to41 | 693 | GodBroken: TIFU when my car door wouldn't open, so me and three other engineering students disassembled it.
Did not happen today, but I feel if I post the story I may be able to let this one go for good.
It was the morning after a rousing night of drinking and sleeping on a friend's couch with several other drunk hool... | 6 | 115.5 | |
1369936316 | 1370097177 | null | t5_2to41 | 349 | suicidalbitcoinloser: TIFU by losing my life savings because I had to crap
Actually it was yesterday. I wanted to put my paper wallet in the safe deposit box my family has. There is some gold, silver and documents in it, nothing big though. I wasn't feeling very well lately and had some stomach issues. It's a 2 hour tr... | 10 | 34.9 | |
1369946234 | 1370017317 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | canipaybycheck: [Modpost] 100,000 subscribers!
Congratulations, /r/tifu! We've reached 100,000 subscribers. It's thanks to all of you that /r/tifu is one of the best subreddits. Keep fuckin up!
I'd like to take this opportunity to ask the entire /r/tifu community: Do you have any ideas for new features for this subred... | 8 | 10.5 | |
1369946844 | 1370048017 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | BerryCobbler: TIFU when attempting to feed my snake.
I have a ball python, and I needed to defrost a large rat to feed it (you buy them frozen from pet food stores). I left it in a bowl of hot water on the counter next to the sink. When my mom saw it, she flipped out and knocked the bowl on the ground. Now there's wate... | 9 | 9.222222 | |
1369950652 | 1370033959 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | realswagisironicswag: TIFU lied to my parents about an officer application and today they found out.
I fucked up twice.
So, I'm in this club at school. I have been competing in this club for the past two years and both times have represented my state at the national level.
My parents understand the significance of ... | 7 | 6.142857 | |
1369949771 | 1369958055 | null | t5_2to41 | 261 | JaedenStormes: TIFU a road trip and wasted $400 by not checking the basics
So, I went on a trip for a few days, driving from Florida to Indianapolis and back. On the way up, I had a tire crack due to dry rot (and proceeded to drive over 900 miles with a severely left-pulling car, thinking the alignment was off.) Replac... | 11 | 23.727273 | |
1369955292 | 1369960413 | null | t5_2to41 | 196 | HEISENBERGMCMETHRAPE: TIFU by hot saucing my dick.
Just a few minutes ago, in fact. I was laying in bed, feeling rather frisky, and I decided to experiment a bit. For reasons even I don't understand, I decided to put hot sauce on my, ah... dowsing rod. So I go to the fridge and slather on a generous amount of Frank's R... | 5 | 39.2 | |
1369957228 | 1370041472 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | Pezking343: TIFU by trying to kill a bug, resulting in a loss of several hundred dollars.
This actually happened a few months ago.
I was in my friends car after work, I was riding shotgun. He was gonna drop me off at my place since we live on the same street. It had been a normal day I guess, but I was super excited f... | 5 | 5.2 | |
1369952043 | 1369978226 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | GonZ0opie: TIFU by finding out that maintenance had to move my porn.
My building is running new internet cables and have been in my building for a few weeks. When we first found out I cleaned my apartment and made sure it was ready for them to run. We then had a meeting and the landlord told us that we would have a doo... | 4 | 6 | |
1369961497 | 1369997789 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | KillerMagikarp: TIFU by Riding a Rollercoaster.
This isn't my fuckup, but it's my friend's.
names have been changed incase one of my friends sees this
Towards the end of every year in my highschool, each class has a class trip. Because we're sophomores and didn't have much cash, we decided to spend the day in an a... | 3 | 3 | |
1370004196 | 1370167491 | t3_1fdyp1 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Ever thought of maybe not being a douche?
Daiephir: Sounds to me like you need to empty your vagina of all the sand its got.
[deleted]: Sounds to me like you need to grow up.
Daiephir: And how so? Please enlighten me Mister. Am I not allowed to call someone who broke a goddamned chair fat if I ever want to? ... | 12 | 0.666667 | |
1369977591 | 1370017750 | null | t5_2to41 | -4 | farqueue2: TIFU by sending a text about my gf... to my gf...
So this isn't a "today" story.
it actually happened almost 10 years ago. but it doesnt mean it's any less funny
i once had a gf. cut a long story short - she's a whore.
worst relationship i ever had in my life. damaged me for years.
anyways, whilst we ... | 3 | -1.333333 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.