start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1373335656 | 1373385210 | null | t5_2to41 | 120 | [deleted]: TIFU In a Strip Club
This actually happened over the weekend, but I digress. It's not as bad as what some people post here, but I did end up losing my dignity and quite a bit of money.
So, Friday at around 1:30 my friends decided they wanted to go to a strip club to pass the time until we could go out that ... | 7 | 17.142857 | |
1373336260 | 1373413678 | null | t5_2to41 | 149 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to return a compliment about my dog
I was walking my dog and encountered my female neighbor also walking her dog (I'm a guy). She said, in reference to my dog, "Such a cute little thing!" In my head, I was either going to say "So is your dog" or just "Thank you." Instead, everything got jumbl... | 5 | 29.8 | |
1373354001 | 1373415834 | null | t5_2to41 | 560 | WellShit123: Today I fucked up by taking naked photos and making a video of me touching myself without realizing the blinds were wide open.
I bought new panties today and was a little excited so I decided to send some photos to my boyfriend. Then I decided to make a video. As soon as I "finished"... I heard a car door ... | 9 | 62.222222 | |
1373351900 | 1373547173 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | [deleted]: TIFU by stealing from the casino I work at... And getting caught.
This story is a bit lengthy. Promise I'll try to keep it short.
At the time I was committing the theft, I didn't really think to myself "Hey, I'm stealing!"
I'm not making excuses here, but a little background: I've worked at this casino for ... | 7 | 12.857143 | |
1373357117 | 1373403088 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | MoombaWTF: TIFU by trying to get rid of ants
My house has had a ant problem for years and what ever we do these fuckers will not go away so today I was cleaning the kitchen and I found a hole where they were coming in and out from so I decided I wanted to pump something up into that hole and make those hell spawn suffe... | 3 | 9.666667 | |
1373368006 | 1373392444 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | lubelord: TIFU by dipping my phone in my own lube.
So it was 9, I was bored and I started watching some arousing stuff, so I was like "man's gonna do what a man's gonna do". But this time I suddenly had the idea that maybe I could have a *much* more fun experience with some lube. For the past decade, I've been smacking... | 4 | 8.75 | |
1373351948 | 1373418705 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | hardaysknight: TIFU by getting drunk and telling all of my friends that meatspin.com is awesome and that they should look it up sometime.
And so they did, right there. In front of everyone. Now everyone thinks I'm into some weird gay porn.
dancing_raptor_jesus: Whislt sober I told all my female housemates about MrHands... | 7 | 4.571429 | |
1373408117 | 1373435987 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by stealing $15,000 dollars from my mom
Yes, this will be long. Just please, read before commenting.
A little backstory. I'm a 17 year old male, who was (up until today) attending a boarding school in PA. Up until a few weeks ago, my mom and I had little to no real relationship. I despised her most of... | 17 | 1.352941 | |
1373413982 | 1373426028 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,370 | themeowzart: TIFU by eating it in front of the girl I like--and a movie theater full of people.
Today started out as a wonderful day--the girl I like (who looks like a Victoria's Secret model so that's what I'm going to call her) was managing at work, and our shifts ended at the same time. The whole day went well. She ... | 15 | 91.333333 | |
1373403903 | 1373721520 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | DDDowney: TIFU by drinking beer and using smokeless tobacco
This didn't happen today, or this year even. It's just more like One Day I Fucked Up.
I was about fifteen then. Some relatives of mine from further south Georgia than I were at a mutual relatives house. These further down guys were my cousins, and I haven't s... | 12 | 3.083333 | |
1373422090 | 1373568425 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | BigBurlyMan: TIFU and had to leave work early
So I'm a decent sized guy, clocking in at 6', 250 lbs. I'm a developer at a large financial company where full corporate professional attire is required other than a jacket. In the afternoon around 2pm I got up from my desk to stretch due to my post lunch coma. As I squatte... | 6 | 10 | |
1373428376 | 1373773729 | null | t5_2to41 | 159 | Kodak10: TIFU by dropping my phone.
Kind of a short fuck up. But I thought it was worth sharing.
I was reading reddit while dropping a deuce. I also had to piss. It had been about 10 minutes already and I accidentally dropping my phone in which I was browsing on. I bend down without lifting my butt off the toilet sea... | 4 | 39.75 | |
1373420571 | 1373454356 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | iamagiraff3: TIFU with extra deet protection
Redditing outside in northern New Hampshire. Mosquitos trying to eat me. Spray body with bug spray. Sit down. A thousand mosquitos surround head. FRANTICALLY SPRAY HEAD AND FACE WITH BUG SPRAY.
Cry.
Cougs67: Come on man, you should know better than to spray yourself in the ... | 3 | 5 | |
1373421453 | 1373461710 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | Never_Ending_Pie: Tifu in a mirror maze
So you all know those mirror mazes right? The ones that used to scare the ever-living shit outta you when you were a kid? Yeah those. So yesterday, I was at one of those amusement theme parks (It's in Vietnam since I'm visiting it) and I was doing the regular hands out in front o... | 3 | 26 | |
1373466866 | 1373491107 | null | t5_2to41 | 824 | pukeydaydreamer: TIFU by daydreaming about giving a blowjob.
Early this morning I got out of bed and went to brush my teeth. My mind was still wandering from the lingering dream I had, and I began daydreaming about foreplay, and suddenly I couldn't *wait* to see my SO so I could give him a well-deserved, deep-throated ... | 10 | 82.4 | |
1373435665 | 1373488472 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | The_Otsoko: TIFU by locking my friends keys in her car
Me and my S/O were bored so we decided to go riding around to listen to the new sound system (I wired her subs and amp up then) then we decided to get something to eat. I set the keys in the seat when I got up like I would my car and closed the door. It auto locked... | 6 | 1.833333 | |
1373456928 | 1374249139 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | TwyJ: TIFU by front flipping a bike...
I was riding to my friends on my relatively heavy jump bike, and i have to go down a steep hill with a bridge for trains that goes over the top with enough room for a car. Well, i didn't pay any attention to the cars oncoming and i just threw a burst of energy in to peddling and m... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1373425222 | 1373543121 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | huckingfipster: TIFU by rubbing my nose in shit.
Being the lazy, unsanitary college student I am, I picked up a pair of boxers that I thought might be clean and pulled them right on up to my nose to sniff. Unfortunately, they were far from clean.
GodComplexGuy: Do you have any idea on why your boxers had shit on them?
... | 8 | 3.625 | |
1373485980 | 1635428426 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Lose20lbsAsshole: TIFU I been using fabric softener and not laundry detergent
Fucking hell! I realized today while doing laundry that I bought and been using fabric softener and not detergent for the past two weeks. Dammmit
PixelOrange: While that's probably a little pricey, they're still going through the wash and s... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1373482578 | 1373502799 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | amisexySB: TIFU by cutting jalapenos to make poppers and then trying to jerk it later that night
So I am throwing a BBQ today and making some Atomic Buffalo Turds..which require you to cut and gut Jalapenos. I got everything cut and ready to go..washed my hands with soap & water and went to go watch some tv. Decide... | 5 | 14.2 | |
1373487476 | 1373489008 | null | t5_2to41 | 96 | [deleted]: at work big time FML... /r/Cringe told me this belongs here...
jedispyder: Was it your work computer or your own personal computer?
[deleted]: Personal...Laptop...
jedispyder: That's better, at least you weren't looking up porn at work. I'm sure most of the other guys (and gals) there look up porn on the in... | 6 | 16 | |
1373487452 | 1373500105 | null | t5_2to41 | 245 | mwsorr: TIFU by not babysitting one customer as he left.
I work as an assistant manager to a local movie theater. Last night, I was closing. Being a Tuesday night, it was super slow. My staff gets all the nightly cleaning done very quickly. One of my employees comes up to me to say that one of the drains in the men's r... | 5 | 49 | |
1373503446 | 1373603941 | null | t5_2to41 | 435 | Ucantaketheskyfrome: TIFU by not paying attention to my dog
I was getting ready to bike to the gym and walked to my car in the driveway to get my headphones. My chiweenie Donny must have snuck out behind me while I was rummaging through the car. I went back inside, realized my dog was not inside, and went outside to ca... | 9 | 48.333333 | |
1373505438 | 1373626245 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU a musical love!
Today I decided that it was proper to go in for the kill on a girl that I liked. I know she likes me also, but after today it may not be the same.
Let's set the story straight. I'm a guitar player of 11 years and she loves when I play for her.....I figure I could help her to learn. S... | 6 | 5.666667 | |
1373509512 | 1373525855 | null | t5_2to41 | 276 | Some_Stupid_Hoe: TIFU by letting out a massive fart while trying not to fall down.
I was headed to the bathroom at work when I stepped on a piece of trash (that someone must have tried to toss in the wastebasket and missed) that caused me to roll my ankle outward and start to fall forward. In my scramble to catch my b... | 5 | 55.2 | |
1373505623 | 1373590148 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | ShoobadeebeebaBAI: TIFU by trying to be nice to the wrong person
This was actually yesterday night, but I was too darn tired by the time I got home to submit this, so here I am doing it now.
So my friend and I went to go see This is the End, because we were the only ones out of our friend group who hadn't seen it yet.... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1373515787 | 1373681936 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | RolledUpGreene: TIFU by using ear wax removal.
Ok, so I have this problem where my ears always get clogged up and when I use wax removal (the drops) it always clears it up so I can hear again. Well, the other day I went to Wallgreens and bought the off brand simply because it was $5 dollars cheaper. I get home, put the... | 5 | 7.8 | |
1373516003 | 1373517159 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | weebee108: TIFU while at school
If you couldn't tell, this wasn't today.
I was talking with my fat retarded sloppy druggy 'friend' at lunch with a lot of other friends. We were talking about my friends new diet where he doesn't eat bread and how he's going to die. Then we came to the fat one and asked if he was going... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1373516556 | 1373582132 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | Guardian2013: TIFU by telling my boss my colleague wasn't sick...
My colleagues at work are all Battlefield players, to the point, where sometimes we walk around the office going "Battlefield?..Battlefield!" (In the same vain as "Buttscratcher!!!")
Anyway, yesterday one of my colleagues sends a text to our little team... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1373546769 | 1373693233 | t3_1i2cyv | t5_2to41 | 96 | Lamaomgrofl: Guy here, never managed to rear end my car whenever I see an extremely beautiful woman on the street. Am I doing it wrong?
Jackal904: If you haven't committed vehicular manslaughter because of boobs then you might as well forfeit your manhood.
Lamaomgrofl: I've killed millions of children in my pursuit of ... | 9 | 10.666667 | |
1373521054 | 1373557414 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | Pl0x69: TIFU By jacking off after eating at Buffalo Wild Wings
**Background**: After work, a few coworkers and I decided to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. On a sudden stroke of genius I decided I was going to get the blazing sauce for my wings (the hottest they have). I threw one in my mouth and slowly chewed. Thinking it w... | 5 | 12 | |
1373523516 | 1373585937 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | sufferingsucatash: TIFU realizing what I went college for isn't for me. $100,000 later..
I just completed my BA but in order to teach a Masters could help out in my region but starting salary is $30,000-40,000, after $20,000 more in schooling. With no grants, scholarships, federal assitance. Now I'm thinking of returni... | 5 | 3.8 | |
1373538072 | 1373574562 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,035 | Dookus: TIFU by shitting in a disconnected toilet bowl.
No, it wasn't today. It was almost 45 years ago, but if you ask my parents, it happened yesterday.
There were 7 of us in one house (9 if you count the Great Dane and Mynah bird). The toilet went hinky. Dad spent the day trying to replace it, sweating and cursi... | 6 | 172.5 | |
1373517278 | 1373600721 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | mustangwolf1997: TIFUpdate by clicking "Don't Save"
Welp, looks like I didn't fuck up!
I finished rewriting the lead and rendered it.
Here it is if you want to hear it.
https://soundcloud.com/joshua-schuster/guitar-lead-test
And a version without the effects.
https://soundcloud.com/joshua-schuster/guitar-lead-tes... | 7 | 1.142857 | |
1373542549 | 1373603007 | null | t5_2to41 | 637 | VeteranBore: TIFU by putting a very important item in the worst possible place.
Right off the bat, too. [I'll let the image speak for itself.](http://i.imgur.com/a6gpQ5H.png)
fredinvisible: Dude... You should always leave a double empty column so you can jam everything down there. That way you rack up mad combos, and ... | 7 | 91 | |
1373552364 | 1373556685 | null | t5_2to41 | 151 | insomni666: TIFU by accidentally finding porn my dad made with his girlfriend on his phone.
I'm at Starbucks with my dad and his girlfriend (his girlfriend hates me for whatever reason). He hands me his smartphone, because he has an app where the cashier can just scan the screen and it takes money directly out of his S... | 4 | 37.75 | |
1373558762 | 1373632992 | null | t5_2to41 | 523 | [deleted]: TIFU by wiping 400,000 websites from the internet.
Well, today has certainly been fun. For those of you who don't know I'm a lone sysadmin, I take great pride in my job and hate it when the spammers decide to abuse my bosses service. It's often me and the servers, I like it that way, but sometimes you need s... | 8 | 65.375 | |
1373559369 | 1373582239 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | [deleted]: TIFU and re-opened a rash I worked weeks to get rid of. (NSFW text)
So I had a bad case of what I think is jock itch. Basically my whole crotch, and the area between my asshole and taint was itchy as hell and I would scratch it as often as I wanted. I know that is unhealthy, but scratching it felt *literally... | 3 | 11.333333 | |
1373556399 | 1373691887 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | Stead311: TIFU by making fun of Down Syndrome to my boss who has a child with Down Syndrome.
Here is a little background first so you dont think I am a complete asshole.
My boss and I get a long like two peas in a pod. We have been since he hired me nearly a year ago. When he hired me (very informal), we spoke about f... | 9 | 2.888889 | |
1373560614 | 1373602211 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | EggsMarshall: TIFU by leaving my phone's volume on.
So I literally subbed like 3 seconds ago and I was laughing at all these sorry fucks who aren't me.
After I'm done browsing, I decide to go for a wank. I knew full well I had cleaning people over (they come every other week and clean surfaces, dust, etc), but I just... | 4 | 1 | |
1373576332 | 1373624061 | null | t5_2to41 | 32 | TIFUods: TIFU by being creepy online, I think
I registered for an account on a dating site today. Haven't really tried online dating before. Filled out the for and uploaded a photo of myself. Looked at some profiles of people and messaged about 10 girls (aged in the range of two years in each "direction" from my own ag... | 3 | 10.666667 | |
1373585663 | 1373602142 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting with a girl I'm totally into.
So I started at a new company in January, the company is just chock full of beautiful people, I'm a lucky contractor getting an inside view on this fashionable establishment while I do geeky techy stuff (yay!)
There's a girl who has caught my eye since basically... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1373593722 | 1373728652 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,562 | [deleted]: TIFU by blowing a friend in front of my Grandmother.
The title is pretty self-explanatory. A friend I haven't seen for over a year now and I met up today with both of our grandmothers present. We spent dinner messing around under the table, and went over to his house. While watching the Aristocats (best movi... | 17 | 91.882353 | |
1373604411 | 1373609335 | null | t5_2to41 | 61 | swipeeee: TIFU by getting a hit & run
I work for a municipality..someeeeewhere out there........and have to drive to sites basically back and forth all day. So today, I was driving to a work site in a part of town I did not know very well, and was situated off of a fucked up road with lots of construction.* As I am... | 3 | 20.333333 | |
1373616720 | 1373692091 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | thecarpcatcher: TIFU by getting caught at work reading about an underage girl sucking dick on /r/TIFU
So I was reading [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1i4i3e/tifu_by_blowing_a_friend_in_front_of_my/) and my boss walked in the office and saw the H1. He asked me to move away from my workstation and proceeded... | 8 | 13.25 | |
1373615645 | 1373685947 | null | t5_2to41 | 104 | [deleted]: TIFU by attempting to motivate myself.
/r/teenagers told me to put this here:
NOTE: I AM A MALE
OK, So recently I have been doing pull ups in my garage. I realized soon that I lacked a lot of motivation to do so, until I thought I had a great idea. I decided to get a board, stick about 15 nails in it, and... | 3 | 34.666667 | |
1373614211 | 1373875754 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | I_TAUT_DOLPHINS_RAPE: TIFU by spending days trying to download a version of Monty Python And The Holy Grail that didn't have "Swedish" subtitles burned in... I only watched the first couple of minutes of each one i tried.
I've been Monty Pythoned in a way that can only happen in the 21st century.
otoren: You have to w... | 9 | 5.777778 | |
1373640112 | 1373717840 | null | t5_2to41 | 5,002 | zayetz: TIFU by having a wet dream.
Last night, I was on the bus coming home from visiting a friend in a nearby town, and I fell asleep. So I start dreaming about her, and before I know it, it turns sexual. A slow, lustrous tension builds up as, in my dream, I slowly slide my hand up her naked thigh. The second I reach... | 14 | 357.285714 | |
1373642086 | 1373669922 | null | t5_2to41 | 147 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving by falling asleep on skype with my long distance boyfriend
I'm a 17 year old girl, my boyfriend is 18. We have been together for awhile and my boyfriend does this thing where he likes masturbating while I sleep after he wakes up in the morning because of the thrill of me catching him... Only ... | 5 | 29.4 | |
1373652687 | 1373702972 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | SpongederpSquarefap: TIFU by buying new earphones
I have the Galaxy S3 and the Apple EarPods. I put my earphones in to listen to a podcast the other day as I journeyed to work, and for some reason, the sound wouldn't come out of the right ear.
Eventually, this pissed me off to the point where I broke off the right ear... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1373654633 | 1373704810 | null | t5_2to41 | 63 | [deleted]: TIFU by revealing to my entire department I have a cow fetish.
As most of you know Chick-fil-A is having their yearly promotion where if you come in dressed as a cow, you get a free meal. A co-worker invited me to attend an event with her using the cheap little paper-cut-out cow costumes available on the web... | 6 | 10.5 | |
1373658488 | 1373799742 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | [deleted]: TIFU by not tipping the pizza guy
My first mistake was assuming I could pay by card (I couldn't). I had to leave an old guy waiting at the door in the sweltering British summer heat while I went upstairs and grabbed £20 quid. I paid £20 quid for an £18 order and asked for change. He had a bemused smile on hi... | 7 | 11.142857 | |
1373655639 | 1373747216 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: tifu by getting back together with my ex
We started dating in January and broke up because he treated me really bad. Well we have known each other for years and when we were friends he always treated me really well. So we started dating again a few weeks ago it was amazing. He went back to being the sweetest... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1373658611 | 1373821621 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by not giving my brother $40
My brother is *that* guy. "Borrows" money, says he'll pay you back, doesn't happen. Usually I give in because I'm a nice person, but he said he needed the money for gas for his car because it broke down and it needed gas.
I said "I'm not giving you gas money, you can ask m... | 6 | 3.166667 | |
1373651047 | 1373702665 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | ChesterMagnum: TIFU By pumping gasoline into a diesel truck
I work as a gas attendant at a gas station in a shitty little redneck town. Last night I had a father and son pull into my pumps to obviously fuel up. When they pulled up, they were clearly not in front of the diesel pump. Instead they parked in front of the r... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1373667278 | 1373724604 | null | t5_2to41 | 397 | PatheticKetchup: TIFU waking my gf up with sex
Around 10pm and my gf of 14 months is telling me she wants to know my sexual fantasy's. I don't really have any so i just shrug and say "i don't really have one." She looks at me like im just being shy and says "well i have always had this fantasy of being woken up to a gu... | 6 | 66.166667 | |
1373659844 | 1373753785 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | pantsontheground92: TIFU by not wearing pants
Today I fucked up by not wearing pants. How can this be you ask? Well, here it goes. Today I was awoken at 5:30 am by my sister to drive her to work. Not only was I pissed that this bitch woke me out of a dream I was having about dinosaurs (fucking.epic), but why the fuck c... | 5 | 13.8 | |
1373675759 | 1373740106 | null | t5_2to41 | 144 | smeewipeme: TIFU and pooped my pants in my husbands car...
So, I'm on a diet and ate several pickles for lunch...I thought it was a great idea at the time, hell, i love pickles and they're like, zero calories....
well, that was all well and good until my husband and I were driving home from dinner 4 hours later and I ... | 4 | 36 | |
1373683793 | 1373752910 | null | t5_2to41 | 83 | lovemyfakeboobs: TIFU by deleting the last voicemail my grandmother ever left me.
Soccadude123: So sorry lovemyfakeboob
lovemyfakeboobs: Thanks. But they're both fake.
Soccadude123: Pics or it didn't happen
happlepaff: can we not start this now?
| 5 | 16.6 | |
1373684846 | 1373779770 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | SteamPunq: TIFU by having a wet dream too
Dreams are weird man. I don't even know how this happened, but my subconscious is fucked up. Anyways, I fall asleep like normal. In the dream I'm laying in a bed, and a smoking hot blonde with a mean rack is starting to straddle me. So far so good, right? Well, when I'm having ... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1373681125 | 1373723214 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by breaking an electrical box at work
This actually happened about a year ago...but it feels like yesterday with the amount of shit I still get for it. Last year I had a summer job at a very, very prestigious private golf course..the annual membership fee was 200k with monthly fees of 15k. Basically it ... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1373688590 | 1373810959 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | sallamaie: TIFU by forgetting what day it was
I work at Walmart, have 3 write-ups, and love the money I make. I fucked up really bad by forgetting what day it was. I accidently did a no-call no-show when I already have enough write-ups to warrent a termination. I'm drinking away my sorrows and I really hope my manager ... | 4 | 3 | |
1373691825 | 1373813805 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | Hibidi-Shibidi: TIFU by wiping my ass with fiberglass insulation.
I've been crawling around in the attic for the past couple of days running wires for new lights/fans.
Its full of old blown in insulation and even though its 90*, I still make it a point to wear work pants.
I'd say ultimately my mistake was not weari... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1373700758 | 1373772830 | t3_1i7crk | t5_2to41 | 563 | Cougs67: You aren't going to shit for a month or two either
[deleted]: Says you. DAT LACTOSE INTOLERANCE.
TheDemonClown: I actually had no idea until like, 2 years ago that me being lactase persistent was a rare thing. I thought everyone drank lots of milk well into adulthood.
James2986: It's interesting, that. I beli... | 11 | 51.181818 | |
1373693008 | 1373695117 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | oilchanges4everyone: TIFU By eating sunflower seeds, including the shells.
So sometimes i like to just eat the whole thing, if im too lazy to actually crack the seed open from out of the shell. I always regret this decision later when taking a dump. What happened you ask? Well, not only did it feel like I was shitting ... | 3 | 9 | |
1373695015 | 1373774674 | null | t5_2to41 | 101 | [deleted]: TIFU by pissing in my broken nose
Reading along to the hilarious conquests of my fellow redditors, I suddenly needed to take a massive shit. I jumped up out of my bed, speeding to the bathroom and flipping over the dog gate and landing on my face. Before I could register that I just broke my nose, I got up a... | 9 | 11.222222 | |
1373699294 | 1373752676 | null | t5_2to41 | 37 | 11411181: TIFU by forgetting my access cards at work when I went for a break, and I'm the only person in the building.
So I'm working on the 9th floor in my new office, and I'm rostered on for the Saturday shift 3-11. I'm finishing up some jobs before I go and get a nicely-earned coffee from the cafe across the road. I... | 4 | 9.25 | |
1373711059 | 1373821177 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to take porn out of my PS3
Last week my room mate went in a little vacation to the UP of Michigan and I had the apartment to myself for around a week. During that period I watched porn on my PS3 which is in the living room on a big ass TV cause why the fuck not? Nobody is home.
Well, fast... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1373714288 | 1373755001 | null | t5_2to41 | 132 | alwaysmoretolearn: TIFU by clicking a suggestion by google which makes me look completely like a pedophile.
Today I tried to Google: "how to have sex with a virgin." (I was going to give some context but you probably get the picture)
Whenever I typed "how to have sex w" a suggestion box popped up under my text that rea... | 6 | 22 | |
1373713637 | 1373854092 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,167 | kate_335533: TIFU by my family seeing what I really do for work
Yes. I'm a stripper.
I'm doing it because it pays better than being a barmaid while I'm studying at uni and the hours are flexible.
Anyway I knew my dad and my brothers were on a stag night. What I didn't expect was for them to come into the club I worke... | 16 | 72.9375 | |
1373769172 | 1373824200 | t3_1i88cn | t5_2to41 | 6 | fadedspark: So that little tick box, if it's anything like Ontario, means your tuition and fees, not the tuition security deposit that means you're serious about your spot. It's a first come first served function basically. If the program isn't crowded, you'll likely have no problem.
SpiderGal: Yyyyep. OSAP won't pay i... | 6 | 1 | |
1373742822 | 1373845471 | null | t5_2to41 | 179 | hiimathrowawayboy: TIFU by having a fetish
Yes, hi. I still live with my parents and have a fetish for forced feminization and crossdressing. So, I recalled that my parents were out of the house (big house, didn't bother to check), and I dressed up, did my makeup, put on a wig and strap a ball-gag in my mouth, and star... | 9 | 19.888889 | |
1373744418 | 1373779412 | null | t5_2to41 | 978 | sixstringthing: TIFU by peeing on someone.
After leaving the bar last night, the SO and I had to find a washroom. Me being a shit drunk guy, I opted to go round behind the bar. She said it was a bad idea, and didn't want to. But I went anyway, and as I extole the benifits of public urination in dark alleys, I hear "Can... | 10 | 97.8 | |
1373747329 | 1374208498 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | [deleted]: TIFU by washing my pillow.
Yesterday I decided to wash my pillow, which I usually do about every month or so. After it finished I threw it in the dryer on delicate, as per usual, and went about my business. 40 minutes later I came back to take it out and it was still damp, so I decided to leave it in while ... | 3 | 5.666667 | |
1373752878 | 1373832156 | null | t5_2to41 | 147 | Chopes_: TIFU by covering my room in fluorescent spray paint
I tend to get creative late at night, so tonight i remembered the can of fluorescent spray paint I still had lying around.
When i open the cap I accidentaly break the little noozle. After I examined the situation I was sure, that I could handle this and just ... | 6 | 24.5 | |
1373758076 | 1373774277 | null | t5_2to41 | 360 | laughingwithkafka: tifu by taking a nap listening to a rain noise app on my phone
TIFU when I was super tired and decided to take a half hour afternoon nap. I decided to listen to rain and thunder noises to calm myself and fall asleep easily. What can I say? It worked! I didn't want to get up, but an hour and a half la... | 5 | 72 | |
1373739369 | 1373830591 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | hissxywife: YIFU by using spray sunscreen on a windy day
Went to the beach yesterday with my son. I brought sun screen, but it was the spray kind. I didn't know it was so windy, and when I sprayed it on I thought we were fine.
Cut to the end of the day, his back is fairly burned in spots and I'm totally burned becaus... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1373774206 | 1373860393 | null | t5_2to41 | 720 | [deleted]: TIFU by walking in on a suicide
ArabRedditor: I see this shit written all the time and i know you must realize this on some level, but **IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT**
Post this to /r/offmychest if you'd like and people there could help you deal with it a little better.
Shin-LaC: He made up a ridiculously fake sto... | 14 | 51.428571 | |
1373780869 | 1374015193 | null | t5_2to41 | 731 | opheliaq: TIFU by getting ready for a date
Ok. So, I broke up with my ex boyfriend not too long ago and after a few dates with my friend from uni, I finally decided I wanted to sleep with him after our date tonight.
So I've been getting ready and groomed in anticipation for tonight, had a shower did my makeup but then... | 9 | 81.222222 | |
1373779313 | 1373806040 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | trevonator126: TIFU By peeing on someone (my story).
This wasn't today, but reading /u/sixstringthing's fuck up reminded me of when I pissed on someone. I was in the washroom at school at the end of the day and was peeing in a urinal next to my friend Justin. We were talking about something and then I slightly turned, ... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1373782362 | 1373872333 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | N3dfA3MWq63a: TIFU by trying to fix a leaky sink
this was a month and a half ago. i wanted to post this shortly after, but i had to make sure there were no legal implications.
so my sink had been leaking, or rather, had a slight drip when off for a few months. i decided i'd like to fix it. read a bunch of articles on ... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1373786286 | 1373862042 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Old-Yog-Sothoth: Tifu by jumping out of a stationary truck.
I was in the bed of a truck, just stopped at a local bar. Decided I could just hop our and NOPE! My knee buckled and I was on the ground. People telling me they'd help me in, that its okay. It was but wasn't. Pretty sure I fucked up my acl. All to just get out... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1373788079 | 1374350518 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | Toodamnhighforthis: TIFU by hallucinating at work and getting fired
I have ADHD medication in my cabinet at home that I need to take. Well this morning, it just so happens that I grab the wrong bottle, and popped two hydrocodone. I had these in my cabinet from a surgery on my shoulder a while back. I'm a lot more sens... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1373815155 | 1373847414 | null | t5_2to41 | 55 | aaandiamanaiveidiot: TIFU by trusting my boyfriend to much (nsfw?)
I am a very trusting person by nature. Repeatedly in the past I have had people fuck me over and use that trust to get what they want from me. I'm also a bit of a masochist and my guy and I frequently engage in rough/dangerous activities to get our joll... | 6 | 9.166667 | |
1373812819 | 1373871673 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,024 | Dalmazz: TIFU by giving my teacher the wrong thumb drive.
Today, I thought I submitted a marine biology assignment on a thumb drive to my teacher (bear in mind I have to thumb drives that are the same, will post pics if interested), after getting home, I realized that I had given her the wrong one, the one I gave her o... | 20 | 51.2 | |
1373818223 | 1373823101 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: Tifu by only realising id been fucking up for a month...
So the woman i love decided she didnt want to be in a relationship anymore. The fuck up comes in here and whats best the whole thing ending is my fault. So im 22 and shes 25 lil older and im quite naive and stupid apparently....i mess her around a few ... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1373818736 | 1373821339 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | GeniusUsername: TIFU and did the truffle shuffle
So, I was talking to my brother about something, and I was talking about how somebody at a popular panel for an expo did the truffle shuffle. My brother asked what the truffle shuffle was. I jokingly demonstrated.
My mom walked in, and I had to explain.
yeahimdutch: It ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1373793277 | 1373984984 | null | t5_2to41 | 287 | DaveTheRoper: TIFU by not wearing a belt.
A few hours ago I went with my fwb to a local 24-hour diner for an after-midnight dinner. We had a nice dinner, but all throughout the meal she was being very flirty and playful in an erotic sort of way (but subtle enough so as to not be indecent). Let's just say Ol' Willy got ... | 8 | 35.875 | |
1373824807 | 1373865047 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | sg88: TIFU by putting my car keys in the wrong hole
i was about to give my roommate a ride to work this morning but i needed to check the coolant level in my car first. as my car hood doesnt stay up on its own, i held the hood with one hand and was about to take the cap off the coolant resivour with the other which le... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1373822602 | 1373882182 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | daaniloviici: TIFU by falling under my girlfriend on some rocks. After being surprised by her.
Ok so first thing's first. My girlfriend lives just over an hour away from where I live and we often meet up halfway. Last night I'd been invited to play a gig with a group at my local town's festival and I'd invited her to c... | 3 | 2.666667 | |
1373825251 | 1373850880 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | OarsCarryOn: TIFU By overdoing it with one of my friends.
This girl and I go back to high school. I had a crush and awkwardly asked her to homecoming, that whole deal. We wound up being really good friends, which was awesome. She's super chill.
Anyway, I sent her a picture of me and a buddy skinny dipping in the Atlan... | 6 | 0.666667 | |
1373846505 | 1373848145 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by cheating on my boyfriend of 3 years.
I just really fucked up. It all started last night when a friend of mine admitted that he had always had a crush on me. He told me how he was jealous and always wanted to be with me. He asked me if he could have just one kiss and it'd be done with and he'd never b... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1373846870 | 1373923637 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,245 | Besessenes: TIFU by getting so wasted i carved words in my leg and forgot about it.
Yesterday me and a friend were drinking, for it was saturday, and we´re young and...bored. Whatever the reason was, he had some weed there as well and we decided to smoke some of it, too.
This combination fucked me up pretty badly and ... | 12 | 103.75 | |
1373850247 | 1373980950 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Cabinetsupreme: TIFU and didn't pay attention while eating.
So I'm single and don't go shopping very often but when I do I make sure to get plenty of peanut butter and jelly so I can make sandwiches for lunch.
That being said while I was rooting through my pantry I realized I only had peanut butter and I was really h... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1373856555 | 1375690574 | null | t5_2to41 | 273 | Cokrates: TIFU- I watched A Serbian Movie
Thank's to a certain post http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1i9zfk/tifu_by_giving_my_teacher_the_wrong_thumb_drive/ where the redditor gave this movie to his teacher accidentally on a thumb drive, me and 3 of my friends had never heard of the movie and decided to see how b... | 6 | 45.5 | |
1373862631 | 1373918018 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | CthuluHasRisen: TIFU by underestimating the power of vaporizing
I occasionally use marijuana.
My experiences have always been pretty mellow and relaxing, when I use a pipe and take a couple hits. It feels cool, I laugh a lot, food tastes great and that's that.
Today I had a different experience.
My good ... | 4 | 6.75 | |
1373864909 | 1373939967 | null | t5_2to41 | 515 | thatsmypenis: TIFU by putting a condom in a trash can
So blah blah blah wind up with a used condom, and I throw it in the trash can in my bathroom. Fast forward a couple of days I notice some torn up toilet paper in my living room. Well I assume my dog got into my trash, so I check my trash can and find the condom myst... | 8 | 64.375 | |
1373862917 | 1373896932 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | MyAlarmClock: TIFU by pissing in my bed
I woke up in the middle of the night and really needed to take a piss, but I really didn't want to get out of bed. My solution to this issue was grabbing the empty plastic water bottle on my bedside and going in it. The only problem is, once I got my stream going, I realized that... | 4 | 5.5 | |
1373871530 | 1373960721 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | CatharticVenting: I feel like I've really messed up. I haven't responded to my email (i.e., done my job) in over a week. How do I get out of this hell hole I dug myself into?
I'm always making excuses. I'm doing research for my 4th year project and feel like a total fuck up. I don't know what I'm going to say to my pro... | 7 | 1 | |
1373869804 | 1373883619 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | violencewithin: TIFU. I suffer from Vehicular impairment.
Today I fucked up(again)
So last Thursday I'm driving to work in my old beater van and the transmission goes out. Had 298k miles so it wasn't a shock. Went looking for a new car to replace. In the mean time I borrowed my dads truck.
We looked for vehicles for... | 3 | 6 |
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