start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1374395257 | 1374460585 | null | t5_2to41 | 35 | WorryNoHurry: TIFU by seeing my father naked
This was two days ago, so not actually "today" but cut me some slack.
I live with my dad in a weird converted loft which situates his bed opposite of the kitchen. Most nights, I tend to stay up late browsing Reddit, watching movies, reading, etc. Now, I am an avid snacker. ... | 3 | 11.666667 | |
1374408984 | 1374518747 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by taking cocaine despite worsening my depression and anxiety
I messed up last night and i feel worse than ever, i have an appointment that i'm dreading tomorrow morning and a million things to sort and i borrowed money and have been crying and shaking all morning wondering whether i should just end my ... | 5 | 4 | |
1374440362 | 1374458432 | null | t5_2to41 | 242 | LumberjackBastard: TIFU by sneezing.
I had just got out of a movie with my friend. We were standing outside the theater chatting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I turn around to sneeze away from my friend and at that exact moment a woman pushing a stroller came up behind me. I sneezed all over the baby.
Baby inst... | 4 | 60.5 | |
1374453472 | 1374520982 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,887 | dontkillmyvibe6: TIFU taking my daughter to a birthday party.
My Daughter is almost 2 and a bundle of joy. We went to her cousins birthday party today where she proceeded to get her face painted. All was good until it was time to lay her down to bed. She lasted down peacefully and I put her favorite cartoons on. An hou... | 10 | 188.7 | |
1374461546 | 1374495050 | null | t5_2to41 | 66 | [deleted]: TIFU by ALSO not knocking..
So I'm in New York for a week with my family, and the new laundry system works like, there's a dirty clothes pile in their room which they share with my 2 year old brother.
After showering about an hour ago, I walk into the room with pile, thinking they'll be playing with the bab... | 4 | 16.5 | |
1374467879 | 1374541319 | null | t5_2to41 | 145 | FabulousFlavor: TIFU by showing my brother my boob.
I was about to bed down for the night, and in accordance I stripped down, threw on a loose fitting robe and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I came back into my room, I found that my dog had managed to lock himself in. I picked him up and opened the door t... | 5 | 29 | |
1374479786 | 1374570376 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | pigeon_satan: TIFU by eating nailpolish
I went to unscrew the cap with my teeth, forgot that I had previously loosened it and ended up with green nailpolish in my mouth, then panicked and dropped the bottle so that it spilled on my jeans.
jbrown604: How did it taste?
pigeon_satan: kind of the same as licking a bar of s... | 5 | 4.2 | |
1374497580 | 1374529875 | null | t5_2to41 | 100 | OnlyHoomun: TIFU By Getting It On With My Cousin.
Happened this weekend.
So, my wife's cousin from Italy came to stay this weekend, and he brought his wife. We all get really drunk and my wife and her cousin go to sleep around midnight. Leaving me and my cousin-in-law(?). She starts to rub her leg against mine, then ... | 12 | 8.333333 | |
1374508917 | 1374510537 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | zip_zap_zip: TIFU by trying a backflip off of a 70 foot cliff
Over-rotated. Now bruised from my knee to my shoulder. Also, didn't even look cool. It took the wind out of me so I came out of the water making a faint screaming noise and in need of help.
Edit: In comments, but it was actually closer to 40 feet. Sorry ab... | 6 | 15.166667 | |
1374513640 | 1374644001 | null | t5_2to41 | 138 | sitorstand: TIFU by pushing
TIFU man...So I recently got knee surgery and after the surgery, the doctor informed me that I would experience constipation, pain, etc.; the standard stuff. So about four days into recovery, nature calls, and I hobble into the bathroom. I plop down, preparing myself physically and mentally ... | 5 | 27.6 | |
1374518037 | 1374543257 | null | t5_2to41 | 404 | lilmisssunshine: TIFU by not checking out my running pants...
I work out mwf with my husband in a boot camp class. I got through almost the entire hour before my husband says in a horrified and hushed voice "*BABE!*" and points in the general direction of my crotch...look down and what do I see? A small hole? nope. ... | 12 | 33.666667 | |
1374518674 | 1374524576 | null | t5_2to41 | 110 | SixOneOne: TIFU by running over a bicyclist
I was driving down the road heading to work when a squirrel ran out in front of my car. I swerved to miss the squirrel. I hit an oncoming bicyclist and broke 2 of his ribs and his arm. I ended paying all of his medical bills just to not be an asshole.
iBarbo: fuck. I've hit ... | 5 | 22 | |
1374519464 | 1374548462 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,011 | iBarbo: TIFU by getting a blow-job after visiting an ice cream parlor.
I got a BJ right after we got some ice cream together. She must have ate too much, cause she puked all over my dick and balls. I was laying down on the bed, and i could feel all the melted ice cream flow down my balls and into my butt crack. It was ... | 12 | 250.916667 | |
1374521405 | 1374711341 | null | t5_2to41 | 118 | evencorey: Tifu by proving my boss wrong.
(Told in my dads perspective)
As I was working at the local machine shop this morning, I noticed that one of the machines wasn't working right.
My boss, who was a self centered dick, was certain that there was nothing wrong with it. But I went to check it out anyway
Sure eno... | 15 | 7.866667 | |
1374528308 | 1374553462 | null | t5_2to41 | 732 | [deleted]: TIFU and shot jizz at my mum
Alright so, one day I really needed to take a shit so you know, I went toilet. Well anyway, I was browsing reddit when I saw a NSFW post that got me really horny, so anyway I start going at it with Mrs Palmer and her 5 daughters.
Now here are two mistakes I made:
1. My mum usua... | 8 | 91.5 | |
1374534608 | 1374572912 | null | t5_2to41 | 69 | Teloria: TIFU by forgetting about the cleaners
Here is an email I just sent to the manager of the cleaning company that visits my household twice a week:
> Good evening,
>
> Due to scheduling changes, I lost track of the fact that our cleaners were coming by today (July 22nd). As such, my husband and I did ... | 4 | 17.25 | |
1374533811 | 1374539706 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | zzaman: TIFU by not washing the dishes.
So my family has an atrocious way of dealing with all things culinary. All of it.
The house is pretty big, so when people go off on their way with dishes... Sometimes those dishes don't get back all that quickly to the kitchen. I myself have to deal with 3 flights of stairs to g... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1374530271 | 1374558921 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | OneHighGiraffa: TIFU Finished paying off my car, then I very stupidly drive over a street divider to make an on ramp, and it basically totals my car.
Engine and transmission damage was estimated to cost more than the old piece.
redbullreptar: Wow that really sucks, but hey you're alive so it could be worse. Hopefully ... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1374538558 | 1374612193 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | Jolivio: TIFU by playing music at work.
To make days go by faster at work, I brought in a portable music speaker that I can set up wherever I'm working. So today, I was moved into a hall to clean floors while a cleaning crew worked on the walls. I plug in my ipod so we can all listen to music while working. This was in... | 4 | 5 | |
1374540857 | 1374641214 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | Buffalo_Ny: TIFU by ignoring my grandma's advice.
So last night my grandma says "sweetie can you take the trash out for me?" Ok. No big deal. I take the bag and put it in a can. It's nothing.
"Oh, and don't drag the bag! There is glass that could break!"
Now I make my first mistake. I step outside and oh shit my shoes... | 3 | 7 | |
1374541156 | 1374562498 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | Westernberg: TIFU by ordering a chest binder. Shit.
Okay, back story. I'm pretty much a closeted trans*, and I won a raffle for a binder. Hell yeah. Buuuuuuuuut, I wasn't sure how my parents are going to react to that. So I secretly sent the sender my address and stuff. So the package is big enough for them to have to ... | 5 | 5.4 | |
1374552776 | 1374553236 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | StratfordJupiter: TIFU by having my ringtone as Taylor Swift
15/M. Anyway, I'm out with a couple of friends and we go to see Pacific Rim. After the movie, we head to the Yogo place down the block. So we get all our stuff and we sit down. Not even 30 seconds after sitting down my phone goes off. Now, this is some 2010 (... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1374545767 | 1374637498 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | Sandwichmixto: TIFU by recognizing Ron Jeremy
I was watching [this music video](http://youtu.be/BR_DFMUzX4E?t=2m) with my mother when I shouted "Oh it's him!" feeling overwhelmed with joy in my natural ability to recognize celebrities. My mother replied "**Oh I know him too!**" Nobody speaks, the video plays. "Sandwich... | 5 | 8.2 | |
1374548458 | 1374690988 | null | t5_2to41 | 64 | pyroperson: TIFU Clorox in my butthole
So it started with me going to the bathroom to drop a load. I noticed that the toilet was dirty and I was not going to sit on that. So i took a clorox wipe and wiped it off real good then proceeded with my business. my legs then had clorox stuff on them so i wiped it off with toil... | 7 | 9.142857 | |
1374559387 | 1374625549 | null | t5_2to41 | 910 | PKfire12: TIFU by masturbating too much
Up to this point, I've always used lotion or Vaseline to twiddle my diddle, and sometimes I would have to borrow some from my mom's bathroom. Well, today my mom came into the bathroom while I was getting a fingerful of Vaseline to take to my room and asked what I needed it for. H... | 26 | 35 | |
1374558411 | 1374592327 | null | t5_2to41 | 145 | [deleted]: TIFU by unknowingly destroying my friend's self esteem because I was vaginally ignorant.
This happened a couple months ago, but I still recall it often and feel ashamed of myself. So I was talking to my bud, like friends do, and the conversation turns to sex, our bodies, etc. At this point in time, I was pre... | 4 | 36.25 | |
1374566743 | 1374817354 | null | t5_2to41 | 71 | wavesofemotion: TIFU by telling my dad "fuck you"
Buckle up ladies and gents, this story gets long. Pretty sure this makes me a horrible person as I feel terrible now. That could also be from the churning of my stomach. A little background:
I'm in school and live with my parents. College is expensive! Gotta save... | 8 | 8.875 | |
1374579229 | 1374753751 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,500 | wrongpicthrowaway: TIFU trying to send nude pics to the GF
So here's my story, happened just 15 minutes ago.
I just got back from the gym and had a shower. I decided to snap a pic of myself to send to the gf and also just as a general progress pic. So anyway, here's where the fuck up happens. As I opened the picture, I... | 12 | 125 | |
1374552600 | 1374641846 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | pesh527: TIFU by going to the bathroom
I was at work, and asked the shift manager to cover my section while I went to the bathroom.
So I get to the bathroom, and two of the three stalls are occupied. I go in the unoccupied stall and do my thing. In a nutshell, what happened next is that when I took my tampon out I a... | 3 | 2 | |
1374593879 | 1374601942 | null | t5_2to41 | 18 | KaiserInch: TIFU by house-sitting at my sisters.
Sister's going out of town and taking her kids. "Hey little brother, do you mind staying at my place a couple days and taking care of the pets?"
It's not a problem. The first part of the afternoon yesterday I got bored and rearranged the alphabet letters on her refrige... | 4 | 4.5 | |
1374624448 | 1374676802 | t3_1iw7xc | t5_2to41 | 6 | A_plural_singularity: You're telling me. I can split the human hair ten times with a grinder, but that kind of talent is disappearing because of CNC. Now don't get me wrong CNC is an amazing thing. We can machine things that were unheard of ten years ago, but it doesn't take much skill to write a program with a compute... | 3 | 2 | |
1374617846 | 1374687640 | null | t5_2to41 | 75 | shoutedfuckme: TIFU by assuming by boyfriend and I were alone
Bit of back story: My boyfriend, "J", lives in an a one bedroom apartment with a currently unemployed roommate who made a makeshift bedroom where the dining room should be. His roommate,"W", gets money from his parents to pay rent/bills so he hardly ever lea... | 4 | 18.75 | |
1374622378 | 1374708895 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | tifuthrowaway123: TIFU By taking a screenshot of a Snapchat
This happened about 20 minutes ago. I was Snapchatting a good friend, who is a female, who was with another female that is a good friend of both of us. They sent a very attractive Snapchat of them both, and just recently learning how to screenshot on my S3, I ... | 4 | 10.25 | |
1374629393 | 1374672132 | null | t5_2to41 | 4,041 | MrTactless: TIFU by telling a joke about anal sex to young children
So today I went out for dinner with my family. My mother is remarried, so we're quite a big but close family; I'm the oldest child (19), I have a brother (14), two stepbrothers (17 and 9) and a stepsister (7). I should also point out that my mother is ... | 12 | 336.75 | |
1374629161 | 1374707295 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | mercenarychainsaw: TIFU by feeding my friends the tip of my thumb.
This actually happened a about a year ago, but its always a good laugh. I've been trying to climb the restaurant ladder for about a year at that time the traditional way (start as a dishwasher and learn hands-on). I had already learned a lot, and also b... | 6 | 7.5 | |
1374629503 | 1374899554 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | BitingInsects: TIFU By Having Senioritis
Failed the second exam in this class that I need to get my Bachelors, 2 weeks before my graduation ceremony. Even if I get 100's on the next two exams, I still won't make a C in order to get credit. I'll be walking, but I have to take and pass this class in the Fall in order to ... | 3 | 2 | |
1374606665 | 1374725077 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | Shitmyselfthrowaway: TIFU by shitting myself whilst running
Do you know the feeling of impending doom? The one that pierces the heart of men and soldiers and turns them to boys? Do you know - truly - the pressure of the inevitable knowledge you are about to shit yourself in a park?
I do. Long story short, I had dinner... | 3 | 3 | |
1374634131 | 1374702312 | null | t5_2to41 | 36 | drawyourgary: TIFU by forgetting to lock the door.
So, today I was driving back from a weekend mountain trip with a few of my friends. We all agreed that we were going to eat at one of our favorite local restaurants on the way out of town. I started to suggest that we go somewhere else, as the church crowd was slowly t... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1374635838 | 1374702330 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | BaubNull: TIFU by sending my dad to /r/trees
Well, he asked me for some advice on a tree and I said I didn't know the answer, but knew where to send him. I honesty never looked at that subreddit before, just thinking it was about all types of trees, not THAT one. Ya, ummmmm, whoops.
ThePotatoGods12: Whats it about? Im... | 6 | 6.5 | |
1374638352 | 1374665923 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | dundunsdbc: TIFU by bleeding out of my ass.
I don't know why, and I don't know how, but I must have fucked up somewhere.
So, I'm just chillin at home playing some Settlers of Catan with the family, and I excuse myself to go drop the kids off at the the pool. While I'm deploying the Navy SEALs, having a pleasant time ... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1374632741 | 1374735471 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Uncomforting: TIFU by using KY warming gel in place of astroglide.
When I reached into my drawer of sex paraphernalia for my tube of astroglide, I was quite disappointed to come to the realization that I had extinguished said tube and failed to replenish my supply. While there, however, I noticed a tube of KY warming g... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1374640576 | 1374716437 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | putnut01: TIFU by killing a fly by punching myself in the balls
Oh god, it still aches. A damn fly/bettle thing...a mutherfucker with wings landed on my boxers and before I could swat it off the dammed thing crawled INTO my boxers via the fly (ironic?) in the front. I felt it crawl on my junk and in my panic mode I pa... | 4 | 12 | |
1374650018 | 1374706125 | null | t5_2to41 | 45 | pooperconfession: TIFU by sharting on my BF's couch and flipping over the cushion
Throwaway because this is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me.
Well, technically this happened about a week ago. I was sitting on the big comfy, plush chair in my boyfriend's parents house, and out of the blue had to fart... | 11 | 4.090909 | |
1374665563 | 1374839992 | null | t5_2to41 | 106 | Abz3L: TIFU by picking up a JUNKIE HITCHHIKER
Ok, so technically this happened last night, but this is what happened. I apologise for the TL;DR in advance, I'm a first-time poster.
I was driving home from my mate's house, at around 11:30pm, when this woman walks out in front of my car, sobbing hysterically and begging... | 7 | 15.142857 | |
1374671412 | 1374757663 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | Ieatcreampie: Wait, so you're not committing suicide? Xpost from r/offmychest
Well, let me just preface by saying that I'm 20 years old I'm an ent and I currently live with my mom, little brother, and my moms boyfriend. I'm moving out in a couple of months but I'm here for the time being. Anyways, even though It's just... | 12 | 5.666667 | |
1374676066 | 1374909475 | null | t5_2to41 | 930 | TheTerribleCat: TIFU by spitting on a cop.
I had no idea that the asshole laying on his horn and screaming at me was a cop. I was on my bike and had signaled to take a left when this guy in a Mercedes roared up behind me. As I was turning he pulled right up next to me to continue yelling. I lost it a little bit, told h... | 13 | 71.538462 | |
1374674910 | 1374690620 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | [deleted]: TIFU by pulling an all-night Netflix marathon.
I was watching Parks and Recreation 2 nights ago and I would keep thinking to myself "just one more episode." Well one more episode turned into one more season.
To make things worse, I had 2, 2-hour classes (math and chem) the next morning on top of 5 hours o... | 6 | 4 | |
1374701880 | 1374739083 | t3_1iyjcv | t5_2to41 | 8 | dackalackdc: both, In Australia we dont really have much of a difference. whatever comes up first in our head
[deleted]: So your uncle and your grandfather are the same person? Could you explain a bit more?
(I'm from the US)
dackalackdc: The term uncle and grandfather are just a word, i use grandfather and uncle for ... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1374683429 | 1374693644 | null | t5_2to41 | 334 | BunsofthePatriots: TIFU by telling my district manager about my sexual harassment problem with my store manager.
So I (23) have been having a problem with comments my 50-year-old boss has been making about my 25-year-old girlfriend, such as "Does she take it in the ass?" Or asking me for pictures of her. This had been ... | 5 | 66.8 | |
1374650057 | 1374714292 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | itismelol: TIFU my math final
This isnt new to me. I've failed many classes before. I failed Calc 3 last spring and decided to take it in the summer...Even though ive never passed a summer class. Anyhow, the semester ended up going decently, I got 85% on quizzes and even 85s on my math exams. I was sure i'd at least en... | 4 | 1.5 | |
1374695831 | 1374782611 | null | t5_2to41 | 535 | tzivje: TIFU by dropping the window a/c unit on top of my sister's car
I'm helping my Mom move out of her house. There was an air conditioner window unit in her office on the second floor, looking out over the driveway. I am the muscle in the family, so I offered to take the a/c downstairs. Well, the window wouldn't op... | 4 | 133.75 | |
1374669650 | 1374729702 | null | t5_2to41 | 49 | Paiste402: TIFU by trying to crush an old couch using my car (video inside)
What the hell was I thinking?
Basically, it was hard rubbish night and we had a 3 seater couch to get rid off but it was longer than the allowed 2 metres to leave it on the street. This couch stank, was itchy and full of holes so it had to go... | 5 | 9.8 | |
1374706435 | 1375591929 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | [deleted]: TIFU by talking to a stranger
I live on a plot of land with two houses, one smaller and one bigger. Today, I was chilling out by myself in the smaller house when I heard knocking on the door. When I finally got up and walked to the door, I was met with a tallish Asian guy standing on my porch. I live in a ru... | 8 | 6.5 | |
1374673083 | 1374711796 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Sir_Dude: TIFU by keeping my sunglasses in my front shirt pocket.
I was out for a walk at about 7pm, when I left, the sun was high in the sky, so I brought my sunglasses. Later it got dim because the sun was setting, so I put my sunglasses in my front shirt pocket.
I was running to cross a very busy street when my sun... | 3 | 1 | |
1374713011 | 1374715964 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU by bringing my dog into Shell
My brother and I decided to go to a Shell convenience store to go get some snacks for five bucks (namely, a big bottle of Coke and an Aero bar). We also took the two dogs, since hey, they could use the fresh air and exercise.
Once we get there, what we usually do is tie th... | 3 | 3 | |
1374720305 | 1374721342 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | CoDxWiZKhalIfA: TIFU by no-scoping
Hugo_Says_Hi: humorous
CoDxWiZKhalIfA: wat does that mean
| 3 | 0.333333 | |
1374722450 | 1374741398 | null | t5_2to41 | 449 | apostrophie: TIFU by leaving my vibrator on my nightstand.
My dog came into my room, grabbed my vibrator from my nightstand, took it to the living room in the middle of my two uncles and my 18 year old cousin. And then somehow turned it on.
TwoWorldsCoexisting: Now they know what kind of shit your dog is into.
CheddarS... | 10 | 44.9 | |
1374721954 | 1374763196 | null | t5_2to41 | 731 | elshiftyx: TIFU by being in the Army... and substituting energy drinks for sleep
To give a bit of background, I haven't slept since Sunday because my job is a wee bit demanding at the moment. I recently moved to a new duty station and today is day 3 of my new job. On Monday, I had to cover a 24 hour duty shift for a co... | 9 | 81.222222 | |
1374647441 | 1374767340 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | monkeygonewild: TIFU by laughing at a guy's story about his dead wife
Unintentional. I was at my partner's work dinner and a few of us (his colleagues) were standing around chatting. I zoned out while a man with a strong accent was talking because I couldn't understand what he was saying. Then, my partner farted very q... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1374727694 | 1374864660 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | asnof: TIFU, I cut myself out of 3000+ legitimately earned dollars
Well the company I work for hasnt paid overtime. One guy I work with rose a stink about it and eventually the company got threatened with an audit. So they had me sign off on a contract that would cut me 1350. That was the "overtime" in 6 months. We... | 4 | 6 | |
1374730541 | 1374782345 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to kiss my best friend.
I met my best friend a number of years ago by a stroke of luck. She was a German girl living here and we happened to bump into each other while I was on a vacation out of state. We only spent the one day together, but we got on so well that we kept in touch, talking on ... | 3 | 10.333333 | |
1374726632 | 1374793685 | null | t5_2to41 | 15 | Guardian2013: TIFU by unplugging the CEO's ADSL.
I work in the IT department. We were doing an audit of ADSL connections. (Most users in our 500+ company use the normal corporate connection that goes through proxy, firewall, etc, but some require a plain adsl link for non-standard stuff) Anyway...
There were 7 ports... | 4 | 3.75 | |
1374726841 | 1374770533 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | jimkolp2: Tifu by failing a test.
I didn't fail the class, just the AP test - do I still get credit? Anyway, I'm a freshman who took calculus last year, and, while I struggled, pulled an A- for the overall class. I got a 1 on the test. It's worth mentioning that the class wasn't AP. How should I tell my parents? It'll ... | 3 | 1 | |
1374732448 | 1374756708 | null | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU and spent a ridiculous amount of money on roaming charges
So my work pays for my cell phone, and I go on business trips like 3 to 5 times a year.
While on these trips, I'm required to make tons of phone calls and check tons of emails, so my work's cool with roaming charges. However, over the past year... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1374759532 | 1374894595 | null | t5_2to41 | 94 | [deleted]: TIFU by trusting a fart
Ladies, we all know how a fart can travel up the vag right? Well i'm at work, I let out a fart thinking its going to be all good but no. I can feel this monster travel up my . So I get up to go to the bathroom and i'm in an office with people, it let out the loudest queef.on the plane... | 10 | 9.4 | |
1374757442 | 1374882076 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | wolfangel85: TIFU by somehow bruising my butthole.
It started yesterday before I went to work. I took a pretty epic dump, the kind that takes a million and one wipes to make sure it's clean. I'm guessing I wiped to hard in my hast to leave for work and possibly bruised the area around my asshole. It feels like someone ... | 6 | 6.333333 | |
1374762539 | 1374799141 | null | t5_2to41 | 460 | LSU-QT: TIFU by making my boss vinegar coffee.
Yesterday I decided to clean the office coffee pot with vinegar. I am not a coffee drinker myself, so I didn't know you were supposed to run a bunch of pots of water to flush it. My boss had just finished chewing out a guy for something he messed up, and was furious. He wa... | 13 | 35.384615 | |
1374764819 | 1374767362 | null | t5_2to41 | 46 | Gore-geous: TIFU - By being rear ended.
So at lunch I was the last of 4 cars in a chain effect rear-ending at a red light.
With an expired license..
...no proof of insurance..
...and no registration.
Why? Because I'm an idiot who'd thrown the contents of my recently broken glovebox into a bag and brought it all int... | 3 | 15.333333 | |
1374762046 | 1374916984 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,106 | [deleted]: TIFU by letting my boyfriend play with my iPhone
From time to time my boyfriend likes to take my iPhone and have Siri change my name to something ridiculous. I came home from a job interview and said hello to my boyfriend's mom who was in the living room, but apparently I pushed the button for Siri and she w... | 11 | 100.545455 | |
1374765864 | 1374953374 | null | t5_2to41 | 47 | jesuschristwhythe: TIFU by walking into a woman's breast
I was out. Walking. It was crowded. I was going down the street when a mother stopped in the middle of the block to pick her kid up, I was walking right behind them and had to do some Reggie Bush shit to make sure I didn't topple over them. So now I'm on the end ... | 4 | 11.75 | |
1374766071 | 1374809337 | null | t5_2to41 | 755 | PandEyez: TIFU by fondling my sisters boob
Happened a couple weeks ago during a family vacation we all took together. It was a beautiful day and a portion of the family was outside enjoying some white wine while we all sat and stood around.
My two sisters and I all live in different countries so we don't get to see e... | 11 | 68.636364 | |
1374762813 | 1374858242 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | anonpothead: TIFU by not passing the driving exam.
Today was my driving exam and i did pretty well compared to the rest, but guess what? That fucker just said "you shall not pass". So here i am writing how pathetic low-life idiot good-for-nothing bastard asshole i was.
And that's not all, this semester my life was jus... | 4 | 1 | |
1374773536 | 1374855218 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | callmechad: TIFU by being sober
Wasn't last night but it was the following night.
So my friends and I went to Mayhem Fest to see Rob Zombie and Fiver Finger death punch. Well the kids I went with like to smoke weed and one of them brought half an O along. I didn't know this and we were half way there when he whipped ... | 7 | 4.428571 | |
1374778728 | 1374783625 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Soccadude123: TIFU: By accidentally talking into my radio
So I'm a firefighter and we are on scene of a supposed electrical fire (false alarm) and I'm standing in a door way with another firefighter as instructed to do. Now just before the alarm went off another firefighter was in the shower. When the tone dropped he c... | 3 | 8 | |
1374788187 | 1374825885 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | LipShiitz: TIFU by getting diarrhea all over my vagina.
So, this wasn't really today, but it was about a 3 months ago. A friend on Skype was reading post on this sub-reddit aloud and I thought I should share my story after hearing the[ post about a fart traveling up some poor lady's vagina at work.](http://www.reddit.c... | 4 | 12.75 | |
1374792720 | 1374812894 | null | t5_2to41 | 121 | Germanakzent: TIFU by telling my wife to Fuck Off in front of my kids
my gal accused me of cheating and I told her "Fuck You!" not realizing that my kids were in the room. This resulted in them screaming, as loud as they could, for hours, "fukyou!" without any understanding of what it meant. they're 3 and 5 years ol... | 4 | 30.25 | |
1374794445 | 1374808537 | null | t5_2to41 | 60 | MomRuns26: TIFU by not paying attention to the man with the chainsaw. Twice.
We had a bad storm go through here a couple of days ago, winds knocked down several trees, which of course had to be cleaned up today.
Our family has a system for this (with 40 acres this happens often). My dad runs the chainsaw and I help h... | 4 | 15 | |
1374795722 | 1374810378 | null | t5_2to41 | 51 | imaylie: TIFUpdate: By staining a chair with my period blood.
So a while ago I wrote [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1huk4k/tifu_by_staining_a_chair_with_my_period_blood/) story here. If you haven't already, I recommend you to read it or else you won't really understand this post.
Anyways, today I got t... | 6 | 8.5 | |
1374802161 | 1374838174 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | Ducksen: TIFU by bringing my 3ds into the bathroom
So I brought my 3ds in the bathroom and most would expect that I would drop it in the toilet right? Well,it went a bit differently. I set my 3ds down by the sink and after washing my hands it magically flew into the bubble filled sink. I panicked and quickly opened it ... | 4 | 5.75 | |
1374790260 | 1374849913 | null | t5_2to41 | 125 | [deleted]: TIFU when I wrote a story for my writing class
I've been going to summer school at the University of Texas at Austin. One of my courses is "Writing Matters", and my job is to write stuff. So yesterday our teacher told us to write a story about "My teacher's new shoes". We just had to write something about th... | 9 | 13.888889 | |
1374804143 | 1374902334 | null | t5_2to41 | 21 | fionavegas: TIFU by using my friend's ID and racking up a hospital bill
So I'm 20 (legal in Canada), but was on vacation to Vegas. I borrowed a friend's ID and I got into the pool parties. At one of the pool parties, I got dehydrated and ended up in an ambulance and hospital for intoxication/dehydration.
Now, about a... | 3 | 7 | |
1374809847 | 1374894452 | null | t5_2to41 | 162 | Ancel3: TIFU by not brushing my teeth since I was six
Alright, so I'm sixteen right now, and I don't have very good personal hygiene. In fact, I haven't brushed my teeth nightly for years.
ANYWHO, my younger brother had a checkup about a month ago, and my mom liked the dentist and said that we should come in later and... | 11 | 14.727273 | |
1374811963 | 1374852471 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | _nigga_please_: i did it like a hour or 2 ago
i had a summer school assignment do in the morning (like 8:00) and i have another assignment due tom that is basically the same but i forgot how to calculate and i realized the sheet i did earlier winch i was using for a example went missing. oh and i think i accidentally s... | 5 | 1 | |
1374813015 | 1374895540 | null | t5_2to41 | 6 | Moose_Morris87: By yelling at my brothers. (1 week ago)
So I was facetiming a really cool girl that I like. She said that she liked me the same way. And my brothers are at the age were they believe they don't have to listen to me. So I started yelling at them while I was facetiming with her. I told her I would call he... | 10 | 0.6 | |
1374818031 | 1374952657 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | jordanb3387: TIFU by allowing my ignorant coworker to hold on to my signed first edition copy of "Damned" ,by Chuck Pahalniuk"
I Brought my signed first edition copy of Damned by Chuck Pahalniuk to work today. This was my favorite piece of my Book collection, due to Having Pahalniuk sign it after meeting him. He is als... | 7 | 3.428571 | |
1374819253 | 1374966736 | null | t5_2to41 | 52 | kaflowsinall: TIFU by urinating in a sink
When I used to live with my parents, my bedroom was downstairs in the basement. In the back room (unfinished basement) there's a sink, and whenever I'd wake up in the middle of the night and have to take a piss, I'd just walk to the back room, pee in the sink, run a little wat... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1374827464 | 1374962366 | null | t5_2to41 | 87 | chamma79: TIFU by putting purell on my balls
I read on here recently that you can put hand sanitizer on your armpits to stop them from smelling.
My sack was smelling to high heaven.
I couldn't have a shower as my towels were being washed so I decided to try purelling them.
First it was cool. Than it felt really wa... | 6 | 14.5 | |
1374845613 | 1374912850 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,015 | I_Blue_The_Doctor: TIFU by sending my mom sex toys
So my family is having a big reunion this weekend and my mom wanted a specific kind of mosquito repellent that she could only find on Amazon. Since I have Amazon Prime, I said I would 2-day ship it to her house so that it could be there in time for the festivities.
A... | 12 | 84.583333 | |
1374847547 | 1374901757 | null | t5_2to41 | 193 | pingomg: TIFU by getting BioFreeze on my ball sack
A couple days ago I went through a round of Physical therapy for my left knee; however my Physical therapist must have felt like showing off to his cute new “intern”. As a result he had me contorting into all kinds of weird shapes, doing strange exercises and having me... | 6 | 32.166667 | |
1374849552 | 1374900356 | null | t5_2to41 | 239 | [deleted]: TIFU by shopping online while on the toilet
Normally my bathroom trips are quick. I'm not a toilet redditor. But today was a different story. I knew I was in for the long haul with this one. So when the time came to greet the bathroom I grabbed my purse, which had my ipad in it, and sat down.
I opened up eb... | 4 | 59.75 | |
1374854618 | 1374879667 | null | t5_2to41 | 42 | galaxyhug: TIFU by soaking my unwitting mother's knickers in my urine
(This happened about a week back and I'm posting this on behalf of my boyfriend (he did it!) who doesn't have an account, but hey, it's a funny story...)
So, my boyfriend and I had been out drinking with friends from about 5pm (his band had played a... | 4 | 10.5 | |
1374854079 | 1374858073 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by losing the greatest relationship that I have ever had.
Hey, Reddit,
I’m a longterm lurker and just joined last night.
Hi! I love Breaking Bad. Very much so. Obsessed would be a great word. Malcom in the Middle is another show that I love (Bryan Cranston is pretty great overall, just saying!).I l... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1374787659 | 1374912385 | null | t5_2to41 | 23 | spoontwo: TIFU by drinking too many Starbucks drinks with not enough sleep
Background: I work for an events company doing sound/lighting/video. Hours can be horrendous with little thanks from the client. It's not glamourous.
So last week (sorry, not today!) we had a fairly big catwalk show for a major fashion label. ... | 3 | 7.666667 | |
1374862977 | 1375434079 | null | t5_2to41 | 177 | Captainhowarth: TIFU by greeting an old woman with my dick out.
Today I decided to have a lazy day, basically lounge around in a shirt and shorts doing nothing apart from watching films.I hear a knock on the door and stand up to answer it forgetting that I am wearing shorts with buttons on the front.
I open the door to... | 11 | 16.090909 | |
1374883486 | 1374947144 | null | t5_2to41 | 139 | [deleted]: TIFY by letting my inner pyromaniac come out.
If you look through my posts, you may see a post by me about 4 hours ago, asking what I should do, as I am home alone for a long time. I got bored of fapping and netflix, so I decided to let my inner pyromaniac come out to play.
Outside, there is a setup of abou... | 8 | 17.375 | |
1374886253 | 1374955992 | null | t5_2to41 | 70 | lionlament: TIFU by wiping diarrhea off my hand during a hike with my girlfriend and her mom
Yes, it’s a poop story.
My girlfriend’s mom has been visiting for the past week and the three of us (me, girlfriend, and mom) have been doing fun, touristy day activities. Yesterday my stomach was grumbly after a spicy meal. N... | 4 | 17.5 | |
1374893837 | 1374950953 | null | t5_2to41 | 888 | Anal_Floodgates: TIFU by eating Burger King.
I sit here, my bare ass on my computer because my shorts are covered in shit. Of course I could watch them, but my priorities are straight and I want to share my story. Like all great stories, this one starts with a trip to Burger King. I was hanging out with some friends... | 10 | 88.8 | |
1374878281 | 1374977412 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | moartrees: TIFU by having a naked nap in a youth hostel kitchen
So I decided to take a little trip to the coast in Italy, travelling alone so unfortunately nobody to help me keep my head screwed on. It started with a quiet sunset beer, absolutely stunning setting in a fairly sleepy town. I then met a group of Australia... | 5 | 6.2 | |
1374894965 | 1374909039 | null | t5_2to41 | 39 | Zakino: TIFU by turning off my brain.
This happened no more then 5 hours ago. While in a stupor I started to get careless with the commands I was using on my computer.
I have been playing around with Serial to USB converter all day and upon getting it working it the stream coming into my computer and terminal was all... | 6 | 6.5 | |
1374897355 | 1375101279 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | suicidenotfunny: Several months ago IFU by making a suicide joke at a kid who committed suicide's funeral...
This happened several months ago, but I just decided to post it here.
So a few months ago someone at my school committed suicide, the 2nd one in less than a month, obviously it was a very tough time for everyon... | 4 | 4.75 |
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