start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1374901388 | 1375222952 | null | t5_2to41 | 34 | words-upon-words: TIFU by eating an apple.
So im trying to diet, and today is my first real day putting in that effort. Its late at night, and i'm like "cool, instead of ice cream ill have an apple." I sit down and really start to enjoy it, everything is fine. then I taste this really earthy fowl taste, and I'm thinkin... | 5 | 6.8 | |
1374930643 | 1374976675 | null | t5_2to41 | 27 | [deleted]: TIFU by leaving my windows open.
So, yesterday I arranged to meet up with two of my friends to go and see the new Wolverine movie. But it was a bit ''last minute'', as I had an hour to travel by train. So I got dressed and got ready to get out the door.
I live on the top floor so I often leave my windows o... | 3 | 9 | |
1374927587 | 1374948867 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | -AceMonkey-: TIFU by stealing someone's drink.
So I was at the train station when I noticed a vending machine had a 2€ credit. So I was like yeah a fee drink! I look around to check nobody was actually using the machine. I didn't see anybody so pressed the button for a bottle of coke. And right when I falls down a lady... | 3 | 4 | |
1374895225 | 1375664322 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | orca-whale: TIFU by losing my bike and my cellphone over the course of one weird day.
Today I lost my bike and my cellphone. Who ever would steal a crappy pink and blue bike from the 80s meant for a 10 year old girl is a sick person and they suck. DONT STEAL BIKES. Also I have no cellphone now because earlier in the da... | 4 | 1 | |
1374930297 | 1374997046 | null | t5_2to41 | -17 | delicatelittleflower: TIFU by (apparently) falling asleep with the water running
OK yesterday was like the *worst* day of my life! So I went to the bar to have a few beers. I was like, I'm getting shitfaced. So I barely remember the walk home. I woke up in the bathtub so I rinsed and dried off. I came downstairs. It's ... | 4 | -4.25 | |
1374960041 | 1375011203 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,302 | SparkyDogPants: TIFU and woke up in a pile of my own vomit, feces, and blood.
This happened a few years ago, but it's probably my biggest TIFU.
So I woke up one morning with an intense urge to vomit.
I start running towards the bathroom and make it four steps before I start projectile vomiting everywhere. I apparent... | 14 | 93 | |
1374962476 | 1374987757 | null | t5_2to41 | 144 | [deleted]: TIFU by masturbating with my dads shaving cream.
This morning I woke up feeling good, and being a hormonal teenager I decided to masturbate. My parents weren't home so I pretty much could do whatever I wanted. I made my way to the bathroom to look for some lube, I see my dads shaving cream and take it with m... | 5 | 28.8 | |
1374957005 | 1375064438 | null | t5_2to41 | 102 | Dagegen: TIFU by almost cutting off my finger
Well, first I want to appologize for any mispelling or grammatical error, english is not my native language, and I'm still shocked from what has happened.
So today there's a football match between Bayern Munich and Dortmund, the two CL semi finalists of last year. I'm by n... | 7 | 14.571429 | |
1374961909 | 1374992595 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | [deleted]: TIFU by having drunken sex with my neighbor an hour after meeting him. NSFW
Ugh, so I just got back in town and my roommate and I kind of went on a bender to celebrate, also because I'm about to go on a hardcore diet and exercise streak and won't be drinking for awhile. Anyway, said roommate and I were hangi... | 5 | 2.6 | |
1374969890 | 1374983282 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | [deleted]: TIFU by not getting an obvious hint to have sex
Today , I was at a party with a girl I really liked. Upon getting a little drunk , we decide to play truth or dare in a round of her best friends (all females , I am male). Many of the dared females said no to their decided things to do , but the girl I was wit... | 4 | 2.5 | |
1374981300 | 1375057415 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,000 | assbox22: TIFU by jerking off (NSFW)
Alright. From the title you may think that this is just another fuck up about jerking off after touching peppers. But no. This is worse. Also, this fuck up happened last night, but I had to suffer the consequences today.
I recently went to the dermatologist about these bumps on my ... | 6 | 166.666667 | |
1374990483 | 1374992443 | null | t5_2to41 | 81 | AlreadyGoingToHell: TIFU by trying to have sex with my bf.
So this happened last night.
Me and my bf got some alcohol last night, he got cider and I got wine. I thought it would be fun to get tipsy and have sex, cause its generally pretty fun. Well no that didn't happen.
So we were in bed and i've had 5 glasses of win... | 5 | 16.2 | |
1374991133 | 1374998226 | null | t5_2to41 | 91 | Psychesoteric: TIFU a job interview due to my ringtone
After four long years completing my B.S., I am job searching, and interviewing everywhere I can. I luckily obtain an interview at Merck, and all seems to be going well up until my ringtone goes off..." **MULATTO BUTTS, (Mulatto Butts)! BLACK AND WHITE BUTTS, (Black... | 6 | 15.166667 | |
1374991252 | 1375077055 | null | t5_2to41 | 57 | JPSpiller: TIFU by jerking off with Vaporub.
So it happened to be extremely late at night/very early in the morning, and my whole family was asleep. Being a hormonal driven teenager, I couldn't let this opportunity to relieve myself of some built up stress pass. I wasn't looking for any old normal session though...oh n... | 5 | 11.4 | |
1375015298 | 1375051213 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,867 | tyin_kn0ts: TIFU by not believing my sister
Okay, so a little background info: my sister is 14 and is a huge drama queen. She over exaggerates everything and always have. So, today was no different in my book.
She came into my room about 1:00 this morning to talk. We (mostly I) spoke about our feelings towards my par... | 12 | 155.583333 | |
1374991172 | 1375036731 | null | t5_2to41 | 68 | Moose_Morris87: TIFU by thinking diarrhea was sweat.
So I was really sick and staying at my grandmas house. When in the middle of the night I woke up and thought I was just over sweating in my genitals region. So I reached down and it just felt like sweat so I fell back asleep. I woke up again and felt it and this time... | 9 | 7.555556 | |
1375031849 | 1375050265 | null | t5_2to41 | 16 | Balboa709: TIFU by showing my father my dick.
Well, this is actually a yesterday evening tifu, but it still feels like it today.
So last night I was jamming with one of my bands in my fathers barn. Its a big barn where we used to keep chickens, ducks, etc and it's now mostly a storage space, minus the old hay loft whe... | 4 | 4 | |
1375018359 | 1375764480 | null | t5_2to41 | 84 | TrollocsBollocks: TIFU by going to the bathroom
Last night was pizza night. We've been on a very tight budget these past couple of months so it was a real treat. Usually, if there are some leftovers I will have a cold slice of pizza with my coffee the next morning. I decided to do that while enjoying some creepypast... | 4 | 21 | |
1375041886 | 1375117508 | null | t5_2to41 | 762 | Eliii5: TIFU by getting my butt stuck in a dog door
Today I woke up and went to get the morning paper in my front yard. I live in a small house with just one roommate, and our door is set up so that the handle can lock on the outside. You can probably see where I'm going with this. Not thinking, I closed the door behin... | 12 | 63.5 | |
1375043369 | 1375101262 | null | t5_2to41 | 192 | nosebleed69: TIFU by trying out new jokes
This is a more cringeworthy TIFU post.Today I went clothes shopping. And in my area, many of the clothing stores are staffed by attractive women. So being the male that I am, I didn't mind asking for help and flirting with one particular cashier who had a better eye for fashion... | 4 | 48 | |
1375046089 | 1375056485 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | Aurey: TIFU by taking someone else' cart
Went to Home Depot today to buy stuff for my new (first) house. Walked around for about 30 minutes collecting stuff. At the 40 minute mark I looked down and didn't recognize anything in the cart.....
I proceeded to retrace my steps and found my cart next to the keys cutting ma... | 4 | 5 | |
1375052880 | 1375060728 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | MySistersAhBitch: TIFU by narcing out my neighbor
Neighbor apparently has a history of cheating on the S.O.
Again, today, I recently see opposite sex leaving their place while the S.O. is not around.
Today I see S.O. car full of their clothes, did they find out on their own??? To add insult to injury I passed on a me... | 3 | 3 | |
1375057855 | 1375325820 | null | t5_2to41 | 190 | mruriah: TIFU by almost stealing someone else's van
So about half an hour ago or so I ran up to Walgreen's to pick up some raisins and balloons to make a batch of Mead. After wandering around for a bit I found they didn't have balloons, but I figured I'd go ahead and get the raisins so it would be one less stop another... | 5 | 38 | |
1375055104 | 1375167087 | null | t5_2to41 | 117 | abby89: TIFU by not buttoning my cargo pocket
Yesterday I went to an amusement park. Typically when I go, I make sure to wear cargo shorts so I can put my phone in and have it be somewhat secure. I like to have it so I can take pictures. My friend texted me right before I got on the biggest, fastest ride, and I guess I... | 15 | 7.8 | |
1375068414 | 1375421378 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | Gumby2369: TIFU by quenching my thirst
Well I spent this fine southern Sunday at a man made lake on the border of South Carolina and Georgia. It was a surprisingly nice day, very little humidity but the sun was as hot as ever.
My family and I spent the day frolicking and playing in the water as one should during a da... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1375070962 | 1375158958 | null | t5_2to41 | 319 | ThrownAway956: TIFU by falling asleep with really kinky interactive porn on my Computer Screen
Hey Reddit. You know the way when, whenever you cum... you get really tired after?
Yeah. So I made the mistake of masturbating. In bed. Late at Night. While tired. Here is what transpired.
You see, I have weird fetishes. I'... | 7 | 45.571429 | |
1375075105 | 1375078132 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | [deleted]: TIFU by getting my dick sucked. (NSFW)
This happened about 30 minutes ago, sadly. Today started off as a normal day. I had some plans to hangout with some friends and do a little drinking. Before I started drinking anything I thought that I'd get the party started by finishing half a J I had the night before... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1375076609 | 1375128488 | null | t5_2to41 | 130 | freakDWN: TIFU By jumping from a moving vehicle.
Technically it was not today but last friday, hope you forgive me there. Also, forgive the bad english of a spanish speaker.
So I´m a nervous guy,and this week, the money my parents gave me for college went away faster than usual, because I had to buy some groceries o... | 7 | 18.571429 | |
1375078006 | 1375086264 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | [deleted]: TIFU by watching the Columbine Shooting footage.
I could only watch about a minute of it, very disturbing. Awful. Depressing. Not that I didn't have sympathy and sensitivity about it before, but this just made me appreciate (for lack of better terms) how real this was and how heartbreaking and scary school s... | 13 | 1.538462 | |
1375063760 | 1375361749 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | Heisenburglars: TIFU by overreacting to winning.
So, I was playing Halo 4 at my friends house. We played like 5 matches, and I had been doing horribly.
We start up a game of free for all and we get at it. Intense game. Last 20 seconds and im tied with my friend who is sitting there split screening with me. I win by a ... | 6 | 2.833333 | |
1375098212 | 1375219494 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by shitting myself. probably NSFW
Okay so here I am, just sitting on the roof just having a J and I really, really, needed to fart. So I tested it a bit felt alright, thought "fuck it" blew it out and shit myself a wet, sloppy load.
I had to get off the roof straight away so I jumped back through the w... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1375063633 | 1375113922 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | earthtopj: TIFU by forcing a shart.
ok, sigh. this happened last night.
my friend, brother and i went to go watch a movie at a local theatre. im getting over a stomach flu so ive been passing gas lately, sorry for the TMI. so we find a parking spot and i thought it would be funny to rip a huge one before we leave to s... | 3 | 8.333333 | |
1375113068 | 1375172477 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,010 | usernamesabitch: TIFU by trying to help an elderly man use IE on windows 8
Okay, so I just got off work today and I had to tell this story somewhere. I work in a call center for a cable company for their tech support. Today I got a specific call about something along the lines of "When I open internet explorer all that... | 9 | 112.222222 | |
1374517405 | 1375119629 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | noreallyimthepope: TIFU by almost causing a traffic accident
As I was making a left turn in an intersection, I didn't see a girl (~13 years) coming up from a car on the opposite side. Consequently, I drove out right in front of her. Luckily, she slammed on her bike brakes and stopped in time to avoid a collision with m... | 4 | 1 | |
1375117407 | 1375213645 | null | t5_2to41 | 7 | hoptail05: TIFU by chasing a ping-pong ball.
This actually happened a few years ago. I was hanging out with a friend at a school dance, and a ping-pong ball rolled our way from a nearby table. I picked it up and gave it to my friend because she wanted to hold it for some reason. She looked at me before throwing the bal... | 3 | 2.333333 | |
1375132147 | 1375185183 | null | t5_2to41 | 65 | Sonoris: TIFU and it looks like I do IV drugs
Once upon a time I stuck a sewing needle into a syringe to use as a prop for a drawing I was doing. Kept it in case I wanted to do something else with it.
Months later I'm cleaning/reorganizing the upstairs of the house (I have free reign of the 3 rooms + bathroom) so thin... | 3 | 21.666667 | |
1375132821 | 1375161144 | null | t5_2to41 | 17 | wrenemerson: TIFU by failing the Jersey turnpike
I went on a road trip to visit my mom last week. It was my first time driving to NYC. My map app told me that it was a toll road so I pulled out $20 cash thinking it would be plenty. I'm from the midwest and I've never paid a toll that was higher than maybe $4. I've made... | 4 | 4.25 | |
1375139769 | 1375195661 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | DJLinFL: TIFU by not renewing my vision coverage Jan 1.
I bought new glasses a year ago and new lenses into my old frame at considerable cost, subsidized by insurance. I figured I wouldn't need vision care for at least another year, so I did not renew coverage January 1.
Now I have spots and other freaky things in my ... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1375169914 | 1375171354 | null | t5_2to41 | 1 | [deleted]: TIFU by trying to run away from a cab driver without paying for the ride.
The ride itself cost about 500 RUB, which is basically like 17 bucks or so.
So...
We ride up to the apartment complex where my friend lives. I run out of the car. Hit my head on the car door as I am getting out.
Trip on a rock. Demo... | 3 | 0.333333 | |
1375183757 | 1375227038 | null | t5_2to41 | 774 | ScottyFalcon: TIFU by going on a date with a girl my best friend was interested in.
Fuck, I did not intend for this to happen the way it did.
I just moved to a new city and my best friend has been awesome, welcomed me in to his home to rent from him when my previous domicile was made unavailable due to my other friend... | 9 | 86 | |
1375191950 | 1375306607 | null | t5_2to41 | 247 | Tommywom: TIFU by helping/crashing an elderly man on his electric mobility scooter
Just sitting in a Starbucks thinking how i shouldn't have ordered a triple caramel frappe. I notice a man using an electric scooter who cant make a corner because of his bad hand. I go over and say ill help him turn and get him round the... | 4 | 61.75 | |
1375194784 | 1375278398 | null | t5_2to41 | 158 | dauteuile: TIFU by getting my boss in trouble with the people who write both out paychecks
So I work as an intern at a bank and on fridays most people go home early. Well last friday my boss and I were practically the only ones in the still in the office after lunch so she allowed my to go home early, but offered to pa... | 10 | 15.8 | |
1375199992 | 1375216628 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | [deleted]: TIFU. Thought this guy was hitting on me the whole time...he was just trying to help me.
There's this guy at work who had admitted to liking me at first, but I turned him down because of my boyfriend. Thought he still did throughout the year because he's asked me to lunch and to go to the beach. My dad took ... | 7 | 5.428571 | |
1375202318 | 1375250262 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | nellapoo: TIFU by going on a new amusement ride.
One fine summer day 20 years ago my best friend & I decided to go to the mall. I was 13, it was the early 90's & so I decided to wear a [cropped shirt](http://img0.etsystatic.com/001/1/6387571/il_fullxfull.363369264_jqz8.jpg) sans bra since, well, I was not reall... | 5 | 6 | |
1375199144 | 1375212590 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | Chilaxbro: TIFU by putting ear wax dissolvent in one of my eyes
I am near sighted, and I can only recognize things by shape and color when I don't have my glasses on. My eyes were pretty dry this morning, so I went to put a few eye drops in. I had forgotten that I had an ear wax dissolvent bottle that looked exactly th... | 4 | 12 | |
1375203350 | 1375270304 | null | t5_2to41 | 270 | bokin8: TIFU by getting my hair caught in the fan while I was about to engage in intercourse
My boyfriend turned on the fan before things got heated. It sits right beside my bed which I normally have on at night while sleeping. We were getting really into it and I ended up horizontal on the bed in the nude. The next th... | 6 | 45 | |
1375204723 | 1375258052 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,699 | tybeedoo: TIFU by illegally downloading porn. Fuck.
Well reddit, today I finally have a worthy post. Not happy about it though. About a week ago I was at my friends house, having a good LAN party, and I was using my new laptop. It's actually my first laptop so I was pretty excited. Something I had always wanted was my ... | 11 | 245.363636 | |
1375207755 | 1375305413 | null | t5_2to41 | 3 | Heartnotes: TIFU and clicked the wrong email address for a confession that I immediately regretted the next morning
This is why social media is the devil
Gunski: Details?
Heartnotes: It's what happens when you're tired and have been talking to the director of DHX Media for a while about how terrible fandoms are, Tumblr... | 3 | 1 | |
1375211372 | 1375211916 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU by cumming in front of my dad.
Story goes me and my girlfriend were in the middle of going heels to Jesus when my dad opened the basement door. We quickly separated and i pulled my pants up, condom still on but i was beyond the point of no return. I finished as he watched us play GTA.
i_use_evernote: ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1375233754 | 1375243660 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | Merrimux: TIFU by showing off my ability to hang upside down like a bat on my own poorly fastened pull-up bar.
I bought a pull-up bar online a few months ago. Since I've had it I've gone from being able to do 0 pull-ups to being able to do about 10 at a time. Naturally I enjoy showing people the progress I've made, and... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1375232629 | 1375277244 | null | t5_2to41 | 38 | elah007_: TIFU by trying to be a cross-country badass
I'm in the process of training for cross country in the fall at my new school, and naturally not wanting to be the suckiest person on the team AND the new girl I've been working pretty hard.
Today I was going to run 1000's in the park, but it was raining. "Who cares... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1375240613 | 1375248429 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | Proclaim_the_Name: TIFU by cutting open my finger with a box cutter.
Finally, I have something to submit to this subreddit! I work at a well known department store, and today I was using my box cutter to cut and flatten out boxes for a co-worker. With my cutter still in my right hand, I tried to pull apart the cardboar... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1375249735 | 1375733870 | null | t5_2to41 | 193 | aidenchaos: Tifu by showing my store assistant manager my pics
So today at work I was bsing with my assistant manager. I told her about how I was doing a project at home, changing the LEDs on my Xbox controller. I went to show her a pic and as I scrolled to the next pic... It kept scrolling, landing on a pic of my rock... | 11 | 17.545455 | |
1375255096 | 1375296400 | null | t5_2to41 | 340 | theroyalalastor: TIFU by sleeping with my best friend and his roommate on the same couch and having them both find out about it at the same time.
This one's long, sorry. TL;DR - My lucky panties failed me, but they also got me laid, so I'm having trouble assessing my feelings towards them right now.
Some background, ... | 8 | 42.5 | |
1375225199 | 1375305027 | null | t5_2to41 | 24 | Despicable_Genius: TIFU by throwing a tennis ball at my friend
So, at work we have a kind of friendly game where we throw tennis balls at each other. A tennis ball was throw and I picked it up and was about to make a pretty sneaky long range attack. I threw it and missed. It bounced along and knocked some woman's coffe... | 3 | 8 | |
1375277484 | 1375592685 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | TiberiusX2: TIFU by skating
I have a new gf who I absolutely adore, and I wanted to take her skating for fun. We get there and skate a little bit, when I notice my ex gf who I'm still in love with. Me, being the idiot I am, wants to impress her, so I skater around the rink a few times, and then, I fall. Right on my ass... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1375269702 | 1375284666 | null | t5_2to41 | 13 | tim_ninethousand: TIFU by burning soup.
Yes, soup.
My first error was misjudging the amount of water I needed to use. I’d never made this kind of soup before. I don’t do a whole lot of cooking. So, put the ingredients in the pot. In go the pieces of cut up carrot, and the cut up onion, the chicken legs. All in ... | 3 | 4.333333 | |
1375280072 | 1375316270 | null | t5_2to41 | 755 | ecudorian: Thought of a childhood TIFU
I just saw a post on the front page of funny about a nail being more aggressive on feet than legos, and it made me think of when I was young and possibly retarded.
So a friend and I are approximately age 12, walking through a construction site. I see a large Route 44 sonic cup (t... | 7 | 107.857143 | |
1375288809 | 1375293124 | null | t5_2to41 | 20 | PublicAccount3: [meta?] Hi guys! I made a public account!
Hi!
I made a public account so anyone can use it for a throwaway or anything you want.So to keep it public I verified the account to a random e-mail that I created so if someone changes it's password I would reset it back to normal.
**Username**: PublicAccount... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1375294738 | 1375372957 | t3_1jfnub | t5_2to41 | 1,298 | StanleyDecker: The owner of my company and my boss are both eastern european expatriots, I'm wondering if the humor just didn't translate or if there's some cultural stigma against a guy joking about getting fingers in his butt maybe.
FapFapLulz: Eastern Europeans hate gays and you made a joke about someone fingering y... | 18 | 72.111111 | |
1375298788 | 1375301833 | null | t5_2to41 | 11 | Underoath2981: TIFU by eating $10,000 worth of turnips.
This happened while I was playing animal crossing new leaf. I'd bought 270 turnips from the Sunday turnip lady at 95 bells a piece. I then went to try and drop 100 of them onto the floor of my home but instead I fed them to my character.
Now I'm stuck with 170 m... | 4 | 2.75 | |
1375298660 | 1375329580 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | RnRaintnoisepolution: TIFU by watching The Human Centipede 2
EDIT: SPOILERS if you're crazy enough to watch it.
I couldn't sleep last night (at a time that was technically today) so I decided to watch this movie, I watched the first one and personally I thought it was nothing, maybe one or two cringe-worthy scenes b... | 5 | 6.6 | |
1375319131 | 1375349228 | t3_1jfx8t | t5_2to41 | 15 | pezz29: Don't worry. Considering you're in hospital you're not a strong candidate for 'if left untreated.'
Brown recluses generally fall in the category of get your ass to the hospital immediately and you'll be fine.
CyborgDragon: Right up there with black widows, brown widows, bats, and rusty metal.
PixelOrange: You ... | 5 | 3 | |
1375302688 | 1375477256 | null | t5_2to41 | 288 | raunchy_malanche: TIFU making plans for the day
Was supposed to get up, go for a run, meet for coffee, and go to a baseball game. I ended up getting baked, watching judges give death sentences on YouTube, essentially creating synthetic sorrow and depression until eventually I had to poop. You make a large self-realizat... | 4 | 72 | |
1375302092 | 1375319987 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | 99-LS1-SS: Another childhood TIFU
I read the story about the guy stomping the cup that he placed on a nail to keep it still and it reminded me of the time when I was a small child that knew everything at a young age. I had seen in some cartoon where a character stepped on a rake and it hit him in the face. Since I wa... | 4 | 7.25 | |
1375299209 | 1375411238 | null | t5_2to41 | 22 | Avr33: TIFU by poking myself in the eye with a twist tie.
I was eating kettle corn with my right hand and the twist tie was in my left hand. So in the middle of a bite/handful I decided it was a good idea to scratch my nose with my left hand. The end of the twist tie went directly into my eye. I had it looked at by my ... | 5 | 4.4 | |
1375307652 | 1375624342 | null | t5_2to41 | 29 | Despicable_Genius: TIFU by knocking myself out
This actually happened a couple months ago. I was at my mom's house and was taking a shower. I was all clean and I went to wash my face. I closed my eyes and got the soaped up. I put my face into the water to rinse and topped breathing. I guess at some point I forgot to b... | 5 | 5.8 | |
1375308811 | 1375830674 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | GoodWorkApple: TIFU, but Apple Fucked up More. Steve Jobs attacks from the grave (x-post from r/funny)
I got a Droid Razr M with Verizon a couple months ago with a new phone number. A few days ago, I was contacted by the woman that used to have my new phone number. She left me a voicemail stating that she turned on her... | 5 | 10 | |
1375310314 | 1375313729 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | epickhaos: TIFU by inhaling a cherry(not the fruit)
so this was actually about a week ago, i just got lazy and ddnt post immediately.
so my girlfriend was hitting my bong. its about two feet so i usually torch it for her and pull the bowl because she cant see when its burnt all the way.
well this time i put just a w... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1375306586 | 1375396594 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | CherryMx: TIFU Jizzing all over the carpet
So I was fully naked jerking it to some good old internet porn. It's been a few days since I last had a date with Jill and I felt like going for as long as I could. I was edging, getting near the point of cumming, for quite a while now and was near busting. Anyways, I hear the... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1375325568 | 1375388914 | null | t5_2to41 | 31 | chrisreese94: TIFU by getting lost and sinking my dads car in a puddle...
TIFU by getting lost. I was on my way to meet my dad at a golf course for a nice afternoon round. My brilliant iPhone gps decided to tell me to make a right on a street, so I did. It took me off a paved road and on to a dirt road. At first, I was... | 7 | 4.428571 | |
1375326112 | 1375374450 | null | t5_2to41 | 48 | McShalepants: TIFU by wiping my ass with a hand sanitizing wipe.
Was thinking about it, but fuck a throwaway.
So I read a comment on Reddit a few days ago in the thread of "don't knock it til you try it" about how baby wipes were superior to toilet paper. There weren't any baby wipes in the bathroom at work, but there... | 3 | 16 | |
1375329275 | 1375388520 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | throwawaykitten07: TIFU by trying to make a friend
Well, to start it off, throwaway for obvious reasons. A little back story: My sister introduced her friend to me a couple years ago, turns out she really liked me since she first saw me so I decided it would be best to not get too close to her, I had already had my gir... | 3 | 3 | |
1375332373 | 1375343511 | null | t5_2to41 | 12 | tifuthrowaway69: TIFU by having a threesome
I've been in a pretty serious relationship with a great guy for about 5 months now. We even started talking about a future together and I knew we would be going out for quite a while. I'm 20 F and he's 27 but the age gap doesn't bug either of us.
I'm away visiting my parent... | 3 | 4 | |
1375330704 | 1375375586 | null | t5_2to41 | 217 | kd907: TIFU by flipping off a car that honked at me in a parking lot. Turned out to be my 66-year-old high school English teacher.
I was walking through a parking lot when all of a sudden this car blares its horn at me. It was blazing hot and I'd been out walking around all day, so being the cranky badass wannabe 21-ye... | 3 | 72.333333 | |
1375345694 | 1375454101 | null | t5_2to41 | 149 | guardian1991: TIFU by weightlifting
Was asked to feed by sister in laws pets while she was away for the weekend. Fed the pets, decided to take up her husband's offer of using his weights set.
Complete a few bench presses, figure that would be enough.
Unfortunately, the bar wasn't balanced when removing the weights a... | 8 | 18.625 | |
1375365920 | 1375392210 | null | t5_2to41 | 2 | adrian12356: TIFU by having a party
Some backstory, my parents left me home alone for a week while they where in las vegas. So of course I tried to do what any teenager left home alone for a week would try to do, have a huge party.
with the plan in place i got some of my friends to help me setup, we moved almost ever... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1375373173 | 1375629288 | null | t5_2to41 | 1,160 | Captainhowarth: TIFU by having another dick adventure
Not today but last year.
So I'm a part timer working for the British army voluntarily. Occasionally I work with cadets but mostly do paperwork. Anyway now and again I get the chance to apply for more exciting work which can include having to visit quite senior offi... | 11 | 105.454545 | |
1375373389 | 1376000423 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU by speaking before thinking.
Ok let me start by saying this was not even my fault. My Wife and I have been having babysitting troubles. We had a live in babysitter and she left then my wife's dad was with us and he left.
So my wife and I were talking about what we are going to do. She asked me " Do you... | 5 | 1 | |
1375386664 | 1375464220 | null | t5_2to41 | 3,085 | [deleted]: TIFU by skyping with my girlfriend
This literally just happened. I think I'm still in shock over it. I was skyping with my girlfriend who goes to university a few states away. I know her class schedule, and she was getting ready to leave for her two o'clock class. Someone came knocking on her dorm room door,... | 12 | 257.083333 | |
1375390815 | 1375534196 | null | t5_2to41 | 25 | AbigailNormal: TIFU by possibly giving myself pink eye
This is embarrassing but I think you fine folks can appreciate it. it actually began last night when I, being somewhat of a degenerate weirdo, was furiously fapping away to some lesbian bondage porn. Suddenly I felt the unbearable and unmistakable sensation of an e... | 5 | 5 | |
1375397538 | 1375454469 | null | t5_2to41 | 9 | RicoSuav: TIFU (about to) by having my ex come over so we can "talk."
So I broke up with this girl, after a year of dating, because of minor issues and now she wants to talk a month after our break up. I've managed to get over her and as the time gets closer for her to get here, I can feel my heart pounding faster and ... | 5 | 1.8 | |
1375405589 | 1375460350 | null | t5_2to41 | 402 | The_Velocilfaptor: TIFU by helicopter dicking too hard
This is a PSA, for all of you who think dancing with no dick restriction is a good idea.
So I was just finished banging my lovely lady friend. We haven't gotten to do it in a while as she was on a vacation with her family for a wedding, so when she got back after ... | 8 | 50.25 | |
1375400101 | 1375681975 | null | t5_2to41 | 50 | InAGreenSuit: TIFU by asking my dad which watch he preferred
As of recent I have been contenting myself towards the end of the day by (amongst other things) trawling through websites looking for a nice watch. When I find one, I often take picture of them with my phone and save them to compare them all at the end.
On t... | 3 | 16.666667 | |
1375406945 | 1375563899 | null | t5_2to41 | 33 | jamie0909: TIFU by farting on my boyfriend
This morning shortly after I woke up I was down in the kitchen cooking pancakes in just my panties. As I was cleaning the pan afterwards, my boyfriend sneaks up on me and starts playing with my boobs and then eventually he starts tickling my tummy. As he is tickling me, he kne... | 7 | 4.714286 | |
1375412191 | 1375436107 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | trevonator126: TIFU By taking my dad on an ATV ride.
When I was 12, my dad got an ATV. He would always take us on rides. Eventually I asked if I could drive with him. He let me. I was a terrible driver as I was so used to driving a dirt bike. Two years later, I am driving it by myself. I top at about 40 mph. I do drift... | 10 | 0.4 | |
1375392166 | 1375509082 | null | t5_2to41 | 30 | makthekat: TIFU by taking a big gulp of meat grease
Today I stopped at the local gas station to grab a cheap drink that came in a styrofoam cup. After I got home, I decided to make some supper and started cooking some ground beef on the stove. I soon needed something to put the grease in, so I grabbed a nearby empty so... | 4 | 7.5 | |
1375420674 | 1375681223 | null | t5_2to41 | 85 | Imreallystupidd: TIFU by crushing my boyfriend's dick-related self esteem
I honestly don't know why I did what I did. I'm an ass, I guess, is the only thing I can say.
Okay okay it wasn't today, it was a few weeks ago. My parents were out of town & my boyfriend and I saw it as the perfect opportunity for a night o... | 8 | 10.625 | |
1375389858 | 1375425378 | null | t5_2to41 | 5 | korinthia: TIFU by making a toaster explode
OK I know yall hate this but its a great story that happened to me 8ish years ago. Enter a very hungry Korinthia into the kitchen. Ohshit.jpg leftover toasted raviolis! (for anyone not from the midwest, more specifically St Louis, these are breaded and fried meat ravioli, fu... | 3 | 1.666667 | |
1375427317 | 1375427590 | null | t5_2to41 | 19 | Ishouldathrownitaway: TIFU by leaving a condom at my uncle's.
So I was house sitting for my uncle for the past few weeks. He said the typical 'no parties, protect my house' thing. Never said anything about not having my boyfriend over.
So we fucked. A lot.
I came home on Monday, and just got a call this morning fro... | 3 | 6.333333 | |
1375429843 | 1375681653 | null | t5_2to41 | 41 | [deleted]: TIFU by unknowingly trying to pay for 40 cents worth of casette tapes with a quarter (wait, it gets better).
Basically what I did was I was going to give fifty cents to the cashier at a thrift store for forty cents worth of tapes, but I made the dumb mistake of only putting a quarter on the counter. Wait, it... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1375428321 | 1375559378 | null | t5_2to41 | 90 | BIGJFRIEDLI: TIFU by making my mom sob in IKEA
So, I'm headed off to college halfway across the country in exactly three week's time. My mom has been getting more and more clingy, as my twin sister and I will be the first children to leave the nest, and decided we should be spending as much time together as possible be... | 7 | 12.857143 | |
1375431100 | 1375470775 | null | t5_2to41 | 26 | [deleted]: TIFU by thinking it was a good idea to live with my mother and her legitimately crazy boyfriend
I had only been living with them for about a month, and I knew long before I moved in that this guy had legitimate mental disorders (ptsd combined with a grab bag of other random issues). A few hours ago I was jus... | 3 | 8.666667 | |
1375443418 | 1381368860 | null | t5_2to41 | 141 | Sir_Dude: TIFU because I couldn't tell the difference betweeen dreams and reality.
Have you ever woken up confused? I don't mean 'I got blackout drunk-what happened last night?' I mean when you wake up, but you think you're still dreaming and you don't realize you're awake.
Well, last night I guess I was having a nigh... | 7 | 20.142857 | |
1375442789 | 1375451780 | null | t5_2to41 | -12 | illBoopYaHead: TIFU by not letting somebody overtake
Now this isn't a fuckup because of my initial actions but rather because it could of ended in dire consequences.
So today on my commute to work I was happily driving along in a long line of cars doing the speed limit when all of a sudden I see a troublemaker in his ... | 7 | -1.714286 | |
1375449914 | 1375717007 | null | t5_2to41 | 134 | dramaticat: TIFU by not ensuring the clear liquid in the water bottle on my kitchen bench was water.
Found a water bottle on bench in kitchen, about a 1/3 of clear liquid left in it, obviously water so I top that bad boy up with cordial and head to uni. Start drinking in lecture to drop a couple of painkillers for my b... | 7 | 19.142857 | |
1375451406 | 1375498190 | null | t5_2to41 | 2,671 | little_foot_89: TDFU by choking my boyfriend out while sitting on his face. NSFW
Just got off my period and hadn't gotten head in about a week. We had been talking about it all day, so before bed I thought it would be a good idea to sit on his face. while he was eating me out I kept saying don't stop as I was leaning b... | 12 | 222.583333 | |
1375455126 | 1375456999 | null | t5_2to41 | 80 | [deleted]: TIFU by having my entire family hearing my loud porn unbeknownst to me
I'm currently visiting my folks back home for a family reunion of sorts. Anyhoo, it's starting to get late and I get that tense pressure in my pants that reminds me I haven't whacked off or been laid in a week. Time to release the krake... | 3 | 26.666667 | |
1375484704 | 1375485748 | null | t5_2to41 | 4 | Larviz: TIFU by burning my middle finger on my cars rotor.
Ok I admit I had a HUGE brain fart today. My car was making noise and when I stopped at the store I went to look at it, I bent over and checked the rotors on the car for any groves in them. Well as you guessed it not that smartest thing to do after driving th... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1375492392 | 1375507245 | null | t5_2to41 | 10 | ConstableOdo: TIFU by first losing my bank card and then my other cards too.
So today at 11 AM i went to buy something, couldn't find my bank card. I have my ID and my Applebee's Gift Card but no bank card. I thought "Well I must have left it at home, no biggie."
So I get home and can't find my card. So I decide to g... | 3 | 3.333333 |
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