start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1370548710 | 1370634671 | null | t5_2to41 | 184 | Imfunnydamnit: TIFU laying on a hammock
1. Garage sale. Bought hammock. $10 dollars.
2. Set up hammock. Roommate buys hammock stand thing. Sets up in driveway for some reason.
3. First day off in two weeks; finally no EMT class or shift covering or bar tending. Finally.
4. Hammock looks nice. Think I will take dog and... | 6 | 30.666667 | |
1370555198 | 1370556024 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | so_it_went_like_this: TIFU by getting a lift home with my ex...
So me and my ex (we will call her Laura) broke up almost a year ago after being together for 6 months. The break up was pretty smooth and consequently we have remained friends since.
Well today I was on my way to the bus station after I finished college ... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1370555331 | 1370575365 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | WastedLink: TIFU by ceran wrapping my co-workers chair.
To start off - I hate my job and find this hilarious. I've told my dad and best friend so far and they both think this is a joke and are telling me to quit since I don't like working there anyway.
OK - so I work for a decent sized building, and I have a friend (L... | 5 | 7.8 | |
1370560431 | 1370663135 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Colink101: TIFU by watching "Starship Troopers" in music class.
Ok so it was Tuesday but that doesn't matter, there was a soccer tornament on Monday and everyone was tired so I offered to hook up my laptop. It just so happened that the only movie I had was Starship Troopers, so it came to the communal shower scene and ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1370562080 | 1370580090 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | aspookyghost: TIFU by glancing at my roommate's honker.
I got up bright 'n' early this morning for work, unusual because I usually don't start until the late afternoon. Came out of my room and saw my roommate's honker just basking in the bright light of day. Tried to look away but I just couldn't help myself and ended ... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1370560288 | 1370570947 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | TheCheesy: TIFU by ripping one end of a mcdonald's straw and blowing into it and having it shoot into a millionaire's face.
Well it was a few years ago but I just remembered it when I blew into a straw again while opening mcdonalds with one hand.
I was at mcdonalds with a few friends. I had ripped off a straw end and... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1370564491 | 1370657356 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | gaslightgirl: TIFU by shoving a poop filled dog kennel down the stairs...
I guess by the title of this post, most people would just use their common sense and realize it was a mistake.. not me, I was in a poop covered rage and couldn't think clearly.
Let me tell you how it all went down.
My dog tends to chew things. ... | 6 | 10.833333 | |
1370565153 | 1370669864 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | hop3ful: TIFU by being topless
while I poured myself a hot cup of coffee :(
TIL that when you're getting ready in the morning, bra comes before coffee.
Biggie313: At least you didnt cook bacon
hop3ful: Husband has done that naked =\
Like, I was super grateful for midnight bacon, but it was really stressful to watch... | 5 | 11.6 | |
1370565480 | 1385378187 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | yingmail: TIFU and drove my cat to its premature death.
My cat dusty, is a indoor outdoor cat. For whatever reason, when you try to pet him while hes relaxing outside he'll run way from you into bushes or something. I tried to pet him and he ran into a little strip of trees that separate the (busy) road from our house.... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1370572954 | 1370579118 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | [deleted]: TIFU by being accidentally racist.
I had an old pair of snowboard boots that were still in good condition that I was looking to sell because I had gotten a new pair. I took some pictures of the boots and posted them on craigslist. A few days later I got a reply to my ad, we emailed back and forth for a bit, ... | 5 | 9 | |
1370574812 | 1370640519 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | I_Feel_So_Good: TIFU by peeing my pants. Literally. :(
AND I'M NOT EVEN OLD! I was walking back home late at night and I reeeeaaaaallly needed to pee. My apartment was just a block away and I was doing such a good job of holding it in. But just as I neared the building, I couldn't help but open up the flood gates. To a... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1370583445 | 1370589155 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | My_Cool_Name: TIFU and didn't realize a girl wanted me to take her out to dinner.
So, today was my high school graduation, and after everyone walked, I came across my friend of several years. She mentioned being lonely, and proceeded to give me the most passionate hug I've ever been given. She looked towards me with th... | 3 | 13 | |
1370583999 | 1370642211 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | Seand0r: TIFU by causing my neighbor's dog to get run over by a large box truck
I'm still a bit off, but I was traumatized by the visual of what happened for most of the day.
I work with my brother in a small commercial warehouse off of a relatively busy street (commercial area, lots of trucks, pickups, cars). Our wa... | 5 | 14.6 | |
1370610692 | 1370617900 | null | t5_2to41 | 945 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally hitting the share button while watching porn
1. Browse nsfw subreddits
2. find good porn
3. browse a lot
4. fap
5. hear facebook sound
6. look to the left (second monitor) - someone commented on your link
7. __which link?!__
8. see link
9. _fuck_
__TL;DR: Whoever got the idea to implem... | 10 | 94.5 | |
1370571527 | 1370772977 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | mysmellysausage: TIFU telling my friend she looked prego
I told my friend someone thought she looked pregnant and now
She feels like shit. Then her bf texted me saying he's going to kill
Me. Fml
Tap-it-lightly: I feel like this should have a different title. Something like "TIFU by being a complete asshole."
mysmellysa... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1370619132 | 1370648332 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | SmashMetal: TIFU messed up my chances with a cute girl
So there's this girl that's on my train nearly every day to and from college and she's quite cute. I try and get eye contact with her and throw in a cute smile every now and then, but never spoke to her (I'm such a beta).
Today I got on the train and there weren'... | 4 | 1 | |
1370605728 | 1370623319 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by burning my smartphone screen with lens
This happened a month ago. I have a fucking big lens and I take it to school to burn stuff. So one day I wanted to reflect the focused light, but I didn't have any mirror, so I tried with my phone (because I often reflect normal sunlight with it), and a part of ... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1370628343 | 1370687344 | null | t5_2to41 | 621 | vomitassault: TIFU by going to the local pharmacy for Plan B, only to discover that I know every single pharmacist who works there.
One of which being a local artist whom I really admire and have been working with to try and secure a solo show for myself in the upcoming months. We made small talk until I revealed my tr... | 7 | 88.714286 | |
1370631983 | 1370711425 | null | t5_2to41 | 561 | iamnotgoingtousethis: TIFU by forgetting to lock the door
This morning before I left the house I pooped after I took a shower and then left for work because I was running a bit late. I live in Arizona where the weather is about 105 degrees right now and as a big guy, I suffer pretty heavily as a result of this. I park ... | 7 | 80.142857 | |
1370633511 | 1370634563 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating in the washroom stall at work and getting some cum on the shoe of the person peeing in the urinal next to me...
He screamed out wtf so I cleaned up quickly and got out. I told him I was just trying to spit in the toilet and fucked up but I'm pretty sure he knew. I was wearing earphones a... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1370642709 | 1370658255 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | AndersonRagan: TIFU by taking a picture of a trophy.
Background information: I am a high-school student working in a trophy shop.
Today I was making a trophy and I saw on the order form it was for one of my friends, we'll call him Jay. So I fucked up by taking a picture in Snapchat (a smart phone app where you can se... | 4 | 14 | |
1370642758 | 1370700739 | null | t5_2to41 | 76 | BaseActionBastard: TIFU while preparing food.
I washed, cut and scooped out a pound of fresh jalapeños and jammed delicious cheeses into them and wrapped each one lovingly with thick cut bacon earlier in preparation for my sister's barbecue later today.
Now my fucking hands are on fire. I haven't cooked with fresh pe... | 5 | 15.2 | |
1370645889 | 1370647252 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | Rivoch: TIFU by almost having sex with a friend
I have this friend (let’s call her Jessy) that is a really great person, an awesome friend that always act kindly or nicely with me. But we, from the beginning of our friendship, always had this attraction to each other; I never did anything about it until today.
So, tod... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1370642510 | 1370710912 | null | t5_2to41 | 175 | PornIsntReal: TIFU by mistaking someones identity
My dad grew up as a poor black kid in a shit part of the Bronx NY, and self-emancipated himself at a very young age. He had an abusive stepfather and wasn't interested in keeping any family ties.
Several decades later after a tour in Vietnam and having a family with 3... | 4 | 43.75 | |
1370653668 | 1370700229 | null | t5_2to41 | 193 | [deleted]: TIFU my finals schedule
I don't think this needs much explaining.
http://i.imgur.com/g74wXYM.jpg
[deleted]: "I cannot believe the sense of entitlement and self-importance Stanford Professors* have..."
AnthonyCharlesXavier: I'm from the UK and don't know how much Stanford is, but I'm guessing its a lot.
I t... | 9 | 21.444444 | |
1370658658 | 1370660555 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU Smoked meth, paid for a prostitute...
I've been clean almost six months and last night I walked to the store around midnight to pick up some beer and as I was leaving the store to go home I noticed somebody in the alley behind the store smoking it. I had already been drinking earlier so my inhibitions ... | 3 | 1 | |
1370639291 | 1370708889 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | mannsnafin: TIFU by almost getting caught hooking up with my girlfriend
So this morning my mom and dad were out of the house and weren't supposed to be back until 10:30 so I had my girlfriend over and we started to hook up. Then out of no where I hear them downstairs at 9:30, and there is only one way downstairs and th... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1370664834 | 1370669126 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | genius96: TIFU Royally by spilling sweet tea everywhere and shutting off the main water valve.
Warning, wall of text.
I work at a McDiabeetus. And we sell Sweet Tea, any size for a dollar, this being 'Murica, it sells like crazy (especially the large sized), especially after April.
The tank in the lobby ran out of S... | 9 | 1.222222 | |
1370677963 | 1370718697 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Txtillidie: Tifu by I introducing my girlfriend to the shower head
The title says it all. I just simply thought it'd be awesome to show her a different type of pleasure but I think I messed up because she seemed yo have liked it a little too much. She was talking about how she is going to try different position and di... | 6 | 7.666667 | |
1370646774 | 1370745341 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | robbwiththehair: TIFU by replacing my penis with a Coke bottle.
So this happened a few hours ago, and after looking back on it realized how dumb this was. So to put a little setting, was on my girlfriend's bed, about to receive head (or whatever else you want to call 3rd base). Being the mature shit I am, I saw a seale... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1370700712 | 1370712108 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | terribleaimandeyes: TIFU by..I don't know how to explain this really...Just open the text
Monday. I was home alone. Figured I could have some "me time" and did it. No problem. My TV is in the living room, and I did "it" there. There's a fan there. Now when I finished, I was almost 100% sure everything was fine. No remn... | 7 | 10.142857 | |
1370705809 | 1370707038 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | actuallyeffedup: TIFU by enjoying a few minutes outside alone at 3am, or so I thought
*Using a throwaway because well, who knows who reads this site. Anyway, I never thought I would be worthy of a post here. Not because I think I'm perfect, but because my fuck ups usually are not that notable. I was wrong.*
Let me set... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1370708529 | 1370772685 | null | t5_2to41 | 795 | [deleted]: TIFU by making out
So last night was my graduation, and afterward this girl came back to my place to chill. We ended up cuddling and eventually making out. During the flow of events, my dick decided now was a great time to get hard as hell. I adjusted myself so it wouldn't be obvious, but my thumb nail rubbe... | 10 | 79.5 | |
1370706393 | 1370713812 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | fourtwentyuk: Today I fucked up by texting my drug dealer
I texted my dealer asking him for two bags, thirty minutes later he's one street away so I set off to meet him. As I approach his BMW I see my guy and a heavily fake tanned, tramp-stamped, made-up girl exiting a DVD rental sho- think it was a BluRay in his hand ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1370723802 | 1370752835 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting foot powder on my balls.
To preface, my main mode of transportation is the bicycle. Now that summer is upon us, I find it uncomfortable to bike to work without some sort of chafe "protection". I'm sure you've been there. Basically I want to take measures against a swamp occurring in my trouse... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1370718836 | 1370896635 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | bybear1794: TIFU by smoking.
Technically this happened yesterday but I'm only feeling the affects today.
My friend went out of town for the weekend and asked me to house/dog sit for her, her dog loves me so I figured I'd help out a friend.
About 2 hours after she left I went outside for a cigarette and left my phon... | 5 | 13 | |
1370730461 | 1370762567 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | sonofsanford: TIFU yesterday, also by making out
So i was allowed over to this girls place on the condition that we couldnt be behind closed doors. Her parents are very very strict and religious. FU #1, we went to the cabin and closed the door. FU #2 one thing led to another and both of our shirts are off. Soon enough ... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1370731810 | 1370733661 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by not taking a picture of this incredible snow white milk-poo that came out of my MOUTH!
TIFU: I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset tummy and I thought a tall glass of milk might make me feel better. I drank the milk then went back to sleep. Then when I finally got up and hopped in the ... | 7 | 1.428571 | |
1370730122 | 1370904659 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU by having a smoke while my dad was out.
This actually happened a couple months ago but IDGAF.
Those of you who browse comment threads may have seen my story briefly explained before.
Well I'm gonna tell the whole story now.
See, I used to be a chain smoker. So even when it was hot, and there wa... | 5 | 3 | |
1370739364 | 1370776250 | null | t5_2to41 | 94 | electricpepper3: TIFU And the smell was so bad they cried.
I was babysitting for a family who I frequently babysit for, they had left out the usual assortment of food and I spotted some microwaveable popcorn. I'd hit the jackpot.
So I eagerly started cooking the popcorn, put it on for 3 minutes and I went and waited. ... | 3 | 31.333333 | |
1370756153 | 1370756534 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | HumanistGeek: TIFU by touching my dick after dinner
Cooked [vegetarian korma](http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Vegetarian-Korma/Detail.aspx) for dinner. I liked it. Much less spicy than I expected, but that's fine because I don't care for that kind of heat.
Some time after dinner, I touched my dick, and the little amount ... | 3 | 22.666667 | |
1370720753 | 1370838237 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | SapphireSawfish: TIFU by not paying attention to the announcements in the train
Fucked up by not paying attention to the announcements in the train I'm in now. The train was supposed to go to my hometown but, for some (undoubtedly shitty) reason, turned the fuck around and is now heading back in the opposite direction!... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1370757574 | 1371278426 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | pesh527: TIFU by not taking my medication and then multitasking and not paying enough attention.
I have attention deficit disorder. A few months back I thought I would take a break from my medication, to see if I still really needed it. I saw a lot off things that I did that indicated to me that I still needed it. So I... | 8 | 9.75 | |
1370762222 | 1370860084 | null | t5_2to41 | 516 | TIFU8June2013: TIFU by making a pretty bad situation shitty
Alright, so I always laugh at the stories on here where people shit themselves and think "no fucking way I'd ever do that..." I'm now eating my words. Really just typing this up to relieve some of the stress that I've accumulated over the past few hours.
It a... | 9 | 57.333333 | |
1370775191 | 1370835169 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | scrumfie88: TIFU by taking my brother-in-law to a party
So I thought it would be a good idea to take my brother-in-law out to a party that was filled with some of my really close friends. He works a lot and doesn't get out even on his one day off a week. So I told him to have a good time and I would be the DD. Well he ... | 3 | 17.333333 | |
1370797708 | 1370812653 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by fucking my best friend
Aight, so, my best friend and I are practically inseparable. We do everything together, which has become a problem for her and her boyfriend. Understandably. I'd feel worse, if he weren't terrible for her and if he actually treated her well. But, anyway, a few nights we were ch... | 3 | 1 | |
1370795572 | 1370806565 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | doovd: TIFU by putting announcement and fuckup in the post title
Sorry guys =/
jaketocake: I don't understand.
doovd: csssssssssssssssssssssssssss
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1370810790 | 1370894706 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,286 | corntortilla: TIFU by cooking
I'll preface this by saying that I have not been very well the last few days. I had what was probably food poisoning last week and have been sickly since. I have eaten very little the last few days and I'm constantly trying to balance out hunger and nausea.
This morning I woke up very hu... | 9 | 142.888889 | |
1370812725 | 1370839746 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | pangirl101: TFIU by not checking what I was about to drink..
This is only a minor fuck up, but I thought I might as well share it so nobody makes this same mistake... I did this just a few minutes ago.
Well, I have a small ant problem in my house.(its important, just wait.)
Just a normal day. I have a glass of sod... | 5 | 17.2 | |
1370814747 | 1370875091 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | iwishihadnotdonethat: TIFU by being Don Draper
Two weeks ago, at 27, freaking out about a failed co-dependent relationship, about being rejected, I showed up at the door of my ex, intending to talk and clear things up, to show that I was not in fact the needy, overly-emotional person I thought I was. Little did I reali... | 3 | 4.666667 | |
1370812772 | 1370826911 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | Otagraf: TIFU by trying to rebuild my own carburetor.
I'm not very familiar with motors...Actually I know nothing about cars or motorcycles internals. I recently framed my basement and got a huge head about how I could do things by using youtube and googlefu and just following instructions. A month or so ago my roommat... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1370822665 | 1370880280 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | neoncatface: TIFU by running out of work because I had diarrhea.
I made a new account and everything for this post....I'm so embarrassed but I had to let it out somehow.
I wasn't even finished with the tasks that my managers assigned to me when I started getting that feeling in my gut of impending doom....and I just... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1370817782 | 1370833850 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | rogueJrogue: TIFU With airsoft
So today I was bored and just laying around and browsing on my phone. Then I randomly find one of my airaoft BB's on my bed and while I'm laying there on my phone just start to mess around with it in my hand. Then I put it by my ear and set it in the little gap part. Then as I go to take ... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1370829469 | 1370838874 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | sg88: tifu, by drinking water
i keep a gallon of water next to my bed that i drink and refill daily. and i just took a huge swig of it... not thinking about the fact i have been out of town for the last 3 days with it sitting there half-full and with non-moving air near it in temperatures around 85-95 degrees.
as soo... | 3 | 15 | |
1370845017 | 1371157890 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | pukedonchuck: TIFU by being myself at a bridal expo.
So today I went to a bridal expo with a 2 friends of mine, you evidently get free stuff if you are a bride so my friend listed me as also being a bride... I am very flirty, but I am single. When I am flirty I am stupid.
Now for my fuck up, I was well in to the exp... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1370842244 | 1370926129 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Barack-Frozone-Obama: TIFU by getting wasted, stealing a traffic cone, and getting clotheslined
So about a month ago was the end of the semester for me, and I'd just gotten out of a grueling couple weeks filled with 5 exams, a senior design project, and handful of other projects. Friday night, college is over -- time t... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1370842809 | 1370880429 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | xXProLegitXx: TIFU by loosing the title to my motorcycle
I bought a motorcycle a week or so ago. I havent had time to register the bike in my name and get tags, so ive been riding tag less but with my title, bill of sale, and the old registration in my backpack in a clear waterproof bag. Well today i went out riding ... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1370859892 | 1370899723 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,015 | TheWierdSide: TIFU. I'm sure this has happened to someone else, right? RIGHT??!?!.
An hour ago i put on some amazing amateur porn i found on the interwebs and while waiting for it to buffer, i decided to work myself up really hard by edging myself on some GW posts.
The video took almost an hour to buffer(fuck you, int... | 13 | 78.076923 | |
1370848077 | 1371068962 | null | t5_2to41 | 124 | Oangusa: TIFU by eating fiber gummies like candy
I wasn't full after my small dinner, so over the course of a few minutes I ate 15 or 20 fiber gummies (amounting to 7-10 servings). Over the course of 6 hours my stomach has painfully bloated and makes noises I've never heard before. My roommates have the joy of seeing m... | 6 | 20.666667 | |
1370881761 | 1370964682 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | blazingarpeggio: TIFU by drinking myself senseless
I've been skulking this subreddit for quite some time now, and I never thought that I would one day post something here, let alone a disgusting story. But here I am, and here goes.
So school is starting here while the rest of the world is about to start their summer v... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1370895880 | 1371000581 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | Throwmeawayimthatdum: TIFU by not paying attention
Hello.
If you're having sex behind an elementary school in the middle of the day, make sure you have the right hole.
That is all.
Actually, don't have sex behind elementary schools either.
[deleted]: Middle of the day? Did they have recess? Wonder if anyone saw you, yo... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1370897230 | 1370898844 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | marcAnthem: TIFU by not putting gas in my car
Some context: Just got a new job with a great company that I tested, placed on a list, and THEN after 6 months was interviewed for the job, to which I waited 2 more months to process paperwork and get a starting date.
So I finally started and a week in to work I am sent t... | 3 | 1 | |
1370909879 | 1370982419 | null | t5_2to41 | 860 | HelloKidney: TIFU by pretty much BEGGING for my car to be stolen.
As I pulled into the parking garage at work this morning, I had Pandora playing on my phone, connected to the stereo. I don't recall what the song playing as I pulled in was, but apparently it was the muthafuckin JAM! It was so the jam that I needed to h... | 12 | 71.666667 | |
1370911307 | 1370981357 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | Roseland: TIFU by looking as if I were smelling my fingers after sticking my hand under my butt.
So I went to see The Purge last night with my friends. We were late and after I bought my ticket, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands while they were buying their tickets. I caught them walking by as I exited and we wen... | 3 | 4 | |
1370913730 | 1371690154 | t3_1g33yg | t5_2to41 | 5 | fieldofheather: Here's a pic of my boyfriend holding it.
http://i.imgur.com/G24zzmT.jpg?1
SneerfulWizard: Why the fuck did he put his face in the photo.
fieldofheather: Lol I don't know. It was his idea!
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1370919593 | 1370963918 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | antici-pation: Stereotypical Teenage Fuck Up, Right?
I was sleeping over my friends house with two other friends (all girls, I'm a guy). One of which happened to be my friend with benefits. We all proceeded to get quite drunk. We settled down and pulled out the sofa bed. Me being drunk off my ass with my friend with be... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1370923927 | 1371275658 | null | t5_2to41 | 382 | mikhail_harel: TIFU by taking my sex toys to the grocery store
Today I was on my way to a session with a sub of mine, and the following happened:
I'm visually impaired and can't drive, so I'm stuck taking the bus. There was half an hour before my bus came, and I was kind of hungry, so I decided to make a trip to the ... | 9 | 42.444444 | |
1370926671 | 1370933113 | null | t5_2to41 | 117 | [deleted]: TIFU by screenshotting a Snapchat picture
How the fuck was I supposed to know that it ALERTS the hot guy that I was trying to save his picture? I am so embarrassed, I could die right now.
Let this serve as a warning.
Antlered_Ostrich: Say it was an accident- and that you apologize and deleted it. (even if ... | 7 | 16.714286 | |
1370928870 | 1371013813 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | Irozai: TIFU by being sexually oblivious.
So this actually happened over last summer, but I actually didn't realize what I had done until about a week ago. Basically, I was in China with some other students from the US, and we would get some alcohol every night while we were there and have a good time. The entire trip ... | 5 | 10.8 | |
1370927463 | 1370987779 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | tifuu: TIFU by getting wasted and kissing my best friend.
So last week at a party we both got totally drunk and apparently made out, that's what she tells me because I can't remember anything from that night. (By the way I'm a straight female and she's a lesbian).
Things where awkward for a while the about 5 days afte... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1370934864 | 1370966094 | null | t5_2to41 | 270 | D14BL0: TIFU by giving myself a Hitler mustache
This was actually last night, but I just now realized I should share.
I normally only shave when my facial hair gets so long that I start to get beard in my food. I'd try to style it somehow, but it's unruly and grows in sorta patchy, despite growing in a decent length. ... | 3 | 90 | |
1370937094 | 1372764856 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | FaceRapingDentist: TIFU by uncontrollably shitting myself. Sorry guys reset the counter.
Well this actually happened a few days ago but I figured I would share. My apartment complex is just a few blocks away from the liquor store I go to so I walked over to to get my daily vodka fifth. The liquor store guy is cool and ... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1370954679 | 1370968364 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | KatieCups: TIFU by shitting my pants.
Last week my grandfather died and on top of that my ENTIRE immediate and extended family got hit with some super stomach norovirus (Shitty situation. Literally and figuratively.). I have literally had explosive diarrhea for 7 days. Yesterday was my first day without, this morning o... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1370962885 | 1370963393 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | ohshitmypants: TIFU by shitting myself in my car while on the expressway.
Happened last week, but the shame finally wore off...
dobtoronto: *Slow clap*
You reacted like a strong and intelligent pants-soiler I bet - driving safely and making it to your destination.
Thanks for sharing so we can have a smile at your pr... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1370964711 | 1370999909 | null | t5_2to41 | 769 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting about the app that automatically updates my camera roll to facebook
And now everyone has seen my girlfriend's vinegar strokes, and everything else.
CapnJubwub: There's one female on my friend's list who the other day meant to send a topless photo to her boyfriend. She sent it to the wrong ... | 12 | 64.083333 | |
1370966868 | 1371075965 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | [deleted]: TIFU by converting three apartments into Waterworld
So I spent most of the day in bed browsing the Internet and what have you. My boyfriend came home in the evening and mentioned that he thought he heard running water but I didn't hear anything from my room. A little after that we noticed a massive flood in ... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1370963436 | 1370968377 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | justanothersmartass: TIFU using Facebook
I was chatting with a girl in a different office using our messaging system. I wanted to see what she looked like, so I searched for her on Facebook. When I tapped her name, it said "friend request sent."
Things are going to get awkward.
eb28: You can just cancel the friend r... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1370972238 | 1371382927 | null | t5_2to41 | 283 | oneeyedgoat41: TIFU by showing my boyfriend my nasty-ass yeast infection. [NSFW]
To start, I had BV. I go to the doc, and she prescribes me an antibiotic by the name of "Flagyl." Like a responsible lady who doesn't like to post too much on /r/TIFU, I read all the instructions and look it up some more on the internet so... | 9 | 31.444444 | |
1370977167 | 1371016491 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | KGB_INC: TIFU by eating McDonald's.
Before anyone says anything: yes, I know. Eating McDonald's in general is a fuck up. But I tell you, the fuck up transcends just shitty food.
I went to the fast food eatery that happily serves 42 million people globally every day. It was a hot day in the South, so I decided to get m... | 7 | 5.857143 | |
1370996568 | 1371057927 | null | t5_2to41 | 102 | LumpyToosh: TIFU by accidentally mocking a kid about his dead mom.
So I'm a highschooler. I take a class called Model United Nations in which we debate both national and global issues. Today the topic was same sex marriage. One kid went up spewing leviticus, saying that gay people are abominations (btw there is a gi... | 4 | 25.5 | |
1370997388 | 1371098023 | null | t5_2to41 | 279 | preesisters: TIFU by next day mailing a birthday card to a lawyer on the other side of the country and legal documents to a little girl who just turned 8.
Source: I work at a UPS store. They were both in express packages and I accidentally swapped the labels before affixing them.
that_guy_u_met_once: I'm at work at the... | 4 | 69.75 | |
1371015299 | 1371587135 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | jacqvic: TIFU by spilling tea on my laptop while writing a final essay
It's a macbook pro, so I know that even the extended warranty won't do shit when it comes to water damage. I am a full-time student and am completely on my own when it comes to finances, and most likely will not be able to buy a new one any time soo... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1371017406 | 1371627855 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | whoops_I_Fucked: TIFU by unintentionally committing fraud.
So Last week I got my paycheck from my job and then proceeded to deposit it using an Electronic deposit app for my bank on my phone. The deposit went through the next day but said it was on a 7 day hold. I tried calling my bank, but they said they couldn't lift... | 5 | 4 | |
1371027819 | 1371032644 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | jonsul97: I fcked up a car at McDonalds...
Well here is what I did...
YESTERDAY:
Went into McDonalds, asked for water and got Poweraid instead (first issue), then when I was almost done I filled the cup up with ketchup, walked outside and proceeded to through the ketchup and Poweraid all over a random persons car (in... | 8 | 1.625 | |
1371023550 | 1371052585 | null | t5_2to41 | 922 | [deleted]: TIFU.....Got Pulled over in a bad mood.
I got pulled over for speeding.
I was already pissed off, and running late. You know the story.
Well, the cop comes up and said, "Do you know why I pulled you over sir?"
He was nice, not an asshole, instead I was the asshole. I said, "No, Not a clue. Do I match the ... | 8 | 115.25 | |
1371012873 | 1371056469 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | thatssorelevant: TIFU by accidentally telling a young parent of 2 that she had her kids into an unstable life. I was hoping to do it differently, "do it right".
##I was high. It was after midnight.
I was catching up with an old friend from high school who I barely talk to.
**The conversation:**
Me:
* So what are you... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1371043592 | 1371158714 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | ichegoya: TIFU by screwing up a work deployment
Background: I work in the IT department of a moderatley large company whose business depends on a particular website being up.
So I am not a server admin. I am a helpdesk jockey. But for some reason the server admin guy thought I was ready to take charge of the produc... | 4 | 8.25 | |
1371041217 | 1371222840 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | KSchnablee: TIFU by uploading over 5,000 picture files to my computer and accidentally deleting them
Now the very foundation of my blog and my 60+ pound weight loss journey over the past 8 months is completely gone. Apparently, Google chromebooks have no recovery option!
I'm an idiot!!
brewbrew: Try to put the SD car... | 9 | 2.888889 | |
1371051537 | 1371132026 | null | t5_2to41 | 77 | Dende1127: TIFU by chugging water with eye drops in it.
This actually happened a few years back in a college biology class but ever since I was a bit younger ive had a talent for being able to rapidly drink liquids. One of my friends knowing this about me decides to challenge me one day in class. I agree knowing i can... | 6 | 12.833333 | |
1371061152 | 1371108591 | null | t5_2to41 | 226 | MatchFinancial: Left the Speakers at Work on
I decided I really wanted to catch up on a show at work today. I put on my headphones and played the show on my computer while looking really busy and hard at work. I kept getting weird looks from everyone who walked by my office. Finally my phone rang and I took my headphon... | 3 | 75.333333 | |
1371018691 | 1371102751 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally letting my dog eat nasty bread and dead beetle larvae. (a bit long)
Bit of information first.
So, I have a gecko. Well, actually two. And since they like to eat, I also have food for them. mealworms, superworms, and butterworms, currently. The butterworms live in the fridge, in a hib... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1371076008 | 1371114630 | null | t5_2to41 | 801 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking I had enough time to masturbate
So I'm at my dad's house and my brother is gone for the day. (We share a room at his house) I have the whole upstairs of the house to myself, and I feel like masturbating. I looked at the clock and saw that it was getting closer to the time we usually eat. I f... | 10 | 80.1 | |
1371083861 | 1371242733 | null | t5_2to41 | 114 | ShitHisDamnPants: TIFU by trying to force out a fart.
It's 3:00 PM. I'm bored, playing Saints Row 3. Parents are out, only my brother is home. Suddenly, I get the urge to fart. I've been having a rumbling tummy all day, and I ate hot wings last night. I figure it's nothing and try to force her out. Boom, I feel a wet s... | 6 | 19 | |
1371085000 | 1371142874 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | AnAlternativeName: TIFU by not verifying my date to take an EMR exam.
Well, that was actually last Sunday. I thought the exams were on the 14-15 (and that there was another lab) because the teachers didn't even have a date set up the last lab weekend for the exam, and plus there was homework to give to them the next la... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1371090893 | 1371225341 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | ArizonaBlood: TIFU by going t work sick
I wasn't feeling good this morning but I decided to go to work anyway. It was just a stomach ache. Surely I could push through it. So I go into work today only to find that they want me to stand in 106 degree weather for 5 and a half hours and keep tourists out since the business... | 4 | 14.5 | |
1371094190 | 1371102736 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by giving my therapist way too much information (xpost from /r/MMFB, not sure if this is allowed so please downvote if not).
**Edit:** Therapy was great :) My doctor is awesome. He immediately brought up drafting a letter of recommendation for HRT, but suggested we have a few sessions first, so I can be... | 10 | 4.4 | |
1371069216 | 1371163652 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | Fner: TIFU by getting rid of our bed
My boyfriend and I moved to our very own first lat together, we were thrilled.
Unfortunately the sofa-bed turned out to be a single, as there were some religious holidays it took us five days to get in touch with the landlords who announced that we couldn't swap it as it had been us... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1371101583 | 1371130911 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | thatashguy: TIFU: Caught out by a purple link...
New guy started at work. I was training him at my desk. I took a phone call and after the phone call I did a quick google search on the companies name to find out a little more detail about what they did. One of the top results was the owners LinkedIn page so I viewed it... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1371107079 | 1371144530 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,521 | facetious_journalist: TIFU by ruining my twin sister's wedding.
**TD;DR-** I ended up wrestling naked with a venture capitalist in a ten-thousand-dollar suit on a dirty bathroom floor beside an unconscious IT professional while my family and friends were either egging us on or trying to break us up.
The day before my ... | 15 | 101.4 | |
1371144406 | 1371179927 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | hungarian_barbarian: TIFU by spilling a cancer-causing fluid over my lab bench.
I intern at a research lab, and today I have to make a ton of gels (sort of like jello) for a procedure called Gel Electrophoresis. I'll give a very basic summary of gel electrophoresis: It involves running DNA through a gel using electrode... | 6 | 19.166667 |
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