start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1372257672 | 1372283334 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | [deleted]: TIFU by not wearing my jumper in France.
*NINJA EDIT* - We say Jumper in Ireland, I mean Sweater / Hoodie for those of you in America
So I'm just back from a 5 day festival trip to Hellfest Metal festival in France, and I'm a walking corpse.
I had a cold going over that I didn't think twice about, but it ... | 9 | 3.666667 | |
1372265319 | 1372273523 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | roadheadftw: TIFU by getting a blowjob on the way to work
Throwaway time.
So I carpool with a nice lady that I work with. We will occasionally have some fun on the way to and from work. Sometimes it's pulling over to the side of the highway for a quickie, sometimes it's good old fashioned road head. Today was one of t... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1372262388 | 1372283817 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | [deleted]: TIFU by spending 400 dollars on an exterminator, knowing in advance I am moving.
So the day before yesterday I found bedbugs in the apartment I just moved into. Knowing in advance the sad excuse for broker's office and management won't do anything about it, and that the other tenants are too insane to help t... | 3 | 5 | |
1372273462 | 1372281632 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU by damaging at $35 million painting hanging in my office.
I work at a company with an untraditional workplace. On the wall above my computer is a massive pink abomination of modern art valued at $35 million. Today I accidentally knocked it off the wall causing a 3 inch tear in the canvas.
ProlapsimusMa... | 4 | 2 | |
1372279428 | 1372445001 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | [deleted]: TIFU while playing a game with my GF and using an item that displays your "My Pictures" folder. Including the hidden pictures.
I got "Little Inferno" in a humble bundle recently and decided to try it out because my girlfriend wanted to watch me play video games.
Everything is going well for about 15 minutes... | 6 | 11.833333 | |
1372303322 | 1372393486 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,346 | Ohfuckitstuck255: TIFU by getting a wiffle ball stuck in my vagina
Before I begin, know that I am a teenage girl.
The catastrophe took place this morning while I was masturbating.
There I was, on the soft, carpeted floor of my bedroom, mid-fap (schlick?). Reclining comfortably next to me was a golf ball sized wiffle ... | 10 | 134.6 | |
1372311892 | 1372323624 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | bethany_334433: My dad caught me with his friend
elfa82: Are you considered a minor in the UK? Could the friend possibly face jail time if your dad presses charges?
bethany_334433: Nope. Age of consent in UK is 16.
I'm not a victim of abuse - I seduced him.
elfa82: Just curious as here in the US it is 18 and even if... | 7 | 6.857143 | |
1372318874 | 1372487297 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | delofan: TIFU by having the cops check out my parked car because I was giving a blowjob AND got a flat tire because I was giving a handjob.
Title says it all really. I was driving my friend with benefits home tonight and we had some extra time, so we stopped, pulled in behind a dumpster in an empty industrial park. I g... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1372316467 | 1372330026 | null | t5_2to41 | 111 | ClaranceWhirly: TIFU twice when an old lady came into the ER with ticks INSIDE her vagina.
At just after midnight a fairly obese elderly woman in a muumuu approached the emergency room desk and, being obviously hard of hearing, stated rather loudly that she had ticks INSIDE of her vagina and would like to have them rem... | 6 | 18.5 | |
1372337065 | 1372339950 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | ThatGuyPie: TIFU: GF Fuck Up
Oh god I am going to regret this when everyone from school sees my Reddit post but here goes:
Okay, this was yesterday, but whatever...
I am a 13 y/o male in grade 7. I am already in a relationship with a girl, but yesterday went horribly wrong. Lets call my gf "A" and the other girl "B"
... | 7 | 0.285714 | |
1372343219 | 1372384930 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | ryan_the_leach: Ask TIFU, whats your Pro Life Tips learnt the hard way.
I'm guessing the top 2 are likely
1. Don't trust a fart.
2. Don't do anything weird with your genitals.
Mine: Use the toilet brush side to side, not up and down, otherwise shit can flick into your face.
totallynotmyalterego: Number three: Never u... | 5 | 10.6 | |
1372348749 | 1372425359 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | deutschbag17: TIFU by trying to get rid of fruit flies in my kitchen
So it's summer and the past few weeks have been hot and muggy as hell. My roommates and I collect all of our biodegradable trash such as fruit peels, vegetables, etc. in a trash can under the sink. Now these rotting fruits and vegetables naturally att... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1372335793 | 1372358042 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | MrPoliceGaming: TIFU by putting of that niggling feeling of needing to poop for 5 hours.
Ok so I write this from the toilet having narrowly avoided spilling my butt mud into my pants but let's Tarantino that shit and go way back to the start of the story.
This week I am on night shift working 2300-0700. Normally I cat... | 6 | 15 | |
1372351238 | 1372352927 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | GordonsFoodShitter: TIFU by shitting my pants at work
Throwaway account obviously... I work at Gordons Food Service as you can tell by my username. Had some funky taco sauce for lunch before work and then proceeded to get all dressed up in my polo shirt, tan dress pants, and red work apron. About an hour into my shift ... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1372353294 | 1372714529 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | stinkycretingurl: TIFU by thinking the 27th was tomorrow and not today.
TIFU is one of my favorite subs and today I finally have something terrible and stupid to contribute to the wonder of this subreddit. No alt account, either. Let this TIFU be tied to me forever.
So I had my first interview with a job three weeks... | 5 | 2 | |
1372353427 | 1372541652 | null | t5_2to41 | 159 | soupofthegods: TIFU by getting a boner around kids.
I work at a day camp and I was with the 2nd grade class and had a kid sitting on my lap. We just started an activity and the girl running it was super hot. So my penis starts swelling like never before, and the kid on my lap is completely oblivious.... Until he moves ... | 11 | 14.454545 | |
1372352858 | 1372410229 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,576 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting myself at work
I have been subscribed to this sub for many moons, and I have read many cringe-worthy shitting stories here. I laughed at them, but I knew in my heart of hearts that it would never happen to me. I have a sphincter of steel. My butthole is as tight as an Amishman's and as secur... | 11 | 234.181818 | |
1372357650 | 1372610652 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | rpilks: TIFU by walking miles past my job interview, and I also walked into a big meeting.
I'd just applied for a job in Telecom Engineering at a local place (About 2 ½ miles walk from home, estimated that it'd take me about 45-50 minutes). I set off at 8:50 with the aim to get there about 20 minutes early. All went we... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1372351886 | 1372452930 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | maltme: TIFU when I sent a link to a gay bondage video to my roommate.
My roommate and I frequently send hilarious imgur links back and forth over text message while we are at work. Since we are both redditors we have plenty of material. I tried to copy and paste the Paula Dean imgur on the front page of r/funny to hi... | 3 | 10 | |
1372372716 | 1372375659 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | totallynotmyalterego: [Suggestion] A TIFU "Shitless" week.
A week with no posts about shit. I know that this might be hard for you reddit, but I'm honestly getting tired of hearing about your excrement or how you accidentally dispose of it in public. I'm sure I can't be the only one who is tired of this shit by now (ba... | 5 | 15.6 | |
1372375694 | 1372393691 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | sgtlobster06: TIFU by swallowing Listerine mouthwash because I instinctively thought it was a shot of alcohol.
AMA!!
Siriuslyman: How long have you been an alcoholic?
sgtlobster06: almost 2 years!
chockfulloffeels: I used to do this to when I was an alcoholic. I couldn't use mouthwash because of the instinct.
sgtlobste... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1372381639 | 1372396768 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by crashing my car 500 miles from home
I happen to be visiting a city 500+ miles away from my hometown to see my girlfriend. This didn't happen today, but a major fuck up did happen a few days ago in some light rain.
I was driving down what we will call Satan's Asshole Rd., which has a [super sharp ben... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1372379582 | 1372465653 | null | t5_2to41 | 117 | BookOfTheDead: TIFU by shoving concentrated nicotine juice into my ear canal.
Gonna go out on a limb and say this probably hasn't happened to anyone else.
So I've gotten pretty enthusiastic about vaping lately; for those unfamiliar, vaping or vaporizing is the term for "smoking" an electronic cigarette (/r/electronic_... | 4 | 29.25 | |
1372377391 | 1372384477 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | TheSilverCenturion: TIFU by trying to smell nice.
My family and I are on a six day camping trip. We decided to run home to take showers (we aren't experienced campers). I forgot my deodorant at the camp site and began to smell a little BO. Being very self-conscious about BO, I had to think of something fast before I l... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1372386310 | 1372442056 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | Promop: TIFU At a new job
TIFU at work by selling a printer to a man for thirty minutes only to have him ring up his credit card and press cancel and try to ring it out with cash. Without taking his cash not realizing what He did then sending him on his way with a free printer :/
elshroom: Speak to me in my office. You... | 3 | 15.666667 | |
1372396996 | 1372397599 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by remembering to close the windows in my new car.
I remembered to close the windows because my step-dad yelled at me about making sure I remembered to close the windows in case it rained. However I forgot to close the sunroof.
Guess what happened.
(If you guessed massive downpour, you are correct.)
s... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1372403270 | 1372699428 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | avilavita: TIFU by asking an American where she was from.
Me: White, standard American accent, college-aged person.
Her: Black, African accent, middle-aged person. (Yes I know there is no one African accent, what I mean is that I don't know which one it is.)
This person has a very strong accent. She's also one of my... | 8 | 10.75 | |
1372403602 | 1372655789 | null | t5_2to41 | 155 | torsal: TIFU by consuming a lot of ants
To explain some of my motives, i'll start with last night. I returned to my apartment late in the night, incredibly drunk. Before I went to sleep, I thought it would be responsible to fill the largest glass we owned with water for the morning. After getting my water, I saw some... | 4 | 38.75 | |
1372405846 | 1372422946 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | RickAstley666: TIFU by trying to masterbate after being sick
I had a stomach ache, and my mom was putting medicine on my stomach. It was similar to icy hot, and I didn't realize I had some on my hand. It still hurts. somebody pls halp
ClaranceWhirly: Olive oil.
(& stop getting so excited when your Mom rubs you stom... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1372425416 | 1372483056 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | random_rockette: TIFU at work -- feel like the worse employee ever
More like yesterday, but what ever.
I was having a really good week. I was putting effort into my work for once, I was showing up on time, and doing what I was supposed to do. I was even enjoying myself. I was also training a new waitress, and helping ... | 7 | 2.714286 | |
1372448138 | 1372451356 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | Whydididodelilah: TIFU by going on an incest binge
Title explains it all really, but I'll go into depth.
I have these females cousins who in my opinion are smoking hot, like seriously fit...one night I was staying over my 2nd cousins house for the night because my parents were out and couldn't trust me in the house al... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1372446006 | 1372486876 | null | t5_2to41 | 432 | korinthia: TIFU getting rubbing alcohol on perforated ear drum
This happened to me while I was in highschool. Unbeknownst to me I had perforated my ear drum somehow. In P.E. we were in the midst of the swimming unit. I have a long history of swimmers ear, so when I got out of the pool and couldnt get the water out of... | 8 | 54 | |
1372447321 | 1372501825 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,113 | olgaslam: TIFU by eating chips, not even naked.
Not using a throwaway account because I didn't get explosive diarrhea in front of people. Anyways.
I was sitting in my grandma's house, eating her chips because shit, I'm a hungry teenager. All was going well, until a crumb missed my mouth. Oh, I'll just find it on my shi... | 11 | 101.181818 | |
1372452833 | 1372478500 | null | t5_2to41 | 274 | Long_Drive: TIFU by complimenting my roommate's girlfriend (also i could use some help)
Backstory: So im in UCF in the summer B session (just started) with 3 other roommates (apartment style)
One of my roommates (lets call him jack) brings (who i assume is) his girlfriend over last night and they basically stay in hi... | 8 | 34.25 | |
1372254159 | 1372509710 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | valsparr: TIFU by slathering my toothbrush with a decent sized layer of SoftSoap Shea Butter hand soap and not realizing it until my toothbrush was already in my mouth.
It's true. I woke up, headed to the bathroom, washed my face, opened up the toothpaste, placed it right next to me on the sink and then proceeded to m... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1372464216 | 1372466847 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: [TIFU] By "playing the game" horribly wrongly with the right woman, and horribly well with the wrong woman. Note: Great case-study of how we all "play the game" whether we like it or not.
I'll try to keep this as short as possible
About a month and a half ago I'm out at a bar with some friends. It's a cowb... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1372460110 | 1372470492 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by ordering chocolate from amazon, getting it shipped UPS, and living in Louisiana.
I ordered some beautiful Lindsor truffles from Amazon. I now have a bag of melted chocolate.
Rosenkrantz_: At least you didn't shit yourself.
hovopotter: This. Good one :)
| 3 | 6.666667 | |
1372479877 | 1372521560 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | eiridel: TIFU by coughing so hard I threw up on the kitchen counter... and the cat.
Some backstory: I've been visiting my parents in Maine for the last month, and was supposed to fly home to California today, but about five days ago I developed a nasty case of viral bronchitis. Coupled with my asthma, I am way too sick... | 4 | 28.75 | |
1372480929 | 1372630212 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | LizardTongue: TIFU by sitting on cacti
preface; This happened some time before I heard of /r/TIFU (ie not today)
The time of year had once again rolled around for my Army Cadets unit to go hiking. Therefore, off we went for the weekend to the nearest government-owned land, an army base three hours away. I don't real... | 6 | 2.166667 | |
1372481395 | 1372638039 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | freshbeat: TIFU- By jizzing into my own armpit.
Long story short...
It had been about 2 weeks, and I needed to crank one out. I begin the ritual as usual. I start getting more vigorous as the session progresses and start to lean back more in my chair. As I reached for the paper towels (not tissues...I wasn't fucking ... | 5 | 5 | |
1372490530 | 1372729794 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | gerusz: TIFU by trying to rescue my hard drive
Well, I've been fucking this up since Thursday, but the terminal fuckup happened today.
So my pretty old laptop has a pretty old hard drive (according to S.M.A.R.T^1, it has been on for 24000 hours; the drive itself is 4 years old or so). For the last months it started ac... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1372501601 | 1372583201 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | MasterFasth: TIFU by using a cue-tip.
Do you guys ever get a bunch of annoying ear wax?
Well, tonight I did, and it was really starting to annoy me, because it was hampering my hearing.
So I decided to use a cue-tip, to try and get it out. Then I noticed that instead of helping, I pushed it further in making my heari... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1372504447 | 1372564634 | null | t5_2to41 | 388 | QueefingCreampie: TIFU By queefing out my first creampie through my trousers.
Okay, new boyfriend, everything is wonderful, I'm at his parent's house with him in the games room and things are getting steamy. The games room is at the back of the house and his parents are in the front room watching TV.
Being the young ... | 12 | 32.333333 | |
1372500612 | 1372521385 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | zsyylpmh: TIFU (Yesterday) by not fixing my bad habit
So I was at a cafe with a group of friends yesterday, and they are all having fun taking pictures. Now, I have a really bad habit of having my head down and looking up with my eyes, never really affected me but anyway, the real issue starts is that one of my friends... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1372515249 | 1372641880 | null | t5_2to41 | 550 | reddisentevil: TIFU going for a run, being carried back inside
So i decided to go for a run this afternoon to expel some energy after playing playstation. My drive way is kinda steep and it had been raining this morning. anyways, as i jog down the driveway i twist my ankle and slide down the driveway in agony and have ... | 7 | 78.571429 | |
1372525870 | 1372603559 | t3_1hbbzg | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: But oh well, I was already past her anyway.
LaLunaPea33: Why post to TIFU if you "were past her?" Clearly it nagged at you enough to post about.
[deleted]: Because YOLO
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1372536857 | 1372557648 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | elsombrerocubano: TIFU by using my computer drunk
So yesterday I went to a club and got really hammered. We went back to my apartment for an after party but I was too drunk and people left because I was falling asleep. Instead of doing what any sane person would do and call it a night, I kept drinking and convinced mys... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1372525716 | 1372553427 | null | t5_2to41 | 119 | DrSillyBitchez: TIFU by hitting an SUV
This actually happened a few weeks ago but i felt the need to share. So i'm riding my bike home from work with my friend. We have this massive steep hill in our neighborhood and we usually race down it. The hill has a steep part thats about 400 yards then flattens out for a bit th... | 4 | 29.75 | |
1372535308 | 1372555578 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | tifu_dickpics: TIFU by forgetting to remove the mail account I use to send dick pics and solicit anonymous sex
Long story short, I let my cousin use my laptop and when I got it back, I saw my mail client open on my throwaway email account. Every message was pretty much there for him to see, from my dick pics to Craigsl... | 3 | 17.666667 | |
1372542467 | 1372618980 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | OffissaPup: TIFU by not thoroughly checking out my "bargain" buy
This is a second half a TIFU (I'll spare everyone the other). I wanted a wet/dry shop vac for my garage, and bought a bargain one at a liquidator/take-back outlet store. I got it for about half what I would have paid brand new, but part of the deal was ... | 3 | 9 | |
1372523188 | 1374246637 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | I_am_chris_dorner: Drunk as piss. Lost my work ID, my credit card and my bus pass.
I'm pretty upset.
PandaP00p: *smacks you*
THE HELL MAN
D1ckch1ck3n: biotch.
PandaP00p: Hoe
I_am_chris_dorner: p00p eater!
PandaP00p: You're a poopoo eater.
I_am_chris_dorner: You're a butt sniffer.
PandaP00p: You're a butt scratcher. ... | 11 | 1.363636 | |
1372549749 | 1372555238 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | Taciturn_desultory: Tifu by fapping in the morning.
I woke up this morning pretty early, around 6-6:30 am and wasn't sure what to do until my 9am Uni lecture. Having not fapped in a few weeks, I thought it was a great idea. Skip ahead 25 minutes, I've finished and threw away the cum tissue. I decided to lay back in bed... | 3 | 22.666667 | |
1372567971 | 1372760223 | t3_1hc8vx | t5_2to41 | 566 | MrPoliceGaming: He was really fit and the lead singer of a band.
Wow it's like I'm overhearing an 11 year old girls slumber party.
grape_juice_nigz: [According to her post history, you weren't far off.](http://www.reddit.com/r/MakeNewFriendsHere/comments/1gztkn/16fuk_preferably_people_in_winchester/)
Delror: She's...s... | 17 | 33.294118 | |
1372558676 | 1372726234 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | siren_sang: TIFU By taking a medication without knowing I would have a severe hallucinogenic reaction to it
I have been prescribed a lot of medication due to seizure disorders, anxiety, sleeping disorders, muscle spasms and many more that I don't feel like indulging into.
My doctor prescribed me Zanaflex(Tizanidine) ... | 5 | 13.6 | |
1372555187 | 1372575208 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | [deleted]: TIFU by not appreciating a rainbow.
So I'm in the middle of a game of Forza Horizon when my mom tells me that a rainbow has formed in the clouds. I say, "Meh, it'll be quick" and go outside. I simply say "Nice, it's pretty" and go back inside at a brisk pace.
Well, TIL that rainbows have godlike powers. As... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1372561206 | 1372635517 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by drinking a spider
I could drag this story out, but I will try to make is short. I went to go meet my mentor who I trained under for my internship after 2 months of no contact. We were grilling up some burgers and drinking a few beers when I took as swig and felt something hard on my lip. I swallow an... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1372563438 | 1372619540 | null | t5_2to41 | 593 | Porso9: TIFU by falling asleep in English class and farting myself awake.
So I'm a regular highschool kid who has trouble figuring out when he needs to go to bed. I usually end up going to bed at around 2:30, so I don't stay awake easily in class. English class is particularly boring. We were watching a movie becaus... | 6 | 98.833333 | |
1372574320 | 1372804552 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | imthecrabman: TIFU by masturbating in the shower.
So throwaway for obvious reasons,
For the past week or so, I have been waxing the cyclops in the shower everyday, using your basic shampoo as a lubricant. So all is good, I'm happy, satisfied, throughout the entire week.
Then I woke up this morning. I was laying in b... | 5 | 9.8 | |
1372587348 | 1372609100 | null | t5_2to41 | 54 | TheFork101: TIFU by taking a picture of a cactus
This was actually last year, but I felt the need to share.
Last year my family went on a trip out west to see a whole bunch of canyons. We were with a very nice tour company, Tauck, and the rest of our family still hadn't arrived. Our hotel was in Phoenix, and the dese... | 4 | 13.5 | |
1372595306 | 1372692571 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Serromi: TIFU by falling asleep on the couch without a shirt on.
Firstly, I am a lady, which funnily enough, includes boobs.
Took some sleeping pills last night to help me get to sleep, I find it hard to sleep lately. The effects of the pills still hit me all day today, I was super drowsy, so I laid down in our front... | 5 | 4.6 | |
1372594120 | 1372596854 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | GymLeaderMisty: TIFU by flipping the dinghy
So to start, I am the office manager for a small sailing school run by my fiance and two close friends Tyler and Kyle. We do dinghy and keel boat lessons. My fiance and two friends are all licensed captains, and have been sailing for years. I have been sailing for two years. ... | 3 | 2 | |
1372596995 | 1372738586 | null | t5_2to41 | 248 | Dynomind: TIFU by not looking inside my pants before putting them on.
When I was taking a shower today I'd left my clean pants on the floor of the bathroom. Once done with my showering, I get out, dry off, and put my clothes on. Everything is proceeding as expected when I suddenly feel something crawling about in the c... | 12 | 20.666667 | |
1372603868 | 1372605895 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Darkage096: TIFU By throwing up on my cousins bedroom floor.
This happened last night. I drank quite a bit. And my cousins getting married today. Well I am staying at my cousins house which is the brides sister. My cousin wasn't going to be home until the morning. So I slept in her bed. Naturally since I was very drunk... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1372602282 | 1372627633 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,862 | WeaselScout: TIFU by using a numbing condom.
(DISCLAIMER) [this happened to a friend, not me. I am writing it in his perspective]
I saw these condoms at the store that numb your penis to make you last longer. Because I was hanging out with my girlfriend later I decided to get them. Once my girlfriend and I started mak... | 12 | 155.166667 | |
1372602734 | 1372741545 | null | t5_2to41 | 164 | orgazmo1009: TIFU by letting my daughter get her face painted.
I attended a piercing event at a new local tattoo parlor called Bicycle Art Gallery in my hometown as the events photographer. A few of the models who were wearing piercings available at the shop had body paint on them so they would stand out in the crowd. ... | 6 | 27.333333 | |
1372606574 | 1372951315 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | swimlab: TIFU by giving a 13 year old a lighter to light fireworks....fire aftermath inside....
I made cinnamon sugar cookies and the kids sold them door to door. They sold all of them and afterwards I took them to Dollar General so they could buy something with their money. One of the kids bought those butterfly fir... | 44 | 0.886364 | |
1372608319 | 1372655614 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | ShitStainedLegoBrick: TIFU the weekend
This was yesterday but I didn't have internet until now. For my brother's birthday we normally go camping in my friend's private woodland and we take various off-road vehicles with us.
First fuck up: I got a range rover stuck on a tree stump, which took five hours to free, and d... | 4 | 16 | |
1372625953 | 1372647477 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | whattheflyingfack: TIFU by taking my newly racist friend on a walk through my ethnic neighborhood.
This happened a few weeks ago, but I'm still dealing with the aftermath. I have a friend, a good one, who I've known since I was a kid. We're both older now, and more.mature, or so I thought. Up until I got into contact w... | 4 | 11 | |
1372633472 | 1372684496 | null | t5_2to41 | -28 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming on my cat [NSFW]
A little background info: the wife and I have been having some issues in the bedroom. Also, unrelated to the aforementioned sex fact, we got two new kittens about a month ago who just recently have started sleeping on our bed, a lot, with our 5 year old cat.
Ok, so this even... | 9 | -3.111111 | |
1372633720 | 1372807678 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Holypalladin: TIFU: By eating Mcdonalds.
After eating nothing but healthy food for over a year, I decided on my way home to pick up some Mcdonalds since I didn't want to cook tonight. I can feel my bowels saying "What the FUCK!" and twisting in every way possible.
Lycant_Spirit: Haven't eaten McShit in over four years.... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1372645665 | 1372787093 | null | t5_2to41 | 6,175 | [deleted]: TIFU by ingesting my friends brain matter
Today started as normal as any other, with a typical lazy Sunday morning routine. Wake up at 11. Get showered. Apple for breakfast. Look around my apartment, and realize there's a lot to do.
Today is my laundry/deep clean/shop/redecorate/reorganize day. I'm typical... | 13 | 475 | |
1372665857 | 1372789922 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | CosmicBanana: TIFU by shaving my balls.
tl;dr: Shave down, easy but prickly. Shave up, smooth but bloody.
It's 4 in the morning and I'm holding a piece of toilet paper to my balls. *Why?* you ask? I'll tell ya why. Around 3 in the morning, I get this bright idea, "If I shaved my balls, I wouldn't ever have to deal wit... | 7 | 7.857143 | |
1372667486 | 1372668176 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Eurydemus: TIFU by leaving Pepsi in the freezer for a few hours.
Earlier today i left a Pepsi in the freezer to cool off. I felt like drinking it later so I didn't think to move it to the fridge before I went to sleep. I just woke up about an hour ago and was ridiculously warm. I decided I'd go drink that Pepsi of min... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1372655142 | 1372703745 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | mustangwolf1997: TIFU by clicking "Don't save".
WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS SHIT?!
Ok, little known fact. I write music, and whenever I don't have the chance to write it out, I think up the COOLEST TUNES EVER.
I was finally at my computer playing some games with my friend when I though up a cool melody.
I get to work. ... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1372670010 | 1372691082 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | [deleted]: TIFU by sneezing, having my period, and crapping my pants at work...
I'm on the last day of my period and it has been a particularly heavy and crampy period due to my new dosage of birth control. I'm at work and I feel some cramping and I'm thinking its just weird cramps and that I might have to change my ta... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1372674479 | 1372828803 | null | t5_2to41 | 53 | TooWeird: TIFU by shitting myself for no good reason at all.
So I have a diaper fetish. No more, no less than that.
I was cooking some dinner, wearing a diaper like I do pretty much every day anyway, chilling out and I have a little bit of a tummy ache going. I have this killer urge to fart, and it 'feels wrong'. Man I... | 7 | 7.571429 | |
1372675072 | 1372875318 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | deathbyburger: TIFU by ordering a burger in the restaurant, instead of my usual gammon and chips.
So my family and I went out for dinner as my mum and younger sister had just come back off holiday. I wanted something a little different than my usual gammon and chips, and I didn't have long to order so I just chose a si... | 9 | 4.444444 | |
1372686492 | 1372829090 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | fuck_this_fuckyou: Today I fucked up by getting my car serviced
This morning I woke up early (around 6:45) because of restlessness. I had spent Sunday with some friends having a good time but I'm pretty sure I had food poisoning from a Saturday night burger... But whatever... So I can't sleep and it's 6:45 am... I know... | 7 | 2.142857 | |
1372700497 | 1372790636 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | poop_spectator: TIFU by leaving a used condom in my pant pocket, only to be found by mother in the washing machine....
So last weekend I managed to get lucky at this party. And when we had done the deed I had no idea where to dispose of this condom. In my semi-drunken state, I decided it would be a wonderful idea to st... | 4 | 17.5 | |
1372702690 | 1372777150 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | socc8: TIFU by shitting on the floor of the bathroom of a hospital
So last month I was admitted to the hospital with a high fever because I was having trouble with a medicine I was taking. Last year I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease (if you don't know what that is basically its just a disorder that makes you shit a ... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1372683255 | 1372708529 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | anymaninamerica: TIFU getting drink and jumping in the lake with $200 glasses on.
We were trolling slowly in the boat and for some reason I just all of a sudden jumped in. I don't know why, I just know that all of a sudden I'm in the lake and I immediately realize I had my glasses on. The worst part is I felt them hit ... | 3 | 3.666667 | |
1372708004 | 1372774259 | null | t5_2to41 | 467 | Workacc1: TIFU, "Why is my car traveling across traffic while I'm getting coffee"?
This is probably the stupidest thing I think I have ever done. At least I feel like it.
A little background, I had a great weekend which didn't include a lot of sleep, so that is a factor. I also drive a standard (stick), which will als... | 9 | 51.888889 | |
1372714114 | 1372776996 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | Roboman92: TIFU by almost getting electrocuted at work and dying.
Biggest scare of my life, I almost died today.
I have been training at work as an Electrical/Electronics Technician. I got burned on my hand today at work during a factory shut down from an arc flash made up of 480 Volts of electricity and i don't kn... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1372731110 | 1372791333 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,579 | i_slapped_a_baby: TIFU by slapping a toddler down the stairs
This wonderful tale of a child being bitch slapped begins on a family vacation to the beach. My aunt brought along my 5 year old cousin, who is very destructive and is in my eyes the spawn of Satan. He also has this weird obsession with punching people in the... | 13 | 198.384615 | |
1372736113 | 1372867069 | null | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU by holding my pee.
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
A little background information: I live in a dorm. I share a shower with another girl who showers three times a day. I hate it.
I had to pee. That's all there was to it. My bladder was almost to the F on the pee gauge, but the public bathrooms are less... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1372744672 | 1372917029 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | ZirkMcT: TIFU by wiping with Lysol wipes.
I just finished doing my business when I noticed that I was out of toilet paper. I looked around and the only substitute were Lysol wipes. "Great," I thought, "At least it'll smell like ocean breeze." So I wiped. At first, there was nothing. But the second I finished, I felt a ... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1372746463 | 1372825662 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | SilasX93: TIFU by being clumsy with a knife.
I was chopping up onions, and my knife slipped. I tried to grab it and I accidentally stabbed myself in the ring finger of my right hand. It looked like a minor cut, less than half an inch wide, but it was deep. It was then I realized I could no longer move my top knuckle.
... | 10 | 6.9 | |
1372764638 | 1372837764 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | nigger_bob_joe: TIFU by searching "terrible smell red crotch rash" on google images
Grimnyr: now i kinda wanna search "blue waffle", damn you brain!
AttackTribble: Don't. Images of diseased vaginas will ruin your day.
SarcasticCabbage: If a "blue waffle" is a diseased vagina...what the heck is a "red pancake"?
broken_... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1372766088 | 1372804421 | null | t5_2to41 | -1 | insane_crazy: TIFU by being a terrible son.
So I'm here with a hangover lying in bed and it is my dad's birthday tomorrow.. I've checked and I have extremely little money to my name and the wave of shame and guilt about being drunk last night is hitting me!
Grimnyr: Look at it from the bright side, beer is awesome ;)
S... | 3 | -0.333333 | |
1372768966 | 1372773128 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking fucking sleeping pills this morning when I should have took my vitamins. About to leave for work, have second interview for different job, and a Corporate League basketball game tonight.
About to see how this day goes.
I take Benedryl and a supplement to help me sleep and recover from working... | 3 | 1 | |
1372779446 | 1372908471 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,153 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting menthol in my ass
I'm a web app developer, so most of my time involves sitting in one spot and typing all day. I also occasionally like to go commando, which, combined with the whole sitting in one spot thing, can lead to a gnarly case of monkey butt.
Enter Goldbond.
For those who don't kno... | 12 | 96.083333 | |
1372779424 | 1373086986 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | karmajuney: TIFU by spilling milk on my xbox, and getting caked in the face
so my birthday is in the middle of July, so last year the majority of my friends were out of town and I was home alone. I had a cake and I poured myself a huge glass of chocolate milk. I then turned on my Xbox to watch some tv. About half way t... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1372786053 | 1372801275 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | Fappomatic_automaton: To the girl in my apt who saw me fall down the stairwell naked. (craigslist best of)
Girl in my apt who saw me fall down my stairwell naked. - m4w
I dont know why this would be necessary, but we live in building located by Addison/Lakeshore.
And I've seen you before and you have seen me. About ... | 4 | 7 | |
1372788096 | 1372837158 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | korinthia: Is it just me or does TIFU's posts not display correctly
typically only posts ive read display leaving the rest of the page blank
Fuckyourday: Yeah I noticed that too, but it only happens when I'm on my iphone.
korinthia: i get it on a desktop, but on no other subs
UNZxMoose: If it does that scroll down and ... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1372783128 | 1372806971 | null | t5_2to41 | 167 | kcioffi: TIFU: by accidentally throwing away $400
I'm moving to Florida in about a month, and my mom has been bugging me about cleaning out my bedroom for a long time now. I finally got around to cleaning out my desk yesterday, which is completely filled with crap. I'm kind of a hoarder and it is filled with old papers... | 5 | 33.4 | |
1372790666 | 1372855749 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | JayneCobbs: TIFU when I was biking
I was biking and a bee flew in my face I started spitting everywhere and there was this couple with a stroller and in my frenzy I crashed into the stroller and was yelled at for a good 30 minutes about how I could have killed the baby and when I say I was sorry multiple time they call... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1372791982 | 1372886486 | null | t5_2to41 | 187 | DafyddCymraeg: TIFU, and saw inside my father's anus.
Hello, TIFU community. Long time-lurker; first time submitter. I'm not sure if this is *me* fucking up, or life just ... fucking me up.
*Anyway*
Let's snub a sensitive story: my father recently passed away. *It was cancer. Thanks to morphine, he died peacefully i... | 6 | 31.166667 | |
1372804754 | 1372834474 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | not_bezz: TIFU and now have to pay 300€ for two week Internet access.
Hello fellow Redditors. First time poster here. I've actually fucked up couple months ago, but only realized it today, so here you go:
I live and work abroad, but I go back to my home country every now and then to see the family, etc.. For this pur... | 4 | 14 | |
1372809468 | 1372876508 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Lord_Osis_B_Havior: TIFU by buying eyeglasses that don't fit
I get anxious in glasses stores for some reason, so I rushed through picking them out. When I came to collect them as soon as I put them on I thought, "I've made a huge mistake". They crush my skull and give me a headache.
Now I have to either shell out ano... | 4 | 5.25 | |
1372807621 | 1643763085 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | unintentionalrascist: TIFU but alluding to a racial slur
I was on the phone this morning with a field agent coworker and we were talking about an account that was having issues with getting paid. All of a sudden she brings up Paula Deen mentioning that she is having a crappy week. I agreed saying it sucked she was losi... | 5 | 2.4 |
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