start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1369979901 | 1370110249 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | [deleted]: TIFU By Sleeping Through my Job Interview
So I had an interview at OfficeMax this morning at 10:00 am. I went to bed earlier than usual (I usually stay up until 3-4 am) and got everything ready for when I woke up. I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and I couldn't fall asleep for about an hour. E... | 7 | 10.714286 | |
1369981708 | 1370023708 | null | t5_2to41 | 317 | monkey678: TIFU when I accidentally flashed my boss
So earlier this week my boss informed me that he was giving me a raise. Flash forward to today I go to work and forgot to put on my belt and of course I was wearing the most loose fitting pair of shorts I own. Due to the rain I had to collect and stack all the chairs ... | 6 | 52.833333 | |
1370015515 | 1370051393 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,222 | [deleted]: TIFU 15 years of methodical, intentional, expensive, life prolonging behavior with less than one minute of reading.
1 year after my then father-in-law had quad bypass heart surgery he was scaling the wall of the grand canyon. Prior to that he could not finish 9 holes of golf. Knowing that my family history h... | 10 | 122.2 | |
1370017989 | 1370058522 | null | t5_2to41 | 594 | JaedenStormes: TIFU by oversleeping the doctor's appointment I set to determine why I'm always oversleeping
Title says it all ;(
statusisnotquo: Is there a treatable medical condition related to oversleeping? I have a lot of trouble with this too, but I figured if I sought help the doctor would just laugh and tell me t... | 8 | 74.25 | |
1370033896 | 1370049448 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by totaling my car
Man, I've only had my first car for about two months, and it's already totaled. I've only had my license for about a month, and I've already totaled a fucking car. I owe my dad a few thousand dollars for the car damage and the increase in our insurance (I'm a 17 year-old driver, fuck)... | 3 | 2 | |
1370037939 | 1370151367 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | Niftymuse_: TIFU By not reading how to take pills.
This isn't as big a fuck-up as a lot of the ones here, (they be nasty!), but nonetheless, what I have done has reduced the quality of my life significantly.
I had a mild case of eczema on my face, and was prescribed these pills by my good ol' local GP. He said to tak... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1370039706 | 1370826396 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | ussgnarr: TIFU by getting drunk and high on molly at the bar where i work and getting fired
i'd never done molly before! i didn't know i'd freak out and yell out to the whole bar that i was on molly. i had just gotten off work and all of my friends were there, about half of us took it. can't even remember most of the n... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1370040459 | 1370138257 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | Insatiable_Krill_Bat: TIFU by taking some ambien.
Ambien is a sleep aid chemically related to, but not identical, to benzodiazepines such as xanax. Last night, my GF expressed a wish for me to come to bed early because she'd had a rough day. At first, I could not oblige her request because I was pretty wired. I'd just ... | 18 | 6.388889 | |
1370046956 | 1370232244 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,416 | taylordesoto: TIFU by getting drunk and paying for a non-refundable, six-month subscription to ChristianMingle.com for $87.00
So I woke up this morning with a headache, only to see my credit card out on my desk by my computer with a website still open. Apparently I was lonely last night and had clicked on an advert fo... | 14 | 101.142857 | |
1370047386 | 1370056004 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | wealy: tifu by playing sports with my students.
I work primarily with 5th grade students. Today, being their last full day of instruction, my co teacher and I decided to take the kids out in the morning for an extra recess. The boys wanted to play football (American football) and asked if I could all time QB, not a pro... | 4 | 28 | |
1370055138 | 1370057756 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing a diaper in my room.
me and my baby share a pretty small room, and the clothes have kind of just piled up. she's 5 months, and kind of a handful. on top of taking care of her full time, pulling my weight around the house by doing chores and favors, and finally getting my high school degree, i ... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1370059872 | 1370192048 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by jumping in front of a moving car.
HELLO! IT IS ME, THE MAN OF MANY FUCKUPS.
THIS ONE'S THE WORST SO FAR! :D ENJOY MY MOTHERFUCKING PAIN.
---------------
So, I had attended all my classes today.
This means me and my best friend can hang out! :D
As I'm shaking in my seat waiting for class to be d... | 12 | 1.833333 | |
1370062050 | 1370072827 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | [deleted]: I am now a college drop out.
I will update soon. As of now my parents are upstairs fighting over me.
People use the internet everyday to post happy things. Things that make their day brighter. This is not one of those blogs. At this moment I am at the lowest of lows.
I am writing this to admit that ... | 3 | 5.333333 | |
1370068773 | 1370070585 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | exstatik: TIFU by shaving
TIFU by shaving my entire genital region including my ass crack. The worst part of it is that I work in a non climate controlled factory. The razor burn and heat rash is so unbearable right now. My attempt to be sexy for a lady friend backfired, and now it looks like I have herpes. Needless to... | 3 | 11 | |
1370074318 | 1370381885 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | clockworkgirl21: TIFU by letting a plumber and my boyfriend's dad see my period blood.
My boyfriend's house has been having plumbing problems. The toilets tend to back up and won't flush. The water does go down within a few hours, so I got my boyfriend's okay to use the toilet. He said as long as there was just one flu... | 7 | 1.571429 | |
1370086737 | 1370143386 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | cinnabon64: TIFU by getting drunk at my best friends party and vomiting in her room
It was my best friends 18th and my boyfriend and I had mutually broken up with my boyfriend so as my friends 18th was coming up I decided I would drink straight spirits.
Within the first hour I was off my face, I was smoking and when ... | 3 | 1 | |
1370095952 | 1370142643 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | [deleted]: TIFU by ridiculing the girl that I'm interested in.
While she was dwelling on where to dine out with me and our friends, I stupidly made this comment "Have tons of suggestion when not being asked to contribute, yet when being asked to contribute you have no suggestion at all." Upon hearing this, she decided ... | 4 | 8 | |
1370097724 | 1370134691 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,206 | IApproveThisUsername: TIFU a simple drug test.
In my infinite wisdom, during my first drug test, I pissed in the toilet, and then decided to sort of "scoop" the piss-water mixture out. Not like I didnt know to pee in the cup, my brain just told me to do something else. Needless to say, I feel absolutely fucking retarde... | 9 | 134 | |
1370101198 | 1370139805 | null | t5_2to41 | 93 | aznsk8s87: TIFU or Why I can't have nice things.
As an Asian, finding good fitting clothing in America is almost impossible. When my dad was visiting I had him bring me a really nice tailored shirt, because, well, I don't have any. Because it's tailored, it doesn't have material labels and such. As a result, after wear... | 7 | 13.285714 | |
1370106425 | 1370110822 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | freehugsdan: TIFU by getting a zero on my SAT2
I know most of reddit doesnt like teenagers to be on here but id like to share this story regardless. To give you a background, im a freshman in high school and the test i took was a subject test for biology; its based on information that i havnt learned yet (that i will l... | 5 | 9 | |
1370112728 | 1370374347 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by having anal for the first time.
My girlfriend was on her period and we tried anal for the first time. Long story short it ended badly (not that it was that long) with feces on me and my car. I felt disgusted and ashamed.
haleymay: She probably felt much worse and extremely embarrassed. If you have s... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1370116193 | 1370302280 | null | t5_2to41 | 97 | [deleted]: TIFU by assuming my 4 year old brother was in the shower
My mom called down today and asked for the gym bag. Just 20 minutes ago she went up to take a shower, and there's shampoo in the gym bag, and she'd recently mentioned being low on shampoo, so I assumed she needed shampoo. I walk up and I plop the gym b... | 6 | 16.166667 | |
1370124335 | 1370189718 | null | t5_2to41 | 349 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing the keys to my chastity belt [NSFW]
I'm into some pretty kinky stuff, and a while ago when I was drunk I ended up buying a chastity belt, and a sissy maid outfit. I live on my own, and I set myself a challenge for how long to keep the belt on.
I'm on day 4 now, and when I went to take it off... | 7 | 49.857143 | |
1370124540 | 1370175065 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | AnalGenocide: TIFU by almost sharing porn on Facebook.
I was 'browsing' an Imgur album that I found on /r/nsfw, when I dropped my phone. It landed on my chest, and long pressed down on an image, pressing the share button. In my haste to get out of there, I pressed 'Facebook'. Luckily, I canceled before I pressed the co... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1370129256 | 1370326661 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | bob4345: TIFU or why I'm still a virgin
So, I'm [18M] at university in the UK and I somehow finally managed to get a girl [24] back to my room (after nearly a year of trying) but did we have sex, no. We watched a film snuggled a bit. She then left at about 7 this morning.
Bud042: You make it sound like it's a bad thin... | 5 | 2.8 | |
1370141236 | 1370149567 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | scales484: TIFU by I don't even know...
So recently my life has been completely in the shit. I was academically dismissed from college and have pretty much been a fuck up mt entire life. Tonight I had a couple of friends over and my one friend brought a hookah pipe, so I said to him I don't care if you smoke it just do... | 4 | 6.25 | |
1370145485 | 1370154549 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | [deleted]: TIFU and trusted what I thought was a fart
Simply, I shat myself today, then pissed from my ass for about a minute straight. No idea what caused this unfortunate situation (probably has to do with bacon jerky that I ate yesterday though). In my mad dash to the bathroom, I forgot to take a spare pair of boxer... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1370139020 | 1370206773 | null | t5_2to41 | 168 | rubberbabybggybumper: TIFU by laughing at an inappropriate time
One of the guys I work with has a habit of making very sexual jokes all the time. It's a little difficult being around him...anything you say can and will be turned into something sexual.
So out of nowhere he says to me "my great grandpa was HUNG when he... | 5 | 33.6 | |
1370154483 | 1370263570 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | huladog: TIFU by driving home at 2AM
After telling my parents that I would come home the past few weekends, then ending up staying at college to catch up on work, I PROMISED them I would come home after my teammate and I finished our project this Friday. Little did I know that we would be working from 3:30pm-2am (with ... | 4 | 8 | |
1370178687 | 1370195741 | null | t5_2to41 | 705 | doodie_in_shower: TIFU by not sleeping enough
This is a timeline of what happened to me today..
1 AM: Decide to go to bed, say everyone good night and try to sleep.
2 AM: Finally fall asleep.
7 AM: Mobile Phone begins to go crazy, alarm is ringing at full volume, I am pissed off but I have to be at work at 8 ... | 10 | 70.5 | |
1370153215 | 1370238317 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | 1killer911: TIFU: By texting my non-redditor freinds.
So the story is somthing like this, me and my friends were texting in a group chat, and I'm using all sorts of memes that come off of reddit. They as where I got them all and I tell them I got them off of reddit. I say I've been to all sorts of places on the interne... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1370213747 | 1372197367 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,173 | digitalhawkeye: TIFU with my girlfriend's mother over Skype
Well not really today, but Friday night. I had sent my gf a couple of sex toys while she was home for the summer (we're both in college, I'm 28, she's 22), and I made her promise not to open the box till I could get on Skype with her, sort of a surprise. Wel... | 15 | 78.2 | |
1370220222 | 1370269384 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: Tifu by letting my SO read my reddit posts...
Back story (relevant, I promise): a while ago I [f,23] made a comment on a thread that I used to like guys going down on me, but have since change my mind. I dont like it anymore. It's just awkward. When i started dating my SO [m,27] a few months ago I told him t... | 5 | 8 | |
1370221418 | 1370319078 | null | t5_2to41 | 89 | ramasule: TIFU BELITTLED WIFE
Alright, so today I was giving mom a much needed break from watching our 2 month old. She put on the tv and selected some show shes never watched but it said something about gymnasts. It was this crap show about some high.school gymnastic team. Anyways for some dumb reason I start talki... | 7 | 12.714286 | |
1370221297 | 1370492984 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | SwagMasterMo: TIFU I've been using my mothers razor to shave my face.
So I go to take a shower....before I do that, I take out the razor I have been using for about 8 months now. I proceed to shave my face and take my shower. I come out and get changed. A little bit later my dad asks me Who's razor have I been using to... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1370226585 | 1370464172 | null | t5_2to41 | 62 | Skellertom: TIFU by playing flag football.
Before you say anything: I realize it's Sunday. This happened last Tuesday. I just thought I'd share this with you, since I just discovered this subreddit an hour ago.
So, I'm just your regular high schooler in an all-girl's gym class. And we all know how violent girls can ge... | 13 | 4.769231 | |
1370228396 | 1370272852 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | DarkMark3: TIFU by fingering lamps
Well, not quite today, but I recently found one of the two lamps I chose to finger as a child. Now, I wasn't quite smart in regards to electricity. I sorta thought it wasn't going to harm me. I was quite wrong. Twice.
The first of these two times was a one time thing. I was probably ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1370229374 | 1370800604 | null | t5_2to41 | 0 | penis_is_penis: TIFU by spraying deodorant on my nipples, lighting them on fire, and then quickly flicking them.
A friend told me it was supposed to feel nice; it didn't. It burned all my nipple hair off then stung like a bitch after I flicked.
points_out_manliness: lel.
penis_is_penis: penis
penis_is_penis: Pls downvt... | 4 | 0 | |
1370234051 | 1370255045 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by not using my time wisely.
This didn't happen today, it happened Friday but I just wanted to get it off my chest. So I have this class called video productions. We have a final due Tuesday and I'm working with a group to make a video. We've been behind because we had to make 3ish videos at once. But t... | 3 | 1 | |
1370244526 | 1370260233 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | reichbc: TIFU in the shower.
I got into the shower today prior to going to my ex-girlfriend's house to drop off her shit, followed by a trip to my mother's for birthday cake.
As I was lathering up my hair with an accidentally over-generous amount of [Suave Almond & Shea Butter shampoo](http://www.suave.com/product... | 3 | 24.333333 | |
1370247746 | 1370416479 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Lord_Aquaman: Sent my name, photos, address, and phone number over a craigslist scam.
I was looking for a roommate. My previous roommate left, leaving me with the rent. the rent was close to $1,000 total and I felt guilty and couldn't find anyone I knew to fill the place. So I posted an add on Craigslist.
Anyways, I g... | 3 | 1 | |
1370263252 | 1370295247 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | dunnowhatthrowaway: TIFU with a girl I really like, who's also a really good friend of mine. I Don't know what to do, what to say or how to feel. I desperately need some help and advice.
This happened yesterday, but I just need some advice or help or something. I don't even know if this the right place to post this, bu... | 5 | 5 | |
1370272248 | 1370290440 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,446 | sadtastic: TIFU by eating too many jalapenos.
I went to a Tex-Mex place down the street last night and ordered the nachos and a couple of drinks. The nachos had a liberal amount of sliced jalapenos among them. I was a little disappointed as they really weren't hot and had a more "pickled" flavor than anything. I asked ... | 7 | 206.571429 | |
1370282089 | 1370400225 | null | t5_2to41 | 154 | DomTheMighty: TIFU by not closing the bathroom door.
Let me start off by saying I got my period this week, and usually I'm smart enough to know to close the door.
I came home from class an hour ago and found my dog sleeping in the middle of the kitchen floor, which he never does unless he isn't feeling well. When I we... | 6 | 25.666667 | |
1370277243 | 1370493538 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | dragdollb: TIFU by pissing on my grandmas nightstand.
About a month ago I moved in with my uncle and he has his mother staying with him to take care of her. My cousin and I ended up getting extremely whiskey drunk last night and I allegedly walked into her room and started pissing on her night stand while she slept les... | 3 | 7 | |
1370280408 | 1370295611 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: TIFUpdate BY JUMPING IN FRONT OF A CAR!
Ok, here's the deal.
The feeling in my left leg is returning and... FUCK IT HURTS.
My cuts are starting to heal and the swelling on my head has gone down. There's some pictures of my scars but for legal reasons I can't show them... Yet.
Now, Who's up for some Car-ma... | 3 | 4 | |
1370285163 | 1370502779 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | jrocxx: TIFU by telling yo momma jokes to a kid with no mother.
So I was having lunch with some friends and this kid tagged along. He told some joke to my friend and he laughed. I decided I'd mess around with him so I went really close to his face and said "Did you hear about the one that involves me and your mom in be... | 6 | 7.666667 | |
1370290196 | 1370359139 | null | t5_2to41 | 396 | Forrest__Dump: TIFU by shitting in the wilderness.
(Throwaway in an attempt to preserve the last scraps of my dignity.) This happened to me last last week, but I still think it ought to be shared. Me and some old college buddies go on a camping trip every Memorial day weekend to catch up with one another. On this parti... | 4 | 99 | |
1370290309 | 1370621633 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Capatchadragon: TIFU by kneeing my girlfriend in the face during sex
My girlfriend and I were in the throes of passion and we decided to switch positions so she was on top. As we were moving about, somehow I managed to nail her very hard in the mouth with my knee. It ended badly.
Somehow (still proud of this), less th... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1370294419 | 1370295967 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by eating lunch and then having a second lunch an hour later
[deleted]: Get this, I do not
MostEpicRedditor: You ruined it.
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1370295665 | 1370369517 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | Captainhowarth: TIFU by almost pulling my dick off
I was just dropping off to sleep and was holding my erect dick as I dropped off.
Unfortunately I had that moment as you teeter on the edge of sleep where you feel like your falling.
By body, acting as reflex, jerked my legs and arms causing me to yank my cock hard as h... | 6 | 15.166667 | |
1370298380 | 1370307027 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | sobusyimbored: TIFU by snorting poison
I have had a really blocked nose for months and have been using Sudafed Blocked Nose Spray to get rid of it day and night. Unfortunately this stuff is really expensive at around £3.50 for a tiny bottle. I was told to use Olbas Oil as an alternative as it is a little less expensive... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1370298990 | 1370456581 | null | t5_2to41 | 216 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my mom accidentally see a picture of my fiancé and I having sex.
My fiancé and I had a drunken night out at the bars and returned to my parents house for the night where we proceeded to get down and dirty in the basement. Us being drunk and all, my fiancé took a couple pictures on my phone wh... | 6 | 36 | |
1370306313 | 1370447952 | null | t5_2to41 | 202 | patticapulet: TIFU by taking shrooms and going to a tanning salon...
after the 10 most terrifying minutes of my life... naked me fell while getting out of the tanning bed, put her clothes on inside out, forgot her shoes, and on her way out, said to the front desk lady "EVERYBODY I KNOW IS DEAD" in a slow and trembling ... | 7 | 28.857143 | |
1370304859 | 1370744672 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | goodwoolambassador: TIFU by drinking coffee with a mysterious "surprise" from my cat (+ visual proof)
Natalie the cat is a 14-year old domestic short haired calico whose human literary manifestation would be a Bronte heroine. She would love roaming the moors if it didn't mean time away from sleeping on my head. She i... | 5 | 9.6 | |
1370312961 | 1370415846 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | A7XGlock: TIFU On a field trip.
Actually a couple months ago. Forgot about it until now. I was on my school trip to DC, it was my first time going there so I was pumped. We went to see all of the main touristy attractions (this is day one) then lastly we go on this big yacht. It is pretty popular but I do not remember ... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1370310652 | 1370370720 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | [deleted]: TIFU and watched porn while on VPN
I was just minding my business. I logged in to VPN from my home to check on some work while listening to some music on youtube. During a moment of insanity, I opened porn in incognito mode with VPN still running. Now I am at my wits end about showing up to work, since few m... | 4 | 10 | |
1370317652 | 1370367034 | null | t5_2to41 | 372 | nukelauncher95: TIFU by being an inconsiderate asshole
Hey Reddit. You guys might not remember me, but I was the guy who almost killed my best friend by giving her a hug. [TIFU By Hugging My Best Friend](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1ax8x8/tifu_by_hugging_my_best_friend/) Anyways, it happened again with a diff... | 5 | 74.4 | |
1370320546 | 1370895177 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | Mordit: TIFU by trying to disinfect a scab
So, I'm some pansy-ass clumsy-ass man, so somehow I end up tripping and scraping up my knee, classic scab kinda scrape. So I'm also the kind of pansy man who prefers baths over showers. Yeah, I know, I'm such a fucking alpha-male right? And know it's not some bubbly bath, it's... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1370329481 | 1370387262 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | [deleted]: TIFU I rubbed Nair all over my genitalia
I rubbed Nair all over my body, including my dick, balls, shaft, tip all of it. I assumed it's a harmless cream that removes hair, I didn't read instructions. I left on my whole body for 15 mintunes and got a chemical burn. I'm badly burnt everywhere and have no hair.... | 6 | 13 | |
1370334644 | 1370366845 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | Hoelt: TIFU by writing about the 'speed of time' in a special relativity class.
Hey y'all, a small but stupid fuckup. I'm in an intro special relativity class, so this entire term we've been talking about the constancy of the speed of light and the consequences of this being true.
We had a test the other day, which I ... | 4 | 15.25 | |
1370323967 | 1370358437 | null | t5_2to41 | 426 | HaydenTheFox: TIFU by cooking the skin off of my fingers.
Reddit, I come to you today to (gingerly) recount the events that made me realize I am one dumb motherfucker. This happened about an hour ago and I am still in immense amounts of pain because of my fuckup (like, breaking my arm doesn't even hold a candle to this... | 4 | 106.5 | |
1370293532 | 1370464542 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | theslowwonder: TIFU by running out of Ritalin
This morning I noticed my typically snuggest jeans fit much looser. Weight loss isn't good for me and it takes a lot of effort and appetite to not look scrawny. Every time I had to pull my waist up, I'd get depressed thinking of how I'm wasting away like Christian Bale in T... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1370336609 | 1370447753 | null | t5_2to41 | 109 | [deleted]: Tifu by destroying the evidence of fapfest3000.
Ah finaly home alone. Its the second day of my summerholiday, and I decided to keep a massive fapfest.
After around 2-3 hours, the party was over.
So i decided to destroy the evidence by burning them in the fireplace.
It went as planned, until the fireplace st... | 10 | 10.9 | |
1370356593 | 1370537173 | null | t5_2to41 | 791 | ShitMyselfToday: TIFU by shitting myself
Today I am not a proud man.
It started like any other day when I work in the evening. I tried to get myself out of bed early to enjoy more of the day. It's a beautiful weather today. Sun is shining and not a cloud in the sky. I got up. I ate breakfast. Browsed reddit for a whil... | 10 | 79.1 | |
1370364927 | 1370538413 | null | t5_2to41 | 290 | HecticHeretic: TIFU getting a staple out of a cork board.
In my house there is a cork board that is used to attach various things to (no shit its a corkboard) but at some point something had got stapled in that wasn't relevant anymore so I decided to get the staple remover to attempt to take the staples outs. Gave it a... | 7 | 41.428571 | |
1370374485 | 1370439749 | null | t5_2to41 | 99 | Myasshurtsthrowaway: Do I reset the counter or?
Some background info for all of you: every night I take gentle laxatives, but two nights ago I may have forgotten to take it.
So this morning I awake eat some breakfast and felt "The Beast."
I was looking forward to that sense of relief one usually assumes after a shit, ... | 6 | 16.5 | |
1370382971 | 1370461770 | null | t5_2to41 | 219 | ouchthathurt2: TIFU by dry sex
So me and my girlfriend were getting into it and well, she wasn't exactly as wet as needed. We proceed to do the hokey pokey and I feel a pop. I tell her to get off and I'm bleeding. A lot. I start to freak out and realize what happened. I tore my frenulum. We clean it up and try to figur... | 12 | 18.25 | |
1370383966 | 1370535962 | null | t5_2to41 | 291 | bmcnult19: TIFU when my girlfriend said she didn't feel attractive
It was actually around a year ago. Me and my GF were on a cruise with her family(3 younger brothers, two of which were 6 and 7 years old, and her parents) and the oldest brother's best friend. We were alone in the "old kids room", which housed me and ... | 8 | 36.375 | |
1370392856 | 1370399679 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | AnotherDayLeftBehind: TIFU by going rock climbing.
Today started out like any other day. I woke up, made myself bacon and eggs on a bagel, and called up a buddy to chill. We decided we wanted to go rock climbing, so i grabbed my gear and made my way to pick him up.
Forces of the universe were clearly against us going ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1370392457 | 1370545509 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | Catsy_Brave: TIFU by not checking my business cards.
Had to order business cards within a short amount of time for a presentation in one of my classes. Panic because yesterday the guy says they're the wrong dimensions. Remake them send them, yeah, they're okay, awesome. Get here at 8am and I open the box. Looks good.
... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1370400536 | 1370533448 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | Kelseykiwi: TIFU getting ice coffee.
I went to 7Elven to get smokes and an ice coffee, no big deal. Except I was kinda high which made me paranoid and kinda clumsy.
So I'm standing at the ice coffee machine beside a guy and his maybe 12 year old son while they get big gulps. Me being the stoned idiot I am, I start th... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1370401272 | 1370404222 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | HaydenTheFox: Update: TIFU by cooking the skin off my fingers. [NSFW nasty dead skin blisters]
Okay, so since you sick fucks wanted pictures I figured I'd deliver. My index finger has a couple blisters on it but my middle/ring fingers are the worst. Keep in mind that these are not blisters that have popped - I actually... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1370397914 | 1370484343 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | bob6725: by thinking "I can do this"
I was in my parents garage attempting to get my golf clubs from the attic. So I grab a six foot ladder, which I thought would be enough from the barn. I set the ladder up and climb to that very top step. You know, the one that says Don't Stand Here. Realized "Shit I'm still not gonn... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1370408239 | 1370449243 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,433 | CouchEnthusiast: TIFU by accidentally ripping the dick off an insect
I have a summer job working with insects in a lab. I do a lot of repetitive lab technician type work that includes changing the foliage (i.e. bug food) we have in a bunch of these modified plastic slushie cups that we've turned into cages, each with a... | 11 | 221.181818 | |
1370416888 | 1370462770 | null | t5_2to41 | 79 | jessilynnzee: tifu my whole life up at work.
At the restaurant I work at, we have nightly side work that has to be done before we can go home. On Tuesdays, we empty the pepper shakers, run the shakers through dish, and in the morning they refill them and put them back on the tables. Tonight, by chance, I was the closer... | 8 | 9.875 | |
1370430028 | 1370532820 | null | t5_2to41 | 196 | [deleted]: TIFU by falling over breaking both my arms, my leg, my ankle as well as rupturing my appendix
So this starts off in the morning right before I am about to go to school. I am walking to the bus stop when I trip over and put out my arms to break my fall. I look down at my arm since it hurt like hell and realis... | 10 | 19.6 | |
1370450292 | 1370555657 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | ISatNaked: TIFU by sitting naked on the couch
Throwaway~
My roommate was out doing stuff with their family and I was washing my laundry with nothing clean to wear, and having just got out of the shower and dried myself I wanted to play some video games. I fired up the TV and started playing a game thinking that my roo... | 7 | 3.142857 | |
1370453282 | 1370478779 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: Double booking betrayal
So I work for two different places and my girlfriend runs one of them. I double booked myself today and got both ends of a yelling screaming rage out from both bosses. Came this close to losing both jobs but I'm pretty sure my girlfriend is going to fire me. I'm friends with most of t... | 4 | 2 | |
1370451224 | 1370548805 | null | t5_2to41 | 426 | awesomecanadian: Today I fucked up by poking a squirrel...
This was actually a couple of years back when I was working as a security guard at a construction site. There was nothing happening on Sundays but we still had to be there to make sure that nobody messed with the equipment or entered the site. Anyway, I was b... | 6 | 71 | |
1370452826 | 1370462062 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | oogieboogie1996: TIFU by stuffing my face full of sour candy
let me start by establishing, I'm not a smart person.
After a great day at the mall with my sister, we decided to end our trip with some 25 cent candy. My sister immediately went for a handful of M&M's, while I took more time deciding on my treat. G... | 4 | 1 | |
1370457714 | 1370533658 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | WonTonBurritoMeals: TIFU a potential job in my dream city by calling a woman Mister.
Been in the dumps the last few months, and I was just starting to climb out. Been unemployed for a month, and prior to that was under-employed by far. Had a mini breakdown, at its worst there were entire days where I couldnt leave my b... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1370459247 | 1370524657 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Kaderpy: TIFU by calling the wrong number for Sony customer service.
I'll apologize in advance for lack of formatting and whatnot, as I'm typing this on my phone.
I bought a Sony Vaio E series back in march that was suppose to come with Sony Imagination Studio programs. I came to find that it in fact does not have th... | 4 | 4 | |
1370466679 | 1370487546 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | bigtrouble33: TIFU by getting caught for a senior prank.
We took bottles of soap and glitter and put it on some kids' cars. We also put silly string too. We laugh then leave. The driver goes back and picks up his lil sis, people are pissed,he gets interrogated and cracks, he texts me saying that he *tried*. Principal a... | 9 | 1.222222 | |
1370464533 | 1370541221 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,026 | [deleted]: by telling my girlfriend to explore her lesbian side.
BEGA500: I feel like there is some fable about chasing 2 rabbits and getting none that applies here.
[deleted]: Or a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But whatever OP, you dodged a bullet. This is way better than if you find out after you're mar... | 10 | 102.6 | |
1370467299 | 1370712914 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Captainhowarth: TIFU by finding passport information
Not really my fuck up. Two, friends one today and one a month ago have uploaded passport information to Facebook. I think they really fucked up,but no doubt I'm about to visit down vote hell because its not my fuck up.
TripleThreat13: In no way did you do anything wr... | 3 | 1 | |
1370477200 | 1370536755 | null | t5_2to41 | 266 | rrims: TIFU by deleting the voice mail from a future employer
Backstory: I'm very heavily into computers. It's been my life since I was a kid. And due to brain tumor in my Sr year of high school, which caused me to drop out, I never really got into the work force. I've had small side-jobs and cash jobs. But nothing I w... | 7 | 38 | |
1370481038 | 1371065783 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | eggstorys: TIFU with a pellet gun.
(This was actually on Sunday)
I had just got off work, and had just started shooting cans from my the front porch, sitting in a recliner.
I was using my left foot to steady the barrel, and I was focusing so much on the little red dot.. I did not pay any attention to what was in fron... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1370484638 | 1370541270 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | woolife: Tifu by shitting at a Canadian natural wonder.
This happened a while ago but I'm posting anyways because it is something my boyfriend never let me live down and something that has changed me forever.
My boyfriend and I decided to make the move to Lake Louise, Alberta and got jobs at the Fairmont. Upon arriving... | 5 | 16 | |
1370492901 | 1370494719 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | inspiwhat: TIFU by eating a seafood dinner
I had a nice seafood dinner this evening consisting of crab, scallops, and shrimp. Everything seemed fine when I finished eating (my stomach grumbled a bit, but it's to be expected since I don't eat seafood very often).
A few hours go by and I'm sitting at my computer watchin... | 4 | 15 | |
1370489015 | 1370502084 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | itsjustkimagain: TIFU by forgetting to get a signature on a WIC voucher.
I'm a cashier at a grocery store. Lady comes in at rush hour, 3 screaming babies, 6 different WIC vouchers. She gets some of the wrong items, has to go back and get the correct ones, a line of impatient people has formed. Does the "well, I boug... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1370477783 | 1370504802 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Taega: tifu smoking while driving
now my entire car is totalled :/
great start to summer
Marmadukian: How did you total your car? I normally have perfect driving while I'm smoking. I'd like to know so I can possibly learn from your fuckup.
Please expand your story and this be a much better TIFU post.
kmcallister7: ^^... | 3 | 1 | |
1370501191 | 1370502230 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: I think I potentially fucked up.
Basically this girl posted a Ask.fm url on Facebook. me and my friends were messing around and i told her i was a random person then actually made a fb page and a fake number just to txt her. if she does find out its me, her younger sister is in my grade. Am i fucked? someone... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1370511147 | 1370534741 | null | t5_2to41 | 43 | KKKKlaus: TIFU: Crashed on a motorbike. Sometimes full gear does not help.
NSFW: [Pictures speak a thousand words?](https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/252628_10150205360493480_6274247_n.jpg)
Old, bald, and cracking rear tire. Dove into the corner quickly, rear washed out, I got dragged by the bike... | 3 | 14.333333 | |
1370524370 | 1370566222 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,247 | OrgyOrganizer: TIFU by having a quickie before dinner.
The boyfriend and I were meeting a bunch of friends for dinner last night but we had 20 minutes before our ride was coming so of course we decided to bang. Towards the end I tell him to finish in my mouth because I still had a shirt on. Commence some seriously aggr... | 10 | 124.7 | |
1370525031 | 1370539310 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | je_jette: TIFU by wearing a cock ring
Sometimes I use a ring to keep my situation rigid while I'm enjoying some alone time. I guess I left it on too long today, because now there's this big swollen bit that's really uncomfortable. Looks like a really big blister, but it's not. Fucking hurts.
smoike: Ouchie, not to be c... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1370532472 | 1370542694 | null | t5_2to41 | 233 | impossible_germany: Yifu; tifu
Arejayy: Okay so wait you're the girlfriend, posting on his behalf saying that he fucked up by not signing out of reddit on your ipad?
impossible_germany: Correct
Xscepi: This doesn't even seem like that big a deal looking at the account. Where did he fuck up?
Sideshow_Slob: This must me... | 6 | 38.833333 | |
1370534619 | 1370566320 | null | t5_2to41 | 112 | CalamityCocksucker: TIFU by posting a story about dick sucking and period blood and forgot to use my rather ironic novelty account.
Facepalm.
[deleted]: Your novelty accounts name is more ironic than calamity cocksucker?
skatterbug: /u/calamityCocksucker is the ironically names novelty account of /u/orgyorganizer
Thou... | 7 | 16 | |
1370539350 | 1370567422 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | rileytp: TIFU by using too much Bengay
I applied a liberal amount on my legs, specifically my thighs and calves, after an intense leg work out. Ten minutes later, I had to take a dump. After I stood up and pulled up my underwear, the Bengay on my legs was squeegeed on to my penis and testicles by the underwear. Jump... | 6 | 2.5 | |
1370543193 | 1370819804 | null | t5_2to41 | 72 | TOMASAW: TIFU by pissing directly on my laptop
So yesterday me and my friends decided Wednesday was a good day to get wasted. Everything is fine and dandy until about 3:30 am when my drunk alter ego bob decides to show up. Bob thinks it is a great idea to chug two beers. Keep in mind at this point I'm already 9 beers d... | 6 | 12 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.