start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1372811281 | 1372813679 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | sg88: TIFU by shaving my head
well i usually keep my head shaved or closely cut, but i have been lazy over the last few months and didn't bother shaving (in part because i think my roommate may have been manscaping with my electric razor.)
and as summer has been approaching i have really been meaning to...
so last nig... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1372818074 | 1372868673 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | huntercunning: TIFU by stealing from work
Not a throwaway because IDGAF. This was actually last night. I work in the produce department. I was closing up my department and culling (aka pulling the bad product). I still don't know why for the life of me I thought this was a good idea but I was hungry and decided to grab... | 6 | 6.5 | |
1372818544 | 1372823911 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | cscott5288: TIFU by talking about Poop
So at the office today I was talking to this girl who has always been nice to me. There was a lull in the conversation. A *lull*. So what does socially awkward me do when there's a lull in the conversation? Naturally I smooth it out by asking if she wants to see my *enormous cank... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1372822393 | 1372850577 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | Grantykins: TIFU by wanting to have sex at 14 before I hit puberty
I guess I should start off by saying I'm 14. I haven't really hit "that stage" of puberty were my Jimmy starts getting bigger. I've been dating this girl for about a year, and she finally asked if
I wanted to have sex last night. Me, being the sex-craz... | 4 | 0.5 | |
1372823585 | 1380478663 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by putting my ipod in the microwave...
Now my ipod doesn't work and it comes with a white screen.
Soccadude123: Lock screen not working = put inside microwave. ?
Back_off_kid: yep, deal with it
Soccadude123: Hey it's your iPod. You should post pics
Back_off_kid: http://imgur.com/dl7tUGF as promised my ... | 6 | 1 | |
1372839056 | 1372896933 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,654 | JedLeland: TIFU by masturbating in an unmade bed
I'm a bit of a slob. I leave my clothes lying around, I'll often leave soda cans and beer bottles at my desk for days before I expend the energy to toss them in the recycling, and generally the only time I make my bed is when I first put on a fresh set of sheets. So to... | 8 | 206.75 | |
1372861953 | 1372869067 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by teasing a tramp with a Kripsy Kreme donut.
Okay so rewind to about 8am this morning, having gotten off the train I make the short walk from the station to work. Now the station is actually connected to the building I work at so it's essentially: Get off the train, go through underpass walkway, arriv... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1372867115 | 1372906125 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming in my own mouth.
All I'll say is masturbating in a reclined position is a dangerous game.
Lord_Osis_B_Havior: You did it on purpose.
catsareevil: He likes the taste
langleypeterson: pineapple
| 4 | 17 | |
1372866626 | 1373083537 | null | t5_2to41 | 74 | DADGAD: TIFU by setting my penis ablaze inside my girlfriend.
It started with a nice lunch and fresh picked habaneros. My girlfriend is well aware of how cutting peppers means you shouldn't touch ANY body parts within the next hour or so. Moving on, we get to an afternoon session of messing up the bed sheets. I'm on to... | 4 | 18.5 | |
1372848234 | 1372934723 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | BlackFalcon321: TIFU by trying to raise awareness of bullying in my school.
A little back story. My school is over a century old private Christian school, now I have a scholarship here because if your mother/father works there you get about 70% off of the tuition price.
Now our school has "sections" and we have just s... | 3 | 17.333333 | |
1372875130 | 1372893229 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | [deleted]: TIFU by punching a bathroom scale.
So in my mom's bathroom there is a digital scale, used to measure your body weight. Being the stupid teenager that I am, i decided to punch it to see how many pounds of force I could create with my fist. I am posting this from the hospital, waiting to get surgery on two my... | 3 | 22.666667 | |
1372765620 | 1372955516 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | bukikuki: TIFU by going out in my slippers
realised it after a few minutes walk...
[deleted]: That's hilarious. I guess it slipped your mind. Nothing to worry about.
bukikuki: guess i was still asleep! ;)
| 3 | 1.333333 | |
1372880947 | 1372946008 | null | t5_2to41 | 203 | Scotch_Rawks: TIFU by forgetting to minimize my windows.
I have a very undemanding office job. I just stood up briefly. Boss sometimes has to use my computer to look over client communication logs, and this was one of those moments.
The FIRST window I had open was /r/drugs with all of the images expanded.
After s... | 7 | 29 | |
1372879611 | 1372960429 | null | t5_2to41 | 142 | YokotaS: TIFU by telling a jewish man A is for Auschwitz
**First a little back-story:**
I am a male, 20 years of age and I am currently working in a kiosk/newsstand/shop/store in the second largest city in Norway, Bergen. For those of you who don't know, English is not the native language in Norway, which make communi... | 6 | 23.666667 | |
1372894006 | 1372962835 | null | t5_2to41 | 78 | Chandhar: TIFU by listening to music.
it's nearly midnight, I have literally just got back from A&E, and truth be told im pretty tired, so please forgive any spelling/grammar mistakes :)
So tonight, I got home from work, decided to catch up on my YouTube subs (as I do every evening :P). So I was looking around for... | 5 | 15.6 | |
1372893832 | 1372911231 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | imaylie: TIFU by cleaning my family's computer
So today I was using my family's computer to print a project I had done. I realized that it was incredibly slow, so being the me I decided to go ahead an erase a few of those useless applications and toolbars that were taking a lot of space.
Fast foward 4 hours later, m... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1372896504 | 1372971821 | null | t5_2to41 | 189 | Bracket_The_Bass: TIFU by peeing on the air conditioner repairman.
I live on the second floor of a house with some of my friends and the air conditioner has been out for a few days; however, I completely forgot because I have a window unit that I use instead. About 15 minutes ago, I was out on our balcony smoking a cig... | 6 | 31.5 | |
1372894652 | 1372910501 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | [deleted]: TIFU by shaking an old man's hand.
So it's a beautiful summer's day. I'm walking home post-workout and the endorphins are flowing, the sun is shining, I had a really good job interview earlier in the day, and I feel Beyonce levels of fabulous.
I'm strolling along when an elderly gentleman approaches me. He ... | 3 | 17.333333 | |
1372903832 | 1372962959 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by biting off the cashier's head at the liquor store.
I was there with my husband, just picking out things for the 4th of July. We go up to the register, get asked for ID. I don't have my wallet on me so I just state that I'm married to him, and we've been golden every time that's had to happen.
She, ... | 5 | 1 | |
1372906848 | 1372980230 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,521 | porn_DJ: TIFU by playing my homemade porn to my neighbors.
Let's start off with a little background info. I'm a totally normal (As far as I know), 20 year old female. Being single, I have my needs and really gotta (schlick? Fap?) one out every day. I don't think I'm anything out-the-ass-hot but I have this thing where ... | 9 | 280.111111 | |
1372924090 | 1372924833 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | aivanise: TIFU by spamming my complete addressbook with friend requests for an odd social network
Ok, so i get this friend request in the mail for one of those odd social networks with weird names with double letters in unusual places. Usually, I just ignore those, but this one was perfectly translated in my mother ton... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1372939743 | 1372942746 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting stranded out of town
Today, I went to a park outside of town with a friend. Had a good time. On the way back I somehow managed to get a flat. Did I have a spare? No, because my spare was already on the damn car. So my friends come to my rescue, with the older sister of the friend I was hangin... | 3 | 8 | |
1372950400 | 1373058626 | null | t5_2to41 | 130 | Hiro_Of_Time: TIFU by trying to plan for the future
I know its not puking, shitting, or fucking my best friends sister, but damn it, its like someones sister raped me while shitting on my oatmeal.
I just got a job after basically being homeless for a bit, and bumming around living with my girlfriend's parent, I got a ... | 5 | 26 | |
1372948187 | 1373003072 | null | t5_2to41 | 968 | sunglasses619: TIFU by using Google.
I am interning over the summer at a marketing firm and our projects are mainly compiling presentations for startup companies to use for potential investors.
So it's presentation day and we're all sitting in the main boardroom, the company taking notes as we go one by one.
It was ... | 11 | 88 | |
1372951435 | 1372958550 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | nicethrow: TIFU by sleeping with multiple partners and they were all biters.
So, I decided it was time to wash the sheets. I have dryer issues so by the time I was ready for bed I was still sheetless. I went downstairs to a closet where I keep a bunch of climbing gear and military gear and pulled an old sheet out of th... | 3 | 7 | |
1372954813 | 1372971314 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally shaving off too much hair off my eyebrows (pic included).
My eyebrows could get really bushy so I used to use to clipper add on and shave the top off kind of like a haircut once ever month or two. But someone lost the clipper attachment so I now have to use a small hair comb and place it... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1372955350 | 1372962343 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | EyebrowsTripMeOut: TIFU by trying to get some sun while eating
So it's 4th of July, and my extended family and I were enjoying the holiday by having a cookout and going swimming in my great-aunt's pool. Now, I came out to her pool last week to go swimming; I got burnt pretty good, so now my skin was beginning to peel. ... | 3 | 13 | |
1372944241 | 1372970172 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | guitarman565: TIFU by peeing all over myself and the newly decorated bathroom when i sat down to take a dump.
So i dropped trou and sat down, but alas, i had made a fatal mistake.
Women won't understand, but guys will.
I sat down, and as i did so i failed to drop my pants far enough, and my genitals were sitting on ... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1372964488 | 1372976741 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | ShoobadeebeebaBAI: TIFU by taking a shit on one of my Dad's properties
Well, to start off, this is not actually my fuck up, but my friend gave me permission to post this since he doesn't really use reddit. I told him it'd be perfect for this subreddit. I should also mention that his Dad buys and sells properties.
When... | 3 | 14 | |
1372963413 | 1373848752 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | shikitohno: TIFU by getting Dave's Insanity Sauce in my dick.
I used some of [this](http://www.amazon.com/Unknown-Daves-Insanity-Sauce/dp/B0007WUOUM/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1372962972&sr=8-4&keywords=dave%27s+insanity+sauce) stuff to give my tuna sandwich a little bit of a kick around an hour ago. Come time... | 6 | 9.333333 | |
1372971227 | 1373003398 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by nearly setting my brother's house on fire.
Back story: I've been staying with my brother for the last month because of reasons. We're both in our 30s, but he still treats me like his kid brother sometimes, which, obviously, is super fun. He is also **very** particular about the way he likes his thing... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1372972363 | 1372974424 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Pokeanose: TIFU (a little over twelve years ago) by taking a nighttime piss.
So, let's go back in time, back when little ol' me was about six years old. ..
It was near midnight and the house was quiet, save for the pitter-patter of tiny feet in the hallway. I was waddling my way into the bathroom; I think I had too mu... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1372986932 | 1373005511 | null | t5_2to41 | 513 | the_REAL_Nyall: TIFU by buying my first car... which ended up being a lemon
Woke up at 2:30 AM this morning with my laptop screen bright in my face . I had dozed off in front of it a few hours prior, whilst searching for cars on Kijiji. I hit refresh and there it was. The ad for the car. The car was a 2000 Chrysler Cir... | 17 | 30.176471 | |
1372986663 | 1372996346 | null | t5_2to41 | 114 | Lolrama: TIFU by hitting myself in the nuts
So, it's a beautiful day, July 4th. I'm outside, enjoying a view from my friends house (he threw a party) and drinking my soda. However, this fly to come and buzz around my drink and lands on the lid of my soda. This is where my mouth meets the can and its contaminated. I st... | 3 | 38 | |
1372994888 | 1372998798 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | HidingInMyRoom: TIFU by trying to use a friend for human comfort
I have this friend, lets call him George. George and I are great friends. We used to go to the same summer camp, we always stayed in touch, and we're similar people. For reference, I am female.
This past year, I went off to the same college as George.... | 4 | 6 | |
1372996301 | 1373084722 | null | t5_2to41 | 475 | listens_to_the_radio: TIFU by causing a married man to leave his wife.
Background: I was working at one job when I found another, so I gave my two weeks. I had been friendly at work with managers in another department who were still technically supervisors to me. This meant no fraternization because to them I was "staf... | 4 | 118.75 | |
1373007288 | 1373089966 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | Ireallyfuckeditup: TIFU With the girl of my dreams
A few years back I started a relationship with the most amazing girl I have ever met. Close to that time, I got a little flirty with a friend of mine but we ended it pretty quickly. Long story short, it turns out my dream girl knew the whole time. I told her tonight an... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1373013892 | 1373076270 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: By asking my girlfriend for pictures
Yeah this is as bad as it sounds.
Not because I asked.
No.
Because her mom found her phone.
I sure as hell done fucked up.
Her mom still has her phone and I am almost positive my girlfriend will be in trouble as much as I will be when my parents find out which they probab... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1373029216 | 1373137512 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | SHAMR0KTHUNDR: TIFU by dropping my cake on my driveway...
This was a fairly elaborate cake that I spent over 5 hours perfecting, I packed it up to bring it to a party. I brought it down to my car oh so gingerly set it on my car to open the trunk only to turn around and watch it plummet to the earth with such force the ... | 3 | 7 | |
1373032119 | 1373057484 | null | t5_2to41 | 266 | mordekaiser94: TIFU by watching Django Unchained next to a black guy
I was in a plane heading to Amsterdam. It's a 9 hour flight and we have little personal TV screens in front of us. I have a middle seat, on my right a old asian guy, and on my left a black guy who looks like he belongs to a gang. On my TV screen i'm ... | 10 | 26.6 | |
1373014023 | 1373076620 | null | t5_2to41 | 193 | [deleted]: TIFU by selling a textbook that I rented
I totally forgot and sold it. After the term ended, I checked the order details and the confirmation emails and couldn't find anything that indicated whether I rented it or if I could return the rental. So I came to the conclusion that I bought it and then sold it to ... | 3 | 64.333333 | |
1373031739 | 1373076279 | null | t5_2to41 | 128 | Juankii: TIFU-by leaving my iPad on top of the car
So this morning Im getting my children in the car and I set my iPad on top so I can strap my son in the carseat. Needless to say going down the road doing 55 and my wife goes "did you leave something on top of the car?" So we turn around and there's my iPad on the blac... | 6 | 21.333333 | |
1373039236 | 1373199421 | null | t5_2to41 | 471 | real-dreamer: TIFU I thought it was payweek this week.
For an example of, "Today I fucked up..." So, I thought I was getting paid this week. Not next. I ended up putting most of the rest of my check into my bills and food. So, I'm left with almost no money until next week. Dammit... I hate living check to check.
Edit... | 12 | 39.25 | |
1373046788 | 1373354849 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | SonnoMaku: TIFU by moving my computer a couple inches
Well actually last night. Recently my headset stopped working so I have been using earbuds to listen to games and videos on my computer. I wanted to watch a movie on Netflix and having no speakers other than the earbuds I decided to move my computer closer to my bed... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1373047281 | 1373145833 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by having skype sex loud with the door open while my family was downstairs. Maybe.
Alright so, I'm beating off for my girlfriend on skype, she's telling me "faster, harder, be louder" but you know. Way sexier. And I'm like "yes mistress" (don't judge me here) (also I'm 15) and I'm moaning and groaning a... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1373051493 | 1373080251 | null | t5_2to41 | 40 | Twatbag3000: TIFU by getting drunk.
This wasn't actually today, couple of years back (17 at the time). But still, I feel you should all know and laugh!
So... I all begins with going to a friends party (Hawaiian) where a lot of friends were going as well. As I was underage I couldn't go to the shop and buy some beer so... | 3 | 13.333333 | |
1373057401 | 1373120072 | null | t5_2to41 | 28 | CheddarSteeze: TIFU by not getting any information from someone who hit me.
Sitting at a light, (the light is green and i'm waiting to turn left as cars pass by) I look up into my rear view mirror to see a jeep coming in pretty fast and wouldn't you know it, a screech, then a small slam as my car lurches forward. Fast ... | 5 | 5.6 | |
1373068671 | 1373124072 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | ThunderMufnz: TIFU by accidentally leading a girl on
So I'll start this by saying I'm 15, young and stupid. So this girl I like, we'll just call her A, was throwing a party, and somehow I got invited. So I come to the party and we all go in the pool and I see another girl, we'll call her B, and she starts coming on to ... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1373064180 | 1373185366 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | ermahgerdhertdergs: TIFU by drinking spoiled milk.
I woke up around 2pm today and had to be at work at 5. My period also started today, but I thought I could just tough it out and walk it off even though I know my pain tolerance is shit. It was fine until I got to work. Within a few minutes of clocking in, it felt like... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1373080821 | 1373187763 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by using my dad's cell phone on a date
A girl who I've been friends with for a while finally agreed to go out on an actual date date with me tonight. My phone gets horrible service except in big cities and I was going to be out in the sticks so I took my dad's phone. She and I exchanged phone calls on m... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1373068012 | 1373172544 | null | t5_2to41 | 335 | [deleted]: TIFU by accidentally leaving "questionable" art in my apartment.
To set the tone for this lovely/devastatingly embarrassing story, I am by no means an *artist*. Nor do I consider myself to be one.
So, I'm chilling in my apartment, with nothing to do. As a lonely, 21-year old college student in the middle of... | 6 | 55.833333 | |
1373086896 | 1373092093 | null | t5_2to41 | 86 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to avoid looking like a pervert.
So yesterday this crazy thought came out of nowhere that something good might actually be on TV. When I pressed the power button the first thing that showed up on the screen was some cooking show. Like most 17 year olds I'd usually just change the channel and f... | 5 | 17.2 | |
1372994376 | 1373286045 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | [deleted]: TIFU by zipping my pants.
It's pretty self explanatory. I zipped my pants way to fast after taking a piss and got my boxers and my shaft stuck in the zipper. I am not walking around with a band-aid on my penis. Fantastic.
jordankw: I feel like I'm the only guy who's never done this.
TwoWorldsCoexisting: I al... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1373084928 | 1373711165 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | ilikepineapples: TIFU by scrubbing off sunburn blisters (on my face/scalp) in the shower.
Now my face looks like I head-butted the sun and stings like a bitch.
FFBetaDragon: I've had blisters before; they covered my shoulders. Worst....experience....ever!
ilikepineapples: definitely. I also learned not to put store... | 4 | 6 | |
1373097023 | 1373120887 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to rub one off before bed. (NSFW)
I was getting ready for bed when I suddenly got the urge to go shine the pole before heading to sleep. I do my usual stuff; checking the files I have saved on my PC and pick out a video. I relax and decide to take it slow and enjoy the ride as I made my own d... | 4 | 12.5 | |
1373117721 | 1373363253 | null | t5_2to41 | 95 | CUNTASAURUS_REX: TIFU by ordering shampoo from Amzon instead of just going to the store
I ordered 6 shampoos off Amazon because I didn't want to the store for 1 thing. As you can see in my attached picture, Amazon does some really genius packaging...or lack thereof
http://i.imgur.com/UEvK3Jf.jpg
swordfishtrombonez: Th... | 12 | 7.916667 | |
1373123778 | 1373218242 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | Twatbag3000: TIFU by trusting a fart.
So there I was, about twenty mins ago, trusting farts. Last night I went out and got rather fucking pissed so I know it's stupid to trust farts on the day of the beeriod.
I've been trusting them all day long, being very cautious which lead me to being cocky and just letting them p... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1373124533 | 1373196462 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,936 | toolazytomakesmthup: TIFU by flashing my entire family.
I recently have lost a ton of weight. 100 pounds. But today was laundry day, and I was out of actual fitting boxers so I figured I'd be good with the enormous XXL boxers I used to wear. I was wrong.
I showered. And went into the living room. As I was walking, I k... | 10 | 193.6 | |
1373128776 | 1373165547 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | Wiggles114: TIFU by destroying my gaming mouse.
My G500 started bugging out on me after almost 2 years of faithful service, just double clicking on every other click. Dumbass me decided "fuck the warranty, Logitech will take months to replace this. I'll just fix it myself! Huzzah!"
Turns out it's a fairly common issu... | 6 | 8.5 | |
1373133851 | 1373161341 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | trumpet-trousers: I made a friend laugh and vomit simultaneously
We were playing a drinking game where you had to drink a pint and eat 3 digestives that were layered on top of each other. We were playing mario kart and you can't drink and drive but you have to finish your pint and biscuits before you finish a lap. Anyw... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1373146889 | 1373325156 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by forgetting to mention an STD
Excuse grammar mistakes in advance, I'm currently a hot mess.
My boyfriend lives in a home with a ton of people, one young woman who's very sexually open and who recently moved in caught our mutual attention. I (female) got to know her a bit before becoming wildly infatu... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1373150722 | 1373218590 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | ohgodipooped: TIFU by pooping on my boyfriend's rug
So we just got back from the beach last night, around midnight. I stay over his house because my parents lock up at eleven and I don't have a key. We both fall asleep pretty quick, tired from traveling, and the next morning is super romantic with lots of sex. What a g... | 9 | 13.111111 | |
1373149062 | 1373176907 | null | t5_2to41 | 124 | Badwolf582: TIFU by eating watermelon like a child.
I arrived home this morning when my wife was getting ready to go to work herself, I helped pack her lunch while she was in the shower. I put in some freshly sliced watermelon but neglected to put the remainder in the fridge, two slices or so.
A few hours later I wak... | 4 | 31 | |
1373158188 | 1373222534 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | SunshineBuzz: TIFU by breaking two cars in one day.
So, needless to say, today hasn't been all that great.
It started off innocently enough. I work security, so my job is to patrol cars around and watch out for any ne'er-do-wells.
So, I'm out and about, kinda just cruising and enjoying the sunshine. (We never get tha... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1373164819 | 1373251909 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | larrysbestfriend2: TIFU by snapping at someone in the middle of a presentation.
My buddy and I were giving a presentation in English where we had to create a school with various curriculum based on transcendentalist ideals.
I was mentioning that we would require P.E. classes for all students during attendance in order... | 4 | 9.75 | |
1373165031 | 1373389545 | null | t5_2to41 | 837 | Filthybiped: TIFU by showing my Mom and sister my new phone.
So I bought a new smartphone and had been enjoying it for a few weeks. Doing the normal things like taking pictures of dumb shit, sharing inappropriate media and exchanges between the woman and I, watching porn, etc. The normal stuff perverts like myself sp... | 9 | 93 | |
1373173461 | 1373315493 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | donavid: TIFU by kicking a door closed onto my sister's face.
My mother is the overnight supervisor at my job, and I work the day shift. So when she's going into work, I'm going home. To make our lives easier, my father drops her off and waits for me to punch out to take me home.
Recently my little sister has started ... | 4 | 17.25 | |
1373188926 | 1373711015 | t3_1hselq | t5_2to41 | 2 | daniflemp: Mao, Mao, there's no need for that
emailbitesmyass: Meow, you were going too fast,
Braekyn: Upvotes for ALL of you!
darthrevan140: shenanigans?
| 4 | 0.5 | |
1373166633 | 1373216348 | null | t5_2to41 | 181 | I_am_also_a_Walrus: TIFU by trying to cuddle with my cat.
It was early morning and I was in the living room. I saw my cat sleeping on the bench in there and he was doing that adorable little thing where the cover their eyes with one paw. I had the sudden urge to cuddle him on the couch so I go over there and pick him u... | 3 | 60.333333 | |
1373172070 | 1373217862 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | heybuddy93: TIFU by not checking my pockets thoroughly enough.
So, I work at a construction site. Today, I was nailing some stuff onto some other stuff. Fast forward a few hours later and I'm cleaning out my pockets. Everything seems good, pockets are empty, now it's laundry time. I throw my stuff in and go to grab it ... | 8 | 4.75 | |
1373200813 | 1373332102 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | morster: TIFU by getting black pepper in my eye
So I was making scrambled eggs, and then I added some extra pepper after they were finished. I guess there was some on the outside of the shaker, because after sitting down to eat, I rubbed my eye and 30 seconds later it really began to burn. I washed my eye out but the b... | 4 | 4.75 | |
1373223280 | 1373264805 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,957 | dvboy: TIFU by downloading Open Office from openoffice.us.com instead of from www.openoffice.org
Came with some delightful malware hijacking my browsers to findwide.com. Still not fully clean, but working on it. Hopefully there is not more under the covers. Beware folks.
dumb_logic: Dude, it sounds like you have a rook... | 9 | 217.444444 | |
1373223197 | 1373357403 | null | t5_2to41 | 220 | zombiescottsman: TIFU by saying another woman's name while sleeping, then saying I loved her more than my wife. I have never met a woman with this name and was having a dream about being in prison.
My wife was furious and made me delete every single female non family member on my F.B. I still have no idea who the woman... | 8 | 27.5 | |
1373171914 | 1373229923 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by driving recklessly and being sarcastic to a police officer.
So far, today had been like any other: get up, go to work, and go home. Today was different, though. After work, my buddy and I got a bit *over* excited, driving a bit faster than usual also *maybe* skidded around a bit in the parking lot. I... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1373232345 | 1373241465 | null | t5_2to41 | 115 | nastybacon: TIFU by smearing my own shit all over my face
So last night I had a heavy curry. This morning I was half asleep showing. After my shower I was drying off. As I was drying off around my ass crevice, I realised that my ass was leaking somewhat and I was smearing it all over the towel. I figured what the he... | 3 | 38.333333 | |
1373236254 | 1373256365 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | destortoise: TIFU by taking the wrong class for 2 weeks and only realizing it today
Title speaks for itself really...
I just wasted $1500 of my parents' money.
I feel terrible.
EDIT: I guess it wasn't that I took the wrong class, but the class I was taking wouldn't transfer credits over to my university. So really it... | 3 | 11 | |
1373237382 | 1373306437 | null | t5_2to41 | 114 | ohgodthatwasbad69: TIFU by accidentally saying what I'd do to Selena Gomez to my dad over the phone
This happened about 4 or 5 days ago actually, but whatever.
So, me and my friends were fucking around like we always do and saying stupid shit, when one of us changes the channel to a music video channel or some shit t... | 5 | 22.8 | |
1373238064 | 1373247716 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | jimbob1979: TIFU my love life by not being able to read basic English
I texted 'my crush' on Friday night asking if she was going out and she replied, "No, I have plans tonight".
I thought the reply was a bit terse but didn't reply...
I just reread the message - it actually says, "I have no plans tonight..."
Fuuuu... | 3 | 14 | |
1373240843 | 1373258062 | null | t5_2to41 | 334 | feedle: TIFU by trusting my girlfriend to take care of my chicken
Sorry, I just have to vent.
I had four pullets at the beginning of the day. They were about 10 weeks old. One of the pullets (a black banded we had named "Popeye") was becoming quite attached to me, and I loved having a new little feathered friend i... | 7 | 47.714286 | |
1373241574 | 1373258034 | null | t5_2to41 | -2 | wikthis: TIFU by assuming everyone is a thief.
This happened on Friday, just got back so here it is.
So my mom, dad, girlfriend, and I went camping this weekend and we just got a brand new tent. As my dad was taking a corner this tent fell out of the back of our pickup truck and my dad flipped a bitch. When we came ar... | 3 | -0.666667 | |
1373231783 | 1660692312 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | BillyLemonZest: TIFU by swallowing cigarette ash
Well last night technically. I was on the way to a rooftop party at about a [6], smoking a cigarette and walking around downtown. The ash on the cigarette was getting pretty long, so I tapped it off. Unfortunately the wind picked up the whole chunk of ash and blew it ... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1373236857 | 1373252554 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Prime1153: TIFU by swimming with my phone.
Yesterday seemed like a typical hot summer day; one of my friends invited me and a few other people over to her house so we could swim in her pool. Once I got to her house, I changed into my swimsuit and put my Galaxy Nexus into my pocket, since I was texting a friend and was ... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1373252744 | 1373408274 | null | t5_2to41 | 59 | diamondeyes18: TIFU by getting caught with gf.
So my (18M) girlfriend (19F) are playing ping-pong in her basement and her family is upstairs. I go to push her against a wall and kiss her and feel around a bit. After that, she says, "Want to go get food now?" I tell her "Just a sec, I'm not finished with you" and pull h... | 6 | 9.833333 | |
1373256010 | 1373398286 | null | t5_2to41 | 56 | Sapz93: TIFU by peeing in a gatorade bottle.
So last night I had a couple of people over and I got pretty drunk. After my friends depart from my place Im feeling exhausted and want to go straight to bed, but first I had to piss. So I drain the pipes and head upstairs to my room. Still drunk, I decided to browse the int... | 6 | 9.333333 | |
1373257336 | 1373338183 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | bartendin: TIFU by getting a friend fired from work. At least it was due to her own actions, but still.
I work at a chain restaurant and lately we have had a lot of "coupon fraud." Basically, this means servers steal stacks of coupons or print them from their computer under false emails (or snatch them out of local new... | 6 | 3.666667 | |
1373244759 | 1373347533 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | [deleted]: TIFU and pissed in a friend's spare bed
So I'm laying here in my own dry bed, unable to sleep on account of last night's soggy fuck up. Here's what I done did...
I have a friend who lives about 40 miles away whose house I stayed at last night. We used to work together several years ago and have kept in to... | 3 | 26.666667 | |
1373265032 | 1373295687 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | [deleted]: TIFU by hooking up with my friend's brother
So, to explain the situation: my close friend (let's call her S) of 4 years invited me and a few of our other friends to her boat. Her brother and his friend came as well. I'm a 17 year old girl with low self esteem and her brother's a very hot confident 20 year ... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1373257613 | 1373450674 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | kendroeger: TIFU by getting rotten Robin egg juices on my hand.
I was at my grandparents' farm today just walking around when I stumbled across a blue egg just sitting on the ground. It actually looked whole, but when I picked it up, I noticed it had a few holes in it where the unborn bird must have leaked out. It stil... | 4 | 3.25 | |
1373263115 | 1373390811 | null | t5_2to41 | 198 | imaylie: TIFU by staining a chair with my period blood.
A bit of background information: I have a pretty unregular period. It usually lasts around a month and it can get a bit out of control. I've told my mother about this multiple times and have insisted on going to a doctor, but she has always shrugged it off by sayi... | 5 | 39.6 | |
1373257065 | 1373288957 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | blacmagick: TIFU by being in a crowded bus
So, this was actually a week ago on Canada day, and I guess its more of a really awkward situation than anything else. Anyway, it's Canada day, and I don't usually bus, but its free today. Take the bus downtown with some friends, have a great time. We split, I go to a teammate... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1373286841 | 1373560479 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,987 | massivechicken: TIFU by ironing my cock
I was dopey and it was early in the morning. I was ironing naked. As I am 6'4" the ironing board is at cock level. As I ironed my shirt the edge of the iron "seared" my cock which was dangling over the work area. It now has a blistered line across the shaft and it is somewhat pai... | 14 | 141.928571 | |
1373289529 | 1373299548 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | BathroomFail: TIFU by doing the wrong thing in the right place.
This was actually about 4 years ago, but I think it qualifies as a fuck up. So anyway, I was sick with the flu or something, I had been home sick for a good week. I go to the bathroom to puke. What happened next, was pretty much one of the dumbest things I... | 4 | 22.75 | |
1373307293 | 1373323398 | null | t5_2to41 | 73 | bokin8: TIFU by breaking my mom's antique mirror trying to get a closer look at a pimple on my ass
I had the dumb idea of balancing the mirror on the edge of the bathtub because that was where it caught the most light. When I attempted to inspect the large red bump, I moved closer to the mirror and my big ass knocked i... | 4 | 18.25 | |
1373300690 | 1373322927 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | The_RESINator: TIFU by not knowing the difference between needing to poop and needing to throw up.
This actually happened a long time ago and is actually one of my earliest memories of throwing up. When I was about eight I was at a party in my neighborhood when my stomach started to act up. I decided to walk home to ... | 3 | 5 | |
1373316855 | 1373389727 | null | t5_2to41 | 485 | punx_at_heart: TIFU by assuming I was home alone.
Its a summer day and being a 16 year old female enjoying the days of being home alone, I decide to put my favorite broadway soundtrack *Chicago* on. I hop in the shower to enjoy the jazzy tunes (because, who doesn't like to sing in the shower) and I don't bother to clos... | 8 | 60.625 | |
1373320338 | 1373321197 | null | t5_2to41 | 8 | OrganicSnowflake: TIFU by losing one of the diamonds on my wedding band.
So I have known for a while that my rings needed to be looked at as the prongs looked a bit worn. However, due to financial strain I kept putting it off. Now I have lost a tiny diamond on my wedding band and have no way to replace it. I have no i... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1373322833 | 1373328494 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | [deleted]: TIFU by bleeding everywhere
So a little backstory... I'm prone to nosebleeds and if the conditions are right they can get really bad.
So I was on a trip and earlier that day I had a minor bloody nose but didn't think much of it. A few hours later we left a banquet hall and got back on the way to our hotel ... | 5 | 1.2 | |
1373323842 | 1373679026 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | ShelbySue9109: TIFU by Fucking my best friend's ex
Back story: my best friend and I have known each other for sixteen years and tell each other everything.
Ok, so 6 years ago, my friend, let's call her C, starts dating a guy,Z. Z and C exchange virginities and break up soon after.
Fast forward to 2 years ago when they ... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1373332617 | 1373477128 | null | t5_2to41 | 58 | [deleted]: TIFU by making a Hitler joke at work.
I have a coworker who joined my team a month ago, so I'm still getting to know her and figuring out her boundaries. She told me in an early discussion we had that she's a very loyal person -- that she "drinks the Kool-Aid." So today I was in an informal meeting with her ... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1373333775 | 1373335797 | null | t5_2to41 | -2 | Mashieboyz: TIFU by watching a whole episode of 7th Heaven
I am a guy, and I enjoy quality programming (eg. Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, LOST, etc.). I just wanted to state that before I begin.
I got up this morning, just a little baked from the last night (didn't sleep much). So I sat down on my couch, turned on the ... | 4 | -0.5 |
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